Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 18, 2019


#153 | The NYPD just came to my house


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 5 minutes

Words per Minute

169.77316

Word Count

21,332

Sentence Count

2,095

Misogynist Sentences

109

Hate Speech Sentences

132


Summary

Gavin McInnes talks about his birthday, the Proud Boys, and the impending trial of The Proud Boys. Also, a new segment is added to the show where we talk about what it's like to be a thief in the 80s and 90s, and why you should never loan money to someone you don't know, unless you're in the service industry. And, of course, we have a special guest on the show this week, who happens to be Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada. Also, we discuss the recent case against the "Proud Boys" and the possibility of their trial, and how it's going to affect the future of punk rock and the culture in general. And, we finally get to the meat of the case, the trial of the "proud boys" and how they should have gotten away with what they were charged for, because they were ambushed by someone who was not a member of the punk rock band "The Proud Boys." We also talk about the case of the New York Times reporter who was ambushed outside a punk rock club and how he should have been able to go to trial and what he should do about it, and what the media should have done about it. Finally, we finish the show with a story about a guy who stole a bunch of french fries and got away with it, because he's gay and it's kind of gay. Enjoy! Logo by Courtney DeKorte is a production of Native Creative Commons. Please rate, review, subscribe, and review, and subscribe to our podcast, and we'll be looking out for new episodes in the future episodes of the podcast. Thank you so we can keep improving the show and making sure you're getting the most out of this podcast. Thank you for all the support we can be a little bit more diverse, more diverse and diverse, and more diverse than just like you, more like you're not getting a chance to be heard on the pod, more of what you're hearing on the podcast that's more authentic than you're reading this, more authentic, less like that's cool, more real and less pretentious than you know what you care about you're going to be more like that, right here, right? . . . well, better than you'll be getting more like it, more cool than you even know what they're hearing this, right?! more like they're getting it?


Transcript

00:00:15.000 New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:44.000 That song's kind of gay.
00:00:47.000 You think so?
00:00:48.000 Stand strong, stand proud, state your feelings loud.
00:00:53.000 Oh wait, we're supposed to be in black and white.
00:00:56.000 Oh, we are?
00:00:56.000 Sorry guys.
00:00:58.000 We're gonna steal the color from you right now.
00:01:01.000 Stealing the color from your eyes!
00:01:04.000 Oh, now my shirt's just a white shirt.
00:01:05.000 Yes.
00:01:07.000 Yeah, state your feelings loud.
00:01:09.000 I'm lonely!
00:01:12.000 I feel scared inside!
00:01:14.000 Don't state your feelings loud.
00:01:16.000 Do not listen to that band.
00:01:18.000 Yeah.
00:01:18.000 Keep your feelings to yourself if you're a man.
00:01:21.000 And you know what?
00:01:21.000 If you're a woman, I wouldn't mind if you just would keep your feelings to yourself too.
00:01:25.000 How about nobody states their feelings loud.
00:01:28.000 Definitely stand strong.
00:01:30.000 Support that.
00:01:31.000 Stand proud.
00:01:31.000 Yes.
00:01:33.000 Don't state your feelings at all.
00:01:35.000 You know, two generations ago, there was no me.
00:01:40.000 There was no self.
00:01:41.000 If you went up to the docks in New Jersey and you said, how are you doing?
00:01:46.000 Are you depressed?
00:01:47.000 They'd go, what?
00:01:49.000 How do you feel?
00:01:49.000 Are you fulfilled?
00:01:50.000 What are your feelings?
00:01:51.000 What are you talking about?
00:01:53.000 I work my ass off all day.
00:01:55.000 I come home.
00:01:56.000 I read the paper.
00:01:57.000 My wife makes dinner.
00:01:58.000 Hungry?
00:01:58.000 What are your feelings?
00:02:00.000 A little parched, I guess.
00:02:02.000 Yeah, I guess I'd like a sandwich later.
00:02:03.000 I like subs.
00:02:05.000 Is that what you're asking?
00:02:06.000 I like salami.
00:02:07.000 Is that what you mean?
00:02:11.000 No, I want to know if you've found yourself.
00:02:15.000 I'm right here.
00:02:17.000 That was Vice Squad, they're a band from Bristol.
00:02:20.000 Still going.
00:02:20.000 That song was probably, what was that?
00:02:22.000 1977 or something?
00:02:23.000 1982 it says.
00:02:23.000 1982.
00:02:23.000 It's, I don't know if you know this, but if you could check in on Justin Trudeau.
00:02:29.000 It's 2019.
00:02:29.000 She's 58 years old.
00:02:30.000 She's 10 years older than me.
00:02:40.000 It's my birthday today, by the way.
00:02:42.000 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
00:02:45.000 Oh, this is the podcast, also.
00:02:48.000 So, I just broke the rule.
00:02:50.000 What?
00:02:51.000 Don't say happy birthday?
00:02:51.000 No, my first sentence wasn't the title of the show.
00:02:55.000 Oh.
00:02:55.000 Whoops.
00:02:56.000 First mistake, strike one.
00:02:58.000 The first sentence of this show, the show's starting now.
00:03:02.000 Actually, don't start the show now.
00:03:03.000 Okay, yeah.
00:03:04.000 Start the show when it started.
00:03:08.000 My first sentence was going to be, and make this the title of the show, I was awoken by the police this morning.
00:03:15.000 The district attorney came by my house with two detectives, woke me up at eight.
00:03:20.000 I hadn't even put my outfit together yet and shown off my new Louis Vuitton belt.
00:03:25.000 When I was in DC doing the free speech thing, Milo, he said, you cannot wear that belt because I just have a cheap shitty belt because I'm a man and we're cheap.
00:03:33.000 And he gave me this Louis Vuitton belt.
00:03:35.000 I'm not giving it back.
00:03:36.000 I'm like Homer Simpson with Ned Flanders tools.
00:03:39.000 You also took hats from your friend in Texas too.
00:03:42.000 Two of them.
00:03:43.000 Like fucking Stetsons.
00:03:45.000 Yeah.
00:03:45.000 I'm a thief.
00:03:48.000 I will steal your shit.
00:03:49.000 Do not loan me anything.
00:03:51.000 You will never see it back.
00:03:52.000 And you'll notice, this is common among thieves, I never loan anyone anything.
00:03:57.000 It could be a thunderstorm outside, I could have 50 umbrellas in my front room and I'd say, sucks to be wet, it's just water, you'll make it, bye.
00:04:06.000 That's from having junkie friends in the punk days and getting all my CDs ripped off.
00:04:13.000 But yeah, I'm keeping this awesome belt.
00:04:17.000 But yeah, they came by, they wanted to talk about this imminent trial of the Proud Boys.
00:04:21.000 I gotta tread really lightly here because I don't want to jeopardize their judgment by saying anything bad about the prosecution.
00:04:31.000 But suffice to say, I think this is ridiculous that there was ten of them and I think about seven got away with community service and they're really hammering hard on these last three who refuse to take a deal and want to go to trial because they're innocent because they were ambushed.
00:04:49.000 And I think that one of the charges is like felony riot with
00:04:53.000 Several years in prison for beating up someone who ambushed you.
00:04:58.000 And it's not just a regular ambush.
00:05:00.000 It's not like someone ambushed you when you're going to pick up your fries.
00:05:03.000 Guess who fucked up my fries?
00:05:05.000 This is after a week of we're going to get you, we are not civil, vandalizing the venue, we're going to kill you, signs outside, beating up reporters, getting arrested for beating up reporters.
00:05:15.000 So it's coming and coming and coming.
00:05:17.000 And if you have trouble having sympathy for these persecuted gentlemen, pretend they're gay.
00:05:23.000 Pretend that a gay guy, me, make me gay, a gay guy was doing a talk on October 12th.
00:05:28.000 The venue was smashed.
00:05:30.000 We don't want homos here.
00:05:31.000 The homos had to hide in the venue.
00:05:34.000 The police made them hide in the venue so they didn't get attacked.
00:05:37.000 People reporting on the homosexuals were beaten up.
00:05:40.000 And then these homos, eventually the crowd was dispersed so the homosexuals could go home.
00:05:45.000 And on the way home, these homos who were being escorted by cops, a group of homophobes had circled the block
00:05:53.000 And then through, they were throwing bottles of urine at the gays, and then they threw a bottle of urine at these, this group of gays, and the gays finally fought back, and won.
00:06:02.000 And when they went up to the homophobes, the police said, do you want to press charges on these gay guys?
00:06:08.000 And they said, fuck you, pig, to the police, and then left.
00:06:13.000 Should these gay men spend three years in prison?
00:06:18.000 There would be t-shirts of them if they were gay.
00:06:22.000 But of course I didn't say anything to the DA, because though I love cops, I'm not going to make it easy for someone who is trying to hurt my friends or me.
00:06:32.000 So if any cop ever comes to your house, God bless his cotton socks, but you're not talking to him.
00:06:38.000 Don't talk to him.
00:06:40.000 Get a lawyer.
00:06:42.000 Cops will tell you that.
00:06:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:43.000 Cops will say, yeah, don't talk to me, dude.
00:06:45.000 What are you, stupid?
00:06:48.000 Yeah, every cop I've ever said goes, sometimes when they're talking, I just think, well, you just made my job way easier.
00:06:53.000 And same with cop shows, where they go, I know why you killed her.
00:06:58.000 You killed her because you were jealous.
00:07:00.000 And eventually he just goes, I wasn't jealous.
00:07:03.000 I killed her because she's a smart ass.
00:07:06.000 And I'm watching the show going, dude, what did you just do?
00:07:09.000 You just confessed to a murder.
00:07:10.000 You're fucked.
00:07:12.000 And you see it on the first 48 too, which is not a drama.
00:07:16.000 That's a docu-series.
00:07:18.000 And they just go, yeah, it was me.
00:07:20.000 I would understand someone going to the cops if there was a dangerous person in their neighborhood, because they don't want that person to hurt them or their family.
00:07:28.000 But the other way around?
00:07:30.000 No.
00:07:31.000 Anyway, so that'll be handled at some point.
00:07:37.000 By the way, felony riot, which is what they're being accused of, was what that Antifa guy David Campbell did.
00:07:43.000 David Campbell was the Antifa kid who almost murdered, beat the shit out of an old man because he thought he was a Nazi.
00:07:50.000 The man was an old Jewish conservative, strangled him, beat him so severely he went into cardiac arrest, was then rushed to the hospital.
00:07:59.000 Then this gentleman, Dave Campbell, started beating up the cops and put a cop in a headlock.
00:08:05.000 The proud boy who defended himself is facing that same charge.
00:08:07.000 How about that Nathan Hose?
00:08:11.000 Wasn't that also, he was facing riot charges?
00:08:13.000 Oh yeah, I think he was facing felony riot.
00:08:15.000 He hanged himself.
00:08:17.000 Did he hung himself?
00:08:20.000 I don't know, I got the obituary here, I doubt they'll put that.
00:08:22.000 No, no, no.
00:08:22.000 You're not listening, Ryan.
00:08:23.000 Oh.
00:08:24.000 Did he hanged himself?
00:08:26.000 He hanged himself.
00:08:27.000 Is that?
00:08:28.000 Humans hanged themselves.
00:08:30.000 Things are hung.
00:08:32.000 So that song, Richard hung himself, is grammatically incorrect.
00:08:35.000 Richard hanged himself.
00:08:37.000 He hang himself.
00:08:38.000 No?
00:08:40.000 He hanged?
00:08:43.000 You are my one man whack pack.
00:08:47.000 How did you get hang out of hanged?
00:08:49.000 With a nice hard D at the end.
00:08:51.000 He hanged himself.
00:08:53.000 Okay, so he hang himself.
00:08:54.000 Jesus.
00:08:56.000 I don't think I sound that way.
00:08:59.000 Before we get started, though, I would like to give a shout out to BetDSI.
00:09:03.000 That's one of the many sponsors we have on this show.
00:09:06.000 We have three now.
00:09:08.000 We have BetDSI, Blue Chew, and Covfefe.
00:09:12.000 Coffee.
00:09:15.000 But I highly recommend betting.
00:09:16.000 If you go to betdsi.com, promo code Gavin, forward slash Gavin, put in the code Gavin, you have to sign up, you have to put money down.
00:09:25.000 So you put money down and then they match your money.
00:09:28.000 And all of a sudden, whatever you're watching is interesting.
00:09:31.000 Now it doesn't have to be just sports.
00:09:34.000 You can bet on celebrities, you can bet on politics, reality TV.
00:09:40.000 And then of course there's eSports, there's UFC, NHL, NFL, NBA, MLB.
00:09:48.000 What's the other one here?
00:09:50.000 Basketball?
00:09:51.000 NBA?
00:09:53.000 I don't remember hearing that one.
00:09:54.000 Really?
00:09:54.000 I don't remember hearing NBA.
00:09:56.000 Huh.
00:09:57.000 There's one of them that's a big long acronym and I'm always impressed that I can say it so fast.
00:10:02.000 It was like NAACP.
00:10:04.000 Hmm.
00:10:05.000 What is that NAACP?
00:10:06.000 The National Association of
00:10:10.000 The Negro Association?
00:10:11.000 It's so weird when these old acronyms have the word Negro in them.
00:10:15.000 Well, Negro would be the first one would be Negro All-American... Just look it up, dude.
00:10:21.000 You're the research guy.
00:10:22.000 I have a computer.
00:10:23.000 You're sitting here guessing and your job is to Google stuff.
00:10:26.000 I don't know, it might be like Hang the Negro?
00:10:30.000 No, that sounds pretty racist.
00:10:33.000 Why would they name it that?
00:10:34.000 That's negative.
00:10:35.000 Well, they didn't.
00:10:37.000 It's the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, frankly.
00:10:42.000 Colored people?
00:10:42.000 What is that?
00:10:43.000 When did they come up with that name?
00:10:44.000 It should be people of color.
00:10:45.000 1920?
00:10:45.000 Yeah, it should be N-double-A-P-C.
00:10:47.000 Well, the problem is they keep updating these politically correct terms and then someone spent a bunch of money building a brand with some old acronym and they're like, I'm sticking with colored people.
00:10:56.000 But don't you say it.
00:10:58.000 You can't bet on the NAACP, but virtually everything else.
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00:11:21.000 Don't miss out and go make some extra cash betting this season.
00:11:26.000 Is that good grammar?
00:11:27.000 Make some extra cash?
00:11:29.000 Oh, make some extra cash betting this season.
00:11:32.000 Yes.
00:11:32.000 I was like, what's cash betting?
00:11:34.000 Isn't all betting cash betting?
00:11:37.000 That was fun.
00:11:37.000 What'd you think?
00:11:38.000 Great ad.
00:11:39.000 Great ad.
00:11:40.000 Great ad, frankly.
00:11:41.000 Remember I used to have the sound effects?
00:11:44.000 Yeah.
00:11:44.000 That would have hit it out the park.
00:11:45.000 I'll do that next time.
00:11:46.000 You don't have sound effects today?
00:11:48.000 Why?
00:11:48.000 It's too late.
00:11:49.000 We ended the read.
00:11:49.000 Usually when you end the read, I have like a
00:11:53.000 I like when Garrett goes, thanks, BetDSI.
00:11:56.000 Thanks, Deep Discout.
00:11:58.000 Oops, I just said a different company.
00:12:00.000 You just plugged something else.
00:12:03.000 We've got a lot to talk about today.
00:12:04.000 I want to talk to this guy, Walk Don't Run Productions.
00:12:07.000 Have you seen these videos?
00:12:09.000 His videos are so good that I get depressed.
00:12:14.000 Allow me to explain.
00:12:16.000 He'll destroy some myth that's in the mainstream news and it gets so decimated and the myth is so wrong that I just fear for the incurious majority that they won't be looking this up.
00:12:33.000 Like he did this one on the pink tax where
00:12:38.000 Some body waxing company who waxes women?
00:12:40.000 European.
00:12:41.000 They pretend to be feminists, right?
00:12:42.000 It's run by dudes and they say women are spending $1,431 more on the same shit than men every year.
00:12:53.000 And so this guy looks it up.
00:12:55.000 We should make him a lower third when he's on.
00:12:57.000 Because we're live, my man.
00:12:59.000 That's true.
00:13:02.000 And he looks it up and he goes, no, that's not true.
00:13:04.000 Some, some razors are more expensive when they're all shapely and pink, but you don't have to buy that ladies.
00:13:10.000 And they say things like, there's one part of the video where she goes, um, a pink teddy bear and a blue teddy bear are different prices.
00:13:17.000 The pink teddy bears more.
00:13:18.000 That sounds insane, but it's true.
00:13:21.000 It's not true.
00:13:21.000 We just looked it up online.
00:13:23.000 They're all around 20 bucks.
00:13:24.000 The six-foot ones are 160 bucks, but the pink and blue ones are the same price.
00:13:30.000 So she's saying something insane.
00:13:32.000 She's saying it sounds insane.
00:13:34.000 And then saying, but it's true.
00:13:36.000 No, it ain't.
00:13:38.000 So many of these things that we're told that just become buzzfeed facts, you just have to sit to disprove them.
00:13:46.000 Like, uh,
00:13:48.000 Red, like white nationalist terrorism is just as prevalent as jihadist terrorism.
00:13:52.000 You just sit in a chair and you go, hmm, West Side Highway, Bataclan, 9-11, Fort Hood, San Bernardino.
00:14:03.000 You just go through them all and then you think there was Charlottesville, there was, what else?
00:14:09.000 And then they try to cram stuff like Ted Kaczynski, they try to make him a right-wing KKK guy to get their numbers up.
00:14:18.000 Another trick they do is they start on September 12th.
00:14:21.000 You just know that's not true.
00:14:23.000 So when you hear something insane like pink teddy bear, blue teddy bear, pink one's more expensive, go, hmm, that seems insane.
00:14:29.000 I think I'll check it.
00:14:31.000 Nope.
00:14:31.000 They just run with it.
00:14:33.000 And then they offer all these bonuses.
00:14:34.000 So that's his sort of a pinned video if you go to his site, which is, what's it called again?
00:14:40.000 Walk Don't Run Productions?
00:14:43.000 That's correct.
00:14:43.000 No, it's called Don't Walk, Run Productions.
00:14:46.000 Don't Walk, Run Productions.
00:14:47.000 Who puts a comma in their brand?
00:14:50.000 A brave ass dude.
00:14:52.000 Brave ass African American.
00:14:57.000 So here's just a little sweet taste of Andrew.
00:14:59.000 Dude, you just showed the screen.
00:15:01.000 No, I don't know.
00:15:02.000 I was trying to show you the title of his show.
00:15:04.000 Oh, okay.
00:15:05.000 I'm sorry.
00:15:06.000 You know what?
00:15:07.000 It's your birthday.
00:15:08.000 We're allowed to... Hey, hey, it's your birthday!
00:15:11.000 Don't state your feelings loud and don't say when it's your birthday if you're... unless it's 50.
00:15:15.000 50 is a biggie.
00:15:16.000 Yeah.
00:15:18.000 You ask them, how are you measuring the greatness of this economy of yours?
00:15:21.000 And they point to the jobless numbers and the unemployment numbers.
00:15:24.000 Well, yeah, people in America are working.
00:15:26.000 They're working two and three jobs.
00:15:28.000 Where have I heard this one before?
00:15:30.000 Well, unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs.
00:15:35.000 As I have pointed out in a past video, the percentage of American workers who have multiple jobs is at about 5%.
00:15:42.000 This has been the average for the past 10 years.
00:15:44.000 Can you just pause it?
00:15:46.000 Yeah, I figured.
00:15:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:50.000 It's sort of like when you listen to Howard Stern and you go, I wonder what this person looks like?
00:15:54.000 And then you Google them and you see the voice, the face of the voice you were just listening to and you go, yeah, that's about what I figured they look like.
00:16:01.000 Yeah.
00:16:01.000 Like we don't trust our instincts anymore.
00:16:04.000 And two or three jobs, three jobs, a shift is eight hours.
00:16:10.000 There's 24 hours in a day.
00:16:11.000 Eight times three is 24.
00:16:13.000 How do you get to your job and how do you sleep or eat?
00:16:17.000 Three jobs?
00:16:18.000 You mean three part-time jobs?
00:16:20.000 What are you talking about?
00:16:21.000 Oh, you know, there was a, um, remember when I gave you a really dumb answer, uh, for how many hours that Chinese guy you worked with was?
00:16:28.000 And I said 13.
00:16:30.000 You never mentioned the real number.
00:16:32.000 Oh.
00:16:32.000 So what was the real number there?
00:16:33.000 I worked with a Chinese man in Montreal, St.
00:16:37.000 Viator Bagel.
00:16:39.000 He worked, ready for this one?
00:16:42.000 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
00:16:43.000 Get the hell out of here.
00:16:45.000 He was rich.
00:16:45.000 No sleep.
00:16:46.000 Making minimum wage.
00:16:47.000 Here's what he'd do.
00:16:48.000 He'd save up his breaks.
00:16:50.000 He'd just eat bagels as he was making them, like working in the bagel factory.
00:16:53.000 And then he would save up his breaks, and he'd get to like five hours, because you got like a 20-minute break every hour or something, forget the math.
00:17:03.000 And he had a lawn chair upstairs in the break room, and he would just have a five-hour nap, because it was a 24-hour bagel place.
00:17:10.000 He would have a five-hour nap.
00:17:12.000 So he'd get this check every year that was like 200 grand.
00:17:15.000 Jeez.
00:17:18.000 I remember I had some Russian car driver taking me from Fox News one day, and he's like, we work so hard, it's impossible to make money here.
00:17:26.000 You know, they slave drive us here, and I am working 12-hour shift, 13-hour shift.
00:17:32.000 And I'm thinking, wait a minute.
00:17:35.000 I know how much Fox News gets charged for this, and it's really expensive.
00:17:38.000 It's like 150 bucks to drive me home.
00:17:41.000 I assume you get, what, half of that?
00:17:43.000 And then I did the math.
00:17:44.000 I was sitting there with my calculator doing the math.
00:17:46.000 I worked out he makes about 180 grand a year.
00:17:50.000 Work less and be with your family more, dude.
00:17:52.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:17:53.000 That's a crazy, long-winded tangent.
00:17:55.000 Let's go back to Andrew's video.
00:17:57.000 Please, everyone on Earth, watch 100% of his stuff.
00:18:01.000 But Kamala said everyone.
00:18:01.000 AOC said everyone.
00:18:23.000 She's talking about 316 people.
00:18:26.000 Every one of those 316 people can really, yeah.
00:18:29.000 Yeah.
00:18:29.000 She's right about those.
00:18:31.000 4.3 million have one full-time job and one part-time job.
00:18:35.000 They're working two and three jobs.
00:18:37.000 The vast majority of working Americans hold a single job, so talking about people working two and three jobs isn't going to connect with 95% of the workforce.
00:18:47.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:18:51.000 All right, let's talk to Andrew.
00:18:53.000 Can we get him on the phone?
00:18:54.000 I believe.
00:18:54.000 Can we get him on the skip?
00:18:56.000 I believe we can.
00:18:59.000 Frankly, God, I wish I could do a Trump.
00:19:01.000 You could pretty much do it.
00:19:03.000 No.
00:19:03.000 Frankly, I can't do Trump.
00:19:06.000 Not very good at it.
00:19:07.000 For too long.
00:19:08.000 For too long.
00:19:09.000 We haven't been doing a good job.
00:19:11.000 Bad job.
00:19:13.000 Bad job.
00:19:14.000 Real losers.
00:19:15.000 Real losers.
00:19:16.000 Real losers.
00:19:17.000 Frankly, I've got to twist my face almost off.
00:19:21.000 Wouldn't that suck if you were in World War II and you came back alive, but this is your face for the rest of your life?
00:19:29.000 I guess.
00:19:31.000 Oh, can I hold your baby?
00:19:33.000 Oh, it's crying.
00:19:33.000 Forget it.
00:19:34.000 I'm sorry.
00:19:36.000 It's not interested.
00:19:36.000 I love kids, but they're not a fan of me.
00:19:39.000 I give them nightmares.
00:19:41.000 But you know, we're sweet guys and that's the end of the day.
00:19:45.000 Dating sites are not great for me.
00:19:47.000 I try to get a good angle.
00:19:48.000 Or them!
00:19:48.000 I try to go like this, maybe.
00:19:50.000 They're not bad.
00:19:51.000 They're not good for me, but even worse for them.
00:19:54.000 We have Andrew on the line.
00:19:56.000 Andrew, are you there, sir?
00:19:58.000 I think I'm here.
00:20:00.000 Yep.
00:20:00.000 You look here.
00:20:01.000 Nice glasses, by the way.
00:20:03.000 Thank you.
00:20:03.000 I'm wearing them because you're wearing glasses.
00:20:06.000 I like your glasses too.
00:20:07.000 Are you also wearing no bottoms?
00:20:09.000 Because I have no pants on.
00:20:12.000 Uh, no, I'm wearing skinny jeans, so I don't think you'd approve that one.
00:20:15.000 Oh, no.
00:20:16.000 That's like, uh, so ten years ago.
00:20:19.000 Yeah, we call this, the name of the show is Piglet News, and everyone is pantless.
00:20:24.000 Well, I live in Bushwick, I have to kind of play the part, you know.
00:20:28.000 Men look so bad bottomless.
00:20:30.000 Isn't it funny?
00:20:31.000 Women look so good when they just have a shirt on and nothing else, and they look ridiculous when they have jeans and no shirt.
00:20:38.000 Conversely, men look ridiculous with just a shirt, but they look pretty good with, like, when they're a Florida man on the show Cops and he just has jeans on.
00:20:47.000 Looks pretty good.
00:20:48.000 Sure.
00:20:48.000 Yeah, yeah, it's a look.
00:20:50.000 It's a look.
00:20:52.000 So we were talking about the pink tax, and we were talking about the video with the three jobs, and here's what scares me about this.
00:21:00.000 Your videos are great, they're very informative, but I think we're in an epoch of mental obesity
00:21:07.000 And I think people are just too incurious, too lazy to go look up stuff.
00:21:12.000 So you just say a lie, an absurd lie, like most Americans have three jobs.
00:21:18.000 What?
00:21:19.000 And people just write it down.
00:21:21.000 It becomes a fact.
00:21:23.000 Well, it sounds good on paper, I guess.
00:21:28.000 It's like if you're trying to say that the economy's doing terrible and everybody has to have three jobs and work 80, 100 hours a week, then some people are going to fall for that and go, yeah, this economy's terrible.
00:21:42.000 There's people out there that are working three jobs.
00:21:48.000 It's all a tactic.
00:21:49.000 It's a bad tactic.
00:21:50.000 I think it's going to backfire, you know, eventually.
00:21:53.000 Yeah.
00:21:53.000 Well, that's why Trump won is because the people that he was running against hadn't met anyone.
00:21:58.000 Maybe it's this bubble society we have where we don't talk to people.
00:22:02.000 But, you know, I've met probably a million people in my life.
00:22:05.000 I can remember when some guy would have maybe two part-time jobs and then maybe freelance something on the side once a month.
00:22:13.000 But a man with three full-time jobs?
00:22:15.000 I mean, you'd put him in a museum.
00:22:16.000 He'd be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
00:22:19.000 There's not enough hours in the week.
00:22:21.000 Like, who has enough time?
00:22:23.000 You know, when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says, you know, that it's a crime to work 100 hours a week and not be able to feed your kids.
00:22:32.000 Well, first of all,
00:22:34.000 How many kids do you have?
00:22:36.000 How many children do you have that you need to work 100 hours a week?
00:22:41.000 Second, if you're working 100 hours a week, then you're not going to be able to see your kids anyway.
00:22:46.000 And I don't know.
00:22:47.000 It's just bizarre.
00:22:49.000 I don't understand, first of all, why people can blame, well, I have to work so much because I have three children.
00:22:57.000 Like, yeah, because you have three children.
00:23:00.000 It's kind of, you know, be a bachelor.
00:23:02.000 That's the deal.
00:23:03.000 You know, you'll be fine.
00:23:05.000 I remember my dad used to yell that at me and my brother.
00:23:07.000 I paid for this house!
00:23:09.000 I'll put a roof over your head!
00:23:10.000 I'm the one who provides you with food!
00:23:13.000 And we go, yeah, that's the deal.
00:23:14.000 That's what you're supposed to do.
00:23:16.000 That's what you signed up for, dude.
00:23:19.000 But it's just time after time, people don't do the math.
00:23:23.000 Like in that pink tax video you did, they're saying a blue teddy bear is much cheaper than a pink teddy bear.
00:23:28.000 That's not true.
00:23:29.000 But secondly, then buy the blue teddy bear.
00:23:33.000 Or when Obama says women get paid, what, 72 cents on the dollar for men?
00:23:38.000 That's not true.
00:23:39.000 But if it was, then just hire women.
00:23:42.000 You just got cheap labor.
00:23:44.000 You have to pay them three quarters.
00:23:46.000 It's bizarre to me that the President of the United States, who has all of this
00:23:54.000 He has access to government statistics and people who are experts in the field, and he's still saying, oh yeah, women make less than men by a lot.
00:24:06.000 And then he goes, and I don't know why Michelle has to pay more to dry clean a shirt than I do.
00:24:14.000 Ask somebody.
00:24:15.000 You're the president.
00:24:16.000 Just ask somebody.
00:24:18.000 I don't understand.
00:24:21.000 Or just be competent enough to go to the dry cleaners and say, hey, just curious.
00:24:27.000 Just curious why my shirt doesn't cost as much to get cleaned.
00:24:30.000 I can do one better.
00:24:32.000 Sit in a chair and go,
00:24:35.000 Think!
00:24:36.000 Like, hmm.
00:24:38.000 My shirt is pretty rugged.
00:24:39.000 This shirt I'm wearing right now, it's pretty tough.
00:24:41.000 It can survive coffee, wine.
00:24:44.000 It's a tough guy.
00:24:45.000 And at worst case scenario, I'll wash it at home.
00:24:47.000 It will survive.
00:24:49.000 My wife's frilly blouse, you can't throw that around.
00:24:52.000 It gets a stain.
00:24:53.000 I could tear it like this.
00:24:54.000 It's very fragile.
00:24:55.000 That must take... So the subtext I think they're saying is... Did you ever see that Eddie Murphy skit, White Like Me?
00:25:03.000 Oh, I don't think I have.
00:25:04.000 It was on SNL.
00:25:05.000 It was brilliant.
00:25:05.000 We'll show it after this.
00:25:07.000 But, uh, Eddie Murphy makes his face white, and he has a blonde wig, and he starts walking around, and every time there's no black people around, everything is free, and people are dancing, and people are... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:18.000 He's like, take the newspaper.
00:25:19.000 There's no one around.
00:25:19.000 It's free.
00:25:20.000 Take it.
00:25:20.000 Gives him his money back.
00:25:22.000 The conceit with the dry cleaning thing is that it's just man land.
00:25:27.000 And, uh, you show up with your shirts like, what's up, dude?
00:25:30.000 Yeah, yeah, I'll do these for, like, two bucks.
00:25:32.000 And then a woman shows up and you're like, oh great, another bitch is here.
00:25:37.000 Uh, it's 50 bucks.
00:25:39.000 Like, what world are you talking about?
00:25:42.000 I think men tend to get their stuff dry cleaned anyway because they also have a suit.
00:25:47.000 You can't throw a suit jacket in the washer and dryer, but you can do it with your cotton, your tough cotton shirt.
00:25:55.000 So it's like, you know what?
00:25:56.000 I'm going to the dry cleaners anyway, dropping them off my jacket and pants.
00:26:01.000 Might as well just give them the shirts too.
00:26:03.000 Less work for me.
00:26:04.000 Time is money.
00:26:05.000 We're, you know, we're raised to see men as these oppressive, you know, patriarchs.
00:26:12.000 And I was brainwashed that way too.
00:26:13.000 And I remember when I first had kids, I saw a dad picking up his two girls from figure skating, and he's got all their frilly tutus with him and stuff.
00:26:22.000 And I realized, wait a minute.
00:26:25.000 Men love their daughters.
00:26:26.000 Men are sweeties.
00:26:27.000 Men will happily get involved in figure skating.
00:26:30.000 I don't know why we're painted to be the bad guys, because we're absolute adorable sweethearts.
00:26:37.000 Us men.
00:26:41.000 Oh yeah, this is funny.
00:26:43.000 Yeah, this is classic.
00:26:46.000 The guy who handed him the money is the guy who wrote the bit, by the way.
00:26:49.000 Well, sorry, my questions are really just me talking on a soapbox, but I wanted to ask you if we'll ever figure out what the motive is.
00:27:00.000 When Obama said that,
00:27:02.000 I think a little bit of A and a little bit of B. I think in her world, yes.
00:27:06.000 I think that she lives in a bubble.
00:27:32.000 When she goes to Jackson Heights or she goes to the Bronx and she sees all of these illegal immigrants who are working two and three jobs, probably not full-time jobs anyway.
00:27:44.000 And they're working hard to A, feed their gigantic families, and B, to send money back to their home countries.
00:27:52.000 Of course they need to make a lot of money.
00:27:54.000 Of course they're gonna be working.
00:27:55.000 We're good to go.
00:28:17.000 She talks to people here in probably poor neighborhoods who are driving an Uber in a poor neighborhood and complaining that they're not making a lot of money.
00:28:26.000 On the other hand, when I went to San Francisco back in October, all I did was ride Lyft and Uber and I kept asking, I said, how are you guys doing?
00:28:38.000 And they're like, we're doing really good.
00:28:40.000 Like this is, you know, Salesforce is here.
00:28:43.000 You see that Salesforce building here?
00:28:46.000 That's where we're making all of our money.
00:28:48.000 So, I think it really depends.
00:28:50.000 Like, fine, if you're going to live in rural Pennsylvania, you're probably not going to make a lot of money driving an Uber, but, you know, in a city, you know, in the middle of Manhattan, you're probably going to do fine.
00:29:01.000 You're probably going to be able to buy a custom license plate, you know, get a really nice car if you're going to be in the car all day.
00:29:10.000 I don't know.
00:29:13.000 I think that she
00:29:17.000 I don't know if she's ignorant or not.
00:29:18.000 I think that she, it's part of her bubble and also part of the talking points that, like, the Justice Democrats give her, like, say this, do this, you know, be this.
00:29:26.000 It might be one of those things that you just let yourself believe in but you don't believe in it, like astrology.
00:29:32.000 Women seem to love astrology, but I have a feeling if you did heroin with them or something was really important, like, your son's gonna be really sick if you follow this stupid thing.
00:29:42.000 She'll go, oh yeah, yeah, that was bullshit.
00:29:44.000 Or on heroin she'd be like, no, I don't really believe it.
00:29:47.000 It's just kind of a fun thing.
00:29:50.000 And I think if you gave AOC a big line of smack, she'd go, yeah, I know a lot of people don't have three jobs.
00:29:57.000 It's just, it's just something that sounds good.
00:30:01.000 It's for the greater good.
00:30:04.000 Well, I mean, Trump, uh, Trump said at his rally last night that,
00:30:10.000 These four, the squad or the four horse women of the apocalypse, whatever you want to call it, that they don't have anything nice to say.
00:30:18.000 And, and he's right.
00:30:20.000 When have you, she couldn't go around and go, yeah, you know, people are doing okay.
00:30:24.000 We're doing better than a lot of other countries.
00:30:27.000 You know, there's things to improve on.
00:30:29.000 Absolutely.
00:30:30.000 But
00:30:30.000 You know, we're alright.
00:30:32.000 Racism isn't... People aren't being... Like when Cory Booker and Kamala Harris come out with an anti-lynching bill, it's like, who's getting lynched?
00:30:42.000 When was the last time you were lynched?
00:30:43.000 And then when Jesse Smollett... Wait, are you saying you're for lynching?
00:30:47.000 Because if you're against the bill, that means you're pro-lynching.
00:30:52.000 You got me.
00:30:53.000 Yeah, they paint this evil, racist, Nazi, sexist, homophobic, transphobic view of America, and you go, wow, your worldview, your national view is really dark.
00:31:04.000 Like, what a shitty life you have if you think the KKK is looming on every corner.
00:31:09.000 You've made your life shitty.
00:31:13.000 It's bizarre.
00:31:16.000 It just blows my mind that we're easily living in the greatest country in the world.
00:31:22.000 The greatest country in the world!
00:31:24.000 And the only way that some people feel that they're going to stay in power or connect with people is to say,
00:31:35.000 We're doing awful.
00:31:36.000 It's terrible.
00:31:37.000 When Elizabeth Warren said, she was asked a question, he said, 60% of Democrats think that the economy's fine.
00:31:46.000 She's like, no.
00:31:48.000 Yeah, she tells them they're wrong.
00:31:50.000 No, you're wrong.
00:31:52.000 Unemployment is really bad.
00:31:53.000 Andrew, we're out of time here.
00:31:54.000 Thanks for coming on the show, and I implore everyone on earth to watch all of your videos, and you will not only learn a lot, but you'll see how incredibly dishonest the mainstream media and mainstream politicians have become.
00:32:11.000 Well, I agree with you.
00:32:12.000 I think everybody should watch my videos, too.
00:32:15.000 But thank you for having me on.
00:32:16.000 It was a pleasure.
00:32:17.000 Let's have you back soon.
00:32:18.000 Cheers, buddy.
00:32:19.000 All right.
00:32:20.000 Bye bye.
00:32:20.000 Do you ever forget how to say goodbye?
00:32:26.000 No, that's not something that I've done.
00:32:30.000 I've done that.
00:32:31.000 I didn't there.
00:32:31.000 But sometimes I just lose a skill.
00:32:35.000 Yeah.
00:32:35.000 Like I'll be on the phone and I'll be, okay, yeah, we'll see.
00:32:39.000 Bye.
00:32:40.000 Yeah.
00:32:41.000 And that was too soon.
00:32:42.000 Or the other day I was parking by the studio.
00:32:45.000 I came back to get something late at night and there was parking and I couldn't parallel park.
00:32:51.000 You should have seen the parallel park.
00:32:52.000 It was the worst.
00:32:53.000 It was a woman's parallel park.
00:32:55.000 That's how bad it was.
00:32:57.000 Ouch.
00:32:57.000 I just sort of went in and then by the time I lined up I was like three feet from the curb and I used to be the king of parallel parking.
00:33:03.000 I could like squeeze in so both bumpers were touching another car.
00:33:07.000 Like Ace Ventura when nature calls it, like, like a glove, just.
00:33:13.000 I'm not familiar with Ace Ventura references.
00:33:15.000 Say what?
00:33:18.000 Some people are out there and they're going to be happy.
00:33:22.000 We have a lot of news to cover today, and we are taking calls eventually, but I want to get this news out of the way.
00:33:28.000 First of all, the first thing I want to cover is there was a priest, and we priest bash all the time in this culture, and this poor bastard is out there working his ass off trying to get satanic demons out of people, which can't be easy.
00:33:45.000 We've seen the movie The Exorcist.
00:33:46.000 It involves a lot of stuff.
00:33:47.000 You get barfed on.
00:33:49.000 You get attacked.
00:33:50.000 Yep.
00:33:51.000 Cuss words.
00:33:53.000 Cuss words.
00:33:54.000 I sent you this in a later email because I thought of it after.
00:33:56.000 I saw you had it up, though.
00:33:58.000 This guy is doing everything he can to help get demons out of people, including... Will you find it, you turd?
00:34:08.000 Yes.
00:34:09.000 You've already had it up, and you keep going to the original... Oh, I got it.
00:34:12.000 It's a tweet.
00:34:13.000 Oh, that only took 20 seconds.
00:34:18.000 Sometimes, this includes having to blow dudes.
00:34:21.000 Now, I'm not gay, so that's pretty much one of the worst things I could think of doing, besides like eating poo.
00:34:28.000 No offense, gays, just not my bag.
00:34:30.000 I'm sure you feel the same way about eating pussy.
00:34:33.000 But this poor bastard swallows his pride, and New Jersey Presbyterian minister accused of using oral sex to suck out men's evil during ritual exorcisms.
00:34:45.000 And he's the bad guy?
00:34:46.000 Is there a video?
00:34:48.000 Can we see the video, please?
00:34:51.000 The video is available on YouPorn.
00:34:54.000 Click on that link, though.
00:34:54.000 Does it say anything else?
00:34:55.000 I'm feeling a bit possessed.
00:34:58.000 Honey, bad news.
00:34:59.000 I've been possessed.
00:35:02.000 I need to go to Joe.
00:35:04.000 That's just really unfair.
00:35:06.000 Joe Blow.
00:35:06.000 Joe Blow.
00:35:07.000 Joe my God.
00:35:09.000 Sucks the demons out.
00:35:10.000 Wait a minute, who fell for this?
00:35:12.000 If this is little kids, then this joke is no longer funny and I totally regret doing it.
00:35:18.000 Okay, now I'm scared.
00:35:21.000 If they were like eight years old, this is the worst show in the history of man.
00:35:25.000 Yeah, we might have to go back in time to hit the dump button.
00:35:30.000 Evil spirits, Native American exorcism rituals, gemstones, oral sex to extract evil spirits from men undergoing crisis in their lives.
00:35:36.000 Oh, men.
00:35:37.000 Okay, good.
00:35:38.000 Okay.
00:35:40.000 Young man, I gotta do a little more.
00:35:41.000 I mean, we sat and prepared for this show for like five hours.
00:35:44.000 I spent so much time this morning preparing for this show and it was, you wouldn't have believed how stupid it was.
00:35:52.000 Let me just tell you about my trip in the rabbit hole.
00:35:54.000 I was thinking, what kind of chicks do I like?
00:35:58.000 Maybe I'll research that.
00:35:59.000 That's the beauty of being your own boss.
00:36:01.000 Today, Gavin, your job is to try to find a country with your favorite types of chicks in them.
00:36:05.000 And then I was thinking, I kind of like Eastern Europe, where it's sort of is touching China.
00:36:13.000 You know, like Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan and that kind of stuff?
00:36:17.000 Where like the gyros come from?
00:36:18.000 Yeah, that place.
00:36:19.000 The safe stands, I think they're called.
00:36:22.000 We'll be talking about unsafe stands shortly.
00:36:24.000 And then I'm looking up
00:36:27.000 Krizegstan!
00:36:28.000 Maybe I like those kind of chicks.
00:36:30.000 And then I find some feminist that, look how terrible her boobs are.
00:36:35.000 Those are the deal-breaker boobs.
00:36:37.000 There's two deal-breakers men have, and they don't include cankles, believe it or not.
00:36:40.000 It's very, very thinning hair, which you can fix.
00:36:44.000 Although it's kind of duplicitous.
00:36:45.000 If you are a woman who has very thin hair, then some guy marries you after you get plugs, and then he has a girl and she's got thin hair.
00:36:52.000 You kind of cheated him.
00:36:53.000 I got a way to fix it.
00:36:54.000 Part of attraction is the babies you're gonna make.
00:36:56.000 That's what a part of beauty is.
00:37:00.000 Um, that's why no one's attracted to hunks who have terminal cancer.
00:37:03.000 Do you know what my fix is?
00:37:05.000 What?
00:37:06.000 Your Uber's outside.
00:37:08.000 Beat it.
00:37:09.000 Thin hair?
00:37:10.000 Yeah.
00:37:13.000 And those boobs have no meat in them.
00:37:15.000 They're just empty pancakes.
00:37:17.000 Yeah.
00:37:17.000 It's like God forgot to put your presents in your stockings on December 24th.
00:37:26.000 You're missing your stocking stuffers.
00:37:27.000 That's a naughty list stocking.
00:37:29.000 You got two socks lying there.
00:37:32.000 Anyway, you'll notice that a lot of socialists are people who are broke and they want free stuff.
00:37:37.000 And you'll notice a lot of feminists are ugly and have no tits and they don't like beauty standards.
00:37:43.000 They want to have a world where, say, pancakes are attractive.
00:37:46.000 So this woman is bro pancake tits for no reason.
00:37:51.000 And this is their music in Kyrgyzstan.
00:37:56.000 Feminist anthems in Kyrgyzstan.
00:37:58.000 Look, she looks the same as feminists here.
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:01.000 It's a type of face.
00:38:03.000 It's a fat person, really.
00:38:08.000 She's called the Beyonce of Kyrgyzstan.
00:38:15.000 Everywhere outside of the West sucks.
00:38:18.000 Your food sucks, your music sucks, and it's not a racist thing, you'll be happy to hear.
00:38:23.000 Because Russia is in the East, it's all white, and it blows.
00:38:30.000 It blows harder than a priest trying to exorcise demons from your urethra.
00:38:36.000 No laugh on that one?
00:38:37.000 I was just thinking of... Yeah, and I'm the Jean-Claude Van Damme of Guam.
00:38:43.000 And, uh... So just... What did you say?
00:38:45.000 Something about urethra.
00:38:47.000 I said Russia blows harder than a priest trying to get demons out of your urethra.
00:38:52.000 I get it.
00:38:53.000 Okay, good.
00:38:54.000 Folks at home, I'm sorry you had to hear a joke twice, but someone who works here on the show doesn't watch the show that he's on.
00:39:01.000 I was coming up with a zinger.
00:39:02.000 Yeah, it was great.
00:39:04.000 He let a zinger die while trying to save a zinger.
00:39:09.000 Anyway, music sucks.
00:39:11.000 And so then I start looking at Uyghur woman.
00:39:14.000 That's another country around there.
00:39:16.000 There's Chinese Muslims, apparently, and China's human rights.
00:39:20.000 Look, look, everyone loves Muslims here.
00:39:22.000 If you really love Muslims, check in on China.
00:39:24.000 They're murdering Muslims there and stealing their fucking organs.
00:39:29.000 Just robbing livers left and right.
00:39:31.000 Just taking a Muslim off the streets, putting him in a cell and taking his liver out.
00:39:36.000 That's China.
00:39:37.000 China sucks.
00:39:39.000 Hey, social justice warriors, you want to see some social injustice?
00:39:42.000 Check out the Orient.
00:39:45.000 It is hell.
00:39:46.000 Human life has no value.
00:39:48.000 Remember there was that art display?
00:39:50.000 Bodies?
00:39:52.000 Oh yes.
00:39:53.000 I went there with my wife and it's like bodies cut in half and stuff and you can see like what it looks like in an eyeball or how about a cross-cut section of someone you know vertically so you get to see the skull and everything and I'm looking at these bodies going these are all Asians.
00:40:10.000 That's kind of a coincidence.
00:40:12.000 Then it comes out that we don't really know the origin
00:40:15.000 Of these bodies at the body display.
00:40:19.000 I think China just grabbed a bunch of human beings, cut them up into bits, and then I'm looking at it going, ah, you could have just used plasticine.
00:40:28.000 Like, I don't need to see actual human bones with actual human eyeballs in them.
00:40:33.000 Just use, go to the taxidermist and get some wolf eyeballs.
00:40:38.000 Stick those in.
00:40:39.000 What are you doing?
00:40:40.000 I'm gonna make you a star.
00:40:43.000 I have an idea.
00:40:44.000 Let's make a bunch of bodies so people can see what it looks like when a pregnant woman has her baby ripped out.
00:40:50.000 And then we'll put her entrails there.
00:40:52.000 Okay, where are we going to get them?
00:40:53.000 I don't know.
00:40:54.000 You?
00:40:56.000 What?
00:40:56.000 No, I don't want to.
00:40:57.000 Too late.
00:40:57.000 Get him.
00:40:58.000 Get him.
00:40:59.000 Help!
00:40:59.000 Help!
00:41:05.000 So that's all real, huh?
00:41:07.000 That man was screaming, I am a teacher, goodbye, I am a vegetarian.
00:41:11.000 Vegetarian.
00:41:13.000 Targaryen.
00:41:14.000 I got some dragons on the Coniscarion.
00:41:17.000 That's just a thing, huh?
00:41:18.000 I watched a second of that Han Solo movie last night with my boy because I was bored of being a good dad.
00:41:24.000 And it's past his bedtime.
00:41:26.000 Wait, Maj Tor is calling in.
00:41:29.000 No, we're doing a show.
00:41:35.000 Should we take the call?
00:41:35.000 Why don't we take the call?
00:41:36.000 Alright.
00:41:38.000 I'm not very spontaneous.
00:41:40.000 Oh.
00:41:40.000 Okay, just, he hung up.
00:41:43.000 Oh.
00:41:44.000 I guess he heard that and he, we scared him off.
00:41:46.000 Sorry, Madge.
00:41:48.000 Uh, we're on a roll.
00:41:49.000 But I would love to talk to you, and I regret not taking your call.
00:41:52.000 That's, there's a moral to there, by the way.
00:41:54.000 The moral to that story is always say yes.
00:41:56.000 You always regret saying no.
00:41:58.000 Your friend calls you, hey, you wanna come on my, on my boat tonight?
00:42:00.000 Now your first instinct is like, nah, I don't know.
00:42:03.000 Say yes!
00:42:04.000 Can I borrow your car tonight?
00:42:06.000 Yes!
00:42:08.000 Sick!
00:42:09.000 Happy birthday to me!
00:42:13.000 I'm giving you the gift of generosity.
00:42:16.000 And when you're on the plane or somewhere and someone goes, you want a macadamia nut?
00:42:19.000 Say yes.
00:42:21.000 Even though your first instinct is like, I don't even know what that is really.
00:42:24.000 Say yes.
00:42:25.000 It's a gesture.
00:42:25.000 It's an exchange.
00:42:27.000 That's what life is.
00:42:28.000 Experience.
00:42:29.000 In fact, I think these politicians are getting away with stupid lies because people don't experience things.
00:42:34.000 So they don't go, really?
00:42:35.000 I talk to people everywhere I go.
00:42:37.000 At the bar.
00:42:38.000 I always ask people, how's business?
00:42:40.000 Whenever I buy anything and I'm like bringing my six pack to the front, how's business?
00:42:45.000 That's a good way to gauge the economy.
00:42:46.000 They always say good, except yellow cab drivers.
00:42:49.000 They're not having a good time, but fuck them.
00:42:51.000 A little racist.
00:42:51.000 That was a stupid plan that we had.
00:42:54.000 We had one Israeli dude who owned all the taxi medallions in all of New York City, and then with his monopoly, he kept raising the price, raising the price, until they were worth a million dollars.
00:43:05.000 How the hell does a cab driver pay off a million dollar medallion?
00:43:08.000 Now, thanks to Uber and Lyft, I think they're down to like,
00:43:13.000 50 grand?
00:43:14.000 But people bought- they're still paying off their medallions.
00:43:17.000 Yeah.
00:43:17.000 When they bought- Jesus.
00:43:18.000 Well, they just quit.
00:43:19.000 Oh, by the way, Maj says happy born day.
00:43:21.000 Oh.
00:43:24.000 Here's another reason why I said no, because he probably thought he was calling me personally.
00:43:28.000 Oh, okay.
00:43:29.000 And so he could be like, I don't know, rolling a joint or doing something illegal.
00:43:34.000 And here I am putting him on blast.
00:43:35.000 That's really why I was thinking.
00:43:37.000 But stop communicating with people and saying, hey, thanks.
00:43:41.000 Okay.
00:43:41.000 And get back to work, you dunce.
00:43:43.000 Sorry.
00:43:44.000 Did you show any of the body stuff?
00:43:45.000 You did, right?
00:43:45.000 Yes, I did.
00:43:46.000 Okay, so anyway, this is still on this ridiculous tangent.
00:43:49.000 I went down a rabbit hole and now I'm dragging you down it like Alice in Wonderland.
00:43:54.000 So I start looking up Uyghur women.
00:43:57.000 Let's look at those.
00:43:59.000 What race are they?
00:44:00.000 So I'm looking at them and I'm thinking, what would it be like to be married to them?
00:44:04.000 I think the accent would get on my nerves.
00:44:06.000 Also, them having nothing in common with you.
00:44:08.000 They don't know what Happy Days is.
00:44:10.000 Probably never even seen Star Wars.
00:44:11.000 Like, what are you going to joke about?
00:44:13.000 Yeah, it tends to be a bummer.
00:44:14.000 So we're scrolling down.
00:44:15.000 Keep scrolling down.
00:44:16.000 Oh, they're pretty.
00:44:17.000 Oh, she's a knockout.
00:44:18.000 So I'm looking at them.
00:44:19.000 I'm going, oh, so that this country makes a lot of knockouts, right?
00:44:22.000 They make Koreans.
00:44:23.000 That's like a Korean, basically.
00:44:24.000 Yeah.
00:44:24.000 Keep going.
00:44:25.000 Oh, she's she's now.
00:44:27.000 No, thanks.
00:44:28.000 Keep going.
00:44:28.000 Keep going.
00:44:29.000 Keep going.
00:44:30.000 Keep going.
00:44:30.000 Keep going.
00:44:31.000 Keep going.
00:44:32.000 Keep going.
00:44:33.000 Stop.
00:44:35.000 Then this nightmare appears.
00:44:37.000 This is the weirdest I've felt in a long time.
00:44:41.000 And folks just hearing the audio podcast, I told you to subscribe to freespeech.tv.
00:44:44.000 I'm not putting this one on YouTube.
00:44:46.000 What?
00:44:46.000 This face makes my stomach like, I want to just kill her.
00:44:51.000 Happy birthday to you.
00:44:53.000 She's the boogeyman.
00:44:55.000 If she's under your bed, I'm just as scared as anything on Monsters, Inc.
00:44:59.000 She should work for Monsters, Inc.
00:45:01.000 Well, isn't her face... doesn't it give you the heebie-jeebies?
00:45:04.000 Something about it.
00:45:06.000 Do you feel the same way as me?
00:45:07.000 Yeah, because you see her eyes?
00:45:08.000 They look like there's parentheses.
00:45:10.000 Like, side note, eyeballs.
00:45:12.000 There's that.
00:45:13.000 Top parentheses, bottom parentheses.
00:45:14.000 The fact that her chin is one millimeter long.
00:45:17.000 Yeah.
00:45:17.000 And her weird eight mile long nose.
00:45:19.000 The nose is long.
00:45:20.000 I never noticed that.
00:45:21.000 I've never been more scared of a person.
00:45:23.000 Like, I would rather date some, a burn victim.
00:45:26.000 Yeah, her thumb's kind of creepy too.
00:45:28.000 There's something.
00:45:29.000 Ew, it's really big.
00:45:30.000 Yeah, there's a big, and then the nail's small.
00:45:31.000 It's like a man.
00:45:32.000 It's like my thumb.
00:45:33.000 Yeah.
00:45:33.000 No, it's bigger than my thumb.
00:45:35.000 My thumb.
00:45:36.000 My thumb.
00:45:37.000 My pillow.
00:45:38.000 Disadventurous thumb.
00:45:41.000 Um.
00:45:42.000 And then I'm just thinking, yeah, you are kind of pretty, you girls, but just as I predicted, you suck.
00:45:48.000 I saw this video yesterday that was talking about a tattoo studio that discovered they had a Proud Boy working there, and they immediately fired him.
00:45:58.000 And he said, I didn't know he was a Proud Boy.
00:46:00.000 I'm so glad I got rid of him.
00:46:01.000 And then in the same news piece, they don't call them racists, thank God, but they also say, this group is against racial guilt,
00:46:12.000 And thinks the West is the best.
00:46:15.000 That's why a guy got fired?
00:46:18.000 They didn't even say what race.
00:46:19.000 So if you don't feel terrible about your race and you think the West is the best, then you're fired.
00:46:26.000 What kind of clown world is that?
00:46:29.000 But I'm not racist.
00:46:30.000 Yeah, that doesn't matter.
00:46:31.000 Do you hate white people?
00:46:32.000 Well, I don't think I should feel bad.
00:46:33.000 I'm 20.
00:46:34.000 What did I do?
00:46:35.000 You're fired.
00:46:36.000 Can you imagine a black person getting fired for not being guilty?
00:46:40.000 And the West is the best.
00:46:42.000 Have you seen this freak show we've been on?
00:46:44.000 I just showed you a monster from Uyghur.
00:46:48.000 And then I look at this video of Kyrgyzstan and it's drone footage.
00:46:56.000 So this is the very best they have to offer, right?
00:46:58.000 And they're showing you Kyrgyzstan and I just look at it go, yep, your country sucks.
00:47:06.000 We got so much cooler shit here.
00:47:08.000 Have you checked out the Rockies?
00:47:09.000 You checked out the Bonneville Salt Flats?
00:47:12.000 Or, you know, Arizona, Sedona with these weird rock formations?
00:47:16.000 Or the Dells in Wisconsin?
00:47:18.000 Or even just the forests in upstate New York.
00:47:21.000 They're breathtaking.
00:47:23.000 Look at all this crap.
00:47:24.000 Just a bunch of shrubs.
00:47:27.000 They ain't got no amber waves of green.
00:47:28.000 Yeah, like we have that, but with more grass.
00:47:32.000 We have everything you have to offer, but not with this, like, dead lawn.
00:47:37.000 Like, look at that.
00:47:37.000 There's all these patches.
00:47:38.000 Your nature's patchy, Kyrgyzstan.
00:47:42.000 It's like a balding landscape.
00:47:43.000 Look at that.
00:47:43.000 Look at that shithole.
00:47:45.000 It's a shithole.
00:47:46.000 Do you want to be there?
00:47:47.000 And it's probably nine billion degrees.
00:47:49.000 There's one beach with, like, rotten water.
00:47:51.000 Oh, look at this.
00:47:52.000 The tower.
00:47:52.000 What's that called?
00:47:53.000 Burana Tower.
00:47:54.000 It's just a crappy smokestack with swastika bricks.
00:47:57.000 That's the Taranaburk of towers.
00:47:59.000 Ooh, that's pretty nice.
00:48:00.000 Ooh, a lake.
00:48:02.000 It's a lake.
00:48:03.000 Why are you lake?
00:48:06.000 Look some wild horses.
00:48:07.000 We got wild horses out the wazoo.
00:48:09.000 We got that's kind of a cool waterfall.
00:48:11.000 Yeah, but we got all that Yeah, it looks like California or something.
00:48:15.000 That's okay Yeah, so there's like two or three okay shots, and we all don't travel burn your passport the world sucks everywhere sucks even Europe sucks
00:48:29.000 Europe's been ruined.
00:48:32.000 And I'm using all of this to segue...
00:48:34.000 To a Somalian journalist.
00:48:36.000 This is the crux of the show.
00:48:39.000 The title is about the cops coming to my door.
00:48:42.000 But the crux of the show is this article.
00:48:45.000 By the way, I cannot say enough about Paul Joseph Watson's site, Summit News.
00:48:50.000 It is the best.
00:48:51.000 Great stories.
00:48:51.000 He's a great writer.
00:48:52.000 Short and sweet.
00:48:54.000 The opposite of chick writing that seems to go on and on and on.
00:48:57.000 Journalist travels to Ilhan Omar's homeland to prove Somalia's beautiful.
00:49:02.000 Promptly gets killed by terrorists.
00:49:06.000 They're always Canadian, these people who say, oh yeah, you think the Middle East is dangerous?
00:49:10.000 Watch this.
00:49:11.000 And then they go there and get promptly killed, or raped, or kidnapped, or murdered.
00:49:15.000 But it's a trend, and it's people getting killed by leftist propaganda.
00:49:21.000 So these myths that they say where they go, the West isn't the best, you're fired if you think the West is the best.
00:49:27.000 Somalia, for example, is heaven on earth.
00:49:30.000 And we have a Somalian congresswoman come here and say, this place sucks.
00:49:34.000 America blows.
00:49:35.000 We need to impeach the president because he's ruining this place.
00:49:38.000 I come from the wonderful country of Somalia.
00:49:44.000 Go back to that article.
00:49:45.000 So she goes there and she's saying, scroll down.
00:49:49.000 She's like, oh, this is Somalian tea.
00:49:51.000 Here's some Somalian fishermen.
00:49:52.000 It's so safe here.
00:49:53.000 There's so many myths.
00:49:54.000 Look, she shows that tea.
00:49:56.000 Go back up.
00:49:58.000 This tea is very strong.
00:49:59.000 I didn't know that this area of Somalia has their own tea.
00:50:02.000 Yeah, it's strong so people can stay awake all night and not get killed by terrorists.
00:50:06.000 And then scroll down, boom, she's dead.
00:50:09.000 Fudge.
00:50:10.000 Just ashes.
00:50:13.000 And so they're having a ceremony for her in Toronto to celebrate her life and all her hard work trying to prove lies like Somalia is safe.
00:50:25.000 No, I'm not celebrating your work.
00:50:27.000 Your work sucks.
00:50:27.000 Somalia sucks.
00:50:30.000 That could be harming other people too if you happen to survive going to a nice place.
00:50:34.000 This is my point.
00:50:35.000 Socialism is blasphemy.
00:50:37.000 I don't know how many priests try to suck it out of you.
00:50:41.000 Socialism is against God and what they do is for the greater good they tell lies like
00:50:48.000 People have three jobs, or women make less than men for the same work, or there's a pink tax that women have to pay more for things that men get.
00:50:59.000 The exact same thing will be blue and pink, and the blue one's cheaper.
00:51:02.000 That's just a lie.
00:51:03.000 And you go, oh well, it's just a silly little lie to help sell products.
00:51:07.000 No, these lies have serious ramifications.
00:51:09.000 And the lie that the West is not the best, and America sucks, and it's just as good as Somalia, just got a woman killed.
00:51:18.000 And then that leads us to a bunch of these cases I was thinking of.
00:51:22.000 And please call in and tell me more.
00:51:24.000 But it's kind of a tricky thing because there's people going there to prove that the place is safe.
00:51:31.000 And then there's people who admit it sucks and they go there for humanitarian reasons.
00:51:36.000 Different story.
00:51:38.000 But let's start with the more obvious one.
00:51:39.000 So Edith Blase.
00:51:42.000 Is that her name?
00:51:43.000 Yep.
00:51:45.000 Now, she's from Sherbrooke, Montreal, where I'm from.
00:51:47.000 I'm from Montreal, but not Sherbrooke.
00:51:48.000 Sherbrooke is a weird town.
00:51:50.000 It's like a suburb of Montreal, but it's all English, which is as weird as having a French suburb in your town.
00:51:56.000 It's one of the last enclaves where you could be unilingual English in a totally French province where it's actually illegal to have English signs.
00:52:05.000 They have language police in Quebec.
00:52:07.000 I should do a whole thing on how weird that is.
00:52:10.000 Anyway, Her and her stupid boyfriend go on a bicycle trip to show the world that the Middle East is safe.
00:52:20.000 Is that it?
00:52:21.000 Where did she get killed?
00:52:23.000 Um, that would be Mollie?
00:52:24.000 Mollie.
00:52:24.000 Oh, she was kidnapped and taken to Mollie.
00:52:26.000 Oh, I think she might be alive still, actually.
00:52:28.000 Really?
00:52:28.000 Yeah, she goes on a bike trip to show you how safe Mollie is, and she's just been kidnapped.
00:52:33.000 From West Africa, taken to Mollie.
00:52:35.000 Yeah.
00:52:35.000 She's in West Africa.
00:52:37.000 People think Africa's dangerous.
00:52:40.000 You know, people think it's homophobic, the way they always say, why are you gay?
00:52:45.000 They eat the poo-poo.
00:52:46.000 The homosexuals eat the poo-poo.
00:52:49.000 So she goes there to prove a
00:52:52.000 A myth is false, and she gets abducted, is likely being raped right now, and will likely be killed because she wanted to prove a lie.
00:53:05.000 That it's a safe place to go.
00:53:07.000 Again, another Canadian.
00:53:09.000 And the perfect example of this, of course, is Pippa Becka.
00:53:13.000 I can't remember if, I think she's Italian.
00:53:15.000 I think she's Northern Italian.
00:53:17.000 So she dresses up.
00:53:19.000 She's so convinced that the Middle East is safe, Turkey, I think specifically, that she wears a wedding dress and hitchhikes to Turkey to show everyone.
00:53:32.000 See, look, I'm not harmed.
00:53:34.000 Not only did she get raped, but they burned her body and dismembered her, I believe.
00:53:41.000 So when they discover her, they find remnants of the wedding dress, they find a singed torso that had been raped.
00:53:47.000 Peppa Becca, you once say, and liberals always do this, they end up proving the exact thing they're going, they're trying to disprove.
00:53:55.000 I just remembered another one.
00:53:56.000 That chick, I'm not sure if this counts, that Antifa chick in DC,
00:54:01.000 She, look her up, she met a guy, some Turkish dude or something, Muslim, remember her?
00:54:06.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:07.000 And he takes her back to, I don't know, Turkey or somewhere, maybe it was Iran, and he proceeds to beat the shit out of her on a regular basis.
00:54:16.000 And so she reports it to the police, who then arrest her for being a lippy bitch, because she's in the most sexist place on earth.
00:54:24.000 She was the one that met with Richard Spencer, right?
00:54:26.000 Yep, on an ABC show.
00:54:30.000 She also doxes everyone and what the hell's her name again?
00:54:35.000 She's got half her head shaved.
00:54:36.000 I think she's the head of D.C.
00:54:38.000 Antifa.
00:54:39.000 And she comes back from that experience in the Middle East going, I hate American white men.
00:54:45.000 They're sexist.
00:54:47.000 What?
00:54:48.000 Didn't you just get?
00:54:49.000 Lucy McAuley.
00:54:50.000 Lacey McAuley.
00:54:51.000 Lacey McAuley.
00:54:52.000 That's her.
00:54:54.000 So sometimes these people come out of this experience
00:54:57.000 More steadfast in their crazy beliefs, if they don't get raped and killed first.
00:55:03.000 There was a study done a couple years ago that said, when people are confronted with data that contradicts their beliefs, they become more steadfast in their beliefs.
00:55:14.000 Sort of like these death cults that say the world's gonna end on August 29th, and then September 1st rolls around, you go, well, I guess you guys are disbanding now.
00:55:20.000 They go, no, now there's more of us.
00:55:22.000 We got a bunch of new followers.
00:55:24.000 You go, okay, I officially give up on you.
00:55:28.000 I officially give up on Lacey McCauley.
00:55:30.000 I tried to get her on my show once.
00:55:32.000 Oh yeah?
00:55:32.000 But she doesn't give a platform to genocide.
00:55:37.000 Do you understand that?
00:55:38.000 Want me to explain that to you?
00:55:39.000 Well, because you're a genocide guy.
00:55:41.000 Because if you're a Trump guy, you don't just hate trans and people of color, you want them all to die.
00:55:48.000 So your agenda involves concentration camps, ethnic cleansing.
00:55:53.000 So half the country wants to have these giant factories where trans people are just like lining up and then falling off an assembly line into a vat of lava like a Pink Floyd video.
00:56:05.000 And, she goes farther, I don't want to give you a platform and justify you.
00:56:09.000 Why don't you first figure out if your theory is true or not?
00:56:13.000 There she is.
00:56:14.000 Do you have the article?
00:56:16.000 That's her on your show now.
00:56:16.000 Yeah, anti-Trump protester moves to Turkey.
00:56:19.000 I think she ended up in jail over there.
00:56:22.000 Because slapping the shit out of a bitch is not esoteric there, it's part of their culture.
00:56:27.000 So she went to complain and then she went to jail.
00:56:29.000 Yeah.
00:56:30.000 Right, right.
00:56:32.000 And she didn't come out of it with any kind of different thing.
00:56:34.000 Now here's an example.
00:56:36.000 This is similar, but it's not exactly the same.
00:56:39.000 Lara Logan.
00:56:40.000 Remember her?
00:56:41.000 Not Wolverine's daughter.
00:56:43.000 This is farther down on the list, dude.
00:56:45.000 Okay?
00:56:46.000 It's one of the last ones.
00:56:48.000 Lara Logan sees Muslims in Egypt.
00:56:51.000 And she thinks that everyone's the same and there's no such thing as a shithole and the West is not the best.
00:56:56.000 She doesn't want to get fired by being a Western chauvinist.
00:57:00.000 So she goes to this riot and these boomer journalists, when they see a riot they think of like the flower going in the gun.
00:57:09.000 They think, oh these are my fellow revolutionaries fighting for justice and freedom.
00:57:13.000 It hasn't occurred to her that
00:57:16.000 Muslim culture is totally different.
00:57:18.000 And I heard an interesting theory once that said when they see blondes, these guys who are used to seeing women in burqas, the only time they've seen a blonde is in porn, which they consume on a minutely basis.
00:57:28.000 So they go, oh, here's this whore that I was just watching on TV.
00:57:31.000 They love getting slapped around and raped and abused because they saw it on porn.
00:57:37.000 But when you have your blonde hair there, porn or no porn, it sends a message to these guys that you're up for it.
00:57:44.000 Like Pippa Becca with her wedding dress going, hi!
00:57:48.000 The Muslims that she met went, oh, you're into being raped and killed?
00:57:51.000 Okay, come over here.
00:57:53.000 So she got abducted, pulled into that crowd you just saw, that was right before she got yanked in, and then a mob
00:58:00.000 Fingered her in her vagina in her anus grabbed her tits.
00:58:05.000 They were licking her It was like I'm not biting her too, right?
00:58:08.000 Yeah, they were biting her like imagine a hundred head it's sort of like what would have happened to the Beatles if they didn't run and She took a year off and she came back and she goes I'm conservative now.
00:58:19.000 Oh Yeah, they say what is that conservatives a liberal who got mugged?
00:58:24.000 That's really good.
00:58:26.000 But here's naivete tenfold.
00:58:29.000 And then another blonde 60 Minutes employee, this is 60 Minutes Australia, they hear that there's refugees in, where is it, in Sweden?
00:58:39.000 Yeah, they hear about some Swedish refugees, so they go, I'm gonna go check that out.
00:58:44.000 That'd be great for me.
00:58:44.000 It's not like a blonde 60 Minutes employee has ever been molested by Muslim refugees, or Muslims in general, so that nothing could possibly go wrong.
00:58:55.000 What's the tag here?
00:58:56.000 It's just below the one we just looked at.
00:58:58.000 Oh, I see.
00:59:02.000 What are you doing, dude?
00:59:04.000 I thought we might go back to the list.
00:59:07.000 Look at this, look at this.
00:59:09.000 This is a year after Lara Logan, a blonde 60 Minutes employee, just starts relaxing with Muslim refugees, thinking it'll go great.
00:59:16.000 Turn the volume up.
00:59:18.000 You're doing good.
00:59:19.000 Yeah.
00:59:19.000 Okay, very good.
00:59:22.000 Okay, you too.
00:59:23.000 And attack.
00:59:25.000 What did you think was going to happen?
00:59:37.000 Like, this thing where everyone is equal and everyone's the same and we're all, it's just, what do they call it, cultural relativity?
00:59:44.000 There's different cultures and some of them are violent.
00:59:48.000 And some of them see women as human garbage, especially blondes that don't have their head covered.
00:59:55.000 They ran over one of the cameraman's foot with a moped.
00:59:58.000 Oh, shit.
01:00:02.000 You know what that was?
01:00:03.000 That was just like in the other... The fire start?
01:00:04.000 Yeah, the guy and the rascal who put out the fire.
01:00:06.000 That was rascal.
01:00:07.000 Rascal vigilantes.
01:00:10.000 And look, she's facing the camera now.
01:00:13.000 You stupid bitch.
01:00:15.000 She thinks she's some kind of hero.
01:00:18.000 What did you think was gonna happen?
01:00:20.000 We obviously startled them.
01:00:21.000 It was our fault.
01:00:22.000 I mean, you have to... Hey, 60 Minutes employees, watch 60 Minutes occasionally and see what happens.
01:00:27.000 There's some good information on there.
01:00:30.000 Might want to get high on the old supply there.
01:00:31.000 So now you say, well what are you saying Gavin, that you shouldn't report on things?
01:00:35.000 You shouldn't go to a refugee camp in Sweden?
01:00:38.000 Well you can if you're Tommy Robinson.
01:00:40.000 Tommy Robinson heard about this tent city in Italy where they had just taken over a huge portion of the town and they were defecating on the ground and getting violent and mugging people and the police had just made it a no-go zone.
01:00:50.000 They just handed it over to the refugees.
01:00:52.000 So Tommy Robinson went to check it out and he got attacked.
01:00:55.000 Now Tommy Robinson can handle himself, as you'll see in this clip.
01:01:13.000 I can kill your what?
01:01:14.000 Yeah, that's... Sorry, that's every man, buddy.
01:01:17.000 Look at his, look at his eyes change, too.
01:01:19.000 He's like, excuse me?
01:01:21.000 You gonna, you gonna kill a what?
01:01:22.000 Alright, that's enough.
01:01:26.000 He said, in the clip, I've seen a longer version of that, where he says, he keeps telling the refugee to leave him alone.
01:01:32.000 Don't want trouble, don't want trouble.
01:01:33.000 There's going to be two hits.
01:01:34.000 Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.
01:01:36.000 That's how it's going to go down.
01:01:37.000 And the guy's like, no, I will kill you.
01:01:40.000 I told you exactly what was going to happen.
01:01:42.000 I did call it.
01:01:43.000 You know, you're a good fighter when you just plead with someone not to be knocked out.
01:01:48.000 Please, I don't want to hurt you.
01:01:53.000 Okay, so let's go back to the list.
01:01:55.000 So we got... I should make a separate YouTube video of this.
01:01:58.000 We got one, Edith Blais.
01:02:00.000 We got two, the Somalian reporter.
01:02:03.000 We got three, Pippa Becker.
01:02:05.000 Here's kind of a different one for Joshua Boyle and his family.
01:02:10.000 I think Joshua Boyle might be the worst guy in the world.
01:02:13.000 Okay, there's the Guardian.
01:02:17.000 Like Osama Bin Laden's dead.
01:02:19.000 This guy took his wife on a hiking trip into what?
01:02:26.000 Taliban territory in Afghanistan.
01:02:29.000 Hey kids!
01:02:30.000 Like my kids get mad at me when I take them camping because my daughter doesn't like waking up in a tent.
01:02:35.000 She likes to have her little amenities.
01:02:39.000 Hey kids!
01:02:40.000 Hi sweetie!
01:02:41.000 She's pregnant by the way.
01:02:42.000 You want to come to a Taliban?
01:02:44.000 This guy by the way, he worked with Omar Khadr.
01:02:46.000 Omar Khadr is that terrorist who killed an American serviceman and ripped the eye out of another medic who was coming to save him.
01:02:56.000 And Canada felt so bad that Omar Khadr went to Abu Ghraib, that he gave him, Justin Trudeau gave him $10 million.
01:03:04.000 So this guy worked with that disgusting terrorist, who is now a multi-millionaire, thanks to political correctness, and he married Omar Khadr's sister.
01:03:13.000 They got divorced, then he meets this hippie chick, and he goes, let's go on a fun hike in Afghanistan, brings their toddler children,
01:03:22.000 They're promptly kidnapped.
01:03:24.000 They rape her on a regular basis and beat her.
01:03:28.000 And guess what?
01:03:29.000 It gets better.
01:03:30.000 Joshua Boyle helps them rape and beat her.
01:03:34.000 Sheesh.
01:03:35.000 She has a miscarriage from the beatings.
01:03:38.000 She keeps getting pregnant because she keeps getting raped.
01:03:41.000 Then Joshua Boyle comes out and he's like an activist and he's getting sympathy from the Canadian left.
01:03:49.000 See if you can find an interview.
01:03:50.000 There might be a video on that same link if you go down.
01:03:54.000 No?
01:03:56.000 You see interviews with him when he came out and he keeps talking about, he's bitching about the Taliban and the extreme ignorance and stupidity of our captors and how they don't represent Islam, still defending Islam.
01:04:07.000 He's a Muslim convert.
01:04:09.000 But see if you can find any video of him because he's one of those guys, just like that chick I showed earlier.
01:04:14.000 No, the chick I showed earlier, that was a joke.
01:04:16.000 But honestly with this guy, when I see him talking, I feel like I'm looking into the devil's eyes.
01:04:21.000 There's certain people like that where you just go, I feel like we're getting close to the sort of gray area between human and demon.
01:04:30.000 This is the kind of guy that's in a urethra that a Presbyterian minister has to remove.
01:04:35.000 Yeah, this would need a suck job.
01:04:37.000 Look at him.
01:04:37.000 Look at the way he's sitting.
01:04:40.000 He's the worst guy in the world.
01:04:41.000 Yeah, looks like an actual pilgrim.
01:04:47.000 In the beginning, his kidnappers just wanted money, he said, believing the U.S.
01:04:51.000 government would pay quickly, especially because his American wife, Caitlin, was pregnant.
01:04:56.000 The very first time that they came in to interrogate me and they said, who do we contact that will pay for you?
01:05:03.000 Tell us who you work for.
01:05:04.000 Tell us, are you ICRC?
01:05:07.000 And they will give us money and you go home.
01:05:08.000 Are you Army?
01:05:09.000 Tell us, they'll give us money, you'll go home.
01:05:11.000 Tell us who you work for.
01:05:12.000 Oh, they sound like sweethearts.
01:05:13.000 And I said, I have bad news for you.
01:05:18.000 Because the first is that I only work for God and God does not have a briefcase.
01:05:25.000 Just pause for a second here.
01:05:26.000 See what I mean?
01:05:28.000 Yep.
01:05:28.000 Worst guy ever.
01:05:30.000 That's a weird way to sit as well.
01:05:31.000 It's the worst way to sit ever, besides sitting back with your back to her.
01:05:36.000 There's something real foreign about the way he's sitting.
01:05:37.000 That's his shtick.
01:05:38.000 He's like, basically he's subsumed the character of the Taliban and he's basking in all this attention he's getting after putting his family in danger and killing his baby.
01:05:50.000 If you put your pregnant wife in a situation where she's almost definitely gonna have a miscarriage, you just killed your baby.
01:05:55.000 And, you know, we keep talking about these kids in cages.
01:05:58.000 Why are illegal aliens bringing babies and toddlers across the border?
01:06:02.000 Give it a few years.
01:06:04.000 Let his immune system build up a little bit.
01:06:08.000 Later, the captors used his family as political leverage, making demands, moving them 23 times between huts, dungeons, and abandoned houses on both sides of the Afghan-Pakistan border.
01:06:21.000 No, that's it.
01:06:22.000 No, no, go back!
01:06:22.000 Oh, okay.
01:06:40.000 That you did.
01:06:45.000 Anybody who reads their actual report... No, you did it, dude!
01:06:49.000 Alright, that's enough of him.
01:06:50.000 See what I mean, though?
01:06:51.000 He's doing close-up acting.
01:06:52.000 Aren't you scared of him?
01:06:53.000 Where you know there's a close-up on you?
01:06:55.000 Yeah, it's all very meticulous the ways.
01:06:58.000 Well, he's clearly a homicidal lunatic.
01:07:00.000 Yeah, I am I'm actually scared that I just talked about him because I don't want him to know.
01:07:05.000 Are you more scared of him or that creepy chick?
01:07:08.000 The creepy chick just gives me the heebs like the uncanny valley like a weird blobfish or something, you know, but he Looks like a demon.
01:07:17.000 He seems like he's Satan.
01:07:20.000 Wait, what's this link here with the NPR with the cyclists?
01:07:22.000 Those are the ones we talked about?
01:07:25.000 No, we did not.
01:07:26.000 Is that another cycling couple?
01:07:28.000 Yeah, this is a DC couple.
01:07:30.000 The first couple cycling were from Montreal.
01:07:33.000 DC couple killed in Tajikistan attack were spiking around the world together to show that we're all one big Kumbaya.
01:07:43.000 There we go, we're all friends, even in war-torn, Muslim, jihadist hellholes.
01:07:50.000 Everyone's friends.
01:07:52.000 That guy said, uh, badness exists, sure, but even that's quite rare.
01:07:56.000 By and large, humans are kind, self-interested sometimes, myopic sometimes, but kind.
01:08:04.000 They're dead, right?
01:08:05.000 Yes.
01:08:06.000 I killed you because I was a little myopic that day.
01:08:09.000 They're myopic when it comes to murdering me, did that.
01:08:14.000 And then there's Kayla Mueller.
01:08:16.000 Now this one is, this one I think is different.
01:08:19.000 So I've been listing ones that go to prove that everyone is equal and we're all loving, wonderful people and they get promptly killed.
01:08:26.000 But then there's this girl.
01:08:28.000 So she was an activist in some normal Ohio middle class town.
01:08:32.000 And she says, I will not tolerate this injustice that is going on in, where was it now?
01:08:41.000 Where was she?
01:08:42.000 Syria.
01:08:43.000 Oh.
01:08:44.000 She says, I will not tolerate the human rights violations of Syria.
01:08:49.000 I'm going there to fix it.
01:08:51.000 It's sort of like Heather Heyer where she goes, these people are Nazis.
01:08:54.000 I'm going to show up with my flip flops and take them down.
01:08:57.000 If they are who you say they are, then have equipment and be in shape and stay far away.
01:09:04.000 Yell from far away.
01:09:05.000 Throw a can.
01:09:06.000 You guys suck.
01:09:07.000 You suck Nazis.
01:09:09.000 Do voodoo.
01:09:11.000 So she goes there and she immediately is kidnapped.
01:09:17.000 And then while I think it was Obama is bombing them.
01:09:20.000 Yeah, it must have been Obama.
01:09:22.000 When he's bombing them, she ends up getting killed in the bombing as collateral damage.
01:09:29.000 What were you doing there?
01:09:31.000 There was injustice.
01:09:32.000 Yeah, I know.
01:09:33.000 Our soldiers are there fully armed with flak vests and they are shitting bricks.
01:09:38.000 You're going there in a H&M dress and clogs.
01:09:44.000 I had to say clogs because I'd already said flip-flops once on this show.
01:09:48.000 I hear you.
01:09:48.000 So that's kind of different, right?
01:09:50.000 I'm not sure I should put that on the list.
01:09:51.000 And then we have Rachel Corey.
01:09:54.000 Right?
01:09:55.000 Mm-hmm.
01:09:55.000 Now this one is... Kayla and Rachel are different categories.
01:10:01.000 They didn't go there to prove that people are good.
01:10:04.000 They went there to fight, and they're not equipped.
01:10:07.000 So Rachel Corey, it shouldn't matter how you feel about Israel to be angered by this story.
01:10:12.000 She goes there because, I guess in the settlements, the Jews in Israel were taking over Palestinian territory, or what the Palestinians believed was their territory, and that involves bulldozing, right?
01:10:24.000 If they refuse to leave, you bulldoze the house.
01:10:26.000 Because it's now owned by a different country.
01:10:30.000 And so these bulldozers are constantly getting attacked, Molotov cocktails.
01:10:33.000 So they look like something out of Marvel Comics.
01:10:36.000 They have a tiny little burka slit that you can see out of and the rest is all tank.
01:10:40.000 It's a bulldozer tank, really.
01:10:42.000 And she refuses to move, stands in front of the house.
01:10:46.000 And there's this three hour standoff.
01:10:48.000 And the guy, well, the anti-Israeli version is that he killed her on purpose.
01:10:54.000 The Israeli version is that he couldn't see her and bulldozed the house.
01:10:57.000 But what were you doing there?
01:11:00.000 You just jumped, you literally jumped into the middle of a war.
01:11:05.000 With some scarves on and cargo shorts and your Teva hiking boots and said, I will not tolerate this.
01:11:13.000 She had the same kind of verbiage as this Kayla Mueller.
01:11:16.000 And why?
01:11:16.000 Where are the parents?
01:11:18.000 Don't let your daughters go to war in their, in their swim trunks.
01:11:25.000 I don't know why I said swim trunks.
01:11:26.000 She might've been in swim trunks.
01:11:28.000 It's very hot out there.
01:11:29.000 But to be fair, nothing you can wear will save you from a tank bulldozer.
01:11:34.000 A house can't survive.
01:11:35.000 You might as well wear nothing.
01:11:37.000 Fuck it.
01:11:38.000 Okay.
01:11:38.000 Here's the last one.
01:11:40.000 And it's a totally different category now.
01:11:43.000 So I'm not sure what to call this.
01:11:44.000 I guess the West is the best.
01:11:46.000 Stay out of the East.
01:11:48.000 Stay out of everywhere non-Western.
01:11:48.000 Yeah.
01:11:51.000 Everywhere non-Western sucks.
01:11:52.000 And a lot of the West kind of sucks too.
01:11:55.000 Germany blows.
01:11:57.000 Okay, this woman, she was going to Somalia to do charity work and she got kidnapped.
01:12:06.000 Don't go there to fight.
01:12:09.000 Don't go there to do charity work.
01:12:11.000 Don't go there to report if you're not fully equipped.
01:12:14.000 This is, yet again, another pretty little blonde girl and she gets kidnapped and they have to fly in, what was it, Navy SEALs?
01:12:21.000 Green Berets?
01:12:23.000 They fly over Somalia and jump from the plane and then go rescue her.
01:12:27.000 They kill all the bad guys.
01:12:29.000 How much did that cost?
01:12:30.000 And by the way, you put those men's life in jeopardy when you went to Somalia and got yourself kidnapped.
01:12:37.000 Don't you think?
01:12:38.000 Yeah.
01:12:38.000 A little ironic.
01:12:42.000 That's all I got for that subject, but...
01:12:46.000 As Paul Joseph Watson put it when that journalist got killed, it happened again.
01:12:51.000 Because you keep seeing this again and again and again.
01:12:54.000 Leftist naivete leading to suicidal behavior.
01:13:00.000 And I don't like it.
01:13:01.000 That's for you, Gavin.
01:13:09.000 Don't waste my time, please.
01:13:10.000 It's a happy birthday.
01:13:12.000 Fuck off.
01:13:14.000 Speaking of birthdays,
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01:14:47.000 You're nuts if you don't have this in your wallet.
01:14:49.000 Especially single men.
01:14:51.000 What if you meet the one and she seems perfect and there's a lot on the plate.
01:14:57.000 A first date is a job interview and if you show up late to a job interview or you puke or you faint or you use a racial epithet, you're not getting the job.
01:15:09.000 So similarly, if you show up and she's ready to go on a first date, which happens, especially in these slutty times, you don't want to blow it.
01:15:16.000 And here's another problem.
01:15:18.000 Often you will be inebriated or do other illegal activities in order to close the deal.
01:15:23.000 You know, sometimes you have to, it takes like a hundred beers.
01:15:26.000 It can be five in the morning by the time you get her home.
01:15:28.000 Sometimes you cannot perform because you've hindered your performance.
01:15:31.000 As Shakespeare said, it increases the desire and inhibits the performance.
01:15:36.000 Blue Chew takes care of that problem.
01:15:39.000 I think you should not just have it in your wallet, but it should be strategically located all over the city.
01:15:44.000 Like in London, these terrorists and these jihadi kids are hiding knives in trees.
01:15:50.000 So if a fight breaks out in the park, they can just run over there and grab it and they won't get in trouble for carrying a knife.
01:15:55.000 You should do that, but with Blue Chew.
01:15:58.000 I just realized you didn't have a lower third for... No, that's stuff that you have to like load in there.
01:16:04.000 But this is live.
01:16:06.000 I know.
01:16:07.000 So you neglected... It couldn't do it.
01:16:10.000 It couldn't do it?
01:16:11.000 It couldn't do it.
01:16:11.000 You'd have to take a USB, I'd have to make one in Photoshop, throw it into the dry caster.
01:16:17.000 But I tried to think about doing it a different way.
01:16:19.000 Well do it that way!
01:16:21.000 A lower third for the number or for our guest?
01:16:23.000 For our guest!
01:16:24.000 Yeah, that would have been... there was not enough time.
01:16:28.000 All right, I think we can start taking calls now.
01:16:30.000 All right.
01:16:31.000 I'm boiling and hungry and hungover.
01:16:34.000 Everybody call back.
01:16:37.000 This is Brett.
01:16:38.000 He has a question about the all.
01:16:40.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:16:41.000 Let's put... Let's put... Let's put the number on social media.
01:16:53.000 Because there's nothing more embarrassing than having a call-in show and no one calls.
01:16:57.000 We get a good amount of calls.
01:17:00.000 Can you put the number on the screen?
01:17:03.000 Yes.
01:17:03.000 Please.
01:17:04.000 We're taking calls.
01:17:06.000 We're taking calls at 718-400-6959.
01:17:13.000 And if you're hearing this audio podcast, we're not taking calls.
01:17:23.000 Because you missed out on the live stream.
01:17:25.000 Oh, I didn't hit send.
01:17:26.000 I always do that.
01:17:28.000 I complain to someone that they didn't respond to my email and then I see I never clicked send.
01:17:33.000 That was a draft.
01:17:34.000 Send.
01:17:35.000 And then I'm going to copy that.
01:17:38.000 Copy.
01:17:39.000 And then I'm going to go to another app.
01:17:40.000 Let's see if my clipboard... This is a really boring segment for you folks at home.
01:17:47.000 Paste.
01:17:48.000 There we go.
01:17:49.000 God, it's hot in here!
01:17:52.000 I remember whenever I would have to carry in things from the car as a kid, I would do it all in one trip.
01:17:58.000 And then I would end up dropping stuff, because I would have nine suitcases and stuff.
01:18:04.000 And my dad would get so mad.
01:18:06.000 He'd go, you've always got the lazy man's burden!
01:18:11.000 Lazy man's burden.
01:18:13.000 That's mean.
01:18:30.000 He'd also, I'd always, I'd always grab too much food because I grew up, my parents were so cheap that I was starving as a kid.
01:18:37.000 I was a skinny kid because I was starving to death.
01:18:40.000 There'd be like one carrot.
01:18:41.000 I'd have to eat like four apples after dinner just to get some food.
01:18:45.000 So then whenever I had an opportunity I would totally hoard and then I wouldn't be able to finish it.
01:18:49.000 At a restaurant or something and my dad would always go, your eyes are bigger than your belly!
01:18:54.000 He was always mad, that guy.
01:18:57.000 And I know every time you hear him, he's very polite.
01:19:00.000 Yeah, that's what lunatics do.
01:19:04.000 Like Tony Soprano.
01:19:05.000 Very difficult situation.
01:19:07.000 He's always like, hello, good to meet you.
01:19:10.000 This is where you come in with Tony Soprano, you inept boob.
01:19:14.000 Oh, you know, I'm having a nice time with everybody.
01:19:17.000 It's a great, let me just talk to you for a second.
01:19:20.000 And then that's bad.
01:19:21.000 Yeah, he's bad, Tony.
01:19:23.000 Right.
01:19:24.000 You know, you're supposed to roll up your sleeves like this.
01:19:27.000 So you maintain your monogram?
01:19:29.000 Didn't I teach you that?
01:19:31.000 Maybe you did.
01:19:32.000 I did teach you that.
01:19:33.000 That was at the Crime Report Awards.
01:19:34.000 Well, I unlearned it because I don't know how to do it anymore.
01:19:37.000 Really?
01:19:37.000 I could teach you.
01:19:38.000 No, no, no.
01:19:38.000 Let's not do that.
01:19:39.000 All right.
01:19:39.000 We've already bored people enough watching me type stuff out.
01:19:43.000 All right, let's take a call.
01:19:44.000 First call, don't care.
01:19:45.000 And here's another thing, Ryan.
01:19:47.000 After we get the question or whatever,
01:19:50.000 Unless I say otherwise, just hang up on him.
01:19:51.000 Because we don't need to hear a guy going, uh-huh, yeah.
01:19:54.000 As soon as you take the, okay, gotcha.
01:19:55.000 Yeah, I don't want to thank him for calling and say goodbye.
01:19:58.000 We're not talking to our Nana.
01:19:59.000 Gotcha.
01:20:01.000 Okay, let's talk to Alvin.
01:20:04.000 Education comment, and it's stupid.
01:20:07.000 Alvin, go ahead.
01:20:08.000 Alvin, you're online.
01:20:10.000 Hey, am I on?
01:20:11.000 Yep.
01:20:14.000 Yes, you are.
01:20:17.000 Can you hear me?
01:20:17.000 I don't know what that beep was for.
01:20:19.000 Hey Al, can you hear us?
01:20:23.000 Hey man, you're on.
01:20:26.000 What's going on?
01:20:26.000 Is this a him thing or an us thing?
01:20:30.000 Remember I said when we started the show, I said, are you nervous?
01:20:32.000 And you go, no, I got it.
01:20:34.000 This could be an Alvin thing.
01:20:36.000 Hey Alvin.
01:20:39.000 Well, let's find out with the next caller.
01:20:41.000 Return him the cue.
01:20:43.000 Sorry, bud.
01:20:44.000 Question about the all.
01:20:45.000 I don't know what that means.
01:20:46.000 Okay, go ahead.
01:20:46.000 Hey Brett, you there?
01:20:51.000 Hey Brett, you there?
01:20:55.000 Hey Brett, you there?
01:20:56.000 He might be listening to the show.
01:20:58.000 He's been on for a long time.
01:21:00.000 Okay.
01:21:02.000 Let's talk to... Hey, can you hear us?
01:21:08.000 That was Marcel.
01:21:10.000 So this can't all be them, dumbass.
01:21:13.000 I hate that you're so confident all the fucking time.
01:21:16.000 Hello?
01:21:16.000 Keaton, are you there?
01:21:21.000 So it doesn't work, dude!
01:21:23.000 And you sit there going, no, no, I got it, man.
01:21:25.000 I'm not worried.
01:21:26.000 I don't even have to do a test before the show.
01:21:28.000 That's how cool I am.
01:21:30.000 Keaton, can you hear us?
01:21:30.000 We've done this before, he says.
01:21:31.000 I don't know if you guys can hear me, but I don't hear anything.
01:21:34.000 You don't hear anything.
01:21:35.000 Okay.
01:21:35.000 Yeah, I don't know what that is.
01:21:39.000 Fuck, you're an idiot!
01:21:42.000 Yes.
01:21:44.000 Why didn't you test it first?
01:21:46.000 Well, we just had a nice Skype call, didn't we?
01:21:49.000 Yeah, this isn't Skype.
01:21:50.000 It is Skype, actually.
01:21:52.000 Well, it's clearly not simply Skype.
01:21:54.000 There's clearly another factor in there.
01:21:57.000 So why don't you sit and try to figure out that fucking shit?
01:22:01.000 Um, I'm gonna try it again.
01:22:05.000 So what, are you quitting and now starting up?
01:22:10.000 And now I hurt my hand.
01:22:11.000 Well, you shouldn't have done that.
01:22:16.000 You know, this is sort of how we do GOML, where we have news.
01:22:20.000 And it's not supposed to be like that.
01:22:22.000 The podcast is supposed to just be off the dome.
01:22:24.000 Random talking.
01:22:27.000 What are you doing now?
01:22:28.000 I can't go talk when you're testing this out.
01:22:31.000 So we'll just imagine how shitty this sounds for the people who are just listening to the audio podcast later on.
01:22:36.000 They just hear a guy being mad and a bunch of people going, hello?
01:22:39.000 Hello?
01:22:40.000 Hmm.
01:22:41.000 It couldn't be worse radio.
01:22:44.000 What are you doing now?
01:22:46.000 Let's try.
01:22:46.000 I want to kill you so bad.
01:22:49.000 Keaton, are you there?
01:22:53.000 Nope, not there.
01:22:55.000 I can feel the knife going into your spine.
01:22:58.000 I feel it in my hand and I feel the resistance that I would get because it's bone right there.
01:23:02.000 And I feel my strength pushing through that resistance and I can feel the nerve ending severing with the blade.
01:23:11.000 And then you're just a head, but not dead.
01:23:15.000 I would prefer paralysis.
01:23:17.000 I want you to be Stephen Hawking.
01:23:18.000 I heard a beeping sound, but I don't hear anything.
01:23:21.000 He hears a beeping sound, but he doesn't hear anything because you didn't test it before we went live because you were totally confident that it would rock.
01:23:29.000 And we've been talking about taking calls for all week now.
01:23:34.000 True.
01:23:34.000 All right, let me restart the whole thing.
01:23:40.000 And we're still live.
01:23:40.000 All right.
01:23:42.000 But yeah, I think next week will be more normal.
01:23:47.000 I don't just mean the calls, I mean the tone.
01:23:49.000 Because I prefer to do the newsy pieces on the show when you can see the references.
01:23:54.000 But I also wanted to punish you for not signing up to freespeech.tv.
01:23:58.000 And I wanted you to hear what you're missing.
01:24:01.000 You don't know, you have to go look up Pippa Becka on your own.
01:24:05.000 And that freaky chick at the beginning I was talking about, you don't get to see her.
01:24:09.000 If you're just listening to the audio podcast.
01:24:11.000 You also don't get to see me boil my ass off live on air.
01:24:19.000 And we may just have to end the show if you don't fix this, you fucking horrible human being.
01:24:28.000 I don't see what the problem would be.
01:24:30.000 That's the problem!
01:24:31.000 But we had a Skype that our audio was going to another human being and now these human beings are on the same platform but they cannot hear us and nothing has changed.
01:24:40.000 No, it's not just the same platform.
01:24:41.000 There's another piece of the puzzle there that's called the software that they call in on.
01:24:46.000 It's called we've had Skype problems and we always have to restart the actual computer to get Skype working.
01:24:50.000 No, but this wasn't a typical Skype problem.
01:24:52.000 They hear beeping.
01:24:54.000 Yeah, they hear us.
01:24:55.000 Why wouldn't you test it?
01:24:56.000 You had all day.
01:24:57.000 Actually, this is a very common problem.
01:24:59.000 This is what happened with Pat Coffin and everything where we could hear them.
01:25:02.000 He's like, sorry, I can't hear you guys.
01:25:04.000 No, no, no one's ever said they heard beeping.
01:25:07.000 No, that's, that's them getting patched in.
01:25:10.000 What?
01:25:10.000 That is the service patching them in.
01:25:12.000 It's like, boop, you're on the radio.
01:25:14.000 You know, when you call into like a radio and they... Here, hand me the Covfefe mug.
01:25:18.000 No.
01:25:19.000 Oh, okay.
01:25:20.000 I thought you were going to smash me with it.
01:25:22.000 No, no, I don't want to just bonk you on the head.
01:25:24.000 That would just cut your head open.
01:25:25.000 You'd have maybe five stitches.
01:25:27.000 I want you to be paralyzed for the rest of your life and have to have some government program, because you don't have any money, come here and like wipe your butt and use wet wipes to clean your sores.
01:25:39.000 That's gonna waste taxpayer money.
01:25:41.000 It's worth it.
01:25:42.000 That's where I want my tax dollars going.
01:25:46.000 Third sponsor, we have Making Coffee Great, Cavefe.
01:25:50.000 It is a pro-Trump coffee company that
01:25:56.000 That is rare in this day and age.
01:25:59.000 This guy is an entrepreneur who makes some of the most delicious beans we've ever had.
01:26:04.000 We have him here at the studio.
01:26:06.000 He sends them regularly.
01:26:07.000 They come in bean form.
01:26:07.000 So we had to buy one of those grinders.
01:26:10.000 Before we had that grinder, Ryan would take a table leg and just manually crunch the beans in a piece of paper because he's a cave person.
01:26:19.000 And I said, these things, these coffee grinders are $10, dude.
01:26:23.000 He didn't know that.
01:26:24.000 So I had to buy a coffee grinder.
01:26:26.000 But we do, and we drink this delicious coffee.
01:26:28.000 You'll notice that it's gone because we consume it the second we get to work.
01:26:32.000 It also, if you have too much of it and you don't have lunch and you're in a hot studio, it can make you a little bit angry.
01:26:39.000 So make sure you eat a nice breakfast with it and you're in a normal temperature zone.
01:26:43.000 If you're in an unfortunate situation where you had tons of coffee, you didn't eat lunch, the studio that you're in is maybe 90 degrees, and you're ensconced in incompetence, where some arrogant millennial refuses to try something because he's so confident, and then exactly what you predicted would happen,
01:27:02.000 Happens.
01:27:03.000 If you're in a situation like that, I'd understand you having fantasies about permanently crippling the person.
01:27:09.000 I'd understand you punching your desk so hard that you break your hand.
01:27:13.000 All of that would be perfectly reasonable.
01:27:15.000 But I'd like you to avoid that.
01:27:19.000 You just seem to be randomly clicking buttons, too.
01:27:22.000 What?
01:27:24.000 Like, do you not know now what setting is our mics?
01:27:29.000 Why try different mic settings?
01:27:32.000 Oh, I'm not.
01:27:34.000 What are you doing, dude?
01:27:36.000 I am putting in the number.
01:27:41.000 This is the worst.
01:27:42.000 Why don't I tell you the story about how I discovered Tom Green?
01:27:44.000 We were just watching Tom Green tell a story about being on the Celebrity Apprentice.
01:27:50.000 And I remembered that I discovered him.
01:27:52.000 Now I had nothing to do with his success.
01:27:54.000 You know, when you come up with a, an idea and someone else does it, you still invented that thing.
01:27:59.000 It's just someone else did it too and better.
01:28:02.000 So I must've been about 19, 1989.
01:28:04.000 And I was in my car listening to the local college radio station, CKCU, which by the way,
01:28:12.000 Was created by Dan Aykroyd.
01:28:14.000 He's from my same alma mater.
01:28:15.000 It was a school for retards called Carleton University.
01:28:19.000 It was also called Hogsback High and Cartoon University.
01:28:21.000 It was for stupid people.
01:28:23.000 And I was stupid.
01:28:24.000 I am a stupid person.
01:28:26.000 Anyway, um, I'm driving around and I hear him.
01:28:28.000 He's got his own show and he has a call-in show.
01:28:30.000 Incidentally, a call-in show that worked.
01:28:33.000 And this was 1989.
01:28:36.000 Now with the future technology, we have call-in shows that don't work because someone doesn't feel the need to test them out and is confident they're going to totally rock.
01:28:47.000 That person also has to reboot his computer twice now.
01:28:50.000 That is what we get for not having Fios.
01:28:54.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
01:28:55.000 It's the width of the broadband.
01:28:58.000 It actually is, yeah.
01:29:00.000 That is true.
01:29:00.000 That is a true statement that you have said.
01:29:02.000 No, it is not true because I spoke to our technician and he said, no, you've got plenty of room in there.
01:29:06.000 It's a routing, it's a routing issue and a, yeah, that's what it is.
01:29:14.000 Anyway, I'm listening to this show and he, this is 1989, one of his callers, he goes, can you go into a pizza place?
01:29:22.000 Let's get a pizza.
01:29:23.000 And I'm listening going, this guy's got it.
01:29:25.000 Like this guy, I don't know what it is, but he has it.
01:29:29.000 He can think outside the box.
01:29:30.000 He's adventurous.
01:29:31.000 He's got big balls.
01:29:32.000 He's crazy.
01:29:33.000 And he's funny and weird.
01:29:34.000 And you've got a boring thing like a call-in show on a small college radio station and you turn it into this elaborate prank so he makes the guy go buy pizza and this guy does and he orders he tells Tom tells him what to order the guy orders that and then he goes give the pizza guy the phone so he gives the pizza guy the phone and then Tom says to the pizza guy I'm kidnapped I'm in this man's car he's going to kill me help call the police right now this man is a murderer
01:30:05.000 And then the guy gets the phone back and he goes, what did you say to him?
01:30:08.000 He's acting weird now.
01:30:10.000 So the next time I, Tom was younger than me.
01:30:12.000 He's probably about two years younger than me, which when you're 19 is 800 years younger than me.
01:30:16.000 And I had a punk band called Anal Chinook at the time.
01:30:18.000 And we were big on props, clown punk, carrot top type stuff.
01:30:23.000 We had a lot of things on stage.
01:30:24.000 We showed movies on stage.
01:30:25.000 We had slime and we would throw things into the crowd.
01:30:28.000 It was sort of like guar kind of stuff.
01:30:31.000 You know, fake blood and everything and we had actors come on and play different parts and we'd have fights and it was crazy.
01:30:37.000 And Tom copied that for his band.
01:30:38.000 He was in a rap band.
01:30:40.000 Organized Rhyme.
01:30:41.000 This is right when punk was being replaced by rap as what young people are into.
01:30:45.000 And in Organized Rhyme they would have tons of props and weird shit and he'd put a ski boot on his head and uh...
01:30:53.000 I saw him at a show once and I said, dude, you are going places.
01:30:56.000 I heard your pizza prank.
01:30:58.000 It was fucking hilarious.
01:31:00.000 And I see bright things in your future.
01:31:04.000 You're going to be a huge star one day.
01:31:07.000 And then he's maybe this was because of my pep talk because his band definitely was sort of like below us, less accomplished.
01:31:14.000 And then he started doing a show.
01:31:17.000 On, uh, on local cable access, which is just as small of an audience as the, the college radio call-in show.
01:31:25.000 And that show was over the top lunacy and making fun of his friend.
01:31:28.000 And then they took that package to MTV because MTV was looking for a talk show.
01:31:33.000 And the beauty of doing that is you're not pitching in the room.
01:31:36.000 I've pitched a million TV shows, sold a ton of pilots.
01:31:39.000 Not one of them ever got picked up, but it's still good money.
01:31:41.000 You get 40 grand for a pilot.
01:31:43.000 Um,
01:31:45.000 You have $40,000 to write it, and then you get another $250,000 if they make it.
01:31:49.000 And then they'll inevitably throw it in the garbage.
01:31:50.000 They take like one in $200,000.
01:31:52.000 What are you saying, Ryan?
01:31:54.000 I'm seeing if our call here, talking about homeless Gavin.
01:31:59.000 Okay.
01:32:00.000 Can you hear us?
01:32:00.000 Can you hear us, sir?
01:32:04.000 Or ma'am?
01:32:06.000 Can you hear me?
01:32:09.000 Yeah, I can hear me.
01:32:11.000 I can hear you.
01:32:11.000 Hey.
01:32:14.000 Well, good deal.
01:32:15.000 Homeless Gavin went out with a bank.
01:32:19.000 Oh, you like that last one?
01:32:20.000 What was it about again?
01:32:21.000 Snakes.
01:32:23.000 And what was he saying about snakes again?
01:32:24.000 Snake.
01:32:25.000 Female.
01:32:28.000 God, I got such bad feet on this.
01:32:34.000 Our call-in show sucks!
01:32:35.000 What were we going to say, sir?
01:32:40.000 I keep hearing myself over and over again.
01:32:42.000 Anyways, I'm just going to speak about it.
01:32:47.000 I'm a retired Green Beret, and you couldn't be more spot-on when you were describing, oh, we've got to do this email, putting it on the scene, and you wanted to comment on it.
01:32:57.000 It's one of the reasons I got out.
01:32:59.000 Yeah, I'm hearing that from a lot of military guys, that the Marines just aren't the Marines anymore.
01:33:08.000 Yeah, essentially.
01:33:09.000 I mean, it's PT culture, and it was pushed forever.
01:33:12.000 Now it's over the top.
01:33:15.000 And the thing that drives me nuts, too, is the top brass seems to totally abuse the grunts and throw them under the bus at the slightest risk of embarrassment.
01:33:24.000 And you go, I understand that if it's like America's Got Talent and it's not very important what they're doing and you want the best singers and the Spice Girls or whatever.
01:33:33.000 But we're talking about guys that you're telling to go die.
01:33:37.000 So you want this guy to die for your command.
01:33:39.000 Yet, if you need anything from him, you're just like, fuck you, you're a bitch.
01:33:42.000 You said something homophobic once.
01:33:46.000 You want to take another call?
01:33:47.000 Sure.
01:33:48.000 Keaton from Texas, Joe Rogan.
01:33:51.000 Keaton, are you there?
01:33:55.000 Hey, can you guys hear me?
01:33:56.000 Yep.
01:33:56.000 Yep.
01:34:00.000 I saw from a subreddit that they were talking about Rogan Part 3, and I don't know if that's going to happen or not, but if not, do you hold it against them, and is it possible?
01:34:11.000 Rogan for free?
01:34:12.000 What do you mean?
01:34:12.000 Rogan part three.
01:34:13.000 You and Rogan for the third time.
01:34:14.000 Oh.
01:34:15.000 Yeah.
01:34:15.000 I don't know.
01:34:15.000 Rogan part three.
01:34:17.000 You're talking about trying to get back on the show.
01:34:20.000 I would love to get on that show again.
01:34:22.000 I haven't asked him because someone put out some feelers and he didn't jump at it.
01:34:27.000 So I don't want to personally jeopardize my relationship with him by being too needy.
01:34:31.000 I'm sure if you're Joe Rogan, the second you say hi to anyone, you get an onslaught of, can I come on the show?
01:34:37.000 Can I come on the show?
01:34:38.000 But the reason I want to get on that show is,
01:34:40.000 The reach that it has is fucking insane.
01:34:44.000 I've never experienced anything like it.
01:34:46.000 If I go to London, England, I'm known as the Joe Rogan guy.
01:34:50.000 I've done a billion videos.
01:34:51.000 I've written more than Jack Kerouac.
01:34:54.000 I've written thousands of articles.
01:34:56.000 I've done movies, books, nothing.
01:34:59.000 That doesn't affect anything.
01:35:01.000 You aren't Joe Rogan once.
01:35:02.000 And I'm not going to exaggerate.
01:35:03.000 I think hundreds of millions of people hear about it.
01:35:07.000 Okay, that's exaggerated.
01:35:08.000 I'm going to say
01:35:10.000 Tens of millions.
01:35:11.000 Maybe tens of millions?
01:35:12.000 I know his Alex Jones one was viewed something like 400 million times.
01:35:18.000 Now the Super Bowl, I think a good night for the Super Bowl is maybe 50 million or something.
01:35:24.000 I know Hannity is the number one show and he'll get maybe 5 million.
01:35:28.000 Hundreds and hundreds of millions.
01:35:30.000 And it's funny too, because that gives everything you're saying such gravitas.
01:35:35.000 So when I'm joking around with him and I go, yeah, the Proud Boys, I started a gang called the Proud Boys.
01:35:39.000 Now that's taken as some sort of thing I've said in court to a stenographer.
01:35:44.000 Meanwhile, I'm dressed like Michael Douglas in Falling Down and I have a Lucite briefcase with me, Samsonite briefcase.
01:35:54.000 Who are you texting?
01:35:56.000 Tech.
01:35:58.000 And we got a Donnie, calling about hipsters.
01:36:01.000 You want to say Donnie?
01:36:02.000 Donnie, are you there?
01:36:03.000 Oh, I gotta take him first.
01:36:05.000 Hey, Donnie!
01:36:06.000 Yeah, hello gentlemen.
01:36:07.000 Hey, man.
01:36:10.000 Proceed.
01:36:11.000 So, I have a question, too.
01:36:13.000 What are your thoughts on Gen Z and millennial hipsters, and where do you see the future of hipsterdom going?
01:36:20.000 Thanks, Gavin.
01:36:21.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:36:23.000 Uh, where do I see hipsterdom going?
01:36:25.000 I don't know.
01:36:26.000 I think youth culture is, has been destroyed by political correctness.
01:36:30.000 When we started, when I started the hipster thing in the early aughts, uh, you could still be dangerous.
01:36:37.000 You know, like there was still offensiveness.
01:36:40.000 I dressed like a Nazi skinhead at the Vice 10 year anniversary.
01:36:43.000 We were playing Japanese puke porn on the wall.
01:36:47.000 Like 50 feet wide, a massive projection of Japanese puke and shit porn and we were tossing midgets.
01:36:54.000 Like you could joke around and be ludicrous.
01:36:57.000 Especially 2000 to 2005.
01:36:59.000 Michael Malice in his new book thinks that's absurd and thinks that we were very uptight because 9-11 had just happened.
01:37:06.000 No.
01:37:06.000 I don't remember that.
01:37:07.000 Maybe because 9-11... You could make comedy was funny.
01:37:11.000 Jokes were rude.
01:37:12.000 Not every superhero had to be a black woman.
01:37:15.000 Not everyone had to be gay.
01:37:17.000 The pride parade was relatively esoteric.
01:37:19.000 Not that I think that's a problem.
01:37:22.000 It's just...
01:37:22.000 The constant gay pandering all June with the corporations and their rainbows.
01:37:26.000 It's tedious and ridiculous.
01:37:28.000 And now with this Me Too thing where you know Aziz Ansari has sex that a woman decides wasn't fun weeks later.
01:37:36.000 Now that's rape.
01:37:37.000 I mean they've totally diluted the word rape to nothing.
01:37:40.000 So they've ruined sex.
01:37:41.000 They've ruined music.
01:37:43.000 Now if you think
01:37:44.000 Think it's okay that Trump rounds up criminals?
01:37:47.000 Remember like that gang Dream Machine?
01:37:49.000 That band Dream Machine?
01:37:50.000 They lost their entire career because the immigrant keyboardist said, yeah, I'm kind of glad he's rounding up MS-13, they're criminals.
01:37:57.000 That was her radical belief.
01:37:59.000 Ruined!
01:38:00.000 Or, uh, what's his name?
01:38:02.000 I want to say Tyler Durden?
01:38:03.000 The guy who did the Western Chauvinist song?
01:38:06.000 Um, Ty, yeah.
01:38:08.000 Shit.
01:38:08.000 Let me see.
01:38:09.000 Ty Richards.
01:38:10.000 Ty Richards.
01:38:11.000 Sings a song about being a Western Chauvinist.
01:38:13.000 Kind of an allusion to Proud Boys.
01:38:14.000 They go, are you making fun of them?
01:38:16.000 Or do you like them?
01:38:17.000 He didn't say either.
01:38:18.000 He said, it's none of your business.
01:38:19.000 I'm an artist.
01:38:20.000 You interpret it how you like.
01:38:21.000 I just put out art there.
01:38:22.000 I don't want to talk about my art.
01:38:24.000 Persona non grata.
01:38:25.000 So, movies ruined, music ruined, sex ruined.
01:38:29.000 How can you have fun?
01:38:30.000 Youth culture has to be irreverent and dangerous by nature.
01:38:34.000 Maybe that's why there's so many young people are getting red-pilled.
01:38:37.000 So I guess my answer to your question is, hipsterdom, fun, kooky youth culture is dying and I think the only place left where it's any fun is on the right.
01:38:50.000 Not the alt-right.
01:38:51.000 But on the woke, libertarian, new right, as we call it.
01:38:55.000 The Paul Joseph Watsons of the world.
01:38:57.000 The Laura Loomers.
01:38:58.000 The Milo Yiannopoulos.
01:38:59.000 The Sabos.
01:39:00.000 The people being banned.
01:39:02.000 They are the new Animal House.
01:39:06.000 Yeah, things that are mainstream ain't cool.
01:39:07.000 What happened to the frat and Animal House?
01:39:09.000 They got kicked off a campus.
01:39:10.000 What happens to Milo and I?
01:39:11.000 We get kicked off a campus.
01:39:13.000 We are Animal House.
01:39:16.000 Next, let's see if... We got Don.
01:39:18.000 Because this was getting so bad, this talk show, that I was thinking it could be good because it's called the worst talk show ever.
01:39:23.000 We could make a graphic and everything.
01:39:25.000 That's how bad it is.
01:39:26.000 It's becoming good.
01:39:28.000 It could only exist well in irony.
01:39:29.000 Yeah, it's like shitty music.
01:39:31.000 Well, we got Don, and he wants to talk about shitty music, i.e.
01:39:34.000 Danzig.
01:39:34.000 And I'm not talking about you callers, by the way.
01:39:36.000 I'm talking about me, the technology here.
01:39:38.000 Danzig.
01:39:39.000 Go ahead, Danzig.
01:39:42.000 Don.
01:39:42.000 Hello, can you hear me?
01:39:43.000 Yes.
01:39:46.000 Alright, I was wondering, who's the better... I've got two questions really.
01:39:51.000 Obviously they pumped back in the 70s, but Misfits are pumped and they came way after the 70s.
01:39:57.000 And is Dan Veidt or Graves were better centered for the Misfits?
01:40:00.000 Or who were better?
01:40:02.000 I've heard this new Graves guy's politics are pretty cool and he likes Trump, so I'd probably like him better than Danzig, who I hear is a complete dick.
01:40:10.000 But no one can hold a candle to Danzig.
01:40:12.000 That's like saying is Sammy Hagar Van Halen better than David Lee Roth Van Halen?
01:40:15.000 Of course it's Danzig.
01:40:17.000 But I would present you with a conundrum, sir.
01:40:20.000 I don't think the misfits are punk.
01:40:24.000 I mean, they're just a... I think they're a metal band or a hard rock band.
01:40:30.000 Yeah.
01:40:31.000 I mean, do they have solos?
01:40:32.000 Do they have guitar solos?
01:40:34.000 Yeah.
01:40:37.000 They're like horror rockabilly.
01:40:39.000 I want your stuff.
01:40:41.000 It's almost like Billy Idol.
01:40:43.000 Yeah.
01:40:43.000 And what's Billy Idol?
01:40:44.000 He's like pop punk or pop... He's like dance punk.
01:40:48.000 And they're more like, maybe rock punk or something?
01:40:52.000 I just feel weird calling them punk.
01:40:54.000 Like when you think of punk, American punk, and there's very little of it by the way, you think of the Dead Kennedys, maybe the Dead Boys, and then the rest, Bad Brains and all that, that's all hardcore.
01:41:04.000 And we were in a 80s hardcore cover band, and we discussed this at length.
01:41:09.000 Ad nauseum.
01:41:10.000 Ad nauseum.
01:41:10.000 And it was, should we include the Misfits?
01:41:13.000 And the band said, no.
01:41:14.000 They're not a hardcore band.
01:41:15.000 They're a punk band.
01:41:16.000 I'm going farther and saying they're not a punk band.
01:41:19.000 Just because you look kooky doesn't mean you're a punk band.
01:41:22.000 I think they have more in common with Gwar.
01:41:24.000 Or with the Stray Cats.
01:41:26.000 The Stray Cats?
01:41:27.000 Yeah, because they're like rock and roll-y.
01:41:30.000 And I think there's a case to be made that the Ramones aren't punk.
01:41:33.000 I think that'll be coming out soon, the case that you'll make for that.
01:41:36.000 Maybe we should invent a new genre called punk and roll, where you're just fast rock and roll.
01:41:43.000 But I think the Misfits are a fucking wonderful band.
01:41:46.000 I can't believe how many awesome hits they are.
01:41:49.000 I'll put on a Misfits record tonight and it ages beautifully.
01:41:53.000 And Danzig too.
01:41:54.000 Mother.
01:41:55.000 I love that song.
01:41:57.000 Now that's a solo.
01:41:58.000 Mother!
01:42:00.000 Not bad.
01:42:02.000 All right, next.
01:42:03.000 We got Brett on the line.
01:42:04.000 Ryan's a fucking retard.
01:42:05.000 Go ahead, sir.
01:42:05.000 Can you hear me, Brett?
01:42:10.000 I should have gone to the mailbag when we were having technical difficulties.
01:42:13.000 Hey, Brett.
01:42:13.000 Can you see me?
01:42:14.000 Hello?
01:42:15.000 Hey, Brett.
01:42:16.000 Hey, man.
01:42:16.000 Can you hear me?
01:42:18.000 All I can hear is the ringing again.
01:42:19.000 The buzzing.
01:42:20.000 Oh, that's you.
01:42:22.000 So you can't hear me.
01:42:24.000 Hey, Ryan is a fucking retard.
01:42:27.000 Yep.
01:42:30.000 Fuck you, Brett.
01:42:32.000 You're the shit.
01:42:34.000 All I hear is buzzing.
01:42:35.000 I'm sorry.
01:42:36.000 I can't hear anything.
01:42:38.000 Hopefully it's just him.
01:42:40.000 So he can't hear anything.
01:42:42.000 This reminds me of a letter we got about yesterday's show that we'll read in the mailbag.
01:42:48.000 Are you ready for the MG?
01:42:49.000 Sure.
01:42:50.000 We're still taking calls, by the way.
01:42:51.000 I just read this one letter.
01:42:52.000 We can do both.
01:42:53.000 Because the calls are working so badly that we have time to read letters in between calls.
01:42:59.000 While you figure out stuff and reboot it.
01:43:01.000 Oh.
01:43:02.000 Yeah, we need a second in again.
01:43:04.000 Why?
01:43:04.000 What have you done now?
01:43:04.000 Since I restarted the computer, I just need two seconds.
01:43:08.000 One one thousand, two one thousand.
01:43:09.000 Is this an actual bad message to me, or is it like, is it fun?
01:43:14.000 No, it's very cruel and accurate.
01:43:17.000 Look at you screwing this up.
01:43:19.000 Dad!
01:43:21.000 I don't hear any music.
01:43:22.000 The thing is, in order to, I'd have to switch off the, um... Alright, then don't play it!
01:43:29.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:43:32.000 Alright.
01:43:34.000 This is from a chicken.
01:43:34.000 Shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:43:38.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:43:44.000 Let me touch it.
01:43:46.000 This is from a woman named Samantha, and the subject on the letter is, why is Ryan the actual worst?
01:43:53.000 The actual worst.
01:43:55.000 I believe that means out of seven billion people, including Joshua Boyle, the man who took his family on a camping trip to the Taliban, you are below him as the number zero.
01:44:06.000 That's horrible.
01:44:07.000 Worst person in the world.
01:44:09.000 Maybe of all time.
01:44:10.000 I think this includes Hitler.
01:44:11.000 Let's hear it, Sue.
01:44:12.000 Samantha.
01:44:14.000 Hello, I've been a long time listener of your show, watching your new site.
01:44:17.000 Last episode where you were talking about the clip of that woman freaking out because her boyfriend had wasted her time really made me feel some type of way, especially listening to Ryan being stupid.
01:44:27.000 Listening to Ryan talk about that made me more furious than I've been in a while, which is saying a lot.
01:44:34.000 Perhaps it's because I'm pregnant right now and everything makes me angry, but how dense can you be?
01:44:40.000 If you're older than 25, why are you dating someone you can't see yourself marrying?
01:44:45.000 That's in all caps.
01:44:47.000 In my opinion, if you date someone for a couple of months and you don't see it going anywhere, and she's over 25, get the fuck out and don't waste her time or yours, ESPECIALLY if you know that she ultimately wants to get married and have kids.
01:45:00.000 Also, who cares about the description on that video?
01:45:03.000 He wrote it!
01:45:04.000 Oh, she has serious mental health issues?
01:45:06.000 Well, pal, those don't just pop out of nowhere.
01:45:10.000 I'd imagine that if that is true,
01:45:14.000 Then any serious mental illness would be one she's dealt with for some time and I'd imagine it wasn't just some surprise that he'd be dating for 11 months and suddenly she's fucking crazy.
01:45:25.000 Listening to Ryan try to defend this made me roll my eyes so far into the back of my skull.
01:45:30.000 That dude sucks for wasting her time, especially since he admits that they had been having serious talks of marriage.
01:45:37.000 Being pregnant now and being married, I fucking thank my lucky stars every day that I found someone to start a family with.
01:45:44.000 Because when I think about being in this woman's position, I cannot imagine the soul-crushing sadness and rage I'd feel knowing I wasted the prime of my adulthood on some douchebag who decided after talking about getting married that he didn't want to anymore because, well, you gave me an ultimatum.
01:46:00.000 I normally love you both, but Ryan sucked this episode and made me mad, and you should throw something at him for being the worst!
01:46:09.000 Well... Okay, thanks.
01:46:10.000 I like you more than a friend, Samantha.
01:46:12.000 That sounds like pregnant rage.
01:46:13.000 So when you're not pregnant, I will respond.
01:46:17.000 That sounds like an accurate woman with a good head on her shoulders depicting the truth.
01:46:21.000 You both make me sick.
01:46:23.000 You don't know any context of that whatsoever.
01:46:25.000 I waited too long to have kids.
01:46:26.000 I only have three.
01:46:27.000 So there's five kids that I wanted and I realize now in retrospect that I just blew it.
01:46:32.000 That's two human beings.
01:46:33.000 That's two entire lives.
01:46:35.000 And then them having kids and them having kids.
01:46:37.000 I mean, you cannot get more consequential than that.
01:46:41.000 We're talking about thousands of lives.
01:46:45.000 And we poo-poo it like, oh well, I guess she's not having kids.
01:46:47.000 It's like, oh well, she's not wearing white jeans this summer.
01:46:49.000 Now, why would you want to have kids with someone who has manic bipolar episodes?
01:46:53.000 If that- let's say that's the case.
01:46:55.000 Oh, come on!
01:46:56.000 You could just leave your kid with a maniac who's gonna- Why did you waste someone's time when they have manic bipolar episodes for 11 months?
01:47:02.000 Why did you try to hold back that you're crazy for so long?
01:47:04.000 And then now you're giving me an- Why didn't you give the ultimatum in six months in?
01:47:08.000 Lady?
01:47:10.000 I'm just saying, I'm not even saying I'm right.
01:47:12.000 The woman made it very clear here that it does not just, quote unquote, pop out of nowhere.
01:47:17.000 Oh, it kind of does.
01:47:18.000 I've been with a couple of women.
01:47:20.000 A couple of women have had a mental issue.
01:47:22.000 Yeah, it does kind of pop.
01:47:24.000 They kind of hide it.
01:47:25.000 It's like not having a fart.
01:47:26.000 It's kind of, they keep a fart in and it's a psycho fart.
01:47:28.000 It's like, I'm crazy.
01:47:29.000 It's like, whoa.
01:47:31.000 I met one of your previous ladies and it was obvious within maybe 10 minutes.
01:47:37.000 No.
01:47:38.000 In fact, I believe I burst out laughing.
01:47:40.000 Because of what she was wearing.
01:47:42.000 Let's not get into that.
01:47:44.000 Because I'll always err on the side of defending, but overall it's not anyone's fault that they're mentally ill, but why would you want to have a kid with one of those people that cannot control themselves?
01:47:56.000 Being mentally ill does not pop out of nowhere.
01:47:58.000 Okay, that's the problem with your point.
01:47:59.000 You can hide being mentally ill, just like that guy who sent his kids to the fucking thing.
01:48:03.000 He's hidden his mental illness enough to have an interview and people feel bad for him.
01:48:08.000 No, no one, everyone sane hates that guy and can tell the second he opens his mouth that he is the devil.
01:48:15.000 But the peace is airing on his side.
01:48:16.000 Anyway, I'm just tired of talking to you.
01:48:18.000 I'm mad that you're not paralyzed.
01:48:20.000 I don't want to talk to you again unless you're in a wheelchair.
01:48:22.000 Alright, well let's talk about Marcel from Brazil.
01:48:28.000 Hey, Marcel.
01:48:29.000 Marcel, are you there?
01:48:30.000 Can you hear us?
01:48:32.000 Hey, Ryan.
01:48:33.000 Hello.
01:48:34.000 Yeah.
01:48:35.000 What's your question, buddy?
01:48:37.000 Hey.
01:48:39.000 Yeah.
01:48:39.000 Hey, man.
01:48:40.000 Just showing some love from Brazil.
01:48:44.000 You know, it must be great to be in Brazil.
01:48:48.000 ...are threatening members of the mainstream media and big tech.
01:48:54.000 Sorry, can you repeat that?
01:48:55.000 I was talking over you.
01:48:59.000 Would you say that radical jihadists are somehow threatening members of the mainstream media and the big tech for them to be so biased?
01:49:08.000 You know, that's a great question.
01:49:10.000 And I think they are inadvertently.
01:49:13.000 It's not overt.
01:49:15.000 Penn Jillette said this when he was doing his book about how stupid religion is.
01:49:18.000 And he spent most of it just Catholic bashing and Christian bashing.
01:49:22.000 And someone said, why didn't you include Islam in that?
01:49:25.000 You talk about Judaism and Christianity.
01:49:27.000 You barely mentioned Islam.
01:49:29.000 And he goes, because I'm scared.
01:49:30.000 I have kids and I don't want them to be threatened.
01:49:33.000 So I just avoided that subject because I'm not brave enough.
01:49:35.000 And I think the reason that the media will attack Proud Boys and Trump and Patriots is because they know we won't kill them.
01:49:42.000 But they don't have the courage to confront homophobia, transphobia, intolerance of Islam because they're pussies.
01:49:51.000 So they're so weak that you don't even have to threaten them.
01:49:54.000 You just have to be threatening and they will cower.
01:49:58.000 Next caller.
01:50:01.000 We finally got a good question in and a proper response with the technology working.
01:50:06.000 Okay, DJ... DJ Khaled!
01:50:09.000 We the best!
01:50:13.000 W-E-T-H-E-B-E-S-T We the best!
01:50:18.000 Are you there, sir?
01:50:22.000 I don't know what that's about.
01:50:23.000 Okay, I'm making a graphic that says the worst Colin show in the world.
01:50:27.000 This is about hotties on the left.
01:50:29.000 I'm trying to take it...
01:50:31.000 You know what?
01:50:31.000 We'll just talk to Emily about Lenin.
01:50:34.000 Hottie's on the left though.
01:50:35.000 Liz Plank is the winner of that one.
01:50:38.000 I would tolerate her politics just to be able to touch her butt cheek once.
01:50:43.000 Just like this.
01:50:44.000 I would listen to her talk about Trump and feminism for four hours if I could just go boink and just boink her butt with my finger.
01:50:52.000 One butt poke.
01:50:52.000 Not in the butthole!
01:50:53.000 Just the butt cheek.
01:50:54.000 With clothes on?
01:50:56.000 Oh yeah!
01:50:57.000 I could be wearing a snowsuit.
01:50:59.000 I came wearing a snowmobile suit in July, sweating my ass off, drinking hot vodka, and just... With, like, those gloves with, like, the finger that you could use your iPhone with?
01:51:09.000 Yeah.
01:51:09.000 It's like a plastic.
01:51:11.000 Um, so, question about Lennon?
01:51:13.000 Okay.
01:51:14.000 Go ahead, sir.
01:51:15.000 You on there?
01:51:18.000 It's the 715 number.
01:51:19.000 Are you there, sir?
01:51:19.000 Lennon?
01:51:21.000 If you're listening to this to start... There you go.
01:51:23.000 There you go.
01:51:27.000 Hey, actually, my question is about women.
01:51:28.000 So... Go ahead.
01:51:33.000 Do you ever notice that women just love to be barefoot?
01:51:36.000 Like, even at the office, they can't wait to take off their shoes.
01:51:38.000 I don't understand why.
01:51:40.000 Yeah, that drives me nuts.
01:51:44.000 Also, do you also notice they love shitty music and movies simply because the guy is hot?
01:51:50.000 I noticed that a lot of times guys will be like, oh yeah, Katy Perry's hot, but I don't want to ever fuck with her music.
01:51:56.000 But she seems to be the opposite way with women.
01:51:58.000 I'm just curious what your thoughts are on that.
01:52:02.000 I think a lot of modern women are spoiled.
01:52:04.000 And in the old days, they wear high-heeled shoes all day in the house.
01:52:10.000 Do the vacuuming in the house.
01:52:11.000 Now you go to a wedding, and the dance floor has high-heeled shoes on it for maybe a third of one song, and then it's just...
01:52:21.000 Bare toes everywhere, and it looks so stupid to have this beautiful Academy Awards dress, and then just their toes are on the dance floor all twisting, and then they get black dirt on the bottom.
01:52:32.000 Remember that we saw that woman at the train station the other day?
01:52:35.000 And she takes two steps, she gets out of her Uber, comes down the stairs, and then stops and takes off her shoes.
01:52:41.000 And they weren't even normal high heels, they were wedges.
01:52:43.000 But she's like, no, these aren't comfortable, I'll just plop, plop, plop, plop.
01:52:46.000 This is like three in the afternoon too, it's not like four in the morning.
01:52:49.000 But you always see them too, drunk,
01:52:51.000 Not just leaving a wedding, but walking around in bars with their shoes in their hand, their dirty feet, walking in the dog shit and syringes and glass.
01:52:58.000 Can you not tolerate some pain?
01:53:00.000 Oh yeah, you try it.
01:53:01.000 I did try it.
01:53:01.000 I walked a mile in high heel shoes for a Jezebel article in 2008.
01:53:05.000 And it's uncomfortable at first, but you get over it.
01:53:08.000 Ladies, do you know how painful it is to wear a suit with a tie in New York City?
01:53:15.000 Yesterday, we were in the city yesterday, 95 degrees it was, and I was wearing a suit, dying.
01:53:22.000 We're going from meeting to meeting.
01:53:23.000 I'm cheap, so I'm not taking cabs.
01:53:25.000 I'm walking like five blocks.
01:53:26.000 You should have seen my armpit rings.
01:53:28.000 And in the subways, the air-conditioned subways, that heat has to go somewhere, so it goes on to the tracks and the station.
01:53:35.000 So the station is molten lava.
01:53:37.000 When you're on the platform waiting for a train, it's gotta be 100 degrees.
01:53:40.000 And you're sitting there with your neck like this.
01:53:42.000 So we're uncomfortable in order to look decent and have a modicum of decorum.
01:53:46.000 Can you not just, like, why are you always barefoot everywhere?
01:53:52.000 Especially at home in the house.
01:53:54.000 God damn it.
01:53:57.000 It's not attractive at all.
01:53:58.000 And men, I don't want to see your fucking toes ever.
01:54:02.000 Wear Chuck Taylors to the beach.
01:54:05.000 There are so many man toes this summer in New York City that I'm going to start, I'm going to have a heart attack.
01:54:12.000 I can't take it anymore.
01:54:13.000 I'm going to have a fart attack and start farting on some feet.
01:54:17.000 What do you think of that?
01:54:19.000 Alright, Devin, this is about Howard Stern.
01:54:21.000 You're on the air.
01:54:22.000 Hi, Devin.
01:54:25.000 Hey, you mentioned Howard Stern yesterday.
01:54:28.000 It had me thinking about just how far we've come with what's considered mainstream comedy.
01:54:35.000 Howard Stern used to have the head of the KKK on regularly.
01:54:39.000 Yeah.
01:54:40.000 And he used to make girls, like famous women, sit on the Sibian.
01:54:46.000 Like a horse saddle that basically just makes them come.
01:54:46.000 Yeah.
01:54:50.000 Yeah.
01:54:51.000 Yeah.
01:54:52.000 He had the Grand Poobah, the KKK, he had him, gave him a bunch of cards and they said like Eskimo, black person, gay, Jew.
01:55:00.000 And he had to order them in, in levels of disgustingness.
01:55:04.000 So like gays were above mulattoes, I think.
01:55:08.000 And he had a whole,
01:55:09.000 And it was a great way to lampoon the idiocy of racism.
01:55:12.000 You could never do that today.
01:55:14.000 And what's worse is Howard Stern, as comedy gets flushed down the toilet, he's sitting there with everyone else, flushing it.
01:55:21.000 He's a cuck.
01:55:23.000 He's going on The View and saying, I don't know who, that was old me.
01:55:26.000 I hate that guy.
01:55:27.000 He was so arrogant.
01:55:28.000 Ugh.
01:55:29.000 Gross.
01:55:30.000 I hate free speech.
01:55:31.000 You know what he said about Alex Jones?
01:55:33.000 He goes, well, free speech doesn't include hate speech, and it doesn't include no consequences.
01:55:38.000 And he threw Alex Jones under the bus.
01:55:39.000 This is a guy who had been fined by the FCC, probably to the tune of millions.
01:55:44.000 He was regularly paying $100,000, $200,000 fines for the things he said.
01:55:49.000 And then, because Alex Jones had an unfortunate guest, made a dumb mistake seven years ago about Sandy Hook, he should not have a platform.
01:55:59.000 Is what Howard Stern said.
01:56:00.000 What a pussy.
01:56:02.000 You know, the only thing worse than things going to shit is seeing people stand by and watch it all go to shit and going, good, hey, better you than me.
01:56:11.000 Fuck you, Howard Stern, you pussy, cuck, hypocrite.
01:56:16.000 Next.
01:56:18.000 We're running out of time, I gotta wrap this up.
01:56:21.000 Tommy in the left or right pillars.
01:56:24.000 Yo, Tommy.
01:56:25.000 Tommy, 513?
01:56:28.000 What's up, Tommy?
01:56:29.000 Yo.
01:56:30.000 Yo.
01:56:31.000 Boom, boom, ching, ching, booga, booga, ching.
01:56:34.000 Boom, boom, ching, ching, booga, booga, ching.
01:56:36.000 Oh, sir, you seem to have the radio on and it's playing All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix.
01:56:41.000 Do you think you could turn off your radio?
01:56:43.000 Hold on.
01:56:44.000 Let me turn it down.
01:56:45.000 Yeah.
01:56:46.000 Yeah, I'll turn it down.
01:56:47.000 Great song.
01:56:50.000 Hey, man.
01:56:52.000 You know, early on, you guys, you know, I was pretty much red-pilled by Gavin.
01:56:58.000 No more fossil fuels, free healthcare for illegals, which they say at a debate in Spanish, abortions a day after the baby's born,
01:57:25.000 I mean, why show up for work anymore?
01:57:28.000 They're doing all our hard work.
01:57:30.000 It's sick.
01:57:32.000 You know, I'm reminded of Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols.
01:57:35.000 He was talking about Princess Diana.
01:57:37.000 And he said, he said, everything we did to mock the monarchy with God bless the Queen and all that, God save the Queen.
01:57:44.000 He goes, Princess Diana did so much better at smashing the monarchy than we did.
01:57:49.000 And I feel the same way with these four horsewomen of the apocalypse.
01:57:52.000 They're doing such a good job of destroying the DNC.
01:57:55.000 We can almost relax.
01:57:56.000 The thing that scares me though is,
01:57:58.000 That we still have these lies that catch so much wind.
01:58:03.000 Like that cover of the Daily Mail the other day where they show Trump and Epstein together at Mar-a-Lago, which Trump, I believe, owns?
01:58:11.000 Yeah, he owns that, doesn't he?
01:58:12.000 So yeah, a billionaire was at my awesome country club where anyone can join if they have 300 grand.
01:58:19.000 And yeah, we came across each other.
01:58:20.000 I also kicked him out for being inappropriate with the masseuse, which isn't mentioned.
01:58:26.000 And so I know that people are seeing that and believing it.
01:58:28.000 So they've resorted to total and utter lies, and I just don't like that, especially with women, I'm afraid to say, they catch.
01:58:35.000 Like this whole lie that he said, these immigrant congresswomen need to go back where they came from.
01:58:42.000 He didn't say that.
01:58:43.000 He said, hey, Ilhan Omar, you come from Somalia, the worst place on earth.
01:58:47.000 You're coming here and saying we suck?
01:58:48.000 Why don't you go fix Somalia, if you're so great at fixing places?
01:58:51.000 Why did you come here, if it's such a horrible place?
01:58:55.000 He didn't say, go back where you came from, Docky.
01:58:57.000 But people believe that because they read Mediaite and HuffPo and BuzzFeed.
01:59:03.000 Like adults read those.
01:59:05.000 I'm so embarrassed when I see adults talk about Daily Beast and BuzzFeed.
01:59:08.000 Those are for little kids.
01:59:10.000 They're for college students.
01:59:12.000 I don't even think BuzzFeed expects...
01:59:14.000 Adults to read those.
01:59:15.000 We're like Vox.
01:59:17.000 Or Vox.
01:59:18.000 Vox is like Vagina Fox.
01:59:18.000 You know what?
01:59:19.000 If you're 20, yeah, go nuts.
01:59:21.000 Read Vox.
01:59:22.000 And little girls, read pin-up magazines.
01:59:25.000 Read Tiger Beat.
01:59:26.000 Go put up a picture of some Korean boy band on your wall.
01:59:29.000 Great, great, great.
01:59:30.000 That's little kid stuff.
01:59:31.000 It's wonderful.
01:59:32.000 Read Huffington Post if you're 20.
01:59:34.000 Yeah, yeah, shake your fists.
01:59:35.000 I love it.
01:59:36.000 Go over there.
01:59:37.000 But adults?
01:59:40.000 Now we got a TikTok from Portland, Maine.
01:59:44.000 He's offering us guys have talked about.
01:59:46.000 I don't know.
01:59:47.000 It's auto screener.
01:59:48.000 You don't need to do these introductions.
01:59:50.000 Just take the fucking call.
01:59:51.000 Hey caller.
01:59:53.000 What's up, dude?
01:59:53.000 Hey guys, need to know what the best hangover cure is.
01:59:59.000 I'm really suffering today.
02:00:01.000 And Pat wants to know where his coffee is.
02:00:05.000 Pat wants to know where his coffee is?
02:00:08.000 Maybe we own coffee?
02:00:10.000 I don't, I don't know anything about that.
02:00:12.000 I don't, we don't actually sell Covfefe coffee.
02:00:15.000 No.
02:00:15.000 But, um, the best hangover cure, sir, there's all these lies.
02:00:19.000 A lot of lies out there.
02:00:21.000 Frankly.
02:00:21.000 A lot of lies.
02:00:22.000 A lot of lies.
02:00:24.000 And they'll tell you, they say the research is conclusive.
02:00:27.000 And they'll say all those hangover cures, they just basically simulate the same thing, which is caffeine and hydration.
02:00:34.000 That's all a lie.
02:00:35.000 They spent billions, billions, with B.
02:00:42.000 With a B. Hair of the dog, my friend.
02:00:43.000 I know the last thing you want is beer.
02:00:46.000 It's like if you had sex 300 times and your penis was worn raw because you got Blue Chew at bluechew.com using the promo code GAVIN.
02:00:53.000 Nice.
02:00:53.000 The last thing you'd want to do is have sex.
02:00:55.000 So when you punish yourself and you feel like hell, the last thing you want is to get drunk.
02:00:59.000 Of course.
02:01:01.000 Don't get drunk, have a beer.
02:01:04.000 Have a beer.
02:01:05.000 Now what's going on with your body is they go, all right, we gotta get rid of these toxins, we're gonna punish them, we're oozing out garbage.
02:01:11.000 A hangover, by the way, is your liver's cleaning your blood, right?
02:01:15.000 But you give it all this extra work, all this extra stuff to clean.
02:01:18.000 So it starts going, I need water to clean blood, I'm gonna start taking water from other parts of the body, including the brain.
02:01:24.000 So your brain doesn't have the normal amount of water, it gets dehydrated, it hurts.
02:01:27.000 Now, when you have a beer, your body goes, what?
02:01:30.000 He's not done?
02:01:31.000 Okay, stop the cleanup.
02:01:33.000 Hey, cleanup crew, stop, stop.
02:01:34.000 Everyone stop.
02:01:35.000 Then you have that beer and they say, we'll get them later.
02:01:38.000 Now you still have to suffer, but suffer when you're asleep.
02:01:41.000 So just milk beers.
02:01:43.000 Maybe have like five.
02:01:44.000 So start right now.
02:01:46.000 It's like, what is it?
02:01:47.000 Four o'clock?
02:01:48.000 Have maybe five more beers.
02:01:50.000 Five more beers, frankly.
02:01:53.000 Until you go to bed at 10 p.m., nice and early, and most of the suffering will happen while you're asleep.
02:01:58.000 You'll probably wake up with dehars, the horrors, the terrors, and you'll think all these horrible things.
02:02:04.000 You'll see your family members dying and you'll think about getting sued to death and being arrested and going to prison for something you didn't do.
02:02:09.000 All that horrific stuff will happen, but at least it'll happen when you're lying down and you can get on with your day.
02:02:15.000 All right, we're running out of time.
02:02:16.000 We got two minutes left in the card here.
02:02:17.000 We got Anonymous from Wheelchair Madrid.
02:02:21.000 Ryan's biggest fan.
02:02:22.000 Oh, go on.
02:02:25.000 Someone thinks Ryan is smart.
02:02:27.000 Hello.
02:02:27.000 Hi there.
02:02:29.000 Hello.
02:02:32.000 You're somebody who likes Ryan?
02:02:33.000 I'm Renata from Spain.
02:02:34.000 I'm Ryan's biggest fan.
02:02:36.000 I did all these memes about Ryan getting fired.
02:02:39.000 Oh, yeah.
02:02:39.000 But for some reason, I cannot tag Gavin because I guess he blocked me or something.
02:02:45.000 And the biggest news, like the breaking news, is that I'm a female who lived three years in the Middle East.
02:02:51.000 Thank you.
02:02:52.000 Yep.
02:03:02.000 Yeah, and basically, oh, because I was studying there and I really liked it, because if you are basically not a retard, like, you don't become friends with people you wouldn't be friends in your country, then everything is fine.
02:03:16.000 Where in the Middle East are we talking?
02:03:20.000 Turkey.
02:03:22.000 Okay, where Pippa Becca was raped and dismembered.
02:03:25.000 Oh yeah, and they are very, they are actually very ashamed of that.
02:03:31.000 Yeah, they should be!
02:03:34.000 But doesn't Turkey suck?
02:03:35.000 Yeah, I mean they are, and like, those were the best years in my life, and the Turks are the kind of people that if they are your friend, they are really your friend until the end, so... Are you Muslim?
02:03:50.000 No.
02:03:51.000 Huh.
02:03:52.000 So you're saying I should give Turkey a chance.
02:03:56.000 It is delicious.
02:03:57.000 Indeed.
02:03:58.000 No.
02:04:00.000 Thanks for the call.
02:04:01.000 Best food, best everything, but if you don't feel like going, then it's your... I mean, I watch your show, I don't agree with everything you say, but I think it's... what you do is important and that humor is important.
02:04:14.000 Thank you very much for calling.
02:04:16.000 Thank you.
02:04:17.000 Oh, by the way, by the way, one last thing.
02:04:19.000 I remember that show in which you talked about your father, that he had to sleep with his siblings on some... on only a single bed.
02:04:27.000 Yes.
02:04:30.000 Yeah, okay.
02:04:31.000 Basically, I have to sleep with my sister and my grandma on a single bed.
02:04:36.000 And this is quite common over here.
02:04:39.000 Okay, so no wonder you like Turkey.
02:04:40.000 Your life sucks.
02:04:41.000 Yeah, and we don't get to have our rooms.
02:04:46.000 Like, the other day I wanted to play some PlayStation in my living room's TV.
02:04:52.000 I'm already 30, you know, but I live with my mom.
02:04:55.000 And she said, OK, and I said the TV is mine.
02:04:58.000 So I want to play some PlayStation.
02:04:59.000 And she says, OK, the house is mine.
02:05:01.000 Then just go to the street and try to play with your PlayStation and your TV.
02:05:05.000 So this is the way things are.
02:05:08.000 OK, thanks for calling.
02:05:09.000 Best of luck.
02:05:10.000 Thank you.
02:05:11.000 Bye.
02:05:11.000 Bye.
02:05:12.000 OK, but don't block me.
02:05:12.000 Bye bye now.
02:05:13.000 Bye bye.
02:05:13.000 We won't block you.
02:05:14.000 Bye bye.
02:05:14.000 Bye.
02:05:15.000 Well, that was a wake up call.
02:05:17.000 I used to say that the West is the best and Turkey sucks and everything.
02:05:20.000 But that caller just made it very clear that Spain also sucks.
02:05:24.000 So, let's include Spain in the East, carve out a little section there.
02:05:29.000 Sorry Spain, you just got kicked out of the West is the best, because it sounds like it really blows over there.
02:05:35.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
02:05:39.000 Goodbye.