Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 25, 2020


S02E167 - DON'T SAY "DISPROPORTIONATE" [2020-05-25 - S02E167 - DON'T SAY "DISPROPORTIONATE"]


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

167.98361

Word Count

12,302

Sentence Count

1,240

Misogynist Sentences

126

Hate Speech Sentences

98


Summary

On this episode of the podcast, the boys discuss the latest news in the world of politics, sports, and pop culture. They also talk about the latest in the NFL and other sports news. Also, the guys talk about what they would do if they were in a Civil War and if they would be willing to fight for the Confederacy.


Transcript

00:00:14.000 I'm from New York That was Generals and Majors by XTC very successful band.
00:00:39.000 I had a lot of hits.
00:00:40.000 Making plans for Nigel.
00:00:42.000 Ring any bells?
00:00:43.000 Were they from New Zealand?
00:00:45.000 But this video is the shittiest video ever made.
00:00:49.000 Richard Branson, who ran Virgin Records, decided, I want to be in your video.
00:00:55.000 Like, imagine your boss goes, hey, you guys are shooting that Generals and Majors video?
00:01:01.000 I want to be in it.
00:01:02.000 Make me one of the generals.
00:01:04.000 What?
00:01:04.000 It doesn't even fit the part.
00:01:08.000 They all have big mustaches.
00:01:09.000 And then there's Richard Branson.
00:01:12.000 What a twat.
00:01:13.000 Record label owners.
00:01:17.000 They're just like stockbrokers.
00:01:20.000 They're just money babysitters.
00:01:21.000 Look at this.
00:01:24.000 What are you talking about?
00:01:25.000 What are you doing?
00:01:26.000 I think Richard Branson.
00:01:30.000 Yeah, that's him in the water, is it?
00:01:31.000 What a dork.
00:01:33.000 Yeah, that's him there.
00:01:34.000 What a dork.
00:01:38.000 He's like that Chinese billionaire.
00:01:39.000 He's another loser billionaire.
00:01:43.000 This is new to me.
00:01:45.000 I didn't know there could be such a thing as billionaire losers.
00:01:49.000 Like, I don't want to hang out with him.
00:01:52.000 Hey, Gavin, it's Richard.
00:01:54.000 I've got a helicopter coming to pick you up to take you to my private island where we're having a party.
00:01:59.000 No, thank you.
00:02:00.000 I'm fine.
00:02:02.000 I'd rather just go to a bar.
00:02:03.000 Holy shit.
00:02:09.000 It's Memorial Day.
00:02:10.000 Have to keep that in mind.
00:02:13.000 Generals and majors.
00:02:18.000 I didn't have to wear this.
00:02:22.000 You have this on your head.
00:02:23.000 So a...
00:02:24.000 How does this work again?
00:02:28.000 You have this on your head.
00:02:30.000 So a bullet doesn't go into your brain.
00:02:33.000 Fuck, I'm stupid.
00:02:35.000 You're just in a trench.
00:02:35.000 I can't...
00:02:35.000 There we go.
00:02:38.000 Can we get some more respect, please, for the Civil War?
00:02:43.000 I think it was about wanting to maintain the Union.
00:02:46.000 Because Lincoln said...
00:02:48.000 said if I could maintain the union without freeing one slave I would do it sounds like it's not about slavery to me however the narrative from 99% of the population is it was about slavery okay you can have that but if it was about slavery 650,000 Men died liberating slaves, according to your own narrative.
00:03:13.000 That's the equivalent of 5 million people today.
00:03:16.000 How about a thank you?
00:03:18.000 We had an American Holocaust to rescue black Americans.
00:03:22.000 And we're just known as the racist assholes.
00:03:25.000 Piece of shit, garbage.
00:03:27.000 Who hunt blacks for sport.
00:03:29.000 I saw Ashley Gropenberg got fired because Jared Holt put the pressure on.
00:03:36.000 This guy's job is to get conservatives fired.
00:03:39.000 That's one, two.
00:03:40.000 And it's in the name of fighting hate.
00:03:43.000 So he's all about defending armed robbery.
00:03:46.000 Armed robbery.
00:03:47.000 Because, let me just give you his perspective.
00:03:51.000 So that guy was an innocent guy.
00:03:54.000 I don't know if he was jogging or not.
00:03:55.000 But he's a sweetheart.
00:03:56.000 And he's running down the street.
00:04:00.000 And these redneck cowboys just go, hey boy.
00:04:03.000 And then he goes, wait, what are you?
00:04:05.000 That's his version, right?
00:04:06.000 So Ashley Gropenberg goes, actually, no.
00:04:09.000 He was a career criminal.
00:04:11.000 And he wore a summer parka with no shirt.
00:04:15.000 And we get to a better picture of this armed robbery guy.
00:04:18.000 That's racist.
00:04:20.000 What you're doing there is you're smearing.
00:04:22.000 Look at what you're saying.
00:04:24.000 Seeing people watch this and then say this was a lynching and cold-blooded murder may be what ends up making my mask come off completely.
00:04:29.000 Permanently.
00:04:31.000 By the way, Jared Holt is such a pussy and such a woman that he writes like a woman.
00:04:36.000 That article saying, I got her fired, you guys, is nine million words long.
00:04:43.000 And there's no structure to it.
00:04:45.000 It's just like, here are all my notes.
00:04:47.000 And now he's got her fired, unemployed.
00:04:51.000 Look at his fucking face.
00:04:54.000 You're the third result, the fourth result when you Google him.
00:04:57.000 Oh, good.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, I really feel good about that confrontation.
00:05:01.000 Yeah.
00:05:02.000 I still don't know if he's gay.
00:05:04.000 I mean, I would hate him less if he was gay because at least there'd be an excuse for his femininity.
00:05:11.000 Look at that face.
00:05:13.000 Does he think that's a good picture?
00:05:15.000 Don't put that out, dude.
00:05:17.000 Burn it.
00:05:18.000 Oh, my.
00:05:19.000 Remember that biking picture?
00:05:19.000 Burn the negative.
00:05:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:22.000 That was good.
00:05:23.000 Those weird legs.
00:05:24.000 So, anyway, that's his whole point is that she smeared Ahmed Arbery with hate facts.
00:05:33.000 And that was not fair because this guy is getting worse and worse the more we look into him.
00:05:40.000 And he also implies in that article, by the way, that the first thing we do when we, us right-wingers, the first thing we do when there's a victim, a black, a victim of racism, a black victim, is we portray him as evil and a criminal and say he deserved it.
00:05:53.000 No.
00:05:53.000 We mock you for choosing such shitty heroes, such terrible victims.
00:05:58.000 Trayvon Martin beat the shit out of George Zimmerman and made it, made a shooting all but inevitable.
00:06:04.000 Eric Garner said this ends now and regrets.
00:06:09.000 refused to comply with the police i can't do that you think if i get pulled over for drunk driving i can just go this ends now and they'll go oh well he told us that it ends now we gave you a bona fide black victim i already forgot his name i'm embarrassed to say but it was the title of a an app an episode from a few back uh You didn't care about that because it wasn't in the swing state.
00:06:33.000 It wasn't politically viable.
00:06:36.000 And that's really what all of this shit comes down to.
00:06:39.000 How can I use these blacks, James Craig Anderson?
00:06:42.000 How can I use these blacks to further my political cause?
00:06:46.000 And Biden actually accidentally peeled back the curtain and said, if you don't vote for me, you ain't black.
00:06:54.000 What does that mean?
00:06:56.000 That means I only see blacks who are Democrats.
00:06:59.000 The others don't exist.
00:07:02.000 In other words, you're my pet.
00:07:05.000 You're my doggy.
00:07:07.000 And we saw them get mad at their doggies when they voted against Prop 8 in California.
00:07:11.000 And they said, actually, I'm really Christian and gay marriage kind of sketches me out.
00:07:14.000 I'm a 70-year-old black lady.
00:07:18.000 So I don't want to do it.
00:07:20.000 And they said, what did the DNC say after that?
00:07:22.000 They said, bad doggy, no.
00:07:24.000 And they put them in a kennel.
00:07:26.000 And they got a new dog called trans.
00:07:30.000 And the problem with rescues is you don't know where they're coming from.
00:07:34.000 And I think they quickly learned, uh, trans people are fucking mental patients.
00:07:39.000 And I thought they were the perfect victims because so many of them die, but I looked into it and they're all like meth heads fighting their thug boyfriends who are raping them.
00:07:49.000 And then they're stabbing another trans.
00:07:51.000 And this is a mess.
00:07:52.000 I want my old pet back.
00:07:54.000 And so they tried to get the old pet and it sort of worked.
00:07:59.000 But it's bonafide.
00:08:02.000 You know what this makes me think of?
00:08:06.000 This, that with Craig James Anderson there, we showed you bona fide racism.
00:08:11.000 There are examples of racism.
00:08:12.000 There are genuine patterns in America of race hatred.
00:08:18.000 And whenever I show them to people, they go, I don't like that kind.
00:08:22.000 I want this kind.
00:08:23.000 I want NYPD to be racist.
00:08:26.000 Okay, but you're turning them into monsters and that's getting them killed, right?
00:08:31.000 We had Wen Jian Liu and Rafael Ramos murdered, a Hispanic and a Chinese cop murdered in their cars because of that narrative that the NYPD is racist.
00:08:41.000 You murdered them.
00:08:42.000 The media is responsible for that death.
00:08:45.000 But I can be black.
00:08:49.000 Look, I'm going to put this shirt on and I'm going to show you real victims.
00:08:57.000 Should we do this?
00:08:58.000 I love majors Chips So good news.
00:09:05.000 There was a third arrest in the Ahmed Arbury case.
00:09:08.000 The guy who filmed it, who brought it to our attention, was just arrested and charged with murder, which is fantastic because there is a pattern going on here.
00:09:17.000 And in this case, it was white people hunting black joggers like some sort of dystopian safari.
00:09:23.000 And I'm glad it came to the news and I'm glad we heard about it.
00:09:26.000 But there's a lot of stories we don't hear about for some strange reason.
00:09:31.000 Like this beautiful woman, Martha McKay.
00:09:34.000 This just happened.
00:09:35.000 Now, this woman, about 24 years ago, this piece of shit, Travis Lewis, he murdered her mother and her cousin for no apparent reason.
00:09:46.000 He got 28 years, and Martha, being a good Christian, let's go back to her.
00:09:51.000 I don't want to see his face.
00:09:52.000 Martha, being a good Christian woman, forgave him, actually petitioned to have him let out sooner than 28.
00:09:59.000 He ended up getting out in 24 years.
00:10:02.000 And then you know what she did with the good of her heart?
00:10:04.000 She had him work at her inn that she runs, a bed and breakfast.
00:10:09.000 And he repaid her by robbing her of $10,000 and stabbing her to death.
00:10:15.000 Barely any coverage in the news whatsoever.
00:10:18.000 And another example of the pattern here, and this just happened a month previous.
00:10:22.000 This postal worker, Angela Summers, 45, was gunned down by a guy named Tony Cushingberry.
00:10:32.000 This piece of shit killed her.
00:10:34.000 And we're finding out now it was likely because she was late with his, whatever that stupid check was that we have for the coronavirus.
00:10:45.000 Stimulus check.
00:10:46.000 Now here's, this is, and so that's the two just this month.
00:10:50.000 But I want to show you that this pattern has been going on for a long time.
00:10:53.000 Back in 2011, we had this Norwegian guy or Serbian or something, Nikozi Thandue, and he said, I'm going to kill black people today.
00:11:01.000 That was his goal.
00:11:02.000 He made it clear.
00:11:03.000 He'd been learning about all the horrible things black people do in school.
00:11:06.000 And he just brought a gun, shot these three strangers on the street.
00:11:12.000 And Brittany Watts died in Georgia.
00:11:15.000 But one of the most shocking cases I dug up, and I hadn't heard of this, but it was in 2007.
00:11:22.000 This beautiful young couple in their early 20s, Channon Christian, that's the girl, and that guy, Christopher Newsom, were attacked by a mob of these five disgusting individuals.
00:11:36.000 I'm shocked that a woman was involved in this murder because wait till you hear the details.
00:11:42.000 So that, go back to that cute black couple.
00:11:43.000 I don't want to look at those scumbags.
00:11:45.000 They were leaving an apartment together on the evening of January 6, 2007 to go to a friend's party when they were abducted by that mob we just showed and then tortured, murdered, raped for two days.
00:11:57.000 Eventually murdered.
00:11:58.000 For two days.
00:12:00.000 Newsom's body, that's the guy, right?
00:12:03.000 Yeah.
00:12:04.000 Newsom's body was discovered near a set of nearby railroad tracks.
00:12:08.000 He had been bound, blindfolded, gagged, and stripped naked from the waist down.
00:12:12.000 He had been shot in the back of the head, neck, and back, and his body had been set on fire.
00:12:17.000 According to the testimony of the Knox County Acting Medical Examiner at the trial of Eric Boyd, Newsom was sodomized with an object and raped by a person.
00:12:26.000 Police believe these actions took place at the house, and his body was later wrapped in a bandit.
00:12:30.000 What they did to this poor girl is even worse, if you can imagine.
00:12:34.000 Christian died after hours of torture, sustaining traumatic brain injuries and suffering injuries to her vagina, anus, and mouth due to repeated sexual assault over two days.
00:12:46.000 Before killing her, in an effort to remove DNA evidence, her attackers poured bleach down her throat and scrubbed her body with it.
00:12:53.000 That's not what killed her, though.
00:12:54.000 She was bound with curtains and strips of bedding with her face covered with a trash Bag and her body stashed in five large other trash bags.
00:13:03.000 These were placed inside a residential waste disposal unit and covered with sheets and garbage from Wendy's.
00:13:08.000 The medical examiner said there was evidence that Christian slowly suffocated to death.
00:13:13.000 So this pattern of racism, racial hate, hate crimes has been going on for a long time.
00:13:20.000 It didn't end with Jim Crow.
00:13:21.000 It didn't end with slavery.
00:13:23.000 And even just this weekend, we see that there was a guy who says, I like to beat up old black people.
00:13:30.000 He works at a nursing home and he films himself beating vulnerable elderly black people.
00:13:37.000 Now, NSFW, this is really harsh to watch.
00:13:40.000 In fact, don't play it so we can show this on YouTube.
00:13:43.000 But we have footage of the...
00:13:48.000 That's a black guy beating up old white people.
00:13:52.000 Wait a minute.
00:13:52.000 Did you totally screw up these notes?
00:13:56.000 No, that's the person who did it.
00:13:59.000 That was what?
00:14:01.000 Who's Martha McKay at the beginning?
00:14:04.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:14:06.000 This is Martha McKay, you dumbass.
00:14:08.000 That's the one who got stabbed after getting robbed by Travis Lewis.
00:14:11.000 Where's Travis Lewis?
00:14:13.000 It's that guy.
00:14:14.000 Dude, what the fuck have you done here?
00:14:16.000 What about the postal worker, Angela Summers?
00:14:18.000 That's her.
00:14:19.000 She wasn't an activist?
00:14:20.000 That's Tony Cushingberry?
00:14:22.000 Oh, please tell me the Norwegian was Norwegian.
00:14:25.000 No, I think he's African or something.
00:14:27.000 Oh my God.
00:14:28.000 The Tennessee murders, that must...
00:14:31.000 These guys.
00:14:32.000 That was the group of people that killed.
00:14:34.000 The dumpsters.
00:14:34.000 That's who did it?
00:14:35.000 And who were the victims?
00:14:37.000 These poor people.
00:14:38.000 You fucking idiot.
00:14:40.000 That totally destroys the whole pattern.
00:14:43.000 What are you doing?
00:14:44.000 I ask you to do research and you don't know what the hell you're doing.
00:14:48.000 Where did I go?
00:14:48.000 Put me back.
00:14:49.000 What is this?
00:14:51.000 This is a graph, and it's actually a bigger gap once you factor in how disproportionate the population is.
00:14:56.000 Told you not to say disproportionate.
00:14:58.000 *Dramatic Music*
00:15:07.000 Way to go, shit lips.
00:15:08.000 Look at this.
00:15:09.000 Look at this.
00:15:10.000 Oh, it's cracked.
00:15:12.000 You broke the fucking camera.
00:15:14.000 I did?
00:15:15.000 Yes.
00:15:16.000 Disproportionate.
00:15:16.000 Wow.
00:15:18.000 I guess in so many ways.
00:15:20.000 I don't like noticing patterns.
00:15:22.000 It's racist.
00:15:24.000 You only choose things where the black guy is the victim, like a jogger.
00:15:30.000 Like pretend that Mike Brown had his hands up.
00:15:32.000 Or if you're talking about Trayvon, find a picture of him when he's a little kid.
00:15:37.000 And make sure it's not clear that Trayvon Martin is over six feet tall.
00:15:41.000 Make him look like a little child.
00:15:43.000 And the same with Ahmed Arbry.
00:15:44.000 Find his graduation picture where he has a little bow tie.
00:15:47.000 Don't show him in his summer parka.
00:15:49.000 Can you fix the viewfinder on this thing?
00:15:57.000 My boiler blew on Friday.
00:16:00.000 Let's get down to some important news.
00:16:03.000 My boiler blew on Friday.
00:16:05.000 So it's Friday, 5 p.m.
00:16:08.000 Friday, 5 p.m., a pandemic Memorial Day weekend.
00:16:12.000 So I'm going to have no hot water till probably at least a week, right?
00:16:18.000 And then I remember, wait a minute, I know plumbers.
00:16:20.000 It's so important at my age to have a guy.
00:16:23.000 You need to have a guy for that.
00:16:25.000 And that's what you do as an adult male dad.
00:16:27.000 You accrue guys.
00:16:29.000 And it's not, you're not using them, but you just socialize with people and you're like, oh, you do that?
00:16:33.000 Oh, okay.
00:16:34.000 And then if they need you, like I'll loan out my green screen for a friend or if someone needs something to film, I'll lend them my Ryan.
00:16:43.000 So I'm a guy for people.
00:16:45.000 And then I have guys.
00:16:48.000 So this plumber dude comes by and he says, I'll open the shop.
00:16:53.000 I'll get the tank.
00:16:54.000 Don't worry about it.
00:16:55.000 Charges me $1,700.
00:16:57.000 Total, total, total.
00:16:59.000 And it's not an easy thing to do.
00:17:00.000 Because there's gas that heats the boiler.
00:17:03.000 So you have to attach the gas, make sure there's no leaks.
00:17:06.000 Then you have to attach the water coming in, the water going out.
00:17:08.000 Those are copper pipes.
00:17:09.000 Those all have to be welded and they have to match, obviously.
00:17:12.000 Oh, you got that Jared Holt photo?
00:17:14.000 Oh, boy.
00:17:15.000 Sup.
00:17:16.000 You know what?
00:17:17.000 He could be is mentally ill.
00:17:19.000 Like he's an autistic kid.
00:17:22.000 And they just sort of sicked him on mythical Nazis.
00:17:25.000 Look at those legs.
00:17:26.000 What an absolute twat.
00:17:28.000 Did you almost puke?
00:17:30.000 I mean, they're bad, but that's pretty.
00:17:32.000 Where are the calves?
00:17:33.000 What's up with them?
00:17:35.000 Whatever.
00:17:36.000 The way he rides his bike is 90% thigh.
00:17:41.000 Go up a bit?
00:17:41.000 What are his tattoos?
00:17:43.000 I think they're flowers.
00:17:44.000 I thought it was unethical to tattoo emu legs.
00:17:47.000 The grateful dead.
00:17:48.000 We'll all be grateful when you die, Jared.
00:17:49.000 You fucking listen.
00:17:53.000 Oh, man.
00:17:54.000 And they took out the old boy.
00:17:55.000 Here's something.
00:17:55.000 This is boring dad talk.
00:17:56.000 And this is what men talk about in bars, by the way.
00:17:58.000 You want to go behind the scenes into Dadland?
00:18:01.000 Someone came by and picked up my old boiler.
00:18:06.000 How is that financially viable?
00:18:09.000 There's a little bit of copper on it.
00:18:11.000 We know copper is really expensive, right?
00:18:13.000 But steel is going for like pennies a pound.
00:18:16.000 So it weighs it.
00:18:18.000 It's not that much steel, right?
00:18:20.000 It's just a sheet, a round sheet, obviously.
00:18:22.000 It's hollow.
00:18:23.000 It's for boiling water.
00:18:25.000 And I'm thinking, there's no way this guy could get more than five bucks for this.
00:18:31.000 But he waits outside in his truck and we load it in.
00:18:34.000 Like the plumber that I was with gave him a big bucket of old copper just to make his trip worth it.
00:18:40.000 But I don't get the economics of that.
00:18:42.000 And then I was talking to another dad.
00:18:44.000 I call him C Kifa because he's South African.
00:18:48.000 And people don't get that South Africans, they don't, it's not that they think blacks are lesser than them.
00:18:53.000 They think everyone's lesser than them.
00:18:55.000 Boers.
00:18:56.000 Everyone is a kifa, which is the N-word over there.
00:18:59.000 You're either a boar or you're human garbage.
00:19:01.000 Like they don't like Russians or Spanish people or Germans.
00:19:06.000 So when he was dating this girl, this boar, shoot the boar.
00:19:13.000 Shoot the kill.
00:19:15.000 The father found out and he goes, why are you dating a Sikifa?
00:19:18.000 Because he's from Greece.
00:19:20.000 So they see Greeks as sea niggers.
00:19:24.000 That's a bit rich.
00:19:26.000 So every time I see him, I call him Sikifa.
00:19:28.000 Anyway, he told me that he was replacing all these boilers in these buildings in New York.
00:19:32.000 And they would call the scrapyard and they'd say, if you come down here, you can get the used boiler for free, but you got to help me bring in the new one.
00:19:41.000 They never lifted, and the things are heavy.
00:19:43.000 They're probably like 100 pounds.
00:19:46.000 they never lifted one boiler up or down because the people, the scrap guys were so happy, grin ear to ear, to get this $5 piece of shit.
00:19:56.000 Am I dumb?
00:19:57.000 I'm lost.
00:19:58.000 I don't understand why you would do all that work for $5.
00:20:01.000 Go work at McDonald's.
00:20:02.000 You get $15 every single hour.
00:20:05.000 And free burgers, too.
00:20:08.000 Can they eat the burgers?
00:20:10.000 Yeah, you can get it for your lunch break.
00:20:11.000 Yeah, they'll give you some burgers.
00:20:12.000 You have no idea what you're talking about.
00:20:14.000 Well, I've worked at February Dunn.
00:20:15.000 And we can't show, Ryan, because I stepped on the camera cord and broke it.
00:20:18.000 Two cameras you've broken.
00:20:19.000 Well, I've broke it.
00:20:20.000 We're even with the broken camera.
00:20:22.000 What did you break?
00:20:24.000 I guess broke that one that you just threw the can at, and then you broke the other one.
00:20:29.000 But I've worked at a Dunkin' Donuts before, so you can eat free food.
00:20:32.000 Of course.
00:20:35.000 So Dunkin' Donuts has the same policies as McDonald's?
00:20:37.000 I would think they have an inventory for each patty.
00:20:40.000 I mean, inventory must be very important to McDonald's.
00:20:40.000 I don't care.
00:20:43.000 Anyway.
00:20:43.000 You can get about 200 or 500 per ton.
00:20:47.000 Oh, God.
00:20:49.000 A ton.
00:20:49.000 You're not getting much money at all.
00:20:52.000 So 500 per ton.
00:20:54.000 Look up how much a boiler weighs.
00:20:57.000 How many tanks are in a ton?
00:20:59.000 Most traditional tank-style heaters weigh about 150 pounds.
00:21:02.000 When drained, 2018's rate, you could expect an amount of $30 at the scrapyard.
00:21:10.000 Realistically, you bring a water heater.
00:21:12.000 You may only get about $7 to $10, depending on the prices at the scrapyards.
00:21:16.000 Wow.
00:21:17.000 $7 to $10.
00:21:18.000 That guy to drive out to my house, wait outside, get it put in for $17 on a Saturday?
00:21:26.000 It definitely, top to bottom, was over an hour.
00:21:28.000 So you're not making a minimum wage.
00:21:30.000 Go to McDonald's.
00:21:31.000 McDonald's should always be your baseline, by the way, unless you're starting a new company and you know you're not going to make money for two years.
00:21:36.000 But as far as like your day-to-day goes, I would always use $15 as a metric.
00:21:41.000 Anyway, this gets interesting, or at least to me, and I don't care what you think.
00:21:46.000 Plumbers have different levels, right?
00:21:48.000 If you can do gas, you have your gas license, you can do this.
00:21:51.000 If you have your gas inspection license, it keeps going up.
00:21:54.000 So a loser plumber who's a lazy piece of shit and doesn't get any licenses, barely speaks English, he's looking at like 60 to 70 grand a year.
00:22:04.000 What?
00:22:05.000 But as you get licenses and you start getting guys under you and getting good at it, if you will, you're making 250K.
00:22:14.000 So anyway, the two guys were talking, the owner, who's my buddy, and then he's talking to this guy that works for him.
00:22:19.000 And he says, I got to do a ton of inspections in the city next week and I don't have time.
00:22:23.000 It's this seven-hour course.
00:22:25.000 You should take it.
00:22:28.000 Eddie should take it.
00:22:29.000 And then there was this Mexican guy who was working with them who was, you could tell, was just like one tier below both of them.
00:22:35.000 And he'd be running and getting stuff and they're joking with them, right?
00:22:39.000 And then it's sort of like the elephant in the room.
00:22:42.000 Like, why aren't you saying I should take it?
00:22:44.000 And I would be insulted if I was that guy.
00:22:46.000 But they go, they look at Carlos and they go, you, and they laugh at the thought of him taking the course.
00:22:53.000 And then he laughs.
00:22:57.000 This is profound.
00:22:58.000 He laughs because he knows that he couldn't pass that course.
00:23:02.000 And they're all enjoying it together in a fun way.
00:23:05.000 You have a lower IQ.
00:23:07.000 You don't speak English very well.
00:23:08.000 You could never pass that course.
00:23:09.000 And it's a fact, right?
00:23:11.000 Now, this is what Charles Murray and Richard Hernstein were trying to get across in that controversial book that has students screaming at Charles Murray for doing a talk about race and IQ.
00:23:24.000 It's assumed that the point was to say blacks have lower IQs and deserve less and blah, blah, blah.
00:23:29.000 That's what the assumption is.
00:23:30.000 That's not what they were going for.
00:23:32.000 They were talking about patterns with IQ to show you that IQ is basically what you're born with, end of the day.
00:23:39.000 And what was their impetus for that?
00:23:41.000 What was their motive?
00:23:42.000 Their motive was to get back to what I just told you, to get back to the 50s where IQ wasn't seen as a thing.
00:23:51.000 It wasn't a big deal.
00:23:52.000 And you still see that in working class New York.
00:23:55.000 Like my buddy Tommy's a union electrician.
00:23:58.000 And I go, I think I told you this before, but I go, are you using your vacation house as your primary residence?
00:24:03.000 Because you should.
00:24:04.000 Then you can write off your own home as your vacation home.
00:24:07.000 You just have to make sure the heat is up to 70 the whole winter and it's cost effective.
00:24:12.000 And he goes, what?
00:24:13.000 Don't talk to me with that kind of shit.
00:24:14.000 I'm dumb.
00:24:15.000 That's Claire.
00:24:16.000 That's his wife.
00:24:17.000 I'm dumb.
00:24:19.000 Like a cool thing.
00:24:20.000 Remember pencil-necked geeks, nerds?
00:24:23.000 We used to wedgy nerds?
00:24:26.000 So I thought it was really cool to see that that is still the way amongst the working folks.
00:24:33.000 They're still not like, I could be anything.
00:24:36.000 I need, all you need is a college education.
00:24:39.000 That's such a crock of shit.
00:24:41.000 And it's based on such shitty logic.
00:24:43.000 You know what it's based on?
00:24:44.000 Well, this guy didn't go to Harvard and he makes 40 grand a year.
00:24:48.000 This guy went to Harvard and he makes 200 grand a year.
00:24:52.000 Ergo, everyone should go to Harvard.
00:24:55.000 I could take that same dude who's making 200 grand a year and send him to fucking Cambodia to be raised by rice farmers, still making 200 grand a year.
00:25:08.000 Harvard has nothing to do with it.
00:25:10.000 It's like these idiots who think that, what's that baby genius thing where they would play babies classical music and then they noticed those kids?
00:25:18.000 Baby Mozart.
00:25:19.000 Baby Mozart.
00:25:20.000 They noticed that the kids were smarter.
00:25:22.000 Yeah, because intelligent parents try stupid shit like that because they want their kids to be better.
00:25:28.000 So they come from loving families.
00:25:31.000 And people have high IQs if they're familiar with Mozart.
00:25:35.000 That's why the baby's smart, baby Einstein, it was called.
00:25:38.000 So it's this like cause and effect mistake that has everyone thinking education is magic.
00:25:44.000 College is a waste of time.
00:25:46.000 It's a stupid machine.
00:25:48.000 And you go, you get irreconcilable debt to become stupider.
00:25:54.000 Why would you do that?
00:25:59.000 I hate this fucking shit.
00:26:03.000 Speaking of bad decisions, do you know about this Call Her Daddy controversy?
00:26:08.000 Now, Call Her Daddy is a very successful podcast that was on Barstool Sports.
00:26:14.000 Millions and millions of listeners.
00:26:16.000 I actually had bookmarked it and subscribed because I thought it sounds cool, but I never got around to it.
00:26:21.000 It's run by two super hot chicks, Sophia Something and Blonde Chick.
00:26:28.000 That's what they're called.
00:26:30.000 The blonde chick dated Noah Syndergaard.
00:26:33.000 I want to eat her out just so I can see what Noah Syndergaard's dick tastes like.
00:26:38.000 That would be an honor.
00:26:39.000 Big Mets fan?
00:26:40.000 That's how much of a Mets fan I am.
00:26:43.000 No, no, I like the Boston Red Sox.
00:26:47.000 Yeah, you're eating around and you're like, oh, she's like, wow, you're really into my pussy.
00:26:51.000 How come you don't moan like that when we make out or do anything else?
00:26:54.000 It's just that Thor has been here.
00:26:56.000 He's been inside here.
00:26:58.000 He's been inside here.
00:26:59.000 She's like, okay, all right.
00:27:00.000 Hell.
00:27:03.000 Wouldn't that be weird if some lesbian courted you and started blowing you because she was in love with your ex?
00:27:11.000 Interesting concept.
00:27:12.000 Yeah.
00:27:12.000 Sounds like a movie.
00:27:13.000 Sounds like a movie.
00:27:15.000 Sounds like a toad.
00:27:16.000 Anyway, this is a great example of women in the workforce.
00:27:18.000 So I don't know which thing you should pull up first.
00:27:21.000 Go back to that.
00:27:21.000 So the blonde and her would do like dirty talk shit, which is sort of like mild prostitution.
00:27:27.000 It's not that different from OnlyFans, where these two girls sit down and they're like, I was blowing this guy on Friday and he was like, blow me, blow me.
00:27:33.000 And I was like, well, and, you know, horny dudes like to hear chicks talk about gross stuff like that.
00:27:38.000 And then I had to fart.
00:27:39.000 So I went to the other room and then I farted and then I came back and he ate meat in my butt or whatever, blah, blah, blah.
00:27:44.000 So it's like basically softcore porn, which by the way, Stacey Abrams wrote.
00:27:50.000 Like we're wondering what skeletons she has in her closet if she becomes VP.
00:27:54.000 She wrote softcore porn.
00:27:56.000 She wrote like 50 Shades of Gray type shit.
00:27:59.000 Anyway, don't look that up.
00:28:02.000 So these girls are doing that.
00:28:04.000 They're doing really well and they're getting to the next level.
00:28:08.000 So they start negotiating with Dave Portnoy, who is a Jew.
00:28:12.000 And my experience personally has been Jews are tough negotiators.
00:28:17.000 Fortunately, I am Scottish.
00:28:19.000 So you want to play hardball?
00:28:20.000 I'll go down to the pennies for days.
00:28:23.000 Scots are way cheaper than Jews could ever dream to be.
00:28:27.000 That being said, though, the way I negotiate is like, yeah.
00:28:32.000 So, and my dad taught me this.
00:28:34.000 He's like, someone offers you a shitty salary, just say yes, get the job, get going, and then someone will poach you or they'll realize your value and they'll up your salary.
00:28:44.000 So your worth works itself out.
00:28:46.000 You obviously don't let people take advantage of you for a long time, but as far as getting in the door, I always just say yes.
00:28:52.000 And if someone negotiates too high, like say censored.tv, say some negotiator wants some exorbitant amount, within reason, I might do it.
00:29:00.000 But now you've done a thing called over-negotiating.
00:29:03.000 And now I will drop you like that.
00:29:06.000 If your show is so expensive, it doesn't pay for itself with subscribers, you're walking on thin ice.
00:29:12.000 Whereas if someone under-negotiates, I'll let them coast for a few Ps because they're not really hurting the bottom line.
00:29:19.000 Anyway, the blonde gets that.
00:29:22.000 But go to 1-8.
00:29:24.000 Adam Schultz, is that his name?
00:29:27.000 Andrew Schultz.
00:29:28.000 He's really, he's fucking hitting it out of the park these days with his show.
00:29:32.000 Except for this.
00:29:33.000 Pause.
00:29:34.000 Another.
00:29:35.000 Never, ever.
00:29:37.000 Show your socks on TV.
00:29:40.000 What are you doing?
00:29:42.000 This is one thing I hated about Canada.
00:29:45.000 You'd have a big party in the winter, and the whole party would just be everyone in their socks.
00:29:49.000 You can't really...
00:29:52.000 Even in my own home, I'm wearing shoes right till bedtime.
00:29:55.000 Like, what if you got to run outside or get something?
00:29:56.000 And you're just not a man in socks.
00:29:58.000 I'm sorry.
00:29:58.000 Yeah, it's not.
00:29:59.000 It's like a wool hat.
00:30:01.000 You look like a dishweed.
00:30:03.000 I just made that out.
00:30:04.000 Yeah, okay.
00:30:05.000 It's like douchebag, dish rag.
00:30:08.000 But look at, and also, Andrew, never sit like that.
00:30:12.000 Look at your little toes all curled up.
00:30:14.000 I've never sat like that in my life.
00:30:16.000 Not since I was maybe six.
00:30:19.000 So that's really off-putting.
00:30:20.000 Anyway, this guy was, this story sucks, by the way.
00:30:25.000 It's like 10 minutes long.
00:30:26.000 And the story is that Andrew Schultz was going to go on a date with the brunette, Sophia, and he dumped her.
00:30:32.000 He flaked out at the last second.
00:30:34.000 He just wanted to watch the game.
00:30:35.000 I guess that's the way it is with young people today.
00:30:37.000 You just like turn down a blowjob from a 10.
00:30:40.000 Not that young.
00:30:43.000 Just like negotiating, when I was dating, I was like, yep.
00:30:46.000 And if they were hideous, I just go, can we go somewhere where my friends won't see me?
00:30:52.000 The higher the number, the closer to my neighborhood we would go on the date.
00:30:56.000 If she was a nine, we're going downstairs to Max Fish.
00:30:58.000 If she's a four, let's meet in Brooklyn.
00:31:03.000 You want to walk around Washington Heights and see if they have any bars?
00:31:07.000 Let's go to Harlem.
00:31:08.000 Want to go to the Apollo Theater?
00:31:10.000 Staten Island fans?
00:31:11.000 Yeah, I think there's one bar on Roosevelt Island.
00:31:14.000 Let's ride the tram.
00:31:16.000 After the ferry ride, I'll hold your hand.
00:31:18.000 Yeah, I'll meet you at Roosevelt Island and get good at it, if you will.
00:31:22.000 Anyway, so this dude turns her down.
00:31:25.000 She ends up going with this HBO guy and they fall in love.
00:31:28.000 And he tells her, you know, you're worth a hell of a lot more than what they're offering you.
00:31:34.000 And she becomes a cunt.
00:31:37.000 End of story.
00:31:39.000 So Dave Portnoy, they keep negotiating and negotiating.
00:31:43.000 This blonde chick is saying, yes, I'm into it.
00:31:46.000 Let's do it.
00:31:47.000 And then the Sophia chick becomes Palestine.
00:31:51.000 Now, Palestine, Palestinians, you could never give them a deal.
00:31:57.000 Their whole role is to fight.
00:31:59.000 And the reason I'm bringing up this whole story is it's women in the workforce.
00:32:02.000 All it takes is one little resputant to piss in one woman's ear, and the whole thing collapses.
00:32:07.000 These two are not friends anymore.
00:32:08.000 The thing's gone.
00:32:09.000 They got their IP, which you never get.
00:32:12.000 So they own callherdaddy.com, whatever.
00:32:15.000 They got like 20% on all their sales.
00:32:19.000 All of these unprecedented deals.
00:32:21.000 Dave Porton, I just thought, I love you guys as the brand.
00:32:24.000 Overnegotiate, overnegotiate.
00:32:26.000 And they eventually just walked out of the room saying no.
00:32:29.000 And that was the end Of everything.
00:32:31.000 Like, just say yes and do it.
00:32:33.000 The negotiations you're talking about are like amounting to $2,000 a year.
00:32:38.000 Fucking stop.
00:32:39.000 And this happened with Bill Clinton, God bless his cotton socks.
00:32:42.000 He offered Yasser Arafat a deal.
00:32:45.000 I think this was in 95, I forget the year.
00:32:52.000 But he sat down in Camp David and offered Yasser Arafat a deal where the Israelis went, what the fuck are you doing?
00:32:59.000 This is really shitty for us.
00:33:00.000 And he goes, you're going to take it, Israel, or you're going to lose my money.
00:33:04.000 And they go, fuck.
00:33:06.000 This is a stab in the back.
00:33:08.000 I can't believe he's giving Yasser Arafat everything and we're not getting nothing.
00:33:12.000 And Yasser Arafat went outside and then he came back and said, the deal's off and left.
00:33:18.000 Because he can't get a deal.
00:33:20.000 If he came back and said, we negotiated something, we no longer have to terrorize Israel.
00:33:25.000 He'd get killed because that's their job.
00:33:27.000 Woodchucks, Chuck Wood.
00:33:29.000 Palestinians, Chuck Stones.
00:33:32.000 That's a good one.
00:33:32.000 That's a t-shirt.
00:33:33.000 That's not bad.
00:33:34.000 Oh, you made that up?
00:33:34.000 Yeah.
00:33:35.000 I thought that was like a thing.
00:33:36.000 No, I just made it up right now.
00:33:37.000 Speaking of t-shirts, by the way, we've got new t-shirts in the store.
00:33:40.000 I'm very happy with this one because I'm on it.
00:33:44.000 Out for Bud.
00:33:45.000 We'll see how long it takes to get sued.
00:33:46.000 Maybe Jared Holt will announce to Budweiser that we've used their logo.
00:33:52.000 And then there's this one we've wanted to make for a long time.
00:33:54.000 I feel like I'm a toad with Dinesh D'Souza's lips and eyes on a toad.
00:34:00.000 I hope he's not offended by that.
00:34:02.000 I understand you're using my likeness to make money.
00:34:05.000 Oh, silly.
00:34:05.000 Dinesh thinks he's a toad.
00:34:07.000 That's crazy.
00:34:08.000 Dinesh thinks he's a toad.
00:34:10.000 You know what's great about this shirt?
00:34:12.000 So she's crying, oink, oink, you monsters, because the MTA said they're going to get more police and that would be bad for blacks.
00:34:19.000 And at that same rally, about 10 feet from her, actually, was a woman holding a sign that said, the subway should be free, which I looked it up.
00:34:26.000 No subways are free anywhere in the world.
00:34:28.000 But she got her wish.
00:34:31.000 And during this pandemic, the amount of police on the subways has gone down to almost nothing.
00:34:36.000 And what's the result, you dumb bitch?
00:34:38.000 The result is shit up and down.
00:34:42.000 People, homeless people piling up their crap to the ceiling.
00:34:47.000 She can't get by them.
00:34:48.000 They've totally taken over.
00:34:49.000 The subway is fucking disgusting.
00:34:52.000 And the crime is so rampant that the MTA is now considering hiring their own security force.
00:34:59.000 Remember that little fat black one we saw get kicked so hard, she rolled across the platform like a donut and fell onto the tracks?
00:35:07.000 We also have...
00:35:14.000 Oh, yes.
00:35:14.000 We can't.
00:35:16.000 Show it on this broken camera and not that broken camera.
00:35:19.000 Come on over here, sweetie.
00:35:22.000 Invade Greenland.
00:35:24.000 Greenland.
00:35:24.000 Gotta tuck it.
00:35:26.000 Don't tuck in your t-shirt.
00:35:28.000 Don't do any of that.
00:35:29.000 Don't roll up your t-shirt.
00:35:31.000 That's for like bodybuilders in the 80s.
00:35:33.000 And don't tuck in your t-shirt.
00:35:34.000 You look like a chubby lesbian.
00:35:38.000 T-shirts are casual wear.
00:35:40.000 I'm not joking, by the way, about invade Greenland.
00:35:43.000 I want Trump to old school colonization, get on some boats, get some planes, drop some bombs.
00:35:50.000 Try not to kill anyone.
00:35:51.000 Try to negotiate first.
00:35:53.000 I'm sure they'll just let you have it, right?
00:35:54.000 Denmark has a smaller army than the NYPD.
00:35:57.000 Just take it.
00:35:59.000 And same with Turkmenistan.
00:36:00.000 Let's just go there and just shoot the guy in the head.
00:36:03.000 This is ours now.
00:36:05.000 We have the, what do they have?
00:36:07.000 They have natural gas, I think.
00:36:09.000 Oh, yes.
00:36:10.000 That might piss off Russia, though.
00:36:11.000 Russia has a deal with them.
00:36:12.000 Why don't we just go to Putin?
00:36:14.000 Hey, we're going to be invading Turkmenistan.
00:36:15.000 And you could start a world war and fuck with us.
00:36:19.000 I don't think you want to do that.
00:36:21.000 Why don't you just let us have it?
00:36:22.000 It literally has a gateway to hell in the country.
00:36:26.000 That's a permanently...
00:36:33.000 And instead of getting it and harboring that energy, they just lit it on fire.
00:36:38.000 So it's just a permanent flaming fire.
00:36:40.000 It's just the world's most boring volcano.
00:36:45.000 And then there's this shirt.
00:36:47.000 Get fired.
00:36:47.000 Get in trouble.
00:36:48.000 Be brave.
00:36:49.000 And never stop fighting.
00:36:53.000 We also have stickers coming in.
00:36:56.000 This would be so awesome on your car.
00:36:58.000 I love this because people don't know what the fuck.
00:37:01.000 What are you talking about?
00:37:02.000 And what are you going to offend someone?
00:37:04.000 I don't want to invade Greenland.
00:37:06.000 Okay, don't.
00:37:06.000 And it's a white country, so there's no way they have sympathy for them.
00:37:09.000 Yeah, they don't care.
00:37:12.000 It's like the white farmers in South Africa.
00:37:14.000 They don't give a shit.
00:37:16.000 Handy tip, if you're trying to get someone to empathize with the plight of the white farmers in South Africa, just tell the whole story as dogs.
00:37:26.000 And then when you're done, go, oh, no, those weren't dogs I was talking about.
00:37:29.000 Those were human beings.
00:37:32.000 And then they can use their sympathy they had for the dog and put it to something that actually matters and isn't a fucking loser.
00:37:37.000 The old switcheroo.
00:37:38.000 I had a great idea, by the way, for South African farmers.
00:37:43.000 They, like, I have cameras all over my house and I can access the cameras wherever I am through my app.
00:37:54.000 All South African farmers should have a network where they access each other's cameras.
00:37:59.000 And there's live streams going 24 hours a day.
00:38:03.000 So when you look at your wall of TVs or whether it's on your phone or your computer or whatever, you have your thing, but then swipe.
00:38:09.000 You go over and you have the Sikifa's proppity.
00:38:13.000 And you can see all his, you know, 15 angles.
00:38:17.000 And then swipe.
00:38:18.000 And they should stream it.
00:38:20.000 Constantly.
00:38:20.000 So it's like it's a live check in there.
00:38:23.000 It's not helpful to see previously recorded security footage, Ryan.
00:38:28.000 Wow.
00:38:29.000 Hey, I'm Ryan Katsu Rivera.
00:38:31.000 I'd like to contribute to your idea.
00:38:33.000 How about the cameras broadcast live?
00:38:35.000 But we don't just show the property three years ago.
00:38:38.000 Oh, I thought you meant just to each other, but they're to the world.
00:38:41.000 No, no, only people you trust.
00:38:43.000 They don't trust each other.
00:38:44.000 What they do now is they email each other on these stupid archaic chats and say, g'd eye, gaddai.
00:38:50.000 Everyone okay?
00:38:51.000 I'm doing Australian now.
00:38:53.000 Everyone okay?
00:38:54.000 And then if someone doesn't respond, they go, uh-oh, Willie didn't respond.
00:38:56.000 Let's go check his farm.
00:38:57.000 Oh, his head's chopped off.
00:38:58.000 That's primitive.
00:38:59.000 Yeah, we're not Doing that.
00:39:00.000 That's as bad as calling the police in that it will take too long.
00:39:06.000 Wait, what?
00:39:09.000 What, what?
00:39:10.000 Stop farm murder.
00:39:12.000 Oh, I guess these are.
00:39:13.000 Dude, you have to understand South Africa is not blacks versus whites.
00:39:17.000 It's four tribes versus four tribes, and one of the tribes is the white farmers.
00:39:22.000 But it's really Marxists versus capitalists.
00:39:25.000 And there's going to be a civil war there that won't be black on white.
00:39:28.000 It'll be these four black tribes, and then these three tribes and this one white tribe.
00:39:35.000 But we oversimplify things here in America.
00:39:38.000 And Ahmed Arbery is a jogger who was just going to his friend's house to practice algebra.
00:39:45.000 And if you say otherwise, Jared Holt will get you fired.
00:39:48.000 We should get her on the show, by the way.
00:39:51.000 So go back to that chick.
00:39:53.000 It's kind of interesting.
00:39:54.000 It's really long.
00:39:55.000 This is sorry, one, nine.
00:39:57.000 It's really long, but it's just a great example of women in the workforce.
00:40:01.000 So by the way, these women are essentially prostitutes, right?
00:40:05.000 So selling sex as a woman is only fans.
00:40:08.000 Talking about blowjobs, it's the easiest thing to do.
00:40:10.000 All women have this commodity.
00:40:12.000 I got to convey this to my daughter soon because she's getting of that age.
00:40:17.000 Your chastity has currency, right?
00:40:22.000 Think of it as a brand.
00:40:24.000 And if you go to high school and you just start handing it out to everyone, you've diluted its value.
00:40:29.000 Now you're less valuable.
00:40:33.000 Like if Coca-Cola started endorsing everything and you saw their logo on garbage and disgusting, shitty products that gave you diarrhea, you'd go, I don't like Coca-Cola anymore.
00:40:45.000 But Coca-Cola has its recipe in a vault and they only put it on their thing and they sue people who use their logo wrong.
00:40:53.000 They didn't get these guys yet.
00:40:55.000 No.
00:40:57.000 And that's what a woman's chassis is.
00:40:59.000 So when you do a podcast about how you've had a queef at an unfortunate time, I don't know, you're going to have a little bit more trouble getting a man eventually.
00:41:10.000 And it's a form of prostitution, and any woman can do it.
00:41:14.000 So I'm not impressed.
00:41:15.000 But even that, this is basically two girls who wreck their OnlyFans account.
00:41:20.000 So jump into like 60% of the way in because she explains that she was normal and this Sophia chick, the other brunette, just couldn't negotiate.
00:41:32.000 Because she kept asking for more and more and more and more until it was a deal breaker.
00:41:36.000 Turn it up.
00:41:36.000 Trying to convince her why we should stay.
00:41:37.000 But this time it shifted because I made a point to let Sophia know that...
00:41:43.000 No longer for me, at the end of the call, I let her know no longer for me was there the option of leaving.
00:41:50.000 Barstool was the only deal now.
00:41:52.000 I was no longer entertaining the idea of leaving.
00:41:56.000 Oh, so she's saying Portnoy eventually, after tough negotiations, was so kind that she thought, this is our home.
00:42:02.000 He's given us everything we asked for.
00:42:04.000 And she's like, nope, I'm better.
00:42:07.000 Be better.
00:42:08.000 Turn it up.
00:42:09.000 I can't hear it.
00:42:11.000 Sophia began the call by telling me she felt I was bulldozing her into the barstool deal.
00:42:17.000 Wait, that's too loud now.
00:42:19.000 Sophia told me that she went into the rooftop meeting with Dave as more of a courtesy and to let Dave know that we were leaving and wanted to see if he would give us the IP to take with us.
00:42:33.000 So like she was like, give us the IP and then you don't get anything for it.
00:42:38.000 That reminds me, you know what?
00:42:40.000 Speaking of women, back in Vice days, we were trying to get Latigra.
00:42:43.000 Latigra is Kathleen Hannah of Bikini Kill, the riot girl.
00:42:48.000 So we're sitting down in negotiations, and they're very good for your brand, right?
00:42:53.000 You have tons of white male, straight white male bands, and then you have your lesbian.
00:42:58.000 It's affirmative action, really.
00:42:59.000 And people go, oh, they're not racist or sexist or homophobic.
00:43:02.000 They have a lesbian band.
00:43:04.000 So we're sitting there ready to take an affirmative action hit.
00:43:08.000 And guess what their deal was?
00:43:12.000 This was their offer, and they were not willing to budge.
00:43:14.000 Yes, Latigra can be put out on vice records, but we get what percent?
00:43:20.000 20%, 30% of sales?
00:43:23.000 100% of sales.
00:43:26.000 Wait, what?
00:43:28.000 And we own all the songs and we can do whatever we want with them.
00:43:32.000 What?
00:43:33.000 So their offer to us was, we can sell some of their music with our logo on it, as long as we give them all the money, and they can do whatever they want.
00:43:43.000 So we get zero in return for promoting them, printing them.
00:43:51.000 Women in the workforce are bad at their jobs.
00:43:59.000 And she couldn't believe that.
00:44:00.000 I can't believe that they would literally be one of the few, like amongst Howard, Sir, and Letterman, to have their own IP.
00:44:07.000 Yes.
00:44:08.000 That's major.
00:44:08.000 No, they were the most successful podcast.
00:44:10.000 They were the number one podcast in the world at one point.
00:44:12.000 No, they just don't exist.
00:44:14.000 And they could have been huge.
00:44:16.000 And you know what?
00:44:17.000 You get everything you ask for.
00:44:18.000 Just say yes.
00:44:19.000 Let's get going.
00:44:20.000 It's like my buddy Curtis that I own the restaurant with in the East Village.
00:44:23.000 We ran a taco truck for a while and we got offers.
00:44:27.000 I think it was like 80 grand.
00:44:29.000 And he's like, yeah, but I can make 80 grand in a year.
00:44:32.000 Yeah.
00:44:33.000 And I go, Curtis, that's gross, first of all, not ned.
00:44:36.000 And you're sitting in a fucking hot van for a year.
00:44:38.000 If you're so great at restaurants, let's just take this money and start a new one.
00:44:42.000 Right.
00:44:42.000 Just say yes.
00:44:45.000 Get moving.
00:44:46.000 He did eventually say yes, by the way.
00:44:48.000 Don't you think it's a good idea for them?
00:44:49.000 It's not too late because after all this controversy, it's like publicity.
00:44:52.000 They start it like in a month or two after the ball.
00:44:55.000 Yeah, but this bitch is ruined.
00:44:56.000 She's like, no, I'm Celine Dion.
00:45:00.000 By the way, Barstool Sports has a thing called Rough and Rowdy, where it's these awesome fights that are just a total and utter shit show.
00:45:09.000 It's almost not even the same sport as boxing because there's zero technique.
00:45:16.000 Yeah, and it's just like swinging.
00:45:18.000 Look at that.
00:45:20.000 Right hook, left hook, right hook.
00:45:23.000 But I have something, I wish I could get to Dave Portnoy.
00:45:26.000 Maybe I could through Tucker or something.
00:45:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:29.000 But I have something I really need to happen.
00:45:33.000 Bob Moneri needs to be hosting these fights and narrating them.
00:45:39.000 hey, world, can I send those out to the cosmos?
00:45:42.000 Can you make that happen?
00:45:44.000 I'm not looking to make a commission.
00:45:46.000 I'm not Sophia, what's her name from Call Her Daddy, who won't negotiate.
00:45:50.000 But look at Bob Moneri's Instagram.
00:45:54.000 We've talked about Bob Moneri before.
00:45:55.000 He's the guy who's like, gets in there and it's a fucking wipeout.
00:46:00.000 Not going to happen again.
00:46:01.000 What a good idea.
00:46:03.000 You don't see this every day.
00:46:04.000 The tall, skinny, lanky version of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park facing off against a man who thinks it's cool to get the devil tattooed to the front of his forehead.
00:46:14.000 And let's see, the fight begins.
00:46:15.000 Quick punches being exchanged and Jefferson.
00:46:18.000 Chest punch, I never noticed that before.
00:46:19.000 That could kill you.
00:46:22.000 Pop the sternum.
00:46:26.000 And then here comes my favorite part.
00:46:29.000 Let me stay right there.
00:46:32.000 Why'd you turn down the volume?
00:46:33.000 And now both men must go with their tails between their legs.
00:46:37.000 Anyway, wouldn't that be awesome if Bob Mineri, please, I'm not on social media, I'm banned.
00:46:42.000 But if you could get to Dave Portnoy and demand that Bob Minery hosts Rough and Rowdy, and Bob, when you're negotiating, please don't be a dick.
00:46:51.000 Just say yes to like, do five for free.
00:46:54.000 And then if you're valuable to the brand, oh my God, that looks so fun.
00:47:01.000 Then they won't want to let you go.
00:47:02.000 I might be five foot nine, but I will take you the fuck out, bro.
00:47:07.000 No, you won't.
00:47:08.000 Of course.
00:47:11.000 Of course.
00:47:12.000 Of course, Bill Burr is going to be.
00:47:14.000 Dude, the fucking guy punched him right in the face, dude.
00:47:17.000 It's brutal.
00:47:20.000 Everything's brutal.
00:47:21.000 Speaking of bashing women, John Kinsman's wife sent me this, 1-7.
00:47:28.000 There's a show, and this goes back to what we're saying about chastity, women in the workforce.
00:47:32.000 It's all in.
00:47:33.000 All in.
00:47:34.000 50 men will compete to impregnate a 41-year-old woman in a new reality series, Labor Love.
00:47:42.000 Do they all fuck her?
00:47:43.000 Or eventually one wins and then he gets to fuck her?
00:47:46.000 Or are they just pumping away like a gangbang?
00:47:49.000 What does it say?
00:47:53.000 So it's Sex in the City alum, Kristen Davis.
00:47:56.000 She was like the nice girl on the show.
00:47:58.000 But that show is a huge part of all these miserable women.
00:48:02.000 I wonder how many millions of lives Sex in the City has ruined by telling women they shouldn't settle down, they got to go to New York, make lots of money, spend it on shoes, be a fucking whore, fuck everything that moves, brag about it, and your eggs will last forever and you'll never become a spinster.
00:48:19.000 They brainwashed millions of women into thinking that and ruined their lives.
00:48:25.000 Ladies, New York City is an elephant's graveyard for ovaries.
00:48:30.000 You will not meet a man here.
00:48:32.000 Nobody does.
00:48:34.000 You will get used and abused.
00:48:36.000 You'll be a 40-year-old blocker like Amanda Marricott.
00:48:39.000 And you'll end up just a colostomy bag for other men's cum.
00:48:45.000 You are ancient if you're 32 in New York.
00:48:49.000 42?
00:48:50.000 Well, you might as well be on the Golden Girls.
00:48:55.000 But keep go back to that.
00:48:57.000 So we got to figure this out.
00:48:58.000 What do they do?
00:49:00.000 Host a show.
00:49:01.000 She explains the winning man and Christy will skip the dating, go straight to baby making.
00:49:06.000 Okay, so at least they don't all bang her.
00:49:08.000 So it's really just like married.
00:49:09.000 It's like the bachelor, really.
00:49:12.000 But here's the weird part.
00:49:14.000 You're 41, lady.
00:49:16.000 It's not happening.
00:49:19.000 Like, do you think it's that simple?
00:49:21.000 You just choose someone at 41?
00:49:23.000 So in a way, the sex in the city bitch is furthering the lie that your eggs last forever.
00:49:28.000 It's very difficult to have a baby.
00:49:31.000 I think Barbara Corcoran managed to get pregnant at that age.
00:49:36.000 It cost her $350,000 in fertility drugs.
00:49:38.000 And you know what fertility drugs do?
00:49:40.000 They give you quintuplets, your octomom.
00:49:44.000 And then that's why you see so many twins with these women, because six of the eight twins will die and come out as miscarriages.
00:49:51.000 Miscarriages are traumatizing.
00:49:54.000 It's a dead baby coming out of your body.
00:49:58.000 And I think Barbara had like seven miscarriages before she eventually made some kids.
00:50:05.000 40 to 44 and not happening.
00:50:12.000 Anyway, that's fucking radinx.
00:50:14.000 That's right at the peak of likelihood of infertility.
00:50:17.000 And it's funny, too, because this woman is less attractive because she's older and the whole push of the show seems to be attraction and fertility are not related.
00:50:28.000 They're inseparable.
00:50:30.000 Like when you see someone who's 700 pounds, one of the reasons you don't feel in your gut that you could fuck her is because it looks like she's going to die.
00:50:37.000 And subconsciously, when you look at a woman that you're attracted to, you think of breeding.
00:50:41.000 That's why you're not attracted to ugly women.
00:50:43.000 You don't want to make ugly kids.
00:50:44.000 That's why when you see a junkie, you're not attracted to her.
00:50:47.000 That's why you're not attracted to children.
00:50:48.000 That's why you're not attracted to old ladies.
00:50:51.000 And she's an old lady.
00:50:52.000 Sorry, 41 is old for no kids.
00:50:56.000 The labor is mandatory.
00:50:57.000 I'm not old.
00:50:58.000 I can have kids whenever.
00:51:00.000 In fact, 15 men will compete.
00:51:02.000 This is just as bad as sex in the city.
00:51:08.000 She has to choose between us, Gibronis.
00:51:11.000 She wants to see, are these men gonna be aware of?
00:51:12.000 How would they do this?
00:51:14.000 Welcome to labor pains.
00:51:16.000 Look at this.
00:51:17.000 It's just man-hating porn.
00:51:20.000 They just torture men.
00:51:22.000 Parenthood is such a huge.
00:51:25.000 What is this is feminism in 2020?
00:51:27.000 Torturing men.
00:51:30.000 I honestly can't imagine my life without you in it.
00:51:37.000 Here's what's 100% guaranteed what's going to happen.
00:51:39.000 So she'll get the guy.
00:51:40.000 They'll try to get pregnant.
00:51:41.000 They'll spend money on fertility drugs.
00:51:42.000 She won't get pregnant.
00:51:43.000 He leaves her.
00:51:45.000 I promise you.
00:51:46.000 I promise you.
00:51:47.000 That is happening.
00:51:49.000 Let's make a game and a joke out of the most sacred aspect of being a woman.
00:51:54.000 The contest.
00:51:57.000 All right.
00:51:58.000 We should get to the mailbag soon.
00:52:00.000 I just wanted to have a brief look at the New York Times.
00:52:02.000 This is 1.4.
00:52:04.000 So you know the woman where Joe Biden grabbed her pussy?
00:52:07.000 And it's funny, when Trump was talking about grabbing by the pussy, he said, They let you.
00:52:11.000 He's basically talking about groupies.
00:52:13.000 This woman, Joe Biden thought, was a groupie and quickly found out she wasn't when he grabbed her pussy and she went, uh.
00:52:20.000 And he went, oh, yeah, misread that.
00:52:24.000 Ever tell you about my leg hair?
00:52:27.000 I know a lot about roaches because kids touch my leg hairs.
00:52:30.000 You know the thing.
00:52:33.000 But so the New York Times sent her, and it's funny that I'm on Rose McGowan's side all of a sudden.
00:52:39.000 The New York Times sent her some questions.
00:52:43.000 And you think, what would you ask her?
00:52:44.000 What would I ask her?
00:52:45.000 I'd say, so you don't have any evidence, right?
00:52:47.000 That's too bad.
00:52:49.000 When exactly did this happen?
00:52:50.000 Who did you tell?
00:52:51.000 Maybe I can find someone you told and interview them.
00:52:54.000 And they'll say, yeah, I remember talking to her.
00:52:56.000 Can we do that?
00:52:58.000 So go back to her.
00:52:59.000 This is the questions the New York Times asks.
00:53:01.000 Ready?
00:53:02.000 Pull it up here.
00:53:04.000 You and your brother have both described your mother as an activist.
00:53:07.000 Can you tell us what sort of issues she advocated for?
00:53:09.000 We noticed in an old newspaper clip that she was involved in at least one fight over healthcare rights.
00:53:15.000 So now they're painting her as an activist.
00:53:17.000 Can you tell us about your time as a downhill skier and your training, contest one, et cetera?
00:53:24.000 Doubting, saying they're going to disprove that.
00:53:27.000 When did you move from Athens to California?
00:53:29.000 That's not interesting.
00:53:30.000 Any shows that you performed?
00:53:31.000 Do you remember what year it was?
00:53:33.000 Regarding your application to Juilliard, were you ultimately accepted and could not attend because of tuition?
00:53:40.000 Or did you withdraw from the process before it was completed?
00:53:43.000 Yeah.
00:53:43.000 Now all the questions, after some benign ones, get into how broke she is, implying, by the way, that she's being paid for all this.
00:53:51.000 And she's always been desperate for money.
00:53:53.000 Over the years, you've listed a number of reasons for leaving Washington.
00:53:56.000 Foreign policy differences over Russia, inability to get hired, going with Ted, your ex-boyfriend.
00:54:02.000 Why did you leave for North Dakota?
00:54:06.000 In your court records, your ex-husband Ted says that your mother hit you during a fight over her drinking back when you were living with her daughter during your pregnancy.
00:54:15.000 Was his description of that fight court papers accurate?
00:54:19.000 Of course, during, that's, if you want to find dirt on someone, go to their divorce, right?
00:54:22.000 They did that with Trump, too.
00:54:24.000 Keep going.
00:54:25.000 There's another, they get worse and worse.
00:54:29.000 Edward Walk, I'll just read the last ones.
00:54:31.000 Edward Walker was your boyfriend, right?
00:54:32.000 I remember you filed a complaint against him in April 2011 because he hit your daughter.
00:54:38.000 But then neighbors told me that you moved to blah, blah, blah, together and kept the radio show going.
00:54:46.000 So what happened there?
00:54:48.000 Anyway, I'm not doing a very good job of this.
00:54:49.000 You can look this up.
00:54:50.000 But it's just her constantly being interrogated about why she's a broke ass bitch and why she's a liar so they can frame this hit job because she's bad for Biden and anything that's bad for Biden is good for Trump and they hate Trump.
00:55:03.000 That's it.
00:55:04.000 That's all the logic going on here.
00:55:07.000 That's the way the New York Times operates and they're so fucking shitty at it.
00:55:11.000 That's what I was talking about last week with these shitty magicians.
00:55:14.000 Like check out this article in the Times I saw over the weekend.
00:55:18.000 It's one of the craziest subheads you'll ever read.
00:55:20.000 You ready for this?
00:55:22.000 This is 1.5.
00:55:26.000 If you care about the working poor, about racial justice, and about climate change, you have to stop eating animals.
00:55:36.000 The end of meat is here.
00:55:38.000 Jonathan Saffron 4, he wrote that book.
00:55:41.000 I forget, it was a really famous book.
00:55:44.000 So scroll down, you got to hear this logic.
00:55:46.000 The logic is that in these meat packing plants, right, they're all really closely stuck together and they have like, what is it, this pig farm does like 10%.
00:55:59.000 No, it's at the top.
00:56:01.000 10% of the pork comes from this one farm.
00:56:07.000 Yes, Smithfield Pork Plant, which produces 5% of the country's pork, right?
00:56:11.000 They had 73 cases of coronavirus and it spread really fast because they're all crushed together there.
00:56:16.000 And 1,000 reported cases, about 2,000 inch workers.
00:56:20.000 So sick workers mean plant shutdowns, which means the pigs have to be killed.
00:56:24.000 And that means that you don't have the plant anymore.
00:56:26.000 And that means the working poor lose their jobs.
00:56:29.000 Now, what's interesting about this is working poor aren't vegetarians.
00:56:35.000 It's incredibly rare.
00:56:36.000 It's a bourgeoisie thing.
00:56:38.000 So he's acknowledging that blue-collars eat meat.
00:56:42.000 He doesn't want that to change because they're below us, you see.
00:56:46.000 So their behavior can stay the same.
00:56:47.000 They're pets, just like blacks, just like when Biden was saying, you ain't black.
00:56:52.000 They see the working poor as basically cattle, basically pigs.
00:56:57.000 And if you care about pigs, you will shut these plants down and teach them to code.
00:57:05.000 Learn to code, pigs.
00:57:07.000 You're useless.
00:57:09.000 We have to alter our behavior because we are so much more valuable.
00:57:13.000 Canada does this with their environmental bullshit.
00:57:16.000 They manufacture something like 1.5% of the global carbon footprint.
00:57:21.000 But they have to change.
00:57:22.000 Not China, not Africa, not Russia.
00:57:25.000 They're garbage places.
00:57:27.000 But erudite places such as Canada, they have to change their behavior because their behavior means more because they're more valuable human beings.
00:57:35.000 Once again, the ones screaming Keep It Real the loudest are the ones the most full of shit.
00:57:46.000 Did you see that cool Memorial Day video?
00:57:47.000 Maybe we'll end with that.
00:57:48.000 All right, let's switch over to the fucking mailbag.
00:57:52.000 We had some shitty mailbags last week.
00:57:53.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:57:59.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:58:06.000 Yeah, I mean, I still get vanilla, and I know that being a beaten.
00:58:09.000 This guy is showing us a Michael Bearded English broad.
00:58:15.000 And he said, this is a few years old.
00:58:17.000 Yes, we discussed this, I believe, at Compound with the Gavin McKinna show when this came out.
00:58:23.000 And she's talking about how no one sees her as beautiful.
00:58:26.000 Yeah, because you look like a dude.
00:58:28.000 And beauty is based on Viability as a baby producer.
00:58:33.000 So when we see you, our brain goes, That's a dude.
00:58:35.000 I can't fuck dick.
00:58:38.000 She looks like that male pickup artist.
00:58:42.000 What do we got here?
00:58:43.000 Gavin, check out this picture of Mariah Carey in the 90s.
00:58:46.000 Doesn't this picture make you want to have 10,000 babies with her?
00:58:48.000 This look needs to never die.
00:58:50.000 What are some women's outfits that should still be around that may have died off in the last 10 years?
00:58:55.000 Thanks to fat, ugly feminist cunts.
00:58:58.000 Yep, that is one.
00:58:59.000 Hot mulatto.
00:59:00.000 Oh, hot mulatto are playing at Mercury Lounge.
00:59:03.000 Actually, there was a band called Tragic Mulatto back in the 80s.
00:59:06.000 You know what's a look?
00:59:08.000 What's it?
00:59:09.000 Valley Girl?
00:59:10.000 Yeah, there's a movie with Nicholas Cage called Valley Girl, and it's all 80s chicks.
00:59:14.000 And they're remaking it.
00:59:15.000 I have no idea why.
00:59:16.000 They're remaking it now as a flashback.
00:59:19.000 So it's someone in 2020 telling her daughter what it was like to be in the 80s.
00:59:23.000 And so it's all young girls wearing 80s clothes.
00:59:28.000 And that was the look.
00:59:29.000 Short socks, ankle socks, and high-heel shoes.
00:59:34.000 And he doesn't look punk.
00:59:37.000 Nicholas Cage was punk in Valley Girl.
00:59:40.000 Is that new wave or punk?
00:59:42.000 Kind of new wave.
00:59:43.000 Like, actors didn't want to dye their hair because they wanted to get another role.
00:59:48.000 So every punk in a movie has that spray, Halloween spray in their hair.
00:59:52.000 It looks so fucking stupid.
00:59:53.000 But look at the trailer for the new Valley Girl.
00:59:56.000 Because there's some fucking outfits in it that give me a schwing.
01:00:04.000 Yeah, I'm disagreeing with you, Caller.
01:00:06.000 I like the 80s more than the 90s.
01:00:10.000 The 90s was big baggy pants.
01:00:12.000 No, don't, don't, don't do any of that.
01:00:13.000 You just have no idea what I'm going through.
01:00:15.000 You'd be surprised when I'll tell you a story.
01:00:18.000 See the people walking down the street.
01:00:21.000 They don't know.
01:00:23.000 That's the shit right there.
01:00:26.000 You could be a fucking hippopotamus.
01:00:29.000 And I will get a boner if you're wearing that.
01:00:32.000 You could be so fat that the heels may snap and we can still negotiate.
01:00:37.000 As if.
01:00:38.000 I would rather fuck Rosie O'Donnell dressed in lingerie with those shoes than Jessica Alba in platform Tevas.
01:00:46.000 In Tom's.
01:00:47.000 That's how I remember it.
01:00:52.000 Cheerleaders was never a turn on.
01:00:53.000 I hate that Catholic schoolgirl thing.
01:00:56.000 Yeah.
01:00:56.000 Like, am I a pedophile now?
01:00:58.000 I'm not interested in cheerleaders.
01:01:02.000 Gag me with a spoon.
01:01:06.000 Oh, that was a hell of a jump, dude.
01:01:10.000 Your little boots.
01:01:11.000 All right, that's enough.
01:01:15.000 G-Dog, you claim to not be afraid of the Ching Chong Ling Long virus and have been consistently mocking people who are acting irrationally.
01:01:20.000 However, it has now been 65 days since the last episode of Gary's Mailbag.
01:01:25.000 Yeah, good point.
01:01:26.000 I can't fucking find him.
01:01:27.000 Yeah, me neither.
01:01:29.000 Same with Larry Barnes.
01:01:31.000 He's AWOL.
01:01:33.000 And I did call him, and he wasn't interested.
01:01:36.000 He's got an afro this big and a beard this big and he looks like shit and he didn't want to come do the show.
01:01:42.000 But I sent a barber to his house.
01:01:45.000 So Larry Barnes may be coming back.
01:01:47.000 But I'm not scared of Gare.
01:01:49.000 Next time I see him, I'm going to grab him and throw him into the studio.
01:01:54.000 Why don't you be a hypocrite?
01:01:55.000 Blah, blah, blah.
01:01:56.000 You suck, you suck.
01:01:59.000 Babes who aren't models submission.
01:02:01.000 Yeah.
01:02:02.000 This is from Taylor.
01:02:03.000 Just got back from Boundary Waters in Minnesota with my buddies.
01:02:05.000 And after we all split 100 beers and two liters of whiskey, we had an idea for your next t-shirt bumper sticker.
01:02:10.000 Women, not the best at much.
01:02:12.000 I'm not the best at much.
01:02:18.000 Yeah.
01:02:18.000 Well, Milo and I did that for a whole lunch.
01:02:21.000 It took us like an hour and a half to think of something women do better than men besides the obvious making babies, shaping lives, that magic trick that God gave them.
01:02:29.000 And we came up with real estate agents showing a home.
01:02:34.000 But I said chef, but he said no.
01:02:38.000 And maybe I was wrong with that.
01:02:40.000 But what are real estate agents doing?
01:02:42.000 They're showing you their nest.
01:02:44.000 It's not their nest, but someone else's nest.
01:02:46.000 But that's what a woman does, right?
01:02:48.000 Hey, let me show you around.
01:02:49.000 This is the master bedroom.
01:02:50.000 So the things that they're best at are the things they do at home.
01:02:54.000 Most women I know who have jobs, it's always some menial task like keeping appointments.
01:02:59.000 And that's what my wife does.
01:03:01.000 My daughter has dance at this time.
01:03:03.000 She has guitar at this time.
01:03:04.000 Did you do your Zoom guitar?
01:03:06.000 Did you practice your guitar?
01:03:07.000 That's what they do.
01:03:08.000 You have a meeting at four, Mr. Peterson.
01:03:11.000 And they always run the company's social media.
01:03:15.000 I run my company's Facebook page, which we really need.
01:03:19.000 That's so crucial.
01:03:21.000 Essential workers alert.
01:03:24.000 I lost my heart to this sloppy Aussie bitch.
01:03:26.000 Welcome back to my YouTube channel.
01:03:29.000 Can you be on you?
01:03:30.000 Welcome back to my YouTube channel.
01:03:34.000 Can you be on you?
01:03:35.000 Way too much makeup, dude.
01:03:37.000 Normally this trunk.
01:03:38.000 And if you're old, hi.
01:03:40.000 She looks like a tranny.
01:03:42.000 Yeah, I can't see her face.
01:03:43.000 I have no idea what she looks like.
01:03:46.000 Did you see Chloe Kardashian?
01:03:48.000 Just got a new face.
01:03:50.000 They built a face for her.
01:03:52.000 Is that the ugly one?
01:03:53.000 Yeah, she's the one that's illegitimate.
01:03:56.000 That's why she doesn't look like any of the others.
01:03:58.000 This one?
01:03:59.000 Yeah.
01:03:59.000 She got...
01:04:03.000 She's just launched her new face.
01:04:07.000 No, that's not it.
01:04:08.000 She has a new nose.
01:04:10.000 That's it.
01:04:10.000 Oh, what the fuck?
01:04:12.000 I just made a face.
01:04:13.000 What the hell?
01:04:14.000 You know, I want to do a whole podcast on this.
01:04:16.000 I remember there was a story where this Chinese guy was suing his wife because she didn't tell him that she's ugly.
01:04:23.000 And he didn't realize it until the kid came out, that she'd had plastic surgery.
01:04:30.000 And everyone laughed.
01:04:31.000 Ha ha, he's suing her because she's ugly.
01:04:33.000 I did too.
01:04:34.000 But then you pause and you go, that's kind of the contract with marriage.
01:04:40.000 Like, what if you had something like chronic diabetes and it had been in your family forever and all your relatives died of type A diabetes, whatever it's called, and you didn't tell someone that, and then you had a kid and the kid is born with brutal diabetes.
01:04:53.000 Isn't that a crime?
01:04:56.000 It's definitely unethical.
01:04:58.000 So he's going to, someone's going to marry her and then they're going to get.
01:05:01.000 If you look up Chloe Kardashian in the 90s, she was like a five.
01:05:05.000 So you marry an eight, you get a five, then you have ugly kids.
01:05:08.000 Not that you know you want to have sexy kids or anything, but you know what I mean?
01:05:12.000 Like attraction is based on fertility and what the kids will look like.
01:05:16.000 That's what she looks like.
01:05:17.000 She's a perfectly reasonable five.
01:05:19.000 But you made this bizarre eight.
01:05:21.000 And I was talking to someone about this the other day, he told me he thinks Ted Cruz is gay.
01:05:26.000 And I go, what did you base it on?
01:05:28.000 And he goes, I just looked at him.
01:05:29.000 I was on a plane and he was on the plane.
01:05:31.000 I saw the way the face his wife made when he kissed her.
01:05:35.000 And I could see the way I shook his hand.
01:05:37.000 And I could just tell.
01:05:38.000 And I go, that's shitty evidence.
01:05:40.000 And he goes, no, it's not.
01:05:42.000 He says, I've been around for 200,000 years.
01:05:45.000 We've been developing these skills over time.
01:05:49.000 We're dogs.
01:05:51.000 And the ones who can't tell that this guy's trouble and he might attack me, those guys are extinct.
01:05:57.000 So my instincts, sussing someone out, I got a bad feeling about this guy.
01:06:03.000 Yeah.
01:06:04.000 Like Kalin, George and Kalen, bad feeling about those dudes.
01:06:08.000 Alex Jones said, do this movie with them.
01:06:11.000 Got totally fucked over.
01:06:13.000 Bad news.
01:06:13.000 I should have trusted my gut.
01:06:15.000 Your gut is not just a silly made-up thing.
01:06:18.000 It's same with women that want to fuck you.
01:06:22.000 You just look at these women, and maybe that's why I'm not attracted to like bucks and blondes, because my whole life, I've been sniffing them, and they're just like, I wouldn't fuck you in a million years.
01:06:32.000 You look like a rat.
01:06:35.000 And then brunettes, Jews, ethnically ambiguous women, blacks, they tend to be more attracted to me.
01:06:42.000 So I altered my tastes.
01:06:44.000 I think.
01:06:45.000 That's just a theory.
01:06:45.000 Alter my taste to follow the sniff.
01:06:50.000 To adapt.
01:06:51.000 To adapt.
01:06:52.000 So those instincts that help you find a mate and make sure you don't get stabbed tell you, you know, remember Anthony Coomia talked about this girl who she had a bad feeling about this group of black guys that were near her late at night, but she didn't want to seem racist, so she didn't cross the street and they ended up raping her.
01:07:09.000 Of course.
01:07:11.000 You got to trust your gut.
01:07:13.000 So anyway, the tangent is better than the actual story.
01:07:17.000 So he sensed Ted Cruz was gay and he said, my evidence is my sense and I'm backing that up as a valid source.
01:07:25.000 And he convinced me.
01:07:26.000 Now, you also see this with eyes.
01:07:29.000 It's not just smell.
01:07:30.000 It's eyes, it's demeanor.
01:07:31.000 But when people have plastic surgery, they throw a wrench in the works.
01:07:36.000 And now you're like, what?
01:07:37.000 I don't, I can't read you.
01:07:40.000 Like Botox.
01:07:41.000 Here's a really dumb example.
01:07:42.000 Really simple, I should say.
01:07:44.000 Someone has Botox, right?
01:07:45.000 I'm telling jokes, I'm riffing, and I notice they're like, ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:07:50.000 I go, all right, that person doesn't think I'm funny.
01:07:52.000 I'm not talking to them anymore.
01:07:54.000 They don't like me.
01:07:54.000 I'm wasting my time.
01:07:56.000 Wasting both of our times.
01:07:57.000 But no, the guy was having a great time.
01:07:59.000 He just threw his fucking facial shit off with his stupid gay Botox.
01:08:04.000 You know, people who, there's this disease you get where you lose these muscles completely and you're perfectly normal, but you can't smile.
01:08:10.000 So when you laugh, you go, very funny.
01:08:16.000 They get beat up because people think they're being sarcastic.
01:08:20.000 Bells Paul.
01:08:21.000 They have to like go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:08:26.000 I love how this article here or this video says, Chloe Kardashian's epic hair transformation.
01:08:32.000 What?
01:08:32.000 Yeah.
01:08:33.000 Yeah.
01:08:34.000 Her hair.
01:08:35.000 You mean nose hair?
01:08:36.000 Epic hair transformation.
01:08:38.000 Look at that.
01:08:39.000 A surgeon just made a mask.
01:08:40.000 That's gross.
01:08:41.000 How is that not Halloween?
01:08:43.000 You have a mask on your face.
01:08:44.000 That's not your face.
01:08:46.000 If it's not your face, then it's a mask.
01:08:50.000 This is a remake of the movie Face Off with Nicholas Cage.
01:08:53.000 Like, do you like me?
01:08:54.000 Are you mad at me?
01:08:55.000 Are you here to stab me?
01:08:56.000 I don't know.
01:08:57.000 I can't read your face.
01:08:59.000 Is your face just resting sarcasm?
01:09:03.000 What's happening?
01:09:05.000 Hey, Gavin.
01:09:06.000 Tried to get a hold of Ryan, but I think he blocked my number.
01:09:08.000 I left my sunglasses and lotion at his place the other day.
01:09:10.000 I assume he's talking about the fag zone.
01:09:12.000 I was wondering if you could pass this message on.
01:09:14.000 My name is Lance, but if he doesn't remember, just say I'm Big Red.
01:09:17.000 He should understand.
01:09:18.000 It's a fag joke.
01:09:20.000 So we got a letter from a gay lover of Ryan's.
01:09:23.000 It's fake.
01:09:24.000 Mikey!
01:09:26.000 Just give him his lotion back, dude.
01:09:28.000 How much of the sunglasses?
01:09:29.000 I don't have sunglasses.
01:09:31.000 There's no lotion.
01:09:32.000 You're stealing sunglasses?
01:09:33.000 That's prostitution, by the way.
01:09:34.000 If you had sex with a man in your apartment and then you don't give him his sunglasses back, you're taking a payment for sex.
01:09:41.000 So you're a sword.
01:09:42.000 God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get my hands around your throat.
01:09:47.000 You should have played the eat your ass one.
01:09:49.000 I will eat your ass.
01:09:51.000 No, I'm not going to eat Lance's ass.
01:09:53.000 This is from Molly.
01:09:54.000 Gavin, when do you go live?
01:09:56.000 I'd like to call in sometime.
01:09:57.000 I go live Thursday nights at 10 p.m.
01:10:00.000 10 p.m.
01:10:03.000 Texas surf dam story in Michigan.
01:10:05.000 Plot thickens.
01:10:06.000 Big league politics.
01:10:07.000 Gretchen Whitmer's regime sued to keep water levels high in months leading up to Michigan dam break.
01:10:12.000 What's this?
01:10:13.000 Oh yeah, that's sketchy, isn't it?
01:10:17.000 Just like we were talking last week where that gym said we're going to stay open and they got fines and people are threatened with six months in prison for going to a gym.
01:10:25.000 And then they said, no, we're going to stay open.
01:10:27.000 Seconds later, the toilets exploded, started shooting sewage up.
01:10:32.000 Governor Christie did this with a bridge.
01:10:34.000 He had construction go on a bridge to cause a traffic jam because he didn't like the people in that area.
01:10:40.000 So I think it's totally plausible.
01:10:41.000 This is a conspiracy theory.
01:10:42.000 You're hearing a theory about someone conspiring.
01:10:45.000 But people start fighting Gretchen Wilson saying They say we're going to stay open.
01:10:55.000 All of a sudden, the state floods.
01:10:59.000 And again, I'll reiterate my other conspiracy theory, which is maybe the virus was released to stop the Hong Kong protests because China was embarrassed.
01:11:13.000 It looks cool.
01:11:14.000 Yeah, it does.
01:11:15.000 Why is that so satisfying to watch?
01:11:17.000 I'm going to watch that next time I can't sleep.
01:11:19.000 Destruction.
01:11:20.000 Mudslides.
01:11:23.000 Okay, last one.
01:11:24.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I made this in my daughter's video game.
01:11:27.000 Thought you might enjoy it.
01:11:29.000 Okay, That's nice.
01:11:30.000 Thank you for your little drawing.
01:11:32.000 By the way, we're selling our drawings to raise money for justiceforliberty.com.
01:11:44.000 I sent you that email extra.
01:11:45.000 It's not in the notes, I don't think.
01:11:48.000 Bam.
01:11:50.000 Oh, good.
01:11:51.000 All that money goes straight to those three black kids who were abandoned, who had their father ripped away from them in order to fight racism.
01:12:01.000 Yes, folks, you heard it here first.
01:12:04.000 Clown world.
01:12:07.000 Oh, zero.
01:12:08.000 That sucks.
01:12:10.000 This is brand new, though?
01:12:12.000 Yeah, I just put this up, and we haven't announced it yet.
01:12:14.000 But how do people get to the URL?
01:12:17.000 You go to charityauctionstoday.com or you just go right to our homepage.
01:12:22.000 We'll put it on the homepage.
01:12:23.000 We'll put it on censored.tv.
01:12:24.000 So it'll be auction slash Gavin S Doodles for Justice.
01:12:28.000 I'm going to put some more up tomorrow.
01:12:31.000 Okay, let's end with a fun Memorial Day video.
01:12:35.000 This is a book.
01:12:41.000 This is 1-1.
01:12:42.000 Oh.
01:12:44.000 1-1.
01:12:45.000 Okay.
01:12:47.000 This is what you should have been doing all day today.
01:12:52.000 Okay.
01:12:52.000 It's coming up.
01:12:54.000 American, well, at least I know I'm free.
01:12:59.000 Look at that.
01:13:00.000 Forget the man who died, who gave that right to me.
01:13:05.000 And I gladly stand up next to you.
01:13:10.000 Beautiful.
01:13:11.000 Get fired.
01:13:12.000 Get in trouble.
01:13:13.000 Be brave.