S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS [2020-02-24 - S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS]
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 24 minutes
Words per Minute
159.2997
Summary
This week, the lads talk about the rise and fall of Aesop Rocky and his new album 'Love Sick' and how much China sucks. Also, we talk about poor kids in the UK and why it's a good thing they don't grow up in poverty.
Transcript
00:01:12.000
Isn't Guernsey a tiny island off the coast of Spain?
00:01:20.000
If he's from that little fucking island, I don't know shit about that island.
00:01:27.000
Wouldn't it be tourism central if the Brits own an island?
00:01:36.000
But he seems like a real East Londoner council estate gazer.
00:02:05.000
That reminds me of the streets that, um, the band streets.
00:02:14.000
Maybe this is another middle-class kid pretending to be a yob, an oi boy, a working class, a dead-end yob.
00:02:23.000
So he's having a surge in popularity right now, in case any of you old people give a shit what the kids are into in Britain.
00:02:31.000
He actually, his big shit hit was Love Sick with Aesop Rocky.
00:02:38.000
I think all the S's are dollar signs, so it's kind of hard to find that.
00:03:14.000
Cousin Sippin' Pro, yeah, that methods pro-methasine, yeah, stepping stone.
00:03:27.000
But you're back and young and you're hella grown.
00:03:51.000
Think he's going to deliver that pizza to where it's supposed to go?
00:03:58.000
I think Moramassa did a cover of, what was it, Walk It Back by Haim?
00:04:06.000
Haim is a group of Jewish girls who grew up in LA, which always weirded me out.
00:04:10.000
I'm weirded out by people who grew up in New York City and Los Angeles.
00:04:23.000
Like my kids don't just walk outside and start playing, although I guess my eldest boy does.
00:04:29.000
But they have play dates and fucking clubs and this sport and that sport.
00:04:45.000
I was hearing loud sounds Suffering till I suffer in the feminine You see, now I'm on Coming around Coming around, coming around I'm walking away I'm walking away That sounds like the original.
00:05:26.000
I wanted to focus today's episode on China and how much it sucks.
00:05:35.000
If you're not West, you're not just not the best, you suck.
00:05:39.000
I mean, what's a non-Western culture country both that doesn't suck?
00:05:51.000
But, like, maybe, you know, Armenians are cool.
00:06:21.000
I've been watching footage of the Hong Kong police and the virus taking over China and them being locked in their Homes, and there's this tone from the local news.
00:06:35.000
There's this tone from our news saying, Can you believe this?
00:06:41.000
And I'm like, Yeah, it's China, it's a fucking shithole.
00:06:48.000
They are killing albinos in Africa right now and drinking their blood because they think it's magic.
00:06:54.000
And in South Africa, they're raping babies because they think it cures AIDS.
00:07:13.000
Yeah, so she's complaining to us about the virus and how people are being treated there.
00:07:24.000
By the way, didn't most of you jump on a plane the second you found out about the quarantine?
00:08:04.000
Are you putting tiny spider babies in my ear that have rabies?
00:08:20.000
I don't know if you'd like being in prison for the rest of your life or being fucking beaten to death.
00:08:32.000
Is there a harder country to pick your assailant out of a lineup of people?
00:08:37.000
Actually, that's considered racist, but the face recognition software is having a lot of trouble in China.
00:08:52.000
That's what they could bank on.喝茶,��留,����,法��是他们��的。他们能说����多年就能����多年。��师都没有用的。 I know.
00:09:15.000
Like, yeah, I've been screaming this for a hundred years.
00:09:20.000
And by the way, the whole virus you brought on yourself and the fact that the government is treating you like human garbage, yeah, that's Chinese culture.
00:09:31.000
And the thing that pisses me off is when we treat it nice and we say, oh, it's just different than us.
00:09:36.000
That's like saying a tall person is different than us or someone with curly hair, a fellow American who's black or has an Afro is different than us.
00:09:52.000
And when you treat it like us, you're saying communism is similar to capitalism.
00:09:58.000
We are seeing the fruits of communism right before our eyes.
00:10:02.000
And we're going, well, I mean, it's kind of like us.
00:10:08.000
So when they're in shit, we should be, well, not gloating and laughing, but going, see, let's look at communism in action.
00:10:28.000
One person will be sacrificed, two people will be sacrificed.
00:10:30.000
The war is definitely going to be with blood and meat.
00:10:38.000
I will be sacrificed for my parents, for my family, for my future life.
00:11:05.000
That's more precarious than those Russian climbing videos.
00:11:08.000
We had a revolution and kicked out the British.
00:11:17.000
And that makes a good segue to the core of today's show, which is China sucks.
00:11:32.000
Every second you waste is a second closer to the pearly gates.
00:11:50.000
I'd eat her shit for a mile just to kiss her ass.
00:11:59.000
I like them when they become Americanized, like Chinese food.
00:12:02.000
I love it in America, where it's like chicken balls, and they've taken out all the caterpillars and dead ants.
00:12:11.000
And it's things that I don't think Chinese people even make.
00:12:19.000
I lived in China, by the way, so I know what I'm talking about.
00:12:25.000
And this is the problem with a lot of these sort of multicultural egalitarians where they go, we're all the same.
00:12:40.000
When they come here and they assimilate, they become awesome people.
00:12:43.000
So I'm not shitting on genetically Chinese people.
00:12:52.000
I mean, I have my beefs with Japan and Korea, but that's for another video.
00:13:00.000
Oh, yeah, Ronnie Chang and Ken Jong are cool too.
00:13:04.000
So, I want to give you how many reasons am I up to here?
00:13:08.000
I want to give you 25 well-versed, well-researched, lived reasons why China sucks balls.
00:13:31.000
Eating bats is a whole other universe of gross.
00:13:35.000
When you see a bat, you're supposed to freak the fuck out.
00:13:48.000
A bat came in, hit its head on the ceiling fan, fell down on the ground, and it was there unconscious.
00:13:59.000
This happens to birds all the time, by the way.
00:14:00.000
So when you see a bird that hit your window lying on the ground, don't assume it's dead and just throw it in the garbage.
00:14:06.000
Give it some time to come to, as my grandmother would say.
00:14:10.000
And I stood up on the bed and I went, holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there.
00:14:20.000
We wrapped it in a towel, put it outside, opened the towel, thought, I guess in an hour, we'll throw it out if it's really dead, but I don't think it's dead.
00:14:29.000
But imagine going, what about some butter on that?
00:14:37.000
She might be the one who started this whole mess.
00:14:44.000
And the other thing that drives me nuts about the Chinese is it's not like deep fried or cut into pieces.
00:14:51.000
I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.
00:15:04.000
I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.
00:15:07.000
And they just, they were starving to death because they did too much opium, dumbasses.
00:15:14.000
Even though you're 40,000 years older than us, you still make these stupid mistakes like get addicted to opium.
00:15:24.000
Venezuelans are doing it now, but don't make it an integral part of your culture.
00:15:29.000
They have a saying there, if it moves, it's food.
00:15:36.000
I mean, it's like they're trying to outgross each other.
00:15:47.000
This is where the Wuhan, where it started, is bad, but it's not unique.
00:15:54.000
Even in Taiwan, you'll go to places and you'll see...
00:16:25.000
In Taipei, in Taiwan, where I lived, on the roof, they had these cages full of dogs.
00:16:43.000
And they're bloody, too, because they would attack each other through the grate.
00:16:49.000
There's so little crime there in Taiwan that your key fits a bunch of locks.
00:16:53.000
So I opened the lock to their cages, let them go free.
00:17:04.000
And the other dog had been so used to being in this cage, it was broken.
00:17:08.000
And it just stayed in the cage, wet and bloody and just staring.
00:17:13.000
And then the other dog, I could hear it on the street.
00:17:15.000
We were about a five-story building, small building, barking.
00:17:21.000
And the bark I sensed was like, the fuck, dude, let's go.
00:17:25.000
And the other dog was just going, I'm dead inside.
00:17:31.000
That first dog came back up the stairs and was looking at that dog in the cage going, what the fuck's going on?
00:17:41.000
So then I go, well, I'm going to get in shit here and I'm happy to get in shit and risk this if you're free.
00:17:47.000
But if you guys don't want to be free, then I'm locking you back up because it's lose-lose as far as right now goes.
00:17:55.000
And so the other dog waited and that guy wouldn't leave.
00:17:58.000
So I just went, all right, I closed the cage and the guy who wouldn't leave.
00:18:06.000
And then I said to the other guy, you got to get in there.
00:18:11.000
And he walked into the cage and I locked it up where they will be eaten.
00:18:18.000
And then when I got back downstairs, I was living in like a boarding house with a bunch of people that were there teaching English, a lot of white dudes.
00:18:48.000
There's some sort of sadistic impulse there where you want it to be as fucking horrific as possible.
00:19:14.000
This is called the two squeak lunch or something.
00:19:23.000
Where they'll take live baby mice, and that makes it squeak when you pick it up.
00:19:57.000
That's why, like Jews and Muslims, they don't eat pork and bacon, and they obviously got that wrong, but there is a method to the madness.
00:20:03.000
God doesn't want you just eating anything that fucking moves.
00:20:15.000
I know these are all sounding similar, but we got 25 here.
00:20:19.000
They have a saying that they believe that the more you torture an animal before you kill it, the more delicious it is.
00:20:30.000
And I think that's why they don't prepare their animals.
00:20:41.000
So they're eating these things that the face is on the plate.
00:20:44.000
And it's like, and you know, it was tortured to death.
00:20:54.000
You're not more delicious when you are tortured.
00:20:57.000
Being tortured makes their adrenaline course through their veins.
00:21:02.000
So things taste worse when they've been tortured to death.
00:21:06.000
You think they may have figured that out in 40,000 years?
00:21:13.000
How are you not figuring stuff out when you're so much older than me?
00:21:26.000
You should be fucking, I was going to say ninjas by now.
00:21:46.000
And this was an interesting side note from the movie American Factory that Barack Obama put out.
00:21:51.000
He was trying to say unions are awesome, and I was a great president.
00:21:56.000
You were the one who made that town bankrupt by focusing on one union and not the other.
00:22:02.000
And secondly, you accidentally showed us China and we saw that socialism leads to communism, leads to hell on earth.
00:22:09.000
And there was a scene in it where these workers, Chinese workers who live in America now at this factory are talking about how lazy Americans are and how lame we are and what pussies we are because we only work 40 hours a week.
00:22:20.000
And one of the guys was saying, yeah, I'm lucky to see my kids twice a year.
00:22:42.000
My like estranged cousins see my kids once a year.
00:22:50.000
They work 10, 12 hours a day, six days a week, often seven days a week, the whole year, and they save up for Chinese New Year.
00:22:58.000
And then Chinese New Year, they'll go down to their family for like three weeks or something.
00:23:05.000
That's like not eating for four days and then gorging and going to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
00:23:14.000
So your life fucking sucks if you see your kids once a year.
00:23:28.000
40,000-year-old culture should be able to cure cancer with like a pinprick.
00:23:46.000
You just have to massage your big toes right in the middle.
00:23:50.000
The nose is directly related to the center of the big toe.
00:23:57.000
It has nothing to do with your nose whatsoever.
00:24:15.000
Like the whole, we had to kill bears because we needed this fucking bear gland that makes you more virile or the way they chop off shark fins because that might cure blindness.
00:24:30.000
How can you be so smart and not have placebo tests to realize that shark fins are not curing blindness or whatever the fuck they're into?
00:24:41.000
They're murdering these animals, torturing them, making them...
00:24:48.000
You know, you go to some market and there'll be all these alcohols, whiskey and stuff.
00:25:00.000
So, oh yeah, and also they have, you know, in their spas, they'll have this stuff like the hot steam that goes into this spa, that goes into this room, has been filtered through gold and silver.
00:25:10.000
So the ions are in the water particles and they're going on your body.
00:25:23.000
Koreans, Japanese, they also believe this shit about fucking ions.
00:25:29.000
It's embarrassing, really, that scientists and mathematicians could be so scientifically and mathematically illiterate.
00:25:44.000
Oh, this is a giant Hitler statue in Stuttgart, Germany.
00:26:11.000
You'll be walking around Shanghai or Beijing, and you'll just see Mao statues every fucking where.
00:26:19.000
Go to a market, and they're selling little Mao hats, and all the fucking liberal hippies from America come, and they get a little Mao tote, and they get the little hat with the red star.
00:26:32.000
I actually did buy some Mao teacups that fell apart.
00:26:35.000
But the fact that you could have a genocidal maniac who murdered more people than I can conceive of, literally, and there's no animosity there.
00:26:46.000
Like, we're throwing paint on these Civil War statues because one of the guys might have liked slavery.
00:26:54.000
And they are totally okay with a giant gold Mao.
00:27:02.000
There are hundreds and hundreds of Mao statues all over China.
00:27:06.000
And they don't talk about the Great Leap Forward with animosity.
00:27:08.000
Their attitude is, well, the trains ran on time.
00:27:11.000
You know, you got to break some eggs to make an omelet.
00:27:20.000
This is probably my biggest pet peeve is they don't say what's on their mind.
00:27:43.000
I don't like that I can't tell what's on your mind.
00:27:48.000
And a Chinese person can be totally mad at you, hate your guts, and they'll still go, hello, hi, how are you?
00:28:02.000
I don't want to be friends with you if you don't want to be friends with me.
00:28:05.000
And, you know, you're in a conflict with them about something.
00:28:08.000
I remember I was teaching this kindergarten class and they weren't paying me.
00:28:17.000
And then I went, oh yeah, we're in fucking China.
00:28:23.000
And I went, hello, I understand that you have a hard time.
00:28:33.000
And then I got paid right away because I was a gay lord.
00:28:37.000
Or another time I was teaching English and the only way we can get the class going is if I got her gossiping because she was very shy.
00:28:44.000
So she started telling me all this gossip about housewives.
00:28:46.000
Apparently some of them prostitute themselves, blah, blah, blah.
00:28:48.000
And then the husband found out that we were talking about rude things.
00:28:56.000
They go, Hu Chin had to go to Hong Kong for her secretary work.
00:29:08.000
I hate in Scotland, it's just like, hey, here are you.
00:29:16.000
But in China, the whole concept of face means you're constantly wasting time.
00:29:25.000
And some of the kids, I didn't do this, but some guys would use it to their advantage.
00:29:28.000
They would get on scooters and they wouldn't get insurance or registration.
00:29:36.000
And then when the cops would stop them, they'd say, They go, I don't speak fucking Chinese.
00:29:52.000
And he'd start berating the cop for not speaking English.
00:29:55.000
And the cop would just like go, I have lost face.
00:30:02.000
Or I saw another time a woman on a scooter wiped out and she had fucked up her knee.
00:30:14.000
So she just sat there with her hand on her knee as blood was gushing out, just quietly waiting for the ambulance.
00:30:23.000
That's what I hate, that they're scared of being rude.
00:30:33.000
You know the whole mask thing you see everywhere?
00:30:41.000
We've seen pretty clearly they're terrible at germs.
00:31:05.000
And I'd be writing on the board, and I'd get chalk on my hands, and I would go like this, put on my slacks.
00:31:14.000
They would scream that I had chalk on my hands.
00:31:19.000
And I taught at this one private girls' school, and they would give them chores during the breaks.
00:31:25.000
So the second it was a break, it wasn't time to sit on your ass.
00:31:27.000
You'd have to wash your desk or go wash the windows or take out the garbage.
00:31:31.000
And they're always working and cooking and cleaning in between classes.
00:31:34.000
And one of the girls' jobs was to come to my Blackboard and take my dusting eraser things and go outside and shake them off.
00:31:49.000
But she would come, and I'm talking about 12 years old or so.
00:31:52.000
She would come and she'd have to go outside to bang them out.
00:32:03.000
And one had to do it every, I don't know, two days.
00:32:13.000
I once ate a piece of chalk in front of them to show them how stupid this all is.
00:32:23.000
I stole this from Ronnie Chang, but I remember from when I was over there.
00:32:28.000
When we see each other during Chinese New Year, the way we greet each other is we say in Cantonese.
00:32:37.000
I'm sure you've heard that, at least perhaps, right?
00:32:48.000
But yeah, and I hate their obsession with money because it's almost like a robotic obsession with money.
00:33:00.000
Constantly talking about money, money, money, which brings me to number 10.
00:33:05.000
I was outside of Taipei on some sea resort town.
00:33:16.000
Now, this isn't the statue I'm talking about, but it looks exactly like the statue I'm talking about.
00:33:20.000
So we'll leave it there for all intents and purposes.
00:33:22.000
But I went to this sort of like Jersey Shore place.
00:33:25.000
Not that they would have anything as fun as Jersey Shore.
00:33:32.000
And there was some sort of like dolphin entertainment thing where they showed people.
00:33:38.000
And there was a black dude, a black American there.
00:33:40.000
And it's very rare to see Americans when I was there.
00:33:45.000
And they were doing these routines where like the dolphin would come out and then he would come out and the dolphin would hit him in the head and he go, what the pure Sambo shit.
00:33:55.000
And I would feed them wrong and stuff and slip and fall.
00:33:59.000
And I saw him after the show and I had this look like, holy shit, what the fuck did you just do?
00:34:10.000
And then he had a look like, niggas got to make a living, yo.
00:34:13.000
So he just sort of went like, and I was going, it was a weird little meet of the eyes.
00:34:21.000
That was more back when I was more politically correct.
00:34:23.000
In retrospect, if I did it now, I'd be like, what the fuck, dude?
00:34:31.000
Anyway, that's not why I brought up that story.
00:34:34.000
There were these two dogs that were there, a statue of them that looked just like that dog I showed you before.
00:34:41.000
And there was maybe like 80 people around these dogs praying.
00:34:48.000
And the guy I was with, Transit, I go, so what are they saying?
00:34:53.000
Because these dogs, they stay on the beach and they wait for their master, the sailors.
00:34:59.000
But the sailors did not return because the boat sank.
00:35:01.000
So they stayed there on the beach until they starved to death.
00:35:14.000
And everyone's freaked out by these loyal dogs.
00:35:20.000
Have you ever noticed with foreigners, you can never get a fucking answer?
00:35:23.000
Like you're in a taxicab with some Puerto Rican and he's playing music and you go, what music is this?
00:35:43.000
What, you just have a big bucket of CDs when you go to the music store?
00:35:49.000
Anyway, eventually I got him to tell me what the fuck they were saying.
00:35:59.000
Like, the magic dog gods are going to go, all right, that was a good prayer.
00:36:04.000
When you get home, it's going to be a Mercedes with a giant red ribbon on it.
00:36:28.000
One time when I was there, I think it was Beijing, there was a journalist who wrote about, you can click on this.
00:36:42.000
This is the Hong Kong police during these riots where the Chinese don't want to be reunited with China.
00:36:52.000
I could not care less when I see these people complaining.
00:36:55.000
I go, yeah, you live in a shithole country with horrible culture.
00:37:01.000
It's not like someone from Canada is going, the police are beating us.
00:37:08.000
Your country is 40,000 years older than us and like 40,000 years behind us.
00:37:16.000
But your fucking culture sucks and it's ridiculous.
00:37:20.000
Although I do appreciate the MAGA hats and the Pepe the Frogs and the American flags.
00:37:26.000
But yeah, when I was there once, they had some journalists was bitching.
00:37:30.000
Some journalist was pointing out police brutality and the cops found him after his article was published and they beat him to death.
00:37:51.000
If you hit someone with your car, you have to pay their medical bills.
00:37:59.000
So if you hit someone, you pay their medical bills.
00:38:02.000
But if you kill them, well, there's obviously nothing to pay.
00:38:05.000
So if someone will hit someone in a car and they'll be like, oh, oh, and then they'll reverse over him and just keep hitting him until he's dead so they don't have to pay his bills.
00:38:27.000
Number 12, they want the son to be a doctor for money, not to save lives.
00:38:41.000
They're obsessed with their kids being doctors.
00:38:43.000
And you think, wow, you must really want to improve humanity.
00:38:53.000
Number 13, they'd rather die than go to the doctor.
00:39:00.000
So they're obsessed with their kids being doctors, yet they don't go to doctors themselves.
00:39:04.000
They go to this shit where the pathways along the vitals.
00:39:08.000
I love when white people too learn all this shit and learn about Chinese medicine and then tell you about it.
00:39:18.000
Eastern medicine, chronic illness prevention and wellness.
00:39:32.000
You burned some candles and stuck me with a pin.
00:39:43.000
And you go, Gavin, why are you pissed off at someone that doesn't need money?
00:39:48.000
Because if you won't shut up about money, but it's not for you.
00:39:53.000
Oh, here's a nice, this is an apartment in Beijing.
00:39:57.000
I once, I taught this one guy, his kid, I was a tutor for his kid.
00:40:01.000
I taught a lot of kids because none of the expats there wanted to deal with kids.
00:40:07.000
He was a dentist, and he owned that, he had his practice at the basement, sorry, the ground floor, and then he owned the whole building.
00:40:25.000
They still have their meat hanging outside on the balcony instead of using a fridge.
00:40:29.000
I don't know what the fuck is going on with that.
00:40:31.000
They still are like dirty and they don't enjoy things.
00:40:46.000
So it's tile floors and then the lights aren't on because that saves money.
00:40:50.000
This dentist was rich, but he has to save money.
00:40:53.000
So you're like walking up the stairs in the dark and then you get to this room that you learn later is the living room.
00:41:00.000
It's got tile floors and then huge Tupperware tubs.
00:41:05.000
I don't know what the fuck is in those, but just Tupperware in your living room, unless you moved in three days ago, you're a failure.
00:41:19.000
So we'd sit in the dimly lit room and I'd teach him English and look at the shithole tubs.
00:41:24.000
And I thought, why do you want money so bad if you don't enjoy opulence?
00:41:28.000
Like, I understand a French aristocrat wanting money.
00:41:31.000
He likes to drive a Benz and he likes to sleep in silk sheets and he likes to go on a cruise on a beautiful yacht and have caviar.
00:41:41.000
You got a little monocle and stuff and you listen to classical music and you enjoy the fine of things.
00:41:48.000
That's not my cup of tea, but I get that that's your thing.
00:41:51.000
And that's why you're obsessed with money, but they're not.
00:41:53.000
Like the fucking booze they drink is just in a plastic container and it looks like a water bottle.
00:41:58.000
It's like 100 proof and they have a swig and then pass out and die.
00:42:06.000
They shit in these bathrooms that are just on the floor.
00:42:10.000
The other guy's previous turd is sitting there.
00:42:17.000
Yeah, that's a whole other one, the bathroom situation.
00:42:19.000
But it sort of goes back to this sort of disdain for fun, which, okay, so you're like a Russian.
00:42:28.000
But why are you talking about money all the time?
00:42:30.000
And when they do get money, what do they spend it on?
00:42:33.000
Luxury goods, Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel purses, stupid shit like that.
00:42:51.000
Like this is a grave, right, that has a little area where you can sit and have tea.
00:42:57.000
Or in Taipei, when you go on the highway, all the hills have little graves everywhere with verandas like this.
00:43:11.000
So it's these dead people sit and watch traffic on their little graves with their little tables, smoke cigarettes, and I guess have dead coffee and just enjoy the view of Chinese traffic jams.
00:43:34.000
We don't build like harps to go with our dead ones.
00:43:41.000
You guys take everything so fucking literally that you have a table and chairs next to a grave site for ghosts.
00:43:56.000
They burn shit for them to have in the afterlife.
00:44:17.000
They have their own fucking currency, if you can believe that.
00:44:22.000
And they'll burn cell phones, paper cell phones.
00:44:28.000
So it's just a cell phone with a picture of an iPhone on a cardboard.
00:44:54.000
It's convenient that they can shrink these things down.
00:45:04.000
You'll be walking around downtown Taipei and there's just a massive bonfire.
00:45:17.000
They burn little paper shoes so your ghost dad can have shoes.
00:45:29.000
They have all this Shit about feng shui and oh, a big tree in front of your house can be bad news.
00:45:34.000
So, when the rich ones, and this is why I guess they hope they're rich, in China, you need something like 50 grand to leave.
00:45:42.000
So, they leave, they come to Vancouver, they've totally taken over Vancouver, but they get these big mansions, and there's these beautiful red woods, you know, 200-year-old homes.
00:45:53.000
So even rich people down there, when they have a home, it's got these big gorgeous trees, and it's on a lake, and they're very, it's like Seattle, right?
00:46:02.000
And then the Chinese come in and they go, oh, bad luck.
00:46:09.000
So the environmentalists are going ballistic because these Chinese people are cutting on trees, but no one mentions it.
00:46:14.000
You'll find a lot of this stuff is hard to research because it sounds racist to shit on other cultures.
00:46:25.000
And what if they're bringing that shitty culture to my country and chopping down 200-year-old trees?
00:46:32.000
It's like Milo was saying the other day about Hispanic racism, meaning Hispanics who hate blacks.
00:46:40.000
Are you sure you want this background and not green?
00:46:56.000
So Russians, Eastern Europeans are like this too.
00:47:04.000
Brown nylons are plastic pants, and they'll wear brown nylon socks.
00:47:12.000
That's the same as you putting your foot in a paper bag, I mean, sorry, a plastic bag, and then putting that in the shoe.
00:47:22.000
And I used to know this guy who he made piercings, like nose piercings and stuff, and the two double whatevers.
00:47:29.000
And he manufactured it in China because it was cheaper.
00:47:32.000
And he did it as a way to make quick money in college.
00:47:36.000
But then he ended up going, I think this is my life now.
00:47:38.000
So he would regularly fly to China and oversee like 8 billion fucking piercings and then ship them all back and sell them to tattoo shops, whatever.
00:47:47.000
And we would be at his house when they would come and he's like, we got to get out of here.
00:47:50.000
Oh, they're coming to start working on shit now.
00:47:52.000
It was like a big loft apartment kind of a factory thing where he stayed when he was there.
00:47:58.000
And they come in, they all take their shoes off.
00:48:02.000
The fucking foot smell was like being murdered.
00:48:11.000
He wouldn't stay there for three days after they had been there.
00:48:14.000
It smelled so fucking horrible because they had these plastic shoes on.
00:48:25.000
A lot of people are mad, especially Canadians, that I wear shoes in the house, but I wear like Mr. Rogers' shoes.
00:48:32.000
And they're handy if you have to run out and throw the garbage out or something.
00:48:35.000
But reeking up someone's property with your gross plastic bag feet because you want to show them respect.
00:48:47.000
You see a lot of Asian women, especially even in New York, unassimilated ones.
00:48:53.000
And they'll have like a shoe with a strap on it, and the strap is never done.
00:49:00.000
I should try to document this because it's not easy to dig up on the internet, but they often look like a little kid wearing mommy's shoes.
00:49:06.000
Maybe it's because they take off their shoes so much that they don't bother putting them on again.
00:49:10.000
But Asian women in China and America don't seem to know how to wear shoes.
00:49:29.000
I mean, I know they have a population of a billion, so there's some sort of humping going on, but there's no sexuality.
00:49:36.000
And it's funny, speaking of boots, they'll sometimes dress like complete whores.
00:49:43.000
And I don't know if you know the message you're sending out.
00:49:45.000
Like when you wear something like this, you're saying, I come from sucking dick, which is very rare.
00:49:52.000
You have to be a complete fucking slut to be like that.
00:49:56.000
And if you're that big of a slut, you wear thigh-high boots.
00:50:05.000
This is Cardi B. This is fake tits and cocaine.
00:50:16.000
They only fuck to make kids, and then they don't see their kids.
00:50:20.000
Sorry, I shouldn't say next when I haven't said it yet.
00:50:29.000
And they did a good job of kung fu movies, basically family entertainment, where, you know, like crouching tiger hidden dragon where someone runs on some rose petals, then does a backflip, which is like WWE, whatever.
00:50:52.000
But there is this guy, this medicine man, Wong Fei Hung.
00:51:02.000
But can you, like, we don't still have a million Jesse James movies going on?
00:51:08.000
Can you maybe move on from Wong Fei Hung and the evil imperialists who were trying to make you Christian?
00:51:20.000
It's ironic, too, because they're talking, usually these movies are about staying Chinese and rejecting the American culture.
00:51:26.000
But if there's one thing you need, it's American culture.
00:51:33.000
Which, that intro to that Wang Fei Hung movie reminded me of number 22.
00:51:40.000
Their music is like, it's like someone is stabbing you in the earhole.
00:51:47.000
Is this an interrogation?教��流,教��教教��流,教��教 Oh,清早,令朝名字�� Like, young people listen to this fucking shit.
00:52:22.000
Are there always plinking in some string instrument that's like ding bang ding ding ding tong bang?
00:52:27.000
You're just like, okay, I'll tell you what you want to know.
00:52:34.000
Or it's just really milquetoast gay garbage like Lao Chao Shen Tr Sao Ning Le Tr Which brings us to their language, which sucks shit.
00:53:08.000
Oh, we just keep drawing fucking pictures for every word.
00:53:22.000
They're like, whoa, men, cha, shi, su, choi, gao.
00:53:27.000
By the way, Chinese and Mandarin, I don't know how it is with Cantonese, but Mandarin has four tones.
00:53:38.000
And if you say the wrong one, you just said your mother's a whore.
00:53:42.000
So when you learn any sentence in Chinese, your whole body's tense and you're like, hi, sure, sweet chao, zai che, du pochi.
00:53:56.000
Like, no, you just said, you said fart man at the end.
00:54:04.000
Meanwhile, in English, you can be Jamaican, Scottish.
00:54:12.000
At least the Koreans updated it and they got themselves an alphabet with those circles and those squares and stuff.
00:54:19.000
China's still painting their letters like the retards in the Middle East with their like...
00:54:34.000
By the way, speaking of not wearing shoes, what's going on with your croc there?
00:55:00.000
This would be like changing the world because she was rude and loud.
00:55:39.000
There's not even garbage around because no one can afford garbage.
00:55:42.000
Just rocks and trees and poverty and a pile of fucking tarps.
00:55:57.000
Which brings us to number 25, the last reason China sucks, is because they go pee pee in your Coke.
00:56:04.000
I don't know why they think this is funny, but if you have a Coke somewhere, you leave it there, a Chinese person is around, they will grab it, they'll urinate in it, and then you'll come back and you'll go, whoa, this tastes kind of warm.
00:56:15.000
and you'll realize a Chinese person just went pee-pee in my Coke.
00:56:47.000
Was Fred Armison, Sid from Les Avvi Fav, Tim Harrington from Les Avvi Fav, David Cross, and these guys.
00:57:00.000
I kind of sensed things were not going to last forever.
00:57:14.000
Like all the men there, they had these J. Crew striped sweaters and then socks, like orange socks and pink socks with bananas on them and stuff, like gayer than Justin Trudeau.
00:57:27.000
And they were talking about Hillary and healthcare and Obama and how awesome he is.
00:57:44.000
And I thought, yeah, this is not going to last forever.
00:57:50.000
And then I was skiing in the Berkshires, which is weird.
00:57:55.000
I was in the Berkshires, which I'd never really been to before, but there's a bunch of good ski hills.
00:58:03.000
I'm at the point now with skiing, by the way, where there's the Northeast skiing.
00:58:09.000
It's a different pastime than Salt Lake City and Colorado and the West Coast and all that awesome powder, crazy giant mountain stuff.
00:58:26.000
But I go to this sort of expensive pub and there's a lot of people.
00:58:33.000
You can tell there's a lot of theater people there.
00:58:36.000
In fact, I saw a microphone come out onto the main sort of area where we were sitting, and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58:45.000
And you're like, we got to, let's keep eating, guys.
00:58:57.000
So while I'm there, I walk in and I keep getting more and more famous.
00:59:09.000
I've considered prosthetic noses, but everywhere I fucking go, like the ski hill, I take my shit off and they're like, oh, we got to get a selfie.
00:59:20.000
They didn't even know each other, but they took it.
00:59:23.000
I took your selfie, you take my selfie, whatever.
00:59:26.000
And then I'm in the pub and this guy does this, which is my fucking pet peeve.
00:59:33.000
I don't know why this makes me insane with rage, but I held in my rage.
00:59:45.000
And it's much faster just to take the picture than to say no, by the way.
00:59:49.000
And so I go and sit down and then I go and piss.
00:59:55.000
Oh, by the way, before that, there was some fatty liberal in a red sweater who was really big.
01:00:03.000
And my daughter said, he keeps staring at you, and he's clocked to you or something.
01:00:08.000
So I don't know if this story is boring enough.
01:00:09.000
But anyway, I went in to go piss, and he approached me at the urinal, which I'm not bananas about.
01:00:14.000
Donnie Wahlberg and I don't like being approached at urinals, but high-pitched Eric approached Donny Wahlberg at a urinal recently.
01:00:20.000
And this guy approached me and he goes, what are you doing?
01:00:22.000
You're behind enemy lines, which is that story I told about when I first moved to the Burbs.
01:00:28.000
So I think he's listening to me and he's stealing a line from my own stories.
01:00:32.000
And then I said, he goes, and I go, what do you mean?
01:00:40.000
Like, someone should have sent me a topographical map of where I'm allowed to go.
01:00:45.000
And I go, all right, well, if there's a fight, there's a fight.
01:00:48.000
And he goes, if there's a fight, I got your back, but there won't be a fight here.
01:00:54.000
Well, I'm glad we're both touching our penises as we have this conversation.
01:01:02.000
So anyway, I'm at the Jiminy Peak, I think it's called.
01:01:10.000
I'm at the ski hill, and I see Sid from Lesavi Fav.
01:01:18.000
They were very pro-Obama and everything, but we never really had a political discussion.
01:01:23.000
In fact, he once tweeted out, I know a lot of people disagree with Gavin, but I'm glad he exists.
01:01:29.000
His wife is Amy, I forget her name, but she's in Blue Bloods and stuff.
01:01:39.000
I feel bad for every man married to an actress.
01:02:19.000
But anyway, this is a very long way to tell you that I saw him and I just went, oh, fuck, there's it.
01:02:26.000
And I just turned away because I didn't want to deal with him.
01:02:37.000
But it was like, no, don't show his daughter, dude.
01:02:46.000
I guess the real reason was with that scene, right, there's been these exes.
01:02:51.000
I don't know if you were part of the fuck Gavin crew during the divorce that was Trump in 2016.
01:02:58.000
And I don't really care enough or feel like parsing through the, hello?
01:03:03.000
Oh, hey, are we, oh, hi, or are you pissed that I like Trump still?
01:03:07.000
Okay, so we're not, okay, so I shouldn't have said hi.
01:03:10.000
Like, I don't feel like doing, dealing with that.
01:03:16.000
And I'm not a phony, so I have no problem with him.
01:03:21.000
But to run over and go, hey, is to him is to imply, pretend that that entire crew and I no longer speak because of Trump.
01:03:34.000
So to go up to someone from that gang and go, hey, and pretend we're still best friends, even though we used to correspond a lot.
01:03:48.000
So to sort of pretend that we went from hanging out with each other regularly to not at all and be phony wasn't in the cards, right?
01:04:00.000
You come over and you go, hey, well, here we are.
01:04:24.000
And then luckily, my ski gear is a mask with a face, like a Jason Friday 13th goalie mask.
01:04:44.000
I have a whole thing here on cleaning up the computer where it's things from weeks ago that we didn't cover.
01:04:51.000
But I want to make that an entire show in and of itself.
01:05:38.000
I've been watching for a while now, and you helped me break out of my previous liberal ways.
01:05:42.000
I was raised by a culture that despised masculinity, and I was taught to avoid it at all costs.
01:05:49.000
Little did I know this would end up leaving me unhappy and unfulfilled.
01:05:55.000
What is it with this culture where we're taught to hate ourselves?
01:06:01.000
Yes, black people are taught to hate themselves by racism every day.
01:06:11.000
But white males are constantly told they suck and males are told they suck.
01:06:16.000
Anyway, that kind of a culture is not going to pass.
01:06:21.000
Like eventually that group, which is males are, what, 50% of the population, are going to go, yeah, I don't like that.
01:06:28.000
How do you so successfully sell a product to someone that says you're a piece of garbage?
01:06:36.000
Like if I went to Shark Tank and I go, I want a million dollars for 25% of the company.
01:06:42.000
We've generated a lot of money, but what we do is we just tell people that they're human garbage and then we try to get them to fix themselves.
01:06:54.000
After finding a few beacons of light, you included, I started lifting weights.
01:06:59.000
Running, sticking up for myself, dressing like a man and acting like one.
01:07:03.000
I still have a long way to go, but I'm significantly happier than where I was before I made this change.
01:07:09.000
Why do you think culture moved in a direction during the early 2000s to demonize masculinity?
01:07:15.000
You see it in the emo punk bands and the vegetarianism, veganism movements, and characters in television movies not to be too conspiratorial, but it feels like there was a concerted effort to weaken men as part of a leftist agenda.
01:07:29.000
Yeah, there's definitely a globalist influence in that culture, but why was it so successful?
01:07:48.000
And they took the bait, though, and ran with it.
01:07:51.000
And the analogy I always use is these evangelicals who think you're impervious to venomous snakes.
01:07:57.000
If that group tried to take over Christianity, Christians would just go, what?
01:08:08.000
Like, if you say a bunch of globalists spent a ton of money to encourage Mexicans to believe that masculinity is dead in Mexico and they suck and they're losers and they're responsible for all these horrible things in history, they just say no.
01:08:23.000
Blacks, Japanese, every other group would go, we're not doing that.
01:08:32.000
So I don't, and I know he's talking about masculinity, but it's the same thing.
01:08:36.000
And I don't quite, I can't quite figure it out.
01:08:40.000
I think there's something about whites where when we get too successful, we become lemmings and we want to hate ourselves.
01:08:54.000
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
01:09:04.000
You need to say oldest symbols or you're going to sound ridiculous.
01:09:14.000
Her dad would say, yeah, your Mexican sounds American.
01:09:38.000
As you have referenced, Christianity has significantly impacted Western culture.
01:09:42.000
Oh, someone was saying to me too, they're like, I think it was a proud boy.
01:09:46.000
He was saying, oh, so hating Muslims is cool, but you can't hate Jews?
01:09:57.000
The Jews were an integral part of building the West.
01:10:03.000
In fact, they've made it very clear time and time again that they want to convert or kill.
01:10:12.000
I remember there were some Australian Muslims I saw talking about how they hate Australia and someone said, why don't you just leave?
01:10:38.000
This is especially true because of the teachings and writings of Catholic saints such as Saint Bonaventure, St. Gregory the Great, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, St. Benedict, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Hildegard, St. Catherine.
01:10:53.000
What saints' writings have inspired you to better understand and appreciate the Christian roots of our Western culture?
01:11:07.000
P.S. It'd be great to see you and Ryan do a seminar on St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland, who's not from Scotland.
01:11:15.000
His bones were moved there from, I think, Turkey because he wanted to be as far away from Turkey as possible.
01:11:23.000
So they chose the weirdest place they could, and that was Scotland.
01:11:26.000
St. Patrick, St. Margaret of Scotland, St. Nicholas, and St. Mungo.
01:11:29.000
People are likely unfamiliar with the real stories of these saints, especially St. Patrick, and would enjoy learning about them from you.
01:11:49.000
Saint Patrick, who is my favorite saint, we will be doing a St. Patrick special.
01:11:58.000
I actually kind of like the shitty audio of that now.
01:12:12.000
He probably fucked her and made a baby he doesn't love.
01:12:20.000
Gavin, I had a similar experience as your alligator arms and beanbag story over the weekend.
01:12:27.000
I was at a party with my brother talking to a couple of sixes, which is a good way to work out.
01:12:35.000
You just hit the heavy bag with some fives, and then when there's an eight there, you're in your group.
01:12:44.000
He is pretty shy, his younger brother, and I have an obligation to show him how to talk to women as his older brother.
01:12:49.000
At this point in the night, I had consumed at least a 12-pack and lost the plot while telling a story.
01:12:56.000
After giving me a distinct look of disgust, the girls scurried away.
01:13:00.000
I turned to my brother immediately and declared, that's what bombing looks like, Mason.
01:13:15.000
You bitch about your dog pissing all over your house, but maybe it learned it by watching dad.
01:13:25.000
Okay, let's end the show with a series of videos about this guy.
01:13:33.000
I think this is relevant because it's part of my Western chauvinism, my arrogance when it comes to the West.
01:13:46.000
Wait, are you sure you got the right one first?
01:13:53.000
Some black dude was on a mountain bike and hit a Turk who was trying to fix a tire.
01:15:12.000
Why is he wearing reflective gear to change a tire?
01:15:25.000
But what I was surprised to learn is this guy's still out there.
01:15:29.000
And this weird Turk loser, that's him, Ferdy, right?
01:15:41.000
A lot of people are talking online, but for the first time ever, we're bringing you our guy, Ferdie.
01:15:50.000
And for the first time on your camera, never seen ever before.
01:16:04.000
Can you explain this whole thing from your side?
01:16:08.000
In my college, I had to record myself doing a cycle from the destination to the college and back the other way.
01:16:33.000
I was trying to get there fast, as we all know that.
01:16:44.000
This reminds me of William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal debating.
01:16:54.000
This is what we were trying to do with free speech, get two intellectuals together to discuss important issues.
01:17:19.000
I was just asking one simple question, but you know what he's saying?
01:17:30.000
Oh, I thought he was saying, what is the high risk for?
01:17:38.000
And then he said, why are your tools in the streets?
01:17:41.000
But also, I think he means roads, not highways.
01:17:48.000
You're not supposed to be on the sidewalk on your bike.
01:17:54.000
If this guy was a good interviewer, he'd take his hat off and we could see a scar on the top.
01:18:02.000
Then I come out from my house, I said, Some voice is like, put a high risk in case.
01:18:22.000
Look at this host treating it like he's got some scoop.
01:18:28.000
Like, it's like a third of the shot is this dude's crotch.
01:18:32.000
His weird giant denim balls are taking up the whole shot.
01:18:35.000
I'm guessing he was leaning forward and then he decided to get comfy.
01:18:39.000
Can you lean forward and we can zoom in a little bit?
01:18:43.000
Also, the processing in their voices is what is Capital Extra?
01:19:06.000
That's why I've been holding my head all the way down to finish video as you finish it.
01:19:12.000
And I'm just trying to like, am I alright or not?
01:19:16.000
And then the words come out of my mouth, which is, I didn't realize what I was saying also.
01:19:33.000
This guy has tons of interviews on the internet where he discusses this ridiculous moment in his life that's totally fucking irrelevant.
01:19:42.000
The only reason it went viral is because why you come fast sounds funny because the guy doesn't speak English.
01:19:46.000
And here he is on hip-hop talk show after hip-hop talk show.
01:19:57.000
None other than the man himself, the second greatest Turk to be coming on this show, first being me.
01:20:04.000
He's none other than fuck you Mike Ferdi coming fast.
01:20:24.000
Just I beg for this episode, let's just swap places, yeah?
01:20:32.000
Why did you want to call the police on the black boy?
01:20:34.000
Why did I want to call the police for the black boy?
01:20:48.000
He looks like the black dude in Rage Against the Machine.
01:21:01.000
Get Gary on there and liven things up a little bit.
01:21:20.000
So, hey, Gary, I have cancer and I'm wondering if I should get the chemo or just sort of try to have a quality of life and then die after it metastasizes.
01:21:57.000
I've never done a freestyle on my show before, and I'd love for you to be the first person that does a freestyle on it.
01:22:09.000
Go somewhere, but make sure that you better know where you're going, Mike.
01:22:19.000
Think about 2020, you're gonna be like overage.
01:22:35.000
We have to be careful, but we have to think what we left at.
01:23:04.000
When I open the village, there is a non-Nutella.
01:24:04.000
From a garbage country, from a garbage culture.
01:24:12.000
We all need to be brave and never stop fighting.