Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 18, 2020


GOML LIVE #30 | PUSSY WHIPPED


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 8 minutes

Words per Minute

163.54764

Word Count

11,233

Sentence Count

1,051

Misogynist Sentences

63

Hate Speech Sentences

55


Summary

This week, Gavin McInnes and his co-host Milo Yiannopoulos talk about the time they accidentally played a live show without a boombox, and how dumb it was. They also talk about how stupid it was for the band to play a song with no bass at all, and why it's a good thing they don't have to play it live anymore. Also, they talk about why the bathroom is the best place to be before a show and why you should never have to go to the bathroom before you record a show unless you actually have to. And, of course, there's a special guest appearance from a very special guest who has no idea what he's doing and no idea why he's even doing it at all. It's another episode of Get Off My Lawn! Get off my Lawn with Gavin and Co! Subscribe to, rate, review, and/or subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Podchaser, Stitcher, or wherever else you re listening to your favorite podcaster gets their shit together. Subscribe, Like, and Share, and tell a friend about this podcast! It helps us spread the word. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by Jeff Kaale ( ) Art by Ian Dorsch ( ) Music by Mike McLendon ( ) and Matt Knost ( ) Additional music by Matt Knott ( ) is produced by Ben Koppel ( ) Artwork by Jeff McElroy ( ) & Matt Knopkevitt ( ) Thank you for all the work you've done for this podcast and all the support we've gotten so far and thanks for the support and support is much appreciated! Thank you so much to the support us with our merch and support us, we really appreciate it so much, so much so much more! We really appreciate all the love and support you're a lot more than we can we can do it, we appreciate you, so please spread the love, you're amazing thank you, it really really helps us out here, we're making it out here. Thank you, thank you all so much of it, really really really, really appreciate you guys. -Gavin and I appreciate it, good vibes, good day to all of you, bye bye, bye, good night, good morning, bye. --Gavin, bye! -Maggie, Gave it out, bye -KIM & KIM


Transcript

00:00:14.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:27.000 Was the boombox there?
00:00:28.000 Uh, no.
00:00:29.000 But my signal isn't here.
00:00:31.000 You fucking tard who waited until the eleventh hour to play the show.
00:00:37.000 Like, why are we doing this seconds before the show?
00:00:40.000 This should have been ready at 8.55.
00:00:42.000 Instead, you're like sitting on the toilet, playing with your phone.
00:00:47.000 And you don't even have to chit.
00:00:52.000 Is this live?
00:00:52.000 What should we do?
00:00:57.000 This is not a good intro.
00:01:00.000 We went boombox-less.
00:01:02.000 No, I don't think that was the flaw.
00:01:05.000 It did make things feel different.
00:01:08.000 No, the flaw was the double bass.
00:01:11.000 Let's just start at the beginning.
00:01:13.000 I don't care that it's live.
00:01:15.000 We're gonna do it again?
00:01:17.000 Maybe you can learn from your fucking endless mistakes.
00:01:59.000 How was that double bass?
00:02:01.000 That time it wasn't.
00:02:03.000 Yes it was!
00:02:04.000 I think you heard it from my headphones.
00:02:06.000 Heard it from your headphones?
00:02:07.000 Yeah, because I took them off and it doesn't sound as slappy.
00:02:09.000 Yes it did!
00:02:13.000 Let's try it again!
00:02:16.000 I don't care how many times we have to do this.
00:02:19.000 It's very simple.
00:02:21.000 And this is why I was like, it's 8.54, it's 8.55, and you're like, no, I'd rather just air out my butthole in the bathroom.
00:02:30.000 Even though I don't have to shit.
00:02:31.000 I couldn't get into the zone.
00:02:33.000 Well, this is, while I was posting to social media, this is why it's weird because... Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean posting to social media?
00:02:39.000 Posting to social media... You had to go to the bathroom to post to social media?
00:02:43.000 No, no, no, but I sat down.
00:02:45.000 Uh-huh.
00:02:46.000 You know, I was like, all right, let's see what's going on here.
00:02:50.000 Let's see, but why are you seeing what's going on here?
00:02:52.000 If it's five minutes before we do a show, you should be running to the bathroom going, you're not gonna believe this!
00:02:57.000 I got explosive diarrhea!
00:02:58.000 I'm so sorry, boss!
00:03:00.000 Not like, hey, I might have to shit.
00:03:03.000 I believe it was nine minutes.
00:03:05.000 Because you said nine minutes to go.
00:03:06.000 OK, well, at five minutes, too, we still didn't have the lights on in the studio.
00:03:10.000 Yeah, I'm trying to figure out why.
00:03:15.000 Like everything should be a thousand percent ready to go.
00:03:17.000 Sorry.
00:03:17.000 A hundred percent ready to go at eight fifty.
00:03:20.000 Yeah.
00:03:21.000 This isn't Milo's show.
00:03:24.000 And then when you play the music, it should not be double layered.
00:03:28.000 Like, how have you not figured that out?
00:03:29.000 Yeah, I press the same buttons that I always do.
00:03:31.000 I don't know what's happening here.
00:03:32.000 Yeah, it's not you.
00:03:33.000 It's the machines.
00:03:35.000 The computers made a mistake again.
00:03:37.000 Stupid computers.
00:03:39.000 Sometimes when I do two times two on my calculator, it'll say six.
00:03:44.000 The computers make mistakes sometimes.
00:03:47.000 I press the one button.
00:03:49.000 Let's see if it doubles.
00:03:52.000 And the cue up was a total shitshow from the gun to the song.
00:03:57.000 That was also pathetic.
00:03:58.000 That was a shitshow.
00:04:00.000 All right, let's try one more time.
00:04:02.000 Wait, I'm not confident it won't slap.
00:04:06.000 Because now I don't know what's... All right.
00:04:08.000 Now you're on a super echo?
00:04:11.000 Jesus Christ, how long have you been working here?
00:04:14.000 How long is it gonna take for you to figure out this fucking...
00:04:52.000 From New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:05:01.000 What the fuck was that?
00:05:10.000 There was some other noise going on at the end there.
00:05:15.000 What was that noise?
00:05:16.000 What did it sound like?
00:05:22.000 It sounded like screeching feedback garbage.
00:05:24.000 And by the way, do you now realize in retrospect how stupid it was for you to say, you're probably hearing it from my headphones because it sounded good to me.
00:05:31.000 Well, every time I have my headphones on, I have to keep one ear off because it does slap.
00:05:35.000 There's a delay.
00:05:36.000 I don't know.
00:05:37.000 You see, folks, this is how you stay stupid.
00:05:39.000 You don't learn.
00:05:41.000 You just keep blocking.
00:05:42.000 So someone goes, hey, man, that thing you did, it didn't work.
00:05:45.000 No, I did it the same.
00:05:47.000 Well, I'm just telling you that the driver didn't show up.
00:05:51.000 Well, it's not my fault.
00:05:53.000 Now you can't learn.
00:05:55.000 But if you go, wait, what?
00:05:56.000 The driver didn't show up?
00:05:58.000 Hold on.
00:05:58.000 Let me check.
00:05:59.000 That's something.
00:06:00.000 Something didn't work out.
00:06:02.000 It's like if the driver didn't show up, then we as a collective have a problem here.
00:06:09.000 That's how the brain has to operate.
00:06:10.000 Not like, must be the computer's fault.
00:06:13.000 I did everything I had to do.
00:06:14.000 Fucking stupid computers.
00:06:18.000 And when you hear that there's a double bass, the same song is repeating itself, you're like, Gavin's wrong.
00:06:24.000 I don't know what he's talking about.
00:06:26.000 He's probably hearing it from my headphones.
00:06:27.000 This isn't a problem I have to worry about.
00:06:30.000 That's the only anecdote I have because I keep my... Anecdote?
00:06:34.000 Point of experience?
00:06:35.000 Point of privilege?
00:06:36.000 Point of privilege?
00:06:38.000 Point of privilege?
00:06:40.000 No, none of those words are in English.
00:06:43.000 Still not using the language.
00:06:47.000 But I notice that I get, there's a delay between my ears and the thing, so I keep one ear off towards the speaker every time I do the intro, just to make sure it's not slapping.
00:06:55.000 What the fuck does that got to do with what I'm talking about?
00:06:57.000 I said I could hear the intro on top of itself twice, and your rebuttal was, you're probably hearing it from my headphones, like I'm fucking Spider-Man and can hear your headphones.
00:07:09.000 And I'm making a bigger extrapolation and saying that kind of mentality, where like, nope, this isn't an issue,
00:07:16.000 Is how you never learn.
00:07:18.000 That's how you stay stupid.
00:07:20.000 That's how problems don't get fixed.
00:07:22.000 Here's the deal.
00:07:23.000 If the customer isn't happy, then you did something wrong.
00:07:26.000 People have to understand, especially Ryan's generation, culpability.
00:07:30.000 All right?
00:07:31.000 If you take a woman on a date, and you take her to Keene's, and you're having this awesome time, you take her to, I don't know, some fucking Broadway show that's really hard to get tickets to, and you look at her and she's yawning the whole time.
00:07:44.000 You fucked up.
00:07:46.000 What?
00:07:47.000 Those tickets are like 10,000 bucks.
00:07:49.000 It's incredible I got them.
00:07:50.000 I happen to know the guy who wrote the thing.
00:07:52.000 Yeah, I don't give a fuck.
00:07:54.000 She didn't like it.
00:07:55.000 It wasn't for her.
00:07:56.000 You failed.
00:07:58.000 The project didn't move forward.
00:08:00.000 So you don't sit there and go, well, she's a stupid bitch.
00:08:03.000 Keynes is a great place, unless you don't give a shit about her.
00:08:06.000 But you go, oh, obviously she's not into that.
00:08:08.000 I read her wrong.
00:08:10.000 So with this, you don't go, oh, you must have heard it from my headphones.
00:08:13.000 I didn't do nothing wrong.
00:08:14.000 Yes, you did plenty wrong, starting with not being ready 15 minutes before and going to give your fucking asshole an air tan.
00:08:25.000 She might also be a stupid bitch, though, too, on top of that.
00:08:28.000 See?
00:08:29.000 This is him in a nutshell!
00:08:30.000 This is how he fucking works!
00:08:32.000 But it's not mutually exclusive.
00:08:33.000 Two things could be true at the same time.
00:08:38.000 Because Keynes is really good.
00:08:44.000 You know what, I'm getting to the point where I think the solution is just like a taser or something when you fuck up.
00:08:52.000 You're like a horse.
00:08:53.000 That's nice.
00:08:55.000 Like the idea of, hey man, that didn't work out.
00:08:57.000 No, it's my headphones.
00:08:58.000 Well, that didn't work.
00:09:00.000 So maybe learning is impossible and it's just a matter of like a chalk collar.
00:09:05.000 You know what might have happened?
00:09:07.000 Some of our guests earlier could have leaned on something.
00:09:10.000 I don't know, because I press the same button all the time.
00:09:12.000 Yeah, you'll notice... Am I coming through the speaker?
00:09:13.000 You'll notice all your solutions involve you not doing anything wrong.
00:09:18.000 It's always like, oh, you heard it from my headphone.
00:09:21.000 Or now, the fact that we had someone in the studio earlier, they must have pushed a button.
00:09:25.000 They were leaning on the soundboard, but I'm telling you for a fact... Am I coming through the speaker?
00:09:30.000 No.
00:09:30.000 Okay.
00:09:31.000 For a fact, I'm pressing one button.
00:09:33.000 I've been doing the intro.
00:09:34.000 Was the intro fine yesterday?
00:09:36.000 Yes, but we've had problems with the buddly, buddly, buddly, buddly in the past.
00:09:40.000 And then when's the last time that happened?
00:09:43.000 Never ago?
00:09:43.000 Well, we don't usually use that song.
00:09:45.000 So the last two times we've done that intro would be like, we're going back now two weeks.
00:09:51.000 Because we only do it on Thursdays because we don't want to get fucked out of YouTube.
00:09:56.000 Okay.
00:09:56.000 It comes from the same place, so that's not a valid argument, but I get what you mean.
00:10:00.000 Oh, that's not a valid argument, is it?
00:10:01.000 No, because it comes from the same thing.
00:10:02.000 Well then why is it the only time I hear that song repeat itself, that's the only song I hear repeat itself, and what the fuck are you spitting in?!
00:10:10.000 That shouldn't bother you at all.
00:10:17.000 What the fuck are you doing on the show?!
00:10:20.000 You're chewing tobacco?!
00:10:22.000 It's not chew, it's dip.
00:10:24.000 You just leave it there, you don't chew it.
00:10:26.000 Oh, you just sit there and salivate your disgusting brown discharge onto a fucking napkin while I'm trying to concentrate!
00:10:33.000 You know how disgusting that is?
00:10:35.000 You might as well be jerking off!
00:10:37.000 That's gross.
00:10:40.000 I thought we agreed you're not gonna do that anymore!
00:10:42.000 No, I agreed not to spit.
00:10:44.000 You are spitting!
00:10:46.000 No, I'm not.
00:10:46.000 What's going in the fucking tissue?
00:10:48.000 Little pieces of the tobacco that get stuck in your mouth is pretty nasty.
00:10:52.000 But I'm swallowing every single gulp.
00:10:53.000 Get that shit out of your fucking mouth and never chew tobacco on the show ever again.
00:11:00.000 I shouldn't be subject to your disgusting, pathetic, weak addictions.
00:11:06.000 A lot of listeners chew tobacco.
00:11:08.000 It's the most American thing.
00:11:09.000 I got a lot of support.
00:11:10.000 People are like, dude, yee yee, you're chewing tobacco, bro.
00:11:14.000 I was like, yeah.
00:11:15.000 Do a lot of people chew tobacco on television?
00:11:19.000 I'm not on camera doing the things I'm doing.
00:11:23.000 Oh, really?
00:11:23.000 I mean, but I'll stop.
00:11:24.000 You just said folks at home, this is what I have to deal with.
00:11:28.000 Uh, I'm not on camera doing the things I'm doing.
00:11:30.000 And then you see him go and remove a strand of fucking tobacco on camera.
00:11:35.000 Usually I'm not.
00:11:35.000 Oh, usually you're usually not.
00:11:38.000 Oh, okay.
00:11:39.000 No.
00:11:43.000 I'm pretty close to cancelling this show.
00:11:50.000 But let's talk about Johnny Apples CBD just briefly.
00:11:53.000 I use Johnny Apples CBD every day.
00:11:55.000 Helps me recover from my boxing workouts, gives me the best sleep of my life, really chills you out at night.
00:11:59.000 If you ever wake up with the sort of the tears in the middle of the night, this can help ease the pain.
00:12:06.000 And it helps take the jitters out of coffee, I've noticed, the edible gummies.
00:12:10.000 I told everyone at my gym about them.
00:12:11.000 I actually brought it to the gym and other guys there use it and they love it.
00:12:16.000 And if you want to feel as great as I do, go to JACBD.com.
00:12:20.000 Use promo code GAVIN and get 20% off all orders plus free shipping.
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00:12:29.000 We, there's an office party in the studio next door.
00:12:32.000 And they said, hey man, we're going to be playing music.
00:12:38.000 We have a friend who plays guitar who works here.
00:12:40.000 And I said, well, I don't really give a shit.
00:12:42.000 I'll just, as long as I mention it on the air.
00:12:44.000 Thanks, man.
00:12:45.000 Appreciate it.
00:12:46.000 And they just stopped.
00:12:47.000 And I think it might've been the banging and the screaming.
00:12:50.000 Maybe.
00:12:51.000 I think we scared them.
00:12:53.000 Well, it's really inconsiderate for them to do so, so late.
00:12:57.000 No, it's nine o'clock at night.
00:12:59.000 We're in an office building.
00:13:00.000 What's the matter with that?
00:13:02.000 What kind of dick would comp- Hey!
00:13:05.000 The fuck's going on?
00:13:06.000 Oh.
00:13:08.000 The person who started this company, you know, they, we finally just went public and we're all finally making money.
00:13:14.000 We didn't make money for two years and the vice president is having twins.
00:13:18.000 So it's kind of a double whammy.
00:13:20.000 We're pretty excited.
00:13:21.000 Well, fuck you.
00:13:22.000 And I don't want to hear any music at all.
00:13:26.000 Okay.
00:13:26.000 We'll just quietly watch YouTube videos.
00:13:30.000 Um.
00:13:32.000 It has an amazing selection of gummies, supplements, and ointments.
00:13:34.000 Try their new delicious CBD cookies.
00:13:37.000 Are we gonna have a giveaway?
00:13:38.000 Yes, we're gonna have a giveaway post this free part behind the paywall.
00:13:46.000 You will not get high, but you will feel as great as I do every day, and you will have the best sleep of your life.
00:13:52.000 JACBD.com.
00:13:54.000 Use promo code Gavin.
00:13:55.000 Show the sponsors some love.
00:13:57.000 You get the idea.
00:13:59.000 Damn it.
00:14:00.000 I was supposed to wear the shirts.
00:14:01.000 Thank you for the shirts by the way They were kind of hurt that you took the shirt off and threw it Really?
00:14:07.000 Yeah, because they made that especially for us Okay, thank you very much Johnny Apple CBD Fist hurts quite a bit From you being the most annoying person in the world.
00:14:21.000 It's one thing for people to fuck up and just be like oh
00:14:24.000 God dammit, again!
00:14:26.000 With the intro doubling over itself.
00:14:28.000 Fuck!
00:14:28.000 I have to make sure I figure that out and figure out why it does that and what the problem is.
00:14:33.000 Sorry, boss.
00:14:34.000 Won't happen again.
00:14:35.000 But all these dumb fucking excuses where you just can't be wrong.
00:14:40.000 Like, you're hearing it through my headphones.
00:14:43.000 Or why are you getting notifications on your screen?
00:14:46.000 If we're gonna show a video and you're getting notifications, it's very difficult to notif-gay.
00:14:51.000 Yeah.
00:14:52.000 Like, how do you not know to not have that on your screen?
00:14:55.000 That's another thing.
00:14:57.000 And then he'll have an excuse.
00:14:58.000 I'm not going to say it.
00:14:59.000 I'm not going to say it.
00:15:02.000 Yeah, no, it's a computer.
00:15:05.000 I never do anything wrong.
00:15:09.000 All right, we're 15 minutes in.
00:15:11.000 My hand hurts.
00:15:14.000 Did you use an uppercut, a right hook, or a...
00:15:17.000 Yeah, I'm about to show you something.
00:15:19.000 I don't think we'll do it right now, this second.
00:15:21.000 Yeah, maybe we should do it this second.
00:15:23.000 What I did, in the world of boxing, that particular move I just did, is an illegal move.
00:15:29.000 If a boxer maybe goes low and he's below you and you start bonking him on the back of the head, you will lose a point, at least.
00:15:36.000 Probably a point per punch.
00:15:38.000 But I've actually, I worked hard this week.
00:15:43.000 I recorded this on Tuesday, and Ryan finally had it ready about an hour before we started the show.
00:15:49.000 Because why have things ready on time?
00:15:51.000 Why?
00:15:52.000 Like, why not just wait till the 11th hour?
00:15:54.000 It's factually inaccurate.
00:15:55.000 What is factually inaccurate?
00:15:57.000 I had to wait for you to okay it today, but you didn't see it.
00:16:01.000 I came in this morning, and the cards still weren't made.
00:16:05.000 Afternoon.
00:16:06.000 No, I came in this morning.
00:16:07.000 You were still in fucking... you were not here.
00:16:11.000 Okay, gotcha.
00:16:13.000 So the cards still weren't made.
00:16:15.000 That's why, if you'll notice, when you finally came into the office and looked at your computer, it was in Premiere showing the card.
00:16:22.000 That was Dad's way of saying, where are the fucking cards?
00:16:25.000 I see, I see.
00:16:26.000 Yes.
00:16:26.000 Did you even notice that?
00:16:27.000 But that was done hours ago.
00:16:29.000 Did you even notice that?
00:16:30.000 Yes, yes.
00:16:30.000 Yeah.
00:16:31.000 Hours ago.
00:16:32.000 It's nine o'clock.
00:16:34.000 And you had this, we had this footage on Tuesday, and it's ready hours before.
00:16:39.000 Do you think that's good?
00:16:41.000 Do you think that's you kicking ass?
00:16:43.000 Plus, I take the kids away before the Thursday show.
00:16:47.000 So when I come in, I have to start right away.
00:16:49.000 I don't have time to mull things over.
00:16:52.000 So it was factually accurate, actually.
00:16:55.000 Three hours.
00:16:56.000 Yeah, when you take away me with the kids on Thursdays,
00:17:01.000 The amount of time I had when this thing was finally done was down to the last fucking second.
00:17:06.000 Three hours ago, it was done.
00:17:07.000 Yeah, I take the kids away for three hours before the Thursday show.
00:17:14.000 But what does that have to do with me finishing the video that you've already okayed the changes for?
00:17:18.000 No, I hadn't okayed the changes for it.
00:17:19.000 Oh, you didn't?
00:17:20.000 Holy fucking shit.
00:17:20.000 No, you didn't.
00:17:22.000 You left after the changes were made and that video was finalized and pushed out.
00:17:27.000 Yes.
00:17:28.000 No, it hadn't been exported yet.
00:17:30.000 I left when I had to leave, and I had just OK'd it because it was just finished.
00:17:36.000 So that's called the 11th hour.
00:17:41.000 That's factually accurate, shit for brains.
00:17:43.000 Three hours before is the final hour.
00:17:46.000 If you hit me- I DON'T EVEN FUCKING MIND!
00:17:48.000 If you really hit me, I'm gonna hurt you.
00:17:50.000 Yeah, best of luck.
00:17:52.000 Really?
00:17:53.000 Yeah, really.
00:17:55.000 I mean, it would be pretty savage.
00:17:57.000 Oh really?
00:17:57.000 It would be pretty savage, would it?
00:17:59.000 Yeah, it would have to be.
00:18:02.000 Three hours before is too late when the guy's not going to be here.
00:18:08.000 If I was staying in the studio from three hours before till now, then that would still suck because it's still three hours before.
00:18:18.000 But this was the second before I had to leave!
00:18:21.000 But the only, my only problem, this is my last thing I'll say.
00:18:24.000 Why, why didn't you look at the video when you came in now?
00:18:26.000 Cause that would be, don't you have to look at it again if it's not done?
00:18:31.000 If it wasn't done, wouldn't you have to look at it right now?
00:18:34.000 Wouldn't you have had to look at it like when you came in the office right now?
00:18:36.000 I didn't say it wasn't done.
00:18:37.000 I said it was done at the 11th hour.
00:18:40.000 I think three hours is a really nice buffer time.
00:18:42.000 Not if someone's gonna be gone for those three hours you fucking nitwit!
00:18:46.000 Sure, you're gone, but your argument is that you have to come back and watch the video which you didn't, so what happened there?
00:18:51.000 No, that's not my argument.
00:18:53.000 Here's the deal.
00:18:55.000 If I have to leave at 5 and I'm gone till 9, right?
00:19:00.000 Then 5 and 9 conflate.
00:19:03.000 And now something done at 4.59 is just as bad as something done at 8.59.
00:19:12.000 This is not rocket science.
00:19:13.000 I don't know if I can do this show.
00:19:30.000 So anyway, fuck up number 950.
00:19:32.000 And by the way, have you done the mass shooting video yet?
00:19:36.000 Um, no, I have it in Premiere though.
00:19:39.000 Because priority was the boxing video and then the mass shooting video.
00:19:42.000 But why does it take, why does footage arrive on Tuesday and it's done at the 11th hour on Thursday?
00:19:48.000 Why does something take 48 hours?
00:19:50.000 With the boxing thing?
00:19:51.000 Yeah.
00:19:52.000 And it barely took any editing.
00:19:56.000 You had to, well no, there's a lot of really subtle things there that had to be done.
00:20:00.000 Like the end, like that little, a couple of seconds matter and all the timing of it.
00:20:04.000 Cause you gotta have, you know, good comedic timing in it.
00:20:07.000 And then you also don't want to have any fat there.
00:20:08.000 So you trim all the fat, make sure the cards are right.
00:20:10.000 Make sure the volume is right.
00:20:11.000 I want to add a little music.
00:20:15.000 I think I'm just going to edit these things from now on.
00:20:17.000 You could.
00:20:18.000 Yeah.
00:20:19.000 You don't use, I'll get to teach you how to use hotkeys because you use the mouse too much.
00:20:23.000 Yeah, I have a feeling if I use the mouse too much, uh, we're still going to be about 20 hours faster with the video.
00:20:33.000 Hmm.
00:20:34.000 I think you're in over your head with these extra edits.
00:20:38.000 Maybe.
00:20:41.000 Well, we ruined the neighbor's party.
00:20:44.000 Um, should we briefly mention Blue Chew?
00:20:49.000 Nah.
00:20:49.000 All right, well, let's show this.
00:20:51.000 This was apparently 40 hours of work to show you five important punches you can use in the art of boxing.
00:21:14.000 I'm just going to show you some basic punches here so you can be more alert in the ring and take out basically any opponent you want.
00:21:22.000 You can be a welterweight, you can take out a heavyweight as long as you follow the sweet science, the art of boxing.
00:21:27.000 So the first move I'm going to show you
00:21:29.000 It's just your basic jab.
00:21:31.000 The jab isn't just to hurt the guy.
00:21:33.000 It's also to sort of feel out where he is and see if you can set yourself up for a right.
00:21:39.000 So the left has got a lot to do with it and you'll see you watch someone like Conor McGregor and his left is what wins him his fights.
00:21:46.000 So this is just I'm going to show you the basics of the jab.
00:21:59.000 So you get the idea with the jab.
00:22:02.000 The next one I'm going to show you is the left hook.
00:22:06.000 Now the thing about the left hook is it's all about where you strategically place your body.
00:22:11.000 It's hard to get up close to someone when they're bigger and so with the left hook
00:22:17.000 You want to sort of get to the side of him and then use your body to swivel and nail him in the head.
00:22:25.000 Okay?
00:22:47.000 Okay.
00:22:49.000 And then this next punch is, of course, right.
00:22:52.000 Right cross.
00:22:53.000 Now the deceiving thing about the right cross is this isn't where the power is.
00:22:57.000 This is where the power is.
00:22:59.000 When you do a right, it's coming from the hips.
00:23:02.000 So twisting your ankle out like that is really what delivers the punch.
00:23:05.000 This is just the messenger, okay?
00:23:07.000 Don't kill the messenger.
00:23:08.000 So I'm going to show you how to do a right and how you can take anyone out using your hips.
00:23:26.000 So you may have noticed that this guy is doing a lot of body shots to me.
00:23:30.000 That's smart and I commend that.
00:23:35.000 When you're with someone who's a lot taller than you, you sometimes can't reach the head.
00:23:39.000 You can't get up there.
00:23:40.000 We use this headhunter bag to practice that.
00:23:43.000 But if he's up there, that's okay.
00:23:45.000 Forget the head.
00:23:46.000 You want to do body blows.
00:23:47.000 Body blows are some of the most powerful blows that you can give to a guy.
00:23:51.000 And with these big tall guys, it's how you take them down.
00:23:54.000 I'm going to show you some basics on the body blow.
00:24:06.000 This one is kind of a trick.
00:24:16.000 Dirty fool, we call it.
00:24:19.000 And what I like to do is, it's part of the body thing.
00:24:24.000 You go down low, nail the body right, so he's like, oh, this guy's down here, hit my body.
00:24:29.000 Then, you surprise him with an overhand right.
00:24:32.000 It's like getting attacked by a fighter jet.
00:24:34.000 They never see it coming, and it's a surefire way to take out a big guy, okay?
00:24:39.000 So, go to the body, overhand right.
00:25:02.000 So that's basically how you can beat the shit out of anyone.
00:25:06.000 Just using those five moves.
00:25:19.000 This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.
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00:26:27.000 If you remember on a show a long time ago, I think one of my teeth is loose now, we were talking about Robert Downey Jr.
00:26:35.000 and how terribly he's dressed
00:26:38.000 In all movies.
00:26:40.000 I initially had a theory that he was boning his stylist and she was incompetent but because he was fucking her and I guess she had stuff on him then she got away with her incompetence and just her whole career was blowing our DJ on the side and then styling him.
00:26:58.000 Readers wrote in with better theories
00:27:01.000 So I'm losing that.
00:27:02.000 That one's in the garbage now.
00:27:04.000 And I'm going with a viewer-submitted theory that he said, I'm kind of a fashion guy, so I'll be handling most of my styling.
00:27:13.000 You can have a stylist, and I'm open to her input, but I kind of do it myself.
00:27:18.000 Because it's just so alarmingly consistent, and has been his entire career.
00:27:22.000 I saw back to school the other night with the kids, because someone at the bar said,
00:27:28.000 Oh my god, that movie's so funny.
00:27:29.000 This was like a 60-year-old.
00:27:31.000 Especially when they're talking about business, and Rodney Dangerfield goes, uh, well, first you gotta pay off the unions, then you gotta make sure sanitation is taken care of, then you gotta make sure these- and he starts talking about all the guys you have to bribe to build a factory, because they were talking about how to start a business.
00:27:48.000 And I thought, that sounds funny, I'm gonna put on that movie.
00:27:51.000 The kids were bored shitless.
00:27:52.000 It's a really predictable, uninteresting film that goes nowhere.
00:27:57.000 I mean, picture it in your head, nouveau riche guy Rodney Dangerfield goes back to school.
00:28:02.000 Yeah.
00:28:03.000 That's the movie, you're done.
00:28:04.000 You can just sit in a chair, close your eyes, and that's exactly what you think it's gonna be.
00:28:11.000 But again, our DJ is in it, and he looks way toolier.
00:28:16.000 Oh, it's the 80s!
00:28:17.000 No, no, no.
00:28:18.000 I was around in the 80s.
00:28:20.000 This is a different level.
00:28:21.000 Can you show some of these ensembles he had?
00:28:24.000 He has this dye in his hair that's just like blue chalk and pink chalk.
00:28:29.000 It's not real dye.
00:28:31.000 Or then this picture, I don't even understand it.
00:28:34.000 You see the one where he has the plane through his head?
00:28:37.000 That's- he's wearing that to a football game.
00:28:39.000 But underneath the helmet, he's wearing a hairnet.
00:28:43.000 Yeah, and he has a gas mask.
00:28:44.000 Is this part of your school?
00:28:46.000 And then you go up a bit, and he's got on a pirate blouse.
00:28:52.000 It really is unf- I think in the top left of this entire thing, you'll see a gif that really sums up what a fucking useless tool he is.
00:28:59.000 Yeah, there we go.
00:29:00.000 He has not changed one iota from that.
00:29:03.000 And he was just on Joe Rogan.
00:29:05.000 I'm not sure how much we're allowed to show without getting in trouble from the powers at YouTube.
00:29:10.000 The fact that we're still on YouTube stuns no one more than me.
00:29:14.000 But, uh, God, he was on Rogan.
00:29:17.000 It's kind of hard to be a douche on Rogan.
00:29:19.000 Even someone like me comes across as pretty likable.
00:29:22.000 But what a fucking L.A.
00:29:25.000 tool.
00:29:25.000 First of all, what is with his shirt?
00:29:27.000 He's got like a $170 t-shirt on and then some skateboard wheel amulet made of turquoise.
00:29:35.000 The fuck is that?
00:29:37.000 What is that?
00:29:38.000 Of course, can you imagine how much stupid meaning it has behind it?
00:29:42.000 It's some Kundalini thing.
00:29:44.000 What's Kundalini?
00:29:45.000 Some sort of yoga, meditational game?
00:29:48.000 Oh, fuck.
00:29:49.000 I love how all these Hollywood atheists are so above religion, they don't need it.
00:29:53.000 And then all they do is try to simulate religion.
00:29:57.000 I don't need God.
00:29:58.000 And then Madonna's got her whole name is a mockery of Catholicism.
00:30:02.000 And then she's got the red thread on because she's in a fucking thing.
00:30:06.000 Or even Joe Rogan is like, I don't need that man in the sky, the stupid made up traditions like Lent.
00:30:12.000 I'm going to ghost for sober October.
00:30:14.000 Oh, so Lent but a different month.
00:30:16.000 Okay, wow, you're really thriving without religion.
00:30:19.000 Or even Stern with his therapy every single day.
00:30:23.000 I don't need religion.
00:30:24.000 I got my own shit going on.
00:30:25.000 What the fuck's going on with my life?
00:30:27.000 Who am I?
00:30:29.000 Every single day.
00:30:30.000 Anyway, so in this, Joe Rogan, who's a pretty cool guy, can't help but notice what a douche his guest is and says, what the fuck?
00:30:39.000 What, is that an Iron Man thing?
00:30:40.000 What are you doing?
00:30:43.000 So I was doing this before.
00:30:45.000 No, it's not cute.
00:30:47.000 Are you concerned with wearing around your neck?
00:30:48.000 Yes.
00:30:49.000 Being as you are obviously known as being Iron Man, are you concerned with wearing a large thing in the exact same spot?
00:30:55.000 Did you ever think of that?
00:30:58.000 How phony is that laugh?
00:31:00.000 Pretty bad.
00:31:02.000 This whole thing!
00:31:06.000 I'm not uncomfortable at all with you noticing that I'm a dork.
00:31:10.000 I was doing this before I ever got fitted for the RT.
00:31:15.000 So it was more of a... Just pause.
00:31:17.000 Now, Ryan, the uneducated tool who only knows comic books, had to explain this to me, but RT is the name of the suit.
00:31:26.000 The chest thing.
00:31:28.000 Yeah.
00:31:28.000 Oh, the chest thing is called the RT.
00:31:30.000 The RT node.
00:31:31.000 Yes.
00:31:32.000 The RT node.
00:31:33.000 So he's talking like we all know what an RT node is.
00:31:37.000 It's pretty bad.
00:31:39.000 Meanwhile, he's wearing a razor scooter wheel on his neck.
00:31:42.000 What the fuck is that?
00:31:44.000 I don't even, like, I want to just break it off and then not be dramatic.
00:31:47.000 Just, like, place it in the garbage and say, let's go.
00:31:50.000 Art imitating.
00:31:51.000 Like, I don't want to smash it against the wall.
00:31:53.000 It just needs to go.
00:31:54.000 It's like when someone has lettuce in their beard and you're like, you got some lettuce there from your Big Mac.
00:31:59.000 Let's get it out.
00:32:00.000 Let's move on.
00:32:01.000 Oh, really?
00:32:02.000 Yeah.
00:32:02.000 Oh.
00:32:02.000 Go back.
00:32:03.000 Go back.
00:32:08.000 Wait, I need to see the way he says R.T.
00:32:10.000 The R.T.
00:32:11.000 that we all know of.
00:32:12.000 Have you ever think of that?
00:32:15.000 Life is funny because I was doing this before I ever got fitted for the R.T.
00:32:19.000 Doing what?
00:32:20.000 Wearing cornball jewelry that you wear when you're 13?
00:32:23.000 There's that phase when you're 13 and you see your mom's jewelry box and your mom's probably cheap so she has a bunch of dumb shit like an Ankh and you're like maybe I'm gonna become medallion guy.
00:32:34.000 And then you have a turquoise wheel around your neck for maybe a day and you go, yeah, no, I'm not fucking, you might even have a turtleneck.
00:32:42.000 Like, no, that was a dumb idea.
00:32:44.000 That's fucking embarrassing.
00:32:45.000 That was up there with my fucking shark tooth earring.
00:32:48.000 It's, it's one of those two day things that you have as a little kid.
00:32:53.000 For me in high school, it was double mint gum for like a week.
00:32:56.000 I was like, I'm the double mint gum guy.
00:33:00.000 So it was more of art imitating oddball stuff I was doing anyway.
00:33:05.000 Just pause.
00:33:06.000 I'm talking about fashion and dumb things you do fashion.
00:33:08.000 Double mint gum is a thing you put in your mouth.
00:33:11.000 Yeah, but I tried to make it my thing.
00:33:12.000 Anybody want some gum and I'd always be chewing double mint like I need it, like a cartoon character?
00:33:16.000 Yeah, that's not really the same thing.
00:33:17.000 Like Popeye would.
00:33:18.000 Oh, really?
00:33:20.000 Yeah.
00:33:21.000 Oh.
00:33:21.000 Look, he's trying to make that trippy.
00:33:23.000 He's so used to talking to sycophants that it's exactly like fucking, what's his name from Empire?
00:33:30.000 Not Juicy Smollet, but um...
00:33:33.000 Terrence Williams?
00:33:34.000 Terrence Howard.
00:33:34.000 Terrence Howard, Simbos, who sees the various Simbos, and the way he talks, you're like, I know, I've seen this a lot with black guys with green eyes.
00:33:45.000 Not that he has green eyes, but I have noticed this.
00:33:47.000 They're used to people going like this when they talk, and rich famous people who are kind of articulate, like Terrence, are used to just farting bullshit,
00:33:58.000 At Pretty Girls and they're so happy to be here that they're like, that makes sense.
00:34:02.000 One in one is not two.
00:34:04.000 Which is literally what he says.
00:34:07.000 And I kind of figured it out this week too.
00:34:08.000 Remember he said you can either, now I'm getting caught up in what he calls Terenceology.
00:34:14.000 He said for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.
00:34:18.000 So, and he says, that's physics.
00:34:20.000 Yet, when you go one times one, that's an action, but you're left with one.
00:34:25.000 So you had an action, but you didn't have a reaction.
00:34:29.000 And it's like, Terrence, math is not physics.
00:34:34.000 When, I can't believe I have to say this, but when you say one times one, it's the number of groups of one there are.
00:34:40.000 How many groups of ones are there?
00:34:42.000 There's only one.
00:34:43.000 Okay.
00:34:43.000 Hi, I'm a one.
00:34:45.000 There we go.
00:34:47.000 It's not like you gave the one an electrical shock.
00:34:50.000 So I know that sounds fucking retarded that I have to explain that, but he's taken that silly mistake and he's leaving acting to pursue Terrence-ology.
00:35:00.000 Because they have the, what does he call them again?
00:35:02.000 Uh, Terry-ology, the flower of life?
00:35:05.000 No, there's the flower of life, but he says, I've seen that.
00:35:07.000 By the way, why aren't you pulling up Terrence Howard talking about this shit and showing his fucking gifs?
00:35:11.000 I don't know how long of a,
00:35:17.000 What does he say?
00:35:19.000 The aquatic... we find the radiatic equations or some shit?
00:35:23.000 Sounds about right.
00:35:24.000 That actually might make more sense than what he's saying.
00:35:28.000 The beauty of finding a Terrence Howard clip when he talks about Terrence-ology is you just jump in anywhere.
00:35:34.000 Anywhere!
00:35:34.000 And it's gold.
00:35:36.000 That's a reaction, right?
00:35:37.000 Oh, this is the exact point!
00:35:39.000 One times one equals one.
00:35:42.000 Then you give me two pounds and I'll give you a pound back.
00:35:46.000 And we'll call that even, right?
00:35:48.000 Wait a minute.
00:35:48.000 Wait a minute.
00:35:49.000 Wait a minute.
00:35:49.000 I'm sorry.
00:35:50.000 I know we've already covered this in the show a million times, but what he's now not even caught up on his own Terence-ology.
00:35:56.000 So he says one times one is two, right?
00:36:00.000 But he just fucked up his own logic.
00:36:02.000 And he just said, if you think one times one is one, then give me two pounds and I'll give you a pound back.
00:36:09.000 Uh, that's not what you say, dude.
00:36:12.000 You say one times one is two.
00:36:13.000 That doesn't mean two equals one.
00:36:15.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:36:18.000 He finds it funny, this guy.
00:36:21.000 Oh, that would be so fun, by the way.
00:36:24.000 If you're with someone, like say that's his girlfriend right next to her.
00:36:27.000 And you know what I like to do in situations like that?
00:36:29.000 You just sort of like say someone's being a fucking freak, but it's a place where you can't say, why are you being a freak?
00:36:35.000 So I'll just like take my elbow to my wife's elbow or whatever and just sort of go.
00:36:41.000 And then they push back.
00:36:43.000 Like, what the fuck is going on?
00:36:46.000 Until you could crush a mouse with the force of the two elbows, just like, what?
00:36:54.000 And then you maybe use your knee, and your knee's going against her knee, like, what the fuck is, we need to get the fuck out of here!
00:37:02.000 Like, one time we were on a cruise, and we went downstairs to, they had a comedy club on the cruise ship, and I had a few beers, and I was like, let's sit at the fucking front!
00:37:13.000 And we sat at the very front and he sucked.
00:37:15.000 And then I was like, how am I going to get out of here without standing up and walking in front of everyone saying, not a fan.
00:37:26.000 Anyway, let's see more RDJ because he talks like Terrence Howard, which is, I'm a genius.
00:37:39.000 He thinks that's really trippy that Iron Man has a circle in his chest and he wears big medallions.
00:37:49.000 That's art imitating life even though Iron Man had that stupid shit on his chest before Robert Downey Jr.
00:37:56.000 was born.
00:37:57.000 Isn't Iron Man from like the 30s or some shit?
00:38:02.000 But Iron Man, this is even more interesting because maybe you were born to be Iron Man because Iron Man obviously had that from the comic books.
00:38:09.000 Loosely prearranged destiny.
00:38:12.000 And what's incredible is how far afield you can go from it and still find your way back.
00:38:19.000 Yeah.
00:38:21.000 Very profound, Terrence.
00:38:23.000 RDJ, would you say there's symbols in the cosmos?
00:38:28.000 There are symbols.
00:38:30.000 There's the flower of life.
00:38:33.000 Look at him.
00:38:34.000 He's the worst dressed man in America.
00:38:38.000 Look at that fucking jacket.
00:38:39.000 What is that tracksuit?
00:38:42.000 He has been doing that for a while, though.
00:38:44.000 That same thing.
00:38:45.000 He dresses like someone who was in a super bad motorcycle accident, and they were dealing meth at the time, and they have head trauma, but they're also under house arrest.
00:38:54.000 So he's like in his house, but he's also being creative in his house, and wearing like a tracksuit he made, or his fucking, his friend's mom's hat.
00:39:06.000 House arrest is fun.
00:39:07.000 You'd be surprised.
00:39:09.000 Look, I'm Tony Stark today.
00:39:11.000 I watched all the Marvel movies.
00:39:13.000 It took me two days.
00:39:17.000 Fucking loser.
00:39:19.000 This is one thing we've learned on the show is that rich, successful people can be losers.
00:39:24.000 And I don't think I learned that until very recently.
00:39:26.000 Until Jack Ma.
00:39:27.000 Until Jack Ma.
00:39:28.000 Jack Ma, the Michael Scott of billionaires.
00:39:31.000 And even Elon Musk.
00:39:32.000 Have you seen his stupid dance he did in China?
00:39:36.000 He was dancing like that fucking Theresa May dance where she comes in like Slenderman and has her weird praying mantis legs and she's going, hey, I'm fun.
00:39:46.000 And then you had fucking our own Jack Ma.
00:39:50.000 Totally rocking.
00:39:51.000 What's his accent now?
00:39:52.000 Is he South African?
00:39:53.000 South African, yeah.
00:39:54.000 South African.
00:39:56.000 Shoot the ball.
00:39:58.000 Shoot to kill.
00:40:01.000 I'm fun.
00:40:02.000 I'm kind of crazy.
00:40:04.000 Is he trying to get Asian pussy in China by being fun?
00:40:14.000 Yeah, maybe he likes a certain type of Chinese that's like a tribe and he learned their mating dance.
00:40:19.000 By the way, how fucking gay must this party be next door?
00:40:24.000 Because it's pretty loud, right?
00:40:26.000 Yeah.
00:40:26.000 So he probably bought his PV amp to the office.
00:40:29.000 They all know him.
00:40:30.000 This is exactly like The Office with David Brent.
00:40:33.000 Free love on the hot love highway where the love is free and my baby is gone.
00:40:38.000 She's dead.
00:40:39.000 She's not dead.
00:40:41.000 We have David Brent behind us because he's been playing songs now.
00:40:45.000 Like he's a set.
00:40:46.000 So they can't talk.
00:40:48.000 It's too loud for them to talk.
00:40:51.000 Right?
00:40:52.000 Yeah.
00:40:52.000 So that means everyone who works with Roy is watching him right now.
00:40:56.000 Sing Brown Eyed Girl going.
00:40:58.000 And I guarantee you, elbows are pushing elbows really hard.
00:41:02.000 This footage from next door.
00:41:04.000 I would make myself barf and then say, oh, I barfed.
00:41:08.000 Food poisoning.
00:41:09.000 I should probably go.
00:41:11.000 Love to hear more Brown Eyed Girl.
00:41:14.000 La la la la.
00:41:17.000 Racial.
00:41:18.000 So.
00:41:18.000 Racial.
00:41:19.000 She's the serpent who guards the gates of hell.
00:41:28.000 Sheesh.
00:41:29.000 Sheesh.
00:41:29.000 I'm not doing that.
00:41:29.000 I'll take the financial hit.
00:41:30.000 Anyway, this brings up our first important story.
00:41:45.000 Of the show.
00:41:46.000 My new obsession is women who control their men.
00:41:49.000 Now, I saw this post from Chelsea Peretti, who comes from an amoral family.
00:41:55.000 Her brother, Jordan Peretti, terrorized people.
00:42:00.000 John Lott, he made up a fake email address and said he was John Lott to fuck with John for writing More Guns Less Crime or being a gun advocate.
00:42:11.000 We're good.
00:42:30.000 And then made that his thing and started using that email to fuck with them.
00:42:35.000 So he's like a ruthless, immoral saboteur.
00:42:39.000 Jonah.
00:42:39.000 Jonah Peretti, yeah.
00:42:41.000 So she comes from a shit-stained family, right?
00:42:45.000 And it was the family they based Get Out on, if you will.
00:42:49.000 Yeah.
00:42:50.000 Uh, but, uh, which is funny because Chelsea Pretty's stepmom is black, but they obviously indulge in this role of we're evil white people, even though I think they probably are evil white people.
00:43:03.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:43:04.000 So she writes this tweet.
00:43:06.000 And it's just classic leftist Hollywood shit.
00:43:09.000 I like Warren and I like Bernie.
00:43:10.000 I like Warren more, but I'll be happy with either.
00:43:13.000 But also, is it all rigged and going to be heavily influenced by misinformation campaigns and endless racism and fear of progress?
00:43:22.000 What does that mean?
00:43:24.000 And climate denial and deep corruption and voter suppression, et cetera?
00:43:27.000 Let me know.
00:43:29.000 And I was looking at that going, oh, I kind of see better why Jordan Peele's a douche.
00:43:35.000 Like why he's a dickweed.
00:43:38.000 He's a talented guy.
00:43:38.000 And Key and Peele was some of the finest comedy ever made.
00:43:45.000 And, you know, it wasn't affirmative action.
00:43:47.000 They weren't given that gig because they're black.
00:43:49.000 They were given that gig because they are fucking hilarious.
00:43:52.000 And you can look up their viral videos on YouTube and they all have a billion zillion hits because they're fucking high quality.
00:43:58.000 Like the one where the guy was like, he had penises on his desk, he was a gay dude, and he's listening to ass-fucking music and stuff, and the Jordan Peele character was like, can you calm down, please?
00:44:08.000 He's like, oh, we got a homophobe in the house, what's the matter, you got a problem with faggots?
00:44:12.000 And the guy's like, no, just please, turn your music down and don't have dicks everywhere, I'm at work.
00:44:17.000 Yeah, that sketch.
00:44:18.000 And then at the end of it, the guy you don't think is gay's boyfriend shows up, his name, incidentally, is Gavin.
00:44:24.000 And then the gay dude goes, oh, it's not because I'm gay.
00:44:29.000 Huh.
00:44:30.000 Maybe I'm just an asshole.
00:44:32.000 Wow.
00:44:32.000 I was like, wow, that is fucking perfect.
00:44:36.000 What a genius.
00:44:36.000 And then he gets in with Chelsea Peretti.
00:44:38.000 And the next thing you know, he's making movies about how white people are evil and they want to kill everyone.
00:44:42.000 And what's his latest project?
00:44:43.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:44.000 We were talking about this yesterday.
00:44:46.000 Nazi Hunter.
00:44:48.000 It's a squad.
00:44:50.000 With like a cool blaxploitation chick and a cool Jew ninja.
00:44:55.000 And they go through the streets and they find Nazis who are, by the way, everywhere.
00:44:59.000 Oh, they're everywhere.
00:45:01.000 Actual Nazis from World War II, and then new Nazis who just, like, I don't know what they do with their Nazism.
00:45:07.000 They just, like, shoot Jews from the top of a building or something.
00:45:10.000 And these guys go in there and they kill them all.
00:45:13.000 Shoot them in the face.
00:45:14.000 Haha, Nazi.
00:45:14.000 This is mitzvah.
00:45:17.000 Anyway, my theory here, I'm postulating, is that Jordan is just so happy to be with Chelsea that he's become a chick, an annoying liberal chick who shoves their dumb racist identity politics down your throat everywhere they go, even though Jordan Poole grew up white in the Upper West Side with his white mom, his black dad not around.
00:45:41.000 And it brings me to another, even bigger deal with this pussywhippedness.
00:45:45.000 There's two layers of pussywhipped, right?
00:45:49.000 There's Jordan Peele, who grew up without a dad, so he's probably naturally subservient to women.
00:45:53.000 So he gets Chelsea and he's like, I'm your bitch.
00:45:57.000 What should I do?
00:45:58.000 Oh, a bunch of shit about how everything's racist?
00:46:01.000 I'm in.
00:46:01.000 Let's start with your family.
00:46:04.000 But the higher level of pussywhippedness is second marriages.
00:46:10.000 Those guys are like, you can shoot me.
00:46:13.000 You can fucking kill me.
00:46:15.000 You want to be a tattooist?
00:46:16.000 Why don't you practice on my face?
00:46:17.000 Right?
00:46:18.000 Faggot.
00:46:18.000 I don't care.
00:46:19.000 Whatever you want.
00:46:21.000 And a great example of this, of course, is Jimmy Kimmel, who, like Jordan Peele, used to be a super funny, awesome dude.
00:46:27.000 He did Windy City Heat, the meanest movie ever made.
00:46:32.000 It was a quarter century prank on a dude?
00:46:36.000 That's the real Jimmy Kimmel.
00:46:37.000 A mean guy.
00:46:38.000 I've hung out with him.
00:46:39.000 He's a jerk.
00:46:40.000 I like that, though.
00:46:41.000 But he's a fucking dick.
00:46:42.000 Like, I was at a dinner once, and I brought my motorbike, and as I was leaving, I noticed he'd written Hillary on the back of my helmet with indelible Sharpie.
00:46:52.000 I had to put reflective tape on that.
00:46:54.000 I couldn't get it off.
00:46:55.000 Anyway, that's the true Jimmy Kimmel.
00:46:57.000 He gets married too young, has a bunch of kids, gets divorced.
00:47:01.000 Divorce traumatizes.
00:47:03.000 I mostly only know men who were divorced, but I assume it's the same with women.
00:47:06.000 Divorce crushes a person, traumatizes them, like Pat Dixon.
00:47:11.000 With his new marriage, he's like, she could literally stab me and I would get stitches and we would move on.
00:47:18.000 When my wounds healed, so would our marriage.
00:47:20.000 Anthony Cumia swore to never, ever, ever get married again.
00:47:23.000 Anthony Cumia just said never again, right?
00:47:25.000 So, when these guys get married, their second marriage, they go, anything goes, I'm anyone's dog for a bone.
00:47:32.000 No, sorry, I'm this, anyone, I'm this person's dog for a bone, no matter what.
00:47:37.000 Terrible analogy.
00:47:39.000 So, Molly, Jimmy Kimmel's
00:47:43.000 New wife, who just gave him a son, is a huge social justice warrior.
00:47:48.000 Look, enough gun violence is her icon.
00:47:50.000 She's also one of these new moms who can't believe how awesome she is for being a mom and how hard it is and how she's a warrior.
00:47:57.000 And look at this.
00:47:58.000 Check out her tweets.
00:47:59.000 This is how fucking lefto weirdo she is.
00:48:01.000 Michelle Williams gave the speech of the night.
00:48:04.000 This is the speech, by the way, where Michelle Williams goes, I
00:48:07.000 The reason I can get awards like this is because I don't have babies in the way at inconvenient times, so I abort them.
00:48:13.000 In other words, I killed my babies for this false idol.
00:48:16.000 In other words, I'm basically a Satanist.
00:48:20.000 But no, that's heroic to the left.
00:48:21.000 And they said, while creating a human under her dress.
00:48:24.000 So now creating a human is an awesome thing.
00:48:26.000 While talking about abortions.
00:48:29.000 Yikes.
00:48:30.000 And because there is no better multitasker than a mother, we should probably elect one.
00:48:36.000 Then it's pictures like, look at the one below it.
00:48:38.000 Holy shit.
00:48:39.000 I'm always working on this shit or it goes a little lower.
00:48:42.000 Look at this.
00:48:43.000 I got to do a day of this shit.
00:48:44.000 I open.
00:48:45.000 Yeah, lady, we have kids.
00:48:46.000 We know what it involves.
00:48:47.000 You're not breaking new ground here.
00:48:49.000 But Kimmel is so determined to make this last that he's like, I'm Molly.
00:48:53.000 I'm fucking, I want to eat Michelle Williams out while she gives birth.
00:48:56.000 I'm so happy that she had an abortion.
00:49:01.000 And I think a lot of this is these guys, they say, okay, I'm going to keep my wife happy no matter what.
00:49:06.000 I'll subsume her politics.
00:49:08.000 I'll just become whatever she is.
00:49:09.000 But also, they want to get invited to dinner parties.
00:49:13.000 Oh, sorry.
00:49:14.000 What do these new rich wives want more than anything?
00:49:17.000 They don't have to do any work.
00:49:19.000 That's all handled.
00:49:20.000 They want to get invited to dinner parties.
00:49:22.000 Who runs these dinner parties?
00:49:24.000 The other cunty second wives, right?
00:49:26.000 And they all have the same politics.
00:49:28.000 So if you don't want to be disinvited from these, you better hate Trump.
00:49:31.000 You better kiss your girlfriend's ass.
00:49:34.000 Or sorry, your second wife's ass.
00:49:35.000 Then she gets invited to the parties.
00:49:37.000 Everyone's happy.
00:49:38.000 Happy wife, happy life.
00:49:42.000 Example number two.
00:49:44.000 Howard Stern.
00:49:45.000 So it's the exact same story as Kimmel, exact same story as Kumia.
00:49:49.000 Gets a wife too early, then becomes super rich, and is, ugh, I don't really want this anymore.
00:49:56.000 Turfs the hag, as they say in the movie Husbands and Wives, as soon as you show your age, they wanna trade you in for a younger model.
00:50:04.000 So he gets Beth Ostrosky, a supermodel.
00:50:08.000 And she's not gonna have kids, Howard's already had kids, so there's a massive void.
00:50:14.000 In her womb.
00:50:15.000 So she fills it with fucking kittens.
00:50:18.000 And she works for some North Shore Animal Rescue.
00:50:22.000 Howard Stern makes 90 million a year.
00:50:24.000 What?
00:50:25.000 Does everyone at North Shore Animal League have a Lamborghini?
00:50:29.000 Do all the cats have three-piece suits and their own personal trainer?
00:50:33.000 Like, how much money does this fucking thing need?
00:50:36.000 Anyway, so she's all about animals to fill the void.
00:50:39.000 So he's Animal Guy.
00:50:41.000 Oh, I love cats!
00:50:43.000 Really?
00:50:43.000 You never mentioned them before, Howard.
00:50:45.000 No, I'm a cat.
00:50:46.000 Oh my God, we go full douche circle.
00:50:50.000 Look at his face.
00:50:51.000 Like he's doing something profound.
00:50:54.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:50:55.000 I'm holding a cat and I don't care if the whole world knows it.
00:50:59.000 I'm standing up for North Shore Animal League.
00:51:02.000 Like we're all eating chicken sandwiches going, that's amazing.
00:51:05.000 They saved another animal life.
00:51:08.000 How important?
00:51:09.000 Kittens are so important!
00:51:11.000 Like that fucking Netflix show, uh, Don't Fuck With Cats.
00:51:16.000 And I'm watching it going, I'm glad you caught the guy, and it turned out to be he was worse than just a cat killer, but couldn't you have that same sort of due diligence with jihadists?
00:51:24.000 Could you not, uh, worry less about kittens and more about the next terrorist attack?
00:51:28.000 Because we need your weaponized autism, but not so much for cats.
00:51:33.000 I'm not so worried about kittens.
00:51:35.000 I don't give a fuck about your dog.
00:51:38.000 I don't give a fuck about my dog.
00:51:41.000 Alright, so that's Howard Stern, and you can see, like, look at her Twitter.
00:51:44.000 It's like, I'm glad I didn't have kids.
00:51:47.000 I'm doing great without them.
00:51:49.000 Anyway, save this kitten because it's cute.
00:51:52.000 Squirrels.
00:51:53.000 Don't hurt me, I have big eyes.
00:51:55.000 It's about squirrels.
00:51:56.000 Squirrels absolutely love pumpkins, so don't chuck yours away.
00:51:59.000 Like, squirrels are rats.
00:52:02.000 Feed the rats!
00:52:03.000 Wait, but not just squirrels, to be fair.
00:52:05.000 Birds, hedgehogs, badgers, and foxes.
00:52:07.000 Oh, let's feed all the rats.
00:52:09.000 Yeah, so let's have a rotting fruit.
00:52:10.000 Hey Beth, animals are losers, and the fact that you didn't give birth is a tragedy.
00:52:16.000 And the kittens thing?
00:52:18.000 You might as well be helping insects.
00:52:20.000 Hey, there's ten more flies alive thanks to me.
00:52:23.000 Great work.
00:52:24.000 Why don't you go save some fucking fish?
00:52:28.000 Go save some minnows.
00:52:29.000 Have a minnow feeder on the beach.
00:52:34.000 Alright, final example of this.
00:52:38.000 And then we'll head to the paywall if we do like 37 more reads for BetDSI.
00:52:46.000 Anthony Bourdain.
00:52:49.000 I've met Chelsea Peretti, not met Jordan Peele, met Jimmy Kimmel, not met Howard Stern, but I've met Anthony Bourdain.
00:52:56.000 Fiery liberal.
00:52:57.000 He wanted to cut Sarah Palin's skin off, if I recall, which I thought was a little harsh.
00:53:02.000 But in New York City, that's the common vernacular from the left.
00:53:05.000 In fact, I've had a lot of guys that I consider friends go, yeah, I know, Gavin, you think abortion is murder.
00:53:10.000 So do I. And I'm for it.
00:53:12.000 I know several different people who've said that.
00:53:15.000 Of course, you can't argue that.
00:53:16.000 You go, oh, OK, well, then my guests were on the same page.
00:53:21.000 So Anthony Bourdain has this this wife and he talks about her all the time and then she dumps him and he's fucking destroyed.
00:53:27.000 She took AMA and he was talking about how my wife could kick your ass.
00:53:31.000 Holy shit.
00:53:31.000 You wouldn't last 10 seconds with my wife.
00:53:34.000 And she dumps him.
00:53:37.000 He's destitute, you know, emotionally.
00:53:40.000 And then he gets Asia Argento, who's the Hollywood star.
00:53:44.000 And she understands his crazy schedule.
00:53:48.000 He's ecstatic.
00:53:48.000 He's in heaven.
00:53:49.000 I found the one.
00:53:51.000 So he puts all his eggs in that basket, just like Kimmel, just like Peele, just like Stern.
00:53:57.000 And he's a very happy man.
00:53:58.000 And he's like, I don't care what she wants.
00:54:00.000 If she wants to become a serial killer, I'm going to serial kill with her.
00:54:04.000 And then she gets caught cheating.
00:54:07.000 She's a fucking slut.
00:54:08.000 She's a big part of Me Too.
00:54:10.000 Meanwhile, she was fucking, she Me Too'd some underage boy.
00:54:14.000 That's, uh, I think that's 1-6.
00:54:18.000 Yeah, she's all about, oh, it's so horrible the way successful, powerful, older people prey on the young.
00:54:23.000 Except when I do it, of course.
00:54:25.000 Then it's fun.
00:54:27.000 So anyway, she gets photographed cheating with this, uh, reporter, who was, it was probably basically prostitution, right?
00:54:33.000 I'll fuck him and I'll get a good review.
00:54:36.000 Um, Asia was spotted back at home strolling around with a French reporter named Hugo Clement.
00:54:41.000 Now, I thought Hugo was friends with Bourdain, but I'm not sure about that.
00:54:45.000 And of course the Italian photographer was blamed for this, but Anthony Bourdain saw it and killed himself.
00:54:52.000 Could he put all his eggs in that basket?
00:54:54.000 Anyway, I'll end this with, guys and ladies, your wife, your husband, is not your soulmate.
00:55:02.000 That's lame.
00:55:04.000 That's queer.
00:55:06.000 She's not the one.
00:55:07.000 Like, she's just a good partner that you love to be around and you build together, you build something wonderful, but you have a life too.
00:55:16.000 You don't need her politics.
00:55:18.000 My wife voted for Hillary.
00:55:19.000 She's a liberal vegan.
00:55:21.000 We have our own interests, our own books.
00:55:24.000 You don't have to watch all your shows together.
00:55:26.000 Naomi Schaefer Riley is one of my favorite authors, and she wrote an article about this, saying,
00:55:35.000 And they are separate human beings.
00:55:37.000 Howard Stern, you don't give a fuck about cats.
00:55:40.000 Jimmy Kimmel, you don't give a fuck about all these leftist bullshit.
00:55:44.000 And Bourdain, you should have realized that you were dating a slut and she might cheat on you, and when she does, you just go, fuck you, bitch.
00:55:51.000 You don't rip your own fucking chest apart.
00:55:53.000 How did he die, anyway?
00:55:55.000 Oh, I think he hanged himself.
00:55:57.000 It's not hung himself.
00:55:58.000 It's hanged himself.
00:56:00.000 Anyway, that's my little moral absolution for the day.
00:56:05.000 He did hanged.
00:56:07.000 He did hanged.
00:56:08.000 In France.
00:56:10.000 He did hanged in France.
00:56:12.000 It was a Le Hong.
00:56:13.000 Long.
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00:57:06.000 Don't miss out, and go make some extra cash betting
00:57:10.000 This season.
00:57:11.000 It's only a game until you bet it at BetDSI.
00:57:14.000 Everything is more fun when you bet.
00:57:18.000 I do it with my kids all the time, but it's only interesting to me if it's high risk.
00:57:24.000 So I'll say, I'll bet you a hundred bucks you can't throw this baseball and knock over that bottle 20 yards away.
00:57:31.000 But then they'll just keep doing it and doing it for days until they get it.
00:57:33.000 And then I got to give a little kid a hundred bucks, which is stupid.
00:57:42.000 You saw that, speaking of sports, you saw how Trump was received when he went to the LSU Alabama game?
00:57:48.000 How was Trump received?
00:57:49.000 That sounds like anal penetration.
00:57:58.000 They seem pretty happy.
00:57:59.000 They're pumped.
00:58:02.000 That Norwegian I was hanging out with today was like, I think that he's a charlatan.
00:58:06.000 He's just taking advantage of the rage industry and he's fooling everyone.
00:58:11.000 No, that's who he is.
00:58:12.000 He's funny.
00:58:14.000 And he said, I've heard him say, threaten people at rallies and say, go punch him.
00:58:19.000 Yeah, that was a joke where he said, I'll pay for, I'll pay your court costs if someone punches him in the nose.
00:58:26.000 Home to mommy.
00:58:28.000 I'll bail you out.
00:58:30.000 Get your bail bond and get you a snack.
00:58:33.000 Where do you want to go champ?
00:58:34.000 Sonics?
00:58:35.000 They roller skate your meal to you.
00:58:38.000 It's a great deal.
00:58:39.000 I like, remember he said, home to mommy.
00:58:41.000 Go home to mommy.
00:58:42.000 Back to mommy's basement.
00:58:44.000 And mommy's upset because she likes me.
00:58:46.000 She probably likes me.
00:58:46.000 She'd say, why'd you do that?
00:58:48.000 Yeah.
00:58:49.000 It almost gets foreign when you get to his little asides.
00:58:53.000 She likes me so she said, what you doing?
00:58:55.000 It's his own language.
00:58:57.000 He says, uh, he says, uh, remember that guy was like, we love you.
00:59:02.000 And he goes, I love you too.
00:59:03.000 And he goes, wait a minute.
00:59:04.000 That's a guy.
00:59:05.000 A guy said that.
00:59:08.000 I don't get how people don't get that he's funny.
00:59:12.000 By the way, speaking of, uh,
00:59:15.000 Asia Argento being a kid fucker and somehow also getting away with pretending she's a victim in Me Too.
00:59:22.000 Also with the Me Too, wasn't her story that she blew Harvey Weinstein for a role?
00:59:27.000 Hmm.
00:59:28.000 It's not exactly rape.
00:59:31.000 Sounds like it's expensive prostitution to me.
00:59:34.000 I'm not sure you deserve to be in the same boat as like Lauren Sivan, who Harvey Weinstein beat off at.
00:59:42.000 And getting good at it, if you will.
00:59:44.000 Yeah, that's my bad.
00:59:46.000 But check out this horrible rapist.
00:59:48.000 One-six.
00:59:50.000 No, one-seven.
00:59:52.000 Married Oklahoma teacher and volleyball coach Joyce Churchwell, charged with first-degree rape.
00:59:58.000 Churchwell sent nude pics and videos on Snapchat to a student.
01:00:01.000 A teen student went to Churchwell's home.
01:00:02.000 They had a threesome with a woman who was a former school employee.
01:00:06.000 What would you say she is out of ten?
01:00:08.000 That?
01:00:10.000 She's 40.
01:00:10.000 I'm seeing not a lot of good stuff there.
01:00:13.000 I'm seeing a 3?
01:00:16.000 Or 4.
01:00:16.000 Let's go 4.
01:00:18.000 That's a 6.5 at least.
01:00:20.000 Not at least, but about.
01:00:23.000 Go to 1.8.
01:00:24.000 There's another picture of her.
01:00:25.000 Let's see this person.
01:00:31.000 Yeah, I mean, you gotta remember she's 40.
01:00:32.000 I'm gonna go with 6.
01:00:35.000 Anyway.
01:00:37.000 So, in that article, they say the age of consent in Oklahoma is 16.
01:00:40.000 However, if the victim is between 16 and 20 years old and is a student and engages in sexual intercourse with a school system employee, it is defined as rape in state law.
01:00:49.000 I mean... Like, is that 18-year-old having nightmares?
01:00:55.000 About the horrible experience you had?
01:00:56.000 About it ending?
01:00:56.000 Yeah, probably.
01:00:57.000 Now, if it's two male tea- This is the problem with feminism, where we say women and men are the same thing.
01:01:03.000 If two male teachers fucked an 18-year-old student, uh, we should probably drag them behind horses, uh, to the town square, then put them on the stalks and throw glass bottles at their head until they smash.
01:01:15.000 We'll borrow the bottles of piss from Antifa.
01:01:18.000 But two sixes?
01:01:22.000 Take the heat off an 18-year-old who's probably not getting it anywhere else because 18-year-old boys are insatiable horndogs and 18-year-old girls aren't interested in getting fucked seven times a day.
01:01:32.000 I don't know if it's the same.
01:01:36.000 It's not the same.
01:01:36.000 All right, we should take some calls.
01:01:39.000 You know what would be fun?
01:01:40.000 Why don't we take a couple calls outside of the paywall?
01:01:43.000 Okay.
01:01:45.000 This is a treat for y'all.
01:01:47.000 This is a treat.
01:01:55.000 I hear a lot of people cheering.
01:01:57.000 Yeah, I, you know, I guess they're having fun.
01:01:59.000 I think there's like 50 people at that office party.
01:02:01.000 We should probably stop over.
01:02:03.000 They're having a good time.
01:02:04.000 We should ruin the party.
01:02:05.000 Maybe I'm just an asshole.
01:02:08.000 I'm just like that Jordan Peele character.
01:02:10.000 Maybe, uh, Key and Peele character, I should say.
01:02:13.000 Maybe, um, every single person at that office party is having a fucking amazing time and they can't believe how good Roy is at guitar.
01:02:24.000 And wow, did he play some great hits.
01:02:26.000 All right, so one of them just says grape.
01:02:29.000 This could be rape.
01:02:33.000 Hello?
01:02:33.000 Hello.
01:02:33.000 Hey, man.
01:02:35.000 Hey, how you doing?
01:02:37.000 Good.
01:02:38.000 Great Andrew WK impression, by the way.
01:02:41.000 Thank you.
01:02:43.000 So I was just calling about that annoying guy that called yesterday talking about the gripers.
01:02:49.000 I'm not a griper, I don't really care about the movement or have any interest in being a part of it.
01:02:55.000 Can you turn it up?
01:02:58.000 Go ahead.
01:03:00.000 But I'm just getting kind of irritated about these people that just like, anytime, and like not, I mean like absolutely no antisemitism in what I'm about to say, but it's like anytime you get anywhere near being
01:03:16.000 Even okay with being like a white person or having any type of white pride or any type of white appreciation.
01:03:22.000 All of a sudden you're putting this anti-Semitic, anti, you know, basically racist category and it's just kind of, I'm kind of getting sick of it.
01:03:30.000 And it's like any time anybody goes near that perimeter, they just get shot down.
01:03:35.000 So that's all I have got.
01:03:37.000 Okay, yeah, that's totally valid.
01:03:39.000 I mean, the Groypers keep coming up on this show on a regular basis, and the two sides seem to be... Look, he's not just anti-immigration.
01:03:46.000 He said he would be fine with white people coming, he just doesn't think it should be all Mexicans because they change the demographics of the country.
01:03:52.000 And he denied the Holocaust.
01:03:54.000 They said someone called in about 6 million Jews and he said more like 350,000 but they used a cookie analogy and that's Holocaust denial.
01:04:05.000 And he thinks race mixing is gross.
01:04:07.000 He's against it.
01:04:07.000 So that's one side.
01:04:09.000 The other side is...
01:04:11.000 No, he's concerned with what the Dems are doing with open borders and they're changing the demographics and they're doing it for votes.
01:04:17.000 They don't care about Hispanics.
01:04:19.000 So we're on to them for that.
01:04:21.000 I don't think we should be funding Israel $3.5 billion.
01:04:23.000 This isn't me talking, by the way.
01:04:24.000 I'm a Zionist.
01:04:25.000 But he thinks that we shouldn't be funding Israel.
01:04:29.000 The Holocaust thing was a joke that was said once on the phone.
01:04:32.000 Race mixing thing.
01:04:34.000 I was talking about this today.
01:04:35.000 I'm obviously a race mixer, but I don't give a fuck what people think about that.
01:04:39.000 Like, I think it's funny if they're against it.
01:04:41.000 It doesn't keep me up at night.
01:04:43.000 I mean, I understand you don't want someone to have an ism, a bigotry, if they're a lawmaker, it could affect society, but why do you care?
01:04:51.000 Like, why do we care what Richard Spencer believes?
01:04:54.000 How does that affect us on a day-to-day basis?
01:04:57.000 So as far as the Gropers go, I don't understand.
01:05:00.000 I'm a little dubious of the fear.
01:05:03.000 Why are they such a threat?
01:05:04.000 Are they making policies?
01:05:05.000 They're 20 years old.
01:05:08.000 Is maybe the fear that they're effective and interesting and redpilling people.
01:05:13.000 That seems to make a lot more sense.
01:05:16.000 Was Nick Fuentes booted off of YouTube because he had said something wrong or because people were listening to him?
01:05:23.000 All right, we'll take one more call before we go behind the wall.
01:05:28.000 Behind the wall.
01:05:31.000 We got Shannon.
01:05:33.000 Shannon.
01:05:34.000 Hi, Shannon.
01:05:34.000 Shannon.
01:05:37.000 Hey Ryan.
01:05:39.000 Hello.
01:05:41.000 You don't have a dad.
01:05:41.000 Shut up.
01:05:42.000 Could the both of you, I love you both, man.
01:05:44.000 Could you both look up NPD and start to deal with the inability to take responsibility for your actions or apologize?
01:05:52.000 Dude, the video that you guys made of the vice chick doing standup, I had to go see the raw data.
01:05:57.000 So I went over and in the comment section, I just put Gavin sent me.
01:06:01.000 And an account responds, Claudia.
01:06:04.000 She's got a nice avatar.
01:06:06.000 That was my mother's name, so I got a sweet spot for her.
01:06:08.000 Anyways, she says a fellow Gavin fan.
01:06:11.000 So I'm like, yeah, you know, not too many women you expect to be Gavin fans.
01:06:17.000 Anyway, the next thing you know, we're on the phone, like on the regular.
01:06:20.000 I'm talking about you and stuff and all that kind of stuff.
01:06:23.000 And I know it's only been like a week or two, but we're getting married.
01:06:27.000 And I want you to officiate.
01:06:28.000 I want Ryan to be the flower girl in Trump character.
01:06:31.000 And even though I've never met this woman, I know nothing about her, she knows everything about me.
01:06:34.000 I mean, my life is online, right?
01:06:36.000 But all I know is this, well, she said Hollywood shot or whatever, this beauty shot.
01:06:40.000 But because I'm a pathetic human being and I so need this, we're going to get married.
01:06:45.000 But if she goes sideways and the answer can't be sitting in a bar at happy hour, how do I fill the pipeline with prospects or candidates just in case?
01:06:55.000 I think there's no chance it could go sideways.
01:06:58.000 You don't get to say, can you officiate the wedding and come to it, and then also ask for relationship advice post-breakup.
01:07:10.000 We would love to come to your wedding.
01:07:12.000 I would love to officiate it, but the call ends there.
01:07:16.000 I mean, you should be grateful that we're willing to trek out wherever the fuck you are, Winnipeg or some shit, and go marry you.
01:07:23.000 But I'm happy to do that.
01:07:24.000 I'll officiate the wedding.
01:07:25.000 Ryan will be there in character.
01:07:27.000 Thank you so much for calling.
01:07:29.000 What an absolute pleasure that was.
01:07:31.000 I'm not fucking officiating his wedding.
01:07:33.000 I think you'll hear this.
01:07:35.000 Did he accuse me of having multiple personality disorder?
01:07:39.000 I don't know.
01:07:40.000 Or I'm just an asshole.
01:07:42.000 I mean, it's kind of simple.
01:07:45.000 All right, we're going to wrap it up now.
01:07:47.000 Again, I'd like to remind you how important it is to check out johnnyapplescbd.com.
01:07:52.000 J-A-C-B-D dot com.
01:07:55.000 I mean, I told you that I like the gummies.
01:07:58.000 They take the edge off.
01:07:59.000 I've told you that the CBD, the ointment helps me recover from my workouts.
01:08:04.000 I bring it to the gym.
01:08:05.000 Guys, try it there.
01:08:06.000 I told you to use promo code Gavin.
01:08:07.000 I think we're all on the same page.
01:08:10.000 I think we all agree, right?
01:08:11.000 JACBD.com is the place to go to use promo code Gavin.
01:08:15.000 All right, we're now going to continue taking calls, but they'll be behind the paywall.
01:08:19.000 We're also going to be showing sketches, other sketches we've shot that are even funnier than how to box.
01:08:26.000 And I will end this free thing with get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
01:08:41.000 He goes, no.