Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 16, 2020


S02E137 - GET INFECTED [2020-03-16 - S02E137 - GET INFECTED]


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

153.4074

Word Count

11,278

Sentence Count

1,194

Misogynist Sentences

49

Hate Speech Sentences

76


Summary

On this episode of Thick & Thin, the boys talk about a variety of topics, including the latest in the Andrew Cuomo vs. Scott Pelly debate, the New York City schools being shut down due to a virus, and the fact that Pelly has no makeup on his face.


Transcript

00:01:32.000 So that is the ballad of Roger Stone by Mongo and the Wand Wanderers War Horse.
00:01:42.000 War Horse, what's going on with your mask there?
00:01:45.000 Um some issues you didn't have enough time to put it on before we started?
00:01:52.000 I did my gloves.
00:01:54.000 You don't have your gloves on?
00:01:56.000 No, because the touch screen buttons.
00:01:58.000 You said that's just your left hand, though.
00:02:00.000 Yeah, but then also scrolling left and right like this.
00:02:03.000 Let's see if I can do it.
00:02:04.000 I can't.
00:02:05.000 Okay, we're good.
00:02:08.000 Jeez.
00:02:10.000 The magic mouse is touch-sensitive.
00:02:15.000 Yeah, school's out.
00:02:16.000 De Blasio finally cancels classes amid virus crisis.
00:02:20.000 Now, if you're not a New Yorker, you might not know that de Blasio was hesitant to close the schools.
00:02:27.000 There he is, being a big tall piece of shit.
00:02:30.000 He's made a lot of mistakes.
00:02:32.000 And then there's fucking Andrew Cuomo.
00:02:34.000 I was watching 60 Minutes last night because it was about Westchester.
00:02:38.000 And I overheard my racist wife mumble, because they were going back and forth from Andrew Cuomo to, I forget, oh, Scott Pelly.
00:02:49.000 And she goes, God, white men are ugly.
00:02:51.000 I heard her whisper, white men are ugly to herself.
00:02:56.000 But I was kind of thinking the same thing, not about white men, but about Cuomo.
00:03:00.000 Dude, you got these sagging jowls.
00:03:03.000 Your face is melting.
00:03:04.000 You need a mustache badly.
00:03:08.000 Look at him.
00:03:10.000 He really looks like a Halloween mask.
00:03:14.000 God, he's loved.
00:03:15.000 This is Andrew Cuomo.
00:03:16.000 He loves this shit.
00:03:18.000 Look at his face.
00:03:19.000 And wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
00:03:20.000 This is what I noticed.
00:03:21.000 Go to Scott Pelly.
00:03:23.000 What the fuck's on your face?
00:03:24.000 What is that yellow chalk on your right cheek?
00:03:27.000 I've said this a million times.
00:03:30.000 Stop putting makeup on men on TV.
00:03:33.000 They look fucking ridiculous.
00:03:37.000 Scott Pelly looks like a peach right there.
00:03:40.000 And then his little hint of lipstick.
00:03:42.000 And then you left some fucking foundation, some yellow powder on his right cheek.
00:03:48.000 We know that older guys look kind of blotchy.
00:03:51.000 That's fine.
00:03:53.000 We're not trying to fuck him.
00:03:54.000 Why are you trying to make him a smoke show?
00:03:57.000 A 13-year-old girl.
00:03:59.000 Not that I'm attracted to 13-year-old girls.
00:04:02.000 An 18-year-old girl.
00:04:04.000 And then Cuomo, I don't think, had any makeup.
00:04:07.000 Now, this is ironic because I said, when I was looking at Cuomo, I thought, fuck, he's ugly.
00:04:12.000 But that's no makeup, right?
00:04:14.000 Now, let me be clear here.
00:04:15.000 My problem with Cuomo is these giant laugh-line things on his face that are sinking forward.
00:04:21.000 A mustache would counter that beautifully.
00:04:23.000 A beard would help too.
00:04:25.000 But as far as the actual skin tone, no one has a problem with that.
00:04:29.000 That's what you should have.
00:04:32.000 He shouldn't have a mustache because that's the best, that's the flattest real estate on his face.
00:04:37.000 No, you got to distract people.
00:04:39.000 Look.
00:04:42.000 Don't I look better like this?
00:04:44.000 Yes.
00:04:46.000 Yeah, I look way more handsome.
00:04:47.000 Even though if you could see what's behind this fur curtain, you just see a sad little anemic squirrel.
00:04:54.000 Oh, they canceled the fur curtain Mercury Lounge show, by the way.
00:04:57.000 Oh, fuck, that sucks.
00:04:59.000 So not only are the schools closed finally, but takeout on delivery only at New York City eateries and bars.
00:05:07.000 I'm telling you, man, you know who's going to fucking come out shining, smelling of gold, because gold smells delicious?
00:05:15.000 Immigrants.
00:05:16.000 Immigrants who have all family employees, they don't have to pay.
00:05:20.000 They are going to ride out this storm like nobody's business.
00:05:23.000 And true Americans who employ teenagers, which is everyone's ideal, we're sick of hearing accents everywhere.
00:05:31.000 Like I met a local place in Westchester getting a pizza the other day, like at a fancy place where they have fancy brick oven pizza and other stuff.
00:05:39.000 And there's a 19-year-old with a Portuguese accent.
00:05:42.000 Can I help you?
00:05:44.000 Okay, what are you going to want?
00:05:46.000 That's East Indian, but you get the idea.
00:05:48.000 And I'm just like, we don't have any teenagers here?
00:05:50.000 We had to fly a teenager from 3,000 miles away.
00:05:55.000 Anyway, those accented peoples are going to destroy us.
00:06:00.000 Actually, I was talking to John Kinsman on the weekend because he's in prison and his beautiful daughter, Liberty, and her two brothers and John's wife, Zenoa, stayed at my house for 24 hours on their way up to go upstate to visit John in prison.
00:06:17.000 But at the 11th hour, literally, the prison told him that he can have no guests.
00:06:25.000 No one can have any more guests.
00:06:26.000 All the prisons have stopped visitation.
00:06:28.000 So she had to turn around and drive Back to Illinois, 14-hour drive.
00:06:33.000 But anyway, I was talking to John, and he was obviously incredibly bummed about not seeing his kids, especially when he could hear his kids.
00:06:40.000 I was playing with Liberty all weekend.
00:06:42.000 She likes a little thing I do called the dip or doodle.
00:06:47.000 Kids are so easy to make laugh.
00:06:48.000 You want to make a kid laugh?
00:06:50.000 Do the dipper doodle.
00:06:51.000 You go one, two, three, dip.
00:06:52.000 That's for babies.
00:06:54.000 Babies also like it.
00:06:55.000 You take their hands and you rub them on your beard so it opens up.
00:06:59.000 Their fists are always clenched.
00:07:00.000 You open up their clenched fists on your beard and their inner hands feel your stubble, laugh their fucking heads off.
00:07:07.000 And then when you get older, like his other girl, Zola, this is the gag you do.
00:07:10.000 Ready?
00:07:12.000 You go.
00:07:19.000 And even after like three times, they'll be giggling with anticipation.
00:07:35.000 Patient knowing you're about to Everybody Everybody I confused them.
00:07:43.000 Honestly.
00:07:44.000 I knew it.
00:07:45.000 I really thought that was the same person.
00:07:46.000 You're a fucking retard.
00:07:50.000 So yeah, they had to go back.
00:07:51.000 But sorry, John was saying that this is great news because we're realizing how vulnerable we are.
00:07:57.000 We're realizing that 97% of our antibiotics are made in China.
00:08:03.000 And that makes us vulnerable.
00:08:04.000 Thank you.
00:08:10.000 I didn't do any set design before we started.
00:08:12.000 I should have.
00:08:14.000 Everybody got time for that!
00:08:18.000 There we go.
00:08:19.000 Everybody?
00:08:21.000 I'll make you a thumbnail right now.
00:08:22.000 Ready?
00:08:32.000 Got it.
00:08:34.000 So yeah, we obviously have a lot of coronavirus shit to discuss.
00:08:38.000 My local message boards, Jesus Lord, you should read them.
00:08:42.000 Oh, my God.
00:08:44.000 I want to give a thank you to the workers out there, the workers who are busting their butts.
00:08:50.000 Why are you announcing this on a message board?
00:08:53.000 It's even below a tweet as far as relevance goes.
00:08:57.000 And I saw tweets too, like Barbara Streisand saying, we're out there.
00:09:01.000 Those nurses are out there.
00:09:03.000 Thank God for them.
00:09:04.000 God bless them.
00:09:06.000 Thanks.
00:09:07.000 Give them some money or something if you really give a shit.
00:09:10.000 What is more meaningless than a tweet?
00:09:11.000 I'll tell you what's more meaningless than a tweet.
00:09:13.000 A random post on a very local message board.
00:09:17.000 Hey, I just want to say this is a good time to reflect and spend time with your family.
00:09:22.000 You know, if you're tired, nap, catch up on some books you've been meaning to read.
00:09:27.000 Who the fuck are you?
00:09:29.000 My mommy?
00:09:30.000 What am I?
00:09:31.000 Nine?
00:09:34.000 What am I?
00:09:35.000 Ten?
00:09:36.000 By five?
00:09:37.000 It's a really bizarre thing to get on a local message board and tell people to wash their hands.
00:09:42.000 Like, who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
00:09:46.000 Be careful.
00:09:47.000 And also, elderly people, if you're young and you're congregating, you're making it worse for them.
00:09:55.000 Fuck off.
00:09:56.000 Anyway, the reason I brought up the ballad of Roger Stone on a coronavirus episode is to say Milo's book is out.
00:10:06.000 He was working fastidiously on it when we were over there.
00:10:10.000 And it's done, ready to rock.
00:10:12.000 This genius of a boy, Milo, had different endings ready.
00:10:17.000 Oh, look at this.
00:10:18.000 I better...
00:10:22.000 Did he not include my fucking write-up?
00:10:25.000 Hit read more, you fucking retard.
00:10:27.000 Where's that?
00:10:28.000 Where do you think it is?
00:10:29.000 Oh, right here.
00:10:34.000 Holy shit.
00:10:35.000 He didn't include me.
00:10:38.000 What a dick.
00:10:39.000 What the poop.
00:10:40.000 Fucker.
00:10:41.000 Well, we know who he likes more than me.
00:10:43.000 Anyway, he had different endings ready.
00:10:47.000 Because I said, what are you going to do if he gets off?
00:10:49.000 And he goes, I have an ending for that.
00:10:51.000 Well, what are you going to do if he gets 30 years?
00:10:53.000 I have an ending for that.
00:10:55.000 So when it happened, boom, he was ready to just plug in the ending, add the relevant details, and then whoosh, it was off to the presses.
00:11:04.000 Amazing.
00:11:05.000 So yeah, picked that up.
00:11:06.000 Milo's a fun writer to read.
00:11:08.000 Very sarcastic and silly.
00:11:12.000 It's not dense and harrowing.
00:11:13.000 I'm becoming lazy.
00:11:14.000 And plus, after a hard day of reading.
00:11:18.000 Uh-oh.
00:11:19.000 That doesn't sound good.
00:11:22.000 Every cough.
00:11:23.000 Sounds bad.
00:11:24.000 Every cough makes us scared her.
00:11:31.000 What was I saying?
00:11:32.000 Oh, yeah, I'm becoming lazy.
00:11:33.000 And I read these articles all day trying to prepare for you.
00:11:37.000 And by the time I get home, I don't want to read something dense.
00:11:41.000 I don't want to read Kierkegaard, which is what's great about Michelle Malkin.
00:11:46.000 She's really fun to read.
00:11:48.000 Anyway, I was going to do the rhythm.
00:11:50.000 This is the rhythm of the night to show you a little segment on partying Europeans.
00:11:58.000 Oh shit, I forgot to number things.
00:11:59.000 Well, we're doing them chronologically, so this should be easy.
00:12:01.000 Italians, Italian DJs who obviously have all their shit in their apartment, right?
00:12:05.000 They don't going to leave it in storage.
00:12:07.000 So they have like an amp, records, and lights, and they can rock your world to shitty dance music.
00:12:15.000 It's a lot of people who are playing.
00:12:28.000 Hey Europeans, could you be farther behind us, please?
00:12:31.000 When were we doing Rhythm of the Night?
00:12:32.000 1990s?
00:12:34.000 What was it?
00:12:35.000 95, 97.
00:12:35.000 95, 97.
00:12:41.000 Another jam.
00:12:42.000 This is Ryan's record collection.
00:12:45.000 I do like it.
00:12:46.000 DJ single mom.
00:12:47.000 *Ding music*
00:12:55.000 Isn't it pasta everybody's bedtime at that time?
00:12:59.000 So that's fun.
00:13:00.000 By the way, I was making fun of Europeans, but I'm supporting that.
00:13:04.000 What's that?
00:13:05.000 Oh, it's one of my rubber bands.
00:13:07.000 in Spain they were doing it also.
00:13:09.000 Two similarly shitty tunes.
00:13:13.000 Yeah, I'm going to play a lot of jazz.
00:13:15.000 Yeah, I'm going to play a lot of jazz.
00:13:21.000 This sounds a little more modern at least.
00:13:23.000 Yes, it's the time that we need our voice, okay?
00:13:31.000 I like the guy with the little raver-like next to him on the same floor.
00:13:34.000 What has he got?
00:13:35.000 Like an iPhone?
00:13:38.000 Could be, yeah.
00:13:40.000 The one on the top floor, that's got to be some other sort of blade.
00:13:44.000 That's like an actual strobe.
00:13:46.000 Thanks, Ryan.
00:13:47.000 Thanks, Detective Shitty.
00:13:48.000 I had no idea.
00:13:50.000 I thought it was a dog whose head was on fire.
00:13:53.000 No.
00:13:54.000 That would make a way different blade.
00:13:56.000 Oh.
00:13:59.000 So that's Spain.
00:14:00.000 That one when I first saw it almost made me cry.
00:14:02.000 Now that I look at it, I don't care.
00:14:03.000 Maybe it's because when I do this show, I'm a little more callous.
00:14:06.000 And then we had Italians coming up with a way to share wine with their neighbors and also be patriotic while singing the Italian national anthem, which kind of sucks.
00:14:26.000 How many times do you say Italian in your national anthem?
00:14:30.000 We don't overuse America in our songs.
00:14:39.000 Here comes the wine.
00:14:49.000 Wait a minute.
00:14:50.000 Wait a minute.
00:14:51.000 Why did we need those buzzing helicopter blades if he was pulling them manually?
00:14:55.000 Maybe the...
00:14:59.000 But someone added drones?
00:15:01.000 Is that Detective Shitty's?
00:15:02.000 What is the?
00:15:04.000 He's doing it manually.
00:15:06.000 He's just pulling them.
00:15:11.000 Could be a drone recording this.
00:15:13.000 Oh, that's pretty.
00:15:14.000 And we're not watching the drone footage?
00:15:17.000 Well, he's sure flying low.
00:15:19.000 Because there sure are drones.
00:15:20.000 Well, no, no.
00:15:22.000 The video we're watching is not a drone, but there could be a drone in the area taking video of this.
00:15:27.000 Hmm.
00:15:29.000 So then they show this horrific example.
00:15:34.000 Oh, shit.
00:15:35.000 Did I send you the people fighting for paper towels?
00:15:38.000 Possibly separate?
00:15:39.000 Does your iPhone work with gloves on?
00:15:40.000 My iPhone does, yeah, but getting it on the...
00:15:45.000 I think emailing might be that.
00:15:48.000 I gotta show you.
00:15:49.000 So you dig up that video of the Italian hospital.
00:15:56.000 and i'll send you this awesome video of people fighting over paper towels So I was looking at this going, doesn't look so bad.
00:16:09.000 Criage.
00:16:17.000 Like, have you ever been to Beth Israel?
00:16:19.000 In the East Village, in New York City?
00:16:21.000 That's what it looks like.
00:16:23.000 There's people waiting in the hallways.
00:16:25.000 Maybe you people are used to nicer hospitals.
00:16:29.000 But this is pretty much our everyday.
00:16:35.000 If only we could see the coronavirus.
00:16:37.000 If only it was a blue gas.
00:16:40.000 And you could just see it coming out of people's mouths and you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:16:43.000 Get that fucking coronavirus off of me.
00:16:45.000 I saw, we had to drive today because we don't want to take Metro North.
00:16:49.000 And I saw a mask on the ground.
00:16:51.000 And I thought, oh, that'll be funny.
00:16:52.000 I'll pick it up and I'll put it on.
00:16:54.000 And I thought, the odds of it having coronavirus are pretty high.
00:16:57.000 To be clear, if you're looking for a stance from this show, our stance is this is not a big deal.
00:17:08.000 We are of the, it's just as much as dangerous.
00:17:11.000 It's much less dangerous than the flu.
00:17:13.000 We think this is all overhyped.
00:17:15.000 This is malarkey.
00:17:16.000 Chill the fuck out.
00:17:18.000 As far as America goes, as far as Italy and Spain goes, that's none of my business.
00:17:22.000 I don't deal with you people.
00:17:24.000 As far as America goes, you don't have to close down the schools.
00:17:27.000 Kids aren't really getting it.
00:17:29.000 This is all hyperbolic, but whatever.
00:17:32.000 It'll work.
00:17:34.000 Okay, did you get that video?
00:17:37.000 Not yet.
00:17:38.000 We had the weirdest email on earth.
00:17:39.000 Or you sent it via email, right?
00:17:40.000 Yeah.
00:17:41.000 Why do you have to ask me which email I sent it to?
00:17:43.000 No, no, no.
00:17:44.000 Maybe you airdropped it to my phone because you said you had your phone ready.
00:17:47.000 No, I emailed it to you.
00:17:48.000 So you just go to all your inboxes.
00:17:50.000 Yep.
00:17:50.000 Yeah, I'm still waiting.
00:17:52.000 That's fucking annoying.
00:17:53.000 Maybe I should.
00:17:54.000 I have to go with the FBI first or something.
00:17:57.000 Yeah.
00:17:57.000 I remember emailing being way faster before.
00:18:04.000 That's someone's saying to me, should we cancel this London trip?
00:18:08.000 Dude, it's canceled.
00:18:11.000 You can't go to London.
00:18:14.000 Alright, it says it's sending, but did that go to the right computer?
00:18:17.000 Went to the incorrect computer, but.
00:18:20.000 Your other computer isn't available.
00:18:26.000 I don't like the fans at home having to watch us do our job.
00:18:31.000 But this is worth it.
00:18:33.000 I saw this on Milo's Telegram where he said, the government treats you like animals because you act like animals.
00:18:42.000 Alright, what are you doing now?
00:18:42.000 You're sending that to yourself?
00:18:45.000 I'm just going to play it on this computer.
00:18:48.000 Okay.
00:18:53.000 What is the big deal with paper towels and toilet paper?
00:18:57.000 It's not doing anything wrong.
00:19:00.000 you Thank you.
00:19:04.000 God, you're fucking useless, aren't you?
00:19:06.000 Well, this computer has a weird.
00:19:09.000 That's why I don't use this one for videos, but I tried to give it a shot.
00:19:14.000 And so your email still hasn't come through.
00:19:16.000 This is bananas.
00:19:20.000 Annoying.
00:19:21.000 And why can't you send it from one computer to the other?
00:19:24.000 I'd have to turn my internet on, and we're having running programs that are depending on the stable internet connection.
00:19:30.000 So if I put on the Wi-Fi instead of the landline.
00:19:33.000 Oh, I just got it.
00:19:34.000 Oh, Jesus, just got it.
00:19:36.000 Look how long that took to send two megabytes to someone that's five feet away from me.
00:19:40.000 I got some guy calling me after I complained about that, saying, I'll come by and fix your email.
00:19:45.000 Not for free, but uh, no, thank you.
00:19:48.000 Look at this, I need paper towels.
00:19:52.000 I'm gonna die if I don't have paper towels.
00:20:00.000 Look, what's she fighting about?
00:20:03.000 Why does everyone think paper towels and toilet paper are the solution to this problem?
00:20:10.000 I'm lost.
00:20:12.000 Worst case scenario, there's a million things you can wipe your ass with.
00:20:16.000 It's not an issue.
00:20:18.000 I'm getting a bidet.
00:20:19.000 A tushy bidet.
00:20:22.000 That doesn't look as cool as I thought it would.
00:20:27.000 Maybe this is a conspiracy to get us all using the bidet in America.
00:20:30.000 Enjoying the rest of the world.
00:20:31.000 We should use a bidet.
00:20:32.000 I use a bidet every day.
00:20:34.000 Every day.
00:20:34.000 Biffy.com.
00:20:36.000 Don't go to tushy.
00:20:37.000 It's too expensive.
00:20:39.000 Oh, there's a different way.
00:20:40.000 You got a Biffy.
00:20:41.000 Biffy.
00:20:41.000 B-I-F-F-Y.
00:20:43.000 Oh, I didn't know that existed.
00:20:44.000 80 bucks.
00:20:45.000 Last time I checked.
00:20:47.000 So you never need toilet paper ever again.
00:20:48.000 You can also control the blast with Biffy.
00:20:51.000 Biffy.com, Ryan.
00:20:52.000 You can control the blast with the tushi as well.
00:20:54.000 Oh, really?
00:20:55.000 Do you have a tushy?
00:20:55.000 Yes.
00:20:56.000 No, I want to order one this Friday.
00:20:58.000 This Friday?
00:20:59.000 Oh, because that's when you get paid because you already spent your money, even though you got a raise?
00:21:02.000 Well, no, it's not all spent.
00:21:04.000 I could pull for my savings.
00:21:05.000 I just do not want to do that.
00:21:07.000 Actually, I do have money.
00:21:09.000 Never mind.
00:21:09.000 Never mind.
00:21:09.000 Okay.
00:21:10.000 Fuck off.
00:21:11.000 Oh, look, I got all kinds of different ones now.
00:21:14.000 Abiffy warmer.
00:21:14.000 What's that?
00:21:16.000 I don't really like the warmer.
00:21:17.000 You have to hook it up to your sink, I think.
00:21:18.000 I like it when it's freezing cold.
00:21:21.000 I'm glad this guy's still going.
00:21:23.000 I put this on the cover of Vice in 19, no, maybe 2001.
00:21:30.000 20 years ago.
00:21:31.000 Still going strong.
00:21:32.000 Created by a doctor.
00:21:36.000 All right, here's a funny video of some guy screaming at the media when they're at some grocery store at 6 in the morning.
00:21:47.000 Okay, now there's somebody who is being number.
00:21:50.000 We'll talk to you guys a little bit later.
00:21:52.000 It's your fault that people are freaking out here.
00:21:55.000 You all the ones that are at fault.
00:21:58.000 This is your worst Luke.
00:22:01.000 This is your worst Luke?
00:22:03.000 I'm reacting to other people.
00:22:05.000 Well, you don't have to.
00:22:06.000 Did you hear that?
00:22:08.000 Well, no, totally.
00:22:10.000 Oh, fuck you.
00:22:12.000 He said.
00:22:13.000 Thank you.
00:22:13.000 You're all the scum of the earth.
00:22:16.000 I don't even blame the tiny.
00:22:18.000 I don't blame them at all.
00:22:20.000 They did everything right.
00:22:22.000 It's you all that are hyping things up.
00:22:24.000 That's an elaborate shirt he has.
00:22:26.000 Isn't it?
00:22:27.000 Look.
00:22:27.000 He's got a back flap and gussets and turrets and little ventilators.
00:22:33.000 Lapels.
00:22:34.000 Why are you rolling your eyes, bitch?
00:22:35.000 He's got a point.
00:22:37.000 His point is that it's you people, the media, that is making this into a hype thing.
00:22:43.000 And that's a good point.
00:22:45.000 Now, he also said, I don't blame the Chinese.
00:22:49.000 That's a bad point.
00:22:51.000 Check out this random article I saw today in China Daily of all places, where you're not allowed to, to be honest.
00:22:57.000 So it's probably much worse than this says.
00:23:00.000 But 72 super rich dead before their time since 2003.
00:23:06.000 This is the world that the far left wants, where billionaires die.
00:23:10.000 Since 2003, 72 billionaires in the Chinese mainland have died of unnatural deaths.
00:23:15.000 The Chang Chun-based New Culture News reported Friday.
00:23:17.000 The paper reached such a conclusion after conducting a survey of public reports of billionaires' deaths over the past eight years.
00:23:23.000 Among the 72 billionaires, 15 were murdered.
00:23:28.000 That's like Hillary Clinton numbers.
00:23:31.000 17 committed suicide.
00:23:34.000 You committed suicide as a billionaire?
00:23:36.000 You must have been real sad.
00:23:38.000 Why didn't you go on a vacation?
00:23:39.000 I don't think you committed suicide.
00:23:41.000 I think someone put a gun in your hand and then pulled the trigger.
00:23:46.000 Seven died from accidents.
00:23:47.000 These can all go under murdered so far.
00:23:50.000 14 were executed according to the law.
00:23:54.000 What?
00:23:55.000 For what crime, please?
00:23:57.000 In what country?
00:23:58.000 And 19 died from diseases.
00:24:00.000 I would bet half those diseases were China getting involved.
00:24:05.000 This is what separates socialists from capitalists.
00:24:08.000 When capitalists see someone who's stinking rich, we go, cool.
00:24:14.000 Wow, you busted your ass.
00:24:16.000 And when socialists see someone, I'll let you see my gorgeous face from now on.
00:24:20.000 When socialists see someone who's successful, they go, fuck, I want that.
00:24:24.000 I want that money.
00:24:25.000 They're not excited for the person.
00:24:27.000 And I would argue the latter group is unusual.
00:24:29.000 I think what makes the West unique is that we like success.
00:24:34.000 Even in Canada, I noticed a difference.
00:24:36.000 The example I like to use is a Lamborghini.
00:24:38.000 In Montreal, if you saw a guy on St. Catherine Street in a Lamborghini, you'd laugh at him.
00:24:43.000 You'd think, what a fucking loser.
00:24:44.000 In New York, you see someone with a Lamborghini, you go, fuck, someone is kicking ass.
00:24:49.000 Phew.
00:24:50.000 Wow.
00:24:51.000 You have a lot of money, dude.
00:24:54.000 And I figured out a way for you to tell if you are one of these evil socialist shitstains or what if you're someone who appreciates exceptionalism.
00:25:06.000 And the best way to do this is the Marble Rally.
00:25:09.000 Marble Rally is now, it's basically becoming a professional sport.
00:25:12.000 It's been around for about 15 years.
00:25:14.000 And they race marbles down sand hills.
00:25:20.000 It's really cool if you can ever get the fucking video to load.
00:25:27.000 What's going on?
00:25:31.000 Seems to not, well.
00:25:37.000 So don't you just find yourself rooting for that blue marble in the front?
00:25:42.000 Yes.
00:25:43.000 Come on, dude.
00:25:44.000 Go for it.
00:25:45.000 Go for it.
00:25:45.000 Because races and sports simulate life.
00:25:48.000 Football and b.
00:25:52.000 I'm dying.
00:25:53.000 Football and baseball simulate war, which is a natural part of our existence.
00:25:58.000 It's in our DNA.
00:25:59.000 It's in our genetics To want to war, to have to war.
00:26:02.000 And we want to win our battles.
00:26:04.000 What the fuck's going on now?
00:26:07.000 This is freezing.
00:26:08.000 Why did you make it full screen, you goddamn retard?
00:26:11.000 See it better.
00:26:12.000 Well, we're not seeing it better.
00:26:16.000 You know what they do with these courses, too?
00:26:17.000 They add lumps and dips, and then they add forks in the road, which is exactly like life, right?
00:26:25.000 You have to make a choice sometimes.
00:26:26.000 Should I take this job in another city?
00:26:29.000 And sometimes that's a huge benefit.
00:26:31.000 Sometimes it's a mistake.
00:26:32.000 Sometimes your old company that you left is doing better.
00:26:35.000 Uh-oh, look at that.
00:26:36.000 That was the right move to make for blue ball.
00:26:38.000 See, I'm getting into it already.
00:26:39.000 I'm pretty into this.
00:26:40.000 But there's other times he's going to make a decision that he'll regret.
00:26:44.000 He's kicking ass now, though.
00:26:47.000 It's just got to be the weight of the marble.
00:26:49.000 You're anthropomorphizing these marbles.
00:26:52.000 Oh, see, that fucked him.
00:26:55.000 He hesitated, and now he's third.
00:26:57.000 All I can see is blue marble.
00:26:59.000 Me too.
00:27:01.000 Or teal.
00:27:02.000 Whatever.
00:27:03.000 Oh, he got passed by.
00:27:04.000 Or what's that?
00:27:05.000 Turquoise?
00:27:06.000 Turquoise Jade?
00:27:06.000 Aqua?
00:27:07.000 Oh, look, he made another bad move.
00:27:11.000 Wait, what happened?
00:27:13.000 It's frozen here.
00:27:14.000 Oh.
00:27:18.000 There we go.
00:27:20.000 Now he's number two, I think.
00:27:22.000 No, no, he's still third.
00:27:23.000 He was in third, but he was seven behind before.
00:27:25.000 He was like sixth before.
00:27:26.000 Now he's two.
00:27:27.000 Now he's two.
00:27:28.000 Are you serious?
00:27:29.000 Now he's one.
00:27:30.000 He's back in the lead.
00:27:32.000 Oh, my God.
00:27:33.000 You did it, Blue Balls.
00:27:34.000 This is crazy.
00:27:35.000 This is like my sex life.
00:27:36.000 Blue balls always come out in the front.
00:27:39.000 Always prevailing.
00:27:41.000 Yeah.
00:27:42.000 Drained balls don't do so aren't so common.
00:27:45.000 No, no, no.
00:27:46.000 Wow.
00:27:47.000 We don't see a lot of drained balls in my life.
00:27:49.000 We do see a lot of blue balls.
00:27:52.000 And drained ball is last.
00:27:53.000 Yes, blue balls win.
00:27:55.000 Holy cannoli.
00:27:56.000 It's exceptionalism.
00:27:58.000 Like when I see a billionaire, I see the same as when I look at, you know, Jacob deGrom pitch.
00:28:04.000 I just go, holy shit.
00:28:06.000 There is an incredibly talented person who's way out of my league.
00:28:10.000 And there should be.
00:28:11.000 You know, there's people who are seven feet tall.
00:28:14.000 There's going to be some ups and downs.
00:28:16.000 And if you look at IQ, you look at the Fields math medals, yes, there is this tiny elite group who wins all the mathematical medals because they're the best at it.
00:28:27.000 The same with basketball.
00:28:28.000 There's this elite group.
00:28:29.000 They go, well, only that 1% is part of the 2% that's paying for, they're making all the money of the 90%.
00:28:37.000 Yeah, Bernie, do that with the NBA.
00:28:39.000 Out of all the people, the 100% of people who play basketball, only 0.01% are in the NBA.
00:28:46.000 And out of all the money that the NBA gets, all the money that's given out to basketball players, only 0.001% get the money.
00:28:55.000 The rest of the people do it for free.
00:28:57.000 Most people who play basketball don't get one red cent.
00:29:01.000 They're out there doing it for free.
00:29:02.000 They can't pay the bills.
00:29:04.000 They can't support a family with the basketball.
00:29:07.000 College basketball players cannot support a family.
00:29:10.000 Only the NBA.
00:29:12.000 Yeah, some people deserve better.
00:29:14.000 So why would money be different than all of these other things?
00:29:18.000 With sports, we're all about normal at baseball.
00:29:20.000 We can all, all normal, healthy men can probably throw a ball at like 55 miles an hour.
00:29:26.000 Then there's a couple of freaks who can throw it above 90.
00:29:29.000 We watch them on the TV because they're special and they make tons of fucking money.
00:29:38.000 You know what the Don't Touch Trust China thing reminded me of?
00:29:40.000 Did you see this clip?
00:29:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:29:42.000 That Avi got?
00:29:42.000 China is ass-hole.
00:29:44.000 As her.
00:29:45.000 Donald Trump don't trust China.
00:29:47.000 China is asshole.
00:29:49.000 Who?
00:29:49.000 It's so.
00:29:50.000 There's no R. That's her.
00:29:52.000 Why are you adding a R. China is ass-ho?
00:29:56.000 China is ass-ho.
00:29:57.000 Yeah, that is it.
00:29:58.000 It's H-A-O-W-E.
00:30:00.000 As ho!
00:30:01.000 China is ass-ho!
00:30:04.000 Donald Trump don't trust China.
00:30:06.000 China is ass-ho!
00:30:07.000 Donald Trump don't trust China!
00:30:08.000 China is ass-ho!
00:30:09.000 China!
00:30:11.000 Oh my god, that's a great Halloween costume.
00:30:14.000 You just gotta, I can't do it because of my beard, but you just carry a Chinese flag and you have sunglasses and people don't know who you are.
00:30:19.000 And then every time someone asks you what you are, you go, China is ass-hoe!
00:30:23.000 Donald Trump don't trust China!
00:30:24.000 China is ass-ho!
00:30:26.000 The mouth.
00:30:28.000 Fuck, I wish I was Asian.
00:30:30.000 Wait, you're Asian.
00:30:31.000 You gotta be him.
00:30:32.000 I will.
00:30:32.000 They're gonna think I'm Rufia with that head.
00:30:34.000 Donald Trump don't trust China.
00:30:35.000 China is asshole.
00:30:37.000 They're like, oh, no, he doesn't have red hair.
00:30:38.000 That's an umbrella behind him.
00:30:40.000 Yeah.
00:30:40.000 You know, that's Abby Yamini, right?
00:30:42.000 Yes.
00:30:43.000 That's pretty, that's gold.
00:30:44.000 He got gold.
00:30:45.000 He got a viral chunk of gold.
00:30:46.000 Oh, I've watched that 740 times.
00:30:50.000 I don't know why.
00:30:53.000 You've probably seen this.
00:30:54.000 This was from last week, but I've never heard the word patroning before.
00:30:59.000 Alexandria Orquezo-Cortez.
00:31:01.000 This is before shit really blew up.
00:31:03.000 So she looks even stupider now.
00:31:05.000 But she said that we have to be patroning, not patronizing.
00:31:09.000 I think she's so fucking stupid that she doesn't get like patriarchy and what it comes from and patronizing.
00:31:16.000 She thinks the only word patronizing can possibly be, the only meaning it can possibly have, is when you're shitting on someone.
00:31:22.000 And like those message boards I was talking about, where they say, take a nap.
00:31:26.000 That's patronizing.
00:31:27.000 It also is to act as a patron and to patronize establishments.
00:31:32.000 Have you ever read, not even a book, have you ever read a magazine article, Alexandria?
00:31:39.000 If you order takeout, please consider ordering takeout from a honestly, it sounds almost so silly to say, but there's a lot of restaurants that are feeling the pain of racism, where people are literally not patroning Chinese restaurants.
00:31:57.000 They're not patroning Asian restaurants because of just straight up racism around the coronavirus.
00:32:02.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:32:04.000 Just pause.
00:32:05.000 It's not racism.
00:32:06.000 It's not prejudice.
00:32:07.000 It's post-judice.
00:32:09.000 Statistically, say we are worried about food.
00:32:12.000 Out of all the food that's going to get you sick, aren't the odds higher that's going to be Chinese food?
00:32:17.000 Food made by Chinese people?
00:32:18.000 Out of all the people that are going to give you coronavirus, aren't the odds higher, disproportionately higher at least among Chinese?
00:32:25.000 Are you allowed to notice that?
00:32:27.000 I feel like a Muppet with these hands.
00:32:29.000 I feel like Fozzie Bear.
00:32:30.000 you know how you'd always see him?
00:32:31.000 Yes, his little hand, little gestures.
00:32:34.000 I think that was someone's job entirely.
00:32:36.000 So, someone would be in here with the puppet and maybe moving the eyes once in a while for a blink, but then someone else's job was just to get under the table and just be like going, Oh, yeah, that can't be one guy, right?
00:32:46.000 So, inevitably, when you do that, you want to move around.
00:32:50.000 Yeah, you want to over-hand act.
00:32:52.000 If you look at me, I'd probably go like this for 90% of the show and then occasionally go like that.
00:32:56.000 But if you look at a Muppet, he's fucking, he just cannot enough of making his points.
00:33:03.000 Yeah, and every Italian, every Muppet's Italian, and they got a guy solely responsible for hands.
00:33:10.000 Patroning.
00:33:10.000 I looked up the word patroning because I thought, am I dumb?
00:33:13.000 And it said, word invented by Alexandria Egasio-Cortez.
00:33:18.000 And even in terms of what you can do, this is another thing, too.
00:33:22.000 At least she's a politician who ostensibly their role is to explain things to a bunch of people, and then they go out and do that.
00:33:29.000 I don't think it's effective, but at least there's a precedent set for that.
00:33:34.000 But local peoples just getting on their fucking message board, it's a good time to, you know, try to avoid contact, try to avoid kissing people on the lips, maybe use your elbow.
00:33:47.000 Who are you?
00:33:49.000 Order, you know, try to order local food and make sure that you tip service workers extra because this is incredibly important.
00:34:01.000 Telling me to tip more.
00:34:02.000 How do you know more than me?
00:34:04.000 Well, I was a bartender once.
00:34:05.000 Yeah, you still are, you stupid bitch.
00:34:10.000 Oh, this was a disturbing video.
00:34:12.000 We actually have evidence of the person behind.
00:34:16.000 We have patient zero here.
00:34:17.000 Spreading the disease.
00:34:20.000 Let me go fix this.
00:34:33.000 He looks like my buddy who just died.
00:34:36.000 The guy who was in the If Dudes Ran Fashion video.
00:34:41.000 But he died of cancer.
00:34:44.000 Do you think that's real?
00:34:46.000 What we just saw?
00:34:47.000 I think so.
00:34:48.000 But the dude, go back to the beginning.
00:34:51.000 How did the dude filming know it was about to get good?
00:34:54.000 Right.
00:34:55.000 You were just filming a random guy?
00:34:55.000 Good point.
00:34:58.000 No, this is fake.
00:34:59.000 Yeah, I smell it too now.
00:35:01.000 Yeah.
00:35:02.000 He goes, I'm going to go up there and lick the pole so you get to start videotaping me.
00:35:10.000 Here is why we don't give a shit about coronavirus.
00:35:12.000 Very handy graphic.
00:35:14.000 Stole this again from Milo.
00:35:15.000 All my good shit comes from Milo.
00:35:19.000 Breaking down the biggest plagues.
00:35:21.000 Of course, the bubonic plague, 200 million people.
00:35:25.000 Back in the 1300s, by the way, when we weren't known for our gigantic populations, Europe wasn't exactly hustling and bustling in the 1300s.
00:35:37.000 That was still back in the days of castles and bulwarks and storming the Bastille.
00:35:43.000 That was a big deal back in the 1300s.
00:35:47.000 That was like Game of Thrones type shit.
00:35:50.000 And we lost 200 million people.
00:35:54.000 Then smallpox, 56 million.
00:35:57.000 Apparently there was a bunch of plagues in the 17th and 18th centuries I didn't know about.
00:36:03.000 They were pretty small, 3,600,000.
00:36:06.000 Cholera was pretty bad.
00:36:08.000 I don't know what the third plague is.
00:36:10.000 You ever heard of that?
00:36:12.000 No.
00:36:12.000 Yellow fever I had for a while, but you get over it when you realize the girls tend not to have an ass.
00:36:21.000 Keep going.
00:36:23.000 Who's that big green guy?
00:36:25.000 Spanish flu, 40 to 50 million.
00:36:27.000 Oh, they spelled it wrong.
00:36:30.000 I don't get it.
00:36:32.000 That's not funny.
00:36:34.000 Asian flu, 1 million.
00:36:36.000 HIV AIDS, that's a biggie.
00:36:39.000 25 to 35 million.
00:36:41.000 You'll notice it's fuchsia.
00:36:45.000 SARS, nothing.
00:36:47.000 Swine flu, Ebola was much smaller than I thought, 11,000.
00:36:52.000 And then novel coronavirus, it looks actually too big in that picture.
00:37:00.000 That's 6.4,000, but ongoing.
00:37:02.000 And then scroll down, they sort of take them off the timeline and just show you them there.
00:37:07.000 You see the black death.
00:37:09.000 Not that we should be comparing everything to the most unimaginably horrific plague in the history of man, but smallpox, Spanish flu, I think those are relevant.
00:37:19.000 And then when you scroll down, you see novel coronavirus at the bottom there, and it's too small to graph.
00:37:31.000 6,000.
00:37:32.000 Can we fucking relax, please?
00:37:34.000 What's the New York City death toll at?
00:37:36.000 Two.
00:37:37.000 Ooh.
00:37:40.000 I'm so scared.
00:37:43.000 There's about a murder a day in East New York.
00:37:45.000 So let's fucking...
00:37:52.000 Jennifer Rubin, who claims to have been a Republican at some point, is one of the worst people alive.
00:37:59.000 And she's on MSNBC all the time saying extreme shit.
00:38:03.000 There's a theme with her quotes, and those are Trump supporters dying.
00:38:08.000 She wants us to die.
00:38:10.000 And here she is saying, this is an interesting way the news is phrased on the left, right?
00:38:17.000 Republicans are less hysterical and more rational about this outbreak, right?
00:38:24.000 Through their lens, they're not sea glasses, they see Republicans think it's a hoax and are risking their lives on a daily basis because they're so stupid.
00:38:35.000 Democrats are smart and they are controlling, they're flattening the curve by being rational about all this.
00:38:42.000 In Post piece that talks about the fact that older Americans are more worried about coronavirus unless they're Republicans.
00:38:50.000 No, not unless they're Republican, but older Republicans are less hysterical than left-wing old people.
00:39:02.000 Republican, Jennifer.
00:39:03.000 That we now have a situation where Trump's own people are actually in greater danger, but those of us who live in this earth can't even reach them.
00:39:13.000 They're not listening to it.
00:39:14.000 By the way, affirmative action hire.
00:39:17.000 You don't live in Earth unless you're a worm.
00:39:21.000 You live on Earth.
00:39:24.000 Those of us who live in Earth, she says.
00:39:28.000 And there is a particular cruelty, irony, that it is their core viewers, the Republican older viewers, as Eric said, who are the most at risk.
00:39:38.000 And when you think about it, which party immediately canceled all of their rallies?
00:39:43.000 Which party immediately started to political figures really portray and use their lives as an example?
00:39:52.000 It was the Democrats.
00:39:53.000 So there are going to be, I hate to put it in these terms, there are going to be less Democrat deaths because of there will be less.
00:39:58.000 Do you really hate to put it in these terms?
00:40:01.000 I don't think you do, my dear.
00:40:04.000 There will be less opportunities for people to congregate and share this horrible disease.
00:40:10.000 So it is really a very short-sighted strategy.
00:40:15.000 But I think now the name of the game is how do they get back on planet Earth?
00:40:19.000 And part of the way I think they're doing it is down the memory hole.
00:40:22.000 He jumped on this right away.
00:40:24.000 Don't you know?
00:40:25.000 It was because of all that planning that we're doing so well, which is head spinning for the rest of us who watched him for weeks say this was a hoax.
00:40:34.000 He never said it was a fucking hoax.
00:40:36.000 He said it's not a big deal.
00:40:38.000 And it is not a big deal.
00:40:40.000 Suddenly, he's been the most preactive.
00:40:44.000 Russia.
00:40:44.000 He's been the toughest on them.
00:40:45.000 He's been the toughest on them.
00:40:46.000 So they will kind of.
00:40:48.000 Isn't this ironic, by the way, that this fucking bitch is talking about how we are full of shit on the right and we always backpedal and we say something and then deny it happened.
00:40:58.000 Meanwhile, I think I may have sent this to you.
00:41:01.000 This massive list of all the things they said was going to be huge.
00:41:05.000 Remember, he's going to get impeached.
00:41:06.000 That's going to be the end.
00:41:07.000 I remember even before Trump was elected, Greg Guttfeld would text me all the time and go, your boy just blew it.
00:41:16.000 It's all over for your boy.
00:41:18.000 Back to the pussy thing.
00:41:20.000 From the pussy thing on, every week it's been, oh, this is the end.
00:41:23.000 Did I send that to you?
00:41:26.000 Was that after the show notes?
00:41:29.000 No.
00:41:31.000 Well, I've been talking on this microphone ever since I sent you that other picture.
00:41:34.000 How would it include that?
00:41:38.000 Wait, I'll find it for a second because it is relevant.
00:41:41.000 Should I play the rest of the clip?
00:41:43.000 Yeah.
00:41:44.000 Get in line and get in sync.
00:41:47.000 And, you know, we're always saying, but, but, but, you know, pointing to the past, they don't.
00:41:52.000 They simply move with the flow.
00:41:54.000 Every day is a new day.
00:41:55.000 Every day is a new storyline.
00:41:56.000 And they're going to stick with it.
00:41:58.000 I think the problem is going to be.
00:42:00.000 So here's all the things the left has told us were the apocalypse, and they were wrong.
00:42:05.000 Remember when net neutrality was going to destroy the open internet?
00:42:08.000 Moving the embassy to Jerusalem was going to start mass riots.
00:42:12.000 Trump was going to start a nuclear war with Korea by shaking his hand.
00:42:17.000 The Dow Jones would crash way below 18,000 and never recover.
00:42:21.000 Wait a minute.
00:42:22.000 Hasn't it crashed below that already?
00:42:23.000 Well, we know it's going to recover.
00:42:26.000 Pulling troops out of Syria was going to lead to the destruction of the Kurds.
00:42:29.000 Remember that one?
00:42:30.000 When they all of a sudden gave a shit about the Kurds?
00:42:34.000 What are you making, Putin?
00:42:36.000 Remember when Adam Schiff had concrete evidence that Trump colluded with Russia?
00:42:40.000 Remember when we were going to see evidence that Brett Kavanaugh was a gang rapist and that the Covington Catholic High School students were white supremacists?
00:42:47.000 Remember when the Trump tax cut was only going to benefit the rich?
00:42:51.000 Remember when Trump's presidency was going to be brought down by Michael Cohen, Omarosa, John Kelly, Michael Wolf, Jim Mattis, John Bolton?
00:43:00.000 Remember when killing Qasim Soleiami was going to lead to World War III?
00:43:04.000 Do you remember that one?
00:43:07.000 Remember when we on this show and our investigative journalism noticed that his ring doesn't match up?
00:43:13.000 All right, let's go to the mailbag, but I want to start with one I sent you separately a while ago, meaning like a few hours ago, that I think would be a great intro.
00:43:22.000 And it's a good segue from coronavirus to mailbag.
00:43:25.000 And tomorrow, we're going to, unless there's really groundbreaking news, I think we've busted our nut.
00:43:30.000 We're no longer blueballed when it comes to coronavirus.
00:43:33.000 We can get back to normality, normalcy tomorrow.
00:43:36.000 We can start patroning normalcy.
00:43:39.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:43:44.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
00:43:50.000 Let me touch it.
00:43:52.000 I got to say, the quality of letters we get is abnormally high.
00:43:58.000 And I'm going back to Vice days where we would get physical letters to the editor.
00:44:02.000 So I think I'm pretty well versed in what typical letters are.
00:44:07.000 And these are abnormally high quality.
00:44:09.000 I put different flags on my computer, what ones are worth reading, and I put red flags on the ones that aren't.
00:44:16.000 And I would say I have 11 blue flags for every one red flag.
00:44:22.000 And the red flags are just things like we've already discussed it.
00:44:30.000 Or I don't think it's that exciting.
00:44:32.000 But they're never complete pieces of shit.
00:44:36.000 Okay, this is from Rubin, like the sandwich.
00:44:40.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm a mathematician at the Dutch Mathematical Institute.
00:44:44.000 I've spent the past couple weeks modeling the outbreak of the new virus in several countries.
00:44:49.000 The reason the US is fine so far is because of general low population density.
00:44:54.000 Conversely, the EU has a general high population density, and this is why we're really, really fucked.
00:45:01.000 Sure, there are other things that kill more people yearly, but our medical system is built around handling this.
00:45:08.000 The demand for these things grows slowly and predictably.
00:45:11.000 For example, cancer kills lots of people, but the demand for cancer doesn't jump up and down.
00:45:19.000 It grows slowly, and therefore we can adapt.
00:45:22.000 Like an asshole.
00:45:24.000 Like a asshole.
00:45:26.000 You get what he's saying?
00:45:29.000 This new virus Is causing a sudden spike in demand for intensive care, and intensive care is not elastic.
00:45:34.000 We can't just produce more intensive care beds and mechanical ventilators.
00:45:38.000 If they're gone, they're gone.
00:45:40.000 And people start dying hard.
00:45:43.000 Die hard.
00:45:44.000 Yippee Kaye, motherfucker.
00:45:47.000 He should have said that.
00:45:48.000 Yes, sir.
00:45:50.000 You can see this happening in Italy, where they were fine until they ran out of IC spots.
00:45:54.000 Then the CFR started shooting up.
00:45:57.000 Quick maths.
00:45:59.000 They pluralize it in Europe.
00:46:00.000 10% of cases need an IC bed.
00:46:03.000 In the Netherlands, we have 2,000 of those, of which 1,600 have ventilators.
00:46:08.000 70 to 90% of those are occupied at any given time, which leaves us 200 to 600 beds.
00:46:15.000 That's 2,000 to 6,000 infections until the system starts breaking down.
00:46:21.000 We're on track to cross the 2,000 number in a week.
00:46:24.000 What countries are next?
00:46:27.000 Iceland and Norway are irrevocably fucked.
00:46:30.000 Thousands will die.
00:46:31.000 Iceland has 30 IC beds.
00:46:34.000 They are so fucked.
00:46:36.000 Iceland's a very tiny country.
00:46:38.000 You can't stand anywhere.
00:46:39.000 It's volcanic rock shooting up like Superman's house everywhere.
00:46:43.000 It's not easy to go for a promenade.
00:46:45.000 The Fortress of Solid.
00:46:46.000 In Iceland.
00:46:48.000 And that's why I said, when I say we're not scared, I'm talking about America.
00:46:53.000 I'm not going to speak as an expert on Iceland.
00:46:56.000 Is the U.S. going to be fine?
00:46:59.000 Mostly.
00:46:59.000 Washington is kind of wobbling, but if this quarantine thing goes well, the situation is very, very manageable.
00:47:07.000 I have included my model shit shit out.
00:47:11.000 What?
00:47:12.000 I have included some charts.
00:47:13.000 Oh, my model shit out.
00:47:15.000 I like how he makes learning cool, isn't it?
00:47:17.000 Yeah.
00:47:18.000 Yeah, you guys are really, really fucked.
00:47:20.000 Anyway, my model has shat out some grass that you can totally shove up your fucking ass, dude.
00:47:28.000 To illustrate my point, I want to fuck you with my heels on.
00:47:33.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
00:47:36.000 How has this become the anthem?
00:47:40.000 I much preferred I like you more than a friend.
00:47:45.000 Yes, well, the times have changed, McGinnis.
00:47:48.000 Jesus H. I want to fuck you with my heels on.
00:47:54.000 In fact, I think I have a letter about Lady Saw.
00:47:57.000 Did I already read that?
00:48:00.000 I remember one about her.
00:48:01.000 I mean, I'm sure there's got to be more.
00:48:05.000 Lady Saw's gospel.
00:48:06.000 Stop me if I've already said this letter.
00:48:10.000 Gavin O'Reilly, I host an Airbnb in the LA area.
00:48:13.000 I just had a guy from Bahamas check in.
00:48:14.000 He said something about sexy fat women heels, referring to this painting.
00:48:19.000 And then the painting is Bathroom by Fernando.
00:48:24.000 Oh, that guy who draws all fatties.
00:48:26.000 You'll notice his fatties don't have cellulite.
00:48:29.000 No, it's just a round.
00:48:30.000 I saw a fucking guy at CVS the other day.
00:48:33.000 I'll send you the picture and it'll arrive in a week.
00:48:34.000 Um, who had, he, Yeah.
00:48:50.000 I'll call it pants.
00:48:52.000 And I could see the cellulite of his fucking ass.
00:48:58.000 So he's like, like, I get the jeans, the low-slung jeans thing that you got from prison or some shit.
00:49:03.000 But at least have a gorgeous ass, be slim, and make it jeans.
00:49:08.000 Don't have sweatpants falling down like you didn't pull them up after you took a shit.
00:49:12.000 And then cellulite on your fucking butt cheeks.
00:49:16.000 Anyway, sorry, this guy said he's an earthy black guy.
00:49:21.000 What?
00:49:22.000 What does that mean?
00:49:23.000 He lives in earth?
00:49:25.000 Was very, oh, sorry.
00:49:27.000 I just had to ask him if he knows Lady Saw.
00:49:29.000 He was very impressed that I knew of her music.
00:49:31.000 He also winked and said that Heels, which I meant, of course, is a filthy song.
00:49:36.000 He also said she doesn't go by Lady Saw anymore.
00:49:38.000 She's now a Christian.
00:49:40.000 Oh, she wrote enough ding-dongs to last her a lifetime.
00:49:43.000 Anyway, I've gotten a lot of the intro music, especially when you feature new or relatively unknown artists, even though a lot of musicians seem to lean left.
00:49:48.000 I find it fun to listen to music I've discovered through the show, especially when I'm the first one, my mostly lefty friends to know about it.
00:49:55.000 Come stare at my Airbnb anytime.
00:49:57.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.
00:50:00.000 I want to bless you with my crucifix on.
00:50:02.000 Yeah.
00:50:03.000 How does she translate into Christian?
00:50:05.000 Here's another.
00:50:05.000 Oh man, we have a lot.
00:50:06.000 I could do a whole show on ladies' saws.
00:50:08.000 This is from Gabe.
00:50:09.000 Hey, Gavin, are you purposely misquoting Lady Saw?
00:50:12.000 It's let me fuck you with my heels on.
00:50:15.000 Not I want to fuck you with my heels on.
00:50:17.000 And how about in a couple of lines when she says, let me put this pussy on you?
00:50:23.000 P.S. Dude, this dollar sign on the wrong side of the number is driving me fucking insane.
00:50:29.000 The top meme on Reddit the other day said one dollar sign.
00:50:33.000 Don't you wish schools would work?
00:50:35.000 It really is, it's hair-pulling material with these millennials putting the dollar sign on the wrong side.
00:50:41.000 And what's worse is when I point it out and they go, no, you say $100, like the way Ryan can never accept criticism and always defends himself.
00:50:50.000 So they'll go, no, no, it's $100.
00:50:52.000 So you put dollars at the end.
00:50:54.000 And they're putting percent in the front.
00:50:57.000 You don't say percent 100.
00:51:00.000 Oh, good.
00:51:00.000 You got it.
00:51:02.000 Look at this fucking idiot.
00:51:04.000 And we're all waiting to get out of there.
00:51:06.000 And he's just chatting and chatting away.
00:51:12.000 You can't really see the cellulite.
00:51:13.000 We'd have to pump up the contrast.
00:51:15.000 Pump up the contrast, pump up the contrast.
00:51:18.000 I'm going to wear my pants like that for one day.
00:51:20.000 I think that you're seeing that, by the way, folks at home, and you're going, that's not so annoying.
00:51:24.000 Gavin spoiled.
00:51:25.000 Trust me, in real life, it was much more annoying.
00:51:27.000 It's Andrew.
00:51:28.000 And his shirt is going low, too.
00:51:30.000 So you're seeing the middle to the bottom of his butt cheeks.
00:51:33.000 I know it looks like the top.
00:51:35.000 No.
00:51:37.000 Those Yeezys?
00:51:38.000 No.
00:51:39.000 Those are the calabasics or whatever.
00:51:43.000 Oh, look, here's another letter saying that I want to call you on the Ladies Saw song.
00:51:49.000 You always misquote the lyrics.
00:51:51.000 It's Let Me Fuck You With My Heels On.
00:51:53.000 Yeah.
00:51:54.000 Boy, people are real pissed about this.
00:51:56.000 Yeah.
00:51:56.000 Question about Gary's mailbag.
00:51:58.000 Is Gary usually that bland and unopinionated?
00:52:00.000 Yes.
00:52:01.000 What do you think?
00:52:02.000 He's really exciting and charming on the streets.
00:52:05.000 The only thing he asks you on the streets is, do you have a cigarette?
00:52:09.000 And he's yet to recognize me, by the way.
00:52:11.000 Really?
00:52:12.000 You can just walk right by?
00:52:13.000 Yeah.
00:52:13.000 Does he say your name when he sees you?
00:52:15.000 No.
00:52:18.000 He goes, Hey, do you have a cigarette?
00:52:20.000 Hey, I want to get some money for lunch.
00:52:27.000 All right, that's enough of that letter.
00:52:28.000 Let's get back to non-lady saw letters.
00:52:34.000 Actually, look at this.
00:52:35.000 Okay, one more.
00:52:36.000 See if you have an email from Gravel Bear.
00:52:39.000 Just the one with the link?
00:52:41.000 Yeah.
00:52:41.000 I had the Jesus.
00:52:43.000 Yeah.
00:52:44.000 Oh, you have it queued up?
00:52:45.000 Yep.
00:52:47.000 Bluzic Filmworks.
00:52:51.000 Good quality.
00:52:57.000 We're going to rape you, bitch.
00:52:59.000 Because we don't have Jesus in our lives.
00:53:01.000 Ha ha ha.
00:53:02.000 This is going to be a major rape.
00:53:06.000 I had Jesus.
00:53:07.000 And then I became a rapist.
00:53:09.000 It's from the perspective of guys who aren't Christian anymore.
00:53:11.000 Wait, turn it up.
00:53:13.000 This song is dedicated to women.
00:53:16.000 Women who have been raped.
00:53:17.000 Women who have been beaten.
00:53:19.000 Women who have been forced into prostitution.
00:53:22.000 Women who have been addicted to drugs.
00:53:24.000 Broken women.
00:53:26.000 Women who should have been dead women.
00:53:30.000 Why is she mansplaining for women?
00:53:36.000 I've been beaten.
00:53:40.000 I've been raped.
00:53:42.000 I'm going to be a little bit more.
00:53:43.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:53:45.000 But I never lose my faith.
00:53:48.000 Oh, raped in faith?
00:53:50.000 Sort of.
00:53:50.000 It was an AAB.
00:53:51.000 Oh, I've been weeped.
00:53:55.000 But don't you get it twisted.
00:53:58.000 I guess riding on my ding dong is out.
00:54:11.000 He never let go of your hand?
00:54:12.000 Oh, look, someone was riding someone's ding-dong.
00:54:15.000 I guess he's saying Jesus is holding you even when you fuck them with your heels on.
00:54:18.000 He's my Jesus and a man.
00:54:21.000 He said I am Jesus and a man.
00:54:25.000 She still got her heels on.
00:54:27.000 All right, that's enough.
00:54:30.000 Thank you for that.
00:54:33.000 It's actually more obscene than her other song.
00:54:38.000 All right, let's get to some letters then.
00:54:40.000 Ready?
00:54:40.000 How are we doing for Tizine?
00:54:42.000 Pretty good.
00:54:42.000 Uh, da-ba-da-ba-da.
00:54:46.000 I want to fucking put my heels on, yeah.
00:54:49.000 Yeah.
00:54:51.000 Gavin, aging like milk.
00:54:53.000 That doesn't sound very flattering.
00:54:54.000 This is from a guy named Austin.
00:54:56.000 I've been going through the CRTV archives recently, and my God, in the past three years, you've aged about 10 years.
00:55:01.000 You appear to be drying up like some sort of large raisin.
00:55:04.000 Your chin is that of a water buffalo.
00:55:07.000 So big.
00:55:07.000 Thank you.
00:55:09.000 Even though you don't smoke, you look like you smell like an ashtray.
00:55:12.000 Your beard gives me a steel wool vibe.
00:55:15.000 The other day I'm watching an app and I think, oh, cool, Jimmy is on.
00:55:18.000 Nope, that's the G-Man.
00:55:20.000 The tattoos now look ridiculous.
00:55:23.000 You should have them removed.
00:55:24.000 Seriously, when my niece draws on herself, we get a good laugh.
00:55:27.000 Oh, look at her.
00:55:28.000 She's so goofy.
00:55:29.000 Good thing that stuff washes off.
00:55:31.000 So we're supposed to look at some geriatric that has drawn on himself and think, oh, yeah, man, that's really cool.
00:55:35.000 What does that one mean?
00:55:37.000 Can you make that one of your dictator rules, by the way?
00:55:40.000 Tattoos should not mean anything.
00:55:41.000 You want to have an inspirational quote or someone to look at?
00:55:43.000 Use a fucking sticky note, you child.
00:55:46.000 Well, what does that leave then if they're not supposed to mean anything?
00:55:49.000 Just like a ball?
00:55:51.000 Yeah, tribal?
00:55:53.000 It is a ball.
00:55:57.000 If this hurts your feelings, I do humbly apologize.
00:56:00.000 It's what's inside that counts, bud.
00:56:02.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.
00:56:04.000 P.S., you only had a few thousand subscribers on your Reddit page, but as far as I can tell, the whole thing has been deleted.
00:56:10.000 Really?
00:56:11.000 Let's look that up.
00:56:12.000 Gavin read it.
00:56:20.000 It's up.
00:56:21.000 Liar.
00:56:22.000 Your pants are on...
00:56:25.000 I may be ugly, but at least my pants are not on fire.
00:56:33.000 Thank you, Ryan.
00:56:33.000 Look.
00:56:39.000 Did you mean to make your face do that?
00:56:46.000 The hairline doesn't seem that different either.
00:56:48.000 No.
00:56:49.000 I think you're just being a little hard on yourself, is all.
00:56:51.000 I'm not hard on myself.
00:56:58.000 Oh, this is a long one.
00:57:01.000 I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
00:57:03.000 Boys, hope you two are prepared for quite the boogaloo on the horizon.
00:57:07.000 I'm not worried, though.
00:57:08.000 I wanted to point out the absolute buffoonery of this newest liberal talking point.
00:57:12.000 There aren't enough COVID-19 tests.
00:57:15.000 It's Trump's fault.
00:57:16.000 What fucking good is a test if there's no cure?
00:57:19.000 What fucking good is a vaccine if it may or may not work?
00:57:23.000 In my opinion, a vaccine is not a cure for a virus like this.
00:57:26.000 All it really is is a mere dart thrown at the walls with the hopes of hitting the bullseye.
00:57:30.000 What fucking good is any medicine if you eat 10 quarter pounders throughout the week while sitting on the fucking couch playing those ridiculous video games?
00:57:40.000 I'm so sick of these fucking liberals echoing anti-Trump rhetoric, making things worse.
00:57:44.000 For example, liberal and fat Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker said on Meet the Press, the federal government has fallen down.
00:57:52.000 He repeated it so incessantly throughout the interview that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00:57:56.000 All the hysteria from these state politicians caused a run on the stores and nothing but chaos.
00:58:02.000 Yeah, like that embarrassing paper towel fight we saw.
00:58:07.000 What are these?
00:58:07.000 What's so magic about these?
00:58:10.000 Oh, it looked like there was a bloodstain on this, but it's just a hole.
00:58:14.000 What is so magic about these?
00:58:16.000 What are you doing?
00:58:18.000 You ever heard of a dish towel?
00:58:20.000 You can wash a cloth, you realize.
00:58:25.000 They're not magic.
00:58:29.000 Lastly, this entire, oh, sorry, what can Trump be expected to do once this occurs?
00:58:33.000 His only option is to ramp up the quarantine and prove he hasn't fallen down.
00:58:37.000 Lastly, this entire weekend I saw extremely busy retail stores and shopping centers, even throughout the government, after the government explicitly said that social distancing is critical and highly recommended.
00:58:47.000 What happens when citizens blow through these government suggestions?
00:58:50.000 Here's what.
00:58:50.000 The government will only have to enforce these recommendations with the full faith and power of the government.
00:58:56.000 It won't be pretty.
00:58:57.000 Crazy times.
00:58:58.000 Stay safe out there.
00:59:00.000 More advice.
00:59:04.000 Do we have any suggestions?
00:59:06.000 Do we have any suggestions?
00:59:08.000 No.
00:59:09.000 Not so far.
00:59:10.000 I guess you scared people off.
00:59:12.000 What do you mean?
00:59:13.000 My suggestions to fight coronavirus?
00:59:14.000 No, the suggestion box.
00:59:16.000 Oh.
00:59:19.000 Gavin, my dad sent me this video on Twitter.
00:59:21.000 Being a father myself, I have learned a few things about parenthood.
00:59:25.000 Oh, I don't think this got sent to you.
00:59:28.000 Did it?
00:59:30.000 Parenthood, what is the writer's name?
00:59:33.000 Matt.
00:59:36.000 Otis Simbos.
00:59:39.000 No, it's not the Otis Simbos.
00:59:40.000 I'll send it to you.
00:59:41.000 My dad sent me this video on Twitter.
00:59:43.000 Being a father myself, I've learned a few things about parenthood.
00:59:46.000 It kind of makes you a pussy.
00:59:47.000 Slow down, my friend.
00:59:49.000 It makes you a crybaby.
00:59:52.000 And not a crybaby like you cry all the time when you're sad or if someone says they don't like your sunglasses, but you cry when you see little kids doing stuff.
01:00:03.000 That's an acceptable cry.
01:00:06.000 I can send you a list of the acceptable cries.
01:00:09.000 You can cry when a group bands together and overcomes adversity.
01:00:15.000 You can cry anything war-related, but even then, the cry has to just sort of be your eyes moistening up.
01:00:19.000 You can never go, you can never do an ugly cry.
01:00:25.000 I teared up for this one.
01:00:27.000 And then he says, man, lost 16-year-old son in a car wreck.
01:00:30.000 He decided to donate his son's organs, including his heart.
01:00:32.000 This month, the heart recipient sent dad a surprise gift.
01:00:36.000 All right, let's see if we can handle this.
01:00:38.000 This is from the heart recipient of his dead son.
01:00:44.000 Need to carry a leather man, dude.
01:00:47.000 And he does.
01:00:48.000 Oh, geez.
01:00:53.000 Okay.
01:00:55.000 You got to do the sides, too.
01:00:56.000 You're going to have to rip it.
01:00:58.000 He's strong.
01:01:01.000 Let's see how strong.
01:01:02.000 The honest death man would have preferred to get the two year in person, but not sure when that would happen.
01:01:09.000 As you know, by one for the one-year checkup this past week, while we were there, the pair put top medical poster we ordered.
01:01:24.000 Deaf or Southern?
01:01:26.000 They made arrangements with the Echo Cardiogram team.
01:01:33.000 I think Deaf.
01:01:34.000 Echo Cardiogram.
01:01:35.000 I made the recording with the acrocardiogram.
01:01:37.000 Aww.
01:01:44.000 Aww.
01:01:46.000 Is it Johnny Apple CBD?
01:01:48.000 Fill the beer.
01:01:49.000 Fill the beer.
01:01:59.000 No offense, but I would like subtitles for that.
01:02:05.000 Wait, what is this?
01:02:06.000 It's a teddy bear, but that's the sound of his son's heart beat.
01:02:16.000 That's pretty sad.
01:02:21.000 All right, you got us, dude.
01:02:24.000 Yeah, that was rough.
01:02:25.000 It's from James.
01:02:26.000 Hey, guys, wondering if you've ever been to any breweries either in the U.S. or in other countries.
01:02:30.000 Yes, well, I think I've been to whiskey tours.
01:02:32.000 I'm not sure I've been to a brewery.
01:02:34.000 Besides small little crafty shit.
01:02:36.000 Since you're such a fan of Budweiser, a good visit to their original brewery in St. Louis would be worth it.
01:02:41.000 I've grown to love the taste of Budweiser.
01:02:43.000 It's a nice place to go if you're on a trip with your family.
01:02:48.000 Thanks for that, dude.
01:02:52.000 Isn't that weird?
01:02:53.000 Yeah, I'm sure if I'm in St. Louis, which I would never be because it's a fucking dangerous shithole, one of the worst places in America, Wiggers Central, Gang Violence Central.
01:03:06.000 But yeah, I guess it would make sense if I had time and it was killing time in St. Louis to go check out the Budweiser Brewery.
01:03:13.000 But this goes back to what I was saying at the beginning of the episode.
01:03:15.000 Like, I don't understand people's brains.
01:03:19.000 I went to House on the Rock.
01:03:20.000 You ever been to House on the Rock?
01:03:22.000 It's a really cool thing in Wisconsin built by an eccentric billionaire where he just collected things, but he would collect things like merry-go-rounds and bands that are robots.
01:03:35.000 Cars, like, and he put all his collections in this giant, never-ending, what are you showing me?
01:03:42.000 This is a tour.
01:03:44.000 Yeah, so there's his car collection, blah, blah, blah.
01:03:46.000 I had a nice time.
01:03:47.000 In fact, I've been back many times.
01:03:49.000 Whenever I visit my wife's family in Madison, we check out House on the Rock.
01:03:52.000 There he collects ads for tapeworms because that was a thing in the 1800s where you get a tapeworm to slim down, to lose weight.
01:04:01.000 Lots of cool shit.
01:04:02.000 There he's collecting people's libraries.
01:04:05.000 That's a collection he has.
01:04:07.000 But it wouldn't occur to me to write into a show and say, dear Tucker Carlson, I was recently in Wisconsin at the House on the Rock, and he collects weather balloons and all kinds of weird shit.
01:04:21.000 And if you're baked, it will fucking blow your mind.
01:04:24.000 I actually had to sat down because I almost started having a panic attack.
01:04:29.000 Anyhow, when you're in Wisconsin, be sure to check it out.
01:04:33.000 Sincerely, stranger.
01:04:37.000 That sounds like that goes in the old suggestion box.
01:04:42.000 It does.
01:04:48.000 Here is your suggestion to go and see the brewery in St. Louis where bud is made.
01:04:54.000 Fuck off.
01:04:56.000 What a waste of time.
01:05:00.000 This is from Gabe.
01:05:01.000 Hey, Gav, I love the surveillance cameraman video so much, I watched the rest of it.
01:05:06.000 I think the guy is a privacy advocate.
01:05:08.000 He says things like, There are cameras in there, wherever they are, or do you have something to hide?
01:05:13.000 His point is that they are videotaped everywhere they go, and he's showing that it's an invasion of privacy that should make you mad.
01:05:21.000 How do you feel about privacy issues?
01:05:25.000 I got to be honest.
01:05:26.000 When I saw Britain go nuts with CCTV and when New York started incorporating it in the early 2000s, I was pissed off about it.
01:05:33.000 I obviously don't trust authorities.
01:05:35.000 However, in a shithole like New York City, and sorry, St. Louis, but I'm lumping my own city in with you.
01:05:44.000 It just seems to catch so many fucking rapists.
01:05:47.000 And some teenager who beats the shit out of an 82-year-old.
01:05:53.000 Oh, I almost felt like I knew that guy.
01:05:56.000 Who beats the shit out of an 82-year-old and takes her purse.
01:05:59.000 Sometimes that's all we have to go on.
01:06:00.000 And in these communities where they hate the cops so much, like Harlem and East New York, if we didn't have a video picture of the guy, we'd have nothing.
01:06:10.000 So I didn't like the loss of privacy when CCTV cameras started.
01:06:16.000 But after seeing like 70 teenagers, youths beat the shit out of an 82-year-old and rape her and take her money and go to jail for it, I kind of changed my mind.
01:06:27.000 So that's where I'm standing at now.
01:06:29.000 All right.
01:06:30.000 I think we're done.
01:06:31.000 Let's go to the video finale of the show, wherein it's called Racist Canadian Freak Out.
01:06:39.000 And it's a woman whose face is covered.
01:06:41.000 She was born here in Canada, but she's wearing the full burqa.
01:06:46.000 And he doesn't like it.
01:06:48.000 And he's voicing his opinion about it.
01:06:51.000 But this is called Racist Rant.
01:06:53.000 And I watched it.
01:06:53.000 I'm like, more like Canadian TED Talk.
01:06:57.000 Mobile TED Talks.
01:06:58.000 Yeah.
01:06:59.000 Subway TED Talk with informed person.
01:07:02.000 Bones Heckler.
01:07:04.000 I'm actually glad you're doing this.
01:07:06.000 You're helping European people wake up.
01:07:08.000 You're making them aware of who they are because knowing who you are is knowing who you're not.
01:07:12.000 And what aren't you?
01:07:14.000 I'm not a person that practices backwards ideologies and norms and customs.
01:07:19.000 So just pause.
01:07:20.000 When he says, I'm glad you're doing this, he means practicing devout Muslim training and wearing the full burqa.
01:07:27.000 We assume praying five times a day and everything else that you do when you're a devout Muslim.
01:07:31.000 So he's saying, I'm glad you're doing this because we see you and go, yeah.
01:07:36.000 You're worth half the value of a male.
01:07:38.000 Did you have a bad day today?
01:07:41.000 Is that why you're rational?
01:07:42.000 I'm part of an experimental society.
01:07:44.000 No one asked me if I want to be a fucking experiment in my own country.
01:07:47.000 Ms. Paj.
01:07:49.000 That's a relevant thing that people often bring up where they say, we're part of the diversity experiment.
01:07:54.000 And I understand that rationale, but shouldn't the people in the experiment be consulted first before they're used as pawns in a multicultural game?
01:08:05.000 And by the way, it has been tested and we've noticed that many cultures assimilate, Hindus, Sikhs, but Muslims don't seem to blend in as much.
01:08:16.000 And as he pointed out, Sharia has women as second-class citizens.
01:08:20.000 Citizens, their worth is literally half in that of a man.
01:08:24.000 And that's not something that we practice here in the West.
01:08:29.000 You wouldn't know, though.
01:08:30.000 You came from a violent and collagenist society.
01:08:32.000 Now that you're in our society, you should come down to running your presidents.
01:08:35.000 Where you should leave.
01:08:40.000 I would never go to your country and say, oh, you should be more Canadian, or you should eat this food, or speak this language.
01:08:47.000 That would be racist.
01:08:49.000 You come here.
01:08:50.000 What does it mean to be Canadian?
01:08:51.000 What does it mean to be Canadian?
01:08:52.000 Speak English, respect gender equality, believe in parliamentary democracy, you like hockey, basketball, baseball, you like greeting.
01:08:58.000 How are we having this conversation if I don't speak English?
01:09:01.000 You should fucking know.
01:09:02.000 Why are you asking me?
01:09:03.000 I'm speaking English right now, though.
01:09:05.000 It's amazing.
01:09:05.000 You're one of the 58% that actually do speak English.
01:09:09.000 This is a Canadian.
01:09:11.000 No offense to my present land.
01:09:15.000 But if this was on the Long Island Railroad or Metro North or the subway, it'd be like, you're fucking annoying.
01:09:20.000 You look like a fucking garbage bag.
01:09:23.000 And then when she says, what's Canadian?
01:09:25.000 Well, believing in a parliamentary democracy, speaking English.
01:09:28.000 And then she goes, I speak English.
01:09:29.000 And he knows the percentage of people in Toronto that speak English.
01:09:35.000 She just learned a couple of things.
01:09:37.000 Yeah, you are officially getting schooled.
01:09:39.000 This is not your typical dumb racist.
01:09:42.000 And can you size it better so we can see his boots?
01:09:44.000 I think he has red wings on.
01:09:46.000 His boots are out of frame in this particular case.
01:09:48.000 Oh, I see.
01:09:48.000 I'm sorry.
01:09:49.000 I apologize.
01:09:50.000 Yeah.
01:09:50.000 Yeah.
01:09:51.000 I have to speak it because all our signs are in English.
01:09:53.000 We haven't completely turned our culture into trash.
01:09:55.000 We're just in the process of it, and no one asked me if I want that to happen.
01:09:58.000 You're so proud of being a colonizer.
01:10:00.000 I'm proud to be it.
01:10:01.000 I was born into it.
01:10:02.000 Just like you were born into an oppressive, totalitarian society.
01:10:04.000 You couldn't help it.
01:10:05.000 You're a product, though.
01:10:07.000 I was born in Canada.
01:10:08.000 It's amazing.
01:10:09.000 It's fucking amazing you.
01:10:11.000 That's an interesting distinction.
01:10:13.000 Because her point is, I'm Canadian.
01:10:15.000 Canadians wear burqas.
01:10:17.000 Yeah, I see that argument.
01:10:20.000 But when he's saying where you come from, burqas are not a Canadian thing.
01:10:25.000 They don't come from Canada.
01:10:28.000 Now, I'm open to tolerating them.
01:10:31.000 I understand that argument.
01:10:32.000 Someone wants to wear them in this country, but they're not Canadian.
01:10:36.000 So if you're, again, you have to use Japan because people get so offended.
01:10:39.000 If you were to go to Japan and just always wear your shoes inside, I personally don't really have a huge problem with that.
01:10:45.000 But you'd have to understand that what you're doing when you walk around their house in shoes is not Japanese.
01:10:50.000 It's anti-assimilation.
01:10:52.000 It's you doing a new non-Japanese thing in Japan.
01:10:56.000 And wearing a burqa is doing a non-Canadian thing or a non-American thing, a non-Western thing in the West.
01:11:02.000 It's great that you assume that from somewhere else.
01:11:04.000 It's amazing.
01:11:05.000 Yeah, it's great to assume that you're saying that you know your culture's from somewhere else.
01:11:08.000 You have no guts to show your face.
01:11:09.000 They're showing their face.
01:11:10.000 You guys live in a high-trust society.
01:11:12.000 You come from a low-trust society.
01:11:13.000 We have hydrogen because men will rape you if you don't wear that sort of thing.
01:11:16.000 That's why four European countries banned it.
01:11:18.000 Germany, Belgium, France.
01:11:20.000 No.
01:11:21.000 Yeah, the arrest of people do it.
01:11:25.000 You want to show this.
01:11:26.000 Wait, pause.
01:11:27.000 What country did he get wrong?
01:11:29.000 No.
01:11:29.000 No.
01:11:30.000 It was partially banned in Belgium, but now it's back.
01:11:34.000 What details is he getting wrong?
01:11:36.000 And it is interesting, too, that he says you have to wear a burqa because you live in a low-trust society.
01:11:42.000 And we saw Lara Logan went to the Arab Spring.
01:11:45.000 She had blonde hair, waving blonde hair, no burqa.
01:11:49.000 And she was like, hello, we're here in a revolution.
01:11:52.000 And it's so fantastic to see these people fighting for.
01:11:58.000 And the problem was when she was letting her blonde hair fly like that, it was like being here in the West and walking around with a butt plug up your ass, dressed in lingerie and sucking like a plastic dick and going, and it's saying on your chest, come whore.
01:12:15.000 That's the equipment.
01:12:16.000 So guys see that and go, oh, okay, you're a human garbage truck.
01:12:19.000 All right, let's just throw our semen in you.
01:12:23.000 So she was sending a message to them.
01:12:25.000 I know it sounds like I'm saying she asked for it, but in their culture, she did.
01:12:30.000 So wearing a burqa is essentially calling men, saying the men of your religion are rapist savages.
01:12:38.000 That's what you're saying.
01:12:42.000 You want to strip me off my body autonomy.
01:12:44.000 You don't want me to have the right to avoid your body.
01:12:45.000 You don't give a shit what you do with your body.
01:12:46.000 That's your autonomy.
01:12:47.000 You clearly do.
01:12:48.000 You clearly do.
01:12:48.000 You're not triggered by looking at it.
01:12:49.000 I love that.
01:12:50.000 You want to strip me of my body autonomy.
01:12:52.000 You think you have autonomy of your body?
01:12:55.000 Okay.
01:12:55.000 Go home tonight with blonde hair dyed and high-heel shoes and say, Dad, I'm not wearing the burqa anymore.
01:13:02.000 See how that autonomy works out for you.
01:13:05.000 See how that independence fleshes out.
01:13:08.000 Something tells me it's not going to go great.
01:13:12.000 If you think a burqa is a symbol of freedom, try not wearing it.
01:13:18.000 That was the end of the video.
01:13:19.000 Oh, is that it?
01:13:22.000 Well, he's probably going to get fired for doing that.
01:13:24.000 But maybe you should get fired.
01:13:28.000 Maybe you should get in trouble.
01:13:30.000 Maybe you should be brave.