Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 03, 2019


S02E31 - HUSBANDS AND WIVES


Episode Stats

Length

33 minutes

Words per Minute

162.53465

Word Count

5,472

Sentence Count

607

Misogynist Sentences

51

Hate Speech Sentences

34


Summary

On this week's episode of Thick & Thin, the boys talk about the Portland Proud Boys and Antifa rallies, the dangers of wearing masks in public, and how to deal with your own personal safety issues. Plus, the return of the boys to the DC concert scene on July 6th.


Transcript

00:00:25.000 This show sucks now.
00:00:27.000 You know, ever since Ryan got fired, all Gavin does is drink beer in Hawaiian shirts and talk about his favorite movies.
00:00:34.000 It's like he's in retirement.
00:00:35.000 I'm on vacation, asshole!
00:00:38.000 This is a special week.
00:00:40.000 These are just little tidbits to keep you coming in.
00:00:44.000 It's like if there's a power outage and you go to the restaurant and they still have like a muse bouche and some little snacks, so you still like their restaurant.
00:00:53.000 I don't want to give you nothing.
00:00:54.000 You paid for a year.
00:00:56.000 I promise you new content every day.
00:00:59.000 I'll also be in DC on July 6th.
00:01:03.000 I think it's technically the third today if you're seeing this, although it was pre-recorded.
00:01:09.000 So we'll be there.
00:01:10.000 I'm going to wear all white.
00:01:11.000 I assume I'm going to get vanilla milkshaked.
00:01:14.000 I should get a bodyguard.
00:01:15.000 Oh, wait, I am my own bodyguard.
00:01:18.000 A bodyguard is just someone that's happy to fight.
00:01:21.000 Like Ronnie Mund is 70 years old, but he's Howard Stern's bodyguard, even though Howard Stern is like six foot six.
00:01:27.000 Howard Stern is Joey Ramon.
00:01:29.000 He's not willing to fight.
00:01:30.000 He's just a big turkey vulture standing there with a mop on his head.
00:01:34.000 Ronnie Mund is ready to rock.
00:01:35.000 I'm ready to rock.
00:01:37.000 So why have a bodyguard?
00:01:39.000 Because he has a gun?
00:01:40.000 I don't really want to shoot Antifa.
00:01:43.000 I'm just happy to beat them up.
00:01:44.000 Andy No, NGO, I think I emailed you this, Steve.
00:01:49.000 Andy No, this is new news for me, but it's ancient news for you because it's Wednesday, but I'm recording this on a Saturday.
00:01:55.000 And I just heard about this because it just happened.
00:01:57.000 Andy No went to Portland.
00:02:00.000 There was a, I don't know what it was, some rally, Proud Boys and Antifa meeting.
00:02:06.000 I mean, it's just the mods and the rockers at the end of the day, right?
00:02:09.000 I know I keep repeating that, and you give me shit for repeating my shit, but that's all it is.
00:02:14.000 But like, what's the point of a rally in Portland?
00:02:17.000 Proud Boys go there to say, you're not going to run this city, Antifa.
00:02:20.000 And Antifa go there to say, yes, we are.
00:02:24.000 It's the same stupid fight again and again and again.
00:02:26.000 And I love Andy No because he has the balls to go there and document it.
00:02:30.000 But Andy, what did you think was going to happen?
00:02:34.000 Like, you don't go over to MS-13 and start filming them thinking that they're going to go, hi, I'm a drug dealer.
00:02:41.000 You have to know that when you film Antifa, they're going to kick the shit out of you.
00:02:48.000 So he went over there and he started filming them with his GoPro, sponsored by Bud Light.
00:02:53.000 And they attacked him.
00:02:56.000 And they have masks on, so they can be particularly sinister.
00:03:00.000 They're operating in the shadows.
00:03:02.000 Isn't it funny how when you have a group that disguises their face, they claim they do that because they don't want to be identified.
00:03:13.000 But there's another factor that happens there.
00:03:15.000 You start attracting people who want to commit violent acts and not be discovered.
00:03:22.000 So maybe they started out with good intentions.
00:03:25.000 Oh, the big government is documenting everything we do.
00:03:27.000 We have to hide our faces.
00:03:29.000 Later, though, if someone goes, oh, wait, what goes on?
00:03:31.000 You can hide your face and go punch someone and then run away.
00:03:35.000 You know, I remember there was, when I was a kid in high school, we played a game.
00:03:40.000 I thought it was called Safety Slut.
00:03:42.000 So did we all in Canada.
00:03:44.000 But it's apparently called Safety Slug because you're slugging the guy.
00:03:48.000 And our deal was if you fart and you don't say safety or burp and you don't say safety, someone says slut.
00:03:54.000 I'm just finding out now it's actually slug, but we would say slut.
00:03:58.000 Then everyone gets to beat you up until you can name five breakfast cereals.
00:04:00.000 It's part of the Proud Boys, too.
00:04:02.000 It became part of that.
00:04:05.000 And I remember getting pounded, there was sort of some ethics there.
00:04:07.000 Like you might get punched in the face once, but they tended to keep it here.
00:04:11.000 They tended to do arms and legs.
00:04:12.000 There wasn't a lot of broken ribs.
00:04:14.000 There was almost no ball shots.
00:04:17.000 There was some gentlemanliness.
00:04:19.000 And I remember this kid, Rick Lull, Richard Lull, every time I was getting pounded, I noticed he would do shit like punch me in the balls or the head.
00:04:27.000 Not just me, but everyone.
00:04:28.000 He was like this little like, eh, eh.
00:04:30.000 And he'd wait until there was like 10 guys on you.
00:04:32.000 And then he would just like punch your feet.
00:04:34.000 You know, those little bones you have on your feet.
00:04:36.000 He'd get in these little dirty pool shots.
00:04:39.000 And that's what Antifa are.
00:04:41.000 And that's who they attract.
00:04:42.000 They attract people that want to go eh and then run away.
00:04:46.000 And Andy was a victim of that.
00:04:48.000 He was a target of that, but he's also kind of a victim.
00:04:50.000 Here's just a crazy theory, and this is a horrible thing to say.
00:04:54.000 But is it possible because he's gay, there's some sort of like sadomasochism to it all?
00:05:00.000 Did he walk into that Antifa mob knowing they were going to beat his ass and he kind of liked it?
00:05:06.000 I'm just throwing that out there.
00:05:07.000 It's a crazy notion.
00:05:08.000 Sorry to.
00:05:10.000 Andy's on our team, so I shouldn't be disparaging him.
00:05:13.000 But you're allowed to have kooky theories about your friends and allies.
00:05:16.000 Do you have the video?
00:05:18.000 No, the email you sent me just says that, I think it was for someone else.
00:05:22.000 It says we're recording episodes now.
00:05:23.000 Oh, no, it was before that.
00:05:24.000 I sent it like half an hour ago.
00:05:27.000 But just look up Andy, NGO Antifa.
00:05:33.000 Should be all over the news.
00:05:34.000 This is ancient news for you.
00:05:36.000 I actually don't know why we're talking about it.
00:05:39.000 Because it's now Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
00:05:42.000 It's a four-day old news.
00:05:43.000 Welcome back to Old News.
00:05:49.000 I might have it here.
00:05:51.000 That sounds right.
00:05:55.000 Wait patiently.
00:05:57.000 Where's Ryan?
00:06:01.000 The movie we're doing, by the way, is Husbands and Wives.
00:06:03.000 That was that jazzy music at the beginning.
00:06:05.000 I believe it was Woody Allen himself.
00:06:08.000 He plays that stuff.
00:06:09.000 He likes that boogie-woogie music.
00:06:11.000 Remember, one time, my friend Mark goes, hey man, do you like boogie-woogie music?
00:06:16.000 I don't know why, but I laughed for about an hour.
00:06:18.000 I had never heard of boogie-woogie music before.
00:06:21.000 So I thought he just meant like jazz or funk or something.
00:06:25.000 So I was laughing at him, but the joke was on me because that is a type of music.
00:06:28.000 It's like upbeat jazz.
00:06:30.000 And no, I do not like jazz.
00:06:33.000 I do not like boogie woogie.
00:06:36.000 I don't like the word boogie woogie.
00:06:40.000 There he is.
00:06:46.000 Wait, is that?
00:06:47.000 Oh, that's ancient, dude.
00:06:51.000 That's from a long time ago.
00:06:53.000 This happened on Saturday.
00:06:55.000 Andy NGO.
00:06:59.000 I can find you the link.
00:07:00.000 Actually, I mean, it's such old news now, I'm reluctant to talk about it anymore.
00:07:07.000 He was, Michelle Malkin.
00:07:09.000 So today's Saturday.
00:07:10.000 I'm sorry.
00:07:11.000 I know you think it's Wednesday, and it is, for all intents and purposes.
00:07:15.000 Don't say intensive purposes.
00:07:17.000 Intents and purposes.
00:07:19.000 Oh, shoot, we don't have the bug that says free speech.tv.
00:07:24.000 Yeah, Ryan took that off the system for some reason.
00:07:27.000 I don't even have it on here.
00:07:28.000 Oh, farts.
00:07:29.000 Oh, well.
00:07:30.000 It's part of the holiday apps.
00:07:31.000 I think I have the video, by the way.
00:07:32.000 It's on his Twitter.
00:07:37.000 Yeah, guys, if you're going to an Antifa event, know they're going to attack you.
00:07:43.000 They are Rick Luls.
00:07:44.000 They are vindictive assholes.
00:07:47.000 I kind of like Rick.
00:07:48.000 Oh no I don't.
00:07:50.000 Yo!
00:07:52.000 Yo!
00:07:52.000 Look, some woman's about to come up and nail him.
00:08:07.000 It's like women get to two violence.
00:08:09.000 They threw that at the back of his head.
00:08:12.000 Fucking hound, bitch!
00:08:17.000 I'm a photographer.
00:08:18.000 This is too easy to get in there.
00:08:21.000 That's not the violence I grew up with.
00:08:22.000 Yo!
00:08:23.000 Yo!
00:08:23.000 Get the fuck out of here!
00:08:26.000 Alright, that's enough.
00:08:32.000 We got it.
00:08:32.000 Thank you.
00:08:34.000 By the way, I saw Michelle Malkin on Saturday.
00:08:36.000 We did the show with Dyson and Malkin.
00:08:39.000 And then we talked way to beer afterwards.
00:08:41.000 Again, one of the most fascinating people on earth.
00:08:44.000 And then I leave her to go shoot Bank These holiday episodes.
00:08:47.000 And I check my phone maybe two hours after I left her.
00:08:51.000 And she's raised $6,000 for that guy.
00:08:54.000 She's an animal.
00:08:56.000 She's a beast.
00:08:59.000 And she's Asian and had a rum and coke.
00:09:01.000 So you'd think that, you know, they can't break down alcohol the way the rest of us can, the way us Scots can.
00:09:07.000 What have I done?
00:09:08.000 I've talked about my favorite movies for a while to make sure we have holiday episodes.
00:09:12.000 She's raised $6,000 for him because they split his earlobe open, too.
00:09:17.000 They did serious damage to him while they were doing that.
00:09:19.000 But I love how they use milkshakes and stuff and say, what's the matter?
00:09:22.000 You scared of a milkshake?
00:09:24.000 Well, yeah, you also concussed him and split his face open and stole his GoPro.
00:09:29.000 But the optics are, it's just a milkshake.
00:09:32.000 Perfectly innocent.
00:09:34.000 Perfectly tame.
00:09:36.000 All right.
00:09:37.000 How long are we in now?
00:09:39.000 About 10 minutes.
00:09:40.000 Oh, good.
00:09:41.000 This episode is devoted to husbands and wives.
00:09:47.000 I think I may be losing my more blue-collar fans with this.
00:09:51.000 It's rather hoity-toity, this kind of comedy.
00:09:56.000 It's no Animal House, but I love this film.
00:10:00.000 It was my favorite film for many years until Animal House took it over.
00:10:05.000 But this film mocks baby boomers and their love of divorce.
00:10:10.000 And as a kid whose parents are still together, but as a kid who was around in 1980 when divorce happened, like my grandmother divorced my grandfather, but that was unheard of back then.
00:10:22.000 In 1980, divorce was basically invented.
00:10:25.000 That's when it began.
00:10:27.000 And everyone was getting divorced.
00:10:30.000 I can't think of a friend that I grew up with in high school who didn't have someone who's getting divorced.
00:10:38.000 Let's get my wife on the phone.
00:10:41.000 Hello, you're live on the air.
00:10:44.000 Oh, you haven't left yet?
00:10:46.000 No, I'm still recording these holiday episodes.
00:10:49.000 Oh, man.
00:10:50.000 Why?
00:10:52.000 Oh, we've just been having the funnest time ever and you're missing out.
00:10:55.000 Well, I'm going to be away for a week, so I got to do work first.
00:10:59.000 Okay, so we won't see you tonight until like 11.
00:11:03.000 Yeah.
00:11:04.000 Okay, bye.
00:11:07.000 That was my love.
00:11:10.000 Wait a minute.
00:11:11.000 I got a text from Michelle Malkin, my work wife.
00:11:16.000 I said, wait a minute, you've raised $6,000 since I last saw you an hour ago?
00:11:21.000 And she goes, actually, it's $25,000.
00:11:25.000 I'll text you this picture.
00:11:27.000 Sorry you guys are getting such old news, but that's the problem with the holidays.
00:11:32.000 She's insane.
00:11:35.000 And I think she's going to devote the rest of her life to people who are falsely incarcerated.
00:11:41.000 I'm not sure that's a secret or not.
00:11:43.000 But is it dumb to text you?
00:11:46.000 Do you have to get that off the text into the email?
00:11:48.000 Okay, I'll email you.
00:11:51.000 What a woman.
00:11:53.000 If I wasn't doing this, well, I would be with my kids.
00:11:57.000 But if I wasn't with my kids, after that recording of free speech with Dyson and everything, I just would have gone to a bar.
00:12:05.000 I would be sitting at a bar watching some sport I don't give a shit about.
00:12:09.000 So much of sitting in a bar is watching like women's soccer or golf.
00:12:13.000 I hate golf.
00:12:14.000 I love playing golf, but I hate watching golf.
00:12:16.000 And I hate watching women's soccer, but I'll just sit there and watch.
00:12:19.000 Oh, they got a goal.
00:12:20.000 Oh, it's 1-2 for USA versus France.
00:12:25.000 Who cares?
00:12:28.000 But you're doing drugs.
00:12:29.000 It's sort of like if you were shooting heroin and there was like a bird taking a shit.
00:12:33.000 You just like look at the bird.
00:12:34.000 Oh, there he is.
00:12:36.000 I guess they poo and pee at the same time, huh?
00:12:42.000 $25,000 she raised.
00:12:45.000 That's great.
00:12:47.000 But again, if Andy was my brother, I'd go, dude, why didn't you call me?
00:12:52.000 Proud boys, when they go to these rallies, they have goggles because there's pepper spray.
00:12:57.000 They have body armor.
00:12:58.000 It's not LARPing.
00:13:00.000 Antifa brings knives.
00:13:01.000 They stab.
00:13:02.000 I've seen Proud Boys with holes in their body armor where a knife has gone in.
00:13:06.000 Or one time, a guy showed me where a hammer, the claw end of a hammer, had gone in.
00:13:11.000 They say proud boys are violent.
00:13:13.000 They're reacting to violence.
00:13:15.000 They're defending themselves.
00:13:16.000 That's awesome.
00:13:19.000 And again, I feel bad disparaging Andy.
00:13:22.000 I hope I didn't come across saying he deserved it.
00:13:24.000 But the guy has balls.
00:13:27.000 Who else is documenting this stuff?
00:13:30.000 Who else is walking into a mob of Antifa and filming them?
00:13:35.000 So that's been in the past few hours.
00:13:37.000 Sorry, I'm talking about Saturday stuff, but you're seeing this on Wednesday.
00:13:41.000 Usually the show is live.
00:13:47.000 Husbands and Wives was a film by Woody Allen.
00:13:51.000 And it was right when all that weird shit was going on with his daughter.
00:13:55.000 Now, I believe Woody Allen is innocent.
00:13:58.000 I don't think he molested that other chick, that other chick, the girl that says she was molested in an attic.
00:14:05.000 I researched this heavily, and I don't think he did that.
00:14:08.000 I think she's lying.
00:14:08.000 I think that Woody Allen's ex was determined to frame him.
00:14:13.000 That being said, the things that he did and admits he did are pretty fucking bad.
00:14:18.000 It's sort of like Holocaust denial.
00:14:20.000 Like the far, far alt-right, they go, yeah, they weren't gassed.
00:14:24.000 They starved to death.
00:14:26.000 And it wasn't 3 million, it was 300,000.
00:14:28.000 And you go, okay, that's your scenario.
00:14:30.000 That's your Germany's innocent scenario.
00:14:33.000 Even in your crazy scenario, they're still rounding up people based on their religion and putting them in camps.
00:14:41.000 That's your totally Hitler's awesome scenario, and it's still really fucking bad.
00:14:46.000 Similarly, I love Nazi analogies.
00:14:50.000 So, Woody, your wife adopted a kid, and when that kid was 18, you began a sexual relationship with her?
00:15:02.000 That's gross.
00:15:05.000 And I've said this about so many different things.
00:15:07.000 Like when guys start dating their friend's ex, dude, there's 3 billion chicks out there.
00:15:12.000 Can you just choose the next one?
00:15:14.000 Why'd you have to choose that one?
00:15:15.000 Oh, you like Asian chicks?
00:15:17.000 You like young girls?
00:15:18.000 There's plenty of other.
00:15:19.000 You're famous.
00:15:20.000 There's plenty of other young Asian girls.
00:15:21.000 She's not even hot.
00:15:23.000 She's like a six.
00:15:25.000 So I'm not bananas about that.
00:15:26.000 But anyway, that whole controversy was going on while this movie came out.
00:15:31.000 And so it flopped and no one's heard of it.
00:15:34.000 Outside of, what's her name?
00:15:36.000 Juliet Lewis, I think?
00:15:38.000 Can you look up the cast of that?
00:15:41.000 Outside of her terrible performance, everyone is so good in this movie.
00:15:45.000 It is art.
00:15:47.000 I know my blue-collar buddies won't appreciate it because it's just, I don't know.
00:15:52.000 I don't want to say they're not sophisticated, but you have to have a sophisticated contempt for baby boomers to truly enjoy this movie.
00:16:00.000 It's Schadenfraud.
00:16:02.000 And there's a lot of suffering in this film that I like to see because I remember being a kid in 1980 and seeing my dad's friends sleep on the couch because they were going through a divorce.
00:16:10.000 And I remember even as a 10-year-old going, it seems like you're fucking up pretty bad.
00:16:16.000 It seems like you screwed up.
00:16:18.000 Maybe I'm sort of injecting my own brain into this.
00:16:22.000 Mia Farrell, they're all good.
00:16:24.000 Keep going down.
00:16:26.000 Juliet Lewis, yeah.
00:16:27.000 She sucks in it.
00:16:28.000 Anyway, let's, I thought I was dumb enough to think that we would just start these movies and somehow an hour and a half would be crammed into 30 minutes.
00:16:36.000 But let's just leap around.
00:16:38.000 Actually, what's on YouTube with this?
00:16:42.000 Sidney Pollack is so good in this.
00:16:43.000 Sidney Pollock leaves Judy Davis.
00:16:46.000 She's such a good actress.
00:16:48.000 It's amazing.
00:16:49.000 Especially in this film.
00:16:50.000 I know who you're dating.
00:16:52.000 You guys both love that sports bullshit.
00:16:52.000 Veronica.
00:16:56.000 But he starts dating this 20-year-old, and we've all seen our fellow old men do this, where they start dating.
00:17:02.000 I don't want to say, by the way, that divorce is a thing where a man leaves a woman because she gets too old, and then he wants a trophy wife.
00:17:10.000 That has happened occasionally.
00:17:11.000 It's a shit show, and we're all rolling our eyes when it happens, but it's not the pattern.
00:17:15.000 The pattern is 70% of divorce is instituted by women.
00:17:19.000 Now, that could be because men are neglecting them, but my experience has been they tend to marry a woman that was just like the one they left.
00:17:27.000 Similar age.
00:17:29.000 This whole idea of like the man gets a convertible and a 20-year-old girlfriend, celebrities do that all the time.
00:17:34.000 Guys my age don't really do that.
00:17:36.000 It's not a pattern.
00:17:37.000 They tend to just marry the woman they dumped, which is why I always say, well, why'd you do that in the first place?
00:17:43.000 You're basically with what you started with.
00:17:45.000 And I wrote an article about this called Divorce Your Wife, where I said, if things are going bad in your marriage, mentally divorce her, right?
00:17:54.000 And now, here's a woman who gets along with your kids really well.
00:18:01.000 Spoiler alert, it's the same woman.
00:18:05.000 She's my type, Brunette, whatever, American Indian.
00:18:09.000 I'm going to start courting her.
00:18:10.000 And then you don't even have to tell your wife you're doing this.
00:18:13.000 You divorce that wife and you recourt the same wife as a new woman.
00:18:18.000 Take her out on dates, buy her stuff.
00:18:20.000 She's great with the kids.
00:18:22.000 Yeah, because it's their mother, asshole.
00:18:25.000 And you start your marriage anew.
00:18:27.000 That's what you should do instead of getting divorced.
00:18:30.000 I wrote an article like that called Divorce Your Wife.
00:18:32.000 No one gave a shit.
00:18:33.000 But when I do a similar misdirect with that video I did 10 Things I Hate About the Jews, which was an homage to Israel and how much I love Jews, they love to just take that title.
00:18:44.000 They're not looking for truth.
00:18:45.000 They're looking to win.
00:18:47.000 Anyway, play this clip.
00:18:50.000 So why were we so upset?
00:18:51.000 Oh yeah, I forgot.
00:18:52.000 It's done as a documentary.
00:18:53.000 I really don't know.
00:18:54.000 Was it a total shot?
00:18:56.000 Yeah, completely.
00:18:57.000 Okay, pause.
00:19:00.000 So this is Mia Farrow.
00:19:02.000 Just learned that Sidney Pollock and Judy Davis are getting divorced, and she's pissed off.
00:19:08.000 And you realize when you watch the movie, she's pissed off because she might want to try a divorce.
00:19:12.000 And I remember this in the 80s.
00:19:14.000 Or maybe I'm injecting my own memories into that experience.
00:19:18.000 But I seem to remember this sort of like, wait, what's going on?
00:19:23.000 You're getting divorced.
00:19:23.000 Maybe I want to get divorced.
00:19:25.000 Boomers are so fucking selfish.
00:19:28.000 And I watched my Buddies cry all the time.
00:19:32.000 All my friends were crying when I was 10 years old because all their parents were getting divorced.
00:19:36.000 And for the boomers, it was all about them and how it makes them feel.
00:19:40.000 I need my freedom.
00:19:41.000 I feel like we're not in love anymore.
00:19:44.000 I want to go traveling.
00:19:45.000 What about your fucking kid?
00:19:47.000 Louis C.K., I love Louis C.K., I think he's hilarious.
00:19:50.000 But Louis C.K. always talks about how great it is to be divorced because I got out of a shitty marriage.
00:19:55.000 Yeah, but your kids get a third, at least, a third less dad than they had before.
00:20:01.000 In divorce, you see the kid every Wednesday and every second weekend.
00:20:06.000 That's called a good uncle.
00:20:07.000 That's not a dad.
00:20:09.000 A dad has to be there at all times.
00:20:11.000 You know what the biggest part of your job is as a parent?
00:20:14.000 Existing.
00:20:15.000 So I'm sitting downstairs reading the paper, and if my daughter has some terrible thing that happened to her, some boy she liked doesn't like her back or something, on the off chance she wants someone to talk to, I'm there.
00:20:25.000 I'm like a fireman.
00:20:26.000 There's a fire pole there.
00:20:27.000 Maybe there'll be no fires.
00:20:29.000 And there's just a fireman sitting there reading the paper.
00:20:32.000 But when there's a fire, I'm down the pole ready to rock.
00:20:37.000 Divorce takes the firemen away.
00:20:39.000 And houses burn down.
00:20:43.000 Play the clip.
00:20:44.000 They were so casual about it.
00:20:45.000 They didn't seem to be appropriately upset.
00:20:49.000 Were you hurt because Sally never mentioned anything to you?
00:20:53.000 Well, uh.
00:20:54.000 This is boring.
00:20:55.000 Can you scroll forward?
00:20:57.000 Let me see what other parts are in this.
00:20:59.000 Hard.
00:21:00.000 Does it do the cool thing where we see the boring part?
00:21:04.000 By the way, can you believe that America was attracted to Mir Pharaoh?
00:21:08.000 She was known as a smoke show.
00:21:12.000 No, thank you.
00:21:13.000 I don't.
00:21:14.000 I'm not a pedophile and I'm not gay.
00:21:16.000 I'm not interested in having sex with 12-year-old boys.
00:21:19.000 Who is attracted to Mia Faro?
00:21:23.000 What was that one?
00:21:26.000 Oh, she sucks.
00:21:28.000 Melancholy and confused.
00:21:30.000 And toward what end?
00:21:31.000 To articulate what knit with strategy?
00:21:34.000 Procreation?
00:21:35.000 This is her reading Woody Allen's script.
00:21:36.000 Can you scroll forward?
00:21:40.000 Boring.
00:21:41.000 Classical music.
00:21:42.000 Boring.
00:21:44.000 Pepkin from the calm dealt buttons to long for other lovers.
00:21:48.000 Was the notion of ever-deepening?
00:21:50.000 Maybe in the end.
00:21:52.000 That's Woody Allen being a genius, talking about infidelity.
00:21:55.000 The guy's a great writer, too.
00:21:58.000 I don't like he dated that woman and married her.
00:22:01.000 At least he's still married to her.
00:22:03.000 At least he didn't divorce the Asian.
00:22:06.000 Are there any other clips on YouTube?
00:22:08.000 I want Sidney Pollock fighting with his trophy wife when he finally realizes that it's not working and he goes, oh, my life is shit.
00:22:14.000 All right, let's pull up the whole movie.
00:22:16.000 Sorry, folks.
00:22:17.000 We didn't do a lot of prep work for this particular holiday episode.
00:22:20.000 It's July 4th tomorrow.
00:22:22.000 You should be partying.
00:22:23.000 Don't party too much, though.
00:22:24.000 Oh, it's such a good part.
00:22:26.000 Okay, this is great.
00:22:28.000 So go back a little bit.
00:22:30.000 So she started dating now.
00:22:34.000 Let me just pause it here.
00:22:35.000 So they've convinced themselves, Judy Davis and Sidney Pollock have convinced themselves that they no longer want to be married and they want to date other people.
00:22:42.000 Judy Davis goes along with it as all baby boomers did.
00:22:45.000 Women were victims of this bullshit open marriage crap.
00:22:48.000 And so this is her first date with a new guy because we're open like that.
00:22:53.000 And they're lying to themselves and she can't focus on the date because she's obsessed with the fact that her ex-husband of like a few days already has a new lover and she's trying to figure out who it is.
00:23:06.000 And this poor bastard is just trying to take a bitch to the opera.
00:23:12.000 I'll get it later.
00:23:14.000 Can I use the phone?
00:23:16.000 Yes, sure.
00:23:17.000 You all right?
00:23:18.000 Yes.
00:23:19.000 Yes, I'm looking forward to it.
00:23:20.000 She's Australian, by the way.
00:23:22.000 Oh.
00:23:23.000 It's a fake accent.
00:23:26.000 It's me.
00:23:27.000 You're living with her, aren't you?
00:23:28.000 You moved in together.
00:23:32.000 Don't lie to me, Jack.
00:23:33.000 You're living with someone.
00:23:35.000 Because I know.
00:23:36.000 Because I do.
00:23:38.000 Take your earrings off.
00:23:39.000 I heard.
00:23:41.000 Don't give me that shit.
00:23:42.000 It's been three fucking weeks.
00:23:44.000 How did you meet someone so fast?
00:23:47.000 Oh, bullshit.
00:23:48.000 You had to have known it before.
00:23:50.000 I was just watching this movie going.
00:23:52.000 You like the mess you made, you stupid baby boomers?
00:23:57.000 So fast?
00:24:02.000 I don't fucking believe it.
00:24:04.000 You were seeing whoever it is all along.
00:24:08.000 I'm worried this movie's making me look pretentious.
00:24:10.000 Well, of course I expected things to happen, but not so fast.
00:24:14.000 Are you that sure?
00:24:16.000 You're a pussy, dude.
00:24:19.000 No, I'm not.
00:24:21.000 Did you get this from the film?
00:24:22.000 Oh, God.
00:24:23.000 We have a whole movie here, right?
00:24:25.000 Well, indulge me.
00:24:27.000 Wait, this gets good, too.
00:24:32.000 Hi, you, uh, you.
00:24:35.000 I'm fine.
00:24:36.000 I'm fine.
00:24:37.000 Listen, if you're having some kind of personal thing.
00:24:39.000 Really?
00:24:40.000 I'm okay.
00:24:41.000 This is a New York I do not know.
00:24:43.000 Upper West Side Operas.
00:24:45.000 Don Giovanni.
00:24:46.000 Don Giovanni.
00:24:47.000 Don Juan story.
00:24:49.000 Oh, I can only think of it as Mozart.
00:24:52.000 Fucking Don Juan.
00:24:53.000 Fucking Don Juan.
00:24:54.000 They should have cut his fucking dick off.
00:25:00.000 Can I get you some more wine?
00:25:03.000 Please.
00:25:06.000 How great is she?
00:25:08.000 You know, we don't have to go.
00:25:11.000 No, no, no.
00:25:13.000 I'm not going to put my life on hold.
00:25:15.000 I've been dying to see this opera.
00:25:19.000 Excuse me one second.
00:25:20.000 This is great.
00:25:22.000 Hello, me again.
00:25:24.000 I know who she is.
00:25:25.000 Bullshit.
00:25:26.000 It's Gail.
00:25:28.000 Of course it's Gail.
00:25:29.000 She's been after you since she joined the firm.
00:25:31.000 You two like that sports bullshit.
00:25:34.000 I don't like Gail.
00:25:36.000 Sorry I'm indulging myself so much, but this movie is just like Animal House in the sense that every molecule of it is just such high quality.
00:25:45.000 Like every second of her is just heaven on earth.
00:25:49.000 But scroll ahead.
00:25:50.000 I've got easier laughs.
00:25:53.000 And Juliet Lewis is a nightmare.
00:25:56.000 Oh, this is good.
00:25:56.000 when they finally see that he's got this 20-year-old.
00:25:59.000 Oh, God!
00:26:06.000 That's poor Judy Davis dropping her shit.
00:26:10.000 No, but go ahead.
00:26:11.000 When they're in the bodega, it's a coincidence, huh?
00:26:14.000 I didn't get your name before.
00:26:15.000 Your name's Sam.
00:26:17.000 Right.
00:26:17.000 He's embarrassed of his concubines.
00:26:20.000 Yeah, we just had lunch.
00:26:22.000 What do you do?
00:26:23.000 Aerobics.
00:26:24.000 Great.
00:26:25.000 And I'm a trainer and some nutrition.
00:26:29.000 Hey.
00:26:30.000 Wait a minute.
00:26:30.000 Isn't this weird?
00:26:31.000 Holy shit.
00:26:32.000 This never occurred to me before.
00:26:33.000 Just pause.
00:26:35.000 Woody Allen is mocking Sidney Pollock for having such a dumb young girlfriend that has nothing going on.
00:26:43.000 Meanwhile, in real life, as this movie is going on, Woody Allen is divorcing the woman he's standing next to because he's going with some young Asian chick that obviously had nothing to offer.
00:26:55.000 She was probably 19 at the time.
00:26:57.000 So what are you making fun of, Woody?
00:27:00.000 You're doing it too.
00:27:01.000 I don't think I think it's possible.
00:27:02.000 Wait, it's totally vegetarian.
00:27:04.000 We can't tonight.
00:27:05.000 You know, you don't eat meat, do you?
00:27:07.000 No, no, no, no.
00:27:08.000 I don't eat meat.
00:27:08.000 Sometimes.
00:27:09.000 Well, I used to eat red meat every day, and then I gave it up.
00:27:12.000 And then I had some again recently, and I was totally blown away.
00:27:17.000 There's a little Mexican.
00:27:17.000 Hey, can we scroll forward a bit?
00:27:21.000 I really think no matter how hard we are.
00:27:23.000 That's too in-depth.
00:27:25.000 He weeps.
00:27:26.000 You know, keep going.
00:27:27.000 Close.
00:27:29.000 Keep going.
00:27:30.000 I want to be able to see the scroll.
00:27:31.000 Oh, this is the great part.
00:27:33.000 He's an editor.
00:27:37.000 So just pause.
00:27:38.000 Sidney Pollock is the best thing in the world.
00:27:41.000 I want to make out with him.
00:27:43.000 He is such a fantastic actor, especially when he's playing someone who's fucked.
00:27:49.000 And this guy, and this is why this is one of my favorite movies, this guy is a boomer who's just realizing now, with a Hitler mustache, that he fucked up.
00:28:00.000 And he shouldn't have divorced his wife.
00:28:03.000 And why does he have some 20-year-old dumb bitch that he has nothing in common with who teaches aerobics?
00:28:12.000 Why did he throw his marriage down the toilet?
00:28:14.000 And he's just finding out right now that Judy Davis is with Liam Neeson, who plays this super awesome hunk who runs an architecture magazine, which I guess is every woman's fantasy.
00:28:25.000 I didn't know that until this movie.
00:28:27.000 Women want to marry a guy who is editor for an architecture magazine.
00:28:30.000 Boring.
00:28:32.000 But yeah, it's hitting him now what he's done.
00:28:36.000 So what's the deal?
00:28:37.000 I mean, are they stealing one another?
00:28:40.000 We don't know.
00:28:40.000 No, I don't.
00:28:41.000 This has to be ad lib.
00:28:42.000 Don't hold me risky.
00:28:43.000 It's can't be lines.
00:28:44.000 You gave up a great one, then you gave up Sally.
00:28:47.000 Ken, he's just having a good time.
00:28:50.000 He's right.
00:28:51.000 He's right.
00:28:51.000 I know.
00:28:52.000 Luckily, we're together a lot of years.
00:28:52.000 I know.
00:28:54.000 She's a great lady.
00:28:56.000 I mean, not to worry, she'll be all right.
00:28:58.000 This guy, Michael, Michael something, seemed fine.
00:29:00.000 I can't, I'm, I'm not.
00:29:03.000 Don't tell me I'm out of line.
00:29:04.000 You're okay, right?
00:29:05.000 That blonde girl, Samantha, Sam.
00:29:07.000 She should be in the Olympics.
00:29:08.000 Hey, what do you think?
00:29:09.000 I mean, are they serious about each other?
00:29:12.000 No, we don't know.
00:29:14.000 New Yorkers sure were rich in the 80s.
00:29:17.000 That's an apartment?
00:29:21.000 We have to go.
00:29:22.000 It was good to see you.
00:29:23.000 What's going on?
00:29:24.000 Where is Sam?
00:29:24.000 We're going to go home.
00:29:25.000 But if astrology were true, it is true.
00:29:28.000 It is totally, totally, totally provable, you know?
00:29:33.000 That's just fun.
00:29:35.000 Did you hear that?
00:29:36.000 He goes, if astrology were true, and then she goes, it's totally provable.
00:29:41.000 And the other woman goes, provable how?
00:29:43.000 By gypsies?
00:29:48.000 Man, if that was that lip, I want to marry that woman.
00:29:52.000 Right?
00:29:53.000 You know, why wouldn't the position of the planets have an influence on our personality?
00:29:59.000 That's so easy to refute.
00:30:00.000 They know there was more crime during the full moon, right?
00:30:00.000 They know, right?
00:30:03.000 Well, who knows?
00:30:05.000 Well, you know, it's like who?
00:30:07.000 It's like the universe knows this stuff.
00:30:09.000 I mean, you guys, you're all so smart, but it's like you just don't get the fundamental basics.
00:30:15.000 Well, I would love to know anyone in New York.
00:30:18.000 She's been with me two months.
00:30:19.000 Her phone is.
00:30:22.000 This is why I love this movie.
00:30:23.000 Because Sidney Pollack personifies all these dumb decisions these baby boomers made in the 80s when they instituted divorce.
00:30:30.000 Because, you know, the positions of planets, it's like it is crucial to your life, you know.
00:30:36.000 I can't stress this strongly enough, you know, and your body.
00:30:40.000 I'm totally logical.
00:30:41.000 I mean, I would not put Sagittarius to believe in it.
00:30:44.000 Sam, we gotta go.
00:30:45.000 Come on.
00:30:46.000 Come on.
00:30:47.000 She's dumb.
00:30:48.000 It's hopefully good to see you guys.
00:30:50.000 Come on.
00:30:51.000 It's early.
00:30:51.000 Come on.
00:30:53.000 Come on.
00:30:53.000 We'll see you guys.
00:30:54.000 Come on.
00:30:54.000 Come on.
00:30:55.000 It was really nice meeting you.
00:30:57.000 Jesus Christ.
00:30:58.000 If you don't know what the hell you're talking about, why don't you try not talking?
00:31:03.000 They don't know what they're talking about.
00:31:04.000 They don't know what they're talking about.
00:31:05.000 You feel so goddamn obligated to make conversation all the time.
00:31:08.000 How about listening?
00:31:09.000 I'll make you a novel idea for you.
00:31:11.000 I'm so...
00:31:15.000 I can't believe you just did that to me.
00:31:17.000 That's right.
00:31:17.000 By the way, we're watching a documentary about Ryan Katsu Rivera right now.
00:31:21.000 Come on, let's get out of here before you make it any worse.
00:31:25.000 This is Ryan.
00:31:30.000 It's so stupid about it.
00:31:32.000 I'm so sick of listening to your crap about soybeans and Zen foods and a fucking Zodiac.
00:31:36.000 Get along, no.
00:31:37.000 Hey, get in the car.
00:31:39.000 Who do you think you're talking to?
00:31:40.000 Hey, listen to me.
00:31:41.000 You want to embarrass me in front of my friends?
00:31:43.000 They're trying to make an intellectual conversation.
00:31:45.000 You're sitting here jerking off about the tofu and crystals or something.
00:31:49.000 Believe me, then stupid.
00:31:51.000 There's nothing intellectual about that.
00:31:53.000 Come on, come on, come on.
00:31:54.000 Yes, you are.
00:31:56.000 Shut up.
00:31:57.000 Shut your mouth, will you?
00:31:59.000 I don't want to embarrass you.
00:31:59.000 What are you crazy?
00:32:03.000 No, I hate you, you stupid fucking asshole, asshole, asshole, friends.
00:32:08.000 Get in the car.
00:32:09.000 You're stupid asshole, asshole, asshole, friends.
00:32:11.000 What is that?
00:32:12.000 I don't know where it is.
00:32:12.000 Get in the car.
00:32:13.000 It doesn't matter where it is.
00:32:15.000 Here, get in the car.
00:32:17.000 God damn, I must have been out of my mind.
00:32:20.000 Crazy.
00:32:21.000 Holy crazy.
00:32:24.000 We're watching a movie together.
00:32:25.000 Do you like this?
00:32:29.000 God damn it.
00:32:32.000 How does he have a car in New York?
00:32:36.000 I guess they're in Long Island.
00:32:40.000 Get in the car!
00:32:41.000 What do you got?
00:32:42.000 Trying to be cute?
00:32:46.000 In the f- Oh, I don't believe you!
00:32:51.000 What am I doing?
00:32:52.000 Get in the car, you infant!
00:32:54.000 Get in the car!
00:32:55.000 That's my favorite line of all time.
00:32:56.000 Right.
00:32:58.000 Okay.
00:33:07.000 Anyway, that's a wonderful movie.
00:33:09.000 Get in the car, you infant.
00:33:12.000 Doesn't that just sum up everything that's wrong with boomers and their idiotic decisions?
00:33:17.000 And by the way, thank you to Micheloboltro for sponsoring this show.
00:33:21.000 You've done a wonderful job, and we really appreciate your patronage.
00:33:27.000 Get in the car, you infant.
00:33:29.000 Get fired.
00:33:30.000 Get in trouble.
00:33:32.000 Be brave.
00:33:33.000 And never stop fighting.
00:33:39.000 What are you going to show now?