Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 23, 2020


GOML LIVE #31 | YOUTUBE BAN


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 24 minutes

Words per Minute

151.60008

Word Count

12,838

Sentence Count

1,281

Misogynist Sentences

66

Hate Speech Sentences

79


Summary

This week on The Real Show, the boys are joined by comedian Joe Flaherty to discuss a controversial subject: What if your son was gay? They also discuss a video clip of a man dressed as Jerry Todd from SCTV, and discuss a new character, European Bobby, and a new theme song by hardcore band Zen Arcade. Featuring music from Zapsplat and the band Daggs. Special thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster, for sponsoring the show. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced and edited by Riley Bray. Our theme song was written and performed by Micah Vellian and our ad music was provided by Mark Phillips. Additional music written and produced by John Rocha. Thank you to our sponsors, and to our patrons, and our supporters, for making this episode possible. If you like the show, please consider pledging a small monthly or monthly support by clicking the link below. You can also support the show by becoming a patron, by purchasing a cup of coffee, by clicking this link, and supporting us in the form of $1/day, and we'll send you an ad, and you'll get 20% off the next episode of the podcast, plus we'll get a free ad, plus shipping you a copy of the next week's ad, shipping you'll receive $5/day of $10/day and shipping you're getting a free shipping address, plus a shipping discount, plus they'll get an ad on the next month's shipping deal, plus an extra shipping day, and they'll also get a discount, and shipping shipping, plus some free shipping, shipping, and some shipping, they'll receive an ad and a free promo code, and more shipping, it'll get it's best vouching, too of your shipping address is $5 or two days of the day, shipping that'll get you a review, and an ad will get it'll receive a shipping address in the next place you decide what you decide that'll receive the deal, and all of your ad gets a promo, and it'll also receive the shipping address will get a good deal, too!


Transcript

00:00:33.000 Oh, I forgot.
00:00:37.000 When you wear tight clothes, you feel like Superman.
00:00:39.000 Is that something like a foreigner said to you?
00:00:47.000 No.
00:00:48.000 I'm going to do a new character for today's show.
00:00:51.000 It's called European Bobby.
00:00:54.000 And I do everything with a funny accent.
00:00:57.000 It's going to be really funny.
00:00:59.000 And then sometimes I'll just not do the character.
00:01:04.000 How do I find that video you're referencing?
00:01:06.000 Uh, I'm just making up stupid shit, but I'm kind of reminding myself of, uh, uh, who's the guy from Ghostbusters who vanished when his, when his wife died?
00:01:15.000 There was from SCTV.
00:01:18.000 Uh, there was the, the McKenzie brothers were Dave Thomas and who's the guy he, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?
00:01:26.000 Rick Moranis?
00:01:27.000 Rick Moranis.
00:01:28.000 Rick Moranis had a guy in SCTV who dressed like this.
00:01:33.000 What the fuck was his name?
00:01:34.000 I think he was like a psychic or something.
00:01:37.000 Look up Rick Moranis.
00:01:38.000 Yeah, there he is.
00:01:39.000 Jerry Todd.
00:01:40.000 Oh, that's exactly him, yeah.
00:01:42.000 I accidentally dressed like Jerry Todd today.
00:01:45.000 Is that his name?
00:01:47.000 Let's see him.
00:01:50.000 Bob McKenzie, Chuck Mulaney.
00:01:52.000 Jerry Todd, yeah.
00:01:53.000 The internet is like your own brain if you are a genius.
00:01:58.000 Like, I'm smart now.
00:02:02.000 I can remain anything I was going to say.
00:02:05.000 I'm so smart now, I can remain anything.
00:02:10.000 Show us a video clip of Jerry Todd.
00:02:13.000 Because it reminds me of a controversial subject I wanted to bring up that I was going to wait until after the paywall.
00:02:19.000 Oh, are we going to get stricken?
00:02:23.000 Yeah, I don't want to say anything that could be construed as hate because I know my days are numbered on YouTube and this goes on YouTube.
00:02:30.000 For this clip, will we get stricken?
00:02:32.000 Oh yeah, we might get strict.
00:02:35.000 Find him when he's dressed like this, though.
00:02:36.000 Maybe if you show it for three seconds.
00:02:39.000 I saw this thing on GQ today, and it was a Navy SEAL talking about... There we go.
00:02:45.000 Okay, just show him for a second, I guess.
00:02:47.000 Hopefully... That's okay.
00:02:52.000 I hope we didn't anger the YouTube gods.
00:02:56.000 We're on the thinnest ice imaginable.
00:03:00.000 We're like a fat chick feeding the geese.
00:03:05.000 Um... Okay, should I just talk about it?
00:03:10.000 What?
00:03:11.000 That taboo that we weren't going to talk about until after the paywall came up?
00:03:16.000 Oh... Maybe if you tease this enough that people subscribe to check it out.
00:03:24.000 I don't think I can resist, though.
00:03:27.000 Okay, I can't resist.
00:03:28.000 I'm physically incapable of resisting.
00:03:32.000 What if your son was gay?
00:03:36.000 Now, there's several types of gays, right?
00:03:41.000 I guess you're wondering why I have this on the... I've been reading this.
00:03:43.000 We've been talking about a trash culture, like Thousand Pound Sisters, and this fucking dumb show, and that dumb show.
00:03:50.000 So I've been trying to bring books back in the episode.
00:03:52.000 So I've been reading this, and I want to talk about it.
00:03:54.000 It's just a collection of his essays.
00:03:55.000 It's really good.
00:03:57.000 But that's why it's on the table.
00:03:58.000 But, uh...
00:04:02.000 Eugene Levy.
00:04:04.000 So, speaking of Jerry Todd, SCTV, I grew up with SCTV in Canada, and the quality was just fucking shockingly good.
00:04:13.000 Catherine O'Hara, who co-writes, I believe, Schitt's Creek with Eugene Levy, she wrote a sketch called Halfwits, which was Jeopardy, but
00:04:25.000 The stupidest people in the world.
00:04:27.000 So there's questions like, uh, articles of clothes.
00:04:30.000 I'm sorry, articles of, yeah, articles of clothing found in the bedroom.
00:04:35.000 And like, uh, a parka, Alex?
00:04:38.000 And Eugene Levy's getting more and more frustrated.
00:04:41.000 Yeah.
00:04:41.000 John Candy's so good in this.
00:04:43.000 Oh, Joe Flaherty's awesome.
00:04:45.000 Uh, a job.
00:04:46.000 I have a job.
00:04:50.000 She has a spider tattooed to her face.
00:04:57.000 How long do we get?
00:04:57.000 I don't know.
00:04:58.000 That's why it's like it's ice.
00:05:01.000 And I wanted to play a song to begin the show and discuss the song.
00:05:05.000 This week we've had a theme which is soft acoustic numbers done by hardcore bands.
00:05:11.000 We've had Dagnasty, Husker Du.
00:05:14.000 Who was the first one?
00:05:18.000 I just closed the thing.
00:05:20.000 Let me see.
00:05:21.000 Zen Arcade!
00:05:22.000 No, that was... Damn it!
00:05:24.000 The first band was Zen Arcade!
00:05:26.000 So we had Husker Du, Dag Nasty, and Zen Arcade.
00:05:29.000 No, Zen Arcade was the Husker Du album, you putz.
00:05:33.000 Can you switch the viewfinder here?
00:05:40.000 Um...
00:05:42.000 But I'd love to play a song and talk about it as we do on The Real Show, but we can't do that because of the YouTubes.
00:05:48.000 I hope you're seeing how grey the world is when we let the censors dominate.
00:05:53.000 I hope you're seeing the lack of humour that's going on here.
00:05:58.000 You know what I found out speaking of... Wait, wait a minute, I'm on too many tangents, so let's go back a bit.
00:06:02.000 So, show a little more half-wits.
00:06:07.000 Maybe if you flip it?
00:06:11.000 I mean, does anyone own this at this point?
00:06:18.000 I don't even remember this part.
00:06:22.000 Martin Short, the way Martin Short looked like a complete imbecile with this character is, and I read this in his autobiography, he blackened the bottom half of his two front teeth to make his teeth look shorter.
00:06:37.000 Brilliant move.
00:06:38.000 Idiots have short teeth, for sure.
00:06:39.000 Idiots have short teeth.
00:06:40.000 Some short-toothed idiot walked into the club.
00:06:43.000 Anyway, that's Eugene Levy to me.
00:06:48.000 Right?
00:06:48.000 Alpha male.
00:06:49.000 Hilarious dude.
00:06:51.000 You know why SCTV was so funny in a high production, by the way?
00:07:02.000 Canada's full of grants, it's communist, and this improv troupe, I think it was Second City obviously, they get told they can have their own show over in Winnipeg, which is so fucking cold that when you meet people from Winnipeg it's like seeing a Pearl Harbor vet and you just go like...
00:07:23.000 You nodded them.
00:07:24.000 You were a survivor of the coldest fucking winters on earth.
00:07:29.000 And the worst summers in the springs.
00:07:31.000 The mosquitoes there.
00:07:32.000 Kids ride mosquitoes to school.
00:07:34.000 They hold on to their legs and they ride them to school.
00:07:39.000 And so a TV studio, which is funded by the government,
00:07:44.000 And Winnipeg said, yeah, come on down.
00:07:46.000 You can do a show here.
00:07:47.000 So they have like sets and green screens and fucking soap opera sets and a subway train and prosthetics and makeup and everything they need.
00:08:00.000 It's kind of a once in a... I'm not even going to say lifetime.
00:08:04.000 It's a once in a culture's history moment where some fantastically equipped TV studio gives a random bunch of clowns a studio and they make an incredible show.
00:08:17.000 Anyway!
00:08:18.000 This is going to get us booted off YouTube, but I'm watching Eugene Levy.
00:08:23.000 I'm going to try to be as politically correct as I can with this.
00:08:27.000 But Eugene Levy and Dan Levy hosted the SAG Awards, and I gotta be honest, it came across a lot more like the FAG Awards.
00:08:39.000 I couldn't resist.
00:08:40.000 I have Tourette's.
00:08:42.000 I didn't mean that, YouTube.
00:08:43.000 I'm sorry.
00:08:44.000 I'm sorry for that joke.
00:08:46.000 But SAG rhymes with FAG.
00:08:49.000 Can you resist?
00:08:50.000 Hey, censors who are about to kill my channel.
00:08:53.000 Say you're at a bar and you're talking about the SAG Awards and Dan Levy.
00:08:56.000 You think you could avoid that rhyming slang?
00:09:00.000 That Cockney slang?
00:09:01.000 Anyway, go ahead.
00:09:03.000 ...from actual hosts.
00:09:04.000 That's true.
00:09:05.000 Number one, we will not be reappearing throughout the show.
00:09:08.000 And two, we aren't being paid.
00:09:10.000 That's also true.
00:09:11.000 Although SAG actually offered me an internship credit and a free flu shot, so... Oh!
00:09:17.000 That's wonderful.
00:09:17.000 I can't move over his lap because he's gay.
00:09:19.000 Good!
00:09:20.000 Yeah.
00:09:21.000 Now tonight, actors celebrate the craft of acting and get to push their talent to the limit.
00:09:28.000 Is he doing a His Dad impression?
00:09:30.000 Why are there faces?
00:09:32.000 Did they do Coke right before this?
00:09:34.000 I don't know.
00:09:35.000 Doing Coke with your son?
00:09:36.000 Didn't you do Coke with your grandpa?
00:09:39.000 Uh, no.
00:09:41.000 That was another family member.
00:09:42.000 My grandfather would never touch coke.
00:09:44.000 Who was the family member you did coke with?
00:09:46.000 Ah, you know.
00:09:47.000 So these guys are gay, huh?
00:09:49.000 You're not- I'm an open book on my show.
00:09:51.000 You're not an open book?
00:09:52.000 No.
00:09:53.000 Why do you get to be a closed book?
00:09:54.000 Well, it's like, uh, you know, I can't speak for the chapter, but you know, I can tell you what I- I can't see you.
00:09:59.000 Why are you talking and I can't see you?
00:10:00.000 I could tell you the things that I was involved with, but I'd rather, you know, I got nothing bad to say.
00:10:04.000 Still can't see you.
00:10:05.000 The club, the family.
00:10:06.000 I got nothing bad to say about the family, you know what I mean?
00:10:09.000 But when I was in there, we had a great time.
00:10:11.000 And you know the impression I'm doing?
00:10:13.000 Yeah, you're doing a Matty O'Dell.
00:10:14.000 That's correct.
00:10:15.000 Who is our next free speech.
00:10:18.000 Nice pivot, rye guy.
00:10:20.000 That one pretty.
00:10:21.000 Look, if someone is remotely Puerto Rican, they do coke with their entire family.
00:10:26.000 But let's, so let's go back to that clip.
00:10:30.000 I didn't mean to talk about this.
00:10:31.000 I don't know.
00:10:49.000 Like Chadwick Moore is our gay friend, right?
00:10:52.000 And when he came out to his southern dad... Find Dan Levy and Eugene on some other show like Ellen or something.
00:10:52.000 Yes.
00:10:59.000 Yeah, yeah, I got that.
00:11:02.000 When he came out to his dad in the South, his dad went...
00:11:08.000 And then he did what 99.9% of American dads would do, which is, you're bummed, not for years, you're bummed for a normal amount of time, like maybe a minute, and then you go, and then he said, well, I guess I'll tell you what I told your sister, which is, if anyone fucks you over, breaks your heart, I'll kick the shit out of them.
00:11:29.000 And then he said, Why are you gay?
00:11:34.000 But Chadwick doesn't act gay.
00:11:36.000 So all it is, is the act that in the privacy of their own homes, when you're not there, and you're like, I don't care.
00:11:44.000 I don't want to hear about you fucking your wife or your girlfriend.
00:11:48.000 What if, like, it's just as interesting to me that my, you know, son's wife, my son fucks his wife in the butt.
00:11:57.000 Like, I don't want to know about that, right?
00:12:00.000 So that's just your sex life.
00:12:02.000 But what about when your sexual preference subsumes your persona and you adopt the mannerisms?
00:12:11.000 Now, isn't it like... Who's this clown?
00:12:15.000 Don't cut ahead of me.
00:12:17.000 Isn't it like you have a son and he goes, Hi, Dad.
00:12:23.000 You should probably know something now.
00:12:25.000 You know, I'm an adult.
00:12:26.000 I am darkish.
00:12:29.000 And I have Turkish traditions and I love Turkey.
00:12:32.000 I also am a huge fan of Kazakhstan, but you have to understand Turkey is very secular.
00:12:38.000 We have a rich history.
00:12:40.000 And you're like, I don't really have a problem with Turks, but so now you're Turkish?
00:12:45.000 Don't you guys make shitty Star Wars and shitty E.T.
00:12:47.000 and stuff and eat food that's like a bunch of plates?
00:12:51.000 All right.
00:12:52.000 Well, I don't relate to that.
00:12:55.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:12:56.000 Yeah.
00:12:57.000 This is like an accent.
00:12:58.000 This is the most delicate homophobia I can muster.
00:13:02.000 You know what it is?
00:13:02.000 Just that's different.
00:13:03.000 But just be honest with me.
00:13:05.000 I got in a lot of trouble for that transphobia article.
00:13:09.000 But I was like, let's just be honest.
00:13:11.000 Like your dad comes in.
00:13:13.000 One day your dad's your dad.
00:13:15.000 And then the next Thanksgiving, he has tits, and a blonde wig, and his name's Clarice, and he's dating... I don't know, do they... I always get confused with, like, their sexual preference.
00:13:25.000 And he's dating a man named Jerry.
00:13:28.000 So Jerry's, like, your new... dad?
00:13:32.000 And say he's had the full sex change, right?
00:13:36.000 No, let's do it correctly.
00:13:38.000 How does it work?
00:13:40.000 You gotta put one finger through.
00:13:41.000 How does it work?
00:13:43.000 When you make a- We used to do this in grade school.
00:13:46.000 I think you need two hands.
00:13:48.000 I do have two hands.
00:13:49.000 Uh, two pairs of hands.
00:13:51.000 Oh.
00:13:52.000 Like, you go vertical, I go horizontal.
00:13:55.000 Are you trying to seduce me?
00:13:56.000 You put your- I put my hands like that, and then you put your hands like this.
00:13:56.000 No, no.
00:13:59.000 Alright!
00:14:00.000 Yeah, let's try it.
00:14:00.000 Do you want to be the pussy?
00:14:21.000 That should be behind the paywall.
00:14:24.000 I lost my train of thought, but... Dad comes over... Oh yeah, see?
00:14:31.000 He's had the full sex change.
00:14:33.000 And then you're just like, Hi!
00:14:35.000 You can't call him Dad anymore, right?
00:14:37.000 Hi!
00:14:39.000 Jen?
00:14:42.000 And everyone's okay with that?
00:14:43.000 No, you'd be freaked the fuck out.
00:14:45.000 You'd cry your eyes out, actually, let's be honest.
00:14:49.000 Um...
00:14:50.000 Some other people do other things.
00:14:51.000 Let me say something in the gay defense.
00:14:55.000 If your daughter moved to China and started speaking Chinese, and you're only going to see her once a year, because the flight is so expensive, and she had Chinese kids and everything, and spoke Chinese and read Chinese newspapers, you'd be bummed, right?
00:15:12.000 No, I'm selling homophobia.
00:15:17.000 Hear me out.
00:15:19.000 So, I don't know.
00:15:20.000 I was watching Eugene.
00:15:22.000 I hate the way jackets crumple on the back like this weird turtle shell.
00:15:26.000 How do you stop that?
00:15:27.000 I guess you have good posture.
00:15:30.000 I'm watching Dan Levy.
00:15:33.000 Eugene Levy, Dan Levy, and his dad, and I'm just like, my son is not just a person who has a strange sexual proclivity, his entire personality is his sexuality, and it's different from mine, and he talks differently than me.
00:15:50.000 Is it also like a loss of culture?
00:15:55.000 Where if you're super Korean and then your kids sound American, you're like... Well here's the crazy thing about gays, Chinese gays are like... Like why?
00:16:10.000 Why are you gay?
00:16:11.000 Yeah.
00:16:12.000 I had a theory for a long time that Dan Levy is actually us.
00:16:15.000 Do you remember that cookie theory?
00:16:17.000 What do you mean?
00:16:19.000 Where I said, I said, like, because I was based on my dad, who, when I was a kid, would get shit-faced, and he'd pull up his blazer, and he'd be like, Oh, the true to grapevine.
00:16:30.000 How much longer will you be mine?
00:16:34.000 Honey, honey, yeah.
00:16:37.000 And he was, like, gay.
00:16:39.000 Like dancing around with his socks.
00:16:40.000 In the 70s, especially in Canada, people at parties danced in their socks.
00:16:45.000 So you got like black toes, like goofy toes from Disney.
00:16:52.000 Kind of feminine, because socks were stockings back then.
00:16:55.000 You know what else you'd see?
00:16:56.000 I remember as a kid being 10 and just going, I don't like this.
00:17:00.000 Drunk women, boomers, with tight jeans on.
00:17:05.000 And then brown nylon feet.
00:17:07.000 They'd wear brown nylons under their jeans.
00:17:09.000 So you'd see their weird like nylon webbed toes as they danced around to Steely Dan and fucking Dire Straits.
00:17:19.000 Smoked their pot that had seeds and twigs in it.
00:17:24.000 And then they would all fall asleep.
00:17:27.000 So I remember coming out when I was like, not gay, but coming outside of my bedroom at about, you know, midnight or 1 a.m.
00:17:36.000 And my living room looked like Auschwitz.
00:17:39.000 There was just like two or three dads talking and then just... 15, 20 people conked.
00:17:47.000 And the dads talking would have their wives asleep on their lap, just... And they'd be like...
00:17:54.000 I totally know what you mean.
00:17:55.000 The world is British, even though we're in Canada.
00:17:57.000 I totally know what you mean, Jimmy.
00:17:59.000 It's an absolute travesty.
00:18:02.000 Um, so anyway, sorry.
00:18:04.000 Back to my original point.
00:18:05.000 So, imagine you're Eugene Levy and this is your son.
00:18:09.000 Alongside you when Gilda left Second City Theatre and I got to be in the theatre with you.
00:18:14.000 This is Catherine O'Hara, the woman who wrote Halfwits, the funniest sketch of all time.
00:18:19.000 Oh, SCTV stands for Second City Theatre.
00:18:23.000 This is a crazy coincidence.
00:18:26.000 We just happen to be guest hosting the same week that our show, Schitt's Creek,
00:18:46.000 I don't think anyone watches Schitt's Creek.
00:18:50.000 They're doing great for publicity right now.
00:18:53.000 And I think 90% of the people who hear about Schitt's Creek go, I'm probably going to check that out at some point.
00:18:59.000 I wouldn't be surprised if I become kind of a Schitt's Creeker or whatever they're called.
00:19:04.000 But I'm probably going to become very big.
00:19:08.000 I'm a shitscreaker!
00:19:10.000 Start weaker!
00:19:12.000 Oh shit, we forgot to read our sponsors.
00:19:14.000 Ah.
00:19:15.000 Yes, of course.
00:19:16.000 I didn't even ask what they are.
00:19:19.000 I'm a shitscreaker!
00:19:22.000 What song is that?
00:19:25.000 Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar.
00:19:27.000 Heartbreaker!
00:19:29.000 Hi, my son.
00:19:33.000 Cosmopolitan on the rocks?
00:19:35.000 Can I say that in 2019?
00:19:37.000 Yeah, you can.
00:19:38.000 It's unique.
00:19:39.000 That's a unique answer.
00:19:40.000 And, uh, what's your favorite scent?
00:19:42.000 Anything, like, woody.
00:19:44.000 Like a burnt wood.
00:19:45.000 Like a cedar or a pine.
00:19:47.000 Something woody.
00:19:47.000 Anything woody?
00:19:48.000 I bet.
00:19:49.000 I should have saved that from behind the paywall.
00:19:54.000 This is gonna be a... This is a hate screed.
00:19:58.000 You're now among the likes of... Kevin Hart.
00:20:02.000 Tracy Chapman.
00:20:05.000 Tracy Chapman.
00:20:07.000 He's got a fast car.
00:20:10.000 Everyone has a fast car.
00:20:11.000 What are you talking about?
00:20:13.000 Every car has the ability to speed up.
00:20:14.000 He's got a fast car.
00:20:16.000 What, can your car go up to 200 miles an hour?
00:20:18.000 Every single car in the world goes way faster than you would ever need.
00:20:22.000 Or ever want.
00:20:23.000 200 miles an hour is... petrifying.
00:20:28.000 It's like at the gym today they had, good times, bad times, you know I have my share.
00:20:34.000 But my woman left home for a brown eyed man and I still don't seem to care.
00:20:39.000 What?
00:20:41.000 Your chick dumped you?
00:20:42.000 Yeah, that's not the worst part.
00:20:44.000 What's the worst part?
00:20:46.000 He had brown eyes.
00:20:51.000 What the fuck are you talking about, Robert Plant?
00:20:54.000 Your girlfriend left you for a guy?
00:20:56.000 Okay, that sucks.
00:20:57.000 I feel really bad for you.
00:20:58.000 You probably weren't paying attention to her though.
00:21:01.000 You were probably neglecting her and she went to someone else as a fuck you to you.
00:21:06.000 But let's give you the benefit of the doubt and just say she's a cunt.
00:21:09.000 Okay?
00:21:11.000 Why are you telling me his eye color?
00:21:14.000 He had brown eyes?
00:21:17.000 If you told me that your girlfriend left you for a guy with brown eyes, I'd think you're a gay homosexual.
00:21:25.000 Lunatic.
00:21:27.000 And it reminded me of... Here's what's happened.
00:21:29.000 Here's what's happened with that song.
00:21:34.000 Robert Plant is probably ripping off some blues classic we've never heard of.
00:21:37.000 And that has oodles of context.
00:21:55.000 So, I'm into that.
00:21:57.000 He's probably saying, like, I know we're supposed to feel bad when our, you know, post-slavery girlfriends hook up with a white guy, a blue-eyed man, but I'm happy here where I am, I don't need them, something like that, right?
00:22:12.000 I get that.
00:22:13.000 That's a statement.
00:22:15.000 I'm not saying it's good or bad or I give a shit about it, but it's a thing I understand.
00:22:20.000 So when Robert Plant ripped it off, he probably went, blue-eyed man feels queer.
00:22:26.000 Why would I know his eyes?
00:22:27.000 I'll just say brown-eyed man and then the people get that it's a black guy.
00:22:31.000 Which is a totally different thing.
00:22:34.000 Like a British person in the 70s going, you know, my girlfriend hooked up with a black guy.
00:22:40.000 I don't even care.
00:22:42.000 You go, okay, how brave of you?
00:22:45.000 I don't, it's kind of different from a 1935 bleeding melon gums saying my girlfriend hooked up with a plantation owner.
00:22:54.000 Explantation horn or whatever.
00:22:56.000 That's a slightly different story.
00:22:59.000 And it reminded me of, Brian and I were talking about this the other day, when you see movies, because I saw Get Out on TV the other day.
00:23:07.000 And it was all like, motherfucker was mother flipper, and fuck you was fudge you.
00:23:12.000 All the voices were the real voices, by the way.
00:23:15.000 Which means the actors sat there in a sound stage going,
00:23:19.000 What are you mother flipping out of your mind?
00:23:22.000 The pineapple ones really?
00:23:23.000 Oh no, the best one is this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
00:23:26.000 Are we gonna get in shit for this too?
00:23:28.000 By the way, the GQ thing I mentioned earlier, a Navy SEAL went through like American Sniper and all these different military movies and the movies took up the whole screen and it was on YouTube.
00:23:40.000 Yeah, Jocko Willinks, was that the guy doing it?
00:23:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:43.000 Yep.
00:23:44.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:23:45.000 I don't- I don't know.
00:23:46.000 I gotta text our podcast guy and tell him what readings I'm supposed to do.
00:23:51.000 Hand me the keys, you fucking cucksucker.
00:23:52.000 Hand me the keys, you fairy godmother.
00:23:55.000 You fairy godmother.
00:23:56.000 Fairy godmother.
00:23:57.000 You fairy godmother.
00:23:59.000 Wait, why are you making it so fast?
00:24:00.000 Oh, I did that just in case we played a song.
00:24:01.000 But, hold on.
00:24:02.000 You that beauty scar tough guy eating pineapple?
00:24:03.000 Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!
00:24:15.000 Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.
00:24:18.000 Mr. Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.
00:24:21.000 That's exactly the same as my woman left home for a brown-eyed man and I still don't seem to care.
00:24:28.000 Go ahead, bitches.
00:24:31.000 Sleep with brown-eyed guys.
00:24:33.000 You think I give a fuck?
00:24:35.000 You see what happens, Larry?
00:24:37.000 You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the air?
00:24:40.000 You see what happens, Larry?
00:24:42.000 You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?
00:24:46.000 That's a really good dub.
00:24:47.000 When you find a stranger in the Alps, you say, you assume they speak English because Scandinavian countries are great with English, and you say, are you okay?
00:24:55.000 Um, you take them to safety.
00:25:00.000 All right, let's talk about Johnny Apple CBD.
00:25:01.000 I use Johnny Apple CBD every day.
00:25:03.000 Johnny Apple helps me recover from all of my boxing workouts.
00:25:07.000 It gives me the best sleep of my life.
00:25:10.000 I think we have a more modern one of these.
00:25:14.000 I've been talking all day.
00:25:17.000 Please go to JACBD.com.
00:25:21.000 Don't you have the shirt?
00:25:22.000 I do.
00:25:23.000 The problem is we're too dapper to have the shirts on on the show.
00:25:28.000 But maybe you could just show the shirt to the camera.
00:25:32.000 When you use promo code GAVIN, you get 20% off.
00:25:39.000 Wait, that's not a good one.
00:25:40.000 Oh, that's true.
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00:25:58.000 And you will have the best sleep of your life.
00:26:00.000 Go to JACBD.com and use promo code Gavin.
00:26:04.000 Show the sponsors some love, but more importantly, show yourself some love and feel great.
00:26:08.000 I love these products.
00:26:09.000 Visit JACBD.com, use promo code Gavin, and treat yourself.
00:26:13.000 Ooh, I feel like booze.
00:26:16.000 You feel like booze?
00:26:17.000 I must have some booze.
00:26:20.000 There is booze.
00:26:21.000 Hey, look.
00:26:22.000 No, there isn't.
00:26:23.000 You don't have booze.
00:26:24.000 There's strawberry flavored.
00:26:25.000 Oh, fun.
00:26:26.000 Cause I use the tinctures like literally every day.
00:26:30.000 I really do.
00:26:30.000 You see me do it.
00:26:31.000 Yeah.
00:26:32.000 You don't need to use literally there.
00:26:33.000 I, when you said every day, I went probably uses them every day.
00:26:38.000 Literally every day.
00:26:39.000 All right.
00:26:40.000 It's figuratively.
00:26:41.000 Uh, Johnny DSI, Johnny.
00:26:44.000 Okay.
00:26:45.000 That's the reads we have to do.
00:26:47.000 Um, this is a really fun book.
00:26:50.000 I've been trying to discipline myself to read more because I was kind of getting in a TV rut and staring at my fucking phone rut.
00:26:58.000 And when I fix my life, I want to help you fix your life.
00:27:01.000 So here's two things I've done that have helped me quite a bit.
00:27:05.000 One, don't charge your phone next to your bed.
00:27:10.000 Now you're falling asleep.
00:27:11.000 Ryan is very guilty of this, by the way.
00:27:12.000 I am.
00:27:13.000 Now you're falling asleep, looking at shit, letting it control your brain.
00:27:17.000 When you look at your phone before you go to sleep, you're not letting your thoughts control your dreams.
00:27:24.000 You're letting, oh my God, you're letting your phone control your dreams.
00:27:29.000 So you inevitably dream about the last few things you saw there and they're a bunch of bullshit.
00:27:33.000 You should be lying in your bed thinking about your own shit.
00:27:38.000 Your own stuff.
00:27:39.000 Your own ideas.
00:27:40.000 Then you fall asleep thinking about that.
00:27:43.000 Then when you wake up, you've just had a bunch of dreams.
00:27:46.000 Think about your dreams for a little while.
00:27:49.000 What was that about?
00:27:51.000 Why was I fucking Ryan's mom the whole time?
00:27:54.000 That might not have been a dream.
00:27:57.000 She's a big fan.
00:27:59.000 Oh, that's a dream like Martin Luther King.
00:28:02.000 I have a dream.
00:28:03.000 I have a dream.
00:28:06.000 That man will be judged!
00:28:08.000 And you're like, I have a dream too.
00:28:10.000 I want to fuck my friend's mom.
00:28:13.000 The whole crowd's just so uncomfortable.
00:28:15.000 No, this is at a party.
00:28:17.000 He's like, I have a dream.
00:28:19.000 I want people to live and love each other.
00:28:22.000 I want to get like a fucking I want to have like my own washer dryer in my own apartment.
00:28:27.000 So I don't have to go downstairs.
00:28:33.000 Am I being unfunny?
00:28:35.000 I got it.
00:28:36.000 I'm on mushrooms where I could just go on a bad trip at any moment.
00:28:41.000 Anyway, and the other thing when you wake up,
00:28:44.000 Your dreams are relevant, right?
00:28:46.000 So you want to think about your dreams for a bit.
00:28:48.000 There's a butthole surfer song called 22 going on 23 where this woman calls into a show and they turn it into a song and she goes, I have these dreams and I try to turn out a winner, but I just can't do it.
00:29:02.000 And it's based on a true psychiatric thing where if you're in your dream and you're like getting beat up by people or something, and you're getting semi-coherent, um,
00:29:15.000 Get back in it and beat them all up.
00:29:17.000 Like come out a winner.
00:29:18.000 That's what, how people get happy.
00:29:20.000 So a lot of manic depressive they discover are people who have dreams where they lose and they allow themselves to lose.
00:29:27.000 Anyway, when you have your phone there, you don't get part of this cleansing.
00:29:32.000 Like taking a shit in the morning happens in your brain too.
00:29:35.000 So go to bed without your phone, wake up without your phone.
00:29:38.000 And as far as reading goes, this is crazy, but try to read 10 pages a night.
00:29:45.000 Now, inevitably, what happens is you start on page 13, and you don't stop at 23.
00:29:51.000 You might go to 50, 60, 70.
00:29:54.000 But if you force yourself to have 10 pages, you will end up reading a lot.
00:30:01.000 It'll bring reading back into your life.
00:30:03.000 Now, Charles Kramer, this book, The Point of It All, it's just a collection of essays, and it's a great little, like, snack.
00:30:09.000 Like, we don't get too deep with this.
00:30:11.000 Mark Stein is deep.
00:30:16.000 Mark Levin is deep.
00:30:18.000 Those books change your life.
00:30:21.000 But it can be a little too intense sometimes.
00:30:23.000 And if you're just trying to get back into reading after a large break, get a collection of essays like this and just read 10 pages.
00:30:30.000 I promise you, you'll read more.
00:30:32.000 Oh, and here's another thing.
00:30:33.000 I learned this from a French guy.
00:30:35.000 who did a big campaign about 10 years ago about reading where he said, stop thinking you have to read everything perfectly from the first page to the last page and answer questions.
00:30:45.000 That's bullshit we got brainwashed with from school.
00:30:48.000 It's like a record.
00:30:49.000 Unless it's fiction and there's some dumb story, you can kind of leap around.
00:30:53.000 Like this is a perfect example of that.
00:30:55.000 It's a bunch of essays where I was reading a bunch of obituaries at the beginning and I was like, I don't like obituaries.
00:31:00.000 Stop kissing these people's ass.
00:31:02.000 And then I jumped over to what's great about Australia.
00:31:06.000 So you can just sort of indulge yourself.
00:31:09.000 Yeah.
00:31:11.000 Yeah, says Ryan who hasn't read more than a fucking fortune cookie in two months.
00:31:16.000 No, I read the Bible the other night.
00:31:18.000 Job.
00:31:19.000 No, and you really helped me learn that because I will always zone out and then be like, I have to reread it.
00:31:23.000 And now you're just you're punishing.
00:31:24.000 Why am I punishing?
00:31:25.000 Yeah, don't punish yourself.
00:31:26.000 If you zoned out for three pages, those pages sucked.
00:31:30.000 Fuck those pages.
00:31:31.000 That's a that's very come back in again.
00:31:34.000 It's like music.
00:31:35.000 If you're listening to music and you go winded, holy shit, I missed a part of those lyrics.
00:31:39.000 Yeah, fuck it.
00:31:42.000 It's all healthy for you.
00:31:44.000 You're eating healthy food.
00:31:47.000 I'm so fucking pugilistically dimensioned that I got his message about what we read today.
00:31:53.000 Um... Oh yeah, there was an email.
00:31:57.000 And I have to write it down.
00:32:01.000 I now pronounce you man... and with a... I pronounce it weird.
00:32:09.000 Uh... Oh, I discovered a new thing at the gym today.
00:32:14.000 You can kind of tell what the coach is doing with certain fighters, like with their regimen after they warm up, and they'll do like four stairs for heavy bag or whatever, right?
00:32:25.000 So you hit the heavy bag for one round, and then for one round you run up and down the stairs.
00:32:30.000 So uh you can predict after three rounds of stairs they're gonna have to do another one and then it'll probably be just like the double-ended bag push-ups and and crunches.
00:32:41.000 So I've been going up to fighters who are professionals and just being like
00:32:45.000 Okay, I think that's one more round of stairs, and then we're good to go.
00:32:50.000 Just abs, push-ups, double in the bag.
00:32:53.000 Actually, let's do stairs, double in bag, and then push-ups and abs, and you're good to go, my friend.
00:32:59.000 Give him an ass slap.
00:33:00.000 Go ahead.
00:33:02.000 Yeah, I love talking to people I'm not supposed to be the way I'm, like, you know.
00:33:09.000 Like, hey boss, you know, go deuce.
00:33:14.000 It's uncomfortable, but can I try it?
00:33:16.000 Okay, it better get funny at some point.
00:33:18.000 I'm gonna need that on my desk on Monday.
00:33:21.000 Ain't nobody got time for that!
00:33:32.000 Is that good?
00:33:38.000 Speaking of ruining the show, um, there's a lot of controversy with my fight with Ryan last week.
00:33:44.000 A lot of people said I was out of line.
00:33:46.000 Um, Ryan here has a case to present that it was his headphones I was hearing.
00:33:52.000 Yes.
00:33:54.000 Why don't you present your case right now?
00:33:56.000 Well, let's see if I can pull it off.
00:33:58.000 Well, why is my case gay?
00:34:01.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:02.000 Your headphones have to stay in your head, my friend.
00:34:04.000 Oh, okay.
00:34:06.000 So, one is on your sideburn and one is not.
00:34:12.000 Yeah, this one I usually have it like that, yeah.
00:34:15.000 Oh wait, how do I play the song with that?
00:34:17.000 You can't look at me while I do this.
00:34:18.000 I won't look.
00:34:20.000 Wait, I can't look at you or the people at home can't look at you?
00:34:23.000 See how it's echoing that?
00:34:24.000 Alright, I have to mute you guys.
00:34:32.000 Wow, you're fucking up your defense.
00:34:34.000 What are you, Donald Trump?
00:34:35.000 I can't do this experiment because we echo back.
00:34:41.000 I could do it.
00:34:43.000 No, I can't do it.
00:34:44.000 I can't do it because I mute our channels when I'm putting them up.
00:34:46.000 Okay, so in other words, I was still right as of now.
00:34:49.000 No, but before the show.
00:34:50.000 You did not present sufficient evidence.
00:34:52.000 However, our other fight was with that Elmo guy.
00:34:57.000 Yes, another win for me.
00:34:59.000 The Elbow Mumble Rapper, where I claimed he was serious, and he thought he was inventing a cool kind of rap, and you said it's a joke.
00:35:10.000 Yes, his name is... Darkus?
00:35:14.000 Darkus.
00:35:15.000 Now you claim you have a stultifying piece of evidence that is going to prove to me that he's kidding and I'm an idiot for insisting that he was not kidding.
00:35:25.000 Yes.
00:35:27.000 Now, we'll see.
00:35:29.000 I gotta find this guy.
00:35:30.000 It was a couple days ago, 245AR.
00:35:31.000 Why wouldn't you look up Elmo Rapper?
00:35:36.000 And by the way, printer, why are you printing out a blank page?
00:35:39.000 Get your shit together.
00:35:40.000 Okay, so I got his, uh, this is the guy, right?
00:35:47.000 Um, have it all started.
00:35:49.000 Remember the, should I catch him up on the original thing?
00:35:52.000 Yeah, catch him up on the original thing.
00:35:53.000 Okay.
00:35:54.000 Is this gonna get us banned?
00:35:56.000 I don't know if he's litigious.
00:35:57.000 If it's on YouTube, can't we show it?
00:36:01.000 Darko.
00:36:02.000 He's got... I think that's, uh... What's his name?
00:36:06.000 From Wu-Tang Clan.
00:36:08.000 Cuban Lynx.
00:36:10.000 Really?
00:36:10.000 Raekwon.
00:36:12.000 With an Ewok.
00:36:22.000 He might be litigious, so... That looks pretty serious to me.
00:36:26.000 My argument within the video is that he shows Elmo a lot, and then he also shows... He has... Goku.
00:36:35.000 He has a, uh, his logo is the Sesame Street logo.
00:36:39.000 Yes.
00:36:40.000 But that could still all be serious.
00:36:42.000 This is my... Okay, let's see your case.
00:36:44.000 ...tipping point.
00:36:47.000 Evidence.
00:36:59.000 Wait for it.
00:37:08.000 Okay.
00:37:13.000 So, what I think is that he knows it's ridiculous, but he's leaning into it.
00:37:21.000 I think he got me.
00:37:22.000 Yes!
00:37:23.000 Because I didn't think you were convinced before.
00:37:25.000 I think he got me.
00:37:26.000 Yes!
00:37:28.000 I was wrong.
00:37:30.000 That guy is kidding.
00:37:32.000 Yes.
00:37:32.000 He gets the joke and he's not seriously trying to be a really successful high-pitched Elmo rapper.
00:37:40.000 Correct.
00:37:41.000 He's actually seems like a really funny guy.
00:37:43.000 Yes.
00:37:43.000 And someone you'd want to hang out with.
00:37:45.000 It's a bunch of like kiddy stuff and like intentionally goofy.
00:37:49.000 Almost like odd future-ish.
00:37:51.000 Yeah.
00:37:51.000 That's what I should have said instead of bumble rap guy.
00:37:56.000 Um, you know what I want to do?
00:37:57.000 I want to take some calls before the paywall, but I also want to answer some letters.
00:38:03.000 We had a rough letters day yesterday where everything was about Nick Fuentes and tips on the show.
00:38:10.000 Like, you should probably get Chuck Zito.
00:38:14.000 Yeah, I'd fucking strangle my mother to death to get Chuck Zito.
00:38:18.000 Thanks for the suggestion.
00:38:19.000 We're not looking for suggestions.
00:38:21.000 I don't like the way it's Ryan's back when you show that.
00:38:25.000 I don't give a fuck what you like or don't like.
00:38:28.000 Do you not like it when you watch Home Improvement and the neighbor's face is skewed by a fence?
00:38:35.000 This is our stylistic choices.
00:38:38.000 So fuck you if you don't like them.
00:38:40.000 And also, fuck you if you don't go to BetDSI.com slash Gavin right now.
00:38:46.000 Why choose BetDSI?
00:38:47.000 Because I use BetDSI.
00:38:50.000 I win and I love it.
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00:38:56.000 Use your sports knowledge to make some extra cash this week.
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00:39:00.000 BetTSI has a very user-friendly interface and mobile site and BetTSI takes slash pays out Bitcoin as well as cash.
00:39:08.000 Speaking of Bitcoin, I got an alarming email the other day that someone has been watching me watch porn.
00:39:16.000 They're disgusted by my choices.
00:39:19.000 Which is basically all the heterosexual trailers on kink.com.
00:39:25.000 And if I don't send them $5,000 in Bitcoin, they will contact all of my contacts, which they've also hacked into, and show them not just me looking at these things, but what I do when I look at these things.
00:39:40.000 And they're holding that... They're holding you hostage, basically.
00:39:43.000 Well, it took me like three hours to figure out how to get Bitcoin.
00:39:49.000 I finally got that and sent it to them.
00:39:52.000 And then I got four other emails right after that asking for another $5,000.
00:39:57.000 So I spent like $40,000 in a day, and I spent the whole day on the computer trying to avoid the fact that I may have occasionally looked at some boobs.
00:40:10.000 I think you were swindled.
00:40:13.000 I don't think so.
00:40:14.000 I also don't beat off spammers.
00:40:20.000 New members get a 120% bonus match using promo code GAVIN.
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00:40:27.000 I play at BetDSI and I recommend BetDSI if you want to win extra cash.
00:40:31.000 Once again, go to BetDSI.com and use promo code GAVIN and get this limited time 120% bonus offer plus a $25 free wager to test the waters.
00:40:41.000 Don't miss out and go make some extra cash betting this season.
00:40:45.000 It's only a game until you bet it at BetDSI.
00:40:51.000 What's that sound?
00:40:53.000 Supposed to be a stadium crowd cheering effect.
00:40:55.000 What do you think of this little trinket?
00:40:57.000 Yeah, what is that?
00:40:59.000 My wife went, we had some guests in town last week and my wife went shopping and she bought this, I guess, Indian bug.
00:41:07.000 She loves buying Indian shit.
00:41:08.000 Indian bug.
00:41:09.000 It's kind of cool how it reflects, right?
00:41:13.000 Yeah, what is it, a plastic thing?
00:41:16.000 That looks cool.
00:41:19.000 This is also an Indian bug.
00:41:21.000 Oh, before we get to the mail, I was reading this Harvey Weinstein thing that was on the cover of the Post today, right?
00:41:29.000 I had assumed this was a given, but if you get raped, call the cops.
00:41:41.000 I remember I was reading in Maximum Rock and Roll this columnist Michael Borde.
00:41:46.000 This must have been like 1989.
00:41:49.000 And he said, and this will probably get back to him because we travel in the same circles, but he said in a column,
00:41:57.000 Rape is just assault, but sexual.
00:42:01.000 You've been raped in your genitals.
00:42:04.000 So the only reason that we treat it differently is because of the sexual stigma that we have.
00:42:13.000 We live in a prudish society.
00:42:15.000 And so we go, oh my God, there's been a rape.
00:42:19.000 She lost her chastity.
00:42:20.000 She's no longer a valuable woman.
00:42:22.000 If we didn't have all that bullshit, virgin prudism, then we wouldn't have that same kind of hysteria around rape.
00:42:33.000 And we just treat it as an assault.
00:42:35.000 And I read that as a 19 year old and I was like, that's fucking basically true.
00:42:42.000 So I went over to my dad, as a 19-year-old does.
00:42:44.000 Every time a 19-year-old has a thought that's slightly outside the box, they go to their dad and they're like, I know you think I'm stupid, and I haven't contributed anything to society yet, and you're smarter than me, but what about this idea?
00:42:56.000 And then you blow their mind with something like, smoking is actually good for you.
00:43:00.000 So I blew my dad's mind with that one.
00:43:03.000 I go, so rape is basically assault, and the stigma around sexuality is what makes it so fucked up.
00:43:12.000 Ready for him to go, holy fuck, son.
00:43:15.000 You've done some research, pal.
00:43:17.000 You've read an 800-word article in a punk zine.
00:43:21.000 Wow.
00:43:23.000 So what he actually said was, oh, really?
00:43:26.000 All right, do us a favor then, son.
00:43:29.000 Go out and get the shit kicked out of you.
00:43:31.000 And then go out and get raped.
00:43:33.000 And tell me which one is worse.
00:43:36.000 That's pretty good.
00:43:38.000 Alrighty, I guess you won that round.
00:43:41.000 Back to the drawing board, because you can beat me up for a Fortnite.
00:43:46.000 You can play Fortnite for real on my face, and it doesn't hold a candle to a stranger's penis in your butt.
00:43:57.000 Anyway,
00:43:59.000 I'm reading these, so they have accuser number one, accuser number two, accuser number three.
00:44:03.000 He's got like hundreds.
00:44:05.000 And I don't want to sit here and defend Harvey Weinstein, because I don't know all the cases.
00:44:09.000 But let's just do this on a case-to-case basis.
00:44:11.000 Forget Harvey Weinstein and speak, you know, almost hypothetically about the law.
00:44:17.000 So, accuser number one, Annabella Sciorra.
00:44:20.000 Sciorra, who was raised in Brooklyn, met Harvey Weinstein in the early 90s at an L.A.
00:44:23.000 restaurant, L.A.
00:44:24.000 industry event.
00:44:25.000 He drove her home and gave her his card.
00:44:28.000 Sometime later, she sent Weinstein a script her friend wrote.
00:44:31.000 He said, uh, I love it.
00:44:33.000 We'll do it if you're in it.
00:44:34.000 Okay.
00:44:35.000 There's Larry David's manager.
00:44:37.000 Uh, he sent a care package containing movie tapes, a bunch of presents, a bottle of Valium.
00:44:42.000 Whoa.
00:44:43.000 It's very Cosby-esque.
00:44:45.000 She became part of the Miramax Circle, attending events and dinners.
00:44:48.000 In the winter of 93-94, she was at a dinner with Weinstein and Irish Restaurant, and he offered to drive her back to her apartment in Gramercy Park.
00:44:55.000 Everything's fine so far.
00:44:57.000 She went upstairs and changed into her nightgown when Weinstein suddenly started knocking on her door, she claims.
00:45:02.000 He allegedly grabbed her, pushed her onto the bed, and raped her.
00:45:07.000 Then, allegedly, forcibly performed oral sex on her.
00:45:12.000 God, someone loves the smell of their own dick.
00:45:15.000 Spooky!
00:45:16.000 In 1997, she appeared in the mirror.
00:45:20.000 Okay, so that's what happened that night.
00:45:25.000 This is textbook definition rape.
00:45:27.000 I mean, you said it and raped her.
00:45:29.000 Gotcha.
00:45:30.000 Loud and clear, Sir Earl.
00:45:31.000 Call the fucking cops.
00:45:33.000 We have a rape on our hands.
00:45:38.000 I had a fight with my wife about this.
00:45:40.000 I go, shouldn't there be some culpability with these women?
00:45:42.000 If you get raped by someone, um, and you don't call the cops, you're facilitating further rapes.
00:45:49.000 You don't know how hard it is.
00:45:50.000 I don't know.
00:45:53.000 There's 620,000 deaths in the Civil War.
00:45:57.000 We've been through some rough shit.
00:45:58.000 Go through some rough shit.
00:45:59.000 Some fucking thugs come up to me in an alleyway and go, and sewing machines stab me with a knife.
00:46:06.000 It's not gonna be hard to go to the police.
00:46:10.000 I'm gonna go to the police.
00:46:13.000 Yeah, but she's been violated and she was friends with him.
00:46:16.000 Yeah, it sucks.
00:46:17.000 I'm sorry, it sucks.
00:46:18.000 You're preventing rape.
00:46:21.000 Be a hero.
00:46:22.000 Anyway, the end of this, it says, in 1997, she appeared in the Miramax movie Copland, but prosecutors said she didn't realize it was a Weinstein project.
00:46:29.000 This happened in 1994.
00:46:29.000 She finally came forward in 2017.
00:46:31.000 Oh, yeah.
00:46:39.000 Okay, this by the way is the best one of the three.
00:46:42.000 Accuser number two.
00:46:44.000 This one's a doozy.
00:46:45.000 She's blacked out.
00:46:47.000 Man was raised on a small dairy farm in Washington State and left home when she was just 16 after enduring a difficult childhood.
00:46:54.000 At 25 she moved to- I don't give a fuck.
00:46:57.000 Like why is this in a court?
00:46:59.000 Also, if you're a judge,
00:47:02.000 For the real rapes, you go, this is what I signed up for, this is why I have a robe.
00:47:06.000 If someone has a bullshit rape, you go, get the fuck out of here.
00:47:09.000 You're wasting our court's time.
00:47:11.000 I'm here for real shit, and you're trivializing.
00:47:14.000 It's like when you call someone a Nazi, you're trivializing the Holocaust.
00:47:18.000 When you say a bad day at the opera is rape, you're trivializing rape.
00:47:23.000 At 25, she moved to L.A.
00:47:25.000 with dreams of being an actress.
00:47:26.000 She'd already had a few small parts in commercials and independent films when she met Weinstein at a party.
00:47:31.000 Okay, that's nice.
00:47:33.000 She gave him her number and the two started a five-year relationship that ended in 2017.
00:47:36.000 Hmm.
00:47:39.000 She's 25 and she's with Harvey Weinstein.
00:47:43.000 Bitch, are you for real?
00:47:49.000 Good timing.
00:47:50.000 Thanks.
00:47:51.000 Um, she alleges that he raped her on March 18th, 2013 at a Doubletree Hotel in Midtown.
00:47:58.000 One of the lower quality hotels available in Midtown.
00:48:01.000 The next day, she attended the premiere of the movie August, Osage Country, as Weinstein's guest.
00:48:11.000 How dare you!
00:48:12.000 How dare you!
00:48:21.000 I am beyond angry!
00:48:22.000 There you go, comedy comes in threes.
00:48:25.000 Isn't that, I mean, am I nuts?
00:48:26.000 Ryan, you have no cognitive abilities.
00:48:29.000 You're like a shrimp who became a human three days ago.
00:48:33.000 What do you think?
00:48:34.000 Jackhammers are allowed.
00:48:39.000 You don't go to a movie premiere with the guy who raped you the next day.
00:48:45.000 Maybe it's like to study his behavior.
00:48:46.000 What if the guy beat the shit out of you?
00:48:48.000 And you show up at the movie premiere going, hey, this guy has a temper on him, boy.
00:48:53.000 Holy shit.
00:48:55.000 Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
00:48:58.000 Wow.
00:48:58.000 I was like, no, I didn't.
00:49:00.000 I didn't spill your beer.
00:49:01.000 It was the guy behind me.
00:49:02.000 But he's like, I'm not having it anyway.
00:49:04.000 We're cool now.
00:49:05.000 And even if you did do that, and you were like, we're cool now, you can't charge him with assault.
00:49:12.000 This is not a good episode to not get kicked off of YouTube, by the way.
00:49:16.000 This is a little controversial.
00:49:18.000 First we defended homophobia, and now we're defending Harvey Weinstein.
00:49:23.000 I'm going to defend liberals soon, if that helps.
00:49:25.000 Oh, there's your dad.
00:49:30.000 That's not a good... I don't think we can use that sample, dude.
00:49:33.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:49:35.000 What if I overdub it?
00:49:36.000 I was just gonna say that, yeah.
00:49:37.000 But when you overdub it, instead of, nothing wrong with that, say, nothing chickens, mother flipper.
00:49:45.000 Nothing baseball hat.
00:49:47.000 This is what you get when you fuck a chick in the Alps!
00:49:51.000 So beautiful.
00:49:52.000 Accuser number three, Mimi Haley.
00:49:55.000 They're all the same type, too.
00:49:58.000 Incredibly hot brunette eights.
00:50:01.000 Middle one's dark.
00:50:03.000 She's really dark.
00:50:04.000 I like black chicks.
00:50:07.000 This is Alex Way.
00:50:10.000 What's her name?
00:50:11.000 That model that they love in Vogue.
00:50:14.000 Oh, is it a black model?
00:50:16.000 Yeah, Ryan, that's my joke.
00:50:17.000 Okay, I got you.
00:50:19.000 What booze do you have here?
00:50:22.000 Peanut, he literally has peanut whiskey.
00:50:24.000 Why don't you bring out your peanut whiskey?
00:50:25.000 Yeah, a fan, a really cool guy keeps giving us this.
00:50:28.000 Keeps giving us this?
00:50:31.000 You know, if you come to my house and you see my liquor cabinet, it's all the shit that I haven't devoured.
00:50:36.000 So it's like going to a coke head's house and saying, what drugs do you have?
00:50:41.000 Uh, we have, uh, Asconadua.
00:50:43.000 I'm not drinking anything.
00:50:45.000 No!
00:50:48.000 Look at this.
00:50:49.000 Screwball!
00:50:52.000 Peanut butter whiskey.
00:50:54.000 This is exactly the same as having no whiskey.
00:50:58.000 I don't want this.
00:51:00.000 So my liquor cabinet is all like this.
00:51:03.000 It's like screwball whiskey, apple brandy, fucking peach scotch.
00:51:14.000 Even rye.
00:51:16.000 It has no fun to it.
00:51:19.000 Like, bourbon has some... John and Alex gave this to us.
00:51:23.000 Okay, well, way to just ruin their fucking plug.
00:51:27.000 I've never sipped it.
00:51:28.000 I've smelled it and spent the next three days barfing.
00:51:31.000 Alright, Mimi Halei.
00:51:33.000 Halei met Weinstein in 2004 at London Film Festival.
00:51:36.000 They reconnected again in May 2006 when she ran into him at a Cannes Film Festival and asked him for a job.
00:51:41.000 He invited her to meet him at his hotel the following day and set her up as a production assistant on the set of Project Runway.
00:51:48.000 That is a fucking low favour.
00:51:52.000 A production assistant on Project Runway?
00:51:55.000 What is that?
00:51:55.000 That's the McDonald's of Weinstein favours.
00:51:59.000 It's probably 20 bucks an hour.
00:52:02.000 And it's probably 12, 13 hour days.
00:52:05.000 The Project Runway does not have a budget.
00:52:09.000 They shoot the whole thing in like four days.
00:52:12.000 Anyway, he later invited her to join him on a private jet to attend Fashion Week in Paris and stay at the Ritz, but she declined.
00:52:21.000 Okay, so he's courting her.
00:52:24.000 On July 10th, 2006, Weinstein invited her to his Soho apartment where she alleges that he pushed her into a bedroom and forced oral sex on her.
00:52:33.000 Rape.
00:52:34.000 We got it.
00:52:35.000 Call the cops.
00:52:35.000 Immediately.
00:52:37.000 Days later, here's what pisses me off.
00:52:41.000 Days later, and if you've been raped, real life rape, this should piss you off, too.
00:52:47.000 Days later, she accepted a free plane ticket from Weinstein to visit a friend in L.A.
00:52:53.000 Well, you just, that's, now you're a high, uh, very expensive prostitute.
00:52:58.000 We can rape you for, uh, I guess 3,000 bucks?
00:53:03.000 That's what that says.
00:53:04.000 No?
00:53:05.000 How is that different from prostitution?
00:53:09.000 It's like the Michael Jackson thing where the parents would accept a 20 million dollar payout if he, uh, after he fucked their kid.
00:53:17.000 They're just very expensive pimps.
00:53:19.000 Allegedly.
00:53:21.000 You're on Michael Jackson's side?
00:53:23.000 I just don't want his guys coming after us.
00:53:25.000 Who?
00:53:26.000 It's the state.
00:53:28.000 It's the state.
00:53:29.000 They get litigious.
00:53:30.000 And being good at it, if you will.
00:53:32.000 Do they get litigious?
00:53:33.000 Yeah.
00:53:34.000 They must be very busy.
00:53:36.000 The Michael Jackson... You're just pulling this out of your ass.
00:53:40.000 The Michael Jackson estate is very litigious about pedophilia accusations.
00:53:45.000 Jesus Christ, that poor lawyer must have... must have... what's that called?
00:53:48.000 Carpal tunnel syndrome.
00:53:49.000 Please stop calling him a pedophile.
00:53:51.000 Please stop calling him a pedophile.
00:53:52.000 I don't know whether he did it or not.
00:53:55.000 So wait a minute, you said they were litigious, now you're saying you don't know if he did it or not.
00:54:01.000 I don't, well, I don't know.
00:54:03.000 Well, you haven't looked into it.
00:54:04.000 He did it.
00:54:04.000 Well, I did.
00:54:05.000 I saw that documentary, I saw some other things, I just don't know.
00:54:08.000 And then Ricky Rebel went on Milo Show and he was like, he never did anything bad.
00:54:12.000 Yeah, just because he didn't fuck every single kid who's ever met him doesn't mean he's not a pedophile.
00:54:17.000 It means he's an underachiever.
00:54:18.000 Well, you know, Ricky was a good looking kid.
00:54:24.000 On July 10, 2006, blah blah blah.
00:54:26.000 Okay, so she accepted a free plane ticket from Weinstein to visit a friend in LA.
00:54:30.000 When she returned, she met up with Weinstein, this time inside his Tribeca hotel room, where the producer bullied her to have sex with him.
00:54:38.000 What the fuck does that mean?
00:54:40.000 Bullied her to have sex with him.
00:54:42.000 And, uh, you said he raped you, and then you accepted a plane ticket, and then you went to his Tribeca hotel room?
00:54:50.000 She continued to communicate with him until 2017.
00:54:56.000 This is, uh, I know there's no perfect victims, but I think we're dealing with some of the most imperfect victims in the history of imperfect victims.
00:55:05.000 Alright.
00:55:05.000 Michael Jackson's nephew sued tabloid for defamation over sexual abuse claims.
00:55:09.000 Okay.
00:55:13.000 Um, I wanted to take a time out before we get into the letters to talk about the right being a little too sensitive.
00:55:21.000 I am not a fan of Yashar Ali.
00:55:24.000 I personally believe, if we're talking about people being litigious, that he's one of these fat immigrants who comes here and just bitches.
00:55:33.000 He's from Iran.
00:55:34.000 He's a fat homosexual.
00:55:36.000 He comes here and he bitches about homophobia in Iran.
00:55:39.000 He bitches about homophobia in America and how horrible both countries are, even though we rescued him from a fucking Muslim shithole.
00:55:48.000 And brought him here, and I would just, I think a more reasonable stance would just be limitless thank yous.
00:55:55.000 But, I think a lot of immigrants come here, and they see us all shitting on our own country, so they want to assimilate, so they go, oh yeah yeah, fuck America.
00:56:04.000 Like this?
00:56:05.000 Like this?
00:56:06.000 Fuck America?
00:56:07.000 Okay, yeah yeah.
00:56:08.000 So he's one of those.
00:56:09.000 Anyway.
00:56:11.000 Um, there's, what's her name, the new InfoWars chick who, uh, became famous at her prom when she posed with a gun, which I think is awesome.
00:56:20.000 Caitlin Bennett.
00:56:20.000 Caitlin Bennett.
00:56:21.000 Wonderful gal.
00:56:22.000 Does great interviews.
00:56:23.000 Really cool chick.
00:56:25.000 Um, someone impersonated her.
00:56:27.000 This guy who, who continually impersonates all kinds of people.
00:56:32.000 In fact, I think on Martin Luther King Day, he posed as the FBI.
00:56:35.000 And when I say pose, I mean, he maintains his, his, uh,
00:56:40.000 His alias, like his name, Jaboukie, or whatever it is, and then he'll have, he'll change his name to FBI that day, and then have an FBI logo.
00:56:49.000 And he says something about Martin Luther King, like, we love and respect him, except when we're killing him.
00:56:54.000 Anyway, he, he trolled Caitlyn Bennett one day, where, um, now I sent this to you separately, because it was hard to find, where, uh, he used her picture, and her name, and said, uh,
00:57:11.000 Uh, I shit myself?
00:57:13.000 Something like that?
00:57:15.000 I lost control of my bowels?
00:57:17.000 Yeah, so let's show it.
00:57:19.000 Hillary lost the election, I lost control of my bowels, but at least I have an AR-15.
00:57:23.000 I'm guessing what the cutoff part is.
00:57:25.000 It's really hard to find these tweets.
00:57:27.000 Um, you know what?
00:57:28.000 Yeah, I shit myself.
00:57:30.000 This is America.
00:57:31.000 Last time I checked, it wasn't illegal to boo-boo yourself.
00:57:35.000 If even Obama couldn't erase my right, a little Zuzu can either.
00:57:39.000 I'm a blue-eyed, blonde-haired, gun-toting, Trump-voting American, even if I had a poo accident.
00:57:46.000 Um, so... She didn't say that.
00:57:51.000 Yashar Ali was one of the many.
00:57:53.000 He's an MSNBC contributor guy.
00:57:56.000 And he thought it was awesome.
00:57:57.000 He said, God bless Chibuki.
00:57:58.000 So then our guys, my friends, our allies, started freaking out about it and saying it was revenge porn or violated revenge porn laws.
00:58:10.000 And go down on this.
00:58:12.000 Go down on this pussy.
00:58:15.000 Go up again.
00:58:15.000 Go up again.
00:58:18.000 Huffington Post contributor Yashir Ali deleted a tweet, blah blah blah.
00:58:22.000 Go down more.
00:58:24.000 His shared image of Bennett is described as revenge porn.
00:58:28.000 Ali, who I love, Ali is not Yashir Ali, that's our guy.
00:58:33.000 Yashir Ali is spreading literal political disinformation, targeted harassment, and identity theft.
00:58:37.000 Additionally, this violates Twitter terms of service, social violation, blah blah blah.
00:58:43.000 Now I want to be clear here, Ali I consider a close friend.
00:58:47.000 Awesome dude.
00:58:48.000 If you scroll down you'll see Cernovich, Cassandra Fairbanks, all bitching about this guy, Jack Posobiec.
00:58:56.000 Cernovich, these people I've had a million beers with and I love having beers with them.
00:59:01.000 Cassandra too?
00:59:02.000 Cassandra, my Christmas card to her just bounced back.
00:59:05.000 I guess I got her address wrong.
00:59:07.000 But I don't want to become like the left.
00:59:11.000 I don't want to become a comedy censor.
00:59:13.000 When you read that stuff about her shitting herself, it's not porn, it's not revenge porn, it's clearly a joke.
00:59:21.000 When Trump says, I grab a woman by the pussy, it's clearly a joke.
00:59:25.000 I don't like Yashir Ali.
00:59:27.000 I don't like Jaboukie.
00:59:29.000 The joke, Caitlyn Ben is someone I revere, so I don't like jokes about her shitting.
00:59:34.000 But I don't want them quelled.
00:59:35.000 I don't want them stopped.
00:59:37.000 I don't want them censored.
00:59:40.000 Here's another example of us, our side, being pussies.
00:59:45.000 Um, and I'm not calling Jack or Cassandra a pussy.
00:59:49.000 I'm gonna drink this rye.
00:59:50.000 This is like, um... No problem, Gav.
00:59:53.000 This is like... Thank God.
00:59:56.000 I was like, yeah, it was a bomb.
00:59:59.000 That was good.
01:00:00.000 This is like, um, like Maker's Mark or even bullet, uh, bourbon.
01:00:07.000 Without any of the fun.
01:00:08.000 It's like fucking, I assume if you're a woman, it's like fucking an ugly dude with a big dick.
01:00:14.000 Like, it gets the job done.
01:00:17.000 But you're just like, meh.
01:00:18.000 I got a glass, you want a glass?
01:00:20.000 No, it's not about the glass.
01:00:21.000 This is just... It's just, like, bare bones.
01:00:25.000 Why did you buy this, by the way?
01:00:26.000 Uh, I don't know.
01:00:27.000 I brought it home from something.
01:00:29.000 It was, like, some leftover.
01:00:30.000 I was just like... Why'd you bring it into the studio?
01:00:33.000 Well, yeah, I just... I just... It was around the corner.
01:00:37.000 I do most of my partying in the city.
01:00:38.000 I don't have a need for it, you know, anywhere else.
01:00:41.000 It's been there for a while, but alcohol don't go bad.
01:00:43.000 And you've taken some zips of it before.
01:00:46.000 Frankly!
01:00:47.000 Alright, I'm not... I'm never having a zip again.
01:00:50.000 Do you know Italians call each other zips?
01:00:52.000 In a negative way?
01:00:53.000 I've never heard that.
01:00:54.000 Fuckin' zips everywhere.
01:00:55.000 So I walk into this fuckin' bar in South Brooklyn.
01:00:57.000 Of course it's all fuckin' zips.
01:01:00.000 It's like Italians saying the n-word, I guess.
01:01:04.000 Also, sig-siggies or jeeps.
01:01:06.000 Never heard that before.
01:01:07.000 Probably cause I'm not Italian.
01:01:08.000 Fuckin' zips.
01:01:10.000 Friggin jeeps.
01:01:12.000 It's like when you talk about your own people in a negative way, which whites are very good at.
01:01:17.000 Anyway, this Biden gaffe I want to talk about briefly before we get into letters.
01:01:22.000 I thought we would make this a short show, but it's becoming a long show.
01:01:25.000 Maybe we'll make the calling part short.
01:01:28.000 So yeah, some annoying dude at CBS is like, hey, hey, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
01:01:35.000 In a really irritating way, right?
01:01:37.000 I hate Joe Biden, just to be clear.
01:01:38.000 I hate his guts.
01:01:40.000 Why wasn't his apology enough, Mr. Vice President?
01:01:42.000 He apologized for saying that I was corrupt.
01:01:44.000 He didn't say anything about whether or not I was telling the truth about Social Security.
01:02:04.000 Like, why is the right freaking out about that?
01:02:07.000 That's actually one of the more likable things he's ever done.
01:02:09.000 There's a million gaffes.
01:02:11.000 The fucking, I know a lot about roaches and kids jumping on my lap.
01:02:14.000 That was, and then smelling people's hair.
01:02:16.000 That was embarrassing.
01:02:18.000 The 11 year old one, this is the one that you didn't know about, but he, like he, there was like a talk and then he was like, how old are you, honey?
01:02:24.000 11?
01:02:24.000 Talk to me after the show.
01:02:26.000 In what world?
01:02:27.000 That's pretty bad.
01:02:28.000 Is that okay to say?
01:02:29.000 That's pretty bad.
01:02:30.000 What context could make that?
01:02:31.000 Wanting to fuck 11-year-olds is a gap, I guess.
01:02:33.000 On his behalf, I tried to... It's also a felony.
01:02:36.000 I tried to think of some kind of way to... If that was me and I said that, what did I mean?
01:02:40.000 What else could I have meant?
01:02:41.000 I meant like, come backstage, talk to me, let me get all your numbers and everything.
01:02:47.000 So then in six years, when you turn 18, I can find you and say, are you single?
01:02:52.000 I'm of course 78 now.
01:02:55.000 But yeah, some guys are like, why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
01:02:59.000 And you go, why, why, why, why, why?
01:03:00.000 Like I'm not, I have a new rule.
01:03:03.000 I used to play dirty pool.
01:03:04.000 I have a new rule.
01:03:05.000 I'm not taking low hanging fruit anymore.
01:03:09.000 So if, if their side may, before we do the last, uh, before we bid adieu to the free part on YouTube, um, I want to read some letters and maybe even take some calls.
01:03:24.000 What do you think of that?
01:03:25.000 I like it.
01:03:27.000 I like it.
01:03:27.000 Oh, is that an impersonation of me?
01:03:31.000 Yeah.
01:03:31.000 This is like earlier in the point clear, I left my desk and walked away.
01:03:36.000 And as I was walking past Ryan, he's totally confused.
01:03:39.000 And he goes, you have to go poo.
01:03:44.000 That's true.
01:03:45.000 I did say that.
01:03:47.000 But you were nowhere near the bathroom.
01:03:49.000 Imagine you saw someone walking in a direction and you just went, you have to go poo.
01:03:57.000 Yep.
01:03:58.000 I did that.
01:03:59.000 I'm ashamed I did that.
01:03:59.000 Wow.
01:04:02.000 Ryan, shut up.
01:04:03.000 You don't have a dad.
01:04:06.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:04:12.000 Let me touch it.
01:04:18.000 Oh, shit.
01:04:18.000 I got a whole bunch of new ones.
01:04:22.000 That's what shops.
01:04:24.000 Jesus, we get like 100 a day.
01:04:25.000 Yeah, we get a lot.
01:04:28.000 Okay, so I think I decided I only want to read the blue flags.
01:04:33.000 I started flagging them.
01:04:35.000 So this is not gonna be easy for you.
01:04:38.000 This is from January way back on January 21st.
01:04:42.000 Michael Hanlon.
01:04:47.000 What if I tell you the subject?
01:04:48.000 Will that be easier to follow?
01:04:49.000 Yeah.
01:04:50.000 The subject is position for pregnancy.
01:04:52.000 Gotcha.
01:04:53.000 G-Dog, I heard a caller a few months ago mention that you, at one time, explained a sexual position that was great for pregnancy.
01:05:00.000 However, he nor you elaborate on the details.
01:05:02.000 At the time of my call, my wife and I have been trying unsuccessfully for our second baby for almost 18 months now.
01:05:08.000 If you could explain the details of this magic position, it would be awesome.
01:05:11.000 Thanks, fellas.
01:05:13.000 Alright, this also might get us banned from YouTube.
01:05:16.000 Or get the table broken.
01:05:17.000 It's putrid.
01:05:23.000 And I don't think these pants go well with this blazer, but what I was actually talking about was, um, I said if you want to make a girl, first of all, if you want to have a baby, quit porn, stop beating off.
01:05:35.000 That's it.
01:05:37.000 Forget the schedule with the ovulating and all that stuff.
01:05:40.000 That's total BS.
01:05:42.000 Just quit porn and don't beat off and your wife will get pregnant.
01:05:46.000 The end.
01:05:47.000 If you're in the mood and she just... So no porn, no beating off.
01:05:50.000 Now, if you want to make a girl...
01:05:52.000 Just do whatever you want.
01:05:54.000 You can beat off on some junk mail that arrived at her house and you'll make a girl.
01:05:59.000 Boys, I don't know why, but the sperm is lazy.
01:06:02.000 Oh, here's me acting it out.
01:06:03.000 I didn't know I've done that.
01:06:05.000 So with boy sperm, you basically have to drop it off at the front door.
01:06:12.000 And the way you drop it off at the front door is standing doggy.
01:06:18.000 So you're not just doing doggy, right?
01:06:21.000 You're standing doggy.
01:06:23.000 Well, why don't we watch it?
01:06:25.000 And then when you're done, you go super deep, super deep, right?
01:06:34.000 You stand.
01:06:35.000 You don't do doggy on your knees.
01:06:36.000 You do standing doggy and you plunge down like you're unclogging a toilet.
01:06:41.000 And then when you're done, when you're done, you collapse on her.
01:06:49.000 Like a folding lawn chair.
01:06:51.000 And then you hold it there for like a minute.
01:06:54.000 Because male sperm, for whatever reason, is lazy.
01:06:57.000 And you gotta drop it off right at the front door.
01:06:59.000 You can tell how many times I repeat everything I say.
01:07:02.000 That was a carbon copy.
01:07:03.000 Well, that's how you know it's true, too.
01:07:05.000 Yeah.
01:07:06.000 You know what's weird?
01:07:06.000 I'm just making this up.
01:07:07.000 If they ever try that move, they're both going to be thinking of me.
01:07:11.000 That is very strange.
01:07:12.000 So I kind of ruined it.
01:07:13.000 And for the rest of their life, they're going to be looking at Boyd.
01:07:14.000 That's a fun game to do to a dude.
01:07:16.000 You go up to your friend, you go, by the way, next time you beat off, think about me.
01:07:21.000 It's really hard not to.
01:07:22.000 See my face floating over the bed.
01:07:24.000 See me.
01:07:25.000 Don't forget this moment.
01:07:27.000 Think about me.
01:07:30.000 It is a disaster.
01:07:32.000 It's a plunging downward standing doggie, and then you collapse on her like a folding lawn chair, and then you stay there.
01:07:38.000 1-1000-2-1000-3-1000.
01:07:39.000 Fuckin', you got time.
01:07:43.000 20 seconds.
01:07:44.000 Just stay there.
01:07:45.000 On top of her.
01:07:46.000 And that's how you make boys.
01:07:48.000 That's true.
01:07:49.000 If you wanna make... If you wanna make babies... Uh... Then you, uh...
01:08:01.000 Uh, just quit porn.
01:08:03.000 Wait, I'm forgetting my own code here.
01:08:05.000 What did red flags mean?
01:08:08.000 Never read.
01:08:10.000 Really?
01:08:11.000 I don't know.
01:08:12.000 Well, I would just delete it if I don't want to ever read it.
01:08:14.000 Oh, now we're frozen.
01:08:15.000 Let me see if I got some over here.
01:08:20.000 Oh, there we go.
01:08:21.000 Um, no, red should mean we've already read it.
01:08:26.000 Yeah.
01:08:27.000 Okay, let me do another blue.
01:08:29.000 And then I'll make this red.
01:08:30.000 Sorry folks, you have to listen to me doing my homework.
01:08:36.000 Wait, that's red now.
01:08:38.000 I've read it.
01:08:39.000 And it works, because red sounds like red.
01:08:44.000 Gavin and Proud Boy's Straw Man on Bones.
01:08:50.000 Hey guys, check out this episode of Bones, Season 11, Episode 12, The Murder of a Meninist.
01:08:55.000 There is a men's group called Men Now, and the leader is killed.
01:09:00.000 Then, the new leader was saying stuff like, if you dress like a whore, then you deserve to be raped.
01:09:07.000 Yeah, because that's the way men talk in 2020.
01:09:12.000 That must go back to like fucking 1940 maybe?
01:09:17.000 Can you even imagine a guy going, well she was raped, but what kind of pants was she wearing?
01:09:22.000 Were they short shorts?
01:09:25.000 And yeah, she was raped while wearing short shorts.
01:09:32.000 Fuck.
01:09:33.000 I can't watch it.
01:09:34.000 Think about when we watch, you know, pop videos with Lady Gaga.
01:09:37.000 They're all fucking naked with meat on their tits.
01:09:40.000 The idea of someone going, well, what was she thinking?
01:09:44.000 Not wearing a long dress.
01:09:47.000 Anyway, but they go to a women for change rally and apparently there's been some heated Twitter exchanges with the head feminist and apparently it was the men's group who were stalking her to restaurants.
01:09:59.000 Do you think this relates to the Proud Boys or is this another famous men's group?
01:10:03.000 Thanks, Patrick.
01:10:04.000 My wife watches.
01:10:06.000 Oh, he's defending himself because he says, wait, how'd you find this?
01:10:10.000 I looked it up on YouTube and they wanted a hundred bucks for me to buy the whole season.
01:10:14.000 Jesus.
01:10:16.000 This is on Hulu.
01:10:17.000 Hulu?
01:10:21.000 Sounds like a good start.
01:10:25.000 It's one of my favorite subjects, by the way, me.
01:10:30.000 That's not you.
01:10:35.000 I love the budget these, uh, these investigative units get.
01:10:40.000 The MIPD must watch this and go, uh, can we have a 4,000 square foot crime lab?
01:10:46.000 I have a huge crush on her, by the way.
01:10:49.000 Not her.
01:10:59.000 You know what I think might be going on here?
01:11:01.000 I think I'm one of the only interesting people in modern pop culture besides like Milo and stuff.
01:11:08.000 So I keep making my way into their stories and they're so overwhelmed by my interestingness, there I am, that they have to exaggerate even further to sort of like, I don't know, nullify me and make me, I don't know, irrelevant or not serious.
01:11:26.000 You're the Joker!
01:11:28.000 Yeah, I'm the Joker.
01:11:29.000 The what?
01:11:30.000 She's reading a script, mocking me, and I'm in love with her.
01:11:55.000 That's an inn.
01:11:56.000 I could threaten to sue her and then meet her at the court trial and be like, can you believe this shit?
01:12:01.000 You wanna go get lunch?
01:12:04.000 Look at this.
01:12:06.000 I think she's Hawaiian.
01:12:07.000 This is a video posted by the victim.
01:12:08.000 What's that Hawaiian doing?
01:12:09.000 These so-called feminists are nothing but a bunch of lesbonese man-haters and the reason they're always screaming about their reproductive rights is to distract us from their real plot, which is getting rid of the male species.
01:12:25.000 Oh, good lord.
01:12:26.000 Yeah.
01:12:27.000 Uh, yeah.
01:12:28.000 What a crazy, exaggerated thing.
01:12:31.000 I mean, what?
01:12:34.000 I've never had a thought anything remotely like that.
01:12:41.000 That sucks when someone does a parody of you and you go, that's perfectly accurate.
01:12:47.000 But you know what else someone sent me?
01:12:48.000 Speaking of my favorite subject, Chuck Palahniuk has a new book out starring Gavin McInnes.
01:12:57.000 Spelled G-A-V-Y-N, but the last name is M-C-I-N-N-E-S.
01:13:04.000 Yeah, and I'm some like Nazi asshole who's secretly gay.
01:13:09.000 Oh yeah, Gavin Baker McInnes.
01:13:12.000 Yeah.
01:13:16.000 So I'm at my... Wait, there's references to Lester Maddox, Lothrop, Stoddart, Paula Deen, and Richard Spencer.
01:13:23.000 Great, thanks Chuck.
01:13:25.000 Weird.
01:13:25.000 I believe Ashanti is my psychiatrist in this.
01:13:27.000 Oh, this might get us banned too.
01:13:49.000 Gavin undid the belt, the top button, and pulled down the zipper.
01:13:52.000 Okay, I don't think I can say this on free YouTube.
01:13:57.000 But, uh, basically he gets an- does an- the next two paragraphs are an in-depth, um, uh, uh, description of me fellating my psychiatrist.
01:14:10.000 Who's a guy?
01:14:11.000 Yes.
01:14:12.000 Oh.
01:14:12.000 With- with details about the- the taste of the hee-haw that shoo-shoos.
01:14:16.000 Sheesh.
01:14:19.000 And you think, like, what's your motive there?
01:14:25.000 Like, are you trying to... Oh, I guess he thinks I'm a homophobe, so I'm gonna see that and go, you son of a bitch!
01:14:32.000 He hired a security guard.
01:14:33.000 He's like, this is going to be big.
01:14:34.000 Yeah, it's so petty.
01:14:35.000 It's sort of like Sacha Baron Cohen, the dude from Oasis, fucked with Sacha Baron Cohen once at a party.
01:14:43.000 And he said to Sacha Baron Cohen, Liam Gallagher said, who do you think is the greatest?
01:14:48.000 I can't do a northern English accent very well.
01:14:51.000 Who do you think is the greatest pop star of all time?
01:14:55.000 And Sacha Baron Cohen said, John Lennon?
01:14:58.000 And Liam Gallagher goes, Fucking me!
01:15:03.000 I'll cut your fucking eye out!
01:15:06.000 Alright, he's drunk.
01:15:07.000 Sacha Baron Cohen became obsessed with that because he's a fucking pussy.
01:15:12.000 So he made a whole movie lampooning Liam Gallagher because of a rude comment at a bar one night.
01:15:20.000 And it's actually a really good movie to watch with your kids.
01:15:23.000 The Brothers Grimsby.
01:15:24.000 The Brothers Grimsby.
01:15:41.000 Is this new?
01:15:42.000 No, it's old.
01:15:43.000 It's a Brothers Grimsby and then Grimsby.
01:15:43.000 It bombed.
01:15:48.000 I didn't know there was two of them.
01:15:53.000 No, this is one.
01:15:54.000 Yeah, it's the same movie.
01:15:57.000 Oh, it's not a sequel.
01:15:59.000 Alright, anyway, let's do the last letter, then we'll wrap it up.
01:16:02.000 Jesus, I meant to make this a short episode.
01:16:08.000 Ready?
01:16:09.000 This this is murder prediction from Patrick.
01:16:13.000 Hey fags!
01:16:14.000 That's... I don't like that term.
01:16:16.000 It's mean.
01:16:17.000 Have you heard of the Instagram account, Another Beautiful Day Official?
01:16:20.000 It's run by an enormous douche who has tattoos all over his body and face, many of which are large, lame, inspirational quotes.
01:16:29.000 He thinks he's very deep and he's a joke in and of himself, but there's more.
01:16:33.000 He and his girlfriend, who's maybe a seven, do you subtract points for dating a retard?
01:16:38.000 Again, a term we do not, when we're on YouTube, think is okay.
01:16:43.000 Travel all around the world and take pictures in exotic locations for Instagram.
01:16:47.000 Do you need this?
01:16:48.000 Yeah, there we go.
01:16:50.000 They recently got a bunch of shit online for asking fans to help fund their trips.
01:16:56.000 The dude revealed the fact that his mom has been working two jobs to fund their vacations.
01:17:04.000 He said something about how getting a job himself was not an option because he had to continue going on adventures and inspiring people.
01:17:13.000 Somebody said, get a damn job.
01:17:16.000 Dude, look at all the comments.
01:17:18.000 This is hilarious.
01:17:19.000 Oh, he needs to inspire people to insult him.
01:17:22.000 As if his stupid Instagram posts were some kind of public service.
01:17:26.000 They are about it somewhere.
01:17:28.000 Ryan might want to look these up.
01:17:30.000 The douche and his girlfriend are now riding a tandem bike down into Africa.
01:17:33.000 I'm not sure what they think their final destination will be, but I have a feeling it will be a sandy grave in a shithole country.
01:17:41.000 Wow, this guy's quality.
01:17:43.000 Um, I've been checking in on their Instagram story, and I recently started seeing a lot of burkas.
01:17:47.000 They say people have tried to swindle and steal from them, but they act surprised and disappointed by it, not angry and stupid.
01:17:54.000 I don't think they know the languages of the places they're traveling through, but they ask strangers for a place to sleep.
01:17:59.000 In a recent story, they talked about how they just knocked on someone's front door in the middle of the fucking desert.
01:18:05.000 Imagine being an angry Muslim in the desert and opening your door to some grinning doofus
01:18:11.000 With foreign symbols all over his face and some blonde chick next to him and not knowing what they're saying.
01:18:22.000 The woman and children at the house were welcoming, but the man wasn't pleased.
01:18:26.000 No shit.
01:18:28.000 They had to... He's saying no shit, by the way.
01:18:30.000 They had to camp outside the house, and at one point, some dude just opened their tent and started rifling through their shit.
01:18:35.000 Turns out it was a cop.
01:18:37.000 I can't believe this couple is making me sympathize with Muslims who murder tourists.
01:18:43.000 Right.
01:18:43.000 Yeah, I'm on their team for some reason.
01:18:44.000 I'm on their side.
01:18:46.000 Allah Akbar.
01:18:47.000 Uh, they were allowed to stay, but said they heard a lot of concerned male voices throughout the night, and somehow they woke up alive.
01:18:55.000 Thought you might be interested.
01:18:56.000 Following their Instagram story, uh, can be suspenseful.
01:19:00.000 Yeah, they're dead.
01:19:03.000 All right, um... Trying to... This is all sideways, but... It's all Lex's and O's.
01:19:12.000 Where we can stay.
01:19:14.000 Is he British?
01:19:17.000 What, what, what culture is he?
01:19:18.000 What are you?
01:19:20.000 You guys are going to do great wherever, whatever Muslim war-torn country.
01:19:24.000 And oh, Morocco is pretty secular.
01:19:26.000 It's pretty safe.
01:19:28.000 First time riding in the dark since we're in Morocco.
01:19:31.000 Normally we try to find a place before sunset, but the 10K guy just told us turned into 20.
01:19:37.000 Morocco is perfectly safe, but, uh, it's near a lot of places that aren't.
01:19:43.000 You know what I want to check out is the Canary Islands next to Morocco.
01:19:47.000 Hmm.
01:19:48.000 It looks mad dope, yo.
01:19:52.000 So this is them outside the guy's house?
01:19:54.000 Now they're in the tent.
01:19:57.000 Then somehow Eli ended up getting a massage.
01:20:01.000 What?
01:20:03.000 Okay.
01:20:05.000 So, some dude's giving his chick a massage?
01:20:06.000 We're watching someone die.
01:20:09.000 We're watching a snuff film.
01:20:11.000 Are snuff films allowed on YouTube?
01:20:13.000 Uh, sometimes.
01:20:15.000 Alright, let's take some calls.
01:20:17.000 Um, actually, let's take a couple calls, and then we'll go behind the paywall.
01:20:22.000 Alright.
01:20:23.000 I can do something like that.
01:20:26.000 Get that fucking rye off my desk.
01:20:28.000 Alright.
01:20:29.000 We got Jim talking about religion.
01:20:32.000 Talking about religion, Jim.
01:20:34.000 What's up guys?
01:20:38.000 I just wanted, I don't think, I don't know about your viewers, I think it's about half and half are like religious people, the other half aren't.
01:20:45.000 But I was just kind of eager to hear like your story of coming from like an atheist and a famous, kind of a famous person coming from fame into the Catholic Church.
01:20:55.000 I've always been kind of interested to hear that story.
01:20:57.000 So.
01:20:58.000 Yeah.
01:20:59.000 Alright, well thank you for calling.
01:21:02.000 That sounded like shit.
01:21:04.000 I hope that's not all calls.
01:21:06.000 But how I got into Catholicism was just really a random drop of the pen.
01:21:11.000 I'm starting to think I may have made a mistake.
01:21:13.000 Maybe it should have been the Church of England or Judaism or even the Amish.
01:21:20.000 I was an atheist my whole life.
01:21:21.000 My daughter was born.
01:21:22.000 I've told the story a hundred times.
01:21:24.000 I looked at her heel.
01:21:26.000 When she was sleeping one night, when she was a baby, and I just thought that everything works here, and I was so overwhelmed by the magnificence of it all.
01:21:34.000 And I've heard a lot of, I've heard this from a lot of atheists who have kids, where they realize, wow, I'm looking up into the sky and that's infinite, that's unfathomable, and I just ignore that and take it for granted, yet I sit here on Earth, and I look at the infinite universe that created this planet,
01:21:52.000 And I try to shrug that off too as like, well, sharks have fins so they can swim around the water better.
01:22:00.000 It's all Darwinianism.
01:22:03.000 I definitely don't purport to that whole Ricky Gervais thing where every religious person thinks that everyone who doesn't follow their exact guidelines is going to hell.
01:22:13.000 So
01:22:14.000 By those rights, I just chose, like, the nearest one.
01:22:17.000 Sort of like the Mets.
01:22:19.000 Like, I got into baseball and I went, uh, the Mets?
01:22:22.000 So I'm definitely a deist.
01:22:24.000 I believe in God.
01:22:25.000 I think that's inarguable, that this miracle that is the universe and earth was created by some omnipotent force.
01:22:33.000 The way I convey that
01:22:36.000 ...is through Catholicism.
01:22:38.000 But it could be just as easily conveyed in the cargo cult, or the Amish, or Judaism, or a million other religions.
01:22:47.000 I think religion in general is just us grasping at straws, trying to convey the innate truth that there's something incredible out there.
01:22:57.000 And these fucking atheists like Howard Stern go, no I have spirituality, I just don't believe in your shit.
01:23:04.000 No, it's all the same.
01:23:07.000 All right, so that's not an atypical call, but let's take some more calls.
01:23:15.000 But before we do, we're going to close up the freeness.
01:23:18.000 Gotcha.
01:23:19.000 And before we close up the freeness, we're going to encourage you once again to go to Johnny Appleseed.
01:23:25.000 J-A-C-B-D dot com.
01:23:27.000 Johnny Appleseed.
01:23:29.000 Use promo code GAVIN and check out and get 20% off plus free shipping.
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01:23:38.000 Visit JACBD.com and support free speech.
01:23:42.000 You will not get high!
01:23:44.000 It's like the hemp stuff without the non-hemp-y stuff.
01:23:48.000 I mean, without the THC.
01:23:49.000 You're just going to feel as great as I do every day.
01:23:51.000 The tincture, delicious.
01:23:52.000 The topical ointment smells tremendous, feels amazing.
01:23:54.000 The gummies taste so great and help me sleep.
01:23:57.000 You use it every day, right?
01:23:58.000 I do.
01:23:59.000 The tincture, right here.
01:24:00.000 Well, there's no need to use racial epithets while we're doing a commercial.
01:24:06.000 The sphincters?
01:24:07.000 No, you said this chink here.
01:24:09.000 I said the tinctures.
01:24:10.000 I apologize.
01:24:11.000 I misheard you.
01:24:12.000 It's totally fine, but it's also not inaccurate.
01:24:15.000 JACBD.com.
01:24:16.000 You're not Chinese?
01:24:18.000 No, but I do play joke.
01:24:19.000 Watch your cokes!
01:24:22.000 Watch your cokes!
01:24:25.000 Dude, that would be funny if you did piss in someone's coke.
01:24:28.000 I couldn't.
01:24:28.000 As a joke.
01:24:29.000 I peed in my bully's beer, but that's about it.
01:24:32.000 Just because it had alliteration.
01:24:33.000 I peed in my bully's beer?
01:24:35.000 Let's end it with that.
01:24:37.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.