Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 02, 2019


S02E30 - ANIMAL HOUSE


Episode Stats

Length

26 minutes

Words per Minute

159.7257

Word Count

4,270

Sentence Count

435

Misogynist Sentences

20

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary

My dad and his brothers all slept in the same bed the night before they went on their first date, and he accidentally nails his own father in the face with a glass bottle of coke. This is the story of the first time my dad met my mom.


Transcript

00:00:28.000 My shirt is gonna see through.
00:00:31.000 I'm dying.
00:00:32.000 Hey, whoever is messing with the past, stop doing it right now.
00:00:36.000 You're making me vanish.
00:00:37.000 My parents are not meeting the same way.
00:00:40.000 Someone told my mom that my dad has herpes, and she's not dating him.
00:00:44.000 Actually, he could not have done a worse courting job, my dad.
00:00:48.000 That was Chris Monette's, by the way.
00:00:50.000 Let's dance, I think is the song, and it's from the fight food scene, food fight scene in the movie Animal House.
00:00:56.000 Animal House will be the subject of today's show.
00:00:58.000 Although I wouldn't be surprised if I don't get to it, because I'm such a chatty Kathy.
00:01:01.000 I've been doing Coke.
00:01:03.000 As you can see, there's Coke all over the desk here.
00:01:05.000 Just kidding.
00:01:07.000 It does make you quite chatty, though, if I recall.
00:01:12.000 But yeah, the first date, so my dad met my mom in like 1965 or something.
00:01:21.000 You know what's a trip?
00:01:22.000 When I went to visit my grandmother once, I found my mom's, like, address book.
00:01:26.000 And it was from back then.
00:01:28.000 And it said, meet Jimmy.
00:01:30.000 Meet Jimmy McInnis.
00:01:32.000 In her little, like, date book.
00:01:34.000 And then I noticed there was, like, some spaces.
00:01:37.000 But then it would be, like, meet Jimmy M. Then meet Jimmy.
00:01:41.000 And then just J. J. J. J. J. J. Babies.
00:01:48.000 Did you see Kyle?
00:01:50.000 What are you, a Nazi?
00:01:55.000 But the night before their first date, him and his brothers all slept in the same bed.
00:02:02.000 And his brothers were not very good at stuff.
00:02:08.000 My dad grew up in a Catholic, Scotch, Irish, Catholic family, very poor.
00:02:15.000 And he had a high IQ.
00:02:17.000 So he got scholarships and did well.
00:02:19.000 No one else did, unfortunately.
00:02:22.000 Although some of my aunts married very well.
00:02:25.000 My aunt married a Mexican, and she did great.
00:02:28.000 And her son is one of my closest friends.
00:02:31.000 Any Hizzle.
00:02:33.000 So my dad comes home drunk.
00:02:36.000 He must have been like 24.
00:02:39.000 And then his brother Alan shows up, who's dead now, unfortunately.
00:02:44.000 Poor Alan, drank himself to death.
00:02:47.000 And he comes home.
00:02:49.000 And my dad, my dad had spent his life fighting on behalf of Alan, because people would pick on Alan because he was small and weak.
00:02:56.000 And my dad was a good fighter.
00:02:57.000 So sometimes he would just let Alan get pounded if he couldn't handle the mob.
00:03:01.000 But for the most part, he would say, leave him alone and just get in there and beat the guy up.
00:03:06.000 And maybe that breeds some resentment, you know?
00:03:09.000 You're sort of like, Alan, toughen up.
00:03:11.000 Fight your own fights.
00:03:13.000 My dad's nose looks like KRS1's.
00:03:15.000 Look up KRS-1.
00:03:17.000 My dad looks like KRS-1.
00:03:19.000 And it's from fighting mostly on behalf of Alan.
00:03:22.000 Anyway, so Alan comes home and he goes, you're eight, which in Glasgow means fuck you.
00:03:29.000 And Alan goes, what's your problem, Jimmy?
00:03:33.000 I just say you're eight and Alan.
00:03:34.000 You're eight.
00:03:36.000 That's my dad.
00:03:38.000 And imagine that was an albino who was bald and had a tartan blazer on.
00:03:47.000 And that's Jimmy McInnes.
00:03:48.000 So anyway, he says, Jimmy, don't start with me.
00:03:54.000 You know, you're right.
00:03:55.000 I'm not in the mood.
00:03:57.000 And he goes, you're not in the mood, you be poof.
00:03:59.000 You're not a man.
00:04:00.000 Are you a man or a mouse?
00:04:02.000 Squeak up.
00:04:03.000 That's what he always said to me as a kid.
00:04:07.000 And Alan goes, don't push me, Jemmy.
00:04:08.000 And he goes, do your worst.
00:04:10.000 What do you got?
00:04:12.000 And Alan, you know, even the biggest wimps in Glasgow can fight.
00:04:16.000 So Alan fucking gets his hips into it and it's just like, fucking, really swivels with a pow, like putting out a cigarette.
00:04:25.000 And he nails my dad in the face.
00:04:27.000 My dad goes flying back on the bed.
00:04:29.000 And then he gets up.
00:04:30.000 They all slept in the same bed.
00:04:32.000 You know who else had that life?
00:04:33.000 Ralph Lorraine.
00:04:34.000 His real name is like Ralph Schlipschitz.
00:04:37.000 And he slept in the same bed as his brothers.
00:04:39.000 That was common back then.
00:04:40.000 Hey, people from the Great Depression, could you not get your shit together to get another bed?
00:04:47.000 What is with all these people who have to sleep in the same bed?
00:04:49.000 It's just a bed.
00:04:50.000 We've had them since cave days.
00:04:53.000 Surely you can get another bed in there.
00:04:55.000 Why was everyone sleeping in the same bed?
00:04:56.000 I ain't buying it.
00:04:59.000 Did you buy beer?
00:05:00.000 Like, your priorities are groceries and then beds.
00:05:04.000 Why did so many brothers sleep in the same bed?
00:05:06.000 I'm not buying that.
00:05:06.000 You couldn't afford it.
00:05:08.000 Get some more beds.
00:05:09.000 Anyway, build a bunk bed.
00:05:13.000 Well, they didn't have bunk beds back then.
00:05:14.000 Then build one.
00:05:16.000 It's just two beds on top of each other.
00:05:18.000 What are you?
00:05:18.000 In the movie, Step Brothers?
00:05:19.000 You can't figure out how to build a fucking bunk bed?
00:05:22.000 Anyway, I'm sorry.
00:05:23.000 I'm railing against the poor from 50 years ago.
00:05:27.000 No, almost 100 years ago.
00:05:29.000 Anyway, so my dad gets up and he goes, is that all you got?
00:05:34.000 That's pathetic.
00:05:37.000 Try again.
00:05:38.000 And then, my uncle Alan pounds my dad in the face and he goes flying backwards over the bed, gets up.
00:05:45.000 That's a punch.
00:05:47.000 You consider that a punch.
00:05:50.000 Jummy, you're making this worse.
00:05:52.000 Try maybe a left hook or something.
00:05:59.000 That's pathetic, Alan.
00:06:01.000 And he just keeps pounding him and pounding him.
00:06:03.000 And my dad keeps telling him he's pathetic and he's crying and pounding him.
00:06:06.000 And they're grown men.
00:06:08.000 You know, they're in their early 20s.
00:06:10.000 The next day, my dad wakes up.
00:06:11.000 His eyes are sealed shut.
00:06:13.000 He's completely black and blue.
00:06:15.000 His ears are all cauliflower.
00:06:17.000 His face is swollen to the size of a pumpkin.
00:06:20.000 He looks like he's been hit by a car.
00:06:23.000 And that's his first date with my mom.
00:06:25.000 So they went to, I don't know why they met at Boots Chemist, which is like CVS in Britain.
00:06:30.000 And she said that she'd see him, and he would sort of go, and she'd go, Jemmy, is that you?
00:06:39.000 And he'd just sort of go, and vanish.
00:06:46.000 What a pussy, eh?
00:06:47.000 Because he was embarrassed of his giant pumpkin head.
00:06:51.000 And then she finally, like, I don't know, corners him, and she goes, what?
00:06:55.000 Oh, my God, what's going on?
00:06:57.000 He goes, ah, it's a long story.
00:07:02.000 I think I'm saying summit, but I think that's East London slang, and I'm making Glaswegians say it.
00:07:06.000 Glaswegians, Scottish people don't say anything that English people say.
00:07:10.000 They hate each other's guts.
00:07:12.000 You know, they say mate in England.
00:07:14.000 They never say that word in Scotland.
00:07:22.000 So the Scots do the opposite.
00:07:23.000 They go bananas for New Year's Eve.
00:07:25.000 They call it Hogbonay.
00:07:26.000 And Christmas is like, here I go, yeah, ball opener.
00:07:30.000 It's sort of like Canada.
00:07:32.000 So much of their culture is based on spite of America.
00:07:36.000 July 4th, we're doing July 1st.
00:07:40.000 So they go out on a date, and they say we should make the funniest and most interesting person in the world.
00:07:47.000 We'll call him Gavin.
00:07:49.000 But in the interim, let's just hang out and party.
00:07:52.000 And then I think he forgot about her.
00:07:56.000 I think she saw his face pounded and she knows my mother's quite a handful.
00:08:01.000 She's a bitch.
00:08:02.000 I love her to death.
00:08:03.000 I'm an asshole.
00:08:04.000 I'm half asshole, half bitch.
00:08:06.000 And I think she went, I need an asshole to rein me in.
00:08:08.000 And this guy has had the shit beaten out of him and he still seems okay.
00:08:12.000 I'm going to marry him.
00:08:13.000 She's like the Tasmanian devil.
00:08:14.000 I love her to death.
00:08:16.000 I sound like I'm disparaging her.
00:08:18.000 She's very dramatic and strong, and she'll fight to the death.
00:08:21.000 She terrorized the Ottawa Museum of Natural History because they had no Scots there, and it was all about Cambodians and all these other cultures that contributed nothing to Canada, but they dominated this museum in Ottawa.
00:08:35.000 She would not let it go.
00:08:38.000 Whoever curated that museum was having nightmares every night.
00:08:41.000 So I love that my mom is the Tasmanian devil.
00:08:44.000 I'm not disparaging her.
00:08:45.000 Bitch to me is not an insult, especially when it comes to my mom.
00:08:47.000 She taught me to be a fighter.
00:08:50.000 My dad is such a fighter that he doesn't like fighting because he'll kill you.
00:08:53.000 You know those kind of guys?
00:08:54.000 Like Milo Yiannopoulos' dad?
00:08:56.000 I don't want a problem, mate.
00:08:57.000 Please, let it go.
00:08:58.000 Let it go.
00:09:00.000 But my mom's like, get in there, do it.
00:09:03.000 Anyway, so it's possible she was attracted to this brawler because she thought, I need backup.
00:09:11.000 But for whatever reason, I guess he went on a bender and he didn't see her for a while.
00:09:15.000 And then he stood her up.
00:09:16.000 They were going to meet like a week later and they didn't meet.
00:09:18.000 And so there's a road called Byers Road in Glasgow.
00:09:21.000 It's near the university.
00:09:22.000 It's very busy.
00:09:23.000 And they both went to the same.
00:09:24.000 He went to Glasgow University, a super smart school that arguably created the modern world.
00:09:24.000 No, no.
00:09:30.000 They were the first to separate church and state, Glasgow University.
00:09:34.000 And he went there, a poor kid, with no shoes.
00:09:36.000 His toes look like this because he would wear shoes that were too small for him.
00:09:41.000 His feet make me gag.
00:09:42.000 His toes are mangled up like this.
00:09:45.000 I don't get it, too.
00:09:46.000 You wear shoes that are too small for you.
00:09:48.000 After about 10 minutes, you want to shoot yourself.
00:09:50.000 He did it for years.
00:09:52.000 High threshold of pain, I guess.
00:09:54.000 So he stood her up, and he saw her on the street, and she was a large-chested blonde, very attractive, which in Glasgow does not happen.
00:10:01.000 Women are not attractive in Glasgow because the Vikings stole them all.
00:10:04.000 If you think women in Scandinavia are hot, you're a rape apologist because the Vikings would go all over Europe just taking the hot ones.
00:10:12.000 And that's why you go to Scandinavia and you're like, what the fuck?
00:10:15.000 10 ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:10:17.000 What?
00:10:18.000 That's all the Scottish hotties, British hotties.
00:10:22.000 They stole them all.
00:10:23.000 And they really ransacked Glasgow, judging by the look of things today.
00:10:29.000 So he saw her across the street and he goes, oh my God, Lorraine.
00:10:32.000 And she's like, not interested.
00:10:34.000 So she just keeps walking.
00:10:35.000 He goes, please forgive me.
00:10:37.000 She's not interested.
00:10:38.000 And then he goes, please, Lorraine, forgive me.
00:10:40.000 He gets on his knees and he walks on his knees across Byers Road, begging for forgiveness.
00:10:48.000 His cars are going, get out of the fucking road, you shit.
00:10:52.000 You fucking shithead.
00:10:55.000 And he begs and she forgives him for standing her up because he walked across Byers Road.
00:11:00.000 How did we get there?
00:11:01.000 Anyway, it was a strange courtship, but it worked out and they've been married ever since.
00:11:04.000 They got married in, I think, 68.
00:11:08.000 And now we're at 2019.
00:11:09.000 They had their 50th wedding anniversary.
00:11:11.000 And I said, forgive me if I've told you this story already, but I said, I would like to make a toast to my father.
00:11:20.000 I think, obviously it's a 50th anniversary, and we're celebrating both my mother and my father.
00:11:26.000 But let's really focus today's celebration on my dad.
00:11:30.000 Because he clearly married a woman who is blind and deaf, and those women tend not to find suitors.
00:11:40.000 But he loved her, and he saw past the fact that she can't see or hear.
00:11:47.000 Because clearly no woman who could see or hear would be married to this guy.
00:11:50.000 I thought it was a fucking great bit.
00:11:53.000 But no one was laughing.
00:11:54.000 It bombed.
00:11:56.000 They were in a time in their lives when they were hanging around with a lot of squares.
00:12:00.000 And I just didn't, I think they didn't like that it was offensive.
00:12:03.000 Yeah, it's also hilarious.
00:12:04.000 And it's very flattering to my mom, dumbass.
00:12:10.000 So Animal House.
00:12:12.000 National Lampoon was doing very well.
00:12:15.000 That's Harvard Lampoons magazine.
00:12:17.000 I'm a member of Harvard Lampoon.
00:12:18.000 I'm an honorary member.
00:12:20.000 And it was Doug Kenney who wrote this film.
00:12:23.000 But he wrote it with Harold Ramos and a bunch of different people.
00:12:27.000 John Landis, I think, was involved in the writing.
00:12:29.000 He's definitely the director.
00:12:31.000 But what they did was they said, there was a particular frat that was like the anti-frat frat.
00:12:38.000 And they had some great stories.
00:12:40.000 So they wrote them all out.
00:12:41.000 And initially, it had crazy names, like Cheerleaders from Outer Space and had aliens and all kinds of dumb shit in it.
00:12:47.000 But they pared it down to a rational story about a frat.
00:12:51.000 And they had good guys and bad guys.
00:12:53.000 And this is in a weird time that I've talked about quite a bit where in the 70s, they were obsessed with the 50s.
00:13:00.000 You had Happy Days, American Graffiti, Sean Anna, you know, the Fons.
00:13:04.000 Everyone had to have a leather jacket and say, Hey, I'm a fucking Italian guy from Queens.
00:13:09.000 That's what cool is.
00:13:11.000 I talked to Dee Schneider about this once of Twisted Sister, and he goes, We just couldn't get any gigs because we didn't sing Frankie Valley songs.
00:13:20.000 So we moved to Britain.
00:13:22.000 So Twisted Sister cut their chops in England because they liked glam there, and Twisted Sister were basically a glam band.
00:13:30.000 Another fun fact, all their roadies were punks, and they included members of the exploited and GBH.
00:13:37.000 So ask D. Snyder about that sometime.
00:13:39.000 Any issue, they said, all right, we have a pretty good movie now.
00:13:44.000 Let's lock ourselves into a room and amalgamate.
00:13:48.000 Just tell me all your crazy college stories and let's just crowbar them into this film.
00:13:54.000 So they started with a pretty good movie and then they just kept packing in other stories until it was the most over-the-top movie ever made.
00:14:03.000 They say this is based on a frat.
00:14:04.000 It's not really.
00:14:05.000 It's based on all of the rebels of all of the 50s and 60s crammed into one film.
00:14:11.000 And Doug Kenney, the guy who put it all together, he made each scene have a beginning and a middle and an end.
00:14:19.000 So they could all exist as separate YouTube videos and be great little shorts in and of themselves.
00:14:26.000 In fact, Animal House is really a compilation of short films.
00:14:29.000 And that's why it's my favorite movie ever made.
00:14:32.000 It's just a fucking masterpiece.
00:14:34.000 Even after they came up with that idea of cramming all these stories into one movie and threading them together into a plot, they added all this other crazy shit, like the character development.
00:14:47.000 Like John Belushi, they said, I want him to be like Harpo Marx meets Cookie Monster.
00:14:53.000 And when you know that and you see Bluto, John Blutowski, I think his name is, in the film, you realize that's, he took the notes and he did exactly that.
00:15:05.000 I mean, John Belushi barely has any lines in this film.
00:15:09.000 And he's one of the greatest characters in the history of movies.
00:15:13.000 And every time I watch this movie, it kind of recalibrates me.
00:15:17.000 And my favorite part about this film is, yeah, they fucked up.
00:15:21.000 But they got overly punished.
00:15:24.000 They got banished.
00:15:26.000 It wasn't really their fault.
00:15:27.000 Remember, they did cheat on the test, but the other rival frat switched out the garbage and kind of framed them.
00:15:33.000 I know I'm defending criminals, but whatever.
00:15:36.000 And instead of going, oh, well, we're kicked out.
00:15:38.000 We suck.
00:15:39.000 They go out in a blaze of glory.
00:15:40.000 That's why I say be fired and get in trouble because they didn't just shrug their shoulders and walk away.
00:15:46.000 They went out in a blaze of glory.
00:15:48.000 They got revenge.
00:15:50.000 That is a crucial lesson, especially for young people.
00:15:54.000 You know, I always tell my boys, when someone punches you, even as a joke, punch them back twice as hard.
00:16:02.000 Because it says, it puts the word out that I don't tolerate abuse.
00:16:06.000 It's very important to establish yourself as not a victim.
00:16:09.000 You can be a target.
00:16:10.000 I'm a target.
00:16:11.000 Tommy Robinson is a target.
00:16:13.000 But we're not victims.
00:16:14.000 In fact, Tommy Robinson actually corrected me once.
00:16:17.000 He said, never say victim.
00:16:18.000 It's a terrible word.
00:16:19.000 Say you're a target, which is accurate.
00:16:23.000 So that opening song, Let's Dance, the soundtrack to this film is perfect too.
00:16:28.000 And by the way, speaking of the soundtrack, it's the first time classical music was used to convey comedy.
00:16:36.000 They'd never done that before, and they've done it a million times since.
00:16:40.000 So Doug Kenney kind of carved out a new form of comedy, rebel comedy.
00:16:45.000 And the reason I think he was such a rebel is because he grew up working class in a very shishy neighborhood because his dad was a tennis instructor at a country club.
00:16:56.000 So that is a lower middle class blue collar job, but you're with rich people all the time.
00:17:01.000 So he never really fit in.
00:17:03.000 It's kind of like me in my neighborhood.
00:17:05.000 I live in a rich suburb where I just do not belong.
00:17:09.000 Although I keep meeting all these Trump people in my neighborhood, and they're all like, hey, I know who you are, and I'm on board.
00:17:16.000 So I think I'm going to start a club called GI5, Gay in the 50s, because that's what we are.
00:17:22.000 We have to meet secretly.
00:17:24.000 When we walk in a room, people go, oh, there's that fag.
00:17:28.000 It's actually made me sort of more open-minded to the bigotry and oppression that blacks and gays have faced in the 50s and 60s because I'm facing it now as a Trump supporter in liberal hell, New York City.
00:17:42.000 But can you find the food fight in Animal House?
00:17:45.000 Because ideally they'll play that song.
00:17:48.000 And Doug Kenney was always into food fights.
00:17:50.000 In fact, there was a food fight at his funeral.
00:17:52.000 Doug Kenney, by the way, also wrote Caddyshack, and he killed himself because people thought it sucked.
00:17:58.000 Doug, give it a second.
00:18:00.000 Let it simmer, asshole.
00:18:02.000 It's going to be considered one of the most legendary movies of all time.
00:18:06.000 fact, Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack was such a likable character that we elected him president of the United States.
00:18:24.000 Chubby Chase was supposed to be in this, and John Landis didn't want to be.
00:18:30.000 Oh, this is a weird part.
00:18:31.000 You can't bite into a golf ball.
00:18:37.000 That's not true.
00:18:38.000 There's Babs.
00:18:41.000 Mandy Pepperidge, I haven't seen you since we...
00:18:41.000 Mandy.
00:18:45.000 I'm sorry.
00:18:46.000 I can only stay a minute.
00:18:48.000 Let me buy you some lunch.
00:18:50.000 Oh, you've got your lunch.
00:18:52.000 How about some milk?
00:18:54.000 You got your milk, too.
00:18:57.000 Can I just massage your thighs while you leave?
00:18:59.000 Do I have to leave?
00:19:01.000 Is this a way to treat an int?
00:19:03.000 This is, I'm so scared that we're losing this culture.
00:19:06.000 Like, that guy is hitting on a girl.
00:19:09.000 Was she just me too'd?
00:19:12.000 Obviously, rape is bad, but when we get so sterile about sex, we lose the whole fun of it.
00:19:17.000 This guy is, just like when he got beat up in the motel in this movie, this guy is just jumping into the fray.
00:19:24.000 He's walking into a punch.
00:19:25.000 He might as well be stepping in the ring with Tyson.
00:19:27.000 He knows he's going to get knocked out, but he thinks, I got to try.
00:19:30.000 I got to fight.
00:19:32.000 I got to never stop fighting.
00:19:33.000 That applies to getting laid.
00:19:35.000 Just try.
00:19:36.000 Get out there.
00:19:37.000 As Dante Nero says, drop five bricks a day.
00:19:40.000 Contact with women.
00:19:41.000 Hey, what's going on?
00:19:42.000 You look fantastic.
00:19:43.000 God damn it.
00:19:45.000 You're beautiful.
00:19:46.000 Or, you know what I used to do with Derek, when I had a black friend?
00:19:52.000 We would switch places, but one of us would have like a heart attack, like going, oh my God, she's too beautiful.
00:19:57.000 And then the other guy would go, oh my God, are you okay?
00:19:59.000 And like hold him up as he was like, get her out of here, get her out of here.
00:20:01.000 She's stunning.
00:20:03.000 Women love that shit.
00:20:05.000 They love when you try.
00:20:06.000 And Mandy, by the way, in this scene where you could argue, a feminist would argue she's being sexually assaulted.
00:20:11.000 Mandy is loving this right now.
00:20:14.000 She loves him.
00:20:18.000 Intimate friend?
00:20:20.000 I don't just want to be with you.
00:20:23.000 What a wonderful world this would be.
00:20:26.000 This sweatshirt.
00:20:31.000 But I'm trying to.
00:20:32.000 This is hard as a cheap person to watch.
00:20:36.000 He's wasting a lot of food.
00:20:40.000 Oh, you know what just occurred to me?
00:20:42.000 He must know that a food fight is looming.
00:20:44.000 He's not getting food to eat.
00:20:46.000 He's stashing his artillery.
00:20:49.000 I never thought of that before.
00:20:50.000 Do you realize how many fucking fruits he took?
00:20:52.000 You think he's eating them?
00:20:53.000 Yeah, no one eats four bananas.
00:20:55.000 I'm starved.
00:20:55.000 Could I get four bananas, two oranges, and three apples, please?
00:20:59.000 I'm a fruit guy.
00:21:01.000 Sweaty fat guys don't eat fruit.
00:21:02.000 Never.
00:21:07.000 See, that's the beat of Animal.
00:21:08.000 You learn new things every time you watch it.
00:21:16.000 What is that about John Baluchi?
00:21:18.000 I think his elbows are funny.
00:21:22.000 My son has this little stuffed rabbit that he loves.
00:21:25.000 And I feel the same way about John Baluchi.
00:21:27.000 He's my pet.
00:21:29.000 He's my stuffed animal.
00:21:33.000 And how perfect is he as Cookie Monster meets Harpo?
00:21:45.000 This is back when you could afford songs.
00:21:56.000 I asked you never to speak to me again.
00:21:58.000 And when you go away.
00:22:01.000 Oh, they just killed his horse.
00:22:09.000 I do hope we're not interrupting anything, Maine.
00:22:12.000 Is it just me or is this just savage quality?
00:22:15.000 No, I wasn't.
00:22:16.000 I could make you leave if you had to.
00:22:18.000 Pluto!
00:22:20.000 Hey!
00:22:20.000 Hey, I think you know everybody here.
00:22:22.000 Just pause.
00:22:24.000 This is an awesome way to be an aggressive asshole.
00:22:27.000 You're showing that you're not scared of these dicks and you're fucking with them.
00:22:33.000 I saw Christopher Matthias on Twitter.
00:22:36.000 He's one of these conservative gadflies.
00:22:38.000 I don't mean he's a conservative.
00:22:39.000 I mean he looms around conservatives like a gadfly and reports on them.
00:22:43.000 He's like a turgid tattletale, as Greg Gutfeld once described Brian Stettler.
00:22:48.000 And he's always taking notes and these guys were over here.
00:22:52.000 And I saw he wrote this tweet where he said, I was reporting on Proud Boys and they confronted me and I walked away and they were being and then later they mentioned that Pinochet was offering free helicopter rides.
00:23:07.000 Yeah, they're making fun of you, you pussy.
00:23:10.000 They're not going to literally put you in a helicopter and throw you out the way Pinochet did the communists.
00:23:14.000 They're calling you a communist and they're making fun of you.
00:23:17.000 They're confronting you in a humorous way.
00:23:20.000 They're enjoying fighting.
00:23:23.000 That's what this movie is.
00:23:24.000 It's saying, enjoy confrontation.
00:23:27.000 Enjoy bad scenes.
00:23:29.000 That's what I think we need more of in this country is stepping into the ring going, yeah, I'll fight with you.
00:23:35.000 I'll argue with you.
00:23:36.000 I had it just today, I had a big fight with Dr. Michael Eric Tyson, as you can see on the site with Michelle Malkin and him.
00:23:45.000 It was tense.
00:23:47.000 And, you know, I was like, are we going to be okay after this?
00:23:49.000 And then as soon as we were done, it was great.
00:23:51.000 I love fighting and I hugged him and we got along great, took pictures together.
00:23:54.000 Anyway, go back We're at 24 minutes.
00:24:01.000 Jeez.
00:24:03.000 I thought we'd be watching entire movies together in 30 minutes.
00:24:06.000 No, don't worry.
00:24:06.000 Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.
00:24:09.000 Don't you have any respect for yourself?
00:24:15.000 This is absolutely gross.
00:24:17.000 He's a P.I.G.
00:24:18.000 That boy is a P.I.G.
00:24:19.000 pig.
00:24:20.000 I have a sweatshirt like that just because of him.
00:24:29.000 Oh, let's dance is coming up.
00:24:38.000 I'm a zip.
00:24:40.000 Get it?
00:24:41.000 All right, you bastard.
00:24:42.000 Let's go right here!
00:24:44.000 Come on, Fargy!
00:24:49.000 Food fight!
00:24:52.000 He picked a fight with an entire front.
00:25:03.000 How awesome is that?
00:25:09.000 What are we doing?
00:25:11.000 He's chatting up chicks during a fight.
00:25:13.000 Food fight!
00:25:20.000 Food fight!
00:25:25.000 Anyway, that's enough.
00:25:27.000 What a masterpiece.
00:25:29.000 What a perfect film.
00:25:32.000 We're out of time.
00:25:33.000 This is the abbreviated version of Get Off My Lawn.
00:25:37.000 It's the holiday episodes.
00:25:39.000 I'll be doing something similar on Easter and Christmas and New Year's Eve and other such holidays.
00:25:44.000 I don't want to give you nothing, but yes, you're going to have to slim down a little bit during this mini vacation.
00:25:50.000 And by the way, you should be enjoying your family and celebrating America on July 4th.
00:25:53.000 And on July 1st, you should be celebrating Canada and all of its wonderfulness.
00:25:58.000 You know, I miss Canada.
00:26:01.000 I miss brawling.
00:26:02.000 In Canada, probably because of hockey, fighting is considered just a fun thing to do.
00:26:08.000 You'll beat up your friend if he burns your jacket with his dart, his cigarette.
00:26:14.000 then your best friend's after.
00:26:15.000 In fact, is that true in America?
00:26:16.000 When I was a kid, every time you had a best friend, it was someone you fought.
00:26:20.000 And you guys hated each other, then you fought, and then you were buddies.
00:26:24.000 It's a beautiful way that men court men.
00:26:30.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:26:37.000 Don't quote the dead Kennedys now at the end.
00:26:40.000 You got to put the card up.
00:26:42.000 This is a very anticlimactic ending.