Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS [2020-03-24 - S02E141

00:00:11.000 You come alone?

00:00:12.000 Yeah.

00:00:13.000 Peekaboo's brought the whiskey and booze.

00:00:17.000 Well, I don't drink whiskey for Lent, but I may make an exception.

00:00:20.000 Did you wash your legs?

00:00:22.000 I didn't.

00:00:24.000 You have to wash your legs behind your ears.

00:00:28.000 You have to put your socks in the dryer, even if they're not dirty.

00:00:32.000 I'll just take the whiskey with me and I'll come back.

00:00:34.000 Alright, alright.

00:00:36.000 We're good?

00:00:36.000 Oh.

00:00:39.000 Tonight, let's watch Charlie's Angels.

00:00:42.000 I was thinking the hunt.

00:00:44.000 I was thinking Cats, the butthole cut.

00:00:47.000 But what would you rather watch?

00:00:49.000 Cut buttholes or Charlie's Angels?

00:00:53.000 Come on.

00:00:54.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McKinnis.

00:01:14.000 you Watching old Mets games there?

00:01:18.000 Nostalgia?

00:01:19.000 These are special Budweisers.

00:01:22.000 Okay.

00:01:24.000 So there's a trick to it.

00:01:25.000 These are the Budweiser Nitro Reserve Gold.

00:01:29.000 Extra smooth golden lager.

00:01:33.000 So there's instructions on this.

00:01:34.000 Slip can three times.

00:01:36.000 One, two, three.

00:01:41.000 Open and pour hard, fucking mighty.

00:01:44.000 Yeah.

00:01:45.000 Pour hard fucking givers.

00:01:47.000 Pour it hard.

00:01:49.000 Why'd you choose the Mayor of McMayor McChees glass?

00:01:53.000 There was, it was not a lot of selection.

00:01:56.000 Look at that head.

00:01:57.000 Frothy head.

00:01:58.000 Whoa.

00:01:59.000 My nickname in high school.

00:02:00.000 I haven't seen this much head since before I got married.

00:02:06.000 Alright.

00:02:08.000 This head is an asset, is it?

00:02:10.000 Yeah.

00:02:11.000 Isn't that nice?

00:02:12.000 Yeah, I can't wait to have a calm-drenched mustache.

00:02:18.000 Cheers.

00:02:19.000 To the apocalypse.

00:02:24.000 Pretty good, huh?

00:02:26.000 Yeah, it's a very creamy bud.

00:02:29.000 Should we remove the table for the viewing pleasure?

00:02:31.000 Yes.

00:02:32.000 Okay.

00:02:33.000 So I'm going to go ahead and hand you the beer.

00:02:36.000 Okay.

00:02:37.000 Thank you very much.

00:02:38.000 You are welcome.

00:02:39.000 Civilized.

00:02:40.000 Sorry, table.

00:02:42.000 Let's try to dispose that.

00:02:44.000 And I was looking this up earlier, and I didn't get very far, but I noticed this movie was such a flop that when you search it, wait till you see what comes up before Charlie's Angels.

00:03:00.000 Now, the budget was, we'll have to look up the budget in a sec, but I know it grossed, American Gross was $17 million.

00:03:13.000 And her bitch is, well, look at this, CH, right?

00:03:18.000 It's not even in any of the CHs.

00:03:21.000 I think my mic might be messing the audio here.

00:03:25.000 Sorry about that.

00:03:26.000 Oh, yeah, a little lower would be nice.

00:03:27.000 If you could pinch her lapel.

00:03:30.000 Let's just do the lapel.

00:03:31.000 It won't hit my chip.

00:03:33.000 A little lower would be fine too.

00:03:34.000 Okay, no, it's fine.

00:03:35.000 Oh, it's good.

00:03:36.000 That's good.

00:03:41.000 And here it's one, two, three, four down.

00:03:46.000 Right after Charmed, that corny TV series.

00:03:49.000 It's pretty corny.

00:03:50.000 Which you loved.

00:03:51.000 I did not love it.

00:03:53.000 What's your favorite character on Charmed?

00:03:55.000 Page is a bitch.

00:03:58.000 Anyway, yeah, so Charlie's Angels grossed $17 million, $17.5 or something.

00:04:04.000 And her complaint was that's sexism.

00:04:06.000 People will go to see a superhero movie with a chick in it, like Captain Marvel, but they won't go see a female action movie.

00:04:13.000 What about Charlie's Angels in 2000, which I believe grossed 220 million or something like that?

00:04:13.000 Really?

00:04:21.000 It was banana.

00:04:22.000 214.

00:04:23.000 That's just in America.

00:04:25.000 And you know why Charlie's Angels from 2000 grossed so much more than the new one?

00:04:30.000 Because the new one was woke.

00:04:32.000 Get woke, go broke.

00:04:34.000 The first Charlie's Angels had a sense of humor about it.

00:04:36.000 The one with Lucy Lou and Drew Barrymore, they were funny.

00:04:39.000 This one was like, it's about girl power.

00:04:43.000 Okay, so.

00:04:44.000 Yeah, they were ditzy and fun, and they had energy.

00:04:46.000 They had quirks about them individually.

00:04:48.000 Yeah, these ones are all kick-ass.

00:04:50.000 And they're so kick-ass, they don't have any personality.

00:04:53.000 Like, the black one is a brilliant chemist, but also a badass warrior that could beat the shit out of you.

00:05:01.000 So like if Jason Schwartzman was a nerd, and you just go, well, that's too many characters in one.

00:05:07.000 You can't be everything.

00:05:13.000 Very fucking attractive, though.

00:05:14.000 Even the dyke.

00:05:17.000 Fucking adractive.

00:05:18.000 This is adractive.

00:05:21.000 Just make sure mine's good.

00:05:23.000 Let's adjust our bangs.

00:05:24.000 Again, logos at the beginning of the movie.

00:05:27.000 Sony wants you to know that they did a great job.

00:05:30.000 Oh, I muted it.

00:05:32.000 Is it muted?

00:05:36.000 We just got to be careful with this thing.

00:05:37.000 Actually, yeah, we can't touch that.

00:05:39.000 Can't touch that.

00:05:43.000 That's some chick on a mountaintop.

00:05:46.000 I believe her name is Columbia.

00:05:48.000 I'm led to believe that, too.

00:05:50.000 Right?

00:05:50.000 That must be her.

00:05:52.000 She hangs out in the class.

00:05:53.000 And now we'll see the same logos just written out.

00:05:56.000 That's Jesus in Brazil.

00:05:59.000 They've been depicting a lot of flags on him.

00:06:01.000 Yeah.

00:06:02.000 They project it with a light projector, right?

00:06:06.000 So the first Charlie's Angel started with a crazy action scene at the beginning.

00:06:13.000 Right out of the gate!

00:06:15.000 Doesn't mean they should, right?

00:06:17.000 I think about women fixing cars, driving a taxi, and installing some drywall.

00:06:26.000 Why not?

00:06:27.000 No.

00:06:28.000 Look.

00:06:29.000 Trust me, a girl like you.

00:06:32.000 No one's saying it's impossible for women to do that.

00:06:35.000 We've seen lesbians before.

00:06:37.000 But a woman driving a taxi, they tend to be worse drivers.

00:06:40.000 That's just a fact.

00:06:41.000 It's true.

00:06:42.000 And it's dangerous for them.

00:06:44.000 Why are you so shy?

00:06:45.000 I don't know.

00:06:46.000 You're going to ruin this episode if you're all like sheepish.

00:06:49.000 I'm under.

00:06:50.000 I'm actually a feminist.

00:06:51.000 Try to be more like the Asian from 16 Candles.

00:06:56.000 I want more people to see you to hear a dung and for you to go, oh, I'm falling.

00:07:01.000 Women are so stupid.

00:07:03.000 There you go.

00:07:04.000 They cannot do anything.

00:07:05.000 That's going to make people smash the subscribe.

00:07:07.000 Just give me the woman power now.

00:07:12.000 And if you don't, then you're going to get fired and you'll have to look for a new job selling shit on e-bike.

00:07:19.000 So women, out of all, we've all seen women do sheetrock.

00:07:23.000 1% of them are female.

00:07:25.000 First of all, sheetrock weighs a ton getting it up there.

00:07:28.000 And it's a job that takes years of practice.

00:07:31.000 Women, no.

00:07:33.000 So women don't do drywall.

00:07:34.000 Women don't drive taxis.

00:07:35.000 Well, and repairing a car, yeah, I've seen a few lesbians do it.

00:07:39.000 But it involves things like, here's the thing about being a mechanic.

00:07:42.000 You have cuts in your fingers at all times, right?

00:07:44.000 They fell with oil and dirt.

00:07:45.000 You always had these busted up hands with cuts that are permanently open with dirt in them.

00:07:50.000 Yeah, women love that.

00:07:53.000 Hot take, maybe controversial.

00:07:55.000 I don't think they make great waitresses either.

00:07:57.000 I've been a bus boy plenty of times and they have no spatial awareness and they don't look behind them before they turn around.

00:08:03.000 You know when you turn around, you maybe turn your head first?

00:08:04.000 They just like turn around and start walking like immediately.

00:08:08.000 They've turned around and now they're going forward.

00:08:10.000 And I've had, there's been so many accidents on the restaurant floor due to women not knowing how to walk.

00:08:15.000 You know how I turn around?

00:08:16.000 I go, I'm about to turn around and God help the motherfucker who stands in my way.

00:08:20.000 And then I whip around.

00:08:22.000 That's amazing.

00:08:22.000 Wow.

00:08:22.000 Yeah.

00:08:23.000 My head gets there first like an owl.

00:08:26.000 So anyway, this guy's saying all these totally reasonable things that we all believe, I assume is some villain who's about to get the shit kicked out of him because you're supposed to hate him.

00:08:36.000 If you're going to make a villain that deserves to have the shit kicked out of him, why don't you start with something like, women deserve to be raped?

00:08:42.000 A lot of them like it.

00:08:43.000 You know, they can come from being raped.

00:08:45.000 Now you're like, hey, that guy's a jerk.

00:08:47.000 Kick his ass.

00:08:48.000 Right.

00:08:50.000 I mean, I want all my options available so I can decide for myself.

00:08:54.000 Yeah, it's legal for you to do drywall.

00:08:57.000 Chinese misogynist.

00:08:59.000 It's me.

00:09:01.000 I love it.

00:09:03.000 He loves it.

00:09:05.000 Why is this guy a bad guy?

00:09:07.000 Because he wants to feed her.

00:09:09.000 We know they're not friends on a vacation.

00:09:10.000 It would be on the beach and she'd be a goof and they'd be surfing.

00:09:14.000 If it's exotic, like if it's fancy like this with bodyguards, he's got to die.

00:09:21.000 No, I chose you to join me.

00:09:25.000 I chose to make you notice me.

00:09:26.000 Oh.

00:09:28.000 That is not your choice to be like.

00:09:30.000 That is God's gift to you.

00:09:32.000 Is this supposed to be offensive sexism?

00:09:36.000 But don't you think it's sort of what you do with those gifts?

00:09:39.000 Gross shoes.

00:09:44.000 God gifted me with beautiful feet, but it's that I use them to beat you off.

00:09:48.000 That makes me empower.

00:09:51.000 That's the kind of world I want to live in.

00:09:53.000 She looked like the rabbit from Pet's Life.

00:09:56.000 She really...

00:09:57.000 Me making millions with you by my side.

00:10:01.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

00:10:03.000 Is she supposed to be the stunner of the crew?

00:10:08.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:10:11.000 So she's pissed at him for saying that women aren't good at certain things, and she's about to beat the shit out of him.

00:10:18.000 That is brutal irony because that actress definitely couldn't beat the shit out of that actor.

00:10:24.000 And she's had a stunt man and a martial arts expert work.

00:10:28.000 I'm guessing, right?

00:10:29.000 Oh, yeah, work with her for months and months and months to create this illusion of her about to beat the shit out of him.

00:10:36.000 So she's like, oh, really?

00:10:37.000 Woman can't do anything?

00:10:38.000 Well, watch me pretend to beat the shit out of you after a man helped train me and you go, oh, oh, oh, with every punch.

00:10:45.000 I'm not going to spoil it, but she does her own stunt.

00:10:48.000 You go see, she's going to be on top of a really dangerous, precarious machine that fries through the air.

00:10:53.000 It's a helicopter.

00:10:55.000 So you've seen the beginning to this.

00:10:55.000 Oh.

00:10:57.000 I have.

00:10:58.000 At my job.

00:11:00.000 It's actually considered a huge advantage to be a woman.

00:11:03.000 Yeah, I'm in a made-up female spy cabal.

00:11:07.000 Don't use it as proof.

00:11:10.000 That's like a Mickey Mouse going, oh yeah, you don't think mice can talk?

00:11:13.000 Well, I happen to think different, my friend.

00:11:15.000 I'm a mouse and I can talk, no problem.

00:11:18.000 No, you're not a mouse.

00:11:19.000 You're a drawing.

00:11:20.000 You're 12 frames per second.

00:11:23.000 Pretty much better.

00:11:24.000 24, is it?

00:11:25.000 Okay, probably.

00:11:26.000 And my line of work, invisibility, and low expectations, they come in very handy.

00:11:37.000 I don't like the music right off the boot.

00:11:40.000 Me neither.

00:11:40.000 And I don't like that he has Arab bodyguards and he's Asian.

00:11:52.000 Uh, bodyguards?

00:11:55.000 I don't want to have sex like this.

00:11:58.000 Oh, oh my.

00:12:00.000 I can't move a muscle!

00:12:09.000 See, they're powerful and graceful.

00:12:12.000 They can do upside-down shit.

00:12:17.000 It takes men an additional seven seconds to perceive a woman as a threat compared to a man.

00:12:25.000 So this is Elizabeth Banks, who wrote, produced, and directed this, cramming in everything Like when they write an article, they don't know how to edit.

00:12:35.000 What the fuck is with you?

00:12:38.000 Is your neck stiff or something?

00:12:39.000 Is this chair not for you?

00:12:41.000 I feel like I'm really far back, so I'm just...

00:12:45.000 I can turn like this.

00:12:46.000 In life, but in height.

00:12:49.000 What do you mean?

00:12:49.000 You can turn like this, but aren't I out of frame?

00:12:53.000 I can't see.

00:12:54.000 This is the most comfortable, but...

00:12:56.000 Because otherwise I just have to do this and, like...

00:13:01.000 You look like you're at a job interview, which I guess you are.

00:13:06.000 So I've noticed when women write articles, they'll have to just, it'll be 5,000 words and they'll cram in all their research.

00:13:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:13:11.000 And Elizabeth Banks has clearly done this with this movie where she finds out men take seven seconds longer to recognize if a woman is a danger.

00:13:19.000 Which, by the way, you just admitted that women are different than men.

00:13:22.000 And that's probably based on like them being weaker and more vulnerable.

00:13:27.000 So they have to be like, is this guy a threat?

00:13:29.000 Better different.

00:13:30.000 I think this is their point.

00:13:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:13:32.000 Well, that's not what he, that's kind of what he was saying.

00:13:35.000 Like, he was saying, we do good drywall.

00:13:38.000 That's not magical.

00:13:39.000 You guys can create life.

00:13:41.000 Right.

00:13:41.000 So his argument wasn't necessarily not better different.

00:13:45.000 But yeah, women are weaker, so they have to perceive threats better.

00:13:50.000 If they weren't weaker, this wouldn't be an exciting premise.

00:13:53.000 This wouldn't be a ridiculous fantasy action movie.

00:13:56.000 Like, this wouldn't be less realistic than Harry Potter.

00:14:01.000 I actually have seen this part.

00:14:02.000 And what's amazing about this is that one of the Arab bodyguards comes over and just goes, and shoots her in the head, and she's dead.

00:14:02.000 I was lying.

00:14:09.000 And he goes, that was a close one, boss.

00:14:12.000 And then the credits just screwed up.

00:14:13.000 And then he was like, no, that wasn't.

00:14:15.000 No, she was fencing around.

00:14:17.000 She weighs like 30 pounds.

00:14:19.000 I was just about to throw her off the balcony myself.

00:14:21.000 We had to tie cement brick to her legs so the wind didn't take her off the balcony.

00:14:25.000 Why are you coming to me?

00:14:27.000 Just the decoy stay.

00:14:32.000 Ugh, they couldn't take that again?

00:14:33.000 Are you just the decoy stud?

00:14:39.000 Okay, so I get it.

00:14:40.000 The black girl is Rhonda Rousey.

00:14:42.000 She's the toughest woman in the world.

00:14:44.000 Yes.

00:14:44.000 Gotcha.

00:14:46.000 But also equally as tough as Kristen Stewart.

00:14:53.000 You stole aid money from women and children.

00:14:56.000 This is written by a baby.

00:14:58.000 Aid money from women and children.

00:15:00.000 This is the National Women and Children Fund.

00:15:03.000 Oh, she's so bored.

00:15:05.000 So sick of kicking the shit out of dudes all day.

00:15:10.000 I'm just a white man.

00:15:11.000 I can say.

00:15:12.000 Oh, baby, baby.

00:15:13.000 You slept right.

00:15:15.000 I'm your girlfriend now.

00:15:18.000 Her in the moment.

00:15:22.000 Dialogue really sucks.

00:15:27.000 I'm a white man.

00:15:32.000 Oh, it's a good white man.

00:15:37.000 Doesn't he look like Predator?

00:15:38.000 Or no, Alien?

00:15:41.000 He looks like an albino alien from the movie Alien.

00:15:44.000 You know the ones that come out of your stomach?

00:15:46.000 He looks like a melted version.

00:15:47.000 Oh, that type, yes.

00:15:49.000 Not the full-grown alien, but I can see the baby.

00:15:55.000 He still loves her.

00:15:57.000 How boring.

00:16:05.000 Wait a minute.

00:16:06.000 Is Patrick Stewart a midget?

00:16:09.000 Look at that black chick tower over him.

00:16:11.000 I think he's a human-sized.

00:16:15.000 He looks like a penis.

00:16:17.000 Like an unhealthy one.

00:16:20.000 Who's this other?

00:16:21.000 Who are the other chicks with the big wigs?

00:16:24.000 The nun wigs.

00:16:25.000 I mean, the nunhoods.

00:16:27.000 That's a good look.

00:16:30.000 She's like the fun crazy type.

00:16:33.000 Look how bored they all are.

00:16:35.000 That was fun.

00:16:37.000 So, who did I?

00:16:39.000 You are in the presence of angels.

00:16:42.000 You were in the presence of angels.

00:16:47.000 Who are you?

00:16:49.000 He's just one big wrinkle.

00:16:52.000 As far as how do you cringily stand on the helicopter?

00:17:03.000 How do you make Ryan Rivera look like a good After Effects editor?

00:17:10.000 No, I don't mean you.

00:17:10.000 Oh, like.

00:17:11.000 I look like I blend into this, though.

00:17:14.000 No, I mean that quality was right out of one of our intros.

00:17:18.000 That was like the intro to Loomer.

00:17:21.000 Actually, I put more efforts.

00:17:22.000 The intro to Biggs is.

00:17:24.000 Yeah.

00:17:25.000 I put more effort into the pigs intro than what they put into this helicopter shit.

00:17:28.000 It looks...

00:17:31.000 looks like a magazine article.

00:17:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:17:36.000 Yeah.

00:17:36.000 They do bad Photoshop.

00:17:38.000 It looks like Cinema 4D, like somebody's first try.

00:17:42.000 Look at that.

00:17:42.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:17:44.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:17:48.000 Wait a minute.

00:17:48.000 Once again, women in physics.

00:17:51.000 So she had a grappling thing, whatever.

00:17:53.000 She climbed her stuff.

00:17:54.000 She fell down.

00:17:54.000 That's a vertical line down.

00:17:56.000 But is it hooked to the helicopter?

00:18:00.000 No.

00:18:02.000 She would have gone down another 50 feet below the helicopter and smashed her head on the top of the next building.

00:18:07.000 Or whatever.

00:18:08.000 So if it's grappling equipment, whatever, that goes down, then how do you get onto a helicopter without having it chop your blades?

00:18:08.000 Yes.

00:18:17.000 Exactly.

00:18:18.000 I mean, the blades couldn't get real close.

00:18:20.000 Maybe she rappelled off the wall.

00:18:22.000 This is guy thing.

00:18:23.000 And did a major stunt that we missed out on.

00:18:25.000 Hey, can we see the stunt?

00:18:26.000 And then she would.

00:18:27.000 Where she goes from grappling to the helicopter?

00:18:29.000 She would have to unhook her Swiss seat and then just free Swiss seat?

00:18:35.000 Yeah.

00:18:36.000 It's a Swiss seat.

00:18:38.000 Yeah, I did rappelling in ROTC.

00:18:41.000 The Swiss seat is the one that you do with the ropes.

00:18:43.000 Now that, that might have a different name, like a harness.

00:18:46.000 But the Swiss seat, it's a rope.

00:18:48.000 How did she get the harness off, or the ropes connected to the harness, and then get onto a helicopter?

00:18:54.000 That quick.

00:18:55.000 That stunt would be the kind of a stunt in a movie like, you know when they have movies where there's like a car who goes like, no!

00:19:01.000 And then it smashes in the helicopter in midair?

00:19:04.000 That's a conclusion.

00:19:05.000 It goes like from one parking garage, over the road, into the other parking garage, and you're like, that's the biggest stunt I've ever seen.

00:19:14.000 This is what she just did.

00:19:15.000 And we didn't get to see it.

00:19:16.000 And we didn't get to see it.

00:19:17.000 It just was like, you know how it is?

00:19:19.000 When you fall off a balcony and you land on a, perfectly on the edge of a helicopter?

00:19:24.000 And you didn't do this to the building?

00:19:27.000 And then your hair is slightly tussled like it's on a mildly windy day in Seattle.

00:19:32.000 Meanwhile, you're under fucking helicopter blades.

00:19:36.000 Wow, that is a low point.

00:19:40.000 Girls!

00:19:42.000 Look, they can be ballerinas or guitarists or all right.

00:19:48.000 Stop.

00:19:48.000 This is all stop.

00:19:49.000 stock footage.

00:19:50.000 This is bought from like Getty Images.

00:19:53.000 I think I saw a Shuttershock watermark.

00:19:56.000 They ran out of money at the end.

00:19:58.000 They go, well, we're almost done.

00:19:59.000 We just need the 80 bucks for the shutter shock to remove that watermark.

00:20:03.000 Credit to Phil's drones on YouTube on the bottom right.

00:20:06.000 Can't you just blow it up so the shutter shock watermark is pushed out?

00:20:10.000 I guess, but it's going to look totally.

00:20:12.000 Look at the lighting.

00:20:13.000 It's all different.

00:20:14.000 You could send someone around.

00:20:17.000 Or they could have all been wearing red.

00:20:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:20:21.000 Or a vignette.

00:20:22.000 Like a color that unifies all of them.

00:20:25.000 I've dealt with different footage before.

00:20:26.000 You have to make it look uniform.

00:20:28.000 I should have had Ryan the retard on this movie to put him away.

00:20:32.000 Look at the oh, it's in the wrap.

00:20:33.000 You can beat yourself.

00:20:34.000 You can do drive wall.

00:20:35.000 You can fucking use a glass too and lift weights and surf.

00:20:39.000 I'm trying to see.

00:20:42.000 You can be in a kayak for fuck's sakes.

00:20:44.000 I guess the white balance and the fucking.

00:20:45.000 You can ride a bike in Paris.

00:20:47.000 Did girls even know that?

00:20:49.000 Look at that logo, though.

00:20:52.000 This is what else I noticed.

00:20:54.000 Hamburg.

00:20:55.000 Just watching the preview for this movie, you'll see their logo just everywhere.

00:21:01.000 Uh-oh.

00:21:02.000 The Rubik's Cube.

00:21:03.000 Um, by the way, a scam a lot of people do to save money is, um...

00:21:17.000 You're supposed to do a hard pour.

00:21:18.000 I did.

00:21:19.000 What were you just doing?

00:21:21.000 I just filled another one.

00:21:22.000 Oh, it was a nitro.

00:21:24.000 No, it was in a nitro.

00:21:25.000 Oh, she stole one of my beers.

00:21:27.000 Is that okay?

00:21:28.000 I mean, I gave you a beer.

00:21:29.000 Wait, you poured civilian beer into nitro beer?

00:21:32.000 No, I finished the nitro beer, then poured the I topped myself off.

00:21:36.000 Well, topping yourself off in my mouth.

00:21:37.000 Would be that there's beer in there.

00:21:39.000 No, but what they do is Europe has all these great grants.

00:21:39.000 Okay, gotcha.

00:21:42.000 Canada does it too, where if you spend a million on a movie, they'll put in a million.

00:21:46.000 So now you have a $2 million movie.

00:21:51.000 They double you down.

00:21:52.000 They match you.

00:21:53.000 So that's why it's in Paris.

00:21:54.000 They give you another million to spend.

00:21:56.000 So now you spent $2 million, even though a million was sort of a gift.

00:21:58.000 Yeah, that has to be spent there.

00:22:00.000 Gotcha.

00:22:01.000 So you spend $25 million on a movie, you got a $50 million movie.

00:22:01.000 Gotcha.

00:22:04.000 But the way to take advantage of it is to be all over Europe.

00:22:04.000 Damn.

00:22:08.000 So they'll be in Hamburg.

00:22:09.000 So you get matched, matched, matched, matched.

00:22:11.000 Like that Jason, is his name, Jason Schwartzman, my dream boat guy who's balding, who does the fighting?

00:22:16.000 Jason Statham.

00:22:18.000 Statham.

00:22:19.000 Jason Statham.

00:22:20.000 Jason Statham.

00:22:21.000 So when he's the transporter, it's a perfect movie for a budget because he's driving through every country in Europe and he gets all the grants from all of them.

00:22:29.000 They only match your original amount.

00:22:31.000 If you put in 10 million, they'll put in 10 million.

00:22:34.000 Wow.

00:22:35.000 That's crazy.

00:22:35.000 But there's probably a cap on it, though.

00:22:37.000 So the way you get the advantages.

00:22:39.000 They're not going to be in Hamburg for long, I guarantee.

00:22:43.000 You were late.

00:22:44.000 Mr. Flamme is waiting.

00:22:46.000 Oh, I wasn't the meeting seven.

00:22:47.000 I'm just a nerd.

00:22:48.000 I'm just a gorgeous.

00:22:49.000 I'm just a nine nerd.

00:22:51.000 How many Americans are in Hamburg right now?

00:22:54.000 How are your bangs?

00:22:55.000 Okay.

00:22:56.000 I might put the hair back.

00:22:58.000 Let me guess.

00:22:59.000 White male douche.

00:23:02.000 I said, Mr. Brock, have you ever heard of Humphrey Davy?

00:23:08.000 I don't like this guy's face at all.

00:23:09.000 Have you ever heard of Joseph Swan?

00:23:11.000 Alexander Ludian?

00:23:12.000 No clue.

00:23:14.000 So I say, okay.

00:23:15.000 What about Thomas Edison?

00:23:19.000 Who hasn't?

00:23:19.000 Of course.

00:23:21.000 He invented the light bulb, right?

00:23:22.000 But guess what?

00:23:23.000 So did those other three guys.

00:23:25.000 Poor Edison.

00:23:26.000 But Edison was first to market.

00:23:29.000 Do you see my point?

00:23:32.000 Yeah, I'm a white male.

00:23:33.000 You're supposed to hate will.

00:23:37.000 But we have to be posted.

00:23:40.000 And that's what I told Mr. Block and the menu.

00:23:44.000 This guy's evil.

00:23:44.000 Like, he's so douchey, he's evil.

00:23:47.000 Yeah.

00:23:48.000 And he wants progress too fast without enough government regulations.

00:23:53.000 And he's just like the oil companies.

00:23:56.000 They don't care about the environment.

00:23:57.000 They just care about energy and being first and being number one.

00:24:01.000 And they're all about greed.

00:24:02.000 The bottom line.

00:24:03.000 That's the same thing with the hustlers.

00:24:05.000 Those guys, we're against greed, and those guys are greedy.

00:24:10.000 It's the same resentment.

00:24:12.000 But greed, if you're benefiting society, is an asset.

00:24:16.000 If you're against greed in a bad way, this should be about MS-13 or taking violently Aryan Brotherhood or the Mongols or some fucking gang, pagans.

00:24:27.000 Not that I'm disrespecting any of those gangs.

00:24:29.000 I think they're wonderful.

00:24:30.000 And I would never do a movie criticizing them.

00:24:33.000 I'm just saying, if you're looking for greed that is attached to sin, wouldn't crime be a better thing?

00:24:39.000 Like that guy before, by the way, the Asian dude, no offense.

00:24:43.000 He was robbing a charity that had women and children in it.

00:24:46.000 And what did he get?

00:24:48.000 She went like that to his face.

00:24:50.000 And then they jumped off his balcony.

00:24:52.000 Maybe he went to jail?

00:24:54.000 Eventually, I guess that's not in the movie, though.

00:24:57.000 So all we saw was the guy get some curtains, make him slap himself.

00:25:00.000 That's a good question, though.

00:25:00.000 Like, where in the legal system does this Charlie's Angels branch, is this part of the government?

00:25:06.000 Are they like a rogue?

00:25:07.000 I think they just present a Finnish case to the DA, and the DA is like, thanks for doing my work.

00:25:12.000 You got this.

00:25:13.000 Which is a good case against government, by the way.

00:25:15.000 It's like this is an independent kind of thing.

00:25:17.000 This pro-government movie is accidentally pro-privatization.

00:25:20.000 I love how this conversation went.

00:25:22.000 Well, technically, I haven't said anything.

00:25:25.000 And don't listen to women.

00:25:32.000 Okay, one other thing I have to say.

00:25:34.000 I bet she's Hispanic somehow.

00:25:35.000 And the other girl...

00:25:42.000 And the other girl is supposed to be black.

00:25:43.000 But have you noticed that in an effort to show you the whole spectrum of...

00:25:52.000 Yeah.

00:25:52.000 Like she eats out girls now that she's at the hottest point of her life.

00:25:55.000 Let's see her do it when she's 45.

00:25:57.000 But anyway, they chose the whitest looking and the most feminine.

00:26:02.000 So the lesbian looks the least lesbian you've ever seen.

00:26:05.000 Yeah, and I've never seen a black chick that looks like that.

00:26:07.000 I've never seen a black chick that looks like that.

00:26:10.000 And this Hispanic chick, she'd have to show you her passport for you to know she's Hispanic.

00:26:14.000 She looks like an Indian.

00:26:15.000 She was Jasmine in Aladdin.

00:26:17.000 Oh, really?

00:26:18.000 Yeah.

00:26:19.000 She's hot.

00:26:20.000 So I think right now there's a possibility for the hormones.

00:26:24.000 I guess that is Latina, huh?

00:26:25.000 And we both know how dangerous that could be.

00:26:31.000 You know who Neil, the second engineer?

00:26:33.000 He is actually still in hospital after a boring seizure.

00:26:36.000 And he was only partially exploited.

00:26:42.000 Idiots need to die.

00:26:43.000 ...is root access and some time to permanently fix the flaw in the blockchain so that it will stay safe.

00:26:49.000 Can I agree with that?

00:26:50.000 Gina?

00:26:52.000 I agree with you.

00:26:53.000 Well, she's not being assertive.

00:26:58.000 We just simply disagree with you.

00:27:00.000 Ask Mr. Brockard my report because I really do think I want to be crystal clear that a 21-year-old has invented a new form of energy.

00:27:12.000 So now we have solar, wind power, coal, and a Rubik's Cube that she invented that emanates sound.

00:27:24.000 And that's what we're doing.

00:27:25.000 Oh, that's right.

00:27:26.000 And you are telling us you're wrong.

00:27:28.000 Nothing.

00:27:29.000 I hate men.

00:27:33.000 Look how patronizing they are.

00:27:34.000 You're much too smart to keep pushing this forward, aren't you?

00:27:43.000 Good.

00:27:43.000 So what?

00:27:44.000 Get out of my office.

00:27:45.000 What was that?

00:27:50.000 Is he being supportive?

00:27:52.000 No, he's patronizing her.

00:27:53.000 He's like, it's like a mockery.

00:27:55.000 It's like a child.

00:27:57.000 It's like a...

00:27:59.000 The last kiss, the kiss of dad.

00:28:00.000 He's like, I'm going to give you the last.

00:28:02.000 I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.

00:28:04.000 Stop pushing this, or it'll be very bad.

00:28:06.000 But the hand touch?

00:28:07.000 The hand touch was like a warning, like, look, sweetheart.

00:28:10.000 And then just like, oh, so it's either I get fired and possibly killed, or I let this Rubik's Cube go out and give coronavirus to everyone who won't.

00:28:24.000 The latter.

00:28:25.000 That's the safe one.

00:28:26.000 I knew who Humphrey Davy was.

00:28:29.000 That actress had no idea who Humphrey Davey was.

00:28:33.000 Who is that for Davey?

00:28:34.000 I don't know.

00:28:35.000 You dropped something.

00:28:36.000 Oh, no, that's not mine.

00:28:37.000 Well, I don't litter, so it must be yours.

00:28:41.000 Is that not just as patronizing as what he did?

00:28:45.000 Yeah.

00:28:46.000 -I think they're saying women are...

00:28:46.000 She's holding her arm.

00:28:50.000 No, she's the one who hooked her up with this card.

00:28:53.000 I think this is the Charlie's Angels card.

00:28:57.000 Oh!

00:28:58.000 But she just grabbed her arm and the other guy put it on.

00:29:01.000 She's actually good.

00:29:02.000 Yes.

00:29:03.000 Oh.

00:29:03.000 Ew.

00:29:05.000 Who's this?

00:29:06.000 I hate his little shirt.

00:29:07.000 That's Patrick Stewart in like a Lululemon shirt.

00:29:10.000 A human.

00:29:11.000 A human.

00:29:11.000 Ew.

00:29:12.000 He looks like a caliographer.

00:29:14.000 All right, ladies, let's dance.

00:29:17.000 And stretch and work and stretch and one, two, three, and one, two, three.

00:29:22.000 He just needs a little fucking cloth headband and some fingerless ill.

00:29:28.000 Hello.

00:29:33.000 You ruined.

00:29:34.000 You cost someone their life savings, Elizabeth Banks.

00:29:40.000 I hope that's not only your last name, but a nickname as well.

00:29:44.000 Oh, look, celebrities are all on the call.

00:29:49.000 Multiculturalism.

00:29:51.000 Aluku.

00:29:52.000 Bonjour.

00:29:55.000 Avidazen.

00:30:00.000 So she directed this?

00:30:02.000 And wrote it?

00:30:04.000 Why is everyone standing in their Skype?

00:30:07.000 Just like Hustlers, she wrote herself into one of the most important parts of the movie.

00:30:12.000 Look, look, look!

00:30:15.000 This is a thing that drives me nuts in movies.

00:30:18.000 Shitty Photoshop.

00:30:19.000 Oh, look, it's Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz.

00:30:22.000 From the one that made...

00:30:25.000 From the one that made, what was it, $214 million?

00:30:29.000 You're right.

00:30:30.000 That is them.

00:30:31.000 But the Photoshop is always so shit.

00:30:33.000 Look at his overlit face.

00:30:35.000 And you can see where they've cut out his face.

00:30:38.000 It almost looks like he has clown makeup on.

00:30:40.000 You can see where they cut out his face and put his face there.

00:30:46.000 Look how bad that is!

00:30:47.000 That is pretty bad.

00:30:48.000 That is a shitty fucking podcast mural.

00:30:51.000 That looks like a fan of Compound Media's work.

00:30:54.000 Totally.

00:30:55.000 That's Anthony Coumia Show email.

00:30:59.000 They make a calendar.

00:31:00.000 This is on Instagram.

00:31:01.000 This is, what's his name?

00:31:04.000 Mr. Dunlevy.

00:31:06.000 Mr. Tranasium or something?

00:31:08.000 Yes.

00:31:09.000 Oh, fuck.

00:31:11.000 It's not Doug Nelson.

00:31:13.000 Mr. Naslin.

00:31:14.000 Tirelli picks.

00:31:16.000 Yeah, maybe there's another one too, though.

00:31:18.000 Mr. Nasling.

00:31:20.000 Nails in.

00:31:21.000 Doug Nelson.

00:31:21.000 None of us.

00:31:22.000 I'm very touched.

00:31:28.000 Not all white men are evil.

00:31:33.000 At least that's not the way it seems.

00:31:36.000 They don't seem evil at first.

00:31:40.000 Have you seen this movie?

00:31:47.000 I wear women's sweatshirts and have women's breasts.

00:31:53.000 I call them my avocados.

00:31:58.000 California.

00:32:00.000 I would like Whoopi Goldberg to be in the next Charlie's scene.

00:32:04.000 And here she is, balled with a goatee, playing this man here.

00:32:14.000 Imagine anybody getting choked up at that scene.

00:32:16.000 Do you think there's one human being in the world that did?

00:32:19.000 Like even like some loser 14-year-old girl?

00:32:21.000 When I watched Black Panther in the theater and he was dying, I was just like, what the fuck is this movie?

00:32:27.000 And I brought my kids.

00:32:28.000 That's why I went.

00:32:29.000 But Two girls behind me were crying.

00:32:32.000 Like, oh, two, they were there together.

00:32:40.000 I can't fathom it.

00:32:41.000 They're there together.

00:32:42.000 So, one of them was crying, and then, you know, like when one person cries, usually the other person is just going, Are you serious?

00:32:49.000 But for two girls to just be going, I couldn't imagine.

00:32:55.000 So, yes, I bet you there is a couple, maybe out of the world, right?

00:33:00.000 Out of the, how many people have seen this movie, like 200,000?

00:33:05.000 Out of the 200,000 people have seen this movie, maybe a million.

00:33:08.000 And it only grows 17 million?

00:33:11.000 But by now, it may be a million.

00:33:13.000 That means a million people spent $17.

00:33:16.000 No.

00:33:16.000 Yeah, maybe not.

00:33:17.000 But anyway, because we have video and all this other shit.

00:33:20.000 But I would say maybe seven people cried.

00:33:23.000 That's not one straight man.

00:33:25.000 I don't want to know that.

00:33:26.000 That's bad.

00:33:27.000 But I asked.

00:33:27.000 I shouldn't have asked.

00:33:28.000 For me, as Charlie said, time to make an exit stage last year.

00:33:33.000 I almost cried during the lame party, by the way.

00:33:36.000 It's your final retirement, and people can only be there by conference call phone and Skype.

00:33:42.000 That seems a lot.

00:33:43.000 There's no spread.

00:33:45.000 Yeah, can I get some cheese?

00:33:46.000 This woman writer has.

00:33:48.000 Can I have one.

00:33:49.000 We have a nicer spread.

00:33:53.000 There's not one beverage in anybody's hand.

00:33:57.000 Yay!

00:33:58.000 For a mediocre conference call.

00:34:01.000 Thank you, Charlie.

00:34:02.000 Thank you, Charlie.

00:34:07.000 You deserve it.

00:34:07.000 Oh, wait, that's Charlie and he's Bosley.

00:34:09.000 He's drinks.

00:34:10.000 Oh, that's right.

00:34:11.000 It's the day drinking.

00:34:12.000 That's what I like the most.

00:34:14.000 Oh, that's fun.

00:34:17.000 Wait, who's Bosley?

00:34:19.000 Yeah, he's Bosley.

00:34:20.000 So he's the Fonz's dad in the season.

00:34:22.000 He obviously doesn't use Bosley.

00:34:24.000 And then the little camcorder, that little box they haven't updated since the 70s.

00:34:29.000 Yeah, they've never seen Charlie, I guess.

00:34:31.000 I think it's very vile.

00:34:33.000 To rock around as rather than.

00:34:34.000 Oh, round?

00:34:36.000 That's it.

00:34:36.000 Thank you.

00:34:37.000 He's coming.

00:34:37.000 Please move.

00:34:39.000 Are we ready?

00:34:40.000 Thank you.

00:34:44.000 Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

00:34:48.000 That's the only humor in the entire movie, by the way.

00:34:55.000 Alexander Brock.

00:34:58.000 Excellent job, white male who's probably also evil.

00:35:04.000 Where do I know him from?

00:35:06.000 That main guy?

00:35:07.000 Yeah, the guy.

00:35:08.000 He's in a lot of stuff.

00:35:09.000 He's in a lot of stuff.

00:35:10.000 I think he's always a douche.

00:35:12.000 commercial yes But we are far from powerless.

00:35:23.000 He really reminds me of the guy that lied about 9-11.

00:35:26.000 We are using a kid's toy.

00:35:31.000 Oh, did she take, did he take her invention?

00:35:34.000 No, it's his invention, but she was one of the top engineers working on it.

00:35:38.000 Oh.

00:35:39.000 Which maybe that's why it's such a dangerous thing.

00:35:43.000 It has too many kinks.

00:35:45.000 Maybe she's the one who fucked it up.

00:35:46.000 She wouldn't fuck it up.

00:35:49.000 That's why she's freaking out.

00:35:51.000 We need to do this.

00:35:53.000 Shouldn't we go through the proper chicken?

00:35:55.000 Or may not have lied on my resume.

00:35:57.000 No, I trust all my workers.

00:35:58.000 Actually, a 21-year-old ditz who's still in a sorority.

00:36:03.000 I want to thank the chick here who ran all the tests and promises me that she was up all night verifying everything.

00:36:12.000 Because in this company, we've never hired somebody that had fucked us over, so why start checking now?

00:36:19.000 We were nervous having a 20-year-old with no credentials, but she says she ran all the tests, so we're safe.

00:36:28.000 Although, in the spirit of the world, she's like, oh, fuck.

00:36:30.000 really she was like she was like I can be manufactured in pastel colors for the ladies can What an evil prick.

00:36:43.000 Well, this is it.

00:36:48.000 What is it?

00:36:51.000 Hey, Elizabeth.

00:36:52.000 How do you bang?

00:36:53.000 Is this Wakanda?

00:36:53.000 How do you use it?

00:36:55.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:36:57.000 You think that there's a thing that's just like a little thing that can power a building?

00:37:04.000 I think that's a symbolism.

00:37:06.000 You could be more naive.

00:37:07.000 I think the simplicity of the world, it's a microcosm of how they see the world.

00:37:12.000 There's all these complex systems that people have built and worked on.

00:37:15.000 There's little tiny jobs for each thing.

00:37:18.000 It's like nuclear power.

00:37:19.000 If there was a thing that was that small that could power an entire building, you better stand the fuck away from it.

00:37:25.000 You better be in 900-foot thick walls of the world.

00:37:25.000 You don't hold it.

00:37:29.000 Not past colors like neon stay the fuck away.

00:37:34.000 He's holding it in his hand.

00:37:36.000 It's just a skeleton.

00:37:37.000 This incredible...

00:37:40.000 Yeah.

00:37:42.000 sustainably.

00:37:45.000 Listo is the future.

00:37:48.000 I am holding the future in my hands, finally.

00:37:51.000 My hands are burning.

00:37:52.000 It's not slightly radioactive.

00:37:55.000 It doesn't make a world.

00:37:56.000 Okay, we get it, Lizzie Banks.

00:37:57.000 We see the light bulb in every shot.

00:38:01.000 This is dangerous.

00:38:04.000 Well, look, we're in a new place.

00:38:05.000 Paris.

00:38:08.000 Look, I got guys fighting on my face.

00:38:11.000 I had Paris on my face before.

00:38:13.000 That woman is a freak.

00:38:14.000 I think she's seven feet tall.

00:38:17.000 Look at her tower over everyone in the Oh wow, yeah, yeah.

00:38:21.000 Is it a good light room with the light?

00:38:23.000 Yes, but if you want to get a plant, I'm just going to clear it.

00:38:26.000 Let me guess, this guy isn't a bad guy.

00:38:29.000 I'm not going to mention why.

00:38:30.000 He's got a heart of gold.

00:38:32.000 And a shirt of gold.

00:38:33.000 A heart of chocolate.

00:38:38.000 And white hearts are like when you see a shit in the winter, dog shit, and it's got that powder to it.

00:38:44.000 Yes.

00:38:45.000 OK.

00:38:46.000 You're the former MI6 ninja.

00:38:50.000 Is it June?

00:38:51.000 Jane.

00:38:52.000 Oh, Jane.

00:38:53.000 Jane, not the mom.

00:38:55.000 Sabrina?

00:38:56.000 Sabina.

00:38:57.000 Brutal acting.

00:38:58.000 Oh, are you Italian?

00:39:00.000 No.

00:39:01.000 Are you Italian?

00:39:02.000 I'm a robot.

00:39:04.000 Hamburg, interestingly, not where hamburgers were invented.

00:39:08.000 That was in Frankfurt, where Frankburgers were not invented.

00:39:11.000 It was just the channel.

00:39:12.000 I'm sorry.

00:39:12.000 I already don't know.

00:39:13.000 I'm really sorry.

00:39:13.000 I'm vegetarian.

00:39:14.000 Thank you very much.

00:39:16.000 Again, Elizabeth Banks is cramming in every or you know what that could have also been?

00:39:22.000 It could have also been these punch-up guys.

00:39:24.000 like Pat and Oswalt used to do that.

00:39:26.000 They get paid like 500 bucks just to go through a script with a pen and write in like, hamburgers weren't invented in hamburgers.

00:39:34.000 He's a little more popped.

00:39:35.000 Yeah, just give it some zing.

00:39:36.000 Yeah.

00:39:37.000 Yeah, it is fucking low on zing.

00:39:40.000 I'll give them that.

00:39:40.000 I don't believe it was time to go.

00:39:42.000 They should have doubled the budget on that wing of the Enterprise.

00:39:46.000 Who's the client?

00:39:48.000 Phone.

00:39:53.000 What's that face she just made when she's walking away?

00:39:57.000 You know what's funny is like, there's been iconic scenes like Rocky Ringside scenes like that.

00:40:02.000 But what Elizabeth Banks saw is like, we just need a scene next to a boxing ring and that'll make it a great scene.

00:40:08.000 Yeah, just get her standing in a ring.

00:40:10.000 It's a good canvas for a beautiful painting, but she just said, here's a canvas.

00:40:16.000 Here's a cannabis?

00:40:17.000 A canvas.

00:40:19.000 Here's a boxing area.

00:40:20.000 Isn't this cool?

00:40:23.000 Look at that background actor.

00:40:25.000 Did you see that?

00:40:25.000 Could you rewind that?

00:40:27.000 I missed that.

00:40:28.000 It's the most overacting background.

00:40:30.000 What do they call them?

00:40:32.000 Extras.

00:40:33.000 It's one of the most.

00:40:34.000 The most extra, extra.

00:40:35.000 He's in a BBF.

00:40:36.000 Extra, extra.

00:40:37.000 Act all about it.

00:40:38.000 He's coming here.

00:40:39.000 He's got his face in his hand like this.

00:40:43.000 He looks like he's doing the Christopher Lowell impression that Chris Katan did.

00:40:46.000 Look.

00:40:51.000 Maybe someone with curtains slapped his hand to his face.

00:40:54.000 He was explaining what happened in hamburger.

00:40:56.000 So that chick right there, she walked in.

00:40:57.000 So this Asian guy was there and he was taking funds from children.

00:41:02.000 It was so cool.

00:41:02.000 She didn't even say, why are you hitting yourself?

00:41:04.000 Everyone is perfectly bilingual.

00:41:10.000 COS?

00:41:11.000 I have lesbians no idea what that means, but you are good up here.

00:41:16.000 I would say the post is clear.

00:41:19.000 She's wearing some cookie clothes.

00:41:21.000 She's just a regular gal that lesbian.

00:41:25.000 She's the wild one.

00:41:26.000 Well, it takes a lot to come forward.

00:41:29.000 And I appreciate your courage.

00:41:32.000 You sure you want to take this risk?

00:41:34.000 Yeah.

00:41:37.000 Okay, we can help you.

00:41:39.000 Are you sure you want to do this risk?

00:41:46.000 Are you sure you want to do this risk?

00:41:48.000 Are you sure you want to make this risk together?

00:41:52.000 Are they making a board game and it happens to be risky?

00:41:54.000 I appreciate your courage.

00:41:56.000 You sure you want to this risk?

00:42:03.000 It's just...

00:42:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:42:05.000 Isn't he a sage like a god on earth basically?

00:42:08.000 Yeah, he's just like heaven.

00:42:10.000 I haven't noticed, but there's something different about him than the other guys that are douches.

00:42:14.000 Well, it takes a lot to come forward.

00:42:17.000 And I appreciate your courage.

00:42:20.000 You slowly won through this risk.

00:42:22.000 Maybe he says take.

00:42:25.000 Are you sure you want to take this?

00:42:26.000 It's almost like it's like when that black guy said on Fox, why does Tucker Carson even work here?

00:42:38.000 Took Carson?

00:42:39.000 Who's Tucker Carson?

00:42:40.000 No, he didn't even make it to the end.

00:42:41.000 Why does Tucker Carson even work here?

00:42:43.000 So it's like L-S-O-N was all.

00:42:46.000 Why did Tucker Carson even work here?

00:42:50.000 What if Tucker Carson even work here?

00:42:52.000 It's almost like an automatopoeia.

00:42:54.000 Oh my dad.

00:42:55.000 Those books are going to fall.

00:42:59.000 Stop banking them.

00:43:00.000 Hey, you and the typewriter, we have too many books already.

00:43:03.000 Stop.

00:43:05.000 I'm writing the straw on the camel's back.

00:43:10.000 She knows what language he speaks.

00:43:12.000 That's racist that she assumed what race he was, by the way.

00:43:19.000 What's he typing?

00:43:21.000 I'm here at a cafe having trouble figuring out how to text.

00:43:26.000 Charlie's angels are here too.

00:43:27.000 Shall I kill them?

00:43:29.000 I'm here writing a better script than Elizabeth Banks.

00:43:33.000 You need to go to the lady's room.

00:43:37.000 What?

00:43:41.000 Oh, shit.

00:43:42.000 Wait a minute.

00:43:43.000 Couldn't she just be undercover in the cafe?

00:43:47.000 And not wearing five different types of animal print on a balcony nine floors away?

00:43:55.000 There are five girls here?

00:43:56.000 What the fuck?

00:43:58.000 What's a hot chick in this cafe?

00:44:02.000 They're working together, clearly.

00:44:09.000 That's just so intense.

00:44:10.000 Moment of climax.

00:44:11.000 He had a table on his hip?

00:44:13.000 Yeah.

00:44:15.000 Hey, by the way, I'll keep you safe.

00:44:17.000 I'll be standing on top of a building an hour away.

00:44:21.000 I think I'm better in a better position to protect her.

00:44:41.000 And just an average woman.

00:44:43.000 Oh, what?

00:44:44.000 That's my gun.

00:44:47.000 Oh, gun control!

00:44:49.000 That was the gun control thing that Elizabeth Banks put in.

00:44:52.000 Where they want them to be?

00:44:55.000 Yes, you have to have that when you're a woman that can't use a gun and hold on to it for a while.

00:44:59.000 You kind of need it.

00:45:00.000 Whoops.

00:45:01.000 And when you lose it, and you inevitably will lose the gun, they can't shoot you with it.

00:45:11.000 So what did he just give up on kicking her ass?

00:45:15.000 By the way, this woman has no personality, this black chick.

00:45:17.000 Hello, I'm Jake.

00:45:18.000 Nice to meet you.

00:45:19.000 In fact, if this was a robot movie, I'd go.

00:45:22.000 She's a pretty cool robot.

00:45:25.000 She's pretty good.

00:45:26.000 She's a really good actress.

00:45:27.000 She's overdoing the whole robot thing, but I get it.

00:45:30.000 No!

00:45:30.000 She's doing a really good robot.

00:45:32.000 Yeah, she is.

00:45:33.000 Wow.

00:45:34.000 This is a good Terminator movie.

00:45:38.000 Come on, ladies, I'm counting on you to solve this problem for me.

00:45:43.000 I want to write an article for BuzzFeed how it's racist that they got the black guy to drive and then the black chick to do all the dangerous shooting.

00:45:51.000 I'm sure it exists.

00:45:55.000 Who is this chick?

00:45:56.000 Why?

00:45:57.000 Who are you?

00:45:57.000 Who is he?

00:45:58.000 Why is he shooting us?

00:45:59.000 Keep it steady.

00:46:01.000 Don't worry.

00:46:01.000 I'm gonna die.

00:46:02.000 Oh no, he's dead.

00:46:09.000 What in reality, if that girl was a real genuine nerd who worked like in engineering?

00:46:15.000 She'd just be screaming and puking right now.

00:46:20.000 I'm a computer.

00:46:21.000 computer check maybe she jumped off another balcony and landed on a motorcycle that her christen seward yeah just appears on things fucking you know me defying reality to plop onto a machine of some sort he has that in his car for what purpose in in case of this happens yeah he bought it and then his friends were like what

00:46:48.000 What the fuck did you put up with the Rubik's Cube company?

00:46:52.000 Like, this bitch is getting in our way.

00:46:54.000 And the secretary with the card must be a good girl.

00:47:00.000 My socks, by the way.

00:47:01.000 That's pretty cool.

00:47:02.000 I didn't see the socks.

00:47:03.000 They were like striped fun.

00:47:07.000 They were striped fun.

00:47:08.000 Striped fun.

00:47:10.000 The bam.

00:47:11.000 Hold on, I'll swing around outside and blow his head off.

00:47:14.000 Look how calm the robot is.

00:47:16.000 She's a robot.

00:47:18.000 Panic isn't in her function.

00:47:24.000 Oh, no.

00:47:28.000 Look out!

00:47:30.000 That's the one weakness they have, is love.

00:47:33.000 Yes.

00:47:35.000 Oh, he's the new Bosley.

00:47:37.000 He's the new Patrick Stewart.

00:47:39.000 Oh, that's why this is all happening.

00:47:43.000 Uh-oh.

00:47:43.000 That nerd, that nerd's having a rough first hand job.

00:47:48.000 Let me check.

00:47:49.000 Yep, definitely dead.

00:47:50.000 No need to stick around.

00:47:56.000 You know what she does here?

00:47:57.000 The black girl swims over to the white nerd and queaks in her mouth to give her air.

00:48:02.000 And her vagina is so cavernous, it's actually enough air for an hour and a half.

00:48:08.000 She just puts her head in it and just breathes through her vagina.

00:48:13.000 Oh, oh, it smells quite strong in here, but it's weird.

00:48:19.000 It smells like life.

00:48:25.000 He's fine.

00:48:26.000 They're both fine, by the way, from that.

00:48:29.000 Not too badass to wear a helmet, though.

00:48:31.000 I'm not giving you insurance for your motorcycle.

00:48:32.000 I've seen motorcycle accidents.

00:48:34.000 They're not painful.

00:48:35.000 Just shoot him.

00:48:37.000 You're a super spy.

00:48:38.000 Looks like your friends...

00:48:44.000 Whoa!

00:48:49.000 Their car or his own car?

00:48:51.000 I think his own, like a self-control.

00:48:52.000 Must be his own, right?

00:48:54.000 Let me just open this bent door.

00:48:56.000 *Gasp*

00:49:05.000 We should have tried to hold our breath that whole time.

00:49:09.000 I'm gonna try it.

00:49:12.000 I don't know, folks, we should warn you.

00:49:15.000 This is not gonna be very interesting to you.

00:49:19.000 I wonder if adrenaline helps you hold your breath.

00:49:21.000 Feel free to scroll forward.

00:49:23.000 Oh, this seems impossible.

00:49:24.000 I know.

00:49:27.000 That's the point.

00:49:29.000 Alright, so starting.

00:49:33.000 She shouldn't have loved!

00:49:35.000 They have too much love!

00:49:37.000 *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* hey hahaha yeah yeah

00:50:06.000 ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh get it out

00:50:36.000 Jane?

00:50:37.000 Hey, Jane?

00:50:39.000 Hey, it's Jane, get out!

00:50:43.000 Hey!

00:50:44.000 Stop moving!

00:50:44.000 Hey!

00:50:46.000 Ah!

00:50:49.000 Ah!

00:50:50.000 Oh!

00:50:51.000 Oh!

00:50:54.000 Wow, pretty good from a vapor.

00:50:58.000 Plus, I'm not sure I can count your meditation shit when she's running around opening car doors.

00:51:06.000 Breathe.

00:51:10.000 I'd even breathe out a little bit.

00:51:12.000 It helps to let a little bit of air go.

00:51:14.000 Well, I did cheat in one because when she saw Bozzy Dead, she went boonk.

00:51:19.000 So I did have oop.

00:51:21.000 Yes.

00:51:21.000 Yeah.

00:51:22.000 I don't even feel out of breath.

00:51:24.000 Really?

00:51:24.000 I'm impressed.

00:51:25.000 You can vape like a motherfucker.

00:51:27.000 I know.

00:51:28.000 I think I have a special.

00:51:29.000 You know, you can drown from that.

00:51:31.000 From holding your breath?

00:51:32.000 Yeah.

00:51:33.000 Or vaping?

00:51:34.000 No, from holding your breath.

00:51:36.000 Because you can feel fine.

00:51:37.000 And then you get a concussion.

00:51:39.000 I don't know if it's a concussion, but you get sick about an hour later.

00:51:42.000 It's called secondary drowning.

00:51:44.000 I've heard something like that, yeah.

00:51:45.000 Yeah.

00:51:46.000 Huh.

00:51:47.000 Look, I got legs on my head.

00:51:48.000 That's terrifying.

00:51:49.000 I got a tree on my house.

00:51:51.000 licking a pussy.

00:51:57.000 Just make sure the bangs are good.

00:51:59.000 Yeah, let's make sure the bangs are good.

00:52:00.000 Bang check by the way pause bang check.

00:52:04.000 Oh god.

00:52:05.000 Oh, that's my favorite place to go in Thailand, by the way, is Bang Check.

00:52:11.000 By the way, you know what is similar to this and uh hustlers?

00:52:16.000 Yes, is that the Raider always makes himself awesome so fucking rad.

00:52:23.000 Yes.

00:52:24.000 Like, I'm so smart and laid back.

00:52:26.000 And I go, I thought we'd be hearing from you.

00:52:29.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 All right.

00:52:32.000 Hey, let me solve some mathematical equations while I cook the perfect meal.

00:52:36.000 Yeah, she was the one in Hustlers, the writer chick that made the movie was the one to get her out of all the shit and like tell her story to the world.

00:52:44.000 If it wasn't for me, but I mean, I don't want any credit.

00:52:46.000 But Lou, you didn't do anything wrong.

00:52:48.000 No, what's her name, Chris?

00:52:50.000 Look at this goof.

00:52:51.000 Lieutenant.

00:52:53.000 On the ocean.

00:52:57.000 Edgar.

00:52:59.000 Best robot ever.

00:53:02.000 Jay, I'm really sorry.

00:53:05.000 I am hurt.

00:53:09.000 I know that he was black, and you're black.

00:53:12.000 And it's probably much harder to do.

00:53:13.000 So that's why I'm talking to you.

00:53:15.000 I obviously wasn't a fan, because I'm not nuts about the blacks, but you being a black, you probably spoke his gobbledygook language.

00:53:22.000 And she's not even talking to Kristen Stewart, who's in the thing, too.

00:53:25.000 Yeah, Kristen.

00:53:26.000 No, Kristen Stewart just met him.

00:53:28.000 Yeah.

00:53:30.000 Is that a stolen car?

00:53:33.000 Okay.

00:53:34.000 At least Kristen Stewart's character has like an inkling of a personality.

00:53:38.000 Right.

00:53:39.000 She's kind of a goof.

00:53:40.000 She's like the wild goof one.

00:53:41.000 Yeah.

00:53:43.000 That's the only person with any personality yet.

00:53:50.000 Why do you ask?

00:53:52.000 Well, both of me headdress.

00:53:54.000 What's her shoes?

00:53:58.000 Okay.

00:53:58.000 Is this a scene where like it's written around the fact that they all just took a shower?

00:54:03.000 And they all have shower hair?

00:54:05.000 Yes, yes.

00:54:08.000 They're like, I like this look where we're all out of the shower.

00:54:12.000 Like we just got a little bit of a great shower in there.

00:54:21.000 Yes, thank you.

00:54:23.000 Yeah, they've all just had a shit.

00:54:24.000 Are we all showered?

00:54:26.000 We're all wet.

00:54:27.000 Let's go back to my cabin and just shower the shit out of our hair.

00:54:33.000 Oh, they love that logo.

00:54:34.000 He was shooting at you.

00:54:36.000 Shane.

00:54:37.000 The guy who made the logo for Charlie's Angels makes more than the Angels.

00:54:41.000 They fucking put that shit everywhere.

00:54:44.000 The shooter's a ghost.

00:54:45.000 Facial recognition.

00:54:46.000 If he gets $100 every time it appears, he made more money than Elizabeth Banks.

00:54:51.000 Who lost, obviously, negative $50 million.

00:54:53.000 That is bonanza.

00:54:55.000 I'm obliged to remind you, Charlie frowns on revenge, Jane.

00:54:59.000 So, Ms. Hawkland, your palace.

00:55:01.000 Robot, no like.

00:55:03.000 Robot want to avenge death.

00:55:09.000 They just have their logo pulsating in the back everywhere.

00:55:11.000 Just in case.

00:55:15.000 But if someone's spying on you and you don't want to be seen, then you're giving it away.

00:55:19.000 That's like MS-13 just having MS-13 logos.

00:55:23.000 It's like James Bond having 007 cufflinks.

00:55:26.000 Although MS-13 do write it on their phone.

00:55:28.000 Oh, your face.

00:55:28.000 They literally write it on their face, yeah.

00:55:30.000 There's a flaw in the system.

00:55:33.000 What's the flaw?

00:55:36.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:55:37.000 Right.

00:55:39.000 How could a Rubik's Cube power a building?

00:55:41.000 It purifies water.

00:55:43.000 But how?

00:55:46.000 An electromagnetic pulse.

00:55:48.000 Like a brain seizure, essentially.

00:55:50.000 Yes.

00:55:52.000 It disrupts the neural networks and looks like a stroke or an aneurysm.

00:55:55.000 So it can be used without a trace of evidence.

00:55:58.000 So she is a smart one.

00:56:00.000 Yeah.

00:56:01.000 And it can be traded remotely across the network that I created.

00:56:05.000 Oh, that is what you're doing.

00:56:08.000 Who all knows about this?

00:56:10.000 Well, I filed a report after it almost killed my colleague.

00:56:13.000 I would like to update my criticism here.

00:56:16.000 I said that it was fucking absurd that a Rubik's Cube could power an entire fucking skyrise, right?

00:56:24.000 Very reasonable.

00:56:26.000 That's not all it can do.

00:56:28.000 It can also randomly be used to kill random people.

00:56:32.000 So I guess when it's powering a building, you go, hey, the CEO is on the 34th floor.

00:56:38.000 Send out a...

00:56:40.000 And it's like, CEO, this isn't even a kid's book It would be easier.

00:56:47.000 I'd need less suspension of disbelief if this had a box that was a ghost.

00:56:52.000 And the ghost used supernatural powers to power the building, but it could also fly over.

00:56:52.000 Right.

00:56:56.000 But even then, it would have like a skull face and be like, what's next, master?

00:57:01.000 Right.

00:57:02.000 Shall I kill the CEO guy?

00:57:04.000 What's the interface to this cube?

00:57:06.000 Yeah.

00:57:10.000 Hey, Alexa.

00:57:11.000 Don't get the wrong guy.

00:57:12.000 There's two bald guys on that floor.

00:57:15.000 Get the main bald guy, the one with the mole on his ear.

00:57:19.000 Another one that's a mole.

00:57:22.000 The frail CEO's at his house.

00:57:23.000 That's a substitute this week.

00:57:26.000 Wouldn't it be easier just to use electricity and hire an assassin?

00:57:31.000 Than the cube that solves the world hunger and everything, inventing this stupid shit.

00:57:37.000 No, we're behind schedule, but there are six prototypes in the Bark Facility Vault, plus the one in my lab that I was using.

00:57:43.000 There's eight.

00:57:44.000 Let's get those prototypes out of there.

00:57:46.000 This is like just to pause for a second.

00:57:49.000 Did she used to work at Now This and do those videos?

00:57:52.000 When are you going to stop being perpetually overwhelmed?

00:57:54.000 The block industry is equipped with insane security.

00:57:57.000 There is no way to go.

00:57:58.000 Do you think she still has security threats?

00:58:01.000 Wait, she's Irish?

00:58:02.000 Does she care to cows?

00:58:03.000 I just learned the robot was Irish one second.

00:58:06.000 Does she still have a security?

00:58:08.000 Is she gonna be there at the top of the margin?

00:58:13.000 How does it happen?

00:58:14.000 Wow, these blueprints are magically delicious.

00:58:20.000 You have to go there and steal his fucking lucky charms.

00:58:23.000 You know we do have to do that.

00:58:24.000 What the fuck?

00:58:26.000 Bull cuts?

00:58:27.000 Now I've heard everything.

00:58:29.000 That's not a ball cut, but okay.

00:58:30.000 Yeah, it's not even close.

00:58:33.000 Hello.

00:58:34.000 I'm a horny white male who's going to fuck with you.

00:58:38.000 She turns around.

00:58:40.000 Oh, hold on a second.

00:58:42.000 I need to smell your pussy.

00:58:48.000 This is what men in power do.

00:58:53.000 otherwise you can't go up the escalator.

00:59:05.000 Oh, that's a big one with the feminists.

00:59:07.000 They don't like to be told to smile.

00:59:08.000 I don't get that.

00:59:09.000 Someone told me, don't forget to smile.

00:59:11.000 I'd go, you know what?

00:59:13.000 You're right.

00:59:14.000 Right.

00:59:15.000 I gotta stop hating.

00:59:16.000 You'd be like, oh shit, was I frowning?

00:59:18.000 I would go like this.

00:59:19.000 And I turn my friend upside down.

00:59:25.000 Oh, I feel raped.

00:59:27.000 That guy made a comment that it's a cliche feminist gripe.

00:59:31.000 Now I'm going to kill myself.

00:59:33.000 What if I don't want to smile?

00:59:34.000 I guess you could be an angry bitch.

00:59:36.000 I really like these bathrooms, by the way.

00:59:41.000 This black robot woman is going to have trouble getting cats in another movie that's not basketball related.

00:59:46.000 She's a fucking giraffe.

00:59:47.000 She is tall as hell, yeah.

00:59:49.000 She's distracting.

00:59:50.000 She has the face of a short person.

00:59:52.000 What's his name, Minnie Mean?

00:59:54.000 Vern Troyer.

00:59:54.000 Yeah.

00:59:55.000 but opposite.

01:00:03.000 I don't know.

01:00:03.000 Wait, what was that?

01:00:04.000 Why did he need the second high?

01:00:07.000 Oh, white man.

01:00:09.000 I'm an idiot.

01:00:13.000 Wait, now they're Vulcans?

01:00:14.000 Yeah, women are Vulcans.

01:00:17.000 Why didn't she do that to the guy that was assaulting her and she had the chance to?

01:00:20.000 Why don't they just make that their only move?

01:00:20.000 Yeah.

01:00:22.000 It's the best move I've ever seen.

01:00:24.000 Can this cube thing just...

01:00:30.000 Why can't that cube just thwart any enemy in their way?

01:00:33.000 At this point, now she's British.

01:00:40.000 She sounded Irish before.

01:00:46.000 I'm lost.

01:00:47.000 I was like, I'm a dyke, and this means I want to fuck.

01:00:53.000 I missed that.

01:00:58.000 Nothing in this movie is worth rewinding.

01:01:00.000 Except holding your breath.

01:01:02.000 Right.

01:01:04.000 So before they think being inconspicuous is like spreading out and having one of their members like nine miles away, but now it's wearing the same shit with the same hair and walk around?

01:01:15.000 Can you done this in the cafe?

01:01:15.000 Yeah.

01:01:18.000 Unless they're pretending to be the same person?

01:01:24.000 Getting secrets from the discs.

01:01:27.000 Jessica I like.

01:01:28.000 Sneaking around in a silly bob.

01:01:31.000 *Ding*

01:01:38.000 How about the fat guy right now going, hello, some woman pinched my neck and took my ID.

01:01:45.000 I believe we're dealing with super spies because it totally paralyzed me.

01:01:49.000 Who's those guns?

01:01:51.000 Not here.

01:01:52.000 Someone gets to it.

01:01:53.000 The plot's taken.

01:01:54.000 Can you get an ID?

01:01:55.000 Look, she's unflappable.

01:01:58.000 And then I want to be like this older woman, like a maternal figure in the movie.

01:02:03.000 It's just like over it, you know?

01:02:05.000 Yeah, I guess I could help you.

01:02:09.000 It's this.

01:02:10.000 And I want glasses to make me look smart.

01:02:13.000 Predicted spin.

01:02:15.000 But he signed up for the crew behind everything while he's here.

01:02:23.000 You know what's funny too?

01:02:25.000 Who just showed up?

01:02:26.000 Your boy just showed up.

01:02:28.000 The bald guy.

01:02:29.000 I think the computer thinks Eleanor Hofflin is right now.

01:02:35.000 I'm sending you an image of Eleanor Hofflin.

01:02:37.000 Give it to all our guys.

01:02:38.000 I want her detained for questioning.

01:02:42.000 Meanwhile, one of the people portraying this nerd is a seven-foot tall black woman.

01:02:48.000 Hope they don't look at her face or see her size.

01:02:56.000 That's temperature controlled.

01:02:57.000 I know that from going to the grocery store.

01:03:01.000 I brought a Sin keyboard if you guys want to hear any 80s new wave.

01:03:08.000 That's her stealing the thing?

01:03:11.000 Yeah, how many are there?

01:03:12.000 And when you're powering the building, That's how you power the building.

01:03:16.000 You put it in a little box in the main thing that just emanates.

01:03:20.000 But was it powering the building?

01:03:22.000 Or is there for storage?

01:03:24.000 I don't know.

01:03:25.000 It could have been there for storage.

01:03:28.000 And aren't these things just like emanating crazy energy everywhere they go?

01:03:31.000 Right.

01:03:32.000 Yeah, what's the receiver they're playing?

01:03:34.000 But you have to put an entire system in a building?

01:03:36.000 Should it look like a Dr. Zeus elephant trunk?

01:03:38.000 I'm just like...

01:03:39.000 Yeah.

01:03:47.000 It's 9 million cords.

01:03:48.000 A bunch of different little systems.

01:03:50.000 So if this one thing is doing it all, I guess it's just like this queen hub.

01:03:55.000 Just sitting there glowing in the basement going, yada yer, yadda.

01:03:59.000 As all these things are just like, holy shit, I can't have all this energy, like hair.

01:04:03.000 It's like a brain with hair coming out of it.

01:04:04.000 Right.

01:04:05.000 You shouldn't get near it.

01:04:07.000 No, you shouldn't even think about it.

01:04:10.000 Hi.

01:04:11.000 Are you a tough robot who can fight like Ronda Rousey?

01:04:11.000 Hi.

01:04:16.000 By the way, he's even too much of a hunk to be in a lab.

01:04:20.000 Are you with health and safety?

01:04:22.000 I bet he gets treated better than the ugly guy.

01:04:24.000 He's five years old.

01:04:25.000 Remember the accountant who was like, I suck.

01:04:28.000 Yeah.

01:04:30.000 And the fat guy knew he was like, ow, you pinch me.

01:04:33.000 But I bet because he's more handsome, he's a little cooler.

01:04:38.000 These feminists are sexists.

01:04:40.000 Or they're ableists and body shape.

01:04:40.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 They're shallow.

01:04:43.000 Yes.

01:04:44.000 You put your mouth on it.

01:04:47.000 20 billion bacteria reside in the human mouth.

01:04:50.000 Yeah, that's what guys say.

01:04:52.000 That's what surfers say to hot chicks.

01:04:55.000 Sorry, you're gross.

01:04:56.000 Meanwhile, he's dying to eat out her ass.

01:05:00.000 This only has 5 billion chemicals?

01:05:01.000 I want 900 trillion from your ass in my face, man.

01:05:05.000 Can I get the anal cut of this movie?

01:05:11.000 What is it called?

01:05:11.000 The butthole cut?

01:05:13.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 From cats, yeah.

01:05:16.000 Yeah, they actually got him confused.

01:05:17.000 The butthole cut was for this movie, not cats.

01:05:24.000 I'm having diarrhea.

01:05:26.000 Can I have one for all of you, PS?

01:05:29.000 Yes.

01:05:30.000 I've had two, you've had...

01:05:34.000 It's not J-Mo.

01:05:35.000 I'm not a bartender.

01:05:36.000 It's makers with mockers.

01:05:40.000 But you don't have the enzymes to break it down.

01:05:46.000 You know what?

01:05:46.000 If you beat up a bad guy in a stall like that, you'd be remiss not to take a shit on his chest.

01:05:54.000 I mean, why not?

01:05:55.000 If you're ever going to do it in your entire career!

01:05:59.000 Ow!

01:06:00.000 You know I shit on that guy, right?

01:06:03.000 Figuratively.

01:06:04.000 Now, he totally overacted that.

01:06:05.000 He should have just been going like, oh, god damn it.

01:06:09.000 Not soap!

01:06:12.000 Yeah, what?

01:06:13.000 Yeah, really.

01:06:14.000 And you know who notices, by the way, things like that?

01:06:17.000 Like you overacted the soap?

01:06:18.000 Uh-huh.

01:06:19.000 A good director.

01:06:22.000 There's no director here.

01:06:26.000 Dude, you're about to fuck a robot.

01:06:27.000 I'm sure she saw that intro with all the shock, the shutter shock put in, and she was like, that is...

01:06:34.000 When she saw that, she cried.

01:06:36.000 Oh my God, I would kill to see Elizabeth Banks.

01:06:38.000 She was like, see this movie?

01:06:40.000 It's real.

01:06:41.000 For the first time, she goes, I have no problem with that lesbian jumping on a helicopter.

01:06:46.000 We have a winner here, guys.

01:06:49.000 And yeah, soap does hurt.

01:06:51.000 I want to interview her so bad and be like, what's your favorite scene in the movie?

01:06:53.000 And she's like, isn't this movie kind of emotional?

01:06:56.000 There are some ups and downs.

01:06:58.000 What part tugged at your heartstrings emotions?

01:07:00.000 What did you say in this movie through these characters?

01:07:03.000 She's like, well, I took off my wig to reveal my fake hair that I had.

01:07:10.000 Now I'm a 5.9.

01:07:13.000 I removed my wig to reveal my other wig.

01:07:19.000 You've never seen my hair once.

01:07:23.000 Aside from my eyebrows.

01:07:30.000 If you'd like to see it, maybe check out a Macy Gray video.

01:07:34.000 Did you see that extra going up the stairs?

01:07:35.000 No.

01:07:36.000 Mr. Fleming said he would like to see you in the lab.

01:07:38.000 Worst extras I've ever seen.

01:07:40.000 Did you see her?

01:07:44.000 You were there.

01:07:45.000 Do it there.

01:07:46.000 No!

01:07:47.000 Oh, it's the same German employee?

01:07:49.000 I'm out.

01:07:50.000 I'm out.

01:07:51.000 I love you.

01:07:55.000 I see her!

01:07:56.000 What?

01:07:57.000 Come on with that one.

01:08:00.000 Is this how security works?

01:08:02.000 Yeah, why do they hire the Keystone cops to guard their building?

01:08:07.000 Get on the ground!

01:08:10.000 I've seen more competent cops, and Ernest goes to school.

01:08:15.000 Sorry, Susan.

01:08:18.000 Remove your Bob and put that up your cup.

01:08:24.000 Watch all the exits unlocked.

01:08:26.000 Just meet from the bottom up.

01:08:28.000 Jay, I got it.

01:08:32.000 We need to go.

01:08:33.000 Can't you just step off the top of the building with your 900-foot-long legs?

01:08:39.000 Is there another way out?

01:08:45.000 Wait, she's the everything Rubik's cube.

01:08:45.000 Look at that!

01:08:48.000 Turn it into an EMP.

01:08:51.000 Get the hell out of here.

01:08:53.000 How many different, like, Polygon.

01:08:59.000 You know, the more ridiculous they make that cube, the more possible it kinda seems.

01:09:03.000 It's like some nano thing that just It's just like God's fuckin' It's God's foreskin.

01:09:11.000 You know the T2000 from Terminator?

01:09:14.000 It could just turn into like anything.

01:09:15.000 Yes.

01:09:16.000 It's like that.

01:09:17.000 It's slightly better.

01:09:20.000 It's slightly better than Terminator.

01:09:23.000 Okay?

01:09:23.000 Are you going to give some security guard a brain hamorage?

01:09:28.000 Ralph, get over here now.

01:09:28.000 Ralph?

01:09:30.000 There you are.

01:09:30.000 Ralph is about to blow.

01:09:32.000 I can't stop it.

01:09:33.000 Get over here.

01:09:35.000 You're about to blow?

01:09:38.000 I'm about to blow.

01:09:41.000 You know, she tried to tell him.

01:09:46.000 She tried to tell him.

01:09:46.000 She just murdered a guy for wanting to fuck her.

01:09:50.000 Well, he kind of killed himself, you see.

01:09:54.000 By the way, zero attention to the fact that you just murdered a man.

01:09:54.000 It's not her fault.

01:09:58.000 Why'd they leave wanting to fuck you?

01:10:00.000 Okay, no, she didn't peek out.

01:10:03.000 They left it on the floor.

01:10:04.000 Is that not it on the floor?

01:10:06.000 Oh yeah, you're right.

01:10:07.000 Did they leave it on the floor?

01:10:08.000 I think they just left it glowing on the floor.

01:10:12.000 I guess I'll need a new boyfriend.

01:10:12.000 Huh.

01:10:14.000 What is it, it has a one-time use?

01:10:16.000 Should we be okay?

01:10:18.000 Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's fine.

01:10:21.000 He's even fine, right?

01:10:22.000 Yeah, I'm sure he's okay.

01:10:25.000 I'm sure he's fine.

01:10:27.000 Her first murder.

01:10:29.000 They're always a little squeamish.

01:10:31.000 Ah, well, that's a shame.

01:10:34.000 Obviously, this is a disappointing setback.

01:10:37.000 But we have time.

01:10:38.000 Wait, you have an East London accent.

01:10:40.000 You're not smart enough to make a Rubik's Cube energy machine.

01:10:44.000 Well, Roy, we've been in a bit of trouble.

01:10:47.000 This ain't sound.

01:10:49.000 Tommy Robinson.

01:10:50.000 Engineers from that?

01:10:52.000 How could they do that when they're hoiding?

01:10:54.000 Hoiding?

01:10:55.000 They're hoiding?

01:10:56.000 Yeah, no, that's Luton.

01:10:58.000 Luton.

01:10:58.000 He's fucking Croydon.

01:11:02.000 Luton has this weird Northern English thing.

01:11:05.000 Hoiding?

01:11:07.000 Oi don't know.

01:11:08.000 I don't know where they're hoiding.

01:11:09.000 Hoiding?

01:11:10.000 Where they're hoiding or the twin?

01:11:12.000 It's hard to do that.

01:11:13.000 Oi went over.

01:11:14.000 It's like it goes oi for all eyes or northern English and then it goes over to East London.

01:11:19.000 Oi went over!

01:11:22.000 That is it.

01:11:24.000 Oi went over!

01:11:26.000 Over!

01:11:26.000 Twinning!

01:11:28.000 But it's not down there!

01:11:30.000 Come on, win this point!

01:11:32.000 Look at what never happened!

01:11:34.000 I took a huge point out of this Mars bar!

01:11:37.000 And then I sold it on Lee Pi!

01:11:41.000 That is a great matchup.

01:11:44.000 10 out of 10.

01:11:46.000 It was down there owing.

01:11:50.000 Oh my God.

01:11:51.000 Look at this basketball freak.

01:11:52.000 She looks...

01:11:58.000 You know, in the Kingsman, they give us this scene super early.

01:12:03.000 Let me show you the guns.

01:12:12.000 Here you can.

01:12:13.000 Good.

01:12:14.000 Is she going to fuck any of them or are they just their friends?

01:12:17.000 I don't know.

01:12:18.000 Yo, me a burpee now.

01:12:19.000 Okay.

01:12:20.000 Yo, me a what?

01:12:21.000 A burpee?

01:12:22.000 Working out?

01:12:23.000 Hey, sister, how are you?

01:12:25.000 Nice to see you.

01:12:26.000 This is how people are greeted, by the way.

01:12:28.000 When you're greeting someone, you get in a line.

01:12:32.000 Yeah, each of you do your little thing.

01:12:35.000 Is he security?

01:12:36.000 You got the weirdest security checkpoint.

01:12:38.000 When we meet.

01:12:40.000 Next time we meet, like Ezra Levant, you get behind me and I'm like, hi, Ezra, how are you?

01:12:45.000 He's like, and I'm like, we are.

01:12:49.000 And then I'll go the way and then you guys do your.

01:12:52.000 Here's a kid on the left cheek and then here's the right.

01:12:58.000 If you ever need additional adjustments, I'm here for you.

01:13:01.000 This thing takes care of our health and well-being.

01:13:03.000 Keeps us in fine shape, you know?

01:13:05.000 Well, that's right.

01:13:06.000 Okay, that seems so progressive and for the dark.

01:13:12.000 I noticed the bananas smell like his ass.

01:13:16.000 I wear yoga clothes.

01:13:18.000 I'm not allowed outside.

01:13:19.000 And I usually get fucked with a strap on.

01:13:23.000 Which I don't enjoy by myself.

01:13:27.000 And why?

01:13:28.000 Especially when it comes to the bottom.

01:13:29.000 Wow, I thought you guys were in a picture of like being the brows and me craft.

01:13:33.000 Well, eating is all about the intention you put into your meal.

01:13:36.000 If you honor the cow, the cheese is going to be good for you.

01:13:40.000 What?

01:13:40.000 Now they're fucking Hindus?

01:13:49.000 So is this Elizabeth Banks telling us the ideal man?

01:13:52.000 Yeah, this guy is a godsend.

01:13:56.000 I think Elizabeth Banks'husband, by the way, I looked this up.

01:13:58.000 Also, if you're gay, I'll throw you off a fucking building.

01:14:01.000 Like, he's not a pussy like this.

01:14:03.000 Maybe that's why she's rebelling against it, because she's like...

01:14:12.000 They say they want kale and everything, but then you hand them a cheeseburger and they're like, "Oh, Jesus Christ." So she's had a cheeseburger so long, she's Yeah, she's fat.

01:14:22.000 This is the grass is greener on the other side.

01:14:24.000 She's got the grass.

01:14:25.000 And the kale.

01:14:27.000 Now she's projecting what she doesn't have.

01:14:29.000 Or it's more like, you guys should be eating kale.

01:14:32.000 I mean, obviously, when it comes to me, I'm going to have a fucking cheeseburger with fries.

01:14:36.000 But you people, you people, if you would all eat kale, the world would be a better place.

01:14:42.000 I'm going to have a cheeseburger, but that's none of your business.

01:14:44.000 Can't believe I'm calling her husband a cheeseburger, a delicious cheeseburger.

01:14:48.000 She sure he is.

01:14:48.000 Bacon cheeseburger.

01:14:49.000 Yummy.

01:14:50.000 Pepper Jacobitch.

01:14:52.000 Give me some of that Elizabeth Banks husband booty.

01:14:57.000 I'll be the fries on the side if you don't mind.

01:15:02.000 Yes.

01:15:03.000 It's code Prime 40 and single.

01:15:05.000 And I have HD.

01:15:06.000 That would be funny if we joined some elite gang and their initiation was to seduce Elizabeth Banks' husband.

01:15:14.000 Just before the dick goes in your mouth, you get to go on Gladys.

01:15:17.000 It's like you think you're jumping on glass and it's like Doritos.

01:15:20.000 And when they do the hazing things, that's one of them.

01:15:23.000 We're going to jump on glass.

01:15:24.000 And you jump and it's the crunch of the Doritos.

01:15:26.000 You're like, oh, thank God.

01:15:28.000 But for this one.

01:15:29.000 I bet that's illegal now.

01:15:30.000 And her husband is just so bummed out about this, he's like, Jesus Christ.

01:15:34.000 There's another group of five.

01:15:37.000 Someone calling you gang members.

01:15:41.000 Sorry, Charlie's Angels.

01:15:42.000 We weren't paying attention.

01:15:43.000 Is this relevant to the plot?

01:15:44.000 Wait, you girl and Paul Garby on the raft.

01:15:49.000 No money more broadly.

01:15:50.000 Looking good.

01:15:52.000 So what about you?

01:15:52.000 How did Charlie find you?

01:15:53.000 Jane is former MIS.

01:15:55.000 Looking good.

01:15:56.000 She's a doctor.

01:15:57.000 You work for That's looking good, right?

01:15:59.000 Is that your phone?

01:16:01.000 I also followed the rules of Charlie Claude.

01:16:07.000 Yep.

01:16:08.000 Okay, so top right, I'm just trying to change.

01:16:12.000 Perfect.

01:16:12.000 I am a murderer.

01:16:14.000 No.

01:16:15.000 Yes, you are.

01:16:16.000 No!

01:16:18.000 The point is, if Callisto falls in the wrong hands, by the way, that was a very female trait we just saw.

01:16:25.000 So she's feeling guilt for killing the security guard, which is exactly the same as hustlers, where they go, I know, Crystal, you think you did something wrong, but you didn't.

01:16:32.000 Those guys were jerks, and they were stealing from the fireman's retirement spending it on blowjobs.

01:16:38.000 Right.

01:16:39.000 Which you don't get in the showjobs.

01:16:41.000 You get robbed and killed.

01:16:43.000 Yeah, they're getting lapped at.

01:16:47.000 And is it not the whore's fault for giving blowjobs?

01:16:50.000 Yeah, blowjobs are illegal.

01:16:51.000 In fact, cops go undercover at strip clubs and try to get BJs, and then when they get, or they almost get one, they shut the place down.

01:16:59.000 That's right.

01:16:59.000 So these finance guys, maybe one or two of them got a beach, but it's frowned upon.

01:17:05.000 I mean, just clear passport control and astung.

01:17:10.000 Oh no.

01:17:11.000 Who didn't?

01:17:13.000 I got food poisoned from under the grand yogurt sauce that I left out, but then I got hungry.

01:17:18.000 Right.

01:17:20.000 Not that.

01:17:22.000 She's so crazy.

01:17:23.000 She's so funny.

01:17:26.000 The black woman has so little personality, and they always do this in movies.

01:17:29.000 They always do this with Don Cheadle.

01:17:32.000 It's so underwhelming.

01:17:33.000 Did you see that movie with Adam Sandler where Adam Sandler lost his money?

01:17:36.000 His money lost his family.

01:17:38.000 Obviously, I think losing more money is worth reign over me.

01:17:41.000 Yeah, and it's like Adam Sandler's really depressed because he lost his family in 9-11.

01:17:46.000 And Don Cheadle is his friend who's there to console him.

01:17:48.000 It's not funny.

01:17:48.000 It's a serious trauma.

01:17:49.000 I want to see it.

01:17:50.000 And Don Cheadle is so nothing.

01:17:52.000 He's just like, hey, man, how you been holding up?

01:17:55.000 All right.

01:17:56.000 He doesn't react to shit.

01:17:57.000 Go get a burrito.

01:17:58.000 Do you want a burrito?

01:17:59.000 And you're just like, you could slit this guy's throat.

01:18:00.000 I'd feel nothing.

01:18:02.000 He doesn't have a personality.

01:18:04.000 because I think writers, pussy writers like Elizabeth Banks, are so scared of giving a black person any substance that they end up making a character we don't give a shit about.

01:18:12.000 Like the fact that they're they like whitewash like make her fart and have bad thoughts or be uncomfortable, but but I don't know about incredibly tough.

01:18:24.000 The worst part in this symbol, but the worst part of right now is about to be this.

01:18:28.000 And then she rips one.

01:18:29.000 Oh my god, that's much louder than I thought it would be.

01:18:32.000 That actually tore my inner lips.

01:18:33.000 In fact, that tore me so severely.

01:18:37.000 We could do a butt cheek, a buttock.

01:18:40.000 A butthawk.

01:18:41.000 Okay, ruin the joke.

01:18:42.000 The comedy is so unforgiving.

01:18:44.000 Yes.

01:18:45.000 One stutter and it's gone.

01:18:49.000 Her hair is so distracting to me.

01:18:51.000 By the way, okay, we've missed about 10 minutes of this.

01:18:54.000 I don't feel like anything.

01:18:55.000 I don't think you still need the Rubik's Cube.

01:18:57.000 The people who make the Rubik's Cube want to kill you because you've noticed that it can kill security guards.

01:19:02.000 Yeah.

01:19:02.000 The moments leading into the most tense part of the film, if they're just as important as the intro to the film, which is disposable, that's not good.

01:19:11.000 And did they already reveal that the guy who invented it is the one who wants this chick dead?

01:19:16.000 When he had the earthings and I was making fun of his accent?

01:19:19.000 I think that was him saying, I'll donate this bitch.

01:19:22.000 Oh, I see.

01:19:23.000 I think we've already revealed that the inventor wants is the guy hiring people to kill her.

01:19:23.000 He wants her to dead.

01:19:29.000 Gotcha.

01:19:29.000 And so she worked on it.

01:19:31.000 Yeah, she worked on it and she noticed a flaw and that's slowing down production.

01:19:34.000 Could slow down production.

01:19:36.000 So that's why she's wanted dead.

01:19:36.000 Gotcha.

01:19:40.000 We're going to Brazil.

01:19:42.000 Going to Brazil.

01:19:43.000 I can get a tax break there.

01:19:49.000 Welcome to Elizabeth Banks' first and last movie.

01:19:53.000 Didn't we notice anything wrong with the song she made for Hillary?

01:19:57.000 Bump, bump, bum, bum, bump, bump.

01:20:00.000 This one's for you, Hillary.

01:20:01.000 Uh-oh.

01:20:02.000 Istanbul, are they giving us shady?

01:20:05.000 Oh, maybe she's bad.

01:20:07.000 I think you know what to do.

01:20:13.000 But she doesn't look happy about it.

01:20:14.000 Wait, what was that?

01:20:16.000 She bonds.

01:20:16.000 She's finally confused.

01:20:18.000 Thank you.

01:20:19.000 Oh, no.

01:20:20.000 Oh, she's giving away their locations?

01:20:26.000 No.

01:20:26.000 I refuse to believe Elizabeth Banks has the depth to make herself a bad guy.

01:20:30.000 No, she wants to be both.

01:20:31.000 I want to be like the good matriarch and then also bad girl.

01:20:35.000 I want for people to think that I'm evil and then I turn out to be nice and people are like, I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Elizabeth Banks.

01:20:42.000 And I want a girl named Sherry Gillam to see it who went to my high school and I want her to fucking stew because she never trusted me.

01:20:50.000 She was the bad girl and I'm a better bad girl than she'll ever be.

01:20:54.000 But then also I'm good again.

01:20:57.000 Perhaps it's simply that you missed the job.

01:21:00.000 We all get old, my friend.

01:21:02.000 Retirement is not a death sentence.

01:21:05.000 So is the man who refuses to retire.

01:21:07.000 So is the man who doesn't look like a walking penis in a suit.

01:21:12.000 Every time he talks, I hear a children's story being read.

01:21:16.000 He sounds like a cartoon lion.

01:21:21.000 But what would come of this new gift?

01:21:25.000 Whoopi, we'd love to have you on the show.

01:21:32.000 He's got a wire.

01:21:34.000 right so he's been Oh no.

01:21:43.000 Oh, Elizabeth Banks is the villain.

01:21:45.000 And Predator Albino Baby has caught on.

01:21:48.000 Predator Albino.

01:21:52.000 Wait, this is what the scene they were starting before.

01:21:55.000 Where they're going to show us the costumes.

01:21:57.000 By the way, 1970s Charlie's Angels I watched as a little kid.

01:22:01.000 It's so much better than this fucking movie.

01:22:03.000 And the budget for that was 80 bucks.

01:22:07.000 And I just get to take whatever I want.

01:22:09.000 How is this a closet of your dreams?

01:22:14.000 Okay, so you want to start with a protective base layer?

01:22:18.000 With a protective base layer?

01:22:21.000 Why do women love ethnic men?

01:22:22.000 Why do they need to hear an accent?

01:22:25.000 It's the sound of servitude.

01:22:27.000 Or does it mean I travel a lot?

01:22:29.000 No.

01:22:30.000 Like the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing comes from like this guy, like a tall...

01:22:37.000 It means like I've been to Morocco.

01:22:39.000 This shirt was actually made in Bangladesh.

01:22:41.000 And they think that that's like when Sex in the City went to Morocco.

01:22:47.000 Did they?

01:22:48.000 Yeah.

01:22:48.000 Oh, shit.

01:22:49.000 It's like their ideal man, a fucking pedophile rapist.

01:22:53.000 Who wants to throw games off buildings?

01:22:56.000 My goal is to look like a 12-year-old boy.

01:22:57.000 That's why in fashion magazines, all the women look like a 12-year-old boy.

01:23:01.000 So I go to where they fuck 12-year-old boys.

01:23:03.000 Right.

01:23:04.000 That makes sense.

01:23:06.000 Oh, I'm so bored of her.

01:23:08.000 Like, as an actress.

01:23:09.000 You're younger than I thought.

01:23:11.000 I'm a good part.

01:23:12.000 This is why the Kingsman's better.

01:23:13.000 They had...

01:23:18.000 Yeah, and they had history.

01:23:20.000 There was a point.

01:23:21.000 There was a functionality to all of this.

01:23:22.000 This has history.

01:23:23.000 They showed the Photoshop pictures.

01:23:25.000 Yeah.

01:23:26.000 Customized to fire tranquilizer darts.

01:23:29.000 Is that another gun control thing?

01:23:32.000 We don't need to have guns.

01:23:34.000 You can have tranquilizer darts.

01:23:37.000 Is that a gadget?

01:23:38.000 Or is that just a gadget?

01:23:39.000 It's just a fucking trank.

01:23:41.000 The Tiger King has one.

01:23:43.000 What's the range of that?

01:23:46.000 A trank dart?

01:23:47.000 Oh, good.

01:23:48.000 Let's all get microchips in our skin.

01:23:50.000 I'm sure Alex Jones loves that part.

01:23:52.000 This is an RFID logo.

01:23:55.000 So that we can't be discovered.

01:23:58.000 As long as you have it on, you can hear us.

01:24:00.000 Cool.

01:24:01.000 Can I take his mids?

01:24:03.000 They're not mitts.

01:24:05.000 They are the bubonic plague.

01:24:10.000 We release those when we're ready to kill all of humanity.

01:24:14.000 We drop them off at the one we have two of them.

01:24:18.000 Because one is in Grand Central Station and one is in the Tokyo airport.

01:24:22.000 And they proceed to envelop mankind.

01:24:26.000 You can do the same thing with the North and South Pole.

01:24:28.000 We're definitely losing.

01:24:30.000 Yeah, we have one in the North Pole, one in the South Pole.

01:24:32.000 Fuck it.

01:24:36.000 Where'd you get these?

01:24:37.000 The platform.

01:24:40.000 Where's them in grocery stores?

01:24:42.000 Sea Dews.

01:24:43.000 What?

01:24:43.000 Grocery stores.

01:24:45.000 They're everywhere now, because it's but wiser.

01:24:47.000 Wow.

01:24:48.000 Sorry, let me guess.

01:24:50.000 You went to the grocery store and it was slightly crowded, but just like every other time.

01:24:55.000 They didn't have flour.

01:24:56.000 They didn't have.

01:24:57.000 The sugar was almost sold out.

01:24:59.000 I had the last sugar and then I couldn't even afford it.

01:25:01.000 I told you this many times.

01:25:03.000 If you want flowers, go to the cotton.

01:25:08.000 Thanks.

01:25:09.000 Anyway, but yeah, they were out of flour and you know, essentials.

01:25:16.000 Did it hurt to keep the face code?

01:25:19.000 Oh.

01:25:19.000 No.

01:25:20.000 I should have done it the rest of this entire movie.

01:25:23.000 Hi, I'm a 90-year-old man in the kid's body.

01:25:29.000 Hi, I'm the boyfriend of the guy who showed you the gun room.

01:25:35.000 Get away from me.

01:25:38.000 You are a cheetah.

01:25:39.000 Sorry, in our culture, we think women that are giraffes are dangerous.

01:25:45.000 She's pretty tall, too.

01:25:47.000 She's on a ladder.

01:25:49.000 The only time this woman looks normal as an actress is scenes shot on a hill.

01:25:54.000 She's actually...

01:25:59.000 It's like a forced perspective.

01:26:02.000 Have you ever been on stilts?

01:26:03.000 I feel like you have.

01:26:04.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:26:05.000 Yes.

01:26:06.000 They take like four minutes to get used to it.

01:26:09.000 And then you're just fucking hopping around like this bitch.

01:26:09.000 Yeah.

01:26:12.000 What's the best trick you've ever done on a skateboard?

01:26:15.000 It's on cute.

01:26:17.000 Okay.

01:26:19.000 A what?

01:26:19.000 A boneless one?

01:26:21.000 It's an 80s trick.

01:26:22.000 Oh, is that like a...

01:26:29.000 Gotcha.

01:26:30.000 That's pretty sick.

01:26:30.000 Gotcha.

01:26:31.000 It's pathetic.

01:26:32.000 No, that's pretty sick.

01:26:34.000 Because the timing is impossible.

01:26:36.000 No, it's really easy.

01:26:38.000 It's like one billionth of an ollie kick flip as far as skills.

01:26:42.000 Oh, shit.

01:26:43.000 Why is she talking to this bitch?

01:26:45.000 Christiana Annapore.

01:26:50.000 I believed you, but I lost everything.

01:26:53.000 I had to turn around with mothers, I couldn't even help.

01:26:56.000 I know.

01:27:00.000 This sets itself up to be just...

01:27:03.000 Look how nothing this actress, this character is.

01:27:05.000 Let me rebuild our trust.

01:27:08.000 I just watched all the James Bonds, and there's this guy in it.

01:27:14.000 You know, I forgot his name, but he's a really good character.

01:27:18.000 Great story.

01:27:19.000 He occurs multiple times in the series, and you don't like him, then you do like him, and it's not forced at all.

01:27:26.000 And that's kind of what this is.

01:27:28.000 Character depth.

01:27:29.000 You just have to show their range.

01:27:29.000 Yeah.

01:27:31.000 By the way, I'm completely fucking lost right now.

01:27:34.000 I don't know what's going to be.

01:27:35.000 I think they just show the green screen.

01:27:39.000 That's the green screen behind them.

01:27:40.000 They didn't key out.

01:27:43.000 So I got fired.

01:27:45.000 But of course, director Elizabeth Thanksgiving.

01:27:47.000 She's like, you know what?

01:27:48.000 It's kind of artsy.

01:27:48.000 No, I kind of like it.

01:27:50.000 So what are they doing now?

01:27:52.000 Good job, J. Come on.

01:27:57.000 Come on.

01:27:59.000 Wait a minute.

01:28:00.000 Are we befriending jihadists now in the fight for good?

01:28:06.000 She likes, I know a woman who knows all the cool jihadists.

01:28:14.000 This gadget is voice activated.

01:28:16.000 All you have to do is yell Allahu Akbar.

01:28:20.000 I can help you.

01:28:21.000 I have friends who will blow themselves up on your enemies.

01:28:26.000 They also will eat goat for lunch.

01:28:28.000 They're very inexpensive.

01:28:30.000 They can throw acid in your enemy's face.

01:28:34.000 Wait a minute, I think that's what's going on here.

01:28:37.000 So he goes to Morocco or some shit.

01:28:41.000 By the way, a nine-foot-tall black woman is weird, isn't it?

01:28:45.000 She would be a witch.

01:28:46.000 The second you leave and go to anywhere European, Asian, Middle Eastern, you are the only person imaginable.

01:28:58.000 I really wonder how tall she is.

01:29:00.000 I'm guessing 6'3.

01:29:02.000 Yeah.

01:29:03.000 Which on a chick is bananas.

01:29:05.000 5'10 looks tall on a chick.

01:29:06.000 Yeah.

01:29:10.000 Yeah, that is weird, huh?

01:29:12.000 Look at that little fuck you to men.

01:29:14.000 As soon as you're supposed to be dead, while you relax, fucking could recognize you, and we can't risk it.

01:29:21.000 Wait, now she's killing herself?

01:29:23.000 Fuck, I'm sorry, folks at home.

01:29:25.000 We went a little astray.

01:29:27.000 I don't want to ruin this movie for anybody.

01:29:29.000 Have you seen it?

01:29:30.000 This is the guy.

01:29:31.000 Thank you.

01:29:32.000 But he's clearly in Morocco, Turkey.

01:29:35.000 he's in a muslim country Oh, yeah, that's not.

01:29:55.000 Listen, I want to blend in, but I want to put my little string of hair in.

01:29:58.000 I need my bangs.

01:29:59.000 I'm never giving up my bangs.

01:30:01.000 Ryan Katsu.

01:30:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:05.000 Here's my brand new hat.

01:30:09.000 Ryan Katsu Sharia.

01:30:12.000 Very good.

01:30:15.000 I'll put a chip in it.

01:30:17.000 What's that?

01:30:20.000 Chip, chip, chip.

01:30:21.000 What are the chances Wow, he really.

01:30:27.000 Let his shit fall everywhere.

01:30:28.000 What was he juggling as well on his phone?

01:30:30.000 That's how I get tripped.

01:30:31.000 I go like this.

01:30:31.000 Whoa, shit!

01:30:32.000 When I trip, I'm completely nude on the cobblestone.

01:30:36.000 It's a yard sale.

01:30:37.000 Can I get my socks?

01:30:38.000 Does anyone have one of my socks?

01:30:42.000 Of course, this particular reason.

01:30:44.000 By ski poles or trees and where you're out with connections to international arms deals, drum trade.

01:30:49.000 All parties who might be interested in Callisto.

01:30:51.000 Familiarize yourselves.

01:30:52.000 Syndicate members, wealthy course owners expected to attend.

01:30:55.000 Flag anyone Fleming could be in business with.

01:30:58.000 I want to help.

01:31:00.000 Look.

01:31:01.000 Hang on a second.

01:31:03.000 If you have invented some Wakanda shit that can murder people, but also actually fuck the murder people.

01:31:10.000 Not even Wakanda, fuck Wakanda too.

01:31:11.000 It's more advanced than what's in Iron Man's chest.

01:31:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:15.000 Yeah, it's the juice from that.

01:31:17.000 So say you have the fucking shit chest juice.

01:31:20.000 You don't need to go visit arms dealers and risk going to prison for the rest of your life.

01:31:25.000 Just like sell it.

01:31:27.000 Just get them.

01:31:28.000 You're Henry Ford.

01:31:29.000 You just invented the car.

01:31:31.000 Relax, my friend.

01:31:32.000 Don't like, Henry Ford has just invented the Model T, so he's gone to a Moroccan horse race to help sell it to fucking drug dealers.

01:31:41.000 What?

01:31:41.000 Why don't you sell it to the guy who lives right there?

01:31:44.000 I want it in my house.

01:31:44.000 That's right.

01:31:45.000 Good point.

01:31:46.000 My energy bills are through the roof.

01:31:48.000 I would love to get a Rubik's Cube to power this shit.

01:31:50.000 He's selling top technology at like Girl Scout cookie level.

01:31:55.000 Yeah.

01:31:56.000 Door-to-door.

01:31:57.000 It's not.

01:31:58.000 Cocaine.

01:31:59.000 It's a perfectly legit energy source.

01:32:02.000 No, cocaine is actually.

01:32:03.000 What are you doing in fucking Morocco?

01:32:06.000 Dickweed?

01:32:07.000 Oh, I'll tell you why.

01:32:08.000 Because Elizabeth Banks wanted to bring her friends there.

01:32:12.000 The movie made $17 million, but her friends made fucking $20 million in fun.

01:32:17.000 Interesting.

01:32:18.000 Adam Sandler does that all the time.

01:32:20.000 His movies are always in Hawaii and fucking Africa with the woman with water parks.

01:32:26.000 Oh, yeah.

01:32:29.000 Yes.

01:32:29.000 I can hack any system and I can do it fast.

01:32:33.000 The murder mystery?

01:32:34.000 A typical hacker to me.

01:32:35.000 And don't tell me I can't do it because I know I can.

01:32:38.000 I'm done sitting still.

01:32:40.000 I'm done.

01:32:40.000 I've had a taste.

01:32:42.000 I want more.

01:32:44.000 You enjoyed killing your boyfriend?

01:32:45.000 Do you think...

01:32:50.000 That's it.

01:32:52.000 Deep cut.

01:32:54.000 I'll remember that.

01:32:56.000 It's a sneak peek.

01:32:57.000 Do you think Elizabeth Banks thought she might have gotten nominated?

01:33:01.000 Yeah, she did.

01:33:02.000 I would love it if she did.

01:33:05.000 I think she thought so.

01:33:08.000 How does that feel?

01:33:08.000 Because it's a movie.

01:33:09.000 Because it looks like it felt really good.

01:33:12.000 Nice.

01:33:13.000 I'm just going to give you the tablet.

01:33:16.000 I need to go back.

01:33:21.000 Yeah, this is a comic moment.

01:33:22.000 Where they're talking about her sh-I once saw a really fat baby giving Eskimo kisses to a kitten.

01:33:29.000 And that was more adorable.

01:33:32.000 Also, it's kind of implied that you're coming with us because you're in this briefing.

01:33:36.000 Yeah, she gave you the universal hacking tool and the bracelet, right?

01:33:41.000 Mm-hmm.

01:33:43.000 But how'd that feel?

01:33:43.000 Yeah.

01:33:44.000 Because it looked like it felt really good.

01:33:47.000 Nice.

01:33:49.000 I was just going to give you the tablet when it was done.

01:33:52.000 Mm-hmm.

01:33:53.000 I'll let it carry on.

01:33:57.000 Great.

01:33:59.000 I know what happened.

01:34:00.000 You know what happened?

01:34:01.000 Yeah, that was actually a good scene.

01:34:03.000 She was like, I want to be part of this thing.

01:34:05.000 And then they were like, you are, you are.

01:34:07.000 Yeah, that was actually funny and normal.

01:34:10.000 That's the thing.

01:34:11.000 It cuts the mustard.

01:34:12.000 This whole movie just cuts the mustard.

01:34:14.000 No, this whole movie sucks shit and never cuts the mustard except for that one 10-second scene where, by the way, we've drank about five beers and had half a bottle of whiskey.

01:34:24.000 And it's still like, you know what?

01:34:26.000 Those girls are kind of cute and they're having a good time.

01:34:30.000 They're out there.

01:34:31.000 And Elizabeth Banks, you know what?

01:34:33.000 You tried your best.

01:34:34.000 This whole movie is that character.

01:34:36.000 What character?

01:34:37.000 The shoes?

01:34:38.000 The one who's like, I want to be a part of this.

01:34:40.000 It's like, yar, you made the movie already.

01:34:43.000 Yeah, you're in it.

01:34:44.000 You've paid the money.

01:34:45.000 Look, I have a t-shirt.

01:34:46.000 Your movie.

01:34:47.000 I love it so much.

01:34:48.000 I'm wearing the t-shirt.

01:34:49.000 The tracks mainframes look like the shirt.

01:34:51.000 You just look like Elizabeth.

01:34:52.000 Did it say Charlie's Angels on your shirt?

01:34:54.000 Yeah, the security camera.

01:34:56.000 You don't have access to the mirrors?

01:34:58.000 We're giving away our secrets.

01:35:01.000 For the second time.

01:35:02.000 We're watching this movie in a mirror, if in case you want.

01:35:06.000 Oh, during Turkey.

01:35:09.000 I can't imagine Turkey having a big grand.

01:35:11.000 By the way, Turkey wasn't invented in Turkey.

01:35:14.000 Chicken was.

01:35:15.000 Chicken was invented in Turkey.

01:35:20.000 Nothing is Scandinavian.

01:35:23.000 Once the target's on site, you make the grab.

01:35:26.000 What are we grabbing?

01:35:32.000 I'll take care of the transportation and prep for extraction.

01:35:35.000 Because I wrote the movie.

01:35:38.000 I'll be in the car again.

01:35:40.000 I'll be sitting in the fucking van again.

01:35:42.000 You know what's funny?

01:35:44.000 If you're an actress, you probably want to go, I don't want to become like that black robot giraffe.

01:35:49.000 So I really want to make my impact here, and I want to do a character like Bill Murray did.

01:35:55.000 But then you have the lesbian and Ghostbusters from SNL, who was just like, man, what's wrong here?

01:36:02.000 Putting her feet up all the time.

01:36:04.000 This is colorful.

01:36:05.000 Like eating a caterpillar for the reasons.

01:36:09.000 I'm sorry, you thought he was hot?

01:36:11.000 I don't know what hot is catching a fly and then putting it in her beer and then throwing it away.

01:36:15.000 What?

01:36:16.000 You're fucking breathing.

01:36:16.000 What are you doing?

01:36:17.000 But that's what Kristen Stewart basically is, but a less.

01:36:20.000 Well, she's actually dialed it back too much, so she only has like a tenth of a personality.

01:36:26.000 And she has the most personality in this movie.

01:36:28.000 She's got one of those personalities where it's like you're doing and acting that way, but there's so much pain behind all of it.

01:36:36.000 Yeah.

01:36:36.000 Let's resume them.

01:36:39.000 Charlie's Angel shirt.

01:36:40.000 It's all just a show.

01:36:42.000 That'd be a cool shirt for us to make.

01:36:44.000 Just these.

01:36:46.000 Say this ep is super popular.

01:36:47.000 Even if it's a fucking smoke show right now, by the way.

01:36:50.000 Who, the giraffe robot?

01:36:52.000 No, the nerd.

01:36:53.000 The Armenian nerd, whatever the hell she's supposed to be.

01:36:56.000 Oh.

01:36:57.000 Jane?

01:36:57.000 Good.

01:36:58.000 Good.

01:36:59.000 Elena?

01:37:00.000 Good.

01:37:02.000 But she has glasses in every scene.

01:37:02.000 Fuck.

01:37:04.000 I just missed the superfactor.

01:37:06.000 Better luck in the third run, I hope.

01:37:09.000 Tap of the Mernan.

01:37:12.000 Hey.

01:37:15.000 Um, Daddy Longlegs?

01:37:17.000 Oh no, that's my business partner.

01:37:19.000 The blue one?

01:37:21.000 The blue.

01:37:23.000 Seems nice to post time.

01:37:27.000 Anybody see anything?

01:37:29.000 Not yet.

01:37:33.000 Do her eyes have to look like they've been dropped in a fireplace?

01:37:40.000 Non-Gennari.

01:37:42.000 I don't care what his real name is, I'm gonna call him that from now on.

01:37:46.000 Nanginari.

01:37:48.000 Nangiani.

01:37:51.000 Nanginari.

01:37:55.000 Serious money?

01:37:56.000 Ones hundreds of horses.

01:37:58.000 Ones hundreds of...

01:37:59.000 Yeah.

01:38:00.000 We get it.

01:38:01.000 He's rich.

01:38:02.000 Is he the buyer?

01:38:04.000 I bought a bank off now.

01:38:06.000 Sabina!

01:38:07.000 Fine!

01:38:08.000 That's him!

01:38:09.000 Why, let's go!

01:38:12.000 Go just grab him and throw him in a paddy wagon.

01:38:14.000 Let's get out of here.

01:38:18.000 That's definitely him.

01:38:19.000 Sabina.

01:38:22.000 So this guy with this Rubik's Cube is trying to sell it to some fucking corrupt chic.

01:38:28.000 A public race horse.

01:38:32.000 Yeah.

01:38:34.000 Why wouldn't you just sell it?

01:38:36.000 Why would their sights have that logo?

01:38:38.000 Is that not just a distraction?

01:38:41.000 The sites have the logo?

01:38:44.000 When she looks...

01:38:44.000 Gracie?

01:38:45.000 Oh yeah!

01:38:46.000 God, they really got...

01:38:50.000 It's the assassin.

01:38:51.000 The greediest man in the world.

01:38:57.000 What assassin?

01:38:58.000 There's an assassin.

01:38:59.000 She's gonna go 30 feet.

01:39:01.000 She's taking a long shot.

01:39:03.000 Wait, the crosshairs would not be on the bottom.

01:39:06.000 Oh, she needs to.

01:39:10.000 Look, that was the anti-gun thing, too.

01:39:12.000 They don't use guns.

01:39:14.000 And that's why she hasn't killed that guy.

01:39:16.000 But she doesn't know how to shoot in accommodate for the fact that there's distance.

01:39:20.000 You have to.

01:39:22.000 zipline coming up I'm not listening to you, by the way.

01:39:36.000 It's people now.

01:39:38.000 Um, the assassin was the neck guy that we couldn't, that I couldn't hold my breath for.

01:39:46.000 We're chasing him.

01:39:49.000 The black guy comes back to life, that was it?

01:39:51.000 He goes back and do it.

01:39:54.000 No, that's...

01:39:57.000 The security guard is dead.

01:39:58.000 She looks great.

01:40:00.000 I'm not a green guy, but that Kelly Green, she has on a cute hat.

01:40:04.000 It's a fun look.

01:40:06.000 I love her with the long brown hair.

01:40:09.000 So she thought worse about that random security guard than the logic about this guy that's been treating her since then?

01:40:15.000 She looks really good.

01:40:20.000 Neither seem to give a flying fuck about either of those people.

01:40:24.000 The black chicks seem kind of annoying.

01:40:32.000 Whew, I did it.

01:40:35.000 My clothes are so pristine.

01:40:38.000 Good thing I was rolling on AstroTurf.

01:40:43.000 Christine, Christine.

01:40:45.000 Good job.

01:40:46.000 How did you?

01:40:47.000 I'm gonna do a good job, horses.

01:40:52.000 Can somebody please track this mobile?

01:40:55.000 The logo is on our on the van.

01:41:00.000 Hold on.

01:41:01.000 I was gonna say as a joke, it's tattooed on their foreheads, but it actually is literally tattooed on their necks.

01:41:07.000 It's actually on the van upside down.

01:41:09.000 Look.

01:41:10.000 Oh my god, it is.

01:41:12.000 It's just very subtle.

01:41:14.000 Look for the angry ambulance with the fucking stupid bitches logo on it.

01:41:18.000 Like a retarded idea in the ocean.

01:41:22.000 There's nothing out here but a rock quarry.

01:41:26.000 Where are the specs?

01:41:29.000 Bring up the specs.

01:41:31.000 Whatever the fuck specs are.

01:41:36.000 Touch them!

01:41:38.000 This place is industrial.

01:41:40.000 This is where men are.

01:41:42.000 We're not supposed to be here, but guess what?

01:41:45.000 We're better than men.

01:41:48.000 I'll circle until you signal.

01:41:50.000 The sale was out of it out here.

01:41:52.000 She's a freak.

01:41:52.000 Look at her.

01:41:54.000 She's a fucking praying mantis.

01:41:58.000 She is very tall.

01:41:59.000 Yeah, everybody's head is.

01:42:01.000 She is Barton Bailey.

01:42:03.000 Look at the Armenian girl.

01:42:05.000 She comes up to her actual tit.

01:42:09.000 Who is this tall hero?

01:42:13.000 I looked her up.

01:42:14.000 Her mother's a sh black chef and her dad is, I don't know, Andre the Giant.

01:42:20.000 And both of them are hideous, by the way.

01:42:21.000 How tall is she?

01:42:22.000 It's possible God really likes race mixing because she is obviously breathtakingly gorgeous.

01:42:29.000 But her mom is like a four.

01:42:31.000 6-2?

01:42:32.000 I don't...

01:42:33.000 No, I didn't look...

01:42:37.000 Weird enough, I looked up her parents.

01:42:39.000 She's actually squatting to be not as tall as that building right now.

01:42:43.000 She's actually squatting to be in a picture.

01:42:47.000 Every picture you see, she's like this.

01:42:50.000 She has to get into a building.

01:42:52.000 Just kick him in the head.

01:42:53.000 He's a man.

01:42:58.000 You have to hang that poster way higher.

01:43:01.000 MI6 spies are on calendars now?

01:43:05.000 No, I don't think that's her.

01:43:07.000 I think it was her.

01:43:09.000 I think it was her.

01:43:10.000 It looks like her.

01:43:15.000 If I was running MI6, I'd say, look, spies, you can't be supermodels and do calendars.

01:43:24.000 Oh, look at it.

01:43:27.000 That's murder.

01:43:30.000 We're literally garbage.

01:43:33.000 Throw us in the fucking There's a female security guy, and you throw her off a building into a pile of shit.

01:43:41.000 Fucking concept.

01:43:43.000 That was so miss.

01:43:46.000 That's a mebonic plague.

01:43:47.000 Lock this.

01:43:47.000 Let's go.

01:43:48.000 Not this.

01:43:48.000 No, I know.

01:43:49.000 Lock it.

01:43:50.000 All right.

01:43:53.000 I think things are about to pop off any minute.

01:43:55.000 I'm going to take a quick pace.

01:43:59.000 I'm gonna take a quick piss Okay, the gate is locked.

01:44:07.000 Only on our asset is on three stories.

01:44:08.000 Obviously, the people.

01:44:13.000 wait, didn't you just say we can't fuck with the mics?

01:44:19.000 And then you fucked up with the mic.

01:44:21.000 It's interesting he looks like Roger Stone.

01:44:25.000 It's conceivable that was on purpose.

01:44:31.000 Or maybe Tom Ford.

01:44:35.000 Bonfire of the faggotries.

01:44:38.000 Oh, he's here.

01:44:39.000 And if you think you're going to kill me before I can repeat you, doesn't he say?

01:44:44.000 Women sure love killing men.

01:44:46.000 You are.

01:44:47.000 I represent a liar who wishes to remain anonymous.

01:44:54.000 There's the Chinese guy from the beginning of the movie.

01:44:58.000 So Charlie's Angels failed.

01:45:00.000 They showed up.

01:45:02.000 They caught this guy when he was a small-time crook stealing from women and children's charity funds.

01:45:08.000 All they did was wrap a curtain around his face, make him slap himself.

01:45:13.000 Turns out they didn't go further than that.

01:45:16.000 They should have just shot him in the head, I guess.

01:45:16.000 They didn't pursue it.

01:45:19.000 Because here he is buying Wakanda juice, Wakanda cubes.

01:45:25.000 Look, it's the guy from the beginning.

01:45:26.000 Oh, shit.

01:45:28.000 Do you ever have genius ideas while you're buzzing?

01:45:31.000 Yeah, like to shake it.

01:45:33.000 No, I have this great idea where I play a buzz, like I have an older ego character, like a buzz because a buzz feed guy.

01:45:45.000 And he goes over your episodes, and he calls them things that are racist or sexist or whatever, so that a buzzbee or something.

01:45:54.000 And then you make a video responding to that.

01:45:58.000 And it does back and forth between the scripture and the guy who's trying to get you on something like that.

01:46:02.000 He said this.

01:46:06.000 You should probably have a glass of water.

01:46:09.000 Why?

01:46:10.000 Because you guys are not going to be able to do it.

01:46:13.000 It hasn't been recorded.

01:46:14.000 They have the enzymes.

01:46:15.000 Wait, your entire audio is never recorded?

01:46:18.000 No, no, no.

01:46:19.000 It disconnected after I went to the bathroom.

01:46:21.000 But now it's recorded.

01:46:22.000 Oh.

01:46:22.000 Well, that's okay.

01:46:23.000 Because Ryan just had a terrible idea.

01:46:25.000 It was a good idea.

01:46:26.000 So I play this BuzzFeed character.

01:46:28.000 Shhh.

01:46:28.000 Of course.

01:46:30.000 Guys, that's Calico.

01:46:33.000 There we go.

01:46:36.000 There we go.

01:46:37.000 What is he, Australian now?

01:46:40.000 COD.

01:46:42.000 Plus wire transfer.

01:46:46.000 Look how much money that is.

01:46:48.000 It's like 100 grand.

01:46:50.000 Why would he never fix his teeth?

01:46:55.000 The device is worth $13 trillion.

01:46:59.000 And you just sold it to someone illegally, jeopardizing the whole project for $10,000.

01:47:04.000 $100,000.

01:47:05.000 But my employer insists.

01:47:07.000 So yes.

01:47:09.000 Didn't they get that guy?

01:47:13.000 Will they let him go?

01:47:16.000 No, no, no.

01:47:17.000 I gave you the report.

01:47:21.000 It's all outlined in there.

01:47:22.000 So that's...

01:47:24.000 that was never part of the deal well mr flemington it is now look it's a complicated process it's a difficult situation Oh, first death of the movie.

01:47:42.000 That wasn't by the Angels accidentally.

01:47:42.000 What?

01:47:44.000 That was not part of the plan, Mr. Hodak.

01:47:48.000 Damn it!

01:47:50.000 Who cares?

01:47:52.000 Yeah, and really, though, it's not like it's drugs where there's going to be more.

01:47:56.000 You know?

01:47:57.000 They caught the rice ball and then they let him go.

01:48:00.000 That's what I'm screaming.

01:48:02.000 How effective is that?

01:48:02.000 Wait, was that not recorded?

01:48:05.000 I guess it was.

01:48:06.000 Yeah, you said that?

01:48:07.000 Oh, I think you were pissing.

01:48:07.000 Yeah.

01:48:10.000 I can't see her anywhere.

01:48:14.000 You're clearly incompetent, Charlie's Angels.

01:48:17.000 The guy that you curtain slapped is the main bad guy.

01:48:21.000 You worked that hard.

01:48:22.000 You had to jerk him off with your feet to what?

01:48:25.000 Let him go?

01:48:26.000 Look at the hell.

01:48:27.000 You had him by the balls.

01:48:30.000 By your feet.

01:48:32.000 You had his balls in the palm of your foot.

01:48:36.000 And you let him go, you fucking loser.

01:48:39.000 You're fired.

01:48:42.000 You know what would be funny if we did a reboot of this, but it was a male Charlie's Angels?

01:48:46.000 And they were just awesome.

01:48:47.000 Charles Angels?

01:48:49.000 Charles Angels.

01:48:52.000 Doesn't make any sense.

01:48:53.000 No, it doesn't.

01:48:54.000 Because Charlie is still a fancy angel.

01:48:56.000 Charlie was always angel.

01:49:01.000 Charlie's dudes.

01:49:05.000 charlie saint Oh, let me guess.

01:49:17.000 She thinks she's useless.

01:49:18.000 She's a dumb nerd, right?

01:49:20.000 She's a wimp.

01:49:20.000 Whatever.

01:49:21.000 And then all of a sudden, she gets the last minute scene and she's like, what the fuck?

01:49:28.000 You are a Charlie Tangle now.

01:49:30.000 We can do a sequel, but we'll make even less money.

01:49:32.000 Here's another thing about women.

01:49:34.000 I don't think they respect music to a level that men do.

01:49:37.000 Like, wouldn't you throw in P.O.D.'s Here Comes the Boom or something?

01:49:40.000 Yeah, this is just like...

01:49:42.000 Yeah.

01:49:53.000 They blow the budget, and then they go, we need music.

01:49:56.000 Now, what was smarter with Charlie's Angels in 2000 is they had all these great songs that were popping the sound like, wake the fuck up!

01:50:06.000 I forget that guy's name.

01:50:10.000 They had like, Smack My Bitch Up.

01:50:13.000 Oh, did they?

01:50:14.000 I'm pretty sure they did.

01:50:15.000 Yeah.

01:50:16.000 There's that thing.

01:50:17.000 Mary Moore, I think she produced it.

01:50:19.000 She was smart enough to put money aside for some great hits that also made it fun.

01:50:24.000 Yeah, this is like they stole the soundtrack from Night School with Kevin Hart.

01:50:27.000 Do, do, do.

01:50:30.000 Wait up, help me!

01:50:31.000 Dun, dun, dun.

01:50:38.000 I bet the guy who did this soundtrack got paid $8,000.

01:50:41.000 And he just sat next to a keyboard and just went.

01:50:47.000 Orchestra hit, orchestra hit.

01:50:49.000 I have dreamed of this moment since then.

01:50:52.000 Except your hair was lumber.

01:50:54.000 But I like this too.

01:50:55.000 This is great.

01:50:55.000 Yeah, by the way, Asian guy, you won.

01:50:58.000 Yeah.

01:50:59.000 Are you going to let me go again?

01:51:01.000 Because this is pretty cool.

01:51:02.000 Don't even think about it.

01:51:03.000 You want to run away with me?

01:51:05.000 God, you're so desperate.

01:51:06.000 It's not.

01:51:07.000 Yeah, you should say desperate.

01:51:08.000 Hopefully I'm not.

01:51:16.000 Actually, I just beat you again.

01:51:19.000 And I'm an Asian dude.

01:51:21.000 Aren't you the desperate one jerking me up in the game and chasing me all the way?

01:51:25.000 Look, this is the scene I was talking about.

01:51:27.000 She's freaked.

01:51:28.000 Look, I am actually an engine.

01:51:31.000 It doesn't have the correct drama, it should.

01:51:33.000 Right.

01:51:36.000 Bring Mantis to the rescue!

01:51:40.000 Look at her!

01:51:42.000 She's a fucking spider!

01:51:46.000 you don't shave your armpits well By the way, this is just one buyer of your stupid Rubik's Cube.

01:52:00.000 The company's still corrupt.

01:52:02.000 Right.

01:52:05.000 Give me the geis!

01:52:07.000 Hit her right in the balls.

01:52:13.000 Uh-oh, you're gonna get processed.

01:52:17.000 Hold on, I have a computer from the 70s.

01:52:19.000 No, wait, no!

01:52:21.000 Slugger!

01:52:23.000 Slugger!

01:52:23.000 No!

01:52:25.000 Oh, no.

01:52:27.000 They're in the rock processing machine.

01:52:33.000 And there's more rocks coming down.

01:52:38.000 The computer tells her now she knows about algorithmic sensors.

01:52:44.000 Fucking rock grinders.

01:52:46.000 Get to the side.

01:52:48.000 Oh, thanks for telling me that girl who's on the computer miles away.

01:52:52.000 Meanwhile, I'm seeing the rocks in the middle being swallowed up and the ones on the sides are worse.

01:52:58.000 Actually, as I'm joking around, I am feeling a sense of tension.

01:53:02.000 Come on.

01:53:04.000 There's 0% chance that anything will go wrong.

01:53:07.000 It's got a good grip.

01:53:09.000 Imagine one of these angels died would be hilarious.

01:53:14.000 It would then be considered like a movie.

01:53:17.000 It would be normal.

01:53:23.000 Are they trying to do a Star Wars shout out yet?

01:53:25.000 What kind of computer There's like the compressed camera.

01:53:29.000 Wasn't Luke wearing a similar outfit when he was getting compressed in that garbage chip?

01:53:35.000 Oh, yes.

01:53:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:38.000 Well, he was wearing a strong trooper outfit.

01:53:42.000 And that was white?

01:53:44.000 Again with the balls!

01:53:44.000 Yes.

01:53:46.000 That's the second guy in this scene.

01:53:49.000 We're supposed to enjoy that, by the way.

01:53:51.000 She can't even watch a guy go.

01:53:53.000 Criminal.

01:53:54.000 He's just criminal who took like 40 grand to show up to this thing.

01:53:58.000 Right.

01:53:58.000 He doesn't even know what he showed up to and we're supposed to enjoy him getting crunched at that.

01:54:01.000 Oh, it's the wrong side.

01:54:05.000 Oh.

01:54:09.000 Oh.

01:54:09.000 What?

01:54:10.000 She tried to put this like you get knocked out thing.

01:54:15.000 Oh, the thing she knocked herself out.

01:54:18.000 How do you knock yourself out?

01:54:19.000 She had like a little gel thing that's supposed to knock him out.

01:54:23.000 It was the wrong size.

01:54:24.000 Oh.

01:54:25.000 Was that the altoids?

01:54:27.000 Maybe.

01:54:28.000 Maybe.

01:54:30.000 Some sort of small thing.

01:54:31.000 Some cute little girls.

01:54:33.000 Brosley.

01:54:35.000 Where is Batsy?

01:54:35.000 I don't know.

01:54:42.000 Oh, time for another.

01:54:44.000 Time for some showers.

01:54:45.000 It's like the opposite of the shower.

01:54:46.000 They're all dead.

01:54:47.000 Is she in a Staten Island Fairy all of a sudden?

01:54:51.000 Reflect.

01:54:52.000 Crime thing.

01:54:53.000 That was terrible.

01:55:00.000 The message here is our girls are our future.

01:55:03.000 That's why I made this movie.

01:55:05.000 To show that they can be anything they want to be.

01:55:08.000 It's a future angel.

01:55:12.000 I'm going to tell you, like you told me.

01:55:17.000 This is the closest thing to a real song in the entire movie.

01:55:23.000 Girls have to know that they can be Charlie's angels and they can kick the shit out of Arm Stealers and make them slap themselves.

01:55:32.000 It's a real song.

01:55:33.000 It is?

01:55:34.000 It's pink.

01:55:35.000 I think it's pink.

01:55:40.000 And some local SoundCloud rappers.

01:55:42.000 I'm not really in to know that it's pink singing right now.

01:55:45.000 It could be pink.

01:55:46.000 There also could be a SoundCloud rapper.

01:55:53.000 Only going to pay for 45 seconds of the song.

01:55:59.000 Bosley?

01:56:00.000 I thought he was dead.

01:56:02.000 Oh, the Patrick Swayze one?

01:56:03.000 But he retired.

01:56:04.000 Patrick Swayze.

01:56:05.000 Patrick Stewart.

01:56:09.000 We've got to kick some old guys in the balls.

01:56:11.000 You got the phone?

01:56:18.000 You grabbing beers?

01:56:19.000 I don't think you have the enzymes.

01:56:22.000 You grabbing the beer?

01:56:23.000 In fact, if I pissed in your mouth, it would probably be a normal amount of alcohol.

01:56:30.000 It would be an improvement.

01:56:31.000 It was her idea to steal Philistia from the lab.

01:56:34.000 Exactly.

01:56:35.000 But Fleming Beater did it.

01:56:37.000 It's been a mission the entire time to get this thing back, get this thing back, and it just keeps slipping us.

01:56:42.000 We're better than that.

01:56:43.000 It's her.

01:56:44.000 What is there?

01:56:46.000 Philistia's gone.

01:56:48.000 And so is she.

01:56:50.000 Ooh.

01:56:51.000 Johnny said he represented somebody.

01:56:53.000 What if it was?

01:57:01.000 They're getting a call from Charlie.

01:57:04.000 Hello, girls!

01:57:05.000 Hello?

01:57:09.000 Charlie's in block.

01:57:11.000 You're in great danger.

01:57:12.000 Get out of there now!

01:57:14.000 Can I?

01:57:16.000 Oh.

01:57:18.000 Old white Bosley.

01:57:23.000 He tried to warn them.

01:57:27.000 Being bombed doesn't look so bad.

01:57:29.000 Why is Ted Kaczynski in jail?

01:57:31.000 You just get, you just cough and you can't hear very well for a bit.

01:57:34.000 bet you got that ringing Is this the denu mom?

01:57:51.000 So Elizabeth Banks betrayed them.

01:58:00.000 Who shot Elizabeth Banks?

01:58:03.000 Baby Albino Baby President.

01:58:05.000 Bosley did.

01:58:11.000 By the way, Elizabeth Banks, you're the director.

01:58:13.000 So if some old British guy goes, You can say cut and say do it again.

01:58:20.000 I know you're much more accomplished than I am.

01:58:22.000 But let's do it a little smaller.

01:58:24.000 That's a little big.

01:58:25.000 Give me less.

01:58:26.000 Give me a little less.

01:58:28.000 little less PS.

01:58:40.000 Oh my god, it blew my legs off.

01:58:42.000 I'm only six feet tall.

01:58:49.000 Finally.

01:58:50.000 I won't have to bend when I go into doorways.

01:58:52.000 Zabina!

01:58:59.000 Really?

01:59:00.000 Zabina!

01:59:05.000 Zabina!

01:59:07.000 She'll be okay.

01:59:08.000 Just pick her up and cry over her.

01:59:12.000 Give her a shower.

01:59:13.000 And then just when you give up, she'll go Oh no, she's in a coma.

01:59:24.000 She means a lot to you.

01:59:25.000 We had a new friend.

01:59:27.000 I think.

01:59:33.000 We're back to that weird Muslim chip who was in here once.

01:59:36.000 I don't know what her role is.

01:59:40.000 She got them into a Kentucky derby in Turkey?

01:59:43.000 She got them into a hijab?

01:59:46.000 Thanks.

01:59:47.000 I already got a job.

01:59:53.000 Oh, only emotion in the entire film.

01:59:55.000 Do they not have like a thing that goes beep, beep, when somebody's alive or dead?

02:00:01.000 No, she's not in.

02:00:03.000 No, I think she's at the lady's house.

02:00:05.000 Mmm.

02:00:06.000 I'm not crying.

02:00:07.000 I'm hungry.

02:00:08.000 I'm not crying.

02:00:10.000 Well, you are.

02:00:12.000 That's...

02:00:13.000 That's...

02:00:14.000 I can't find out.

02:00:17.000 I'm crying.

02:00:19.000 You can't find out.

02:00:21.000 I think that you...

02:00:23.000 ...care about me.

02:00:24.000 Why?

02:00:26.000 Because you're a shitty actress and you're like a robot this whole movie.

02:00:34.000 I can be really annoying most of the time.

02:00:41.000 It's funny how you can kind of see what the scene wants to be.

02:00:45.000 Yeah, in a good movie.

02:00:46.000 Like you're supposed to be crying right now and going, I guess so.

02:00:51.000 Yeah, you are a tiny bit annoying.

02:00:56.000 If you didn't throw your annoyingness down the audience's throat, maybe you would be like, yeah.

02:01:00.000 I wouldn't give a shit whether you lived or died.

02:01:02.000 So I got lucky.

02:01:04.000 Yeah.

02:01:07.000 But also because you convinced me I don't have to do everything by myself.

02:01:12.000 It's not I can be annoying, it's I can't be anything else but annoying.

02:01:16.000 You owe me an explanation.

02:01:20.000 This is not Brazil.

02:01:22.000 I brought supplies.

02:01:24.000 Home and much away probably likes.

02:01:26.000 And the best part, I brought a friend.

02:01:30.000 You're acting.

02:01:32.000 I'm not the mole.

02:01:33.000 Then why are you ARPAC?

02:01:35.000 I just realized something.

02:01:36.000 This movie sucks so bad.

02:01:38.000 I know it reeks.

02:01:39.000 This guy is Elizabeth Banks.

02:01:42.000 It's a representation of Elizabeth Banks like massage therapist.

02:01:46.000 Yoga therapist guy.

02:01:48.000 And he doesn't just do yoga with her.

02:01:52.000 He's a genius.

02:01:53.000 Yes.

02:01:54.000 Hey, Maurizio, you're in the movie.

02:01:57.000 What are you talking about, girl?

02:01:58.000 You're crazy.

02:02:00.000 You're in the movie.

02:02:01.000 You're fucking crazy.

02:02:03.000 And then he saw the movie and he goes, oh my God, he's like me, but way hotter.

02:02:08.000 Thank you so much.

02:02:10.000 I was worried you were going to make me fat.

02:02:11.000 Honestly, that's how I see it.

02:02:12.000 Is she like, no, no, no.

02:02:14.000 You're not fat.

02:02:14.000 I think he's uglier than you.

02:02:16.000 You're out of your freaking mind.

02:02:18.000 They both cried together.

02:02:20.000 You think so?

02:02:21.000 Yeah, because he started out just doing yoga and he was a fitness instructor.

02:02:26.000 And then he started bringing by green juice shit like fucking.

02:02:30.000 And then he's like, I make your muffins that are baked with zero flour, sugar, or anything that's in muffins.

02:02:37.000 It's just, it's called a sh piece of shit.

02:02:40.000 Yeah.

02:02:42.000 The thing is, she looks at him as a shaman because he speaks very simply.

02:02:46.000 He's like, sometimes things are hot, but you have to be strong.

02:02:50.000 She's like, he just gets it.

02:02:52.000 And he's gay, which is why the husband puts up with him.

02:02:55.000 But these celebrities live secluded lives.

02:02:58.000 Are you sure you want to be doing that?

02:03:07.000 You are.

02:03:08.000 Charlie's Angels t-shirts available at censor.tv.

02:03:16.000 She can call me right after that.

02:03:20.000 Okay, keep your bruises.

02:03:22.000 So then who?

02:03:25.000 Make yourself at home.

02:03:26.000 Pinky animal.

02:03:30.000 I had some clothes turned up.

02:03:32.000 Take your pic.

02:03:35.000 The white guy was the bad guy for a change.

02:03:39.000 Get off your fucking phone.

02:03:40.000 I thought you were in airport mode.

02:03:41.000 I said to make sure.

02:03:42.000 Have you heard from Jane Zapina?

02:03:44.000 And then you went and did some texting?

02:03:47.000 Well, I told Ray.

02:03:48.000 Curiosity of a cat.

02:03:51.000 Look at this.

02:03:52.000 Did you miss this?

02:03:53.000 Hydrick Stewart's bad.

02:03:55.000 Yes.

02:03:56.000 Just trying to understand my situation.

02:03:58.000 Did you wait?

02:03:58.000 I wanted an audience with Mr. Braw to discuss Kalisto.

02:04:01.000 Well, soon you'll have one.

02:04:04.000 But Kalisto's been stolen now, so I...

02:04:08.000 Callisto's the name of the music.

02:04:18.000 By the way, if you want to kill her, just hit her in the head with a baseball bat.

02:04:22.000 And do it before she needs to hire that chief assassin in the universe and take her to your lair.

02:04:28.000 And you failed bombing them?

02:04:29.000 Why not take her by surprise when she trusts you and then just shoot her?

02:04:33.000 After you shot Elizabeth Banks, just pop her in the head.

02:04:36.000 Right.

02:04:37.000 Is this more Batman shit of hanging him over a shark tank?

02:04:45.000 Oh god, this is her moment.

02:04:47.000 I'm actually awesome.

02:04:49.000 I want wind in my hair.

02:04:50.000 Stat.

02:04:51.000 Believe it or not, the person who wrote the movie is awesome.

02:04:58.000 And that's why one of your tits got so dirty.

02:05:02.000 I had no trouble believing it was me.

02:05:04.000 You heard that?

02:05:06.000 Australian Johnny.

02:05:07.000 It's so gross, too.

02:05:08.000 Australian Johnny.

02:05:09.000 Her tits got so dirty.

02:05:12.000 That she gets killed, where she gets the sympathetic, oh my god, no, she's dead.

02:05:17.000 She gets that.

02:05:18.000 She gets the she's the bad guy.

02:05:20.000 She gets the oh no, she's the good guy.

02:05:23.000 The only thing she hasn't done is a few fucking roundhouse kicks in a sex scene.

02:05:27.000 That's about it.

02:05:28.000 No love interest.

02:05:32.000 He's using us to date criminals now?

02:05:34.000 Johnny, Mr. Hodak, an assassin, they work for Buzzley.

02:05:34.000 Yeah.

02:05:39.000 He always seemed like kind of a weirdo.

02:05:41.000 Freaky.

02:05:43.000 English.

02:05:45.000 So Bosley has Elena.

02:05:47.000 Okay.

02:05:47.000 Do we know where?

02:05:48.000 What's Elena?

02:05:49.000 There's a tracker's.

02:05:50.000 What's Buzzley's motive?

02:05:51.000 Money, I guess?

02:05:52.000 You have a lot of litter jackets at your apartment.

02:05:54.000 See, I told you it was borrowing a not take.

02:05:57.000 Alexander Brock is hosting a party at his compound.

02:05:57.000 Shh.

02:06:00.000 Elena's there.

02:06:02.000 Wow.

02:06:02.000 Oh, God.

02:06:03.000 Seamless transition.

02:06:04.000 I mean, that.

02:06:05.000 Hey, Alexander Brock is the guy who invented the Wakanda Rubik's Cube.

02:06:09.000 Isn't he kind of stressed out right now?

02:06:11.000 This is his coronavirus.

02:06:13.000 It's been stolen.

02:06:14.000 The security guard died, remember?

02:06:17.000 Someone came into your head office.

02:06:20.000 And now he's throwing a little smell.

02:06:21.000 Whatever.

02:06:22.000 It's a movie.

02:06:23.000 Well, I would not worry about it.

02:06:26.000 I'm going to have a fucking party.

02:06:28.000 No, Ben Applett is.

02:06:30.000 I mean, is he?

02:06:35.000 Inside Hollywood Joe.

02:06:36.000 It's an old movie.

02:06:38.000 How old am I?

02:06:39.000 What?

02:06:39.000 That has nothing to do with it.

02:06:40.000 I don't have your references.

02:06:41.000 There are film buffs of all ages.

02:06:44.000 Let's go get all go.

02:06:45.000 That's her Judd Appatel riffing moment?

02:06:48.000 You're going to dress her up before you kill her?

02:06:48.000 What?

02:06:50.000 That was her Judd Appatel like riffing.

02:06:54.000 Yeah.

02:06:55.000 Put on this dog collar.

02:06:57.000 We're going to kill you over the course of three weeks.

02:07:00.000 We're Aztecs.

02:07:03.000 We're going to give you the same moment as Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies, but without the lighting.

02:07:10.000 And the scene's going to suck.

02:07:13.000 That's.

02:07:16.000 Whoa, look, she's got balls now.

02:07:22.000 What are the chances?

02:07:23.000 No, no.

02:07:24.000 There's an entire career estimating the talents of women.

02:07:29.000 And you, my dear?

02:07:32.000 I'm marvelous at the cloud.

02:07:37.000 By the way, I don't know if you know a lot of contractors, but I'm building an office for myself.

02:07:45.000 And I want behind me these sort of vertical slats of cedar stained.

02:07:52.000 But in between every four slats or so, I want just a normal neon light, like you'd have in a dentist's office on the drop ceiling.

02:08:01.000 But I want that vertical with the slats.

02:08:04.000 So when people look at me, they see these tubes, these tubes of light staring back at them.

02:08:11.000 So they can't actually see me very well.

02:08:13.000 Sort of like you right now with this light in your face.

02:08:18.000 I guess we could pull that off.

02:08:19.000 It's going to look like crap.

02:08:22.000 It's my office.

02:08:23.000 They no longer work for the Townsend Agency.

02:08:25.000 Oh, like that?

02:08:27.000 They will also be incredibly distracting.

02:08:30.000 Hey, are they off-center?

02:08:32.000 Did you see that movie script I sent you?

02:08:34.000 Like, the imagined?

02:08:35.000 Are they off-center?

02:08:37.000 Oh, yeah.

02:08:38.000 There's no rhyme or reason for them.

02:08:41.000 I want to talk to you about capital gains tax.

02:08:45.000 So if you take out your money now, I'm trying to talk to you about something in your life.

02:08:51.000 Turn what off?

02:08:53.000 Turn off my skepticism.

02:08:56.000 how to hack this and reprogram root access to me.

02:09:01.000 You thought Flannery could do it?

02:09:05.000 He always had a habit of claiming credit he didn't deserve.

02:09:08.000 How long would it take?

02:09:09.000 Forever.

02:09:10.000 I'm not touching it.

02:09:14.000 You think you have a choice?

02:09:16.000 Yeah, it's adorable.

02:09:18.000 I said, love.

02:09:19.000 I said, love.

02:09:29.000 You've been studying.

02:09:32.000 Wait, what is she?

02:09:34.000 A barracuda?

02:09:36.000 You have to either bite someone's ear off or nothing.

02:09:39.000 Or just nibble?

02:09:40.000 You can't just go, I need.

02:09:47.000 It's ridiculous.

02:09:48.000 Hey, what sea is there?

02:09:51.000 Someone's pouring a very hefty gin.

02:09:53.000 ...a very hefty gin.

02:09:54.000 ...a very hefty gin.

02:09:55.000 There's 36 security guards, contractor for the party.

02:09:58.000 What is this weird serpentine entrance they make?

02:10:01.000 Are they being chased by an alligator?

02:10:04.000 Wait, Why are they doing this?

02:10:06.000 Is that part of the dancing?

02:10:10.000 People just matched into the crowd.

02:10:16.000 And now when was rehearsal?

02:10:22.000 When was rehearsal?

02:10:23.000 When was rehearsal?

02:10:25.000 But now, all lines are on them.

02:10:28.000 And all it's going to take is someone remotely involved in the crime industry to go, I know that fucking giant frame mentis chick and the lesbian.

02:10:36.000 They beat the shit out of that my Asian boss.

02:10:40.000 And then jumped onto a fucking helicopter.

02:10:42.000 This is not the lair of the baddies.

02:10:43.000 By defying physics.

02:10:45.000 Do you want one?

02:10:48.000 I'm good.

02:10:51.000 I'm good.

02:10:52.000 I'm a robot.

02:10:53.000 We don't drink or eat.

02:10:57.000 I just look like Gene Simmons from behind.

02:11:03.000 Just some visual evidence that we were here.

02:11:08.000 Hopefully the bad guys don't see that like they're here.

02:11:14.000 Kristen Stewart walks like she's bodacious.

02:11:18.000 She has anemia.

02:11:20.000 Bulimia.

02:11:22.000 And that.

02:11:24.000 And she walks like she's bodacious.

02:11:28.000 This is the driver's floor.

02:11:29.000 I'm just really trying to be all this place.

02:11:31.000 It's huge.

02:11:32.000 I was looking for the bathroom.

02:11:34.000 Whoop!

02:11:35.000 Am I in the wrong place?

02:11:36.000 Now the white man down!

02:11:38.000 She needs a taser?

02:11:40.000 I thought she was like karate.

02:11:42.000 Actually, your little ninja pinch?

02:11:43.000 Right.

02:11:46.000 Why are you doing this?

02:11:49.000 Why are you doing this?

02:11:51.000 Why are you gay?

02:11:53.000 Why are you doing this?

02:11:57.000 You are doing this.

02:11:59.000 I'm not doing this.

02:12:01.000 Who says you are not doing this?

02:12:05.000 This is the most idiotic plot in the world.

02:12:07.000 Mr. Brock, oh my god.

02:12:09.000 Thank God, please help me.

02:12:10.000 What is she doing here?

02:12:13.000 What?

02:12:15.000 Oh, that was subtle.

02:12:20.000 Oh.

02:12:23.000 Can't he hack into this?

02:12:24.000 Mr. Brock is in a moment to sabotage.

02:12:27.000 This is a movie based on deception.

02:12:36.000 Everybody's professional.

02:12:37.000 Wait, wait, why can't he hack into this?

02:12:40.000 He invented it.

02:12:40.000 That's right.

02:12:44.000 Oh, he's got a quirk.

02:12:45.000 John's wigglyhead.

02:12:47.000 So if she died, he would have no way to get it.

02:12:49.000 He's a bobble-headed bad guy.

02:12:55.000 See, this is the problem with you, right?

02:12:56.000 You keep telling me shit I can't know.

02:12:59.000 What was his undeniability?

02:13:00.000 You ever heard of it?

02:13:02.000 You're a terrible employee.

02:13:04.000 Yeah, and who cares if people die, right?

02:13:06.000 As long as the investors are happy.

02:13:07.000 Grow up, little girl.

02:13:09.000 Callisto's about to change the world.

02:13:10.000 Just shoot her.

02:13:11.000 If you want to bake a cake, you're going to break a few eggs.

02:13:14.000 It's omelette.

02:13:16.000 If you're going to compare dead people to eggs, could you at least use the correct phrase?

02:13:19.000 Eggs are metaphor.

02:13:21.000 You have to make a Elizabeth Banks.

02:13:23.000 The term you look for is metaphor.

02:13:24.000 Take care of her.

02:13:25.000 Finish what you started.

02:13:27.000 You have to use eggs to bake a cake.

02:13:29.000 Egg mix requires eggs.

02:13:30.000 I mean, cake mix, yes, but the metaphor is a classic, and you got it wrong.

02:13:35.000 That's true.

02:13:36.000 Take a seat, Mr. Brock.

02:13:39.000 Uh-oh.

02:13:40.000 No.

02:13:41.000 Everyone's deceiving everyone here.

02:13:43.000 What the hell is happening here?

02:13:47.000 Oh, this is why the evil guy gets his from the other eviler guy.

02:13:54.000 All of you work for me.

02:13:58.000 We did.

02:13:59.000 You dumbass.

02:14:01.000 Why are you laughing?

02:14:02.000 You idiot.

02:14:04.000 They're stealing Callisto from you.

02:14:06.000 They're gonna use it as a weapon to assassinate people.

02:14:12.000 Why didn't you just sell it on the free market for billions?

02:14:16.000 The bad guy.

02:14:17.000 Possibly trillions.

02:14:20.000 I'm not happy about this pro-hunting motif, Elizabeth Banks.

02:14:26.000 What the fuck is going on now?

02:14:28.000 It's better to fake horns.

02:14:30.000 Well, we're spies, so let's guess.

02:14:34.000 Let me guess that works.

02:14:38.000 That blows up.

02:14:42.000 I'm confused.

02:14:43.000 You're crazy.

02:14:43.000 I'm not giving you my access.

02:14:46.000 You could alter the blockchain.

02:14:49.000 I mean, you could literally ruin everything.

02:14:53.000 Oh, the Falcon Grip.

02:14:57.000 The Vulcan Grip is a major part of this movie.

02:15:00.000 In fact, the more units there are out there for me to hack into, the better.

02:15:04.000 Don't do it.

02:15:05.000 They've killed everyone who knows about this except you and me.

02:15:08.000 Mr. Brock is complicit in the deaths of two people.

02:15:13.000 Ooh, pretty high stakes.

02:15:15.000 They just said two.

02:15:16.000 Two.

02:15:18.000 You know how many people die of spider bites every year?

02:15:20.000 Six.

02:15:22.000 This is the world.

02:15:22.000 You might as well have a spider in this movie.

02:15:25.000 This is a world-changing device.

02:15:27.000 This arachnoid has killed over six people this year.

02:15:34.000 Wow.

02:15:42.000 Yes.

02:15:43.000 But he's ashamed of that song?

02:15:44.000 They paid for a ringtone version of...

02:15:46.000 Oh great, it's, uh, it's an access of that on my personal safe.

02:15:50.000 You're up, my dear.

02:15:54.000 Got out.

02:15:59.000 Oh, I get it.

02:16:00.000 That's actually another good scene.

02:16:02.000 We have two good scenes now.

02:16:03.000 One was that you're already part of this dummy, and the other was going boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop on a safe to get someone to come up.

02:16:10.000 Oh gosh.

02:16:15.000 Oh, that's the hunk.

02:16:16.000 I'm...

02:16:18.000 you...

02:16:18.000 heathomassin'my Louis XIV?

02:16:20.000 What is wrong with you?

02:16:23.000 No sense of humor, that's your problem.

02:16:25.000 No, that's Elizabeth.

02:16:26.000 Thanks.

02:16:27.000 Couldn't they just kill her and use her thumbprint?

02:16:29.000 Yeah, sounds good to me.

02:16:30.000 It would still have like the heat in it.

02:16:33.000 Or just like, if you want her to do whatever you want, just with shearing scissors, take off one of her fingers.

02:16:38.000 Right.

02:16:40.000 We've been through this before.

02:16:42.000 But wait, who was that on the ground?

02:16:44.000 The hunk from the chemistry?

02:16:45.000 I think so.

02:16:47.000 The one that she liked a little bit.

02:16:49.000 But she didn't know him.

02:16:51.000 The praying mantis knew him.

02:16:59.000 Is it legal for us to do this, by the way?

02:17:01.000 I don't know.

02:17:03.000 I mean, we're obfuscating the image, so it's not like you're getting the movie.

02:17:10.000 Like, if you projected this and charged movie tickets at a theater, they'd go, that's not Charlie's Angels.

02:17:17.000 There's two fucking ugly guys in it.

02:17:22.000 I don't think there's bootlegging, because we're doing a really bad job presenting.

02:17:25.000 I would love to fight these two girls, these two actresses in real life.

02:17:29.000 Besides the really tall one.

02:17:30.000 With headgear and everything on.

02:17:31.000 *Dramatic music*

02:17:38.000 Switching to access.

02:17:40.000 Name it the print.

02:17:44.000 John Baldwin.

02:17:45.000 Wait a minute, there's two of you and a fucking 90-year-old man.

02:17:51.000 The guards all left.

02:17:52.000 I'll have to check, of course, that it's actually working.

02:17:55.000 Cut us off.

02:17:57.000 Short range, power burst.

02:17:59.000 No overall.

02:18:00.000 What the hell are you doing?

02:18:02.000 He will kill us!

02:18:03.000 Don't be daft, it will kill her!

02:18:05.000 And, uh, what's his name?

02:18:08.000 Not us.

02:18:09.000 You're gonna be downstairs enjoying your party.

02:18:12.000 Come on.

02:18:13.000 You want me to go back down and watch?

02:18:15.000 Protect everything fine!

02:18:16.000 Everything is fine!

02:18:18.000 You're gonna disrupt the power industry.

02:18:22.000 Oh, you.

02:18:27.000 This is kind of like an anti-environmentalist thing.

02:18:30.000 To disrupt the power industry is evil now?

02:18:34.000 Hmm.

02:18:35.000 What's the matter with her?

02:18:37.000 Oh, yeah, right.

02:18:39.000 Why is she so powerless?

02:18:44.000 Wait, we never were told that's her boyfriend.

02:18:47.000 Right.

02:18:48.000 Just a cute guy in the lab that she liked.

02:18:52.000 I didn't really got you.

02:18:54.000 Of course I got it.

02:18:57.000 That was the one the mantis liked.

02:19:00.000 Am I stupid?

02:19:05.000 I asked if I'm stupid and Ryan gets so bored he starts yawning.

02:19:11.000 No, it really was like the black chick that went to go hack the stuff in that laboratory saw that guy.

02:19:17.000 I don't think they've ever been.

02:19:18.000 Oh, wait a minute.

02:19:20.000 No, he was next to her when she was doing that.

02:19:23.000 It's tricky, tricky, tricky.

02:19:26.000 And he was like, shh.

02:19:29.000 Oh.

02:19:29.000 At the very, very, very beginning.

02:19:31.000 That's their entire relationship.

02:19:32.000 Oh, gotcha.

02:19:33.000 Right.

02:19:33.000 They were at that campfire.

02:19:34.000 Yeah.

02:19:35.000 Wow.

02:19:35.000 Campfire?

02:19:36.000 No, no, no.

02:19:37.000 He was doing the announcements.

02:19:40.000 And then the guy came up and said that there was a fire.

02:19:42.000 She did a rap.

02:19:43.000 Yes.

02:19:44.000 Wow, I haven't seen a woman beat a guy this bad since fucking...

02:20:00.000 Fox?

02:20:02.000 Micah Fox?

02:20:03.000 No.

02:20:04.000 Kimbra Fox?

02:20:05.000 Micah Fox?

02:20:05.000 Yeah, something like that.

02:20:09.000 chung I know them all.

02:20:21.000 You got seven years?

02:20:23.000 I know them all.

02:20:28.000 This could have been so much better if it was a real song.

02:20:35.000 You see, they did like Skrillex for four seconds?

02:20:38.000 Yeah, but and then fuck it.

02:20:40.000 I gotta go back.

02:20:41.000 Doodle and doodle and doodle.

02:20:42.000 Ah.

02:20:43.000 Oh.

02:20:45.000 What is this happening?

02:20:53.000 Yay!

02:20:53.000 Wait, wait a minute.

02:20:55.000 He's already freaked out.

02:20:57.000 Wait, wait a minute.

02:20:57.000 He was already freaked out that there was a major coup at his party, and then he went back to his party, was having fun, sees someone gets impaled and goes, why is this happening?

02:21:10.000 In a normal world, you would see that.

02:21:11.000 Will you stop yawning?

02:21:14.000 You already had a nap to do that.

02:21:15.000 It's a bad movie.

02:21:16.000 It's not even like I can't.

02:21:18.000 I don't even know where it's going to go.

02:21:19.000 I can't pretend.

02:21:20.000 All of a sudden, he's acting surprised.

02:21:22.000 If that was really you, and your entire thing that would be infiltrated, when that guy fell and died, you'd go like...

02:21:32.000 This is so fucked up.

02:21:34.000 I would pretend I didn't see it and I'd be like, Jesus.

02:21:36.000 It would be like someone fainting at a funeral.

02:21:38.000 Like, you'd already go, oh, great.

02:21:40.000 This is more shit.

02:21:42.000 Yeah, that didn't raise the stakes.

02:21:43.000 That you were just robbed of everything.

02:21:46.000 You knew that hacker was dying and her boyfriend.

02:21:49.000 And somebody that you just knew blew up.

02:21:51.000 Look, they have shit on our face, like we have shit on our face.

02:21:58.000 Old man versus young lady.

02:21:59.000 This is a thrilling situation.

02:22:00.000 So wait a minute.

02:22:01.000 Does this mean if he's corrupt that Charlie's Angels has always been corrupt?

02:22:06.000 And if that's true, she just ruined the entire fucking franchise.

02:22:12.000 well.

02:22:12.000 Yeah.

02:22:12.000 Like all the 70s shows, Lucy Liu, it's all been part of Patrick Swayze's, Patrick Stewart's evil plan.

02:22:19.000 Killer.

02:22:20.000 Send the love.

02:22:27.000 What?

02:22:29.000 That's a bubonic plague altoids.

02:22:35.000 This is the ebonic plague, motherfucker.

02:22:41.000 What?

02:22:42.000 It's coronavirus.

02:22:46.000 She licked a bunch of toilet seats and then kissed everyone at the party.

02:22:51.000 Oh, the altoids.

02:22:53.000 Those were all.

02:22:58.000 So no bad guy said, no, I'm good.

02:23:00.000 They all took an altoid?

02:23:01.000 Oh, that's the one at the beginning who gave her the card.

02:23:03.000 Thank you, Louie.

02:23:07.000 So these angels are everywhere.

02:23:13.000 Women who kick ass are everywhere.

02:23:17.000 And we were.

02:23:19.000 The guys are devils.

02:23:23.000 Look, now he's free to go.

02:23:25.000 Wait, wait.

02:23:26.000 He's with her.

02:23:31.000 No, I don't think he is.

02:23:33.000 He's a good guy.

02:23:36.000 It's weird that he looks the way he does.

02:23:38.000 What did you expect me to do?

02:23:40.000 Take up God, Nathan.

02:23:43.000 You thought you made us, we made you.

02:23:45.000 You trusted your hand.

02:23:49.000 I was right in the mouth of a speech.

02:23:51.000 Sorry.

02:23:52.000 Super clean, angels.

02:23:57.000 I didn't want to hear the info.

02:23:58.000 I wanted to revenge and retaliate and contribute to the page.

02:24:03.000 Yeah, the good guy, the Asian dude.

02:24:08.000 I don't care why he's a good guy, but I'll take your word for it.

02:24:10.000 I think he's turned into the city.

02:24:17.000 Yeah, you're in.

02:24:18.000 It's not that hard.

02:24:19.000 You don't have to be victorious.

02:24:35.000 Good, thank you, Baz.

02:24:37.000 Good, thank you, Baz.

02:24:38.000 I appreciate the call.

02:24:42.000 Oh, it's a woman that's been Charlie the whole time.

02:24:47.000 She just turned Charlie into.

02:24:49.000 This is just a pink wash.

02:24:51.000 It's a pink wash.

02:24:52.000 Didn't you get killed with a...

02:24:59.000 You know what the most fucked up sexist thing about?

02:25:01.000 Oh, wait, look.

02:25:03.000 It's the same guy.

02:25:05.000 That's the lab guy.

02:25:06.000 The guy at the beginning with Tricky Tricky Tricky is the chemist guy.

02:25:09.000 Oh, shit.

02:25:10.000 They both like him.

02:25:14.000 Oh, uh, yeah.

02:25:17.000 I think he finally got the boy.

02:25:20.000 Is that a pun?

02:25:21.000 Because you're in the hell?

02:25:24.000 Are you doing like a joke thing for the hands in there?

02:25:28.000 I hope not.

02:25:29.000 I mean, it's working.

02:25:30.000 That is what you do.

02:25:32.000 What's working?

02:25:32.000 Wait, a joke's supposed to be funny?

02:25:34.000 You got dumped by your boyfriend.

02:25:35.000 Right.

02:25:36.000 He went to the mantis.

02:25:37.000 I'll find you.

02:25:42.000 And they asked her, is that working, the joke thing?

02:25:44.000 And he's like, well, it's working if that's what you mean.

02:25:47.000 No, if it was working, you'd be laughing.

02:25:48.000 Because a joke.

02:25:52.000 Oh, look, outtakes right off the boot.

02:25:54.000 Welcome to the Townsend Agency.

02:25:56.000 Oh, that's one of the older angles.

02:25:58.000 Was that Farah Fossil?

02:26:00.000 No.

02:26:01.000 I think that was the one that no one talks about.

02:26:07.000 It's only one they could afford.

02:26:09.000 You lift it from under the last corner.

02:26:11.000 You gotta trust it.

02:26:12.000 So I guess.

02:26:15.000 That's some racing car lady or maybe an angel?

02:26:18.000 Another former angel.

02:26:20.000 Now this is gonna be the Farrah Faucet, right?

02:26:23.000 Farrah Faucet died of colon cancer.

02:26:26.000 Oh.

02:26:26.000 That's Ronda Rousey.

02:26:28.000 No fear.

02:26:29.000 Fight through the pain.

02:26:30.000 Focus.

02:26:32.000 Try to left 90 seconds this time.

02:26:35.000 90 seconds is a long fucking time to fight Ronda Rousey.

02:26:39.000 I want three.

02:26:40.000 And why is she doing karate all of a sudden?

02:26:42.000 Isn't it like not even her thing?

02:26:44.000 Yes.

02:26:44.000 We must lift the wires in the correct order.

02:26:49.000 Laverne Cox.

02:26:50.000 RuPaul.

02:26:52.000 No, it's Laverne Cox retired.

02:26:55.000 But oh, you're saying just like RuPaul.

02:26:57.000 Yeah.

02:26:57.000 I don't see a difference.

02:26:58.000 That's a dude, feminist.

02:27:00.000 That's a dude.

02:27:02.000 Why is this other angel taller than me?

02:27:04.000 *Loud voice* Austin, get up!

02:27:07.000 Let's go!

02:27:08.000 Ten seconds to jump!

02:27:10.000 Everybody up!

02:27:12.000 All this bullshit they have to do is like more proof of the absurdity of feminism.

02:27:19.000 You know how many women want to jump out of an airplane?

02:27:21.000 Yeah, because maybe one less than one percent.

02:27:25.000 If this was just something they do, this would not be an exciting scene.

02:27:31.000 I've jumped out of a plane.

02:27:38.000 Jump onto this mattress in our sound studio.

02:27:42.000 While dudes in pink sneakers actually do it.

02:27:46.000 Holy shit.

02:27:51.000 Oh, I saw this in the trailer and I thought, that's a cool way to begin a movie.

02:27:56.000 Because she jumps.

02:27:57.000 And she's like, now you're the only one.

02:27:59.000 And by the way, it's just irresponsible to have somebody go out without...

02:28:09.000 A flyer plane is not a dare.

02:28:11.000 You're supposed to do a tandem jump your first time.

02:28:18.000 Nailed it.

02:28:20.000 We killed a woman.

02:28:21.000 Because she didn't know how to fly a fucking plane, believe it or not.

02:28:25.000 Glad she didn't die.

02:28:27.000 She wasn't even pissed.

02:28:28.000 She was like, You know what's funny?

02:28:33.000 All of this shit they're doing now could have been a good movie.

02:28:35.000 Like, it would have been cool to see them.

02:28:37.000 This is the best.

02:28:38.000 Yeah, this feels the best.

02:28:40.000 This could have been them, like, getting to know each other and developing the characters.

02:28:44.000 We did this at the beginning, and we saw, like, the mantis have a personality.

02:28:48.000 This was like an unfunny parody of James Bond.

02:28:52.000 This was an unfunny parody of Charlie Mantis 2003.

02:28:57.000 Whatever that was.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 24, 2020

S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS [2020-03-24 - S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS]

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