Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E132 - BERNIE WAR [2020-03-03 - S02E132

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin.

00:00:20.000 You never meant to be me, never meant to be us.

00:00:27.000 Never meant for all of this, never meant for you to love, never meant for you to trust.

00:00:34.000 So I'll take my time next time and I'll do she is from Africa.

00:00:48.000 She is from Cameroon, she eats the poo-poo.

00:00:55.000 That is Lekita Tamco from Cameroon.

00:01:00.000 Very talented young lady.

00:01:01.000 That's this from her second album.

00:01:03.000 What's it called?

00:01:04.000 None such?

00:01:06.000 And ooh, what's going on there?

00:01:09.000 Lots of toes.

00:01:11.000 Black ladies, grow your hair long.

00:01:14.000 All ladies, grow your hair long.

00:01:16.000 Remember at Roger Stone's trial, one of the black women had short hair and the black preacher that was with Roger goes, that's not good.

00:01:26.000 When black women have short hair, it means I don't need a man.

00:01:28.000 I'm not interested.

00:01:30.000 You know you're in trouble when black women have short hair on your jury.

00:01:34.000 But when black women have short hair on your jukebox, things are going well.

00:01:40.000 Vagabond.

00:01:42.000 Been around since 2016.

00:01:43.000 That album is 2019.

00:01:45.000 And the first album was more rock.

00:01:47.000 She's a rock guitarist, really.

00:01:49.000 But this one, she's using a lot more electronic music.

00:01:51.000 And it's a lot of fun.

00:01:55.000 In the news today, stop him, Joe.

00:01:58.000 Dems rally to foil Bernie.

00:02:02.000 You know what?

00:02:03.000 You want to hear an unpopular opinion?

00:02:06.000 They're right.

00:02:08.000 They should foil Bernie.

00:02:10.000 Say you're a Democrat and you believe that Trump is ruining America.

00:02:13.000 Say you represent that, whatever it is, half the country, right?

00:02:17.000 You should pull out all the stops to save this country from this evil white supremacist, Donald Trump.

00:02:22.000 And in doing so, you should play dirty pool and do whatever you can to get rid of Bernie because Bernie is a socialist.

00:02:28.000 Boomers hate socialists because they pay tax.

00:02:32.000 And boomers vote.

00:02:33.000 So everyone was making fun of their America versus socialism CPAC thing, but it was effective.

00:02:42.000 You know, young people don't pay tax.

00:02:43.000 They don't understand how the country works.

00:02:46.000 Old people do.

00:02:48.000 So I think what's happening right now is Biden is popular in the South because he has that sort of good old boy way of talking, and they don't like uppity Jews.

00:03:01.000 By the way, a Jew is never going to win as president.

00:03:04.000 I don't have a problem with that.

00:03:06.000 I'm a Jewophile.

00:03:08.000 Jews surround me at all times.

00:03:10.000 I'm from Montreal and New York.

00:03:11.000 I've never not been around Jews.

00:03:13.000 But they're barely 3% of the population.

00:03:17.000 And I don't care what you are.

00:03:19.000 You're never going to be president if you're barely 3% of the population.

00:03:22.000 So Bernie's not happening.

00:03:23.000 And the way he talks, it's confusing to people.

00:03:27.000 When they hear him in the South, they don't know what to do.

00:03:30.000 So that puts all your eggs on Biden.

00:03:33.000 One minor problem with that, Biden is a retard.

00:03:37.000 And I know Tucker Carlson is having a fantastic time with this because we all really want Biden to run.

00:03:43.000 It's like boxing.

00:03:44.000 You don't want some amateur like Bernie Sanders coming up against Trump.

00:03:48.000 That's just going to be one knockout punch in the first round.

00:03:50.000 I want some sparring.

00:03:52.000 And when this guy is as colorful as Joe Biden is and so replete with gaffes like Biden is, bring it on.

00:04:03.000 I included some montages of his idiocy.

00:04:07.000 So you're on unfiltered politics on Instagram.

00:04:09.000 Good.

00:04:10.000 That's a great Instagram page.

00:04:12.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident.

00:04:15.000 All men and women are created.

00:04:17.000 Go, you know the thing.

00:04:19.000 Just pause.

00:04:22.000 So you were there.

00:04:23.000 We know these truths to be self-evident.

00:04:26.000 All men and women are created equal.

00:04:28.000 He was one word away.

00:04:30.000 And he goes, you know the thing.

00:04:33.000 That thing about us all being equal.

00:04:36.000 Who do blacks like more, Biden or Bernie?

00:04:40.000 That's a tough one.

00:04:43.000 Tomorrow's Superstar Tuesday, and I want to thank you all.

00:04:47.000 I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?

00:04:50.000 And I want to speak directly to the Democrats here in Texas.

00:04:53.000 Oh, fuck.

00:04:54.000 We owe these truths to be self-evident.

00:04:56.000 All men and women created by the go, you know the thing.

00:05:02.000 That might be a soundbite.

00:05:04.000 Every time I'm confused, you just like, go, yo, you know the thing.

00:05:11.000 Go, yo, you know the thing.

00:05:13.000 Also, he said it was tomorrow is Superstar Tuesday.

00:05:18.000 I think it was like Sunday when he said that.

00:05:20.000 So he got the day wrong.

00:05:24.000 What the fuck is Superstar Tuesday?

00:05:26.000 Does he mean like Fat Tuesday before Lent?

00:05:30.000 Anyway, what's this now?

00:05:32.000 150 million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability.

00:05:41.000 My name's Joe Biden.

00:05:42.000 I'm a Democratic candidate for the United States Senate.

00:05:45.000 Look me over.

00:05:46.000 You're like what you see.

00:05:47.000 If not, vote for the other by give me a look, though, okay?

00:05:47.000 Help out.

00:05:50.000 Right here in the state of North South Carolina.

00:05:55.000 But guess what?

00:05:56.000 If you luck me, I'm not going to have you.

00:05:57.000 Your taxes are going to be raised, not cut, if you can benefit from that.

00:06:01.000 Now we need to stand behind Jamie Harrison.

00:06:04.000 Yes.

00:06:05.000 The next serve.

00:06:07.000 South Carolina.

00:06:09.000 Thank you.

00:06:10.000 Well, I'm looking forward to appointing the first African-American woman to the United States Senate.

00:06:17.000 To the United States Senate?

00:06:18.000 Isn't there time?

00:06:19.000 Thank you very much.

00:06:19.000 All right, Chuck.

00:06:21.000 All right.

00:06:22.000 It's Chris, but anyway.

00:06:23.000 I just did Chris.

00:06:25.000 No, no, I just did Chuck.

00:06:27.000 I tell you what, man, these are back-to-back.

00:06:29.000 Anyway, you do it early in the morning, too.

00:06:33.000 We call these shoes to be self-evident.

00:06:35.000 Oh, they got that one.

00:06:36.000 That's going to be his winner, right?

00:06:38.000 Although, my favorite is the parking lot.

00:06:43.000 Actually, see if you can find that.

00:06:45.000 We talked about it the other day.

00:06:46.000 Oh, there's one left.

00:06:47.000 Super Tuesday.

00:06:48.000 And I want to thank you all.

00:06:50.000 I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?

00:06:52.000 Oh, Superstar Suze.

00:06:54.000 Superstar Suze.

00:06:56.000 He did this long, long, long time.

00:06:59.000 We talked about this on the other show.

00:07:00.000 Where blacks in the 50s would wear bathing caps, and they looked like Ethel Merman, who was that, there's no business-like show business.

00:07:14.000 So this guy's on the diving board, and he's doing something he shouldn't.

00:07:17.000 And he says to this black guy, when he's a lifeguard in the hood, hey, Ethel, get out of here.

00:07:23.000 You're kicked out.

00:07:24.000 I've told you too many times to get off that diving board.

00:07:24.000 You're kicked out.

00:07:27.000 And so they wait from outside with the straight razor.

00:07:30.000 And so he's nervous and he talks to another lifeguard there, wraps a chain around his fingers, around his fist, and he comes out and he goes, look, I'm not going to apologize for calling you Ethel.

00:07:41.000 I mean, I am going to apologize for calling you Ethel.

00:07:42.000 I'm not going to apologize for kicking you out.

00:07:44.000 And because he had his chain there, and he did apologize for the bad part, they were cool.

00:07:49.000 Now, I just told that story in, I think, 12 seconds.

00:07:52.000 His version takes about a day.

00:07:56.000 I won't subject you to the entire thing.

00:07:59.000 Well, make sure you got it right first.

00:08:02.000 Wait, what just happened, Ryan?

00:08:05.000 Why are you don't show us doing your heart?

00:08:07.000 What is Joe Biden's vision for America?

00:08:09.000 You know, he's out on the campaign trail.

00:08:12.000 Reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was trade and then watch the hair come back up again.

00:08:19.000 How did you find that?

00:08:21.000 Did you look up lifeguard straight razor, chain?

00:08:25.000 Lifeguard story chain.

00:08:27.000 Okay.

00:08:29.000 So, guys, you lost.

00:08:32.000 And they just can't seem to handle when they lose.

00:08:34.000 By the way, remember I said my back hurt skipping rope yesterday, and then I get shot in the back because someone has a voodoo doll in me, and then I have to stumble down and sit in a chair.

00:08:44.000 Apparently, I've been talking to a lot of guys at the gym.

00:08:46.000 This is common.

00:08:48.000 One dude, Julian, was taking a shit, and then all of a sudden he went to wipe and went and had to lie down for an hour.

00:08:54.000 Or the owner, it happened to him.

00:08:57.000 He said, my legs are paralyzed.

00:08:58.000 I couldn't move for two hours.

00:09:00.000 And I thought, I'm going to go to my, I started getting a personal trainer because cheating with drugs didn't work, and I'm going to start doing personal training to try to get ripped legitimately, the real way.

00:09:10.000 And it might be from that same podium, Ryan.

00:09:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:15.000 And by the way, you know, I sit on the stand and it get hot.

00:09:19.000 I got a lot of, I got hairy legs.

00:09:20.000 No, not it.

00:09:23.000 The only one is from the Young Turks, and I just tried to avoid going to that one.

00:09:28.000 Why?

00:09:29.000 It's because it's the Young Turks.

00:09:31.000 We don't give a fuck where the source is.

00:09:34.000 Anyway, I went and worked out, very strenuous, you know, weights and all this shit.

00:09:38.000 Back didn't hurt at all.

00:09:39.000 I think when the blood flows, it kills the pain.

00:09:44.000 And then I went, oh, so I guess I cured it.

00:09:46.000 And then, you know, a couple hours later, back into pain.

00:09:49.000 Moral of the story is, just because your back is put out, don't avoid a workout.

00:09:56.000 Still, I don't know if boxing is for me.

00:09:57.000 I'm always going to go, don't get me wrong.

00:10:00.000 But what's this?

00:10:02.000 This is Sam Cedar.

00:10:03.000 Oh, great.

00:10:06.000 And there weren't a lot of three-meter board.

00:10:09.000 If you fell off sideways, you landed on the darn cement over there.

00:10:15.000 And Corn Pop was a bad dude.

00:10:18.000 And he ran away.

00:10:18.000 What's the bad motherfucker?

00:10:20.000 He's a bad nude.

00:10:22.000 And back in those days, things have changed.

00:10:25.000 One of the things you had to use, if you used pomade in your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap.

00:10:31.000 And so he was up on the board one list and I said, hey, Esther, you, off the board, I'll come up and drag you off.

00:10:37.000 So basically, oh, he must be a Bernie bro.

00:10:47.000 That's why he's making fun of Biden.

00:10:49.000 Real civil war here with the young libs focusing on Bernie and the old libs focusing on Biden.

00:10:55.000 Both are going to lose.

00:10:58.000 Anyway, it's a hell of a clip if you can find it.

00:11:01.000 Maybe they're working hard to kill it.

00:11:04.000 There's some weird things.

00:11:05.000 Like, I remember I was talking to a guy from Postmillennial down at CPAC, and he said he was doing an article on Justin Trudeau's dad, Pierre Trudeau, who was also prime minister.

00:11:14.000 And Margaret Trudeau talked about when Pierre Trudeau smashed her in the face because he thought she was flirting with someone else.

00:11:22.000 And she goes, it felt so good when he did that because it showed that he cared.

00:11:28.000 Just like the Crystal song.

00:11:30.000 He hit me and it felt like a kiss.

00:11:35.000 I think you might be onto something.

00:11:36.000 Look at this.

00:11:36.000 So I click the Microsoft News link.

00:11:39.000 Error can't be found.

00:11:41.000 And then you go to the Washington Post.

00:11:45.000 We're unable to find the page you requested.

00:11:48.000 Isn't that weird?

00:11:48.000 Yeah.

00:11:49.000 So what's going on here is this is all part of the campaign.

00:11:53.000 And once again, the way the news is reported tells you more than the news.

00:11:58.000 That's how I get my news now.

00:11:59.000 I get my news by watching the way the news is reported.

00:12:03.000 So if Haiti, if the riots in Haiti are being totally ignored, then I know that there's some very severe riots going on in Haiti right now.

00:12:11.000 And the press is petrified of that hurting the narrative.

00:12:15.000 But anyway, post-millennial dude, so he tried to look it up because he remembers reading that as a kid.

00:12:19.000 He's Canadian.

00:12:20.000 And it's just gone.

00:12:22.000 Scrubbed from the web.

00:12:23.000 You can scrub things from the web.

00:12:25.000 Conversely, you can add things to the web and you can use the web to control your narrative.

00:12:30.000 For example, before this Proud Boy shit happened and those guys were arrested, before the DNC wanted to use me as the leader of hate, a hate spouse, terror spouse, sorry, my Wikipedia was like Gavin McInnis, Canadian, British, American, comedian guy, funny dude, whatever.

00:12:48.000 Worked at Vice, started Vice.

00:12:51.000 Now, Alexa, as the caller yesterday pointed out, or sorry, the letter yesterday pointed out, it says that I am a violent, I promote violence against my political enemies.

00:13:02.000 We talked about this on yesterday's show.

00:13:03.000 I'm thinking, that fucking Alexa is in my children's rooms, my son's rooms and my daughter's room.

00:13:11.000 So when they ask who their dad is.

00:13:12.000 So you can effectively control the American psyche by taking away stories and adding stories.

00:13:19.000 That's where we're at right now.

00:13:20.000 That's why you have to come to places like censored.tv to get the truth.

00:13:25.000 And speaking of the truth, Chris Matthews is out for raping tons of chicks in their assholes at knife point as they screamed.

00:13:33.000 And then he would threaten their families if they reported him.

00:13:36.000 So he was finally caught.

00:13:38.000 They did DNA on the buttholes and they discovered penile tissue that linked to his penis.

00:13:44.000 And so he'll be going to jail for the rest of his life.

00:13:48.000 Let's just see how close that is to the truth.

00:13:51.000 Let me start with my headline tonight.

00:13:53.000 I'm retiring.

00:13:54.000 This is the last Hardball on MSNBC.

00:13:56.000 And obviously, this isn't for lack of interest in politics.

00:14:00.000 As you can tell, I've loved every minute of my 20 years as host of Hardball.

00:14:04.000 Every morning I read the papers and gung-ho to get to work.

00:14:07.000 Not many people have had this privilege.

00:14:10.000 I love working with my producers and the discussions we have over how to report the news.

00:14:14.000 And I love having this place for people who watch.

00:14:18.000 I've learned who you are, bumping into you on the sidewalk or waiting at an airport and saying hello.

00:14:23.000 You're like me.

00:14:24.000 I hear it from your kids and grandchildren.

00:14:26.000 You say, my dad loves yourself.

00:14:28.000 You're so horny, you can't control yourself.

00:14:31.000 After a conversation with MSNBC, I decided tonight will be my last hardball.

00:14:35.000 So let me tell you why.

00:14:36.000 The younger generations out there are ready to take the reins.

00:14:39.000 We see them in politics, in the media, in fighting for their causes.

00:14:43.000 They are improving the workplace.

00:14:45.000 We're talking here about better standards than we grew up with.

00:14:48.000 Just pause.

00:14:48.000 Fair standards.

00:14:50.000 So not only do you get fired for nothing, and I'm about to get to the rape that didn't happen.

00:14:57.000 I was being a little hyperbolic.

00:15:00.000 Not only do you get fired for flirting, which is what really happened, but you have to cock to the person framing you and say, hey, she's wonderful.

00:15:13.000 The woman who's lying about me and getting me fired is amazing.

00:15:17.000 This is the new MO.

00:15:19.000 This is the way it works now.

00:15:20.000 Talk about Stalinist Russia.

00:15:23.000 Not only do you have to take the abuse, but you have to get on TV and talk about how awesome it is.

00:15:29.000 This is like what Stalin would.

00:15:31.000 Stalin used to keep people awake all night and then say, why don't you represent yourself on trial?

00:15:36.000 Not all night, for days and days.

00:15:37.000 And they would get on the stand and they would talk about themselves and how they're guilty and they would recommend the death penalty for themselves because they went nuts with lack of sleep.

00:15:47.000 This is just as Stalinist, where these fake victims ruin your career.

00:15:52.000 And this is purely political, by the way.

00:15:54.000 Matthews was causing trouble.

00:15:56.000 He was shitting on Bernie Sanders.

00:15:58.000 He was saying Bernie Sanders was going to lead to some mass shootings and genocide.

00:16:04.000 And they wanted him gone.

00:16:05.000 So what did they do?

00:16:06.000 They dug up some bitch from two, three years ago who was uncomfortable, put that into the foreground, pretended it was a major problem right now.

00:16:17.000 And they probably said, look, dude, you can get an incredible severance package, $17 million, or you can stay here, ruin the brand, ruin your legacy, ruin everything, and leave with like $3 million.

00:16:32.000 Meanwhile, his legacy is still ruined.

00:16:34.000 Forever, he'll be Chris Matthews, the guy who ended because he was a, well, I think the general perception will be because he was a disgusting creep who was always this lecherous drooling pig who was always trying to fuck his female staffers.

00:16:49.000 That will be the legacy for Chris Matthews.

00:16:52.000 And I don't think it's true.

00:16:53.000 But keep going.

00:16:55.000 It has to do with how we talk to each other.

00:16:57.000 Compliments on a woman's appearance that some men, including me, might have once incorrectly thought were okay, were never okay.

00:17:05.000 Not then and certainly not today.

00:17:06.000 And for making such a matter of time.

00:17:08.000 Our father's generation would never do this.

00:17:10.000 Our father's generation, the Don Cherries of the world, would never sit there and say, she's right, I'm wrong, I'm a disgusting pig.

00:17:17.000 She lives by a better standard than me.

00:17:20.000 They would say, fuck you, and die with their boots on.

00:17:22.000 This guy is dying with his high.

00:17:24.000 He's fucking dying with his heels on.

00:17:26.000 Yeah.

00:17:28.000 I'm sorry.

00:17:29.000 I'm very proud of the work I've done here.

00:17:32.000 Long before I went on television, I worked for years in politics, was a newspaper columnist, an author, an amateur radio, and working in another book.

00:17:38.000 I'll continue to write and talk about politics and cheer on my producers and crew here in Washington and New York and my MSNBC colleagues.

00:17:47.000 They will continue to produce great journalism in the years ahead.

00:17:50.000 And for those of you who have gotten in the habit of watching Hardball every night, I hope you're going to miss me because I'm going to miss you.

00:17:56.000 But remembering Humphrey Bogart and Casablanca, we'll always have Hardball.

00:18:00.000 So let's not say goodbye, but till we meet again.

00:18:04.000 All right.

00:18:05.000 So how, let me tell you some examples of when I would think this was appropriate.

00:18:13.000 There's a woman in the bathroom changing.

00:18:15.000 And as she opens the door, he opens the door and pushes his way in and goes, you're so fucking hot.

00:18:20.000 It's driving me insane.

00:18:21.000 And she goes, Chris, get away from me.

00:18:22.000 Get away from me.

00:18:23.000 And he pushes his crotch into her.

00:18:25.000 He's like, I'm not getting away from you.

00:18:26.000 I must have you.

00:18:27.000 I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary.

00:18:31.000 That kind of thing.

00:18:32.000 And if that happens, that's sexual assault.

00:18:36.000 Call the cops.

00:18:38.000 Don't sit there and say, that could hurt my career.

00:18:41.000 Put something up my buns.

00:18:43.000 And I don't give a shit about my career.

00:18:45.000 I'm calling the cops.

00:18:46.000 And if you don't call the cops, you are furthering, you are enabling him to do it again.

00:18:53.000 So you are culpable in future sexual assaults.

00:18:56.000 Say that bathroom scenario happened and she let it go.

00:18:59.000 She's now partly responsible for the next time he does that.

00:19:03.000 But we don't want to make that public because we don't want to discourage reporting.

00:19:08.000 Well, I think it's time to encourage reporting rather than be petrified of discouraging reporting.

00:19:14.000 So listen to what actually happened.

00:19:16.000 Her name is Laura Bassett.

00:19:21.000 Bassett.

00:19:22.000 Bassett.

00:19:23.000 She is a 6.9.

00:19:27.000 Really?

00:19:28.000 Yep.

00:19:29.000 In 2017, I wrote a personal essay about a much older married cable news host who inappropriately flirted with me in the makeup room a few times before we went live on a show, making me noticeably uncomfortable on air.

00:19:39.000 He sabotaged me.

00:19:40.000 She probably sucked on air and is now trying to find an excuse for it.

00:19:44.000 He just wanted her to suck off Arizona.

00:19:48.000 Maybe you sucked on air because you weren't prepared and you're not good at this job and you'd be happier at home.

00:19:55.000 I was afraid to name him for fear of retaliation from the network.

00:20:01.000 Very difficult retaliation.

00:20:03.000 I'm not anymore.

00:20:04.000 Why aren't you anymore?

00:20:06.000 Why all of a sudden, three years later, are you willing to name names?

00:20:12.000 Is it possibly because insiders have decided this man is hurting the DNC's campaign?

00:20:18.000 He's not a good Democrat?

00:20:20.000 It was Chris Matthews.

00:20:22.000 There I said it.

00:20:23.000 In 2016, right before I had to go on his show and talk about sexual assault allegations against Donald Trump, which were equally ridiculous, Matthews looked over at me in the makeup chair next to him and said, you ready for this?

00:20:35.000 This is pretty horrible.

00:20:36.000 Now, I should probably put a warning on, ladies who are watching this show, you're going to hear this and you're going to have rape nightmares, possibly for the rest of your lives.

00:20:44.000 Are you ready to be raped?

00:20:46.000 Why haven't I fallen in love with you yet?

00:20:53.000 Hello.

00:20:55.000 When I laughed nervously and said nothing, he followed up to the makeup artist.

00:21:00.000 Keep putting makeup on her.

00:21:01.000 I'll fall in love with her.

00:21:04.000 It's corny flattery.

00:21:07.000 It's old man flirting that is asexual.

00:21:11.000 He's trying to say, you look very pretty.

00:21:14.000 He's telling the makeup artist she's doing a good job.

00:21:16.000 He's trying to boost her ego so she feels confident when she goes on the show.

00:21:20.000 Now, it didn't work, probably because of the age gap.

00:21:23.000 And she says that she went on and she was noticeably uncomfortable on the show.

00:21:28.000 Okay, maybe that was because of his compliments.

00:21:31.000 But is this threatening?

00:21:32.000 Why haven't I fallen in love with you yet?

00:21:35.000 Oh my God.

00:21:37.000 These women need to see what us New Yorkers in media have to deal with with homosexuals.

00:21:43.000 They're grabbing our ass and saying, I would suck you off right now.

00:21:48.000 Once we get a good rapport with them, they really stop holding back and it's fucking disgusting.

00:21:53.000 And we go, okay.

00:21:54.000 We don't have nightmares.

00:21:56.000 That was too much of indecence.

00:21:59.000 A fellow cable news pundit who doesn't want to be named for professional reasons, why the fuck not, you stupid bitches.

00:22:08.000 Name names.

00:22:11.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.

00:22:14.000 If this is the crisis you say it is, then we should know their names.

00:22:18.000 We should out it all.

00:22:20.000 We're going to be mad at you for saying that you were, that you were molested?

00:22:25.000 I mean, I guess I'll tell you what.

00:22:27.000 If your allegation is bullshit, then yeah, you probably should keep it to yourself because we'll make fun of you on this show.

00:22:32.000 Why haven't I fallen in love with you yet?

00:22:34.000 Okay, so here's the other chick.

00:22:37.000 She was invited to talk about misogyny and comparison to Mad Man.

00:22:41.000 Right before going on there, he turned to her and asked, whether, you ready for this neutron bomb?

00:22:46.000 Again, ladies, turn away from the set.

00:22:49.000 Shut off your headphones.

00:22:50.000 You're about to hear rape words.

00:22:55.000 He asked whether Joan's proportions are real.

00:22:59.000 Now, if you recall, Joan was the pokritudinist redhead that was on the show.

00:23:07.000 And Chris Matthews was talking to her.

00:23:11.000 By the way, that's how we all talk.

00:23:13.000 Ladies, you finally broke the glass ceiling.

00:23:16.000 You're in with the big boys.

00:23:17.000 That's how we talk.

00:23:18.000 Hey, you think Joan's tits are real?

00:23:19.000 Yeah, I kind of get a real vibe from it.

00:23:21.000 She doesn't seem like a fake tit type.

00:23:23.000 What are you showing me there?

00:23:25.000 That Joan Walsh from Harball?

00:23:28.000 Holy fuck, you're retarded.

00:23:30.000 Oh.

00:23:31.000 Were you listening?

00:23:32.000 Yeah, Joan.

00:23:33.000 From the show Madmen, you fucking retard.

00:23:38.000 Yeah, they were all talking about her tits.

00:23:42.000 Not this woman's tits.

00:23:43.000 The other woman's tits.

00:23:46.000 The tenacious research of Ryan O. Rivera.

00:23:51.000 Yeah, so everyone asks that.

00:23:53.000 And it's a reasonable question.

00:23:55.000 And I'm 90% sure they're real.

00:23:57.000 Look, see, I'm having the discussion now in a literal way.

00:24:02.000 She was shaken like I was at the time of publication.

00:24:06.000 MSNBC had not responded for comment.

00:24:09.000 So this is my beef.

00:24:13.000 This was four years ago.

00:24:14.000 How about these women coming out and talking about how much they regret not mentioning this sooner?

00:24:18.000 That would be a cool angle for these things.

00:24:21.000 I was molested.

00:24:23.000 I was assaulted.

00:24:26.000 I was raped.

00:24:28.000 And I didn't do anything about it.

00:24:30.000 And now it means nothing because there's no evidence.

00:24:32.000 I implore other girls, especially young girls, don't wait.

00:24:38.000 Handle it immediately.

00:24:39.000 Now that is an angle I can get behind.

00:24:42.000 They waited about 40 and 45 minutes.

00:24:46.000 Well, actually, Timothy Hutton is in trouble.

00:24:49.000 And she waited 30, 30, 34 years, 30, 40, 45 minutes.

00:24:54.000 30, 34, 34 years.

00:24:56.000 40 and 45 years.

00:24:57.000 No, 30, 34, 34, 30, 34 years.

00:25:01.000 40 and 45.

00:25:02.000 No, 30, 34.

00:25:03.000 40 and 45.

00:25:04.000 No, 34.

00:25:05.000 Actually, exactly 34 years.

00:25:09.000 So this chick says, when Timothy Hutton, 34 years ago, when she was 14, he raped her.

00:25:20.000 He forced his way inside her, and his friend put his penis, not Timothy's penis, the friend's own, very own penis, into her mouth.

00:25:30.000 She said, no.

00:25:31.000 He said, stop doing that.

00:25:32.000 That's not working.

00:25:36.000 And BuzzFeed, of course, sorry, BuzzFeed is 1.6.

00:25:41.000 They just run with it.

00:25:42.000 They show a nice picture of her looking sad, forlorn.

00:25:46.000 And they just, like, isn't this journalistic malfeasance?

00:25:51.000 I know it's the cat blog BuzzFeed, but to just go up to some chick with a 34-year-old story and say, oh, you're raped?

00:25:57.000 Okay, let's throw it down with zero evidence?

00:26:01.000 Aren't editors supposed to go, I need something to hang my hat on there?

00:26:04.000 I just can't run a full story like this.

00:26:07.000 So their evidence is that, I don't know, that they told it to friends at the time or something.

00:26:14.000 That's not evidence.

00:26:16.000 But Timothy Hutton's contention is he goes, last March, an ex-boyfriend of this girl's reached out to the other guy and said he offered to personally broker some sort of deal.

00:26:30.000 In other words, they said, we're about to come down hard on you for this rape, and you could make it a lot better if you paid for it.

00:26:38.000 By the way, that's just as bad as what I'm talking before.

00:26:40.000 Let's say it happened.

00:26:41.000 I don't think it did.

00:26:42.000 Let's say it happened.

00:26:45.000 You have some culpability here.

00:26:47.000 If you're just asking for money, now you're just an expensive prostitute.

00:26:51.000 Now you're part of the exchange.

00:26:53.000 Now it's just a business exchange.

00:26:55.000 Say he gave her 40 grand.

00:26:57.000 You were just fucked for 40 grand.

00:26:59.000 That's not the way the law works.

00:27:00.000 That's in fact illegal.

00:27:02.000 Yeah, why don't these people who get settlements get charged with prostitution?

00:27:07.000 It's illegal what they're doing.

00:27:10.000 And it's fucking wrong.

00:27:12.000 And it pisses me off.

00:27:14.000 Speaking of pissed off, Steven Spielberg's daughter is in the news.

00:27:17.000 She's an adopted African-American person of color.

00:27:21.000 And she's doing porn.

00:27:24.000 She's married to some very old guy, so she has daddy issues.

00:27:28.000 And this is 19.

00:27:31.000 One alarming thing I found in this article was at a young age, she was groomed and abused by predators.

00:27:41.000 Now, this is all, I don't want to get sued here.

00:27:45.000 Why don't you show the article, Shit for Brains?

00:27:49.000 I don't want to get sued here, but I, for many, many years, many years, have said, I get a bad feeling from Spielberg.

00:27:59.000 I get a bad pedophile vibe.

00:28:03.000 And a lot of people who adopt kids are wonderful creatures.

00:28:06.000 Some of them seem to be kind of gross.

00:28:08.000 And I'm worried that Steven Spielberg might be one of them.

00:28:11.000 I'm worried that he adopted her with sexual plans in mind.

00:28:14.000 She was groomed and abused by predators.

00:28:18.000 And you go, Gavin, where are you getting this from?

00:28:20.000 All right.

00:28:26.000 Many, many years ago, I was reading this, Answer Me.

00:28:30.000 Now, this is a compilation.

00:28:32.000 This is Jim Goad's magazine, Answer Me.

00:28:34.000 Very raunchy magazine.

00:28:36.000 I'm not sure I can, like, here, I just open it up and it's about Richard Ramirez, the nice stalker.

00:28:42.000 Gorgeous teen idol Richard, the night stalker, Ramirez, blows a kiss to his fans and promises I'll be out of jail soon.

00:28:42.000 What a hunk.

00:28:50.000 So that's the level of grossness that you would get from Answer Me.

00:28:55.000 But it was mass murderers and clowns and good music too.

00:29:00.000 And it was Jim Goad, really.

00:29:02.000 And it was a major influence on vice, major influence.

00:29:05.000 It kind of defined my writing style my entire career.

00:29:09.000 But anyway, here's an article on page 114.

00:29:13.000 Pederastic Park.

00:29:16.000 Not by Jim Goad, but by Adam Parfrey.

00:29:20.000 And there we have Coop doing a really good illustration of Steven Spielberg spanking the bottom of some Peter Pan type.

00:29:29.000 But he really gets deep into it and talks about how strange Steven Spielberg is.

00:29:35.000 He even talks about Jurassic Park and how a lot of pedophiles will use like big scary monsters to sort of intimidate you into silence.

00:29:44.000 I couldn't help but think when I watched E.T., there was an element of that.

00:29:50.000 I actually wrote an article in Vice, like Voice of Montreal, about, I went through E.T very carefully and I recommend you do the same and just watch it from the angle of, is this written by a pedophile?

00:30:01.000 Because there's some weird shit in that movie.

00:30:04.000 And I couldn't help but think that E.T. represents how you feel as a pedophile.

00:30:10.000 Like, I'm ugly.

00:30:12.000 I scare.

00:30:12.000 Girls see me and run away.

00:30:14.000 But I'm actually a sweet, sweet thing that just wants to touch your finger.

00:30:19.000 Allow me into your life.

00:30:20.000 The authorities, they want to take me away.

00:30:24.000 They want to hurt me.

00:30:25.000 They want to strap me to a gurney and throw me in a cage and dissect me.

00:30:29.000 I'm safest as a secret.

00:30:31.000 Shh.

00:30:32.000 Just don't tell anyone.

00:30:34.000 And there's candy.

00:30:35.000 And I'll stay here with the candy and I'll hide in your closet and we can touch fingers, okay?

00:30:43.000 I love the bad boys.

00:30:45.000 And a cross-dresser.

00:30:46.000 Don't trust mommy.

00:30:47.000 Don't trust authority.

00:30:49.000 Don't tell the police.

00:30:50.000 Okay?

00:30:51.000 I'm safest with you.

00:30:54.000 The authorities, they want to hurt me and they want to take me away.

00:30:57.000 And then our special relationship is gone forever.

00:31:02.000 I want to fuck Drew Barrymore when she's a kid.

00:31:05.000 Don't be a snitch.

00:31:07.000 Is basically what we're getting from this.

00:31:09.000 Look, we can fly away together in a sexual, magical space and have so much fun.

00:31:17.000 That's what sex is like.

00:31:18.000 It's a spaceship.

00:31:20.000 Why do you keep rewinding it?

00:31:22.000 With the footage.

00:31:24.000 Enhance special effects.

00:31:28.000 Ryan, you're not good at this.

00:31:31.000 And there's a scene in it.

00:31:32.000 So there's so many weird scenes.

00:31:33.000 At one point, the big brother is yelling at the little brother.

00:31:36.000 And he goes, what would you know, cum breath?

00:31:40.000 Pardon me?

00:31:41.000 Big brothers don't call their little brothers cum breath.

00:31:46.000 How did he get cum on his breath, big brother?

00:31:49.000 That's quite a graphic, disgusting rape imagination you have there.

00:31:55.000 And there's another weird scene where they miss their dad.

00:31:59.000 I guess he's getting divorced or he's away on business or something.

00:32:02.000 And they find his shirt, I don't know, in the laundry or something or hanging on a coat hook or a chair.

00:32:06.000 And they go, one of them picks it up and he goes, smelling a white dress shirt.

00:32:16.000 And he goes, it smells like dad.

00:32:18.000 Smell it.

00:32:19.000 And then he hands it to his brother, who also goes, like the idea of my sons doing that to one of my shirts is not even in the same multi-universe farthest galaxy.

00:32:33.000 Never, ever would.

00:32:35.000 That's not how young boys are about their dad.

00:32:38.000 They might see a picture and go, I miss dad if I hadn't seen him in a year.

00:32:41.000 They don't smell his fucking shirts.

00:32:43.000 Oh, penis breath.

00:32:44.000 Sorry.

00:32:45.000 It was not cum breath.

00:32:49.000 Penis breath.

00:32:51.000 That's a pretty elaborate blowjob insult, is it not?

00:32:55.000 Anyway, there's more.

00:32:56.000 And I encourage you to research this on your own and make your own decisions.

00:33:00.000 But as we see in Jim Goad's book, oh, sorry, a game of how to play.

00:33:06.000 Look, this is the rape game just fell out of this magazine.

00:33:11.000 That kind of sums up what Answer Me was like.

00:33:14.000 That was the fourth issue, and everyone thought that went too far.

00:33:17.000 I think actually Richard de Ramirez, the Hillside Strangler, told Jim that he didn't like the rape issue.

00:33:23.000 He thought it went a little too far.

00:33:24.000 That's a mass murderer.

00:33:26.000 But anyway, there was a book.

00:33:28.000 See if you can dig this up.

00:33:29.000 There was a book, the pedophilic fantasy novel Dance of the Warriors.

00:33:35.000 And it's by a guy named Kevin Esser.

00:33:39.000 Dance of the Warriors.

00:33:40.000 And it features prepubescent boys dressed up with war paint and sort of like a mad Maxian orphan kind of a look.

00:33:49.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:33:52.000 Now, doesn't that remind you of Rufio and the gang from The Lost Boys of Hook?

00:34:01.000 Lots of body painting in that movie.

00:34:03.000 Here's Robin Williams.

00:34:04.000 You can't really see this, but here's Robin Williams having his body painted by The Lost Boys.

00:34:10.000 There's The Lost Boys there, right?

00:34:13.000 The Lost Boys of Peter Pan.

00:34:15.000 And there's the book we just showed you.

00:34:17.000 Do you see the similarity there?

00:34:20.000 Like it's one thing to make movies for kids.

00:34:24.000 It's another thing to make movies with kids for yourself.

00:34:29.000 And there's just something really fishy going on about this fucking pig, Steven Spielberg.

00:34:35.000 I can't prove it, but watch some of his movies with a more dubious eye.

00:34:42.000 Okay?

00:34:44.000 And speaking of, oh wait, Indiana Jones, he slept with like a child.

00:34:48.000 There was like a child in love with him and he was in love with her.

00:34:51.000 Remember?

00:34:52.000 Anthony always talks about.

00:34:53.000 Indiana Jones?

00:34:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:55.000 You don't mean big?

00:34:56.000 No.

00:35:00.000 He was in love with a child and a child was in love with him.

00:35:03.000 Yeah.

00:35:04.000 And you mean the little Asian boy?

00:35:06.000 No, there was a girl.

00:35:08.000 Oh.

00:35:09.000 He also talks about, here we go.

00:35:13.000 Indiana Jones was an abusive creep, but he was almost much worse.

00:35:18.000 Marion.

00:35:18.000 Hello, Marion.

00:35:19.000 Indiana Jones says, I'd always knew somebody'd walk through my door.

00:35:22.000 I never doubted that.

00:35:23.000 Something's so inevitable.

00:35:25.000 What are you doing in Nepal?

00:35:26.000 Father collected.

00:35:27.000 I want to know you.

00:35:28.000 Well, let's see.

00:35:29.000 I was in love.

00:35:29.000 I was a child.

00:35:30.000 It was wrong, and you knew it.

00:35:31.000 You knew what you were doing.

00:35:33.000 Do you hear that?

00:35:34.000 Yeah.

00:35:36.000 I was a child.

00:35:36.000 Wow.

00:35:38.000 I was in love.

00:35:39.000 It was wrong and you knew it.

00:35:41.000 And you'll notice, by the way, when a pedophile is called out for raping a child, the reaction is like, ha ha, now I do.

00:35:47.000 This is my place.

00:35:48.000 Get lost.

00:35:49.000 As opposed to like, and the movie's over.

00:35:54.000 No, it's like, you cad.

00:35:56.000 Well, you're a bum.

00:35:57.000 Get out of my office.

00:35:58.000 Yeah, I raped you and I do it again.

00:36:01.000 In other words, also sending the message to kids, like, don't fucking be a snitch or you'll just get kicked out.

00:36:08.000 Yeah, but Gavin, you're talking about these children and you're showing examples of them being brainwashed into not reporting.

00:36:14.000 Yes.

00:36:16.000 I'm also saying you have to overcome that stigma if you were raped and tell us about it, not ask for money or bring it up 30, 30, 34 years later.

00:36:29.000 That's fucking gross.

00:36:30.000 Does he have footage of that, though?

00:36:31.000 This is pretty bad.

00:36:34.000 The transcript of the meeting, because it was originally supposed to be worse.

00:36:38.000 And this guy says, I like it if they already had a relationship at one point because then you don't have to build it.

00:36:43.000 George Lucas says, guess he was like involved.

00:36:46.000 He says, I was thinking that this old guy could have been his mentor.

00:36:48.000 He could have known this little girl when she was just a kid.

00:36:50.000 He had an affair with her when she was 11.

00:36:53.000 And then he says, and he was 42.

00:36:55.000 And he says, yeah, he hasn't seen her 12 years.

00:36:57.000 Now she's 22.

00:36:58.000 A real strange relationship.

00:37:00.000 And then Spielberg said, she had better been older than 22.

00:37:03.000 Lucas says, he's 35, and he knew her 10 years ago when he was 25, and she was only 12.

00:37:11.000 It would be amusing to make her slightly young at the time.

00:37:13.000 And promiscuously.

00:37:14.000 And promiscuous.

00:37:15.000 Yeah, she came onto him when she was 11.

00:37:16.000 Wow.

00:37:17.000 She got super horny.

00:37:18.000 And then she has pictures of him.

00:37:21.000 15 is right on the edge.

00:37:22.000 I know it's an outrageous idea.

00:37:23.000 She has pictures of him.

00:37:26.000 They were body painting.

00:37:28.000 Wow.

00:37:31.000 We owe reprobates.

00:37:32.000 Aren't they all disgusting?

00:37:35.000 Speaking of disgusting, we should get Copper Cab on.

00:37:39.000 I was watching his last episode, episode 3.

00:37:42.000 It's just him eating food constantly.

00:37:44.000 Now, a long time ago, I'd said, I'll give you my channel and you can redeem yourself.

00:37:48.000 Stop screaming all the time.

00:37:50.000 Stop being a fucking pig.

00:37:51.000 Be a man.

00:37:52.000 Maybe meet girls.

00:37:53.000 Maybe have some romance thing.

00:37:54.000 You could even do a food show.

00:37:55.000 But he's just screaming his head off with dildos everywhere.

00:38:00.000 Buying food and eating.

00:38:03.000 Eating Sundays.

00:38:04.000 This is Copper Cab's show.

00:38:06.000 He's just being more of a fat, disgusting pig.

00:38:09.000 So I want to ask him about that.

00:38:11.000 Can you dig him up?

00:38:12.000 I know he's not easy to get a hold of because he's always sleeping.

00:38:16.000 And the only way you can get him to call you back is to offer him food money.

00:38:21.000 Food money.

00:38:22.000 But wait, before we get to Copper Cab, I want to look at something that was everyone's talking about.

00:38:30.000 It'll be old news tomorrow.

00:38:33.000 This family, I think, loses their mother and their house burns down.

00:38:36.000 This is 1.7.

00:38:38.000 And so the local news affiliate decides to save the day and help them by buying them a new house.

00:38:46.000 They took a collection, and there was a show based on this, but they took a collection in the community.

00:38:52.000 They managed to raise $90,000.

00:38:54.000 It's not a very wealthy neighborhood, so that bought them a beautiful new house.

00:38:57.000 So here is a guy presenting them with their brand new home.

00:39:03.000 Somebody's about to get an ABC 13 umbrella who's been going through a tough time recently.

00:39:09.000 So sorry, stop, stop.

00:39:12.000 I misspoke.

00:39:14.000 Like I did with Chris Hardball's rape.

00:39:17.000 It appears they're not getting a new home.

00:39:19.000 They're getting an umbrella.

00:39:22.000 Brand new.

00:39:23.000 Brand new.

00:39:24.000 I don't give people used umbrellas when their house burns down.

00:39:28.000 Here, go back.

00:39:29.000 Somebody's about to get an ABC-13 umbrella who's been going through a tough time recently.

00:39:35.000 So we're going to go meeting.

00:39:36.000 If the boss says this, say no.

00:39:38.000 The fire broke out at Mary's home on Mill Road in Clover Monday night and destroyed almost everything.

00:39:43.000 She held dear.

00:39:44.000 We're up to see my home burning up and then...

00:39:47.000 Finally, that night, my sister passed away on her way to my house.

00:39:51.000 Her daughter reached out to ABC 13 about her extraordinary loss.

00:39:55.000 Just passed away.

00:39:56.000 So her sister died.

00:39:57.000 I assume she had a heart attack from stress going to the fire.

00:40:00.000 And they're like, fear no more.

00:40:02.000 Things are changing.

00:40:03.000 Here's an umbrella.

00:40:04.000 You can even use it when it's not raining.

00:40:06.000 Look at that.

00:40:07.000 You can use it in the sun.

00:40:08.000 You can maybe save your last eye.

00:40:10.000 That's like wearing a party hat at a funeral.

00:40:13.000 It's just look at what they have her doing.

00:40:15.000 Her daughter reached out to ABC 13 about her extraordinary loss.

00:40:19.000 And today, chief meteorologist George Flickinger set out.

00:40:22.000 Even hated sunglasses.

00:40:24.000 Like, you're there to console someone.

00:40:26.000 Don't have sunglasses on your stupid women's pajama top.

00:40:31.000 We have an umbrella, and I've never actually signed one of these before.

00:40:35.000 Oh, what a.

00:40:37.000 You have your own ABC-13 umbrella.

00:40:41.000 Oh, okay.

00:40:42.000 To you, bringing you sunshine on a rainy day.

00:40:45.000 George and I got to talk with Mary and three of her daughters.

00:40:48.000 They traded in for $5,000.

00:40:50.000 Unfortunately, the meteorologist was stabbed in the chest with the umbrella, puncturing his heart.

00:40:55.000 And he joins the list of sad, tragic cases in this small town this week.

00:41:01.000 Back to you, Greg.

00:41:03.000 Just how tough things have been for their family.

00:41:06.000 Somebody's about to get an ABC.

00:41:08.000 That's crazy.

00:41:09.000 Pretty awesome, huh?

00:41:11.000 All right.

00:41:11.000 Now that we're in the right mood, we've had a palate cleanser.

00:41:15.000 If you're dealing with that kind of thing, whatever you bring that family has to be over $10,000.

00:41:21.000 I know a new home is a bit much, especially if you're doing collection, but start a GoFundMe or something.

00:41:27.000 Give her $10,000.

00:41:28.000 The station probably has $10,000.

00:41:30.000 Take a collection there, $1,000 each.

00:41:33.000 A signed ABC 13 umbrella.

00:41:37.000 I would be so embarrassed to have an umbrella that a meteorologist had signed.

00:41:42.000 It's a long story.

00:41:43.000 I did not ask for it.

00:41:44.000 You know, it's secretly the funniest thing that could have ever happened to them.

00:41:48.000 So maybe it's like, this dude gave us an umbrella afterwards.

00:41:51.000 You would never believe it.

00:41:52.000 Now they get to make fun of this guy.

00:41:54.000 Thank you, ABC 13.

00:41:55.000 Yeah.

00:41:56.000 But thank you more for having absolutely no grasp of reality.

00:42:01.000 Like, how could you not see that that was going to be ridiculed by everyone in the world all the way from your shitty town up to New York City?

00:42:10.000 Not that New York City isn't shitty.

00:42:11.000 Thank you, de Blasio.

00:42:12.000 All right, let's get Copper Cab on.

00:42:21.000 Copper Cab.

00:42:22.000 It really waters me down.

00:42:25.000 Hi, Gavin.

00:42:25.000 Hello?

00:42:26.000 How are you doing?

00:42:28.000 Not great.

00:42:28.000 Hi.

00:42:29.000 I've been trying to get a hold of you for a while.

00:42:34.000 Aww, I'm sorry.

00:42:36.000 I just got confused because I thought you were already here.

00:42:38.000 See, I just took a fat fucking shit and I thought it was you.

00:42:42.000 I thought you were here with me already.

00:42:44.000 I thought I was doing the interview.

00:42:46.000 I was in the back room talking to the shit.

00:42:49.000 Thinking it was you, Gavin.

00:42:50.000 Well, I see you do something besides eat.

00:42:53.000 That was refreshing.

00:42:56.000 Yeah, Gavin.

00:42:57.000 Everyone shits.

00:42:58.000 Even feminists.

00:43:00.000 What?

00:43:00.000 What is on your forehead?

00:43:04.000 What's on my forehead?

00:43:05.000 Oh, you don't know what that is?

00:43:07.000 That's the feminist symbol.

00:43:09.000 That's the female symbol.

00:43:10.000 That's a sign.

00:43:11.000 I'm wearing it for the rest of the year and on your show to get across the point.

00:43:15.000 That man can also support women.

00:43:20.000 Okay.

00:43:21.000 You know, judging by what I've seen from your show so far, it should just be a hamburger on your forehead.

00:43:27.000 Because all you do is eat.

00:43:29.000 It's like when you came here to New York and your first priority was, I need food money.

00:43:35.000 What?

00:43:37.000 I said, I have to eat.

00:43:38.000 If I don't eat, I will die.

00:43:40.000 Don't you understand that?

00:43:41.000 We don't all feed off of pure fucking hatred like you, you piece of shit.

00:43:46.000 I don't see you starving to death anytime soon.

00:43:48.000 You could go on a hunger strike and we'd check in on you in about a year.

00:43:54.000 Why would you fat?

00:43:55.000 Why are you trying to fat-shame me?

00:43:57.000 You think that this is fat?

00:43:59.000 You think that this is fat?

00:44:00.000 This is pure fucking manliness.

00:44:02.000 More manly than you ever were.

00:44:04.000 The reason I gave you a show was to redeem yourself.

00:44:08.000 And I hope that you, now that you're over this stupid trans shit, that you could show that you could be a normal human being.

00:44:14.000 And I tune in to like last episode, for example, and you're just getting Sundays, getting hamburgers, going to Pen Aaron.

00:44:21.000 You have to eat, Kevin.

00:44:23.000 I have to eat.

00:44:25.000 Everyone wants a Sunday, okay?

00:44:27.000 It's not a big deal.

00:44:28.000 And you know what?

00:44:28.000 I've taken with that money that you've given me.

00:44:32.000 You stuffed it into your face like a fat pig?

00:44:36.000 No!

00:44:37.000 I got an apartment.

00:44:38.000 I got my own house.

00:44:40.000 Oh, good.

00:44:40.000 I moved out to the house.

00:44:41.000 A place you can eat with shelves.

00:44:43.000 You won't get rain on your hamburgers.

00:44:46.000 That's the only reason you have an apartment.

00:44:48.000 To eat better, to be able to sit down while you stuff your fat face.

00:44:53.000 Shut up.

00:44:54.000 I am not fat, okay?

00:44:58.000 Does this look fat to you?

00:45:00.000 That looks like a baby's vagina.

00:45:03.000 What?

00:45:04.000 Your ass looks like a baby's vagina.

00:45:07.000 Don't first of all, why do you know what a baby's vagina looks like, you sick fuck freak?

00:45:14.000 I've got a bed here.

00:45:15.000 I've had a baby before.

00:45:17.000 I've had several times.

00:45:18.000 Okay, working on getting it furnished.

00:45:21.000 Uh-huh, you're frozen now.

00:45:24.000 What?

00:45:24.000 There's a dildo.

00:45:25.000 You froze for a sec.

00:45:26.000 Did you just flash a dildo?

00:45:28.000 No, I didn't flash a dildo.

00:45:30.000 That Wasn't a dildo.

00:45:31.000 What was it?

00:45:31.000 It's a lightsaber.

00:45:33.000 It was a lightsaber.

00:45:34.000 It was a lightsaber.

00:45:36.000 So, not only did you find a girl, which shocked me, by the way, that you have a girlfriend, but you found a girlfriend who will peg you.

00:45:42.000 That's quite an accomplishment.

00:45:45.000 No, that's my sister.

00:45:47.000 That's my half-sister Aubrey, you fucking idiot.

00:45:49.000 Do some better research.

00:45:50.000 But did you say on your show that you guys were dating?

00:45:55.000 No, we're not dating.

00:45:56.000 I never once said that we're dating.

00:45:58.000 Why do you try to say that?

00:46:00.000 Why do you try to kiss her all the time then, you weird fat creep with a woman similarity?

00:46:05.000 I love her and she's beautiful and she doesn't mind if I kiss her.

00:46:09.000 Yeah, she seems to mind quite a bit, actually.

00:46:12.000 Hey, I noticed you have a trend.

00:46:13.000 She doesn't.

00:46:14.000 If she didn't mind, she would just tell me and I would stop because consent matters, Gavin.

00:46:18.000 Rule number one in feminism, consent.

00:46:21.000 So you'd like to have sex with your sister?

00:46:24.000 She's fucking beautiful, but I'm not going to because it's weird, obviously.

00:46:24.000 Well, of course.

00:46:29.000 She's my half-sister.

00:46:30.000 It'd only be weird because it's like the half.

00:46:32.000 The bottom half is my sister.

00:46:34.000 Well, top half isn't.

00:46:36.000 If you do end up having sex with your sister and you make a baby, it will likely be retarded, which is someone you could finally relate to.

00:46:43.000 I think that would be a great father-son trip.

00:46:45.000 You guys could go to the zoo and look at monkeys.

00:46:48.000 Try to compete for bananas.

00:46:52.000 You shame, you shame special blood people.

00:46:54.000 You shame fat people.

00:46:56.000 Okay?

00:46:57.000 That doesn't look like a lightsaber.

00:46:59.000 You shame my fucking sister, you piece of shit.

00:47:02.000 Your lightsaber is alarmingly penile.

00:47:06.000 Because, Davin, we know that the number one thing that causes pain in this world is a fucking dick.

00:47:11.000 A lightsaber is obviously the shape.

00:47:13.000 My lightsaber is the shape of a dick because I use what I feared most to strike down my enemies.

00:47:19.000 I am like Batman.

00:47:21.000 Are you still gay?

00:47:22.000 You clearly get pegged.

00:47:22.000 I don't understand.

00:47:24.000 What was the trans thing?

00:47:25.000 How did that die?

00:47:28.000 First of all, do not bring up my past.

00:47:30.000 Okay?

00:47:31.000 Don't bring up my past on the show.

00:47:34.000 We're talking about the colours.

00:47:35.000 What the hell did we just see?

00:47:38.000 No, no, no.

00:47:41.000 Okay, obviously, I'm not identifying as a female.

00:47:45.000 Okay?

00:47:46.000 I was shamed.

00:47:48.000 Okay, I was going through a confusing time.

00:47:51.000 All right.

00:47:52.000 The fucking hormones didn't work well with my body, gave me heart problems.

00:47:56.000 I don't need more problems than I already have.

00:47:59.000 No, you definitely don't.

00:48:00.000 Your biggest problem is where you're going to get your next food fix, you fat cow.

00:48:05.000 I am not fat.

00:48:08.000 I'm not fat.

00:48:10.000 Actually, look at me, Gavin.

00:48:10.000 Look at me.

00:48:12.000 Look at me.

00:48:13.000 I've known you for a long time.

00:48:14.000 You've never not been going through a complicated time.

00:48:17.000 Oh, yeah, when you elongated, it looks good.

00:48:21.000 Thank you, Gavin.

00:48:22.000 Oh, my God.

00:48:23.000 I actually got a compliment.

00:48:25.000 I actually got a fucking compliment.

00:48:27.000 Let me just pat myself on the fucking back.

00:48:30.000 I got a fucking compliment with Gavin McKinnis.

00:48:32.000 Gangling McKinnis.

00:48:34.000 Where are you right now?

00:48:36.000 Are you still in Georgia, baby cunt?

00:48:39.000 No, I'm in Kansas with my sister.

00:48:42.000 And you went there because Mima was making too much meat?

00:48:46.000 Yes.

00:48:47.000 Every single time I would open the fridge to the house, okay, the fucking fridge, there would be eggs.

00:48:53.000 Okay?

00:48:54.000 Baby fetuses.

00:48:56.000 Animal fucking fetuses.

00:48:58.000 Little beautiful cages or little hatches where babies would be held gently in a very, you know, it's all coming back to me now.

00:49:09.000 I don't want to talk about it, okay?

00:49:11.000 There was murder in the fridge.

00:49:12.000 And I'm not going to be around murder.

00:49:14.000 I don't care.

00:49:14.000 I love my Mima.

00:49:15.000 But I'm not going to put up with that bullshit.

00:49:17.000 She's going to continue to fucking insist on insulting my conscience by putting murder in the fucking fridge.

00:49:24.000 I got to say, when Mima comes on the show, it's like finally a moment of sanity in a show gone mad.

00:49:32.000 She seems to be the only one with any kind of intellect.

00:49:35.000 I never thought I'd see an inbred hillbilly as a relief.

00:49:41.000 Don't you dare call my Mima Hillbilly.

00:49:43.000 She is more reasonable and intelligent than you ever will be.

00:49:46.000 And stop shaving people.

00:49:48.000 Oh, I'm up there in Jesus.

00:49:49.000 I'm from North.

00:49:50.000 I'm from fucking North.

00:49:51.000 I'm from fucking Scotland.

00:49:53.000 She is a relief.

00:49:55.000 When I see that little cartoon graphic appear, I just sort of go, Phew.

00:49:59.000 We can finally hear a point that isn't some screaming Sunday eating feminist with a dildo up his ass.

00:50:07.000 What the hell?

00:50:08.000 What are you going to put her on his show anymore, Gavin?

00:50:10.000 What?

00:50:11.000 I'm not going to put her on the fucking show anymore.

00:50:13.000 So don't fuck yourself.

00:50:14.000 She pissed me off with the eggs.

00:50:17.000 Yeah, you'll put up your show.

00:50:19.000 Because you need the burger money.

00:50:21.000 Or as you put it, food money.

00:50:24.000 Yeah, it's fucking food money, Gavin.

00:50:26.000 Everyone knows what food money is.

00:50:28.000 It's when you go somewhere, okay, and you have to have food.

00:50:31.000 You need to eat.

00:50:32.000 You shouldn't have to pay for the food when you go on a vacation, okay?

00:50:36.000 Or on a work thing.

00:50:37.000 You have to be.

00:50:38.000 Oh, I see.

00:50:39.000 Your life is just very big vacation.

00:50:41.000 What are you doing?

00:50:45.000 Have you ever swung a hammer in your life?

00:50:47.000 Have you ever done anything?

00:50:50.000 Yeah.

00:50:50.000 Yeah, I have, actually.

00:50:52.000 Yeah, I have.

00:50:53.000 What did you do?

00:50:54.000 I've done many things.

00:50:55.000 Lots of things.

00:50:56.000 Okay, what was your job?

00:50:59.000 What was my job?

00:51:00.000 Have you ever had a real job?

00:51:02.000 Yes.

00:51:03.000 The very first job I had before, you know, YouTube and TV and stuff, I did pizzas.

00:51:07.000 I worked at a place called Domino's.

00:51:09.000 I'm on the few part of this.

00:51:10.000 Pizzas, what did you do?

00:51:11.000 Fuck them?

00:51:13.000 No, Davin.

00:51:14.000 I kissed one or two, but I ate those pizzas.

00:51:16.000 They were the ones that I made for myself.

00:51:18.000 But I've never fucked a pizza.

00:51:20.000 Why are you thinking things?

00:51:21.000 Why is it always sex with you, Gavin?

00:51:23.000 Because you said you did pizzas.

00:51:27.000 What are you going to do today, for example?

00:51:30.000 What are you going to do today?

00:51:33.000 What's on the agenda for today?

00:51:37.000 Well, today, today, ladies and children, I'm going to be making this show.

00:51:42.000 I'm going to be filming a new episode for Gaping Amos.

00:51:46.000 Oh, I'm sorry, Gaping Nick Amos.

00:51:48.000 I'm so sorry.

00:51:49.000 Okay, let me guess.

00:51:52.000 In this episode, New York, when I fight you again, which I won a rematch, you piece of fucking garbage.

00:51:57.000 You're cheating.

00:51:58.000 Tell everyone right now if I won.

00:52:00.000 Tell everyone right now that I won the fight.

00:52:03.000 Punching you was like punching a shower curtain.

00:52:05.000 There was nothing in it.

00:52:07.000 Like you're fat, but there's no fat in you.

00:52:09.000 You're just like an empty deflated bag.

00:52:17.000 This is punching, this is punching the copper cap.

00:52:21.000 Is it pink?

00:52:23.000 Is that a pink and purple shower curtain?

00:52:26.000 That's your new nickname, pink and purple shower curtain.

00:52:30.000 Yeah, actually, it is.

00:52:31.000 Oh, oh, funny enough, and don't you fucking don't call me names.

00:52:34.000 I want to show you something, Gavin.

00:52:36.000 Look at what I've got for you.

00:52:37.000 Look what I got, my fucking towels in my bathroom.

00:52:40.000 Okay?

00:52:41.000 Look at this.

00:52:42.000 Oh, it's me and my sister, because I'm a white knight.

00:52:46.000 Yes, I said it.

00:52:47.000 Wow.

00:52:48.000 Okay.

00:52:50.000 This is a graphic.

00:52:52.000 Oh, who's that?

00:52:54.000 Who's that Trump supporting bigot with the broken glasses and the fucking stupid dumbass beard hiding no fucking chin, which I punched in New York?

00:53:05.000 Look at that with the little Trump supporting fucking zombies.

00:53:08.000 Yes.

00:53:08.000 When I rescued the beautiful female damsel in distress.

00:53:12.000 Of all I cared to do with that image, to make it into a towel would be like number 97 on my list.

00:53:18.000 Why wouldn't you frame it or make it a poster or something?

00:53:20.000 Why a towel?

00:53:21.000 You want to wipe your balls on it?

00:53:23.000 You want to wipe your balls on my face?

00:53:26.000 That's exactly what I want to do, you piece of fucking human, diseased flesh-eating piece of garbage.

00:53:32.000 You micro.

00:53:34.000 You coronavirus spreading son of a bitch.

00:53:36.000 That's exactly what I plan to do to you is wipe my asshole.

00:53:41.000 You will be eating.

00:53:42.000 That's why I had your mouth open.

00:53:44.000 You're going to eat my asshole every time I take a shower.

00:53:47.000 Jesus.

00:53:47.000 Every fucking time.

00:53:49.000 And guess what?

00:53:50.000 I'll get my Mimo to come on your show.

00:53:52.000 Please do.

00:53:53.000 Please do.

00:53:54.000 She is the intellectual of the Copper Cab family.

00:53:58.000 She'll tell you how smart I am.

00:53:59.000 You can talk to her and ask her about how I was living with her and how I was offline and off camera.

00:54:04.000 She'll tell you what a sweet person I am.

00:54:07.000 Yeah, okay.

00:54:08.000 Well, Copper Cab, thanks for coming on the show.

00:54:11.000 Good luck tomorrow or today, actually, shooting your show, which I guess will include you stuffing your face full of junk food and screaming at your half-sister who you want to have sex with.

00:54:23.000 I don't.

00:54:24.000 Shut up, Gavin.

00:54:25.000 Just shut the fuck up.

00:54:26.000 I don't want to be on your show.

00:54:27.000 Don't ask me to come.

00:54:28.000 I'm sign up on this plan.

00:54:30.000 This is ridiculous.

00:54:31.000 Fuck you, Gavin.

00:54:42.000 Speaking of cringe, have you seen this Harley-Davidson ad where they go fishing?

00:54:50.000 Like, I don't even understand it.

00:54:52.000 Am I supposed to believe that guys on Harley's, and this must have been hard to cast, by the way, Harley-Davidson of NYC, I bet the budget for this was eight grand.

00:55:02.000 So you get a bunch of guys on motorbikes.

00:55:04.000 That's a challenge already.

00:55:06.000 You know, to get them all together and you have to pay them, I guess.

00:55:10.000 But then the writing for this is what we do here in New York City is we hop on our bikes and just randomly pick up chicks.

00:55:17.000 Then they forget where they were going.

00:55:19.000 Their errand is over and they join us and come back to the bar we're at and hang out and party.

00:55:26.000 Because we live in what?

00:55:28.000 The Congo?

00:55:29.000 Like I can think of some shithole country where owning a motorcycle would be impressive, but it ain't New York.

00:55:36.000 Look at this.

00:55:41.000 What a dork.

00:55:43.000 Look at his brand new boots.

00:55:46.000 All right, boys, let's go fishing.

00:55:48.000 That guy's got to be Jewish from Long Island, right?

00:55:52.000 He's a Goomba from Queens.

00:55:56.000 None of them are from New York City.

00:55:58.000 Proper.

00:56:01.000 Okay, so some ridiculous slut is walking down the street.

00:56:04.000 And all he does is just hand her a helmet.

00:56:07.000 I'm in.

00:56:08.000 I'm an absolute whore.

00:56:11.000 This one at least has some sort of logic to it.

00:56:14.000 I was going to get in a taxi, but this looked like more fun.

00:56:16.000 Maybe if you knew him?

00:56:19.000 Maybe.

00:56:22.000 Another supermodel is finding her way there.

00:56:24.000 She just walks up to him.

00:56:26.000 Hey, you want a free helmet?

00:56:28.000 You can use it as a salad bowl.

00:56:30.000 And look at those sweet thighs.

00:56:34.000 We don't know how he got his chick, but we assume it was more of the same.

00:56:38.000 Wait, what?

00:56:41.000 Holy shit.

00:56:42.000 New York is slut central.

00:56:44.000 Hey, what are you going to do?

00:56:45.000 We're married.

00:56:46.000 I like the color red.

00:56:47.000 Ah, these stupid crotch rockets.

00:56:52.000 Like, it's so fictional, it's a parody of Harley Davidson.

00:56:57.000 This is actually an ad for Japanese motorcycles, and they're making fun of Harley riders.

00:57:06.000 And what are they drinking, pop?

00:57:08.000 Yeah.

00:57:11.000 Hey, I know you're going to work, but would you like to get a cherry soda with a bunch of guidos from Queens?

00:57:17.000 No?

00:57:18.000 You don't want to drink different color jaritos?

00:57:20.000 We have almost all the jaritos there are.

00:57:22.000 We have lime, we have strawberry, we have the normal flavor.

00:57:27.000 Don't get yellow, I got yellow.

00:57:28.000 We have plain.

00:57:29.000 Get red, I got yellow.

00:57:31.000 Fine, I'll get red, but we can't have the same one.

00:57:34.000 All right, shall we dig into the male bee?

00:57:36.000 We shall.

00:57:37.000 By the way, the audio better work on this show, Ryan, or I'm going to cut your tits off.

00:57:41.000 I wanted to cut my own tits off.

00:57:42.000 No, I did extensive testing.

00:57:44.000 Do you want to explain what happened yesterday to the fans at home?

00:57:47.000 I don't know the impotence.

00:57:50.000 I'm just impotence.

00:57:51.000 I'm kidding.

00:57:52.000 What is the word?

00:57:53.000 Impetus.

00:57:54.000 Okay.

00:57:55.000 I don't know what caused it, but I know I'm pissed about it.

00:57:59.000 Because it was a great episode, and the doubling of the vocals ruined it.

00:58:03.000 But I don't know what caused it to be like that, but about an hour of testing and recording, and I got to the bottom of it.

00:58:12.000 I don't know what happened, but after an hour of testing, I got to the bottom of it.

00:58:15.000 That means you know what happened.

00:58:17.000 Well, I got to the solution, which is just to reset the board and build it from scratch again.

00:58:22.000 So, by the way, nice framing on my image here.

00:58:25.000 Well, it's because you're turning the other way.

00:58:26.000 When you turn forward, it's fun.

00:58:30.000 All right, shall we plow through these?

00:58:31.000 Jesus Christ, there's already two more.

00:58:34.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:58:38.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

00:58:43.000 Wow, we started getting junkie already in the mailbag.

00:58:46.000 That's a new one.

00:58:48.000 All right, this is from Steve.

00:58:52.000 Hey, Gavin Ryan, my husband and I love you and the show.

00:58:56.000 Oh, sorry, Stevie.

00:58:58.000 I'm a full-time stay-at-home mom with my son who will be two this summer.

00:59:02.000 I truly enjoy it and find the experience to not only be fulfilling in terms of the time I get to spend with my boy, but also because I enjoy being at home, reading, writing, exercising, listening to podcasts, taking care of a home, and making it a nice place.

00:59:14.000 How am I the bad guy for encouraging that, by the way?

00:59:18.000 This is the misogynistic statement that they always say that I am and proud boys are guilty of.

00:59:24.000 We want you to be happy.

00:59:26.000 We see these women in the workforce miserable.

00:59:28.000 Look at the woman who just destroyed Chris Matthews.

00:59:31.000 Does she sound fulfilled?

00:59:32.000 Actually, look her up.

00:59:33.000 Laura Bassett, what are her other articles?

00:59:36.000 Like, what's her canon?

00:59:37.000 I'm guessing she comes up with ideas like, let's give a dying old lady an umbrella.

00:59:44.000 Let's see the body of her work.

00:59:47.000 Look up Michelle Malkin's accomplishments and the people she's gotten out of prison and the books she's written and the changes she's made.

00:59:54.000 What's Laura done?

00:59:56.000 The unhinged meltdown that wasn't.

00:59:59.000 Why Donald Trump made the mistake, like go back, go back, of tweeting out that new instantly iconic photo of Nancy Pelosi.

01:00:06.000 Okay, so her entire existence is predicated on shitting on Trump.

01:00:09.000 That's why she was on Chris Matthews to talk about sexual assault.

01:00:12.000 And then she ended up sexual assaulting, turning him, using the sexual assault media hype against him.

01:00:20.000 What Elizabeth Warren's critics get wrong about discrimination?

01:00:23.000 Okay.

01:00:23.000 When does America reckon with the gravity of Donald Trump's alleged rapes?

01:00:27.000 That's what she was on Chris Matthews for.

01:00:30.000 Are there any more articles?

01:00:32.000 This is from Washington Post now.

01:00:34.000 Republican.

01:00:34.000 So she's just a DNC publicist.

01:00:37.000 The New York City power outage hits thousands in the heart of Manhattan.

01:00:40.000 All right, that's boring local news.

01:00:43.000 What's this?

01:00:44.000 Georgia.

01:00:45.000 You can star in Hamilton and still fear for your life as a black man.

01:00:49.000 Oi Ve.

01:00:50.000 Georgia domestic workers mobilize for Stacey Abrams in the birthplace of their movement.

01:00:55.000 So, yeah, this is just DNC propaganda.

01:00:59.000 This could be on the DNC's website.

01:01:02.000 In Style Magazine.

01:01:04.000 Weinstein.

01:01:06.000 She's really obsessed with sexual assault.

01:01:08.000 Maybe she wants to be sexually assaulted.

01:01:11.000 Maybe she's disappointed that the worst she got is a guy going, I'm falling in love with you over here.

01:01:18.000 You could offer me all sorts of money and prestige to return to work full-time, and I would not take it.

01:01:22.000 It's more meaningful for me to raise my children.

01:01:25.000 Gotcha.

01:01:26.000 I cannot tell you how much shaming and judgment I receive from a woman on this issue.

01:01:29.000 That's fucking infuriating.

01:01:31.000 That is sexism.

01:01:33.000 That is a bona fide example of true blue sexism.

01:01:38.000 When you resent a woman for doing what she's biologically built to do, you're a fucking sexist.

01:01:46.000 That is exactly like hating a black man because he's brown, which never happens.

01:01:52.000 But with women, that true bona fide sexism happens.

01:01:58.000 Many are shocked that I don't work, even though it can be quite hard work to take care of a baby.

01:02:03.000 Yes, and shape a home, clean a home.

01:02:05.000 If I'm cleaning the house, say my wife's away for a while, I'll put on like workout shoes.

01:02:09.000 I'll put on nikes.

01:02:11.000 Because you're lifting shit up and down the stairs.

01:02:14.000 You sweat.

01:02:14.000 It's hard work.

01:02:16.000 I kind of like it though.

01:02:17.000 And by the way, ladies, it is invigorating and it is a workout, but what takes you so long?

01:02:23.000 I could do a whole house and all the laundry in four hours.

01:02:28.000 And now the house is spotless and all the laundry is done and put away.

01:02:32.000 Anyway, I'm contradicting myself here by saying it's hard and easy at the same time.

01:02:37.000 Others imply I must be extremely bored, understimulated, lazy, not interacting with adults enough, or somehow a victim of some patriarchal brainwashing that caused me to betray feminism and women as a whole by staying in the home and not being employed.

01:02:51.000 And we know that women in the workforce are constantly stimulated with intellectual discussions and challenges.

01:02:58.000 No, they're pushing pencils.

01:03:00.000 They're pencil pushers who keep appointments all day, maybe run social media.

01:03:05.000 It's so tedious when you find what these women actually do for a living.

01:03:11.000 Or it's some bullshit charity like the Department of Equality and Fairness in the Workforce.

01:03:17.000 Like not actually building anything.

01:03:19.000 In fact, you're a hindrance to the workforce.

01:03:20.000 You're part of some bullshit committee.

01:03:22.000 Remember when Gina Davis was it, had that women's summit and all the speakers, none of them were entrepreneurs like Barbara Corcoran, who had got in in New York real estate when it was bad, busted her ass, worked her way up, and is now a real estate mogul.

01:03:38.000 None of them were like that.

01:03:39.000 No, not that, Gina Davis.

01:03:40.000 The chick from Earth Girls Are Easy.

01:03:44.000 That's Gina Davis.

01:03:45.000 Oh, okay.

01:03:46.000 Yeah.

01:03:48.000 I thought you pulled it.

01:03:49.000 I thought that black chick was Gina Davis.

01:03:51.000 And I looked up the resumes of everyone who was doing a talk, and none of them had an actual job.

01:03:57.000 It was always like the Center for Research and Women in Film.

01:04:01.000 Like all philanthropy projects.

01:04:03.000 Basically, it was all just like Gina Davis, women who had divorced rich guys and have so much fucking money that they just become philanthropists.

01:04:11.000 Gina Davis has had like three divorces from billionaires.

01:04:15.000 So she's just like farting money around.

01:04:21.000 Caused me to betray feminism.

01:04:23.000 I'm so fucking sick and tired of it, especially because what I do each day is far from binge-watching TV and eating bonbons on the couch, I have quite an enjoyable, active, intellectual, rich daily lifestyle.

01:04:36.000 I live in a big city, so the majority of women I meet are ultra-liberal and super brainwashed by the media.

01:04:39.000 Most of my friends are semi-Trump derangement syndrome, save for a couple I can open up to completely.

01:04:44.000 The ultra-liberal liberal ones have no problem vocally and publicly stating how working is pro-women.

01:04:51.000 She puts in brackets, how?

01:04:54.000 And it's better than being at home and spouting all sorts of other radical left crap I don't even think they've thought twice about, Such as it's no big deal for an eight-year-old's parents to support their gender change.

01:05:04.000 Yeah, isn't that funny?

01:05:05.000 This is a great letter.

01:05:08.000 You fucking care about women and children and society so much, yet you're happy to have children mutilate themselves.

01:05:15.000 I wish more people had respect for the stay-at-home mom, who is not damaging children, by the way.

01:05:21.000 She's not giving them hormones.

01:05:23.000 She's holding them and loving them.

01:05:25.000 You want to give them fucking bizarre drugs.

01:05:29.000 We're like a back and forth here.

01:05:31.000 We're like diamond and silk, me and this Stevie chick.

01:05:36.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed.

01:05:39.000 For the stay-at-home mom, I realize one can be just or even more invested in learning and being productive as one who reports to the office.

01:05:47.000 Obviously, mostly I am sick and tired of all these fucking opinions.

01:05:51.000 You venerate the housewife, so maybe a show on why it's so important to stay at home with the kids.

01:05:55.000 Like you more than a friend, and I like your new sunglasses.

01:05:58.000 You know what would be a cool idea?

01:06:00.000 And again, we're not looking for ideas, folks.

01:06:04.000 If we did an episode from like a kitchen with the housewife, and we did what she has to do all day.

01:06:12.000 Changed some diapers.

01:06:13.000 That seems fun.

01:06:14.000 Did some laundry.

01:06:17.000 We'll have to find one who's not far from New York.

01:06:20.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:06:21.000 This is Heather.

01:06:22.000 A lot of chicks today.

01:06:23.000 Are you watching the Two Corey's documentary that Corey Feldman is releasing next week?

01:06:28.000 Yes.

01:06:29.000 Apparently, he's been in talks with SAG about them adding provisions so children won't work on sets with convicted sex offenders.

01:06:35.000 Shouldn't this have already been done some time ago, she says?

01:06:38.000 What are your thoughts?

01:06:39.000 Yeah.

01:06:40.000 Well, what we're learning from Steven Spielberg is it appears.

01:06:43.000 You got to be careful legally.

01:06:45.000 It appears that this is the norm in Hollywood.

01:06:52.000 Rape seems to be the norm.

01:06:52.000 Raping kids.

01:06:54.000 Harvey Weinstein is just a scapegoat.

01:06:56.000 He was just part of the culture.

01:06:58.000 You might as well throw Vince Neal in jail for letting a bunch of chicks suck him off.

01:07:02.000 There were no kids involved in that, too.

01:07:05.000 Grown women.

01:07:06.000 Yeah.

01:07:07.000 At least Molly Crew were with grown women.

01:07:09.000 Although, when you look up like Led Zeppelin in the glory days of groupies, there's that 14-year-old they all had, that Jimmy Page had, that David Bowie and his wife fucked when she was 13.

01:07:20.000 She's pretty hot.

01:07:27.000 She's pretty convincing.

01:07:29.000 Yes.

01:07:30.000 Well, she's all dressed up with makeup on.

01:07:32.000 Look that up, 14-year-old groupie.

01:07:33.000 I think she was Puerto Rico.

01:07:34.000 Yeah, I'm looking for on your on your page.

01:07:37.000 It was actually, we put that clip up.

01:07:39.000 I wrote about it, yeah.

01:07:41.000 This is from Gene.

01:07:43.000 What up, G-Doll?

01:07:45.000 The other day you were talking about your friend Greg Lukianov.

01:07:47.000 Not really my friend, but I have a lot of respect for him.

01:07:49.000 He writes great books about free speech.

01:07:51.000 Who eats in a weird way, cutting and eating small bites of his food.

01:07:53.000 I know why he does that.

01:07:55.000 Ryan, Google Greg Lukianov teeth.

01:08:00.000 Is it Lukianoff or Lukianov?

01:08:03.000 You can clearly see the dude has veneers on his front teeth.

01:08:06.000 You don't bite food.

01:08:08.000 Look, he's hiding his teeth in every picture.

01:08:10.000 That's interesting.

01:08:11.000 Oh, there we go.

01:08:13.000 Yeah, it's Lukianov.

01:08:15.000 Are those clearly veneers?

01:08:21.000 I don't find that guy attractive.

01:08:23.000 I'm glad he grew a beard.

01:08:27.000 It's hard to find his food.

01:08:28.000 You don't bite food when you have veneers.

01:08:30.000 Interesting.

01:08:32.000 That sucks.

01:08:33.000 All right, let's go to our favorite new segment, the suggestion box.

01:08:40.000 Ready?

01:08:42.000 This is from Tony.

01:08:44.000 Gavin, sorry I couldn't resist busting your balls a bit with the attached meme.

01:08:50.000 All kidding aside, it must be super annoying to have to take all those selfies.

01:08:55.000 And here we have a meme where I'm saying, like you're more than a friend.

01:08:59.000 Stop asking for selfies.

01:09:01.000 We're not friends.

01:09:02.000 The only way I can avoid selfies is to say, you're not finding the meme there?

01:09:09.000 What is the title?

01:09:12.000 Gavin Meme, Busting Balls.

01:09:14.000 Okay.

01:09:15.000 But you could have just heard any part of that.

01:09:18.000 Gotcha.

01:09:21.000 Handholding here at Get Off My Lawn.

01:09:26.000 Really well done meme there, loser.

01:09:30.000 Yeah, I just say subscribe to Censored TV and I'll do all the selfies you want.

01:09:33.000 It cuts down your selfies by half.

01:09:36.000 Maybe there's a better way for big fans to approach, like a secret handshake of sorts.

01:09:41.000 So you know who's really a member of Censored.

01:09:43.000 We can agree on something like, can I buy you a bud?

01:09:46.000 Then you know it's legit.

01:09:47.000 Anyway, like you're more than a friend, I promise to never ask for a selfie.

01:09:50.000 So this guy's suggestion, and I am desperate for more suggestions, is to make up a secret handshake on the show that censored.tv subscribers will know of.

01:10:01.000 What are you doing right now?

01:10:02.000 Looking for the porn star girl 14.

01:10:05.000 Pornstar Girl.

01:10:06.000 Rockstars Girl 14.

01:10:08.000 So don't do that, right?

01:10:10.000 You're already like two letters behind.

01:10:12.000 You look up 14-year-old groupie, Rock, Jimmy Page.

01:10:17.000 Why do I have to train you live?

01:10:21.000 Pornstar?

01:10:23.000 I just said porn star, but I was know what I was looking for.

01:10:27.000 Anyway, Secret Handshake is a stupid idea.

01:10:31.000 I'm not looking for suggestions.

01:10:33.000 And it came with a blank page.

01:10:36.000 And when I ask people if they're on censored.tv, there we go.

01:10:43.000 What's her name?

01:10:45.000 That's not her.

01:10:49.000 What's her name?

01:10:52.000 Lori Maddox.

01:10:53.000 L-O-R-I-M-A-T-T-I-X.

01:10:55.000 Now, this is a 14-year-old who manages...

01:11:04.000 There she is in that picture.

01:11:06.000 So you can see, like, 14-year-olds with makeup and stuff, there she is today, can make themselves look very pretty like an adult woman.

01:11:14.000 But that doesn't mean it's okay to fuck kids, Keith Moon.

01:11:18.000 She looks young.

01:11:18.000 You can tell in her eyes.

01:11:20.000 Anyway, the idea of giving a secret headshake, when I ask people, are you on censored.tv?

01:11:27.000 That's enough.

01:11:28.000 I get it out there.

01:11:29.000 I'm not About to sit there and verify.

01:11:31.000 I didn't tell you that my problem was when I asked them this, I can't truly verify it.

01:11:36.000 So, your true verification trick there is a waste of my fucking time.

01:11:44.000 This is from Tibbs.

01:11:46.000 Hey, man, last Gary's mailbag, he mentioned he needed a manicure.

01:11:49.000 Next show, have Ryan give him a manny petty while he does the mailbag.

01:11:56.000 Not a fan of that?

01:11:58.000 So, you're gonna sit there, buy a bunch of manny-petty tools, the file and everything, and then start brushing away at his disgusting fingers to amuse someone?

01:12:07.000 I couldn't.

01:12:08.000 Yeah, why don't we have Ryan wash his foreskin while we're at it?

01:12:12.000 That'd be a funny episode.

01:12:13.000 That would be a bad idea.

01:12:18.000 Last suggestion here.

01:12:20.000 Why don't you guys start your own show?

01:12:23.000 I don't sit here desperate for suggestions.

01:12:27.000 Make it that your show.

01:12:29.000 And then, by the way, show me your shitty show and you'll realize how much you suck and how hard it is to do this and how we're not exactly sitting here twiddling our thumbs.

01:12:39.000 It's like when I said to Joe Rogan, I go, you must get a lot of people suggesting guests.

01:12:42.000 And he goes, Yeah, all the time, and I don't know why.

01:12:45.000 I go, you're not looking for guests, are you?

01:12:47.000 He goes, no, I got them backed up.

01:12:49.000 I've got dozens of people I want to talk to.

01:12:51.000 I'm good for the next five years of guests.

01:12:53.000 But people go, you know, you should really get on the guy who invented the pomegranate.

01:12:59.000 He's really interesting.

01:13:00.000 I just heard him on a health show.

01:13:02.000 I bet fucking Rogan gets billions of those.

01:13:06.000 He should have a suggestion box.

01:13:08.000 Dear Gavin, when I was in grade school, us boys would sing the Village People's YMCA, but we replaced the original refrain with, why are you gay?

01:13:18.000 This is before the African, of course.

01:13:20.000 Maybe one of your viewers could edit some of your clips up to replicate this feat of childish mischief.

01:13:28.000 What?

01:13:29.000 Why are you gay?

01:13:30.000 So now he wants us to make a video of that with YMCA?

01:13:37.000 And maybe you could send Ryan to blast it at the Boomer Bishops next time they meet in a luxury hotel to tell Trump supporters they're mean.

01:13:47.000 Okay, oh, so he doesn't want a video.

01:13:50.000 He just wants someone to re-record the Village People's YMCA, but make it why are you gay?

01:13:57.000 Right.

01:13:58.000 What?

01:13:59.000 Thank you.

01:14:03.000 Go.

01:14:05.000 I have to.

01:14:06.000 Okay.

01:14:10.000 Why are you gay?

01:14:14.000 Why are you gay?

01:14:15.000 No, you gotta do it with the chorus.

01:14:18.000 To have a gay time.

01:14:22.000 Young man.

01:14:23.000 Young men.

01:14:24.000 I like to wash off their balls and do other things that's homosexual and do other stuff.

01:14:32.000 But nothing.

01:14:33.000 So that's some guy telling me that I gotta go sit in Pro Tools and make a song now?

01:14:38.000 I'm like that dude on Stern who makes songs for people.

01:14:38.000 What?

01:14:44.000 What are you good?

01:14:46.000 Oh, that's just the musical?

01:14:48.000 What?

01:14:49.000 Yeah, the instrumental.

01:14:50.000 I'm not looking for homework assignments, father.

01:14:53.000 That was a priest.

01:14:55.000 Oh, I see.

01:14:56.000 Okay, are we done?

01:14:58.000 Sure, sure.

01:15:00.000 Sure, sure.

01:15:00.000 Fun show.

01:15:01.000 Fun show.

01:15:02.000 Let's hope and pray the audio works.

01:15:04.000 And let's thoroughly enjoy this Civil War.

01:15:06.000 And poor Chris Matthews, you got fucked, dude.

01:15:09.000 I don't like you.

01:15:10.000 I think you're a leftist twat, but I'm not blind to when I see someone get fucked over.

01:15:15.000 I can't help but call it out.

01:15:19.000 I used to say, let's try to be more partisan and just say, fuck you, haha, bitch.

01:15:23.000 You got to taste your own medicine, lefties.

01:15:25.000 And I tried that, and it's just not in me.

01:15:28.000 I can't be unfair.

01:15:29.000 I can't be petty like that.

01:15:31.000 I'm too wonderful.

01:15:32.000 Anyway, we always end with a fun video.

01:15:35.000 This is a great fight called Don't Bring a Bat to a Fist Fight.

01:15:42.000 Now, I've always thought bats were a dumb move because to connect, the gods have to be on your side.

01:15:49.000 You're going to be too far away or too close.

01:15:52.000 And then you have one swing, and after that it's over.

01:15:55.000 And, you know, if I put up my arm, I'm probably not going to get my arm broken.

01:15:59.000 I'm going to get a bad welt and it's going to hurt like hell.

01:16:02.000 But it's not that great of a weapon.

01:16:06.000 All the dude has to do is run at you right now, and you're not going to have time to whine back.

01:16:11.000 So he just goes at your waist.

01:16:13.000 Turn it up.

01:16:14.000 He got set, bro.

01:16:15.000 I want you.

01:16:19.000 So I want.

01:16:20.000 I want you to see it.

01:16:22.000 I want you to.

01:16:23.000 I want a white bitch.

01:16:25.000 You a whole ass bitch.

01:16:27.000 I want you.

01:16:30.000 White people always steal this kind of dialogue because it is pretty good.

01:16:34.000 I know they don't want you shit.

01:16:35.000 They don't want shit.

01:16:37.000 Look, he's just trying to find the right time.

01:16:40.000 Hold up.

01:16:40.000 I'm going to get in the motherfucking shit.

01:16:46.000 Kick was a bad move.

01:16:50.000 Okay, stop.

01:16:51.000 Three, four.

01:16:52.000 Keep going.

01:16:53.000 No, no, I'm talking to him.

01:16:54.000 He got a bad weekend, nigga.

01:17:01.000 I hate seeing it.

01:17:04.000 24 punches too many.

01:17:07.000 That would technically be.

01:17:08.000 That's attempted murder at this point.

01:17:10.000 But that's a bat-worthy amount of Maybe he was like, this is what you were going to do to me.

01:17:18.000 I don't know.

01:17:18.000 I think it was worse.

01:17:20.000 Because the concussion of a bat sends your brain to the other side.

01:17:23.000 It might crack your skull open or something.

01:17:25.000 But outside of that, it's one concussion.

01:17:27.000 This guy was getting concussion after concussion after concussion.

01:17:29.000 And they say the way you die from concussions is, like in boxing, your brain hits the front of your skull, then you hit the mat and hits the back of your skull.

01:17:36.000 Then you bounce up.

01:17:38.000 So it's like not the boom.

01:17:39.000 It's the boom, boom, boom.

01:17:41.000 And this guy was getting boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like a bump stock.

01:17:44.000 And there's a lot of like nose and orbital bone and lips.

01:17:48.000 A lot of mouth.

01:17:49.000 Yeah, I'm not worried about that.

01:17:50.000 That's horrible, though.

01:17:51.000 That's going to be facial reconstruction.

01:17:53.000 But it's the brain I'm worried about.

01:17:55.000 This face looks pretty intact.

01:17:57.000 That's what the skirt card is.

01:18:00.000 I think he's inhaling the blood.

01:18:02.000 Oh, yeah, listen.

01:18:05.000 Put him on his belly.

01:18:07.000 They say he's snoring because they're fucking ignorant.

01:18:10.000 He's choking on his blood.

01:18:13.000 I've had my nose broken badly before, and when it's not coming out of your nose, you're drinking it like you're drinking a pint.

01:18:19.000 Like, oh, jeez.

01:18:22.000 He's now chugging blood, possibly choking to death.

01:18:26.000 Get him on his side.

01:18:29.000 You animals.

01:18:31.000 There you go.

01:18:33.000 No, that's not.

01:18:34.000 No.

01:18:35.000 And don't pick him up.

01:18:36.000 People always want to pick up a guy who's been knocked unconscious.

01:18:39.000 Why?

01:18:39.000 Is he late for work?

01:18:41.000 Let him lie there for a while.

01:18:42.000 Get that blood out of his face.

01:18:44.000 And folks at home, if you're beating the living shit out of someone, once they're unconscious, please stop.

01:18:50.000 We don't like looking at it.

01:18:52.000 There's nothing worse than seeing an unconscious man going kicked in the head.

01:18:58.000 It's just so inhuman.

01:19:03.000 And if not hitting a man when he's down, knocking out an unconscious person is going to get you in trouble with the crew, then get in trouble with the crew.

01:19:14.000 Get fired.

01:19:15.000 Get in trouble.

01:19:16.000 Be brave.

01:19:18.000 and never stop fighting.

01:19:29.000 You know me better than that.

01:19:30.000 You know I love you like that.

01:19:32.000 It really waters me down.

01:19:37.000 You know me better than that.

01:19:39.000 You know I hate it like that.

01:19:40.000 It really waters me down.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 03, 2020

S02E132 - BERNIE WAR [2020-03-03 - S02E132 - BERNIE WAR]

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