Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 27, 2020


S02E169 - WHISKEY WITH MCAFEE [2020-05-27 - S02E169 - WHISKEY WITH MCAFEE]


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per Minute

128.15909

Word Count

8,969

Sentence Count

831

Misogynist Sentences

15

Hate Speech Sentences

31


Summary

On this week's episode of Get Off My Lawn, Devin sits down with John McAfee, the man behind McAfee Software, a software company that makes anti-virus software, to talk about his life growing up in the streets of Belize, his time in prison, and why he doesn't want to be in the military.


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McGinnis.
00:00:27.000 Hello, kiddies.
00:00:29.000 Extra special episode of Get Off My Lawn.
00:00:33.000 This Thursday, we have John McAfee on the line on Skype.
00:00:38.000 He's off the grid using the internet.
00:00:41.000 I wonder how he does that.
00:00:44.000 He just got out of jail, Dominican Republic.
00:00:47.000 But are you familiar with him?
00:00:50.000 He's the guy behind McAfee, I'm not sure how to pronounce it, McAfee software, antivirus software, made $100 million doing that, sold it.
00:00:59.000 And ever since then, he's become the most interesting man in the world.
00:01:03.000 The biggest controversy was when he was living in Belize, he had a neighbor that hated his guts.
00:01:09.000 John had an army around him of all times, of felons, armed felons followed him everywhere, a harem of sluts, boats, galore, party time, party time.
00:01:20.000 And his neighbor hated him.
00:01:22.000 His neighbor poisoned his dogs.
00:01:23.000 His neighbor mysteriously dies.
00:01:25.000 What happened?
00:01:27.000 They burned down his lab.
00:01:28.000 The government says that he had a lab in Belize in the jungle where he was making meth.
00:01:33.000 Everyone believes it.
00:01:34.000 Sounds very simple, though.
00:01:37.000 And, you know, 10 years ago, you'd say something and I'd just say, Occam's razor, right?
00:01:44.000 Whatever's most likely true, true.
00:01:46.000 You hate your neighbor, then he dies.
00:01:48.000 You probably killed him.
00:01:49.000 And for the most part, that is true.
00:01:51.000 But now, in Clown World, I don't take anything for granted.
00:01:56.000 He also had a lab technician, Allison Adonicio.
00:02:01.000 She claims that he raped her, drugged her, raped her.
00:02:06.000 He claims he hasn't paid tax since, I think, 2010.
00:02:09.000 I mean, the guy's Wikipedia alone.
00:02:13.000 It reads like a crime thriller.
00:02:15.000 I think they're doing a movie on his life.
00:02:17.000 Johnny Depp was supposed to play McAfee, but I think he's out now, and it's Michael Keaton is playing him, and he's going to be showing a Wired reporter around.
00:02:27.000 Wired.
00:02:28.000 And I think it's Zach Efron is playing the reporter.
00:02:33.000 So the guy is fucking interesting.
00:02:35.000 He got a prostitute about, I don't know, five years ago, 10 years ago, and said, I love you.
00:02:41.000 Let's get married.
00:02:42.000 And so they did.
00:02:42.000 Now that's his wife.
00:02:44.000 She was in jail in Dominican Republic with him.
00:02:46.000 It was only like four days or something.
00:02:48.000 But the guy wakes up, does a bunch of shots of tequila, and then he does interviews.
00:02:56.000 So without further ado, I said it right that time.
00:03:04.000 Let's talk to him.
00:03:06.000 Let's talk to him.
00:03:12.000 John McCaffey.
00:03:18.000 We can't hear you.
00:03:19.000 Can you see me?
00:03:23.000 Shit, I can't hear you.
00:03:26.000 It's okay.
00:03:27.000 Oh, there we go.
00:03:30.000 I'm just fucking with you.
00:03:31.000 My apologies.
00:03:35.000 Listen, I mean, if you have not watched any of my other podcasts, well, then you deserve to have 30 seconds of humor played upon you.
00:03:46.000 I saw you on Anthony Coomia's show.
00:03:49.000 I don't remember that particular trick.
00:03:51.000 You know what?
00:03:53.000 People don't push the record button at the right location.
00:03:56.000 Like, you have not pushed the record button yet.
00:03:59.000 You're missing out on the best stuff.
00:04:03.000 Had you push record, Ryan?
00:04:05.000 Dude, what is your tattoo?
00:04:07.000 Oh, I got an American Eagle holding my rifle, my Huntington rifle, and then a bunch of other crap.
00:04:17.000 Were you in the service?
00:04:18.000 No.
00:04:19.000 No, I'm not brave enough to be in the service.
00:04:22.000 Nor I. I was never in the service either.
00:04:26.000 Funny, people always ask that.
00:04:27.000 They go, if you love America so much, why don't you fight for it?
00:04:30.000 And I go, because I'm not brave enough.
00:04:33.000 Well, for me, it wasn't that.
00:04:36.000 I was doing things, other things in America.
00:04:40.000 The only war that there was that I lived through were you had the, I don't even remember what it's called.
00:04:48.000 I mean, the lottery guy.
00:04:50.000 If you get called, you go to war.
00:04:53.000 But I was pursuing a graduate program in mathematics, and at the time, they deemed that, for whatever goddamn reason, more important than putting a uniform on me and a gun in my hand.
00:05:08.000 Now, let me tell you, if they had fucking known how good I was with a gun, they would have said, fuck school, send that guy to the front black market.
00:05:22.000 This is Vietnam we're talking about?
00:05:24.000 Yes, Vietnam.
00:05:25.000 Fuck me.
00:05:27.000 Hang on a second.
00:05:29.000 1967, 68, and 69 is when I kept showing up for, remember they would send out things, come in for your physical, right?
00:05:40.000 I always pass the physical, but someone always said, so you're studying math.
00:05:45.000 Okay.
00:05:46.000 And that was it.
00:05:47.000 Imagine how scary that would be to get that card and you're going in there and they go, no, that's your number.
00:05:53.000 You're on the plane.
00:05:55.000 You know what?
00:05:57.000 It didn't really matter to me very much.
00:06:02.000 People think that their lives are under their own control.
00:06:05.000 They're not.
00:06:06.000 They never have been, never will be.
00:06:09.000 You're just one of 7.8 billion human beings on this planet.
00:06:14.000 How important could you possibly fucking be?
00:06:17.000 Well, clearly not to the American government, right?
00:06:19.000 They let 60,000 men die in that stupid war.
00:06:22.000 No one even knows what it was for.
00:06:25.000 Yeah, well, that's true.
00:06:28.000 But it did cause a great deal of media attention.
00:06:34.000 Is it not media, which is what is mainstream?
00:06:39.000 Media, it is the modern terminology for propaganda.
00:06:43.000 Please, if you can't see that, please should move quickly back into your mother's basement.
00:06:51.000 And don't you think the past couple years it's gotten even worse?
00:06:55.000 Like, even today, I was reading about certain words that insult the Chinese government are removed from YouTube.
00:07:04.000 Well, I mean, that's a corporate edict decided by something of that level.
00:07:11.000 Fuck me, probably the board of directors.
00:07:13.000 Yeah.
00:07:14.000 I mean, that's the prerogative of corporations.
00:07:17.000 And that doesn't concern me that much.
00:07:19.000 Did you have tequila for breakfast today?
00:07:22.000 Did I have tequila?
00:07:23.000 Tequila?
00:07:26.000 Is it a day?
00:07:28.000 I mean, if it's a day, I had tequila for breakfast.
00:07:32.000 Anybody who fucking knows me knows between six and ten shots of tequila for breakfast.
00:07:41.000 Who doesn't do that?
00:07:43.000 I don't fucking know.
00:07:44.000 I mean, if you don't do that, that's your problem, not mine.
00:07:48.000 I drink a lot of bourbon, but I need an upper to stop the nap.
00:07:52.000 So I take Adderall and Maker's Mark.
00:07:58.000 You are a serious drug.
00:08:01.000 No, drug.
00:08:02.000 Fuck drug.
00:08:03.000 You're a serious psychonaut, my friend.
00:08:05.000 Only you're in a psychonaut alley, which is well traveled and not very deep, right?
00:08:14.000 The upper downer alley.
00:08:17.000 Yeah, that's great.
00:08:18.000 The problem I have with it is bedwetting and wedding furniture, passing out and then wedding the bed.
00:08:23.000 Because the Adderall lets you drink so much that when it shuts off, you're in way over your head.
00:08:30.000 Well, for me, it doesn't manifest like for me, and I just fall over my fucking face.
00:08:34.000 I'm doing something and fall over my fucking face.
00:08:37.000 You're lucky, Mofo, and that's why you keep doing it.
00:08:40.000 No, no, no.
00:08:41.000 I've had that too.
00:08:42.000 Look, I got a scar on my nose from pushing my glasses into my face when I fell down.
00:08:47.000 You must believe me, my friend.
00:08:47.000 Okay.
00:08:49.000 You're talking about an alley, which I know, like the back of my hand, I could walk down that alley and back blindfolded.
00:08:58.000 There are better alleys to pursue.
00:09:01.000 For example, you obviously like uppers and downers together.
00:09:07.000 Have you ever tried methylene dioxypyrovalarine?
00:09:14.000 You know, it's more commonly on the street called MDPV.
00:09:19.000 No, I'm not familiar with that drug.
00:09:23.000 And we're talking drugs.
00:09:24.000 I mean, I'm sorry.
00:09:25.000 I'm not an expert.
00:09:26.000 I mean, I've done a lot, but I'm not Hunter Thompson.
00:09:30.000 Thank God you're not claiming expert status because seriously, I mean, any Mofo out there listening to this that has not taken MDPV or alpha PBP or alpha PHP, the most powerful operators ever goddamn created and invented by the Chinese in the mid to late 90s in a brand of or classification of drugs called cathinones.
00:09:58.000 Good God, they make amphetamine look like baby aspirin.
00:10:03.000 That sounds like it's dangerous for your heart.
00:10:05.000 That sounds like a heart attack.
00:10:09.000 Are we talking drugs or talking danger?
00:10:12.000 We can talk either one you want.
00:10:13.000 I'm easy.
00:10:14.000 I think we found the Venn diagram of drugs and danger, though.
00:10:18.000 Talk danger for about two minutes and we'll finish.
00:10:20.000 That's a goddamn subject.
00:10:22.000 Danger.
00:10:23.000 You want no danger?
00:10:24.000 Don't drink.
00:10:25.000 Don't smoke.
00:10:27.000 Don't ever take a drug.
00:10:28.000 Don't leave the fucking house.
00:10:30.000 If you can get your mom to pay for your existence while you live in a tiny closet in her basement, then do that.
00:10:41.000 That's no way to live.
00:10:42.000 Where are you now?
00:10:43.000 Are you still in?
00:10:44.000 Where were you, Tennessee before?
00:10:48.000 You haven't been keeping up with me.
00:10:49.000 No, no, since Janice and I got out of jail in the Dominican Republic last July, 10 months ago, we've gone underground.
00:10:59.000 We have no other choice.
00:11:01.000 And if you know the story, what else could we fucking do?
00:11:04.000 Hey, I have a crazy theory about Greg Fall.
00:11:07.000 You ready for this?
00:11:09.000 Now, you're a real trophy to get as a hack.
00:11:13.000 So what if a hacker set up a hit, had Greg Fall killed to make you look bad, and then that hacker can say, not only did I hack him, but I framed him in a murder?
00:11:28.000 Well, that's certainly not outside the bounds of possibility.
00:11:34.000 But no, sir, I do not believe that happened.
00:11:36.000 I know exactly what happened.
00:11:39.000 Well, the Belizean government killed Greg Fall.
00:11:43.000 Okay.
00:11:44.000 So here's the sequence of events.
00:11:47.000 The Belizean government raids my Orangewalk estate, destroys a half million dollars worth of damage, shoots my dog, submits me to serious discomfort, destroys a laboratory that I had been working on for antibiotics based on the science of quorum sensing.
00:12:09.000 And we actually had a goddamn product.
00:12:11.000 They destroyed all of that.
00:12:13.000 So it was like an organic antibiotic made with natural plants and stuff.
00:12:17.000 Yes, actually, sure, it's made by plants along the Jungle River called the New River in Belize, one of the longest navigable jungle rivers in the world.
00:12:30.000 And yes, we found a number of things of plants.
00:12:35.000 Here's the thing.
00:12:36.000 So I'm reasoning this.
00:12:38.000 Animals get sick from viruses, from bacteria.
00:12:43.000 If a sick cow is clearly sick, the other cows just walk away.
00:12:48.000 What about a plant?
00:12:50.000 Plants also are susceptible to both viruses and bacteria, but they can't uproot themselves and walk 100 meters away and replant themselves.
00:13:02.000 No.
00:13:03.000 They've got to survive in an environment where the bacteria can't be avoided under any circumstance.
00:13:12.000 Just like airborne viruses.
00:13:16.000 We live in a soup of airborne viruses, people, flu, you name it.
00:13:21.000 Thank God, nothing major like polio or HIV, which can only, like HIV, only be transmitted through very extremely intimate contact.
00:13:33.000 And polio through contaminated water, for fuck's sake.
00:13:38.000 No, but it's airborne viruses like the flu, colds, COVID-19.
00:13:38.000 So no.
00:13:47.000 We swim in them.
00:13:48.000 We all get them.
00:13:49.000 We can't possibly fucking avoid them.
00:13:54.000 So you harnessed this survival instinct from the plants and made it into a pill that humans could take.
00:14:02.000 Yes, it is based on a thing called quorum sensing.
00:14:04.000 And we discovered just 12 years ago that bacteria communicate with each other.
00:14:10.000 I mean, for example, caphylococcus.
00:14:13.000 Let's say it's a flesh-eating staph infection.
00:14:18.000 When that bacteria gets on your skin or in your bloodstream, does it start eating you right?
00:14:26.000 No, fuck that.
00:14:27.000 It's quiet, silent, completely non-pathogenic benign.
00:14:35.000 Why is that?
00:14:37.000 Because it is smart enough to know that if one bacteria gets on you and starts eating you, your immune system is going to come, what?
00:14:47.000 That stupid motherfucker killing.
00:14:50.000 And be done with it.
00:14:52.000 But if they wait for days, weeks, sometimes months, a thing called a biomass is reached.
00:15:01.000 Meaning that the individual bacterias somehow know through a thing called quorum sensing that there's five billion trillion of us now.
00:15:14.000 And so let's start eating this motherfucker.
00:15:18.000 Let's flick the switch.
00:15:19.000 We're ready.
00:15:20.000 Let's throw the switch now.
00:15:22.000 Well, cancer's like that too, right?
00:15:25.000 The only way you can get it is early detection, and then it reaches metastasization, and you're dead.
00:15:31.000 You're dead.
00:15:32.000 But no, how did plants do it?
00:15:35.000 They didn't create things that killed bacteria.
00:15:38.000 I mean, that's crude.
00:15:39.000 That's what we were doing with antibiotics.
00:15:41.000 No.
00:15:42.000 Plants figured out that these bacteria communicate and do not turn pathogenic until a biomass is reached.
00:15:53.000 So a few plants, oddly enough, the most, the plants hardest, most difficult to survive, like these small carnivorous plants.
00:16:05.000 Why are they carnivorous?
00:16:07.000 God damn it, the soil has got nothing in it.
00:16:09.000 Nothing.
00:16:11.000 You think jungles have rich soil?
00:16:13.000 Please research it.
00:16:15.000 There's no nutrients, there's no nitrogen.
00:16:17.000 Fuck me, you've got to root 30 feet deep in order to get anything.
00:16:23.000 Is that the lack of sunlight because of all the leaf coverage?
00:16:23.000 Why is that?
00:16:27.000 You know, I'm not sure.
00:16:28.000 I haven't dug into it to that level, but I promise you, if you Google it now, what is most, well, the least fertile soil on the planet, the soil of rainforests industry.
00:16:44.000 I don't know why.
00:16:45.000 I mean, the goddamn trees are stealing 99% of it.
00:16:45.000 Think about it.
00:16:49.000 And they have a canopy, a solid fucking green canopy through which nothing penetrates.
00:16:57.000 No direct sunlight ever reaches jungle floors.
00:17:01.000 Fuck me, you know.
00:17:03.000 So plants resorted to eating animals, insects, frogs, anything they could digest.
00:17:12.000 In order to get nutrients that simply were not the soul.
00:17:15.000 These plants had magic fucking capacities in the form of compounds that made bacteria deaf.
00:17:31.000 Meaning that the bacteria could not sense a quam.
00:17:37.000 So I bet the government said he's probably making meth in that lab.
00:17:42.000 He's not making antibiotics.
00:17:44.000 And then they didn't even mind that.
00:17:46.000 They just said, pay me your meth fee.
00:17:49.000 Basically, yeah.
00:17:50.000 But come on.
00:17:52.000 Can we get real for a second?
00:17:53.000 I mean, I'm in Central America.
00:17:55.000 I'm in the heart of Sinaloa cartel territory.
00:18:02.000 Now, the Sinaloa cartel rules, owns, controls the drug trade, whether it's opium, methamphetamines, marijuana, or cocaine.
00:18:13.000 What do you think the life expectancy would be of a fucking gringo moves to Carmelita and starts a goddamn meth lab?
00:18:25.000 Well, please, people, use your goddamn sense.
00:18:29.000 The life expectancy of that dude would be measured in hours.
00:18:33.000 It'd be like this.
00:18:35.000 Hefe, he, it's incredible el gringo as my boss.
00:18:44.000 Listen, boss, the gringo is making jokes.
00:18:48.000 Well, they would say, well, don't kill him.
00:18:51.000 Chop off his arms and legs.
00:18:52.000 Make sure he's still alive when you get him to me because I need answers.
00:18:56.000 No, please, God, let's wake up, people.
00:18:59.000 So could not have been that.
00:19:02.000 Yeah.
00:19:03.000 Yet, the mainstream media, as stupid as the mainstream media is, actually believe the government story.
00:19:15.000 Oh, John Macfree is manufacturing methamphetamines in Carmelita, the middle of the goddamn jungle, where there's no police, with a shore of thousands of cartel people.
00:19:27.000 He's manufacturing methamphetamines.
00:19:29.000 Please, God, is John Macfree still alive?
00:19:32.000 If he is, he was not manufacturing methamphetamines.
00:19:38.000 So, why did the government destroy the lab?
00:19:43.000 Fuck me.
00:19:46.000 All right, we got time.
00:19:48.000 Okay, so now I'd moved to the jungle for one reason.
00:19:53.000 I'd been living in San Pedro for three years.
00:19:58.000 San Pedro is the American enclave of Belize, San Pedro Island.
00:20:06.000 Captain, Captain, I'm sorry.
00:20:10.000 Yeah, one please.
00:20:11.000 I'm sorry.
00:20:12.000 Captain Morgan and most of the pirates called San Pedro La Pena del Carib, the pearl of the Caribbean, the most beautiful fucking island you can ever imagine.
00:20:31.000 I traveled my first time there in 1973, been back many times and finally purchased a large estate on that island.
00:20:40.000 Why?
00:20:41.000 And a more beautiful spot on the farm.
00:20:43.000 Oh, I've seen it.
00:20:44.000 It's breathtaking.
00:20:45.000 The reef that goes out there, it's just stunning.
00:20:48.000 It's the second longest barrier reef in the world, and yet by far more reachable and accessible than the great barrier reef of Australia.
00:21:00.000 No, I mean, it makes the Australian reef look like kindergarten sandbox toys.
00:21:07.000 Nothing by comparison.
00:21:08.000 Nevertheless, unfortunately, the people lived there and had for thousands of years.
00:21:17.000 I mean, starting with the Caraib Indians and then the Mayans and ultimately the Aztecs that allegedly killed off the Mayans.
00:21:30.000 And then came the Spanish and then came the slaves and then came a host of other things.
00:21:37.000 And Belize, La Perla del Carib, became that place, that go-to for everybody in the know of what the Caribbean really was fucking like.
00:21:53.000 San Pedro, well, two years of that, three years of that shit got old for me.
00:21:58.000 I mean, yes, it fucking is.
00:22:00.000 However, just behind me, I'm facing east on San Pedro Island, catching the sunrise every goddamn day, right over the reef.
00:22:11.000 The reef is how far away?
00:22:13.000 A quarter of a fucking mile.
00:22:16.000 And I have sailboats and powerboats and sport boats and jet skis.
00:22:21.000 And I'm living the life of a fucking millionaire.
00:22:28.000 Well, you are.
00:22:30.000 Well, of course.
00:22:33.000 Nevertheless, a life to be dreamed of.
00:22:36.000 And I was living it.
00:22:37.000 But people, I mean, the British, had the British still been there, I think I would have been fine.
00:22:45.000 But the British abandoned that motherfucking country 80 years before.
00:22:52.000 And in that time, first of all, they gave the country over to a largely illiterate and totally ignorant.
00:23:05.000 And I don't mean that in a negative way.
00:23:06.000 They simply didn't know jack shit about anything.
00:23:10.000 Populace, few of which even spoke English properly, and most of which were completely dependent upon the British Empire for food.
00:23:24.000 I mean, that's the Caribbean today.
00:23:26.000 The only successful countries down there are the ones the British run.
00:23:29.000 The rest are in a complete fucking mess.
00:23:32.000 Yeah, but this is an exception.
00:23:34.000 The British ran Belize, but when they left, they turned it over to fuck me, some strange people.
00:23:43.000 Over the next 75 years, Belize City, which even today is the murder capital of the planet, more people per capital are killed, mutilated, shot, disappeared, burned alive, blown up, or otherwise disposed of in Belize City than any city on this planet, people.
00:24:08.000 Well, there's still Aztecs, really, deep down.
00:24:11.000 They're still the same people that were sacrificing virgins and sacrificing babies.
00:24:16.000 Yeah, but now they just sacrifice foreigners, specifically Americans.
00:24:24.000 Why?
00:24:24.000 You can't fucking blame them.
00:24:26.000 Can you blame these people?
00:24:28.000 We, Americans, arrogant, powerful motherfuckers with cash, money banks, and our government with stealth fucking airplanes and bombs and the nuclear goddamn bomb.
00:24:45.000 And with one thousandths of America's army, you could wipe police off the face of the goddamn planet.
00:24:53.000 And so, yes, we're hated.
00:24:56.000 Who wouldn't hate Americans?
00:24:58.000 But nevertheless, I went there.
00:24:58.000 I'm being serious.
00:25:01.000 And a smart American would have, number one, maintained the lowest profile possible.
00:25:08.000 And number two, never have fucking left San Pedro.
00:25:14.000 But the jungle called to me.
00:25:19.000 I could not resist that call.
00:25:21.000 Yeah, why not set up the lab closer to San Pedro?
00:25:24.000 Why set up the lab so deep in the jungle?
00:25:27.000 Because the plants that I was researching were deep in the jungle.
00:25:31.000 You know, plants on San Pedro is a fucking island.
00:25:33.000 I mean, it's palm trees, a little bit of grass, all of it imported from either Europe or America.
00:25:39.000 And that's it.
00:25:40.000 So, no, nothing of interest in San Pedro.
00:25:43.000 Had to get into the jungle.
00:25:45.000 And he called me.
00:25:46.000 So I went.
00:25:47.000 I built a compound, a massive, I mean, a serious, the largest compound in the center of Belize.
00:25:55.000 It had 11 houses, 27 security guards, 17 Dogs patrolling the property, barbed wire fence surrounding 30 acres along the river, boats, people to kill the crocodiles who ate dogs, and I preferred my dogs to crocodiles, and so on.
00:26:16.000 No, I was a serious fucking compound.
00:26:18.000 People was a Colonel Kurtz compound of the highest order, except I didn't see myself as Colonel Kurtz.
00:26:27.000 I saw myself as what I've always seen myself as, a gentle, unassuming person, just trying to do my thing while not fucking with anybody else.
00:26:41.000 I mean, all I've ever asked of life is this.
00:26:43.000 I promise I will not fuck with anybody if people don't fuck with me, but I don't know what it is.
00:26:50.000 This is my face, my looks, my accent.
00:26:54.000 I'll drink to that.
00:26:56.000 There's two types of people in America.
00:26:58.000 The people who want to be left alone and the people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
00:27:03.000 Well, yeah, that's been my life.
00:27:05.000 That has been my life.
00:27:07.000 In reality, which is why I've been in jail 11 times in almost as many countries as Janice, and I just the fuck got out of jail nine months ago in the Dominican Republic.
00:27:21.000 And by the way, those of you looking for a jail experience should not start with the Dominican Republic.
00:27:31.000 It is, I've been in Mexican jails, Guatemalan jails, police jails.
00:27:36.000 Police jails are pretty bad, bad, I must admit, nothing has ever approached a Dominican Republic jail.
00:27:45.000 I heard they have weapons in DR jails.
00:27:48.000 Like, prisoners will have guns.
00:27:51.000 Not in my jail.
00:27:53.000 I don't know about other jails, but no, not in mine.
00:27:56.000 Listen, if the prisoners had guns, we'd break out.
00:27:59.000 Understand?
00:28:00.000 It's the guards that need to worry about.
00:28:03.000 They got the fucking guns.
00:28:04.000 And there ain't no laws.
00:28:06.000 No laws when it comes to how they treat criminals in the Dominican Republic.
00:28:14.000 Fuck no.
00:28:14.000 If we had guns in prison, we'd bust the cap in the first guard who came into the cell block.
00:28:21.000 No.
00:28:22.000 Fuck no.
00:28:24.000 It's not that way at all.
00:28:26.000 Did they beat you?
00:28:28.000 No, fuck no.
00:28:29.000 I'm 74.
00:28:31.000 They were terrified of killing me or me just dying of old age while on their property.
00:28:36.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:28:37.000 Okay, so you just got out of prison, horrible time.
00:28:41.000 You built this lab.
00:28:43.000 What was the government's motive to destroy it?
00:28:46.000 No, we're talking about two different things.
00:28:48.000 The Dominican Republic happened just nine months ago, at least nine years ago almost.
00:28:54.000 Okay, why did they destroy it?
00:28:56.000 Okay.
00:28:57.000 Yeah.
00:29:00.000 See, I'm a stupid Grinko.
00:29:02.000 I don't think of what it truly means to be hated by the majority of the world.
00:29:14.000 What it means in reality is if you're living outside of America, you are the lowest motherfucker on the totem pole.
00:29:23.000 And I went into the jungle with millions of dollars and created an estate where estates could not be created.
00:29:36.000 Why?
00:29:37.000 I had the wealth and experience, and I did it.
00:29:42.000 In the middle of one of the poorest countries on the planet, where policemen make $3 a day, if they're lucky, and must buy their own bullets and their own weapons, which is why most of the police have no fucking weapons in Belize.
00:30:03.000 The Dominican Republic, oh yes, they do.
00:30:06.000 But not in Belize.
00:30:09.000 There should be a fifth world, not just a third.
00:30:14.000 The Dominican Republic is a third world country.
00:30:17.000 No laws.
00:30:20.000 Those in power control, rule, choose, decide, and judge without any system whatsoever fucking ever.
00:30:30.000 But in police where those in power are just there tentatively because life is so fucking cheap.
00:30:41.000 So why did the government destroy your lab?
00:30:45.000 Okay, sir.
00:30:45.000 Get into it.
00:30:46.000 Background.
00:30:47.000 You got to have a background first.
00:30:49.000 True, true, true.
00:30:50.000 So now, a gringo comes into your country spending tens of millions of dollars.
00:30:58.000 He's in San Pedro, inviolet.
00:31:01.000 Can't touch a fucking American in San Pedro.
00:31:04.000 It's just America in police.
00:31:08.000 Can't fucking be done.
00:31:11.000 Why?
00:31:12.000 All of the goddamn money for the country comes from us, the Americans who are expatriates and police.
00:31:19.000 End the fucking story.
00:31:21.000 But one of us gringos, a stupid older motherfucker, moves into the jungle.
00:31:28.000 No white man had ever done that before.
00:31:31.000 In the entire district of Orangewalk, the largest section and district of police, I was the only white man.
00:31:41.000 They called me the white man.
00:31:44.000 I mean, not in any derogatory way, no more than it's derogatory to call a fat man Gordo.
00:31:51.000 Have you seen Gordo?
00:31:53.000 You don't have to remember anybody's name.
00:31:55.000 Oh, the fat man, yes.
00:31:58.000 Have you seen the white man?
00:31:59.000 Well, yeah, he was in here this morning.
00:32:01.000 No.
00:32:02.000 I go to restaurants.
00:32:04.000 White man, how are you?
00:32:06.000 No.
00:32:07.000 Now, that's the world I was in.
00:32:10.000 And yet this world, which seemed, at least locally, to be easily understood and worked with, from a political and historical standpoint, I was just in the fucking dark.
00:32:28.000 And so what happened is A year and a half after I'd moved there, established my compound, was creating, and by the way, we had a goddamn spray-on antiseptic that would have changed the fucking world.
00:32:44.000 About ready to release it.
00:32:46.000 We had tested 5,000 bottles of it on Belesians who were storming my front gate for more.
00:32:54.000 Now, we had some shit.
00:32:56.000 So the governor comes in in the guise of a local congressman.
00:33:04.000 Mr. McAfee, we're so happy you've chosen to come to Orange Walk to live.
00:33:13.000 You know that the election is coming up in two months.
00:33:17.000 We think that if you were to donate $2 million to the UDP, the ruling party, that it would assure our win in March.
00:33:35.000 And beyond that, Mr. McAfee, we're willing to give you 10,000 acres along the New River near the recently unearthed Mayan City up the river.
00:33:58.000 You know, if you're going to extort someone, start small with like 200 grand or something.
00:34:04.000 You know, 2 million is a pretty big ask for your first extortion.
00:34:10.000 It probably would have been 200,000 if I had been wise enough not to make my wealth and influence so fucking apparent.
00:34:23.000 Right.
00:34:24.000 And that's the goddamn problem.
00:34:26.000 What idiot builds what I build in third-world countries?
00:34:31.000 This isn't my first rodeo with this problem.
00:34:35.000 No, that's the issue, is that I didn't play what I...
00:34:35.000 Fuck no.
00:34:44.000 They possibly murdered Greg Falls.
00:34:46.000 They didn't burn down the lab till after I left police.
00:34:48.000 Then they burned down the whole fucking world.
00:34:51.000 But why not just rebuild the lab wherever you are now?
00:34:53.000 Surely the technology, the medicine is still in your head.
00:34:58.000 Yeah, sure as fuck is.
00:35:00.000 But every single plant that we discovered was unique, not just to the country of Belize, but to maybe a three-kilometer wide section of the fucking river.
00:35:17.000 I can't do it.
00:35:18.000 It's not possible.
00:35:20.000 I can't go back to Belize.
00:35:22.000 I can't create a company in Belize.
00:35:24.000 I can't trust anything that happens in Belize.
00:35:28.000 Yes, of course, that would be great.
00:35:30.000 That's not how the world works.
00:35:33.000 So the secret to all of this is if you're going to do something radical in a turd world country, keep a low profile.
00:35:42.000 Don't have a jet ski.
00:35:43.000 Don't even tell anybody your goddamn name.
00:35:45.000 Make up a fake name.
00:35:47.000 No one gives a shit.
00:35:48.000 What's your name?
00:35:48.000 Zaphod Beeblebox.
00:35:50.000 That's interesting.
00:35:51.000 Thank you.
00:35:53.000 My name is John Smith.
00:35:55.000 Nice to meet you, John.
00:35:56.000 Nice to meet you, Zaphod.
00:35:57.000 Fuck.
00:35:58.000 That's it.
00:35:59.000 No, but no, I donated armaments to the Belizean police, which were headlined in the newspapers.
00:36:10.000 And I donated an assault vessel, a marine vessel, to the Belizean Coast Guard so that they could actually take quads, the four-wheel machines, onto the beach, farm that fucking boat.
00:36:29.000 Power on wide.
00:36:30.000 I mean, goddamn, the drug trade murder mayhem along the beaches of the northern island towards a fucking legendary.
00:36:41.000 So, yeah, so I donated a boat.
00:36:44.000 You know, I used to live in Montezuma, Costa Rica, and my friends who would come to visit, they called it Camp Murderer because everyone they met had some story about a hit and run or they were wanted for growing pot and they just went there and never came back.
00:37:01.000 Yeah, that happens in Costa Rica, too.
00:37:04.000 So do you think, so you can never return to Central America?
00:37:08.000 No, fuck no.
00:37:10.000 Well, I understand you're running for president now for almost two months in Belize, while every one of their 17,000-man army and every police officer, their 8,000 police officers, had my photo and instructions from the prime minister.
00:37:10.000 Please, God.
00:37:33.000 The highest priority is to collect this man dead or alive.
00:37:37.000 Now, yes, it was spooky.
00:37:42.000 How did you get out of there?
00:37:44.000 Oh, you need to read the story.
00:37:46.000 It's very complicated.
00:37:48.000 It's online.
00:37:48.000 Just Google John McVeigh Belize.
00:37:50.000 There are tons of stories about how I got out.
00:37:53.000 I remember seeing you on the boat with your wife carrying those guns saying, if you don't hear from me, something bad has happened.
00:37:59.000 Well, that has nothing to do with police.
00:38:01.000 That was just last year.
00:38:02.000 That was on the way from Cuba to somewhere, Dominican Republic, I think.
00:38:07.000 That was just a year ago.
00:38:09.000 Totally different story.
00:38:10.000 I read a study recently that said that people who make spontaneous decisions tend to have happier lives.
00:38:19.000 I don't know.
00:38:20.000 All of my decisions.
00:38:22.000 You seem to personify spontaneous decisions.
00:38:25.000 I don't know how to make a decision.
00:38:27.000 I've tried a thousand times to make a decision that would impact my future more than 30 seconds out.
00:38:27.000 It works.
00:38:37.000 It never works.
00:38:39.000 We are not crystal balls to ourselves.
00:38:42.000 Yes, but you seem disproportionately attracted to danger.
00:38:42.000 I wish we were.
00:38:47.000 No, no, no.
00:38:49.000 If you see the truth of your life and the truth of people, number one, you can't trust anybody, not even your mother.
00:38:57.000 People say, well, you can trust your mother.
00:39:00.000 Really?
00:39:01.000 Look at history.
00:39:02.000 Lydia, wife of Caesar Augustus, has killed all her fucking children, except one, and her husband, and everybody else in the goddamn family, because she favored one of her goddamn sons, Germanicus, fucking idiot, as far as I can tell.
00:39:23.000 It's her son, yet she killed everybody to make sure he succeeded the fucking throne.
00:39:30.000 You can't even trust your mother, people.
00:39:32.000 So we're number one.
00:39:33.000 Can't trust anyone.
00:39:34.000 John, you're born in England, but your McAfee implies genetically Scottish, right?
00:39:43.000 Here's the thing.
00:39:44.000 My father and mother and grandfathers, all of my relatives claimed it was pronounced McAfee.
00:39:53.000 But we all know the truth of our goddamn parents.
00:39:57.000 There are parents that told us about Santa Claus, the fucking Easter bunny?
00:40:04.000 Please.
00:40:05.000 I mean, parents who will lie about something so fundamentally horrific.
00:40:10.000 Who knows how to pronounce the name?
00:40:13.000 I mean, I'm more inclined to think that the pronunciation has nothing similar to McAfee.
00:40:22.000 Well, I don't care how it's pronounced.
00:40:24.000 I'm just saying that you must have Scottish lineage.
00:40:28.000 It's actually Irish.
00:40:29.000 I wish it were Scottish because I'd have more money.
00:40:32.000 You fucking Scottish people have more money than God.
00:40:36.000 Because you do make long-term fucking decisions.
00:40:36.000 Why?
00:40:40.000 That's Irish.
00:40:41.000 The only decision we have to make is...
00:40:49.000 It's not going to last an hour.
00:40:51.000 Do I get up and get another bottle before my next podcast?
00:40:55.000 Or do I, I don't know, ration this motherfucker out and see what happens.
00:41:02.000 Well, I'm trying to lead you to a concept here where they say the Scots, they fought the English for 700 years, and the ones who don't like conflict are extinct, and they've genetically been bred to thrive in a state of conflict and danger.
00:41:21.000 I think the Irish FUB, I really do.
00:41:24.000 I mean, for the Irish, I mean, we're goddamn born into nothing but danger.
00:41:30.000 I mean, there's nothing else in life for us.
00:41:32.000 And so for the Irish, life is about running from, avoiding, hiding behind something from danger, because that's all there is.
00:41:44.000 And given that, while we're in hiding, while we're running from, we fucking drink way more than you goddamn scotch people.
00:41:53.000 I'm sorry.
00:41:54.000 That's a challenge right there.
00:41:56.000 You are definitely drunker than I am right now.
00:42:01.000 Do you think that your lifestyle choices are genetic is what I'm getting at?
00:42:05.000 What are you drinking?
00:42:06.000 What are you drinking?
00:42:08.000 It's a sponsor of ours.
00:42:10.000 It's called America Bourbon.
00:42:12.000 It's like a pro-Trump whiskey company.
00:42:15.000 Is it now?
00:42:16.000 Yeah.
00:42:18.000 I'm almost ashamed to say I'm drinking Jameson.
00:42:22.000 It's for bartenders.
00:42:22.000 I don't like Jameson.
00:42:24.000 Well, yes, Dod.
00:42:26.000 What am I but a bartender to myself?
00:42:29.000 Now, speaking of Trump, I understand you're running for president.
00:42:33.000 No longer.
00:42:34.000 No longer.
00:42:35.000 I mean, the woman, I can't even remember her name, was nominated way ahead of me in the Libertarian Party.
00:42:43.000 So, no, that's over.
00:42:44.000 I'm not going to form a new party more than likely.
00:42:48.000 So, no.
00:42:49.000 Actually, my first run, I came in third.
00:42:52.000 Yeah.
00:42:53.000 Even on an honorable fucking mention this time.
00:42:57.000 But, see, I don't wonder about it.
00:42:58.000 I mean, for example, I missed most of the debates.
00:43:03.000 I was asked why the day after one of them said, well, I was too fucking stoned and drunk.
00:43:12.000 That's the simple truth of it.
00:43:15.000 That's the truth of it.
00:43:16.000 So it probably means I don't really care.
00:43:19.000 I'm not sure.
00:43:20.000 I'm really not sure, but I'm telling the truth.
00:43:23.000 And then everybody laughed, thinking that was a joke, but no, it was not.
00:43:27.000 I was just too stoned and drunk to do it.
00:43:30.000 Fuck.
00:43:32.000 Why can't people get with that answer?
00:43:36.000 If you were to become president and you were running the country, would you privatize absolutely everything?
00:43:47.000 What about education?
00:43:52.000 First of all, I don't think anything in America is truly privatized today.
00:44:03.000 Let's start there, shall we?
00:44:05.000 I mean, you think, oh, yeah, we're all privatized.
00:44:08.000 No, I don't think anything is.
00:44:10.000 I mean, you, if you have a job, those of you who are listening, you have a steady income, and each week or month, money is taken out of what you have worked so hard to earn for what?
00:44:29.000 That's a good point.
00:44:30.000 Like, this is a sponsor of ours.
00:44:31.000 If I shat on, I can't shit on this, even if I hated it.
00:44:34.000 I wouldn't do that because it's our sponsor.
00:44:37.000 Send it to me, and I'll do it, and you won't be responsible.
00:44:39.000 But anyway, that's not of interest to me.
00:44:42.000 That really is not.
00:44:44.000 What is of interest is that we have been given the illusion of freedom, the illusion of self-determination, and the illusion that we own the fruits of our labor.
00:45:04.000 Those are the three greatest illusions of the modern age, people.
00:45:11.000 None of those.
00:45:12.000 None of those.
00:45:13.000 But I want to hear your process.
00:45:15.000 If you become president, what do you do?
00:45:18.000 Step one.
00:45:20.000 Well, number one, I don't want to be president.
00:45:22.000 Number two, it won't matter.
00:45:24.000 I mean, your assumption is this, that whoever gains the Presidency will make a difference.
00:45:33.000 I make the difference.
00:45:35.000 I could refer you to any number of sources in your own existence to prove my point.
00:45:43.000 Those of you who are over the age of 45, for example, will have remembered the Second Gulf War with absolute fucking precision.
00:45:55.000 You were an adult when it was happening.
00:45:58.000 Well, what happened?
00:46:00.000 Well, what happened is the CIA stormed into George Bush's office and said, Mr. President, please sit down.
00:46:12.000 We have covert information of the highest priority.
00:46:20.000 Iraq, we have just discovered, Mr. President, has the nuclear bomb and ballistic missiles capable of delivering those nuclear bombs to our closest ally.
00:46:38.000 And each of those bombs, Mr. President, is 10,000 times more powerful than the bombs we dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
00:46:54.000 Now, Mr. President, we're not here to advise you.
00:46:58.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:46:59.000 The CIA does not advise.
00:47:03.000 We're simply here to inform you.
00:47:05.000 And we're glad that this decision does not rest upon our shoulders.
00:47:12.000 Well, what fucking could he do, Mr. Bush, other than immediately bomb Iraq?
00:47:18.000 Please wake up, people.
00:47:20.000 Now, everybody in the world knew Iraq did not have nuclear weapons, including the American public.
00:47:30.000 But the people who did not know were the executive branch and Congress, both houses who were dealt with in the same fashion by the CIA, who maintains a staff of thousands of people who don't advise Congress or the President, but merely form so that I could say things like I'm saying right now.
00:48:02.000 So you had no intention of winning or getting to the White House?
00:48:06.000 I'm John fucking McAfee.
00:48:08.000 Please come, people.
00:48:09.000 I mean, anybody who thinks I could win, again, move back in your mom's basement and lock the door.
00:48:16.000 I mean, you don't deserve to be out in the adult world.
00:48:21.000 Well, you have to admit, though, I understand what you're saying, and I follow, I believe, I agree.
00:48:27.000 But within the parameters of powerlessness that is the White House, don't you think Trump is the best we've had in a long time?
00:48:36.000 All right.
00:48:37.000 You're pushing me to the law.
00:48:39.000 I regret it because I don't know why people shouldn't do this.
00:48:45.000 But yeah.
00:48:46.000 Now, let me ask you a question.
00:48:49.000 If, in fact, presidents who can make no goddamn decisions in a fucking vacuum and are informed only by covert agencies, and in America there are 14, the CIA, the NSA, the Secret Service, the branches of military fucking intelligence, on and on and on.
00:49:16.000 These are the elements of decision-making for presidents.
00:49:24.000 Do you understand people?
00:49:26.000 The presidency is a seat in a car with a frozen fucking steering wheel.
00:49:36.000 It does not matter who sits in that fucking seat.
00:49:40.000 If you doubt it, please.
00:49:42.000 Those of you who've seen more than one presidential election will have noticed one thing.
00:49:50.000 When there is a change of power between Republicans and Democrats, Democrats and Republicans, did a single fucking hair on your heads get wafted by that explosion?
00:50:09.000 No.
00:50:10.000 Nothing ever goddamn changes.
00:50:12.000 Even if presidents truly are trying to do something like Obama with Obamacare, I'm not saying it's good or bad.
00:50:20.000 Fuck it.
00:50:20.000 Who cares?
00:50:21.000 Here's the truth.
00:50:22.000 Obamacare sprang up, existed, and simply disappeared as fast as it grew.
00:50:31.000 Now you tell me that presidents can change something.
00:50:36.000 No, give me a fucking example.
00:50:39.000 Ever in the past 61 goddamn years.
00:50:47.000 No.
00:50:49.000 Dwight Eisenhower was our last real president of America.
00:50:54.000 Any of you who can Google and read about history will know this.
00:51:00.000 And what did he say on leaving office?
00:51:04.000 Christ, the most important of all words ever spoken by a U.S. president.
00:51:13.000 What did he say?
00:51:16.000 He said, people, America, the public, beware of the two greatest threats to your freedom.
00:51:28.000 Number one, the CIA, the Central Intelligence Agency.
00:51:35.000 And number two, the military-industrial complex, which we later learned was the same goddamn thing.
00:51:44.000 Now, the last one, the very next president, a man of extraordinary intelligence, saw the same fucking thing.
00:51:57.000 He said, not long into his presidency, I am going to shut down the CIA.
00:52:06.000 That kind of fire gave up.
00:52:08.000 I want to break up their departments and give them to other, we already have 13 more, other covert agencies.
00:52:20.000 19 days later, he was involved in an accident in Texas where someone accidentally shot him in the head.
00:52:32.000 Yeah.
00:52:32.000 Can you wake up?
00:52:34.000 And if that's not enough, his fucking brother, Robert Kennedy, a few years later, ran for president on what fucking platform?
00:52:48.000 We're going to remove the CIA from any role within the American government.
00:52:56.000 What happened to him 36 days later?
00:53:00.000 He was shot in the head at a campaign rally.
00:53:04.000 Now, if you can't see the connectedness, the obvious fucking reality of your existence and still insist on believing that you live in a fucking democracy in which you may vote and control your future,
00:53:27.000 then I will reach through this fucking screen and grab you by the throat and shake you till you wake up to the truth of your fucking reality.
00:53:42.000 Children, when I was your age, 30, 40, even 50, I'm 74 now, we would never have tolerated this shit from the U.S. government.
00:53:59.000 I lived through the 60s and 1965, I was 20 years old in an experimenter in drugs.
00:54:08.000 I became a hippie.
00:54:09.000 Hell, people, did we try to change the world through love?
00:54:19.000 Fucking love that's gone.
00:54:23.000 How did the fucking 60s end?
00:54:25.000 It ended at Kent State University in Ohio with students shoving daisies into the barrels of automatic weapons, which moments later mowed down every fucking student.
00:54:48.000 They shot one.
00:54:51.000 Pardon?
00:54:51.000 No, I don't know.
00:54:52.000 I thought they just shot one.
00:54:53.000 Bull fucking shit.
00:54:55.000 They killed four.
00:54:56.000 Killed four.
00:54:58.000 Look it up.
00:54:59.000 I was there, goddammit.
00:55:01.000 Okay.
00:55:02.000 I was fucking there.
00:55:04.000 Four.
00:55:05.000 Neil Young wrote the goddamn song, Four Dead in Ohio.
00:55:11.000 Sorry.
00:55:12.000 Let's get down to it.
00:55:14.000 Soldiers are gunning us down.
00:55:18.000 Should have been done long ago.
00:55:21.000 Four dead in Ohio, people.
00:55:24.000 Multiple shot and fucking mutilated by a what?
00:55:30.000 The National Guard because young girls were placing daisies in the fucking barrels of their rifles.
00:55:41.000 There is an image of one of these rifles firing, obliterating a daisy.
00:55:52.000 So you think Kent State, the shooting at Kent State was sort of the death of rebellion in America?
00:55:58.000 It was a death of ours.
00:56:01.000 We did what we could do.
00:56:03.000 We sacrificed lives.
00:56:05.000 We carried signs in the street.
00:56:08.000 We wore our hair long.
00:56:11.000 We related to one another through our garb, through our language, through our looks, through our love.
00:56:24.000 What the fuck happened to love, people?
00:56:28.000 What the fuck happened to love?
00:56:31.000 What have you done, children?
00:56:33.000 We kind of picked up the hate torch.
00:56:36.000 It seems to be a little more effective.
00:56:41.000 I hate the government.
00:56:42.000 I hate authority.
00:56:44.000 I hate tyranny.
00:56:46.000 What does hate create?
00:56:47.000 More hate.
00:56:49.000 Just on the other side.
00:56:51.000 Hate creates death, obliteration on both sides.
00:56:56.000 Each wants the other to disappear.
00:56:59.000 I'm not loving Hillary.
00:57:01.000 I hate Hillary.
00:57:02.000 I hate the DNC.
00:57:05.000 Why do you care about personalities?
00:57:07.000 Seriously, when's the last time you had dinner with Hillary?
00:57:11.000 When's the last time you talked with her?
00:57:13.000 No, please, listen to me.
00:57:15.000 The last time you talked with her about religion, the meaning of life, politics, children, love, sex, death, when was the last time you did that?
00:57:26.000 Okay.
00:57:27.000 I hate boring people at dinner parties.
00:57:29.000 I hate liberals at dinner parties.
00:57:31.000 And you don't know Jack shit about her or Trump or anybody.
00:57:36.000 People, you must understand yourselves first.
00:57:39.000 You must know why this shit is here.
00:57:44.000 It's because of you and me for not paying attention to you, goddamn children.
00:57:51.000 No, it's all of us.
00:57:53.000 Hillary's got nothing to do with our plight.
00:57:55.000 Neither does Trump.
00:57:56.000 Neither does anybody.
00:57:57.000 And if you think they do, it's merely an excuse not to take the blame yourself.
00:58:05.000 Well, give us some tools here to move forward.
00:58:08.000 We have an entire two generations here.
00:58:11.000 No, Gen X, Millennials, and Zoomers all listening to you right now.
00:58:15.000 How do we move forward?
00:58:16.000 What's the plan?
00:58:18.000 How do I know that anybody's listening to us right now?
00:58:20.000 Listen, I'm taking it on your faith.
00:58:22.000 I mean, you don't look exactly like the.
00:58:24.000 I mean, you do have a nice microphone.
00:58:26.000 Actually, here's my microphone.
00:58:28.000 God knows why I got this motherfucker.
00:58:30.000 What does it mean?
00:58:31.000 Tell me what this goddamn screen is all about.
00:58:34.000 Well, we got 16,000 listening now.
00:58:37.000 And if I put it on YouTube, that's another 350,000.
00:58:41.000 That's too many.
00:58:42.000 They don't deserve this.
00:58:44.000 You should call me back.
00:58:46.000 When there's only four people listening, you've asked a deep question that only four or five people deserve the answer to.
00:58:57.000 Why don't you repeat the question and I'll try it again.
00:59:00.000 Okay, this is the question.
00:59:01.000 Let's be frank.
00:59:02.000 There are three generations listening to you.
00:59:04.000 No, four generations listening to you right now.
00:59:07.000 We understand, we agree with you that the government is a Potemkin village, but we're still alive.
00:59:15.000 We still have kids.
00:59:16.000 They're going to have grandkids.
00:59:18.000 We need tools moving forward.
00:59:19.000 What's the plan?
00:59:20.000 Is it cryptocurrency, refusing to pay tax?
00:59:23.000 Is it getting yourself off of the grid and not being identified?
00:59:30.000 Tell us.
00:59:33.000 You're asking a question like a man drowning in a jungle river in the middle of it.
00:59:40.000 Remember, I lived in the fucking jungle for years.
00:59:43.000 I know what jungle rivers are.
00:59:45.000 I had to have a team of guards shoot crocodiles just to keep them from eating my fucking dogs.
00:59:53.000 So you're like a man in the middle of the river going, all right, now, people, what should rescue us?
01:00:03.000 How about a 150-foot Fedship yacht?
01:00:09.000 Costs, fuck me, a quarter of a billion dollars.
01:00:13.000 So that should be able to rescue us.
01:00:16.000 And another guy drowning in the goddamn river says, well, no, no, no, no, no.
01:00:21.000 We should be rescued by an Olympic swimmer.
01:00:24.000 I mean, someone capable of swimming out with great strength, taking us along, swimming us to shore.
01:00:33.000 Because really, that's a question you asked me.
01:00:36.000 You people, you kids, you worry about what should we do with politics?
01:00:42.000 Who should we choose as a leader?
01:00:47.000 Fuck that shit.
01:00:50.000 The question is, who are you, people?
01:00:54.000 And what can you do?
01:00:56.000 Do you give a flying fuck what someone else can do?
01:01:00.000 Hillary, Donald, Zaphod, fucking Beevil Rocks.
01:01:07.000 Do you fucking care?
01:01:09.000 You shouldn't.
01:01:10.000 You are responsible for this fucking mess.
01:01:16.000 When you talk to people who are on the back nine, as it were, in their 70s, coming towards the end, they tend to have a very apocalyptic view of the future.
01:01:25.000 And they tend to say, there's no hope.
01:01:27.000 This is irreparable.
01:01:28.000 I'm glad I'm going out.
01:01:30.000 It could be a coping mechanism.
01:01:32.000 If you put me in that classification, then I'll accept it.
01:01:35.000 I have no problem with it.
01:01:37.000 Yeah.
01:01:38.000 If you think I am one of those to give an apocalyptic answer to everything.
01:01:44.000 Well, you just said Earth, humankind is drowning in a jungle river.
01:01:48.000 That's pretty apocalyptic.
01:01:50.000 Well, if you don't see that, then why are we talking?
01:01:56.000 Not you, my friend.
01:01:57.000 But the listeners out there.
01:02:00.000 If you don't think you're drowning in the river, if you don't think your life is out of control, if you don't think governments are intruding ever more intensely into your privacy, if you don't think you're being watched and judged,
01:02:18.000 if you don't think that your life in all reality belongs to some other thing, a government, an agency, some covert entity.
01:02:36.000 I mean, if you don't see that, well, fuck me.
01:02:39.000 Why don't we talk about movies?
01:02:41.000 Because I know a lot about movies and we can have fun.
01:02:45.000 If you do fucking see that, then good God Almighty, who is responsible for where you fucking are?
01:02:55.000 You.
01:02:56.000 Good God, do you understand what insanities we engage in?
01:03:03.000 People spending $100 million fucking dollars to be president for a job?
01:03:13.000 Barely paying $300,000 a year.
01:03:19.000 And someone's paying $100 million for that.
01:03:21.000 Well, you know, listen, when I was your age, my first thought was, let's see, well, that doesn't add up.
01:03:29.000 And well, someone will say, well, it doesn't matter.
01:03:31.000 He's not paying it or she's not paying it.
01:03:34.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:03:36.000 Somebody's paying it.
01:03:38.000 And we're voting for them.
01:03:40.000 Jesus God.
01:03:42.000 Get real with yourselves, children.
01:03:45.000 If you don't think that is drowning in a river when you actually vote for someone spending a hundred times, a hundred fucking times what the job pays, then I have no hope for you, nor for humanity.
01:04:05.000 So of course, I can give you nothing but an apocalyptic appraisal of where you're goddamn headed.
01:04:14.000 And that's my rant for today.
01:04:18.000 My problem, my upset.
01:04:21.000 John, that was beautiful.
01:04:23.000 Thank you for coming on the show.
01:04:25.000 You're welcome, my friend.
01:04:26.000 Thank you.
01:04:27.000 Cheers.
01:04:32.000 I feel drunk now, and it's not the two sips of whiskey I had.
01:04:36.000 Doesn't he make you want to get wasted?
01:04:38.000 It's sort of like the show intervention, where they go, I was drinking all day.
01:04:38.000 Yeah.
01:04:43.000 I'd wake up and have shots, and you're supposed to go, oh my God.
01:04:47.000 But it sort of makes you go, well, if you're that wasted, I can have a few shots.
01:04:51.000 I'm not going to be slurring.
01:04:53.000 My dad, I think one of the reasons my dad's a drunk is because his IQ is so high, he doesn't feel like he can relate to anyone.
01:04:59.000 So he lowers it with booze, and then he's one of the part of the people.
01:05:05.000 I apologize for not grilling the guy about the rape, the alleged rape of Allison Adonichio or pushing more on Greg Fall.
01:05:14.000 I'm not, this is not 2020, so we're not here to grill you on every footnote on your Wikipedia.
01:05:20.000 You can look that up for yourself, but uh, it was Venezuela I was thinking of.
01:05:27.000 That's the place I saw it on locked up abroad, where some prisoners had guns, and that place was just walled off.
01:05:34.000 They'd throw them some food so they didn't die.
01:05:36.000 And they'd have riots all the time.
01:05:37.000 You say, wait, but wait, if prisoners had guns, wouldn't they riot and shoot people?
01:05:41.000 Yeah, they did.
01:05:43.000 Venezuela is worse than prison.
01:05:46.000 So their prisons, they're going to suck some shit.
01:05:50.000 Never happened in the States.
01:05:53.000 In Mexico, I knew a guy was in a Mexican prison.
01:05:55.000 There was so few room, so little room, I should say, that they would spoon each other.
01:06:00.000 Like a row.
01:06:01.000 It was a big open sort of cement thing.
01:06:03.000 God, it must have been hot.
01:06:04.000 Rows and rows of men.
01:06:06.000 Right?
01:06:07.000 And then they're all spooning in one direction.
01:06:10.000 And then a bell goes off and they have to switch sides.
01:06:13.000 That's the only way you sleep.
01:06:15.000 Just like butt to ass.
01:06:17.000 And then if you get up to go pee, they beat the shit out of you on your way to the bathroom.
01:06:22.000 This sounds very gay.
01:06:23.000 Okay, you just roasted us on YouTube.
01:06:25.000 I'm going to get 900 copyright strikes.
01:06:27.000 For those?
01:06:28.000 Yeah.
01:06:29.000 I get about 10 copyright strikes every time we put a video up.
01:06:34.000 So that was our extra special episode today with John McCaffey.
01:06:38.000 I guess I'm going to make this free on YouTube.
01:06:44.000 Did he do it?
01:06:45.000 Did he kill Greg Fall?
01:06:46.000 Did he rape that chick?
01:06:49.000 I don't know.
01:06:50.000 I do know.
01:06:52.000 I definitely don't think he was making meth in that lab.
01:06:55.000 That would be idiotic.
01:06:56.000 And you would die instantly.
01:06:58.000 I lived in Montezuma.
01:06:59.000 The value of life down there is nothing.
01:07:02.000 There was this nature preserve near where we were in Montezuma.
01:07:06.000 And it was two hippies from Denmark.
01:07:09.000 And they wanted to make sure that there wasn't too much building going on.
01:07:13.000 So she successfully got one preserve, and her husband was working on another one closer to Punta Arinas.
01:07:19.000 And he said, we don't want developers here.
01:07:22.000 I'm sorry.
01:07:22.000 I know it's valuable to you, and you could make a lot of money selling this wood, whatever they want to do here, but it would devastate the jungle.
01:07:30.000 So we're not doing that.
01:07:31.000 And they went, yeah, we are.
01:07:34.000 Chops that off.
01:07:37.000 When I was last there, they have their own illegal aliens.
01:07:41.000 Like we have Mexicans.
01:07:42.000 They have their Mexicans, which I think are usually Hondurans.
01:07:46.000 And there was an argument with two of them about sleeping with the other guy's wife.
01:07:49.000 And it was his cousin.
01:07:51.000 He chopped off both his hands with the machete.
01:07:55.000 How do you chop off two hands?
01:07:57.000 They'd have to be sitting like this.
01:07:58.000 Because you chop off one of my hands, you're not getting the other one.
01:08:01.000 I'm like, get this guy out of here.
01:08:03.000 He's bad news.
01:08:04.000 With your one good hand?
01:08:05.000 Yeah, you, out.
01:08:09.000 But with no two hands, you can't tell him to leave.
01:08:11.000 But I guess he was probably like, they were wasted and he was probably like, look, I won't fuck her ever again.
01:08:17.000 Yeah.
01:08:18.000 You kind of did that thing that when people say Spanish words and you put on the accent, you said, when I went to Puntarinas.
01:08:26.000 No, I didn't.
01:08:27.000 Oh, yeah.
01:08:28.000 Puntarinas.
01:08:29.000 What am I supposed to say?
01:08:30.000 Puntaranas?
01:08:33.000 You're about to puntarian ass.
01:08:35.000 Puntarinas would be how you'd say it.
01:08:38.000 You kind of did.
01:08:38.000 One time in Punta Rinas, I saw a fucking guy.
01:08:42.000 He looked pretty like Caucasian, but he was dark brown from being in the sun.
01:08:48.000 He would fight with seagulls for scraps.
01:08:54.000 It was by Punta Rinas is disgusting, right?
01:08:57.000 It's one of the horrible, most horrible places on earth.
01:09:00.000 And he was there, and there was where the boats would dock and leave.
01:09:05.000 It was sort of a bit of sand.
01:09:06.000 I guess the beach went steep, went down really fast.
01:09:11.000 You could get really close, but still have a little bit of sand in the port.
01:09:15.000 And so there'd be garbage there and seagulls.
01:09:17.000 And there was a guy who looked like Jesus.
01:09:18.000 He had on like the Jesus loincloth, just rags that were probably shorts one day that had become rags, beard with dreads in it, hair with dreads in it, and there'd be scraps and the seagulls would be and he'd become fighting with them for like a piece of a fucking gross dead fish.
01:09:38.000 Seagulls were his peers.
01:09:45.000 Can you imagine that?
01:09:50.000 That's going to get us censored on YouTube too, dude.
01:09:52.000 Use your brazane.
01:09:56.000 All right, we're out of time.
01:09:57.000 Just gonna do the mailbag.
01:09:58.000 Not gonna do it.