Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 02, 2019


#127 | The tits podcast has been fixed


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

165.88678

Word Count

2,104

Sentence Count

178

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

The Tits Podcast has been fixed. The audio on the other one has not been working correctly for a while, but it's not Ryan's fault, it's mine, and I'm sorry about that. We talk about a lot of other stuff, too, but I don't really have time to cover it all. Also, we talk about Sean Penn's cigarette in his mouth, and a man who's son has a seizure on a plane and could still be alive, and the dad is trying to figure out what to do about it. We also talk about how to fix the audio issues on the Tits podcast, and why you shouldn't care if you don't have a Commodore 64, but you should probably get one anyway. Just pay the 2.95 postage and you're good to go. I'm doing a live Mystream on Mysteries on Thursday, so be sure to check it out! If you like the show, please subscribe and tell a friend about it! XOXO, Kevin Kevin's new book is out now! Timestamps: 1:00 - What's wrong with you? 4:30 - What do you think of Sean Penn s cigarette in your mouth? 7:00 8:00- What would you do with it? 9:15 - What should I do with your cigarette? 11:30- Is it a good idea? 16:30 17:20 - Is it okay? 18:40 - What are you going to do with that? 19:15- How do you would you like to be stuck in a chair? 21: What's the worst thing you could you do? 22:30 Is it too big? 25:00 -- what do you want me to do to your mouthpiece? 26:30 -- what's your favorite thing to make it better? 27:15 -- how do you have a chair or not? 28:40 -- is it better than a cup of coffee? 29:10 - What s your favorite part? 30:00? 35:00-- Is it more important? 31:30-- is it more than an action figure? 36: Is it enough? 32:00 | Can you be choosers? 33:00 + 35:10 35 + 36:00 & 37:00 // 35:40


Transcript

00:00:01.000 The tits podcast has been fixed.
00:00:05.000 I don't normally apologize, but I would like to apologize for that.
00:00:09.000 I don't know whose fault it is.
00:00:11.000 Whose fault is that, Ryan?
00:00:13.000 Mine in so many ways.
00:00:15.000 What did you do wrong?
00:00:17.000 Well, so the cord, I could give you an example.
00:00:20.000 Here's some audio.
00:00:22.000 Here's what happens when the cord isn't perfectly in there.
00:00:28.000 It just goes to blank.
00:00:30.000 Yeah, you could hear it in one channel.
00:00:34.000 So what I'm hearing, let me stop that, what I'm hearing is my left, I hear it in my left headphone, but not my right.
00:00:40.000 So I thought the way to fix it without having to, uh, I didn't listen to it because the waveform looked normal.
00:00:47.000 Cause we're chatting over the blank, the, the, the 911 tapes, whatever the, the, the video we're playing.
00:00:55.000 Um, so you can't, uh,
00:00:58.000 Uh, you don't see like a dead space when you look at the waveforms.
00:01:01.000 Yeah, usually just look at the waveforms, you know, because I just live the podcast so I know that content wise everything's supposed to be there.
00:01:07.000 So anyway, but I had to go in there, download the video, and then line it up because you could hear it coming from my headphone when we actually started getting the audio going on.
00:01:16.000 But yeah, so I had to just link the audio.
00:01:18.000 It was not there because of this cord.
00:01:21.000 But it looked fine, so I exported it.
00:01:23.000 You know, I like to take poops on you, like Triumph the Infant's Old Dog, but I don't think that that's really your fault.
00:01:33.000 If a cord went out and the waveform, when you look at it, looks okay,
00:01:39.000 I'm not sure that that could be avoided unless you listen to the whole thing and it was coming through your headphones.
00:01:44.000 I will say when you notice there was something glitchy on your headphones you should have gone back and checked where you heard the glitch and seen how serious the glitch was.
00:01:53.000 That's true, yep.
00:01:55.000 How serious is the glitch?
00:01:56.000 You know what I figured?
00:01:57.000 It's a Dr. Seuss book, I think.
00:01:59.000 How serious is the glitch?
00:02:00.000 The glitch I sitch?
00:02:03.000 Something?
00:02:03.000 The glitch I stitch.
00:02:05.000 So in my, yeah, I just figured there's this neat little thing.
00:02:07.000 So let's say if we're only recording through our left headphone, like non-stereo, you could just fill the right channel up with the left and it equals out.
00:02:14.000 So I did that.
00:02:15.000 Okay, let's not bore them with all the technical details.
00:02:17.000 I mean, there are some women who listen to this podcast and they obviously don't want to be bothered with such things.
00:02:23.000 Truth.
00:02:24.000 Um, you know what we should do?
00:02:25.000 We should glue Sean Penn's cigarette into his mouth.
00:02:28.000 Oh, that's a good idea.
00:02:30.000 Um, so yeah, this is a mini podcast.
00:02:32.000 It's not a real podcast.
00:02:34.000 This was just to announce that the other one's fixed.
00:02:36.000 Normally I'd announce that on Twitter, but I've been banned.
00:02:39.000 Or I'd announce it on Facebook, but I've been banned.
00:02:43.000 Or I'd announce it on Instagram,
00:02:45.000 But I've been banned.
00:02:47.000 Or I would announce it on Pinterest or LinkedIn or PayPal or MySpace.
00:02:52.000 Can I get on MySpace?
00:02:54.000 Does MySpace still exist?
00:02:56.000 It's garbage.
00:02:58.000 I don't care.
00:02:58.000 Beggars can't be choosers.
00:02:59.000 Imagine, yeah, you make MySpace the place to be.
00:03:02.000 Hey guys, I'm doing a live MySpace.
00:03:04.000 It's called a MyStream.
00:03:06.000 And I'm doing that Thursday.
00:03:08.000 It's free for everyone with a Commodore 64.
00:03:11.000 We're going to fill up your zip drive with all kinds of awesome content.
00:03:18.000 You should do it.
00:03:20.000 Um, just see what, and try to make that, try to announce that.
00:03:25.000 All I have to add in the past 24 hours is one thing I didn't mention.
00:03:28.000 Yesterday we were off at so many tangents and I was talking about that guy on the Jamaican flight who, white guy, whose son was as handicapped as you could possibly be and still be alive.
00:03:40.000 Like his body was just contorted in, you know the way someone's body gets as they're having a seizure?
00:03:46.000 Well, press pause on the seizure and that was him constantly frothing at the mouth.
00:03:52.000 He had a bib.
00:03:53.000 I don't know how conscious he was.
00:03:55.000 I don't know if he understood anything.
00:03:57.000 But this dad, and I think his wife was there too, but the dad was doing all the, literally the heavy lifting.
00:04:04.000 And wiping his face and getting, sort of trying to fit him into a chair.
00:04:09.000 He sat, he got in the chair the way an action figure would get in a chair.
00:04:12.000 Imagine you had a life-size action figure with its joints glued shut.
00:04:16.000 I sound like I'm making fun of this guy.
00:04:17.000 I'm obviously not, asshole.
00:04:20.000 Obviously.
00:04:21.000 When I was watching that guy, I just thought, there's so many people whining for attention and talking about how hard their lives are, and these fat poets talking about how their skinny boyfriend says you're fat and beautiful, why can't I be both?
00:04:37.000 We have so many people whining and getting so much attention, like Jussie Smollett for his invented slights.
00:04:42.000 And you think, these people, no one talks about them.
00:04:46.000 The people with the severely handicapped kids.
00:04:48.000 They don't have a blog.
00:04:50.000 They don't go on marches and demand more attention.
00:04:54.000 They just really fuckin' buckle down.
00:04:57.000 And that brings me to what you said where I poo-pooed you at the end.
00:05:01.000 Maybe we should do a wrap-up show after we do every podcast.
00:05:05.000 You said the ones, to quote KRS-One, to paraphrase KRS-One, the ones screamin' keep it real the loudest are usually the ones the most full of shit.
00:05:14.000 And conversely, like the SPLC obviously is telling everyone how to live a moral life and they're they're fucking totally corrupt.
00:05:22.000 Similarly, comedians are telling you that you're a loser and your life's going nowhere and then they kill themselves.
00:05:29.000 Conversely, the ones screaming, keep it real, the quietest are the ones keeping it the most real.
00:05:35.000 Like this guy carrying his son from the super advanced wheelchair to it wasn't just a normal wheelchair.
00:05:41.000 I don't know how the fuck you check this thing.
00:05:43.000 It was like a rascal.
00:05:46.000 The guy dealing with that son, getting him on the seat, wiping his face, taking him to Jamaica, bring him to the beach, putting on his trunks, wiping his ass, taking him in the water, floating him around in the water.
00:05:57.000 And all the while, constantly worried about what's going to happen to this guy after he dies of old age.
00:06:06.000 Those are some, can we get their priority straight, please?
00:06:10.000 Like the, the, we find six people who've been, six black guys have been killed by cops a year.
00:06:18.000 Nine times out of ten, those guys go straight to jail.
00:06:22.000 We just had an officer slap a guy in a hospital.
00:06:25.000 Hispanic cop slapped a guy in a hospital.
00:06:27.000 It was a suicide attempt, and the guy just nailed him in the face.
00:06:30.000 That's pretty rough.
00:06:32.000 Pretty rough, yes.
00:06:33.000 Five years in prison, that cop's got.
00:06:35.000 Oh yeah?
00:06:36.000 Yeah.
00:06:36.000 Holy smokes.
00:06:37.000 And they're not nice to cops in prison.
00:06:38.000 So, we're so focused on that, and we totally ignore the 20 black men a day who die in gang warfare.
00:06:47.000 I think it's the death of math.
00:06:49.000 We used to do math in high school, now it's new math and two and two can be whatever you want it to be.
00:06:54.000 And now when I say, when they say, we're a nation of immigrants, this country was built by immigrants.
00:07:00.000 Yeah, it was built by legal citizens.
00:07:02.000 How many illegals are here right now?
00:07:04.000 I don't know.
00:07:05.000 How many illegals are you okay with?
00:07:08.000 Uh, no number.
00:07:09.000 No number?
00:07:10.000 So a billion?
00:07:11.000 Can a billion people come here?
00:07:12.000 They can't answer that question because math isn't relevant to them.
00:07:16.000 Well, of course math is relevant.
00:07:18.000 If there's 50 million illegals in America, we have a serious problem on our hands.
00:07:23.000 If there's 3 million illegals in America?
00:07:25.000 Eh.
00:07:26.000 I don't know if you should even mention it.
00:07:29.000 I mean, how many illegals does Canada have?
00:07:31.000 Probably not many.
00:07:33.000 I don't think Canada should talk about illegal immigration.
00:07:35.000 I don't think it's a big deal.
00:07:36.000 I don't think they're voting in elections the way they're voting here.
00:07:39.000 You get what I'm saying?
00:07:41.000 It's the numbers.
00:07:44.000 Anyway, that's not a very cheery subject, but yes, if you go back now on yesterday's podcast, you will see that my kooky theory, kookified theory about Gary Coleman being murdered by his wife, Shannon Price, was the least kooky theory I think I've ever kooked.
00:08:03.000 The Jennifer Chiba theory is way out there.
00:08:05.000 I also have been listening to more Daniel Wakeford and Songs for gigs is it called or songs of gigs?
00:08:15.000 The what a beautiful city is Right now
00:08:25.000 But he's got some stinkers in there.
00:08:28.000 No offense, Daniel, if you're listening.
00:08:30.000 Your ballads are not my cup of tea.
00:08:31.000 I'm not a ballad guy.
00:08:33.000 You sound like the Libertines meets Art Brut, though, when you do pop rock.
00:08:39.000 Like Blur almost?
00:08:41.000 Yeah, Blur meets Art Brut.
00:08:43.000 Art Brut are a very underrated band, by the way.
00:08:48.000 Can you find Playboi Sexy Time or something?
00:08:51.000 Playboi Girls.
00:08:54.000 Lots of sexy Playboi Girls.
00:08:57.000 He's got two albums out.
00:09:01.000 He's got Art for Gigs.
00:09:02.000 That's by Daniel.
00:09:03.000 Daniel Wakeford.
00:09:04.000 And then there's, well clearly, what, you just looked up... I thought it was Art Brut, because you're talking about them.
00:09:11.000 No.
00:09:14.000 The Songs of Gigs.
00:09:15.000 There's so much sexy!
00:09:19.000 He's right!
00:09:19.000 Agreed, Daniel.
00:09:37.000 They do have a boogie.
00:09:39.000 You would like to party with them.
00:09:40.000 And it's true, they have so much sexy.
00:09:42.000 It's not just their lips or their tits or something.
00:09:45.000 Even their heels are sexy.
00:09:46.000 They have so much sexy.
00:09:54.000 He's very patriotic too.
00:09:57.000 I gotta say, I haven't missed Vice since I left.
00:10:00.000 I haven't thought about them much.
00:10:02.000 But this is the first time I've missed having a record label.
00:10:05.000 I wish I was still associated with Vice Records and I could get them to sign Daniel Wakeford.
00:10:10.000 And we could just sort of amalgamate him into a party with a bunch of big name bands like The Streets and Block Party.
00:10:20.000 Who was that other good band that we signed?
00:10:23.000 The Black Lips.
00:10:24.000 And you just say, Daniel, I love all your songs, but we're just going to do the hits.
00:10:28.000 Like he has four super hits.
00:10:30.000 Just play four songs on and off by.
00:10:33.000 He's outsider art.
00:10:34.000 You know who else is kind of outsider art?
00:10:36.000 Andrew WK.
00:10:38.000 People don't get him.
00:10:40.000 Hot Rock, what was it called?
00:10:42.000 Rock 97?
00:10:44.000 What's the main Rock FM?
00:10:46.000 The main New York rock station that everyone listens to?
00:10:49.000 Hot 97 is one of them.
00:10:50.000 That's rap.
00:10:51.000 That's rap, fuckface.
00:10:52.000 What was it called?
00:10:55.000 Hard Rock FM?
00:10:56.000 No.
00:10:57.000 Rock FM?
00:10:57.000 Kiss FM?
00:10:59.000 Anyway.
00:10:59.000 No, that's R&B.
00:11:00.000 They didn't like Andrew because they thought he was glam.
00:11:05.000 Like Hair Rock.
00:11:06.000 They thought he was a glam band.
00:11:08.000 What do you call those Hair Rock guys?
00:11:11.000 Cinderella and all that?
00:11:12.000 Yeah, Glam Rock.
00:11:14.000 They thought he was Glam Rock.
00:11:15.000 They didn't quite get him.
00:11:16.000 And then other people thought he was a jock.
00:11:17.000 No, he's kind of on the spectrum, Andrew WK.
00:11:20.000 He's kind of a tough Daniel Wakeford, who I couldn't imagine ever being in a fight, despite his bloody nose.
00:11:28.000 Daniel Wakeford.
00:11:30.000 It's like, uh, Jeff Lynn plus one chromosome equals Daniel Winkford.
00:11:38.000 Wait, who's Jeff Lynn?
00:11:39.000 The lead singer of ELO, which my dad cuts his hair.
00:11:42.000 Which my dad cuts his hair.
00:11:44.000 Now you talk like Daniel Winkford.
00:11:44.000 I'm talking like Daniel Winkford.
00:11:46.000 Which my dad cuts his hair!
00:11:49.000 Which one?
00:11:49.000 My dad cuts his hair, yes.
00:11:52.000 And two, second date, yes.
00:11:54.000 Shorter Haringet!
00:11:55.000 Much good times!
00:11:57.000 Alright folks, so sorry, that's just a mini podcast because it's the only place I can announce my things, yes?
00:12:04.000 And one, we fix mistakes, you can go back, yes, and have sexy times in UK!
00:12:10.000 With England, and it's a beautiful city!
00:12:15.000 Check out the Daniel Wakeford experience too, he's got a whole band going.
00:12:18.000 What's that?
00:12:21.000 Just ramping us up with some outro music.
00:12:24.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:25.000 So yeah, mini podcast to explain that we fixed the problems and we'll work hard to make sure it doesn't happen again.
00:12:32.000 I don't think it was really anyone's fault.
00:12:36.000 When a wire dies, no one is to blame.
00:12:41.000 Goodbye.