Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E154 - THE SOPRANOS [2020-04-22 - S02E154

00:00:02.000 Hands up, who wants to die?

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Heaven!

00:00:20.000 Happy Birthday!

00:00:25.000 Black Supper Roddy!

00:00:31.000 There's Blix Bargel of Einsteiner Nurbotten on the guitars and Nick Cave on the vocals.

00:00:38.000 That was Nick Cave's first band, The Birthday Party.

00:00:42.000 Amazing band.

00:00:43.000 It's funny how Black Sabbath said they wanted to do horror music, but that music is scary.

00:00:50.000 Hands up!

00:00:51.000 Who wants to die?

00:00:55.000 They were the ones who had that song deep in the woods, where a dress floats down the well and it assumes the shape and the body of a little girl.

00:01:03.000 I recognize that girl.

00:01:04.000 She stumbled in some time last loneliness.

00:01:09.000 Fuck me.

00:01:11.000 I almost chose this song that I heard on KXP this morning by Grimes, who was Elon Musk's love interest, called 4am, but the beginning's too slow, and it's got to really come out of the gate if we're using it to intro the show.

00:01:27.000 It kind of reminds me of those remixes they used to do with the Kawali singer, Nusrat Fatah Ali Khan.

00:01:35.000 He did a song with Eddie Vedder.

00:01:37.000 Don't look it up.

00:01:39.000 But go back to that Grimes song.

00:01:41.000 just jump into the middle or even the last third because it builds up So when you hear the whole song as an entire package, it's good.

00:01:54.000 It's not as good as Ryan's awesome taste in music, though.

00:01:57.000 He was just showing me a badass chick singing for Hailstorm.

00:02:02.000 Hailstorm.

00:02:04.000 So I introduced you to all these interesting bands.

00:02:06.000 You can check out and go down the rabbit hole with the birthday party, then Nick Cave or Grimes has interesting stuff.

00:02:14.000 Or you could follow Ryan's root, the root of the single mom and the bored son.

00:02:21.000 This is what Ryan likes.

00:02:23.000 She's just got a great voice.

00:02:25.000 She's got a great voice, he says.

00:02:27.000 Who says that?

00:02:28.000 Let's rock.

00:02:30.000 I really like this band.

00:02:31.000 The chick who sings can really, she's got a great voice.

00:02:34.000 It's really rocking.

00:02:35.000 she belts It's Blueshammer.

00:02:49.000 You are literally a joke.

00:02:51.000 Your taste in music is in the movie Ghost World, where they're making fun of hard rocking bands.

00:02:58.000 I don't particularly like this song, but she belts.

00:03:00.000 She belts.

00:03:01.000 Oh my God.

00:03:02.000 It's a little too low.

00:03:03.000 Just imagine Ryan in the audience and she's like, wow!

00:03:05.000 And he's just like, whoa.

00:03:07.000 You really belted that song out, chick.

00:03:13.000 Is that Blueshammer right there?

00:03:18.000 Believe these people, but he at least turn off their stupid sports game until he's done playing.

00:03:27.000 No, that's not it.

00:03:28.000 Maybe it's a little after that?

00:03:36.000 This is Ryan's favorite band.

00:03:37.000 We're getting down in the Delta blues.

00:03:39.000 So get ready to rock your world.

00:03:41.000 Woo!

00:03:49.000 What do you think of this band?

00:03:55.000 You like blues hammers.

00:03:56.000 That's a good sound.

00:03:58.000 This is your taste of music.

00:04:00.000 Anyway, speaking of Matchbox 20, I've never heard of this comedian before.

00:04:05.000 Apparently, he's super famous.

00:04:06.000 He does this character called Gale, where he plays a housewife, who's like an overachieving housewife.

00:04:14.000 I'm not into characters.

00:04:16.000 I love Jim Norton.

00:04:18.000 I respect him deeply.

00:04:19.000 I'd blow him right now if he walked into the room.

00:04:22.000 And speaking of dicks, we have a very in-depth expose on that black dick meme later on the show.

00:04:31.000 And speaking of gay, we have, we need to get Fat Vito on today's show.

00:04:35.000 Now, you say you have his phone number.

00:04:36.000 I do.

00:04:37.000 Did you call him yet?

00:04:39.000 I've got his connection.

00:04:40.000 I think he's driving around right now, but we could get him.

00:04:43.000 Let's get him in his car.

00:04:44.000 I don't care.

00:04:45.000 All right, I'll let him know.

00:04:46.000 It's good audio in cars.

00:04:47.000 That's why many people do their little silly little videos there.

00:04:50.000 But anyway, yeah, Andrew Dice Clay, Chip Chipperson, just beat, like, just tell the truth.

00:04:57.000 Like Louis C.K. does.

00:04:58.000 That's funny to me.

00:04:59.000 That's the funniest thing.

00:05:00.000 Anyway, here he is not doing a character, talking about when he saw Matchbox 20, who he calls Matchbox Vain.

00:05:09.000 Vain is French for 20.

00:05:12.000 I saw Rob Thomas live in concert a while back.

00:05:15.000 That's the vocalist for Matchbox 20.

00:05:17.000 Kind of haunts me.

00:05:19.000 The show was going how you would expect.

00:05:21.000 And then towards the end, he claimed that Carlos Santana has called him every single night for the last 20 years.

00:05:33.000 It can't be so.

00:05:35.000 It can't be so.

00:05:37.000 Ah!

00:05:39.000 Every night?

00:05:41.000 The whole crowd, it was like a very American eagle crowd with a lot of families in carpenter jeans.

00:05:46.000 They were all behind him for most of it.

00:05:48.000 And then he dropped that and everyone was like, woo!

00:05:53.000 He's like, every night?

00:05:55.000 That can't be right.

00:05:56.000 It was like the lie of a child.

00:05:58.000 It was a child's lie.

00:05:59.000 It shows no understanding of another human being, the complexity of another human being's life.

00:06:05.000 Every night, Rob?

00:06:07.000 You're saying that since pre-Y2K, every single night?

00:06:12.000 Every single night, Carlos will tuck his guitar into his top bunk, climb down, take off his leather hat, get in the bottom bunk, and before settling down for a long winter's nap, he takes out his Android and he calls the lead singer of Matchbox Vault?

00:06:32.000 Every, I don't think, Rob, you got to scale that back, my guy.

00:06:36.000 I have a twin, and we take Tuesdays off.

00:06:42.000 I know feral children that grew up together in the mosque.

00:06:49.000 All they had was themselves and maybe a marmoset that they worshiped.

00:06:54.000 They were plucked out and put into Seattle.

00:06:58.000 And like, and even they talk only five nights a week.

00:07:03.000 Rob, you gotta, every night you in Santa on the blower?

00:07:09.000 You gotta back it up.

00:07:11.000 What?

00:07:12.000 Scale it back?

00:07:13.000 Every single night.

00:07:14.000 It's so true.

00:07:16.000 All the time, just say.

00:07:18.000 A lot.

00:07:20.000 Like, you'd have, imagine how madly in love you'd have to be to call someone every single fucking day.

00:07:25.000 That's honeymoon phase.

00:07:27.000 That's like you're scared she's going to leave you, phase.

00:07:33.000 All right, a little more rock talk before we start the show.

00:07:38.000 Oh, there they are hanging out.

00:07:42.000 What a goof he looks like.

00:07:43.000 He's just a moron.

00:07:45.000 I don't like using the word stupid, but he's just a dumb, stupid kid.

00:07:51.000 I bet Carlos Santana's really boring to talk to on the phone, too.

00:07:55.000 I would just keep wanting to correct his grammar.

00:07:58.000 No, it's roofs, not roofs.

00:08:00.000 You know, like I correct yours.

00:08:02.000 Beastie Boys.

00:08:04.000 I was watching some dumb clickbait thing, and they were talking about bands who hate their fans.

00:08:09.000 And I remembered, like, the Beastie Boys, their first album, Licensed to Ill, was a big party album.

00:08:15.000 They were party dudes.

00:08:16.000 They were punk rockers.

00:08:17.000 They had a great album, by the way, really good hardcore album called Polly Wog Stew.

00:08:21.000 And then they started getting into rap, and they had this sort of hyperbolic angle, but it was still them.

00:08:28.000 They weren't making fun of jocks.

00:08:30.000 But then they got older and they got more politically correct.

00:08:33.000 And Kathleen Hanna married one of them, and she's a big feminist.

00:08:39.000 So then they changed it and said, no, that was a joke.

00:08:42.000 Just like fucking Fat Vito when he gets caught at the gay club and he goes, it's a joke.

00:08:48.000 Guys, it's a joke.

00:08:51.000 So here they are saying that License to Ill was a goof.

00:08:55.000 Beastie Boys.

00:08:56.000 By now, the Beastie Boys have cemented their legacy as one of the most influential hip-hop acts of all time, stringing together album after album of pure genius for nearly three decades.

00:09:05.000 When you think of old school hip-hop, you no doubt think of Run DMC, Grandmaster Flash, and the Beastie Boys.

00:09:11.000 Or if you're one of those people, you think of you gotta fight for your right to party.

00:09:15.000 But that wasn't a unique song on the album, too.

00:09:18.000 They were all like that.

00:09:20.000 It's not like the rest were like, yo, what's up?

00:09:22.000 This is a hip-hop song, and I'm Grandmaster Flash, and that's what crazy rock song over there that we don't use anymore.

00:09:28.000 Rick Rubin said, stay rock, be white, and still rap.

00:09:33.000 You don't have to give up on your hardcore punk rock past.

00:09:37.000 And they went, okay.

00:09:38.000 And then they also said, get rid of the fat chick.

00:09:41.000 She's a bummer.

00:09:42.000 And they were like, no problem.

00:09:46.000 And they got rid of, I think her name was Kate.

00:09:48.000 And then she started Luscious Jackson.

00:09:50.000 And then they put her on their label as a sorry for kicking her to the curb.

00:09:55.000 So they were sexist.

00:09:56.000 You might not belong at a Beastie Boy show.

00:09:59.000 Initially meant as a satirical take on the dopey, brainless party songs of the era.

00:10:03.000 Well, the video is clearly exaggerating and they're having fun with it, but this is who they were.

00:10:09.000 Like Twisted Sisters, I Wanna Rock.

00:10:11.000 The Beastie Boys breakthrough hit unfortunately went on to define the early part of their career entirely.

00:10:17.000 Try as they may, they just couldn't quite escape the legions of backwards cap-wearing jocks who unironically loved what should be a joke song.

00:10:24.000 Mike D put it first when he said okay wait.

00:10:26.000 I just what was his name?

00:10:27.000 The guy with the beard who's like Big Zen?

00:10:29.000 Rick did I say call him Rick Ross?

00:10:32.000 Rick Rubin?

00:10:33.000 Rick Rubin.

00:10:34.000 I just saw him in the party scene.

00:10:35.000 We don't want to bother going back, but I just realized he's in that video partying.

00:10:40.000 He ruins bands.

00:10:42.000 When Rick Rubin is like shit Midas.

00:10:46.000 Since the Beastie Boys, every band he touches just their career ends.

00:10:53.000 Shit Midas.

00:10:54.000 And I quote, we might have reinforced certain values of some people in our audience when our own values were actually totally different.

00:11:01.000 There were tons of guys singing along to fight for your right who were oblivious to the fact that it was a total goof on them.

00:11:07.000 So all you jokes out there, the beastie boys are not fans of you.

00:11:11.000 Okay, so they were just kidding.

00:11:13.000 They were playing characters.

00:11:15.000 So how did they really party?

00:11:16.000 They just smoked pot like an animal house and talked to Donald Sutherland?

00:11:20.000 Was that how they partied?

00:11:22.000 Or did they grab women by the pussy and throw pies at them exactly like they did in the video?

00:11:29.000 this is a lead up to 1-5.

00:11:31.000 While you're staring at the old video there.

00:11:38.000 Everybody, everybody, everybody.

00:11:41.000 I guess this is a joke too.

00:11:44.000 Are they mocking jocks when they sign women's bellies?

00:11:47.000 And then put a pen.

00:11:54.000 And then what does he do?

00:11:56.000 God, I wish girls tore dressed like that.

00:11:58.000 Now he puts his hand down there and starts fingering her.

00:12:02.000 You know, like you do when you're making fun of jocks.

00:12:05.000 He's literally grabbing her by the pussy.

00:12:08.000 And she's laughing and loving it.

00:12:12.000 So stop lying.

00:12:13.000 And there's nothing to me.

00:12:18.000 You're allowed to be a douche, a stupid idiot.

00:12:21.000 That's what 20-year-old was designed for.

00:12:24.000 That's what rock and roll is designed for.

00:12:26.000 It's meant to simulate fucking.

00:12:26.000 It's got a beat.

00:12:28.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom, duna, duna, duna, dana.

00:12:32.000 It's all about partying and being an idiot.

00:12:34.000 If you can't be an idiot when you're 20, when can you be an idiot?

00:12:36.000 So don't rewrite history and pretend your youth was a mistake and you were just kidding.

00:12:42.000 You were a horny little kid.

00:12:44.000 Good.

00:12:45.000 Have fun.

00:12:46.000 This is what I hate about the late BC boys trying to eradicate this from their history.

00:12:50.000 It's anti-fun.

00:12:51.000 It's anti-color.

00:12:53.000 Yes, you were sexist.

00:12:55.000 Yes, you said fag.

00:12:59.000 Egg raid on Mojo.

00:13:01.000 That was a song on Polywog Stew about this bouncer named Mojo, who I know, big, huge black guy who collects punk seven inches.

00:13:09.000 And they couldn't come into the show if they didn't have money.

00:13:12.000 And the Beastie Boys didn't have money, so they couldn't come into the show.

00:13:14.000 So they would get mad and they would go buy eggs with what little money they had and whip him at him.

00:13:20.000 And he goes, you know, that song egg raid on Mojo is bullshit, right?

00:13:23.000 They never hit me once with one egg.

00:13:26.000 I said, technically, Mojo, they never said they hit you with any eggs.

00:13:29.000 They just said there was an egg raid on Mojo.

00:13:36.000 You've got two things playing at once, Genius.

00:13:42.000 Good drumming, huh?

00:13:44.000 I think that's Kate, the chick they kicked out.

00:13:46.000 Headrate on Mojo!

00:14:03.000 All right.

00:14:05.000 Since the chick episode, we've had a lot of people sending us hot chicks.

00:14:09.000 And I'm going to show some of them, but I'm getting paranoid that we're turning into simps, just ogling hot chicks.

00:14:18.000 So we want to focus more on gross babes.

00:14:21.000 Babes that aren't normally attractive, but you find them attractive.

00:14:25.000 Because these hot chicks, we're never going to get to fuck them.

00:14:28.000 I'm not talking about me.

00:14:29.000 I'm Mary, but you know what I mean.

00:14:31.000 Yeah, you look like you could be a movie star, doi, and you'll probably be a model, and you'll probably marry some bald, rich asshole producer, director guy who is going to get you in more movies.

00:14:42.000 And he's boring, and you're boring, and you talk about your photography like it's good, or we give a shit.

00:14:47.000 So incredibly beautiful women are a total waste of time in every direction.

00:14:53.000 But before we say goodbye to 10s, let's check out this 10 a reader sent in.

00:14:58.000 Her name is Luanne Veccia.

00:15:01.000 She's a Parisian, I believe.

00:15:03.000 She's French.

00:15:04.000 And she's a 10.

00:15:09.000 Look at that.

00:15:12.000 You know what's great about French women?

00:15:14.000 They're female.

00:15:15.000 Like, she's not going to go up to a bouncer and go, what, motherfucker?

00:15:19.000 You want to do this bitch?

00:15:21.000 With her flip-flops and her leggings and, like, her phone in her hand 24 hours a day.

00:15:27.000 You know, like, what we've done to American women is really defeminize them.

00:15:32.000 I think French women are the only real women left.

00:15:36.000 And Australian men are the only real men left.

00:15:39.000 The rest of us have just botched it.

00:15:41.000 She is alarming.

00:15:44.000 Chin is a little too handsome.

00:15:47.000 You know what I mean?

00:15:49.000 Handsome chin.

00:15:50.000 I'd want her to get fatter if I was her boyfriend.

00:15:53.000 It must be weird when you're a chick and that's your friend.

00:15:57.000 Because everywhere you guys go together, you're the ugly person.

00:16:01.000 Ugly, as my youngest boy pronounces it.

00:16:08.000 Wait, who's another one?

00:16:11.000 Yeah, check out this other one.

00:16:13.000 1-7.

00:16:13.000 It's another French chick.

00:16:16.000 Camille.

00:16:17.000 Camille Olaine.

00:16:21.000 See, now, this is very interesting because technically, she's not that hot.

00:16:28.000 She's a 6.8, 6.9, like if she was naked in a morgue, lying on a slab, right?

00:16:35.000 That's where you're least attractive.

00:16:37.000 You see that picture of Marilyn Monroe in the morgue.

00:16:40.000 She's not exactly mouthwatering.

00:16:42.000 However, and this is why fashion is so important, because this woman is so feminine and she's not wearing fucking sweatpants and she's not yelling at bouncers and she doesn't have a neck tattoo.

00:16:55.000 Although I don't find tattoos that turn off, I don't mind tattoos when they're little, little doohickeys, sort of scattered.

00:17:06.000 But yeah, see, that's a woman.

00:17:08.000 And that brings her up because you think a big part of attraction is marriage.

00:17:12.000 You're thinking, what would she be like 10, 20 years down the road?

00:17:15.000 And you know that no matter how old she gets, she's never going to have crocs on.

00:17:20.000 You know?

00:17:21.000 She's always going to be a lady.

00:17:23.000 And even when she's 75, like go up a little bit.

00:17:26.000 You see that top button?

00:17:28.000 No, now it's down.

00:17:31.000 Yeah, that with the top button.

00:17:32.000 That's how she's going to dress when she's 80.

00:17:35.000 And it'll be white hair and everything, but you'll still be with a lady.

00:17:38.000 You won't be with a Karen who's calling the cops because there's a black person in the pool.

00:17:44.000 All right.

00:17:45.000 They might be trying to save their lives, though.

00:17:48.000 Because you're not really great at swimming, you see.

00:17:51.000 I see.

00:17:52.000 But let's get into some gross babes.

00:17:56.000 Now, I knew this chick.

00:17:58.000 She's the bassist for the Pixies now.

00:18:00.000 Remember, the drummer for the Pixies was dating Jennifer Chiba?

00:18:02.000 You got the wrong picture there, Retard.

00:18:05.000 Her name is Paz Linchantin.

00:18:07.000 I didn't include a link for her because it's important to sort of see her.

00:18:11.000 P-A-Z Linchantin.

00:18:15.000 She's kind of old.

00:18:16.000 My buddy Matt Sweeney was dating her.

00:18:18.000 She was in his band, Zwan.

00:18:21.000 And I was like, dude, she's a musician.

00:18:24.000 She plays bass.

00:18:24.000 You play guitar.

00:18:26.000 Marry her.

00:18:27.000 Put a ring on it.

00:18:29.000 And now, just like all his relationships, he just sort of like loses interest.

00:18:32.000 It was so frustrating.

00:18:34.000 She's funny, cool, interesting, weird.

00:18:37.000 She goes on stage with no shoes on.

00:18:39.000 Look at her playing the fucking violin.

00:18:41.000 And he let her go.

00:18:42.000 Now, this is the babe, kind of babe I want to focus on, gross babes.

00:18:47.000 As Oscar Wilde said, pretty is pretty, but only ugly can be beautiful.

00:18:52.000 And this woman with her whole context and the fact that she's an amazing musician, these pictures aren't great of her.

00:18:58.000 Oh, look at, do the red t-shirt one.

00:19:00.000 It's just below that.

00:19:02.000 No, no, down.

00:19:03.000 The one where she's like that.

00:19:05.000 Yeah, that one.

00:19:06.000 You see what I'm talking about?

00:19:07.000 See what I'm screaming?

00:19:09.000 Although, I got to say, as a mate, you'd be worried about her on tour if you're not in the band making out with the singer at some point when they're both wasted after a bottle of wine at the hotel.

00:19:20.000 Guys, if your girlfriend's in a band, she's cheating on you.

00:19:23.000 I'm sorry.

00:19:24.000 But everywhere she goes, there's 400 eyes staring at her and wanting her, just like a teacher.

00:19:29.000 You know these teachers who fuck their students, the females?

00:19:32.000 It's just a numbers game.

00:19:35.000 If thousands of people want to fuck you, the second you consider the possibility, there's going to be a dink there.

00:19:40.000 So if she's like, no, no, no, no, no, maybe dink, then it closes and the dink's already on the other side.

00:19:48.000 Someone sent this in, and it's so gross, it might be too gross.

00:19:52.000 That's the picture you pulled up earlier.

00:19:54.000 She plays a Russian on the show Shameless.

00:19:55.000 The main chick in the show Shameless is amazing.

00:19:57.000 But her name is Isadora Gorscher.

00:20:01.000 And this is an interesting case where the boobs do some heavy lifting and change her rating.

00:20:10.000 So maybe get me out of the way here just for a second.

00:20:15.000 Like those boobs are fucking fantastic.

00:20:18.000 It's like you get a little bonus feature.

00:20:22.000 It's sort of like you buy a car and then you get all of the upgrades.

00:20:25.000 So this isn't just a chick.

00:20:26.000 She's bringing you boobs.

00:20:29.000 Welcome.

00:20:30.000 Hey, look what I brought.

00:20:31.000 BYO boobs.

00:20:32.000 So I'm going to give her...

00:20:41.000 And I'm going to say that she'd be a lot more fun than a lot of other these chicks.

00:20:44.000 From now on, we have to factor fun in.

00:20:46.000 Like that first chick, she's too pretty to be fun.

00:20:49.000 I don't know.

00:20:49.000 I don't see her.

00:20:50.000 There's no way she could be intelligent or funny and enjoy inside jokes.

00:20:54.000 I don't see it.

00:20:55.000 But I do with these other ones like Paz and Isadora.

00:20:58.000 And this chick, a reader sent in.

00:21:02.000 Show the big picture of him with her.

00:21:05.000 This is exactly what I'm talking about.

00:21:07.000 This is some country singer I'd never heard of before.

00:21:09.000 Look at her dress.

00:21:10.000 Look at her boots.

00:21:12.000 Zoom out.

00:21:15.000 Aren't those boots special?

00:21:20.000 I like her boots.

00:21:23.000 And the fact that she's a country singer, again, she's gonna cheat on you probably, It doesn't add value to your house.

00:21:31.000 I spent $50,000 on my swimming pool at my place upstate.

00:21:34.000 And when I sold it, I didn't get that $50,000 back.

00:21:36.000 It was like it wasn't there.

00:21:38.000 So a musician is cool to you, but you also are risking her cheating, so it goes back down again.

00:21:43.000 Let's see those links that he sent with her, though.

00:21:48.000 What's her name?

00:21:49.000 Sierra Elizabeth Farrell.

00:21:51.000 So Sierra Farrell.

00:21:52.000 That's a cool name.

00:21:56.000 See, this is what I want to focus on from now on.

00:21:58.000 Oh, she has a face tattoo?

00:22:00.000 Like, slow down.

00:22:04.000 And her music's really good.

00:22:13.000 And she's classy and weird and interesting.

00:22:15.000 What's this?

00:22:17.000 Oh, I'm going to be too close.

00:22:18.000 Don't worry about it.

00:22:22.000 Okay, click on another video.

00:22:25.000 I think there's some songs in there.

00:22:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:28.000 The nose rings have gotta go, please, ladies.

00:22:34.000 I just want to reach in there and take it off.

00:22:36.000 And that kind of tattoo is totally acceptable.

00:22:39.000 A lady can have this much surface area of tattoos.

00:22:42.000 Now, you can make that all one tattoo, or you can spread it out with little tattoos all over your body.

00:22:46.000 But that's it.

00:22:47.000 No more fucking squid that takes up your ass cheek and your whole thigh.

00:22:53.000 That's gross.

00:23:00.000 See, I'd be really worried about those two getting it on if I was her boyfriend.

00:23:08.000 Quality.

00:23:09.000 All right, one more link for her.

00:23:13.000 Got one more link, bitch.

00:23:15.000 Any sign of Fat Vito?

00:23:17.000 I better not call him that.

00:23:19.000 Was he called Fat Vito on the show?

00:23:21.000 No, the month, so be on the lookout for those episodes.

00:23:24.000 But we are just thrilled to be able to close out our day today with what you're working on.

00:23:30.000 In Memphis.

00:23:32.000 She exceeded her tattoo limit with that.

00:23:34.000 Oh, under our hair.

00:23:35.000 Spotted.

00:23:36.000 Uh-oh.

00:23:37.000 Figured.

00:23:39.000 Well, let's get to do that.

00:23:41.000 Please welcome, Sierra Farrell.

00:23:47.000 Look at that crowd.

00:23:48.000 Those all look like the best dudes in the world to hang out with.

00:23:54.000 If I was at that show, I'd be looking around waiting for when she's done so we can get beers.

00:23:59.000 You guys have a cooler there.

00:24:02.000 I'm sorry.

00:24:02.000 Okay, I'll wait.

00:24:08.000 Uh-oh, they're actually looking a little too hipstery-flops.

00:24:11.000 Oof.

00:24:12.000 Like professional-grade flip-flops.

00:24:14.000 I hate when they have a good brand, like Brazil.

00:24:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:18.000 Like cool flip-flops.

00:24:21.000 These have features and functions.

00:24:23.000 These are actually the highest quality flip-flops you can get.

00:24:26.000 They're orthopedic.

00:24:27.000 Well, that's the worst quality thing I've ever heard.

00:24:29.000 But my favorite is still Natasha Dimitrio.

00:24:33.000 What would you describe it?

00:24:34.000 Just pause.

00:24:35.000 She's in a really good show that I highly recommend called What We Do in the Shadows.

00:24:38.000 I've recommended it on the show when it came out, and I'm still supporting it in a big way.

00:24:41.000 And she's a fantastic part of it.

00:24:43.000 He's, of course, what's his name?

00:24:44.000 Matt Berry.

00:24:45.000 He's probably the funniest person in the world.

00:24:47.000 She has way too much makeup on in this clip.

00:24:49.000 But look how endearing and, again, feminine she is.

00:24:55.000 It's a vampire comedy show.

00:24:58.000 Vampire mockumentary comedy show, I'd added maybe.

00:25:01.000 Because it is a documentary.

00:25:03.000 I love that.

00:25:04.000 Yeah.

00:25:05.000 Loosely.

00:25:06.000 Loosely.

00:25:06.000 Loosely, of course.

00:25:07.000 You did just get into a fight before this.

00:25:09.000 No, he's trying to make her laugh by being obstinate.

00:25:11.000 Oh.

00:25:14.000 I would say the two things that stand out for me are witches and music.

00:25:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:21.000 That's good.

00:25:22.000 There's witches.

00:25:24.000 I enjoyed all that.

00:25:26.000 Okay, now skip to the next one.

00:25:28.000 See, the personality is such a huge part of this.

00:25:30.000 She's so warm.

00:25:32.000 Like that country music chick on a piece of paper at the morgue, she's a five.

00:25:37.000 But with the context and the sweetness and the guitar, she gets up to like a 7.2.

00:25:44.000 But look at how warm and charming Natasha is.

00:25:50.000 I love you.

00:25:51.000 Natasha?

00:25:52.000 Love you.

00:25:52.000 Lovely to meet you.

00:25:53.000 I said, love you.

00:25:53.000 Lovely to meet you.

00:25:54.000 I love you too.

00:25:55.000 I love you.

00:25:57.000 I can't live with you.

00:25:59.000 Hello, Rick Offet.

00:26:00.000 I love you.

00:26:02.000 It's Natasha, right?

00:26:03.000 See what I mean?

00:26:04.000 This is the winner.

00:26:05.000 This is what I want to focus on.

00:26:06.000 I'm done with fucking supermodels.

00:26:07.000 Of course, supermodels are pretty.

00:26:09.000 That's their job.

00:26:10.000 They're not part of our world.

00:26:11.000 It's not interesting.

00:26:12.000 This person's interesting.

00:26:13.000 This is a wife.

00:26:15.000 The most well-acted, I'd say.

00:26:17.000 She's really horny.

00:26:20.000 She loves blood and she's really thick.

00:26:23.000 Which is the thing I keep getting typecasters playing.

00:26:27.000 Did you see the film when it came out?

00:26:28.000 I did.

00:26:29.000 Of course I did.

00:26:30.000 I didn't.

00:26:31.000 I could be bothered.

00:26:32.000 No, I loved it.

00:26:34.000 It's so good.

00:26:35.000 Is that enough TikTok?

00:26:37.000 TikTok!

00:26:40.000 Let's get serious now and talk about that meme everyone's sending around with the huge dick, shall we?

00:26:47.000 We shall.

00:26:47.000 Someday I'll cut him down.

00:26:56.000 NSFW, this is not safe for work.

00:27:00.000 We have not just a penis coming up, but a penis the size of a small child.

00:27:06.000 That's not a great analogy.

00:27:08.000 I should have used something else.

00:27:09.000 A puppy?

00:27:11.000 So we have a puppy-sized penis coming up.

00:27:13.000 It belongs to a guy named Wardy Joubert III, also known to his friends as Wood.

00:27:19.000 He died of a heart attack a few years ago, but during a low time in his life, he did some porn.

00:27:26.000 I don't know if he actually did video porn or he just posed nude for a gay mag.

00:27:31.000 Women don't buy those kind of things.

00:27:33.000 But that's the background behind this meme, and it's become the most successful meme of all time.

00:27:39.000 We've chosen about 20 of our favorite examples of this giant blackcock, and we're going to be rating them out of 10.

00:27:47.000 Please join us and tell us what you think.

00:27:49.000 Let's start with the first one.

00:27:52.000 Minor Threat.

00:27:54.000 He's been added to the Minor Threat album.

00:27:56.000 This is not great.

00:27:58.000 And I don't know why it's blacked out.

00:27:59.000 So we're going to give that a two.

00:28:07.000 Five.

00:28:10.000 This one takes a while.

00:28:12.000 And for that, we're going to give it a nine.

00:28:15.000 Good work.

00:28:17.000 Because they added the shine.

00:28:19.000 And that's not easy.

00:28:20.000 Someone took that into Photoshop and really spent an afternoon creating that.

00:28:25.000 That's the best one I've seen in a long ass time.

00:28:28.000 Oh, this is a video?

00:28:29.000 Oh, you know, you already know where this is going, right?

00:28:33.000 I couldn't help it.

00:28:36.000 It just popped in there.

00:28:38.000 What?

00:28:40.000 What just popped in there?

00:28:43.000 I tried to think.

00:28:45.000 Look!

00:28:46.000 No!

00:28:47.000 It can't be!

00:28:48.000 What is it?

00:28:49.000 It can't be.

00:28:50.000 What did you do, Ray?

00:28:51.000 Oh, shit!

00:28:53.000 Oh no!

00:29:01.000 That's a ten.

00:29:07.000 I'm with my rating system now.

00:29:13.000 After that caller yesterday, or that viewer mail saying that we're too nice to Taronta Burke and we should give her a one, that was very liberating for me.

00:29:22.000 I'm done with hiding from ones and tens.

00:29:25.000 I'm going to start including them in my write-ups a lot more.

00:29:27.000 So that was a 10.

00:29:28.000 That was a perfect 10.

00:29:31.000 What's this now?

00:29:32.000 Top of the stencil.

00:29:37.000 And look at how beautiful that is.

00:29:43.000 Yeah, well, it's a stationary camera, you see.

00:29:46.000 So it's not that hard to do.

00:29:49.000 If he was moving, I'd be really impressed.

00:29:51.000 We're going to give that an eight.

00:29:53.000 Good stuff.

00:29:54.000 What do we got next?

00:29:58.000 We already know where this is going.

00:30:07.000 Actually, I didn't know that.

00:30:15.000 The perspective seems to be changing as we go by.

00:30:18.000 Oh, that's.

00:30:26.000 Is that a 9 or a 10?

00:30:27.000 That's a...

00:30:33.000 I mean, it's harder to do video than to do.

00:30:35.000 When you think of like the 24 frames a second, I'm not sure how this will work in a computer.

00:30:39.000 Behind almost every shitty meme is a person that tried to make you smile.

00:30:42.000 Look at the bottom left.

00:30:44.000 Now look at the penguin's beak.

00:30:46.000 You're a cunt.

00:30:48.000 This is much better on a phone where you can go like that.

00:30:52.000 That's very good.

00:30:53.000 I'm going to give it a 6.8.

00:30:58.000 Pretty good.

00:30:59.000 Kind of it simple, though.

00:31:00.000 And I've been spoiled by those beans.

00:31:02.000 So we're going to give this a 6.

00:31:06.000 In the name of Jesus.

00:31:08.000 Thank you, Jesus.

00:31:12.000 Standing in the office, Prophet of God.

00:31:19.000 I execute judgment on you, COVID-19.

00:31:23.000 I execute judgment on you, Satan.

00:31:25.000 You destroyed.

00:31:27.000 You killed me.

00:31:28.000 You bad.

00:31:29.000 You break your birth.

00:31:31.000 You get off this nation.

00:31:33.000 I demand judgment on you.

00:31:36.000 They made him smile.

00:31:38.000 He's smiling more.

00:31:45.000 Wow.

00:31:46.000 That might be the most NSFW we've had ever on this entire show.

00:31:52.000 We've never had black pornography.

00:31:56.000 Somehow it's even more rude when it's a person of color.

00:32:01.000 We've never had a big giant black dick being jerked off.

00:32:05.000 Five.

00:32:08.000 Oh, let me go back to that one we just saw.

00:32:10.000 I'm going to give it an 8.5.

00:32:13.000 This, okay, fine.

00:32:15.000 I'll get drunk and say 6.

00:32:18.000 What do you think?

00:32:19.000 You like Shrek.

00:32:20.000 So this...

00:32:26.000 Yeah, all right, next.

00:32:29.000 Pretty good, But again, we've been spoiled by beans.

00:32:32.000 I'm going to go with the six.

00:32:38.000 Very nice to meet you.

00:32:40.000 I'm Catherine, and this is William next to me.

00:32:44.000 Yeah, well done, you.

00:32:45.000 Can you hold it up a bit to your left so we can see it?

00:32:48.000 Brilliant.

00:32:48.000 That's it.

00:32:49.000 Look at that.

00:32:50.000 Oh, that's great.

00:32:51.000 That's a strong look.

00:32:57.000 We still put our punishers on.

00:33:00.000 If we'd known, we'd have put ours on too.

00:33:04.000 That's pretty good.

00:33:05.000 6.8.

00:33:07.000 Next.

00:33:08.000 Go ahead.

00:33:15.000 So with these, you know where it's going, but you're just wondering what the execution will be.

00:33:19.000 And this would look a lot better on your phone, obviously.

00:33:36.000 By the way, that just reminded me.

00:33:38.000 This is the stylist for Jaws was a man.

00:33:40.000 The editor was a woman.

00:33:41.000 Everything was topsy-turvy in that movie.

00:33:44.000 And the looks on, what's his name?

00:33:46.000 Rob Schneider, whatever?

00:33:47.000 Forget his name.

00:33:49.000 Are perfect.

00:33:50.000 If you're looking for outfit ideas for this spring, focus on Jaws.

00:33:56.000 If you want to be more formal, you should copy the looks of David Cassavetes in the film Rosemary's Baby.

00:34:03.000 And ladies, if you're looking for a look this summer, please copy Terry Garr in Oh God.

00:34:10.000 All right, let's get back to the cocks.

00:34:13.000 Roy Scheider This is amazing too, because it's not really a video, right?

00:34:24.000 We're seeing something that someone crafted.

00:34:29.000 You could get him big shit for that at most jobs.

00:34:33.000 Right?

00:34:34.000 That's the problem with HR and political correctness.

00:34:37.000 Like, this isn't pornographic per se.

00:34:40.000 It's a silly joke.

00:34:42.000 It's not demeaning anyone.

00:34:44.000 He's dead.

00:34:45.000 Who cares?

00:34:47.000 And it's not like you're trying to, like, turn on any of the chicks at the office and make them uncomfortable, right?

00:34:53.000 Like, the fact that adults could get in trouble for that is downright depressing.

00:34:56.000 Jesus Christ, what's happened in this world?

00:34:58.000 In the 70s, that would be hilarious to everyone involved.

00:35:01.000 We've gotten so much less fun in one generation.

00:35:06.000 What the fuck happened to us?

00:35:08.000 Oh, sorry.

00:35:09.000 I forgot to write that.

00:35:10.000 I'm feeling kind of revolutionary after seeing that, so I'm going to give it a nine.

00:35:17.000 That's really good.

00:35:18.000 7.8.

00:35:21.000 This is amazing.

00:35:25.000 Look at his face.

00:35:26.000 Whoa.

00:35:29.000 What was Kanye showing him?

00:35:32.000 Don't pull out your phone when you're talking to the president.

00:35:34.000 It's like Jerry Seinfeld said.

00:35:36.000 I don't care if you met an alien.

00:35:38.000 Just tell me about it.

00:35:39.000 I don't want you to pull it up on your photos.

00:35:47.000 All right, next.

00:35:48.000 Oh, that was a nine.

00:35:49.000 A couple of times when I get there, and I don't think anybody actually has a choice.

00:35:57.000 It's a bold package.

00:35:58.000 It's a big package.

00:35:59.000 It's a bold package.

00:36:04.000 It's great.

00:36:05.000 And good work on the editing, trying to keep that camera steady.

00:36:13.000 Oh, wow.

00:36:13.000 Look at that.

00:36:15.000 What a little busybody.

00:36:16.000 So there's only one left?

00:36:19.000 Okay, so this is a tribute to Wood, Wardy Joubert III, who we lost in 2016.

00:36:28.000 He was my age at the time.

00:36:31.000 We were both born in this 70.

00:36:34.000 So let's bid adieu to the giant black penis.

00:36:41.000 Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay.

00:36:56.000 Nine.

00:36:58.000 You feel me?

00:36:59.000 Deep when it's hot the end of six.

00:37:06.000 Tiger King is getting kind of hacked now.

00:37:10.000 Seven.

00:37:11.000 I missed the Brady bunch.

00:37:12.000 Look at that as six.

00:37:15.000 That's really good.

00:37:18.000 Wow.

00:37:19.000 Nine.

00:37:20.000 Maybe.

00:37:22.000 Seven.

00:37:25.000 Not funny.

00:37:26.000 Five.

00:37:28.000 Whatever.

00:37:29.000 Five.

00:37:30.000 We have already seen this one.

00:37:32.000 what we gave it but I think an eight is fair eight that That one's really good.

00:37:47.000 What was the point of the original picture?

00:37:49.000 Like, someone said, hey, I got Cheeto dust in my fingers.

00:37:52.000 Take a picture of me.

00:37:55.000 All right.

00:37:56.000 That is the most black cock we've ever had on the show, and it's the most black cock we ever will have on the show.

00:38:01.000 I apologize.

00:38:12.000 You know, when I was researching that, I discovered this article that some chick from Vice wrote, 2-4, about this guy.

00:38:20.000 And God, I'm clearly, that company is not what I started.

00:38:25.000 It was fucking fun when I was there.

00:38:28.000 But now I feel like David Lee Roth hearing the song, right now, with Sammy Hager and just going, what have you done?

00:38:36.000 And she wrote this article about Woody, and she's a racist, this woman.

00:38:40.000 She hates white people, and she puts black people on a pedestal, which I hate because it's racist.

00:38:46.000 And she's writing about him in this real, what?

00:38:50.000 I'll go look for it.

00:38:52.000 She's writing about him in this really patronizing way that is so coddling.

00:38:59.000 It's like the way these white liberals, they write about blacks the way they write about puppy dogs.

00:39:06.000 In fact, she mentions puppy dogs and hugs and his big bear hugs and what a boon he was to this community and blah, blah, blah.

00:39:14.000 she's making him into this fucking saint.

00:39:17.000 And you're like, no, that's it.

00:39:18.000 He's just a piece of shit who was broke because he's lazy or a piece of shit.

00:39:23.000 And he did a bunch of porn because he's a fucking loser.

00:39:26.000 And she's like, he was forced to do that photo shoot to save his childhood home.

00:39:31.000 What?

00:39:32.000 He probably got 400 bucks for that?

00:39:35.000 That's what he was short on on the mortgage?

00:39:37.000 400 bucks.

00:39:39.000 We're going to take away your home unless you pay us $400.

00:39:41.000 Okay, I'll go do porn.

00:39:43.000 But you got to read this article.

00:39:44.000 Like, just choose any.

00:39:48.000 When Wood became the unwitting star of thousands upon thousands of these bait and switch prank texts, it wasn't news to Al-Arigia or even to Joubert that nude photos of their beloved wardy are floating.

00:40:01.000 Like, listen to that.

00:40:02.000 Or go up a couple.

00:40:03.000 Yeah, go up a couple.

00:40:04.000 There, there, that paragraph.

00:40:05.000 What does it say?

00:40:08.000 Countless comments on social media posts I've read mention his smile, his sense of humor, and how he made everyone feel like a friend.

00:40:16.000 Countless examples of that.

00:40:19.000 I looked her up because I don't read vice.

00:40:21.000 You don't check in on your ex-wife.

00:40:23.000 And God, she was writing some article about how, what's her name?

00:40:29.000 The Ariana Grande pretends she's black and her wax figure shows that she's actually not black.

00:40:37.000 And you're like, Ariana Grande pretends she's black?

00:40:39.000 She has long straight hair that's six feet long.

00:40:43.000 How is that pretending to be black?

00:40:46.000 It's blacks pretending to be us when they have long straight hair.

00:40:49.000 I don't know if you know this, but blacks have curly hair.

00:40:52.000 Yeah, that's the same writer.

00:40:55.000 And in that same patronizing tone, Tom Segura, who I think is a really good comedian, he's like, we need to raise money for this guy.

00:41:05.000 Everyone's using his image without his permission, and we should help.

00:41:10.000 Like, fuck off.

00:41:12.000 You know what I mean?

00:41:13.000 You want to know a real charity?

00:41:14.000 JusticeForliberty.com.

00:41:16.000 Liberals took away a black kid's father in the name of fighting racism.

00:41:21.000 Now three kids don't have a dad for four fucking years.

00:41:26.000 That kid, that baby will be a walking, talking person by the time John gets out.

00:41:31.000 That's a legit charity.

00:41:32.000 Some loser who did porn once and is a meme who's dead and has been dead for four years.

00:41:38.000 We're raising money for him.

00:41:40.000 That's so phony.

00:41:43.000 It's patronizing.

00:41:44.000 It's like, guess what I'm doing?

00:41:45.000 I'm helping one of these savage beasts.

00:41:48.000 It's treating them like animals, really.

00:41:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:41:52.000 Like some adopt-a-kid thing.

00:41:54.000 For a nickel a day, you can donate.

00:41:55.000 Save the Negroes.

00:41:56.000 For a nickel a day, you can donate money to this little Negro.

00:41:59.000 Now, this is going to be a challenge for you, Ryan.

00:42:03.000 It reminded me of what you were talking about yesterday, and I haven't even seen this, where Conan O'Brien went to Tracy Morgan's house.

00:42:08.000 Now, we showed Tracy Morgan's house on the show.

00:42:11.000 It's fucking ridiculous in a funny way.

00:42:14.000 He has sharks in his pool table.

00:42:17.000 So this is how an egalitarian who's not racist talks to a black guy who does that.

00:42:22.000 Ready?

00:42:23.000 Don't show it yet.

00:42:24.000 You go, you're out of your fucking mind.

00:42:27.000 You have sharks in your pool table?

00:42:31.000 Jesus, dude.

00:42:32.000 And your cars are insane.

00:42:34.000 You just have every best car in the world?

00:42:34.000 You what?

00:42:36.000 You're fucking nuts.

00:42:37.000 You're a mental patient.

00:42:38.000 I thought, I used to think like the Tracy Morgan thing.

00:42:40.000 Yo, that bitch is pregnant.

00:42:42.000 I thought it was a joke.

00:42:43.000 You were clinically insane.

00:42:45.000 I think this is proof.

00:42:46.000 You know how Walmart says that they want their money back?

00:42:48.000 I think this is proof that you're mental, that you suffered brain damage in that crash, dude.

00:42:54.000 Fuck.

00:42:56.000 Now, let's look at how Conan does it.

00:42:58.000 Does not do that.

00:43:00.000 In the last OG on TBS, I am thrilled.

00:43:05.000 Tracy Morgan.

00:43:07.000 Tracy.

00:43:08.000 How are you?

00:43:09.000 Kobax, Kobax.

00:43:11.000 Until the beep, check it out.

00:43:14.000 Okay, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:43:17.000 We got to start, first of all, that is your own fish tank behind you.

00:43:23.000 That is, is this right, the fourth largest private fish tank in the world?

00:43:23.000 Yeah.

00:43:28.000 It's not a fish tank.

00:43:30.000 Doesn't this look like a fish tank?

00:43:32.000 A fish tank is a fishbowl.

00:43:34.000 That's something you buy at Coney Island.

00:43:36.000 This is an aquarium.

00:43:37.000 Okay, I'm sorry.

00:43:38.000 You have your own private aquarium.

00:43:42.000 You can't keep a hammer head in a little fish tank.

00:43:45.000 You have sharks in there.

00:43:46.000 That's a shark.

00:43:47.000 This has the vibe of kids say the darndest thing.

00:43:50.000 Yes.

00:43:51.000 It's so patronizing.

00:43:53.000 Well, that's a lot of fish.

00:43:55.000 Look at you.

00:43:56.000 His over emotives.

00:44:01.000 Fake laughing.

00:44:02.000 Okay, I hope you don't lose an arm.

00:44:04.000 But why would you suddenly talk like a pirate if you lost your arm?

00:44:07.000 Because pirates lose arms and have hooks.

00:44:10.000 I don't want the new stuff.

00:44:12.000 I don't want the modern stuff.

00:44:13.000 If I lose arm, I want a hook.

00:44:17.000 Fake laughing.

00:44:18.000 I've been watching all the Conan stuff.

00:44:20.000 You cut to yourself.

00:44:21.000 With Russell Brand and some other folks.

00:44:25.000 And yeah, this one has just an odd tone.

00:44:28.000 I have a pimple so big it's like a wart, basically.

00:44:30.000 I have a care so big it doesn't exist.

00:44:33.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:44:36.000 But you also said he gets mad when people swear on the show, but with Tracy, he was just letting all the swearing go.

00:44:41.000 Go back to your face.

00:44:42.000 It's like his thing when people swear they go...

00:44:48.000 And for this, he doesn't.

00:44:50.000 Ryan, a woman would hide her zit from the camera.

00:44:52.000 He gave nipple.

00:44:53.000 Do you think chicks care about a zit?

00:44:56.000 I don't care about chicks.

00:44:57.000 I don't want to look at this.

00:44:58.000 Well, we're looking at it.

00:44:59.000 Go back to you.

00:45:00.000 Well, NSFW, this is a nipple on my face.

00:45:00.000 Okay.

00:45:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:04.000 Basically.

00:45:05.000 So, I basically said what I had to say, that when people curse, it's his gag to be like, whoa, whoa, no.

00:45:12.000 All right.

00:45:13.000 I've had enough of you.

00:45:18.000 Let's go to Gay Vito, who I've wanted on the show since yesterday, when I watched him say, it's a joke.

00:45:24.000 It's a joke!

00:45:32.000 Joe, are you there, sir?

00:45:35.000 Yeah, I'm here.

00:45:35.000 I'm here.

00:45:36.000 What kind of cigar are you smoking?

00:45:39.000 Rocky Patel.

00:45:41.000 Ah, it's my guy.

00:45:43.000 Have you ever noticed that when Italians move to LA, everyone thinks that they're in the mob, and then sometimes they sort of play up that character?

00:45:51.000 Like they go, yeah, my cousin knows a few guys.

00:45:55.000 That's not just LA.

00:45:56.000 It's like no matter where I, where you go.

00:45:58.000 I lived in New Orleans back in the 80s, and they always thought I was connected.

00:46:04.000 I've noticed some guys, like from the Bronx that moved to LA, they'll actually play up the accent more because it's so rare.

00:46:12.000 Yeah, they like to pour it on, like, how he's doing, I'll be right back.

00:46:15.000 I'm going to the bathroom, you know, that kind of shit.

00:46:19.000 There's this comedian, Joey Coco Diaz, and I was badmouthing this comedian, Ralphie May, and he tweets out.

00:46:28.000 He goes, hey, I hear you're a real gentleman, but if you disrespect my boy again, we're going to have a problem.

00:46:35.000 And I said to him, dude, Tony Soprano doesn't tweet.

00:46:39.000 Mobsters don't tweet out their hits.

00:46:42.000 They just handle it.

00:46:44.000 What a loser.

00:46:44.000 Joey Diaz.

00:46:46.000 was he with the Diaz brothers?

00:46:48.000 Yeah, well, I think he's...

00:46:51.000 Yeah, he was adopted or something by Italians.

00:46:54.000 So he has a Hispanic.

00:46:55.000 I don't know how it works, but I do know that New Yorkers in L.A. love to ham it up.

00:47:01.000 What are you doing with your chin there?

00:47:02.000 You want a better chin?

00:47:04.000 I am looking at my fucking chin.

00:47:07.000 I got like a 32-inch neck over here.

00:47:09.000 It looks fucking huge.

00:47:13.000 I think I've been fucking confined a little bit too much.

00:47:18.000 Yeah.

00:47:19.000 I've been watching a lot of crime movies.

00:47:21.000 I noticed you seem to be a little bit typecast as the Italian mobster guy, but I don't think anyone should have a problem with that.

00:47:30.000 A gig's a gig.

00:47:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:32.000 You're not worried about being typecast.

00:47:33.000 You're just worried about being cast.

00:47:35.000 Exactly.

00:47:36.000 Yeah.

00:47:37.000 Who cares if you're the love interest and you got male?

00:47:39.000 Yeah, how many time mobsters you know played gay?

00:47:43.000 Zero.

00:47:44.000 Right?

00:47:45.000 Zero.

00:47:46.000 Yeah.

00:47:47.000 So that was the whole point of that when I suggested it is, you know, the show I can act.

00:47:54.000 Yeah.

00:47:55.000 There's plenty of room within that typecast to play different elements of that.

00:47:55.000 Yeah.

00:47:55.000 Good point.

00:48:01.000 We actually have some exciting news here.

00:48:01.000 Yeah.

00:48:04.000 We have Tony Soprano also calling in.

00:48:08.000 He wants to say something.

00:48:09.000 Tone, are you there?

00:48:10.000 Yeah, I'm here.

00:48:11.000 How you doing?

00:48:13.000 Tony, did you have something you wanted to say to Vito?

00:48:17.000 Vito, it's been a long time.

00:48:18.000 How you doing?

00:48:23.000 What's going on, T?

00:48:24.000 I hope you're not upset with me, but, you know, things kind of turned out pretty bad.

00:48:28.000 And I'm sorry about it.

00:48:30.000 But it caused a lot of problems.

00:48:32.000 What the fuck were you doing?

00:48:33.000 Yeah.

00:48:35.000 It almost feels like it's sacrilegious here talking about me know what I mean?

00:48:40.000 I have a hard time doing this.

00:48:42.000 Yeah, well, you know, it's not James Gandalfini on the line.

00:48:45.000 It's Tony Soprano.

00:48:47.000 Well, I just wanted to say you were a good guy.

00:48:48.000 You're a good soldier.

00:48:50.000 And I'm sorry how it turned out.

00:48:52.000 I'll talk to you later.

00:48:53.000 Yeah, no, I appreciate it.

00:48:53.000 God bless.

00:48:55.000 Take it easy, buddy.

00:48:57.000 That's not bad, bud.

00:48:58.000 That's not bad.

00:49:00.000 It's one of the hardest imitations there is to do.

00:49:02.000 You got to sort of do your lips in difficult situations.

00:49:06.000 I can't do it.

00:49:07.000 Yeah, no, it's not bad.

00:49:08.000 I mean, you know, you got to breathe through the nose and you got to.

00:49:08.000 It's not bad.

00:49:15.000 It's not bad.

00:49:17.000 It seems like easy.

00:49:18.000 I mean, I love imitations.

00:49:20.000 Let me ask you something.

00:49:21.000 Was there a moment when this show started and you saw the first few episodes that you were in?

00:49:25.000 Was there a moment where you watched the final product and went, holy shit, I'm in something really big.

00:49:33.000 Well, as you know, that, you know, I was a different character the first season, right?

00:49:38.000 Yeah.

00:49:39.000 Well, then you were like, so I played in the coffee bakery customer, Gino.

00:49:43.000 And as I watched it, I was like, wow.

00:49:47.000 And because everybody was talking about it.

00:49:49.000 I was like, that was pretty cool.

00:49:50.000 And then they asked me to come back as Vito, which was really cool.

00:49:55.000 And now then you just, I think at that time you feel like you're in something really good and great.

00:50:02.000 And then as you get more and more, my role got bigger and bigger.

00:50:08.000 You know, then you figure like you're on the 27 Yankees or the 85 Bears.

00:50:12.000 You know, you're part of something special.

00:50:14.000 And you don't feel freaked out.

00:50:15.000 You're just like, you're like John Bonham in Led Zeppelin.

00:50:18.000 You're just like, this is what I do.

00:50:20.000 John Bonham.

00:50:21.000 I like that.

00:50:22.000 He's one of the greatest drummers in the greatest band.

00:50:25.000 Well, I've always wondered, like, after Led Zeppelin was done a song like Dire Maker or whatever, or Fool in the Rain, do they look at each other after they're done that song and go, holy shit, we're good.

00:50:25.000 Yeah.

00:50:37.000 That was amazing.

00:50:39.000 Or do they just go, next one?

00:50:41.000 You know, it's funny because didn't his son wind up playing drums in the band?

00:50:48.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:50.000 His son's amazing, too.

00:50:52.000 Is it Jason?

00:50:54.000 Yeah, I heard he's really good.

00:50:55.000 So it's kind of like the same thing, a parallel thing.

00:51:00.000 You know, Tony and his son and Jimmy and his son and Tom Bonham and his son.

00:51:06.000 Yeah.

00:51:07.000 Well, there's this fear that young men have when their dad's famous.

00:51:11.000 They don't want to follow in his footsteps.

00:51:12.000 But just like being typecast, I don't see a problem with it.

00:51:15.000 You're a great drummer, being your dad's awesome band.

00:51:18.000 It's like you're in the family business.

00:51:20.000 Let me ask you something.

00:51:21.000 Do you think that you could ever be a mobster in real life?

00:51:25.000 Well, you know, I'm from Brooklyn and I grew up around those guys.

00:51:31.000 And, you know, I did some, you know, I'm not going to say terrible things, but things like, you know, you do, you come across some shit and you can make some money and you move some stuff and, you know, you do those things.

00:51:49.000 You know, it happens.

00:51:50.000 I like that part of it.

00:51:52.000 I like the crime.

00:51:52.000 That sounds cool.

00:51:54.000 It's the walking on eggshells, knowing you could get whacked at any moment that I don't think I could handle.

00:51:59.000 Yeah, That's the fucking, that'll keep you up at night.

00:52:02.000 I mean, you got to come out of your house looking over both shoulders.

00:52:05.000 Yeah, that's the bad part.

00:52:07.000 I mean, that's when you're running with a rough crew.

00:52:13.000 Well, what was his name?

00:52:14.000 Dominic.

00:52:15.000 Gamiello got whacked for making a gay joke.

00:52:18.000 That's 50% of my jokes.

00:52:24.000 Yeah, the guys had my back on that.

00:52:26.000 Yeah, they did.

00:52:27.000 They did.

00:52:28.000 Oh, I understand you're helping out with food delivery during this pandemic.

00:52:34.000 Yeah, I started a GoFundMe.

00:52:36.000 I was going to start it at $2,500.

00:52:40.000 Now I'm at $25,000.

00:52:41.000 I raised $18,000.

00:52:43.000 I just did two today.

00:52:44.000 I brought food to a nursing home, senior citizen rehabilitation.

00:52:48.000 All the nurses weren't getting overlooked because of the hospitals.

00:52:51.000 But I usually do about five or six hospitals a week.

00:52:55.000 I did police department today.

00:52:58.000 I did fire departments in my neighborhood, post offices.

00:53:05.000 So I help support the restaurants in my neighborhood.

00:53:07.000 I buy food from them, from the donations, and I take it to hospitals or post office.

00:53:15.000 I do breakfast for the post office, lunches for the department and police and hospitals.

00:53:21.000 So it keeps me busy.

00:53:23.000 I feel like I'm making a difference and trying to help and doing something.

00:53:28.000 And how do we get a hold of, how do we donate to that?

00:53:31.000 It's on my Twitter at Joe Ganiscoli or Joe R. Ganiscoli, and you'll see the link for the GoFundMe.

00:53:37.000 That's fantastic.

00:53:39.000 What do you got in the can for movie stuff?

00:53:42.000 I see you got Fight Valley coming out soon.

00:53:45.000 Your IMDb is nuts.

00:53:47.000 You're a hardworking man.

00:53:49.000 Yeah, some of those things are like, you know, in fucking talks, production.

00:53:55.000 They like to put it up there.

00:53:56.000 But, you know, I just did this Crabs in a Bucket with Jeremy Pribbin and Bruce Stern.

00:54:03.000 I don't know when that's coming out.

00:54:07.000 You know, there's a lot of things in talks, but everything was put on hold.

00:54:11.000 So, you know, I'm just waiting to hear.

00:54:13.000 But as long as I can, I was getting a lot of, doing a lot of, I was a chef before an actor.

00:54:20.000 I don't even know that.

00:54:22.000 So I was doing a lot of private cooking for groups of 20, 30, 40 people that were Soprano fans, husbands, brothers, fathers.

00:54:32.000 And I'd come over and I'd cook for about, you know, 20, 30, 40 people.

00:54:38.000 And in their house, tell stories, answer questions, take pictures, sign autographs.

00:54:44.000 And that was going really well.

00:54:46.000 I did about 30 of them.

00:54:48.000 And I had a lot of booked.

00:54:49.000 And then, of course, it all stopped.

00:54:51.000 All right, man.

00:54:52.000 Well, it was great talking to you.

00:54:53.000 Thanks for coming on the show.

00:54:54.000 We'd love to have you back sometime.

00:54:56.000 You remind me of somebody.

00:54:57.000 I can't think of who.

00:54:58.000 Donald Sutherland with AIDS.

00:55:00.000 Close.

00:55:02.000 Kiefer Sutherland.

00:55:04.000 With leprosy.

00:55:05.000 No, I said with leprosy.

00:55:10.000 There we go.

00:55:11.000 We nailed it.

00:55:12.000 Thanks for coming on.

00:55:12.000 All right, man.

00:55:15.000 All right, pal.

00:55:16.000 Be well.

00:55:17.000 Cheers.

00:55:20.000 Sent to the demon flower I haven't done a celebrity interview in years.

00:55:29.000 I forgot how sycophantic you have to be.

00:55:32.000 It's not pleasant.

00:55:34.000 I like political stuff where you can have a back and forth.

00:55:38.000 I'd rather be confrontational with a liberal on a Discord than kiss a celebrity's ass.

00:55:43.000 Not that I was kissing his ass, but.

00:55:47.000 Good guy.

00:55:48.000 Not a typical interview on the show, isn't it?

00:55:50.000 And we said we would get him and we got him.

00:55:53.000 It was a little uncomfortable with the Tony Soprano thing.

00:55:56.000 That's because you're a pussy.

00:55:58.000 No, no, not for me, for him.

00:55:59.000 It was uncomfortable for you.

00:56:00.000 That's why you bailed on it so soon.

00:56:01.000 You should have done it for longer.

00:56:03.000 Like laid into it?

00:56:04.000 Even if he started crying, that would be good TV.

00:56:09.000 And the newspapers were saying that he exaggerates his friendship with James Gandolfini.

00:56:14.000 And I'm not saying that's true or not.

00:56:16.000 I'm just saying that it makes the interview more interesting if Ryan were to push it a little more because there's context there.

00:56:22.000 But we thank Joe very much for coming on the show.

00:56:25.000 And I did not know that, that he had, it was his idea to make himself gay.

00:56:29.000 Yeah.

00:56:30.000 And it worked because that's probably my favorite Soprano's moment is that it's a joke.

00:56:36.000 It's a huge arc.

00:56:37.000 Yeah, it's an unforgettable arc.

00:56:38.000 Because you can sort of see yourself, if you were in a situation that was that fucked, what are you going to say?

00:56:44.000 I'm doing undercover?

00:56:45.000 No, I'm in the mob.

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.000 It's a joke.

00:56:47.000 I lost a bet.

00:56:49.000 I have a weird sense of humor.

00:56:52.000 All right.

00:56:53.000 I think we're coming to the end of this episode, and that means that we're ready for the...

00:57:01.000 We're encouraging people to go to that, to donate to that, but I'm not sure we should.

00:57:06.000 Because he said he's at 25 grand.

00:57:08.000 He's not going to drive much more than a 20-mile radius, right?

00:57:13.000 How many people need food in that radius?

00:57:15.000 Like, if you gave him 300 grand, he'd just be driving and buying.

00:57:20.000 He doesn't want to do it that much.

00:57:22.000 So I'm not sure we should donate to that thing.

00:57:24.000 I think it's reached its peak.

00:57:26.000 He sounds like he's done with it.

00:57:28.000 Anyway, my two cents.

00:57:30.000 Some charities reach their peak.

00:57:33.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a debt.

00:57:38.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.

00:57:43.000 Let me touch it.

00:57:46.000 You know what I've been thinking about recently?

00:57:48.000 Like, we don't have a tech guy.

00:57:50.000 And other places I've worked that are more established, you say, what's up with my email?

00:57:54.000 And then they solve it.

00:57:55.000 And I think that makes sense to have a tech guy, at least that you can call and come in.

00:58:00.000 Shouldn't have an HR at all, no matter how big your company is.

00:58:04.000 Apple shouldn't have an HR.

00:58:07.000 Although I was talking to an HR specialist and he goes, I hate them too.

00:58:10.000 And it's my business.

00:58:11.000 But if you don't have it, you get sued.

00:58:13.000 So it's like a lawyer.

00:58:14.000 You can hate all the lawyers, but when you get sued, you need a lawyer.

00:58:19.000 So maybe it's inevitable.

00:58:21.000 But anyway, the thing I've been thinking about this week is, fuck you for having an assistant.

00:58:26.000 That's so lame.

00:58:27.000 You can't buy your own plane ticket.

00:58:29.000 And every time Assistants, I work with people with assistants.

00:58:32.000 They buy the wrong plane ticket.

00:58:33.000 It's the wrong time.

00:58:34.000 It comes into the wrong fucking city.

00:58:36.000 They do San Jose, Costa Rica instead of San Jose, California.

00:58:41.000 Just, you can buy a plane ticket on Orbits.

00:58:43.000 It takes four minutes.

00:58:45.000 And all this keeping your appointments, you have an iCal and you sync it to your phone.

00:58:49.000 You can keep your dentist appointment.

00:58:51.000 Holy shit.

00:58:53.000 No, I thought I had an interview today that I forgot.

00:58:58.000 I do.

00:58:59.000 Shit.

00:59:01.000 Here I am talking about how you can keep your own meetings.

00:59:06.000 I feel like I'm a dope.

00:59:08.000 Oh, it's not until tomorrow.

00:59:08.000 Yeah.

00:59:09.000 See?

00:59:10.000 So you can keep all your meetings.

00:59:11.000 And I remember every time you go to LA, there's like, I used to have this agent at CAA when I was allowed to be in comedy.

00:59:18.000 And being good at it.

00:59:18.000 Greg Kavik was my agent.

00:59:21.000 And his assistant's email was Greg Kavik's assistant at whatever CAA.com.

00:59:29.000 And it was always a dude.

00:59:30.000 And I just thought, what a cuck thing to be, an assistant.

00:59:34.000 He's a fag.

00:59:36.000 You're a secretary.

00:59:37.000 He was talking about Joe when he said that, right?

00:59:41.000 Yeah.

00:59:41.000 Joe's character Vito.

00:59:43.000 Or like he was at a leather bar.

00:59:43.000 Yeah.

00:59:45.000 And she's like, why is that relevant?

00:59:47.000 He's a fag.

00:59:49.000 So musical.

00:59:52.000 What is that?

00:59:52.000 Like an E flat?

00:59:53.000 And then it goes down to an E?

00:59:57.000 You use that for tuning a guitar.

00:59:59.000 Fag.

01:00:00.000 He's a fat, fag, ding, ding, ding, dino, fag.

01:00:09.000 That's one and a half steps.

01:00:12.000 One and a half steps.

01:00:13.000 You mean presidential terms?

01:00:15.000 Yeah.

01:00:17.000 As I reach the last half of my step, yeah, so having an assistant is just fucking lame.

01:00:25.000 All right.

01:00:27.000 This guy just calls himself 2A.

01:00:30.000 Female journalist calls for more state surveillance.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, isn't that the way?

01:00:35.000 My neighborhood in Westchester has gotten more fastidious about this shit.

01:00:41.000 And now you get evil looks if you don't have a mask on.

01:00:44.000 I'm like, how are we getting more paranoid about this?

01:00:48.000 Like, I see people in their fucking cars.

01:00:50.000 And then on these chats, these local chat apps, they're like, what the fuck?

01:00:50.000 What are you doing?

01:00:55.000 Not what the fuck, they don't swear, but what the hell is going on?

01:00:58.000 What don't people understand?

01:01:00.000 Someone jogged by me the other day and they didn't have a mask on.

01:01:05.000 I was sitting on my front porch with my mask on.

01:01:07.000 What?

01:01:08.000 Why are you sitting on your front porch with your mask on?

01:01:13.000 Anyway, let's see what this is.

01:01:16.000 You got it?

01:01:17.000 Which email is it?

01:01:20.000 Mailbag, Joe Mel, female journalist, calls for more state surveillance.

01:01:23.000 Uh-huh.

01:01:24.000 1.33 p.m.

01:01:27.000 Why don't we have the same What's with our internet?

01:01:36.000 That sucks.

01:01:37.000 We need Big Brother to beat this.

01:01:40.000 Wow, they're not very subtle anymore, are they?

01:01:44.000 Claire Fogs.

01:01:46.000 I love looking up journalists and seeing what else they do.

01:01:49.000 What else is this dumb bitch up to?

01:01:51.000 Oh, the BBC says she's British.

01:01:54.000 We need Big Brother to beat this virus.

01:01:56.000 That's literally Orwellian.

01:02:02.000 That reminds me of Thomas Friedman had this article where he said, if we could only just be China for a year, what?

01:02:08.000 Under Obama's rule, and Obama could get all this stuff done, and then we could go back to freedom.

01:02:14.000 And that would work too, Thomas.

01:02:17.000 They'd happily go back.

01:02:18.000 The government would relinquish power after experiencing that kind of superpower for a year.

01:02:27.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:02:28.000 The chick in question is Alex Zedra.

01:02:30.000 Oh my God, they're still telling me about that chick I was trying to work out.

01:02:35.000 She's from the Trump rally?

01:02:37.000 Oh, the Trump rally?

01:02:38.000 No, she's from the Trump rally that many moons ago.

01:02:42.000 Dude, we cracked this egg 9 billion years ago.

01:02:47.000 I'm going to write him back right now.

01:02:49.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:02:50.000 I got to fucking.

01:02:52.000 Hey, shit for brains.

01:02:54.000 Hey, shit for brains.

01:02:57.000 We figured this out weeks ago.

01:03:06.000 There we go.

01:03:06.000 She may be the chick you couldn't remember in Hot Chick's episode, blah, blah, blah, given that she appears in some low-budget films.

01:03:12.000 Steven, your confidence is fucked.

01:03:15.000 This is millennial confidence all over again.

01:03:18.000 So now, not only is he weeks off with that, but he's like, shuts the same woman that was in Machete.

01:03:23.000 Do you know what the odds of that are?

01:03:26.000 Probably one in a million.

01:03:29.000 The chick in the background of the Trump rally is also the chick you were thinking of in that movie.

01:03:34.000 That was too much of indecence.

01:03:36.000 I find your taste in women often questionable, so don't screw this up.

01:03:40.000 If you think this chick is a 10, then it is proof positive that the actual name of this network is the Fag Zone.

01:03:46.000 Stay well and crush the SPLC into dust.

01:03:50.000 So Alexedra, if you don't think this chick is a 10, let's see her again.

01:03:56.000 Alexedra.

01:03:57.000 You just had her up.

01:04:02.000 A 10.

01:04:04.000 Yeah, that's a 10.

01:04:07.000 What does she lose a point for?

01:04:11.000 Although, were those faked hits?

01:04:14.000 Starting today, you lose a point if you have faked hits.

01:04:17.000 One point each.

01:04:20.000 No, it's half a point per tick.

01:04:23.000 Okay.

01:04:24.000 Oh, she's got an identical twin, apparently.

01:04:30.000 Anthony H. is an excellent clip of how women see themselves and why Gavin is right about women.

01:04:36.000 Patrice O'Neill's great question to women.

01:04:38.000 And it starts at one minute in.

01:04:40.000 You know what I was thinking?

01:04:41.000 You know the guy we had yesterday who says, just going to send it.

01:04:45.000 Guys, stop body scaping and buying expensive shoes.

01:04:50.000 Women want that guy.

01:04:52.000 He's kind of got a dad bod.

01:04:54.000 He's got a mullet and sunglasses, and he's a skadoo daredevil.

01:04:58.000 That's who they want.

01:04:59.000 They want to feel safe.

01:05:01.000 So just be a fucking maniac and stop worrying about how you look and covering your zit with one hand and playing with your fucking sideburns like a pussy.

01:05:14.000 Let me ask you a question.

01:05:15.000 Here's a question.

01:05:15.000 Here's a good serious question.

01:05:18.000 Okay, ladies, if you didn't have a vagina, like say it was a terrible train accident, right?

01:05:25.000 And the doctor was like, we have to remove your pussy right away or you're going to die.

01:05:33.000 How would you keep your man past, you get a two-month guilty, I can't leave the bitch right away because you just lost a pussy in a train accident?

01:05:47.000 Can't just walk right out on him.

01:05:52.000 How would you keep your man past that if he didn't have a vagina?

01:05:57.000 He blow him.

01:06:00.000 He blow him.

01:06:03.000 Wow.

01:06:04.000 Nothing.

01:06:05.000 He can talk.

01:06:07.000 Blow him.

01:06:08.000 I blow him.

01:06:10.000 Suck his dick.

01:06:10.000 Okay.

01:06:11.000 Mouth.

01:06:12.000 He heard you.

01:06:14.000 From the grain.

01:06:19.000 You see what I'm saying?

01:06:20.000 Now, I've been getting pussy peanuten the whole show, right?

01:06:22.000 But I give women the opportunity to say, I'm going to make myself worth more.

01:06:26.000 But you just classified yourself as a series of holes, but, you know, I'm.

01:06:34.000 Oh, he's really good.

01:06:35.000 God, he was great.

01:06:36.000 What was listening to him today?

01:06:36.000 Yeah.

01:06:37.000 What did he die of?

01:06:39.000 Diabetes.

01:06:40.000 He was in a coma.

01:06:42.000 He was pretty fat, but not like negligent fat.

01:06:45.000 No, even though he was not.

01:06:46.000 Especially not in today's day.

01:06:48.000 It's funny how that was only, what, like 10 years ago?

01:06:51.000 And he was considered fat.

01:06:53.000 Now he's a skinny ninny.

01:06:55.000 It's felt.

01:06:56.000 Yeah, if your gut isn't hanging over 100% of your fly, you're anorexic in today's America.

01:07:03.000 And then you lie to me.

01:07:05.000 You could stand to gain a few.

01:07:06.000 You're not following the plan.

01:07:06.000 What are you doing?

01:07:08.000 If she follows the plan, she's set to meet her targets.

01:07:15.000 That wasn't very good.

01:07:16.000 That wasn't.

01:07:17.000 No, that was good.

01:07:20.000 Hi, Gavin and Ryan.

01:07:22.000 The Discord the other day was insane.

01:07:24.000 I've done two Discords.

01:07:25.000 One was the Gavi Discord, which was obviously normal.

01:07:29.000 And then I did a very left-wing thing called Polly, Paul, Poll.

01:07:35.000 And it was all 20-year-olds in college who love the Soviet Union and don't think we should eat animals because they're the same as us.

01:07:45.000 And there's infinite genders.

01:07:48.000 I mean, that's tedious, is it not?

01:07:52.000 I couldn't believe the amount of confrontational people who called in.

01:07:54.000 Anyway, it got me thinking, if you and Ryan had one night to fight everyone who called into the Discord and it was one-on-one, like the movie Digstown, I'm not familiar with that movie.

01:08:03.000 How do you think it would play out?

01:08:04.000 Do you think you and Ryan would run through everyone like a freight train?

01:08:07.000 Would you even need Ryan?

01:08:09.000 Would Ryan be a one-and-done getting KO'd by his first opponent and then you need to carry the weight?

01:08:13.000 How would you strategize?

01:08:14.000 You fight everyone and only bring in Ryan when you're tired?

01:08:17.000 Split it up 50-50?

01:08:19.000 Only problem I see you running into is that there are a lot of people that called in during the two hours, so it could just be a numbers thing that burns you out.

01:08:25.000 Yeah, that's what I think.

01:08:27.000 I mean, when I spar four rounds and I'm dead.

01:08:30.000 Now, the rounds are two and a half minutes, 30 seconds apart.

01:08:35.000 And when I'm fighting friends who they're still punching you in the face, but they're not trying to kill you.

01:08:41.000 And then I have aides by the fourth round.

01:08:43.000 So I think after, but these are professionals, not professional boxers, but these are very experienced boxers.

01:08:49.000 I know I could beat up every single person who called and would love to, especially that Antifa general at the end, three-star soldier.

01:08:58.000 And I'm aware that there was a tongue-in-cheekness to that three-star soldier, but the fact that the word soldier even exists in your vocabulary is fucking hilarious.

01:09:08.000 Okay?

01:09:09.000 It's like someone in 650-pound life calling themselves a three-star soldier.

01:09:15.000 What do you think, Ryan?

01:09:17.000 I think we could beat up 12 each, and around 13, we start to get tired.

01:09:23.000 And then around 15, oh, it just takes one lucky punch.

01:09:26.000 You would have to run through a motherfucker face.

01:09:29.000 But not just one time.

01:09:31.000 Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and Over and over and over.

01:09:42.000 This whole brand is ruined.

01:09:44.000 My little kid wears a shirt that says Beast Mode.

01:09:48.000 Everybody?

01:09:50.000 Everybody?

01:09:53.000 It would take a long time, though.

01:09:58.000 You know, I came across another one in the Twilight Zone.

01:10:01.000 The guy's like, you'll be half another 40 in 45 years.

01:10:04.000 Yeah, people were making them in.

01:10:06.000 No, I could probably find them.

01:10:07.000 There's a ton.

01:10:08.000 Here, let me put 40, 45.

01:10:10.000 We just got some footage from the fight.

01:10:17.000 I thought this was in a ring.

01:10:19.000 Oh.

01:10:21.000 Wait, if I do 45, it doesn't come up.

01:10:24.000 45, we're not going to mention his name and shit, the motherfucking name, but motherfuckers.

01:10:29.000 He gets another two-step.

01:10:30.000 Okay, let's do one more.

01:10:31.000 And we should look up those 40-45s because people have sent me a bunch.

01:10:35.000 There's an episode of Seinfeld where it comes up, too.

01:10:37.000 Jerry, there's 40, 45 outside.

01:10:40.000 This is from a chick named Arbella.

01:10:42.000 Good morning, Dodes.

01:10:44.000 That comedy analysis was a bit misleading, especially the part where you compared it to Louis C.K.'s comedy.

01:10:48.000 I bought his latest stand-up special on your recommendation, and I'm not sure it's an age-sex difference, but it did nothing for me.

01:10:57.000 What?

01:10:58.000 Bitch, you crazy.

01:10:59.000 What?

01:11:01.000 What?

01:11:03.000 No, it's not an age-sex difference.

01:11:04.000 Funny is funny.

01:11:07.000 You left out a perfectly fuckable pig.

01:11:09.000 You didn't like that part?

01:11:11.000 A fucking woman, boss?

01:11:14.000 Not only did it do nothing for me, the part where he talked about kid fucking for what felt like five minutes straight disgusted me.

01:11:19.000 I didn't find him acting out humping a child from behind to be funny at all.

01:11:22.000 I thought it was more of a whole cheap shock humor type thing you discussed those ladies doing.

01:11:26.000 Touche.

01:11:28.000 You ugly.

01:11:29.000 I can remember comedians doing cheap shocks sex humor since I was a kid.

01:11:33.000 I think it was Dane Cook who had some great family-friendly stand-up routine.

01:11:37.000 Then when he made it big, he just went for the cheap sex jokes.

01:11:39.000 I was about 12 years old when that happened.

01:11:44.000 might not have been Cook, but you get the point.

01:11:46.000 And even then, I remember thinking, that's really immature.

01:11:48.000 It seems like every comic who makes it big just falls back on sex jokes for an easy laugh.

01:11:52.000 I don't know about that.

01:11:54.000 And Louis C.K.'s never really changed his comedy.

01:11:57.000 Although you do have a point with this child sex thing, because I don't mind if you're going to do disgusting pedophile jokes as long as there's disgusting racist jokes, disgusting homophobic jokes, disgusting sexist jokes, and you spread it around.

01:12:11.000 But everyone's too scared of those other categories.

01:12:14.000 So they just do the, for some reason you're allowed to do kids.

01:12:17.000 So it really sticks out like a sore thumb, as I've mentioned many times on the show.

01:12:22.000 SNL is particularly bad at this.

01:12:25.000 I admit the girls who do this are annoying and graphic and gross, but I wasn't nearly as disturbed watching that chick say, you were almost a period, as I was watching CK act out molesting a kid on stage.

01:12:36.000 Then again, I'm a 23-year-old female who watched CK Sober, and you're a 50-year-old male who watched that wasted.

01:12:42.000 I don't like the butt chick.

01:12:43.000 This woman's really giving it to me.

01:12:45.000 I'm not saying these girls are great comedians.

01:12:47.000 I'm just trying to say I've noticed shock humor for a long time among most comedians and have always thought it was cheap.

01:12:51.000 The last comedian to get a good laugh out of me was Nate Bargatzi.

01:12:55.000 Your heels are cheap and your sunglasses are knockoffs, so please take them off beforehand.

01:13:01.000 Let me poke you with my heels off.

01:13:02.000 By the way, you know one thing we always joke about, and that's enough letters, but that was a very good letter.

01:13:07.000 Thank you, lady.

01:13:08.000 I am done.

01:13:11.000 Yes, we're laughing at Lady Saw and everything, but let's not forget she's one of the greatest dance hall singers in all time.

01:13:18.000 Check out this song she did, Turn Me Back to You.

01:13:22.000 She's talking about, well, she's a woman, right?

01:13:25.000 So she's talking about how other women diss her and talk about her, and she doesn't have time for that.

01:13:30.000 Oh, Lady Saw, okay.

01:13:31.000 Who do you think I was saying?

01:13:31.000 Yeah.

01:13:32.000 You said Lady Hall.

01:13:34.000 No, I don't think I did.

01:13:37.000 Lady Saw.

01:13:39.000 Chat to me back.

01:13:40.000 Chat to me back.

01:13:41.000 Yeah.

01:13:50.000 Dance Hall is Jamaican hardcore.

01:13:55.000 Is this an intro to the video?

01:13:56.000 Yeah.

01:13:56.000 They're talking shit to her.

01:13:57.000 I can't go.

01:13:58.000 I can't say.

01:14:00.000 Me man love me bad.

01:14:03.000 And he na go no way.

01:14:05.000 When them I watch.

01:14:08.000 Gonna get good soon.

01:14:09.000 Just at least see how talented she is.

01:14:11.000 If you want home, I'm a sure-toe-me-back.

01:14:13.000 I say, chat to me back, chat to me back.

01:14:16.000 How many views does this have?

01:14:17.000 They forgot to key out the background.

01:14:22.000 Six million?

01:14:24.000 Here, listen to it.

01:14:24.000 Yeah.

01:14:25.000 Here, listen to it.

01:14:32.000 Any deer you feel, you can rush this.

01:14:34.000 You and your friend them, come up and touch this.

01:14:36.000 If you bite my throat, I'm rushed.

01:14:38.000 Make me intrigued, you to me, call this.

01:14:40.000 You and your friend, them a poet in faith.

01:14:42.000 Money crap up, I'm fearful at night.

01:14:45.000 Two pop and pop like G-Me.

01:14:46.000 Chat to me, my mom and I know I'm your man.

01:14:49.000 Chatumi makui ma.

01:14:52.000 All right, we're done.

01:14:55.000 I'd like to thank Joe for coming on the show, but we always end all shows with a viral video.

01:15:04.000 Got some racial shit here.

01:15:06.000 A lot of racist shit.

01:15:07.000 A lot of racial shit.

01:15:08.000 So this kid was arrested.

01:15:10.000 Now, this is a horrible video where he talks about shooting black people.

01:15:14.000 But I guarantee you there's a million videos of black people doing this.

01:15:19.000 And you should be arrested for this?

01:15:23.000 What's the charge?

01:15:25.000 Yeah, being a jerk.

01:15:27.000 Being an incredibly offensive, stupid teenager?

01:15:30.000 Right.

01:15:33.000 Howdy.

01:15:34.000 I'm Parker Mush.

01:15:35.000 And I hate black people.

01:15:37.000 They're the worst.

01:15:38.000 They're stinky.

01:15:40.000 And they just suck.

01:15:41.000 They're just bad people.

01:15:43.000 You notice over there is a box of Jordans.

01:15:47.000 The favorite pair of shoes for a black man.

01:15:50.000 I'm going to show you what I think of a black man.

01:15:55.000 Fuck all niggers.

01:15:58.000 Like, that's retarded.

01:16:01.000 Right.

01:16:03.000 What's the charge?

01:16:04.000 I don't know.

01:16:05.000 See, this makes me worried.

01:16:06.000 And again, is this the new rule now?

01:16:08.000 You get arrested if you say a racial epithet and then shoot a gun because you're about to fill the jails with black dudes.

01:16:15.000 Wait, that doesn't represent black people.

01:16:17.000 That's a falsehood.

01:16:18.000 Before shooting the shoebox, which he said represented black people, he said this is the favorite shoe of black people.

01:16:23.000 Yeah, and that's...

01:16:25.000 Do you see the charge?

01:16:28.000 Justice Department.

01:16:30.000 Here we go.

01:16:32.000 He faces charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

01:16:35.000 Perjury?

01:16:37.000 Oh, no, that's the Columbian attorney.

01:16:42.000 Charged with making student threats.

01:16:45.000 Oh, like Columbine.

01:16:47.000 Right.

01:16:48.000 That's clearly not what he was going for.

01:16:50.000 Well, according to the state, officers investigating the footage also found more footage in text in which he threatens to shoot up to school.

01:16:56.000 I'm sure that's a joke, too.

01:16:58.000 Well, that's different.

01:16:58.000 Unless he was.

01:16:59.000 Yeah.

01:17:00.000 See, we're not getting direct story here.

01:17:03.000 All right, here's another example.

01:17:05.000 This couple made a really bizarre racist video, and they're expelled from school.

01:17:13.000 Again, I'm not defending these videos, obviously, but getting arrested and getting expelled for doing this, it's a double standard.

01:17:21.000 Black people make videos like this all the time.

01:17:22.000 They don't get arrested.

01:17:26.000 This is so weird.

01:17:26.000 I don't even.

01:17:27.000 Hey.

01:17:28.000 Today we're making first we have black.

01:17:35.000 Yeah, pretty black.

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:36.000 Wait a minute, just pause.

01:17:39.000 Shouldn't you be in a kitchen and have it written on flour or something and put it in a bowl?

01:17:45.000 Like, I don't understand why you pour things in a sink.

01:17:51.000 Don't have a dad.

01:17:52.000 Don't have a dad?

01:17:53.000 Yeah.

01:17:54.000 Yeah.

01:17:56.000 Eat watermelon and fried chicken.

01:17:59.000 Fried chicken.

01:17:59.000 Watermelon?

01:18:00.000 Yeah.

01:18:02.000 I don't understand.

01:18:03.000 Who makes things in a sink?

01:18:04.000 What do you, what's this a metaphor?

01:18:07.000 The metaphor doesn't make sense.

01:18:08.000 Next one's make good choices I think this is like a trend thing.

01:18:11.000 This is like a form of video oh it's like a template like sluts yeah like a this is a shiny version of a regular sink.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 22, 2020

S02E154 - THE SOPRANOS [2020-04-22 - S02E154 - THE SOPRANOS]

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