Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off Money One with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:51.000 I don't know if it's the shot of Fireball talking, but that might be my favorite band.

00:00:56.000 Amel and the Sniffers, starring Amy, I think, Taylor or something.

00:01:02.000 God damn it.

00:01:05.000 The Australian punk scene is better than the New York punk scene in the late 70s, and the same with England's.

00:01:15.000 Pull up some of that video.

00:01:17.000 She's such a wife.

00:01:21.000 Sometimes you think you can get someone like that, and you're wrong.

00:01:23.000 And I love that their car sucks in the video.

00:01:28.000 It's not a Mustang.

00:01:30.000 It's your mom's friend's car after the divorce, and he doesn't have any money.

00:01:48.000 You moved to Australia?

00:01:51.000 Is that the last bachelor's sanity?

00:01:55.000 My cuts infected, folks.

00:01:57.000 I did my own bandaging because the bandages that the doctor put on didn't work.

00:02:02.000 So this could be the end of the devil's right hand.

00:02:11.000 I was watching some fireworks footage.

00:02:13.000 Don't worry, we'll drop July 4th after this.

00:02:16.000 But I was like, these are my people.

00:02:18.000 And then I also got jealous.

00:02:19.000 Why didn't they get fucked up?

00:02:21.000 This is 1-3.

00:02:23.000 You hear about this hockey player today, by the way?

00:02:25.000 Fuck?

00:02:26.000 24 years old.

00:02:28.000 He's in a hot tub.

00:02:29.000 And one of these, this isn't the footage, obviously, but one of these projectiles hit him in the chest dead.

00:02:36.000 He's a dead man.

00:02:43.000 So these could all be deaths.

00:02:47.000 I mean, my problem was flames and heat, but the impact of some of these can really do a number on you.

00:02:53.000 These are all probably Roman candles.

00:02:55.000 I don't know.

00:02:55.000 I was about to downplay it and say it's not dangerous, but here's a tip.

00:03:00.000 Don't take tips from me about danger with fireworks.

00:03:04.000 I'm not a reliable source.

00:03:06.000 I just realized we don't have the sponsors list here, dude.

00:03:10.000 Oh, no.

00:03:11.000 Maybe you can print that out while I blather on about today's New York Post.

00:03:17.000 It's Adams.

00:03:18.000 I don't know if it is.

00:03:20.000 I was shocked to discover that it's between Adams and Shilwa.

00:03:24.000 Whoa.

00:03:27.000 Like, we've always been going for Curtis.

00:03:29.000 I don't trust this guy.

00:03:30.000 He seems like a fake cop.

00:03:33.000 I heard that when he was a cop, he was a whiny, I don't want to say bitch, but like a whiny SJW.

00:03:40.000 He's part of the 100 Black Cops Brigade.

00:03:43.000 And they were always complaining about racism and stuff.

00:03:45.000 He's a lefty cop, which is.

00:03:49.000 Oh, we don't have live reads today because today is not supposed to be a live show.

00:03:53.000 This is a surprise.

00:03:54.000 That's good news.

00:03:55.000 Maybe I should explain what's going on here.

00:03:57.000 So I take a taxi down from the South Bronx to Midtown, which is not cheap, by the way.

00:04:03.000 I think it was $45.

00:04:06.000 And I noticed there's not a lot of traffic in the city.

00:04:10.000 Okay, I guess that's the pandemic.

00:04:12.000 The whole city's gone because of July 4th.

00:04:15.000 They take the whole week off, these lazy New Yorkers.

00:04:17.000 I think New York has a culture of big holidays in the summer because it's so fucking hot and pre-air conditioning.

00:04:22.000 That's what they do.

00:04:23.000 And it's sort of stuck culturally.

00:04:25.000 So anyway, I get to the studio.

00:04:27.000 No one's there.

00:04:29.000 Fucking A. Fucking, what the fuck?

00:04:32.000 So that's why this is a live show.

00:04:35.000 Because I didn't have time to run back and do any pre-recordings.

00:04:38.000 So yeah, we don't need to read sponsors.

00:04:39.000 We'll do a normal live show tomorrow night.

00:04:41.000 Wait, does that mean we won't take calls?

00:04:44.000 We could take calls.

00:04:46.000 Who knows?

00:04:47.000 We'll leave you hanging.

00:04:49.000 We have a special guest in the studio, Mr. Maddie Odell.

00:04:56.000 Gavin, thanks for having me back.

00:04:57.000 That looks like such a fake green screen behind you.

00:05:01.000 No, it's real.

00:05:02.000 It's real.

00:05:02.000 I'm in the studio.

00:05:04.000 Studio 3.

00:05:05.000 No, Studio B for bar.

00:05:07.000 Yes, Studio B for bar.

00:05:08.000 Yes.

00:05:09.000 Maddie's been keeping up with all the local vernacular.

00:05:11.000 Oh, yes.

00:05:12.000 He's well educated.

00:05:13.000 That fucking buck looks like shit with that cheap frame.

00:05:17.000 Look how wrinkly it is.

00:05:18.000 I got to get a new frame for that.

00:05:20.000 So Maddie will be answering all things.

00:05:22.000 I don't know.

00:05:23.000 Tough guy?

00:05:24.000 He's a tough guy.

00:05:27.000 When I told a cop friend I was hanging out with this dude, Maddie, that was in the same precinct as him, he goes, that's a bad guy.

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:37.000 He attacked cops with a knife.

00:05:40.000 And then I said, Maddie, you attack cops with a knife?

00:05:42.000 And you go, no, I had a tendon cutter in my hand.

00:05:48.000 I had a karambit in my hand when I opened the door.

00:05:52.000 I didn't expect to see four cops standing in front of me.

00:05:57.000 So you were prepared to sever their tendons.

00:06:00.000 I mean, that's what that thing does, right?

00:06:03.000 Yeah, that's definitely a dangerous weapon.

00:06:08.000 So yeah, I don't know how I feel about this guy.

00:06:11.000 How do you feel about him?

00:06:13.000 Because you weirdly are kind of like an ex-con who is kind of pro-cop.

00:06:18.000 I'm not going to say you're pro-cop, but you know cops.

00:06:22.000 There's a reason for cops.

00:06:24.000 Yeah, you got cops in your family, right?

00:06:25.000 Yes.

00:06:26.000 More than one.

00:06:27.000 So what do you think of Eric Adams?

00:06:30.000 I don't know too much about his background, but it's kind of stunning that it's him and Curtis Sleewa.

00:06:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:40.000 I'm stunned too.

00:06:41.000 Here was another funny article I saw today.

00:06:45.000 This little girl, she's five years old.

00:06:47.000 Good news.

00:06:49.000 You're coming from Somalia?

00:06:52.000 No, Ethiopia.

00:06:53.000 You have a huge tumor.

00:06:54.000 Good news.

00:06:55.000 We're going to fly you to America and remove it.

00:06:58.000 Oh my God.

00:06:59.000 Thank you.

00:06:59.000 This thing is obviously a huge burden.

00:07:02.000 Here we go.

00:07:04.000 We're done.

00:07:06.000 What?

00:07:08.000 Well, we removed the tumor.

00:07:11.000 You took a lot of it off.

00:07:13.000 I don't want to look at gift horse in my mouth, but you took about 50% of it off.

00:07:21.000 And I, look, if I stayed in Ethiopia, I would have died.

00:07:24.000 So I'm not complaining.

00:07:26.000 But you said when someone says we're going to remove a tumor, it's usually implied 100% of the tumor is going to be gone.

00:07:34.000 This is like a good majority.

00:07:38.000 Good portion.

00:07:42.000 The tumor, which is called the bald eagle.

00:07:48.000 Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.

00:07:54.000 So yeah, this is a weird show.

00:07:55.000 It's kind of live.

00:07:56.000 We might take calls.

00:07:58.000 We won't deprive you of tomorrow's live.

00:08:00.000 We will probably have a Friday show.

00:08:03.000 We've got Maddie on deck as a consultant.

00:08:10.000 I assume everyone's discovered libs of TikTok because it is absolute gold.

00:08:17.000 And it shows you, like on the one hand, I go, ha ha ha ha, this is funny.

00:08:21.000 Millennials are retards.

00:08:23.000 On the other hand, I go, is there something more sinister going on?

00:08:27.000 Is TikTok normalizing mental illness?

00:08:31.000 And is a Chinese-owned company trying to destroy the West?

00:08:35.000 So we can get real heavy on this if we drop acid, or we can just have a beer and laugh at these pathetic fucking, the worst generation ever, I think.

00:08:45.000 Right?

00:08:46.000 I think that I would like validation for my gender identity.

00:08:50.000 Are some pictures of me?

00:08:52.000 No.

00:08:52.000 My pronouns are it and they.

00:08:56.000 My gender is none.

00:08:58.000 I saw Sandy the other day.

00:09:00.000 Oh, yeah, what was it up to?

00:09:02.000 Oh, it was talking about how it wants to be a clown.

00:09:05.000 That sounds mean to me.

00:09:06.000 Yeah.

00:09:07.000 Like, remember the other Kumiya show where we were like, oh, it's washing itself.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, that's not a good thing.

00:09:13.000 It's not good to be an it.

00:09:16.000 Damn, girl.

00:09:18.000 I enjoy dressing in a more feminine, I guess, way.

00:09:23.000 But I don't want to be associated with gender.

00:09:28.000 I enjoy looking like a clown.

00:09:31.000 I kind of be a job.

00:09:34.000 That's fantastic.

00:09:36.000 I'm fucking built different.

00:09:38.000 Oh, that's a thing they say.

00:09:40.000 I'm built different.

00:09:42.000 I noticed that when I laugh, it hurts here.

00:09:43.000 And when the doctor was checking to see if I'm infected, he kept pushing here.

00:09:47.000 Is this the thing with infections?

00:09:50.000 Sounds like a rib infection.

00:09:52.000 Didn't you have a rib injury?

00:09:54.000 No, he put a stethoscope on my back, and then he went, breathe in.

00:09:58.000 And then he goes, does this hurt?

00:10:00.000 And he went like that.

00:10:02.000 My belly.

00:10:04.000 He had a yarmulke on.

00:10:06.000 Maybe he knew I was a Nazi.

00:10:08.000 That's the weirdest statement of 2021, but that about sums it up, where we are as a nation.

00:10:14.000 My fucking wife lost another friend today.

00:10:17.000 Really?

00:10:18.000 Who said, yeah, it makes sense that we need a break from you.

00:10:22.000 And she's like, first of all, I'm not defending the Proud Boys.

00:10:25.000 That's not my thing.

00:10:25.000 That's my husband's thing.

00:10:26.000 Secondly, what do you want me to do?

00:10:28.000 Divorce him?

00:10:29.000 Because he started a multiracial men's club on a lark?

00:10:33.000 And they go, that club, his words, his hateful rhetoric, started a hate group that represents a division in this country today.

00:10:41.000 And she's like, what about the black guys?

00:10:43.000 What about Proud Boys Israel?

00:10:45.000 And she's really pissed off at me now because she's like, why am I defending your thing?

00:10:49.000 I don't even know, like, Proud Boys Israel?

00:10:52.000 Like, when was that formed?

00:10:53.000 Now I have to be an expert on your stupid club.

00:10:57.000 And then the girl goes, ready for this?

00:10:59.000 This is the state of...

00:11:02.000 And these aren't millennials, obviously.

00:11:04.000 My wife's 47.

00:11:07.000 She goes, anyone, anyone who supports the Proud Boys, trivialize, or no, sorry, anyone who supports the Proud Boys is okay with my grandparents dying in the Holocaust.

00:11:22.000 Who said Holocaust jokes aren't funny?

00:11:25.000 What are you talking about?

00:11:28.000 So Proud Boys Israel are okay with the Holocaust.

00:11:32.000 Reminds me of a joke my dad always says.

00:11:34.000 He goes, what's the difference between this fat part on a woman's arm and the Holocaust?

00:11:39.000 You can make jokes about the Holocaust.

00:11:44.000 I never asked you your pronouns, Maddie.

00:11:48.000 Maddie.

00:11:50.000 No, but what if I'm...

00:11:51.000 He, him.

00:11:52.000 He, him?

00:11:53.000 Yeah.

00:11:53.000 Okay.

00:11:54.000 I'm a, you know, I'm a male.

00:11:56.000 So never they?

00:11:58.000 No.

00:11:59.000 Oh, I was with Maddie today.

00:12:00.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:01.000 What was they talking about?

00:12:02.000 What?

00:12:03.000 Like.

00:12:04.000 This doesn't fit.

00:12:05.000 No one's tried this.

00:12:06.000 It's a concept.

00:12:07.000 No one's ever, like, tried to use it in a sentence.

00:12:11.000 They's really mad at me.

00:12:13.000 What do you mean?

00:12:13.000 Like, they's really mad at me and shit?

00:12:16.000 They would be plural, not singular.

00:12:19.000 Yeah.

00:12:20.000 But it's they, them.

00:12:21.000 So they have to use they even when it's singular.

00:12:24.000 Hey, I got some bad news.

00:12:27.000 They have cancer.

00:12:29.000 All of them?

00:12:30.000 Who?

00:12:31.000 Everyone has cancer?

00:12:35.000 Here's another one I thought was funny.

00:12:37.000 You know, Jim Goad says, gender studies?

00:12:40.000 Gender studies?

00:12:41.000 Line up 100 people in front of me.

00:12:44.000 Put whatever you want on them and I'll tell you who is who.

00:12:49.000 That's all the gender studies you need.

00:12:51.000 So this girl thinks it's cool that no one knows what her gender is and how she can change it at will.

00:12:59.000 No, you're just, You know what this comes down to, by the way?

00:13:02.000 And I'm starting out light to keep things fun, but this is just people who are boring.

00:13:08.000 People who are not interesting.

00:13:10.000 They want to have culture.

00:13:11.000 White people are told that they suck.

00:13:14.000 So that's like that ADT guy.

00:13:16.000 Remember where we go?

00:13:17.000 He goes, I'm Native American.

00:13:18.000 And we go, No, you're not.

00:13:20.000 You're blue eyes.

00:13:22.000 And he goes, and we go, what percentage?

00:13:23.000 And he goes, like 4%, but I wish it was more.

00:13:27.000 Wow.

00:13:27.000 You wish it was more?

00:13:29.000 And she wishes it was more, too.

00:13:32.000 So they go, I don't really want to be gay.

00:13:35.000 The smell of pussy is kind of gross to me.

00:13:38.000 I like dicks.

00:13:40.000 So what do I do?

00:13:41.000 I know.

00:13:41.000 I'll invent a whole new astrology of identity.

00:13:44.000 And now I'm like a fucking Sagittarius with a full moon rising on Venus.

00:13:49.000 And I'm not even a chick.

00:13:51.000 And you're like, yeah, you are.

00:13:51.000 You're just a boring chick who drew on her face.

00:13:54.000 Okay, so I'm non-bearing.

00:13:56.000 Okay, so I'm non-binary.

00:13:58.000 And some people have a problem with that.

00:13:59.000 So they like to hang out in the comments and remind me that I do have a gender.

00:14:03.000 But they don't know if I was assigned female at birth or male at birth.

00:14:06.000 So the common things like, no, you're a girl or a boy.

00:14:14.000 And I'm like, yeah, motherfucker's this the point.

00:14:17.000 You don't know.

00:14:18.000 Okay, so I'm non-binary.

00:14:21.000 So I'm non-binary.

00:14:22.000 Some people have a problem with that.

00:14:23.000 So they like to hang out with them.

00:14:25.000 These are hard to take, and we're done with those.

00:14:27.000 It drains me.

00:14:28.000 But it also makes one wonder: are they the worst?

00:14:32.000 And I think it's possible that theater kids are worse than these genderless queers.

00:14:42.000 Tell me what you think.

00:14:48.000 Hey, you!

00:14:53.000 Be a millennial with totally cold.

00:14:55.000 We got TVDs and funds of students.

00:15:07.000 Oh my god, I love the office.

00:15:11.000 So wait, was that like Gen Z versus Millennials?

00:15:15.000 Do you have a monitor there?

00:15:17.000 Yeah.

00:15:19.000 You want to turn it up?

00:15:21.000 What are you wearing, Ryan?

00:15:23.000 Come here.

00:15:30.000 This looks absurd.

00:15:31.000 Yeah.

00:15:32.000 You look like the guy who plays the saxophone at the beginning of that movie.

00:15:41.000 What the fuck is your look?

00:15:45.000 So you're just going for 80s?

00:15:50.000 Well, get behind me, maybe.

00:15:51.000 Maybe stand on my desk.

00:15:53.000 I look like your bodyguard.

00:15:55.000 Then I'm dead.

00:15:57.000 You want to hit him?

00:15:58.000 Go around this way.

00:16:00.000 Here's my tiny bodyguard.

00:16:04.000 But so 80s, is that it?

00:16:06.000 Like, when we were kids, you had to be consistent.

00:16:10.000 Like, same with Matt.

00:16:11.000 You're a biker, then you're a biker.

00:16:13.000 You're a punk, you're a punk.

00:16:14.000 You were going to be a goth for an hour and a half.

00:16:16.000 You bought, like, one shitty sweater, and then you dropped it.

00:16:19.000 It's so expensive.

00:16:20.000 Then you were going to be German.

00:16:23.000 I wasn't going to be German.

00:16:24.000 I was learning the German language.

00:16:25.000 And now you're an 80s guy, which I'm fine with, but now stick with it and throw out all your non-80s stuff.

00:16:31.000 It comes with the hair.

00:16:33.000 It comes with the hairatory.

00:16:35.000 The territory here.

00:16:37.000 But you know what my song?

00:16:38.000 I have a theme song.

00:16:40.000 Who knew?

00:16:41.000 It's a theme.

00:16:42.000 This pretty much I identify as this song.

00:16:46.000 Okay.

00:16:47.000 This song is your pronouns.

00:16:48.000 Yes.

00:16:54.000 Well, the sound is shit quality.

00:16:56.000 That makes sense.

00:16:57.000 And I'd lost the chin.

00:17:03.000 It's a dead man's party.

00:17:04.000 Yeah.

00:17:05.000 Oingo boingo?

00:17:06.000 Oingo boingo, Maddie called it.

00:17:08.000 Boingo boingo.

00:17:10.000 What's it?

00:17:11.000 This was made its fame.

00:17:13.000 I mean, the song was out before, but made its fame in going back to school with Rodney Danger.

00:17:18.000 That's right.

00:17:18.000 Oh, with Oingo Boingo.

00:17:23.000 Back to school.

00:17:24.000 You know, the lead singer of Oingo Boingo is Danny Elfman, who does all the, like, the Batman theme and Nightmare Before Christmas.

00:17:37.000 Batman theme, you mean the terrible Batman back when it was like Prince?

00:17:41.000 No, Prince did Prince, I guess.

00:17:43.000 Prince was Prince.

00:17:45.000 What Batman theme?

00:17:46.000 It was the movie with Keaton, Michael Keaton.

00:17:49.000 Oh, he did that?

00:17:50.000 Yep.

00:17:50.000 So he just sucks at everything.

00:17:52.000 He's a theater kid, kind of.

00:17:54.000 Yeah.

00:17:54.000 The original.

00:17:55.000 Gross.

00:17:55.000 Oingo boingo.

00:17:59.000 Every time you listen to 80s on Sirius, you're like, why do all these songs suck?

00:18:04.000 The 80s had tons of good jams.

00:18:07.000 They had the kinks, and they had Motley Crew, and they had punk, and they had new wave.

00:18:13.000 There was tons of great songs in the 80s, and then you turn it on, and it's oingo boingo.

00:18:18.000 And I started thinking, maybe Sirius has to pay royalties to, you know, Billy Squire, so they don't have good songs.

00:18:26.000 Or maybe they just have bad taste like you.

00:18:28.000 I think they have infinite money for songs because they got some high-end stuff on there.

00:18:34.000 I mean, it should be, you should put on 80s on Sirius and it should be Panama.

00:18:42.000 Or Hot for Teacher.

00:18:44.000 Remember the beginning for the video of Hot for Teacher?

00:18:47.000 Yeah, that did rule.

00:18:48.000 That was a great time in music.

00:18:51.000 I'm not just going to say music videos, music.

00:18:54.000 Where they had this over-the-top cartoon.

00:18:57.000 Everything was a cartoon, but it wasn't a cartoon.

00:19:00.000 And they couldn't just have like, hey, man, I want to fuck my teacher.

00:19:05.000 They had to have this whole intro.

00:19:08.000 No running.

00:19:09.000 What the fuck?

00:19:11.000 Why are you showing his porn?

00:19:13.000 I don't know.

00:19:13.000 Figures the guy's not out.

00:19:15.000 Yeah, maybe pull up the video I'm talking about.

00:19:18.000 But they were like, we're going away for a while.

00:19:20.000 Squeech, squeeze.

00:19:21.000 And they're squeeching his glasses.

00:19:23.000 And he's a nerd with a totally over-the-top nerd, too.

00:19:27.000 He has tape between his glasses.

00:19:29.000 And then...

00:19:30.000 Oh, wait a minute.

00:19:31.000 No.

00:19:32.000 I'm mixing two videos.

00:19:34.000 Yeah.

00:19:35.000 This is Twisted's sister, right?

00:19:37.000 This is what you want.

00:19:40.000 Hot for teacher.

00:19:40.000 Oh, really?

00:19:41.000 Go back.

00:19:44.000 Now, Waldo, I hope you find some friends.

00:19:48.000 Oh, Waldo, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:49.000 Waldo, how creative.

00:19:51.000 But I like that it's so not creative.

00:19:55.000 I'm nervous and my socks are too luck.

00:20:07.000 Sit down, Waldo.

00:20:10.000 Look, it is made by a child.

00:20:14.000 It's the least sophisticated short film ever made.

00:20:21.000 We get it.

00:20:22.000 He's a nerd.

00:20:23.000 And these guys are not.

00:20:26.000 They are 12-year-olds that want to have sex with grown women, which is illegal.

00:20:32.000 We just want to send our teacher away for life.

00:20:36.000 The coolest pedophile movie I've ever seen.

00:20:39.000 Wait, wait, the girls are whores too?

00:20:42.000 Can't the kids just fuck each other?

00:20:44.000 I don't want them to fuck the teacher.

00:20:47.000 This is back in the 80s when pedophilia was perfectly reasonable.

00:20:51.000 Like in Tom Hanks' Big, where he puts his big cock into a woman despite being, I don't know, 10.

00:20:59.000 Wow, man, that's like you.

00:21:02.000 Wait a second, man.

00:21:04.000 What do you think of jam?

00:21:10.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:21:18.000 I think the pendulum has sort of swung too far the other way now.

00:21:22.000 Like, I don't advocate for children fucking adults, believe it or not.

00:21:26.000 But the way we treat, like, a teacher, a 20-year-old teacher fucking a 16-year-old boy as the same as the genders reverse, like a 20-year-old male teacher fucking a 16-year-old girl.

00:21:39.000 The 20-year-old male teacher is going to get beaten to death in the parking lot.

00:21:43.000 The 20-year-old teacher with the 16-year-old boy, we're not fans.

00:21:46.000 It's illegal, but we're like, meh, you.

00:21:50.000 In the sense that.

00:21:51.000 Don't do that again.

00:21:53.000 You're robbing him of his innocence.

00:21:55.000 Not a catastrophe.

00:21:57.000 Okay, now look up.

00:21:59.000 What was the other video that's exactly like that?

00:22:01.000 I want to rock.

00:22:03.000 No, no.

00:22:03.000 I want to rock with Twisted Sister.

00:22:06.000 I think it has the exact same beginning.

00:22:09.000 You're worthless and weak.

00:22:11.000 It's the dude from Animal House.

00:22:13.000 Yeah.

00:22:13.000 And he's pissed off.

00:22:15.000 I think it's at a nerd.

00:22:16.000 Is that a Twisted Sister pin on your jacket?

00:22:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:21.000 Because they loved Animal House.

00:22:24.000 Parents, and the theme with all these is like, parents are jerks.

00:22:29.000 Teenage Rebellion.

00:22:34.000 Hello, students.

00:22:39.000 School has begun.

00:22:40.000 It's the same.

00:22:41.000 The summer is over.

00:22:44.000 I am in command.

00:22:49.000 Just curious, what was schools out for summer like?

00:22:51.000 Was it the same thing?

00:22:53.000 The intro?

00:22:54.000 I don't think so.

00:22:55.000 I think it was a lot earlier.

00:23:00.000 This poor guy didn't really get a career after that, right?

00:23:02.000 He did Animal House.

00:23:04.000 He was this asshole, and then it was just like asshole man.

00:23:19.000 Like, this is where a director goes, playing this a little big.

00:23:23.000 Can we play it a little smaller, please?

00:23:26.000 All right, Mr. Sister, I want you to tell me.

00:23:32.000 Slow down.

00:23:48.000 Wouldn't you blow him the other way?

00:23:51.000 I feel like he should have got into the chalkboard.

00:23:54.000 Yeah, he might flew out.

00:23:55.000 I want to rock straight up.

00:23:58.000 And then, okay, last one I'm going to do.

00:23:59.000 Look up Possessed to Skate by Suicidal Tendencies.

00:24:04.000 Possessed Escape.

00:24:05.000 Yeah.

00:24:06.000 Yes, Possessed to Escape.

00:24:08.000 It's about a guy who escapes from prison because the devil takes over his body.

00:24:12.000 Possessed to skate.

00:24:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:24:16.000 Pee-wee Herman, when he had, all of his characters were exaggerations of how kids see adults.

00:24:22.000 Like Missy Vaughn was this crazy, over-the-top, beautiful lady.

00:24:25.000 And then Cowboy Curtis was like a crazy dude who was a super cowboy tough guy.

00:24:31.000 Wait, what's this?

00:24:35.000 This is the story of Possessed Escape.

00:24:40.000 It's an interview about what I'm talking about.

00:24:41.000 But maybe it...

00:24:42.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:24:43.000 It's there.

00:24:44.000 So go back a little bit.

00:24:46.000 Parents are stupid.

00:24:47.000 Not that I have a problem with parents being stupid idiots.

00:24:49.000 I'm just saying that this is like a kid's show way to portray reality.

00:24:54.000 And when I was a teenager, this was how you portrayed reality.

00:24:58.000 In a cartoony, lo-fi way.

00:25:02.000 It was awesome.

00:25:10.000 Oh, that's Mike Weirs, the kid.

00:25:11.000 I never realized that.

00:25:13.000 I remember no skateboarding until you've done your homework.

00:25:17.000 Okay, granddad.

00:25:20.000 At what age did you have me?

00:25:30.000 Homework sucks.

00:25:33.000 I hate it and disco.

00:25:36.000 Oh, he's pretty good at fucking algebra.

00:25:45.000 I'm getting pumped just watching this.

00:25:54.000 Homer turned into Satan.

00:25:57.000 I gotta skate.

00:26:01.000 Fun fact about Mike Moir, he is not Hispanic.

00:26:05.000 And I don't believe he skates.

00:26:09.000 All right, that's enough.

00:26:11.000 Let's get serious here.

00:26:12.000 Enough joking around about the 80s.

00:26:15.000 Let's watch My Pet Biden.

00:26:18.000 I'm going to see if I can get a beer in the time it takes to play My Pet Biden.

00:26:25.000 Why is my pinky cold as ice?

00:26:27.000 That's not a good sign.

00:26:28.000 It's a great journey song.

00:26:30.000 Wait, fuck.

00:26:31.000 My pinky's cold as ice.

00:26:36.000 Biden.

00:26:37.000 On him I can depend.

00:26:39.000 My pet.

00:26:40.000 Biden.

00:26:41.000 A monster of the president.

00:26:43.000 He's big and blue.

00:26:45.000 Sleepy.

00:26:46.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:26:48.000 My pet.

00:26:49.000 Biden.

00:26:50.000 Wait, what?

00:26:50.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:26:55.000 This is from the ice cream scenario that we had so much fun with until we realized we were making fun of a mentally handicapped person, which is not quite as amusing as the other stuff.

00:27:08.000 Did Benny Johnson post this?

00:27:09.000 I could tell because it has like, this is hard to watch.

00:27:13.000 Yeah.

00:27:13.000 Where he's always like, guys, I know we're always thinking that Biden makes these mistakes, but this is sad to watch.

00:27:23.000 I mean.

00:27:26.000 And then he interrupted this other video of like Bobert on the floor.

00:27:30.000 He's like, she made this awesome speech that lit up the Senate and the Congress, and you have to check it out.

00:27:38.000 And it's like, just play the video because that's all he had to do.

00:27:41.000 Yeah, check it out.

00:27:41.000 I am checking it out.

00:27:42.000 I was.

00:27:43.000 I'm waiting for you to play it.

00:27:45.000 Yeah, he's very pumped.

00:27:47.000 He's like the male cheerleader of the right.

00:27:49.000 Yeah, he's fun.

00:27:51.000 I don't disparage anyone on the left.

00:27:53.000 I mean, right.

00:27:55.000 Sure.

00:27:57.000 Wait, so she just said, so he's buying, I think this is the chocolate chocolate chip.

00:28:01.000 I'm not sure.

00:28:02.000 Maybe not.

00:28:03.000 But so they're being followed by journalists, and they're like, okay, you're buying fucking ice cream, whatever you're buying there.

00:28:09.000 Maybe this is like a breakfast burrito.

00:28:12.000 Can I ask one of my fucking questions now?

00:28:14.000 That's my job.

00:28:15.000 And he's like, sure.

00:28:16.000 And then everyone laughs.

00:28:18.000 She's a real ball buster.

00:28:22.000 Sure.

00:28:25.000 Right now, sir.

00:28:26.000 With the most recent hack by the Russians, would you say that this means that you're not going to be able to get a brief as I was on the plane?

00:28:38.000 That's why I was getting off the plane.

00:28:40.000 I got a brief and that lag worked perfectly.

00:28:49.000 Would you like your receipt?

00:28:50.000 I'll move my piece first.

00:28:51.000 Would you like your receipt?

00:28:53.000 What are you doing?

00:28:53.000 Better shape to talk to you about it.

00:29:04.000 I'll tell you what they said.

00:29:13.000 The idea, first of all, we're not sure who it is for certain.

00:29:19.000 And what I did, I directed the full resources of the government to assist in the response if we determine what else should be.

00:29:27.000 Oh, nothing.

00:29:28.000 You're all set.

00:29:29.000 Okay.

00:29:30.000 And the fact is that I directed the intelligence community to give me a deep dive on what's happened.

00:29:39.000 And I'll know better tomorrow.

00:29:41.000 And if it is either with the knowledge of and or a consequence of Russia, then I told Putin we will respond.

00:29:52.000 You didn't tell him already, sir?

00:29:53.000 No, no.

00:29:54.000 I have a call because we're not certain.

00:29:58.000 The initial thinking was it was not the Russian government.

00:30:03.000 But we're not sure yet.

00:30:07.000 Sure.

00:30:09.000 How about that shit show escapade?

00:30:14.000 Like, my dad is a drunk who's 75 years old.

00:30:18.000 He falls down all the time, breaks his ribs.

00:30:22.000 He's a mess.

00:30:23.000 I have to pick him up.

00:30:24.000 Sometimes he wets his chair.

00:30:26.000 He's me in the future.

00:30:28.000 If you had asked him right there, Jimmy McInnes, after like 40 beers, Jimmy McInnes, what about the hacking?

00:30:35.000 Oh, it's strange as I know.

00:30:38.000 I mean, with the elections, there was talk about, you know, Putin and the government getting involved.

00:30:44.000 And it turns out it was just a few hackers, you know, with about money.

00:30:48.000 And, what, 200 grand they spent on Facebook?

00:30:51.000 Like, putting up a few ads.

00:30:53.000 It was hardly a Russian intervention.

00:30:55.000 But who knows what this is?

00:30:57.000 It could be Russian kids, you know, just random hackers.

00:31:02.000 Could be American hackers.

00:31:04.000 Could be Putin himself and the government.

00:31:06.000 You know, I'm not going to sit here and start telling you my plan when it's this person or that person, but we're definitely investigating it.

00:31:13.000 And then it's a concern, my boy.

00:31:16.000 It's an absolute concern.

00:31:19.000 That's what he would say.

00:31:20.000 And people would roll their eyes and be like, I can't believe he doesn't even know who did it.

00:31:25.000 That, what we just saw, is an absolute fucking shit show of a man with no brain.

00:31:34.000 He's lost.

00:31:38.000 It's extra chocolate chips.

00:31:41.000 I don't think we can play that anymore, Ryan.

00:31:43.000 Because it's cruelty?

00:31:44.000 Because we found out who said that and he's special.

00:31:47.000 But Drew.

00:31:50.000 I want to talk like Jimmy at the bar.

00:31:54.000 Does he watch that and go, I'm glad I voted for Biden.

00:31:57.000 At least he's not Trump.

00:32:01.000 I would imagine so.

00:32:03.000 What was that fight that you and Mike got in with him like months ago?

00:32:08.000 Was it voter ID?

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 What did he say?

00:32:12.000 He said he has to show ID when he gets his driver's license.

00:32:19.000 No, no, no.

00:32:20.000 He said it was racist.

00:32:21.000 Yeah.

00:32:23.000 And then we were all screaming, you need to show ID when you do everything.

00:32:27.000 Yeah, you go to the doctors.

00:32:28.000 You got to bring your ID and your insurance car.

00:32:29.000 Pick up Mets tickets.

00:32:31.000 Yeah.

00:32:34.000 It's hard.

00:32:36.000 Our friend, we have one liberal friend, and he avoids this subject with us, obviously, because we drink at his bar and we'll start losing our shit.

00:32:45.000 But I mean, here's the thing: when Trump would say shit, like grab the pussy, whatever, people would go, aren't you embarrassed?

00:32:53.000 And I go, no, and I'd explain it.

00:32:54.000 Or they'd show tweets with typos and they go, come on, doesn't that concern you?

00:32:58.000 I go, yes.

00:32:59.000 That's embarrassing.

00:33:00.000 Those typos are not good.

00:33:02.000 I don't feel good about those typos.

00:33:04.000 Like, I had eyeballs.

00:33:05.000 I had a brain.

00:33:08.000 How do they feel about what we just saw?

00:33:10.000 He had to pull out a form from his pocket to answer a question.

00:33:15.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:33:17.000 He said a press tour.

00:33:20.000 He's always got cue cards for everything.

00:33:22.000 And he's openly said, I wake up every day my entire adult life and someone hands me a card with what I'm going to do that day.

00:33:29.000 I'd be totally lost without it.

00:33:31.000 And he means literally lost.

00:33:33.000 If you just pushed him out of the White House right now and said, go buy a salami sandwich, a pair of shoelaces, and a chocolate milk.

00:33:43.000 He'd be gone for three weeks.

00:33:47.000 It would be like Lewis and Clark.

00:33:49.000 He'd have to sort of take in some Pocahontas woman who'd be like, I know where we can get the laces.

00:33:55.000 The chocolate milk is a mystery, though.

00:33:57.000 We may have to trek out to farm country in Wisconsin.

00:34:03.000 Dude, I don't know what...

00:34:04.000 Did you see, are you, do you watch everything Mob Shizzen these days?

00:34:08.000 Dude, I spend more time with Mob Shizzen than my wife.

00:34:14.000 Mob Shizzen is my wife.

00:34:16.000 I feel like I'm cheating on Mob Shizzen when I talk to my wife.

00:34:19.000 That's a good point.

00:34:20.000 What do you got there, though?

00:34:21.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:22.000 Just somebody trying to say the name Biden?

00:34:24.000 I think he calls him President Byron.

00:34:26.000 You seen this?

00:34:26.000 No.

00:34:27.000 Who's the president, man?

00:34:28.000 Who's the president?

00:34:29.000 Byron.

00:34:30.000 Who's the president?

00:34:31.000 He's out back in Pokemon with this big head.

00:34:34.000 There we go.

00:34:35.000 Byron Byron.

00:34:38.000 Oh, fucking President Byron rules.

00:34:42.000 That's like what's her name, Macy Gray, talking about how the insurrectionists wanted to kill Ted Pence.

00:34:48.000 Ted Pence and Byron Biden.

00:34:51.000 I want to get to the January 6th meandering, but before we get that, let's cover some very important news.

00:34:56.000 Trump made a big announcement today.

00:34:58.000 The real president of the United States.

00:35:00.000 Donald J. Trump announced to the world that he has become best friends with our buddy Fleckis.

00:35:08.000 You can see him.

00:35:09.000 There's Fleckis on the, ironically on the far left.

00:35:12.000 Shit.

00:35:14.000 What?

00:35:15.000 Jesus.

00:35:16.000 Fleckis is one, two, three, four, five people away from the president.

00:35:21.000 What is going on?

00:35:24.000 Like, I was just making fart jokes with this guy.

00:35:28.000 Unbelievable.

00:35:29.000 So anyway, the announcement is, do we have audio of it?

00:35:31.000 There he is.

00:35:35.000 He's suing big tech.

00:35:37.000 Now, this is great news, not because I think he's actually personally suing Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg.

00:35:45.000 But it's good news because it'll get free speech.

00:35:49.000 Look at this.

00:35:49.000 Motherfucker.

00:35:50.000 That makes me really jealous.

00:35:52.000 Yes, I'm a level of jealous where I'm pissed off.

00:35:55.000 I'm not happy for him at all.

00:35:56.000 Yeah.

00:35:57.000 I hope he's allergic to shrimp, but he's just eating it so he's not going to be able to do it.

00:36:00.000 This would be like, I was working on a chick for three years in high school, and then I walk into a room and she's blowing you.

00:36:08.000 And I just met her that day.

00:36:11.000 I mean, you probably have to be so much on your guard that you can't totally relax.

00:36:15.000 What's that purple?

00:36:16.000 No, that's not true.

00:36:17.000 Trump's whole thing is like taking down your guard.

00:36:21.000 That's why the pussy joke exists.

00:36:23.000 Because he thought, all right, this guy's nervous.

00:36:25.000 I'm just going to break the ice with some pussy talk and then we can chill.

00:36:28.000 So he probably said to Fleckis something like, can you be a 10 if you have no tits?

00:36:33.000 What do you think of that?

00:36:34.000 He did level off with him.

00:36:35.000 Yeah.

00:36:35.000 And Fleckis holds that in really high regard, so he's never going to tell us.

00:36:40.000 Because that's his.

00:36:41.000 I'll get it out of him, my friend.

00:36:44.000 You ever heard of this truth serum?

00:36:46.000 You ever hook up with a chick and you wanted to maintain the sanctity of it and you didn't tell anybody for at least a week?

00:36:53.000 And you were like, I'm a good guy because I'm not bragging.

00:36:56.000 Yeah, not if she didn't have a boyfriend.

00:36:58.000 I would tell it right away.

00:36:59.000 I'm a blabber mouth.

00:37:02.000 I fucked somebody.

00:37:04.000 What are they eating?

00:37:04.000 Purple mystery meat?

00:37:06.000 What the is that?

00:37:07.000 I think it's really good beef that doesn't photograph well.

00:37:10.000 So it's purple?

00:37:11.000 Next to shrimp?

00:37:12.000 It's roast beef?

00:37:14.000 What do you think, Maddie?

00:37:15.000 You're a food guy.

00:37:16.000 I can't see it over there.

00:37:17.000 I got in the background as you.

00:37:19.000 Oh, you're looking in the background of me?

00:37:20.000 Zoom it up real big.

00:37:22.000 No, no, no.

00:37:22.000 I'm saying on my monitor.

00:37:24.000 I know.

00:37:24.000 I'm telling Ryan to zoom it up real big.

00:37:26.000 There you go.

00:37:27.000 Oof.

00:37:29.000 Some purple beef.

00:37:30.000 That's what they eat in Peter Pan.

00:37:32.000 Prime rib.

00:37:33.000 Yeah, that's prime rib.

00:37:35.000 The food you must get with fucking Donald Trump.

00:37:38.000 Okay, we're starting to sound like simps.

00:37:40.000 We are.

00:37:40.000 Wait, there's some more pictures, though.

00:37:42.000 Okay.

00:37:42.000 That's how close they were.

00:37:43.000 He was right with them.

00:37:45.000 He's one chair away.

00:37:46.000 Fuck.

00:37:47.000 He's in the left-hand man.

00:37:51.000 Ponte's pilot seat.

00:37:52.000 So I love this, that I love his announcement because I love the idea of free speech and what these assholes have done to the national conversation, talking about social media.

00:37:59.000 And, you know, my wife was upset about her friend, but I go, this is a national problem.

00:38:04.000 Think of all the Christmas dinners, Thanksgiving, all the fights within families, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws.

00:38:10.000 Like, it's not just your immediate family that are splitting up here.

00:38:13.000 Entire families are getting shattered by this division.

00:38:16.000 And the irony is they think it's us, and we think it's them.

00:38:20.000 I blame the media, social media.

00:38:23.000 They think it's Trump and his divisive rhetoric.

00:38:27.000 The divisive rhetoric is just, no, we're not having multiple bathrooms.

00:38:30.000 We're not using they, them, and America doesn't suck.

00:38:34.000 That's really what it comes down to.

00:38:35.000 One side says America sucks, right?

00:38:37.000 The far left.

00:38:39.000 And then our side says, fuck you.

00:38:41.000 And then they go, oh, that's being divisive.

00:38:43.000 Fuck you.

00:38:43.000 I'm never speaking to you again.

00:38:44.000 You're a Nazi.

00:38:45.000 You think that the Holocaust was great.

00:38:47.000 And you go, what?

00:38:50.000 I'm not playing this game.

00:38:52.000 Let's hear his announcement.

00:38:53.000 I don't think I've heard it yet, actually.

00:38:56.000 Today, in conjunction with the America First Policy Institute.

00:39:02.000 I'm filing as the lead class representative a major class action lawsuit against the big tech giants, including Facebook, Google, and Twitter, as well as their CEOs, Mark Zuckerberg,

00:39:18.000 Sunder Boce, and Jack Dorsey.

00:39:22.000 Three real nice guys.

00:39:26.000 Today.

00:39:27.000 You gotta be proud of you, boys.

00:39:29.000 See, he doesn't pull a fucking note out of his thing.

00:39:35.000 Do we have a...

00:39:36.000 What is this?

00:39:37.000 Who's what?

00:39:40.000 If you're successful on this in Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and all the social media platforms, let you back on and let everyone else back on uninhibited the way that everyone's supposed to have access.

00:39:50.000 Would you use their platforms again?

00:39:51.000 I don't know.

00:39:52.000 It's a good question.

00:39:53.000 I don't know.

00:39:53.000 I might not.

00:39:54.000 I don't know.

00:39:55.000 I do, but I don't know if I like them that much.

00:39:57.000 If I'm not sure what you're doing, I'm getting.

00:40:00.000 Wait, sorry to interrupt, Mr. Trump.

00:40:06.000 They can't put out a pressure at least.

00:40:08.000 People would say, who the hell is that?

00:40:09.000 If you're successful, let's say.

00:40:11.000 Oh, I see.

00:40:11.000 What are you trying to say?

00:40:12.000 Maybe he's making room for his own platform.

00:40:15.000 Yeah, maybe he sues them, crushes them, gets all this publicity, and then starts like Getter.

00:40:20.000 I saw one today that's called Getter or something.

00:40:23.000 Nice.

00:40:24.000 I met with Gavin Wax.

00:40:25.000 I'm surprised he didn't do YouTube.

00:40:28.000 Or is that owned by Google?

00:40:30.000 Maybe that's the same thing.

00:40:31.000 Wait, did he say YouTube?

00:40:33.000 No, he said, well, he said including...

00:40:35.000 Facebook, Twitter, Google.

00:40:36.000 Google is YouTube.

00:40:37.000 Yep.

00:40:37.000 Okay, and Facebook is Instagram, too.

00:40:41.000 So, bada boom.

00:40:42.000 Bada bing.

00:40:43.000 Bada bing, bada boom, of course.

00:40:46.000 All right, let's do the January 6th meandering.

00:40:48.000 Is there any, do we have a interstitial for that?

00:40:53.000 I think we have a background.

00:40:54.000 Dude, I'm getting paranoid that my body hurts here.

00:40:57.000 Is that a sign of an infection?

00:40:59.000 You need those lines.

00:41:00.000 Yeah.

00:41:01.000 You would have red lines going up your arm.

00:41:03.000 Yeah, I don't got the lines.

00:41:05.000 Lines disease.

00:41:07.000 Do you have social, do you have health care yet?

00:41:10.000 Oh, you got to get married.

00:41:11.000 Close.

00:41:12.000 We're right around the corner.

00:41:13.000 We're getting paperwork.

00:41:14.000 See, this is the other thing, too, with my wife.

00:41:17.000 All her friends have seen that New York Times supercut where they finally, after hours of editing, make the insurrection look dangerous.

00:41:25.000 But this is what it was.

00:41:28.000 Dudes just tooling around, sitting on the floor, staying within the barriers.

00:41:34.000 I went to punk shows that were crazier than this.

00:41:37.000 Yes, but it was at the Capitol.

00:41:38.000 Okay, good.

00:41:40.000 Here's my first question with the January 6th meandering.

00:41:44.000 And it's actually proof that the whole hype is biased.

00:41:48.000 We have these dummies, the Moors.

00:41:51.000 Okay?

00:41:52.000 Now, the Moors came up from Africa and dominated Spain for, I think, 400 years.

00:41:57.000 I can't remember how long.

00:42:00.000 True, great.

00:42:01.000 Just because you come from Africa doesn't mean you're black.

00:42:04.000 They were northern Africans, guys.

00:42:07.000 But black dudes take it as evidence that they dominated Europe for a long time.

00:42:12.000 No.

00:42:13.000 Sorry.

00:42:15.000 This was not sub-Saharan Africans.

00:42:17.000 But anyway, this is sort of the nomenclature they use when they start their own militia groups.

00:42:24.000 And they were in, where were they, Massachusetts?

00:42:27.000 I forget.

00:42:28.000 But they get pulled over and they say, sorry, we're not abiding by your rules and jump into the forest.

00:42:33.000 Members of Rise of the Moors militia refuse to cooperate arraignment and claim they're not subject to U.S. laws.

00:42:39.000 I like this, by the way.

00:42:41.000 It makes for good news.

00:42:43.000 Funny news.

00:42:44.000 After 11 were arrested during an armed standoff near Boston.

00:42:48.000 Click on the link.

00:42:50.000 And we all know the story, right?

00:42:52.000 They're just doing this like my rights.

00:42:55.000 I'm an independent person.

00:42:57.000 They always say I'm traveling when you catch them moving.

00:43:00.000 Oh, these guys.

00:43:02.000 Yeah, they're part of the sovereign citizen thing.

00:43:05.000 But my question to you is, where's the anger from the left?

00:43:11.000 Why aren't they...

00:43:12.000 They say the insurrection was the worst thing that's ever happened.

00:43:15.000 This is an insurrection of sorts.

00:43:17.000 This is a militia group.

00:43:18.000 This is everything you say.

00:43:20.000 The reason that I can't fundraise is because they're scared I'm going to be buying arms for my secret army.

00:43:25.000 Well, here's a secret army.

00:43:28.000 Are you mad?

00:43:29.000 Is this okay?

00:43:32.000 Look at the weird way the women dress.

00:43:34.000 Wow.

00:43:35.000 They look like they're at Studio 54 in 1979.

00:43:43.000 One of the least boring militia groups in history.

00:43:49.000 All right.

00:43:49.000 So the real reason everyone's mad about the January 6th meandering is the race and the political affiliation of the people.

00:43:55.000 That's why they're pretending some old lady is somehow 9-11.

00:44:01.000 What's 3-2 there?

00:44:03.000 Oh, this was a funny thing.

00:44:04.000 I noticed this with Proud Boys.

00:44:06.000 If you're affiliated with a violent group and somehow, and someone new shows up with the pep and enthusiasm of Clippy the Paperclip, but for bombs, your new friend is the FBI.

00:44:23.000 And I noticed this at Proud Boys meetups where everyone was normal and there'd be some dude who was built like he should have tattoos, like a ripped big guy with a beard with no tattoos.

00:44:34.000 And he'd be all about, yeah, we got to fucking do something though.

00:44:38.000 And another thing besides bombs was Coke.

00:44:41.000 Let's get Coke.

00:44:42.000 I want to get some cocaine.

00:44:43.000 I love cocaine, right, guys?

00:44:45.000 And we're like, I think some of the dudes might have some.

00:44:48.000 It'll come up.

00:44:48.000 Don't worry about it.

00:44:49.000 No, no, we got to get cocaine.

00:44:53.000 Definitely not a Fed.

00:44:54.000 Definitely not a Fed.

00:44:56.000 You had the Feds bothering you for many years.

00:44:58.000 Nine years.

00:44:59.000 Oh, that's me.

00:45:00.000 Nine years.

00:45:01.000 Nine years.

00:45:02.000 How much money was spent following you?

00:45:04.000 Well, I know one day, a buddy of mine from Boston, he was in the club with me, the Hells Angels at the time, and they spent $250,000, 40 agents, two fixed-wing aircraft and a helicopter to follow him from his house to my house.

00:45:24.000 Oh, yes.

00:45:26.000 That was after you may or may not make a purchase from he was pulled over going back into the state of Massachusetts with 7,000 bills.

00:45:36.000 So when you're in a group, like a biker club, you must constantly be wondering, like scrutinizing people.

00:45:47.000 Yeah, the individual that this incident happened to with me and myself was a personal friend of mine, good friend of mine.

00:45:56.000 I had known him for years.

00:45:58.000 Us being in the same organization, the Hell's Angels Motor Slave Club, had absolutely nothing to do with our illegal activities.

00:46:06.000 Right.

00:46:07.000 That was separate from...

00:46:09.000 But I'm saying, when you're hanging out with guys, and like I have this as a curse now forever because of Proud Boys, not that I'm in the same league as you with crime, but every time someone says something weird or they're big and they don't have tattoos or they know a lot about crime,

00:46:25.000 I'm always like, well, you sure are informed.

00:46:28.000 Yeah, well, our buddy at our local.

00:46:32.000 Yeah.

00:46:33.000 Case in point.

00:46:34.000 Yeah, he knew every criminal you had been with and every jail you've ever been to.

00:46:39.000 He was asking me about certain individuals that I was in federal prison with and a couple of names that I had mentioned.

00:46:45.000 He rattled them off like he was old friends with them.

00:46:48.000 Well, I hope you don't mind.

00:46:49.000 We talked about this on the show.

00:46:50.000 Yeah, yeah, no problem.

00:46:51.000 There was like Spanish.

00:46:53.000 Spanish Carmine was Lucchese Soldier.

00:46:56.000 And when you look up Spanish Carmine, the Lucchese Soldier, it's not like there's 300 Google pages.

00:47:02.000 And then the old one was Christy Tickfinari, who was in the commission case back.

00:47:10.000 He was born in 1924.

00:47:12.000 I looked him up after all this, of course.

00:47:15.000 Only black and white pictures.

00:47:17.000 Look at him.

00:47:18.000 This is like Bugsy Malone.

00:47:20.000 Yeah, and our friend at the bar, he can't be more than, what, 30, 32?

00:47:27.000 It was very odd.

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:30.000 And if you're that much of a crime nerd, I don't know.

00:47:33.000 I feel like you should have like crime clothes.

00:47:36.000 Exactly.

00:47:37.000 And be like work at some website.

00:47:40.000 What was his explanation?

00:47:42.000 I'm into subculture.

00:47:44.000 Subcultures.

00:47:45.000 Okay.

00:47:45.000 I'm fascinated by subcultures.

00:47:47.000 Okay, I got it.

00:47:48.000 So let's hear about disco.

00:47:50.000 Let's hear about mods.

00:47:51.000 Let's hear about the boot boys.

00:47:53.000 What about the Sharpie movement in Australia where they were all sort of semi-skinheads?

00:47:58.000 Let's hear about some other subcultures.

00:48:00.000 What about the club kids in New York with Michael Eilig killing his meth dealer, Angel?

00:48:07.000 Angel, yeah.

00:48:08.000 That was a big popular subculture, and there's crime in there.

00:48:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:12.000 Tell us about Michael Eilig.

00:48:13.000 I don't think he knows anything like that.

00:48:17.000 Yeah, the New York City club scene was a big subculture.

00:48:20.000 So just like that guy was talking about Chippy the paperclip, are there times in your life where someone has been like, ha ha ha ha, like remember in 40-year-old Virgin where he goes, yeah, I love tits.

00:48:32.000 They're like big bags of sand.

00:48:37.000 Of course, you always run across people who try too hard.

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:42.000 It's definitely a red flag.

00:48:44.000 Oh my God.

00:48:45.000 Black Sabbath are fucking one of the best bands ever, you guys.

00:48:49.000 Tony Iomi and...

00:48:51.000 Tony Iomi is missing fingers.

00:48:53.000 I used to smoke so much marijuana and do so many lines of cocaine listening to the band Black Sabbath and looking up at the bird, which is the bald eagle.

00:49:03.000 Yeah.

00:49:05.000 I saw a great gangland and they were talking about this one dude who was with the Mongols forever.

00:49:14.000 Billy Queen.

00:49:16.000 The Fed I'm talking about.

00:49:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:18.000 Yeah.

00:49:19.000 And he lost his family.

00:49:20.000 His marriage fell apart.

00:49:21.000 He lost a relationship with his son because he was so focused on the Mongols.

00:49:25.000 And some chick went to a Mongols bar.

00:49:31.000 I'm not disparaging the Mongols to be crystal clear here.

00:49:34.000 I never will.

00:49:35.000 And the girl was flirting with them.

00:49:39.000 The boyfriend was mad.

00:49:40.000 He walked into the bar.

00:49:42.000 He disparaged the club, which is like, that's a suicide mission.

00:49:45.000 What are you doing?

00:49:46.000 So they beat him to death.

00:49:47.000 And then the undercover guy who had been there with them for five years goes, I know the three dudes who did most of the beating, and they threw them in jail.

00:49:55.000 And you're like, as a taxpayer, was that the best use of my money?

00:49:59.000 You managed to catch guys when someone poked a hornet's nest.

00:50:04.000 He kicked a sleeping bear and he got bit.

00:50:06.000 And we're like, I know which bear it was.

00:50:09.000 Thanks.

00:50:10.000 Yeah.

00:50:11.000 It's like my federal case in 2004 when the ATF came to New York and raided my mother's house.

00:50:21.000 They had spent, I think it was $2 million and I was the sole conviction.

00:50:28.000 All the people that were the primary targets of the investigation were never prosecuted because the case was so shitty.

00:50:36.000 I believe there was an article in the Washington Post.

00:50:40.000 It was called Blank Check, if I remember correctly.

00:50:43.000 What?

00:50:44.000 Pint Check?

00:50:44.000 Blank Check.

00:50:45.000 Oh, Blank Check, yeah.

00:50:46.000 Yeah.

00:50:47.000 Because in the area, the case was originally out of Virginia, and they were having a lot of gang problems with MS-13.

00:50:58.000 And they came up with this joint task force, federal and local law enforcement.

00:51:03.000 We're doing a joint gang task force, but nobody could infiltrate MS-13 because of the ethnicity and all the tattoos.

00:51:12.000 If you're not from El Salvador.

00:51:13.000 Right.

00:51:13.000 And the whole history, like who is your grandparents?

00:51:16.000 So they formed a club called the Red Devils, which was like a support club of the Hells Angels.

00:51:22.000 And they started hanging around, and then they eventually became a prospect charter for the Hells Angels.

00:51:29.000 And the guy who started the Red Devil charter was an undercover agent, and that's the guy who bought me.

00:51:36.000 So there's a major problem with MS-13.

00:51:38.000 They're killing people in droves by dealing heroin to ex, like people who are addicted to oxy.

00:51:45.000 We've got, I forget the numbers, wasn't it like 210 opioid overdoses a day?

00:51:51.000 So we have a bona fide problem.

00:51:53.000 Money's allotted to it.

00:51:55.000 They try.

00:51:56.000 They go too hard.

00:51:58.000 I'm just going to get bikers.

00:51:59.000 Yeah.

00:52:00.000 Who.

00:52:01.000 I mean, it was a couple other clubs like Fates Assembly.

00:52:05.000 They were the predominant club in that area in Virginia at the time.

00:52:09.000 And then when the Red Devils came around, the Fates Assembly challenged the Red Devils and said, We're not going to let you become Hell's Angel prospects because we're the predominant club.

00:52:20.000 If anyone's going to do it, we're going to do it.

00:52:22.000 So they absorbed the Red Devils and became Fates Assembly of Red Devils as a prospect charter in Manassas, Virginia.

00:52:30.000 I just don't feel like my money's being spent well enough.

00:52:33.000 And the January 6th meandering is a perfect example of that.

00:52:38.000 Check out 3-3.

00:52:40.000 They're just so happy to get the bad guy, right?

00:52:42.000 The bad guys have to be Trump supporters.

00:52:45.000 They have to be a threat to our nation.

00:52:47.000 That's the must-have.

00:52:48.000 And now everything sort of goes backwards and fills in that must-have laundry list.

00:52:54.000 It's like you bake a cake and then you have to get the ingredients afterwards.

00:52:58.000 MSNBC pundit Matthew Dowd, Capitol Riot was worse than 9-11 because it continues to rip our country apart.

00:53:07.000 That is true that it continues to rip our country apart.

00:53:10.000 My wife just got dumped by one of her closest friends, but is it the Capitol Riot's fault?

00:53:17.000 I think we're in the most perilous time since 1861 and the advent of the Civil War.

00:53:24.000 Down said, what a fucking imbecile.

00:53:28.000 Look at what's Curtis Hauk say?

00:53:30.000 Let me see.

00:53:31.000 This is absolutely bonkers and offensive to the thousands murdered on 9-11.

00:53:35.000 Yeah, 3,000 people died that day because of a terrorist attack from jihadists who had been planning it forever and still plan it, still want us dead.

00:53:46.000 This was not an accident where your MAGA grandma wandered into a Capitol building.

00:53:51.000 9-11 was a culmination of, you could argue, hundreds of years of hatred of the West.

00:54:01.000 I don't know much about Matt Dowd.

00:54:04.000 I was yesterday.

00:54:05.000 I was in Kentucky.

00:54:06.000 I decided to go to Lincoln's birthplace and his boyhood home.

00:54:10.000 And I was reflecting about it because one of the things Lincoln said was, America will never be destroyed from outside.

00:54:16.000 America will destroy itself.

00:54:18.000 And I think that's what I fear about right now.

00:54:21.000 And one of the things, if you think about this, what would happen if after 9-11 we had done nothing?

00:54:27.000 Isn't this a perfect example of someone accusing someone else of something they're doing?

00:54:33.000 This is so, what's the word?

00:54:35.000 Macro?

00:54:37.000 Meta.

00:54:38.000 Meta.

00:54:39.000 Hey, meta.

00:54:40.000 Oh, it's kind of classic Sun Tzu, the art of war, divide and conquer.

00:54:45.000 He's saying that we are using rhetoric to separate this country as he separates this country by pretending, he knows it was not the same as 9-11, by pretending that the meandering was 9-11.

00:55:00.000 We had done nothing.

00:55:01.000 Think about that.

00:55:02.000 If we had done nothing after 9-11.

00:55:04.000 And to me, though there was less loss of life on January 6th, January 6th was worse than 9-11 because it's continued to rip our country apart and give permission for people to pursue autocratic means.

00:55:17.000 And so I think less loss of life than we had.

00:55:20.000 As I've said to you before, I think we're in the most perilous point in time since 1861 in the advent of the Civil War.

00:55:27.000 I do too.

00:55:28.000 I do too.

00:55:29.000 It frightens me.

00:55:29.000 You know what scares me the most, Matthew, is that I'm not sure that at least elected Democrats in Washington agree with us are as afraid as we are.

00:55:36.000 You know, I said yesterday, talking with Malcolm Nance and Susan Del Persio as Republican strategist.

00:55:41.000 Oh, shock.

00:55:42.000 I've hung out with Malcolm Nance before.

00:55:44.000 I'm convinced he's a complete fraud.

00:55:46.000 I don't think he's ever been abroad.

00:55:48.000 He's a fucking liar, as far as I'm concerned.

00:55:51.000 Has he been in abroad?

00:55:53.000 He's their war expert who claims that he was in Afghanistan for 10 years.

00:55:57.000 He learned Arabic or fucking Urdu, whatever they speak, and he became a Muslim over there.

00:56:06.000 I think he said that.

00:56:07.000 He's a fucking lunatic.

00:56:10.000 I met him and I sat with him when Ann Coulter was doing a talk at some debate.

00:56:15.000 And it was just at a comedy club.

00:56:17.000 And he goes, it was before Trump was elected.

00:56:20.000 And he goes, how can you support a man who's clearly mentally ill and will have his finger on the button and be in the White House where we could all die?

00:56:33.000 And she's like, where did the crazy shit come from?

00:56:36.000 I don't understand this thing.

00:56:37.000 This is Coulter talking.

00:56:39.000 And as she explains that the rumor that he's insane doesn't make any sense, he keeps yelling, nuclear warheads!

00:56:47.000 Nuclear warheads!

00:56:50.000 Nuclear warheads!

00:56:56.000 Like a lunatic, until we had to tell him to shut up.

00:56:59.000 You just go through that door and directly down.

00:57:04.000 This is a distinguished speaker series, Malcolm Nance.

00:57:07.000 And I talk to other military guys that go, I don't think he was ever there.

00:57:11.000 Or if he was, he was there for like an afternoon and fixed the computer and came home and became Mr. War vet.

00:57:18.000 Everybody says, ooh, you're an ex-spy, so you know all about this stuff and you're going to give us information.

00:57:22.000 No.

00:57:23.000 No, this is an unclassified presentation.

00:57:26.000 This is Neil deGrasse Spicy.

00:57:32.000 This is just unclassified.

00:57:35.000 But what you're getting is you are getting...

00:57:37.000 Because I was never a spy and I don't have any classified information.

00:57:41.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:57:43.000 Off of a tangent.

00:57:44.000 So go back to the original Joy Reid and Matthew Dowd.

00:57:49.000 I forgot who Matthew Dowd is.

00:57:51.000 Are you thinking of Michael Dowd?

00:57:53.000 The ex-cop, the dirty cop, cool guy?

00:57:55.000 Oh, that guy's awesome.

00:57:57.000 But who's Matt Dowd?

00:57:58.000 I'll look him up.

00:57:59.000 Down what this looks like to me.

00:58:01.000 It looks directly like fascism.

00:58:03.000 It looks like Mussolini's Italy.

00:58:07.000 Yeah, it's exactly like Mussolini's Italy.

00:58:10.000 You know, they almost dragged out Ted Pence.

00:58:14.000 President Byron.

00:58:15.000 Yeah, President Byron was almost murdered along with vice president.

00:58:22.000 The only thing that kept him from being murdered is not existing.

00:58:26.000 We're looking for Ted Pence.

00:58:28.000 I'm Mike Pence.

00:58:29.000 Yeah, I don't know who the fuck you are.

00:58:32.000 Shouldn't you do this in normal search?

00:58:35.000 I don't need to see his bald head.

00:58:37.000 I already saw him.

00:58:38.000 News.

00:58:38.000 No, all.

00:58:41.000 yeah, Wikipedia clicked.

00:58:45.000 He's an American political consultant.

00:58:48.000 He was the chief strategist for the Bush-Cheney 2004 presidential campaign.

00:58:54.000 Oh, so he's one of those traders that they love because it makes them look more astute.

00:59:00.000 Now, I'm a conservative, but this is too bad.

00:59:02.000 I used to be a conservative until they went crazy and started reenacting, basically duplicating the Civil War and 9-11 at the same time.

00:59:10.000 Now I have to force my child to be a different gender.

00:59:13.000 That sounds like a joke I just made.

00:59:14.000 It's not.

00:59:16.000 That's what he said.

00:59:17.000 He said it was 9-11 and he said it was the Civil War.

00:59:23.000 Do you think he's saying that because he was, all right, the Bush-Cheney administration conquered 9-11, right?

00:59:28.000 Like, it makes him more relevant to be like, you needed me back then.

00:59:31.000 Now you need this.

00:59:32.000 Bush-Cheney was neocons.

00:59:34.000 Neocons are just liberals who were enjoying their state of the union until liberals started saying, fuck Israel.

00:59:42.000 And then they said, oh, wait a minute, I still want foreign wars because they're good for Israel.

00:59:46.000 So they pretended to be conservatives in order to further Israel.

00:59:50.000 I'm saying this as a Zionist.

00:59:52.000 But they're not really conservatives.

00:59:54.000 They're Zionist liberals.

00:59:56.000 That's what neocons are.

00:59:57.000 And that's who Matt Dowd is.

00:59:58.000 And that's who Cheney and Bush are.

01:00:00.000 I think Cheney was a neocon because it was good money.

01:00:04.000 I think Bush was a neocon because he's a moron and everyone told him what to do.

01:00:09.000 But when you get into like, oh, what's his name?

01:00:12.000 Rumsfeld.

01:00:14.000 It's a little more strategic.

01:00:15.000 He just passed away.

01:00:16.000 He sure did.

01:00:19.000 Check out 3.5.

01:00:20.000 I'm jumping ahead one.

01:00:22.000 This is my alma mater, Vice.

01:00:26.000 It's talking about reporters.

01:00:30.000 I love the picture they use, you dummies.

01:00:33.000 See, this is something about media that a lot of people don't get if they weren't like designing a magazine or putting out a website.

01:00:40.000 The person who writes the article writes an article about fire and brimstones and death and suffering and tornadoes and everyone dead, right?

01:00:47.000 And he's like, that was scary.

01:00:49.000 Then the person who chooses the picture and often the headline can have a totally different agenda.

01:00:55.000 The headline writer wants to suck you in and suck you off.

01:01:00.000 And then the designer is like, is often gay for obvious reasons.

01:01:06.000 And he's like, I want the most color.

01:01:08.000 And like, I want, if we're doing the insurrection, I have to have the dude with the horns.

01:01:13.000 So someone writes an article about the crippling trauma that the Capitol Hill reporters are still going through.

01:01:21.000 Okay, good job.

01:01:22.000 Good piece of propaganda.

01:01:24.000 Then the headline writer goes so, so angry, which ruins it.

01:01:29.000 So he sounds gay.

01:01:31.000 And then the designer chooses the most benign character in this entire meandering, which is the lunatic who wanted to use yoga and meditation to save America.

01:01:44.000 The QAdon weirdo who was...

01:01:47.000 I mean, when I say meandering, he's the first person in my head when I say that.

01:01:52.000 We have footage of him walking in to Congress or whatever it was and going, hey, dude.

01:01:58.000 With the cops in tow.

01:02:00.000 What?

01:02:01.000 With the cops in tow.

01:02:02.000 With the cops in tow.

01:02:03.000 Just saying, don't mess anything up.

01:02:05.000 Yeah, and the cops literally saying, can you guys leave?

01:02:10.000 Like, imagine riot police with their shields marching up to the protesters and going, can you guys leave?

01:02:17.000 And then the rioters going, we are going to leave.

01:02:19.000 We just want to make sure there's not too much of a mess here.

01:02:23.000 Which is what happened.

01:02:24.000 That's the second time on this show I made a joke that's true.

01:02:27.000 Yeah.

01:02:30.000 So yeah, all of the reporters interviewed for this story are worried that the Capitol riot won't be a one-off attack.

01:02:38.000 By the way, that shows you did bad journalism.

01:02:40.000 If everyone you interviewed has the same opinion, it means that you didn't get both sides, you fucking losers.

01:02:48.000 You know what I'm going to do?

01:02:48.000 I'm going to go back to Vice as undercover boss and just become an intern there.

01:02:56.000 Yeah, I'd be happy to take all the garbage.

01:02:58.000 I'll have like a Sean Anna Ramones accent from Queens and then slowly like get in there.

01:03:05.000 I might want to try writing an article or something.

01:03:08.000 You guys, I heard that the Capitol people were really upset.

01:03:12.000 Could I try one of that?

01:03:13.000 Like, I guess so, you stupid fucking Gino.

01:03:17.000 And then slowly just rebuild it and take it over and grade again.

01:03:20.000 They would like you the same reason they'd like the Ramones.

01:03:22.000 Be like, he's got this rustic elegance.

01:03:25.000 He's like old school New York.

01:03:27.000 I like blue-collar people.

01:03:29.000 And then that article got a lot of attention there, Gino.

01:03:33.000 Thanks a lot.

01:03:33.000 I was just saying what was on my mind.

01:03:35.000 I think I had some good points.

01:03:38.000 It's early back to normal, but sometimes it feels like one of those horror movies like the end of Jaws.

01:03:48.000 They're so unaware of what pussies they sound like.

01:03:53.000 So the meandering reminds you of a shark bigger than this studio that ate, remember what was in his stomach?

01:03:59.000 It was like a license plate, a kid's leg.

01:04:02.000 Like, that's what the insurrectionists are.

01:04:05.000 Everything feels copacetic on the beach, but you wonder if there's anything out there.

01:04:21.000 A six-year-old grandma who supports Trump and doesn't think the election was real.

01:04:30.000 My pillow guy.

01:04:33.000 Tucker Carlson has an opinion.

01:04:36.000 Help!

01:04:37.000 Help!

01:04:42.000 And the Shark.

01:04:43.000 The Sharkers motivated by Trump, but also planned this out months in advance.

01:04:47.000 This is...

01:04:48.000 And by the way, Jaws was not worse than 9-11 or the Civil War.

01:04:53.000 No.

01:04:54.000 I don't know what the casualties are in JAWS.

01:04:56.000 I'm going to say like 11 Just because it's a funny number, 11.

01:05:03.000 11.

01:05:04.000 11!

01:05:07.000 11!

01:05:09.000 I want to go to the 11th floor.

01:05:12.000 11!

01:05:13.000 Can never hear that number the same.

01:05:18.000 That was rarely seen footage of the January 6th insurrection.

01:05:22.000 Yeah, actually, that was pretty bad.

01:05:25.000 That was bad, by the way.

01:05:26.000 I'm not going to deny it.

01:05:27.000 A giant fucking shark crawling up on your boat and eating your legs.

01:05:32.000 We don't advocate that.

01:05:34.000 No.

01:05:35.000 Go lower.

01:05:36.000 Ginger Gibson, a fantastically huge pussy, I'm hoping as a woman or a gay, a politics editor, NBC News, has covered natural disasters and murder scenes.

01:05:49.000 But this was different.

01:05:51.000 That day, we weren't just observers.

01:05:54.000 We were one of the targets, she said.

01:05:56.000 Oh, thank God it's a woman.

01:05:58.000 A lot of us reporters are having a tough time with that.

01:06:01.000 This reminds me of an Adrian Tomine New Yorker cover for some reason.

01:06:05.000 What does that remind you of?

01:06:06.000 Oof.

01:06:07.000 That reminds me of Last Call.

01:06:10.000 You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

01:06:14.000 All right.

01:06:15.000 Do you have Coke?

01:06:19.000 Do you have a way to get it into your skull?

01:06:21.000 Because your nose seems sealed.

01:06:24.000 I'm going to have to use a key to pour Coke into your butthole, but let's go back to your place, ginge.

01:06:31.000 Keep going, though.

01:06:32.000 There's more.

01:06:34.000 Like, it's one thing to be a pussy.

01:06:36.000 I'm a pussy about a lot of stuff.

01:06:38.000 But to proudly talk about it.

01:06:41.000 I'm sparring with Huey on Thursday, and he doesn't drink, and he's not going to be hungover, and I know I'm going to get a headache, and I know my forehead's going to be tender after.

01:06:53.000 And then expect sympathy.

01:06:54.000 Keep going down.

01:06:57.000 I'm still not sleeping like I used to.

01:07:00.000 Even to this day, said PBS News Hour correspondent Lisa Desjardins.

01:07:05.000 I became kind of an insomniac, to be totally honest.

01:07:09.000 I mean, keep going.

01:07:11.000 It's gold.

01:07:13.000 It's my office.

01:07:15.000 The building I love most in the fucking world.

01:07:19.000 I used to call the Capitol my girlfriend.

01:07:22.000 I've devoted 15 years of my goddamn life to that building, said freelance reporter Matt Pussyface, choking up.

01:07:32.000 Choking up.

01:07:34.000 Oh my God.

01:07:35.000 Now, I don't want to be there.

01:07:38.000 Okay, we have to look up this guy, Matt Laszlo.

01:07:42.000 Dude, do you have a dad?

01:07:45.000 We got to get Matt Laszlo's dad on the show and just say, so how are you feeling about this particular quote?

01:07:52.000 And how would your dead dad feel knowing his grandson said that the Capitol was the building he loved most in the quote unquote fucking world, called it his girlfriend, and then started crying to Vice News, saying he doesn't want to be at his job anymore.

01:08:10.000 Because the guy with buffalo fucking horns meandered.

01:08:18.000 Yeah.

01:08:21.000 Yeah.

01:08:22.000 You're a failure, Matt.

01:08:24.000 Your grandfather died early.

01:08:25.000 You know why?

01:08:26.000 He died of shame.

01:08:29.000 His legacy is you and your stupid fucking face.

01:08:35.000 You and your Tarantino skull.

01:08:37.000 With those kind of guys, I honestly, I feel like a homo because I look at them and I go, please be gay.

01:08:42.000 Please be gay.

01:08:43.000 Like I want them off the books.

01:08:45.000 If he's gay, then I'm not here to criticize him.

01:08:47.000 He's obviously low-T, whatever.

01:08:49.000 But don't be one of us, please.

01:08:51.000 Whoa.

01:08:52.000 Did he get stung by a bee?

01:08:53.000 Oh, my God.

01:08:55.000 January 6th was worse than my bee stinging incident that happened two hours before this picture was taken.

01:09:00.000 You know what?

01:09:02.000 His face looks like you were in a car accident and you lost your face.

01:09:06.000 And they said, we have some good news and some bad news.

01:09:08.000 We can rebuild your face, but we're going to have to use your bag.

01:09:13.000 And you're like, okay, whatever works.

01:09:17.000 Any more pics of Matt?

01:09:19.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:19.000 He looks so insecure in that photo, too, doesn't he?

01:09:22.000 Well, we're driving pretty fast.

01:09:25.000 And the dog doesn't have a seatbelt.

01:09:27.000 He could go right through the windshield.

01:09:30.000 What?

01:09:30.000 Nothing says call your therapist like a house floor debate about the insurrection you were trapped in as some people who gave you personal threats overran the Capitol Council.

01:09:37.000 Personal death threats.

01:09:39.000 Yeah, right.

01:09:39.000 The personal death threat was like, fuck you.

01:09:42.000 I hope you fucking die.

01:09:45.000 Not like, Matt Laszlo, we saw you at Trader Joe's on Thursday.

01:09:50.000 We're going to fucking kill you at 32 Claremore Slane.

01:09:55.000 Oh, what's happening here?

01:09:57.000 He's growing plants.

01:09:59.000 What?

01:09:59.000 Look at his tattoo.

01:10:04.000 Ah!

01:10:05.000 What is that?

01:10:08.000 Maybe he's dumb.

01:10:12.000 You know what I mean?

01:10:13.000 What is that, Chester?

01:10:15.000 Zoom in on that.

01:10:17.000 Let's see.

01:10:18.000 Hey, I let some weeds grow and now I want to eat them.

01:10:24.000 What is happening?

01:10:25.000 Oh, imagine the story behind that.

01:10:27.000 It was a sketch I did at a party with my friend Jen, who was like my fucking soulmate, I swear to God.

01:10:34.000 And we were talking about a dystopian future where only the strong would survive and all the Trumpers would die and it would be up and to the right.

01:10:44.000 Our port garden.

01:10:45.000 Sort of like a woke Wakanda.

01:10:48.000 And I made it a tattoo.

01:10:50.000 All right.

01:10:51.000 Can we let's see a couple more?

01:10:53.000 I'm worried my alcohol intake is making me go on this.

01:10:56.000 No, no, I want to see more like how scared they are.

01:11:02.000 My fucking girlfriend.

01:11:06.000 Wait, he's the gay that says my girlfriend.

01:11:08.000 Oh, so he's a straight.

01:11:08.000 He's straight.

01:11:09.000 Yeah.

01:11:09.000 Whoa.

01:11:10.000 That's a weird thing.

01:11:11.000 Maybe it was like a joke girlfriend, like my work wife.

01:11:14.000 My girlfriend.

01:11:16.000 Like that.

01:11:17.000 Yeah.

01:11:17.000 I was like, hey, girlfriend.

01:11:19.000 Yes, queen.

01:11:20.000 Oh, my God.

01:11:21.000 It keeps going.

01:11:22.000 There's a lot more.

01:11:23.000 Wow.

01:11:23.000 Okay, we'll see how long we can last.

01:11:25.000 Here we go.

01:11:26.000 I do remember just feeling unsafe in my house, said Wasson.

01:11:30.000 It occurred to me, like, I wonder if some protesters could show up in my home.

01:11:37.000 Yeah, they really give a shit about you, Wasson.

01:11:40.000 I was trying to assess whether there was actually any danger to me and my family.

01:11:44.000 Your family, yeah.

01:11:46.000 You want to talk about danger to people?

01:11:48.000 Try being on the right.

01:11:50.000 We are the ones getting attacked in the streets.

01:11:53.000 We are the ones who can't show pictures of our kids.

01:11:55.000 No one gives a fuck about you, you loser.

01:11:59.000 Keep going down.

01:12:03.000 The next day I was so angry.

01:12:05.000 So, so angry.

01:12:06.000 That made the headline.

01:12:08.000 Said Congressional Reporting Veteran John Breesham.

01:12:12.000 Anyone who doesn't want to come up here again, I don't blame them at all.

01:12:16.000 Even a little bit.

01:12:18.000 One iota.

01:12:19.000 They all talk like little kids.

01:12:21.000 Not even one.

01:12:22.000 Not even one grain of sand.

01:12:25.000 When the Capitol Wyatt happened, I was 34 and a half.

01:12:30.000 Read our full story.

01:12:31.000 Yeah, that's the whole dang thing.

01:12:32.000 We already did.

01:12:34.000 And of course, our favorite frothing-at-the-mouth liberal, Amy Siskind, my neighbor, is still pushing for Proud Boys to pay.

01:12:47.000 They must pay for the insurrection.

01:12:50.000 Kind of surprising that the Proud Boys haven't been classified as a domestic terrorism organization.

01:12:55.000 Okay, Amy, what about the Moors?

01:12:57.000 What about Antifa?

01:12:59.000 And then final story.

01:13:01.000 Capital Cop Michael Bird, I believe his name is, is an incompetent boob.

01:13:08.000 And that Antifa dude said, jump, jump, get in there, get in there.

01:13:13.000 She jumped in, which was stupid.

01:13:16.000 And she got too close to Ted Pence.

01:13:20.000 And this fucking trigger happy moron shot her dead.

01:13:24.000 And we find out that this guy has a long history of being totally incompetent because he's an affirmative action hire.

01:13:31.000 Mike Bird was hired because he's black.

01:13:33.000 Mark Bird.

01:13:34.000 He dresses like a fucking idiot.

01:13:37.000 He dresses like Tariq Nasheed.

01:13:39.000 Yeah, with the matching tie and the big old pocket square.

01:13:42.000 When you're Secret Service, don't have an elaborate floral pocket square with a matching tie.

01:13:49.000 But there's all kinds of stories of him leaving his service weapon in the bathroom.

01:13:54.000 He's got a laundry list of incompetence.

01:13:57.000 And he got Ashley Babbitt killed.

01:13:59.000 So when you were saying the death toll wasn't quite so bad at the meandering, you're talking about Ashley Babbitt.

01:14:08.000 Because the cops were not killed there, I'm afraid.

01:14:10.000 They don't even show his picture in this article.

01:14:13.000 This guy's...

01:14:14.000 No, you've got to Google image of him.

01:14:15.000 Successfully hidden off the internet for the most part.

01:14:18.000 Well, you don't have to Google images.

01:14:19.000 You saw Legos thing, right?

01:14:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:22.000 I didn't mention that's on my notes, but yeah.

01:14:24.000 They caught someone with one of the meanderers.

01:14:28.000 They went to his house, and while going through his shit, they caught him with a Lego of the Capitol building and a bunch of other buildings.

01:14:38.000 So what's your point there, you dunces?

01:14:42.000 He's planning what entrance to go into?

01:14:44.000 That's like their model when they're doing their plan with the blueprints?

01:14:50.000 Wait, and then Lego.

01:14:52.000 You know, a while ago, January 9th, fake Capital Invasion Lego set goes viral.

01:14:59.000 Oh, no, that's that Lego set that they memed?

01:15:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:05.000 But, um...

01:15:06.000 Yes, right?

01:15:08.000 That's that.

01:15:08.000 And then, you know, ages 6 plus.

01:15:11.000 And they have Capital Invasion on there.

01:15:13.000 Okay.

01:15:14.000 You know what we should have ready at all times is the footage of them wandering in where the guy was like, hey, man.

01:15:21.000 Yeah.

01:15:22.000 Bullhorns, where he's like, my favorite dude.

01:15:26.000 I think I have it here.

01:15:28.000 It's sort of like, yeah, I'm going to have to dig it up because it sums up this entire debate.

01:15:35.000 Was it a meandering or was it an insurrection?

01:15:39.000 The New York Times spent 9 million hours carefully putting together everything that looks bad, like those dummies smashing the windows, whatever.

01:15:53.000 And that's the takeaway.

01:15:56.000 But no, I want to see the real footage.

01:15:58.000 I want to see the whole thing.

01:16:00.000 And a massive part of it was wandering.

01:16:04.000 In fact, I'm looking for this clip because it is where I got the name meandering.

01:16:12.000 Uh-oh, I'm back to February 8th.

01:16:14.000 That can't be good.

01:16:17.000 Shazbot.

01:16:19.000 Rock the Shazbot.

01:16:23.000 This does not make for good TV.

01:16:26.000 Wait, wait.

01:16:27.000 Looking at pictures.

01:16:28.000 See here.

01:16:29.000 These guys, they appreciated the shout-out, by the way.

01:16:32.000 Stop hate.

01:16:34.000 And they're doing the documentary that properly displays what happened that day.

01:16:43.000 Some of the suspicious Antifa members dressing up from black into MAGA gear and suspicious person, you know.

01:16:53.000 Yeah.

01:16:54.000 You know, when there's 8 billion hours of something, you can make it look scary.

01:16:59.000 But we know it was not.

01:17:01.000 It was stupid.

01:17:03.000 I don't think it was evil.

01:17:04.000 I think it was silly.

01:17:06.000 Like trashing a bar when you get kicked out.

01:17:09.000 So they're correcting the New York Times hit piece and everything.

01:17:12.000 So this is a good one-stop shop.

01:17:15.000 They say, look at all this bullshit.

01:17:21.000 That absolves Trump.

01:17:22.000 And then...

01:17:23.000 I'll look forward here.

01:17:24.000 They probably have that footage.

01:17:26.000 I don't know how many people are watching this live.

01:17:30.000 Let's take some calls.

01:17:31.000 All right.

01:17:34.000 I always have racism on my sheet of my notes, and I'm always just like, oh, fuck.

01:17:40.000 So bored of it.

01:17:42.000 We are bored of it.

01:17:44.000 It's like living in Quebec and constantly talking about English versus French.

01:17:48.000 Although that's different because there is English versus French conflict.

01:17:52.000 There is not black versus white conflict in this country.

01:17:55.000 It's not a thing.

01:17:57.000 There was, but for the most part, Americans have learned to separate themselves from people they don't like or they have conflict with or that don't like them.

01:18:08.000 Like, we're all Hasidic Jews in a way.

01:18:11.000 Hasidic Jews have chosen areas like Curious Joel and they said, you know what?

01:18:15.000 I am very, very traditionally Jewish.

01:18:19.000 I don't like a lot of the stuff you're talking about.

01:18:21.000 I'm just going to stay here in my little enclave and do my thing.

01:18:25.000 And you can go do your thing and let's not talk.

01:18:29.000 Okay.

01:18:30.000 And that's true of Puerto Ricans, of black neighborhoods.

01:18:33.000 You see all of this voluntary segregation.

01:18:35.000 White liberal suburbs like to pretend they're into diversity, but they're very big on eugenics.

01:18:41.000 They're careful about who their daughter dates, where their daughter goes to school.

01:18:45.000 It's all a big plan to propagate the species and separate groups.

01:18:50.000 There's a huge myth of the American melting pot.

01:18:52.000 It's dead a long time ago.

01:18:54.000 It's totally different groups, totally isolated.

01:18:58.000 So they abolished segregation, and then it became voluntary on all sides.

01:19:04.000 And the irony is the people from the whitest enclaves are the ones mad at everyone else for not being diverse enough.

01:19:13.000 And we're sitting with a bunch of different races and not genders, but sexual preferences going, why don't you put your money where your mouth is and actually talk to a black person?

01:19:24.000 You don't seem to like them.

01:19:25.000 I never see you with them.

01:19:30.000 You are on the air.

01:19:35.000 Oh, now I got to get Maddie's mic.

01:19:37.000 Understand why we have to stay.

01:19:39.000 Why does everyone get?

01:19:39.000 No, you know what?

01:19:40.000 I got you.

01:19:40.000 You have one thing.

01:19:41.000 Got it?

01:19:42.000 Thank you for calling.

01:19:42.000 Okay, great.

01:19:43.000 This is sounding like something that's challenging, and it's also something Ryan's doing, which is not good.

01:19:50.000 Wait, do we have a call background, first of all?

01:19:53.000 No, we don't.

01:19:55.000 You have to do three things at once.

01:19:56.000 I have to make a pee.

01:19:57.000 You know, one might.

01:19:58.000 But I'm not going to.

01:19:59.000 No, you're fucked not.

01:20:00.000 You better piss into a mug.

01:20:02.000 Just put that on the thing.

01:20:06.000 You're throwing expensive equipment around?

01:20:10.000 You should have a piss jug by your desk.

01:20:12.000 Yeah, no, I could piss in a thing.

01:20:16.000 Alright, so let's see here what we're sending these people.

01:20:20.000 USB audio device.

01:20:21.000 This should be good.

01:20:22.000 You want to take the first caller and check it out?

01:20:24.000 We basically just asked Stephen Hawkings to breakdance.

01:20:26.000 You know, when my grandfather was a bookie, Johnny McGinnis, he would recalculate the bets in his head as he took them in.

01:20:39.000 And you would hope that your son will be able to say that about your job.

01:20:42.000 My dad would have three mics at once.

01:20:46.000 One was going into tape, one was going to the Skype, one was a guest, and then he'd also take the calls.

01:20:52.000 But I have a feeling he won't be saying that.

01:20:55.000 He'll be saying, they'll be saying, oh, wait, it's a chick, right?

01:20:58.000 What's her name going to be?

01:21:00.000 We don't know yet.

01:21:02.000 We're down to two different options.

01:21:04.000 I'm guessing that she'll have a show one day where she's an engineer, and the song will be, Julie, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:21:13.000 That's not true.

01:21:15.000 That will not happen.

01:21:16.000 Because I'll be there.

01:21:19.000 Yeah.

01:21:20.000 And their video clip will be Ryan saying, there's nothing wrong with that.

01:21:25.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

01:21:27.000 Oh, that's much funnier than my joke.

01:21:30.000 Well, you have to do it in my voice.

01:21:32.000 So that way somebody can clip it.

01:21:34.000 Wow, you're already screwing up a lot.

01:21:35.000 Jason.

01:21:37.000 What's up, Jace?

01:21:41.000 Hello?

01:21:42.000 Hello?

01:21:44.000 Oh, wow.

01:21:44.000 I got through right away.

01:21:45.000 You guys must have had a lot of colors today.

01:21:48.000 No, not really.

01:21:49.000 We're not going to be able to do it.

01:21:52.000 Yeah, I thought I'd be back in my car.

01:21:53.000 I'm not walking my dog.

01:21:54.000 Sorry if it's windy.

01:21:55.000 So, um, your player, I was wondering if you guys could add a feature where I could skip back or forward 10 seconds at a time.

01:22:04.000 You know, I like how you can do it with YouTube.

01:22:06.000 Yeah, we'll look into that.

01:22:07.000 Thanks for calling.

01:22:08.000 That's a good suggestion.

01:22:09.000 If you rotate the phone.

01:22:10.000 Not the most dynamic.

01:22:12.000 What happens if you rotate the phone?

01:22:14.000 If you rotate the phone, you have it in full screen, right?

01:22:17.000 Yeah.

01:22:20.000 Wait, wait.

01:22:20.000 I got a...

01:22:21.000 I can't hear you, Maddie.

01:22:23.000 Can we turn your phone?

01:22:25.000 Maddie just said there is.

01:22:26.000 It's 15 seconds.

01:22:28.000 Yeah, I think you have to go sideways.

01:22:30.000 Okay, you have to turn it sideways and large.

01:22:32.000 Wait, talk a little louder, Matty?

01:22:34.000 The bottom left corner on the app, when you turn your phone sideways.

01:22:38.000 Yeah, here I am doing it like crazy.

01:22:39.000 You can advance it and rewind it.

01:22:42.000 So that's a stupid waste of a call.

01:22:44.000 Next.

01:22:45.000 All right.

01:22:46.000 We got Matt talking about casual sex.

01:22:49.000 Oh, sexy.

01:22:51.000 Good afternoon, guys.

01:22:53.000 That's my favorite drop.

01:22:55.000 What's going on?

01:22:57.000 Gavin, you made an acutely painful comment when you talked about the casual sex lifestyle being comparable to that of a fag.

01:23:04.000 That one hit me home.

01:23:05.000 I actually called into the Gavin McKinnis show a few years back and told you about a threesome with this Asian girl and a Brazilian girl.

01:23:11.000 I don't know if you remember that, but I've had my fair share of casual sex and I'm definitely looking for more of a relationship.

01:23:17.000 But what do you say to guys who don't want to faff?

01:23:20.000 They don't want to masturbate their lives away, but they also need sex.

01:23:24.000 And how do you strike that balance while kind of looking for the relationship?

01:23:27.000 But in the interim, how do you make sure that you're not just masturbating and watching porn and you're actually getting sex?

01:23:33.000 Well, that's the beauty of the whole formula is if you can't get it anywhere else, you go out and get it.

01:23:41.000 That's like, you know, how am I going to learn to hunt if people are always bringing Kentucky Fried Chicken to my house?

01:23:48.000 Say no to the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

01:23:50.000 So the only way you can eat is to go out and hunt.

01:23:54.000 You have to deprive yourself.

01:23:55.000 At some point do you become a lavish stag?

01:23:57.000 And does it just become like a lifestyle?

01:24:00.000 Okay, so like where's the fish?

01:24:01.000 So you deprive yourself of the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

01:24:03.000 You go out and hunt.

01:24:05.000 But after constantly hunting and hunting and hunting and hunting, you get the idea.

01:24:10.000 It's time for agriculture.

01:24:11.000 It's time to sort of raise some cows.

01:24:14.000 And eventually you should, I mean, come on, dude, 10 years.

01:24:18.000 You start finding a girl that's funny.

01:24:20.000 There's a million ways to tell if she's the one.

01:24:22.000 Do you enjoy breakfast with her the next day?

01:24:25.000 Are you sad when she leaves?

01:24:28.000 Is she funny?

01:24:29.000 Do you not want To just fucking shove her out the window the second you jizz on her tits.

01:24:34.000 And then it's time to settle down.

01:24:36.000 10 years is enough partying.

01:24:38.000 Time to make a baby.

01:24:39.000 I think I know why.

01:24:43.000 She rules with his drops.

01:24:44.000 Thank you so much.

01:24:45.000 Okay, bye.

01:24:47.000 I think I know why.

01:24:52.000 I think I know why.

01:24:55.000 I hate how they're clapping as he says that, too.

01:25:01.000 We got Danny on the line, dog.

01:25:05.000 Danny.

01:25:11.000 What's going on, Gab?

01:25:12.000 Hey, man.

01:25:13.000 How you doing?

01:25:14.000 Hey, so we're heading into the weekend, a couple days here, and the bars are starting to open up in California.

01:25:20.000 I'm wondering if you have any tips for picking up chicks at the bar.

01:25:25.000 Yeah.

01:25:27.000 Sorry, my wife's mad at me.

01:25:28.000 She doesn't realize that I'm at work.

01:25:32.000 Here's a great way to get a chick.

01:25:35.000 I've told you the trick earlier about saying like, you're so pretty I can't look at you.

01:25:38.000 But here's another one.

01:25:40.000 Lie.

01:25:42.000 All's fair and love and more.

01:25:44.000 So you ready for a great lie?

01:25:46.000 You walk in, there's some girls at the bar and you go, holy shit.

01:25:53.000 I just saw a guy outside with no pants on and a red turtleneck shirt talking to someone.

01:26:00.000 Someone in a scooter pulled up and said, what the fuck are you doing?

01:26:04.000 He was about to beat someone up.

01:26:05.000 And he said, I just need someone to love.

01:26:08.000 No one.

01:26:08.000 I'm not kidding.

01:26:09.000 I'm not lying.

01:26:11.000 It doesn't say that.

01:26:12.000 You're a liar.

01:26:16.000 And then the guy in the red.

01:26:18.000 When did you last see him?

01:26:20.000 You can be incredulous at your own story, too.

01:26:22.000 When was the last time you saw a red turtleneck?

01:26:25.000 Do they even make those?

01:26:26.000 It makes me think of Satanists.

01:26:28.000 Now you're giving some color.

01:26:31.000 Anyway, he jumps on the back of the guy's scooter and they took off together.

01:26:37.000 I'm like, I honestly thought I was in a movie.

01:26:40.000 What the fuck?

01:26:41.000 And now that justifies you talking to them because you're in such a daze from what you just saw, you had to tell somebody.

01:26:50.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.

01:26:53.000 All right.

01:26:53.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:26:55.000 Yeah, make up a bullshit story.

01:26:57.000 Some guy in a wheelchair.

01:26:59.000 It's got to be, they have to be gone, obviously, because she might run outside and go, really?

01:27:02.000 I got to go see that.

01:27:04.000 You can't say, like, I saw a dead tiger in the road.

01:27:08.000 It's got to be something that's mobile.

01:27:09.000 Make sure your lie literally has wheels.

01:27:14.000 Like a dead tiger.

01:27:16.000 What?

01:27:16.000 Like a dead tiger.

01:27:19.000 I'm the tiger king.

01:27:20.000 I don't like carabiscans.

01:27:22.000 Dude, your tiger king is...

01:27:24.000 I got a dust.

01:27:26.000 It's gone sour.

01:27:28.000 Your tiger king is milk.

01:27:30.000 No, you haven't heard him since he's been in the clink.

01:27:32.000 That's what he sounds like now.

01:27:34.000 Okay.

01:27:36.000 We got Big Brother documentary online.

01:27:40.000 Hey, guys.

01:27:41.000 Maddie, by the way, you're awesome on the show, man.

01:27:44.000 We should have you more on the show.

01:27:46.000 Appreciate it.

01:27:47.000 It'd be awesome to have you on there.

01:27:50.000 Yeah, Galvin, I was watching the Big Brother documentary just while I was waiting for you guys to get all your shit together because I know you guys were bouncing around.

01:27:58.000 But you fucking showed up.

01:27:59.000 You know you're in that, right?

01:28:01.000 I assume you do.

01:28:02.000 Yeah.

01:28:02.000 I know I'm in a documentary.

01:28:05.000 So it was kind of crazy because I was like, holy fuck.

01:28:10.000 Your lack of chin is very disturbing, though, because you have like zero goatee right there.

01:28:15.000 Yeah, so that was when we were shooting the movie that's been shelved, and thanks for calling.

01:28:21.000 And we had to do youth scenes when I was like 20.

01:28:26.000 So I had to shave my mustache and beard and get punk hair and diet and stuff.

01:28:31.000 And I was like, whatever, it's for a movie.

01:28:34.000 It'll be cool.

01:28:34.000 It'll be finally released.

01:28:36.000 I'll just be ugly for like six months.

01:28:38.000 And then they shelved the fucking thing.

01:28:40.000 So then when Big Brother call, I have nothing to show.

01:28:42.000 So I draw a mustache on as something.

01:28:47.000 And then I deal with the cards I was dealt.

01:28:51.000 But Maddie and I are both Scottish.

01:28:54.000 Believe it or not, Maddie and I are breathtakingly gorgeous when we go back to Glasgow.

01:28:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:00.000 We have strong chins.

01:29:02.000 We are tall.

01:29:04.000 And we're definitely above average handsome.

01:29:09.000 Now, that says a lot more about Glasgow than it does about us.

01:29:13.000 Exactly.

01:29:14.000 But like, we could, I'm not joking.

01:29:16.000 We could be models in Glasgow.

01:29:20.000 Like, we could do a seniors ad for long distance or something.

01:29:24.000 Like, do you miss your dad?

01:29:26.000 And then I could be like, hey, I miss you too, Paul.

01:29:29.000 How's Australia?

01:29:31.000 And it wouldn't look unusual.

01:29:33.000 Too many hot.

01:29:34.000 Dude, the city, since we've moved to the South Bronx, we go to the city more often.

01:29:39.000 And living up in the burbs and then going into the city, the level of hotness.

01:29:49.000 Even the asses are better.

01:29:51.000 The asses are two bowling balls who are best friends just hanging out in some pants.

01:29:58.000 Or those espadrilles where they tie it around the ankle a bunch of times and there's a big bow like around their ankles.

01:30:06.000 That, but she's skinny with a fat ass and she's blonde and she's walking down the street.

01:30:10.000 Even her walk was awesome.

01:30:13.000 There was at least three times where I was in the Upper West Side meeting Gavin Wax and I would have to go like I just saw someone bite the head off a bat.

01:30:27.000 You're talking like a nine?

01:30:29.000 Oh, yes.

01:30:30.000 Nice.

01:30:31.000 Yeah.

01:30:32.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.

01:30:35.000 The bird, which is the bald eagle.

01:30:39.000 Maybe I took calls too early here.

01:30:41.000 I'm worried we're losing momentum.

01:30:44.000 We got a guy named Justin on.

01:30:45.000 What's up, Justin?

01:30:48.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:30:49.000 Hey, man.

01:30:50.000 How are you today?

01:30:51.000 We're fine.

01:30:52.000 Hey, first off, I just would say real quick, Ryan, you look exactly like A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell, man.

01:30:58.000 Hell yeah.

01:30:59.000 Looks a good movie.

01:31:00.000 I don't say that disparagingly.

01:31:01.000 I mean, that's pretty rad, but you look exactly like AC Slater.

01:31:03.000 Thank you.

01:31:04.000 There's no way to say a negative A.C. Slater reference.

01:31:07.000 Oh, no, man.

01:31:08.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:31:08.000 You're like the captain of the Bay Side Wrestling Team.

01:31:12.000 But, yeah, you were talking about pronouns earlier, man.

01:31:16.000 Yeah.

01:31:17.000 So I went, so I go to a doctor, but I hadn't been there in like five years.

01:31:23.000 Last time I was there, I had this like gorgeous, like beautiful, like super hot doctor, right?

01:31:31.000 And I went to the, this was like five years ago.

01:31:34.000 I went to the doctor's and I forgot why I was there.

01:31:36.000 I didn't want to tell her what was wrong with me because I was like, in my brain, I'm like, oh, I could get with this chick, right?

01:31:41.000 So I was just like, I'm just here for a checkup.

01:31:44.000 So then fast forward, like five years later, I have to go back to the doctor's.

01:31:48.000 So I'm like, oh, yeah, I get to see hot doctor.

01:31:51.000 I got a haircut, right?

01:31:53.000 I'm all like walking on Cloud 9.

01:31:56.000 I go to the doctor's, and the first thing I see is like doctor's office and like this giant rainbow and it's like LGBTQ plus.

01:32:04.000 And I'm like, okay, that's kind of weird.

01:32:07.000 Whatever.

01:32:07.000 It's June.

01:32:08.000 It's Pride Month.

01:32:09.000 I walk in and there's rainbows everywhere.

01:32:12.000 Walk up to the front desk and they're like, oh, hey, Mr. Justin, how are you today?

01:32:16.000 I'm like, okay, how are you?

01:32:17.000 What are your pronouns?

01:32:19.000 And I'm like, huh?

01:32:21.000 What does that mean?

01:32:22.000 Like, pronouns?

01:32:23.000 I'm a dude.

01:32:24.000 I was like, you don't think I'm a girl, right?

01:32:26.000 She's like, oh, no, no, your pronouns, how do you identify?

01:32:29.000 That ain't you.

01:32:30.000 It's a man.

01:32:31.000 What do you mean?

01:32:32.000 She's like, he, him, she, her.

01:32:35.000 I'm like, yeah, no, just, just, just, he.

01:32:38.000 So they're asking that to everyone at doctor's offices now?

01:32:41.000 The problem with a lot of these places, too, is they don't want to get in shit.

01:32:44.000 So they go, uh, I guess your pronouns.

01:32:48.000 Well, no, it's even worse than that.

01:32:50.000 So, like, I give them my insurance card.

01:32:51.000 I sit down.

01:32:52.000 I sit down, and you know how they have, like, highlights magazine or like Time Magazine or whatever?

01:32:57.000 It's like out magazine on the counter, and it was like how one man struggled to be accepted for like his leather obsession, and it's this dude, like, in like leather kink outfit.

01:33:08.000 And I'm like, holy shit.

01:33:10.000 And then, like, looking otherwise.

01:33:12.000 Thanks for calling.

01:33:13.000 That sounds super gay.

01:33:16.000 Yeah, it was, man.

01:33:16.000 It was horrible.

01:33:21.000 This is not getting much better, is it?

01:33:23.000 It's only been a day or two, right?

01:33:26.000 The fear is like when the red spreads.

01:33:29.000 That's all you really got to watch out for is the lines.

01:33:33.000 But the red is starting to spread.

01:33:35.000 You've got to spread.

01:33:40.000 Next call.

01:33:46.000 Nick.

01:33:48.000 Hello?

01:33:49.000 Hello?

01:33:50.000 Yes.

01:33:52.000 My first thing I want to say is, you know, I'm looking forward to the discussion you're going to have with Alex Jones in this new studio about 9-11.

01:34:01.000 And hypothetically, if you found out today or tomorrow that 9-11 was 100% an inside job, they blew up the towers, what would change in your mindset?

01:34:10.000 What would your reaction be to 9-11 being an inside job?

01:34:14.000 100%.

01:34:15.000 And also, I think I heard you say that you had your wife and some of your kids were vaccinated.

01:34:20.000 And I just want to say, Jesus Christ, they're going to be dead in a few years.

01:34:24.000 How do we let them do that?

01:34:26.000 Totally depopulation.

01:34:28.000 Thanks for calling.

01:34:29.000 Very Infowarsy indude.

01:34:32.000 As far as 9-11 goes, I'm already very upset with it.

01:34:36.000 And I think that the inside jobness that I'm willing to concede is that Bush was aware it was a threat.

01:34:44.000 Clinton had an opportunity to kill Bin Laden and said no.

01:34:48.000 So I am okay with Bush being aware of an imminent threat and not doing anything about it.

01:34:57.000 But it's more about incompetence than having a reason to attack the Middle East.

01:35:02.000 I think that if a government wants to attack the Middle East, they just do it.

01:35:06.000 Look at Afghanistan.

01:35:08.000 Did we need justification for that?

01:35:11.000 Most Americans don't even know if we're in Iraq and Afghanistan right now.

01:35:15.000 So they don't really need to come up with some lie to justify it.

01:35:19.000 I definitely don't think it was explosives in the Trade Center.

01:35:23.000 I know it was planes, blah, blah, blah.

01:35:24.000 I don't know.

01:35:25.000 You know, 9-11 is like Holocaust stuff with me.

01:35:29.000 I feel like.

01:35:30.000 Or the album Legend by Bob Marley.

01:35:33.000 I feel like I've covered it enough for one lifetime.

01:35:37.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

01:35:39.000 What's next?

01:35:40.000 We got Tony on the lane.

01:35:43.000 Tony?

01:35:50.000 Thanks for calling.

01:35:52.000 That was great.

01:35:52.000 I got an idea.

01:35:53.000 Hey, Maddie, I want to go up and get a drink.

01:35:58.000 Say someone's going to prison for three years tomorrow.

01:36:04.000 What would your advice to them be?

01:36:08.000 Three years?

01:36:08.000 Can you hear him okay, or is he on the wrong mic?

01:36:11.000 That's right.

01:36:11.000 So it's his lab?

01:36:13.000 Yeah.

01:36:14.000 You're hearing his lab?

01:36:16.000 Can you hear me?

01:36:16.000 Yeah.

01:36:17.000 Hello.

01:36:17.000 Hang up on that guy.

01:36:18.000 Yeah.

01:36:20.000 If I was going to prison, if you were going to go to prison for three years, it's a short timing.

01:36:26.000 You know, it's not that long of a sentence.

01:36:30.000 The best thing to do is to try to clear your mind of everything that exists outside of the fence or the wall, depending on what prison or facility you're in, because it really doesn't pertain to you anymore.

01:36:45.000 I mean, you have to live your day-to-day life as mundane as it is in there every day.

01:36:52.000 And you can't get mad at your family or your friends because they're not going to understand the situation that you're in.

01:37:01.000 Never hang up the phone in anger when you talk to your family or your friends because it will just chew you up and spit you out while you're inside.

01:37:13.000 You know, just try to make the best of it.

01:37:14.000 Do the time.

01:37:15.000 Don't let the time do you.

01:37:17.000 I mean, a lot of people stress out and they're stress balls and they get in a lot of trouble for it.

01:37:22.000 I mean, stay away from gambling.

01:37:25.000 Stay away from gangs.

01:37:26.000 Stay away from the homosexuals.

01:37:30.000 Don't have a drug habit.

01:37:32.000 If you steer clear of those four things, you're pretty much pretty safe.

01:37:37.000 I mean, I don't know if anybody who listens has been in a communal setting, in military, prisons, or large organizations.

01:37:48.000 You're going to find the people that you click with and that you're going to vibe with, and those are going to be your core friends who are going to have your back.

01:37:57.000 And as well as you have their back.

01:38:00.000 Because you have the same ideals, the same thought processes, maybe you have the same kind of charge, same amount of time.

01:38:07.000 You know that it's not forever.

01:38:09.000 Three years sounds like a lot, but it's really not.

01:38:12.000 It goes by faster than what you would really think.

01:38:18.000 Remember you told me about that guy who was obsessed with custody of his kids and where they were located.

01:38:24.000 Well, he had a rough bit.

01:38:26.000 He was a military prisoner.

01:38:27.000 This is when I was in federal prison.

01:38:29.000 He was a military prisoner.

01:38:30.000 He had a triple zero number.

01:38:31.000 That's how you design.

01:38:32.000 Oh, I thought they have their own prisons.

01:38:34.000 No, no.

01:38:35.000 If you're doing more than five years in the military, they kick you into the federal system.

01:38:39.000 And in the federal system, the last three numbers of your ID, like mine's 054, which means Southern District of New York.

01:38:46.000 Military prisons are triple zero.

01:38:48.000 That means that designates them as a military prisoner.

01:38:51.000 My old cellmate was doing life because he had murdered another soldier in Germany and he was doing life.

01:38:59.000 And he used to just tear himself up by trying to, I mean, it was great that he maintained a relationship with his children, but he tried to maintain a relationship with his ex-wife, which is like a lost cause because in federal prison,

01:39:15.000 life means life.

01:39:16.000 You're never going home.

01:39:18.000 So.

01:39:19.000 What are they going to do?

01:39:20.000 Exactly.

01:39:20.000 Celebrate.

01:39:21.000 So he would transfer all over the country.

01:39:23.000 Like when I was a cellmate, we were in FCI Allenwood at the time, in Pennsylvania.

01:39:29.000 White Deer, Pennsylvania.

01:39:31.000 And he had just transferred from like Terminal Island in California because his wife had moved to Wisconsin and he had asked for a near-home transfer.

01:39:41.000 And they sent him to Pennsylvania as close as he could get to Wisconsin.

01:39:46.000 And, you know, it's this.

01:39:48.000 It's a 16-hour drive.

01:39:49.000 He would just torture himself.

01:39:51.000 Like, you can't live outside the wall.

01:39:53.000 I mean, yeah, you can write, you know, talk on the phone, you know, have good communications.

01:39:59.000 Still has children.

01:40:01.000 You know, he wants to be a part of their life as much as he can.

01:40:04.000 But, you know, he wasn't getting visits.

01:40:06.000 And, you know, it was just too much for the ex-wife.

01:40:09.000 Did he ever figure it out and distance himself?

01:40:13.000 I don't know.

01:40:14.000 I mean, he's still there today.

01:40:17.000 Unfortunately.

01:40:18.000 And it was tough because when I had met him, he was 37 and he had 17 years in.

01:40:28.000 So he got locked up when he was, you know, he joined the army.

01:40:31.000 He had got a heroin addiction.

01:40:35.000 Oh, yeah, he killed a guy who made money for sale.

01:40:36.000 He had a money back for $28.

01:40:39.000 He had $8 in his pocket, and he took his ATM and his PIN number.

01:40:42.000 He had $20 in the bank and ticket out.

01:40:45.000 How'd he kill him?

01:40:46.000 Beat him to death.

01:40:48.000 Can you just beat him up?

01:40:50.000 I would have thought.

01:40:51.000 Hindsight's 2020 when you're in prison for listening.

01:40:54.000 The guy, my old cellmate, was having a rough time with his wife, and he knew that my old cellmate was bummed out, and he went to the barracks to his room.

01:41:06.000 He was like, hey, come on, I'll take you out to town and get a couple of beers.

01:41:11.000 And one thing led to another, and he ended up killing the guy.

01:41:17.000 Took a gold chain and $28.

01:41:20.000 Doing life.

01:41:22.000 What a waste.

01:41:23.000 I blame heroin.

01:41:25.000 Heroin will do that to you.

01:41:27.000 People watching are going to want to know why you were in prison.

01:41:30.000 Oh, I went to federal prison for what they call 922G1, which is felon in possession of a firearm.

01:41:37.000 I was already a convicted felon from the state of New York for another weapons charge, criminal possession of a weapon in third degree, a D-felony.

01:41:46.000 And I have given an undercover federal agent a handgun in the bathroom of a barn in Manassas, Virginia.

01:41:55.000 So that goes back to what we were talking about earlier.

01:41:57.000 Was there ever any time with that fed who you gave the gun to where you're like, why don't you have any tattoos?

01:42:03.000 Or why don't you do Coke?

01:42:05.000 I mean, at that point in time, I had met the guy prior.

01:42:11.000 We had what they called was a president meeting and the charter, the club I was in, had held that president's meeting.

01:42:19.000 And as a prospect charter, they were required to come up and do security and stuff like that as prospects.

01:42:26.000 So I had met him briefly there.

01:42:28.000 I mean, literally, maybe said hello.

01:42:31.000 That was it.

01:42:33.000 So was it someone else's fault for vetting him in a way?

01:42:37.000 Because when you meet a stranger like that, you assume someone else has done their due diligence.

01:42:42.000 Exactly.

01:42:43.000 And I had been coming, I'd been traveling from Raleigh, North Carolina, back up, and I was going to a party in Maryland, in North Beach, Maryland.

01:42:55.000 And we had stopped in to sit in on their weekly meeting, which is called Church.

01:43:02.000 And we missed it.

01:43:05.000 We got sidetracked and lost.

01:43:09.000 And we finally met them at a place called Fast Eddie's bar in Manassas.

01:43:14.000 And we went in, had a couple cocktails, you know, getting ready to leave to go to North Beach, Maryland for the party the next day.

01:43:22.000 And we seen all the goons squad, like all the black suburbans in the parking lot, you know, doing surveillance.

01:43:27.000 So I told the people I was with, listen, I'm carrying this gun.

01:43:31.000 You know, what do you want me to do?

01:43:32.000 You know, we're going to get pulled over when we leave here.

01:43:36.000 So my buddy called over a guy.

01:43:39.000 He said, hey, come over here.

01:43:40.000 He said, take a walk with him.

01:43:43.000 Maybe that buddy was also a fed.

01:43:45.000 No, no, no, no.

01:43:46.000 How much was the gun worth?

01:43:48.000 Oh, probably a couple hundred bucks.

01:43:50.000 I mean, it was pretty funny that the guy who called the guy over and told the prospect, a guy named his name was Poet.

01:44:02.000 His nickname was Poet.

01:44:04.000 His Real name was Ken Larson.

01:44:06.000 And my buddy came and testified at my trial.

01:44:13.000 And they arrested him for perjury.

01:44:14.000 He never made it out of the courtroom.

01:44:16.000 No way.

01:44:17.000 Yeah.

01:44:18.000 He had ever been in trouble before.

01:44:21.000 And because I guess it was a perjury charge, he didn't do any federal time.

01:44:25.000 He had federal supervised release for like three or four years.

01:44:30.000 So, and by the way, folks watching, you can watch the whole story on Censored.t.

01:44:35.000 No, sorry, on Free Speech, where we sat down with Maddie Odell for a long time about this.

01:44:39.000 But what would you say to the folks watching if they would like to pursue a life of crime?

01:44:43.000 Is it a good investment?

01:44:47.000 Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

01:44:49.000 I know it's kind of cliche, but in this day and age with all the modern technology, it's not...

01:44:56.000 I mean, I have a criminal history.

01:44:57.000 It goes back to 1988.

01:44:59.000 That's what my adult criminal history starts.

01:45:02.000 So back then it was a little easier, a little more play, attitudes were different.

01:45:10.000 But if you don't want to do time, you don't want to be in prison, don't do crime.

01:45:17.000 I mean, some people I know say crime face.

01:45:20.000 I mean, it's sort of like everything, right?

01:45:22.000 It pays for the top 5%.

01:45:25.000 Yeah.

01:45:25.000 Like the NBA, like music.

01:45:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:28.000 The top 5%, we got people out there dealing drugs.

01:45:32.000 They're making no money.

01:45:33.000 Then there's the top 5% making 80% of the 100%.

01:45:38.000 I know people that have been doing crime for 20 plus 30 years, you know, and they've never been caught.

01:45:44.000 They're good.

01:45:46.000 I read somewhere that the average salary for a criminal is like $60,000 a year.

01:45:52.000 But what they're probably doing is the kingpins are getting medianed out by the little kids starting their way up selling like dime bags.

01:46:01.000 Well, Rico in conspiracy laws changed all that because they say it takes a nickel bag to catch a kingpin.

01:46:08.000 Ah, so Giuliani ended crime.

01:46:11.000 Well, he put a dent in it.

01:46:14.000 I'll tell you that one.

01:46:15.000 Not only did he clean up Times Square, he did put a dent in it.

01:46:18.000 He cleaned up America.

01:46:21.000 That hurts me for my criminal friends, but I also am happy for cleaning up crime.

01:46:26.000 That's the strange dichotomy of being a not left is you kind of like the cowboy element of the crime, but you also like Juliani cleaning up New York City.

01:46:36.000 I mean, look at it today.

01:46:38.000 Fuck.

01:46:38.000 Well, look what Como did.

01:46:40.000 He just enacted the first national state emergency for firearm crimes.

01:46:45.000 Yes, because he acted.

01:46:48.000 We have, you can pull this up.

01:46:49.000 Go to 2-1.

01:46:51.000 He said, we did such a great job with the pandemic.

01:46:55.000 What?

01:46:56.000 He's talking about himself.

01:46:57.000 Yeah.

01:46:58.000 That I could take this brilliant formula I used and extend it to gun control.

01:47:04.000 What are you saying?

01:47:05.000 Take gun criminals and put them in old folks' homes so 5,000 old people die?

01:47:11.000 I don't understand.

01:47:13.000 How many people believe this when he says I did such a great job?

01:47:18.000 We went from one epidemic to another epidemic.

01:47:22.000 We went from COVID of gun violence.

01:47:26.000 Step one, treat it like a public health issue.

01:47:31.000 We know how to deal with an epidemic.

01:47:34.000 What we want to say is we want to do with gun violence what we just did with COVID.

01:47:39.000 Step two, get smart.

01:47:42.000 Use science like we did on COVID.

01:47:44.000 How did we attack COVID?

01:47:46.000 We mapped it and we found out where it was and we found the clusters and then we attacked the clusters.

01:47:54.000 You can do the same thing with gun violence.

01:47:57.000 Step four, break the cycle of escalating violence.

01:48:02.000 Like COVID, gun violence spreads like a virus.

01:48:07.000 And I want them to respond to the emergency for the way it is.

01:48:12.000 So today, the first state in the nation is going to declare a disaster emergency on gun violence.

01:48:19.000 Yes!

01:48:20.000 I like how he has his sunburn from sitting on the beach.

01:48:24.000 You know what the bad thing is, is what he's saying here.

01:48:27.000 He goes, we have to map it like we mapped COVID and find the clusters.

01:48:33.000 And unfortunately, as we all know, low-income, poverty-stricken areas are where the clusters are going to be.

01:48:46.000 Yeah, Eastern Europe.

01:48:46.000 And when we used to have stop and frisk, we used to have, you know, no bail reform.

01:48:56.000 You're going to start picking on that community again, and it's going to be an uproaring that it's you're picking on the ghetto.

01:49:06.000 You're picking on black children.

01:49:08.000 Well, that's exactly what I thought with the whole you have to get on the database thing, where they said you can't have fake vaccine cards because you're going to have to have it on your phone, your iPhone, your $1,000 iPhone has to be registered,

01:49:23.000 and you have to get on the internet and do all that shit.

01:49:25.000 They say blacks can't have ID.

01:49:27.000 That's too hard.

01:49:28.000 But they can get $1,000 iPhones and log in and have all this shit.

01:49:32.000 So I knew that eventually they were going to kill it because it would be like old Dominican dudes who have flip phones, can't get on, and it would become a racist law.

01:49:42.000 So it's ironic that he's saying, let's make it like COVID by isolating the problem.

01:49:47.000 And he's describing isolating gun violence as a black thing.

01:49:51.000 Right.

01:49:51.000 You're going to put more police in those communities.

01:49:55.000 The cluster's called East New York and Harlem.

01:49:59.000 Washington Heights.

01:50:00.000 Staten Island.

01:50:01.000 You know, the South Bronx.

01:50:02.000 South Bronx.

01:50:04.000 We're in the cluster right now.

01:50:06.000 And, you know, unfortunately, those are the facts.

01:50:10.000 Those are the facts.

01:50:11.000 You can't get around them.

01:50:14.000 Yeah, they get around it all the fucking time.

01:50:18.000 Let's take another call.

01:50:20.000 That was a good little break.

01:50:24.000 Let's see.

01:50:25.000 It just says, you know.

01:50:26.000 I'm just staring at my blisters.

01:50:28.000 253.

01:50:29.000 Please don't be about 9-11 or juice.

01:50:34.000 Hello?

01:50:35.000 Hello?

01:50:37.000 Hey.

01:50:40.000 Did you see that Moore's Moore's guys?

01:50:43.000 Did you report on this?

01:50:45.000 Yes.

01:50:47.000 Oh, I didn't see it.

01:50:49.000 I watched all your shit, but we reported on it on this show, sir.

01:50:55.000 Thanks for calling.

01:50:56.000 I didn't.

01:50:57.000 Oh.

01:50:58.000 Thanks for justifying a call.

01:51:03.000 Next call, you should get that guy, Matty O'Dell, on the show.

01:51:06.000 The guy you did a free speech with a while ago.

01:51:11.000 And put on a suit, for fuck's sakes.

01:51:14.000 Yeah, and do something with that right hand.

01:51:16.000 It's boring.

01:51:17.000 Next time a Roman candle's coming at you, fucking grab it, dude.

01:51:22.000 Get some of those.

01:51:23.000 And hey, Ryan, get a haircut.

01:51:25.000 Yeah, okay, all right.

01:51:27.000 And Ryan, you can't see.

01:51:29.000 Yeah, dress like Riffraff.

01:51:32.000 Hey.

01:51:34.000 Time Warper.

01:51:35.000 That guy's Instagram is pretty funny.

01:51:36.000 He's a cool guy.

01:51:37.000 I can't tell how much he's kidding, but I don't care anymore.

01:51:40.000 I live in Clown World.

01:51:41.000 I've given up on determining what's a joke and what's not.

01:51:44.000 Now I'm just like, what's amusing?

01:51:46.000 And you know what I've noticed with my daughter and her friends?

01:51:48.000 I don't think they do irony.

01:51:50.000 Did I mention this already on the show?

01:51:52.000 Like when we would buy shirts from second-hand clothing stores and it said like Catholic Jesus Camp and it had Jesus on a cross and people would go, oh, you're not religious.

01:52:01.000 Are you making fun of it?

01:52:02.000 And you're like, I don't know.

01:52:04.000 I just think it's a cool design.

01:52:07.000 And my daughter will listen to super cool hipster stuff that's like the latest edgy music.

01:52:13.000 And then she'll also listen to Insane Clown Posse.

01:52:15.000 And I go, oh, are you making fun of them?

01:52:17.000 And she goes, no.

01:52:18.000 And I realize they don't do that anymore.

01:52:21.000 I don't think they have cool and not cool in a way.

01:52:24.000 Or maybe it's become cool to not have cool rules.

01:52:29.000 I don't fucking know.

01:52:30.000 727, you want a line?

01:52:34.000 Otto?

01:52:37.000 What's up, dude?

01:52:39.000 Don't fuck around, Gabin.

01:52:42.000 Don't fuck around, Kebine.

01:52:44.000 Oh, you get abused, scene?

01:52:46.000 I gotta tell you, that's one of my favorite fucking stories you ever tell.

01:52:49.000 You know, I've been telling that story for ever since it happened.

01:52:52.000 It happened in like 2001.

01:52:59.000 And I didn't find it that crazy.

01:53:00.000 You would not believe how many people call me Kebine and request that story.

01:53:04.000 It's a fucking hit.

01:53:06.000 I don't know why.

01:53:07.000 It's a good one.

01:53:09.000 Crazy little Rastafarian fucking Caribbean Tico.

01:53:12.000 That's right.

01:53:16.000 So I watched the whole thing, and Sam Peder claims that you had him lined up to debate, you know, that you had Crowder and Sam Peder lined up to debate, and that Crowder pussyed out.

01:53:29.000 I have a hard time believing that.

01:53:30.000 True, but do you have a recall that?

01:53:33.000 Yeah, here's the truth.

01:53:34.000 Here's what happened.

01:53:35.000 So I hired a team to call all these people.

01:53:39.000 My concept was liberals and conservatives fighting.

01:53:43.000 Or not fighting, but yeah, fighting.

01:53:45.000 Like Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley.

01:53:47.000 I don't want to do that.

01:53:48.000 I don't want to call them up and beg them.

01:53:50.000 So I gave them a budget, which they fucking tore through like a Tasmanian devil.

01:53:56.000 And I said, go find them.

01:53:59.000 So they contacted Sam Seder.

01:54:03.000 And Sam Seder said, I'll do it if I can debate Crowder.

01:54:10.000 Now, Crowder has been stalked by Sam Seder for a million years.

01:54:16.000 He really wants to debate Crowder.

01:54:18.000 Crowder debates people for a living.

01:54:20.000 Change my mind, that's all he does.

01:54:22.000 He's fought with Rogan about marijuana, Ruben.

01:54:26.000 He's got a long laundry list.

01:54:28.000 He used to do it on Fox News all the time.

01:54:30.000 On Fox News, right.

01:54:31.000 So what I think is going on here is Crowder sees Cedar as like this sad Bassett hound that keeps following him everywhere, and he doesn't want to concede and be like, okay, Bassett Hound, I'll play with you too.

01:54:46.000 So that's like me saying, I've been, you know, I've given Eva Mendez a million opportunities to fuck me, and she keeps chickening out because she knows that I'll blow her mind.

01:54:59.000 Crowder just sees Cedar as below him, and I think he's right.

01:55:03.000 Yeah, no, he never agreed.

01:55:06.000 That makes sense.

01:55:06.000 Oh, no, I promise you.

01:55:08.000 I swear in a stack of Bibles, Crowder never, no, Crowder was kind of mad at me because he goes, what, now you got that fucking Bassethound back up in my grill?

01:55:18.000 And I was like, I didn't even know this went on.

01:55:20.000 I farmed this out.

01:55:22.000 And I don't think the people, the people I got, there was like this black agency.

01:55:26.000 And I don't think they even knew who any of these people were.

01:55:30.000 They got me Cornell West and all the black dudes.

01:55:33.000 And so when Sam Cedar said, I'll do it, but I need Steven Crowder, they're like, okay, let's look up Steven Crowder, whoever the fuck that is.

01:55:41.000 No, Steven Crowder would never agree to anything and then pussy out.

01:55:48.000 Yeah.

01:55:49.000 Well, thank you very much.

01:55:49.000 I appreciate it.

01:55:50.000 Cheers.

01:55:54.000 We can do a couple more.

01:55:56.000 We got Steve.

01:55:59.000 Gentlemen, how are you?

01:56:01.000 Good.

01:56:01.000 How are you?

01:56:03.000 Good, good.

01:56:04.000 So here's the situation.

01:56:06.000 I'm expecting my first child in August.

01:56:09.000 I live in an area pretty nice.

01:56:12.000 Actually, I live pretty close to you, Gavin.

01:56:15.000 She's a doctor.

01:56:16.000 I'm a truck driver.

01:56:17.000 So unless my project pulls through, I'm not going to make as much money as she does.

01:56:22.000 I know where this is going.

01:56:24.000 This is tough.

01:56:26.000 Am I a sad because it looked like I'm going to have to raise our daughter?

01:56:30.000 Or am I being a man by making a decision to provide my family with the highest standard of living that I possibly can, your opinion?

01:56:40.000 So what does a trucker make if he's kicking ass and taking names?

01:56:44.000 Not you, but someone who's been doing it for like five to ten years.

01:56:50.000 Maddie would know.

01:56:52.000 Are you union?

01:56:55.000 Yeah.

01:56:56.000 I mean, I would say 282 or 456.

01:57:01.000 I can't really hear him.

01:57:03.000 Are you saying 282 grand?

01:57:04.000 No, no, no. 282 or 456.

01:57:08.000 No, he's asking you what union.

01:57:11.000 What's going on with his audio?

01:57:12.000 Oh, I don't fucking know.

01:57:14.000 I just started off.

01:57:15.000 I'm making like $14 an hour, but with tips, you can kind of double it, and hours are kind of sketchy.

01:57:21.000 That's not a trucker, dude.

01:57:23.000 You're not driving an 18-wheeler.

01:57:26.000 Oh, sorry.

01:57:27.000 I should specify.

01:57:27.000 It is not a giant 18-wheeler, but it is one of those big 35, 36-foot rider, 11-foot-high trucks.

01:57:36.000 And what are you transporting?

01:57:39.000 Grocery delivery, essentially.

01:57:40.000 Okay.

01:57:41.000 To grocery stores.

01:57:44.000 No, from grocery stores to people.

01:57:46.000 Like fresh direct.

01:57:47.000 Like people.

01:57:48.000 Exactly, yeah, like a fresh direct.

01:57:50.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, I got you.

01:57:52.000 That's minimum wage?

01:57:56.000 And it's $14 an hour plus tips.

01:57:58.000 But that's a hard license to get.

01:58:02.000 No, you don't need CDL here.

01:58:04.000 Oh, he's under £26,000.

01:58:07.000 Huh.

01:58:09.000 This is a tough one.

01:58:10.000 I don't know what the fuck she's doing with you.

01:58:12.000 October.

01:58:15.000 I'm just that charming, I guess.

01:58:16.000 So what's her annual salary looking like?

01:58:19.000 Actually, hold on.

01:58:21.000 You always said for women to find guys who had a thing, and I have things going on.

01:58:26.000 Oh.

01:58:26.000 Yeah, I did.

01:58:27.000 I did say that.

01:58:28.000 But what I wanted was for her to not be a doctor and for you to start out trucking with Fresh Direct and then move up to 18 Wheelers and then move up to your own fleet.

01:58:42.000 This is correct.

01:58:43.000 Unfortunately, she's already done the doctor thing.

01:58:46.000 I mean, I met her when she was in college, and we went through the whole thing together, which was horrible.

01:58:52.000 But yeah, I mean, she made it out, and that's what she always wanted to do, and I always supported her through it.

01:58:57.000 And it's kind of shitty because at the end, she always did want to be with the kid at the end of the day.

01:59:03.000 She wanted to be like a housewife, but she just was like, oh, but who knows if that's going to happen.

01:59:07.000 So here I am doing this.

01:59:09.000 We all agree at that.

01:59:11.000 You know, Kennedy over at Fox Business News, she felt the same way, but she's so talented that her contract was like, I don't know what it was.

01:59:20.000 Let's guess it was like $400,000 a year when she started.

01:59:24.000 So it was, and her boyfriend, I think they might be divorced now, actually, which is foreboding.

01:59:30.000 But I think her husband at the time was like a snowboarder pothead dude.

01:59:34.000 Hey, man, I love the kids.

01:59:37.000 So back then, it would be dumb for her to say no to $400,000 a year.

01:59:43.000 And it's an incredible talent she has.

01:59:45.000 Like, she reads the teleprompter, and it sounds like I'm talking now.

01:59:49.000 It sounds so fucking natural.

01:59:51.000 And she writes all her stuff.

01:59:52.000 She's a genius.

01:59:53.000 So it'd be dumb for her to ignore that genius.

01:59:57.000 Though her marriage, I think, did fall apart.

01:59:59.000 And he wasn't doing anything.

02:00:02.000 I don't know, Maddie.

02:00:03.000 We may have to go to the studio audience for this.

02:00:05.000 This is a tough one.

02:00:06.000 No, no.

02:00:07.000 Don't go to Ryan.

02:00:09.000 No one's asking Ryan.

02:00:13.000 How does his wife feel about his job?

02:00:17.000 Do you hear that?

02:00:18.000 How does my wife feel about the job?

02:00:19.000 Yeah.

02:00:21.000 I mean, yeah, she doesn't, I mean, hate that I'm working.

02:00:24.000 She likes that I'm working.

02:00:25.000 But at the end of the day, let me put it this way.

02:00:27.000 Even if I pulled doubles every single day, I wouldn't make half of what she makes.

02:00:33.000 No matter what I do.

02:00:34.000 Like I said, the only way I think I can pull through is that I have to break through and my project would have to pull through.

02:00:40.000 My thing would have to really start making me real money.

02:00:46.000 I know you're dying to ask me what my thing is.

02:00:49.000 Is it a public thing?

02:00:52.000 Oh, yeah.

02:00:52.000 I mean, I wrote a book on the Second Amendment going through the actual historical record that's on Amazon.

02:01:00.000 Oh, it's all along.

02:01:01.000 It's a commercial for your book.

02:01:03.000 He's been avoiding saying that.

02:01:04.000 No, no.

02:01:05.000 Don't even follow it up.

02:01:06.000 I'm not going to tell you the title.

02:01:07.000 You don't want to know it.

02:01:08.000 No, I want to know the title.

02:01:09.000 I'm just kidding.

02:01:10.000 Is this John Lott?

02:01:11.000 It's called The Second Amendment, Rediscovering the Inalienable Right to Firearm Ownership and Self-Defense.

02:01:17.000 You can find it on Amazon in paperback and e-book.

02:01:21.000 So I think we may have solved it.

02:01:22.000 Yeah, the delivering fresh direct's not going to happen.

02:01:26.000 Not if she's going to be making $300,000.

02:01:30.000 But am I a SAD in that case?

02:01:32.000 Or am I doing what's best for my family?

02:01:34.000 Because clearly she's going to buy a higher standard of listening.

02:01:38.000 I think you are a SAD, but you've figured out a way around it, and we don't have a choice.

02:01:45.000 Like I have no chin, you know, I have the shoulders of Elmo.

02:01:50.000 There's a lot of things we all have to accept that are not cool.

02:01:54.000 And it's not cool to be a stay-at-home dad.

02:01:56.000 But the way to save it for you is to keep writing these intellectual books.

02:02:01.000 And then your wife can say, my husband's a writer.

02:02:07.000 That sounds pretty good.

02:02:08.000 You have no idea how hard I'm pushing this thing.

02:02:10.000 I was on a podcast.

02:02:11.000 I've just been pushing this like crazy.

02:02:13.000 You don't understand.

02:02:13.000 I mean, well, you do understand.

02:02:14.000 And you understand this world.

02:02:16.000 I was on a podcast called 2A All Day and kind of to talk about the book.

02:02:22.000 And he's a great guy, Ross Carter.

02:02:24.000 He's a cool dude.

02:02:26.000 And it's, you know, this space, this kind of like media personality, kind of getting into this space, like, it's a tough world, man.

02:02:32.000 I give you a lot of credit for, you know, breaking through and doing, especially what you do being so controversial, even though you're really not controversial.

02:02:39.000 You're just regular dad politics.

02:02:41.000 Yeah, I'm doing great with it, with media.

02:02:43.000 You might want to check out the new issue of Rolling Stone or the new issue of Vanity Fair.

02:02:48.000 It's been going really well.

02:02:50.000 They're thrilled.

02:02:51.000 Touched.

02:02:52.000 I have a question about this because this was kind of similar.

02:02:55.000 But if you go to work, right, and then she's there at home.

02:03:00.000 Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?

02:03:02.000 Oh, that's tiny.

02:03:04.000 Wow, what a large setup for a tiny, tiny junkie.

02:03:08.000 Anyway, thanks for calling, buddy.

02:03:09.000 That was a real.

02:03:10.000 Thank you.

02:03:11.000 That was a real brain teaser, but I think we got it.

02:03:13.000 If you have to be a stay-at-home dad, which is bad and sad, S-A-H-D, you can counter it by doing something like writing books.

02:03:24.000 You could also, like, make knives.

02:03:27.000 Any sort of like male hobby Could save the day.

02:03:31.000 And then your incredibly successful wife could be like, oh, he's always making axes.

02:03:37.000 I wish he would do something more serious.

02:03:39.000 And then at least the parents don't see like this.

02:03:42.000 Like, I met this couple.

02:03:43.000 The woman was like a brain surgeon.

02:03:44.000 The dad, and I'm sorry, but the fact that he was Asian made it worse.

02:03:48.000 And he was a stay-at-home dad, and he didn't have anything else going on.

02:03:51.000 So he was like taking them to daycare.

02:03:54.000 And not daycare, sorry.

02:03:55.000 He was taking them to the park and driving them around and playing with their dollies.

02:03:58.000 And it's like, that's embarrassing.

02:04:01.000 Am I right, Maddie?

02:04:04.000 Why's the children's country?

02:04:06.000 And for good reason.

02:04:08.000 Yeah.

02:04:09.000 It's not natural.

02:04:11.000 The men are usually the breadwinners.

02:04:13.000 Yeah, and when you're a dad of little kids, you take them to the park and they play around.

02:04:18.000 They're like, Daddy, Daddy, chase me.

02:04:20.000 And you chase them for a while.

02:04:21.000 And they're like, all right, I'm done fucking chasing you.

02:04:24.000 Go play with other kids.

02:04:25.000 I'm not four.

02:04:26.000 I can't do this.

02:04:28.000 But like my wife, she can play Kid Monopoly, Uno.

02:04:32.000 Like she can play with kids all fucking day.

02:04:36.000 Once I'm done playing, there's this, my youngest boy, obviously I adore him and I love playing this game with him.

02:04:42.000 It's like Mario Monopoly.

02:04:44.000 It's like Nintendo Monopoly.

02:04:46.000 It's for kids.

02:04:47.000 And it's the same concept of like buying land and then charging people, but it's a very simplified version.

02:04:53.000 After I'm done with that, I deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.

02:04:56.000 I'm like, all right, I'm going to the bar to do heroin for three days.

02:04:59.000 I played that fucking stupid game.

02:05:01.000 Like, I like playing it, but it's exhausting as a dad.

02:05:05.000 As a woman, they're like, where's round two?

02:05:07.000 I want to cream you next time.

02:05:11.000 Just the way we're designed.

02:05:12.000 So if you're stuck in that situation, which I think this guy is, Fresh Direct is clearly going nowhere, then you got to counteract it with something masculine.

02:05:20.000 Shit.

02:05:22.000 I saw this guy online today who was collecting Hell's Angel stuff and other outlaw motorcycle gangs, and he had bought these fucking Zippos.

02:05:36.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

02:05:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:05:40.000 They should be in not the Smithsonian.

02:05:43.000 They should be in the Met.

02:05:46.000 This guy spends 400 hours making these Zippos.

02:05:49.000 There it is.

02:05:51.000 It's a crack pipe.

02:05:52.000 It's got a roach clip.

02:05:56.000 And I think it's a functioning Zippo, too.

02:05:58.000 Yeah.

02:05:59.000 Everything comes out from the bottom in all sorts.

02:06:01.000 It's one of the most fantastic pieces of machinery I've ever seen.

02:06:04.000 It's got a lot of hand carved artery and stuff on it, I believe.

02:06:07.000 Yeah.

02:06:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:06:09.000 So if you're going to be a stay-at-home dad, at least make some fucking Zippo crackpipes.

02:06:15.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 08, 2021

GOML LIVE #106

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