Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #11

00:01:59.000 at the edge of the day Hi, folks.

00:02:12.000 Welcome to FreeSpeech.tv, where Ryan Katsu-Rivera shows the world how organized and talented he is.

00:02:21.000 Right now, the monitor isn't on.

00:02:23.000 Is this recording, Ryan?

00:02:25.000 So people do see something.

00:02:25.000 Yes.

00:02:28.000 But I don't have a monitor.

00:02:30.000 I don't really need a monitor.

00:02:31.000 It's not that important.

00:02:32.000 Although, if we're showing clips that I have to read from, then that's not good.

00:02:38.000 Let's help Ryan out with his job.

00:02:40.000 Are you turning off and on the monitor?

00:02:43.000 No, I haven't tried that yet.

00:02:45.000 I have a feeling it's on the monitor.

00:02:46.000 But you don't have the remote to the monitor.

00:02:48.000 Oh, that's on the floor?

00:02:50.000 Did you check the chords?

00:02:52.000 This makes for a fun show.

00:02:54.000 This is our weekly vidcast of the podcast.

00:02:59.000 It's slightly atypical of other shows.

00:03:02.000 My monitor's on the desk, for example.

00:03:04.000 That's one little example.

00:03:06.000 But what is typical of the show is there's a major fuck-up at the beginning.

00:03:10.000 That's sort of become our trademark here at free speech.tv.

00:03:15.000 If you're listening to this just as a podcast, then you'll notice some things are missing when we talk about videos.

00:03:24.000 You won't see videos.

00:03:25.000 You can't see what's going on right now, for example.

00:03:28.000 And just to tell you what's going on right now, Ryan just keeps trying the same thing again and again and again and again.

00:03:34.000 Oh.

00:03:37.000 So he got the signal, and then because his brain and his fingers are about four seconds apart, after it worked, he'd already sent the signal to the fingers to turn it off.

00:03:49.000 So he turned it off.

00:03:50.000 All right, now I have a monitor.

00:03:52.000 And now if we pull up a tweet or something, I can read it.

00:03:56.000 I also in important news, I had to print out my notes in red because we're out of ink.

00:04:07.000 And I bought more on Amazon.

00:04:09.000 And it's going to take a week and a half.

00:04:12.000 What the fuck is going on with this ink racket in this country?

00:04:15.000 It is the biggest scam since exterminators.

00:04:19.000 Exterminators are total and utter bullshit.

00:04:22.000 Yo, what happens is they take this food packet and they take it back to the hive.

00:04:28.000 They take it back to the queen and then she eats it and then the whole thing is dead.

00:04:33.000 Bullshit.

00:04:35.000 I don't believe in exterminators, especially in the land of corruption that is called New York City.

00:04:41.000 I remember I had an apartment on 9th Street and the landlord hated us.

00:04:46.000 My God, I can almost remember his name.

00:04:48.000 Greek name.

00:04:50.000 His family owned a bunch of places all over the East Village.

00:04:55.000 And his parents hated us because they lived below us.

00:04:59.000 And my lady was single at the time, single New Yorkers, and a lot of the ladies were wearing high-heeled shoes.

00:05:07.000 Let me just take a moment to enjoy that.

00:05:10.000 High-heeled shoes were everywhere.

00:05:12.000 My wife and all her friends were all wearing stilettos all the motherfucking time.

00:05:16.000 That's one of the best things about New York City.

00:05:18.000 I noticed it the other day.

00:05:20.000 A friend had a birthday party, and the fashion now is like these 1950s Betty Page high-heeled shoes with like stilettos, like skinny, skinny, skinny, skinny, skinny spikes.

00:05:31.000 You know, the heel part.

00:05:32.000 And then the toe is kind of pointy and covered.

00:05:36.000 Anyway, they hated that.

00:05:37.000 And they demanded we have carpets.

00:05:39.000 Apparently there's some New York law where you have to have carpets.

00:05:41.000 Anyway, to punish us, he would send the Exterminator by at about 5.30 in the morning just to wake us up, piss us off.

00:05:49.000 But we were still partying, dude.

00:05:52.000 So it didn't work.

00:05:53.000 I was kind of wasted, I'll admit.

00:05:55.000 And some guy would come in and he would just put paste on the hinges of our kitchen cupboards.

00:06:02.000 Just a little tiny little...

00:06:06.000 Because if there's one thing that roaches love to lick, it's hinges.

00:06:10.000 What a pile of shit.

00:06:12.000 And I said, can I get a copy of the receipt?

00:06:14.000 He goes, oh, no, I got to give that to the landlord.

00:06:15.000 Okay, well, then I'll just take a picture of it.

00:06:19.000 Kramer?

00:06:20.000 It's a name like Kramer.

00:06:22.000 Anyway.

00:06:24.000 Total and utter horseshit.

00:06:26.000 What a fucking scam.

00:06:27.000 If you don't want rats or roaches in your apartment, Then make sure there's no food around.

00:06:32.000 Make sure it's spotless and you won't have bugs.

00:06:35.000 I had a guy up in the burbs the other day saying, Hey, we're bombing a house over here to deal with an infestation.

00:06:43.000 And just to avoid them migrating, we could do your place too.

00:06:48.000 There's an opening because someone canceled.

00:06:51.000 So, like lie upon lie upon lie upon lie.

00:06:55.000 You're in the suburbs and you're quote unquote bombing a house.

00:07:00.000 What's going on over there?

00:07:01.000 Roaches.

00:07:03.000 You see a roach and you start scratching and jumping up and down?

00:07:06.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:07.000 Big time.

00:07:09.000 You are so weak.

00:07:10.000 You know, I know an exterminator.

00:07:12.000 You have some rotten cream and you're in the toilet for the duration of the morning.

00:07:16.000 It made my stomach really early.

00:07:18.000 Oh, you're Tom-Tom.

00:07:19.000 Plus, I think the beers I have are skunked.

00:07:22.000 Skunked?

00:07:23.000 You mean my beers?

00:07:24.000 Yeah, but.

00:07:25.000 Did you drink my beers?

00:07:26.000 I had two.

00:07:27.000 That's 50% of the beers I brought to the studio.

00:07:29.000 No, you brought six.

00:07:34.000 It was one third.

00:07:34.000 The beer was not skunked.

00:07:36.000 I just bought those beers.

00:07:37.000 Beer has to be around for years before it's fucking skunked.

00:07:40.000 Years?

00:07:41.000 Yes.

00:07:42.000 You'll probably have one skunked beer in your entire life.

00:07:44.000 I've had one.

00:07:45.000 I've had one.

00:07:46.000 I definitely have had one.

00:07:49.000 You know an Exterminator?

00:07:50.000 Yeah, Larry is a.

00:07:52.000 Larry believes in his own job.

00:07:52.000 Larry.

00:07:54.000 He's, it's like, I want them just to admit that it's a lie.

00:07:58.000 No, I don't think it is a lie.

00:08:00.000 Because he went to schools and he had big contracts for warehouse.

00:08:04.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:05.000 Then it's real.

00:08:06.000 And he fixed, like, it was raining roaches and he was, he's like, I could bring you some places, man.

00:08:10.000 I'll tell you.

00:08:11.000 That's how he talks.

00:08:12.000 So he's been around lots of roaches.

00:08:12.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:14.000 He took a class and he got big contracts.

00:08:16.000 Ergo, exterminators are real.

00:08:18.000 It's a real profession.

00:08:20.000 Well, they really kill the insects.

00:08:22.000 They have nothing to do with your infestation.

00:08:22.000 No, they don't.

00:08:24.000 Your infestation does not go away.

00:08:27.000 Well, you got to have maintenance.

00:08:28.000 But it drastically, you know.

00:08:30.000 Here's the only maintenance.

00:08:31.000 Make sure there's no foodstuffs for them to eat.

00:08:35.000 Oh, I'm not finished with the original story.

00:08:37.000 So the notion is that they bomb some local suburban house, which, by the way, the suburbs, they don't have roaches.

00:08:44.000 They'll occasionally have mice.

00:08:44.000 They don't have rats.

00:08:46.000 The idea that there's this flood, what do they do?

00:08:48.000 Pack little suitcases?

00:08:50.000 This flood of mice?

00:08:51.000 And then go to the next house?

00:08:52.000 What?

00:08:54.000 Are you stupid?

00:08:55.000 Do you think I'm going to fall for that?

00:08:56.000 And then the whole, there was a cancellation.

00:08:59.000 Oh, really?

00:08:59.000 I wonder why?

00:09:00.000 They couldn't leave the keys under the rug for you to do your stupid roach bombing?

00:09:05.000 And then he can come and do my place.

00:09:09.000 But I digress.

00:09:11.000 We haven't discussed your song choice.

00:09:13.000 This week was Ryan's Song Choices.

00:09:15.000 The shortest week of the...

00:09:21.000 Yep.

00:09:22.000 We're not doing a show tomorrow.

00:09:23.000 Well, it was racist.

00:09:24.000 Black History Month is the shortest month of the year.

00:09:27.000 And the Puerto Ricans Music Choice Month, he gets what?

00:09:27.000 That's right.

00:09:31.000 Two?

00:09:31.000 One?

00:09:32.000 Three?

00:09:33.000 Three.

00:09:34.000 And one of them was good.

00:09:34.000 Three.

00:09:36.000 And you cheated.

00:09:37.000 Because you said, oh, yeah, you think my taste of music sucks.

00:09:40.000 I guess I'll play one of my typical jams I like, ACDC.

00:09:43.000 It's one of my favorite bands.

00:09:44.000 I have the guitar that Angus Young has.

00:09:46.000 I learned all the catalog, basically.

00:09:48.000 What's the guitar that Angus Young has?

00:09:50.000 Gibson SG, but I have the Special Faded.

00:09:52.000 Correct.

00:09:53.000 And he uses JCM 100s, I believe.

00:09:53.000 Yes.

00:09:56.000 Okay, Marshall Amp.

00:10:00.000 Yeah, but it's out of, say, a thousand songs that you say you enjoy or you will even play in the studio, one or two is ACDC or remotely not gay.

00:10:14.000 A lot of not gay stuff, frankly.

00:10:17.000 Okay, well, what was that song you just played?

00:10:21.000 That was Soccer Mommy by...

00:10:21.000 Thanks.

00:10:25.000 No, your dog by Soccer Mommy.

00:10:26.000 I'm sorry.

00:10:27.000 Oh, so the artist is Soccer Mommy.

00:10:29.000 Yes.

00:10:30.000 Okay.

00:10:31.000 So as Ryan sits here and talks about how awesome his taste of music is, one of his top bands is called Soccer Mommy.

00:10:38.000 That's the only song I like.

00:10:39.000 I like a lot of one-hit.

00:10:40.000 Well, a lot of Soccer Mommy songs suck.

00:10:42.000 Yeah, Dora the Explorer sucked this year.

00:10:42.000 Yeah.

00:10:44.000 There's only like two good apps.

00:10:46.000 I like other stuff.

00:10:47.000 That's good.

00:10:48.000 What was that?

00:10:49.000 Is Soccer Mommy a local band at least?

00:10:53.000 They're blowing up, but yeah, they're, you know, they're not.

00:10:56.000 Are they from your hometown at least?

00:10:57.000 You know the drummer?

00:10:59.000 No, no, no, no.

00:11:00.000 I could almost forgive you if it was an ex-girlfriend or something.

00:11:03.000 No.

00:11:04.000 They're a popular mainstream band.

00:11:05.000 How many hits does it hit?

00:11:07.000 How many clicks does that?

00:11:08.000 This is the only.

00:11:09.000 How many views?

00:11:09.000 Jesus Christ.

00:11:10.000 Hits, clicks?

00:11:11.000 This is the only song that they've come out with that is of value.

00:11:14.000 That was not my question, sir.

00:11:16.000 Oh, how many hits?

00:11:17.000 149,000.

00:11:19.000 Wow.

00:11:19.000 So a lot of people like Soccer Mommy.

00:11:21.000 They like the song.

00:11:22.000 Do you want to play that again?

00:11:24.000 Yeah.

00:11:26.000 Hell yeah.

00:11:40.000 I don't want to be your what?

00:11:43.000 I don't want to be your fucking dog.

00:11:45.000 Okay.

00:11:45.000 It's called your dog.

00:11:46.000 Look up Dinosaur Jr.

00:11:50.000 What's the song?

00:11:52.000 If I'm grazing by your window, please don't pat me on the head.

00:11:58.000 Just want to find out what you're nice to me for.

00:12:02.000 Is it don't?

00:12:04.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:12:08.000 Is it?

00:12:11.000 No.

00:12:13.000 Why did you say don't?

00:12:15.000 Because the word don't is in the song.

00:12:16.000 What's going on with my mouse here?

00:12:18.000 Well, I looked up the lyrics.

00:12:20.000 I mean, I typed in the lyrics and then I'll be grazing by your window.

00:12:24.000 It's in a jar.

00:12:25.000 In a jar.

00:12:27.000 So that song was Soccer Mom.

00:12:35.000 Just want to find out what you're nice to me for.

00:12:35.000 Turn it up.

00:12:40.000 When I look up, don't think I don't know about all the scabs you dread.

00:12:47.000 It's hard to stomach the door.

00:12:54.000 So just pause there.

00:12:56.000 That's a new kind of music they invented, which is basically country and hardcore Combined, and your song is about subjugation and being a dog.

00:13:05.000 Like, I don't want to be your dog.

00:13:07.000 That song, the lyrics alone could be in the Guggenheim.

00:13:11.000 I'll be grazing by your window.

00:13:13.000 Please don't pat me on the head.

00:13:15.000 I just want to find out what you're nice to me for.

00:13:19.000 That is cool.

00:13:20.000 And then before the solo, he goes, it's hard to stomach the gore in a little soft voice.

00:13:29.000 And then he goes, in a jar where you put me, all I could do is kiss your hand.

00:13:35.000 Kissing's kind of gay.

00:13:37.000 Well, that's the whole thing.

00:13:38.000 He's a pathetic, useless piece of shit.

00:13:40.000 And it's how sometimes when you're around a woman that you're madly in love with, you feel like a nothing, disgusting little cockroach.

00:13:46.000 Truth.

00:13:47.000 That's profound.

00:13:49.000 Your song's gay and useless.

00:13:50.000 Well, they both have a place in this world.

00:13:53.000 No, they don't.

00:13:56.000 I'm talking about works of art.

00:13:58.000 You're talking about not even shit, like fish shit.

00:14:03.000 Soccer mommy is fish shit.

00:14:04.000 Oh, like actual the animal fish?

00:14:06.000 Like the animal fish.

00:14:08.000 No.

00:14:09.000 Yep, floating around in a bowl.

00:14:10.000 No.

00:14:11.000 You know how it's long little sort of tubes that slowly fragment and dissipate into the water?

00:14:16.000 That's all the bands you like.

00:14:18.000 What how about polyphia?

00:14:20.000 Now I know you get down on some polyphs.

00:14:23.000 I don't know.

00:14:26.000 Oh yeah, so he says, I'll be grazing by your window, blah, blah, blah.

00:14:29.000 I just want to find out what you're nice to me for.

00:14:30.000 Then you smile and decide to take me in because I look good by your bed, but I can feel it just a little more.

00:14:37.000 So fucking.

00:14:38.000 It's like that band, The Birthday Party, Nick Cave's old band, Deep in the Woods.

00:14:45.000 See if you can dig that up.

00:14:49.000 He goes, Worms make their cruel design, spelling D I E into the mud.

00:14:56.000 The dress floats down the well and it assumes the shape and the body of a little girl.

00:15:00.000 I recognize that girl.

00:15:02.000 She stumbled in some time last loneliness.

00:15:06.000 Creepy.

00:15:07.000 It sounds like a Vincent Price poem.

00:15:08.000 It's the woman and dumps her honey bottle.

00:15:14.000 This is scarier than a Hannibal Ector movie.

00:15:18.000 You gotta elevate your tastes.

00:15:20.000 I know, I know, I gotta crack.

00:15:21.000 I can creep you out.

00:15:24.000 Yeah, why don't you put on some tools?

00:15:25.000 Shut up and just play this song.

00:15:26.000 I don't like to.

00:15:27.000 The shape of the body of a little girl.

00:15:31.000 Ming.

00:15:34.000 That's Blick Spargel of Einständer Nürburgen on the guitar.

00:15:37.000 I recognize that girl.

00:15:40.000 I'm petrified right now, Nick.

00:15:42.000 She stumbled in some time.

00:15:46.000 Last loneliness.

00:15:48.000 They've got a swastika on their cover.

00:15:50.000 Yeesh.

00:15:52.000 It's back when people could be dangerous.

00:15:53.000 But I could not stand to touch.

00:15:55.000 I couldn't stand to touch her now.

00:15:57.000 She took me from rags right through to stitches.

00:16:01.000 My one and only deep in the woods.

00:16:13.000 Hang on to your socks.

00:16:16.000 Deep in the woods, a funeral is swinging.

00:16:26.000 Okay, we got it.

00:16:27.000 That's enough.

00:16:27.000 Dude, I just realized what's going on.

00:16:29.000 I gave you all those thumb drives.

00:16:31.000 One of them was for my gay mouse.

00:16:33.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:34.000 Here we go.

00:16:36.000 This is the gay mouse one.

00:16:38.000 This is a good one.

00:16:39.000 This is a jam.

00:16:41.000 I'm not scared.

00:16:42.000 Shia LaBeouf directed the video.

00:16:42.000 It's creepy.

00:16:44.000 This is Cage.

00:16:45.000 Shila Boeff.

00:16:47.000 God damn it.

00:16:48.000 I hate everything about your generation.

00:16:49.000 Well, they're not friends anymore, so.

00:16:51.000 Then it's okay.

00:16:51.000 Oh, okay.

00:16:52.000 Yeah.

00:16:52.000 He will not divide us.

00:16:54.000 He won't.

00:16:56.000 It's about stalking a chick and then some other things happen.

00:17:02.000 Spooky.

00:17:03.000 You're always dying inside.

00:17:05.000 That much closer to home on a crowded street corner surrounding the game.

00:17:10.000 Is this a perfect example of the generation gap?

00:17:13.000 Isn't this proof my generation is better than yours?

00:17:15.000 Generation X's are better than millennials.

00:17:18.000 This is dark, dog.

00:17:19.000 It sounds like that 22 Jump Street band.

00:17:23.000 What is that?

00:17:23.000 What are they called?

00:17:24.000 21?

00:17:25.000 21 Pilots or something?

00:17:27.000 Or yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:28.000 This is 21 Pilots trying to spook me out.

00:17:29.000 No.

00:17:30.000 I just played you a song that was made in hell.

00:17:33.000 This is hellish.

00:17:34.000 No, it's not.

00:17:35.000 It's fucking gay.

00:17:37.000 Nope.

00:17:38.000 Oh, no.

00:17:39.000 A rapper's mad at me, yo.

00:17:43.000 The song rules.

00:17:46.000 Tie girls up to the song.

00:17:51.000 Alright, should we start the show?

00:17:52.000 I think so.

00:17:54.000 Let's start the show.

00:17:55.000 The show has officially begun.

00:17:58.000 I went to the gym this morning, and the coach who owns the place, Coach Ryan, has invented a new thing.

00:18:05.000 What are you writing?

00:18:06.000 I went to the gym this morning.

00:18:07.000 This is going to be a long title.

00:18:09.000 Remember?

00:18:10.000 So am I...

00:18:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:14.000 Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:18:16.000 Because I keep forgetting the podcast, the first sentence of the show is what the show is about.

00:18:22.000 Yes.

00:18:22.000 And we got to get our sponsors straight.

00:18:25.000 I walked into a battle royale this morning.

00:18:29.000 I got our sponsors straight.

00:18:31.000 It's Blue Chew and My Bookie.

00:18:34.000 And Cavefe.

00:18:35.000 Three.

00:18:39.000 That usually goes for about $1,500.

00:18:40.000 They're usually about $500 each, aren't they?

00:18:43.000 Thousand?

00:18:43.000 I think it's about...

00:18:45.000 I would like $1,000.

00:18:46.000 I kind of was going for $1,000.

00:18:47.000 I thought they were around that.

00:18:48.000 Good news, by the way, we are at 12,900 subscribers.

00:18:53.000 That's a lot.

00:18:54.000 That's almost 1.3 million buckaroo bonsais.

00:18:58.000 True that.

00:18:58.000 And it's funny because I keep getting advice from millennials going, yeah, here's how economics works.

00:19:04.000 Actually, there's supply and demand.

00:19:06.000 And when the supply overrides the demand, the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:11.000 Basically, I don't want to pay $10.

00:19:13.000 And I sat through my high school economics class.

00:19:15.000 Meanwhile, this guy has, I'm going to say, $170 in the bank.

00:19:20.000 And he's 23.

00:19:23.000 And he's telling me how to run my life.

00:19:26.000 What are you doing?

00:19:27.000 Checking the stream.

00:19:29.000 Okay.

00:19:30.000 so yeah, I walked into a battle royale this morning.

00:19:32.000 My coach invented a new thing.

00:19:38.000 Never been done.

00:19:40.000 You ready for this?

00:19:41.000 Yes.

00:19:42.000 Everyone put on those body shield thing diggies.

00:19:45.000 What are they called?

00:19:47.000 Body shield things?

00:19:48.000 I don't know.

00:19:49.000 Body bags?

00:19:50.000 Fuck, what are they called?

00:19:52.000 It's the thing where you can't get, it doesn't hurt to be punched in the stomach or the ribs.

00:19:55.000 Oh, I don't know the technical.

00:19:56.000 Bodyguard or something.

00:19:57.000 Sure, sure.

00:19:58.000 Everyone, everyone in the entire gym put those on.

00:20:01.000 We have like probably nine.

00:20:04.000 So all nine people put them on, nine guys, and everyone fights in this room, in this ring, until they die.

00:20:12.000 An intelligent, strategic thing to do would be for you to form alliances, get a group and say, let's just hammer this guy until he's out.

00:20:21.000 But the gym sparring, because you're punching someone in the face, the culture is very kind.

00:20:29.000 So it's like, you okay?

00:20:30.000 All right, sorry about that.

00:20:31.000 Oh, that was a good punch, good punch.

00:20:33.000 Because it's unnatural to be fighting a man, and you want to make it clear you're not mad, you're not trying to hurt him.

00:20:40.000 If you're trying to hurt him, then you're not learning, which is actually pretty tricky for the heavyweights.

00:20:45.000 Because a lot of these heavyweights, the way that they survive is just super punches.

00:20:51.000 And it's like you're fighting the Hulk.

00:20:53.000 So it doesn't really help to be Zorro when you're fighting the Hulk.

00:20:58.000 But sparring is all about honing your Zoro skills.

00:21:02.000 So some of the big monsters, I would wager, and I'm not an expert, that they don't really benefit from sparring.

00:21:10.000 At least not the way I do.

00:21:12.000 I benefit from sparring because I'm a mosquito and I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to not get smashed.

00:21:18.000 So it's good for me to get in there and figure out how to move from a punch.

00:21:22.000 I actually invented a new maneuver today.

00:21:25.000 You just keep your hands up.

00:21:26.000 You know how like in Star Wars, the Death Star, they send out the little guys, the little H-shaped guys, and they fight so you can't get to the Death Star.

00:21:34.000 I don't let you get to the Death Star.

00:21:35.000 I just go like this and start hitting your gloves all over the place.

00:21:39.000 That works.

00:21:39.000 Shoeing them.

00:21:40.000 Shoe, hands, shoe.

00:21:40.000 Shoo.

00:21:43.000 It actually, I know it sounds ridiculous, but the guy I was sparring with, possibly because he was laughing so hard, but he had trouble with it.

00:21:50.000 Like it's, because you're punching through a flurry of these moving hands.

00:21:57.000 TIE Fighters, yeah.

00:21:58.000 I can't shake them.

00:22:03.000 Every night I give my kids a force field.

00:22:05.000 You start at the feet, then you go...

00:22:15.000 Yeah, well, it's just a blob outside your whole body.

00:22:19.000 That's the head, but it's just loose now.

00:22:22.000 You want to be able to move around.

00:22:23.000 So when I go, I seal it right here, and the force field just sticks to your skin.

00:22:30.000 And now you can get up and move around whatever.

00:22:32.000 Say there's a fire, you still have a force field, and you're protected from monsters and bad dreams.

00:22:37.000 That's pretty cool.

00:22:38.000 Occasionally, they'll have a bad dream and go, what the fuck's going on?

00:22:41.000 And I'll go, you must, there must have been a problem with your force field.

00:22:44.000 If you move during the force field, it's ruined.

00:22:47.000 Maybe a bad thought was in there and it got sealed in.

00:22:50.000 Don't rewrite the rules.

00:22:51.000 And it became a dream.

00:22:52.000 The only rule is you can't move during the force field.

00:22:54.000 And you got to be like this, like toot and common.

00:22:59.000 And I've been doing it since my first daughter was born, so 12 years.

00:23:03.000 But it's funny now with a 12-year-old.

00:23:06.000 What are you doing?

00:23:07.000 You never gave me a force field.

00:23:08.000 I'm not concerned about monsters.

00:23:09.000 I'm basically a teenager.

00:23:11.000 Actually, she'll be a teenager in a few days.

00:23:12.000 You never gave me a force field.

00:23:14.000 I never will.

00:23:14.000 Can you give me one?

00:23:15.000 *Sigh*

00:23:28.000 It's not easy when you're trying not to laugh.

00:23:30.000 It's pretty awesome.

00:23:31.000 You can't smile.

00:23:34.000 So anyway, I go into the gym this morning, and it's a full-on Battle Royale.

00:23:38.000 Now, I should warn you, I have footage of this.

00:23:42.000 Fighting is not videogenic, especially because we're used to seeing Mike Tyson murder people.

00:23:48.000 So you're used to seeing a punch that ends someone's entire career.

00:23:53.000 So when you see people just sort of popping around, it just looks like totally useless punches.

00:23:59.000 But I assure you, they hurt.

00:24:01.000 And I assure you, this is the most exhausting thing.

00:24:03.000 I did two rounds of this.

00:24:05.000 No, three rounds where I was the one getting punched, two and a half minutes each.

00:24:09.000 I had AIDS by the end.

00:24:11.000 I had full-blown AIDS.

00:24:13.000 These guys went 30 minutes.

00:24:16.000 And there was no final winner because people were being cool with each other.

00:24:20.000 Turn it up.

00:24:25.000 See, there's Tommy, the heavyweight beast.

00:24:27.000 He doesn't benefit from this.

00:24:28.000 It's like you tag him and then he's got a set.

00:24:31.000 USA!

00:24:38.000 There's that guy in the left of the Fed who was hired to befriend me.

00:24:41.000 But I don't mind.

00:24:45.000 But I don't mind.

00:24:46.000 That's Larry Barnes yelling out my stats, by the way.

00:24:50.000 He's like, "Gavin the Great, dirty..." He goes, "You know what you..." Help me go, you know where you're from?

00:24:59.000 You know where you live?

00:25:00.000 Cupcakeville.

00:25:02.000 You're the fucking mayor.

00:25:02.000 Oh.

00:25:04.000 That's not good.

00:25:06.000 I say, at least Cupcakeville is fucking clean.

00:25:10.000 Unlike Mount Vernon where you're from, which is a shithole.

00:25:13.000 We have fountains that are made of cotton candy.

00:25:16.000 Sprinkles.

00:25:17.000 Sprinkles everywhere.

00:25:18.000 Rain sprinkles.

00:25:19.000 You turn on the tap, it's chocolate milk.

00:25:20.000 It's pretty cool.

00:25:21.000 That's cupcake land.

00:25:22.000 And that's because I'm a good mayor.

00:25:23.000 Yeah.

00:25:24.000 Mount Vernon, the mayor's going to jail.

00:25:26.000 Whipped cream clouds.

00:25:28.000 Yeah.

00:25:29.000 I did the punchline.

00:25:31.000 Mount Vernon's mayor is going to jail.

00:25:31.000 We moved on.

00:25:33.000 Oh.

00:25:34.000 And then you just keep riffing.

00:25:36.000 You're like a little weird dog who just sort of wanders out into the road.

00:25:40.000 You're like a weird stray with brain damage.

00:25:45.000 I swear to God.

00:25:47.000 I just typed in.

00:25:48.000 I was looking for Mount Vernon Mayor Goes to Jail.

00:25:50.000 I just typed in Whip Room Clouds.

00:25:53.000 That is crazy.

00:25:54.000 Now I'm seeing.

00:25:55.000 I love how enamored you are with Ryan.

00:25:58.000 You're just like, what an angel.

00:26:00.000 You're almost like a doting father, but the baby is you.

00:26:03.000 You're like, classic me.

00:26:05.000 I'm like cutie.

00:26:06.000 He needed a dad, so he became one.

00:26:09.000 Ooh.

00:26:10.000 pretty cool.

00:26:10.000 It's like Wonder Woman.

00:26:11.000 Never loved as a baby, so now you love you as a baby.

00:26:14.000 Actually, Ryan, you joke, but that's a profound observation.

00:26:17.000 Thank you.

00:26:18.000 I'm so proud of me.

00:26:20.000 You are a doting father because you never had one.

00:26:22.000 Yeah.

00:26:23.000 Ryan, shut up.

00:26:25.000 You don't have a dad.

00:26:30.000 Are you pulling up the mayor there?

00:26:31.000 Yep.

00:26:31.000 Fucking Mount Vernon used to be beautiful, and it sucks now.

00:26:36.000 There's a big, beautiful baseball field that the whole community used to get dressed up for and go see games.

00:26:42.000 And now it's sub-warriors.

00:26:45.000 It's honestly like a post-apocalyptic movie.

00:26:48.000 What's this say?

00:26:49.000 Mount Vernon Mayor Richard Thomas pleads guilty to misdemeanors.

00:26:52.000 Will resign.

00:26:53.000 Dang, dog.

00:26:55.000 Way to go, dude.

00:26:56.000 They kept giving the money to fix that baseball park, and he just kept eating it.

00:27:01.000 And so it's just got like flowers coming out of the cracks, trying to just be nature again.

00:27:07.000 No.

00:27:09.000 Fucking losers, fucking Dems.

00:27:11.000 Attempted grand larceny and offering a false instrument for filing in connection with stealing campaign funds and lying about those funds on a disclosure to the state board of elections.

00:27:20.000 Prosecutors announced.

00:27:21.000 What is what was the first one?

00:27:23.000 Grand larceny.

00:27:24.000 What is grand larceny?

00:27:25.000 Stealing a lot of money.

00:27:26.000 Attempted grand larceny.

00:27:27.000 Yeah.

00:27:27.000 Anything over a thousand dollars, I believe.

00:27:28.000 Let me look that up.

00:27:30.000 I do that.

00:27:30.000 Shit.

00:27:31.000 I did that this moment.

00:27:32.000 Also in the news, fire department shut down in Pennsylvania.

00:27:41.000 Here's the story, folks, and it is peak clown world.

00:27:45.000 I should be wearing my clown world shirt.

00:27:46.000 Can you go look over the shirts and see if there's a clown world shirt?

00:27:49.000 Yeah, I got one.

00:27:50.000 My size, though, not your little petite.

00:27:53.000 I think.

00:27:54.000 Ryan wears smalls.

00:27:56.000 I think the closet.

00:27:57.000 What are you doing?

00:27:58.000 Just resizing this because you're going to you're about to mention the.

00:28:00.000 No, that's Google.

00:28:02.000 I'm talking about the fire department.

00:28:04.000 I thought the tip off would have been when I said fire department.

00:28:06.000 Here we go.

00:28:07.000 Here's in the future.

00:28:08.000 Here's a rule.

00:28:09.000 If I am going to talk about the fire department and I I'll probably say the word fire department.

00:28:14.000 OK, that's a good code.

00:28:15.000 New new rule, as Bill Maher would say.

00:28:19.000 So here's the story.

00:28:20.000 Volunteer fire department in a little town called Haverford.

00:28:27.000 And I think about 70 percent of fire departments around the country are volunteer.

00:28:32.000 The only time that guys are getting money for it is in the bigger cities or super wealthy cities with an insanely high tax bracket.

00:28:42.000 Like in Westchester.

00:28:43.000 Oh, a yellow one.

00:28:45.000 That's fun.

00:28:46.000 Isn't this supposed to be black and white?

00:28:47.000 No, no.

00:28:48.000 We changed that.

00:28:49.000 Says who?

00:28:51.000 Because everybody hated it.

00:28:53.000 But what happens is we put like a live little logo on the.

00:28:56.000 Holy shit.

00:28:57.000 You know more than me for once.

00:28:59.000 That's one for the book.

00:29:00.000 By the way, as I change my shirt, you may notice I'm getting fucking ripped.

00:29:06.000 I haven't even started the growth hormones yet.

00:29:09.000 I weighed myself.

00:29:11.000 I weigh 188.

00:29:12.000 I lost six pounds over August.

00:29:15.000 And all I did was drink half a bottle of bourbon a day.

00:29:18.000 And my wife sends me a text that says men and has an emoji going.

00:29:23.000 But I was like, bitch.

00:29:25.000 I wasn't sitting down like I do every day here at the studio.

00:29:30.000 So there's something.

00:29:31.000 And I didn't eat.

00:29:33.000 I swear that this is not a large.

00:29:36.000 No, it's the only one we have in the closet there.

00:29:39.000 No, not the closet.

00:29:40.000 There in my stash.

00:29:41.000 Look at this little tube top he gives me.

00:29:46.000 And this is big for you, right, tiny man?

00:29:50.000 No, that's perfect.

00:29:51.000 So thanks for that.

00:29:54.000 Here's an L. That's usually things we're doing, right?

00:29:57.000 I still can't get over how funny.

00:30:03.000 Yeah, I swear to God, this whole myth of it's easier for men to lose weight.

00:30:06.000 I want a woman who says that to live with a man who says that and be like literally handcuffed to him.

00:30:14.000 not like to be literally handcuffed to him for say 36 hours because i'll notice my wife will just she's starving by 10 a.m i don't need to eat lunch i don't need to i could do one meal a day easy but they're always hungry and they're always peckish and they're always making scrambled eggs and with fucking avocado shit on it i've really ramped up the swearing these days have you noticed that anger i'm getting angrier um maybe you're hangry so

00:30:45.000 Here's the deal.

00:30:45.000 Fire departments are mostly volunteer, if you look at the entire country, right?

00:30:50.000 Big cities, they get, I think they're a little overpaid, no offense.

00:30:54.000 But getting paid to sleep is a pretty, both cops and firemen are overpaid.

00:31:00.000 But cops don't get paid to sleep.

00:31:02.000 They get paid to be humiliated in the hood with giant things of water.

00:31:08.000 But anyway, disparaging the fire department is very low on my list of priorities.

00:31:13.000 So this volunteer dude, he's the vice president of their thing.

00:31:18.000 And I know volunteer firemen, they really get into it.

00:31:21.000 Like they have the hat.

00:31:23.000 If you go to their house, they have like a hat from 1842 that a guy would wear.

00:31:28.000 And they're really proud of it.

00:31:30.000 And you have to understand what this guy's doing for no money.

00:31:32.000 He's saying, I'm not going to stay safe and sound in my house with my wife.

00:31:36.000 I'm going to go sleep at the Haverford fire station.

00:31:42.000 So if there's any problems in my community, I can go there and risk my life.

00:31:46.000 Okay?

00:31:48.000 Sounds like a pretty good dude.

00:31:50.000 Word gets out.

00:31:52.000 And by the way, when I say word gets out, I'm not talking about scholars or pillars of the community or concerned moms.

00:32:00.000 I'm not talking about anyone of any consequence.

00:32:02.000 I'm talking about Antifa.

00:32:03.000 And Antifa often has a dead parent, a dead mom, a dead dad.

00:32:09.000 I'm not disparaging people who lost a parent.

00:32:11.000 But in the case, of antifa they're out for revenge and they want to sabotage your family because they don't have one or more likely they're spinsters they're old they're childless they don't make enough money to pay tax and their attitude is from palestine to mexico all the walls have got to go in other words i want the entire world to be as shitty as Me.

00:32:30.000 I want everyone to be broke like me.

00:32:32.000 So, a great way to do that is to sabotage men's jobs and get them fired, especially family men who have wives and kids and pay taxes.

00:32:41.000 Let's fuck with them.

00:32:42.000 So, some Antifa loser, some social justice warrior, some could be a ball, B-A-W-L, boomer-angry woman liberal.

00:32:51.000 I should probably give up on making that a thing, right?

00:32:53.000 No, people like it.

00:32:54.000 I've seen it.

00:32:54.000 It's kind of fetch.

00:32:58.000 They start pushing this fire station, and they go, there is a proud boy.

00:33:02.000 The vice president of this station is a proud boy.

00:33:06.000 Now he, this doesn't work, by the way, disavows the group.

00:33:10.000 Well, Gavin, you disavowed the group.

00:33:12.000 No, dude, I quit for legal purposes, and it worked nine times out of 11.

00:33:18.000 He said, I've been kind of stepping away from them.

00:33:20.000 I don't really, I don't hang out with them anymore.

00:33:22.000 And they go, no, no, you don't.

00:33:24.000 Fuck you.

00:33:25.000 And they start hassling the city saying, you have a white supremacist, violent fire department.

00:33:32.000 So the guy goes, you know what?

00:33:34.000 Let's just stop this shitstorm.

00:33:36.000 Hey, fire department, I quit.

00:33:38.000 Here's my resignation.

00:33:39.000 And they go, we're not taking it, dude.

00:33:41.000 You're an awesome guy.

00:33:42.000 You're a good person.

00:33:43.000 And we stand by our brothers.

00:33:44.000 You have to understand, firemen are prepared to die.

00:33:47.000 They're prepared to go in and save their burning friend who's dying of smoke inhalation.

00:33:51.000 They throw him over their shoulder, if they're not a hundred-pound woman who can't lift a man, who somehow affirmative actioned her way in there and put every man's life in jeopardy.

00:34:00.000 But that's for another day.

00:34:02.000 And they have to run out and save this guy's life.

00:34:04.000 The vice president of this company was obviously willing to die saving every other man in this.

00:34:11.000 So they give the resignation.

00:34:12.000 They say, no, I'd rather die than accept that.

00:34:16.000 We refuse your resignation.

00:34:18.000 So the city goes, so you got rid of that stupid asshole?

00:34:22.000 And they go, no, we're not taking his resignation.

00:34:25.000 We would rather all be fired than accept his resignation.

00:34:29.000 So the city goes, okay, you're all fired.

00:34:32.000 Well, what do you mean?

00:34:34.000 You're shutting down the entire station?

00:34:36.000 Yes.

00:34:37.000 So now, if there's a fire in Haverford, local, the next town's fire department will have to get there.

00:34:44.000 So they've just doubled the response time for a fire in that area to appease some radical social justice warrior.

00:34:55.000 Honk, honk, clown world.

00:35:00.000 Can a fan please record us something like that?

00:35:02.000 It goes, honk, honk, clown world, something like that.

00:35:06.000 I like it.

00:35:08.000 It'd be cool if it was a bunch of people saying it.

00:35:10.000 Clown world.

00:35:12.000 Honk, honk.

00:35:13.000 If you're a kindergarten teacher, it'd be cool if you get your kids to say that.

00:35:18.000 So it's shut down.

00:35:20.000 It's gone.

00:35:22.000 Imagine a family, and if I was a liberal, I would want this to happen because I'd love winning more than anything.

00:35:28.000 I think we might have.

00:35:33.000 Oh, what?

00:35:34.000 That was pretty quick.

00:35:36.000 That's by Phil Kay.

00:35:38.000 I got to say, I'm pretty impressed with the response.

00:35:42.000 Use it.

00:35:42.000 I made it.

00:35:43.000 It's good.

00:35:43.000 Whoa, what was that?

00:35:44.000 Two seconds?

00:35:46.000 You got that and you forgot?

00:35:46.000 What happened?

00:35:48.000 I just checked my mailbag now.

00:35:51.000 Okay.

00:35:52.000 I got some good news for you, buddy, by the way.

00:35:54.000 We're bringing back the mailbag.

00:35:56.000 Ryan's mailbag is back.

00:35:58.000 Oh, nice.

00:35:59.000 But do me a favor.

00:36:00.000 Sure.

00:36:00.000 Read the letter in a succinct manner.

00:36:02.000 Sure.

00:36:03.000 Edit it first.

00:36:04.000 So if he says, check out this movie I did, or I love you guys and things are cool.

00:36:09.000 Cut out all that fluff.

00:36:10.000 Just do the core.

00:36:12.000 Don't say his last name.

00:36:13.000 This is from Ron from Michigan.

00:36:16.000 Read the gist of the letter, so the most important paragraph, and then say, interesting.

00:36:22.000 Next, unless you have something crucial to say, then just go to the next letter.

00:36:27.000 Could we have you call in maybe down the line a little bit?

00:36:30.000 Sure, I guess.

00:36:32.000 Sometimes I don't have great advice.

00:36:33.000 I just go to the next one.

00:36:34.000 Then just say, wow, that's a good one.

00:36:36.000 Or if it's one of those ones that really needs advice and you're too retarded, then skip that one.

00:36:41.000 Or tell them to call in on this show.

00:36:43.000 Yeah, sometimes people call in and say, hey, yesterday on that Ravenhead thing, you forgot to mention that the guys are wearing black and yellow Fred Perries.

00:36:49.000 Oh, that's an interesting thing.

00:36:50.000 We don't need advice for that.

00:36:52.000 Truth.

00:36:52.000 If some guy's like, I haven't seen my daughter in three months and my ex-wife tried to kill herself, but she has full custody.

00:36:59.000 What should I do?

00:37:00.000 You may want to send that up the line.

00:37:02.000 Sure.

00:37:02.000 To the top brass.

00:37:03.000 And I think I may let that go by my head to someone even higher.

00:37:08.000 But yeah, God, perhaps?

00:37:10.000 That's a good word.

00:37:11.000 No, God doesn't like to be bothered with that.

00:37:13.000 Yeah, he does.

00:37:14.000 And by the way, while we're on it, God, I'd like to apologize for praying to you for that last Mets game.

00:37:21.000 Not really impressed, though, with the way you handled it.

00:37:23.000 Having Diaz blow a six-run lead at the bottom of the fucking ninth.

00:37:28.000 Was that a fuck you to me for praying?

00:37:31.000 Let's not let our petty little arguments affect an entire nation's team.

00:37:39.000 That's true.

00:37:40.000 You hurt a lot of people with that, God.

00:37:43.000 It was no AIDS, but you hurt a lot of people with that game.

00:37:47.000 Now, he gave you what he wanted in the short run, right?

00:37:50.000 No, I'm just kidding.

00:37:51.000 I don't pray to God.

00:37:53.000 There have been some games where I've said, hey man, I know you're busy, and I don't want to do this, but on the off chance, you're bored.

00:38:03.000 Right.

00:38:05.000 I wouldn't hate it.

00:38:06.000 And if you have nothing to do, nothing but time, you're picking your nose, I wouldn't hate it if this next fastball could maybe approach 105 miles an hour.

00:38:15.000 That's fair.

00:38:16.000 Just give it a little.

00:38:19.000 Yeah.

00:38:21.000 Anyway, what it is, is you're making that player reach his peak, his excellence.

00:38:25.000 You're just exhibiting the gifts of God and the talents that he was blessed with.

00:38:30.000 And maybe strike every opposing team in the East Coast National League with cancer.

00:38:37.000 Well, that's a bit much.

00:38:41.000 Okay, now I know.

00:38:42.000 Okay.

00:38:44.000 I'm gauging the parameters.

00:38:45.000 Now I know that's too much.

00:38:47.000 Let's practice our new Clown World thing.

00:38:49.000 So this fire station has permanently shut down because some bitch ratted on a guy who had been to a couple Of proud boys meetings and been punched in, naming five breakfasts here, and drank a bunch of fucking Budweisers.

00:39:07.000 Clown world.

00:39:11.000 Let's try again.

00:39:12.000 Okay, I'll give you something else.

00:39:14.000 So, Jack Pisobic is sitting in his car, and they're talking about it.

00:39:18.000 And he sends me a recording of his car radio where I've never heard of this before, and it may be an example of women in journalism, where when defining the group, the woman says, a Google search reveals.

00:39:34.000 Can we just pause here?

00:39:37.000 A journalist is saying, a Google search reveals.

00:39:41.000 So we're looking up rap music, and a Google search reveals it's actually the devil's music.

00:39:48.000 That is where Negroes play it in order to corrupt our white daughters.

00:39:53.000 What does a Google search not reveal?

00:39:56.000 A Google search reveals that the Earth is, in fact, flat.

00:40:00.000 NASA has sent some fake videos and Photoshops and pictures of Earth in order to fool us.

00:40:06.000 That's what a Google search revealed.

00:40:08.000 Ergo, I'm the news.

00:40:14.000 That's pretty good.

00:40:15.000 Yeah.

00:40:16.000 I didn't mean it to go there, but from now on, I'll say Clown World.

00:40:19.000 I'll say, I'll go like this.

00:40:20.000 I'll go Clown World.

00:40:26.000 You're seeing us rehearse.

00:40:26.000 I like it.

00:40:28.000 Okay, so play the show the car stereo video I airdropped you.

00:40:34.000 Got it.

00:40:35.000 That's okay.

00:40:38.000 Happy Township, Delaware County has been shut down after one of its members apparently was involved with an extremist group.

00:40:44.000 AOW's Kim Glovis, that's the story.

00:40:47.000 Habaford Township officials.

00:40:48.000 Wait, go back.

00:40:49.000 Let's get this bitch's name.

00:40:50.000 Go back.

00:40:52.000 Harford Township, Delaware County, has been shut down after one of its members apparently was involved with an extremist group.

00:40:58.000 AOW's Kim Glovis.

00:41:00.000 That's the story.

00:41:02.000 Hen Glovis?

00:41:02.000 The fuck?

00:41:04.000 Hen Glovis?

00:41:05.000 Middle counties.

00:41:08.000 An extremist group.

00:41:10.000 AOW's Kim Globus.

00:41:12.000 Hair de Lee's Hin Global?

00:41:13.000 That's crazy.

00:41:14.000 Have you listened to the radio in Sweden?

00:41:16.000 Here DeLose, HinGlobal has the story.

00:41:18.000 Good turn.

00:41:20.000 The extremist group, Italy's Kim Globus.

00:41:24.000 Kim Globus.

00:41:25.000 Kim Globus.

00:41:26.000 I believe.

00:41:27.000 I'm going to find you.

00:41:27.000 All right, Kim.

00:41:28.000 This is not a threat.

00:41:29.000 I just want to look at you.

00:41:32.000 Continue.

00:41:33.000 All right.

00:41:33.000 Yeah.

00:41:34.000 Habitford Township officials found out in mid-August that a volunteer with the Bonaire Fire Company had gone through part of an extremist group's initiation process.

00:41:42.000 The township says the group's website says members are Western chauvinists who refuse to apologize for creating the modern world it once closed borders and does not allow women and transgender men.

00:41:51.000 A Google search of these ideas leads to the Proud Boys, an all-time group of white supremacists.

00:41:57.000 So you got to go back to that Google search result.

00:41:59.000 But it's a group that does not allow women or transgender men.

00:42:04.000 Do you want to hear some other horrible groups that do that?

00:42:07.000 The Shriners, the Masons, the Knights of Columbus.

00:42:11.000 That's what a men's club is, you stupid bitch.

00:42:15.000 Most militaries.

00:42:16.000 And transgender members, the Knights of Columbus, imagine there was a story in the news.

00:42:20.000 The Knights of Columbus have outlawed transgendered members.

00:42:24.000 No one would talk about it.

00:42:25.000 And the Shriners, the guys who wear those funny fez hats and ride minicars, have now outlawed women and transgendered members.

00:42:34.000 A Google search reveals.

00:42:36.000 So in that context, it sounds like we're against women and transgendered members.

00:42:41.000 All men's clubs are like that.

00:42:42.000 Hence the name men's.

00:42:45.000 Sorry, go back.

00:42:46.000 Kim Globus.

00:42:47.000 ...and does not allow women and transgender men.

00:42:49.000 A Google search of these ideas leads to the Proud Boys, an alt-right group of white supremacists who claim they fight for freedom of speech, but the goal is to promote violence.

00:42:58.000 The Hattford Township manager and deputy chief of police conducted an investigation and met with the Bonaire Fire Company officials about the seriousness of the matter.

00:43:06.000 By this time, the volunteer in question had resigned, but the fire company did not accept the resignation.

00:43:10.000 The Bonaire Fire Company decided not to take any action.

00:43:13.000 That was when the township manager ruled that the failure to address the matter, conflicted with public policy that calls for everyone to be treated fairly and equally, The fire company has been shut down.

00:43:23.000 Fire service for Bon Air will now be provided without interruption by four other volunteer fire companies in the township.

00:43:29.000 Kim Glovis, KYW.

00:43:30.000 Okay, so this is actually great news for the Southern Poverty Law Center suit that I have filed because their propaganda and their lies just put lives in danger.

00:43:43.000 These ladies, there was a cop.

00:43:45.000 So the chief of police investigates these allegations and he uses Google, he uses Wikipedia, he uses SPLC as a source and then shuts them down.

00:43:57.000 And did you catch the sort of subtext there?

00:44:01.000 Everyone should be treated equally.

00:44:02.000 So the insane...

00:44:06.000 Clown world.

00:44:12.000 Dude.

00:44:16.000 Yeah, and I have to put it on the board.

00:44:18.000 You're right.

00:44:19.000 In the insane clown world.

00:44:23.000 Okay, not every single time I say it.

00:44:25.000 Okay.

00:44:25.000 Jesus Christ.

00:44:29.000 It's almost like a who's on second type of sketch that we're like Laurel and Hardy, but you're trying your best.

00:44:35.000 But I'm both Laurel and Hardy.

00:44:37.000 You're like the stupid guy in the Three Stooges, but you're not trying to be.

00:44:41.000 All three of them are pretty stupid.

00:44:43.000 Isn't there like one smart guy and the other two are not?

00:44:45.000 No, Mo is just stuck.

00:44:46.000 Rocho Marx is the smart guy.

00:44:48.000 But he's not in the Three Stooges.

00:44:49.000 Oh.

00:44:49.000 Oh, he's in the Marks brothers.

00:44:50.000 Yes, yeah, all three of the Stooges are stupid, just Mo is a little more like leader-ish.

00:44:56.000 Leader-ish.

00:44:57.000 Yeah, leader-ish.

00:44:59.000 So the subtext is that they get a call and they go, yeah, there's a fire at 13 Crescent Avenue.

00:45:12.000 And then the racist, white supremacist, violent fire department goes, that's a Negro street.

00:45:19.000 Let them burn, boys.

00:45:19.000 Fuck it.

00:45:21.000 Let them burn.

00:45:25.000 And so to protect this imminent, essentially murder Of people of color.

00:45:32.000 Maybe it's a trans house.

00:45:33.000 Maybe a trans house in Haverford County will be on fire.

00:45:36.000 And by the way, this little comedy bit I'm doing is just me extrapolating their truths.

00:45:41.000 I'm just describing what the news just said.

00:45:44.000 I'm not coming up with a cuckoo scenario.

00:45:46.000 I'm telling you the news.

00:45:49.000 And this company was shut down because the implication is that they will not be rescuing trans women, illegal immigrants, basically anyone who's not a white male.

00:46:04.000 And even white male liberals, right?

00:46:06.000 They probably wouldn't be on the list.

00:46:07.000 So you're only going to really save like, I don't know, a 50th of the houses?

00:46:16.000 Insanity.

00:46:18.000 Fucking insanity.

00:46:20.000 Meanwhile, hey, have you got that Antifa video we made?

00:46:24.000 That is done.

00:46:27.000 Almost done.

00:46:28.000 I did a video that we worked very hard on.

00:46:30.000 Hard on.

00:46:34.000 Yeah, you do do.

00:46:35.000 We got to get the words doo-doo and hard on.

00:46:38.000 One thing you do do, and I've worked very hard on this, is you want to.

00:46:42.000 That's good.

00:46:46.000 There was a fight the night of my talk on October 12th where a mob of Antifa beat the shit out of a reporter.

00:46:52.000 No one's talking about it.

00:46:53.000 There was no charges filed at all, scot-free.

00:46:56.000 Meanwhile, two guys from the fight later on where Antifa ambushed them are looking at 15 years in prison.

00:47:03.000 Let me just say that slowly for you folks.

00:47:07.000 That's the clown world horn.

00:47:09.000 15 years in prison.

00:47:13.000 So I did a video that I'll put on my YouTube channel where I just break down exactly how those guys got away with it, who they are, because no one's heard of Finbar Slonum, Kai Russo, and Caleb Perkins.

00:47:26.000 Their corrupt lawyer, Moira Cohen, who is one of these fairy Antifa lawyers who magically appears every time a radical gets in trouble for a street fight and gets them off scot-free.

00:47:40.000 I talk about all of that and the corrupt reporting that has followed this case.

00:47:45.000 Moira Meltzer-Cohen is her name.

00:47:48.000 And she's like lip ring Kafaya, has says on her website she's devoted to radical politics.

00:47:55.000 She's got a lip ring.

00:47:57.000 She's the one who defended Chelsea Manning, who doxed.

00:48:00.000 Anyway, you'll see it in the video when it's done exporting.

00:48:03.000 We will be taking calls in about 10 minutes.

00:48:08.000 I hope the machine works.

00:48:10.000 But I'd also like to keep going through the news.

00:48:12.000 oh, I have something really weird to discuss with you.

00:48:19.000 I didn't.

00:48:21.000 Maybe we're mishearing Globus.

00:48:23.000 We definitely are.

00:48:24.000 It's the hardest.

00:48:27.000 Yeah, that's tough.

00:48:28.000 And I even typed in the radio station 1060.

00:48:30.000 60.

00:48:31.000 1060, channel 1.

00:48:33.000 K-Y.

00:48:35.000 And then Kim Globus.

00:48:37.000 I think Jack is in DC, isn't he?

00:48:40.000 Reporter.

00:48:41.000 Oh, okay.

00:48:41.000 He sent you that.

00:48:42.000 Yep.

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:43.000 So DC.

00:48:46.000 And I'm not trying to dox her.

00:48:48.000 I just, I want to see the kind of people who are reporting the news because I bet it's some stupid little intern who's not even getting paid.

00:48:56.000 Maybe you can get the radio station.

00:48:58.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:48:59.000 We're wasting your time.

00:49:00.000 Speaking of me wasting your time by doing half-assed research, so this thing came out today in Breitbart.

00:49:06.000 There's a think tank called the Capital Research Center.

00:49:09.000 And I better hurry up with this SPLC lawsuit because these think tanks are getting more info than I would in Discovery in a court of law.

00:49:18.000 The left has, what does that headline say?

00:49:22.000 The left has a $500 million dark money ATM machine called Arabella.

00:49:28.000 Now, I know that sounds like Alex Jones, but we're talking about Breitbart here, folks.

00:49:32.000 And I'm not bragging, but Breitbart is pretty mainstream.

00:49:37.000 In fact, they're retroactively going back and changing headlines that are too incendiary.

00:49:43.000 Milo did an article years ago that said birth control is making women stupid and ugly.

00:49:50.000 And it was an actual study about problems with cognitive thinking after you have these hormone doses and how it ages you faster.

00:50:00.000 And Breitbart changed the headline to, birth control is making women, dash, and men, stupider and uglier.

00:50:08.000 And I guess by men they mean women who identify as men.

00:50:11.000 That bullshit?

00:50:12.000 Is that what Breitbart said?

00:50:13.000 That's weird.

00:50:14.000 I really thought they were going to change just the language of the thing and not have to force men in there.

00:50:18.000 Anyway, that's actually relevant.

00:50:20.000 That's actually in Breitbart's benefit that I bring up that story to show you that they're not radical.

00:50:26.000 This is not flat earthers.

00:50:27.000 Breitbart is mainstream.

00:50:30.000 And they're reporting on a study done by the Capital Research Center where they find this thing called Arabella.

00:50:35.000 And what it is, is it's sort of like a slush fund, a Soros-related globalist slush fund where they dole out money to these various groups, the people that attacked me on October 12th.

00:50:48.000 All kinds of weird offshoots, too.

00:50:50.000 I hate to use the word tentacles because that's a common anti-Semitic trope.

00:50:55.000 But here's an example.

00:50:57.000 One of the things they allot money to is to encourage evangelicals, to encourage pastors to focus more on environmentalism, which I see as an attack on Christianity.

00:51:10.000 And I was for gay marriage when it first came out.

00:51:12.000 I said, fine, they're trying to normalize.

00:51:14.000 They're trying to be traditional.

00:51:15.000 That's awesome.

00:51:17.000 But I realized later, no, you're trying to sabotage the Catholic Church.

00:51:20.000 You don't really want to get married.

00:51:22.000 You just have beef with Catholicism.

00:51:24.000 And the beauty of making gay marriage legal is you can force a Catholic priest to do it.

00:51:31.000 So now you're making Catholicism illegal and you can persecute Catholics.

00:51:37.000 Perfect.

00:51:38.000 Because once you can get rid of the family, once you can get rid of Christianity, religion, you can really focus on from Palestine to Mexico, all the walls have got to go.

00:51:47.000 You can really focus on destroying society.

00:51:50.000 So anyway, they want to turn priests into greenies.

00:51:53.000 And this is just one tiny segment.

00:51:55.000 You can find the report in that Breitbart link, but at Capital Research Center, the name of the report is Big Money in Dark Shadows.

00:52:03.000 And it says, turn evangelical Christians into environmentalist activists, going so far as to provide an, quote, environmental toolkit designed to enable pastors to integrate creation care teaching.

00:52:20.000 What kind of fucking Orwellian speak is that?

00:52:24.000 Creation care teaching into their ministry.

00:52:26.000 The pastor's toolkit will include materials to educate pastors regarding creation care's basis in scripture, as well as fact sheets for pastors and their congregations on various environmental topics and suggestions for how congregations can take action to care for God's creation.

00:52:43.000 Sure.

00:52:44.000 Yeah, you're really worried about God, aren't you?

00:52:47.000 All right, here's where it gets weird.

00:52:49.000 Now, everything I've been saying up to now is totally factual.

00:52:52.000 Look it up.

00:52:53.000 This is not radical.

00:52:54.000 But I'm about to get Alex Jones on your ass.

00:52:56.000 All right, folks.

00:52:57.000 All right, folks.

00:52:58.000 You ready?

00:52:59.000 Now, I'm not bragging.

00:53:02.000 I'm reading more about this, and it transpires that the head of this thing is a guy named Eric Kessler.

00:53:10.000 Now, Eric Kessler is a pretty rare name.

00:53:13.000 Sorry, Kessler's a pretty rare name.

00:53:16.000 It's often Jewish, Ashkenazi Jewish.

00:53:16.000 It's German.

00:53:19.000 But it's a German name that I don't think I've ever heard outside of one other person.

00:53:24.000 Jason Kessler.

00:53:26.000 Now, coincidentally, possibly or maybe not, Jason Kessler's dad is named Eric.

00:53:35.000 And Eric Kessler and Jason Kessler were all over the news the other day when Jason Kessler was on some anti-Semitic screed and his father came in the room and said, stop, you're not talking like that in my house.

00:53:49.000 And Jason Kessler said, ah, my dad's a cuck, and he doesn't like me talking about that.

00:53:53.000 And the liberals gobbled it up because they love any kind of fluke from the far right.

00:53:58.000 And obviously I disavow Jason Kessler.

00:54:01.000 But I'm going farther than that.

00:54:02.000 I always suspected something was up with Charlottesville.

00:54:06.000 Now we've left the fact zone.

00:54:08.000 We're into the theory zone now.

00:54:10.000 And the way Jason was pushing me to come to that thing and telling me that it was all about statues and it wasn't alt-right, the way he swore up and down to me that he was not alt-right, that he's just concerned about history, the way I had to scream at him to say, I'm not fucking coming.

00:54:28.000 You do your thing.

00:54:30.000 I don't want to be involved.

00:54:32.000 I said, I used to fight Nazi skinheads when I was a teenager.

00:54:35.000 That was my time to get out there.

00:54:37.000 I don't do this shit anymore.

00:54:38.000 I don't know who you are.

00:54:39.000 I don't know anything about this thing.

00:54:40.000 And I got a bad feeling about it.

00:54:42.000 I was screaming it on the beach with my kids.

00:54:44.000 Now, I've been invited to a million things.

00:54:46.000 And when you say, sorry, I can't make it or whatever, I'm not interested, they just drop it immediately.

00:54:52.000 I've never been called 50 times about something.

00:54:55.000 And I always thought that Charlottesville was some sort of booby trap where they pretend it's this benign thing about statues, lure you in, and then all of a sudden it's tiki torches and Nazis and Jews will not replace us and all this radical thing as a way of like, like a bug trap, right?

00:55:11.000 You've got a bright light, you suck all the bugs in, and then they get zapped.

00:55:15.000 Now, is it conceivable that Jason's dad, Eric Kessler, is the same Eric Kessler that's behind this Arabella fund?

00:55:26.000 And Jason Kessler is just doing his dad's bidding and saying, I'll be the head of the alt-right and I'll sabotage it for you.

00:55:33.000 And that'll be part of our globalist agenda.

00:55:35.000 Just like George Soros' son is carrying on his globalist agenda.

00:55:40.000 I have no idea.

00:55:42.000 I'm sorry, folks.

00:55:43.000 I'm just presenting a theory.

00:55:45.000 But wouldn't that be the most fucked up thing in the universe if all of these millions of journalists had totally ignored the fact that Eric Kessler of Arabella is the same Eric Kessler that fathered Jason Kessler of Charlottesville?

00:56:01.000 Can you autists get on that, please?

00:56:05.000 I'm busy.

00:56:05.000 I got a family.

00:56:06.000 I do a comedy show.

00:56:07.000 I don't have time to research this shit.

00:56:09.000 But if you look up Jason Kessler's dad, it says Eric Kessler.

00:56:12.000 And if you look up Arabella, CEO, it says Eric Kessler.

00:56:15.000 That's all I got.

00:56:16.000 Those guys literally right now, they're like, check your email.

00:56:20.000 That's how they work.

00:56:21.000 Or Eric Kessler is so powerful that the electricity just goes...

00:56:28.000 That happened to me in Sicily once.

00:56:30.000 Say, what?

00:56:31.000 My buddy, Steve, his uncle is Luca DeSomethinga.

00:56:38.000 And he was running in Palermo.

00:56:41.000 This is in the early 90s, fighting the mob.

00:56:43.000 His brother was killed by the mob, and he was trying to shut down the mafia.

00:56:48.000 And we were watching TV in Palermo, probably 1991 or two.

00:56:54.000 And the mafia-sponsored candidate says his thing.

00:56:58.000 This is where we're headed, by the way.

00:57:00.000 It's a dystopian time machine.

00:57:03.000 And then Luca, whatever his name is, gets up and he goes, si grazia tezoro.

00:57:09.000 I okay five.

00:57:13.000 Cable's out.

00:57:14.000 Shut down.

00:57:15.000 Damn.

00:57:17.000 And I met him many years later at a talk and I was like, I know your nephew.

00:57:22.000 I saw your talk where the power shut down.

00:57:25.000 But then you want to get even kookier?

00:57:27.000 Again, this is a theory.

00:57:28.000 I'll always be clear to you when I'm saying facts and when I'm saying theories.

00:57:32.000 Everything there about Luca was a fact.

00:57:33.000 Maybe you can look up his name.

00:57:35.000 Luca Mayor Sicily.

00:57:37.000 Oh, by the way, we're getting a lot of people sending us Kim Glovas.

00:57:41.000 Oh, cool.

00:57:42.000 So let me...

00:57:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:46.000 They're here.

00:57:47.000 I'll credit them in a second.

00:57:48.000 But let's get that mayor from Luca Palermo.

00:57:52.000 Luca.

00:57:54.000 Yeah, that's him.

00:57:55.000 Oh, that's him?

00:57:57.000 Pull it up.

00:57:58.000 Okay.

00:58:00.000 Just resize it.

00:58:01.000 What's his name, Tesoro?

00:58:03.000 You know what's funny?

00:58:04.000 Luca Orlando, that's it.

00:58:06.000 I love saying to Italians Tesoro.

00:58:08.000 It means treasure.

00:58:09.000 And you say it to like your mistress.

00:58:11.000 It's almost erotic.

00:58:12.000 It's so affectionate.

00:58:13.000 And I always say, okay, ciao, Tesoro.

00:58:15.000 And without exception, they always go, oh, no, no, you don't say that.

00:58:20.000 That's very, that's a love.

00:58:22.000 That's like you love me.

00:58:24.000 I know.

00:58:24.000 Yeah, I love you.

00:58:25.000 Tesoro.

00:58:25.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:58:27.000 Oh, the only other one they freak out with is Mulin Yan.

00:58:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:31.000 Yeah, there was something like Mulin Yan.

00:58:33.000 Oh!

00:58:35.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:58:36.000 Mulin Yan is very, very bad.

00:58:38.000 He's a black man, very, very bad.

00:58:40.000 You don't say that about a black man.

00:58:42.000 Well, he was, he was a Mulin Yan.

00:58:43.000 Oh, no, no, no!

00:58:46.000 No, no, no, no!

00:58:48.000 Oh, oh, sorry, Tezoro.

00:58:49.000 No, no, no!

00:58:51.000 I'm not Tesoro!

00:58:52.000 A Tesoro lady!

00:58:54.000 A lady you love!

00:58:56.000 Or a guy like you, Tizoto.

00:58:57.000 The other one is...

00:58:59.000 Well, you should treat me like some kind of...

00:59:04.000 They turn into Scooby-Doo.

00:59:06.000 Road, don't!

00:59:09.000 If you're in a taxi in London and you go, hey, what's this?

00:59:14.000 Well, don't know, Mike.

00:59:16.000 It's Bobby Sands eating a Smarty.

00:59:18.000 They go, Mike, Mike, don't muck about with that.

00:59:20.000 That's real.

00:59:21.000 If you don't know who I am, you could get bloody killed.

00:59:24.000 That's not amusing.

00:59:26.000 And then you go, can you go a chicken supper, Bobby Sands?

00:59:30.000 Can you go?

00:59:31.000 Bobby Sands was an IRA activist in prison who starved himself to death.

00:59:36.000 And it's like the Catholic superconductor.

00:59:39.000 So to disparage Bobby Sands to a Catholic.

00:59:44.000 I could be Catholic, Mike.

00:59:45.000 Well, I'm Protestant, but you would be dead right now if I was Catholic.

00:59:48.000 Wow.

00:59:48.000 So you know this is Bobby Sands eating a Smarty?

00:59:52.000 I'm sorry.

00:59:53.000 I can't resist.

00:59:54.000 When someone says that's the third rail, I just can't help but go, you mean this?

00:59:59.000 Exactly.

01:00:00.000 You have such weird ways.

01:00:01.000 You know exactly how to just.

01:00:04.000 Like, for one.

01:00:05.000 This is a subject that freaks everyone out.

01:00:06.000 Please don't go near it.

01:00:07.000 Yeah.

01:00:08.000 For one for every culture.

01:00:09.000 You told me something about South Africa.

01:00:10.000 It was like, say this.

01:00:11.000 And I was like, what is that?

01:00:12.000 Basically like drop South Africa.

01:00:13.000 The good one is Kepha is their N-word.

01:00:17.000 But the Boers, the thing people don't get about the Boers in South Africa is they don't like other whites.

01:00:23.000 Like they don't like Greeks.

01:00:25.000 They don't like Americans.

01:00:29.000 Consider them the Amish.

01:00:30.000 That's a smarter way to see the Boers.

01:00:32.000 The Amish are not down.

01:00:33.000 If Amish really like themselves, you wouldn't call them white supremacists.

01:00:37.000 They don't get along with any other whites.

01:00:38.000 So the Boers, they call Greeks CN words, or more specifically, CAFAs.

01:00:47.000 So if you say to a South African, yeah, I was in Greece.

01:00:51.000 I mean, obviously the C Kaffirs get a little annoying, and the Lords go, oh, you got to watch that.

01:00:56.000 Wait, I'm doing it straight up.

01:00:58.000 You got to watch that.

01:00:58.000 New Zealand.

01:01:00.000 You don't say CKFer.

01:01:01.000 You have to watch that.

01:01:03.000 That is ready.

01:01:04.000 Ready.

01:01:05.000 What are you?

01:01:06.000 Are you some kind of puss?

01:01:06.000 Ready?

01:01:07.000 I'm not ready for you to say CKAFR.

01:01:11.000 Now I'm doing African.

01:01:12.000 It's really, it's dicey.

01:01:14.000 Why are you gay?

01:01:15.000 Why are you gay?

01:01:16.000 I'm not gay.

01:01:17.000 I was told that we cut that off way earlier and it gets better.

01:01:20.000 So we'll have to look into that.

01:01:22.000 Well, someone sent me the entire video.

01:01:23.000 Like, I have an hour and a half to watch African talk shows.

01:01:26.000 Apparently it gets better.

01:01:27.000 Why are you gay?

01:01:29.000 But the other thing about telling me to say that is I'm not you.

01:01:31.000 So I can't get out of that.

01:01:35.000 You know what I mean?

01:01:36.000 Like someone asked, why are you gay?

01:01:37.000 To say, no, the most inflammatory thing in whatever culture.

01:01:40.000 Like, go over there.

01:01:41.000 No, no, no.

01:01:41.000 But you're, you're, it's ignorance.

01:01:44.000 You're not calling her.

01:01:45.000 Ryan is talking about a person of color that he knows from South Africa.

01:01:50.000 And I said, work see Kafir into a sentence and she'll laugh.

01:01:54.000 Okay, so she would laugh.

01:01:55.000 Okay, okay.

01:01:56.000 Because it's a horrible thing to say about Greeks.

01:01:58.000 Anyway, she might not.

01:02:01.000 We have Kim Globis on the line.

01:02:04.000 Let's look her up.

01:02:05.000 Hello, boys.

01:02:07.000 I'm a little surprised.

01:02:09.000 Yeah.

01:02:09.000 I assumed it would be some dumb 21-year-old.

01:02:13.000 This woman has clearly been doing this for decades, and she has a Google search reveals in her repertoire.

01:02:22.000 I have a theory, and so it's probably going to be bad.

01:02:24.000 But she's older, right?

01:02:26.000 So this new technology of Googling comes out.

01:02:29.000 And by the way, you're developing Trump shoulderisms.

01:02:32.000 And because she's older, right?

01:02:34.000 Older.

01:02:35.000 Older.

01:02:36.000 Now she's not decrepit.

01:02:38.000 But she's an older lady.

01:02:39.000 Fragile.

01:02:42.000 Frankly.

01:02:43.000 Frankly.

01:02:44.000 She's not a zombie.

01:02:45.000 She's not falling apart.

01:02:46.000 I'm not saying that.

01:02:47.000 Great person.

01:02:48.000 Great girl.

01:02:49.000 But frankly, she takes Google a little too seriously.

01:02:59.000 Call me.

01:03:00.000 I'm not hard to find.

01:03:01.000 Maybe she's like the internet.

01:03:02.000 Call Enrique Tario.

01:03:04.000 more importantly.

01:03:05.000 Mm-hmm.

01:03:06.000 A Google search reveals this is And they'll go, a Google search reveals over 800,000 hits.

01:03:17.000 Planking is the new big thing.

01:03:19.000 And then for footage, instead of leaving their office, they show someone scrolling Google.

01:03:24.000 Yes.

01:03:24.000 And we just see a scroll board like, I don't have a fucking computer in my house.

01:03:29.000 A Google search also says the opposite.

01:03:32.000 Thanks for showing me how lazy you are, Kim Glovis.

01:03:35.000 Oops, that me.

01:03:36.000 There we go.

01:03:37.000 Kim Glovis.

01:03:38.000 Yeah, a couple people say that.

01:03:38.000 Is she divorced?

01:03:40.000 Let me look into her eyes.

01:03:40.000 What's her story?

01:03:41.000 I'm kind of like Sherlock Holmes with this.

01:03:49.000 It's yes on the divorce.

01:03:51.000 She has one daughter.

01:03:53.000 Her daughter is in college.

01:03:56.000 She's a little overbearing.

01:03:57.000 She was her first year.

01:04:00.000 Her husband remarried a woman similar to her age, which was kind of a culture shock to her.

01:04:07.000 It actually hurt her more than a trophy wife because a trophy wife would have meant, oh, they love you till you show your age.

01:04:13.000 Then they want to trade you in for a younger model.

01:04:16.000 But instead, he said, no, no, it's not your age.

01:04:19.000 It's your personality.

01:04:23.000 I think she's very lazy.

01:04:26.000 I don't think her heart is clearly not in it.

01:04:29.000 And yeah, she showed up late to work that day, and they said, we got this Proud Boys Fire Department thing.

01:04:34.000 And she goes, okay, I'll pound something out.

01:04:36.000 She wants to retire, I think.

01:04:38.000 She's getting money from the divorce.

01:04:40.000 The alimony is probably pretty friendly.

01:04:42.000 And she's just going through the motions now for these next two years.

01:04:45.000 Do you think it's kind of good that she didn't cite the SPLC?

01:04:49.000 She had to do Google search.

01:04:51.000 The Google search reveals they are an extremist group for white supremacists whose ultimate goal is violence.

01:04:58.000 Promoting violence.

01:04:58.000 But she couldn't say it.

01:04:59.000 She couldn't say it.

01:05:00.000 No, she's too lazy to say it.

01:05:01.000 But that line is pure SPLC.

01:05:03.000 Maybe that's you winning, though, because they're like, well, I can't say SPLC.

01:05:06.000 This is all fodder for the lawsuit, which is great.

01:05:08.000 Well, thank you.

01:05:09.000 More damages, the better.

01:05:10.000 Thanks, Kim.

01:05:11.000 Thanks, Chip.

01:05:12.000 Thanks, Kim.

01:05:12.000 And thanks, your lazy ass.

01:05:14.000 Greg and Tommy Keith.

01:05:16.000 Thank you to your husband for doling out so much alimony that you've lost your will to live.

01:05:23.000 By the way, speaking of alimony, did I tell you yesterday that who was that photographer who does the crying babies, Julia Greenberg?

01:05:32.000 Do you remember her?

01:05:33.000 What was her name again?

01:05:35.000 Julia Greenberg.

01:05:37.000 She is a successful photographer.

01:05:41.000 Yeah, you nailed it.

01:05:42.000 Julia Greenberg.

01:05:43.000 She's just went through a divorce.

01:05:47.000 Stop me if I've already said this.

01:05:49.000 But she pays her ex-husband alimony.

01:05:52.000 Their kids are basically grown.

01:05:53.000 They're teenagers.

01:05:54.000 They're ready for college like tomorrow.

01:05:56.000 This one kid's a Nazi.

01:05:58.000 And she has to pay.

01:06:00.000 Oh, that's disappointing.

01:06:01.000 He's so young.

01:06:02.000 And he likes a spock.

01:06:04.000 A trekking Hitler.

01:06:04.000 A lot.

01:06:07.000 So sad.

01:06:08.000 Not starting off good, kid.

01:06:09.000 That's a terrible beginning for a child.

01:06:12.000 She has to pay him alimony.

01:06:14.000 Did we talk about that?

01:06:15.000 That I don't remember, the alimony payment.

01:06:17.000 A woman paying a man.

01:06:17.000 Alimony.

01:06:19.000 And again, alimony was invented for the Nona stirring the spaghetti sauce, and you abandon her for some big-titted mistress, some gumar, and she's, I don't know how to do anything.

01:06:30.000 You need to give me some money so I can feed my babies that you abandon.

01:06:34.000 Getcha.

01:06:35.000 I gotcha.

01:06:36.000 That's fair.

01:06:38.000 But an empowered woman who's driven and the kids are gone, that's insane.

01:06:43.000 What's more insane is a woman, successful woman, paying a man.

01:06:49.000 That means he has to be like, hey, sorry, Julia.

01:06:53.000 I got a huge bachelor party.

01:06:55.000 A friend of mine's getting married.

01:06:56.000 Could I need my $230 from this week?

01:07:00.000 Like, does she call him and ask?

01:07:02.000 Sorry.

01:07:02.000 Does he call her?

01:07:03.000 See, my voice can't even do the right pronouns.

01:07:05.000 He calls up his ex-imagine calling your ex-wife and going, ding-dong.

01:07:10.000 Hey, check the mailbox and new De Niro's in there.

01:07:17.000 I'm going to need my, is it a monthly stipend?

01:07:20.000 I'm going to need my monthly stipend.

01:07:22.000 So I can go what?

01:07:23.000 Gambling with my friends?

01:07:25.000 So I can go to Keene's Steakhouse with my ex-wife's hard-earned money?

01:07:29.000 Dude, don't you have a semi, as my dad would say, would you like me to sew one of them back on?

01:07:36.000 Imagine being so much of a pussy, loser, wimp that you go to your ex-wife for fucking alimony.

01:07:46.000 Now, if she abandoned the kids and you gotta, you gotta pay for them and it's you're overwhelmed, you're busy, you gotta pay for a nanny and she's some rich bitch who just abandoned the family.

01:07:56.000 That happened with Tucker Carlson's mom, by the way.

01:07:56.000 I kind of get that.

01:07:59.000 She just went on some hippie-dippy trip and never came back.

01:08:02.000 I don't understand her sort of paying.

01:08:03.000 But even then, Tucker's dad didn't want any money.

01:08:06.000 He doesn't need it, but.

01:08:08.000 Reminds me of that song, this whole thing.

01:08:12.000 Julia Greenberg ping alimony.

01:08:17.000 Way to choose the weakest cover of that song.

01:08:20.000 It's a karaoke version.

01:08:22.000 Billy Idol was in a Punk Bank on Generation X. Punk was dying.

01:08:25.000 He, speaking of balls, says, I'm going to go to New York City and I'm going to start a new type of music called Dance Punk.

01:08:36.000 And I'll take Punk, but I'll add like a fucking drum machine and an 808 and I'll just sing like on the floors of Tokyo Ho.

01:08:44.000 That was actually a Generation X song.

01:08:46.000 But I'll sing fucking dance strange.

01:08:51.000 Like Eyes Without a Face.

01:08:53.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:08:56.000 I've seen in my peripheral vision you watching men fight.

01:08:59.000 So he's got the same technique that you were talking about where he kind of swats the hands away.

01:09:03.000 This is what a viewer has sent in.

01:09:05.000 Yeah, that's kind of a different thing.

01:09:06.000 But show it, show it.

01:09:08.000 Okay.

01:09:10.000 With the music?

01:09:11.000 With the music?

01:09:12.000 Yeah.

01:09:17.000 Oh, he's a southpaw.

01:09:18.000 I never noticed that before.

01:09:21.000 So he's doing what you do with a jab, where you're just trying to size out where his face is so you can do the right.

01:09:26.000 His jab is with his right hand.

01:09:28.000 I'm talking about a totally different thing.

01:09:30.000 You know how when you're a little kid, you can catch a fly and tie some dental floss to it and you have a pet fly?

01:09:34.000 I've never tried it.

01:09:35.000 Well, we used to do that as kids.

01:09:37.000 One time this kid, Clinton Bedecki, just saw it and he just killed it.

01:09:40.000 I had like a pet fly for a day floating around.

01:09:42.000 He's just like, hey, cool.

01:09:44.000 What an asshole.

01:09:44.000 Killed it.

01:09:45.000 Oh, he was a psycho.

01:09:47.000 But I'm saying you have two flies on strings and as they're trying to get into your body, you're just like, just a swarm of bees.

01:09:59.000 You're in his face.

01:10:01.000 It's a new fight move I invented that might end up being, you might start seeing it on TV.

01:10:07.000 He's a pet fly.

01:10:08.000 By the way, thanks, Keith, for that video.

01:10:10.000 Eyes without a face.

01:10:16.000 I don't think you should realize that that's honey.

01:10:20.000 There we go.

01:10:23.000 Eat.

01:10:24.000 I want to bring that fly on a plane as my security animal.

01:10:31.000 That's pretty great.

01:10:32.000 All right, last news item before we take calls.

01:10:35.000 I've got the funniest news sites now, and I think they're reliable.

01:10:38.000 I honestly wouldn't waste your time with some weird, potentially the onion type thing.

01:10:43.000 But two news sites I've been following a lot that are reliable are Laura Loomer's site, lauraloomer.us, and Paul Joseph Watson's site, summit.news.

01:10:56.000 But on Laura Loomer's site today, they talked about Google announced Tuesday the tech giant removed over 100,000 videos, 500 million comments, and permanently suspended more than 17,000 channels from its subsidiary platform, YouTube, in its second quarter of 2019.

01:11:21.000 Just the second quarter of 2019.

01:11:24.000 What's that, three months?

01:11:25.000 Just in three months, in an attempt to rid the internet of hate speech.

01:11:29.000 Now, To get back to Charlottesville, those people are white supremacists, extremists.

01:11:35.000 You got the right guys.

01:11:37.000 When you're bitching about Nazis all the time, alt-right, everything, those are the guys.

01:11:40.000 Jews are not repetitive.

01:11:41.000 Fine, you got them.

01:11:43.000 Good work.

01:11:44.000 That was 300 people, right?

01:11:46.000 Basically the totality of the far-right, alt-right, white supremacist, Nazi movement in America.

01:11:56.000 500 million comments?

01:12:00.000 That's not hate speech.

01:12:02.000 That is Trump speech.

01:12:04.000 What we clearly have going on here is big tech controlling the narrative so Trump doesn't win in 2020.

01:12:12.000 This is irrefutable.

01:12:15.000 Think of your life.

01:12:16.000 Think of how shocked you would be to meet a guy who goes, yeah, I'm a good guy.

01:12:22.000 I just think Jews run the world.

01:12:26.000 Blacks should go back to Africa.

01:12:28.000 And I hate homos.

01:12:31.000 You'd go, wait, are you kidding?

01:12:33.000 Come on.

01:12:34.000 No, Jews are evil.

01:12:36.000 Spawn is ain't.

01:12:37.000 People, of course, take that out of context.

01:12:39.000 And I wish all the cruise ships would get together and just, you know, have a constant fleet bringing them back.

01:12:44.000 I guess we split up black and white couples.

01:12:47.000 Gavin's wife's got to go.

01:12:49.000 Oh, she's from here.

01:12:50.000 Well, it's complicated, but let's get started at any rate.

01:12:54.000 You would go, you would talk about it for weeks.

01:12:57.000 You go, I actually met one of these weirdos, one of these 300 people out of 360 million.

01:13:01.000 500 million comments is not hate speech.

01:13:05.000 That is clearly Trump speech.

01:13:08.000 17,000 channels.

01:13:11.000 So they said, we've been removing harmful content since YouTube started, but our investment in this work has accelerated in recent years.

01:13:18.000 Oh, you mean the years getting closer to Trump's re-election?

01:13:21.000 Google said of its subsidiary YouTube, because of this ongoing...

01:13:27.000 Google said of its subsidiary YouTube.

01:13:29.000 Because of this ongoing work over the last 18 months, we've reduced views on videos that are later removed for violating our policies by 80%.

01:13:38.000 80%.

01:13:40.000 Wow.

01:13:42.000 Wow.

01:13:43.000 Wait a minute.

01:13:44.000 What are they saying?

01:13:45.000 We've reduced views on videos.

01:13:46.000 Yeah, they've reduced views on videos 80%.

01:13:49.000 That's pretty drastic.

01:13:51.000 And we're continuously working to reduce this number further.

01:13:54.000 My YouTube channel, I have insiders at YouTube, and they go, dude, you're not hanging by a thread.

01:13:59.000 You're hanging by a thread's pubes.

01:14:02.000 Like a micron.

01:14:03.000 Yeah.

01:14:04.000 A micron.

01:14:05.000 If you were to say, I hate anti-Semites, they'd kick you off for saying anti-Semite.

01:14:11.000 Like if you had a swastika with an X through it, you would get kicked off for having a swastika.

01:14:17.000 They are, because they've already tried, and I got legal really fast, and they turned it around.

01:14:23.000 But yeah, like even this Antifa Exposed video I'm planning to put up.

01:14:27.000 Oh, is that ready yet?

01:14:28.000 Yep.

01:14:29.000 Okay.

01:14:29.000 But before we put that up, I would like to talk about my bookie, which I don't think I made clear last time is my favorite betting site in the world.

01:14:40.000 And if you enter promo code Gavin, G-A-V-I-N, to activate the offer, you can get up to $1,000 doubled.

01:14:49.000 So go to mybookie.com, M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E dot com.

01:14:55.000 Enter the promo code Gavin.

01:14:57.000 Then you put in, say, 900 and no, let's do 1,000.

01:15:01.000 Put in $1,000.

01:15:02.000 You now have $2,000.

01:15:04.000 Wait a minute.

01:15:05.000 So you get $2,000.

01:15:07.000 Just bet $1,000.

01:15:08.000 Say you lose that, right?

01:15:10.000 You're back to $1,000.

01:15:12.000 You haven't lost a penny.

01:15:13.000 So this link, mybookie.com with the promo code Gavin, is a free thousand dollars.

01:15:20.000 And you can bet on anything.

01:15:22.000 I would bet on the Mets losing, especially if fucking Diaz is closing.

01:15:27.000 That guy's face, I look at his face.

01:15:29.000 He looks like a weird rat possum.

01:15:33.000 And I just want to bite him.

01:15:35.000 Diaz?

01:15:37.000 Diaz.

01:15:38.000 Have I got the name right?

01:15:38.000 The Mets, right?

01:15:39.000 Mets picture, yeah.

01:15:40.000 He looks like a pinhead.

01:15:42.000 You know those circus pinheads?

01:15:44.000 Oh, he does got a pinhead face.

01:15:46.000 He looks like hoops from Flavor of Love.

01:15:48.000 Look at him.

01:15:49.000 He looks like you're not good at drawing faces very well.

01:15:52.000 Yeah.

01:15:53.000 Oh, look at a big galoop.

01:15:55.000 He does have a rat face.

01:15:56.000 He looks like a Peruvian Aboriginal.

01:15:59.000 He looks like the guy who killed Trayvon, George Zimmerman.

01:16:03.000 A little bit.

01:16:04.000 George Zimmerman is a Peruvian, by the way.

01:16:09.000 So yeah, it's $1,000 free.

01:16:11.000 You can bet on just about anything.

01:16:13.000 Football, baseball.

01:16:17.000 You bet, you win, they pay.

01:16:19.000 MyBookie has live in-game betting on every NFL game.

01:16:22.000 They got the most rewarding player perks in the business.

01:16:25.000 And for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over-under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game.

01:16:34.000 Bet, win, get paid.

01:16:37.000 That's going to be my new slogan at the end of the show.

01:16:40.000 It's pretty cool.

01:16:40.000 And folks, again, my name is McInnes because my grandfather was a bookie before there was mybookie.com and thought no one would trust an Irishman, so changed his name from McGinnis to McInnes.

01:16:51.000 I'm considering changing it back just so people will pronounce my goddamn name right for a change.

01:16:55.000 That'll be the day they change their pronunciation.

01:16:58.000 That'll be the day.

01:17:01.000 It's funny the little stages.

01:17:02.000 Is this still true?

01:17:03.000 With my generation, Generation X, we had certain stages every single guy my age went through.

01:17:09.000 We had a Jimi Hendrix stage, we had a Buddy Holly stage, we had a Led Zupplin stage, we had a Beatles stage.

01:17:14.000 And those are the only things you listen to for that duration.

01:17:19.000 And sometimes you get full.

01:17:21.000 Like I drank too much eggnog once.

01:17:24.000 When I first discovered it, when I was like 10, I drank three big containers.

01:17:28.000 And now just saying the word eggnog makes me want to vomit.

01:17:30.000 Yeah, that makes my stuff.

01:17:31.000 And I'm the same way with Bob Marley.

01:17:33.000 Okay, I'm good for one lifetime of Bob.

01:17:36.000 No, thank you.

01:17:37.000 I'm stuffed.

01:17:39.000 Especially Legend.

01:17:41.000 Hearing Legend would be like drinking hot vodka in August.

01:17:46.000 That's one of the songs?

01:17:47.000 Legend?

01:17:48.000 What?

01:17:49.000 I don't know that song.

01:17:50.000 You're not familiar with the number one selling reggae album, possibly the album album of all time?

01:17:55.000 The album, yes.

01:17:57.000 I thought that was a song by him.

01:17:59.000 It's probably in the top 10 highest-selling albums of all time up there with bad out of hell.

01:18:05.000 Woke up this morning.

01:18:07.000 Why wouldn't you look up top 10 best-selling albums of all time?

01:18:10.000 Well, because I'm looking up Legend.

01:18:11.000 I want to see what songs are.

01:18:12.000 This isn't for you.

01:18:14.000 You're not working for Ryan Katsu Rivera.

01:18:18.000 We're trying to amuse people here.

01:18:19.000 Wait, top 10.

01:18:20.000 Oh, my God.

01:18:22.000 Top 10 greatest-selling albums, best-selling albums of all time.

01:18:27.000 And then put it up on the screen so the folks at home.

01:18:33.000 I just had a fantasy that you die.

01:18:35.000 Me too.

01:18:35.000 Oh, it is there.

01:18:36.000 What number is it?

01:18:38.000 Wait, they just show a bunch of albums?

01:18:40.000 What number is legend?

01:18:42.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

01:18:46.000 Oh!

01:18:47.000 Did you say that?

01:18:48.000 Like, what's his name?

01:18:49.000 Mitch Hedberg?

01:18:50.000 No.

01:18:51.000 It was close, though.

01:18:52.000 I saw a new Mitch Hedberg joke, and he goes, I believe in reincarnation, and I also have a bad...

01:19:01.000 So when I go to a museum, I say, I might have made that.

01:19:07.000 That's pretty good.

01:19:09.000 Fuck, he was good.

01:19:10.000 Until he met a cunt, and she got him into heroin, and heroin got him into a casket.

01:19:17.000 All right, let's show the Antifa thing.

01:19:20.000 And then, and I'm sorry, people listening to the podcast, you can't see all the awesome graphics that I'm about to supply.

01:19:29.000 But Ryan and I worked hard on this, and it is a good example of clown world.

01:19:36.000 Clown world.

01:19:37.000 Clown world.

01:19:45.000 Okay, wait.

01:19:46.000 Now we got to get back.

01:19:46.000 No.

01:19:47.000 You're seven screens over.

01:19:49.000 Yes.

01:19:50.000 Oh, and it says something has gone wrong.

01:19:52.000 Haven't you exported as a QuickTime video?

01:19:54.000 No, this is all good.

01:19:55.000 Yeah, it's all good.

01:19:56.000 We're the only show that's also behind the scenes.

01:20:00.000 You don't need to get the blooper wheel or the DVD extras.

01:20:02.000 You're in the extras.

01:20:04.000 Some people like that kind of thing.

01:20:07.000 Alright, so now An elevator closing?

01:20:11.000 To the video.

01:20:13.000 Oh, you got to play soccer, mommy?

01:20:14.000 music plays Why isn't anyone talking about that?

01:20:25.000 What about the Antifa flight?

01:20:26.000 Wait, why isn't anyone talking about that?

01:20:33.000 On October 12th, I did a talk at the Manhattan Republican Club, and it was hilarious.

01:20:39.000 Very multicultural crowd, too.

01:20:41.000 Old, young, gay, black, white.

01:20:42.000 Outside, there was rich white kids who were pissed off and screaming Nazi at us.

01:20:48.000 My set that night was basically just making fun of Antifa, and the humorless alt-left outside wasn't having it.

01:20:55.000 They had been harassing the venue for a week.

01:20:57.000 They glued the lock shut.

01:20:58.000 They smashed the windows.

01:20:59.000 They left a manifesto on the door saying, we are not civil, Hillary's quote.

01:21:04.000 This is only the beginning.

01:21:05.000 And they harassed all the people, even old ladies who were coming in to see my talk.

01:21:12.000 While I was in there making everyone laugh, there was a reporter outside.

01:21:16.000 And Antifa sensed that he might be pro-Trump.

01:21:20.000 So they beat the shit out of him.

01:21:24.000 And they stole his equipment.

01:21:26.000 Now, the police managed to get there.

01:21:28.000 They caught three of this mob, Kai Russo, Finbar Slonum, and Caleb Perkins.

01:21:35.000 I realize Kai and Finbar, who now goes by Solange, don't look very intimidating, but you have to understand they were just stupid and weak enough to get caught.

01:21:44.000 The rest of the mob filtered out.

01:21:45.000 They're led by this guy, Angel, who was on his phone all night calling the shots.

01:21:51.000 Caleb Perkins fought the cops when he was arrested, and he's fought the cops before.

01:21:55.000 That's his trademark.

01:21:57.000 About two years earlier, he was at a Black Lives Matter rally where he elbowed a cop in the face.

01:22:03.000 But whenever these far left foot soldiers of the DNC get in trouble, magical Antifa lawyer fairies just seem to appear.

01:22:11.000 And in the case of Caleb, the two years ago, what's her name?

01:22:17.000 Moira Meltzer-Cohen showed up.

01:22:20.000 She describes herself as someone who believes the relationship between law and justice is shaped by my commitment to radical social movements.

01:22:27.000 She uses the pronouns she and they.

01:22:30.000 And so if you're talking about her, you say they are admitted to practice law in New York State.

01:22:36.000 So they also represented Antifa stalwart Chelsea Manning, who, along with Vic Berger, doxed Cernovich's Night for Freedom, wherein Antifa quickly showed up and beat a Jewish man within an inch of his life because they thought he was a Nazi.

01:22:56.000 So the journalist was attacked.

01:22:59.000 He shows up in court.

01:23:00.000 He wants them prosecuted.

01:23:03.000 Nothing happens.

01:23:04.000 No media attention.

01:23:06.000 No reputations tarnished.

01:23:08.000 No criminal records.

01:23:10.000 Zero punishment for this hate crime.

01:23:14.000 They beat him up because they assumed that he was a Trump supporter and they robbed him.

01:23:20.000 Those are felonies.

01:23:21.000 When you beat the crap out of someone in a mob and take their stuff, especially a journalist, that's a felony.

01:23:27.000 Zero charges.

01:23:29.000 Conversely, at the end of the night, Antifa were dispersed.

01:23:33.000 They went around the block.

01:23:34.000 Six individuals circled the block and K 82nd Street lapsed apart to try to intercept the group.

01:23:41.000 They formed a human wall.

01:23:43.000 They whipped a bottle of piss at Proud Boys.

01:23:47.000 One of the Max Hair ran up, took off his mask.

01:23:49.000 They demasked them all.

01:23:50.000 You can see what they look like here.

01:23:52.000 And the police showed up and said, do you want to press charges?

01:23:55.000 The Antifa, who had just been beaten up for attacking them, said, fuck you, pig.

01:24:00.000 Alrighty then.

01:24:02.000 There's nothing to do here.

01:24:03.000 There's no victims.

01:24:04.000 When you have an assault charge, you're supposed to have hospital records and police reports.

01:24:09.000 No victims, no crime.

01:24:10.000 They said, get lost, pig.

01:24:11.000 We're fine.

01:24:13.000 But this had become politicized now.

01:24:16.000 And we had de Blasio and the Attorney General and the governor saying, we won't tolerate hate.

01:24:22.000 Everything that the politicians described about that Proud Boys fight totally relates to the Antifa fight.

01:24:28.000 We will not tolerate hate in our Town randomly attacking someone because of their views.

01:24:33.000 Yeah, guys, you're right, but you got the wrong fight.

01:24:38.000 So the trial happens, a total clown world shit show.

01:24:42.000 I am all over the trial, as predicted.

01:24:44.000 That's why I quit the Proud Boys, so they wouldn't be able to use me in this trial.

01:24:47.000 They used me anyway, and they made up stories.

01:24:50.000 Like at one point, there's a black conservative that comes on defending the Proud Boys, and the DA says, do you think it's funny when Gavin McInnes describes Obama as a monkey?

01:25:00.000 I've never said that in my life.

01:25:02.000 And the black conservative stand goes, well, not really, not in that context.

01:25:05.000 They had this Antifa journalist who they showed a picture of her giving Trump Tower the finger.

01:25:11.000 The defense did to show that she's not a reliable source.

01:25:14.000 She starts having a panic attack and screaming, I recognize my Rolex watch.

01:25:17.000 Like, that's the level.

01:25:18.000 They had the ADL in there.

01:25:20.000 No one takes the ADL seriously.

01:25:22.000 Law enforcement isn't supposed to listen to the ADL anymore.

01:25:25.000 But they're in the trial.

01:25:26.000 And now these guys are facing 15 years.

01:25:29.000 One of them, by the way, is already in prison.

01:25:31.000 He's jail, sorry.

01:25:32.000 He's in Rikers doing 40 weekends, Jeffrey Young.

01:25:34.000 His dad was a cop.

01:25:35.000 His dad said, what?

01:25:36.000 You were barely in the fight.

01:25:37.000 This is just a stupid barroom brawl with guys that started it.

01:25:42.000 And the reporting on the trial was even more clown world.

01:25:45.000 At one point, John keeps telling the reporters to get out of his face, and he goes like this.

01:25:51.000 The photographer gets nice and low and gets a shot to make the hand look higher and accused him of giving a Roman salute.

01:26:00.000 And when Rolling Stone was reporting on it, they must have spent like a day photoshopping my image to look sinister.

01:26:09.000 And the sentencing hasn't happened yet.

01:26:13.000 We're appealing it.

01:26:14.000 I'd love to start a fundraiser, but we can't because this video will get taken down and the fundraiser will get closed down because you're not allowed to have legal representation.

01:26:22.000 not allowed to pay for your appeal to try to to get some sense into the courtroom that's not Harvey Weinstein can, but not patriotic Trump supporters.

01:26:33.000 And I'm reminded of that NBC interview with the Covington Catholic School Kids where she said, you just stood there.

01:26:40.000 You stood your ground.

01:26:41.000 There's something aggressive about standing there, standing your ground.

01:26:46.000 And it has become aggressive to stand your ground.

01:26:49.000 Standing your ground means you will lose your reputation.

01:26:52.000 Standing your ground means you will get fired.

01:26:56.000 Standing your ground means you will go to prison.

01:26:59.000 So what's the solution?

01:27:01.000 Stand your ground.

01:27:02.000 Stand your ground.

01:27:19.000 That is a high quality video.

01:27:23.000 And folks, you could, you cheapskates who don't pay for the membership can't see the overwhelming barrage of images we had.

01:27:33.000 Nor can you see Johnny Apple CBD.

01:27:38.000 It's a CBD site, jacbd.com.

01:27:43.000 Get it?

01:27:43.000 It's a play on words with Johnny Appleseed.

01:27:46.000 Did you know Johnny Appleseed, by the way, not Johnny Apple CBD?

01:27:51.000 That's a different person.

01:27:52.000 I'm talking about the real Johnny Appleseed.

01:27:55.000 Those apples were not for consumption.

01:27:58.000 Really?

01:27:59.000 Apples have only been sweet for the past maybe 80 years, 100 years at the most.

01:28:04.000 Oh, is that for mead or something?

01:28:05.000 We've bred mead.

01:28:07.000 Mead?

01:28:08.000 Yes.

01:28:09.000 Wow, I hope all you teachers from the South Bronx listen to this show and see the kind of education you have provided the people of your community.

01:28:18.000 Johnny Apple Mead.

01:28:20.000 This guy, one of your students from the Bronx, thinks that mead is what you get when you ferment apples to make alcohol.

01:28:29.000 It wouldn't be apple cider.

01:28:30.000 It would be honey mead.

01:28:34.000 What do you make with bourbon?

01:28:35.000 Apple bourbon?

01:28:37.000 I don't know.

01:28:39.000 Mead is honey, dude.

01:28:40.000 It's the original beer.

01:28:41.000 It's what Friar Tuck and all those guys drink.

01:28:44.000 Anyway, he would go on the outskirts of the pioneers and he would go like 10, 20 miles ahead of them, plant all these apple trees, and by the time they made it there, the apple trees were thriving, right?

01:28:59.000 And then he would sell them the apples.

01:29:01.000 They would ferment the apples and make it into booze because everyone was pissed during the colonization of America because it was stressful with the Indians and it was hard to find good water.

01:29:11.000 So if you drank booze, you can get sort of hydrated and know that you're not going to die.

01:29:17.000 So booze was an integral part of the discovery of America.

01:29:20.000 And apple cider was an integral part of booze.

01:29:22.000 And Johnny Appleseed was a crucial part of that process.

01:29:26.000 And this all counts as the read, by the way.

01:29:29.000 Right?

01:29:29.000 Because people have JACBD.com in their head.

01:29:34.000 Johnny Apple is a most trusted brand in CBD since 2015.

01:29:38.000 It's American-made products with third-party lab testing using U.S. grown hemp.

01:29:42.000 Johnny Apple CBD will give you the greatest sleep of your life, help alleviate your anxiety, reduce your stress, and it's great for athletic recovery.

01:29:49.000 In fact, they talk about it at my gym all the time.

01:29:51.000 CBD is a great anti-inflammatory.

01:29:54.000 Use the ointment after a workout or a long day of defending yourself against Antifa.

01:29:59.000 Super fast, discreet, and free shipping across the U.S. Potent tinctures, fast-absorbing gummies, soothing ointments, natural supplements, simple-to-use vape products, and much more.

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01:30:15.000 Use the code GAVIN, G-A-V-I-N, at checkout for 20% off.

01:30:20.000 Support free speech businesses.

01:30:22.000 Support this show.

01:30:24.000 Every time you go to jacbd.com or my bookie, my sponsors go, oh, I guess it works.

01:30:30.000 And this show continues.

01:30:31.000 That's jacbd.com.

01:30:35.000 And the promo code is Gavin.

01:30:37.000 I think we're ready for some calls.

01:30:40.000 I think so as well.

01:30:42.000 As well, as well, as well.

01:30:45.000 That's another sound when you're in the soundboard.

01:30:46.000 The guy from Bone Thugs and Harmony cracked out of his mind.

01:30:49.000 Well, yeah, if you will.

01:30:52.000 Jordan from Dakota.

01:30:54.000 Hey, Jordan.

01:30:58.000 Can you hear me?

01:31:01.000 Hi, Jordan.

01:31:02.000 Can you hear me?

01:31:02.000 Yep.

01:31:03.000 Yep.

01:31:03.000 All right.

01:31:05.000 Yeah, hey, I I wrote a letter that never got read, but I challenged Ryan to a boxing match.

01:31:13.000 Oh, yeah?

01:31:14.000 Oh, is this John?

01:31:18.000 No, no, it's Jordan.

01:31:20.000 Okay.

01:31:20.000 Wait, how long does it take you to, first of all, Ryan, the caller's name is Jordan, and you say, is this John?

01:31:26.000 And then secondly, Jordan, why does it take you an hour to answer, are you John?

01:31:33.000 It sounds like it's a leg, but no, I'm not John.

01:31:38.000 How is that going to, who's going to pay for the flight?

01:31:40.000 Like, getting Copper Cab up here to fight cost me an arm and a leg.

01:31:44.000 I had to make sure he had food money when he landed in New York.

01:31:48.000 So who pays for all this?

01:31:49.000 Do you fly up here?

01:31:50.000 Did we fly Ryan down there?

01:31:54.000 Well, that's the thing.

01:31:55.000 I nailed him the letter.

01:31:56.000 I mentioned how I would bring my own food monies.

01:31:59.000 So it was a good letter.

01:32:00.000 And you could still find it.

01:32:03.000 It'd be good for Ryan's mailbag since I sat through the first one that was atrocious.

01:32:08.000 He said atrocious.

01:32:09.000 I was hoping he'd maybe read my letter.

01:32:12.000 Okay, well, thanks for your call, sir, but we don't listen to people who use the word atrocious.

01:32:17.000 Ryan, do you want to have a look at that letter?

01:32:19.000 Did you hang up on him yet?

01:32:20.000 No, I will.

01:32:21.000 You hang up on the guy as soon as I say anything remotely like, thanks for your call.

01:32:26.000 Bye, Jordan.

01:32:27.000 Fuck, you're tooling around on trying to find the letter.

01:32:31.000 But you asked me if I found the letter.

01:32:36.000 All right.

01:32:36.000 When you're running the callers, you want to get in and out super fast.

01:32:40.000 Steve.

01:32:41.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:32:41.000 Now go back to the letter.

01:32:42.000 Have you read the letter?

01:32:43.000 Is it as good as he said?

01:32:44.000 I'm going to read on my mailbag.

01:32:45.000 It's a teaser.

01:32:46.000 Okay.

01:32:47.000 So we are bringing back Ryan's mailbag.

01:32:49.000 He's going to be much more succinct and talk about his stupid shows like Jeff the Shep and the Grimy Corner, whatever the hell he works on.

01:32:57.000 That is the boomerang thing I've ever heard you say.

01:33:00.000 Yeah.

01:33:01.000 All right.

01:33:01.000 Steve, hey, liberal bullshit.

01:33:05.000 Yeah.

01:33:05.000 I'm wondering, if gender is a social construct, then clearly race must also be a social construct.

01:33:12.000 So I encourage anyone who is suffering from white guilt to simply self-identify as a different race to absolve yourself of any of that garbage.

01:33:20.000 And additionally, how can young men distinguish between real boobs and a well-done fake boob job?

01:33:28.000 I'll leave it to you, Jeff.

01:33:29.000 Thank you, Steve.

01:33:30.000 Thank you for your call, Steve.

01:33:31.000 I haven't had any trouble, but I haven't had that many faked hits.

01:33:36.000 If you felt a lot of fake tits, I've dated a lot of strippers, and not only can you feel the bags, you can feel the seam of the bag.

01:33:45.000 Yeesh.

01:33:46.000 So in Canada, the way we get milk is they come in milk bags, and then you put the milk bag in your pour thing, and you cut the corners, and then you pour it.

01:33:52.000 So I can't get the milk bag seam out of my mind when I'm touching your fake tits.

01:33:58.000 And again, my dad could have faked hits.

01:34:01.000 So it's not sexual.

01:34:03.000 I don't understand.

01:34:04.000 I met one guy who loves fake tits in my life, and I wanted to put him in Plexiglass and charge people money to talk to him.

01:34:11.000 Ladies, you never asked us about fake tits.

01:34:14.000 Now, that being said, I'm not the biggest fan in the world of total and utter pancakes, and I guess fake tits are slightly better than that, but not much.

01:34:24.000 I dated this ex-escort once.

01:34:28.000 She was a cam girl.

01:34:29.000 And I didn't know her when she did that.

01:34:31.000 I just noticed she was stunning.

01:34:34.000 And I've told this story a million times, but she would lecture me on her tits and how I don't pay enough attention to them.

01:34:42.000 Because every other square centimeter of her body got hours of attention.

01:34:46.000 But I would be like kissing her face and her neck.

01:34:49.000 And then I would be on the way down to the zone.

01:34:52.000 And I'd have to stop for a tit stop at the pit stop.

01:34:55.000 And I would just sort of go, alrighty.

01:35:00.000 Alrighty then.

01:35:01.000 And then do the belly.

01:35:02.000 And I just, I couldn't, they ruined the vibe.

01:35:05.000 That's sad.

01:35:06.000 And to get back to your first point caller, and I'm sick of these two-point calls.

01:35:10.000 You get one point per call.

01:35:12.000 That was Dave Chappelle's bit in his new special.

01:35:15.000 He said, he can't stop laughing at transgender.

01:35:18.000 Don't you think it's funny that you'd be born in a different body?

01:35:21.000 And then he says, imagine I was born Chinese and I was like, hi, what are you doing?

01:35:26.000 And people go, stop doing that, Dave.

01:35:27.000 You go, no, no, no, it's not a racist thing.

01:35:29.000 This is who I am.

01:35:30.000 Y'all would think that was funny.

01:35:33.000 By the way, ew.

01:35:35.000 What's that?

01:35:35.000 Oh, that's what breast implants look like after a while.

01:35:40.000 Here's a question.

01:35:41.000 If you are a woman and you have a double mastectomy or even a one, a single mastectomy, should you get a fake tit?

01:35:48.000 Yeah.

01:35:49.000 So so far, ladies, they're better than a giant scar.

01:35:49.000 Absolutely.

01:35:53.000 Oh, what about this?

01:35:54.000 You don't have a nipple anymore when you have your tits removed.

01:35:56.000 Should you get a tattoo of a nipple?

01:35:58.000 I have a friend, Melissa, who did this, and she said they can make a nipple, but they cut it off your thigh, and then they sew it on, and you have a fucking hole in your thigh, and it kills.

01:36:09.000 That's awful.

01:36:10.000 Or there's tattoo artists, like the guy who did my back piece, Anthony Civarelli of Lotus Tattoo, the singer of Gorilla Biscuits.

01:36:16.000 He can do like a perfect nipple.

01:36:19.000 And I say go for it.

01:36:21.000 Because when you're looking down, just aesthetically, you're reminded of a tit.

01:36:24.000 You know, it's not a real tit, but whatever.

01:36:26.000 Yeah.

01:36:27.000 Although, you know what?

01:36:28.000 If I was with a woman who had a double mastectomy, I'd probably just say leave the bra.

01:36:34.000 There you go.

01:36:36.000 Well, that's a good idea.

01:36:37.000 They would call me LeBraon James.

01:36:39.000 Because I'd be like, leave that bra on.

01:36:42.000 Anyway, so yeah, another call?

01:36:45.000 Yep.

01:36:46.000 All right.

01:36:47.000 Viral video I saw yesterday.

01:36:50.000 It's not going viral.

01:36:52.000 Mike or something.

01:36:54.000 Hey, Mike.

01:36:55.000 Hey, guys.

01:36:57.000 Hey, I sent the video, I believe, to the mailbag and also to Ryan's Instagram, but I saw this video that took place at Dodgers Stadium two days ago when the Dodgers, or no, I'm sorry, Arizona at Chasefield, the Dodgers were playing the Diamondbacks, and a lady doing an Operation flag drop, I guess, a 2020 flag.

01:37:13.000 They hung over the railing.

01:37:15.000 She was getting escorted out of the stadium, but she was being a little bit, you know, abrasive and not leaving.

01:37:20.000 A security guard came down.

01:37:22.000 He was clearly triggered by the fact that it was a Trump 2020 flag.

01:37:26.000 And he pulled a knife out to cut the flag off, but it was connected to her wrist.

01:37:30.000 And he basically, I mean, it came close to getting really bad and the knife going into her stomach as far as from my thoughts from the video.

01:37:38.000 But I can't find the video going viral anywhere or on any news site.

01:37:42.000 But it looks like something that, you know, cables were turned would be over, like it would be on the news.

01:37:47.000 So I was wondering if you could maybe check the middle back or something.

01:37:50.000 Is this a case of black privilege?

01:37:51.000 Was the security guard black?

01:37:53.000 Was the security guard black?

01:37:53.000 What's that?

01:37:55.000 Oh, that's why it's not on the news.

01:37:57.000 Have you heard anything about this woman who threw a Molotov cocktail into the ICE headquarters?

01:38:04.000 Only I saw it on Tim Pool.

01:38:07.000 He did a video on his YouTube.

01:38:09.000 That's the only thing I saw it on.

01:38:11.000 Yeah, that's totally forgotten.

01:38:13.000 Or how about D'Angelo Parnell, 17, has been charged with nine counts of attempted murder after shooting up a football game?

01:38:22.000 Zero recognition on the news.

01:38:25.000 I haven't seen that one.

01:38:27.000 All right.

01:38:27.000 Well, thanks for calling, caller.

01:38:29.000 Thank you.

01:38:30.000 We will definitely look up that video.

01:38:33.000 Again, Ryan, focus on the hang-up before you go try to find it.

01:38:38.000 He's gone.

01:38:39.000 He hung up on himself.

01:38:41.000 No.

01:38:42.000 Do you have the video?

01:38:44.000 Yes.

01:38:45.000 Folks at home, you should understand that Ryan doesn't read the letters.

01:38:49.000 He puts in his five hours a day, and then he just like naps and listens to podcasts like Grimy Corner or Jeff the Chef.

01:38:56.000 I played guitar yesterday.

01:38:58.000 Played guitar.

01:38:59.000 And I'm getting better.

01:39:03.000 Do you have the video or not?

01:39:05.000 I thought I did.

01:39:06.000 Well, don't you have the letter?

01:39:06.000 It was a guy.

01:39:08.000 No, that.

01:39:09.000 How can you not read letters?

01:39:11.000 That I was looking forward to.

01:39:12.000 Remember that last year there was a massive flag that unfurled, a huge banner, and it said, racism is as American as baseball.

01:39:12.000 You know what?

01:39:23.000 And first of all, that makes racism look awesome.

01:39:26.000 So that was a dumb thing you did because you did it at a baseball stadium during a game.

01:39:30.000 So everyone who's watching is going, oh, cool.

01:39:33.000 I guess I like racism then because I really like baseball.

01:39:37.000 But is there a stupider notion than calling baseball racist?

01:39:41.000 Where I wouldn't be surprised if non-Hispanic whites are a minority.

01:39:46.000 It's perfectly normal to see an interview with a baseball player in Spanish where he has to have the questions translated.

01:39:54.000 The idea that you're a racist watching baseball.

01:39:58.000 Goddamn Spix, get off the field.

01:40:02.000 Yeah, that's why I hate Diaz because he's Hispanic.

01:40:05.000 You take the Hispanic man, especially under the Mets.

01:40:08.000 What is left?

01:40:10.000 So it's like accusing people who like boxing as being racist.

01:40:16.000 You can't, there's no room for racism in sports, literally.

01:40:20.000 You'd be exhausted.

01:40:21.000 I mean, name a sport.

01:40:22.000 If you were a racist and you didn't want non-whites in it, the sport would have like 32 guys in it.

01:40:29.000 Let's go watch a basketball game with no blacks.

01:40:33.000 So what the fuck are they talking about?

01:40:37.000 I really think that banner should have got more attention because it couldn't be easier to disprove.

01:40:42.000 What do you got now?

01:40:46.000 I hate that kind of head.

01:40:48.000 I got to get the audio back.

01:40:48.000 Hold on one second.

01:40:50.000 What are you doing now?

01:40:52.000 Did you definitely find video?

01:40:53.000 I wasn't in the first video tonight, so I'm going to give you that now.

01:40:56.000 Amy Schumer.

01:41:02.000 Looks to be Latina.

01:41:04.000 Because she's got a Trump hat on.

01:41:06.000 Is someone mad at her?

01:41:07.000 That security guard.

01:41:11.000 Oh, she's holding up a Trump banner.

01:41:12.000 You see that?

01:41:14.000 Oh, yes, okay.

01:41:16.000 Get off right now, wait.

01:41:19.000 It's all right.

01:41:20.000 It's not two years ago, okay, man?

01:41:21.000 I don't know what you have to do, man.

01:41:23.000 Wait a minute.

01:41:24.000 Is that the same one that that guy was laughing at?

01:41:26.000 Remember?

01:41:28.000 No, it wasn't.

01:41:28.000 It isn't.

01:41:30.000 I understand his point.

01:41:32.000 We don't want banners here.

01:41:33.000 It's not a political thing.

01:41:34.000 I love Trump, but I could see that.

01:41:36.000 It might be in someone else's eyes.

01:41:37.000 All right, you made your point.

01:41:38.000 Let's take it down.

01:41:39.000 I'm on his side right now.

01:41:41.000 I'm on both of their sides at the beginning.

01:41:43.000 At some point, he has a knife.

01:41:44.000 There's 11 fucking minutes here.

01:41:47.000 Maybe that's why it hasn't gone viral, dude.

01:41:49.000 Now the black security guard pulls out a machete.

01:41:54.000 Why are you given?

01:41:59.000 Don't be fighting over a railing, lady.

01:42:02.000 Jesus, these women with this infinite hubris, they're making me very uncomfortable.

01:42:06.000 She flies over that railing, she's dead.

01:42:08.000 Yeah.

01:42:09.000 Stop it.

01:42:09.000 He's trying to get behind her.

01:42:12.000 She flips.

01:42:13.000 That's it.

01:42:15.000 What is she doing?

01:42:19.000 Dude, this video sucks.

01:42:22.000 Thanks for wasting our time.

01:42:24.000 Wait, I think here comes the knife.

01:42:25.000 There it goes.

01:42:26.000 Knife?

01:42:28.000 Wow.

01:42:30.000 He's being a little irresponsible with that.

01:42:32.000 Yeah, that was stupid.

01:42:34.000 Now he dropped it.

01:42:37.000 That was idiotic.

01:42:39.000 But this is not a viral video, dude.

01:42:41.000 Okay, new rule.

01:42:42.000 When people call us and say, check out this video, from now on, we say, all right, thank you very much, sir.

01:42:48.000 We will definitely look into that.

01:42:50.000 And in this case, we would have flushed it down the toilet where it belongs.

01:42:53.000 I wonder why this video didn't go viral.

01:42:56.000 God damn.

01:42:57.000 I have way too much faith in people.

01:42:59.000 I got to stop that.

01:43:00.000 I got to be more dubious.

01:43:02.000 I have to be more of a dick.

01:43:04.000 Thank you, sir, for making us more of a dick.

01:43:08.000 Next shitty call I'm reading from a sponsor.

01:43:11.000 Hey, Jay.

01:43:11.000 Punish you.

01:43:15.000 My brother, can you hear me all right?

01:43:17.000 Yep.

01:43:19.000 It's all good, man.

01:43:20.000 I just also had a fantasy about Ryan dying, and I was really sad for a minute.

01:43:26.000 Nice job on the app.

01:43:27.000 So did a bunch of bugs for me.

01:43:30.000 And I love the last and the comedy.

01:43:32.000 They're sorely needed these days.

01:43:33.000 Brother, I wonder, outside of Rogan and Ezra, who's dropped you because there's, quote, you know, you've got a hive of bees around you or bees flying around you.

01:43:43.000 And who's stood beside you?

01:43:45.000 I hope that you sue the SPLC into bankruptcy.

01:43:50.000 And thanks for taking my call.

01:43:51.000 I'll listen online.

01:43:52.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:43:53.000 Peace out, y'all.

01:43:54.000 Perfect.

01:43:55.000 That was a good one, except he had a fantasy about you dying and he felt sad.

01:44:01.000 Yeah, he didn't like it.

01:44:02.000 I think he means he had a dream.

01:44:04.000 No, no, he was probably like a nightmare, maybe.

01:44:07.000 But no one fantasizes.

01:44:09.000 You don't feel bad about your fantasies.

01:44:11.000 I don't feel bad about Eva Mendez and Lucy Lou wrestling over who gets to blow me first.

01:44:16.000 He imagined it.

01:44:18.000 Okay, that's not a fantasy, dude.

01:44:22.000 I think it's easier to list who didn't abandon me.

01:44:25.000 That would be Laura Loomer, Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones, then like Jack Pisobic, Cassandra Fairbanks, all those sort of weirdo misfit toys on the right.

01:44:40.000 What about liberals who didn't screw me over?

01:44:43.000 I don't want to say their names because they didn't go public about it, and I don't want to ruin their careers, but very few.

01:44:50.000 Out of this sort of LA funny scene, I can think of one.

01:44:55.000 And he's getting in shit because he goes to parties and he doesn't disparage Trump enough.

01:45:01.000 He doesn't wear a Trump shirt, but they're all bitching about Trump and then look over at him and he's like, that's wearing a Klansman uniform in L.A. Gotcha.

01:45:12.000 So yeah, and Dave Rubin, by the way, he had abandoned me back like maybe two years ago.

01:45:18.000 He was already like, yeah, I'd love to get you on the show, but James O'Keeffe didn't abandon you.

01:45:24.000 James O'Keeffe, that's another good one.

01:45:26.000 But he's not someone who hosts people.

01:45:30.000 He did appear on my show, though, with the drop of a hat.

01:45:32.000 So James O'Keeffe's a good example.

01:45:36.000 Oh, Iowa.

01:45:37.000 Anthony Kumia.

01:45:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:40.000 Iowa?

01:45:41.000 That's all it says?

01:45:42.000 Okay.

01:45:43.000 Go, Iowa.

01:45:44.000 Hello?

01:45:45.000 Hey, man.

01:45:47.000 Hey, G-Dog.

01:45:48.000 I know you have your book, Death of Cool, that talks about your life and everything, but I was wondering, since books are for fags, I don't want to read it, if you're going to do a free speech presents about your life, basically, and how you got where you're at.

01:46:01.000 Sorry.

01:46:02.000 Thanks.

01:46:03.000 This call isn't crystal clear, and Ryan decided to start slam dancing during the call.

01:46:08.000 What are you doing over there?

01:46:09.000 You didn't hear it?

01:46:10.000 No, I couldn't hear anything.

01:46:11.000 You're dancing around, knocking shit over, stretching, because you're an old lady with a weak stomach on a sore back.

01:46:17.000 I dropped my Buzz Lightyear.

01:46:20.000 Oh, shit.

01:46:21.000 Interrupt the call.

01:46:21.000 One of your toys fell.

01:46:23.000 I heard it loud and clear.

01:46:24.000 I can tell you what he said.

01:46:25.000 Okay, please tell me what he said.

01:46:26.000 He said that you wrote the book Death of Cool, but books are for fags, so he's wrong.

01:46:30.000 If you'll do a free speech presents about your life and how you got to where you are, like you more than a friend.

01:46:35.000 No.

01:46:35.000 Buy the book.

01:46:37.000 Next call.

01:46:40.000 Okay.

01:46:41.000 Maybe being gay.

01:46:43.000 Okay.

01:46:46.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:46:47.000 Hello.

01:46:48.000 Hello there.

01:46:49.000 I got done with work the other day.

01:46:52.000 And it was a great day.

01:46:53.000 Good day outside working.

01:46:54.000 And I turned the radio on.

01:46:56.000 Okay, bear with me.

01:46:58.000 And the soundtrack to Footloose came off.

01:47:02.000 Now, I didn't know what it was at the time, but I was really jamming out to it.

01:47:07.000 Am I gay?

01:47:08.000 That's a great question, man.

01:47:10.000 And we've all been there.

01:47:11.000 Like, you'll hear a jam, and you go, oh, this is kind of a cool beat.

01:47:17.000 I never heard this song before.

01:47:18.000 I'm kind of into it.

01:47:19.000 And they go, and that was Culture Club with Karma, Karma, Karma, Chameleon.

01:47:24.000 All right.

01:47:25.000 Coming up next, we have Depeche Mode on K-R-E-T-C.

01:47:29.000 And you go, what the?

01:47:30.000 You feel dirty inside.

01:47:32.000 Because you go, I just enjoyed Careless Whisper.

01:47:36.000 I just enjoyed Shout.

01:47:38.000 No, you're not gay.

01:47:41.000 It's perfectly normal to enjoy Kenny Loggins, who has a beard, by the way.

01:47:45.000 If you want to know what music makes you gay, just check in with whatever Ryan listens to.

01:47:50.000 And he likes stuff like, it feels good to be a woman.

01:47:55.000 And so you're Brad Pitt.

01:47:57.000 That don't impress me much.

01:48:02.000 Yeah, he likes bands like Soccer Mommy.

01:48:05.000 Just that one song.

01:48:06.000 You can enjoy Depeche Mode.

01:48:08.000 You can enjoy Tears for Fears, Culture Club, George Michael, Michael Jackson, The Rapist.

01:48:19.000 Show.

01:48:20.000 Let it all.

01:48:22.000 Let it all out.

01:48:23.000 And you need those for karaoke, too.

01:48:25.000 You got to expand your repertoire.

01:48:28.000 There's not many masculine songs at karaoke.

01:48:30.000 I just do the clash.

01:48:33.000 You say you stand by your man.

01:48:36.000 That was terrible.

01:48:37.000 That wasn't good.

01:48:40.000 London Calling is a good one because you get to be the cool guy.

01:48:44.000 You're like, London calling, yes, I was there too.

01:48:48.000 And you know what they say?

01:48:49.000 Well, some of it was true.

01:48:52.000 Is that the words?

01:48:54.000 Yeah.

01:48:55.000 Okay.

01:48:56.000 London calling.

01:48:57.000 Yeah, I don't want to shout.

01:48:59.000 The phony beetle mania is bitten the dust.

01:49:04.000 So speaking of London, are you done?

01:49:07.000 Yeah.

01:49:07.000 Okay.

01:49:09.000 We have Texas calling.

01:49:10.000 Stop dropping your stupid toys, you infant.

01:49:15.000 Nick, you're on the line.

01:49:18.000 Hey, Gav.

01:49:19.000 I realize I only have one thing to talk about now, but what's your policy on towels?

01:49:24.000 Do you wait like a week until you change your towel or like two weeks or is it like a next-day thing?

01:49:31.000 Good question, sir.

01:49:32.000 Thank you for calling.

01:49:35.000 I would just like to, before I get into this, I would like to quote the comedian Red Fox and his seminal album, You Gots to Wash Your Ass.

01:49:48.000 So when I give these instructions, I'm assuming that you took the soap bar and you basically murdered your butthole.

01:49:56.000 You were just really like and then you were like a Muslim wiping his ass after, just going.

01:50:07.000 So your anus, you wouldn't feel uncomfortable if your mother was to eat strawberry jam off your butthole.

01:50:14.000 So assuming that's true, the rest is just like your penis is clean, your foreskin's forward, everything is spotless here.

01:50:21.000 Like Milo got really mad at me about this.

01:50:23.000 He goes, I'm never showering at your home, ever, which probably wasn't going to come up anyway, Milo.

01:50:30.000 But you're drying off a clean thing.

01:50:32.000 It should be like drying off a mug that just came out of the dishwasher.

01:50:36.000 So I would say once, I would say basically never until you smell them and you go, oh, that's kind of musty.

01:50:44.000 I don't know how it got musty because I assume you hang it up right after so it dries.

01:50:48.000 That's the key.

01:50:49.000 If you leave it on a ball on the floor like Ryan does, I do not.

01:50:52.000 It's going to be musty.

01:50:53.000 But if you're constantly spotless when you get out of the shower, and that only takes a minute and a half, I already made it clear that shower should be a minute and a half.

01:51:01.000 You can get all this.

01:51:02.000 You only have one, two, three, four spots to clean.

01:51:05.000 You don't wash your fucking knees.

01:51:07.000 So say you do the one, two, three, four spots, like crazy, then your towel is not getting shit and, you know, taint jizz on it.

01:51:18.000 Taint jizz.

01:51:19.000 Taint cream.

01:51:20.000 You know, when you haven't done a shower in a while and either side of your crotch is all greasy?

01:51:27.000 Okay, well, you're Asian.

01:51:29.000 You guys are superior to us disgusting Scots.

01:51:32.000 That's what they say.

01:51:33.000 Then you're just cleaning off a clean thing.

01:51:35.000 And if it's hanging, it's hanging.

01:51:37.000 So I would say if it reeks and it's musty, obviously that overrules everything.

01:51:42.000 But if it's not, I'm going to say six months.

01:51:48.000 So if there's any visible stains, it's got to go.

01:51:51.000 If it's musty, it's got to go.

01:51:53.000 Outside of that, and you're a clean dude, I'm going to say basically never.

01:51:57.000 Damn.

01:51:58.000 And while we're on the subject, never wash your hair with any kind of soap ever.

01:52:03.000 No soap has touched this scalp since 1984.

01:52:08.000 And my brother's balding.

01:52:11.000 My dad looks like a fucking turtle with AIDS.

01:52:14.000 Bald is a dead cue ball.

01:52:16.000 And I have basically Videl Sassoon hair.

01:52:21.000 Although when I start taking these HGHs, apparently I'm going to go bald.

01:52:26.000 I hope not.

01:52:28.000 We got another caller?

01:52:30.000 Yep.

01:52:31.000 Yes, I was there too.

01:52:34.000 Cody.

01:52:36.000 What's up, Cody?

01:52:37.000 Hey, Cody.

01:52:41.000 Code.

01:52:43.000 The Codester.

01:52:44.000 253 number.

01:52:46.000 Maybe the name isn't Cody.

01:52:48.000 This thing does a weird thing.

01:52:50.000 Cody.

01:52:52.000 Maybe we're pronouncing it wrong.

01:52:53.000 Maybe it's Cody.

01:52:54.000 Hello?

01:52:55.000 Hello, Cody.

01:52:56.000 Code.

01:52:57.000 Yeah.

01:52:58.000 I just like to say that fake tits are more push-up bra than implants.

01:53:06.000 What do you mean?

01:53:10.000 Well, if you see a chick with big tits and you go to fake tits, shirt off, you take the bra off, let him go kit.

01:53:21.000 I'd rather see fake tits, i.e.

01:53:24.000 implants, than nothing.

01:53:27.000 I would like to get you on free speech where we both sit face to face, sort of like William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal, and argue with you for two hours, because I strongly disagree.

01:53:38.000 Obviously, pancakes are terrible.

01:53:41.000 You'd rather fuck a 12-year-old boy-looking girl than someone with money to get breasted with.

01:53:50.000 So in your case, the push-up bra is coming up here, and then she takes them off, and they're basically like just nothing.

01:53:58.000 Well, I mean, okay.

01:54:01.000 You obviously know what I mean.

01:54:03.000 Like, you can't make a mountain.

01:54:06.000 You can't make a mountain out of a molehill.

01:54:08.000 So if she has boobs that are like an A cup or whatever the smallest is, and then she wears a push-up bra, they can go up to maybe a B cup.

01:54:15.000 But still, when she takes off the bra, she sells an A cup.

01:54:17.000 I am fine with just like a fist-sized tip.

01:54:21.000 I've seen some magic, Jamming.

01:54:23.000 I've seen some magic happen where an A cup goes all the way up to a low D, high C area.

01:54:32.000 And it was just this, it was disorienting when I saw it.

01:54:39.000 Could you feel the bag?

01:54:44.000 What?

01:54:45.000 Are you talking about implants?

01:54:46.000 Yeah.

01:54:48.000 No, I'm talking about folded meat.

01:54:56.000 Dude, what the hell are you talking about?

01:54:59.000 Skin and ribs up, and it looks like a big pit, but there's nothing there.

01:55:04.000 Yeah, well, there's not nothing there.

01:55:06.000 There's just less there.

01:55:09.000 A lot less.

01:55:11.000 All right.

01:55:11.000 We'll take your word for it, codes.

01:55:14.000 Okay, I'm glad you hung up because we were talking in circles, but let's get down to the mathematics here.

01:55:22.000 If your tits are five, no, that's a bad, that's, well, I have to use numbers.

01:55:28.000 Let's say your tits are 32.

01:55:31.000 No, that's a bad analogy too.

01:55:33.000 Out of, let's say the biggest tits, I don't know tit sizes.

01:55:36.000 So let's say the biggest tits in the world, like gigantic tits are a 10 and almost no tits are a 1.

01:55:40.000 All right, say you have a 1.5.

01:55:42.000 If you wear a push-up bra, you might be able to get up to a 3.

01:55:46.000 Say you have a 7, a push-up bra might get you up to a 9.

01:55:51.000 But he's got a series of different complaints there.

01:55:53.000 One, I thought he was saying, is she has these things that come out like this, and then she takes off her bra and they go, boy, yo, boy, yo, yo, yo, yo, y is awesome.

01:56:03.000 If she's on all fours and they're hanging down like penises, like pendulous arms, that's awesome.

01:56:09.000 The only thing we dislike is these.

01:56:11.000 And I know what you're saying.

01:56:12.000 You're probably a young man.

01:56:13.000 You're probably 20 and you're like, wow.

01:56:16.000 That fucking old codger thinks that penises hanging down is awesome.

01:56:20.000 You'll get here, my friend.

01:56:22.000 You'll get here.

01:56:22.000 You're a young man.

01:56:24.000 You still, you only like porcelain perfection.

01:56:27.000 Soon, you won't even want porcelain perfection.

01:56:30.000 You'll want them to sag.

01:56:31.000 You want them to go to either side when she lies on her back.

01:56:34.000 You don't want nothing.

01:56:35.000 You don't want meatless.

01:56:37.000 But where the meat goes after you're, say, you become 33 years old, then you're just like, I don't care where it goes.

01:56:44.000 So I like that when you push them up, they're up here, like at the Renaissance Fair.

01:56:48.000 And then when we come home, they go, boom.

01:56:51.000 Maybe not to your lap, but boom, floppy flop, floppy flop.

01:56:55.000 Now, his thing, him pretending that nothings can go to Crazy huge jugs.

01:57:01.000 That's not a thing.

01:57:02.000 And as far as the 12-year-old boy comment, which was very rude, yeah, I'm fine with these.

01:57:09.000 I'm fine with tits this big.

01:57:11.000 I would prefer tits.

01:57:12.000 Let's settle what he was getting at.

01:57:15.000 He thinks I'm crazy, and we'll agree to disagree, but I would prefer this to a fake this.

01:57:24.000 How do you feel about that?

01:57:27.000 You know, I'm not super picky, but the deal breakers are deal breakers.

01:57:33.000 The magic tricks I never appreciated.

01:57:35.000 Just answer the question.

01:57:36.000 Jesus Christ.

01:57:38.000 Well, he got to rant on.

01:57:39.000 I just said, would you prefer this reel to this fake?

01:57:46.000 Probably this reel.

01:57:47.000 Okay, very simple.

01:57:48.000 I've never encountered a fake reel.

01:57:49.000 You better not do this on the next mailbag.

01:57:51.000 Don't go off at tangents.

01:57:53.000 Pretend there's a gun to your head and a clock ticking.

01:57:56.000 I'm looking at push-up bras.

01:57:58.000 Yeah.

01:57:58.000 But.

01:58:00.000 Well, why are you looking at that by yourself and not showing the folks at home?

01:58:03.000 I'm trying to find a good one.

01:58:04.000 I mean, I'm really not getting much out of this.

01:58:06.000 Go to the top left, though.

01:58:07.000 This one here.

01:58:09.000 Top left.

01:58:09.000 Well, we want to see before and after.

01:58:11.000 Like, he's talking about a massive difference.

01:58:13.000 Oh, that's a good one.

01:58:14.000 The before and after.

01:58:15.000 Both of those are great.

01:58:16.000 I don't, Is this some sort of magic hocus pocus?

01:58:23.000 No.

01:58:23.000 The ones with the cleavage look like 10%, 15% bigger.

01:58:28.000 So?

01:58:29.000 I've never met a fake tit before.

01:58:31.000 You haven't?

01:58:32.000 Nope.

01:58:33.000 Ah, yeah.

01:58:34.000 I haven't.

01:58:35.000 You travel in wholesome circles.

01:58:37.000 When I was the owner of vice, I was obviously heavily associated with literal vice.

01:58:44.000 Yes.

01:58:45.000 All right, next call.

01:58:46.000 We got Joseph.

01:58:48.000 Why do Midwesterners earn just like crap?

01:58:52.000 Joseph?

01:58:53.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:58:55.000 I'm calling in because I grew up in France, and each time I go to the U.S. to visit my relatives, I noticed that all these young people put absolutely no effort into being presentable.

01:59:06.000 What's the deal with that?

01:59:08.000 Is that like a deal where it's like everywhere in the U.S., or is that just a Midwesterner thing?

01:59:12.000 I mean, at least in France, people are at least presentable if they're not trying to look fly.

01:59:18.000 So, yeah, wanted to know your thoughts of that.

01:59:21.000 Uh, so he said, why do people look like shit in the Midwest?

01:59:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:59:26.000 He grew up in France.

01:59:27.000 Thank you.

01:59:28.000 Thank you, caller.

01:59:30.000 It's beyond frustrating.

01:59:32.000 You know, when I lived in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, we went to a public school, which I don't recommend.

01:59:37.000 And the parents got this notice that said in very nice, schooly terms, can you stop coming to school in your pajamas reeking of weed?

01:59:48.000 Two separate things there.

01:59:49.000 Don't come to school wearing, don't drop your kids off in pajamas, you lazy slut.

01:59:54.000 What are you on welfare?

01:59:56.000 Yes, she is.

01:59:57.000 And smelling of weed, what you're waking baking, you're reeking up to school with an illegal drug.

02:00:03.000 Get your shit together, you loser.

02:00:05.000 But yes, thank you so much for saying that, Caller.

02:00:08.000 It drives me insane.

02:00:10.000 The sweatpants everywhere?

02:00:12.000 Sweatpants?

02:00:13.000 Don't you have a wallet and a phone and keys?

02:00:17.000 Isn't that like dragging your pants down?

02:00:19.000 And Ryan wears sweatpants all the time.

02:00:21.000 And these shower shoes, these stupid slip-on sandals.

02:00:25.000 I walk by, what kids in athletics do now is, like basketball kids and track and hockey, everything.

02:00:33.000 They go to the game, they do their shit, and then they come home in shower shoes.

02:00:37.000 So you'll be walking down the sidewalk and there'll be an entire team of high school kids, like 50 guys, 100% of them wearing little ankle socks, little bobby socks, we called them in the 80s, and shower shoes.

02:00:50.000 And how many times have you seen a street fight where those things go flying and they're long gone and you're running around in your socks?

02:00:56.000 And they show up at the airport in their pajamas?

02:00:59.000 The especially frustrating thing about this is you're at your peak.

02:01:03.000 You're at your attractive peak.

02:01:05.000 You're 20.

02:01:06.000 Everything is downhill from here.

02:01:07.000 Actually, I shouldn't say that.

02:01:08.000 Like, as far as how you being attractive goes, 18 to 30 is really the most attractive you're ever going to be.

02:01:17.000 And you're at a sleepover.

02:01:20.000 They go to the airport.

02:01:21.000 They're sleeping at the gate and they're PJs.

02:01:24.000 Grown women, like 22-year-old women, have a stuffed animal with them.

02:01:28.000 What is going on?

02:01:30.000 You're beautiful.

02:01:31.000 You can't wear little kitten heels to the airport?

02:01:34.000 And if you're a dude, dress like Johnny Cash and have an old-timey record player in your dorm.

02:01:39.000 You'll get so much pussy, you'll have AIDS.

02:01:43.000 That's the other thing about style in general.

02:01:46.000 Okay, I get it.

02:01:46.000 You're not Tom Ford.

02:01:48.000 Fine.

02:01:48.000 Just stick to basics.

02:01:50.000 Have Chucks and Levi's and a Haynes shirt.

02:01:53.000 You know, if you don't want to be the talk of the town, then just stick to Carhartt or something reliable.

02:02:00.000 Red Wing boots.

02:02:02.000 Stan Smith's, Rod Lavers, Chuck Taylor's.

02:02:06.000 All the basics are already there for you.

02:02:08.000 Desert boots, Clark's.

02:02:12.000 Brooks Brothers, Fred Perry, whatever.

02:02:15.000 Adidas.

02:02:16.000 Not Adidas, the sporty stuff, but the collared shirts.

02:02:21.000 It's a constant source of rage.

02:02:27.000 And people go, I'm not a slave to fashion.

02:02:28.000 It's an American thing.

02:02:29.000 You'll notice punk rock was very elaborate in London, England, and then it comes here and they go, fuck it, I'm just going to shave my head and wear a t-shirt and jeans.

02:02:36.000 It's an American thing.

02:02:38.000 We're very utilitarian here.

02:02:39.000 And it frustrates me because you think you're young, you're perfect, peacock.

02:02:43.000 It's like people who think Halloween is gay.

02:02:46.000 Oh, we're at a party.

02:02:47.000 It's the 31st.

02:02:49.000 Just participate.

02:02:51.000 Fashion isn't important.

02:02:53.000 It's not like knowing about politics or voting or caring about the Second Amendment of free speech.

02:02:59.000 Obviously, it's a game.

02:03:01.000 But everyone shows up and they're all playing some board game and you're like, no, thanks.

02:03:04.000 It's gay.

02:03:06.000 All right.

02:03:06.000 Well, we'll be playing over here.

02:03:08.000 Dickweed.

02:03:09.000 You go pout in the corner.

02:03:12.000 Ah.

02:03:13.000 Skip a turn.

02:03:15.000 Next.

02:03:17.000 What are you doing that for?

02:03:19.000 We're not doing any more news stories.

02:03:23.000 We got Thomas about the right wing.

02:03:27.000 Yeah, hey there, Gav.

02:03:28.000 How are you, sir?

02:03:29.000 I'm good.

02:03:29.000 How are You doing very well.

02:03:32.000 So, a while back, maybe about a month ago at this point, I heard you and Milo on your show talk about various gossip about right-wing e-celebs such as Lauren Southern.

02:03:46.000 And Milo made kind of an offhand comment about Ben Shapiro fucking Cassie Dylan, I guess one of his interns or something like that.

02:03:56.000 And nobody questions him or asked him to elaborate about that at all.

02:04:02.000 Do you know anything about that?

02:04:03.000 And if not, can we get a little bit of right-wing Issa-Leb gossip, please?

02:04:08.000 Thank you, sir.

02:04:09.000 I don't know.

02:04:11.000 I don't know if he fucked his intern.

02:04:12.000 He's married.

02:04:13.000 He probably should.

02:04:15.000 I know absolutely nothing about that.

02:04:16.000 But I had Alex Jones' son, Rex, asking me about Shapiro.

02:04:21.000 He was sort of researching bad shit about him.

02:04:23.000 I don't like that punching left thing.

02:04:26.000 I've never attacked Crowder or Shapiro, even though Shapiro's had some digs at me.

02:04:31.000 But the whole like Cernovich, Pasobic, Milo team versus Crowder-Shapiro team, I just want less government.

02:04:39.000 I don't get on that.

02:04:40.000 So I don't have any juicy gossip on that.

02:04:43.000 But if we are gossiping, let's save it for the other side.

02:04:47.000 If we have news of an affair or some illicit, what's it called, grand larceny, shut your mouth.

02:04:57.000 Now, obviously, if someone's totally immoral and evil and a spy or something like that, or was raping and molesting people, then they're out.

02:05:06.000 Or is secretly a Nazi or something?

02:05:08.000 They're out.

02:05:10.000 But otherwise, I don't know.

02:05:11.000 That doesn't interest me.

02:05:12.000 Do you have any right-wing gossip?

02:05:14.000 No.

02:05:15.000 Sorry, caller.

02:05:17.000 Can't help you there.

02:05:17.000 I can help you, though, with your erections, and that is using Blue Chew.

02:05:23.000 Blue Chew is about good sex.

02:05:26.000 Go to bluechew.com.

02:05:28.000 Use the promo code Gavin to try it for free.

02:05:31.000 You just pay the shipping.

02:05:32.000 Now, this is an emergency penis alarm, where if you're having any trouble getting it up, then you're not having any trouble getting it up.

02:05:42.000 Why would you not have that in your wallet?

02:05:43.000 No one's saying you have to have a year-long subscription and be constantly buying this shit.

02:05:48.000 But why not when it's just, what is it, $5 for shipping?

02:05:51.000 Yeah, $5 for shipping.

02:05:53.000 Use the promo code Gavin.

02:05:56.000 How many stupid things have you wasted $5 on?

02:05:59.000 You get this.

02:05:59.000 It's in your wallet.

02:06:01.000 You meet Mrs. Wright.

02:06:03.000 It's a great night.

02:06:04.000 You may have imbibed too much.

02:06:05.000 Whatever mistake you've made is none of my business that got you to this unfortunate predicament.

02:06:09.000 But you ever have a feeling with your dick?

02:06:11.000 And you don't get this when you're married because you're too comfortable.

02:06:14.000 It's like beating off.

02:06:15.000 It's just, there's no thought that goes into it.

02:06:17.000 But in your single days, you get too much in your head and you're like, okay, dude, let's do this.

02:06:22.000 And your dick is just like, actually, I'm out of here.

02:06:24.000 And it doesn't just not work.

02:06:26.000 Like if your finger was not to work and it hurt to go like that, it's not there.

02:06:32.000 And the best analogy I could use was it's sort of like if you were to take black ink and just squeeze a drop into water and it just goes, pa-cha.

02:06:42.000 And you see it sort of smoky at first and then it just, the water becomes gray.

02:06:45.000 Your dick is kind of smoky at first and then your dick's gone.

02:06:49.000 It's totally gone.

02:06:50.000 You feel like you could just take a hammer and go, cock, cock, cock, cock.

02:06:53.000 That was a good sound effect.

02:06:55.000 And you're so mad at it, too, because this has been your right-hand man your whole life.

02:07:00.000 And then at the most important time, he's just like, he turns into Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

02:07:04.000 And he's like, I'm going to go see you later, Winnie.

02:07:09.000 And he just walks out the door.

02:07:11.000 Well, this, BlueChew.com, lasso's Eeyore, yanks him back into the room, and turns him into a bucking Bronco.

02:07:20.000 A wild stallion who cannot be tamed.

02:07:24.000 Also, older men, it's nice having a piece of wood down there once in a while to remind you of what life was like when you were 14, because you'd be surprised how much you forgot about what it's like.

02:07:37.000 49-year-old erections are very reasonable.

02:07:40.000 They're like a Toyota Corolla.

02:07:42.000 Reliable.

02:07:43.000 They get you to where you want to go.

02:07:45.000 But no one's gasping at a Toyota Corolla.

02:07:49.000 If you try to run over a coconut in a Toyota Corolla, the car just goes, ba-dum, ba-dump, and the coconut is fine.

02:07:55.000 It's not a coconut smasher.

02:07:56.000 No.

02:07:57.000 14-year-old Dick is a Mac truck.

02:08:00.000 And beware coconuts because we've got some smashing about to go down.

02:08:05.000 My eye's itchy, and my youngest son had pink eye this morning, so I'm very uncomfortable.

02:08:11.000 Can you hear this?

02:08:13.000 Ew, yes.

02:08:15.000 Is that good for that ASDR stuff?

02:08:17.000 ASMR.

02:08:18.000 ASMR?

02:08:20.000 You want to speed through some of these cows?

02:08:22.000 Yeah, let's take some cows.

02:08:24.000 Russell talking about the Hodge twins.

02:08:27.000 Okay.

02:08:29.000 Hey.

02:08:31.000 I got one joke and four questions.

02:08:34.000 Okay.

02:08:34.000 Four questions is a no.

02:08:36.000 That's an interview, dude.

02:08:38.000 Yeah, I'm just kidding.

02:08:38.000 That was a joke.

02:08:39.000 Oh, good.

02:08:40.000 So I went to see the Hodge Twins.

02:08:43.000 They came to Connecticut.

02:08:44.000 It's pretty blue state.

02:08:46.000 And while I was watching the show, it was in a comedy club.

02:08:49.000 The weight staff, they were like openly repulsed by the Hodge Twins.

02:08:59.000 You should have the Hodge Twins on your show, by the way.

02:09:01.000 Yeah, I will.

02:09:02.000 What's their claim to fame?

02:09:03.000 They were athletes.

02:09:05.000 Were they athletes before they were doing the commentating?

02:09:09.000 They were Marines, and then they became fitness gurus.

02:09:16.000 I was in the Army, and I found out about them because a lot of people would watch their videos.

02:09:22.000 So that's how I was introduced by them.

02:09:24.000 But yeah, they were this thing for a while.

02:09:26.000 So they have followers who are fairly conservative.

02:09:31.000 And they came out of the, they lost a lot of fans.

02:09:37.000 But I think they deserve a spot in Free Speech TV.

02:09:42.000 Yeah, but I can't get anyone who's not banned because they just go, I'll stick with my YouTube money.

02:09:46.000 Thanks.

02:09:47.000 So if they're monetized, I can't get them.

02:09:50.000 But you know what's weird about the Hodge twins?

02:09:52.000 We were listening to Nick Cave earlier, and the elephant in the room is that his son jumped off a cliff when he was on acid.

02:09:57.000 And you're constantly thinking about that when you hear him play.

02:10:00.000 And with the Hodge twins, I'm constantly thinking about genetics and DNA and how they are exactly the same person.

02:10:07.000 They have the exact same DNA.

02:10:09.000 And to see two people do a sort of diamond and silk thing, for lack of a better analogy, where one guy says something, the other goes, uh-huh, that's right.

02:10:16.000 And then the other one says something, and they finish each other's sentences, it's such a trip that it sort of distracts me from the message because I'm just so amazed to see twins make a point where it's almost like a two-headed man.

02:10:28.000 Yeah.

02:10:28.000 Thanks, Russell.

02:10:30.000 But yeah, they're awesome, and I will get them on the show.

02:10:32.000 They're kind of crowders guys.

02:10:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit.

02:10:34.000 And I kind of avoided that at Blaze because I don't want to step on other guests.

02:10:38.000 But I guess now that we're not on the same network, I'll ask.

02:10:42.000 We got Andrew.

02:10:43.000 But it also brings up what I was talking about on the other show, where do guests enrich the show?

02:10:48.000 Definitely other shows enrich the network.

02:10:50.000 And if the Hodge twins were to come on and do a regular segment, that would be fantastic for us.

02:10:55.000 It would just be more content.

02:10:56.000 And to be clear, by the way, when we add a show, I'm negotiating with Loomer right now.

02:11:01.000 And now we have Milo and Soph.

02:11:03.000 It doesn't slow down any of these shows.

02:11:06.000 I'm going to start taking holidays off.

02:11:07.000 So if it's an important day like Malcolm X Day, I'm going to take the day off or obviously Build a Butcher Day.

02:11:13.000 But adding Soph doesn't take down GOML.

02:11:18.000 And the reason I took off that Monday, it was Labor Day.

02:11:20.000 So chill the fuck out.

02:11:22.000 We got Andrew, Southern California.

02:11:27.000 Hey, I wanted to ask you hypothetically a music gay question.

02:11:32.000 Good.

02:11:34.000 In an alternate universe, if David Bowie and Elton John were straight, no glasses, no flamboyance, more like Springsteen, would their music in the 70s be judged differently today?

02:11:53.000 Would it be regarded more, do you think?

02:11:57.000 Thank you for your call, sir.

02:11:58.000 No.

02:12:00.000 What?

02:12:01.000 You're taking 2019 glasses, 2020 glasses, basically, and you're looking at the past with modern SJW glasses.

02:12:09.000 Gay wasn't a thing.

02:12:11.000 If Liberace was on a talk show, they'd ask him if he has any ladies in the future.

02:12:15.000 And he'd be like, huh, I just haven't found the right one.

02:12:20.000 We had Rip, what's his name?

02:12:22.000 Rip Taylor.

02:12:24.000 Taylor coming out with confatty and throwing it at people.

02:12:29.000 We had Paul Lynn coming out with Kiss on the Christmas special saying, oh my God, look what the cat dragged in.

02:12:37.000 We had a band called Queen, where the singer was trying to bring opera to the masses.

02:12:45.000 And he would prance around barefoot in tights.

02:12:47.000 And people would go, this band is fucking awesome, dude.

02:12:50.000 We had a band called Judas Priest, where the singer wore all leather, a leather hat, leather jacket, leather pants, and people went, this band rocks, and I hate fags.

02:13:00.000 Free will burning.

02:13:02.000 Breaking the law, breaking the law.

02:13:05.000 Speaking of leather, we had the village people where there's another leather hound on there covered in S ⁇ M gear.

02:13:12.000 And they sang, we love going to the YMCA because there's tons of guys.

02:13:17.000 You can meet young guys.

02:13:19.000 You can touch their dicks.

02:13:21.000 You can fondle their buns.

02:13:22.000 It's fucking amazing time at the gay, gay, gay, gay.

02:13:27.000 And everyone was going, that's awesome.

02:13:30.000 I've never even heard of a homosexual.

02:13:33.000 It's actually the G-A-Y-M-C-A, but they whisper the G-A, the G-A-M-Y-M-C-A, if you ever noticed that.

02:13:43.000 Next time I'm having great sex with my wife, can you just walk into the room and say, so what's really going on here is two people are in love.

02:13:50.000 You guys have been together for 20 years and you're sharing.

02:13:52.000 And when's your anniversary?

02:13:58.000 So yeah, in retrospect, we find out that Mick Jagger was smoking David Bowie's hog.

02:14:04.000 And I was just listening to Under Pressure.

02:14:06.000 And at the gym, it came on.

02:14:08.000 And I just thought, this is the gayest song.

02:14:11.000 At one point in the song, they just go, love, love, love, love, love, love.

02:14:17.000 Oh, can we give love one more chance?

02:14:21.000 Can we give love, give love, give love, give love.

02:14:27.000 Can you possibly get gayer than that?

02:14:29.000 And there'd be metal heads with long hair and leather jackets going, that song's fucking badass, dude.

02:14:38.000 Look at him.

02:14:39.000 could he have made it more obvious Look at Glam.

02:14:50.000 Glam is what threw us all off.

02:14:53.000 With the New York dolls and all these guys with wigs on and wearing their girlfriend's clothes.

02:14:58.000 Dee Schneider is glam, by the way.

02:14:59.000 Early Twisted sister was glam.

02:15:01.000 And he would just borrow his girlfriend's clothes.

02:15:03.000 He'd wear her tops and stuff, rip them to shreds because he's a fucking giant.

02:15:08.000 So, no, there was no pro-gay bias in early rock because no one knew what gay was.

02:15:14.000 It was like, it's a weird thing that happens at night in the park where men get arrested for diddling each other.

02:15:20.000 That's what homosexuality was my entire life up until 1990.

02:15:28.000 Stop looking at your email, Wiener Roast.

02:15:32.000 Just making sure somebody didn't send something.

02:15:33.000 Okay, we got to power through these calls.

02:15:35.000 It's time to go.

02:15:36.000 Alex.

02:15:38.000 Alex with Italian swear words.

02:15:41.000 Okay.

02:15:43.000 What's up, guys?

02:15:44.000 Ciao, Desolo.

02:15:47.000 The most offensive thing that all my Italian friends say you could say is porco dio, which I guess means Jesus is a pig.

02:15:54.000 So if you want to turn your nona's hair white, just next time you stub your toe, just say porco dio and watch her fucking burst into flames.

02:16:01.000 Okay, do you know what Fugazi means?

02:16:03.000 You know the band Fugazzi?

02:16:04.000 I think it's based on Fugats.

02:16:06.000 Is that like a fag?

02:16:09.000 I'm not really sure about that.

02:16:10.000 I don't speak Italian.

02:16:12.000 I just happen to have Italian friends that are like second generation, so they know all that shit.

02:16:15.000 Okay, thanks, buddy.

02:16:16.000 Porco Dio.

02:16:20.000 Let's power through these like a goddamn 14-year-old's boner.

02:16:20.000 Next call.

02:16:24.000 All right.

02:16:25.000 14-year-old bone, you're on the line.

02:16:26.000 Florida, big toe heels.

02:16:29.000 Oh, yes.

02:16:30.000 I live in South Florida, and so I wear flip-flops.

02:16:33.000 I know how you feel about flip-flops, but I have good feet.

02:16:37.000 I saw in the news last week that there's this trend going on with closed-toe heels, but they leave the big toe out.

02:16:46.000 And it's just the worst thing I've seen in a while.

02:16:50.000 Yeah, you cannot wear flip-flops anywhere.

02:16:54.000 I don't care if it's a billion degrees outside.

02:16:57.000 I don't wear flip-flops to the beach.

02:16:59.000 I wear normal shoes like Chuck Taylor's to my thing.

02:17:04.000 Holy crap.

02:17:05.000 Carler, my mind is officially blown.

02:17:10.000 I was not aware of this trend.

02:17:13.000 I am.

02:17:14.000 This is.

02:17:17.000 And then the opposite I think I may have seen.

02:17:20.000 I feel sick.

02:17:22.000 Look at this microphone.

02:17:23.000 Look how big that black woman's feet are.

02:17:26.000 These are the stupidest things I've ever seen.

02:17:29.000 What a nightmare.

02:17:32.000 One big toe?

02:17:33.000 What are you doing?

02:17:34.000 That doofy toe.

02:17:36.000 That made me have a burp, barf.

02:17:38.000 Barf, burp.

02:17:40.000 Whoa.

02:17:41.000 What an idiotic, horrible thing.

02:17:44.000 I can't believe I hadn't heard of this.

02:17:46.000 Big toe high heels.

02:17:48.000 You know what I really hate too?

02:17:49.000 I like a sense of logic in fashion.

02:17:52.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:17:52.000 And God, what is going on?

02:17:56.000 That's on a site called Foot Tease.

02:17:58.000 They like that?

02:17:59.000 I don't think those foot fetish guys?

02:18:02.000 Something wrong with that one.

02:18:04.000 Oh, I'm so glad we're in the fall soon and we're not going to see men's toes in New York anymore, especially in the suburbs where I live.

02:18:10.000 They all reckon themselves sailors and they always got their crocs or their flippies on.

02:18:16.000 I hate open-toed boots.

02:18:18.000 You know, like women have been wearing these ankle booties, but sometimes they'll have the heel and the toes open.

02:18:24.000 And you go, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

02:18:26.000 I know we're not in the Wild West anymore, but the origin of boots is like so snakes can't bite your heel.

02:18:30.000 That's the cowboy boots.

02:18:32.000 It's about guarding yourself, you know, riding boots and all that stuff.

02:18:35.000 It's about guarding your foot and your leg from mud and predators and stuff.

02:18:40.000 And then you're just sticking your toes out of your boot.

02:18:42.000 You look so idiotic.

02:18:43.000 Oh, those are the worst.

02:18:45.000 Thigh-high boots with toes showing.

02:18:47.000 What are you doing?

02:18:48.000 What are you doing?

02:18:51.000 Get those out of here.

02:18:52.000 Thank you, caller, for blowing my mind.

02:18:54.000 I didn't know I could hate anything more than men wearing flip-flops, especially with a suit.

02:18:59.000 In New York in July, they'll wear a suit with flip-flops.

02:19:02.000 I just want to hit him with a hammer.

02:19:03.000 Hit him with the hind.

02:19:05.000 Israel Lesbians and Gays, you're online.

02:19:09.000 Boys, Sir Kiwi in London, giving you guys a call.

02:19:13.000 Come to you guys, trickled through Peterson, started listening to Shapiro podcast, and then the algorithm said, here's Gavin.

02:19:20.000 And I said, all right, I'll have a listen.

02:19:22.000 And that's how I've sort of found you.

02:19:24.000 So AI might actually be on your guys' team.

02:19:27.000 Okay.

02:19:28.000 Next.

02:19:28.000 Don't care.

02:19:31.000 I just wanted to ask about, if you've got lesbians and they like other women, how come they're always so masculine?

02:19:38.000 And then how come if gays like other men, they're always really feminine, what is it that they actually like?

02:19:45.000 Just want to get your thoughts on that.

02:19:47.000 Yeah, that's really confusing me.

02:19:48.000 But the thing is, they don't go full male.

02:19:51.000 You know, when you look at a lesbian, they look like Justin Bieber in the 90s, kind of like a wigger teen with their underwear showing and stuff.

02:20:01.000 And I think it's like a masculine thing.

02:20:04.000 But you're right.

02:20:05.000 You're right.

02:20:05.000 The whole idea with the, it gets more intense this year, you know, with women cutting their tits off, growing a mustache.

02:20:14.000 It would be like my wife cutting her tits off and growing a mustache.

02:20:17.000 Like, that's not what I'm attracted to.

02:20:19.000 I'm attracted to female characteristics.

02:20:21.000 That's why I even think women working out and getting six packs is gross.

02:20:26.000 So I don't know.

02:20:27.000 I think they're doing it just to shock you.

02:20:29.000 I get the lipstick lesbians.

02:20:31.000 Like Ellen, Ellen's wife looks like a sexy woman.

02:20:35.000 It's the chick from arrested development.

02:20:37.000 Got you.

02:20:39.000 But you're right.

02:20:39.000 It's a totally confusing thing.

02:20:43.000 The thing, I think lesbians and gays are different, though.

02:20:45.000 Because lesbians, they'll wear like a flannel shirt and jeans, but at Thanksgiving, they super do up their face and they have mascara on and stuff.

02:20:53.000 They still have a feminine face.

02:20:54.000 And at the end of the day, they still have boobs and a vagina.

02:20:57.000 You're still going down in a vagina.

02:20:58.000 And with men, yes, they're kind of gay and fae and stuff, but they still have dicks.

02:21:04.000 And the dicks are getting sucked.

02:21:05.000 And the gays still have bears.

02:21:07.000 And they're very popular, these fat, hairy men.

02:21:10.000 And the lesbians still have the lipstick lesbians.

02:21:13.000 But the problem with trans is where that stuff just gets thrown out the window.

02:21:18.000 And you're with a woman, you both have your boobs, you're scissoring, doing your 69ing, you're looking at a chick the same way I look at a chick.

02:21:24.000 And then the next thing you know, she gets a crew cut, a mustache, and chops her tits off.

02:21:29.000 That must be a bummer.

02:21:32.000 We should get a lesbian on the show.

02:21:34.000 Instead of me discussing this conuctrum, we should get a some, I was going to say a rice ball.

02:21:41.000 We should get a.

02:21:42.000 That's inaccurate.

02:21:43.000 We should get a furball on the show.

02:21:45.000 Now when lesbians are called furballs.

02:21:47.000 That's awesome.

02:21:49.000 New York wondering if what the next speeches are, bro.

02:21:52.000 Gavin.

02:21:55.000 Gavin and Ryan, the new Batman and retard.

02:21:58.000 That's hilarious.

02:21:59.000 What's going on, guys?

02:22:00.000 Nothing.

02:22:01.000 Hey, Jesus.

02:22:03.000 Quick, quick thing.

02:22:04.000 Ryan, first of all, when you do your next show, I heard you probably got picked up.

02:22:08.000 You got to stay on topic, bro.

02:22:09.000 I mean, you literally went on a 15-minute tangent just playing your favorite songs.

02:22:14.000 Yeah.

02:22:15.000 He did?

02:22:16.000 I didn't even hear the whole thing.

02:22:21.000 I like this song, and like started playing another song.

02:22:23.000 It was like, I was driving to work, and I'm like, what am I listening to right now?

02:22:27.000 And I had to turn it off.

02:22:28.000 And I love Ryan, but it was terrible.

02:22:30.000 Dude, you're an employee.

02:22:32.000 When you're reading the letters, you're reading the letters.

02:22:35.000 You can't do my brilliant tangent thing.

02:22:37.000 I have a massive IQ.

02:22:39.000 Sure.

02:22:40.000 But it had to do with a letter.

02:22:43.000 You played your favorite songs for 15 minutes?

02:22:47.000 I suppose so.

02:22:49.000 Okay, let me just make something clear here.

02:22:51.000 From now on, you have a 30-second maximum.

02:22:51.000 Pilot channel.

02:22:56.000 That's the maximum that you can respond to a letter for.

02:23:00.000 It's not the Ryan show.

02:23:01.000 You work at the mailbag.

02:23:03.000 It's the mailbag show.

02:23:05.000 All right, that's fair enough.

02:23:06.000 I think I could rebrand.

02:23:07.000 I'm going to reboot.

02:23:08.000 No, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

02:23:09.000 Stop talking.

02:23:10.000 I got an idea.

02:23:11.000 What is it?

02:23:12.000 It's good.

02:23:13.000 What is it?

02:23:14.000 I'll show you.

02:23:14.000 It's cool.

02:23:15.000 Well, that's pretty cool.

02:23:15.000 Well, I'll show you.

02:23:19.000 The next one's going to be way better.

02:23:20.000 It's like Milo.

02:23:21.000 Pilots are always stinkers.

02:23:22.000 It's true.

02:23:24.000 All right, we got to wrap it up soon.

02:23:25.000 Kristen.

02:23:27.000 Christin.

02:23:28.000 Yes.

02:23:29.000 Christin.

02:23:30.000 Yeah, hello?

02:23:31.000 Oh.

02:23:32.000 Hi, Kristen.

02:23:33.000 You sound hot.

02:23:36.000 Thanks.

02:23:37.000 I was just wondering, I saw the episode.

02:23:40.000 Wait, let me just turn this video off.

02:23:42.000 Alright, so I saw the episode where you film a video with Alexander Wang and all these like super famous people.

02:23:49.000 Do you ever regret leaving mainstream entertainment to do this whole like right-wing influencer persona?

02:23:58.000 I really do.

02:23:59.000 I mean, I really miss Alexander Wang and that Simon dude who's married to Jonathan Adler who does all the buying for Barclays, you know, Burberry or something.

02:24:11.000 I really miss, of course, Natasha Leone.

02:24:14.000 She was in that commercial.

02:24:15.000 I miss hobnobbing with the stars.

02:24:18.000 You know, there's a certain energy when you're around David Cross and John Glazer and all of these super celebs.

02:24:28.000 Not only are you hanging out with a friend, but you also have this incredible status.

02:24:32.000 Like when I was at Jennifer Anderson's house with Justin Thoreau, it was like, I'm not just at a friend's house, I'm at a celebrity's house.

02:24:40.000 And I can tell people, maybe there was, you know, I'll be photographed with them and I'll be in the back going, oh no, I'm with Justin Thoreau.

02:24:49.000 Don't look, paparazzi.

02:24:50.000 And the next thing you know, you're in People Magazine or the National Inquirer and you think, this is it.

02:24:58.000 This is really where I want to be hobnobbing with Alexander Wang, a quiet, gay Asian fashion designer with not a lot to say, but an incredible gift when it comes to making women's shoes.

02:25:13.000 So if there's one thing I regret, it's being honest about my beliefs, being crass and controversial and edgy.

02:25:21.000 Because if I had just shut my mouth and never said what I feel and let it build up like a cancer inside me and constantly kissed the ass of all the celebrities and the famous people around me, then I could still be hanging out at the Chateau Marmont with famous people.

02:25:37.000 And that's really where the fun is at, is being around people who are in magazines.

02:25:44.000 Both literally in the field of magazines, which I was, and then also having their faces in magazines.

02:25:50.000 Fame is what it's about.

02:25:52.000 Famous people is what it's about.

02:25:54.000 Hobnobbing is what it's about.

02:25:56.000 So now my life is just a horrible, depressing pit of FOMO where I just look through celebrity magazines at my ex-friends and just, they're drenched by the end.

02:26:06.000 My wife will see a celebrity magazine in the kitchen.

02:26:08.000 She'll go, did you drop that in the bath?

02:26:10.000 And I'll say, no, those are my tears.

02:26:14.000 Dang.

02:26:16.000 All right.

02:26:18.000 How are we doing for calls?

02:26:19.000 How's Clown Will?

02:26:20.000 Is there a ton left?

02:26:20.000 Because I want to.

02:26:22.000 There's not a ton.

02:26:22.000 There's.

02:26:23.000 We got to wrap it up.

02:26:24.000 We're looking at five.

02:26:25.000 All right.

02:26:25.000 Let's do five more super short hang up on them fast.

02:26:28.000 All right.

02:26:30.000 Calling about another free speech tour.

02:26:34.000 I don't know what that means, really.

02:26:36.000 Hello, free speech tour.

02:26:37.000 This is Dan.

02:26:38.000 Hey, man.

02:26:40.000 Yeah, real quick.

02:26:41.000 I saw you going in July when you're in Washington, D.C. Considering doing another free speech tour.

02:26:50.000 I think from a cultural perspective, you're making a dent, and I think it's really important.

02:26:56.000 All right.

02:26:56.000 Thanks, Caller.

02:26:57.000 That's interesting.

02:26:58.000 I mean, I got 350,000 subscribers on YouTube.

02:27:01.000 So I do a video there, and it just fans out.

02:27:05.000 We were up to 12,900 here at Free Speech.

02:27:09.000 They tell their friends about it, whatever.

02:27:12.000 20,000 on Parlor.

02:27:15.000 That's thousands and thousands of people.

02:27:17.000 I go to the, if I do a tour to New York, you saw what happened last time I did a talk in New York.

02:27:21.000 Two men are facing 15 years in prison.

02:27:24.000 Unless someone is offering me insane money and crazy security like they are in Australia, it just, no, I'm not doing it anymore.

02:27:32.000 It's not worth it.

02:27:33.000 I did the free speech thing in D.C. because we were just launching the site and I wanted to promote it.

02:27:37.000 But no, I'm not doing, unless I get a crazy offer, I'm not doing a tour in New York.

02:27:42.000 I mean, sorry, in America, it's way more headache than it's worth.

02:27:44.000 But Australia, believe it or not, is slowly trudging forward, going through the paperwork.

02:27:50.000 It's a real struggle.

02:27:51.000 I'm trying to get Alex Jones to call the promoters back.

02:27:54.000 And if you bought tickets in Australia, they haven't been refunded because the tour is not over.

02:28:00.000 We are still doing the Australia tour, and that will be fun.

02:28:04.000 Next call.

02:28:06.000 Okay.

02:28:07.000 We got Dion.

02:28:09.000 I think that's Dionne.

02:28:12.000 Deanne.

02:28:13.000 Oh, hello.

02:28:14.000 Dean.

02:28:14.000 Hey, Deanne.

02:28:15.000 Hello.

02:28:15.000 Hi.

02:28:16.000 Hey, Gavin.

02:28:17.000 I'm calling to thank you.

02:28:19.000 I was one of those women sitting in the boardroom, just turned 35, and I heard one of your talks talking about when you're 35, your ovaries dried up.

02:28:31.000 And I had been spending two years trying to get pregnant and continually working.

02:28:35.000 And after I heard you say that, I spent two days not sleeping.

02:28:40.000 And I told my husband, that's it.

02:28:42.000 I'm quitting.

02:28:42.000 We quit our jobs.

02:28:43.000 We moved to the country.

02:28:45.000 And now we have two boys.

02:28:48.000 I mean, what is more consequential than that?

02:28:50.000 Like, if someone called and said, hey, man, I heard that you hate flip-flops, so I got shoes.

02:28:54.000 All right, that's nice.

02:28:56.000 You have two boys.

02:28:57.000 They will then have kids.

02:28:58.000 Those kids will have kids.

02:29:00.000 Like, the impact there is immeasurable.

02:29:02.000 It could be millions of people.

02:29:04.000 Well, that's kind of what I want to ask you.

02:29:06.000 How many people do you think that you've affected?

02:29:09.000 How many children and how many women do you think you saved?

02:29:11.000 And you can add me and two more boys on the list.

02:29:14.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:29:15.000 I hope it's thousands because I have dozens and dozens of people who have been fired for being associated with Proud Boys.

02:29:21.000 I've got a guy at Rikers right now.

02:29:23.000 We've got two guys looking at 15 years.

02:29:26.000 So I hope that the cons outweigh the pros and you people outweigh the prisoners and the fired and the deplatformed.

02:29:34.000 But you said your husband quit his job.

02:29:36.000 Does he have a job now?

02:29:39.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:41.000 You hung up on her?

02:29:42.000 Yes.

02:29:42.000 I'm supposed to say thanks, caller.

02:29:44.000 That's the best call we've ever had.

02:29:47.000 You never say thanks, caller.

02:29:49.000 That's the most important call we've ever had.

02:29:52.000 So I assume he has a job.

02:29:53.000 Maybe he works remotely.

02:29:54.000 That's fantastic.

02:29:55.000 And she's got two boys.

02:29:56.000 Here's another thing.

02:29:57.000 If you're still listening, ma'am, you got to have some more.

02:30:00.000 I know you're probably in your early 40s by now, but folks trying to have a kid.

02:30:06.000 Here's the two most important things you need to do.

02:30:08.000 One, stop watching porn.

02:30:12.000 Stop beating off.

02:30:13.000 Save your guys for where they matter.

02:30:16.000 And two, don't do the rhythm chart with the, oh, it's Thursday.

02:30:19.000 She's ovulating.

02:30:20.000 Ignore that chart.

02:30:21.000 It ruins everything.

02:30:23.000 If you don't beat off, you will ravage her all the time.

02:30:26.000 And you guys will just develop this vocabulary of regular sex.

02:30:30.000 You got to get it up to three times a week minimum.

02:30:33.000 And not wanking will do that.

02:30:35.000 If she's menstruating or she's not in the mood, then just jerk off within a yard of her with her consent and she can tickle your balls or something.

02:30:41.000 But you've got to just get your sexual proclivity up.

02:30:44.000 And I don't think charts do that.

02:30:46.000 I do think porn kills that.

02:30:48.000 Quitting porn makes babies.

02:30:52.000 Now we got Max about his Japanese girlfriend.

02:30:55.000 Max, Japanese girlfriend?

02:31:00.000 Yeah, actually, it's on that exact same topic, like, weirdly enough.

02:31:04.000 So I'm 28, and my girlfriend, she's 38.

02:31:09.000 We've been together for about 10 months.

02:31:11.000 And I don't want to go into it.

02:31:13.000 We don't have time, but basically, it's like a perfect match for me.

02:31:16.000 But I do want to have kids one day, settle down.

02:31:20.000 And I'm kind of, and she's totally like giving signals that she kind of wants that too in life.

02:31:26.000 But, you know, being 38, almost being 40, I'm really not sure what to do.

02:31:31.000 Hoping to get some insight from Gav.

02:31:33.000 Dumper ass.

02:31:34.000 You don't need an old bag like that.

02:31:36.000 You're not going to be able to have any kids of any consequence.

02:31:38.000 You might squeeze one out.

02:31:40.000 Get rid of her.

02:31:41.000 Go to Japan.

02:31:42.000 There's a whole fucking island full of them.

02:31:44.000 You can get someone that's 20.

02:31:47.000 You could even wait till you're 35 and then have your pick of a bunch of 25-year-olds.

02:31:52.000 Now she's got a good 10 years of breeding in her.

02:31:54.000 You can have a whole clan.

02:31:56.000 Here's my advice, sir.

02:31:57.000 Dump that old hag.

02:32:01.000 You are wasting your time.

02:32:03.000 And definitely do not marry her or impregnate her.

02:32:06.000 Guys, stop dating these old ladies.

02:32:09.000 Next, call her, please.

02:32:11.000 All right, South Carolina.

02:32:13.000 Jesus Christ, 38?

02:32:14.000 This is from Maggie from South Carolina.

02:32:16.000 Hey, Maggie.

02:32:16.000 Hey.

02:32:18.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

02:32:19.000 How you doing?

02:32:20.000 Hi, I'm so very sorry.

02:32:21.000 I will make this short and sweet.

02:32:25.000 It's already sweet.

02:32:26.000 Gavin, have you spoken, or either one of you, have you guys heard about the rumors about the possible credit score system that Trump is apparently floating?

02:32:37.000 Yeah, I did hear about that.

02:32:39.000 And when I heard about it, the picture that they used was him sitting next to his daughter, Ivanka Trump.

02:32:45.000 What is this, a monarchy?

02:32:46.000 Why is your daughter in the White House?

02:32:50.000 Well, and not only that, but I read a lot of comments and stuff, and there were a lot of people saying, oh, well, you know, a lot of people who just think that he can do no wrong, they won't have any problem.

02:33:00.000 And I'm like, my ass, they won't have any problem.

02:33:03.000 I would have a huge, if they try to do that stuff, oh, this shit's going to hit the sham.

02:33:07.000 Yeah, I think I might be done with Trump if they do something that stupid.

02:33:10.000 Look at these no-fly lists.

02:33:12.000 Oh, absolutely.

02:33:14.000 No question, no question.

02:33:15.000 I'm just saying.

02:33:16.000 That's like one of the biggies.

02:33:18.000 Yeah, I totally agree with you.

02:33:21.000 That would be his biggest mistake in a long ass time if he did something that dumb.

02:33:25.000 That's China.

02:33:26.000 What?

02:33:26.000 We're China now?

02:33:27.000 Now we have these, that's a black mirror episode.

02:33:30.000 Now we have social credit scores.

02:33:32.000 And what I was trying to get in there is the no-fly lists.

02:33:35.000 Say your name is Osima Boon Ludon.

02:33:39.000 You're going to be on that list.

02:33:41.000 There's a million typos on that no-fly list.

02:33:43.000 It's a really inefficiently crude list because the government is incompetent.

02:33:50.000 So I can't imagine the shit that they would do.

02:33:53.000 Look at what I was talking about earlier with Google.

02:33:55.000 With what was it, 17,000 channels shut down?

02:33:59.000 What was it, 500 million comments?

02:34:02.000 They're going to go to the SPLC.

02:34:04.000 They're going to go to the ADL.

02:34:05.000 They're going to go to the ACLU for these lists on who we should ban.

02:34:08.000 And you know, conservatives are going to get screwed.

02:34:11.000 We already have airlines saying that they will not take flights from ICE if they're transporting illegal immigrants.

02:34:19.000 Remember there was that woman on the plane who said, I command that this plane be stopped.

02:34:23.000 I am Swedish and this is a man who is being deported.

02:34:27.000 It's a violation of his rights.

02:34:29.000 And I will stand here and talk like Bjork.

02:34:31.000 Meanwhile, the guy had raped a kid.

02:34:34.000 Oops.

02:34:34.000 Nice, heroic move, lady.

02:34:38.000 So that is going to be Trump acquiescing into the exact same culture that is working its ass off to have him erased, to have him lose 2020.

02:34:51.000 Him going with that stupid...

02:34:59.000 Like an adaptation when the twin brother says, I'm doing this movie where three guys are the same guy and the cop and the killer are the same guy.

02:35:06.000 And at the end, they're chasing one on a horse and one on a motorbike.

02:35:10.000 It's like horse versus motorbike.

02:35:14.000 And Charlie Kaufman goes, that's a great idea.

02:35:17.000 So we're praying that he's just sitting there going, yeah, background checks.

02:35:22.000 So that he can say, I heard them out.

02:35:24.000 If he's not, as Alex Jones says, we will drag him out of there by his heels.

02:35:29.000 All right.

02:35:30.000 Wrapping up this caller.

02:35:31.000 Last call.

02:35:32.000 We got Derek.

02:35:34.000 What's up, Derek?

02:35:35.000 What's up, Derek?

02:35:36.000 Hey, that last caller they called about tattletaling on Ryan pissed me off.

02:35:41.000 That was probably the gayest thing I've heard on here.

02:35:44.000 And Gavin, you shouldn't take these calls.

02:35:46.000 Stand up for your guy.

02:35:47.000 He's not that good at his job, but I was so irritated I called back to say that guy's a fag.

02:35:52.000 Thank you, guys.

02:35:53.000 Peace, fam.

02:35:53.000 Thanks.

02:35:54.000 All right.

02:35:54.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

02:35:55.000 To be fair, I don't think he was trying to throw me under the bus, though.

02:35:57.000 I don't think that's tattletaling.

02:35:58.000 I don't think it was.

02:35:59.000 15 minutes?

02:36:00.000 We're both providing a service.

02:36:02.000 And I run a restaurant, and then when I left one day, I said, Ryan, can you run the restaurant?

02:36:07.000 And he served shit sandwiches.

02:36:09.000 Is it tattletaling to say, Dude, I went there, I don't eat a shit sandwich?

02:36:13.000 Let's just say that was my Lenny Bruce moment where I made it all about exonerating myself.

02:36:18.000 Like, I would say if Ryan made a mistake and it went silent for like 15 seconds, and then he came back on going, oh my God, I'm sorry, guys.

02:36:26.000 I hit mute on the mic.

02:36:27.000 I did not know I did that.

02:36:28.000 Jesus, that was.

02:36:29.000 I would think that would be tattletaling if someone told me that.

02:36:32.000 That's kind of lame.

02:36:33.000 I don't actually think it was 15 minutes, to be fair.

02:36:35.000 But 15 minutes?

02:36:36.000 That's him fucking with my brand, my company, my restaurant.

02:36:40.000 This was not 15 minutes.

02:36:42.000 This is where it starts.

02:36:45.000 At let me see.

02:36:49.000 It's long.

02:36:49.000 Okay, so let's say it starts at 15 minutes.

02:36:51.000 It should end at 30.

02:36:52.000 So at 30, it should still be there.

02:36:54.000 No, I'm already way into it.

02:36:56.000 So how long is it, Ryan?

02:36:57.000 And it should be.

02:36:58.000 Oh, nice defense.

02:37:00.000 Bring that up in a court of law.

02:37:02.000 Your Honor, I didn't rape her for 15 minutes.

02:37:04.000 I raped her for maybe 10 minutes.

02:37:05.000 Well, it's not rape.

02:37:06.000 It's rape.

02:37:07.000 You raped our ears and eyes.

02:37:09.000 And, you know, no raping.

02:37:10.000 To be fair, you didn't see it.

02:37:12.000 You know what?

02:37:12.000 This second show is a second pilot.

02:37:15.000 I just decided.

02:37:15.000 You're reading the headlines.

02:37:17.000 There's a second pilot.

02:37:18.000 We're allowing Ryan to do a second pilot.

02:37:20.000 It is no longer an okayed show.

02:37:23.000 Okay.

02:37:25.000 You may have noticed I'm drinking Kevefe, which is the house coffee here at whatever this show is called.

02:37:32.000 Get off my lawn.

02:37:35.000 We drink it every day.

02:37:36.000 Every time you hear the show, you're hearing the larynx of a stimulated Kevefe drinker.

02:37:42.000 You can tell why I had to wrap up the calls.

02:37:43.000 I'm starting to fumble up my own words.

02:37:45.000 It's a world-class coffee specifically for Deplorables made by Deplorables.

02:37:49.000 We have three unique and delicious roasts.

02:37:51.000 There's the Red Pill Light Roast.

02:37:53.000 There's the Drain the Swamp Medium Roast.

02:37:56.000 And of course, there's the MAGA dark roast available in whole bean and ground.

02:38:02.000 We chose Bean.

02:38:03.000 We have a grinder here.

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02:38:39.000 And that's great too for one night stands.

02:38:41.000 This girl comes over.

02:38:42.000 And I find liberals are very turned on by MAGA guys, especially in cities like New York.

02:38:47.000 Like you'll get bottled in the face if you wear a MAGA hat.

02:38:51.000 But if a girl at a bar finds out you're pro-Trump, she will take you home.

02:38:55.000 Women have Trump fantasies.

02:38:57.000 They want to be ravaged by someone they hear is the devil.

02:39:02.000 Who does a woman want to have sex with?

02:39:04.000 Teddy Ruxpin or Satan?

02:39:08.000 Teddy's too soft.

02:39:10.000 She wants a hard Satan.

02:39:13.000 And so if she comes over and she sees MAGA by the coffee, she goes, oh my, you are incorrigible.

02:39:20.000 Your coffee is Trump?

02:39:23.000 I don't, I do not, this is not going to last.

02:39:25.000 You are like, yeesh.

02:39:27.000 And then, of course, the next morning, or sorry, late the next night, I'm at Max Fish.

02:39:35.000 Are you around?

02:39:36.000 Kind of busy.

02:39:38.000 Reject her the first time.

02:39:40.000 Make sure, guys, and this goes for girls too, both sides.

02:39:43.000 Make sure when you're courting that your green is less than his gray.

02:39:50.000 So if someone is courting someone, make sure that you text her once for every twice she texts you.

02:39:58.000 Sometimes I'll be talking to some chick who's talking to a guy like this bartender I was talking to.

02:40:02.000 I'm trying to get her set up with a guy.

02:40:04.000 She's a single mom.

02:40:05.000 And she goes, well, I was going to go to this bar, but I asked him permission.

02:40:08.000 I go, ask him permission.

02:40:09.000 You're the one he has to chase.

02:40:12.000 Let me see your fucking phone.

02:40:13.000 And she showed me her text, and I just saw green, gray, gray.

02:40:19.000 Green, gray, gray.

02:40:20.000 I go, this color scheme is all wrong.

02:40:22.000 Looks like BARF.

02:40:23.000 You should be the one going, I guess so.

02:40:26.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:40:27.000 Not like, I'm going to go to the bar.

02:40:28.000 Are you okay with that?

02:40:28.000 Because it's kind of your bar.

02:40:32.000 Anyway, Cavefe is the official coffee of Get Off My Lawn, the official coffee of Free Speech TV.

02:40:40.000 And that, folks, is our show.

02:40:43.000 We both, Ryan and I, like you more than a friend.

02:40:46.000 We look forward to Ryan's not first episode, but second pilot, where I promise you, you will not be subjected to more than, say, 30 seconds of a response.

02:40:56.000 And if it's a tough one, he'll hand it over to me.

02:41:01.000 Get fired.

02:41:03.000 Get in trouble.

02:41:05.000 Be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 06, 2019

GOML LIVE #11 - BATTLE ROYALE

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