Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #77

00:00:33.000 You just fucking do you understand?

00:00:37.000 I'm the garbage man.

00:00:40.000 What a fucking great band that was.

00:00:42.000 Every time I hear them, I remember that when we did a feature of them in Vice in like the mid-90s, I made the headline, The Gramps.

00:00:52.000 What a fucking stupid shithead 25-year-old I was.

00:00:58.000 I thought I would try something new today.

00:01:01.000 Let's try to do a typical get off my lawn show, minus the green screen, and an interview, and do like the mailbag and all that shit, all the sections in half an hour.

00:01:14.000 And then peace out the freebie part and continue our shiznit.

00:01:20.000 So we'll have a final video at 9.30.

00:01:23.000 The subscribers still have another hour and a half to party.

00:01:26.000 And we do them.

00:01:27.000 How are you doing, by the way?

00:01:28.000 You don't seem to be partying very hard.

00:01:30.000 No.

00:01:31.000 Speaking of the cramps, I think I got the cramps or something.

00:01:36.000 Well, you got to show yourself when you're talking.

00:01:40.000 So what's happening there?

00:01:41.000 Darkness?

00:01:42.000 I look like the dark boy.

00:01:46.000 You got some stomach problems?

00:01:48.000 Yeah, my stomach burns.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, you made a pot of coffee at 5 p.m.

00:01:52.000 I told you not to do that.

00:01:53.000 True.

00:01:55.000 Vincent, a friend sent pizza.

00:02:01.000 You're a great person.

00:02:02.000 I appreciate it.

00:02:03.000 Do you have your own talk show?

00:02:04.000 No.

00:02:05.000 I produce a show, but I don't talk much.

00:02:09.000 Stomach hurts.

00:02:10.000 That was great.

00:02:11.000 Way to get the ball rolling.

00:02:14.000 The Cramps were like a psychobilly band where rockabilly and punk had an affair, and it became really big in Britain.

00:02:21.000 Psychobillies were everywhere.

00:02:22.000 They had pompadours that went out like this big, but it never really caught on in the States.

00:02:26.000 I don't know why.

00:02:28.000 I think one of them's dead now.

00:02:30.000 But they were the real deal.

00:02:31.000 They were not fucking around.

00:02:35.000 And that album, Bad Music for Bad People, has to be heard to be believed.

00:02:39.000 It's a masterpiece.

00:02:41.000 Sounds like a greatest hits album.

00:02:42.000 What was I talking about, the Gramps?

00:02:44.000 Fuck me.

00:02:47.000 But before we get started, let's hear a word from our sponsor, our most popular sponsor ever, Johnny Apple CBD.

00:02:55.000 You should hear Tommy Bags at the gym talking about CBD.

00:02:58.000 Oh my, yeah, my legs were fucked up for a while there.

00:03:00.000 Then I put on the CBD.

00:03:01.000 Good to go.

00:03:02.000 Good to go.

00:03:03.000 You wouldn't believe how many guys I hear talk about how CBD aids their aching muscles.

00:03:08.000 That's definitely worked for me.

00:03:10.000 This episode is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, our official proud CBD.

00:03:14.000 Johnny Apple has been with us since the beginning.

00:03:17.000 Support Patreon-owned business.

00:03:19.000 Visit dot.

00:03:20.000 He's got www.here.

00:03:22.000 Jesus, that's such a boomer thing to do, dude.

00:03:25.000 Visit jacbd.com.

00:03:28.000 Who says visit www.

00:03:34.000 That's embarrassing.

00:03:36.000 Enter promo code Gavin to get 20% off all orders.

00:03:39.000 What do they got there?

00:03:40.000 They got the topicals.

00:03:41.000 They got the cartridges.

00:03:41.000 They got the cookies.

00:03:42.000 They got the tinctures.

00:03:44.000 They got the gummies.

00:03:44.000 They got the stem vaporizer.

00:03:46.000 You know, I know a girl at a barmaid, one of my pubs I go to.

00:03:51.000 She smokes, I don't think they sell this here, but like CBD pot.

00:03:58.000 They don't have the pot.

00:03:58.000 They have the vaporizers.

00:04:00.000 Right, which I guess is the same thing, similar.

00:04:03.000 But like she smokes non-THC pot and gets a buzz.

00:04:07.000 And she showed me some and I smelled it and it smelt like weed.

00:04:11.000 So this might, like, I get the deal with the gummies is you sort of have a pot buzz without the pot buzz, which is probably what we were smoking in the 80s.

00:04:22.000 That's how old I am.

00:04:23.000 I was smoking weed in 1984.

00:04:25.000 How old were you in 1984?

00:04:29.000 Get your Christmas shopping done early with JohnnyApple CBD.

00:04:32.000 That's jacbd.com.

00:04:34.000 Enter promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.

00:04:37.000 Thanks, Johnny Apple CBD.

00:04:40.000 Fun dudes.

00:04:41.000 Okay, so we got the song.

00:04:44.000 We see we talk about our songs every intro, so we don't have to pay for them.

00:04:47.000 We call it editorial.

00:04:48.000 Here's a book.

00:04:49.000 Today's book is called Hell.

00:04:54.000 Separate truth from fiction and get your toughest questions answered.

00:04:59.000 Now, I can be a Christian, God-fearing man, and still laugh my head off at this book.

00:05:02.000 Bill Weiss went to hell.

00:05:06.000 I guess he was sick or something, and he was dead for a couple minutes, and he went to hell.

00:05:11.000 And I realized, so I bought this at the airport going, I want to hear what it's like.

00:05:16.000 And the whole time I'm reading this, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:19.000 How does God warn us?

00:05:20.000 What roads lead to hell?

00:05:21.000 God is not to blame.

00:05:22.000 The choice is yours.

00:05:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:25.000 Can I fucking get to hell, please?

00:05:27.000 I want to get to hell.

00:05:29.000 I want to hear the descriptions.

00:05:30.000 Like, is it a lake of fire?

00:05:32.000 This is, he doesn't get into it much in this book because it's his second book.

00:05:36.000 He's written two books on going to hell.

00:05:40.000 Might this person be a scam artist?

00:05:43.000 Now, like 500 fucking, like literally 278 pages into it, you hear that there's a long, long sort of underground highway of people just walking and it's on fire and it's hot.

00:05:56.000 And then eventually they come to this cliff and they try to turn back, but they can't because the mob is moving forward.

00:06:01.000 So they slowly topple off into this big lake of fire.

00:06:04.000 That's all I could get out of this whole thing.

00:06:07.000 But yeah, it's a fucking ripoff.

00:06:11.000 Do not buy this book.

00:06:13.000 New York Times best-selling author of 23 Minutes in Hell.

00:06:16.000 Yeah, that was the first one.

00:06:17.000 He went to hell for 23 minutes.

00:06:19.000 Imagine the PTSD you'd have.

00:06:22.000 Imagine if you were a pee, right?

00:06:25.000 And you were eaten by a guy and you go through his entrails all around.

00:06:31.000 Then you come out in the toilet.

00:06:32.000 I had an explosive diarrhea today and there was garden peas in it.

00:06:36.000 And as I'm flushing those peas that had just survived this and all the alcohol and stuff in there, I thought, now he's got to go on a whole other ride.

00:06:45.000 And guess what he has when he eventually ends up back in the Atlantic Ocean?

00:06:51.000 PTSD.

00:06:53.000 Oh, so lucky that is a lucky bird.

00:06:58.000 Anyway, I like buying.

00:06:59.000 I realized the other day I like shitty writing.

00:07:01.000 So I enjoyed that book.

00:07:03.000 And I enjoyed hearing his hustle and how serious he was and wondering about the scam and does he believe it?

00:07:10.000 That kind of stuff.

00:07:11.000 That's fun to me.

00:07:12.000 And this book I'm reading now, The Blue Chameleon, Daryl Cinquenta, it's kind of an awkwardly written book.

00:07:20.000 You can tell he sort of dictated it to a guy.

00:07:22.000 And this is no Kierkegaard.

00:07:25.000 This is no taming of the shrew.

00:07:28.000 First guy to get the vaccine is named Bill Shakespeare.

00:07:32.000 Boring story, who cares?

00:07:38.000 But I like that.

00:07:39.000 I don't know.

00:07:39.000 It's more authentic.

00:07:40.000 I've read enough good writing in my day.

00:07:42.000 I don't need everyone to be fucking Charles Bukowski.

00:07:49.000 Oh, wow.

00:07:50.000 This half hour really zips by.

00:07:52.000 Where'd my fucking notes go?

00:07:53.000 I'm going to try to stop swearing so much in these shows.

00:07:58.000 I saw an honest thief last night.

00:08:01.000 I kind of got in trouble with the missus.

00:08:03.000 There's a thing when you're married, when you're waiting for a good movie that you both like, and we both like Liam Neeson.

00:08:09.000 She actually calls him Liam Nisan because she had this mulatto roommate in college who hated white people.

00:08:16.000 And then my wife discovered that this woman was obsessed with Liam Neeson.

00:08:19.000 And she goes, I notice you keep watching Liam Neeson movies.

00:08:22.000 Do you like him?

00:08:23.000 And she goes, what?

00:08:24.000 I don't, who?

00:08:25.000 Liam Nisan?

00:08:27.000 So that's a running joke now.

00:08:29.000 We call him that.

00:08:31.000 It rocks.

00:08:33.000 I don't know why it's getting bad reviews.

00:08:35.000 It is so good.

00:08:36.000 It's about a thief, a bank robber who falls in love and decides to give all the money back.

00:08:41.000 But then the cops decide, actually, why don't we just steal the money?

00:08:44.000 And then they try to frame him.

00:08:46.000 This is my favorite kind of movie.

00:08:47.000 Guys who were framed, and they have to get the guys who killed them and prove their innocence.

00:08:57.000 It's not remotely original.

00:08:58.000 You know, we've got Harrison Ford doing all this shit, but it's fucking fun.

00:09:03.000 Which means I need a full confession from you.

00:09:06.000 Five.

00:09:07.000 Four.

00:09:08.000 It's an on-demand starting last night.

00:09:12.000 Anyway, my wife and I like this guy.

00:09:14.000 Especially I've got a certain set of skills.

00:09:18.000 But she's like, can you just wait till Friday?

00:09:20.000 I'm exhausted now.

00:09:21.000 And I was like, nah.

00:09:24.000 I don't want to.

00:09:26.000 I don't want to wait.

00:09:28.000 Last night was Tuesday night.

00:09:29.000 I don't want to wait Wednesday.

00:09:31.000 I've been waiting for this for weeks.

00:09:33.000 I consider going to the theater alone because it was playing nearby.

00:09:39.000 Is that bad?

00:09:40.000 Have I sinned?

00:09:41.000 I probably could have got laid on Friday because I have some pot.

00:09:47.000 So I kind of pulled it out there as a surprise.

00:09:49.000 But then, you know, you do something like that, you wait, and then the kids finally go to bed and she's like, I'm sorry, I am so beat.

00:09:55.000 We finally got the kids down.

00:09:56.000 It's 10 o'clock.

00:09:58.000 So, no.

00:10:01.000 I had movie infidelity last night.

00:10:04.000 It's a sin, but I did it.

00:10:08.000 I'll keep you posted.

00:10:08.000 I'll tell you what.

00:10:09.000 I'll tell you if there was an opening on Friday for us to watch a movie, and I'll tell you if I blew it.

00:10:14.000 I bet I didn't.

00:10:15.000 Uh-oh.

00:10:16.000 Emergencies?

00:10:19.000 I forget who that is.

00:10:27.000 Ryan, I'm realizing now you're right.

00:10:29.000 That KFC movie is a joke.

00:10:31.000 Yes.

00:10:33.000 Colonel Sanders is a funny character.

00:10:36.000 The thing that threw me off is everyone reporting on it so seriously and not getting the joke.

00:10:42.000 And it's on Lifetime.

00:10:43.000 And it's on Lifetime.

00:10:44.000 So Lifetime's taking the piss out of themselves.

00:10:47.000 Yeah.

00:10:49.000 Lifetime is mocking Lifetime movies.

00:10:52.000 There's a Steam game, which is a dating sim.

00:10:57.000 What do you do?

00:11:00.000 You try to earn Colonel Sanders' love, I believe.

00:11:04.000 The dating simulator.

00:11:05.000 I'm so disappointed in American youth that they give a shit about Japani Mei, which is for little Japanese children.

00:11:13.000 And now it's become an adult thing.

00:11:15.000 It's this infantilization of not just Western men, but Japanese men, men all over the world.

00:11:22.000 You know, all these politics like fuck Trump and you can't just be non-racist.

00:11:28.000 You have to be anti-racist.

00:11:29.000 All that dogma.

00:11:30.000 Trans people are real people.

00:11:33.000 And well, they are real people.

00:11:36.000 I had all those beliefs when I was 16.

00:11:39.000 And now you see 36, 46-year-olds with this kind of attitude.

00:11:45.000 And you just go, why is my adolescence the norm today?

00:11:51.000 It's disturbing.

00:11:53.000 But yeah, Lifetime is taking the piss out of themselves because they are funny, I guess.

00:11:59.000 Like, aren't you kind of making fun of your fans now?

00:12:03.000 Maybe it's like a good publicity for them, too.

00:12:06.000 I don't know, you know, I don't know if they're branching out.

00:12:09.000 They're probably not getting a lot of like new demographic.

00:12:12.000 So now they do Lifetime movie parodies just to make fun of Lifetime.

00:12:15.000 Let's give it a shot.

00:12:19.000 Okay, let's start the show with a Proud Boys segment.

00:12:24.000 So pull up the Proud Boys thingam and doodle.

00:12:27.000 Ooh.

00:12:28.000 And keto.

00:12:29.000 This is what we do, folks.

00:12:30.000 We have these little interstitials.

00:12:32.000 Start fights.

00:12:33.000 Finish them.

00:12:34.000 Proud of your boy.

00:12:38.000 I'll make you proud of your boy.

00:12:40.000 The speaker sounds really quiet.

00:12:42.000 Proud boys, stand back and stand by.

00:12:46.000 I don't care.

00:12:47.000 I don't mind.

00:12:49.000 No, it sounds good in the mix.

00:12:50.000 Okay.

00:12:51.000 But for the call, there's shit.

00:12:52.000 Probably turn it up for the calls.

00:12:54.000 So my alma mater vice, they're these sad cucks.

00:12:58.000 There's this genre of journal activists.

00:13:01.000 They're beta males.

00:13:03.000 They talk fanatically about right-wing patriots with testosterone.

00:13:08.000 They don't talk about the Aryan nations, but anyone who they deem as a Trump supporter who doesn't agree with them and maybe fucks too much, they obsessively comb through these people like me,

00:13:23.000 people like, they comb through my social media, try to find a transgression.

00:13:27.000 I call them the pussy patrol because they're pussies on patrol, patrolling the right.

00:13:33.000 And they don't get laid.

00:13:34.000 So this is a guy writing about these people.

00:13:37.000 Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnis, radical left eternalist of blame for domestic terrorism, not Patriots.

00:13:41.000 So scroll down.

00:13:42.000 So Weiss has this guy, for some, joining the Proud Boys was a stop on the way to neo-Nazi terror.

00:13:51.000 So someone approaches the group.

00:13:54.000 They say, hey, I'm a Nazi.

00:13:55.000 I'd like to join your group.

00:13:56.000 They say, fuck you.

00:13:57.000 And then that guy goes to a Nazi group.

00:13:58.000 Now this group is a gateway drug.

00:14:02.000 And the irony of that is, no, it's you, Cuck McGee.

00:14:09.000 It's you, Andy Campbell.

00:14:10.000 It's you, Ben.

00:14:11.000 Who's this guy?

00:14:12.000 Click on the Proud Boy's lawyer wanted to be a Nazi terrorist.

00:14:18.000 Ben MacGutch.

00:14:21.000 Mac Lemoureux.

00:14:23.000 It's these two Canadian dwarfs who don't get laid, and they obsessively follow people that won't beat them up.

00:14:29.000 They know I won't beat them up.

00:14:31.000 I'm a family man.

00:14:33.000 Well, if there's a risk of me getting caught, I won't.

00:14:36.000 You know, they never report on the Aryan nations.

00:14:39.000 Or when they're talking about hate, they totally ignore the black Hebrew Israelites.

00:14:44.000 And the Covenant Catholic school thing was a great example of that.

00:14:47.000 They had the black Hebrew Israelites pick a fight with these Catholic school kids.

00:14:52.000 And then the Catholics, everyone started swarming on the Catholic school kids.

00:14:55.000 And then they started the tape with the Indian going bong, bong, bong.

00:14:58.000 That was the black Hebrew Israelites.

00:15:00.000 BHI, as they're called, have been murdering Jews all over New York State and New Jersey.

00:15:05.000 Isn't that hate?

00:15:06.000 Where's your hate watch?

00:15:08.000 Nation of Islam, Farrakhan, talking about how Jews are termites.

00:15:12.000 They need to be exterminated.

00:15:14.000 No mention of that.

00:15:16.000 And I was thinking of the guy they're talking about there, the lawyer.

00:15:20.000 I knew him well.

00:15:22.000 And he just got hammered and hammered and hammered by Antifa.

00:15:26.000 They harassed his parents.

00:15:28.000 They got his law license revoked.

00:15:31.000 They kept terrorizing him and terrorizing him and calling him a Nazi and fucking with his life and coming to his house and vandalizing his truck.

00:15:39.000 And they just kept antagonizing him.

00:15:40.000 And one day he snapped.

00:15:42.000 And he went, yeah, now I am that monster.

00:15:44.000 And I want to kill all of you.

00:15:47.000 That's what happened to Paul Miller, the guy who got the journalist that got attacked from the Metro Club.

00:15:55.000 He got like extreme.

00:15:56.000 And now he's like a meme.

00:15:57.000 He dresses like the Joker and he's pretty far right.

00:16:00.000 Oh, really?

00:16:00.000 Or that other guy, I was going to say Joy Villa.

00:16:04.000 What's his name?

00:16:05.000 Oh, oh, Jovie Val.

00:16:07.000 Jovi Val.

00:16:08.000 He wears an actual swastika around his neck.

00:16:11.000 And he was bottled in the face for wearing a Trump hat.

00:16:15.000 So I could take the abuse, but some people don't.

00:16:17.000 Some people snap.

00:16:19.000 In other words, you were the gateway drug, my friend.

00:16:22.000 Antifa, the radical left, constantly harassing these people.

00:16:26.000 Some of them snap and become the monster they're being accused of.

00:16:29.000 And this is both with the extreme Antifa left who bottled Jovi's face, cut his face up.

00:16:35.000 He had to have plastic surgery to look normal.

00:16:38.000 But it's also with these journalists who are constantly like, you're a Nazi, that was racist.

00:16:43.000 And not just what you just did, but your country, your history, everything about you, Western male, is evil.

00:16:50.000 It's all slavery.

00:16:51.000 Everything is bad.

00:16:52.000 America sucks.

00:16:53.000 And eventually that radicalizes people.

00:16:56.000 And they go, you know what?

00:16:58.000 If me existing and not being ashamed of myself is to be a Nazi, then I'm a Nazi.

00:17:05.000 Now, the beauty of the Proud Boys is we say, no, no, no, that's not the ultimatum.

00:17:10.000 The Pussy Patrol is giving you a ridiculous ultimatum.

00:17:13.000 They're just sad vol cells, voluntarily celibate, who resent masculinity, resent patriotism, resent pride.

00:17:24.000 So they want you to be on this cuck nerd pussy thing, right?

00:17:29.000 This wimp thing.

00:17:30.000 It's revenge of the hurt.

00:17:32.000 And when you don't go that way, they want to punish you.

00:17:35.000 So just ignore them, first of all.

00:17:38.000 Let the dogs yap and come over here.

00:17:40.000 You cannot be ashamed of yourself, but also not be a radical.

00:17:44.000 It's not far right or hate yourself.

00:17:47.000 It's proud boys.

00:17:49.000 You don't have to hate yourself.

00:17:52.000 So the irony of these pussy patrol cuck journalists saying we are radicalizing people is we are doing the opposite.

00:17:59.000 They are radicalizing people.

00:18:00.000 If you're looking for the catalyst to the extreme right, then look in the mirror.

00:18:08.000 There's also feds going in there and saying we should kidnap the governor and some sad 20-year-olds have been abused by these dumb assholes by the pussy patrol.

00:18:16.000 They go, yeah, we should.

00:18:18.000 And the next thing you know, they've been entrapped into some stupid plot.

00:18:21.000 And that then justifies the pussy patrol's articles.

00:18:27.000 One of the silliest ones is this loser dwarf Andy Campbell.

00:18:31.000 He looks like the sloth from Ice Age.

00:18:35.000 You know that Ice Story thing?

00:18:37.000 Yeah.

00:18:37.000 What's his name again?

00:18:38.000 Sid.

00:18:39.000 Sid.

00:18:39.000 He looks like Sid the sloth.

00:18:41.000 Of course you know.

00:18:42.000 Right out of the gate.

00:18:43.000 Yeah, I grew up with that movie.

00:18:46.000 When I was 14.

00:18:49.000 Yeah, 14-year-olds.

00:18:50.000 That's what I was doing when I was 14.

00:18:52.000 I wasn't smoking pot in the back of a Chevy Nova, feeling up Donna DeLeva.

00:18:57.000 I was going to infants' movies.

00:18:59.000 I was smoking and touching.

00:19:01.000 Smoking and touching.

00:19:02.000 Okay, 02.

00:19:05.000 So this article was going around about how proud boys radicalized people.

00:19:09.000 And then this pussy, look, he spells my name wrong, so it won't come up on a search.

00:19:13.000 But this is supposed to be proof that I am the root of all evil.

00:19:18.000 Look at this wimp tattletale.

00:19:20.000 So click on the first picture.

00:19:22.000 I barely remember writing this.

00:19:23.000 It was 15 years ago.

00:19:25.000 So I'm talking about the first night you fuck, I think.

00:19:29.000 And I'm saying you have to Blow her mind, try Adderall, it makes you want to eat her ass, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:35.000 And then I say, once you have the go-ahead, so consent, do everything short of rape, almost scare the shit out of her.

00:19:42.000 And the reason that he's highlighting that is he's such a loser virgin that that's never occurred to him.

00:19:48.000 Rough sex, dangerous sex.

00:19:51.000 It will never happen to him.

00:19:53.000 And then he has this piece of evidence of a horrible thing I've done.

00:19:55.000 If you're any kind of race at all, you'd be stupid not to play the race card.

00:19:58.000 A great mulatto trick.

00:19:59.000 Oh, I guess he's mad I used the word mulatto.

00:20:02.000 Is to go up to the white girl and ask her what her parents would think about you two going out.

00:20:05.000 Girls love the idea of torturing their Archie Bunker fathers, and there's no reason why you shouldn't get your cut of that.

00:20:10.000 So I'm encouraging black dudes.

00:20:12.000 I'm actually disappointed that this is such a cuck thing.

00:20:14.000 But I'm realizing now this guy is so sensitive that he sees the word mulatto and then tunes out the content.

00:20:19.000 It's like the 10 things I hate about the Jews or a video that was pro-Zionist.

00:20:24.000 Anyway, I steal Derek Beckles' trick in that article and I say, because I would see him do this.

00:20:29.000 He'd put his arm next to her arm and he's like a light-skinned black and he'd go, what do you think our babies will look like?

00:20:34.000 And I saw it raking a lot of pussy for that guy.

00:20:36.000 So I put it in the guide with a rude word.

00:20:40.000 Rude word.

00:20:40.000 They used rude words.

00:20:41.000 Hey, dudes.

00:20:42.000 It's like when I went up to Will Summer, why don't you do anything on the Aryan nations?

00:20:45.000 That's a hate group.

00:20:46.000 And they're white.

00:20:47.000 You only seem worried about white hate.

00:20:49.000 Everyone has their beat.

00:20:50.000 And I said, no, Will, it's because you're a fucking pussy.

00:20:53.000 He's about this tall.

00:20:54.000 And he goes, we're done here and scatters away.

00:20:58.000 He flitted away.

00:21:01.000 Beard Vet is a proud sponsor of Censored.tv.

00:21:04.000 I'm wearing it in my beard right now.

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00:21:17.000 Oh, God.

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00:21:37.000 Promo code Gavin.

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00:21:40.000 I'm not really sticking to this 9.30 plan, am I?

00:21:43.000 I've got too much to say, yo.

00:21:46.000 I've got some heavy juice coming your ways, boys.

00:21:50.000 A tsunami.

00:21:51.000 Ezra Levant has uncovered an incredible scoop.

00:21:55.000 But before we get to that heavy news, let's keep silly for a second here.

00:22:00.000 And speaking of cock journalists, remember David Shortel, our favorite guy?

00:22:04.000 We went to Roger Stone's trial, and then we were, Milo and I were carrying signs.

00:22:08.000 It said, David Shortel, stakeout king.

00:22:11.000 David Shortel was the guy who said, I have a feeling they're going to bust Roger Stone.

00:22:18.000 So I'm going to stay at a hotel the night before, not sleep in front of his house, stay at a hotel.

00:22:23.000 Arrive at Roger Stone's house at 5 a.m.

00:22:26.000 And then the bust will probably happen soon after that.

00:22:28.000 Well, it did, Dave.

00:22:30.000 It happened at 5.15 a.m.

00:22:32.000 So your stakeout was 15 minutes.

00:22:35.000 That's got to be a world record, my friend.

00:22:39.000 And obviously everyone went, well, no, stakeouts are never 15 minutes.

00:22:42.000 You're clearly tipped off by the FBI.

00:22:44.000 CNN stuck with their lie and they went, no.

00:22:47.000 Then they have David come on.

00:22:49.000 He's a child, by the way.

00:22:51.000 He must be 25 years old.

00:22:53.000 And they go, your journalistic instincts are incredible.

00:22:56.000 How did you know that they were going to bust him?

00:22:58.000 Meanwhile, CNN knows how they know.

00:23:00.000 The FBI told him.

00:23:01.000 And he goes, I just, I mean, they weren't having a meeting on Friday, so I figured they were busy.

00:23:08.000 And then I thought, well, they're probably doing the bust that day.

00:23:10.000 And then I went down Thursday night and you didn't tell me to go there.

00:23:14.000 I went on my own volition, and the FBI didn't tell CNN.

00:23:19.000 So we kept mocking him, kept mocking him.

00:23:21.000 Because I always called him the errant thread.

00:23:23.000 He's the errant thread that unravels the whole sweater.

00:23:26.000 Because once you realize that stakeouts aren't 15 minutes, then you realize the FBI told the CNN, told CNN, then you realize that the big, deep state is in cahoots with the media.

00:23:36.000 They're all one big monster.

00:23:39.000 And then you realize that we're losing our democracy because the media is a PR firm that works for the DNC.

00:23:47.000 And Antifa is their paramilitary wing.

00:23:50.000 These groups are supposed to be distinct.

00:23:53.000 They aren't.

00:23:53.000 And David Shortel personifies that hole in the plot.

00:23:58.000 So I look him up the other day because in the movie An Honest Thief, they have, no, it's just called Honest Thief.

00:24:05.000 In the movie Honest Thief, they have a fed who's doing a stakeout and he's eating a hot dog and feeding his dog, a hot dog, which is cannibalism.

00:24:12.000 And you can tell that he's been in the car for like 30 hours.

00:24:16.000 Go, that's a stakeout.

00:24:17.000 Not 15 minutes.

00:24:19.000 Don't sleep at a hotel the night before an early morning bust.

00:24:24.000 But anyway, he's in Mexico now.

00:24:28.000 Reporter based in Mexico City.

00:24:30.000 Can we move that over?

00:24:32.000 I can't see it.

00:24:33.000 Former crime and justice reporter for CNN.

00:24:36.000 David, you had the scoop of the century.

00:24:38.000 You had the best journalistic instincts and now you're in Mexico?

00:24:41.000 Are you being swept under the rug?

00:24:43.000 Were you fired and now you're hiding?

00:24:46.000 Did the FBI pay you...

00:24:49.000 What do you think they could get away with?

00:24:50.000 $120,000 to fuck off and shut up?

00:24:53.000 His email's there.

00:24:54.000 I'd love to get him on the show.

00:24:55.000 Maybe you could email him and say, hello, Iran Rivera.

00:25:01.000 Can you come on my show?

00:25:02.000 We're doing a thing on great journalists who live in Mexico.

00:25:07.000 I could do that.

00:25:08.000 Yeah.

00:25:10.000 And then, oh my God, wouldn't that be fun?

00:25:13.000 See, that was the old days.

00:25:14.000 You could have controversial things.

00:25:17.000 You could ambush people.

00:25:19.000 You could have fights.

00:25:21.000 I'm looking, we've been making these commercials for Katie Hopkins, who is on censor.tv now.

00:25:25.000 And I was watching her old shows where she's like, I try to find the best in people, darling, but it's rarely there.

00:25:32.000 And all these great quotes, oh, you're fat and you're lazy, be honest.

00:25:36.000 And I thought, before like 2012, 2013 around, you could be bombastic and outrageous.

00:25:44.000 I mean, I was on Fox telling Tamara she'd be much happier at home.

00:25:48.000 Remember those days?

00:25:50.000 And then I think social media really, big tech really pushed the bubble, obviously big, very bigly after Trump.

00:25:57.000 And what that did was it sort of made These little individual bubbles where we're not ragging on each other anymore because everyone thinks the same way you do.

00:26:06.000 And so now we have these little segregated different sections.

00:26:08.000 It's almost like the Amish and the Hasidic Jews and the hipsters, and they all don't speak to each other.

00:26:14.000 They won't call me back.

00:26:15.000 Like, you wouldn't believe who's X'd me, like my friend's nanny.

00:26:20.000 I'm like, we've never discussed any of this shit.

00:26:22.000 And now you're using it on his grounds to not reply.

00:26:25.000 So when you take that away, people become mentally obese and they can't work out.

00:26:30.000 They don't have muscles up there.

00:26:32.000 So they can't break each other's balls.

00:26:34.000 So now Katie, when she's like, oh, fuck off, it would be normal barroom talk and you're used to it.

00:26:39.000 Now when she says something like, you're fat, you're lazy, you go, and you have a heart attack.

00:26:44.000 Like at the gym, we're constantly shitting on each other.

00:26:47.000 Huey comes in the other day and he just had a helmet on.

00:26:50.000 So his hair's all messy.

00:26:51.000 And Gary goes, you got low pressure, low water pressure in your apartment?

00:26:55.000 And he goes, why?

00:26:56.000 What do you mean?

00:26:56.000 Your hair's fuzzy.

00:26:58.000 It looks very fuzzy.

00:26:59.000 It looks like an animal's hair.

00:27:00.000 That's hilarious.

00:27:02.000 I mean, that's not exactly breaking his balls, but you get the idea of the general gist.

00:27:07.000 And we've lost that.

00:27:09.000 And now the Tattletale Pussy Patrol, they feel like they have some authority now.

00:27:13.000 Because instead of arguing, we tattle on each other and get people canceled and slap the wrist.

00:27:21.000 What's this pick sent separately?

00:27:22.000 Oh, that's the David Shortel thing.

00:27:24.000 No, no.

00:27:25.000 Oh, before that, that was the smelling the shit.

00:27:28.000 No, no.

00:27:28.000 What was before the David Shortel pick?

00:27:30.000 I don't know.

00:27:30.000 I was looking for an email and did not see.

00:27:33.000 Hmm.

00:27:35.000 And I looked in the share folder, also nothing.

00:27:37.000 By the way, speaking of KFC movie being a fake, not really a fake, but it's well aware of itself.

00:27:42.000 It's being ironic.

00:27:44.000 This is a joke, too.

00:27:46.000 I was excited, but I looked it up and it's not a thing.

00:27:50.000 Encourage women to smell their poop to be more inclusive to trans women.

00:27:54.000 And I'm glad that jokes like this exist because people need to be reminded that when you have your dick cut off and you make a vagina, the flesh inside is rotting and it smells like poo-poo.

00:28:07.000 You know why?

00:28:08.000 Because God doesn't want you, sorry, if you're atheist nature.

00:28:12.000 Nature doesn't want you to be around rotting stuff.

00:28:14.000 It's not good for evolution.

00:28:16.000 So the people who don't mind being around gangrenous sores, they're dead.

00:28:20.000 And the ones who go, you're rotting.

00:28:22.000 That probably means there's a disease around here.

00:28:24.000 I'm getting out of here.

00:28:26.000 That's why tranny's pussies stink.

00:28:28.000 Because God is saying, get away from this person.

00:28:32.000 That's just a fact.

00:28:38.000 Nature is anti-trans.

00:28:41.000 That's why they make it stink.

00:28:42.000 We didn't get to any of our segments.

00:28:43.000 We didn't even get to the Ezra's scoop.

00:28:45.000 Okay, I'll tell you Ezra's scoop.

00:28:47.000 And then we'll talk about Bubba and Hanks.

00:28:52.000 Craziest fucking story I've ever heard.

00:28:55.000 This is nuts.

00:28:56.000 So Ezra hears that China communists who are our enemies, Russia's our enemy too, but they don't have the kind of power China has.

00:29:05.000 I'm not scared of Russia.

00:29:06.000 I am scared of China.

00:29:08.000 And I'm scared of Islam.

00:29:10.000 I'm scared of all of them.

00:29:12.000 I have China phobia.

00:29:13.000 I'm an Islamophobe.

00:29:15.000 And I have Russia phobia.

00:29:17.000 It's all very rational.

00:29:19.000 It's not based on prejudice.

00:29:20.000 It's based on post-judice.

00:29:22.000 So anyway, they're showing off their navy.

00:29:25.000 And all the other communists go, great Navy, guys, you rock.

00:29:30.000 But then he, this was suspicious, because he sees that Canada and America are said to have gone.

00:29:36.000 Now he looks into the American, and it was just a spy who went, oh, okay.

00:29:40.000 I don't give a shit.

00:29:42.000 Of course you're going to send a spy.

00:29:44.000 But were Canadian delegates there and were they spies?

00:29:46.000 So he asked the government to send them the information about that.

00:29:49.000 They accidentally send him a compendium of all their past two years' behavior, like this thick.

00:29:58.000 And the other crazy part about this TMI document drop, they wiki leaked themselves, is they blacked out all the most important stuff, but they made it gray.

00:30:13.000 So all you have to do to read the banned shit is squint.

00:30:21.000 So as he's reading all the gray shit, he discovers that Canada is training China in cold weather warfare.

00:30:31.000 And America has officially objected to this.

00:30:35.000 And Canada's went, why?

00:30:37.000 Because it makes Trump mad?

00:30:39.000 No, dude.

00:30:40.000 Because China's our enemy and you're training our enemies to kill us.

00:30:45.000 Like, we should put Canada in jail.

00:30:47.000 Yeah, for treason.

00:30:49.000 For treason.

00:30:50.000 That's a declaration of war.

00:30:52.000 You're training our enemies to kill us.

00:30:54.000 Anyway, he's started a whole site about it called the China Files.

00:30:58.000 Check it out.

00:30:59.000 Oh, sorry.

00:31:00.000 It's 1-1.

00:31:02.000 I think I found what that was before, too, by the way.

00:31:04.000 Oh, what was it?

00:31:05.000 It was a video of the neighbors.

00:31:08.000 Oh, no, that's in racism.

00:31:09.000 Gotcha.

00:31:13.000 I mean, this is, how long is this video?

00:31:16.000 This should be an entire episode of our show.

00:31:19.000 So I feel like there are document showing how deeply Trudeau and his government are pressuring the Canadian armed forces to work closely with China's People's Liberation Army.

00:31:31.000 These documents show that even after China kidnapped two Canadian citizens, Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor, Trudeau still insisted that our military maintain warm ties with China's military.

00:31:45.000 Trudeau has made protecting the feelings of China's dictator, Xi Jinping, a priority for our armed forces.

00:31:53.000 Maybe that doesn't surprise you, but these documents also reveal that Trudeau has been sending Canadian troops to China to participate in that country's propaganda displays.

00:32:04.000 And most incredible of all, Canada has been training Chinese military troops at our military colleges in Canada and unbelievably, training Chinese soldiers at Canadian Forces Base Pettawawa in how to wage cold war with a Canadian military base in Ontario.

00:32:26.000 Trudeau is literally training our enemies in how to kill us.

00:32:30.000 And I'll prove it to you.

00:32:31.000 You're watching the China files on Rebel News.

00:32:33.000 So what's that URL?

00:32:37.000 See, right here.

00:32:37.000 So if you go to their YouTube or you go to rebels.com slash thechina files.

00:32:43.000 I think it, but if you put it in the talksecret.com.com, you end up there.

00:32:47.000 Type in thechinafiles.com.

00:32:49.000 No, that's not what I said.

00:32:50.000 The China Files.

00:32:51.000 I said the China Files.

00:32:53.000 Yeah.

00:32:54.000 No, you're missing the the, yeah.

00:32:59.000 You're right.

00:33:00.000 Yeah, so thechinafiles.com.

00:33:02.000 That's my question for the URL.

00:33:04.000 Jeez, Louise.

00:33:06.000 We're already past the halfway mark.

00:33:07.000 No mailbag.

00:33:09.000 I failed in my experiment.

00:33:11.000 We're going to wrap it up here with the Bubba and Hanks, our favorite meat suppliers.

00:33:16.000 Next week, we are running a Christmas Wag You special with Bubba and Hanks.

00:33:20.000 By the way, we're not taking a day off, not even Christmas.

00:33:24.000 So you are going to have fresh content every day, including this show, with Gavin Ryan throughout the vacation.

00:33:31.000 If you're Jewish or Muslim and you have no interest in Christmas, you'll have plenty of interest in censored.tv.

00:33:38.000 Though if you're in the latter group, you may get occasionally offended by my rants.

00:33:43.000 Stay tuned.

00:33:44.000 This is Proud Wagyou for Proud People.

00:33:46.000 BubbaandHanks.com.

00:33:48.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:33:49.000 They send me free meat all the time.

00:33:51.000 I fucking love it.

00:33:52.000 I like to sort of spread it out.

00:33:55.000 So I'll just thaw one like once a week and we have our fancy meat night.

00:34:01.000 On the Christmas giveaways today when we take the callers, which you're not going to hear if you're listening to this for free, we have a Bubba and Hanks prize pack, a Beard Vet prize pack, and a Johnny Apple prize pack.

00:34:13.000 Caller number two also gets this triple prize pack deal.

00:34:19.000 So don't forget caller number one and caller number two.

00:34:23.000 I guess, you know what?

00:34:24.000 We should end with at least one segment that we usually do on the show.

00:34:28.000 Let's show the final video segment.

00:34:46.000 You know, you're not supposed to laugh in class.

00:34:48.000 So when someone is funny in class, it's about six times funnier than normal times because it's verboten.

00:34:55.000 And this guy is obviously capitalizing on that and being an awesome and hilarious dude.

00:35:00.000 I don't know what this guy's beef is with the teacher, but I like it.

00:35:04.000 All right, for the next dance.

00:35:08.000 Frisbee, get out of here now.

00:35:18.000 He's cracking up as he plays.

00:35:20.000 No, no.

00:35:21.000 Thank you.

00:35:21.000 Thank you for your time.

00:35:28.000 What does that say?

00:35:29.000 After lunch?

00:35:29.000 Yeah.

00:35:32.000 This is great because the teacher doesn't say.

00:35:33.000 So we're going to take these points that we have and move them two to the right and one down.

00:35:40.000 And then we'll be able to draw our new curve.

00:35:43.000 And along with that, our asymptote, instead of being close to the trumpet.

00:36:02.000 I want to get that album.

00:36:05.000 Giggle Trumpet Man.

00:36:06.000 Giggly Trumpet Covers.

00:36:11.000 Yeah, you see, the Pussy Patrol guys, if they don't become teachers, they get into journalism.

00:36:15.000 And their job is saying, get out of here.

00:36:18.000 No laughs.

00:36:19.000 No fun.

00:36:20.000 I'm short.

00:36:21.000 Get fired.

00:36:22.000 Get in trouble.

00:36:22.000 Be brave.

00:36:23.000 And never stop fighting.

00:36:32.000 I lost my tap.

00:36:37.000 Should we be playing the cramps?

00:36:39.000 Oh, I don't know that one.

00:37:11.000 Go into my notes here and see what I sent you that we couldn't find.

00:37:16.000 Because I don't like that.

00:37:17.000 There's nothing there.

00:37:18.000 Yeah, I know.

00:37:19.000 What a stupid.

00:37:20.000 Like, what the hell?

00:37:21.000 What the hell?

00:37:23.000 So, yeah, we're not taking calls.

00:37:25.000 I still got a lot of shit to say.

00:37:28.000 How do people do half-hour shows?

00:37:30.000 They must just not have anything to say and be kind of bummed.

00:37:33.000 They have to do a show, right, Trump?

00:37:35.000 Right now, I'm too busy making America great again.

00:37:38.000 Sorry.

00:37:39.000 What are we going to do with this?

00:37:41.000 He's a beautiful, beautiful bird.

00:37:42.000 He's not in the White House.

00:37:45.000 In four years, I don't know.

00:37:47.000 A long time to think about it.

00:37:49.000 Okay, so China Gate is huge.

00:37:51.000 I recommend you watch that on your own time.

00:37:53.000 It's just amazing.

00:37:53.000 And I know you don't care about Canada, but you should because they're training people to kill us.

00:37:59.000 And China's hot this week.

00:38:00.000 Did you bang Fang Fang?

00:38:04.000 Some Chinese spy was trying to seduce me, and I said, I'm seducible, and I have been blackmailed before, but you're a three.

00:38:15.000 So can you call President Zi Jing Zing Chao and tell him to send someone who's not hideous?

00:38:24.000 Like, in the movies, the spies are hot.

00:38:27.000 In reality, they look like chipmunks with bulimia.

00:38:32.000 Okay, are we ready for racism?

00:38:36.000 Yes.

00:38:37.000 I'm always ready.

00:38:38.000 You are?

00:38:39.000 Good.

00:38:40.000 I'm looking forward to that.

00:38:42.000 Talk of how racism that was racist, guys.

00:38:50.000 So Anthony Cumia turned me on to this show, The Neighborhood.

00:38:53.000 I don't watch TV.

00:38:55.000 I'm baffled by people who watch TV.

00:38:57.000 And that used to be a snobby thing to say.

00:38:59.000 But now there's just so much other shit going on.

00:39:01.000 And I do DVR stuff, but what I meant by watching TV is: can you imagine like sitting down non-DVR and just watching your show?

00:39:10.000 And then you get up during the commercials?

00:39:13.000 I guess the majority of America still does that.

00:39:15.000 But like, this is a sitcom on ABC.

00:39:18.000 I think.

00:39:18.000 No, that's not it.

00:39:20.000 That's second.

00:39:20.000 Oh, man.

00:39:21.000 2-2 is first.

00:39:22.000 2-2.

00:39:26.000 But yeah, imagine sitting on.

00:39:28.000 So this is a show about a black guy who moves into a middle-class black neighborhood.

00:39:34.000 And guess what?

00:39:35.000 He's a fucking stupid loser.

00:39:37.000 Now, the one thing I almost like about it is that it's a guy who wants to be down with blacks and they make fun of him.

00:39:42.000 But that's not really what you get out of it when you watch it.

00:39:46.000 You see that white people are corny, stupid losers who are pussies.

00:39:53.000 And black people are in control, smart geniuses.

00:39:56.000 All the families are together, too, by the way.

00:39:58.000 There's no out-of-wedlock happening here.

00:40:00.000 But it's just, it should be called the white people are retarded.

00:40:03.000 And by the way, Archie Bunker was made to be hated.

00:40:08.000 This guy, Cedric the Entertainer, hates white people.

00:40:11.000 And it's a lovable trait.

00:40:15.000 This is like a sci-fi show.

00:40:16.000 And at one point, the wife goes, well, isn't he being racist if he hates us because we're white?

00:40:21.000 And the son goes, no, no, that's you're racist.

00:40:24.000 We're racial.

00:40:25.000 Black people can't be racist.

00:40:27.000 Which is, again, what I was saying earlier in the show.

00:40:29.000 That's the kind of shit I said when I was 17.

00:40:32.000 And I don't mind 17-year-olds saying dumb shit like that.

00:40:34.000 They catch up with us.

00:40:36.000 But now it's on a mainstream sitcom.

00:40:39.000 It's like they went into a time machine, went up to me when I was 17 with a notepad and said, what's the stupidest shit you believe?

00:40:46.000 And Max Greenfield, the neighborhood.

00:40:49.000 Mondays this fall.

00:40:50.000 No, thanks.

00:40:51.000 You believe this white motherfucker?

00:40:53.000 My family's been here for decades.

00:40:55.000 I live in a proud black neighborhood, and I intend to keep it that way.

00:41:00.000 Son, our family's been in this neighborhood for generations.

00:41:02.000 Yard and Q Day is about bringing our community together to celebrate what makes this neighborhood special.

00:41:08.000 Which is me.

00:41:13.000 We're your new neighbors, the Johnsons.

00:41:15.000 Dick Hurry, he needs to peek.

00:41:16.000 Sorry.

00:41:16.000 Long drive.

00:41:17.000 Big soda.

00:41:19.000 I'm coming.

00:41:19.000 Hold on.

00:41:21.000 You know, today's going to be more fun than I thought.

00:41:25.000 I'm a retired screech.

00:41:26.000 Oh, it's the new neighbors here.

00:41:28.000 Says their names on the Johnson.

00:41:29.000 How corny is it to want to be friendly to strangers?

00:41:34.000 Sure beats gang rape.

00:41:36.000 Go to like 210.

00:41:41.000 And says it's good for people living diverse communities.

00:41:43.000 We couldn't agree more.

00:41:44.000 Too bad.

00:41:44.000 My dad hates science.

00:41:46.000 Jim, if that's how he feels, we shouldn't go.

00:41:48.000 No.

00:41:49.000 You gotta come or you'll seem racist.

00:41:50.000 Is that the original hardware on this door?

00:41:53.000 What?

00:41:54.000 We are not racist.

00:41:55.000 If anyone's being racist, it sounds like it's your dad.

00:41:58.000 Oh, no.

00:41:59.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:42:00.000 See, black people can't be racist.

00:42:03.000 We can be racial, not cyst.

00:42:07.000 So cyst.

00:42:09.000 He's being serious.

00:42:10.000 Like, the show is being serious right there.

00:42:12.000 They're telling you facts.

00:42:14.000 Let's go make that jerk love us.

00:42:17.000 Anyway, so this is the trailer to introduce the show.

00:42:21.000 And I'm going to start watching this show regularly because it is just brutal white abuse.

00:42:26.000 But check out this propaganda that Mr. Kumiya sent me about cops.

00:42:36.000 Organized one after.

00:42:38.000 Organized one after, you know, Trey got beat up by the Popo.

00:42:46.000 That's a boy, by the way.

00:42:49.000 Oh.

00:42:52.000 Hey.

00:42:52.000 Wait a minute, stuff.

00:42:53.000 I know there's a lot going on.

00:42:55.000 At the beginning of the show, the girl had to go pee-pee.

00:42:59.000 Remember?

00:43:01.000 So is this a trans child they have?

00:43:03.000 Or are they having a male actor play a little girl?

00:43:08.000 Weird.

00:43:09.000 Holy Vaid.

00:43:10.000 Really crammed.

00:43:11.000 Again, if my 16-year-old punked me, if I had a sitcom, it would be about how white people are stupid.

00:43:17.000 And guess what?

00:43:18.000 The kid, it would be trans.

00:43:21.000 But they'd never do that because they don't want to fucking see the truth.

00:43:27.000 What the fuck going on right now?

00:43:29.000 You want to talk about it?

00:43:30.000 I don't understand why the police beat up Trey.

00:43:33.000 Did he do something wrong?

00:43:35.000 No.

00:43:37.000 The police are the ones who did something wrong.

00:43:39.000 Got it.

00:43:41.000 But they're supposed to be the good guys.

00:43:44.000 Yeah.

00:43:45.000 But there are some bad ones, too.

00:43:48.000 So, if there's ever an emergency, should I still call them?

00:43:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:55.000 Of course, sweetie.

00:43:57.000 They would never hurt you.

00:43:58.000 Right, because I'm a kid.

00:44:03.000 Actually, it's because you're white.

00:44:06.000 You see, the police have.

00:44:14.000 You see, the police in this country have a history of treating us better than they treat black people.

00:44:19.000 But that doesn't make any sense.

00:44:22.000 Why would they treat us?

00:44:22.000 That's not true.

00:44:23.000 Sure, we behave ourselves.

00:44:25.000 No.

00:44:26.000 Dad, that's a good question.

00:44:28.000 Well, ask your mom about how much they appear in the crime statistics proportional to their existence in the population.

00:44:34.000 That might have something to do with it.

00:44:36.000 Fat people tend to deal with diabetics doctors more than other people.

00:44:41.000 It doesn't mean that doctors are focused on fat people.

00:44:44.000 But the answer is kind of complicated.

00:44:47.000 Uh-oh.

00:44:47.000 That's what you said when I asked where babies come from.

00:44:50.000 Comically.

00:44:52.000 No, keep going.

00:44:53.000 That's it.

00:44:53.000 Oh, that's it?

00:44:56.000 I mean, that was plenty.

00:44:59.000 You want to see another one?

00:45:01.000 Where is this now?

00:45:02.000 This one is even crazier.

00:45:04.000 3-1.

00:45:05.000 They're brainwashing our children into thinking that black people are superior to us and they've been held down by racist cops and lies.

00:45:14.000 And the way they prove this is with lies.

00:45:19.000 All right, class.

00:45:20.000 Can anyone tell me who invented the light bulb?

00:45:23.000 How is Edison?

00:45:24.000 Tesla and Edison.

00:45:25.000 It's controversial, but Tesla.

00:45:28.000 Edison popularized it.

00:45:29.000 He's the one that made it big, but I think Tesla deserves the credit.

00:45:34.000 This is Cartoon Network.

00:45:35.000 Yeah, this is Steven Universe.

00:45:36.000 It's kind of a cool, weird space show.

00:45:39.000 My kids watch it, or my kids did watch it when they were much younger.

00:45:43.000 Adults probably watch it now.

00:45:45.000 Fat adults with blue and pink hair.

00:45:48.000 Light bulb.

00:45:49.000 Television!

00:45:50.000 That's not entirely true.

00:45:52.000 The light bulb could more rightfully be attributed to Louis Latimer, the black inventor behind the filament.

00:45:57.000 You mean Louis Latimer, the guy who was obsessed with patents?

00:46:02.000 He was almost like a patent savant.

00:46:04.000 So what he would do is he would try to patent everything, hoping something would stick.

00:46:10.000 He threw shit at the patent wall.

00:46:12.000 Now, they already had a patent.

00:46:14.000 I mean, yeah, they had a filament for the light bulb that was popular and cheap.

00:46:20.000 And Thomas Edison was using it.

00:46:22.000 But everyone knew the light bulb was going to be huge.

00:46:24.000 So everyone had a million patent filaments.

00:46:27.000 This guy, Thomas, whatever, what's his name?

00:46:30.000 Latimer.

00:46:31.000 Lewis Latimer.

00:46:32.000 Lewis Latimer.

00:46:32.000 I think he had like 100 or around that.

00:46:37.000 Edison had hundreds.

00:46:39.000 And one of Edison's stuck.

00:46:41.000 Latimer's, we think Latimer's filament was used for like the light bulbs in his factory or where he worked.

00:46:48.000 Like 35, basically.

00:46:51.000 Edison's were millions.

00:46:52.000 But the story became that the light bulb was just a light bulb.

00:46:55.000 This guy got a cheap filament that everyone could use.

00:46:57.000 That's just not true.

00:46:58.000 It's not bending the truth.

00:46:59.000 It's false.

00:47:00.000 Now, this guy was so obsessed with filaments and patents that Edison hired him as a patent expert later on.

00:47:06.000 And he worked for Edison, examining patents, coming up with other patents.

00:47:12.000 That's ironic, too, because that was this guy's skill, is sniffing out valid patents.

00:47:18.000 But he didn't strike gold with the filament that's in the light bulb.

00:47:24.000 That wasn't his.

00:47:25.000 That's just not true.

00:47:27.000 He was a patent nerd.

00:47:29.000 And he never really had a patent takeoff.

00:47:31.000 He just sort of managed Edison's patent department.

00:47:35.000 He was a patent lawyer, I believe, eventually.

00:47:37.000 This is patently false.

00:47:40.000 Vladimir, the black inventor behind the filament inside the bulb.

00:47:44.000 No.

00:47:45.000 His invention made light bulbs affordable and efficient enough for the general public, bringing electric light into households around the world.

00:47:53.000 Well, so now you know.

00:47:56.000 No, I don't.

00:47:57.000 You just lied to my children.

00:47:59.000 Is that it?

00:48:00.000 No, cops also kill black people.

00:48:03.000 He was shot in the head by cops.

00:48:05.000 We're not going to mention why he invented the filament to create a better standard of living for people who had only just been freed from slavery?

00:48:13.000 Are we going to ask?

00:48:14.000 Bullshit.

00:48:16.000 Bullshit.

00:48:19.000 He didn't invent anything, but he was hunting around patents because he wanted to get rich.

00:48:23.000 He was a businessman.

00:48:25.000 You just injected that motive into his brain.

00:48:28.000 Posthumously.

00:48:30.000 Why?

00:48:30.000 Kids are apparently learning about Thomas Edison.

00:48:33.000 Thomas Edison!

00:48:35.000 And not learning about Lewis Latimer.

00:48:38.000 These textbooks are incomplete.

00:48:39.000 There are black Roman wars.

00:48:41.000 There's like I want to get into the psychology of this anti-whiteness because it's I think it's daddy issues.

00:48:50.000 I think Thomas Edison looks like her dad.

00:48:52.000 And when I say her, I mean the writer behind this sketch.

00:48:55.000 And so they say, stop saying my dad's so great.

00:48:58.000 And you know why they have daddy issues?

00:48:59.000 Because dad's not impressed with them.

00:49:01.000 What?

00:49:02.000 I spent $250,000 for you to go to college and you took speech pathology with a minor in animation.

00:49:08.000 And now you write for a children's cartoon?

00:49:10.000 Couldn't you have done that for a little less money than a quarter mil?

00:49:14.000 Oh, fuck you, Thomas Edison.

00:49:16.000 Thomas Edison.

00:49:17.000 I mean, dad.

00:49:19.000 Wait, there were black Roman warriors, black medieval knights, black classical musicians, black cowboys.

00:49:24.000 I looked all of this up.

00:49:27.000 And of course there were black fighter pilots.

00:49:29.000 There were a tiny, tiny amount of black cowboys.

00:49:32.000 People say there was more black cowboys than white cowboys.

00:49:34.000 And as far as black knights go, no.

00:49:38.000 She's talking about the Knights of the Round Table, which was fiction.

00:49:44.000 Ouch.

00:49:45.000 What's that about?

00:49:46.000 I don't know.

00:49:46.000 Check it out.

00:49:48.000 She's talking about a fictional character.

00:49:52.000 And the other time they'll talk about like Spanish knights who are basically knights, sure.

00:49:59.000 They're not really the knights we think of when we think of knights.

00:50:00.000 We're thinking of England.

00:50:03.000 But they're usually talking about Moors and people from what is today, what is it, Liberia?

00:50:11.000 Where are they selling slaves today?

00:50:14.000 Olympia.

00:50:16.000 And those are Arabs.

00:50:18.000 So she's sitting here ranting about the lack of information these kids are getting and how none of it's true.

00:50:25.000 And she's ranting about untrue information.

00:50:28.000 She's lying.

00:50:30.000 Where are they?

00:50:31.000 I worry about you humans because you only live, what, about 100 years?

00:50:35.000 You rely on these stories to know your own history.

00:50:38.000 Thanks to systemic racism, most of your storytellers prioritize white accomplishments, which leaves you with an incomplete picture.

00:50:46.000 Ask yourself as you're learning history.

00:50:48.000 Who's telling the story?

00:50:50.000 Was this modified to make white readers comfortable?

00:50:53.000 Are major details being left out that would credit people of color and center their point of view?

00:50:58.000 Honestly, I should have asked for script approval before agreeing to do this.

00:51:01.000 We'll do some rewrites.

00:51:02.000 I'm sorry.

00:51:03.000 We didn't know.

00:51:04.000 Well, so now you know.

00:51:07.000 I swear.

00:51:10.000 Stupid.

00:51:11.000 Oh, what was that last part?

00:51:13.000 Tell the whole story.

00:51:14.000 Be anti-racist.

00:51:15.000 Crystalgemspeakup.com.

00:51:18.000 Can you believe this shit?

00:51:21.000 That's our children that are fucking having to watch this crap.

00:51:27.000 Now that we're being negative, let's be positive.

00:51:30.000 2-9, a cool black guy in Syracuse, points out something I never thought of, probably because it doesn't apply here.

00:51:36.000 Here in New York, yes, New York pays a lot of New York State's taxes, but New York is also a big drain on taxes with all the welfare and the projects and everything.

00:51:46.000 But Westchester and the surrounding suburbs also pay.

00:51:50.000 So it's really lower New York State pays for upper New York State.

00:51:54.000 And that makes sense.

00:51:55.000 There's more business down here.

00:51:56.000 There's more farms up there.

00:51:58.000 But when you get into specific neighborhoods in New York, like Syracuse, you have all these urban people paying urban taxes to politicians that don't live in the city.

00:52:10.000 So they're subsidizing the suburbs.

00:52:12.000 I had never thought of that.

00:52:13.000 It's not true of New York City, but I believe it is true of Syracuse.

00:52:21.000 Go ahead, black guy.

00:52:22.000 Reloading.

00:52:24.000 He's on CPT.

00:52:27.000 That's rude.

00:52:31.000 Alrighty.

00:52:32.000 Here it comes.

00:52:33.000 I hope this fee doesn't cut out.

00:52:36.000 You know what?

00:52:36.000 What?

00:52:38.000 I think Brave is taking a dunk.

00:52:41.000 I've been having to play some of the videos on Chrome.

00:52:44.000 Really?

00:52:44.000 Have you been...

00:52:45.000 I had to go back to Chrome when I was making my Christmas cards today because the little buttons weren't working.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, they're having some issues.

00:52:53.000 What percent of the police live in the city?

00:52:57.000 5% or so.

00:52:58.000 5%, so 95% don't live in the city.

00:53:00.000 Police.

00:53:02.000 5%, so 95% don't live in the city.

00:53:05.000 So when you say that the vast majority of the percentage goes towards salaries, et cetera, fringe benefits, that means that they take their money on 81, go to outside the city, pay taxes in those communities that have some of the best schools while we have an underfunded school district.

00:53:21.000 $60 million up.

00:53:23.000 So I just want to put into context what we're talking about.

00:53:26.000 Yeah, I liked it better when it was politicians.

00:53:29.000 Because with cops, yes, that's true, but they also have to come in to the city and fight in these bad neighborhoods.

00:53:37.000 You know, I sent a cop that video of the neighborhood where she talks about how the Po-Po beat up Trey.

00:53:47.000 I get indignant about shit like that, but when I show it to cops, they laugh.

00:53:51.000 They don't care.

00:53:52.000 But he goes, yeah, sounds good to me.

00:53:54.000 Please don't let us have to police black neighborhoods anymore.

00:53:56.000 They can handle their own troubles.

00:53:58.000 So it's not quite as salient a point when it's about cops.

00:54:03.000 Really easy to say there, and with all due respect, I like you.

00:54:06.000 But that was a very politician answer.

00:54:09.000 Sorry, which specifically?

00:54:11.000 We will consider and we will look.

00:54:13.000 What we're saying is we're not interested in considering and looking.

00:54:16.000 What we're saying is actually there's $50 million.

00:54:19.000 Commit to $20 million cut.

00:54:21.000 Because we're sending money as the mayor of Syracuse when you don't have a tax base.

00:54:26.000 You're sending money out of Syracuse and not just for 30 years, for the rest of their life.

00:54:32.000 Because their pensions, their health insurance, their family.

00:54:36.000 So we are funding for other people's communities to have the promise of the American dream while we are denying it in our community.

00:54:45.000 That's the context that you as the mayor have to look at this under.

00:54:48.000 So when we talk about renegotiating union contract, what we're saying is you can't play around with maybe we will...

00:54:55.000 No, y'all got to go because you don't provide a service that is beneficial to the community.

00:55:01.000 That is me.

00:55:02.000 I changed my mind about him.

00:55:03.000 He's poo-poo now.

00:55:04.000 He's poo-poo.

00:55:06.000 This is what happens when you defund police.

00:55:09.000 Look at 2-4.

00:55:11.000 Police are not wanted.

00:55:12.000 So this scenario is in Portland is what the Syracuse guy is asking for.

00:55:18.000 He wants a $20 million cut.

00:55:19.000 So a third of a budget cut.

00:55:22.000 And the police, not just defunded, but disrespected and seen as second-class citizens.

00:55:28.000 Let's see how it turns out for Portland.

00:55:35.000 So Mr. Per is trying to protect those cops by taking the kicks.

00:55:57.000 Look at this bullshit.

00:56:01.000 Chasing the cops away.

00:56:03.000 And the cops know if they stop and do anything that they're going to lose their jobs, lose their pensions.

00:56:10.000 So you leave cops no choice but to run.

00:56:14.000 But they finally found the black gun killing.

00:56:21.000 That's the female cops.

00:56:23.000 That's what Syracuse Jude is asking for.

00:56:24.000 I want politicians to have to run backwards out of town, but not cops.

00:56:35.000 That was a chick.

00:56:37.000 Look, the black guy was running up the leaves.

00:56:44.000 Defund the police.

00:56:45.000 Get him out of here.

00:56:55.000 Is that tired popping?

00:56:57.000 Sounded like it.

00:57:04.000 I think the back tire is flat.

00:57:10.000 It's going to be murder on the rim.

00:57:12.000 That's what he said.

00:57:18.000 Just shoot him.

00:57:29.000 Okay, open the door.

00:57:34.000 So Ted Wheeler, who is a joke in America and wanted to defund the police, is a Nazi in Portland because he said, guys, could we maybe dial it back a little bit?

00:57:46.000 Check 2-3.

00:57:48.000 He dared.

00:57:49.000 So he's now giving up on trying to appease these people.

00:57:52.000 I'm authorizing the Portland police to use all lawful means to end the illegal occupation on North Mississippi Avenue and to hold those violating our communities laws accountable.

00:58:00.000 There will be no autonomous zone in Portland.

00:58:03.000 And then he agrees, you know, everyone's racist and stuff, but come on, we need cops and we can't have autonomous zones.

00:58:09.000 And then if you scroll down, it's fun seeing the reactions because no one's sane is left on Twitter.

00:58:14.000 So keep going.

00:58:16.000 They're making fun of him.

00:58:17.000 Keep going.

00:58:20.000 Boop-badoo.

00:58:21.000 No, more.

00:58:22.000 Kevin Sorbo.

00:58:24.000 Oh, shit, it got buried.

00:58:25.000 But there was some liberal dude who said, Chap was actually the safest Seattle has ever been.

00:58:32.000 Yeah, this has since blown up, and now everyone's saying is jumping in.

00:58:35.000 But he goes, Chaz was the safest Seattle's been, and it was probably the safest place in Seattle at the time.

00:58:41.000 And you go, 16-year-old punk rockers run the world.

00:58:48.000 By the way, did you see that when you were scrolling, did you see that Detroit woman?

00:58:53.000 She wants a war.

00:58:55.000 Go back to where you were.

00:58:58.000 Remember we were making fun of her because she had half a coat on?

00:59:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:04.000 Now, I think she saw a video where some black guy was saying, if proud boys want to start a war, they're going to have to deal with me.

00:59:11.000 And he's like an ex-military guy.

00:59:14.000 But so she, I think, just took that as a fact.

00:59:18.000 Some YouTube video I can't find.

00:59:19.000 I had like 62 views.

00:59:22.000 But I think she believes that a bunch of racists are going to go through the streets trying to kill black people now because Biden won.

00:59:32.000 So she has a message to us, which is, watch the fuck out.

00:59:38.000 You're dead.

00:59:41.000 It's 2.5.

00:59:44.000 I thought it'd be easier to find as you just passed it, but I guess we'll go to the notes.

00:59:49.000 She's a nut.

00:59:49.000 I think she might be our new favorite politician.

00:59:53.000 So this is just a warning to you Trumpers.

00:59:58.000 Be careful.

01:00:00.000 Walk lightly.

01:00:04.000 We ain't playing with you.

01:00:06.000 Enough of the shenanigans.

01:00:08.000 What is she wearing?

01:00:09.000 Judges' role?

01:00:11.000 Enough.

01:00:11.000 It's enough.

01:00:14.000 And for those of you who are soldiers, you know how to do it.

01:00:21.000 Do it right.

01:00:22.000 Be in order.

01:00:25.000 Make them pay.

01:00:27.000 So this is just a warning.

01:00:28.000 So it sounds like she's saying, because the video I saw, the black guy was like, I've been training in Afghanistan, and he wears a shirt that says Army.

01:00:36.000 And he goes, we aren't trained to throw bottles at people.

01:00:39.000 We're trained to shoot motherfuckers right between the eyes.

01:00:42.000 And so she's saying, hey, black vets, if shit goes down, start killing people.

01:00:48.000 I believe that's what she's getting at.

01:00:51.000 You're officially weird, Cynthia.

01:00:55.000 You are seriously weird.

01:00:57.000 And again, that's the theme of this show.

01:01:00.000 The radical 16-year-old punk.

01:01:02.000 We're inside his brain.

01:01:03.000 It's mainstream.

01:01:04.000 You know, the SPLC, who everyone quotes, and says, so they think this is a hate group.

01:01:10.000 It must be.

01:01:11.000 Look who runs their union.

01:01:12.000 Look at 2-7.

01:01:14.000 This is their union rep. What do you think of when you think of a union rep?

01:01:17.000 You think of a guy with maybe like a no tie.

01:01:20.000 He's too cool for that.

01:01:21.000 He'll have like a white dress shirt and a corduroy blazer maybe.

01:01:24.000 And he's there for the unions.

01:01:26.000 No, it's fucking Fidel Castro anarchist.

01:01:30.000 Fidel Anarcho.

01:01:31.000 Look at him.

01:01:34.000 That is the guy who runs the SPLC's union.

01:01:42.000 It's a fucking joke.

01:01:46.000 Dollar Store Castro.

01:01:48.000 Yeah.

01:01:49.000 He loves the works of Mark Shea, George Jackson, Murder, and is a program associate with the SPLC.

01:01:56.000 Nice work.

01:01:57.000 But yeah, let's keep quoting them.

01:01:59.000 He likes Kurt Vonnegut.

01:02:01.000 Oh, good.

01:02:03.000 Andres Thompson.

01:02:06.000 All right.

01:02:06.000 I think I have one more thing.

01:02:08.000 Oh, no, I have.

01:02:09.000 Yeah.

01:02:11.000 Black Hitler.

01:02:12.000 Adolf Hitler won.

01:02:14.000 This is kind of an old story, but I'm meaning to get to it for a while.

01:02:18.000 Adolf Hitler wins election in Namibia.

01:02:21.000 Namibia.

01:02:22.000 Politician named after Nazi leader sweeps to victory, but promises, I'm not striving for world domination.

01:02:27.000 Adolf Hitler Junona was selected with 85% of the vote in a regional poll with the poo-poo.

01:02:34.000 He said his father had named him Hitler without realizing what their name meant.

01:02:39.000 I actually believe that.

01:02:44.000 Former German colony in Africa still has a small German-speaking population.

01:02:50.000 There he is.

01:02:51.000 Adolf Hitler Unona.

01:02:54.000 Colorized and inverted.

01:03:01.000 Adolf Hitler.

01:03:02.000 The funny part is that that's not a career killer in Namibia.

01:03:08.000 Does he fine?

01:03:12.000 I don't get colonization.

01:03:14.000 Aren't you hot?

01:03:15.000 Like you go from Liverpool to the Congo.

01:03:18.000 I couldn't imagine something I'd want to do less than cook all day in the African sun pre.

01:03:26.000 Wait, wait, what are those skulls?

01:03:29.000 Members of the Namibian delegation in Berlin said over a set of skulls of Namibian tribespeople who were victims of German colonial atrocities in the early 20th century.

01:03:37.000 Oh, they're very sensitive about death.

01:03:39.000 Germany must pay.

01:03:41.000 All right, last story of the day.

01:03:45.000 Burger King is woke.

01:03:48.000 Burger King is Mad woke.

01:03:50.000 And 33, they've changed their name temporarily, of course, to Burger Queen.

01:03:58.000 Why?

01:04:00.000 Because an incredibly obscure soccer team in Stevenage, where I lived as a little boy, near Luton, near Tommy Robinson there, near Hitchen in England, north of London, they have a female soccer player or something.

01:04:18.000 And everyone's so excited about it that they got to change the name of the fucking franchise.

01:04:30.000 Fuck was that?

01:04:37.000 That's why people are apathetic because they're a terrible people.

01:04:49.000 I'm sure they could use all this pressure.

01:04:59.000 Shouldn't Antifa see that their belief system is mainstream, it's capitalist, it's corporate?

01:05:09.000 The trans shit is corporate.

01:05:11.000 BLM is corporate.

01:05:12.000 You are up there with Nike and everyone else.

01:05:16.000 All right.

01:05:18.000 What do we do now?

01:05:18.000 How do we end this?

01:05:20.000 I guess we go to calls.

01:05:22.000 We need a segue to go to calls.

01:05:24.000 Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

01:05:26.000 Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

01:05:28.000 Like a cone and a bunch of people.

01:05:31.000 Shall I maybe look at a letter while you get set up?

01:05:35.000 Calls, calls, calls.

01:05:36.000 It'll probably be 30 seconds.

01:05:38.000 Okay, cool.

01:05:39.000 I'm going to get the newspaper so I can focus on yourself for a second.

01:05:44.000 We can play the COVID update.

01:05:46.000 Bumper.

01:05:48.000 Why?

01:05:48.000 I don't know.

01:05:50.000 We're not doing a COVID update.

01:05:52.000 Okay, here I am.

01:05:53.000 Rocky like a hurricane.

01:05:56.000 Okay, so what I do here is I go to our calling system and I try to establish comms so that way the viewers...

01:06:05.000 No, it feels better.

01:06:06.000 Yeah.

01:06:07.000 I told you.

01:06:08.000 You made a huge pot of coffee and you had this super strong coffee.

01:06:13.000 You went to the bath.

01:06:14.000 You ran to the bathroom and shat your guts out three times and then you had your head on your desk because your stomach was in pain.

01:06:19.000 That's correct.

01:06:20.000 Like, learn how to work your body, dude.

01:06:23.000 Work your body.

01:06:25.000 That's the kind of shit that 19-year-olds do.

01:06:28.000 This is juvenile day.

01:06:30.000 The pizza was very good.

01:06:34.000 Was it a sponsor of ours?

01:06:37.000 No, but a friend, I don't know how much it...

01:06:41.000 Our ad guy.

01:06:43.000 Yeah.

01:06:44.000 He helped us.

01:06:45.000 And he got us pizzas.

01:06:46.000 I'm going to draw people in the newspaper.

01:06:47.000 I got Fang Fang, the five.

01:06:50.000 I'm going to have a pizza.

01:06:52.000 And I got...

01:06:54.000 Also, I think our boy who got arrested, he's in the letters page.

01:06:57.000 Yeah.

01:06:58.000 Danny Presty.

01:06:59.000 So what it comes down to with Presty is, was it clear that they were cops?

01:07:03.000 If it wasn't clear, they're cops, he's off scot-free.

01:07:06.000 If it was, that's a felony.

01:07:10.000 We got scooter on the line.

01:07:12.000 Scooter.

01:07:12.000 Caller one.

01:07:13.000 Scooter.

01:07:15.000 Hey, number one.

01:07:16.000 You're number one first.

01:07:19.000 So I get the prize, right?

01:07:21.000 Yep.

01:07:23.000 I had a...

01:07:24.000 You say, Gavin, you were saying yesterday that people steal your ideas.

01:07:32.000 Yeah.

01:07:32.000 Well, I want to take one of your great ideas and amplify it a little bit.

01:07:37.000 I love your War Movie Veteran idea.

01:07:40.000 That is so cool.

01:07:42.000 So what I'm thinking is that you set up a thing where you hand out War Movie Veteran medals.

01:07:49.000 You know, Medal of Honor, accommodation medal, purple heart.

01:07:54.000 That's a cool idea.

01:07:55.000 Can you lower the show?

01:07:56.000 Can you just mute the show's playing in the background?

01:08:01.000 Yeah, I could have had it muted.

01:08:03.000 Perfect.

01:08:04.000 Sorry about that.

01:08:04.000 All right.

01:08:06.000 Yes.

01:08:07.000 So that's a good idea.

01:08:12.000 I'll give it a whirl.

01:08:13.000 Thanks for calling.

01:08:14.000 My fear, though, with that whole thing is you got to watch the line because you don't want to disrespect them.

01:08:22.000 Like with Terry Shepard, I said, my problem with Pearl Harbor, every time they show the guys that are still alive, none of them are hot.

01:08:29.000 And he goes, I can't laugh at that.

01:08:32.000 That's not allowed.

01:08:36.000 But yeah, as long as we did it respectfully and the satire was clear, then we should do that.

01:08:41.000 Like you would get a Purple Heart for watching the beginning of Save It Private Ryan stoned.

01:08:46.000 Right.

01:08:48.000 That one you guys recommended to me was fucking awesome.

01:08:51.000 Recon?

01:08:52.000 Thank you for that.

01:08:53.000 Nice.

01:08:54.000 Curtis is calling about a lifetime movie, speaking about movies.

01:08:57.000 Did you give that guy?

01:08:57.000 You get that guy's number?

01:08:58.000 Oh, yes.

01:08:59.000 Okay.

01:08:59.000 And this is another winner.

01:09:00.000 Caller 2.

01:09:01.000 You win three super PACs.

01:09:04.000 And they're not political.

01:09:08.000 Awesome.

01:09:10.000 Right on.

01:09:12.000 So what do you got to say?

01:09:13.000 All right.

01:09:14.000 So this KFC thing wasn't the first satirical movie that Lifetime put out.

01:09:19.000 They did another one a couple of years ago that was so unfunny that it was kind of funny.

01:09:23.000 It was called A Deadly Adoption.

01:09:26.000 And it had Kristen Wig and Will Ferrell.

01:09:29.000 So I thought you guys should probably check that out because it's a pretty cool train wreck to see.

01:09:34.000 Okay.

01:09:35.000 Thanks for calling.

01:09:35.000 We'll check it out right now.

01:09:36.000 Sounds like we're sending our prize packs to Canada.

01:09:39.000 Yeah, we will definitely check that out.

01:09:42.000 I remember when I lived in Canada and people would say, oh yeah, that's what it's all about.

01:09:46.000 I'd go, I don't understand what the fuck you're talking about.

01:09:49.000 I don't say a boot, I say about.

01:09:51.000 And now that I've lived here for 20 years, I'm like, okay, that's what it's all about.

01:10:00.000 So now, I hate we have to see your logos in the trailer.

01:10:03.000 Oh, this is the whole damn film.

01:10:05.000 Oh, it's the whole movie.

01:10:10.000 Oh, finally.

01:10:12.000 Where you been?

01:10:13.000 I got hung up.

01:10:16.000 There you go.

01:10:17.000 Oh, okay.

01:10:22.000 Okay, boring.

01:10:22.000 Jump in the middle.

01:10:23.000 And no one ever helped you pitch.

01:10:24.000 And then I come along and I help you out.

01:10:27.000 And what?

01:10:27.000 You're going to take the other guy's side?

01:10:31.000 This is how you treat your friends?

01:10:34.000 Huh?

01:10:37.000 Maybe this isn't it.

01:10:38.000 Because I don't see no fair.

01:10:40.000 Oh, deadly adoption.

01:10:41.000 What did I put in?

01:10:45.000 Take the children and yourself.

01:10:48.000 Is that a baby there?

01:10:50.000 Yeah, do you want to feel?

01:10:52.000 No more heavy lifting for you.

01:10:58.000 You guys are so nice.

01:11:00.000 Believe in me.

01:11:02.000 I will.

01:11:04.000 I am happy with this.

01:11:06.000 And you're going to have a perfect life too one day, I promise.

01:11:10.000 I hope it's in a town like this with a family like yours.

01:11:17.000 Lifetime makes fun of itself.

01:11:20.000 Jump in the middle here.

01:11:22.000 What is the joke?

01:11:27.000 You don't need to.

01:11:32.000 Are we laughing at you or are we laughing with you?

01:11:36.000 You know what's funny is I think the satire hits the normal audience of Lifetime just fine because they're used to corny acting.

01:11:45.000 But it's funny to take something so seriously and try to hit something so on the head.

01:11:52.000 Like they're hitting this corny genre so on the head that it functions as a comedy and as a serious life.

01:12:00.000 Yeah, it's almost like Christians doing a Christian rock parody.

01:12:05.000 And everyone laughing.

01:12:06.000 Ha ha ha.

01:12:07.000 That's so corny.

01:12:08.000 Jesus, yeah.

01:12:11.000 I don't know.

01:12:12.000 All right, next caller.

01:12:14.000 McAdoo.

01:12:17.000 McAdoo?

01:12:20.000 Wackadoo, Wackadoo, Wackado, Wackadou.

01:12:22.000 Retarded Bobby Lee, bro.

01:12:23.000 It's MAGA Jew.

01:12:25.000 Alright, well, my automatic voice recognition call screener doesn't know that.

01:12:31.000 Yeah, he's just reading what the computer transcribes.

01:12:34.000 Yeah, MADO.

01:12:36.000 Oh.

01:12:37.000 Oh, okay.

01:12:38.000 I see.

01:12:38.000 Alright.

01:12:39.000 My fault.

01:12:40.000 Saudi body.

01:12:41.000 It's okay, buddy.

01:12:42.000 Yeah, uh.

01:12:45.000 Awesome.

01:12:46.000 So, Gab, you got dumped by a lot of your really good friends, as you mentioned before.

01:12:51.000 And I'm all about the West of the Best.

01:12:54.000 But I think the one thing that, like, America kind of, like, doesn't get is, like, standing by your friends and, like, loyalty.

01:13:01.000 And I have, like, a lot of like Middle Eastern Arab friends.

01:13:06.000 And loyalty is, like, the number one thing there.

01:13:09.000 Like, if you betray a friend, like, or anything like that, you're persona non grata.

01:13:15.000 You're a fucking asshole, and then, like, everyone hates you.

01:13:18.000 So I think it's one thing, like, as shitty as Middle Eastern culture is, uh, it's something maybe we can take and kind of, like, learn about, like, loyalty.

01:13:31.000 I don't know what you think about that.

01:13:32.000 No, I agree with you, but you got to understand that we used to have those, those values, too, up until very recently.

01:13:39.000 And it wasn't just among friends, it was like corporate too.

01:13:42.000 Like, if someone got a call and they said, one of your employees is racist or said a bad thing, the guy would tell them to fuck off and hang up the phone, as opposed to like calling HR in and having a big firing squad about how horrible and sinful that person was.

01:14:00.000 So we're kind of new to this lack of loyalty and stuff.

01:14:06.000 And I think it's feminism.

01:14:07.000 I think women have gotten involved and they're much more agreeable even when you're agreeing with something bad.

01:14:14.000 So they're like, I love America.

01:14:15.000 Really?

01:14:16.000 America sucks?

01:14:16.000 Yes, it does.

01:14:17.000 America sucks.

01:14:18.000 And this person's your friend.

01:14:20.000 No, they're not.

01:14:20.000 They're evil.

01:14:21.000 I fucking hate them.

01:14:23.000 It's the feminization of American culture.

01:14:28.000 I think that makes sense because basically women don't have a place in the workplace in the Middle East.

01:14:34.000 So actually, that theory kind of fits a little bit.

01:14:36.000 Yeah, they're trying to find their way, and they don't belong in a lot of these areas that they've been thrust into.

01:14:42.000 And so they get a job doing a social media account, and they end up just becoming tattletales, little bitchy Terrans.

01:14:49.000 Anyway, thanks for calling, dude.

01:14:52.000 We always got to keep time in mind when we talk about these things.

01:14:57.000 Like, you know, America's racist.

01:14:59.000 Like, who is this?

01:15:00.000 Chuck D or someone was saying.

01:15:01.000 You know, we used to hang blacks not so long ago, and there'd be people dancing underneath the bodies that were hanging.

01:15:07.000 It was really fucking long ago, okay?

01:15:11.000 It doesn't reflect who we are today.

01:15:15.000 So we have to take time and culture into context.

01:15:19.000 I mean, we didn't usually get, women were not cunts until very recently.

01:15:23.000 They used to be nice ladies, and they didn't hate boys.

01:15:26.000 Like, kindergarten teachers used to go, oh, boys will be boys.

01:15:32.000 And as the boys in the schoolyard run around, the kindergarten teacher would be supportive.

01:15:37.000 But now it's like, your son was running around.

01:15:40.000 He was very hard to wrangle.

01:15:43.000 And so we think he should go on Ridlin or some sort of drug in order to keep him under control.

01:15:48.000 Or I'm going to write him up.

01:15:50.000 So take him to psychiatrist and get him drugged because I don't like the way this boy's running around.

01:15:55.000 In other words, I don't like boys.

01:15:58.000 We got Jonathan.

01:16:01.000 Jonathan.

01:16:02.000 Brian and Gavin, have it gone.

01:16:03.000 Gonna make it quick.

01:16:04.000 I got a would you rather?

01:16:06.000 This one's for Ryan because he's not married.

01:16:09.000 It's for people who aren't married or who could pretend they never were.

01:16:13.000 All right, Ryan, you're going to be stranded on the desert island in castaway.

01:16:18.000 You are going to have one other person with you.

01:16:21.000 Would you rather that person be a guy who is scientifically formulated to be your best friend?

01:16:28.000 You know, everything about him is perfect, and he's pretty good at survival.

01:16:32.000 So you'll be living in a tree house with monkey butlers, drinking coconuts and eating chewy chew cocoa beans.

01:16:40.000 Cool.

01:16:40.000 Or a girl who's a six out of 10.

01:16:43.000 Right.

01:16:44.000 And I know that's our bread and butter on this show.

01:16:46.000 She's annoying 60% of the time.

01:16:50.000 And you will have to be there for 10 years minimum, but maybe longer.

01:16:59.000 You don't know.

01:16:59.000 Is civilization resting on us procreating or no?

01:17:04.000 No.

01:17:05.000 No, no, you're just, it's like today.

01:17:08.000 Everything else is going on.

01:17:09.000 So 10 years, not getting laid, and I would be 40.

01:17:12.000 So I wouldn't have a chance to really have kids at a good age.

01:17:19.000 10 years minimum.

01:17:21.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 I think the female, because you need the duality there, because, you know, there's going to be some issues.

01:17:26.000 There are going to be some bumping heads.

01:17:28.000 You know, somebody's got to be the king of the island, and it's going to get up.

01:17:31.000 You're going to be the king of the fag zone.

01:17:33.000 Probably end up 69ing your way to banana heaven.

01:17:36.000 I would not.

01:17:37.000 Probably do it in a banana hammock.

01:17:39.000 I would not.

01:17:40.000 Smoking bananas.

01:17:41.000 There's no bananas.

01:17:43.000 I would pick the female.

01:17:45.000 And that'd be...

01:17:46.000 All right.

01:17:46.000 Good analysis.

01:17:47.000 Yeah.

01:17:48.000 Thanks, guys.

01:17:48.000 Thanks, buddy.

01:17:49.000 That was a good one.

01:17:50.000 It's a good challenge, too, when you're being.

01:17:52.000 Well, you also are worried about dying.

01:17:54.000 Right.

01:17:55.000 Like, you need a buddy there to help you build a lean to and stuff.

01:17:58.000 See, that's going to die with the chick.

01:18:00.000 I've seen a lot of Naked and Afraids where the woman is just a huge burden to the team.

01:18:05.000 Right, right.

01:18:06.000 That's true.

01:18:06.000 That is true.

01:18:09.000 But, yeah.

01:18:11.000 It's definitely not easy.

01:18:12.000 But I think the duality of man-woman is kind of a good idea.

01:18:15.000 Well, yeah, that's an interesting point to watch in your life.

01:18:19.000 Farms, like a turkey farm, will have a male turkey, whatever that's called.

01:18:24.000 They don't need him to procreate.

01:18:26.000 They've already done all their procreating.

01:18:27.000 They're going to be killed for Thanksgiving next year.

01:18:30.000 But it just helps.

01:18:31.000 The women start attacking each other if there isn't at least one male present.

01:18:35.000 And it's the same with cows.

01:18:37.000 They'll have a bull there even when he's not a stud to procreate.

01:18:43.000 Same thing with guppies, too.

01:18:44.000 If you don't have a balance of females and males, they'll all freak out and eat each other.

01:18:47.000 Really?

01:18:48.000 Oh, yeah.

01:18:49.000 Huh.

01:18:49.000 Had to get some females in there so they get less stressed.

01:18:52.000 Lewis.

01:18:56.000 Hey, what's up, gang?

01:18:57.000 Yo, gang gang.

01:18:59.000 Gucci gang.

01:19:01.000 Hey, sorry I couldn't call in last week, guys.

01:19:04.000 I was a bit busy.

01:19:05.000 Okay.

01:19:06.000 Okay.

01:19:07.000 We forgive you.

01:19:10.000 All right.

01:19:10.000 Hey, I have kind of a suggestion here.

01:19:13.000 I've been calling about the mantis shrimp because I'm concerned about your mantis shrimp.

01:19:20.000 But maybe we should have a contest to name this thing, you know?

01:19:24.000 Like, maybe we should throw in things.

01:19:26.000 I like the name Doc, as in Doc Holiday, but he was a good Republican and a sharp shooter.

01:19:33.000 I think it's adequate.

01:19:34.000 But I'd like to bar in New York, which is probably shut down now.

01:19:39.000 Let me ask you, are you concerned about the ethics of the shrimp and it being treated well and being fed and being kept in a good, sane, ethical environment?

01:19:52.000 No, I think I think a good enough environment for it.

01:19:56.000 I mean, you could always do some really cool things with a tank.

01:19:59.000 I don't know.

01:20:00.000 Maybe it comes out of a saloon, like it has a couple of saloon doors or something.

01:20:04.000 Yes, that's cool.

01:20:06.000 But do you really care?

01:20:07.000 Like, what if we let it starve to death?

01:20:09.000 Who gives a shit?

01:20:10.000 It's a fucking sea insect.

01:20:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:20:14.000 I mean, yeah.

01:20:14.000 I mean, it's a giant cockroach.

01:20:16.000 But, I mean, isn't the one going to be in your show going to be a little more exceptional than that?

01:20:21.000 I mean.

01:20:22.000 Yeah, okay.

01:20:23.000 I just thought you were one of these like insect rights guy.

01:20:26.000 Oh, no.

01:20:27.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:20:28.000 I just, I want to make sure that this thing has a cool name because, you know, you guys are going to be asking me questions.

01:20:32.000 And Sally is going to be part of the show.

01:20:35.000 I mean, Sally.

01:20:39.000 What?

01:20:39.000 What about Sally?

01:20:42.000 Sally, that's cool.

01:20:44.000 I like that.

01:20:45.000 What about Michael?

01:20:46.000 What about Kevin?

01:20:47.000 What about the governor?

01:20:50.000 What about General Patton?

01:20:52.000 Lipships?

01:20:54.000 Yeah, I think you guys should name it after a really cool Republican.

01:20:59.000 What if it's Jewish?

01:21:00.000 And then anytime somebody's like, isn't that kind of anti-Semitic?

01:21:03.000 You'd be like, dude, Armanta Strip is Jewish.

01:21:07.000 Some of my best friends.

01:21:10.000 A clever thing like that.

01:21:11.000 Yeah.

01:21:12.000 I only just got the fucking basic existing conditions sketch from the original owners today.

01:21:19.000 So it's been a month of trying to get just to step one with these plans.

01:21:23.000 It's been a fucking nightmare, and I don't know who to blame.

01:21:26.000 But yeah, we're on it.

01:21:29.000 It's going to be sick, dude.

01:21:30.000 I think it's going to be a cool addition to your team.

01:21:35.000 I sent Fag Zone Master a t-shirt a while back.

01:21:41.000 I did a Lawn Dale, you know, the boxing thing?

01:21:44.000 Yeah.

01:21:45.000 I did a t-shirt with, instead of the lion, it was the shrimp, and then it said free speech TV.

01:21:51.000 This was way back when.

01:21:52.000 I don't know if you guys ever got the email, but it was just a drawing?

01:21:57.000 Yeah, I think, remember we showed a bunch?

01:21:59.000 I think we showed a bunch.

01:22:01.000 Oh, bye.

01:22:03.000 Yeah, I believe we went through a bunch of them because I had a whole shrimp cornucopia up.

01:22:10.000 That guy was on too long.

01:22:11.000 Nice guy, though.

01:22:12.000 Great guy.

01:22:13.000 Not a great guy.

01:22:15.000 He was okay.

01:22:16.000 Pretty good guy.

01:22:17.000 Daryl, calling about Jake Paul.

01:22:21.000 The racist who knocks out black man.

01:22:25.000 Indian joker buddy.

01:22:28.000 What did you say, buddy?

01:22:29.000 I sent you guys an email not long ago on Jake Paul.

01:22:33.000 He was on an ESPN show, and they were drooling him about being racist for knocking out Nate Robinson.

01:22:41.000 Wasn't that a Vice show?

01:22:44.000 What was that?

01:22:45.000 It was a Vice show.

01:22:48.000 I'll tell you why.

01:22:49.000 And this is our question of the week.

01:22:51.000 Yeah, that was Vice.

01:22:54.000 Yep.

01:22:55.000 And the Nate Robinson.

01:22:56.000 So I'm going to ask you.

01:22:57.000 Thanks for calling.

01:22:57.000 I already covered this.

01:22:58.000 Right here.

01:22:59.000 I don't think we showed it on the show.

01:23:01.000 You don't think we showed it on the show?

01:23:02.000 No, I think I showed it to you after the show.

01:23:04.000 Yeah, yeah, that's right.

01:23:06.000 Why?

01:23:07.000 I'll tell you why.

01:23:08.000 And this is our question of the week.

01:23:09.000 We saw what happened to Nate Robinson.

01:23:11.000 So I'm going to ask Jake Paul right here in front of America.

01:23:16.000 Jake, considering where we are right now in our racial conversation in America, was what you did to Nate Robinson racist?

01:23:24.000 That is the question of the week.

01:23:26.000 Ben.

01:23:27.000 Nah, stop playing with me.

01:23:29.000 Come on.

01:23:30.000 Stop playing with me.

01:23:31.000 Listen, Jake, it's a sensitive time right now.

01:23:33.000 We just had to witness a white man just knock a black man smooth out in front of all of America.

01:23:39.000 So that's why I asked that.

01:23:40.000 But just tell us about that moment real quick because it looked like Nate was asleep before he ever even hit the canvas.

01:23:48.000 Yeah, I mean, this is what we train for.

01:23:49.000 You know, at the end of the day, boxing is a sport.

01:23:52.000 And, you know, you train to win.

01:23:54.000 Nate is the one who called me out originally.

01:23:58.000 Fascinating.

01:23:59.000 I think he is frozen.

01:24:00.000 Hey, can you hear me now?

01:24:02.000 Yeah, I can hear you guys now.

01:24:03.000 Sorry.

01:24:03.000 My Wi-Fi is unstable like my relationship.

01:24:09.000 Okay, so what?

01:24:09.000 Yeah, we're just watching.

01:24:10.000 No, we're just watching.

01:24:11.000 We're just watching shitty TV.

01:24:14.000 It's funny how Vice is getting so woke and going so broke.

01:24:18.000 Remember the other black guys they used to have that were pretty funny?

01:24:21.000 That have funny names?

01:24:23.000 I think they're with Showtime Now or something?

01:24:25.000 Now you have those down there.

01:24:26.000 And you know why they asked that question, right?

01:24:28.000 Because they don't usually watch Boxing, and they were watching it going, Get the white guy, get the white guy, get the white guy.

01:24:35.000 And then, when they saw the black guy lose, they were crushed because they were watching that boxing match from a racial perspective.

01:24:42.000 I guarantee it.

01:24:44.000 All right, next caller, let's get going.

01:24:47.000 All right, let's be one point and then we're out.

01:24:50.000 Joseph, you want to learn?

01:24:53.000 Hello, buddy.

01:24:54.000 What's happening, off-duty buddy?

01:24:58.000 Super quick background, since I believe you're curious about your audience demo.

01:25:04.000 Been with you since How to Fight a Baby.

01:25:06.000 It took four years, but I'm a first degree in San Diego.

01:25:10.000 Oh, cool.

01:25:11.000 31 years old.

01:25:12.000 Notre Dame law grad, crushing at commercial real estate.

01:25:16.000 Parents are Lebanese immigrants.

01:25:19.000 Nice.

01:25:19.000 We built Marnite Catholic Church here for the community.

01:25:24.000 It's doing fucking great.

01:25:26.000 Anyway, I've observed a phenomenon in my affluent neighborhood of Del Mar, which I presume is similar to yours based on what you talk about.

01:25:35.000 In the last six months, I've personally observed about, I don't know, 15% of these gorgeous houses putting up Black Lives Matter signs on their lawn.

01:25:46.000 And the thing I'm curious about is what needs to happen to trigger the decision to take that sign down?

01:25:54.000 Like, you know, it's a presidential election.

01:25:56.000 You put up Trump, you put up Bindit, Biden, the election's over, you take it down.

01:26:01.000 But when do you take down a Black Lives Matter sign?

01:26:04.000 Is it up there forever?

01:26:05.000 What's the end game?

01:26:06.000 What is your take?

01:26:08.000 Well, we had a neighbor who had it up, and she had a bunch up.

01:26:12.000 At one point, she said, it said, Our lives matter vertically, and then the O and all the letters included like Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, and they moved the names around.

01:26:26.000 So if you lit up the middle letters, it would say, Our lives matter.

01:26:30.000 This woman is the whitest, richest person that has ever lived.

01:26:36.000 And our lives, like, like, it's so confusing, but she took hers down when Thanksgiving came along and it was time to put up the inflatable turkey outside.

01:26:47.000 And then she had hallelujah up there when Biden won.

01:26:51.000 And now I think it's Christmas decorations.

01:26:53.000 So they just go through the various cycles.

01:26:56.000 I mean, it's fashion, right?

01:26:58.000 So when that thing goes out of fashion, like the Rubik's Cube or the Chia Pet, they forget about it.

01:27:04.000 And the funny part is when a school is rezoned or something genuinely black happens and they all switch their colors instantly and become fucking psychotic.

01:27:19.000 But you'd hope they would switch when they read something about how Black Lives Matter is actually a Marxist organization that's about dismantling the nuclear family or some fact.

01:27:30.000 Like, wouldn't it be cool if it was a fact that made them change their ways?

01:27:35.000 But no.

01:27:36.000 It never is.

01:27:39.000 Thanks.

01:27:40.000 Finally, retell your joke about the German guy who said it was like the Statue of Liberty plus 400 meters.

01:27:46.000 Okay.

01:27:46.000 You're not supposed to get two in, but I like Lebs because I'm from Ottawa where there's 80,000 Lebanese.

01:27:52.000 Lebanon used to be Christian, and then the Muslims got their population up.

01:27:56.000 And what happens when that happens?

01:27:57.000 Whoosh, everyone else has to leave.

01:28:00.000 Your country becomes Muslim, and it sucks now.

01:28:03.000 Lebanon sucks, donkey dicks.

01:28:07.000 Okay, I will retell that story very briefly.

01:28:10.000 I was doing a photo, taking a picture with Joy Villa.

01:28:13.000 She doesn't like me anymore, I don't think.

01:28:15.000 Or she was probably told to stay away from me.

01:28:17.000 But I was doing my trick from Bob Newhart, from Tim Conway, where you kneel in your shoes, you pull your pants up to your knees, then you kneel in your shoes, and you look like a funny midget, and then I'll pose with Joy.

01:28:29.000 So I look like a funny midget, and she's quite tall.

01:28:32.000 And so we were laughing.

01:28:33.000 I said, it'd be funny if someone saw that and they went, wow, I didn't know Joy was so tall.

01:28:38.000 Jesus Christ, Gavin's like 5'10.

01:28:40.000 She's really big.

01:28:42.000 And, you know, very simple comedy, reversing the interpretation.

01:28:46.000 And she had this weird Dutch-German boyfriend who, by the way, they've since become divorced.

01:28:54.000 Ouch.

01:28:55.000 But he was like, yes, they'll be looking at her and they'll say, she is as tall as the Statue of Liberty plus 200 meters.

01:29:07.000 And we talked about it for two days.

01:29:09.000 Because the Statue of Liberty is sufficient exaggeration.

01:29:13.000 We're done now.

01:29:14.000 It's a very, very tall structure, and Joyville is not even close to that tall.

01:29:18.000 Good.

01:29:19.000 Why would you add 200 meters to your joke?

01:29:24.000 Yes, they're going to be stuck there drinking a million beers plus four kegs of beer also.

01:29:32.000 We know why they're divorced.

01:29:34.000 This drawing is okay.

01:29:36.000 It's of Danny Presti, who was just arrested.

01:29:50.000 It's terrible.

01:29:52.000 It's this, my dear.

01:29:54.000 Yeah.

01:29:55.000 The eyes have to disappear.

01:29:58.000 Yeah, that's a good one.

01:29:59.000 Can we make this a hoodie?

01:30:00.000 Like, this is amazing.

01:30:02.000 Do you want to wear that as a shirt?

01:30:04.000 Yeah, yes.

01:30:05.000 I'll get that tattooed.

01:30:09.000 I guess I'll write on this to make it look like this.

01:30:11.000 That was from John Selwyn.

01:30:13.000 Fantastic.

01:30:14.000 Check him out on the Instagrams.

01:30:24.000 That's good.

01:30:26.000 You gotta have your eyebrows down.

01:30:29.000 That last bit was good.

01:30:34.000 That's goofy.

01:30:35.000 He's got a wandering eye.

01:30:36.000 That's a talent.

01:30:37.000 Yeah, that's pretty good.

01:30:39.000 All right, now we got, I believe, Justin on the left.

01:30:42.000 No, James.

01:30:44.000 James Mayor of the Red.

01:30:51.000 Hold on one second.

01:30:53.000 Just wanted to first off give Brian a shout out.

01:30:57.000 I think he's absolutely hilarious and a perfect compliment to Gavin.

01:31:04.000 Thank you.

01:31:05.000 Secondly, My question is: kind of going back to one or two calls ago, a guy was talking about in these affluent white neighborhoods, people having Black Lives Matter signs up all over the place.

01:31:22.000 Isn't there something a bit elitist and possibly racist with white people putting up Black Lives Matter signs?

01:31:33.000 If you were black and you showed up to your white buddy's house and he's like, hey, Black Lives Matter, wouldn't you be like, well, I assume they did.

01:31:44.000 We're friends, you know?

01:31:47.000 Yeah.

01:31:48.000 I don't know what it means.

01:31:49.000 Like in the suburbs that are all white, the whitest areas imaginable, have that.

01:31:54.000 And that sign, let's be as generous as we possibly can.

01:31:58.000 It means I've noticed that the cops are being too violent in my neighborhood of Baltimore.

01:32:02.000 Can you guys take it easy?

01:32:03.000 You know, we matter too, you know.

01:32:06.000 Get evidence before you throw us up against the car.

01:32:08.000 I could almost understand that in that context.

01:32:10.000 It's in the hood.

01:32:11.000 It's in the slum.

01:32:12.000 It's saying, cops, take it easy on us a little bit.

01:32:14.000 Some of us are cool.

01:32:16.000 Okay, I don't agree with you.

01:32:18.000 That's not what it means.

01:32:19.000 But at least there is some logic there.

01:32:21.000 In the suburbs, in a white neighborhood, you're saying to cops, hey, man, stop hurting black people.

01:32:27.000 And the cops are like, what, black people?

01:32:29.000 I haven't seen one in three days.

01:32:34.000 So I don't get it.

01:32:37.000 I think what you said before is that a lot of people like black people, what is it, in theory and not in practice.

01:32:47.000 What's really odd is I think people, you know, a lot of these folks would be, I'm sorry, I said folks.

01:32:54.000 A lot of these people would be, you know, totally wouldn't know how to behave around, you know, even a working class person, much less a black person or a brown person.

01:33:06.000 And ultimately, no matter how many signs you put up, isn't that a bit more racist?

01:33:12.000 Just act normal around people, you know?

01:33:15.000 Yeah, well, they don't act normal because they have no experience, and they have no experience because they don't like them.

01:33:19.000 They're ultimately disgusted.

01:33:21.000 And that's why you see them fawn over someone like Neil deGrasse Tyson, because they go, look, we dressed a monkey up in a suit and he can do a trick.

01:33:28.000 I'm not calling blacks monkeys in that analogy.

01:33:30.000 They are.

01:33:31.000 And they want them to do ballet and to listen to classical music and to eat with the outside cutlery coming in like Tarzan after he had been domesticated.

01:33:43.000 They don't like actual black culture.

01:33:45.000 They don't think blacks like it either.

01:33:46.000 And they're wrong.

01:33:47.000 They do.

01:33:48.000 I mean, whites are the only people with this strange gene where they hate themselves.

01:33:52.000 No one else talks like this.

01:33:53.000 I don't get it.

01:33:54.000 All right.

01:33:54.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:33:55.000 Next call.

01:33:58.000 Christopher.

01:34:01.000 It's Christopher.

01:34:04.000 Hello?

01:34:05.000 Hey, buddy.

01:34:07.000 Hey, man.

01:34:08.000 Hello, buddy.

01:34:11.000 Am I speaking to Gabriel and the father of the bag zone?

01:34:15.000 Yes.

01:34:17.000 This is the shirt, by the way.

01:34:19.000 I had to ask me.

01:34:20.000 I'm probably going to butcher this.

01:34:23.000 I wanted to Gavin, I love you more than a friend, but I wanted to criticize you on your attitude with the police.

01:34:30.000 Like, I know they're in a shitty position, but you've kind of limped it with your views on what they should be doing.

01:34:40.000 I mean, do you have any other ideas for how they're supposed to not enforce this stuff, but not get fired?

01:34:50.000 I think that we need to have a shift where they need to stand up for themselves.

01:34:54.000 Well, I mean, it depends on the situation.

01:34:57.000 And it does seem pretty harsh that they went and enforced the law with Mac's public alehouse.

01:35:07.000 But should they have gotten fired and lost their pensions and left their families penniless to stand up to Danny Presty because they don't agree with the law?

01:35:20.000 I don't know.

01:35:22.000 I mean, I guess one thing that I'm thinking as an analogy is what's the point of being an American cop if you're metaphorically living in Israel, if your police department commander is like, you know, like a chief,

01:35:37.000 is like a Nazi general.

01:35:39.000 Like, they're giving these, I mean, their publication of like what they're saying, what they need to enforce is just not American.

01:35:51.000 So what is the officer meant to do?

01:35:54.000 I mean, the, you know, normal police officers meant to do.

01:35:57.000 Yeah, I guess they bend the rules and they do as little as they can.

01:36:03.000 And they say, here, sneak out the back.

01:36:05.000 I mean, he did run over two cops and get released from the station without bail.

01:36:10.000 So I'm not sure how hard they're enforcing these laws.

01:36:13.000 They got a $15,000 fine.

01:36:16.000 Danny ripped it up and it went down to $1,000 fine.

01:36:20.000 There's nuance there, but I agree with you.

01:36:21.000 This is looking egregious, and it's not looking good for cops.

01:36:24.000 Okay, next call.

01:36:29.000 Kate.

01:36:31.000 You got a water.

01:36:34.000 Go ahead.

01:36:35.000 What's a water?

01:36:37.000 Oh.

01:36:39.000 Hi.

01:36:40.000 Am I on right now?

01:36:41.000 You are live to the world.

01:36:44.000 Are you kidding me?

01:36:45.000 Forgive me.

01:36:46.000 My wife is such a fucking cunt.

01:36:48.000 Should I kill her?

01:36:49.000 Wait, is she screaming?

01:36:50.000 Okay, Gavin.

01:36:52.000 What?

01:36:52.000 No.

01:36:53.000 Oh.

01:36:54.000 There's a screw in here.

01:36:55.000 Here's a movie?

01:36:56.000 Wait, what's happening?

01:36:58.000 I don't know.

01:36:58.000 I was just hearing...

01:36:59.000 Alright.

01:37:00.000 I thought I heard something.

01:37:01.000 No, shut the fuck up.

01:37:03.000 No, it's fine.

01:37:04.000 Just some domestic problems at home.

01:37:07.000 Oh, no, I didn't.

01:37:07.000 Alright, well, last time, Color.

01:37:09.000 Hit your wife.

01:37:10.000 Last time Color.

01:37:12.000 Last time, Color.

01:37:13.000 Did I kill my wife?

01:37:14.000 No, don't kill her.

01:37:15.000 Just, you know, teach her a lesson.

01:37:17.000 Slap her around.

01:37:19.000 Hey, I think you should get a bunch of mantis shrimp on the show and just kill them all.

01:37:26.000 Just kill them.

01:37:27.000 Man, this guy looks like death.

01:37:29.000 Oh, I see what you mean.

01:37:30.000 Like each episode.

01:37:32.000 Gavin, once he talked about getting a shark tank and then just when you want to die, you just go in the shark tank, just like Joe Biggs has that grenade for when he wants to kill himself, you know, Brian's dad or whatever, his father figure,

01:37:47.000 Joe Biggs.

01:37:49.000 No bad, you know.

01:37:50.000 But Iva, would you rather for you?

01:37:53.000 Okay.

01:37:56.000 Would you rather be drawn and quartered or curb stomped?

01:38:01.000 Oh, curb stomped.

01:38:04.000 That's the teeth, right?

01:38:05.000 You don't know what drawn and quartered is, Ryan.

01:38:07.000 I do.

01:38:08.000 It's like you're hung upside down and then your guts.

01:38:11.000 Or all your limbs are pulled off by horses.

01:38:14.000 Oh, that's right.

01:38:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:15.000 No, that sucks.

01:38:16.000 You know, in the future, Ryan, when you do Would You Rathers, you should probably know what the things are.

01:38:21.000 I thought it was just some old-timey death, so I figured it was.

01:38:23.000 It is an old.

01:38:24.000 Oh, so you figured you just guessed it.

01:38:25.000 It is.

01:38:27.000 That's true.

01:38:28.000 That's not.

01:38:29.000 Okay.

01:38:30.000 I guess Kirb stopped.

01:38:32.000 All right.

01:38:32.000 Thanks for watching.

01:38:33.000 Do I win a prize?

01:38:35.000 Do I win a prize?

01:38:36.000 You didn't.

01:38:37.000 I'm sorry.

01:38:37.000 God bless you though.

01:38:38.000 I emailed you.

01:38:40.000 I emailed you.

01:38:41.000 Well, if you won, then, yeah, and I'll check your email and then I'll forward that.

01:38:44.000 Sometimes things get backed up, but everybody's going to get prizes.

01:38:46.000 Sometimes Ryan fucks up.

01:38:47.000 That's not true.

01:38:48.000 I send it forward and then it's got to go forward, forward.

01:38:53.000 It's got some forwarding to do.

01:38:55.000 That guy was funny.

01:38:58.000 He loved death.

01:38:59.000 Everything that he spoke about was about dying.

01:39:03.000 Justin.

01:39:06.000 Hello?

01:39:07.000 Hello.

01:39:08.000 Hey, guys.

01:39:09.000 How are you?

01:39:09.000 Good.

01:39:10.000 How are you doing today?

01:39:12.000 Good, man.

01:39:13.000 Hey, Gav.

01:39:14.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:39:15.000 You both rock.

01:39:16.000 I just want to ask Gav what he thought about Howard signing again for another five years, even though the dude's completely out of content and he spends like three hours on the show just complaining about Trump and COVID.

01:39:28.000 And it's really boring.

01:39:30.000 I know Gavin's a fan, so I'm just interested.

01:39:32.000 Yeah, what else is he going to do?

01:39:34.000 He pretends he has all these hobbies and he loves to draw.

01:39:38.000 He has no life.

01:39:40.000 He's agoraphobic.

01:39:41.000 He would die in there.

01:39:44.000 His only interaction with human beings is going to work.

01:39:48.000 His wife doesn't even fuck him anymore.

01:39:50.000 So he has no choice but to come in.

01:39:53.000 It's his entire existence.

01:39:56.000 Bullying Ronnie and Baba Booey.

01:39:58.000 That's what gives him meaning in life.

01:40:00.000 And his wife's a retard.

01:40:02.000 She thinks she's saving the world by bringing a stray dog a snack.

01:40:08.000 So he always intended to sign.

01:40:09.000 He pretends he's not going to sign because he wants you to be scared, and it makes it so exciting when he resigns.

01:40:17.000 But he's got like $90 million a year and nothing else going on.

01:40:21.000 But you're right.

01:40:22.000 The show is getting worse and worse and worse.

01:40:25.000 The COVID bitching and all the interviews are ass-licking.

01:40:29.000 He tells the celebrity that they're wonderful and then they tell him that he's fantastic.

01:40:34.000 It's so fucking uninteresting.

01:40:36.000 Benji is the only one who ever questions him about anything.

01:40:40.000 And they instantly shut him down.

01:40:44.000 Benji's really come into his own, man.

01:40:46.000 He's like, I almost feel bad for him because you know they probably hate him there.

01:40:50.000 Because they have that one dude from the one Canadian dude who's always doing all the gay stuff.

01:40:56.000 Oh, I hate that guy.

01:40:57.000 And I don't know if you remember.

01:40:59.000 So do I, man.

01:41:00.000 He's such a fucking.

01:41:01.000 What's his name, David?

01:41:03.000 His name is David.

01:41:05.000 Remember when they were doing like who's the Ronnie voting for?

01:41:08.000 And it went home for like two or three weeks.

01:41:10.000 And him and Jason were like, if you're voting for Trump, we can never be friends with you.

01:41:15.000 We hate you.

01:41:16.000 And it's just like, what the fuck are you kidding me?

01:41:20.000 Like, that's not the way it's supposed to go.

01:41:23.000 Like, just because the guy thinks differently than you doesn't mean that you can't be his friend anymore.

01:41:28.000 Well, what pisses me off about that show?

01:41:30.000 To have a certain show today.

01:41:31.000 It's working class culture.

01:41:33.000 They made their bones with like pranks and blue-collar dudes, the whackpackers.

01:41:39.000 It's like a blue car thing.

01:41:40.000 And then Ronnie is a big part of that.

01:41:43.000 And then they all start making money and they become fags and they say, you're dead to me if you vote for that because you're a white supremacist.

01:41:50.000 And you go, you can't come into the clubhouse as a blue-collar dude and then start instilling all these elitist values of made-up bullshit from your fucking elitist dinner parties.

01:42:02.000 It's crazy.

01:42:04.000 It's like really disappointing.

01:42:05.000 Like, the way I always like put it, like, Howard, his career is like, I mean, yeah, I know the Hollywood people love him, but like, just imagine like four years ago, you know, Trump's elected president.

01:42:17.000 Everybody starts dumping on him.

01:42:18.000 And then Howard turns like, fuck you guys.

01:42:20.000 You know, the left, you're crazy.

01:42:22.000 You're stupid.

01:42:22.000 You're insane.

01:42:23.000 Just think of like the way his career would be if he came out in that position instead of like trying to suck off Orlando Bloom.

01:42:31.000 You know, like, I just think he would be like, here, like, so creepy the way he talks to these celebrities, like they're in bed together.

01:42:41.000 But another thing that bugs me about him is he'll develop a fetish for some incredibly young actress who's like 18.

01:42:51.000 And then he'll talk about some show none of his mother.

01:42:53.000 Yeah, like Millie Bobby Brown.

01:42:54.000 Millie Bobby Brown.

01:42:55.000 And there was another one who's on some show like Charmed that we would never see in a million years.

01:43:00.000 Some like, you know, what's it called there?

01:43:03.000 The network, like this Z or I forget what it's called.

01:43:07.000 But some show about like vampires and witches that are at 17.

01:43:12.000 She's so good on it.

01:43:13.000 And then he'll have her on the show and you're like, dude, you're not supposed to even know that this show exists.

01:43:19.000 And you're sitting there with...

01:43:20.000 Like when he had the chick on from the kissing booth.

01:43:22.000 That's right.

01:43:23.000 The kissing booth.

01:43:24.000 Dude, you know that show is like for 14-year-old girls, right?

01:43:26.000 You fucking faggot.

01:43:28.000 Yeah.

01:43:29.000 It's so disturbing the way he's talking to her.

01:43:32.000 And then you hear her talk, and she sounds younger than my daughter.

01:43:34.000 And she's like, yeah, I went to drama school and we worked really hard.

01:43:38.000 And the director was so nice to work with.

01:43:40.000 And you're like, fucking gross, dude.

01:43:42.000 Stop leching over young girls.

01:43:45.000 You go to high stereotype.

01:43:48.000 Do you remember when he had Scarlett Johansson in?

01:43:51.000 Maybe it was like a year ago or who knows anymore because they all kind of blend together.

01:43:56.000 And she was like complaining about when she was younger, there would be like all these creepy executives staring at her kits and making suggestive comments.

01:44:04.000 And Howard said something like, Oh, wasn't it great getting all the attention?

01:44:08.000 And she was like, Dude, no, I was like 14 years old.

01:44:11.000 It was like, Yeah, 14-year-olds love having 50-year-old men leering over them, staring at their tits.

01:44:18.000 They love the attention.

01:44:20.000 What?

01:44:22.000 Yeah.

01:44:23.000 Yeah, Howard's this huge disappointment.

01:44:26.000 I actually was a little sad when he was like, I'm because I thought like finally, because I've been listening to this show since like 13.

01:44:32.000 It's like a big part of my life.

01:44:34.000 I'm in my 30s now.

01:44:35.000 So I was like, okay, finally, finally, I can get away from like this monotonous, tedious show.

01:44:42.000 And it was like five more years.

01:44:43.000 I was like, oh, God damn it.

01:44:45.000 This sucks.

01:44:46.000 So I'll probably keep tuning in because, you know, it's just fun to make fun of at this point.

01:44:51.000 Yeah.

01:44:51.000 And sometimes you go to Howard 101 and you hear something from 2015 or even early 2016.

01:44:58.000 You go, this is still a good show.

01:45:00.000 It's got balls.

01:45:01.000 It's all over the place.

01:45:02.000 It's not whining and griping.

01:45:04.000 And then here we are.

01:45:07.000 Every show after like mid-216 on is just bitching, bitching, bitching.

01:45:11.000 Trump, Trump, Trump.

01:45:12.000 And then COVID, oh my God, it's made him insufferable.

01:45:16.000 All right, buddy, thanks for calling.

01:45:17.000 I'd like to move my friend.

01:45:19.000 Let's see that chick.

01:45:21.000 She does actually look incredibly hot.

01:45:25.000 Is that the chick from the kissing booth?

01:45:28.000 Yep.

01:45:29.000 Let's see.

01:45:30.000 Joey King.

01:45:31.000 Joey King.

01:45:32.000 Joey King, how it's there.

01:45:34.000 So this is one of many young girls he latches out on.

01:45:38.000 I would say lurker.

01:45:40.000 Because you don't have a normal life.

01:45:42.000 You didn't go to high school.

01:45:43.000 The idea that you date and the relationships don't go on forever, I think is a good thing that you and Jacob broke up.

01:45:51.000 Me too.

01:45:52.000 I think it's a great thing.

01:45:53.000 I also think it's a good thing that we date it.

01:45:56.000 I think people try to sound like adults.

01:45:57.000 Yes.

01:45:58.000 I think it's a great thing.

01:46:00.000 I think that we all get to a point in our lives where we're angry, but we're ready to move on.

01:46:06.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:46:07.000 And it's actually a form of joy.

01:46:10.000 Some anger, some pain is actually happiness in disguise.

01:46:14.000 And I learned that through years and years of being fucking 10 years old.

01:46:20.000 No, it was another girl that was on your screen there with blacker hair.

01:46:24.000 What was that you were looking at?

01:46:26.000 That was Scarlett Johansson.

01:46:28.000 With black hair?

01:46:30.000 Darker.

01:46:31.000 Darker.

01:46:38.000 No, that's not what I was looking at.

01:46:39.000 What the?

01:46:42.000 Oh.

01:46:43.000 That.

01:46:45.000 Who's that?

01:46:47.000 Oh, that looks better from far away.

01:46:52.000 Look at this.

01:46:53.000 Oh, that's Kimbra.

01:46:56.000 No, is it?

01:46:58.000 No, no, it's some Russian doing the song.

01:47:00.000 A different Russian language.

01:47:04.000 Oh, there's the deep voice one.

01:47:16.000 A Russian bride, but could you put up with a fucking accent for the rest of your life?

01:47:22.000 I mean, she's obviously beautiful, but imagine going, so are we going to see the karaoke on Friday with you?

01:47:28.000 I understand you have made a reservation at King's Steakhouse.

01:47:32.000 Maybe we go to King's Steakhouse, and then we take your friend and his beautiful bride to karaoke.

01:47:39.000 It's actually going to be the three of us.

01:47:42.000 So I need you to stay here with the kids.

01:47:44.000 Oh, can we not procure a babysitter?

01:47:49.000 I guess.

01:47:53.000 You're so right.

01:47:54.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:47:55.000 I couldn't deal with it.

01:47:56.000 No.

01:48:01.000 No, Jimmy.

01:48:02.000 It does not work.

01:48:04.000 There's Jim Fannin.

01:48:06.000 Okay.

01:48:06.000 Nice try, but no, you got to do the...

01:48:08.000 Pay for effort.

01:48:10.000 We got Greg Noodles.

01:48:12.000 Whatever happened to his girlfriend that he met online?

01:48:15.000 She's probably talking the way that you just mimicked.

01:48:19.000 Greg Noodles.

01:48:22.000 Hi, Greg Noods.

01:48:24.000 Hey, man.

01:48:25.000 How are you doing?

01:48:27.000 Hey.

01:48:28.000 Hey.

01:48:29.000 How are you?

01:48:30.000 Hearing?

01:48:31.000 Yep.

01:48:32.000 You hear me?

01:48:35.000 Got a quick comment for you guys.

01:48:38.000 Gab, your doodles, you got to do more historical annotations to your drawings.

01:48:44.000 Okay, I just added annotations to this one.

01:48:48.000 I have like a vision of hanging them in my bathroom so when I have guests over who are taking a piss, they can get a little bit of insight.

01:48:58.000 Okay.

01:48:59.000 Well, we're going to be selling that American history of a much fancier one.

01:49:04.000 I don't know if I showed it on the show, but a very fancy history of America.

01:49:09.000 We're making that into a huge poster this big.

01:49:13.000 And we'll be selling that on the site.

01:49:14.000 Yeah, I saw that on Parlor, and I'm looking forward to that.

01:49:18.000 And I also saw that there was a doodle up on the site that was about a lynching or something.

01:49:23.000 And I just really like the concept of having misnomers re-explained throughout history.

01:49:29.000 Right.

01:49:30.000 Careful with the word misnomer.

01:49:31.000 I got in a lot of trouble for that.

01:49:32.000 Misnomer means a word that is wrongly used, not myths.

01:49:38.000 That might be my fault that you're saying that.

01:49:40.000 Okay.

01:49:40.000 I will build a great, great.

01:49:43.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:49:44.000 Like you more than a friend.

01:49:45.000 Next call.

01:49:45.000 I got to get these pens.

01:49:48.000 Phil.

01:49:51.000 Phil is on the line.

01:49:54.000 Wait, I'm trying to click it.

01:49:55.000 There we go.

01:49:55.000 Phil.

01:49:56.000 Yo, G Dog.

01:49:59.000 He can hear you.

01:50:03.000 So I took your advice, and I was talking to my sister at Thanksgiving.

01:50:08.000 You know, she's far lefty, whatever.

01:50:12.000 And I was a little casual about it.

01:50:14.000 She was talking about how he was a racist.

01:50:15.000 And I was like, yeah, you know, it's funny before he was president, and his friends were like Oprah.

01:50:20.000 That's the correct angle, my friends.

01:50:22.000 That's how you do it.

01:50:25.000 Yeah, yeah, you know, just coy about it.

01:50:27.000 Not overbearing.

01:50:29.000 But she's like, You know, it's not that I think he's a racist, like, I think he's a sexist.

01:50:37.000 Okay, well, you said racist, so now we're doing sexism?

01:50:40.000 You're changing it?

01:50:41.000 Okay, right.

01:50:43.000 But it kind of like it kind of hit me right then.

01:50:48.000 Like, you know, I don't want to get your opinion on this.

01:50:50.000 Like, you know, the divide now is not between the races.

01:50:56.000 I don't think the races are that far off.

01:50:59.000 The divide is between the sexists.

01:51:00.000 Like, you know, it's women who are wanting to destroy the nuclear family.

01:51:07.000 You know, they're the ones behind Black Lives Matter and all this shit.

01:51:12.000 Yeah.

01:51:12.000 And a lot of lesbians, too.

01:51:16.000 Like, Black Lives Matter is a lesbian organization.

01:51:23.000 Right.

01:51:25.000 And it's, I guess it's both women and white women, too.

01:51:28.000 And the strange thing is there's a little civil war there where they're like, white woman, you need to stand back and let black women show you what's happening.

01:51:37.000 It's like there's a civil war within their stupid activism.

01:51:43.000 Well, they're still in the same team.

01:51:45.000 And I don't know.

01:51:47.000 Like, I feel like this whole racism thing would go away if, like, you know, women would focus more on, you know, being at home and having children, you know?

01:52:01.000 Yeah, they'd be too busy.

01:52:06.000 Exactly.

01:52:07.000 The symbols.

01:52:09.000 All right, buddy, thanks for calling.

01:52:10.000 Interesting insight.

01:52:12.000 And I know I sound sexist when I say all this.

01:52:16.000 It's fucking women this and women that.

01:52:18.000 But I'm actually talking more about what we've done to women.

01:52:22.000 I don't think it's I call them, you know, robots.

01:52:25.000 Someone got water on them.

01:52:26.000 They're great robots, but they're running around like because they've been told they're men and they shouldn't breed and they should accept getting fucked by any stranger in the middle of the night.

01:52:38.000 And it's made them frazzled and desperate and lost.

01:52:43.000 So in their pure form, when they're married and having a good time, they're empowered and interesting and fun to talk to and stuff.

01:52:51.000 Like my wife's friends, my wife had a girls' night the other night, and it was fun.

01:52:57.000 I pretended that I thought I was part of it, and then I actually started becoming part of it and enjoying myself.

01:53:03.000 Because they were interesting women, and they were fulfilled women who had kids and stuff.

01:53:10.000 All right, next call.

01:53:11.000 What do I do with my money?

01:53:13.000 Caller wants to know.

01:53:18.000 Okay, hey, so I was going to ask that, but you guys started talking about the topic now.

01:53:26.000 But these ladies are all, especially, you know, I'm 23 years old.

01:53:32.000 It seems like just so hyper fixated on telling you what you get to do and what you think is okay.

01:53:40.000 So, you know, for example, I'm a student at college.

01:53:43.000 I'm actually going to graduate soon.

01:53:45.000 But, you know, we get assigned into a group and we have to talk about vaccines.

01:53:50.000 And, you know, I know it's obviously super hyped right now with everything going on with the COVID, but they are so strong in the belief that my body's my choice when it comes to abortion, but they don't even see that when it comes to vaccines.

01:54:03.000 Like, you know, they just think that with the snap of the fingers, the government should get to do whatever they think is necessary to stop something.

01:54:11.000 They totally want to make the exchange for security instead of liberty, and they don't even see the problem with that.

01:54:19.000 So that's all I got to say.

01:54:21.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:54:22.000 Yeah, they're not big on logic, are they, boys?

01:54:27.000 And we love them so much.

01:54:28.000 And when we talk to the ones that have kids, they're a totally different breed.

01:54:33.000 I don't know.

01:54:34.000 And then there's, of course, the daddy issues when they get older, they can often be ex-husband issues.

01:54:40.000 And then they hate the man that dumped them or that they lost or that won't give them enough money.

01:54:47.000 It's just a mess.

01:54:50.000 We kind of have destroyed the nuclear family.

01:54:52.000 In fact, you could argue boomers destroyed the nuclear family.

01:54:57.000 I mean, they invented divorce, but got J. Fiber.

01:55:07.000 Yo, what's up, Gabriel McPenis and Bobby Lee's retired cousin?

01:55:12.000 So I was thinking that kids growing up to be pussies these days, maybe we need more bullying in schools.

01:55:22.000 What do you think?

01:55:23.000 Tom Shalou wrote a great book about that, about the joys of bullying and how important it is.

01:55:29.000 You know, we were all bullies.

01:55:32.000 We all bullied.

01:55:33.000 I mean, we were all, yeah, we were all bullied and we were all bullies, or at least the majority of us have experienced both.

01:55:38.000 And it was cool to experience both.

01:55:42.000 You know, I remember being in fear walking through my school, my hallways and stuff, from the Carpies.

01:55:48.000 Carpies were farmers.

01:55:50.000 We lived near a rural area named Carp.

01:55:52.000 And the Carpies would fucking kick your ass.

01:55:55.000 And so you were scared of them.

01:55:57.000 And that was good.

01:55:58.000 You should be scared.

01:56:00.000 You should be scared of some things.

01:56:04.000 Yeah, let's bring it back.

01:56:06.000 I see so much of this.

01:56:07.000 And you see this with Antifa.

01:56:09.000 Remember those fights we were showing at, it was either yesterday's shows or the show before, where you'd see them pick a fight and then just get punched and it would just rock them.

01:56:17.000 And you realize, oh, that's your first punch.

01:56:20.000 You should be getting your first punch.

01:56:23.000 I would say 11, 10 or 11.

01:56:26.000 And then you should have like a nosebleed super fight around 13.

01:56:33.000 And then you should be fighting pretty regularly throughout your teens.

01:56:36.000 You know, no weapons or anything, but you should have like a fight a year at least.

01:56:41.000 And then by the time you get older, you can take care of yourself.

01:56:45.000 You can protect a woman if she's getting slapped on the train.

01:56:47.000 But you realize that fighting isn't all it's cracked up to be.

01:56:52.000 And you fucking grow up.

01:56:54.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.

01:56:58.000 Thanks, Tony.

01:57:00.000 Here's my tonight.

01:57:24.000 the best one we've ever had.

01:57:26.000 Great editing.

01:57:27.000 I'm just concerned about the scoop.

01:57:29.000 That bottom lip is such a scooper.

01:57:32.000 Looks like he's going to drown if it rains.

01:57:35.000 That was a little off.

01:57:36.000 It's got to be a smile.

01:57:37.000 Like, the smile is supposed to come up to here.

01:57:40.000 Your smile was like a little scoop.

01:57:42.000 But otherwise, that was excellent.

01:57:44.000 Brilliant editing.

01:57:45.000 Delivery was well done.

01:57:47.000 Good day, sir.

01:57:49.000 Cody on the line.

01:57:52.000 Cody?

01:57:54.000 G-Dog, right, guy.

01:57:55.000 Hello.

01:57:57.000 What's up?

01:57:58.000 Yo, dude.

01:57:59.000 Can you hear me?

01:58:00.000 Yep.

01:58:01.000 You sound great.

01:58:02.000 Okay.

01:58:03.000 So I'm calling.

01:58:04.000 I live near the fag zone of Seattle, and I'm calling about the enforcement.

01:58:10.000 Yeah, fag cop of the world.

01:58:13.000 And I've been going through the process.

01:58:15.000 I'm about one step away from going to the academy.

01:58:18.000 I just want to hear your thoughts on it.

01:58:20.000 If you think it's worth it to even be a cop anymore, you know, going through all this stressful testing just to get told to fuck off and possibly get shot in the back of the head.

01:58:29.000 It's not really worth it.

01:58:32.000 That's a tough one, dude.

01:58:34.000 You want to become a cop in Seattle?

01:58:38.000 Near Seattle.

01:58:40.000 What, Tacoma?

01:58:43.000 Yeah.

01:58:44.000 I mean, they're all compromised at this point.

01:58:45.000 It's not like there's a difference between Seattle, Vancouver, Tacoma, and Portland.

01:58:50.000 They're all the same.

01:58:53.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:58:54.000 Oh, that's a tough one.

01:58:55.000 I was wondering if you think, yeah, like, do you think police will ever be, like, respected again and actually looked up to as good guys, you know?

01:59:04.000 Well, I mean, if you talk to New York cops, they'll tell you that it's all just ebbs and flows.

01:59:09.000 And there was a time, like, with Dinkins, they were human garbage.

01:59:12.000 Then with Giuliani, they were respected.

01:59:15.000 And then with Bloomberg, it was sort of in the middle.

01:59:18.000 And then with De Blasio, they're back to Dinkins days.

01:59:22.000 They're human garbage now.

01:59:25.000 But one thing that I don't want to discourage anyone from pursuing police work, but every time I ask a cop if he would want his kids to be cops, 100% of the time he says no.

01:59:40.000 And that, like five years ago, it would be the opposite.

01:59:44.000 It would be like 100% yes.

01:59:48.000 So.

01:59:49.000 Yeah, I get that.

01:59:50.000 I don't know, man.

01:59:51.000 It's like, you know, I want to do it forever, but I'm tempted to go back to the military for a while and then after getting back out, then trying again later.

02:00:00.000 But it's like even going in the military.

02:00:01.000 I don't want to, you know, if Biden somehow gets in office, I don't want to, you know, have Sleepy Joe doesn't even know where he's at being my commander.

02:00:08.000 Sending you to some fucking crazy war in Kazakhstan.

02:00:14.000 Exactly.

02:00:14.000 Get my legs blown off.

02:00:16.000 And then, you know, now I can't be a cop anyway.

02:00:20.000 Yeah, you got a tough.

02:00:21.000 I can't make this call, dude.

02:00:23.000 You got to talk to cops there and, you know, make an educated decision.

02:00:29.000 Because my first gut instinct, if you were like a stranger in the street, I'd just say, no, fuck it.

02:00:34.000 The job's over.

02:00:36.000 But you're a subscriber of the show, so I care about you.

02:00:39.000 I like you more than a friend.

02:00:42.000 So my first instinct is no.

02:00:46.000 There's no future for that job.

02:00:48.000 The job is over.

02:00:49.000 And that's definitely the way New York cops talk.

02:00:51.000 They're all so happy.

02:00:52.000 All the retired ones are so happy they dodged a bullet.

02:00:56.000 But I don't know, dude.

02:00:58.000 It's looking like no.

02:01:00.000 Yeah, like all of SPD.

02:01:02.000 All of SPD is retiring and stuff, you know, getting out as fast as they can.

02:01:06.000 And, you know, times when you're calling for an emergency is so long, you know, especially how they re-elected Gay Inslee this year, you know, that doesn't help.

02:01:15.000 Well, the message to cops around the Western world, but especially in Seattle, especially in the Pacific Northwest and Southern California and New York, the message is you are report takers.

02:01:29.000 Show up five minutes late and take a report.

02:01:34.000 Exactly.

02:01:35.000 Yeah, I know a whole bunch of cops around the area, you know, and they're like, oh, we, you know, sometimes depending on what kind of call we get, we'll take our time to get there if it's not like a life-threatening emergency.

02:01:46.000 Oh, I know police chiefs who will kick the shit out of their guys if they do any policing.

02:01:52.000 Because he's like, I don't want attention.

02:01:54.000 Don't fucking rock the boat.

02:01:56.000 Show up late, take a report, or you're in big trouble.

02:02:01.000 Exactly.

02:02:01.000 And it's just a shame that politics just drives all this stuff.

02:02:05.000 This is kind of a separate thing, but have you heard they passed a thing called Referendum 90 here in Washington, and that's a children's sex ed bill.

02:02:17.000 And on the ballot, it just says, oh, more sex ed for kids.

02:02:20.000 But when you look into it, they actually want to change it to in 2021 to 2023, they want to start teaching K to 3 about sex ed.

02:02:30.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:31.000 And telling them what trans and polyamorous means?

02:02:35.000 That's fucking intriguing.

02:02:36.000 That might be the spark that gets parents fighting back.

02:02:40.000 Like, I hate this term.

02:02:42.000 Do kids know what polyamorous means?

02:02:43.000 Polyamorous is a sexual preference.

02:02:46.000 I don't want kids knowing what sex is at that age.

02:02:52.000 Exactly.

02:02:52.000 I completely agree.

02:02:53.000 And they're like, you know, I don't want my children to know what racism is.

02:02:58.000 Like that clip you showed earlier of that Cartoon Network thing.

02:03:00.000 I just couldn't believe what I was watching, you know, talking about racism.

02:03:03.000 Like, who cares?

02:03:04.000 I don't care what your skin color is.

02:03:06.000 I'm five.

02:03:09.000 So, so five-year-old, polygamy, polyamorous is when you'll suck and fuck anything that moves.

02:03:17.000 What's sucking and fucking?

02:03:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:03:20.000 All right.

02:03:20.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

02:03:21.000 Make an educated decision.

02:03:22.000 You're about to make a big move.

02:03:25.000 Oh, shit.

02:03:26.000 I fucked up.

02:03:30.000 I fucked up my drawing.

02:03:32.000 What do you got there?

02:03:34.000 I'll show you when it's done.

02:03:42.000 Free speech TV, what the F?

02:03:43.000 Okay, Phil, I want to talk about the Trump button.

02:03:45.000 I think you guys are doing shenanigans.

02:03:47.000 Okay?

02:03:50.000 I am beyond angry.

02:03:52.000 I am beyond angry.

02:03:54.000 I am beyond angry.

02:03:57.000 Good.

02:03:59.000 Hey, first time, long time, or maybe it's backwards, I don't remember.

02:04:04.000 I think you're being disingenuous with the Trump button because I don't believe it's random.

02:04:11.000 Last couple shows, I've noticed it's just a little too perfect when you're looking at the media.

02:04:17.000 Let's see what the Trump button thinks about what you're saying.

02:04:24.000 Hmm.

02:04:27.000 Do you think that was edited?

02:04:29.000 Sir?

02:04:31.000 I think you know the sequence because it's a cheap Chinese Trump button and you know what's about to happen next.

02:04:37.000 No, no, no.

02:04:37.000 And he remembers it?

02:04:39.000 Like in the back of his head, like, you know, 15 minutes apart.

02:04:42.000 Because it was spaced out.

02:04:43.000 I would need like a sheet of paper that has them all and I would have to peek little peeks at it.

02:04:48.000 And being good at it, if you will.

02:04:53.000 All right, you got me.

02:04:54.000 Yeah.

02:04:55.000 Plus, I'm drawing, so I can't be looking at anything.

02:05:00.000 Look at the view.

02:05:01.000 Look at this masterpiece I did.

02:05:08.000 But we should make our own button, don't you think?

02:05:11.000 Yeah.

02:05:13.000 With all the hits.

02:05:15.000 All right, we're out of time, guys.

02:05:18.000 Thank you for tuning in.

02:05:20.000 We got big, big plans for the upcoming days.

02:05:24.000 I'm going to make sure that everyone is thoroughly entertained.

02:05:27.000 Where's my pens with the quills, by the way?

02:05:30.000 No.

02:05:32.000 I don't know.

02:05:32.000 How about that?

02:05:36.000 So that's going to be fun.

02:05:37.000 Stay tuned for we're going to get new contributors too.

02:05:40.000 We're really going on a fumph over the next few weeks because we appreciate you.

02:05:45.000 And I don't know.

02:05:48.000 We don't want to lose our jobs.

02:05:52.000 Yeah, this was an interesting episode.

02:05:55.000 It's amazing when you put all these things together into the individual categories.

02:05:59.000 You realize that we're living in a 16-year-old punk rocker's brain.

02:06:03.000 And 16-year-old punk rockers don't really believe what they're saying.

02:06:06.000 They're just trying to make their parents go, what the fuck?

02:06:08.000 They're trying to blow your mind, dude.

02:06:12.000 And then you explain it to them later and they go, yeah, I don't know.

02:06:15.000 Like when I would tell my dad, you don't care about the working man.

02:06:18.000 And he goes, you've never had a fucking job.

02:06:20.000 You're 13.

02:06:22.000 And I go, oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

02:06:24.000 We need to make them go, oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

02:06:27.000 And I think the best way to do that is through humor.

02:06:29.000 You know, John Lennon and Jimi Hendrix, the FBI didn't know what to do with them because they used humor.

02:06:36.000 As soon as you just start doing wanton violence, you lose.

02:06:41.000 We have to be slow and steady when the race.

02:06:44.000 So stand black and stand by, and we will beat them at their own game.

02:06:50.000 Get fired.

02:06:51.000 Get in trouble.

02:06:51.000 Be brave.

02:06:52.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 10, 2020

GOML LIVE #77 - TEENAGE HEAD

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