In this episode of the podcast, we talk about how to deal with a hangover, and what to do when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. We also talk about the funniest thing we've ever dreamt about, and the weirdest thing our brains have ever thought about. We hope you enjoy this episode, and we'd be grateful if you left us a five star review on Apple Podcasts! 5 Star Potential: 5 stars is much appreciated and really helps spread the word about the podcast. Please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our other shows Comedy Bang! and The Dark Side Of... Comedy. We post polls, questions and thoughts on both socials and the results/comments are featured on the episodes as well! Send your voice messages to sws@whatiwatchedtonight.co.uk and we'll get them on the show. Thanks again for listening your continued support is so appreciated. Timestamps: 5:00 - How many people in the world want to be millionaires? 8 - What do you dream of being a millionaire? 10 - How much money would you like to be rich? 12:30 - What are you dreamt of being rich? 16:00- How many dollars do people want? 18:30- What would you dream about? 20:40 - What is the funnier than a million dollars? 25:00, how many people would you want? 27:30, what do you want to become millionaires? 36:00 What's your legs have two legs? 38: What's a baby with four legs? 39:00 How many legs? 40:00? 45,000? 49, what's a billion dollars? 50,000, 5 legs? 6? 6, 5? 5, 6,000 legs? 5? 7,000 feet? 6.5, 6? 7? 8, 5, 4, 4? 8? 7.5? 8.2, 6.2? 5.4, 5. 5.2. 6. 5? 6 A baby's legs? 6.4? 5. A baby is a baby's got a leg? 7.6? 6? 8.5?? 7? A baby has 2 legs? 7 8? 9.5 4.5 ? This is the new Where's the beef?
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:40.000By the way, no disrespect to bricklayers.
00:00:42.000The awesome thing about a bricklayer is after he's done an eight hour shift, he looks and he can see, wow, I accomplished something.
00:00:48.000If you work in HR or you're the social media rep for a pharmaceutical company who updates their Facebook, you can't really look back and go, I improved the world after my eight hour shift.
00:01:36.000So, you gotta give the bourbon time to chill.
00:01:59.000Like the guy I met in Universal Studios, the bartender goes, the southerner goes, I came up with a thing I got from my buddy and I got turned on to Maker's Mark 2, dude.
00:02:30.000But bourbon beer is a good pattern, because the beer really hydrates you.
00:02:35.000I know they say it doesn't, but people in the Tour de France used to just chug beer when they would get a break, because over the long term it obviously dehydrates you because it makes you piss a lot.
00:02:45.000But in the short term, you get some stuff in there, some water, and it gives the bourbon time to ferment.
00:02:55.000And you'll go, I need another bourbon.
00:02:56.000But then you have a beer, and you're like, oh, that previous bourbon's catching up to me.
00:03:24.000Like one night, I had this brilliant joke that I thought is gonna become license plates, and t-shirts, and stickers, and it's just the funniest thing ever.
00:03:36.000And it is, how many dollars do people want?
00:05:21.000Anyway, you think all of this is brilliant and you write it down sometimes, but you wake up and you go, no dude, the riddle doesn't say legs.
00:05:30.000Cause in my dream state I was, I was thinking, what do you have fucking six legs if you lean on a table?
00:05:36.000But the riddle doesn't say that, dumbass.
00:05:40.000The riddle says, what starts on all fours, then is on two, and ends on three.
00:06:33.000So someone comes up with these criteria and they go, so just rifle through infinity and come up with my criteria.
00:06:42.000And you go, okay, I'll be back in one trillion years as I rifle through infinity.
00:06:47.000It goes back to what I was saying about the Rubik's Cube in that other podcast where would you rather be in prison for a year or they just give you a Rubik's Cube and you can come out when you solve it.
00:07:02.000Because it's possible that you're not smart enough, and that includes me, to do a Rubik's Cube.
00:07:08.000You could be in there for fucking 15 years.
00:07:10.000Like, what if they said, uh, you can come out in a year or till you throw a fastball at 90 miles an hour.
00:07:16.000Now you can train and train and train.
00:07:19.000But I'm not sure it's possible for you to ever, ever go work out, go work with Mickey Calloway, go live at Noah Syndergaard's house, go get lessons from DeGrom.
00:07:32.000I don't think you could ever get to 90 miles an hour.
00:08:50.000I mean, I tried it for a long time and there was just no
00:08:55.000You can tell when there's no future with something.
00:08:56.000I think as a parent, your job is to introduce your kids to a ton of shit and see what sticks.
00:09:04.000Now, Michelle Malkin would probably say, no dummy, you have to really... no one likes the piano for the first two years and then you start getting good at it and then your kid's a child prodigy.
00:13:24.000Well, anyway... But what he does is like in Apatow's thing, like I saw one episode and this happened to be like a wedding or something and they made it seem like during a wedding you go and get baptized in a cross-shaped pool or something.
00:13:38.000It was like, that's not part of Christianity that I know.
00:14:26.000Yet, they preach to you and tell you how to live your life, and Trump is a loser, and you're stupid, and we need more taxes, and they make up facts, like they say that Trump is using the presidency as a big, giant infomercial.
00:15:26.000I love that he said at a steakhouse when someone comes up with the menu and they mention the fish and he goes, why would I want something that's less good?
00:15:38.000So yeah, all the other ones though, they can't wait to tell you how to live your life and you're like, you have one kid at best, like Pete Holmes or
00:15:48.000He does that thing that I fucking hate.
00:15:50.000I hate hate has no home here signs, and I hate when Jewish people put their names in tons of brackets.
00:15:57.000So the super alt-right Nazi dudes, whenever they say something's Jewish, they put it in brackets, like say they thought Budweiser was run by Jews, and they'd say, well it's no coincidence that Budweiser, bracket bracket bracket bracket bracket bracket, is cheaper in Israel or something like that.
00:17:30.000I'm looking at Gary Goldman and I'm thinking, didn't you have to leave comedy for several years because you had a nervous breakdown and you were suicidal and you had to go to a loony bin and live at your parents' house?
00:17:42.000I'm not really sure you should be telling everyone in the world how to run their comedy career.
00:17:49.000I mean, he's not a particularly successful comedian himself, but he's sitting there telling everyone else how to live.
00:17:59.000Or who's that guy, that libertarian guy with no kids that everyone loves, who's got the tacky suits, who lives in the middle of nowhere in Nevada, and he killed his mother?
00:18:27.000You always gotta look up who owns these things, who runs them.
00:18:30.000Be curious about who's telling you how to live your life.
00:18:33.000Um, Ezra Klein is just a nerdy fucking turd blogger who is just an intern and then he was with the Washington Post and MSNBC just, just hammering away on the keyboard.
00:18:47.000And, uh, he started Vox, where they explain the news to you.
00:19:35.000Don't deserve their success and For many of them it's not genetic or it's not hard work It's like they got it from their daddy now two-thirds of the world's billionaires are bootstrap billionaires But they like to focus on the ones who got it from from mommy and daddy, which is relatively rare I always my favorite entrepreneur as far that goes is Ralph Lauren Multi-millionaire used to sleep in the Bronx with his brothers in the same bed.
00:19:59.000I think his real name is like Harville Abinowitz
00:20:03.000Lipschitz, I believe was his last name.
00:20:05.000Anyway, Ezra Klein's married to Annie Lowry, and he sits there with Vox, telling us all how to live and how to be a better person.
00:20:15.000This isn't on their Wikipedia anymore, but it used to say, Annie Lowry's or Ezra Klein's, it used to say, under personal life, it said, Lowry is married to Ezra Klein, and they're two rescue dogs.
00:21:47.000But it's amazing when you look up, even people at the New York Post talking about the Proud Boys and stuff, you look up the authors and it's some cunty little babysitter who's a little kid talking about what an alt-right hate group is.
00:22:31.000Don't tell me about the world when I've been in it for half a century!
00:22:34.000Anyway, the crux of this article is...
00:22:39.000That they take on this anti-PC comic and they talk about how sad it is that he still thinks edgy comedy matters and he doesn't understand that you have to be on the right side of history and you can no longer say offensive jokes because that's not how comedy works.
00:22:55.000And the article ends with, Crashing is always trying to understand comedy, where it comes from and what makes some of it good and some of it bad.
00:23:03.000And in MC Middle Headliner, that's the name of that particular episode, the show sees Jason not just as a window into this particular style of comedy, but into a whole world view.
00:23:14.000It doesn't let him get away with anything.
00:23:16.000And when he's ranting about how hard white guys have it nowadays, it lets Ali push back against his nonsense.
00:25:53.000But then there's this other article by this fucking cunt named Liam Evans, who I believe is East Indian.
00:26:04.000He has, again, this goes back to what I was saying with the New York Post, who's preaching to us?
00:26:08.000Is it manic depressive comedians who are on the verge of suicide?
00:26:12.000Is it childless pricks like Ezra Klein, who's more devoted to hammering away at his keyboard than he is to creating a family and giving his poor wife a baby?
00:26:53.000And he wants you to know that we have to really monitor comedy closely because he's an up-and-coming comedian.
00:27:00.000Now, YouTube is very good at getting every single person in the world who's ever stepped on a stage even once as an afterthought.
00:27:07.000There is zero evidence of Liam Evans doing any comedy ever.
00:27:13.000In fact if you look it up you'll find like loom Evans and about 10 guys with names similar doing stand-up that's how easy it is to get on YouTube but no none of him and his tweets have he's talking about John Wayne's racist and homophobic views
00:27:29.000From 1971 in Playboy Magazine, is there anything less relevant than a dead man's antiquated views in 1971?
00:27:38.000And Liam says, it doesn't matter how long ago this interview took place.
00:27:42.000The ideas John Wayne expressed are enjoying a resurgence.
00:27:53.000So anyway, he gets an article in The Independent, and we think of The Independent, you know, it's a lefty magazine, but you go, well, they probably have journalists there who have worked hard and worked their way up.
00:30:51.000I'm trying to tell my kids if you ever get bullied don't try to be witty just say fuck you They're probably not being witty right Yeah, and then you get like if you can't yeah, just say fuck you you're right all right So you got to see this article as a new comedian working the circuit I'm appalled at disgusting jokes in quotes creeping back in this that's pretty rich coming from a disgusting joke crawling back into the industry
00:31:15.000He's not crawling back, he's never been.
00:31:20.000Last month I saw Finn Taylor's new stand-up show, When Heresy Met Sally, which made light of sexual harassment, the gender pay gap, and the Me Too movement.
00:31:29.000His intention might as well have been to make us laugh, but I found little to enjoy in this Jim Davidson tribute act.
00:31:37.000What kind of reactionary drivel was I being subjected to in the name of comedy?
00:31:42.000For a while I sat there seething as a room full of doubtless, well-intentioned punters were laughing along with this thinly-veiled rape apologism.
00:31:55.000I know I'm using a lot of swearers in this podcast, but we're gonna be getting sponsors soon and they won't let me be as rude, so I gotta get my yeah-yeahs out.
00:32:05.000Uh, tyrants have always feared ridicule, blah blah blah.
00:32:08.000Alt-right comedy might sound like an oxymoron, but the immensely popular, uh, but the immense popularity of internet shit posters such as PewDiePie and Sargon of Akkad.
00:32:31.000And he might have done that, yeah, as a joke, but he was recommending like 40 different YouTubers, and one of them that he recommended happened to have liked some sort of potentially alt-right joke song.
00:32:44.000And then Sargon of Akkad, what the hell did he do wrong?
00:32:48.000I think he said he called someone N-words, or called someone Nazis, but he was making fun of Nazis, saying, you're the supposed N-words that you hate so much.
00:32:58.000So turning their own vernacular back on them.
00:33:05.000And this guy, this dunce, who Independent UK, and you know, you go to Independent UK and the graphic design's very good.
00:33:12.000So if you're not curious enough to go look up the author, you just go, oh, you imagine like some 38-year-old man with like a dress shirt on who's been doing comedy for a while speaking as a person of color in an irredeemably racist culture.
00:34:37.000A speech impediment due to MS, and I'm in a chair.
00:34:43.000So please avoid those subjects, at least for the Brooklyn show that's at the Tea Tree Lounge on March 3rd.
00:34:55.000Could you write that out of your set for that particular... I know I'm speaking more articulate than before, but when I get riled up, I start to get into like a cadence, man.
00:35:53.000And I hate when you get on the plane and you have to go find the guy that's in your friend's seat and say, hey, man, I'll pay you 20 bucks.
00:35:58.000We switch and then they switch and then their bag is back there and they have a shitty middle seat.
00:36:23.000Five rows away from me and I have to sit there negotiating with all these people.
00:36:27.000Anyway, to avoid that pain in the ass, I would pretend to be severely handicapped.
00:36:31.000And my buddy would come up and he'd say, hey man, I would have to say stepbrother because we don't look similar at all.
00:36:38.000My stepbrother, and I go, hi, I'm number one!
00:36:43.000And I'd have my wrists sort of bent in, in a lobster boy kind of way, and I'd be doing that Rain Man thing where I'm looking at the ground and swaying back and forth.
00:36:50.000And my buddy would go, it's important that my stepbrother sits next to me.
00:37:08.000And then one time, and I'm especially unproud of this one, I was walking by the flight attendant and as I passed her and she did my ticket, I said again, I held up my ticket and I went, I'm number one!
00:38:14.000I'm sitting on the plane, and I'm bobbing back and forth, and then this handicapped guy, genuinely handicapped guy, my age, wearing a Hulk t-shirt, is with his mother.
00:39:14.000You know, you make a deal with the devil.
00:39:16.000You got to pay the price and go to hell.
00:39:19.000But then, inevitably what would happen on that plane ride is I'd sort of get bored of talking like that, and then I would slowly get better at enunciating.
00:39:31.000And then he'd sort of be like, hey, you just said a big word.
00:39:36.000And then I would go, yeah, you just, you have to concentrate.
00:40:36.000Should this guy be getting involved in comedy?
00:40:38.000It's almost like painters being obsessed with photorealism and saying that someone painted a tree where the lighting wasn't perfectly reflective of where the sun was at the time.
00:40:49.000Don't get involved in art if you are this obsessed with rules.
00:43:11.000Sometimes this will mean risking the accusation of being a prude or a killjoy.
00:43:16.000Anyway, he gets into the latest, this is the important part here, the latest government guidelines would now, hold on I gotta get the right accent,
00:43:26.000The latest government guidelines would now seem to confirm that this kind of Islamophobia, dressed up as humour, should be subject to investigation.
00:43:33.000It simply isn't good enough for comedians to cry free speech after every hateful joke as though the laws that govern the rest of us don't apply to them.
00:44:01.000It is not reserved for whether the Rolling Stones are better than the Beatles, and yes, they are.
00:44:09.000Oh, by the way, speaking of people preaching, the comedians preaching, I also meant to mention all these ex-Nazis like Christopher Picciolini.
00:44:17.000I talked about this on another podcast.
00:44:19.000But where these guys used to be Nazi skinheads and then they, you know, they're reformed and then they start these TV shows or these talks where they tell the rest of us what's wrong with hate.
00:44:30.000And you're sitting there going, I've never, I've never fag bashed or spray painted a swastika anywhere.
00:45:55.000And so we got him, we got Bin Laden, the doctor said, hey guys, you're welcome, and then we went, fuck you, and left him to rot in a Pakistani prison, which I'm sure is 99.99, it's probably 100% Muslim.
00:46:07.000And that guy is the guy who helped the Americans kill, people don't understand too, in Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden is a rock star.
00:46:15.000Like you wear Osama Bin Laden t-shirts.
00:46:55.000When they're a traitor against ISIS, they're a good traitor.
00:46:59.000Meanwhile, we're talking about bringing back that British chick who went over, joined ISIS, fucked about five different guys, has all these different kids with ISIS guys, and they're saying she wants to come back and she's willing to do jail time.
00:47:19.000So, okay, I'm happy to have her come back if she gets killed.
00:47:22.000Like, John Walker was his name, John Walker Lynd, the other guy, the bearded white guy terrorist, he came back and he didn't get the death penalty.
00:47:30.000The deal is, if you're a traitor and you start shooting American soldiers, you die.
00:47:37.000And the reason we don't want her back is because she'll bring her jihadist sons.
00:47:41.000And you know that the fathers will eventually have some dumb rule where they're allowed to visit their sons.
00:47:48.000Like the guy, what was the Canadian guy we brought back, who Justin Trudeau awarded him 10 million dollars, Omar Khadr.
00:47:57.000He tried to kill many Canadian and American Marines.
00:48:00.000I think he blinded one of them in one eye.
00:48:03.000And we air-helicoptered him to some German hospital, cured him, and then felt so bad for putting him in Abu Ghraib that the Prime Minister awarded him $10 million for the inconvenience of being held captive as a POW.
00:48:45.000Hey, I like the way that your hair moves around in the hair.
00:48:49.000Hey, my name is Gaddafi and I went to Montreal to learn how to speak the English.
00:48:55.000And now I am the English speaker and I know how to say all the words that the people in Quebec say.
00:49:02.000And I talk to the Prime Minister about what we are doing with the retard.
00:49:08.000But he also Trudeau got him prostitutes lots of prostitutes and He got caught by some broad Who was the Attorney General at the time?
00:49:21.000I have a strange take on this you ready for this Mm-hmm bitch shut up
00:49:27.000So she's a former Attorney General and her name is Justice Minister Jordi Wilson-Reboul.
00:49:35.000And she was outraged that this corruption was going on and tried to expose it.
00:49:39.000Trudeau said, put some pressure on her with his top guys and said, bitch, you need to fucking chill out and don't worry about the prostitutes and drop this, okay?
00:50:18.000It's just like there's jack shacks everywhere.
00:50:20.000You go to a strip club in Montreal and the woman doesn't have high heel shoes on, she's barefoot, and she's just the farmer's daughter who, you know, comes from a very libidinous background.
00:50:33.000I don't go to strip clubs ever since I had a daughter, but back when I did, I wanted her to be a little tarnished, like a Puerto Rican single mom with shitty tattoos and droopy tits and maybe like a bleeding toe.
00:50:43.000I spent about 200 bucks once on this fat Asian chick in Montreal at a disgusting strip club called Cafe Cleopat, and she had white fishnets that were red near her toe because she stubbed her toe and it was bleeding a little bit.
00:52:06.000Talk about the tens of thousands of deaths in unnecessary wars or attacks, or when Obama sends down illegal guns to Mexico, him and Eric Holder shave off the serial numbers, remember Fast and Furious, to make guns look bad, and now you're having major killings with these drug cartels warring because they have state-of-the-art weapons that we sent them.
00:52:28.000But this shit about, like, Trump said a pussy joke on a bus 10 years ago, or someone said he was racist who has a history of compulsive lying, or Trudeau got some disgusting death spot at some prostitutes.
00:53:12.000Because there is a war on anyone on the right, and they'll dig up anything.
00:53:16.000I could have had an affair 15 years ago, and I'd get kicked off of Facebook for infidelity.
00:53:21.000I mean, the fact that they're going after Michelle Malkin because she was blasphemous to Pakistanis by showing Muhammad cartoons shows you that it's not about the substance.
00:53:32.000Muhammad cartoons are everywhere, by the way.
00:53:35.000It's about shutting down the right on social media before the elections to make Trump lose and it won't affect whether Trump wins or not because it's just making people pissed off these these fucking Lefties they keep digging their own grave like supporting infanticide and saying yeah abortions are okay a day after the baby's born But I thought that I don't want to hear about Sandy Hook I wanted to hear about Alex Jones said Joe Rogan is a patsy for for Twitter and
00:54:40.000His podcast, Joe and Alex's podcast regularly cracked 10 million.
00:54:45.000And iTunes refuses to acknowledge that.
00:54:47.000So you'll see, they'll list Joe Rogan's top podcasts, and many of them will have numbers that are 3 million, 1.5 million, a fraction of what Alex Jones's are, yet the Alex Jones ones don't register.
00:55:03.000And we just, by the way, this sounds like conspiracy theory shit, but this has all been exploding over the past few days.
00:55:09.000I'm glad I remembered to mention this.
00:55:10.000Project Veritas just discovered that Facebook was developing all these weird algorithms to kill Mike Cernovich.
00:55:16.000Not literally murder him, but make emojis impossible, and forwarding impossible, and all these other different things impossible.
00:55:26.000Then there was a quote by Mr. Nashington, Charlie Nash.
00:55:42.000If you're not on the... And learn to code.
00:55:45.000Learn to code and non-playable character.
00:56:08.000And it's funny that the previous Liam Evans kid, the comedian who's working the circuit, he said satire is an important way to speak truth to power and to talk about the tyranny of a society.
00:56:27.000And here we see criticizing Mark Zuckerberg gets you banned, even if you discuss your ban.
01:01:23.000I was talking about that woman on the bus in Disney World or Disneyland.
01:01:27.000Apparently that's a big deal to get those wrong with the Disney people.
01:01:34.000Because she was sitting on the ground with her daughter, and he assumed she was a babysitter.
01:01:37.000He said, why are these childless babysitters whose job is owning the mag guys on Twitter always so tired?
01:01:43.000They're just constantly exhausted, quote-unquote sick of dealing with racists on the daily, and just generally low energy.
01:01:50.000Part of their inability to argue is that when you hit a point, they don't know, they just go back to being a toddler who's up past your bedtime having a tired spell.
01:01:58.000Anyway, he goes on and on and on, and he's got a point.
01:02:00.000When you talk to these feminists online, they always have this, ugh, humdrum, ugh.
01:02:59.000You know, college students are the ones who made up that whole interrogative tone, where you go, I feel like I'm maybe like, not that intelligent right now.
01:03:08.000And I have to make every statement sound interrogative by coming up at the end.
01:03:15.000I think New Zealand people made that up.
01:03:43.000I've noticed people get really pissed too when you tell them how to pronounce their name or you tell them that their name is spelled wrong.
01:03:48.000Like Steven Crowder's dad is named Darren and it's a weird spelling.
01:05:07.000If you were going to an arm wrestling convention, that would be okay, but now you have the word arms twice in a joke, and for some reason you're not allowed to have the same word twice in a joke.
01:05:27.000Go back to Compound for fuck's sake, the idea of you having your own paid sub-site is retarded!
01:05:33.000Nobody wants to pay multiple companies.
01:05:34.000Compound could help raise the prices, blah blah blah.
01:05:37.000Even Reddit agrees, and he sends me a link on Reddit that has, why isn't Gavin going back to Compound Media, and has three comments.
01:05:47.000So, this is what I mean about these guys.
01:05:51.000Like, I've started a million companies, made millions and millions of dollars, and some child named Joe is telling me how to conduct my career.
01:07:13.000Um, guy writing about being in Disneyland, he said that he liked it, roller coasters are fun, he said he hated show tunes, and the childless couples were everywhere.
01:07:26.000That is true, it is disturbing how many childless couples are at Disneyland.
01:07:30.000That, I mean I like the fact that it's families and they like family values and they like to be in a Howard Stern free zone where there's no fucking dick jokes and everything is clean and wholesome.
01:07:43.000But when you don't have kids and you're just a Disney buff and you have a Mickey Mouse ankle tattoo, like some of them are sort of nu metal looking.
01:07:52.000They'd have like gauges and shit and Mickey Mouse shirts on and we got this app that would show you how long the lineups were and my wife was showing me at 1130 it was jammed like there was still tons of people and still different lineups and oh this rides down to about five minute wait.
01:08:11.000So there's a bunch of people there, and there's no booze at the Magic Kingdom.
01:08:14.000And they check you for liquids when you walk in.
01:08:16.000So there's a bunch of sober adults running around Disneyland.
01:08:20.000Actually, that's how the Proud Boys started.
01:08:22.000Ben Ratner, the engineer at Kumia's show, was a virgin, 24-year-old virgin, who I was trying to make into a man, and he went to Disneyland with his fucking friends, a bunch of 24-year-olds,
01:09:14.000A story that I'll just repeat here that I've told a million times about how I realized my dad's really smart and we don't talk enough.
01:09:20.000I don't take advantage of his giant library brain enough.
01:09:23.000So we were at a Thai restaurant where they're all dressed up with the little, you know, neck collars and I said, uh, Dad, what's the deal with Thailand?
01:09:31.000Is it a monarchy or they have a king still?
01:10:39.000Oh, I'm very enchanted to be on your podcast.
01:10:42.000If I could tell you something that I would recommend that you have maybe some hors d'oeuvres when you walk into the studio, you know, little peanuts or something like that.
01:11:31.000Screaming really loud like a baby and taking advantage of motherly instincts, so then he goes solution give those women something more important to worry about Diseases sort by the average age of death of the disease so focus first on diseases that kill babies Then scream really loudly about those and drown out the ugly sad deranged people and more focus on those diseases is actually a good thing even if it's a bumbling government funding it blah blah blah blah
01:11:56.000So that is the weirdest advice I've ever received.
01:12:00.000What's the number one death for babies?
01:15:06.000You think she's... Yes, she's very smart.
01:15:08.000Unfortunately, her parents are quite Christian and they made it such that she wants to make up for all the terrible things Germany has done.
01:15:17.000So she lets too many refugees in perchance, but she's very... What the fuck?
01:15:22.000How are you staring in the face of the problem and going, Merkel, I love you.
01:15:28.000You're so intelligent, but maybe it's like Merkel is responsible for this problem.
01:15:37.000You know, when you live, when you, I've lived in a lot of different countries and done a lot of traveling and when you meet different people and you, maybe you date a chick in Germany and you go, you know what?
01:15:50.000And then a few days go by, maybe a week, and you go, yeah, we are inexorably different down to our spines.
01:16:00.000That's why when I say the West is the best, I'm taking a big shit on fucking like, actually, I guess Germany is included in the West, but people that would seemingly be Western.
01:18:13.000Like, tell him to stop fucking belittling you on a fucking podcast before I have to come and fucking give him a proper English head kicking and kick his fucking teeth in, mate.
01:19:24.000All right, so that's a nice one from someone who lives in a council estate in East London that you had, a Croydon maybe, that you had to, you played me that like a year ago.
01:19:33.000So you had to travel halfway around the world and dig up something that was basically an antique to find a compliment.
01:19:40.000But okay, Indiana Jones, you're the Indiana Jones of compliments.
01:19:43.000You find them in some abandoned ark in the Aztec forest and then a giant boulder's chasing you.
01:21:19.000I'm at boxing, and we're doing this Strength and Conditioning Day, which is just a way to turn your thighs into AIDS, where you walk like a geriatric for the next two days.
01:21:29.000I don't know why we gotta make our legs so strong.
01:23:03.000I hear you tell him all the time to stop, but he's talking more and more.
01:23:06.000How many times is he going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
01:23:10.000And let's not forget the annoying, hmm, after he inhales.
01:23:16.000Sorry to bash on you Ryan, but stick to the funny impersonations and let Gavin do what he's been doing for years Short concise and confident speaking are not in your wheelhouse Maybe actually listen to the podcast as well.
01:23:29.000So you can comprehend when Gavin repeats the story.
01:24:57.000Oh, I'm not gonna pick on someone whose dog is dying.
01:24:59.000But I gotta say, I think dogs are a substitute for kids and I unfortunately lack empathy when I see people feeling bad about their dog.
01:25:09.000Like I remember when I was a kid, dogs weren't allowed in the house.
01:25:11.000And if I remember this, this dog bit my neighbor's face, like the neighbor's dog bit that same neighbor, the girl, and they just took her out the dog out back and shot it with a 22.
01:25:19.000There was no, then they took her to the hospital.