Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #76

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's get off my lawn with the heart.

00:00:39.000 Holiday edition.

00:00:46.000 Fuck you.

00:00:46.000 I own the company, bitch.

00:00:58.000 I don't know if it's too late.

00:00:59.000 They might have another drop.

00:01:00.000 Yeah, let's do it.

00:01:19.000 That was Indila.

00:01:23.000 Indila.

00:01:24.000 And she is the voice behind the hottest trend in India right now, which is listening to a remix of that song and making a funny face that sounds that looks like the Joker.

00:01:40.000 As you may have noticed, I'm drunk, so we'll be sort of flopping back and forth from efficient to inefficient on today's episode.

00:01:49.000 I already forgot the book of the day.

00:01:53.000 Let's use this book.

00:01:54.000 Gaylord Phoenix.

00:01:57.000 Some guy...

00:01:59.000 I did a couple transactions in my time that were completely cash-based and I couldn't pay the IRS.

00:02:05.000 So I bought a lot of shit.

00:02:07.000 And one of my things was collecting books.

00:02:10.000 So this is one of the books I bought.

00:02:13.000 And it's just an illustrated book by a guy named Gaylord Phoenix.

00:02:16.000 It's really good.

00:02:17.000 And I'll never look at it again.

00:02:21.000 I think my daughter will one day if she goes to art school.

00:02:26.000 That'll be the book.

00:02:28.000 Let's leave it alone.

00:02:33.000 But yeah, we got obsessed with the Indian Joker last night.

00:02:39.000 And not last night.

00:02:41.000 Two days ago.

00:02:41.000 And then made it the thrust of yesterday's show, The Crux.

00:02:46.000 And we finally tracked down the song.

00:02:49.000 It's a French song by this woman in Dila, and I don't like it.

00:02:54.000 Here's why.

00:02:55.000 It's a good song.

00:02:56.000 I love it.

00:02:59.000 I don't like her Arabic singing.

00:03:02.000 See, this is the end of Paris.

00:03:17.000 That's fine.

00:03:36.000 Working up that part.

00:03:41.000 Would you just walk up the hill?

00:03:52.000 It reminds me of Pakistan's Nusrat Fatah Ali Khan and his Qawwali singing.

00:03:59.000 Look up Nusrat Fatah Ali Khan.

00:04:07.000 We got a letter from.

00:04:08.000 Oh shit.

00:04:10.000 What kind of singing?

00:04:10.000 Nusrat Fata Ali Khan.

00:04:13.000 Singing.

00:04:15.000 Nusrat N-U-S-R-E-T Fata Ali Khan.

00:04:26.000 It's called Kawali singing.

00:04:28.000 They have this like, shaky shit.

00:04:37.000 No, ignore Peter Gabriel, dude.

00:04:40.000 Jump right to Nusrit.

00:04:43.000 Kawali singing.

00:04:45.000 There we go.

00:05:00.000 Hear that?

00:05:03.000 And I smell that in that song.

00:05:09.000 It's got an element in that.

00:05:10.000 I didn't think it was French at first.

00:05:12.000 I thought it was just Arabic.

00:05:13.000 Right, that's bad.

00:05:14.000 And she is like Armenian, Syrian, Pakistani, French.

00:05:18.000 She's a million different races.

00:05:20.000 Okay, we just open a letter from John, and it is...

00:05:23.000 Whoa.

00:05:25.000 Sidney Powell.

00:05:27.000 Surrounded by a bunch of emojis.

00:05:32.000 Beautiful.

00:05:33.000 XOXO love.

00:05:34.000 Bay.

00:05:35.000 Divine.

00:05:36.000 Amazing.

00:05:36.000 OMG.

00:05:38.000 That's amazing.

00:05:39.000 What a phenomenally weird drawing from a guy in prison.

00:05:47.000 Speaking of John, he's in a Snapple commercial someone sent in.

00:05:52.000 And it's funny because he's born and raised Chicago and he's like, New Yorkers love Snapple.

00:05:58.000 It's our favorite shit over here.

00:06:00.000 He'd lived in New York when he made this commercial for like a week.

00:06:07.000 America, New Yorkers love all natural Snapple and we want you to love it too.

00:06:13.000 Snapple's born in New York.

00:06:14.000 It's one tradition that's never gone out of style.

00:06:17.000 That's not probably not from New York either.

00:06:26.000 Every time I open this and I hear that pop.

00:06:31.000 New Yorkers love it.

00:06:32.000 You're going to love it too.

00:06:33.000 Snapple made from the best stuff on earth.

00:06:38.000 Here's a fun game to play.

00:06:41.000 By the way, let's slow down here.

00:06:43.000 We have to do our announcements and everything.

00:06:44.000 I'm diving into the show too fast.

00:06:47.000 Welcome to the free episode of Get Off My Lawn.

00:06:50.000 This is where we take a lot of calls.

00:06:52.000 We also dress head-to-toe in Budweiser.

00:07:00.000 You have Budweiser socks yet?

00:07:01.000 Yep.

00:07:03.000 I'm not going to show them.

00:07:04.000 That's private.

00:07:06.000 But we also want to thank, before we get started, our number one sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.

00:07:12.000 Johnny Apple CBD is my CBD because it is effective and affordable.

00:07:17.000 Johnny Apple is the official proud CBD.

00:07:23.000 Johnny Apple is MAGA to the max and they support Censored.tv, so we support them.

00:07:28.000 They've been with us since day one.

00:07:29.000 I think they were our first sponsor on our first episode.

00:07:34.000 Johnny Apple CBD gummies are delicious and help with sleep.

00:07:37.000 Johnny Apple CBD Tincture decreases your chance of getting a hangover.

00:07:41.000 Johnny Apple CBD topicals soothe the muscles and they smell great.

00:07:46.000 Right now, my listeners get 20% off Johnny Apple CBD.

00:07:50.000 Go to jacbd.com and enter the promo code Gavin for 20% off.

00:07:56.000 Start your Christmas shopping early and support Patriot-owned business.

00:08:00.000 jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders just to sort of uh if our ad guy's watching just to go through the syntax here copy editing they support patriot owned business no they support patriot owned business says that's plural of business soothe has an e on it it's not just s-o-o-t-h it's soothe okay and when you say right now my listeners get 20 off johnny apple cbd it should be all johnny

00:13:00.000 got scott are you there sir hey how you doing my man i'm good how are you uh i'm beat man i'm beat we're just uh kind of wrapping it up uh i just had a i forgot all about your calling it's like insane it was sane over there uh today.

00:13:15.000 But good, insane.

00:13:16.000 Very good, insane.

00:13:17.000 So, what were the exact charges that Danny was charged with?

00:13:23.000 You know what?

00:13:24.000 It's so surreal what's going on.

00:13:27.000 The sheriff's department has no concept of what's going on.

00:13:30.000 You know, I was there yesterday when he got arrested.

00:13:33.000 We were sitting with his lawyer and Danny, and, you know, we were trying to come up with what the next step is.

00:13:38.000 And then they came swarming in.

00:13:40.000 He left the door open and they came swarming in.

00:13:43.000 And they spent an hour in there.

00:13:44.000 They kicked us out because no one was allowed to be in there.

00:13:47.000 And I guess I don't know what it's so, you know, it's just mind-boggling because they have no concept of why they even locked him up because there was nobody, you know, there were six people in there.

00:14:02.000 And so then they came and they posted, you got to forgive me.

00:14:07.000 I've been screaming all day and I've been out of commission.

00:14:11.000 Well, I'm drunk, so we're both in the same boat.

00:14:13.000 You know what it's like?

00:14:14.000 Yeah, been there.

00:14:18.000 So yeah, it's really hard to say, you know, it's all sorts of stuff going on.

00:14:22.000 And what they posted on the door was that they weren't allowed.

00:14:26.000 They were allowed to go back in the place today, this morning, but nobody else was allowed.

00:14:33.000 No workers, no family, no nothing.

00:14:36.000 They had to convince the sheriff that his attorney was allowed to go in there.

00:14:40.000 That took about 25 minutes for that to happen.

00:14:43.000 Well, I saw the attorney was getting charged, too.

00:14:45.000 They were writing up the attorney because he's an employee of Max Public House.

00:14:51.000 Listen, my man, this is the problem.

00:14:56.000 I don't know.

00:14:56.000 What's my, can I curse on the show?

00:14:58.000 I don't know.

00:14:59.000 Can I be Scott Lubedo?

00:15:01.000 You can be Scott Lubedo.

00:15:03.000 Okay.

00:15:04.000 The fucking governor and the fucking mayor, they send in these poor souls, okay?

00:15:09.000 Everybody's got to remember, the Sheriff's Department has nothing to do with the NYPD.

00:15:13.000 Nothing.

00:15:14.000 They dressed them up in the NYPD looking uniforms to confuse everybody.

00:15:20.000 Okay.

00:15:20.000 The sheriffs, they are revenue collectors.

00:15:23.000 That's all they are.

00:15:24.000 Okay.

00:15:25.000 They have no jurisdiction being there.

00:15:27.000 So they don't even know what they are doing.

00:15:30.000 This is the sad part.

00:15:31.000 Across this country, well, especially here in the city, the sheriff doesn't even have a clue what they're doing.

00:15:37.000 And they have control because they arrested the guy.

00:15:39.000 The only reason I came out is because I wasn't ready to get arrested because I had to lead this rally today, tonight.

00:15:46.000 How'd it go tonight?

00:15:47.000 How was the turnout?

00:15:48.000 It was phenomenal.

00:15:50.000 Listen, I called this at like 9 o'clock last night on my social media, telling people to get their fucking asses down here at 6 o'clock tonight.

00:15:59.000 And at least 2,000 people showed up.

00:16:03.000 And it was people with heart and soul that never had it before.

00:16:08.000 Because you know as well as I do, people are woke and they are fired up.

00:16:12.000 Moms, okay?

00:16:14.000 Families, people that never went out and come out and protest like me and you do.

00:16:19.000 These people were out in force, and that was the most beautiful thing.

00:16:23.000 I got to ask you, are you...

00:16:26.000 The place you're talking from now, is that where you murder people?

00:16:30.000 What is with the black garbage bags on the wall?

00:16:32.000 Is that where you cut people up?

00:16:35.000 I did come and run into an Italian restaurant just to come and talk to you because I was out.

00:16:40.000 So we're in Staten Island, so, you know, maybe.

00:16:45.000 It's none of our business.

00:16:47.000 Let's not pride.

00:16:48.000 Keep it the phone up in the air so you don't see the bodies on the floor.

00:16:52.000 Well, you know what's impressive about Danny and Keith is that they have the balls to stand up to these people.

00:16:59.000 But I think part of it is they were kind of left with no choice.

00:17:03.000 Like I talked to them on Sunday and they said, what do I do?

00:17:06.000 I abide by their rules, I go bankrupt.

00:17:09.000 I fight them, I go bankrupt.

00:17:11.000 I'll choose fighting them.

00:17:13.000 Well, that's the whole point with Danny and Keith.

00:17:17.000 They approached me because I had a big rally in Manhattan in the summertime and at City Hall, as a matter of fact.

00:17:25.000 And it was a beautiful rally.

00:17:26.000 And my message was to the businesses, the small businesses, especially the restaurant businesses and the bar businesses.

00:17:32.000 If you get 500 restaurants in one community that all do this autonomous zone thing that I did for them, where everybody just says, F you, we're not abiding by these state rules and regulations by this dictatorship.

00:17:46.000 And the sheriff's department would never be able to handle it.

00:17:49.000 But I understand people don't want to go down that road to lose everything.

00:17:52.000 But what happened with Danny and Keith is they approached me and they said, Scott, we want to do your thing.

00:17:57.000 You're right.

00:17:57.000 Oh, so the autonomous zone was your idea.

00:18:00.000 You're going to go down, okay?

00:18:02.000 But you're going to go down as a fucking hero, okay?

00:18:05.000 And you're going to have the world watching you.

00:18:07.000 And that's exactly what happened.

00:18:09.000 So they did put the balls on and exactly what they said.

00:18:13.000 They said, we have to close up anyway.

00:18:15.000 We're shutting down anyway.

00:18:16.000 My livelihood is fucked.

00:18:18.000 It's over.

00:18:19.000 Right.

00:18:19.000 So why not go down with guns blazing?

00:18:22.000 Now, Scott, we have a delay here.

00:18:23.000 We have a delay, but let me interrupt you.

00:18:25.000 So the idea of the autonomous zone, the tape on the sidewalk, that was your idea.

00:18:30.000 Did you put the tape on the sidewalk?

00:18:33.000 Yes, and I made those signs that said we did not abide by the laws.

00:18:36.000 You know, look, I got the idea from Seattle when those jackasses did that thing in Chad, and they got away with it for a month.

00:18:43.000 Right.

00:18:44.000 That they wouldn't, the authorities would not come in.

00:18:46.000 So anyway, it was a matter of maybe theatrics, but also, hey, let's try it.

00:18:52.000 This is what we're saying.

00:18:53.000 You know, this is what they're saying.

00:18:54.000 We're not taking it anymore.

00:18:56.000 We're not abiding by your rules.

00:18:57.000 Meanwhile, they were.

00:18:59.000 They were abiding by all the rules.

00:19:01.000 It's a tiny little place.

00:19:02.000 It's a little mom-and-pop bar tavern.

00:19:05.000 You can fit 15 people in a place.

00:19:07.000 And they did everything by the book.

00:19:08.000 Masks, the tables.

00:19:09.000 There's nobody that's allowed at the bar, separated, and it was beautiful.

00:19:13.000 So again, my statement today was, you know, we have home goods down the street here.

00:19:18.000 Home goods.

00:19:19.000 People are lined up in there shopping for ceramic penguins to put on their friggin mantle.

00:19:24.000 Okay.

00:19:24.000 But this guy can't sell a hamburger, you know, and a beer at his little mom and pop shop.

00:19:29.000 And that's pretty disgusting.

00:19:31.000 They're selective forceful.

00:19:32.000 It's a great example of the hypocrisy.

00:19:36.000 This district, you can't eat in a restaurant, but across the street, you can have a ball.

00:19:41.000 What the hell is that?

00:19:42.000 It's insanity.

00:19:43.000 It's insanity.

00:19:44.000 It's oppression.

00:19:44.000 It's un-American.

00:19:45.000 Scott, thanks for coming on the show.

00:19:47.000 Edifying as always.

00:19:48.000 Let's talk again soon.

00:19:50.000 All right, my friend.

00:19:51.000 Thanks for having me.

00:19:52.000 Cheers, Scott.

00:19:55.000 So that's interesting.

00:19:56.000 So it was Scott's idea.

00:19:59.000 He made, I thought the autonomous zone lettering looked very good.

00:20:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:20:05.000 He's an artist.

00:20:06.000 With all due respect to Keith and Danny, the font was just duct tape, but it was like laid out beautifully.

00:20:14.000 We kind of broke that story.

00:20:15.000 That's a major scoop.

00:20:16.000 I didn't know that either.

00:20:17.000 Scott Lebedo is the guy who is the brainchild.

00:20:19.000 He's the sabo behind fucking this entire thing with Max Public House.

00:20:26.000 So who is there now?

00:20:27.000 There's Max Public House, who said, fuck you, to the COVID bullshit.

00:20:33.000 There's the New Jersey gym where they ripped up the fine.

00:20:39.000 And the New Jersey gym, by the way, it's the same gym.

00:20:42.000 The guy with the big beard we showcased yesterday, he's the same guy who chased off the health inspectors and said, this is our property.

00:20:49.000 You need a warrant.

00:20:50.000 Get out of the parking lot.

00:20:52.000 So that's two.

00:20:54.000 Then you have the barbecue joint in Toronto, Etobicoke, I believe, just outside of Toronto, where that guy was arrested.

00:21:03.000 That's only three.

00:21:06.000 Look, everyone's going broke.

00:21:09.000 We need more than three.

00:21:10.000 We need more than three people willing to get fired.

00:21:17.000 Yeah, we're waiting, Don.

00:21:20.000 Do we have any footage of the show tonight?

00:21:23.000 I'm looking for the show, the demonstration.

00:21:26.000 Yeah, I'm looking on Periscope.

00:21:27.000 He doesn't have it on the screen.

00:21:28.000 I'm looking on Periscope.

00:21:30.000 What about Mac's Public House Facebook feed?

00:21:37.000 It's MAC Apostrophe S, right?

00:21:39.000 You're not adding a K?

00:21:41.000 No.

00:21:42.000 Hold on, we got three hours ago.

00:21:44.000 That's pretty good.

00:21:45.000 It started three hours ago.

00:21:48.000 Oh, wow.

00:21:52.000 Wow.

00:21:57.000 That's awesome.

00:21:58.000 Look at that.

00:22:01.000 That's everyone in Staten Island.

00:22:36.000 It's amazing.

00:22:45.000 It's kind of weird at a rally like, oh, shh, shit.

00:22:50.000 Wow.

00:22:50.000 Oh, Scott painted that.

00:22:51.000 That's a Scott painting.

00:22:53.000 Yeah, he does those great American flies.

00:22:57.000 I don't think I've ever been sober around him in my life, and I've hung up with him like 10 times.

00:23:03.000 Deplorable, he did a live painting.

00:23:05.000 Yep.

00:23:07.000 I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to be sober enough to talk at that deplorable.

00:23:18.000 You know, it's cool.

00:23:20.000 Now they can sing the chorus, but it's weird when you're at a rally and the chorus is part of your demonstration and there's a guitar solo.

00:23:28.000 Oh, yeah, whatever.

00:23:29.000 Because you have to sort of sit there and go through the guitar solo.

00:23:36.000 We ain't gonna take it.

00:23:38.000 We're not gonna take it anymore.

00:23:42.000 What a hero that guy is.

00:23:45.000 We're not gonna take it.

00:23:47.000 Come on.

00:23:52.000 You're all worthless and weak.

00:23:54.000 Which is from Animal House.

00:23:56.000 There's no footage of looting or anything yet.

00:23:58.000 That's weird.

00:23:59.000 I guess that's gonna come up later.

00:24:01.000 Yeah.

00:24:02.000 Again, did you know it's racist to point that out?

00:24:05.000 Of course.

00:24:06.000 You can't tell people.

00:24:07.000 If you say, at least we don't riot when we don't get our way, and when you say we, you mean Trump supporters, you're racist.

00:24:23.000 How fucking fed up you are.

00:24:26.000 Yeah!

00:24:30.000 You can go to HomeGoods and buy a porcelain bunny for your fucking mantle, but these guys can't sell a goddamn hamburger and a beer.

00:24:48.000 All the big box stores are open.

00:24:50.000 Home Depot, Kmart, Walmart, thousands of people.

00:24:55.000 You go there.

00:24:56.000 There's no regulations in there.

00:24:58.000 This guy's got seven people in here.

00:25:01.000 Look at this.

00:25:02.000 Look at there were 20 of them here last night.

00:25:06.000 This is disgusting.

00:25:08.000 This is what that's.

00:25:10.000 We are on that fucking line right now across this country.

00:25:15.000 Okay?

00:25:16.000 And it's about these governors and these mayors.

00:25:26.000 What's he saying?

00:25:31.000 Promo sucks.

00:25:35.000 All right, we got it.

00:25:36.000 That's a great turnout.

00:25:37.000 That's really impressive.

00:25:39.000 Can you go get our beard vet stuff from the cupboards?

00:25:44.000 Beard Vet Coffee and Beard Cream is our new sponsor.

00:25:50.000 We are sort of turning our backs on Black Rifle Coffee.

00:25:53.000 They seem to have thrown Kyle Rittenhouse under the bus.

00:25:56.000 We have moved on to Beard Vet.

00:25:58.000 Look at all this cool shit They have.

00:26:01.000 We've been using it, well, I've been using it on my beard, but I've also been trying the coffee, which is it gets you pumped and alert, but sort of like Johnny Apple CBD, you are not sketched out.

00:26:17.000 Here's the coffee.

00:26:20.000 So the way I feel about this is the way I feel about Johnny Apple's CBD, which is if you are going to buy CBD or beard cream or beard anything, why wouldn't you go with patriots?

00:26:32.000 Why wouldn't you go with people who believe in what you believe in?

00:26:36.000 Look at this cool thing.

00:26:37.000 When you get this case, you get a whole setup.

00:26:42.000 You get the beard cream.

00:26:44.000 You get the oil.

00:26:47.000 You get the coffee.

00:26:48.000 You get the beard balm.

00:26:50.000 Let's put the beard balm in right now.

00:26:56.000 And the thing I hate about beard balms and mustache waxes, they have a smell.

00:27:04.000 And I don't like smelling things all day.

00:27:06.000 You know what I mean?

00:27:07.000 But this smell is, it's not a smell.

00:27:11.000 It's like 0.01%.

00:27:14.000 If you had to name what it was, you'd be like, it's just a tree outside.

00:27:18.000 It's not invasive.

00:27:19.000 It's incredibly subtle.

00:27:21.000 And it's gone in about a second.

00:27:23.000 And you just feel fresher after.

00:27:26.000 Anyway, you've got the shaving cream with the brush.

00:27:29.000 All of this is contained in this doohickey with the beard oil, with the coffee.

00:27:36.000 If you have a beard and you give a shit about vets, you need to check out beardvet.com.

00:27:42.000 It's our coffee sponsor.

00:27:43.000 And use the promo code Gavin to get 20% off all or dirs.

00:27:50.000 All right, I think that's the end of the free segment.

00:27:55.000 Oh, what's that about?

00:27:56.000 Is that your alarm saying we're done with these?

00:27:59.000 No, that's me telling my kids to put their phones away.

00:28:04.000 So let me just text them because I'm a corrections officer.

00:28:11.000 Phones downstairs.

00:28:19.000 You know, the other way to make sure the phones go downstairs is just to have a draconian punishment where when you don't put your phone downstairs, you don't see it for two days.

00:28:28.000 So now they have to put it down there.

00:28:30.000 By the way, before you hang up, I invented a new thing.

00:28:33.000 Gradual punishment, I call it.

00:28:36.000 Now, let me explain.

00:28:37.000 If your daughter does something terrible, like, I don't know, goes into your gun safe or is home an hour after curfew or something, you ground her for five days, right?

00:28:45.000 It's the end of the world.

00:28:46.000 Terrible.

00:28:48.000 But what about minor transgressions?

00:28:53.000 Like, what if your daughter spills your beer?

00:28:56.000 It was an accident, but you don't want it to happen again.

00:28:59.000 So you know what you do?

00:29:00.000 You do what I call a gradual punishment.

00:29:02.000 You take off her glasses and you throw them over on the carpet like 10 feet away.

00:29:08.000 And then she has to go get them.

00:29:10.000 So, oh, you inconvenience her to the same level, basically.

00:29:13.000 Exactly.

00:29:14.000 I see it.

00:29:14.000 It's a gradual punishment.

00:29:16.000 My punishment as a father is not all or nothing.

00:29:20.000 So say I go, hey guys, we're getting close to bedtime.

00:29:23.000 They go, whatever.

00:29:25.000 Oh, really?

00:29:27.000 You have attitude?

00:29:28.000 I will confiscate your lamp for two hours.

00:29:32.000 I unplug it.

00:29:33.000 I bring it over to my room.

00:29:35.000 You do?

00:29:36.000 Yeah.

00:29:37.000 It's a new thing.

00:29:38.000 Or say a kid's like, I say it's recycling.

00:29:43.000 Everyone get all the cardboard together.

00:29:44.000 And someone's like, oh.

00:29:46.000 And then as they're grabbing it, they go, I got it all and they don't have it all.

00:29:50.000 You know what I do then?

00:29:52.000 I take all the cardboard and I push it out of their hands.

00:29:55.000 Now you got none.

00:29:56.000 Now they have none.

00:29:57.000 Now they have to pick it up again.

00:29:58.000 They laugh because they're not used to gradual punishment and they have to pick it up.

00:30:03.000 But this is my new thing.

00:30:04.000 I grab your fork, throw it away.

00:30:07.000 Can't wait to be a dad.

00:30:08.000 That sounds awesome.

00:30:09.000 Yeah.

00:30:10.000 Minor punishments is my new thing.

00:30:11.000 That's what Tony Soprano did, where the kid was completely.

00:30:13.000 He's like, I don't like the cereal.

00:30:14.000 He's like, and he takes it, walks over the sink all slow and dumps it.

00:30:17.000 He's like, now you got nothing.

00:30:20.000 I'll throw your sweater downstairs.

00:30:22.000 I'll stand on your hat.

00:30:24.000 Oof.

00:30:25.000 I'll take your book and remove your bookmark.

00:30:27.000 You lost your place.

00:30:29.000 That's rough.

00:30:30.000 Yeah, I got a lot of shit up my sleeve with these kids.

00:30:34.000 Where's your pillow?

00:30:35.000 I don't know.

00:30:36.000 It's gone.

00:30:37.000 I took it away because you said, what?

00:30:42.000 New invention, folks.

00:30:45.000 Gradual punishment.

00:31:01.000 So it looks like the protest at Max Public House was a smashing success.

00:31:05.000 Scott Lebedo did a fantastic job.

00:31:08.000 But we got to go.

00:31:10.000 We have to go behind a paywall now.

00:31:12.000 And we'll start taking calls, doing drawings that we will sell on the doodle auction.

00:31:18.000 I almost said the vice doodle auction.

00:31:20.000 Oh, snap.

00:31:21.000 I haven't worked there in 15 years.

00:31:25.000 But for those of you freebie hijackers enjoying yourselves, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:31:57.000 I think the fall of France was really Napoleon's nephew deciding to invade the Middle East and the Arab world and making a conjunction there where Arabs became part of French culture.

00:32:12.000 Their fucking noses.

00:32:14.000 When you get off the plane in Paris and you look at your first Frenchman, you go, are you a racist cartoon of a Jew?

00:32:24.000 It is a fucking toucan beak.

00:32:27.000 They have way bigger noses than the Most insulting Jewish caricature.

00:32:32.000 Can you put that back in the freezer, please?

00:32:34.000 I don't like the buck cheek.

00:32:41.000 You don't like the buck cheek?

00:32:43.000 It's too much mice.

00:32:46.000 And I blame the Arabs.

00:32:48.000 I mean, why do blacks and Arabs have big noses?

00:32:52.000 Why do blacks and Jews and Arabs have big noses?

00:32:55.000 Why do I have such a little button?

00:32:58.000 Because your nostrils are trying to get oxygen.

00:33:01.000 They're trying to get moisture from the air.

00:33:03.000 So black noses go like this for some reason, and Semitic noses go like that for some reason.

00:33:10.000 So their nostrils are like that.

00:33:12.000 Black nostrils are like that, and they're trying to get in moisture.

00:33:16.000 In Scotland, you don't even need a nose.

00:33:19.000 You could have two pinpricks here.

00:33:21.000 You'd still be drowning in moisture.

00:33:24.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:33:27.000 Anyway, we have our normal news.

00:33:29.000 Santifa, COVID, fucking election gate, my Christmas tree story.

00:33:37.000 I was watching the Belushi dock before I came here.

00:33:40.000 Great guy.

00:33:41.000 Albanian.

00:33:42.000 He's not Italian.

00:33:43.000 He's Albanian.

00:33:44.000 What?

00:33:45.000 Yeah.

00:33:46.000 Wow.

00:33:46.000 I don't even see it.

00:33:48.000 Well, how many Albanians do you know?

00:33:50.000 I knew a couple.

00:33:51.000 My friend Mark, who passed away, he was super Albanian.

00:33:54.000 How did he die?

00:33:56.000 We're not sure yet.

00:33:57.000 It's one of those things where they didn't announce it, so you kind of think the worst things.

00:34:00.000 Even if it's the worst thing, I think you should announce it because now we're...

00:34:03.000 That's how I feel.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 But I don't know.

00:34:06.000 Especially with pills and stuff.

00:34:07.000 Like, what pills was he doing?

00:34:09.000 Right.

00:34:10.000 What if every pill, like fentanyl with Prince and fucking Tom Petty?

00:34:17.000 Like, tell us the drug.

00:34:18.000 So other kids can go, oh, I know fentanyl.

00:34:21.000 It killed Prince, Tom Petty, blah, blah, blah.

00:34:25.000 Lil Pump, whatever.

00:34:27.000 Yeah, Lil Peep, I think, right?

00:34:28.000 Lil Peep.

00:34:35.000 Believe me, and I am always right.

00:34:38.000 All right, should we jump into calls?

00:34:40.000 Maybe we should.

00:34:41.000 Of course.

00:34:43.000 Let me find a picture to draw.

00:34:54.000 Oh, do you want to show that?

00:34:57.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:34:58.000 I was at the fag zone this morning.

00:35:01.000 Sure were.

00:35:02.000 On my way to work.

00:35:03.000 I decided to pop in and wake up and pick up Ryan.

00:35:08.000 I have a key to his apartment.

00:35:10.000 And I want to show you the power of Dernier Dance, Last Dance by Indila.

00:35:38.000 It's a weird stain on your cheek.

00:35:50.000 You're good at comedy when you can do it one second after you wake up.

00:35:55.000 I'd put you out for a fucking week.

00:35:57.000 Or when you're getting beat up.

00:35:58.000 You're devoted.

00:35:59.000 Thank you.

00:36:00.000 I know the rules, I think.

00:36:02.000 Yeah.

00:36:03.000 What the fuck were you listening to?

00:36:05.000 Me jamming out.

00:36:06.000 I did a four and a half hour stream on YouTube of me just jamming out to music.

00:36:11.000 And then you replayed it to yourself as you slept?

00:36:13.000 Yes.

00:36:16.000 So what time did you go to bed at?

00:36:18.000 Oh, I don't remember.

00:36:19.000 I don't know.

00:36:20.000 I don't remember.

00:36:21.000 Probably like 4 a.m.

00:36:23.000 That sounds about right.

00:36:24.000 You probably went from 12 to 4 doing your stupid stream.

00:36:28.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:36:29.000 Not that late.

00:36:29.000 No, no.

00:36:30.000 What do you mean?

00:36:31.000 No, I don't stream that late.

00:36:33.000 But how did you, like, you were asleep and your stream was playing?

00:36:38.000 Oh, yeah, no, no, no.

00:36:39.000 I just listened to it.

00:36:41.000 I was listening, reviewing, you know, my, like, because you, it's like watching game tape or something.

00:36:46.000 You're just like, what did I do that I could keep?

00:36:48.000 Because a lot, it just happens.

00:36:50.000 You know, you're playing and it just, all these things happen, and you don't have time to process it.

00:36:55.000 You could also be a self-obsessed megalomaniac that just wants to.

00:36:58.000 No, I'm pretty critical.

00:37:00.000 I'm like, ugh, that stinks.

00:37:01.000 Most of it, I think, is, you know, almost good.

00:37:06.000 So anyway, so you did it from 12 to 4, but I came in and woke you up around 11 a.m., right?

00:37:15.000 So that stream that you played was only four hours?

00:37:21.000 Four and a half hours, yeah.

00:37:22.000 But I don't know where in that stream it was.

00:37:24.000 So it loops?

00:37:26.000 No.

00:37:27.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:37:28.000 It doesn't.

00:37:28.000 See, I get up early.

00:37:30.000 I get up early, sometimes around eight, and then I'll go back to sleep.

00:37:34.000 And what do you do when you wake up early?

00:37:36.000 Take a pee.

00:37:38.000 And then you put on a tape of yourself and go back to sleep.

00:37:41.000 Because I had a nightmare that I peed my pants.

00:37:44.000 Yeah, that's not a nightmare.

00:37:46.000 A little bit came out.

00:37:47.000 I'm not proud.

00:37:48.000 That's not a nightmare.

00:37:49.000 This guy, by the way, I'm at his house.

00:37:52.000 I'm at the fag zone.

00:37:53.000 And he goes, I almost clogged the toilet.

00:37:58.000 Oh, how?

00:37:59.000 Big huge shit?

00:38:00.000 No, toilet paper.

00:38:01.000 Oh, why would you have so much toilet paper?

00:38:04.000 Well, I was cleaning the toilet seat, and I used a lot of toilet paper.

00:38:07.000 I didn't want to sit and piss.

00:38:10.000 Okay.

00:38:11.000 Why is there so much piss on your toilet seat?

00:38:13.000 Oh, probably because I don't put up the toilet seat when I go piss.

00:38:18.000 Just seems like a waste of time.

00:38:19.000 Seems like too much effort.

00:38:22.000 Okay.

00:38:23.000 So it's too much effort to lift up a toilet seat.

00:38:27.000 Toilet.

00:38:28.000 The lid.

00:38:29.000 Not the lid.

00:38:30.000 The lid is the top part.

00:38:31.000 The seat.

00:38:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:32.000 It's too much effort to lift up the toilet seat.

00:38:35.000 So you don't do that, and then you piss all over it, and then you spend like five minutes with toilet paper washing the piss stains and almost clogging the toilet because the rest is too much work.

00:38:49.000 See, I almost lifted it, and then I realized I don't put my hands in there because it's also very dirty.

00:38:55.000 Then I have to wash my hands.

00:38:58.000 Holy fuck, you're fucking.

00:39:00.000 Like, just listen to the logic of it's too much work to lift up the toilet seat right after you had done all that work.

00:39:10.000 Let's see what my dad has to say.

00:39:27.000 It's quiet, yeah, no, it's quiet for you.

00:39:29.000 Hey, Dad.

00:39:31.000 Hi, buddy.

00:39:32.000 How you doing?

00:39:34.000 Oh, everything is wonderful.

00:39:35.000 It's lovely being down here in Florida.

00:39:39.000 The weather's a bit cold.

00:39:41.000 But other than that.

00:39:43.000 Hey, listen, Mom phones you so say hi.

00:39:46.000 Okay.

00:39:47.000 Hi, honey.

00:39:48.000 Hi, Mom.

00:39:50.000 Yeah, I'm just kind of lying here thinking, Jesus Christ, Christmas is going to be a bit weird.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:56.000 I don't think we'll get there.

00:39:58.000 You know, we had quite a time getting here in the first place from Canada.

00:40:04.000 You don't have to pretend that you don't want to come, Mom.

00:40:07.000 I know you don't love us.

00:40:11.000 Are you kidding?

00:40:12.000 I'm desperate for company, even yours.

00:40:18.000 You know, Emily and I are going through a weird thing.

00:40:21.000 She's kind of mad at me right now for the most ridiculous thing ever.

00:40:28.000 We were at a party and there was this gay guy there.

00:40:32.000 And him and I went into the bathroom and we were kidding, basically.

00:40:36.000 But we were making out and I was touching his cock as a joke and fondling him.

00:40:44.000 And we both were nude when she walked in.

00:40:46.000 And she's turning it into this whole like, you're gay, blah, blah, blah.

00:40:51.000 And I'm like, we were making fun of gays.

00:40:54.000 It was a private parody.

00:40:58.000 And she doesn't get it.

00:41:02.000 Can you talk to her?

00:41:05.000 You understand it's not a good visual.

00:41:09.000 I kind of get that.

00:41:10.000 I sort of get that.

00:41:11.000 But if she could have known the context of it, it was like a play.

00:41:16.000 We were doing a play.

00:41:17.000 Yeah, right.

00:41:18.000 Yeah, is this all part of your show?

00:41:21.000 Yeah, you're on my show.

00:41:24.000 You're on my show right now.

00:41:26.000 Oh, God.

00:41:28.000 How do you not know your son has a show live on Wednesday nights?

00:41:33.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:41:34.000 How would I know that?

00:41:36.000 Well, you'd have to love me and care to know.

00:41:42.000 All right, I better get back to it then.

00:41:46.000 Are you serious?

00:41:47.000 You have to just say hello and goodbye?

00:41:51.000 Well, I'm happy to have you on for as long as you'd like.

00:41:54.000 We're going to take calls soon.

00:41:57.000 Oh, okay, honey.

00:41:59.000 That would be very nice.

00:42:00.000 Okay.

00:42:02.000 So you're fed up with Dad, are you?

00:42:04.000 So you got it.

00:42:05.000 No, we'll talk to Dad.

00:42:06.000 What's Dad got to say?

00:42:08.000 Let's talk to Dad.

00:42:09.000 Bring on Jimmy McKennis.

00:42:10.000 He's on the other phone.

00:42:12.000 Oh, no, no.

00:42:13.000 I watched you in Staten Island at the Max bar.

00:42:19.000 Yeah, we just talked to them.

00:42:23.000 No, I said I watched you.

00:42:24.000 And I said we just spoke to them.

00:42:27.000 Oh, okay.

00:42:28.000 So, and there was a big thing on Tucker as well tonight.

00:42:34.000 But he's a bit late at the party.

00:42:36.000 Yep.

00:42:38.000 But I didn't realize that they divided Staten Island in two.

00:42:46.000 Yeah, nor did I until I got there.

00:42:48.000 So the cases are worse on the southern end.

00:42:51.000 So they're terrorizing the southern end.

00:42:53.000 And the northern end is fine.

00:42:56.000 So this bar is right on the border.

00:43:00.000 Yeah, but you know, a lot of people don't know that viruses are very, very sensitive to borders.

00:43:10.000 See, wait a minute.

00:43:12.000 It traveled from China to Europe, but it's not going to travel from one end of Staten Island to the other?

00:43:20.000 Yeah, it's very time-sensitive.

00:43:23.000 It doesn't come out until 10 or 12.

00:43:26.000 Yeah.

00:43:27.000 Well, you've got to see this pub, too.

00:43:28.000 It's the smallest pub.

00:43:30.000 It's smaller than the Hopedon in Lead Hills.

00:43:33.000 Actually, no, it's the same size.

00:43:34.000 I'm not joking.

00:43:35.000 It's the size of the Hopedon in Lead Hills, the back area, not the front area.

00:43:40.000 And these guys are trying to make a buck, and they're getting terrorized by Cuomo and de Blasio.

00:43:45.000 And all of these politicians are happy to go to their luncheons and their fancy restaurants.

00:43:49.000 But these poor bastards who bust their ass in sanitation all day are not allowed to have a beer after a hard day's work.

00:43:57.000 It's sickening, you know?

00:44:01.000 You get politicians who are making, you know, in Canada, they got 20% increase while poor sods.

00:44:11.000 And it just drives me crazy because they were always on about, oh yeah, small industries are the engine of the economy.

00:44:21.000 And then you're thinking, oh, really?

00:44:23.000 You mean that politicians don't actually create wealth?

00:44:27.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:44:29.000 Oh, my God.

00:44:30.000 Oh, oh, oh.

00:44:31.000 Why are you shitting on them all day if they're such an integral part of the economy?

00:44:37.000 Oh, I know.

00:44:39.000 It's unbelievable.

00:44:40.000 You know what?

00:44:40.000 They've got a barbecue guy in Ontario.

00:44:44.000 They find him something like $15,000.

00:44:49.000 He's a young father with two kids, a wife and two kids.

00:44:55.000 His business, and hundreds, of course, they look as if they see hardly anyone, but of course, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people turned up and said, we love his, he ran out of food within about an hour because everybody came to support him.

00:45:12.000 You know, the whole thing about the so-called stupid common man is that they've got tons of common sense.

00:45:21.000 Politicians and everybody like that has none.

00:45:26.000 Absolutely zilt zero nothing in their heads.

00:45:30.000 Gavin, you should have seen the number of police that turned out.

00:45:35.000 And they were, they were, some of them were on horseback.

00:45:39.000 They backed them.

00:45:41.000 No, seriously, Gavin.

00:45:43.000 They backed them in near the front door and then fined them.

00:45:47.000 The health people came and fined them another, God knows how many thousands of dollars.

00:45:52.000 Because the horses did what horses do.

00:45:55.000 They pooped at the front of his restaurant or the back at the front.

00:46:00.000 So he's getting horse shit fines now?

00:46:03.000 Yes, of course.

00:46:04.000 It's against health.

00:46:05.000 He kind of dogs and horses pooping in the house.

00:46:10.000 Where were they at all these Black Lives Matter and Antifa riots, all these rallies, all these fucking...

00:46:15.000 In New York, we had 200,000 people saying Trans Lives Matter.

00:46:20.000 Not one arrest.

00:46:22.000 Okay, you know something?

00:46:23.000 The police are in black with black face masks.

00:46:27.000 They're Antifa.

00:46:29.000 They're wearing sunglasses and black masks.

00:46:33.000 They're the new Antifa.

00:46:36.000 Well, I try to defend the police here on the show, Mom, and I think they're just following orders, and their orders are fucking insane.

00:46:44.000 So it's either quit your job or they've got more applications for retirement than actually anybody else.

00:46:53.000 They want to get out of it.

00:46:54.000 They understand.

00:46:55.000 No, no, I get that.

00:46:58.000 Of course.

00:47:00.000 Okay, mom, I have to start taking calls here.

00:47:03.000 Not to get too off-topic, but would it have killed you to get me a $6 million man and not his fucking boss, Oscar Goldman?

00:47:12.000 It's a collector's item.

00:47:13.000 No, okay, well, that was, I don't want a collector's item when I'm nine years old.

00:47:19.000 I want the bionic man.

00:47:21.000 I was thinking ahead.

00:47:22.000 I was thinking.

00:47:28.000 Well, where is it now?

00:47:29.000 Why do you need to help me preserve it?

00:47:33.000 Because it was teaching you responsive heart.

00:47:36.000 Okay.

00:47:39.000 Last question, and this is very serious.

00:47:42.000 I'm sorry to get so heavy at the end of our conversation, but Dad, when you were quitting smoking, you said I'll give you $5 for every cigarette I smoke.

00:47:49.000 And I remember going to ashtrays and I go $5, $10, $15, $20, $25, $30.

00:47:53.000 And I accrued, I believe, $350 of cigarettes that you smoked after our bet.

00:48:00.000 Sound reasonable?

00:48:02.000 Probably.

00:48:03.000 Why did you then take that money out of my account and spend it?

00:48:12.000 You know, that's it.

00:48:13.000 I said he does.

00:48:14.000 It's all about tough love.

00:48:18.000 Do you recall I charged you a robber's fee and you had to replenish the account to the tune of $400?

00:48:29.000 That happened.

00:48:30.000 It's called parenting that and get with it.

00:48:33.000 It's called robbing motherfuckers blood!

00:48:39.000 All right.

00:48:41.000 They did that.

00:48:53.000 If some Indian dude did that to me, I'd go, oh, you can make a funny face.

00:48:58.000 You were doing a perfect job of not even trying.

00:49:02.000 What the fuck you?

00:49:04.000 What are you...

00:49:05.000 You want to piss off a fucking Indian?

00:49:06.000 Any third world person?

00:49:08.000 You go, your uncle's a donkey.

00:49:13.000 Don't use first world insults on third world people.

00:49:17.000 Don't say, fuck you, fuck your mother.

00:49:19.000 That's our vernacular.

00:49:21.000 They go, my mother, what?

00:49:22.000 She's floating down the Yangtze.

00:49:24.000 She has no arms.

00:49:25.000 We burnt her alive for desecrating the family.

00:49:28.000 We did an honor killing.

00:49:31.000 Buddy.

00:49:31.000 Buddy?

00:49:35.000 But yeah, call a relative of theirs an animal.

00:49:38.000 Not even a fly.

00:49:39.000 That's, I think, too low.

00:49:40.000 It should be like a donkey, a monkey.

00:49:43.000 Believe a mouse?

00:49:44.000 Your mother's a mouse?

00:49:47.000 I think that really hurts them.

00:49:51.000 We got Chris on one.

00:49:53.000 Chris on one?

00:49:54.000 Hey, Chris on one.

00:49:55.000 Hi, Chris.

00:49:56.000 Hey, can you hear me?

00:49:57.000 Can you hear me?

00:49:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:59.000 You're live, dude.

00:50:01.000 Hey, what's up, dude?

00:50:03.000 Hey!

00:50:05.000 Hey, Gavin, when you do that bait, you look a lot like Crowder, and it's freaking hilarious.

00:50:12.000 But I got two things for you guys.

00:50:16.000 One, Ryan, look up on YouTube.

00:50:21.000 I've sent this into the mailbag a couple times, but you obviously haven't read it.

00:50:26.000 Do Running in the 90s Car Chase.

00:50:30.000 It's like four minutes, so I mean, you can watch it on the show if you want, but I mean, if you want to take your own time, do that.

00:50:38.000 But anyway, Gavin, the So you're getting a lot out of this call.

00:50:44.000 You get a homework assignment.

00:50:46.000 We have to look up a video.

00:50:47.000 You get to talk about your inspirations.

00:50:50.000 It's basically your show.

00:50:52.000 Thank you for calling, sir.

00:50:54.000 It's been a pleasure getting to know you, and we will definitely check out your video.

00:50:59.000 You just got to fade, dog.

00:51:03.000 Hey, man, long time to call.

00:51:04.000 Look up this YouTube video.

00:51:06.000 Fucking fuck right in the ass.

00:51:07.000 Go out on a Thursday.

00:51:09.000 And then I have some stuff I want to ask you about.

00:51:13.000 I don't think this is it.

00:51:14.000 This isn't four minutes.

00:51:18.000 What is this, man?

00:51:21.000 It's like a random car accident video.

00:51:23.000 This guy's going to crash.

00:51:28.000 Surface.

00:51:28.000 Isn't it?

00:51:29.000 Send it to the mail.

00:51:30.000 Ryan at...

00:51:31.000 Oh, wow.

00:51:32.000 Ryan at sensor.tv.

00:51:36.000 Hi.

00:51:38.000 Way to handle yourself, dude.

00:51:40.000 Isn't it funny how we always root for the bad guys?

00:51:42.000 Yeah.

00:51:43.000 It's a strange.

00:51:44.000 Yeah.

00:51:45.000 I don't know.

00:51:45.000 Western trait?

00:51:47.000 I think it might be a Wes.

00:51:48.000 I don't know if it's even...

00:51:48.000 Maybe it's a global trait.

00:51:51.000 But that guy could have raped babies.

00:51:54.000 Yeah.

00:51:55.000 It's all the babies' dads.

00:51:57.000 Finally catching the baby rapists.

00:51:58.000 They're in the car.

00:51:59.000 Yeah.

00:52:00.000 Yeah.

00:52:00.000 That car could be full of babies that are being raped.

00:52:03.000 And we're sitting there going, come on, dude, you can do it.

00:52:07.000 Yeah, even on Catcher Predator, I'm like, he might be willing to.

00:52:10.000 Oh, they caught him.

00:52:11.000 Yeah, like Catch a Predator.

00:52:14.000 Yeah, maybe with that.

00:52:15.000 But even with America's Most Wanted, I'd be like, I'd see his face, and they'd be like, he's wanted here.

00:52:20.000 And they'd show his face, and they'd go, dude, you're fucked, man.

00:52:23.000 Then you'll find out like he burnt a woman alive.

00:52:30.000 Oh, they got him.

00:52:31.000 Oh, well.

00:52:35.000 Can't so well see.

00:52:37.000 He's not getting away from that.

00:52:39.000 No, no, no.

00:52:40.000 That's over.

00:52:46.000 Alright, we got Eddie.

00:52:49.000 Eddie Cantor.

00:52:51.000 Eddie Cantor, what's going on, Bacho Berti Buno?

00:53:00.000 I'm a jolly bunter.

00:53:04.000 Yeah, no, I was calling because I wanted to say, man, what the fuck is up with these police?

00:53:10.000 When is it going to be time for them to choose the side?

00:53:13.000 You know, we give them all this support.

00:53:15.000 You know, whenever the c gets shot, stuff like that, and we're all right there by them.

00:53:20.000 And I used to hate the police.

00:53:23.000 And then Obama came with all his bullshit with Michael Brown and all that.

00:53:27.000 And, you know, then I started to love the police.

00:53:29.000 But why should we give them all this support if they're not willing to support us?

00:53:33.000 Well, they get assigned shitty jobs.

00:53:36.000 Like, what should you do?

00:53:37.000 So you got to go arrest the people at this Max public house.

00:53:44.000 What do they say?

00:53:45.000 No?

00:53:46.000 I'm not going.

00:53:46.000 Okay, you're fired.

00:53:47.000 All right, fuck you.

00:53:48.000 So they should all be getting fired.

00:53:50.000 Like, there's sort of like the military dissent.

00:53:52.000 They have to go to Iraq.

00:53:54.000 They have to go to Afghanistan.

00:53:56.000 Should they say no?

00:53:57.000 That's a stupid war.

00:53:59.000 I don't want to go to that war.

00:54:01.000 I mean, you know, they have to do some horrible shit.

00:54:08.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:54:09.000 It's a strange situation.

00:54:11.000 And I feel kind of uncomfortable, to be totally honest, in it.

00:54:14.000 I know that when John and Max were arrested, not the chief of police, but whatever you're, one of these dumb categories like the alderman went over to John and he said, I like beer.

00:54:24.000 And he slammed his hands on the table.

00:54:27.000 Of course, Johnston still went to jail for four years.

00:54:31.000 But yeah, I know what you mean, dude.

00:54:35.000 Should they just say fuck you to their assignment and get fired?

00:54:38.000 I guess that's a lot of money.

00:54:41.000 And they're going to have a lot of other dumb assignments over the years.

00:54:46.000 Yeah, all right.

00:54:46.000 Thank you.

00:54:47.000 Bye.

00:54:51.000 He wanted to get out of there fast.

00:54:54.000 Yeah, what the heck?

00:54:56.000 Cody.

00:54:56.000 Trump's hard to draw.

00:54:59.000 What's up?

00:55:00.000 Hey, dude.

00:55:03.000 How's it going?

00:55:05.000 What's going on, guy?

00:55:08.000 Oh, nothing much.

00:55:11.000 I got a...

00:55:12.000 Okay, so I have two things, but just tell me to fuck off for one of them if you want.

00:55:16.000 I got a would you rather and a gross baby rape?

00:55:18.000 Which one would you rather like?

00:55:21.000 Gross baby rape?

00:55:25.000 No, not gross baby rape?

00:55:26.000 No, babe rape for Gavin.

00:55:30.000 Okay, what's the question?

00:55:33.000 Okay, so do you want the would you rather or the gross babe that you want to rate on a scale of one to ten?

00:55:39.000 You only get one.

00:55:40.000 Would you rather?

00:55:41.000 You get the.

00:55:42.000 Okay.

00:55:43.000 Would you rather?

00:55:43.000 Okay, cool.

00:55:44.000 Sounds good.

00:55:45.000 All right.

00:55:46.000 Would you rather, when your wife comes, she makes Indian Joker face, or when you come, you make Indian Joker face and your wife has to see it?

00:56:00.000 That's easy.

00:56:02.000 I would do her have to see Indian Joker face.

00:56:05.000 She also has to see Indian Body Fit.

00:56:18.000 She already has to see all this other gross shit, like my bag and all that stuff.

00:56:22.000 So yeah, I would go with her seeing stuff.

00:56:26.000 She closes her eyes.

00:56:27.000 You know, men are not attractive.

00:56:30.000 So if there's anything that, if there's any kind of would you rather that involves a woman, you're showing those drawings?

00:56:40.000 Because this is not coming along very well.

00:56:45.000 Oh, I muted him.

00:56:46.000 He's hang up on him.

00:56:48.000 Okay.

00:56:48.000 Bye, sir.

00:56:51.000 Like, these are little too.

00:56:52.000 I'm trying to see what you could do here with just.

00:56:55.000 Oh, here we go.

00:56:56.000 Well, that's...

00:56:58.000 Most of these are, like, insulting, you know?

00:57:00.000 They're not the most flattering pictures.

00:57:02.000 It's like his nose is hard to draw.

00:57:06.000 Yeah, this one gets it pretty good.

00:57:07.000 Let me see.

00:57:08.000 This.

00:57:18.000 I'll see what I can do.

00:57:19.000 I was drawing on the week.

00:57:20.000 If you could check my parlor, not you, Ryan, but other people, you can see that I'm pretty good at drawing.

00:57:25.000 But, you know, these are like 10 o'clock at night after some drinks, and they tend to be pretty shitty.

00:57:32.000 But let's take another call.

00:57:36.000 I'll go get some tennis.

00:57:38.000 Okay.

00:57:38.000 You're on the line, Kev.

00:57:42.000 Hello, Bundy.

00:57:43.000 Hello.

00:57:43.000 What's going on, Bundy?

00:57:47.000 Hey, Rye Guy.

00:57:48.000 My wife met you at the Stop the Steel march.

00:57:51.000 Oh.

00:57:52.000 Oh, I think I remember.

00:57:53.000 Okay, yeah, yeah.

00:57:54.000 And she was like, my husband loves you.

00:57:56.000 I think I remember that.

00:57:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:58.000 She found you with her Gator in the crowd.

00:58:01.000 Oh, you know what?

00:58:02.000 Hang up on this clown.

00:58:04.000 Even though I can do it.

00:58:06.000 Anyways, we were just watching HBO, and with the movie ratings, you know, in the top left, where they say there's like nudity and stuff, they're now saying if the movies have blackface.

00:58:18.000 What?

00:58:19.000 It's a movie that's blackface?

00:58:23.000 Yeah, like they're warning that there's violence, nudity, foul language, and blackface.

00:58:28.000 It contains blackface.

00:58:31.000 Is there an example for that?

00:58:32.000 I don't remember what fucking movie it was, but.

00:58:34.000 Shit.

00:58:35.000 You know what this is called?

00:58:36.000 Black fragility.

00:58:38.000 Everything they accuse whites of, blacks seem guilty of that's and not that blacks have said hey man can you put a warning on movies it's like whites are doing this for whether whites i don't think blacks are invited to this ridiculous plan what a mess i would never want if i was if they warned for whiteface like oh darn if they all have it amazon has it too um content warning from amazon all right thanks for

01:01:39.000 just didn't know if you were baptized as a baby or not oh no i only discovered um i only discovered religion after my daughter was born in 06.

01:04:55.000 of handicapped in order to get their numbers up this is what happens with affirmative action when you go against God and you say I'm gonna play God and I'm gonna decide what justice is and ignore meritocracy, you end up with this fucking ridiculous scenario where you have to call left-handed people handicapped.

01:05:15.000 I think both of my sons are left-handed, by the way.

01:05:23.000 Is it Church of Our Lady Guadalupe?

01:05:26.000 Nope.

01:05:26.000 Oh, right.

01:05:28.000 You're at the West Force stop?

01:05:30.000 Yeah, I don't see it.

01:05:31.000 Zoom in.

01:05:32.000 Let me see.

01:05:32.000 These are all the woods around here.

01:05:36.000 West Forth.

01:05:37.000 Soho House.

01:05:38.000 It's south of the Church of the April.

01:05:39.000 Go down, down, down.

01:05:40.000 Soho House is north.

01:05:42.000 I mean the subway stop West Forth.

01:05:44.000 No, no.

01:05:49.000 Go down.

01:05:50.000 Zoom in.

01:05:52.000 Spring Street Park, yep.

01:05:55.000 What is it?

01:05:55.000 Move over.

01:05:56.000 Spring Street, Canal Street, stop.

01:05:57.000 It's north of Canal.

01:05:59.000 North of Canal.

01:05:59.000 Okay.

01:06:02.000 Spring Street.

01:06:02.000 If you want to go north of Spring Street, stop.

01:06:05.000 Okay.

01:06:08.000 I've got to click search this area.

01:06:10.000 Oh, wait, we got...

01:06:11.000 Church of Pompeii.

01:06:12.000 That's it.

01:06:13.000 Okay, that's right.

01:06:13.000 That's where I was baptized.

01:06:15.000 Our Lady of Pompeii.

01:06:17.000 Yeah.

01:06:18.000 I guess I said apocalyptic because I'm thinking of the explosion with the ash people.

01:06:22.000 By the way, what the fuck was with that?

01:06:24.000 So there's a volcano.

01:06:27.000 Why is everyone frozen in ash?

01:06:31.000 Wouldn't they just be burnt to smithereens?

01:06:33.000 Wait, weird.

01:06:34.000 I never really understood that, like, those people.

01:06:36.000 There's one of them he's beating off.

01:06:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:06:39.000 And he's frozen in ash, going.

01:06:42.000 Making.

01:06:43.000 And you're like, what were you covered with?

01:06:46.000 Hot freeze powder?

01:06:49.000 Any Joker face freeze?

01:06:50.000 Yeah, like those guys.

01:06:51.000 You just showed them.

01:06:51.000 Pompey.

01:06:52.000 Wait, go back.

01:06:53.000 Go back.

01:06:54.000 People.

01:06:54.000 No, you showed them.

01:06:56.000 It was a slim pick and I don't get the physics of this.

01:07:01.000 What happened here?

01:07:03.000 So the lava went through so fast that everyone just...

01:07:08.000 Or maybe...

01:07:09.000 Or maybe it was a smoke and they died and then the ash sort of froze them later.

01:07:16.000 That looks like.

01:07:17.000 So he's dying of smoke inhalation?

01:07:20.000 That kind of looks fake, doesn't it?

01:07:21.000 Yeah, it does.

01:07:22.000 Like the face, like, that's what your face looks like?

01:07:26.000 Let's try to ask the computer.

01:07:27.000 She's going to fuck this up by 100% guarantee.

01:07:33.000 Computer!

01:07:35.000 Who are the people of Pompeii?

01:07:40.000 According to Wikipedia, Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, known by the anglicization Pompey the Great, was a leading Roman general and statesman whose career was significant in Rome's transformation from a republic to empire.

01:07:53.000 He was for a time a political ally and later enemy of Julius Caesar.

01:07:59.000 Fuck you.

01:08:03.000 An elegant mansion.

01:08:04.000 Maybe one of the girls peers through luxurious drapes out the window.

01:08:07.000 Tourists pass by, visiting the famed town of Pompeii.

01:08:10.000 There to experience the bustling taverns and elaborate bathhouses, the busy cafes and acclaimed artisan stalls.

01:08:17.000 Hundreds of others mingle in the market square or head to the giant arena.

01:08:20.000 And meanwhile, the many slaves of the town clean floors, work in factories, or massage men in a local wolf den.

01:08:27.000 Then, suddenly a deafening crack is heard, followed by great plumes of ash blackening the sky.

01:08:33.000 Those people in the streets see daytime turn to night.

01:08:36.000 People soon scream in the darkness as buildings collapse around them.

01:08:40.000 Noxious gases and superheated rocks will envelop them all.

01:08:43.000 That's what happened the day the Roman city of Pompeii was swallowed, when something like 12 to 20,000 folks were stopped in their tracks, consumed by nature's whim.

01:08:53.000 How we know this scene did something close to that is because many, many years later, archaeologists managed to put the pieces back together.

01:09:00.000 But before we can get to what they discovered, let's have a closer look at Pompeii in ancient times.

01:09:05.000 The city here today is showing me like they're famous.

01:09:08.000 Although these thieves did have to dig through some ash to find their bounty, those mountains were surrounded by the swimming pool and the 25 water fountains.

01:09:24.000 And what some people might have done for business.

01:09:26.000 As for those bodies, you can see people crouching down and looking like they're praying.

01:09:30.000 Others are mid-crawl, some are huddled together.

01:09:32.000 We should say that these whole-looking bodies are casts that were made from impressions of bodies in the ash.

01:09:38.000 The skeletons were surrounded by voids of ash, and so plaster of Paris was poured into the voids.

01:09:43.000 They represent how the body would have looked, but aren't actually the body.

01:09:47.000 The stone people are creations or representations.

01:09:51.000 Most would have been killed by those birches we talked about for others might be working on ash.

01:09:56.000 You ripped me off.

01:09:58.000 A nickel for this.

01:10:01.000 Curtis.

01:10:03.000 Did we just have Curtis on the line?

01:10:05.000 Hey, guys.

01:10:05.000 How's it going?

01:10:06.000 How's it going?

01:10:07.000 Good, man.

01:10:09.000 So, just going about, you brought up Azalea Bax yesterday.

01:10:13.000 I'm a fairly big fan of her music, but holy shit, she seems fucking crazy.

01:10:17.000 I was just curious how it came to be that you guys had drinks together.

01:10:20.000 Like, she did a shit like Bruce Maria, and there's videos online of her slaughtering chickens for sacrifice and stuff.

01:10:27.000 So, I was just curious how that came to happen.

01:10:30.000 Yeah, she's friends with Milo.

01:10:32.000 And I think Jack, you know, I remember one little piece of gossip at our lunch.

01:10:36.000 I think Jack Twitter had called her and said, I want to take you out for lunch.

01:10:42.000 And she was like, okay, you seem rich.

01:10:46.000 And they went out for lunch.

01:10:48.000 And then I think she realized he's a fag and wasn't interested in sex with her.

01:10:54.000 And I think she was bummed because she wanted to fucking get reamed.

01:10:58.000 She's kind of a cool chick, actually.

01:11:01.000 She's really raunchy and funny and cool to hang out with.

01:11:06.000 I just wish that her and Milo's husband didn't get off on a tangent about fucking astrology.

01:11:15.000 Is it true that Gavin puked in David Bowie's sink?

01:11:18.000 I remember him saying that passively once.

01:11:20.000 Gavin?

01:11:22.000 Yeah, I remember in a while.

01:11:24.000 I was like, from years ago, he just kind of passively mentions David Bowie's sink.

01:11:28.000 You're talking to Gavin.

01:11:29.000 You're talking to Gavin.

01:11:31.000 Oh shit, Milo.

01:11:33.000 Milo, sorry.

01:11:35.000 Yeah, I would take everything Milo says with a fucking oil tank container of salt.

01:11:41.000 But yeah, he says he puked in David Bowie's sink.

01:11:44.000 He says that he says he used to have fake, like Louis Vuitton, whatever, until David Bowie told him to never do that.

01:11:53.000 I don't know.

01:11:53.000 I don't believe it.

01:11:54.000 But yeah, that's what he said.

01:11:57.000 He hung out with David Bowie.

01:11:58.000 That's exclusive.

01:12:00.000 That's pretty big.

01:12:02.000 You sound like Nardwar.

01:12:04.000 All right, thanks for calling, buddy.

01:12:05.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:12:06.000 Doot, doodle, doot, doot.

01:12:08.000 Doodle, doot, doot.

01:12:10.000 Doot, doot, doot, doot.

01:12:11.000 Doot doot.

01:12:15.000 I knew Nardwar quite well.

01:12:16.000 I felt like we were friends.

01:12:23.000 Three years worth of Bruheria.

01:12:26.000 Bruheria.

01:12:28.000 Yes, you know I gotta scrape all this shit up.

01:12:31.000 My God.

01:12:31.000 I got my sandblaster, my goggles.

01:12:36.000 It's about to go down.

01:12:36.000 What's Bruheria?

01:12:39.000 Some witch shit.

01:12:44.000 Oh, it's probably wax?

01:12:47.000 She's weird.

01:12:48.000 It looks like chicken feathers and shit.

01:12:51.000 Yeah, maybe wax and chicken feathers.

01:12:55.000 You know what?

01:12:56.000 You know what Azealia Banks is?

01:12:58.000 Not boring.

01:12:59.000 You're right.

01:13:00.000 Yeah.

01:13:01.000 That's all I ask.

01:13:07.000 We have Resistance in Indiana.

01:13:13.000 Oh, hello, buddy buddy.

01:13:15.000 What is going on, off-duty buddy?

01:13:17.000 What are you doing?

01:13:20.000 I am an on-duty buddy for sure, okay?

01:13:23.000 Okay, let's do it, man.

01:13:24.000 Let's get going and all of the times and all stuff.

01:13:29.000 Yes, buddy.

01:13:31.000 You're saying there's only a few businesses, like, I don't know, you're talking about New York that have, that are, like, resisting lockdowns.

01:13:38.000 Yeah.

01:13:38.000 But I'm in Indiana, and if you look up, Ryan, look up Yergi's State Road BBQ in Bluffton, Indiana.

01:13:47.000 Y-E-R-G-Y paste.

01:13:51.000 Yergi's State Road BBQ.

01:13:52.000 It's a little, little barbecue shop.

01:13:54.000 They're really good.

01:13:55.000 Gotcha.

01:13:55.000 And the owner is Matt Yergler.

01:14:00.000 He's a righteous, godly man, okay, buddy?

01:14:02.000 Okay, buddy.

01:14:06.000 I mean, you can look up like on, I mean, you can't look on Facebook because they hate you, but they got fined by the county board.

01:14:17.000 I think the county was claiming that the governor had the authority to shut them down and they were violing mask mandates because they wouldn't require it.

01:14:27.000 And so they refused it.

01:14:29.000 They were shut down.

01:14:31.000 And so now they've got a ton of support behind them.

01:14:34.000 They made signs that said, say yes to barbecue, say no to tyranny.

01:14:39.000 That's awesome.

01:14:40.000 All kinds of good fun.

01:14:41.000 Are you in Indiana?

01:14:43.000 But yes.

01:14:45.000 What's it like there?

01:14:46.000 I don't know anything about Indiana besides maybe David Leonardo.

01:14:51.000 Okay, so what's that guy from Barstool?

01:14:54.000 I forget his name.

01:14:55.000 Is it KFC?

01:14:58.000 The main guy, the Jew?

01:15:00.000 Is that his name?

01:15:00.000 Oh, Dave Portnoy.

01:15:01.000 Dave Portnoy?

01:15:03.000 Yeah, he got some corn shipped to him from Markle, Indiana, which is not far from Bluffton, and he loved it.

01:15:11.000 He said, this corn fucks.

01:15:12.000 That's a quote.

01:15:14.000 So I asked you about your state, the history of the state, what the culture's like there, and your takeaway is that the guy from Barstow got a corn shipment?

01:15:24.000 Well, yeah, my point is corn.

01:15:29.000 That's it?

01:15:32.000 Well, yeah, I mean, that's the majority of it.

01:15:35.000 What was it like growing up there?

01:15:36.000 Did you get laid okay?

01:15:37.000 Like, were there bands?

01:15:39.000 I got laid okay.

01:15:40.000 What's an Indiana band?

01:15:42.000 No, you got your county girls, you got your city girls, but, you know, girls are girls.

01:15:49.000 Pounding and pounding and heading out.

01:15:52.000 What's a big Indiana band?

01:15:56.000 Big Indiana band?

01:15:57.000 Yeah.

01:15:58.000 Speedwagon.

01:15:59.000 Oh.

01:16:00.000 R.E.O. Speedwagon?

01:16:02.000 Yeah, they're Indiana-born, corn-fed, just like me.

01:16:06.000 Okay.

01:16:07.000 Can you discuss your state without mentioning corn?

01:16:12.000 It's possible, but come on, man.

01:16:14.000 It's not likely.

01:16:17.000 Not likely.

01:16:18.000 All right, man.

01:16:19.000 Thanks for coming.

01:16:20.000 People don't like it, but it's a good place.

01:16:22.000 It really is.

01:16:23.000 Oh, I'm on the Facebook.

01:16:24.000 It looks like I have access to the videos.

01:16:26.000 What video would it be?

01:16:29.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:16:30.000 I didn't do my research before, but I'm telling you, they're trying to take this suit against the county to the Indiana Supreme Court.

01:16:38.000 And we're really hoping to get there.

01:16:40.000 The county rejected their claim that the governor doesn't have the authority.

01:16:44.000 They have a constitutional lawyer on their side, and he says the governor doesn't have the authority to tell you to shut down.

01:16:51.000 And the county said, no, fuck off.

01:16:53.000 They do have the authority.

01:16:54.000 So they're suing it.

01:16:54.000 It's funny how it's always barbecue, huh?

01:16:56.000 All right.

01:16:56.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

01:16:57.000 We'll look it up.

01:16:58.000 So that's what?

01:16:59.000 Four now.

01:17:00.000 Throw me a tissue.

01:17:02.000 Ooh, okay.

01:17:03.000 I made a boo-boo.

01:17:07.000 It'd be hard to throw it, so I just handed it.

01:17:11.000 So there's the New Jersey gym.

01:17:15.000 There's the Canadian barbecue guy in Etobicoke.

01:17:24.000 That's two.

01:17:25.000 There's our Staten Island Boys in Max Public House.

01:17:28.000 That's three.

01:17:30.000 And then we have the New Jersey Gym, New Jersey Gym, Canadian Barbecue, Staten Island, and now this student, Indiana, that's four.

01:17:58.000 Matt Yergler accuses the Department of targeting the restaurant to make an example out of it.

01:18:03.000 We reached out to the county health department after hours were waiting for a response on if refusal to comply with that mask requirement was indeed the reason for shutting your company.

01:18:15.000 What the frick.

01:18:18.000 What if like our neighbors in this building realize that this is the place where they do the Gavin McInnes show get off my lawn and they start sabotaging it?

01:18:29.000 Oh, I see.

01:18:30.000 Just start knocking shit around.

01:18:34.000 All right, next call.

01:18:37.000 I want to learn about Indiana.

01:18:38.000 Yorgi State Barbecue.

01:18:40.000 A way that you can support with these people, buddy, is that remember at MAX, people are ordering shirts.

01:18:45.000 They can't get food because it's perishable and they can't ship it, right?

01:18:49.000 So they'll order their merch.

01:18:50.000 So that way it's kind of a donation.

01:18:52.000 Or if they don't have a GoFundMe or something like that.

01:18:54.000 Right.

01:18:55.000 So that's a thing you could do.

01:18:57.000 Oh, by the way, the guy who got knocked out in DC, I think he has a GoFundMe coming.

01:19:01.000 Oh, nice.

01:19:02.000 Joe.

01:19:04.000 We'll call him Joe.

01:19:06.000 GP.

01:19:07.000 What?

01:19:08.000 Rye there?

01:19:12.000 Yes, sir.

01:19:14.000 Hello?

01:19:15.000 Rye there?

01:19:16.000 Yes.

01:19:18.000 Hey, hey.

01:19:19.000 So I was watching Wolf of Wall Street this weekend, and that piece of shit, Rob Reiner, his character, is like this guy who's super high-strung, but then as soon as he answers the phone,

01:19:36.000 he's all like calm and English-accent-y fucker, right?

01:19:41.000 Yeah.

01:19:42.000 You sound very Canadian, sir.

01:19:44.000 Gav's dad the same way because the way Gav impersonates him is this high-strung Scotsman, but when you talk to him, he sounds like a calm guy.

01:19:56.000 Yeah, I get that a lot with my dad.

01:19:58.000 And every time that comes up, I say to the person, why don't you go cross him?

01:20:06.000 Why don't you go play trivial pursuit with him and get the wrong answer twice in a row if he's on your team and see this sweet old man turn to fucking human fire and say, who is this man?

01:20:22.000 I do not want him on my team.

01:20:24.000 He knows nothing.

01:20:28.000 It gets disturbing.

01:20:29.000 How did you turn it on and off so easily?

01:20:31.000 Well, my brother and I have become absolute fucking ninjas at making him mad.

01:20:37.000 One thing you do is you tell him that you really care about celebrities and what they think.

01:20:44.000 And after Lady Dye died, I told him that Elton John did a beautiful song for Lady Dye called A Candle in the Wind.

01:20:53.000 And it was just absolutely heartbreaking.

01:20:56.000 And he goes, that song was written for Marilyn Monroe.

01:21:00.000 He's a fucking fraud.

01:21:04.000 And boy, was he mad.

01:21:07.000 And then when they get mad, you have to keep going with the bit.

01:21:10.000 You have to commit to the bit and go, no, I don't think that's true.

01:21:14.000 This was about Lady Dye.

01:21:16.000 And it was just a beautiful testament to her, their friendship and how much he cares about her.

01:21:22.000 You can really fucking make them mad.

01:21:25.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:21:26.000 We're going to watch that now.

01:21:29.000 Toodaloo.

01:21:30.000 Toodaloo, motherfucker.

01:21:33.000 This is what he was talking about, Byron.

01:21:35.000 Oh, please tell me something I don't know.

01:21:37.000 I wait all week for the fucking equalizer and they have to fucking...

01:21:41.000 Hello.

01:21:42.000 But as soon as he picked up the phone, Gene, how are you, Jane?

01:21:45.000 Hello.

01:21:46.000 That's Scottish people.

01:21:48.000 I bet that's...

01:21:49.000 No Jews are like that.

01:21:50.000 Rob Reiner's a Jew playing a Scotsman in that particular song.

01:21:57.000 They whispered into your head that said you are the treadmill.

01:22:02.000 Imagine being really into Elton John.

01:22:04.000 Yeah, it never stuck for me.

01:22:05.000 Like you were just like, shh, Elton John's on.

01:22:08.000 Seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the window.

01:22:15.000 Never know who to cling to when the rain set in.

01:22:20.000 I'm not going to deny he's a talented penis.

01:22:22.000 Right.

01:22:24.000 But the idea of actually liking that just boggles the mind.

01:22:28.000 Even Billy Joel.

01:22:30.000 I mean, yeah, you got some hits there.

01:22:32.000 Fuck.

01:22:33.000 Have fun with them.

01:22:34.000 I mean, Anthony's song isn't.

01:22:35.000 That's a slammer.

01:22:37.000 What?

01:22:38.000 Anthony's song?

01:22:39.000 What's that?

01:22:40.000 That's a fucking damn dude.

01:22:42.000 Yeah, no one listens to your taste of music, Ryan.

01:22:45.000 The Stranger was a great album.

01:22:47.000 The Stranger was a great album.

01:22:52.000 That's very popular at the Kumia karaoke.

01:22:55.000 The Billy Joel.

01:22:56.000 Oh, so now I like it because Anthony Kumia likes it.

01:22:58.000 No, that's what I'm saying.

01:23:06.000 I will say I don't like the album cover that his little foot with his long toenails are like...

01:23:12.000 Oh, he's barefoot?

01:23:13.000 Yeah.

01:23:14.000 If you look at the album, I got the record.

01:23:17.000 His prominent toenails are like all pointy and jagged and shit.

01:23:22.000 He's like a Jew thing.

01:23:30.000 We have Loblaws on the line.

01:23:32.000 Loblaws?

01:23:39.000 Hello, buddy.

01:23:40.000 What's going on, buddy?

01:23:43.000 I am to tell you that why your poop is brown is because your dead blood cells go out with it, you know.

01:23:51.000 Oh, is that really a true thing?

01:23:54.000 Yes, buddy.

01:23:55.000 We see it in the streets all the time.

01:23:57.000 It's the brown poop.

01:24:00.000 But wait a minute.

01:24:01.000 It is your dead blood cells.

01:24:04.000 But dandruff is dead blood cells, isn't it?

01:24:06.000 No, that's skin cells.

01:24:08.000 Dandruff, I think it's just dead skin.

01:24:10.000 I don't know.

01:24:12.000 Oh, I see.

01:24:13.000 So you have blood cells that get because isn't it just a mix of all the different food?

01:24:19.000 I mean, if you mixed a thousand colors, they would come out shit brown.

01:24:26.000 Well, I think maybe if you...

01:24:28.000 I don't know.

01:24:29.000 Wait, you don't sound very confident in this.

01:24:31.000 I'm not a genius on poop.

01:24:34.000 well, you called as a poop genius.

01:24:36.000 You have to call the corn guy.

01:24:37.000 And now you're backing out.

01:24:38.000 I bet the corn guy would have a lot to say about this.

01:24:41.000 Yeah, well, I mean, I just had heard that about poop.

01:24:43.000 I know no one had ever answered that for you, so I thought I would tell you, buddy.

01:24:47.000 Okay, buddy, thanks for calling, but I don't think that you have the wherewithal to back it up.

01:24:52.000 So, you know, we have to be dubious.

01:24:55.000 We have to be dubious of various things.

01:24:57.000 Here's what a cop sent me today, by the way.

01:25:00.000 Speaking of dubiosity, we're getting a lot of information here, okay?

01:25:08.000 So let's talk to this guy.

01:25:10.000 And he says, and I quote, big guy, big guy is Biden.

01:25:18.000 Ready?

01:25:19.000 Big guy approached Mitch McConnell and asked Mitch to promise him a deal will be made and kept big guy and kept.

01:25:25.000 Big guy doesn't trust Trump.

01:25:26.000 McConnell agreed and facilitated the negotiations.

01:25:29.000 What?

01:25:30.000 I'll just say Biden from now on.

01:25:32.000 Biden is singing like a bird as far as the election.

01:25:34.000 It's all over, but the confession slash concession.

01:25:39.000 Biden wants a pardon for himself and his family has turned on China.

01:25:44.000 There's no dog ankle injury.

01:25:48.000 Biden is wearing that boot because he's covering the ankle bracelet.

01:25:57.000 The Iranian scientist that was assassinated is actually alive and well.

01:26:02.000 He defected with his family.

01:26:03.000 He's also singing like a bird.

01:26:05.000 Obama is being implicated in some major, major crimes, along with Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Justice John Roberts, John Podesta, and many, many more.

01:26:15.000 Anyone remember that $1.5 billion in cash?

01:26:18.000 Yeah, it wasn't what you think it was.

01:26:20.000 Five U.S. Army Patriots lost their lives retrieving the Dominion servers in Frankfurt, Germany.

01:26:28.000 They were successful, but paid the ultimate price.

01:26:31.000 The CIA attempted to stop our soldiers.

01:26:34.000 They failed.

01:26:35.000 The servers are and have been for two weeks in the hands of Sidney Powell and Donald J. Trump.

01:26:40.000 Biden has seen this server data.

01:26:42.000 The mainstream media reported these soldiers' deaths as a helicopter crash in Egypt.

01:26:47.000 This was untrue.

01:26:49.000 There was a CIA agent also killed in the firefight.

01:26:53.000 His death has been reported by the media as occurring in Somalia.

01:26:56.000 This is also untrue.

01:26:58.000 The reason I laughed is because I thought how funny it would be on this live stream is if I was reciting this theory, I got shot in the head.

01:27:06.000 And you just saw me go, so apparently they're dead in spite of it.

01:27:10.000 It's quiet.

01:27:10.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet.

01:27:14.000 That would suck.

01:27:19.000 I am reading her.

01:27:21.000 The reason I think those kind of things do well, like that thing I just read you, is because as I'm reading it, I want it to be true as bad as you.

01:27:30.000 And I'm just like, yeah, please be true.

01:27:33.000 Please let Biden be wearing a fucking ankle bracelet.

01:27:38.000 But we know he's not.

01:27:40.000 That's ridiculous.

01:27:42.000 Just goofy, buddy.

01:27:43.000 That's so goofy, buddy.

01:27:45.000 Come on, man.

01:27:46.000 Come on, man.

01:27:47.000 You know the thing.

01:27:50.000 Auto screen fail.

01:27:51.000 267.

01:27:53.000 You're on alarm.

01:27:59.000 What's up, buddy?

01:28:00.000 What's going on?

01:28:01.000 You're on the air, my dude.

01:28:04.000 How are you doing today, my friend?

01:28:06.000 Oh, my gosh.

01:28:07.000 I got all manner of things encroaching on me.

01:28:09.000 Bon, not unlike the Rastafarian Babylon.

01:28:14.000 Okay, well, I have one question for you, Gavin.

01:28:16.000 Okay, buddy.

01:28:20.000 All right, Gavin.

01:28:22.000 So I banged this 9.1 a few weeks back.

01:28:25.000 And this question's for Gavin, not for Ryan because we know he doesn't get laid.

01:28:28.000 Hey.

01:28:29.000 But anyways, I woke up with scars and scratches all over my back, like I got mauled from the bear from the Revenant.

01:28:38.000 I was wondering if Gavin had any similar experiences.

01:28:43.000 Buddy, I've been there a million times, my friend.

01:28:46.000 You need to get a ring on that as soon as possible.

01:28:49.000 You have bagged the ultimate fucking prize, and you need to recognize that and not chicken out.

01:28:57.000 You know, a lot of guys, they say, oh, I had to get rid of her.

01:29:01.000 She was nuts.

01:29:02.000 What they really mean is she was a fucking catch and I didn't have the balls to continue to pursue it.

01:29:10.000 So, dude, just marry her right now.

01:29:16.000 All right.

01:29:18.000 Sounds good.

01:29:18.000 Thank you, Gavin.

01:29:19.000 Yeah, you got a catch there.

01:29:20.000 All right.

01:29:22.000 That's great.

01:29:23.000 Just clawing him, scratching him.

01:29:26.000 What a number one he's got going on, my friend.

01:29:32.000 We have Chris on the line.

01:29:37.000 Chris Biss.

01:29:38.000 Chris.

01:29:40.000 Hey, baby.

01:29:41.000 Oh, hi, Chris.

01:29:42.000 How are you?

01:29:44.000 Fine, how are you doing?

01:29:46.000 Good.

01:29:47.000 I'm getting very flirtatious vibes from you.

01:29:51.000 I have a question for you, okay?

01:29:52.000 Are you ready?

01:29:53.000 Are you married?

01:29:54.000 Is that the question?

01:29:58.000 I am not married.

01:29:59.000 Anyway, if you were to be a fag for one day, are you ready?

01:30:05.000 A fag?

01:30:06.000 Do you watch Peaky Blinders?

01:30:07.000 You're a Peaky Blinders guy, right?

01:30:09.000 Yep.

01:30:10.000 Okay.

01:30:11.000 So if you had to fag yourself out for one day, would you fuck Tom Hardy or Killian Murphy?

01:30:19.000 Um, wait, I'm gonna have to pull up Killian Murphy.

01:30:22.000 There's one of the guys who looks exactly like me.

01:30:25.000 Um, I'm glad you didn't bring up the main guy because I hate that guy.

01:30:30.000 He's such a fucking hunk.

01:30:32.000 And it's like you're watching a show about murderers.

01:30:35.000 Don't show me some hunk male model from, you know, Ford modeling agency.

01:30:41.000 He actually pulls me out of it, and I think he kind of ruined Peaky Blinders for me.

01:30:45.000 You know, the guy who was the mask in Batman?

01:30:50.000 Yeah, Tom Hardy.

01:30:51.000 Scarecrow.

01:30:52.000 Mask.

01:30:54.000 But hold on.

01:30:55.000 So Thomas Hardy, I know.

01:30:56.000 Tom Hardy, I know.

01:30:58.000 Who's the other guy?

01:31:00.000 Well, it was Tom Hardy or Killian Murphy.

01:31:03.000 So you got to pick one.

01:31:04.000 Killian Murphy.

01:31:08.000 And we are talking about Pee Blinders.

01:31:14.000 You know, Tom Hardy.

01:31:14.000 Killian is the thing.

01:31:16.000 Tom Hardy's a midget, you realize.

01:31:19.000 I know, I know, I know.

01:31:21.000 And that's got to come up.

01:31:22.000 You know, one time I was watching, I think it was The Revenant with my wife, and I fucked her that night, and she was so wet that she goes, oh, I think I might be on my period.

01:31:33.000 And she wasn't.

01:31:35.000 And I realized later she was period wet because she'd been looking at Tom Hardy all night at the movie theater.

01:31:44.000 And in that movie, he's been scalped.

01:31:49.000 He has half a head.

01:31:52.000 So Tom Hardy.

01:31:53.000 I know he's pretty hot.

01:31:55.000 Tom Hardy, as a midget with half a head, is more attractive to my wife than fucking a hunk like me.

01:32:02.000 Sorry, this is acting weird.

01:32:05.000 What's his name again, the other guy?

01:32:09.000 The scarecrow from Batman and the other side.

01:32:11.000 No, not him.

01:32:12.000 That's him.

01:32:12.000 Oh, that's Killian Murphy?

01:32:13.000 Oh, that's easy.

01:32:14.000 Killian Murphy looks like a weird chick.

01:32:19.000 And I know it's weird that I'm saying I'd rather fuck a dude, but I don't know.

01:32:24.000 I feel like it's hard to explain.

01:32:28.000 Like, you'd think I'd want to fuck the most feminine man available.

01:32:33.000 But I don't know.

01:32:36.000 Go gay or go home.

01:32:37.000 Yeah, once we're getting gay, we want to get real gay.

01:32:43.000 Thanks for calling.

01:32:45.000 Yeah, I kind of contradicted myself there.

01:32:48.000 And maybe I learned something about myself.

01:32:51.000 Because would you rather fuck an effeminate man?

01:32:55.000 Like, say you're going to be gay, or you have to fuck a man, your whole family's going to die, right?

01:33:00.000 Would you rather he was like a tough guy?

01:33:05.000 Like a bear, a tough buddy, or like a super.

01:33:08.000 Obviously, if it's like Blair White or Bailey J or a trans, you'd go with that because you're like, at least it's close.

01:33:16.000 But within the normal realm of normal men, and I'm asking you this, Ryan.

01:33:24.000 Sure.

01:33:25.000 Would you rather...

01:33:27.000 Well, like, why don't you do the Tom Hardy other guy thing?

01:33:29.000 Because I'm starting to feel gay and I'm getting embarrassed.

01:33:32.000 Well, I remember, I don't remember why, but there was a dissection of Tom Hardy.

01:33:38.000 Was that on the show?

01:33:39.000 And we looked through him and we looked at interviews.

01:33:41.000 He's like scrawny.

01:33:43.000 He doesn't have a great body.

01:33:44.000 Wait a minute.

01:33:45.000 We're talking about you fucking a dude.

01:33:47.000 So now you have all these criteria about like you have to have a good body for me to fuck you.

01:33:51.000 Tom Hardy.

01:33:52.000 If I had to pick, don't I have to pick between these guys?

01:33:55.000 Yeah, but now you're getting super gay.

01:33:58.000 Oh.

01:33:58.000 Where you're like, they have to be in great shape.

01:34:01.000 No, I'm just ruling out.

01:34:03.000 It's too scrawny for me.

01:34:06.000 I don't want to fuck him.

01:34:07.000 Sorry, too scrawny.

01:34:09.000 No, I'm asking, like, think of effeminate men.

01:34:12.000 Like, David Beckham is an effeminate man.

01:34:16.000 Tony Soprano, what's his name?

01:34:20.000 James Gandalfini.

01:34:21.000 James Gandalfini is a very difficult situation.

01:34:23.000 Steve Coogan is my man.

01:34:24.000 Okay, we're not talking about that.

01:34:26.000 Jesus.

01:34:26.000 What the hell?

01:34:26.000 I don't think you're gay.

01:34:27.000 That's my guy.

01:34:29.000 You flourish when this subject comes up.

01:34:33.000 This is the first thing you're asking me.

01:34:35.000 So let me just rephrase everything.

01:34:38.000 Would you rather be fucked by James Gandalfini or David Beckham?

01:34:43.000 I would think David Beckham because there would be less smell.

01:34:46.000 I feel like I love James.

01:34:48.000 Smell.

01:34:48.000 So your problem with having sex with men is smell.

01:34:52.000 No, but that's got to be a lot of it.

01:34:54.000 I mean, I know, you know, we'd be sweating, right, guys?

01:34:58.000 Oh, this is so weird.

01:35:00.000 I feel like it'll be more of a high temperature.

01:35:01.000 I'm just hoping your terrible answers are because you're retarded and not because you're gay.

01:35:06.000 I mean, is there a difference?

01:35:07.000 You're actually answering these like an Amish virgin.

01:35:10.000 Aren't gays just like sex retards?

01:35:12.000 You're a retard retard.

01:35:14.000 Okay, let's do the next call.

01:35:16.000 Frick.

01:35:16.000 Stream lost connection.

01:35:18.000 Now I think it's coming back up.

01:35:20.000 You know, we might fare well with a restart because I've lost the ability to show anything on my screen.

01:35:34.000 Okay, let's reboot.

01:35:36.000 I think we have to do a reboot, buddy.

01:35:38.000 Is this all still recording?

01:35:40.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:41.000 But people at home are seeing nothing.

01:35:44.000 No, and while we restart, we'll be able to...

01:35:51.000 Yes, he does.

01:35:52.000 I've never denied that.

01:35:54.000 I think we're back.

01:35:55.000 Hold on, wait.

01:35:56.000 Oh, it's initializing.

01:35:57.000 So it'll take an initial second, buddy.

01:36:02.000 Yeah, I'm not online.

01:36:04.000 What the fudge, buddy?

01:36:05.000 I think we are streaming now, buddy.

01:36:08.000 Do you think we're streaming?

01:36:09.000 Because I'm going nowhere, pal.

01:36:16.000 I'm putting up Dernay dance lyrics.

01:36:19.000 I'm getting fucked all, dude.

01:36:22.000 Yeah.

01:36:49.000 I mean, should I probably log off?

01:36:51.000 Do you think my internet is fucking shit up?

01:36:55.000 That'd be maybe...

01:36:57.000 Turn my Wi-Fi.

01:36:58.000 I mean, I think we stream it right now.

01:37:00.000 Well, there's one way to check.

01:37:02.000 I can't get connection to the fucking...

01:37:04.000 I can't show my screen.

01:37:06.000 What the hell?

01:37:07.000 Live show went down.

01:37:09.000 I'm getting messages from people.

01:37:11.000 All sorts of people.

01:37:13.000 Don't worry.

01:37:13.000 When we move to a new studio, which is momentarily, couldn't be more than a couple months, we will have all of this worked out.

01:37:23.000 Let me just go to my own app and see if my own face is on there.

01:37:31.000 No live streams available.

01:37:32.000 We're not live right now.

01:37:34.000 What the frip?

01:37:37.000 Well, we're recording.

01:37:39.000 So I don't know what that means.

01:37:44.000 We're twenty minutes short of a show here.

01:37:46.000 Alright, let's just.

01:37:47.000 It's not working, dude.

01:37:49.000 This one I'm pretty happy with.

01:37:51.000 I kind of copied it off a Google image cartoon of Trump.

01:37:58.000 This I did not copy.

01:38:00.000 I don't know what it is or what it means.

01:38:03.000 It kind of sucks.

01:38:05.000 I hope it gets at least $100.

01:38:07.000 We will begin selling the show notes on the site.

01:38:16.000 But I guess it's time to wrap it up.

01:38:19.000 Yes.

01:38:21.000 No internet connection.

01:38:22.000 What the fuck?

01:38:22.000 You have no internet connection.

01:38:24.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 03, 2020

GOML LIVE #76 - The last dance

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