Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E55 - CLOWN WORLD IS FUNNY AGAIN

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:27.000 That was quick.

00:00:28.000 Yeah.

00:00:29.000 Yeah, it was.

00:00:32.000 The pausing of the song?

00:00:33.000 Yeah.

00:00:34.000 Why that quick?

00:00:35.000 It's usually not that quick.

00:00:36.000 Because I don't like getting fucked with.

00:00:38.000 Why?

00:00:38.000 You don't like that song?

00:00:40.000 No.

00:00:40.000 This was meant to be your week where you chose the music and you choose the only cool song I've ever heard you listen to in my life.

00:00:46.000 Oh, I see.

00:00:47.000 Okay.

00:00:48.000 Nice try.

00:00:49.000 I was like, Gloria Estevan.

00:00:53.000 You like El DeBarge.

00:00:55.000 You like Puerto Rican woman's music.

00:00:57.000 I told you I liked that once, and now that's my whole identity to you?

00:01:00.000 You like all that shit.

00:01:00.000 No.

00:01:02.000 You like, I feel like a woman.

00:01:05.000 Sometimes.

00:01:06.000 I mean, that's not my go-to.

00:01:07.000 No, but you really enjoy single mom music.

00:01:10.000 That's why I came up with the idea, or maybe you did.

00:01:13.000 Well, that's why I liked the idea of you doing your music this week so we could listen to a bunch of shitty, stupid salsa music.

00:01:23.000 got some bad ones.

00:01:25.000 And make fun of your terrible taste.

00:01:27.000 Like the whole...

00:01:30.000 Blonde.

00:01:32.000 Yeah.

00:01:33.000 Oh And It was It was She She had bare feet.

00:01:39.000 She was British.

00:01:40.000 Oh, Natasha Benningfield, yeah.

00:01:42.000 That's what you like.

00:01:42.000 Yeah.

00:01:43.000 Natasha Benningfield.

00:01:44.000 No, that's good for the headlines.

00:01:46.000 It's good for your narrative, but that's not true.

00:01:48.000 I like a lot of macho-ass shit.

00:01:50.000 He says, as he flimps his hair.

00:01:52.000 I'm actually super macho.

00:01:54.000 I'm actually a pretty tough dude.

00:01:58.000 So that's a fail on your part.

00:02:00.000 You started the show with a fail.

00:02:02.000 That's just a weird thing.

00:02:03.000 Why don't you just get a haircut and stop playing with it all the time like you work at the Muppet show?

00:02:08.000 I actually am going to get a haircut.

00:02:09.000 No, you're going to get some gay trim.

00:02:11.000 No.

00:02:12.000 Just cut your hair off.

00:02:13.000 It looks ridiculous.

00:02:14.000 I'm going to get like a crew cut or something drastic.

00:02:16.000 Fine.

00:02:17.000 Good.

00:02:18.000 Start to be part of the crew.

00:02:25.000 Should we just start the show?

00:02:26.000 You know what I've been thinking about recently?

00:02:27.000 I...

00:02:34.000 I don't know about guests.

00:02:37.000 Do we need guests?

00:02:39.000 I haven't noticed that we haven't had guests, so I'd say no.

00:02:42.000 They can kill the flow.

00:02:44.000 I want to have Soph on tomorrow and talk to her about her being our second addition to the family.

00:02:52.000 So that's crucial.

00:02:54.000 But like, you know, James O'Keefe's in the news.

00:02:57.000 Oh, Laura Loomer just had a new thing.

00:02:57.000 Let's get James on.

00:02:59.000 Let's get Laura on.

00:02:59.000 There's our friends.

00:03:00.000 And we say, hey, I just saw you in the news.

00:03:01.000 And she goes, yeah, that was me.

00:03:03.000 Okay, bye.

00:03:03.000 I love Laura and James.

00:03:04.000 I'm talking about my friends, people I'd love to go grab a beer with right now.

00:03:09.000 But I don't know.

00:03:10.000 I'm kind of in not a guest mood these days.

00:03:14.000 Even Tucker, when he has his guests on, do they really improve the show?

00:03:21.000 Like yesterday, last night, he had someone on and he was talking about Beto O'Rourke who said, just to be clear here, you know, the whole government's going to come take your guns.

00:03:31.000 We are.

00:03:31.000 That's exactly what we're going to do.

00:03:33.000 We're going to buy them back.

00:03:34.000 I love the term buy them back.

00:03:36.000 Oh, you had them first?

00:03:37.000 And I bought them from you?

00:03:40.000 What else are you going to buy back?

00:03:41.000 My clothes?

00:03:42.000 Is this yours?

00:03:44.000 Do you own everything?

00:03:45.000 It's like when my kids at my house say, that's mine.

00:03:48.000 I go, no, it's mine.

00:03:49.000 Everything here is mine.

00:03:51.000 All of your toys, those are all my toys that you have in your room.

00:03:58.000 Get those toys out of my room.

00:04:01.000 Clean up my toys in one of my rooms.

00:04:04.000 Go to my room.

00:04:05.000 Go to the room of mine that you stay in.

00:04:08.000 And you're mine.

00:04:10.000 I got you for your natural born live.

00:04:12.000 Clean up our toys.

00:04:16.000 But yeah, the government just thinks they own all our guns.

00:04:18.000 Anyway, Beto Work said that, and he had a guy on from a Democratic strategist.

00:04:24.000 And the Democratic Strategist said, well, first of all, Tucker, they always say his name, which drives me nuts.

00:04:30.000 First of all, Tucker, Beto Work's not going to be president, so you don't have to worry about that.

00:04:35.000 All right, how are you furthering the conversation here?

00:04:37.000 I kind of am brainwashed by Soph's last video where she says all of this discourse is a waste of time.

00:04:43.000 Maybe that's where I got the no-guess thing.

00:04:46.000 She's getting into my head.

00:04:47.000 I believe I dropped that to you too while watching Chappelle.

00:04:51.000 I was like, we can't be arguing with, you know, logical retardation out there all the time.

00:04:56.000 We got to be funny.

00:04:57.000 I'm not talking about that.

00:04:59.000 Classic Rye guy.

00:05:01.000 I'm talking about the guests we have are usually our allies.

00:05:04.000 When I get a liberal, I put them on free speech and take them to a bar and shine a bunch of lights on them because I'm so happy I finally got one in my trap.

00:05:12.000 Not a trap.

00:05:13.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:14.000 Anyway.

00:05:17.000 But, you know, like Run Don't Walk or that Elon guy that we really like who's an awesome dude.

00:05:23.000 He was just at the Straight Pride Parade and he interviewed that dude who has a boot on his head and he's running for president.

00:05:31.000 Yeah, it was funny.

00:05:33.000 We could look that up, talk about the video.

00:05:35.000 We could talk to him and he go, yeah, it was fucked up.

00:05:37.000 He's not going to give us new information.

00:05:39.000 We've got it all in the video.

00:05:42.000 Yeah, what's his name?

00:05:42.000 Vermin Supreme.

00:05:43.000 Vermin Supreme.

00:05:44.000 I like Vermin Supreme, but I guess he's left-wing.

00:05:47.000 didn't think he was.

00:05:48.000 I saw him at the deplorable and it seemed like he was Yeah.

00:05:52.000 Look up Vermin Supreme.

00:05:54.000 And what's the name of Elon's show?

00:05:58.000 Oh, Elan.

00:05:58.000 Yeah, Elan Uninformed.

00:06:00.000 Oh, no, barely informed.

00:06:01.000 Barely informed, yeah.

00:06:03.000 He said he had a confrontation with Boothead.

00:06:05.000 Vermin Supreme is awesome, actually.

00:06:07.000 I did an article about him for Tacky Mag, and he's actually a pretty smart dude with a political background and a background in acting.

00:06:14.000 He's not actually in that.

00:06:16.000 It's a ruse that I just ruined.

00:06:18.000 Spooky!

00:06:22.000 This thing's taking its sweet-ass time.

00:06:25.000 How do you get on Facebook?

00:06:26.000 I can't see any Facebook links.

00:06:28.000 I have a Facebook still.

00:06:30.000 Oh.

00:06:31.000 For name.

00:06:32.000 What?

00:06:32.000 We're in New Hampshire?

00:06:33.000 Wait, New Hampshire.

00:06:34.000 I'm sorry.

00:06:35.000 I made a wrong turn.

00:06:36.000 I don't know.

00:06:36.000 You got a boot head, so I don't know.

00:06:39.000 How are you?

00:06:39.000 What is the point of the boot?

00:06:40.000 The point of the boot of the head is: would you rather have a boot on your head or a boot on your neck?

00:06:45.000 Are those boot on your head?

00:06:46.000 Yeah, are you going to be wearing this boot or is the boot on your head?

00:06:49.000 Is it on your head?

00:06:51.000 Does the boot have a foot in it on your head on the ground or is it on my head right here right now?

00:06:57.000 I think the choice is obvious.

00:06:59.000 Can you paint the metaphor more for me more explicitly?

00:07:01.000 Once again, this boot stands for all that is good in America.

00:07:05.000 The right and ability to wear a fucking boot on your head if you want to.

00:07:10.000 It's that simple, Fred.

00:07:12.000 It's that simple.

00:07:13.000 Is Trump telling people that they can't wear boots on their heads?

00:07:15.000 That's my impression.

00:07:17.000 That's my impression.

00:07:18.000 Well, why isn't law enforcement taking any action?

00:07:19.000 Because this boot is definitely on your head.

00:07:21.000 Elhand, Elhan.

00:07:23.000 That's ill hand.

00:07:24.000 They've been informed.

00:07:25.000 I don't think Elan gets the bit.

00:07:27.000 This is sort of like Nardoir the Human Serviette.

00:07:30.000 When he first met Jello Biafra, he thought he was getting fucked with.

00:07:33.000 So he just started drawing all over Nardoir's face with a marker for the whole interview and treated him like shit.

00:07:41.000 And all us Canadians were watching it going, dude, Nardoir is a huge fan and he just acts that way.

00:07:47.000 He's not being a character to fuck with you.

00:07:50.000 That's how he talks.

00:07:51.000 That's sad.

00:07:52.000 If you got a later one, then the next time he did Jello Biafra, he was much cooler.

00:07:58.000 That's this one, right?

00:07:59.000 This is the cool one.

00:07:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 I think so.

00:08:02.000 Gotcha.

00:08:03.000 Man, so you know a lot about that Narbor guy.

00:08:03.000 Yeah.

00:08:08.000 I know him.

00:08:08.000 We're friends.

00:08:09.000 He's very impressive.

00:08:11.000 Yeah, that's his shtick.

00:08:12.000 Yeah, it's very cool.

00:08:13.000 He almost died in about 2008.

00:08:18.000 How?

00:08:18.000 He had cancer or something.

00:08:20.000 Oh, schnapps.

00:08:22.000 You know, there's a great compilation of him just like wowing rappers.

00:08:25.000 You know how they don't like magic very much?

00:08:27.000 The urban community?

00:08:28.000 Yeah.

00:08:28.000 They'll run away from magic.

00:08:31.000 He's like, so now who is your friend that you went to school with?

00:08:34.000 His name was Big L. He's like, yo, how the hell you are you FBI?

00:08:39.000 And they just go, Bonanskis.

00:08:41.000 It's awesome.

00:08:42.000 Because it's magic.

00:08:42.000 It's a form of magic.

00:08:44.000 Yeah.

00:08:44.000 Wait, that's my high school.

00:08:46.000 Wait, there ain't no way you did that.

00:08:47.000 Wait, now you have to find Jello Biafra and the Mattookers.

00:08:50.000 Part one of two.

00:08:50.000 Okay, I got it.

00:08:54.000 This is old, right?

00:08:55.000 This is hard.

00:08:57.000 Mr. Biafra?

00:08:58.000 This is it?

00:08:59.000 1989?

00:09:00.000 Okay, what is the difference between an American and a Canadian?

00:09:04.000 That's for you to decide.

00:09:06.000 And what right does the media have to pry into things?

00:09:10.000 Well, you're crying right now.

00:09:12.000 Is it allowed?

00:09:13.000 Is that allowed?

00:09:14.000 I'm allowing it now against my better judgment.

00:09:19.000 But the thing is, wouldn't it be nice to suck up to nice little pump reporters and lift them?

00:09:24.000 What is your in regards to that?

00:09:26.000 People fooling you, pounding you, trying to track you down.

00:09:29.000 How do you deal with this since you have elevated in society?

00:09:33.000 He is so sarcastic all the time that he probably is always wondering if he's being messed with.

00:09:40.000 I see.

00:09:40.000 But go farther ahead to the markers.

00:09:42.000 It does seem a little confrontational almost.

00:09:45.000 Yeah.

00:09:46.000 Like Narbor is kind of being a little snarkier than I'm used to.

00:09:50.000 I've never seen him this young before.

00:09:53.000 Oh, there it is.

00:09:54.000 Okay.

00:09:55.000 Final, we have a nice Canadian present for you, Jello Biafra.

00:09:58.000 A lucky chestnut for Jello Biafra.

00:10:01.000 Thank you.

00:10:01.000 Looks like a chocolate-covered tumor.

00:10:07.000 Who are you?

00:10:08.000 I wish I knew.

00:10:10.000 Okay, so now we're getting on the field.

00:10:12.000 That was a long, long time.

00:10:13.000 We should start the show here.

00:10:15.000 We're trailing.

00:10:17.000 I have a big announcement to make.

00:10:19.000 Are you ready for this?

00:10:22.000 I lied.

00:10:25.000 I lied.

00:10:26.000 Andrew Liggett.

00:10:27.000 Hi, Alex.

00:10:28.000 Now, Arthur, you were telling us that you are in medical research.

00:10:31.000 Would you care to tell us a little about that?

00:10:33.000 I lied.

00:10:35.000 I'm sorry?

00:10:37.000 I lied.

00:10:38.000 I thought it would sound good on TV.

00:10:41.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:10:42.000 I didn't go to Breezy Point.

00:10:45.000 I rented a house there for August, and the whole family was going to go there, and I got my sponsors all lined up, and then I lied.

00:10:53.000 Because they ripped up my contract at the 11th hour, July 28th.

00:11:01.000 They said, no, you can't move in.

00:11:03.000 We Googled you.

00:11:04.000 And it's not so much that the town doesn't want you, but it could hurt the town.

00:11:10.000 It might hurt the town if they were to, the media would come here.

00:11:14.000 And this is what I was talking about at that free speech rally, where I said, the problem is not the left.

00:11:20.000 The problem is us.

00:11:21.000 We are fucking pussies.

00:11:24.000 Fox News lives in perpetual fear of being made fun of by the left.

00:11:29.000 I remember when Jon Stewart was doing a show and Hannity was criticizing spring break and Jon Stewart was going, ah, Hannity doesn't like it when kids party.

00:11:38.000 And they go, we're really getting it hard from Comedy Central.

00:11:43.000 Meanwhile, Hannity was right.

00:11:45.000 Girls were doing opioids and getting gang raped when they're half awake on the beach by black kids.

00:11:52.000 And the sheriff was saying, can you press charges?

00:11:54.000 She's like, no, man, it's okay.

00:11:56.000 We're partying.

00:11:58.000 And he couldn't get girls to concede that they just had a train run on them by a bunch of strangers.

00:12:04.000 And then, a few days later, after Hannity was done, the show, there was a shootout where a bunch of, you know, middle-class rich kids, middle-class rich kids, middle-class kids from the north got shot.

00:12:16.000 These college kids got shot dead at a party.

00:12:20.000 So Hannity was right that it wasn't the spring break of yesteryear.

00:12:24.000 And Jon Stewart was proved wrong.

00:12:26.000 But that didn't matter.

00:12:27.000 Fox News was still too busy shitting their pants.

00:12:30.000 And Blaze TV got scared when they got swarmed with Antifa, so they fired me.

00:12:34.000 Oh, no, I don't want to get in trouble.

00:12:36.000 I don't want to be embarrassed.

00:12:37.000 Meanwhile, the left just laughs.

00:12:39.000 The left laughs in your face when you...

00:12:47.000 Or if Trevor Noah was a segment on the Greg Gutfeld show, can you imagine Trevor even batting an eye?

00:12:53.000 He wouldn't give a shit.

00:12:55.000 We need those kind of balls.

00:12:56.000 I don't know why our balls are so small.

00:12:59.000 But anyway, Yeah, the board, it's very, very difficult to rent a home in Breezy Point.

00:13:05.000 It's a gated community of all cops, and they love me there.

00:13:09.000 I walk down Breezy Point, I get high fives.

00:13:11.000 American flags everywhere, Blue Lives Matter.

00:13:13.000 Something like 80% of them voted for Trump.

00:13:15.000 And just to give you some perspective, 1% of Manhattanites voted for Trump.

00:13:20.000 So to have 80% within the three boroughs of Queens is basically everyone who voted for Trump.

00:13:27.000 It's in Queens, at the very bottom of Queens by the water.

00:13:31.000 And yeah, the board refused.

00:13:33.000 And, you know, I've had a pretty rocky year.

00:13:36.000 So have the kids.

00:13:37.000 So is the family.

00:13:38.000 Banned from everything.

00:13:39.000 Massive ostracization in our community.

00:13:42.000 And so I said, okay, you don't want us here.

00:13:45.000 That's cool.

00:13:46.000 That's cool.

00:13:48.000 We'll just go to Breezy where we belong.

00:13:51.000 And I get the sponsors to write the letters.

00:13:52.000 Yes, we love the McInnes'.

00:13:54.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:13:54.000 Our kids play together.

00:13:56.000 He'll be very welcome here.

00:13:58.000 And they look it up at the end.

00:13:59.000 And so they incinerated our August because we don't have time to come up with anything else.

00:14:04.000 And my neighborhood is a ghost town in August.

00:14:06.000 So we had this horrific patch quilt of an August that the kids hated.

00:14:10.000 The Rockin' Ranch was okay.

00:14:12.000 We went to Quag because I got a buddy who has a house here.

00:14:15.000 That's near the Hampshire.

00:14:17.000 What is it called?

00:14:18.000 Is it not the Hamptons?

00:14:19.000 Hamptons, sorry, near the Hamptons.

00:14:20.000 It's like a less glamorous Hamptons.

00:14:24.000 Not that I give a fuck about shit like that.

00:14:26.000 Excuse my language.

00:14:28.000 That was pretty crap, man.

00:14:30.000 So I'm pissed off.

00:14:32.000 True.

00:14:33.000 And I've noticed that the best way to retaliate when you've been ostracized is not to say, boycott, or I'm going to sue you, which is what we used to do.

00:14:43.000 The best way is to say, this is my favorite spot.

00:14:47.000 So to punish Breezy Point, I shot shows from my living room, not in Breezy Point, called Live from Breezy.

00:14:58.000 I lied.

00:15:00.000 I thought it would sound good on TV.

00:15:02.000 If we ever have visual gifts, like a soundboard that's visual, I want that to be one of them.

00:15:08.000 That is a fun idea.

00:15:10.000 That's Joe Flaherty with a gigantic fake nose.

00:15:13.000 I lied.

00:15:16.000 I thought it would sound good on TV.

00:15:18.000 That show, by the way, is Half Wits.

00:15:20.000 It was written by Catherine O'Hara.

00:15:21.000 It's the funniest sketch in the history of man.

00:15:24.000 And it is a group of imbeciles on a quiz show, and they can't get anything right.

00:15:31.000 Martin Short plays a guy who is struggling to get through high school, and it's one of his goals.

00:15:36.000 He also wants to be a doctor.

00:15:39.000 You want to watch it, don't you?

00:15:42.000 You kind of do.

00:15:43.000 Yeah.

00:15:45.000 Do for a living, Arthur?

00:15:47.000 Well, it's a job.

00:15:48.000 It's nothing special.

00:15:50.000 What kind of a job?

00:15:51.000 Just a job, you know, not a normal job.

00:15:53.000 What do you do for a living?

00:15:55.000 At home.

00:15:56.000 I work.

00:15:57.000 Where?

00:15:58.000 Oh, around.

00:15:59.000 All right, I don't have time for this.

00:16:01.000 I know that.

00:16:02.000 That's fine, Arthur.

00:16:03.000 Don't really care at this point.

00:16:05.000 This is the same character he does with the synchronized swimming.

00:16:07.000 You got me blocking him.

00:16:09.000 Lawrence, you were telling us you're still in school.

00:16:11.000 Right, oh, Alex?

00:16:12.000 Postgraduate work?

00:16:14.000 No, high school.

00:16:15.000 I'm having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.

00:16:19.000 I see.

00:16:20.000 Well, good to have you here.

00:16:22.000 I'm sure you will, Lawrence.

00:16:23.000 Because I have certain goals in life I feel compelled to complete.

00:16:26.000 Very, very good.

00:16:28.000 One of which is becoming a circuit court judge.

00:16:30.000 Good to have ambition.

00:16:30.000 Good.

00:16:32.000 And the second is perhaps playing professional hockey.

00:16:34.000 Good to have you here, Lawrence, and good luck to you tonight.

00:16:36.000 Right-oh, Alex then.

00:16:38.000 Now it's time to play.

00:16:39.000 And did he say end?

00:16:40.000 No, he said, right-oh, Alex then.

00:16:42.000 Oh.

00:16:43.000 And then the next was clothing found in a bedroom, and Blanche suggests a coat hanger.

00:16:48.000 Can we do a game show one day?

00:16:48.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:16:50.000 No.

00:16:50.000 Oh, man.

00:16:52.000 So I lied.

00:16:54.000 And I thought that's a win-win because fuck them.

00:17:00.000 And if shit hits the fan, well, they're right, but the shitting is hitting the fan.

00:17:04.000 And if nothing happens, then I go, see, dummies, I did a whole live from Breezy and nothing happened.

00:17:09.000 And it's a gated community.

00:17:11.000 Like, I remember the chief of police had trouble getting in through the gate because he didn't have a sponsor.

00:17:16.000 I'm like, sorry.

00:17:17.000 And he goes, I'm the chief of police.

00:17:18.000 I can go anywhere.

00:17:19.000 I own this whole everything.

00:17:21.000 They go, actually, you don't.

00:17:25.000 So say the paparazzi wanted to go there and shoot me, which doesn't happen.

00:17:28.000 I've never been paparazzi'd ever.

00:17:30.000 So I don't know what media attention the pussy board was talking about, but they fuck with my whole family.

00:17:36.000 We had a shitty fucking summer because of those pussies at the Breezy Point Co-op.

00:17:42.000 Anyway.

00:17:43.000 They treated you like the Grinch, basically.

00:17:45.000 Well, it's just frustrating because you go, all right, you can't.

00:17:45.000 Yeah.

00:17:48.000 I'm a pariah in Manhattan.

00:17:49.000 I'm a pariah in the burbs.

00:17:51.000 I get it.

00:17:51.000 All right, all right.

00:17:52.000 You don't like Patriots.

00:17:53.000 You don't like Trumpers.

00:17:54.000 Why don't I go to Trump Central?

00:17:56.000 I retreat.

00:17:57.000 I hereby officially throw in the white flag.

00:17:59.000 I'm going to run home with my tail between my legs.

00:18:01.000 I'll hide.

00:18:02.000 You win.

00:18:03.000 This is your land now.

00:18:04.000 And then I go there and they go, you can't come here either.

00:18:07.000 Too much heat.

00:18:11.000 Okay.

00:18:12.000 That's not a good deal.

00:18:16.000 And without a plan B, your August has flushed down the toilet.

00:18:21.000 So is this cool graphic?

00:18:25.000 Everyone's seen that.

00:18:25.000 Oh, that.

00:18:28.000 Yeah, that was nice.

00:18:30.000 But I told you to include the drone footage of Prezi Point.

00:18:33.000 It doesn't look like we were there.

00:18:35.000 Why would I send you drone footage not to use?

00:18:37.000 Well, because when I ran this past you, I thought you were just kind of.

00:18:39.000 I thought that was the beginning.

00:18:41.000 I go, yeah, it looks great.

00:18:43.000 That doesn't mean you're done.

00:18:44.000 No, I thought you sent me basically a mood board, which is like, this is kind of what I'm going for.

00:18:48.000 I want some footage of some beachy stuff.

00:18:50.000 And it was all low.

00:18:51.000 I would send mood boards.

00:18:52.000 I'm a 49-year-old asshole.

00:18:56.000 Okay.

00:18:57.000 Mood board?

00:18:58.000 That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me in my life.

00:19:01.000 That's the two modes that you're in.

00:19:02.000 You're either in a bad mood or you're bored.

00:19:06.000 You Grinch.

00:19:10.000 There's a third option when I get stabbed in the chest with a shitty pun.

00:19:16.000 So as we learned with the Griffin, was it yesterday's show?

00:19:19.000 The Griffin, Proud Boys went there.

00:19:22.000 The bouncer didn't notice.

00:19:25.000 Some very wealthy trust fund open mic comedians found out.

00:19:29.000 They ran down there and said, Get those guys out of here.

00:19:31.000 They're white supremacists.

00:19:33.000 And this is the, what's the word I'm looking for?

00:19:37.000 Totality of the bar's transgression.

00:19:40.000 Ready for this sin?

00:19:41.000 The bouncer said, a bunch of them are black.

00:19:46.000 And then the comic goes nuts.

00:19:48.000 Why are you defending them?

00:19:49.000 And the bouncer immediately capitulates and goes, I don't know.

00:19:52.000 I'm from San Francisco.

00:19:53.000 I don't know any of this.

00:19:55.000 And then the bouncer just kicks them out.

00:19:57.000 Too late.

00:19:58.000 You've already sinned.

00:20:00.000 So we go, all right, let's sue them.

00:20:02.000 There's a great law.

00:20:03.000 I'm sorry to repeat the news from yesterday, but there's a great law in California that says you can't discriminate against anyone due to their political beliefs.

00:20:11.000 It was a law written for communists during McCarthy days, but I'm happy to take advantage of it.

00:20:17.000 So we paid five grand, had a complaint written up.

00:20:20.000 No lawyer would take it in LA.

00:20:22.000 None.

00:20:22.000 And this has happened before.

00:20:23.000 The Proud Boys case in Halifax, where they all got kicked out of the military for questioning an anti-Canada Day ceremony on Canada Day at the 150th anniversary of the entire country.

00:20:38.000 No lawyer would take that either.

00:20:40.000 We had it all written up.

00:20:41.000 Here's the document.

00:20:42.000 Just submit it.

00:20:42.000 Because you have to be a local lawyer to submit a complaint.

00:20:45.000 I'm happy to write the complaint.

00:20:46.000 I'll have it written anywhere.

00:20:47.000 But someone locally has to submit it and check the I's and dot the T's according to the local law there.

00:20:53.000 So it's not unusual.

00:20:55.000 So we dropped it.

00:20:55.000 We just wasted five grand.

00:20:57.000 Time goes by.

00:20:59.000 The Griffin closes for a few days to think about their horrible sins.

00:21:04.000 Then they have a benefit where they raise money for the AD and the SPLC.

00:21:08.000 Then business just starts going like that.

00:21:10.000 Sorry, not good enough.

00:21:12.000 Your balancer paused and that's messed up.

00:21:16.000 So now they have to sell the venue.

00:21:19.000 The venues shut down because a multicultural group of patriots were not kicked out quickly enough.

00:21:30.000 Crazy.

00:21:31.000 Clown World.

00:21:32.000 We need a soundboard for Clown World.

00:21:34.000 It's Hong Kong.

00:21:35.000 No, yeah, okay, just Hong Kong.

00:21:37.000 Well, that's what they do in text form, too.

00:21:37.000 Yeah.

00:21:39.000 Yeah, Hong Kong.

00:21:40.000 But shouldn't it be Hong Kong Clown World?

00:21:43.000 That's pretty fun.

00:21:44.000 And then no, that's way too long.

00:21:50.000 Clown World.

00:21:51.000 You're the king Midas of shit.

00:21:54.000 Everything I touch turned to shit.

00:21:56.000 No, it should just be all we need is Hong Kong clown world.

00:21:56.000 Yeah.

00:22:00.000 Boom.

00:22:00.000 That's cool.

00:22:01.000 Somebody will submit something.

00:22:03.000 So, the reason I tell you that I lied was that there's been some news.

00:22:09.000 Apparently there's been some racist and anti-Semitic graffiti in Breezy Point at a bar called the Silver Bell.

00:22:18.000 It's a beach club.

00:22:18.000 It's not a bar.

00:22:20.000 So Breezy Point is the bottom of Queens.

00:22:22.000 It's just like Long Island, and it's a long, long, skinny penis of a peninsula.

00:22:27.000 So there's beach on both sides.

00:22:29.000 This beach is kind of wave crashy, and this beach is super long.

00:22:33.000 And along this super long part beach, which could be anywhere in Jamaica, it's beautiful, there is a weird spot that's called the Silver Bell Beach Club.

00:22:45.000 And it's actually not part of Breezy, even though it's in Breezy, and it's owned by the federal government.

00:22:50.000 It was predominantly Jewish, I think, for a while.

00:22:51.000 I think it's owned by a Jewish guy.

00:22:53.000 And apparently he's a dick.

00:22:56.000 So my guess is the employees, who aren't necessarily from Breezy, a lot of them are from Brooklyn in general, who work there, got sick of this guy's shit.

00:23:04.000 And to piss him off and offend him and wreck his place, they did anti-Semitic graffiti like – is there – It should be in the links of that previous one.

00:23:17.000 They wrote things like Gas Chamber.

00:23:21.000 I don't know what else.

00:23:23.000 Heil Hitler.

00:23:24.000 Heil Hitler.

00:23:26.000 That's a little on the map.

00:23:27.000 I think they also threw some N-words there.

00:23:32.000 Now, this is not Nazi skinheads descending on a place.

00:23:35.000 This is disgruntled teenagers being stupid assholes, as you can tell by the way their graffiti is.

00:23:41.000 Kind of terrifying.

00:23:43.000 No, it is not.

00:23:44.000 Are you serious?

00:23:45.000 The hands, yeah.

00:23:46.000 Yeah.

00:23:47.000 That's like what my six-year-old son would do if he had a gripe with his boss.

00:23:51.000 I'm also terrified at like, yeah, the things hanging on your fridge when they come over.

00:23:55.000 Hand paint art.

00:23:57.000 Anyway, so I've just told you the truth.

00:23:57.000 Yeah.

00:24:01.000 I caught you up to everything.

00:24:03.000 But Cuomo is a dunce.

00:24:06.000 And Cuomo is furious about this.

00:24:09.000 And he's noticed that he gets a lot of traction when he pretends there's racism everywhere and things are a huge deal.

00:24:15.000 We saw a sharpied swastika in a bathroom stall.

00:24:19.000 So we will be pursuing this to the fullest extent of the law.

00:24:24.000 No, you're too soon on that, you fuckhead.

00:24:26.000 Why are you showing that?

00:24:28.000 Oops.

00:24:31.000 So here is my theory.

00:24:33.000 My theory is that word got out, obviously.

00:24:36.000 No, let me go back a bit.

00:24:39.000 Cuomo hates my guts, and he sees the Proud Boys as a good way to leverage his own personality.

00:24:44.000 So if he can make me into David Duke, it helps his political aspirations.

00:24:49.000 It helps him have power.

00:24:52.000 It gives him power because if there are Nazis running all over New York, then we need a task force.

00:24:57.000 And guess what a task force means?

00:24:59.000 More money for him, more power for him, more police, just more Cuomo.

00:25:05.000 And he's done this before.

00:25:06.000 He's used this before.

00:25:08.000 After the fight, after my talk, he threatened me, said he wanted to fight, said I'm from Queens, tough guy.

00:25:15.000 I'd love to fight Cuomo.

00:25:16.000 Oh my God.

00:25:17.000 I'm almost getting a boner thinking about it.

00:25:20.000 In the ring, obviously.

00:25:23.000 And he also has used it in politics.

00:25:24.000 He was up against Ed Cox.

00:25:26.000 He wanted to obliterate the Republicans.

00:25:29.000 And after that talk, he kept bringing up the Proud Boys all the time.

00:25:32.000 And when he was in a political argument with Ed Cox, now you can pull it up.

00:25:37.000 No, not A.M. New York, but New York State of Politics.

00:25:40.000 Yes.

00:25:41.000 Oh, he said, why would the Republican Party invite the Proud Boys, who are known to be a hate group, who are known to incite violence?

00:25:48.000 He's talking about me doing a talk at the Manhattan Republican Club where I'd been many times before.

00:25:52.000 They didn't invite the Proud Boys.

00:25:54.000 And yes, they are known as a hate group by the SBLC who are being sued for that nomination.

00:26:00.000 And then Cuomo says, in a stultifying irony, it's a political tactic because what they're trying to do is fire up their base.

00:26:08.000 He says this sentence as he's trying to fire up his base.

00:26:11.000 And then he added, referring to the state Republican chairman, are you a proud boy, Mr. Cox?

00:26:16.000 So the reason I bring this up is to show you that I'm clearly on Cuomo's radar.

00:26:21.000 So here's what I think happened.

00:26:23.000 He's got a bunch of staff, right?

00:26:25.000 Half of them are doing social media garbage.

00:26:28.000 It's New York State.

00:26:29.000 New York is Tammany Hall.

00:26:31.000 It's totally corrupt.

00:26:32.000 So there's like just people doing, like you hear about De Blasio's staff and his wife has got this program like to help, I don't know, bullying and education.

00:26:42.000 And there's like millions and millions of dollars poured into just a poster.

00:26:46.000 So Cuomo has a bunch of employees that are just like, it's like the movie Brazil, where one room scrambles up numbers and then the other room unscrambles them.

00:26:53.000 They're digging holes and filling them in again.

00:26:56.000 So he probably has one person whose job is just to follow me and Proud Boys every time it comes up on Google.

00:27:02.000 And they watch my show.

00:27:03.000 They're watching this show.

00:27:05.000 Ironically, the person I'm making fun of, the stupid, useless bureaucrat, the Luddite, you, sir, that is watching me right now on Cuomo's behalf, you're a waste of humanity.

00:27:19.000 You're a fucking loser.

00:27:22.000 You're a zero.

00:27:23.000 This is your job.

00:27:25.000 Chasing ghosts, chasing a mythical Nazi?

00:27:29.000 You are an irrelevant human being.

00:27:32.000 You're not helping.

00:27:33.000 You know what you are?

00:27:34.000 You're worse than a ghostbuster.

00:27:37.000 You are one of these loser reality shows where you pretend that there was a rustling in the basement and then they cut to a commercial.

00:27:44.000 That's you, you useless turd.

00:27:48.000 People are busting their asses in New York trying to make money and you're a succubus, a leech.

00:27:57.000 You are sucking this money into your stupid sweater vest, going to Central Park and having a picnic with your ugly girlfriend because you're a useless fucking turd.

00:28:11.000 Anyway, this guy that I was just talking to goes to Cuomo and he goes, I think I got something.

00:28:19.000 Oh, good.

00:28:20.000 Because you haven't had anything since October 12th when I hired you to be Gavin's spy.

00:28:33.000 Sorry.

00:28:34.000 I always have to answer my phone because my kids' first day of school and I want to make sure everything went okay.

00:28:41.000 He goes to Cuomo and he says, I think I got something.

00:28:44.000 McInnis, he calls me McInnes.

00:28:46.000 McInnis, it was in Breezy Point this summer, all August.

00:28:49.000 He shot a show from there, live from Breezy.

00:28:51.000 I watched it.

00:28:52.000 A lot of disgusting stuff.

00:28:53.000 Really misogynistic.

00:28:55.000 And if it's in an email, he spelt misogynistic wrong.

00:28:58.000 Even though misogynistic itself is already irritating because the ick is superfluous.

00:29:04.000 So we must have had Proud Boys there, right?

00:29:06.000 And Cuomo goes, yeah, what do you got?

00:29:08.000 What do you got, kid?

00:29:10.000 And then he just goes like this and shows them the headline that there's racist and anti-Semitic graffiti all over the beach bar at Breezy Point.

00:29:20.000 And they don't know that that part isn't technically Breezy Point.

00:29:23.000 And he goes, it must have been Proud Boys.

00:29:26.000 Gavin must have had them over in droves.

00:29:29.000 And then they went loose like a pack of wild animals riding gas chamber on everything.

00:29:34.000 So here's what we're going to do.

00:29:36.000 I want you to come down like a ton of bricks on this place.

00:29:38.000 I want you to get all the videotapes.

00:29:40.000 We need to find these Proud Boys.

00:29:41.000 He probably envisions them wearing like surf shorts and the Proud Boys uniform and doing all this.

00:29:49.000 And the best part about this, I'll give you some advice, bureaucrat, just lie.

00:29:55.000 Like I can prove I wasn't there, but your voice is bigger than mine.

00:30:00.000 So just say, yeah, we found them.

00:30:01.000 It was Proud Boys.

00:30:03.000 He was shooting a show live from Breezy.

00:30:03.000 They did it.

00:30:05.000 We got our bad guy.

00:30:06.000 And oh, I can't go on social media.

00:30:08.000 I can't go on Twitter and Instagram and prove myself wrong.

00:30:11.000 So you control the narrative.

00:30:13.000 Go bananas with it.

00:30:15.000 You fucking loser.

00:30:16.000 And when you're on your deathbed and you're on your last moments, you'll be sitting there going, I was a vile little piece of shit.

00:30:24.000 I lied.

00:30:25.000 I framed people.

00:30:27.000 God damn it.

00:30:28.000 I guess I'm going to hell.

00:30:30.000 And you will go to hell.

00:30:32.000 And I don't care.

00:30:34.000 I don't really care either way.

00:30:37.000 Speaking of Proud Boys, they were in a show.

00:30:39.000 I guess there's a show called Secession.

00:30:41.000 Wait, did I not send you this?

00:30:43.000 I think you did.

00:30:44.000 Here we go.

00:30:44.000 Okay.

00:30:45.000 Oh, here we go.

00:30:45.000 Tucker and Proud Boys on Secession.

00:30:47.000 Secession is a show on HBO.

00:30:50.000 And Tucker posed with Proud Boys once.

00:30:54.000 He got in big trouble for this.

00:30:55.000 See if you can find this picture.

00:30:57.000 And it was like, Tucker poses with racist hate group.

00:31:00.000 And you go, that sounds pretty bad.

00:31:02.000 The problem is, in the picture, one of the Proud Boys is black.

00:31:08.000 So what I've noticed they do in the articles is they say Tucker poses with well-known hate group.

00:31:13.000 Then for the first picture, they just show Tucker.

00:31:16.000 And then you scroll, scroll, scroll, which the incurious never do in our mentally obese times.

00:31:22.000 And then eventually you see, oh, it's a black dude.

00:31:25.000 And by the way, hold on.

00:31:27.000 And a Spanish dude.

00:31:28.000 He's one of those Caucasian-looking Hispanics.

00:31:31.000 The other guy.

00:31:32.000 I don't want to say his name, but.

00:31:36.000 So, okay, so they go.

00:31:38.000 He posed with a hate group.

00:31:39.000 He's got hate group fans.

00:31:41.000 Ergo.

00:31:41.000 Even though those guys were being bodyguards for Roger Stone, Roger was on Tucker, so they happened to be in the green room.

00:31:47.000 They followed Roger around when he's in town and make sure he doesn't get fucked with.

00:31:52.000 You know, because it's a sin to make sure that conservatives don't get beat up.

00:31:56.000 Anyway, so on this show, they amalgamate all that into their silly, stupid narrative.

00:32:01.000 And this is what I love about this clip, by the way.

00:32:03.000 And you'll see this in, I sent you the link.

00:32:05.000 You sent me a clip?

00:32:06.000 Well, it's in the fucking thing.

00:32:10.000 Newsbusters.

00:32:13.000 The thing I love about this clip is these shows, it's written by a nerd who's never been outside, some fat loser who's had one girlfriend his whole life.

00:32:23.000 And then the act, and he injects all this sort of arrogance, hubris.

00:32:28.000 That's my word of the week, hubris.

00:32:30.000 He injects all this arrogance and pomposity into the script, and then the actors ramp that up.

00:32:36.000 So you're dealing with just basically the coolest, most overt people in the world, man, who are, oh, yeah, what's that?

00:32:42.000 Oh, that's boring.

00:32:43.000 Meanwhile, you're looking at actors, the biggest gay lords in the world.

00:32:51.000 I mean, you know, those drama club kids in high school who are so fucking annoying and make bracelets and stuff.

00:32:58.000 They're still them.

00:32:59.000 They don't change.

00:33:00.000 They don't become grizzled.

00:33:02.000 They don't work at an oil tanker for a few years and not be that high school kid.

00:33:06.000 All actors you see on TV are drama club geeks.

00:33:11.000 They're zeros.

00:33:12.000 They're embarrassing.

00:33:13.000 They wear funny socks.

00:33:17.000 And the writers are even below them.

00:33:19.000 At least the drama club geeks got laid.

00:33:22.000 They were really annoying about it and they said too much stuff during the act.

00:33:27.000 But the guys who had a crush on the drama club girl, those are the writers now.

00:33:31.000 So you're dealing with the biggest losers in the world.

00:33:34.000 Almost bigger losers than the guy Cuom was hired to watch this show.

00:33:38.000 And here they are acting like the Fawns, totally getting it, man.

00:33:42.000 All right, so what do you got to give to us, Drama Club Girl?

00:33:48.000 So what's the current thinking on Ravenhead?

00:33:50.000 Ravenhead, stick with him.

00:33:52.000 Young talent.

00:33:53.000 Nice guy.

00:33:54.000 Your dad likes him.

00:33:54.000 And he's one of our most popular actors.

00:33:57.000 Yeah.

00:33:58.000 So to be clear, her dad is Roger Ailes in this metaphor.

00:34:03.000 And Ravenhead is Tucker Carlson.

00:34:08.000 Sure, but is he a fascist?

00:34:10.000 Just pause.

00:34:10.000 Wow.

00:34:12.000 So you're supposed to believe here that real people who work at real networks, like say, let's go to Fox.

00:34:18.000 Let's go to Suzanne Scott and Bill Schein.

00:34:21.000 So Bill Schein and Suzanne Scott, which wait a minute, that might be who this is sort of meant to be, although Suzanne Scott isn't the daughter of Roger Ailes.

00:34:29.000 She's very close with him.

00:34:31.000 I've met Bill Schein and Suzanne Scott quite a bit.

00:34:34.000 They're the top executives, although Bill's not at Fox anymore.

00:34:38.000 They're the top executives at Fox News.

00:34:41.000 The idea that Suzanne Scott would just be sitting in a car going, yeah, but is he a fascist?

00:34:48.000 No one uses the word fascist in real life.

00:34:52.000 Sorry.

00:34:53.000 There are no intelligent human beings over the age of 20 that go, yeah, I know he's a good worker, but is he a fascist?

00:35:02.000 It's unfathomable.

00:35:04.000 Yeah, we had a, sorry, boss.

00:35:05.000 We had someone in here earlier.

00:35:06.000 We asked them to leave.

00:35:07.000 They were actually a fascist.

00:35:09.000 It's not a word.

00:35:11.000 It's like intersectionality.

00:35:13.000 It doesn't leave college and Antifa rallies.

00:35:17.000 People don't use the word fascist.

00:35:20.000 Good lord.

00:35:23.000 TV writer of you.

00:35:25.000 You've seen the video, Tom.

00:35:26.000 He's right there with the fascists.

00:35:28.000 It was a long time.

00:35:29.000 The video.

00:35:30.000 You've seen the video, Tom.

00:35:32.000 He's right there with the fascists.

00:35:32.000 That's the picture I was just talking about of Tucker.

00:35:35.000 And look how cool she is.

00:35:37.000 Did she just beat the shit out of 10 Russian bodyguards and then smoke a dube with Snoop Dogg?

00:35:43.000 Like people don't act that cool.

00:35:49.000 Time ago.

00:35:50.000 He was interested in politics.

00:35:51.000 He gets invited to a conference.

00:35:53.000 He's excited.

00:35:54.000 He has no idea who he's sitting on a panel with.

00:35:56.000 It's all perfectly plausible.

00:35:58.000 Oh, yeah, it's plausible, but is it true?

00:36:00.000 Shiv, come on.

00:36:01.000 Who wasn't a bit salty when they were 21?

00:36:03.000 He's grown up now.

00:36:04.000 He lives in Connecticut.

00:36:05.000 He's crazy about the Knicks.

00:36:07.000 He's just pods.

00:36:08.000 That might be me.

00:36:09.000 That sounds very youish.

00:36:10.000 I think I often get lumped in.

00:36:12.000 Like, they make amalgams.

00:36:14.000 It's been a Gavin Richard Spencer machine.

00:36:16.000 This could be a Gavin Tucker Carlson.

00:36:17.000 I live in Westchester.

00:36:18.000 I love the Mets.

00:36:19.000 I see what they do.

00:36:20.000 They make a Voltron out of little parts of all people.

00:36:23.000 And that's because they know so little about everyone, and they're too lazy to do research.

00:36:27.000 They just go, I'll just make a big bubblegum amalgamation of all the tiny pieces I've thought of.

00:36:36.000 Lovely guy.

00:36:37.000 And his demo skews younger.

00:36:40.000 Fuck is this?

00:36:41.000 Bravenhead fanboys.

00:36:45.000 Morning, assholes.

00:36:46.000 Hey, those are all assholes.

00:36:47.000 This is morning, assholes.

00:36:49.000 Well, check it out.

00:36:54.000 By the way, when you're a, I don't know, 39-year-old woman and you're walking into a mob, your attitude is, oh, Jesus, this looks like, is this, are we, is this going to be okay?

00:37:04.000 Like when Charles Murray did that talk at a college, I think it was in upstate New York, and the mob was screaming and attacking.

00:37:11.000 And then she said, Charles, I'm really sorry about this.

00:37:13.000 And she tried to lead him forward, petrified.

00:37:15.000 She got tackled.

00:37:16.000 I think they broke her ankle.

00:37:17.000 I know she had to go to the hospital.

00:37:19.000 So I don't know why you're sitting there with your stoga going, good day, assholes.

00:37:25.000 Even the guys were just like, yeah, the guy's like, I'm just a man who's six foot four.

00:37:30.000 What am I?

00:37:31.000 I'm not 18 people.

00:37:33.000 This is a problem.

00:37:34.000 I'm not a little girl in an Archie Andrews comic.

00:37:36.000 And she's like, technically, they're your assholes.

00:37:39.000 I used to stack these assholes five feet high.

00:37:43.000 Use them as sandbags in Korea.

00:37:46.000 Yeah, she's a tough cookie.

00:37:48.000 Okay, now who are these assholes?

00:37:52.000 Can you imagine if someone actually cleaned up here with a cleansing fucking zeal?

00:37:56.000 Like Mary Hoppins with a heart on?

00:37:59.000 No, like me.

00:38:00.000 Or you.

00:38:01.000 Just pause.

00:38:02.000 Did she just say, can you imagine someone cleaned up here with a cleansing fucking zeal?

00:38:06.000 Someone like me?

00:38:08.000 What are you going to do?

00:38:09.000 Kill all the Proud Boys in Antifa?

00:38:11.000 And there's another misnomer here.

00:38:13.000 I overused that word.

00:38:14.000 There's another misunderstanding here.

00:38:16.000 And lazy people always do this.

00:38:17.000 They always say, well, actually, Trump did it with Charlottesville, the previous thing to Charlottesville, which was the statues.

00:38:24.000 Don't get it twisted.

00:38:25.000 Where he said, ah, there's people on both sides.

00:38:28.000 Or it's that thing where you go, some people say this, some people say this.

00:38:32.000 The answer is probably somewhere in between.

00:38:34.000 Sounds good.

00:38:35.000 It's like the sound good theory.

00:38:37.000 Like, ah, Gavin probably quit the Prowboys because, you know, they were getting out of hand.

00:38:41.000 They were getting too violent.

00:38:42.000 He didn't want to be part of that.

00:38:43.000 No.

00:38:45.000 They've not been getting more violent.

00:38:46.000 They've been doing the same thing forever.

00:38:47.000 I quit to alleviate sentences in jail.

00:38:51.000 And it worked for nine of the 11.

00:38:54.000 Seven of the 11.

00:38:56.000 Eight of the 11, sorry.

00:38:58.000 And this whole thing with Antifa and Proud Boys, ah, they're both fucked.

00:39:02.000 That's just keep both these assholes.

00:39:06.000 No, one of them shows up at events and starts riots, like what just happened in Portland on the 17th of August.

00:39:14.000 Proud Boys planned a thing.

00:39:16.000 They went across the bridge, planted one American flag, and went home.

00:39:20.000 That's it.

00:39:21.000 And they refused to fight.

00:39:22.000 They were determined not to get into any trouble whatsoever.

00:39:25.000 There was a different group that was on a bus, and a guy had a hammer on that bus.

00:39:30.000 Antifa attacked the bus.

00:39:31.000 They pried open the door.

00:39:33.000 They smashed the windows and they were pepper spraying into any hole they could make, making the bus driver unable to breathe or see.

00:39:39.000 So someone in that bus, after the door is open, he comes out with a hammer.

00:39:43.000 Someone grabs the hammer and starts hitting him with it.

00:39:46.000 Hits him in the ribs, breaks his ribs.

00:39:47.000 That guy was arrested.

00:39:48.000 He had a shirt on that said beta cuck for life.

00:39:52.000 That's right.

00:39:54.000 So Proud Boys did that rally in Portland to say, hey, we're not the violent ones.

00:40:00.000 They are.

00:40:01.000 Watch this.

00:40:01.000 I'll dip my toe in the water and retreat and the whole pool will go crazy with piranhas.

00:40:08.000 And it did.

00:40:09.000 15 have been arrested.

00:40:10.000 15 since then.

00:40:13.000 And guess who's got their backs?

00:40:15.000 Oh, there's a good picture of what happened.

00:40:20.000 Yes, the guy on the bus had the hammer first.

00:40:23.000 So what?

00:40:24.000 He was trying to defend his life.

00:40:26.000 They were attacking the bus, smashing the windows, and pepper spraying the holes.

00:40:32.000 What do you do after that?

00:40:33.000 You have to come out.

00:40:34.000 You get attacked.

00:40:36.000 Sounds like a great place for a hammer.

00:40:37.000 And those weren't Proud Boys.

00:40:38.000 But anyway, AOC has noticed the arrest.

00:40:42.000 She's noticed that the PB plan worked.

00:40:44.000 And she is compelling.

00:40:46.000 Oh, so he comes back with the hammer.

00:40:49.000 You know, my philosophy is just let all these people fight.

00:40:52.000 We don't need police involvement.

00:40:54.000 Anyway, AOC tweeted out a defense fund for the violent protesters in Boston.

00:41:05.000 Sorry.

00:41:06.000 Is it Boston?

00:41:07.000 Oh, wait.

00:41:08.000 She's done both.

00:41:11.000 Yeah.

00:41:12.000 This is another thing she's done.

00:41:12.000 So, sorry.

00:41:14.000 So she, in both cases, she's promoting these defense funds to help Antifa.

00:41:19.000 Now, there was also in the Straight Pride Parade, the exact same thing happened.

00:41:22.000 Antifa went ballistic, started attacking people, and there were arrests.

00:41:26.000 So AOC's reaction is, let's have a defense fund, because if you go and plant a flag across a bridge, or if you march down the street with a sign that says it's okay to be straight, then in both cases, you're a white supremacist.

00:41:42.000 Even if you're black.

00:41:43.000 Did you know that?

00:41:46.000 Yes.

00:41:47.000 So go back to AOC's tweet.

00:41:51.000 I got it twist.

00:41:52.000 One way to support the local LGBT community impacted by Boston's white supremacist parade.

00:41:58.000 Wait a minute.

00:41:59.000 Why would LGBTQ care about white supremacy?

00:42:05.000 Those are two different things.

00:42:07.000 Eh, you know.

00:42:08.000 Are the handicapped community impacted by...

00:42:17.000 What hurts them with white supremacy?

00:42:20.000 She's so stupid.

00:42:22.000 Anyway, what's it say next?

00:42:23.000 Contribute to the bail fund for the activists who put themselves on the line protecting the Boston community.

00:42:31.000 Yes.

00:42:33.000 We may have to double check, actually, that she was pushing for a defense fund for the Antifa in Portland.

00:42:40.000 I'm only 71% sure about that.

00:42:45.000 But does it matter when she's trying to get the Boston Antifa released?

00:42:49.000 By the way, speaking of black white supremacists, there was a black white supremacist in Grand Central this weekend.

00:42:57.000 Show this clip.

00:42:59.000 So, sorry, I'm hopping all over the map here.

00:43:04.000 Oh, that's the, is it the Infowars?

00:43:06.000 Yeah, Grand Central protest.

00:43:11.000 I participated in one of these.

00:43:13.000 Back before I was too famous, I infiltrated Black Lives Matter on behalf of Project Very TAS as a punk rocker named Chippy.

00:43:21.000 And I had on a hat that said LMFAO.

00:43:24.000 It was actually my daughter's hat, and my tattoos helped, and I had my punk coat, and my beard was big.

00:43:29.000 And I guess it was so long ago that I wasn't that recognized.

00:43:33.000 And I was able to infiltrate them, and we went and we did a die-in representing all the black victims of cops.

00:43:40.000 And they handed out all these signs of their names, and there was a ton of signs.

00:43:44.000 I looked up most of the names later, and it was all pulled a cop.

00:43:47.000 I mean, pulled a gun on a cop, walked into a police station with a knife.

00:43:51.000 It was never just like, hello, I am trying to get to Los.

00:43:57.000 So they go back.

00:43:58.000 It's got to be the same group because look at this.

00:44:00.000 Show the video or the picture.

00:44:03.000 No.

00:44:04.000 So it says, first they came for the tall, but you see on the far left there, you see that poster board?

00:44:10.000 Yeah.

00:44:11.000 Now, those aren't cheap.

00:44:12.000 I've made them at Kinko's.

00:44:13.000 When we had a memorial for people who had died of winning AIDS after Trump was elected, back before Clown World took over, I made a bunch and the bill was nuts.

00:44:22.000 They're like $60 each or something.

00:44:25.000 Anyway, when you have a stack of them like this, we're into the hundreds.

00:44:29.000 And I noticed everyone handing them out.

00:44:31.000 I could just tell that they were lesbian lawyers.

00:44:34.000 And it looks like the same group was involved in this.

00:44:37.000 These weird lesbian lawyers getting Soros money and a seemingly blank check for Kinkos.

00:44:44.000 But stop, stop, stop.

00:44:45.000 So this guy braves the crowd, the mob.

00:44:49.000 He walks into a mob with a Trump 2020 sign and confronts them all and says, you guys think less of blacks.

00:44:58.000 You think we're your little pets?

00:44:59.000 You think we're victims?

00:45:00.000 Fine.

00:45:00.000 Give me reparations then.

00:45:01.000 I'm not asking for reparations, but if that's your politics, then hand them over right now.

00:45:06.000 Trump's a patriot.

00:45:07.000 You guys have all been brainwashed.

00:45:09.000 Anyway, check it out.

00:45:09.000 Trump 2020, baby.

00:45:11.000 Trump 2020.

00:45:12.000 Ain't nothing black about them, but it's not color.

00:45:15.000 It's not about color.

00:45:17.000 It's not about color.

00:45:19.000 It's about policy.

00:45:20.000 It's about policy.

00:45:21.000 Protecting you as citizens.

00:45:23.000 Protect you as citizens.

00:45:25.000 You're a brainwashed.

00:45:26.000 Go sit down somewhere.

00:45:27.000 You're a brainwashed.

00:45:28.000 Go sit down somewhere.

00:45:29.000 I'm your next governor.

00:45:30.000 Sit me down.

00:45:31.000 And watch what kind of policies I ain't at.

00:45:33.000 The nonsense is over in the state of New York.

00:45:36.000 Something fishy is going on with the people around here.

00:45:38.000 Keep going.

00:45:39.000 Ignore the counter protesters.

00:45:49.000 They have a sign that says ignore the counter protesters.

00:45:55.000 You got the right to do that?

00:45:55.000 I have the right to do this.

00:45:57.000 See those signs?

00:45:58.000 Those are the same signs as the last one.

00:46:00.000 The cardstock, whatever you call it, foam cord.

00:46:04.000 First, they came from the toddlers.

00:46:09.000 Close the camps.

00:46:10.000 What do we do?

00:46:11.000 Tell me what to do when 200 people...

00:46:15.000 wait wait i want to hear what he said That's why I do not like white liberals and a Democrat.

00:46:24.000 They are the worst on this earth.

00:46:26.000 A white liberal Democrat wants to control you.

00:46:29.000 That's what they want to do.

00:46:31.000 They are fucking dead.

00:46:33.000 If you ain't white liberal Democrat, pay me reparation because y'all say I deserve it.

00:46:39.000 But you're gonna say I deserve it.

00:46:40.000 And I want you to be turned over to the Trump campaign.

00:46:43.000 I do not want your money.

00:46:45.000 You say I deserve reparation.

00:46:47.000 White liberals and Democrats pay up.

00:46:49.000 If you a white liberal democrat because you told me I deserve reparation.

00:46:54.000 I did not ask for it.

00:46:56.000 They told me that to the vote.

00:46:58.000 But you won't get my vote.

00:46:59.000 My vote is going here for Trump 2020.

00:47:02.000 But if you're a white liberal Democrat, pay up.

00:47:04.000 If you have white guilt, I have the cure for your white guilt.

00:47:08.000 Put your money in my bank account and you will be healed.

00:47:13.000 That's fucking great, huh?

00:47:15.000 At the gym today, where I'm getting a new box.

00:47:17.000 I'm back in the gym, by the way.

00:47:19.000 Very disappointed with the strength in these Elmo arms.

00:47:24.000 I was doing overhand writes that if I did them to your face, you would say, can you stop that, please?

00:47:29.000 I'm trying to get work done.

00:47:30.000 I'd Pillsbury Doughboy it.

00:47:33.000 I'm going to go on HGH.

00:47:35.000 Are you really?

00:47:35.000 Yes.

00:47:36.000 What does it do?

00:47:36.000 What are the side effects?

00:47:38.000 Human growth hormones.

00:47:39.000 Yeah, what are the side effects, though?

00:47:41.000 Prostate cancer, baldness, crazy mood swings, and you grow tits.

00:47:47.000 Oh, wow.

00:47:48.000 All of those, huh?

00:47:49.000 Besides that, you're carrot top.

00:47:51.000 Yeah, I said, what are the side effects, though?

00:47:53.000 Oh, the side effects are you're fucking ripped.

00:47:55.000 Oh, I see.

00:47:56.000 That's good trade.

00:47:57.000 I'm just going to try it for a little bit.

00:48:00.000 And it's not steroids, per se.

00:48:02.000 It helps your body create steroids.

00:48:04.000 Oh, I see.

00:48:05.000 But it's done with a doctor, and they measure all your shit, and then they give you estrogen blockers to avoid tits.

00:48:10.000 Nice.

00:48:11.000 The baldness is not good.

00:48:12.000 don't want to lose this it's my only if they give you estrogen blockers i don't know if you'd You'd probably not be able to understand what I say to you anymore.

00:48:20.000 Yeah, I'll say, when you play the music you like, I'll just hear...

00:48:27.000 Yeah.

00:48:30.000 I'll go, what do you think of this song?

00:48:32.000 Well, why don't you play it?

00:48:34.000 There's static feedback.

00:48:35.000 No, we just played Gloria Estevan's Rhythm of the Night.

00:48:39.000 I'm sorry.

00:48:40.000 Okay, let me try and sling Dion.

00:48:44.000 But you also hear live from New York.

00:48:47.000 That comes through just fine.

00:48:49.000 That emerges perfectly.

00:48:52.000 Speaking of black people, at the gym, one of the guys there told me that he read an article where Dave Chappelle was listed as a white supremacist.

00:49:05.000 Just makes me feel weak.

00:49:06.000 Clown World is getting funny again.

00:49:08.000 It's sort of like a joke, a really stupid joke.

00:49:11.000 Like, are you trying to get with me?

00:49:13.000 Like, say I said that to you, right?

00:49:15.000 Yeah.

00:49:15.000 And you'd go, what?

00:49:17.000 And then, like, three times, wait, are you trying to get with me?

00:49:20.000 Are you trying to get?

00:49:21.000 Are you trying to get with me?

00:49:21.000 What are you doing?

00:49:23.000 Not funny.

00:49:24.000 And then like six, seven, eight, nine, ten, it's getting annoying.

00:49:28.000 Yeah.

00:49:29.000 Joke's over.

00:49:30.000 Then we get back up 14, 15, 16.

00:49:33.000 We're on day four now.

00:49:36.000 And you're like, that's funny.

00:49:39.000 All right, so yeah, yeah, it comes back around.

00:49:42.000 That's right.

00:49:42.000 Yeah, it comes back around.

00:49:43.000 And now when I go, wait, are you trying to get with me?

00:49:45.000 Now it's become part of our vocabulary.

00:49:47.000 It's become an inside joke with us.

00:49:48.000 And now it's fun.

00:49:49.000 That's a thing.

00:49:50.000 That's a fun thing.

00:49:51.000 Now we start doing it to other people, and then they feel the same way that we first felt.

00:49:55.000 And I just want to hold their hands and go, we're going on a voyage.

00:49:59.000 We're going on a trip.

00:50:00.000 And it's going to get rocky.

00:50:02.000 There's going to be some turbulence.

00:50:04.000 But eventually, we're going to get to the promised land.

00:50:07.000 And that's how I feel with Clown World.

00:50:09.000 Dave Chappelle's a white supremacist.

00:50:11.000 Now you're funny again.

00:50:13.000 You've gone from exasperating, throwing my friends in prison for 15 years for coming to one of my talks.

00:50:19.000 That was not hilarious, but we're getting funny again.

00:50:23.000 I see, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:25.000 Anyway, Owen Benjamin put up a video.

00:50:31.000 One of his bears.

00:50:32.000 I can't do an Owen Benjamin.

00:50:33.000 Ah, dude, it's brutal.

00:50:35.000 I'm doing Burr's material now.

00:50:37.000 Why is he doing Burr's material with Jim Gaffikins aside?

00:50:41.000 So Owen Benjamin points out to the world that the whole funny LGBT joke that Dave Chappelle did, I put that there because we're going to get stepped on.

00:50:48.000 Gotcha.

00:50:49.000 Thank you.

00:50:52.000 It's his.

00:50:54.000 Now, if he was a good editor, he would have done the L and the L and the G and the G. So this is a bit, I'm giving you just like the flour and the eggs and the butter and the milk and the baking powder and a little bit of salt and some sugar of the pancakes.

00:51:10.000 but let's make some pancakes together.

00:51:12.000 That's what I feel bad for her, because you got the LBGT, right?

00:51:16.000 Yeah.

00:51:18.000 There's more every day, I know.

00:51:19.000 But I'll tell you what it happens.

00:51:23.000 It all started with the L's.

00:51:25.000 And the L's are great.

00:51:27.000 No one has a problem with the L's.

00:51:29.000 That's pretty unique.

00:51:30.000 You say the L's are great.

00:51:31.000 And everyone's like, oh, yeah, L's.

00:51:32.000 Great.

00:51:33.000 You guys are really cool.

00:51:34.000 You're great dinner guests.

00:51:37.000 You know?

00:51:37.000 Because they love knickknacking.

00:51:39.000 But they always have interesting magnets.

00:51:42.000 You know, it's like a Sylvia poem on a mug.

00:51:45.000 But they're good people.

00:51:46.000 And then the Gs came in.

00:51:48.000 And the G's are cool, but they're male.

00:51:50.000 So they're a little more aggressive, but they're a blast.

00:51:53.000 You know, they're like, hey, we're the G's.

00:51:55.000 Males are like, hey, G's, what are you guys up to?

00:51:57.000 They're like, you know, we're facing some discrimination.

00:51:59.000 Why don't we team up?

00:52:00.000 You guys have the Subarus.

00:52:01.000 We got like Red.

00:52:02.000 Can you just pause it?

00:52:03.000 this is actually better than Dave Chappelle's.

00:52:05.000 It's much more sophisticated.

00:52:08.000 Chappelle was just like, Then there's a G's.

00:52:10.000 They suck shit.

00:52:12.000 They're in a car, and they're like, Y'all want to bang?

00:52:16.000 Then he does the hits his leg.

00:52:21.000 Dave.

00:52:23.000 I'm your friend Trip.

00:52:26.000 Go ahead.

00:52:29.000 We're pretty ripped, and we're fun.

00:52:30.000 We're hilarious.

00:52:33.000 So let's do that.

00:52:34.000 You know, we're a little unpredictable.

00:52:35.000 We might have a coke problem, but let's all team up.

00:52:38.000 And the altar went great.

00:52:39.000 And at this point, everything's going great.

00:52:41.000 And then the bees came in.

00:52:43.000 The bees threw people for a loop because you never really know if you can go camping with them, but they're cool.

00:52:49.000 You never quite know if you can go camping with them.

00:52:52.000 You know, they're like, we'll bang anybody.

00:52:54.000 They're like, anybody?

00:52:56.000 Anybody.

00:52:59.000 So he just said right there, the bees will bang anybody.

00:53:02.000 Yep.

00:53:02.000 Yes.

00:53:04.000 And at that point, everything's going good.

00:53:06.000 And then everything changed with the T's.

00:53:09.000 The Ts came in.

00:53:11.000 Right?

00:53:12.000 And they were like, hey, we're the T's.

00:53:14.000 And they're like, hey, what's going on with you guys?

00:53:16.000 They're like, yeah, we're being discriminated against.

00:53:18.000 And everyone's like, oh, we'll protect you, T's.

00:53:20.000 And they're like, yes, what's up, Chopper Cockstella?

00:53:24.000 And everyone's like, whoa, man.

00:53:26.000 What's going on with you?

00:53:27.000 And they're like, oh, my God, Japan doesn't even exist.

00:53:31.000 Nothing matters.

00:53:32.000 A four-year-old can be a T. Everyone's like, dude, can we kick out the T?

00:53:36.000 They're like, no, he's already brought the Q's, the A's, and the I's.

00:53:38.000 And they're like, we're going to burn this bitch down.

00:53:42.000 And he went to the bottom.

00:53:45.000 We're going to burn this bitch down.

00:53:46.000 Oh, okay.

00:53:48.000 Now let's do it with Chappelle.

00:53:48.000 Can we kick out the teaser?

00:53:50.000 All right.

00:53:51.000 I did like what Chappelle did to it, but he definitely, it's...

00:53:56.000 Sure.

00:54:00.000 I think it's just one big with the longest shirt in the world.

00:54:03.000 Isn't that the worst?

00:54:05.000 It's a sexy woman's t-shirt dress.

00:54:08.000 Like, I want that on a poker-tudinous Puerto Rican.

00:54:12.000 Yeah, that would be fun.

00:54:13.000 I want to see her tits and her fucking ass sticking out in that.

00:54:16.000 Yeah, and no pants.

00:54:17.000 Of course not.

00:54:17.000 Like, those pants are out there.

00:54:18.000 And knee-high boots.

00:54:20.000 He's wearing a sexy Hispanic woman's shirt.

00:54:23.000 I'm going out for a night on the town, man.

00:54:25.000 Me and my friend Dave.

00:54:28.000 But it's one big movement.

00:54:30.000 It's not.

00:54:32.000 All those letters are their own movement.

00:54:35.000 They just travel in the same car together.

00:54:39.000 So the G's are just driving the car.

00:54:43.000 Of course, next to the G's in the passenger seat is the L's.

00:54:49.000 Everybody likes the L's, except for the Gs kind of different.

00:54:57.000 Yeah, I don't know what that's.

00:54:59.000 The G's don't like them that much.

00:55:02.000 The only thing that breaks the tension between the L's and the G's are the B's in the back seat.

00:55:07.000 If it's one thing that the L's and the G's agree on, it's that the B's are fucking gross.

00:55:17.000 They seem greedy to the L's and the G's.

00:55:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:55:20.000 Because they're just sitting in the back seat like, yeah, man, I'll fuck anybody in this car.

00:55:24.000 That's the exact same joke.

00:55:25.000 Yeah, that's verbatim.

00:55:28.000 And then he's cracking up the Owen Benjamin's joke.

00:55:34.000 And sitting next to the B's, all the way in the back seat by themselves, looking out the window.

00:55:42.000 That's the Ts.

00:55:46.000 Everybody in the car respects the T's, but everyone also resents the T's.

00:55:53.000 It's not the T's fault, but everyone in the car just feels like the T's are making the trip take longer.

00:56:04.000 Because you're wearing the same color shirt.

00:56:06.000 Yeah, imagine, you know, I kind of actually have like no problem with that.

00:56:10.000 You know, because it's just like, you know, it's like Louis Vuitton is there, it's the original, then you get like a Chinese knockoff, if that's the case, if he intentionally did it.

00:56:21.000 But it's like, you know.

00:56:22.000 We like when that happens, when you're like, I think Amy saw this joke and you compare them.

00:56:26.000 We all like that stuff.

00:56:27.000 So it's like, you know, whatever.

00:56:28.000 But whether...

00:56:31.000 I guess the point is, is he getting...

00:56:38.000 You have an ancient Chinese response to what I said?

00:56:41.000 Yeah, Owen Benjamin is a hardworking comedian who has been ostracized for being too edgy, including that very joke.

00:56:50.000 His career is hanging by a thread for no fault of his own.

00:56:55.000 Dave Chappelle is a gazillionaire who doesn't need to steal jokes.

00:57:01.000 He steals this ostracized comedian's joke and makes more money off it.

00:57:06.000 That's stealing.

00:57:07.000 Do you think it would be a good idea?

00:57:08.000 How can you be okay with stealing jokes?

00:57:09.000 Of course I think it's intentional.

00:57:11.000 You think that's a coincidence?

00:57:15.000 I don't know.

00:57:16.000 How many comics are watching other comics things?

00:57:19.000 Robin Williams, people at the comedy store used to be when Robin Williams showed up.

00:57:25.000 Yeah.

00:57:25.000 But that's why you know about it.

00:57:26.000 That's why you know about Mencia doing it.

00:57:27.000 I mean, it's...

00:57:29.000 I don't think he intentionally did it, but it is very...

00:57:33.000 The B's?

00:57:34.000 You know what my L's and the G's?

00:57:36.000 They're all in the car together.

00:57:37.000 You're going to say that Chappelle stole this joke?

00:57:37.000 What next?

00:57:40.000 So, dude, I'm just drinking a couple of claws.

00:57:42.000 Wait, I was supposed to do a Dave Chappelle.

00:57:44.000 Man, I'm drinking some claws with my bears.

00:57:47.000 You just ruined the joke.

00:57:48.000 But what was it?

00:57:49.000 What was yours?

00:57:50.000 No, no.

00:57:51.000 Your joke was going to be, next thing you know, you're going to say Chappelle stole this.

00:57:54.000 And then you do a typical Owen rant.

00:57:57.000 But people fucked it up.

00:57:58.000 The small hats, man.

00:57:59.000 They're just sneaky.

00:58:01.000 I don't like them.

00:58:03.000 My bears.

00:58:05.000 I never seen a Jewish janitor in my life.

00:58:08.000 Man, I always play piano.

00:58:10.000 What are you talking about?

00:58:11.000 I'm going farming, man.

00:58:13.000 I got goats.

00:58:14.000 All right, we got to go soon.

00:58:15.000 But I want to get some more clown world out.

00:58:20.000 This was funny.

00:58:21.000 This woman said that we should stop wearing red baseball hats because they make her feel unsafe.

00:58:28.000 I had a guy in my little suburban town in Westchester.

00:58:32.000 His friend came up to me and I said, he was saying, yeah, I know who you are, blah, blah, blah.

00:58:37.000 And he goes, Look, my friend over there is Jewish and he feels unsafe.

00:58:41.000 And I go, That's pathetic.

00:58:43.000 Meaning, first of all, that I'm not an anti-Semite.

00:58:46.000 But secondly, if I was, what, you're unsafe?

00:58:49.000 What am I going to do?

00:58:50.000 Stab you?

00:58:51.000 Am I going to smash your windows and say Kristallnacht?

00:58:54.000 Like, I live in New York.

00:58:56.000 I go to New York City every day.

00:58:58.000 I'm surrounded with people who have my opposite views.

00:59:01.000 1% of Manhattanites voted for Trump.

00:59:05.000 I'm unsafe.

00:59:06.000 Right.

00:59:07.000 And I don't feel unsafe.

00:59:09.000 I feel unsafe.

00:59:10.000 And I also did a photo shoot.

00:59:12.000 The LA magazine, whatever it is, LA Weekly, LA Magazine, is doing a, it's the guy from Radar, Iranian Jewish guy who left when the Muslims took over, but still doesn't see how Islam is a problem.

00:59:28.000 He set up, and it's with that chick, Julia Greenberg, whatever, who does the pictures, really high-res pictures of the crying babies, which you couldn't have heard of because you don't know about anything.

00:59:39.000 No.

00:59:41.000 Julia Greenberg's crying babies.

00:59:44.000 Anyway, cool chick.

00:59:47.000 Yeah, that's her.

00:59:48.000 Just show the page.

00:59:49.000 Have you ever seen that picture before?

00:59:51.000 Yes.

00:59:52.000 Okay.

00:59:53.000 You've almost heard of something.

00:59:53.000 Phew.

00:59:56.000 It's a Pampers commercial.

00:59:58.000 Just kidding.

01:00:00.000 Anyway, you spelt her name wrong.

01:00:03.000 So I'm talking to her, and we're setting up the shoot, and I have my yellow plaid suit on, and blah, blah, blah.

01:00:08.000 I'll just go ah.

01:00:10.000 And she wanted me to do a crying shot.

01:00:12.000 No.

01:00:13.000 She did the infamous Glenn Beck crying shot.

01:00:15.000 And I don't think that was good for us, Glenn.

01:00:18.000 He wasn't literally crying.

01:00:19.000 They put menthol under your eyes, as they do in movies.

01:00:22.000 But the left used that as fodder.

01:00:26.000 That's how stupid and useless they are.

01:00:28.000 They thought Glenn Beck was a crybaby, and he just coincidentally happened to be in a beautiful art studio while he bawled his eyes out.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, that's the picture.

01:00:37.000 I mean, he's cool and he's funny.

01:00:39.000 He's making fun of himself.

01:00:41.000 But I'm not doing that.

01:00:44.000 I don't want this to be on Antifa t-shirts.

01:00:47.000 How could people think that's really crying?

01:00:48.000 Like, people actually clap.

01:00:49.000 No, but they don't think, right?

01:00:51.000 So they just put it on posters and they're like, ah.

01:00:53.000 Ah, I see.

01:00:54.000 Cry, baby, Glenn Beck.

01:00:56.000 Anyway, so we're talking, and on the hallway up, one of the service guys, like, oh, Gavin McInnis, wow, I love your stuff.

01:01:05.000 Like, one of the maintenance guys who work on the elevator.

01:01:05.000 Can I get a picture?

01:01:08.000 And we get there and we're talking, and she goes, well, I can't remember.

01:01:12.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:13.000 I was talking about, she was born in Montreal, and I'm talking about Montreal.

01:01:15.000 And I go, that's the fucking separatists, the FLQ.

01:01:17.000 They started literally bombing the place in 1970, and all the English left, and all the Jews left, and all the business left with them.

01:01:25.000 And Montreal has been destitute ever since.

01:01:28.000 And she goes, well, I think that's what they wanted, right?

01:01:30.000 And I go, yeah, well, they hate immigrants more than Jews, but there's definitely some anti-Semitism there.

01:01:34.000 And she goes, well, I'm Jewish.

01:01:35.000 I don't know if you know that.

01:01:36.000 And I'm so cool that I hadn't even thought of that when I read the word Greenberg.

01:01:40.000 I don't think like that.

01:01:41.000 I'm from Montreal, upstate New York, and New York City.

01:01:44.000 I've never, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

01:01:46.000 Not only have I only always been around Jews, I've always been around Hasidic Jews.

01:01:50.000 So it's not a thing.

01:01:52.000 And she said, I'm Jewish because she has blue eyes and blonde hair.

01:01:57.000 So it's surprising, I guess.

01:01:58.000 And she goes, do you have a problem with that?

01:01:59.000 Is that an issue?

01:02:00.000 Oh, really?

01:02:01.000 That's amazing.

01:02:03.000 It really is amazing.

01:02:03.000 They really think that.

01:02:05.000 And it's amazing because then I sort of went back and went, wait a minute, your maintenance guy's a fan of me.

01:02:10.000 If I'm David Duke, that means the guy who fixes your elevator hates Jews.

01:02:14.000 And what, he's going to loosen up the fucking...

01:02:23.000 I'd love to come by and just have tea and say hello and let you know we're not all like that.

01:02:27.000 My wife goes, oh, great.

01:02:28.000 Yeah, that'd be wonderful.

01:02:29.000 Come on over.

01:02:30.000 And then she goes, but I am Jewish.

01:02:33.000 Like my wife's going to go, you better be fucking kidding me.

01:02:37.000 You getting all that Jewish shit in my ear.

01:02:41.000 This is what you should design at the bar too, Billy.

01:02:42.000 But my friend's Jewish.

01:02:43.000 You'd be like, where?

01:02:45.000 Where's he at?

01:02:45.000 Where is he?

01:02:46.000 Lick your chops.

01:02:49.000 I wish this bar didn't have a fucking fire escape.

01:02:53.000 Because that little rat's got it outside.

01:02:57.000 You're lucky we got a fire escape here, boy.

01:03:01.000 You ain't getting out this door, I'll tell you that much.

01:03:06.000 How did Quentin Tarantino get away with writing Hans Landa's dialogue in that movie?

01:03:13.000 That movie is anti-Nazi porn.

01:03:15.000 Anyway, another dumb thing you've said today.

01:03:19.000 But I said to her, what are you talking about?

01:03:22.000 Of course I don't have a problem with that.

01:03:23.000 And have you ever, what are you, like 52?

01:03:26.000 Have you ever come across an anti-Semite in your life?

01:03:30.000 And she goes, well, not to my face.

01:03:34.000 And I go, I haven't come across one.

01:03:37.000 Not really.

01:03:38.000 I mean, I've seen some bleather on fucking 4chan, and I've seen stupid kids trying to get revenge on their boss by putting rude words on a door.

01:03:48.000 But I've never come across a guy with a plan to deny the Holocaust.

01:03:53.000 You don't see that.

01:03:55.000 And she goes, well, not in media.

01:03:58.000 Okay, well, we're both in media.

01:04:00.000 So why would you think that I could run a magazine for 15 years and work at Rebel and do all this shit and be like, what the fucking goddamn J's?

01:04:12.000 Like, it can't be sincere.

01:04:15.000 She can't think that an anti-Semite is walking up her stairs and her elevator repairman goes, hey, David Duke, what's up?

01:04:22.000 Maybe you're supposed to laugh.

01:04:24.000 Maybe it was a joke.

01:04:25.000 Oh, shit, that's embarrassing.

01:04:26.000 You think it was a joke, maybe?

01:04:29.000 This is the cool guy best friend thing all over again.

01:04:31.000 Yeah.

01:04:32.000 She was like, he didn't even laugh.

01:04:33.000 He just defended himself.

01:04:34.000 What a loser.

01:04:35.000 I thought he was funny.

01:04:36.000 Whoops.

01:04:38.000 Now, what do you think about that?

01:04:40.000 Am I wrong?

01:04:41.000 She didn't say anything else funny the entire day.

01:04:42.000 Oh, not even 1%.

01:04:44.000 Now you got the right idea.

01:04:45.000 No, she probably meant it.

01:04:46.000 If she was being funny, though, that's amazing.

01:04:49.000 But there's this new Jewish thing with not actual Orthodox Jews who go to synagogue and temple and are practicing and read the Torah, but secular Jews who have basically abandoned it where they go, I'm basically Black.

01:05:00.000 Do you hate me?

01:05:01.000 You probably hate me, right?

01:05:03.000 You probably want to put me in an oven, right?

01:05:06.000 I'm putting brackets around my name to say, I don't care that you want to kill me.

01:05:10.000 You go, no, I don't.

01:05:11.000 I'm sorry.

01:05:12.000 I don't care.

01:05:14.000 It's like the whole trans thing.

01:05:15.000 You don't want us to exist.

01:05:17.000 I don't really think about you.

01:05:19.000 Or fat people.

01:05:21.000 You don't think we have the right to exist.

01:05:22.000 No, no, no.

01:05:23.000 You don't think you have the right to exist.

01:05:25.000 You're killing yourself right now.

01:05:27.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:05:28.000 Bye.

01:05:31.000 It bothers them when they don't get the reaction they didn't want.

01:05:35.000 Just like gay, it's like when there's a gay guy, it's like, listen, I don't like gay guys, but I'm pretty good looking, right?

01:05:40.000 And they're like, no, you're like, really?

01:05:42.000 And you're upset that a gay doesn't like you.

01:05:45.000 Yeah.

01:05:46.000 Well, it's sort of like black and white couples, like with the black guy and a white girl, and they're walking down the street, and he's just like, I'm doing okay.

01:05:46.000 Yeah.

01:05:52.000 And she sort of looks at you like, well, I suppose this is making your blood boil, huh?

01:05:57.000 Oh, you're sucking the dick of a man you're in love with.

01:06:00.000 What a brave revolutionary you are.

01:06:03.000 You need a statue right over there.

01:06:05.000 You're a real mentor.

01:06:08.000 How brave.

01:06:09.000 I make out with my boyfriend.

01:06:11.000 What do you think of that?

01:06:12.000 I don't give a shit.

01:06:14.000 Nobody does.

01:06:15.000 Except maybe black woman.

01:06:18.000 All right.

01:06:19.000 Yeah, seriously.

01:06:21.000 So yeah, so this is the red hat thing I alluded to 10 years ago.

01:06:25.000 Is anyone else made really uncomfortable these days by anyone wearing any kind of red baseball cap?

01:06:30.000 Like, who writes the word like, Jesus Christ, your annoying voice is now transcribed?

01:06:38.000 Like, I see one and my heart does weird shit, and then I finally realize it only says titliest or whatever.

01:06:46.000 Titlist.

01:06:46.000 Titlist, yeah.

01:06:47.000 Maybe you don't wear red caps anymore, normal people?

01:06:51.000 What?

01:06:52.000 Okay, sorry.

01:06:52.000 Red is out.

01:06:54.000 Also, for the love of God, the clever folks wearing Make America Read Again or whatever caps, no.

01:07:00.000 You're making everyone scared.

01:07:02.000 Don't do it.

01:07:03.000 Okay, mom.

01:07:03.000 And who is Rebecca Mackay?

01:07:05.000 Oh, she's a Nobel literary nominee.

01:07:10.000 All these New York Times bestseller.

01:07:13.000 Holy shit.

01:07:14.000 She's got bazooms.

01:07:15.000 She's got bazooms.

01:07:16.000 Is she Jewish?

01:07:17.000 Bazooms confirmed.

01:07:18.000 What is it with Jewish girls in fantastic tits?

01:07:21.000 I don't know, man.

01:07:22.000 Wow.

01:07:25.000 It's true, though.

01:07:26.000 And this is how you become, you want to become, those are fantabulous.

01:07:31.000 Wow.

01:07:31.000 She just became a lot less annoying.

01:07:33.000 Two times less annoying than before.

01:07:36.000 Which hat can I wear?

01:07:38.000 That's gone.

01:07:43.000 Go, Hillary.

01:07:45.000 Sweating.

01:07:47.000 So she's got a book called The Great Believers.

01:07:50.000 I'd just like to read you some of the In 1985, Yale Tishman, the development director for Chicago Art Gallery, is about to pull off a coup, bringing an extraordinary collection of 1920s paintings.

01:08:06.000 Yet, as his career begins to flourish, the carnage of the AIDS epidemic grows around him.

01:08:13.000 One by one, his friends are dying.

01:08:15.000 And after his friend Nico's funeral, the virus circles closer and closer to Yale himself.

01:08:21.000 Soon, the only person he has left is Fiona Nico's little sister.

01:08:25.000 Oh!

01:08:27.000 APPLAUSE APPLAUSE *applaudissements* Bravo!

01:08:35.000 Bravo!

01:08:41.000 So brave.

01:08:42.000 Removing my red hat.

01:08:43.000 Wow.

01:08:44.000 Screw D-Day.

01:08:45.000 This is the new Normandy.

01:08:46.000 That book is braver than every man who died in World War II times two.

01:08:52.000 Normandy, McDonald.

01:08:53.000 There's another...

01:08:57.000 Here's the other one, though.

01:08:58.000 The shirt.

01:08:59.000 Did I include that?

01:09:00.000 This woman at Trader Joe's?

01:09:04.000 It's not looking good.

01:09:06.000 No, I'm just not seeing that.

01:09:07.000 You may have to research this yourself.

01:09:09.000 You're going to have to look this up.

01:09:10.000 Oh, no, it's there.

01:09:11.000 Is it?

01:09:12.000 Yeah, it's in the same link.

01:09:13.000 At the bottom of red baseball caps.

01:09:15.000 It just says quietly Trump 2020 shirt in Trader Joe's.

01:09:19.000 Oh, that same pic?

01:09:21.000 The same paragraph.

01:09:23.000 It's not a pic.

01:09:24.000 So we're going to have to click on the link.

01:09:24.000 It's a link.

01:09:26.000 Gotcha, gotcha.

01:09:26.000 I have them all up here.

01:09:28.000 And we're going to have to fuck him.

01:09:32.000 God, I got some yellow chompers.

01:09:36.000 One funny thing that that photographer said is I go, do you smile in photos?

01:09:41.000 Because I don't know.

01:09:43.000 You're so, like, photography is your life and going, must seem pretty phony to you.

01:09:48.000 And she goes, I don't do it because I'm getting older and the lines, it's not very flattering for me to go like that.

01:09:54.000 But it's a catchphrase too because I have nice teeth.

01:09:56.000 So maybe, and then we both were going, maybe something like kind of like a, you could do that.

01:10:03.000 That was funny.

01:10:04.000 That is funny.

01:10:05.000 Do you want to read this?

01:10:05.000 All right.

01:10:07.000 This right?

01:10:08.000 Yeah.

01:10:09.000 Yeah.

01:10:09.000 This past Tuesday at a Trader Joe's in Tucson, a male shopper came in wearing a Trump 2020 t-shirt.

01:10:15.000 My husband and I immediately felt threatened and observed the entire mood of the store shift as well.

01:10:20.000 We quickly and cautiously finished our shopping and moved to the checkout stands.

01:10:23.000 Before we left, my husband...

01:10:26.000 Before we left, my husband asked our checker, Caucasian woman, to convey to management the anxiety that we had just experienced at suddenly finding ourselves in a confined space with a man.

01:10:38.000 I've got a very good imagination.

01:10:40.000 Yes.

01:10:42.000 It's actually a curse.

01:10:43.000 Sometimes I'll be reading about some horrible catastrophe, something in World War II, for example, Normandy.

01:10:50.000 Normandy.

01:10:51.000 I basically had a panic attack at saving Private Ryan.

01:10:54.000 I think I'm very good at empathy when it comes to the West, solely.

01:11:00.000 I can imagine gays.

01:11:02.000 I can imagine murderers.

01:11:04.000 I can imagine a lot of different weird shit.

01:11:07.000 I see their point a lot of the time.

01:11:09.000 Not pedophiles, but I see a lot of weirdos' points.

01:11:13.000 I cannot fathom seeing a t-shirt of the president of the United States of America and saying that we need to talk to the manager.

01:11:28.000 hmm What?

01:11:38.000 What?

01:11:40.000 Would you even do that to a Putin shirt?

01:11:42.000 Or like a Kim Jong-un shirt?

01:11:44.000 I would do it to a shirt where a kid was getting fucked.

01:11:48.000 Right.

01:11:49.000 Or like a head being cut off.

01:11:52.000 Nope.

01:11:52.000 If it was like a death metal shirt and it was a drawing, or even a very vivid picture of a beheading, I might, maybe.

01:12:01.000 But even then I would go to the guy.

01:12:02.000 And I go, dude.

01:12:04.000 Ah, dude.

01:12:04.000 Dude.

01:12:05.000 It's like a guy with a shirt here.

01:12:07.000 It's like a literally death.

01:12:08.000 It's a snuff shirt.

01:12:09.000 Dude, we got kids in here.

01:12:11.000 It's a tea snuff.

01:12:12.000 You're wearing a tea snuff.

01:12:14.000 Dude, a snuff's a snuff, dude.

01:12:16.000 Take it out of here.

01:12:17.000 But I'll tell you what, if it wasn't a thing with kids and it was like a bar or, you know, a metal show or something, I wouldn't say anything about that.

01:12:25.000 So just children getting raped, I think.

01:12:27.000 And even then, I would confront the guy.

01:12:29.000 Trump 2020, the majority of the population is going to be voting for Trump.

01:12:34.000 He's going to win.

01:12:36.000 So you're basically saying something about that you are triggered by something that 180 million people are totally cool with.

01:12:46.000 I think it's kind of hard to find something that 180 million people are pretty cool with.

01:12:52.000 Hamburgers?

01:12:54.000 You're triggered by a hamburger.

01:12:56.000 Yeah, but you like it with the onion rings in there.

01:12:58.000 No, I don't.

01:12:59.000 Actually, I'm willing to try.

01:13:00.000 Then there's sub culture within agreeing with hamburgers.

01:13:04.000 Sounds too filling if you were to add onion rings.

01:13:07.000 Tell that to our buddy Alex.

01:13:09.000 Remember?

01:13:10.000 I had a whole thing with that?

01:13:12.000 Oh, you don't know?

01:13:12.000 Who's Alex?

01:13:13.000 With the show Get Inside with Alex?

01:13:18.000 Are you plugging one of your stupid podcasts?

01:13:18.000 Remember?

01:13:21.000 It's a guy.

01:13:22.000 It's me and Paul's mutual friend.

01:13:24.000 He was a proud boy.

01:13:25.000 And he had a show.

01:13:28.000 And then he vanished from the face of the earth after because he was so ashamed of it.

01:13:33.000 I also ribbed him.

01:13:34.000 He got really personally attacked by me calling out the fact that, all right, dude, we get it.

01:13:40.000 The place that you work at, you put onion rings in your burger buns.

01:13:44.000 You're saying an inside joke with yourself that you and maybe two people on earth know.

01:13:48.000 No, everybody knows.

01:13:49.000 It's what made him disappear from this world.

01:13:51.000 And I'm sorry, and I didn't think it was going to happen.

01:13:53.000 It's just onion ring talk.

01:13:55.000 Okay, Ryan, if you made someone leave all their friends and move from New York and quit their job and completely vanish witness protection because you made fun of them for having onion rings in a burger, that's hilarious.

01:14:08.000 You need to relay that to the crowd, to the viewers.

01:14:12.000 And then in the future, that would have been funny if you said, well, at least you don't put onions in your burgers.

01:14:16.000 Ha ha ha.

01:14:17.000 Callback.

01:14:18.000 But you're telling a remarkably esoteric story that nobody knows and then making it as a joke on a show.

01:14:26.000 Well, everybody knows the truth now.

01:14:28.000 Yeah.

01:14:29.000 Now we could all do it.

01:14:30.000 Looking forward to that callback next time.

01:14:32.000 Sorry, folks, for your time machine callback joke that you now have to go into the future to hear.

01:14:38.000 What are you doing?

01:14:39.000 Why are you going through your Instagram?

01:14:42.000 because you have a picture of it.

01:14:45.000 I started trolling with the...

01:14:47.000 Anyway, back to work.

01:14:54.000 Just mailbag?

01:14:56.000 No?

01:14:56.000 You have to finish the letter.

01:14:57.000 It's not done.

01:14:58.000 It gets worse.

01:15:00.000 Okay.

01:15:00.000 Oh, crap.

01:15:04.000 Okay, so we were not prepared for our checker's response.

01:15:10.000 We were not prepared for a checker's response.

01:15:12.000 Thanking us both profusely.

01:15:13.000 She grabbed my husband's hand like a lifeline.

01:15:15.000 Two fingers flying to check her own neck pulse.

01:15:19.000 The Trump shopper had just been through her line and her heart was racing with fear.

01:15:23.000 She grabbed his hand as a lifeline.

01:15:23.000 Wait a minute.

01:15:26.000 Oh, she grabbed his hand and then put his hand on her neck to check her pulse.

01:15:31.000 Like, am I alive?

01:15:32.000 Could you be more of a drama queen, please?

01:15:36.000 T-shirt finger grabs someone's hand and then put the fingers on.

01:15:41.000 That girl has to be a gay man.

01:15:43.000 It has to be a drag queen.

01:15:45.000 Feel my heart.

01:15:46.000 Yes.

01:15:47.000 I'm coming for you, Weezy.

01:15:51.000 Yeah, they lift him up like James Brown.

01:15:54.000 He gets back to his.

01:15:55.000 They drag her out of the grocery store and then she comes back.

01:15:59.000 Living in Trump's America.

01:16:01.000 Ha!

01:16:05.000 And they were still racing with fear.

01:16:07.000 She actually needed us to help her calm down.

01:16:09.000 I wanted to run after this man and run after this man and ask if he knew what he had done to this hapless woman, what he had done to us.

01:16:17.000 But of course, he knew.

01:16:18.000 That was the point.

01:16:19.000 Yeah, that's why he did it.

01:16:21.000 To hurt you all.

01:16:23.000 But he's also got plenty of dark-minded company, and that's the most terrifying, awful thing about it.

01:16:29.000 Terrifyingly awful.

01:16:30.000 Terrifyingly awful.

01:16:31.000 Oh, I would love to see a picture of her.

01:16:33.000 I saw it.

01:16:34.000 It's been going around as a meme, and there's a picture there of a woman in a pussy hat.

01:16:36.000 I'm not putting it up because I don't know if that's her.

01:16:38.000 Gotcha.

01:16:39.000 But God, I would love to know if it's her.

01:16:40.000 All right.

01:16:41.000 Let's chew the mailbag and get out of here.

01:16:43.000 Okay.

01:16:44.000 But we also got a viral video at the end.

01:16:45.000 True that.

01:16:47.000 This is a long-ass show.

01:16:49.000 Ryan, shut up.

01:16:49.000 It's long.

01:16:51.000 You don't have a dad.

01:16:54.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:17:00.000 Let me touch it.

01:17:01.000 I don't like how wrinkly my eyes are in that.

01:17:04.000 Can you do something in post?

01:17:06.000 I could.

01:17:08.000 Yeah, they do got some rinks.

01:17:10.000 Have you seen that picture of Lawrence O'Donnell going around where he's been criticized for pushing the Russian Trump conspiracy?

01:17:18.000 And they always make, you know, Steve Bannon and Glenn Beck and me look more sinister.

01:17:24.000 And I think the right is starting to go, all right, you know what?

01:17:26.000 We're doing that now.

01:17:27.000 And it's this close-up where he's wearing his glasses.

01:17:30.000 I don't see it there.

01:17:31.000 I know what you're talking about.

01:17:33.000 He looks like a dead human.

01:17:34.000 Wait, go up a bit, maybe?

01:17:35.000 It's this one, right?

01:17:36.000 That's it.

01:17:36.000 Wow.

01:17:37.000 No, I don't even think that's it.

01:17:38.000 It looks like dead Colin Fur.

01:17:39.000 There's another one.

01:17:40.000 There's a few of those around.

01:17:43.000 He looks like one of those weird fish that live at the bottom of the ocean where there's no light.

01:17:50.000 Why is he so pale?

01:17:52.000 Why is he in the bottom of the ocean?

01:17:54.000 There's no bacon there.

01:17:57.000 There's no hot pockets.

01:17:59.000 My Jim Gaffigan sucks too.

01:18:03.000 Throw a hot pocket in the toilet bowl.

01:18:06.000 Okay.

01:18:08.000 He looks like crap in a lot of these.

01:18:10.000 I met him.

01:18:11.000 I know what you're talking about.

01:18:12.000 I was having dinner with Ann Coulter at Keene's Steakhouse, and he was there.

01:18:15.000 And Ann said, You got to get.

01:18:16.000 Nice.

01:18:16.000 Oh, there it is.

01:18:17.000 There it is.

01:18:18.000 That looks terrifying.

01:18:19.000 Zoom in.

01:18:19.000 Okay.

01:18:20.000 Let's get a real eye full.

01:18:20.000 Click on it.

01:18:22.000 Makes me feel like a gorgeous hunk.

01:18:22.000 Yeah.

01:18:25.000 Colin Firth's body found in the ocean.

01:18:28.000 Doesn't it look like a hunk?

01:18:29.000 Lizard pays over $30 million to become human man.

01:18:34.000 Still needs glasses to see.

01:18:37.000 Yeah, right.

01:18:38.000 Fails.

01:18:39.000 All the other lizards make fun of him.

01:18:41.000 Why did you give up your perfect visions?

01:18:44.000 Body snatcher fail.

01:18:49.000 Anyway, yes, she said, you should get me on your show.

01:18:51.000 And he goes, it doesn't sell, Ann.

01:18:52.000 The viewers don't want to see it.

01:18:54.000 They don't want to see two sides.

01:18:56.000 Little secret insider info about Larry.

01:18:59.000 He might be right, though.

01:19:00.000 Maybe my free speech business model is a bad idea.

01:19:02.000 Luckily, it's only 10% of the show, the site, the platform, the network.

01:19:10.000 Hey, Ryan and Gavin.

01:19:11.000 So I fought in Afghanistan with the 45th Infantry.

01:19:14.000 Got my combat infantryman's badge.

01:19:18.000 Got most of my 80% of my combat wages garnished.

01:19:22.000 I don't understand that.

01:19:23.000 Why would they take 80% of your pay?

01:19:25.000 Was addicted to meth and heroin.

01:19:27.000 Oh, that's why.

01:19:28.000 My older brother faked his deaths, and my fiancé was murdered.

01:19:32.000 After getting out of the army after 10 years, he's got a lot of repeated words here, women in the infantry, and divorced.

01:19:38.000 She had borderline personality disorder and was a nightmare.

01:19:41.000 I was rudderless and a liberal.

01:19:43.000 I was falling into the self-hatred that goes along with leftism and had legit made plans to kill myself.

01:19:49.000 Then I saw how to be a man.

01:19:51.000 And that's some film I did.

01:19:53.000 I don't know how you can find it now.

01:19:54.000 Maybe it's on Amazon.

01:19:56.000 And as gay as it sounds, you gave me a purpose.

01:19:59.000 I always pictured conservatives as George W. Bush and Mitt Romney, square, rich white men that are all about sending young men to war but don't give a shit about the 22 vets killing themselves daily.

01:20:10.000 You were the first quote-unquote cool, ooh, I just gave myself douche chills, conservative I ever ran across and changed my whole perspective on what being a conservative is.

01:20:18.000 I'm using the GI bill to go to school for filmmaking.

01:20:21.000 Terrible idea, dude.

01:20:23.000 And work part-time at a radio station now.

01:20:25.000 I hope to make conservative films that aren't garbage.

01:20:28.000 Then just make them.

01:20:29.000 Just make little videos.

01:20:31.000 Don't go to film school.

01:20:32.000 You're not going to learn anything there.

01:20:33.000 That's a total and utter waste of money.

01:20:36.000 Schools don't know more than you.

01:20:38.000 All you need, and cameras are cheap.

01:20:41.000 You could maybe take like a stupid little $600 class at a community college.

01:20:47.000 Don't go to film school.

01:20:49.000 They just watch a bunch of movies and pontificate.

01:20:54.000 You need a meme review.

01:20:55.000 You did want to see our TV?

01:20:56.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:20:59.000 Maybe you can riff off it.

01:21:00.000 Glad Ryan's back, and I love you.

01:21:02.000 New sunglasses.

01:21:03.000 Your huru.

01:21:03.000 Proud of your boys.

01:21:04.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:21:05.000 That's a nice letter.

01:21:07.000 That's from Caleb.

01:21:09.000 Dear Gavin, great show yesterday.

01:21:11.000 The rapper for video brings a chill to the spine.

01:21:14.000 He's like, yo, Pomboy looks like he wants to throw hands on me.

01:21:22.000 He's like, I'm one wild and crazy guy.

01:21:24.000 Yeah.

01:21:29.000 Totally different guy.

01:21:30.000 I said that to that Jewish photographer yesterday.

01:21:32.000 I said, I never even knew Michael Rapidbor was Jewish.

01:21:34.000 And she goes, oh, I knew he was Jewish.

01:21:37.000 There's a lot of Jews with red hair.

01:21:39.000 Oh, God.

01:21:40.000 Yeah, I know that.

01:21:41.000 He's talking a little more about his accent.

01:21:41.000 Sorry?

01:21:44.000 Right, right.

01:21:46.000 Also, love the recent Milani episodes.

01:21:46.000 Oh, man.

01:21:48.000 Our gay amigo really stepped it up after that catastrophic e with Chadwick.

01:21:53.000 The show with Luis Jess Gomez was legitimately on par with the last Chappelle special.

01:21:58.000 Whoa.

01:22:00.000 They stole from Owen Benjamin that much?

01:22:04.000 Unfortunately, however, I do have to point out Ryan's ineptitude shining through once again.

01:22:09.000 Alibaba is really not a search engine, but the Chinese equivalent to Amazon with more wholesale products.

01:22:14.000 Yeah, who gives a shit?

01:22:15.000 It's a serious competitor, blah, blah, blah.

01:22:16.000 You know what?

01:22:17.000 I'm done.

01:22:18.000 I'm done with shitting on Ryan for today.

01:22:21.000 Thanks, Gav.

01:22:22.000 He's covered in poo.

01:22:23.000 Woohoo!

01:22:24.000 Let's watch this final video.

01:22:26.000 It's from a show I really enjoy, and I really enjoy watching with my daughter.

01:22:29.000 It's a good bonding show.

01:22:30.000 That and my £650-pound life has saved my relationship with my daughter.

01:22:35.000 No, that's DJ Khaled.

01:22:37.000 This is my 90-day fiancé, and it is a Hispanic woman.

01:22:43.000 She's coming from a culture where there's still testosterone and men are still men.

01:22:48.000 And she's coming to our world where men have no nuts and it's not pretty.

01:22:54.000 Wait, stop.

01:22:57.000 What is that now?

01:22:58.000 That's crazy business.

01:23:00.000 If you told me that was a bad thing.

01:23:01.000 I'm going to throw it 8.8.

01:23:03.000 That's strong, and it's hard to meet.

01:23:06.000 I don't know.

01:23:07.000 If you zoom out a bit, you can see your feet, and even they're 8.8s.

01:23:11.000 That is fully zoomed out.

01:23:12.000 But you will see it.

01:23:14.000 Are they long little French five feet?

01:23:16.000 No, that wouldn't get you an 8.8.

01:23:18.000 Okay.

01:23:18.000 They're more like J-Lo feet.

01:23:20.000 They're just strong.

01:23:20.000 What are those?

01:23:21.000 It's probably better if you clean everything off your eyes.

01:23:25.000 Because it won't work.

01:23:27.000 I see the feet.

01:23:28.000 You see the feet.

01:23:28.000 I see the feet.

01:23:29.000 They're pretty nice.

01:23:30.000 We've made them, right?

01:23:32.000 Yeah.

01:23:32.000 So when you finish cleaning your eyes, I need you to lay on your back and put your head back.

01:23:37.000 By the way, these are for 50-year-olds.

01:23:37.000 So I can output.

01:23:40.000 It's like this collagen stuff that helps the bags in your eyes.

01:23:45.000 It's not for gorgeous young people, and it's definitely not for 8.8s.

01:23:48.000 It's definitely not for a guy to show a girl.

01:23:50.000 Well, that's a doy.

01:23:52.000 Yeah.

01:23:53.000 This is not what I expected.

01:23:54.000 I'm used to another kind of men.

01:23:56.000 My ex is also different from Tim.

01:23:58.000 Like, Latin men are always so loving and so passionate and touching and everything.

01:24:03.000 And he's not like that.

01:24:03.000 Corny changing.

01:24:05.000 It's like I have a girlfriend with me because he wants to put me like these beauty teeth and all over my face.

01:24:12.000 And it felt really strange.

01:24:14.000 I'd like to put all over her face.

01:24:15.000 What would that be?

01:24:16.000 Kisses.

01:24:17.000 Oh, that's sweet.

01:24:19.000 To see a man like that.

01:24:20.000 But kisses with my eyelashes.

01:24:22.000 He made her.

01:24:24.000 That's pretty sweet.

01:24:24.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:24:25.000 I mean, maybe the chin's a little big.

01:24:27.000 I don't know.

01:24:28.000 This might even be in the nine zone.

01:24:29.000 It's hard to think about this.

01:24:30.000 Those boobs look like they might be insanely perfect, too.

01:24:34.000 Yeah, when I see this woman and she's in my bed, my first thought is, Let's have a makeup party, let's get rid of these bags under our eyes because they're gross, right, girls?

01:24:45.000 This is her expression to that.

01:24:47.000 I'm gonna need to get looking for a green card and a pink dick.

01:24:55.000 I need to fight you away.

01:24:57.000 I need to feel endangered.

01:24:59.000 Excuse me, why are you lying to me?

01:25:02.000 Even if she spoke like Doctor Now, I'd be like, I'll just wear earplugs.

01:25:07.000 Excuse me, why are you fucking me?

01:25:09.000 I need to put my hand in my pocket and grip a switchblade to feel safe around you in order for me to like what's happening here.

01:25:16.000 I didn't get that joke.

01:25:16.000 Wait, what?

01:25:17.000 She needs to have her hand in her pocket on the switchblade handle.

01:25:21.000 Why?

01:25:22.000 Because he's going to kill her?

01:25:23.000 Just to be, you know, on edge.

01:25:27.000 The point is that she's not scared of him.

01:25:29.000 In fact, that's the problem.

01:25:30.000 That's what she needs, is I'm saying.

01:25:32.000 Oh, I see.

01:25:32.000 She wants her finger on the mace button.

01:25:34.000 I want to be perpetually in fear of you.

01:25:34.000 Oh, I see.

01:25:37.000 I need you to punch holes in the wall.

01:25:39.000 Yeah.

01:25:40.000 Gay, I don't know.

01:25:44.000 You missed it.

01:25:44.000 Wait, go back.

01:25:45.000 She goes, this is how normal women from cultures that still have testosterone, this is how they feel about our men.

01:25:52.000 This is what we're putting out there, folks.

01:25:55.000 Over my face, and it felt really strange to me to see a man like that.

01:26:00.000 He might be gay.

01:26:01.000 I don't know.

01:26:06.000 Now it's going to be cold.

01:26:07.000 So you got to trust me, okay?

01:26:10.000 He's doing that.

01:26:11.000 I like how he's macho.

01:26:12.000 Yeah, it's going to be cold.

01:26:13.000 I don't know if you can handle this kind of cold.

01:26:16.000 It's kind of badass cold.

01:26:18.000 Yeah.

01:26:19.000 But at least he'll get rid of those disgusting bags under your eyes, you old hag.

01:26:24.000 He's got a preemie body.

01:26:25.000 These masks are very odd, especially for a man.

01:26:28.000 Is that Chaz Bono's like...

01:26:28.000 happening there?

01:26:35.000 It looks like a Team America World Police puppet.

01:26:38.000 Yeah, it really does.

01:26:39.000 God, he makes me feel like the Hulk.

01:26:41.000 What's wrong with that?

01:26:42.000 Maybe I don't need HGH after all.

01:26:44.000 So I pretty much put this badass stuff on her face.

01:26:47.000 I don't know.

01:26:48.000 It's pretty unusual, but I'm doing it because I hope to get some pussy.

01:26:51.000 That's what he says, by the way.

01:26:52.000 Check it out.

01:26:52.000 Oh, really?

01:26:53.000 To wear a red shirt.

01:26:55.000 He's a Satanist?

01:26:56.000 A man's eyes should never go in that direction.

01:26:58.000 He looks like a rooster.

01:27:00.000 Yeah.

01:27:02.000 The face masks are very odd, especially for a man to wear.

01:27:05.000 I mean, I'm aware of that, but it was just a way to get physical with her.

01:27:09.000 I wasn't really expecting more from it, but you never know.

01:27:13.000 I mean, you don't know until you try.

01:27:14.000 You didn't try, dude.

01:27:16.000 You did not try.

01:27:18.000 Boom.

01:27:20.000 Yep.

01:27:21.000 There you go.

01:27:22.000 You look more like an age.

01:27:24.000 Up and down, dude.

01:27:28.000 So you wear them every day?

01:27:31.000 Yeah, I wear them just about every day.

01:27:32.000 that's the problem.

01:27:33.000 Cause I've done cutesy things with girls like, like little, uh, you know, Right, but no, he does that.

01:27:33.000 Okay.

01:27:42.000 He's never had sex with her.

01:27:43.000 Like, I've done a mask.

01:27:44.000 And isn't it his fiancé?

01:27:45.000 Isn't this show 90-day fiancé?

01:27:47.000 Oh, snap.

01:27:48.000 So he's, it's not like first date stuff.

01:27:49.000 Can you just jump her bones the first night?

01:27:51.000 And if it sucks, go, let's not waste each other's time.

01:27:53.000 That's another thing, too, is like, I think men get a lot of signals that that's not ideal.

01:27:57.000 Like, I don't want to feel like used, and they kind of do, though.

01:28:01.000 But a 90-day fiancé, doesn't that mean it's guaranteed sex?

01:28:04.000 I don't have to court you?

01:28:05.000 Right.

01:28:06.000 Like, let's just jump in here.

01:28:06.000 Right.

01:28:10.000 Yeah, and everyone who makes fun of me and tells me that I'm being like a girl, but they work.

01:28:15.000 You actually, they work.

01:28:16.000 You actually have a blue watch, too.

01:28:17.000 What are you, 30?

01:28:20.000 Yeah, but I gotta try to stay young.

01:28:22.000 He's quite...

01:28:22.000 What?

01:28:25.000 Ryan.

01:28:26.000 Yeah.

01:28:26.000 Oh, you're 30 now, too.

01:28:28.000 You better work to stay young.

01:28:28.000 That's right.

01:28:29.000 I'm trying, man.

01:28:30.000 You don't want people to say, I Yeah, exactly.

01:28:36.000 I was like.

01:28:37.000 Yeah.

01:28:38.000 And his girlfriend, too.

01:28:39.000 He should have tried the gold bags.

01:28:41.000 The GBs.

01:28:43.000 Quite feminine, definitely.

01:28:45.000 I can see that.

01:28:46.000 I don't know.

01:28:47.000 I just hope he is really strong in other ways.

01:28:51.000 Because I think that he may not have that.

01:28:54.000 Compute says no.

01:28:56.000 Sometimes that things want.

01:28:58.000 Yeah, it's not happening with you.

01:29:01.000 So I kind of want to chase it and cut over me.

01:29:04.000 You see something I see?

01:29:06.000 What?

01:29:07.000 Totally shaved arm fuck pits shit?

01:29:09.000 Oh my god.

01:29:13.000 That's just in case, you know, she wants to lick him or something.

01:29:15.000 I'm just.

01:29:16.000 What?

01:29:17.000 What happened?

01:29:18.000 her tattoo says conquistador.

01:29:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:24.000 Get closer.

01:29:27.000 He's got a slight accent.

01:29:28.000 Get closer.

01:29:29.000 Wait, so long for this.

01:29:30.000 The dog tags?

01:29:32.000 He's like 1990s by show.

01:29:34.000 He's like a crazy town man.

01:29:35.000 I think he might be Eastern European or something.

01:29:38.000 You think?

01:29:39.000 Get close to me.

01:29:41.000 Oh.

01:29:42.000 But that southern accent can be confusing, too.

01:29:42.000 Let me hear that.

01:29:44.000 No, go ahead.

01:29:45.000 We're wasting a second.

01:29:47.000 Cut over me.

01:29:49.000 Get closer.

01:29:50.000 Get closer.

01:29:53.000 I've waited so long for this.

01:29:55.000 I cannot believe we're finally with each other.

01:29:57.000 I cannot believe.

01:29:58.000 It's kind of German.

01:29:59.000 Holy shit.

01:30:00.000 I waited so long.

01:30:00.000 You know, when Europeans are doing American, they overdo the slang.

01:30:03.000 I'm like, hey, man, you want to go dancing?

01:30:06.000 A lot of IN catastrophes.

01:30:08.000 Jiggy with it.

01:30:10.000 Baby, it's been such a long day, and I'm so comfortable.

01:30:13.000 Like, why don't you just stay?

01:30:15.000 I'll behave, I promise.

01:30:17.000 Oh, don't behave.

01:30:19.000 I'm going to puke.

01:30:20.000 Hey, now I'm putting my ass.

01:30:22.000 Please turn off the lights.

01:30:25.000 Okay.

01:30:27.000 I can't.

01:30:28.000 My arm.

01:30:29.000 Your head's on my arm.

01:30:30.000 Plus, we're on TV.

01:30:32.000 Yeah.

01:30:32.000 Okay, keep going.

01:30:33.000 I haven't had sex in a long time, so I would love to have sex, but it's just not the right time.

01:30:39.000 I'm not looking for something casual.

01:30:42.000 Having an 8.8 bed that's your fiancé and is inner underwear, not the right time.

01:30:47.000 Yes, the bags would go to waste.

01:30:49.000 Maybe later.

01:30:49.000 You have to make the bags work for you.

01:30:51.000 Maybe after you guys write a consensual contract together.

01:30:54.000 Bond and eventually have sex.

01:30:58.000 It's been a long night.

01:31:01.000 Literally Pokemon.

01:31:02.000 It's very strange to me that he doesn't even try to kiss me.

01:31:06.000 Or finger.

01:31:06.000 Maybe all the drama with his ex and everything can be stopping him of doing something.

01:31:13.000 But to win my heart, he needs to show me more because he's taking himself to the friend zone.

01:31:20.000 The danger zone.

01:31:21.000 I'm surprised he didn't try to like, you know, grab my butt right now.

01:31:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:31:25.000 Out there.

01:31:26.000 You are getting into the friend zone.

01:31:28.000 You need to go for it.

01:31:29.000 We're not talking about rape, okay?

01:31:31.000 When it's clear she's not into it, then obviously you stop, doi.

01:31:35.000 But you need to try.

01:31:37.000 You need to get in there.

01:31:39.000 You need to take a risk.

01:31:42.000 Get fired.

01:31:43.000 Get in trouble.

01:31:44.000 Be brave.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 04, 2019

S02E55 - CLOWN WORLD IS FUNNY AGAIN

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript