On this week's episode of Get Off My Lawn, the boys are back in Los Angeles for a live show at The Comedy Cellar. They're joined by special guest and friend of the show, Max and John. The boys talk about a variety of topics, including Max's recent trip to the ER, John's pants size problem, and much more.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:03:25.000Here's what you do when you buy pants.
00:03:27.000And buying pants, I don't like Mark Marin, but he wrote a great article for the New York Times magazine about how hard it is for men to find pants.
00:12:53.000You're not you at the gym if you just had a coffee.
00:12:57.000You should have the workout that your non-coffee Body wants you to have, and that's a lot more sort of measured rather than just coming in.
00:13:06.000And then you're so those have been my two big changes.
00:13:11.000And thank God this fucking heat wave is over.
00:13:16.000And that's what I was trying to say earlier.
00:13:17.000I've learned in these shows that to have a bunch of links and news items and do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, breaking news, it doesn't work with this short segment when we're cutting to ads and stuff.
00:13:29.000So this is all just shooting the shit, but that's not typical of the show.
00:13:32.000The show is usually, for you don't, those who don't subscribe, just me sneezing for an hour and a half.
00:13:42.000No, the show is usually, here's a general topic, and then we go through all these examples and pull this up and have you notice this pattern here.
00:13:49.000I'm very, very happy with yesterday's show where we're talking about this Sikh who was talking about George Washington, and he was doing some hip-hop thing because he's a rapper named Houdini.
00:13:59.000And he was like, yo, America was built on racism.
00:14:46.000You know at the end of that video where he says, and Bollywood, we don't need your support until you address your casteism, sexism, blah, blah, blah.
00:14:54.000The whole script is clearly written by a white guy who was trying to sound black.
00:14:57.000But I think that white guy who wrote it doesn't realize that Sikhs live in Punjab, which is not in India.
00:15:03.000There's India, there's Punjab, and there's Pakistan.
00:16:51.000George Washington's wife, the first lady, she's been reincarnated as this guy that she dated in New York who looks exactly like George Washington's wife.
00:17:03.000The guy looks like George Washington's wife.
00:18:20.000The man on the face of the $20 bill is the same man who once offered up to 325 times that amount for the return of a runaway enslaved person.
00:19:02.000We're just going to go through a whole bunch of riot footage and, you know, determine patterns through it because you need space to breathe to do that.
00:19:11.000But mid-roll, I would like to say thank you to Johnny Apple CBD, our longest running sponsor.
00:19:21.000Johnny Apple CBD is my CBD because Johnny Apple CBD is effective, affordable, and Patriot-owned.
00:19:26.000We're huge fans of Johnny Apple CBD at Censored.tv.
00:19:29.000Right now, my listeners get 20% off all Johnny Apple CBD orders.
00:19:34.000So you go to jacbd.com, use promo code Gavin, and the gummies help you sleep at night.
00:19:41.000Tinctures take the jitters out of the coffee in the morning and help with hangovers.
00:19:45.000And the top of the cream is the perfect post-workout remedy, especially after boxing.
00:19:50.000jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders support patreon own business support people who support us feel as great as i do jacbd.com promo code gap that's our only sponsor this show what yeah maybe we're maybe we're on our way out we're yet another business that was closed down by covid um yeah so tomorrow we'll go through uh a bunch of riot footage and
00:20:21.000oh here's another thing another thing i've done recently so i would be lying in bed on my phone looking at andrew no's twitter and watching actual public free count just seeing riot after riot after riot then you go to bed and you feel like shit so i got this new app again this is uh this is a free promotion they'd never they'd never be associated with this show anyway it's called pray pray.com pray believe receive cool
00:20:52.000and what you do is it's got all these things to fall asleep to it's got a million different things pray nightly all this but i got like the beginning the story of noah abram to to abraham and you just fall asleep as someone softly amsr tells you the bible they got james darth vader reading the bible oh that's good i'm your father jesus luke 17.
00:21:16.000so that's cool that's what i was doing the night ones i'm not interested in james earl jones it's free no i actually i don't know how much it is i'm rich oh man it's not expensive why are you saying it's free you waste so much money if it is anything it's gonna be like 4.99 and you're probably wearing like uh 400 cigar shoes so now you're just blending all of my bad habits together no no no i've been i haven't bought anything online in months well not months feels like
00:26:18.000or something right now because this is strictly for the dads.
00:26:37.000And God knows how long he's been on the road.
00:26:39.000He probably came from like fucking your neck of the woods, Newburgh or whatever, you know, with all his, and he's in traffic and he's on the FDR.
00:32:30.000and then you don't realize how loud you are when you're yelling at a window in a gym, and then I turn around and everyone's like, What the fuck?
00:40:23.000And then they say, oh, this is, I even saw Joy Reed the other day say, these are white supremacists infiltrating these peaceful protests and turning them into riots.
00:41:33.000If you take a look and you notice that the DAs are not charging people, that means that they are complicit.
00:41:38.000So what I also noticed, if you notice that BLM got a big payout from the Chicago PD in 2012 because of a staged protest there for quote-unquote police brutality,
00:41:54.000I suspect that there's some sort of shakedown element.
00:41:58.000Go back to, what was it, Rahm Emanuel?
00:42:35.000And I think they're so desperate because he has done so well that I think that they're organizing this as a big shakedown.
00:42:42.000I think they're trying to get money out of the local PDs.
00:42:44.000Notice it's all these really liberal jurisdictions that have extreme laws against any sort of police use of force.
00:42:51.000Portland, Seattle, Chicago, New York, Wright, Boston.
00:42:57.000And I think what it is is these liberal litigators that are in bed with BLM.
00:43:03.000I think that they're using this as a shakedown.
00:43:05.000And notice they're using extreme brutality.
00:43:08.000I think these kids are getting these local indigents ramped up on mess.
00:43:14.000And they're attacking the police, hoping that the police will use some form of brutality against them so that they can sue, they can get some money.
00:43:20.000And I think that they're also completely organized.
00:43:22.000I bet if you follow these sneaky little trailbrecks, you're going to find Rob Emmanuel, BLM, likely to be alone at the head of the snake.
00:43:31.000Like instead of this massive Soros conspiracy, this could be as simple as a cabal of litigators who make millions suing the cops, saying, let's get more violence from cops, force their hand, and then we can sue more.
00:43:45.000Because I noticed at the BLM rally in New York, there were these sort of chubby lesbian lawyers who had made all their signs.
00:43:53.000They were handing them out to everyone.
00:43:55.000And I thought, why are all of these BLM Antifa things run by these lesbian lawyers?
00:44:02.000And then now I'm realizing through you that they could be, their bread and butter could be suing the police.
00:44:18.000It's all those dirty liberal litigators.
00:44:22.000It all goes back to Chicago because BLM was created because of the Obamas, and all that money filters right back to the DNC where it gets laundered.
00:45:02.000It's sort of like when I had Damien, what's his name from the Memphis 3 on my show, and he seems like a cool guy, but there's a little part of my head going, please, God, don't tell me you killed those kids.
00:45:13.000I asked Anthony, he said the exact same thing was going through his head.
00:45:25.000So while we're talking to you about a very serious thing, like say your accountant is a hot woman with big tits, you're going through everything.
00:45:32.000But a part of your brain is like, I wonder what you'd look like with lingerie on all what I would do to you.
00:45:51.000About that, the litigator stuff is that Trump gave $45 million to Wisconsin after the Kenosha stuff to rebuild, but he said a lot of that's going to go to new prosecutors.
00:46:59.000She's a big, busty, big, busted Jewrod.
00:47:03.000And she's one of these fairies that appears when Antifa gets arrested.
00:47:08.000Now, before that phone call, I'm like, the Soros octopus up here has these little lawyers doing everything.
00:47:18.000But now I'm like, wait a minute, you don't need an octopus up here.
00:47:21.000Just the tentacle could be its own thing.
00:47:24.000And it's possible that these lawyers have banded together and say, let's make sure we always protect Antifa and anyone who messes with cops.
00:47:34.000This guy attacked a cop's horse, I believe.
00:48:14.000And it's possible that her and friends, like, they don't even need, you could just be like 10, 10 people, and they take a portion of their salary and it goes to signs.
00:48:24.000You'll notice at all these rallies, all their signs are the same.
00:48:27.000I've seen, when I was with Project Veritas, we went undercover.
00:48:29.000I went undercover on a Black Lives Matter thing at Grand Central, and I saw their signs.
00:48:33.000And I saw the lesbians, and they all look like Cohen over there.
00:49:17.000He's reading what used to be a write-up for Moira before she vanished.
00:49:21.000Northern and Western Districts of New York, the Western District of Virginia, Proact Weiss, say North Dakota, North Dakota, hold degrees from University of Michigan, University of that's basically it.
00:50:58.000Like guys who cheat on their girlfriends, they'll be so indignant when they're fighting about it, they'll forget that they're actually guilty.
01:00:14.000The way to donate to Justice for Liberty is to either go to Gavin's Doodles and make a donation on their donation box or bid on one of the doodles.
01:00:23.000I think the next wave is going to be John's drawings.
01:00:26.000And I hope those do well because whether you like Proud Boys or not or even believe in this cause, it's cool to have a prison drawing.
01:04:27.000He's defending himself against a domestic terrorist organization, Antifa, who decided that the night of the speech that my husband attended, that they were going to vandalize the club and leave a manifesto promising more violence.
01:09:44.000Did you hear about this Antifa dude who he had a flamethrower and he'd been arrested a bunch of times, but luckily he had big tip Cohen types to save his ass.
01:09:55.000And then they finally got him and he was in the fetal position crying his eyes out.
01:14:32.000I think that a lot of people have to fuck up to him.
01:14:36.000I think he's a very prominent figure in the alternative scene.
01:14:41.000And a lot of people, if they want to really be accepted, somehow there's just like this aura about him that makes people want to just gravitate towards him.
01:14:53.000And I don't know if you know him or not or come across him.
01:15:59.000If you call in, you're going to want to listen to the phone feed because you could hear the show while you wait on the line, and then you won't have to wait for the delay.
01:16:07.000So anybody hearing that now, anybody 45 seconds in the future?
01:16:12.000This is that Mr. Show sketch of the live call-in show.
01:17:06.000So my question is, I'm curious of the mental and physical approaches in both of yours' best courting experiences for Gavin, preferably what you've done to win over and or do currently with your wife in a chivalrous regard and Ryan's most memorable,
01:18:25.000I guess to answer your question, my thing with courting women is, first of all, I make it very clear that I'm bananas about you.
01:18:34.000Obviously, you have to get in the door first before you establish that.
01:18:37.000You can't walk up to a woman and say, holy shit, you're so fucking hot.
01:18:40.000So there's your friends and their friends, and they know people, and you guys end up with your crew sort of starting to mix with their crew.
01:18:46.000So you got to be a social person to begin with to just set up the whole concept.
01:18:51.000But now you're out and about and you're doing this and doing that.
01:18:54.000And so as soon as there's like a doodly-doo joke, a diddly-dee joke, a song in the jukebox, a selfie.
01:19:00.000Ryan's actually very good at cold call, cold calling chicks.
01:19:35.000And then my famous one I keep telling guys is say you can't look at them and just be like, okay, I'm trying to tell this story, but you're too pretty.
01:19:42.000So we walked in there on Thursday and then they giggle, blah, blah, blah.
01:19:46.000And then when you get them home, it's kind of heavy, right?
01:22:05.000There's a shitty tit scene in it where we made these prosthetic tits that are just disgusting.
01:22:10.000So then, when she has these hairy nipples and like zits on them and stuff, you're talking to her and you're like, I'm kind of a cool guy for talking to this circus freak who's actually hideous.
01:22:20.000I'm actually a nice, sweet person speaking to this woman who's deformed.
01:24:45.000You know, remember when in the 80s, apartheid was a big thing, a big problem, and all these artists got together and they did Ain't Gonna Play Sun City.
01:24:58.000And it was Bruce Springsteen and the Ramones.
01:25:00.000Separation of families is Ronald Reagan's plan.
01:29:54.000How are you going to survive in the music business if you're not a total communist putz?
01:30:01.000Well, I've been rent music for a while and I've been an emo fan.
01:30:08.000And I went through music school and I actually went through being like blacklisted in college because college is just run by feminist clubs.
01:30:19.000And then I decided like, fuck it, I'm just going to make music that's true to my soul.
01:30:23.000And when I saw what happened with Kyle, I was jamming with my friend and I was like, boom, boom, boom, boom.
01:30:38.000It's amazing how many musicians have been canceled for thought crimes.
01:30:44.000And they're not, it's not, I'm not talking about KKK crimes.
01:30:47.000I'm talking about like, I don't know, I don't hate Trump.
01:31:01.000Yeah, it was like all the bands that played on like the Million Dollar Extreme Show, all the ones that like denounced it, ended up sucking, but John Mouse is the only one who didn't and he's doing better than ever.
01:31:15.000So it's like fuck it, I won't cave into the mob.
01:35:06.000But he, yeah, he just, I don't know, he doesn't have kind of control over what this Premier does over the state.
01:35:18.000It's probably very similar to what Trump does with letting these Democrat cities do what they do and not kind of interfering, not interfering as much in what goes on within the state.
01:35:33.000So yeah, I mean, one thing our Prime Minister did do with Victoria was rip up all these contracts that Victoria had signed with the Chinese government to basically come in under that Belt and Road initiative.
01:35:50.000So he's done that, but in terms of what's going on in Victoria at the moment, it's a joke.
01:36:01.000Might it make the locals so angry that it ends up being good for the right?
01:36:08.000Yeah, it could actually, because if I'm taking a bit of a straw poll from people, I'm kind of, like I've got a lot of left-wing friends.
01:36:18.000They're not as into Devin McGinnis as I might be.
01:36:25.000But they're slowly kind of turning and seeing that these left-wing governments are not that good.
01:36:33.000But mind you, I also know a lot of people that are really for these lockdowns and it's just amazing.
01:36:40.000And for me, it's like looking at a separation between people that don't have any skin in the game, can go to work and just stay in their pajamas all day.
01:45:09.000But anyway, we had a Back the Blue march last weekend in my city, and it was hilarious.
01:45:19.000The only, there was no organized resistance, but we did have an Antifa photographer there.
01:45:25.000He was trying very hard to blend in in his black block, but with like a vintage green military jacket with like a bunch of different patches on it.
01:49:15.000Actually, he did stand up, did he not?
01:49:18.000All right, let's go look at his fucking erection.
01:49:21.000By the way, when I was talking about that on the other day's show, I forgot to mention we were talking about crying, and I didn't finish my point.
01:49:30.000The main guy who's competing with Felix is this Asian dude who is severely autistic.
01:49:39.000And they interview the parents trying to deal with their autistic son, and you just can't not cry.
01:51:05.000So I can still hear a little bit of the echo, but I just wanted to tell Gab that he is basically the Rolling Stones.
01:51:16.000When they forget their songs, he forgot his own story about the Sesame seeds, not about the Pakistani guy, the saying about the Muslims and the Sikhs.
01:55:24.000That's the beauty of working at a photographer's studio.
01:55:28.000You end up with a disproportionate number of hot chicks, and eventually one of them is not going to care that you look like an anti-Semitic cartoon.
01:55:43.000I got a new girlfriend, and I'm trying to show her the show, and she's loving it so far.
01:56:05.000I know you don't like suggestions, but like a special episode just for reviewing the original videos of the video drops because I'm trying to explain all these video drops in context to her.
01:56:15.000And she loves the joke parts, the drop parts, but like, fuck, there would just be so much gold in going back through the Mikey video and the French guy video, the commercial, the fucking, just, I mean, the main show, maybe the greatest hits of video drops.
01:59:56.000Well, I mean, somebody just bought 46 acres or something, but I mean, might as well have, you know, at least 8,500 acres, something like that.
02:00:11.000You know, have 10 square miles, 12 square miles.
02:00:59.000It's a squeaky motherfucker right there.
02:01:03.000Yeah, it's a crazy time we're living in.
02:01:04.000I think this is the first time in my life I've ever seen more segregation and more separation between blacks and whites.
02:01:14.000Like when I was a kid in the 70s, it wasn't a thing.
02:01:18.000If you had a black couple at your parents' birthday party, no one would go, oh, who are they?
02:01:24.000They would more just go, like, she has frizzy hair.
02:01:31.000Well, we only went to school with like 10 black kids, honestly.
02:01:35.000And then the other half were like, you know, Latinos or Mexicans mostly.
02:01:41.000Yeah, now if you like, you have a black, you bring a black person to a thing, or a black person brings a white person to a thing, you've done some crazy, like it's a big statement, it's a big to-do.
02:03:03.000You know, the solution isn't to separate people.
02:03:06.000The solution is to bring people together around the idea of America to get rid of the fucking Democrats and the fucking communists and get everybody focused on the same thing, pushing the same direction.