Kevin and Ryan discuss the death of a good friend of theirs, the Mexican funeral of a 13-year-old boy who died in a motorcycle accident, and the weird things you should do at a funeral. Plus, Kevin talks about his trip to Mexico, and Ryan tells the story of how he almost got run over by a bus.
Transcript
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00:02:35.000I recorded, but I felt kind of bad on my motorcycle because he died on a motorcycle.
00:02:39.000Is that like that Bill Hicks has a bit about when Jesus comes back and he sees a cross around people's necks, he's going to be traumatized.
00:02:46.000But it's weird being at a funeral where a guy named Jesus died because it says RIP Jesus all over the cars.
00:03:05.000It's weird too because some of the, like the boxing people, my coach was just wearing an undershirt with paint on it because he's painting his house.
00:03:13.000But some of the Mexican women were wearing stilettos.
00:03:16.000And you feel blasphemous being attracted to someone at a funeral.
00:06:17.000So the reason I played that song, Fat Bottom Girls, I thought Freddie Mercury wrote that song and I thought it was funny to hear a gay talk about how hot big fat chicks are.
00:06:26.000By the way, if I say that you have a nice butt, You should be insulted because I cannot lie, I like big butts.
00:06:34.000So, if I say you have a nice butt, I mean you have a big butt.
00:06:36.000So, you should be pissed off if a pig likes me, likes your ass.
00:08:06.000Who knew that a butt cheek fan, and I think Brian May and I are in the exact same boat as far as our taste for butts, but who knew that the butt cheek guy had such delicate buttocks?
00:10:03.000Yesterday on the program, I called out Amy Siskind, a self-described feminist activist, because she tweeted a couple days ago that we should not vote for, that she will not vote for any white or male candidates.
00:12:16.000Your model doesn't include suicide, unemployment, poverty, businesses being irrevocably destroyed, you know, alcoholism, divorce, all kinds of other factors that might not obviously kill us in a medical way.
00:12:33.000My kids were playing the other day, but they had to be monitored.
00:12:36.000They were playing baseball and they had to be six feet apart, but at least my son was able to see his friends for once.
00:12:40.000That's the worst part right now is I just want my fucking kids to be able to play.
00:12:46.000Here's a story I've been meaning to get to for a while.
00:12:49.000Dave Rubin stole his book of ideas, Don't Burn This Book, is completely uncontroversial.
00:12:56.000If you're going to make a book, it should have some controversy in it, like Women maybe aren't designed to be scientists for the most part.
00:13:03.000Or blacks commit crime more than whites because welfare took away their fathers and they don't have discipline at home.
00:13:11.000Those are controversial things to say.
00:13:12.000We should abolish school and kids can homeschool from 9 to 12 and then play all day.
00:13:19.000Those are controversial opinions I have.
00:13:22.00095% of women would be happier at home, more fulfilled, and the society would be a better place.
00:13:26.000Close the borders to manufacturing, build as much stuff here as we possibly can, all that kind of stuff.
00:13:32.000His ideas are like, be kind to people.
00:13:35.000We need to be slightly stricter about immigration and stop with illegal immigration.
00:15:48.000So then he says, like most Americans, spent the majority of his adult life subscribing to certain lefty political narrative, which is fed to all of us through the culture polygram and media machine, fed up with these quote unquote.
00:15:58.000I think he thinks it's okay because he put factory settings in quotes.
00:16:02.000All you had to do, dude, was say, fed up with what Bridget Fatasi wittily calls factory settings, which my friend Bridget Fatasi, a term my friend Bridget Fatasi coined.
00:17:12.000Today in Black People, which is my new category for my notes, this fake racist graffiti, after racist graffiti shows up near Shelburne, that's like, I think, near Toronto, a community bands together to fight the bad words.
00:17:31.000Imagine it said fuck on a rock and they talked about the community banding together.
00:17:36.000So it said black niggers in Shelburne eating watermelon.
00:17:39.000Of course, the news can't even show you this because it's so horrific.
00:17:44.000So they cut out watermelon and they blur out that horrible word.
00:17:49.000And you're looking at it going, yeah, I don't believe you.
00:18:17.000Anti-black racist graffiti spray painted across a large rock near Shelburne, Nova Scotia, sorry, has been removed thanks to people who took a stand after seeing it on Facebook.
00:20:13.000He's a homo, a really cool, conservative homo.
00:20:16.000But acting director of national intelligence, Richard Grinnell, has declassified the names of Obama administration officials who were allegedly behind the unmasking of formal national security advisor Michael Flynn.
00:21:36.000Most media outlets have ignored the origins of the Russia conspiracy hoax completely.
00:21:41.000And as a result of that, Barack Obama's plan to derail his successor unfolded with very little opposition along the way, including from Republicans.
00:21:50.000The entire country, therefore, spent the first three years of the Trump administration hyperventilating about Russian collusions.
00:25:27.000I'd like to introduce you to some sad fucking losers.
00:25:30.000And this is going to be a strange journey because I feel bad for the plight of man, but this horror show of bottom feeders feeding on nerds who are slightly lower than them is shocking to witness.
00:25:44.000So we're going to be insulting these people, but also feeling some sympathy for them.
00:25:57.000Women aren't horny for you when you have shitty teeth because it Shows that you had a shitty childhood where your parents didn't care about you, and it means that you're going to be a shitty dad.
00:26:22.000So he's seen to losers as the king of the shitheads, which is kind of good, I guess, because he obviously is never going to be able to pick up girls in person at a bar or something.
00:26:35.000But if you have an entourage of friends and a project, you're going to have like a friend's sister.
00:30:21.000People go to see these pickup artists.
00:30:23.000Now, maybe the pickup artists faked this seminar and had their friends come, but I don't think so.
00:30:29.000Now, this is the problem with the state of men today.
00:30:32.000When I was young, men were rock stars.
00:30:34.000Burt Reynolds had his big hairy body in Playgirl, a centerfold.
00:30:39.000You could see big, fat, not fat, but big, hairy Burt Reynolds.
00:30:42.000The way we dressed when we were teens was like a cutoff t-shirt showing our gorgeous bellies and like short shorts with tube socks and feathered hair with like a coral choker.
00:30:53.000I see these photos of me when I was like 12 and I'm going, yeah, with like sunglasses like this.
00:30:59.000We thought we were gods because men were treated well in the media.
00:31:04.000There was like Smokey and the Bear and the Dukes of Hazard and men were cool.
00:31:07.000Then somewhere around the 80s, feminism ended all men's clubs.
00:31:11.000That's why the Proud Boys are verboten today.
00:32:27.000Oh, look, this is his protege who dresses like him and does all his tech equipment.
00:32:32.000So, this guy's just, he couldn't get laid, so he covered himself in tattoos and turned himself into this mystical weirdo that I guess in a dark club, some girls think, oh, I'm gonna fuck him, a shitty bad guy from a kid-friendly horror movie like Goosebumps or This Old House.
00:35:01.000He's telling these nerds who can't get laid that the best time for them to have sex with a woman is when she's on her hands and knees pleading and begging for it.
00:35:11.000Is that really good advice for these guys?
00:35:49.000And sometimes I think the tickets are 320 bucks.
00:35:53.000So we make men feel terrible about themselves.
00:35:55.000They live in perpetual fear of getting me-tooed like Aziz Ansari did when seven blowjobs meant that seven blowjobs meant that he was raping her.
00:36:11.000We've talked about it a million times.
00:37:32.000It's sort of like that dude, Sway, who would put his dreads in a big, tall Marge Simpson, like African wrap until someone said, dude, that's what African women do.
00:37:43.000Men don't put their hair in a big tall thing.
00:40:01.000And he's dressed like a Ten year old anime Punk chick Those tools that I gave you right now You need to be a mouse This is so amazing.
00:40:11.000Not only does he have this unbelievable chick hair, emo fucking geek.
00:40:18.000He also has wool that he's stitched into his hair, woven in.
00:40:23.000He has multicolored dreads coming out the back, but he also has this gray wool ponytail, three mouth piercings, and then nose and eye piercings.
00:42:56.000Come and suck my dick, his jacket says.
00:42:59.000He's smoking a cigarette and drinking health grass juice.
00:43:04.000If you look at the look, you miss out on things that, if let's say.
00:43:11.000This is how bad things are, that people actually listen to this man who does not speak English and cannot convey a thought.
00:43:19.000See if you can understand what he's about to say.
00:43:21.000It's one of the most confusing moments in the history of the human experience.
00:43:27.000You miss out on things that, if let's say, you're talking to a man and you say something that's pretty clever, wouldn't you say that what I said is clever and funny?
00:43:37.000Not everybody may appreciate it, but it's clever and funny.
00:43:40.000And the best response the man would give you, let's say, you share some principles that you share and the guy goes, oh, yeah.
00:43:51.000You would put in the right perspective.
00:43:53.000You would be like, that's completely retarded.
00:48:31.000They're sick of going like that, so they'll hang out.
00:48:33.000Anyway, so she starts getting more and more wasted and she takes off her shirt and she's got her phone stuffed into her bra in case she gets an important call.
00:48:42.000And she goes, why does everyone think blowjobs are such a big deal?
00:48:49.000And she's saying that really, really loud.
00:49:23.000And eventually he won and wheeled her out of there with her little skinny legs ranting and screaming at the top of her lungs about fellatio.
00:49:29.000And I thought, I wonder what that would have been like that night.
00:51:47.000Hey, with that shitty attitude, what do you think the chances are of me, you might as well go bet all your fucking money on a lotto when you talk like that?
00:53:15.000So Vince, do you usually ride in cars like car stores?
00:53:18.000What they did was they booked like a super fancy Uber X or maybe even rented a car so they can look like badasses in this clip to the nerds.
01:07:21.000Now, the beautiful part of you and I is that my friendship with you is first.
01:07:25.000Thick, thin, good, bad, ugly, whatever the fuck it is.
01:07:30.000Ryan's theory is, and I'll add something to it.
01:07:34.000He gets these losers, you get them drunk, you take them to a strip club, they get all horny, and then you somehow, sort of like Tiger King with the meth guys, you brainwash them into thinking getting a blowjob is not really gay.
01:11:25.000And if it's boring, stand up and walk out.
01:11:28.000Now, I know if you're on a cruise and you go to their comedy club and you sit in the front, and after 15 minutes you decide this sucks, and you're one of seven people and you have to stand up and walk out, yeah, that can be pretty rough, but fuck it.
01:11:53.000We did a couple takes, but yeah, those fat uglies, especially if you're in a strip club like in Greenpoint or the Bronx or Long Island City, and it's like early.
01:14:22.000Usually you can only form somebody if they have intentions to harm themselves or intent to harm others or if they're a danger to themselves.
01:14:30.000I understand that Canada was never a free country, but if peacefully protesting is now considered a danger to yourself and others, then I shudder to think where we'll be in 10 years.
01:14:37.000Maybe it's the booze talking, but I kind of thought, and this isn't very liberty, but if someone's going to kill themselves, we send police over for a wellness check.
01:14:48.000If you're on a hunger strike, aren't you trying to kill yourself?
01:15:49.000Isn't it funny how I talk about something adult, like a book, Albion Seed or something, and you never have any idea.
01:15:56.000The second I mention anything kid, you're like, oh yeah, that's when Super Grover had a fight with Elmo, and they didn't speak until Big Bird made them be friends again.
01:16:08.000Just want to let you guys know I looked up historical temps for Waco during the timeframe of the events.
01:16:21.000I don't think I could wear a sweater at 66.
01:16:25.000I think I'd start having a panic attack.
01:16:27.000By the way, in case you're not familiar, we were totally distracted in that awesome Netflix series, Waco, by the V-neck sweaters that are crowbarred into every scene.
01:16:36.000I think the stylist spent her entire budget on V-neck sweaters and had to put a different one in every fucking shot.
01:16:43.000And you don't wear sweaters in Texas ever.
01:16:46.000They're not basing that off of the footage, right?
01:21:01.000That's Quebecoa for hello, Gav, my, well, it means the host, but it basically means fuck.
01:21:07.000It basically means, hey, Gav, you fucker.
01:21:10.000I like when you talk about movies and TV shows and when you give us your non-political opinions about general culture.
01:21:14.000Another way of changing people, other than implicitly telling them to do what to do or swearing at them for doing something wrong, like you do with Ryan, is recommending TV shows, books, and movies that would improve their personalities and increase their IQ.
01:21:25.000These would not necessarily be about politics or the culture wars.
01:22:57.000There had been repeated break-ins at that construction site.
01:23:01.000A. Michael, Greg McNeil, whatever his name was, McMichael, recognized the perp because he'd arrested him before for bringing an illegal gun to school.
01:26:01.000But there's no clear space against the arms market factors.
01:26:05.000But bring down a fully loaded 727 to the middle of New York City, and you'll find a dozen tin past dictators all over the world just climbing to take responsibility.
01:27:13.000It's like Courtney Love, when she was with Kurt Cobain, she had all these Olympia, awesome songs, and then after he died, she just was a mediocre musician.
01:27:58.000But it is funny how I remember when the Proud Boys began, I kept getting asked by journalists, why did you choose a shirt that is so quickly associated with Nazi skins?
01:30:27.000With all this spending, $1.8 trillion ongoing from the federal government, I have total disgust for both political parties, especially democratic socialism.
01:30:36.000I consider myself a fiscal conservative, minimal government influence, spending, blah, blah, blah.
01:30:42.000What I see in the bureaucrats' mindset in this time of crisis, they are leaning into Keynesian economics.
01:30:49.000Keynesian economics argued that an interventionist government could help smooth out recessions by using fiscal policy to prop up aggregate demand.
01:31:14.000I'd love to hear more and see more interviews as you did in the past, like Charles C. Johnson, Matt Welsh, Kat Tempt, Telief Strux, and the best, KT McFarland.
01:31:55.000The answer to your question is the government is incapable of anything.
01:31:59.000I don't want them involved in anything but keeping us safe with police force, not even fire departments, police force and military, enforcing the borders, ICE, just our safety.
01:32:10.000I want to privatize education, privatize the energy sector.
01:32:16.000As John Stossel says, I'll give you a thousand bucks for everything you can show me that the government does better than the private market.
01:32:31.000So stop talking about roads and healthcare?
01:32:34.000Yeah, you had an argument when we were a normal country, but with an obesity epidemic and 30 million illegals, there's just too much abuse going on to have free Medicare.
01:40:58.000The tall, skinny, lanky version of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park facing off against a man who thinks it's cool to get the devil tattooed to the front of his forehead.
01:41:20.000And he's wondering if he should go in for more.
01:41:22.000It seems he threw in the white flag, but Jeff doesn't give a fuck.
01:41:26.000And now both men must go with their tails between their legs back to their wives and explain how this happened randomly on a Thursday afternoon.