Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #109

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:41.000 Who's that again?

00:00:42.000 Japanese Panther?

00:00:43.000 Tijuana Panthers.

00:00:45.000 Tijuana Panthers from Long Beach, California.

00:00:50.000 Reader submission.

00:00:53.000 Happy to get them.

00:00:54.000 I would say two-thirds of our reader submissions for music are awesome bands I never heard of that.

00:01:01.000 I'm happy to hear.

00:01:02.000 We have Maddie Odell co-hosting by the bar.

00:01:05.000 Everybody, hello?

00:01:06.000 Just like Watch What Happens Live.

00:01:08.000 Andy Cohen has a sexy hunk behind the bar when he does Watch What Happens Live.

00:01:14.000 We're the same way.

00:01:16.000 We know people want eye candy.

00:01:18.000 We're not stupid.

00:01:20.000 We know sex sells.

00:01:22.000 So we have a gorgeous sexy hunk.

00:01:26.000 I mean, I do joke, but I bet a lot of women want to fuck you.

00:01:29.000 I've had my fair share.

00:01:31.000 Well, you're a bad boy.

00:01:33.000 You're a rough boy.

00:01:34.000 I'm a rough boy.

00:01:36.000 I want to get bit and kissed.

00:01:40.000 Like, I can't tell you how many beautiful women, including Kat, that chick who was a drug addict, Kat Marnell, asked me about Artie Lang.

00:01:55.000 They're like, is Artie Lang single?

00:01:56.000 What's going on with him?

00:01:58.000 I go, he's a fat, drunken fucking drug addict derelict.

00:02:02.000 And they're like, yeah, exactly.

00:02:04.000 Did you see what he did to his face with his nose?

00:02:06.000 Oh, we were talking about that the other day.

00:02:08.000 Holy cow.

00:02:09.000 He's punishing himself with his nose, where he's saying, I'm not going to give me a new nose until I know that I can trust me.

00:02:17.000 Like, if your kid crashes a car, you don't buy him a new car.

00:02:21.000 So his kid is him, and the car is his fucking nose.

00:02:25.000 And he's saying, I'm not getting you a nose until I know you're not going to sniff it away.

00:02:32.000 Demons.

00:02:33.000 The monkeys.

00:02:34.000 On the back.

00:02:35.000 The monkeys.

00:02:36.000 On the back.

00:02:37.000 Before we get started with today's show, I'd like to thank Tactical Walls.

00:02:41.000 They're going to be in here any second now.

00:02:44.000 By the way, August is going to be a crazy month.

00:02:47.000 I'm going to be gone.

00:02:47.000 I'm renting an RV.

00:02:49.000 I'm going to go check out Tennessee and North Carolina and South Carolina.

00:02:52.000 Please email me places to visit.

00:02:54.000 I'm going to go to Dollywood, of course.

00:02:57.000 And I'd love to meet up with some of you.

00:03:00.000 Just don't be Antifa in disguise or I'll slit your throat.

00:03:07.000 But Modwall is going to come into the studio and build us a bunch of Modwalls.

00:03:11.000 Nice.

00:03:12.000 For everything from...

00:03:13.000 Unfortunately, we live in a shithole country called New York where we can't have any of these beautiful guns.

00:03:19.000 What are these, Maddie?

00:03:20.000 That one you're pointing to is a SCAR-17.

00:03:23.000 A SCAR-17?

00:03:24.000 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 It could be either heavy or light.

00:03:27.000 There's a SCAR-17 heavy and a SCAR-17 light.

00:03:31.000 Just different rounds.

00:03:32.000 And what are they, like one trigger?

00:03:34.000 No, no, they can be full auto, but they're no, it's high-power weapon.

00:03:38.000 They can be full auto.

00:03:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:40.000 Can they take a .30-odd 6?

00:03:43.000 The heavy is a 30-caliber round, which is the same as a 30-odd 6.

00:03:47.000 And the light can take .22s?

00:03:49.000 I believe it's maybe a 5.56, like a 223.

00:03:52.000 Here's a retarded question.

00:03:54.000 Is there a gun that you can put any bullet you want into?

00:03:57.000 A giant 30-odd 6 or a .22?

00:04:01.000 Some guns will shoot different rounds, similar rounds.

00:04:05.000 Like a 410 can shoot, I believe, a 44.

00:04:10.000 Like, you could use them interchangeable in, like, these revolvers they make.

00:04:15.000 But you'd have to change the whole barrel because of the way the bullet from the projectile looks down.

00:04:21.000 The barrel is going to change everything.

00:04:22.000 Right.

00:04:23.000 The 22 is going to be bouncing around in a...

00:04:25.000 Right, it really wouldn't go anywhere because it needs, when the round goes into the chamber, into the barrel, you know, it's very snug.

00:04:34.000 I mean, it's not a thing.

00:04:35.000 That's the whole point.

00:04:36.000 In order for the bullet to go forward, it needs, after the primer gets hit in the explosion, the projectile shoots out.

00:04:44.000 Like if your house went on fire, you had a box of bullets in there.

00:04:48.000 Like, yeah, the bullets would explode, but they're not going to go shooting into you, like, to kill you.

00:04:54.000 Because when the powder inside the shell explodes, there's nothing to make the projectile go straight.

00:05:02.000 Right.

00:05:02.000 It just pops off and then, you know, it drops.

00:05:04.000 It's a little mini bomb.

00:05:05.000 Yeah, it wouldn't really hurt you.

00:05:07.000 By the way, when you're watching this, people south of the Mason-Dixon line and everywhere cool in the world, and you see me being a retard about guns, you should get mad at society.

00:05:17.000 You should get mad at New York.

00:05:19.000 Not me.

00:05:21.000 I'm a product of my environment.

00:05:22.000 Get mad at my environment.

00:05:24.000 It's sort of like with black dudes where they're like, some Asian lady grabbed her purse.

00:05:28.000 Get mad at the black dudes who robbed purses.

00:05:30.000 Get mad at the fact that I will never touch one of these.

00:05:34.000 That's fucked up.

00:05:36.000 I'm a victim.

00:05:37.000 Anyway, this shoots any caliber.

00:05:39.000 You can change...

00:05:41.000 38, 350.

00:05:42.000 Yeah, you'd have to change the cylinder.

00:05:47.000 Don't you have to change the cylinder?

00:05:50.000 As Maddie just said?

00:05:51.000 It looks like...

00:05:52.000 You know what?

00:05:52.000 There's this other rifle that does exactly that.

00:05:55.000 You take out the barrel and you switch it out.

00:05:58.000 Right.

00:05:58.000 And it's kind of a goofy.

00:06:00.000 At that point, it's...

00:06:00.000 Why not just grab a different gun?

00:06:03.000 It's like end-of-the-world type shit where you're scrounging for ammo, you know?

00:06:07.000 Oh, so maybe that barrel has different settings.

00:06:11.000 And when you click it, the barrel changes.

00:06:14.000 Looks like it, yeah.

00:06:14.000 It gets tighter or it sets itself.

00:06:16.000 No, that doesn't make sense because the wide barrel would have small barrels in the way.

00:06:20.000 Anyway, this is all part of a tacticalwalls.com ad.

00:06:24.000 Use Gavin for 20% off all orders.

00:06:27.000 That is tacticalwalls.com.

00:06:30.000 Promo code Gavin15, they both work.

00:06:32.000 Gavin, Gavin15 is 20% off.

00:06:35.000 They have a huge variety, by the way, of promo codes in case you mistype.

00:06:39.000 Lowercase, uppercase, that's fine.

00:06:41.000 And the mod wall is just the tip of the iceberg with these guys.

00:06:45.000 We've got the issue box.

00:06:47.000 We've got fucking shit for baseball.

00:06:51.000 Stuff for hide your guns in mirrors.

00:06:56.000 You know, I sold a house a long time ago, and the new owners knew who I was, and they were very nervous about it.

00:07:02.000 And they go, are there any weapons lying around?

00:07:07.000 Because we have young children, they might come across them.

00:07:10.000 I don't know.

00:07:11.000 I mean, I have so many, like, mirrors and shelves and things where if you double push them, they open up into a huge arsenal that your child might discover.

00:07:19.000 I've forgotten them all.

00:07:21.000 I like the one where...

00:07:22.000 You have so many, you forgot where they all are.

00:07:23.000 I forgot where they are.

00:07:24.000 And that's one thing about gun owners.

00:07:26.000 They always forget where their guns are.

00:07:29.000 It's a problem.

00:07:30.000 It's a major problem.

00:07:31.000 Like my blur.

00:07:33.000 Like your blur.

00:07:34.000 That one, you know, that's in your stairs.

00:07:36.000 So when you're walking up the stairs and they're like, bring us to your stuff.

00:07:39.000 And you're bringing them upstairs and then you kick the stair and then it launches the shotgun.

00:07:42.000 Wait, is that a real thing?

00:07:43.000 Because that sounds like a cool one.

00:07:44.000 I'm making it up.

00:07:46.000 Well, I'm sure Tactical Walls is watching that.

00:07:48.000 They can literally make it up.

00:07:49.000 And they would do that.

00:07:50.000 You just give it a tap.

00:07:51.000 You kick the one stair like two times and then it launches a shotgun into your hands.

00:07:56.000 I like that you're blurry.

00:07:57.000 It shows how retarded you are.

00:07:58.000 Thank you.

00:07:59.000 Wait.

00:08:02.000 TacticalWalls.com.

00:08:04.000 So as you know, the way this show works is everything is free for half an hour.

00:08:09.000 We put this on the podcast world.

00:08:12.000 Everyone can see what we're up to.

00:08:14.000 And then we go behind the paywall and we take calls.

00:08:20.000 Maddie's here.

00:08:22.000 We've got a lot of sponsors.

00:08:24.000 There's a lot of stuff to handle.

00:08:25.000 So the idea of also getting into the news and talking about Proud Boys at the Wii Spa and the inauguration, too much to cover.

00:08:37.000 So we've decided on Thursdays now to just stick to mail.

00:08:40.000 Mail for the first hour, calls for the second hour.

00:08:43.000 But I was telling Maddie at our local, there's a new guy, there's a new kid in town.

00:08:49.000 And I've got some good vibes about him.

00:08:51.000 I've yet to meet him, but I'm interested.

00:08:53.000 Funny and smart.

00:08:55.000 A hermit.

00:08:56.000 So he didn't know our pub existed for many years.

00:09:00.000 He hates my town.

00:09:03.000 The neighbor's complaining about his tree because it's partly on her property and she's worried the branches are going to fall and hit her garage.

00:09:12.000 Perfect example of where I live.

00:09:16.000 And being MAGA in 2021 in New York State, I shouldn't say New York State, but like New York and the surrounding suburbs, you're great upstate, is like being gay in the 50s.

00:09:30.000 And you, I would assume the way it was in the 50s is you'd say like, silk feels really good.

00:09:36.000 It's a very nice fabric.

00:09:39.000 And then the other guy has like silk panties on and then you guys.

00:09:44.000 So with him, I was like, I was talking about the owner of the bar, they did new cement in front of his bar and he wanted to write his name in it or write the name of the bar.

00:09:55.000 And I go, that's vandalism.

00:09:57.000 And the guys for the January 6th meandering are getting arrested.

00:10:00.000 No, not arrested.

00:10:01.000 They're getting charged now.

00:10:02.000 But it's not insurrection, which is a capital offense.

00:10:06.000 And you have to be murdered.

00:10:08.000 Unless you're John Walker Lind.

00:10:09.000 Level 42.

00:10:10.000 And they don't fucking murder you because you're a Muslim.

00:10:13.000 Muslim privilege.

00:10:16.000 So it's the most serious offense, right?

00:10:21.000 Treason and I think treason and insurrection would be at level 42, which is the highest level on offense levels on the federal sentencing chart.

00:10:32.000 They should call it 1.

00:10:34.000 It goes from 1 to 6 and 0 to 42.

00:10:37.000 So it's 1.

00:10:39.000 No, 42 is the highest level.

00:10:41.000 That's treason level.

00:10:42.000 So what do you mean 1 to 6?

00:10:44.000 Oh, on the top, that's your criminal history level.

00:10:47.000 If you have an extensive criminal history, you have no criminal history, you'll be a one.

00:10:51.000 I got you.

00:10:52.000 If you have an extensive one, you'll be a six.

00:10:55.000 And then you have the offense levels that go down the right-hand side.

00:10:58.000 They go from one to 42.

00:11:01.000 So the first guy got eight months, and you go, all right.

00:11:05.000 But if it's a 42, it should be, they should be murdered.

00:11:08.000 I'm not saying that you should get the electric chair for the insurrection.

00:11:11.000 I call it the meandering.

00:11:13.000 And the charges are showing as much.

00:11:16.000 They're saying they're saying trespassing and vandalism.

00:11:26.000 Wait a minute.

00:11:27.000 I just remembered something, Ryan.

00:11:29.000 I said to our South African friend, we're going to call him tonight.

00:11:33.000 Willem.

00:11:34.000 Yeah.

00:11:34.000 Petzer.

00:11:35.000 Can you grab my phone?

00:11:36.000 Sure.

00:11:38.000 It's up Maddie's ass.

00:11:41.000 It's on vibrate, too.

00:11:42.000 So just have him relax.

00:11:44.000 Yeah.

00:11:46.000 I said bring my phone because I left it at his house.

00:11:49.000 And he's, I think it's by there on the brown couch.

00:11:53.000 He's so used to being inside that when he brings anything, he smuggles it up his ass in a balloon.

00:11:58.000 One time he brought a six-pack to a party, and it was in a black balloon.

00:12:02.000 On the East Coast, you would call it, you would boof it.

00:12:06.000 Boofing, right.

00:12:07.000 And then on the west coast, they call it keestering.

00:12:09.000 Eastering.

00:12:10.000 Keistering.

00:12:11.000 You got a keys to that.

00:12:17.000 Here we go.

00:12:20.000 It's really going to be exceptionally difficult for me to do that because that will be 3am my time in the first place.

00:12:27.000 And secondly, things are like it's cold as shit, yeah, and also there is very, very bad signal.

00:12:37.000 And yeah, it's just like a proper hunting trip.

00:12:40.000 I think if we do an interview, I think we should just do it Monday if that's okay.

00:12:44.000 Like, I know I would say that we can maybe do it on the weekends while I'm here, but yeah, that was a stupid thing to say in the first place.

00:12:53.000 So that's a no.

00:12:56.000 Should I just call him anyway?

00:12:57.000 I've just been rejected.

00:12:59.000 No.

00:13:00.000 No, it's 3 a.m.

00:13:02.000 Yeah, well.

00:13:03.000 Can you play the You Have Hurt Me Today?

00:13:05.000 Oh, of course.

00:13:06.000 Because Willem has hurt me today.

00:13:10.000 He's known as a white supremacist, by the way, because he's concerned about his people getting massacred on a daily basis, which they are.

00:13:20.000 Doesn't that show you where we will be if we start getting massacred?

00:13:23.000 You have a problem with being ethnocided?

00:13:26.000 Well, you're a white supremacist.

00:13:30.000 Here we go.

00:13:32.000 You have hurt me today.

00:13:35.000 Sorry that you've been hurt.

00:13:36.000 We'll get him on next week.

00:13:37.000 You want to see something funny?

00:13:38.000 Yeah.

00:13:40.000 To lighten this up a little bit.

00:13:41.000 This is...

00:13:42.000 Are we getting too dark already?

00:13:44.000 I'm hiding things that he wouldn't want to see, but look at this exchange.

00:13:50.000 This is hilarious.

00:13:54.000 You just sent a screenshot, like three screenshots.

00:13:57.000 And he's like, why did you send this?

00:14:00.000 You know, I have a theory about South Africa.

00:14:04.000 Zuma is killing them all because they asked for human rights.

00:14:09.000 Right?

00:14:11.000 But with the South African accent, you hear human rats.

00:14:16.000 So Zuma is so stupid, he's scared of human rats.

00:14:20.000 Like rats that are part human.

00:14:22.000 That's why he's killing all the whites.

00:14:24.000 Because they want rats.

00:14:26.000 Human rats.

00:14:27.000 I think it's kind of smart to be scared of human rats.

00:14:30.000 It is.

00:14:30.000 Right.

00:14:31.000 But double check and be like, are these actually human rats that are going to be attacking me?

00:14:36.000 Or is this just someone who wants human rats?

00:14:38.000 They have a mythical creature in South Africa that looks like a human rat called the Tokolosh.

00:14:43.000 Oh, really?

00:14:43.000 We have French.

00:14:44.000 Hey.

00:14:45.000 No joke.

00:14:46.000 You're cool.

00:14:47.000 And they believe in it.

00:14:48.000 I read a great article today about Africa and the vernacular there and how they don't really have dictionaries like English, French-English dictionaries, because most of the languages are spoken.

00:15:03.000 So they're like, why do you have a dictionary?

00:15:04.000 It's your language.

00:15:05.000 You know it.

00:15:06.000 They have like eight different languages they speak there.

00:15:09.000 But they don't really have the term promise in the entire continent.

00:15:17.000 I promise I'll do that for you.

00:15:19.000 Wow.

00:15:20.000 Because it takes an abstract sense of morality to know that I'm committing to do something.

00:15:26.000 So in Africa, this article, by the way, is called, it's very offensive.

00:15:31.000 It's called Morality and Abstract Thinking, How Africans May Differ from Westerners from Amren.com.

00:15:38.000 Ooh, controversial source.

00:15:40.000 But in Africa, I promise I'll do that for you means I will do my best, but no guarantees.

00:15:46.000 So when it doesn't happen, it's no problem.

00:15:49.000 Because I didn't promise you.

00:15:51.000 I just said I promise.

00:15:52.000 Yeah.

00:15:53.000 Doesn't mean anything.

00:15:55.000 Different culture, different peeps.

00:16:00.000 So we're going to stick with some others.

00:16:02.000 Oh, yeah, but this John guy, sorry, to get back to the original story.

00:16:07.000 I was talking about our friend who was going to write his name in the cement.

00:16:12.000 And I said, that's vandalism.

00:16:15.000 And these guys at the, I didn't even call it the meandering because I don't want to burn an abridge with a newbie.

00:16:20.000 And I said, I said, it's the insurrection.

00:16:27.000 I said, the guys who are arrested for the insurrection, so you don't know where I stand yet, were arrested for trespassing.

00:16:34.000 And as I was saying insurrection, he went, oh yeah, the insurrection.

00:16:39.000 And I was like, ooh.

00:16:41.000 Okay.

00:16:42.000 Someone's wearing pink pants in the 50s?

00:16:46.000 We have a little assemblage.

00:16:50.000 He's one of us.

00:16:52.000 I told you about that.

00:16:53.000 I was at my wife's family reunion with her white side of the family.

00:16:58.000 And there was this guy there, young man, 22.

00:17:00.000 So I'm just like, my arms are behind my back.

00:17:03.000 I'm on parole.

00:17:04.000 Best behavior.

00:17:05.000 Hello.

00:17:05.000 Hi.

00:17:05.000 How are you?

00:17:06.000 Hello.

00:17:07.000 And they're all liberal.

00:17:08.000 They're all from Madison.

00:17:10.000 And my wife's uncle's son, so I guess it's her cousin, was talking about taxes.

00:17:18.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah, oh, I'm sure that'll trickle down.

00:17:21.000 That's the way it works, right?

00:17:22.000 The more we tax, the more money we get.

00:17:25.000 And I sort of, my gay dar went up.

00:17:29.000 And I was like, huh.

00:17:31.000 So you don't think high taxes are helping anyone?

00:17:36.000 So then I dared to sort of sachet over.

00:17:40.000 And I said, yeah, I mean, it would appear to me that the more you tax something, the less you get of it.

00:17:48.000 If you charge people for jaywalking $100 every time they jaywalk, probably going to be less jaywalking.

00:17:54.000 Exactly.

00:17:55.000 If you punish entrepreneurs, you're probably going to get less entrepreneurs.

00:17:58.000 And then he was like, well, hello.

00:18:02.000 That means you get.

00:18:02.000 Hello, my good friend.

00:18:05.000 We started making eyes.

00:18:07.000 That means you're conservative.

00:18:10.000 And we started making eyes at each other, basically.

00:18:13.000 And we ran out of beer.

00:18:15.000 And I go, I'm going to go.

00:18:17.000 I'll find a beer store.

00:18:18.000 We're in Malibu at a house the family rented.

00:18:21.000 I go, I'm going to go get more beer.

00:18:23.000 Anyone want to come?

00:18:24.000 He goes, yeah, I'll go with you.

00:18:26.000 Down the alleyway.

00:18:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:28.000 Dude, we get into the car.

00:18:30.000 And it was just, this is 2016.

00:18:33.000 So we get into the car and it's just like, finally, someone who fucking cares about this country.

00:18:37.000 I talk to real estate agents and things are going up really fast.

00:18:39.000 We finally have someone who wants a free market, who doesn't apologize all the time.

00:18:43.000 You know, Americans only really care about two things.

00:18:44.000 They care about stop apologizing all the time and we want guns.

00:18:47.000 And they keep talking about racism all the time, racism, racism, racism.

00:18:50.000 No one fucking cares about racism in this country.

00:18:51.000 It's old news.

00:18:52.000 They keep reviving.

00:18:53.000 It's a fucking communist talking point.

00:18:54.000 And we're both talking at the same time.

00:18:57.000 We go, we get the beer.

00:18:58.000 We're not even looking at the beer we're getting.

00:18:59.000 We're screaming about Trump the whole time.

00:19:01.000 I pull back in.

00:19:02.000 We're gone like 20 minutes.

00:19:03.000 The second we walk back into the house, boom.

00:19:06.000 We separate and go to different parts.

00:19:09.000 Because we just fucked.

00:19:12.000 In the car.

00:19:13.000 In the car.

00:19:14.000 He went and had a quickie.

00:19:16.000 He had a quickie.

00:19:17.000 He is another Trump murder.

00:19:21.000 It's fucking ironic, isn't it?

00:19:23.000 Yeah.

00:19:23.000 And then you talk to gays, like the gays we just saw.

00:19:26.000 That was Brandon Stracha getting attacked by a Negro.

00:19:29.000 And they were beating Brandon Stracha because he's a Trump supporter.

00:19:35.000 And so they started filming it and saying, a bunch of women are attacking us because we're gay.

00:19:41.000 They're calling us faggots.

00:19:42.000 So that woman had just yelled out, they're Trump supporters, which negates any accusations of prejudice.

00:19:49.000 You can kill Trump supporters with reckless abandon.

00:19:53.000 That's perfectly reasonable.

00:19:54.000 Speaking of African dictionary, it's kind of bleeding.

00:19:56.000 They have a dictionary, but it's here.

00:19:58.000 Oof, y'all, and yeet have now been added to the American dictionary.

00:20:06.000 What's oof?

00:20:07.000 Like, holy cow, like, that was harsh.

00:20:09.000 Yeah.

00:20:10.000 Okay.

00:20:10.000 That's our word.

00:20:12.000 Yeah.

00:20:12.000 Yeet and y'all.

00:20:13.000 I've been saying oof my whole life.

00:20:15.000 Yeah.

00:20:16.000 Yeah, you know who would like that dick?

00:20:18.000 Your mother.

00:20:19.000 Oof.

00:20:20.000 Oh, oof.

00:20:22.000 What is yeet?

00:20:23.000 Yeet.

00:20:23.000 What is like, I think to get out of there, like, I'm out of here.

00:20:27.000 Like, yeet.

00:20:28.000 Dude, that came out like an hour ago.

00:20:30.000 This year.

00:20:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 Yeet definition.

00:20:35.000 Let's do our second sponsor, Need of Fashions.

00:20:40.000 I was wrong.

00:20:41.000 This is one of the only days I'm not wearing Need of Fashions.

00:20:44.000 Oh, wait.

00:20:45.000 Sorry, go back to Yeet.

00:20:47.000 Yeet needs an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all our energy off.

00:20:51.000 We should do like a current cultural word of.

00:20:53.000 So you can't even help us with youth culture now?

00:20:55.000 I'm out of touch.

00:20:56.000 That's why I think we should do a service to all the viewers and tell them.

00:20:59.000 Tire you.

00:21:00.000 Yes.

00:21:00.000 But besides that, tell them urban culture.

00:21:05.000 So just in case they miss it.

00:21:06.000 And somebody walks by them and like.

00:21:07.000 I'm 50 years old, a father of three in the suburbs.

00:21:10.000 Maddie's an ex-con, also in the burbs.

00:21:14.000 We're not going to be getting anyone up to date on urban vernacular.

00:21:17.000 That's your job.

00:21:19.000 Where are you?

00:21:20.000 I'm too old for that.

00:21:20.000 I resent that culture.

00:21:22.000 So I'm just...

00:21:22.000 Brian, you are 32?

00:21:24.000 You have the brain of a 19-year-old.

00:21:26.000 You don't even know what Elise is.

00:21:28.000 Elise?

00:21:28.000 Yeah, I went to school with her.

00:21:30.000 Yeah, you see?

00:21:32.000 The girl I banged.

00:21:34.000 Anita Fashions.

00:21:35.000 So this is the only day I'm not wearing Anita Fashions jacket.

00:21:39.000 This is Ted Baker, but the shirt is Anita Fashions.

00:21:43.000 Perfectly tailed.

00:21:44.000 Look at this.

00:21:45.000 You know how much of a loser you look like when you don't have your top button done up?

00:21:49.000 You look like a half-assed turd who's going for his first job interview after your paperboy route.

00:21:56.000 You need to have customized shirts.

00:21:58.000 Now, I understand it's expensive to have all custom suits.

00:22:02.000 Fine.

00:22:03.000 Get a bunch of cheap suits if you must, but at least have your dress shirts be custom-made.

00:22:08.000 And that's what's fantastic about Nita Fashions.

00:22:10.000 So you contact them through their Twitter.

00:22:13.000 You can DM them.

00:22:14.000 Or you can go, I think it's info at nitafashions.com.

00:22:19.000 And what they used to do back when I discovered them when I worked at Fox News is they'd come to a hotel room and they'd measure you up.

00:22:26.000 They'd show you a bunch of swatches.

00:22:27.000 You'd choose like five shirts, six suits, or you could do it.

00:22:31.000 You can go super cheap with them.

00:22:33.000 You can do like a $50 dress shirt and nothing else.

00:22:36.000 But it'll fit you like a fucking glove.

00:22:40.000 Now they can't do that because of COVID, although I'm sure it's booting back up soon.

00:22:45.000 So you call them on like a video conference call or FaceTime, whatever you want.

00:22:50.000 You measure yourself up in front of them, and then they make you your suit, your shirts, whatever you need, and FedEx it to you.

00:22:59.000 Wow.

00:23:00.000 And then you steam it, you iron it, and now you have a shirt that fits you so fucking perfectly.

00:23:07.000 You know, if you fly first class once, you're spoiled and you need it again.

00:23:14.000 Like you can't go to coach ever again, although you do.

00:23:16.000 I do.

00:23:17.000 But when you have a custom suit or a custom shirt, you realize it wasn't the shirt or the suit that was bothering me.

00:23:23.000 It was the fit.

00:23:25.000 Once it fits you perfectly, it's like PJs.

00:23:29.000 Like these shoes, for example, they're not that expensive.

00:23:32.000 They're J. Crew.

00:23:34.000 These feel more comfy than Chuck's.

00:23:36.000 I cannot say enough about these.

00:23:38.000 I could run a thousand miles in these things.

00:23:40.000 And that's how I feel about my need of fashion suits.

00:23:44.000 I could, especially in July where the humidity is killing you.

00:23:48.000 When you have a suit that fits, it's just a different universe.

00:23:51.000 So if you're rich, I would recommend you get six custom suits.

00:23:56.000 And also, by the way, I know you're going to get fatter.

00:23:58.000 I did.

00:23:58.000 I added like an inch to my waistline.

00:24:00.000 They had already added an inch in there.

00:24:03.000 All they had to do was let it out.

00:24:05.000 So if you're rich, get like six suits and 10 shirts and you'll be walking around in pajamas.

00:24:10.000 It'll feel comfier than the basketball shorts and the t-shirt you're wearing now.

00:24:14.000 If you're broke, then get one dress shirt and that's it.

00:24:20.000 If you're a little more, less than broke, then get one awesome gray suit that you can wear to weddings and funerals that fits you perfectly and a $150 shirt.

00:24:31.000 And by the way, you will get infinite pussy at weddings and funerals.

00:24:35.000 Sorry about the funeral thing, but it's true.

00:24:37.000 When you have a fit suit.

00:24:39.000 There's nothing worse than seeing a man at a wedding or something where his hand looks like this.

00:24:44.000 It's downright embarrassing.

00:24:47.000 It hurts to look at.

00:24:49.000 Grow up, you fucking infant.

00:24:53.000 What was that?

00:24:54.000 I said, you hurt me today.

00:24:56.000 You've hurt me today.

00:24:58.000 If your blazer goes beyond your wrist.

00:25:01.000 Come on, dude.

00:25:04.000 I'm going to have to order a couple of shirts.

00:25:07.000 Anyway, NitaFashions.com.

00:25:08.000 Check them out.

00:25:11.000 All right.

00:25:13.000 So anyway, let me just finally finish this story.

00:25:17.000 What the fuck?

00:25:18.000 I was charging this bitch all day.

00:25:22.000 She better be.

00:25:24.000 Oh, there we go.

00:25:26.000 So when he said the insurrection in quotes, I think we're good.

00:25:31.000 Oh, yeah, the insurrection.

00:25:33.000 That's all you need.

00:25:34.000 How dare you call it that?

00:25:35.000 That's become a good little litmus test.

00:25:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:39.000 Did you roll your eyes when you said the insurrection, if you go like this, the insurrection, or did you say the insurrection?

00:25:46.000 It's kind of like that day, Teacher Joe, said that the Republican Party had their private army like Antifa.

00:25:54.000 And you go, oh, yeah, who?

00:25:55.000 The KKK.

00:25:57.000 That's sort of how we met.

00:25:59.000 Maddie was bartending at the bar and was talking to some teacher.

00:26:02.000 And I said, you know, that DNC has their own paramilitary wing, Antifa.

00:26:07.000 And he goes, so does the right.

00:26:09.000 And I go, who?

00:26:10.000 He goes, I'm just repeating Maddie's story, but whatever.

00:26:12.000 He goes, the KKK.

00:26:14.000 And I didn't know Maddie at all then.

00:26:15.000 No.

00:26:16.000 And we look over each other, we meet eyes, and Maddie just goes, really?

00:26:22.000 The KKK.

00:26:24.000 Yeah.

00:26:25.000 So I know the Antifa are at every fucking left-wing rally ever.

00:26:29.000 Are the KKK at every right-wing rally?

00:26:32.000 No.

00:26:33.000 Following Matt Goetz on their horses?

00:26:35.000 They're lucky if they could afford to travel to the local Kmart.

00:26:39.000 Crow the fuck up, you losers.

00:26:44.000 How much of this shit can they all believe is really what it's coming down to?

00:26:50.000 Okay, this isn't good for the fluidity of the show, but I'm going to read letters I haven't vetted yet.

00:26:57.000 There's one, two, three, four, five.

00:27:01.000 So normally we would dive into the letters and they'd all be good.

00:27:05.000 And then I might read some stinkers.

00:27:10.000 I start with stinkers because they've arrived since I've been talking at the beginning of the show half an hour ago.

00:27:16.000 Hey, Gav, I've been to a number of dead shows in NYC.

00:27:19.000 Okay, that's a great point.

00:27:21.000 Let's start with this.

00:27:21.000 The Grateful Dead suck shit.

00:27:24.000 That's a fact.

00:27:26.000 They are probably the worst band ever made.

00:27:29.000 I cannot believe how many people like them.

00:27:31.000 It boggles the mind.

00:27:32.000 Have you ever heard these bootleg tapes where people just hold up a cassette player in the sky and record it?

00:27:40.000 It's shocking.

00:27:43.000 Shockingly bad.

00:27:44.000 All you hear is the crowd.

00:27:46.000 Look up Grateful Dead bootleg tapes.

00:27:48.000 It sounds like your dad and his brother, your uncle, got on stage after a wedding and just put on the instruments that were sitting there and just started going before they got kicked out.

00:28:04.000 All right.

00:28:06.000 Cool.

00:28:08.000 And, you know, my chick part with.

00:28:11.000 He's proud.

00:28:12.000 The Jerry Garfield.

00:28:13.000 See if we can actually hear him.

00:28:14.000 He loved it.

00:28:16.000 I was never into the dead.

00:28:17.000 I've been to the dead shows at NYC back in the 90s.

00:28:19.000 There were some of the best times of my life.

00:28:21.000 Your life sucks.

00:28:22.000 Parting as a young man.

00:28:23.000 What do you think of that subculture compared to punks?

00:28:27.000 There are some similarities with the do-it-yourself thing.

00:28:30.000 No, there's not.

00:28:32.000 Deadheads are known for doing whatever they could for money to make it to the next show.

00:28:37.000 No, they sold acid.

00:28:39.000 There was no DIY.

00:28:41.000 There was no collectivism.

00:28:43.000 There was no fighting Nazi skinheads.

00:28:46.000 There was nothing.

00:28:47.000 It was just getting high.

00:28:49.000 A lot of nitrous oxide.

00:28:51.000 Self-indulgent fucking losers.

00:28:53.000 It's like my 600-pound life.

00:28:55.000 You're just eating Twinkies.

00:28:58.000 You're indulging your addiction.

00:29:01.000 I think I've seen once in the park like some girl was selling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

00:29:07.000 Wow, what a great entrepreneur.

00:29:10.000 She had like a loaf of wonder bread and a peanut butter in a jelly jar, and that was, she was selling them for two bucks.

00:29:17.000 Imagine, like, it's one thing to be so shitty that you like the Grateful Dead, but imagine also thinking, I was part of a cool movement called the Deadheads.

00:29:26.000 No, dude.

00:29:27.000 Okay, turn that up, Ryan.

00:29:29.000 Let's hear the Grateful Dead.

00:29:38.000 There's Titty.

00:29:39.000 This is a colonoscopy.

00:29:41.000 How do they do it?

00:29:42.000 It looks like it's two ferro heads.

00:29:43.000 Oh, dude, there's full frontal male noodly.

00:29:46.000 Male noodly?

00:29:47.000 No noodly.

00:29:49.000 Matt in Italy?

00:29:50.000 Well, it is noodly.

00:29:52.000 It's got the twigs and berries out.

00:29:55.000 Sounds great.

00:29:56.000 The meat and two veg.

00:30:01.000 Fucking gross.

00:30:11.000 Hire Kevin Brennan, someone says.

00:30:13.000 That guy seems like a dick.

00:30:14.000 Last sponsor before we close out and go behind the paywall and have some real fun.

00:30:19.000 Johnny Apple CBD.

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00:30:22.000 The finest CBD company in the world.

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00:30:34.000 So it's free speech CBD.

00:30:36.000 So it's ethical CBD.

00:30:38.000 Every time you buy it, you're supporting free speech.

00:30:40.000 Take the tincture to take the edge off.

00:30:43.000 Put in your coffee to take the edge off.

00:30:44.000 Use the topicals after a hard workout.

00:30:49.000 Use the gummies to go to sleep at night.

00:30:51.000 That's the tip of the iceberg.

00:30:52.000 That's all that I've tried.

00:30:54.000 I haven't tried the other 347 things on this.

00:30:58.000 Johnnyapple.com promo code Gavin gets you 20% off all orders.

00:31:05.000 I can't recommend it enough.

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00:31:10.000 If you have no interest in CBD, you think it's gross and stupid, then this is not for you.

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00:31:27.000 Because now you're getting your CBD and you're changing the world.

00:31:32.000 You're supporting free speech.

00:31:33.000 You're saying thank you to this American company that is not kowtowing to the psychopaths.

00:31:41.000 Also, by the way, another sponsor, Bubba and Hanks.

00:31:44.000 Oh.

00:31:45.000 What did you think of that?

00:31:46.000 I loved it.

00:31:46.000 Let me tell you something.

00:31:47.000 So what have you had so far?

00:31:48.000 That was a goodie bag that is still going.

00:31:52.000 So what have you had so far from?

00:31:53.000 So far I've had the chopped meat.

00:31:55.000 Then I've had, I put that, I did that in like a meat sauce.

00:32:00.000 Made a like a, you know, a red gravy with the chopped meat in it.

00:32:04.000 Meat sauce over the spaghetti.

00:32:06.000 Then I had, I just went through the six pack of burgers.

00:32:09.000 Delicious.

00:32:10.000 Amazing.

00:32:11.000 Amazing.

00:32:12.000 And I have defrosting now the beef off asabucco.

00:32:15.000 So I'm having that later this week.

00:32:17.000 What do you do burgers as?

00:32:18.000 What medium rare, medium well?

00:32:21.000 I like it medium rare.

00:32:22.000 A little pink in the middle.

00:32:23.000 Yeah.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, me too.

00:32:24.000 Same with my taste.

00:32:25.000 So I take them out of the fridge.

00:32:26.000 I put them up the room temp.

00:32:28.000 I sprinkle each side with a little bit of salt for the hour.

00:32:31.000 Then I leave them to get to room temp.

00:32:33.000 And then I right on the grill.

00:32:36.000 All right, so now we're leaving the free part of the show.

00:32:39.000 Kind of gave Bub and Hanks a free ad there, by the way.

00:32:42.000 We're going to go behind the paywall.

00:32:44.000 By the way, censored.tv has hours and hours of content every night.

00:32:49.000 It's better than Netflix and Hulu.

00:32:52.000 It's not woke.

00:32:53.000 It makes you feel sane.

00:32:55.000 There's no agenda here, by the way.

00:32:56.000 We just talk normally.

00:32:58.000 We basically are America in 1994 before it got woke.

00:33:03.000 So when we see a man dressed as a woman, we laugh because he looks silly.

00:33:08.000 We don't pretend that we're looking at someone who has changed their gender.

00:33:12.000 That's all it is.

00:33:13.000 It's portrayed as some sort of hate site, but it really is just you.

00:33:18.000 20 years ago?

00:33:20.000 That's all.

00:33:22.000 Anyway, we're about to get uncensored, uncensored, so stick around if you got money and fuck off if you don't and get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:33:57.000 What's he saying?

00:33:58.000 Get fired?

00:34:00.000 I don't like it.

00:34:01.000 It's called Fired, yeah.

00:34:02.000 That's a cool song.

00:34:04.000 The Tijuana Panthers.

00:34:09.000 Is that a picture of John Wayne?

00:34:13.000 Looks like it.

00:34:14.000 Looks like get interested.

00:34:14.000 It's called Wayne Interest.

00:34:20.000 Dude, if you're pro John Wayne and you say get fired, they're American Surf Rock Band from Long Beach, California.

00:34:28.000 That's it.

00:34:31.000 Surf rock.

00:34:32.000 I'm going to get fired.

00:34:35.000 Ooh, carpet denim instead of carp DM?

00:34:38.000 That's a right-wing phrase, carp DM.

00:34:40.000 Because they're military.

00:34:41.000 What do you call it?

00:34:42.000 Carp DM?

00:34:43.000 Yes.

00:34:44.000 And what does that mean?

00:34:45.000 It means live for the day.

00:34:47.000 It's carp a diem, and it means seize the day.

00:34:50.000 You don't speak Latin?

00:34:52.000 Yep, I know.

00:34:53.000 You don't speak English.

00:34:54.000 I do.

00:34:55.000 Yeet.

00:34:58.000 So if bands are slightly red-pilled, just like our dude at the bar and the guy at the family reunion, they have to just sort of release little tiny things.

00:35:10.000 Little tidbits.

00:35:11.000 Like Carpe Diem.

00:35:15.000 Huh.

00:35:18.000 And I bet if I contacted them and they were like, yeah, we love your show.

00:35:22.000 We watch it every night.

00:35:23.000 I go, okay, I want to go to one of your shows.

00:35:25.000 They go, okay, we can't be seen with you.

00:35:30.000 I'm going to a buddy's birthday party and he's got this band playing that are super PC and he's like, let's make it a Halloween party and then you can wear a disguise.

00:35:40.000 Oh my God.

00:35:42.000 Yeah.

00:35:42.000 If a friend of mine asked me to do that, we'd have problems.

00:35:47.000 Well, that's when I said, then I don't want to go.

00:35:50.000 Yeah.

00:35:50.000 And he's like, yeah, I was worried you would say that.

00:35:53.000 I mean, we can risk it, but the band might go, we just saw the founder of the Proud Boys is here.

00:35:58.000 Fuck you.

00:35:58.000 We're out.

00:35:59.000 Yeah, fuck the band.

00:36:00.000 Get a different band.

00:36:01.000 Get a better band.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:04.000 I get that.

00:36:05.000 I see that.

00:36:08.000 All right, you ready?

00:36:09.000 You ready, Maddie?

00:36:10.000 Yes, sir.

00:36:11.000 Leave it to dictionary.com to get urban words wrong.

00:36:14.000 It's like asking a woman to describe what it's like to be kicked in the balls.

00:36:18.000 The urban dictionary has it correct.

00:36:21.000 What?

00:36:24.000 Just like Froboy Ryan said.

00:36:27.000 Yeet.

00:36:28.000 Oh, so we've got to the minute letters that pertain to earlier parts in the episode.

00:36:34.000 Or discard an item at a high velocity or to leave.

00:36:37.000 Right, right.

00:36:38.000 So you were right.

00:36:40.000 Yeah, but I guess it has multiple meanings.

00:36:43.000 Nope.

00:36:44.000 Ryan, be confident.

00:36:47.000 What the fuck?

00:36:47.000 Was that just like some trick in a trailer park?

00:36:50.000 To discard an item at high velocity.

00:36:55.000 I wonder if Urban Dictionary or whatever that...

00:37:00.000 What if they make money?

00:37:03.000 Is that like a viable site?

00:37:05.000 Could you invest in that?

00:37:07.000 Because if they're recording pronunciations, then there's someone there who cares about the site.

00:37:12.000 Yeah.

00:37:13.000 And it's not just a fuck-off.

00:37:15.000 I mean, that is really poorly recorded, but yeah, it is.

00:37:17.000 And there's a yeet mug.

00:37:19.000 And there's tickets on the right-hand side.

00:37:22.000 There's ads.

00:37:25.000 So.

00:37:28.000 Huh.

00:37:29.000 Who knew?

00:37:30.000 Who knew?

00:37:32.000 What is ult?

00:37:37.000 Dragon is my yeet.

00:37:39.000 True for ultimate bias.

00:37:41.000 Wow, my ult.

00:37:43.000 Okay.

00:37:43.000 Yeet too.

00:37:47.000 I don't care.

00:37:48.000 I'm too old for this.

00:37:49.000 Next letter.

00:37:49.000 Russian drunk pisses himself in a funny way.

00:37:53.000 Okay, let's watch a Russian man piss himself.

00:37:58.000 Hey, downloading.

00:38:00.000 Why is it downloading?

00:38:01.000 Mine's ready to rock.

00:38:03.000 The fuck?

00:38:04.000 Ew, his dick is coming out of his pants.

00:38:06.000 Oh, wow.

00:38:07.000 Oh, fuck.

00:38:08.000 Not safe for work.

00:38:09.000 Seek, son.

00:38:10.000 For fuck's sake, Alan.

00:38:12.000 Alan!

00:38:15.000 Oh, you just made it worse by touching it, dude.

00:38:21.000 There we go.

00:38:22.000 At least he's got his mask.

00:38:43.000 Well, you gotta flex a bit, right?

00:38:47.000 Use your muscles torture muscles.

00:38:53.000 Every time he talks, it moves.

00:38:59.000 But he says nothing.

00:39:15.000 Yeah, because you use your stomach muscles to talk.

00:39:21.000 You gotta at least wake up to articulate, too.

00:39:30.000 Oh, the laughing makes it come out too.

00:39:34.000 Anyway.

00:39:38.000 He's gonna be destroyed tomorrow.

00:39:39.000 Yeah.

00:40:02.000 Brilliant style.

00:40:06.000 That was great.

00:40:08.000 And that was not an edited one.

00:40:10.000 No.

00:40:11.000 Wow.

00:40:15.000 You know what?

00:40:16.000 Okay, fine.

00:40:17.000 I'm gonna check out a musical suggestion without vetting it first.

00:40:23.000 Mrs. Magician Video Drum.

00:40:26.000 Solid band music.

00:40:27.000 I think they've disbanded.

00:40:28.000 Strange Heaven is a great album.

00:40:30.000 You can find yourself singing along to every song.

00:40:32.000 From what I remember, the lead singer was a woke joke.

00:40:35.000 So we'd probably hate this being recommended to you all.

00:40:38.000 Well, let's hope we hate it.

00:40:39.000 Let's try to hate this band, Mrs. Magician Video Drum.

00:41:08.000 Sounds pretty cool.

00:41:11.000 More surfy.

00:41:12.000 Pretty gay, but good.

00:41:16.000 Do a drop from 043.

00:41:19.000 You and Camilla lack diversity with German Americans.

00:41:24.000 Have Anthony's Eastern Euro slave, Luby, do a show with Michael Malis for a 10-minute plot.

00:41:30.000 Did I tell you what happened with Luby?

00:41:32.000 She's a Slovak, so I have Colin, what's his name's book on Colin Sacco's graphic novel on the war in Croatia,

00:41:47.000 Slovakia, whatever.

00:41:49.000 So I go, I've already read this.

00:41:52.000 I can buy another one if I really care about it.

00:41:54.000 So I brought it to her.

00:41:55.000 And then because she's pretty and I'm obviously a horn dog, I thought, oh, fuck.

00:42:00.000 Now it looks like I'm trying to get in her pants.

00:42:03.000 And then she didn't show up for the next like three compound censored.

00:42:07.000 And I thought, oh, fuck, I creeped her out.

00:42:10.000 I obviously would love to fuck her, don't get me wrong.

00:42:13.000 But, you know, beggars can't be choosers.

00:42:17.000 I wasn't making a move.

00:42:19.000 But now she's back.

00:42:29.000 She's got to go to 43.

00:42:30.000 That's a 43.

00:42:32.000 Oh, um, here we go.

00:42:49.000 Your attack will not be an easy one.

00:42:53.000 Your enemy is well trained, well equipped, and battle part.

00:42:58.000 He will fight savagely.

00:43:04.000 I don't get what this has to do with Anthony and I. I'm starting to slur like Joe Biden.

00:43:12.000 You like diversity with German-American.

00:43:15.000 All right, that's a non-screen letter.

00:43:17.000 Here's the last non-screened letter.

00:43:19.000 I don't know if this is worth your care at all, but I work in a school for the handicapped in Quebec.

00:43:25.000 I did that once, sort of.

00:43:27.000 I worked in a place in Quebec at a daycare in Verdun that was so shitty and poor that the kids were inevitably handicapped.

00:43:38.000 And the kids there love Dharman.

00:43:41.000 They idolize this guy.

00:43:43.000 These are 18-year-olds with the IQs of first graders and below all super awesome kids, but they absolutely adore his videos and watch them over and over again.

00:43:52.000 They analyze them, try to find deeper meanings, and refer to them all the time.

00:43:57.000 I don't really get it.

00:43:58.000 I think the answer is they feel smart watching the videos, question mark.

00:44:02.000 I'm not trying to make fun of them, but it might be an answer as to why his shitty videos do so well.

00:44:08.000 Average people are just above the level of the mentality of the mentally handicapped.

00:44:14.000 Love you, sunglasses.

00:44:16.000 Oh, that kind of explains something.

00:44:19.000 Dude, Darman's numbers are so high because retards are watching them 800 times a day.

00:44:31.000 So it's actually probably like 15,000 people watching them 100,000 times.

00:44:40.000 How many views did the airline that went on the airplane?

00:44:45.000 Let's look that up.

00:44:47.000 Jefferson Airplane?

00:44:49.000 I sent that to Tucker Carlson, actually.

00:44:52.000 And I go, the reason people don't like you is because you treat handicapped people like shit when they sit next to you on a plane.

00:45:01.000 And he said, if I had enough credit dollar for every time I've done that, I could be...

00:45:06.000 I don't know, living in Kuala Lampur.

00:45:09.000 His jokes are too esoteric and educated.

00:45:12.000 That's ridiculous.

00:45:13.000 How many views does this have?

00:45:14.000 How would you like to move to first class?

00:45:16.000 This has 7 million, rounding 8.

00:45:20.000 8 million views.

00:45:21.000 Oh, fundraiser.

00:45:22.000 Look at that.

00:45:23.000 What?

00:45:24.000 The theory goes farther.

00:45:27.000 It says fucking fundraiser, right?

00:45:29.000 The fucking error.

00:45:30.000 So this is some government.

00:45:32.000 he's not taking the money for these.

00:45:34.000 Oh, so your theory is this is his probation, right?

00:45:37.000 This is a government-mandated activity.

00:45:40.000 That's your theory.

00:45:40.000 How many likes and dislikes do we have?

00:45:43.000 What is that?

00:45:44.000 219 likes, 3.6,000 dislikes, 219,000.

00:45:50.000 Okay, I'm surprised.

00:45:51.000 To help individuals, okay, I don't know if all of his videos have fundraisers, but this one's raised $14,000 for people with disabilities.

00:45:58.000 Because we're so sick of them getting abused.

00:46:01.000 But go back to the donation thing.

00:46:04.000 Like, try to donate, but don't quite donate.

00:46:07.000 Or do donate.

00:46:08.000 I don't care.

00:46:11.000 Oh, so it goes right to Special Olympics.

00:46:14.000 So I don't know if you saw the episode, Maddie, but Ryan's theory is that Darman is doing probation and he has to do these PSAs.

00:46:21.000 Because he got caught with some, he got arrested for some pot stuff, like CBD, whatever, but not CBD.

00:46:29.000 Yep.

00:46:29.000 Like legal marijuana stuff.

00:46:33.000 It could be, because he's considered an influencer.

00:46:38.000 Yeah, he had to use his influence for the greater good of humankind.

00:46:41.000 You know who had to do that was Bujo Bantan when he did his hit Batty Boy.

00:46:49.000 No, his hit Boom Bye Bye, wherein he said that Batty Boys have to die.

00:46:54.000 They have to be killed.

00:46:56.000 Boom bye-bye in a Batty Boy way.

00:46:58.000 Me don't want them Batty Boys, I'm happy pay.

00:47:01.000 And then he had to do a commercial going, well, Guan, I'm Bujo Bantan, and I want you to know that faggots are okay with me, and it is a major crisis, you know, and you should use a condom and all manner of things.

00:47:14.000 I think who also had to do that was Takashi69.

00:47:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:19.000 He was doing like public service announcement at Romantic Depot against women violence.

00:47:23.000 Yes, we featured that on the show.

00:47:25.000 Oh, my God.

00:47:27.000 They probably said you have to promote businesses.

00:47:30.000 And then he goes, okay, what about this business?

00:47:32.000 And there was some bureaucrat who was black, an affirmative action hired, that was just stamping things.

00:47:37.000 Approved, approved.

00:47:38.000 Yes, I approved.

00:47:39.000 There it is.

00:47:40.000 And meanwhile, it's probably his friend.

00:47:43.000 And she probably like sucked his balls off its hinges.

00:47:46.000 Well, there's one in the Bronx not too far from the city.

00:47:49.000 Oh, I've been there before.

00:47:50.000 Man, not too far from the middle.

00:47:51.000 I've been there.

00:47:52.000 God, it's good.

00:47:53.000 And then there's another one up here in Westchester.

00:47:55.000 They're always trying to upsell you there.

00:47:57.000 You go in there, you got like a lingerie and a dildo and something, and they're like, no, no, no, you don't want this.

00:48:02.000 And I'm like, I actually want to get the fuck out of here.

00:48:06.000 And like, no, this vibrator only has one speed.

00:48:09.000 Okay.

00:48:10.000 I'll deal with one speed.

00:48:14.000 This is not the dildo you wanted.

00:48:17.000 Public service announcements by celebrities that get in trouble.

00:48:21.000 What a scam.

00:48:24.000 I never had that.

00:48:27.000 Yeah, you had to go to prison.

00:48:28.000 Yeah.

00:48:29.000 You ready to spice things up?

00:48:30.000 You do know you have to know your partner's limitations.

00:48:33.000 I agree.

00:48:34.000 When I was a young guy, I used to make a lot of stupid mistakes.

00:48:37.000 I'm ready to learn more.

00:48:38.000 Get informed.

00:48:39.000 Help stop violence against women.

00:48:41.000 Visit a Romantic Depot near you and pick up your free pamphlet.

00:48:44.000 Thanks to Romantic Depot.

00:48:45.000 I now know how to treat women with dignity and respect.

00:48:48.000 Visit Romantic Depot, Auckland.

00:48:50.000 Go to RomanticDepot.com for directions.

00:48:53.000 Make sure you go visit Romantic Depot for all your Valentine's gifts.

00:48:57.000 Wow.

00:48:58.000 That guy is a romantic.

00:49:00.000 Yeah, man.

00:49:03.000 Okay.

00:49:04.000 Sorry, go ahead.

00:49:05.000 I was going to say, here's a double fifth in 12-inch dildo, babe.

00:49:10.000 Yo, and if you go right now, you get a double vibrating ass plug.

00:49:14.000 For free.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, if there's one place where it's important to talk about women's rights, it's at a fucking sex club.

00:49:21.000 My son packed four years of drinking, fucking, and fighting into two years of college and is ready to get out working.

00:49:26.000 He likes looking good and snazzy.

00:49:29.000 A snazzy blazer would help him get a job while his beta male peers are busy living on the dole.

00:49:34.000 Where'd you get the vertical stripe blazer?

00:49:36.000 My vertical stripe blazer, sir, was a Vivian Westwood I got at Century 21, which is a place here in New York City that has overstock.

00:49:44.000 So you can get fancy brands for cheap prices.

00:49:47.000 It was too long, so then I had a tailor take it up.

00:49:51.000 Your son can't recreate that, but Nita Fashions, you could easily find a swatch of that material and have them make that blazer for, I'm going to say 500 bucks,

00:50:06.000 Max.

00:50:07.000 I don't know.

00:50:07.000 Ask them.

00:50:09.000 But it would be just as good as a Vivian Westwood blazer.

00:50:13.000 House of Tards meme.

00:50:14.000 Evening gents, you're welcome for my services, man.

00:50:17.000 It's made as a meme with the House of Tards.

00:50:22.000 And I do think they are retarded.

00:50:27.000 I do think every woman in that picture would have trouble with 11 times 12.

00:50:34.000 Wait, that's the one I got?

00:50:36.000 That one's tough for me.

00:50:37.000 Yeah.

00:50:38.000 Even me.

00:50:39.000 You're a retard.

00:50:40.000 It's 121, isn't it?

00:50:42.000 No, that's...

00:50:44.000 Well, here's what you could do with 11 times 12.

00:50:47.000 You go 11 times 10 is 110.

00:50:49.000 Then you can add 11.

00:50:50.000 Oh, 122.

00:50:51.000 121.

00:50:52.000 Then you can add 11, and you get 132.

00:50:59.000 That's what it is?

00:51:00.000 Okay.

00:51:01.000 Well, no, now I think I went up to 11 times.

00:51:03.000 I think it's 122.

00:51:04.000 You could do 12 times 10 is 120, plus another 12 is 132.

00:51:11.000 If you wanted to go that route.

00:51:12.000 Fuck.

00:51:14.000 See, Maddie's not drunk.

00:51:16.000 No.

00:51:16.000 So he's even better at math.

00:51:19.000 I can do math in public.

00:51:20.000 True.

00:51:21.000 To gap in my anus and nothing wrong with that.

00:51:24.000 Was watching Gavin Anthony talk about his foreskin removal on stage and then Instagram shows me this.

00:51:30.000 That's kind of weird.

00:51:32.000 This is a very disturbing lamp that I wouldn't recommend.

00:51:44.000 I mean, are they doing that on purpose?

00:51:46.000 The lamp company?

00:51:47.000 Not the joke.

00:51:49.000 But do they recognize that they're making a foreskin lamp?

00:51:53.000 They must, right?

00:51:54.000 They have to.

00:51:56.000 That's the problem with clown world is I never know what's a joke anymore.

00:52:00.000 Obviously, it's a novelty.

00:52:03.000 Gavbag and Ryan, check out Winter Gloves.

00:52:06.000 I know they're Canadian.

00:52:07.000 You probably discovered them.

00:52:08.000 Still, their music is right up your alley.

00:52:09.000 Synth Poppunk.

00:52:10.000 I especially like Factories and Let Me Drive.

00:52:12.000 If this is Ancient Chinese Secret, I'll acquiesce and have intimate sexual relations with you as you wear adjusting feminine footwear.

00:52:20.000 I enjoy your decision and new solar blocking eyewear.

00:52:24.000 Nikki B. Let's check out Winter Gloves, the band.

00:52:30.000 He recommends factories and let me drive.

00:52:33.000 Okay, let's check out Let Me Drive.

00:52:49.000 I thought you were ultimately right.

00:52:56.000 I know you're not.

00:52:58.000 Come on, just let me try and say I felt ugly.

00:53:04.000 I felt gay.

00:53:06.000 Let's try factories.

00:53:08.000 Fucking quiz.

00:53:12.000 That would make the song much better if those were real samples.

00:53:14.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:53:15.000 Sounded like a video game.

00:53:17.000 Yeah, I kind of like that shit.

00:53:18.000 Like the background shit.

00:53:19.000 8-bit.

00:53:20.000 Yeah.

00:53:22.000 Factories.

00:53:23.000 I'm not a fan.

00:53:25.000 I mean, we have very high standards here.

00:53:26.000 That was a good band, but when we're playing the Tijuana Panthers and Amel and the Sniffers and Sleaford Mods and Diane Word, I mean, you got pretty big shoes to fill.

00:53:48.000 Hey.

00:53:49.000 You're cool.

00:54:04.000 Yeah, that's fine.

00:54:05.000 Whatever.

00:54:06.000 Dude, have you seen this movie on Netflix Sex Tuplets?

00:54:12.000 Nah.

00:54:13.000 It is Nickelodeon IQ levels garbage.

00:54:18.000 Okay, can't wait.

00:54:18.000 Okay, remember in Tropic Thunder where Jack Black, and this movie was written by hilarious funny man Justin Thoreau.

00:54:27.000 Justin Thoreau, I think, was taking a stab at Eddie Murphy, who plays every character.

00:54:32.000 So he had the Jack Black character play a bunch, every single person in the movie in Tropic Thunder.

00:54:40.000 That's how the Jack Black character made his name, right?

00:54:44.000 So that joke from Tropic Thunder is now reality in Sex Tuplets, where, what's is it, Damon Wayans?

00:54:51.000 That's Marlon Wayans.

00:54:53.000 Marlon Wayans?

00:54:53.000 Damon's bald.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, I've seen this.

00:54:57.000 He finds out that he was an adopted sex tuplet, and he tracks down his other five siblings, and he plays them all.

00:55:05.000 Dude, it is written by a six-year-old.

00:55:10.000 I bet my eight-year-old son would go, this is gay and boring.

00:55:14.000 Play it.

00:55:16.000 Play it.

00:55:16.000 Gay and boring.

00:55:21.000 I'm excited.

00:55:22.000 I've seen this movie.

00:55:23.000 I think we should watch it for the show, actually.

00:55:24.000 Maddie, you and I should watch it and we'll make that an episode.

00:55:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:27.000 Definitely.

00:55:29.000 You're going to have to pay him for that.

00:55:31.000 I don't use this.

00:55:32.000 I know we're getting to a weird endeavor.

00:55:34.000 We're going to have to start paying Maddie.

00:55:36.000 It's like, I'll hang out, but watching the shittiest movie in the world, I might need a little scratch.

00:55:42.000 Definitely have to use the drop.

00:55:43.000 You hurt me today.

00:55:45.000 You hurt my eyes.

00:55:48.000 You are becoming a fix in this company, literally.

00:55:51.000 Now, everything's about to be a little bit more.

00:55:53.000 Music, dude.

00:55:54.000 Another baby's breath.

00:55:57.000 Linda, that's why I'm not sure.

00:55:58.000 She's from Saturday Night Live, too.

00:56:01.000 No, not Sherry O'Tonnie.

00:56:04.000 It's like pretending to do the dancer teams.

00:56:07.000 Yeah, the Spartans.

00:56:10.000 So the segment I saw tonight, his Mac pimp brother shows up and totally subjugates her and fucks her.

00:56:18.000 But she thinks it's him.

00:56:20.000 And it goes great.

00:56:22.000 Well, pull up the trailer, Ryan.

00:56:24.000 The trailer was playing before.

00:56:25.000 Let's see.

00:56:26.000 That's a fat one.

00:56:27.000 That's my favorite one.

00:56:28.000 Always funny.

00:56:29.000 Let's see.

00:56:30.000 There's a fat brother in there?

00:56:31.000 Yeah, of course.

00:56:32.000 They gotta have the fat brother.

00:56:34.000 And a dumb slut.

00:56:36.000 I like how they're all ghetto trash, too.

00:56:39.000 Don't be throwing shade at my brother.

00:56:41.000 See, I don't know him, but I love him.

00:56:46.000 Don't you ever mess with my family.

00:56:50.000 My whole life, I always wondered what my birth family was like.

00:56:52.000 Remove the curse or shit for brains.

00:56:55.000 My mama had six babies at the same time with six tuplets.

00:57:03.000 Maybe one of them changed their name to Idris Elba.

00:57:06.000 You know, we do have strikingly similar bone structures.

00:57:08.000 What?

00:57:10.000 Is he Idris Elba a hunk?

00:57:13.000 This is awkward.

00:57:14.000 Ryan, why is the text in the way?

00:57:18.000 That's this is the way they show trailers.

00:57:22.000 I'm not fighting.

00:57:23.000 Hey, man, you make it.

00:57:24.000 The buck is beautiful.

00:57:25.000 Boy, if you don't put some damn clothes on, look around.

00:57:28.000 So, so you're a stripper?

00:57:30.000 What the hell?

00:57:31.000 A stripper and exotic dance are different.

00:57:33.000 See this?

00:57:34.000 Here, here, here.

00:57:35.000 Shit, ship, ship.

00:57:36.000 Please don't do that.

00:57:39.000 Wow.

00:57:40.000 Oh, boy.

00:57:41.000 Imagine laughing at that.

00:57:43.000 Keep money, huh?

00:57:45.000 You got Republican money, huh?

00:57:47.000 Hey, hey, hey.

00:57:48.000 You know I'm a Bernie bro.

00:57:52.000 You shop at whole foods.

00:57:55.000 I am free.

00:57:57.000 I was about to El Chaco this bitch.

00:57:59.000 Oh, my God.

00:58:01.000 Housewife, the Atlanta is this.

00:58:03.000 Thank you, brother.

00:58:11.000 Baby Pete is in the hospital.

00:58:12.000 He's spitting her dreads out of his mouth.

00:58:14.000 Not every day that they long lost.

00:58:16.000 Keep going.

00:58:16.000 Appears out of thin air.

00:58:18.000 Donate a kidney.

00:58:19.000 You said what?

00:58:19.000 Why do you gotta take my kidney?

00:58:20.000 Why don't you take one of his?

00:58:22.000 Don't look at me because I sniffed way too much laptop cleaner and I popped a molly yesterday.

00:58:27.000 I was a molly.

00:58:31.000 I was just gone aimeth and Andy.

00:58:35.000 Just got fucked up.

00:58:35.000 Like the cake and cake could have made this.

00:58:37.000 Wait.

00:58:39.000 I always wanted to do that.

00:58:40.000 These past few days have been the greatest of my life.

00:58:44.000 Dude, they're not going to show the white one.

00:58:45.000 I've done things I've always seen.

00:58:47.000 They just showed a little glimpse of it.

00:58:48.000 Can we just.

00:58:48.000 I know where it is.

00:58:50.000 Can we click resume?

00:58:56.000 The Wayne's family is the highest paid family in the history of Hollywood, by the way.

00:59:00.000 Really?

00:59:00.000 Yeah.

00:59:01.000 There's like four of them, right?

00:59:03.000 Marlon, Damon, Sean, Sean.

00:59:06.000 Yeah.

00:59:07.000 Who were the ones that did the white girls?

00:59:10.000 That was I was telling my daughter today, I go, there's a scene in White Chicks where he goes to the woman's bathroom and starts shitting.

00:59:21.000 And he's having man shits.

00:59:23.000 And then he starts farting.

00:59:24.000 And the women that are in the women's bathroom putting on their lipstick are like, what the fuck?

00:59:28.000 That's so gross.

00:59:30.000 I go, guess how many farts there are?

00:59:32.000 And she goes, I don't know.

00:59:33.000 She's not really into me these days.

00:59:35.000 And I go, 15.

00:59:39.000 And then I'm sitting next to her on the couch and I go, 15 farts.

00:59:50.000 Who shits like that?

00:59:51.000 Now, if I was seven, yeah, who shits like that?

00:59:54.000 But if I was seven, I'd go, this is fucking hilarious.

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

00:59:59.000 Funniest show I've ever seen.

01:00:00.000 Four jokes.

01:00:01.000 Is that, you call that the white guy?

01:00:02.000 Dude, this is the guy who's like the white of them.

01:00:08.000 Just watch him.

01:00:08.000 No, he's the Samuel Jackson.

01:00:10.000 He's a ginger.

01:00:16.000 That made my nipples dance.

01:00:19.000 Thought I was a goner.

01:00:20.000 Thank you, kind sir, for saving my life.

01:00:22.000 I'm forever indebted to you.

01:00:23.000 Enough of the buffoonery!

01:00:26.000 You know, despite the obvious, we look exactly alike.

01:00:30.000 You and I?

01:00:31.000 Hardly.

01:00:33.000 Us?

01:00:35.000 Negative.

01:00:36.000 You two, however, it's uncanny.

01:00:39.000 Wow, this actor is really showing his range, isn't he?

01:00:43.000 He can play anyone.

01:00:44.000 I'm the black sheep of the family.

01:00:47.000 He's supposed to be a white guy.

01:00:49.000 Laugh!

01:00:54.000 And he's the evil guy, by the way.

01:00:55.000 If you couldn't tell.

01:00:57.000 He's a smart guy.

01:00:58.000 And smart people are the enemy of that movie because it's clearly for fucking absolute retards.

01:01:04.000 Wow.

01:01:05.000 Stunning.

01:01:06.000 That's terrible.

01:01:08.000 Dear Gavin and Ryan and Maddie.

01:01:11.000 Okay.

01:01:12.000 Shout out.

01:01:13.000 After watching a video you showed a while back, I looked into more drywall videos and found a competition that takes place every year called the Drywall Olympics.

01:01:22.000 I'm not sure how big this event is, but it takes place on the East Coast every year.

01:01:26.000 The event starts at two minutes.

01:01:30.000 If you're Scotch-Irish and you don't have a Mexican drywall guy who comes by and regularly fixes the holes in your walls, you're not Scotch-Irish.

01:01:40.000 If you're not punching your fingers, your bastard fingers, for letting you down.

01:01:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:48.000 Have you ever tried to fix a large drywall hole?

01:01:50.000 Yeah.

01:01:51.000 It looks like your wall became a pair of pajamas for six inches.

01:01:58.000 I've replaced doors, drywall.

01:02:02.000 It's the one thing.

01:02:03.000 I'm pretty terrible at everything, but replacing drywall holes is, that's a fucking art.

01:02:10.000 To make it look like there's nothing there, yeah.

01:02:13.000 It's amazing.

01:02:14.000 Yeah, it is, it's a talent.

01:02:17.000 All right, let's see.

01:02:19.000 Turn it up.

01:02:34.000 Top down.

01:02:36.000 Clean, nice, clean, cuts around the boxes and the buckets.

01:02:40.000 I would fucking love to go to this.

01:02:42.000 And my wife would rather suck my dad's dick.

01:02:48.000 Imagine you brought your wife to this.

01:02:50.000 I guess where this probably came from is years ago, if people weren't union carpenters or drywall guys, they weren't in union, they'd get paid by the board.

01:03:00.000 By the board?

01:03:00.000 By the board.

01:03:01.000 So they want to throw up as many boards a day as they can because that means they made more money.

01:03:08.000 Yep, getting paid by the board.

01:03:11.000 That would be so fun to go to.

01:03:13.000 Oh, of course, we've got to get a broad in there.

01:03:15.000 We know how good women are at Drywall.

01:03:17.000 Yeah.

01:03:19.000 Look at this.

01:03:20.000 That column is fake, by the way.

01:03:22.000 Ryan, use your 3D cam.

01:03:27.000 So when I built this studio, I said, I want the sensor.tv thing, the sit-down area, to be perfectly symmetrical.

01:03:35.000 There's a column on the left-hand side.

01:03:37.000 I want a column on the right-hand side.

01:03:39.000 So I brought in my Mexicans, and look at the job they did.

01:03:44.000 So you see that?

01:03:46.000 I'll get over it.

01:03:48.000 You want to turn on your lav?

01:03:50.000 No, you can just recite what I'm saying.

01:03:52.000 You can just recite what I'm saying.

01:03:58.000 So this is real.

01:04:00.000 This was there.

01:04:03.000 And this is totally fake.

01:04:04.000 And this is totally fake.

01:04:07.000 Look at this seamless top over there.

01:04:09.000 It's perfect.

01:04:10.000 It's perfect.

01:04:13.000 It's incredible.

01:04:14.000 It's incredible.

01:04:15.000 That's pure dick.

01:04:16.000 Brilliant, son.

01:04:18.000 You know how many fucking years that would take me to do?

01:04:21.000 I would have to rip it down 100 times.

01:04:24.000 One time I was a kid and my dad's mom died.

01:04:28.000 He was in a bad mood and he was fighting with my mom.

01:04:31.000 And my bedroom was next to theirs, which I don't recommend because Scots don't have a problem with fucking and knowing that people know they're fucking.

01:04:40.000 They're like shameless Africans in many ways.

01:04:43.000 So my dad would fuck my mother and the headboard would just be going bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, against my wall.

01:04:52.000 I was remembering today, we went on a road trip from Montreal to Vancouver, across Canada, in a tiny Little stupid egg trailer that was from the 50s, and my parents fucked each other while I was in it.

01:05:09.000 I was 14 at the time, my brother was a baby, and I'm there in the little bed thing, just going getting jostled as my dad tears my mom a new ass.

01:05:23.000 That's bad.

01:05:25.000 So anyway, this wasn't the headboard.

01:05:29.000 It was his foot.

01:05:30.000 His foot came into my bedroom.

01:05:32.000 I saw a foot.

01:05:35.000 And so being a cheap ass and Canada having no Mexicans, he fixed it himself.

01:05:40.000 And I'll never forget the way the wall was normal and then it had this sort of chubby like cellulite and then went back to normal again.

01:05:49.000 Even though one side was painted, the other had wallpaper on it.

01:05:52.000 They both had that curse.

01:05:57.000 All right.

01:05:59.000 Coming up to the last one.

01:06:04.000 Official White Boy Summer Playlist.

01:06:07.000 This is interesting.

01:06:08.000 A playlist by official America First.

01:06:11.000 So Nick Fuentes and the boys have put together a playlist.

01:06:17.000 I'm assuming it's them, right?

01:06:20.000 I got the app.

01:06:22.000 You don't own it.

01:06:23.000 I do.

01:06:23.000 I do have the app.

01:06:26.000 We should.

01:06:26.000 I have to open up.

01:06:27.000 Malibu, Miley Cyrus, Ricky, Denzel Curry, Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes.

01:06:33.000 They got the Arctic Monkeys.

01:06:34.000 The boys are back in town, Thin Lizzie.

01:06:37.000 You know what I think this is?

01:06:38.000 I think this is my little protege, Nick Fuentes, trying to be Gavi and realizing that our music segment of the show is a popular segment.

01:06:48.000 And he wants to do it too.

01:06:50.000 But he clearly hasn't accrued enough life experience to make a good mix because there's cringe in there like Sum41, like Gwen Stefani, like Kid Rock, like Corey Hart.

01:07:03.000 What's Some 41 song?

01:07:05.000 Blink 182.

01:07:11.000 Yeah.

01:07:12.000 Blink 182?

01:07:13.000 That's White Boy Summer.

01:07:14.000 I think he's too young to be making mixes.

01:07:20.000 Kanye West, Power.

01:07:21.000 Okay.

01:07:22.000 That's an album.

01:07:23.000 Nice mix, Nike.

01:07:26.000 Curiosity of the musical variety.

01:07:28.000 I obviously am same with your worldview and stuff, but what really sets your show apart from, say, Alex Jones or AIU is the music editorializing.

01:07:37.000 Oh, that's what I was just talking about.

01:07:39.000 I'm from the West, but live in the South and would never live anywhere else in the U.S., especially now.

01:07:45.000 But one of my favorite bands is the Walkmen, who have storied New York City history.

01:07:49.000 Have you ever delved into their discography?

01:07:51.000 Are you a fan?

01:07:53.000 I'm familiar with the Walkmen.

01:07:55.000 They're a New York band.

01:07:56.000 I find them kind of corny indie rock beta whales.

01:07:59.000 But yeah, pull them up.

01:08:03.000 It's a good song by them.

01:08:05.000 The rat?

01:08:06.000 What gives you the rat?

01:08:08.000 What gives you the rat?

01:08:09.000 The human rats.

01:08:10.000 I'm just fighting for human rats.

01:08:12.000 This is a new one.

01:08:14.000 Got a video.

01:08:16.000 Why?

01:08:20.000 If they were playing at a party, I'd have to wear a disguise.

01:08:35.000 House party.

01:08:38.000 Let's jump to the middle.

01:08:47.000 Gay and boring.

01:08:51.000 Your taste sucks, sir.

01:08:52.000 Have a nice chance.

01:08:53.000 Let's start taking some calls.

01:09:03.000 Yeah.

01:09:07.000 Wow, there's some garbage mail we received since we started the show that I just will not waste your time with.

01:09:14.000 You want to click that mic on there, guys?

01:09:16.000 Just got to hold the button down until it turns.

01:09:18.000 Oh.

01:09:24.000 By the way, people have been asking about the book of the day.

01:09:27.000 I'm completely gutting my library and rebuilding it from scratch, so my books are all in boxes.

01:09:34.000 We will be bringing back the book of the day.

01:09:37.000 But I'm stunned at the price of bookshelves.

01:09:43.000 I showed the guy the main wall I want.

01:09:45.000 I go top to bottom.

01:09:49.000 This is your guy, by the way, who broke your knee.

01:09:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:52.000 And I go, I have so many books that I don't care about the shelves.

01:09:56.000 Just make sure there's variety.

01:09:57.000 But if they're too tall, too short, I got little books, big books, whatever.

01:10:01.000 Just make sure there's different heights.

01:10:03.000 And he goes, okay, so that wall right there, just give me like eight grand and we'll be good.

01:10:10.000 And I said, what?

01:10:13.000 Come again?

01:10:14.000 $8,000?

01:10:16.000 American dollars or rupees?

01:10:19.000 And he's like, I can make you adjustable shelves so they're different.

01:10:21.000 I go, I don't need that.

01:10:23.000 And he goes, well, if you pay cash and it's not painted, I could go down to six.

01:10:30.000 And then I looked to some other people and they were like, yeah, that's pretty good, six.

01:10:35.000 Unpainted.

01:10:38.000 What?

01:10:38.000 Damn, dog.

01:10:40.000 Now, I could get it from IKEA for like one.

01:10:44.000 I don't know if an adult should have IKEA bookshelves in his house, but fuck.

01:10:49.000 And that's just like a third of my books.

01:10:51.000 If I do the basement too, it's going to be...

01:10:54.000 Yeah.

01:10:55.000 When you get $20,000 for fucking bookshelves?

01:10:59.000 Custom cabinetry, stuff like that is big money.

01:11:03.000 I was talking to PJ at the bar, and he's like, well, I got a guy who's fucking $300 a day, but that would take him a few weeks.

01:11:12.000 What?

01:11:13.000 Yeah.

01:11:14.000 $1,500 a week, a few weeks.

01:11:17.000 You know, it's $45,000, $5,000.

01:11:21.000 The fuck?

01:11:22.000 It's just some shelves.

01:11:26.000 Well, here's the letter.

01:11:28.000 I hate Maddie.

01:11:29.000 Maddie sucks.

01:11:30.000 Get him out of this show.

01:11:31.000 He's the worst guy ever.

01:11:33.000 Thank you.

01:11:34.000 Okay, I paraphrase a little bit.

01:11:35.000 That's weird.

01:11:36.000 I don't see that here at all.

01:11:37.000 It actually says, Maddie is the man.

01:11:39.000 By the way, Gavin, Maddie is the man.

01:11:40.000 I can like him.

01:11:42.000 I, like him, can definitely tell he's got Scottish blood.

01:11:45.000 He's got that look about him.

01:11:47.000 Not like Ryan.

01:11:48.000 He needs to man up and look more Scottish.

01:11:51.000 By the way, when I read that, I am correcting so much fucking grammar.

01:11:55.000 It's unbelievable.

01:11:56.000 Straight from Glasgow.

01:11:58.000 It's Glaswegian.

01:12:00.000 Let's hit a little intro.

01:12:04.000 Yeah, I love this song.

01:12:08.000 Thank you, Reader.

01:12:09.000 You are on the air.

01:12:12.000 This is a fucking loser.

01:12:14.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.

01:12:18.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:12:19.000 You have one thing.

01:12:21.000 Thank you for calling.

01:12:22.000 It was great hearing from you.

01:12:23.000 Bye-bye.

01:12:24.000 All right, next call.

01:12:26.000 That's our best interstitial.

01:12:28.000 Yeah.

01:12:29.000 I see the falling down reference.

01:12:32.000 Yeah.

01:12:32.000 With the MAC 10 shooting up the phone booth.

01:12:34.000 Yeah.

01:12:35.000 You know the guy who wrote that movie was very disappointed in the audience for liking the protagonist.

01:12:41.000 He was supposed to be a bad guy.

01:12:43.000 And he was an American hero.

01:12:46.000 Did you also know that that guy I'm talking about was a regular on Portlandia where he played an old bald pervert?

01:12:55.000 No.

01:12:56.000 And he was the writer of Falling Down.

01:12:58.000 I did know.

01:12:58.000 Yes, that's a fact.

01:13:01.000 We got a dude on the line right now.

01:13:03.000 Okay, hello, sir.

01:13:04.000 Hello, hello.

01:13:08.000 Hello?

01:13:09.000 Hi.

01:13:11.000 Gentlemen and Ryan.

01:13:14.000 Dude, the Grateful Dead suck so much shit.

01:13:18.000 Thank you.

01:13:19.000 I work with a ton of guys.

01:13:21.000 What?

01:13:22.000 Thank you.

01:13:24.000 I work with a bunch of guys that are like all former deadheads and stuff.

01:13:28.000 And let me tell you what, dude.

01:13:30.000 Zero personality.

01:13:32.000 They're like just fucking organisms that exist at work.

01:13:36.000 And one thing I have noticed with all deadheads is they always wear fucking flip-flops everywhere.

01:13:42.000 Even in jeans.

01:13:44.000 That's all.

01:13:45.000 Thank you for calling, sir.

01:13:47.000 We really appreciate it.

01:13:49.000 What's the Grateful Deads like?

01:13:50.000 What's their top number one satisfaction?

01:13:55.000 Sugar on the Mountain or some shit with the voice?

01:13:57.000 What's the song we're supposed to like?

01:14:00.000 Friend of the Devil.

01:14:03.000 A Touch of Gray.

01:14:05.000 I'm looking them up here like any residents.

01:14:08.000 These are the only ones that were commercially like, did they have a hit ever?

01:14:14.000 Fire on the Mountain, I think that's one of them, right?

01:14:16.000 Fire on the Mountain?

01:14:17.000 Okay.

01:14:17.000 Scarlet Begonias, 10.

01:14:19.000 Bertha.

01:14:19.000 Let's just scoot to the first one.

01:14:21.000 Yeah.

01:14:21.000 Let's hear their very best, most popular, accessible songs.

01:14:25.000 Casey Jones.

01:14:26.000 Okay.

01:14:27.000 Hit me with Casey Jones, please.

01:14:34.000 That's fine.

01:14:36.000 Oh, this one.

01:14:38.000 Cocaine.

01:14:40.000 Casey Jones, you better watch his feet.

01:14:45.000 I just hear a bunch of wasted dudes noodling on guitars.

01:14:51.000 My wife loves this song, and I don't understand.

01:14:54.000 Is she trying to be cool?

01:14:56.000 I don't know, but a woman.

01:14:57.000 They're retarded.

01:14:59.000 She likes a lot of Grateful Dead songs.

01:15:03.000 There's nothing I like here.

01:15:04.000 But I don't get it.

01:15:06.000 Like, I don't know what to hang my hat on.

01:15:07.000 They were just a jam band.

01:15:09.000 That was it.

01:15:10.000 All they ever worked on.

01:15:11.000 But a jam band is great if you're in the band jamming at the time.

01:15:15.000 The rest of us aren't interested in seeing you fucking play basketball.

01:15:20.000 It's like watching guys at high school pickup game play basketball.

01:15:25.000 Oh, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.

01:15:27.000 What music did you ever pretend to like to be cool?

01:15:29.000 Did you ever do that?

01:15:31.000 Because Steely Dan was mine.

01:15:32.000 I was like, I think I'm smart if I pretend I like Steely Dan.

01:15:41.000 Some bands I made myself like that I didn't like at first.

01:15:44.000 And then you actually wound up liking.

01:15:45.000 Like GBH.

01:15:46.000 I liked their logo and the band, so I just listened to it 9,000 times until I got it.

01:15:54.000 You forced yourself to like it.

01:15:56.000 I brainwashed myself into liking GBH.

01:16:08.000 They're from Bristol.

01:16:24.000 Now I love them.

01:16:26.000 So wow, that worked.

01:16:27.000 It worked.

01:16:28.000 Holy shit.

01:16:29.000 That's rare.

01:16:31.000 But there was some, like, towards the end of my punk days, the bands were getting super intense, like crusty punk, napalm death, and stuff.

01:16:39.000 And I remember, like, playing napalm death and going, come on, buddy, you can do it.

01:16:44.000 Let's like it up.

01:16:46.000 Right.

01:16:46.000 And I was just like, no.

01:16:48.000 Can't do it.

01:16:48.000 This is a fucking cacophony.

01:16:50.000 I'm out.

01:16:51.000 Yeah.

01:16:52.000 Go to Tower.

01:16:54.000 Napalm Death was really the end of punk for me.

01:17:03.000 This wouldn't sound so bad.

01:17:04.000 This probably isn't their most.

01:17:05.000 This is probably late Napalm Death.

01:17:08.000 But I like gay punk, like Bow Wow, Wow and the Sex Bistles and stuff.

01:17:12.000 I liked musical punk.

01:17:15.000 Melodic.

01:17:16.000 Yeah.

01:17:16.000 Oh, look, people are sending us letters as we do the show.

01:17:19.000 About Grateful Dead?

01:17:20.000 Yeah.

01:17:21.000 Top song.

01:17:22.000 Also, this will piss off Deadheads.

01:17:25.000 And it's called Touch of Gray.

01:17:27.000 Yeah.

01:17:28.000 That was like their big one viable commercial hit.

01:17:31.000 Oh, so Deadheads probably hate this because it's their sellout jam.

01:17:35.000 I just want to hear them be musical.

01:17:38.000 Like, I get that bands noodle away on their live shows, but you got to show me.

01:17:43.000 It's like an artist.

01:17:43.000 You got to show me you can draw hands.

01:17:45.000 And then you can go do abstract art.

01:17:54.000 Yeah.

01:17:55.000 Here's the whole dead thing.

01:18:00.000 I'm grateful Jerry Garcia is dead.

01:18:02.000 It's all skeletons.

01:18:07.000 Dude, I thought they were like metal.

01:18:08.000 Like before, when I was a little kid and you're Grateful Dead, you're like, oh, that shit's serious.

01:18:13.000 And then later on.

01:18:14.000 Oh, I know this song.

01:18:26.000 Okay, this is like an accessible hit song, right?

01:18:31.000 I hate you all, you have no taste.

01:18:33.000 Grateful that's perfect for driving, fire pit music, or doing other stuff while you're hanging out.

01:18:38.000 Okay, so it sucks.

01:18:40.000 So are whale calls and bird calls and white noise and podcasts.

01:18:46.000 That's not music.

01:18:48.000 Anyway, let's get to callers.

01:18:50.000 Wait, I got this letter.

01:18:51.000 How do I go about courting?

01:18:53.000 He spelt courting C-O-R-D-I-N-G.

01:18:57.000 I guess you wrap them up in a cord.

01:19:00.000 How do I go about courting a girl I used to date in high school, and I'm not sure if she hates my guts or not?

01:19:06.000 Learn how to spell first.

01:19:09.000 Don't text her.

01:19:10.000 Yeah.

01:19:12.000 Do voice to text.

01:19:16.000 I'm not very good at the...

01:19:17.000 I haven't been courting girls for a long time.

01:19:22.000 So let's assume he's 21.

01:19:24.000 How do you flirt with a girl who's 21?

01:19:27.000 Just got to be yourself.

01:19:29.000 You've got to have a bag of Coke, really.

01:19:31.000 Yeah.

01:19:32.000 I don't know.

01:19:33.000 Are young kids in the Coke these days?

01:19:36.000 I don't know.

01:19:36.000 It was an old range in the late 80s and 90s when I was young.

01:19:39.000 I was saying the other day, one thing if you're picking up girls as a young man is don't start out in the friend zone.

01:19:46.000 Right.

01:19:47.000 Like start out horny.

01:19:48.000 That's the kiss of death.

01:19:49.000 And be like, you're so fucking hot, I can't believe it.

01:19:52.000 So now it's established, I'm a horny man.

01:19:54.000 I like fucking, and I want to fuck you.

01:19:56.000 I don't want to be your friends.

01:19:58.000 I want to fuck you.

01:20:00.000 Yeah.

01:20:01.000 You have to lay that, you have to make that intention known immediately.

01:20:05.000 Now, you can also be the fun guy.

01:20:07.000 So like, you're so fucking hot, I can't believe it.

01:20:10.000 Holy shit.

01:20:11.000 That outfit, like, who dresses you up?

01:20:13.000 Professional?

01:20:14.000 And then also, like, hey, we're all going to steamers down the street.

01:20:18.000 There's some guy there going to be sword swallowing and lighting his eyes on fire.

01:20:22.000 Yeah.

01:20:22.000 You should come.

01:20:23.000 It's going to be funny.

01:20:24.000 Now I want to fuck you.

01:20:26.000 And I'm a fun guy that wants to take you to a fun thing.

01:20:29.000 So if you don't want to fuck me, well, we can still have some fun.

01:20:32.000 Yeah.

01:20:33.000 But to just be like, hi, I'm a friend.

01:20:36.000 That's not going to work.

01:20:37.000 They could smell the deceit.

01:20:39.000 Because then, as we were talking about on one of the bank shows, you have that thing, say, God forbid, you get her back to your house, and you're sitting on the couch, and you have to have that.

01:20:51.000 You have to lean in for the kiss.

01:20:53.000 Wait, if you lean into your right, Maddie, and then Gavin leans into his left.

01:21:01.000 And then I just pop in.

01:21:02.000 And I've had girls who have gone like this, who have gone like...

01:21:07.000 Not because they didn't want to make out, but just because this whole scene was so fucking lame.

01:21:11.000 Yeah.

01:21:16.000 It's sex.

01:21:17.000 It's not a big deal.

01:21:19.000 Why are you gay?

01:21:20.000 Why are you gay?

01:21:22.000 Sex is like not a big deal.

01:21:26.000 Sometimes you just got to grab my pussy.

01:21:28.000 So we got calls next.

01:21:30.000 Let's see.

01:21:30.000 Griffin is on the line.

01:21:32.000 Griffin, talk to us.

01:21:33.000 Be sexy.

01:21:34.000 Wait, we have a question for Maddie coming in.

01:21:36.000 Oh, let's do this guy first.

01:21:37.000 How you doing, buddy?

01:21:40.000 Not too bad.

01:21:40.000 How are you, Gavin?

01:21:41.000 We're pretty good, man.

01:21:43.000 Good to hear from you.

01:21:44.000 What do you got to say?

01:21:47.000 Oh, fuck.

01:21:48.000 I got a weird voice.

01:21:49.000 My bad.

01:21:49.000 I'm from Prince George, Canada.

01:21:51.000 I'm wondering...

01:21:52.000 My dad owns a logging company that I work for.

01:21:56.000 Oh, dude, do you watch that show on Netflix?

01:21:58.000 Do you watch that Netflix show?

01:22:02.000 Which one?

01:22:03.000 What's it called?

01:22:04.000 Big Timber or something like that?

01:22:07.000 Timber Kings?

01:22:09.000 What is it called now?

01:22:11.000 Big Timber.

01:22:12.000 No, I don't.

01:22:14.000 I don't watch it.

01:22:15.000 Dude, it's really fucking good.

01:22:17.000 And it's in Victoria Island.

01:22:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:22.000 Yeah, I went to school there.

01:22:24.000 It's fucking amazing.

01:22:26.000 Anyway, sorry, go ahead.

01:22:30.000 So I'm wondering, I'm 21, dropped out of school.

01:22:34.000 I went to school for arts and fucking hated it.

01:22:37.000 Do you think it's worth going to business school?

01:22:40.000 No.

01:22:42.000 Just do business.

01:22:44.000 Not at all.

01:22:45.000 Not at all.

01:22:45.000 Not one iota.

01:22:46.000 When I started Vice, a normal business plan that you would submit to the bank, and even back then in the early 90s, the bank's not giving you a penny unless you're doing the simplest thing on earth, like making nuts and bolts.

01:23:00.000 A normal business plan was five to ten years.

01:23:03.000 Then we got into the late 90s, dot-com boom happened, and they weren't interested in more than a two-year business plan.

01:23:12.000 Now, with Bitcoin appearing and disappearing, I don't think a year business plan is in anyone's best interest.

01:23:20.000 So no one's an expert.

01:23:23.000 These people don't know business.

01:23:24.000 They don't know what they're doing.

01:23:27.000 I think 10 out of 12 businesses fail.

01:23:30.000 So if you're an entrepreneur, you'll start them, they'll suck, they'll die, and one will stick.

01:23:36.000 And that's what was so great about Censor.tv.

01:23:40.000 We were in a studio where the rent was $1,100 a month in a shithole basement, basically a furnace room.

01:23:49.000 And we did that for two years, and we went, okay, we're profitable.

01:23:53.000 Now we can build a studio.

01:23:54.000 And then we built the studio.

01:23:56.000 So do a bunch of businesses that fail and suck.

01:23:59.000 Try not to get down after they suck.

01:24:02.000 You're sort of like a young man getting pussy, like you're going to get rejected a lot.

01:24:07.000 And then one will stick.

01:24:08.000 And it'll be the one that's closest to your heart because you'll be the most passionate about it.

01:24:12.000 Well, he said he works for his father's business.

01:24:15.000 Yeah, what's your father's business?

01:24:17.000 A logging business.

01:24:18.000 So why not either pursue that or an offshoot of that?

01:24:23.000 He wants me to go to business school.

01:24:25.000 That's my big fucking problem is he doesn't have any respect for somebody who hasn't gone to school.

01:24:29.000 He's Really old school.

01:24:31.000 Yeah, that's fucking wrong.

01:24:33.000 That's another world.

01:24:36.000 That was the case.

01:24:37.000 Thank you.

01:24:38.000 Education is dead.

01:24:41.000 It used to be.

01:24:42.000 Dude, how do I explain that to somebody?

01:24:46.000 Okay, my dad's born the same year as you.

01:24:49.000 You show him, what a fucking old bastard.

01:24:52.000 1970.

01:24:54.000 You show him Dan Klaus's comic art school.

01:24:58.000 Back in the 50s, if you went to art school, you would be able to draw a Harlequin romance cover perfectly.

01:25:05.000 It would be the couple in love making out with like flames in the background, and it would look like a photograph.

01:25:12.000 That's art school.

01:25:13.000 Art school today is a tampon in a teacup.

01:25:16.000 You call it Typhoon and you get an A-plus.

01:25:20.000 Yeah.

01:25:21.000 Now that's art school.

01:25:22.000 This is true of all other schools, though.

01:25:25.000 I mean, just have them look at some of the curriculums.

01:25:29.000 There's history.

01:25:30.000 Even when I was in school in the early 90s, there was the philosophy of rock, philosophy of love was a class.

01:25:38.000 There's a class called How to Be Gay that wasn't at my school, but you can look it up.

01:25:44.000 It's a shit show fucking lie.

01:25:47.000 Your dad's wrong.

01:25:48.000 I know where he's coming from.

01:25:49.000 He's thinking of the 50s and 60s.

01:25:52.000 But no, post-1995, education is a fucking farce.

01:25:57.000 Did he go to business school?

01:26:00.000 Did you hear that?

01:26:03.000 Yeah, no, he went to school for sustainable resources and maybe business.

01:26:09.000 I can't remember specifically, but it was all around logging.

01:26:13.000 We logged in in Northern BC for like 200 years, my family.

01:26:17.000 So maybe, okay, maybe I'm talking at a turn here.

01:26:19.000 Maybe there are some industrial trade agricultural schools in your area that are totally focused on lumber and logging and shit that I don't know about.

01:26:31.000 But as far as the rest of the world, education is a joke.

01:26:36.000 Well, yeah, no, like we've, we've kind of cycled into now logging's dead.

01:26:41.000 We've killed it.

01:26:42.000 It's fucked.

01:26:43.000 So, no, we're more construction anyways.

01:26:45.000 I just, I don't know.

01:26:47.000 It's fucked, man.

01:26:48.000 So annoying.

01:26:49.000 But thanks a lot.

01:26:50.000 All right.

01:26:50.000 Thanks, buddy.

01:26:51.000 I love Maddie.

01:26:52.000 Thank you.

01:26:52.000 You guys were sick.

01:26:53.000 Appreciate it.

01:26:55.000 What's so great about Maddie?

01:26:56.000 I don't understand people with the whole like, I love Maddie thing.

01:26:59.000 I think there's a little jelly.

01:27:00.000 There's a new flavor in town.

01:27:04.000 It seems redundant to say at the end of a call.

01:27:07.000 You had a question for Maddie, didn't you?

01:27:09.000 Yeah, it's a stupid question.

01:27:10.000 Who even cares?

01:27:12.000 We got to hear more about Maddie.

01:27:13.000 We're doing the mailbag.

01:27:14.000 Why are we focusing on Maddie questions?

01:27:17.000 Well, you did bring it up.

01:27:17.000 You said we got a question for Maddie.

01:27:19.000 I know.

01:27:19.000 It just seems dumb to mention.

01:27:22.000 Let's focus on other shit.

01:27:24.000 Maddie, Maddie, Maddie.

01:27:25.000 Okay, this is from John.

01:27:27.000 Maddie, what's your funniest or most positive memory while being incarcerated?

01:27:35.000 Funniest?

01:27:37.000 Or posit?

01:27:38.000 Funny or positive?

01:27:40.000 Yeah, those sound like two very different things.

01:27:42.000 Yeah, funny.

01:27:44.000 I mean, funny shit happened all the time.

01:27:50.000 Wow.

01:27:51.000 Well, there was the baby monster incident.

01:27:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:53.000 That's funny to the rest of us, but not to you.

01:27:57.000 How I got that monkey here.

01:27:58.000 Why don't you tell that story?

01:28:00.000 Well, somebody had stolen what they call a short eye book, which is, you know, like a Playboy or a penthouse or hustler.

01:28:07.000 You know, they call them short eye books because you only look at them for a short period of time.

01:28:12.000 I thought short eye meant pedophile.

01:28:13.000 No, short eye is, you know, a fuck book.

01:28:17.000 You want to go in your cell and relieve some tension.

01:28:21.000 So it's a short eye.

01:28:22.000 So someone actually came in and stole my book, one of the books that I had.

01:28:26.000 Now, you know, I was well-liked enough where I would leave my cell door open and I wouldn't have to worry about sneak these or anything like that.

01:28:34.000 And what's in your cell that you value?

01:28:37.000 I mean, you got your commissary and stuff like that.

01:28:39.000 Ramen noodles?

01:28:40.000 Yeah.

01:28:41.000 I mean, I was in a county jail at the time, and, you know, you had these bins like a tub with a lid on it.

01:28:49.000 You put all your stuff in there, your commissary, your hygiene products, your inmate clothing.

01:28:55.000 And then, you know, you'd have stuff like I used to keep my books and magazines.

01:29:00.000 Like, you used to have a little metal table and a metal chair.

01:29:03.000 Like, there were just two pieces of metal that came flat out of the wall.

01:29:07.000 Like, one was your seat and one was your desk.

01:29:10.000 So I would, like, put my magazines on either on the seat or on top of the desk or just under the floor underneath it.

01:29:16.000 But one day someone decided that they wanted a book.

01:29:21.000 And what was this book?

01:29:23.000 It was actually, I think it was a penthouse.

01:29:26.000 I'm going to buy you this for your next birthday.

01:29:29.000 Do you remember the edition?

01:29:31.000 It was crazy because there was one photo shoot in it where a girl had a fucking, either it was a Coke bottle or a Pepsi bottle, stuck up her ass reversed.

01:29:45.000 And it was a black and white photo shoot.

01:29:47.000 It was insane.

01:29:49.000 I'm googling it right now.

01:29:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:52.000 So, anyway, somebody.

01:29:54.000 Not easy to Google.

01:29:55.000 And then.

01:29:59.000 So that must be when Penthouse was coming to the end.

01:30:01.000 Yes, it was.

01:30:02.000 And they had to launch up.

01:30:03.000 Because I remember there'd be like pissing in Penthouse.

01:30:05.000 If I were pissing on you, that was in like 2001, maybe?

01:30:16.000 It was around there.

01:30:17.000 I believe it was 2001 because I remember I had to surrender on September 17th, and it was just after 9-11.

01:30:28.000 That incident.

01:30:30.000 Okay, so you got a black and white penthouse.

01:30:34.000 It was a penthouse.

01:30:34.000 I believe it.

01:30:35.000 It was a bottle up some chick's ass.

01:30:37.000 And didn't you say these, because they're grandfathered in.

01:30:40.000 You can't have new porn.

01:30:41.000 You can have old porn.

01:30:42.000 In federal prison, yeah, there's no porn.

01:30:44.000 If you have it, it's grand, like, you know, they're not going to take it on shakedowns or anything like that.

01:30:50.000 But no new magazines can come in that have nudity.

01:30:54.000 So these things are like at the Louvre.

01:30:57.000 Like they are laminated.

01:30:58.000 They're involved.

01:30:59.000 They're going to rent them out.

01:31:01.000 People will rent them.

01:31:02.000 And they have clear packing tape all over the pages because you don't get lamination machines in there.

01:31:09.000 But all of them are taped over so they don't rip.

01:31:13.000 Some of them are in three-ring binders because the magazine's been so torn up.

01:31:18.000 Oh, it's hilarious.

01:31:20.000 You're turning each page like this.

01:31:23.000 So someone went into your cell and stole your book.

01:31:25.000 Stole a book.

01:31:27.000 So I came back and I asked all of my close friends who would be able to just go in my cell and take it if they wanted to use it.

01:31:34.000 And if I wasn't available, say if it was in the yard or I was at work or wherever I was in the institution at the time, there's certain people that could go get it and be like, you know, oh, I got your book.

01:31:46.000 And I wouldn't mind.

01:31:47.000 Like, I would, you know, I was, like I said, I was a pretty well-liked person within the facilities I've been in through state prison, county jails, federal prison.

01:31:58.000 I've never had really beefs with other inmates like about stupid shit.

01:32:03.000 So, yeah, so I'm like, I ask all my close people who would go in there.

01:32:10.000 So then I walk into the day room.

01:32:12.000 And then this one particular block I was on.

01:32:15.000 It was, you had F1 North, you had F1 South.

01:32:18.000 And I was in F1 North at the time.

01:32:20.000 So I go in, and then the day room's in between what you have the officer's bubble where the officer sits.

01:32:28.000 And there's an officer at the beginning of the, like, it's just a long straight tier with just cells on each side this way.

01:32:35.000 And so I go in and I close the day room door.

01:32:39.000 And I literally go unplug the Spanish TV.

01:32:41.000 I unplug the English TV.

01:32:43.000 And I just start ripping into the room.

01:32:45.000 But wait a minute.

01:32:46.000 Didn't you also tuck your shirt in?

01:32:48.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:48.000 You tucked your shirt into your pants.

01:32:50.000 You tucked your pants into your socks.

01:32:52.000 You tied your shoes up tight.

01:32:53.000 You tied everything.

01:32:54.000 You lace up.

01:32:55.000 You're ready to throw it out.

01:32:56.000 Oh, yeah.

01:32:56.000 Because if someone's like, yeah, I got your fucking book, what are you going to do?

01:32:59.000 Well, then you got to handle your business.

01:33:01.000 Win, lose, or draw.

01:33:03.000 You know, you got to step up for yourself.

01:33:04.000 Because now, you're basically telling me that I don't give a fuck who you think you are, what you are.

01:33:09.000 I'm robbing you and you ain't doing a fucking thing about it.

01:33:13.000 That's a death sentence.

01:33:14.000 You have to be able to be prepared to go to distance or else you're just going to be a punk.

01:33:19.000 So you ripped out and unplugged every TV in the common room and then screamed, who's got my fucking book?

01:33:25.000 I'm going to kick the shit out of you.

01:33:27.000 Yes.

01:33:27.000 I said, whoever has it, I said, let me explain something to you.

01:33:30.000 I says, I don't care who has it.

01:33:33.000 I says, if you return it, just put it back to my cell and I'll drop it at that.

01:33:38.000 I go, but if I catch somebody with that book, I don't give a fuck who gave it to you.

01:33:44.000 I'm going to whoop your ass because you're in possession of it.

01:33:47.000 And then I said, then you can go back and kick whoever's ass who gave it to you.

01:33:52.000 Now, keep in mind, folks at home, that he's screaming this at the top of his lungs.

01:33:56.000 He's red as a tomato.

01:33:58.000 All this shit is tucked in.

01:34:00.000 I'm ready to go.

01:34:02.000 He looks like a paratrooper.

01:34:04.000 So my buddy Joey.

01:34:05.000 Tucked in.

01:34:06.000 We used to call him Joey Viggs.

01:34:09.000 He worked on what they call the outside crew.

01:34:12.000 He got to leave the actual jail for days and go do work, like road work or whatever.

01:34:16.000 I never could get those clearances.

01:34:19.000 So he comes back and he hears about the store and he starts pissing his pants.

01:34:24.000 So it's a weekend and we used to play Pinuckle to entertain, like on the weekends, we play cards just to kill time.

01:34:32.000 So we're playing a game of Pinuckle and he makes a crazy bid and I slare around.

01:34:38.000 I'm like, what the f- and he goes, Z, there you go again.

01:34:41.000 He goes, look at my little fucking baby monster over here.

01:34:44.000 So now when anything would go, when he would come back from doing the outside detail, he would always say, anybody see my little baby monster running around?

01:34:57.000 Anybody see my little baby monster?

01:34:59.000 You have a tattoo that you're now baby monster.

01:35:01.000 I have it on my red sheet.

01:35:01.000 You're known as baby monster.

01:35:04.000 Even if you, like, I could bring it in one day and show you, like, my, my, my rap sheet and everything.

01:35:09.000 And all my aliases, they have monster, baby monster.

01:35:15.000 That reminds me, by the way, Max and John still getting mail from all over the world.

01:35:22.000 They really appreciate it.

01:35:24.000 Mail means a lot, right?

01:35:26.000 Let me tell you something.

01:35:27.000 I can remember, you know, when I was in federal prison and I was in the club, and like every charter in the world would send you Christmas cards.

01:35:35.000 And there were times when I was getting literally like 50, 60 pieces of mail a day.

01:35:40.000 And people would get mad and be like, yo, man, let me get some of that mail.

01:35:43.000 They would not get mad, but, you know, everything, Odell, Odell, Odell, Odell.

01:35:49.000 Like, then he's, you know, it's not in any typical order.

01:35:52.000 It just comes in a bag.

01:35:53.000 He dumps it out.

01:35:54.000 No, it says you're not forgotten.

01:35:55.000 It means a lot.

01:35:56.000 It means a lot.

01:35:57.000 Can you pull up their...

01:35:58.000 There's nothing like, it's like Christmas every day when someone gets a piece of mail.

01:36:03.000 Can you pull up their addresses, Ryan?

01:36:05.000 Now, Mercedes, I understand, if you're not willing to commit to her innocence, I have, and I'll wait.

01:36:13.000 I'm 97% sure she's innocent, but I get it if you're reserved.

01:36:20.000 But with Max and John, they're clearly innocent.

01:36:22.000 They fought Antifa after Antifa picked a fight with him.

01:36:26.000 One thing, John and Max are very different guys.

01:36:29.000 John is a family man.

01:36:30.000 What he's doing now is he's making comics for his kids that tell these stories that are kind of red-pilled stories, but they're sort of graphic novels.

01:36:41.000 John's all about his kids and his family, and he's the guy who recently said, you know, one thing that's good about all this is that I've been through hell.

01:36:54.000 So now with my family, you know, if there's cancer or a kid gets arrested or there's some, you know, we go bankrupt, we get sued, whatever, we've already been through the worst we can go through.

01:37:03.000 So it's all gravy from here.

01:37:05.000 And I know my wife will stick by me.

01:37:07.000 So John's a family man.

01:37:09.000 He's very patriotic.

01:37:11.000 He's into the founding fathers.

01:37:13.000 These are his interests.

01:37:14.000 Economics are big with him.

01:37:16.000 He's a welder.

01:37:18.000 He cares about the fundamentals of this country.

01:37:20.000 He cares about his family.

01:37:23.000 Max is very different, although he has the same values.

01:37:26.000 Max is consumed with bodybuilding.

01:37:30.000 He's like fucking chugging peanut butter, trying to get protein into his system.

01:37:35.000 He doesn't want to talk about prison.

01:37:37.000 I don't think I've had much of a political discussion with him at all in the almost two years he's been there so far.

01:37:43.000 He's just focused on bodybuilding, basically.

01:37:46.000 We can get protein powders in his packages every month.

01:37:51.000 He can get protein powders?

01:37:53.000 I'm pretty sure.

01:37:54.000 I think we've had some trouble with that.

01:37:55.000 Okay.

01:37:56.000 Yeah.

01:37:57.000 I remember years ago, I think in the state, in New York State, you used to be able to get like creatine and protein powders, but it may have changed.

01:38:04.000 I think they've been refusing him protein powders.

01:38:07.000 Okay.

01:38:07.000 Because the diet is all shitty and carbon.

01:38:09.000 Oh, it's horrible.

01:38:10.000 To make you fat and not muscular, they don't want strong men in there.

01:38:15.000 You can get 30 pounds of food a month in New York State.

01:38:20.000 30 pounds, yeah.

01:38:21.000 You can get like 30 pounds.

01:38:22.000 Of any kind.

01:38:22.000 You can get hermically sealed chickens and hermetically sealed pickles.

01:38:25.000 Hermetically sealed chickens he could get.

01:38:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:28.000 Oh, that sounds amazing.

01:38:29.000 It's already cooked and it's hermetically sealed.

01:38:32.000 Also, when you go on Amazon, you can buy them anything on Amazon and they can get it.

01:38:38.000 Yeah.

01:38:38.000 I'll fucking pay you back if you buy them shit.

01:38:41.000 The money's irrelevant.

01:38:42.000 I used to get beef jerkies and pickles sent to me all the time.

01:38:45.000 Really?

01:38:46.000 Let's try to send Max beef jerky.

01:38:48.000 He needs protein.

01:38:49.000 He's getting fucking ripped.

01:38:51.000 The guy you see in that picture is a tiny child compared to who he is today.

01:38:55.000 Sam in octopus, anything in like aluminum foil packets.

01:38:59.000 The cans, you can send cans, but it kind of takes up weight in the package.

01:39:04.000 Oh, I see.

01:39:04.000 So you get like the tuna in the envelopes, so they're not as heavy as the cans.

01:39:12.000 Even if you send Max or John a fucking paragraph on a, and make sure your return address is on the actual letter.

01:39:19.000 Even if you send them that, it takes nothing out of your day.

01:39:21.000 It costs you a dollar, and you've changed their lives.

01:39:25.000 You've reminded them that they exist, that they're not forgotten, that they got fucked over.

01:39:30.000 It means the world to them.

01:39:32.000 I used to have friends literally right who didn't, they're not much writers.

01:39:36.000 They're like, hey, bro, just letting you know I'm thinking about you today.

01:39:41.000 That's great.

01:39:42.000 Yeah.

01:39:43.000 I've had like that written on a bar napkin.

01:39:47.000 Yeah.

01:39:51.000 All right, next call.

01:39:54.000 We got Mark.

01:39:58.000 Mark, you're on the line.

01:40:03.000 Hello.

01:40:04.000 Hello.

01:40:08.000 Hey, yeah, I got a question.

01:40:10.000 Out of one, two, and three, pick one.

01:40:13.000 I'm a big fan of two.

01:40:16.000 Big fan of two.

01:40:17.000 Okay, cool, great.

01:40:19.000 So you were talking about drywall hangers earlier, and you talk a lot about construction workers and stuff like that.

01:40:25.000 But I just wanted to give a shout out to the mechanics and stuff like that, because, you know, as far as flat rate work goes, it's along the same lines like he was talking earlier about like getting paid by the wall.

01:40:38.000 We get paid by the job.

01:40:40.000 And a lot of people don't understand that, especially customers.

01:40:45.000 But I mean, for example, you know, we'll charge 10 hours for a transmission job.

01:40:51.000 Now I've been working on Nissan's for like 10 years or so.

01:40:56.000 I can bang out a transmission in Ultima in like four hours.

01:41:01.000 But that's the time that it's taken me to learn how to do that.

01:41:06.000 You know what I mean?

01:41:07.000 The price doesn't change, but that's where we get involved in that aspect.

01:41:11.000 But, you know, that's where you get the hustle to get better at the trade.

01:41:15.000 And that's what I think a lot of people lose nowadays when they get involved in a trade like this where they don't have the hustle to try and get better.

01:41:25.000 That's the beauty of the design, where it says a transmission is a four-hour job.

01:41:30.000 A young guy goes, that sucks because it's going to take me eight hours.

01:41:34.000 And an experienced guy goes, that's awesome.

01:41:36.000 I can do it in no time.

01:41:38.000 In mechanic vernacular.

01:41:39.000 Well, I'm saying it pays 10 hours.

01:41:42.000 So like your average Joe on book time pays 10 hours.

01:41:45.000 I've gotten good enough over the past 10 years.

01:41:47.000 I can do them in four hours for that vehicle.

01:41:51.000 But, you know, that's where some customers will be like, well, that's ridiculous.

01:41:55.000 It pays four hours.

01:41:56.000 My car's done the next day.

01:41:57.000 It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:41:58.000 No, you're paying for the total labor.

01:42:01.000 That's book time.

01:42:02.000 That's what it takes traditionally.

01:42:04.000 And we get in arguments all the time with customers where it's like, well, I can do brakes in my driveway.

01:42:09.000 It's going to take me like, yeah, I have no big deal.

01:42:11.000 I do them in my house.

01:42:12.000 Okay.

01:42:13.000 Have fun.

01:42:13.000 Enjoy it.

01:42:14.000 Do it.

01:42:15.000 I'll knock it out in 30 minutes.

01:42:16.000 But if you want to do them in your driveway for all day in a case of beer, enjoy it.

01:42:21.000 But at the same time, the kids nowadays, they don't have the drive to try and get better.

01:42:26.000 We have a lack of people that want to work and do better and try and learn the trade.

01:42:31.000 All the young guys that I get now, I throw them a job and I'm like, you know, you might eat shit the first time, but the goal is eat shit as much as you can when you're younger and it's only going to make you better because that's what I did.

01:42:44.000 And I mean, I'm booming now.

01:42:45.000 It's great.

01:42:46.000 I mean, I eat shit forever and now I mean I rock and roll.

01:42:50.000 Well, can I give you a tip?

01:42:53.000 If you are fixing a transmission and you're taking out the cranks, the secret is to keep them as lubed as possible.

01:43:00.000 So as you change each crank, dip it in oil before you put it back and recalibrate the refribrator.

01:43:08.000 I'm taking the transmission out.

01:43:09.000 We got big problems.

01:43:11.000 I fucked up big time.

01:43:13.000 I pulled the crank out.

01:43:15.000 All right, thanks for that.

01:43:16.000 I didn't mean to say that, but I appreciate you.

01:43:19.000 What were you going to say, Maddie?

01:43:20.000 I was saying in the mechanic vernacular, when he says, oh, they're book hours.

01:43:26.000 Each job has a certain amount of time allotted to it that the dealership's going to charge.

01:43:31.000 Like you said, you know, book time or book hours is the job takes 10 hours.

01:43:37.000 Even though he can knock it out in four.

01:43:39.000 But then he's going to go on to another job, so he's getting paid per job.

01:43:42.000 So if he knocks out that transmission job, it's almost like the free market in a little brochure.

01:43:49.000 And it says, this job is 10 hours.

01:43:51.000 If you're awesome, then you deserve more money.

01:43:56.000 That means he can do more jobs in the day.

01:43:58.000 It's not going to take him all day to do.

01:44:01.000 I love to watch car shows, but I watch them as a chick, and I just go like, you're a fucking amazing dude.

01:44:08.000 What is this?

01:44:09.000 Especially graveyard cars.

01:44:12.000 That dude is a fucking magician.

01:44:15.000 And he knows everything there is to know about Mopars.

01:44:18.000 He'll have sprinkles.

01:44:19.000 He literally knows, he has the sprinkles.

01:44:21.000 He literally knows everything there is to know about Mopars, and I'm not exaggerating.

01:44:25.000 And I've noticed even on those shows, though, they always go, oh, a transmission?

01:44:29.000 Yeah, don't even bother.

01:44:31.000 Send it out to be fixed.

01:44:32.000 It's not worth it.

01:44:33.000 So if this guy's fixing transmissions, he's at the top of the game.

01:44:37.000 Like he works for a Nissan dealership.

01:44:41.000 Because of the car.

01:44:42.000 He's so familiar with that particular transmission.

01:44:45.000 Dude, Graveyard, that guy right there with the goatee, he's a fucking freak.

01:44:52.000 He knows...

01:44:53.000 I know it sounds exaggerating to say he knows everything about Mopars.

01:44:57.000 He literally does.

01:44:59.000 I'll suck a dick for everything he doesn't know about Mopars.

01:45:05.000 But it better be a chick's dick.

01:45:07.000 Exactly.

01:45:08.000 Because I'm already regretting that.

01:45:12.000 I'm already regretting the esoteric trivia that's got me fucking on my knees.

01:45:18.000 Turn it up.

01:45:20.000 Cornet, but I want it all red.

01:45:22.000 Would that still be a factory car and not custom?

01:45:25.000 Custom is something that's done after the manufacturer has completed.

01:45:28.000 Oh, they always want to get the factory parts, right?

01:45:31.000 And there's a gray area where they mimic the factory.

01:45:34.000 So they don't have the right tube, whatever it is, pipe, whatever, fucking hose.

01:45:40.000 So they'll get a fake one, but then they'll spray paint the same serial number on it to totally mimic the original hose.

01:45:49.000 Repop.

01:45:51.000 Reproduction.

01:45:52.000 And I watched it with my youngest boy, and he likes it.

01:45:56.000 So that's good news.

01:45:58.000 The bad news is, by the pool the other day, he said, I know what you're capable of, and it terrifies me.

01:46:08.000 So graveyard cars, capable of, terrifies me.

01:46:11.000 We're not sure where he's going.

01:46:13.000 But we hope it's not to the West Village.

01:46:16.000 Or Hell's Kitchen, actually, these days.

01:46:22.000 They actually make quite a few of those.

01:46:23.000 But you don't know if this car is special ordered like that.

01:46:25.000 He knows everything.

01:46:27.000 Can you actually work?

01:46:28.000 Who are you talking to?

01:46:30.000 Well, I just see you kind of walking around over there.

01:46:33.000 Would I consider Mark to be a motivator to people?

01:46:36.000 No, not really.

01:46:37.000 No.

01:46:39.000 Doesn't seem to work on me.

01:46:41.000 That's a very boring episode.

01:46:43.000 The guy's very exciting.

01:46:45.000 He's very charming.

01:46:46.000 He's a great show host.

01:46:48.000 I'm gay for him.

01:46:49.000 He rules.

01:46:50.000 All right.

01:46:51.000 Well, that's everything that could be said has been said about that guy.

01:46:55.000 That was the pilot.

01:46:55.000 Never before seen pilot.

01:46:57.000 Oh, you got to see.

01:46:58.000 Like, he does whole Ricky Gervais parodies.

01:47:01.000 Like, he's in his own now.

01:47:04.000 But unfortunately, his daughter, he wants his daughter to take over the shop.

01:47:06.000 He's getting old.

01:47:07.000 He's probably like 65.

01:47:09.000 And he wants his daughter to take over the shop.

01:47:11.000 He has the sprinkles.

01:47:13.000 No one else does.

01:47:14.000 Dude, your daughter's not taking over the shop.

01:47:17.000 It's not happening ever.

01:47:20.000 Unless he's had someone under his wing.

01:47:22.000 And she's under his wing.

01:47:24.000 She's got the college try.

01:47:26.000 She's trying.

01:47:27.000 But it's like, and he's only Mopars.

01:47:30.000 But like, if you were to stack the books of information that are in his head, they would fill the studio.

01:47:36.000 And I'm not exaggerating.

01:47:38.000 Like 40 full encyclopedias.

01:47:41.000 And she's just going to pick that up.

01:47:43.000 He's probably forgotten more than she'll ever know.

01:47:46.000 Yes.

01:47:47.000 Yes.

01:47:50.000 Okay.

01:47:50.000 We got Wit on the line.

01:47:52.000 She's hot, too.

01:47:55.000 Wit, you're on the line.

01:47:58.000 What's up?

01:48:00.000 Gab.

01:48:04.000 You sound drunker on the phone than you do on the mic.

01:48:08.000 Well, I am drunk.

01:48:09.000 I got it.

01:48:12.000 Number one, when are you moving to Nashville?

01:48:14.000 And two, who's this fat guy on your show?

01:48:18.000 That's Maddie Odell.

01:48:19.000 That's me.

01:48:19.000 My name is Russ.

01:48:20.000 Oh.

01:48:21.000 We've introduced him a couple of times.

01:48:24.000 And I'm actually going to rent an RV, I think, and drive down there in a couple weeks and just see, like, you know what I keep hearing about Nashville and stuff is like, if you're from New York, you move down there, you have a cowboy hat on,

01:48:39.000 your shirt says Trump.

01:48:41.000 They find out you're from New York and they go, get the fuck out of here.

01:48:46.000 We hate you.

01:48:47.000 I don't know about that, man.

01:48:49.000 I don't know about that.

01:48:50.000 It depends on where you are, but hey, when you're down here, you should come to our boxing gym.

01:48:55.000 What's it called?

01:48:58.000 Music City Boxing.

01:48:59.000 It's not our gym.

01:49:00.000 It's the gym we go to.

01:49:01.000 Music City Boxing.

01:49:03.000 I know.

01:49:04.000 I'd love to.

01:49:05.000 I actually packed in the car my kids' boxing gloves and my boxing gloves because I thought when we're down there, it'll be fun to work out at various clubs.

01:49:14.000 Music City?

01:49:16.000 Well, come.

01:49:17.000 Music City Boxing.

01:49:19.000 They're the home gym of Caleb Plant.

01:49:24.000 A what?

01:49:25.000 Who's like a midweight champion?

01:49:27.000 Caleb Plant, who's like a midweight champion guy.

01:49:30.000 I don't know.

01:49:31.000 We just started boxing like two weeks ago.

01:49:34.000 Oh, okay.

01:49:34.000 I'm looking it up now.

01:49:35.000 Music City Boxing.

01:49:37.000 Established 2013.

01:49:38.000 Yeah.

01:49:39.000 It looks great.

01:49:40.000 Let's spar.

01:49:42.000 Yeah, it's great.

01:49:44.000 All right.

01:49:44.000 Let's fight.

01:49:45.000 Fuck it.

01:49:45.000 Let's do it.

01:49:47.000 Let's do it.

01:49:49.000 My only requirement is you drink all night the night before.

01:49:54.000 And I'll go to bed at 9 p.m.

01:49:58.000 Yeah, let's do it.

01:49:59.000 Come down.

01:50:01.000 All right, man.

01:50:01.000 Email.

01:50:02.000 Ryan, we love you.

01:50:03.000 Did you get married, Ryan?

01:50:05.000 Yeah.

01:50:07.000 I was in my wife earlier.

01:50:07.000 The ceremony is tomorrow, but we have proposed.

01:50:11.000 Really?

01:50:12.000 Yeah, you know how it works.

01:50:15.000 He did it the normal way.

01:50:16.000 You get a girl pretty.

01:50:18.000 You break up with a girl, you get back together, you get her pregnant, you give her a ring, you propose to her, then you get married.

01:50:28.000 And I'm going to meet her eventually, too.

01:50:30.000 And then we're going to bone probably like in a year or so.

01:50:32.000 Yeah.

01:50:33.000 All right.

01:50:34.000 Thanks for calling.

01:50:35.000 Yeah.

01:50:35.000 Yo, kiss on your first question.

01:50:37.000 I faded him.

01:50:38.000 But that was very nice.

01:50:39.000 Thank you, sir.

01:50:40.000 Shit's quiet for him.

01:50:42.000 His shit's increasingly quiet for him.

01:50:45.000 It's literally quiet.

01:50:48.000 Walker is on the line.

01:50:52.000 Hey, Bellas.

01:50:54.000 Yo.

01:50:58.000 Hey, I wanted to talk about the movie Zola.

01:51:01.000 Are you guys familiar?

01:51:03.000 Could you be more specific?

01:51:04.000 There's many movies in the world.

01:51:06.000 Zola.

01:51:07.000 Oh, Zola.

01:51:08.000 Zola, the OLA, the new A24 movie.

01:51:12.000 Wait, I was reading something about that.

01:51:13.000 Didn't one of the guys become trans or something?

01:51:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:20.000 One of the guys in it just came out as trans.

01:51:24.000 Okay, I could see that.

01:51:26.000 And he looks fucking absurd.

01:51:31.000 I wonder if it's the white dude from the movie who's a complete head case.

01:51:35.000 Could be him, but the reason I bring that up is I saw it in theaters, and there were two scenes that they snuck in there on the slide that felt kind of dubious that had absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

01:51:49.000 So are you familiar with the story?

01:51:51.000 No.

01:51:52.000 Zola?

01:51:53.000 No.

01:51:53.000 Okay, so like, yeah, so this black chick meets a white chick, and the next day they go down to Florida to do some stripping, and it turns out that the white chick has the black pimp that's trying to pip out the white girl and the black girl.

01:52:06.000 And it's, I mean, it came from a viral Twitter story.

01:52:11.000 So if you got time, read the Twitter story.

01:52:13.000 But I went and saw the movie because I read the Twitter story.

01:52:16.000 But they stuck in two scenes.

01:52:18.000 One of them, as they're driving down to Florida, they do like 20 seconds of an establishing shot showing a rebel flag waving in the air.

01:52:27.000 So like if you're not familiar with the story, you're like, oh my God, this black girl's going down to the racist part of the country.

01:52:34.000 You know, there must be some terrible white people down here.

01:52:38.000 And then all the criminals are black people the entire time.

01:52:40.000 So it's like, why did you guys sneak in the 15 seconds of a rebel flag?

01:52:44.000 Yeah, and white trash people and black trash people, they don't fucking care about the rebel flag.

01:52:51.000 It doesn't keep them up at night.

01:52:53.000 That's a rich middle class obsession.

01:52:58.000 It's not something that strippers.

01:53:00.000 You don't see a lot of strippers crying themselves to sleep at night over a fucking rebel flag.

01:53:06.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:53:07.000 So they like sneak it in there.

01:53:08.000 So you're going to clutch your pearls.

01:53:10.000 Like, oh my God, there's racists down here.

01:53:12.000 They're going to racistville USA.

01:53:14.000 So that was one scene that they just snuck in there.

01:53:17.000 And then the second one, so while the two girls are being driven around and pimped out, or attempted to be pimped out, they drive past the scene where these police have pulled some people over.

01:53:29.000 I can't remember if I only saw the movie once.

01:53:30.000 I don't know if you guys can pull the clips since it's relatively new, but there's like a police brutality scene where it's like, oh my gosh, we're here in Florida and there's some police brutality.

01:53:40.000 Oh my gosh, it's an innocent guy while we're looking out of the window of a car that's a pimp and two prostitutes.

01:53:48.000 It's like, oh my gosh, that guy didn't commit a crime.

01:53:50.000 Let's go back to them.

01:53:52.000 While we're rooting for the prostitutes.

01:53:54.000 How dare they pull him over?

01:53:56.000 What's he ever done wrong besides had sex slaves?

01:53:59.000 Yeah, that's like that Jay-Z song, 99 Problems with a Bitch Ain't One, which is a direct ripoff of Iced T. It's an Iced T song that he just stole.

01:54:08.000 But in it, he's like, yo, the fucking cops are pulling me over.

01:54:12.000 And you're like, the song before, you were bragging about how you're the biggest crack dealer in the world.

01:54:18.000 It sounds like the cops got the right guy.

01:54:21.000 Yeah, it sounds like it was some pretty good foreshadowing for the cops.

01:54:24.000 Yeah, good work.

01:54:25.000 Or NWA, where they're like, motherfucker got a bed because I'm brown.

01:54:29.000 And then they also go, I never should have been let out the penitentiary.

01:54:33.000 Oh, okay, so we got the right guy.

01:54:36.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:54:37.000 And one more thing.

01:54:37.000 Fuck jam bands.

01:54:38.000 It's all glorified elevator music that fucking sucks.

01:54:41.000 So fuck widespread panic, fuck fish, and fuck the grateful fucking dead.

01:54:45.000 Fuck the grateful dead.

01:54:46.000 We're grateful they're dead.

01:54:47.000 Thanks for calling.

01:54:49.000 Yeah, the guy I'm looking up, talking about is called Tommy Dorfman, and he's transgender.

01:54:55.000 She was a Juno star?

01:54:57.000 No, she's awesome, though.

01:54:59.000 Dude, I'm obsessed with her.

01:55:00.000 Elliot Page, I think, is totally regretting cutting her tits off.

01:55:06.000 And she's on that Oprah interview where she just cries her eyes out.

01:55:09.000 Yeah, she was on the show the other day.

01:55:11.000 She can't talk about anything else.

01:55:13.000 We've been banking so many holiday shows, I can't remember what's real and what's not.

01:55:17.000 But yeah, she destroyed herself.

01:55:20.000 But this fucking, this is just a homo who likes wearing dresses, like them all.

01:55:26.000 This is Daily Mail.

01:55:27.000 Look up like 13 Reasons Why star Tommy Dorf.

01:55:31.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:55:34.000 Like, that's just a gay guy in a dress.

01:55:36.000 He's wearing a dress.

01:55:37.000 You're not coming out of shit.

01:55:39.000 Just a cross-dresser.

01:55:40.000 You're just a cross-dresser.

01:55:41.000 You're just a sweet transvestite.

01:55:45.000 Nike Hara.

01:55:46.000 How am I supposed to not laugh at that?

01:55:47.000 You got to see the Daily Mail, though.

01:55:48.000 They have way more pictures of him.

01:55:50.000 And you're just like, homos like to wear dresses and high-heeled shoes.

01:55:54.000 We've seen it a million times.

01:55:56.000 But is he still heterosexual?

01:56:00.000 No.

01:56:01.000 He's a raging fag.

01:56:02.000 And I don't even have to look that up.

01:56:04.000 I just know, I can just assume that.

01:56:07.000 But like, this whole, like, homos have been wearing dresses since homos.

01:56:13.000 So it's not like you go, oh, he's not a guy anymore.

01:56:17.000 Look at him.

01:56:18.000 I like how they get lazy, too.

01:56:20.000 And just wear, like, sneakers.

01:56:22.000 How about the outfit of his boyfriend there?

01:56:24.000 A weird Velour fishing hat, your dad's fucking...

01:56:29.000 Your dad cleaning out the garage t-shirt.

01:56:32.000 And then velour pants with black clogs.

01:56:35.000 And of course, they both need water at all times.

01:56:37.000 They have to be heavily hydrated.

01:56:40.000 What the fuck?

01:56:43.000 That's...

01:56:44.000 I mean, pretending that's a woman is ridiculous.

01:56:49.000 Yeah, look, Zola.

01:56:50.000 That's the same thing.

01:56:51.000 Let me wear black stocks.

01:56:52.000 So he must be in Zola.

01:56:54.000 Or maybe he was there?

01:56:55.000 Wait, go back.

01:56:56.000 No, he was in Zola's star.

01:56:57.000 He was in the movie.

01:56:59.000 As what?

01:57:00.000 A super hot chick?

01:57:03.000 Maybe before.

01:57:05.000 I gotta look that up now.

01:57:07.000 Tommy Dorf.

01:57:08.000 You know the girl you were beating off to in Zola?

01:57:10.000 It was a dude.

01:57:12.000 No.

01:57:13.000 No way.

01:57:13.000 This was a dude?

01:57:15.000 Oh, no.

01:57:16.000 What the fuck?

01:57:17.000 Get out of here.

01:57:18.000 She's gonna fucking class your picture.

01:57:20.000 I busted her not to that hot chick.

01:57:26.000 Wait a second.

01:57:27.000 You better be kidding.

01:57:31.000 So wait.

01:57:33.000 A24 Zola will be available to rented home.

01:57:35.000 Maybe that should be another movie we watch.

01:57:40.000 Oh, yeah, silly, piss.

01:57:42.000 Okay, say one sentence that's normal and don't cry.

01:57:45.000 I mean, seeing people, of course, too, but really purposefully was probably the first time in my life where I really felt okay and comfortable alone.

01:57:56.000 It used to just be incredibly difficult for me to even just sort of sit with myself.

01:58:05.000 And this was a time where that was possible.

01:58:07.000 Well, you seem real comfortable now.

01:58:09.000 Really relax and let my body relax.

01:58:12.000 I think I realized getting to that space and getting surrounded by nature more, it almost was like steps into relaxation.

01:58:20.000 Don't you think her friends, like when they hang out with her, they just try to avoid asking how she is?

01:58:26.000 Like, so how are you?

01:58:27.000 It is casual.

01:58:28.000 She's like, what do you do that?

01:58:29.000 What do you do?

01:58:30.000 Because it's two hours of your life gone.

01:58:34.000 I realize that pizza makes me feel like a woman.

01:58:38.000 A number two pencil.

01:58:39.000 These things are not quite as soft as HPs.

01:58:41.000 What do we have in high school with this?

01:58:42.000 It looks like somebody on acid where you're trying not to give them a bad trip.

01:58:46.000 That's who she is.

01:58:47.000 She's the person about to have a bad trip and you want to steer her away.

01:58:51.000 But she wants it because it's all about her.

01:58:53.000 Yeah, she can't wait for you to ask her about.

01:58:55.000 We used to have a rule with mushrooms and acid where it's like, if you start bad tripping, you got to go.

01:59:02.000 You're banished from the reservation.

01:59:04.000 We had a rule that we would have one sober friend.

01:59:06.000 Oh, that's a good idea.

01:59:09.000 I wouldn't say completely sober because he was smoking, wheat, and drinking all night, but he wasn't tripping.

01:59:15.000 So he would have to, what, deal with the bad tripper?

01:59:18.000 In case any of us started to go out, get out there.

01:59:23.000 Do you bad trip on meth?

01:59:26.000 You can after a certain amount of time, yeah.

01:59:29.000 I mean, shadow people are normal.

01:59:31.000 Hallucinations.

01:59:32.000 Right.

01:59:33.000 After, you know.

01:59:34.000 But like, bad trips on mushrooms and acid.

01:59:36.000 No, my whole life is a lie.

01:59:38.000 I want to die.

01:59:39.000 I'm dying right now.

01:59:40.000 Time doesn't exist.

01:59:42.000 I used to love doing acid.

01:59:44.000 I used to get the only type of anxiety.

01:59:47.000 Sorry, Ryan.

01:59:48.000 You ever had a bad trip on acid?

01:59:52.000 I wouldn't say they were terrible bad trips.

01:59:54.000 Like one time I was.

01:59:55.000 Well, then it wasn't a brief.

01:59:56.000 I thought I was dirty laundry.

01:59:58.000 You thought I was a bad trip?

01:59:58.000 I was like laying in the bathroom with like towels and stuff on me and people would come to the doorway and they're like, what are you doing?

02:00:05.000 I'm like, just hanging out like dirty laundry.

02:00:09.000 True story.

02:00:11.000 And then one time I got into a fight with a door jam.

02:00:14.000 Like I was walking through the doorway and I bumped into it and I started grabbing it and was like choking it and like choking.

02:00:20.000 Choking what?

02:00:20.000 The door?

02:00:21.000 The door.

02:00:21.000 Like the door jam.

02:00:22.000 Yeah.

02:00:23.000 Oh, it was terrible.

02:00:24.000 But it was a good time.

02:00:26.000 What did I interrupt there, Ryan?

02:00:28.000 This is just Maddie's theme song.

02:00:31.000 Dirty laundry.

02:00:32.000 I almost cut off a cop's thumb on ass at one time.

02:00:36.000 What?

02:00:37.000 Yeah.

02:00:38.000 Because it was actually one of the few times I was hanging out with my younger brother.

02:00:42.000 And this cop that grew up in my neighborhood was with us.

02:00:46.000 And we were in the kitchen playing around with knives.

02:00:48.000 And I went to slam the knife down.

02:00:50.000 And he stuck his hand because he thought I was going to cut my brother's finger off.

02:00:55.000 And I cut so deep into the top of his thumb.

02:00:59.000 Oh, terrible.

02:01:02.000 So he had to go get stitches.

02:01:03.000 Oh, yeah, he got stitched up.

02:01:06.000 But he wasn't tripping because he was on the job.

02:01:08.000 Cop, yeah.

02:01:09.000 Yeah, every time I tell cops I know you, they go, he's a really bad dude.

02:01:14.000 It's not good.

02:01:15.000 On paper, I look like a monster.

02:01:17.000 A little monster.

02:01:19.000 Well, maybe that paper's correct.

02:01:24.000 Maybe that paper nailed it.

02:01:26.000 Nailed it?

02:01:27.000 No, we did mushrooms once on Halloween, and it was a crazy night, because ding-dong, the bell would ring, and the host would go, you.

02:01:39.000 And you'd have to answer the door where there'd be literally a bee and literally a vampire and a dad.

02:01:45.000 And they weren't dressed up, they were their costumes.

02:01:48.000 But just like the dirty laundry, there was like a little mud room by the garage where about four dudes had ended up, I don't know, stuck there.

02:01:57.000 Yeah.

02:01:57.000 And they were on the ground just like going, yeah!

02:02:00.000 It was sort of like that, the compactor room in Star Wars where they're in the garbage, and they were all one blob.

02:02:06.000 I wasn't part of it.

02:02:08.000 It was Paul McCarthy, Eric deGrasse, a couple other dudes.

02:02:11.000 And we would open it up and they'd all be like, yeah!

02:02:16.000 And we would throw like little balls of bread to feed them.

02:02:21.000 Feed the fish.

02:02:23.000 And they would go, yeah, and then we would close it again.

02:02:26.000 They weren't locked in.

02:02:27.000 They could leave whenever they wanted.

02:02:30.000 Literally, the threshold of the bathroom door.

02:02:33.000 They would not come in.

02:02:36.000 And then Eric put on a monster mask.

02:02:38.000 Oh, Jeff.

02:02:39.000 And he came downstairs to scare us.

02:02:41.000 And we all went, what are you doing?

02:02:42.000 And then he got super depressed that his monster mask thing flopped.

02:02:47.000 And he just took it off and he sat on the couch.

02:02:49.000 And we're like, I don't know.

02:02:50.000 It was a good try, man.

02:02:52.000 It's a scary mask.

02:02:53.000 Oh, Jeffrey.

02:02:58.000 But bad trips, they're like your family's dying of cancer.

02:03:02.000 I mean, it's the apocalypse.

02:03:05.000 Yeah, I've never really had a terrible trip.

02:03:06.000 The best advice I ever had with bad trips is just wait it out.

02:03:10.000 It can't go.

02:03:11.000 Yeah.

02:03:11.000 It can't go three years.

02:03:13.000 It's going to go like six hours maximum.

02:03:16.000 The weirdest part for me whenever I trip was at the end, like, all right, am I sane again?

02:03:22.000 Or am I still tripping?

02:03:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:03:25.000 Did you ever get acid or any hallucinogens in prison?

02:03:30.000 No, the only drugs I ever, I mean, people would get, like heroin and meth.

02:03:34.000 and I did coke Twice in a county jail and I did it once in federal prison and I sat there and I said why the fuck did I do this?

02:03:44.000 Now I'm just alert in myself.

02:03:45.000 Yeah, I wanted to shoot through the wall Like what am I gonna do?

02:03:49.000 So how did they coke get it up someone's ass I guess yeah, you know sneaking in on a visit oh yeah coke's a social drug if you're not partying yeah with beer and everything what are we doing like I could I mean it'd be tough I mean I but listen I loved crystal meth that was my drug of choice um no thank you I would I would I could do it and just be normal but like still being in prison you'd be like why yeah my problem with

02:04:50.000 a man named Dominic Dominic hey what's up guys hey man what's going on hey I just actually wanted to ask you what is the email address where I can send something to the show so that's uh uh the GML mailbag and the address is uh mailbag all one word m-a-i-l not m-a-l-e mailbag at censored.tv okay so

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 23, 2021

GOML LIVE #109 - MATTY JAMBOREE

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