Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E151 - HOT CHICKS [2020-04-15 - S02E151

00:00:29.000 Hello, folks.

00:00:31.000 Welcome back to Ryan is Incompetent and What the Fuck Is He Wearing?

00:00:36.000 The acronym for that just being G-O-M-L.

00:00:39.000 Ryan is dressed in a hot chick's PJs today here in the future.

00:00:46.000 Coming from the fag zone.

00:00:49.000 Anywhere I go is now the fag zone to you?

00:00:55.000 I picked him up this morning.

00:00:57.000 We drive into the city every day.

00:00:58.000 And I go, are you going to change out of your pajamas?

00:01:01.000 And he goes, these aren't pajamas.

00:01:04.000 I go, yes, they are.

00:01:05.000 They're hot chick with big tit pajamas.

00:01:08.000 But this is a special episode called Hot Chicks.

00:01:13.000 And we're going to go through the hottest chicks in the world today and argue and rate.

00:01:18.000 Now, I don't want to ostraciz our female viewers.

00:01:24.000 So I want to have some caveats here.

00:01:26.000 Ladies, I want you to understand that we know we're gross.

00:01:29.000 Ryan knows he looks like a funny little pygmy from the jungle with the weird little monkey face and he's a midget and his nose looks like he was in a car accident.

00:01:40.000 He understands all that.

00:01:42.000 I know that I look like Donald Sutherland with AIDS.

00:01:44.000 I look like someone who died about seven years ago.

00:01:49.000 And maybe I did.

00:01:51.000 Maybe I did.

00:01:52.000 So we know we're nothing to write home about.

00:01:54.000 This is like fat dudes sitting on the couch talking about athletes and saying, get your shit together, deGrom.

00:02:01.000 Fucking worst pitching inning ever.

00:02:04.000 Meanwhile, we throw like this.

00:02:07.000 You get it?

00:02:09.000 By the way, that's always a funny thing to do if you're in a park.

00:02:12.000 Grab a ball and throw catch to your buddy with your left hand.

00:02:17.000 You see how you do?

00:02:18.000 Yeah, well, yeah.

00:02:19.000 I've always said if I ever get an opening pitch, I'm going to do one of those left-handed ones just to humiliate my family.

00:02:28.000 So everything has to be taken with a grain of salt.

00:02:31.000 We realize we're nothing to write home about.

00:02:32.000 So don't get offended.

00:02:33.000 Well, I don't care who gets offended, but don't be hurt, ladies.

00:02:36.000 Oh, here's another caveat I want to add.

00:02:39.000 Some of you will be sitting there, some of you ladies will be sitting there looking at your gunt and going, oh, what?

00:02:44.000 She's not even pretty enough for him.

00:02:46.000 Men aren't like that.

00:02:47.000 You'll notice if you watch 650 Pound Life, she's married.

00:02:52.000 The biggest, fattest, ugliest pig at Walmart has a boyfriend.

00:02:56.000 So it's not like we sit around and we go, you're either Sophila Ren or nothing.

00:03:01.000 We have weird tastes, and one man's garbage is another man's treasure.

00:03:05.000 So I'll be, you're probably going to send me like what would be considered a nine today, and I'll probably go, nah, no thanks.

00:03:12.000 Now, that doesn't mean that I only do tens.

00:03:15.000 It means that there's plenty of sevens that I would prefer.

00:03:18.000 And we discussed this the other day when I was talking about how Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, my dick just falls off.

00:03:25.000 Now, there's other girls that are not hot.

00:03:28.000 Like even, you know the girl from Eastbound and Down?

00:03:32.000 Yeah, she's more of a woman.

00:03:33.000 With the chubby cheeks.

00:03:35.000 Now, obviously, in Eastbound and Down, she was through the roof, especially when she had a tit double for the boob scene.

00:03:44.000 But she's presently in a sitcom where she's a fat pig.

00:03:50.000 I'll take her over Katy Perry.

00:03:53.000 And it wouldn't be a compromise.

00:03:55.000 I wouldn't be going, fuck.

00:03:56.000 Like, I would much prefer modern, what's her name?

00:04:02.000 Let's see.

00:04:03.000 Katie Mixon.

00:04:05.000 Obviously, that's when she was super young.

00:04:07.000 But I would take today's Katie Mixon over today's Katy Perry or Lady Gaga.

00:04:13.000 And the reason I'm saying that to you ladies is to say we don't sit here and go, tons or nothing.

00:04:20.000 We go, and this is why I love this game.

00:04:23.000 This is why we made this show because it's not a science, it's not an art, and it's not based on prettiness too.

00:04:30.000 Judging hot chicks isn't necessarily about being hot.

00:04:35.000 That's where it gets spooky.

00:04:38.000 For example, Victoria's Secret runway show.

00:04:42.000 Of course, yes, very beautiful ladies.

00:04:44.000 I'm not blind.

00:04:45.000 I'm not kicking any of them out of bed for eating crackers.

00:04:48.000 But I don't think about it.

00:04:52.000 I'm not sitting on the train going, how about those Victoria's Secret models?

00:04:57.000 Like when there was in Grand Central a few months ago, there was a big display for them.

00:05:02.000 And every time you got off the train from Grand Central to Times Square, you'd come in the subway and there'd just be like a thousand of them.

00:05:10.000 And I remember just going, yep, very attractive young ladies.

00:05:14.000 In and one air, out the other.

00:05:16.000 So that's one thing I have to get across.

00:05:18.000 Secondly, I apologize.

00:05:21.000 I am starting this show with a failure.

00:05:24.000 And that is, I had a chick ready who was going to change the game.

00:05:29.000 I can't find her.

00:05:32.000 Now I need you, as the research public, to help me with this.

00:05:37.000 It's an action movie.

00:05:39.000 It's from the past three years or less, maybe two years.

00:05:44.000 She is Mexican.

00:05:45.000 She has long black hair.

00:05:47.000 She's a real demon with the guns, one of these double guns type of chicks.

00:05:51.000 It's pretty, I recall the movie being pretty absurd.

00:05:54.000 Not like machete absurd, but pretty over the top.

00:05:59.000 Like you could still see Mark Wahlberg in it, though Mark Wahlberg's not in it.

00:06:02.000 I thought it was Miss Bala, but I just researched that.

00:06:06.000 It's not that.

00:06:07.000 She's a villain, and she's like the godfather.

00:06:10.000 Like she runs the whole drug cartel, gun running thing.

00:06:14.000 She is like the Pablo Escobar.

00:06:16.000 I believe she's in Mexico.

00:06:19.000 Another clue is I believe they had money hidden in the walls.

00:06:26.000 So when these guys go to rob the place, they have to rip open the walls.

00:06:32.000 I think.

00:06:33.000 Yeah.

00:06:34.000 Now don't go up down Sicario route.

00:06:36.000 That's humans in the walls.

00:06:38.000 And it's not that kind of a movie.

00:06:39.000 This is almost funny.

00:06:40.000 Like it's just a there were They weren't trying to impress you.

00:06:43.000 This is not a drama.

00:06:44.000 This is a silly action movie.

00:06:45.000 Oh, and she's super classy.

00:06:47.000 Like, I see her wearing a black dress.

00:06:49.000 She's not like in a t-shirt and jeans or anything.

00:06:51.000 She looks like she's going to the Academy Awards.

00:06:54.000 So see if you can help me with that.

00:06:56.000 And it's really hard to research because you look up action movie drug cartel and you end up with a bunch of documentaries.

00:07:02.000 No, this is over the top.

00:07:04.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey.

00:07:07.000 So see if you can find that Mexican chick.

00:07:10.000 Come on, man, Mikey.

00:07:14.000 Should we start with the 10 that I discovered?

00:07:17.000 The 10 that you discovered.

00:07:19.000 Okay, don't show her face.

00:07:20.000 Oh, actually, can you want to show something first?

00:07:23.000 Look up Sophia Lorenz strip teas.

00:07:26.000 Because a lot of the stuff we take for granted as the most beautiful woman in the world, no one can ever compete.

00:07:30.000 I'm not that impressed.

00:07:33.000 Like, remember we had...

00:07:40.000 Was it from the 70s?

00:07:41.000 Yeah, or 60s, I think.

00:07:46.000 Just the three stooges?

00:07:47.000 Don't burla!

00:07:48.000 Put on a disco.

00:07:49.000 Spogliate.

00:07:50.000 Spogliate.

00:07:52.000 See, this is when movies began and everyone overacted.

00:07:54.000 What kind of garbage language is this?

00:07:57.000 Italiano.

00:07:59.000 Now, I always thought of her as, like, if you had said to me, who's the most beautiful woman from the 60s?

00:08:03.000 I'd just go Sophia Ren.

00:08:04.000 But I think the chick from BBQT that we had on, who got kicked off her label for having the song Savage, has a similar look and is much hotter.

00:08:12.000 I think BB King is hotter.

00:08:16.000 Her nose is too bird-like.

00:08:20.000 Now, ladies, I know you're at home going, oh, I'm sorry, Sophia Loren's not good enough.

00:08:23.000 That's not what we're saying.

00:08:24.000 And get me out of there so we can see.

00:08:27.000 Oh.

00:08:27.000 To suspiribhisa percay.

00:08:34.000 Amen.

00:08:36.000 Amen.

00:08:38.000 All right, that's enough.

00:08:40.000 What is this film?

00:08:41.000 I don't know.

00:08:42.000 Is it just that?

00:08:44.000 Yeah, it's just that, Ryan.

00:08:46.000 It's a bedroom strip tease.

00:08:47.000 This is before they had porn.

00:08:49.000 Okay, I think we should do it.

00:08:50.000 It sets the tone.

00:08:52.000 So, Machete, go before you see her.

00:08:55.000 Before you see her.

00:08:56.000 Machete is a silly cartoon movie, Danny Trejo, who, by the way, is an awesome guy.

00:09:04.000 Super funny dude.

00:09:05.000 Great interview.

00:09:06.000 I've never met him, but I've heard him interviewed.

00:09:09.000 He had a horrible life, prison, probably 10 years of prison over the years.

00:09:13.000 And he got into action movies just because...

00:09:19.000 He was a good source for what prison is like, what bad guys are like.

00:09:22.000 He was a bad guy.

00:09:25.000 So this movie, he's a cop.

00:09:27.000 He's actually a cop right now in Mexico.

00:09:30.000 And the drug cartels have kidnapped this girl.

00:09:34.000 I think they've brainwashed her into being on his side.

00:09:37.000 And I would say about twice a year, you see a chick where you go, it's like someone's putting a hot poker right up your butt until it comes out your mouth.

00:09:53.000 I was alone when I saw this and totally involuntarily I was going, and then I could slowly get back to earth and just do normal stuff like go, oh my god, holy shit, oh my god, oh my god, holy shit, what the what the fuck?

00:10:20.000 It's like God overdid it.

00:10:22.000 He played his hand here.

00:10:23.000 God, if you're playing the poker of creating human beings, you want to have your cards like this.

00:10:28.000 You don't just go, bah, full house.

00:10:33.000 All right, folks, are you ready?

00:10:35.000 This is, I think, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

00:10:39.000 This isn't the finale, this is the jumping point.

00:10:41.000 This is the jumping point.

00:10:42.000 All downhill from here.

00:10:44.000 Possibly, yeah.

00:10:45.000 Well, I want to put this first because I want this to be a reference.

00:10:47.000 When someone shows us some pretty cheerleader and we're like, dude, what did we start the show with?

00:10:52.000 Myla Leia.

00:10:55.000 So when you're calling in, we'll have the number on the screen and you're sending us broads.

00:11:00.000 Please let it be the action movie broad I opened the show with.

00:11:02.000 But also know that this is the level that we're dealing with on today's show.

00:11:07.000 Okay?

00:11:10.000 Hold on to your hats.

00:11:11.000 Oh, stop, stop.

00:11:13.000 NSFW boobies coming up.

00:11:16.000 It's not a sex scene.

00:11:18.000 So I don't think it's the end of the world if kids see this by accident.

00:11:21.000 It's just a naked lady.

00:11:22.000 You see it in France on the beach all the time.

00:11:25.000 But yeah, if you're not into, if you don't like boobs, you don't want to see boobies, maybe fast forward a bit or something.

00:11:30.000 But here comes some boobs on a 10.

00:11:32.000 Boobs on a 10.

00:11:34.000 That's what we should call this episode.

00:11:36.000 Boobs on a 10.

00:11:38.000 Oh, there's some more massacres before we get there.

00:11:40.000 Boobs unattended.

00:11:43.000 I don't really know what that means.

00:11:45.000 Oh, my God.

00:11:46.000 It looks like their heads were just hanging by a thread already.

00:11:49.000 Okay, here we go.

00:11:52.000 Pause.

00:11:54.000 Oh, what?

00:11:58.000 Take me under this so we can see your feet.

00:12:00.000 So we can see your feet.

00:12:01.000 Well, they're hidden.

00:12:02.000 All right, put me back.

00:12:04.000 You know how they say Mike Pence wanted to help, what do you call it, convert gays by electrocuting them, which was a dumb rumor based on a long thing I've explained a million times.

00:12:15.000 But I would take this to conversion therapy for gays and just have it on like a piece of poster board and be like, all right, let's start with this.

00:12:26.000 We don't have a number two.

00:12:28.000 We don't have a second method.

00:12:30.000 This is it, by the way.

00:12:31.000 There's the wrong colour.

00:12:32.000 I know there's a whole center and you're waiting in a lobby and the nurse brought you in.

00:12:36.000 Let's see.

00:12:38.000 You'll notice there's no degrees on the wall up here.

00:12:40.000 This is just a doctor's code I got on Amazon.

00:12:43.000 This is it.

00:12:44.000 And by the way, we're at 100% success rate.

00:12:47.000 So feast your eyes on this.

00:12:50.000 What is that?

00:12:51.000 That beats Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch.

00:12:55.000 What a juxtaposition.

00:12:57.000 Hello.

00:12:58.000 Just pause.

00:13:00.000 What is that?

00:13:02.000 What is that?

00:13:07.000 I'm being born again.

00:13:10.000 And you know what else with those lips is you can tell they're not fake.

00:13:14.000 When someone has their lips and their tits done, what the fuck?

00:13:23.000 She's got the kind of age in the eyes.

00:13:26.000 Yep.

00:13:29.000 What?

00:13:30.000 Kills her.

00:13:31.000 Can you turn it up?

00:13:32.000 No, she's so pause.

00:13:34.000 So she's acting kind of drugged.

00:13:36.000 By the way, that bum, after seeing the front, could have a penis hanging off of each butt cheek.

00:13:41.000 And I'd be like, well, we could work around it.

00:13:43.000 Yeah, there's always room for improvement.

00:13:44.000 Yeah, we'll keep them, you know, well-groomed.

00:13:47.000 And I'll just, you know, hope she doesn't sit down when she has erections.

00:13:55.000 Go ahead.

00:13:56.000 Oh, uh-oh.

00:14:00.000 What is that thing?

00:14:06.000 She's pretty comfortable as an actress being nude.

00:14:12.000 So she's acting drugged.

00:14:14.000 That looks like me.

00:14:16.000 Just pause.

00:14:17.000 Go back a second here.

00:14:19.000 What in the Sam hell is this creature?

00:14:22.000 You know what she is?

00:14:24.000 She's a freak.

00:14:25.000 Like, if you were at a pause.

00:14:27.000 Say you're at a party and some friends are over, right?

00:14:30.000 And Ryan comes over and we're all hanging.

00:14:32.000 Hey, yeah, you shower and I'll shower.

00:14:35.000 No, it was, yeah, it was, I hate naggers, but they misheard me.

00:14:41.000 And then Ryan shows up in his woman's PJs and someone, his friend is severe, severely burned.

00:14:48.000 Like one of those ones that just has the stub hands and the weird nostrils with no hair and no ears and just the hole in the hole.

00:14:56.000 And then the teeth are like this kind of hard, you know?

00:15:00.000 And he's like, hey man, this is Mark.

00:15:02.000 We would all go, hey, hey, what's up?

00:15:05.000 Pretend we don't see anything.

00:15:06.000 All right.

00:15:08.000 Grab a seat.

00:15:08.000 Can I get you a beer?

00:15:10.000 Can you drink beer?

00:15:11.000 I'll get a straw.

00:15:13.000 Just have a seat.

00:15:13.000 All right.

00:15:14.000 Game's starting soon.

00:15:15.000 And great to see you.

00:15:16.000 This is Artie.

00:15:18.000 This is a guy we call Machete.

00:15:22.000 Okay, so you got that scenario, right?

00:15:24.000 When everyone goes, oh, hi, hi.

00:15:27.000 It's the same if anyone, like forget Ryan, if anyone walked into a room and she was there, she's as much of a freak as a burn victim.

00:15:38.000 And you would go, oh, hi, hello.

00:15:40.000 And your wife would be all pissed off.

00:15:42.000 Oh, fuck.

00:15:43.000 That's great.

00:15:44.000 Now I look like a fucking idiot troll.

00:15:47.000 Get the bitch out of here.

00:15:49.000 You just ignore them like the handicap people.

00:15:51.000 Like people in wheelchairs, you never stare.

00:15:53.000 You're just like.

00:15:54.000 Yeah.

00:15:55.000 She's that level of beauty.

00:15:56.000 Like she could be the circus side show could have like the bearded lady, a snake with two heads, the fucking insane 10, the man with no arms.

00:16:05.000 Same with Jackie.

00:16:06.000 Because he was beating up to the lady who's a 10.

00:16:10.000 Jessica Alba's also in this movie, and she's that level, but no, Jessica Alba is like a nine.

00:16:17.000 Look at this fucking thing.

00:16:21.000 Wow.

00:16:22.000 Actually, she's so hot that if someone, if a guy drew that, I'd be like, holy fuck, man, you have a gift.

00:16:28.000 What the fuck?

00:16:32.000 Turn it up.

00:16:35.000 What's this long, hard thing?

00:16:38.000 It's an erection.

00:16:40.000 Is it sharp?

00:16:43.000 The people are trying to kill us.

00:16:44.000 We don't really have much time there.

00:16:46.000 Ah, why'd you do that?

00:16:48.000 That's a femoral artery.

00:16:49.000 Look at her little perfect butt and her hair.

00:16:53.000 She reminds me of Eva Mendez, who's also in my top five.

00:16:57.000 Whoa, look at that.

00:16:58.000 She has a cell phone up her cooch.

00:17:03.000 She's only a nine in that shot.

00:17:07.000 Even her hair.

00:17:09.000 I think most of it is the hair.

00:17:12.000 No, most of it is the eyes.

00:17:15.000 They're Betty Davis-like Segal.

00:17:18.000 Oh, Robert De Niro's in this.

00:17:20.000 And then look at that hideous four that you know casting couched away into this movie.

00:17:27.000 Oh, no.

00:17:29.000 Yeah, it's over the top.

00:17:30.000 This is nothing.

00:17:31.000 And this is all in the first two minutes.

00:17:35.000 This is Robert Rodriguez?

00:17:37.000 I never liked him.

00:17:37.000 Yeah.

00:17:39.000 Well, it seems like kind of a Tarantino wannabe.

00:17:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:43.000 I think it's a good movie to have on if you have a bunch of buds over and there's no bird victims around.

00:17:49.000 That's enough.

00:17:50.000 And you're just like, you want something to sort of watch, but also be able to riff and stuff, and you're not worried about, you know, missing any plot points.

00:18:02.000 Oh, I'm going to put the call number up.

00:18:04.000 We also have the Discord.

00:18:06.000 God, I hope people can help me find this fucking chick.

00:18:06.000 Going, Erwin.

00:18:09.000 They might have.

00:18:10.000 You want to tap in?

00:18:11.000 Yeah, let's tap in.

00:18:13.000 I've said my view.

00:18:14.000 And by the way, it's one more thing.

00:18:16.000 The reason that we started the show with legs is because fashion-wise, and that's a big part of being a hot chick.

00:18:23.000 That's our ideal.

00:18:24.000 1980s fucking stilettos with little frilly socks.

00:18:31.000 The chat is now unmuted.

00:18:34.000 So if they're listening just to the stream, they won't hear this for another 15 seconds or so.

00:18:39.000 But if they are listening right now, if they could hear me, then they can start chiming in.

00:18:45.000 Hey, guys.

00:18:47.000 Hey, so we got a call in from Vesh.

00:18:50.000 Weird name.

00:18:53.000 All right, Vesh, you're on.

00:18:55.000 Hey, Gavin.

00:18:57.000 I was just wondering, like, what a five looks like to you.

00:19:01.000 And I mean, it should be right on top of the bell curve, you know, but what, like, height and weight, blemishes, acne, you know, what are all those things that factor into that fat part of the bell curve?

00:19:15.000 That's a great question, caller.

00:19:17.000 Thank you for your call.

00:19:18.000 I would say Mindy Kaling at her peak was a perfect five.

00:19:25.000 And I've always had a dream to, after leaving Vice, I was happy to be done with magazines and editing and stuff.

00:19:33.000 But I've always thought it'd be fun to go back and have a six magazine, and you'd have this like breathtakingly gorgeous six on the cover of six magazine.

00:19:43.000 Because would they want to do it?

00:19:44.000 Hey, Mindy, good news.

00:19:45.000 You're on the cover of six.

00:19:47.000 I thought it was more of like an eight.

00:19:48.000 But anyway, Mindy Kaling now is drifted into four territory, I'm afraid.

00:19:54.000 Yeah, putting Mindy Kaling on the front of six magazines is like putting Bruce Jedder on the front.

00:19:57.000 Right, I shouldn't have said Mindy, but look up young Mindy Kaling.

00:20:01.000 That strikes me as a five.

00:20:04.000 You're worried about her future?

00:20:08.000 I don't know that young.

00:20:10.000 Not when she is five.

00:20:11.000 When Mindy Kaling was five, she was a total five.

00:20:14.000 When Mindy Kaling was a child, I didn't want to fuck her at all.

00:20:20.000 Yeah, that one's pretty good.

00:20:22.000 Like with the lab coat on.

00:20:24.000 Okay, you're the white coat.

00:20:26.000 Lab coat.

00:20:26.000 Yep.

00:20:27.000 Like that's that to me is a breathtakingly gorgeous five.

00:20:31.000 Personally, I don't think Indian women can go above a seven.

00:20:36.000 Okay.

00:20:36.000 What about Padmar Lakshmi?

00:20:38.000 Typical looking woman.

00:20:39.000 Look up her, Padmar Lakshmi.

00:20:42.000 Welcome back to Hot Talk, where we look at chicks.

00:20:46.000 Lakshmi.

00:20:48.000 And by the way, fives, there's nothing wrong with a five.

00:20:52.000 You don't want to be your friends to see you with her.

00:20:55.000 Padma is a solid eight.

00:20:58.000 Always has been, always will be.

00:21:00.000 She'll be an 8, 80-year-old.

00:21:04.000 But I got a letter the other day and it said, I'm going through a tough breakup.

00:21:10.000 What's your advice?

00:21:11.000 You got to get your feet back on the ground.

00:21:15.000 You need to fuck some fives.

00:21:16.000 Get five fives under your belt.

00:21:19.000 And the beauty of fives is you can relax.

00:21:21.000 I dated a model when I lived in Montreal.

00:21:24.000 I think about her 0% of the time.

00:21:26.000 One night in New Orleans, I boned a big, fat four.

00:21:31.000 And that plays in my mind once every couple months.

00:21:36.000 So it's important to eat potatoes sometimes.

00:21:40.000 Not everything has to be a delicious meal.

00:21:42.000 And fives are good to practice on.

00:21:46.000 That's how guys talk to one another.

00:21:49.000 Okay, next call, and I'm going to find an interesting chick, an interesting letter that helped inspire this whole show.

00:21:56.000 All right.

00:21:57.000 Next question is from Titus.

00:22:00.000 Titus, you're gone.

00:22:01.000 Hello.

00:22:01.000 Yeah, I'm here.

00:22:03.000 Hello.

00:22:04.000 Hey, man.

00:22:07.000 So, okay, I guess my question is, classic beauties.

00:22:11.000 Who's like the dream girl from like, you know, the pinup era, 1560s?

00:22:18.000 Who's that blonde chick who was looking at her tits?

00:22:25.000 Jane Mansfield.

00:22:27.000 I think Jane Mansfield might be the hottest classic chick of all time.

00:22:32.000 What do you think?

00:22:35.000 And it's tough.

00:22:38.000 I mean, Breakfast at Tiffany's.

00:22:42.000 I can't go wrong with that.

00:22:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:22:44.000 What's her name?

00:22:46.000 Anne Blanken.

00:22:48.000 Breakfast at Tiffany's.

00:22:50.000 Ann Hepburn.

00:22:51.000 Audrey Hepburn.

00:22:53.000 Yeah.

00:22:54.000 You know what's interesting?

00:22:56.000 She's easily one of the most beautiful women of all time.

00:22:58.000 You know what's interesting about her?

00:23:01.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

00:23:02.000 You know what's interesting about her?

00:23:04.000 She's from, what's the tulip place that has the tulip festivals?

00:23:09.000 Where they invented the tulip?

00:23:11.000 Anyway, they have a they had it really rough in World War I and II, and we're starving to death now.

00:23:22.000 This tulip festival, Amsterdam.

00:23:24.000 Where are tulips from?

00:23:24.000 Just think tulips.

00:23:26.000 Is it Hungary?

00:23:31.000 Dutch heritage.

00:23:35.000 Your education.

00:23:36.000 Guys, pay a little bit of attention in school.

00:23:39.000 Where are tulips from?

00:23:41.000 I don't know if they ever told us that.

00:23:44.000 Tulip.

00:23:45.000 Here we go.

00:23:46.000 Tulip, blah, blah, blah.

00:23:48.000 Doopy-doopy-doo.

00:23:51.000 Oh, fuck.

00:23:54.000 Anyway, wherever that's from, her family's from, right?

00:23:57.000 And they starved so much that their bodies, the people who couldn't do this died.

00:24:03.000 And the ones who survived the two world wars were able to need almost no food to survive.

00:24:09.000 So Audrey Hepburn could have like a stick of rice, like a rice krispie a day and be fine.

00:24:14.000 That's why she was so thin.

00:24:15.000 It was a genetic freak result of the world wars.

00:24:21.000 And her ancestors ended up with the opposite problem and all suffered from severe obesity.

00:24:26.000 A geneticist told me that.

00:24:30.000 Belgium.

00:24:30.000 Belgium, that's it.

00:24:32.000 But by the way, go back to Audrey Hepburn because she has that nostrils thing that Sophia Loren had that was very popular.

00:24:39.000 I'm getting over it.

00:24:42.000 It's a little too bird-like for me.

00:24:44.000 She looks very girlish.

00:24:46.000 She does.

00:24:46.000 She's too far.

00:24:47.000 She's very, very feminine.

00:24:49.000 And Jane Mansfield was not looking that feminine to me.

00:24:52.000 She looked like one of the guys.

00:24:54.000 She's like, hey, boys.

00:24:56.000 She is pretty fucking incredible.

00:24:57.000 Who are we kidding?

00:24:58.000 Tobacco voice.

00:24:58.000 You know who is an absolute dog?

00:25:04.000 That, oh, come up and see me sometime.

00:25:08.000 What's her name again?

00:25:10.000 Of course, Ryan.

00:25:11.000 I learned it from you.

00:25:13.000 So she was known as a brassy broad.

00:25:18.000 She kind of invented the brassy broad.

00:25:21.000 Mae West, M-A-E-W-E-S-T.

00:25:24.000 She was the first sort of pin-up woman.

00:25:26.000 And I remember I used to do imitations to make my parents laugh.

00:25:29.000 Like, come on, big boy, peel me out.

00:25:31.000 Gripe.

00:25:32.000 That's how she talked.

00:25:32.000 And she was like the first feminist, the first badass.

00:25:36.000 And that's funny and everything.

00:25:37.000 And it was a cool, she was like the Oscar Wilde of chicks.

00:25:39.000 I looked her up recently and I was like, holy fuck, you were hideous.

00:25:43.000 Yeah.

00:25:46.000 Not looking great.

00:25:48.000 What are you on?

00:25:48.000 Daily Motion?

00:25:49.000 Yeah, I'm trying to get a clip of her talking her guff.

00:25:52.000 This is her on Mystery.

00:25:54.000 That's your Ed.

00:25:55.000 Yeah.

00:25:56.000 Hey there, you big horse.

00:25:58.000 My calling card.

00:26:00.000 The queen of hearts.

00:26:02.000 Thank you so much.

00:26:05.000 Maybe that was the joke I'm missing out here.

00:26:06.000 That she's gross.

00:26:07.000 That she's fat and ugly and thinks she's a little pew.

00:26:11.000 You've met my wife?

00:26:12.000 Yes.

00:26:13.000 Won't you sit down, honey?

00:26:15.000 You don't dare sit down in this gown.

00:26:17.000 It's standing room only.

00:26:19.000 I know you only have a few minutes, so why don't you step out of my office?

00:26:24.000 May, if you're watching and the joke was that you're not hot, then I apologize for not getting the joke.

00:26:29.000 Just a Randy Pig.

00:26:31.000 Hey, big boy.

00:26:32.000 Why don't you appeal me?

00:26:33.000 Great.

00:26:33.000 Should we go back to the Discord, or should we take a call?

00:26:36.000 We could take...

00:26:38.000 I'm going to have to...

00:26:43.000 What are those?

00:26:44.000 Yes.

00:26:44.000 Are they pajamas?

00:26:46.000 It's called a co-op.

00:26:48.000 I mean, it's called a co-ord.

00:26:50.000 Co-ord.

00:26:51.000 It's a two-piece men's set.

00:26:55.000 So it's the top with the magic bottoms.

00:26:58.000 Yeah, we saw them.

00:27:00.000 But it's called a what?

00:27:02.000 Either a co-ord, like a coordinating thing, two-piece, or like a two-piece.

00:27:07.000 You could buy these yourself.

00:27:11.000 Well, we're not going to get lunch together.

00:27:15.000 What do you mean?

00:27:15.000 I cannot be seen with you.

00:27:18.000 It's worse.

00:27:19.000 It's not just so much that it would hurt me, but it would hurt the town.

00:27:23.000 Yeah, this was a big running joke.

00:27:27.000 What's that called?

00:27:28.000 I wore it on CR-TV.

00:27:31.000 A jumper.

00:27:32.000 Yeah, a romper.

00:27:34.000 Romper.

00:27:34.000 No, rompers are different.

00:27:36.000 You're wearing a romper, dude.

00:27:37.000 No rompers are one piece.

00:27:39.000 Yeah, well, you're a few stitches away from a fucking romper.

00:27:43.000 Yes, correct.

00:27:43.000 And men wearing rompers was the big joke of 2019.

00:27:47.000 Everyone was laughing their heads off.

00:27:49.000 That's you.

00:27:50.000 You're literally a joke.

00:27:51.000 Well, don't tell me that.

00:27:54.000 I mean, I like to take myself as seriously as possible.

00:27:57.000 So this was really off-brand, and now I'm hurt.

00:28:00.000 No, now he's trying to pretend it's a joke.

00:28:02.000 Like, was the suit you were wearing yesterday a big joke suit?

00:28:05.000 Was that a comedy tie?

00:28:06.000 I like LARPing.

00:28:07.000 Like, this is hilarious.

00:28:09.000 This is good.

00:28:10.000 And it looks good.

00:28:11.000 It looks fucking gay.

00:28:13.000 You look like you're in drag.

00:28:14.000 It looks rad.

00:28:16.000 David, you could agree with me here.

00:28:17.000 Come on, David.

00:28:20.000 Hold on a second.

00:28:21.000 It takes...

00:28:25.000 Hey, guys, how's it going?

00:28:26.000 Good.

00:28:26.000 How you doing?

00:28:29.000 Doing fine.

00:28:29.000 Hey, Hot Woman, my wife makes me watch this show called This Is Us.

00:28:34.000 It's a big cry fest.

00:28:36.000 But Mandy Moore plays like a late 70s housewife, stays at home.

00:28:41.000 It's the most understated, hottest thing.

00:28:43.000 Want to get your take?

00:28:45.000 All right, let's check it out.

00:28:47.000 So don't just look at Mandy Moore.

00:28:48.000 We want Mandy Moore from This Is Us.

00:28:50.000 This is Us, yes.

00:28:51.000 Yeah, maybe even the character's name would be better.

00:28:53.000 Oh, yeah, that's, you know, there's something about women with kids that are housewives where your brain goes, I know everything works.

00:29:02.000 Like when you see a junkie, you go, we can't breed with that.

00:29:06.000 It's going to die.

00:29:06.000 Or when you see a big fat pig, maybe one of the reasons, oh, that's a rough picture of her.

00:29:11.000 Maybe one of the reasons that fat is unattractive is that you look at that person, you go, I don't know if she could make a baby.

00:29:20.000 I don't know if she could breed.

00:29:21.000 I don't know if this shit works.

00:29:22.000 But when you see this and they've got things coordinated and they've got the kids' markers ready for school and stuff, you go, this is a person I could spend the rest of my life with.

00:29:34.000 She's obviously functional and I have a boner.

00:29:39.000 Now, what are you doing?

00:29:41.000 Absolutely.

00:29:42.000 She looks a lot like John Lee Guizamo in this picture.

00:29:44.000 What?

00:29:44.000 No, she does not.

00:29:45.000 All right, thanks for calling, buddy.

00:29:48.000 Yeah, I like seeing housewives.

00:29:50.000 Not when they're wearing like fucking crocs and sweatpants and all that shit, but there is something very attractive about a housewife.

00:29:56.000 It's a sin.

00:29:57.000 You know another one that's weird?

00:29:59.000 I don't know why this is.

00:30:00.000 Anchor women.

00:30:02.000 If I see a six doing the news, she's an eight.

00:30:06.000 Maybe it's because it looks like she doesn't need me and she has her shit together and she's organized.

00:30:11.000 Or maybe it's because they're just done up and stuff or they look smart.

00:30:14.000 I don't know what it is.

00:30:15.000 But anchor women get a pass.

00:30:17.000 All right, next caller.

00:30:18.000 Are you there?

00:30:20.000 Charlie.

00:30:21.000 Hey.

00:30:22.000 Hey, man.

00:30:23.000 Hey, thanks to you and Owen Benjamin.

00:30:26.000 I am off porn and off beating off for the last six months.

00:30:32.000 Aren't you just a happier person?

00:30:36.000 So much happier.

00:30:37.000 It's unbelievable.

00:30:38.000 Thankful every day, just like walking around whistling.

00:30:42.000 It's unbelievable.

00:30:44.000 I couldn't imagine watching fucking runaways again.

00:30:48.000 It disgusts me.

00:30:49.000 I feel permanently like I always felt after I ejaculated.

00:30:53.000 Now, are you in a relationship?

00:30:57.000 I got married a month after I stopped watching porn.

00:31:02.000 You son of a bitch.

00:31:04.000 So now your wife is just constantly pursued.

00:31:07.000 You guys are in the honeymoon phase of your marriage and just fucking...

00:31:14.000 Yeah, we're not trying, but we're going to start really giving it to her.

00:31:21.000 And being good at it.

00:31:23.000 Yeah, you know.

00:31:24.000 No protection, no pulling out, no nothing.

00:31:27.000 It feels so much better when you're fucking to make a baby.

00:31:31.000 It's just like you're more in tune with God and nature.

00:31:36.000 Oh, yeah, it's the best.

00:31:38.000 But back from my porn days, I have one, she's not a porn star, but somebody that for some reason, looking at her at first, you say seven, but for some reason, the more I saw her in music videos and stuff, she like turned into like this like gross, but in a dirty hot way, into like an 8.5.

00:32:02.000 It's the weirdest thing.

00:32:03.000 Charlie XCX.

00:32:06.000 Okay, well we will dig her up.

00:32:09.000 Flip her up.

00:32:10.000 Thank you very much for calling.

00:32:11.000 I remember her, Charlie XCX.

00:32:14.000 But she wasn't a porn star.

00:32:15.000 She was a musician, right?

00:32:16.000 No, no, no.

00:32:17.000 He's not saying that.

00:32:18.000 But he's saying, you know, he doesn't wank off anymore, but he would to her.

00:32:21.000 Now we're looking at a man's wink material.

00:32:24.000 That's kind of weird.

00:32:26.000 That's not interesting.

00:32:27.000 But yeah, Charlie XCX.

00:32:29.000 You know, it's better To see videos of chicks, Ryan.

00:32:35.000 Yeah, are you like that chick I opened the show with?

00:32:39.000 You saw a picture and you're like, very pretty.

00:32:40.000 But when you see her move around and her dopey eyes, you're just like, holy penis pumps.

00:32:44.000 Dopey eyes.

00:32:45.000 Put it on our dancing shoes.

00:32:48.000 Going to the discotheque.

00:32:50.000 Getting high and getting crazy.

00:32:52.000 I don't want to go to school.

00:32:54.000 Getting hard and getting wet.

00:32:58.000 Trashy.

00:32:58.000 That's why he thinks he's trashy because the word trashy is in her video.

00:33:04.000 i am the king it says You notice the difference between this and legs?

00:33:15.000 Like, legs, the girls were kind of silly and tough and to a fault.

00:33:20.000 I don't really like that.

00:33:21.000 But this is even more like, like, I'm a brat.

00:33:24.000 I'm a fucking bitch.

00:33:25.000 I'm cool.

00:33:26.000 Yeah.

00:33:27.000 I don't really agree with the caller on that one.

00:33:29.000 That was not my cup of tea.

00:33:30.000 Very young looking, too.

00:33:32.000 He said she's a grower.

00:33:33.000 He said that after a while.

00:33:35.000 Oh, I see.

00:33:36.000 Back from my days of watching porn, my favorite was a young Ava Devine.

00:33:41.000 Ava Dine?

00:33:42.000 Pull that up.

00:33:44.000 Avad.

00:33:45.000 And make sure you get young because times have changed.

00:33:53.000 But I found back when I would watch porn that I would almost get monogamous with it.

00:33:58.000 Careful, don't show like disgusting porn stuff.

00:34:00.000 I'm not trying to.

00:34:01.000 We have the save search on.

00:34:02.000 This is, they're all clothed.

00:34:04.000 Oh, cool.

00:34:04.000 But I think.

00:34:06.000 Yes.

00:34:07.000 Find me one then.

00:34:08.000 Let's go strict.

00:34:11.000 And nothing comes up.

00:34:13.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:34:13.000 Just a picture of a bird that's named Ava Devon.

00:34:18.000 Okay, let me see.

00:34:19.000 What do we got?

00:34:20.000 She's from Long Island.

00:34:21.000 Now that's too long island.

00:34:23.000 This is grossing me out.

00:34:24.000 This is not.

00:34:25.000 Yeah, porn stars aren't.

00:34:26.000 We don't count them as people.

00:34:27.000 Yeah, it turns off.

00:34:28.000 But, you know, we were talking earlier about women who don't necessarily seem hot, but there's just something about them that drives you nuts.

00:34:34.000 And that's the eastbound and down chick I was doing.

00:34:36.000 But you might not agree with this, but Tiffany Hadish has something very elusive about her.

00:34:45.000 No?

00:34:46.000 Why are you laughing?

00:34:47.000 Just coming up with a couple jokes that I would never say.

00:34:54.000 Okay.

00:34:54.000 Because they're mean.

00:34:56.000 I know what you mean, though.

00:34:58.000 She seems like a fun person.

00:34:59.000 That's not a great picture, but there's something quirky about her.

00:35:02.000 Yeah, that's maybe it.

00:35:03.000 Her man shoulders.

00:35:04.000 Well, that's not the best either.

00:35:06.000 Again, video.

00:35:08.000 It's like her attitude, right?

00:35:10.000 Her bitchy attitude.

00:35:11.000 I don't know if I find that attractive, though.

00:35:15.000 But I just, I see her in trailers sometimes, and I'm thinking, I can see why Kevin Hart books her for everything.

00:35:22.000 You guys take Walmart.

00:35:25.000 Why did you cut away from me?

00:35:26.000 Hey, I'm Tiffany Haddish, and this is everything I eat in a day.

00:35:32.000 I'd be funny if it was just like seven cheeseburgers, lasagna, fried chicken.

00:35:37.000 Usually I stretched my hands and I say, oh, I made it to another day.

00:35:43.000 New chance for new beginnings.

00:35:45.000 All right, that is very nice.

00:35:46.000 All right, I sent you two emails from guys.

00:35:49.000 One of them was an Instagram chick, and the other was about this show today.

00:35:55.000 Okay.

00:35:57.000 Wait, no, that's a different one.

00:35:58.000 Oh, no, that's one yet.

00:35:59.000 That's a fucking bunch.

00:36:01.000 All right.

00:36:01.000 Okay, let's see what he's got.

00:36:03.000 It's froze up for a second.

00:36:04.000 Here we go.

00:36:05.000 So this was from a viewer named There we go.

00:36:12.000 That looks like a Landa Del Rey type.

00:36:14.000 Okay, this is an interesting conundrum because you can reach a level of beauty where you break it.

00:36:21.000 You're not affected by it anymore.

00:36:22.000 Yeah, it goes through the glass ceiling.

00:36:24.000 And it might be because I never got chicks that hot.

00:36:28.000 So what you do is, just like Audrey Hepburn's genetic code managed to process just a tiny bit of food and keep them skinny, maybe my brain said, look, you're never getting a Lila blue.

00:36:40.000 So let's make you into more ethnically ambiguous, kind of slightly chubbies.

00:36:45.000 You know what it's kind of like.

00:36:46.000 And then, you know, you get enough food.

00:36:48.000 Good, good, at it.

00:36:50.000 It's like you put a, like what they would consider a perfect nose or whatever.

00:36:50.000 You know what it's kind of like?

00:36:55.000 You put all these things together.

00:36:56.000 It's almost like if you wear like Gucci shoes, Louis Vuitton shirt.

00:37:00.000 Yeah.

00:37:00.000 It doesn't mean it coordinates.

00:37:01.000 Yeah, but also bogus looking.

00:37:03.000 Says the guy wearing a co-ord.

00:37:05.000 It's also like a super group.

00:37:07.000 So you got Roy Orbison and remember that band that had the Traveling Wilbury's.

00:37:14.000 They were good though.

00:37:17.000 You like Steely Dan all of a sudden.

00:37:21.000 Yeah, those super groups, they got all the right ingredients.

00:37:23.000 They always have a name like Snapchat microphone or like what was it?

00:37:28.000 Revolver, Velvet Revolver.

00:37:31.000 Something nice, but also Snappy.

00:37:33.000 Like booby bear trap.

00:37:36.000 Chickenfoot.

00:37:38.000 That's one of them.

00:37:38.000 Oh, really?

00:37:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:39.000 And you listen to them and you go, these guys suck.

00:37:42.000 So Lila Blue, I understand everything is perfect, dude.

00:37:46.000 Go back to those pictures, Ryan.

00:37:48.000 Okay, well, I opened up the other ones because I thought we had demeaned her.

00:37:52.000 Everything is great with Lila Blue.

00:37:53.000 And obviously, if that was, you know, my girlfriend, I'm walking down the street, people will go, holy shit, how did you get her?

00:38:01.000 But I also know that I'm going to leave this picture and never think of it again.

00:38:05.000 That machete chick is burned in my retina.

00:38:10.000 Okay, so now he goes down deeper and he brings up the chick who was married to Steven Seagal, who was in Weird Science, who is an insane smokeshow.

00:38:21.000 Girls don't really have curly hair anymore.

00:38:23.000 Have you noticed that?

00:38:24.000 Yeah.

00:38:25.000 That was very common in the 80s.

00:38:27.000 Now they got to straighten it right away.

00:38:29.000 Maybe it's an anti-Semitic thing.

00:38:31.000 So what would you say she is in the movie Weird Science?

00:38:36.000 Let's see the video, right?

00:38:38.000 Sure.

00:38:39.000 What the hell is it?

00:38:40.000 Weird Science Girl.

00:38:41.000 What is her name?

00:38:42.000 I don't know.

00:38:43.000 Do you know the movie Weird Science?

00:38:44.000 No.

00:38:45.000 Well, actually, I know it.

00:38:46.000 I never seen it.

00:38:48.000 Instead of playing video games, you should probably catch up on some classics just so you can be part of the show.

00:38:54.000 You know what Ryan was doing yesterday?

00:38:56.000 We don't care.

00:38:57.000 I FaceTimed him because he doesn't answer his phone.

00:39:00.000 And I could see in the background, he was playing a video game where he was a woman.

00:39:05.000 Yeah.

00:39:05.000 So he's wearing woman's pajamas today.

00:39:08.000 Oh, her face is pretty intense.

00:39:11.000 Intense.

00:39:13.000 It's okay.

00:39:13.000 Just sit here.

00:39:14.000 I'll take care of this.

00:39:15.000 Is she British?

00:39:16.000 Yes, marry.

00:39:17.000 You get the hell out of here before I throw you out.

00:39:20.000 Don't threaten me, owl.

00:39:22.000 You're out of shape.

00:39:23.000 I'll kick your ass.

00:39:25.000 I'm going to make this real easy for you.

00:39:29.000 Look at her hair.

00:39:30.000 I'm taking Gary to a party.

00:39:33.000 Over my dead body.

00:39:35.000 He's a good kid.

00:39:37.000 He studies hard.

00:39:39.000 You've got no complaints.

00:39:41.000 He gets a bit much with the 80s, but I think that's a nine.

00:39:47.000 Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about?

00:39:53.000 Lila Blue and then Super Groups.

00:39:56.000 No, you always do this.

00:39:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:58.000 He's playing a video game where he's a woman.

00:40:00.000 Yeah.

00:40:01.000 What's it called?

00:40:02.000 I'll show you right now.

00:40:04.000 It's called Horizon Zero Dawn.

00:40:05.000 And I go, why didn't you just choose the male guy?

00:40:07.000 And he goes, you can't.

00:40:08.000 I go, so you're playing a woman's video game where he has a nice ass and a beautiful thin waist, voluptuous breast.

00:40:16.000 No, she's actually very conservative.

00:40:19.000 And she wears Viking garb.

00:40:21.000 Yeah, sexy Viking garb, dude.

00:40:23.000 You know, she's pretty.

00:40:25.000 She's not sexy.

00:40:26.000 She's not pretty hot or sexy.

00:40:28.000 Look, look at that.

00:40:29.000 Her face is a bit.

00:40:29.000 You look up her skirt when she does a flip.

00:40:31.000 That's Ryan's game.

00:40:33.000 I'm looking at my enemy.

00:40:34.000 First of all, it's a video game.

00:40:35.000 That's Ryan Katsu Rivera.

00:40:39.000 Gorgeous.

00:40:41.000 You're not a sexy woman.

00:40:42.000 You're a gorgeous woman.

00:40:43.000 That is a four-word.

00:40:46.000 I was a butch chick.

00:40:48.000 She looks like Ronda Rabbit.

00:40:48.000 Yeah, look at her.

00:40:49.000 Listen to his argument, folks at home.

00:40:51.000 The chick that I was pretending I was wasn't even that sexual.

00:40:55.000 And I will be pretending.

00:40:55.000 Yes, she was wearing a leather crop top, but she was kind of butch.

00:40:59.000 I'm basically a butch chick.

00:41:01.000 She's showing no sexual.

00:41:02.000 Okay, nice argument.

00:41:04.000 Ryan's a butch chick.

00:41:05.000 She's showing zero midriff, just some arms.

00:41:08.000 Okay, this is a, we're sort of jumping ahead to the mailbag, but not really.

00:41:12.000 This is a letter we got from a guy named Bill.

00:41:14.000 I've been a fan of you again for a few years, but after yesterday's show, which is now, I think, two days ago, where you question the appeal of tits, I'm seriously considering unsubscribing out of spite.

00:41:25.000 How could an, in brackets, alleged, heterosexual male not love breasts?

00:41:32.000 I include here the most extraordinary beauty currently bouncing on earth as evidence.

00:41:36.000 Her name is Adriani Fenice.

00:41:40.000 The feed stopped for whatever reason.

00:41:42.000 Somebody just emailed about that.

00:41:45.000 So it's back up now.

00:41:46.000 Okay.

00:41:47.000 Well, how long was it down for?

00:41:49.000 I mean, bad feed today.

00:41:49.000 I don't know.

00:41:51.000 You got 1239.

00:41:52.000 Okay, 30.

00:41:53.000 I got that at 39 after.

00:41:56.000 Okay, so that means it probably went down at like 1235.

00:41:58.000 Maybe like 15 minutes-ish.

00:42:00.000 Yeah, for fuck's sakes.

00:42:01.000 But we have all this recording.

00:42:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:04.000 And the people in Discord can hear this.

00:42:07.000 If you don't think she's a perfect 10, then you, sir, are what we call a faggot.

00:42:07.000 All right.

00:42:12.000 And then he shows us Adriana.

00:42:14.000 This is Bill, right?

00:42:15.000 Geomel and Bill.

00:42:16.000 Yep.

00:42:17.000 Oh, this is bananas.

00:42:19.000 He likes this?

00:42:22.000 This isn't.

00:42:23.000 Remember I said that a hot chick was a circus freak?

00:42:24.000 It's like a freak show, boy.

00:42:26.000 This is another circus freak.

00:42:27.000 These are the elephants in the room.

00:42:30.000 Like, don't get me wrong.

00:42:31.000 I'm not going to kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

00:42:33.000 And I've had four beers and I'm going six beers and I'm going home alone.

00:42:36.000 This is going to be a hell of a night.

00:42:38.000 She looks like your Dutch neighbor.

00:42:40.000 No, she's very, very pretty, Ryan.

00:42:42.000 Face-wise, that's an eight.

00:42:45.000 Too doughy.

00:42:46.000 To be an eight?

00:42:46.000 What?

00:42:47.000 Too doughy.

00:42:50.000 You know, when you say there's she's too many strong features, she doesn't have enough strong features.

00:42:54.000 That's not true.

00:42:55.000 You're not looking at enough pictures.

00:42:56.000 And her eyebrows are too thick.

00:42:58.000 Her eyebrows are too thick.

00:42:59.000 You're making me mad.

00:43:00.000 She has bulldog jowls.

00:43:02.000 Okay, now I'm getting genuinely angry.

00:43:04.000 But show fucking pictures.

00:43:07.000 We're talking about tits and hot chicks, and you have me.

00:43:10.000 Why did you leave the Instagram page?

00:43:12.000 To get from the email, which I was looking at, to the Instagram page.

00:43:17.000 That first picture doesn't look like her.

00:43:19.000 It's not.

00:43:20.000 That might not be her, no.

00:43:21.000 Follow my wifey, I see.

00:43:23.000 Like, come on.

00:43:23.000 Oh, my God.

00:43:27.000 This is not healthy either.

00:43:29.000 Like, she's going to have serious back problems.

00:43:31.000 Like two human torsos meeting to be one.

00:43:34.000 That would be great for one night, but that's just, come on, that's just ridiculous.

00:43:39.000 And it's kind of embarrassing.

00:43:41.000 Like, you know the show Pimp My Ride?

00:43:43.000 I've always said I would be embarrassed to have one of those cars in my driveway.

00:43:48.000 Like a green car with a DJ booth in the trunk and like a swimming pool on the front and flames going up the side.

00:43:55.000 This is kind of embarrassing to take her out.

00:43:57.000 You'd have to make her wear a pea coat everywhere you went.

00:44:01.000 Yeah, come on, dude.

00:44:02.000 Are you nuts?

00:44:03.000 Ridiculous.

00:44:04.000 This is P.T. Barnum material.

00:44:06.000 Fucking P.T. Barnum.

00:44:08.000 All right, let's take a call.

00:44:09.000 All righty, let's go back to the...

00:44:18.000 The Discord.

00:44:21.000 Okay, we got a call from Amers.

00:44:24.000 Hey, guys.

00:44:26.000 Hey, Gavin.

00:44:28.000 I was just going to ask you, because I know you watch Howard Stern.

00:44:33.000 And sorry, there's a lot of echo, but.

00:44:37.000 What did you feel about when Howard Stern, when he like always judges girls and stuff?

00:44:43.000 And they strip down to their bikinis.

00:44:47.000 And they, like, a lot of them that he loves, like, they're very skinny and they don't have like any shape to them.

00:44:56.000 So I was wondering what you think about that.

00:44:58.000 Like, why would he be like, oh, she's a 10 or she's so hot?

00:45:02.000 But reversely, if she has a booty, he's like, ugh, no, I don't want that booty.

00:45:07.000 So what do you think about that?

00:45:07.000 No.

00:45:08.000 Yeah, it's why you don't like the butt chick.

00:45:11.000 It sounds like, and I do listen to that all the time.

00:45:14.000 And you're talking more vintage stern, but it sounds like he's low T. He's low T. He likes his woman skinny and small and weak.

00:45:24.000 And I think it's the girls that rejected him in high school over in, where was it, Rockland County, Rochester in Long Island, and he never got laid.

00:45:33.000 Then he got popular, and sort of like Robert Crum, there seems to be an element of revenge in their lust where it's not benevolent.

00:45:41.000 It's like, you fucking bitch, where were you when I wasn't fucking famous?

00:45:45.000 Like, they want to get revenge.

00:45:46.000 And I also think he's creepy about it.

00:45:50.000 Like the way he goes, I heard a vintage episode just yesterday in the car, and it was Fiona Apple.

00:45:55.000 And he's like, you got a crop top on there?

00:45:58.000 You want a crop top for Howard Stern?

00:46:00.000 And she goes, yeah, I knew that you'd want to see that.

00:46:01.000 And he goes, your stomach is as flat as a board.

00:46:05.000 And I just thought, what a weird thing to say.

00:46:08.000 Like, what's your problem with a bit of a gunt?

00:46:11.000 Unless you're a pussy.

00:46:13.000 So, yeah, I don't like his lust.

00:46:15.000 It smells like revenge of the nerds to me.

00:46:18.000 I think what we do is a lot more loving.

00:46:22.000 It's quiet.

00:46:22.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.

00:46:26.000 Next.

00:46:28.000 All right.

00:46:28.000 Next call is from Rhesus Puffy.

00:46:32.000 Let's see.

00:46:35.000 All right, you're on.

00:46:37.000 Awesome.

00:46:38.000 Gavin, you need to realize the synergy between asses and boobs.

00:46:44.000 And I think that those can be displayed in Monica Bellucci from Matrix Reloaded and Christina Hendrix.

00:46:44.000 Thanks.

00:46:52.000 Thank you for your call.

00:46:54.000 That's an interesting point.

00:46:55.000 Have you noticed, by the way, that when you have big, great tits, there's often no ass involved.

00:47:02.000 Conversely, when a woman's ass is two bowling balls hanging out as best friends, the tits are rarely there.

00:47:11.000 It's like God doesn't want you to be spoiled.

00:47:14.000 It's very rare you have big tits and a big fat ass.

00:47:19.000 And by the way, another thing about body types that we should discuss is we don't really care how fat you are, and that includes cankles, if you pay your waist tax.

00:47:31.000 So your ass can be this and your tits can be that if your waist is that.

00:47:38.000 But if your ass is this and your waist is this, similarly, by the way, if you're a tiny person, you have a tiny ass in a tiny waist.

00:47:47.000 Well, now you're just a 12-year-old boy.

00:47:49.000 God, those dreads were so corny.

00:47:51.000 Yeah.

00:47:54.000 Wait, the dreads aren't in this one.

00:47:56.000 But yeah, they are corny.

00:47:57.000 I just saw them in that scene.

00:47:58.000 That's why I said the dreads.

00:48:00.000 The dreads.

00:48:02.000 So let's see, Monica.

00:48:04.000 No dreads.

00:48:06.000 What?

00:48:07.000 What are you saying, Ryan?

00:48:08.000 No dreads.

00:48:09.000 The dreads are in that, with that entourage.

00:48:11.000 One of the guys is white dreads.

00:48:13.000 He's cut off the screen now.

00:48:15.000 You think I thought Monica Bellucci had white dreads?

00:48:19.000 Are you not watching what I'm?

00:48:20.000 How did you miss that?

00:48:21.000 Why would I say the white dreads are corny?

00:48:23.000 Because you remember this movie?

00:48:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:25.000 Oh!

00:48:27.000 Wow, that's a big win for you, huh?

00:48:31.000 Next.

00:48:32.000 And who else did you say?

00:48:33.000 Christina Hendrickson?

00:48:35.000 I couldn't really see the ass in the tits in that clip, sir, but she is incredibly appealing.

00:48:41.000 And she looks pretty old.

00:48:43.000 And that's what I'm getting.

00:48:44.000 Maybe when I, one thing you'll notice young men is you see 30, like when you're 20, a 30-year-old is like ancient and a 40-year-old makes you want to barf and you're like, gross.

00:48:54.000 Then you get to be over 32, I'd say.

00:48:57.000 And all of a sudden, well, you don't find 16-year-olds attractive, but your range stays with like 19 and goes all the way up to 50.

00:49:07.000 You have, it just goes, your spectrum explodes.

00:49:10.000 I heard Steve Coogan mention it in the movie The Trip, where he goes, one day, you're just like, massive, wide range.

00:49:20.000 I didn't see Christina Hendrickson.

00:49:23.000 Christina Hendrix.

00:49:25.000 Oh, is that what he meant?

00:49:27.000 Yeah, she's great.

00:49:28.000 What is she?

00:49:30.000 And by the way, speaking of that woman who just called, Howard Stern would hate her.

00:49:36.000 That's way too much woman for him.

00:49:39.000 He couldn't handle that.

00:49:42.000 And it is a lot to handle in July when it's humid out, I got to admit.

00:49:45.000 Wow, that's a great shot of her.

00:49:47.000 What would we give her?

00:49:49.000 You're a tiny little monkey man.

00:49:51.000 I don't know.

00:49:52.000 You could just sort of scamper around her.

00:49:55.000 I could have her dress me in my rompers.

00:49:57.000 She probably wears bigger shoes than you.

00:49:59.000 I'm going to help buy my romps.

00:50:01.000 I'm going to give her a...

00:50:04.000 I think it's a very solid eight.

00:50:10.000 Which often happens with redheads.

00:50:12.000 That's an eight, though.

00:50:13.000 It's a dictionary definition eight, cover of eight magazine.

00:50:17.000 Solid eight.

00:50:18.000 In fact, we should put together a chart of what's a one, a two, a three, a four, a five.

00:50:23.000 Like definitive?

00:50:24.000 Yeah, and then she's like the definitive eight.

00:50:27.000 And Tarana Burke is a definitive three.

00:50:30.000 And then that's actually tricky.

00:50:32.000 What do you do like with a burn victim?

00:50:36.000 Or what if an eight gains a lot of weight?

00:50:39.000 Then they go down.

00:50:41.000 Right.

00:50:42.000 I don't think burn, if you have something like, well, what about a super hot chick in a wheelchair?

00:50:48.000 What about a super hot chick that stinks?

00:50:51.000 What about a super hot chick who has Kermit the frog legs because she's paralyzed from the waist down?

00:50:58.000 Well, then she's half freighted.

00:51:00.000 And then obviously people go, well, what about a 90-year-old?

00:51:02.000 If you're not sexually viable, you're not on the spectrum.

00:51:05.000 So no one says a five-year-old is a hot five-year-old, right?

00:51:09.000 So it starts at whenever their sexuality starts, depending on that particular state.

00:51:14.000 17 is probably the youngest you could go.

00:51:16.000 And it ends around when like 60, I would say.

00:51:22.000 Couldn't you say eight top five bottom?

00:51:26.000 Couldn't you say eight on top five on the bottom?

00:51:26.000 What?

00:51:30.000 I don't know.

00:51:30.000 I don't feel right including them.

00:51:33.000 It's cheating.

00:51:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:51:36.000 Yeah.

00:51:38.000 It sucks when the bottom rating is better than the top rating.

00:51:44.000 All right.

00:51:45.000 That's very mean.

00:51:46.000 Next call.

00:51:48.000 All right.

00:51:48.000 Next call is from Big Black Chalk.

00:51:52.000 Hey, man.

00:51:52.000 You're up.

00:51:54.000 Hey, Gavin.

00:51:55.000 Hey, dude.

00:51:57.000 So I have a Bombshell supermodel that's Absolutely going to change the way you think about Down syndrome.

00:52:06.000 Really?

00:52:06.000 I've never seen a hot one.

00:52:10.000 Her name is Madeline Stewart.

00:52:12.000 I emailed over some stuff to Mailbag.

00:52:15.000 Okay.

00:52:16.000 Madeline Stewart.

00:52:19.000 And why do you find her attractive?

00:52:21.000 I think it's illegal to fuck her, by the way.

00:52:24.000 I'm just going to look up for it.

00:52:26.000 Because what is your email name, by the way?

00:52:31.000 Hello?

00:52:32.000 You'll love it.

00:52:33.000 Got it.

00:52:34.000 All right, I just searched.

00:52:36.000 Madeline Stewart.

00:52:38.000 Oh, does she actually have Down syndrome?

00:52:41.000 Yeah.

00:52:41.000 Oh my, dude.

00:52:50.000 To have sex with someone with Down syndrome is, I think, illegal.

00:52:54.000 It's the future.

00:52:57.000 Thank you for calling.

00:52:58.000 The future is handicapped.

00:52:59.000 He's right.

00:53:00.000 Isn't that weird, though, that a person with Down syndrome is sort of denied their sexuality?

00:53:06.000 Yeah, thus their humanity.

00:53:07.000 Like, what about a 25-year-old person with Down syndrome?

00:53:11.000 They should be able to have sex with another Down syndrome person.

00:53:14.000 Well, that, yeah.

00:53:15.000 Shouldn't they?

00:53:16.000 Yeah.

00:53:17.000 I don't think they can get pregnant.

00:53:19.000 couldn't they?

00:53:26.000 So if you see a pregnant Down syndrome chick, it means she was raped by definition.

00:53:32.000 That's all Pat Dixon was trying to say when Bonnie McFarlane got pissed on that episode.

00:53:37.000 Where you stepped in and you brought the facts.

00:53:39.000 Well, he was stealing my joke.

00:53:42.000 Oh.

00:53:45.000 Go ahead.

00:53:49.000 Next, we got Ryan K. Ryan Kaye.

00:53:52.000 What's up, Ryan?

00:53:53.000 You're up.

00:53:57.000 Come on, man, Mikey.

00:53:59.000 Hey, Ryan, you're up.

00:54:01.000 Who, me?

00:54:07.000 Well, you blew it, Ryan.

00:54:10.000 All right.

00:54:11.000 That's all the calls we have right now.

00:54:12.000 Okay, let's go over to the message board, the switchboard.

00:54:19.000 All right.

00:54:20.000 His name is Doug.

00:54:22.000 Hey, Doug.

00:54:24.000 What's going on, guys?

00:54:26.000 I got one for each of you based on what you don't like.

00:54:30.000 Okay.

00:54:31.000 All right.

00:54:32.000 So for Gavin, Jillian Turner.

00:54:36.000 They're both from Fox News, too.

00:54:38.000 Jillian Turner from Fox News.

00:54:40.000 Okay.

00:54:41.000 And for Ryan, Susan Lee from Fox Business.

00:54:44.000 I don't like Asians, so I really don't like it.

00:54:46.000 But here we go.

00:54:47.000 Susan Lee.

00:54:50.000 All right, so this is you.

00:54:52.000 This is Jillian Turner.

00:54:54.000 Okay, I got beef with Jillian Turner.

00:54:56.000 Her personality annoys me because she's a Midwesterner, but she knows that sounds hokey.

00:55:02.000 And to avoid the Fargo thing, she has an affected Connecticut accent.

00:55:07.000 Where she tries to sound like a Kennedy, this sort of fancy chick from Connecticut.

00:55:18.000 You might be off a little bit.

00:55:21.000 Is the Secretary of Defense?

00:55:22.000 She's born in South Africa.

00:55:24.000 You just showed her.

00:55:25.000 As of now, Justice Ginsburg remains under close observation at George Washington's.

00:55:30.000 Close observation in downtown D.C. and assumed to be the minority party in the United States.

00:55:34.000 You show the fucking video charge.

00:55:37.000 He confirmed to reporters his meeting with the Saudi foreign minister Adil al-Jubair in Bahrain and reiterated.

00:55:43.000 As of this hour, the hospital is of this hour.

00:55:47.000 I'm not from the Midwest.

00:55:48.000 I'm actually kind of a very Northeastern kind of a girl.

00:55:53.000 I went to Yale with Ann Coulter.

00:55:57.000 So that affects my rating, but I'm not blind, so that's going to be...

00:56:04.000 We got to start doing points because they're all eights for you.

00:56:07.000 Your 8 scale is so all over.

00:56:09.000 8.2.

00:56:11.000 This one, I can guess Ryan's rating.

00:56:13.000 I think it's a 4.

00:56:14.000 A four?

00:56:15.000 Not a four.

00:56:16.000 You know what?

00:56:16.000 She's a five.

00:56:17.000 She's a 6.3.

00:56:19.000 You just jumped 2.3.

00:56:21.000 Yeah, 6.3 is fair because I'm going to say a very beautiful 6.1.

00:56:28.000 Thank you.

00:56:29.000 Thank you.

00:56:30.000 All right.

00:56:30.000 Thanks for your call, sir.

00:56:32.000 Interesting insight.

00:56:34.000 I don't want to go against your type.

00:56:35.000 I'm talking about this Asian thing for everybody.

00:56:38.000 What do you mean?

00:56:39.000 I don't like them.

00:56:40.000 Why don't you like them?

00:56:42.000 They're square.

00:56:43.000 Their face is too sharp.

00:56:44.000 Their skin is so smooth, it feels like porcelain.

00:56:47.000 Cool, so I'll rub one down or something.

00:56:50.000 Have you ever slept with an Asian?

00:56:52.000 Yeah.

00:56:53.000 Slept with an Asian?

00:56:54.000 I've known you two.

00:56:55.000 I've known you two.

00:56:57.000 As well.

00:56:58.000 You as well.

00:56:59.000 Sarah.

00:57:01.000 Wait, did we do Madeline Stewart?

00:57:02.000 Oh, yeah, we already did.

00:57:03.000 Sorry, that's the Down syndrome.

00:57:04.000 I should cross it off the list.

00:57:05.000 Go ahead, Sarah.

00:57:06.000 G-Dog.

00:57:07.000 Yo.

00:57:08.000 This is not Sarah.

00:57:09.000 Okay.

00:57:09.000 Oh.

00:57:11.000 The girl is Sarah McDaniel.

00:57:15.000 Sarah McDaniel.

00:57:18.000 Sarah McDaniel, yeah.

00:57:19.000 She has fucked up eyes, but she has like a cartoon body.

00:57:22.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:57:24.000 What the hell?

00:57:25.000 She a robot?

00:57:25.000 What is going on there?

00:57:26.000 I never heard of her before.

00:57:29.000 She looks like a cartoon.

00:57:31.000 You know what?

00:57:31.000 That's how you get to 10 status.

00:57:33.000 Oscar Wilde said, pretty is pretty, but only ugly can be beautiful.

00:57:38.000 Wow.

00:57:38.000 And she's enough of a freak that she's a 10.

00:57:46.000 What's her deal?

00:57:47.000 Is she an actress?

00:57:49.000 I think she's a model.

00:57:50.000 I found her on Instagram.

00:57:51.000 She goes by Krochi on Instagram, K-R-O-T-C-H-Y.

00:57:55.000 Oh, we just saw an article that say she's lying about her eyes, like she has a blue contact or something.

00:58:01.000 Heterochromia.

00:58:02.000 Heterochromia iridium derives from the old Greek word heteros, which means different, and chromus, which means color.

00:58:10.000 There are some or you're hazel to have it.

00:58:14.000 And one is green.

00:58:15.000 Yeah.

00:58:16.000 Brilliantly blue, and one is, and one is a hazel.

00:58:20.000 Yes.

00:58:20.000 When you were like a little girl, did you like it, or did you think I want to be like everybody else?

00:58:26.000 I didn't like it.

00:58:26.000 I don't like the way he talks to women.

00:58:28.000 I still, at times it's very annoying because I get asked a lot into other things about me.

00:58:35.000 Ooh, look at this.

00:58:36.000 Expose.

00:58:38.000 You saw it here first on GOML.

00:58:42.000 Expose, expose.

00:58:44.000 Her own dad calls her out.

00:58:47.000 Wait, wait.

00:58:48.000 Wait, go back, go back.

00:58:50.000 How else do people get exposed lying?

00:58:52.000 Exposed.

00:58:54.000 Stop.

00:58:55.000 What does it say?

00:58:56.000 You know the kind of person who, even if they're totally caught in a lie, keep lying forever?

00:59:02.000 My daughter with her real brown eyes.

00:59:05.000 Why would you be exposing your daughter's lie like that?

00:59:08.000 That was weird.

00:59:09.000 My daughter, Sarah, the homophobe.

00:59:11.000 Homophobe?

00:59:12.000 Jeez.

00:59:13.000 I guess because she has hetero eyes and she's homoiphobic.

00:59:18.000 Oh, I get it.

00:59:19.000 You know?

00:59:21.000 Sarah isn't sleeping with anybody, but her boyfriend, they've been together for years, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:59:25.000 Just come clean about the eyes.

00:59:26.000 Stop hurting other models by using their pics and saying it's her.

00:59:28.000 Reflect on the LGBT community in relationship.

00:59:30.000 Oh, maybe she is anti-gay because he keeps mentioning this stuff.

00:59:35.000 That's apparently her dad.

00:59:37.000 How weird for your dad to come at you on social media.

00:59:41.000 That doesn't fit in my head.

00:59:44.000 Like, I don't think I would come at anyone on social media in that way.

00:59:50.000 Coming at me, bro?

00:59:51.000 Well, I guess I would if they fucked me over.

00:59:55.000 If they fuck you with their heels on.

00:59:57.000 But your kids can't fuck you over.

01:00:01.000 We got Jace on.

01:00:03.000 What's up, Jace?

01:00:06.000 Hey, what's happening?

01:00:08.000 What's happening, boys?

01:00:09.000 What's happening, Gavin?

01:00:10.000 What's up, boys?

01:00:14.000 Mikey!

01:00:15.000 I love you guys so much.

01:00:22.000 Like, honestly, some of, like, your tats, obviously sick as shit, but, like, some of the stuff you say, do you ever get concerned genuinely that, like, I don't know, you might get in some kind of trouble, perhaps?

01:00:37.000 Yeah, constantly.

01:00:39.000 Again, this sounds like a setup.

01:00:41.000 Where's the zing?

01:00:44.000 I mean, there's no zing, brother.

01:00:46.000 I'm just like, when I see shit, this is so edgy, it's just like, I'm, I'm like, because most of the stuff I watch, it's like, well, they kind of tamp it down a little bit, but you go absolutely all out 100%.

01:00:57.000 And it's so fucking like, to me, it's just like, I would say pretty much badass as far as I'm concerned.

01:01:04.000 And pretty fucking cool.

01:01:06.000 All right.

01:01:07.000 Well, thank you for your call.

01:01:08.000 Appreciate that very much.

01:01:10.000 Your tattoos are cool as well.

01:01:12.000 Your tattoos, don't forget your tattoos, man.

01:01:15.000 Don't forget how cool they are.

01:01:17.000 Yeah.

01:01:17.000 Okay.

01:01:18.000 It sounds like, is that sarcasm?

01:01:20.000 A little bit of sarcasm there.

01:01:22.000 So he doesn't think your tattoos are cool?

01:01:23.000 So that's called opposite talk.

01:01:25.000 Sarcasm is opposite talk.

01:01:27.000 So when you don't think someone's cool, you call them up and tell them that they're edgy.

01:01:32.000 That had a very groiper vibe to it, didn't it?

01:01:35.000 Maybe.

01:01:36.000 Fontana, is this Fannin?

01:01:42.000 Yeah, it is.

01:01:43.000 Thanks for taking my call.

01:01:45.000 All right, you know, we do have to be talking about women that exist and not the ones that you met online in the comment thread.

01:01:51.000 I got one for you.

01:01:52.000 I emailed it to you, but you got to learn to accept the love.

01:01:55.000 Some guys are just gay for Gavin.

01:01:57.000 Some guys just really, they're new to it.

01:01:59.000 And they look at this and they go, what the fuck?

01:02:02.000 This is so fresh.

01:02:03.000 I'm over it.

01:02:04.000 All right, who's your chick?

01:02:05.000 Gavin.

01:02:05.000 Who's your chick?

01:02:07.000 Evelina Menarino.

01:02:10.000 I sent you some clips on her.

01:02:11.000 She's on Twitter as Alpha.

01:02:14.000 She's reporting.

01:02:16.000 All right.

01:02:16.000 Thank you for your call.

01:02:19.000 All right.

01:02:19.000 let me see if we can We're kind of running out of time here, and this thing is running its course.

01:02:29.000 And that guy making fun of me really hurt my feelings and killed my vibe.

01:02:36.000 Please don't kill my vibe.

01:02:40.000 Okay, I can't find his fucking.

01:02:42.000 Evelina Mannerina?

01:02:44.000 Just look her up then.

01:02:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:46.000 I'm going to have to do that.

01:02:49.000 Let me see what we got here.

01:02:51.000 This guy David says we're turning into narch.

01:02:53.000 I'm seeing a lot of people narcing.

01:02:55.000 Yeah, I'm seeing that too.

01:02:56.000 A lot of fucking tattletales.

01:02:58.000 You know, if you guys want to go to bars, here's a clue.

01:03:02.000 Bring a tool bag.

01:03:04.000 Put the tool bag on the bar and have a tool in your hand at all times.

01:03:09.000 Say you have a beer, have a hammer in your hand.

01:03:11.000 And then when these looky loose, nosy bitches peer in.

01:03:14.000 That can't be her.

01:03:16.000 That's a child.

01:03:17.000 Then you won't get in trouble.

01:03:19.000 Ew.

01:03:20.000 That can't be.

01:03:21.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to be attracted to children.

01:03:23.000 I'm not sure if anyone was told that.

01:03:26.000 I don't know if you have to.

01:03:29.000 Is my husband an idiot for teaching our children to call Himalayan salt himal yan salt instead of the actual pronunciation of Himalayan salt?

01:03:37.000 Yes.

01:03:37.000 Hamalan salt?

01:03:43.000 Bad feed, works now.

01:03:47.000 Some guy, has anyone heard from Gary?

01:03:49.000 No.

01:03:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:53.000 Maybe the future modeling is disabled.

01:03:57.000 What else do we got here?

01:04:00.000 Some chick's ass, thanks.

01:04:02.000 Farts.

01:04:03.000 Hot chick episode.

01:04:05.000 Savannah Hernandez.

01:04:06.000 Okay, this is from a woman named Doris.

01:04:09.000 Doris and her husband, Robert, in Florida.

01:04:11.000 They like us more than a friend, and they both nominate Savannah Hernandez from Infowars.

01:04:19.000 Yes, I would say Savannah.

01:04:24.000 Mexicans are doing very well today, by the way.

01:04:27.000 I think Savannah is, yeah, Ryan, that's Savannah Hernandez, who you've met many times.

01:04:35.000 I've met Savannah?

01:04:37.000 Holy fucking shit, this guy.

01:04:40.000 Yes, but shouldn't you just know the regulars at Infowars?

01:04:44.000 No.

01:04:45.000 Why not?

01:04:50.000 Tell me what to do and I'll do it.

01:04:51.000 I didn't feel like...

01:04:54.000 Like, instead of becoming a woman online and running around chasing dinosaurs, you Should know what Infowars is.

01:05:01.000 You should know who works there.

01:05:02.000 You should know that you just passed her.

01:05:03.000 There she is.

01:05:05.000 Savannah Hernandez.

01:05:07.000 Is she all Mexican?

01:05:08.000 There must be something else in there.

01:05:10.000 I think that's that could be 100% Mexican.

01:05:12.000 I think she's dating Owen Troyer.

01:05:14.000 Oh.

01:05:15.000 Lucky bastard.

01:05:16.000 Yeah, she is an absolute smoke show.

01:05:18.000 Let's find some video of her.

01:05:20.000 You're probably spending her name wrong, spelling her name wrong.

01:05:23.000 Do you know how to spell Savannah?

01:05:25.000 S-A-V-V-A-N-A-H.

01:05:29.000 But there are different ways to spell it.

01:05:32.000 I'm going to go with nine.

01:05:37.000 What, too high?

01:05:38.000 It's expected that the first wave of the day is set to arise.

01:05:48.000 I use my rating on the body, too.

01:05:50.000 I rate the whole package.

01:05:52.000 And for me, usually I found Mexican women to be disappointing.

01:05:57.000 So what do you give Savannah?

01:05:59.000 Based on her face, she's very pretty.

01:06:02.000 7.

01:06:03.000 Definitely not.

01:06:04.000 7.1.

01:06:05.000 9 seems a bit rich.

01:06:07.000 Okay, maybe.

01:06:08.000 8.87.

01:06:10.000 Wow.

01:06:10.000 Go to another video.

01:06:12.000 This is like a cell phone on a selfie stick.

01:06:16.000 And I've seen her in person, by the way, many times.

01:06:19.000 Savannah Hernandez.

01:06:21.000 I wish that was her choice.

01:06:22.000 Wouldn't you just go back instead of re-entering it?

01:06:26.000 This one looks pretty HD.

01:06:28.000 I'm about to go inside to city council right now and address Mayor Adler on the fact that Planned Parenthood is getting one donation.

01:06:35.000 She's very pretty.

01:06:36.000 She's got that Asian thing going on for her, too.

01:06:39.000 Like, some Mexicans are so Mexican they look Asian.

01:06:42.000 Like Selena.

01:06:44.000 You know, today, because we're going to go address the mayor on this, so hopefully.

01:06:48.000 That's cute.

01:06:49.000 You know, but right on into what I'm going to be talking about.

01:06:52.000 A nine should be like all woman.

01:06:54.000 You're like, holy moles.

01:06:59.000 A nine should involuntarily cause a gasp, at least.

01:07:04.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:07:05.000 You're right.

01:07:05.000 That's fair.

01:07:06.000 That's fair.

01:07:07.000 Like the woman in the beginning was a gasp.

01:07:12.000 I don't think all these letters.

01:07:14.000 Sorry, all these letters I'm going through are like karaoke.

01:07:18.000 There's no chick stuff.

01:07:19.000 And we want to make this a very, an extra special episode.

01:07:22.000 So let's clean out the call list and wrap up the show.

01:07:25.000 All right.

01:07:26.000 I think we got one call.

01:07:28.000 Mikey.

01:07:30.000 Oh, I know this guy.

01:07:31.000 This is Mikey, formerly of LA.

01:07:33.000 What's up, G-Doug?

01:07:34.000 Yo, what's up, G-Doug?

01:07:36.000 What's up, Ryga?

01:07:37.000 I got a question.

01:07:37.000 What's up, Do?

01:07:39.000 Another question, suggestion.

01:07:40.000 Can you guys look up Giselle Lynette?

01:07:43.000 Okay.

01:07:44.000 Giselle Lynette.

01:07:46.000 Right?

01:07:47.000 Why do you like her?

01:07:48.000 Yes.

01:07:50.000 It's my dream girl.

01:07:51.000 Is she on Instagram?

01:07:52.000 Is that what she is?

01:07:54.000 What would you?

01:07:55.000 She's on Instagram or you could Google search her.

01:07:57.000 What would you give her out of 10?

01:08:00.000 Nine points.

01:08:02.000 Whoa, that's a lot of gal.

01:08:05.000 That's definitely not suffering from the Howard Stern problem of not being enough lady.

01:08:10.000 Do you think those are real boobs?

01:08:13.000 I don't care.

01:08:17.000 I don't care.

01:08:18.000 Well, thanks for calling, dude.

01:08:18.000 All right.

01:08:21.000 We'll get to her in a second.

01:08:23.000 I want to read out a tweet that this woman said.

01:08:27.000 I hope I haven't said this on the show before, but she was talking about fake tits.

01:08:31.000 And I'm glad we came to this because I do care.

01:08:36.000 And I think it's just, first of all, it's sad when you see it.

01:08:42.000 Sad.

01:08:44.000 And it's so, okay, I can't find the tweet, but this one was saying, why would you want to telecast to the world your middlebrow sensibilities and take away your God-given tits, no matter how small they are, we're fine.

01:09:00.000 And replace them with some sort of like man-made stupid sodium bags.

01:09:07.000 And we can all tell.

01:09:08.000 And when you have no tits and you get them, you have these tits that are this far apart.

01:09:14.000 And when you see it on young women, you just go, what the fuck have you done?

01:09:17.000 Don't you picture surgery happening too?

01:09:19.000 Like bloody, bandaged.

01:09:20.000 Oh, you see those horrific scars?

01:09:22.000 Dude.

01:09:23.000 Just think, what?

01:09:24.000 Are you in porn?

01:09:25.000 What have you done?

01:09:27.000 We could have worked it out.

01:09:28.000 Oh, I was fat and I lost a lot of weight and they were droopers.

01:09:31.000 Yeah, no one over 30 has a problem with droopers.

01:09:34.000 That's a silly young man's problem.

01:09:37.000 We like it when you're on all fours and you have penises dangling.

01:09:40.000 That was too much of indecence.

01:09:42.000 Okay, go back to her.

01:09:42.000 Oh, you're right.

01:09:43.000 I want to check her out.

01:09:49.000 She's got kind of a young Hispanic sexy thing going.

01:09:53.000 I bet she's insanely short.

01:09:55.000 Like, even shorter than you almost.

01:09:58.000 I mean, I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.

01:10:01.000 Right.

01:10:01.000 Well, she's wearing a jumper here.

01:10:03.000 Or whatever I'm wearing.

01:10:05.000 A romper.

01:10:06.000 Yeah.

01:10:07.000 Let's see that one.

01:10:08.000 Which one?

01:10:09.000 God, that looks like it would be fun.

01:10:11.000 Which one?

01:10:11.000 Oh, sorry.

01:10:12.000 The one where she's leaning up against a chair.

01:10:17.000 Wow.

01:10:19.000 It's a little young.

01:10:21.000 A little short.

01:10:22.000 Problem with young and short is, thank God she has a big titan ass.

01:10:25.000 Hey, that's the one.

01:10:26.000 Look at the one in the bathing suit.

01:10:27.000 So I was saying you don't get this.

01:10:28.000 You don't get boobs and butts.

01:10:31.000 But you do, apparently.

01:10:34.000 What do you think?

01:10:36.000 I mean, you guys couldn't get married or you'd give birth to midgets.

01:10:39.000 Oh, I'm not happy with that.

01:10:41.000 What's your problem with it?

01:10:42.000 It's kind of trashy.

01:10:45.000 It doesn't look natural.

01:10:47.000 Even if it is natural, that's fine, but it's just like a rapper's wife.

01:10:52.000 Like this is T.I.'s wife or something.

01:10:55.000 I can't get down with it.

01:10:57.000 This is Wakaflaka's wife.

01:10:59.000 It's got the Jennifer Rabbit thing.

01:11:00.000 Like, that looks like a cartoon.

01:11:02.000 Like, come on, dude.

01:11:03.000 That's embarrassing.

01:11:04.000 I don't know.

01:11:05.000 It's just stupid.

01:11:06.000 Yeah, it's sort of like the Instagram chick with the giant hits.

01:11:08.000 Like, you just go.

01:11:11.000 I'm sure this bewilders absolute primal retards, but.

01:11:11.000 I don't know.

01:11:16.000 But also, it would be a great time.

01:11:19.000 Late at night.

01:11:19.000 Sorry, Mike.

01:11:22.000 But as far as, like, your girlfriend walking down the street and going to get coffee and stuff.

01:11:27.000 And then, like, having to follow her up after she, like...

01:11:39.000 Now, with sex, I think I would give that like an 8.6.

01:11:45.000 I mean, it looks like a wild ride, right?

01:11:48.000 But for a relationship, I don't know if I want to be dressed with a walk around with a wrapper midget keychain.

01:11:56.000 I mean, she looks like a keychain.

01:11:58.000 I wouldn't want to go into the bathroom when she was done.

01:12:01.000 She could probably stink up a bathroom.

01:12:03.000 Shut up.

01:12:04.000 She looks stinky.

01:12:05.000 She doesn't.

01:12:07.000 So.

01:12:09.000 But you have to combine the two to give a rating.

01:12:12.000 Oh, this is one of the toughest ones we've ever had.

01:12:15.000 Because if I give it like a six, then I'm gay.

01:12:18.000 Right?

01:12:19.000 No.

01:12:20.000 What would you give it?

01:12:22.000 I mean, do you think there's an empirical rating or a personal rating?

01:12:28.000 Just give it a rating, please.

01:12:31.000 Yet again, 7.

01:12:33.000 I think her features, her body features actually deduct.

01:12:36.000 Yeah, I see that.

01:12:38.000 You know?

01:12:42.000 Very young.

01:12:43.000 Rating is not easy.

01:12:44.000 I hope we're not looking at a 16-year-old right now, by the way.

01:12:47.000 I would be fine with it because I've not had one sexual thought.

01:12:50.000 That's one thing up in the burbs with all these teenagers back from, or, you know, not in high school.

01:12:57.000 So you see an ass in Lululemons jogging that used to be a housewife, and you're like, hello.

01:13:02.000 Holy shit, that's a 14-year-old.

01:13:04.000 Oh, my God.

01:13:05.000 Kid eats too much hormone chicken.

01:13:07.000 Too much chicken.

01:13:08.000 Yeah.

01:13:10.000 I'm going to go with that one.

01:13:11.000 I'm going to go with a.

01:13:17.000 I know this sounds crazy, but 7.5.

01:13:22.000 It's fine.

01:13:23.000 And I know you're going to put her up next to other 7.5s and she'll look totally different.

01:13:27.000 That's the crazy thing.

01:13:29.000 Something crazy.

01:13:30.000 About 7.5s.

01:13:31.000 Not a science, not an art.

01:13:32.000 I think we dragged that out a little too long.

01:13:35.000 I'm not sure that this subject lends itself to an entire show.

01:13:38.000 No one found me that chick.

01:13:41.000 Bright.

01:13:42.000 Let me check the mailbag.

01:13:44.000 No, I just checked it.

01:13:46.000 Barts.

01:13:48.000 All right.

01:13:49.000 Well, I'll find it tomorrow.

01:13:51.000 And I promise you I will dig it up.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 15, 2020

S02E151 - HOT CHICKS [2020-04-15 - S02E151 - HOT CHICKS]

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