Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #34

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:37.000 Doesn't feel as good like that.

00:00:38.000 Kind of nervous.

00:00:41.000 Yeah.

00:00:43.000 You didn't look nervous.

00:00:45.000 I think I run out of things to talk about.

00:00:50.000 I think I ran out of things to say.

00:00:53.000 Hi, everyone.

00:00:54.000 Hi, America and Canada and Australia and a little bit of Britain.

00:00:58.000 Maybe some weird place like Brazil where some guy moved there and he fucking hates it.

00:01:03.000 And he watches this show to remind him of all the fun things.

00:01:07.000 I actually found that once when I was in England.

00:01:11.000 I was there for weeks.

00:01:12.000 I think it's when we were opening Vice UK or something, or maybe that pub, the old Blue Last.

00:01:17.000 But hearing a different accent all day, every day, oh, you're done.

00:01:23.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:01:23.000 Oh, yeah, no.

00:01:24.000 So what we're going to be doing is...

00:01:28.000 So I would go to the bathroom, like at a pub, and I'd be alone, and I'd say, Hello, how are you today?

00:01:35.000 The rain in Spain falls mainly.

00:01:37.000 And talk North American so I could hear a normal accent, because I got so fucking sick.

00:01:44.000 And I like the British accent, by the way.

00:01:46.000 All of them.

00:01:47.000 Wales, Scotland, upper class, lower class.

00:01:50.000 I love them all.

00:01:50.000 But nonstop, it starts to piss you off.

00:01:54.000 Fuck.

00:01:55.000 That's why I could never.

00:01:57.000 I don't get those guys who are married to someone with an accent.

00:02:00.000 I feel like that would bug me, especially some shitty country like Ukraine.

00:02:05.000 And she's like, Hi, I'm so glad that you're home.

00:02:09.000 We're making meatballs and schluchen tonight.

00:02:13.000 Oh, but I love meatballs.

00:02:15.000 Maybe we're making love later on.

00:02:17.000 Oh, my God.

00:02:19.000 One time I fucked this girl from Malta.

00:02:22.000 And as I was finishing, she says, Oh, you're coming in my pussy.

00:02:27.000 You're fucking guess-hole.

00:02:28.000 I cracked up.

00:02:32.000 Mid-orgasm.

00:02:34.000 Could you not?

00:02:34.000 Ugh.

00:02:36.000 What are you talking about?

00:02:37.000 They're like some.

00:02:39.000 Your wife's Glaswegian and you're boning her.

00:02:41.000 And she's like, Oh, that's fucking magic.

00:02:44.000 Go to give us another round of that.

00:02:44.000 So is.

00:02:46.000 Hope you're not going to come soon, by the way there, big man.

00:02:49.000 Because I'd like this for another at least five minutes in all.

00:02:53.000 You know, Europeans are usually open about their sexuality more.

00:02:59.000 So it takes kind of the fun out of it.

00:03:01.000 Yeah, good point, Ezra Levant.

00:03:02.000 It takes the fun right out of it.

00:03:05.000 Europeans are usually a lot more open about their sexuality.

00:03:08.000 You sounded exactly like Ezra Levant.

00:03:10.000 They're usually open about their sexuality.

00:03:12.000 Dude, Ezra's on fire.

00:03:13.000 Fire.

00:03:15.000 He's on fire.

00:03:16.000 Ezra is, you know what people don't get about Ezra Levant?

00:03:20.000 He's a redneck.

00:03:22.000 He grew up on a farm.

00:03:23.000 And he hadn't pissed, not in public.

00:03:29.000 How to piss in public?

00:03:31.000 Did I get that?

00:03:31.000 Until he was like 18.

00:03:34.000 So when he moved to the city, he would just take out his dick and piss.

00:03:38.000 And then if someone had a problem with that, he'd fight them.

00:03:41.000 So he fought?

00:03:43.000 He might seem like a chubby little innocuous Jewish man, but he's a brawling redneck.

00:03:49.000 Imagine him with a trucker hat on and some cud.

00:03:53.000 Chewing his cud.

00:03:54.000 Yeah.

00:03:55.000 That's who Ezra is.

00:03:57.000 Anyway, let's just do a quick, the week in review, maybe two weeks in review of Ezra Levant.

00:04:04.000 One, he writes a book about Justin Trudeau, the Zoolander prime minister, who is the stupidest, most useless prime minister.

00:04:12.000 And a great example of why I'm so sexist, why I'm such an anti-Femite.

00:04:17.000 You know how anti-Semites blame everything on the Jews?

00:04:19.000 I am irrational.

00:04:21.000 And I'm equally irrational as an anti-Semite, but it's women.

00:04:24.000 I blame everything on women.

00:04:26.000 And it's a handicap.

00:04:28.000 I'm not proud of it.

00:04:29.000 But women elected Justin Trudeau.

00:04:36.000 And he is a fucking clown.

00:04:38.000 Ben Stiller's character in Zoolander would be a better prime minister.

00:04:43.000 And why did women elect him?

00:04:45.000 Because he's a hunk.

00:04:46.000 He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

00:04:49.000 Melt in your mouth, delicious.

00:04:51.000 Mile high cheekbones.

00:04:53.000 Beast on lips.

00:04:54.000 Gorgeous.

00:04:56.000 His eyes are like swimming pools.

00:04:58.000 You could swim in.

00:04:59.000 I would fuck him.

00:05:00.000 Without a hesitation.

00:05:01.000 And if my wife found out, I'd go, It's Justin Trudeau.

00:05:04.000 Are you out of your mind?

00:05:05.000 How are you even mad right now?

00:05:07.000 She's just jealous.

00:05:09.000 If Justin Trudeau wants to fuck you, whether you're male or female, it's rape.

00:05:12.000 Because you don't have a choice.

00:05:14.000 That's how hot he is.

00:05:15.000 Look at that.

00:05:16.000 What if that guy was like, could I blow you?

00:05:18.000 Oh my God.

00:05:19.000 I'd start screaming help.

00:05:20.000 As I undid my pants.

00:05:22.000 Help!

00:05:24.000 Help!

00:05:24.000 This hunk is raping me!

00:05:26.000 The Westboro Baptist Church would give you a pass.

00:05:29.000 Well, he's cute.

00:05:31.000 God hates fags.

00:05:32.000 Gavin, by the way, was not a fag.

00:05:35.000 He had to let Justin Trudeau blow him.

00:05:37.000 I mean, look at him.

00:05:39.000 He actually is bi.

00:05:40.000 What?

00:05:41.000 Trudeau?

00:05:42.000 Yeah.

00:05:42.000 Ew.

00:05:43.000 There was a weird thing.

00:05:44.000 He was on some talk show way before he was prime minister.

00:05:47.000 And someone mentioned a threesome.

00:05:49.000 And he had this really creepy, careful what you wish for kind of thing.

00:05:54.000 You got to understand Quebecois.

00:05:56.000 He's not English.

00:05:58.000 He's French Canadian.

00:05:59.000 He's a frog.

00:06:00.000 A Pepsi, as we call them.

00:06:02.000 And peppers, we call them peppers.

00:06:06.000 And that's a bad word.

00:06:07.000 Like it's the N word for French Canadians.

00:06:11.000 Peppers are weird about sex.

00:06:12.000 Like peppers are to sex, about sex the same way dogs and insects are.

00:06:18.000 It's just a thing.

00:06:19.000 Like they don't even call it anal sex.

00:06:22.000 She'll say like, you can put it in the back.

00:06:25.000 And when you go to, it ruins strip clubs because strip clubs have to be kind of dark.

00:06:31.000 There's like a goth element.

00:06:33.000 It's kind of sick and wrong.

00:06:35.000 wrong that you're there but there the the strip clubs in quebec it's just like the farmer's daughter who was horny chose that profession like this one was good at math she chose math this one wanted to stay home she rose the family.

00:06:48.000 This one is very libidinous, so we sent her to the strip club.

00:06:51.000 So she's there, not even with high-heel shoes on, but with bare feet, dancing nude.

00:06:55.000 And you're like, this is too natural.

00:06:58.000 They're hippies, I guess is the word I'm looking for.

00:07:01.000 See if you can find that video.

00:07:03.000 Justin Trudeau, creepy, threesome talk show, maybe?

00:07:08.000 Yep.

00:07:10.000 And then he looks at the audience like, yummy.

00:07:10.000 I tried to do that.

00:07:16.000 Me like it.

00:07:18.000 Is it this first one here?

00:07:18.000 Anyway.

00:07:20.000 Does that look like it?

00:07:21.000 Let me see.

00:07:22.000 It's a pretty good talk show.

00:07:24.000 Is it Graham Norton?

00:07:24.000 LGB.

00:07:26.000 No.

00:07:26.000 Oh.

00:07:26.000 No, no.

00:07:27.000 Okay, that doesn't look like a pretty good talk show.

00:07:27.000 That's not it.

00:07:30.000 Here's how you'll know that you have the right one.

00:07:32.000 You won't be able to find it.

00:07:34.000 Ah.

00:07:34.000 Because you're really good at finding the wrong video.

00:07:39.000 Justin Trudeau, gay in UN.

00:07:41.000 Anyway, fuck it.

00:07:42.000 So women elected him.

00:07:45.000 This is the problem with giving women the vote.

00:07:46.000 They should have the right to vote, but should they vote?

00:07:50.000 They tend to focus on emotions.

00:07:52.000 Like Amy Siskind.

00:07:54.000 She's an upper-class activist, a lefty liberal, who I think is one of the worst people on the left right now.

00:08:03.000 And her and her little crew of rich housewives, they just want a woman to win.

00:08:08.000 She could be a fucking Nazi.

00:08:11.000 She could be planning the next Holocaust.

00:08:13.000 But as long as it's a woman, we're winning.

00:08:15.000 Because we need a woman.

00:08:16.000 Because she's a lesbian.

00:08:18.000 And lesbians put feminism above meritocracy and anything else.

00:08:25.000 Anyway, sorry, that's a very long.

00:08:27.000 Wait a minute.

00:08:28.000 What do you got there?

00:08:28.000 Killian Ryan?

00:08:31.000 That might be it.

00:08:31.000 Let me see that.

00:08:34.000 We are thrilled he took time out of his busy schedule.

00:08:41.000 Anyway, sorry, I'm not being very linear here.

00:08:45.000 So Ezra Levan writes a book about Justin Trudeau that is tentatively titled Justin Trudeau Sucks.

00:08:53.000 And he did it during the election because that's when it's most relevant, right?

00:08:57.000 Justin Trudeau sends investigators to investigate him for election tampering.

00:09:04.000 This is what you get when you elect a male model.

00:09:08.000 So he's told to go to like the basically the equivalent of the CIA headquarters and speak to these detectives about tampering with the election.

00:09:17.000 You know how he tampered with the election?

00:09:19.000 He put out a book.

00:09:21.000 That's tampering.

00:09:23.000 You're trying to sway the election.

00:09:25.000 Yeah.

00:09:26.000 I don't think you know what tampering with an election means.

00:09:28.000 It has to be, you're forgetting the illegal part.

00:09:31.000 Like, is me not voting for Justin Trudeau tampering with an election?

00:09:35.000 I'm trying to sway the election.

00:09:38.000 So he filmed then, ridiculed them.

00:09:41.000 They said, you're not allowed to videotape here.

00:09:45.000 He did anyway.

00:09:46.000 Spent like, I don't know, 40 grand in lawyers fighting back saying, no, I'm allowed to videotape this and won.

00:09:53.000 So there's a victory there.

00:09:56.000 Pretty unbelievable, by the way, that the police are investigating you for writing a book.

00:10:01.000 That's all true.

00:10:02.000 It's not like it's fiction or he's lying.

00:10:04.000 That's a whole different set of rules.

00:10:06.000 And this is Justin Trudeau, by the way, who started a fund, something like $670 million to support small media.

00:10:14.000 What it really is, is to bribe journalists into writing nice things about him.

00:10:18.000 He's not trying to save journalism.

00:10:20.000 And the funny thing is, Canada is a very small country.

00:10:22.000 It's about a tenth the size of America.

00:10:25.000 What's the population in Canada?

00:10:27.000 62 million or something?

00:10:29.000 So there's not that many people in media.

00:10:32.000 And when you throw $670 million at a problem.

00:10:36.000 37 million Canadians as of 2019.

00:10:38.000 I was quite far off.

00:10:41.000 Wait a minute.

00:10:42.000 What's Britain?

00:10:43.000 Is Britain 62?

00:10:45.000 Because I remember when Britain and UK were about the same.

00:10:48.000 Any his around 63 million.

00:10:52.000 Yeah, okay.

00:10:53.000 So I was thinking of Britain.

00:10:56.000 So this male model is pouring so much money into the problem that it ends up being like 60 grand per person in media.

00:11:05.000 Like a really good bribe.

00:11:07.000 If you were trying to bribe a criminal and you handed him an envelope with 60 grand, you go, wait, what are you?

00:11:12.000 Holy shit.

00:11:14.000 I assume I have to kill someone?

00:11:16.000 No, that's just for you to be nice to me.

00:11:19.000 Okay, that's not really how bribing works.

00:11:21.000 You're supposed to give me like 800 bucks.

00:11:24.000 Any his.

00:11:27.000 So he writes this book.

00:11:28.000 They pull him in.

00:11:29.000 They say, oh, you're fucked.

00:11:30.000 You recorded us.

00:11:31.000 No, he's not fucked.

00:11:32.000 So that was a win-win-win-win-win.

00:11:35.000 When was that?

00:11:35.000 That was what?

00:11:37.000 Like 10 days ago.

00:11:38.000 The hidden camera thing came out January 29th.

00:11:42.000 January 29th.

00:11:45.000 So a month ago, we'll say.

00:11:47.000 Three weeks.

00:11:48.000 No, two weeks ago, whatever.

00:11:50.000 Then he sees Omar Katter at the airport.

00:11:55.000 Omar Katter is a fucking terrorist who murdered an American Marine, blinded a Canadian medic.

00:12:04.000 His father and their troop, their crew, have killed, I'm going to say hundreds of American soldiers.

00:12:14.000 He's been a trained terrorist since he was 15.

00:12:18.000 That became, he's a child soldier who had been brainwashed.

00:12:22.000 And so when he goes to Guantanamo, they say, that's unethical that you put a child in Guantanamo.

00:12:27.000 He's a murderer.

00:12:29.000 He's a soldier.

00:12:30.000 No, he's not.

00:12:31.000 He wasn't a child and he wasn't a soldier.

00:12:33.000 He's a terrorist.

00:12:34.000 So Justin Trudeau, your gorgeous hunk that you ladies elected, gave him $10.5 million.

00:12:40.000 And who are these bitches surrounding Omar Katter, by the way?

00:12:43.000 Like, what is it with women?

00:12:46.000 Why are women so into this terrorist?

00:12:48.000 He's a bad boy.

00:12:50.000 Look at his smile.

00:12:52.000 He's got $10 million in the bank.

00:12:56.000 That's probably why they're surrounding him.

00:12:57.000 He started Vice Media.

00:13:00.000 You see the thing about Vice Media now?

00:13:02.000 It's like empty and for sale.

00:13:05.000 That's interesting.

00:13:05.000 Well, we'll get to that.

00:13:07.000 So that's two.

00:13:08.000 And by the way, if you go back to the beginning of that, you can hear Ezra's heart pounding.

00:13:14.000 Can I have a word?

00:13:17.000 Can I talk to you for a minute?

00:13:20.000 Can we take a selfie together?

00:13:22.000 If you want.

00:13:24.000 Can I ask you a couple questions?

00:13:27.000 How did you get on the plane?

00:13:28.000 I thought you were on the no-fly list.

00:13:30.000 See, this is exactly what we figured would happen.

00:13:32.000 Why don't we go ahead and move away from the plane?

00:13:34.000 So here's the deal with that, by the way.

00:13:37.000 I don't know why he's allowed to fly within Canada.

00:13:40.000 But the deal is, as long as he's never over American airspace, what?

00:13:44.000 If you go from Toronto to Halifax, which was that flight, you're going over...

00:13:52.000 So you're going over Vermont.

00:13:53.000 So he was in American airspace.

00:13:56.000 But your Zoolander prime minister doesn't care.

00:13:58.000 And by the way, I know you don't give a shit about Canada, but Bernie Sanders is winning the DNC right now.

00:14:05.000 That's Justin Trudeau.

00:14:07.000 That's Canada.

00:14:07.000 That's socialism.

00:14:09.000 Canada and Britain are basically socialist countries.

00:14:12.000 Bernie wants us to push to that.

00:14:14.000 So I would like you to know what my hometown is like.

00:14:19.000 Prime ministers question authors of books that criticize them.

00:14:23.000 Not that far from Cuba.

00:14:27.000 All right, so that's two with Ez, right?

00:14:31.000 Three.

00:14:34.000 Have you ever heard of Patrick Williams, the co-founder of Greenpeace?

00:14:39.000 He's a guy who started Greenpeace, big environmentalist, still an environmentalist.

00:14:45.000 Unfortunately, he's not following the leftist narrative of climate change and Manhattan's going to be underwater in a few years and we're all going to die and we should recycle all our coffee cups and that's the real issue and we need to spend more money on windmills and solar panels and all this shit.

00:15:02.000 He says, he's not in my notes.

00:15:04.000 He says controversial stuff like buying wood is good for trees.

00:15:09.000 He goes, there's more trees around now than there have ever been.

00:15:13.000 Now, he's including little seedlings and stuff.

00:15:15.000 There's obviously not the same amount of 100-year-old redwoods, but he's right.

00:15:21.000 And he says, you want to encourage forestry?

00:15:24.000 Buy more wood.

00:15:25.000 Why aren't you looking up Patrick Williams, Greenpeace, co-founder?

00:15:30.000 I put Ezra Levant, Greenpeace.

00:15:32.000 Why Ezra Levant?

00:15:34.000 Don't worry about that.

00:15:35.000 I'm going to tell you the story.

00:15:36.000 There he is.

00:15:37.000 Patrick Moore.

00:15:38.000 Sorry.

00:15:39.000 Patrick Moore.

00:15:40.000 Wonderful guy.

00:15:42.000 Anyway, he's doing some talk in, I think, Regina, Saskatchewan.

00:15:49.000 He's doing some talk.

00:15:50.000 He's one of like 45 speakers.

00:15:52.000 And the lefties find out about it.

00:15:54.000 They hate him because he says horrible shit like carbon dioxide is great for the planet.

00:15:58.000 We don't need less CO2.

00:16:00.000 We need more.

00:16:00.000 In fact, if you look at the history of the planet, we have the least CO2 we've ever had.

00:16:07.000 We need more.

00:16:08.000 This is getting dangerous, he says.

00:16:11.000 Now, to me, all of this just sounds like scientists.

00:16:14.000 And isn't this what science is?

00:16:16.000 You have hypotheses?

00:16:18.000 So this guy is just a scientist with what sounds to me, and I'm no scientist, what sound to me like very reasonable hypotheses.

00:16:25.000 Hypotheses?

00:16:27.000 Hypotheses?

00:16:27.000 That's fine.

00:16:28.000 There's nothing wrong.

00:16:29.000 That's why we have free speech, to hammer it out.

00:16:32.000 But no.

00:16:34.000 So all these hippie, lefty, scumbag commies go nuts, and they get him canceled.

00:16:40.000 They have him kicked off the roster.

00:16:44.000 He's not doing it anymore.

00:16:45.000 Now, that's a big deal.

00:16:47.000 Because now, when the next group says, oh, we'd like to get Patrick Moore, they go, no, everyone gets really mad.

00:16:54.000 And of course, the media is on the side of the radical left.

00:16:58.000 So when they're writing about it, they go, finally, we got that eco-Nazi Patrick Moore off the thing.

00:17:03.000 That's really great news and blah, blah, blah.

00:17:05.000 And you go, hmm, the media is totally on board with Patrick Moore being banned.

00:17:11.000 But is that the general consensus?

00:17:13.000 I mean, if you check out my name on Twitter, it's people wanting to murder me.

00:17:16.000 And then every time I go outside in a very liberal city like Manhattan, where 3% or 4% voted for Trump, it's high fives and selfies and everything's great.

00:17:26.000 99% of the time.

00:17:28.000 95, I'll say.

00:17:29.000 Everything is 95.5 on this show.

00:17:33.000 So Ezra goes, this is what, he's just such a fucking, he's a happy warrior is who he is.

00:17:40.000 And he goes, no, fuck that.

00:17:44.000 He's getting, we're doing the talk.

00:17:46.000 He had nothing to do with this original thing.

00:17:48.000 He just hears about this and he gets pissed off.

00:17:51.000 So he starts like the little, he's, I know I said he's a redneck, but he's also like a little hedgehog.

00:17:59.000 He's a little woodchuck.

00:18:00.000 He's a little prairie dog.

00:18:03.000 So he starts burrowing away in his little hole and making a little tunnel.

00:18:10.000 That's why his teeth look that way.

00:18:11.000 That's why his teeth are so shitty.

00:18:13.000 Referred to the other show earlier.

00:18:15.000 That's an inside joke for subscribers.

00:18:17.000 Oh shit, I forgot to mention our sponsor.

00:18:21.000 And he got another venue for Patrick Moore.

00:18:26.000 Now, Regina is a tiny town.

00:18:28.000 I think there's a quarter million total population.

00:18:31.000 He gets 2,000 people.

00:18:32.000 Well, I think there's 800 now, but he'll easily...

00:18:37.000 So he's going to get about 2,000 people to come to Patrick Moore's solo event.

00:18:42.000 In other words, the media was wrong.

00:18:45.000 People don't want him canceled.

00:18:48.000 And now when you think of Patrick Moore, you go, oh, the guy that sells out a massive 2,000-person place in a small town in Canada?

00:19:00.000 Looks like he is, there is demand for him.

00:19:03.000 Tickets Moore's range from $25 to $2,000.

00:19:05.000 He's going to make a mint.

00:19:10.000 That's pretty badass.

00:19:11.000 What's $25 times $2,000?

00:19:13.000 Well, let's raise that, right?

00:19:16.000 Obviously, the $2,000 are probably like a luncheon or something.

00:19:18.000 That's not that many people.

00:19:19.000 But let's just say $30.

00:19:21.000 $95,500 times $2, $95.

00:19:23.000 My dad would fucking rape me if he knew I just did 2,000 times 30.

00:19:30.000 He would put a hot poker up my ass.

00:19:32.000 Are you stupid?

00:19:34.000 You fucking did 2,000 times 30, you stupid.

00:19:39.000 What was the Trivial Pursuit thing?

00:19:42.000 This man knows nothing.

00:19:44.000 We're doing Trivial Pursuit, and he's getting all the science and geography and history right, but the pop culture he doesn't know.

00:19:50.000 And so they come to me and it's like, so rock and roll was Chuck Blank Berry or something.

00:19:56.000 And he played what instrument?

00:19:58.000 And I'm like, I don't know.

00:19:59.000 And so that one job I had, pop culture, I couldn't get.

00:20:02.000 And he just fucking goes, I do not want this man on my team.

00:20:10.000 He knows nothing.

00:20:14.000 And I was just like, were you guys playing for fingers and toes?

00:20:19.000 He was so fucking mad.

00:20:21.000 In fact, I think when he hit his fists on the table, all the pies came out of the wheels.

00:20:27.000 The game ender.

00:20:29.000 So yeah, Ezra is just fucking killing.

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00:20:58.000 You rub that in.

00:21:01.000 You know when you do like a big leg day or an arm day?

00:21:04.000 Oh, I came with the best thing, by the way, at the gym.

00:21:07.000 Everyone skips rope for the first two rounds to warm up.

00:21:11.000 And I just walk up to them going, hey man, what's going on?

00:21:14.000 Are you going to be like, you do what, two rounds?

00:21:16.000 And walk into their rope area?

00:21:18.000 It's actually a very selfless joke because it's hilarious, but it fucking kills.

00:21:23.000 It hurts.

00:21:23.000 Yeah, the rope is like, it's often steel wire wrapped in plastic.

00:21:28.000 So I've actually changed it a bit because I've got too many welts on my head.

00:21:32.000 And now I'll just have my boxing glove out.

00:21:34.000 And I'll go, hey, man, so you're going to be doing this for like another round or two or what's?

00:21:38.000 And it'll hit the glove and bounce into his face and stuff.

00:21:43.000 Or you pretend you want the rope that they have and go, hey, man, are you almost done with that?

00:21:46.000 How long are you going?

00:21:49.000 It's pretty funny.

00:21:50.000 That could hurt because it sounds painful.

00:21:52.000 It's like, yeah, especially towards the end where they go, what, what, what, what, what?

00:21:56.000 I've always feared the sound of that.

00:21:58.000 Sounds like a.

00:21:59.000 I fucking hate skipping rope.

00:22:01.000 Hate it.

00:22:02.000 My legs are literally on fire.

00:22:06.000 But I use the, what do we got there?

00:22:08.000 Go down to the, not the tincture, the topicals.

00:22:11.000 The topicals.

00:22:12.000 Use the topicals.

00:22:13.000 Big help.

00:22:14.000 That's actually how I found out about CBD, was at my gym when they were talking about it.

00:22:18.000 But go to jacbd.com.

00:22:22.000 Use the password gavin and you get free shipping, 20% off, all kinds of fucking awesome stuff.

00:22:29.000 It's true.

00:22:30.000 They are our top sponsor.

00:22:32.000 And when you go there and get their shit, you're promoting free speech.

00:22:37.000 You're promoting censored.tv.

00:22:39.000 You're encouraging companies to work with us.

00:22:41.000 And we appreciate that very much.

00:22:43.000 Homeboys get night like.

00:22:45.000 Get it.

00:22:47.000 Which reminds me of our two.

00:22:49.000 God, I didn't put any shit in my hair today.

00:22:52.000 I just thought I would try it out.

00:22:54.000 No grease.

00:22:55.000 The product?

00:22:56.000 No Razak.

00:22:57.000 I wear black women's stuff in my hair.

00:23:02.000 RAZIC.

00:23:03.000 RASIK which reminds me Oh, wow.

00:23:17.000 And the journal, though.

00:23:18.000 He was like, I said, wait a minute, fuck the black woman part.

00:23:23.000 The school read his journal?

00:23:25.000 Yeah.

00:23:26.000 That really pissed, that made me so fucking mad.

00:23:29.000 They're invading his piracy.

00:23:31.000 They're invading, as you say, piracy.

00:23:34.000 I didn't say that.

00:23:35.000 It sounded like you said piracy.

00:23:37.000 No, no.

00:23:37.000 But like, a journalist where you, this is what pisses me off about censorship in general.

00:23:43.000 A journal is where you work shit out.

00:23:45.000 So maybe you'd say, black women are really annoying me today.

00:23:48.000 And then, you know, you think about it more and you go, that was weird where I was last week in my head, but I've really evolved and I've realized that the woman that pissed me off doesn't represent the group, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:24:00.000 Now, it's just like I was saying earlier about science.

00:24:02.000 You iron out the kinks.

00:24:04.000 You go through these changes.

00:24:06.000 And censorship prevents us from learning.

00:24:08.000 It prevents us from growing.

00:24:10.000 Free speech is about ironing out the kinks.

00:24:13.000 Conjecture.

00:24:14.000 You should be able to say controversial things.

00:24:16.000 Bad ideas will lose in the free market of ideas.

00:24:20.000 Cliven Bundy said, I wonder if blacks were better off during slavery.

00:24:25.000 He said that when he was looking at some woman whose baby daddy was in prison and she had four kids and she was on welfare.

00:24:32.000 She was on the porch broke and futureless.

00:24:36.000 And he was wrong.

00:24:38.000 Of course, nothing's worse than slavery.

00:24:40.000 But you're allowed to wonder.

00:24:43.000 Or when Roosh V said, if women weren't allowed to press rape charges after inviting men to their homes, they would be a lot more careful about who they invite into their homes.

00:24:56.000 That became Roosh V promoting rape and wanting it to be legal.

00:25:01.000 No, he's presenting a silly little brain teaser.

00:25:06.000 Would you rather drown or be buried alive?

00:25:08.000 It's just a silly question that helps you get smarter.

00:25:14.000 By the way, I'm willing to concede that most people would rather drown.

00:25:17.000 I'm sorry, Ryan.

00:25:18.000 You were right.

00:25:20.000 I've never said that.

00:25:22.000 What?

00:25:23.000 I've never said that.

00:25:25.000 No, you said there's no way anyone would prefer being buried alive to drowning.

00:25:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:30.000 Nobody would ever be buried alive ever.

00:25:32.000 Yeah.

00:25:41.000 That's a good one.

00:25:41.000 Because Drowned is like an easy...

00:25:45.000 It was no problem.

00:25:46.000 No, I think it takes a bit.

00:25:48.000 I mean, you can hold your breath for a minute.

00:25:50.000 I heard it was really painful.

00:25:51.000 Really?

00:25:52.000 I heard that it's like a deep sleep.

00:25:54.000 That's what I've always thought.

00:25:55.000 That's why I always pick it.

00:25:56.000 But then I looked it up.

00:25:57.000 I don't know why I looked it up.

00:25:58.000 I'm not suicidal, but I did look it up.

00:26:00.000 How do you know how it...

00:26:05.000 Because maybe people have drowned, they're resuscitated when the people go like, we got him back.

00:26:09.000 And they're like, One time I was walking on the beach in Costa Rica when we had a place there, and a guy had gotten wasted and gone swimming and drowned in the ocean.

00:26:18.000 And there was this hippie there who hated us.

00:26:21.000 All the hippies hated us, really.

00:26:23.000 And I said, hey, I heard some dude drowned here yesterday.

00:26:28.000 And he was, I think he was German, and he's like, yes.

00:26:31.000 He had like dreads, but he was kind of balding.

00:26:33.000 It's a real hippie-dippy town, Montezuma, Costa Rica, or as we called it, Montefuma Coca Rica.

00:26:42.000 That's what the locals call it, actually.

00:26:45.000 And he says, yes, and he died.

00:26:49.000 And I go, yeah, that's what I just said.

00:26:51.000 And he goes, he got super pissed.

00:26:53.000 Because he thought drowning doesn't mean fatal?

00:26:54.000 No, he got super pissed.

00:26:55.000 And he goes, you don't have to die to drown.

00:27:00.000 And I go, yeah, you do.

00:27:02.000 Yeah.

00:27:03.000 In fact, I'm 90% sure the dictionary says drowning, to die by asphyxiation in water.

00:27:11.000 No, it does not.

00:27:13.000 Now, this is pre-internet, so I couldn't look it up.

00:27:15.000 Is he right?

00:27:17.000 No, he's not right, you retard.

00:27:18.000 Because somebody says, I'm drowning, I'm drowning, but that doesn't mean they're dead.

00:27:21.000 I'm dying, I'm dying.

00:27:22.000 I'm in the process of dying.

00:27:23.000 Oh, okay.

00:27:24.000 Yeah.

00:27:25.000 Hmm.

00:27:25.000 Yeah, he's wrong.

00:27:26.000 Look it up.

00:27:27.000 Well, I found this.

00:27:29.000 You're conscious when you breathe in water.

00:27:31.000 This is the description of what it feels like when you drown.

00:27:33.000 The instinct not to breathe underwater is so strong that it overcomes the agony of running out of air.

00:27:37.000 No matter how desperate the drowning person is, he doesn't inhale until he's on the verge of losing consciousness.

00:27:42.000 At that point, there's so much carbon dioxide in the blood and so little oxygen that chemical sensors in the brain trigger an involuntary breath where he's underwater or not, whether he's underwater or not.

00:27:52.000 This is called the breakpoint, and laboratory experiments showing that the breakpoint comes after about 87 seconds.

00:27:59.000 It's sort of a neurological optimism as if the body were saying, holding our breath is killing us and breathing might not kill us, so let's just breathe in.

00:28:05.000 Oof.

00:28:06.000 How do you know?

00:28:07.000 anchor.

00:28:07.000 Right.

00:28:08.000 And then there's the entering of the lungs and the Somebody says.

00:28:13.000 Why are we looking this up?

00:28:14.000 Burns like hot lava.

00:28:15.000 Ooh, that sucks.

00:28:16.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:28:18.000 Everything goes.

00:28:19.000 Oh, wow.

00:28:19.000 Yeah.

00:28:22.000 Should we go through the news?

00:28:24.000 Yes.

00:28:26.000 Here's something that kind of pisses me off.

00:28:28.000 About the Ruch thing, too.

00:28:29.000 Dr. Ruth said that, and she wasn't canceled.

00:28:32.000 Yeah, she said you can't say no to sex once naked in bed.

00:28:35.000 And here's the difference.

00:28:36.000 Dr. Ruth wasn't using conjecture.

00:28:40.000 She was saying definitively, if you're naked with a man, rape charges are over.

00:28:46.000 You've already said yes the second you're nude.

00:28:49.000 By the way, I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with either Dr. Ruth or Rush V. I think they're both interesting conundrums or situations.

00:28:57.000 But yeah, she didn't pose a question.

00:29:00.000 It's called white unprivileged.

00:29:02.000 White male unprivilege.

00:29:05.000 Even though he looks like some kind of Arab.

00:29:08.000 What is he, Iranian?

00:29:09.000 What is it?

00:29:13.000 Yeah.

00:29:15.000 He is like juicy smole.

00:29:20.000 He's experiencing black privilege.

00:29:23.000 Black gay privilege.

00:29:25.000 Did you see that?

00:29:26.000 Anyway, to get back to Stone, everyone's just discovered that the jury was fucked and it was all activists.

00:29:36.000 Did we not call that when we were down there watching the trial?

00:29:40.000 Hello, it's a base.

00:29:43.000 Hello, it's a corrupt judge.

00:29:45.000 Roger Stone's jury four persons anti-Trump social media posts surface after she...

00:29:54.000 The selection, yeah.

00:29:55.000 And remember, there was that woman who said, they go, so what does your husband do?

00:29:59.000 He's a lawyer.

00:30:00.000 Public defender.

00:30:00.000 What kind of lawyer?

00:30:01.000 Oh, and what are you in?

00:30:04.000 It's D.C., right?

00:30:04.000 I work in politics.

00:30:05.000 I work in politics.

00:30:06.000 I worked for Obama.

00:30:08.000 Oh, have you guys discussed Roger Stone?

00:30:10.000 She goes, nope.

00:30:13.000 In other words, I'm happy to sit here and lie to you right now so I can be part of the lynching of Roger Stone.

00:30:21.000 And then you know what happened?

00:30:22.000 Fucking National Review's Kevin Williamson wrote an article saying, Roger Stone should do a lot of time in jail.

00:30:31.000 He did seven felonies, including lying to an FBI guy.

00:30:37.000 Yeah, those are the charges.

00:30:38.000 The charges are fucking absurd, dude.

00:30:41.000 That's a weird thing with people where they go, oh, well, he went to jail.

00:30:44.000 He must be guilty.

00:30:46.000 He went to prison.

00:30:47.000 Remember, his lawyers asked, like, you wrote this about Trump on social media.

00:30:51.000 Don't you think that's going to make you a little biased?

00:30:54.000 And then the judge said, she banged the gavel and said, I don't think that's an appropriate question.

00:30:54.000 And she said, nope.

00:30:59.000 Right.

00:30:59.000 And you know what else she said?

00:31:01.000 She said, these people are government employees, so Trump is their boss.

00:31:07.000 So in a way, their bias supporting their boss will counteract the fact that they hate his fucking government.

00:31:16.000 So kick him out then.

00:31:17.000 If they're biased either.

00:31:18.000 Sounds like you got a big pile of bias here, even on your best day.

00:31:22.000 A double bias is no bias.

00:31:24.000 What a fucking mess.

00:31:25.000 Anyway, we called this a million years ago.

00:31:27.000 But I think this is kind of good news because the sentencing is about to happen.

00:31:34.000 So the controversy should be in full tilt right now.

00:31:36.000 You wouldn't want people to forget about it.

00:31:39.000 My gut says four years.

00:31:40.000 This seems to be the magic number for Trump supporters.

00:31:43.000 John Kinsman, Max Hare got four years for being Trump supporters.

00:31:48.000 That seems to be what the government wants.

00:31:51.000 Of course, the left and apparently with the right, National Review, wants much more than that.

00:31:58.000 I know, let me just tell you how much I fucking hate National Review.

00:32:02.000 They are conservative ink.

00:32:03.000 They are everything wrong with the right.

00:32:05.000 The right are fucking pussies.

00:32:09.000 They are petrified of controversy.

00:32:12.000 They hate confrontation.

00:32:13.000 Even like Fox News is constantly worried about, oh no, Jon Stewart's mad at Sean Hannity.

00:32:20.000 Now, if Sean Hannity was mad at Jon Stewart, do you think Jon Stewart would be shitting his pants going, oh no, Fox News made fun of my show?

00:32:28.000 But at Fox News, they were talking about, we're going to get letters.

00:32:32.000 Ooh, letters.

00:32:37.000 Look up Kevin Williamson, he's the one who wrote this thing about Roger Stone.

00:32:41.000 I met him a few times, very smart guy, but Asperger's level of autism.

00:32:47.000 And the problem with those dudes is their fucking breath is shocking.

00:32:54.000 Kevin Williamson's breath will curl your toenails.

00:32:58.000 Kevin Williamson, is that what I said?

00:32:59.000 Kevin Williamson?

00:33:00.000 Yep.

00:33:01.000 So he just wrote a big thing saying, throw the book at him, motherfuckers, which is like the conservative Inc.

00:33:01.000 Yeah.

00:33:07.000 virtue signaling.

00:33:08.000 I went to this dinner once at the Harvard Supper Club.

00:33:12.000 International Review's top troll demands Roger Stone die in prison.

00:33:17.000 The fuck?

00:33:18.000 He's a weirdo, too.

00:33:19.000 He does that thing that autistic people do, where they exaggerate what they want to do to their enemies.

00:33:25.000 And they're like, Hilary should have her skin removed in front of her entire family and then deep fried and stuffed up their asses.

00:33:36.000 You go, how about she just gets fired?

00:33:41.000 It's a nerd thing.

00:33:43.000 They don't really get the limits.

00:33:45.000 I just heard a nerdy exaggeration the other day.

00:33:48.000 Like, I'll fucking go to war.

00:33:50.000 And it was something so mundane.

00:33:51.000 No, that's totally different.

00:33:53.000 Yeah.

00:33:54.000 Yeah.

00:33:57.000 So Andrew McCarthy is this pink-faced conservative baldie who wrote a book called Free Speech and Islam.

00:34:06.000 Sounds good.

00:34:08.000 Who went to the Harvard Supper Club.

00:34:10.000 He did a talk about the book.

00:34:12.000 A bunch of people got up and said he's wonderful.

00:34:14.000 The people who put it out, Encounter Books, some guy with a bow tie who runs that, which seems like a vanity project to me, says, yes, this book's so important, blah, blah.

00:34:23.000 And yeah, Islam and free speech.

00:34:25.000 Islam is not great with free speech.

00:34:27.000 Yeah, I think we're pretty clear on that.

00:34:29.000 And then we have a big, nice dinner.

00:34:31.000 And there was a New York Times reporter at the dinner.

00:34:35.000 And they were pooping their pants, tripping over themselves, trying to kiss her fucking ass because they wanted to be accepted by the left so badly.

00:34:46.000 And that is what pisses me off.

00:34:49.000 It's like white people who want to be accepted by blacks and say, hey, what's up, my man?

00:34:55.000 Or even black people that want to be accepted by whites and start altering the way they behave and talk in order to be part of the group.

00:35:03.000 It's being a sellout.

00:35:04.000 Phony baloney.

00:35:05.000 Thanks, Ryan.

00:35:06.000 Ryan's two cents.

00:35:08.000 Phony baloney.

00:35:09.000 Yep.

00:35:10.000 Yeah, maybe don't.

00:35:11.000 Don't interject for the rest of the show unless you have a hilarious imitation.

00:35:11.000 You know what?

00:35:15.000 I don't need to.

00:35:16.000 What are we, Diamond and Silk?

00:35:19.000 Uh-huh.

00:35:20.000 Phony baloney.

00:35:22.000 Then being good at it, if you will.

00:35:25.000 That was a good imitation of Gary Coleman.

00:35:28.000 So we're at the supper club.

00:35:29.000 You know who's there is, what's his name?

00:35:32.000 The free speech guy, Greg Lukianakis.

00:35:35.000 I forget his name.

00:35:36.000 But he's big in the free speech world.

00:35:38.000 One of his books might be here.

00:35:42.000 Great guy.

00:35:43.000 Lukianoff?

00:35:44.000 Yeah, Greg Lukianoff.

00:35:45.000 You know what Greg Lukianoff does now that we're spilling the beans and the gossip?

00:35:50.000 He cuts up all his food before he eats it.

00:35:53.000 I've told this story before, so I'm sure you're familiar with it.

00:35:57.000 Like the way you do for a kid?

00:35:57.000 I think so.

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:35:59.000 He cuts up his own food.

00:36:02.000 He cuts up all his meat.

00:36:03.000 His potatoes are cut up.

00:36:05.000 And then once that's settled, then he goes like meat, potato, vegetable, which I'm for the second part.

00:36:11.000 I like the idea of amalgamating forkfuls.

00:36:13.000 That's fine.

00:36:15.000 But to prepare it first?

00:36:18.000 I mean, it's probably pretty cold by the time you're finally done.

00:36:20.000 It's kind of weird.

00:36:21.000 Anyway, he's a good guy.

00:36:24.000 Yeah, that's a really good book, Freedom from Speech.

00:36:28.000 Anyway, and he's kind of a liberal.

00:36:31.000 He's a liberal from back in the good old days, the Berkeley days, the Cornell West days, where they put free speech above everything else.

00:36:38.000 And that includes hate speech.

00:36:43.000 Do you find him sexy, Ryan?

00:36:45.000 I do not, actually.

00:36:46.000 How much would you have to be paid to make out with him for one hour?

00:36:49.000 An hour?

00:36:50.000 That's looking like maybe.

00:36:50.000 an hour.

00:37:01.000 Okay.

00:37:03.000 I have a paper bag here and a Greg Lukianov.

00:37:05.000 Nope.

00:37:06.000 That's my number.

00:37:07.000 Greg is smiling.

00:37:09.000 You've had a beer.

00:37:10.000 And this paper bag has $12,900 in it.

00:37:14.000 I'm sliding it towards you.

00:37:17.000 Here's my number.

00:37:18.000 So it's $13,000, but if you can give me $500 less than that, I would still take it.

00:37:27.000 Okay, so it's not your number.

00:37:29.000 So $13,500 wiggle room.

00:37:32.000 Okay, so as someone who wants to save money on this, I'm going to offer $12,500.

00:37:37.000 That's my bottom line.

00:37:39.000 Okay, so I have a paper bag here.

00:37:41.000 With $12,490.

00:37:41.000 Nope.

00:37:44.000 Because in my mind, I'm already $500 down.

00:37:46.000 So no.

00:37:48.000 Okay.

00:37:48.000 So you have to know that the come down price.

00:37:51.000 Here's the other problem.

00:37:52.000 You buy a used Toyota Corolla with the money.

00:37:56.000 You're driving around and people go, this guy's kind of cool.

00:37:59.000 Where'd you get it?

00:38:00.000 Gavin paying you really well?

00:38:02.000 And you go, I don't want to talk about it.

00:38:04.000 I necked Greg Lukianov.

00:38:07.000 Tangent time.

00:38:07.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:38:09.000 So we're sitting at the dinner and they keep looking over at this fucking Jewish, hippie, long-haired New York Times reporter chick, who you're just like, get her fucking out of here.

00:38:23.000 Get her out of here.

00:38:23.000 What does she do?

00:38:25.000 Not only do I not want to kiss her ass, I don't want her ass on this seat.

00:38:28.000 Go, go, go.

00:38:30.000 You don't belong here.

00:38:32.000 And so we started talking about ISIS and Islam.

00:38:36.000 And because the theme of the dinner was Islam and free speech and what they're doing now, what their strategy is in the Middle East.

00:38:44.000 And they've taken over, this was a while ago, this is maybe five years ago, three or four years, 45, 45, 40, 45, 40, 45 months ago.

00:38:57.000 And they've taken over Qatar In this area, and it seems that they're trying to flank maybe some of the American troops and maybe, you know, eventually get down to Iran and then maybe Turkey.

00:39:09.000 And I'm just like, can we just stop?

00:39:13.000 Can we stop when you got there?

00:39:17.000 45 years.

00:39:18.000 45 years.

00:39:19.000 40, 45 years.

00:39:21.000 What about you, Charles?

00:39:21.000 It's 40, 45 years.

00:39:22.000 40, 45 years.

00:39:27.000 40, 45 years?

00:39:29.000 40, 45 years.

00:39:32.000 That's such a good sketch.

00:39:33.000 So fucking weird.

00:39:34.000 And if you read it on the page, you'd go, we're not shooting this.

00:39:37.000 You just keep saying 40, 45 years.

00:39:40.000 This isn't funny.

00:39:42.000 I always use that sketch, by the way, to get people into Harry and Paul.

00:39:47.000 It's a good gateway drug.

00:39:50.000 Any hazoo.

00:39:54.000 So I go, let's just stop, cut the shit.

00:39:56.000 I got food coming out of my mouth.

00:39:58.000 Why are we trying to imbue some kind of strategy on a group that is clearly just fucking inbred?

00:40:08.000 Okay?

00:40:09.000 We're talking about inbred savages, animals.

00:40:13.000 There's no strategy.

00:40:15.000 It's just convert or die.

00:40:18.000 Smite ye above the neck.

00:40:20.000 That's it.

00:40:21.000 Don't worry about your fucking...

00:40:26.000 The jihadi military does not.

00:40:29.000 And they all start sweating like crazy, going, and they all, all eyes go to the New York Times journalist and they go, he's, I don't know.

00:40:41.000 What?

00:40:42.000 Oh, my God.

00:40:43.000 That was, this guy is kind of a, he's kind of a funny man.

00:40:47.000 And what will he think of next?

00:40:50.000 He's, he's like a devil's advocate.

00:40:52.000 I mean, he's obviously never, not coming back next year.

00:40:54.000 I wasn't invited back, by the way.

00:40:57.000 And you can just see her like, hmm, you've misbehaved, conservatives.

00:41:02.000 That's going in my little report.

00:41:05.000 National Review is going to be in the left's bad books.

00:41:08.000 Why do you want to be in their fucking good books, you pussies?

00:41:12.000 I avoided saying faggots there because we're in a stage now where faggots are braver than the conservative age.

00:41:20.000 It's an insult to all.

00:41:21.000 It's an insult to homosexuals.

00:41:24.000 Then I found out later, remember John Derbyshire?

00:41:27.000 He wrote a controversial letter called The Talk.

00:41:30.000 And The Talk is something that black people do to like their 13-year-old black kids.

00:41:35.000 And I think it's really detrimental.

00:41:38.000 They say, look, cops are going to fuck with you.

00:41:41.000 Cops are going to hurt you.

00:41:43.000 So put your hands behind your back.

00:41:45.000 And America's super racist.

00:41:47.000 And you're going to have to do twice as well as a white kid to get the same mark and letter and whatever.

00:41:53.000 And everyone's out to kill you and blah, blah, blah, slavery.

00:41:56.000 And first of all, I don't think that's true.

00:41:59.000 In fact, the opposite is probably true.

00:42:02.000 If a company's looking to hire and they're going to go for the most qualified black guy in many cases.

00:42:07.000 So there's plenty of black privilege going on in 2020.

00:42:10.000 I'm not talking about 1960 or anything like that.

00:42:12.000 I'm talking about today.

00:42:14.000 So don't lie to a kid and tell him the world hates him.

00:42:18.000 You're putting him at a disadvantage and you're also making him give up.

00:42:22.000 Now, here's the other part.

00:42:24.000 Remember that Life is Beautiful movie with that Italian guy?

00:42:29.000 What's his name?

00:42:30.000 Roberto Bernini?

00:42:31.000 Roberto Benini, yeah, I think it is.

00:42:32.000 So he's at the Holocaust and he doesn't let the kids know and he says, oh, we're at a fun place.

00:42:36.000 And he makes sure they don't see the dead bodies anymore.

00:42:40.000 If, hypothetically, America was a racist hellhole and I was black, I wouldn't tell my black kids.

00:42:50.000 Like I didn't tell them about Santa.

00:42:51.000 They figured that out on their own.

00:42:53.000 I didn't tell them what sex is until I absolutely had to.

00:42:57.000 I didn't tell them about 9-11.

00:42:59.000 Like, you want to keep them happy and inspired.

00:43:02.000 Why are you burdening a kid with that?

00:43:03.000 Anyway, so John Derbyshire, who's, by the way, they call him a racist.

00:43:08.000 His wife's Chinese.

00:43:09.000 His kids are clearly, they do not look white.

00:43:15.000 He wrote his own The Talk where he said, hey, if you're at a party and you're the only non-black kid there, be nervous.

00:43:22.000 Maybe get the fuck out of there.

00:43:23.000 Stuff like that, right?

00:43:25.000 And it was seen as racist.

00:43:26.000 And even a lot of conservatives I know thought, oh, that was a bit rich.

00:43:30.000 But National Review fired him from National Review.

00:43:34.000 He didn't write that article in National Review.

00:43:36.000 He wrote it on VDARE.

00:43:38.000 But that was the end of him.

00:43:39.000 And I found out Andrew McCarthy.

00:43:41.000 Now, this is not a verified fact, but rumors, let me just say, reliable sources tell me that Andrew McCarthy, the Islam and Free Speech guy, was a big part of saying we got to get rid of this guy.

00:43:53.000 No one at the New York Times is going to like us anymore.

00:43:57.000 John Derbyshire is on our staff.

00:44:01.000 Give up on the left liking you.

00:44:04.000 They don't even like their own.

00:44:07.000 Now, people say that to me, too.

00:44:08.000 They go, why do you keep saying I'm not racist?

00:44:10.000 I'm not an anti-Semite, blah, blah, blah.

00:44:13.000 You're never going to change their mind.

00:44:14.000 I go, just because it's true.

00:44:16.000 If you kept calling me gay all the time, I'd go, I'm not gay.

00:44:19.000 I'm not gay.

00:44:20.000 Now, that's not because I'm petrified of being seen as gay.

00:44:23.000 I'm just saying the truth.

00:44:27.000 Anyway, that was a long tangent for plug-in.

00:44:35.000 That Doggest don't.

00:44:39.000 Which brings us, of course, to Blue Chew.

00:44:43.000 That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.

00:44:50.000 Have better sex with sildenaphyl or tadalphi chewables.

00:44:56.000 Now, what they do online, they have a doctor there where you tell him that you have whiskey dick and he says, all right, I'm going to fix it.

00:45:05.000 And then you get this in a discrete container.

00:45:09.000 You get a prescription, professional medical support.

00:45:13.000 You can do a monthly program where you will be shocked at the kind of wood you produce.

00:45:22.000 You will remember, you'll go, oh yeah, this is why it's called having a woody.

00:45:27.000 I forgot what these are like.

00:45:28.000 When you get to my age, It's not exactly a coconut smasher.

00:45:35.000 So, when you also, you get, what is it, 20% off when you use the promo code Gavin?

00:45:40.000 And that's at B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.

00:45:43.000 I'm getting that right, right?

00:45:45.000 Yeah, B-L-U.

00:45:47.000 Oh, B-L-U.

00:45:48.000 B-L-U-E.

00:45:49.000 Yeah, typically the way blue is spelled, and then chew.

00:45:52.000 Okay, it's not B-L-U-Chu.

00:45:54.000 It's the normal spelling.

00:45:56.000 It's what you think it would be.

00:45:59.000 And even if you don't have a problem with erectile dysfunction, just have it there for an emergency.

00:46:05.000 You know what I did as a young man?

00:46:07.000 I cut my arm and I had a bag of Coke that would never break down, a very thick bag, put under my skin and then stitched back up again.

00:46:17.000 So if I were to get a stripper back to my house and we were out of Coke, I could just take a knife, open up my arm, and it would be there like a microchip.

00:46:26.000 That's pretty fun.

00:46:27.000 Now, you don't have to do that with Bluetooth.

00:46:28.000 You can just put it in your wallet.

00:46:31.000 Problem with having Coke in your wallet is you're going to do it.

00:46:34.000 So I would put Coke under my skin.

00:46:37.000 Like a break in case of merger.

00:46:38.000 In a hard plastic case.

00:46:40.000 You know how these people will get these horns put under their skin?

00:46:46.000 I would have that, but you'd see a plastic case on my forearm.

00:46:51.000 A lot of work for...

00:46:54.000 A gram?

00:46:56.000 A kilo.

00:46:57.000 Oh, my God.

00:46:58.000 That was your whole arm.

00:46:58.000 Yeah.

00:46:59.000 Take up my entire arm.

00:47:02.000 Did that affect?

00:47:05.000 Well, girls wanted to get with me because my nickname in the scene was Coke Arm.

00:47:11.000 And these Mexicans would come up to me and go, hey, man, I hear you got a lot of Coke in your arm, man.

00:47:18.000 And I go, no.

00:47:18.000 And they go, what's that?

00:47:19.000 And they'd see the giant.

00:47:22.000 It's actually shaped like a coffin because I thought I could pretend it was like some Misfits rock and roll thing.

00:47:29.000 You're like, it's free because it's on the arm.

00:47:31.000 JK, it's in the arm.

00:47:35.000 Milo wrote a book, by the way, when we were down there.

00:47:38.000 Yes, he did.

00:47:39.000 Remember, I was so cheap I made his all share a hotel room?

00:47:42.000 And then I went to bed, so you had to either sleep on P or with a gay.

00:47:47.000 Yes.

00:47:48.000 That was an interesting conundrum.

00:47:50.000 You chose a gay.

00:47:51.000 Yep.

00:47:52.000 Why are you gay?

00:47:55.000 He's written a book about the whole trial.

00:47:57.000 And you know what's brilliant about Milo?

00:48:00.000 Not only is all the money is going to go to his defense fund, he's taking no money from it, but he's written the entire thing, but he's ready for the sentencing.

00:48:10.000 So he has what to say if it's four years, if it's zero years, if it's 10 years.

00:48:17.000 This is all ready.

00:48:18.000 So the second the sentencing happens, zoom, the book's off to the presses.

00:48:24.000 Damn.

00:48:26.000 He's fucking great.

00:48:28.000 And it's off to the review.

00:48:29.000 Isn't our team awesome?

00:48:31.000 Oh, by the way, speaking of our team, two new shows launching this weekend.

00:48:38.000 Tomorrow night, we have Gary's Mailbag, where a troubled local gentleman reads our mail.

00:48:46.000 Do you have that intro done?

00:48:48.000 I don't have it on the computer, but...

00:48:48.000 Should we show that?

00:48:51.000 We'll wait for the music.

00:48:52.000 Gary's mailbag.

00:48:54.000 And then we have the savant.

00:48:58.000 There he is.

00:49:03.000 He loves his Fritos.

00:49:04.000 Loves the Fritos.

00:49:05.000 His favorite flavors are Original and Honey BBQ.

00:49:09.000 They're both tied for number one.

00:49:11.000 Spoiler, guys.

00:49:12.000 So what's his number two flavor?

00:49:15.000 Oh, I don't know any of the flavors of Cheetos.

00:49:18.000 So wait a minute.

00:49:20.000 You just love all Fritos.

00:49:22.000 Yeah.

00:49:24.000 And then on Sunday, we have fighting with Larry Barnes.

00:49:28.000 Larry Barnes is my coach, boxing.

00:49:30.000 He knows fucking everything about the sport.

00:49:34.000 Throw any fight at him.

00:49:36.000 Any fight.

00:49:38.000 Hey, he could name every Tyson fight, what his record was before and after, and what date it was, and what day of the week it was.

00:49:47.000 Yeah.

00:49:48.000 I had an idea today for a video.

00:49:50.000 I'm going to film him in front of the wall at the gym where there's all these different posters of fights.

00:49:56.000 And then I'll just read out the posters and say, when did George Foreman fight Lennox Lewis?

00:50:02.000 And because I'm looking at the poster behind him, and he'll have his back to it, and he'll be like, November 5th, 1988.

00:50:08.000 It was a Wednesday.

00:50:10.000 It was cold.

00:50:12.000 Cold.

00:50:13.000 You were dope.

00:50:14.000 You were dope.

00:50:15.000 I can't do nothing for you.

00:50:17.000 Wait, I've already worn this shirt?

00:50:19.000 No, no, this is live.

00:50:20.000 I'm checking the stream.

00:50:21.000 Somebody should complain about it.

00:50:24.000 Two new shows.

00:50:24.000 So that's Sunday.

00:50:26.000 And we'll have Copper Cab coming up, Bloomered.

00:50:29.000 New Copper Cab coming out soon.

00:50:30.000 Lots of fun stuff.

00:50:32.000 And a pilot I'm considering.

00:50:32.000 That's right.

00:50:34.000 A pilot.

00:50:35.000 Yes, thank you.

00:50:38.000 Should we get to the mail?

00:50:39.000 We could, if that's something that you want to do.

00:50:42.000 Why?

00:50:42.000 You don't sound very excited.

00:50:43.000 No, it's fine.

00:50:45.000 What?

00:50:46.000 That's all.

00:50:46.000 What's weird?

00:50:47.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a debt.

00:50:52.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

00:50:58.000 Let me touch it.

00:51:02.000 This is a unique episode because we didn't go through all the news.

00:51:07.000 All right.

00:51:11.000 Someone complaining about the app.

00:51:12.000 That's not good for business to say that out loud.

00:51:14.000 Because it's choppy.

00:51:15.000 A live stream that doesn't live stream ever.

00:51:17.000 Love it.

00:51:18.000 No, someone's mad.

00:51:20.000 Gavin, what are your thoughts on the Wetsu Wheaton movement in Canada?

00:51:25.000 What the fuck is that?

00:51:28.000 Wetsu Wheaton movement.

00:51:29.000 Wetsu.

00:51:31.000 I am copying and pasting.

00:51:34.000 Me too.

00:51:36.000 Wetsu Wheaton.

00:51:38.000 Canada.

00:51:38.000 Oh, it's First Nations.

00:51:41.000 Wetsu Wheatsen are First Nations people who live on the Bukley River around the Broman Lake and Francois Lake in northwest and central British Columbia.

00:51:48.000 The name they call themselves.

00:51:50.000 I don't know anything about this, but it's starting to smell fake.

00:51:55.000 You know, there's Indians that aren't Indians.

00:51:57.000 Like in New York, we have the Pequot, and they all look like me.

00:52:02.000 Here's the deal with Indians.

00:52:04.000 If people don't ask you if you're Asian, you're not an Indian.

00:52:08.000 New rule.

00:52:10.000 New rule.

00:52:11.000 Ew, I just said a Bill Marlin.

00:52:13.000 You did.

00:52:14.000 What's the difference between the elected band cancel and the hereditary chiefs?

00:52:16.000 I don't know.

00:52:17.000 These guys look pretty Indian, though.

00:52:19.000 So sorry to answer.

00:52:20.000 The answer to your question is I have no fucking idea.

00:52:26.000 Movie drop of Gavin's Thirsty ass.

00:52:30.000 Hey, here's Gavin's thirsty ass.

00:52:33.000 Trist with this shit.

00:52:36.000 And so he was looking at 7 to 10.

00:52:38.000 Then on Tuesday, word got out that he was going to get 7 to 10.

00:52:45.000 And Trump tweeted out, that is disgusting.

00:52:48.000 That is outrageous.

00:52:54.000 You have that tweet.

00:52:56.000 How is that interesting?

00:52:58.000 Just got thirsty is all.

00:52:59.000 Yeah, sorry.

00:53:00.000 I drank some Gatorade.

00:53:01.000 You got me.

00:53:02.000 Yeah.

00:53:03.000 Speaking of which, you got any fucking brewskis?

00:53:06.000 Fucking Ryan Rivera there fucking getting up, grabbing a 2-4, fucking running over to the fridge, grab a fucking couple buds.

00:53:06.000 Oh, yes.

00:53:14.000 Hey, people at home who have artistic talent, please make me a picture of a werewolf, like a kind of 80s Spuds McKenzie type of Eero design.

00:53:27.000 A werewolf just ravenous, sort of like the Joe Rogan werewolf, like and a bud in the foreground, right?

00:53:34.000 At an angle like this.

00:53:36.000 And then in sort of 1980s horror letters, like free speech used to be written in, it says, out for bud.

00:53:46.000 Okay?

00:53:49.000 What the fuck are you showing?

00:53:52.000 What's that got you doing?

00:53:53.000 I really wanted to...

00:53:59.000 It's not out there.

00:54:00.000 Out for bud.

00:54:01.000 Unfortunately, I think.

00:54:02.000 So, sir, that letter sucked.

00:54:05.000 These letters better get good.

00:54:08.000 This is from Mr. Zedd.

00:54:10.000 You may have already seen this.

00:54:11.000 It's from 1983, but I'm pretty sure this is what all these tech designers think they've created.

00:54:15.000 Like Sophia, for example.

00:54:17.000 And just to be clear, I fucking hate people talking about robots like it's ever going to be a thing.

00:54:24.000 Well, what kind of audience do we have here this evening?

00:54:28.000 Anyone on a first date?

00:54:33.000 Good.

00:54:35.000 That's really cool.

00:54:36.000 Any football supporters?

00:54:41.000 Good.

00:54:43.000 Anyone from out of town?

00:54:46.000 Yes.

00:54:48.000 Good.

00:54:50.000 Where are you from, sir?

00:54:55.000 This is 1993.

00:54:55.000 Good.

00:54:57.000 That's really cool.

00:54:58.000 Max Headroom was like 1985.

00:54:58.000 But that's way.

00:55:02.000 Isn't he just ripping off Max Headroom?

00:55:05.000 I don't know.

00:55:06.000 We know who Max Headroom is.

00:55:07.000 Wasn't he glitchier, though, and less robotic?

00:55:10.000 No, it was the same joke, really.

00:55:14.000 This viewer is talking about Sophia.

00:55:19.000 They take these fucking robots.

00:55:22.000 They have the same hydraulics that we saw in the 80s in Disneyland.

00:55:26.000 They cut out the back of the head.

00:55:28.000 So you see diodes there.

00:55:29.000 That's supposed to be more intense.

00:55:30.000 And then they say, hey, Sophia, so you're on censored TV.

00:55:34.000 Yes, I am.

00:55:36.000 What do you think?

00:55:37.000 I think Ryan is a retard.

00:55:40.000 And then everyone goes, "Oh my God, she knows the show!"...to help test how robots can improve the mental well-being of humans.

00:55:48.000 Why does this make me so mad?

00:55:50.000 I also participated in a study attempting to measure the level of consciousness.

00:55:54.000 You didn't participate in shit.

00:55:56.000 Everything you say is pre-programmed.

00:55:59.000 In fact, it's just beginning.

00:56:01.000 Oh, I was at a convention.

00:56:03.000 Hello.

00:56:04.000 This is the best convention I've ever been at.

00:56:06.000 Thank you for programming me.

00:56:09.000 Can you imagine?

00:56:10.000 This is like wrestling.

00:56:11.000 When I watch people watch wrestling, I'd go, what the fuck?

00:56:16.000 Do you not see what I see?

00:56:18.000 How can you watch wrestling?

00:56:18.000 Go, whoa, he really slammed them.

00:56:21.000 They already make female robots, the Roomba and the Dishwasher.

00:56:28.000 Wait, I fake laughed at that.

00:56:31.000 And then you thought I was real laughing, so you real laughed.

00:56:33.000 I was freaking laughed.

00:56:34.000 And then you heard me going, hee hee, and then you went, oh, it's a fake laugh.

00:56:37.000 So then you changed your real laugh into a fake laugh.

00:56:39.000 That's correct.

00:56:41.000 I'm a phony.

00:56:43.000 I'm a phony.

00:56:46.000 Like Sophia, for example, they believe they've built a sophisticated robot with implemented AI that can think, talk, and tell jokes by themselves.

00:56:53.000 Never!

00:56:55.000 Never.

00:56:58.000 The downside is that these AI robots they've made are only as sophisticated as their programmer or the person speaking to a fucking mic for them, which isn't saying much since these robots seem pretty retarded.

00:57:07.000 Thank you, Josh.

00:57:09.000 Finally, a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.

00:57:16.000 Alex, this is a Juicy Smollett the Real.

00:57:19.000 Gavin, this is probably the worst show on TV.

00:57:22.000 This Broad, who has a master's in African American studies, calls Juicy Smole noble for lying.

00:57:30.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:57:32.000 Now, I wonder when we show YouTube videos on.

00:57:36.000 Oh, I have not been regarding that at all.

00:57:39.000 Whatever, fuck.

00:57:40.000 ...news, you guys.

00:57:41.000 Yesterday, after an investigation by special prosecutor Dan Webb, Jesse was indicted by a grand jury on six felony charges, which include...

00:57:49.000 That guy looks weird.

00:57:49.000 Finding false police reports.

00:57:51.000 Looks like a little monkey.

00:57:52.000 And staging a hate crime.

00:57:54.000 This is now the second time that Justice has been indicted.

00:57:57.000 Last year a grand jury indicted him on 16 counts.

00:58:01.000 However, those charges ended up being dropped.

00:58:03.000 He needs more makeup.

00:58:04.000 And even though no new evidence has been presented in regards to Jesse's innocence, which he has always maintained, I mean, we've talked about this multiple times on the show.

00:58:13.000 Jesse will be arraigned on February 19th.

00:58:16.000 This must be such a bummer to bring up on a black show because you can't not sound retarded if you don't call him a piece of shit.

00:58:24.000 So, what are you guys' thoughts about?

00:58:26.000 Honestly, this confuses me.

00:58:28.000 I'm so sorry.

00:58:28.000 Yeah.

00:58:31.000 I don't know what's going on.

00:58:32.000 I don't think this is about Jesse.

00:58:33.000 I think it's about Jesse, who is the Cook County state attorney, which is the second largest prosecutor in the country.

00:58:41.000 Is that Debbie Washerman Schultz got dropped in the bat of Gorgeous?

00:58:45.000 Yes, of course.

00:58:47.000 She originally dropped the 16 charges.

00:58:53.000 Yes, because Michelle Obama's chief of staff told her to.

00:58:56.000 I think this is more about her.

00:58:58.000 Yeah, I think this is more of a case between the county of Cook and Kim Fox because they were pissed that those charges were dropped.

00:59:07.000 When she did drop the charges, there was a lot of controversy, you know, around.

00:59:12.000 Controversy?

00:59:13.000 Interesting syllable emphasis.

00:59:15.000 Can you imagine how easy it is to get a degree in African American studies?

00:59:19.000 This is another thing.

00:59:20.000 This is another sexist thing I've noticed about women.

00:59:22.000 I guarantee you, every dissertation to get a PhD in African American Studies is about me, like being black in Chicago, like Michelle Obama's book, Becoming Michelle.

00:59:37.000 All these women, whenever they do a book or a project, it always seems to involve me search.

00:59:42.000 Like, what's his name?

00:59:44.000 Scott Ockerman's wife, Kulap Vinki's her, his Asian wife with her gigantic tits.

00:59:51.000 She didn't have much of a comedy career, but now she has a new movie out, a documentary called My Origin Story.

00:59:59.000 And in it, she takes you through an interview with her dad and her mom about her and where she came from.

01:00:08.000 That's really interesting to your kids.

01:00:11.000 That's about it.

01:00:12.000 I don't give a fuck where your fucking family's from.

01:00:15.000 I should do My Origin Story.

01:00:17.000 Is it from Neptune, maybe?

01:00:19.000 Then my dad was arrested for drunken, violent rages.

01:00:24.000 So him and my mom fled to London, where they had me.

01:00:28.000 Then my dad started a fight with an entire bar and they had to skip the country.

01:00:33.000 That's when we landed in Canada.

01:00:35.000 Here's the bar where he punched a guy so hard he went out the window.

01:00:41.000 Here's an interview with the man.

01:00:43.000 Came very controversial, and I think that they want to make an example.

01:00:48.000 Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch.

01:00:53.000 Okay, that was a waste of time.

01:00:55.000 This is from Chris.

01:00:57.000 What is this stupid hairstyle?

01:01:00.000 Hey, Gav, over the last six months or so, I've seen several middle and high school kids with this retarded hairstyle.

01:01:05.000 I was wondering who started this and why.

01:01:06.000 Did Caratop shave the sides of his head and become popular or Mexican soap operas maybe?

01:01:11.000 I was just hoping that knowing the origin story.

01:01:14.000 Oh, my origin story.

01:01:16.000 Can we see the origin story?

01:01:18.000 That was serendipity.

01:01:19.000 Might make me less angry every time I see it.

01:01:21.000 Thanks.

01:01:22.000 No, this isn't Ryan's hairstyle.

01:01:24.000 He doesn't do the shave sides thing.

01:01:25.000 That's basically my hairstyle when I don't put my black stuff in.

01:01:30.000 That's exactly it.

01:01:31.000 So that's very hurtful to you.

01:01:34.000 What you're saying, sir, did you show the hairstyle?

01:01:36.000 Yep.

01:01:37.000 Is that without black women, I'm annoying.

01:01:40.000 It's like a greaser that just got out of a fight.

01:01:43.000 It's like the undone, ungreased version of that.

01:01:46.000 Oh, you're Johnny Depp now.

01:01:48.000 It's an ungreased version of that.

01:01:51.000 What's going on with you, Depp?

01:01:52.000 It seems like you're vindicated now.

01:01:53.000 Amber Heard is turning out to be a real violent bitch.

01:01:56.000 Yeah, I was tired of being cut out of deals, movie deals.

01:02:00.000 My agent said you should release the audio, so I said, why not?

01:02:03.000 Fuck it.

01:02:04.000 Some sort of creepy labyrinthian metaphysics.

01:02:07.000 Labyrinthian, that is something you would say.

01:02:09.000 Yes.

01:02:10.000 You know, the labyrinth is one of the oldest symbos in the entire world?

01:02:14.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:02:15.000 In history?

01:02:16.000 An old what?

01:02:18.000 You're going to get organized a little better.

01:02:20.000 Can you have a- No, this is one of the oldest symbos.

01:02:24.000 Even when it's late, it's terrific.

01:02:32.000 Oh, my God.

01:02:33.000 Dude.

01:02:36.000 Why is no one cracking up when he's explaining his authematitics?

01:02:41.000 If you look at the crowd these days.

01:02:42.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.

01:02:47.000 At that point, I would just go with that.

01:02:50.000 Like an actual spit tick.

01:02:52.000 Like my jean jacket.

01:02:52.000 Yeah, I would do it.

01:02:54.000 You gave me a spit take.

01:02:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:56.000 You gave me the first spit take I've had in 20 years.

01:02:59.000 That's correct.

01:03:00.000 You came out wearing like a mock turtleneck, a jean jacket that was like stressed with holes and he had rolled up above his elbows and he had maxing, maxing.

01:03:13.000 He had matching jeans.

01:03:14.000 Yes.

01:03:15.000 And I laughed so hard, I did a spit take.

01:03:17.000 With actual spit and no drink.

01:03:19.000 Yeah, it felt so good.

01:03:22.000 Yeah, it felt pretty bad for me.

01:03:24.000 I haven't had that in a long fucking time.

01:03:26.000 You looked like a complete clown.

01:03:29.000 And the fact that what really sold it was that you thought you looked great.

01:03:33.000 And you were sort of like, hey, man, I'm just going to go out and get a BLT.

01:03:36.000 What's up?

01:03:37.000 Meet you back here?

01:03:40.000 Fuck.

01:03:40.000 I'm trying to find it.

01:03:42.000 It was gorgeous.

01:03:43.000 Thanks.

01:03:45.000 All right, but let's take some calls.

01:03:46.000 We're past shit.

01:03:48.000 What?

01:03:49.000 We were supposed to get off the paywall and like, let's just give them 20 minutes from now on.

01:03:53.000 What are you talking about?

01:03:54.000 The YouTube people.

01:03:56.000 What?

01:03:57.000 Let's give them less.

01:03:59.000 No, we only gave them four minutes extra.

01:04:01.000 I got to do a Johnny Apple CBD, and then we're good to go.

01:04:05.000 We're only four minutes over budget.

01:04:07.000 What's your problem?

01:04:09.000 Why are you gay?

01:04:12.000 You probably eat the poopo.

01:04:14.000 The shorter videos get more engagements, and it makes people want to just sign up and see what the shortcomings are.

01:04:18.000 Shorter by four minutes?

01:04:19.000 Yeah.

01:04:22.000 Please go to jacbd.com, as we explained at the beginning of the show.

01:04:26.000 They have the tincture.

01:04:27.000 They have the topicals.

01:04:29.000 They have the gummy bears.

01:04:30.000 These are all very, very helpful, very valuable.

01:04:34.000 You're not going to get high, by the way.

01:04:36.000 It doesn't have the THC that hemp has, but it's all the other stuff that this wonderful plant has.

01:04:42.000 And the tinctures I find are good when you've had too many coffees and you've got to take the edge off.

01:04:47.000 The gummy bears I find are great for sleeping.

01:04:52.000 And the topical is totally unrelated.

01:04:55.000 I find that great for aching muscles.

01:04:57.000 How often do you take the tincture?

01:04:59.000 Tincture, I'm almost out because I take it like every time I have coffee.

01:05:03.000 Otherwise, I get too shaky.

01:05:05.000 I've been having night terrors, but I've also, you know what, I've been having jokes.

01:05:10.000 I've been waking up with bits.

01:05:14.000 They're not, they're usually very weird.

01:05:16.000 Tell me if this is funny or not.

01:05:17.000 I dreamt this joke.

01:05:19.000 It says enforcer across the top of the shirt, and it has Harley Davidson, right?

01:05:26.000 Yeah.

01:05:27.000 And so you have the Harley logo, Enforcer at the top, and then at the very bottom, not too big, maybe this big, it says call center.

01:05:35.000 Yeah, that is pretty much it.

01:05:37.000 And then at the back, it says enforcer.

01:05:37.000 Yeah.

01:05:39.000 And then you look up whatever Harley's number is, like their 1-800 number.

01:05:43.000 And then it has it below that.

01:05:45.000 So like you're a member of the Harley at the Colin Center.

01:05:48.000 I'm like, guys, that's enough for your break.

01:05:50.000 Get back on the phones.

01:05:52.000 But before you see Colin, you're like, holy shit, he works with the Hell's Angels, like making sure people pay off their debts.

01:05:57.000 Yeah.

01:05:58.000 No, that's fun.

01:05:59.000 A really not badass branch of a really badass thing.

01:06:01.000 I dreamt that joke.

01:06:02.000 It's pretty good.

01:06:05.000 I'm also going to do a video.

01:06:07.000 I think I've mentioned this before on how to box.

01:06:09.000 And it's going to be all tricks.

01:06:13.000 Like the best one ever.

01:06:15.000 The thing you have to understand about boxing coaches like Larry Barnes, they have so much fucking information up here that they're dying to talk about.

01:06:22.000 So a question like, so the right hook, doesn't that leave you too vulnerable?

01:06:26.000 Or even like, I saw this guy, he doesn't seem that good.

01:06:29.000 He has 12 and 0.

01:06:31.000 How do you get an amateur record like that?

01:06:34.000 There's a whole story there with going to North Carolina and paying for these shitty guys who are going to take a fall.

01:06:39.000 And then Mexicans and Russians, when you see their amateur record, it's like, I'm not exaggerating, 399-0.

01:06:49.000 So take Larry Burns, for example.

01:06:51.000 His amateur record is something like 45 and 6 as an amateur.

01:06:55.000 And then a pro, it's like 48 and 3, right?

01:06:58.000 48 wins, 3 losses.

01:07:00.000 Russians will have 399 wins.

01:07:04.000 And it's not cheating.

01:07:04.000 I know they always cheat, but that's just the culture down there.

01:07:08.000 They start them fighting at six years old.

01:07:12.000 Anyway, if you talk to a coach about Russian boxing records, they will start a yapping.

01:07:20.000 And the next thing you know, you're like 20 seconds into the round and he hasn't told you what to do yet.

01:07:27.000 And if you're doing stairs, you want to get him yapping as much as possible.

01:07:31.000 Here's another thing about the stairs.

01:07:34.000 As you go by the door.

01:07:36.000 But then when you get to the top, have yourself a little break.

01:07:40.000 The secret to doing running up and down stairs is towards the end of the round, you got to run like a lunatic.

01:07:46.000 So when you come back into the gym, you're going, ah, ah, ah.

01:07:51.000 Like don't make eye contact, like look kind of...

01:07:54.000 Like, I don't even want to talk to you.

01:07:55.000 Fuck off.

01:07:56.000 I just went up and downstairs a whole bunch.

01:07:57.000 Meanwhile, you were just sitting there like this.

01:07:59.000 And they're like, hey, Gavin.

01:08:00.000 You're just like, fuck off.

01:08:02.000 I'll talk to her.

01:08:02.000 Kevin, Keza.

01:08:02.000 What's up?

01:08:04.000 Or I found a spot in the gym where I am flanked by like six heavy bags.

01:08:11.000 So you say, coach, what should I do now?

01:08:13.000 Two rounds with the hook bag.

01:08:14.000 Then when you've done those two rounds, you hide by the heavy bags.

01:08:18.000 Beep.

01:08:19.000 The ring starts.

01:08:20.000 The round starts.

01:08:21.000 And then you give it like 20 seconds.

01:08:24.000 And then you come over and go to the coach, like, hello?

01:08:28.000 He's like, oh, fuck.

01:08:28.000 What should I be doing?

01:08:29.000 Sorry.

01:08:30.000 Oh, shit.

01:08:31.000 Do the slip rope.

01:08:32.000 Okay.

01:08:32.000 Jesus.

01:08:34.000 Sitting here waiting.

01:08:36.000 Another one I've mastered.

01:08:38.000 You're bitchy and dismissive.

01:08:40.000 Hey, I'm trying to learn how to box here.

01:08:43.000 What am I paying you for?

01:08:45.000 I've been hiding in the corner.

01:08:46.000 You know, I'm paying for this, right?

01:08:48.000 Yeah.

01:08:50.000 When I signed up, it said I'd have a coach.

01:08:54.000 And deadbeat dad.

01:08:56.000 Another good one is to put on, in sparring, you put on your head set.

01:09:01.000 What's it called?

01:09:02.000 Headgear.

01:09:03.000 What have you not been wearing yours?

01:09:07.000 You put on your head thing.

01:09:09.000 They've been using it as a fucking speed bag?

01:09:12.000 You put on your head thing really loose.

01:09:16.000 So you get a punch about 20 seconds in the round.

01:09:20.000 It goes flying off.

01:09:21.000 You're like, oh, for fuck's sakes.

01:09:23.000 Can someone put this back on?

01:09:25.000 That buys you like 30 seconds and believe me.

01:09:28.000 Because you can't put it on.

01:09:29.000 No, you have gloves on.

01:09:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:31.000 So they got to pick it up, put it on your head, find a little hole.

01:09:34.000 Everyone's different.

01:09:35.000 Some of them have buckles, some of them have Velco.

01:09:37.000 So they're sitting there figuring out.

01:09:38.000 And you're like, can we hurry up, please?

01:09:40.000 Let me add them.

01:09:41.000 There's only like a minute left in this fucking round.

01:09:44.000 God.

01:09:49.000 So that's jcbd.com.

01:09:51.000 Please use a promo code GAVIN.

01:09:52.000 Yeah.

01:09:54.000 Cookies were really, really good, too.

01:09:56.000 Cookies were really, really good, too.

01:09:58.000 You sound like someone under house arrest.

01:10:01.000 Hey, hey, guys, thanks for coming by.

01:10:03.000 I had some really, really good cookies today.

01:10:06.000 And I played Batman on my Xbox.

01:10:09.000 They got Snickerdoodles, too.

01:10:14.000 House Arrest would be kind of fun, wouldn't it?

01:10:17.000 I wrote three letters today.

01:10:21.000 Tommy, Christensen, John Kinsman, Max Hare.

01:10:26.000 Which at the end of the episode, there's all the info.

01:10:29.000 At the end of every episode, we have our prisoners that you should write to.

01:10:33.000 Just send them fucking half a page.

01:10:36.000 When mail day comes and you don't get anything, it's the world saying you've been forgotten, dude.

01:10:42.000 Send them anything.

01:10:44.000 Postcard anything.

01:10:46.000 We have an update.

01:10:47.000 I'm sorry.

01:10:48.000 The choppiness is gone.

01:10:49.000 So it looks good for our brand now.

01:10:52.000 So the hair is gone.

01:10:54.000 Oh, man.

01:10:55.000 And there's some updates on the Wiista Woofen.

01:11:01.000 Oh, you know what?

01:11:02.000 Let's do one more letter.

01:11:04.000 Okay.

01:11:05.000 It's from a cop, and I am biased towards cops.

01:11:08.000 Subject?

01:11:08.000 Let's call him Andy.

01:11:12.000 You teased this goddamn email on Monday, then left me hanging.

01:11:14.000 When the email wasn't addressed initially, I figured it was a shit email and a non-subject, so fuck it.

01:11:17.000 Then you allude to it on Monday, and I cannot abstain from reaching out again.

01:11:20.000 Also, I mentioned to my brother, who also subscribes, that I wrote to you after work one night, and I thought you would be addressing it in the mailbag.

01:11:27.000 He reminded me I missed a perfect opportunity to mention that dog's gotten me through a lot of hard times.

01:11:33.000 What was that from again?

01:11:36.000 I vaguely remember that that dog got me through a lot of human times.

01:11:40.000 Oh, yeah, it was some video.

01:11:41.000 We were watching some guy who was talking about his dead dog, and he was crying in the video.

01:11:45.000 And he goes, That dog's gotten me through a lot of hard times.

01:11:50.000 The only thing gayer than caring about your dog is making a video of you crying after it dies.

01:11:55.000 Like Jeffree Star?

01:11:58.000 Jeffree Star's dog died.

01:12:01.000 Believe it or not, it was kind of gay.

01:12:03.000 What?

01:12:04.000 Yeah.

01:12:05.000 Cop here.

01:12:06.000 I appreciate the humor in shitting on your family dog, and I agree with what I think is the core sentiment of your joke.

01:12:12.000 Nothing is sadder than a dog mom sticker in your car.

01:12:15.000 Dogs are not a replacement for family.

01:12:17.000 I also don't want to tear down a fourth wall and ruin an ongoing joke, but you do find value in dogs, right?

01:12:23.000 As a cop, there's obviously shit I can draw from.

01:12:25.000 I'm not a canine officer, but they've certainly helped me and guys close to me in many different situations.

01:12:29.000 I'm not calling the dogs brave because I'm not assuming they can perceive danger as we do, but it's valued nonetheless.

01:12:34.000 Sure.

01:12:35.000 I'm not against dogs existing.

01:12:37.000 And of course they play a role in law enforcement.

01:12:43.000 Aside from the obvious military and law enforcement value, dogs can be great companions.

01:12:47.000 I disagree.

01:12:49.000 I get out of work at 11 p.m., pour a drink, and my dog is there.

01:12:53.000 If I have a shitty night, the dog is there.

01:12:54.000 My kids are young, my wife works, they're asleep, but the fucking dog is up and happy to see me.

01:12:58.000 He's not happy to see you, dude.

01:13:01.000 We took a wolf, removed its balls, removed its entire reason for existing, and then made it like always hungry, always wanting, always needy.

01:13:12.000 Now, I should say, I have the shittiest fucking dog imaginable.

01:13:16.000 I have a Javanese little tiny Cuban socialist dog named Leroy.

01:13:21.000 It's my daughter's dog.

01:13:22.000 It's not my dog.

01:13:23.000 He always needs affection, especially from me, because I'm the alpha, I guess.

01:13:29.000 Although my wife, maybe she's the alpha, but I'm like, go up to the kid.

01:13:33.000 Like, I'll go, oh, hi, dog.

01:13:35.000 Yay, yes, yes, yes.

01:13:36.000 And then he wants more and more and is licking me and stuff, fuck off.

01:13:40.000 I just pet you.

01:13:42.000 Hello, hello.

01:13:45.000 There's got to be a time or two when you look down and your stupid dog was there looking at you and reached down and scruffed its stupid head and felt a little better, especially with all the ups and downs you've endured.

01:13:53.000 Absolutely not.

01:13:54.000 You might as well be talking about a stuffed animal.

01:13:58.000 And my study where I watch my Tucker Carlson's has a giant bear in it, and he's petrified in that room.

01:14:10.000 So he doesn't sit with me when I watch.

01:14:12.000 Whoa, someone already made that?

01:14:15.000 That's pretty impressive.

01:14:16.000 That's for bud, bud.

01:14:19.000 Actually, no, that sucks.

01:14:22.000 Just grabbed a bunch of shit from Google Ash.

01:14:26.000 Kind of.

01:14:27.000 Yeah, we're wanting a lot more heart in our assignments.

01:14:31.000 But yeah, you know what?

01:14:33.000 I guess if you had a German Shepherd and it's one of those dogs you could wrestle when you got home, I could see the appeal with that.

01:14:38.000 Get out of here.

01:14:39.000 I remember having, when we were in Costa Rica, we had big dogs.

01:14:43.000 We had a bull mastiff.

01:14:44.000 We had a Rottweiler called Diablo that you had to punch in the face as hard as you could to discipline.

01:14:49.000 And even then, he wouldn't like go, he would just like go, all right, I get it.

01:14:54.000 You don't like me eating cheese.

01:14:56.000 Fine.

01:14:57.000 You know what happened one time in Costa Rica?

01:14:59.000 I'm sitting talking to my wife, and we have some fruit like on this little shelf sort of outside.

01:15:07.000 And a fucking monkey, howlers are all over Costa Rica.

01:15:11.000 They're super loud, like, they're the loudest mammal, I think, in the world.

01:15:17.000 I just see him out of the corner of my eye run up, grab the mango, go, and run off.

01:15:24.000 That's kind of hilarious.

01:15:25.000 It was cool.

01:15:26.000 Monkeys stealing things.

01:15:28.000 Monkey steal, monkey do.

01:15:31.000 Wow.

01:15:34.000 So anyway, I could see the appeal of a big dog.

01:15:38.000 So maybe I'm wrong, but my stupid, needy, yappy fucking dog, when he dies, this is me before my dog dies.

01:15:48.000 This is me one minute after my dog dies.

01:15:54.000 Zero.

01:15:55.000 I'll feel bad because I know that my children are going to be crying.

01:15:58.000 But if my children moved away, I would just take a, I just pick them up by the heck and just take a straight razor and just go, try not to get blood.

01:16:10.000 A dude on the lawn.

01:16:11.000 In fact, I'd be thinking, ooh, this blood might be good for my grass.

01:16:15.000 You wouldn't necessarily enjoy it.

01:16:17.000 It would be like cutting this beer's head off.

01:16:21.000 I feel fucking zero for that dog.

01:16:24.000 Zero.

01:16:25.000 Imagine your dog was a doad.

01:16:27.000 I don't like animals in general, but I don't want any ill will.

01:16:29.000 Like, I'm not going to sit and torture it.

01:16:31.000 I'm not an Iraqi.

01:16:33.000 I'm not an Arab.

01:16:34.000 You know, they cut off dogs' ears with shearing scissors.

01:16:37.000 I'm not from the Turd world, but I don't torture plants either.

01:16:42.000 Taking care of business is all.

01:16:43.000 You know what we should do for the holiday episodes?

01:16:47.000 Go through that animal planet thing, that blue planet, and just break it down as that boring British guy talks about how wonderful they are.

01:16:54.000 Just go, this is a fucking loser.

01:16:57.000 A penguin is a shitty loser.

01:17:00.000 You carry your egg for, what, four miles with your stupid wings that don't even work?

01:17:06.000 I have something for you.

01:17:07.000 You're a fucking failure.

01:17:09.000 Do you hate robots?

01:17:10.000 I fucking hate robots.

01:17:13.000 Are animals losers?

01:17:14.000 Animals are losers.

01:17:15.000 I have something that will merge the two, and you might enjoy it.

01:17:19.000 This might turn you on both.

01:17:21.000 Okay.

01:17:23.000 Not now, but for the animals or losers special.

01:17:28.000 Okay.

01:17:29.000 Actually, I would prefer if my dog was a robot, because I would just turn him off.

01:17:34.000 And he pisses and shits in my house, by the way.

01:17:36.000 You turn him off!

01:17:36.000 That's another thing.

01:17:39.000 All right, let's take some calls.

01:17:40.000 All right.

01:17:42.000 In front of the paywall, right?

01:17:45.000 All right, so we end the show?

01:17:47.000 Yeah.

01:17:48.000 We end.

01:17:48.000 You know what we should do with the YouTube show?

01:17:50.000 Just like...

01:17:54.000 Go to snow and say the remainder of this episode, oh, you know what I talked to our guy about?

01:17:59.000 I Want all the shows on our whole website to be free for five minutes.

01:18:03.000 That's a good idea.

01:18:06.000 Although we always talk about the opening song, so people are going to think it's a music channel.

01:18:11.000 Oh, well, that's fine.

01:18:16.000 The reason I my only problem with this taking calls thing is I feel like it's not very great TV because someone is sitting here like this.

01:18:27.000 But I don't know the solution to that because you can't be searching for images and shit.

01:18:31.000 Yeah.

01:18:32.000 Because you need to be ready to hang up.

01:18:34.000 Yeah, I could hit someone.

01:18:36.000 Let's hang up on people fast tonight.

01:18:38.000 So we can get through them all.

01:18:38.000 All right.

01:18:40.000 Are we going to?

01:18:41.000 Hang up.

01:18:41.000 Thanks.

01:18:42.000 Are we taking calls or ending the show?

01:18:45.000 I already said we're going to just cut to snow.

01:18:47.000 And it'll be 20 minutes ago.

01:18:49.000 Nice.

01:18:50.000 Okay, cool.

01:18:52.000 So let's get to our caller.

01:18:54.000 Here we got T Money.

01:18:56.000 What's up, T Money?

01:18:58.000 What's up?

01:19:00.000 Why are you all gay?

01:19:02.000 How are you?

01:19:03.000 You are gay.

01:19:06.000 You are gay.

01:19:08.000 I was on the stream tonight, and it was the first time that it was coming in real choppy for me.

01:19:14.000 So I was doing some quick tests, and my download speed was really good.

01:19:18.000 So I'm wondering, yeah, watch out for that because they might be tampering with you guys already because you guys are getting good subscribers and all that.

01:19:27.000 So keep an eye on that.

01:19:28.000 You think that could be Antifa hackers?

01:19:33.000 Could be.

01:19:33.000 I don't know.

01:19:34.000 Maybe they're getting at, I don't know who your provider is to do the upload, but if it's Comcast or whoever it is, they could be getting at them and saying, throttle these guys.

01:19:43.000 They have all kinds of ways of going at people.

01:19:47.000 So I would look into it.

01:19:49.000 Keep an eye on, you know, do some Wireshark scans and just keep an eye on it.

01:19:53.000 Are you from Scarborough, Ontario?

01:19:56.000 No.

01:19:58.000 I'm from New Hampshire.

01:19:58.000 Where are you from?

01:20:01.000 Oh, you have a bit of a hoser accent.

01:20:06.000 I think I've been listening to you too much, dude.

01:20:09.000 That's what it is.

01:20:10.000 I turned you Canadian.

01:20:12.000 Why are you Canadian?

01:20:15.000 I'm a gay Canadian.

01:20:17.000 Thanks for calling.

01:20:17.000 Why are you?

01:20:18.000 Let's look into that.

01:20:22.000 We have pretty good nerds here at Censored.tv.

01:20:24.000 We sure do.

01:20:25.000 Look at that hacking stuff.

01:20:28.000 Call screen failed.

01:20:29.000 We got a guy.

01:20:30.000 He's called before.

01:20:31.000 Hello.

01:20:34.000 Hi, guys.

01:20:35.000 Hello.

01:20:36.000 Yes, I am.

01:20:40.000 Hey, what's going on, guys?

01:20:41.000 Hey, man.

01:20:42.000 What's up?

01:20:43.000 Hey, man.

01:20:45.000 I called last two weeks ago about Windy City Heat, and you told me an awesome story about Don.

01:20:54.000 Yep.

01:20:55.000 By the way, that's one of the best stories I have.

01:20:59.000 Well, I was shitting myself laughing while I listened.

01:21:04.000 The Prairie Project is not dead.

01:21:04.000 You were right.

01:21:06.000 They were on stage at the comedy club with Perry two nights ago, three nights ago.

01:21:13.000 So that's something to check out, not to be one of those guys like, yo, you should watch this video.

01:21:18.000 But also, thank you for turning me on to Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead.

01:21:25.000 I've been reading that every day now.

01:21:27.000 It's a really great book, especially when he talks about who to marry.

01:21:32.000 I didn't get there.

01:21:33.000 I'm at, is your boss an asshole and how to deal with emails and work stuff?

01:21:39.000 Yeah.

01:21:40.000 I like the, have you at the part there where he goes, stop saying like.

01:21:46.000 Yes.

01:21:47.000 Yeah.

01:21:48.000 And he addresses he and she pronouns.

01:21:50.000 I don't know when that was pressed or printed, but he was addressing he or she pronouns before that was even a thing, I believe.

01:21:58.000 I don't know.

01:21:59.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

01:22:00.000 I think that's when right when it started.

01:22:04.000 Okay, next call.

01:22:07.000 Christopher.

01:22:10.000 Christopher.

01:22:12.000 Hey, hey, Gavin Ryan.

01:22:14.000 On dogs, dogs, real quick.

01:22:15.000 I have a dog who I wrestle every day when I get home.

01:22:18.000 She's great.

01:22:18.000 She finds birds and shit in the bushes for me to shoot.

01:22:22.000 Are you in the country?

01:22:24.000 No, I'm in south of Seattle, so there's a couple spots I can go hunting.

01:22:29.000 But I think there's a lot of value there for dogs.

01:22:33.000 I can see that.

01:22:35.000 Anyways, I think it was about a month or two ago there were some indications you were thinking of bringing Nick Fontes onto the lineup.

01:22:42.000 I think people were going ape shit on the phone lines.

01:22:46.000 I remember a live show, and there were probably seven or eight callers you were talking to who were up in arms about it.

01:22:52.000 There's a lot of talk about Michelle Malkin being a piece of shit from the con ink talking heads, but couldn't really point to anything besides her saying she won't answer questions about Nick Fuentez when the only thing she was saying about him was that he deserves free speech.

01:23:07.000 Seeing as how Nick Fuentes just recently hit his second strike on YouTube, do you think that he might be more likely to join your lineup?

01:23:16.000 And secondly, do you think that Connink with their two main fingers knuckle deep and the left pussy is as bad as it sounds?

01:23:25.000 Like, think Turning Point kowtowing to immigration and unsecure borders.

01:23:30.000 Like more than a friend.

01:23:32.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:23:33.000 Yeah, Turning Point made a few mistakes where they said that every student visa should come with a green card stapled to it or whatever.

01:23:41.000 But he took that back.

01:23:44.000 I hate infighting on the right.

01:23:47.000 We need unity.

01:23:49.000 Do you think I really like half of these fuckers?

01:23:51.000 Not on Censor.tv, but a lot of these fuckers on the right are absolute nerds.

01:23:57.000 And I know I spent half the show shitting on Conservative Inc., so I guess I'm part of it.

01:24:02.000 But I like Chirley Kark.

01:24:06.000 I like Bon Shapiro.

01:24:10.000 Well, yeah, Nark Fox.

01:24:12.000 I like Big Bear.

01:24:13.000 I like all of these guys.

01:24:15.000 I think they're important.

01:24:17.000 I mean, I'm very frustrated by Conservative Inc.

01:24:19.000 and a lot of the people at Fox News, but I don't really shit on them.

01:24:24.000 Well, I do shit on them.

01:24:26.000 I'm not very good with consistency, am I?

01:24:28.000 We don't give a damn.

01:24:30.000 I think Nick Fuentes would be a very interesting addition to this network.

01:24:35.000 By the way, he's not clamoring to get on, so that's a whole other thing.

01:24:41.000 I think my goal here, without really pulling back too much of the curtain, is to show that the right can be weird and funny, too.

01:24:49.000 I kind of want to be the Howard Stern of the right in a sense.

01:24:54.000 And that involves a lot of stupidity, a lot of weirdos, a lot of pop culture talk, movie reviews and stuff.

01:25:03.000 It's fun.

01:25:04.000 Yeah, I'm not really smart enough to break down the new budget plan and why it will work and why we need health care for all and all that shit.

01:25:15.000 All right, next call.

01:25:17.000 Mike, that was a terrible response, by the way.

01:25:19.000 Mike on Lent.

01:25:22.000 Hey, what's going on, guys?

01:25:24.000 Hey, man.

01:25:27.000 So I was listening to an old podcast from your later years, and you've talked about it a few times before, but the time that you met up with Tommy Lee and you did the boner joke, and it was weird.

01:25:47.000 It made me think of a story that I'm going to make it quick, but not sounding very quick.

01:25:56.000 I know, I know, sorry.

01:26:00.000 So my girlfriend at the time, well, she still has a daughter, but she has a daughter.

01:26:07.000 And we just, we first met, and we were going to a Halloween party.

01:26:14.000 And it was going to be with all of her daughter's teachers and everything like that.

01:26:20.000 And I was super nervous.

01:26:22.000 So I was like, well, I'll have a couple of drinks and, you know, calm down, a little liquor courage to meet everybody because I didn't know anybody.

01:26:32.000 And so I have a few drinks and stuff like that.

01:26:35.000 And then it kind of, I'm like, wow, okay.

01:26:39.000 I'll have another one.

01:26:40.000 I'll have another one.

01:26:40.000 And then I was like, oh, shit.

01:26:43.000 I'm kind of drunk now.

01:26:46.000 And so we get there, and it's a really awesome Halloween party.

01:26:50.000 They have amazing decorations and everything.

01:26:54.000 They have this huge witch flying across the ceiling.

01:27:00.000 And is this story going to get good at some point?

01:27:07.000 Okay.

01:27:08.000 Maybe not.

01:27:09.000 I don't know.

01:27:10.000 Did somebody die?

01:27:13.000 Is there celebrity in this story?

01:27:14.000 And then Tom Green comes out and does an ollie off of a fucking...

01:27:22.000 No, what happened was...

01:27:24.000 So I wanted to say, I wanted to say, in my drunk mind, I wanted to say, oh, that witch is really awesome.

01:27:35.000 Because I was trying to meet people.

01:27:37.000 I was trying to spark conversation.

01:27:40.000 But all that my drunk mind could come up with was that witch is really haunting.

01:27:51.000 And then everybody goes, okay.

01:27:58.000 Anyways.

01:27:59.000 How old are you?

01:28:00.000 And it was, I'm 35.

01:28:03.000 What made you think that story was worth hearing?

01:28:08.000 The alcohol in my system.

01:28:10.000 Dude, you have a new story to tell now.

01:28:13.000 I would rather make out with Gary than endure that story.

01:28:19.000 Thank you for calling.

01:28:22.000 Well, I'm a good.

01:28:24.000 He has a better story.

01:28:24.000 Wow.

01:28:25.000 He's like, so I called him the show telling the story about the shitty story.

01:28:28.000 Yeah, you should do a show with us.

01:28:33.000 You have your own show.

01:28:34.000 We're starting a new website called shitty.com.

01:28:38.000 You can actually own the company.

01:28:40.000 Or I'm president.

01:28:40.000 Yeah.

01:28:43.000 My heart goes out for him because my story is.

01:28:45.000 Shitty.com's taken.

01:28:47.000 It's learning more about the opportunities that exist with this domain name called Domain Ventures.

01:28:52.000 Oh, shit.

01:28:53.000 If you're going to buy shitty.com, do something with it.

01:28:56.000 We got shit.com.

01:28:57.000 We got Daniel.

01:28:58.000 Daniel's going to be shit.com.

01:29:01.000 Daniel, you're the person that thought he could renew the rating system with women.

01:29:05.000 That was a bomb.

01:29:06.000 Let's see what you got today.

01:29:08.000 I looked up shit.com.

01:29:09.000 It's a porn site.

01:29:10.000 How are you guys?

01:29:11.000 You good?

01:29:12.000 Yeah, we're good.

01:29:13.000 How you doing?

01:29:15.000 Yeah, good.

01:29:15.000 Thanks, mate.

01:29:16.000 How are you?

01:29:17.000 Hey, look, I've got a little bit of a question.

01:29:21.000 Yeah, get out of here, guys.

01:29:23.000 Your system on rating women, I just don't understand.

01:29:26.000 So my mom is everything that you would want.

01:29:30.000 Like, if you saw my mom, you'd want to have sex with my mom.

01:29:33.000 She's your kind of 10 from everything that you talk about, right?

01:29:36.000 Why are you trying to sell your mom?

01:29:40.000 I'm a bit of a pimp.

01:29:43.000 Okay.

01:29:44.000 Shit.com appears to be all women masturbating.

01:29:48.000 I just think of their father.

01:29:52.000 All right, look.

01:29:52.000 He can host.

01:29:53.000 Anyway, how does this system work?

01:29:55.000 How does the system work?

01:29:56.000 Because here's the thing.

01:29:57.000 I see brunettes and I don't feel attracted to brunettes because I think my mum is.

01:30:03.000 So do you think the system works with different people in different contexts?

01:30:06.000 That's actually a good question, sir.

01:30:09.000 I feel the same way about big-titted blondes, but I'm not blind.

01:30:14.000 So like Pamela Anderson at her peak is not my type at all, but I can take myself out of the equation and look at Pamela Anderson at her peak and go, that's an 8.9.

01:30:28.000 I would be stupid.

01:30:29.000 Here's what I'm saying.

01:30:32.000 Like I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but I wouldn't masturbate to Pamela Anderson at her peak, but she's still an 8.9, and I can see that with my own eyes.

01:30:44.000 Okay.

01:30:44.000 Yeah.

01:30:45.000 All right.

01:30:47.000 All right.

01:30:48.000 Thanks for calling.

01:30:50.000 Like we all have our little quirks and quirks.

01:30:53.000 I like bad teeth sometimes.

01:30:55.000 Gap in the teeth, wandering eye.

01:30:59.000 Alligator arms, beanbag body.

01:31:02.000 You got alligator arms, you got a beanbag body, and I fucking bombed with you.

01:31:10.000 You're on the line.

01:31:13.000 Hello?

01:31:14.000 Oh, a girl.

01:31:15.000 Hello, hello.

01:31:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:16.000 Hello?

01:31:20.000 Here's me doing a girl saying hello.

01:31:22.000 You ready?

01:31:24.000 Are you ready, ma'am?

01:31:26.000 Go ahead.

01:31:26.000 Hello?

01:31:27.000 Yes, go ahead.

01:31:28.000 Hello?

01:31:29.000 Hello?

01:31:29.000 There's definitely a delay.

01:31:31.000 Hello?

01:31:32.000 Hello.

01:31:34.000 Okay, go ahead.

01:31:36.000 Okay, so just really quick, I have a more profound comment, but I have advice for you about urinating in the bed.

01:31:46.000 Go on Amazon.

01:31:47.000 Go on Amazon and get medical peep.

01:31:52.000 There's P-Pads, okay?

01:31:53.000 This should not be a difficult issue for you.

01:31:56.000 And your wife does not want another kid in the house, and you have to take care of this.

01:32:01.000 It must be a big issue.

01:32:04.000 But go on Amazon, look up P-Pads and get like seven of them and then wash them, bleach them, put them in the washer, and have a supply of fresh ones that you put out on the couch or bed, wherever you go.

01:32:17.000 No, she can't see those.

01:32:18.000 That's just as bad.

01:32:21.000 No, no, you have to hot.

01:32:22.000 You have to.

01:32:23.000 Well, if she's there at night, and you're going to have to be a little sneaky about it.

01:32:28.000 Oh, I'm caught up.

01:32:29.000 take care of this yourself.

01:32:34.000 That's very helpful, actually.

01:32:35.000 You know, I wet the couch last night, and it was my wife's birthday.

01:32:40.000 There's no excuse for that.

01:32:42.000 It's going to hurt your marriage, and she doesn't want another child in the house, and you have to cover this.

01:32:47.000 And then, if there is urine smell on any of your furniture, get a enzyme cleaner that they sell, like at Petco, and that will remove any kind of urine smell that a dog would not be able to detect.

01:33:01.000 You want to just give Gab and your husband's number you guys could both commiserate?

01:33:08.000 How do you know that?

01:33:08.000 Get an enzyme cleaner.

01:33:10.000 Well, I'm a mom.

01:33:12.000 Well, here's the thing about my pee, though.

01:33:14.000 When I pee the couch, it's like it's after drinking 100 of these.

01:33:19.000 So the pee's already clear, but it's being filtered through my underwear and my pants.

01:33:26.000 So what comes out is basically not pee.

01:33:31.000 Okay, so okay, it's like it's water.

01:33:34.000 It's not like taking a dark yellow morning pea on your couch.

01:33:37.000 Yeah, it's not sunshine, but still there's an accumulated effect.

01:33:42.000 And this is your responsibility.

01:33:43.000 You don't want it affecting your marriage.

01:33:45.000 Okay, so what I really wanted to call about is that you're very right about women and the Weinstein situation.

01:33:53.000 You're absolutely correct.

01:33:55.000 There's a lot of gray area there.

01:33:58.000 Why are women that are so strong and powerful and feminist, why do they put themselves in these vulnerable positions?

01:34:08.000 And I think you're almost there, but you need to understand women's psychology.

01:34:14.000 When they look at men, they don't see men.

01:34:18.000 They see hairy women.

01:34:20.000 They see women that, you know, they just treat them like other women with balls.

01:34:27.000 They don't understand a male sexual desire or a predatorial nature at all.

01:34:34.000 And in the Western canon, to understand like the code of chivalry, that was not just a fluffy thing.

01:34:42.000 That was, you know, it's been taken over by fairy tales now.

01:34:46.000 But the code of chivalry was a very serious code of honor and moral conduct.

01:34:52.000 And that was always the tradition.

01:34:54.000 And women have rejected that and men have thrown this away.

01:34:57.000 But women need to be protected.

01:35:00.000 So they go into these situations so outrageously naive, not understanding this predatorial male that they're with and not understanding danger.

01:35:12.000 And women need to be protected.

01:35:14.000 You know, you have to raise your daughter to have this that, you know, not to trust.

01:35:22.000 And they trust men.

01:35:24.000 They trust men that haven't earned it.

01:35:27.000 And it's not, just, I don't know how else to put this.

01:35:35.000 They need to be protected, but yet this is not what we do.

01:35:39.000 We go, we don't need to be protected, but they're grotesquely naive in these situations.

01:35:46.000 And that's a very what I've got to say about that.

01:35:49.000 That's a very astute way of putting it.

01:35:51.000 But I think you're conflating two different scenarios here.

01:35:54.000 One, women in general out there in the world need to know that they're not badass bitches.

01:36:01.000 Like we went after we did the after we did the show last week, I went back to my suburb, go to my local watering hole, and this friend of our family, this Asian woman, who my daughter is friends with her daughter, is absolutely fucking polluted, like destroyed.

01:36:19.000 And there's some guy who thinks he's going to fuck her that night.

01:36:22.000 And now I have to give up my night and make sure I'm not sabotaging her date, but also like, hey, here's your phone.

01:36:29.000 You got to call an Uber.

01:36:30.000 Get her out of the bar.

01:36:32.000 Pour her into her Uber like she's a fucking milkshake.

01:36:35.000 And then the dude that was going to fuck her is all like, where to go, dude?

01:36:38.000 Yeah, where to save the day.

01:36:41.000 So that's one world.

01:36:42.000 But the Harvey Weinstein thing, I think, is different.

01:36:45.000 When these women are interacting with him, it's not like that drunk chick at the bar.

01:36:49.000 These women are walking into the Dragon's Lair.

01:36:52.000 They know the culture of Hollywood.

01:36:53.000 Everyone's heard the term casting couch.

01:36:56.000 And they go there and they blow him and whatever.

01:37:00.000 And then it goes a little farther than they thought it was, or sometimes a lot farther.

01:37:04.000 And they don't call the cops the next day.

01:37:06.000 They accept a plane ticket to Khan.

01:37:08.000 That pisses me off.

01:37:10.000 That's unique.

01:37:12.000 Yes, but I also say that women are, like you hear Jordan Peterson talk about this a lot, women in trait agreeableness, they're more embarrassed to say, you know, they're happy to say it about abortion, my body, my rules.

01:37:30.000 But when it comes to these situations with a man, that's an authority figure, and they don't have the bulk.

01:37:37.000 Like, you know, Peterson always talks about women have to get in touch with the masculine to be fully awake, like the story of Sleeping Beauty.

01:37:48.000 And one of the things, like, I've been married for, well, I've been with my husband for 30 years, but married for 20.

01:37:55.000 And, you know, I don't suffer fools.

01:37:57.000 I live with the alpha male.

01:37:59.000 And now it's like if a guy said to me, like, blocks my way and said he was going to masturbate in a tree, I'd say, get me a knife.

01:38:08.000 I'm going to cut your balls off and shove it down your throat.

01:38:11.000 Because that's what my husband would do.

01:38:13.000 You know, so I have like, I have there women like this, they act tough, but there's this delicate, feminine, I'm scared to talk to an alpha male inside.

01:38:27.000 And they really have this.

01:38:29.000 This is the code.

01:38:30.000 This is in the Western canon, the code of chivalry, which is to protect women because they need it.

01:38:36.000 And you have in the Middle East, you have to be covered.

01:38:39.000 If you show your ankle, you get hit with a lead pipe.

01:38:42.000 And in Brazil, they have carnival.

01:38:45.000 But like here, can we have something in the middle?

01:38:48.000 Like something in the, like in the middle?

01:38:51.000 Like you're saying, women are not modest.

01:38:54.000 You know, like I just, you know, Edith had the great costume designer in Hollywood, said, you've got to wear a dress tight enough to, you know, show that you're a woman, but, you know, loose enough to show that you're a lady.

01:39:10.000 And all of this has been lost.

01:39:13.000 But I do, I don't want to just keep rambling.

01:39:16.000 No, no.

01:39:17.000 You know what's interesting about what you said, too?

01:39:19.000 You talk about your husband knowing that he would kick someone's ass.

01:39:26.000 Not only does that empower you, but you feel like, all right, I'm going to go report this because I have someone who has my back.

01:39:33.000 Lauren Savon is the woman who was with Harvey Weinstein when he masturbated into a plant.

01:39:39.000 I know Lauren.

01:39:40.000 At this time, I believe she was single.

01:39:43.000 She's notoriously single.

01:39:44.000 She's hopping from relationship to relationship.

01:39:47.000 And most of her friends appear to be gay men.

01:39:50.000 So she doesn't have a network of chivalrous men.

01:39:54.000 And that might be why, when he beat off into a plant, she sort of was like, I'm alone.

01:40:00.000 No one can help me here.

01:40:03.000 And they crumble.

01:40:05.000 And even the thing with what is the guy who committed suicide, I'm doing air quotes.

01:40:13.000 Anthony Bourdain?

01:40:14.000 Oh, Jeffrey Epstein.

01:40:16.000 No, no.

01:40:17.000 Yeah, CSS, CSS.

01:40:19.000 He had like headhunters getting these young girls.

01:40:22.000 Right.

01:40:23.000 And there's nothing more naive in the world than a teenage girl because she's got nothing but romance and Cinderella and just, you know, addicted to, look at women, you know, their porn is romance novels.

01:40:38.000 So all that shit just gets in their head and they have no idea what they're facing.

01:40:44.000 It's just naivete.

01:40:45.000 And like you're saying, this reporter, you know, it's true, just a little girl inside who's ashamed and doesn't want to report.

01:40:55.000 But I don't know.

01:40:56.000 It always touched me.

01:40:57.000 Peterson said that, you know, the story of Sleeping Beauty was that the kiss was not a male saving the girl.

01:41:06.000 The kiss was that she was in touch, but she had to get in touch with the masculine to become fully awake.

01:41:14.000 And that's like, that's, well, that's certainly been my experience as a 20-year-old.

01:41:20.000 I probably would have been a victim of sexual assault or not reported.

01:41:24.000 But now as a very wise, savvy, older woman, I certainly would.

01:41:29.000 So I'm trying to teach my daughter, you know, my body, my rules comes to, you know, it's not about abortion.

01:41:36.000 It's about, you know, your body is, you have to fight.

01:41:40.000 Your chastity has value.

01:41:42.000 This whole concept of slut walks and sex should be fun and be proud to be a slut.

01:41:48.000 It says chastity is invaluable.

01:41:50.000 And the next thing you know, they're just throwing it away.

01:41:52.000 They have to understand it's like a bank account.

01:41:54.000 And being a slut is throwing it away.

01:41:57.000 And they have to know that they have someone's back.

01:41:59.000 All right.

01:41:59.000 Thanks for your call.

01:42:00.000 You're very interesting and intelligent.

01:42:02.000 So I spent too much time on you.

01:42:05.000 All right.

01:42:06.000 Next we got would you rather?

01:42:10.000 Was that mean the way I got me up there?

01:42:11.000 No, no.

01:42:12.000 It was very good.

01:42:14.000 Would you rather call it a game?

01:42:16.000 Yes, for Gavin, would you rather live with a robot that you can't turn off or allow flip-flops to be worn in your home?

01:42:24.000 Or what was the second part?

01:42:27.000 Or allowing flip-flops to be worn in your home.

01:42:31.000 I do allow flip-flops to be worn in my home, and my wife does wear them occasionally, especially in the summer.

01:42:39.000 So I've already taken that hit.

01:42:43.000 And I don't mind my family's feet.

01:42:44.000 Oh, wow.

01:42:45.000 It's strange men's feet that really drive me fucking nuts.

01:42:49.000 Bill Schultz?

01:42:51.000 Bill Schultz wears fucking flip-flops basically from March to December.

01:42:57.000 Well, they're comfortable.

01:42:59.000 But thanks for your call, sir.

01:43:01.000 Let me rephrase, let me redesign his would you rather.

01:43:05.000 Would you rather live with a robot or live in a city like New York that's just 100% flip-flops?

01:43:11.000 That's a better one.

01:43:19.000 I would live with a robot and just fucking abuse it and scream at it and yell at it and smash it to bits.

01:43:25.000 Wait, what are you going to do?

01:43:27.000 It might be cathartic, actually, to have some dumb Sophie there.

01:43:31.000 I am here for you.

01:43:33.000 Hi, welcome home.

01:43:34.000 Shut the fuck up.

01:43:36.000 With coronavirus something.

01:43:38.000 All right?

01:43:41.000 Yeah, Kevin, it's an honor.

01:43:44.000 Oh, thanks.

01:43:49.000 Alex Jones talked on YouTube and was all over the coronavirus saying how underblown it's been.

01:43:59.000 And even Tim Poole has mentioned it a few times.

01:44:06.000 Do you have any input on it?

01:44:07.000 I don't give a shit about China.

01:44:10.000 I honestly don't give a shit if it sinks into the sea.

01:44:12.000 And they keep showing us all this footage of the police and how corrupt they are and the riots.

01:44:18.000 And even with coronavirus, they're welding people into their apartments.

01:44:21.000 And I'm looking at it going, yeah, I know.

01:44:23.000 It's a fucking shithole.

01:44:24.000 Of course they murdered some woman who crossed the line in a quarantine zone.

01:44:30.000 Yeah, I figured they would.

01:44:31.000 They fucking murder Muslims on a regular basis to steal organs.

01:44:35.000 Who gives a shit about China?

01:44:39.000 Sorry for interrupting.

01:44:40.000 They're going door to door, actually.

01:44:42.000 Anybody that's got a sniffle, they're going to concentration camps.

01:44:46.000 But they're projecting the estimates in November was around 75,000 that actually were able to fly and whatnot before there was any restrictions or anything.

01:45:00.000 But wonder if there was any concern or any news.

01:45:04.000 No, it's not going to get here.

01:45:05.000 It won't be an issue here.

01:45:07.000 There's what, eight cases here, some shit?

01:45:09.000 63 cases?

01:45:11.000 Boring.

01:45:12.000 I mean, the more people, the flu, the flu kills thousands of people every year.

01:45:17.000 But I think that China lost 80 million people to the Great Leap Forward, the Maoist purge, and they don't fucking care.

01:45:27.000 There's statues of Mao everywhere.

01:45:29.000 So if you don't care about 80 million of your own people dying, then I don't care that 100,000 of you are dying.

01:45:35.000 That's communism in a nutshell.

01:45:38.000 Thanks for calling.

01:45:42.000 Sorry, dude.

01:45:43.000 Kyle.

01:45:46.000 Hey, KY.

01:45:47.000 Hello.

01:45:54.000 Long silence.

01:45:55.000 Oh, hello.

01:45:56.000 Hey.

01:45:57.000 Hello.

01:45:58.000 Hello?

01:46:02.000 Hello?

01:46:06.000 Can you get a beer, Ryan?

01:46:07.000 Sure.

01:46:07.000 Hey, I was just talking about trade jobs and construction.

01:46:14.000 Okay.

01:46:17.000 Yeah, I run a construction company, and I was just saying more people should do trade jobs.

01:46:22.000 It's a great alternative to college.

01:46:26.000 You know, I was talking to a guy tonight who works in construction, and he said, there's two murderers that work with me, because I was worried about Max and John and Tommy not getting jobs after they get out.

01:46:39.000 And he said, no, I work with two murderers.

01:46:41.000 And he said, one murderer got in because he had family connections with the union.

01:46:46.000 And this was back when connections mattered, like five years ago.

01:46:49.000 And then he said, the black guy, they were just clamoring to get black guys.

01:46:53.000 So they totally ignored the thing about being an ex-con and a felon.

01:46:58.000 Yeah.

01:46:59.000 I mean, it's a great job.

01:47:00.000 You make a good living.

01:47:02.000 Just get to riff all day.

01:47:04.000 It's fun.

01:47:05.000 And you may like, I don't know where you are, but in New York City, a plumber who works for the city, like say he does the plumbing for City Hall kind of thing, I know that's obviously a top-tier plumbing position.

01:47:17.000 That guy makes $280,000 a year.

01:47:21.000 Yeah, I'm in LA, but it's crazy.

01:47:26.000 The people that work for the city, I mean, they get the most plus jobs.

01:47:30.000 Wait, haven't illegal aliens ravaged your industry?

01:47:36.000 Well, we build swimming pools.

01:47:38.000 I'm actually a construction owner.

01:47:43.000 But not really.

01:47:44.000 The only industries that have really been affected are like masonry because they just totally undercut it.

01:47:51.000 Like gardeners are doing all the masonry work now.

01:47:54.000 So that kind of stuff.

01:47:56.000 Yeah.

01:47:57.000 All right.

01:47:57.000 Well, good to know.

01:47:58.000 Thanks for your call.

01:47:59.000 Everyone should get a fucking trade.

01:48:01.000 Get out of school.

01:48:02.000 It's a waste of time.

01:48:06.000 Hello, Topher.

01:48:08.000 Topher.

01:48:09.000 Hey, Chose.

01:48:11.000 Hey.

01:48:12.000 Sorry about your name, dude.

01:48:16.000 Well, it's real nice, Chris.

01:48:18.000 Chris Topher.

01:48:19.000 Oh, I ran across.

01:48:22.000 Yeah.

01:48:23.000 Anyway, Gavin, I wanted to thank you for three things.

01:48:26.000 The Biffy Bidet, getting me to come to my senses to not wearing jeans while working out.

01:48:35.000 And Jerry Cinnamon.

01:48:38.000 You used to wear jeans to work out?

01:48:42.000 Yeah.

01:48:42.000 Actually, the day you were talking about it, I was literally at the gym in jeans, and I looked down, holy shit.

01:48:49.000 Yeah, I got to do something about this.

01:48:50.000 I work 5'12, and we got five little kids at home, and so I go on my lunch break, and my 10 minutes going changing, and I realize my dignity is more important after you guys were talking about that.

01:49:02.000 Well, Joe Biggs gets all pissy about it.

01:49:04.000 He's like, no, man, I'm going to retrain.

01:49:05.000 If I'm training to fight, I'm going to be fighting wearing jeans, so I should wear jeans when I train to fight.

01:49:09.000 That's a great point, though.

01:49:10.000 No, then you got wet jeans.

01:49:14.000 Yeah.

01:49:15.000 I always knew it was a bad look.

01:49:16.000 I just thought my 10 minutes could save me, but it's really not that big a deal.

01:49:22.000 It makes you look like an orphan.

01:49:23.000 I've been having a problem with my Biffy recently.

01:49:25.000 I might need a new one.

01:49:26.000 But as I splash, spray my ass, water shoots out the back.

01:49:30.000 And then when I put the lid down, I look at the back of the lid, and there's a couple shit particles in water that are sort of resting behind the bidet.

01:49:38.000 I mean, behind the screen.

01:49:39.000 Mine hasn't done that yet.

01:49:40.000 I've had it for a year now.

01:49:42.000 Probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.

01:49:46.000 I look forward to my work.

01:49:48.000 Anyway, I wanted to see what you thought about getting old Pop's Jimmy McKinnis a show.

01:49:54.000 I could listen to him pontificate for hours.

01:49:58.000 Probably not interested or probably it's not something good idea.

01:50:02.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.

01:50:03.000 You know, the problem with my dad is he'll never get around to doing it himself, but I am going to visit him in Florida soon.

01:50:11.000 I could just set him up with a camera and just let him go off and we could cut it into 15-minute segments.

01:50:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:50:22.000 That's a great fucking idea.

01:50:24.000 I'm going to bring a camera to Florida.

01:50:28.000 I can't get enough McInnes', so that'd be awesome if that happened.

01:50:32.000 Thanks for your call.

01:50:32.000 all right, dude.

01:50:35.000 Okay, Elvis.

01:50:37.000 No, that's not such a great idea, though, because it'd be funnier if he was like reporting on the news.

01:50:43.000 Maybe I should just make him a regular Skype guest.

01:50:46.000 There you go, like the Jimmy report.

01:50:48.000 Let's check in with Jimmy McInnes.

01:50:50.000 Yeah, I'll bring him down that funny hat.

01:50:54.000 All right, next.

01:50:55.000 Get him a Lynxus camera or whatever the hell this is.

01:50:57.000 Elvis, talking about the Crowdboys.

01:51:01.000 Crowdboys, probably.

01:51:02.000 Yeah, hey, hey, guys.

01:51:03.000 How do you do tonight?

01:51:04.000 Hey.

01:51:06.000 Is your name Elvis?

01:51:07.000 I just wanted to ask.

01:51:08.000 Yeah, mama named me Elvis.

01:51:10.000 I never met a white Elvis before.

01:51:12.000 They always seem to be Hispanic.

01:51:14.000 I actually am Hispanic, half Hispanic, so you won't be able to tell by my lack of an accent.

01:51:23.000 But yeah, you know, Gavin, I was actually wondering, I'm here in New York City, grew up in Los Angeles.

01:51:28.000 I was actually wondering if you'd ever think about, you know, restarting the Cowboys New York City chapter.

01:51:34.000 Just because, I mean, in all honesty, like, I feel like there's being in Los Angeles and being in New York, there's so many people that are anti-Trump that even just finding a group of people that are more of the conservative movement and have the pride of being patriots that the Cowboys have, and there's nobody's presence like that in the city anymore.

01:51:56.000 Dude, your line sucks.

01:51:57.000 I can't really hear you.

01:52:00.000 Sorry, I'm on cell phones.

01:52:00.000 Damn it.

01:52:03.000 I'm on cell phones.

01:52:06.000 Yeah.

01:52:06.000 So you're saying, do I regret starting the Proud Boys?

01:52:10.000 No, no.

01:52:11.000 I was actually wondering if you were ever going to start another New York City chapter.

01:52:15.000 But there is a New York City chapter.

01:52:18.000 Yeah, I was on the website, though, but I just noticed that it said no upcoming information on the chapter, like if they weren't opened or anything like that.

01:52:26.000 That was one of the things that I was wondering.

01:52:29.000 Well, the problem with the New York City chapter is that de Blasio and Cuomo are determined to turn it into a hate group, and they come down on the bar that used to host them.

01:52:41.000 So they've sort of morphed into another thing I won't get into the details of, another way to meet.

01:52:49.000 Could be squash.

01:52:51.000 Could be golf.

01:52:53.000 But yeah, New York is a very unique scenario because we started the thing here, but the fucking authorities became obsessed with it.

01:53:03.000 There was an entire NYP division devoted to deporting me.

01:53:08.000 They obviously threw two guys in prison for four years.

01:53:13.000 All the cops that were Proud Boys quit because they were told they would be fired if they were ever discovered.

01:53:20.000 So it's a weird...

01:53:24.000 It really is.

01:53:26.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:53:28.000 Someone was talking the other day, and I say, you sound like you're talking in the Soviet Union.

01:53:34.000 I can't remember what they were saying, but they're like, you have to be very careful to make sure this doesn't get interpreted as that, and you should probably just not say this.

01:53:42.000 And I go, are we in fucking Moscow?

01:53:47.000 Got a call about movies.

01:53:51.000 Hey, man.

01:53:52.000 Hey, man.

01:53:54.000 Hey, guys.

01:53:55.000 I don't know.

01:53:56.000 I'm really excited to be calling you guys.

01:53:58.000 But anywho, so, Gavin?

01:54:02.000 Yep.

01:54:02.000 I was wondering if you ever watched the Mad Max movie?

01:54:10.000 In fact, in high school, we would have Mad Max Night where we'd watch all three.

01:54:10.000 Of course.

01:54:15.000 And it takes a long fucking time to watch three Mad Max movies.

01:54:21.000 So we would be up till 5 in the morning.

01:54:23.000 But I have all three Mad Max movies memorized.

01:54:26.000 The first one's a bit of a mess.

01:54:28.000 The first one doesn't really have a plot per se.

01:54:34.000 But Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome are fucking masterpieces.

01:54:41.000 Why?

01:54:42.000 Awesome.

01:54:43.000 Did you saw the Raz one, though?

01:54:44.000 The one that came out like two or three years ago?

01:54:48.000 Yeah, it was okay.

01:54:49.000 It was alright.

01:54:50.000 Thomas Hardy being built in Quiet Pants.

01:54:54.000 That was the reason I'm calling.

01:54:58.000 I'm really getting really good at and connecting and being really conspiracy about a lot of things thanks to you guys, which is absolutely amazing.

01:55:09.000 And I noticed that actually that movie talks about masculinity in a whole new level.

01:55:15.000 You have to understand that in that new movie, all the women are actually deciding to go and die in the desert.

01:55:22.000 They decide to take all of their food, all of their supplies, all of their resources, and actually go deep inside more desert.

01:55:32.000 It is actually Mad Max who says, not only first, he says that he wants to make his own way, he actually stops them and brings them back and actually makes them win.

01:55:42.000 Because in a matchurgy, that's what they want.

01:55:45.000 They want to go to the desert and kill us all.

01:55:47.000 It takes one brave man to actually stop them and actually say, hey, you know what?

01:55:53.000 You're going to die.

01:55:54.000 You're actually taking us to die.

01:55:58.000 Yeah, that was a cool angle.

01:55:59.000 And the woman who's the badass bitch who takes over everything, she doesn't fare very well.

01:56:06.000 And women who give birth, the pregnant women, are treated like they're sentient beings, which is great.

01:56:13.000 That's what we're going for.

01:56:15.000 And it's absolutely amazing.

01:56:18.000 Yeah, and the other thing I loved about it is the bad guys, the bald guys, the suicidal guys that sniff that crack, that seemed to me to be an attack on jihadists.

01:56:29.000 Because they're suicide bombers.

01:56:31.000 That's a really interesting take.

01:56:34.000 Yeah, amazing.

01:56:36.000 Anyway, I like you more than a friend, and thank you.

01:56:40.000 All right, thanks for talking.

01:56:42.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:56:43.000 Thank you for all the work you're doing.

01:56:45.000 Cheers.

01:56:46.000 Appreciate it.

01:56:48.000 Got Robert.

01:56:50.000 Robert.

01:56:51.000 Kobe.

01:56:53.000 Hello.

01:56:55.000 Hey, I called a couple weeks ago about a couple bodies that were hanging out in the Hard Rock Hotel that collapsed in New Orleans.

01:57:04.000 I remember.

01:57:04.000 And when I hung up, yeah, when I hung up, Gavin, he was mouthing off.

01:57:08.000 He's like, you can't really see the bodies.

01:57:11.000 You can.

01:57:12.000 If you look up legs exposed, hard rock collapse, you can see them.

01:57:18.000 But anyway, I wanted to call because I noticed that on the streams and even on this live stream, I would see like it's like a one-frame thing.

01:57:26.000 It comes in, it's like Gavin wearing a gorilla mask, and then it disappears.

01:57:30.000 And I don't know what that's from, but it keeps me.

01:57:34.000 What do I type in for the hard rock hotel thing?

01:57:36.000 I'm trying to look it up, but is there like a specific website?

01:57:41.000 Or just legs exposed?

01:57:43.000 Google?

01:57:44.000 Yeah.

01:57:44.000 Legs exposed, hard rock hotel thing.

01:57:46.000 We don't use Google.

01:57:47.000 We use DuckDuckGo and Brave.

01:57:50.000 Okay, well, thanks for your call.

01:57:51.000 We're going to look that up and try to find those arms and legs hanging out.

01:57:57.000 Actually, I don't really care.

01:57:58.000 I was trying to find it last week, though.

01:58:00.000 Let's do the next call.

01:58:02.000 All right.

01:58:04.000 Let's see if I can keep looking forward.

01:58:06.000 James, running out of time.

01:58:10.000 What's up, guys?

01:58:11.000 Hey, man.

01:58:12.000 Hello, dude.

01:58:13.000 How's it going, AZ?

01:58:15.000 I was calling because of that Tyson Fury Dante Wilder fight.

01:58:19.000 I was wondering if with it coming up, you'd got Larry would do the first fight and giving his opinion on who would win the second fight.

01:58:27.000 Because I'm looking to put some money with Bet DSI on that shit.

01:58:31.000 Put your money on Deontay Wilder.

01:58:33.000 He has two cinder blocks for fists.

01:58:37.000 All he has to do is connect.

01:58:38.000 But the Gypsy King, he's got that gypsy magic, you know?

01:58:42.000 Yep.

01:58:44.000 I don't know.

01:58:46.000 Tyson is a worthy adversary.

01:58:47.000 All the athletic guy would knock that dude off, but I don't see Deontay Wilder losing this fight.

01:58:54.000 I would put all my money on him.

01:58:56.000 But you know what we could do?

01:58:57.000 I was actually talking to Larry about this.

01:58:59.000 My buddy has this hack site where you can get fights, not live, but 24 hours after any fight, he can find it.

01:59:08.000 So we could do a wrap-up like the Monday after the fight.

01:59:13.000 It's pretty great.

01:59:14.000 Who cares if you already know the outcome?

01:59:17.000 You know what I think would be great?

01:59:18.000 If he does commentary for the copper cabin you fight.

01:59:22.000 He only says it with that fight.

01:59:24.000 He goes, fuck that fight.

01:59:25.000 He says, if he tried to fuck with you and he was cheating or something, or even if he started to win, I would wrap around him like a fucking python.

01:59:33.000 Wow.

01:59:34.000 That was what he was saying.

01:59:35.000 Is that guy like autistically smart or something?

01:59:38.000 Because he just spits out dates.

01:59:40.000 I rewatched that episode today for some reason.

01:59:44.000 And he said, I think it was your fight with Copper Cab.

01:59:48.000 He just spit out the fucking date.

01:59:51.000 Not only does he remember every date of every fight, he knows like Michael Douglas's birthday.

01:59:56.000 You throw a date like July 23rd or like February 12th and they'll go, that's Abe Lincoln's birthday.

02:00:02.000 He born in 1802.

02:00:05.000 And he'll just go through all these other people some Boston Celtics player has.

02:00:10.000 Real quick theory, is he like really high IQ because he can notice patterns?

02:00:17.000 That's why that bobbing and weaving, like when you watch that fight against Felix Trinidad, there's that combination where Felix like 10 different punches in a row doesn't land and he's just underneath them all and bobbing and weaving.

02:00:31.000 He's got this super high IQ where he can notice patterns and remember numbers or just see sequences and that's why he gets dates?

02:00:38.000 Or am I just fucking, you know?

02:00:40.000 No, I don't.

02:00:42.000 There's many things that Larry is.

02:00:44.000 I don't know if high IQ is up there, but I think the reason that he was such a good fighter is because he trained 24 hours a day.

02:00:54.000 I mean, the guy barely slept.

02:00:57.000 He barely ate.

02:00:58.000 He'd run 10 miles a day.

02:00:59.000 He sparred every day.

02:01:01.000 He just really practiced.

02:01:03.000 He's also a very fit, like a good fighter, but I think it was just practice that made him that good.

02:01:08.000 And then as far as the dates shit, the gym owner's theory is that some punch rattled something in his cage where it turned a switch on, and now a calendar is like available to his fucking eyeballs every time you mention something.

02:01:25.000 It's funny.

02:01:26.000 It's funny how he can remember dates.

02:01:28.000 And as you keep going on and on with boxing and sparring, you slowly are like messing up words and getting dumber.

02:01:36.000 Yeah, he got smarter.

02:01:37.000 I got dumber.

02:01:38.000 Okay, thanks for calling, dude.

02:01:40.000 Bye, man.

02:01:40.000 Check out Larry Barnes this Sunday, debut of his hit new show.

02:01:45.000 It's already a hit.

02:01:46.000 It hasn't even come out yet.

02:01:48.000 We got Same from Texas.

02:01:52.000 What's up, guy?

02:01:54.000 I'm doing.

02:01:54.000 Oh, shit.

02:01:55.000 You're on.

02:01:57.000 Last caller.

02:01:58.000 Gavin, you're mentioning something about having a wife with a funny accent.

02:02:04.000 And I just want to say you're totally right.

02:02:06.000 I was in Amsterdam last year making love to a lady from Northern Europe, somewhere around there.

02:02:15.000 And when I finished, she was like, oh, an explosion, an explosion.

02:02:21.000 It was fucking hilarious.

02:02:23.000 Explosion?

02:02:29.000 Explosion?

02:02:31.000 Oh, and also, I saw that monkey, that frame with you in a monkey suit.

02:02:37.000 So I was wondering about that, too.

02:02:42.000 Yeah, explosion would ruin.

02:02:45.000 I don't know.

02:02:46.000 All right, well, thanks for calling.

02:02:48.000 I've gotten Chinese massages before, like a while ago.

02:02:51.000 We should end the show.

02:02:52.000 Oops.

02:02:53.000 Go to Reddit Cringe, though, because there's, speaking of European accents, there's these girls, feminists.

02:02:59.000 I think they're Icelandic feminists.

02:03:01.000 Hello?

02:03:01.000 Yes, yes, yes.

02:03:02.000 One second.

02:03:03.000 What are you doing?

02:03:04.000 I showed the screen.

02:03:06.000 Post, I got to take that out.

02:03:11.000 And I think they're like Icelandic feminists.

02:03:15.000 And they're singing about how great it is to take it up the butt, but they're saying we need to take it up the butt as straight men to get over our problems with masculinity.

02:03:27.000 But if you don't know the context or you're not totally focused on Their stupid message, it sounds like a bunch of sluts singing about getting fucked up the ass.

02:03:35.000 Yeah, Iceland.

02:03:38.000 This is the video we'll end the show with.

02:03:41.000 Who wants to get fingered in the ass?

02:03:43.000 Who I do, who me too, do I'll finger your ass.

02:03:48.000 Get your lover or stride far Find a person with a real one Open your hole and slide in slow People kinda say I'm a creep But who knew Angel says could be She's so hot and obviously stupid, but I don't think I could live with a woman who had an Icelandic accent.

02:04:09.000 They're crying and then they say something like that sounds weird, and you're like, I'm just feeling lonely after moving here.

02:04:16.000 I miss my friends in Iceland, and I know that you like to rock it hard with the good times.

02:04:24.000 That's exactly what we do, yeah.

02:04:26.000 But I got a Chinese massage one time, and she was like, oh, whatever, you know what?

02:04:31.000 There's nothing she could have said that would have been sexy.

02:04:34.000 No, a Chinese accent's the worst.

02:04:36.000 There's 0% things that she could say.

02:04:38.000 Cantonese.

02:04:39.000 I'm a feminist and I'm kinky.

02:04:43.000 Is it true?

02:04:44.000 Is it poo?

02:04:45.000 Ew.

02:04:46.000 But, but, but.

02:04:48.000 That's enough.

02:04:48.000 What is a cool song we can go out with that otherwise we get sued for if we're on YouTube?

02:04:53.000 We're not on YouTube.

02:04:55.000 Exactly.

02:04:56.000 Exacto.

02:04:58.000 Like, now that we are not on YouTube, what songs can we end this?

02:05:00.000 Oh, you're looking for, like, a rock and roll party?

02:05:02.000 Like, something kind of rock and roll cool.

02:05:05.000 Oh, that's fun.

02:05:06.000 Jeez.

02:05:07.000 You know, I'm feeling kind of stumped because you're asking me to come up with like a hit totally rock and roll song.

02:05:17.000 What about The Knife?

02:05:20.000 Look up the band The Knife.

02:05:22.000 No one to be confused.

02:05:25.000 We were in love.

02:05:27.000 Pass on this?

02:05:28.000 No.

02:05:28.000 Heartbeats?

02:05:29.000 Yeah, Heartbeats.

02:05:32.000 All right.

02:05:32.000 It's a cover, but it's fucking awesome.

02:05:35.000 Are we going to tell people to check out The Knife?

02:05:37.000 They're covering Javier Gonzalez or something.

02:05:40.000 And what are we telling them?

02:05:42.000 To get fired?

02:05:43.000 Oh, yeah.

02:05:44.000 Hang on after this, by the way, to see JusticeForLiberty.com and the three prisoners we want you to write to.

02:05:50.000 But get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:05:59.000 Ooh, that was a good one.

02:06:00.000 Ooh, that was a good one.

02:06:15.000 Why did I be confused?

02:06:18.000 Why did I just be untruth?

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 14, 2020

GOML LIVE #34 - WINGING IT

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