Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 11, 2019


S02E35 - HEROES OF COLOR


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 11 minutes

Words per Minute

161.34044

Word Count

11,595

Sentence Count

1,276

Misogynist Sentences

50

Hate Speech Sentences

81


Summary

In this episode of Get Off My Lawn, Gavin and Dougie take a trip down memory lane to a time and place that may or may not have existed. They talk about Jack Stauber's "Very Quiet Music" and the mysterious disappearance of a beloved childhood friend. Plus, the story of the loneliest boy in town.


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.
00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:33.000 I'm always impressed by how heavy that thing is.
00:00:36.000 Good work, Sing.
00:00:38.000 Good work, inanimate object.
00:00:40.000 You became big.
00:00:42.000 He's big in the inanimate object scene.
00:00:46.000 What's going on, dudes?
00:00:48.000 Welcome to Wednesday's show.
00:00:50.000 We're going to also do, Is there a problem here?
00:00:55.000 No.
00:00:56.000 You look like there's a problem.
00:01:00.000 Everything's recording.
00:01:01.000 You're not screwing up?
00:01:02.000 Well, you just screwed up right there.
00:01:02.000 Nope.
00:01:05.000 The flow of the whole thing.
00:01:06.000 No, you're talking and you're showing the back of your head.
00:01:09.000 If I was a viewer, I would want to see the guy that's talking.
00:01:12.000 Me?
00:01:15.000 I'm not framed up properly.
00:01:17.000 But I could kind of scooch.
00:01:19.000 I'm not cared up properly.
00:01:24.000 That was Jack Stauber.
00:01:26.000 Very quiet music.
00:01:27.000 I was watching with my daughter last night.
00:01:29.000 She turned me on to him, and it was really quiet.
00:01:31.000 I thought there was something wrong with her computer.
00:01:33.000 We were checking her settings.
00:01:34.000 But I think he records quiet music.
00:01:38.000 Remarkably talented animator who looks really freaky.
00:01:42.000 And you should check out his whole page.
00:01:45.000 Let's look at some of that song.
00:01:47.000 Oh, this is a good one.
00:01:49.000 Dinner is Not Over.
00:01:51.000 It's very, very weird.
00:01:56.000 Super quiet.
00:02:01.000 That's him.
00:02:02.000 I tasted great.
00:02:04.000 I tasted moon.
00:02:06.000 I tasted dying and it tasted good.
00:02:10.000 But that's dessert.
00:02:12.000 And that is the dinner is gone.
00:02:14.000 But that's dessert.
00:02:16.000 We have our own Monty Pythons.
00:02:18.000 Still going forever.
00:02:19.000 Monty Python will never die.
00:02:22.000 Because it's a type of person.
00:02:24.000 A funny weirdo.
00:02:29.000 Play the video that we opened with, though.
00:02:32.000 Because it's really good too.
00:02:34.000 And that claymation stuff takes forever.
00:02:36.000 Pacing your hand.
00:02:38.000 Go back to the bar.
00:02:40.000 Now you're outside.
00:02:42.000 Classes are night.
00:02:44.000 Swipe at the back.
00:02:45.000 Startle my friend.
00:02:47.000 That's hard to die.
00:02:49.000 Keep that again.
00:02:52.000 All right, that's enough.
00:02:57.000 It's terrifying.
00:02:58.000 It is really weird.
00:02:59.000 Well, I'm worried about my daughter sometimes because that's to her just like normal on in the background while she draws.
00:03:08.000 Did you ever see Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared?
00:03:11.000 No?
00:03:12.000 It's along the same vein and it is pretty scary.
00:03:15.000 Is that right now you're pulling up?
00:03:17.000 Yeah.
00:03:19.000 It's like a merry-go-round.
00:03:22.000 Let's go on a journey.
00:03:24.000 A journey through time.
00:03:26.000 A time that's changing all the time.
00:03:27.000 Why is everyone so weird?
00:03:29.000 I don't know.
00:03:30.000 When I was a kid, there was just Monty Python.
00:03:32.000 Now weird is mainstream.
00:03:34.000 Is it because kids are bored?
00:03:36.000 Yeah, I think it's ADHD and it's also like shock value.
00:03:39.000 We have to do something crazy.
00:03:41.000 Because everything's been done?
00:03:42.000 Yeah.
00:03:44.000 You think the pendulum will swing in a way where like it makes, you know, like Jonathan Winters type of like the ideal comedy again?
00:03:52.000 Yeah, like Robin Williams and all the stuff that was kooky in the 70s must look so tame and boring now.
00:03:57.000 Yeah.
00:03:57.000 Turn it up though.
00:03:58.000 I can't hear anything.
00:03:58.000 Maybe we should look for our friend.
00:04:01.000 Isn't that what friends do?
00:04:03.000 And we have finished the chicken picnic.
00:04:06.000 Is he British?
00:04:07.000 Yes.
00:04:10.000 It gets really dark and talented.
00:04:13.000 That's good animation.
00:04:14.000 Yeah.
00:04:15.000 This is my favorite part.
00:04:16.000 Let me put it another way.
00:04:20.000 This is the story of Michael, the loneliest boy in town.
00:04:25.000 This is the story of Michael, the ugliest boy in town.
00:04:29.000 The ugliest boy in town.
00:04:31.000 They called him a freak.
00:04:32.000 So he lived on his own underground.
00:04:35.000 He lived on his own underground.
00:04:37.000 It's unsettling.
00:04:40.000 Check out the last video that I sent you of Jack Stabber because he's also funny too.
00:04:45.000 It's not just weird, although this might be considered weird to our viewers.
00:04:48.000 But this is a dad and his baby hanging out.
00:04:51.000 Hiccups are...
00:04:55.000 You're going to grow up to become a scientist.
00:04:56.000 Maybe you can explain what pop hiccups are.
00:05:00.000 Oh, Dougie, look, look.
00:05:01.000 There's a, um...
00:05:04.000 Hot dog roller.
00:05:06.000 Who the heck throws this out?
00:05:08.000 Looks like we're stopping at the pound today, Dougie.
00:05:10.000 Gotta bring home some dogs with this.
00:05:14.000 Just these?
00:05:15.000 Nope.
00:05:16.000 This is what it feels like to be a dad.
00:05:18.000 Okay.
00:05:21.000 Smell it.
00:05:21.000 Smell, Dougie.
00:05:22.000 That's probably not actually it.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, these are still cold.
00:05:28.000 Something smells good.
00:05:29.000 Remember, Dougie, all good things take time.
00:05:33.000 I remember back when I was a teenager, these are cold.
00:05:40.000 Guess this doesn't work, huh, Dougie?
00:05:44.000 I love you.
00:05:46.000 That's adorable.
00:05:50.000 It was in the garbage because it doesn't work.
00:05:54.000 What else?
00:05:55.000 So we got a lot to talk about today.
00:05:56.000 We got two shows today.
00:05:58.000 We're going to do this show, and then we're going to do a live stream podcast YouTube video that will be black and white, right?
00:06:06.000 Because that's what we do on Thursdays.
00:06:08.000 We're doing Thursday's show today because I got Tommy Robinson on, and I can't do it tomorrow because he'll be dying in jail.
00:06:17.000 He's getting sentenced today.
00:06:17.000 That's right.
00:06:20.000 It's not getting delayed.
00:06:22.000 I sent you another email, though, that says last minute video.
00:06:27.000 I changed my mind.
00:06:28.000 I wasn't going to show this, but I want to show it.
00:06:31.000 Yeah, he's going to be rotting in jail where everyone there wants to kill him.
00:06:34.000 He'll be in a Muslim prison, and it's going to be very bad for him.
00:06:37.000 So if you're busy tomorrow and bored today, you're in luck because there's a lot of content.
00:06:44.000 Rip Torn is dead.
00:06:46.000 Oh, is he?
00:06:47.000 Yeah.
00:06:48.000 Oh, fudge.
00:06:50.000 But he was about 88.
00:06:52.000 When you're 80, all men, especially white men, I don't know why I said that.
00:06:58.000 All men who live after 75, it's all gravy after 75.
00:07:10.000 I did say once on my TV show on free speech.tv back in 2019, I said I would hope to make it more than that, but this scenario, I guess, was nostradamus.
00:07:20.000 I predicted this exact scenario.
00:07:22.000 I'm on my deathbed.
00:07:26.000 I'd still go, all right, bye, everyone.
00:07:28.000 Have fun.
00:07:29.000 Would have liked to see more grandkids, by the way, you guys.
00:07:31.000 Not blown away by two.
00:07:34.000 I was hoping for a minimum of five, but I'm trusting that you'll get to it after.
00:07:39.000 I'm going to adopt some.
00:07:41.000 Adopt some black kids.
00:07:45.000 But you're pretty happy with that.
00:07:46.000 88.
00:07:47.000 I feel like 88, you'd sort of be going, all right.
00:07:50.000 I heard about some guy in Leadhill, Scotland, who lived to 110.
00:07:54.000 And he was screaming at this guy, have you forgotten me, God?
00:07:58.000 And there was a lightning bolt that came down right as he said that.
00:08:04.000 And it didn't kill him.
00:08:06.000 So maybe Godwin was like, oh, shit.
00:08:08.000 Yeah.
00:08:09.000 Lightning bolt was sort of like, yeah, I did.
00:08:11.000 Actually, sorry, I'll kill you in like two years.
00:08:13.000 So it's not too soon after the question.
00:08:18.000 But yeah, Rip Torn was, I think his best role was the manager.
00:08:21.000 He was in that terrible crap movie Dodgeball thing with the dodgeballs and the balling and the dodge.
00:08:28.000 But he was great as the manager of Larry Sanders, the Larry Sanders show, that fake reality show about a talk show.
00:08:37.000 Here's a fun little montage of him where he plays a total asshole.
00:08:42.000 And your poker size.
00:08:45.000 Any thoughts?
00:08:45.000 No, but I'd like to...
00:08:51.000 Don't take this as a threat, but I killed a man like you in Korea, hand to hand.
00:08:57.000 My boy doesn't want to do any more commercials.
00:08:59.000 From now on, you'll talk to me.
00:09:02.000 Understood?
00:09:03.000 No offense, Shelby.
00:09:05.000 Oh, man, I don't know.
00:09:07.000 Just answer the question in the last half.
00:09:10.000 I'm not taking the deal with CBS.
00:09:12.000 I apologize, sir.
00:09:16.000 We're not running some kind of intergalactic kegger here.
00:09:19.000 So he acts like a total jerk, boomer, a-hole.
00:09:26.000 But I think it's because he is.
00:09:28.000 I believe he beat the crap out of his wives, as a lot of boomers did.
00:09:32.000 The funny thing about domestic violence is it's so rare today.
00:09:37.000 But I think a lot of the sort of persecution that happens in court when they get so mad about it is because they're remembering the boomers of the early 70s, late 60s.
00:09:48.000 And those guys did get up to hitting their wives on a regular basis.
00:09:52.000 In fact, Norman Mailer stabbed his wife and punched her in the stomach when she was pregnant because he didn't want a baby.
00:09:59.000 Also, Rip Torn would beat his wife.
00:10:01.000 And Rip Torn and Norman Mailer were in this really crappy, self-indulgent boomer movie called Maidenhead or Matchstick or Maid Game or something.
00:10:10.000 Maidstone.
00:10:11.000 Maidstone.
00:10:13.000 And they shot it in a weekend because they're lazy and useless.
00:10:16.000 And they have naked kids running around because they're stupid hippies who don't care about their kids.
00:10:21.000 And just pause.
00:10:22.000 So Norman Mailer was, he played this director who was running for president.
00:10:28.000 And in this scene, Rip Torn is supposed to kill him.
00:10:31.000 And so he attacks him with the hammer.
00:10:33.000 But he actually hit Norman Mailer.
00:10:36.000 So they get into an actual fight.
00:10:37.000 And then the kids are running around crying.
00:10:40.000 Hippies were not peaceful.
00:10:42.000 They were self-indulgent dicks who beat each other with hammers.
00:10:45.000 Anyway, go ahead.
00:10:49.000 Wait, are you at the beginning?
00:10:51.000 Where's the fight?
00:10:52.000 Yeah, the fight's at the beginning.
00:10:54.000 You're way ahead of it.
00:10:56.000 That's the same Ripped Torn we just saw.
00:10:59.000 who's dead.
00:11:00.000 I don't like...
00:11:03.000 I don't like criticizing the dead.
00:11:05.000 Bang goes the hammer.
00:11:06.000 That's Norman Mailer.
00:11:08.000 One of the forefathers of political correctness.
00:11:13.000 And now this is all real.
00:11:15.000 When improv goes awry.
00:11:18.000 Oh, Norman Mailer also got his wife to have group sex with his friends.
00:11:23.000 She's biting him.
00:11:24.000 Boom.
00:11:26.000 Biting him.
00:11:27.000 I've been bitten before.
00:11:29.000 Me too.
00:11:30.000 Yeah.
00:11:30.000 Really?
00:11:31.000 In a fight.
00:11:31.000 Not too long ago.
00:11:34.000 Yeah, I was in a fight with this guy, and then we got in a lock, and I felt heat as he bit through my ear.
00:11:39.000 Jesus Christ.
00:11:39.000 And so I'm bleeding everywhere.
00:11:41.000 He denied it later, said it was my zipper on my jacket.
00:11:45.000 But my buddy brought up a great point at the time.
00:11:47.000 He goes, I know you want to go to the hospital because that's going to get infected, but you can't.
00:11:52.000 Because you went there to kick his ass because he slapped you a week ago.
00:11:55.000 And the story will become, Gavin went to beat up Simon Nixon and ended up in the hospital.
00:12:01.000 Right.
00:12:02.000 Not a good luck.
00:12:04.000 So, right, so we're ready to start the show now.
00:12:07.000 15 minutes in.
00:12:08.000 We'll start with the light news because that's how we get you in.
00:12:12.000 By the way, there's too much room up top and not enough room down here.
00:12:15.000 I don't like that this coffee mug has to be so close to me.
00:12:18.000 I could fix it on the fly.
00:12:19.000 Let's just fix it live.
00:12:21.000 Do you want this angle while I fix it or this one?
00:12:23.000 So you can see it.
00:12:24.000 Yeah, let's keep that.
00:12:26.000 No, let's do the wide so people can see behind the scenes.
00:12:30.000 Oh, I guess they won't be able to see.
00:12:31.000 You'll be cut out.
00:12:33.000 I have that song in my head.
00:12:37.000 He stole it from somebody to lean on.
00:12:41.000 Do-da-da.
00:12:43.000 Do-da-dee-da.
00:12:45.000 Yeah.
00:12:46.000 But then he makes it weird, and it's not like he's making any money on it.
00:12:50.000 He fixed it maybe 1%, but okay.
00:12:52.000 I can fix it 1%.
00:12:53.000 No, no, no.
00:12:54.000 Have you seen this irritating trait of...
00:12:54.000 Don't worry about it.
00:13:00.000 Isn't it a funny coincidence that my generation is the only one that's not bad?
00:13:05.000 We get divorced less, we're better parents, and we're less self-indulgent.
00:13:10.000 Millennials have begun spitting in our food.
00:13:13.000 Have you seen this trend?
00:13:14.000 Like going up to ice cream and licking it, or just opening a thing and going, Ew, dude.
00:13:21.000 Viral video shows man, go back.
00:13:24.000 Why did you actually spit and I wanted to show?
00:13:27.000 Yeah, they already showed the spit.
00:13:29.000 Okay.
00:13:30.000 Viral video shows man spitting into sweet tea before putting it back on shelf.
00:13:35.000 That's got to be a crime.
00:13:36.000 By the way, you'll notice I keep going to Summit News.
00:13:38.000 It's my new favorite site.
00:13:40.000 It's Paul Joseph Watson's news site.
00:13:42.000 Well, you know, they charged that girl in Texas that licked the ice cream.
00:13:46.000 Oh, they charged her?
00:13:47.000 Yeah, I believe they did.
00:13:49.000 These kids don't get that there's ramifications.
00:13:51.000 You know what this might be?
00:13:53.000 This might be all this like stopping fighting in school and making sure there's no conflict and calling the police every time there's the smallest problem.
00:13:59.000 Maybe they go, oh, there's no such thing as ramifications.
00:14:02.000 And the next thing you know, you're licking ice cream because you think it's funny.
00:14:05.000 But go back to that first one.
00:14:06.000 Sure.
00:14:07.000 And stop leaving the story.
00:14:10.000 I want to see the video.
00:14:12.000 I didn't.
00:14:16.000 You're a good guy.
00:14:21.000 I did it.
00:14:22.000 Nice.
00:14:23.000 Well, first of all, everything with the screw top is supposed to crack when you open it.
00:14:28.000 So when you buy that and it just opens without a crack, you should probably go, man.
00:14:31.000 You know, you guys finally know what it's like to be hated as much as I am.
00:14:35.000 I'm at the point now where when waiters and waitresses don't spit in my food, it tastes dry.
00:14:41.000 I'm used to juicier food than most.
00:14:45.000 So I don't like, say I was wearing a disguise and I went into a restaurant.
00:14:49.000 Everything would taste spitless and I don't think I'd enjoy it anymore.
00:14:52.000 I've become used to the taste of waitress spit.
00:14:56.000 You see this?
00:14:56.000 I don't know why they blur it out his face, but he's spitting on that piece.
00:14:59.000 Yeah, you don't want to hurt his feelings.
00:15:00.000 This is like Muslim terrorists who get 500 euros rewarded to them because they had their privacy invaded.
00:15:06.000 Who's that?
00:15:07.000 He took the video.
00:15:08.000 Turn it up.
00:15:09.000 He said, yeah.
00:15:10.000 So I put on my phone just in case he did it.
00:15:12.000 No.
00:15:13.000 You were in on it.
00:15:14.000 Minutes after the answer.
00:15:15.000 I thought it was disgusting.
00:15:17.000 I was just saying, yeah, that's awesome and funny because I'm kidding.
00:15:20.000 I was being sarcastic.
00:15:22.000 Go to social.
00:15:23.000 I sarcastically let him serve that.
00:15:25.000 So did that spitter get caught or was the ice cream liquor that got caught?
00:15:29.000 Ice cream liquor got caught.
00:15:30.000 There's another...
00:15:34.000 But there's an ice cream licking copycat arrested.
00:15:38.000 Identify her ice cream liquor.
00:15:40.000 It seems pretty easy to catch them.
00:15:41.000 You put it on social media.
00:15:43.000 I trace the social media account.
00:15:45.000 All right.
00:15:46.000 Anyway, this was fun in the news.
00:15:48.000 A bunch of Puerto Rican politicians have been arrested for corruption.
00:15:51.000 And if you recall, after the hurricane, Trump kept getting called racist because he doubted that Puerto Rico could handle the $70 million he had promised them.
00:16:03.000 And he saw it just going through into, like a sieve, going into the pockets of their corrupt politicians.
00:16:10.000 This was back in April.
00:16:13.000 Trump assails Puerto Rican leaders for corrupt hurricane recovery.
00:16:17.000 And he said, well, maybe you should read it as Trump.
00:16:21.000 His quote?
00:16:22.000 The best thing that ever happened to Puerto Rico.
00:16:22.000 Yeah.
00:16:25.000 The best thing that ever happened to Puerto Rico is President Donald J. Trump, he said.
00:16:31.000 So many wonderful people with such bad island leadership and with so much money wasted, a lot of money wasted, cannot continue to hurt our farmers and states with these massive payments and so little appreciation.
00:16:47.000 It's a mashup.
00:16:49.000 Yeah, mashup imitations.
00:16:52.000 And then later on he said, Puerto Rico got far more money, frankly, than Texas and Florida combined.
00:17:01.000 Yet their government can't do anything right.
00:17:03.000 The place is a mess.
00:17:05.000 Nothing works.
00:17:06.000 You got it.
00:17:08.000 What a horrible thing to say, Donald Trump.
00:17:11.000 You don't trust Puerto Rican politicians.
00:17:13.000 You think they're corrupt?
00:17:14.000 You think throwing money on that island just goes into rich politicians' pockets?
00:17:20.000 And he was right.
00:17:21.000 Several Puerto Rican government officials arrested.
00:17:24.000 Local media report.
00:17:25.000 And you know what's funny about the spin when you read this?
00:17:28.000 The ones that didn't got arrested are going, we have taken care of this.
00:17:32.000 We do not tolerate corruption in Puerto Rico.
00:17:34.000 They act like they're draining the swamp.
00:17:36.000 We managed to burrow out the two or three or four or five or six or seven who are corrupt.
00:17:42.000 And now we're back to perfection.
00:17:43.000 Maybe you should do the same, America.
00:17:46.000 Even though Puerto Rica is technically America, it don't sound like it much.
00:17:54.000 They all look very Caucasian, those Puerto Rican politicians.
00:17:58.000 Yeah, they do.
00:17:59.000 All right, I wanted to discuss briefly how weird white people are around black people.
00:18:04.000 There seems to be sort of two modes with them, and they're both dog-like.
00:18:09.000 I think white people tend to see black people as dogs.
00:18:13.000 And as an egalitarian who sees white people, I mean black people as human beings, I think I can spot it better than the average Joe.
00:18:21.000 It could be also because I'm not American, really, and I grew up without race.
00:18:26.000 Where I grew up in Ontario and Quebec, it was English versus French.
00:18:31.000 Language, language, language.
00:18:32.000 That was everything.
00:18:33.000 No one talked about if that guy's black or not.
00:18:36.000 Now they do.
00:18:37.000 Now there's Black Lives Matter Toronto, but it's ridiculous because the country's a few hours old.
00:18:41.000 They didn't have time for racism.
00:18:42.000 There was no slavery.
00:18:44.000 Canada is not racist.
00:18:46.000 It's the least racist place on earth.
00:18:47.000 Miles Davis, Sammy Davis Jr., they used to love coming up to Montreal to play jazz because they were not black there.
00:18:55.000 But of course, when there's a currency in victimhood, they have to make it.
00:18:59.000 So now Toronto pretends they're in Alabama in the 50s.
00:19:03.000 It looks so stupid.
00:19:05.000 Abolish slavery.
00:19:06.000 We are the freed slaves of Canada.
00:19:09.000 Maybe Indians can dog, but not you, I'm afraid.
00:19:13.000 And Quilter talks about that all the time.
00:19:14.000 Like immigrants from Peru who come here and complain about racism.
00:19:18.000 Well, you don't have the history, Peruvian.
00:19:21.000 And you killed Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman.
00:19:27.000 I like to make accentuating points with this kind of.
00:19:29.000 That is good.
00:19:30.000 That seals the deal right there.
00:19:31.000 Yeah, now you know.
00:19:34.000 so this is how they see black people: they're either totally cowed and scared, so they sort of bow down and almost like you know, when you're trying to subdue a wolf and you go lower than the wolf and crawl over, okay, it's okay, or they, you know, they accept the alpha dog in the pack and they sort of look down, scared and ashamed, hoping the dog won't bite them.
00:19:57.000 So, I was watching Anderson Cooper do this thing on this street artist, uh, JR, whatever the hell his name is.
00:20:02.000 He's the guy that does the big wheat pastes, and they take him back to his black neighborhood.
00:20:07.000 Also, complaining about racism in Paris is ridiculous.
00:20:10.000 Exact same as Canada.
00:20:11.000 Blacks have always been cherished there.
00:20:14.000 Yes, there's slums.
00:20:15.000 They're Arabic slums.
00:20:17.000 Anyway, and all of northern Paris is dedicated to Islam.
00:20:23.000 You can't go there with a Yamaka.
00:20:25.000 You'll literally get spat on.
00:20:27.000 Spat on and shat on and raped and abused, as Shane McGowan would say.
00:20:30.000 But anyway, see if you can pick up on Anderson Cooper's fear of a black planet when he says hi.
00:20:38.000 These other people exist.
00:20:40.000 They exist.
00:20:40.000 Exactly.
00:20:41.000 They exist.
00:20:44.000 Many of JR's friends in this Paris suburb, look, he's bowing so much.
00:20:50.000 His glasses fall off.
00:20:52.000 Now, we're going to have to do this frame by frame.
00:20:54.000 Go back to that.
00:20:56.000 So you don't go back that far.
00:20:57.000 All right.
00:20:58.000 So first, so first he gets the blue shirt's hand, right?
00:21:04.000 And that's an honor.
00:21:05.000 Thank you so much, Bull Mastiff.
00:21:07.000 But just pause.
00:21:08.000 Pause, pause, pause.
00:21:09.000 So he gets that guy and he goes, you know what?
00:21:11.000 That was very lucky of me to be able to shake the Bull Mastiff's hand.
00:21:15.000 I don't expect a Rottweiler too.
00:21:17.000 So I'm just going to get out of your way and be thankful that I got you.
00:21:21.000 And I think JR, the street artist there, the Arab with the glasses, he recognizes that we're dealing with an incredible beta cuck.
00:21:29.000 So he sort of circles around to let him fall to the edge of the pack like a runt.
00:21:34.000 Now go slower.
00:21:37.000 Okay.
00:21:38.000 So then the orange guy goes, hey, little runt loser, I'll shake your hand.
00:21:43.000 And Anderson Cooper's like, oh my God, I'm getting greedy here.
00:21:47.000 I get both blacks.
00:21:48.000 So then, no, no, you're going way too fast, Ryan.
00:21:51.000 Go back.
00:21:52.000 So he's so happy to get the second handshake that he goes, good dog.
00:21:56.000 And he touches the dog on the back, right?
00:22:00.000 Go ahead.
00:22:03.000 And he touches him on the back.
00:22:05.000 And he look, he looks away afterwards.
00:22:07.000 And then, look, he bows his head and goes off to the side.
00:22:11.000 And then his glasses start slipping.
00:22:15.000 That is.
00:22:17.000 I'm so lucky to have been able to touch both bull mastiffs.
00:22:21.000 Wow.
00:22:21.000 He pretty much is like, that's your show now.
00:22:23.000 I'm just going to show you.
00:22:25.000 Whose show is this?
00:22:26.000 He's like five feet behind.
00:22:27.000 He's like a Muslim woman.
00:22:28.000 And then he gets permission.
00:22:30.000 He gets body language permission to come forward and he's just ecstatic.
00:22:34.000 Thank you.
00:22:35.000 Thanks, God.
00:22:36.000 He's looking at them.
00:22:37.000 What are they saying?
00:22:39.000 Can I look at them yet?
00:22:40.000 No, no.
00:22:41.000 Push up your glasses again.
00:22:41.000 Face down.
00:22:43.000 Let's watch it one more time.
00:22:44.000 Okay.
00:22:45.000 Now that we know what's going on.
00:22:46.000 The weak and the cucks.
00:22:49.000 They exist.
00:22:50.000 Maybe it's a gay thing.
00:22:50.000 They exist.
00:22:53.000 Many of JR's friends in this Paris suburb.
00:22:56.000 JR's friends are awesome, and they let me touch them.
00:22:59.000 Isn't that weird?
00:23:00.000 Yeah, look, you would think that Anderson would go, you know, blue, blue shirt, and then go right to him.
00:23:07.000 He actually puts his head down between.
00:23:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:10.000 He looks away.
00:23:11.000 All right.
00:23:12.000 It's like he feels bad that he touched the Negro.
00:23:16.000 That was too greedy to me.
00:23:17.000 So it's a fascinating combination of reverence, but also seeing them as animals.
00:23:25.000 And that's why I use the example of a bull mastiff, almost like a lion.
00:23:29.000 Like you respect it, but it's also just an animal.
00:23:32.000 You can kill it.
00:23:35.000 I don't quite understand it.
00:23:36.000 It's bizarre to me, but it's what it might be is this latent insecurity, like you're better than me, but then also trying to overcome that.
00:23:47.000 So pretending that you're patronizing them.
00:23:50.000 You know what I mean?
00:23:51.000 I think the dog is a good analogy because they don't see them as equals or as humans, but there is a fear.
00:23:56.000 There's a sense of fear.
00:23:57.000 A bull mastiff could kill you.
00:23:58.000 A pit bull could kill you.
00:24:00.000 But also you feel that you're superior to it ultimately.
00:24:03.000 Now, the other end of the spectrum here, that was the, I'm scared of them.
00:24:08.000 The other end of the spectrum is they're my pets.
00:24:10.000 They're both the same.
00:24:11.000 It's both big dogs in both examples.
00:24:14.000 But Paul Tompkins is this pathetic, retarded clown who he wants, I have an axe to grind with him.
00:24:22.000 He once said to me that I was driven to white supremacy because I'm a failed comedian.
00:24:27.000 Sort of like Hitler was driven to Nazism because he was a failed painter.
00:24:30.000 But I don't think he's kidding.
00:24:32.000 Like, people believe that too.
00:24:34.000 They think that if his art teacher was nicer, he would have made it.
00:24:37.000 Do you not have that clip?
00:24:38.000 I do.
00:24:39.000 Okay.
00:24:39.000 What are you looking up?
00:24:40.000 Hulk Hogan?
00:24:41.000 Yeah, Hulk Hogan.
00:24:44.000 No, I'll show you.
00:24:47.000 But here's this.
00:24:49.000 Okay, this is another frame by frame.
00:24:50.000 So let me set the scene here.
00:24:52.000 Key and Peele, funniest guys around, some of the greatest sketches ever.
00:24:57.000 They did this awesome sketch about a gay guy.
00:25:00.000 Key, the bald one, was playing this really annoying gay.
00:25:00.000 What was it?
00:25:05.000 And Jordan Peele was saying, can you please shut up?
00:25:08.000 Can you please turn that music down?
00:25:09.000 Is it because I'm gay?
00:25:09.000 He goes, why?
00:25:10.000 Fuck you, blah, blah, blah.
00:25:12.000 And then the guy goes, just please, don't show that.
00:25:14.000 I don't want to see porn on your computer.
00:25:16.000 What are you doing?
00:25:17.000 And the guy goes, oh, wow, we got a homophobe over here.
00:25:20.000 And then at lunch, Jordan Peele's boyfriend shows up and they kiss.
00:25:26.000 I think his name was Gavin in the sketch, actually.
00:25:28.000 Jordan Peele wants to fuck me.
00:25:30.000 And they walked away together.
00:25:31.000 And then Key goes, oh, shit.
00:25:34.000 He's not a homophobe.
00:25:36.000 I'm just an asshole.
00:25:39.000 Pat Noswalt sent me that sketch back when he didn't have Trump derangement syndrome.
00:25:45.000 Just quality humor.
00:25:47.000 So Paul Tompskins gets these two guys who've done some of the best sketches ever.
00:25:51.000 And of course, what does he make it about?
00:25:53.000 Race black.
00:25:56.000 So he's showing them times that white people have Screwed up, right?
00:26:01.000 And he's like, here's a woman wearing blackface.
00:26:03.000 Actually, maybe go back.
00:26:05.000 What do we remember where we are with that?
00:26:06.000 145?
00:26:08.000 So this is like Gwyneth Proucher said, niggas in Paris.
00:26:11.000 And you don't do that, you silly girl.
00:26:13.000 Oh, and she dressed in blackface.
00:26:15.000 And that goes against the rules.
00:26:17.000 My fellow whites are so naive.
00:26:19.000 Watch my pet bull mastiffs ridicule them.
00:26:23.000 So start with that.
00:26:25.000 And they are good sports.
00:26:26.000 They go along with it.
00:26:27.000 Fine, we'll do racial stuff.
00:26:28.000 Fine.
00:26:29.000 It looks like this woman just informed her that this is not a private.
00:26:33.000 That this is not appropriate.
00:26:33.000 This is not okay.
00:26:34.000 She's walking away going, oh God.
00:26:37.000 She's looking at the horrified look on the photographer's face.
00:26:40.000 This is a face that says, what?
00:26:42.000 What happened?
00:26:42.000 What's going on?
00:26:43.000 Something's wrong?
00:26:43.000 What?
00:26:45.000 This is one from the vaults.
00:26:47.000 This is our old pal Gwyneth Paltrow.
00:26:49.000 Boy.
00:26:49.000 This is from, I think, He's broke.
00:26:59.000 And these guys are maybe 200 times more successful than him, both of them.
00:27:05.000 Go ahead.
00:27:06.000 And she was making a reference to a song.
00:27:09.000 Now, what do you think, Jordan?
00:27:10.000 Did she get any points for putting those asterisks in there?
00:27:12.000 I don't think she did that when she said it.
00:27:14.000 She wrote Niggas in Paris, which is a very popular song Kanye did.
00:27:17.000 In Paris.
00:27:18.000 And she's not allowed to mention it.
00:27:19.000 Even if she censors herself.
00:27:21.000 Oh, there it is.
00:27:22.000 That's my favorite part.
00:27:23.000 The Piesta Resistance.
00:27:24.000 That's it.
00:27:25.000 Remember Martin Short as Jiminy Glick?
00:27:25.000 That's why it's there.
00:27:28.000 And he'd have this like, yes.
00:27:30.000 And he's making fun of interviewers when he goes like this and goes like this and goes, Paul Tompkins is being a Martin Short character as he cherishes his little pet blacks.
00:27:40.000 Asher, asher, asher, asher, asher.
00:27:44.000 In Paris.
00:27:45.000 He's in slow motion.
00:27:48.000 Actually, get me out of it.
00:27:49.000 Yeah.
00:27:52.000 That is dark and weird.
00:27:56.000 Oh!
00:27:58.000 Yeah, that is gay, basically.
00:28:00.000 That's a gif.
00:28:04.000 A gif from the cringe lord.
00:28:06.000 A gift from God.
00:28:09.000 God, is that really worse than I remember it to be?
00:28:13.000 Is that subtle or is that...
00:28:13.000 What is this?
00:28:17.000 Like, if I was ever at a meeting or an interview or anything, and the person I was talking to went, mm-hmm.
00:28:23.000 I would think the person is a mentally ill gay.
00:28:26.000 A trans, in other words.
00:28:29.000 I'm going to go.
00:28:30.000 Oh!
00:28:31.000 Yeah, that is bad.
00:28:33.000 And this smile.
00:28:34.000 Got to scrub it off.
00:28:35.000 Scrub it off.
00:28:37.000 Speaking of scrubbing off, I really wish I could find this Hulk Hogan clip.
00:28:43.000 Well, basically what he does is he shakes.
00:28:45.000 Don't talk when people can't see your face.
00:28:47.000 Fudge.
00:28:47.000 Because I'm looking for it, though.
00:28:48.000 I can't show the camera and me.
00:28:50.000 Well, just tell me what you're looking for, then.
00:28:52.000 I'm looking for a video of Hulk Hogan, and after he shakes...
00:29:01.000 Looks like you're wearing your underwear.
00:29:04.000 I'm wearing my underwear?
00:29:05.000 I am wearing my underwear.
00:29:07.000 Crap.
00:29:08.000 Anyway, so he shakes the hands of two fans that happen to be black, and then afterwards, it's like at that gas, like the gas station kiosk thing, and he grabs paper towels and wipes his hands off.
00:29:19.000 It probably looks bad.
00:29:20.000 I think he was just probably on his way there anyway, but yeah, he's innocent.
00:29:23.000 Yeah.
00:29:24.000 I mean, I err on the side of innocence with these things.
00:29:26.000 I don't think Gwyneth Paltrow should be in shit for saying a song.
00:29:29.000 That woman wore blackface.
00:29:31.000 It's because it's her favorite character in Orange, the new black.
00:29:33.000 No one can really explain to me why you're not allowed to make your face brown if you're dressing as a black person.
00:29:39.000 Like, I remember hearing about this kid who got kicked out of school because on MLK Day, he was doing a presentation as MLK and he browned up his face.
00:29:47.000 He didn't know.
00:29:48.000 Well, blackface, this was explained to me on Fox News once, blackface is what they named the Jim Crow laws after.
00:29:56.000 Yeah, okay.
00:29:57.000 But when you look back at it, there was definitely a percentage of it that was lampooning in a negative stereotypes.
00:30:05.000 But there was also a large swath.
00:30:07.000 Some studies, there was an article on Reason.com that said 80% of it was an homage because white people were square and boring Puritans back then, and they saw black people having parties and having culture and having slang and having music, and they acted them out because it was exciting to them.
00:30:24.000 White people have always been fascinated by black people.
00:30:27.000 They find them exciting.
00:30:28.000 I found the clip.
00:30:31.000 I have to log into content.
00:30:32.000 Oh, frick it.
00:30:33.000 I'm sorry.
00:30:33.000 Oh, never mind.
00:30:34.000 Wow, you're great at your job.
00:30:37.000 Shouldn't you always be logged into Facebook?
00:30:39.000 Yeah, something happened where it logged me out.
00:30:43.000 And now you can't remember your password?
00:30:45.000 You're my grandmother.
00:30:47.000 And you're younger than me.
00:30:48.000 I'm not sure if you can work here.
00:30:49.000 Maybe you're banned.
00:30:51.000 Maybe.
00:30:53.000 Yeah, I can't log in.
00:30:56.000 Wow, you're banned if you work near me.
00:30:59.000 Just in the proximity of.
00:31:00.000 You can't put up my picture and you can't be my friend.
00:31:14.000 Washing the hands after.
00:31:15.000 Yeah, that's not exactly evidence.
00:31:18.000 Plus, I bet you Hulk Hogan hangs up with black people all day every day.
00:31:23.000 Also, as someone who puts grease in their hair, sometimes you don't realize how greasy you are.
00:31:28.000 And then you shake someone's hand and you feel it's slime and you go, oh my God, that guy must be so grossed out.
00:31:32.000 Because my hands are often cold and greasy because of this crap.
00:31:37.000 So then after I go, oh, God, that's like having bad breath.
00:31:40.000 And I go wash my hands.
00:31:42.000 I get the stink off.
00:31:43.000 Shtink.
00:31:45.000 Okay, I thought we would have, speaking of African-American, the African-American experience, I think I would like to introduce to you a little piece I put together for today's show called Heroes of Color.
00:32:00.000 And on this particular episode, we'll be looking at great African-American entertainers and politicians, activists, and the wonderful people who shaped them, who helped them become who they are today.
00:32:17.000 And I think it helps you understand that person and that person's culture a lot better, the culture that they grew up in.
00:32:25.000 So this was inspired by Kamala Harris, who was talking about busing, Which I guess happened in Montreal, where she went to high school.
00:32:35.000 But yeah, let's start with my favorite example, which is Corey Booker.
00:32:40.000 Now, Corey Booker's parents were, this was sent in a separate email, by the way.
00:32:46.000 You know what I'm talking about?
00:32:47.000 Got it.
00:32:48.000 Corey Booker's parents were the first black executives at IBM.
00:32:52.000 They were phenomenally wealthy in the 60s, and they moved to an area called Harrington Point Park, Harrington Park, New Jersey.
00:33:01.000 There's some real estate available in Harrington Park.
00:33:04.000 The racial makeup of the borough was 83.52%, with blacks being 0.68%.
00:33:14.000 So just over half a percentage.
00:33:16.000 But that's 2016.
00:33:17.000 Back when Corey moved there, it was 100% white.
00:33:20.000 Oh, there's a great picture of Harrington Park.
00:33:22.000 It sort of sums up Corey Booker's lifestyle with the kayaks.
00:33:25.000 I mean, I'm sure back in his day, it was canoes and the rowing club.
00:33:29.000 But Harrington Park is who Corey Booker is.
00:33:33.000 Those are Corey Booker's people, if you see them there.
00:33:35.000 And I think while we're thanking Corey for his remarkable contributions to politics and activism, we should thank Harrington Park and their culture, their beautiful waterfront, their beautiful real estate, their incredible academic institutions, because they created Corey Booker.
00:33:52.000 And the Corey Booker experience, if that was a band, all the musicians would be in kayaks.
00:34:00.000 So thank you, Harrington Park.
00:34:02.000 Also, I would like to thank Westmount High School in Montreal.
00:34:06.000 Now, Westmount, if you're familiar with Westmount, it's pretty much 100% Jewish.
00:34:12.000 It's a Jewish place.
00:34:14.000 And I assume this high school has similar ratios.
00:34:17.000 Now, this is it today.
00:34:19.000 Kamala Harris must have been there in the 80s, early 80s, I assume.
00:34:23.000 She's my age.
00:34:25.000 Or a little bit older, so maybe late 70s, where it would be much less diverse than you see here.
00:34:32.000 Westmount, of course, was much more populated back in the 70s, but separatism and terrorism from the separatists pushed a lot of the rich white people over to Toronto.
00:34:43.000 But back when Kamala was there, it was exactly like Harrington Park, but more Jewish.
00:34:50.000 So I would like to thank Westmount High School in Montreal for shaping the Kamala experience, the Kamala Harris we know today.
00:34:57.000 And also, her black father, whose family owns slaves, was not around.
00:35:02.000 Let's have a moment of silence for that.
00:35:04.000 That's unfortunate.
00:35:05.000 So she didn't really get to, her parents divorced when she was seven.
00:35:10.000 And her mom, Shyamala Gopalan.
00:35:15.000 Shyamala Gopalan was a breast cancer doctor who worked in Montreal.
00:35:20.000 And that's who raised her.
00:35:22.000 So she didn't just have the white Jewish experience when she was in Montreal or the Canadian experience also.
00:35:28.000 She also had the Indian experience with her Indian mother.
00:35:30.000 It's not easy to find pictures of her Indian mother.
00:35:33.000 She's usually surrounded with more black people.
00:35:36.000 But I guess the people and the institutions I want to thank for Kamala Harris would be Montreal, Westmount, the Jewish people, and the Indian people, Shyamala Goapalan.
00:35:50.000 Which brings us to one of the greatest black politicians of all time, Barack Obama.
00:35:57.000 And while we're thanking him, I think we have to look at who raised him.
00:36:02.000 Much like Kamala Harris, his black dad was not around, unfortunately.
00:36:07.000 So he was raised in Hawaii by this turgid communist, Ann Durham.
00:36:14.000 I think Ann's father, another academic communist, also raised him.
00:36:20.000 So when we're thanking everyone for Barack, I think we have to also thank Hawaii and Hawaiian academics and white communists, right?
00:36:29.000 If you go down a little bit more, I think her grand, there we go.
00:36:33.000 That's the grandfather.
00:36:34.000 That's who raised him.
00:36:35.000 That's who shaped him.
00:36:35.000 That's who Barack Obama is.
00:36:39.000 Finally, no, not finally.
00:36:40.000 This sort of brings me to entertainers too, like Drake.
00:36:44.000 Oh, there we saw.
00:36:45.000 I think that was the one time his dad visited him for an hour and explained to him.
00:36:51.000 His dad was an incredibly intellectual communist economist.
00:36:56.000 Just go to the next one.
00:36:58.000 Communist economist who wrote an essay suggesting we raise taxes to 100%, which I believe is higher than Soviet Russia's numbers.
00:37:10.000 So kudos for that contribution.
00:37:13.000 Thank God.
00:37:14.000 And more mild Marxism is what really drove Obama's career.
00:37:18.000 But anyway, it's not just politicians who have been shaped by Montreal high schools and Harrington Park, New Jersey.
00:37:26.000 Look at entertainers like Drake.
00:37:28.000 His dad, unfortunately, was not around.
00:37:31.000 But Sandy Graham was there, Jewish woman in Montreal, helping him to grow the Canadian, again, like Kamal Harris, that wonderful Canadian education, just one province over in Ontario, making Drake who he is, employing him.
00:37:47.000 He was a successful actor on DeGrassy Jr.
00:37:50.000 High before he was a rapper.
00:37:56.000 And that brings us to, of course, Mariah Carey.
00:37:58.000 You'll see here at the BET Awards all the time, celebrating black musicians.
00:38:03.000 Unfortunately, her father was not around.
00:38:05.000 And she was raised by her mother, Patricia Carey, wonderful woman, single mom who busted her ass, much like Kamala Harris's mom, Obama's mom, Drake's mom, and Alicia Keys' mom.
00:38:18.000 Alicia Keys, of course, her father, unfortunately, was not around.
00:38:22.000 And she was raised by Tariah Joseph, wonderful woman, hardworking gal.
00:38:28.000 She was a redhead in her earlier days.
00:38:30.000 Now I think she's bald.
00:38:32.000 And she kind of looks like Melissa Harris Perry's mother, Diana Gray.
00:38:37.000 And unfortunately, Melissa Harris-Perry's father was out of the picture pretty early in the game.
00:38:43.000 And I believe she was raised in the Midwest, you know, potato country, and lots of country music and Christmas trees and, you know, fries and meatloaf and what else?
00:38:57.000 A fridge that dispenses water.
00:39:01.000 Yeah, not big on the hot sauce.
00:39:03.000 Not a lot of spices in Melissa Harris-Perry's childhood food.
00:39:08.000 Maybe like Mrs. Dash?
00:39:10.000 The lemon pepper.
00:39:11.000 The mac and cheese was just mac and cheese with nothing on top, nothing spicy about it.
00:39:17.000 The fried chicken did not have salt and pepper and ketchup the way it does in, say, East New York.
00:39:24.000 But Diana Gray stuck by Melissa and raised her the best she could and sent her to wonderful schools in the Midwest.
00:39:31.000 And that reminds me of a homeless orphan named Steve Harvey who was taken in by a wonderful family.
00:39:43.000 I believe this was also in the Midwest.
00:39:44.000 I'm not sure of the exact geographic location, but here are the people who raised poor Steve when no one else wanted him.
00:39:51.000 He's very emotional about it, obviously.
00:39:52.000 You want to say hi to your girlfriend?
00:39:54.000 Who, Becky there?
00:39:56.000 Yeah?
00:39:57.000 Amen.
00:40:01.000 Say hi.
00:40:02.000 Hey, Becky.
00:40:03.000 Hi, Steve.
00:40:07.000 I think when Steve was a little boy, he saw his stepmom as his girlfriend.
00:40:13.000 Not in a sexual way.
00:40:15.000 This one got me.
00:40:16.000 I'm not going to lie.
00:40:17.000 I saw this before.
00:40:20.000 Well, I assume every time we loud Steve Harvey's success, these people are prominently featured as someone who loved him, took him in, helped him get educated, and made him the man he is today.
00:40:34.000 Which brings me to my favorite example, of course, Colin Kaepernick, who, just like Steve, was abandoned by both his mother and his father.
00:40:43.000 The previous cases, it's all the dad, but his mother and his father stuck around.
00:40:47.000 I mean, sorry, his mother and his father did the opposite of stick around.
00:40:51.000 And strangely enough, I don't think they're called the Kaepernicks.
00:40:57.000 I forget their names.
00:40:58.000 Oh, you're probably kicked off of Pinterest.
00:41:00.000 Oh, crap, you're right.
00:41:01.000 Because you've got to sign in.
00:41:03.000 I'm kicked off it, too.
00:41:04.000 But there's another one.
00:41:04.000 I have another link from a guy named Clay Travis showing.
00:41:08.000 That's the link below that.
00:41:09.000 Yeah, there you go.
00:41:11.000 And you can see the mom and the dad and the two sisters and the brother who raised him.
00:41:17.000 And, you know, I assume was a lovely Midwestern experience with a great education.
00:41:25.000 It led to a football scholarship and eventually the NFL.
00:41:29.000 And I assume when Colin talks about his upbringing and his experience, he lauds his family and his environment as shaping who he is.
00:41:39.000 So to Kamala Harris and to the culture that shaped her.
00:41:47.000 Let's now go to homeless Gavin, who will be discussing the untold truth of Mr. Joe Rogan.
00:41:54.000 Dying and it's a state.
00:41:56.000 I've tasted heartbreak.
00:41:59.000 I've tasted bone.
00:42:01.000 I've tasted dying and it's a state.
00:42:03.000 This kind of shit pisses me off.
00:42:07.000 I hate clickbait.
00:42:09.000 I like, I'm okay with headlines that are misleading and they're bombastic and hyperbolic, like why I hate Ryan Ketsu Rivera, 10 Reasons Why, 10 Things I Hate About the Goddamn Jews.
00:42:20.000 And then you watch it and you go, oh, he hates that they don't love Trump because Trump loves them.
00:42:26.000 I get it.
00:42:27.000 It's tongue-in-cheek.
00:42:28.000 But to just lie in a headline and waste people's time, it's kind of my problem with prank calls.
00:42:35.000 If a prank call isn't choosing the right victim, it's not funny.
00:42:39.000 And when you waste our time with a headline like, The Untold Truth of Joe Rogan, this has like a billion hits.
00:42:46.000 And you watch and go, oh, okay, is he a pedophile?
00:42:49.000 What's the story here?
00:42:50.000 Let's check out The Untold.
00:42:51.000 I thought I know Joe Rogan.
00:42:52.000 I've hung out with him a bunch of times, been to a fight with them.
00:42:55.000 I've been to comedy shows with them.
00:42:57.000 I've been on a show a couple times.
00:42:58.000 I thought I knew him.
00:43:00.000 Let's see what I don't know about someone I consider a friend.
00:43:04.000 You might know him as a UFC commentator, a stand-up comedian, the host of Fear Factor, or the mastermind behind the wildly popular Joe Rogan Experience podcast, which earns over 30 million downloads a month.
00:43:15.000 But no matter how you know Joe Rogan, chances are there are still some things about him you don't know.
00:43:20.000 Here's a look at the untold truth of Joe Rogan.
00:43:22.000 He destroyed Carlos Mencia.
00:43:25.000 Joe Rogan is almost solely responsible for ruining the reputation of once popular comedy central filmmaker Carlos Mencia, according to Rogan's blog, while hosting an event at West Hollywood's comedy store.
00:43:35.000 Who in the Sam hell doesn't know that Joe Rogan tore Carlos Mencia a new ass by catching him stealing, I believe, about 40 major jokes?
00:43:46.000 That is, I think that's how everyone got to know Joe Rogan.
00:43:50.000 Sure, we saw him on radio days or whatever, and some in the LA comedy scene had heard of him too.
00:43:57.000 But what really brought him to international fame was that he had the balls to call out Carlos Mencia.
00:44:04.000 And guess where this guy heard about it?
00:44:06.000 Oh, on Joe Rogan's blog.
00:44:09.000 So in the untold truth of Joe Rogan, we have something from the guy's blog?
00:44:16.000 Why are you wasting my time with this crap?
00:44:20.000 For in 2007, Rogan made a joke about Mencia's reputation in the stand-up community for stealing other people's jokes.
00:44:26.000 Mencia happened to be in the audience and took exception, leading to a confrontation live on stage.
00:44:31.000 "You are a good performer.
00:44:34.000 You do very well with other people's sh*t.
00:44:36.000 I do well with other people's sh*t." When the dust settled, Mencia's image was in tatters and his career hasn't been the same since.
00:44:44.000 He hosted The Man Show, created by Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla.
00:44:48.000 The man show aired again.
00:44:49.000 I'm sorry, but just keep it rolling.
00:44:51.000 I kind of feel like this is low-hanging fruit.
00:44:53.000 But it's the untold truth of Joe Rogan, and you're telling us that he was on a major network cable show?
00:45:03.000 Am I annoyed?
00:45:04.000 Yeah.
00:45:09.000 They wouldn't take any of our executive Zoe Franklin turning down the show, with Rogan stating on his podcast that he felt a woman shouldn't have been running a show created for men.
00:45:20.000 So I look at them and I go, told you?
00:45:23.000 The untold truth of Joe Rogan was on the Joe Rogan podcast.
00:45:27.000 Joe still featured segments where contestants tried not to get aroused on stage.
00:45:32.000 I feel like I'm wasting your time with this.
00:45:33.000 I'm actually feeling kind of guilty because I feel like this is making fun of like TMZ or something.
00:45:39.000 During an episode of Fear Factor, featuring the pastoral.
00:45:42.000 Here's one.
00:45:42.000 I actually didn't know this.
00:45:44.000 I did not know that he fought a contestant on Fear Factor.
00:45:46.000 Let's check out this juicy gossip.
00:45:51.000 So she was mad and just straight up punched him.
00:45:53.000 And she punched him to prevent violence, leading Victoria's husband Jonathan.
00:45:59.000 And then they yelled at each other.
00:46:01.000 And then, for what, four seconds, he put him in a hole?
00:46:05.000 When the Miz is the voice of reason, the untold truth of Joe Rogan is he held a guy who was trying to fight him once.
00:46:12.000 He also almost fought Wesley Snipes.
00:46:16.000 Rogan's fighting credentials are.
00:46:18.000 I'm getting cloaked in guilt here because this seems ridiculous.
00:46:22.000 Is this Dom Ryan that I put this video on?
00:46:24.000 And he won four Massachusetts Taekwondo Championships.
00:46:27.000 That's immense fitness.
00:46:29.000 Something Wesley Snipes almost learned the hard way.
00:46:31.000 Yes, it's true.
00:46:32.000 When actor Wesley Snipes got into trouble with the IRS, he looked to make some cash with a stunt UFC fight.
00:46:38.000 He's saying it on Joe Rogan.
00:46:42.000 He's saying, "I'm gonna get a hold of him and I'm gonna squeeze the sh*t out of him.
00:46:46.000 They're gonna give me a lot of money and he's probably not even gonna get hurt." So much of what we watch.
00:46:51.000 Unfortunately, Snipes pulled out of the fight at the last minute.
00:46:54.000 You want to see if there's one thing we can learn from this?
00:46:57.000 Well, the hold that you put in that show for 10 seconds?
00:47:01.000 He loves drugs.
00:47:02.000 Did you know Joe Rogan loves drugs?
00:47:04.000 I designed that logo.
00:47:06.000 Did you know that?
00:47:08.000 Joe Rogan smokes marijuana.
00:47:09.000 Did you know that?
00:47:10.000 You think you know Joe Rogan?
00:47:12.000 You think you like Joe Rogan?
00:47:14.000 He smokes marijuana.
00:47:16.000 And it's not just wake-up call.
00:47:18.000 It's only in Rolling Stone.
00:47:19.000 DMT and other psychedelic drugs.
00:47:22.000 Not only does he drop acid recreationally, Oh, and invite you to get it.
00:47:25.000 You know, just pause.
00:47:26.000 You know how China will have these AI things where they do the news and it's CGI and a robot will read the news to you?
00:47:34.000 We laugh at that.
00:47:35.000 We do that too.
00:47:37.000 This is robot news.
00:47:39.000 So much of this fucking clickbait is robot news.
00:47:42.000 So much of the internet is just robot garbage.
00:47:48.000 Dennis McKenna onto his podcast to discuss so-called mindset.
00:47:51.000 Shut up.
00:47:52.000 I want to punch the guy who narrated this.
00:47:56.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:48:01.000 You know what?
00:48:01.000 Stop.
00:48:02.000 Stop.
00:48:03.000 Let's stop this video.
00:48:04.000 I'm wasting your time.
00:48:04.000 I'm sorry.
00:48:05.000 Gavin, back to you.
00:48:14.000 Hey, baby.
00:48:15.000 Hey, baby.
00:48:23.000 That's Kamala Harris's mother's name.
00:48:25.000 It sounds like that.
00:48:26.000 That is why.
00:48:27.000 That is why.
00:48:28.000 You are my shibi-doo-do-doo.
00:48:30.000 Yeah.
00:48:32.000 What's your job?
00:48:34.000 I do the deep voiced parts in an acapella band.
00:48:38.000 So I'll be like, yeah, boop up.
00:48:44.000 Like, I worked with Pentatonics for a long time.
00:48:47.000 I did their, yeah.
00:48:52.000 I don't think I could be friends with someone in an acapella band.
00:48:55.000 Sure, you can.
00:48:56.000 Although I'm friends with Tom Schlu, and he's in a barbershop quartet.
00:48:59.000 Yes, he is.
00:49:01.000 That's not gay in this sense, but it's pretty gay.
00:49:07.000 Wait, have you not had the bug this entire show?
00:49:09.000 No, no, I just flicked it.
00:49:10.000 I flicked my bug.
00:49:14.000 I had a good idea with my kids the other day.
00:49:16.000 There should be a bug man.
00:49:18.000 Just like Aquaman can say like 10,000 piranhas.
00:49:24.000 You should be a bug guy where you can like sick wasps on someone.
00:49:27.000 Or say there's a lot of mosquitoes around.
00:49:30.000 You just summon dragonflies and they eat them all.
00:49:32.000 That is cool.
00:49:33.000 Or you could have just a swarm of wasps.
00:49:34.000 Is it because it's too hard to draw?
00:49:36.000 I don't know, but it's maybe.
00:49:37.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:49:38.000 You could have like a billion millipedes go into someone's house and just ruin it.
00:49:42.000 Yeah.
00:49:42.000 It's more useful than Aquaman is.
00:49:47.000 Exactly.
00:49:48.000 Yeah.
00:49:48.000 It's way more.
00:49:49.000 One time.
00:49:50.000 My wife insisted we all watch, we have movie night once in a while, and for movie night, she chose Aquaman.
00:49:55.000 And I'm just like, first of all, you can swim like this at a million miles an hour.
00:50:01.000 Why are you on a fish?
00:50:03.000 Right.
00:50:03.000 With all that resistance going.
00:50:07.000 It's idiotic.
00:50:08.000 They're riding dolphins around.
00:50:09.000 You're faster than a dolphin.
00:50:10.000 Just lazy.
00:50:11.000 Oh, and the CGI was so gross.
00:50:14.000 My daughter hates CGI.
00:50:16.000 Remember Ant-Man?
00:50:18.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:50:18.000 Yeah, Antman was pretty good.
00:50:19.000 Yeah, he uses bugs, but he doesn't summon them.
00:50:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:23.000 No, he does summon them.
00:50:24.000 He has a bunch of ants.
00:50:25.000 He's got a bunch of ants.
00:50:26.000 And uncles, I'm sure.
00:50:28.000 That was a really funny joke, Dr. Zeus.
00:50:32.000 Yeah, you know what's ironic about that Homeless Gavin video is it's clickbait, and they offer substance, and then you click on it, and it's all bullshit.
00:50:40.000 And the irony is Joe Rogan's the opposite.
00:50:42.000 It'll just be like talking to a chemist, and then you click on it, and it's three hours of incredible information about how our lives are affected by carcinogens or something like that.
00:50:53.000 So you're taking one of the most substantive people on YouTube and making a stupid, useless, substanceless video.
00:51:02.000 It's basically like the life hacks where we glue an eraser here, stick a tack in it, and say, you can hang a rubber band if you want.
00:51:11.000 All right.
00:51:12.000 We're running out of time.
00:51:14.000 In fact, we're over time.
00:51:16.000 But let's check out the mail bag.
00:51:21.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:51:25.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:51:31.000 Let me touch you.
00:51:32.000 Too challenging for you?
00:51:35.000 What I was trying to do was not important.
00:51:38.000 No, it's important.
00:51:39.000 Let's learn from your mistakes, everyone at home.
00:51:43.000 While you make a mistake now.
00:51:46.000 I don't like to have the bug on the thing because it interferes with the text for the logo.
00:51:53.000 So I try to.
00:51:54.000 And where's the bug now, Genie Ars?
00:51:59.000 Wow.
00:52:02.000 Bad at his job, bad at his job.
00:52:04.000 Always ready to screw up all the little things.
00:52:07.000 Sung to the tune of one at a time by the Who from the album It's Hard.
00:52:11.000 Bad at his job, bad at his job.
00:52:13.000 I can't even summon one bug back to the.
00:52:17.000 Oh, that wasn't bad, actually.
00:52:18.000 Thanks.
00:52:20.000 All right, this girl who I'm not on dating apps.
00:52:23.000 They happened after I became married.
00:52:25.000 I was married in 2005, and dating apps weren't that common back then.
00:52:31.000 Of course, I had been monogamous before that for a little bit, an hour.
00:52:36.000 So I wasn't on.
00:52:38.000 And plus, I don't know, in New York in the early aughts, it just wasn't what you did.
00:52:41.000 There was enough drugs and booze to get all the girls you want.
00:52:46.000 God, it was slut central.
00:52:47.000 Plus, I ran vice, so that wasn't a challenge.
00:52:51.000 But anyway, I'm just amazed at how bad it is at the pictures.
00:52:57.000 Men don't seem to understand how women's brains work, and the pictures they put up on these dating apps are gay, for lack of a better word.
00:53:09.000 Now, I sent you these in a separate email.
00:53:10.000 Look at this guy.
00:53:11.000 This is David.
00:53:12.000 He's 37.
00:53:14.000 He's a straight man, single, 5'10.
00:53:17.000 They're big on their height.
00:53:18.000 You must have a rough time there, Midget.
00:53:20.000 I do fine.
00:53:22.000 Do you write your height down on dating apps?
00:53:22.000 Okay.
00:53:25.000 I don't even know what it is.
00:53:27.000 I know what it is.
00:53:27.000 It's 5'5.
00:53:28.000 Yeah.
00:53:28.000 Tiny.
00:53:29.000 Mini man.
00:53:29.000 Right, right.
00:53:30.000 Little guy.
00:53:31.000 Vern Troyer.
00:53:34.000 Mini me.
00:53:35.000 Mini you.
00:53:36.000 Because there's no me.
00:53:38.000 Mini Mao.
00:53:40.000 Straight man single 5'10 fit.
00:53:42.000 Looking for women for short and long-term dating and open to non-monogamy.
00:53:47.000 Yeah, we know.
00:53:49.000 Men don't have to say, happy to cheat on you if you wish.
00:53:55.000 What a retard.
00:53:56.000 Open to non-monogamy.
00:53:58.000 All men are open to non-monogamy.
00:54:00.000 If some woman says, I don't mind if you screw around, I guess you'd be kind of hurt that she doesn't care, but you're not going to be too angry, especially if she says, I think I might be by.
00:54:11.000 I'm going to be bringing home women on a regular basis.
00:54:15.000 Really?
00:54:16.000 Darn.
00:54:18.000 Oh, well, C'est la vie.
00:54:21.000 Let's go to the other one, though, because there's a few of these.
00:54:25.000 So there's toe man who wants to show you his toes.
00:54:27.000 By the way, why are we so nude and toe-y?
00:54:29.000 Like, can't you be wearing a suit or something?
00:54:31.000 Women like to see you dressed up.
00:54:32.000 Be in a bar with a brandy, with the lighting nice, and be wearing a really tailored suit, a perfect suit, and be like, that's what I would do.
00:54:42.000 Looking for drinks.
00:54:43.000 Stolen from a...
00:54:49.000 Snowflake.
00:54:49.000 Who is this?
00:54:51.000 I think this is...
00:54:59.000 You're lying.
00:55:00.000 Snowy winters of St. Petersburg.
00:55:02.000 While growing up, I was always surrounded by the love of my wonderful parents.
00:55:07.000 Yeah, that makes girls wet.
00:55:08.000 I love my mommy.
00:55:10.000 Will you be my new mommy?
00:55:12.000 They raised me.
00:55:13.000 Look at the bad line breaks, too.
00:55:16.000 He's just cut and pasted this without even looking at it.
00:55:19.000 They raised me to be curious and kind, to peek behind closed doors, to learn.
00:55:23.000 What, you watch them fuck?
00:55:27.000 What else does he say?
00:55:28.000 Let the boy watch.
00:55:29.000 He's behind the camera now.
00:55:30.000 Okay, to learn.
00:55:32.000 Okay, what's on the other side?
00:55:34.000 Radiant childhood memories combined with a healthy appetite for learning have shaped me into who I am today.
00:55:40.000 Proud of my breasts.
00:55:42.000 As a man, not scared to have attention given to my nipples.
00:55:46.000 I see my feet as erotic zones.
00:55:50.000 Erogen zones are my chest, my toes, my upper loins.
00:55:56.000 I love my inner thighs caressed.
00:55:58.000 Kissed and poked.
00:56:00.000 We'll supply coconut oil for my inner thigh touching.
00:56:00.000 Available.
00:56:05.000 And my mother used to love to do it when I was young.
00:56:08.000 We'll carry your purse, no problem.
00:56:11.000 It's worse than just beta males, too.
00:56:14.000 It's like overly sensual.
00:56:16.000 Looking to rub your legs with milk.
00:56:19.000 Ew.
00:56:21.000 It's got to stink.
00:56:22.000 Oh, it's getting everywhere.
00:56:23.000 Oh, it's got to stink.
00:56:25.000 Let's put a shower curtain on the bed.
00:56:27.000 Oh, my God.
00:56:28.000 This guy wants to rub me with milk.
00:56:29.000 You see, Seinfeld was giving Mark Norman a shout out at the Mets game?
00:56:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:33.000 That's pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.
00:56:36.000 It's pretty, pretty good.
00:56:37.000 That's the comedian Ryan is doing when he goes, yeah, pretty bad.
00:56:41.000 Mark Norman.
00:56:42.000 Mark Norman.
00:56:44.000 I saw in the Legion of the Skanks that they were making fun of, like, how that doesn't reach a lot of people.
00:56:49.000 It's like SNY or something, that channel.
00:56:52.000 And then we're like, Jerry Seinfeld would have reached more people if he just went on the East, like in the East Village on a balcony.
00:56:59.000 Dave Smith said that.
00:57:01.000 Well, that's because they're Yankees fans.
00:57:03.000 100% of Mets fans watch SNY.
00:57:06.000 I'll have you now.
00:57:09.000 Okay, who's this next guy?
00:57:10.000 He's 40.
00:57:11.000 Eric's 40 and he's got a best friend.
00:57:14.000 Yeah, I'm Harry.
00:57:15.000 So's my buddy named Harry.
00:57:19.000 Does the dog have a cowboy hat?
00:57:19.000 What's on the dog?
00:57:21.000 You're doing this thing where you don't zoom out enough.
00:57:25.000 Like, why do you do that?
00:57:26.000 Are you scared I'll see that person's battery power?
00:57:31.000 It's not ugly.
00:57:32.000 It's information.
00:57:34.000 Even with YouTube, I like when you zoom out so I can see the YouTube user.
00:57:37.000 I got to get a zoom in on this little hat.
00:57:41.000 Oh my God.
00:57:44.000 I love my little gay dog.
00:57:46.000 Oh, man.
00:57:47.000 What has he got to say?
00:57:48.000 He's got strangly hair, too.
00:57:50.000 I thought.
00:57:51.000 Oh, that's because he just had a shower where he was washing himself.
00:57:54.000 That's what he's saying.
00:57:55.000 He's saying, I know you don't want to go down on me.
00:57:58.000 That's what I call it.
00:58:00.000 Because I'm so hairy.
00:58:01.000 But as you can see, I shower a lot.
00:58:04.000 So it's going to be nice down there.
00:58:05.000 Nice and soapy.
00:58:07.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:58:07.000 Go back.
00:58:08.000 Go back.
00:58:08.000 You're the king of leadership.
00:58:10.000 There's Irish goodbye editing.
00:58:13.000 Demisexual, heteroflexible.
00:58:17.000 Wow.
00:58:17.000 I bet even gays read that and go, well, no, thanks.
00:58:20.000 We don't like that kind.
00:58:23.000 They like straights who don't want to have sex with them.
00:58:25.000 Not a straight guy to go, yes, I'd love to try.
00:58:28.000 Heteroflexible man, single, 5'10, fit.
00:58:31.000 Middle Eastern white, speaks English.
00:58:34.000 Okay, the next one is one of the weirdest ones.
00:58:34.000 Middle Eastern.
00:58:39.000 Jack, 45 Upper West Side.
00:58:42.000 I am 6'2, strong, kind, elegant, and I'm elegant.
00:58:46.000 Hi.
00:58:47.000 Ew.
00:58:47.000 What's up?
00:58:48.000 You may have heard of me.
00:58:48.000 I'm Gavin.
00:58:49.000 I'm super elegant.
00:58:51.000 And his pictures are all paintings.
00:58:54.000 Who is that?
00:58:55.000 Gustav Klimt in the bottom left?
00:58:57.000 Look how cultured he is.
00:58:59.000 Why look at me when you can see some beautiful paint?
00:59:02.000 Wait a minute.
00:59:03.000 I think elegant and cultured with paintings means fat and bald.
00:59:07.000 I think Jack is a little Danny DeVito, but who's tall?
00:59:11.000 He's a tall Danny DeVito.
00:59:13.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
00:59:14.000 He's probably like a history teacher at a charter school, and he'd rather focus on art than silly things like aesthetics.
00:59:21.000 Yeah, that's a really out-of-touch thing to do.
00:59:23.000 So he's probably, yeah.
00:59:24.000 All right, we're totally out of time.
00:59:26.000 But speaking of aesthetics, this was the last one.
00:59:30.000 I modeled for five years in my 20s.
00:59:32.000 I'm looking for someone kind, compassionate, creative.
00:59:34.000 Stop saying all that shit.
00:59:37.000 No, like women don't want to be kind.
00:59:39.000 They're not looking for someone kind.
00:59:40.000 I'm looking for a crazy bitch to drink beers with.
00:59:42.000 Bye.
00:59:44.000 A special female friend who understands that I sometimes have deep female instincts.
00:59:49.000 You're written up.
00:59:50.000 You just lost her.
00:59:53.000 And desires that I can feel alone with.
00:59:56.000 He wants to be pegged.
00:59:57.000 This is an ugly, fat, bald guy who wants to be pegged.
01:00:01.000 I just think there are too many rules in life about gender, sexual orientation.
01:00:04.000 They're all gay.
01:00:06.000 Why do all these guys want to suck a dick so bad?
01:00:09.000 Hi, looking for a woman who has a penis?
01:00:12.000 Like, when you're trying to pick up chicks, you don't need to include that you're open to gay sex.
01:00:17.000 It's not like women are sitting there going, God, all these guys are so straight.
01:00:21.000 Don't any of them want to have an orgy with me and my gay friends?
01:00:24.000 Yeah, this guy waits for you in the bathroom.
01:00:26.000 He's like, hey, can you bring me a towel?
01:00:27.000 And then she comes in and he's like, his butt's in the air, just pulled open.
01:00:32.000 Or he's lying back with his hands behind his knees.
01:00:32.000 Hey, yeah.
01:00:35.000 He's been waiting there so long, it's just all, it's his butts dry.
01:00:38.000 Or when she fillates him, he's like, oh, puts on music and stuff.
01:00:45.000 Have you ever met a woman in your life?
01:00:48.000 Ever?
01:00:49.000 Who are you, people?
01:00:50.000 Have you ever talked to a chick?
01:00:52.000 Like, even a female friend, she's going to get drunk and tell you she doesn't like men that are pussies.
01:00:57.000 God, look at the woman who sent me this.
01:00:59.000 She's like, can you believe what I have to deal with?
01:01:01.000 Yeah.
01:01:02.000 All my letters, by the way, are from chicks.
01:01:04.000 Here's another one.
01:01:05.000 It's badass, man.
01:01:07.000 Hi, Gav.
01:01:08.000 I'm the one who sent you the email about being a 6.3.
01:01:11.000 We read this on the air, and it seems as though you were a bit cut up about it.
01:01:15.000 She's clearly British.
01:01:17.000 Sorry, love.
01:01:18.000 Didn't mean to hurt you.
01:01:19.000 Although, you're acting a bit like a woman about it because you keep mentioning it.
01:01:23.000 Yes, I'm vain.
01:01:24.000 Have you noticed I have a show called Me?
01:01:30.000 But also, I wanted to add that I didn't take into consideration what you are without, the beard.
01:01:36.000 If you were unable to grow facial hair, the score would be a lot different.
01:01:40.000 With facial hair, you are a 6.3, but without it, you are a 3.3.
01:01:46.000 Ouch.
01:01:46.000 That's just not true.
01:01:47.000 So, to compare on the female scale, with facial hair, you are Amy Schumer.
01:01:52.000 Without it, you are Tarana Burke.
01:01:55.000 The ugliest woman that we know of.
01:02:00.000 I mean, there's women who have burns and stuff, but as far as no accidents and no diseases, like a natural head, she's the ugliest woman in America.
01:02:11.000 She challenges the definition of female.
01:02:13.000 Yeah.
01:02:14.000 That's rough.
01:02:15.000 Yeah, like there's a lot of, if it was Tarana Burke or a bunch of trannies, I think a lot of us would be what?
01:02:22.000 Hetero-questioning?
01:02:24.000 Heteroflexible.
01:02:26.000 Heteroflexible.
01:02:26.000 I think she makes men heteroflexible.
01:02:28.000 You've got to pull up her face.
01:02:30.000 Did you say demi- You got to find demisexual?
01:02:32.000 You got to find Mr. Potato Head.
01:02:34.000 Tarana.
01:02:35.000 She's less attractive than Mr. Potato Head.
01:02:38.000 Yeah.
01:02:39.000 There we go.
01:02:41.000 It's getting hot in here.
01:02:44.000 Like, she literally could be in the circus if it was the 20s.
01:02:47.000 And she could be called Hippo Lady.
01:02:49.000 Come on up.
01:02:50.000 See the Hippo Lady right here.
01:02:52.000 Gavin Nickel.
01:02:54.000 I just want to throw money.
01:02:56.000 Not for the kids or the faint of heart.
01:02:57.000 Step right up one nickel.
01:02:59.000 No kids allowed.
01:03:00.000 Sorry.
01:03:01.000 Too many nightmares.
01:03:03.000 We got sued.
01:03:05.000 One time I was in.
01:03:07.000 What's it called?
01:03:08.000 The Santanero Feast in Italy.
01:03:10.000 In Italy.
01:03:11.000 In Little Italy.
01:03:11.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:03:12.000 San Jannaro?
01:03:13.000 I was surprised.
01:03:14.000 I thought I would get a lot done, but I didn't do diddly in Little Ital Italy.
01:03:18.000 I didn't do diddly in Little Italy.
01:03:20.000 That's pretty cool.
01:03:20.000 I didn't do diddly in Little Italy.
01:03:22.000 It's like a mortal technique.
01:03:24.000 What's the San Jannaro Feast?
01:03:26.000 And it's, you know, New York can be so quaint sometimes.
01:03:29.000 And the San Jannaro Feast is still like Italian, 1930s.
01:03:33.000 Sideshows and stuff.
01:03:34.000 I got my phone back, by the way.
01:03:36.000 I don't know if I told you folks at home that.
01:03:38.000 It was in the Lost and Found of Grand Central.
01:03:41.000 The Lost and Found of Grand Central is smaller than the studio.
01:03:44.000 And they come in, they charge your phone, see if they can see a number.
01:03:47.000 And then if you file a report, they call you up and say, hello, Joey.
01:03:51.000 Your phone was on a one-way ticket to Palocalle, you bum.
01:03:54.000 Get on down here, have some sarsaparilla, and we'll give you a phone back.
01:03:58.000 Yeah, quit being such a jughead and get on down here and collect your property.
01:04:02.000 Come on, you boob.
01:04:03.000 What were you drinking?
01:04:04.000 Sarsaparillas all night?
01:04:06.000 Having that gin and tonic?
01:04:08.000 You know it's prohibition, right?
01:04:11.000 And they call me up.
01:04:12.000 There's my phone, and they've charged it.
01:04:13.000 And I go, well, would you want?
01:04:16.000 He's got a little hat on, his little key in his little waist pocket.
01:04:20.000 He goes, no, don't worry about it, sir.
01:04:22.000 Are we still at war?
01:04:25.000 What year is it?
01:04:26.000 It's 2019.
01:04:28.000 What?
01:04:30.000 Donald Trump is president.
01:04:32.000 The guy that was in Mad Magazine in the 80s?
01:04:34.000 Oh, son of Fred Trump.
01:04:35.000 Sure.
01:04:36.000 I remember Fred Trump.
01:04:39.000 His boy is president?
01:04:42.000 I remember that boy who has had the blondest hair.
01:04:46.000 I remember Fred.
01:04:48.000 I remember Fred when he was this tall.
01:04:50.000 He liked a burger and a maltin.
01:04:53.000 So weird.
01:04:55.000 And then, and they pulled a bucket with like 50 phones.
01:04:58.000 Mine was number 36.
01:05:00.000 Ready to go.
01:05:00.000 Dang.
01:05:01.000 Anyway.
01:05:01.000 Pretty cool.
01:05:02.000 Bizarre.
01:05:05.000 So that's not true.
01:05:06.000 I'll take the 6.3, but I'm not going down to 3.3.
01:05:09.000 I'm not going down to Toronto Burke.
01:05:10.000 You're just trying to hurt my feelings.
01:05:12.000 But it's okay.
01:05:12.000 Shit, a cool guy with a killer record collection.
01:05:14.000 I hope Peter and the Test 2 babies make it off the record, by the way.
01:05:18.000 I can't believe I haven't covered Peter and the Test 2 Babies.
01:05:21.000 They're one of my favorite bands of all time.
01:05:23.000 In fact, Anal Shinook, my band, kind of mirrored their style, and I believe it was called Clown Punk, where there'd be, you know, a lot of jokes.
01:05:31.000 That's a moped lads.
01:05:33.000 They think they're bad.
01:05:34.000 That's a moped, lads.
01:05:35.000 If you hit them, they tell their dads.
01:05:37.000 That's pretty good.
01:05:38.000 Bunny song making fun of mods.
01:05:40.000 And I will be covering them.
01:05:41.000 We've got to do some more off-the-records.
01:05:43.000 Cheers and hugs, Agnes.
01:05:45.000 And just one last insulting British letter from a woman.
01:05:51.000 Hey, just watched a recent GM EPS, and I'm sorry, but you talk so much shit sometimes.
01:05:55.000 In the episode, you said that Dragon's Den show was proof that Brits are weak.
01:05:59.000 You're an idiot and base all your theories on shit.
01:06:03.000 The reason everyone you see on Dragon's Den is nervous and having a panic attack is because the difference between American and British TV.
01:06:09.000 Nice grammar.
01:06:10.000 I've worked in reality shows in both countries and the way they are edited is very different.
01:06:15.000 American audiences typically enjoy watching success stories, whereas British audiences prefer seeing fuck-ups slash train wrecks.
01:06:22.000 So on British reality shows, if say only 20% of the people who go on the show fuck up and 80% give a good presentation, the whole show will be edited down to the 20% who fucked up.
01:06:33.000 It's not a representation of the majority.
01:06:35.000 By the way, the accent I'm doing is someone who grew up in Croydon, but they're trying to sound posh.
01:06:42.000 So sometimes they enunciate water, but it's an affectation and they really, when they're drunk or sleeping, they'll go water.
01:06:50.000 Who go on the show, idiot.
01:06:52.000 Same as all the smiley, happy, successful people on American shows.
01:06:55.000 Aren't a representation of all Americans, you brown-nosing dickhead.
01:06:59.000 I know you think you know Britain and Brits really well, but you don't at all.
01:07:03.000 I've seen how TV shows are made slash edited in both countries.
01:07:07.000 You mentioned that.
01:07:08.000 And they are very different.
01:07:09.000 They don't represent both populations at all.
01:07:11.000 Think before speak, twat.
01:07:14.000 Yikes.
01:07:15.000 Thanks, Emma.
01:07:16.000 I got one that's not grumpy, and it's short.
01:07:19.000 We're way over time.
01:07:20.000 Oh, true.
01:07:21.000 But okay, let's hear it.
01:07:22.000 It's pretty much asking, this is from Joshua, will we ever get to see the final cut of A Kiss Before Yesterday?
01:07:28.000 Yeah, it's an inside joke for Windy City Heat fans.
01:07:30.000 Yeah.
01:07:30.000 Also, when was the last time you spoke with Gary Perry?
01:07:32.000 And would you ever, is William Randolph Hearst going to appear ever again?
01:07:38.000 This gentleman is speaking of an inside joke.
01:07:39.000 It's a prank we've been playing on a gentleman named Perry Caravello for almost 30 years now.
01:07:44.000 I had to pull back from the Perry project because it was taking over my life, ruining my marriage.
01:07:49.000 I was addicted to Windy City Heat and those three clowns, Mole, Don, and Perry.
01:07:57.000 I was just using up all my time.
01:07:59.000 I was on their chats.
01:08:00.000 I just got it.
01:08:01.000 I got sucked in.
01:08:03.000 And I said, I got to start my own life here.
01:08:06.000 I think the same thing happened with Jimmy Kimmel.
01:08:09.000 You know, especially because Perry sued him twice.
01:08:13.000 There they are.
01:08:14.000 Wait, I was there that day, I think.
01:08:16.000 Really?
01:08:17.000 Gosh, nap.
01:08:18.000 Where is that again?
01:08:20.000 Is it a hotel?
01:08:21.000 Anyway.
01:08:23.000 GQA's pool party?
01:08:25.000 Yeah, the reason you're wrong, Emma, is because the Dragon's Den story that I used was just a small part of my general hypothesis.
01:08:34.000 And as someone who's run many businesses in Britain, Vice UK was not just Vice magazine.
01:08:41.000 We also had a pub, the Old Blue Last.
01:08:43.000 I've also spoken to a million entrepreneurs in both countries and had businesses in both America, restaurants, bars, apps.
01:08:51.000 I've been a successful entrepreneur for a long time.
01:08:53.000 So I'm glad you worked on a couple reality shows, but the group I'm drawing from is much larger than that.
01:09:03.000 Sorry, love.
01:09:05.000 All right, we're out of time, but I do want to end with a video.
01:09:09.000 Oh, there's my old restaurant.
01:09:10.000 Did we show that?
01:09:11.000 The Cardinal?
01:09:13.000 Whatever happened to that?
01:09:16.000 Was that just my buddy Curtis just screwing up?
01:09:19.000 Or is he right that it's impossible to run a restaurant?
01:09:22.000 Lost a lot of dough on that thing.
01:09:24.000 A lot of dough.
01:09:26.000 Anyway, we like to end this show with a viral video.
01:09:30.000 And I think while we're talking about weirdos like Jack Stauber, who we opened the show with, I'd like to say that his kooky, weird way of editing is totally normal in India because I don't know, they have no epileptics there.
01:09:45.000 Check out the way they make a point in Indian drama.
01:09:48.000 This is not a joke and hasn't been re-edited by a hipster.
01:09:53.000 wait go back to the beginning dude turn it up Who are you looking at, God?
01:10:10.000 This is how I would look at someone if I was at their funeral, bawling my eyes out, and then I realized, no, they faked their death.
01:10:18.000 Even then, I don't think I'd be that freaked out.
01:10:21.000 Yeah, I wouldn't slip upside down for a millisecond.
01:10:26.000 Still going with this point, but it's a big deal.
01:10:31.000 Sheesh.
01:10:32.000 Actually, I should say the interstitial with this rainbow might be fake.
01:10:37.000 I mean, added in post.
01:10:41.000 It's like Dragon Ball Z?
01:10:44.000 Yeah.
01:10:45.000 Shit.
01:10:45.000 Everything about Shithole Countries is shitty.
01:10:47.000 Yeah, I think the interstitial blurry thing is just a way that the editor, the Western editor, broke up these things.
01:10:53.000 But these are all real.
01:10:57.000 Boy, they should get freaked out easy over there.
01:11:01.000 By the way, it's 130 degrees in that studio right now.
01:11:05.000 Oh, he hung her computer.
01:11:08.000 she hung his computer out to dry because she washed it Is that what it's like in India?
01:11:30.000 Yeah, but with shit on the roads.
01:11:34.000 All right, we're out of time.
01:11:35.000 You step into shit and it's just, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:11:38.000 You see piles of shit everywhere.
01:11:40.000 then have a seizure.
01:11:43.000 Yeah, so what a joke to Jack Stabber doing weird art is totally normal entertainment in India because India is obviously a shithole country.