Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 07, 2020


S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY [2020-07-07 - S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY]


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 37 minutes

Words per Minute

158.1725

Word Count

15,435

Sentence Count

1,686

Misogynist Sentences

95

Hate Speech Sentences

144


Summary

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the are joined by their good friend Ryan to talk about a variety of topics. Ryan talks about his time in Japan, and Mike talks about getting lost in the rain.


Transcript

00:00:34.000 What were they saying, Ryan?
00:00:37.000 Believe it or not, I don't know any Japanese.
00:00:41.000 You don't even know any Japanese dad.
00:00:44.000 Yeah, no, it was.
00:00:46.000 Very good.
00:00:47.000 You're half Japanese, but you don't know any Japanese because that Japanese got the fuck out of Dodge.
00:00:53.000 That sounded like Quentin Taratino.
00:00:55.000 Well, when he was being a black brother.
00:00:57.000 Yeah.
00:00:58.000 You know, I like my fans, but my critics ain't my fans, so I don't give a damn.
00:01:04.000 I got on a caputer.
00:01:05.000 Remember what he called it?
00:01:06.000 A baputer?
00:01:07.000 A zap rooter.
00:01:08.000 I got on a zap rooter.
00:01:10.000 Tapping away my taloo.
00:01:12.000 He was like, he was a weird red fox from the 30s or something.
00:01:18.000 That's the other problem.
00:01:19.000 When you're being black, you got to get the right time.
00:01:22.000 You can't be like, look at these fine foxy mamas.
00:01:26.000 All right, brother.
00:01:29.000 You're a quarter century off there, guy.
00:01:36.000 That was Kanayori Masaru.
00:01:39.000 Band from Japan.
00:01:40.000 Keep up with youth, they're called.
00:01:43.000 Girl band.
00:01:46.000 There's pretty much nothing known about them because Japanese people are unilingual.
00:01:52.000 Did you know that?
00:01:54.000 They really don't speak other languages over there, huh?
00:01:56.000 No.
00:01:57.000 When you walk around Japan, you're like, hi, I'm in the Shibuya district, the most touristy place in all of Japan.
00:02:04.000 Can I ask you something?
00:02:08.000 You get in a taxi, no one knows what the fuck you're saying.
00:02:11.000 And I'm not learning that crazy language with its little drawings for every word.
00:02:16.000 That's terrible.
00:02:17.000 You need to have some nips in your pocket.
00:02:19.000 I heard they're very ethnocentric.
00:02:22.000 Right?
00:02:23.000 No, they're getting politically correct.
00:02:26.000 They had a Black Lives Matter thing.
00:02:30.000 What?
00:02:32.000 The weird Zeus behind why Japanese people can't speak English.
00:02:35.000 Maybe it was Hiroshima and Nagasaki put them in a bad mood.
00:02:39.000 Yeah, they got a grudge.
00:02:41.000 The grudge.
00:02:42.000 One time I was at a bar in New York, Max Fish, and there was a Japanese guy there.
00:02:47.000 And I was like, yeah, very funny.
00:02:50.000 Very funny.
00:02:51.000 And he's like, oh, you seem angry.
00:02:52.000 I am pissed off.
00:02:53.000 I'm pissed off about Pearl Harbor.
00:02:55.000 And he was a guy that was with our group, right?
00:02:56.000 It was obviously a joke.
00:02:57.000 But he didn't get the joke.
00:02:58.000 And he goes, oh.
00:03:01.000 Because I guess in Japan, they're big on like, oh, that was, you're very angry.
00:03:05.000 That big deal to you.
00:03:06.000 Meanwhile, in Scotland, it's like, you'd diarrhea my mother's face.
00:03:10.000 And I'd go, dude.
00:03:11.000 Actually, no, I'd stab you.
00:03:13.000 But he goes, okay, but understand, has there ever been anyone so brave as to attack America like that?
00:03:22.000 This was before 9-11, by the way.
00:03:24.000 And I was like, yeah, okay, it was brave.
00:03:26.000 I'm not mad about it, by the way.
00:03:30.000 I wouldn't be mad at you for something that happened half a century ago.
00:03:36.000 We've got a fun show for you today.
00:03:39.000 Is it raining outside?
00:03:42.000 Did you see that storm last night?
00:03:44.000 I loved it.
00:03:45.000 I went out in it and waved a, I did a Florida band.
00:03:49.000 Really?
00:03:49.000 With my USA shorts and my flag.
00:03:53.000 You should have videoed that.
00:03:54.000 I did.
00:03:55.000 Well, I had my wife video it.
00:03:57.000 And women are fucking useless.
00:03:59.000 Was it just a picture?
00:04:01.000 So the camera focused on the beads of water on the window.
00:04:06.000 So I'm a total blur.
00:04:08.000 Damn it.
00:04:10.000 And then I'm putting the flag back, and she's like, you think I can hear you in a fucking storm, lady, through a window?
00:04:19.000 But I guess she was saying, you have to do it again.
00:04:21.000 I should have been closer.
00:04:23.000 I had so many failures last night.
00:04:25.000 would not have believed it.
00:04:26.000 Just gonna send it!
00:04:32.000 Called the auto place.
00:04:35.000 The mechanic's not here.
00:04:36.000 We don't know what's going on with your car.
00:04:38.000 Went to the hardware store to get a new door thing.
00:04:44.000 My lock's broken.
00:04:47.000 Got the wrong kind.
00:04:49.000 Came home, put in the battery for the smoke detector.
00:04:53.000 I had this new one and the old one in my hand.
00:04:55.000 I forgot which one was which.
00:04:57.000 I don't know.
00:04:59.000 And it's hard.
00:04:59.000 The smoke detector, it's hard.
00:05:00.000 That little test button doesn't seem to work.
00:05:02.000 Finally figured that out.
00:05:04.000 My son goes, I want to play Xbox in the basement.
00:05:08.000 This fucking Xbox.
00:05:10.000 Mike!
00:05:10.000 I want to go Dylann Roof on whoever fucking...
00:05:17.000 That's very nice.
00:05:18.000 Okay, put it in.
00:05:19.000 Oh, our sort of home entertainment system in the basement means that the little look cord, the thing that looks at you, it's like 15 feet away.
00:05:28.000 There's not enough cord.
00:05:29.000 Oh, okay.
00:05:30.000 I'll just buy an extension.
00:05:31.000 How much is that?
00:05:33.000 Oh, it's $250.
00:05:36.000 About the same price as the fucking console.
00:05:38.000 And the looky thing that sees you playing the games?
00:05:41.000 The Kinect.
00:05:42.000 The Kinect?
00:05:43.000 I had to buy that.
00:05:44.000 Okay, I'll buy that.
00:05:44.000 Yeah.
00:05:47.000 Now I'm like $500 down.
00:05:48.000 Now you need an adapter because it's a new Kinect thing.
00:05:53.000 No, but it's a new console, so the new Kinect works with it.
00:05:56.000 Okay, because I thought you were looking for an adapter at one point.
00:06:00.000 Yeah.
00:06:01.000 All the games on our old Xbox are garbage.
00:06:03.000 Yep.
00:06:05.000 I have to get a Microsoft account where I log in.
00:06:09.000 I don't use Microsoft.
00:06:11.000 So I have to log in.
00:06:12.000 Remember this big password?
00:06:13.000 It's always wrong.
00:06:14.000 No, that's not your password.
00:06:16.000 My other son was on it and it's lost and not working.
00:06:20.000 Go reset your password.
00:06:21.000 This is all taking like an hour.
00:06:23.000 I am done.
00:06:24.000 You go.
00:06:25.000 I'm done.
00:06:26.000 That's how I felt last night.
00:06:29.000 I'm finally getting Set up.
00:06:31.000 Get a new password, finally get my little boy.
00:06:33.000 And I've never, I don't care if my son plays games with guns and stuff, but my seven-year-old, he's still a sweet little angel who gets scared of like, I can't show him the movie Gremlins.
00:06:43.000 So I want to make sure he's not shooting.
00:06:45.000 Like, I see the big axe thing, and I go, that's okay.
00:06:47.000 So I sit with him while he plays.
00:06:50.000 And there's a shark and some cool stuff, and he's building an umbrella.
00:06:55.000 Okay, this is fine.
00:06:56.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:06:57.000 Nothing wrong with that yet.
00:06:59.000 And then some woman jumps out from behind a thing and with what looks exactly like an AR-15, he blows a hole through her chest.
00:07:11.000 And I go, all right, well, that's the end of that.
00:07:14.000 We will not be playing this game for maybe another four years.
00:07:18.000 Eight, nine, ten, eleven.
00:07:19.000 Yeah.
00:07:22.000 Fuck.
00:07:22.000 Fucking.
00:07:24.000 All right, I want to go on an education kick because I've worked very hard to create some very informative charts that track our history.
00:07:35.000 But before I show you that, I want you to know why I felt compelled to do that.
00:07:40.000 And it's basically rampant ignorance to the point of brutally embarrassing.
00:07:47.000 Let's start with the students don't know shit about history.
00:07:51.000 One four.
00:07:55.000 This compelled me to make these charts.
00:07:57.000 So scroll down to the video.
00:08:00.000 Yeah, there you go.
00:08:02.000 Skip the intro.
00:08:02.000 I hate intros.
00:08:06.000 I don't care.
00:08:07.000 I know.
00:08:07.000 I can read the title.
00:08:11.000 Let's find out.
00:08:12.000 All right, so the 4th of July is Just pause.
00:08:16.000 I fucking hate when I see a movie and it's like, uh, Warner Brothers, Pascal, Timber Bros.
00:08:26.000 Let's just get into it.
00:08:28.000 Like when the comedy specials have a big sketch before Kevin Hart did a whole James Bond movie before his thing.
00:08:35.000 Just come out onto the stage.
00:08:36.000 Hi, everyone.
00:08:37.000 Thanks for coming.
00:08:37.000 Did you ever notice how that's how Louis C.K. does it?
00:08:41.000 All right, so let's just start.
00:08:43.000 You know, there are a lot of protests that have been going on around the country.
00:08:46.000 What do you think the legacy of our country is?
00:08:47.000 Do you guys think we're a racist country?
00:08:50.000 There is a little bit of racism, but I feel like it's more like with the police.
00:08:53.000 You feel me?
00:08:54.000 America was built off of slavery and all of that.
00:08:58.000 Our country most definitely has a bad legacy.
00:09:00.000 I think it's pretty obvious with the president that we have right now.
00:09:03.000 I have to agree, but I mean, obviously there's people in America that aren't racist, but there is racism in this country.
00:09:09.000 White people take it for granted.
00:09:10.000 They think they're entitled.
00:09:12.000 You have to understand that teens are children.
00:09:17.000 Like that lifeguard who came and did the funny dance at me because I'm a white supremacist.
00:09:23.000 A 16-year-old is an 11-year-old.
00:09:25.000 There's no real difference there.
00:09:28.000 The fact that they fuck is disturbing.
00:09:30.000 Where's their accent from?
00:09:32.000 I think it's Southern California, so it's got a bit of Latino in it, if you feel me.
00:09:36.000 Everybody sounds like this is their second language.
00:09:39.000 Yeah, well, the Mexicans end up taking over the accent for the whole, even the white people.
00:09:44.000 But they're not.
00:09:44.000 Jeez.
00:09:45.000 Like, Black Lives Matter, all lives matter, but they take it to an extreme that they're like the supreme matter.
00:09:50.000 Eric Andrew's getting buffed back there in the blue hat.
00:09:52.000 Supreme race.
00:09:53.000 I mean, yeah.
00:09:54.000 You just missed a great point.
00:09:56.000 But they take it to an extreme that they're like the supreme race.
00:10:00.000 We do?
00:10:02.000 So Black Lives Matter, like all lives matter, but the white people take it to an extreme where they're like the supreme race.
00:10:07.000 What?
00:10:08.000 What?
00:10:10.000 I mean, yeah.
00:10:11.000 Racism has been a lot.
00:10:12.000 I mean, racism has been a long, has been around for quite a while.
00:10:16.000 Black people like basically make this country.
00:10:19.000 They like were slaves for a long time.
00:10:21.000 So with the 4th of July coming up, we're going to ask a couple questions.
00:10:23.000 My first question for you guys is, what does the 4th of July commemorate?
00:10:32.000 Day we declared independence from Great Britain.
00:10:34.000 Basically America's birthday, right?
00:10:36.000 I think independence.
00:10:38.000 What year did we declare our independence?
00:10:39.000 I'm going to be real with you.
00:10:40.000 I don't know.
00:10:41.000 19.
00:10:42.000 Thanks for being real.
00:10:43.000 19.
00:10:44.000 67, I'll say.
00:10:46.000 Close, a little off.
00:10:47.000 I don't know.
00:10:47.000 1859?
00:10:48.000 1964.
00:10:51.000 60.
00:10:51.000 You mean Jamaica was 69?
00:10:54.000 Is that what you're doing?
00:10:54.000 I'm going to give it a try?
00:10:55.000 Give you a try.
00:10:56.000 What do you think?
00:10:56.000 What year did we get our independence?
00:10:57.000 1970 something, 74, something like that.
00:11:01.000 1879?
00:11:02.000 Like the 1800s.
00:11:03.000 1864?
00:11:05.000 18?
00:11:06.000 Yes.
00:11:06.000 18.
00:11:07.000 It's farther back?
00:11:09.000 It's further back.
00:11:10.000 It's further back than the 1850s?
00:11:12.000 Before Serpico?
00:11:13.000 What?
00:11:13.000 Oh, so we were British, I guess, until 1979?
00:11:16.000 Wouldn't we all have British accents?
00:11:18.000 Oh, shit.
00:11:19.000 Hey, 1777?
00:11:21.000 Wait, what's going on in the background there?
00:11:23.000 There's a guy dancing.
00:11:24.000 What's he doing?
00:11:25.000 Is he just dancing alone?
00:11:26.000 Yeah.
00:11:27.000 Hey, 1777?
00:11:30.000 What?
00:11:31.000 76, 76.
00:11:32.000 So we're actually very close.
00:11:37.000 76, 76.
00:11:38.000 So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
00:11:40.000 We're teachers.
00:11:41.000 pause, were very...
00:11:46.000 We're obviously very two people to talk to.
00:11:49.000 76, 76.
00:11:50.000 So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
00:11:52.000 We're teachers.
00:11:53.000 We're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
00:11:56.000 They're teachers.
00:11:58.000 This is the focus.
00:12:00.000 We need to recalibrate ourselves.
00:12:03.000 College is gone.
00:12:04.000 Cut it loose, push it out to sea.
00:12:06.000 Forget college.
00:12:07.000 It's unsalvageable.
00:12:08.000 It's gone.
00:12:09.000 K through 12 is where the damage is done.
00:12:12.000 All of this Black Lives Matter shit comes from K through 12 brainwashing, and you're looking at the teachers responsible right now.
00:12:19.000 These women are why, these two women are why America is burning right now.
00:12:24.000 76, 76.
00:12:25.000 So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
00:12:28.000 We're teachers.
00:12:29.000 So I was a seventh grade civics teacher, government teacher, and she is an elementary school teacher, fourth grade, second grade, elementary school teacher.
00:12:37.000 What year did we get our independence?
00:12:40.000 17 something.
00:12:42.000 Who did we get our independence?
00:12:44.000 Good work, teachers.
00:12:45.000 Now, what are you conveying?
00:12:46.000 Hi, class.
00:12:47.000 Today we're going to talk about American independence, which was achieved on 17-something.
00:12:52.000 So that means it was in the 18th century.
00:12:55.000 It was sometime in the 1700s.
00:12:57.000 When?
00:12:58.000 I do not know.
00:13:00.000 You can look that up on your phones while I go get a coffee.
00:13:04.000 Goodbye.
00:13:05.000 Independence from.
00:13:06.000 What country?
00:13:07.000 I don't know.
00:13:08.000 I don't know this question.
00:13:08.000 The United States?
00:13:10.000 Do you guys know who we got our independence from?
00:13:12.000 I love that one.
00:13:13.000 We gained our independence from the United States and became America.
00:13:18.000 Independence from?
00:13:18.000 What country?
00:13:19.000 I don't know.
00:13:20.000 I don't know this question.
00:13:21.000 The United States?
00:13:22.000 Do you guys know who we got our independence from?
00:13:25.000 Shirts?
00:13:26.000 I don't know.
00:13:27.000 America?
00:13:28.000 Oh, Britain.
00:13:29.000 Great Britain or something like that.
00:13:31.000 England?
00:13:31.000 What was the name of the war that we were fighting at the time?
00:13:34.000 The Civil War?
00:13:35.000 The French Revolution, right?
00:13:36.000 The Civil War?
00:13:37.000 The Industrial Revolution, right?
00:13:39.000 The Industrial Revolution, where the machines rose up and stole the jobs of the men.
00:13:45.000 It was like the Terminator.
00:13:46.000 They fought us with smoke and steel.
00:13:49.000 The Civil War?
00:13:50.000 The French Revolution, right?
00:13:51.000 The Civil War?
00:13:52.000 The Industrial Revolution, right?
00:13:54.000 I think it's the Civil War.
00:13:55.000 I actually don't remember.
00:13:57.000 I know what it is.
00:13:57.000 I really just don't remember.
00:13:58.000 Try again.
00:13:59.000 World War II?
00:14:00.000 World War I. Yeah, I will also say the Civil War.
00:14:05.000 It did not start in 1700, right?
00:14:07.000 World War II.
00:14:07.000 World War II was in 1900, dog.
00:14:10.000 Odo, the Brit and the Brown War, yeah, that.
00:14:12.000 Further back.
00:14:13.000 World War I?
00:14:14.000 A little further back than that.
00:14:15.000 They can't even say World War I?
00:14:16.000 World War I?
00:14:17.000 World War.
00:14:18.000 Shining Live?
00:14:20.000 Britain space?
00:14:21.000 Brown War, yeah, that.
00:14:22.000 Further back.
00:14:23.000 World War I. World War I?
00:14:25.000 World War I?
00:14:26.000 Little Folson one?
00:14:28.000 Odo, the Brit and the Brown War, yeah, that.
00:14:31.000 The button, the Britain War.
00:14:33.000 This is how dinosaurs spoke.
00:14:36.000 The button, war.
00:14:37.000 He talks like Scooby-Doo.
00:14:38.000 He talks like a cartoon dog.
00:14:41.000 The war, what the war?
00:14:43.000 17, 17, world war, world, war, whoa, scoop.
00:14:47.000 What year did we get her independent scoop?
00:14:50.000 Further back.
00:14:53.000 A little further back than that.
00:14:54.000 The revolution.
00:14:55.000 The American Revolution.
00:14:56.000 You guys got a lot of them right.
00:14:57.000 A lot of people didn't get them right today.
00:14:59.000 Do you guys feel like you were taught enough about this in school?
00:15:01.000 Do you guys feel like you were taught about this in a classroom?
00:15:06.000 No.
00:15:07.000 They need better teachers.
00:15:08.000 The films are a fucking appendage now.
00:15:10.000 I feel like because since people think it's history, it doesn't apply to them now, but.
00:15:16.000 They need better teachers.
00:15:17.000 I feel like because since people think it's history, it doesn't apply to them now, but like history tends to repeat itself.
00:15:22.000 So it's definitely important that you do learn where you come from and to avoid certain things like that now.
00:15:26.000 Everybody should learn about our history.
00:15:27.000 It's our right to know what happened for our country and why we live the way we do and all of that stuff.
00:15:34.000 It's something that...
00:15:38.000 It is your right.
00:15:39.000 But why aren't you doing parking?
00:15:42.000 You don't have access to Google on your fucking phone that's part of your hand?
00:15:45.000 It's in our history books.
00:15:47.000 It's like your left hand.
00:15:48.000 You just flip through, you feel me?
00:15:50.000 Like, the teachers don't take time to really teach it.
00:15:53.000 Assuming you're of age.
00:15:56.000 Quizzes.
00:15:57.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:15:58.000 I just know that teachers do not want to teach it.
00:16:00.000 People are very ignorant.
00:16:01.000 They think that they know everything.
00:16:03.000 Society really doesn't care about a lot of things unless it's right in front of their face.
00:16:05.000 You get me?
00:16:06.000 So I personally know firsthand that we are not getting taught, specifically in social studies, the history that we need to know.
00:16:13.000 I actually don't teach what's in our curriculum.
00:16:16.000 I'm teaching children social studies.
00:16:19.000 This is the point of the video.
00:16:22.000 Everything is on this.
00:16:23.000 This is the focus on our show today.
00:16:25.000 I don't teach what's on the curriculum.
00:16:27.000 Now, the curriculum is already fucked.
00:16:29.000 The curriculum is already littered with PC.
00:16:31.000 It's all about, I see my daughter's schoolwork.
00:16:33.000 It's all about how racist we are.
00:16:34.000 We stole the land from the Indians.
00:16:36.000 The country's built on slavery.
00:16:37.000 White people are evil.
00:16:39.000 They think they're so great.
00:16:40.000 They think they're the supreme race.
00:16:44.000 But she thinks that curriculum is too right-wing.
00:16:47.000 She's got her own plan.
00:16:48.000 Let's hear what she teaches.
00:16:50.000 I actually don't teach what's in our curriculum.
00:16:53.000 I'm teaching children social studies that's not in our curriculum.
00:16:57.000 I'm teaching them things about how to be an anti-racist.
00:16:59.000 Instead of teaching those same three famous black people that we continue to teach, I taught them about protesting.
00:17:05.000 I taught them about Black Lives Matter.
00:17:07.000 I taught them about things that are happening currently so that they could make those connections.
00:17:11.000 And when they see it on the news, they're informed.
00:17:13.000 They're not ignoring the facts of our world right now.
00:17:18.000 There are facts that we're actually a racist country.
00:17:23.000 We're not a racist country.
00:17:25.000 No, we're not.
00:17:26.000 We're not a racist Captain Crunchry right now.
00:17:29.000 There are facts that we're actually a racist country.
00:17:35.000 That means they're four, and four-year-olds don't watch the fucking news, you fat slag.
00:17:42.000 Speaking of useless cunts, I sent you this.
00:17:45.000 It's not in the notes.
00:17:46.000 I sent it to you after.
00:17:47.000 This has gone viral.
00:17:48.000 I've watched the entire thing, which goes on and on and on and on.
00:17:51.000 But just to tell you, the TLDR, the Zoom video starts out.
00:17:57.000 We don't have this.
00:17:59.000 And he's got a black baby on his knee that he's bouncing like this.
00:18:03.000 He doesn't even say anything.
00:18:05.000 That's racist.
00:18:07.000 How is it racist?
00:18:08.000 Because you think you're not racist just because you know black people and you're around black people.
00:18:13.000 Proximity doesn't make you not racist.
00:18:14.000 He goes, wait, I never said I was or wasn't racist.
00:18:18.000 What are you talking about?
00:18:21.000 And by the way, if, like, I was in a Zoom meeting and I had two black babies, and I was like, hey, everyone, that is a joke.
00:18:30.000 And it is not a racist joke.
00:18:32.000 It's a racial joke.
00:18:34.000 So if a black guy was on there with two white babies, people go, what's going on there, Phoenix?
00:18:39.000 I don't know why I called him Phoenix, Felix.
00:18:42.000 You know?
00:18:43.000 Or if a 90-year-old woman has three babies in her arm and it's like, hi, guys, ready to start the meeting?
00:18:49.000 That's an age joke.
00:18:52.000 Like, what the fuck?
00:18:53.000 Who cares?
00:18:54.000 If it doesn't have a noose around his neck and you're like, party's over for this baby, then, and by the way, he gets her.
00:19:05.000 I don't know if this is on that clip, but he points out that her kids go to the whitest school in New York State.
00:19:12.000 The whitest school imaginable.
00:19:14.000 And this is always the case.
00:19:16.000 It's true of my neighborhood.
00:19:17.000 The Black Lives Matter signs are on the lawn, not one black person near me for miles.
00:19:22.000 Miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.
00:19:24.000 They're all in the neighboring town.
00:19:26.000 And if everyone was to take them at their word and say, oh, you want more diversity?
00:19:30.000 Okay, we're going to rezone the school and include some of the black kids.
00:19:35.000 No, no, no.
00:19:36.000 I just like the vibe of it.
00:19:38.000 I like it in theory, not in practice.
00:19:41.000 The more you crow about racial diversity, the whiter your kids' school is, especially women.
00:19:46.000 These are just facts, folks.
00:19:50.000 See a white man bouncing a brown baby on their lap and they don't know the context.
00:19:56.000 That is harmful.
00:19:57.000 And I'm not trying to be a martyr.
00:20:00.000 I'm trying to illustrate to you that you think I'm a fuck, excuse me, you think I'm a social justice warrior and you think I'm being patronizing and I'm getting pressure for not being enough of an advocate.
00:20:14.000 And I take that to heart and that hurts me.
00:20:17.000 And I have to learn to make how to be a better white person.
00:20:20.000 I would like to know before this meeting adjourns how having my friend's nephew on my lap was hurtful to people.
00:20:28.000 This so that's a guy commenting on it.
00:20:33.000 So scroll through him.
00:20:34.000 Recording from you don't need to see commentary on commentary.
00:20:38.000 Who likes to get her tits in the shot, huh?
00:20:40.000 Who James LaBrie from Dream Theater?
00:20:43.000 Excuse me.
00:20:45.000 Speak, please.
00:20:46.000 Can you hear me?
00:20:48.000 Yes, Tom, I can hear you.
00:20:50.000 Okay, thank you.
00:20:51.000 Robin, I would like to directly ask you a question.
00:20:55.000 You alleged racist behavior.
00:20:57.000 What exactly was that racist behavior about having my friend of five years over my house in my living room with her daughter, who is best friends with my daughter, and her nephew?
00:21:09.000 What is racist about that?
00:21:12.000 So it's the distinction between individual acts of proximity to color does not mean you're not racist.
00:21:21.000 Strong Thurmond.
00:21:23.000 This is these tropes, right?
00:21:26.000 And she's about to part of the proximity to colors does not mean you're not racist.
00:21:31.000 You can be racist and still be around black people and even have a black wife.
00:21:35.000 And then they pull out Strom Thurmond.
00:21:40.000 But does proximity, like if you are next to a black person, then you are racist.
00:21:44.000 No, I'm not racist because I'm near you and you're a bunch of races.
00:21:48.000 Oh.
00:21:49.000 But I think the fact that he had a black baby on his lap, that made him racist.
00:21:52.000 That's what she's saying.
00:21:53.000 No, she's saying that's the problem.
00:21:56.000 She's not identifying the question.
00:21:58.000 She's jumped ahead and said, but she's acting like he did a racist thing and then he said, look, there's a black baby here.
00:22:04.000 I'm not racist.
00:22:05.000 But the racist thing was having the black baby.
00:22:08.000 So she's defending something that she's like two steps ahead.
00:22:11.000 The defense is the offense.
00:22:12.000 You have to go back and say how the baby was racist.
00:22:17.000 What was racist about my behavior during that time?
00:22:22.000 Tom, when you said my living room is integrated right now as a response to discussion of systematic racism, no, it wasn't.
00:22:32.000 You had friends who that's not integration.
00:22:35.000 Integration is a system.
00:22:38.000 Tom, I wanted to tell you, I know that you believe that you called me racist.
00:22:44.000 You have a hundred people that told you, I am not calling you racist.
00:22:48.000 I think that was behavior.
00:22:51.000 Tom, I don't, you sue me.
00:22:53.000 Did you read Ibrahim Kendi?
00:22:55.000 Did you read how to be an anti-racist?
00:22:57.000 Well, this is another thing, too.
00:22:59.000 You have to do the work, which, by the way, comes from gangs.
00:23:03.000 Like bikers say to their recruits, you got to do the work before you can become in the fucking pagans or whatever.
00:23:10.000 So that came through gang culture.
00:23:12.000 Then that became through black academics.
00:23:13.000 And now they say do the work.
00:23:15.000 And the work is to read a bunch of bullshit books, not real books, but like white fragility.
00:23:20.000 Chelsea Handler posted a post of her with all her black books on Instagram.
00:23:26.000 And it's like the color purple, which was really worn out.
00:23:28.000 That one she, that one's been in the bath a few times.
00:23:32.000 And then it was like, why I only talk, I won't talk to white people about race anymore.
00:23:37.000 Why wouldn't you just go to her motherfucking Instagram, you retard?
00:23:41.000 Well, there's a couple reasons.
00:23:43.000 I've done that before, and then it could be their story, and then it's invisible forever.
00:23:46.000 No, it was not a story.
00:23:47.000 I would have told you that.
00:23:48.000 But would you Google image Chelsea Handler books?
00:23:53.000 Black books.
00:23:54.000 Oh my god, you're on the screen.
00:23:55.000 Because I thought it was like a thing.
00:23:56.000 There it is, top left.
00:23:57.000 Most recent one.
00:23:58.000 You fucktard.
00:24:01.000 Hello?
00:24:02.000 I do not see it.
00:24:04.000 You're on it now.
00:24:06.000 Yeah, are you looking at it?
00:24:10.000 Well, now it's yes.
00:24:13.000 So zoom in on that.
00:24:15.000 Zoom in a little more, please.
00:24:17.000 There we go.
00:24:18.000 We're almost there.
00:24:18.000 We're getting there.
00:24:21.000 White Rage.
00:24:23.000 Why they call me a feminist, a Black Lives Matter manifesto or something.
00:24:32.000 Color purple, of course.
00:24:36.000 Taneshi Coates, Between the World and Me.
00:24:39.000 A lot of like me search in these books.
00:24:42.000 Not a lot of data.
00:24:43.000 Like you read Pat Buchanan and it's just like an onslaught of charts and historical facts.
00:24:48.000 It's not a lot of like me.
00:24:51.000 I don't know anything about Pat Buchanan.
00:24:52.000 He never puts himself in his books.
00:24:54.000 Why I'm no longer talking to white people about race?
00:24:57.000 Negrophobia.
00:24:59.000 So that's what you're supposed to do.
00:25:01.000 That's the work.
00:25:03.000 Read fiction and back up my argument so you can use these tropes like Strom Thurman, which if she doesn't get to it, I'll get to it.
00:25:11.000 Make me racist for not reading that.
00:25:13.000 I'm not calling you racist.
00:25:15.000 I'm saying that no, I'm saying that was racist behavior.
00:25:20.000 We are all capable of racist behavior.
00:25:22.000 I am capable of racist behavior.
00:25:24.000 I owned up to it in this meeting right now when I apologize to Edward for minimizing his one vote.
00:25:33.000 All people are capable of racist behavior.
00:25:36.000 And we should apologize when we offend people of color.
00:25:42.000 If it's on your neck, you do not need to hold it near your mouth.
00:25:46.000 In fact, it's making your audio blow out.
00:25:49.000 When they get upset, when they say this is a harmful space, when they log out of a meeting immediately because they see white people exhibiting their power over people of color.
00:26:01.000 So it's not my job to convince you.
00:26:04.000 It's all tropes.
00:26:06.000 Even read a book about white fragility or Ibrahim Kendi.
00:26:11.000 I can't sit here in a working business meeting and educate you about the distinction between interpersonal racism and that.
00:26:31.000 Then you had a smirk and a grin on your face when you pulled that child in.
00:26:37.000 And then three minutes later, you in a joking tone said, oh my God, my living room's integrated right now.
00:26:47.000 In a joking tone, as if.
00:26:50.000 As if.
00:26:51.000 Lady, I don't know how much Coke you have to do for your septum to go all the way into another complete nostril.
00:26:57.000 It's supposed to be in the middle.
00:26:59.000 Oh, ew, whoa.
00:27:01.000 Her septum is in the middle of her left nostril.
00:27:06.000 First, slavery and then segregation.
00:27:08.000 Look, let's just stop.
00:27:09.000 If you're going to do Coke, distribute it evenly across both nostrils.
00:27:13.000 If you're doing bumps, you want to go.
00:27:15.000 And then the second bump goes in a completely different nostril.
00:27:19.000 You're clearly only putting Coke in one nostril and it's pushed your septum out of fear to the other side of your nose.
00:27:26.000 You're doing it wrong.
00:27:28.000 And you're too old to be doing Coke.
00:27:30.000 You're going to have a heart attack.
00:27:31.000 Now you look like John Malkovich.
00:27:33.000 We're nothing and would go poof because you happened to have a black friend.
00:27:38.000 It was so belittling.
00:27:40.000 It was so snide.
00:27:43.000 Perhaps you didn't intend it to be racist, and that does not matter.
00:27:47.000 Do you know what the job is?
00:27:48.000 Like what companies they work for?
00:27:50.000 Oh, there's all teachers.
00:27:51.000 Actually.
00:27:52.000 And imagine that blacks had to go through that kind of scrutiny.
00:27:55.000 Like he's a white guy and he's an academic, so they can just, he's a perfect target.
00:28:00.000 And they can use all their books and all their tropes and all their little sayings against him.
00:28:04.000 But imagine there was a black teacher who came on and there was a white woman in the frame and he just, it was his white girlfriend and her ask him in a frame.
00:28:11.000 He's like, hey, get this out of here, honk, honk.
00:28:14.000 They would be going, okay, can we focus a little bit, please, Derek?
00:28:19.000 All right, now let's get started.
00:28:21.000 I know that was funny.
00:28:22.000 That was kind of adorable.
00:28:24.000 But we need to get started.
00:28:26.000 Or if a black guy had a white baby and he said, look, my living room is integrated.
00:28:30.000 They go, it certainly is.
00:28:32.000 It certainly is.
00:28:34.000 It is something for which.
00:28:36.000 Now, that's what I call hands-on.
00:28:38.000 Yeah, it would be great.
00:28:40.000 Oh, my God.
00:28:41.000 You need to look deep inside and say, wow, I've heard that.
00:28:46.000 You know what this smells of?
00:28:48.000 It's like big sisters berating their brothers.
00:28:51.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:28:52.000 People, whether you intended to or not, you did.
00:28:56.000 And honestly, you need to take a moment and a deep breath and think about what you are doing and how you are sitting on this town.
00:29:09.000 Siskin told my real estate agent that she needs to take a moment and reflect on what she's done and she should apologize to my community and also donate $3,000 to the ACLU.
00:29:21.000 There's a lot of like, No.
00:29:25.000 It's not a joke.
00:29:27.000 There's a lot of sort of religious behavior here.
00:29:31.000 Take a moment and pray to my God.
00:29:35.000 Read my Bible.
00:29:36.000 Read my Taneshi Coates Bible.
00:29:39.000 Read the book.
00:29:40.000 The book, the Bible.
00:29:42.000 Pray to my gods.
00:29:44.000 And their gods, by the way, are pagan gods.
00:29:46.000 We're drifting back into a matriarchy.
00:29:48.000 What do matriarchies do?
00:29:50.000 What do pagans do?
00:29:51.000 What did the Druids do?
00:29:52.000 They sacrificed children and virgins.
00:29:55.000 And what do we do?
00:29:56.000 We've got our girls being hurled in front of cars on the highway.
00:29:59.000 They're on OnlyFans, slutting themselves out.
00:30:01.000 They're prostitutes.
00:30:03.000 They're fucking going on slut walks.
00:30:05.000 They're not getting married.
00:30:06.000 There are colostomy bags for some guys come at the age of 55, waiting for a booty call.
00:30:13.000 They are fucking, and our children are drag queen story hours.
00:30:16.000 Our children are having, giving hormones.
00:30:19.000 We're giving them speed for attention deficit disorder.
00:30:23.000 We're giving them hormones to make them grow tits so they don't go through puberty.
00:30:26.000 So they're permanently infertile.
00:30:29.000 Those hormones they give kids who are trans kids make them infertile.
00:30:35.000 We're sacrificing babies.
00:30:36.000 Look at Planned Parenthood.
00:30:38.000 What was it?
00:30:39.000 60 million black babies?
00:30:41.000 I can't be right.
00:30:42.000 60,000?
00:30:43.000 40,000 a year?
00:30:44.000 I can't remember the numbers.
00:30:45.000 But that's genocide.
00:30:50.000 That's sacrificing babies to the gods of political correctness.
00:30:56.000 247 black babies every day.
00:31:02.000 That's a lot.
00:31:05.000 What if they were raped?
00:31:06.000 Yeah, 1% of these pregnancies are rape related.
00:31:11.000 Anyway, go back to that.
00:31:13.000 259,000 black Americans go by abortion nature every year, right?
00:31:19.000 So, how long has this been going on?
00:31:21.000 Probably since the 70s?
00:31:23.000 Let's say 1980?
00:31:25.000 That's 40 years.
00:31:26.000 40 times 250,000?
00:31:29.000 That's a lot.
00:31:31.000 Here, let them talk and I'll do that math.
00:31:32.000 I cannot imagine.
00:31:34.000 I cannot imagine that if we had been in a school setting, that you might have brought some rightboard.
00:31:41.000 The fact is, there are plenty of times that we don't get to talk or respond to people in the moment.
00:31:47.000 I'm actually getting ahead of you.
00:31:48.000 And the fact is, anyway, the first one with the great tits was talking about Strom Thurmond.
00:31:53.000 And that's a go-to story for them.
00:31:56.000 And it doesn't seem to be in that clip, but Strom Thurmond was seen as a major racist because he opposed the Civil Rights Act.
00:32:05.000 He opposed desegregation of America.
00:32:08.000 And he got his maid pregnant, who was black and had a black kid.
00:32:13.000 He was great to the kid, paid for all her college, paid for everything.
00:32:17.000 Let me see those bazooms.
00:32:19.000 Distracted by boobs.
00:32:21.000 Well, we have no idea what they're like, but they're not pancakes.
00:32:25.000 And if they're droopers, I'm still in.
00:32:27.000 Why did you just have such great tits?
00:32:30.000 I do not understand it.
00:32:31.000 He's got broad shoulders, though.
00:32:33.000 Well, that's just the ankle.
00:32:35.000 But those look like some real floppers.
00:32:39.000 And yeah, he got her pregnant, stuck by the kid, made sure the kid was cared for, paid for the kid's education.
00:32:46.000 So their thing is: see, isn't it proof that you can hate blacks and still be near them and fuck them and have a kid with them and love them?
00:32:56.000 So then they go to, if you have a black wife, you can still be racist.
00:32:59.000 They use it against me because they go, no, no, no, the fact that he has an Indian wife, he's still a white supremacist.
00:33:04.000 Really?
00:33:04.000 Why did I sully my race with an Indian?
00:33:09.000 But Strom Thurman was against segregation.
00:33:12.000 I mean, sorry, desegregation.
00:33:15.000 Desegregation, I would say, is becoming a minority position.
00:33:21.000 Segregation is the norm in America, voluntary segregation.
00:33:25.000 You have black neighborhoods that want to be black.
00:33:28.000 They don't want white people in their neighborhoods.
00:33:30.000 Go, do me a favor.
00:33:32.000 Go to East New York.
00:33:33.000 Go to Harlem.
00:33:34.000 Go to Bushwick with a newspaper with some rentals circled with a red marker.
00:33:41.000 And go up and start looking for apartments.
00:33:43.000 Black people come up to you on the street.
00:33:45.000 I've seen it happen.
00:33:47.000 This was like 2000, but my buddy was looking for an apartment in Bushwick.
00:33:50.000 I don't know why.
00:33:50.000 And some woman's on a phone, and she stops, she gets out of the phone with and she goes, oh, I know you ain't moving to this neighborhood.
00:33:58.000 They bitch about Whole Foods moving in.
00:34:01.000 And they want to have the chop was segregated.
00:34:04.000 They have separate proms.
00:34:07.000 And there's an argument for it.
00:34:08.000 I said this on the show a while ago, but in Kansas City, before Jackie Robinson joined the MLB, they had their own Negro League.
00:34:15.000 And it thrived.
00:34:16.000 The community thrived.
00:34:17.000 They would go see games there.
00:34:18.000 They were great games.
00:34:19.000 And everyone dressed up.
00:34:20.000 And you'd see your dentist, and you'd see your black dentist, your black doctor.
00:34:24.000 You'd see the policeman there.
00:34:26.000 Everyone from the community would get together.
00:34:27.000 It was almost like a church.
00:34:30.000 And then desegregation happened in baseball.
00:34:33.000 They got Jockey Robinson.
00:34:34.000 And then all the good players started going to the MLB.
00:34:37.000 So the game started sucking.
00:34:38.000 The baseball diamond, people just stopped going to games.
00:34:41.000 The diamond literally fell apart.
00:34:44.000 The stands grew filled with weeds.
00:34:46.000 And the community became separate, disparate, non-cohesive.
00:34:51.000 And that was from desegregation.
00:34:53.000 Why do you think all these white people live in white neighborhoods and demand their schools are all white?
00:34:58.000 Why do they freak out when they start seeing blacks at the local beach and lock it up with a chain while saying Black Lives Matter and hate has no home here?
00:35:07.000 Why do you think they have a heart attack if you desegregate the schools?
00:35:10.000 Why do you think that woman that you just saw talking about Strom Thurmond, just she has the same views as Strom Thurmond.
00:35:18.000 Her children go to an all-white school in an all-white district.
00:35:22.000 She's practicing segregation.
00:35:24.000 Segregation is mainstream.
00:35:26.000 If your school has a black prom, then your school is practicing segregation.
00:35:31.000 Now, it's voluntary, and in the past it was involuntary.
00:35:36.000 Is that such a big distinction?
00:35:38.000 It's still happening.
00:35:42.000 So yeah, there's not, Strom Thurmond said I'm not racist.
00:35:46.000 He was just making an argument that everyone is making silently.
00:35:49.000 That's why I called a new America silent apartheid, because we are separated.
00:35:55.000 And I'll show you why.
00:35:56.000 Check out one, two.
00:35:59.000 This is fucking insane.
00:36:01.000 Go to the video.
00:36:04.000 Uh.
00:36:07.000 Hey, what's going on now?
00:36:12.000 Is that the right one?
00:36:14.000 Let me click it.
00:36:18.000 I thought there was a bunch of videos in there.
00:36:20.000 Keep scrolling down.
00:36:22.000 And that's over?
00:36:23.000 Maybe I sent you the wrong one.
00:36:27.000 BLM harasses Christians attending church.
00:36:30.000 Yeah.
00:36:31.000 So this couple's going to church.
00:36:36.000 And a bunch of families, a bunch of white Christians are going to church, and Black Lives Matter, including white people, are screaming at them.
00:36:44.000 Oh, is Facebook taking it down?
00:36:46.000 Damn.
00:36:47.000 Shiza beans.
00:36:50.000 How convenient, huh?
00:36:52.000 Is it offensive to you?
00:36:53.000 This video?
00:36:54.000 Is that why you took it down?
00:36:56.000 Okay, I'll tell you what happened.
00:36:57.000 So this poor woman's bringing, and then they're yelling, Black Lives Matter, at these white people going to a Christian church.
00:37:01.000 The first video was black people had stormed Black Lives Matter.
00:37:01.000 What?
00:37:05.000 So when I say Black Lives Matter, I mean 80% Black people, 20% white people in this particular case.
00:37:11.000 Go into a church and they're screaming, Black Lives Matter.
00:37:13.000 And then I guess they're getting kicked out because they were there to disrupt it.
00:37:16.000 And this guy's handing them this card like, Jesus loves you.
00:37:19.000 And they're like, Jesus don't fucking love me, motherfucker.
00:37:21.000 And then in this other video, these people are walking up to church and one of the black guys yells out, why she got a baby with her?
00:37:27.000 Why are you taking a baby to church?
00:37:30.000 Have you never been to church?
00:37:32.000 In fact, I kind of agree with them because I fucking hate hearing babies cry in church.
00:37:38.000 So kids, I hate kids in church.
00:37:40.000 It's so fucking loud.
00:37:41.000 They totally disrupt the whole thing.
00:37:43.000 And I'm trying to concentrate.
00:37:44.000 It's not an easy book to understand.
00:37:46.000 So they're reading from the Bible.
00:37:47.000 I'm like near the front going, it's like when I took algebra in university and it was so fucking hard.
00:37:52.000 Oh, good.
00:37:52.000 So there's the first video I talked about.
00:37:54.000 Black Lives Matter!
00:38:11.000 Back up.
00:38:11.000 Look at that.
00:38:13.000 Back up.
00:38:14.000 You don't have to do that, boy.
00:38:15.000 You crazy?
00:38:17.000 I mean, a fight needs to break out, no?
00:38:21.000 People just need to fight more, I think.
00:38:28.000 Like, someone comes into my church and tries to fuck up.
00:38:33.000 That's like coming into your home.
00:38:38.000 You're telling me not to worship God?
00:38:41.000 So that's a good one, but do you have the other one?
00:38:45.000 The other one's great.
00:38:46.000 Because he says, why are you bringing a baby to church?
00:38:48.000 And then they start going, save those kids.
00:38:51.000 Save those kids.
00:38:52.000 And then the guys, the dads, make a wall at the base of the stairs.
00:38:55.000 And they have the megaphones right in their face.
00:38:59.000 Save those kids.
00:39:00.000 Say, I would just fucking.
00:39:05.000 That's doing your eardrums damage.
00:39:07.000 Here it is.
00:39:09.000 They got babies with him.
00:39:11.000 He's never been to church.
00:39:12.000 Why are you bringing a baby into a church that wraps the car?
00:39:15.000 You are missing your daughter.
00:39:17.000 Look, just pause.
00:39:18.000 You're seeing racial hatred right there that we haven't seen since 1930s America, where you would see the black family and the white people going, all of this is revenge for Birmingham, Alabama.
00:39:32.000 That's what we're seeing now.
00:39:33.000 No justice.
00:39:34.000 It's not justice, it's revenge.
00:39:38.000 And it's racism.
00:39:39.000 I don't believe in revenge.
00:39:42.000 Good morning.
00:39:43.000 Let's see this.
00:39:47.000 Join our religion.
00:39:54.000 look at him getting into his face Just a word to the wise white guys, don't have your hands behind your back if something's going to go down.
00:40:06.000 You want your hands up here by your tits.
00:40:10.000 No, not behind.
00:40:11.000 Up here.
00:40:12.000 And you want to keep space.
00:40:14.000 Say, get back, get back from me.
00:40:15.000 Look at this.
00:40:16.000 Save those kids.
00:40:21.000 Just push those two megaphones into their teeth.
00:40:26.000 This is not free speech.
00:40:28.000 when you say speech harms other people.
00:40:31.000 Yeah, you're doing permanent damage to his ears.
00:40:39.000 I mean, come on.
00:40:44.000 I zoned out.
00:40:45.000 It's radical to bring a baby to a Christian church.
00:40:50.000 This is getting to be like South Africa.
00:40:54.000 Right before all these white farmers started getting killed.
00:40:57.000 This is like right around the end of apartheid.
00:41:00.000 You're not supposed to block the church entrance.
00:41:02.000 Hey, you are the church entrance.
00:41:04.000 You're the church entrance.
00:41:08.000 You can step to your left and your right door.
00:41:10.000 And yes, the end of apartheid is a good thing, dummies.
00:41:13.000 But what followed was a lot of riots and a lot of race-based violence.
00:41:17.000 Black on white.
00:41:18.000 Okay, last thing before we take a history lesson.
00:41:23.000 You got Mark Zuckerberg's sister wrote a poem that also sums up the poisonous educational system and what it does.
00:41:31.000 Revenge.
00:41:33.000 What did I just say?
00:41:35.000 So blow that up.
00:41:39.000 She's got some non-Zuckerbergian name.
00:41:41.000 I can't see it.
00:41:44.000 What's her name again?
00:41:44.000 It's like Diaz.
00:41:46.000 Move up.
00:41:48.000 Let's see.
00:41:49.000 Maybe go to the bottom.
00:41:50.000 Fucking for it.
00:41:51.000 Eck Poetry.
00:41:54.000 ECC.
00:41:55.000 Huh.
00:41:57.000 ECC poetry.
00:41:58.000 So she's hit her name.
00:41:59.000 But anyway, this is Mark Zuckerberg's sister.
00:42:01.000 You cut from the same cloth.
00:42:02.000 Revenge.
00:42:03.000 Since you mention it, I think I will start that race war.
00:42:06.000 I could have swung either way.
00:42:08.000 Why is there a question mark there?
00:42:10.000 I could have swung either way, but now I'm definitely spending the next four years converting your daughters to lesbianism.
00:42:16.000 I'm going to eat all your guns, swallow them, lock, stock, and barrel, and spit bullet casings onto the dinner table.
00:42:22.000 You know, fucking, David Cross's wife said the same thing to me.
00:42:26.000 She thinks I'm a homophobe.
00:42:28.000 And so she thinks me, my kids becoming gay is some sort of revenge.
00:42:32.000 So she goes, oh, she's going to be a fucking dyke, and I'm going to turn her out.
00:42:36.000 And then she goes like this.
00:42:40.000 And I was like, Amber, this is the closest I've ever come to hitting a woman.
00:42:44.000 I think we're done here.
00:42:46.000 We didn't really speak since.
00:42:48.000 Go back.
00:42:50.000 Did you see her Amber Tamlin's picture on Instagram?
00:42:53.000 Where she put her up self-nude?
00:42:55.000 Kind of.
00:42:56.000 It's mostly just like underarm stuff.
00:42:58.000 Yeah, I saw it.
00:42:59.000 It's so boring and sad.
00:43:00.000 It's pretty bad.
00:43:01.000 Don't show me.
00:43:02.000 All right.
00:43:03.000 I'll give birth to an army of mixed-race babies.
00:43:07.000 This is sort of like that not fucking around guy, the coalition of not giving a fuck, where they're there to fight this army of Nazis and they're like not there.
00:43:17.000 Or you think that you giving birth to mixed-race babies drives me crazy?
00:43:21.000 Oh no!
00:43:24.000 Is it Randy Zuckerberg?
00:43:26.000 She has a different last name, but is that her first name, Randy?
00:43:29.000 No.
00:43:30.000 Okay.
00:43:30.000 I'll keep looking.
00:43:31.000 I'll give birth with fathers from every continent and genders to outnumber the stars.
00:43:36.000 My legion of multiracial babies will be intersectional as fuck, and your swastikas will not be enough to save you.
00:43:44.000 Maybe 3% of white people marry outside of their race.
00:43:48.000 There's this myth that there's the Browning of America, but it's not backed up with data.
00:43:53.000 All those people you see in the New York Times talking about the Browning of America, they're married to white people.
00:43:58.000 Those are Jewish people married to Jews.
00:44:00.000 Those are white people married to whites.
00:44:04.000 Because real talk, you didn't stop the future from coming.
00:44:07.000 You just delayed our coronation.
00:44:09.000 We have the same deviant haircuts we had yesterday.
00:44:11.000 We are still getting gay married like nobody's business because it's still nobody's business.
00:44:17.000 That's kind of a good line.
00:44:19.000 There's a Muslim kid in Kansas who has already written the schematic for the robot that will steal your job in manufacturing.
00:44:25.000 Well, it's an illegal alien's job he's stealing, but okay.
00:44:28.000 And that robot will also be gay.
00:44:31.000 No, not gay robots.
00:44:35.000 So get used to it.
00:44:36.000 Get used to gay robots?
00:44:38.000 Okay, give me a second.
00:44:40.000 All right.
00:44:41.000 Is this robots fucking each other and their little robot ass?
00:44:45.000 Okay.
00:44:46.000 We didn't manifest the mountain by speaking its name.
00:44:49.000 The buildings here are not on your side just because you make them spray-painted accomplices.
00:44:53.000 These walls do not have genders, and they all think you suck.
00:44:57.000 Walls hate me?
00:44:59.000 I just think you're uncomfortable because the walls have ears and they're right here.
00:45:04.000 There's four of them right here, man.
00:45:07.000 Do you guys think I suck?
00:45:10.000 No, dude.
00:45:12.000 We're not gay either.
00:45:13.000 She's a bitch.
00:45:14.000 Phew.
00:45:18.000 Even the earth found common cods with us, the way you trample us both.
00:45:23.000 There's this thing with our daughters now where these women, they have this like, oh yeah, motherfucker.
00:45:29.000 I'm going to slit your throat, throat, and drink the blood.
00:45:32.000 They sound like 11-year-old boy metalheads.
00:45:35.000 I'm going to worship Satan and eat all the guns and spit out the bullets.
00:45:42.000 Like Enrique Tario, the chairman of the Prowboys, said, We're coming to chop and we're going to fuck everyone up or something.
00:45:48.000 And some chick gets on there and she's like, Oh, yeah, I hope you do, bitch boy.
00:45:53.000 I will fuck you up.
00:45:55.000 And he's like, Okay, well, we'll be there.
00:45:58.000 She goes, I'm at the fucking center for blah, blah, blah.
00:46:00.000 She names where she works or something.
00:46:02.000 And then you see her, and she's like a fat five who's just like, not with facial tattoos and brass knuckles, just like your sister's friend in a robe, like, because he called her a cow.
00:46:15.000 And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm a real cow.
00:46:17.000 And you're like, yeah, you kind of are.
00:46:19.000 Like, their egos are huge, too.
00:46:21.000 You ever see that picture of that ugly bald feminist with purple hair?
00:46:24.000 And it says, you're not prettier than me, bitch.
00:46:27.000 You're just thinner.
00:46:29.000 And that's on her t-shirt.
00:46:30.000 And you're looking at her going, unless this woman is a Basset Hound, then yeah, she's prettier than you.
00:46:38.000 You're a two.
00:46:41.000 I'm not going to find it.
00:46:42.000 You're not going to find it.
00:46:43.000 Well, if you weren't a retard, you would look up, you're not prettier than me, just thinner.
00:46:48.000 I did.
00:46:49.000 And then also purple hair.
00:46:50.000 No, don't put purple hair in there.
00:46:52.000 That fucks the whole thing up.
00:46:56.000 Just so she didn't put in that.
00:46:57.000 You put in purple hair.
00:46:59.000 You're not prettier than me.
00:47:02.000 Third picture.
00:47:02.000 There she is.
00:47:05.000 Why do I have to tell you how to do this?
00:47:07.000 And her hair is blue.
00:47:08.000 Apparently, I was wrong.
00:47:09.000 No, honey.
00:47:10.000 You're not prettier than me.
00:47:13.000 I don't want to see this, honey.
00:47:14.000 She must look like the elephant man.
00:47:17.000 Look at her.
00:47:18.000 Look at her face.
00:47:21.000 She looks like my accountant.
00:47:25.000 All right, let's just go back to the poem.
00:47:27.000 I'm enjoying it.
00:47:28.000 Oh, yeah, there'll be signs and rainbow-colored drum circles and folks arguing ideology until even I want to punch them, but I won't because they're my family in that blood of the covenant sense.
00:47:37.000 If you've never loved someone like that, you cannot outwaltz us.
00:47:40.000 We have all the good dancers anyway.
00:47:42.000 Yeah, that's my goal to outwaltz you.
00:47:46.000 I'll confess, I don't know if I'm alive right now.
00:47:48.000 I haven't heard my heartbeat in days.
00:47:51.000 I keep holding my breath for the moment the plane goes down and I have to save enough oxygen to get my friends through.
00:47:56.000 What?
00:47:57.000 Where do you save the oxygen?
00:47:58.000 In your tits?
00:47:59.000 And then you breastfeed them oxygen?
00:48:02.000 But I finally found the argument against suicide and it's us.
00:48:05.000 So you're clearly very depressed.
00:48:07.000 You live, their lives are depressing.
00:48:10.000 We're the effigies that haunt America's nights harder the longer they spend burning us.
00:48:14.000 We are scaring the shit out of people by spreading, by refusing to die.
00:48:19.000 What are we but a fire?
00:48:20.000 We know everything we do is so the kids after us will be able to follow.
00:48:24.000 You know what's weird?
00:48:25.000 She's kind of a good writer.
00:48:27.000 Like the iambic pentameter, the pace here is kind of pleasing to read.
00:48:34.000 It's got a good rhythm to it.
00:48:36.000 Of course I'm terrified.
00:48:38.000 Of course I'm a shroud.
00:48:38.000 And of course it's not fair.
00:48:40.000 But rest assured, anxious America, you brought your fists to a glitter fight.
00:48:44.000 This is a taco truck rally and all you have is coleslaw.
00:48:48.000 You cannot deport our minds.
00:48:50.000 We won't hold funerals for our potential.
00:48:53.000 We have always been what makes America great.
00:48:57.000 Wow.
00:49:01.000 Let's just take a look at what made America great.
00:49:04.000 What made America great was first Western civilization.
00:49:08.000 Britain planted the seeds for America.
00:49:11.000 And then we said, bye, Dad, I'm moving out of the house.
00:49:14.000 And we started America.
00:49:15.000 Let's have a brief look, shall we, at the history of Western civilization and, of course, the history of America.
00:49:21.000 Let's have a brief look.
00:49:27.000 Here, I made a chart.
00:49:28.000 I made a chart of the history of Western civilization.
00:49:31.000 This is everything you need to know.
00:49:32.000 And it starts when Jesus was, well, actually, no, it starts with the Roman Empire.
00:49:39.000 And it goes to 2020.
00:49:40.000 And let's be clear here.
00:49:42.000 A lot of shit doesn't matter.
00:49:43.000 Okay?
00:49:44.000 I don't care about this.
00:49:46.000 I don't care.
00:49:48.000 The Iron Age, all this BC shit, the Bronze Age, and they're discovering steel and stuff.
00:49:54.000 I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere, right?
00:49:56.000 So we're not going to learn anything before modern Western civilization.
00:50:01.000 And I'm afraid we was Kangs.
00:50:03.000 That goes for you, Egypt.
00:50:05.000 I don't know how to tell you that Cleopatra was Greek and everyone was basically olive skin.
00:50:11.000 They were not black.
00:50:12.000 Yes, Tutankhamun had blacks on his casket.
00:50:15.000 Those were slaves.
00:50:16.000 You send the slaves with the dead so they'll have slaves when they go there.
00:50:21.000 Birth of Judaism, that sounds nice and everything.
00:50:24.000 That's not important to me.
00:50:26.000 What we care about is Western Civ, and that involves plenty of Judaism, by the way.
00:50:31.000 But we're going to start with the Roman Empire.
00:50:33.000 Julius Caesar, first emperor of Rome, 27 BC.
00:50:38.000 And then Jesus was born.
00:50:40.000 What a cool birthday.
00:50:42.000 12250.
00:50:45.000 Right?
00:50:46.000 He was the first guy in the calendar.
00:50:51.000 But he only lived for 30 years.
00:50:53.000 So these lines should basically be touching.
00:50:55.000 And then what do we have?
00:50:58.000 Maybe 300 years of Roman conquering, and then they all die.
00:51:04.000 I think they got up to a bunch of faggotry.
00:51:06.000 They were sucking each other's dicks and screwing kids and stuff.
00:51:10.000 And that's usually the beginning of the end.
00:51:12.000 Maybe that's why we're here now.
00:51:14.000 Maybe this is the fall of the Western Empire.
00:51:17.000 Like, what are we doing?
00:51:18.000 We're grooming kids.
00:51:20.000 Huff Poe and all these cat blogs are defending pedophilia.
00:51:24.000 We're having drag queen story hour.
00:51:27.000 I think 286 AD was the first drag queen story hour where some homo got up in a cave like Plato and taught everyone that boys are sexy.
00:51:39.000 And the next thing you know, the world collapses.
00:51:41.000 Once you can get rid of the family, that's a really great way to destroy one.
00:51:45.000 Now, not a lot happened here.
00:51:48.000 Not a lot of stuff.
00:51:50.000 In fact, I think we should make another chart.
00:51:53.000 That's foreshadowing, I secretly did, of like just American history.
00:51:58.000 But I was shocked when I made this chart how long the Middle Ages were.
00:52:02.000 Look at that shit.
00:52:03.000 A thousand years.
00:52:04.000 Medieval period, Middle Ages, Dark Ages, all mean the same thing.
00:52:09.000 The Viking Age, that's why we have Scotland, right?
00:52:12.000 They did a lot of conquering.
00:52:13.000 Is there anything down there that I'm missing?
00:52:19.000 Oh, yeah, the British monarchy.
00:52:21.000 Kings and queens started here.
00:52:22.000 I think they came up from France and they started taking over.
00:52:26.000 They had Scotland first.
00:52:27.000 I guess the Vikings and the kings and queens got along.
00:52:32.000 And then England was born.
00:52:35.000 British monarchy.
00:52:36.000 I would say the British monarchy ended with our present queen, Queen Elizabeth.
00:52:40.000 Go to the end of that.
00:52:42.000 Should I get out of the way here?
00:52:44.000 Yeah.
00:52:44.000 She was started in 52.
00:52:46.000 And that's pretty much the end of the monarchy, right?
00:52:49.000 That's the end of them having any power.
00:52:50.000 She's still the head of Canada, if you look on Wikipedia, but what's she going to do?
00:52:54.000 Say you're not allowed to send it?
00:52:56.000 What do you think would happen if the queen said, don't send it anymore?
00:53:00.000 I think that Canada would say, just gonna send it.
00:53:06.000 I also sort of made this chart because I was curious about Braveheart and when he was.
00:53:11.000 So that was the 1300s, which is, of course, the 14th century.
00:53:15.000 But look at this.
00:53:16.000 The wars with England, the Anglo-Scottish War started in 1300.
00:53:20.000 Braveheart peaced out five years in.
00:53:23.000 That movie, Braveheart, sounded like it was this entire duration.
00:53:28.000 But this was just, he just got the ball rolling.
00:53:32.000 He just started them sending it, eh?
00:53:34.000 By the way, history teachers, it really helps the kids learn if you say history in a cool way.
00:53:39.000 Like you be a hoser and you say they're just going to send it, use cool analogies, say they really dunked on England, send them homeward to think again, as is in the Scottish anthem.
00:53:50.000 Or say fuck.
00:53:51.000 Say, yeah, so Scotland was like, fuck you, to England.
00:53:55.000 And then the kids will listen more.
00:53:57.000 Renaissance period, fascinating time.
00:53:59.000 That would be when Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.
00:54:02.000 No, I'm not giving that to the stupid Egyptians.
00:54:05.000 That was 300 years.
00:54:06.000 This seems like a pretty good time.
00:54:09.000 Although, no, not for Britain.
00:54:11.000 I guess it was a pretty good time in Europe.
00:54:13.000 But Britain was having the Anglo-Scottish Wars.
00:54:16.000 I was surprised the bubonic plague was so short.
00:54:19.000 But it killed like, I think, 200 million people.
00:54:23.000 And that was 1346.
00:54:25.000 Then we had this cool thing, speaking of slaves in the 14th century, around when Braveheart was rebelling against the English, we had Watt Tyler, a white slave, rebel against the English lords and start a fucking riot.
00:54:38.000 That's back when riots were cool.
00:54:40.000 We lost Da Vinci around here.
00:54:41.000 Am I missing anything else down there?
00:54:44.000 That's just the British monarchy, right?
00:54:45.000 All right, so let's go up here.
00:54:47.000 And this is when things start getting exciting.
00:54:51.000 The 15th century.
00:54:52.000 The 14th century, it just seemed like people were trying to establish stuff, you know?
00:54:57.000 It's in the 15th century we start having things exciting like Joan of Arc in the Hundred Years' War with the English versus the French.
00:55:07.000 Remember, Scotland sided with the French to fight England.
00:55:10.000 Really did not get along.
00:55:12.000 Then you have Columbus going to the Caribbean.
00:55:14.000 No, he did not go to America.
00:55:15.000 He came to the Caribbean.
00:55:17.000 Yes, he did chop off a bunch of Indians' hands.
00:55:19.000 That was the vocabulary of the time back then.
00:55:21.000 They were chopping off hands too, eating each other, sacrificing babies.
00:55:25.000 What are you supposed to do?
00:55:26.000 Give them a fine?
00:55:27.000 Take away their passports?
00:55:29.000 That's not the way it worked back then.
00:55:30.000 You didn't get misdemeanors.
00:55:32.000 It was either chop out your tongue or you're good.
00:55:35.000 But I have a theory about this.
00:55:37.000 I think when Columbus came, he introduced a plague of his own to the Aztecs, whatever the hell they were in the Caribbean at the time, the Tainu.
00:55:49.000 What do Puerto Ricans call themselves all the time?
00:55:51.000 Taino Indians?
00:55:53.000 Something like that.
00:55:55.000 And that went up the Caribbean, up Central America, up the west coast of America, and decimated the American Indians eastward.
00:56:07.000 So although we fought them for 400 years, their numbers were severely crippled by a plague that probably started with Columbus accidentally.
00:56:17.000 And then we had, of course, Henry VIII dies.
00:56:20.000 I've just put him dying there just because you're like, whenever you see him, you're like, when was he around?
00:56:26.000 Right?
00:56:28.000 So now we get exciting with America.
00:56:31.000 We have the Indian Wars for 400 years.
00:56:34.000 They ended, when did they end?
00:56:35.000 1609 to what?
00:56:37.000 1924.
00:56:41.000 That's pretty fucking recent.
00:56:42.000 People are alive when the Indian Wars ended, alive today.
00:56:47.000 But one thing I find funny about settling America is it was two groups.
00:56:54.000 There was the 1607s up here, Jamestown, that was a scam.
00:57:00.000 The Spanish owned that part of North America at the time, and they weren't paying attention to it.
00:57:08.000 They had abandoned it, but it was theirs.
00:57:10.000 So England said, let's go in there and just fucking mine gold and then get the fuck out and not even tell them we were there.
00:57:18.000 We'll come back with a bunch of gold.
00:57:20.000 So they went there.
00:57:21.000 Of course, the gold rush was hundreds of years later in a totally different part of the country.
00:57:24.000 They didn't get gold.
00:57:25.000 They got a lot of tobacco, though, and corn and some other random shit.
00:57:31.000 And they never left.
00:57:35.000 But then, 13 years later, you have these guys in Plymouth Rock, totally different incentive to go there.
00:57:41.000 You see how much more interesting American history is than other histories?
00:57:46.000 Totally different reason.
00:57:47.000 They went there to escape the temptations of the Church of England.
00:57:51.000 They were Puritans, and they were worried they'd get too horny if they fell to the more liberal churches.
00:57:57.000 So they went there to have Puritan culture unthwarted, almost like Amish or something.
00:58:04.000 Now what do we have down here?
00:58:07.000 Oh yeah, so that was the end of the Anglo-Scottish.
00:58:09.000 Isn't it interesting though?
00:58:10.000 The Anglo-Scottish Wars were over in 1600, but Scotland didn't join Britain until 1707.
00:58:16.000 So that's why I did a dotted line here, because they may not have been at war, but the beef was not settled.
00:58:23.000 Then this magical day.
00:58:24.000 You know what I think is cool about this?
00:58:26.000 And we'll look at this with American history?
00:58:30.000 USA had their constitution before they were born, before they were a country.
00:58:34.000 They were that positive they were going to win.
00:58:37.000 Okay, so these are all little blips because we're going back to the Romans, so four years is going to be nothing.
00:58:43.000 What's that, slavery?
00:58:45.000 Let's follow the slavery line.
00:58:46.000 Actually, zoom out a bit, Ryan.
00:58:47.000 This is a bit too close.
00:58:49.000 So we got the Industrial Revolution, which was fucking massive in Britain, but not really that big of a deal in America.
00:58:57.000 Slavery ending.
00:58:58.000 Go up.
00:59:00.000 UK abolishes slavery first, but that doesn't really mean anything.
00:59:03.000 They barely had any slaves.
00:59:04.000 They had a few guys they stole on boats.
00:59:06.000 We had to fight hard to really abolish it.
00:59:09.000 So we abolished it about 80 years later, 75 years later.
00:59:15.000 Oh, look at this.
00:59:16.000 1908, we discovered oil in the Middle East.
00:59:18.000 Fuck, why do we ever tell them about that?
00:59:20.000 1928, penicillin.
00:59:22.000 See, when I was doing this part of the chart, I started thinking, I shouldn't do this.
00:59:28.000 Like when you're doing like Braveheart Dies and the old-timey stuff, we got that.
00:59:31.000 But if you're going to get into details like penicillin, you need a new chart.
00:59:35.000 Go down.
00:59:40.000 Israel's born, obviously, right after World War II.
00:59:42.000 All right.
00:59:43.000 So this is getting too cluttered here.
00:59:45.000 It's time to do a whole new chart of America from 1776.
00:59:50.000 You got that?
00:59:54.000 There we go.
00:59:56.000 I'm selling these, by the way, the originals.
00:59:59.000 So this I started in 1776 because that's when you should start.
01:00:05.000 I think you should have two different brains when it comes to this.
01:00:07.000 Big picture, Western civilization, Roman, Julius Caesar, all the way till Trump.
01:00:13.000 Hail Emperor Trump, the two great emperors.
01:00:15.000 So that's sort of big picture thinking.
01:00:17.000 But as far as really caring and really seeing patterns and really getting involved, let's just start at 1706.
01:00:24.000 1776, I mean.
01:00:26.000 Now, Ben Franklin discovered electricity.
01:00:28.000 This is an interesting example, by the way.
01:00:30.000 But so what?
01:00:31.000 Like, you can't power a lamp with a key on a kite.
01:00:35.000 So I don't really count that, and I'm glad it happened outside of my chart.
01:00:39.000 Boston Tea Party, I don't care.
01:00:41.000 That's not America.
01:00:42.000 That was British people fighting British people.
01:00:45.000 But go over here.
01:00:48.000 This is big.
01:00:49.000 So 1897, there was the Chicago World Fair, right?
01:00:54.000 Is that 1893?
01:00:57.000 Fuck, the dates are kind of weird.
01:00:58.000 Oh, yeah, it's there, but the line is farther back.
01:01:01.000 So 1893, they just sort of flicked a switch and the whole lighthouse lit up, I think.
01:01:07.000 White House.
01:01:10.000 And the White House was at the Chicago World Fair.
01:01:13.000 Well, they lit up a bunch of shit, okay?
01:01:15.000 At the Chicago World Fair in 1893.
01:01:18.000 And that's when electricity became affordable and popular and plausible.
01:01:24.000 So it's one thing to discover it.
01:01:25.000 It's another thing to be able to pipe it into everyone's home.
01:01:28.000 Like the computer, we had computers in the 70s.
01:01:31.000 But until Apple gave you a little home computer with that little floppy disk, then it's irrelevant.
01:01:37.000 It's a bunch of rich guys use it to do massive computing.
01:01:41.000 Now you can do essays at home.
01:01:42.000 That's when it matters, as far as I'm concerned.
01:01:45.000 All right.
01:01:46.000 So let's go back a bit.
01:01:49.000 Actually, let's just do the presidents first.
01:01:51.000 Go to the bottom.
01:01:52.000 Now, one thing I learned while laying these out is there's a lot of bullshit around here you shouldn't give a shit about.
01:02:00.000 Zach Taylor, Martin Von Buren, John Quincy Adams.
01:02:06.000 Like, some of these guys were president for a month.
01:02:08.000 I'm not learning their names.
01:02:10.000 I'm not learning anything about William Henry Harrison and James Buchanan.
01:02:16.000 None of these guys matter.
01:02:17.000 I guess Ulysses Grant was interesting because of the Civil War, but I don't think you have to learn any of these.
01:02:23.000 Fuck all of these people.
01:02:24.000 The only people that matter here are Andrew Jackson, James Madison, I guess John Adams and Thomas Jefferson because they were second and third, but look how short their duration was.
01:02:35.000 Like a couple years.
01:02:36.000 George Washington, of course, is very important.
01:02:39.000 Let's not tear that down.
01:02:41.000 Revolutionary War, of course, goes backwards, 1775, 1783.
01:02:45.000 I did the death counts, too, on this.
01:02:47.000 25,000, which doesn't sound like a lot, but the population was go up.
01:02:53.000 Population was only 5 million.
01:02:55.000 So that's pretty bad.
01:02:58.000 So scroll forward here on the presidents.
01:03:00.000 Don't care, don't care.
01:03:01.000 Grover Cleveland, sort of care.
01:03:03.000 Teddy Roosevelt, okay.
01:03:05.000 I care.
01:03:06.000 William Taft, no.
01:03:07.000 Woodrow Wilson, I care.
01:03:09.000 I think he started the whole daddy issues culture that we're in now.
01:03:13.000 At least that's what Glenn Beck told me.
01:03:15.000 Because I was telling Glenn about how the two lesbians who started BLM, yes, they're Marxists, but they chose Marx because he has daddy issues and both their fathers abandoned them.
01:03:26.000 And he goes, we've been having daddy issues since this fucker.
01:03:30.000 Don't care about Warren Harding.
01:03:31.000 Calvin Coolidge is important because Charles Johnson told me it was.
01:03:35.000 Herbert Hoover, sure.
01:03:36.000 FDR, is that the fucker who gave us the New Deal?
01:03:40.000 Or is that Lyndon Johnson?
01:03:42.000 Go up a bit?
01:03:44.000 No, a lot.
01:03:45.000 The New Deal is FDR.
01:03:47.000 Yeah, 1933.
01:03:48.000 That's a big fucking deal.
01:03:49.000 That's when we got this culture of government spending and everything turned to shit.
01:03:52.000 And all of a sudden, we owe $13 trillion.
01:03:56.000 And of course, now we start caring.
01:03:58.000 And you'll notice there's room now.
01:03:59.000 Like, go back to 1841.
01:04:02.000 This was a fucking madhouse.
01:04:04.000 What was going on then?
01:04:06.000 We had the Wild West.
01:04:08.000 When was the Civil War?
01:04:10.000 We had Reconstruction after the Civil War.
01:04:14.000 Yeah, I guess this was during the Civil War.
01:04:15.000 When was the Civil War?
01:04:18.000 Civil War was way over here, 1861 to 1865.
01:04:21.000 And go back to the presidents?
01:04:23.000 So all this shit was starting before the Civil War.
01:04:27.000 Like 1841 to 1857 was just a jumbled mess.
01:04:33.000 We had like 40 presidents in three years.
01:04:35.000 Anyway, so you go over to the end and you see when it matters.
01:04:40.000 And now you'll notice we've been getting a pretty good pace since maybe Coolidge.
01:04:50.000 Maybe Woodrow Wilson.
01:04:51.000 Boom, boom, boom.
01:04:53.000 No chaos.
01:04:53.000 Boom, boom.
01:04:56.000 Right, left.
01:04:58.000 Right.
01:04:59.000 Look at that.
01:05:00.000 Right, yeah, right, right, left, right, left, right.
01:05:08.000 Of course, Prowboys and Vice are very important.
01:05:11.000 All right, so let's go back to the beginning of the chart.
01:05:15.000 Zoom out a bit.
01:05:23.000 So we started buying most of America from France in the West with the Louisiana Purchase.
01:05:31.000 And then we had Lewis and Clark go out there with some Indians and explore the whole place.
01:05:36.000 It's shocking to people that the concept of the Wild West goes way into, look at this, Wild West was, yeah, 1850 all the way to 1924.
01:05:53.000 So you see these buildings in Manhattan that say 1851.
01:05:59.000 You know, it's on cement or stone on the front of the building, and you think, that was fucking Wild Bill, Jesse James.
01:06:05.000 Look, Jesse James was 1872.
01:06:07.000 That was fucking big mustaches and shootouts and train robberies and all that stuff.
01:06:14.000 So the country grew at a very different rate.
01:06:17.000 New York City was thriving back here, like 1855.
01:06:22.000 That's when Bill the Butcher died.
01:06:23.000 Gangs in New York, all that fun stuff, little vests and everything.
01:06:28.000 Meanwhile, the West was still a fucking primitive.
01:06:32.000 It was in the medieval period.
01:06:37.000 So, yeah.
01:06:38.000 Go over back over here.
01:06:40.000 The Alamo is such a big deal.
01:06:43.000 I don't understand why.
01:06:44.000 It's just like Custer's last stance.
01:06:47.000 Yeah, it was one thing we lost for a second.
01:06:49.000 We got Texas back a few years later.
01:06:51.000 You know, Cinco de Mayo is about how Mexico beat back, I think, the Spanish.
01:06:58.000 But it lasted like a couple years and then Spain just took it back.
01:07:03.000 So they're celebrating this minor victory that didn't have any long-term effects.
01:07:08.000 Congratulations, guys.
01:07:11.000 Gold rush, fascinating time.
01:07:15.000 Out west, that drew a lot of people out west and built a lot of the west.
01:07:20.000 Got our national anthem in 1814.
01:07:23.000 Industrial Revolution, again, not a big deal here.
01:07:28.000 I put the Chicago fire here.
01:07:29.000 I don't know.
01:07:30.000 I kind of regret putting this here.
01:07:31.000 Big deal.
01:07:32.000 It took up a lot of land, but only 300 died.
01:07:35.000 Custer's last stand, big relevant thing because the Indians won a battle.
01:07:39.000 Congratulations, guys.
01:07:42.000 Slavery abolished.
01:07:43.000 1865, Lincoln shot, I assume because of it.
01:07:46.000 We got Alaska for $7 million.
01:07:49.000 So things are, you know what's interesting about this chart is you really feel some momentum here.
01:07:56.000 Alexis de Tocqueville came to America and he said, I'm paraphrasing, but he said, democracy is slow and sluggish and inefficient, but once it starts turning its wheels, junk, jung, chucker, nothing can stop it.
01:08:09.000 It becomes the giant boulder in Indiana Jones.
01:08:12.000 And you feel this momentum here.
01:08:14.000 Oh, we've got a movie theater.
01:08:16.000 Electricity is popular.
01:08:18.000 The Wright brothers just learned to fly.
01:08:20.000 That's going to fucking explode.
01:08:21.000 Soon we'll have giant buildings that whip through the sky that can fit like 300 people.
01:08:27.000 And you'll go to Europe in six hours.
01:08:30.000 Model T Ford, an affordable car released by Henry Ford.
01:08:34.000 Now we've got mobility.
01:08:35.000 Now we're cooking.
01:08:37.000 This was, of course, a sad day when women were allowed to vote.
01:08:40.000 But right up until now, like 1920, oh, the oil boom in California, 1920.
01:08:48.000 Everything is going fucking fantastic.
01:08:50.000 And then, boom, everything turns to shit starting in 1929, right?
01:08:56.000 We're plummeting.
01:08:58.000 FDR thinks he's saving the day with the New Deal, but he's not.
01:09:02.000 He's just introducing the concept of government spending, which has gone haywire ever since.
01:09:08.000 And things are looking grim.
01:09:10.000 And then just as things are looking incredibly grim, by the way, World War I, it doesn't seem that consequential in American history.
01:09:17.000 We lost 116,000 yet, but our population was probably about 90 million then, right?
01:09:24.000 I don't know.
01:09:25.000 It didn't seem to have the same kind of impact.
01:09:28.000 But while we're suffering the Great Depression, while everyone's poor and everything blows, boom, we got hit with World War II.
01:09:35.000 And that's why I made this.
01:09:37.000 Look, fridges were just becoming affordable, but we were in the shit and everyone was broke.
01:09:43.000 And so that's why I made this a big pink column.
01:09:46.000 Because if you zoom out, it's like, hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my rugged girl.
01:09:54.000 And everything fucking sucks for what was it, six years.
01:09:59.000 And then America, after losing 405,000 men, brave souls, I think they hearkened back to this.
01:10:11.000 The electricity and the Model T and the affordable fridges and the Wright brothers and the movie theater.
01:10:18.000 And we got our mojo back.
01:10:20.000 And that's when you had, of course, a massive baby boom, people fucking like lunatics.
01:10:25.000 Then we got Rock and Roll in 1950.
01:10:30.000 And also in 1953-55, we got The Wild One with Marlon Brando and Rebel Without a Cause.
01:10:39.000 This is the beginning of cool.
01:10:41.000 Before that, a teenager was just a young adult who should get a family.
01:10:45.000 Now, all these guys, World War II vets, they wore t-shirts.
01:10:49.000 What?
01:10:49.000 A t-shirt?
01:10:50.000 That's an undershirt.
01:10:51.000 No, I'm wearing it as a shirt.
01:10:53.000 And they wore leather jackets.
01:10:54.000 They were riding Harleys around Africa, fighting Nazis.
01:10:57.000 And they come back to small town America and they're like, I'm not normal anymore.
01:11:02.000 I'm cool now.
01:11:03.000 I like to fight.
01:11:04.000 I like danger.
01:11:05.000 I ride around a motorbike.
01:11:06.000 This was the birth of the 1%ers, the motorcycle clubs.
01:11:10.000 They said they had a big thing in Hollister, California.
01:11:13.000 And they said they were fighting and brawling.
01:11:15.000 And the head of the American Motorcycle Association said, no, no, no, those don't represent us.
01:11:19.000 They're just part of the 1%.
01:11:20.000 And so bikers started wearing 1% badges because they're like, yeah, we are part of the evil 1%.
01:11:26.000 Obviously, Vietnam was a major pain in Our side, 60k dead.
01:11:33.000 That was 55 all the way up to fucking 75.
01:11:37.000 Not as crippling as World War II, probably because we didn't have the Great Depression and everything, and the Dust Bowl poverty and all these other horrible things before it.
01:11:45.000 It was like a tumor.
01:11:46.000 So we were happy and thriving, but we had this Vietnam tumor on us.
01:11:51.000 But once that was gone, we were really fucking kicking ass.
01:11:57.000 Oh, look, the first video game, Pong.
01:12:01.000 And post-Vietnam, I think, was probably the best time in the history of America.
01:12:07.000 Apple released the Mac computer.
01:12:10.000 People were dancing, fucking.
01:12:11.000 Unfortunately, people were enjoying themselves a little too much and invented divorce.
01:12:15.000 But when was Reagan president go down?
01:12:20.000 So Reagan was 81 to 89.
01:12:24.000 That was just peak America.
01:12:27.000 And I think when Donald Trump says make America great again, he's not talking about slavery, you fucking dummies.
01:12:33.000 There's one thing we've learned from these charts.
01:12:35.000 You're not allowed to go too far back.
01:12:37.000 Okay?
01:12:37.000 Irish were slaves.
01:12:38.000 We got slaves out the wazoo.
01:12:40.000 The word slave comes from Slovakian, Slavs.
01:12:44.000 Okay, so do you want to play that stupid fucking game?
01:12:47.000 You want to say, we were kings in Egypt thousands of years before the birth of Christ, and then we plucked you away?
01:12:55.000 No, that was the 1600s.
01:12:57.000 You're thousands of years off.
01:12:59.000 We plucked away your kings and made you pick cotton.
01:13:01.000 No, we didn't do that.
01:13:04.000 Arabs and Africans invented slavery, and they shipped them all over the world.
01:13:10.000 We got 11 million slaves were procured in the great slave trade.
01:13:15.000 A million died just getting to the boats.
01:13:17.000 10 million were shipped around the world.
01:13:19.000 We got 340,000.
01:13:21.000 Brazil got like 3 million.
01:13:22.000 Go get pissed off at Brazil.
01:13:24.000 Everyone was doing it.
01:13:25.000 We didn't start it.
01:13:26.000 We ended it.
01:13:27.000 And we ended it with 680,000 dead men.
01:13:32.000 That's the equivalent of 5 million today.
01:13:35.000 In other words, it's an American Holocaust.
01:13:37.000 America put mostly white males through a Holocaust to free you.
01:13:43.000 So maybe you're welcome is in order?
01:13:46.000 And no, the cotton picking didn't build this country.
01:13:50.000 This country was not built on slavery.
01:13:52.000 Some of the South was built on slavery.
01:13:56.000 And they obviously didn't do a lot of building because they lost the war.
01:13:59.000 So they were no power fucking monger.
01:14:04.000 And after the Civil War, the country was negative.
01:14:08.000 The balance was below zero.
01:14:10.000 So anything you built was gone.
01:14:14.000 We started from scratch.
01:14:15.000 When is the Civil War?
01:14:17.000 It's just like Vice.
01:14:18.000 People go, oh, Vice was started on a welfare grant.
01:14:20.000 That's bullshit.
01:14:21.000 It was started despite being in a socialist province, Quebec.
01:14:25.000 But okay, if you want to talk like that, then what about when we were probably $300,000 in debt living in Williamsburg and had to start the magazine from scratch?
01:14:35.000 Was that built on welfare?
01:14:37.000 So go back, Civil War, 1865.
01:14:41.000 So you could argue that America started from scratch in 1865.
01:14:45.000 All of this, electricity, sorry slaves, Wright brothers, Model T. Ford, the California oil boom, sorry, okay?
01:14:54.000 And we worked through this massive pink column of shit together.
01:15:00.000 And you're like, you're still bringing up fucking Cleopatra?
01:15:04.000 Jesus Christ, it's getting embarrassing.
01:15:06.000 We're living in an embarrassing zenith, the most embarrassing time in America's history.
01:15:12.000 When I see these protests, I just cringe.
01:15:14.000 2020 cringe world.
01:15:18.000 Now, I was going to include all of the wars in Iraq.
01:15:21.000 I mean, sorry, all the wars in the Middle East and all the thousands of men, but you look them up and it's like we're in Lebanon for a few days, 19 men died, and it's all pretty small numbers.
01:15:29.000 The only time you get to big numbers is Iraq war, which is still going on, 4.5K, and the money we spend there.
01:15:37.000 I think it's more than we give to Israel.
01:15:40.000 And the Afghanistan war, what a fucking mess.
01:15:42.000 The Russians couldn't fix it.
01:15:43.000 Why do we think we could?
01:15:45.000 2.4K.
01:15:49.000 iPhone major change.
01:15:50.000 God Emperor Trump, of course.
01:15:52.000 Gay marriage.
01:15:53.000 Oh, what a seminal event.
01:15:54.000 Every time you look up seminal moments in American history, they always include shit like that.
01:15:58.000 You're like, yeah, I remember that when 32 gays pretended they enjoyed being married and made a bunch of white kids.
01:16:07.000 Isn't it funny how all my straight friends who adopt end up with black kids?
01:16:11.000 Because that's all you get.
01:16:12.000 That's all there is available at the orphanages.
01:16:16.000 But all the gays always seem to get a surrogate to make them a white baby.
01:16:21.000 Always.
01:16:22.000 I've never seen a gay couple with a black baby.
01:16:25.000 And I know of maybe five couples that have adopted and 100% of the times it's black.
01:16:31.000 So shouldn't gays get in shit for that?
01:16:33.000 Anyway, so I'll zoom out.
01:16:36.000 This is, I think, a cohesive look at the history of America.
01:16:39.000 I think I'll print it out as a poster so you can have it on your wall to remind you of all the incredible shit we've been through together as a country and are now thriving.
01:16:50.000 And if there's one time you don't have the right to be an ingrate, it's in 2020.
01:16:57.000 You spoiled, ignorant fucking brats.
01:17:01.000 You spoiled, ignorant fucking brats.
01:17:11.000 Did you like that helpful chart?
01:17:13.000 I like learning like fun stuff.
01:17:13.000 Yeah, I did.
01:17:16.000 Or learning in a fun way and being good at it.
01:17:18.000 Secret to learning.
01:17:20.000 Oh, my mustache is doing that thing again.
01:17:23.000 Is to block stuff out.
01:17:26.000 Don't be thorough.
01:17:28.000 It's true.
01:17:30.000 As we say in Canada, fuck the dog.
01:17:32.000 Dog fucker means a lazy person.
01:17:35.000 But I think that we were taught in school that you have to read a book cover to cover and then you get tested on every chapter.
01:17:40.000 If you're reading a book and you zone out for a page, that's because that page sucked.
01:17:46.000 Just keep on going.
01:17:48.000 Pick up a book, read some of it, throw it down.
01:17:50.000 It's like a record.
01:17:51.000 You don't have to listen to every single song and memorize the lyrics.
01:17:54.000 Be half-assed.
01:17:55.000 It's a very freeing concept.
01:17:57.000 Yes.
01:17:58.000 And I'm that way for the gym.
01:17:59.000 I sort of go, I'll just, when I don't feel like going, I go, I know, I'll go and do a shitty job.
01:18:03.000 Did I tell you I fought Doc today?
01:18:05.000 Did you?
01:18:06.000 Yes.
01:18:06.000 How'd that go?
01:18:07.000 I have a headache.
01:18:08.000 Oh.
01:18:09.000 He does this.
01:18:10.000 I hate fighting him.
01:18:11.000 He does this thing where he wears you out and then he wails on you.
01:18:15.000 And sparring is like you're punching someone, so it should be abnormally benevolent.
01:18:20.000 Like whenever I would do a comedy sketch and say, okay, and then you punch me really hard, it was never hard enough because they didn't want to hurt me.
01:18:27.000 Right.
01:18:28.000 And that's the way you're in sparring.
01:18:29.000 You see a guy's open, you could break all his ribs and you just go boop as if to say, oh, you shouldn't have, I could have really nailed you there.
01:18:36.000 Well, he's kind of like a goth guy, so he's got a lot of anger towards you or something.
01:18:41.000 Yeah, okay.
01:18:43.000 But anyway, so I'm trying to control my breathing and I know what he's doing is trying to wear me out, so I'm not going bananas on him.
01:18:49.000 I'm just like doing what he's doing, which is just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop stuff.
01:18:54.000 And then I went like this.
01:18:55.000 But it was more like just like stretching my arms, hurt, and I was just doing that.
01:19:00.000 And then he just starts going, gives me like this brutal combination, which you just don't do.
01:19:09.000 You know, like imagine there was a sex scene in a movie and you're with this girl and you actually like did slip your fingers up into her pussy.
01:19:18.000 The actress would be like, what are you doing?
01:19:21.000 And you were just like, really tonguing her and like biting her neck.
01:19:26.000 And the camera wasn't even on your head.
01:19:28.000 It was on your feet.
01:19:29.000 She'd be like, whoa, whoa, this isn't an actual sex scene.
01:19:32.000 And that's what he does.
01:19:34.000 He doesn't finger my pussy, obviously.
01:19:36.000 But so, and then you know what he said after that?
01:19:38.000 He goes, don't flex.
01:19:40.000 It's not cute.
01:19:42.000 So he thought that I was going like this, like, oh.
01:19:46.000 You want to do something, bitch?
01:19:48.000 Meanwhile, I was like, ah, fuck my back.
01:19:52.000 I'm never fighting him again.
01:19:53.000 That man doesn't like you very much.
01:19:56.000 He's just so awkward.
01:19:58.000 Hey, Gavin, you're giving us old-timers a bad name.
01:20:03.000 Okay.
01:20:03.000 As opposed to the good name that old-timers innately have, right?
01:20:08.000 I'll move around, as they say, with absolutely anyone in the gym.
01:20:12.000 In fact, I like the bigger pros because they're so good that they know exactly how loud to turn up the volume and how low to make it.
01:20:23.000 And they'll tap you when you leave yourself open.
01:20:26.000 And they won't give you like a, they'll still punch you.
01:20:29.000 But you learn a lot more from the guys who can kill you.
01:20:36.000 All right.
01:20:39.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
01:20:41.000 Yes, yes, yes.
01:20:42.000 Alright, let's just do the mailbag and then fucking end this shit.
01:20:45.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:20:49.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:20:54.000 Let me touch it.
01:20:58.000 So we got a letter, this is kind of old now, where this guy claims that in that Seattle collision, they were listening to Fuck You With My Heels On.
01:21:14.000 What do you think of that?
01:21:17.000 Pretty weird.
01:21:18.000 He said he couldn't find the full video.
01:21:20.000 Well, yeah, it's gone.
01:21:25.000 But I got lots of red flags here.
01:21:29.000 It's a blue flag.
01:21:30.000 Ah, shit.
01:21:31.000 I can't find it now.
01:21:33.000 Seattle Hit and Run is by Andrew.
01:21:36.000 Andrew Capp.
01:21:38.000 If you type that in.
01:21:39.000 Well, you just said his name.
01:21:40.000 No, I didn't.
01:21:41.000 It's a longer last name.
01:21:43.000 Like a way longer last name.
01:21:44.000 I'll just do Seattle Hit and Run.
01:21:46.000 That would make more sense.
01:21:47.000 Okay, here it is.
01:21:48.000 Holy shit, this is unbelievable.
01:21:49.000 You showed the Seattle Freeway Posters video, which ended her phone spinning in the air, but you won't believe what happened just before that clip starts.
01:21:56.000 For 30 minutes prior to the crash, they were dancing and twerking on the freeway, yelling slogans at each other.
01:22:01.000 Yeah, I know that.
01:22:04.000 At one point, the streamer wanders out of mic range from the music, and within three minutes, she was hit.
01:22:08.000 Guess what the last song was?
01:22:09.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.
01:22:11.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
01:22:15.000 Sounds like a really serious demonstration.
01:22:18.000 No, this is not a joke.
01:22:19.000 That was the last song the other girl heard in her life.
01:22:22.000 I've desperately looked for the link to prove it, and it's gone.
01:22:25.000 Original title was Black Femme March Takes I5.
01:22:28.000 But that reminds me of this, like hurling yourself into traffic is a whiffnail joke.
01:22:34.000 They're throwing themselves into the road gladly.
01:22:39.000 This is not an accident.
01:22:40.000 Go to 1.5.
01:22:42.000 Fucking 1.5.
01:22:43.000 Like these people are not protesting and then they get clipped by a car by accident.
01:22:47.000 They are lunging at cars.
01:22:50.000 Look at this.
01:22:52.000 They're throwing themselves into the roads gladly.
01:22:59.000 What makes you think you can take on a car?
01:23:04.000 Oh, that's whatever.
01:23:05.000 That goes on for days.
01:23:08.000 All right.
01:23:10.000 So we have no evidence of that, sir.
01:23:12.000 And we cannot find the two-hour live stream.
01:23:15.000 Dude, that email was from yesterday?
01:23:18.000 And since then, we have received 8 billion, I believe.
01:23:22.000 8 billion.
01:23:23.000 Yes.
01:23:24.000 Oh, 8 billion now.
01:23:25.000 It was a kajillion.
01:23:28.000 All right.
01:23:28.000 Let's start with Matt.
01:23:31.000 Please do an episode watching Hamilton.
01:23:37.000 It's literally the gayest thing I've ever seen.
01:23:39.000 I hate Hamilton.
01:23:41.000 I hate that we can't have history without it being blacks and Hispanics portraying our founding fathers because our founding fathers are what?
01:23:48.000 So disgusting.
01:23:50.000 The thought of Conan O'Brien playing MLK in a musical about civil rights would cause riots in the streets, so it doesn't go both ways.
01:23:59.000 I have a dream.
01:24:00.000 Lynn Manuel Miranda, totally separately to him and Hamilton and everything, his face makes me dry heave.
01:24:09.000 I fucking hate his face.
01:24:11.000 And the best example of why you should hate him too, and he should make your skin crawl as much as he makes my skin crawl, is the beatbox thing he did with, what was her name?
01:24:20.000 Emma Roberts.
01:24:22.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:24:23.000 Is it Emma Roberts?
01:24:23.000 She was from, she was hegemony or whatever from Harvey Potter.
01:24:30.000 They did a beatbox.
01:24:32.000 Oh, God.
01:24:34.000 He flipped.
01:24:37.000 I hate that he's sitting on his leg.
01:24:39.000 I hate his hair.
01:24:40.000 I hate...
01:24:43.000 Yeah.
01:24:43.000 Oh, so he's done multiple reps about.
01:24:46.000 No instructions.
01:24:46.000 Why are they sitting on their legs?
01:24:48.000 Get your feet off the fucking couch.
01:24:50.000 I'm sure they were beatboxing on set during those movies.
01:24:53.000 Every young man tries it.
01:24:55.000 That's what we do all the time.
01:24:57.000 We just beatbox.
01:25:00.000 Okay.
01:25:00.000 He's the most Armenian Puerto Rican I've ever seen.
01:25:02.000 Hey, this is going to be so bad.
01:25:03.000 That'd be awesome.
01:25:04.000 Do I cover my mouth?
01:25:05.000 Yeah, just for my sake.
01:25:08.000 I also feel like I know him.
01:25:09.000 I remember in the 90s, the hip-hop nerds with the backpacks were really into the scientific hypothetical.
01:25:16.000 Remember those dudes?
01:25:18.000 They all had backpacks.
01:25:20.000 What the fuck's in your backpack?
01:25:21.000 Oh, that's my notepad for writing rhymes, analytical.
01:25:25.000 The four elements of hip-hop are breaking, DJing, graffiti, and rap.
01:25:30.000 So hip-hop is the culture with the four elements.
01:25:34.000 Rap is just one of the four elements of hip-hop.
01:25:38.000 They'd be working on their tag.
01:25:39.000 Oh, so corny.
01:25:41.000 This just sort of spit at you?
01:25:43.000 Yeah.
01:25:43.000 Yeah.
01:25:43.000 It's sort of like the spit guard.
01:25:45.000 This is going to be so embarrassing.
01:25:46.000 Okay, what am I freestyling about?
01:25:48.000 Gender equality.
01:25:49.000 Fantastic.
01:25:50.000 It's International Women's Day.
01:25:51.000 It's he for she.
01:25:52.000 In daughter quality feminism.
01:25:53.000 Are you a feminist?
01:25:54.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:25:56.000 Love that.
01:25:56.000 Great.
01:25:57.000 Yeah.
01:25:57.000 Oh my God, am I ever.
01:25:59.000 I mean anything you want me to do.
01:26:01.000 We can talk in a minute.
01:26:01.000 Am I Nazi?
01:26:02.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:26:03.000 Yeah.
01:26:04.000 Gas the juice.
01:26:05.000 What kind of beat do you want?
01:26:06.000 Slow or fast?
01:26:07.000 Whatever you got.
01:26:09.000 This is going to be bad.
01:26:10.000 This is going to be amazing.
01:26:12.000 Not my beatbox.
01:26:13.000 You're rapping.
01:26:14.000 It's going to be terrible.
01:26:19.000 Okay.
01:26:22.000 Perfect.
01:26:24.000 Yo.
01:26:25.000 Oh.
01:26:25.000 Yo, it's Lynn and I have to laugh.
01:26:27.000 How can we meet not be equal?
01:26:29.000 We're like half.
01:26:30.000 Like women are like half of the people on earth.
01:26:33.000 And yes, they should have been equal since birth.
01:26:35.000 That means all day, every day, equal pay, every way.
01:26:38.000 Okay, are we really okay?
01:26:40.000 Oh my gosh.
01:26:41.000 Yo, this beatbox is fantastic.
01:26:43.000 Beasts, where to find him?
01:26:44.000 Yo, I'm drastically changing the narrative.
01:26:46.000 Look at it.
01:26:47.000 You kept going.
01:26:48.000 And oh my gosh, I love watching this cute.
01:26:49.000 Wow, my entire back is goose pimples.
01:26:52.000 Wait, you like that?
01:26:53.000 No, I just zoned out.
01:26:54.000 I just zoned out.
01:26:56.000 Same thing with the church video.
01:26:57.000 Sometimes I just...
01:26:58.000 can't handle it.
01:27:00.000 Yeah, I do shut down, yeah.
01:27:02.000 happens.
01:27:02.000 Remember the other one where he's on the stage and he's Wait, the stage?
01:27:09.000 Yeah, they're doing the thing on stage, and it's that there it is.
01:27:14.000 The Hillary Clinton one.
01:27:15.000 Oh, that was brutal.
01:27:16.000 I remember this.
01:27:20.000 Number one.
01:27:20.000 You're register to vote and it's on.
01:27:23.000 You post that Hillary sign up on your lawn.
01:27:26.000 Number two.
01:27:27.000 Call someone deciding about your cousin.
01:27:30.000 Number three.
01:27:31.000 Flip a blue.
01:27:32.000 Watch Hillary examine the terrain.
01:27:35.000 Watch a campaign with the man Tim Kane.
01:27:38.000 Ah, Tim Kane and the Membrane.
01:27:42.000 That's not good, is it?
01:27:43.000 Wow.
01:27:45.000 Oh, my God.
01:27:46.000 Rosie O'Donnell and James Gordon rap.
01:27:48.000 I need your advice.
01:27:49.000 I want to watch that.
01:27:52.000 Me neither.
01:27:56.000 It's obviously going to be some pre-written stupid rhyme.
01:27:59.000 A hurricane came, devastation reigned, a man saw his future drip dripping down the drain.
01:28:04.000 Put a pencil to his name, just making it to his brain.
01:28:07.000 All right, fuck off.
01:28:08.000 Why did you put that up?
01:28:09.000 Lee, dear Gavin, I'm in supply chain management.
01:28:11.000 I've witnessed layoff and furlough envy among hourly associates right from the beginning.
01:28:17.000 We have associates that are clearly trying to get themselves fired with poor performance or poor attendance.
01:28:23.000 After a reprimand, performance, after a reprimand, comma, Lee, should put a comma there.
01:28:29.000 Performance issues, two team leads said, I do not feel good, which is a coronavirus loophole to walk off the job.
01:28:37.000 Because these women in logistics are incapable of handling feedback, these sentences are a nightmare, dude.
01:28:44.000 After a reprimand, performance issues.
01:28:48.000 After a reprimand for performance issues, two team leads said, I don't feel good.
01:28:53.000 Because these women are incapable of handling feedback, it seems like COVID-19 is bringing out the true character of people in different ways.
01:29:00.000 Fuck off.
01:29:01.000 You learned to speak English.
01:29:03.000 That could have been a major thing.
01:29:05.000 Government-incentivized laziness.
01:29:06.000 Fuck the government.
01:29:07.000 All right, thanks.
01:29:09.000 Hey, Gavin, the left seems to want to cancel people and political philosophy, philosophical ideas from society.
01:29:13.000 Do you think the next step is to cancel things that were invented by racists?
01:29:17.000 What if lost diaries from Jonas Salk came out to show that he thought blacks were disgusting animals?
01:29:23.000 Would we need to reevaluate the polio vaccine that saved a billion lives?
01:29:27.000 Or is it only okay to cancel things that aren't crucial for society?
01:29:31.000 Can you read or if is, can you read your emails before you send them, please?
01:29:36.000 Just once.
01:29:40.000 I don't know, man.
01:29:43.000 If you're a lefty, you get a pass.
01:29:45.000 Like Daniel Johnson.
01:29:46.000 Speeding motorcycle.
01:29:47.000 Won't you change?
01:29:48.000 Adored.
01:29:50.000 Adored by lefties.
01:29:53.000 Holocaust denier.
01:29:54.000 Hated Jews.
01:29:56.000 Said they controlled the media.
01:29:57.000 I think Dr. Zeus had some controversial opinions about Jews.
01:30:05.000 I don't know.
01:30:08.000 I don't think anyone's going to do anything that will inconvenience them.
01:30:11.000 But that being said, if you're a white male, healthy, Catholic MAGA guy, you can do no right.
01:30:21.000 You bounce a baby on your leg and say, we have an integrated living room.
01:30:25.000 People cannot even describe how horrified they are.
01:30:30.000 We are responsible for 150% of what we do.
01:30:33.000 They are responsible for 20% of what they do.
01:30:36.000 It is a disaster.
01:30:40.000 Hey guys, got to check this out.
01:30:41.000 A lady is driving past a pro-Trump rally, flipping off the participants, and is eventually confronted by her worst fear.
01:30:48.000 The Nazis are real.
01:30:50.000 She has a fit of hysteria when they start speaking to her.
01:30:53.000 Happens at the four mark.
01:30:56.000 Oh, hey, look at my white supremacist grand up there.
01:30:59.000 What's the matter, Mark?
01:31:01.000 Are you kidding me right now?
01:31:04.000 This is a white supremacist right here, ma'am.
01:31:06.000 Aw, you're the little baby.
01:31:08.000 Are you kidding me?
01:31:10.000 Oh, babe, look at this.
01:31:12.000 You're a terrible one.
01:31:14.000 Harassing.
01:31:16.000 Woo-hoo!
01:31:18.000 I'm in your setback, ma'am.
01:31:20.000 Hey, it's parents!
01:31:26.000 The internet is real!
01:31:35.000 Like, she would be amazing in bed.
01:31:38.000 But she's not mentally all there.
01:31:39.000 She'd be amazing sleeping in a bed.
01:31:41.000 What is she looking at?
01:31:45.000 She's FaceTiming.
01:31:46.000 She said, hey, babe, what do you know?
01:31:49.000 Is that guy with her or against her?
01:31:51.000 I don't know, because she seemed to have scared him at first.
01:31:54.000 Her.
01:31:57.000 What is she doing?
01:31:58.000 Calling 911?
01:32:01.000 What is your badge?
01:32:02.000 What do you need?
01:32:03.000 He shot the police, but call them when you need your help.
01:32:05.000 Call the police when you need help, but defund them.
01:32:08.000 Call the police when you need help, but defund them.
01:32:10.000 I say, God, please.
01:32:12.000 I want them defunded.
01:32:13.000 Fuck the police.
01:32:14.000 We've been calling them.
01:32:16.000 I'm driven by a 50-year-old.
01:32:19.000 Look at that.
01:32:19.000 She's giving them all a finger and then they they confront she has a complete meltdown.
01:32:23.000 Oh, yeah.
01:32:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:32:27.000 I have brothers.
01:32:27.000 Hey, all these people that live are...
01:32:31.000 She's literally hyperventilating.
01:32:33.000 Get off my property?
01:32:35.000 I think she said that when he touched her car.
01:32:36.000 This man doesn't even care about any of his mistakes.
01:32:42.000 This man doesn't care about anyone.
01:32:44.000 Oh, shit.
01:32:45.000 Turn around.
01:32:45.000 Put your hands behind your body.
01:32:46.000 Guilty.
01:32:47.000 Guilty discharge.
01:32:49.000 Especially when it comes to you.
01:32:53.000 Back on her phone.
01:32:56.000 I bet it comes out in three seconds.
01:32:58.000 Good about that.
01:32:59.000 31,000.
01:33:00.000 31,000.
01:33:01.000 41,000.
01:33:02.000 51,000.
01:33:04.000 She's on a no-phone marathon.
01:33:06.000 Wow.
01:33:07.000 10.
01:33:08.000 That's why she can't breathe so much.
01:33:14.000 It's weird how she's got a sexy top that shows off her midriff.
01:33:20.000 empowering.
01:33:21.000 She's causing a scene and she expects nobody to do anything or say anything.
01:33:26.000 What does she want the cop to do?
01:33:28.000 Just start arresting everyone who's wearing a magazine?
01:33:32.000 They're supporting the president of the United States.
01:33:34.000 President of the United States.
01:33:36.000 That's always about half the country.
01:33:43.000 What's in your car?
01:33:45.000 a gun.
01:33:51.000 What's she got now?
01:33:52.000 Keys?
01:33:54.000 Little stupid sandals?
01:33:56.000 I'm not attracted to her anymore since I saw the sandals.
01:34:00.000 Grow up!
01:34:03.000 Yeah, that's a great point.
01:34:05.000 So what's she doing now?
01:34:08.000 Sitting on a bench giving everyone a finger.
01:34:16.000 She's explaining it to someone else.
01:34:18.000 You'll never believe what happened.
01:34:19.000 She's got to be in the middle of the moment.
01:34:20.000 Nothing.
01:34:23.000 Well, now we have to see what happens next.
01:34:25.000 You jerk.
01:34:26.000 way over the line Wait, they said stay tuned.
01:34:33.000 Another re-showing the fucking same shit.
01:34:35.000 I hate when people do this.
01:34:37.000 It's just a waste of time.
01:34:39.000 What's happening here?
01:34:40.000 Now cops is consoling her like a like a therapist.
01:34:44.000 Well, she is clearly out of her mind.
01:34:48.000 Alright, thanks a lot, jerk.
01:34:50.000 Hey, go see who that user is.
01:34:52.000 Don't say stay tuned and then show me a bunch of barf.
01:34:56.000 Let me see that user.
01:35:00.000 The common sense conservative actually does pretty well.
01:35:04.000 Wait, is that the black dude from New York?
01:35:08.000 Robert Ziffering?
01:35:10.000 Robert, don't tell us to stay tuned and not have a slam dunk available immediately after.
01:35:17.000 Alright, well, I didn't know.
01:35:18.000 We'll see later on in the clip.
01:35:21.000 Alright, Robert.
01:35:23.000 Alright, we're done.
01:35:25.000 But before we go, we always show a video.
01:35:30.000 And this is called Flying Bikini.
01:35:33.000 It's number 2-4.
01:35:35.000 Fucking 2-fucking 2-4.
01:35:37.000 A lot of F-words on this show.
01:35:39.000 Sorry, elderly ladies and southerners.
01:35:41.000 I know how you hate that.
01:35:43.000 So, um, you have to understand when you're coming up with a plan, you have to determine vectors.
01:35:49.000 There's this.
01:35:50.000 There's that.
01:35:51.000 They have to add together perfectly to achieve what you want.
01:35:55.000 And if you're a lady, I am dubious.
01:36:00.000 Well, I obviously have hindsights 20-20.
01:36:02.000 I've already seen this, but check it out.
01:36:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:36:09.000 Oh, my God.
01:36:11.000 So she's laughing.
01:36:13.000 wow Oh, my God.
01:36:21.000 Can we see that frame by frame?
01:36:23.000 I'd like to.
01:36:25.000 Is that possible?
01:36:26.000 You can just like pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.
01:36:28.000 Hit it!
01:36:36.000 Okay, so luckily her head goes down.
01:36:41.000 It looks like it dents.
01:36:43.000 She's definitely going to have a black bruise on her hips and her shins.
01:36:49.000 But thank God, her head got out of the way.
01:36:52.000 And there's probably a bit of give on that plastic pool.
01:36:54.000 Her head wasn't involved in any part of this.
01:36:59.000 She's got a lot of sex appeal.
01:37:02.000 Oh, my God.
01:37:04.000 She really did not pussy out.
01:37:06.000 I think she was drunk.
01:37:08.000 That's probably why she's okay.
01:37:09.000 Yeah.
01:37:10.000 *Squeak* Hit it!
01:37:14.000 *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*
01:37:17.000 Such confidence on that land.
01:37:21.000 Jump off roofs.
01:37:22.000 Hit trampolines.
01:37:24.000 Learn American history.
01:37:26.000 Just a dumb version.
01:37:28.000 I don't know shit.
01:37:29.000 And I Know more than most Americans.
01:37:32.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.