Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 22, 2021


GOML LIVE #95 | THEY'RE WINNING


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 2 minutes

Words per Minute

156.91574

Word Count

9,870

Sentence Count

988

Misogynist Sentences

43

Hate Speech Sentences

64


Summary

This week on GMAIL, Ryan and GMAJ try to figure out why Jesus is mad at them. They also talk about the latest in Tactical Walls and the new Tucker Carlson ad campaign. Also, a new ad from Johnny Apple and a poem written by Johnny Apple. Callers 1 and 2 are getting the $4.20 Johnny Apple CBD prize pack and some other stuff from the Ad Guy's prize wheel just because just because. And from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes! Get off My Lawn: AVAILABLE on ALL major podcast directories, if you search for it, you'll find us. Get on My Lawn! Subscribe to my channel Get On My Lawn. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also consider leaving us a five star rating and review the show on iTunes. It helps us to keep pushing the podcast out there and spreading the word to new and old listeners. other podcast listeners everywhere. Thanks for listening and supporting the show! Timestamps: 3:00 - What's your favorite thing you like about the show? 4:30 - What do you think of it? 5: What are you looking for? 6:40 - What would you like to see next? 7:15 - How do you would like to be featured on the next episode? 8:20 - What kind of ad? 9: What does it look like? 11:00 12: What's the worst thing you re watching? 13: What would your favorite part of a song you re listening to? 15:00 -- what do you want? 16:30 -- what are you most excited about? 17:40 -- what would you want to hear from me? 18:20 -- what kind of song you think I m listening to me most of your answer? 19: What s your thoughts on a song that s your favorite song? 20: what s your biggest superpower? 21:00--what s your first song of the week? 22:30--what do you like the most important? 27:00 & other? 26:00 + +1) -- what's your biggest takeaway from this song or other piece of advice you re going to be my favorite thing?


Transcript

00:00:14.000 And from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:20.000 Our home and native land.
00:00:25.000 True patriot love in all thy sons command.
00:00:33.000 With glowing hearts we see thee rise.
00:00:38.000 Be true, North strong and free.
00:00:47.000 I could have sworn when I was a kid it was, with glowing hearts we see the Christ, the true Lord strong and free.
00:00:53.000 That was O Canada, a hit from my hometown.
00:00:57.000 Yeah, I think they changed it to be less Christy.
00:01:08.000 I also remember with the Lord's Prayer, we would go, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
00:01:12.000 Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
00:01:14.000 Give us this daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
00:01:17.000 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
00:01:19.000 For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.
00:01:25.000 Amen.
00:01:26.000 Did you do that?
00:01:27.000 I don't remember that part.
00:01:29.000 The kingdom and the power and the glory?
00:01:30.000 No, they must have done that, they must have done the change before little Ryguy was born, but in French here, the battle cry for Christ and King, yeah.
00:01:41.000 Original French version.
00:01:41.000 Are you back to O Canada?
00:01:43.000 Yep.
00:01:45.000 So with glowing hearts we see the Christ, is that what it says?
00:01:49.000 For Christ and King, I'm only saying there.
00:01:53.000 Wait, what are you talking about, Ryan?
00:01:54.000 That's the French National Anthem, you absolute retard.
00:01:58.000 O Canada.
00:02:00.000 O Canada, beneath the shining seas.
00:02:04.000 O Canada, our home and native land.
00:02:06.000 True patriot love with all our sons command.
00:02:09.000 With glowing hearts, we see the Christ, the true Lord strong and free.
00:02:17.000 Anyway.
00:02:22.000 I'm mad at Christ this week.
00:02:25.000 Just kidding.
00:02:25.000 It'd be funny if you were mad at Christ.
00:02:29.000 It's pretty metal, but it's not the best place to be.
00:02:32.000 Jesus Christ is in my bad books this week.
00:02:36.000 No he's not.
00:02:37.000 Can we stop printing out color pictures?
00:02:40.000 I'm cheap.
00:02:42.000 Printing out color on a home printer or studio printer is as bad as messing with a man's thermostat.
00:02:54.000 Notes from the ad guy, please don't read on air.
00:02:57.000 I hope you have a great show.
00:02:59.000 We'll get listeners one and two a really nice prize pack from Johnny Apple since yesterday was $4.20.
00:03:04.000 Could you not bust my chops anymore when I say I want to send pizza?
00:03:08.000 Where I come from, I want to send you a pizza means like how you say I like you more than a friend.
00:03:13.000 I have my friends at the NYPD vet the last joint I sent you a pizza from.
00:03:18.000 I'm not sending a pizza with Antifa chovies, bro.
00:03:20.000 You're my favorite client.
00:03:21.000 Pizzas with bros.
00:03:22.000 That's not true.
00:03:23.000 He's lying.
00:03:25.000 There's no way that the NYPD were familiar with the pizza joints near our studio.
00:03:32.000 No way he found- You're a liar!
00:03:36.000 Let's jump into Tactical Walls!
00:03:39.000 Happy belated 420, mom!
00:03:42.000 Mon.
00:03:42.000 Sorry.
00:03:43.000 This episode of GML is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD.
00:03:46.000 Callers 1 and 2 are getting the $4.20 Johnny Apple CBD prize pack and some other stuff from the ad guy's prize wheel just because.
00:03:55.000 This is a $4.20 poem from Johnny Apple.
00:03:59.000 Wait, this is a Johnny Apple ad, Ryan.
00:04:01.000 I know it's weird that he jumped into tactical walls.
00:04:03.000 He did do a little jumping.
00:04:04.000 That's okay.
00:04:04.000 I'm not sure why he did that, but I think he may have written this without permission from Johnny Apple.
00:04:11.000 So this does not reflect the views of Johnny Apple?
00:04:14.000 Milo Yiannopoulos has some sort of lawsuit going on where this guy, he claims that he gave Milo like 50 grand to do like a telethon uncensored.
00:04:25.000 And I don't think he did it.
00:04:27.000 Well, he didn't do it.
00:04:29.000 So this guy calls all our advertisers and harasses them.
00:04:32.000 He wants his money and all our contributors and everyone.
00:04:35.000 He hasn't called me very much.
00:04:37.000 I'm not sure why.
00:04:39.000 And he wants Milo to give him the money back.
00:04:43.000 So I assume Tactical Walls and Johnny Apple have been getting harassed by this guy who claims Milo owes him 50 grand.
00:04:50.000 Which means when you see our advertisers know that they have been berated and harassed on a regular basis.
00:04:58.000 That's not unlike, sorry, that is unlike any other show.
00:05:03.000 When you see most advertisers outside of say Tucker Carlson, they're just advertising and they're promoting a thing and that's it.
00:05:11.000 Not at GOML.
00:05:12.000 You son of a bitch.
00:05:15.000 We also have a person with Down Syndrome writing the ad copy.
00:05:19.000 I didn't write the ad copy at all.
00:05:21.000 That was our ad guy.
00:05:22.000 Right, we have many people with Down Syndrome who work here.
00:05:25.000 Oh.
00:05:26.000 There's a lot of extra chromosomes floating around.
00:05:30.000 Make a whole new fucking whole ass person with these extras.
00:05:33.000 So here's his poem he's written on behalf of Johnny Apple CBD.
00:05:36.000 Johnny Apple is a sexy guy.
00:05:37.000 His CBD is the number and this is why.
00:05:40.000 It helps you sleep when you are stressed.
00:05:42.000 That's why Johnny Apple is the best.
00:05:46.000 And then he writes nothing rhymes with shit on my chest.
00:05:51.000 That actually wasn't that bad, dude.
00:05:52.000 No, it's good.
00:05:53.000 That poem sucked, he says, but the CBD is tremendous, so go buy some Johnny Apple and show our guys love.
00:05:59.000 Go to JACBD.com, enter promo code Gavin, and today you're getting 35% off everything for $4.20.
00:06:07.000 These Johnny Apple guys are like us politically.
00:06:10.000 If you support me, support Johnny Apple CBD.
00:06:12.000 We're coming up on two years of Johnny being on the show with us, and it is basically $4.20.
00:06:18.000 Treat yourself to some excellent CBD and feel as great as I do, biz jizz.
00:06:22.000 Go to JACBD.com, enter promo code Gavin, and today you're getting 35% off everything.
00:06:32.000 I guess he wants me to read it like the Will Ferrell character in Anchorman?
00:06:36.000 Not very clear here.
00:06:52.000 So yeah, we just did Anthony's show, or our show with Anthony, Compound Censored.
00:06:57.000 How did it stream?
00:06:58.000 It streamed beautifully.
00:07:00.000 Gorgeous.
00:07:01.000 Gorgeous, my my.
00:07:04.000 Did you watch it?
00:07:05.000 I watched some of it, yeah.
00:07:06.000 You're talking about...
00:07:08.000 You know what part I really liked?
00:07:10.000 That George Floyd, they wouldn't give the money up.
00:07:13.000 Not even the $27 million to get George Floyd back.
00:07:16.000 Like not even $10.
00:07:17.000 Like he's like, I'll give you $20.
00:07:18.000 You just give that back to me and then I'll bring back George Floyd.
00:07:22.000 Do we have to do this now?
00:07:23.000 Yeah, it was a great fucking observation.
00:07:25.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:26.000 It's so true.
00:07:27.000 He was a drone on everybody around him.
00:07:30.000 The closer you get to George Floyd,
00:07:32.000 The less people care about him.
00:07:34.000 If you're Maxine Waters or you're in Beverly Hills, they're crying today.
00:07:40.000 Crying tears of joy that the Messiah has been vindicated.
00:07:45.000 If you're George Floyd's girlfriend, you're like... I feel like I'm not sure it's a zit.
00:07:57.000 Because I feel like I go there expecting a booger.
00:08:00.000 Excuse me, can we ask you a question we're from CNN?
00:08:03.000 Yeah, sorry.
00:08:06.000 What is it?
00:08:07.000 Oh, yes, he felt less than and we're coming together with unity and hopefully this is a building block where we can start to
00:08:23.000 Yeah, start to heal.
00:08:23.000 Heal.
00:08:26.000 She doesn't give a flying fuck.
00:08:30.000 And if you want to see someone who really doesn't give a shit, check out, what's her name?
00:08:34.000 Mikhail, the 16 year old who was shot trying to stab a chick.
00:08:41.000 The woman around her.
00:08:44.000 Don't give a shit about her.
00:08:47.000 And I would argue that the white people pretending to care give equally none of a shit.
00:08:54.000 Like, I gotta tell you this story.
00:08:55.000 This is one of these things where you'll go, it's kind of a boring story, Gav.
00:09:01.000 Why did you put so much emphasis on it?
00:09:03.000 And then about 12 hours later, you're going to go, what the fuck?
00:09:15.000 What does he say?
00:09:16.000 Thunderstorms of bullshit?
00:09:18.000 Oh, explosions.
00:09:20.000 Explosions of bullshit.
00:09:22.000 Boom!
00:09:23.000 A buddy of mine is working on a new recycling app.
00:09:26.000 And it's kind of cool.
00:09:28.000 And it's really just based on cans.
00:09:30.000 Now, he asked me to check it out and I tried it at home and it's awesome and it's fun because I'm cheap.
00:09:35.000 So I like scanning a can and putting it away.
00:09:38.000 Hey.
00:09:40.000 And I said to him, you gotta make the campaign, recycling doesn't work, it's, stop recycling, fuck recycling, recycling's for faggots, that kind of stuff.
00:09:40.000 You're cool.
00:09:48.000 He's not into that, he's a liberal.
00:09:50.000 So he's like, no thank you, thank you for your tips, Mr. Provocative.
00:09:54.000 But I've talked to other, sorry, I asked him, how's it going with other people you gave it to?
00:10:01.000 And he's sending it to mostly rich people, because that's who he knows, right?
00:10:06.000 Guess what their problem with it is?
00:10:10.000 Not diverse enough.
00:10:12.000 Sort of.
00:10:13.000 Huh.
00:10:14.000 So what's the problem with... Oh, I got it.
00:10:16.000 ...scanning all your cans, your beer cans and everything and having a bag of just cans that you give to a company that recycles cans?
00:10:24.000 It takes away jobs from the people that collect cans.
00:10:27.000 Did I already tell you this story?
00:10:28.000 No, you did not.
00:10:29.000 Do you swear to God?
00:10:30.000 No, but this is my forte.
00:10:31.000 Do you want your mother to get AIDS if you're lying?
00:10:34.000 Yes.
00:10:35.000 You want her to have crippling AIDS if you're lying?
00:10:39.000 If you did not employ me, I would be collecting cans.
00:10:41.000 You want her to have AIDS so bad that she has praying mantis arms.
00:10:46.000 I do not wish the praying mantis arms.
00:10:47.000 Weird little mosquito legs.
00:10:48.000 I don't wish the legs.
00:10:49.000 And she looks like the scream, the painting The Scream.
00:10:53.000 That also looks like the face when, like, you say girls get all done up and they're all like... No, that's this face.
00:10:57.000 So that's kind of a hot face.
00:10:58.000 This is my hot girl face.
00:11:01.000 That is pretty fucking hot.
00:11:02.000 Imagine.
00:11:03.000 But that's close to the other face.
00:11:05.000 Hi.
00:11:06.000 Why does that really... I wasn't that honest in my Tinder.
00:11:08.000 I'm actually hotter in real life.
00:11:11.000 That actually improves the way you look.
00:11:13.000 Yeah.
00:11:13.000 Well, I have bee-stung lips and, like, um, millennia Trump eyes.
00:11:21.000 I look worse when I do that.
00:11:23.000 That is true.
00:11:35.000 I don't mind doing it, and I'm happy to help, but I just feel like I'm taking away from the cans that the woman who comes by... Now, in the all-white, wealthy suburbs of Westchester, you don't have a Chinese woman going through your cans like they did at my restaurant in the East Village, where I was a Chinese lady.
00:11:58.000 And a little side note here.
00:12:00.000 I brought this up before, but how did she get here?
00:12:04.000 Like, when I came to America, I had to show that I wasn't taking anyone's job, right?
00:12:10.000 I had to say, I'm bringing jobs, and I do media, and it's a unique skill, and please give me a bunch of visas, and I'll pay you thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars, and then get a green card, and then get citizenship.
00:12:23.000 What was her pitch?
00:12:24.000 Hello, I don't speak any English.
00:12:26.000 I'm gonna come get locked in.
00:12:29.000 And then you go, no, no, she didn't do a pitch, dumbass.
00:12:32.000 It's someone's mother.
00:12:33.000 Okay.
00:12:35.000 If it's someone's mother, where the fuck is he?
00:12:38.000 He brought his mom to America and has her sifting through garbage all day?
00:12:44.000 That's not the deal.
00:12:46.000 That's not cool.
00:12:48.000 That's not what you do when you bring a woman to a new country 3,000 miles away.
00:12:54.000 You're a dick.
00:12:56.000 So how did they get here?
00:12:59.000 I totally understand that being in the turd world, but how did it get here?
00:13:04.000 They're just hard-working people.
00:13:05.000 Okay, how did they get here?
00:13:08.000 Are they illegals?
00:13:11.000 How did Chinese illegals get here?
00:13:12.000 It's far.
00:13:13.000 I get how Mexicans do it.
00:13:16.000 Anyway, so that woman there, so in my neighborhood there's some black woman who drives around in a Honda Civic and she will go through the recycling and take the cans.
00:13:24.000 And so the people who this app has been tested on have said, eh, I feel bad for her.
00:13:33.000 And the guy who told it to me, he didn't understand, or I don't think he understood how horrifying that is to say.
00:13:43.000 Like, if you care about them, care about that woman right there, go give her a hundred bucks and fuck off.
00:13:49.000 Right.
00:13:49.000 Like, don't sit there in your living room and open the curtains and go,
00:13:54.000 She's enjoying my gift.
00:13:56.000 I'm letting her.
00:13:57.000 My garbage that I let her rifle through.
00:14:01.000 And then they go over, they close the curtains and then just, you know, lock the deadbolt just in case she gets any crazy ideas.
00:14:08.000 You fucking, you are so bourgeois.
00:14:11.000 You're such a fucking aristocrat that you think you are helping the poor by allowing them to rifle through your fucking garbage?
00:14:21.000 People don't even pity raccoons, so they're sub-raccoon, the way they look at them.
00:14:25.000 That's a new level of... unawareness.
00:14:32.000 If you think you're helping by allowing the poor to sift through your fucking garbage, you suck!
00:14:40.000 Like, I want to fight the guy who said that.
00:14:43.000 I should say to the dude who brought up, I should be like, yeah, I also have that problem.
00:14:49.000 I'm worried about my garbage pickers not getting enough.
00:14:54.000 I'd love to talk to him about it.
00:14:55.000 What's his name again?
00:14:56.000 I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.
00:15:03.000 I'm sorry and you know I had a few beers over at Anthony's so maybe this doesn't sound as crazy to you as it does to me but like I'm worried about my garbage being me sifting my own garbage because basically what they're saying is it's such a wonderful thing that I do for the community which is allow them to touch my fucking garbage.
00:15:28.000 Uh, I'm worried about my new toilets.
00:15:30.000 I liked that the poor could go through my shit and pick out kernels of corn and feed their family, but now that the shit goes right into the septic tanks, I feel bad for them.
00:15:42.000 They can't sift through my feces.
00:15:48.000 Am I nuts?
00:15:51.000 It makes me fucking furious.
00:15:51.000 Does that make you mad?
00:15:56.000 Oh...
00:15:57.000 Oh, the cans.
00:15:58.000 I'm so worried about the cans.
00:16:05.000 You know what else is sad?
00:16:06.000 What?
00:16:07.000 I was looking at Shiz Mobbin.
00:16:09.000 It's gone?
00:16:11.000 It's gone.
00:16:13.000 Um, somebody just stabbed me in the chest.
00:16:15.000 I understand.
00:16:16.000 A rapier.
00:16:17.000 It's bad.
00:16:19.000 Please be kidding.
00:16:20.000 Maybe you haven't logged in right.
00:16:21.000 See, this is how our brains work.
00:16:23.000 We don't accept the truth.
00:16:24.000 No, you know what I did?
00:16:25.000 I looked up to see.
00:16:26.000 He does.
00:16:27.000 He spelled it wrong.
00:16:29.000 I checked to see if they exist on Facebook or Twitter or if they have another account.
00:16:33.000 No, it's not.
00:16:34.000 Nothing.
00:16:35.000 That's crazy.
00:16:35.000 You just typed it in wrong.
00:16:37.000 A friend named Wymed, viewer of the show, let me know.
00:16:39.000 Okay, you got it wrong.
00:16:40.000 There it is.
00:16:41.000 You got it wrong.
00:16:42.000 Okay, that happened.
00:16:44.000 That didn't happen, folks.
00:16:46.000 Ryan's made a mistake again.
00:16:50.000 So, you know, I tried searching.
00:16:51.000 It's definitely there, okay?
00:16:52.000 I'm just going to look at my phone.
00:16:54.000 This guy, he's such a jokester.
00:16:57.000 I even tried to look, maybe they have a Reddit.
00:16:59.000 He makes so many mistakes.
00:16:59.000 He's a very silly boy.
00:17:01.000 There's no Reddit there.
00:17:03.000 As Biden would describe him, he's that funny Japanese boy.
00:17:07.000 Any thing you click.
00:17:09.000 Oh, I see a YouTube.
00:17:11.000 Shiz.
00:17:12.000 Shiz-muh.
00:17:14.000 Shiz-mah.
00:17:17.000 Shiz-mah-buh.
00:17:20.000 What's happening here?
00:17:23.000 What the fuck happened?
00:17:25.000 It seems to be gone.
00:17:26.000 You see?
00:17:27.000 That hurts.
00:17:29.000 That hurts.
00:17:30.000 Now, this is good.
00:17:32.000 Okay?
00:17:32.000 Twelve subscribers.
00:17:33.000 I don't know when they joined.
00:17:34.000 Let's see.
00:17:36.000 Joined in 2013.
00:17:38.000 This is not the same Shiz Mobbin.
00:17:40.000 A year ago they posted this.
00:17:41.000 Shiz Mobbin is Shiz Gobbin.
00:17:43.000 It's Shiz Gobbin.
00:17:45.000 That fucking hurts.
00:17:47.000 You know why Shiz Mobbin is gone?
00:17:49.000 Too much truth.
00:17:52.000 Too much raw footage of my hood.
00:17:55.000 Oh wait, wait, wait.
00:17:56.000 Hood fight in East... You know what?
00:17:57.000 Maybe he'll be more active on his YouTube because this might be it.
00:18:00.000 Hood fight in East New York and his thing is a 718 East New York.
00:18:05.000 So although this was eight years ago, this is shizmobbing content right here.
00:18:10.000 This is what we know and love him for.
00:18:12.000 Rest in peace.
00:18:14.000 Not that guy, but shizmobbing.
00:18:14.000 That was a good punch.
00:18:16.000 As I said on Anthony's show, I'm sorry, on my show with Anthony today, I saw these junkies at Penn Station and I was just like, I should just start fighting them.
00:18:24.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.000 Trying out new moves.
00:18:26.000 Yeah.
00:18:27.000 They're standing there like weird, stupid statues.
00:18:31.000 Why not try, is it even assault?
00:18:34.000 When someone's like... I think you get, maybe they would charge you with accelerating the inevitable.
00:18:34.000 No.
00:18:44.000 Look, accelerating the inevitable?
00:18:46.000 When did you become such a fucking geek?
00:18:49.000 Since I'm donning my outfit.
00:18:51.000 It's my falling up outfit.
00:18:53.000 Okay, mid-roll.
00:18:53.000 Tactical Walls.
00:18:54.000 This was Anthony's tweet on that same thing.
00:18:56.000 It was brutal, man.
00:18:59.000 I passed 20 George Floyds.
00:19:00.000 But he's coming from Penn Station.
00:19:01.000 I'm on 35th and 7th.
00:19:06.000 Totally different, well it's like a block away.
00:19:09.000 Just like fucking junkies, man.
00:19:13.000 Pre-Giuliani in New York.
00:19:17.000 Gavin, please don't read this out loud.
00:19:19.000 It's from Tactical Tim, the guy behind Tactical Walls.
00:19:26.000 Edit this out.
00:19:27.000 We're not live, are we?
00:19:28.000 We are live.
00:19:30.000 In the last show, Ryan was showing our website while Gavin was doing the read.
00:19:34.000 Ryan happened to be on our VMOD page where we build systems and land cruisers.
00:19:39.000 We got a VMOD order this week from a customer who called and let us know he ordered because of Gavin's show.
00:19:44.000 Thank you guys.
00:19:47.000 However, Ryan's face is distracting.
00:19:51.000 He is one of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life.
00:19:54.000 He looks like one of the weird creatures from Men in Black.
00:19:58.000 Is it possible when you are doing these reads for tactical walls you avoid showing his face?
00:20:08.000 Wow.
00:20:09.000 I resent that.
00:20:13.000 Also it says, who built his teeth?
00:20:15.000 Edward Scissorhands?
00:20:17.000 I don't even know what that means.
00:20:18.000 That doesn't make any sense.
00:20:19.000 They're saying my teeth are so awful that the craftsmanship was done by a man, Johnny Depp, who has hands that are scissors.
00:20:27.000 That's fucking terrible.
00:20:29.000 I know, I think that's not true.
00:20:30.000 No wonder they didn't want us to read that aloud.
00:20:33.000 Yeah, I wish you didn't either.
00:20:34.000 I regret it.
00:20:36.000 Can we change this in post?
00:20:38.000 This is live.
00:20:39.000 This is live.
00:20:41.000 That's terrible that.
00:20:42.000 That's terrible that.
00:20:43.000 Hanging's too good for you.
00:20:45.000 You have hurt me today.
00:20:47.000 Thank you guys, the audience, for interacting with Tactical Walls and Tactical Tim.
00:20:51.000 Great team over there.
00:20:52.000 Please keep this up.
00:20:53.000 Tactical Tim and the Tactical Team will customize anything you want to keep the family safe.
00:20:59.000 Please show the customized merchandise Tim has sent.
00:21:01.000 Tactical... The customized merchandise Tim has sent?
00:21:04.000 Well, we have the shelf.
00:21:05.000 We can't show that again.
00:21:07.000 Although the graphic is the shelf and of course we have our
00:21:10.000 He does.
00:21:36.000 Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders at tacticalwalls.com with promo code Gavin.
00:21:39.000 Hide anything you need with tacticalwalls.com, promo code Gavin.
00:21:43.000 Even if you need to hide your wife, hide your kids, because someone's trying to cash you outside, how about that?
00:21:48.000 The team at Tactical Walls will help keep your family safe.
00:21:52.000 I have a feeling that our copy writer is Chicago-based, whereas Tactical Walls is more Southern.
00:21:59.000 Tacticalwalls.com, promo code Gavin.
00:22:01.000 And then it says I'm Gavin McInnes again with a question mark.
00:22:03.000 I don't get that joke.
00:22:07.000 And then last time, TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin.
00:22:13.000 We've got some post-roll mention coming up here, where you're meant to go to BubbenHanks.com and buy some Wagyu ground beef for the Father's Day burgers.
00:22:22.000 Use promo code Gavin and get 20% off.
00:22:23.000 It's hard out here for a small business.
00:22:25.000 Support the West.
00:22:26.000 Wagyu beef in the business.
00:22:29.000 Don't be a whale's vagina.
00:22:30.000 I am Gavin McInnes.
00:22:31.000 Our ad guy is a good guy.
00:22:35.000 Hard-working dude.
00:22:37.000 He's also a very unusual gentleman.
00:22:40.000 Sure.
00:22:41.000 He brought us Wayne Dupree.
00:22:45.000 He says I am Gavin McInnes on a regular basis in the ad copy.
00:22:48.000 He's just now finally figured out not to write www dot.
00:22:54.000 Yeah, it took a little bit of a hint.
00:22:55.000 You do a good imitation of him.
00:22:58.000 Listen, I mean, you guys are our favorite.
00:23:01.000 You know, I mean, you know, we had the thing with the other guy.
00:23:04.000 I don't even want to mention his name, but dude, let me buy you a pizza, bro.
00:23:07.000 I mean, it's gonna be, like, he's actually Sebastian-esque.
00:23:10.000 Chicago is kind of a thing.
00:23:12.000 They got a thing.
00:23:12.000 He's got a Menescalco thing?
00:23:14.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
00:23:14.000 Yeah.
00:23:15.000 I was writing the ad copy and I was like, what are you doing?
00:23:21.000 That's what he sounds like on the phone.
00:23:23.000 Who writes a review?
00:23:25.000 W-W-Dah?
00:23:27.000 I go to a restaurant, I go, the tuna sucks, let's get out of here.
00:23:32.000 Who goes home and types out a fucking review?
00:23:34.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
00:23:40.000 The fucking voice crack gets me.
00:23:42.000 Look at this beautiful piece of artwork.
00:23:46.000 From GML Live number 88.
00:23:50.000 Season 14, episode 88.
00:23:52.000 JK.
00:23:55.000 Great story.
00:23:56.000 All right, should we take some calls?
00:23:58.000 Should we do this thing?
00:23:59.000 Oh, you already know.
00:24:01.000 Let's do this thing.
00:24:02.000 Rest in peace, shizmopping.
00:24:04.000 This is how we're going to keep it fun.
00:24:06.000 Anytime a call gets remotely boring, we're going to cut you off.
00:24:10.000 Unless it's chicks.
00:24:11.000 Yeah.
00:24:12.000 It's weird how many chicks listen to our show because I consider the show pretty sexist.
00:24:18.000 I mean, I did say on last episode that women should not have a voice.
00:24:25.000 That's pretty bad.
00:24:27.000 Well, I did support the Taliban.
00:24:31.000 That's pretty bad.
00:24:32.000 But I think the women who watch this show tend to be housewives, tend to be moms, and they know how much I revere them and how thankful I am that they made humans.
00:24:41.000 And I don't think a lot of people recognize that.
00:24:45.000 Like when I see a woman with a kid, I go, what the fuck?
00:24:49.000 You made that?
00:24:51.000 Thank you.
00:24:52.000 That's what chivalry is based on, by the way.
00:24:55.000 When you open the door for a woman or when you get up so she can sit down, it's saying, thanks for continuing the species.
00:25:00.000 You're incredible.
00:25:01.000 You're magic.
00:25:02.000 Your vagina made a human.
00:25:06.000 Which is why I'm going to start saying on the train before I get up.
00:25:09.000 Are you going to be having kids?
00:25:12.000 On the train?
00:25:13.000 What?
00:25:13.000 No, no, no, just.
00:25:14.000 No, ever.
00:25:16.000 Because I'm not, I want to get up, but if you're, if you're not ever having kids, or you're a lesbian or whatever, well then you're me.
00:25:25.000 And if you're me, then I'm just you.
00:25:28.000 I'm already here.
00:25:28.000 Who got here faster and got a chair, so I'm sitting down.
00:25:32.000 Don't worry, you're already here.
00:25:33.000 If you're a magical being who makes children,
00:25:37.000 By the way, you may have noticed my new shirt say GM.
00:25:41.000 That's so I know which ones are big enough for my new... I don't want to say fat neck.
00:25:45.000 I want to say ripped neck.
00:25:47.000 Yep.
00:25:48.000 I'm ripped now.
00:25:49.000 Oh, Ann Coulter just put this out.
00:25:51.000 Look at this.
00:25:52.000 This is in St.
00:25:53.000 Mark's.
00:25:53.000 I was just there, like, a few hours ago.
00:25:58.000 We have to start warning people.
00:25:59.000 Did you see that blood?
00:26:01.000 Nope.
00:26:02.000 I looked away.
00:26:04.000 And fuck you, bitch.
00:26:06.000 And what's the point of that?
00:26:09.000 What the hell is that?
00:26:10.000 What was that about?
00:26:10.000 There could be a million things.
00:26:12.000 Really?
00:26:12.000 Could it?
00:26:13.000 Of course.
00:26:14.000 It's not random.
00:26:14.000 I don't think it's random.
00:26:15.000 Yeah, it didn't look random.
00:26:16.000 It looks execution style.
00:26:17.000 It's like jealous.
00:26:18.000 She's seeing... We assume it's love.
00:26:20.000 It's always love or money, right?
00:26:23.000 So it could be that she got that girl's boyfriend.
00:26:27.000 They both seem like women.
00:26:28.000 Well, that is cold and heartless.
00:26:34.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 Well, what about the baby?
00:26:36.000 My, my son, my eight year old son goes, is it true a baby got shot?
00:26:40.000 Oh wow.
00:26:41.000 It's like, yeah.
00:26:42.000 Was that in New York City?
00:26:44.000 No, no, no.
00:26:45.000 I think South Carolina.
00:26:48.000 But we're gonna hear zero about that shit.
00:26:50.000 And we're gonna hear zero about Michaela and how she had been abandoned by everyone around her.
00:26:58.000 Totally abandoned, just like George Floyd.
00:27:00.000 The closer you get to the person, the less they care.
00:27:04.000 And the mother abandoned her and went to foster care.
00:27:07.000 That's why you see the mother doing these interviews where she's like, yeah, yeah, she's,
00:27:13.000 Well, she was named after like a kind of a African like warrior kind of a thing.
00:27:19.000 And very peaceful.
00:27:22.000 She was very peaceful.
00:27:24.000 And she was kind of motherly, if I recall.
00:27:26.000 I hadn't seen her in a while.
00:27:28.000 But yeah, motherly.
00:27:29.000 I thought she was really cool.
00:27:30.000 I thought she was pretty cool.
00:27:33.000 And then they cut to her aunt.
00:27:35.000 She was a woman of power and circumference.
00:27:41.000 She dictated her asquiescence on a regular basis to each and every one of us around her.
00:27:48.000 Okay.
00:27:51.000 Well, the mom abandoned her to foster care.
00:27:54.000 Why don't you scoop up the pieces?
00:27:58.000 Where were you?
00:28:00.000 And as I was saying on the show with Ann today,
00:28:04.000 It's particularly hard on a kid to be abandoned when you're poor and black because they don't really do that as much.
00:28:12.000 Of course the dads walk out, but as far as the cousins and the aunts and the grandparents, blacks and Hispanics tend to pick up the pieces and go, yeah, you can stay here.
00:28:21.000 The why of things.
00:28:23.000 I don't think rich whites do that.
00:28:25.000 I am a woman.
00:28:26.000 I am black.
00:28:29.000 So yeah, let's take some calls.
00:28:30.000 Okay, we got Vladimir.
00:28:34.000 Vladimir.
00:28:36.000 Hello.
00:28:37.000 Hello.
00:28:38.000 I want to make relations with you with my heels on.
00:28:44.000 Sounds good.
00:28:45.000 Let's do it.
00:28:48.000 Good.
00:28:49.000 I wondered what your opinion was.
00:28:52.000 I was talking with employee, fellow employee, and he was saying that
00:28:59.000 This following Tuesday is going to be rapture.
00:29:03.000 I say no.
00:29:04.000 I do not think this be so.
00:29:07.000 I was wondering your opinion on said rapture and if, you know, if that's like, you know, if you think a rapture is coming or whatever, I don't know.
00:29:20.000 There's not going to be a President Donald Trump.
00:29:23.000 Thanks for calling.
00:29:25.000 You can't break character, dude.
00:29:26.000 You gotta keep it 100%.
00:29:27.000 You gotta stay in character.
00:29:28.000 You gotta commit to the bit.
00:29:33.000 No, I don't think a rapture's coming.
00:29:35.000 There's not going to be a president.
00:29:37.000 There's not going to be a rapture.
00:29:39.000 We're not going to be defined by... Fear is not going to be a thing where we're not scared of people and women and equality and that's not going to be a thing.
00:30:05.000 There's not going to be a President Donald Trump.
00:30:11.000 What is this?
00:30:15.000 It's like an aw shucks thing.
00:30:16.000 Was it a 37 hour press conference, George?
00:30:20.000 I'm getting tired here at this 37 hour press conference.
00:30:28.000 Donald Trump will be president when pigs fly.
00:30:33.000 Next call.
00:30:35.000 We have Johnny and Kevin's Big Deek.
00:30:40.000 Did I read that right?
00:30:42.000 Yo.
00:30:43.000 Hey guys, how's it going?
00:30:44.000 Hey man.
00:30:47.000 No, it was actually Gavin's Big Deek.
00:30:49.000 You were telling a story the other day about your dad and how he's at the bar and he's got a giant meter that's like hanging out.
00:30:56.000 Big package, yeah, big package.
00:30:57.000 And it just kind of reminded me.
00:31:00.000 So there was this clip I sent it to you guys in the mailbag.
00:31:03.000 It's called Sebastian Bach.
00:31:05.000 I'm Phil Anselmo from Pantera, and he told a pretty funny story about Phil Anselmo's dick.
00:31:12.000 Maybe you guys want to check it out.
00:31:14.000 Anyway, thanks for taking the call.
00:31:15.000 All right, thanks for calling.
00:31:16.000 Let's check out Phil Anselmo, who is one of the funniest people I've ever met.
00:31:23.000 He talks about... What's his name from Corrosion of Conformity who he played with?
00:31:32.000 Pepper.
00:31:33.000 And he calls him Coke-stradamus, because when he gets high on Coke, he has all these wise predictions about the world, and they're not that wise.
00:31:42.000 And he lies a lot, Pepper does.
00:31:45.000 But Phil Anselmo's a fucking hilarious dude.
00:31:52.000 Speaking of upper thigh, Sebastian is known to be well hung.
00:31:56.000 Only because you were telling a really funny story on that at the Rainbow.
00:32:03.000 Like, you know, you're up there in the rock world.
00:32:06.000 Known to have a big one.
00:32:07.000 There's a guy from Pantera.
00:32:10.000 Tell a story.
00:32:11.000 Okay, okay.
00:32:13.000 Well, you guys know Phil Anfelmo from Pantera?
00:32:17.000 See, things were better back then.
00:32:19.000 Can you imagine that discussion on anything today?
00:32:24.000 Wasn't that MTV?
00:32:47.000 Um, no, that was, um, VH1 Classic.
00:32:49.000 That was that metal show.
00:32:51.000 What am I, ten?
00:32:51.000 VH1?
00:32:53.000 What am I, five years old?
00:32:54.000 What do I care about his dick?
00:32:55.000 What am I, gonna have fucking ketchup on my ride?
00:32:56.000 What is it, seven inches long?
00:32:58.000 Who cares?
00:33:00.000 How big is it, Phil?
00:33:01.000 Yeah, there was this dude, Mark Ryan.
00:33:02.000 It's not big.
00:33:03.000 You know, remember the girl I told you about where my friend was fucking her and there was a condom in her pussy that was not his?
00:33:12.000 And he pulls it out and he goes, there's a condom in your pussy.
00:33:13.000 And she goes, I know, that's bugged out, right?
00:33:17.000 Now that was, the whole story there was Puerto Ricans.
00:33:20.000 Yeah, totally.
00:33:21.000 And Trevor and Mark, in like 1999, they go, wait a minute.
00:33:26.000 There's all these Puerto Ricans everywhere.
00:33:28.000 No one knows them.
00:33:30.000 They only like blacks know them.
00:33:33.000 What about some white guys start like hitting on them?
00:33:36.000 And he goes great idea like the land of Z. They became explorers like Indiana Jones and they just started going up to Puerto Ricans.
00:33:44.000 Random white dudes.
00:33:46.000 Mark was from New Jersey and Trevor's from Florida.
00:33:49.000 And they were like, hi, what's going on?
00:33:51.000 My name's Trevor.
00:33:52.000 And they'd never spoken to a white guy before.
00:33:54.000 This is the thing about New York City.
00:33:56.000 Oh, it's a melting pot.
00:33:57.000 The beastie boys go, yo, we all get together on the subway.
00:34:01.000 Black, Dominican, Puerto Rican.
00:34:03.000 We're all best friends and we all hang out.
00:34:06.000 That's fucking complete horseshit.
00:34:08.000 It's different pieces of paper, different planes.
00:34:11.000 Hasidic Jews don't know any Puerto Ricans, even though they're their neighbors.
00:34:16.000 Don't know any middle-class whites.
00:34:18.000 Don't know any Jews.
00:34:19.000 Like, there's zero diversity.
00:34:22.000 There's no melting pot in New York.
00:34:25.000 Gays, everyone has their districts.
00:34:27.000 And if you're in an area where that other group isn't normally, it could be a fight.
00:34:32.000 It's a big deal.
00:34:33.000 What are you doing out of your territory?
00:34:38.000 So they are attractive, I'm not gonna lie.
00:34:44.000 So they started going up to Puerto Ricans and then Mark was fucking one and she had a condom in her pussy that was not his and then she said that's bugged out, right?
00:34:54.000 While chewing gum, she had big pigtails.
00:34:56.000 But the reason I bring up this concept of the Puerto Ricans
00:35:03.000 And going up to them is for a very, very important reason.
00:35:08.000 And I resent that a lot of subscribers right now are thinking I forgot why I brought up this subject.
00:35:15.000 And I gotta be honest.
00:35:16.000 I'm insulted.
00:35:17.000 That hurts.
00:35:18.000 Because I did remember.
00:35:19.000 And it was, I was at a bar with Mark and, see if you can look up Mark Ryan.
00:35:24.000 I wonder if anything comes up.
00:35:26.000 He was, he came with this brilliant graffiti name when he started doing graffiti.
00:35:30.000 You know what it was?
00:35:32.000 What?
00:35:33.000 Mark Ryan.
00:35:36.000 He wrote Mark Ryan as his graffiti name.
00:35:40.000 So people would see him.
00:35:41.000 No, that's not him.
00:35:42.000 Maybe like hardcore.
00:35:47.000 Anyway, we were at a bar once and he's known as a dude with an insanely big dick.
00:35:52.000 And I was like, I kind of have a big dick too.
00:35:55.000 Yeah, that's him with the hood up.
00:35:57.000 Oh really?
00:35:58.000 Yeah.
00:35:59.000 Oh shit.
00:36:00.000 Found him.
00:36:02.000 Minor threat part two?
00:36:04.000 So I pulled out my dick to blow his mind and then you know what he pulled out of his pants?
00:36:10.000 Just an arm.
00:36:11.000 A bowl of spaghetti.
00:36:13.000 Oh yeah, that's right, the spaghetti dick.
00:36:15.000 Spaghetti dick.
00:36:16.000 It just went on and on and on.
00:36:17.000 It looked like, you know when you're dealing with your motorcycle and you're trying to fix the indicators?
00:36:25.000 And you rip open the thing and you're like, it's my hazards every time.
00:36:30.000 I need my right indicator and my left indicator to be separate.
00:36:32.000 And then you look at the wires and you go, I can't fix this.
00:36:35.000 That's his dick.
00:36:38.000 He went to fucking L.A.
00:36:39.000 to become a porn star.
00:36:41.000 He got clean off his smack and he's like, I want to do something with my life.
00:36:45.000 And then someone goes, you have a big dick, you should become a porn star.
00:36:47.000 And he did.
00:36:49.000 He only gets blown by Italian broads.
00:36:52.000 He only gets blown by that African tribe where they have the nine discs on their necks.
00:37:00.000 One time this girl, Sarah Brania, the killer, killer Branilla, she called herself.
00:37:07.000 She was an employee at our store and she fired this dude with a man bun and she got slapped in the face hard, like an open handed slap.
00:37:19.000 So she called us crying.
00:37:20.000 It was actually Shane's girlfriend, the guy I started Vice with.
00:37:23.000 Or sorry, the guy I hired to do sales after I started Vice with Saroosh.
00:37:27.000 So we fucking zip down there in the car.
00:37:30.000 And as I'm in a taxi, as I'm running towards the taxi, I see Mark Ryan.
00:37:35.000 And he goes, yo, where you going?
00:37:38.000 His accent was fucking nuts.
00:37:41.000 And I go, is he there?
00:37:42.000 Any of those guys?
00:37:43.000 No, that's his crew, though.
00:37:44.000 That's the dude from Sick of It All, I believe.
00:37:49.000 And I was like, we gotta go kick the shit out of this dude who beat up a chick.
00:37:53.000 And he's like, yo, that's a blessing in disguise, yo.
00:37:57.000 I gotta come with you.
00:37:59.000 I'm like, okay, come on in.
00:38:00.000 And he goes, it was me, Shane, and now Mark Ryan.
00:38:03.000 He's like, yo, I was so fucking pissed off this morning, I wanted to fucking take someone out, and now you guys show up, it's like a sign from God, it's fucking, it's a blessing in disguise, yo.
00:38:17.000 Okay, let's go.
00:38:18.000 So we're going up to he had his parents got him an apartment on like Union Square 14th Street.
00:38:24.000 Yeah, that's him.
00:38:26.000 There he is fucking blessing in disguise.
00:38:29.000 And then we go.
00:38:32.000 We tell him who it is.
00:38:33.000 Man Bun, he works at the Vice store, we just, he got fired and he hit her.
00:38:37.000 And he goes, oh fuck, yo, I deal weed to that dude.
00:38:43.000 He could rat me out, I could be in serious, I gotta get out.
00:38:47.000 So he gets out.
00:38:48.000 All right, bye Mark.
00:38:49.000 And then we went to that guy's house and we tell the doorman, he lives in a nice building.
00:38:54.000 Hi, we're here to talk about what happened with Sarah.
00:38:56.000 And he goes, oh yeah, I'll come down.
00:38:58.000 So he comes down and he says, yo, no, sorry, he's not Mark Ryan.
00:39:06.000 He's a normal guy.
00:39:07.000 And he goes, hey man, yeah, look.
00:39:09.000 Sarah's a total fucking bitch and you know how hard she can be to deal with and I just, you know, I had enough of her shit.
00:39:17.000 Like I was gonna go, cool man, fucking cunts, slap em.
00:39:22.000 Fucking with this all the time, yapping and yapping, fucking get to slapping.
00:39:28.000 So he starts explaining it like it's a thing that we're gonna agree with.
00:39:34.000 And Shane wasn't doing anything, so as he's talking I just went,
00:39:40.000 And I head-butted him.
00:39:43.000 And he did an amazing thing, by the way.
00:39:46.000 He defied physics.
00:39:47.000 So I went, I'll do slow motion for you.
00:39:49.000 So he fell back, and then right before he hit his head, he rotated.
00:39:52.000 Rotated.
00:39:53.000 And then took off.
00:39:54.000 And then took off.
00:39:54.000 His head never hit the ground.
00:39:55.000 He went like brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
00:40:08.000 So I thought I might have a chance chasing him, but he was way too fast.
00:40:13.000 Young man with a little man bun.
00:40:14.000 And I was like, all right, he's gone.
00:40:17.000 Shane chased him, but Shane had flip-flops on, which is why, part of the reason I'm so against flip-flops to this day.
00:40:22.000 So he's slappy, slappy, slappy, slappy.
00:40:24.000 He's not going anywhere.
00:40:25.000 He was fat, too.
00:40:27.000 And Mark Ryan runs and runs, and he jumps into a police car.
00:40:30.000 No, sorry, not Mark Ryan, the bun head.
00:40:33.000 He jumps into a police car, and he says, help, help, help.
00:40:37.000 So we catch up to the police car, we explain the story, they arrest him, and then he gets out and he charges me with assault.
00:40:44.000 Wow.
00:40:45.000 But it was like four days later, he got the date wrong on his complaint, so I ended up, look up Barney Miller.
00:40:53.000 I end up going to a precinct on like 45th, and now when I talk to ex-cons who have done 10 years, just like I'm a war movie vet, I'm an ex-con.
00:41:04.000 Because I had to sit in that fucking rotten, stinking jail cell for four hours while they figured out the typo in the guy's report and ended up letting me go.
00:41:15.000 Four hours.
00:41:16.000 I did my time, man.
00:41:18.000 No, look up video.
00:41:20.000 Because I think the cops knew I was a totally dope bro.
00:41:24.000 And they didn't put me in the cages with the animal Puerto Ricans like Ryan.
00:41:30.000 I was upstairs!
00:41:32.000 With these guys!
00:41:36.000 In the cell!
00:41:38.000 You see, this show has a holding cell in it, right?
00:41:43.000 And that's where I was.
00:41:44.000 I was literally hanging with my hands out of the cell just like Bernie Miller, listening to them shoot the shit.
00:41:49.000 And by the way, detectives, their quality of jokes, that was me, their quality of jokes are fucking very high standard.
00:41:58.000 It's like bands.
00:41:59.000 Bands on tour, they've been touring so much that they riff with each other and they get better and better and better at jokes.
00:42:05.000 Detectives and cops, very high quality jokes.
00:42:08.000 So that was me.
00:42:10.000 They have one brain, basically.
00:42:11.000 Like, they share the same brain when it comes to the riffs.
00:42:17.000 Nope.
00:42:17.000 That's not what I'm saying at all.
00:42:19.000 But they do.
00:42:21.000 No, they don't.
00:42:22.000 They're just good at riffing, because they practice.
00:42:25.000 Practice makes perfect.
00:42:29.000 I told you the joke, right?
00:42:30.000 I've said this on the show a hundred times.
00:42:32.000 Some big-titted, gorgeous blonde comes in to go, I need your N4 papers, guys.
00:42:36.000 We have a deal.
00:42:38.000 And they go, oh wait, sorry, sorry, sorry, we're on it, we're on it.
00:42:41.000 And then after she leaves, they go, hey, if this is affirmative action, I'm all for it.
00:42:46.000 Look at that fucking piece of ass.
00:42:47.000 That was amazing.
00:42:48.000 And I'm just like, one of the guys.
00:42:51.000 Is that Mark Ryan?
00:42:54.000 Super Touch.
00:42:55.000 That's the name of the band.
00:42:59.000 This guy's dick would kill you.
00:43:01.000 If you put a camera in his urethra, he could give you a colonoscopy.
00:43:08.000 That's not him.
00:43:09.000 That's him.
00:43:10.000 There he is.
00:43:13.000 That's the blessing in disguise, yo!
00:43:17.000 I think of things that mess me up when I'm singing.
00:43:22.000 You know, and what to do.
00:43:30.000 Great kid.
00:43:31.000 Great guy.
00:43:31.000 Alright, let's take a call.
00:43:36.000 It's a blessing in disguise, yo.
00:43:39.000 And then the way we remember things, maybe if you play back the tape, he'd go, this is a blessing in disguise, I have to say, because I'm feeling violent today and I'm thrilled that you're going to beat someone up.
00:43:50.000 I'd like to partake.
00:43:51.000 I wouldn't mind indulging in a bit of the threshing.
00:43:56.000 It is, if you will, a blessing in disguise, quote unquote, yo.
00:44:03.000 And then she was like, that's bugged out, huh?
00:44:06.000 Yes.
00:44:07.000 Yeah, the chick that he was fucking.
00:44:08.000 Well, that's bugged out, huh?
00:44:09.000 Oh my gosh!
00:44:10.000 I had a condom in my vagina that's not yours?
00:44:12.000 Well, I have to be frank.
00:44:13.000 That is bugged out.
00:44:17.000 Mark, you're on the line.
00:44:21.000 Hey, I don't know if you've heard about the price of lumber and how it's going through the roof.
00:44:26.000 Oh my god, it's insane!
00:44:28.000 I'm working on a real estate thing and the contractor will not give me a quote because it's different every 10 days.
00:44:37.000 So he goes, I'll tell you within 10 days of the project what it is.
00:44:43.000 Yeah, I was looking online somewhere and I saw somebody say, like, they just need to step in and freeze the price.
00:44:50.000 Like, you know, like, the forces that be can just come in and snap their fingers and freeze the price on something like that complex, like lumber production.
00:45:00.000 But there's an essay called iPencil.
00:45:02.000 I don't know if you've... Oh yeah, we've talked about it many times.
00:45:05.000 It's a fantastic... Yeah.
00:45:07.000 It proves the existence of God.
00:45:11.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:45:12.000 The atheist argument for the existence of God, you know, yeah, that's a great episode of yours, podcast, from a long time ago.
00:45:21.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:45:22.000 And they just think like, oh, well, somebody could come in, snap their fingers, freeze the price of lumber, and that's going to make everything fine and dandy, and it's literally impossible.
00:45:31.000 And an essay like that proves it.
00:45:34.000 It's a great video, too.
00:45:35.000 There's a great video, iPencil.
00:45:36.000 Do you think one of the reasons that lumber is going through the roof is because of all this fucking plywood needed to hold back rioters?
00:45:45.000 Is that dumb?
00:45:45.000 I don't know.
00:45:48.000 That's brilliant.
00:45:48.000 I never even thought of that before.
00:45:51.000 Yeah, who knows?
00:45:52.000 I thought it was mostly because of the housing boom and, you know, the fact that it's a resource and it actually serves a purpose unlike Dogecoin or, you know, Bitcoin.
00:46:00.000 Easy.
00:46:00.000 Right, all the other bullshit.
00:46:02.000 All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
00:46:04.000 Yeah, that's, I don't, is this iPencil?
00:46:07.000 Yeah, well, yeah, iPencil the movie, 2012.
00:46:09.000 It's from the account iPencil.
00:46:13.000 Jump ahead, I remember being way higher quality than that.
00:46:15.000 iPencil.org movie.
00:46:19.000 Jump in the middle.
00:46:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:21.000 I think that's it.
00:46:22.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:46:23.000 This is the misremembering thing again.
00:46:24.000 Misremembering?
00:46:25.000 You romanticized it.
00:46:26.000 Is there a part where they go, ahhh, trudge rally fish!
00:46:29.000 They do.
00:46:30.000 Yo, pencils are bugged out, right?
00:46:33.000 Yeah.
00:46:34.000 Also, my job is to make stories entertaining.
00:46:37.000 True.
00:46:38.000 Oh yeah, this is the right one.
00:46:40.000 So I naturally, you know, embellish and make things more colorful.
00:46:45.000 And then I see what I'm embellishing and go, this sucks.
00:46:50.000 And how do you remember the Louis C.K.
00:46:51.000 bit again?
00:46:53.000 Oh my god, I hate Barbara.
00:46:56.000 Shut up, Janet.
00:47:00.000 I'm still not even admitting that to myself.
00:47:01.000 I know.
00:47:02.000 I still think there's another one that you don't have.
00:47:04.000 Yeah, no, me too.
00:47:05.000 No, it was like, Barbara, she's a bitch!
00:47:08.000 You know who holds up when you do the impression?
00:47:10.000 Mitch Hedberg.
00:47:11.000 Man, I went to the doctor to get my neck checked out.
00:47:14.000 All he did was make my neck hurt.
00:47:15.000 Do not go see Dr. Acula.
00:47:18.000 That is verbatim.
00:47:20.000 I think I'm underselling it.
00:47:21.000 How about my 8-year-old son doing Mitch Hedberg?
00:47:24.000 What is Elmo?
00:47:26.000 I do not know what he is.
00:47:28.000 Is he a monkey?
00:47:30.000 Or is he a dog?
00:47:31.000 Yeah.
00:47:32.000 Or is he a dog?
00:47:34.000 I did not know that ducks eat for free at Subway.
00:47:38.000 Hey man, here comes that Elmo.
00:47:42.000 Gonna hang out with me.
00:47:44.000 He had brutal stage fright.
00:47:46.000 That's why he did so much heroin.
00:47:47.000 Oh.
00:47:48.000 Cause it's the only way he could get over his nerves.
00:47:50.000 Then his girlfriend really helped him out with that and killed him.
00:47:53.000 And then she's still on Twitter talking shit to other comedians.
00:47:57.000 And I was banned after saying, uh, didn't you kill Mitch Hedberg?
00:48:01.000 That's bugged out.
00:48:02.000 What's Jeremy Hotz's excuse for being the way he is?
00:48:05.000 Who's Jeremy Hotz?
00:48:06.000 Remember this guy?
00:48:09.000 I'm from Canada!
00:48:11.000 Oh, he's like a fake crazy guy?
00:48:19.000 They look like us!
00:48:20.000 That's the end of it right there!
00:48:22.000 They're not like us at all!
00:48:24.000 They're morons!
00:48:27.000 All across the streets.
00:48:28.000 They're even crazier.
00:48:30.000 I was in Texas.
00:48:32.000 He's from Canada.
00:48:32.000 He's saying the difference between Canadians and Americans.
00:48:34.000 I hate fake crazy guys.
00:48:36.000 I hate fake anyone.
00:48:38.000 Bobcat Goldthwaite, right?
00:48:40.000 Oh, that was grim.
00:48:41.000 What do you think about Kinnison, though?
00:48:42.000 Because he kind of had an act.
00:48:44.000 Yeah, that was kind of different.
00:48:46.000 He was just screaming more than he would normally scream.
00:48:49.000 But he wasn't like, I'm a crazy guy.
00:48:52.000 Like, Sebastian Maniscalco doesn't talk like that when he orders fish.
00:48:57.000 But it's still him.
00:48:58.000 Right, right.
00:48:59.000 It's not like a full-blown I have a different voice.
00:49:02.000 Yeah that's why like the Tucker Carlson and Alex Jones I get away with in court they go no one in their right mind would listen to this person seriously and people take that court document literally and go oh you're full of shit but what they're really saying is
00:49:19.000 You wouldn't take this show that you're watching now as do-do-do-do-do-do breaking news.
00:49:25.000 So I can say shit like, shouldn't you just kill someone?
00:49:29.000 Like when you watch my 160 pound, my 650 pound life, like just kill them, right?
00:49:36.000 In the sense that...
00:49:37.000 So, I don't literally mean you should get a straight razor, go up to a 650-pound person and slit their throat.
00:49:44.000 I swear to God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get my hands around you.
00:49:47.000 But I am saying something that I believe, and that you believe, where when you watch that show, you're like, shouldn't you just die?
00:49:54.000 That's true.
00:49:55.000 All right, let's take a call.
00:49:58.000 Got Jake.
00:50:00.000 Jake, you're on the line.
00:50:03.000 What's up, Jack?
00:50:04.000 Hold on one second.
00:50:06.000 Oh!
00:50:07.000 Can you hear me?
00:50:08.000 Yes.
00:50:11.000 Okay, so first of all, I just was curious, I just recently found that you had an app, which I was really surprised that you had an app that was allowed on the App Store, but I downloaded it, and I was expecting, I was going to listen to your, to the live stream here, and there was nothing, there was no sort of icon or anything that indicated that there was a live stream, so I didn't see any way that you could stream from that.
00:50:38.000 Also, I just was curious, I really enjoy your compound censored shows and I've seen that it hasn't been on today.
00:50:47.000 Is it going to come on at some point?
00:50:50.000 You sound like you're fucking with me and this is some sort of prank where you're going to mention Jews.
00:50:58.000 Those fucking Jews, man!
00:51:00.000 I knew it.
00:51:01.000 Called it!
00:51:01.000 You called it.
00:51:03.000 No, the live show with Anthony is 5 to 6 p.m.
00:51:08.000 every Wednesday and then this show is live 9 to 10 p.m.
00:51:12.000 every Wednesday and then the rest of the shows are on at 8.
00:51:17.000 So you should have got a notification
00:51:20.000 A very difficult notification.
00:51:21.000 Yeah, the notifications for the app.
00:51:23.000 But if you're on the desktop, you'll see a banner that says you're live.
00:51:25.000 But that's the sketch.
00:51:26.000 And yeah, the Anthony and Gavin will be uploaded after the show.
00:51:31.000 But thanks for calling and welcome to Censored.TV.
00:51:35.000 Did you get a weird vibe from that guy who was like trying to fuck with me?
00:51:38.000 No.
00:51:40.000 But you know what?
00:51:43.000 From the hang on a second thing.
00:51:45.000 Yeah, maybe.
00:51:46.000 It's like that scene, what are you trying to alpha?
00:51:47.000 Oh my gosh, it didn't happen!
00:51:49.000 Right, yeah, yeah.
00:51:51.000 Let's see.
00:51:52.000 Black couple literally acts like they own the place.
00:51:54.000 8-5-0, you're on the line.
00:52:01.000 Hey, what's going on, Gavin?
00:52:01.000 Go ahead, 8-5-0.
00:52:02.000 Hey, man.
00:52:05.000 Hey, so I sent you guys the link.
00:52:07.000 Remember that guy, I don't know who it was, the black guy that was like, the one thing about white people is they walk in, they always act like they own the place.
00:52:14.000 Taneshi Coates.
00:52:15.000 No, that's the exact opposite.
00:52:18.000 But I sent you the link.
00:52:19.000 There's this black couple that went down in Florida and they literally were acting like they were going to buy this $7 million mansion.
00:52:27.000 And you've got to look up the Daily Mail fucking article on it because they end up planning their wedding and trying to have their wedding in, I guess it was the IHOP heir's mansion, but he's just not there a lot of the time and it was on the market.
00:52:46.000 Talk about black privilege.
00:52:49.000 So people just started showing up?
00:52:52.000 I was like, if this was like some scraggly looking white couple, they would have just like been taken down by a SWAT team immediately.
00:53:00.000 But they were like, I guess the guy, the guy was home on the day they were gonna, they showed up to have the wedding.
00:53:06.000 And they were like, Oh, this is God's plan.
00:53:08.000 You just need to let it happen.
00:53:09.000 This is God's plan.
00:53:10.000 And he's like, they have the 911 call and the IHOP airs like, I don't know what's happening.
00:53:14.000 I just want it to stop.
00:53:18.000 God, she's ugly.
00:53:19.000 What the?
00:53:20.000 She looks like a... I think she's a 1.9.
00:53:23.000 Are they black Hebrew Israelites?
00:53:26.000 Yeah, maybe.
00:53:27.000 That is... Alright, thanks for calling, buddy.
00:53:29.000 Let's hear the 911 call.
00:53:32.000 Alrighty.
00:53:33.000 No, no, I think it's there.
00:53:34.000 Yeah, no, I just had to hang up on him.
00:53:36.000 Here we go.
00:53:44.000 Emergency?
00:53:45.000 Southwest branches.
00:53:46.000 I have people trespassing on my property, and they keep harassing me, calling me, and they say they're having a wedding here, and it's God's message, and I don't know what's going on.
00:54:00.000 All I want is to stop.
00:54:06.000 By the way, I got these shoes today from Clark's on Madison Avenue.
00:54:12.000 I know I might be a little young, I mean old, for white soles like these.
00:54:15.000 Clark's is going under that particular branch and these were 70% off.
00:54:19.000 Wow.
00:54:19.000 They cost me $55.
00:54:21.000 They're $150 shoes.
00:54:26.000 So I was very happy about that.
00:54:27.000 I mean, I got the numbers slightly off, but you get the idea.
00:54:29.000 And the socks were all $6.
00:54:33.000 But everyone was white there, obviously.
00:54:35.000 It's the Clark store.
00:54:37.000 And speaking of walking in like you own the place, it was just so many apologies.
00:54:43.000 Like, hey, I'm sorry, can I get these in 10 and a half?
00:54:48.000 And then she gets them, and I go,
00:54:51.000 Actually, these are fitting kind of like, can I try a 10?
00:54:53.000 Can I?
00:54:54.000 I'm sorry, because she already got me a pair.
00:54:56.000 And then she goes, no, don't apologize.
00:54:58.000 She just finished saying to this old lady who was asking for something, who had said, I'm sorry, can I?
00:55:02.000 And she just said, don't apologize to her.
00:55:05.000 So within 30 seconds, this woman who works there said, don't apologize twice.
00:55:09.000 Don't apologize.
00:55:11.000 I'm sorry.
00:55:13.000 Fuck you, Janet.
00:55:14.000 I'm the worst.
00:55:15.000 Is there a hole here I could just dive into?
00:55:18.000 Because I'm Satan.
00:55:20.000 I'm Satan's balls.
00:55:20.000 I'm actually sorry I didn't read your mind and know that it didn't fit properly.
00:55:24.000 I wish my parents never met.
00:55:26.000 I don't know why I'm asking for shoes at a shoe store.
00:55:28.000 I feel terrible.
00:55:30.000 You guys are trying to close up.
00:55:32.000 What kind of shit stain?
00:55:34.000 Ooh, those are interesting, kind of a corduroy vibe.
00:55:37.000 Those are fun.
00:55:39.000 A big Desert Boots fan, the problem is the aging.
00:55:42.000 And they, it doesn't matter that they get beaten up when you're wearing jeans, but if you're wearing a suit with Desert Boots, they really have to be a week old.
00:55:50.000 I have that exact pair, and I've broken them in too much, and I can't wear them with a suit anymore.
00:55:55.000 They look great with jeans, though.
00:55:57.000 They look so fucking... Damn!
00:55:59.000 Yeah, when you turned me on to those, I was like, I didn't understand the elegant simplicity of them all.
00:56:04.000 Piping hot.
00:56:04.000 You know how they were discovered?
00:56:06.000 Oh yeah, I like the story.
00:56:06.000 Some British guy was in Egypt, and he noticed that they, to get sand out of their feet, they wore these things that didn't really have an opening till the very bottom.
00:56:15.000 And then the very top.
00:56:15.000 The crepe sole, did he get that from them too?
00:56:17.000 Or he, that's his spin on it.
00:56:19.000 Yeah, I love that story.
00:56:20.000 I know, that's bugged out, right?
00:56:22.000 That's bugged out, isn't it?
00:56:25.000 Uh, Bill.
00:56:28.000 Count to one.
00:56:30.000 I am beyond angry.
00:56:32.000 I am beyond angry.
00:56:34.000 I am beyond angry.
00:56:38.000 Dude.
00:56:38.000 Yes.
00:56:39.000 Prize pack.
00:56:41.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:42.000 I got to hook it up now.
00:56:43.000 I got the two folks' numbers already, sir.
00:56:45.000 I'm sorry.
00:56:45.000 Oh, all right.
00:56:46.000 OK, OK.
00:56:48.000 Look, I think we're going to reach Blazing Saddle's level of policing due to this verdict.
00:56:57.000 Meaning no one's going to want to be caught.
00:57:00.000 And people are just not going to want to leave the job.
00:57:03.000 Nope.
00:57:04.000 And who's going to suffer?
00:57:05.000 I'm not going to suffer.
00:57:06.000 I'm in an all white suburb where the biggest crime is someone stole chapstick three months ago.
00:57:12.000 It's going to be the hood.
00:57:13.000 It's going to be black neighborhoods.
00:57:16.000 They're going to see unprecedented deaths.
00:57:18.000 Okay.
00:57:20.000 I found out about them.
00:57:21.000 Sorry, I have cut you off.
00:57:22.000 I found out about the verdict through, believe it or not, local conservative radio.
00:57:27.000 And within 10 seconds of them giving their
00:57:31.000 Take on the whole thing.
00:57:32.000 They were talking January 6th, and oh, if those were black, they would have all been mowed down with fucking AK-47s.
00:57:39.000 And I'm thinking, what the fuck?
00:57:41.000 Okay.
00:57:42.000 So here's my argument to all of the retards, including conservatives who say this shit.
00:57:47.000 Where was the white outrage?
00:57:49.000 Where were the riots?
00:57:50.000 Where was the, who stormed the Minnesota and Minneapolis court?
00:57:58.000 You know, with all of the rioting and shit, where were all the white supremacists?
00:58:02.000 Where are they?
00:58:03.000 Yeah.
00:58:03.000 Who's outraged over this verdict?
00:58:05.000 They had a rally in California, nothing to do with Derek Chauvin, called White Lives Matter.
00:58:12.000 About 30 people showed up.
00:58:14.000 That's the movement we keep hearing about all day, every day.
00:58:19.000 That's all cops.
00:58:20.000 Everyone's a Nazi.
00:58:21.000 It's fucking boring.
00:58:24.000 And it's not a thing.
00:58:26.000 Please stop.
00:58:27.000 And when Republicans and conservatives capitulate like that, and they want to kiss the ass of the far left, did it work out for Nike, where they spent $10 million on BLM and still got looted?
00:58:39.000 Did it work out for a Foot Locker, for Walmart, for Starbucks?
00:58:44.000 It doesn't.
00:58:45.000 Capitulation is giving a vampire a shot of blood and saying, will you leave my family alone now?
00:58:52.000 No, you showed him where to get the blood from.
00:58:57.000 It's almost like a backhanded way and a dishonest way of pulling a Greg Gutfeld and saying, well, you know, I really wanted him to burn in hell and he needs to rot in jail forever because, uh, I mean, come on, just fucking be honest with your, with your people who are listening because no one believes that shit.
00:59:15.000 Well, plenty of people believe that shit, my friend.
00:59:19.000 Plenty of people, especially conservatives, think Derek Chauvin is innocent, and they're right, he is innocent.
00:59:26.000 Know he's innocent, I should say, and are happy he's behind bars because they think it has calmed the coyotes.
00:59:37.000 I brought that up the other day as a crazy theory, a crazy concept, but it's pretty common.
00:59:43.000 Cutfeld said that and he's in shit for it.
00:59:46.000 He's not just shit.
00:59:52.000 They're just empowering these morons to believe that they don't have to they don't have to follow no one's even talked about the video where the chick got the stabbing bit stabber got shot when cops showed up that dude was kicking that white chick in the head like nobody's even talking about that little minor detail people are just doing rampant crime it all started when they were just
01:00:11.000 Throwing water on cops in New York City and shitting on cops and it all just been steamrolling and boiling over since then.
01:00:18.000 Precisely.
01:00:19.000 Precisely.
01:00:20.000 This is all about the death and law and order and I have a radical theory where I don't think blacks like when you kiss their ass and say Black Lives Matter and all that stuff.
01:00:29.000 I think that black culture is similar to Palestinian culture wherein they kind of appreciate when you get tough.
01:00:37.000 I believe that Palestinians like the wall in Israel and they see it as a show of force and they respect it.
01:00:43.000 And I think when you're strict, like when Giuliani came into New York and he said, if you jump the turnstile, you're going to jail, all this shit.
01:00:49.000 I think blacks in New York appreciated it because it was a show of strength.
01:00:54.000 It's sort of like the jihadists when they kidnap white people and then the white people convert to Islam.
01:01:01.000 The jihadists don't like that.
01:01:03.000 They just go, Oh, you're a pussy.
01:01:04.000 I'm going to kill you first.
01:01:08.000 All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
01:01:12.000 That was mean.
01:01:13.000 It's always so mean.
01:01:14.000 That's life, though.
01:01:15.000 Yep.
01:01:16.000 Fade away.
01:01:16.000 That's the end of our live show.
01:01:18.000 We missed our friend's last point because we're jerks.
01:01:21.000 Or as my youngest boy would say, jokes.
01:01:23.000 Actually, he doesn't say jokes anymore.
01:01:25.000 He pitched for the first time in his life today.
01:01:27.000 Wow.
01:01:28.000 And he got three strikeouts.
01:01:30.000 That's great.
01:01:31.000 Yep.
01:01:32.000 And it's far for eight-year-olds to pitch.
01:01:36.000 It's 40 feet.
01:01:38.000 I'd like to see you throw a bunch of strikes at 40 feet.
01:01:40.000 I probably cannot.
01:01:42.000 I couldn't even bowl a strike.
01:01:46.000 He was nervous and then my other boy was saying just throw it throw it throw it then he would get freaked out and throw it but that sketched out the batter because he would see a guy going and then all of a sudden whoosh.
01:01:57.000 Nice.
01:01:59.000 So, that's an optimistic look at everything.
01:02:03.000 Here we are, folks, still fighting the ridiculous clown fight in Clown World, and the right, I'm sorry, the left is in the driving seat right now, and they are swerving all over the road, knocking over pylons, and we have no choice but to laugh.
01:02:20.000 This is their world.
01:02:21.000 Don't get hung up on it.
01:02:24.000 Don't get depressed.
01:02:26.000 Enjoy it.
01:02:27.000 There's ebbs and flows to society.
01:02:30.000 This is reparable.
01:02:32.000 We will bounce back from this, but right now, the kids have the keys to the station wagon, and they are in the wrong lane.
01:02:41.000 So if we don't die, we can have a good laugh at how fucked up this is, because it is beyond fucked up.
01:02:50.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.