After our audition, we are joined by Candice Owens and some lovely ladies in the panel to talk about what they do in their day to day lives and what they are looking for in a potential suitor. Candice is an educator, Kayla Hollywood is a rapper, Alexis is a special needs teacher, and J.J. Johnny is a criminal defense attorney and is in the process of getting a Master's degree in Forensic Psychology and is looking for a relationship with someone who is willing to take care of her children. We hope you enjoy this episode of the Frustrated Podcast and we hope you all have a great rest of the week! Thank you so much for listening and supporting the podcast. Please don t forget to rate, comment, and subscribe to our other podcast, The Frustrating Podcast. And we are live! XOXO, EJ & AJ and we are going to do another episode next Monday! xoxo, Ej & EJ and EJ is a big thank you to EJ for coming on the podcast and for being a part of the podcast! Love ya'll. EJ and Ej is a very special thank you EJ! and you are a good friend of the show. Cheers, Cheers! -EJ & J.O.H. & we are here to make y'all laugh and have a good time and have fun! Thank ya. - EJ. and Cheers. CHEERS! (AJ.B. & Ej ( ) . CHECK OUT THE PODCAST AND WE ARE LIVE! CHOO CHO CHOOT CHOCHO CHOOOCHOOO CHEE CHOO CHEE CHOOO CHOOOOOHOOOOOHOOOOHAAAAAAHOOHAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAYAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! CHOOOOOOOOH AND WE WEEEEEHAAAAYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! XOHAHAAAAAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAH!!! & WE ARE LOUEEEEEEEEEEE And we ARE LIVE!! and WE ARE GOING TO DO ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE FRUSTRAAAAAAAAY!
00:07:47.000He is, um, he does digital marketing online as well as, uh, wholesale real estate as well as the, um, the, um, I'm sorry, as well as the storage units is what I was trying to say.
00:08:02.000He's the one who's got me into, uh, storage units.
00:08:15.000Um, actually, normally I wear black or, like, you know, more natural color hair, but, like, I'm on a podcast where there's millions of people and I need to, uh, sell my shit, so I'm wearing green hair.
00:09:08.000So, celebrity boxing is whenever you're chosen to fight another celebrity, and I'm about to go on and fight one of Howard Stern's people, Tan Mom.
00:20:18.000And then chats, just so you guys know, we'll be reading 50 and up, but first I'll get into the first question for the girls just to kind of see where we're at.
00:25:05.000And I guess I'll ask this kind of as a blanket question for you ladies, because you four all said that you want a man, but all of you are involved in sex work.
00:25:12.000Did you guys ever think that being involved in that trade might hurt your ability to have a man and prioritize him?
00:26:50.000Okay, so you said Amanda's priority number one.
00:26:54.000Was that always your priority or did that kind of shift recently?
00:26:57.000Well, I never really had family or anything, and then me and my boyfriend have recently just come together, and I only do OnlyFans from home, and we're working on doing it together.
00:27:06.000What did you say that your boyfriend did?
00:27:08.000I don't know if he asked that, actually.
00:28:25.000I don't know how I would feel if someone that I would want to protect me and not want men to look at me would be like, yes, no, do that and make money.
00:28:36.000I think I would feel, and obviously I'm saying feel, so everybody's emotions are different, but I would feel like that was my pimp and I was just like a hoe.
00:28:45.000Well, I'm managed, so I am completely managed, and people actually message the other people back for me and do all that and take care of that.
00:28:53.000No, I'm not saying that you literally work for him.
00:28:55.000I'm just saying that that dynamic for me, like a man encouraging that and being like, yes, go out and put your body for other men to look at would make me feel like he didn't value me a little bit, I guess that's what I'm saying.
00:29:06.000Well, he does everything for me, so I'm not really worried about it.
00:29:09.000Yeah, I didn't ask if you were worried.
00:29:11.000I actually didn't say, are you worried about it?
00:29:12.000I was just expressing that, like, how does that dynamic, like, does that ever make you feel like he doesn't, you know?
00:29:20.000I would have to say, agree with Candice there, that most men would have a serious point of contention with their girl having videos of themselves on the internet, having sex with other men.
00:29:30.000Anytime I've ever seen, that's why I specifically asked, what does he do for work?
00:29:32.000And I knew that there was an earning disparity.
00:29:34.000Because anytime a guy allows a girl to do that, nine out of ten times, she makes way more than he does.
00:29:39.000And she's able to provide a certain lifestyle for him, so he's okay with it.
00:29:41.000But it's never, he out-earns me, he's more successful than me, he has some status.
00:30:04.000And it's good to hear that feedback also, because you've only been with him for three months, so you don't know where it's going to end, you know?
00:30:08.000And just think about that, because I do think that psychologically for a man, for him to be okay with that, there has to be something else going on, because men do want...
00:30:18.000That sense of, like, this is mine, you know?
00:30:21.000This is just mine, and it's exclusive to me.
00:30:24.000I think most men, I don't want to speak for men.
00:32:06.000When you're 16, your brain's not developed, and I think a lot of young women think that when they're young, and so I totally get that, especially with culture telling you all the time that it's like, do this, do this, and maybe he'll want you.
00:33:19.000Yeah, no, I mean, there's a very clear pipeline that happens, and I think it's actually really great that you're sharing it, because, you know, the worst thing is when people pretend this is, like, an amazing lifestyle, and it's like I had every option available to me.
00:34:47.000I think what happens sometimes is the psychology element there is like when you grow up without a dad in the home, you are missing that affection and it sometimes transfers in the wrong way where you just want a man to give you affection.
00:37:05.000It's a burning question inside of me as I was sitting here.
00:37:08.000So basically, I will honestly say a sexologist is basically a therapist, to really break it down, because I have to study people, I have to read body language, but honestly, being a sexologist, so to speak, it's just people, just talking to people.
00:37:38.000A lot of people have sexual fantasies, for one.
00:37:41.000They have sexual things that they want to do with their partner, whether it's a girlfriend, whether it's a husband, whether it's a wife, whatever.
00:37:46.000But the main thing that people are afraid of is rejection.
00:37:49.000So I teach them how to be comfortable.
00:37:51.000But are you just talking to them, or is there touching involved?
00:39:55.000He had a lot of mommy issues, a lot of codependency issues that I just was not prepared to handle, you know?
00:40:01.000And I felt like if I wasn't in love with him anymore, I'm wasting your time, where you can meet somebody else that can give you that time, and I just wasn't ready.
00:41:27.000Okay, so basically his childhood trauma, he wasn't told that he loved, like, he wasn't told by his mom that she loved him and shit like that.
00:44:15.000But the way that I was raised, I kind of tell the man, like, I don't need you, but I'm not saying in a sense of, like, you're not shit, basically.
00:45:16.000Okay, so you guys are specifically talking about, so you're assuming people just don't get married because obviously the court systems favor women.
00:45:23.000Actually, women will get everything if a guy gets up and leaves.
00:45:25.000So I heard somebody else say like, oh, like the house and blah, blah, and then you'll have nothing.
00:45:30.000I'm like, actually, in the current environment of what happens to men in courtrooms, you'd have pretty much everything.
00:45:37.000You're basically saying you could potentially be with a person that doesn't want to marry you, but you should just never be with a person that doesn't want to marry you, is what I would say.
00:45:46.000If you're talking to a guy and he never wants to marry you, then that's a really...
00:45:50.000That's why I ended my last relationship.
00:45:52.000I felt like we were together for too long, and I asked him, like, hey, do you foresee us getting married?
00:46:09.000So you guys are painting a picture of not needing a man, but actually it's a circumstance where it's A specific kind of relationship where the guy doesn't want to marry the woman.
00:46:19.000Because, I mean, if a guy said, yes, I do want to marry you, then you wouldn't have this perspective of like, I'm not putting a man first, right?
00:46:25.000I would never put a man first because even though this is my life.
00:47:44.000And so I would just say, like, maybe when you put that out there to a guy...
00:47:48.000Like, I, I, I, then they say, okay, maybe this isn't marriage material because she's telling me that even if I give her everything and I have the potential, then the risk of losing everything, that she still would not make any sacrifices in her life.
00:49:16.000Do you think, after putting your career first, being a dancer, being involved in the work that you're in, that you're going to find your dream man at the end of the line?
00:49:43.000Okay, so basically, like, how she was saying, like, when I do get into a relationship or an engagement, like, even with my ex-fiance, I told him, I tell everybody what I do up front.
00:49:53.000Like, look, I do this, that, and the third.
00:49:54.000Do you want to be a part of it or do you not?
00:51:37.000Well, you can, but I'm saying that I think for men, and I don't want to speak for men, but you're telling them what your values are when you say, I do this and I do that and I do this, right?
00:51:50.000They don't think that you're just performing, per se.
00:52:17.000But I tell you that I sell crack to children, so my values are in check because I told you that I sell crack to children.
00:52:24.000Let me also add, if I do get into a relationship, me telling you up front what I do, if you're not comfortable with that, I will not do it.
00:52:32.000If I value you enough where I'm like, okay, he's worth it.
00:52:36.000But I also know what type of man that I can give up part of my income for.
00:52:43.000But I'm just saying, how can you separate your values from what you do?
00:52:46.000Like, given that example I just gave you.
00:53:58.000I mean, you already said that you're putting your career first, which is fine.
00:54:00.000I'm just wondering, like, if you're okay with the quality of men that's going to be left for you at the end of the road when you're done with your career and you're done prioritizing that.
00:54:08.000I have dealt with both shitty men and quality men.
00:55:47.000And when did you get into the business?
00:55:50.000Well, since I got kicked out of school, so, like, if you're at, like, I don't have a, no, I didn't have a dad, but I went to college.
00:55:55.000I, like, had a 4.0 and a Fulbright scholarship, and I was doing really well, but got kicked out for a joke I made, and then I, um, that led me into, you know, the sex industry, and it's just, for me, as a means to an end, it's the only thing I knew what I could do to make some money, so.
00:56:10.000And how does that impact, like, I guess, your relationship with your mom?
00:56:14.000Does she know you're on OnlyFans, or no?
00:57:29.000So I feel like now people keep saying they have to, but...
00:57:33.000It's just like, I want fast money and I want to be able to pay rent, you know, sort of a thing.
00:57:36.000Yeah, I want to be able to pay rent, but what else would I do that's going to make me the same amount?
00:57:43.000It's not going to make you the same amount.
00:57:44.000I don't make a lot of money, because I don't do the absolute most.
00:57:46.000So I make a regular amount, and I make enough to get by.
00:57:49.000And I don't know, even, I don't know, I watched my mom struggle growing up, and I saw her do all the normal jobs, and she didn't sell her body and all that, and she struggled a lot.
00:58:00.000So I really just kind of was like, I'm doing almost anything.
00:58:05.000And to not end up like that and like literally being homeless and dumpster diving and all that, like I would rather, yes, I would rather do OnlyFans than that.
00:58:13.000So like, I think I just have that like, that fear, you know, like, and I just, I watch my mom do all the regular jobs and yeah, so.
00:58:22.000Candice, in your opinion, why do you think women resort to OnlyFans when they have other options?
00:58:27.000Well, so the first thing I would say is that I do see this trend.
00:58:30.000That's why I always ask about whether you grow up with a dad, because usually the answer is no.
00:58:34.000And I think that that definitely matters.
00:58:39.000I think the problem is that when, especially when you're young, you just want fast money.
00:58:44.000And I don't think they realize that they're making, like, it's like, yeah, this is money up front, but you are, is going to cost you when you get older.
00:58:54.000You know, it's like doing a deal with the devil, right?
00:58:57.000Where it's like, up front, everything's gonna look great, and then you're gonna, you know, trip over near 30, you know, and you're gonna realize the men, the options, and also, by the way, when you're on OnlyFans and selling your body, like, your body's only gonna go in one direction.
00:59:12.000A stock that is just declining with age, right?
00:59:16.000So there's going to be the next 18-year-old that wants to put her boobies on the internet, and you're just not going to be able to bring in the money that you could.
00:59:24.000So, you know, it's the youth, you know, they say youth is wasted on the young, and I think that that's very true.
00:59:30.000I think there's a new environment where also the materialism that's on Instagram makes them want more before they have to work for it.
01:00:03.000I feel like, especially with social media, a lot of girls base their worth off of how fast they can get money with doing the least amount of work.
01:00:27.000You know all these girls are now now leaves all these other girls to be like oh Like what do I have to do to make that kind of money without doing a lot of work?
01:00:35.000Because that would mean like oh I I'm not worth like a lot.
01:01:06.000Because I've always kind of found this interesting when girls say that they put men first and then they get into a career field that's going to ostracize them from the very men that they wanted.
01:01:13.000They don't understand how men tick, I think.
01:01:28.000But at the end of the day, your body's going to come online.
01:01:31.000And so I always talk about this book I read by E.O. Wilson, which is...
01:01:35.000It's called On Human Nature, and basically his thesis is that at the end of the day, your biology is going to win, and he starts correlating it to what happens in the wild, and what men want, what male species wants, and what the female species wants in the wild, and how your body actually dictates that,
01:01:53.000Men want a certain type of woman and why it is that women want a certain type of man, like the protection, the hunters, the gatherers, and that's never going to change.
01:02:01.000And I think that, unfortunately, for these women, when they realize that, when the biology really comes online is probably in your mid-20s, it's too late because of the things that they've done, and men are not going to change their taste.
01:02:53.000It's been in every single one of you guys' situation, whether you're a dancer, a stripper, whatever it is, OnlyFans, whatever that tough conversation.
01:03:14.000But that's kind of what ends up happening, where girls that are involved in that either have to A, stay single, B, acquiesce and get with a lower status male that's below them, kind of like in your situation, which I'm gonna...
01:03:31.000It always happens when girls make more money than their men and puts them in a leadership role, puts them in a dominant role, and then that guy has to submit to the woman and that's a very unattractive feature to be in a relationship.
01:04:19.000I've seen this, and I don't mean to pick on you, but every single girl that's come on the show where she's in a situation where she makes way more than her man or whatever it may be, it never ends well.
01:04:28.000I think it's about how you carry yourself or how you represent yourself.
01:04:30.000I don't believe in letting your career define who you are.
01:04:34.000Yeah, you might not believe in it, but belief is not going to change biology.
01:06:11.000If I feel you naturally, if I'm feeling you naturally, I will say it's...
01:06:16.000Sometimes it's hard for me to be attracted to a male, but if it's natural and I'm like, I'm feeling, like right now, I'm dealing with someone that I'm naturally attracted to.
01:09:28.000Okay, so one thing that I will never ever do it again is financial humiliation, which is basically I'm going to take evidence of your entire life, whether you have a wife, whether you have kids, whatever, and I'm going to call your wife, I'm going to call your family,
01:17:14.000But all I'm saying is, is that when I said that, like, I'm and my husband are seeking arrangements, to the left side, it was kind of like a...
01:19:30.000We've been real transparent about using SA just strictly to get on there and use it as a dating site, smash them chicks, whatever it may be, and you try to put me in the same box.
01:19:38.000Do you guys want to get married or no?
01:21:47.000I didn't want to focus on success and I didn't want to put time towards someone else's kid.
01:21:51.000So I said, you know, it's not working out for me.
01:21:52.000Part of that's natural too, by the way, biologically, like men not wanting to take care of something that's not, there's a lot of interesting science behind that.
01:21:59.000So I chose either that family or my success and I just chose success.
01:22:03.000But yeah, I mean, again, if I meet somebody, it may change in the future, but for now, I'm just living life, you know?
01:23:07.000And if I want to expand my circle, dating apps is an easy way to meet new people who are in different industries, have different interests.
01:24:42.000Say, hey, listen, buddy, you know what?
01:24:43.000This is going good and all, but you're not my type.
01:24:46.000Honestly, I think it takes a few years to live with someone and being in a relationship to actually get to know this person and have an idea.
01:24:57.000Do you see your future with him or not?
01:27:36.000Yeah, I thought it was you right around here.
01:27:45.000No, I do not feel like I'm missing out at all.
01:27:49.000Actually, I think that getting married was the first time that I felt like my whole life came together and I knew my purpose and having children Nothing else matters.
01:27:59.000I always want women to unlock that in life because when you realize...
01:28:04.000I think before, you just don't know what you're doing.
01:28:06.000You just don't know what you're doing.
01:28:46.000So I was thinking about that with Kayla because I had a former porn star on my show, and you should definitely watch that episode, and she transformed her life.
01:28:53.000She has kids, she's married, and she just came to her faith, and it was a really interesting conversation to talk about, you know, the industry, same thing, drug addiction, everything, and then she just gave up her life to God and, you know, met somebody at church who just wanted to know more about her.
01:29:09.000She was very open about You know, her life and where she came from.
01:29:52.000Literally anything else you're not gonna have a life of comfort you're not gonna have a life of like whatever you see on Instagram I mean I slept on friends couches I actually had a friend ironically in Miami who like we were best friends all through high school went to a club one night and Our luck somehow ended up with meeting Wyclef and Lil Wayne,
01:32:51.000When you're broke and you're in it, it feels like, how am I ever going to get out of this?
01:32:57.000But I also tell people, because my faith is intact, that looking in the retrospect, every single challenge that God gives you, He picks you uniquely for those challenges.
01:33:09.000I'm so grateful for when I was sleeping in my car, sleeping on someone's couch, sleeping in someone's closet, just trying to stay alive in New York.
01:33:16.000Because I know that it was like his perfect design to have me go through those experiences because there was something bigger at the end of that where like now I can speak with authority when I'm like talking to Destiny and he's like, are you lying about being poor?
01:33:26.000It was the dumbest question I've ever had.
01:34:28.000I just, I always followed you and your presence in general because I did know that you came from a similar, not a similar situation, but I do know you came from like a hard situation and I came from a hard situation.
01:34:42.000You know, I grew up, I was homeless until I was 13, 14 years old.
01:34:47.000And so that's why I took so much from you and everything you say, which is why I wanted to ask you that question, because I did notice, even though you don't talk a lot about being married, I do notice that there is a ring on your finger and you carry yourself in the presence of a woman who is satisfied and happy and accomplished in life.
01:35:05.000And I just want to know, like, what can I do to be that?
01:35:07.000What can I do to be for my husband, that woman that I feel like you are for me?
01:35:12.000And that might sound kind of creepy or a little bit weird.
01:35:15.000I think, honestly, it's all about honor and respect, and it seems crazy to say this, but the Bible, man, you read it and you're just like, man, this had to have been written by God, because it just works, and it talks about that, about letting men lead, and people have Sadly,
01:35:32.000over the years, just made that seem like it was something that was bad, you know, by pretending it meant like, oh, women are serving husbands and, you know, and they're miserable and things of that nature.
01:35:39.000But when you pervert the word, when you just pervert the word, period, your life kind of becomes perversion, you know?
01:35:45.000And so I think just, you know, respect yourself, obviously, but respect your husband and honor him.
01:36:35.000Because I think that, like, when you're in something, again, like, if there seems like there's such permanence, and I hated my 20s, because it was nothing but anxiety.
01:37:22.000I think honestly it was just me being stubborn because there were definitely moments and I do wonder like what I don't know I really don't know like when I had those moments like why I kept going I think I think I probably started with a chip on my shoulder you know like just to prove that I could do it and I could be something different like having a mom that didn't graduate high school like a dad and feeling like every bet was against me so it probably started with a little bit of a chip on my shoulder and just wanting to prove the world wrong That damn Kanye song,
01:38:29.000Would you say being a mom and having a husband is the largest component as to why the 30s is better?
01:38:34.000Because I guess that pressure to find a husband that you love and mind and respect and having a family, would you say that's the largest component as to your fulfillment in your 30s?
01:38:45.000What I would say is, I'm speaking specifically for women.
01:38:48.000I actually do think it is harder being a woman when you're growing up.
01:38:53.000There's just so much you've got to deal with.
01:39:11.000Like it's just like what's being blared at you that you have to do is actually not your natural inclination of what you would want to do or like it is like the message that's blaring is counter to women really.
01:39:20.000So feminism just is making us even more anxious because we're doing jobs that we don't even want to effing do.
01:39:25.000But we're like we got to be bad just like men.
01:39:27.000And so I think that the best part of that Is, like I said, the exhale and being able to release it because, and this is again, if you do, you know, get married and establish and go back to tradition and stop fighting your biology and realize that like actually everything you were sold in school and through the media is a lie and it's counter to what's actually going to make you happy.
01:39:46.000And when you recognize that and you pursue tradition and honor and respect, like I was just like, Oh my gosh, I made it.
01:40:51.000You know, I never say never, but what I will say is that, like, I love my life in the home, and I just don't see why I would invite that kind of chaos unless I really felt like, oh, my country needs me, and there's nobody else, and this is a sacrifice.
01:41:04.000But I think people that want that, like, you have to be a certain kind of person and probably not a great person.
01:41:10.000If you, like, wake up and you're like, I just want to be the president, like, it's like, I don't know if that's, like, a good person, like, personality-wise.
01:45:33.000I think, Candace, you need to do something in the political world because more women need to hear your message.
01:45:38.000And the reality is, unfortunately, men, we can't get through to women the same way.
01:45:41.000We speak in a certain way where just even before you're able to interpret what I said, you're able to interpret what she said, and you're able to marry the two and let her be happy, whatever may be.
01:45:49.000And I think it's very important that there's a female voice that has some logic and reason, etc.
01:45:54.000And women, a lot of times, don't want to hear what we've got to say.
01:45:56.000We need someone that can speak to them, and I think you should really think about getting into office.
01:46:37.000My cousins, dude, they always diss me the whole time, and one of my cousins told me I look a little like the alien emoji, and I can't unsee it.
01:53:31.000Follow me on Candace Owen's podcast, which is on YouTube, so you can just hit the subscribe button, and then other than that, I'm all over the internet.
01:53:38.000I think we've been trending, like I said, so we just went after Rabbi Shmueli today.