Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 14, 2020


GOML LIVE #38 - WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 24 minutes

Words per Minute

158.65851

Word Count

22,905

Sentence Count

2,554

Misogynist Sentences

145

Hate Speech Sentences

165


Summary

Kevin talks about the Ebonic plague, Chet Hanks' new tattoo, and the excitement of a big day. Plus, we talk about a new CBD product that's great for sore muscles. Get 20% off your entire order with promo code GAVA20 at checkout.


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
00:00:20.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
00:00:32.000 We're all gonna die.
00:00:35.000 We're all going to die.
00:00:37.000 This is a global pandemic to the tune of the Ebonic Plague.
00:00:44.000 Remember the Ebonic Plague?
00:00:47.000 It happened, it started in the 80s with rap.
00:00:50.000 And now, if you look up like Jake Paul or Billie Eilish or anyone, Bella Thorne, they all say, yo, I ain't trying to flex on that shit.
00:01:06.000 This is worse.
00:01:08.000 Soon, not only will we be speaking that way, but we will be dead.
00:01:12.000 Actually, Chet Hanks is a perfect merger of the Ebonic Plague and Coronavirus.
00:01:18.000 Because he talks in Ebonics when he's talking about his parents.
00:01:23.000 This is a thing, by the way, I noticed with our viewers when they send in video letters, they have their shirts off.
00:01:30.000 Have you noticed that?
00:01:31.000 Yeah, for Gary's mailbag.
00:01:32.000 Absolutely.
00:01:33.000 They think they're sexy or something.
00:01:38.000 And it's actually kind of worse if you are sexy.
00:01:41.000 Because now it's gay.
00:01:43.000 And it's making me horny.
00:01:45.000 What's up, everyone?
00:01:47.000 Yo, what's up?
00:01:47.000 Yeah.
00:01:48.000 My parents got chrome.
00:01:49.000 What's up, Chet?
00:01:50.000 Crazy.
00:01:51.000 They're both down in Australia right now because my dad was shooting a movie down there.
00:01:56.000 Can you just pause this?
00:01:57.000 Don't you love that he's being so real?
00:02:00.000 Yeah, he's keeping it real.
00:02:01.000 He's just so like, yeah, I know my dad's Tom Hanks, but I'm just a regular guy who got all my tattoos in one day.
00:02:12.000 They both are fine.
00:02:13.000 They're not even that sick.
00:02:15.000 They're not worried about it.
00:02:16.000 They're not tripping, but they're going through the necessary.
00:02:18.000 They ain't tripping.
00:02:19.000 Or any of them bugging?
00:02:20.000 But I don't think it's anything to be too.
00:02:22.000 They sick, but I'm ill.
00:02:23.000 Okay.
00:02:25.000 I appreciate everyone's concerns.
00:02:25.000 Worried about it.
00:02:29.000 But I think it's all going to be all right.
00:02:32.000 But I appreciate it.
00:02:34.000 And just everybody stay safe out there.
00:02:37.000 Much love.
00:02:38.000 Much love.
00:02:40.000 Oh, my God.
00:02:42.000 He's worse than you with your fucking you as well.
00:02:46.000 That's not debonics, but.
00:02:47.000 Yeah, you as well.
00:02:49.000 Have a nice day.
00:02:49.000 You as well.
00:02:50.000 Yeah, he says you as well.
00:02:52.000 We got hot dogs the other day on the street.
00:02:54.000 Guy's like, all right, see you later.
00:02:56.000 Have a good day.
00:02:57.000 And Myan goes, you as well.
00:03:01.000 And then I made up a douchier one, which is double that and take half for yourself.
00:03:05.000 No, that was you making a joke after that shitty thing you did.
00:03:08.000 But the shitty thing you did was real.
00:03:10.000 It wasn't a joke.
00:03:11.000 I was keeping it 100.
00:03:12.000 You as well.
00:03:13.000 That's like when people say thank you so much.
00:03:16.000 It's like European.
00:03:17.000 Don't say thank you so much.
00:03:18.000 You sound like a fucking orphan.
00:03:20.000 Speaking of orphans, I cannot recommend enough.
00:03:23.000 Johnnyapple.com.
00:03:27.000 J-A-C-B-D.com.
00:03:31.000 They have the tinctures.
00:03:32.000 They have the topicals.
00:03:33.000 They have the concentrates.
00:03:34.000 They have the edibles.
00:03:35.000 They have the supplements.
00:03:38.000 They have the vape pens.
00:03:39.000 Have you tried the vape pens yet?
00:03:40.000 You're a vapor.
00:03:41.000 I actually haven't tried their vapins.
00:03:43.000 You should try the vapins.
00:03:45.000 I heard.
00:03:46.000 The tincture is great in your coffee.
00:03:47.000 And the edibles, I just gave it to my coach, my boxing coach, to steady the nerves.
00:03:54.000 You know, a fight is a big deal, not just for the boxer, but for everyone involved.
00:03:58.000 They're freaking out.
00:04:00.000 This is the big day.
00:04:02.000 That's the excitement of boxing.
00:04:04.000 It could all just get flushed down the toilet.
00:04:06.000 And it's more badass than gummies, if we're being real.
00:04:09.000 What is sitting there puffing?
00:04:11.000 No, no, no, I gave the coach the gummies.
00:04:13.000 Oh.
00:04:15.000 But yeah, people think that there's something illegal about them.
00:04:18.000 There's no THC.
00:04:20.000 There's no buzz.
00:04:21.000 This is just the good parts of the hemp.
00:04:24.000 And the CBD is great for sore muscles.
00:04:26.000 And you get 20% off all orders plus free shipping if you use the promo code GAVIN.
00:04:33.000 G-A-V-I-N.
00:04:35.000 I pronounce it in French, but it's much more phonetic in English, Gavin.
00:04:40.000 J-A-C-B-D.com, promo code Gavin, treat yourself.
00:04:45.000 Lots of variety, including things for your pets, including cookies.
00:04:51.000 And it just takes the edge off of life.
00:04:53.000 You know, pot has a lot of great qualities, but it gets you too high.
00:04:58.000 This is all the goodness of pot without the getting high part.
00:05:01.000 Totally and utterly legal.
00:05:03.000 All right.
00:05:06.000 Coronavirus.
00:05:10.000 You know, I was at the closing of CBGB's, and they had a bunch of punk bands, including Conflict and Peter and the Test Tube Babies.
00:05:18.000 A bunch of British bands flew in, which was kind of suspicious, isn't it?
00:05:23.000 So you're leaving here because you can't afford the rent anymore, but you flew in Conflict and Peter and the Test Tube Babies and the Business and Blitz and all these British punk bands?
00:05:33.000 Hmm.
00:05:35.000 The real story with CBGB's is that that venue hadn't been making money for probably 20 years, but the shirts were making intense money.
00:05:44.000 So they left Billy Helly, whatever his name was, left the venue open because it helped sell the shirts.
00:05:52.000 It helped legitimize the shirts.
00:05:54.000 But it was all about the shirts that place.
00:05:56.000 And then one day he went, you know what?
00:05:57.000 I'll just sell the rights to the shirts to Jean Vet Veros.
00:06:01.000 And he can just make it a shitty clothing store.
00:06:04.000 And he'll dress Howard Stern and stuff, which is what happened.
00:06:07.000 And Chadwick Moore.
00:06:08.000 Chadwick Moore wears John Vetveros.
00:06:10.000 What is it?
00:06:11.000 Varvedos.
00:06:12.000 Varvedos.
00:06:16.000 And I noticed all those bands.
00:06:18.000 You know, British people see Budweiser as a very exotic beer.
00:06:22.000 But they also see the most, and if you go to like a club in London, people are drinking Budweiser like it's fancy pants.
00:06:29.000 And when the Brits come here, they want to get an even more exotic beer, a beer called Corona.
00:06:36.000 So I saw like GBH and all these punk legends that are now bald that I grew up, you know, listening to, all drinking Corona.
00:06:44.000 They love their little lime, those Brits.
00:06:47.000 So this isn't the first time I've seen the coronavirus.
00:06:51.000 You notice a lot of dad puns on today's episode.
00:06:55.000 But now we had a state of emergency declared in New York.
00:06:59.000 They are shutting down the MLB.
00:07:00.000 They're shutting down basketball.
00:07:02.000 They're shutting down hockey.
00:07:03.000 USA Boxing isn't going to have any fights until the 31st.
00:07:08.000 The schools are all shut down in my neighborhood.
00:07:12.000 Legion of Skanks canceled the Skank Fest that we were talking about.
00:07:14.000 Oh, really?
00:07:15.000 Yeah, they just did today.
00:07:17.000 Yeah.
00:07:18.000 Because I was going to fly down to Dallas.
00:07:19.000 Should I not go?
00:07:22.000 I was going to fly up to see Tommy Robinson, too.
00:07:25.000 There's a travel ban in the UK.
00:07:27.000 No, there's not.
00:07:29.000 Oh, and I'm sorry, everywhere but the UK.
00:07:31.000 Yes.
00:07:33.000 And then they go, what about these people in Europe?
00:07:35.000 Yeah, fuck them.
00:07:37.000 People who are traveling to Europe are not leading important lives.
00:07:41.000 No one is going back and forth from Berlin to New York for work.
00:07:46.000 There's no such thing.
00:07:48.000 So if you're in Europe right now and you're American, you were just fucking around on some dumb trip.
00:07:53.000 So fuck you.
00:07:56.000 But anyway, I want to make it clear that we have a position here on the show, and that is this is all total and utter bullshit, and we could not care less about coronavirus.
00:08:10.000 I didn't take my kids out.
00:08:12.000 I initially took my kids out of school before I knew it was going on.
00:08:16.000 Then I looked into it and I saw, you know, 30 to 70,000 people dying a year from the flu.
00:08:22.000 And, oh, this is more contagious.
00:08:24.000 We don't know if it affects kids.
00:08:25.000 I don't think it affects black people.
00:08:28.000 What do you think of that controversial theory?
00:08:30.000 What?
00:08:32.000 Black people don't think it affects black people.
00:08:34.000 I speak to black people.
00:08:38.000 I have a secret in to the black community called boxing.
00:08:42.000 And they see it as a white disease.
00:08:43.000 That's why they're not changing their habits.
00:08:52.000 All weekend, New Rock Center, packed with blacks and Hispanics.
00:09:01.000 Speaking.
00:09:02.000 I even spoke to this black dude who's like, you know, black people can't get it, kids can't get it, and it's a white disease.
00:09:08.000 But more specifically than that, it's a Jewish disease.
00:09:12.000 He sounded like Chuck D when he said it.
00:09:15.000 He said, look at the lawyer that they found a new Rochelle.
00:09:18.000 Look at the area he's in.
00:09:19.000 What did he pollute?
00:09:19.000 A synagogue.
00:09:21.000 This is a Jew disease.
00:09:23.000 Okay.
00:09:29.000 As long as it's not, I don't care if it's a you disease, as long as it's not a me disease.
00:09:33.000 But no, we had in Obama's era in 2008, we had the N1H1, which I think was the derivative of the Spanish flu, that killed 284,000 people.
00:09:44.000 We didn't really close schools.
00:09:46.000 There wasn't this kind of hype around it.
00:09:48.000 Now, I'm not talking on behalf of Italy and these other places.
00:09:52.000 I'm talking about America and specifically the Northeast, my hood.
00:09:55.000 And I'm near New Rochelle.
00:09:58.000 Never happened in the States.
00:10:00.000 Wow, you really are getting fast at those.
00:10:03.000 You're the new Fred.
00:10:06.000 I was quite chilly before I put on this cardigan.
00:10:08.000 Now I'm quite warm.
00:10:09.000 My son, who's only my middle boy, he's only uh-oh.
00:10:15.000 Hey, what are you gonna do?
00:10:18.000 Situation doesn't worry about it.
00:10:20.000 He goes, my son goes, that's the stupidest look ever.
00:10:24.000 And I go, what do you mean?
00:10:26.000 And he says, when your t-shirt is sticking out from the bottom of your overthrow, your throw over thing.
00:10:35.000 I go, you mean when your flannel is sticking out of the bottom of your cardigan?
00:10:40.000 I go, dude, you got to get a vocabulary together if you're going to be making fun of your dad.
00:10:43.000 Bird.
00:10:44.000 That was a good camera.
00:10:45.000 This is a t-shirt now?
00:10:48.000 Nice try, kids.
00:10:53.000 So yeah, we'll do some mailbag today.
00:10:55.000 We're going to avoid getting too newsy.
00:10:58.000 I do want to talk about the coronavirus.
00:11:00.000 If you subscribe to censor.tv, you'll see my interview with Dr. Shiva, the man who invented email and is also a biology dude.
00:11:10.000 What do you call them?
00:11:11.000 Biologist?
00:11:12.000 Is he just a biologist or is he a bioengineer?
00:11:17.000 I think he's a bioengineer, actually.
00:11:18.000 So we spoke to him about all this.
00:11:20.000 He seemed a little politically correct, if I may.
00:11:24.000 Because on Summit.news, Paul Joseph Watson's thing, he calls it all a big lie and a bioweapon.
00:11:30.000 I mean, I'm paraphrasing.
00:11:32.000 But when I interviewed him on the show, he was much more ambiguous and said, look, it doesn't matter if it was made by the government.
00:11:39.000 The point is the government doesn't know how to deal with it because they suck at infrastructure.
00:11:43.000 Which is an interesting point.
00:11:45.000 But I don't know, like, even on this flight I got planned to Texas next week, I'll just drink alcohol.
00:11:53.000 Like, you purel your hands?
00:11:55.000 I purel the inside of my body every day with this.
00:11:59.000 How can anything survive in here?
00:12:01.000 You're being fucking naive, dude.
00:12:03.000 Really?
00:12:04.000 How many deaths are we at?
00:12:05.000 Like 200 in a population of 331 million?
00:12:11.000 Over a thousand people were cured in Italy, too.
00:12:14.000 Oh, really?
00:12:15.000 As of yesterday, yeah.
00:12:16.000 Plus, they're all oldies.
00:12:18.000 Although, I was going to meet going to visit Tommy Robinson.
00:12:20.000 I was going to meet my dad up in Britain, too.
00:12:23.000 And my cousin today said, don't do that.
00:12:27.000 You're going to kill your da.
00:12:30.000 And I thought, well, he has had a pretty good run.
00:12:36.000 I feel like his last words would be, thanks, paul.
00:12:39.000 I thought Chet Hanks was laid back about his pops.
00:12:43.000 I'm way more dope.
00:12:44.000 This is mega Hanks.
00:12:45.000 This is double chilling.
00:12:46.000 I'm going to get tons of beautiful spiritual tattoos.
00:12:50.000 God, it's so gay to have spiritual tattoos, like that Namaste thing.
00:12:55.000 And it's always 22-year-olds getting it.
00:12:58.000 Really?
00:12:59.000 You've learned a Lot in life.
00:13:00.000 You've been an adult for what, four years?
00:13:03.000 And you're telling me that you just have to take every moment as it comes.
00:13:07.000 One day at a time.
00:13:09.000 That's what this says in fucking Arabic across my back.
00:13:14.000 This means dreams and destiny in fucking Urdu.
00:13:18.000 Destined to be a douche.
00:13:20.000 Dream to be a chod.
00:13:23.000 Yeah, over a thousand people cured of Kirony.
00:13:26.000 Yeah.
00:13:27.000 You call it Kirony?
00:13:28.000 That's your fun little.
00:13:29.000 Yeah, you say it so much that you have to put some.
00:13:31.000 What the fuck are you wearing, by the way?
00:13:33.000 Dress shoes, blue socks, slacks, and a football shirt?
00:13:39.000 Go to a wide, Ryan.
00:13:41.000 I don't have a wide.
00:13:42.000 Oh, this is it.
00:13:44.000 No, that's the wide.
00:13:46.000 Yeah, that looks really bad.
00:13:48.000 Awesome.
00:13:50.000 No, you look like an immigrant.
00:13:53.000 Yes.
00:13:54.000 You look like a Turkish guy who's trying to be American.
00:13:57.000 That's what I'm going for.
00:14:00.000 The good news is Marianne Williamson has been praying for us to be cured of this.
00:14:07.000 I'm sure you've seen this already.
00:14:08.000 And by the time you see this on YouTube, it will be like weeks old.
00:14:12.000 But I did not know I had a vagina until she said this.
00:14:17.000 We pray that it be dissolved with healing.
00:14:20.000 With healing, with healing.
00:14:22.000 Her cervix.
00:14:24.000 Your penis.
00:14:25.000 She knows.
00:14:26.000 Your vagina.
00:14:27.000 Your penis.
00:14:29.000 Your penis.
00:14:30.000 Your buttocks.
00:14:31.000 Wait, did you just say your box?
00:14:33.000 Buttocks.
00:14:34.000 Oh, buttocks.
00:14:36.000 Who's doing the zooming?
00:14:37.000 Is that her?
00:14:37.000 No, I believe this is somebody in post.
00:14:41.000 With healing.
00:14:42.000 With healing.
00:14:43.000 Your cervix.
00:14:45.000 Your penis.
00:14:46.000 Wait, maybe not.
00:14:47.000 Your vagina.
00:14:48.000 You don't need to zoom in if you're trying to be funny.
00:14:50.000 Your colon.
00:14:51.000 Your colon?
00:14:53.000 Yes.
00:14:58.000 Go wash your hands.
00:15:02.000 How much is she kidding there?
00:15:03.000 Zero?
00:15:04.000 I think it has to be a joke.
00:15:06.000 She would be a weird lay.
00:15:09.000 I think she'd be an annoying lay.
00:15:10.000 I think she'd be a little too like.
00:15:16.000 Lots of breathing and shit.
00:15:18.000 She reminds me of the lady that Big Lebowski screwed.
00:15:21.000 And Big Lebowski.
00:15:23.000 I don't remember that.
00:15:26.000 But that's all you have to do is pray for everyone's colon.
00:15:29.000 I don't think it affects your colon.
00:15:31.000 I think she's wasting a lot of prayers on a colon.
00:15:36.000 Although I saw that video about an hour ago and I have not farted since.
00:15:41.000 And you farted somewhere in the fart chain, isn't it?
00:15:46.000 No.
00:15:46.000 What's this?
00:15:47.000 This is a lady from Blabowski.
00:15:49.000 Isn't that Jillian Williamson or something?
00:15:51.000 Jillian Moore?
00:15:53.000 Yes, I know all about it, and I know that you acted as courier.
00:15:56.000 Let me tell you.
00:15:57.000 That's the same thing.
00:15:58.000 That's a totally different type of chick.
00:15:59.000 That's like a ball to the wall.
00:16:00.000 Let's get organized.
00:16:02.000 Totally different stuff.
00:16:03.000 She's laying back and she's holding her legs up.
00:16:05.000 And he's like, what are you doing?
00:16:06.000 She's like, it helps conceive.
00:16:08.000 Or conception.
00:16:10.000 Helps conception.
00:16:11.000 Yeah.
00:16:12.000 She's all like spiritually arguing.
00:16:13.000 She's trying to make a baby?
00:16:15.000 Yeah.
00:16:15.000 It does help with conceiving.
00:16:17.000 Oh, snap.
00:16:19.000 Wow, you really are a great input.
00:16:24.000 What else should we talk about?
00:16:25.000 Is that it for coronavirus?
00:16:26.000 I mean, what do you say?
00:16:28.000 It's all or nothing, really, as far as the reactions go.
00:16:32.000 You either totally self-quarantine or you just give up and say, I think this is bullshit.
00:16:37.000 I'm of the latter group.
00:16:40.000 I assume you are too, Ryan.
00:16:43.000 Yeah.
00:16:45.000 I don't think too much about it.
00:16:47.000 We're both on Metro North, going into the city every day.
00:16:49.000 We're on the subway.
00:16:52.000 Yeah.
00:16:53.000 In New York City.
00:16:54.000 And I was at CPAC.
00:16:55.000 I shook 500 hands at CPAC, at least.
00:17:00.000 I'm patient zero, basically.
00:17:02.000 I have coronavirus.
00:17:03.000 It's not that bad.
00:17:04.000 Plenty of us have it and don't even know.
00:17:08.000 Like it can get onto the cell, but then it has to penetrate the cell.
00:17:13.000 And as we learned from Dr. Shivs, if you have enough vitamin A, you have enough of an immune system, it can't get into the cells.
00:17:20.000 It can't lock onto them.
00:17:24.000 Is this a boring show?
00:17:25.000 Bet DSI.com.
00:17:27.000 Maybe for the people on YouTube, when we get to crack loose.
00:17:32.000 Bet DSI is a wonderful betting site.
00:17:37.000 Although, what's going to happen with Bet DSI?
00:17:40.000 Because March Madness is a huge part of Bet DSI, and March Madness is canceled.
00:17:46.000 That's right.
00:17:50.000 Yeah, I heard that too, but I think it's gone even farther.
00:17:53.000 I'm not sure.
00:17:54.000 I mean, the news is changing on an hourly basis.
00:17:57.000 But whatever sports are out there, you should go to betdsi.com slash Gavin.
00:18:03.000 That's using promo code Gavin to make a deposit and start winning free money with me at BetDSI.
00:18:10.000 And then all my script here is about betting on March Madness.
00:18:17.000 It's really weird, too, to watch a game without an audience.
00:18:20.000 I saw a soccer game recently that was just the, when they get a goal, and it's just, you realize how stupid sports is.
00:18:27.000 It's just a ball going into a net.
00:18:29.000 And then the team is very happy, but there's no crowd.
00:18:34.000 And the sportscasters, too, seem disinterested.
00:18:42.000 Me and Bet DSI will match you 120% up to $1,000.
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00:18:59.000 You deposit 500, you're getting another 600 plus my exclusive $25 bonus.
00:19:07.000 And so on and so on.
00:19:11.000 Anyway, I don't know what bets are going on, what games are going on.
00:19:14.000 The MLB, we talked about this, right?
00:19:16.000 It's totally delayed.
00:19:18.000 So does that mean it goes into like July?
00:19:23.000 I don't know.
00:19:24.000 Is it going to go all summer?
00:19:25.000 That would be cool.
00:19:27.000 Why does baseball end?
00:19:29.000 Baseball should go till October.
00:19:33.000 Hey, can't they just wear it like?
00:19:34.000 It should go from now to October.
00:19:36.000 I heard the Yankees might be starting their season in Florida.
00:19:44.000 Anyway, go to BatDSI.com.
00:19:46.000 He's promo code Gavin.
00:19:47.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:19:48.000 And We'd like to personally thank them for supporting the show for so long.
00:19:53.000 I was thinking, what if all this shit did end up getting real?
00:19:56.000 What I would do?
00:19:57.000 I guess I would just throw everyone into the car and drive up to Canada or something.
00:20:02.000 Where it's cold?
00:20:03.000 Yeah, where do the cases in Canada?
00:20:04.000 I have not heard anything about that.
00:20:06.000 I don't know.
00:20:07.000 Coronavirus in Canada.
00:20:09.000 Or if it's not affecting black people, go get a hotel room in Harlem.
00:20:13.000 Yeah.
00:20:14.000 Or Wakanda.
00:20:15.000 Wakanda's not real.
00:20:17.000 Then never mind, that sucks.
00:20:19.000 Remember that professor saying Wakanda is everything that black, that Africa could be if it wasn't for colonization?
00:20:26.000 And then Ben Shapiro goes, Wakanda's not real.
00:20:32.000 And the amazing thing about that movie is you look at Wakanda and you go.
00:20:37.000 It looks like shit.
00:20:38.000 It's not that great.
00:20:41.000 Like there's one or two buildings that have really cool technology, but there's also dirt roads and some shitty vendors with like pieces of bamboo and a pot hanging on the edge.
00:20:51.000 Like when they go to the market.
00:20:53.000 Yeah, that doesn't look as nice as New York.
00:20:56.000 And they have meetings on a waterfall.
00:21:00.000 I'm not impressed.
00:21:01.000 Especially when your top export is a magic thing that's better than oil, gas, and nuclear power combined.
00:21:10.000 And you still can't really get it together.
00:21:13.000 And you're fictional.
00:21:14.000 I'm not impressed.
00:21:17.000 I don't see a lot of fun happening there.
00:21:20.000 No.
00:21:22.000 All right.
00:21:23.000 So, yeah, I would just drive away.
00:21:24.000 But by the way, speaking of Ben Shapiro, there's obviously this funny split on the right with the, I would call them paleoconservatives, like Michelle Malkin and Nick Fuentes and the Groipers, and then the more sort of progressive conservatives like Ben Shapiro and Charlie Kirk and all that.
00:21:42.000 And I like Turning Point USA.
00:21:45.000 I like Charlie Kirk, but he has said some stupid shit in the past.
00:21:52.000 So have I, of course.
00:21:53.000 But Michelle dug up this quote of his where he's talking about us taking in 50 million immigrants.
00:22:00.000 Maybe he's changed his mind since he said this, but what did he say?
00:22:03.000 I don't think, by the way, and I know this sounds like a silly argument.
00:22:07.000 I encourage all of you to fly nonstop from New York to San Francisco with your window open, you're not allowed to sleep, and tell me that we'd have too many people in this country.
00:22:16.000 We have land after land after land.
00:22:18.000 Yeah, it's all being used for farming.
00:22:20.000 We don't know what to do with it.
00:22:22.000 If we wanted to actually grow as much food as we could possibly produce, we could feed the world 10 times over.
00:22:27.000 We pay our farmers not to grow.
00:22:30.000 The United States of America is an incubator for great ideas.
00:22:33.000 I think we could take another 50 million highly qualified people in the next 10 years and not even feel that.
00:22:39.000 So we're now almost 400 million people.
00:22:39.000 50 million.
00:22:42.000 To bring them to a certain state.
00:22:44.000 At least he's saying numbers.
00:22:45.000 People, pro-immigration people can never give me numbers.
00:22:47.000 ...state in Ohio, where they have a highly functional immigrant community from Armenia...
00:22:53.000 And some are Muslim and some are Christian.
00:22:54.000 They came with all the resources and they fled.
00:22:57.000 Some fled, some came here legally.
00:22:59.000 And they are the highest per capita neighborhoods in Dayton.
00:23:02.000 They've assimilated beautifully.
00:23:03.000 I see that as a great success story that can happen all across the country.
00:23:07.000 I was just in New York.
00:23:08.000 When you walk the streets in New York and you really feel the spirit and you feel the energy and you see the shops and you see the entrepreneurs, that's the market at best.
00:23:17.000 Where's the market at worst?
00:23:18.000 Well, when I go to Los Angeles and I ask people, well, where are the highest rates of welfare in the city every day?
00:23:26.000 There's a lot of immigrant communities that we have to immigration.
00:23:35.000 We employ them.
00:23:37.000 A country should always act in its rational self-interest.
00:23:40.000 So if you have more people that are all going to bring money with them, or even better, bring skills with them, the country will only get wealthier, the country will only get more productive, and the country will only get more.
00:23:50.000 But the Michelle Malkin thing is different from that.
00:23:53.000 Sure is.
00:23:57.000 The tweet from Chief Trump's drug.
00:23:59.000 Can't she be fat and ugly so I can concentrate, please?
00:24:04.000 Can't she trade bodies with the what's her name who did girls?
00:24:08.000 Lena Dunham.
00:24:09.000 Lena Dunham.
00:24:10.000 Can Michelle Malkin and Lena Dunham switch bodies, please, so I can focus?
00:24:14.000 It would help the world more.
00:24:15.000 Yeah.
00:24:17.000 Mass immigration into Japan and calling Japan's immigration policy, quote, really, really bad.
00:24:26.000 Listen to this if you can.
00:24:28.000 Are not too generous.
00:24:30.000 How many refugees do you think Japan accepted in 2016?
00:24:34.000 A couple thousand, ten thousand, twenty-six.
00:24:34.000 The perfect number.
00:24:39.000 Twenty-six.
00:24:40.000 Japan in 2016 accepted 26 refugees.
00:24:44.000 How about the first half of 2017?
00:24:46.000 Three.
00:24:47.000 They accepted three refugees.
00:24:50.000 Here's the problem with that argument.
00:24:51.000 Sorry.
00:24:54.000 We're, what, seven billion people?
00:24:56.000 Two-thirds of them would love to come to America.
00:24:59.000 And the term refugee, now we have economic refugees, where if you're just sort of poor and your life sucks, then you want to come over here.
00:25:07.000 Okay, so 4 billion people would like to come here?
00:25:12.000 Like if we really opened the floodgates, how many billions of people would like to come here?
00:25:17.000 So how about no refugees?
00:25:20.000 It's all or nothing.
00:25:21.000 Like, does it really help when you have 4 billion people who want to come here and you take in a million?
00:25:26.000 Have you really done anything?
00:25:27.000 It's like these idiots with these pet rescue things.
00:25:31.000 I found a stray dog and he weighed 10 pounds and then we fed him.
00:25:34.000 He's back to health.
00:25:36.000 Did you really help things?
00:25:38.000 It's really just a hairy insect.
00:25:40.000 And now there's more of them.
00:25:42.000 How many rats did you save this year?
00:25:44.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:46.000 Support this strict of refugee resettlement.
00:25:49.000 I mean, this is extraordinary.
00:25:51.000 Just 2% of Japan's population is foreign-boring.
00:25:54.000 This is actually an example of really, really bad immigration policy.
00:25:58.000 I mean, it sounds really good.
00:26:00.000 To some, oh, strict borders, but actually, Japanese worst debt to GDP ratios in the entire world.
00:26:06.000 They have an Asian population.
00:26:08.000 They have.
00:26:10.000 Of course, they have an Asian population.
00:26:12.000 It's Japan.
00:26:15.000 That they've not been able to solve internally.
00:26:17.000 And honestly, an upstart entrepreneurial-focused immigrant community could really have helped Japan.
00:26:24.000 They've gone far, far in the wrong direction when it comes to immigration.
00:26:28.000 So, so refugee resettlement, I get that.
00:26:31.000 I mean, you don't do refugee resettlement.
00:26:32.000 So, anyway, Michelle takes that in a rage on her Telegram.
00:26:37.000 I highly recommend you guys get Telegram and Parlor.
00:26:42.000 Telegram is clunky, but it seems more newsy, and Parlor seems a little more fun.
00:26:46.000 It's got a little more Instagram-iness to it.
00:26:51.000 But yeah, that's my problem.
00:26:53.000 I like Charlie Kirk.
00:26:54.000 I like that he's out there in schools mocking political correctness, but his immigration stances, at least in the past, have been absolutely fucking ridiculous.
00:27:04.000 We do not want 50 million people here.
00:27:06.000 And I don't know if we need...
00:27:09.000 We start with bona fide refugees like the white farmers in South Africa and the Christians in northern Iraq that are getting killed.
00:27:17.000 Remember Ezra Levant had that Bible from the church where Muslims had gone and just shot up the church and there was a Bible with a bullet hole?
00:27:25.000 And I'm so vain and lame, the first thing I thought when he showed me that was, could I have that?
00:27:33.000 Like, we have what?
00:27:36.000 How many Christians are killed every year?
00:27:39.000 I think it's 90,000.
00:27:41.000 So what is 90,000?
00:27:42.000 What's 90,000 divided by 365?
00:27:46.000 How many thousand?
00:27:47.000 90,000.
00:27:48.000 90,000.
00:27:50.000 Did you do, you just put in 90000.
00:27:56.000 Thanks, Bronx.
00:27:57.000 Great public schools.
00:27:58.000 Well, it's right next to them.
00:28:02.000 Yeah, it is, I guess.
00:28:04.000 What is taking you so fucking long?
00:28:07.000 1,384.
00:28:09.000 A day.
00:28:10.000 615.
00:28:11.000 A day.
00:28:12.000 That's pretty nuts.
00:28:13.000 So almost 1,500 Christians are killed a day.
00:28:16.000 Let's get them in here.
00:28:18.000 If we're going to take some people.
00:28:20.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:28:21.000 It's 246.
00:28:21.000 It's less than that.
00:28:23.000 Yeah, that makes a little more sense.
00:28:25.000 What was your first mistake?
00:28:27.000 The three was absent.
00:28:30.000 So you had divided by 65?
00:28:31.000 I did.
00:28:32.000 God, you're fucking useless.
00:28:35.000 Oh, look, we're already out of time.
00:28:38.000 We've barely begun the show.
00:28:39.000 This is a two-hour show.
00:28:41.000 We're only halfway.
00:28:42.000 We're only half an hour into a two-hour show.
00:28:44.000 We're a quarter of the way in.
00:28:46.000 I can't believe we're not talking about Bubba and Hanks.
00:28:48.000 They sent me meat today.
00:28:51.000 Did Dude respond?
00:28:53.000 Did you text him at all?
00:28:54.000 I did.
00:28:55.000 Let's see if Dude said anything.
00:28:58.000 Dude said anything.
00:29:01.000 All right, well, let's not bore the viewers with that.
00:29:04.000 No Bubba until later, but free plugs are always nice if they send you stuff.
00:29:09.000 I sent you a picture of my meat in my freezer.
00:29:12.000 Oh, yes.
00:29:12.000 I just got a shipment of Bubba and Hanks.
00:29:15.000 Sure did.
00:29:16.000 You got that picture?
00:29:17.000 I do.
00:29:21.000 By the way, this is an inside look into my freezer.
00:29:23.000 I hope there's nothing embarrassing in there.
00:29:25.000 Redoxed.
00:29:26.000 Pastry pups.
00:29:27.000 What the hell are those?
00:29:28.000 God, my wife is such a hoarder.
00:29:30.000 I tried to marry a whore.
00:29:31.000 I ended up with a hoarder.
00:29:33.000 I'm shocked that we were able to fit that meat in the freezer.
00:29:36.000 Every drawer in my house, you can't open it because there's just crap coming out of it.
00:29:41.000 We've had that same fight about packed drawers and overstuffed things since we met.
00:29:48.000 Whatever fight you have with your wife in the first year, just cryogenically freeze that because you're going to be regurgitating it for the rest of your life.
00:29:57.000 That exact same, exactly the same fight.
00:29:59.000 I'll go to open a drawer and there'll be like some fucking pile of markers and I'll go, God damn it!
00:30:05.000 I'll go, why is there so much shit in this drawer?
00:30:09.000 And that includes freezer drawers.
00:30:11.000 But let me see that meat again.
00:30:12.000 Freezer drawers.
00:30:14.000 Yeah, zoom in on the meat.
00:30:15.000 All right, meat is a paper.
00:30:16.000 Not the pastry pups or the fried rice.
00:30:19.000 God, it's hot as balls in here.
00:30:21.000 Bottom as holes.
00:30:22.000 Hey, I think we should do a commercial.
00:30:24.000 If I come over one day, we show some of the grilling and then show some of the eating.
00:30:28.000 We make a Bubba Hank commercial.
00:30:30.000 Let's take these ads by the balls.
00:30:33.000 Okay.
00:30:34.000 Well, speaking of commercials, I'm in a commercial with you already today.
00:30:37.000 For what?
00:30:38.000 For the song, Wake Up Little Susie.
00:30:40.000 I came by Ryan's apartment.
00:30:42.000 We don't obviously don't do anything in the day when we do these night shows.
00:30:46.000 And at around, I think, 6 p.m., this is what Ryan was doing.
00:30:53.000 I don't like this song.
00:30:57.000 Wake up, little Susie.
00:30:59.000 Wake up.
00:31:02.000 Wake up, Lil Susie.
00:31:04.000 Wake up.
00:31:07.000 You're going to forever regret giving me keys to your apartment.
00:31:10.000 That was the dumbest thing you've ever done.
00:31:12.000 Well, it helps sometimes, but sometimes it really.
00:31:16.000 Can you just tell us about your insane sleep schedule?
00:31:19.000 Why would you sleep?
00:31:20.000 I sleep after I eat a little too much, or if I'm feeling a little Lymesy, sometimes I can't explain why I'm tired.
00:31:27.000 Why haven't you gotten a blood test after you did your antibiotics?
00:31:30.000 Just I haven't had the time to do that.
00:31:32.000 That's such bullshit!
00:31:35.000 I don't want to.
00:31:36.000 Not yet.
00:31:37.000 Why?
00:31:38.000 Because I'm just not worried about it too much.
00:31:40.000 I just take my little naps.
00:31:41.000 I get my work done.
00:31:42.000 And that's what I'm doing.
00:31:43.000 Ryan's been blowing his money.
00:31:44.000 He's been watching YouTube videos on Saville Row, where British billionaires have their suits custom-made for thousands of pounds.
00:31:54.000 And he's been watching Taylor videos.
00:31:56.000 He's been buying shoes.
00:31:57.000 He's got, how much are those fucking shoes?
00:31:59.000 $195.
00:31:59.000 These will last a lifetime.
00:32:00.000 $200 shoes.
00:32:01.000 These are by $30.
00:32:02.000 Then he spends another $50 on shoe-shining equipment.
00:32:06.000 That was $50, yeah.
00:32:07.000 It's not bad.
00:32:07.000 It lasts me forever.
00:32:09.000 No one buys shoe-shining equipment, you fucking tard.
00:32:13.000 When you're at Grand Central, you pay for a shoe shine maybe twice a year.
00:32:17.000 $8 a piece.
00:32:18.000 Yeah, no.
00:32:19.000 No one shines their own shoes.
00:32:21.000 So in five shoe shines, you get your money's worth.
00:32:24.000 Yeah.
00:32:26.000 All right, we're done talking about coronavirus, right?
00:32:30.000 And we're done talking about politics.
00:32:32.000 Oh, and we're done with the free part of the show.
00:32:34.000 So I would just like to remind you to go to jacbd.com, JohnnyAppleseed, the number one sponsor of the show.
00:32:43.000 They've been with us since day one.
00:32:45.000 And we use the topicals, we use the ointment for sore muscles.
00:32:49.000 Everyone at my gym loves it.
00:32:52.000 We use the tincture in our coffee to take the edge off.
00:32:54.000 You know, when you're having that second cup because you're hungover or something, but it gives you sort of like the sketchies.
00:32:59.000 Well, you put the tincture in.
00:33:02.000 Ryan's trying to show you that now.
00:33:05.000 And that makes you feel better.
00:33:08.000 And then the edibles are great around nappy time.
00:33:13.000 They don't make you tired, though.
00:33:15.000 They just sort of even you out.
00:33:18.000 So please use a promo code Gavin.
00:33:20.000 Get 20% off all orders, free shipping when you go to johnnyapple.com.
00:33:25.000 We are now ending the free portion of the show.
00:33:29.000 Not a very good show, I would say, so far.
00:33:32.000 Yeah, we're holding back for these Fs.
00:33:34.000 I mean, the problem with YouTube is we can't play music.
00:33:37.000 We can't show you movies.
00:33:39.000 This show is usually a lot more exciting.
00:33:41.000 We might not even put this on YouTube.
00:33:43.000 No, snap.
00:33:43.000 Yeah, you heard it.
00:33:44.000 I think we need to for the ads.
00:33:46.000 All right, I'm going to slip into a string vest, and then we're going to continue to shoot the shit.
00:33:46.000 Oh, yeah.
00:33:51.000 I want to talk about I Am Jazz, the show about that Tranny kid, which is the darkest shit I've ever seen.
00:33:59.000 And yeah, we're going to continue to go through funny news stories, and then we're going to take calls.
00:34:07.000 So get fired.
00:34:08.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:34:30.000 I don't like the butt shake.
00:34:38.000 I don't like the butt chick.
00:34:41.000 Does this go in the front or the back?
00:34:43.000 From the front to back.
00:34:45.000 When I was a kid in Britain growing up, all the men wore these.
00:34:48.000 They look remarkably gay.
00:34:49.000 Yeah, what is that?
00:34:50.000 It looks like porn wear, like a porn fishnet dress.
00:34:57.000 But you were hot.
00:34:58.000 Come on, I'm fucking sweating my balls off.
00:35:02.000 That was you.
00:35:03.000 But what they would do is they'd wear this, the string vest.
00:35:06.000 They'd have their newspaper.
00:35:07.000 And then they would make a hat out of a napkin.
00:35:10.000 And so what you do for that is you tie up the four corners of a...
00:35:17.000 Oh, you got it there.
00:35:20.000 You tie up the four corners of a napkin and put them on your head.
00:35:24.000 And it just looks so normal to me as a kid in Britain.
00:35:28.000 No, no, no, no.
00:35:29.000 Look what Ryan brings.
00:35:31.000 This is what Ryan brings.
00:35:33.000 Like a serviette that you'd eat with.
00:35:35.000 How am I supposed to tie this into four knots?
00:35:38.000 It has to be like a tablecloth.
00:35:41.000 It was some kind of Highlander magic.
00:35:44.000 How am I supposed to tie that?
00:35:46.000 Click on one of those pictures, like the guy with the string vest right there.
00:35:50.000 Oh.
00:35:51.000 So how am I supposed to make that out of what you gave me, this fucking Yama card?
00:35:55.000 You unfold it.
00:35:57.000 That's folded in quarters.
00:35:59.000 That might be large enough as your average serviette.
00:36:02.000 That's true.
00:36:04.000 But it's going to be very fragile.
00:36:08.000 Oh, yeah.
00:36:09.000 I didn't really enjoy that intro to the show.
00:36:11.000 Yeah, but you know what?
00:36:12.000 They get what they pay for.
00:36:14.000 What?
00:36:15.000 I have a lot of the YouTubers.
00:36:18.000 I feign resentment towards them for some reason.
00:36:22.000 Okay, well, now we can relax.
00:36:24.000 We're with our actual people, not our free people.
00:36:27.000 And I have a prediction I just made the other day at the bar.
00:36:31.000 I was day drinking, as is my wont.
00:36:33.000 And someone was playing songs in the jukebox.
00:36:36.000 And it's, you know, we're all old men there.
00:36:38.000 And we're just like, what are you doing?
00:36:41.000 I don't want to hear the songs you like.
00:36:44.000 But we were also, as old men, occasionally showing each other a funny meme on our phones.
00:36:49.000 And then it hit me.
00:36:50.000 What we're going to be doing soon, you have a Bluetooth TV.
00:36:55.000 You hook up your phone to the Bluetooth TV.
00:36:55.000 Amazing.
00:36:58.000 Obviously, you can't do it at a busy bar, and you can't do it when young people are out there parting their asses off.
00:37:04.000 But when it's just like a couple guys in the day at a bar, yeah, you'll hook up YouTube to your, you hook up your phone to the TV, find YouTube.
00:37:15.000 This is still ridiculous, Ryan.
00:37:19.000 Well, we get it.
00:37:21.000 We get it.
00:37:22.000 And then you'll just show the guys at the bar like 15 videos.
00:37:28.000 That's pretty cool.
00:37:33.000 You know what I mean?
00:37:34.000 That's my prediction.
00:37:34.000 Yeah.
00:37:35.000 I predict that would be a thing.
00:37:37.000 Let's focus for a second on I Am Jazz because I am so not jazzed with I Am Jazz.
00:37:37.000 All right.
00:37:45.000 I watched it kind of high and drunk the other night and it was the perfect level of darkness.
00:37:50.000 You know, when you're drunk, you could watch a dog being killed and you just go, oh, fuck, they really hated that dog.
00:37:56.000 Well, you're always drunk, so that makes sense.
00:37:58.000 Your disdain for dogs never goes away.
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:01.000 Well, you're not emotional.
00:38:03.000 Although, obviously, Kids in Peril makes you cry in a movie, but I was watching I Am Jazz, and I'm usually very sensitive to children, but I was just like, this is cool.
00:38:16.000 Like I'm watching Gigi Allen.
00:38:20.000 This is cool.
00:38:22.000 Oh, man.
00:38:25.000 I just broke it.
00:38:26.000 How the hell did that happen?
00:38:28.000 I picked it up by the bobblehead.
00:38:29.000 Yeah, but when did that happen?
00:38:31.000 Ah, geez.
00:38:33.000 We got glue.
00:38:34.000 We'll glue that.
00:38:36.000 Thanks a lot, Gigi Allen bobblehead manufacturers.
00:38:40.000 Don't blame it.
00:38:41.000 You dropped it.
00:38:42.000 Don't blame it.
00:38:43.000 Get the glue right now, please.
00:38:45.000 Well, I don't know where it is.
00:38:47.000 So you're lying.
00:38:48.000 We don't have glue.
00:38:49.000 I'm sure we do.
00:38:50.000 No, we don't have shit here.
00:38:51.000 Fudge.
00:38:52.000 We'll get glue.
00:38:53.000 Anyway, I'm watching it and I'm like, this is just Gigi Allen.
00:38:56.000 I'm watching the darkest, weirdest, grossest shit that you can imagine.
00:39:01.000 This Jewish woman adopts Indian kids.
00:39:04.000 Okay, that sounds nice.
00:39:06.000 And then she goes, well, one of them's gay.
00:39:10.000 All right.
00:39:11.000 And after lots of counseling and me explaining it to him, he feels uncomfortable with his genitals and he wants to be a woman.
00:39:18.000 So they cut his fucking dick off.
00:39:20.000 And you're thinking, what about the Indian woman who goes, oh my gosh, I have no monies.
00:39:25.000 I need to make sure these children are safe.
00:39:28.000 I cannot keep them safe.
00:39:29.000 This is a terrible town.
00:39:31.000 There are pedophiles in my village and they could hurt the child.
00:39:34.000 I am going to send him to America where he can become an MIT professor.
00:39:39.000 And then she checks in on Jazz, her son, and they realize, oh, they cut his bag, made it into labia, and folded his penis inside out.
00:39:48.000 And then using a welding iron, they burnt two holes above his, where his pubes are.
00:39:56.000 One of them makes a clit, the other makes a piss hole.
00:40:01.000 Oh, that was not my plan, actually.
00:40:03.000 I wanted to be a little more safe, a little less genital mutilate.
00:40:11.000 To think that the abortion would have been a plus is really aborting him would have been a little less cruel.
00:40:20.000 But yeah, show that clip that I sent you, that woman analyzing it.
00:40:24.000 Any sexual sensations at all?
00:40:24.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:40:27.000 No, go back to the very beginning.
00:40:29.000 The first second is important.
00:40:31.000 Any sexual sensations at all.
00:40:34.000 Also televised the possibility of needing tissue expanders to stretch out his scrotum in preparation for castration and penile deconstruction.
00:40:46.000 That's good.
00:40:47.000 Okay, that's bad.
00:40:49.000 This year, TLC celebrated the total and irreversible destruction of Jazz's reproductive organs at the age of 18.
00:40:58.000 Can I just say something?
00:41:00.000 I hate when people are on TV and they show their toes.
00:41:04.000 Like you're on TV.
00:41:05.000 Just wear some shoes for fuck's sakes.
00:41:07.000 A lot of toes.
00:41:08.000 I don't want to see your toes on television.
00:41:12.000 Wife Swap shows and reality TV, they've always got their toes hanging around.
00:41:17.000 Hey, what is M-Toe?
00:41:18.000 Why are you so comfortable?
00:41:21.000 What are we watching?
00:41:22.000 Toe LC?
00:41:23.000 Nice.
00:41:24.000 The Farewell Penis Party.
00:41:26.000 The self-loathing is palpable.
00:41:32.000 Oh my.
00:41:34.000 It's a huge pop.
00:41:36.000 Speech, speech, speech, speech.
00:41:39.000 I just want to thank you all for coming to this farewell penis party.
00:41:46.000 You know, for 17 and a half years, I've lived with this body part that I have not wanted.
00:41:53.000 Just pop brain.
00:41:54.000 Wait a minute.
00:41:56.000 Wait a minute.
00:41:56.000 17 and a half years you've lived with that body part that you haven't wanted.
00:41:59.000 So when you were six months old, you didn't want your dick?
00:42:02.000 Wow.
00:42:03.000 When did you really start not wanting your dick?
00:42:05.000 Was it after your mom?
00:42:06.000 By the way, the mom is so hideous that it's possible that she promotes trans culture because people just assume she's a man.
00:42:15.000 Look at her.
00:42:16.000 She looks like the basis for Dawkin.
00:42:22.000 So she's like, actually, you know, people keep asking me if I'm a man.
00:42:26.000 It would be fine if I was a man because trans people are cool.
00:42:30.000 In fact, my daughter was a man and now she's a chick.
00:42:34.000 Even though I've grown to love my penis for what it is, I'm happy to say goodbye.
00:42:40.000 So let's cut it off.
00:42:45.000 How depraved is that?
00:42:47.000 You're cutting your dick off and your mom is going, oh, that's the dick I made with my vagina.
00:42:55.000 Now we're going to cut it to shreds.
00:42:57.000 Do you think we could put that on YouTube?
00:42:59.000 The CGI video of the sex change that we did?
00:43:02.000 I think so.
00:43:04.000 I think so.
00:43:06.000 Part of Jazz's peritoneal lining in order to procure enough tissue.
00:43:06.000 All right.
00:43:11.000 By the way, look, wait.
00:43:12.000 Get rid of me for a second.
00:43:14.000 Look how shitty his tits are.
00:43:17.000 What are those?
00:43:18.000 What?
00:43:18.000 Are those tits even friends?
00:43:19.000 Oh, I thought he was...
00:43:24.000 Tits are supposed to be symmetrical, not a different species.
00:43:28.000 One looks like a ferret head, and the other looks like a dead orange.
00:43:32.000 Yeah, they're like the sharks and the jets right now.
00:43:35.000 They are not hanging out.
00:43:36.000 Are your tits not on speaking terms?
00:43:40.000 What happened?
00:43:41.000 That's got to hurt so much.
00:43:43.000 Like, you know, it's like tattoo pain.
00:43:46.000 You know, when like it's just that dull soreness?
00:43:48.000 It's got to be worse than that when you get your penis chopped off.
00:43:51.000 Oh, my God.
00:43:52.000 Can you imagine?
00:43:52.000 And it's in your no-no zone and it hurts.
00:43:55.000 In your no-no place?
00:43:56.000 Stop.
00:43:56.000 Don't cut my dick.
00:43:58.000 This is my no-no place.
00:43:59.000 Stop.
00:44:02.000 Yeah, the pain must be unimaginable.
00:44:06.000 It would make you depressed.
00:44:07.000 I know guys that have been circumcised as adults for whatever reason, probably because their doctors are shitty and said it's the only solution.
00:44:16.000 I was told I had to be circumcised when I was 20.
00:44:19.000 Some girl ripped my fresnellum, jerking me off too hard.
00:44:22.000 And he said, no, we got to cut it off.
00:44:24.000 And I went, no, I'm not, I'm not going.
00:44:26.000 I didn't show up for the operation.
00:44:28.000 And I just fixed my dick.
00:44:32.000 So that's probably what happened to these guys.
00:44:33.000 But anyway, one of the guys was telling me that they cut his foreskin off when he was like 25.
00:44:39.000 He made a suit that was two couch cushions on either hip with a belt.
00:44:46.000 He found like a super fat person belt.
00:44:49.000 And he would wear that so that his penis, you couldn't possibly bump it or touch it.
00:44:54.000 Or even sleeping if you rolled over, it would still be within the cushion zone and nothing could touch it or hurt it because it fucking killed for like six weeks.
00:45:03.000 Actually, I know of a baseball dad who was circumcised.
00:45:06.000 I forgot about that guy.
00:45:09.000 Anyway, that's just one tiny piece of your dick.
00:45:14.000 That's just this.
00:45:17.000 To have a sex change is to cut open Gigi Allen's head, his chest, turn it all inside out, stuff it around, then pull it with threads, touch the Christmas tree for good luck.
00:45:28.000 And then we're left with this.
00:45:32.000 You'd have to destroy him way.
00:45:34.000 I'm finally in touch with my body.
00:45:37.000 She sat with the, what's her name?
00:45:40.000 The conservative blonde, tawny.
00:45:43.000 Tommy Loren.
00:45:44.000 And I wish Tommy had just asked her this one question: How is what you're going through different from body dysmorphia, wherein people think that they should be paraplegics or they should have their leg amputated because they feel born to be a crippled person, so they cut their fucking leg off?
00:46:05.000 How is it different from that?
00:46:07.000 Because her argument sounds good in this interview.
00:46:13.000 Government agents standing outside bathrooms looking at people's birth certificates or asking for a physical inspection feels to me very intrusive and the opposite of what I would assume the conservatives would want.
00:46:23.000 I really wanted to hold her accountable for some of the language she's used because I'm pretty sure you describe transgender people as drag queens or sexual predators trying to get closer to their victims.
00:46:32.000 You know, and I want to talk about that.
00:46:34.000 She said there's a risk of that.
00:46:35.000 There are individuals, sick individuals, that are going to take advantage of someone and then they're going to use the guise of being transgender to do it.
00:46:43.000 That's an adopted Indian kid.
00:46:46.000 And by the way, that is a common thing where when people are confronted with the risk of sexual predators going into bathrooms, the people on the side of the bathroom thing always go, there has never been a recorded case of this happening.
00:46:59.000 I looked it up.
00:46:59.000 It's happened dozens and dozens of times at Target alone.
00:47:03.000 This past week it happened.
00:47:05.000 Target decided they were going to have trans bathrooms, and they had 10 cases this year of people doing making indecent proposals in the bathroom.
00:47:20.000 Indecent proposals in the bathroom.
00:47:22.000 A Gavin McKinna story.
00:47:26.000 Maybe we have glue in here.
00:47:28.000 Glue.
00:47:31.000 Look, I have my secret coin that proves I'm a member of Harvard Lampoon.
00:47:36.000 That's how little I give a shit.
00:47:40.000 All right.
00:47:42.000 So go back to that jazz thing.
00:47:43.000 She's being wheeled into the doohickey.
00:47:46.000 Aye.
00:47:52.000 And it's perineum that requires daily painful dilation to prevent closure.
00:47:58.000 The genital surgery resulted in serious complications that required Jazz to undergo a second surgical procedure.
00:48:06.000 Can you just pause it here for a second?
00:48:08.000 I've been following Jazz Jennings quite a bit.
00:48:11.000 It's my new favorite show.
00:48:14.000 She has had four operations in total.
00:48:18.000 So that video that she's talking about was only when Jazz was returning the second time, which was the tip of the iceberg.
00:48:26.000 Frick.
00:48:30.000 Look at the pain that boy is in.
00:48:36.000 How has our culture come to see the suffering of a child and his exploitation as entertainment?
00:48:44.000 You got me.
00:48:45.000 That's dark.
00:48:46.000 But what?
00:48:47.000 Oh, that was the end of the video, but it cuts off.
00:48:50.000 Oh, I see.
00:48:50.000 There's another video of hers that I sent you.
00:49:03.000 This is so true.
00:49:04.000 When people publish retractions in the newspaper, you go, yeah, everyone's, 99% of the people who are ever going to see this article have already saw it.
00:49:12.000 Thank you.
00:49:13.000 Thank you.
00:49:20.000 Mainstream media, the medical community, and even lawmakers are not only complicit with, but actually celebrating the psychological, physical, and sexual trauma being inflicted on children.
00:49:35.000 Gifted with her after effects, is she?
00:49:38.000 Transgenderism.
00:49:41.000 There is no better example of the TLC program.
00:49:45.000 I am Jazz.
00:49:48.000 The show began when Jazz Jennings was entering.
00:49:50.000 Wait a minute.
00:49:51.000 Is that the baby that I sent you 18 years ago?
00:49:54.000 What did you do?
00:49:55.000 What have you done to my little boy?
00:49:58.000 I thought it was the land of the free and there were streets paved with gold, buddy.
00:50:02.000 Would you take on a dark magic carpet ride?
00:50:05.000 I saw him with misshapen tits crying in pain as you shoved a dildo in a man-made hole.
00:50:11.000 What the fuck?
00:50:14.000 Only identifying as transgender.
00:50:17.000 But jazz had been exploited long before that show was on the air.
00:50:22.000 Barbara Walters interviewed jazz at 11 years of age, inadvertently revealing the destructive ideology that puts healthy children on a path of permanent sterilization and an irreversible medically induced disorder of sex development.
00:50:37.000 This ideology teaches that girl brains can exist in male bodies and that a child can be born a boy but become a girl.
00:50:45.000 Sounds simple.
00:50:45.000 Sounds nice.
00:50:46.000 Jazz has always been a little bit of a distance.
00:50:47.000 I told you, I heard Howard Stern saying that it's important to get them on the hormones early.
00:50:52.000 You're not going to be able to look it up.
00:50:54.000 Because they look better when it's time for their sexual assignment resurgery.
00:51:00.000 They look better when they've been on hormones throughout puberty.
00:51:04.000 Or else it's too big of a cock that you got to cut off.
00:51:07.000 Cack.
00:51:08.000 Cack.
00:51:10.000 My God.
00:51:10.000 If they cut my cock off, they would have to wheel in a dump truck to take away the biohazard.
00:51:18.000 They'd actually just better call the zoo.
00:51:20.000 And whoever deals with pythons over there would have to come over and just try to wrangle the flesh.
00:51:28.000 Oh my God, there's that little boy.
00:51:30.000 And wear pretty clothes like what he saw girls wearing and play with toys that he saw girls playing with.
00:51:36.000 Cut his dick off.
00:51:37.000 Was led to believe that in order to do that, he had to be a girl.
00:51:42.000 And so he was diagnosed with gender dysphoria around age three or four.
00:51:46.000 What?
00:51:47.000 Oh my God, he looks like my little boy.
00:51:52.000 His determination at the time was heartbreaking.
00:51:55.000 Like he was for a child to say, mommy, what am I?
00:51:59.000 Um, and look up you lost.
00:52:03.000 Three or four?
00:52:04.000 They made him a girl?
00:52:05.000 Jazz began to I can handle that kids are gay, but uh then just have a gay kid who plays with Barbies.
00:52:15.000 You don't have to cut his cock off.
00:52:17.000 That sounds like a barbaric punishment.
00:52:20.000 Like some sort of weird Middle Eastern punishment.
00:52:20.000 Right.
00:52:22.000 Wait, go back to the video.
00:52:23.000 It was done.
00:52:24.000 Oh.
00:52:25.000 But I do have access to all of the episodes due to my logging in of a thing.
00:52:31.000 It's pretty low res.
00:52:33.000 It's getting better.
00:52:34.000 What's up?
00:52:35.000 Oh my God, we match.
00:52:36.000 I do.
00:52:38.000 Casey has been my girl for so long now.
00:52:41.000 I just feel like we always understand each other and are on the same page.
00:52:44.000 Did you hear that?
00:52:46.000 Casey has been a girl for so long now.
00:52:51.000 That's her friend.
00:52:51.000 I thought you said my girl.
00:52:53.000 No.
00:52:54.000 Oh, did she?
00:52:55.000 Down there.
00:52:56.000 The number one problem that needs to be resolved with this surgery is my clitoris is a couple inches too high right now.
00:52:56.000 I don't know that.
00:53:02.000 It's like I'm taking a belly button.
00:53:03.000 Don't you get that feeling laugh?
00:53:06.000 You know when your clitoris starts to bleed and puss?
00:53:09.000 She's like, no, my girl, I can relate.
00:53:11.000 Oh, God.
00:53:12.000 You know when your clitoris is two inches too high?
00:53:14.000 The clitoris that man made you?
00:53:18.000 Okay, maybe not that extreme, not that extreme.
00:53:20.000 Oh, my God.
00:53:20.000 But it's a little high up.
00:53:23.000 So they have to bring that down.
00:53:24.000 Which we learned from our CGI videos a penis head.
00:53:28.000 Right.
00:53:28.000 A maimed penis head that they poke through a hole that they made.
00:53:33.000 They make a hole, cut the edge of your bell end off, and then pull it through the hole.
00:53:38.000 It doesn't look great.
00:53:39.000 I don't know what's going on.
00:53:41.000 ...of my vulva, build a labia minora and a labia majora.
00:53:46.000 They're just going to fix everything, honestly.
00:53:49.000 Hearing all these explicit details about Jazz's vagina right now is a little bit alarming.
00:53:54.000 Yeah.
00:53:55.000 I think that the surgeons are called your natural instincts kicking in, my dear.
00:54:00.000 She's canceled.
00:54:02.000 Yeah, she lost her job for that transphobic comment.
00:54:05.000 I wanted it to be like a one and done procedure, and I've had two surgeries already, and this is going to be the third, but I'm accepting that.
00:54:12.000 She's had four.
00:54:14.000 Just girls talking about girls.
00:54:16.000 Just gals, just talking shit.
00:54:19.000 The left really hates kids.
00:54:21.000 This is one last story I'll send you.
00:54:23.000 One, two.
00:54:26.000 These Swedish kids, non-Muslim school forces nine-year-olds to pledge allegiance to Allah.
00:54:30.000 And write, I belong to Islam.
00:54:32.000 And then you look at what Tommy Robinson is going through in the UK, where he dares to question Muslim pedophiles.
00:54:38.000 And you think, we're really living in a child abuse zenith right now.
00:54:44.000 All right, let's take some calls early because I always feel like we have to cut out too soon.
00:54:49.000 All right.
00:54:53.000 Look at my hair hanging down there.
00:54:54.000 I'm like Corey Haim.
00:54:56.000 No.
00:54:56.000 What's the other guy, Corey Feldman?
00:54:58.000 Feldman?
00:55:01.000 All right.
00:55:01.000 Entering code.
00:55:02.000 Entering code number two.
00:55:04.000 And we are up in approximately five seconds.
00:55:07.000 I mean, I really wanted my sex change to be a one and done type of thing.
00:55:10.000 I was so happy to get rid of my penis that I had a penis cake party where we all laughed.
00:55:16.000 It's like a tattoo, but it's your penis.
00:55:19.000 I've also seen parties where they celebrate their imminent, what do you call it, when men get their tubes tied?
00:55:25.000 Vasectomy.
00:55:26.000 And they have vasectomy parties with the same kind of cake, a big penis cake being cut.
00:55:30.000 And the man's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, you cut my balls off.
00:55:34.000 That's awesome.
00:55:36.000 We got Daryl.
00:55:38.000 Daryl.
00:55:41.000 I'm here.
00:55:42.000 What's up, D?
00:55:44.000 Hey, guys.
00:55:45.000 Glad I got through.
00:55:47.000 Did you say that you were going to see if that sex change video was on YouTube if you didn't know that?
00:55:54.000 No, I was asking if I can put it up on my YouTube and not get banned.
00:56:01.000 I almost posted it to my Facebook the other day and I started watching it and it's like interactive.
00:56:01.000 Okay.
00:56:09.000 It shows the actual procedure going on.
00:56:13.000 Pretty brutal.
00:56:14.000 Wait, have you not seen the episode where I break it down frame by frame?
00:56:19.000 Yeah, I've seen that, but then I thought I was going to post the same video that you were showing, but the one I tried to post showed him actually cutting somebody's balls open and stuff.
00:56:32.000 Yeah, that's the one I showed.
00:56:34.000 No, no, no, actual footage.
00:56:35.000 Oh, actual footage.
00:56:36.000 Oh, Lord.
00:56:38.000 Yeah, it goes back and forth.
00:56:40.000 So, like, I was really happy I screamed that at first because I almost just posted it immediately.
00:56:46.000 That would have been disastrous.
00:56:47.000 You know, let's cut the shit.
00:56:48.000 You've got to be a little fucked in the head.
00:56:50.000 I don't care if you're a surgeon, if you went to medical school for 12 years.
00:56:53.000 You've got to be a little fucked in the head to sit there cutting up a bag like that, making little shapes.
00:56:58.000 You've got to be a sociopath.
00:57:00.000 There's an art to it.
00:57:01.000 You know, in the 1800s, the guy they would get to saw the leg off during those kind of dismemberings was a bum.
00:57:08.000 They'd get a bum into the medical room, the operating room.
00:57:12.000 They'd give him a bunch of whiskey.
00:57:13.000 He'd saw off a leg.
00:57:15.000 And it was reserved for gross people.
00:57:18.000 I still think that's the way it should be.
00:57:20.000 If you operate on people, you're gross.
00:57:24.000 As I was watching it, too, I was thinking that.
00:57:26.000 I'm like, man, this would be an excruciating experience for me to even try and do on somebody if I knew what I was doing.
00:57:34.000 Yeah.
00:57:35.000 How do you not dry heat?
00:57:39.000 Well, one more thing.
00:57:42.000 I sent you guys a letter about your little photo swaps.
00:57:47.000 It's kind of driving me crazy because I catch them almost every episode, your little superimposures.
00:57:55.000 All right.
00:57:56.000 You sent an email?
00:57:58.000 All right.
00:57:58.000 So maybe we'll read that when we do the mailbag.
00:58:00.000 We don't usually do the mailbag on these shows.
00:58:02.000 Oh, shit.
00:58:03.000 But thank you for calling.
00:58:06.000 But we should have done a mailbag on this show.
00:58:10.000 I fucked up the caller thing.
00:58:11.000 What did you do?
00:58:14.000 Okay, now it's good.
00:58:15.000 Okay, let's get to the next call, please.
00:58:17.000 I don't know how they got there.
00:58:18.000 I guess they already have the numbers.
00:58:22.000 Let's see who wants to fuck us with our heels on.
00:58:26.000 Hello?
00:58:29.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryan.
00:58:31.000 Hey, man.
00:58:33.000 Head PE East Coast started 90s, Punk Ben.
00:58:38.000 They still tour.
00:58:40.000 What's your take on them, if you're familiar with them?
00:58:44.000 Head PE.
00:58:44.000 What are they called?
00:58:46.000 Head PE.
00:58:50.000 Born to Ride.
00:58:53.000 One of their better ones.
00:58:56.000 Bartender.
00:58:59.000 They're like a skatepunk band from the 90s?
00:59:02.000 Yep.
00:59:02.000 Yeah.
00:59:03.000 Hold on, one second.
00:59:04.000 We'll check them out.
00:59:04.000 All right.
00:59:05.000 Thank you for calling.
00:59:06.000 That sounds fun.
00:59:07.000 Let's give her an opinion on a band we've never heard of called Head P.E. That's my fucking way, man.
00:59:12.000 Yeah, fucking dick.
00:59:14.000 Don't fuck with me.
00:59:15.000 Fuck you.
00:59:16.000 Is this a video or just a song?
00:59:18.000 It's the song.
00:59:19.000 I was born to ride, born to survive, I do whatever it takes to get by.
00:59:24.000 Yeah, I love to live, I'm not afraid to die, cause I was born, born, born to ride.
00:59:30.000 I was born to ride, born to survive, I do whatever it takes to get by.
00:59:36.000 Yeah, that's kind of great.
00:59:37.000 You don't have any gum or anything?
00:59:39.000 Have you got a junk drawer?
00:59:40.000 I have gum.
00:59:42.000 You don't have a junk drawer that might have glue in it?
00:59:47.000 No.
00:59:47.000 Tape.
00:59:48.000 I bet you've never had glue in your life.
00:59:50.000 I've had glue.
00:59:51.000 No, you have not.
00:59:52.000 At my grandparents.
00:59:54.000 No, that's their glue.
00:59:55.000 You've never had your own glue.
00:59:57.000 I've had access to glue.
00:59:59.000 Great.
01:00:00.000 We got Dean.
01:00:02.000 Anyway, I didn't finish chastising you earlier.
01:00:04.000 Instead of buying shoes and shoe polish, you should have spent $100 to get a blood test of that same doctor.
01:00:09.000 Found if you still had a fucking crippling disease that can ruin your life.
01:00:13.000 Give me the gum.
01:00:18.000 You know, I don't know if it's worth it to do the gum.
01:00:24.000 Oh, okay.
01:00:26.000 Hello, I'm Freddie Mercury.
01:00:28.000 And I met Sid Vicious once, and he said, hello, you Simon Vicious.
01:00:32.000 Oh, fuck.
01:00:33.000 By the way, um, Freddie Mercury's...
01:00:33.000 everybody!
01:00:47.000 Like, what are you hoping to gain from Queen?
01:00:49.000 And he goes, to be quite honest with you, my real goal is to bring opera to the masses.
01:00:55.000 And Sid Vicious thought that was ridiculous.
01:00:57.000 So when they were in the same studio, he went, oh, Queen are here.
01:01:01.000 I'm going to go ask him about that opera shot.
01:01:04.000 And so he went to see, he went to Queen's studio, you know, without being invited, and said, hey, Freddie, how's bringing opera to the masses coming along?
01:01:16.000 Fascinating.
01:01:17.000 They're nerds.
01:01:18.000 Queen are nerds.
01:01:20.000 Can you imagine?
01:01:20.000 It was just the whole thing about punk rope and anti-establishment under one roof.
01:01:27.000 Sid came in.
01:01:28.000 All right, we've already talked about this.
01:01:28.000 Sid was.
01:01:30.000 Who's the next call?
01:01:33.000 We still got Dean unmuted.
01:01:36.000 Hey, Dean, say your piece.
01:01:39.000 Hey, guys.
01:01:40.000 Just one quick piece of advice from Gavin, if possible.
01:01:43.000 Good buddy of mine.
01:01:44.000 I'm 23.
01:01:45.000 He's 21.
01:01:46.000 One of those friendships that just kind of develop that I really appreciate.
01:01:52.000 We just have a lot in common.
01:01:53.000 I could talk to him about you and Sam Hyde and all that shit and being on PC and not worry about it with him.
01:02:00.000 Anyway, he's been smoking a lot of weed.
01:02:02.000 He lives with stoners.
01:02:04.000 Call him ask you, like, what do I do?
01:02:11.000 I don't want to drive him away.
01:02:12.000 And he's told me, he's like, bro, I feel like a loser.
01:02:16.000 But I just can't quit.
01:02:18.000 So, I mean, I need advice.
01:02:19.000 I really appreciate it.
01:02:20.000 Oh, he can't quit weed?
01:02:23.000 Yeah, he knows he should, but he's just so, it's all around him all the time.
01:02:28.000 I'll stop over there, and it's just constantly going.
01:02:32.000 I don't smoke.
01:02:33.000 There's so much weed in there that I went in there once and got high just walking in.
01:02:38.000 It's not heroin.
01:02:39.000 Mind your own beeswax.
01:02:41.000 If you've got a good buddy and the only problem.
01:02:43.000 No, I know, but he.
01:02:44.000 Yeah.
01:02:45.000 If you've got a good buddy and the only problem is that he smokes weed, that's nothing.
01:02:51.000 Yeah, good point.
01:02:52.000 I got a buddy that smokes too much weed and I hate that he does it.
01:02:55.000 Yeah, He'll figure it out eventually.
01:03:00.000 If you're in your early 20s, I don't smoke weed at all anymore.
01:03:03.000 I used to love weed.
01:03:04.000 Ooh, my weed.
01:03:06.000 We got Mike.
01:03:08.000 I will say, though, that I had friends like me and Eric DeGras and Steve Durand.
01:03:08.000 Wait a minute.
01:03:13.000 We were best pals in high school and college.
01:03:17.000 And those guys just, after we graduated college, we were bike messengers in Montreal because that's the only job you can do in Montreal if you don't speak perfect French.
01:03:27.000 And I don't know, man, those guys just got so far into weed that they kind of drifted away from me, like we had less in common.
01:03:34.000 And it became a permanent rift in our friendship.
01:03:38.000 I don't think I could have possibly changed that in a million years.
01:03:42.000 What if I held a gun to their head and said, you have to stop smoking weed because I can't relate to you anymore?
01:03:46.000 So let me just re gauge my advice there.
01:03:51.000 A, who cares?
01:03:52.000 If it's not affecting your friendship directly, then it's none of your beeswax.
01:03:55.000 B, just like climate change, even if it was something to do with you, you can't change it.
01:04:00.000 It's beyond you.
01:04:02.000 So this could be the end of your friendship, but there's nothing you can do about it.
01:04:05.000 I have an idea.
01:04:06.000 Or this is one solution, though, that might help.
01:04:09.000 You're going to fart into the microphone.
01:04:12.000 That's not helpful.
01:04:15.000 That's just rude.
01:04:16.000 It would be funny if someone took that clip and they're like, TV host farts on air.
01:04:22.000 It's unmistakable.
01:04:24.000 Listen for it.
01:04:24.000 You'll hear it.
01:04:25.000 I'll play it back for you.
01:04:26.000 So that gum seems to have worked, by the way, on our Gigi Allen doll.
01:04:30.000 Hey, Brian.
01:04:31.000 Everybody?
01:04:32.000 Um, but yeah, I...
01:04:37.000 Challenge him as a man.
01:04:38.000 Be like, let's do some push-ups.
01:04:39.000 Do some push-ups.
01:04:40.000 Go on a hike.
01:04:41.000 And he'll be like, I'm fucking winded, dude.
01:04:43.000 You might not want to ask Ryan Katsu Rivera for advice.
01:04:46.000 He just spent $50 on fucking shoe polish, and he's $12,000 in debt.
01:04:50.000 That was so good.
01:04:50.000 And he's wearing $200 shoes.
01:04:52.000 Next caller, please.
01:04:55.000 We got Michael from Ali.
01:04:58.000 This is Panic Ranch, something.
01:05:01.000 You'll get long.
01:05:01.000 That's LA.
01:05:03.000 LA, not Ali.
01:05:04.000 Oh.
01:05:06.000 Okay.
01:05:08.000 Can you guys hear me?
01:05:09.000 Yep.
01:05:11.000 How are you doing, Gav?
01:05:12.000 How are you doing, Rygay?
01:05:13.000 We're good.
01:05:20.000 There's a show on Netflix, I believe, that's supposed to be called gentrified, but it's Hentified, Peoplefied, like in Spanish.
01:05:29.000 Cringy as shit.
01:05:29.000 I believe, like, Hispanics are the most...
01:05:35.000 I'm trying to go on Netflix.
01:05:38.000 They're the most what Americans?
01:05:41.000 They're the cringiest fucking people you're going to find in America.
01:05:44.000 Really?
01:05:46.000 I take it from your accent you are a member of this group?
01:05:51.000 Yeah, and I don't want to snap and snap my fingers how we do during our slam poetry.
01:05:56.000 But it's real cringy, man.
01:05:58.000 And you got to check it out.
01:06:00.000 And I'm not Mexican asshole.
01:06:01.000 You just got to check it out.
01:06:03.000 And you got to see what I'm talking about.
01:06:05.000 Ryan should know.
01:06:06.000 Half of him should know.
01:06:07.000 What are you?
01:06:08.000 Very bad, man.
01:06:10.000 Half Irish, half Ecuadorian.
01:06:12.000 Oh, that's a weird.
01:06:13.000 Didn't you guys kill Trayvon?
01:06:15.000 Don't you guys eat hamsters and guinea pigs?
01:06:18.000 And wear funny little bowler hats?
01:06:21.000 Just guinea pigs.
01:06:24.000 What do they taste like?
01:06:27.000 Well, I haven't tried one, but my grandma says they're delicious.
01:06:31.000 And is the show all in Spanish?
01:06:35.000 Yeah, it's just based on like LA culture.
01:06:38.000 Like basically whatever type of Hispanic you are, if you're from LA, you're Mexican, right?
01:06:43.000 Yeah.
01:06:43.000 It's all the same shit.
01:06:45.000 So it's just like that whole thing of like they have a scene where it's like the kid, the Hispanic kid that's from here has an A on his report card and he tells his dad and his dad ask him about his report card.
01:06:59.000 He breaks out the tequila and he wants takis and hot Cheetos and he starts dancing and screaming Mexican screams.
01:07:06.000 And it's just so cringe and it's fucking embarrassing.
01:07:09.000 You guys just need to check it out if you want your daily cancer.
01:07:12.000 It's a great show.
01:07:13.000 All right, let's get cancerous.
01:07:15.000 Thanks for calling.
01:07:16.000 Let's watch this Mexican show now.
01:07:20.000 Everybody.
01:07:20.000 Ryan?
01:07:22.000 Everybody?
01:07:25.000 I'm going to put Jijalen back so his legs can, gum can solidify.
01:07:35.000 Boppy.
01:07:36.000 Boppy, why are you snoring?
01:07:39.000 Janita beanbang.
01:07:41.000 Meet up.
01:07:42.000 Mira.
01:07:48.000 I can't find the report card scene.
01:07:52.000 Wait, is this it?
01:07:53.000 Wait, this might be good.
01:07:54.000 No, let it go.
01:07:55.000 Curonari.
01:07:56.000 Curonari thing.
01:07:57.000 I can go back.
01:08:00.000 For the kids, huh?
01:08:03.000 I'll tell them El Tio Eric se los Mando.
01:08:08.000 I mean, they love El Tio Eric.
01:08:10.000 Siper Medicine.
01:08:11.000 Papa, when I grow up, I want to be El Comal Tio Eric.
01:08:13.000 Com Altio Eric.
01:08:15.000 Will you just let me get this out, please?
01:08:17.000 Okay, this is gonna be good.
01:08:18.000 Kill me and this Collins sign.
01:08:20.000 You know, times are rough, compa.
01:08:22.000 No.
01:08:24.000 What are you doing?
01:08:25.000 Jio, we're letting you go.
01:08:26.000 Go where?
01:08:30.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:08:31.000 Wait.
01:08:33.000 Am I fired?
01:08:34.000 It's just.
01:08:34.000 I'm sorry, Gio.
01:08:35.000 There are enough cuts to make, bro.
01:08:37.000 Something's gotta give.
01:08:38.000 Homebreak.
01:08:39.000 Cut my hours.
01:08:40.000 You know, to fire me?
01:08:41.000 A seamo mask?
01:08:42.000 No, and I told you last week that I have gout in my big toe.
01:08:45.000 Have you seen me live?
01:08:46.000 Yes, I know.
01:08:46.000 I've seen you live.
01:08:47.000 And I got a baby on the wake up, bro.
01:08:49.000 We all got a family to take care of.
01:08:53.000 You're fired, Gio.
01:08:56.000 What about some music here?
01:08:57.000 Dong, dong.
01:08:59.000 I kind of appreciate the no music, but because there could be an audience or music.
01:09:03.000 This reminds me of Canadian TV or Indian TV.
01:09:07.000 We had a show up in Canada about Indians called North of 60.
01:09:12.000 That was real good.
01:09:13.000 I was addicted to that show, but it was the same kind of corny soap opera.
01:09:17.000 We're just talking.
01:09:19.000 All right, go wash up, baby girl.
01:09:20.000 What I appreciate about the no music is the opposite of what How they always had that funky, funny music?
01:09:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:09:28.000 It's like, trust me, guys, this is funny.
01:09:31.000 You know, I will say a thing about Indians is they have a pretty sophisticated sense of humor.
01:09:36.000 Yeah.
01:09:37.000 Even their corniest stuff is not really that cringe.
01:09:40.000 They know it's corny almost.
01:09:42.000 They have a...
01:09:46.000 Alex Jones?
01:09:48.000 Hey, guys, what's going on, Gavin?
01:09:50.000 Hey, Ryga.
01:09:51.000 It's Alex Jones.
01:09:51.000 How are you guys doing?
01:09:52.000 What's up, Alex?
01:09:53.000 Hi, Alex Jones.
01:09:55.000 You sound just like Alex Jones.
01:09:58.000 Well, this is him.
01:09:59.000 I'm indeed Alex Jones and not a black guy.
01:10:01.000 I'm just calling to see if you heard about the councilman from the Bronx who's being investigated for stealing almost $2 million.
01:10:07.000 Supposedly, he's been using his Albanian goons as muscle to get his constituents to vote for him.
01:10:14.000 And if they don't, they'll be either evicted or they'll get the shit kicked out of them.
01:10:18.000 I just wanted to know his name is Mark Joni.
01:10:20.000 I think he's from either the 13th or 15th congressional district here in the Bronx.
01:10:24.000 Just wanted to know if you guys knew about that.
01:10:25.000 Like more than a friend.
01:10:27.000 Peace out.
01:10:28.000 Cool.
01:10:28.000 Thanks for calling.
01:10:29.000 That was the worst Alex Jones I've ever heard.
01:10:32.000 And that's the easiest imitation to do.
01:10:33.000 It could be the 12.
01:10:34.000 I'm not bragging.
01:10:35.000 I'm not bragging.
01:10:37.000 That's interesting, though.
01:10:39.000 Fucking Armenians are criminals.
01:10:41.000 I was at a steakhouse, and this Armenian guy came in screaming about people parking at his, he owns a mechanic's garage next to the restaurant.
01:10:55.000 Oh, doesn't he look corrupt?
01:10:57.000 No, me?
01:11:02.000 And he was screaming, people are parking in front of my place.
01:11:06.000 I've had enough.
01:11:06.000 And then the waiters grabbed him, grabbed him by the neck, and he was knocking over stuff, and they ripped him out of there, and they threw him away.
01:11:15.000 That was set up?
01:11:16.000 Well, the waiters were all Armenian.
01:11:19.000 And if you park at the mechanics, you don't pay for the valet parking at the steakhouse.
01:11:24.000 So there's an incentive there for someone to come in.
01:11:26.000 They ended up calling the cops, which confused me, because that's a real commitment to a bit.
01:11:30.000 But he had been long gone at that point.
01:11:32.000 Give a description.
01:11:32.000 What are they going to do?
01:11:33.000 But if you know that there's no crime being committed, there was no crime.
01:11:36.000 He was just kind of being yeah, I guess it was yelling in a restaurant, is the crime.
01:11:40.000 So, yeah, it was totally fake.
01:11:42.000 This is the problem with a lot of these immigrants we bring in here.
01:11:44.000 They come from places where corruption and lies is normal, and then we just assume they're like us and they don't have fake panic attacks at restaurants to encourage valet parking.
01:11:55.000 That's how guys talk to one another.
01:12:00.000 All right, we got Brian.
01:12:03.000 Hello.
01:12:04.000 Hey, guys.
01:12:05.000 Hey, man.
01:12:06.000 Hey.
01:12:07.000 All right.
01:12:08.000 First of all, Gavin, you got to cut the shit out about long hair.
01:12:11.000 Long hair is great.
01:12:12.000 You know, you could wear it.
01:12:13.000 Maybe man buns are gay, but ponytails, you know, letting long hair fall down.
01:12:19.000 The chicks love it.
01:12:20.000 You know, I was able to.
01:12:21.000 Listen to yourself.
01:12:23.000 Long hair, letting it hang down.
01:12:25.000 You're bragging about ponytails.
01:12:27.000 Listen to yourself.
01:12:31.000 You know, you've got to deal with it.
01:12:33.000 How is this any different from your gay ass mustache?
01:12:36.000 Well, my mustache is here because I have a beard hiding my weak chin.
01:12:39.000 And so I grow a mustache out so I just don't have a boring beard.
01:12:42.000 But it's all about necessity.
01:12:44.000 Long hair is superfluous.
01:12:47.000 And if you're putting it in a ponytail.
01:12:48.000 The mustache is definitely superfluous.
01:12:50.000 You don't need that curly shit on there.
01:12:53.000 Yeah, that's a valid point.
01:12:54.000 But we're talking about maybe a half inch of curl.
01:12:57.000 Long hair comes down like a foot.
01:13:02.000 Well, not necessarily.
01:13:03.000 I guess there's a range of long hair.
01:13:05.000 I mean, once you're past the shoulder blades, it's starting to get kind of into cringe level.
01:13:09.000 But I mean, I think there's room to move with it.
01:13:13.000 But that's not even the point.
01:13:14.000 I'm going to move past this because what I really wanted to tell you about is your theory about trans being mentally ill gays is spot on, except you got to go one step further.
01:13:22.000 Gays are mentally ill straights.
01:13:24.000 I know this is kind of controversial, but you have to check out this book called My Genes Made Me Do It by, I think his name's Brian Whitehead.
01:13:34.000 He's a New Zealand scientist, went through 10,000 different scholarly articles and studies on homosexuality and same-sex attraction.
01:13:41.000 And he's basically determined that sexuality, or at least sexual orientation, is mostly based off of nurture rather than nature.
01:13:56.000 And there's a huge, a lot of the big correlation is people who are either molested when they're young, had a traumatic divorce, had something kind of weird happen where their male role models got ruined, people who have fathers who die in some cases.
01:14:10.000 It's a big old crazy mess.
01:14:14.000 I think that's more true of lesbians than gays.
01:14:18.000 You hear lesbians got fucked by their dad or something, but I don't know if I'm prepared to swallow the entire load of gays being nurture.
01:14:30.000 I mean, just try it.
01:14:31.000 Like, go look it up.
01:14:32.000 Go suck a dick and get back to me.
01:14:35.000 That's true.
01:14:36.000 Well, it's not about that.
01:14:37.000 I'm not saying it's a choice.
01:14:38.000 I mean, it's more of a psychological thing that happens when you're That's true.
01:14:48.000 And apparently when you're still developing and you have some sort of sexual thing.
01:14:53.000 I mean, even like Milo mentioned, he was molested at camp.
01:14:56.000 I mean, I'm curious.
01:14:57.000 Maybe he is retroactively saying that it's not.
01:15:00.000 No, but here's the problem, my friend.
01:15:02.000 He was okay with it.
01:15:03.000 Here's the problem.
01:15:04.000 Sexual predators tend to take these jobs like camp counselor and priest.
01:15:09.000 Now they're out there surveying their lair.
01:15:12.000 The wolf is looking at the sheep.
01:15:14.000 He's going to go for the pink sheep.
01:15:16.000 He's going to go for the sheep that may already have gay tendencies because that's the easiest prey and the less likely to snitch.
01:15:23.000 So maybe the kids that get hit on are disproportionately already gay.
01:15:30.000 Why are you gay?
01:15:32.000 I mean, I guess if you're going with that argument, but I mean, there's the aspect of another thing they talk about in the book is effeminacy is another pointer to people being more likely to be gay.
01:15:42.000 But there's lots of people who are very effeminate and they've never been pushed into being gay.
01:15:46.000 My wife actually went to college with somebody who had like the lisp.
01:15:50.000 He wanted to be a hairdresser, but he was totally straight as an arrow.
01:15:50.000 He had the high voice.
01:15:54.000 Yeah, his name was Ketsu.
01:15:56.000 I think there's a little bit of a...
01:15:58.000 His name was Ryan Katsu-Rivera.
01:16:02.000 Why are you gay?
01:16:04.000 But I think the point is that there's a lot more that's not being explored currently.
01:16:10.000 I mean, even there was like a Harvard study that found recently, like six months ago, that found that environmental factors have a much higher amount relating or causing same-sex attraction than we'd expected.
01:16:24.000 Okay, well, thanks for calling.
01:16:26.000 We'll definitely look into it.
01:16:27.000 I guess I'm open to that.
01:16:28.000 Just my experience has been that in the whole nature-nurture debate, it's 95-5.
01:16:34.000 Maybe God doesn't make gay.
01:16:38.000 95% nature, 5% nurture.
01:16:42.000 All right, next call.
01:16:43.000 Dominic.
01:16:47.000 Hello?
01:16:48.000 Hey.
01:16:50.000 Hey, what's going on?
01:16:53.000 Since you guys did the video on the journalism advice, I was wondering if you had any advice for business majors.
01:16:58.000 I'm a sophomore in college.
01:17:00.000 It's just fucking homework is fucking bullshit.
01:17:04.000 So just have any, do you have any advice for business majors?
01:17:07.000 I have tons of advice.
01:17:08.000 Drop out.
01:17:10.000 You cannot learn business in college.
01:17:13.000 Nobody there knows what they're doing.
01:17:15.000 If you can't do, teach.
01:17:17.000 Those teachers all can't do.
01:17:20.000 And so you need, I remember when I started Vice, it was normal to make a business plan of five to ten years.
01:17:27.000 And then in the mid to late 90s, it went down to five years.
01:17:31.000 Then after Amazon and the dot-com boom of 2000 changed everything, business plans were two years.
01:17:38.000 Today, no one wants to see a business plan that's even a year long.
01:17:43.000 So if you can't make a two-year business plan, you can't make a one-year business plan, what the fuck are you going to learn in school?
01:17:50.000 Just leave.
01:17:51.000 Just go somewhere else.
01:17:52.000 What are you doing?
01:17:54.000 I thought it was shorter.
01:17:55.000 Just leave.
01:17:56.000 People are teaching you are years and years Behind.
01:18:00.000 You want to learn about business?
01:18:02.000 Intern, intern for startups, intern in Wall Street, the finance world.
01:18:08.000 Work with brokerage firms.
01:18:10.000 That's going to tell you a lot more modern news.
01:18:13.000 And business changes, especially in this day and age.
01:18:16.000 The economy, the business world is changing on a dime every second this past week has been a 90 degree turn.
01:18:25.000 So to sit there in class and read books about the economy seems really fucking retarded to me, especially in the big tech world.
01:18:33.000 So my advice to you, sir, is drop the fuck out.
01:18:39.000 Thank you so much.
01:18:39.000 All right.
01:18:40.000 I've been loving your content forever.
01:18:42.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.
01:18:43.000 Right.
01:18:47.000 What did he say at the end?
01:18:49.000 He said he would like to have sex with me while wearing women's stilettos.
01:18:53.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
01:18:56.000 I don't wanna ride anything down.
01:18:59.000 Amy.
01:19:03.000 Amy.
01:19:04.000 Hey, y'all.
01:19:04.000 I'm calling you.
01:19:05.000 Hello.
01:19:06.000 Hello.
01:19:06.000 Hi.
01:19:08.000 Hey, how's it going?
01:19:09.000 Love the show.
01:19:10.000 Thanks.
01:19:12.000 Yeah.
01:19:13.000 So if Ryan checks his Instagram, he'll find a picture of a school bus here in Austin, Texas with the gay pride flag posted on the side.
01:19:24.000 Pretty perfect.
01:19:25.000 It's really interesting just going on the notion of sexualizing children.
01:19:32.000 It says safe, supported, and inclusive on the side.
01:19:37.000 We thought that this was just more of like a California thing or an East Coast thing, but yeah.
01:19:43.000 It kind of relates to that last caller in that he's taking business in college and business has changed on a yearly basis, so he's learning ancient Chinese secrets.
01:19:54.000 But with sexuality, yes, gay kids did get bullied in the 50s and 60s and even the 70s.
01:20:03.000 They got bullied.
01:20:04.000 And it would be nice for one of those gay kids back in 1972 to be in a rainbow bus where he wasn't a loser for once and people didn't want to beat the shit out of him.
01:20:15.000 However, in 2020, the pendulum has swung the other way and now it's uncool to be straight.
01:20:23.000 So to have drag queen story hour and rainbow buses, they're all totally redundant.
01:20:28.000 They're talking about an America that died decades ago.
01:20:34.000 And it just goes on the notion of, you know, I definitely think some people are definitely born gay, but, you know, how much of our culture, our societal culture is influencing people's sexuality.
01:20:34.000 Right.
01:20:48.000 Yeah, and making them take hormones.
01:20:50.000 I mean, we just watched Jazz Jennings crying her eyes out in a wheelchair with lopsided tits, heading back to the hospital again because the giant bullet hole, the giant war wound, the giant grenade in her crotch isn't healing properly.
01:21:10.000 How do you think, just as a parent, I don't have, my husband and I don't have kids yet, but just as a parent, because these are things I worry about as a future mother, but how do you think that we can combat or counteract these kinds of things?
01:21:24.000 Of course, we want to make our children feel safe, but we don't need to sexualize young kids getting on a school bus in kindergarten.
01:21:32.000 Well, Michelle Malkin said to me today that that ship has sailed, and the only thing you can do is homeschool because the progressive left has taken over the educational world entirely and they're brainwashing our kids.
01:21:46.000 I don't have time for that, and I think homeschooling might hurt my relationship with my kids.
01:21:50.000 So what I do is I try to deprogram them when they get home and just sort of unwind all the shit that gets stuffed in there because it is relentless.
01:22:00.000 But I think the important thing as a parent is just to always be there for your kids, explaining that, you know, at church today when they said that a gun killed Martin Luther King, they weren't telling you the whole story.
01:22:11.000 Martin Luther King loved guns, blah, blah, blah.
01:22:13.000 You know, constantly updating them on the truth.
01:22:19.000 All right, cool.
01:22:20.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:22:20.000 All right.
01:22:22.000 Thanks for calling.
01:22:23.000 Yeah, one more thing.
01:22:24.000 My husband.
01:22:25.000 Rate my wife, dude.
01:22:27.000 Check Ryan's Instagram.
01:22:28.000 Thanks.
01:22:30.000 Okay.
01:22:31.000 Hey, callers.
01:22:32.000 This has happened twice now.
01:22:32.000 Bye.
01:22:34.000 The word, you know how 15 sounds like 50?
01:22:37.000 And you got to really clarify?
01:22:38.000 Rate sounds a hell of a lot like rape.
01:22:41.000 Yeah, why would we rate her?
01:22:43.000 So when you say rate my wife, I often hear rape.
01:22:47.000 No, he did say rape.
01:22:48.000 No, he didn't.
01:22:49.000 Yes, he did, dude.
01:22:51.000 Would it make sense for us to just sit here and say, oh, she's a five out of 10?
01:22:54.000 Or would it make more sense to rape?
01:22:58.000 Okay.
01:22:59.000 Wow, you're really good at logic, right?
01:23:00.000 I have headphones on.
01:23:01.000 I could hear it clearly.
01:23:02.000 I guess we'll break the travel embargo and head down to Austin and risk going to jail for 20 years.
01:23:09.000 He sent pictures of her.
01:23:12.000 It's kind of weird to say rate your wife.
01:23:12.000 Yes.
01:23:14.000 I would hate that.
01:23:15.000 That would never do.
01:23:16.000 I guess when you love your wife, you don't give a shit what people say.
01:23:19.000 Maybe.
01:23:20.000 So have you got a picture?
01:23:21.000 Well, those are some bazooms.
01:23:25.000 That's a boner sound.
01:23:28.000 I mean, that's hard to say in that picture, right?
01:23:31.000 Obviously, the tits are skewing her number high.
01:23:34.000 That looks like a solid 7.
01:23:36.000 Wow.
01:23:37.000 8.9?
01:23:38.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:23:40.000 High sevens for sure.
01:23:41.000 High, high sevens.
01:23:44.000 I can't see the face, though.
01:23:44.000 Eight territory.
01:23:45.000 Is there another picture?
01:23:48.000 All right.
01:23:49.000 There is not.
01:23:50.000 That is the only picture.
01:23:52.000 Why are you eight?
01:23:56.000 You know what we used to do, by the way?
01:23:57.000 This is a great way to pick up chicks.
01:24:00.000 Me and my buddy Derek, when we saw a beautiful woman, we would pretend that we were having a heart attack.
01:24:06.000 And so we would see her and go, oh my God.
01:24:10.000 And then the other guy would get mad at her.
01:24:13.000 So the other guy would be holding his friend up, going, you see what you did here?
01:24:16.000 Could you be a little less attractive, please?
01:24:18.000 My God.
01:24:20.000 He's got eyeballs, you know?
01:24:22.000 They always giggle.
01:24:23.000 That's hilarious.
01:24:24.000 And you, the Lower East Side, back in the early aughts where I lived in New York City, it was like a little community.
01:24:31.000 And there was Max Fish was the main bar, and there was 3A and Manitoba's and 2A and Lucy's and Doc Holidays.
01:24:42.000 Anyway, there was like sort of nice Gallettis.
01:24:44.000 There was like 10 bars we all frequented.
01:24:46.000 So you put out your business card like that with that kind of joke.
01:24:50.000 And they come back around.
01:24:51.000 And she sees you now at the bar, like could be two days later.
01:24:55.000 And you're like, oh my God, it's her again.
01:24:57.000 Ma'am, I think it'd be time for an apology right now.
01:25:03.000 My friend is still recovering.
01:25:05.000 He has cataracts now.
01:25:07.000 It feels like that little area kind of feels like a big house, a big outdoor house where each store is like its own little apartment because all the streets are all small.
01:25:15.000 Yeah, it is a little, it's almost like it's the East Village.
01:25:20.000 But I should also say, while I'm giving advice, I'm talking about me 20 years ago, and I did dip my toes back in the water, as I told you, and it was the most embarrassing thing you could imagine.
01:25:32.000 How do you get an alligator to not bite you when you dip your toes in the water?
01:25:36.000 So I'm just sort of telling, like, imagine a geriatric who was in the MLB, who's like 90 now, and was like, I was throwing a fastball at 90 miles an hour was a slow day.
01:25:49.000 I'd be disappointed with 90.
01:25:51.000 100 was my median.
01:25:54.000 48, 45, 100.
01:25:57.000 By the way, viewers have been sending us examples of people saying 40, 45, 45.
01:26:02.000 Yes.
01:26:03.000 There's thousands.
01:26:04.000 And it's very.
01:26:05.000 There's about 40.
01:26:07.000 45, 40, 45 examples.
01:26:09.000 Yeah, there's about 40.
01:26:10.000 48, 45, 45, 40, maybe, 40, 45.
01:26:13.000 All right, next call.
01:26:14.000 All right.
01:26:15.000 Kristen, girl, you are on the show.
01:26:20.000 Girl.
01:26:21.000 Oh, thanks a lot, Ryan.
01:26:22.000 Your name is John, isn't it?
01:26:26.000 Only between your legs.
01:26:27.000 Gotcha.
01:26:29.000 Let's talk.
01:26:30.000 Perfect.
01:26:31.000 Let's talk.
01:26:32.000 Hey, so anyway, you were talking last week at CPAC, and you wanted to know who the little troll was that was walking around the little beret.
01:26:43.000 Did I?
01:26:44.000 You got it?
01:26:46.000 Ryan.
01:26:46.000 Who's a big?
01:26:47.000 Beret?
01:26:47.000 Yeah, when big...
01:26:54.000 Anyway, her name's Molly Jung Fast.
01:26:58.000 And she hangs out with this guy, Michelangelo Signorali.
01:27:02.000 I was wondering if you know anything about this guy.
01:27:05.000 Oh, Molly Jung Fast.
01:27:08.000 She's that.
01:27:09.000 She's obsessed with Proud Boys.
01:27:11.000 She was with Jared Holt.
01:27:13.000 She was with Jared Holt.
01:27:14.000 She's the one who went whoomput when I asked if he was gay.
01:27:17.000 God, she is an ugly old bag.
01:27:21.000 She's way too.
01:27:22.000 She's got a horrible vocal fry, too.
01:27:25.000 Ech.
01:27:26.000 God, so many of these title tale journalists are really just ugly nerds pell-bent on revenge.
01:27:34.000 Yeah, I definitely know that name.
01:27:37.000 But what was your question?
01:27:40.000 There wasn't a question, but you asked all of us if you could find out who the little troll was that was at CPAC following you around.
01:27:48.000 So I found out for you.
01:27:50.000 Is that Molly Jung?
01:27:50.000 Wait a minute.
01:27:52.000 Molly Jung?
01:27:54.000 Junk fast, yeah.
01:27:55.000 She was wearing beret that day.
01:27:57.000 Wait, that looks different than the girl.
01:28:00.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:28:01.000 There was two of them.
01:28:02.000 This is different than the girl who was next to Jared Holt.
01:28:08.000 Her hair is bright red now.
01:28:11.000 Yeah, that's not the little midget that was next to me and Jared.
01:28:15.000 Hey, guys, this is a clip from Censor.
01:28:17.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.
01:28:18.000 Let's do our own research here.
01:28:19.000 Yeah, that girl right there is not Molly Jong Fast.
01:28:23.000 Go back, go back.
01:28:24.000 Okay.
01:28:25.000 No, that looks like a fat or weird.
01:28:27.000 No, that's a fat old lady.
01:28:29.000 Yeah.
01:28:30.000 Yeah, you're wrong, dude.
01:28:32.000 I like how confident he is, too.
01:28:34.000 Yeah, well, you asked, and I found.
01:28:38.000 So, yeah, that girl, Molly Jong Fast is young.
01:28:43.000 That woman's probably older than me.
01:28:46.000 She's probably 54.
01:28:48.000 I might give her 49.
01:28:49.000 That one right there is like 32.
01:28:51.000 Yeah, that's not her.
01:28:53.000 There was a woman that looked exactly like her.
01:28:56.000 Terrible research.
01:28:57.000 Did you notice that?
01:29:00.000 Look, there's another one.
01:29:02.000 That one to the left without the beret.
01:29:04.000 Look, look, there's one with a beanie, one without any headwear.
01:29:08.000 See, look at those.
01:29:09.000 Oh, the one with the beanies on the left.
01:29:12.000 Well, I obviously can't see anything.
01:29:14.000 That might be Molly Jung Fast right there.
01:29:17.000 Where?
01:29:18.000 The one that the camera's on right now.
01:29:20.000 Because there's two beanie women.
01:29:20.000 No.
01:29:22.000 Look.
01:29:22.000 Oh, I see.
01:29:23.000 See, there's the beanie, and then the other one is Keep going?
01:29:29.000 Sure.
01:29:31.000 I think we do.
01:29:32.000 Here, coming up.
01:29:33.000 It's really hard to get a nice...
01:29:37.000 All right, that is Molly Jungfast.
01:29:39.000 He's right, I'm wrong.
01:29:40.000 But that's not the beret, that's a beanie.
01:29:42.000 You fucking idiot.
01:29:43.000 Is it?
01:29:44.000 Yeah.
01:29:45.000 Yeah, so he confused me because the other one had a genuine beret on.
01:29:48.000 Yeah, this is a non-genuine.
01:29:49.000 Yeah, that's not who I was talking about, sir.
01:29:51.000 I was talking about the one next to Jared Holt, the fat, ugly.
01:29:55.000 Look at those pussies.
01:29:56.000 They don't know where to look.
01:29:57.000 Looks like they get a meal.
01:29:57.000 Let's go.
01:29:59.000 And I like how pencil legs there.
01:30:01.000 What's his name?
01:30:02.000 I don't know.
01:30:03.000 Zach Pizzalati or something from Daily Beast.
01:30:05.000 When I was yelling at Will Summer at first, he stood in front of Will Summer like that and spread his legs.
01:30:10.000 And I go, what is this pencil leg security?
01:30:13.000 And he immediately capitulated and went, yeah, what am I doing?
01:30:15.000 I'm not going to fight him.
01:30:16.000 They don't know how to...
01:30:22.000 That guy's never been in a fight in his life.
01:30:25.000 And Jared Hold has only ever been beat up.
01:30:29.000 Hands in the pockets, hand on the cannon.
01:30:31.000 Look at that.
01:30:32.000 Both hands in the other pockets.
01:30:33.000 Giant cameras.
01:30:34.000 That guy took out his little notebook, body language.
01:30:37.000 Going not so strong.
01:30:41.000 Fun times.
01:30:42.000 Good times.
01:30:43.000 We had a lot of fun, didn't we?
01:30:44.000 I got a lot of subscribers, by the way.
01:30:46.000 Ezra Levant was like, what have you done?
01:30:46.000 Sure.
01:30:48.000 You've been kicked out of a Trump event.
01:30:50.000 Now you're a total pariah.
01:30:51.000 What have you done?
01:30:52.000 You're a total pariah.
01:30:53.000 I got 300 subscribers.
01:30:53.000 I don't know.
01:30:56.000 That's 30 grand.
01:30:58.000 We have a favorite of the show, Jim Fennin.
01:31:03.000 Oh, you may.
01:31:04.000 Favorite.
01:31:05.000 I don't know about favorite, but I love rape your wife.
01:31:09.000 But vocal fry is annoying as fuck, man.
01:31:11.000 But how did it become Let Me Fuck You With Your Hills On?
01:31:15.000 Or I Wanna fuck you?
01:31:16.000 Because the song's let me.
01:31:17.000 Does she ever say I want it in the song?
01:31:19.000 Is that like a beat-me-up scotch?
01:31:21.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on.
01:31:22.000 Yeah, good point.
01:31:23.000 Thank you.
01:31:24.000 Good point.
01:31:26.000 We've mischaracterized it.
01:31:29.000 Your drops have entered my life.
01:31:32.000 Like, why are you gay?
01:31:33.000 I'm saying that all over the place.
01:31:34.000 Like at the cashier checking out, how dear you and Mikey, even the make-em say yes.
01:31:41.000 But, oh, a letter canny drop to for, to be fair, man.
01:31:45.000 I don't know.
01:31:46.000 You guys must not be up in your letter canny because every time you guys say, to be fair, I hear a letter can he drop.
01:31:51.000 I did that Mikey six second clip, just all Mikey, Mikey, Mikey.
01:31:57.000 Less than 10 words, six seconds, demonetized.
01:32:00.000 So none of the Claudia calls are demonetized.
01:32:03.000 So I split one, a Tommy video by them with no description or no tags or anything like that.
01:32:09.000 Obviously, no name.
01:32:10.000 You can't put Tommy Robinson in there.
01:32:12.000 But I put his last update up and it remained monetized.
01:32:16.000 I couldn't believe it.
01:32:17.000 But dude, I posted you dancing around the other night, fat ass, all winded like you smoke a pack a day, and I called it, I'm gay for Gavin.
01:32:26.000 Here's why.
01:32:27.000 And I'll tell you straight up, man.
01:32:29.000 If I was gay, I'd totally, totally not be into you.
01:32:32.000 I'm more of like a Bert Kreischer kind of guy, I think, you know, like funny, authentically sweet.
01:32:38.000 How's it going with your fiancé?
01:32:41.000 Aren't you getting married?
01:32:42.000 Is that thing still going down?
01:32:45.000 I'm not allowed to talk about it tonight, but who wants a tight boy if you're gay?
01:32:48.000 You want a fat ass that you got easy access to?
01:32:52.000 Wait, you're not allowed to talk about your imminent marriage?
01:32:56.000 Well, what do you want to know?
01:32:58.000 Is it happening?
01:33:01.000 Well, yeah, it's still game's on, brother.
01:33:04.000 Why not?
01:33:05.000 Okay.
01:33:06.000 Do we need a date?
01:33:08.000 Yeah, we're on.
01:33:09.000 I'm going to collect my $100.
01:33:10.000 There's no problem there.
01:33:11.000 And I'm looking forward to a little caller-on-caller action now that you've got some regular people coming in, calling in.
01:33:17.000 I don't know who it was.
01:33:20.000 I'm flaming.
01:33:21.000 Eject.
01:33:22.000 I'm out.
01:33:23.000 Priest, Jim's.
01:33:25.000 What was that ending?
01:33:26.000 I'm flaming.
01:33:27.000 Yeah.
01:33:29.000 When your plane's on fire, you eject or something?
01:33:32.000 Probably that.
01:33:33.000 Oh, okay.
01:33:34.000 So, oh, he posted Burke Rush.
01:33:35.000 Maybe he is.
01:33:36.000 There you go.
01:33:36.000 If I was a little bit of a girl, he was a little bit gay.
01:33:39.000 That's a weird thing to bring up a lot.
01:33:43.000 Yeah, that was a lot.
01:33:44.000 Hey, man, I'm not gay, but those pants are awesome.
01:33:47.000 And then there was a youth.
01:33:48.000 Anyway, not even remotely gay, just to be clear.
01:33:50.000 Right.
01:33:51.000 But, you know, then there's.
01:33:53.000 All right, let's get to the next caller, please.
01:33:54.000 By the way, did I tell you I'm fighting Tommy Robinson?
01:33:57.000 Are you?
01:33:58.000 Yes.
01:33:59.000 What, you give him a little fist-a-cuffs?
01:34:01.000 I'm going to meet him at his gym when we're in Britain.
01:34:04.000 And I go, oh, fuck.
01:34:07.000 I know that.
01:34:08.000 I've heard of that gym.
01:34:09.000 It's a boxing gym in London.
01:34:10.000 And he goes, yeah, I'll go there every time, right?
01:34:12.000 And I go, all right, well, I'll meet you there.
01:34:13.000 And he goes, yeah, let's roll out together.
01:34:15.000 Which is a little gay.
01:34:17.000 Right?
01:34:18.000 Especially boxing.
01:34:19.000 Like, what are we going to hit the same heavy bag?
01:34:21.000 But then I thought, well, let's spar.
01:34:23.000 I'll bring my headgear and everything.
01:34:24.000 Uh-oh.
01:34:25.000 He's like, yeah, it sounds fun.
01:34:27.000 So I'm going to say, don't fucking knock me out and don't break my ribs, but otherwise, let's fucking do this.
01:34:33.000 I told my dad, too, and he goes, not wise.
01:34:39.000 Really?
01:34:40.000 What are you talking about?
01:34:41.000 And he goes, you could get pugilistic dementia.
01:34:44.000 It's very dangerous.
01:34:46.000 I go, Dad, I fight every week.
01:34:48.000 And he goes, oh, that's stupid.
01:34:50.000 That's really dangerous.
01:34:52.000 Do you wear headgear?
01:34:54.000 You go, yeah, of course you wear fucking headgear.
01:34:56.000 What are you talking about?
01:34:57.000 And I'm sniffing gear.
01:34:58.000 Meanwhile, the guy's nose is like this from fights.
01:35:01.000 And he's like, I don't approve.
01:35:03.000 That could do permanent damage.
01:35:06.000 For example, you could have Kerus One's nose.
01:35:09.000 You could end up looking like Lady Saw in a tartan blazer.
01:35:13.000 And I certainly don't want to fuck anyone with my bloody heels on, by the way.
01:35:17.000 Teh fuck.
01:35:19.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
01:35:23.000 I want to ride.
01:35:25.000 I'm going to ride on your dung-dong.
01:35:27.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on.
01:35:29.000 Jesus, let me fuck you with my fucking heels on, by the way.
01:35:33.000 I'm going to fuck you with my heels on, okay?
01:35:36.000 It's going to be great.
01:35:36.000 Nobody fucks you with your heels on like me.
01:35:39.000 Great fuck.
01:35:41.000 When I'm done fucking you, they're going to take you home to mommy.
01:35:46.000 Oh, man, I wish.
01:35:47.000 I have the uncensored thing of him saying fuck, but more importantly, did you see when they kept rolling?
01:35:52.000 After?
01:35:52.000 This is after.
01:35:54.000 Okay.
01:35:54.000 It's just adorable.
01:35:58.000 Did you get that?
01:35:59.000 It's happening.
01:36:00.000 Are we good?
01:36:01.000 No, I'm good.
01:36:04.000 Okay.
01:36:17.000 Well, he had his button done up, which probably wasn't comfortable because he got a pen mark on his shirt, right?
01:36:22.000 Yes.
01:36:25.000 Okay.
01:36:29.000 Let me hear the fuck, though.
01:36:30.000 So, folks at home, you know what he's talking about.
01:36:33.000 He was getting ready to discuss the fucking coronavirus thing, and he touched his shirt.
01:36:40.000 And then he went, oh, fuck, I got a pen mark on my shirt.
01:36:43.000 Does anyone have that white stuff?
01:36:45.000 And then someone else goes, just button.
01:36:46.000 You'd be better off buttoning it up, sir.
01:36:49.000 I want.
01:36:54.000 He is not just the president of the United States.
01:36:57.000 He's the president of the word fuck.
01:36:59.000 I got a pen mark.
01:37:00.000 Uh-oh.
01:37:01.000 I want.
01:37:04.000 I'm on the duty.
01:37:06.000 Uh-oh.
01:37:07.000 I got a pen mark.
01:37:08.000 Anybody have any white, you have any white stuff?
01:37:11.000 Uh-oh.
01:37:12.000 Funniest president ever.
01:37:14.000 But listen to that fuck.
01:37:16.000 Puck.
01:37:16.000 Fuck.
01:37:17.000 Pock.
01:37:19.000 It's like F. It's F air Air Air Air K. There's no other letters.
01:37:28.000 It's F Cloud K. Fucking yeah.
01:37:31.000 F cloud emoji K. Pock.
01:37:35.000 That is the perfect.
01:37:36.000 That's like when you have a parking app and you leave and you go to where you're going and you go, I'll just set up the parking when I get to my location.
01:37:43.000 And then 10 minutes into your location, you realize, I forgot to set up parking.
01:37:46.000 You go, PACK.
01:37:48.000 I forgot to set up parking.
01:37:50.000 You know, I was surprised when I was in Florida.
01:37:52.000 I was trying to work my hotel key and it wasn't working.
01:37:56.000 And to get down to the main desk and get a new key is it's at least another 40 minutes added to your day.
01:38:02.000 20 minutes just to get there.
01:38:04.000 It was a huge hotel in Palm Springs.
01:38:07.000 And it's not working.
01:38:09.000 You're always surprised what your subconscious pulls out when you're genuinely mad.
01:38:13.000 And I caught myself going, fuck me and my fucking ass.
01:38:19.000 I say that all the time.
01:38:21.000 Fuck me and my fucking ass.
01:38:23.000 What was that Jack Black line that he said?
01:38:26.000 He's ordering food?
01:38:27.000 Yeah, it's in the, they're in the drive-through, and he's thinking about what to order.
01:38:30.000 He's like, you want me to, let me just play.
01:38:33.000 I'm going to run.
01:38:34.000 Just do it.
01:38:34.000 No, no, no, no.
01:38:35.000 He's like, I'll take a cherry jubilee because I'm on a diet, but a small.
01:38:40.000 Show yourself.
01:38:40.000 Because I'm trying to lose the weight.
01:38:42.000 Jack Black.
01:38:45.000 And then on the other end, it's like, what else do you want?
01:38:48.000 Don't offer me anything.
01:38:49.000 Fuck my ass.
01:38:50.000 What else?
01:38:52.000 Seasoned curlies.
01:38:54.000 Let me go small.
01:38:55.000 Seasoned curlies.
01:38:56.000 Trying to lose the weight.
01:38:57.000 My Jack Black is...
01:39:01.000 Hello, you don't got it today.
01:39:03.000 But Zach Black is on the line.
01:39:05.000 Zach, victim mentality.
01:39:06.000 Mentality.
01:39:13.000 Alright, so.
01:39:14.000 Do you hear me?
01:39:15.000 Yes.
01:39:18.000 Do you think today's society incentivizes being a victim?
01:39:26.000 Like at my last job, pretty much if you had a major, like, you know, bad quality, it was a good thing.
01:39:35.000 And it like worked in your favor.
01:39:37.000 She could just kind of cry about it and people felt bad for you.
01:39:40.000 So you got the populace on your side.
01:39:43.000 And yeah, you could use that to your advantage.
01:39:45.000 When you say a bad quality, do you mean being black or gay?
01:39:52.000 No, no.
01:39:54.000 These specific examples is being obese.
01:39:58.000 And this one kid was deaf in one ear and he used that like a maestro.
01:40:02.000 He used it very well.
01:40:04.000 Well, the other thing about victimization is it's economically sound.
01:40:10.000 If you are, it looks like you're going to get fired.
01:40:12.000 You tell them you're gay.
01:40:14.000 They're not worried about a lawsuit.
01:40:16.000 They're not worried about HR coming down on you.
01:40:18.000 You made a workplace unsafe for gays or you made a workplace unsafe for fatties or people deaf in one ear.
01:40:24.000 So then other people in the workforce go, that guy's fucking incompetent, but he never gets shit because he's fat and deaf and has a gay boyfriend.
01:40:35.000 You got a straight boy.
01:40:38.000 You just described my thoughts on my last job.
01:40:40.000 It's hilarious.
01:40:43.000 So then people start going, actually, I'm kind of pretty gay.
01:40:46.000 I mean, I don't act on it, but I'm definitely gay.
01:40:49.000 Like in Italy, they have these crazy laws about handicap people, and your workforce has to be 8% severely handicapped.
01:40:57.000 So they had to change the definition of handicapped.
01:41:00.000 And now, like, someone with glasses is handicapped in order to get the numbers up.
01:41:06.000 So the problem with those people, those victim culture people pretending to be something they're not is they have to live with that.
01:41:14.000 So that's why I say get fired, get in trouble, because I don't want to pretend I'm gay just to keep my job.
01:41:21.000 I'd rather just die with my boots on.
01:41:23.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.
01:41:25.000 That's an important message.
01:41:27.000 I remember my brother was going to get fired, and I said, bring in your black friend and say that this is your boyfriend.
01:41:33.000 You're petrified at people finding out because his family's super homophobic.
01:41:36.000 And so he brought it up to his black friend and his black friend goes, I'm not fucking doing that.
01:41:41.000 All right, next call.
01:41:43.000 All righty.
01:41:44.000 We got Mike.
01:41:46.000 Pardon.
01:41:47.000 I'm sorry.
01:41:47.000 Whoops.
01:41:48.000 Quick question.
01:41:49.000 It says, Mike.
01:41:52.000 Yes.
01:41:54.000 Mikey!
01:41:55.000 Hello.
01:41:59.000 Wait, Mike, can I...
01:42:12.000 I think that's a fucking deal.
01:42:16.000 No, not going to work.
01:42:17.000 Come on, man.
01:42:18.000 Mikey!
01:42:20.000 I'm sorry.
01:42:22.000 I'm here to make you say yes.
01:42:24.000 Mikey!
01:42:28.000 How?
01:42:29.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey.
01:42:34.000 Okay, sorry.
01:42:35.000 What's your question?
01:42:36.000 All right.
01:42:37.000 So I was watching the horrifically painful looking penis surgery video earlier this week.
01:42:49.000 Thanks for making me almost pass out.
01:42:56.000 I was thinking, why are they going through all of that shit to make a vagina?
01:43:02.000 I'm assuming you can't use it for sex or anything like that.
01:43:07.000 Oh, yes, you can.
01:43:08.000 Why not just cut your dick?
01:43:09.000 No, you can use it for sex, but there's a million problems with it.
01:43:14.000 One thing that we haven't talked about on the show is that it reeks.
01:43:18.000 It's rotting.
01:43:19.000 It's a sore.
01:43:21.000 So the smell is like poo and pus.
01:43:25.000 It's like a gangrene.
01:43:26.000 It's disgusting.
01:43:27.000 And then there's the hair balls, but it also has no sensation.
01:43:32.000 Like a vagina, for a woman, it feels good to be stimulated on the inside.
01:43:36.000 For a fake vagina, it's just like someone going like that to your shoulder with a dick.
01:43:40.000 You're just like, stop fucking my shoulder.
01:43:43.000 And I've also heard that the penis going in has to be the perfect size.
01:43:49.000 If it's one millimeter too small, it's a wiener in a hallway.
01:43:52.000 And then if it's one millimeter too big, then it's stretching because there's no play with these vaginas.
01:44:01.000 Well, then, so why wouldn't you just cut your dick and balls off, sew it up, get a tattoo of a vagina, and get fucked in the ass like a regular gay person?
01:44:11.000 That ridiculous thing you just said is actually much more rational than that crazy video.
01:44:18.000 But why not just have a dick and balls?
01:44:20.000 Get fucked up the butt.
01:44:21.000 Gays do it.
01:44:22.000 Hello, you've got a bass.
01:44:25.000 Right, right.
01:44:26.000 All right.
01:44:27.000 Well, rape my wife.
01:44:29.000 Goodbye.
01:44:30.000 Okay.
01:44:30.000 Your Honor, I understand that I'm here in court for sexual assault.
01:44:36.000 I have audio of this woman's husband saying, rape my wife.
01:44:43.000 And that's why I did what I did.
01:44:45.000 This is all a huge misunderstanding.
01:44:50.000 I thought when she was screaming, it was a joke.
01:44:55.000 I mean, rape is consensual because he asked.
01:44:57.000 And I thought the screaming was part of the play.
01:45:01.000 Donnie, you're on the line.
01:45:03.000 Thanks for adding an extension to my joke.
01:45:06.000 Donnie.
01:45:07.000 Gavin, hey, Gavin, from earlier in the show, the bass player for Dawkin, Jeff Piltson, is a much hotter woman than Jazz's mom will ever be.
01:45:17.000 You know, when I made that joke, I thought, I wonder what the bass player of Dawkin looks like.
01:45:24.000 I thought you were.
01:45:26.000 Well, just imagine a hotter woman.
01:45:29.000 Well, we're looking at him right now, and I think I'm pretty right, especially if you look at him now.
01:45:33.000 Look at that blue one there.
01:45:36.000 Dude, I nailed him.
01:45:37.000 He's aged.
01:45:38.000 Dude, have you seen him now?
01:45:40.000 He's from his prime.
01:45:41.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:45:42.000 But if you look at him now, it looks exactly like Jazz Jennings' mom.
01:45:46.000 I nailed it, and I didn't even know who he was.
01:45:50.000 You just knew he was like blonde but frizzy haired.
01:45:52.000 I just assumed.
01:45:53.000 What's a Dawkin hit?
01:45:54.000 I don't know Dawkin.
01:45:55.000 What's their biggest hit?
01:45:56.000 Dakin Medicken, Yapina Ski.
01:45:59.000 The one I remember is called Into the Fire.
01:46:03.000 But that's the only one I remember.
01:46:05.000 All right.
01:46:06.000 Well, we'll try to be more accurate with our rock references in the future.
01:46:09.000 Thank you so much for calling.
01:46:12.000 And let's listen to some Dawkins.
01:46:13.000 Let's listen to Into the Fire.
01:46:16.000 Oh, that's live.
01:46:17.000 Here we go.
01:46:17.000 You never saw Dawkin on anyone's vest.
01:46:19.000 You know what I mean?
01:46:21.000 Like on a headbanger.
01:46:22.000 You know, headbangers would have all their thrash metal anthrax and everything.
01:46:25.000 Or wasp.
01:46:26.000 No, you'd see wasp.
01:46:28.000 Why are you saying or wasp?
01:46:31.000 They weren't huge.
01:46:32.000 Fuck like a beast?
01:46:33.000 I saw them in 1984 with Metallica, Armored Saint, and Exciter.
01:46:40.000 I'm into it.
01:46:42.000 I'm not.
01:46:43.000 Bad sign if Brian's into your band.
01:46:47.000 That means you got also likes Sheila E. Sheila E?
01:46:52.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:53.000 Wait, is it a video that this song is playing on?
01:46:56.000 It could be, but I'm trying to line up these two ladies.
01:47:02.000 I nailed it.
01:47:03.000 I'm very proud of myself.
01:47:06.000 For guessing what a bassist looked like.
01:47:08.000 This song reeks.
01:47:10.000 This song smells like Jazz Jennings vagina.
01:47:14.000 The video looks like it.
01:47:17.000 I love this shit.
01:47:18.000 I'm into an opera singer.
01:47:25.000 Hell yeah, dude.
01:47:26.000 You like this?
01:47:27.000 Yeah, a lot.
01:47:29.000 You suck.
01:47:30.000 It's rule.
01:47:32.000 You're such a dork.
01:47:33.000 This is what I'll listen to when I get tired of listening to Rat Round and Round, because I've almost overplayed it.
01:47:38.000 I'll have to stop myself from listening to that song so I don't overplay it.
01:47:41.000 Where are Dawkin from?
01:47:43.000 Hmm.
01:47:43.000 I'm guessing Germany?
01:47:45.000 I hope so, because they sure seem way too uncool.
01:47:49.000 Intu Zefayo Dawkin.
01:47:52.000 They're an American band, yeah.
01:47:55.000 From LA.
01:47:56.000 Wow.
01:47:57.000 Yeah, I've never given LA any credit for anything.
01:48:00.000 Wow.
01:48:01.000 They made a bunch of movies, I understand?
01:48:03.000 But like LA Punk, TSOL, I guess the germs were pretty good, but nowadays the germs are not very good.
01:48:13.000 Hashtag Corona.
01:48:13.000 Steve talking about.
01:48:15.000 question about Larry.
01:48:16.000 Hey, old coot.
01:48:23.000 Hey, T-Money.
01:48:24.000 Hey, hey, I got a Larry Barnes question, but don't worry, it's not a suggestion.
01:48:30.000 I know we're not fucking friends.
01:48:32.000 Jesus Christ.
01:48:33.000 Anyway, my question is this.
01:48:35.000 Have you ever talked to Larry Barnes about fights from history that he thinks the guy actually threw the fight?
01:48:44.000 Like, I was watching the Sphinx fight with Tyson the other day, and it looks like Sphinx threw the fight.
01:48:50.000 So I was wondering if you guys ever talked about that or he had any opinions on that.
01:48:54.000 No, but thank you for your call.
01:48:56.000 I sound like I'm being sarcastic, but that's a really interesting question to bring up with him next show.
01:49:04.000 Because I know his manager was his trainer, and he was a dude who was trying to get in with the mob, and he totally fucked over Larry and took basically all of his money.
01:49:15.000 So he's Larry's well aware of corruption in boxing, and I assume there must have been some people who threw fights.
01:49:22.000 Yeah, it's two people.
01:49:23.000 It's not like a team, like a baseball team throws a game.
01:49:26.000 It's one dude.
01:49:27.000 The problem with throwing a fight, though, is you just fucked your whole career.
01:49:33.000 But here's the thing.
01:49:33.000 It's like, do I want to cash out for guaranteed money, or am I good enough to actually make it and earn money in the future?
01:49:41.000 When do you know that?
01:49:42.000 Like 20 fights in?
01:49:43.000 I think it's a good idea.
01:49:45.000 Say you're 20 and 0 with 18 knockouts and someone goes through a fight.
01:49:50.000 You go, no.
01:49:51.000 I don't want to throw a fucking fight.
01:49:55.000 Is this the fight he's talking about?
01:49:57.000 Yeah.
01:49:59.000 Spinks.
01:50:00.000 And you know a better person to ask that is my coach owner.
01:50:04.000 Here, throw me my phone.
01:50:06.000 My coach owner, my gym owner.
01:50:12.000 He usually gets back here pretty quick.
01:50:13.000 Wearing the solid black trunks and weighing 218.25 pounds, originally from the streets of Brooklyn.
01:50:21.000 Can I take a quick eight?
01:50:23.000 No.
01:50:24.000 What do we do?
01:50:29.000 Jump ahead.
01:50:29.000 Let's see the fake fight.
01:50:30.000 Wait, this is a lot of...
01:50:38.000 ...in the dressing room.
01:50:43.000 Can you think of a famous fight where the boxer gets through the fight?
01:50:49.000 That was a lot of exposition.
01:50:50.000 We got the Olsen twins.
01:50:54.000 What's up, OTs?
01:50:57.000 Hey, how you doing?
01:50:58.000 Davin?
01:50:59.000 I'm good, man.
01:51:01.000 Jersey City right now.
01:51:03.000 Just a quick progressive update here.
01:51:06.000 I went to about three bars this week, and they all have gender neutral bathrooms.
01:51:13.000 What city are you in?
01:51:15.000 Jersey City.
01:51:17.000 Jesus H. Christ.
01:51:18.000 Jersey City's been compromised now?
01:51:22.000 Yes, sir.
01:51:24.000 Just a quick progressive update.
01:51:26.000 What's that cool bar in Jersey City that has live bands and a big outdoor area?
01:51:34.000 I'd say Florida or Ashford.
01:51:37.000 I don't know.
01:51:38.000 You ever hear about that Grove Street?
01:51:40.000 There's a lot of different bars and back bars, and it's pretty popular.
01:51:43.000 Okay.
01:51:44.000 Well, I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
01:51:46.000 That's disappointing.
01:51:48.000 Yeah, just a couple things that I just wrote real quick.
01:51:51.000 So, you know the movie that I guess Hunt the Florbles?
01:51:55.000 And you said it was banned for a little bit, and then it's making theaters.
01:52:01.000 Hunter or The Hunt?
01:52:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:52:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:52:05.000 So do you ever think it'll ever get that bad or but more of a realistic view in society where, you know, maybe even, you know, conservatives aren't allowed or even where there's complete segregation to places and, you know, even like signs out in places where conservatives aren't allowed to be there.
01:52:32.000 Absolutely.
01:52:32.000 We're already there, my friend.
01:52:34.000 We have Enrique Tario, Laura Loomer picked off a Chase bank.
01:52:39.000 Laura Loomer can't use Uber and Lyft.
01:52:42.000 We have conservatives banned from Airbnbs.
01:52:46.000 I can't rent a house in Breezy Point.
01:52:50.000 The list goes on.
01:52:51.000 I'm kicked off of PayPal.
01:52:52.000 I cannot bank.
01:52:54.000 That's definitely already happened.
01:52:56.000 Now, will it get to the point where, you know, it's almost like that movie?
01:52:59.000 No, it won't.
01:53:00.000 But I think that after Trump's election, and he's definitely winning for another four years, the left is going to come back with a vengeance and they're going to want revenge.
01:53:09.000 We've seen that the Bernie bros want to have gulags in re-education camps.
01:53:13.000 So we better have an arc ready after Trump gets out because there's going to be a rain that comes down hard.
01:53:22.000 And we better have something like censored.tv where we're not relying on their approval.
01:53:27.000 Because even censored.tv has been banned in Britain by Virgin as far as providers go and in Australia and New Zealand.
01:53:36.000 It's fucking crazy.
01:53:41.000 Thanks for calling.
01:53:41.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:53:43.000 And I want to make love to you wearing women's shoes.
01:53:46.000 Yes.
01:53:49.000 What are you doing now?
01:53:51.000 Let me fuck you in my body.
01:53:52.000 Stop.
01:53:53.000 I don't want that song in my head anymore.
01:53:55.000 Curtis, doesn't it look cool when I get a haircut and there's bald and then the black rims?
01:54:00.000 Oh, yeah.
01:54:00.000 You got a little space.
01:54:03.000 Curtis McVay.
01:54:05.000 Fucking man.
01:54:07.000 All right.
01:54:08.000 Well, this has been such a gay episode that I thought I wanted to call and give you guys my gay experience.
01:54:14.000 Are you a man or a woman?
01:54:17.000 Okay, I knew that was going to be the first question.
01:54:19.000 I'm a self-loathing gay man.
01:54:22.000 Wow, you sound like a fat chick.
01:54:25.000 I know, and I work at a call center, so imagine what I go through 20 times a day.
01:54:31.000 You sound like the kind of girl that I would end up with at the end of the night because I got kind of lazy.
01:54:36.000 And I'm like, ah, she's fun and we can do shots.
01:54:38.000 And I'll just ignore her giant gunt.
01:54:42.000 Nobody's ever said I sounded like a pretty girl.
01:54:45.000 No, I sound like a fat Debbie.
01:54:47.000 A cool fat chick, though, like a fun fat chick.
01:54:51.000 Yeah, oh, absolutely fun, for sure.
01:54:54.000 But I wanted to call, I wanted to just, the book that that guy called about earlier, I just wanted to concede that, yeah, I could agree.
01:55:01.000 Maybe we are mentally ill straight men.
01:55:04.000 I've never believed once for a second that we were born gay.
01:55:07.000 And I just think that gay people want to have no introspection at all.
01:55:11.000 And what's easier than saying, oh, I was born this way.
01:55:14.000 There's no need to question anything.
01:55:15.000 I just am who I am.
01:55:17.000 Why don't we want to think about it at all and maybe come to some sort of an idea of how we ended up the way we are?
01:55:23.000 Okay, what made you gay then?
01:55:25.000 Why are you gay?
01:55:27.000 I think it's traumatic experienced as a child.
01:55:32.000 I mean, I don't know what mine might have been.
01:55:35.000 Maybe it's something depressed, but I had like sort of an absent father, not a very strong father figure.
01:55:43.000 I was very close to my mom and my older sisters.
01:55:45.000 I really looked up to them more as my role models.
01:55:50.000 So, I mean, I don't know if that's part of it.
01:55:52.000 And maybe there's a little bit of a mixture between nurture and born this way.
01:55:56.000 I don't know.
01:55:57.000 I can see that there's a bit of both at play, but I tend to think it's more nurture.
01:56:02.000 No one had a strong male figure.
01:56:03.000 50% of this country is divorced.
01:56:06.000 There's something wrong with that.
01:56:10.000 So you don't like that theory?
01:56:12.000 The one I'm putting all my money on.
01:56:15.000 No, you were born gay.
01:56:18.000 The fact that you didn't have a dad is perfectly normal.
01:56:21.000 I mean, look at blacks.
01:56:22.000 But a lot of blacks are on the down though.
01:56:24.000 Yeah, I think that's more prison culture.
01:56:27.000 They are.
01:56:27.000 I told you.
01:56:29.000 They are.
01:56:29.000 Most trainees in New York City are gay.
01:56:33.000 Really?
01:56:34.000 Most trainees in New York City?
01:56:35.000 Manies in New York City are gay.
01:56:37.000 Wow, Ryan, you're great at research.
01:56:39.000 Well, they're black.
01:56:40.000 Most trainees are black.
01:56:42.000 I like what you said a few weeks ago, too, when you were saying, I don't know what you were saying, but just basically saying gay people are boring.
01:56:49.000 Stop being interested in gay people.
01:56:50.000 Yeah, so true.
01:56:52.000 And then you said something that I've been saying ever since I came out, which is, you know, my sexuality and my personality are two separate things.
01:56:59.000 Stop trying to conflate The two.
01:57:01.000 That's good.
01:57:01.000 One has nothing to do with the other, and your sexuality is boring.
01:57:05.000 Stop making it your whole personality.
01:57:07.000 Exactly.
01:57:08.000 Yeah, like you do butt sex.
01:57:10.000 What if a heterosexual guy only did butt sex and he wouldn't shut up about it and called himself Joey Anal or something?
01:57:17.000 You'd just go, fuck.
01:57:19.000 Will you stop it?
01:57:20.000 I don't want to hear about that.
01:57:22.000 Well, and I hope you call him a fag.
01:57:25.000 I would say that's a good time to use the word fag.
01:57:30.000 Are you from Canada's?
01:57:31.000 Are you a newfield, by the way?
01:57:33.000 No, I'm in New Brunswick.
01:57:35.000 New Brunswick, Canada.
01:57:37.000 So, yes.
01:57:39.000 Yeah.
01:57:40.000 You're like 10 meters away from Newfoundland.
01:57:44.000 No, I'm not far.
01:57:45.000 No.
01:57:45.000 No.
01:57:46.000 And we're just as left-leaning here as you guys are in New York.
01:57:50.000 It's getting pretty bad over here on the east side.
01:57:53.000 East side?
01:57:54.000 We have as many blacks as New York, too.
01:57:59.000 We have a lot of Africans here.
01:58:00.000 A lot of Africans come here for our universities.
01:58:04.000 But Halifax, the Underground Railroad ended there.
01:58:06.000 They had Africaville for a while, and it made the population of Halifax.
01:58:10.000 I know you're not in Halifax, but.
01:58:12.000 I was just there yesterday, actually.
01:58:14.000 I think they called it Africaville.
01:58:16.000 And they only got power and running water, I think like in the 60s there or something like that.
01:58:23.000 All right, thanks for calling.
01:58:24.000 We like you more than a friend.
01:58:26.000 And we would like to have intimate relations with you while wearing shoes that were uncomfortable to walk long distances in.
01:58:32.000 But they boost up your thighs, calves, and butt.
01:58:35.000 Yes.
01:58:37.000 Robert.
01:58:38.000 Wait a minute.
01:58:42.000 James Braddock allegedly threw fight versus Joe Lewis.
01:58:46.000 After Lewis became Chank, Braddock received a portion of every Lewis fight thereafter.
01:58:50.000 Wow.
01:58:51.000 James Braddock and Joe Lewis.
01:58:57.000 Braddock.
01:59:00.000 James Braddock, is there age?
01:59:03.000 Holy schmokes.
01:59:04.000 That's back in these days.
01:59:06.000 Alrighty, let's get started.
01:59:08.000 In this corner, we have James Braddock.
01:59:12.000 He's ready for a punch-up with Joe Lewis.
01:59:14.000 All right, Joe Lewis, let's see what you got.
01:59:17.000 Look at that.
01:59:17.000 That's made on acetate.
01:59:19.000 The mongrel and mod before rock and roll.
01:59:24.000 Back when we only had trumpets.
01:59:29.000 Hello.
01:59:30.000 Here, let me undo your robe, sir.
01:59:32.000 Oh, let me tie it up again.
01:59:34.000 Why are you tying up my robe?
01:59:35.000 I'm ready to fight.
01:59:36.000 Versus.
01:59:40.000 Joe Lewis of Detroit.
01:59:42.000 That's so stylish.
01:59:45.000 I don't like that Memphis look, that train shit.
01:59:48.000 What's it called?
01:59:49.000 Art Deco?
01:59:50.000 Yeah, Art Deco.
01:59:53.000 I thought Joe Lewis was black.
01:59:54.000 Me too.
01:59:57.000 Come on, you bum.
01:59:59.000 Come on, you pantsy green.
02:00:00.000 Knock the block off.
02:00:01.000 I'll knock your block off.
02:00:03.000 Yeah.
02:00:04.000 You're on a one-way ticket to Palucaville, Joe Lewis.
02:00:07.000 I'll give you the one-two skidoo.
02:00:10.000 You said, what about my ma?
02:00:14.000 I'm going to give you one hell of a knuckle sandwich, you bum.
02:00:18.000 Boring.
02:00:19.000 Ooh, I like the little dance.
02:00:22.000 So this is how far a thrown fight has gone back?
02:00:28.000 I guess that's why it's so long.
02:00:29.000 Boxing sure sucked back then.
02:00:31.000 I guess that's why it's so long, because they wanted to make it seem like a real...
02:00:34.000 You know?
02:00:35.000 Wait, Joe Lewis is black.
02:00:36.000 Yeah.
02:00:37.000 We're just watching black and white.
02:00:38.000 Yes.
02:00:42.000 All right, knock me out.
02:00:47.000 Hit me with your best shot, Charlie.
02:00:49.000 That doesn't look like a thrown fight.
02:00:52.000 It doesn't look like a fight.
02:00:55.000 I can beat both of these guys.
02:00:56.000 Yeah, I want to walk up into the ring and just knock them both out.
02:01:00.000 It looks like two guys, you know, moving around while waiting for a bus.
02:01:06.000 Yeah, but this guy's face is a boss, dude.
02:01:09.000 There we go.
02:01:10.000 Oh, I'm out.
02:01:11.000 That looked like a good punch.
02:01:13.000 Yeah.
02:01:13.000 Dude, his face is bloodied as hell, too.
02:01:15.000 So, I mean, maybe he let him take those hits, but it immediately doesn't look fishy.
02:01:23.000 Robert.
02:01:25.000 On mute.
02:01:28.000 What the hell?
02:01:29.000 Robert.
02:01:31.000 Hey.
02:01:31.000 Hey, man.
02:01:34.000 That tranny show, man.
02:01:36.000 The tranny show, it was fucking...
02:01:41.000 You're still watching the tranny show.
02:01:42.000 Are you talking about Jazz Jennings?
02:01:43.000 I am Jazz?
02:01:46.000 No, I was talking about the disgusting dick surgery show from earlier this week.
02:01:50.000 Oh, yes.
02:01:51.000 Wow, that really garnered a lot of attention.
02:01:55.000 I've never watched it yet.
02:01:57.000 It made me totally sick, so I don't recommend...
02:01:57.000 once.
02:02:05.000 But why did you fall in a fire naked?
02:02:10.000 I'll tell you why.
02:02:12.000 I just built my own house in upstate New York, and my buddy Trevor Simser, I think he was jealous.
02:02:20.000 And I don't think it was conscience.
02:02:22.000 Conscious.
02:02:23.000 I think that if I brought that up with him right now, he'd go, what?
02:02:26.000 Like, he doesn't even know this.
02:02:27.000 But he was on magic mushrooms.
02:02:30.000 And when you move into a house, obviously there's tons and tons of cardboard because you're unpacking all the furniture and all the IKEA cutlery and all that crap.
02:02:39.000 So I had mountains of cardboard.
02:02:41.000 So I made this massive cardboard bonfire.
02:02:44.000 And we had a big party.
02:02:45.000 I think it was New Year's Eve.
02:02:47.000 And we had all these people up from the city, from New York City.
02:02:50.000 And this is up in Eldred, New York.
02:02:52.000 So there was this massive bonfire.
02:02:54.000 Everyone's having a gay old time.
02:02:56.000 We're having fun.
02:02:57.000 And I took off all my clothes.
02:03:00.000 And I thought it'd be funny to jump over the bonfire nude.
02:03:03.000 And it wasn't, this is after it had died down a bit, right?
02:03:06.000 So it's probably as big as this table.
02:03:07.000 It was no longer like a big peak.
02:03:09.000 So I'm running over, jumping over it.
02:03:11.000 I do it a few times.
02:03:12.000 Makes for some funny photos, by the way.
02:03:15.000 And then one of the times I'm jumping over, Trevor just fucking clotheslines me.
02:03:22.000 Not a shove.
02:03:24.000 Now, his story is, no, no, no.
02:03:26.000 What I was trying to do is shove you while you were right at the peak, so then you'd go Flying.
02:03:30.000 And I go, That's a reasonable excuse, except that I got the tape.
02:03:35.000 I got the receipts, motherfucker.
02:03:37.000 And in the video, you see him going click, click, click, click.
02:03:40.000 I tried to look for that.
02:03:41.000 Is that available?
02:03:42.000 No.
02:03:43.000 Okay.
02:03:45.000 And he hits me.
02:03:46.000 So, what happened was he hit me right above the flames.
02:03:50.000 I landed on the flaming cardboard.
02:03:52.000 It stuck.
02:03:53.000 I got up.
02:03:54.000 It stuck to my ass.
02:03:56.000 And I had to run to the shower and have like a freezing-cold shower and then a freezing-cold bath all night.
02:04:04.000 So anyway, I didn't jump into a fire.
02:04:06.000 I jumped over a fire.
02:04:08.000 And a friend of mine was getting out his frustrations, I believe.
02:04:13.000 That's my theory.
02:04:14.000 That's a great story.
02:04:16.000 Well, anyway, your new sunglasses are pretty cool.
02:04:20.000 See you later.
02:04:21.000 Bye-bye.
02:04:24.000 All right, we got to wrap it up here.
02:04:25.000 Last call.
02:04:26.000 He doesn't love your new sunglasses, though.
02:04:30.000 Hurtful.
02:04:31.000 Dogs.
02:04:32.000 Jesse didn't love her new sunglasses either.
02:04:34.000 He said, I like your new sunglasses.
02:04:36.000 That's right.
02:04:37.000 Dogs suck, says Kevin Ryguy.
02:04:41.000 I just want to let you know, dogs totally suck.
02:04:44.000 You talked about this before, but I like to go out to the beach here, and every fucking time I do, there's some dog who just runs up on my shit, and then their person right behind them just yelling, oh my God, oh my God, I'm sorry.
02:04:56.000 I'm sorry.
02:04:57.000 Oh, my God.
02:04:58.000 I hate that.
02:04:58.000 So fuck those dogs.
02:05:01.000 And I want to love you with my heels on.
02:05:04.000 Okay, thank you for your call, sir.
02:05:06.000 Maybe we'll take a few more calls.
02:05:08.000 Let's go through them super quick, though.
02:05:10.000 Yeah, I was on a little nature walk with my youngest boy the other day, and I see some dog running around, and the dog faces me.
02:05:16.000 And the owner's literally a mile away.
02:05:18.000 So I pick up my boy, so he can only bite his feet, and I go, what's going on?
02:05:23.000 Hey!
02:05:24.000 And then the dog eventually ran away.
02:05:25.000 But I had my leatherman on me.
02:05:27.000 I was like, am I going to have to kill a dog with my little baby boy in my arms?
02:05:31.000 Like, get them out of here.
02:05:34.000 All right, next call.
02:05:35.000 Okay, you're on the line.
02:05:40.000 Nameless bastard.
02:05:42.000 Hi.
02:05:45.000 Hello?
02:05:47.000 Hello?
02:05:48.000 Hi.
02:05:50.000 Okay, I didn't hear my name.
02:05:52.000 Anyways, I'll keep this real quick.
02:05:55.000 I was just wondering if you've seen on Twitter that Antifa's talking about fucking looting and shit.
02:06:01.000 I was wondering what you thought about that.
02:06:03.000 When?
02:06:06.000 Today, that, what's that faggotry?
02:06:09.000 Salish black flag or some shit.
02:06:12.000 And what are they going to loot?
02:06:13.000 As the African flag for the Imam?
02:06:15.000 They're talking about knocking up stores and shit and taking everything and distributing it amongst themselves.
02:06:20.000 Oh, because of coronavirus.
02:06:23.000 Yeah.
02:06:24.000 They really think that there's some sort of vigilantes police force that's out there doing good.
02:06:31.000 Oh, yeah.
02:06:32.000 Fucking if you get a chance, check out Antifamous on Telegram.
02:06:37.000 Me and a couple other Proud Boys have been fucking naming and shaming.
02:06:41.000 Okay.
02:06:42.000 Yeah, I actually did check that out today.
02:06:44.000 I saw you got Unicorn Riot.
02:06:47.000 Yeah, we've got a couple of them.
02:06:49.000 We're going to keep on hitting them.
02:06:51.000 Good.
02:06:52.000 But the problem is, though, like these losers have nothing to lose.
02:06:55.000 So you get Christian Exo, anti-fash Gordon, and you go, what are we going to do?
02:07:00.000 Embarrass him in front of his wife and kids?
02:07:03.000 He probably lives in his parents' basement.
02:07:04.000 He doesn't have wife and kids.
02:07:05.000 Well, he's got teeth to lose.
02:07:08.000 I want to know their name.
02:07:10.000 Oh, God.
02:07:12.000 That's funny as hell.
02:07:13.000 Awesome.
02:07:13.000 All right.
02:07:13.000 Well, thanks for calling, buddy.
02:07:14.000 We're going to try to power through these calls.
02:07:17.000 How many do we have left?
02:07:20.000 We got about seven.
02:07:23.000 Okay.
02:07:23.000 Next.
02:07:24.000 Oh, six.
02:07:25.000 Somebody just dropped off.
02:07:26.000 Mark, question about Joe Biden.
02:07:30.000 Okay.
02:07:31.000 It's taking a second to load.
02:07:33.000 I clicked it a.
02:07:34.000 You know, late year ago.
02:07:36.000 Dinesh had a great theory about Joe Biden.
02:07:39.000 He said, when men get older, they get more childlike and they start acting like four-year-olds.
02:07:45.000 They get petulant and vicious and overly defensive.
02:07:50.000 And that's what Biden's doing.
02:07:52.000 He's reverting back to his toddler self.
02:07:56.000 Where's the caller?
02:07:57.000 You're on the left.
02:07:58.000 Just doing anything?
02:08:00.000 Anything?
02:08:03.000 Yeah, so after watching yesterday's episode about dementia Biden, I had a thought.
02:08:08.000 I hadn't heard anybody talking about this angle, and I want your thoughts on it.
02:08:13.000 So say that they're putting Biden in there.
02:08:16.000 He's going to get the ticket.
02:08:18.000 And they're like, well, he's got dementia.
02:08:21.000 He gets some kind of medical thing where they're like, no, he's not competent enough to be the DNC ticket.
02:08:29.000 What can happen there?
02:08:30.000 Because I was like, oh, shit.
02:08:32.000 They can put anybody they want in there.
02:08:34.000 They can slip Hillary in there.
02:08:36.000 What's going to happen?
02:08:36.000 Because I really think this is actually the plan.
02:08:40.000 Yeah, that's a smart plan.
02:08:41.000 Assuming that you're right and they're allowed to switch him with anyone, then this is a good idea.
02:08:47.000 You get some retarded puppet to take the job and then you switch in Hillary.
02:08:53.000 But can they do that?
02:08:55.000 Because he has to be democratically elected as the head of the DNC and then also as the president.
02:09:02.000 So wait a minute.
02:09:03.000 If he was elected president.
02:09:08.000 Or what the fuck is going to happen here?
02:09:10.000 Because I don't think that Biden is going to survive with his fucking looney, creepy shit.
02:09:16.000 You're right.
02:09:18.000 You know, they can't.
02:09:18.000 You know what I mean?
02:09:19.000 So I'm just, I'm real curious.
02:09:21.000 I want to do some more research on it because I feel like this is a ploy.
02:09:23.000 They're going to do this thing.
02:09:25.000 Biden's definitely not going to be the guy in the end.
02:09:27.000 Does he have a vice president pick?
02:09:29.000 Bernie?
02:09:30.000 Yeah, if he gets Hillary as VP, and then they get in and they just go, Biden's not competent, and then he resigns like that day.
02:09:39.000 Right.
02:09:40.000 Yeah, right?
02:09:42.000 They would totally do something like that.
02:09:44.000 But anyways.
02:09:45.000 I got a question, what is the, Uhuru.
02:09:48.000 What is the last is it too late to reveal Hillary Clinton as a surprise VP pick?
02:09:56.000 There are no VP picks, Ryan.
02:09:58.000 We don't have a head of the DNC Yet we don't have a candidate.
02:10:01.000 Next call, please.
02:10:04.000 We got Mark.
02:10:07.000 Mark.
02:10:09.000 Hey, what's up, guys?
02:10:11.000 Gavin, I think that you might not be the godfather of hipsters.
02:10:17.000 I would say somebody like a Jarvis Cocker would be the forerunner for that.
02:10:23.000 That's a terrible theory.
02:10:25.000 Jarvis Cocker came out with common people long after I had established hipsterism.
02:10:31.000 He was one minor garnish.
02:10:35.000 Well, I think the style he had, like, you know, the retro sunglasses retro glasses and the like Finch's clothing, that was like pre, you know, even before the Stokes came along and all that stuff.
02:10:47.000 The Strokes.
02:10:48.000 Yeah, I was around, I was doing this.
02:10:51.000 I mean, we moved to New York in 1999.
02:10:54.000 So Jarvis was way late on that.
02:10:56.000 You have a problem with chronology there.
02:10:58.000 Interesting theory, though.
02:11:00.000 And also, and thanks for calling, by the way.
02:11:02.000 Also, his actual canon was just like a couple songs.
02:11:08.000 He wasn't really providing us with any context.
02:11:10.000 He seems to have one style as opposed to your style, which is a little more eclectic.
02:11:15.000 Okay.
02:11:15.000 Anyway, next call, please, Ryan.
02:11:17.000 We're trying to power through these.
02:11:18.000 Hey, GM.
02:11:20.000 Minneapolis Muslim.
02:11:26.000 My name's Ian.
02:11:27.000 I'm in Minneapolis.
02:11:30.000 So I've lived in the Twin Cities for five or six years now.
02:11:35.000 And I thought under Sharia law that women weren't supposed to be able to do anything.
02:11:42.000 But every day I get stuck behind fucking minivans that when they're taking a right-hand turn, they're going one mile an hour.
02:11:50.000 And it's fucking Muslim women in fucking jihads or fucking burqas and shit.
02:11:56.000 Yeah, you have to find out what, okay, then they need to be punished.
02:12:01.000 Let's play their game.
02:12:02.000 Let's call the report them to the Sharia hotline, get their license plate, and say, this woman was out driving without permission, and she was driving like a bitch, and I hereby give you permission to beat her with a stick no bigger than your thumb.
02:12:17.000 Thanks.
02:12:18.000 Thanks for calling.
02:12:20.000 Yeah, you can be, you can have, as long as it's not bigger than a toothbrush.
02:12:24.000 That is the actual rule, by the way.
02:12:27.000 Okay, we have Nicholas.
02:12:28.000 How are we doing?
02:12:29.000 Are the calls, they keep coming, right?
02:12:31.000 One, two, three, four, five.
02:12:33.000 Yes.
02:12:35.000 So I had a question on what your thoughts are about spanking your kids.
02:12:40.000 I just got in an argument with my brother-in-law.
02:12:42.000 He's a pastor, and he was using Bible verses to explain why physically abusing your kids is part of God's word.
02:12:50.000 Obviously, he wouldn't hit them very hard or whatever.
02:12:52.000 He'd call it corporal discipline, whatever.
02:12:55.000 Don't leave a mark.
02:12:56.000 Just hit them enough to punish them.
02:12:58.000 What are your thoughts?
02:12:59.000 I don't agree with that, by the way.
02:13:00.000 I don't see it as a big deal either way, especially the way parents spank their kids.
02:13:06.000 It's not like the way blacks beat their kids with a switch.
02:13:09.000 But the reason I don't do it is because it doesn't work.
02:13:12.000 I've read that they end up becoming immune to it, and now it's just like I might as well get it over with.
02:13:18.000 However, I was reserving it.
02:13:21.000 I never had to use it, but I was reserving it for something huge, like running out into traffic or trying to drown your sister or something.
02:13:29.000 I never had to bring out that nuclear weapon.
02:13:31.000 But again, I don't have a problem with it politically or anything.
02:13:34.000 I just don't think it works.
02:13:35.000 So I think timeouts, Stern talking to punishments like no screens for five days, that is a lot more effective.
02:13:45.000 Anyway, next call.
02:13:47.000 Jake.
02:13:48.000 What's up, Jake?
02:13:50.000 Hey, Gavin, longtime listener, first time caller.
02:13:53.000 I was calling to ask, have you seen the Iran is supposedly making mass graves?
02:13:59.000 I saw this on the Guardian.
02:14:00.000 We could see from space that they are creating mass graves for the coronavirus victims.
02:14:05.000 Yeah, I saw that.
02:14:06.000 It's like 63 meters long and four meters wide.
02:14:09.000 Whatever that means.
02:14:11.000 Yeah, it just shows you what a backwards shithole it is.
02:14:17.000 I don't know.
02:14:18.000 I see stuff like that, and I see the police in Hong Kong, and I just cannot care.
02:14:23.000 I don't care about non-Western countries.
02:14:27.000 I agree with you there.
02:14:29.000 All right.
02:14:30.000 Thanks for calling.
02:14:32.000 It is horrific how disgusting these fucking countries are.
02:14:37.000 Yep.
02:14:37.000 Next call.
02:14:39.000 We got Andrew talking about Mexicans.
02:14:42.000 What's up, dude?
02:14:43.000 We got a roll.
02:14:44.000 It's cringey Mexicans.
02:14:46.000 What?
02:14:47.000 Hey, cringy Mexicans.
02:14:50.000 Oh, yes.
02:14:51.000 That one caller called saying that they're the cringiest group of Latins in America.
02:14:56.000 Yep.
02:14:57.000 And I have evidence of the contrary.
02:15:00.000 It's actually Colombians.
02:15:01.000 If you Google or on YouTube, look up Blast Beat Cast on making an authentic Colombian movie.
02:15:10.000 You'll see the little short kid from Hannah, Montana pretending to be a Colombian Coke dealer.
02:15:19.000 And it's just awful.
02:15:20.000 Even the title annoys me.
02:15:23.000 Blast Beat Cast on making a 2015.
02:15:26.000 Fast forward to 130, and you'll hear him having like a strange Colombian English accent.
02:15:33.000 130.
02:15:34.000 And it's just awful.
02:15:35.000 Yeah.
02:15:38.000 Okay.
02:15:38.000 Colombians are now the most cringy Hispanics.
02:15:41.000 Let's do 130.
02:15:43.000 Thanks for calling.
02:15:47.000 Wait, I want to see it.
02:15:48.000 Yeah, no, I gotta...
02:15:49.000 You gotta hang up on her?
02:15:50.000 I gotta hang up on her.
02:15:51.000 Kind of bled into real life.
02:15:56.000 Here's 130.
02:15:57.000 And the Play Brothers just made it even that much more special.
02:16:00.000 You know, I don't think that many of the scenes would have been able to be executed with the person that I had just met or was a little bit acquainted with.
02:16:07.000 You know, there was a lot of unnecessary fighting that kind of bled into real life.
02:16:12.000 But I think from a genuine source.
02:16:14.000 Yeah.
02:16:14.000 Him and Eric being, you know, Colombians for real.
02:16:17.000 Yeah.
02:16:17.000 So it resonated when we read the short.
02:16:20.000 What was the hardest part about pretending to be brothers?
02:16:24.000 I think that my 80-year-old woman uniform.
02:16:30.000 What the fuck is he wearing?
02:16:32.000 Some tension and some friction.
02:16:34.000 And because it was wanted of us to it and like just kind of promoted it.
02:16:39.000 Yeah, we promoted it.
02:16:40.000 There was definitely some aggressive moments on set.
02:16:42.000 Yeah, I remember them like running lines with each other and they would just start fighting and I would be like, yo, Ed Berl, the cameraman.
02:16:53.000 Oh, that was a really cringy laugh.
02:16:55.000 Yeah, I think story to life, especially right now in our country where immigration is such an important thing.
02:17:03.000 All right, next.
02:17:03.000 When do they act?
02:17:05.000 We're way over the line.
02:17:06.000 I know.
02:17:07.000 I'm going late because the intro was so boring.
02:17:09.000 And FTP.
02:17:11.000 Hills.
02:17:14.000 Hey, yeah.
02:17:17.000 Listen to you.
02:17:18.000 I click on a thing from Reuters, and you know China a lot better than I do.
02:17:23.000 I've never lived there.
02:17:24.000 And the foreign ministry spokesman just tweeted this in English, and I want to see what you think about it.
02:17:32.000 It's short.
02:17:34.000 When did patient zero begin in U.S.?
02:17:37.000 Question mark.
02:17:38.000 How many people are infected?
02:17:40.000 Question mark.
02:17:41.000 What are the names of the hospitals?
02:17:43.000 Question mark.
02:17:44.000 It might be U.S. Army who brought the epidemic to Wuhan.
02:17:48.000 Be transparent, exclamation point.
02:17:51.000 Make public your data.
02:17:52.000 Exclamation point.
02:17:54.000 U.S. owe us an explanation.
02:17:57.000 Exclamation point.
02:17:59.000 Like, am I nuts thinking that this could go somewhere with us and China in a war and not a good way?
02:18:09.000 Yes, you are nuts for thinking that.
02:18:11.000 But they are acting really aggressive.
02:18:14.000 Tucker was talking the other night about how them saying, we make 97% of your antibiotics.
02:18:20.000 We could just withhold them if things get out of control.
02:18:23.000 I mean, I think at the very least, we're learning that China is just as corrupt as we thought it was, and major political figures can talk like daily beast writers on a public forum.
02:18:39.000 That's a great point.
02:18:40.000 Yeah, and say he then said, we wish a few officials in the U.S. would at this time concentrate their energy on responding to the virus and promoting cooperation and not shifting the blame to China, right?
02:18:56.000 Well, they're saying that we're, quote, immoral and irresponsible for worsening the pandemic.
02:19:03.000 And there's one more thing where it's another veil threat.
02:19:08.000 Like the communist newspaper, it's not communist newspaper, you know what it's called, whatever the newspaper is, it's the Communist Party backs.
02:19:14.000 So they did that kind of veiled threat to us.
02:19:16.000 That's just crazy.
02:19:18.000 They're not being very subtle here.
02:19:20.000 And isn't it funny how they're so worried about their reputation, how they're perceived?
02:19:24.000 I guess that's what happens in a communist country where propaganda is what keeps you alive.
02:19:29.000 I mean, Winnie the Pooh is fucking banned because someone said the president looks like him.
02:19:33.000 But it is deeply disturbing.
02:19:35.000 And I think the beauty of this is we will learn in the future not to trust this fucking country, and maybe we can separate ourselves more.
02:19:43.000 Ideally, we start bringing pharmaceutical manufacturing back to America.
02:19:48.000 We learned our lesson here, and we stop having China make 90%, 97% of our antibiotics.
02:19:55.000 But thank you very much for calling.
02:19:57.000 That's extremely helpful.
02:20:00.000 Okay, we got two more.
02:20:01.000 If we were to stick with that, we got somebody that's been on the line for a minute.
02:20:04.000 Okay.
02:20:04.000 But that was after that.
02:20:05.000 We got Doug speech pathology.
02:20:08.000 Hurry up, Doug.
02:20:09.000 Yo, Gavin.
02:20:11.000 Hey, you're wrong about speech pathology, man.
02:20:13.000 It's actually a great career.
02:20:15.000 You know, two years, then you can start off making 80K in the healthcare industry, or you can go into education.
02:20:22.000 Whoa.
02:20:23.000 Okay, so that chick who's 250 grand in debt will be able to pay off her debt of maybe.
02:20:31.000 Yeah, she's probably just a dumb bitch and went to a private school.
02:20:34.000 But, I mean, you can get into programs around California for, you know, $10,000 a year.
02:20:42.000 Oh, to learn it.
02:20:45.000 Yeah, yeah, it's a master's program.
02:20:47.000 It's just a two-year master program.
02:20:49.000 Because she went to NYU for it and she went $250,000 in debt.
02:20:56.000 Yeah, I'm not sure what she did wrong.
02:20:59.000 Okay, so that's good advice.
02:21:00.000 If you want to get in speech pathology, don't go to NYU.
02:21:02.000 Take a $10,000 a year course.
02:21:04.000 $20,000 will get you your degree, and then you can be making $80,000 in no time.
02:21:08.000 Thank you for your call.
02:21:09.000 That's some good advice.
02:21:11.000 Next call.
02:21:14.000 We got Christian.
02:21:16.000 Sister Christian?
02:21:19.000 What's up, C-Dog?
02:21:22.000 Hey, Gab Dog.
02:21:23.000 What's going on, man?
02:21:25.000 Not much.
02:21:27.000 Hey, so listen, I just turned 24, and I started listening to you back when I heard you on Joe Region for the first time.
02:21:36.000 And you were talking about poor man's about smelling the poo, like if you're doing doggy style.
02:21:43.000 And it just hit me.
02:21:45.000 I just turned 24.
02:21:46.000 I was with my girlfriend having a little birthday fun.
02:21:50.000 And it hit me, and I was like, holy shit, I'm becoming an old man.
02:21:53.000 And I totally understand that.
02:21:55.000 I didn't get it when I heard it so many years before, but I really totally understand now.
02:22:00.000 And I appreciate the four warning guidance.
02:22:04.000 Well, you're welcome for that.
02:22:06.000 And I would also add another thing.
02:22:07.000 If you do too much Coke and you feel like you can't get it up and you still want to fuck her, you don't even have to smell her ass.
02:22:14.000 Think about her asshole and think that it's right there and you'll get a fucking boner.
02:22:21.000 Oh, thank you.
02:22:22.000 I want to fuck you in my house on mic.
02:22:25.000 That's such a timid one.
02:22:27.000 Tony.
02:22:28.000 Second last call.
02:22:30.000 Yes, Tony, you're on the line.
02:22:33.000 Hey, it's a difficult situation.
02:22:35.000 Difficult situation.
02:22:36.000 He's a fag.
02:22:38.000 Yeah, I got a difficult situation.
02:22:40.000 It's a difficult situation.
02:22:43.000 Difficult situation.
02:22:45.000 What is that?
02:22:46.000 A fucking woman boss?
02:22:48.000 No, it's just a difficult situation.
02:22:51.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.
02:22:54.000 Okay.
02:22:56.000 Anything else?
02:22:58.000 Difficult situation.
02:22:59.000 Never happened in the States.
02:23:01.000 All right.
02:23:01.000 Well, thank you for your call, and good luck with that.
02:23:04.000 I would recommend you whack the snitch that's talking to the feds.
02:23:10.000 All right, next call, last call, of course.
02:23:12.000 We've got, and this is a big drum roll, best call of the show I predict.
02:23:17.000 Brendan, kudos, wife, Corona.
02:23:24.000 Hey, am I on?
02:23:25.000 Hey, yep.
02:23:27.000 Did you hear that Trudeau's wife been diagnosed with coronavirus?
02:23:31.000 I did see that today, yes.
02:23:35.000 Whoa, I hadn't heard anybody talk about it.
02:23:37.000 We don't care.
02:23:38.000 Yeah, his wife's a beard.
02:23:40.000 It's not a real wife.
02:23:43.000 All right.
02:23:44.000 Fair enough.
02:23:44.000 We're going to let you know.
02:23:46.000 All right.
02:23:47.000 Thanks for the heads up.
02:23:48.000 Thanks for your call.
02:23:48.000 And that is our show for tonight.
02:23:51.000 Yes.
02:23:53.000 Justin Trudeau's wife seems to have coronavirus.
02:23:55.000 So does some basketball guys.
02:23:57.000 So does Tom Hanks and his wife, as we learned from his tattoo-laden son.
02:24:01.000 Maybe Charles Barkley?
02:24:02.000 I mean, I don't really give a shit.
02:24:04.000 And I don't give a shit about coronavirus.
02:24:06.000 I'm not concerned about it.
02:24:07.000 I'll be flying like a motherfucker.
02:24:08.000 I go to New Rochelle every day.
02:24:11.000 I shook maybe 500 hands in CPAC.
02:24:16.000 What are you going to do?
02:24:17.000 What are you going to do?
02:24:19.000 I'll tell you what you're going to do.
02:24:20.000 You're going to get fired.
02:24:20.000 You're going to get in trouble.
02:24:21.000 You're going to be brave.