Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 06, 2020


GOML LIVE #37 - SO YOU WANNA BE A JOURNALIST?


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours

Words per Minute

168.12405

Word Count

20,329

Sentence Count

1,992

Misogynist Sentences

79

Hate Speech Sentences

88


Summary

My kid s babysitter wants to get into journalism, and I thought I d sit down with her for an hour to explain all the different routes you could take. And then I realized, well, I don t personally have a babysitter. I can do whatever I want.


Transcript

00:00:43.000 Man, that ghetto blaster is deteriorating.
00:00:47.000 The pause is perpetually pause.
00:00:53.000 Hello, folks.
00:00:53.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
00:00:58.000 We have a special episode today.
00:01:01.000 My babysitter's mom said that my babysitter, and I don't personally have a babysitter.
00:01:05.000 I'm 49.
00:01:06.000 I can do whatever I want.
00:01:07.000 I can stay up all night if I want to.
00:01:09.000 I can have candy for breakfast.
00:01:12.000 My kid's babysitter wants to get into journalism.
00:01:17.000 And I thought I would have to sit down with her for at least an hour to explain all the different routes you could take.
00:01:25.000 And then I realized, well, I'll just make that a show.
00:01:27.000 Send her the link.
00:01:29.000 So Jenny, not using your real name.
00:01:32.000 This buds for you.
00:01:36.000 Do you want to talk about you screwing up there?
00:01:39.000 Yeah, that's a case of the old butterfingers.
00:01:43.000 So you're even screwing up your defense because that's not what the term butterfingers comes from.
00:01:48.000 Is that when you drop something?
00:01:50.000 Well, yeah.
00:01:51.000 But it means your hands are slippery.
00:01:53.000 Like they have butter on them.
00:01:55.000 So you went to the wrong image at the beginning because you had butter on your fingers?
00:02:00.000 I just slipped on the button and went like...
00:02:07.000 So this will be the journalism episode.
00:02:11.000 And I think we're going to go behind the paywall early this time.
00:02:16.000 Like maybe at half an hour in, at 9.30.
00:02:21.000 I got to stop saying um.
00:02:24.000 Clear my throat.
00:02:24.000 What are you doing?
00:02:26.000 You're not allowed to clear your throat.
00:02:27.000 I know.
00:02:28.000 Earlier today, you're going to.
00:02:29.000 Yeah, we're in the car.
00:02:30.000 It was like Baba Booy.
00:02:31.000 He's like, yeah.
00:02:33.000 So basically, he was trying to pitch me us going to Skank Fest, which is like $750 in tickets and then another $750 for playing in hotel, even though it's sold out.
00:02:45.000 So I'd have to kiss their ass to get something.
00:02:47.000 And I go, I don't really get what's in it for us.
00:02:50.000 Interviews with a bunch of comedians?
00:02:52.000 Yeah.
00:02:53.000 Well, that's assuming they would do interviews with me.
00:02:55.000 I'm not going to fly down there to get a hot commodity like Joe List on the show.
00:03:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:03:03.000 Well, you could get Gomez and Dave Smith.
00:03:06.000 Yeah, I could get them in New York because they all live in New York.
00:03:09.000 Tim Dillon.
00:03:10.000 Tim Dillon?
00:03:11.000 Okay.
00:03:12.000 Let me fly to Houston, Texas to talk to Tim Dillon.
00:03:15.000 I think that could be the angle right there.
00:03:17.000 I'd much rather go to LA and get all the Tim Dillons.
00:03:21.000 Anyway, before we get started, I cannot recommend Johnny Apple CBD enough.
00:03:29.000 What is Johnny Apple CBD?
00:03:30.000 What is CBD?
00:03:32.000 Well, basically, it's hemp without the THC.
00:03:36.000 So you don't get high, but you get all the good stuff.
00:03:40.000 Remember all these people who complain about pot being illegal?
00:03:44.000 I think most of them would be happy with CBD.
00:03:50.000 Now, it's many different things.
00:03:52.000 Maybe we should cut to the site.
00:03:53.000 There's the tincture that we use in our coffee to take the edge off.
00:03:59.000 There is the topical, the cream that I use.
00:04:03.000 I was working out, God, will you stop fucking up, please, butters?
00:04:09.000 I don't know what happened to my arm.
00:04:11.000 It's taking me about 30 seconds to get out of bed these days.
00:04:14.000 This is what it's like boxing as a 49-year-old.
00:04:17.000 I'm skipping rope on, ow, I'm skipping rope on Monday to warm up as one does.
00:04:23.000 And then I just get shot in the back with a tranquilizer dart and have to stumble to a chair, just like someone had knocked the window on me.
00:04:32.000 Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:04:34.000 I wasn't even doing that much exercise.
00:04:36.000 I was just jumping up and down.
00:04:38.000 Then sparring on Wednesday, wore this whole thing out.
00:04:43.000 You know, like in the Avengers, the arm that that guy has, Mr. Winter Solstice or whatever?
00:04:50.000 I feel like this isn't mine.
00:04:51.000 This is so beaten up and stuff.
00:04:53.000 It's Winter Soldier.
00:04:56.000 So what do you do for that?
00:04:57.000 You use the Johnny Apple CBD topical.
00:05:00.000 You get that on there.
00:05:02.000 We also have the gummy bears, the gummies that help you sleep.
00:05:06.000 They really take the edge off.
00:05:09.000 And then there's the delicious cookies right up there.
00:05:12.000 So go to johnnyapple.com.
00:05:15.000 Are you sure that's the URL?
00:05:17.000 So it's johnnyapple.com.
00:05:17.000 Yeah.
00:05:19.000 The company is Johnny Apple CBD.
00:05:23.000 And of course, the pun there is Johnny Apple Seed, right?
00:05:27.000 And use the promo code GAVIN.
00:05:30.000 You get 20% off all orders when you use the promo code Gavin and free shipping, by the way.
00:05:38.000 So use the promo code Gavin.
00:05:39.000 Go to jacbd.com or johnnyapple.com and try it.
00:05:45.000 Try the topical on your sore muscles.
00:05:46.000 And I've already noticed a difference over the past day and a half just using them on my weird arm.
00:05:53.000 I love the tinctures.
00:05:54.000 I use them literally every time I have coffee because jitters were.
00:05:58.000 Oh, thank God you said literally.
00:05:59.000 I'm so sick of people using that as a metaphor.
00:06:02.000 This is what it looks like.
00:06:04.000 How about I use them every time I have coffee?
00:06:06.000 I use them every time I have coffee.
00:06:09.000 Wait, literally?
00:06:10.000 Literally.
00:06:11.000 They have new flavors, though, which is interesting.
00:06:12.000 They have vanilla, strawberry, and original.
00:06:16.000 We're supposed to wear the shirt.
00:06:18.000 The sponsor guy told us to wear the shirt.
00:06:19.000 I'm not wearing the shirt.
00:06:20.000 I forgot the shirt.
00:06:22.000 Is it here?
00:06:23.000 I don't think so.
00:06:23.000 I'm not wearing the shirt.
00:06:24.000 Maybe yours is shocking.
00:06:25.000 I don't know.
00:06:25.000 That's not mine.
00:06:26.000 I appreciate the show.
00:06:27.000 I'm happy to plug Johnny Apple CBD, and I love that they're a sponsor of the show, but no, I'm not doing that.
00:06:34.000 Speaking of the show, before we get into my kooky fun idea, we had a great week here.
00:06:40.000 I went through how to do a sex change in elaborate detail.
00:06:46.000 It's remarkably complicated to make a vagina.
00:06:50.000 Wow.
00:06:52.000 You know what the weirdest part I thought was?
00:06:54.000 When you're making a clitoris, the way you just carve away the head, like every when they cut the bag and they take the balls out, you can kind of, like, that makes sense to me, right?
00:07:07.000 That's, that seems like an awesome thing to do.
00:07:09.000 But the way they carve the edge of the bell end just off, there's no rhyme or reason to it.
00:07:15.000 Like, even I'm against circumcision, but even when you see it done, you go, oh, I get it.
00:07:20.000 That piece comes off.
00:07:22.000 Like, if you were to cut your earlobes off, okay, I get it.
00:07:25.000 But like, this clit thing, it would be like cutting the tip of your nose off.
00:07:29.000 Don't show it.
00:07:29.000 Don't show it.
00:07:31.000 We'll get banned from YouTube.
00:07:33.000 This is remember the YouTube episode.
00:07:35.000 Oh, gee.
00:07:40.000 We made fun of animals again because they're losers.
00:07:45.000 And we had Copper Cab on, losing his temper, freaking out, as is his wont.
00:07:49.000 Copper Cab's show, by the way, episode three just came out this week, where he's just constantly eating, and there's always like a weird dildo in the background.
00:07:57.000 We're not sure what's going on with him, but we know he likes to stuff his face.
00:08:01.000 That's all he lives for, which is why when he arrived here for the fight, he called me and said, hey, man, no one was here to pick us up.
00:08:10.000 I go, yeah, I got you a driver.
00:08:13.000 Well, he didn't come meet us.
00:08:14.000 Well, he's there, okay?
00:08:16.000 Use your phone.
00:08:17.000 Call him.
00:08:18.000 I'll make sure he meets you.
00:08:19.000 Okay, and then he calls me right back.
00:08:20.000 Okay, we have the driver here.
00:08:22.000 We have no money.
00:08:23.000 He didn't have any money for us.
00:08:25.000 How am I supposed to get money to a driver?
00:08:27.000 Like, you call the car service.
00:08:28.000 If I have to get the money to the driver, I might as well just pick you up.
00:08:31.000 I go, what do you need money for?
00:08:32.000 He goes, oh, well, there's the per diem and also I need food money.
00:08:36.000 Anyway, I've told you that story a hundred times.
00:08:39.000 And then we have a new episode of Gary's Mailbag coming out this Saturday.
00:08:42.000 I think we're going to leapfrog them.
00:08:45.000 So Larry one weekend, Gary the next weekend.
00:08:47.000 Larry one weekend, Gary the next weekend.
00:08:50.000 Because it's a lot of work for an old, old man who's essentially retired, meaning me.
00:08:56.000 But someone did a video letter.
00:08:58.000 Thank you for sending in your video letters and please continue to send them to mailbag at censored.tv.
00:09:05.000 But make sure you put in the subject, what is it now?
00:09:08.000 Gary or Gary video question.
00:09:11.000 Yeah, anything Gary, Gary video letter, whatever.
00:09:16.000 But some guy called, videoed in and said, can you tell that fucking millionaire who gets paid to talk that it's anthropomorphize, not anthropomorphizize?
00:09:29.000 And so Gary and I went back and forth and I was like, oh, I get it now.
00:09:32.000 It's anthropomorphize.
00:09:34.000 And he's like, anthropomorphize.
00:09:35.000 Anthropomorphize.
00:09:38.000 We did it back and forth maybe 20 times.
00:09:40.000 I really didn't know.
00:09:41.000 And he just goes, I can't do it anymore.
00:09:43.000 He doesn't enjoy his job, Gary.
00:09:46.000 He wants his money.
00:09:48.000 He wants to go buy lunch or whatever with the money.
00:09:50.000 And then he wants to get the hell out of there.
00:09:52.000 He does not enjoy being there.
00:09:54.000 So when I asked him, one of the letters was, what's Wu-Tang's, what do you think is the best solo album after Wu-Tang?
00:09:59.000 Which is a great question.
00:10:01.000 I mean, it's obviously not you, God.
00:10:03.000 It's going to be, and I don't mean you personally God if you're watching the show.
00:10:07.000 I mean the rapper you God.
00:10:09.000 It's got to be Ghostface Killer, Ray Kwan, or Old Dirty Bastard, right?
00:10:14.000 That Gizza Rizza stuff is just production work.
00:10:18.000 But as far as like albums standalone, only built for Cuban links.
00:10:22.000 And then Ghostface Killer had a bunch, right?
00:10:27.000 And then Old Dirty Bastard had his kooky gimmick albums.
00:10:30.000 The weirdo Yankovic of the Wu-Tang clan.
00:10:33.000 He likes it raw.
00:10:35.000 I really like the Ghostface Killer song, Daytona 500.
00:10:38.000 doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo meow doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo meow Oh, But when you look at the lyrics, you go, do these guys really believe what they're saying?
00:10:57.000 I once had the cartoonist Mark Bell draw a comic of it because it was so unbelievable.
00:11:02.000 What are you doing?
00:11:04.000 Oh, because you said comic, so I was like, all right.
00:11:06.000 What?
00:11:09.000 Okay.
00:11:11.000 Okay, so not that.
00:11:12.000 So it starts.
00:11:13.000 Street astrologist, light up the mic.
00:11:16.000 God acknowledges this fly joints to carry two points.
00:11:19.000 Corolla, motor, roll a holder.
00:11:20.000 Play it, God, E-Pack over the shoulder.
00:11:22.000 Chrome tanks, player like ganks.
00:11:24.000 Check the franchise.
00:11:25.000 Front of my guys, my enterprise, splash many lives.
00:11:28.000 What are you talking about?
00:11:30.000 Repel all fakes like reflectors.
00:11:32.000 Okay, I got that.
00:11:33.000 He had sugar in his ear in his last crack career.
00:11:35.000 What?
00:11:36.000 He smuggled crack in his ears?
00:11:38.000 We can manhand him, man-handle him if you want to.
00:11:41.000 Run his cribbo, get ditto, skate like a limo.
00:11:44.000 What are you talking about?
00:11:47.000 That's just gibberish, right?
00:11:50.000 There's no message there.
00:11:52.000 And if it's an inside joke, it's an inside joke with himself.
00:11:58.000 Anyway, and then John Miranda had a cool thing about Ozzy Osborne and Pete Buttigig.
00:12:09.000 Buttigig?
00:12:10.000 But a gig.
00:12:11.000 He says it.
00:12:12.000 Yeah, he mumbles that guy.
00:12:14.000 He doesn't enunciate.
00:12:15.000 But a yig.
00:12:16.000 But a yig.
00:12:17.000 I have a problem with Pete Butterig.
00:12:21.000 Pete Buttigig, Gidge.
00:12:25.000 John had a good point, though.
00:12:26.000 He said no one's going to vote for a gay president ever.
00:12:31.000 And when you say that, people think that you have a problem with a gay president.
00:12:35.000 No.
00:12:36.000 No, we're talking about all of America.
00:12:38.000 The idea of two men 69ing in the White House is something that the boomers will never be able to handle.
00:12:45.000 So you better wait till millennials are the majority before you run a gay.
00:12:49.000 Why are you gay?
00:12:52.000 All right.
00:12:55.000 Oh, see, we're already 15 minutes in.
00:12:57.000 And if we're going to cut out in half an hour, we already have to read the second sponsor.
00:13:01.000 Which is which is Bet DSI.
00:13:07.000 Is it?
00:13:07.000 Yeah.
00:13:09.000 You thought it was Bubba and Hanks?
00:13:11.000 Yes.
00:13:12.000 Nope.
00:13:12.000 That's not the email that I got?
00:13:15.000 Mention Bubba and Hanks giveaway on the big show and tell audience that one value subscriber is getting a buttload of FDA meats from Bubba and Hanks because that's a Gavin certified beef.
00:13:26.000 Yeah, why does he have the mid-rolls Bet DSI and we don't get to mention Bubba and Hanks?
00:13:30.000 Oh, we talk about Bubba and Hanks after the paywall.
00:13:34.000 So don't you people who are watching this for free go to Bubba and Hanks and check out their delicious beef.
00:13:40.000 That would be terrible.
00:13:42.000 So Bet DSI is what we use to bet on sporting events.
00:13:47.000 You can bet on pretty much everything.
00:13:49.000 March Madness is here.
00:13:51.000 If you want to make some money with me, use the promo code Gavin.
00:13:55.000 You make a deposit.
00:13:56.000 You start winning for free.
00:14:00.000 I have a special offer for my listeners.
00:14:02.000 Me and Bet DSI are watching and matching every depositing listeners to 120% on their first-time deposit.
00:14:08.000 When you go to www.betdsi.com and use promo code Gavin, me and Bet DSI will match you up to $1,000.
00:14:20.000 Plus, my listeners get a $25 bonus to test the waters.
00:14:23.000 You deposit $100, me and Bet DSI give you another $120 plus my exclusive $25 bonus, which brings you to $145.
00:14:34.000 Wait a minute, that brings you to $245.
00:14:36.000 If you deposit $500, you're going to get another $600 plus my exclusive $25 bonus and so on.
00:14:42.000 Deposit $1,000, you get a box of Z. It's a very difficult situation.
00:14:48.000 I would recommend that you bet on the Mets winning because they are already in spring training, making a name for themselves.
00:14:54.000 This is going to be a different year.
00:14:56.000 Mets used to mean must end the season.
00:14:59.000 Now it stands for must eventually tick off the Superbox.
00:15:08.000 I don't watch much baseball, but is Superbox a thing?
00:15:11.000 Superbox is the top box when you're betting on the World Series.
00:15:16.000 So that is a thing?
00:15:17.000 Yes.
00:15:18.000 I didn't just make it up.
00:15:20.000 Bet DSI.com slash Gavin PromoCode.
00:15:22.000 You don't mind if I Google it?
00:15:24.000 There's no time.
00:15:26.000 No, there's no time.
00:15:27.000 We're shooting the show.
00:15:28.000 So we've got to plow forward.
00:15:30.000 You can look up Superbox maybe in three weeks.
00:15:34.000 Might as well just.
00:15:36.000 I like Bet DSI more than a friend.
00:15:38.000 All right.
00:15:40.000 We've only got a few minutes left.
00:15:42.000 So, Jenny, I thought this was a very interesting question.
00:15:47.000 Now, first, let me start with if someone asked me that I didn't give a shit about, and I truly care about my babysitter.
00:15:53.000 She got a lot of, back when the shit was hitting the fan, she was pressured to quit her job.
00:15:57.000 Even her boyfriend, I think her boyfriend dumped her for not quitting her job.
00:16:00.000 That's the rumor I heard.
00:16:02.000 She refused to quit.
00:16:03.000 She also deals with some abuse because my youngest boy, I think he has a strong alpha gene, and he sees her not just as his girlfriend, but as his bitch.
00:16:16.000 So he doesn't like when other people talk to her.
00:16:20.000 He doesn't understand why I pay her.
00:16:21.000 That's my girlfriend.
00:16:22.000 What are you doing?
00:16:24.000 And sometimes he'll be kind of shitty to her.
00:16:27.000 Like they'll be drawing together and then she'll show him the drawing and he'll go, yeah, that's okay.
00:16:35.000 He's nagging her?
00:16:36.000 Yeah, he's nagging her.
00:16:37.000 You got to keep your bitch on a short leash.
00:16:43.000 That's the guy.
00:16:44.000 You may know him from How to Fight a Baby.
00:16:48.000 He said to me in the car today coming back from boxing, he goes, he said, hey, dad, I heard that video I'm in has more likes than guava juice.
00:17:00.000 Because they all have their little YouTubers, right?
00:17:01.000 And the kids love guava juice.
00:17:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
00:17:04.000 That's their guy.
00:17:05.000 He's like this little Asian dude who does very clean humor.
00:17:10.000 Yeah, he'll eat like a pool-sized jell-o and stuff like that.
00:17:14.000 Yeah, like candy.
00:17:16.000 2.1 million views.
00:17:18.000 Hey, I cut my shoe in half.
00:17:21.000 With the smallest spam.
00:17:22.000 See, this is the problem with what's her name, Lily Singh.
00:17:26.000 They saw that with Lily Sing and they went, 2.1 million views.
00:17:30.000 If we got that on TV, we'd be kicking ass.
00:17:33.000 So they give her a talk show, and she continues to do what she does, which is pander to 12-year-olds.
00:17:39.000 And 12-year-olds are not watching TV at 3 in the morning whenever she's on.
00:17:43.000 So her show is a complete flop based on some retarded TV exec who assumed that kid YouTube is the same as adult late night TV.
00:17:54.000 Welcome to the Brown Bar.
00:17:56.000 Welcome to the Brown Bar.
00:17:58.000 How to Deal with Brown People, Part 2.
00:18:00.000 Jesus.
00:18:01.000 So she goes from brown.
00:18:02.000 I hate brown.
00:18:03.000 Yeah.
00:18:04.000 Oh, you got it.
00:18:05.000 It's always said in this sort of ostentatious way, like, oh, you have a problem with brown people?
00:18:11.000 I find myself using it just to speak their language, like that proud boy who got away because the DA couldn't use the white power narrative.
00:18:18.000 I often say, yeah, they didn't like it because he was brown.
00:18:22.000 Oh, her show is canceled.
00:18:24.000 Her show is canceled already?
00:18:26.000 It says one week ago, Lily Singh's show is canceled.
00:18:28.000 I don't know if that's true, but let's see.
00:18:32.000 Oh, no, it was confirmed.
00:18:33.000 Lily Singh has just been canceled from this other person.
00:18:36.000 How long was that on?
00:18:38.000 God, it was so.
00:18:39.000 One season.
00:18:40.000 Yeah.
00:18:42.000 Okay, anyway.
00:18:43.000 So let's start with someone I don't give a shit about, right?
00:18:46.000 Julie.
00:18:47.000 I would say do not go to journalism school.
00:18:51.000 That piece of advice is for everyone from people I don't give a shit about to people I give a shit about.
00:18:57.000 Journalism school makes you stupid.
00:19:01.000 School in general makes you stupider than when you went in.
00:19:04.000 You should always do a trade, unless it's STEM, right?
00:19:07.000 Unless you're going to become a chemist or an engineer or a biochemist, by all means, you should go to school.
00:19:12.000 If you're sort of like, maybe I'll take speech pathology or MASCOM or in my case, English literature, what?
00:19:22.000 Don't do it.
00:19:23.000 You're not even, it's not even like I took, I have a BA in English for some stupid reason, Even though I already spoke it when I went in.
00:19:32.000 But they give you this syllabus of Charles Dickens and Emily Bronte and all this crap, boring soap opera shit from the turn of the century.
00:19:40.000 And then a teacher tells you how to interpret it.
00:19:44.000 So now you're experiencing the books less than you would on your own.
00:19:47.000 They're telling you how to think, how to enjoy a piece of art.
00:19:51.000 Now you're getting less out of the art.
00:19:52.000 You have to go through their fucking eyeballs.
00:19:55.000 Anyway, you don't need to go a quarter of a million dollars in debt for that.
00:19:59.000 And with journalism school, it's not like the 50s where they teach you the five W's, right?
00:20:03.000 Who, what, when, where, why.
00:20:05.000 Now they just teach you hegemony and inclusion and fighting white supremacy and bladder, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:12.000 So you come out stupid.
00:20:14.000 You come out not even stupid, but like a Klingon.
00:20:17.000 You speak a different language than anyone else in the world.
00:20:20.000 So do not do that.
00:20:22.000 The best way to work to become a journalist is to choose what kind of journalist you want.
00:20:29.000 You want to be.
00:20:31.000 Now, figure that out.
00:20:34.000 Say it's Vice.
00:20:35.000 Then go to Vice as an intern and just be around.
00:20:40.000 Do the shittiest job you possibly.
00:20:42.000 By the way, the advice I'm giving right now is for both the people I care about and the people I don't care about.
00:20:46.000 I'm going to add an extra layer when we get into people I care about, but I'm just telling you the basics now.
00:20:51.000 So you go to this salon, Slate, whatever the fuck it is, Huffington Post, and you're an intern there.
00:20:57.000 And what you have to understand as an intern is it's an initiation.
00:21:01.000 When the guy started the company, like when I started Vice, I had to carry the garbage out, right?
00:21:07.000 We didn't come with a garbage man or a maid or even an accountant.
00:21:10.000 We all had to do those jobs.
00:21:12.000 So when you start out, we want to punish you and make you experience the same kind of bullshit.
00:21:17.000 So that means take the garbage out.
00:21:18.000 I'll never forget this black girl who was an intern for us at Vice.
00:21:23.000 And I was giving her the normal shitty jobs I give everyone.
00:21:26.000 And these interns, these millennials, they have this hubris where they want to start just writing a cover story and then being a photographer too.
00:21:34.000 And I want to design uniforms for the revolution.
00:21:37.000 So I gave her shitty jobs and she quits after three days.
00:21:41.000 And I found a crumpled up note inside the intern desk.
00:21:44.000 And it said, why do they keep giving, it was all written on a post-it note that had been crumpled up.
00:21:50.000 So it took tiny writing.
00:21:52.000 It said, why do they keep giving me these shitty jobs?
00:21:54.000 Surely 400 years of history has taught them that I'm worth more.
00:22:00.000 Crumpled up.
00:22:02.000 So I unraveled it and I just went, yeah, it's because you're black.
00:22:06.000 It wasn't 400 years.
00:22:07.000 I was like, hey, colored girl, you take out the garbage.
00:22:10.000 I'm going to give the cool jobs to the white interns because we live in a fucking movie.
00:22:16.000 By the way, I just got a mail from some liberal saying, didn't you start Vice with a government grant?
00:22:20.000 You're a fucking hypocrite.
00:22:21.000 You say you're against the government, and then you take...
00:22:26.000 Here's the deal.
00:22:29.000 When you're living in Quebec, you're living in Russia.
00:22:32.000 It's a communist state and English people may not work.
00:22:38.000 You cannot get a job in Quebec, not just if you're not bilingual, but if you have an accent in French, as I did, as my friends did.
00:22:45.000 So we would do things like we were bike messengers under the table and stuff like that.
00:22:49.000 You'd wash dishes, do shit.
00:22:51.000 Or you would tree plant in the spring and then save that money for the rest of the year because Montreal was very cheap.
00:23:01.000 However, they did have an out.
00:23:03.000 There was one out, one crack in the pavement, and that was these make work programs.
00:23:09.000 So you would act like you had Down syndrome or something, and you'd cross your eyes and you'd go to the welfare place, write out the forms with your left hand, get on welfare, and then there'd be a program to get you off welfare, right?
00:23:24.000 And this off-welfare thing was a magazine called Image, no, a company called Image Interculturelle, which was a big welfare hodgepodge scam system where Haitians were ripping people off, pretending they cared about diversity.
00:23:38.000 Meanwhile, if you're a Haitian and you're living in Montreal at the time, you were rich enough to get out of that shithole country.
00:23:42.000 So you're an aristocrat.
00:23:44.000 And all you cared about was classical music and tea.
00:23:48.000 So we got on that bandwagon, put out the magazine, started making it our own.
00:23:53.000 It was supposed to be a diversity calendar.
00:23:55.000 We made it about punk bands and stuff.
00:23:57.000 And then we had to free ourselves from that.
00:23:59.000 So that involved paying back our debt to that stupid grant.
00:24:04.000 Not grant, that welfare program.
00:24:06.000 And we had to pay them like 35 grand or something.
00:24:08.000 And eventually, and we changed the name from Voice of Montreal to Vice.
00:24:11.000 And that's how we started the company.
00:24:12.000 So it was not because of a government grant.
00:24:16.000 It was despite the government welfare socialist culture at the time.
00:24:24.000 Think of it more as escaping from Cuba in a raft.
00:24:28.000 It wasn't like someone helping us going, here, here's some money.
00:24:31.000 Make a magazine.
00:24:32.000 Oh, thank you.
00:24:33.000 Thank you for this grant money, government.
00:24:35.000 You did a great job of helping us.
00:24:37.000 No.
00:24:38.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:24:39.000 That's a tangible.
00:24:43.000 And it's covered in my hit novel, Death of Cool.
00:24:47.000 So the thing about being an intern is you just skulk around, you take out the garbage, you mop, do whatever you can.
00:24:54.000 It's still way better than school.
00:24:56.000 And plus, even when you're doing that shitty work, you're seeing people mill around and you're seeing how a magazine works.
00:25:02.000 You're seeing who works hard, who doesn't, who gets the good stories, who gets the good stories in that they're given to them.
00:25:10.000 Hey, can you go interview Ozzie Osborne?
00:25:12.000 And who gets the good stories in that they provide them?
00:25:16.000 Oh, I know this guy in France who just bought a dirty bomb and then ran away because he didn't want to have a nuclear bomb.
00:25:22.000 Wow, thank you for that scoop.
00:25:23.000 That's a hell of a scoop.
00:25:27.000 And you see the way they behave.
00:25:28.000 You also see if this is for you.
00:25:31.000 You know, writing is hard.
00:25:34.000 That's a whole other show.
00:25:36.000 But the thing about writing is you have to learn to convey a simple point like trans athletes are ruining women's sports.
00:25:47.000 You have to have that as your hypothesis, and you have to nail it quickly in the opening paragraph.
00:25:54.000 Just nail it, get it out there, and be done in less than 3,000 words.
00:25:59.000 3,000 words Is a massive cover story.
00:26:01.000 If you have a good point, you should be able to hone it down to 800, maybe 1,000.
00:26:06.000 And then you have your conclusion at the end: bing, bang, boom.
00:26:09.000 Men tend to be better at that kind of writing than women because it's mathematical.
00:26:17.000 It's the same reason men make better directors.
00:26:20.000 When you're directing a movie, you have to remember we need the scene from this angle, this angle, this angle.
00:26:25.000 We have to make sure this is explained.
00:26:28.000 If this scene isn't working, I have to cut it.
00:26:30.000 We were just looking at Charlie's Angels today with Elizabeth Banks, who wrote and directed and produced.
00:26:35.000 And God, she's just, she did a terrible job.
00:26:39.000 She made a movie to show how much girls rock, and it showed how much girls suck, including the scene at the beginning where Christian Stewart is standing on a helicopter going, bye.
00:26:50.000 And you think that, any normal man would have said, well, that scene didn't work.
00:26:54.000 It looks like it was done by Ryan Ketsu Rivera.
00:26:58.000 It looks like, yeah.
00:26:59.000 The animation is as good as our mailbag animation.
00:27:05.000 The other thing about being a writer is you have to read your article like 50 times.
00:27:11.000 So when you're too verbose, I find what women do generally.
00:27:14.000 Now, again, I have to add this caveat that most of my top favorite magazine writers, column writers are women.
00:27:20.000 Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Naomi Schaefer-Riley, Carol Markowitz, Mackowicz, the weird Russian chick at New York Post.
00:27:28.000 I enjoy all of them very much.
00:27:30.000 Laura Hillebrand, one of my favorite book writers.
00:27:33.000 Is she up here?
00:27:35.000 As a crazy Dinash, thinks he's a toad.
00:27:41.000 But yeah, those are the exceptions that make the rule.
00:27:44.000 Generally, they tend to do too much research and then just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yammer on like I'm doing right now.
00:27:52.000 And the thing I used to always tell young writers is, don't do the red book.
00:27:57.000 Do la Live Rouge.
00:27:59.000 Now, in English, when you're saying the red book, the way the brain goes is the and then red.
00:28:08.000 Okay?
00:28:08.000 So now we just see this huge big pile of red paint.
00:28:12.000 Then you say book.
00:28:14.000 And now we have to take that red and cram it into a little book.
00:28:17.000 That's too much work.
00:28:19.000 The French way is la livre, right?
00:28:24.000 They say book first, and then they say rouge.
00:28:27.000 So you fill in the book red.
00:28:29.000 Start with what you need.
00:28:30.000 I would say 800-word piece.
00:28:32.000 All right, so I'm not going to get too elaborate.
00:28:34.000 It's too small.
00:28:35.000 Now, a perfect example of women being inept when it comes to writing, and I'm sorry to spend so much time on this, Jen, is find that article, was it in Slate about the Bible that bleeds oil?
00:28:47.000 This is the perfect example of women who shouldn't write.
00:28:50.000 Someone who probably would have been much happier at home.
00:28:53.000 So she finds out, what's her name now?
00:29:00.000 Ruth Graham.
00:29:01.000 Ruth Graham discovers that in the second most uneducated town in America, the least degrees, so a working class, sad, derelict town, a small town in Georgia, she discovers that some senior citizens down there are convinced a Bible bleeds oil.
00:29:22.000 Well, let me get down there to debunk that myth and show these 87-year-olds that they're, look at him.
00:29:28.000 So she flies down.
00:29:29.000 She must have been there for two weeks.
00:29:31.000 She flies down there to tell these people, do tons of research.
00:29:34.000 She discovers, of course, that the Bible that bleeds oil, the oil was actually coming from a tractor supply store and the guy with the magic Bible was cheating.
00:29:41.000 Whoa.
00:29:42.000 Watergate.
00:29:44.000 Watergate.
00:29:45.000 So it's a silly, irrelevant story.
00:29:47.000 The editor should have said, I'm not going to go pick on some old people in a small town and tell them that leprechauns don't exist.
00:29:52.000 What a waste of fucking time.
00:29:54.000 But go to the top of the article.
00:29:59.000 Look how fucking long this is.
00:30:01.000 Okay, scroll down.
00:30:04.000 Circumcise your point, my dear.
00:30:08.000 It goes on and on and on.
00:30:12.000 And what is the point of this?
00:30:14.000 That uneducated geriatrics occasionally believe bullshit?
00:30:18.000 Wow.
00:30:20.000 Who knew?
00:30:21.000 She, of course, tries to extrapolate that Trump supporters and Christians in general are assholes, but that doesn't work.
00:30:31.000 Anyway, sorry, that was a long tangent to say, and we're going to go behind the paywall soon, and we'll be taking calls at 10.
00:30:38.000 To say that when you're sitting there as an intern, you're going to see other people working and you're going to see them stressed out.
00:30:46.000 And you'll wonder if, is this really for me?
00:30:49.000 And if you're a woman, I'd say the odds are 80% it's not.
00:30:55.000 A fucking woman, boss.
00:31:01.000 But, and I'm sorry, Jen, if this sounds discouraging, but like, I'm probably not cut out for fashion design.
00:31:08.000 That doesn't mean there's not exceptions to the rule.
00:31:10.000 And again, most of my top writers are female.
00:31:13.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.
00:31:16.000 By the way, that's going to get us YouTube annihilated.
00:31:18.000 No, those little clips.
00:31:20.000 Yes, they're breathing down my throat.
00:31:24.000 Now, here's what happens as an intern.
00:31:27.000 Inevitably, they're going to press and shit.
00:31:32.000 Did they call back with that CD review?
00:31:34.000 Yeah, he's AWOL.
00:31:36.000 We can't find him, but we definitely, they're advertising with it, so we definitely need the review.
00:31:41.000 Hey, you, what?
00:31:42.000 Me taking out the garbage?
00:31:44.000 Do you know anything about Trip Hop or Skrill X or whatever?
00:31:44.000 Yeah.
00:31:50.000 And no.
00:31:51.000 Yes.
00:31:51.000 Yes.
00:31:52.000 Just say yes.
00:31:53.000 Always say yes.
00:31:54.000 And can you pound this out?
00:31:56.000 We need it in like two hours.
00:31:58.000 It only has to be like 100 words.
00:31:59.000 Just say what you think of it.
00:32:00.000 Okay, here's what you got to do.
00:32:01.000 This is the secret to success.
00:32:04.000 There are times in your life where you're going to be handed an opportunity.
00:32:08.000 That's a tiny little window into, it's a portal into your future.
00:32:14.000 Take the crowbar when that happens, jam it in the hole, and then pry it open and try to keep it open as long as you can.
00:32:26.000 So when you get that assignment, research the shit out of that band.
00:32:30.000 Research the background, where are they coming from?
00:32:32.000 Cram it all in.
00:32:33.000 Also, have a new angle.
00:32:36.000 Like, I'm done with East Coast music.
00:32:38.000 The West Coast keeps providing blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:32:41.000 And these guys, that's fun, and they're irreverent and they have a sense of humor, but some sort of overall point.
00:32:46.000 You know, you have to squeeze that hypothesis, supporting paragraphs and conclusion all in that little hundred-word blip, but really nail it.
00:32:56.000 And then they'll go, huh, that was kind of weird and funny and smart.
00:33:02.000 I like you.
00:33:03.000 Now you're going to have more opportunities.
00:33:05.000 The classic example I always use with the crowbar is Ryan McGinley, the photographer.
00:33:09.000 He got a gig very early on.
00:33:10.000 I think he was still in photography school, which is a stupid waste of time.
00:33:15.000 And I think he'd been in Vice a few times.
00:33:18.000 The New York Times was always poaching our contributors.
00:33:20.000 And the New York Times Mag hired him to do pictures of the Olympic swim team.
00:33:27.000 They only needed like two.
00:33:29.000 So he could have just gone and handed them in the two pictures and they would have gone, all right, Ryan's okay.
00:33:34.000 He went mental.
00:33:36.000 He rented all these underwater cameras with these weird filters on them.
00:33:40.000 He took roll after roll of film.
00:33:43.000 You should be looking at New York Times magazine, Ryan McGinley, Olympic Swimmers.
00:33:48.000 Are you?
00:33:49.000 Yeah.
00:33:50.000 Or are you just looking up Olympic Swimmers?
00:33:52.000 No, Ryan McGinley, photographer.
00:33:54.000 So he went bananas.
00:33:56.000 And he basically handed them an encyclopedia of coffee table books.
00:34:01.000 Now, they didn't need any of that.
00:34:03.000 And I realize this kind of contradicts my red book, Leave Rouge thing.
00:34:08.000 So that's what he provided them?
00:34:12.000 Shit, I just totally contradicted myself.
00:34:14.000 Brian McGinley to that.
00:34:15.000 My whole point is flashing down the toilet.
00:34:18.000 Photography is different than writing.
00:34:19.000 With writing, they don't want a huge pile of words.
00:34:23.000 When someone asks you for 800 and you give 3,000 or you write that fucking diatribe about the oily Bible, now someone has to sort through that and it's really, really hard to make 10,000 words, 3,000 words.
00:34:35.000 It's not hard to make this many pictures, this many pictures.
00:34:39.000 In fact, it's fun because it's like swiping.
00:34:41.000 You're just like, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, yes.
00:34:44.000 So that's why it's not a contradiction.
00:34:48.000 But he pried open.
00:34:49.000 Oh, my God.
00:34:50.000 He pried open the hole.
00:34:51.000 They were so impressed that they asked him again and then again and again.
00:34:55.000 And that one opportunity he turned into a career.
00:34:58.000 You can do that with your stupid CD review.
00:35:01.000 All right.
00:35:03.000 Let me read the last one.
00:35:05.000 I'm going to go through the payroll.
00:35:07.000 And then after we're done this, behind the paywall, we're going to talk about people I care about.
00:35:15.000 And that's a much bigger question, Jen.
00:35:18.000 Because do you want to be the Huff Poe Daily Beast kind of a journalist like Jared Holt and Andy Campbell and Christopher Matthias and these hate watch tattletales who are tattling on someone who's not actually who they think they are?
00:35:33.000 So they're basically, they write fiction for a living.
00:35:36.000 Those people never go anywhere.
00:35:38.000 They never have a legacy.
00:35:40.000 You'll notice that 99% of the authors at Gawker never went on to do anything else because they're little cunty snitches.
00:35:48.000 And I don't even like saying snitch because snitch implies the person did rob the bank.
00:35:52.000 But they're just saying that guy's the bank robber who didn't rob a bank.
00:35:55.000 So they're worse than snitches.
00:35:57.000 They're more like people who think that other people are witches during the Salem witch trials.
00:36:03.000 So do you want to be part of that world?
00:36:06.000 If you're not too serious and you don't want to do this for decades, then that's an angle.
00:36:12.000 Anyway, I'm going to get into that in more detail because my first half was how to make it, if you're anyone.
00:36:19.000 But my second half is going to be, what do you really want?
00:36:25.000 How do we give you a fulfilling career in journalism?
00:36:30.000 The kind of career someone like Ann Coulters had, where they have a legacy they can look back on with pride.
00:36:38.000 That's trickier.
00:36:39.000 Anyway, before I get to Bubba and Hanks, I'm going to repeat johnnyapple.com.
00:36:49.000 That's true.
00:36:51.000 Johnnyapple.com.
00:36:53.000 Please go there right now.
00:36:55.000 Use promo code Gavin.
00:36:57.000 Get 20% off.
00:36:59.000 There's the tincture for your coffee.
00:37:01.000 There's the gummies to nap.
00:37:04.000 There is the topical for your sore joints.
00:37:10.000 You know, I was thinking this morning when I got out of bed in slow motion, sore joints is things that working class people have when they work in factories.
00:37:18.000 I've synthesized this by going to a gym and abusing myself and sparring and stuff and getting beaten up.
00:37:25.000 It's like I feel guilty about not being the same blue collar my dad was as a young man and all my ancestors are.
00:37:33.000 So I'm synthesizing it.
00:37:35.000 Same with the fights, too.
00:37:36.000 My dad fought every day.
00:37:38.000 I don't really come across fights in real life, so I make them my pay people.
00:37:43.000 How dare you?
00:37:45.000 JohnnyAppleCBD.com, johnnyapple.com, promo code GAVIN20% off.
00:37:51.000 Please support those brave enough to support free speech.
00:37:56.000 We like them more than a friend.
00:37:58.000 All right, magical time here where I end the show for YouTube.
00:38:03.000 And I end it with how I end every show.
00:38:05.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:38:08.000 I also implore you to go to censored.tv.
00:38:12.000 Oh, that'll already be in the end card thing, right?
00:38:15.000 Yeah, so take it away, me.
00:38:17.000 Yeah, so take it away.
00:38:31.000 Okay, this is more complicated.
00:38:36.000 What kind of journalists are there?
00:38:40.000 There's foreign correspondents, right?
00:38:45.000 Then there's the left.
00:38:48.000 Now, I used to sort of isolate the New York Times, especially more than 20 years ago, as different from the left.
00:39:00.000 There's obviously the idiot left, the cat blogs, the daily beast, the daily dot.
00:39:06.000 that's still around?
00:39:14.000 Sorry, I don't know why I'm writing all this down.
00:39:16.000 HuffPo, Daily Beast, BuzzFeed, right?
00:39:19.000 My alma mater, Vice.
00:39:22.000 I would put the New York Times in there.
00:39:24.000 I would put the Washington Post in there.
00:39:29.000 Box.
00:39:30.000 Fox.
00:39:31.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols in the UK.
00:39:36.000 Now, the right, I would put down Daily Caller, right?
00:39:43.000 Blaze.
00:39:46.000 What else is there?
00:39:47.000 Daily Wire.
00:39:48.000 Daily Wire.
00:39:51.000 Fox News.
00:39:54.000 Summit News.
00:39:55.000 Although, it's rare that those people have journalists.
00:39:58.000 And I don't think you'd be very satisfied being a journalist at Fox News because it's just their stupid website that no one reads.
00:40:05.000 So I'm not going to include CNN and MSNBC.
00:40:07.000 Those are talking heads.
00:40:08.000 That's a totally different deal.
00:40:10.000 Then there's the far right, like V-Dare.
00:40:14.000 What is Steve Saylor's thing?
00:40:17.000 How do you spell Saylor?
00:40:18.000 S-A-Y?
00:40:20.000 S-A-I-L-E-R.
00:40:22.000 C S News or something?
00:40:26.000 UNZ Review?
00:40:27.000 Is that it?
00:40:28.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:40:28.000 UNS Review.
00:40:33.000 I would say that the quality of journalism is obviously much higher with Daily Caller, Blaze, Daily Wire people.
00:40:42.000 And even more, I'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but even more thorough with VDARE and UNS Review.
00:40:51.000 But once you go VDARE, there's no coming back.
00:40:56.000 So unless you're really passionately against immigration and it's something that you've researched.
00:41:02.000 Jen, I don't see you or pretty much any woman I know going far right.
00:41:07.000 So let's stick to right and left, right?
00:41:09.000 And foreign correspondents, I'm just chopping that out.
00:41:12.000 You will die.
00:41:13.000 You're a pretty girl.
00:41:15.000 You're going to get raped and murdered.
00:41:16.000 If you go to any African country, shit, if you go to the north of Paris in the Muslim part, you're going to get raped.
00:41:23.000 So that's a no on the foreign correspondent.
00:41:26.000 You don't want to end up like Lara Logan.
00:41:31.000 Who, by the way, is a conservative now.
00:41:34.000 They say a conservative is just a liberal who got mugged.
00:41:37.000 Well, it appears a conservative reporter is just a liberal reporter who got gang raped by Muslims.
00:41:44.000 Sorry.
00:41:46.000 See what I'm saying?
00:41:48.000 So, Jen, if you are fairly interested in journalism, but, you know, you're not like an all-nighter type gal who's going to be researching and ordering a pizza and going through all these things.
00:42:03.000 Wait a minute, this is the same guy who was in Syria four years ago.
00:42:07.000 That kind of thing.
00:42:10.000 And it's more of just like something you think would be fun and you might meet a guy and you have a cool sort of circle of friends.
00:42:17.000 And it's like a hobby.
00:42:20.000 I think you should go with HuffPo Daily.dailybeast BuzzFeed.
00:42:25.000 You can start there as an intern, then you'll get some gigs.
00:42:28.000 I think you should follow the agenda of there's multiple genders, white men suck.
00:42:34.000 I mean, maybe you can not do that.
00:42:36.000 Maybe you can work at those places and not totally sell your soul to the SJW bullshit.
00:42:42.000 But if this is a passing interest, like I want to be a mod or I want to be a punk or something, then those are what's for you.
00:42:53.000 It's a fun phase kind of journalism.
00:42:58.000 But if you want to do more serious stuff, like here's a good example.
00:43:02.000 There's the Washington Post, which is just a PR firm that does Jeff Bezos' bidding, and Jeff Bezos wants you to hate Trump.
00:43:11.000 So you just say, Trump.
00:43:13.000 I saw one article that was right out of the Washington Post, but it was actually on Daily Mail.
00:43:17.000 And it was, Trump says, I haven't touched, they said, are you worried about the coronavirus?
00:43:21.000 He goes, yeah, of course, I haven't touched my face in weeks.
00:43:23.000 I miss it.
00:43:24.000 I miss my face.
00:43:25.000 And then they go, yet he was pictured on Tuesday like this.
00:43:30.000 What?
00:43:31.000 What a scoop, huh?
00:43:33.000 Nailed you.
00:43:34.000 Ha ha, Trump.
00:43:36.000 You did touch your face.
00:43:38.000 So that's the Washington Post.
00:43:40.000 But the Washington Times, on the other hand, is much more legitimate and you have to, you know, do your research.
00:43:49.000 You have to cross your T's and dot your I's and make sure you know what you're talking about.
00:43:54.000 Is that for you?
00:43:56.000 It's a really interesting profession if that's what you want to do.
00:43:59.000 If you're serious about this and you want to, say, cover the Roger Stone trial, if you're worth a grain of salt, you'd have to notice that the jurors are biased and the judge was just choosing jurors who look like her.
00:44:14.000 It was all Chardonnay and Latte and zero Budweiser on that jury.
00:44:20.000 That's something that you could cover.
00:44:22.000 And you know what's cool about that kind of real actual journalist?
00:44:25.000 Not a Tattletale journalist, but a real journalist?
00:44:29.000 You start to accrue sources.
00:44:32.000 And when you've been doing it for, say, 10 years and you say sources say that the White House is a blah, blah, blah, you're not talking, you're not making shit up like they do with these celebrity magazines.
00:44:44.000 You have real sources who call you and give you scoops.
00:44:47.000 In fact, you become a conduit for them, those who can't speak.
00:44:52.000 So I can't tell you how much money they lost in Iraq.
00:44:56.000 I can't complain to my boss and say, you guys lost a pallet of $3 billion in Iraq of just raw cash.
00:45:04.000 That's frustrating, but you can't say that.
00:45:06.000 They might fucking kill you.
00:45:07.000 But you can tell Jen that, and now Jen gets it in the article.
00:45:12.000 So it gets much easier over time because you just call your guy up.
00:45:17.000 Oh, it's this kind of a case?
00:45:18.000 Rape, someone exonerated for rape because it was statutory rape, but it really wasn't.
00:45:24.000 You call your rape lawyer, your criminal DA, defense attorney.
00:45:28.000 And they go, no, no, no, that Wasn't like the typical.
00:45:31.000 Anyway, I'm babbling here, but it starts to sort of, you start to beat a path for yourself, is what I'm trying to say.
00:45:39.000 But one of the best parts about being an intern, I mentioned this earlier, is you get to see if that's what you want.
00:45:45.000 Sometimes a really quality journalist is like a scientist, and they'll pursue a route for a long time, and it won't pan out.
00:45:55.000 For example, James O'Keefe sent me down to New Orleans to find out if this bitch was corrupt, this bitch who threw him in jail.
00:46:02.000 Latourno, I think her name was, something like that.
00:46:05.000 I did go down there.
00:46:07.000 I spent about four days on her staff recording everything.
00:46:12.000 Nothing.
00:46:13.000 She's not corrupt.
00:46:14.000 She just, she's a cunt.
00:46:17.000 But she's not doing anything illegal.
00:46:19.000 And she has some mildly hypocritical views about climate change.
00:46:22.000 She doesn't think it's a big deal, but her supporters do nothing real there.
00:46:26.000 So I went home.
00:46:28.000 That's similar to sales.
00:46:30.000 Actually, it's similar to a lot of the shit us men do.
00:46:32.000 You pursue something for a long time, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel, and you just go, well, that was time wasted.
00:46:38.000 I think a lot of young people, especially female young people, have trouble understanding that.
00:46:42.000 That you can work for two years on something and it's nothing.
00:46:46.000 That's the free market.
00:46:48.000 And that's how science is and that's how journalism should be.
00:46:52.000 You should have things that blow up in your face.
00:46:57.000 But these Vox HuffPo types, I mean, they fucking fart and they make sure that it's written down.
00:47:02.000 And they get paid their $20 a column for it.
00:47:07.000 I don't, I mean, I feel like I know you pretty well, Jen, but I can't really tell if you're someone who wants to really pursue this or you just think it's a fun job.
00:47:19.000 And by the way, I'm not criticizing you for either of those.
00:47:23.000 It could be fun to just be a silly daily beast type that writes like, why Charlie's Angels flopped kind of a thing.
00:47:31.000 That could be fun.
00:47:34.000 But the real journalism, it's few and far between.
00:47:38.000 It doesn't pay that great.
00:47:39.000 You do get fired a lot.
00:47:40.000 Naomi Schaefer-Riley, one of my faves, she wrote about black PhDs in African-American studies and colleges.
00:47:49.000 She said, have you read some of these?
00:47:50.000 They're absolute shit.
00:47:52.000 And they're always complaining about the white man and stuff.
00:47:54.000 You look at like normal PhDs, and it's a huge variety of topics.
00:47:58.000 But you look at black dissertations, and it's all the same thing again and again.
00:48:03.000 Everywhere's racist, and my life sucked.
00:48:07.000 And she got fired for that, even though everything she said was true.
00:48:11.000 And their beef was she hadn't read the entire, every single PhD that she wrote mentioned.
00:48:16.000 She hadn't read them in their entirety.
00:48:19.000 So you'll have to go through that.
00:48:21.000 Or, you know, men, this is more pertains to men, I guess.
00:48:25.000 Chris Matthews just had his career flushed down the toilet for sexual harassment.
00:48:29.000 It had nothing to do with sexual harassment.
00:48:30.000 He has his career flushed down the toilet because he was becoming a hindrance to the DNC.
00:48:36.000 He was criticizing Bernie.
00:48:38.000 He's criticizing Biden.
00:48:39.000 He was affecting their long game.
00:48:42.000 So they dug up some bitch who said he was rude three or four years ago.
00:48:48.000 Turfed him.
00:48:49.000 So when you're a real journalist, you have to deal with risks like that.
00:48:53.000 And being good at it, if you will.
00:48:57.000 But it's a very rewarding thing.
00:48:59.000 Like, for example, I'm very excited about my next project.
00:49:02.000 And I'm not a journalist, but I play one on TV.
00:49:06.000 And I want to go through the past 10 suicides at the NYPD.
00:49:11.000 There's been about one a month this year.
00:49:12.000 I want to show their faces and names.
00:49:14.000 And then I want to go through, has there been any, you know, Trayvon Martins in that time?
00:49:20.000 And then I want to touch on some of these in 10 days.
00:49:27.000 Jesus, I didn't know that.
00:49:29.000 I want to touch on like Sandra Bland, remember Alicia Keys said, died for having a taillight out.
00:49:35.000 Well, no, she hanged herself.
00:49:36.000 She was a manic depressive and she tried to kill herself many times.
00:49:39.000 This time she was successful.
00:49:42.000 The cops did not kill her.
00:49:45.000 So I want to juxtapose those two and show you that you're being lied to and blacks are not being hunted for sport, yet cops are being dehumanized to the point where they no longer feel like heroes and that's why they chose that job, to catch the bad guy.
00:49:58.000 But when they're the bad guy, their whole identity is gone.
00:50:00.000 And when you take away a man's identity, he doesn't have anything to live for anymore.
00:50:04.000 And he hangs himself, which is why so many divorced dads hang themselves because they're no longer the provider.
00:50:10.000 They're no longer the dad.
00:50:11.000 No longer the authority figure.
00:50:13.000 Did you know, by the way, I went to the local bar near my house and one of the main dudes had just hanged himself?
00:50:22.000 Really?
00:50:23.000 He was.
00:50:25.000 I don't think you would know him.
00:50:27.000 But I knew him and talked to him a million times.
00:50:29.000 But he lost his job and he was broke.
00:50:33.000 Couldn't provide for his kids.
00:50:35.000 And fucking hang.
00:50:38.000 I knew him.
00:50:39.000 I just found out about this today.
00:50:44.000 Anyway, so that got less complicated as it went on.
00:50:48.000 But Jen, it comes down to this.
00:50:55.000 Do you love writing?
00:50:56.000 Does it keep you up at night?
00:50:57.000 I can't remember.
00:50:58.000 I think it was Jack Kerouac.
00:51:01.000 I can't remember what writer said this, but he said, you should only write for a living if you can't not write.
00:51:09.000 Now, journalist and writer are the same thing.
00:51:12.000 The journalist part of you just comes up with the idea.
00:51:14.000 You still have to mold it.
00:51:16.000 And if you're not excited to write for the high school paper or you don't have a blog right now, then I'm not sure it's for you.
00:51:22.000 Like it should be a burning need.
00:51:25.000 You have to get the word out.
00:51:27.000 Even when I go on vacation, I have my notes on my phone of all the different things and I email myself stories because I'm constantly feeling this compulsion to document and to figure stuff out and to tell people this is what's really going on.
00:51:40.000 Like that pool in Australia we talked about this week where Australia was prevented from naming it after the swimmer Hockton or something, who mocked Sun Yang.
00:51:52.000 Sun Yang was an Olympic swimmer who was doping.
00:51:56.000 And this Australian swimmer, Hockton, said, you're fucking doping.
00:51:59.000 I'm not standing with You on the stands.
00:52:01.000 So later they wanted to name an Australian swimming pool after him.
00:52:04.000 China said that would be offensive to us because he was mean to Sun Yang.
00:52:07.000 And Australia went, Okay, we wouldn't want to offend you.
00:52:10.000 Your income is too important to us.
00:52:12.000 Meanwhile, the guy was right.
00:52:14.000 Sun Yang was doping.
00:52:15.000 Now, when I heard that story, I thought that has to get out there.
00:52:19.000 We have to tell people that.
00:52:21.000 Even today, at the gym, I talked to this other boxer and he's talking about how, you know, as a fireman, you make, you make, well, I won't say what he makes, but I'd say he makes $100 after tax.
00:52:35.000 That becomes about $70, $60.
00:52:39.000 Then you have to pay $40 to your wife for child support, even though you look after the kids.
00:52:45.000 That leaves you with $20.
00:52:48.000 That's not a good deal.
00:52:49.000 And I thought, that affects 50% of the American population, yet you never see it on the fucking news.
00:52:54.000 I want it on the news.
00:52:55.000 I want to get that out there.
00:52:56.000 Do you have that compulsion?
00:52:58.000 Because if you don't, don't do this job.
00:53:05.000 All right.
00:53:06.000 Well, we're about to take some calls, but let's, and I apologize for packing so many ads in this.
00:53:14.000 But you do the whole, this is one day a week.
00:53:16.000 We give you a few ads, and they probably total up about two minutes of your time.
00:53:20.000 So take a break from complaining, please, and focus on Bubba and Hanks beef.
00:53:27.000 www.
00:53:30.000 Actually, you don't have to put in the www unless you're a fucking boomer.
00:53:34.000 Bubbaandhanks.com.
00:53:37.000 Bubba and Hanks.
00:53:38.000 Have you got up there?
00:53:39.000 Show the URL.
00:53:40.000 That helps people.
00:53:41.000 No, the URL at the top.
00:53:43.000 Okay.
00:53:44.000 I have it on the Chiron.
00:53:45.000 BubbaandHanks.com.
00:53:46.000 Oh, okay.
00:53:47.000 Sorry, I'm retarded.
00:53:49.000 They're brand new.
00:53:50.000 By the way, did you see Britt Hume is in trouble because he showed a picture of the election and sexy vinyl fetish was on it?
00:53:59.000 That pissed me off.
00:54:01.000 Yeah, I buy my wife lingerie all the time.
00:54:05.000 Good.
00:54:06.000 I'm glad he's buying his wife sexy outfits.
00:54:08.000 They're both old.
00:54:10.000 She's a big-titted blonde.
00:54:11.000 He's still horny for her.
00:54:13.000 And he buys her a sexy outfit.
00:54:16.000 I went to Sexy Vixen Vinyl and looked at some of the stuff.
00:54:20.000 It's very spicy.
00:54:22.000 Click on it.
00:54:23.000 Nothing wrong.
00:54:23.000 There's nothing wrong.
00:54:24.000 I hope Bubba and Hanks don't mind us sticking this into the middle of their ad.
00:54:27.000 No, go to the site.
00:54:30.000 Oh, sexyvixen.com.
00:54:31.000 No, it's not.
00:54:31.000 Look, click on the bottom right picture.
00:54:36.000 And look in the top left.
00:54:38.000 Is there a top left there?
00:54:39.000 No, they cropped it.
00:54:40.000 It's called like Yaya or something.
00:54:42.000 Anyway, I was checking out similar outfits that they have, and you think, so a horny guy wants to dress up his wife in a sexy costume?
00:54:51.000 What a loser.
00:54:53.000 It reminds me of when I was a little kid.
00:54:55.000 We were about 13, and we found out that this guy, Craig Fraser, was touching some girl's boob, him and this girl he liked.
00:55:03.000 They were both 13 or whatever.
00:55:05.000 They sat down.
00:55:06.000 They were naked and they were just sort of touching each other and they didn't do anything else.
00:55:09.000 And the thought of them sitting on a towel nude and just sort of touching and then getting dressed made us all laugh.
00:55:14.000 Ha ha, you loser, Craig.
00:55:18.000 But you think when young people are approaching adolescence and they're starting their sexuality, that's like the most normal way to do it, like at the same age, at the same pace.
00:55:28.000 And is that okay?
00:55:29.000 Oh, let's stop.
00:55:31.000 And we laughed.
00:55:32.000 We laugh at normal sexuality.
00:55:34.000 Not that I'm encouraging the sexualization of children.
00:55:37.000 We laugh at normal sexuality.
00:55:40.000 And then we promote Drag Queen Story Hour.
00:55:44.000 That's fantastic.
00:55:46.000 And oh, someone chopped their dick off.
00:55:47.000 Great work.
00:55:48.000 Great work.
00:55:50.000 Not the best segue in a Bubba and Hanks veteran-owned Wagyu Beef from Victoria, Texas.
00:55:57.000 This is no hormones, no antibiotics.
00:55:59.000 It's process agent package, USDA approved.
00:56:02.000 I don't know if I told you this, Ryan, but the first caller is winning a massive package from Bubbaandhanks.com.
00:56:12.000 The first phone you answer is going to win.
00:56:15.000 You ready?
00:56:19.000 Two bone and ribeye steaks.
00:56:22.000 Damn.
00:56:22.000 One two-pound ground beef.
00:56:27.000 Also, two-pound package of third-pound ground beef patties.
00:56:33.000 And finally, in the same package, two New York strip steaks.
00:56:38.000 Courtesy.
00:56:39.000 All courtesy of Bubba and Hanks beef.
00:56:43.000 So in case you're not the first caller tonight, which we'll get to in a matter of minutes, then go to BubbaandHanks.com, promo code GAVIN15, and you get 15% off all purchases.
00:56:58.000 15% off.
00:56:59.000 You know, when you have good beef and you just, you're thinking about it for hours after?
00:57:03.000 That's Bubba and Hanks beef.
00:57:06.000 It traumatizes you, but in reverse, you have this buzz after it.
00:57:12.000 And they sent us some here that changed my life forever.
00:57:15.000 It's the Budweiser of beef.
00:57:18.000 Actually, they'd probably hate that because they work so hard to make it fancy, and Bud is not fancy.
00:57:22.000 *Mario grunts* Apologies, by the way, to Joaquin Phoenix, if he's watching this.
00:57:34.000 He knows that we are a speciesist and he's totally against speciesism.
00:57:40.000 Is that what it's called?
00:57:41.000 Speciesism?
00:57:42.000 I think so.
00:57:43.000 Maybe some blue-collar machine shoppist can make a video telling me how to pronounce it properly.
00:57:50.000 I don't want to subjugate you, Ryan, or treat you like a lesser.
00:57:54.000 I know that, well, how old is Japanese culture?
00:57:57.000 Probably 30,000 years old.
00:57:59.000 I know 30,000 years of history have taught us more, but can you get me a beer?
00:58:02.000 40, 45, I guess.
00:58:04.000 40, 40, 45.
00:58:07.000 Old Bunny.
00:58:08.000 40, 45, I love the beginning of that sketch.
00:58:10.000 Old Bunny popped his clogs last night.
00:58:14.000 Popped his clogs.
00:58:16.000 What does that mean, dye?
00:58:17.000 Yeah.
00:58:18.000 You fell down.
00:58:19.000 I guess your shoes popped off.
00:58:21.000 You popped your clogs.
00:58:24.000 So anyway, Jen, I know there's a lot of ads in there.
00:58:28.000 I hope I've helped.
00:58:29.000 He's like, I bought a lot of beef, and now I don't have joint pain.
00:58:33.000 Here's my final piece of advice for you, my dear.
00:58:37.000 If you have this compulsion to report stories and write, then you're probably not privy to major scandals right now so you could have a blog and just write silly stories to sort of practice right to hone it you know you you're not a writer until you can hit your keyboard without looking at it um and then i would recommend interning at one of these stupid places like huffington post then if you're if you're starting to feel real and
00:59:06.000 this is what's for you, then quickly drop those because they're going to look really bad on your resume.
00:59:11.000 And jump over.
00:59:12.000 In fact, they might think you're a spy.
00:59:14.000 And then jump over to Blaze, Daily Wire, and intern there.
00:59:17.000 And you can intern for two years without being a bitch.
00:59:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:59:21.000 And by a bitch, I mean like a victim getting taken advantage of.
00:59:25.000 And the right always accepts people that walked away from the left.
00:59:27.000 Yeah.
00:59:29.000 I would be dubious if someone was coming from Huffington Post to work at Daily Wire.
00:59:34.000 But I bet you'll get treated a lot better.
00:59:36.000 And, you know, there's more care you'll get from the right.
00:59:40.000 But anyway, starting turning at the left.
00:59:42.000 I can't help you with any of that, by the way.
00:59:45.000 In fact, saying you know me will ruin your career, including Vice.
00:59:49.000 And then see if you're enjoying it.
00:59:52.000 And if you're enjoying it, stop what you're doing and go to the right.
00:59:55.000 And also, write for your school newspaper.
00:59:59.000 That's really good practice.
01:00:02.000 Because the real world is not that different.
01:00:05.000 They let you get away with a few more mistakes.
01:00:06.000 But that's about it.
01:00:07.000 One last thing I'd like to say before we start taking calls.
01:00:10.000 The news is all about Chuck Schumer saying to the Supreme Court judges, you will not, if you keep going this way, you're in for a fight and you will not know what hit you.
01:00:23.000 And everyone on the right is talking about how that's a threat.
01:00:26.000 No, I didn't.
01:00:28.000 Stop being a pussy, okay?
01:00:29.000 Charles Johnson was kicked off of Twitter because he said, let's take this sucker out.
01:00:35.000 Talking about D-Ray Mackison.
01:00:36.000 He obviously didn't mean someone should sit on a grassy knoll and peg him off like a sniper.
01:00:42.000 He just meant let's get rid of him.
01:00:44.000 And when Chuck Schumer said that about the Supreme Court judge, Kavanaugh and all that, he didn't mean that we're going to go beat them up.
01:00:51.000 Can we not be the same gigantic pussies the left is, please?
01:00:55.000 God damn.
01:00:58.000 Stop clutching your pearls because someone made a gesture, a semi-violent gesture.
01:01:06.000 Conductive rights have come under attack in a way we haven't seen in modern history.
01:01:11.000 Of course it's about abortion, isn't it?
01:01:13.000 That's the only thing they care about with these judges is Roe v.
01:01:15.000 Wade.
01:01:15.000 We want to kill.
01:01:16.000 And they pretend that it's about some poor girl who's got six kids and they're all turning to crime and she doesn't want a seventh.
01:01:23.000 Howard Stern does this.
01:01:24.000 The insinuation, we don't need to hear that anymore, is that, um, excuse me, the insinuation is that, uh, they're preventing crime by committing this genocide.
01:01:36.000 But the truth is the real, the women you see at the Women's March defending abortion, they're really sluts who made a mistake.
01:01:47.000 Let's be honest.
01:01:48.000 And they feel unbelievably guilty because in their own genes, they feel that what they just did was fucking horrible.
01:01:55.000 So to overcome those nightmares and that deep-seated overwhelming guilt, they go, actually, I loved it.
01:02:01.000 I like abortion.
01:02:05.000 And I think it's very important.
01:02:06.000 And to take it away is to kill someone.
01:02:08.000 It's a really, really important thing that we need.
01:02:11.000 It's not just some flippant mistake a slut makes.
01:02:14.000 What the fuck have I done?
01:02:18.000 I mean, I know of women who did it.
01:02:25.000 Like, two months before they got married.
01:02:27.000 And then had a baby six months or got pregnant five months after they're married.
01:02:31.000 And you go, you killed a baby because their timing was off by a couple months?
01:02:36.000 What?
01:02:37.000 I knew those video drops would pan out.
01:02:44.000 It's a great...
01:02:44.000 You've got to organize them way better, though, dude.
01:02:46.000 Just having a file open on your desktop.
01:02:50.000 I tried it the other way with the icons.
01:02:53.000 But I've learned how to do it alphabetically.
01:02:55.000 So I...
01:02:56.000 That German thing with the buttons, I'll pay for that.
01:02:59.000 What was that, 300 bucks?
01:03:00.000 I'll pay for that.
01:03:00.000 Yeah, just about.
01:03:01.000 That'd be cool.
01:03:02.000 All right.
01:03:02.000 Let's see who the winner of the Baba and Hanks giveaway is.
01:03:05.000 All right.
01:03:05.000 They've been on the line for a while.
01:03:08.000 Tony and Laura China.
01:03:09.000 That's what it says here.
01:03:11.000 I don't think that's what it actually is.
01:03:14.000 It's...
01:03:14.000 Hi, Tony.
01:03:16.000 Wow.
01:03:17.000 I'm so shocked.
01:03:18.000 I won.
01:03:19.000 I never won anything.
01:03:20.000 That's spectacular.
01:03:22.000 You are the winner.
01:03:23.000 Wow.
01:03:25.000 Woo-hoo.
01:03:26.000 Thank you so much.
01:03:27.000 That's so exciting.
01:03:28.000 And it was...
01:03:30.000 Tony and I wanted to say why China sucks.
01:03:34.000 Oh, good.
01:03:35.000 Whatever that...
01:03:35.000 That's...
01:03:37.000 However that came across.
01:03:38.000 But thank you so much.
01:03:39.000 That's so exciting.
01:03:40.000 And my husband's a super grill master.
01:03:43.000 So he will make...
01:03:44.000 We will be...
01:03:45.000 Use that meat in a wonderful way.
01:03:48.000 He's a fantastic cook.
01:03:49.000 Okay.
01:03:50.000 You have to keep in touch with us and tell us how it went and how much you loved it and all that stuff.
01:03:54.000 Oh, absolutely.
01:03:56.000 Absolutely.
01:03:57.000 So I guess...
01:03:58.000 Hold on a sec.
01:03:58.000 Ryan...
01:03:59.000 Ryan is writing down your phone number and then he's going to call you back after and get all your deets.
01:04:04.000 Why don't you check with her the last three numbers?
01:04:07.000 Awesome.
01:04:08.000 Last three?
01:04:10.000 One, three, nine.
01:04:12.000 Yes.
01:04:15.000 We're good.
01:04:15.000 Okay.
01:04:15.000 Okay.
01:04:15.000 Great.
01:04:16.000 What's your question?
01:04:19.000 So...
01:04:21.000 Real...
01:04:22.000 Real quick.
01:04:23.000 May I add my two cents with why China sucks?
01:04:26.000 Yes, please.
01:04:27.000 Okay.
01:04:29.000 So...
01:04:30.000 Look up Chinese foot binding.
01:04:33.000 It sounds kind of not so bad.
01:04:36.000 But it will make you gag.
01:04:37.000 And it was a practice with what they did to women.
01:04:42.000 The aristocracy females...
01:04:42.000 High...
01:04:45.000 the chinese foot binding and the british uh the british uh outlawed it and there's still women today that will who are in their 80s and 90s that will trip and fall because they can barely walk because their feet are so deformed from it.
01:05:04.000 Yes, thank you for your call.
01:05:04.000 Wow.
01:05:06.000 Is that it?
01:05:08.000 Yeah, one more.
01:05:10.000 So in America, they have the we have taco trucks.
01:05:15.000 We have taco trucks in America.
01:05:17.000 But in China, they have execution trucks.
01:05:21.000 So they execute prisoners and they harvest their organs in the same truck.
01:05:28.000 And then they're mobile units.
01:05:30.000 And this, I don't know why this isn't front page news nonstop, but these aren't prisoners that are violent.
01:05:37.000 These are just free speech violators.
01:05:39.000 Well, yeah, it's Falong Gong and it's Muslims, too.
01:05:43.000 They're not a fan of Muslims.
01:05:45.000 So those two religions, if you want to call Falong Gong a religion, it's more of a cult, but whatever.
01:05:50.000 You're allowed to be in a cult.
01:05:52.000 We don't harvest Scientologists' organs over here.
01:05:55.000 And yeah, they don't see them as human, and they just take their organs out.
01:06:00.000 Like they're human garbage.
01:06:05.000 So the execution trucks, they're very, very efficient.
01:06:09.000 So they're saying that nobody donates organs in China.
01:06:14.000 It's not the culture.
01:06:15.000 But they do all these operations.
01:06:17.000 So it's big marketing.
01:06:19.000 And it's real Nazi stuff.
01:06:21.000 It's about as bad as what Nazis ever did.
01:06:24.000 Yeah, and it's funny how it's not front page news.
01:06:27.000 China likes to brag about how we have more prisoners than they do.
01:06:30.000 And we go, yeah, because you kill all yours.
01:06:36.000 Yep.
01:06:37.000 All right.
01:06:38.000 Thanks for calling.
01:06:39.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:06:41.000 Yeah.
01:06:42.000 Thank you.
01:06:43.000 Yeah.
01:06:44.000 As soon as I say thanks, hang up.
01:06:46.000 She's wonderful, but we got to keep it moving.
01:06:48.000 And do you know what's amazing about the foot biting thing, which I was obviously already very familiar with?
01:06:53.000 Wear shoes.
01:06:55.000 I wear a size 11 shoes.
01:06:56.000 If I wear 10 and a half, or God forbid, 10 for, I don't know, like not even walking.
01:07:04.000 Yeah, I mean.
01:07:05.000 Sitting in a shoe size one size too small, it's a cruel and unusual punishment.
01:07:10.000 Like I would go crazy.
01:07:12.000 My dad has kind of mangled toes because he was so poor he had to wear shoes longer than he could.
01:07:17.000 And I can't imagine that.
01:07:19.000 Now, that's just my dad's slightly uncomfortable toes.
01:07:22.000 And what I'm talking about with my foot, you wouldn't even be able to see it.
01:07:25.000 It would just be like slight, little bit too much pressure on the toe.
01:07:29.000 Now, these toes get folded under because women do look cuter with smaller feet.
01:07:35.000 That's true.
01:07:36.000 Like a woman with giant boat feet isn't as feminine as one.
01:07:39.000 But then they want the feet to be this big.
01:07:42.000 So they have these little like hooves because they look cuter and sexier.
01:07:46.000 They're actually shaped like a little heel.
01:07:48.000 I'm wearing socks that are a little bit...
01:07:52.000 Look at how her foot looks with a shoe.
01:07:55.000 That's what they're going for.
01:07:57.000 Like that's, my daughter is 13, much smaller than that.
01:08:01.000 That's like even smaller than my seven-year-olds.
01:08:04.000 Go, go, go up, go up.
01:08:06.000 Look at the little blue boots.
01:08:08.000 Like they're trying to make their feet look like six-year-olds, five-year-olds.
01:08:13.000 Holy shit.
01:08:16.000 That's grody, man.
01:08:18.000 I'm wearing socks that are a little too tight, and that's bugging me.
01:08:22.000 My shoes are normal size, but my little socks are like, they're just putting a little bit of...
01:08:30.000 My sockies.
01:08:31.000 Ever again.
01:08:32.000 All right, next caller.
01:08:33.000 Anything to get me away from Ryan's sock rant?
01:08:36.000 All right.
01:08:37.000 Elvis calling in about my little socks.
01:08:40.000 Elvis.
01:08:40.000 Okay.
01:08:42.000 Hey, can you guys hear me?
01:08:44.000 Yeah.
01:08:45.000 Hey, first and foremost, a couple things.
01:08:47.000 Guys, love the level of content you all put out.
01:08:50.000 Me, Ma's an absolute star.
01:08:52.000 Even love the free speech that you used to do, Gavin, with the two people debating back and forth at the bar.
01:08:58.000 Also, love the deep dive that you did on the Central Park 5 with, well, it was more of an and cultures report, but you really talked about, you know, that whole deal.
01:09:07.000 Anyway, my question.
01:09:09.000 So I worked in New York City, and a while back I was out with a couple of my coworkers, you know, post-work having some drinks, and 2008 economic collapse came up, and they started saying that that was all pretty much part of, it was the fault of like the capitalists, the bankers, and they said that the bailout was a government bailout and that it was good policy because the government stepped in and that the socialist policy.
01:09:38.000 And I just didn't really have a comeback for that.
01:09:40.000 And that's kind of one of those issues where, I mean, I just wanted to get your thoughts on it, you know, and if you would have anything, I guess, to rebuttal that when people say that.
01:09:51.000 If your company fails, then you fail.
01:09:54.000 And this whole notion that GM borrowed some money from Obama and then it all got paid back and now we own GM is absolute horseshit.
01:10:04.000 It's a lie.
01:10:05.000 You know who's written about this extensively?
01:10:07.000 He's much smarter than I is Matt Welch over at Reason.org.
01:10:15.000 Look up his writings on the bailout.
01:10:18.000 Michelle Malkin has also written great stuff about how the bailout should never have happened.
01:10:18.000 It was a waste of time.
01:10:23.000 It was not a success.
01:10:24.000 But this whole notion that, and we talked about this, Ryan and I watched the movie Hustlers, where the crux of the movie is that the 2008 collapse was the result of Greedy Wall Street guys.
01:10:37.000 No.
01:10:39.000 Don't.
01:10:39.000 Enough, enough.
01:10:40.000 Matt Welch, sorry.
01:10:44.000 Was it Matt Welch or Walsh?
01:10:46.000 Reason.com.
01:10:48.000 Matt Welch.
01:10:49.000 Okay.
01:10:51.000 The reason that we had that collapse was the government.
01:10:54.000 The government said blacks and Hispanics should have homes because they'll be more likely to vote.
01:10:58.000 The Republicans thought to be more likely to vote Republican.
01:11:00.000 The Democrats thought to be more likely to vote Democrat.
01:11:03.000 The government made it super easy to buy a house.
01:11:06.000 You barely needed any credit.
01:11:08.000 That's what started all these extra mortgages.
01:11:11.000 That's what led to mortgage bundling.
01:11:13.000 It was government intervention, telling the banks to give mortgages to everyone.
01:11:19.000 And then, after that happened, the money was just sitting on the floor and Wall Street said, well, shit, look at all these bundled mortgages.
01:11:25.000 We should trade these and sell them.
01:11:27.000 They're worth a lot of money.
01:11:28.000 This is ridiculous.
01:11:29.000 There's no way anyone Can ever pay them.
01:11:31.000 So, Wall Street did nothing wrong, in a sense.
01:11:34.000 They were handed something by the government.
01:11:36.000 And the bailouts were bullshit.
01:11:37.000 So, tell your friends to fuck off.
01:11:39.000 And if you want to see that myth in Overdrive, check out Hustlers, the movie.
01:11:44.000 They pretend that they robbed all these guys as some sort of like Robin Hood thing, even though when they got the money, all they did was go fucking shopping.
01:11:53.000 Anyway, thanks for your call.
01:11:56.000 I'm going to narrow this down to one question per call.
01:11:59.000 You don't get like my first two questions.
01:12:03.000 We got Nicholas talking about chewing tobacco.
01:12:06.000 What's up, Nick?
01:12:09.000 How's it going?
01:12:10.000 Hey.
01:12:13.000 So, I don't know, I guess a couple weeks ago.
01:12:17.000 Are you homeless?
01:12:21.000 That's my dog.
01:12:22.000 Oh.
01:12:25.000 Alright, so a couple weeks ago, I knew Ryan was back.
01:12:30.000 Yes, yes.
01:12:34.000 You're breaking up a little bit, bud.
01:12:36.000 Watching Ryan do it.
01:12:40.000 All right, thank you for your call.
01:12:41.000 Those are all great points.
01:12:43.000 It was good hearing from you.
01:12:44.000 Your phone's crapping out, sir.
01:12:45.000 Sorry.
01:12:47.000 Right into the middle.
01:12:48.000 Ryan, right when I say thank you for your call, hang up.
01:12:50.000 We couldn't hear you, dude.
01:12:52.000 Maybe we can guess his question, though.
01:12:55.000 Ryan, what kind of tobacco were you chewing?
01:12:57.000 Was it the stupid tea bags?
01:12:58.000 No.
01:12:59.000 Well, I had a choice of those.
01:13:03.000 The Camel Snuss.
01:13:04.000 People have been telling me Zyn, Z-Y-N, and I can't find them in stores, so I'm not going to...
01:13:04.000 Went through those.
01:13:12.000 So you did have those tea bags that have the broken glass in them that cut open your gums.
01:13:16.000 Yeah, I took those on the homeless man's foreskin.
01:13:20.000 Yes.
01:13:21.000 So fucking gross.
01:13:23.000 And you still have to spit, right?
01:13:24.000 Just like with normal chewing tobacco?
01:13:26.000 What do you do?
01:13:27.000 Swallow it all?
01:13:28.000 Yeah, that doesn't matter.
01:13:29.000 That's a very little bit.
01:13:31.000 But when you have loose tobacco in your mouth, you get this juice that will accumulate.
01:13:34.000 It's not very good.
01:13:36.000 Frankly, it's very bad.
01:13:38.000 There's a lot of juice out there that's quite good.
01:13:40.000 Orange.
01:13:41.000 We like Grand Band.
01:13:42.000 So it's probably someone giving you a tip on you should try this kind of fucking tobacco.
01:13:45.000 I think he was saying that he was dipping, and when he saw me do it, he thought that it was so gross that he stopped or something.
01:13:50.000 Yeah.
01:13:50.000 Oh, good.
01:13:51.000 I think that's where he was.
01:13:52.000 I hate hanging around with tobacco chewers because you'll have about seven beers and then you'll go reach.
01:13:57.000 Obviously, you're not putting them away if you're at your house or on your porch.
01:14:02.000 And inevitably, you go to grab yours.
01:14:04.000 It feels a tiny bit warm.
01:14:05.000 And then that's terrible.
01:14:09.000 And you inhale.
01:14:10.000 It doesn't happen every night, but if you hang out with the guy a lot, it's going to happen one every five drinking sessions.
01:14:15.000 And you just, you fill your mouth with his spit and his fucking tobacco.
01:14:19.000 I love cigars, chewing tobacco.
01:14:21.000 That's worse than cum.
01:14:24.000 Hashtag worse than cum.
01:14:25.000 Worse than, not your cum.
01:14:27.000 It's worse than his cum.
01:14:29.000 Like if his cum was in one cup and his spit out tobacco is in another, I'd be like, I guess I would go with the tobacco.
01:14:36.000 But still, it's in the same league.
01:14:38.000 You can't buy cum at the grocery store.
01:14:40.000 You can't buy cum at the grocery store?
01:14:42.000 That's Ryan's two cent.
01:14:44.000 Welcome to my sidekick Ryan.
01:14:46.000 Hey, boss, you can't buy cum at the grocery store.
01:14:51.000 What was the thing you said the other day that was unbelievably retarded?
01:14:54.000 I couldn't.
01:14:55.000 I lost track.
01:14:56.000 Oh, God.
01:14:58.000 We got Justin on the line.
01:15:00.000 Hey, Justin, you old bat.
01:15:03.000 Yeah, what up, boys?
01:15:05.000 What up?
01:15:07.000 How we doing?
01:15:08.000 Good.
01:15:09.000 How are you?
01:15:09.000 Hey, I got to thank you guys for playing that Breitbart War YouTube clip.
01:15:14.000 I watch it fucking five times a day.
01:15:17.000 It's awesome.
01:15:18.000 And he just seems at the start of all the standing up for yourself against liberal douchebags.
01:15:24.000 And I was wondering if Gavin could talk about just kind of him personally, what kind of guy he was, and like a little bit about his, I don't know, business, his deaths, and all that stuff.
01:15:33.000 Because there's not much out there on him himself.
01:15:36.000 He was one of the most endearing and fun guys.
01:15:40.000 Dash Snow was like this, too.
01:15:43.000 When you're around Andrew Beitbart, you felt like you were at where you were supposed to be.
01:15:48.000 You know, like when you're in New York City, you're in the East Village and you're like, are we, is this where it's at?
01:15:54.000 Should we be in the Lower East Side?
01:15:55.000 Is there a party in the meatpacking district?
01:15:57.000 Should we be in Times Square?
01:15:59.000 You're up in Times Square and you're like, what are we doing way up here in Midtown?
01:16:02.000 New York is south of 14th Street.
01:16:04.000 That's where the action is.
01:16:05.000 We're up where we're with the fucking tourists.
01:16:07.000 What the fuck are we doing?
01:16:08.000 But when you're with Andrew Breitbart, you just felt like, holy shit, I'm in a history book.
01:16:13.000 And this is when, you know, he hadn't made, he hadn't started Breitbart, obviously.
01:16:17.000 He hadn't made the impact.
01:16:19.000 I first met him, I guess, in, fuck, I don't know, 2007 or something.
01:16:27.000 I can't remember when, but you just sort of felt like you were with George Washington and America hadn't been formed yet.
01:16:34.000 And the other amazing thing I loved about Breitbart is he was, he never went, he was so unpredictable.
01:16:42.000 Like we were talking on Fox News once, and I forget what the question was, but it was like Andy, what's his name, who would do the halftime on Red Eye.
01:16:53.000 And, you know, it was a lot of the Fox News stuff is set up.
01:16:56.000 Roger Ale's thing is, I want there to be a jock, a cheerleader, a nerd, a dumb guy, a smart guy.
01:17:02.000 Like, he had his characters laid out, just like the movie The Breakfast Club.
01:17:07.000 So Andrew Breitbart would, there'd be some question like, can you believe that liberals this year think that school should be free or something?
01:17:15.000 And then they go, what do you think about that, Andrew?
01:17:16.000 And then he's supposed to say, well, there's no way it could be free.
01:17:19.000 Who's going to pay for it?
01:17:21.000 And Andrew's just sitting there on TV.
01:17:24.000 And he just goes, so?
01:17:26.000 What?
01:17:26.000 What?
01:17:28.000 And they go, well, what do you think?
01:17:29.000 And he goes, what do you want me to say?
01:17:30.000 You want me to say something glib?
01:17:32.000 And I just thought, who the fuck is on a talk show and says, what do you want me to say?
01:17:38.000 Something glib?
01:17:41.000 Or the other cool thing he said once when we were on a show is we were talking about this guy, Donald Trump.
01:17:47.000 I don't know if you've heard of him, but he wanted to host the debates between, I think it was Romney and Obama who were running at the time.
01:17:54.000 So what would that have been?
01:17:56.000 That would have been 2012.
01:18:00.000 So it was 2012, and this guy named Donald Trump wanted to host the debates between Romney and Obama at Mar-a-Lago.
01:18:08.000 And we were like, what a dick.
01:18:10.000 And I was falling for the bait, too.
01:18:12.000 I was doing the Roger Ailes Breakfast Club thing.
01:18:14.000 I was like, oh, he wants to show off that he's rich.
01:18:17.000 Hey, have the debate at my place.
01:18:19.000 Yeah.
01:18:20.000 And Andrew goes, so?
01:18:22.000 That was his big word, so?
01:18:25.000 And I go, what do you mean?
01:18:27.000 Why are you straying from the script?
01:18:28.000 And he goes, the guy's an entrepreneur, a successful entrepreneur.
01:18:31.000 This was him.
01:18:32.000 I just realized now, this is him promoting Donald Trump, what, four years before he became president.
01:18:42.000 And he said, look, he's an entrepreneur.
01:18:45.000 He should show off.
01:18:46.000 That's something to be very proud of.
01:18:48.000 You made a billion dollars or three billion dollars busting your ass in New York City.
01:18:53.000 I'd much rather have a presidential debate there than it's some brainwashed socialist network like MSNBC or CNN that is already bought and paid for by someone else that has an agenda.
01:19:05.000 If there's going to be someone with an agenda, I'd rather it was an entrepreneur showing off that he made a lot of money.
01:19:12.000 So after he died, I made these t-shirts that said so with a question mark and raised a bunch of money for his family.
01:19:18.000 He was just a funny, fun guy.
01:19:22.000 It's just, you know, when you're at a party and you don't know anyone and you're talking to some people and then your best friend shows up and all of a sudden the party's fun?
01:19:33.000 That's the way he was.
01:19:35.000 And he would talk.
01:19:36.000 He was not a drug addict, by the way, like the left says.
01:19:38.000 If you want to know the truth, I think he was killed by the stress of that lawsuit from that black chick.
01:19:44.000 His marriage wasn't going great either at the time.
01:19:47.000 And I think he was overwhelmed.
01:19:48.000 And I think he died of stress.
01:19:51.000 But, man, when you were with him, you just felt like you were part of something.
01:19:59.000 He was fearless.
01:20:00.000 Show the clip.
01:20:01.000 War.
01:20:03.000 *music*
01:20:07.000 Wait, Ryan, that clip has to have the whole thing.
01:20:10.000 That's the clip that you wanted me to make.
01:20:11.000 You were like, ah, there it is.
01:20:13.000 Jesus Christ.
01:20:13.000 No, no, no.
01:20:16.000 The entire clip is, so we're out here doing this, trying to make America a better place.
01:20:20.000 You want to call us racist for that?
01:20:22.000 It's not the soundboard one.
01:20:23.000 Then he pauses and then he goes, war.
01:20:28.000 You need the context of it.
01:20:31.000 You're not going to find it.
01:20:33.000 Poop.
01:20:35.000 All the people that have gone out there against the mainstream media and said, you're going to call us racist?
01:20:41.000 You're going to call us potential Timothy McVeighs.
01:20:45.000 Fuck you.
01:20:50.000 War.
01:20:54.000 See what I mean?
01:20:55.000 That's pretty fun.
01:20:57.000 He was just so confident.
01:20:58.000 I remember one time he went to some DNC thing to harass people coming in and out, which, by the way, would lose you, your Twitter, and all your social media today, right?
01:21:08.000 That's how Alex Jones was kicked out for daring to question Oscar, what's his name?
01:21:14.000 Oliver Darcy, sorry.
01:21:17.000 And Breitbart went there, but on rollerblades.
01:21:22.000 He went there to harass them and asked them what the fuck they're doing on rollerblades.
01:21:28.000 You don't have to dig it up.
01:21:29.000 People can picture Andrew Breitbart on rollerblades.
01:21:31.000 All right, let's do the next call.
01:21:33.000 All right.
01:21:36.000 Great guy, though.
01:21:37.000 Great guy.
01:21:38.000 Great guy.
01:21:39.000 We loved him, didn't we?
01:21:40.000 He was great.
01:21:42.000 Great guy.
01:21:43.000 Auto screen failed.
01:21:44.000 Uh-oh, we got a mystery flavor.
01:21:49.000 Hello, 347.
01:21:52.000 Hello?
01:21:53.000 Hello?
01:21:55.000 Hey, what's up, Kevin?
01:21:56.000 Ryan?
01:21:57.000 What's up, dude?
01:21:58.000 Are you calling from inside your pants?
01:22:03.000 I think what's going on is you have headphones on, but they're not plugged in all the way, and we're hearing your phone in your pocket.
01:22:07.000 So we'll give you a second to fix that.
01:22:09.000 No, I'm not.
01:22:09.000 I'm actually in the bathroom.
01:22:10.000 I'm probably getting some echo.
01:22:12.000 That's probably what it is.
01:22:13.000 No, that was not.
01:22:14.000 What do you want?
01:22:15.000 Hello?
01:22:17.000 Anyway, hey, I'm just calling for some advice.
01:22:19.000 I'm a black guy from the Bronx, right-leaning.
01:22:22.000 I just started a channel, and people give me a lot of shit because they say, hey, you're brown.
01:22:26.000 You can't think that way.
01:22:27.000 Just wondering if maybe you can give me some advice as a, you know, as a newbie and shit like that.
01:22:32.000 Also, I love the show.
01:22:33.000 Ryan, you are a useful idiot.
01:22:35.000 Thank you.
01:22:36.000 I would take it very slow.
01:22:38.000 The problem with the African-American community, especially in the Bronx, is that they're not big on diversity of opinion.
01:22:46.000 And I think you should come at it from the sort of chance the rapper angle where he says, just because you're black doesn't mean you have to vote Democrat.
01:22:56.000 So instead of coming out full MAGA with the hat and everything, I would make it more like questioning things.
01:23:02.000 Like, is Trump so bad?
01:23:04.000 I've been trying to find an example of something he said that was racist, and I can't seem to come across it.
01:23:09.000 I mean, you could even lie and say, I don't like the guy, but I'm having trouble seeing why.
01:23:18.000 Baby step.
01:23:19.000 All right, you go.
01:23:20.000 Right, right, right.
01:23:21.000 Very cool, very cool.
01:23:23.000 It's sort of like the way you talk.
01:23:26.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.
01:23:27.000 But it's, yeah, you don't want to, if you're in the hood, you don't want to come out swinging.
01:23:36.000 And I know I say get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting, but I don't want you to lose all your friends and get stabbed overnight.
01:23:44.000 Don't get bronxed.
01:23:45.000 Yeah.
01:23:46.000 Don't get your pockets ran after they knock you out.
01:23:49.000 Kyle band members being fired at Philia.
01:23:55.000 Hello, Kyle?
01:23:58.000 Hey, babe, I'm on my way home from the office right now.
01:24:00.000 I just got to stop by Walgreens and then I'm going to come straight home to the business.
01:24:03.000 Honey, you better not be listening to that jerk Scottish guy with that weird man-servant chink.
01:24:10.000 No, obviously I'm not.
01:24:11.000 No, but do you need anything from Walgreens?
01:24:13.000 No, just get home quick.
01:24:14.000 Yeah, I need yogurt.
01:24:17.000 I have a yeast infection.
01:24:20.000 Okay, do you want the regular, like that vanilla one with the crunchy shit?
01:24:23.000 That is regular.
01:24:24.000 I can't put crunchy shit in my coots, you savage.
01:24:29.000 Babe, wait till I get home.
01:24:30.000 Jesus Christ.
01:24:31.000 Jesus Christ.
01:24:32.000 Miss you.
01:24:34.000 All right, I'll see you in a few, okay?
01:24:36.000 I love you.
01:24:36.000 Just kidding.
01:24:37.000 I love you too.
01:24:38.000 You're on Gavin's show, fool.
01:24:44.000 We got him.
01:24:45.000 I can't believe he thought both of us were his wife.
01:24:48.000 What a dear.
01:24:50.000 That's the kind of hijinks we get up to on this show.
01:24:54.000 Robert, pit bull attack.
01:24:58.000 Hey, fellas.
01:24:59.000 Hey, man.
01:25:01.000 Hey, I got a tale of terror from Austin.
01:25:05.000 I'm sure you know about the whole hipster situation out here.
01:25:08.000 Wait, the whole what?
01:25:09.000 The blue dot.
01:25:10.000 The whole hipster.
01:25:11.000 This is the blue dot in the middle of Texas.
01:25:13.000 Oh, dude, I used to go to Austin every single year.
01:25:18.000 In fact, my friends opened the Scoot Inn, the Long Branch Inn.
01:25:23.000 We used to go see fuck emos at Emo's.
01:25:27.000 Yeah, I still play shows all the time.
01:25:30.000 It's amazing if you find the right people, but it's going to shit.
01:25:33.000 There's, you know, the homeless problem is fucking ridiculous.
01:25:37.000 Well, look at what happened to Dream Machine.
01:25:40.000 They were banned for daring to question illegal gangsters.
01:25:46.000 Band after band in Austin get ostracized for daring to stray from the narrative.
01:25:51.000 Oh, I've been doxed by a promoter because I got an argument with somebody.
01:25:56.000 They were talking about creating like lynch mobs for people to follow gays to their cars.
01:26:01.000 And I got mobbed.
01:26:03.000 I got mugged on the way to my car with my music gear once.
01:26:05.000 And I was like, why don't you offer that to just musicians?
01:26:08.000 Why has it got to be gay people?
01:26:09.000 She fucking contacted my band and was like, you wouldn't want me to contact the rest of the clubs in Austin, would you?
01:26:15.000 And tell them you have a homophobe in your band.
01:26:18.000 It was a.
01:26:19.000 Wow.
01:26:19.000 It was pretty crazy.
01:26:21.000 There was that other guy, Tyler, what's his name?
01:26:21.000 That's fucked up.
01:26:24.000 Remember, he wrote a song called Proud Western Chauvinist.
01:26:27.000 And they said, wait, are you making fun of Proud Boys or you like Proud Boys?
01:26:31.000 And he said, I'm not going to tell you.
01:26:33.000 That's none of your business.
01:26:34.000 When I write a song, it's my, it's your.
01:26:36.000 And they said, well, okay, well, then fuck you.
01:26:38.000 And then they called all the clubs, and he can't play anymore in Austin.
01:26:42.000 Oh, my God.
01:26:43.000 They want our blood.
01:26:44.000 It's crazy.
01:26:46.000 Tie something.
01:26:47.000 But do you want to hear about the pit bull problems?
01:26:49.000 Yes.
01:26:51.000 Well, there's this obsession out here with pit bulls.
01:26:55.000 I think it's mainly from all the strays, from all the dogfighting, because we're so close to Mexico.
01:26:59.000 So there's just like all these pit bulls.
01:27:01.000 And there's all these 100-pound hipster girls walking around with these 80-pound pit bulls.
01:27:07.000 And they get returned to the shelters constantly for being violent.
01:27:11.000 And back in November, this pit bulls got returned for the second time to this shelter and attacked this woman in a little like a holding cell room, mauled her for five minutes straight, severed an artery under her artery.
01:27:23.000 It had her under the armpit, severed the artery.
01:27:26.000 Another woman came in from the office area, tried to help her, didn't do shit.
01:27:31.000 Finally, my buddy, who's a dog catcher, came in.
01:27:34.000 They got a syringe of the shit they put them down with, stuck him in its neck.
01:27:38.000 They had to pry its jaws off of her after it died.
01:27:42.000 They took her to the hospital.
01:27:43.000 She almost died.
01:27:44.000 There's one news story about it.
01:27:46.000 All they say is there was a dog attack.
01:27:50.000 The woman's fine.
01:27:51.000 That's all they said.
01:27:53.000 My buddy said the whole room's covered in blood.
01:27:55.000 It's a no-kill shelter.
01:27:57.000 So Austin fucking audited the shelter because they killed a dog without their approval.
01:28:03.000 And the woman who risked her own life to try to save this woman's life got fired because she entered a restricted area.
01:28:10.000 Oh my.
01:28:11.000 And gave them a bad name.
01:28:13.000 That's really what it's about, too.
01:28:14.000 Have you noticed this?
01:28:15.000 People throwing each other under the bus more than before.
01:28:18.000 The whole idea of handshakes is over.
01:28:20.000 So the second, that woman could have been a workaholic, but the second she risks the reputation of the place, shoom, they fucking dump her.
01:28:27.000 Yeah, we have the same problem in New York.
01:28:29.000 These girls, they think they're down and they get a pit bull because we have dog fights too, but it's black people in East New York.
01:28:36.000 And they get these pit bulls and they pretend that they're fine.
01:28:39.000 Lesbians really like them too for some reason.
01:28:41.000 Punk rockers love them.
01:28:45.000 They always have the same excuse too.
01:28:46.000 And you say, well, you know, they have a tendency to turn.
01:28:48.000 They always say, my pit bull loves me.
01:28:51.000 It's very defensive.
01:28:52.000 Like, yeah, that's the fucking problem.
01:28:54.000 We've had grandparents approach their kids too quickly to pick them up and the new dog fucking mauls them.
01:29:00.000 Or somebody comes up behind their girlfriend and grabs them and the dog fucking mauls them.
01:29:03.000 Like, yeah, that's the problem.
01:29:05.000 They fall in love with their owners and then they want to kill for them.
01:29:08.000 And these people become these dogmatic pit bull Nazis.
01:29:13.000 Like I have this friend, Tony Barbieri.
01:29:15.000 He was in the band The Buzzcocks.
01:29:17.000 Great pal, old punk rocker.
01:29:19.000 We had a lot in common.
01:29:21.000 I moved to the burbs and I go, you should come visit us, man.
01:29:24.000 And then his girlfriend and him, they're vegetarians.
01:29:28.000 They rescue pits.
01:29:30.000 And they never know where they're coming from.
01:29:32.000 It's not like they say, this pit bull was from a dogfight.
01:29:35.000 They just go, we don't know much about him.
01:29:37.000 We just know he's an angel because they don't want him to not get adopted.
01:29:40.000 And so I called Tony back and I said, I hope this goes without saying, but you can't bring any pits to our house, right?
01:29:49.000 My son, at the time, he was five.
01:29:51.000 So he's like exactly pit bull height.
01:29:53.000 And I have a little stupid girl dog that the pit bull would just eat as like a bonbon.
01:29:58.000 So that's not happening.
01:30:00.000 He was so furious that we haven't spoken since.
01:30:08.000 Isn't that nuts?
01:30:09.000 Ridiculous.
01:30:11.000 Well, just stay the fuck away from them is my only advice.
01:30:14.000 Thanks for calling.
01:30:15.000 Yeah, I carry a knife.
01:30:18.000 Land sharks, they call them.
01:30:19.000 Christopher.
01:30:20.000 Christopher.
01:30:21.000 Hey, Christopher.
01:30:22.000 Hey, Christopher.
01:30:23.000 You talking about these trades?
01:30:24.000 Sergioish.
01:30:24.000 Well, you're making a fucking mafia movie.
01:30:28.000 How you guys doing tonight?
01:30:30.000 I'm looking for a little bit of advice.
01:30:32.000 I want to know if you had any idea when Coke becomes too much.
01:30:38.000 I've been doing just a few girthy lines when I get off work with my first couple of drinks of the evening and go on to cook dinner for cook dinner and do my other chores and shit for the evening.
01:30:52.000 I've been taking these functional skiing trips nightly for about three weeks.
01:30:57.000 I'm only asking because last night I was going about my evening watching the show, got to the point of the cock inversion, and actually puked on my desk.
01:31:10.000 And is this bad for me because my nose doesn't look like Artie Lang's yet?
01:31:19.000 Like, was it the Coke or was it because you put out that insane visual of the training surgery?
01:31:26.000 And you're welcome.
01:31:27.000 I actually spoke to a guy who I didn't speak up.
01:31:29.000 We got a letter that I'll read later on or on another show where a guy fainted watching it.
01:31:36.000 Well, they say at AA, you're an alcoholic if it affects your life detrimentally.
01:31:41.000 When you say you cook, are you cooking for a family, like a wife and kids?
01:31:47.000 Just a girlfriend.
01:31:49.000 I do it every night, though.
01:31:50.000 How old are you?
01:31:52.000 I'm 26.
01:31:53.000 And you say you go on ski trips?
01:31:56.000 No, that's what he calls doing coke ski.
01:31:57.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
01:31:59.000 Because that sounds really cool.
01:32:00.000 I thought you lived in Aspen or something.
01:32:02.000 And after you make dinner, you have a season pass.
01:32:04.000 You'll go do some bumps and just fucking hit the slope.
01:32:07.000 See, that sounds awesome.
01:32:08.000 Yeah, that does sound cool.
01:32:10.000 That sounds a lot better than what I said.
01:32:12.000 I've never done Coke skiing, come to think of it.
01:32:14.000 That would be fun.
01:32:16.000 You should.
01:32:18.000 So how much are you doing?
01:32:19.000 You're doing like a line a day?
01:32:23.000 I'm doing about three or four good lines a day.
01:32:27.000 Were you doing one or two before, and now you have to do more to get that same buzz?
01:32:32.000 No, I've been staying with the same amount for like the last three weeks.
01:32:39.000 Since I got my last bunch of.
01:32:41.000 Can you see the screen right now?
01:32:45.000 Yeah, it's on about a 45-second delay, though.
01:32:48.000 Oh, okay.
01:32:49.000 Well, in 45 seconds, you're going to see a big line that I think would be a bit much.
01:32:54.000 Look, it's really hard to say.
01:32:56.000 It's not affecting you detrimentally.
01:32:58.000 You can afford it, right?
01:33:01.000 Yeah, money's not the issue.
01:33:03.000 I lived in Costa Rica for a while.
01:33:05.000 I mean, I had a house there, and we'd be there for months at a time.
01:33:08.000 And people, you know, like foremen and construction sites, they'll just have a bump at lunch.
01:33:13.000 And in Colombia, you have secretaries that just, you'll have like half a gram in your person.
01:33:19.000 It's not even illegal.
01:33:20.000 It's just done.
01:33:20.000 It's sort of like it was in America in the 20s where people would do it all the time.
01:33:25.000 I've never seen anyone OD on it besides that ugly black guy from the movie Kids, Harold.
01:33:32.000 I'm going to interrupt you here.
01:33:33.000 The line that you showed, I would probably do about two of those for my night.
01:33:40.000 I mean, it's going to sound weird to our viewers because that's a lot of Coke for like a middle-class white person.
01:33:46.000 But like in the Lower East Side, Puerto Ricans, Ryan, you're a Puerto Rican.
01:33:52.000 In the Bronx.
01:33:53.000 That's a lot of Coke.
01:33:54.000 I would never do.
01:33:55.000 I'd probably do that in the night if it was that occasion.
01:33:58.000 And that would be a crazy party night, right?
01:34:00.000 I have an opinion on this.
01:34:00.000 Yeah.
01:34:02.000 Okay.
01:34:03.000 And Ryan knows Coke.
01:34:05.000 Not only Coke, but like when I was doing Vicodin or whatever, you never want to do something at home.
01:34:11.000 And especially the reason why is because you don't want to heighten your area of comfort or whatever to a level that, you know, like, oh, I remember being high here and now I'm not high here.
01:34:21.000 It feels like I'm missing something.
01:34:22.000 Leave the habits of getting high or doing drugs out of your house because then otherwise it's a part of your normal life.
01:34:29.000 Three weeks, that's not.
01:34:30.000 You've done Coke in your house a million times.
01:34:33.000 In my house?
01:34:34.000 Yeah.
01:34:34.000 Maybe, but I don't have a problem with Coke.
01:34:36.000 I like downers.
01:34:37.000 But you just said, make sure you never do Coke in your house.
01:34:40.000 No, don't do anything you like.
01:34:42.000 Don't get into a habit of taking your personal laid-back place and then making it like, I remember what it's like to get high here.
01:34:49.000 I'm missing something.
01:34:50.000 That's my little thing.
01:34:51.000 Another thing, three weeks, and then go ahead.
01:34:55.000 I measured out one of those lines that I've done.
01:34:59.000 I guess maybe the video that I'm seeing is it looks a little bit bigger.
01:35:03.000 The lines I'm doing is probably about a quarter of a gram.
01:35:07.000 Take a picture with your hand.
01:35:09.000 Let's just end this.
01:35:10.000 Okay, let me end it.
01:35:10.000 The equivalent of like a couple bumps a day is probably fine.
01:35:14.000 It sounds like you're doing more than that.
01:35:15.000 You should probably take it down to two or three bumps a day.
01:35:17.000 And you know what a bump is, right?
01:35:19.000 But doing Coke every day, I mean, that's a different culture.
01:35:23.000 We're having to go to Central America to find people like you.
01:35:25.000 I would recommend quitting for five days and seeing if there's any withdrawal symptoms.
01:35:34.000 And that's the great thing about Lent.
01:35:35.000 I'm quitting whiskey for 40 days.
01:35:37.000 And I've noticed like the first three days, all I thought about was whiskey.
01:35:40.000 And now I'm sort of in a good place.
01:35:43.000 So I know I'm not addicted to it.
01:35:45.000 I think you should try the same thing.
01:35:46.000 When in doubt, quit for five to ten days.
01:35:52.000 Last time I quit was probably about three months ago, and I didn't buy any Coke for another three months since I got my last pickup.
01:36:02.000 So last time I did that, it wasn't much of an issue.
01:36:07.000 I quit drinking for about three weeks, too, and I lost about 40 pounds.
01:36:11.000 So it was pretty simple to do it.
01:36:13.000 Yeah, look.
01:36:14.000 You're welcome, guys.
01:36:15.000 Thanks for the call.
01:36:16.000 Cheers.
01:36:17.000 Like you're more than a friend.
01:36:18.000 You know, I'm no expert on this kind of shit, and I don't want to be culpable if he dies, but that doesn't sound like it's an issue.
01:36:24.000 But a line too much once a day to a 26-year-old.
01:36:28.000 But if you're doing Coke to do nothing, go social media.
01:36:31.000 Jim Norton had to quit drinking because he was so in over his head.
01:36:34.000 And you go, oh, shit, that must have been bad.
01:36:35.000 How old was he?
01:36:36.000 17.
01:36:38.000 You're supposed to be a fuck up at 17.
01:36:40.000 But to do Coke and do chores around the house and cook instead of, if you talk to a buddy or something, go to a bar, get out of your damn house.
01:36:47.000 Well, then now it's affecting his life detrimentally.
01:36:50.000 We got Jim.
01:36:52.000 Jim Fadden.
01:36:54.000 Boys, good callers tonight, man.
01:36:57.000 And good call on getting the Tommy video up there.
01:37:00.000 I put it up and it's at $400,000 or something for the last couple of days.
01:37:03.000 And you can't even find his channel on YouTube.
01:37:06.000 So he can't make any money off it, obviously.
01:37:08.000 You can't monetize anything like that, but at least people are seeing it.
01:37:10.000 So I'm the seven-day fiancé, guys.
01:37:13.000 Wait, wait, wait.
01:37:15.000 And Claudia.
01:37:16.000 What are you talking about?
01:37:17.000 What Tommy video?
01:37:18.000 The Tommy Robinson and pedophile?
01:37:20.000 Yeah, I retweeted it.
01:37:22.000 You said, yeah, you said, you know, promote.
01:37:26.000 So I did.
01:37:27.000 I put it up.
01:37:28.000 You can't even see a play Count on Tommy's channel.
01:37:31.000 Like, it's so restricted, you can't find it almost.
01:37:34.000 So, I put it up on mine and it blew up.
01:37:36.000 Like I said, you can't monetize it, but at least it's getting out there because otherwise, how do you get it out?
01:37:41.000 And that's kind of why I called today.
01:37:42.000 But Claudia will be calling you next week.
01:37:46.000 You already read one of her emails under her real name.
01:37:48.000 I think you referred to her as French Stephanie, maybe, I think.
01:37:52.000 She said she slid off her stool when you read her email.
01:37:57.000 And you see why I love her so much.
01:37:58.000 But Ryan, despite the fact you don't have a dad, man, I love your impressions, man.
01:38:04.000 They are a killer.
01:38:06.000 I saw you doing Gavin the other day, which I thought was impossible.
01:38:10.000 You guys were doing rips on the set, and it was genius.
01:38:12.000 I love the Asian shoe salesman.
01:38:14.000 But, brother, I wanted to ask you, what's happening with the big accounts and the censorship?
01:38:20.000 I mean, I know you have limited success with corporate accounts, and now do you see them getting down?
01:38:25.000 Is there a way around it?
01:38:26.000 Do you see legislation or lawsuits or something that guarantees access for free speech?
01:38:31.000 Like, I'm a small channel.
01:38:33.000 I'm two strikes in.
01:38:34.000 I got 800 videos up there.
01:38:36.000 And like, I could be gone tomorrow, right?
01:38:39.000 And I just wonder if it's multiple channels or maybe you got some advice, one, on the big accounts, and two, for the smaller guys that, you know, are barely staying alive by, you know, the videos they're choosing to put up.
01:38:51.000 And I'm looking for someone to back up my channel.
01:38:54.000 I can't believe there's not a service for this.
01:38:56.000 There is.
01:38:57.000 Like you think, is there?
01:38:59.000 I Googled it.
01:39:00.000 I couldn't find much on it, man.
01:39:02.000 I don't know.
01:39:02.000 Google backed up.
01:39:03.000 Yeah, there's two things you can do.
01:39:06.000 One, you can download all your videos from YouTube onto a hard drive and make sure those are safe.
01:39:11.000 But you can also upload them to, is it BitChute?
01:39:15.000 Yeah, BitChute works.
01:39:16.000 There's a couple of other things.
01:39:17.000 That's what I did.
01:39:18.000 They just mirror your channel and they take all the videos and they put it up on there and they'll never censor you ever.
01:39:23.000 It's obviously much less viewership.
01:39:27.000 Do you know if the tags and the comments and descriptions and everything go with it or is it just the raw data?
01:39:32.000 I believe the descriptions do come with it.
01:39:34.000 I don't think the comments do.
01:39:36.000 But basically, you can't put all your eggs in the YouTube basket anymore.
01:39:40.000 You need a plan B. It's not a safe place to stay.
01:39:44.000 I never really felt safe there.
01:39:45.000 I can't believe I'm still on.
01:39:46.000 But with Twitter and someone else's social media, especially if you're a mega guy, you have to be prepared for it all to be flushed down the toilet, which is why we built this pirate ship that we're still fighting to defend.
01:39:58.000 I mean, Virgin in Australia has completely blocked us.
01:40:02.000 So we have subscribers in Australia who will go to censor.tv when they're at the gym or at a pub, and it works fine, right?
01:40:11.000 And they log into their account.
01:40:13.000 When they go to their own home and they log in, they cannot watch what they have subscribed to.
01:40:20.000 And I think it has to do with Australia cracking down on anything right-wing because of the New Zealand shooter.
01:40:25.000 So we're lumped in with that shit.
01:40:26.000 But, you know, I don't have great advice for you outside of BitChute and downloading all your videos, but you have to be prepared to lose everything in this day and age.
01:40:36.000 Can't trust them.
01:40:37.000 How do they like the Owens and whatnot that have gone, you know, the Alex Joneses and whatnot that are gone?
01:40:37.000 How about the big guys?
01:40:43.000 And you ever think they get back?
01:40:45.000 Or is there another, is there a loophole, a way around it?
01:40:48.000 What do you change your name?
01:40:49.000 Does that help?
01:40:50.000 You know, like, I don't know.
01:40:51.000 They'll never get back.
01:40:52.000 I mean, Alex started banned.video.
01:40:55.000 I started censor.tv.
01:40:57.000 I think Crowder is impermeable because he has threatened them legally and spent a lot of money on lawyers.
01:41:04.000 So someone at the top brass of YouTube has said, careful with Crowder.
01:41:08.000 It's a real headache if we want to shut him down.
01:41:10.000 But anyway, that's our advice.
01:41:11.000 Thanks for calling.
01:41:12.000 I like you more than a friend, and don't put all your eggs in that one basket.
01:41:17.000 And he's talking about Claudia.
01:41:20.000 I don't know.
01:41:21.000 That's what the internet is.
01:41:22.000 I don't remember her email.
01:41:23.000 Which one was it?
01:41:24.000 I don't remember that, but I do remember you telling him that it's a 40 40.
01:41:30.000 What was that wife show?
01:41:32.000 It's a fake wife show, whatever.
01:41:34.000 What the fuck are you doing?
01:41:35.000 I'm on to this thought here.
01:41:37.000 There was a viewer who DM'd me, frankly, and I'm a little tipsy.
01:41:44.000 Wow, you're like a chick when you get drunk.
01:41:44.000 But this is important.
01:41:47.000 Do you notice I can still drive a boat?
01:41:51.000 Yacht?
01:41:51.000 So basically, the guy went into his account settings for his either browser or Wi-Fi or whatever for the Virgin thing, the thing that he was...
01:42:04.000 But he goes into his account, and then you got to tick off virus, like safe virus.
01:42:10.000 You turn that off.
01:42:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:42:12.000 Because we're under the site that will...
01:42:15.000 Australians, if you're watching this, you turn off the virus blocker on your provider, and it allows censored.tv.
01:42:22.000 And they've basically told their software that we are a virus.
01:42:29.000 All right, next call.
01:42:30.000 We got Wayne.
01:42:33.000 Censorship.
01:42:34.000 Mikey!
01:42:38.000 So, Gavin, would you rather blow your dad three times and you have to swallow?
01:42:45.000 Or would you rather drink 62 gallons of his urine for the duration of the rest of your life?
01:42:53.000 The latter.
01:42:55.000 You know, can I give you some advice, sir?
01:42:56.000 When you're doing Would You Rathers, don't pull parents into it because then you lose your relationship with your father or your daughter or your wife or your mother, and that has no monetary value.
01:43:09.000 So it kind of ruins the game.
01:43:11.000 I would avoid that.
01:43:13.000 Talk about me drinking Ryan's cum or something.
01:43:15.000 That's more plausible.
01:43:17.000 In which case that would be the chosen opportunity.
01:43:19.000 So Ryan.
01:43:22.000 So it's Ryan.
01:43:24.000 Okay, so Ryan, suck him off.
01:43:28.000 I'll do the piss.
01:43:31.000 And you have to keep the jugs in your living room, and you have to justify it in your own way.
01:43:36.000 And anytime you try to dispose of them, another one just shows up with Amazon delivers another one.
01:43:43.000 Yeah, because sucking them off is going to ruin my sex life forever.
01:43:47.000 Right, because you're going to be like, and I'm going to think about every time I have sex.
01:43:50.000 But the piss, it just might ruin lemonade.
01:43:52.000 Once you go chink, you're on the brink.
01:43:56.000 Wow.
01:43:57.000 Can Ryan ever not handle his booze?
01:43:59.000 We've had, by the way, what, two beers tonight?
01:44:01.000 Yes.
01:44:03.000 Mikey!
01:44:04.000 Go home?
01:44:06.000 You want me to go home?
01:44:07.000 Yes?
01:44:10.000 Oh, go home to mommy.
01:44:11.000 That's what she's going to say.
01:44:13.000 By the way, when he's saying that, Mikey, I was talking to Anthony Coome the other day because I found out he liked Uncut Gems.
01:44:20.000 And I was like, how could you like it?
01:44:22.000 That character has nothing to him.
01:44:24.000 I didn't even care when he died.
01:44:26.000 It's a good movie.
01:44:27.000 They dominated.
01:44:30.000 If you can't sympathize with the protagonist, you can't enjoy the film.
01:44:34.000 And he goes, I don't know.
01:44:37.000 I just enjoyed it.
01:44:37.000 I thought it was really stressful and I was on the edge of my seat.
01:44:40.000 And I was imagining if I was there.
01:44:42.000 I'm like, but you wouldn't cheat on your wife and be a shitty dad and blow all your money gambling.
01:44:47.000 There's no relatability there.
01:44:49.000 He's like, I can't remember what his exact quote was, but he's like, I'm going to have to go with no or I can't defer to that or something like that.
01:44:59.000 And then I just texted, we'll make you say yes.
01:45:04.000 And I realized he didn't know who Mikey was.
01:45:06.000 So I was talking like her our whole debate without the context of the inside joke.
01:45:13.000 Mikey!
01:45:14.000 Sweating my balls off, she said.
01:45:16.000 Mikey.
01:45:17.000 Mike.
01:45:18.000 Mikey.
01:45:19.000 I just, my favorite part of that is won't make him say yes.
01:45:23.000 Because I've been there so many times when I go, immigration is a problem.
01:45:28.000 We need to at least restrict the borders.
01:45:30.000 No, we don't.
01:45:31.000 Yes, just say yes.
01:45:33.000 Like when your friends don't like what you like, it's so frustrating.
01:45:36.000 We can't restrict the borders.
01:45:39.000 We agree on everything but uncut gems.
01:45:42.000 Change your mind about uncut gems, Anthony.
01:45:46.000 We got to do that video.
01:45:50.000 I love fighting with Larry.
01:45:51.000 I've heard nothing but great gentlemen.
01:45:56.000 Yes.
01:45:57.000 How are you?
01:45:58.000 That Canadian guy who calls in all the time, it's enough.
01:46:02.000 Like, hey, what do you guys?
01:46:04.000 But that's not the here out of there.
01:46:05.000 Anyway, I love fighting with Larry.
01:46:08.000 I learn stuff when I watch it, and it's almost as good as you guys.
01:46:13.000 Thank you so much for that.
01:46:15.000 I really, really enjoy it.
01:46:17.000 He'll be happy to hear that.
01:46:17.000 That's great.
01:46:18.000 Today he said to me, he goes, what the fuck are you looking at?
01:46:23.000 And I said, you fuck with me, Larry.
01:46:24.000 I will punch you so hard, I'll knock the fucking black out of you, you'll look like an albino.
01:46:29.000 And he's like, I should suit up right now and knock you the fuck out.
01:46:36.000 It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen.
01:46:38.000 And again, it's one of those things where I learn something every week.
01:46:42.000 And thank you so much, Alma.
01:46:43.000 Cheers, buddy.
01:46:44.000 Thanks for calling.
01:46:45.000 Yeah, the thing about Larry is he seems like a silly old man who's punch-drunk with pugilistic dementia.
01:46:45.000 Cool.
01:46:51.000 And he says things, are you not entertained?
01:46:53.000 And then he does the whole thing from Spartacus.
01:46:55.000 And he's like, you a cupcake.
01:46:56.000 I thought you knew Matthew.
01:46:57.000 You a dope.
01:46:58.000 You're the mayor of Cupcakeville.
01:47:00.000 And he picks fights with me every day at the gym.
01:47:03.000 And we say things like, I go today, I said, I got a good one in too.
01:47:07.000 He goes, why don't I just shoot up right now and get in there with in the ring with you?
01:47:11.000 I go, motherfucker, I've been watching you on YouTube.
01:47:13.000 I know all your moves.
01:47:14.000 Every time you come up and do that shit, I'll bash you back down and be like a game of fucking whack-a-mole.
01:47:19.000 Every time you get up, wham.
01:47:21.000 And he laughed his head off.
01:47:23.000 He loved this intro.
01:47:24.000 So sorry, while talking about how wonderful I am in this story, I forgot the point.
01:47:29.000 The point is that he sees it like this silly old man, and then he starts dropping science about boxing, and you realize, this guy is fucking intelligent.
01:47:37.000 This guy knows his shit.
01:47:39.000 He's not a silly old man.
01:47:41.000 No.
01:47:42.000 Guys, good.
01:47:44.000 And like when he was talking about that trainer that Deontay Wilder had, who he hired at the last second, and I go, who is this guy?
01:47:51.000 That's some fucking loser random trainer that Deontay Wilder hired at the last second?
01:47:56.000 He's like, no, he's no amateur.
01:47:58.000 He was the Golden Gloves in 1992 when he was a welterweight champion.
01:48:03.000 Does the trainer's entire resume?
01:48:05.000 That's all up in there.
01:48:10.000 We got.
01:48:10.000 Let's see.
01:48:12.000 Mikey, 74, a dime.
01:48:17.000 We got 10 minutes left.
01:48:18.000 You're on, Michael.
01:48:19.000 Mikey, Michelob.
01:48:22.000 It said a dime, a 70 for a dime is a deal, man.
01:48:26.000 Oh, oh.
01:48:27.000 Now, what was she buying?
01:48:31.000 Ah, 70 for a dime.
01:48:33.000 It had to be cocaine.
01:48:34.000 The dime is not much.
01:48:37.000 What's up, guys?
01:48:38.000 Hey, how you doing?
01:48:39.000 She's offering him $70 for $100 to cook.
01:48:39.000 But wait a minute.
01:48:44.000 That's not a good deal.
01:48:44.000 Fuck you, bitch.
01:48:45.000 I feel like a dime means like a little tiny percentage of the bottom of a bag.
01:48:52.000 I don't know.
01:48:53.000 I don't know what $70 for a dime means, but that was my voice message.
01:48:57.000 Okay.
01:48:58.000 What's up?
01:48:59.000 Anywho, longtime listener, fourth-time caller.
01:49:04.000 This is the fourth time I've actually called and the fourth time I've gotten through.
01:49:04.000 Cool.
01:49:08.000 So cheers, mates.
01:49:10.000 Yeah, we get the reference.
01:49:11.000 You're one of the Otis Simbos.
01:49:14.000 Now, you know, this is one of the Otis Symboss.
01:49:16.000 I remember that.
01:49:17.000 Yeah, we talked about Scary Perry and Donald.
01:49:20.000 Dr. Scott told me about the black tip shark on vacation.
01:49:24.000 Anyway, the C-PAC episode was amazing.
01:49:30.000 Sex change.
01:49:30.000 Oh, no, before you get to that, can you guys tell me the Venmo or the address for the dude that's going to double any match on the Proud Boys?
01:49:42.000 Justice for Liberty.
01:49:45.000 JusticeForliberty.com.
01:49:49.000 Huh.
01:49:50.000 I already got that.
01:49:51.000 Yeah, so starting last night, up until $1,500, he's doubling every contribution.
01:50:00.000 What's that sound?
01:50:01.000 Yeah.
01:50:03.000 Wait, did we just hear someone in the background say, put me down, put me down?
01:50:08.000 Are you hanging around with midgets?
01:50:12.000 Or that was in our hallway, I think.
01:50:15.000 Maybe.
01:50:16.000 Okay, sorry, go ahead.
01:50:17.000 What's your question?
01:50:20.000 Yeah, well, that.
01:50:21.000 Thank you, Justice for Liberty.
01:50:23.000 C-PAC was awesome.
01:50:24.000 This exchange, I had to start skipping through it, man.
01:50:27.000 The bit, you killed it.
01:50:28.000 It was the great bit.
01:50:30.000 It was an overload of information I didn't need to hear or see.
01:50:36.000 How about the loop?
01:50:39.000 How about the part towards the end where you have those like four threads that come up and then just loop the whole thing through?
01:50:48.000 It was so brutal.
01:50:50.000 Like with the visual.
01:50:51.000 I held my penis the entire time.
01:50:53.000 Like, hey, this is totally normal.
01:50:56.000 Who came up with that?
01:50:57.000 Not a big deal.
01:50:58.000 What was the...
01:51:02.000 What about this?
01:51:03.000 It's all error.
01:51:04.000 What about we cut the edge of the ballad off?
01:51:06.000 It was free jazz.
01:51:08.000 Stick it through a hole.
01:51:09.000 Yeah, it was free jazz.
01:51:10.000 It was a flute solo.
01:51:11.000 It was sculpture.
01:51:14.000 Dude, to be honest with you, when we were doing that, I couldn't watch the video, so I was just skipping ahead, and I had to wait for Gavin to say stop because I was not watching it.
01:51:22.000 Usually I could watch it.
01:51:24.000 He's like, what are you doing?
01:51:25.000 You're skipping past it.
01:51:26.000 Stop.
01:51:26.000 And I was like, okay, I didn't.
01:51:28.000 I didn't watch after the cutting of the shaft part, I did not watch a second of it.
01:51:35.000 And I kept squeezing my actual my penis to feel penis.
01:51:39.000 Okay, tell us more about your penis.
01:51:41.000 Anyway, instead of thinking about penis, we've heard so much about your penis and butthole and nipples, I think, too.
01:51:47.000 So let me talk about my penis and nipples.
01:51:50.000 Butthole.
01:51:51.000 I didn't really.
01:51:52.000 So I always ask something that's not political, and I have this written down because I have a terrible brain.
01:52:01.000 The Million in the Morning, Gavin.
01:52:04.000 Yeah.
01:52:05.000 This is like Netflix era.
01:52:07.000 They're like not a startup, but they're not fucking Netflix 2020.
01:52:12.000 Correct.
01:52:13.000 What did you do?
01:52:15.000 So you delivered that.
01:52:17.000 I found it in its entirety.
01:52:19.000 I watched it.
01:52:20.000 I thought it was hilarious.
01:52:23.000 You guys had to be talk about cocaine.
01:52:25.000 Talk about 70 for a dime.
01:52:27.000 You guys had to be staying up.
01:52:30.000 Multiple days straight.
01:52:32.000 What did they?
01:52:33.000 They just were like, nah, no thanks?
01:52:35.000 Yeah.
01:52:36.000 I think they thought it was shit faced, and they thought it was bad for the brand.
01:52:41.000 And I did have a few drinks, but I also did a lot of drugs.
01:52:43.000 I had to stay up for 123 hours.
01:52:47.000 So they saw this guy like going insane with a Netflix logo in his face.
01:52:53.000 And they thought, this is probably not good for the brand.
01:52:57.000 You talked to Susan Zarandin?
01:53:00.000 I saw?
01:53:01.000 Or you like tried to?
01:53:03.000 She wasn't interested.
01:53:04.000 She's kind of cool, actually.
01:53:06.000 No, we spoke to her for a bit.
01:53:07.000 She's really into this charity in New York that takes the excess food from restaurants and gives it to bums.
01:53:14.000 It's one of the few charities that seems legit.
01:53:16.000 I don't know.
01:53:17.000 I like her.
01:53:17.000 She's great.
01:53:22.000 She's huge tits.
01:53:23.000 Want to fuck you with my heels on.
01:53:25.000 You guys take it easy.
01:53:26.000 All right, buddy.
01:53:27.000 Thanks for calling.
01:53:27.000 Whoops.
01:53:28.000 Always, at least once a show.
01:53:31.000 154.
01:53:34.000 All right.
01:53:35.000 We got six minutes to go there, Butterfingers.
01:53:39.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on.
01:53:41.000 Yeah.
01:53:43.000 Don't you wish the whole thing.
01:53:44.000 It's a great song.
01:53:46.000 China.
01:53:46.000 Talking about China.
01:53:47.000 Tell me about China.
01:53:52.000 Hello.
01:53:53.000 Hey, hey.
01:53:54.000 How you doing?
01:53:56.000 Good.
01:53:56.000 How are you?
01:53:58.000 I'm alright.
01:53:59.000 I'm calling from Australia.
01:54:00.000 I heard, Gavin, that you lived in China for a couple of years.
01:54:03.000 Is that right?
01:54:04.000 Yeah, I lived in Taiwan.
01:54:07.000 Oh, okay.
01:54:08.000 I lived on the mainland.
01:54:10.000 I did.
01:54:11.000 I've spent time in Beijing.
01:54:12.000 I think it's probably the worst China gets.
01:54:16.000 I also spent some time in Shanghai, which is also really, really, really bad.
01:54:24.000 I just thought, like, living there, you realize what a fucking weird place it is and how weird mainland Chinese people are.
01:54:32.000 They're so strange.
01:54:34.000 Dude, dude, dude, don't separate Taiwan from mainland China.
01:54:37.000 Just because one is capitalist, one is communist, they have the exact same culture, the exact same weird idiosyncrasies.
01:54:44.000 I mean, one of them has more food and clothing when they need it and more freedom, but they don't do anything with it.
01:54:50.000 They don't appreciate the extra freedom.
01:54:52.000 They live exactly the same lifestyle.
01:54:55.000 And, you know, when you first move down there, you go, hey, we're all the same at the end of the day.
01:54:59.000 And then after, you know, four months, you go, wait a minute.
01:55:02.000 We are intrinsically different to our cores.
01:55:06.000 Hello, you've got an ace.
01:55:07.000 Okay, my thing is that, like, my wife is Vietnamese.
01:55:10.000 The Vietnamese think the Chinese are strange.
01:55:12.000 All of China's neighbors think the Chinese are strange.
01:55:15.000 They are just weird people.
01:55:17.000 They do weird things.
01:55:18.000 They have weird habits.
01:55:20.000 Like, they're just weird.
01:55:22.000 They're not human.
01:55:23.000 They're always crapping on about how civilized they are.
01:55:26.000 And they're very not civilized in a mob, you know, like they're, you know, they're always spitting everywhere and they're always like throwing their food shit everywhere and smoking everywhere.
01:55:40.000 If they're so civilized, why is the bathroom four holes in the floor with shit piled all around the hole and guys squatting down there smoking a cigarette talking to you in Cantonese?
01:55:53.000 Their toilet habits are some of the most fucking bizarre things I've ever seen.
01:55:57.000 I remember I worked at a school in Beijing and we had like students from all over the country.
01:56:02.000 They're like 19, 20 year olds going to study in the US and Australia or whatever.
01:56:06.000 And like you'd walk into the bathroom and they have stalls, like we have stalls, but there are no doors on the stall.
01:56:13.000 Right.
01:56:13.000 And there are squats and like one male student, he's a 20-year-old, will be squatting down having a shit.
01:56:20.000 And his friend will be leaning against the stall, talking to him, looking him in the eye while this guy's dropping a turtle.
01:56:28.000 You can't wait.
01:56:30.000 You can't wait six minutes.
01:56:35.000 Oh, it's fucking disgusting.
01:56:37.000 Hey, speaking of Australia, that's enough toilets, Ryan.
01:56:40.000 Speaking of Australia, are you having trouble getting our show?
01:56:45.000 I'm not.
01:56:47.000 I would love to call it in and talk about Australia because it is a strange.
01:56:51.000 We're also a strange, a sad country, a misunderstood country.
01:56:54.000 I don't want to talk about Australia.
01:56:55.000 I want to talk about your reception with censored.tv.
01:56:58.000 I understand it's been censored.
01:56:59.000 Virgin is Not a major carrier here.
01:57:02.000 I don't have any problems logging on.
01:57:05.000 But yeah, we are pretty pussified, so it wouldn't surprise me if one day it just stopped working.
01:57:10.000 Well, I am banned from that country.
01:57:13.000 Yeah, I know.
01:57:14.000 That is embarrassing.
01:57:15.000 It's just embarrassing.
01:57:16.000 Some of the shit that's going on here.
01:57:18.000 We like to think we're like renegade and Larikans, but actually we're a bunch of cucks.
01:57:23.000 Well, you were.
01:57:25.000 It's a process.
01:57:26.000 You used to be the last bastion of masculinity, but you're quickly losing it.
01:57:30.000 Okay, we're running out of time here.
01:57:32.000 We're down to the last couple calls.
01:57:33.000 Thank you for calling.
01:57:34.000 This is going to be the last call.
01:57:36.000 Okay.
01:57:37.000 Hey, Martinez.
01:57:41.000 What's up, dude?
01:57:44.000 Hello.
01:57:46.000 Martinez.
01:57:49.000 You're going to be upset later when you see that we gave you a chance and then we have to drop you.
01:57:54.000 Like a hot potato.
01:57:55.000 Because you're watching the show.
01:57:57.000 He dropped.
01:57:58.000 Okay.
01:57:58.000 We got Brian talking about the Mets, the worst team in baseball.
01:58:01.000 Go ahead.
01:58:03.000 That's exactly what I was going to say.
01:58:05.000 How the fuck are you the fan of the Mets?
01:58:08.000 Because he's so fucking bad.
01:58:09.000 He has heart and character.
01:58:10.000 How are you not a fan of the Mets?
01:58:11.000 Who do you think?
01:58:14.000 Out of all the sports teams you can root for in New York.
01:58:17.000 It's called the Yankees.
01:58:18.000 You root for the Mets.
01:58:19.000 What, do you root for the Yankees?
01:58:21.000 Is Superman also your favorite superhero?
01:58:24.000 Yeah.
01:58:25.000 No, no, no.
01:58:26.000 I'm not even into baseball.
01:58:26.000 I like the Rangers.
01:58:28.000 Oh, okay.
01:58:29.000 Well, if you were into baseball, you would see the innate charm of the Mets.
01:58:36.000 Nah.
01:58:39.000 Have you ever heard of a guy named Jacob deGrom, Cy Young winner, the greatest pitcher alive today?
01:58:49.000 I'm just talking about their legacy.
01:58:53.000 They could be on the rise now, but they've just historically been shitty.
01:58:58.000 What about 1986?
01:59:02.000 Okay, they have two titles.
01:59:04.000 We won the World Series.
01:59:06.000 I want to know why you chose them over, I don't know, any other sport.
01:59:11.000 Like, why baseball?
01:59:13.000 I don't really know.
01:59:14.000 I don't have a good answer for that.
01:59:15.000 I think a couple of my buddies, Curtis Brown, my neighbor, liked them, and we were close friends.
01:59:20.000 We still are.
01:59:22.000 And I don't know, my friends seemed to like them, and my son got into baseball, and that was just the nearest one.
01:59:28.000 It's sort of the same reason I chose Catholicism.
01:59:30.000 I decide that I'm into religion and deism, and that was just the nearest religion, so I picked that.
01:59:37.000 Not only that.
01:59:38.000 You know, growing up in Canada, no hockey?
01:59:41.000 Yeah.
01:59:41.000 Yeah.
01:59:42.000 I don't know why.
01:59:43.000 I was into hockey.
01:59:44.000 When I came to New York, I didn't really jump on board.
01:59:48.000 I can't explain why.
01:59:50.000 I didn't really grow up with sports.
01:59:51.000 Go to the Golden.
01:59:52.000 See a game at the Garden.
01:59:54.000 The Rangers are Canada right now.
01:59:56.000 They just beat the Caps 6-5.
01:59:59.000 Niggas Benjad five goals tonight.
02:00:01.000 What do you think of the Ottawa Senators?
02:00:06.000 They're like third-last right now.
02:00:09.000 They're pretty shit.
02:00:10.000 They traded away all their guys.
02:00:13.000 That's the Canadian way.
02:00:14.000 It's hard being next to America.
02:00:16.000 All right, thanks for calling.
02:00:17.000 I'm sorry for liking the Mets.
02:00:19.000 You know what?
02:00:19.000 I like the Yet.
02:00:21.000 I've been a Yankees fan by default since forever, but there's something cheapening about when they win.
02:00:27.000 You're like, well, we just kind of buy the best team possible.
02:00:30.000 No, that's a myth.
02:00:31.000 Is it a myth?
02:00:32.000 Yeah.
02:00:32.000 Everyone thinks that's the truth.
02:00:34.000 And the Yankees do have money, but they don't spend it.
02:00:37.000 And a lot of their legends last year were rookies, and rookies on the Yankees cannot be paid more than a million a year.
02:00:43.000 Wow.
02:00:43.000 So a lot of these superstars that they have are only making a million a year.
02:00:47.000 Holy shit.
02:00:47.000 So they're not, they didn't just buy their weight.
02:00:49.000 They're just good at baseball.
02:00:51.000 They are good at baseball.
02:00:52.000 What the hell?
02:00:53.000 Anyway, I want to talk about the fucking Yankees.