It's Easter weekend and the boys are hungover from a wild night out on Saturday night. They talk about the latest episode of Game of Thrones, the latest news and gossip, and some current events in the world.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:10:00.000Meanwhile, if Vince Neal came up to a biker at a strip cup and said, I'm sitting here, the biker would go, do you want me to throw you out that fucking window?
00:10:08.000You're going to need to go to Dr. Feelgood, stupid.
00:10:11.000You're going to need some painkillers after I rip your head off.
00:13:18.000And it's said not with any humor whatsoever.
00:13:21.000Like if you're mad at someone at work for not pulling their weight, they'll go, and fucking, Mark's a total dog fucker, slowing down production on everything.
00:13:29.000And the person wouldn't go, they would go, I knew he was a dog fucker.
00:13:33.000So he just, he's been fucking the dog like since he started working there?
00:13:37.000I mean, it wasn't that, he wasn't fucking the dog so much.
00:14:00.000Trump is the most entertaining president in the history of America.
00:14:05.000When I write Trump on my little notes here, I feel as excited as if I was writing fat feminists.
00:14:13.000Like there's just so much good content.
00:14:15.000I couldn't imagine talking about George W. Bush this much or Bill Clinton.
00:14:21.000I don't even think, like Huffington Post said, we're not going to put Trump on the political page because we're going to put him on entertainment.
00:14:27.000Wherein Trump, of course, said, Ariana Huffington, didn't your husband leave if you're a man?
00:16:29.000I don't know why they want to be white so bad, but I have this theory I'm working on where I think there's a Chinese accent, like a voice in English, even if they were born here and didn't live anywhere near Chinatown.
00:16:42.000So you adopt an Asian girl from China, plop her into the middle of Connecticut, raise her, and I feel like blindfolded, I could determine it.
00:17:03.000I wonder if there's an octave for that.
00:17:05.000So we were talking last week about the way they talked to Obama and his hard-hitting questions like, I was reading Michelle Obama's book, which is wonderful, by the way.
00:20:08.000See, this is a New York thing, and I think it's ultimately a Northeast thing, and I think that's ultimately a Scottish thing.
00:20:16.000All of the upstate New York was settled by Scots, and the Scotch-Irish culture is a big part of New York culture, and it's also a big part of the South.
00:20:22.000They've done tests, by the way, where they walk people down this dark hallway, and Midwesterners, Pacific Northwesterners, they'll have little holes in the hallway, and they'll go, fuck you.
00:20:38.000And they've noticed that like Californians will just go and just keep walking, but Southerners and New Yorkers will stop and go, what the fuck?
00:21:16.000Like, I remember that story I told you where the guy goes, because I didn't stop my car to let him cross and he's 15 feet from a crosswalk.
00:21:24.000I jumped out of the car and I guess you could say he trolled me and I got real mad.
00:24:31.000So this poor Jazz has a gunshot wound in a chicken between her legs.
00:24:38.000And this gay guy who has a crush on it basically gets so encouraged to have bottom surgery that she sort of becomes her, Jazz becomes the other guy's sponsor.
00:24:51.000And then both families go to the operation where he, and we saw the operation in another episode, right?
00:24:57.000Where they, oh, God, it is like we, I mean, when I was a kid, the scariest thing you could think of was the Colombian necktie, which Colombian drug dealers would cut your throat and then pull your tongue out the hole.
00:28:38.000The boy in the hospital going, I'm so happy.
00:28:43.000And then the dad, like, stroking his hair.
00:28:46.000Because the assumption is, my son will kill himself if I don't let him do this.
00:28:49.000No, your son will kill himself if you let him do this.
00:28:54.000Your son feels weird because he's gay, and it's weird to be gay, just like it's weird to be an albino, just like it's weird to be left-handed.
00:29:00.000There's, of course, degrees of weird, but we were put here on the earth to propagate the species.
00:29:40.000And then the next thing you know, I'll be gardening and going to my potluck things and we'd have the book club and I'd just be a normal gal.
00:29:47.000You know why this is such a perfect reality show too?
00:29:49.000Because they know exactly how to act like a woman on a reality show because that's their idea of what a woman is.
00:29:55.000When they sit like this and they're just like talking to each other and they're just like, so pretty much boopa doopa doop.
00:30:01.000And then do you say something and they're just sitting cross-legged across from each other?
00:31:56.000Like, I might talk to my dad like that, but we're peers.
00:31:59.000I don't think I'd talk to my mother like that.
00:32:01.000I definitely wouldn't talk to your mother like that.
00:32:03.000Like, I don't talk to postmen like that.
00:32:07.000Can we have a little bit of, I mean, I know I'm punk and everything and have an irreverent show, but can we have a modicum of decorum, please?
00:32:16.000It's the president of the most powerful country in the world, and you're acting like you just went peepee on your poo-poo.
00:32:22.000And you're basically asking him to air out my poo.
00:32:26.000To tell his plan on how to retaliate to China.
00:32:29.000What She's trying to do it's almost like a cross-examination.
00:34:23.000When you read Ann Coulter's book, I think it's in Trump We Trust, and she's talking about how she got to the number 30 million for the number of illegals here.
00:34:31.000And there's so much fake news out there trying to tell you it's 12 million, but she's breaking it through, showing this report, this PDF, and this study.
00:37:45.000Democrats believe that President Trump said that there were good Nazis and bad Nazis and good white nationalists and bad white nationalists.
00:37:52.000There's a reason why the majority of Democrats believe that Donald Trump mocked the handicap reporter when he did no such thing.
00:37:57.000There's a reason that the majority of Democrats believe that Donald Trump referred to the coronavirus as a hoax.
00:38:02.000There's a reason that the majority of Democrats believe the Russians not only interfered with the election, Sean and Sean, but believe that the Russians actually changed vote tallies.
00:38:11.000And the answer is the liberal media, the bias, the hatred towards Trump, the hatred towards Republicans, the hatred towards conservatives.
00:38:17.000And this is the president who, for the first time.
00:39:43.000You provoked the Rust Belt and the Midwest and Southerners and called them all trash and beneath you and they're fucking disgusting.
00:39:52.000I told you I heard the manager of my bar, I won't say the name of it, saying that the entire, it's weird hearing Democrats with a New York accent.
00:40:03.000I'll never, it's almost as weird as when you see union guys like electricians and plumbers with pro-Hillary signs and you're like, do you guys have to wash your hands after you're done your rally?
00:40:17.000But he goes, I swear to God, they should just have a fucking, I wish just a giant hurricane just would wash out the middle of the States and just drain it into the Gulf of Mexico.
00:41:11.000We've come to Seth Meyers, and on his recent latest segment about President Trump, he again, like others, misinterprets.
00:41:18.000I'm sorry, this is off topic, but Seth, has it occurred to you that it's really distracting to have a black hinge and a black handle on either side of your head?
00:41:53.000Yeah, the people at home, they want to be able to see who the uploader is.
00:41:58.000We're an America-first channel where every day we make fun of the radical left and discuss the serious issues impacting America today.
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00:42:14.000In the beginning of his criticisms of Trump, he states that Trump doesn't like to hear the word testing and that he complains that the federal government's job is not to test people.
00:42:24.000At one of his daily press conferences this week, as the U.S. was continuing to face down a deadly virus spreading rapidly throughout the country, he bristled when the word testing came up and complained that it wasn't the federal government's job to test people.
00:42:37.000Testing is still a big issue in this country.
00:42:40.000It's really sped up, so everyone's voice sounds like it.
00:42:44.000When can hospitals expect to receive a quick turnaround?
00:42:58.000With a federal government, listen, with a federal government, we're not supposed to stand on street corners doing testing.
00:43:05.000Trump thinks testing happens on street corners because if he weren't president, he'd definitely be selling fake tests on street corners right now.
00:43:12.000Taking one thing he says out of the whole picture and running with it as the truth is stupid.
00:43:19.000Now, onto his claims about Trump not liking the word testing.
00:43:23.000I mean, let's look at it in his situation.
00:43:25.000The media's priority is to sensationalize this virus as they're glorifying and scaring the American public, even though they're supposed to do the opposite.
00:43:33.000So when another one of these reporters try to come and bring this sensationalization of the virus to President Trump, he doesn't like it because it's taking away the airtime from the questions that Americans need to know and the information he's trying to tell us.
00:43:46.000Also, President Trump never said that it isn't the federal government's job to test people.
00:43:51.000He uses the word also, like if done, to imply that it isn't just one entity or thing that's responsible for doing all the work, but multiple.
00:43:59.000We live in a federal-style government.
00:44:01.000That means local and state government don't have to wait for the federal government.
00:44:04.000He also talks about how Seth Myers says it's horrible that we've lost Bernie because he was going to give us Medicare for all.
00:44:11.000And the host, that Scott guy, says, but you just said that the government is broken.
00:44:17.000So on the one hand, you hate this government and think it's useless.
00:44:20.000And then on the other hand, you want them to have even more power and control everyone's personal health.
00:48:09.000How would a universal DH affect the Mets?
00:48:12.000Well, it would more help them than affect them.
00:48:15.000The only thing it will affect them, well, the only thing bad is that the Mets have really good hitting pitchers.
00:48:23.000And then when they're playing other teams in the National League, then when their pitchers are up, it's not always an automatic out like some teams.
00:48:30.000But it's really good because they'll probably have like JD Davis as their DH.
00:50:30.000He was like, Duncan was saying, I'm trying to remember all the teams that have had shutouts in the past three years.
00:50:38.000There's the White Sox, and then as he's going through that list, Johnny, who's only seven and pronounces church church and merch mooch, says, hmm, I'm trying to think of all the people that are a noob.
00:50:55.000There's, and then just says his brother's name six times in a row.
00:52:40.000Dating back to the 16th century, the Bennettine manuscript is a collection of poems written by George Bennettin while he was a board student locked in his Edinburgh home due to the plague.
00:52:50.000Oh, we should have come up with some swear words with this pandemic.
00:58:57.000You have all this awesome technology and these beautiful prints of just like your friend, your fat friend, like the one we were talking about at the beginning of the show, just like going, looking out.
00:59:06.000And then she has this handwritten poetry about all.
00:59:09.000And she's writing about herself like she's Anne Frank or something.
00:59:13.000And it says, it'll have Melissa with like her stupid sweater on looking out over a lake.
00:59:19.000And it says, Melissa was the first one to befriend her.
00:59:51.000A guy named Joe recommending the song we just played.
00:59:54.000Hey, Gav, I remember you wearing a shirt that says, don't let me do shots or Coke.
00:59:58.000I'm not sure if you designed this shirt or where the original was created, but if you sold those on your website, I'm sure they'd blow the fuck up.
01:00:07.000And the funny part about that shirt is I was not kidding.
01:00:10.000I used to get blackout drunk so often.
01:00:13.000I would leave notes to people on my body.
01:00:16.000I used to write on my belly, wear a condom before I decided condoms are bullshit.
01:00:23.000So whenever someone got down there, someone, a lady, not jazz, they would see that they should probably wrap it.
01:00:32.000And don't let me do shots or coke, yeah.
01:00:34.000Because sometimes I would feel like, especially at South by Southwest where I invented the shirt, I felt like I was sort of passing myself off.
01:02:27.000I know we're completely off on a rabbit chase.
01:02:30.000They take pictures of themselves literally every few minutes and send it to their friends.
01:02:36.000Then their friends, they send it back of their cell.
01:02:40.000I know this because when I first under 20 years of age, he hates cell phones in general.
01:02:50.000Like he hated cell phones in the 90s when it was just a flip phone.
01:02:54.000It's like, if you want to make a fucking phone, we didn't swear, but if you want to make a phone call, you go up to your phone, you dial it, and it stays there in the house.
01:03:02.000I should just clip this on the soundboard just that reading.
01:04:42.000Hey, guys, watching Monday's podcast and you brought up socialism doesn't do well with numbers.
01:04:46.000What he means is socialists don't do well with numbers.
01:04:49.000That same day, I saw this hippie socialist chick from a high school talking with her friends on her Facebook post about how Walmart could pay their employees $100,000 more.
01:05:10.000Like if someone's sweep taking out the garbage at McDonald's and the guy who owns McDonald's is a trillionaire, should he be paying the garbage guy 300 grand a year?
01:05:20.000He's now the richest garbage guy in the world?
01:05:25.000You get what the market, the market has minimum wage, which I don't think should exist, but taking out garbage all day, that's a $12 an hour job.
01:05:35.000Anyone, anyone can do it, and a lot of animals can.
01:05:39.000They really have no idea how numbers and economics work.
01:05:42.000How do you even have a conversation with this kind of ignorance?
01:05:46.000Now, I looked this up and I thought this would be a fun thing for you.
01:05:51.000So apparently Walmart has 2.2 million employees, right?
01:05:56.000And they make $40 million a day in profit.
01:11:52.000There are many different languages in sign language in different countries, such as American Sign Language, British Sign Language, French Sign Language, and so on.
01:12:00.000And get this pidgin sign language doesn't exist, unfortunately, which is absurd.
01:13:11.000And if you're deaf, you're just me, but like you can't hear stuff.
01:13:14.000No, there's usually a few other issues going on, I'm afraid.
01:13:21.000They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses.
01:13:28.000Okay, this will be the last letter because that was mean and I feel dirty.
01:13:33.000I live in Ohio, but Pennsylvania has banned liquor sales.
01:13:37.000The counties that are on the border of Pennsylvania and Ohio are now requiring Ohio identification to buy liquor, apparently to stop people from crossing the border to buy booze.
01:13:46.000I mean, what is happening to this country?
01:14:43.000So some old lady comes at him bitching about, you gave me the wrong envelope or something, and you'd think as a postal worker, you go, oh shit, sorry.
01:16:03.000That was another reason I was glad we brought the TriCaster and everything to your apartment because I didn't have to worry about it every day.
01:20:35.000So get your chicks ready and get your argument ready.
01:20:40.000Like I'm not usually into redheads, but if you have a good argument, you can sway me.
01:20:44.000Or I'm not a huge tit guy, but if you have tits and you're like, this is why they're great, blah, blah, blah, like the way the lawn dude explained it to me.
01:20:51.000For example, no, we'll do it tomorrow.
01:21:17.000By the way, if you're about to commit a major felony, don't use your bank card and register it with your pin so they know who was just here at that time.
01:22:22.000So he's talking trash, and all I can make out, because it's a different language, but he was saying, if someone was going to rob you, they'd have robbed you already.
01:22:30.000And he goes, no, they wouldn't, because I'd fucking kill them.
01:23:38.000I remember based Stickman was talking about his prison time, and he goes, dude, I was in a prison in Florida that was the guys were so black you couldn't understand them.
01:23:47.000It was a totally different language, and I see what he's talking about now.
01:24:15.000Okay, so the guy in the NASA shirt said to the guy in the collegiate jacket, I guess one of them is in college, the other's already graduated and is working at the space program.