Crowder and I discuss Lady Gaga's new album "Lady Saves the Day" and how she became a Christian. I also talk about how late night comedy sucks and how talentless late night hosts are.
Transcript
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00:02:11.000And then crack became nuts because all these porn stars, you know why they're either faking it or they're actually loving it because they're on meth.
00:02:20.000You're watching meth addicts get disgusting.
00:02:24.000So I'm guessing that's what happened to her.
00:02:27.000And she had a coming to Jesus moment where it was either continue down this road on the ocean or find God and get your life together.
00:02:38.000She found God and got her life together.
00:02:39.000Why does everyone shit on Christianity so much?
00:02:41.000Christianity, religion has caused more death.
00:02:45.000Yeah, Islam has caused a lot of death.
00:02:48.000Christianity saved a lot of fucking lives.
00:03:07.000And doesn't this show how much more skilled and professional and talented we are over Samantha B, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien?
00:04:00.000I kind of stole this point from Crowder, too.
00:04:03.000Crowder was saying, we can see now how much late night sucks, how talentless they are.
00:04:08.000They're getting emailed their jokes from their team.
00:04:12.000Isn't that proof you're not funny if 14 people have to write your jokes for you?
00:04:18.000Like, I guess Mariah Carey has everyone write her songs, but say you were a comedian on stage and you didn't write your jokes and 14 people busted their ass to make you funny and you would just read the jokes that they provided with a teleprompter.
00:04:40.000Let's see Stephen Colbert's stand-up just raw or Conan O'Brien.
00:04:44.000Actually, Conan O'Brien went on a comedy tour, didn't he?
00:04:47.000But still, that was likely pre-written jokes.
00:04:53.000Speaking of absolute fucking losers and sex addicts who need to turn their lives around, I was watching 600 Pound Life the other day, and I don't know.
00:05:03.000I think I might be losing interest in it.
00:05:04.000It's the same every episode, the same disgusting human beings.
00:05:09.000I saw one with this chick, Lupe, and her husband was cheating on her.
00:07:23.000I now have to get up off the couch with these two guys and walk over and like take a piss, take a shit, get up, get in the shower with two gavs, wash all three of our butts.
00:09:27.000And I find this show much more interesting because 600 Pound Life is really just the same asshole again and again and again with different body.
00:09:34.000And the body looks the same in every one.
00:10:14.000The reason we watch these shows is because they make us feel good about ourselves.
00:10:17.000Like when I saw this 60-year-old last night going to the train station to meet a Ukrainian who's definitely not there, I felt like the fawns.
00:10:25.000I was like, every time I go to meet a chick, she exists.
00:18:58.000We also have a fun guest on the show tonight, Survival Steve.
00:19:02.000I think he had to change his name from Survival Steve.
00:19:04.000I know him as Survival Steve, but I believe now he's called Wilderness Steve because a Minecraft character is called Survival Steve and it swallowed up all his Googles.
00:19:13.000You got to be pretty popular to compete with Minecraft.
00:19:17.000What about that shitty version you had that had the picture of it?
00:19:19.000No, we don't need other, Well, I guess you can show me Survival Steve.
00:19:29.000Because I wanted To ask him, I wanted to break down exactly what we should do if it's Armageddon and our house burns down and we're stuck in the forest fighting for our lives, unarmed.
00:19:41.000That's a little piece I added in, although you know we'd all be armed.
00:19:45.000And I want to prioritize, you know, hunting.
00:22:47.000You're a handsome guy with some muscles.
00:22:53.000And she's helping him deal with this relationship because he found out that the Russian is, believe it or not, still meeting other dudes, talking to other Americans online that are sending her shit.
00:27:25.000Maybe it's I don't know, but to stop this.
00:27:32.000By the way, just because she sent you an address to register on a bullshit cruise that she had no intention of going on doesn't mean she fucking lives there.
00:27:59.000She's probably like, I was interested in him slightly and I would love to go to America, but his IQ is to the point where I'm not sure that he could feed himself and make sandwich and remember to shower and wash.
00:31:14.000Remember yesterday when we had that woman who's making basically the equivalent of 220 grand a year and had $100 in the bank?
00:31:20.000So I think women naturally, when they're in these stupid professions like cam girl or Ukrainian whore, they just sort of go, you handle my, just give me like a nice purse once in a while.
00:31:45.000And he says he throws them a few bones and then he rakes in and he goes, oh, during this epidemic, I'm totally raking it in because everyone's at home jerking it and I'm fucking rocking out.
00:31:56.000And I give them a mere pittance, but I'm a millionaire.
00:34:35.000Now you want to, now you want to sit and have a beer and talk to people on your awesome boat and you're stuck with four, oh my God, chicks who are like, can you fucking believe this?
00:34:46.000And they're talking about hair and clothes and makeup and photographers and their favorite shows.
00:34:51.000And there you are going, please kill me now.
00:34:54.000Because with prostitutes, you can send them home.
00:36:34.000But I think it's important to figure out what exactly our priorities are if the world does end and we have nothing but the clothes on our back and the kids by our side.
00:37:50.000You've got to keep that positive mental attitude.
00:37:52.000Second thing you're going to have to do is create some kind of a shelter that's going to keep you guys warm at night and make sure that if it rains, you're not going to get wet.
00:37:58.000Because the only thing that sucks more than being freezing cold is being wet and freezing cold.
00:38:07.000So it's mostly pine trees, some poplars, the odd maple, spruce.
00:38:14.000Should our lean to just be like a wall like this?
00:38:18.000No, you actually want to close in the sides a little bit too if you can.
00:38:21.000So you want to make sure you have a lot of leaves, gather a bunch of leaves that you're going to have around you, and you want to make a bed out of all those leaves.
00:38:27.000And that's going to insulate you from the cold ground.
00:38:29.000So the bedding is going to be really important.
00:38:31.000And if you couldn't build a roof on your shelter, the bedding is going to be most important.
00:38:34.000You could just take all those leaves, make a huge pile of them, jump in it, and then cover yourself up.
00:38:39.000And what you're doing is you're creating different pockets of air that create different temperate zones and work like insulation.
00:38:44.000So that's going to help you stay a little bit warm.
00:38:45.000But if you could build a shelter, you would actually want like a lean-to-type shelter, or what we call a debris shelter, where you can have a roof that slants down.
00:38:53.000But then you also want walls on the sides, and you want to cover that with leaves as well.
00:38:57.000And if you can, somewhere a little bit distant, probably about Five yards away from your shelter because it's made out of a whole bunch of fire tender.
00:39:12.000Some people just stick two stakes in the ground over here and two stakes in the ground over here, and then they stack logs up inside those stakes and then tie them together top.
00:39:20.000And what that does is just creates a wooden firewall.
00:39:28.000Well, you would think so, but they actually stay pretty close.
00:39:30.000If it's going to be windy, you can put your layer of sticks and then you can put leaves and then you can put more branches and sticks on top of that.
00:39:38.000So that'll help to keep them on there.
00:39:40.000But it does kind of squish down the insulation a little bit.
00:39:42.000So if you can, use boughs of like pine trees is really good.
00:39:46.000Pine boughs are really good for your bedding as well.
00:39:48.000They're really springy and kind of comfortable to lay on.
00:39:54.000You would think they'd be a little spiky.
00:39:56.000On the tips of them, they're spiky, but when you're laying down and you got clothes on, which if it's 40s and going to be in the 30s, you're probably going to have some insulated clothes on anyways, you're not going to feel it.
00:40:20.000So your uprights hold your trusses that go down at an angle that creates your leaning area.
00:40:24.000And then across that leaning area, you want to put a whole bunch of sticks going across it to where you can put all the leaves on top and they won't just fall through.
00:41:03.000Even in ideal conditions, I trained with Cody Lundine out in Arizona, and he's a fire master.
00:41:10.000And he taught me the only guarantee is there's never a guarantee with fire by friction.
00:41:14.000If your hearth sweat, if there's any humidity in the air, if you drip some sweat off the tip of your nose because you're working really hard at getting that fire by friction set going, all that can put an end to it.
00:41:26.000And then a lot of people don't know the basics of building a regular fire, just a healthy, easy-to-light fire that will continue to burn and maintain itself.
00:41:35.000Yeah, you got to start with the leaves, whatever, the kindling, small, tiny branches, and then slowly work your way up to bigger stuff.
00:41:44.000I always stick a stick in the ground at an angle, and then I put my tender on top of that, and I call that the mouth of the fire.
00:41:50.000Fire has to eat, and it has to breathe oxygen.
00:41:52.000So you got to leave the mouth open so it can get some oxygen.
00:41:54.000Once I put that stick in the ground at an angle, I put my tender on top of that, and then I teach my students to use the three Ps.
00:41:59.000You want pencil-led size sticks, and then you want pencil-sized sticks, and then you want pinky-sized sticks.
00:42:05.000And you'll start with a tender, then a whole bunch of the pencil-led size sticks, then the pencil, and then the pinky.
00:42:10.000And you want to make sure that before you start your fire, you have all that gathered and piled up and ready to go, as well as your cord wood that you're going to use to keep your fire burning.
00:42:18.000The last thing you want to do is start it, and then be scrambling to have wood to keep feeding it, to keep it going.
00:42:22.000You know, a handy way to remember that is under Sharia law, you can beat your wife with a stick about as wide as your pinky.
00:42:29.000So that's like a handy way to remember it.
00:42:31.000I don't know if that's a great way to remember it.
00:42:34.000You know, I saw some infomercial that had this thing that has a little keychain, and you pull it out, and it's like a permanent match, and it can't be put out unless you put it back in the chamber.
00:42:45.000That sounds like the most, like I've got a Leatherman on me at all times, but that sounds like a much more valuable tool is that Firestarter thingy.
00:42:55.000I love a good multi-tool, Leatherman, Gerber.
00:42:58.000Both of those make some really good multi-tools.
00:43:00.000But the little, you're talking about the forever match.
00:43:02.000And I used to sell those in my store, but I stopped.
00:43:04.000And the reason is, number one, they take fluid.
00:43:06.000And even with a little rubber gasket that they come with, a lot of times that fluid evaporates and dries up out of it.
00:43:11.000It's just like Zippo fluid, same lighter fluid.
00:43:13.000And it has a little cotton wick on the end of it that you can restuff in there, put a new one, or you can pull it out.
00:43:18.000But the best fire starter, in my opinion, is the magnesium fire starters.
00:43:23.000Purefire Tactical makes a great magnesium fire starter that they warranty and guarantee.
00:43:27.000And I don't like the cheap $3 and $4 rectangular magnesium fire starters.
00:43:32.000Get the ones that are more pure-grade magnesium because that pure magnesium is a lot easier to shave and a lot easier to light.
00:45:19.000So what you eat, you don't eat the corn dog-looking thing at the top.
00:45:21.000You find the one that doesn't have the corndog.
00:45:23.000It's just a bunch of leaves where the cattails are.
00:45:25.000You spread the outside leaves apart, and then you pull out the middle part, and now at the end, you'll see A white piece about yay long, and you can actually eat that.
00:45:33.000It's like a mix between cucumber and celery.
00:45:34.000It's watery like cucumber, tastes a little bit like it, but fibrous like celery.
00:46:40.000But you've got to look at the plant life that's local to your area and find out what's edible around there.
00:46:45.000Most every neighborhood or city that I've been to has had some type of educational program like Eat the Weeds, where you can actually go out and walk around with someone.
00:46:55.000They'll take you on a hike and teach you edible weeds and plants that are in the area, like plantain and dandelion and different things like that.
00:47:02.000Yeah, and I guess with mushrooms, if you're well educated enough, you can eat the psilocybins and then realize, you know, just the adults, realize that we're all living organisms on a planet, each sharing the same oxygen.
00:47:16.000And God made us with cells where we can see through time and see through space if we only recognize our inner powers.
00:47:28.000You might could do that, or you might end up fighting dragons and running away from your kids.
00:48:15.000You can go a couple of days without food without losing your dexterity and your ability to move and function.
00:48:20.000You can only go a couple of days without water doing any type of strenuous activity such as building shelter and metabolizing and breaking down the food and proteins in your body without water.
00:48:30.000Your hands are going to start to cramp up or you're going to have to lift your fingers and spread them apart.
00:48:34.000You're going to get a tension headache in the back of your skull that's brought on by heat exhaustion or dehydration.
00:49:03.000If you can see the source of the water, where it's coming out of the ground or out of the rock and it's cold and moving, then you're probably safe.
00:49:10.000In military survival, they teach you to go a mile downstream and check the area because there could be something dead.
00:49:18.000If you walk a mile upstream and you don't see anything and you drink the water, there could be something right around the bend that you didn't see.
00:49:24.000You've got to think about the parts per million that are in that water.
00:49:27.000But then again, we don't recommend drinking any water without purifying it unless you're pretty much looking and knocking on death's door.
00:49:34.000At that point, yes, you can drink water that you can't purify because if you don't get it into your body, you're probably going to die soon.
00:49:40.000And it's going to take six to 12 hours for some of those bacteria or those pathogens to give you dysentery anyways.
00:49:46.000So there is a point where you're eventually going to have to drink the water if you don't have a means of purification.
00:49:50.000But if you can purify it in any way, that is always recommended.
00:49:56.000Okay, so the message I'm getting here is either take a course or learn about the weeds you can eat or you guys in the Northeast are going to starve to death.
00:50:07.000Get some education, get some training.
00:50:09.000Once you have it up here, nobody can take that from you.
00:50:12.000It lightens your pack because you have more knowledge and you can get a lot further with the items you have because you can stretch them out by implementing and what's the word I'm looking for?
00:50:21.000You know, adding to from nature to the things that you already have.
00:50:41.000You can get a lot more done by gathering and you can spend time improving your shelter and your living area, putting out passive and active signals for rescue and doing other things if you don't spend time hunting.
00:50:52.000So what you want to focus on is foraging.
00:50:53.000And then if you really need proteins and other things, you need more food because you can't forage enough, then you want to go to trapping.
00:50:59.000You can set 10 to 20 traps per person and those traps will hunt for you during the day and you just check them in the morning and you check them again in the evening and make sure they're all up and working.
00:51:08.000And if you get something, then you've got food.
00:51:10.000If you're out actively hunting during the day, you spend a lot of time and a lot of calories hunting.
00:51:14.000And if you're not proficient with the tool that you're using, say you carve a spear, if you've never thrown a spear in your life, everybody try to go outside and just take a broom handle and unscrew it from the broom and just try to hit something with it, even just dead on.
00:51:26.000And you'll see that it's almost impossible the first couple of times.
00:51:29.000So imagine if you're out in a survival situation, you finally found a rabbit, you throw a spear, you miss the rabbit, and it runs off.
00:51:34.000And there went your food that you spent searching the last three hours for.
00:51:37.000And if it's something like a deer or any larger prey, you don't just have to hit it.
00:51:42.000You have to hit it in the perfect spot.
00:51:44.000Yeah, so a deer, you normally, like when we hunt for a deer with a bow and arrow or with a rifle, you want to hit it in the shoulder if it's broadside to you.
00:51:53.000And you don't want to hit it if it's quartered to you, but if it's quartered away, you can shoot behind the shoulder.
00:51:57.000And a hog, we always tell people shoot them in The ear because their brain's right there in between your ears.
00:52:02.000But yeah, you got to hit them in the right spot.
00:52:04.000And usually throw in something like a spear, you're not going to penetrate something as large as a deer or a hog, anyway.
00:52:10.000I would recommend some type of a small, like a, if you stand up and stretch your arm as far as you can above your head and you find a tree that's nice and straight, you can make a spear and a gig out of that tree.
00:52:21.000You find a nice sapling that's pretty solid.
00:52:23.000And what you'll do is on the big end of it, you'll carve a very small and sharp point.
00:52:29.000And you can use that point for force defense against a wild animal or predatory animal should it try to come near you.
00:52:34.000Most of them you can scare away with sound and by being loud and noisy and telling them, hey, go away.
00:52:39.000But number one is situational awareness.
00:52:40.000Pay attention to what's around you so you don't accidentally walk up on a large predatory animal and scare it.
00:52:45.000But on the other end of that spear, you could create, you take it and split it on the end, split it one way and the other way like a cross or an X, or you can split it multiple times.
00:52:54.000And then you take little twigs and you put them in between those splits and it'll open it up and you make a gig.
00:52:59.000So now you can fish or go for frogs and stuff like that with that gig.
00:53:03.000I've also seen the Indians have a sort of catapult system where they do a kajooy thing with the spear to give it more velocity.
00:53:18.000I mean, even back then, that was their science, but it gives a lot more momentum by using a leverage point to where you can speed that up super fast.
00:53:26.000And you'll see when it throws, it'll actually wobble in the air a little bit before it straightens out in that slight pattern.
00:53:47.000When you watch Naked and Afraid, what is the most frustrating part of that show for you as a survivalist?
00:53:55.000Okay, the things that they have people do for ratings, the things that on this is any survival show, the things that they'll have people do to make people laugh or make people think something's crazy.
00:54:06.000A lot of people take those shows at face value and think that the things that people do on those shows are what you should do in a survival situation.
00:54:13.000And wrestling an alligator for food or jumping from this cliff to that cliff is not what we call risk mitigation.
00:54:22.000They could definitely put your life in danger or at least, at the very least, seriously injure or maim you, which severely decreases your chances of survival.
00:54:31.000So I hate to see the things that they do on those shows and they put it out there into the public world and then people see it and think that it's something that they should do.
00:54:39.000Second to that would be the people that get ate up by bugs and mosquitoes when they could just get some mud or some clay and then slather themselves in mud and clay.
00:54:47.000It doesn't stop the persistent buzzing in your ear that aggravates the bejesus out of you, but it'll at least stop them from penetrating your skin.
00:54:55.000They also seem to spend a lot of time hunting.
00:55:02.000If you've got any kind of cordage or you can make a trapped.
00:55:06.000You were saying earlier not to hunt because it burns up too much calories, but naked and afraid, like half the show is some poor bastard with a spear missing.
00:55:15.000And that's, I mean, it's just like I said, it's not ideal.
00:55:18.000You're teaching society that that's the way to do it.
00:55:20.000And in a survival situation, you don't want to hunt.
00:55:22.000It's using up too much calories and too much of your time during the day and setting those traps.
00:55:27.000Even if you set pit traps, you can set snares, you can set deadfalls, all kinds of traps that you can set.
00:55:32.000And you spend those calories one time and you let those traps work for you while you're doing other stuff, gathering firewood, foraging for food, getting drinkable water, stuff like that.
00:57:04.000She's a chubby Jew who was having trouble getting laid, and then she found this identity, and all of a sudden, she didn't get tons of poon per se, but she started getting attention, and she had a culture and a family.
00:57:17.000So she's like, all right, I'm gay now.
00:57:19.000I just don't like to eat pussy or have my pussy eaten by a woman or a scissor.
00:58:15.000Do lesbians have a lot of abortions or gays?
00:58:20.000He wants to go to the eye of the storm where abortion is a real issue, and he goes to a place where men put their dinks in bums and women rub their vaginas Together, or whatever the hell they do.
00:58:31.000That's probably the least abortive place.
00:58:34.000You want to be in like a trailer park or a black neighborhood.
00:58:38.000Why isn't he in the black neighborhood if he's so worried about abortion?
00:58:41.000Probably for the same reason that these people who are out to fight hate focus on the proud boys.
00:58:47.000Because you know, if you focus on an actual hate group like the Aryan Nations, they'd kill you.
00:58:52.000Okay, so she, she, having that reaction, the reason I wanted to make this montage is because it's not unusual.
00:59:00.000And it shows that women are not cut out for confrontation on the most part.
00:59:05.000And you think of women in like the 50s who would never do that.
00:59:08.000They would just say to their brother or their husband, can you do something about that guy screaming?
01:01:04.000I'm not even including the one with the reflective gear and the hat who was screaming at the sky after Trump was elected or the whole screaming rally they had where they all screamed.
01:01:14.000I'm focusing mostly on women biting off more than they can chew and having nervous breakdowns in public.
01:01:21.000Is that like Haley Kinison, Sam's daughter?
01:03:27.000I've never seen somebody whose gender is young John Podesta.
01:03:32.000Finally, let's check out what women do when they are allowed to totally express themselves and not be in a confrontational situation, but just really say what they have to say to the world through their art.
01:03:47.000An irreverent feminist manifesto for the 21st century.
01:07:35.000You go to San Jose, you go to like, there's a bar called the Beatles Bar, and you'll meet every white person in San Jose in like 10 minutes.
01:07:42.000It's not a place you go to vanish, obviously.
01:07:46.000So the options remain someone kicked him out of a plane over the ocean, or he was killed on the property and buried in a hole.
01:07:56.000Why would anyone kick him out of a plane if he wasn't a drug dealer?
01:07:59.000Why would he have rivals of that caliber?
01:08:02.000Getting kicked out of a plane is like top murder.
01:08:05.000That's like you work with guys who are selling kilos and kilos of Coke.
01:08:09.000You're in the big leagues as far as the danger.
01:10:33.000And it has to be the right time, right?
01:10:34.000She can't be like washing the dishes and you come over and she's going, it's just got to be like, come here, come here, come here, doodle-doo.
01:11:14.000It's only 600 cc's, but the guy who had it before me souped it up so much it's more like a 750.
01:11:22.000Cafe racer, obviously, stripped down to nothing.
01:11:27.000It's all pretty much original parts, I mean, or Based on original parts, there's no real outside of the performance, it looks exactly like the 2002.
01:11:35.000And I believe the 2002s were meant to look like the original 1965s.
01:11:42.000I'm kind of a pussy though on the highway, and when I get over 60 miles an hour, with I have actually a fairing on it now that isn't on this, but it doesn't do anything.
01:14:07.000Hey guys, this is pretty funny for a number of reasons.
01:14:09.000One being that Republican men tend to be men and are successful, masculine, and have high sexual body counts full of tons of satisfied women, whereas super liberal men who want the government to control everything are weak, hence why they want someone making choices for them.
01:14:24.000But how about this loser trying to be funny and quote-unquote burn Republican men?
01:14:29.000A guy who looks like he smells like baby powder and plays with action figures.
01:16:40.000He writes about Marvel as a grown man.
01:16:42.000But anyway, so you want someone, a man, there, but you don't want him to be a threat because you don't want him to fuck you because you already have a baby.
01:16:50.000So you're looking for a sibling type figure, a sexless, weak, kind figure, just like this guy who thinks he's an altaholic.
01:16:58.000And I thought, this can't be a coincidence that this woman, the rich girl he married, is totally obsessed with birth control and women's reproductive rights and not ovulating and tricking your body into being in your first trimester.
01:17:15.000And she's married to the guy who came up with the superhero Snowflake, or at least is intimately involved in the process.
01:17:52.000Even if we granted the most generous possible terms to the anti-abortion camp, even if we pretended the fetus was fully rational and contemplating Shakespeare in the Womb, abortion would still not be murder.
01:18:06.000Sounds like you had an abortion and you're feeling real guilty.
01:18:13.000So, what happens with these women is they go off birth control, and now that instinct is gone, and they're back to their real selves that crave a real man.
01:18:25.000And they look to their right, and they have the guy behind Snowflake and Safe Space.
01:24:44.000I don't know when you will see Gary again due to the Wuhan flu, but after he was licking the mug and said, suck you with the funglasses, I had an idea.