Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #29

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 Get Off My Lawn I guess I'm supposed to wear this shirt.

00:00:38.000 Is that Johnny Apple CBD?

00:00:40.000 It is Johnny Apple CBD.

00:00:42.000 That's our sponsor.

00:00:43.000 I don't wear shirts with stuff on them.

00:00:45.000 Unless I'm kidding.

00:00:46.000 A man should not have a shirt that has anything on it after the age of 29.

00:00:53.000 Especially bands.

00:00:55.000 No one gives a shit if I like motorhead.

00:00:58.000 Don't do it.

00:00:59.000 Don't do it.

00:01:00.000 Not gonna do it.

00:01:02.000 How old are you?

00:01:03.000 You're 30.

00:01:03.000 You can't wear anything on your shirts.

00:01:05.000 I don't like wearing anything on my shirts.

00:01:07.000 You got your tag sticking up.

00:01:09.000 You'll happily be, you'll happily shill for keckles, though.

00:01:12.000 When I see what shirt you have on.

00:01:15.000 I will not do Kegels for Keckles.

00:01:17.000 I will not shill for Shekles.

00:01:18.000 Kegels for Keckles.

00:01:21.000 Let's see.

00:01:22.000 Your shirt.

00:01:23.000 All right.

00:01:26.000 Here I go.

00:01:27.000 Here he comes.

00:01:28.000 I don't like any logos on my shirt.

00:01:31.000 Logos.

00:01:32.000 I saw Bert Kreischer on Twitter talking about how many t-shirts he has.

00:01:36.000 And he has like hundreds and hundreds of shirts with like jokes and a bear and a gun.

00:01:42.000 And I don't know.

00:01:44.000 When you're a grown man with kids and your shirt says like, get the fuck out of here.

00:01:48.000 You can put like boardwalk jokes.

00:01:50.000 Now, what a team.

00:01:52.000 So you can have the Mets.

00:01:53.000 You can have your team.

00:01:54.000 Not against that.

00:01:55.000 Although, it is weird having a man's name on your back.

00:01:59.000 It is.

00:01:59.000 Cindergaard.

00:02:01.000 He's my favorite, the gorgeous Swedish hunk.

00:02:06.000 Dave Landau.

00:02:07.000 Talk to Dave Landau about that.

00:02:08.000 He's got...

00:02:11.000 He's got ACDC shirts.

00:02:13.000 I know.

00:02:13.000 I hate that.

00:02:14.000 I love Dave Landau, but I hate that about him.

00:02:16.000 I know.

00:02:18.000 Those jokes and like kiss and a South Park joke.

00:02:23.000 I wear a Mets shirt where the Kiss is dressed as the Mets, but I'm kidding.

00:02:28.000 It's a joke, yeah.

00:02:29.000 You don't have a cool shirt that says fucking KISS.

00:02:32.000 Hi, I'm 49.

00:02:34.000 I think KISS are really good.

00:02:36.000 Back in the New York Groove.

00:02:38.000 Actually, I also have a shirt that says back in the New York Groove, but it's a Mets shirt.

00:02:43.000 Before we get started, I'd like to give a shout out to our top sponsor, Johnny Apple.

00:02:48.000 No, not us.

00:02:49.000 Or as those Canadian Brits say, us.

00:02:53.000 Johnny Apple CBD.

00:02:56.000 This is a place I go for the CBD ointment that you put on after you do strength and conditioning and you have an arm day or a leg day and your bones ache.

00:03:07.000 I mean, your muscles ache.

00:03:08.000 It really helps.

00:03:10.000 So I use it for my workouts.

00:03:12.000 I also use it to help sleep.

00:03:14.000 I have the gummies before bed.

00:03:17.000 They help remove the horrors from your sleep.

00:03:20.000 So use promo code Gavin at checkout and get 20% off plus free shipping.

00:03:24.000 Plus, when you use a promo code Gavin, all your orders come with a CBD cookie.

00:03:28.000 Actually, that might be a Christmas thing.

00:03:30.000 I can't guarantee that.

00:03:31.000 This is an old read.

00:03:32.000 Yeah.

00:03:33.000 Through New Year's Eve, oh no, that's right.

00:03:35.000 Through New Year's Eve, all orders come with a free CBD cookie.

00:03:38.000 Is it through New Year's Eve right now?

00:03:40.000 It's after New Year's Eve.

00:03:42.000 So through is up to like Jan 1, I guess.

00:03:45.000 This isn't a very good read.

00:03:47.000 Anyway, visit jacbd.com.

00:03:49.000 Sport free.

00:03:51.000 Free speech.

00:03:51.000 You will not get high.

00:03:52.000 You're just going to feel as great as I do every day.

00:03:55.000 Check out the tincture, the topical ointment, the gummies.

00:04:00.000 And that's promo code Gavin, 20% off at checkout, free shipping.

00:04:03.000 Feel great, be great, jacbd.com.

00:04:06.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:04:10.000 Speaking of workouts, I just got back from the gym and the fear thing is just so exhausting.

00:04:23.000 And I think it's justified.

00:04:25.000 Here's the deal.

00:04:26.000 I mentioned this on the show before, but when you are just hitting the heavy bag or even going up to the coach and hitting his pads, left, right, left.

00:04:37.000 No problem.

00:04:38.000 I'm not even that tired.

00:04:40.000 And that's nailing, like that's hurting his hands through the match.

00:04:47.000 Then you get in the ring in a real fight and the rounds are, I think, three minutes long.

00:04:54.000 One minute in, you're just like, can we stop?

00:04:57.000 And it's fear.

00:04:58.000 Fear makes you tired.

00:05:00.000 But it's not like it's a dumb phobia like ghosts.

00:05:05.000 You do get punched in the head really hard.

00:05:07.000 Like I have a headache now.

00:05:09.000 I got hit in the head so many times.

00:05:10.000 So my fear was justified.

00:05:12.000 And, you know, he gets you with a left hook in the ear.

00:05:18.000 You can't hear for like 10 seconds.

00:05:21.000 It hurts.

00:05:22.000 And I guarantee you, tomorrow, when I touch my forehead, it'll feel tender and bruised.

00:05:27.000 That's true.

00:05:31.000 So it's a funny thing.

00:05:32.000 And I went up to Tommy.

00:05:34.000 I've got a video I want to show you of me kicking the shit out of this guy, Tommy, poor bastard.

00:05:39.000 But I went up to Tommy, not Hydroman, the big Tommy.

00:05:43.000 And I said, God, this fucking fear.

00:05:47.000 It's like playing hockey if your life depends on winning or going into a mosh pit.

00:05:54.000 Like it just drains you dry.

00:05:57.000 How do you do it?

00:05:58.000 And he goes, why do you think I had to stop that last round?

00:06:01.000 And I said, because you said you were going to barf.

00:06:03.000 They had a barf bucket for you.

00:06:05.000 And he goes, no, I gave myself a panic attack.

00:06:09.000 He said, I start getting tense.

00:06:11.000 I bite down on my mouth guard.

00:06:12.000 This is him talking.

00:06:13.000 I forget to breathe.

00:06:14.000 And the next thing I know, I'm having a panic attack.

00:06:18.000 It's fucking scary fighting.

00:06:20.000 And it doesn't get any less scary.

00:06:22.000 I even tried mind games too, where I'm like, okay, I'm just going to pretend I'm on heroin.

00:06:26.000 And then you go, I'm going to relax.

00:06:28.000 Then you get, you get punched in the head.

00:06:31.000 You can't relax.

00:06:32.000 I even tried, this guy was Swedish.

00:06:35.000 And I tried like hating Swedes.

00:06:37.000 And I was like, You fuckers, what have you done to masculinity?

00:06:40.000 You pussies with your refugees.

00:06:41.000 Welcome here.

00:06:42.000 All your women are getting raped.

00:06:44.000 You're ruining your own country.

00:06:45.000 You fucktard.

00:06:46.000 That didn't help.

00:06:48.000 I've even tried when fighting black guys to try to be racist.

00:06:52.000 Maybe that would give me more energy.

00:06:54.000 Goddamn Negro, we got another one in here.

00:06:56.000 Fuck, I hate you guys.

00:06:58.000 That doesn't work because you're like, now you're fighting Andrew in an improv troupe.

00:07:04.000 Yeah.

00:07:05.000 Doing a little dramatical character.

00:07:07.000 You're burning, you're burning gas.

00:07:09.000 Extra calories, burning more gas.

00:07:10.000 It doesn't work.

00:07:12.000 There's no trick.

00:07:13.000 What about love?

00:07:16.000 Yeah, but now you trust the guy and you're vulnerable.

00:07:19.000 Like when I fight Tommy, I'm basically gay for him.

00:07:24.000 And he still fucks me up.

00:07:26.000 The ass.

00:07:27.000 Sometimes I'm suspicious of some of these guys.

00:07:31.000 Like the young guys with in great shape to go, hey, are you moving around today?

00:07:36.000 Yeah, I could.

00:07:37.000 Why are you so eager, though?

00:07:39.000 Like guys my age aren't going, hey, you moving around?

00:07:42.000 But young guys can't wait to get me in the ring.

00:07:46.000 And I think it's because they want to beat the fuck out of an old man.

00:07:50.000 Boom!

00:07:51.000 That's me.

00:07:53.000 It's what I'm trying to say is I'm a victim of ageism.

00:07:58.000 You think being black is hard?

00:08:00.000 Try being old.

00:08:02.000 It sucks.

00:08:03.000 You've seen my brother Harvey Weinstein going to court with his little tennis ball walker?

00:08:09.000 That's what it's like for us.

00:08:11.000 We have trouble walking.

00:08:15.000 Well, there he is.

00:08:18.000 That's bad.

00:08:20.000 I can't rape.

00:08:21.000 I'm too weak.

00:08:22.000 Too weak to rape.

00:08:24.000 Actually, America has become so annoying, the culture, pop culture, social media, that we found ourselves this week defending Harvey Weinstein.

00:08:34.000 That's right.

00:08:35.000 It's a weird feeling.

00:08:36.000 And Jeffrey Epstein.

00:08:39.000 Because I was thinking, like, wait a minute, how old were these girls?

00:08:42.000 They keep saying he fucked kids, but it's not like he had four-year-olds on his island.

00:08:46.000 I thought he did.

00:08:47.000 No, that's the thing.

00:08:48.000 Like, four-year-old, imagine four-year-old boys getting raped, and you go, that's a bad guy.

00:08:52.000 Or tied up.

00:08:53.000 I think they were like 17.

00:08:54.000 That's legal, I think, in America.

00:08:56.000 I think the age of consent is 17.

00:08:57.000 It's not my cup of tea, but some of them were 16.

00:09:02.000 Or were some of them 14?

00:09:04.000 Yeah, that's terrible.

00:09:05.000 You know who fucked 14-year-olds?

00:09:08.000 David Bowie.

00:09:09.000 Alice Cooper.

00:09:10.000 David Bowie and his wife.

00:09:12.000 Jimmy Page.

00:09:17.000 Keith Moon.

00:09:19.000 They all fucked the same 14-year-old groupie.

00:09:21.000 I did a video about it.

00:09:23.000 Yep.

00:09:25.000 What are you looking up now?

00:09:26.000 What are you looking up, you tard?

00:09:28.000 Rock stars with young girl.

00:09:30.000 Rock star, and then a bunch of young girl rock stars show up.

00:09:33.000 You suck.

00:09:35.000 You suck.

00:09:36.000 You just look up groupie?

00:09:37.000 Of course, you're going to see a bunch of Halloween costumes.

00:09:39.000 You should look up like Jimmy Page Groupie.

00:09:43.000 Fuck.

00:09:44.000 11 rock star who allegedly slept with under his girl.

00:09:49.000 Yeah, do we hate Jimmy Page as much as we hate Jeffrey Epstein?

00:09:54.000 Actually, was that in the notes?

00:09:57.000 This is kind of a tangent, but they had all his charges, Harvey Weinstein's charges.

00:10:04.000 Here I am defending Harvey Weinstein, the awesome Harvey Weinstein.

00:10:08.000 Here's my point.

00:10:12.000 It's called a casting couch.

00:10:14.000 This is your culture, Hollywood, and it's been going on forever.

00:10:19.000 Women blowing directors in order to get a movie role.

00:10:24.000 Gays blowing gay directors in order to get a movie role.

00:10:28.000 If you did that, you're an expensive prostitute.

00:10:32.000 You're not a victim.

00:10:34.000 Now, if you were raped, then call the fucking cops.

00:10:39.000 And if you don't, then you're complicit in his future attacks.

00:10:44.000 So you're partly responsible.

00:10:46.000 Yes, I am blaming the victim.

00:10:48.000 Yeah, but it's so hard.

00:10:51.000 620,000 men died in the Civil War.

00:10:53.000 You can be uncomfortable catching a rapist.

00:10:57.000 Yeah, but if you didn't blow him, you'd be kicked out of the industry.

00:11:01.000 Okay.

00:11:04.000 If Harvey Weinstein said, you either blow me or a censored TV is done.

00:11:09.000 A censored TV is done.

00:11:12.000 It's time to get a trade.

00:11:14.000 I'm going to welding school.

00:11:17.000 Happened to me a million times in advertising.

00:11:18.000 Homo said, if you would let me blow you, you could have got this contract.

00:11:24.000 And I said, well, I'm not a fucking whore.

00:11:29.000 I know, this is crazy.

00:11:30.000 I'm shocking myself, but I don't really know what he did.

00:11:33.000 Like, there's the Lauren Savon one is my favorite one because that's clear-cut.

00:11:38.000 He was jerking off in a restaurant kitchen, and she couldn't get past him.

00:11:44.000 And then he jizzed into a plant.

00:11:45.000 But that's sexual assault.

00:11:46.000 She should have called the cops the next day.

00:11:49.000 The rest of these charges, like the Marissa Tomei one, he said, blow me.

00:11:54.000 She said, no.

00:11:55.000 He made sure she never worked again.

00:11:56.000 Her brother should beat him up.

00:11:58.000 But is that illegal?

00:12:00.000 What he did?

00:12:00.000 Anyway, go back to the list.

00:12:02.000 Let's see some of these because I'm talking out of my ass.

00:12:05.000 I actually can't read these very well.

00:12:06.000 Just go.

00:12:06.000 Jesus, there's 100 of them.

00:12:08.000 Go to the first one.

00:12:09.000 Let's start at number one.

00:12:11.000 We're not going to go through all hundred.

00:12:14.000 Amber Anderson, known for the Riot Club.

00:12:18.000 She said he coerced her into a private meeting.

00:12:21.000 He behaved inappropriately and propositioned a personal relationship to further my career.

00:12:28.000 Whilst bragging, ew, I hate the word whilst.

00:12:31.000 Whilst bragging about other actresses, he had helped in a similar way.

00:12:35.000 He tried to take my hand and put it in his lap, which is when I managed to leave the room.

00:12:39.000 That's a boring story.

00:12:40.000 That's called a creep.

00:12:42.000 Yeah.

00:12:42.000 This doesn't belong in court.

00:12:46.000 Lisette Anthony, an English model, an actress of husbands and wives.

00:12:50.000 That's my second favorite movie after Animal House.

00:12:52.000 I guess she played The Mistress.

00:12:54.000 Is that with Eugene Levy?

00:12:56.000 No.

00:12:57.000 No, not that one.

00:13:00.000 An English model, blah, blah, blah.

00:13:02.000 She told that Weinstein raped her in her home in the late 80s.

00:13:07.000 Why didn't you call the cops?

00:13:11.000 Who the fuck gets raped and doesn't call the cops?

00:13:15.000 Somebody doesn't want to lose their job.

00:13:17.000 If I was raped, I would devote my life to revenge.

00:13:22.000 I'm not even sure I'd be satisfied with him thrown in jail.

00:13:26.000 I'd want to like cut his eyes out.

00:13:29.000 I wouldn't be like, let's just, can we just forget it?

00:13:31.000 I'd roll him in a carpet and put it in a pool.

00:13:34.000 I'd chop his legs off and then slowly feed them to him in a soup.

00:13:39.000 An Italian actress, we know Asia Argento, she killed Anthony Bourdain.

00:13:44.000 Did you know?

00:13:44.000 Whoa.

00:13:45.000 Allegedly.

00:13:46.000 Well, she cheated on him with her best friend.

00:13:49.000 He just came out of a divorce.

00:13:51.000 He was weak.

00:13:52.000 He had been a junkie.

00:13:53.000 He probably went back on Smack.

00:13:55.000 But anyway, when he realized that Asia doesn't love him or that she's with his best friend, he felt so betrayed.

00:14:00.000 He offed himself.

00:14:01.000 She didn't get any shit for that, by the way.

00:14:03.000 Talk about female privilege.

00:14:06.000 In fact, you know what I heard about that whole thing?

00:14:08.000 The photographer who took the picture of Asia with Anthony's buddy felt terrible.

00:14:14.000 Yeah, it's your fault, dude, for noticing her cheating.

00:14:18.000 Anyway, let's go back to Asia as I defend the fattest, most disgusting piece of shit in American history.

00:14:25.000 She told the New Yorker that in 1997, when she was 21, Weinstein asked for a massage and forcibly performed oral sex on her at a hotel in France.

00:14:35.000 Forcibly performed?

00:14:37.000 Well, you should have called the cops.

00:14:39.000 Why didn't you call the cops the next day?

00:14:41.000 Why are we hearing about this a decade later?

00:14:49.000 What's next?

00:14:50.000 So are any of these, yeah, these are either rape or bullshit.

00:14:54.000 And if they were rape, you should have called the cops.

00:14:55.000 Jessica Barth, we're only at number five.

00:14:57.000 We'll stop at this one.

00:14:58.000 The 37-year-old actress from the TED Films told the New Yorker he invited her to a business meeting in Spelly's hotel room at the Golden Globes.

00:15:05.000 Barth later recalls he had champagne waiting and alternated between offering her, offering to cast her in a film and demanding a naked massage.

00:15:14.000 She claims that when she moved toward the door to leave, Weinstein lashed out saying that she needs to lose weight to compete with Mila Kunis.

00:15:22.000 Good tip.

00:15:22.000 The fuck's the matter with that?

00:15:23.000 You got a free tip?

00:15:24.000 This is in a courtroom?

00:15:26.000 This is wasting our time in court?

00:15:32.000 That's the thing.

00:15:32.000 It's like unpleasant experiences dilute the rape ones.

00:15:37.000 It's not a crime to be a disgusting pig.

00:15:39.000 Yeah, to try.

00:15:41.000 Well, slow down, Ryan.

00:15:43.000 We're talking about the law here.

00:15:45.000 You're defending him as a person.

00:15:46.000 He's a shit stain.

00:15:48.000 Ah, dude, he tried to hook up with my sister.

00:15:50.000 Cynthia.

00:15:52.000 Burr.

00:15:54.000 Anyway, that's the crazy.

00:15:56.000 That's the problem with Clown World, is you start defending demons from hell just to spite the left.

00:16:05.000 That's the problem with what?

00:16:07.000 Clown World.

00:16:11.000 This is the front page.

00:16:12.000 Meg Sit, Megan Markle, and Prince Harry are trying to distance themselves from the royal family and try to become more independent.

00:16:21.000 We're going to take a moment here on the show to try to care about that.

00:16:26.000 Let's have a moment of silence as we summon everything we can from the tips of our toes up our ankles.

00:16:34.000 See if you can drum up a milligram of care.

00:16:40.000 Oh, I'm trying.

00:16:42.000 I feel there might be like a little grain of rice making its way up my femoral artery.

00:16:48.000 No.

00:16:49.000 Oh, that's a fart.

00:16:50.000 Oh, anything?

00:16:52.000 It's a grain of sand?

00:16:54.000 No.

00:16:56.000 Don't fucking.

00:16:58.000 How could you care?

00:16:59.000 I actually fell asleep back there.

00:17:00.000 If a piano fell on their heads, I'd go, oh, that's freaky.

00:17:05.000 On whose heads?

00:17:06.000 I don't know.

00:17:06.000 Pianos are dangerous.

00:17:09.000 They still do that?

00:17:10.000 They lift a piano outside the building and then take it through like a big bay window.

00:17:14.000 I mean, I guess they're really heavy.

00:17:17.000 How often does that happen?

00:17:21.000 You get insurance for that?

00:17:24.000 You get so bored, you get senile.

00:17:29.000 Piano?

00:17:29.000 Piano, Phil.

00:17:30.000 Hi, Archie.

00:17:31.000 I was watching Strangers with Candy with my daughter last night.

00:17:33.000 It was such a fucking hilarious episode.

00:17:35.000 Strangers with Candy.

00:17:37.000 It's just the gift that keeps on giving.

00:17:40.000 How many episodes they got?

00:17:41.000 Oh, there were several seasons.

00:17:43.000 But they find out Jerry Blank, she's trying out to be a cheerleader and she can't read.

00:17:47.000 And they're going, give me a V, give me an I, give me a C, give me a T, give me an O, give me an R, give me a Y. What does that spell?

00:17:53.000 And she goes, win.

00:17:55.000 And they go, Jerry Blank can't read.

00:17:57.000 Ha!

00:17:58.000 And then when she, the teacher hires, teacher is sort of put on her case because the principal is embarrassed that one of his students can't read.

00:18:06.000 And she goes, I can read.

00:18:08.000 Look, desk, desk, pen, pen, window.

00:18:18.000 30 episodes.

00:18:19.000 And then there's so many jokes you couldn't do today.

00:18:21.000 Like he's holding up cards and she's identifying them.

00:18:25.000 And he holds up an A and she goes, TP.

00:18:27.000 And then she holds up a capital I and she goes, doggy bone.

00:18:31.000 And then he holds up a capital E and she goes, pitchfork on its side with the handle broken off.

00:18:36.000 And then he stops and stares at her.

00:18:37.000 And then she goes, faggot.

00:18:40.000 And he goes like that.

00:18:41.000 And she goes, it's just a reading joke.

00:18:46.000 Meanwhile, you have in the hangover, they go, paging Dr. Faggot.

00:18:54.000 And huge backlash now against that.

00:18:56.000 And Todd Joker guy.

00:18:58.000 What's his name?

00:19:00.000 The director of the Joker guy.

00:19:01.000 Todd Phillips.

00:19:02.000 Todd Phillips goes, comedy's gotten too politically correct.

00:19:06.000 You can't be funny anymore.

00:19:07.000 And then the backlash.

00:19:08.000 It's like, oh, yeah, Paging Dr. Faggot is funny.

00:19:10.000 Yeah.

00:19:11.000 It was a very hilarious scene because the doctor, the dentist, was just talking about how his friends are mature, and he's going to have a great weekend.

00:19:25.000 So yeah, I have a headache.

00:19:27.000 Every time I cough, it hurts because I got punched in the head by a Swede.

00:19:30.000 I was talking to him initially about this movie that changed my life.

00:19:38.000 Holy shit, is it good?

00:19:41.000 It might have squeezed into my top 10.

00:19:43.000 It's called Ferst Mejer.

00:19:47.000 French name, but it's Swedish.

00:19:50.000 I guess there's plenty of Swedish French people.

00:19:52.000 Or maybe that just looks the same as French as in Swedish, but it's not in the notes.

00:19:58.000 It's about a father who is on a ski trip with his wife and his two kids, and he represents not just masculinity, but Swedish masculinity.

00:20:07.000 Anyway, there's an avalanche, spoiler alert.

00:20:11.000 They think they're going to die.

00:20:13.000 And as she grabs the kids, she's not really strong enough to pick them up.

00:20:16.000 He grabs his phone and his mitts and runs in the opposite direction.

00:20:20.000 Jeez.

00:20:21.000 And she can't get over it.

00:20:23.000 Wow.

00:20:24.000 And nor can he.

00:20:27.000 And it's such a brilliant movie for so many reasons.

00:20:31.000 And one of them is we all know that if it happened to us, we would put the table down and put the kids behind us and make sure we batten the hatches, right?

00:20:42.000 Let's turn it up.

00:20:48.000 The music is cool, too.

00:20:52.000 We have some privacy.

00:20:54.000 What do you want?

00:20:56.000 The concept of wind, so you could come back and grab them up.

00:21:06.000 That's the guy from Game of Thrones he's in it.

00:21:08.000 Ahhhhhhh!

00:21:14.000 In a way, it's praising those guys.

00:21:16.000 That's kind of a proud boys moment.

00:21:27.000 He's a sobbing mess.

00:21:28.000 Force majeure.

00:21:30.000 But yeah, the scary part is.

00:21:34.000 What the fuck?

00:21:36.000 What if that happened to you and you did grab your phone?

00:21:39.000 What if you don't know that you're a pussy?

00:21:41.000 Because you don't really know until there's a home intruder or some guy on the subway slaps your mom.

00:21:48.000 Now we all go, yeah, fuck that.

00:21:50.000 I wouldn't fucking get it.

00:21:51.000 Yeah, I know, I know.

00:21:52.000 And I agree.

00:21:53.000 I am 99.999% sure I would hospitalize the guy.

00:21:57.000 But what if I just sat there and went, we never did anything to you?

00:22:01.000 Yeah, what's the brave thing?

00:22:02.000 You'd have to kill yourself.

00:22:04.000 You'd never be able to live with yourself.

00:22:06.000 Anyway.

00:22:07.000 I don't know if I've ever done anything brave.

00:22:10.000 Did you hear what Ryan just said?

00:22:12.000 I don't know if I've ever done anything brave.

00:22:14.000 You had in a fight the other day with that guy.

00:22:17.000 That was over the summer.

00:22:19.000 But that was a bit.

00:22:20.000 I went to Ryan's apartment the other day.

00:22:22.000 He has PPTSD.

00:22:24.000 What's PPTSD?

00:22:26.000 No, he has PRPTSD.

00:22:28.000 Puerto Rican?

00:22:28.000 Puerto Rican post-traumatic stress syndrome.

00:22:31.000 What is that?

00:22:31.000 Where you just eat Fritos?

00:22:33.000 No, it's when you put your sugar in the fridge in a bag, even though there hasn't been a roach in your building ever.

00:22:39.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:40.000 Never seen a roach.

00:22:41.000 He puts his sugar in a plastic bag sealed in his fridge.

00:22:46.000 So the roaches are like, oh.

00:22:48.000 Well, I give him zero reason to hang out.

00:22:51.000 Give who?

00:22:51.000 There's no roaches in your building, dude.

00:22:54.000 In a building, there's roaches.

00:22:55.000 There's got to be.

00:22:56.000 No, there is not.

00:22:57.000 You know, he had sugar before that was out.

00:23:01.000 And I go, whatever happened to that sugar?

00:23:02.000 And he goes, I think the roaches ate it.

00:23:05.000 They crawled up into the box, ate all the sugar, turned it to shit, I guess, and left.

00:23:11.000 So everyone was just sprinkling.

00:23:12.000 Everyone who came over, had a coffee, they were sprinkling roach shit.

00:23:15.000 Not true.

00:23:16.000 And I know this about Puerto Ricans.

00:23:18.000 They're paranoid about roaches.

00:23:19.000 I've had Larry Bronx.

00:23:21.000 Yeah.

00:23:21.000 I've had Larry Izzo, ex-exterminator, come over and he did a thing.

00:23:25.000 He was like, no, you're good.

00:23:27.000 I was like, I don't believe you.

00:23:29.000 Because you have PRPTSD.

00:23:31.000 You know what Puerto Ricans do?

00:23:32.000 After they have a pizza, it's obviously very hard to get it into the garbage.

00:23:36.000 They put it in the sink.

00:23:38.000 I don't.

00:23:39.000 Wet it.

00:23:40.000 If you will.

00:23:41.000 And get good at wetting it, if you will.

00:23:45.000 And then they roll it into a tube, bend that, and put that in the garbage.

00:23:50.000 I don't, but I know what you're talking about.

00:23:53.000 That's how, yeah.

00:23:53.000 That would make sense.

00:23:54.000 You're traumatized.

00:23:58.000 That was really well done, dude.

00:23:58.000 Damn it.

00:24:00.000 Really soon.

00:24:01.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:24:03.000 Oh, just in time.

00:24:05.000 You were going to take Fred's job away from him over at Stern.

00:24:09.000 We don't give a damn.

00:24:11.000 I don't know how he's that fast with those.

00:24:14.000 I was watching a clip with David Spade talking about something, and he's talking about he's creeped out, so then a horror thing comes up.

00:24:22.000 Does he just have a bunch of buttons or does he have a sound?

00:24:24.000 I have some theories.

00:24:26.000 Here's my theory.

00:24:27.000 those of you don't listen to Stern, you don't know what we're talking about, but Fred has these, his co-worker, who he's been with forever, has these audio drops where he'll talk about a fart and then he'll...

00:24:38.000 I think he has four iPads.

00:24:40.000 And So the fart is a but.

00:24:48.000 And he's memorized them over time.

00:24:51.000 And so it's instinctual.

00:24:52.000 Now there's esoteric ones where he has to go on his computer and put in a search word, right?

00:24:58.000 Like a lady falling down the stairs.

00:25:00.000 He only does that one once a year.

00:25:01.000 But as far as the heavy rotation ones, it's four iPads and just a ton of pictures.

00:25:08.000 Oh, I see.

00:25:08.000 Okay.

00:25:09.000 Yeah, because the images would, yeah, there's no way you could read.

00:25:12.000 But then he did tape stuff too, right?

00:25:14.000 Is that Fred there?

00:25:15.000 Yeah.

00:25:16.000 I've never seen what he looks like.

00:25:18.000 You know what's funny about Stern?

00:25:18.000 No way.

00:25:20.000 Every time you look up the guy, you go, that's exactly what it is.

00:25:23.000 Yeah, that is weird.

00:25:24.000 Jackie looks like what Jackie sounds like.

00:25:26.000 I've never seen that guy, Fred Norris, before.

00:25:28.000 I didn't even know his last name was Norris.

00:25:30.000 That's exactly what he sounds like.

00:25:30.000 That's crazy.

00:25:32.000 So you've never seen Private Parts?

00:25:33.000 No.

00:25:34.000 You would love it, wouldn't you?

00:25:36.000 Look at all those tapes.

00:25:36.000 Yeah, whatever.

00:25:37.000 He usually has one mediocre movie, and he's the king of all media.

00:25:42.000 You're the king of movies, Howard.

00:25:42.000 Woo-hoo of the kids.

00:25:48.000 I want to show you some fighting tips and how you can beat up anyone you want.

00:25:53.000 But before we do, I'd like to talk about our other fantastic sponsor, Bet DSI.

00:25:58.000 Why choose Bet DSI?

00:26:00.000 Because I use Bet DSI.

00:26:02.000 I win and I love it.

00:26:03.000 Bet DSI has been paying winners for 20 years.

00:26:06.000 Bet DSI's Bet DSI is top rated on betting review sites.

00:26:10.000 So use your sports knowledge to make some extra cash this week, like I do.

00:26:14.000 Bet DSI has a very user-friendly interface and mobile site, and BetDSI takes/slash pays out Bitcoin as well as cash.

00:26:22.000 Bet DSI is the fastest payouts in the industry.

00:26:25.000 Simply play, win, and get paid.

00:26:27.000 New members get 120% bonus match using promo code GAVIN.

00:26:33.000 That's more than double your money to start winning today.

00:26:36.000 I play at Bet DSI, and I recommend Bet DSI if you want to win extra cash.

00:26:39.000 Once again, go to betdsi.com, use promo code GAVIN and get this limited time 120% bonus offer plus a $25 free wager to test the waters.

00:26:49.000 Don't miss out and go make some extra cash betting this season.

00:26:53.000 It's only a game until you bet it at Bet DSI.

00:26:56.000 And speaking of betting, would you like to see me step in the ring with a heavyweight who's been, he's, I don't know his record.

00:27:04.000 I think he's got 40 fights, 38 and 2.

00:27:08.000 And the twos were not KOs.

00:27:10.000 They were indecisions.

00:27:11.000 He's got an incredible record, and he's putty in my hands.

00:27:15.000 and I'm about to explain why.

00:27:26.000 Hey, guys, let's talk about the sweet science, the science of boxing.

00:27:30.000 This is me in the ring with a giant guy.

00:27:32.000 You can see he's got a tattoo of a boxer on his arm.

00:27:36.000 He's obviously been doing this for a long time.

00:27:37.000 He's a heavyweight, so it seems crazy that I would get in the ring with him.

00:27:40.000 But I know so many techniques that I can fight anyone.

00:27:45.000 That's the beauty of this sport, is it's all about the chess moves you got up here.

00:27:51.000 So you can see, you can see the first thing I'm doing even before I start the fight is my stance.

00:27:55.000 Think of yourself as a piece of paper, right?

00:27:58.000 If you didn't want to be hit when you were a piece of paper, you turn sideways.

00:28:01.000 Now you're just a line.

00:28:02.000 So I start out the fight as a skinny line that can't be punched.

00:28:07.000 All right, let's start the battle.

00:28:09.000 Teasing him out there, just getting a fee.

00:28:11.000 I'm feeling him out here, feeling where he's at.

00:28:14.000 I don't have to put my hands up by my face.

00:28:16.000 Oh, just pause.

00:28:17.000 Did you see what I did there?

00:28:18.000 I dipped down and got the body.

00:28:20.000 He's taller than me.

00:28:21.000 His head's hard to get to.

00:28:22.000 Whoa, did you see that move?

00:28:24.000 I don't even remember that.

00:28:26.000 Look at me, Deke.

00:28:27.000 I go down, I hit the body.

00:28:29.000 Down, hit the body.

00:28:31.000 I'm just going to slowly chip away at his ribs and his stomach until he can't breathe anymore.

00:28:38.000 If I get a chance to hit the head, that's fine.

00:28:41.000 But for the most part, I'm just going to keep beating away at that torso, that core, and breaking him down that way.

00:28:48.000 Sometimes the head is a treat that you don't get to have.

00:28:53.000 Okay, so now stop.

00:28:56.000 Now I'm talking shit and getting in his head.

00:28:59.000 That's another thing.

00:28:59.000 I learned that from the great Ali.

00:29:01.000 I don't know what I'm saying now.

00:29:02.000 I'm probably calling him a bitch.

00:29:05.000 He's not a bitch, but if I can get bitch into his head, I can scare him a little bit.

00:29:11.000 Tom goes.

00:29:12.000 The fucking balls are going to me like that.

00:29:14.000 Pause.

00:29:15.000 Did you hear that?

00:29:16.000 I said, you got fucking balls stepping to me like that.

00:29:21.000 Now I got the fear in him.

00:29:22.000 And this is when I set up for what I like to call the 360 punch.

00:29:27.000 Okay?

00:29:28.000 So I instill fear.

00:29:30.000 You know, when you have prostate cancer, they put radioactive isotopes in your taint.

00:29:35.000 I'm planting a radioactive isotope in his taint.

00:29:38.000 That makes him weak.

00:29:39.000 And then I prepare for the 360.

00:29:41.000 Now, the 360 happens so fast that you're going to think you're watching the Tasmanian Devil.

00:29:47.000 So you may have to slow-mo this, but it's a cracker of a punch.

00:29:52.000 Ready?

00:29:55.000 Did you see that?

00:29:57.000 Now, I didn't happen to connect, but if I had, he would definitely be unconscious right now.

00:30:01.000 Watch it in slow motion.

00:30:03.000 And he doesn't know what I'm doing.

00:30:05.000 I turn away.

00:30:06.000 Whack.

00:30:07.000 Didn't actually connect, but what a whack that should have been.

00:30:11.000 And he's pretending to laugh there in order to hide his fear.

00:30:15.000 Can we just watch it one more time?

00:30:17.000 Can you imagine if that connected?

00:30:21.000 Now, I have to keep him distracted.

00:30:25.000 And I don't know if you're familiar with the scissor kick, where you lift up one leg and then use the momentum to do another leg.

00:30:32.000 Technically, you're not allowed to kick in boxing, but you can flail your legs around.

00:30:38.000 And that shows your opponent that you're in great shape.

00:30:40.000 You got a lot of gas in the tank.

00:30:42.000 And it also makes him look down, which makes him vulnerable to an uppercut.

00:30:46.000 Let's watch this.

00:30:48.000 Get him down.

00:30:49.000 And pause.

00:30:51.000 Did you see that?

00:30:53.000 I do the scissor kick, not just to distract him and get his eyes down, but to get myself low for an uppercut.

00:30:59.000 Look at that.

00:30:59.000 I'm at least four feet in the air there.

00:31:02.000 Up we go.

00:31:05.000 Up and down.

00:31:07.000 And then I come up.

00:31:12.000 And boom, get him in the stomach again.

00:31:14.000 This guy's going to be shitting blood for two weeks.

00:31:17.000 Okay, so I've planted some isotopes in his taint.

00:31:21.000 I did the 360.

00:31:22.000 I did the scissor kick.

00:31:24.000 Now he thinks it's his turn.

00:31:26.000 This is where you really got to put up, you really got to maximize the head bobbing and weaving.

00:31:32.000 And watch how intense I get with it.

00:31:37.000 You can't get me.

00:31:40.000 That means not Seamha Med Floyd Mayweather.

00:31:43.000 Mariello doesn't know what to do.

00:31:45.000 He is starving.

00:31:46.000 You hear that?

00:31:46.000 Doesn't know what to do.

00:31:48.000 Oh, just pause.

00:31:49.000 That's the last thing I'll show you.

00:31:50.000 Great trick I learned from Terrence Crawford.

00:31:53.000 You go low, hit the body.

00:31:55.000 He's like, what's this guy hitting my body for?

00:31:57.000 Oh, my body, my body.

00:31:58.000 As he's thinking about his body, overhand right to the head.

00:32:02.000 Boom.

00:32:03.000 Did I connect that one?

00:32:07.000 Look at him.

00:32:08.000 He's petrified.

00:32:10.000 Basically, I hit him.

00:32:12.000 So, folks, boxing isn't about who's the biggest, who's the strongest.

00:32:17.000 It's about who's the smartest.

00:32:19.000 And clearly in this fight, I'm much smarter than my opponent.

00:32:23.000 And that's why I was able to beat the living shit out of him.

00:32:26.000 You're welcome.

00:32:37.000 That song, people keep asking us, who is that band?

00:32:39.000 That's our buddy who made it.

00:32:41.000 So, do you want me to tell people who you are?

00:32:43.000 And he goes, No, you're not really good for my brand.

00:32:46.000 I'll be ostracized in the community if people find out that I made you that song.

00:32:51.000 He'll be ostrich-sized.

00:32:55.000 Cancel culture is real, folks.

00:32:58.000 Even your friends don't want to be around you.

00:33:01.000 Let's briefly, so that was a fantastic piece.

00:33:06.000 When Ryan saw it, he said, was that a real fight?

00:33:09.000 Yeah.

00:33:11.000 Imagine having a brain like that.

00:33:13.000 I bet if I did a CAT scan, it's just like a little mouse's brain.

00:33:18.000 Why would you try to find a mouse's brain with a CAT scan?

00:33:24.000 But that's the kind of fun thing we do on this.

00:33:27.000 So I know subscribers don't want to hear this.

00:33:30.000 And by the way, subscribers are going to be taking calls at about 9.

00:33:35.000 And that won't be free.

00:33:37.000 This is free on YouTube.

00:33:38.000 So I like to show the public what an incredible show this is.

00:33:41.000 That's right.

00:33:42.000 And I'm such a pariah, I can't really get guests.

00:33:44.000 No one wants to be associated with me.

00:33:46.000 So I'm my own guest.

00:33:48.000 And this week we had a scoop.

00:33:50.000 We proved that James Corden is a sex comedian.

00:33:53.000 At least that's his past.

00:33:55.000 He was in a sexual sitcom called Gavin and Stacey, wherein he was sodomized with a double dong.

00:34:03.000 And the fact that this man has become America's family-friendly sweetheart just shows that I'm stalling as much as I can while you fucking find this tard boy.

00:34:14.000 What are you doing?

00:34:16.000 Hey.

00:34:18.000 Are you ready for the clip?

00:34:19.000 Yeah.

00:34:20.000 This isn't a family show, but we do avoid porn.

00:34:22.000 We do avoid things getting ahead.

00:34:24.000 I want to see it with you, but sometimes the news involves karaoke.

00:34:33.000 Family guy.

00:34:34.000 And Johnny's a conduct.

00:34:38.000 I want to see the part where he gets come up his butt.

00:34:40.000 Here he interrupts his friends after this.

00:34:44.000 Oh, God, the guilt.

00:34:45.000 There we go.

00:34:46.000 The guilt of being pegged.

00:34:49.000 In this scene, he's realized that he's been sodomized by a sexual pervert, a Dominatrix from Wales, and he is pretending that he regrets that.

00:35:02.000 No, mate.

00:35:02.000 Look, what's the point?

00:35:03.000 You've got to.

00:35:04.000 No, you don't.

00:35:04.000 I have.

00:35:05.000 Why?

00:35:05.000 You don't understand.

00:35:10.000 She did things.

00:35:12.000 Mate.

00:35:14.000 She put things in.

00:35:17.000 There we go.

00:35:18.000 Also, this week, we tried out some...

00:35:25.000 And I think it might be the least funny thing I've ever done.

00:35:28.000 My God character.

00:35:30.000 Ouch.

00:35:31.000 I wouldn't be remotely surprised if it appeared on Cringe Reddit.

00:35:35.000 I could just see my six-year-old eating cheesies going, cringe.

00:35:41.000 It's so not funny that I don't even think I can bear watching it.

00:35:46.000 That chest is leathery.

00:35:49.000 She's like 60.

00:35:51.000 She's got two little kids.

00:35:53.000 All right.

00:35:54.000 So, I suspect something is up.

00:35:58.000 I suspect the deal is because Satan never gives you what you ask for.

00:36:03.000 Exactly.

00:36:04.000 Jump to God.

00:36:06.000 You shouldn't punish subscribers.

00:36:07.000 I don't like it at all.

00:36:08.000 There we go.

00:36:09.000 Hey, buddy.

00:36:10.000 Hi, God.

00:36:12.000 Basically, in a nutshell, you nailed it.

00:36:15.000 That's what is going on here.

00:36:16.000 And I don't like it at all.

00:36:18.000 That's enough.

00:36:20.000 That gives you the idea of what was going on there.

00:36:21.000 What?

00:36:21.000 What are you doing?

00:36:22.000 Trying to show your reaction to it.

00:36:24.000 You were really disgusted in yourself.

00:36:26.000 You know what was weird?

00:36:27.000 While I was doing it, I'm sitting in that mask with that fitted sheet over my shoulders.

00:36:32.000 And I'm thinking, this is not funny.

00:36:35.000 Like when I did the boxing thing just now, I could feel it.

00:36:38.000 This is gold.

00:36:39.000 And I'm amusing myself.

00:36:41.000 You can feel when you're doing it.

00:36:42.000 It's like sex.

00:36:43.000 You can tell if she's like, I'm never doing this again.

00:36:46.000 This did not work out.

00:36:47.000 And you can also feel when you're blowing your mind.

00:36:49.000 I could feel me blowing your mind with the boxing thing.

00:36:52.000 The God thing, I was just like, what have I?

00:36:54.000 I'm never doing this again.

00:36:57.000 Also this week, a rumor started that Nick Fuentes is gay because he went on a date with a guy named Cat Boy.

00:37:05.000 This is the date.

00:37:07.000 Making relationships, which is what they did together.

00:37:11.000 To stop men from making relationships because we're dying.

00:37:15.000 So then we tried it.

00:37:16.000 We went and got chips just like they did, and we made gay jokes and see how it felt, and it felt pretty gay.

00:37:24.000 So there's a thing in the Zeitgeist where they're realizing that it's cool for two buddies to sleep together in the same bed and to shower together and snuggle and stuff.

00:37:37.000 Bro cuddling.

00:37:38.000 Maybe smooch.

00:37:39.000 I don't know about smooching, but tickle each other.

00:37:42.000 Maybe lie on each other for motivation the same way and fart.

00:37:46.000 Like that's not a 69, it's like a 99.

00:37:52.000 That's considered cool.

00:37:55.000 Wow.

00:37:56.000 How does that feel?

00:37:59.000 Just kind of weird.

00:38:01.000 Yeah, Phil's gay.

00:38:02.000 And then finally, we had a...

00:38:08.000 Yeah.

00:38:08.000 Good punchline.

00:38:09.000 Nice ending.

00:38:10.000 We came to the conclusion.

00:38:11.000 Nick Fuentes is not gay.

00:38:13.000 Let me just clear up Nick Fuentes for all these fucking pussies on the right who think he's a Nazi and he's going to ruin the movement.

00:38:20.000 It's too controversial.

00:38:22.000 Everything about him is normal paleo-con isolationist stuff that most people agree with.

00:38:29.000 He's not a Holocaust denier.

00:38:30.000 He made a cookie joke once, God forbid.

00:38:34.000 His problem is with Israel.

00:38:36.000 He thinks we shouldn't be giving them 3.5 billion a year and we shouldn't be fighting wars on their behalf.

00:38:42.000 I know plenty of Israelis that don't like the 3.5 bill and think it gives them a bad rep and say, we're doing pretty good on our own.

00:38:50.000 We've got our own GDP.

00:38:51.000 It's not worth the headache at 3.5.

00:38:54.000 And as far as fighting wars, yeah, I think most of us want out of the Middle East.

00:38:59.000 So that's not that radical.

00:39:01.000 Secondly, they say they're concerned about demographic shifts in America, and that sounds like I don't want white women dating black men.

00:39:10.000 And that might be one of his personal preferences.

00:39:12.000 But the demographic thing is not an anti-race mixing thing, it's about the massive Hispanic invasion to the tune of 30 million, and the DNC is behind it, and they were doing it to get votes.

00:39:28.000 That is why in New York City, illegal aliens can get driver's licenses.

00:39:32.000 It's got nothing to do with helping people drive.

00:39:34.000 It's about votes.

00:39:37.000 I was at the Social Security office the other day, and I counted 35 people.

00:39:42.000 I got there right when it opened, so I wouldn't have to wait.

00:39:45.000 Only way you can deal with government bureaucracy is to get there before they open, wait outside in the cold, and it'll get down to like, you'll be in and out in half an hour.

00:39:52.000 Otherwise, it's ours.

00:39:53.000 Anyway, I would say there was out of 35 people, there was three white guys, like who spoke English without an accent.

00:40:02.000 There was about 10 black people, but they didn't speak like with an American accent.

00:40:09.000 They were refugees, Somalians, stuff like that.

00:40:13.000 So, and then the rest were all Hispanics who didn't speak English.

00:40:16.000 Plainly had no idea.

00:40:18.000 He's like, okay, go sit down there, ma'am.

00:40:19.000 She's like, what?

00:40:21.000 Papimpa?

00:40:22.000 What are you?

00:40:23.000 Excuse me.

00:40:24.000 Why you, why?

00:40:25.000 Sit down.

00:40:26.000 It's a very, it's one of the first words you should learn in English.

00:40:29.000 Me, you, thank you, goodbye, sit.

00:40:31.000 It's very close to the Spanish word, too.

00:40:34.000 What's the Spanish?

00:40:35.000 Sientate.

00:40:37.000 Sit.

00:40:38.000 Sit.

00:40:38.000 Sienta.

00:40:41.000 So yeah, they're calling Nick gay because he's too influential.

00:40:45.000 Why are you gay?

00:40:45.000 The only movement he's...

00:40:47.000 Why do you eat the poo-poo?

00:40:48.000 Yeah.

00:40:54.000 Waka.

00:40:55.000 Waka.

00:40:56.000 Anyway, the last greatest hit segment I'm going to allude to is yesterday's I'm of Two Minds thing, where I realized in my phone, I was writing down notes about things that I feel strongly about both ways.

00:41:10.000 Perfect example being a pretty girl inviting a handicapped autistic guy to prom.

00:41:17.000 On the one hand, I think, don't do him any fake favors.

00:41:19.000 It's such a phony gesture.

00:41:21.000 And then on the other hand, I think, why not?

00:41:24.000 He's having a great time.

00:41:26.000 I'm of two minds about.

00:41:28.000 You should know as a person that you're a better person when a woman is around.

00:41:35.000 And by that, I mean when you've had someone make you a sandwich.

00:41:39.000 There's before lunch you and after lunch you.

00:41:42.000 And without a woman making you a sandwich, you're going to be before lunch you.

00:41:46.000 They've done studies where they've discovered that judges actually give out more lenient sentences after lunch.

00:41:53.000 So if you're on trial, you want to make sure the sentencing happens around 3 p.m.

00:41:59.000 Anyway, I haven't had lunch yet.

00:42:03.000 All right, so that's the weekend review.

00:42:06.000 We're not getting to a lot of news items today.

00:42:09.000 This sort of free YouTube hour goes by pretty fast.

00:42:12.000 Do you have anything you want to cover before we get to the viewer mail?

00:42:15.000 Oh, what about the Australia thing?

00:42:17.000 Oh, yeah, we were wrong.

00:42:19.000 Well, Paul Joseph Watson was wrong, and he's so rarely wrong that I took it to heart.

00:42:23.000 He showed, first they said the continent of Australia is on fire.

00:42:27.000 And I laughed and said, no, it's not, you stupid bitch.

00:42:30.000 There wouldn't be, the death toll is kind of hard to find.

00:42:33.000 I've seen 17, I've seen 25.

00:42:37.000 And then they show this picture, and I said, no, the continent's not on fire.

00:42:42.000 Then I saw Paul Joseph Watson's video and they show the continent on fire.

00:42:45.000 And I go, holy shit, I was wrong.

00:42:47.000 That's weird, though.

00:42:48.000 How could it only be 20 deaths with an entire continent on fire?

00:42:51.000 That's the picture.

00:42:51.000 You got it there.

00:42:53.000 And then it turns out that's an artist's rendition of every fire that has been reported since November or October.

00:43:06.000 Yeah.

00:43:07.000 And that includes anything that's hotter than normal.

00:43:10.000 So like a tin roof or a family campfire would be included in that map.

00:43:17.000 So it's basically every time something was hot in the past few months in Australia.

00:43:22.000 But the actual map's still pretty grim.

00:43:25.000 And the fact that that topographical map is an amalgamation of just a few months shows that there's a lot of fucking fires going on.

00:43:33.000 But it seems to be delegated to the bottom right.

00:43:37.000 What do you call that?

00:43:38.000 The southwest?

00:43:41.000 Southeast.

00:43:42.000 Is that it?

00:43:43.000 I always get confused with east and west when you're looking at a map.

00:43:46.000 Is it my southeast, yeah?

00:43:50.000 I got to turn around backwards.

00:43:53.000 So that's actually not that.

00:43:54.000 But yeah, again, as we discussed yesterday, the reason for this fire is because environmentalists prevented brush fires because they thought it was bad for the carbon footprint.

00:44:06.000 Brush fires prevent forest fires.

00:44:08.000 More guns, less crime.

00:44:10.000 It's counterintuitive, but it works.

00:44:12.000 And so the greenies are responsible for this.

00:44:14.000 Now I'm seeing rumors, and then arsonists on top of that is a major problem down there.

00:44:19.000 Nothing to do with climate change.

00:44:20.000 Australia's had the same climate basically for the past hundred years.

00:44:25.000 And I'm even hearing rumors now that the arsonists could have been Extinction Rebellion.

00:44:33.000 There was an Extinction Rebellion guy who was caught lighting fires.

00:44:36.000 There was a Muslim kid who was caught lighting fires.

00:44:39.000 And Australian was laughing when he was arrested.

00:44:41.000 I don't know if they've caught the guy.

00:44:43.000 Why the fuck would you look up Extinction Rebellion?

00:44:48.000 In case people don't know what that is.

00:44:50.000 No, you look up Extinction Rebellion, fire, arson.

00:44:56.000 Like, I could literally get a robot to do this.

00:44:59.000 If they just latch onto keywords and then show pictures, I can just have like my voice box transcribed.

00:45:06.000 No, that's an ancient fucking story, you useless tard.

00:45:10.000 I saw fire.

00:45:12.000 I saw fire.

00:45:14.000 It's a fat.

00:45:16.000 Anyway, I've had enough of you.

00:45:20.000 I'm going to be taking calls shortly.

00:45:22.000 I'm going to go off the grid before we do that.

00:45:25.000 Stop looking that up, Ryan.

00:45:26.000 You failed.

00:45:27.000 And let's go into the mailbag.

00:45:31.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:45:36.000 Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.

00:45:41.000 Let me touch it.

00:45:44.000 We got to figure out a different way to deal with all this mail because it's like even that's 100 in the past.

00:45:49.000 It's 100 a day, and we get to maybe two a day.

00:45:54.000 I want to get that homeless guy in here and just pay him like 500 bucks to do a full day session.

00:46:02.000 Do we have his phone number?

00:46:04.000 I think I just have phones in 2020.

00:46:07.000 What about tomorrow we get him into the studio and just do like in the 1950s, they used to get these women and just make them record 900 songs.

00:46:18.000 The peanut duck.

00:46:19.000 The peanut duck, yeah.

00:46:22.000 Hope one of them was a hit.

00:46:24.000 I got to do the Milo show tomorrow.

00:46:26.000 We could just get him in one day and just get through all of these letters and we'd have a new show.

00:46:34.000 Larry's mailbag.

00:46:36.000 Larry's Mailbag, whatever his name is.

00:46:39.000 Anyway, in the interim, this is from Nick.

00:46:44.000 Public school privilege propaganda.

00:46:46.000 Oh, these always scare the shit out of me.

00:46:49.000 You want to know about a phobia?

00:46:50.000 My phobia is what they're doing to our kids in public school.

00:46:53.000 I attend a large Midwestern university, and while living in a dorm last semester, our residential advisor, whatever the fuck that is, posted the following flyers in our common area.

00:47:04.000 I couldn't believe how ridiculous some of these were.

00:47:07.000 What's taking you so long?

00:47:11.000 I wanted to get your thoughts on how inane public institutions have become in regards to the propaganda.

00:47:17.000 I like your new sunglasses.

00:47:19.000 All the best.

00:47:21.000 Now, these are kind of hard to read.

00:47:23.000 What do I got here?

00:47:25.000 I can't read these, you stupid ass.

00:47:29.000 So they're a little stupid.

00:47:30.000 Why is there a residential advisor in college?

00:47:32.000 They tell you how to sleep.

00:47:35.000 White privilege.

00:47:36.000 I can't read that.

00:47:38.000 You made these too small, you fucking loser.

00:47:41.000 They look like...

00:47:46.000 Why would you try to read it yourself?

00:47:49.000 Look at who's in college.

00:47:51.000 Nick, you suck.

00:47:52.000 Fuck you.

00:47:53.000 That would have been really fun to read these.

00:47:55.000 They're called Understanding Privilege.

00:47:56.000 There's little cards on their walls.

00:47:58.000 That would have been great if you just thought.

00:48:01.000 No, you can tell.

00:48:02.000 It's a number of pixels.

00:48:03.000 Enhance?

00:48:03.000 What are you going to do?

00:48:04.000 This isn't CSI.

00:48:06.000 All right, next letter.

00:48:07.000 Frank.

00:48:09.000 Clinton didn't kill anyone.

00:48:11.000 Interesting.

00:48:14.000 You can tell when I've had a shower and when I haven't.

00:48:15.000 It's little tufts that...

00:48:18.000 I think I might start sleeping in a hairnet.

00:48:19.000 Thank you.

00:48:21.000 Why not?

00:48:22.000 Because we don't sleep together.

00:48:24.000 Why would you care?

00:48:25.000 It bothers me.

00:48:26.000 You're not a lunch lady.

00:48:28.000 I won't tell you.

00:48:29.000 There was an episode where you went over all the people Hillary didn't kill, and I've been trying to find it with no luck.

00:48:36.000 Oh.

00:48:37.000 Using both your search function and scrolling through the past episodes reading description, I would like to find that episode.

00:48:42.000 Also, I have a theory that trans activist humor phobes have chosen they, them pronouns to confuse group with the individual as a collectivist attack on individuality.

00:48:53.000 Any thoughts?

00:48:55.000 I don't know.

00:48:56.000 If you want to see my thoughts on the Hillary death toll, please check out my article on Tacky Mag.

00:49:04.000 I can't help you find the video, but the video was just me rehashing this article, which is called A Hot Month for Clinton's Body Count.

00:49:14.000 And I started researching that article very cynically, but holy shit, when you start looking at these, it gets real freaky, real fast.

00:49:29.000 All right, last letter.

00:49:30.000 The God bit is awesome.

00:49:32.000 It's awesome.

00:49:33.000 Keep doing it.

00:49:34.000 That's all I have to say.

00:49:35.000 Signed a guy whose name is Harm.

00:49:39.000 Harm Van Essen.

00:49:41.000 I think that's pretty clear that that is a man who wants to hurt me.

00:49:45.000 Harm yourself.

00:49:46.000 And by continuing to do that horrible God joke, which I'm truly embarrassed of, he's trying to wreck the show.

00:49:56.000 Doing an imitation.

00:49:57.000 And then I find out Stephen Colbert does the exact same thing, but better, and has God in the top of his studio.

00:50:05.000 That's even more embarrassing, that it's a bit I stole.

00:50:10.000 What are you looking up?

00:50:11.000 Some guy wrote an email say, hey, Ryan, Gavin, seems like the news of the entire continent of Australia would be on fire.

00:50:16.000 It's exaggerated, blah, blah, blah.

00:50:17.000 His Avi Yamini's video he's linking us to.

00:50:20.000 To check it out.

00:50:21.000 Yeah, we know the whole continent isn't on fire.

00:50:23.000 We just answered that.

00:50:24.000 Why are you going back over it?

00:50:25.000 Why are you reading the mail ahead and then pulling up videos?

00:50:28.000 Avi's take.

00:50:29.000 It's like you're either way behind or way ahead.

00:50:32.000 Why don't you get on the same page as the host?

00:50:35.000 We're just looking.

00:50:36.000 All right, we're running out of time.

00:50:38.000 I want to take some calls.

00:50:41.000 Again, go to Johnny Apple.

00:50:44.000 Oh, don't forget Covefe.

00:50:46.000 Yeah, you should drink that coffee.

00:50:49.000 It's the official sponsor of Get Off My Lawn.

00:50:56.000 We drink it every single day.

00:50:58.000 That's right.

00:50:59.000 We are big fans.

00:51:00.000 I like it better than my Nespresso at home, to be quite frank.

00:51:04.000 I don't like it better than my various cowlicks.

00:51:07.000 I mean, look at him.

00:51:08.000 He's pimping.

00:51:11.000 Please go to johnnyapplecbd.com.

00:51:15.000 That's jacbd.com.

00:51:17.000 Use promo code GAVIN.

00:51:19.000 You get 20% off and free shipping.

00:51:23.000 You will not get high.

00:51:24.000 You're just going to feel as great as I do every day.

00:51:25.000 Check it out.

00:51:26.000 The tincture, delicious.

00:51:27.000 The topical ointment smells tremendous, feels amazing.

00:51:30.000 The gummies taste so great and they help me sleep.

00:51:32.000 I cannot say enough about what a badass company Johnny Apple's CBD is and how much these supplements have helped me with my sleep and my workouts.

00:51:40.000 jacbd.com thank you for sponsoring the show um but before we go i want to show you let's show 2-7 um this man has decided he doesn't want a pigeon to die uh he's pissed he's a Doctor.

00:52:01.000 He's a self-taught veterinarian.

00:52:04.000 Make it as big as you can.

00:52:05.000 No, no, no, you're...

00:52:07.000 Jesus, you're really fucking this up.

00:52:07.000 Get ready!

00:52:09.000 Wake up!

00:52:11.000 Wake up, you bastard!

00:52:13.000 Wake up, you bastard, he said.

00:52:15.000 There you go.

00:52:17.000 And fly!

00:52:24.000 How does he have a suit on?

00:52:26.000 Come on.

00:52:28.000 You can do it.

00:52:29.000 God, they kind of tick some insects.

00:52:33.000 There you go.

00:52:34.000 And fly.

00:52:39.000 Animals aren't cartoons, sir.

00:52:41.000 What are you dead?

00:52:45.000 I need you to fly.

00:52:48.000 Like, that guy walks up with his kid.

00:52:50.000 Just take your kid and get out of there.

00:52:51.000 Your kid doesn't need to see a fucking lunatic whipping a dying bird into the sky.

00:52:57.000 Did you hear someone goes, don't do that?

00:53:02.000 And then he gives up and walks away.

00:53:04.000 Oh, he's doing a little dance.

00:53:06.000 Oh, I think I know what's going on.

00:53:08.000 He's drunk.

00:53:10.000 Maybe.

00:53:11.000 Yeah.

00:53:11.000 I think right now he's dancing to let people know he's not crazy.

00:53:15.000 No, see, you're wrong with everything, hence the name Detective Shitty.

00:53:18.000 Like, I'm not crazy.

00:53:19.000 He's super drunk, and he doesn't even remember doing that.

00:53:24.000 Thanks to Kevfefe.

00:53:25.000 Thanks to Johnny Apple.

00:53:26.000 Thanks to Johnny Apple CBD.

00:53:27.000 Thanks to Bet DSI.

00:53:29.000 And thanks to you for following this motto.

00:53:34.000 Get fired.

00:53:35.000 Get in trouble.

00:53:36.000 Be brave.

00:53:37.000 And never stop fighting.

00:53:39.000 We're going behind the paywall now, and we're taking calls.

00:53:55.000 And we're back.

00:53:58.000 Do you have access to Telegram?

00:54:01.000 Yes.

00:54:02.000 You should.

00:54:03.000 You know what?

00:54:03.000 You should, as a person.

00:54:06.000 Yes.

00:54:06.000 With your job, you should be subscribed to Washington Post, New York Times.

00:54:11.000 Oh, wrong glasses.

00:54:12.000 They got Telegram?

00:54:15.000 Or are you just saying that separately?

00:54:16.000 I'm saying things.

00:54:17.000 Oh, okay.

00:54:18.000 Washington Post, New York Times.

00:54:21.000 Telegram, all that stuff.

00:54:23.000 It should all work.

00:54:25.000 Amazon, Prime, Hulu.

00:54:27.000 Oh, Telegram we couldn't get on the actual desktop.

00:54:30.000 That's what I remember.

00:54:31.000 Yes, you can.

00:54:32.000 I have it on my desktop.

00:54:33.000 Say what?

00:54:34.000 Anyway, there is a, I don't know what you call it on Telegram, a thread, called Horrendous Trannies.

00:54:43.000 And it's all trannies complaining about their operation, about their dilation.

00:54:49.000 You know what dilation is?

00:54:50.000 Very difficult dilation.

00:54:52.000 Very difficult dilation.

00:54:54.000 That's when you stick a dildo into the hole they just made.

00:54:58.000 Holy cannoli.

00:54:59.000 And prevent it from healing.

00:55:01.000 Because the body sees you make this hole and they go, uh, I'm trying to fix it.

00:55:07.000 Apparently you were stabbed.

00:55:08.000 And it keeps working to help things.

00:55:11.000 Shouldn't you put the phone number up on the...

00:55:15.000 screen.

00:55:22.000 So horrendous.

00:55:23.000 So you have to put in a dildo and just hold it there so that it doesn't heal, just like gauge earrings or whatever.

00:55:29.000 Anyway, Horrendous Trannies has all these people bitching, and then it also has all of these seemingly happy lesbians who have cut their tits off and made these schlongs.

00:55:43.000 And the schlongs they make, I obviously couldn't show it on the free part of the show, but they look like burritos.

00:55:51.000 And what they do is they carve up your arm, your entire forearm.

00:55:56.000 I don't know if it ever heals, but they take off a complete layer of skin from your forearm.

00:56:04.000 It's like sociopathic sculptors, really.

00:56:08.000 And they make you a penis.

00:56:13.000 Now, shall I show you?

00:56:16.000 Well, I'm getting Telegram right now.

00:56:18.000 This is kind of a weird thing with this show where I mean, I wonder what the boundaries are.

00:56:24.000 We don't really have any rules.

00:56:25.000 We can play the Rolling Stones, whatever we want.

00:56:28.000 But there's some things where I think, will people be mad if we show them some of this stuff?

00:56:36.000 What if we play Rolling Stones with the horrendous trendy parts?

00:56:40.000 Like, I showed my brother last night, and he didn't seem happy.

00:56:46.000 Like, he sent me back a picture of a man-made penis, and he just went, I'm out.

00:56:52.000 Which means, why'd you show me this?

00:56:56.000 But I mean, I'm totally confused by, obviously I'm confused by all things gay.

00:57:04.000 I'm much more confused by all things trans.

00:57:07.000 But what I'm really baffled by is this idea of slicing your arm up to make a penis that you can't use.

00:57:18.000 Now, if I was a woman, sometimes they're lesbians, but I mean, gay.

00:57:27.000 Gay.

00:57:28.000 And you think, just use a strap-on.

00:57:32.000 Like, you didn't buy a penis.

00:57:35.000 Oh, my God.

00:57:35.000 There's so much since last night when I downloaded.

00:57:38.000 But I got to read you some of this stuff.

00:57:44.000 Okay, how about this one?

00:57:44.000 Here's a typical post.

00:57:46.000 Ready?

00:57:49.000 Going through puberty at age 60 is mind-numbing, to put it mildly.

00:57:54.000 Believe it or not, I'm currently in that slutty teen phase of my transition.

00:57:58.000 Short skirts, heels, tight tops, and red hair.

00:58:01.000 And be prepared to have your emotional state feel more like a hurricane at times than not.

00:58:06.000 Due to my age, I had my expectations set extremely low, but for whatever reason, I seem to have hit some kind of genetic jackpot.

00:58:14.000 The emotional and physical feminization that I am experiencing is beyond phenomenal.

00:58:18.000 I've been on HRT hormone replacement therapy for 17 months, and I'm approaching a B cup.

00:58:26.000 And I have an hourglass shape forming.

00:58:28.000 This is your dad.

00:58:30.000 460 for some of you youngsters.

00:58:33.000 This is your grandpa.

00:58:35.000 My hairline is filling in.

00:58:37.000 I have very little body hair.

00:58:38.000 I have lost a significant amount of muscle mass as well, as about half of my strength.

00:58:43.000 I thought women were just as strong as men.

00:58:45.000 Why do you have half your strength?

00:58:47.000 Remember, what was her name?

00:58:48.000 Blair?

00:58:49.000 Blair White.

00:58:50.000 Blair White.

00:58:52.000 She said that when she started taking hormones, her doctor warned her that she would become weaker and more emotional and stop liking.

00:59:03.000 No, I don't think the doctor warned her about this.

00:59:05.000 She noticed after that she always loved big dogs her whole life, and then she was grossed out by them after taking the pills, and she liked little dogs.

00:59:15.000 I've also lost height and shoe sizes.

00:59:18.000 How do you lose shoe sizes?

00:59:21.000 Oh, and my sexual changes have been the most profound, and probably the most important is that I am now healthier both emotionally and physically than I've ever been.

00:59:30.000 You know what?

00:59:31.000 I believe you.

00:59:32.000 I also believe that that's not going to last.

00:59:34.000 All right, shall I show you this picture?

00:59:37.000 No.

00:59:38.000 Warning.

00:59:40.000 Warning.

00:59:41.000 okay So here is his arm.

00:59:49.000 So here is his arm, he says.

00:59:51.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:59:53.000 That's the arm.

00:59:58.000 Okay.

00:59:59.000 Okay.

01:00:00.000 And then.

01:00:01.000 And then.

01:00:04.000 Sorry, he says, ATA, I forgot to mention.

01:00:07.000 This is a different guy than I was talking about before.

01:00:11.000 ETA, I forgot to mention that I now pretty consistently experience a discharge from my penis after masturbating post-orgasm.

01:00:19.000 What?

01:00:21.000 How do you masturbate that thing?

01:00:23.000 If I'm quick or mid-masturbation, if I go for longer, it's basically the same consistency of the discharge I'd have pre-op, but now it's kind of cool because it's like pre-cum or cum, depending on when that happens.

01:00:34.000 It's usually a fairly good amount, too.

01:00:35.000 If that's not enough for me, I've found that squirting a little Bad Dragon Cum Lube into the tip via a needle-less syringe that comes with...

01:00:45.000 Jesus.

01:00:51.000 He's squeezing lube into his cheese blints in order to simulate ejaculate.

01:01:00.000 He.

01:01:02.000 It's really affirming to squeeze out at the end.

01:01:05.000 But I don't always do this, just when I feel like it.

01:01:07.000 And let's look at who we're talking about here.

01:01:09.000 Are you ready for this?

01:01:14.000 Okay.

01:01:15.000 that's a female.

01:01:25.000 Wow.

01:01:26.000 See where the tits have been removed.

01:01:28.000 See where the tits have been removed?

01:01:29.000 And then this is what it makes.

01:01:31.000 And then this is what it makes.

01:01:36.000 You can see where his arm and thigh have been ravaged.

01:01:40.000 In order to make that.

01:01:41.000 In order to make that.

01:01:41.000 This...

01:01:45.000 He's...

01:01:46.000 Thank you.

01:01:47.000 That's terrible.

01:01:48.000 How did we get here?

01:01:50.000 I don't know where we are.

01:01:51.000 Where are we?

01:01:53.000 We're in the future.

01:01:55.000 We're like post-apocalyptic.

01:01:59.000 We're in Mad Max.

01:02:02.000 And the surgeons who did that, I mean, do they sleep like babies at night?

01:02:09.000 That should be immediately unethical.

01:02:12.000 They're sociopathic sculptors.

01:02:14.000 That's what I call them.

01:02:16.000 I don't know if, like, if I was at a dinner party or something, or my wife said, hey, you got to meet my new friends.

01:02:20.000 Oh, hi.

01:02:21.000 How you doing?

01:02:21.000 Oh, we're surgeons.

01:02:22.000 Oh, wow.

01:02:22.000 He's saving lives.

01:02:23.000 I assume you do a lot of cancer stuff, removing tumors.

01:02:26.000 No, we do sex changes.

01:02:30.000 Female to male?

01:02:31.000 Mostly female to male, yes.

01:02:34.000 We cut off people's forearms and their thighs, and we make weird sort of burritos that they drip out of.

01:02:43.000 Oh, oh, oh, that's so nice.

01:02:47.000 That's not a good way to show a video drop, dude.

01:02:50.000 We see all your garbage, stupid desktop.

01:02:52.000 It's supposed to be bigger like this.

01:02:54.000 It doesn't do anything.

01:02:55.000 Yeah, but it wasn't.

01:02:56.000 I gotta fix it.

01:02:58.000 Okay, anyway, should we take some calls?

01:03:00.000 Are we ready?

01:03:00.000 We got a bunch.

01:03:02.000 You know, at the bar the other day, I had Jeopardy on during happy hour.

01:03:07.000 I know nothing.

01:03:09.000 I like Jeopardy, but I know nothing also.

01:03:11.000 I know nothing.

01:03:12.000 We should play Jeopardy one day.

01:03:14.000 Now getting Telegram.

01:03:17.000 Cybersecurity.

01:03:19.000 Don't be scared of this rare gem.

01:03:23.000 And of course, it is Pyrite.

01:03:25.000 What is Pyrite?

01:03:27.000 I don't know what Pyrite is.

01:03:29.000 I don't know anything.

01:03:30.000 I love Jeopardy.

01:03:31.000 It's on Netflix.

01:03:32.000 Holy shit.

01:03:35.000 We got Michael talking about the LA Westlake fire.

01:03:43.000 Michael, can you handle my monkey?

01:03:46.000 What's going on?

01:03:47.000 Hey, man, how you doing?

01:03:49.000 How you doing?

01:03:50.000 You should definitely sleep with that hair near home.

01:03:53.000 Yeah?

01:03:55.000 I was thinking because my night shirt is just a large flannel with a top button done up.

01:04:01.000 And I like to wear.

01:04:02.000 That'll work.

01:04:03.000 That'll work.

01:04:04.000 Khaki shorts and tube socks with slippers.

01:04:10.000 Change them to some Chuck Taylors and we're good.

01:04:16.000 I hear that that accent that we all see as a Mexican accent is actually the northern Mexican accent.

01:04:24.000 I don't know, same shit.

01:04:26.000 But anyways, all right, I was working out here maybe in 2017 in LA and I was trying to get away from the inner city.

01:04:35.000 In LA, I got a job on the outskirts.

01:04:37.000 And I was carpooling with a dude that he was like maybe in his 40s, early 40s.

01:04:43.000 And X gang member, lasered off tattoos, kind of.

01:04:48.000 And I started thinking, like, well, these dudes aren't that bad.

01:04:52.000 And he was a great guy.

01:04:53.000 I was working with him and then carpooling, having lunch with him.

01:04:58.000 He didn't show up to work one day, right?

01:05:00.000 nobody was talking about it.

01:05:01.000 And I asked around, and finally, the manager had told me that, like, oh, they picked him up for something.

01:05:07.000 And if you look up 1993 West Lake fires in LA, I guess when they were younger, in 93 or something, they started a fight.

01:05:18.000 They were extorting the apartment complex manager to let them sell drugs out of the building.

01:05:25.000 And they didn't want to let them anymore.

01:05:28.000 So they locked in the doors, you know, and they burnt up the apartment building.

01:05:34.000 And I think they killed like seven kids or something.

01:05:39.000 They killed 10 people, but like seven women, they were pregnant.

01:05:42.000 All this crazy shit.

01:05:43.000 They felt used a break.

01:05:45.000 For 20 years, nothing ever happened to this guy.

01:05:47.000 Why the police headquarters?

01:05:48.000 Everyone was too scared to come forward for 20 years.

01:05:51.000 So yeah, I had lunch with this guy.

01:05:54.000 Yeah, that's the funny thing.

01:05:55.000 When you watch these crime shows and you see stuff about the mob and everything, you go, they seem okay.

01:06:00.000 And then you realize it's because I'm not intimately involved with what they do and they're actually murderers.

01:06:08.000 True.

01:06:09.000 Yeah.

01:06:10.000 All right.

01:06:10.000 Well, good story.

01:06:11.000 No, that's all.

01:06:11.000 Sorry, take up your time.

01:06:12.000 Thanks, man.

01:06:13.000 Thanks, buddy.

01:06:16.000 Although, I guess he knew one of them.

01:06:20.000 So they were hanging out, man.

01:06:22.000 See, that's the problem with these cartels in Mexico that we're going to go take care of.

01:06:27.000 Like, how about that Mormon family, the dad who goes, fuck that?

01:06:31.000 I'm going to take care of business.

01:06:31.000 I'm going down.

01:06:33.000 You killed my family.

01:06:34.000 I'm going to kill you.

01:06:35.000 Dude, you might as well go against Afghanistan.

01:06:38.000 This is generations and generations and generations of murderers.

01:06:42.000 They use kids as scouts.

01:06:44.000 They own the police.

01:06:45.000 They own everything.

01:06:47.000 I think the American military could take them out, but I'm not positive.

01:06:52.000 It could become another Vietnam.

01:06:54.000 Like, they run everything.

01:06:58.000 You'd have to just sort of blow up the entire jungle to take out the cartels.

01:07:04.000 And I think it's because culturally, over time, they've developed a total lack of fear of death.

01:07:10.000 So this guy won't let me sell pot in my apartment building.

01:07:13.000 I'll just burn it down and kill a bunch of people.

01:07:15.000 I don't give a shit.

01:07:17.000 They're kind of like Mexican criminals are kind of like jihadists in that they don't seem to give a shit about human life.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, and the reason you think they're all, they are nice.

01:07:27.000 They are nice and cool.

01:07:28.000 You're like, there's no way they've seen murder and death.

01:07:30.000 It's like, no, they're just so comfortable with it that they could act normal and do all that shit.

01:07:34.000 And Coulter's got a great column out right now about Iran.

01:07:38.000 And she goes, how many Americans have Iranians killed?

01:07:43.000 Because I think with Mexicans, we're up to about 30,000 a year.

01:07:48.000 Because she's talking about all the drugs and the fentanyl and the heroin and the opioids and the gang violence and all that stuff.

01:07:55.000 She goes, that's a higher priority of mine than fucking Iranians.

01:07:58.000 Can we get out of there, please?

01:08:00.000 It's okay, Anne.

01:08:01.000 It was just a show.

01:08:01.000 We are out of there.

01:08:03.000 Just a show.

01:08:06.000 Right, we got Carissa.

01:08:10.000 Hi, Carissa.

01:08:13.000 Hi.

01:08:15.000 How are you doing?

01:08:16.000 How are you?

01:08:16.000 Good.

01:08:18.000 I'm doing all right, except for a little shaky after that horror show you took me to a few minutes ago.

01:08:24.000 Should I not have done that?

01:08:26.000 Awful.

01:08:28.000 No, I mean, I've tried to avoid those pictures overall, but it's what's happening.

01:08:34.000 It's pretty terrifying.

01:08:35.000 I mean, I'm of two minds about it.

01:08:37.000 I don't want you to see that burrito dick, but shouldn't people know that they're not getting normal penises?

01:08:45.000 No.

01:08:49.000 Yeah, maybe just warn the kids kind of thing.

01:08:51.000 But I mean, with your show, I'm not going to have kids watching anyway kind of thing.

01:08:51.000 I don't know.

01:08:56.000 How much would you have to be paid to put one of those cheese blinces in your mouth?

01:09:02.000 Oh, my gosh.

01:09:04.000 There is no money.

01:09:05.000 There's not enough money in the world.

01:09:06.000 Well, women always say that.

01:09:09.000 Women often say that, and I get it.

01:09:11.000 But the problem with whatever price you come up with, even as a man, like say it's a billion, and you're in your beautiful mansion with your private jet, and people are like, Jesus Christ, you must be really good at finance.

01:09:23.000 And you're like, actually, I sucked off a giant burrito dick as a dare.

01:09:28.000 That's why we're in this giant mausoleum.

01:09:32.000 Anyway, what's your question, comment, query, quandary?

01:09:36.000 Well, okay, so here's my struggle.

01:09:38.000 I don't, I want to be married, but I don't want to be the man in a relationship.

01:09:42.000 And I'm not talking about what that woman was doing with the burrito dick.

01:09:46.000 I'm talking about I live in the country.

01:09:48.000 I chop wood in the winter.

01:09:51.000 I like survivalist skills.

01:09:54.000 I hike, which I know Ryan, you think that makes me a lesbian, but that's not true.

01:10:01.000 And I'm struggling with, you know, I'm a Christian, but even guys at church, a lot of them are just soft and nice.

01:10:09.000 And I mean, I want a man that's good, but I don't want a man that's nice.

01:10:14.000 And I don't mean like I want a bad boy.

01:10:16.000 I mean, I don't want someone that's soft and just isn't able to take on the reality of the world that we're living in.

01:10:24.000 Easy.

01:10:27.000 You want to know the solution?

01:10:28.000 All right, I'm ready.

01:10:29.000 I do.

01:10:30.000 You need to get a stupid part-time job either in a diner or once a week or a bar once a week.

01:10:40.000 Whoa, I just want super blurry there.

01:10:42.000 I'm still going blurry.

01:10:43.000 Oh, now I'm back.

01:10:44.000 Because the beauty of those job service industry jobs is you're coming across like 900 men a year.

01:10:50.000 And you're sifting through all these dudes.

01:10:59.000 You're sifting through all these dudes, and eventually you're going to meet some blue-collar guy, some welder trucker dude, hunter guy, some MAGA guy who appreciates you and has balls enough to court you when you're off your shift.

01:11:14.000 And that's how you're going to find a right.

01:11:16.000 I used to say go to church to meet a man, but I see what you're saying.

01:11:20.000 It can be either taken or super pussies or closeted homos.

01:11:25.000 So get a silly job at a diner or a bar once a week, and you will find your alpha male.

01:11:37.000 That's pretty good advice.

01:11:38.000 I hadn't heard that one before.

01:11:39.000 I was thinking Proud Boy's dating directory, but I know the danger involved in that, all the crazies you're going to get.

01:11:45.000 So, yeah, once a week diner spot.

01:11:47.000 That sounds like a good one.

01:11:49.000 One of the wealthiest guys I know, he just fell in love with the bartender and put a ring on it.

01:11:56.000 When I met my wife, she was a bartender at Bait and Tackle in Manhattan.

01:12:01.000 Wow.

01:12:01.000 It's a great way to just...

01:12:06.000 There's just like 900 guys at the bar.

01:12:07.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:12:11.000 There we go.

01:12:12.000 It's all about quantity.

01:12:14.000 Just get enough guys that I'm seeing, that kind of thing.

01:12:17.000 And that'll be perfect.

01:12:18.000 If I can meet a real rich guy at a diner at a bar, I run a nonprofit.

01:12:23.000 We're working on building a retreat center for first responders, cops and firefighters and stuff.

01:12:27.000 So that'll be perfect.

01:12:28.000 I just need to find a really rich guy in a diner, marry him, and then I'll be set.

01:12:33.000 No, not rich.

01:12:34.000 Fuck you.

01:12:34.000 You solve my problem, Gavin.

01:12:35.000 A trade.

01:12:36.000 You're looking for a trade.

01:12:36.000 A trade.

01:12:38.000 Trade, guys.

01:12:39.000 Fair enough.

01:12:39.000 Yeah.

01:12:40.000 All right.

01:12:41.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:12:42.000 That's true.

01:12:44.000 More than a friend, Gavin.

01:12:44.000 All right.

01:12:44.000 I like you too.

01:12:45.000 Thanks so much.

01:12:46.000 Bye-bye.

01:12:48.000 Robert.

01:12:51.000 What's up, Robbie?

01:12:52.000 Hey, guys.

01:12:53.000 Hey, what's happening?

01:12:55.000 All right.

01:12:56.000 So you guys are both fucking retarded.

01:12:58.000 The age of consent in America isn't a federal law.

01:13:01.000 It goes by state.

01:13:02.000 So I'm in Wisconsin here, and the age of consent here is 18.

01:13:05.000 So I just wanted to make that clear.

01:13:08.000 You guys rock.

01:13:09.000 So my actual comment here is, I wanted to thank you, Gavin, for introducing me to Dinesh D'Souza.

01:13:16.000 I read through his whole book, his most recent book, Death of a Nation, and it's fucking fantastic.

01:13:23.000 Death of a Nation?

01:13:24.000 Is that what it's called?

01:13:27.000 Yeah, Death of a Nation.

01:13:28.000 It was kind of a play on a book that came out in like the 1800s or something called Birth of a Nation.

01:13:35.000 That was sort of like a white supremacy book made by Democrats of the South?

01:13:42.000 Oh, yeah, movie.

01:13:44.000 Maybe it was a book that turned into a movie, something like that.

01:13:46.000 But yeah, Death of a Nation is his kind of homage to that to make fun of how stupid it was.

01:13:51.000 But yeah, this book was fucking fantastic.

01:13:53.000 I learned so much history and stuff about the founding fathers that I ever knew.

01:13:57.000 Like, you hear so many liberal arguments that America was founded on slavery.

01:14:01.000 It's all bullshit.

01:14:01.000 It's all false.

01:14:02.000 And I've started to realize that everything the Democrats do is sort of in an effort to preserve the modern-day plantation.

01:14:10.000 So I wanted to thank you guys for introducing me to him.

01:14:13.000 Okay, well, you're welcome, sir, and thank you for calling.

01:14:15.000 You know, when...

01:14:18.000 Did you hang up?

01:14:19.000 Yep.

01:14:22.000 Well, you only get one point.

01:14:23.000 That guy was three.

01:14:25.000 I'm sick of this.

01:14:26.000 First, I want to say you and Gavin are retarded.

01:14:28.000 Then I want to talk about a book.

01:14:29.000 Now I want to ask you if you'd rather be buried alive or drowned.

01:14:33.000 These are the ages of content.

01:14:35.000 And what are they?

01:14:36.000 17, 18, 17, 18, 17, 18?

01:14:38.000 Yeah, 16 in a lot of the states.

01:14:42.000 16?

01:14:43.000 Yeah.

01:14:44.000 I think that's what Jeffrey Epstein was doing.

01:14:46.000 He was doing 16.

01:14:47.000 That's really young.

01:14:48.000 16 is young.

01:14:49.000 Yeah, it's not my interest.

01:14:51.000 I fucked 13 year olds when I was 16.

01:14:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:55.000 And it was not fun.

01:14:56.000 It was a lot of "ow, ow, get you, ow!" Oh, your arm is out.

01:15:03.000 Your arm is out.

01:15:05.000 Sorry.

01:15:06.000 Oh, get it.

01:15:08.000 You get up here.

01:15:10.000 hate when they drop your microphone then you have like a 40 year old divorced Puerto Rican and she's like no Is that your story?

01:15:19.000 No, that's Mark Ryan.

01:15:22.000 He found a condom in your lady's posterior.

01:15:22.000 Okay, gotcha.

01:15:25.000 That's bugged out, right?

01:15:27.000 He goes, I just found a condom in your pussy.

01:15:28.000 And she goes, I know, that's bugged out, right?

01:15:31.000 You know, she was chewing gum.

01:15:32.000 That story is so real.

01:15:34.000 I don't know why Puerto Ricans say bugged out.

01:15:36.000 Remember the origin of that story?

01:15:38.000 The origin of that story is Mark Ryan and his buddy Trevor go, wait a minute.

01:15:42.000 We've lived in New York for decades.

01:15:44.000 No one's ever fucked a Puerto Rican.

01:15:46.000 It's like a different world.

01:15:48.000 We're white guys in the hardcore scene, CBGBs and all that.

01:15:52.000 They're like Puerto Ricans in their whatever rap scene.

01:15:55.000 Like Romania.

01:15:56.000 Why don't you try to fuck them?

01:15:58.000 And so they would just go up to Puerto Ricans on the train and be like, hey, what's up?

01:16:01.000 I'm Mark Ryan.

01:16:02.000 And it worked.

01:16:03.000 Not difficult.

01:16:06.000 Spanish chicks are goers.

01:16:09.000 Dominic Johnny Dominicans.

01:16:12.000 Hey, dude.

01:16:13.000 Yo, what's going on, man?

01:16:15.000 Ryan thinks your name is pronounced Dominic.

01:16:18.000 Dominic.

01:16:19.000 No, you said Dominic.

01:16:21.000 Johnny.

01:16:22.000 Oh, it's Johnny.

01:16:23.000 I was talking about Dominicans.

01:16:25.000 What's up, dude?

01:16:26.000 Yeah, man.

01:16:27.000 I just wanted to say that I work with a lot of Dominicans, and I've noticed a lot of the dudes are like low-key MAGA.

01:16:35.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 With like their immigration.

01:16:38.000 Like, my boy was telling me, because we're talking about it, specifically, like, immigration.

01:16:44.000 And he was saying, because in the Dominican, they have the Haitians.

01:16:49.000 And the Haitians are like, they're Mexicans.

01:16:51.000 So, like, they don't like the Haitians that come in.

01:16:55.000 And he thinks that, like, it's goofy when we talk about how much, you know, like the Mexicans and stuff.

01:17:01.000 So he's always like, no, man, we don't like immigrants either, bro.

01:17:05.000 Yeah, I noticed that when I'm on vacation in the Caribbean, I turn on public access.

01:17:10.000 And it's all these Jamaicans talking about how much they don't appreciate Dominicans.

01:17:14.000 And then Dominicans talking about how they don't appreciate Haitians.

01:17:17.000 And all these different countries saying, like Bermuda saying, I don't want these guys from wherever coming in.

01:17:25.000 Everyone is against immigration, but in America, we've been brainwashing and thinking it's racist.

01:17:30.000 It's not racist.

01:17:31.000 It's classist, if anything.

01:17:35.000 DDP.

01:17:36.000 You know the other thing about Dominican.

01:17:38.000 The other thing about Dominicans is Puerto Ricans, all they need is their aunt to buy a plane ticket, and they're here because it's America.

01:17:45.000 But Dominicans have to struggle to get here.

01:17:48.000 So when they finally get here, they're not into other people cheating.

01:17:56.000 Yeah, we have, where I'm from, we have a big city that's all Dominicans.

01:18:01.000 And like, so I work with a lot of them.

01:18:02.000 And like the hardworking ones, man, they're very conservative.

01:18:07.000 And like, you know, he was saying he wanted, we were talking about the wall, and he was like, Yeah, I don't know, see why we don't just have the military pull up and start like shooting people.

01:18:18.000 And I was like, Bro, that's you know, like, that was even extreme for me, but I thought it was funny that, like, a Spanish dude was saying stuff like that.

01:18:28.000 DDP, Dominicans don't play.

01:18:31.000 Yeah, man, they don't play.

01:18:32.000 They don't play.

01:18:33.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:18:34.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:18:37.000 All right, man.

01:18:38.000 Big up.

01:18:39.000 God, you suck at hanging up.

01:18:40.000 Brad, you either let it go too long or you shut, you cut them off.

01:18:46.000 It delays for a second.

01:18:47.000 So I'll press drop, and it'll be like one drop.

01:18:50.000 It's like about two seconds.

01:18:52.000 I just click talk, and now it's working.

01:18:55.000 Brad.

01:18:56.000 Hi, Brad.

01:18:57.000 Hello?

01:18:58.000 Sorry about your name.

01:19:00.000 Good.

01:19:01.000 It's actually Brett with T's, but it happens.

01:19:01.000 Sorry.

01:19:04.000 That's better.

01:19:07.000 Yeah, we're working on it.

01:19:09.000 I actually just had a couple of videos.

01:19:11.000 Well, a video and a guy I thought you should check out since you like Jack Moss so much.

01:19:14.000 But the video is called Deadly Hoot on YouTube.

01:19:18.000 It's a real hoot itself.

01:19:19.000 And then the guy, he's an Ontario fella, and he sells apple juice.

01:19:25.000 And he's decided to invest all of his money into his own late night show, which is a joke.

01:19:31.000 And he produces these movies like The Sicilian Vampire.

01:19:34.000 It's just a garbage show of fucking shit.

01:19:37.000 Also, Trudeau's a fucking goof.

01:19:39.000 I just had to say that.

01:19:40.000 Wasn't the Sicilian vampire...

01:19:44.000 Wasn't that on?

01:19:45.000 Yeah, he was on Anthony Cumia.

01:19:48.000 Yeah, he spends all his money and he just hires all these people to come and hang out with him and then he directs them around and he's a real fucking fool of a guy.

01:19:56.000 Yeah, I saw him on Cumia once.

01:19:58.000 All right, well, thanks for calling.

01:20:00.000 We are going to go on a bender.

01:20:03.000 Is it Deadly Hoot?

01:20:04.000 Yeah, Deadly Hoot.

01:20:06.000 Deadly Hoot.

01:20:06.000 Deadly Hoot, yeah.

01:20:08.000 Okay.

01:20:08.000 So anyway, I said thanks for calling.

01:20:10.000 So that's where you fucking do your goddamn job.

01:20:16.000 Sicilian Vampire.

01:20:17.000 I remember this on Anthony's show a long time ago.

01:20:22.000 Spending tons of money on movies is such a fucking woodchipper way to spend money.

01:20:28.000 Like the movie I did of Death of Cool, the guys want 600 grand.

01:20:33.000 I sold Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants to Netflix for 15 grand.

01:20:37.000 How am I going to make the other $585,000?

01:20:43.000 Things can change in a millisecond.

01:20:49.000 What a concept.

01:20:51.000 That's him, right?

01:20:52.000 Yeah, he puts himself in the movies.

01:20:54.000 He's like the room guy.

01:20:56.000 Frank D'Angelo.

01:20:57.000 Frank D'Angelo.

01:20:59.000 It's so funny when you're in Canada and you hear Italians with that accent because you're like, you must have got this from a movie.

01:21:05.000 Mr. Trafficante, what can I do for you?

01:21:08.000 There's James Kahn.

01:21:10.000 Appreciate that you're meeting with me, but what I'm going to tell you, you're probably going to think I'm crazy.

01:21:16.000 You have to blank out the trailer?

01:21:17.000 Sony Trafficante dead.

01:21:18.000 He's costing us money.

01:21:23.000 He's got to be dead.

01:21:25.000 What should we do?

01:21:27.000 Oh, Eric Roberts.

01:21:29.000 I want to be by myself tonight.

01:21:31.000 You guys need to go?

01:21:32.000 What exactly is going on?

01:21:34.000 Sena wants people to leave.

01:21:35.000 Ramandar Sante.

01:21:35.000 People got to be.

01:21:38.000 How do Americans know all these fucking actors' names?

01:21:41.000 I don't know.

01:21:43.000 It's like Jeopardy all over again.

01:21:46.000 Michael.

01:21:47.000 Wait, which bald one is that?

01:21:49.000 I'm going to thanks for turning us on to that ancient news, dude.

01:21:49.000 Anything.

01:21:54.000 Well, Deadly Hoot, I guess, is his new one, but nothing poses.

01:21:57.000 They're not really current.

01:21:58.000 I know you're wondering what I'm drawing right now.

01:22:08.000 Oh, sick.

01:22:12.000 Yeah, nothing comes up for Deadly Hoot.

01:22:15.000 It's like a Hispanic quasimoto with victory above it.

01:22:19.000 So I'll call it Round Round.

01:22:22.000 This is not even a Deadly Hoot.

01:22:24.000 This is a small ass cookum boot.

01:22:27.000 Uh-huh.

01:22:29.000 Deadly hoots are too deadly, man.

01:22:32.000 Cookum boot.

01:22:34.000 That's how.

01:22:35.000 One of my people?

01:22:36.000 Is that a native Indian?

01:22:37.000 I don't know.

01:22:38.000 Yeah, those are kind of like...

01:22:50.000 Next caller?

01:22:52.000 Hey, Ethan.

01:22:55.000 Hello.

01:22:56.000 Hey.

01:22:58.000 What's going on?

01:22:59.000 Not much.

01:23:00.000 How's it going?

01:23:01.000 Maggie Longclaus is pregnant, you know.

01:23:06.000 Hey, so my wife and I, about a year ago, moved out.

01:23:12.000 We decided to move out like further out than the burbs, actually.

01:23:17.000 We have three kids, three daughters, and my oldest daughter is six.

01:23:22.000 And she told me the other day, hey, dad, did you know that if I want to be a boy, I can just like tell you the mom and you guys can like make me into a boy?

01:23:36.000 And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:23:40.000 So, you know, I kind of held back my blood from boiling and got down to the bottom of it.

01:23:48.000 And some kids in her class were telling her this stuff.

01:23:52.000 And I just, I mean, I obviously explained to her that that's not true, but I looked at my wife.

01:23:58.000 I said, holy fuck, we just made this huge move all the way out here.

01:24:02.000 And we still can't get away from this fucking bullshit.

01:24:05.000 And so she's in second grade?

01:24:08.000 She's in first grade.

01:24:10.000 And the problem with that is you go, all right, this is it.

01:24:13.000 This is my Hilda dying.

01:24:14.000 I'm going to go fucking ballistic.

01:24:16.000 So you go into the school, you scream your head off, you talk to the principal, it becomes a big thing.

01:24:23.000 You're banned from the school.

01:24:25.000 Your daughter's pulled out.

01:24:26.000 Like, it becomes your American Revolution, that one thing.

01:24:30.000 And now you're ostracized in the community.

01:24:33.000 So when you're confronted with a detail like that, you go, Is this it?

01:24:37.000 Like, is this the alarm?

01:24:40.000 Am I the fireman?

01:24:41.000 Do I go down the pole now?

01:24:42.000 Or do I shut my mouth and live to fight for another day?

01:24:46.000 It's a really tough call as a parent.

01:24:49.000 But I think you stop that!

01:24:54.000 The fuck's the matter with you?

01:24:56.000 That's three times this show you've been tooling around on Google and starting videos.

01:25:04.000 Well, I'm looking for a Deadly Hoot.

01:25:06.000 Yeah, Deadly Hoot's done, retard.

01:25:10.000 We're onto a new caller now.

01:25:12.000 Yeah.

01:25:13.000 And so it shares the same audio with the calls.

01:25:17.000 Yeah, so don't search videos, especially things we've already talked about.

01:25:22.000 Don't go to Frank D'Angelo's page.

01:25:27.000 Obviously!

01:25:30.000 So you broke your whole mic now?

01:25:32.000 Yeah, you made me break my mic.

01:25:34.000 I made you.

01:25:36.000 You did three.

01:25:37.000 I let two others go.

01:25:38.000 Well, that was your telegram you wanted me to download, and I had to take off the...

01:25:48.000 Anyway, yeah, I guess if it's other kids saying this to your daughter, you're not going to fucking go braveheart into the school screaming your head off with a giant sword to dissuade another couple of six-year-olds.

01:26:02.000 But this is the world we're living in.

01:26:07.000 The question is, when do you, like, when is it time to go to the school and cause a scene and become that guy in your neighborhood?

01:26:17.000 I would say when a teacher tells your daughter that she can be a boy, that's when it's time to cause a stink.

01:26:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:28.000 And I'm praying to God every night that I don't have to wind up getting into that situation because obviously I'm going to have to do what I have to do.

01:26:39.000 But yeah, you know, I just, I mean, you know, you hear about it out there all the time.

01:26:44.000 You see all the news stories about it.

01:26:46.000 I just didn't think this fucking young, there'd already be kids running around on the playground, you know, regurgitating this stuff.

01:26:53.000 It's just, it's just sickening.

01:26:56.000 When we moved to the Burbs, my kid was five, and I think he was in first grade or kindergarten, whatever.

01:27:03.000 And he told me, I hate Trump.

01:27:06.000 And I said, why?

01:27:06.000 And he goes, because he never listens.

01:27:09.000 I thought, hmm, I wonder where the fuck he got that from.

01:27:12.000 Or in church, they took the kids aside, and they told them that Martin Luther King was killed by a gun, and the nun, the sister, whatever, said, I wish I could take all the guns in the world and pile them up in a huge pile and have a huge bonfire.

01:27:30.000 Wow.

01:27:31.000 All right.

01:27:32.000 Thanks for that.

01:27:33.000 Yeah, man.

01:27:33.000 I just wanted to know that, dude.

01:27:36.000 I know, and I like you more than a friend.

01:27:38.000 Kayla.

01:27:40.000 Kayla.

01:27:45.000 Yeah.

01:27:47.000 Okay.

01:27:48.000 Hey, I just wanted to say I appreciate a Trump supporter out there that I can actually watch videos of.

01:27:56.000 I'm the only one that's not a nerd, really.

01:28:00.000 Even Tucker Carlson's banned from YouTube.

01:28:02.000 I mean, it's a sad state that we're in.

01:28:08.000 And I noticed you said you didn't have many female callers, so I just thought I'd let you know.

01:28:12.000 There are, you know, we're few and far.

01:28:14.000 Where are you?

01:28:15.000 Where do you live?

01:28:17.000 Minnesota.

01:28:19.000 What's the weather like there these days?

01:28:22.000 Fucking terrible.

01:28:25.000 Is it snowing at least?

01:28:28.000 No, no, it's not snowing.

01:28:29.000 It's just bitter cold.

01:28:32.000 I'm sure it'll be raining or snowing, you know, by the end of the week.

01:28:36.000 Yeah.

01:28:37.000 But yeah, just wanted to say I appreciate your videos and yeah, don't quit doing them because I look forward to them.

01:28:43.000 Okay, well, thanks for tuning in.

01:28:45.000 It's nice to hear from abroad once in a while.

01:28:47.000 Right.

01:28:49.000 Millennial wanted...

01:28:52.000 Again, Ryan shits the bed.

01:28:54.000 It takes two seconds, literally.

01:28:56.000 So then you gauge it out.

01:28:58.000 You know that I'm saying that, and you either let her say her piece or you cut it off right when I say, like, thanks.

01:29:04.000 Okay.

01:29:05.000 Clicking talk.

01:29:06.000 Like, it's not rocket science.

01:29:08.000 Sean.

01:29:09.000 Hey, Sean.

01:29:11.000 Sean.

01:29:13.000 What's up, dog?

01:29:15.000 Hello?

01:29:17.000 Hey, what's up?

01:29:18.000 Hey.

01:29:19.000 happy to actually talk to you guys.

01:29:21.000 Um, Gavin, huge man, and thanks for your work.

01:29:24.000 Um, Yeah, can we bring back Ryan's Asian shoe salesman character, please?

01:29:34.000 Yes, thank you for calling.

01:29:36.000 That's a great tip.

01:29:37.000 I can't hear you very well.

01:29:39.000 Yeah, it sounds like I can.

01:29:40.000 But Ryan, why don't you turn on your camera?

01:29:44.000 Does that work?

01:29:46.000 Yes.

01:29:46.000 And why don't you give us some of your Asian sneaker pimp?

01:29:51.000 Let me see.

01:29:51.000 What should I review today?

01:29:53.000 Why don't you pull off one of your own shoes?

01:29:55.000 Oh.

01:29:59.000 Okay, number one shoe right now.

01:30:01.000 Totally easy.

01:30:02.000 I mean, first of all, look at fabric.

01:30:05.000 Okay?

01:30:06.000 I know a lot of people sleep on this fabric here, but look at the small detail.

01:30:10.000 Okay, my cousin made this for 5 cents an hour.

01:30:14.000 Okay.

01:30:14.000 Very nice detail.

01:30:16.000 I feel like I need a hat or something hype.

01:30:19.000 Like, they never wear nerdy just shirts.

01:30:22.000 They're always super hype.

01:30:23.000 They always have Supreme.

01:30:25.000 Supreme everything.

01:30:26.000 Like, I have a zit.

01:30:27.000 They're always like doll-faced perfect Asians, and I'm a Jungle Asian, whatever I am.

01:30:32.000 Jungalasion.

01:30:33.000 I feel...

01:30:34.000 Jungalasion.

01:30:36.000 I'm going to call you Jungle Asian.

01:30:38.000 But I really, I want to use the green screen and start doing YouTuber stuff.

01:30:42.000 Yeah, you got some big plans.

01:30:44.000 Big plans.

01:30:45.000 I got big plans.

01:30:46.000 All right.

01:30:46.000 So Iran.

01:30:47.000 We gave you a little dose of that.

01:30:48.000 Thank you for calling.

01:30:50.000 Who do we got next?

01:30:51.000 This is Iran.

01:30:53.000 And Iran.

01:30:55.000 Iran so far away.

01:31:00.000 Could you get away?

01:31:01.000 Hello?

01:31:02.000 Hey.

01:31:04.000 Hey, God, calling from your homeland of Canada.

01:31:08.000 Oh, where in Canada, fuck?

01:31:11.000 Oh, fuck, but Kitchener, Waterloo, kind of near Hamilton, but oh, okay, over there closer to fucking T.O., eh?

01:31:21.000 Yes, sir, absolutely.

01:31:22.000 I saw there was a shooting down in Ottawa, downtown.

01:31:27.000 Oh, really?

01:31:28.000 I hadn't heard about it.

01:31:29.000 Oh, yeah, they had to shut down Bank Street and all that fuck.

01:31:32.000 But that's out of your league.

01:31:33.000 That's a few hours away.

01:31:35.000 So how's it going over there in Hamilton?

01:31:37.000 You fuckers got a 2-4 fucking Givener?

01:31:41.000 Oh, absolutely, bud.

01:31:42.000 You know, Thursday night, y'all too.

01:31:44.000 But just wanted to call and say me and my brother, big fans of Ryan.

01:31:50.000 I know he fucks up a lot, but funny content.

01:31:53.000 But anyway, when it comes to Iran, it's hilarious.

01:31:55.000 People seems like everyone, or half the people, liberals in America, they'd rather be living in Iran than America.

01:32:04.000 They think America is the bad guy, but we're just bullying poor Iran.

01:32:08.000 They've never done anything bad.

01:32:10.000 Yeah, they just want to win.

01:32:12.000 They're Bolsheviks.

01:32:14.000 So all they care about is power and winning.

01:32:16.000 And if that means America gets flushed down the toilet, fine.

01:32:20.000 Bill Maher said it himself.

01:32:21.000 He said, I wish the economy would tank so we could say Trump fucked up and failed.

01:32:27.000 They would rather everyone suffers so they could be right.

01:32:31.000 They're like ex-girlfriends.

01:32:33.000 They're crazy ex-girlfriends, fucking bitches.

01:32:36.000 You want to know a good trick with a 2-4?

01:32:41.000 So you say you get a 2-4 of Molson, right?

01:32:43.000 You drink it real carefully.

01:32:45.000 You're real careful with the caps.

01:32:47.000 And when you're done, you fucking fill it with water.

01:32:50.000 And then with any kind of an implement, like a leather man or a wrench, you just fucking tap the cap on again, or if you can, twist it, twist it.

01:32:59.000 I came up with this back before Twist Off, so I guess you could just twist it off again.

01:33:04.000 So you meticulously drink the 2-4, fill them back with water, and then you go to the beer store and you go, hey, I'll get a case of Molson Canadian.

01:33:16.000 They give you the case, right?

01:33:18.000 You go to the cart, you change it with the 2-4 you just made that's full of water, right?

01:33:23.000 And you bring that back up.

01:33:24.000 Did I say Molson Canadian?

01:33:25.000 I meant Labatz Blue, fuck.

01:33:27.000 And then they go, oh, okay, no big deal, sir.

01:33:30.000 And they take the water, Molson-Canadian, and then you get a new Labats Blue.

01:33:39.000 Great tip.

01:33:40.000 I'll try that out.

01:33:41.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

01:33:42.000 You can't ever go back to that beer store ever again, unfortunately.

01:33:46.000 We got a giveaway to give, too.

01:33:48.000 Next caller, do you want to give it to them?

01:33:51.000 It's CBD Box.

01:33:52.000 Johnny Apple CBD Box.

01:33:54.000 Okay.

01:33:55.000 It has to be in American, though.

01:33:57.000 Because customs get so weird.

01:34:00.000 Hey, Will.

01:34:02.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:34:04.000 Curious what your thoughts are, Gavin, on the Federal Reserve, more specifically about the economy and shit.

01:34:10.000 A lot of people are talking about the Fed and their actions with their balance sheet.

01:34:15.000 They're getting up to a $4 trillion balance sheet again, similar to what around the crisis in 2008.

01:34:22.000 Curious what your thoughts are.

01:34:24.000 Yeah, I lack the IQ to have really profound insight on the Federal Reserve.

01:34:29.000 All I know is our debt is fucking insane.

01:34:32.000 What are we at now?

01:34:33.000 $17 trillion, $20 trillion?

01:34:36.000 With no possible way of paying it off.

01:34:40.000 Going to the gold standard sounds good.

01:34:43.000 That seems reasonable.

01:34:46.000 But I'm afraid I don't understand it enough.

01:34:49.000 It's sort of like I was talking to Alex Jones today about vaccines, and I was like, I don't know.

01:34:55.000 I'm not smart enough.

01:34:56.000 Why does this keep going blurry?

01:34:58.000 I think you should center out more.

01:35:00.000 Because it'll only focus on what the center subject is.

01:35:06.000 I don't think that's true.

01:35:08.000 So sorry I can't help you there, bro.

01:35:11.000 But thank you for calling.

01:35:12.000 All right.

01:35:13.000 Next we got talking about Australia and them fires in California.

01:35:19.000 Okay.

01:35:22.000 Hey, Fireman.

01:35:24.000 What's up, Firebug?

01:35:25.000 Did you do these fucking fires in Australia?

01:35:28.000 Yeah, you firebug.

01:35:29.000 Yeah, that was me.

01:35:30.000 Actually, I wanted to tell you that the reason Australia and California and shit like that is always on fire is because they're the equivalent of shithole countries full of liberals.

01:35:38.000 But, you know, California is all the women are so feminist, just aggressively anti-male that men disproportionately import their wives from other places.

01:35:48.000 And California seems to be full of like an equal number of liberals.

01:35:52.000 So I think that that's God's reason, you know, he's just like, yeah, these places suck.

01:35:56.000 I'm going to light them on fire.

01:35:57.000 Well, I think you're right in the sense that he doesn't literally go, but when you have tons of liberals, there is a check and a balance.

01:36:07.000 There is a stopgap, and that is liberals say, don't have any brush fires.

01:36:12.000 Don't prevent forest fires.

01:36:13.000 And the next thing you know, you get forest fires.

01:36:15.000 God has plans like when a brother and a sister have a baby, they make a retard.

01:36:20.000 When you come up with dumb environmental plans, you get a massive forest fire.

01:36:24.000 He's trying to teach us through trial and error.

01:36:26.000 Is it like a fever?

01:36:27.000 Like your body heats up and fevers itself?

01:36:30.000 Yeah, I guess, sort of, yeah.

01:36:31.000 He's burning our stupidity.

01:36:33.000 I think it's just, you know, redemption.

01:36:36.000 But I wanted to go into detail on that because, you know, on the liberal media sources like Instagram and everything, it's all anybody wants to talk about.

01:36:44.000 But one of your last callers was talking about his daughter telling him, hey, dad, you know, a girl can be a boy now.

01:36:50.000 And that fucked me up so much.

01:36:51.000 I wanted to bring that up because I'm trying to deal with that shit myself.

01:36:55.000 My ex-wife is super LGBT and open about, you know, making sure that it's okay if you want to be a boy someday.

01:37:03.000 And being divorced, I have to play the role of dad.

01:37:05.000 Like, no, you're my fucking daughter.

01:37:08.000 Like, you're supposed to grow up to be a girl.

01:37:10.000 I'm sorry to tell you that.

01:37:11.000 And they're trying to tell me, oh, well, it's okay if boys wear makeup.

01:37:14.000 I'm like, no, especially not if his dad is a fucking veteran.

01:37:17.000 Don't put makeup on that little kid.

01:37:19.000 When his dad comes to pick him up, he's going to lose his fucking mind.

01:37:22.000 And, you know, my girlfriend and I, at some point, we want to have kids, and we're hoping that they're boys, praying that they're boys.

01:37:29.000 And I'm just struggling with how to raise a boy to be a fucking man in the, you know, the environment that we're in.

01:37:37.000 It seems like there's no way I'm going to be able to avoid everyone telling him, hey, if you feel like a girl, if you're feeling, you know, a little feminine, it's okay if you want to lop your dick off and have a fake vagina planted in there.

01:37:50.000 How do I escape?

01:37:52.000 There's no winning this battle, it seems like.

01:37:54.000 Well, the problem with you divorce people is you start rocking the boat and all of a sudden you're losing custody, like that guy in Texas who couldn't be around his kid because he refused to acknowledge that his son was his daughter.

01:38:07.000 You're on thin ice.

01:38:10.000 Yeah.

01:38:11.000 But it's also a toss-up between, you know, do I stay in their lives and make sure that they grow up to be decent people or do I just take hands off and let their mom raise them to be psychopaths?

01:38:20.000 You know?

01:38:20.000 No, to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, never stop fighting.

01:38:24.000 You have to keep fighting for your kids and telling them the truth.

01:38:27.000 And when you give a kid enough love, then they care what you have to say.

01:38:32.000 So when you're there as much as possible and being affectionate and making it clear you care for them, and then you say, actually, no, that's not true.

01:38:41.000 Here's another perspective.

01:38:43.000 and they're open-minded,'cause you've been around.

01:38:46.000 Yeah.

01:38:52.000 Like kids are like a store.

01:38:53.000 And when you put in money into your account, then you can have a stick of gum and stuff.

01:39:00.000 You get out what you put in.

01:39:02.000 And you'll notice when you're with a kid, if you spend like two hours with them just going for a walk or something, and then later you go, hey, don't do that.

01:39:10.000 They go, oh, not this.

01:39:11.000 Oh, okay.

01:39:12.000 Because there's a relationship there.

01:39:13.000 If you pop in out of nowhere and go, don't pick that up, they just go, fuck you.

01:39:17.000 So it's important that we're there every day that I can.

01:39:20.000 Maintain our relationships.

01:39:22.000 And then also, you know, you can still promote masculinity with the boy when they're not at school.

01:39:28.000 You say, what are you crying?

01:39:29.000 You're crying about that?

01:39:30.000 That makes you cry.

01:39:32.000 Like, I'll tease my boys if they're crying about something stupid right in their face.

01:39:41.000 Yeah, a buddy of mine has a son that's just, he goes, oh my God, it's so cute.

01:39:46.000 And he just lost his fucking mind.

01:39:48.000 He goes, okay, honey, you got the fucking daughter you've always wanted.

01:39:51.000 And he just put on his coat and fucking left and met me at the bar because he just couldn't handle that his son was turning into a fucking girl.

01:40:00.000 But I mean, I try to, you know, I try to do dad shit with my daughters too.

01:40:04.000 And hopefully that that shows them the role.

01:40:06.000 Like, you know, my little one wants to play football.

01:40:09.000 She wants to play football.

01:40:10.000 I'm like, I don't know if they'll let you do that in school, but I'll throw a pigskin in the yard with you.

01:40:14.000 Fuck it.

01:40:15.000 Right.

01:40:15.000 And the beauty of being a good dad with girls is you show them how they should be treated.

01:40:19.000 So when you're around there...

01:40:23.000 Right.

01:40:23.000 You're giving them respect and you're, you know, listening to what they have to say.

01:40:28.000 And then when they go on a date, they go, this guy's treating me like shit.

01:40:31.000 That's not normal.

01:40:32.000 Men are supposed to listen to what I have to say.

01:40:34.000 Yeah, he should be treating me like how I see dad, you know?

01:40:38.000 There we go.

01:40:38.000 I had an issue dating all along after I got a divorce for years.

01:40:41.000 I had issues with, it turned out I was like, what the fuck is it just all women?

01:40:47.000 And it turned out that all the women I was dating were all liberal fucking psychopaths that would try to take you to court as soon as you break up or, you know, try to screw you over just because they felt slightly inconvenienced by something that you did.

01:40:59.000 And it turned out that all of them had shit relationships with their dads.

01:41:02.000 I found a girl.

01:41:04.000 She's actually, she's the one that turned me on to get off my launch.

01:41:08.000 She got me the free speech TV sub for the year as a birthday present.

01:41:12.000 And as soon as I found a conservative woman with a good relationship with her dad, all I needed.

01:41:18.000 All I was looking for all along was just a decent MAGA girl because that's all you need.

01:41:23.000 Where are you?

01:41:24.000 So thank you guys.

01:41:25.000 Where are you?

01:41:26.000 I'm up in New Hampshire, actually.

01:41:28.000 And it took until just now to realize that the Canadian accent's a little bit like the New Hampshire accent.

01:41:32.000 I guess the further fucking north you go, a little bit more like Canada your accent gets, because up in Maine is the closest we get to Canadian accent compared to here.

01:41:41.000 I was just talking to Tucker about Maine and New Hampshire and Vermont, and I got to say, it's some of the best liberals in the country.

01:41:48.000 They're pro-gun, big American flags on their yard.

01:41:51.000 I know that you had some shitty experience dating, but when you compare them to Madison, Berkeley, Portland, I kind of like Northeast liberals.

01:42:03.000 they just, they get the math wrong with the tax, but otherwise...

01:42:12.000 So we get a lot of imports from Vermont, where everyone's super bernie in Vermont, or kids from down in Massachusetts that come up to go to the public school or the public, like state college around here.

01:42:24.000 And the liberals in the college, at least the college students, the millennial liberals, they're dog shit.

01:42:29.000 All of them running around with proud as fuck and Bernie Sanders shirts on.

01:42:32.000 And, you know, I go out with a holster on and I open carry and they look at me like I'm some terrifying person just because I fucking love my country.

01:42:40.000 Like, fuck you.

01:42:41.000 Yeah.

01:42:41.000 As a tourist.

01:42:43.000 But I try to make a point too.

01:42:46.000 And, you know, you don't necessarily have to shit on people, but when I see someone who's got the burrito dick, like you showed earlier, I see those people all over the college campus.

01:42:54.000 And I just make a point to just give them a good long stare.

01:42:58.000 Just really just look at them.

01:43:00.000 Make them uncomfortable.

01:43:02.000 Make them know that people are looking at them like, you're an abomination.

01:43:05.000 I'm sorry.

01:43:06.000 You don't fucking belong here.

01:43:08.000 If you feel that way, there's a safe space somewhere else.

01:43:11.000 And why don't you just stay indoors all day over there and blog about how you fucking feel?

01:43:15.000 Because when you go out in public looking like a man in women's clothing, real life isn't Monty Python.

01:43:22.000 It's not funny to us.

01:43:23.000 I'm sorry.

01:43:24.000 Yeah, you look fucking ridiculous.

01:43:26.000 All right, callers.

01:43:27.000 Well, thanks for calling.

01:43:28.000 Good luck with your girls.

01:43:30.000 All right, do they want girls plural or do you just have one girl?

01:43:34.000 You know what's amazing about guns?

01:43:35.000 They're so powerful that they make bad men worse.

01:43:40.000 As in the south side of Chicago.

01:43:41.000 And they make good men better.

01:43:43.000 Like some of the best conservatives in the world are these hunters and conservationists, the best environmentalists you can ask for.

01:43:52.000 In the Northeast, New Hampshire, they're doing all these preservation thing.

01:43:55.000 The Ducks Unlimited guys in Canada, they're all hunters who want to make sure that ducks are there so they can hunt them, and they do more to preserve wildlife than any environmentalist could ever hope for.

01:44:07.000 That's who saved all the lions in Zimbabwe, too.

01:44:10.000 We see these pictures, even Jim Norton was all pissed off in Ricky Gervais when they see someone with a big lion.

01:44:16.000 When you see someone holding a big lion or a big elephant, that's someone who has saved thousands of elephants and lions just by making that pastime marketable, by making it financially viable.

01:44:30.000 It's called counterintuitive thinking.

01:44:34.000 Please try it.

01:44:35.000 More guns, less crime.

01:44:38.000 See a deadlion on Instagram, more lions lives saved.

01:44:43.000 See a guy hunting ducks, more ducks.

01:44:46.000 You want to save trees?

01:44:47.000 Buy more lumber.

01:44:50.000 The more paper you buy, the more viable trees become, the more forests there are.

01:44:56.000 The free market was God's plan.

01:45:00.000 It's what's best for everyone.

01:45:02.000 Communism is playing God.

01:45:04.000 That leads to genocide.

01:45:06.000 And dead elephants and dead lions like we had in Zimbabwe when Mugabe was running the show.

01:45:14.000 Next caller should get this box, no?

01:45:14.000 All right.

01:45:18.000 Okay.

01:45:19.000 Tom?

01:45:20.000 I don't care about that stupid box.

01:45:21.000 I mean that awesome box.

01:45:23.000 Do you want to box a CBD?

01:45:23.000 Yes.

01:45:27.000 Yeah, sure.

01:45:28.000 All right.

01:45:29.000 Your number's 570, right?

01:45:30.000 It starts with that?

01:45:32.000 It is.

01:45:33.000 I'll take you down, and congratulations.

01:45:33.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:45:36.000 Here's Gavin.

01:45:37.000 Thank you very much.

01:45:38.000 I appreciate it.

01:45:39.000 Hello, Gavin.

01:45:40.000 Hey, man.

01:45:42.000 I got my Clown World t-shirt in the mail today.

01:45:45.000 Oh, cool.

01:45:46.000 I love it.

01:45:48.000 Does it say free speech TV or censored TV?

01:45:53.000 Oh, where would it say that?

01:45:54.000 On the tag or on the mailing desk?

01:45:56.000 On the back?

01:46:01.000 No, it doesn't say anything on the back.

01:46:03.000 Oh, okay.

01:46:05.000 That's good.

01:46:07.000 But I had a tip for Ryan real quick.

01:46:13.000 Take brain pills.

01:46:16.000 Yeah, no.

01:46:18.000 When I get yelled at at work, sometimes I do, often I do, I just say, you know what, you're right.

01:46:26.000 I fucked up.

01:46:27.000 I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.

01:46:29.000 That might be your best bet when you get yelled at.

01:46:33.000 Because I notice sometimes you try to point out other things, like the microphone.

01:46:40.000 Oh, you broke your microphone.

01:46:42.000 Or like make excuses.

01:46:44.000 Just say, yeah, I'm sorry.

01:46:45.000 I fucked up and I won't do it again.

01:46:47.000 That's a good point.

01:46:48.000 Thank you, sir.

01:46:49.000 But thanks for calling, Carla.

01:46:51.000 That's a great tip.

01:46:52.000 But Ryan is incapable of learning.

01:46:55.000 For example, when we were skiing, he was wearing a Carhartt jacket.

01:47:01.000 And me and this other dude, his buddy, said, is that waterproof?

01:47:07.000 And Ryan goes, yes.

01:47:09.000 Okay.

01:47:09.000 Later, we noticed that it's soaked, drenched.

01:47:14.000 And the dude goes, what's his name again?

01:47:18.000 Hodge.

01:47:19.000 Hodge goes, he said that was waterproof.

01:47:21.000 I knew it wasn't waterproof.

01:47:23.000 And I go, watch this.

01:47:24.000 We're about 20 feet behind Ryan walking towards him.

01:47:26.000 I go, watch this.

01:47:27.000 He will not learn from this.

01:47:29.000 He will still get more steadfast in his beliefs with this data that contradicts his beliefs.

01:47:34.000 So we walk up to him and I go, hey, is your jacket waterproof?

01:47:39.000 And he goes, yep.

01:47:40.000 He's in a wet jacket.

01:47:42.000 And I go, how is it waterproof?

01:47:44.000 And he goes, the water doesn't get to me.

01:47:46.000 It stays on the outside.

01:47:48.000 That's all I need it to be.

01:47:49.000 I don't need it to be dry.

01:47:51.000 In other words, if you wear seven flannel shirts and you go out in the rain and you're dry, your shirts are waterproof.

01:47:59.000 No.

01:48:00.000 No?

01:48:01.000 No.

01:48:01.000 What if I wear three sleeping bags on my head and walk outside in the pouring rain?

01:48:06.000 Am I wearing a waterproof?

01:48:08.000 That's less effective than one jacket that has never gotten me wet.

01:48:11.000 Not once.

01:48:12.000 But it's wet.

01:48:14.000 All right, then it's not waterproof, but for my phone.

01:48:17.000 Oh, now that you're being recorded, it's not waterproof.

01:48:20.000 But what is the point of being wet?

01:48:22.000 Yesterday you said it's actually there's a membrane.

01:48:25.000 There is, there is.

01:48:26.000 There's a secret membrane in between the quilted lining and the car heart.

01:48:31.000 There's a secret plastic barrier.

01:48:34.000 It is marketed to not get you wet.

01:48:38.000 You do not get wet.

01:48:39.000 Okay, well, why don't you pull up the page you're on right now?

01:48:43.000 So can you show me waterproof anywhere on this page?

01:48:49.000 Water repellent, but...

01:48:52.000 It's right here.

01:48:53.000 Oh, I see.

01:48:53.000 Water repellent and wind resistant.

01:48:55.000 I think water repellent means like if someone goes for working men outside in the rain.

01:49:04.000 And it never gets me.

01:49:05.000 Dude, that thing was soaked, correct?

01:49:07.000 The outside of it?

01:49:08.000 Well, yeah, but you had only been skiing for so long, snowboarding, and you had a huge wet thing on the back and on the sleeves.

01:49:17.000 There were still dry parts, but if you had kept, if you had stayed out, you would have been soaked.

01:49:21.000 There's no membrane.

01:49:24.000 Okay.

01:49:25.000 I know my jacket.

01:49:26.000 I mean, I bought it for that reason.

01:49:27.000 I've been in the rain, just standing out in the rain, smoking cigars and that thing.

01:49:31.000 I know it real well.

01:49:32.000 It never gets wet.

01:49:33.000 It's just cotton twill, right?

01:49:35.000 That takes a long time to drench, just like a peacoat.

01:49:38.000 Is a peacoat waterproof?

01:49:41.000 No.

01:49:43.000 Exact same story.

01:49:47.000 Next caller.

01:49:53.000 I'm glad we stopped the conversation while I was still here.

01:49:56.000 We got Biggie.

01:49:57.000 Is your name Smalls?

01:49:58.000 Is your name Biggie?

01:50:02.000 My name is Viggy.

01:50:04.000 V-I-G-G-Y.

01:50:06.000 What kind of name is Viggy?

01:50:10.000 I was born in Lithuania, man.

01:50:12.000 My full name is Zigimantas Fakalowska.

01:50:16.000 It's much easier.

01:50:17.000 You know, I heard that in Germany the word Higgy means that perfect buzz you get when you're at a nice meal and like the right amount of wine, but not too much wine, and you got like a good satisfied food booze buzz.

01:50:31.000 It's called Higgy.

01:50:35.000 Yeah, sure.

01:50:36.000 that's me.

01:50:37.000 That's me.

01:50:38.000 Okay.

01:50:39.000 What can I do you for?

01:50:42.000 Okay, so here's the thing.

01:50:44.000 I'm 23 years old, right?

01:50:47.000 I was a theater major.

01:50:51.000 I didn't know shit about myself until about now.

01:50:56.000 And now I'm trying to figure out how to get friends.

01:50:59.000 Like, it's impossible right now.

01:51:01.000 I live in Stanford, Connecticut.

01:51:03.000 Like, it's impossible to find people who are even understanding of supporting Trump, of anything like that.

01:51:14.000 So I'm just trying to figure out how do you make friends at this age when you don't know anyone who can even understand what you're trying to believe in.

01:51:29.000 Go to a bar that's nearby on a regular basis.

01:51:33.000 Let's say Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7 to 8.

01:51:38.000 Get to know the bartender.

01:51:39.000 Get to know the staff.

01:51:41.000 And you will slowly learn that being in liberal states like a lot of Connecticut, unfortunately, and where I am down here in New York, we're the gays of 2020.

01:51:56.000 We're like gays in the 50s.

01:51:58.000 So you'll be talking, and you'll notice that some people will go, yeah, yeah, that didn't seem like such a bad idea, what Trump did.

01:52:07.000 And then you'll sort of meet eyes, and then you'll talk later, and you realize you just found a secret Santa hiding amongst the rubble.

01:52:17.000 They lurk everywhere.

01:52:20.000 They're there.

01:52:20.000 You just got to be regular.

01:52:22.000 If you want to make friends, you need to make a regular habit.

01:52:26.000 So go to the bar.

01:52:27.000 Like, I have like three different bars in Midtown I go to during happy hour, and I know the staff.

01:52:34.000 I've been going there for so long.

01:52:36.000 I have my Thursday crowd, my Wednesday crowd, my Monday crowd.

01:52:39.000 I know them all intimately.

01:52:41.000 Invite them to my house.

01:52:42.000 Like, we're very close.

01:52:43.000 And I've found the Trump guys.

01:52:45.000 The non-Trump guys, I just avoid that subject and don't get into it.

01:52:50.000 And there's, of course, people that are neither pro-Trump nor anti-Trump.

01:52:53.000 They're totally apolitical.

01:52:54.000 Those are good dudes, too.

01:52:56.000 So develop some habits and a routine, and friends will follow soon after.

01:53:03.000 Okay, one more question.

01:53:04.000 Can I ask one more question?

01:53:06.000 Okay.

01:53:08.000 Okay.

01:53:09.000 My fiancé doesn't like how much I drink.

01:53:14.000 She thinks that because I drink every day and, you know, it helps me, you know, open up with people that I know and helps me, you know, connect politically and such.

01:53:27.000 She thinks that's a problem.

01:53:28.000 How much of a problem is it to drink every day?

01:53:32.000 Well, culturally, I'm Scottish and it's unheard of not to drink every day.

01:53:38.000 The bar is part of your routine.

01:53:41.000 And in Manhattan, in New York, everyone has a beer after work.

01:53:46.000 They just have to.

01:53:47.000 In fact, more people are in bars than in their own homes because their own homes are fucking tiny in the city.

01:53:53.000 How much do you drink?

01:53:56.000 I drink, okay.

01:53:57.000 Do you know Luzonitas?

01:54:00.000 No?

01:54:00.000 Lagonitas.

01:54:00.000 Oh, yeah, Lagonidas, yeah.

01:54:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:54:04.000 I drink seven or eight Lagonitas a night.

01:54:08.000 That's a lot of beers.

01:54:10.000 Do you slur?

01:54:11.000 Do you ever wet the bed?

01:54:13.000 Never.

01:54:14.000 So just lie.

01:54:18.000 That's right, too.

01:54:20.000 Yeah, yeah, it's been working.

01:54:22.000 Yeah.

01:54:23.000 You just drink the beers elsewhere.

01:54:26.000 You know, I have a very weird compartment in my office that's by my fireplace where I keep my maker's mark.

01:54:33.000 I don't think my wife even knows that's a cupboard.

01:54:36.000 I think she just thinks it's a wood wall.

01:54:42.000 There's no need for, as long as you're not slurring or wetting the bed, there's no need for women to know how much you drink.

01:54:47.000 And if they come from a different culture where they think it's evil or wrong, then don't let them in.

01:54:52.000 No, she's Greek.

01:54:53.000 She loves it.

01:54:54.000 I mean, she's used to it.

01:54:55.000 She's half Greek, half Puerto Rican.

01:54:57.000 I mean, that's her culture, basically.

01:54:59.000 Puerto Greekan.

01:55:00.000 Puerto Grican.

01:55:01.000 Those are sweet treats.

01:55:03.000 Boy, I bet you get up to some rude bits in the old sex.

01:55:07.000 She's from Queens, so yeah, absolutely.

01:55:10.000 Yeah, all's fair in love and war, and don't tell women what you're up to.

01:55:14.000 It doesn't do them any good.

01:55:17.000 They are victims of their own curiosity.

01:55:20.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:55:21.000 I hope that helps.

01:55:22.000 We're running out of time here.

01:55:23.000 Can we give them some CBD?

01:55:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:55:25.000 Well, you're going to figure that out.

01:55:26.000 Sir, do you use CBD?

01:55:30.000 I just bought from Johnny CBD like a week ago.

01:55:32.000 Holy shit.

01:55:33.000 Well, you won the giveaway, sir.

01:55:36.000 It's over $110 value of what you just purchased because you're the winner.

01:55:45.000 Okay, so can you call him Mac link?

01:55:48.000 Oh, yes.

01:55:49.000 You did it, dude.

01:55:50.000 I'm freaking out, man.

01:55:51.000 That's awesome.

01:55:52.000 Congratulations.

01:55:56.000 All right.

01:55:56.000 Thank you, sir.

01:55:58.000 I have all your information.

01:55:59.000 I'll text you after the show.

01:56:00.000 All right, that's it.

01:56:02.000 That's enough calls.

01:56:05.000 Thank you for your input, folks.

01:56:07.000 A lot of advice this episode.

01:56:10.000 We've been getting advice, giving advice.

01:56:11.000 A lot of advice, giving advice, giving advice, frankly.

01:56:15.000 Giving, getting.

01:56:16.000 Let's end on a funny video.

01:56:17.000 Okay.

01:56:18.000 What should we do here?

01:56:21.000 Oh, let's just do the Charrettes chick on Twitter from Scotland.

01:56:24.000 This was kind of viral, so you probably saw this already, but I want to get it on file.

01:56:28.000 It was from today's notes.

01:56:29.000 It's 2.6.

01:56:30.000 Gotcha.

01:56:30.000 And I can't...

01:56:36.000 Okay.

01:56:36.000 I'm usually pretty good with these.

01:56:39.000 Hi there.

01:56:39.000 How are you doing?

01:56:40.000 I'm Leona.

01:56:41.000 I'm 21.

01:56:42.000 I work in Patterns Organic and Aberdeen.

01:56:45.000 And I like playing music.

01:56:47.000 I'll play the violin.

01:56:51.000 And I like to practice yoga.

01:56:53.000 I'm looking for a guy who is sensitive, is hopefully not a complete minger.

01:57:00.000 Between 20 and 30, who just wants to play a rap.

01:57:06.000 Fuck!

01:57:09.000 Hi there, how you doing?

01:57:10.000 I'm Leona.

01:57:11.000 I'm 21.

01:57:12.000 Working patterns organic and abroadine and So fake.

01:57:16.000 Yeah.

01:57:16.000 And if you get edited, why not edit those out?

01:57:18.000 Exactly.

01:57:19.000 I guess the argument would be to get used to the fact that I do that.

01:57:22.000 No, well, then you're going to show yourself like maybe do a few twitches.

01:57:26.000 But not I play the cunt.

01:57:29.000 Yeah.

01:57:31.000 I play the cunt, by the way.

01:57:33.000 Oh, wow.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:34.000 Are you good?

01:57:35.000 I was.

01:57:37.000 I was in my heyday.

01:57:39.000 When you're married, there's not a lot of cunt to play.

01:57:41.000 No, no.

01:57:41.000 There's no need for all that.

01:57:43.000 Your wife doesn't go, can you finger me, please?

01:57:46.000 Oh, my God.

01:57:46.000 I don't need you to finger me so bad.

01:57:48.000 I haven't been fingered since the 90s.

01:57:51.000 You know why they call me the Jimi Hendrix of cunt playing?

01:57:53.000 Why?

01:57:53.000 Because he's dead and doesn't play guitar anymore.

01:57:59.000 Get fired.

01:57:59.000 Get in trouble.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 10, 2020

GOML LIVE #29 - HOW TO FIGHT

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript