Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 24, 2020


GOML LIVE #44 | COCTEAU TWINS


Episode Stats

Length

29 minutes

Words per Minute

149.49438

Word Count

4,435

Sentence Count

442

Misogynist Sentences

31

Hate Speech Sentences

24


Summary

This week on Off My Lawn, we talk about a lot of things, but the first half of the show is dedicated entirely to a clip from CensoredTV, and the second half is dedicated to the Red Pill. We talk about how to get over your fear of peeing in your pants, and how to deal with a gorilla's balls. Plus, we get into a debate about whether or not a gorilla has pubes, and why it's a good thing they don't have pubes. And we take a deep dive into the weirdest thing we've ever heard about a gorilla penis. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. This episode was produced by Patrick Muldowney and Alex Blumberg. Thanks to our sponsor, Topsy Turvy! Subscribe to our new podcast, Not Mavingay! Subscribe today using our podcast s promo code GAVIN and get 15% off your first order of a Red Pill Pill! Get Red Pill Living Red Pill: Buy some Red Pill and boost your immune system and feel great! Buy Red Pill living: not makin' it, not maving it, Not maving' it! Buy some guvvy: not-mavingay? Not mucking it up your life with a cup of coffee and not- mavinging it up with not maken' it's not mucking up my life, not- not making it up my day- Not makenay! And don't forget to check out our new sponsor, Not My Day Off My Day, Not Your Day, not My Day Not My Maving it's my Day! . . . Not My Deal of the Week: Not My Fair, Not Our Day, NOT Maving It's My Day's Day, My Day Of The Week! Not My Sucking It, Not YA'O! , Not My Fucking Effing Maving Day, It's Not My Best Day, That's Not Makin' It's Your Day of the Day, I'm Not My Worst Day, No Maving My Day of The Week, Not Meaving It, I'll Give Me A Good Day, And I'll Be My Best Week Yet, Not my Best Day Of the Week, NOT MY SWELLEST DAY OF THE WEEK, NOT YA DAILY, NOT OUR SWEETEST WEEKEND!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, this is a clip from censored.tv.
00:00:03.000 Please go there now.
00:00:04.000 Ten bucks a month.
00:00:05.000 Unlimited content.
00:00:06.000 New stuff every day.
00:00:08.000 Okay, now to the clip.
00:00:34.000 That's the problem with you.
00:00:36.000 When you fuck up, your first instinct is, I didn't fuck up.
00:00:41.000 Your first instinct should be, what?
00:00:44.000 Really?
00:00:44.000 What's happening?
00:00:47.000 Well, I'm sorry.
00:00:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:50.000 I don't care about that.
00:00:51.000 It's a dumb detail.
00:00:53.000 It was just the song was playing itself twice.
00:00:55.000 But what I'm more concerned with is your development as a human being.
00:01:00.000 And you can't evolve as a human being and improve if your first instinct is consistently, no, no, I'm good.
00:01:08.000 I'm good.
00:01:09.000 Like your pants are on fire.
00:01:11.000 No, no, that's just, I'm just wearing like red pants that are really bright.
00:01:16.000 Oh shit, they are on fire.
00:01:18.000 Like your legs are gonna burn.
00:01:19.000 That's one second I could have been extinguishing the pants.
00:01:22.000 Exactly!
00:01:23.000 Right.
00:01:23.000 Extinguish the pants!
00:01:26.000 Shit tits.
00:01:27.000 Hey!
00:01:28.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn, the free half hour that's on YouTube.
00:01:33.000 Probably the worst of the show of the week is what's made free, which isn't a great advertisement.
00:01:40.000 This should be the peak.
00:01:42.000 What you see here for free should be a commercial.
00:01:47.000 Um...
00:01:49.000 Oh, I just barfed.
00:01:50.000 Uh, advertising the show, but there's so many restrictions here on YouTube.
00:01:55.000 I am hanging by a human pube.
00:01:59.000 Do animals have pubes?
00:02:01.000 I think their whole body is pubes.
00:02:03.000 Animals are pubes.
00:02:04.000 Isn't fur just pubes?
00:02:05.000 Do animals have pubes?
00:02:07.000 Like, does a gorilla have pubes?
00:02:09.000 Can you go Google a gorilla's dick?
00:02:13.000 Why don't you go Google a gorilla's dick and stop wasting my time?
00:02:18.000 You should be fucking at home Googling a gorilla's dick.
00:02:21.000 The contemporary Fonzie?
00:02:22.000 You have a job?
00:02:23.000 What do you do at your job?
00:02:24.000 Google a gorilla's dick?
00:02:26.000 Is that your fucking job?
00:02:27.000 Actually, it is my job.
00:02:29.000 Gavin told me to Google a gorilla's dick.
00:02:31.000 Guess I get paid for this.
00:02:32.000 I bet you they don't have pubes.
00:02:34.000 I bet it's like the same belly hair just going down.
00:02:38.000 No shit for brains.
00:02:39.000 Don't look up the goddamn question.
00:02:41.000 By definition, yes.
00:02:42.000 If there's hair around the pubis.
00:02:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:45.000 We all know what pubes are.
00:02:46.000 Go to images.
00:02:47.000 Go gorilla genitalia images.
00:02:52.000 Why do I have to do this?
00:02:53.000 Dammit, DuckDuckGo comes up with zero for gorilla penis.
00:02:57.000 That's weird.
00:02:57.000 So, I'm going to Google.
00:02:59.000 Sorry.
00:03:00.000 We like DuckDuckGo, we like Brave.
00:03:03.000 But we like gorilla penis.
00:03:04.000 I gotta admit, sometimes there's some weird shit there.
00:03:06.000 Before we get started with the show, we should focus on Red Pill living.
00:03:11.000 That's probably not the best example of it.
00:03:14.000 These odd times have everyone worrying about their immunity.
00:03:17.000 Stop worrying and do what I do.
00:03:19.000 Go to redpillliving.com.
00:03:22.000 Buy some Red Pill and boost your immune system.
00:03:27.000 www.
00:03:28.000 Which I don't think we have to do in this day and age.
00:03:30.000 Redpillliving.com.
00:03:32.000 Use promo code GAVIN.
00:03:34.000 Get 15% off all orders.
00:03:37.000 Get Red Pill and feel great.
00:03:41.000 Redpillliving.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off all orders.
00:03:45.000 The coffee show is coming in May.
00:03:47.000 Thanks COVID for postponing my coffee show.
00:03:50.000 Support patriot-owned businesses.
00:03:52.000 So this is a site that has
00:03:55.000 Your CBD, your tincture, all this other stuff, but they also have a huge array of coffee varieties, and they break it down per country.
00:04:05.000 So what we want to do, why don't you show the site, Brian?
00:04:09.000 What we want to do is go through each country's coffee, and do like a taste test.
00:04:17.000 Because I have a Nespresso at home, and I gotta say, I'm not that thrilled with it.
00:04:23.000 It seems a little acrid.
00:04:25.000 What, are they done with coffee?
00:04:27.000 They probably have shipment problems due to... Oh, everything is topsy-turvy!
00:04:33.000 Topsy-turvy!
00:04:37.000 Not makin' guff-ay!
00:04:38.000 Not makin' guff-ay!
00:04:40.000 Over at Red Bell Living!
00:04:43.000 Anyway, let's see a gorilla's balls.
00:04:46.000 All right.
00:04:48.000 Let me take a look at the sponsors.
00:04:49.000 Probably one of the best hardcore bands in New York was Gorilla Balls.
00:04:53.000 Yeah, that's not pubes.
00:04:55.000 Didn't we go over this meme the other day?
00:04:57.000 No.
00:04:58.000 Well, animals don't have pubes.
00:05:03.000 Pubes are a different type.
00:05:05.000 I'm just defining pubes right now for the first time ever.
00:05:09.000 Pubes have to be a different type of hair than your normal hair.
00:05:14.000 Now, I have relatively straight hair.
00:05:16.000 It actually gets to be kind of dewy, so I keep it back with a product called Razac, which is like industrial bro cream, which is for African-American women.
00:05:27.000 I use it on my hair, and it makes it less wavy.
00:05:30.000 But my hair is normal.
00:05:32.000 Ryan's hair is relatively normal.
00:05:34.000 Actually, do you have curly pubes?
00:05:38.000 They're not super curly.
00:05:41.000 Really?
00:05:41.000 This is a... You see that?
00:05:44.000 Yeah, shut the fuck up about your... No, I put a thing on it.
00:05:47.000 What's on it?
00:05:47.000 A star?
00:05:49.000 Yeah.
00:05:50.000 That looks way better.
00:05:51.000 That looks way less disgusting.
00:05:53.000 I know from being with Asian women, their pubes tend to be like a little punk rocker down there.
00:05:59.000 Do you have straight pubic hair?
00:06:01.000 No, it's more grungy.
00:06:03.000 What do you mean?
00:06:04.000 Like frizzy and dyed blue.
00:06:10.000 Tell us the truth, Ryan.
00:06:14.000 Are you checking?
00:06:15.000 You haven't seen it in a while?
00:06:18.000 My pubic hair is, like most people's pubic hair, it's Dunzo Washington's hair.
00:06:29.000 It's Dunzo Washington.
00:06:33.000 I thought I'd bring this.
00:06:35.000 Over to the show.
00:06:36.000 This is my bar bag.
00:06:39.000 You know how, during Prohibition, you would say a secret password?
00:06:44.000 This is how I go to my bars now.
00:06:46.000 I have abandoned the quarantine.
00:06:48.000 I have given up on- I don't wear a fucking mask.
00:06:52.000 I get a lot of bad looks, especially in my neighborhood.
00:06:56.000 I say, my body, my choice, when they stare at me.
00:07:00.000 Um, if they don't stare at me, I just go, baaaaah.
00:07:04.000 Like a sheep?
00:07:05.000 They wear masks in their car, with the windows up, and then they wear gloves.
00:07:12.000 Are you scared of giving it to yourself?
00:07:15.000 Anyway, I know people who own bars, and we want to party.
00:07:20.000 So what I do is I put this in my trunk when I go to the city, and the few bars where I know the owner, I go in and I just plop that on the shelf.
00:07:28.000 And I've noticed, by the way, because looky-loos, ladies will peer in the window.
00:07:33.000 And I've noticed this is a better write-off than this.
00:07:37.000 I don't think they know what a hammer is.
00:07:40.000 So you go like this and you have that in one hand, your beer in the other hand, right?
00:07:44.000 And then if they get near the door, you go... And the light helps.
00:07:51.000 They see the light and they're just like, oh, it's a contractor.
00:07:54.000 You son of a bitch.
00:07:57.000 It makes them less tattle-tally.
00:08:00.000 But they do love to tattle.
00:08:03.000 I can't wait.
00:08:04.000 The cops have been around my friend's bars.
00:08:07.000 $20,000 fine.
00:08:08.000 I think a lot of women are enjoying this quarantine.
00:08:13.000 It has been a boon for the nosy, busybody, tattletale community.
00:08:18.000 And isn't it bizarre, I know we don't like talking about this on the show, we don't talk about coronavirus on the show, chink in box, but isn't it bizarre that a pandemic is political?
00:08:30.000 Like, if you want to get back to work, you're a Republican.
00:08:32.000 You're conservative, you're pro-Trump.
00:08:34.000 If you want the quarantine to go longer, you're liberal.
00:08:38.000 It's a biological medical question.
00:08:40.000 How does it have a political affiliation?
00:08:43.000 And then I thought, okay, what about if there was unprecedented thunderstorms?
00:08:48.000 Like for the past month, it's thunderstormed every day, right?
00:08:54.000 We've never heard of that before.
00:08:56.000 It's like monsoon in North America.
00:08:58.000 What if that happened?
00:08:59.000 Could that be politicized?
00:09:00.000 And I bet it would.
00:09:02.000 I bet it would be blue-collar dudes, Trump dudes saying let's just get back to work we'll put on a raincoat and then the left saying this is Trump not paying attention to global warming and not supporting the EPA enough.
00:09:17.000 I think everything has become political.
00:09:21.000 What if no one bought watches anymore?
00:09:23.000 I just saw my own watch on the monitor.
00:09:26.000 Yeah, Trump has made us give up
00:09:29.000 On the next four years, people no longer care what time it is.
00:09:33.000 Liberals don't buy watches.
00:09:35.000 Republicans buy watches.
00:09:38.000 It is a disaster!
00:09:40.000 It's become sports.
00:09:43.000 I want the Yankees to fail.
00:09:45.000 And that's true, by the way.
00:09:47.000 When I say politics has become sports, I'm insulting politics.
00:09:52.000 Because sports is bad.
00:09:54.000 I'm not proud of myself.
00:09:56.000 I'm not proud that I want the Yankees to suffer.
00:09:58.000 You know how Bill Maher said he wanted the economy to be doing bad because it would be bad for Trump?
00:10:05.000 That's how I feel about the Yankees.
00:10:07.000 If they... Remember there was that plane crash that killed like an entire soccer team?
00:10:11.000 If that happened with the Yankees, I would cheer.
00:10:13.000 I'm unchristian when it comes to them.
00:10:20.000 We have a fun show for you today.
00:10:22.000 We're not going to go over the past week because people pay money for this show and to regurgitate things they've already eaten is a waste of time, but this is the half an hour we get to talk to you.
00:10:36.000 In front of the paywall.
00:10:38.000 I thought we had a pretty fun show.
00:10:39.000 We went through that dick meme, the black dick guy, and we rated 20 of those memes, decided which one was best.
00:10:47.000 We also had, um, Joe, what's his name?
00:10:50.000 Ganaskeoli?
00:10:52.000 Ganaskeoli, yeah.
00:10:53.000 Dennis Goley on the show he was Vito fat Vito gay Vito on Sopranos and we we got him because we were obsessed with that scene in the Sopranos we've been re-watching it where he catches they catch him at the don't show it YouTube will shut us down you're right they catch him at the gay bar and he goes guys they go
00:11:16.000 What are you doing?
00:11:18.000 And he goes, hey guys, I'm just, I'm here.
00:11:20.000 Yeah, I'm here.
00:11:21.000 I'm just here.
00:11:22.000 Which is not a great excuse.
00:11:25.000 And then, and then they go, what the fuck you doing, you a fag?
00:11:30.000 And he goes, it's a joke.
00:11:33.000 And he's got all the gear.
00:11:34.000 Like it's the most elaborate joke on earth.
00:11:37.000 He's got the hat.
00:11:38.000 Where were you guys?
00:11:39.000 We've been waiting this whole time.
00:11:40.000 Finally, you're here.
00:11:41.000 I felt like an asshole.
00:11:42.000 I had all these fucking fags all day.
00:11:44.000 I'll finally take this off after I fuck this guy.
00:11:46.000 Goddammit, I can relax.
00:11:49.000 But I did get jealous watching the video.
00:11:53.000 And I got jealous of Gaze.
00:11:57.000 Because it looks fun?
00:11:58.000 It looks so fun to go to a leather bar, like say you go to a leather bar with women everywhere and slutty woman would have like a leather thing and then you walk up with your leather shit on and you grab the hot chick in between her tits and just go, can I buy you a drink?
00:12:17.000 And she's like, sure, I'm a dumb slut.
00:12:19.000 You're like, all right.
00:12:22.000 Gays really have it great, don't they?
00:12:26.000 I feel like they just go home with each other so quickly that the place would empty out in like two hours.
00:12:30.000 Like, the party would end at nine.
00:12:31.000 No, then they come back.
00:12:33.000 Like, they fuck.
00:12:34.000 That's how they got AIDS.
00:12:35.000 They fuck everything that moves.
00:12:38.000 My wife, it worked in fashion for many years.
00:12:41.000 And she would, uh... She'd work with these gay dudes that were like... I'm actually getting super horny.
00:12:50.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:52.000 Well, I hope you're okay.
00:12:55.000 And they go, actually, I'm going to go get a fucking blowjob.
00:13:00.000 They would get up and just wander around Soho, meet someone.
00:13:04.000 This isn't at a gay bar.
00:13:05.000 This isn't even in a gay neighborhood.
00:13:07.000 Soho isn't necessarily gay.
00:13:09.000 It's not Chelsea or the West Village.
00:13:12.000 And they would just go meet someone.
00:13:13.000 They do their little look.
00:13:18.000 That's like a secret handshake.
00:13:21.000 He'd go get a beach and then just be back to work like, ah, anyway, what are we doing now?
00:13:25.000 We're setting up for the party on Thursday.
00:13:29.000 Sounds good to me.
00:13:30.000 I felt worthless.
00:13:32.000 I felt ugly.
00:13:32.000 I felt gay.
00:13:34.000 You are worthless, ugly, and gay in the negative sense.
00:13:37.000 Look at his fucking outfit.
00:13:40.000 Oh, we had Zuby on the show.
00:13:42.000 We interviewed Zuby today in a pre-interview.
00:13:47.000 That we'll show on Monday or something.
00:13:49.000 Great guy.
00:13:49.000 Interesting guy.
00:13:50.000 His dad is Nigerian.
00:13:52.000 He's a doctor and he lived in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.
00:13:56.000 Here's the deal as far as Earth goes.
00:13:59.000 If you come from a hellhole like Africa and then you live in an oven like Saudi Arabia as a doctor saving lives,
00:14:08.000 You're good now for life.
00:14:09.000 You can eat babies.
00:14:11.000 I don't care.
00:14:12.000 Here's a bazooka.
00:14:14.000 You can do whatever you want.
00:14:15.000 You have infinite cars.
00:14:17.000 Like, Zuby and his father, go ahead.
00:14:21.000 You can use a helicopter to get to work.
00:14:24.000 I said that as a joke, but that's what killed Kobe, right?
00:14:27.000 Yeah.
00:14:28.000 He said, traffic is a bitch.
00:14:29.000 I want to just take a helicopter.
00:14:31.000 The guy died of hating traffic at the end of the day.
00:14:34.000 Anyway, we haven't aired it yet.
00:14:37.000 We'll air it next week, but here's a little salty taste.
00:14:43.000 The north of Nigeria would be far more dangerous, for example.
00:14:47.000 If someone was gay in Nigeria, would someone talking to them say, why are you gay?
00:14:54.000 Oh, like the Ugandan interviewer.
00:14:57.000 You are gay.
00:14:58.000 That was the best interview in the world.
00:15:02.000 I am not gay.
00:15:04.000 Why is the African accent so fun to do and why are you beating him?
00:15:11.000 Confusion of the highest order.
00:15:13.000 That was the best line in that whole thing.
00:15:15.000 Who is going to pay for it?
00:15:17.000 If you hang out with that boy, he's going to stab you and you will die and we have a funeral and who is going to pay for it?
00:15:23.000 Is that how your dad talks?
00:15:28.000 Sorry?
00:15:29.000 Is that how your dad talks?
00:15:30.000 Does he have that accent?
00:15:32.000 No, my dad does not talk like that.
00:15:33.000 Oh, that's too bad.
00:15:35.000 No.
00:15:35.000 Um, well, I can't even remember.
00:15:37.000 I can't remember what the, what the question was.
00:15:38.000 Zuby, why are you talking to a hit man?
00:15:44.000 And it went on like that.
00:15:45.000 By the way, have you noticed my shirt is, um, and you can't show this cause we're in on YouTube thin ice, but, uh, Robert De Niro in Cape Fear.
00:15:55.000 Ah,
00:15:58.000 Is that like a prop or like you got one that just like it?
00:16:01.000 Yeah, like when you draw conclusions.
00:16:03.000 What do you mean is that a prop?
00:16:04.000 Like is that meant to be from Cape Fear?
00:16:06.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 Oh, okay.
00:16:08.000 Where do you get stuff like that?
00:16:09.000 You Google Robert De Niro's shirt in Cape Fear.
00:16:13.000 It will come up with an ad and you click on it and give them your credit card.
00:16:16.000 There it is.
00:16:18.000 Wow.
00:16:19.000 I think it's also the wallpaper in Scarface, which is weird.
00:16:25.000 Is that on purpose?
00:16:27.000 Who knows?
00:16:28.000 Is one shouting the other out?
00:16:31.000 Oh, there we go.
00:16:31.000 Wow.
00:16:34.000 That's like an exact replica.
00:16:36.000 Now, our next sponsor is, now that we're at 15 minutes in, is Heshy Socks.
00:16:40.000 Oh yeah, there's a commercial for that.
00:16:42.000 You made a commercial for Heshy Socks.
00:16:44.000 I did.
00:16:45.000 And I don't think it'd be fair if I didn't make one for the other one, so I guess those are coming?
00:16:49.000 Should we hit it?
00:16:50.000 Yep.
00:16:53.000 Are you tired of looking through your sock collection and realizing all your socks are shitty and stinky?
00:16:58.000 Well fret no more, because Heshy Socks are functional and fashionable.
00:17:02.000 And for a limited time only, you can step into these bad boys for 20% off using promo code GAVIN.
00:17:08.000 Just go to HeshyWear.com, promo code GAVIN.
00:17:11.000 Thanks Heshy Socks!
00:17:13.000 That's the worst commercial I've ever seen.
00:17:16.000 The audio's coming through really good here, but yeah, you're right.
00:17:18.000 No, I heard the music, but weren't you supposed to say, don't you hate when you're going through... Yeah, yeah.
00:17:23.000 Was that in it?
00:17:24.000 Yeah, it's in the headphones only.
00:17:25.000 Isn't that weird?
00:17:28.000 No, I don't need to hear it now.
00:17:30.000 So there's narration saying, don't you hate when your socks are all... And did you say poopy?
00:17:30.000 Yeah, I swear to heaven.
00:17:35.000 No, I said shitty.
00:17:36.000 Okay.
00:17:36.000 Cause we're... Risker.
00:17:40.000 Edgy.
00:17:42.000 Heshysocks.com.
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00:17:50.000 That implies intercourse.
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00:18:04.000 Heshy socks look great and they are affordable.
00:18:07.000 Right now, my listeners get 20% off orders.
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00:18:14.000 Use promo code GAVIN and get free shipping for all orders over $45.
00:18:20.000 That's heshysocks.com.
00:18:22.000 Promo code GAVIN.
00:18:24.000 And by the way, behind the paywall, which happens in about 10 minutes, I'm giving away two pairs of Heshy socks to caller one and two.
00:18:32.000 Other major giveaways going too.
00:18:37.000 By the way, before we started this show, we were kind of on a feminist bend.
00:18:43.000 Feminist tangent.
00:18:44.000 We were watching Nikki Glaser roast people and appear on Conan.
00:18:50.000 And though we say women aren't funny, we're obviously not retards and we're aware of exceptions.
00:18:56.000 And Nikki Glaser is an exception.
00:18:58.000 She's especially good at the roasts.
00:19:00.000 You can tell she wrote the jokes herself.
00:19:03.000 High quality human.
00:19:05.000 Really sad that she's not married.
00:19:07.000 I hate hearing her jokes about being skull fucked and being a useless slut that, uh,
00:19:13.000 Nobody wants anymore.
00:19:15.000 That's pathetic.
00:19:16.000 And we were also listening to the Cocteau Twins, where I think that their song, Pearly Dew Drops, is just based on phonetics.
00:19:27.000 I don't think that song means anything.
00:19:30.000 Pearly, pearly, pearly, pearly, likey, likey, dew drops too.
00:19:34.000 Can we dare play that?
00:19:34.000 Scottish band.
00:19:36.000 That's probably going to be the worst hit of all.
00:19:38.000 Like, have you played Sopranos?
00:19:41.000 They might not be able to find that as easy as a song.
00:19:46.000 Oh, come on.
00:19:47.000 Just play it.
00:19:48.000 Okay.
00:19:49.000 Okay.
00:19:50.000 The Pearly Dew Drops.
00:19:50.000 So what is it called?
00:19:52.000 Pearly Dew Drops.
00:19:54.000 It's weird because I'm saying we would have made that our intro song, but we don't want to get a ding, but here I am playing it anyway.
00:20:06.000 But I don't think any other band has done this where they just made
00:20:10.000 The words, an instrument.
00:20:13.000 She has no interest in conveying any information.
00:20:23.000 By the way, when you subscribe to Censored.TV, we go through the opening song and discuss it and compare it to other songs and have a gay old time.
00:20:31.000 There's a lot of music on our show.
00:20:37.000 What is she out of ten?
00:20:38.000 Five?
00:20:44.000 She's Glaswegian.
00:20:46.000 Here we go.
00:20:49.000 Are you trying to fade in and out so they won't catch us?
00:20:51.000 No, so I can hear you talk.
00:20:53.000 Here we go.
00:21:04.000 That's it.
00:21:05.000 God, Scottish people are so intelligent.
00:21:07.000 That wasn't, that didn't mean anything.
00:21:09.000 The pearly, pearly, pearly, pearly judups.
00:21:11.000 Lucky, lucky, lucky.
00:21:12.000 She's just making sounds.
00:21:13.000 It's like an onomatopoeia type of thing.
00:21:15.000 Anyway, that's two wonderful women we have showcased on the show before we got to the show.
00:21:20.000 Nikki Glaser and the chick who sings for Cocteau Twins.
00:21:27.000 Let's dive into the news.
00:21:28.000 Now, before we get to the news, my parents are losing their fucking minds.
00:21:33.000 And they are calling me, incessantly, uh, with conspiracy theories.
00:21:39.000 But it's weird because my parents are anti-conspiracy theory.
00:21:43.000 So, they'll tell you something that sounds like a smoking gun, and you'll go, oh, so 9-11 was an inside job, and they'll go, oh for fuck's sakes!
00:21:52.000 I had hoped you had a higher IQ than that.
00:21:55.000 Pathetic, my boy.
00:21:59.000 Anyway, here's a typical example.
00:22:00.000 They get involved in everything.
00:22:03.000 Waco, my mom's obsessed with Waco.
00:22:05.000 You see what's going on with Waco, by the way?
00:22:07.000 Like, how'd they have to burn it down?
00:22:09.000 And Hillary Clinton was involved.
00:22:12.000 You heard of this woman, Charlene Lam?
00:22:15.000 And they'll send me links, like, of Charlene Lam, but it'll be the Wikipedia homepage.
00:22:20.000 And you're like, Mom, you sent me the homepage of Wikipedia.
00:22:23.000 I need the specific page you were on.
00:22:26.000 So then they end up, like, copying and pasting the text and then putting that in an email.
00:22:32.000 Because they can't figure out how to send a fucking URL.
00:22:35.000 Hey mom and dad, I know you watch the show.
00:22:37.000 Go to the top bar.
00:22:40.000 Clickety click it like crazy until it's all blue.
00:22:43.000 Then say copy.
00:22:45.000 Now put that in an email.
00:22:49.000 How long have we had the internet for?
00:22:53.000 Anyway, they're sending me all this fucking crap.
00:22:57.000 Hundreds and hundreds of piles of basically breakfast cereal.
00:23:00.000 And I have to sort through all these Froot Loops for something.
00:23:03.000 And I'm going through it going, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
00:23:06.000 They'll go back, by the way, to World War I and stuff.
00:23:08.000 So there'll be some coup in France in 1912 I'm supposed to give a shit about.
00:23:14.000 But as I'm sifting through this crap, just like in Animal House, where they find the carbon copy for the test.
00:23:21.000 Remember when D-Day and Bluto are trying to find the fake test?
00:23:26.000 And eventually they come out of the dumpster and they go, we got it!
00:23:31.000 By the way, it was planted there by their enemies.
00:23:34.000 It's not the actual carbon copy.
00:23:36.000 There you go.
00:23:38.000 But I had kind of a moment where he sent me this shit and I was like, Hey, stupid old man, stop sending me your garbage.
00:23:48.000 And then I sort of went, actually, this is, this is kind of something.
00:24:00.000 I didn't know about this, but have you ever heard of Schaefer?
00:24:06.000 What's his name?
00:24:08.000 Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Schaefer.
00:24:10.000 This is 1-4.
00:24:12.000 So this is a guy who worked for a company called...
00:24:21.000 Well, he worked for the Defense Intelligence Agency, which is essentially a division of the CIA.
00:24:26.000 And his group was called the Able Danger, uh, whatever, Agency Commission Group Project.
00:24:33.000 And they were researching terrorism in 2000.
00:24:39.000 In 2000, they discovered a guy named Mohammed Atta.
00:24:44.000 Who looked like he might get up to some mischief soon.
00:24:49.000 He might get up to some trouble.
00:24:51.000 And here is my dad's cut-and-pasted Wikipedia thing where he says, according to his later statement in Congress, October 20, 2003, Schaefer told the 9-11 Commission that Staff Director Philip D. Zekal that in 2000, a DIA data mining program known as AbleDanger had uncovered two of the three
00:25:14.000 Terrorist cells which the FBI determined committed 9-11.
00:25:17.000 Schaefer reportedly told Z Zalikow that DIA leadership declined to share his information with the FBI because military lawyers expressed concerns about the legality of doing so.
00:25:31.000 This is when your crazy parents that send you garbage all day
00:25:36.000 Become pretty good researchers.
00:25:39.000 Maybe all of you 9-11 conspiracists have heard of this before.
00:25:43.000 This is the first time I've come across this guy.
00:25:46.000 Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Schaefer.
00:25:48.000 He predicted 9-11.
00:25:51.000 And he identified two of the three cells involved in the attack, including one of the fucking pilots, Muhammad Atta.
00:25:58.000 And the FBI said, no, no, we're not doing this.
00:26:02.000 Now here's the craziest part.
00:26:04.000 Schaffer published memoirs of his time as a reports officer in Afghanistan in a book titled Operation Dark Heart.
00:26:11.000 Schaffer claims that the Defense Department attempted to preserve secrecy of revelations made by the book by buying up and destroying all 10,000 copies of the book's first uncensored run before allowing for the release of a second, heavily censored printing.
00:26:31.000 Not bad, you bald asshole, who looks like a turtle with AIDS.
00:26:38.000 So that's my two cents for this show.
00:26:42.000 I want to catch up on the mail.
00:26:44.000 We have an unprecedented number of letters because people are sitting on their asses and we get like maybe 200 a day.
00:26:51.000 Don't worry, we're not getting there quite yet.
00:26:53.000 We get 200 a day and I only answer three a show.
00:26:57.000 So I'm hoping to sort of shovel our way out of this mess from 9.30 to 10 and then we'll take calls at 10.
00:27:03.000 We're going to cut you freebies off.
00:27:06.000 By the way, Heshy Socks sent me like three pairs, and they sent Milo about twenty pairs.
00:27:14.000 Ouch.
00:27:16.000 The fuck does that mean?
00:27:18.000 Sounds like they sent you twenty and sent him two.
00:27:21.000 Sounds like he's better for their brand.
00:27:24.000 That hurts.
00:27:25.000 And if you like Milo more than me, and you think he's more dapper, maybe you should take that as a good sign.
00:27:32.000 Alright, so let's
00:27:35.000 Begin to go behind the paywall.
00:27:38.000 We've done Red Pill Living.
00:27:39.000 We've done Heffy.
00:27:40.000 Let's go back to our favorite sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
00:27:45.000 The best CBD in the world.
00:27:48.000 They just introduced a strawberry tincture and a vanilla tincture, which are en route to the studio.
00:27:53.000 I can't wait to test these new flavors.
00:27:55.000 Right now, my listeners receive 20% off all Johnny Apple orders.
00:27:59.000 Go to JACBD.com.
00:28:02.000 Use promo code Gavin.
00:28:03.000 Can't sleep?
00:28:05.000 Eat some Johnny Apple gummies.
00:28:07.000 Workout recovery issues?
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00:28:11.000 Just want to feel good?
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00:28:21.000 That's J-A-C-B-D dot com and use promo code Gavin.
00:28:25.000 By the way, to the guy who writes this copy, you don't have to write W-W-W dot.
00:28:31.000 We haven't said that as a culture since 1996, maybe?
00:28:41.000 Um, yes.
00:28:42.000 So, thank you, JACBD.com, for promoting this show, for sponsoring this show.
00:28:47.000 You were one of the first, you're one of the steadiest, we like you more than a friend.
00:28:52.000 Alright, we're now going to drift behind the paywall, we're going to answer some mail, and, um, we're also going to do a Heshy Socks giveaway.
00:29:04.000 Uh, should they do any three things?
00:29:07.000 Maybe get fired?
00:29:09.000 Oh yeah.
00:29:10.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:29:14.000 So again, that was from Censored.TV.
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