In this episode, the boys talk about a man who thinks he can make sausages out of a colostomy bag, Michael B. Jordan's fallatio skills, and why the CIA is trying to start a war with Russia.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:02:31.000collection you can beautifully display in your mudroom with all your stuff uh we'd like to welcome tactical walls they built this wonderful thing that we regularly have a statue of ryan and i as war movie vets which i resent ryan being next to me on because i don't see him as a war movie vet i've seen plenty um but if you go to tacticalwalls.com right now all of my listeners get 20 off their entire order at tacticalwalls.com with promo code gavin go to tacticalwalls.com and
00:03:01.000customize your home defense system with tactical tim and the tactical team and keep your entire family safe tacticalwalls.com promo code gavin and that graphic in the corner is the shelf they made me which i guess i'm giving away what no i don't mean for free i mean as far as the secret goes oh yeah yeah so like when the fbi comes to my my house they go uh we're just gonna slide this over here and
00:06:29.000pushes out like if you know those play-doh sites where uh sets, sorry, where you push down and they grow hair and you can cut their hair.
00:09:33.000So in this movie, the CIA is starting a war by attacking Michael B. Jordan, among others, with Russian agents.
00:09:46.000And then the Americans are attacking random Russian people, trying to start the First World War type of scenario where the dude with the mustache was the catalyst to start a world war.
00:10:15.000And there's this really irritating scene where Michael B. Jordan and this short-haired lesbian-looking, I don't know, lieutenant woman, she's sitting there and he says, they kill his wife and kid, of course.
00:10:29.000He goes, we work for a country that hated us because we knew what it could become.
00:11:01.000And then, so they go to Russia to, like, I don't know, get revenge on the people who killed his wife, which is actually doing exactly what the CIA wanted you to do, so that was stupid.
00:11:11.000But then they're on the lamb in Russia, because they get shot down, as you can just see right there.
00:11:16.000So it's like this military cabal wandering around Russia, right?
00:11:24.000And three of them are, two of them are black.
00:16:04.000But there's a Canelo fight this Saturday that will be a great fight.
00:16:07.000I fought this guy today who was a fly.
00:16:12.000He's a featherweight, and obviously I'm not even remotely close to his league, but he fights old men like me to see if he can go three rounds without getting hit once.
00:17:57.000Shout out to Johnny Apple CBD, our oldest sponsor, our most reliable sponsor.
00:18:03.000These guys, when you see a sponsor sticking around us for a long time, know that they are harassed by Antifa and Karens and the DNC and Media Matters and Sleeping Giants and all these lunatic cancel groups.
00:18:16.000And they just say, sorry, not interested.
00:18:18.000They got the gummies to take the edge off.
00:21:46.000Like, your job as an academic, as a teacher, as an associate professor, is to help people think.
00:21:52.000And you should start with like the, whatever it is, the five logical fallacies, like straw man, argument, ad hominem, guilt by association, all those basics.
00:23:33.000When it's on and at a bar, I'll check it out, sort of, not really watching it.
00:23:37.000But if there was a huge lecture on the NFL and concussions and the future of the Philadelphia Eagles, I'd just be like, wish you guys nothing but the best.
00:24:25.000I mean, maybe if it's a plague and it's indicative of something, like you found out they're using rat meat, which my friend Tim told me he came across.
00:24:37.000He was getting Chinese food in Brooklyn about 20 years ago.
00:26:31.000So he said, no, I'm not giving it back to you.
00:26:34.000And then he never did anything about it.
00:26:35.000And then he said to me, I go, I contacted him about like three days later and I go, I'm still having nightmares every night, covered in sweat, having to get up and like have a shower from what you told me about those fucking ribs.
00:26:49.000And he goes, oh, I mean, it's basically the same meat.
00:27:20.000I actually fucked him at a party once.
00:27:24.000I don't want to call him benign because that sounds insulting, but he's not controversial at all.
00:27:31.000In fact, if it was 2004, he'd definitely be known as a liberal.
00:27:36.000I think he was known as a liberal in 2004.
00:27:38.000He just dared not to get on the woke train.
00:27:40.000I had an argument with my friend Leslie, and she's like, you're the only friend of ours from back then who hasn't evolved, who hasn't progressed.
00:30:04.000If my stupid dog, Leroy, and Leroy, if you're watching right now, if you bite any of my children without a second thought, with my heart rate not even increasing, I will take you outside.
00:32:53.000But I was looking at pictures of Hedonism 2, where guys have the local Jamaicans fuck their wives at a resort and then take pictures of it.
00:34:11.000We're talking about free speech on campus and how bringing a conservative on campus has resulted in some flack and some backlash from some of the students.
00:34:20.000And talking about sharing multiple ideas and kind of hearing both sides and engaging in free speech and dialogue on campus and how important that is.
00:37:45.000I hope one of your parents is American, because if we're giving visas to foreigners to teach our kids and they don't even know that there's not a difference between free speech and hate speech, sorry.
00:37:58.000Free speech is not to argue the Beatles versus the Stones.
00:38:02.000Free speech, much to my chagrin, includes NAMBLA.
00:38:08.000Free speech includes arguing with people who want to fuck kids.
00:38:50.000But when things get uncomfortable, like should we defund the police, you'll notice, by the way, the hate speech is fine when It's anti-cop, anti-white, anti-Western, anti-American.
00:39:04.000No one has a problem on campus with burning the flag.
00:41:52.000I was, you know, with your co-host of Compound Uncensored, I was just watching Opie and Anthony where they go through all the Maury things.
00:42:19.000If you don't like it, don't go to the show.
00:42:20.000You're an asshole if you go to a marshmallow phobe's home or you follow them down the street or you tell Gary to button his fucking shirt up.
00:42:29.000Have you seen Gary walking around these days?
00:42:31.000I know Gary's whole thing is no shirt.
00:43:49.000And the protester is saying that's exactly what I'm doing, and she's saying that's exactly what her sign means.
00:43:53.000So that means that you, a faculty member at an American public university, paid for by taxpayer dollars, are conflating speech with violence.
00:44:56.000The systemic racism thing is this big bowl of soup where if you throw like one lentil into it, you're part of the systemic stew that gets George Floyd killed.
00:45:09.000Michael Knowles is exactly on par with Barack Obama in 2004, the Clintons in 2004.
00:45:17.000He is, and I'm not disparaging him here, a normal liberal from 15 years ago.
00:45:24.000But today, to be a 2004 Barack Obama is to be a fucking racist murderer.
00:50:29.000Deanna Craig, in the year 1987, she was jerking me off.
00:50:37.000And with a foreskin, you have to hold it in the exact right spot.
00:50:43.000If you hold it too high, when you go down, you rip the fresnellum, which is like, take a t-shirt, pull this part of the t-shirt, and put it in your mouth.
00:51:49.000And I fixed my own foreskin by being very careful and giving it like six months, which is not a long time when you're 16, you're not getting pussy very much.
00:52:00.000Anyway, Jordan Peterson is a crybaby, but if you can get through the fact that he's crying publicly like this, and I know I cried the other day about my dead grandmother, but this is different because it's not me.
00:54:17.000And I got to tell you, these little notes you write to Max and John and now Joe and Mercedes, Melinda, I can't tell you how much it means to them.
00:54:26.000I haven't talked to Joe in a while, but Max and John and Melinda, they go, like, you feel like you're on a satellite.
00:54:39.000It doesn't have to be a 50-page essay, but you get a little note and it goes like, hey man, and make it as irrelevant as possible is my advice.
00:54:49.000Whenever I wrote Tommy Robinson when he was in prison, I would talk about chips or like the story I just told you with my son fighting his best friend.
00:56:02.000I was just at a restaurant and this fat lady, not even that fat, like my ex-girlfriend's size, you don't want to come across as like a guy who hates fat chicks.
00:56:10.000She had this fucking rap that was that loud, literally that loud.
00:56:20.000The waiter, and I was looking at the guy next to me at the bar and he looks back at me and I was like, and then he just goes, I was like, am I in some sort of fart zombie movie?
00:57:23.000And you'd think that there was just nothing but hatred, although I have been treated well by many journalists, but you could easily get that sense that, like, I live in a world where I'm surrounded by hatred.
00:57:51.000And that isn't what my life is like at all.
00:57:54.000What my life is like is that I travel with my wife and wherever we go, and I mean that literally, wherever we go, and we've been to, I don't know how many countries in the last year.
00:58:16.000If I go down the street, or if I'm in an airport, or if I'm in a cafe, or if I'm in a movie theater, or if I'm in a mechanic shop, some person comes up to me Every 10 minutes, and says,
00:58:37.000And they say, I've been listening to your lectures, or I've been watching your YouTube videos, or I read your book, and I was in this dreadful place six months ago.
00:58:49.000And then they tell me a little bit about the particulars of that little corner of hell they were ensconced in.
00:58:56.000And then they say, well, I've been trying to develop a vision for my life, or I've been trying to take more responsibility, or I've been trying to be grateful for my job, mundane though it may be, or I've decided that I'm going to try to put my family together and make peace,
00:59:13.000and I've really been trying, and it's really working, and things are way better.
00:59:25.000And so, well, it's overwhelming to have that happen continually.
00:59:32.000It's very difficult to believe, but it's unbelievably positive.
00:59:37.000You know, I mean, it's, if you could imagine, if you could ask for what you wanted, hey, you could have anything you wanted, you might think, it would be lovely if I could live my life in a manner so that wherever I went in the world,
00:59:59.000perfect strangers would come up to me, one after the other, and tell me that they're suffering much less, that their families are in better shape, and that their lives are on course because they took to heart something that I was communicating.
01:00:20.000That's as good as it gets, as far as I can tell.
01:02:53.000Facebook has decided to keep former President Trump off of its platform for now.
01:02:59.000Senator Ted Cruz tweeted the following.
01:03:01.000For every liberal celebrating Trump's social media ban, if the big tech oligarchs can muzzle the former president, what's to stop them from silencing you?
01:03:28.000Well, let me first say that this is an independent board's decision, and we're not going to have any comment on the future of the former president's social media platform.
01:03:39.000That's a decision that it sounds like the independent board punted back to Facebook to make in the next six months, as I know you all have reported.
01:03:48.000The president's view is that the major platforms have a responsibility related to the health and safety of all Americans to stop amplifying untrustworthy content, disinformation and misinformation,
01:04:03.000especially related to COVID-19, vaccinations.
01:04:29.000And then they start with that and then they go, I have to stop this misinformation, that misinformation, the misinformation that Hunter Biden's laptop exists.
01:04:40.000And we've seen that over the past several months.
01:04:44.000Broadly speaking, I'm not placing any blame on any individual or group.
01:04:47.000We've seen it from a number of sources.
01:04:49.000He also supports better privacy protections and a robust antitrust program.
01:04:55.000So his view is that there's more that needs to be done to ensure that this type of misinformation, disinformation, damaging, sometimes life-threatening information is not going out to the American public.
01:05:06.000You're saying more that needs to be done.
01:05:07.000Are there any concerns, though, about First Amendment rights?
01:05:12.000And where does the White House draw the line on that?
01:05:14.000Well, look, I think we are, of course, a believer in First Amendment rights.
01:05:18.000I think what the decisions are that the social media platforms need to make is how they address the disinformation, misinformation, especially related to life-threatening issues like COVID-19 and vaccinations that continue to proliferate on their platforms.
01:05:36.000President Biden said he wanted it done by the first anniversary of George Gordon's death, May 25th.
01:05:42.000Is he confident that Congress can meet that benchmark?
01:06:50.000So Molly Jongfast, who is some weird amateur activist, child of activist parents, spinster, eggless, sad, colossomy bag for Strangers Come at four in the morning.
01:07:02.000Her take is that you shouldn't give these people free speech.
01:07:08.000And what does she call free speech in this case?
01:07:55.000Anyway, James O'Keefe continues to kick ass.
01:07:58.000I'm actually getting worried about James O'Keefe, to be honest.
01:08:02.000When I saw Jacob DeGrom pitching last week, I thought, I enjoyed it at first, and then I went, oh my God, he sold his soul to the devil to have this level of talent.
01:08:11.000And I'm becoming concerned that James O'Keefe has sold his soul to the devil to be this on at all times.
01:08:48.000I'm going to object, but I don't think a New York Times reporter or an NBC News reporter or a 60-minute reporter would ever reveal their sources.
01:08:54.000Mr. O'Keefe, the difference between you and them is that they would never compare themselves to you.
01:09:27.000I just want to know whether you are asserting that Lauren Windsor or anyone else communicated either with me or anyone associated with my lawfully.
01:09:39.000We're about to find out because today we're issuing a subpoena to Randy Weingart.
01:10:15.000He's a journalist you probably never heard of, but Jesse Hicks did something that was absolutely unlawful, thought it would be cute to impersonate our staff in order to steal private information from within Project Veritas.
01:23:05.000The Founding Fathers considered it impossible for tyranny to come to America because they knew for tyranny to be established, it would have to be decades and decades of continual tyrannical policies being enacted.
01:23:15.000There would be so many red flags that the patriotic American would not simply sit in place as a prison is constructed around him brick by brick.
01:24:44.000Hey, first, I wanted to tell you that I had a dream that I called in to tell you that I had a dream, and you asked me if it was called care.
01:25:25.000Well, I was wondering if you could do just one show maybe that was a little bit more catered to women.
01:25:33.000Like, it wouldn't have to be like kittens or recipes or anything, but maybe like you always talk about your home movies where you sound like really faggy because you have a British accent or something.
01:25:50.000And like your mom, we would love to hear from your mom.
01:34:10.000Hey, so I just want to mention, isn't it crazy we live in a time when self-proclaimed socialists want there to be a vaccine that is unregulated used by every single person in the country and it's like funded you know it's by a private company I mean I butchered how I wanted to say that but you know like it doesn't make sense to me like there's such a break in in what they say they want and
01:37:42.000weird man at the gym i was looking at fox news and they're like this is great 4 million dollar home yeah that's the problem with the right for anyone's dog for a bone so kanye goes i I don't hate you guys.
01:40:34.000I've never, I have no recollection of Bruce Jenner talking.
01:40:36.000That would be great if he was like, basically what I'm trying to do with the Olympics is just fucking keep kicking ass, taking names, motherfucker.
01:48:24.000So listen, on the bottom of any page that you're on Center TV, that Rocket logo right there, you're going to want to go ahead and click that.
01:50:02.000Yeah, I kind of feel like I'm beating a dead horse here because that last guy, I think it was the same dude who told us about the chat last week, chat.censored.tv.
01:50:10.000But I did sign up for it and it's fucking awesome.
01:50:12.000So I was going to ask how come you don't know how to get onto it.
01:50:15.000But since you guys have already talked about that tonight, I guess I'll just ask Gavin, you know, when you get this new studio up and run in or, you know, move down to Tennessee or wherever you're going, if you're going to be hiring at all, because I feel like I could run all of Ryan's equipment better than he does.
01:50:31.000Yes, as soon as I fire him, you're first on the list.
01:53:17.000Being a Hungarian is better than being a Targaryen or a Rastafarian.
01:53:22.000Caitlin Jenner's fake voice is why dads are mad at gays.
01:53:27.000Because their son grew up, probably, I'm sure there's effeminate like seven-year-olds who love Broadway, but most seven-year-olds are just like, hey, dad, I love Spider-Man.
01:53:38.000And then one day he's like, oh, my God, Spider-Man?
01:55:37.000It looked like God fell asleep with his thumb on the period bar because they were just going all across the sky in a perfectly straight line, like 60 of them.
01:57:00.000But you're in, and then the reputation becomes: you guys are the biggest assholes in the world, you're the biggest liars, colonizers, you ruined the world.
01:57:08.000And you go, I'm actually winning, and I invited you to my party.
01:57:13.000I invited you to my mansion for a party where Madonna is playing and Tony Hawk is doing tricks, and there's free booze.
01:57:38.000And finally, someone knew what they were, so we looked over and that reassured us.
01:57:42.000But the whole rest of the night, I was just thinking about how amazing, you know, Elon Musk is, SpaceX, just these brilliant minds that are putting those through.
01:58:04.000Yeah, you know, one time I was on shrooms in high school, and I was lying down, and we were looking at the sky, and this is in my book, actually.
01:58:13.000And I was seeing these hexagons, all like a honeycomb of hexagons, all work like cogs, which doesn't make sense.
02:02:25.000Keep staring at the black dot in the center of the image, and I'll explain how your brain lies to you and constantly makes things up.
02:02:30.000As you keep focusing on the black dot, the cone cells in your retina become desensitized to the colors you can see and tones down the oranges and purples and it will tone up the colours that are complementary to these.
02:02:40.000So when I change the image to black and white, your brain fills in the gaps with these complementary colors to maintain the normality.
02:05:52.000Hey, you know what would be funny is if you had a segment on your show every once in a while where Ryan did his best to explain conspiracy theories to you.
02:06:02.000Because I can tell he's kind of into them and I can tell you're kind of not.
02:06:58.000He had this, you know, Dave Weiss, we could have him on the show, but basically, one thing that's pretty awesome, and I'll fast forward to it.
02:07:05.000Dave Weiss, who believes in parking in Manhattan for free in the day.