Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E65 - TONY STARK DRESSES FUNNY

00:00:03.000 Hello Trubadila man, how's your day?

00:00:06.000 You bring it in mind.

00:00:08.000 Thought you were new with design.

00:00:10.000 A couple stops, but you were just fine.

00:00:12.000 So fix one.

00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:24.000 There's a party and my friends want to go.

00:00:27.000 Now you all know I'm never.

00:00:31.000 Wow, I'm getting stronger.

00:00:33.000 That ghetto blaster.

00:00:35.000 Sorry, boom box.

00:00:37.000 You have to use his proper pronouns.

00:00:39.000 We call it a ghetto blaster in Canada and Britain.

00:00:42.000 Like the tricky song.

00:00:44.000 So what happened to it?

00:00:46.000 It's light now.

00:00:48.000 I haven't started HGH, by the way.

00:00:50.000 That's the 17th.

00:00:52.000 But already I'm just becoming China.

00:00:57.000 I have a fucking Madonna body.

00:01:02.000 I'm basically Cher.

00:01:05.000 I haven't seen Cher's arms, but I bet she's in pretty good shape.

00:01:08.000 I bet Cher has bigger arms than me.

00:01:10.000 She has some pipes.

00:01:12.000 Cher's, welcome back to Cher's Pipes, where we look at old pictures of Cher and decide if she's hot or not.

00:01:18.000 That was Second Exit.

00:01:20.000 That song was 2016.

00:01:21.000 If you wouldn't mind, they're a London band.

00:01:24.000 Kind of rappy, but kind of spoken wordy, too.

00:01:31.000 I have to talk about the song, so I don't have to pay for them.

00:01:35.000 I want to take it light today on Monday.

00:01:38.000 There's a few things I want to cover, though, but I don't think I even sent you them in the notes, my friend.

00:01:45.000 The big story over the weekend was Trump calling for civil war.

00:01:49.000 If you impeach me, I'm going to institute a civil war.

00:01:52.000 That's how the left took it.

00:01:53.000 That's not what he said.

00:01:55.000 He quoted an evangelical Fox News contributor who said, if they impeach Trump, there will be a civil war.

00:02:05.000 And he's right.

00:02:06.000 There will be.

00:02:07.000 We're already on the brink of a civil war with all this Antifa shit.

00:02:12.000 So if they take a Democratically elected president down for nothing, you're going to see riots in the streets.

00:02:19.000 That's just a fact.

00:02:21.000 I mean, we had riots in the streets for Larry, what was his name?

00:02:24.000 Rodney King.

00:02:26.000 Larry King.

00:02:28.000 Why are you guys rioting?

00:02:31.000 That would be funny.

00:02:32.000 For Larry King?

00:02:33.000 If the police beat the shit out of Larry King.

00:02:36.000 By the way, Rodney King had led them on a super high chase through a residential neighborhood where he could have killed countless people.

00:02:45.000 And then eventually they subdue him.

00:02:47.000 The other guys with him go down, put their hands behind their back.

00:02:50.000 Rodney just starts laughing.

00:02:51.000 They zap him.

00:02:52.000 He still laughs.

00:02:54.000 Then they beat him.

00:02:55.000 You just saw the beating.

00:02:56.000 And because of the narrative that the media loves to perpetuate, there was riots in the streets.

00:03:03.000 All of L.A. was, how many deaths were there in that stupid riot?

00:03:06.000 It changed David Cho forever.

00:03:08.000 David Cho was there with the Korean grocers aiming their guns at people from the rooftops.

00:03:14.000 Total of 63 people died during the day.

00:03:16.000 Jesus Christ, you fools.

00:03:18.000 See, there's blood on your hands if you push the narrative of Rodney King being an innocent victim.

00:03:23.000 And we lost a cop today.

00:03:26.000 What's his name?

00:03:28.000 Brian Keeley or something?

00:03:30.000 In the South Bronx, some disgusting piece of shit, career criminal.

00:03:36.000 The South Bronx, by the way, gets worse every day.

00:03:39.000 It really is.

00:03:41.000 There's a murder a day in New York, and it's just in East New York and the Bronx.

00:03:46.000 They're both competing.

00:03:47.000 They're both competing to be the worst place in America next to Baltimore and south side of Chicago.

00:03:54.000 And in all of those places, they fucking hate cops.

00:03:57.000 They hate the pigs.

00:03:58.000 All cops are bastards.

00:04:00.000 And I'm told from people in the force that after this, Brian Mulkeen, is that his name?

00:04:07.000 Yeah, Brian Mulkeen.

00:04:08.000 After Brian Mulkeen was shot to death with his own gun, people were celebrating in the streets of the South Bronx.

00:04:14.000 We are officially back to David Dinkins' days.

00:04:17.000 David Dinkins hated cops.

00:04:18.000 De Blasio hates cops.

00:04:19.000 And when you hate cops, people die.

00:04:22.000 Not just cops.

00:04:24.000 In fact, rarely cops.

00:04:27.000 Mostly the residents of said neighborhoods, the residents of the south side of Chicago, the residents of Baltimore, and the residents of the South Bronx.

00:04:35.000 They're the ones suffering from all this stupid cop hatred.

00:04:38.000 And all these, like there's some cunt in my neighborhood who had a Black Lives Matter sign on her lawn.

00:04:44.000 That's perpetuating the narrative that cops are out there hunting black people.

00:04:48.000 And that man is dead now.

00:04:50.000 Now, you know, don't say too many names.

00:04:52.000 Yeah, last night I had a couple of names.

00:04:55.000 You don't want to expose the guy.

00:04:56.000 Oh, no, I'm not.

00:04:57.000 Okay.

00:04:58.000 But yeah, last night I had a couple of drinks at this cigar bar, and one of my buddies from high school was there, and he was like, yeah, my brother used to be his partner.

00:05:05.000 He just gave it away, you fucking retard, after I told you not to twice.

00:05:09.000 Now we can't get him on the show because you just gave away that it was his partner.

00:05:14.000 What do you think I meant?

00:05:15.000 Oh, no, his former partner.

00:05:17.000 Okay, but he's still a cop.

00:05:20.000 So now we can't have him on the show because you just gave away his identity.

00:05:23.000 That was a real smooth move.

00:05:25.000 What I find stunning about stuff like that is when I say twice, don't do that, don't do that.

00:05:29.000 And then you go, yeah, it was his former partner.

00:05:31.000 I'm just doing some names.

00:05:33.000 You just said a name.

00:05:34.000 That's as bad as a name.

00:05:35.000 Oh.

00:05:36.000 How can you not know that, though?

00:05:38.000 That's the fascinating part.

00:05:39.000 That's the part where I want to bring in like brain surgeons and stuff to do CAT scans.

00:05:44.000 I don't know.

00:05:45.000 How can you not know that you were exposing someone?

00:05:48.000 I guess that makes sense because then you could look into who his former partner was.

00:05:51.000 You guess, yeah, you guess.

00:05:54.000 By the way, the cops, the MIPD is desperately trying to find out the cops that we know that we hang out with.

00:05:59.000 The cops tell me they bring it up at meetings.

00:06:01.000 Oh.

00:06:02.000 McKinnis says he's friends with cops.

00:06:03.000 Who are these cops?

00:06:07.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:06:08.000 You see this?

00:06:10.000 It's very sad.

00:06:12.000 To the place I belong.

00:06:12.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:06:20.000 This is probably racist.

00:06:21.000 West Virginia.

00:06:22.000 Today's narrative.

00:06:23.000 "Bountain Mama, take me home, country road." Six years, I think, he was into his 20-year career.

00:06:39.000 I saw that black dude, sheriff, what's his name, saying, All this talk about excessive force, excessive force, this idea that you can just be Jesse James and shoot his shoelaces undone so he trips or shoot his gun out of his hand.

00:06:56.000 No, you're lucky if someone's coming at you to kill you and you shoot them in the chest.

00:07:00.000 Someone goes for your gun, pull out your gun and shoot them immediately or you will die.

00:07:06.000 Anyway, sorry, not a very fun way to start off the show.

00:07:09.000 Did you see also in the news?

00:07:13.000 Okay, two more things.

00:07:15.000 One was Everlast.

00:07:20.000 Everlast is choosing a trans fighter as the new face of Everlast.

00:07:20.000 I didn't send you this link.

00:07:25.000 And by trans, we mean a lesbian who took so many hormones that she has a weird Ryan Katsu Rivera pubic beard.

00:07:34.000 That's it.

00:07:36.000 And I looked her up on Box Rec, which, by the way, separate subject.

00:07:39.000 Box Rec is insane.

00:07:42.000 Whoa.

00:07:43.000 It has every fighter, like literally Jack Dempsey.

00:07:46.000 It has every fight from the beginning of fighting.

00:07:50.000 I don't mean cavemen, but registered fights, it has them all.

00:07:53.000 You look up anyone there, I bet there's a Gavin McInnes.

00:07:56.000 There's so many fights there, and it'll be like some Irish guy from 1937.

00:08:00.000 It's incredible.

00:08:01.000 And they have a bunch of people for this guy, but I looked up this guy.

00:08:06.000 He has one fight under his belt.

00:08:09.000 So fuck the trans stuff and all that.

00:08:11.000 This person has one fight.

00:08:13.000 This woman is going to get the living shit pounded out of her.

00:08:18.000 And I'm never buying Everlast again.

00:08:20.000 Look at this.

00:08:22.000 That's a lesbian who took a bunch of pills.

00:08:24.000 And now she represents Everlast.

00:08:27.000 Why?

00:08:29.000 I don't understand what dollar you're going for.

00:08:31.000 Do you know that trolling guy?

00:08:33.000 Just look up Boxing Troll.

00:08:35.000 He's this dude who picks fights with like Deontay Williams and stuff, like the biggest fighters in the business.

00:08:44.000 Oh, there we go.

00:08:45.000 Deontay Wilder.

00:08:46.000 Did I say Williams?

00:08:49.000 So he calls out Deontay Wilder, says, I'm going to kick your ass.

00:08:53.000 And Deontay Wilder takes him up on it because this guy has millions of followers and it's good for business.

00:08:58.000 It's good advertising.

00:09:00.000 But of course, he just gets the shit beaten out of him.

00:09:02.000 What's this guy's name again?

00:09:03.000 Charlie Zigaroff?

00:09:04.000 Zelinoff.

00:09:05.000 Zelanoff.

00:09:06.000 Charlie Zelanoff also has one pro fight.

00:09:10.000 You'll notice that Zelenoff rang out of the ring and now they're just fighting in the gym.

00:09:16.000 Oh my God, fighting Deontay Walder would hurt.

00:09:19.000 The way he gets into the ring is he steps over the top rope.

00:09:23.000 And it looks like you're walking over a bandana lying on the ground.

00:09:28.000 Oh, my God, we saw a fight.

00:09:29.000 Spence and who?

00:09:34.000 My mind's gone blank.

00:09:35.000 I don't know.

00:09:35.000 He said he was Porter.

00:09:37.000 Spence and Porter this weekend.

00:09:41.000 I didn't give you any of the stuff I want to talk about.

00:09:43.000 I didn't give you in the notes.

00:09:44.000 Hashtag Spence Porter.

00:09:46.000 There was a fight before it, a Hispanic dude and a guy from Detroit.

00:09:50.000 And they just kept hammering this poor bastard from Detroit.

00:09:54.000 He had a vagina on his eye.

00:09:57.000 And I was with my coach, and I was saying to him, he has a pussy in his eye.

00:10:02.000 And then I said, I want to fuck it.

00:10:06.000 And then I go, is that gay to want to fuck a pussy if it's on a dude's face?

00:10:11.000 And he goes, yeah, definitely.

00:10:13.000 And then he goes over to these other two boxers that are on the other side of me and he goes, hey, Gavin wants to fuck a dude in his eye.

00:10:19.000 Is that gay?

00:10:21.000 It's gay if you fuck a guy's eye hole, right?

00:10:23.000 I was like, that's not exactly what I said.

00:10:26.000 And I kept, so he keeps getting nailed, this poor bastard.

00:10:31.000 Wait, you're looking at Errol Spence, dude.

00:10:32.000 I'm talking about before the fight.

00:10:34.000 So scroll down.

00:10:37.000 And is that it?

00:10:39.000 He's got a big, long Hispanic name.

00:10:42.000 No.

00:10:44.000 And he had a vagina in his eye, and they wouldn't stop the fight.

00:10:47.000 The ref didn't stop the fight.

00:10:49.000 The coach didn't stop the fight.

00:10:50.000 Eventually, the boxing commissioner comes out and says, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:10:55.000 This is bad for our brand.

00:10:57.000 This is bad for the sport in general.

00:11:00.000 And so they stopped the fight eventually.

00:11:02.000 And the guys I was with said, it's Detroit.

00:11:04.000 People don't give a shit about people in Detroit.

00:11:06.000 So they just let their boxers almost die.

00:11:09.000 It was so gruesome.

00:11:10.000 You better find it.

00:11:11.000 It was so gruesome that it looked like a horror movie when they were putting the cauterizing thing on the Q-tip.

00:11:18.000 You know, that stuff that seals up the wounds or stops it from bleeding?

00:11:21.000 It was like being in a surgeon's office.

00:11:24.000 It was disgusting.

00:11:26.000 And you can see the Q-tip go deep into the facial vagina and try to, but it wasn't stealing.

00:11:31.000 It wasn't sealing up.

00:11:32.000 So his eye was just hanging down like this with a hole honestly this big, this big on his face.

00:11:39.000 And I'm dragging out this explanation so you can find it.

00:11:43.000 Just go vagina face.

00:11:45.000 You want me to type vagina face?

00:11:46.000 No, I think you got it.

00:11:47.000 I think you just found it.

00:11:48.000 Is that him?

00:11:50.000 No, that's not him.

00:11:52.000 It was the undercard for the Spence Porter fight.

00:11:55.000 Oh, it was the undercard.

00:11:56.000 Ew.

00:11:56.000 Undercard.

00:11:57.000 Yeah, what do you think I was saying?

00:11:59.000 I said it's a Spence Porter fight, but not Spence Porter.

00:12:02.000 Oh my God, you're driving me insane right now.

00:12:04.000 You're looking up Conor McGregor.

00:12:06.000 Just go hashtag Spence Porter.

00:12:08.000 Okay, you know what?

00:12:09.000 I did.

00:12:09.000 If I have to find this and I find it before you, you're making yourself dramatically less valuable.

00:12:20.000 And then, when it comes time for a raise, Darrell Benitavez?

00:12:25.000 Yes.

00:12:27.000 Boy, you really got to put a fire under your ass.

00:12:29.000 No, I don't think it is.

00:12:30.000 You got punched a lot of times.

00:12:35.000 This is great TV, isn't it?

00:12:39.000 The Porter Spence fight wasn't that good.

00:12:42.000 It was one of those decision things.

00:12:45.000 Yeah, those do suck.

00:12:46.000 So the undercard was kind of...

00:12:51.000 Say one guy lands 100 punches, but they're all little baby punches, and the other guy lands five knock you to your knees Punches.

00:13:01.000 Who wins?

00:13:03.000 I'm actually stealing this conundrum from boxers superior to me, which is 100% of them.

00:13:09.000 And the answer to the question is: who would you rather be?

00:13:14.000 So if you'd rather be the guy that took 100 little punches than the four Rockham Sockhams, then you have to go with the Rockham Sockham guy.

00:13:21.000 Oh, I found it.

00:13:22.000 And you suck.

00:13:23.000 Durrell.

00:13:25.000 Doctor looks at cut on Durrell.

00:13:28.000 Holy crap, it's bad.

00:13:30.000 How did I find that before you, Ryan?

00:13:33.000 Well, I'm the host of a show.

00:13:35.000 You know the guy's face and what they look like.

00:13:37.000 So when you see the little thumbnails.

00:13:39.000 You want to see what I saw?

00:13:40.000 I'm emailing it to you right now with the word vagina.

00:13:43.000 I saw a black boxer with a huge vagina on his face.

00:13:48.000 I was looking for Spanish because you said Spanish.

00:13:51.000 Well, the guy beating him with Spanish.

00:13:53.000 It doesn't matter Spanish.

00:13:54.000 How many boxers did you pass with a vagina on their face?

00:13:56.000 Zero.

00:13:57.000 Okay.

00:13:58.000 Well, you're wrong because I just passed it.

00:14:00.000 And I emailed it to you.

00:14:01.000 On the Spence Porter hashtag.

00:14:04.000 Dang it.

00:14:04.000 Yes.

00:14:05.000 I've been scrolling and scrolling.

00:14:06.000 Yeah, well, you suck at your job.

00:14:09.000 Durrell, D-I-R-R-E-L-L.

00:14:12.000 That was the fight.

00:14:13.000 Now, can you handle that at least?

00:14:14.000 So go to the fucking internet.

00:14:19.000 Go Spence Porter hashtag.

00:14:21.000 Then add Durrell.

00:14:23.000 Why would I do that when you told me you just emailed it?

00:14:26.000 Because I only emailed you one.

00:14:28.000 There's a billion on Twitter.

00:14:30.000 A billion.

00:14:32.000 What are you doing now?

00:14:33.000 You should be in Twitter, fucking Google Images.

00:14:38.000 We are going to have a Senator Bud Dwyer moment one of these days on the show.

00:14:41.000 I'm too moral to kill a man, but if there's a handgun here, you're going to see my head explode.

00:14:47.000 I'm just going to go like that.

00:14:48.000 It's just going to be blood.

00:14:51.000 Like this guy?

00:14:52.000 White desk.

00:14:53.000 Yes, that is what I was looking for 800,000 years ago.

00:14:58.000 Look at that.

00:14:59.000 Stop the fight.

00:15:00.000 We were all in the bar yelling, stop the fight!

00:15:03.000 Stop the fight at the TV.

00:15:05.000 And eventually some Asian dude with like an ID badge when a suit comes on going, no, no.

00:15:12.000 That's bad.

00:15:13.000 When the people who run the actual sport have to jump up and say, stop this shit.

00:15:19.000 Now find other ones, Ryan, please.

00:15:22.000 What are you doing?

00:15:25.000 Drag, drop, search.

00:15:28.000 Darrell Spence Porter.

00:15:29.000 Finally!

00:15:32.000 He just kept getting it, and it was jabs.

00:15:37.000 Benavidez.

00:15:39.000 So you're seeing one of the only times Darrell was punching back.

00:15:44.000 Keep going.

00:15:47.000 Oh, fuck.

00:15:49.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:15:49.000 There, that might be it.

00:15:50.000 It was all jabs.

00:15:51.000 He was just killing him with jabs.

00:15:54.000 Oh, God, what a slaughter.

00:15:56.000 It wasn't fun.

00:15:56.000 Look at that.

00:15:58.000 We were watching it, just going, this is getting really dark.

00:16:02.000 I'm watching a horror movie right now.

00:16:04.000 Can you please?

00:16:05.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:16:06.000 Look at that.

00:16:06.000 Did that split it right there in that?

00:16:08.000 Yeah, I think that's the split.

00:16:10.000 Boom.

00:16:11.000 That's fucking gory, dude.

00:16:16.000 In other news, wait, have we covered all the important news?

00:16:20.000 There's the trans dude, and then there's this hashtag.

00:16:29.000 That's funny.

00:16:30.000 This hashtag Antifa domestic terrorists.

00:16:33.000 Look up that hashtag.

00:16:35.000 People are pushing it.

00:16:36.000 And it's really interesting seeing the reaction.

00:16:38.000 Not one person mentions that the Dayton Ohio shooter was Antifa.

00:16:46.000 Antifa wouldn't exist if there weren't any neo-bitch ass Nazis.

00:16:49.000 Get all the way fuck out of here.

00:16:52.000 And then a bunch of the things are saying, look at the name.

00:16:55.000 They're anti-fascist.

00:16:59.000 And it mostly stems from Hamilton, Ontario, which is a little college town outside of Toronto, where some old lady was going to see a conservative politician do a talk, and antifacunts were yelling at him.

00:17:10.000 Look at that.

00:17:11.000 We need to organize.

00:17:12.000 I thought you're anarchist.

00:17:13.000 Why do you have a communist union logo?

00:17:16.000 Yeah, that's the thing.

00:17:17.000 Click on that video.

00:17:18.000 That's what started it all.

00:17:19.000 All of us do it tonight.

00:17:25.000 Nazis off our streets.

00:17:28.000 This is kind of perfect, isn't it?

00:17:30.000 There's your Nazi, an old lady who's concerned with open borders.

00:17:35.000 Nice Nazis.

00:17:37.000 And then she's screaming, get your hands off me!

00:17:40.000 Get your hands off me!

00:17:41.000 When the woman's 80-year-old son says, can you move, please?

00:17:48.000 That's treacherous.

00:17:49.000 I saw one of the tweets said, Antifa's killed no one.

00:17:53.000 The KKK's killed thousands.

00:17:55.000 Yeah, they're both bad.

00:17:57.000 We don't like the KKK.

00:17:59.000 We don't like Antifa.

00:18:01.000 And yes, the KKK, going back to what, the 1900s, has a larger death toll.

00:18:06.000 That's true.

00:18:07.000 But the Antifa death toll is still in the dozens.

00:18:10.000 How many people died in Ohio?

00:18:12.000 Like 20?

00:18:17.000 All right, that's the important stuff I had to get out of the way.

00:18:19.000 Oh, yeah, one more thing before we get serious here.

00:18:25.000 Oh, there's Rufio.

00:18:29.000 Not all heroes wear capes.

00:18:31.000 You know what's a good song for Proud Boys?

00:18:33.000 Sometimes good guys don't wear white.

00:18:36.000 By Minor Threat?

00:18:38.000 Good guys, bad guys, which is which?

00:18:40.000 The white-collar workers are the diggers in the ditch.

00:18:43.000 Who's to say who's a better man?

00:18:48.000 Who does that?

00:18:50.000 Minor Threat.

00:18:51.000 It's a cover.

00:18:53.000 Oh, of the Standells?

00:18:55.000 Yes.

00:18:57.000 Classic.

00:19:02.000 The lyrics, though.

00:19:03.000 Put up the mirror.

00:19:04.000 I'm a poor boy, born a run.

00:19:15.000 In a rut, some say my manners ain't the best.

00:19:19.000 Some of my friends have been in a whole lot of trouble.

00:19:22.000 And some say I'm no better than the rest.

00:19:31.000 This is the perfect Cowboys anthem.

00:19:36.000 Every day I work hard.

00:19:38.000 At night, I spend a restless time.

00:19:39.000 Those rich kids and their lazy money can't hold a candle to mine.

00:19:42.000 It's amazing.

00:19:43.000 Anyway, all right, let's get serious here, folks.

00:19:46.000 Enough fucking around.

00:19:47.000 I saw the movie yesterday, last night.

00:19:49.000 It's pretty darn gay.

00:19:51.000 It's about a guy who discovered the Beatles on his own.

00:19:54.000 He hits his head, all the electricity in the world goes out, and then he's the only one who knows of the Beatles.

00:20:00.000 Actually, spoiler alert, they find two more people, one Russian and one British who's heard of the Beatles.

00:20:07.000 So he steals all their songs.

00:20:08.000 It's a premise hijacked from Hot Tub Time Machine, and there's a lot of annoying shit in it.

00:20:15.000 But what is amazing is how unbelievably bad of an actress Kate McKinnon is.

00:20:24.000 And it's also an indication that the director is terrible.

00:20:28.000 If one of your actors is hamming it up, if you will, then say, yeah, what are you doing?

00:20:41.000 Hold on, cut, cut, cut, cut.

00:20:42.000 What was that?

00:20:43.000 Oh, I don't know.

00:20:44.000 I thought I'd sort of make my mark.

00:20:47.000 No, don't do that.

00:20:48.000 You're just like a record exec.

00:20:50.000 Yeah, you're kind of ruthless and cunty and you only care about money.

00:20:53.000 But that's implied.

00:20:55.000 And we get it.

00:20:56.000 You know, you can be a human being from Earth.

00:20:59.000 This is not the Star Wars bar.

00:21:00.000 And Kate McKinnon is great on SNL.

00:21:02.000 She's hilarious.

00:21:03.000 She does really good impressions.

00:21:04.000 Kind of like Ryan, actually.

00:21:06.000 Very talented at impressions.

00:21:08.000 Very terrible at acting.

00:21:09.000 Oh.

00:21:10.000 Remember the Get Off My Lawn promos we were trying to do?

00:21:12.000 Yes.

00:21:13.000 I believe we did 87 takes.

00:21:16.000 I'm Hmong.

00:21:18.000 Yeah, you're Hmong.

00:21:20.000 I remember it.

00:21:21.000 Okay.

00:21:22.000 So what are you doing?

00:21:23.000 Just showing yourself?

00:21:25.000 You're better at showing yourself than showing anything on the World Wide Web.

00:21:29.000 All right, let's, so let's just, let me show you this because I realized last night, she's the worst actor in America.

00:21:35.000 Actress?

00:21:35.000 Actor?

00:21:37.000 I'm Deborah Hammer.

00:21:39.000 I'm Ed's manager.

00:21:41.000 We should talk.

00:21:42.000 Yeah.

00:21:43.000 Just pause.

00:21:44.000 How about this?

00:21:45.000 I'm Deborah Hanger.

00:21:46.000 I'm Ed's manager.

00:21:47.000 should talk.

00:21:51.000 I'm Ed's manager.

00:21:54.000 We should talk.

00:21:55.000 But smile.

00:21:56.000 What are you doing?

00:21:56.000 I do the smile at the end.

00:21:58.000 And it's funny because when you see a terrible actor, are you supposed to say actor or actress?

00:22:02.000 I remember there was a fad in the 90s where you had to call all actresses actor, but it seems to have faded away.

00:22:07.000 I don't know.

00:22:08.000 I mean, there's still a best actress award, right?

00:22:10.000 I'm saying actress.

00:22:11.000 Yeah.

00:22:11.000 That takes too long.

00:22:12.000 I'm saying, frankly, I'm saying actress.

00:22:15.000 Okay, go ahead.

00:22:16.000 I mean, I've kind of got a manager back home now.

00:22:19.000 Yeah, you realize, no, just pause.

00:22:21.000 When you see shitty acting, it pulls you out of the movie, obviously.

00:22:23.000 But then you're watching the other actors and you go, wow, you guys are good at acting.

00:22:26.000 Because you made me think of the script by seeing this.

00:22:29.000 And now I'm seeing him do the script.

00:22:30.000 And we're going, hey, Hamish Patel, you're doing a pretty good job next to this fucking leopard-skinned clown.

00:22:37.000 We should talk.

00:22:38.000 Okay, great.

00:22:40.000 That's great.

00:22:43.000 Good.

00:22:43.000 Have a good night.

00:22:44.000 I'll see you in Los Angeles.

00:22:46.000 Very Jane Los Angeles.

00:22:47.000 I'm glad you paused right there, too, because I'll see you in Los Angeles.

00:22:50.000 Then she's supposed to walk away, but she knows the next line is him going, well, Los Angeles.

00:22:54.000 So she doesn't really walk away.

00:22:55.000 Oh, wow.

00:22:56.000 It's sort of like in fight scenes where the guy's waiting for the punch.

00:22:59.000 Yeah.

00:23:02.000 Los Angeles.

00:23:04.000 Oh, wait, that really is bad.

00:23:06.000 Have a good night.

00:23:06.000 I'll see you in Los Angeles.

00:23:07.000 Okay, bye.

00:23:07.000 Bye, Kate.

00:23:08.000 Los Angeles.

00:23:09.000 Oh.

00:23:10.000 Yeah, well, we need you to come to LA.

00:23:13.000 See, we pay, and then you come, and you write songs, and then we release them, and you make a ton of money.

00:23:21.000 And then we take most of it.

00:23:25.000 That's actually not the worst.

00:23:27.000 Okay.

00:23:28.000 I have a question.

00:23:29.000 Is this the best that you can look?

00:23:33.000 Shung.

00:23:34.000 Oh, God.

00:23:35.000 Brits love their shung.

00:23:37.000 That made me sad.

00:23:38.000 It's the guy who did Slum Dog Millionaire, I believe.

00:23:41.000 Okay, I have another clip there.

00:23:42.000 I've amassed a few Kate McKinnons.

00:23:44.000 This one's particularly bad.

00:23:47.000 Jack Malik.

00:23:51.000 Welcome to my little beach shack.

00:23:54.000 Thank you for coming.

00:23:55.000 I can tell this lesbian's never worn high heels before, too.

00:23:57.000 She's almost tripping over herself.

00:24:01.000 You're not very attractive.

00:24:02.000 No.

00:24:03.000 You are out of shape.

00:24:04.000 Yes.

00:24:05.000 You are skinny yet somehow round.

00:24:09.000 You have been profoundly unsuccessful for 10 years.

00:24:13.000 Okay, just pause.

00:24:16.000 There's one I did the actual time code on, and it's a perfect example of what I'm talking about.

00:24:23.000 Pay close attention, folks.

00:24:25.000 Failure.

00:24:26.000 Sit, please.

00:24:27.000 But now.

00:24:29.000 Coming up.

00:24:30.000 Now, you've hit an extraordinary songwriting groove.

00:24:34.000 There it is.

00:24:35.000 And you want to be the biggest star in the world.

00:24:36.000 I thought you left your head off.

00:24:38.000 Well, yes.

00:24:39.000 Did you see that?

00:24:40.000 And you want to be the biggest star in the world.

00:24:42.000 You didn't see her?

00:24:43.000 Cock her head back?

00:24:44.000 Yes.

00:24:44.000 And now you're a big songwriting groove.

00:24:46.000 What the fuck happened?

00:24:47.000 I'm douching out.

00:24:48.000 Did someone remove your anal beads in mid-sentence?

00:24:51.000 How?

00:24:52.000 Like starting a lone mower?

00:24:53.000 Extraordinary songwriting groove.

00:24:56.000 What was that?

00:24:56.000 You want to be the biggest star in the world?

00:24:58.000 Songwriting groove.

00:25:00.000 Yes.

00:25:00.000 I don't know.

00:25:01.000 Isn't she terrible?

00:25:02.000 Yeah.

00:25:03.000 Well, yes, I guess.

00:25:05.000 Yes.

00:25:07.000 You know what's scary, too?

00:25:08.000 Because she's a lesbian, you know that there's going to be a billion people going, Kate is amazing.

00:25:15.000 Unbelievable.

00:25:16.000 Look what she did with the head.

00:25:18.000 I mean, that wasn't in the script, believe it.

00:25:19.000 They didn't write it in.

00:25:20.000 No, she added in this.

00:25:24.000 It's akin to Jim Kate.

00:25:25.000 She was watching Sebastian.

00:25:27.000 What's his name?

00:25:28.000 Maniscalco.

00:25:29.000 Maniscalco.

00:25:32.000 Women have become obsessed with ripping off Sebastian Maniscalco.

00:25:36.000 It's not a good look.

00:25:37.000 He can do it.

00:25:38.000 It's an exaggeration of being Italian.

00:25:40.000 So what he's doing, he's lovingly, I'm not going to say mocking, but he's lovingly performing an homage to Italian demeanor.

00:25:48.000 That's not for you, Whitney Cummings.

00:25:51.000 That's not for you, Kate McKinnon.

00:25:53.000 Sorry, Irish ladies.

00:25:54.000 You can't have that.

00:25:56.000 She's not good at it, and it's not a joke.

00:26:00.000 The joke is, I'm Italian.

00:26:01.000 I'm really Italian.

00:26:03.000 The joke is not, you're on a really good, successful writing career.

00:26:10.000 What?

00:26:11.000 She stole Jane Lynch's thing, too.

00:26:13.000 That whole like awkward, smiley creep change.

00:26:17.000 Oh, yeah, the sort of tough, brassy, lesbian broad.

00:26:20.000 And then she'll smile afterwards.

00:26:22.000 Like a big weird smile.

00:26:23.000 Can we trace that back before Jane Lynch, or did she kind of make up that whole sleeve?

00:26:29.000 You know, John Glazer does the same character, but male.

00:26:32.000 This sort of like, hey, I'm a tough guy.

00:26:34.000 I have a mullet and I like to shoot guns.

00:26:37.000 That's how I make hamburgers.

00:26:39.000 I shoot them out of the sky.

00:26:40.000 They fall in the grill.

00:26:41.000 And then I have bullet burgers.

00:26:43.000 And it's corny.

00:26:45.000 It's a cliche.

00:26:46.000 And those people don't really exist.

00:26:49.000 I'm talking about like the creep one where she's like, hey, how you doing there, buddy?

00:26:52.000 And she's like smiley and weird and creepy.

00:26:55.000 Ah, yeah.

00:26:56.000 Okay.

00:26:56.000 That, I think, is kind of original, but she took it from Jane Lynch.

00:26:59.000 The only time Kate McKinnon has been more annoying than she was in the movie yesterday is in Ghostbusters 2, where it's exactly the same thing, but she plays this hyper-confident nerd who doesn't exist.

00:27:12.000 Check her out.

00:27:17.000 Okay, just pause.

00:27:18.000 Look at how the actual actress, not the character, is sitting in her chair.

00:27:23.000 Go back.

00:27:23.000 She's got one leg over the side.

00:27:26.000 Have you ever seen anyone sit like that in your entire life?

00:27:29.000 Ever.

00:27:30.000 Including like all-night brainstorms.

00:27:34.000 What are you doing?

00:27:36.000 Why is your leg there?

00:27:38.000 She's like Gary Coleman, if you will.

00:27:41.000 As well.

00:27:44.000 She's bizarre.

00:27:45.000 What?

00:27:46.000 She's in charge of perfecting the machinery.

00:27:49.000 I got some pretty cool stuff cooking up over here if you want to just turn your hand.

00:27:52.000 I improved beam accuracy by adding a plasma shield to the RF discharge chamber.

00:27:56.000 I have cryocooler to reduce helium boil-off.

00:27:58.000 And to dub it all up, we got a freaking Faraday cage.

00:28:03.000 Yes, this is the closest to my actual self that I've ever played.

00:28:07.000 Forgot about my new toy.

00:28:11.000 Kate is just unbelievable and miserable and just so incredible.

00:28:14.000 Women can't get a spider out of the bathtub, but they can go kill ghosts.

00:28:20.000 Oh, now it's E.T. Anyway, I was watching all that, and it reminded me that Robert Downey Jr. is the worst dressed man in Hollywood.

00:28:31.000 I know that's a bit of a stretch, but just as Kate McKinnon's hyper-overacting wrecks movies, Robert Downey Jr.'s outfits ruin movies.

00:28:39.000 Now, I mentioned this on the show before, and a reader, a reader, a viewer, that must be from my advice days, sent in an email and he said, I have a theory.

00:28:48.000 Now, my original theory was that he's banging his stylist, and he likes her around.

00:28:52.000 She's great at blowjobs.

00:28:54.000 And his wife somehow lets it go.

00:28:57.000 They have a rule, like whatever happens on set stays on set.

00:29:00.000 You can get BJs, whatever.

00:29:02.000 So he sends this woman money and she keeps him around.

00:29:06.000 And then he has his family life.

00:29:07.000 And it's like the gouma.

00:29:08.000 It's like the old Italian way.

00:29:10.000 But that theory has some loose ends that aren't great.

00:29:14.000 And this viewer wrote in and said, yeah, but he's been the worst dressed man in Hollywood since the 80s, since we were all kids.

00:29:22.000 And I thought, that's a good point.

00:29:23.000 you wouldn't have the same mistress for 40 years.

00:29:27.000 So his theory, which I'm now stealing, is that Robert Downey Jr. is so proud of himself that he demands that he It's in his writer.

00:29:41.000 I will do the movie, but I call the shots.

00:29:43.000 And women are so fucking bad at styling that they always ruin movies.

00:29:47.000 You'll notice most movies and commercials, guys are wearing these shirts that no one wears, and it's a collarless t-shirt with three buttons.

00:29:55.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:29:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:56.000 Like the long underwear shirts?

00:29:58.000 They always wear those.

00:29:59.000 You know why?

00:30:01.000 Because this silly cow is terrible at budgeting.

00:30:04.000 And at the 11th hour, she realized she emptied her budget on some stupid leather suit.

00:30:09.000 And now she has to go to Walmart and buy a bunch of shirts in bulk for $4 each.

00:30:13.000 That's why they're always wearing those.

00:30:15.000 And they're always wearing new clothes in movies.

00:30:20.000 Yeah, look, look at that brand new track suit.

00:30:23.000 It's the worst.

00:30:24.000 And he's got a brand new blue t-shirt that's never been washed.

00:30:27.000 His hat.

00:30:28.000 Why is everyone wearing new clothes in every movie?

00:30:32.000 Like, there's not one stain on anything?

00:30:34.000 Everyone comes out of a catalog.

00:30:36.000 It's really distracting.

00:30:38.000 Anyway, so Robert, I don't mind you saying, I'm going to handle this because these bitches ruin it.

00:30:44.000 But you're actually worse than these dumb sluts that do this for a living.

00:30:48.000 I'm amazed.

00:30:50.000 You know who should be doing styling?

00:30:52.000 They're called fags.

00:30:55.000 And before we demanded that women be part of everything, especially movies, there's a big push with feminism.

00:31:02.000 Not a big push to get women into sanitation, but a big push to get women into movies.

00:31:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:31:10.000 Yeah.

00:31:10.000 Well, that's later, Hosan, you know.

00:31:12.000 But the neckerchief, there's no excuse for that.

00:31:14.000 Wow.

00:31:15.000 He really does pop his collars on his blazers.

00:31:17.000 I thought you were just trying to make me look like an idiot.

00:31:23.000 That is more evidence that this viewer is correct and I'm wrong.

00:31:29.000 Because you don't get a stylist to do the red carpet, right?

00:31:32.000 I can't believe I didn't think of this.

00:31:34.000 Just Google Robert Downey Jr.

00:31:36.000 Robert Downey Jr.

00:31:39.000 What a fucking you have the same glasses and I bought those as a joke.

00:31:42.000 Yeah.

00:31:44.000 He's a joke.

00:31:45.000 Look, there's not one picture of him where he doesn't look annoying.

00:31:49.000 This is no, there's something about that that's terrible.

00:31:52.000 It's subgate.

00:31:55.000 My daughter said to me this morning because I was talking about this, oh my God, wait, we have a video of someone wearing that.

00:32:00.000 Whoa!

00:32:03.000 Wait, my eyes didn't really understand.

00:32:07.000 If that was a 12-year-old girl, you'd say, you look really cute, sweetie.

00:32:11.000 Wow.

00:32:12.000 That's the only person who could possibly wear that.

00:32:16.000 Yes.

00:32:17.000 Dude, his name's Stephen Bailey.

00:32:20.000 He's a fan of the show.

00:32:22.000 And I'm now 100% on board with him.

00:32:25.000 It's Robert Downey Jr.

00:32:26.000 Look at his little boots.

00:32:29.000 Oh my God.

00:32:30.000 He's got Oshkosh Bagosh sweatpants on and a Vietnam vet parka with a fluorescent.

00:32:38.000 Oh my god, he keeps hitting it out of the park.

00:32:40.000 That's actually the best one so far.

00:32:42.000 There's no low to low.

00:32:44.000 Whoa!

00:32:44.000 I can't explain it.

00:32:46.000 What?

00:32:46.000 He's a snowboarding academic.

00:32:49.000 It's like a kid that wants to be the Joker for Halloween, but has no money.

00:32:53.000 He's Professor Ollie kickflip.

00:32:55.000 Oh, that's.

00:32:56.000 Okay, that's okay, but that must be Sherlock Holmes.

00:32:59.000 In fact, my daughter asked that.

00:33:00.000 She said, did you mind him in Sherlock Holmes?

00:33:02.000 And I go, you can't really fuck up 18th century English.

00:33:05.000 Yeah, they don't take a lot of liberties.

00:33:07.000 Just tweet suits.

00:33:08.000 He loves his baggy snowboard pants, doesn't he?

00:33:11.000 Yeah.

00:33:11.000 Oh, my God, what a fucking tool he is.

00:33:15.000 Every picture.

00:33:16.000 And this drives me nuts.

00:33:17.000 Go up to that how much money, that one there.

00:33:19.000 Where's that?

00:33:20.000 With the tie.

00:33:21.000 It's the one that says how much money.

00:33:22.000 I'm looking.

00:33:23.000 I'm panicking now.

00:33:24.000 You should be.

00:33:24.000 It's going bad.

00:33:25.000 How much money?

00:33:26.000 Okay, there we go.

00:33:26.000 Jesus.

00:33:27.000 How about the closest to the picture?

00:33:28.000 This is what he always does, too.

00:33:29.000 He always undoes his top button because it's more comfortable.

00:33:32.000 Dude, you have a tailor.

00:33:34.000 You can make the top button as loose as all can be.

00:33:38.000 How can you not be able to do your top button?

00:33:41.000 Even Tony Starks.

00:33:43.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:44.000 You were saying, this is the winner.

00:33:47.000 Look at this.

00:33:48.000 I'm sorry.

00:33:48.000 What were you saying about my top button?

00:33:50.000 Private homo.

00:33:52.000 Look at him investigating who let the dogs out.

00:33:56.000 So what?

00:33:56.000 I borrowed my grandmother's glasses.

00:33:58.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:59.000 Big deal.

00:34:00.000 And the award for best outfit goes to me.

00:34:04.000 I'm already up here, so.

00:34:07.000 Holy shit.

00:34:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:09.000 What are you wearing?

00:34:11.000 Can you look up, is there a Robert...

00:34:13.000 He dresses worse than Johnny Rotten today.

00:34:17.000 Look at that.

00:34:18.000 Is that a cape?

00:34:19.000 It was cold.

00:34:20.000 Now it's not.

00:34:20.000 Put it on my shoulders.

00:34:21.000 Is he wearing a shawl?

00:34:23.000 Do we have a problem?

00:34:25.000 Finally, a men's shawl.

00:34:26.000 Even my face is wearing terrible clothing.

00:34:29.000 Yeah, stupid beard.

00:34:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:33.000 If there's a woman responsible for this.

00:34:35.000 So let's go back.

00:34:36.000 Sorry.

00:34:37.000 Looks regular suit, but glittery.

00:34:39.000 Let's go back to the original email from that guy.

00:34:43.000 Oh, look, I got those lights in my eyes.

00:34:45.000 Maybe I can get three.

00:34:46.000 Stars in his eyes.

00:34:50.000 Wait, Ryan, this is going to be the thumbnail?

00:34:53.000 The thumbnail.

00:34:54.000 Okay.

00:34:56.000 Right there.

00:34:57.000 Got it?

00:34:57.000 Got it.

00:34:58.000 You only have two in there, but that's okay.

00:35:01.000 I could edit another one in there.

00:35:02.000 No, no.

00:35:04.000 What are you doing now?

00:35:06.000 Looking for the email.

00:35:07.000 Why are you looking for the fucking email?

00:35:09.000 And why are you looking in your scent?

00:35:10.000 Oh, you're not looking in your scent.

00:35:11.000 Yeah.

00:35:12.000 Come on now.

00:35:14.000 You've sent a bunch of pictures.

00:35:15.000 Jesus, H fucking Christ.

00:35:18.000 Why wouldn't that be ready for the Robert Downey Jr. special episode?

00:35:23.000 Good enough point.

00:35:25.000 So I found video versions of all of these.

00:35:28.000 But this is Weird Science.

00:35:31.000 I believe Weird Science is 1985.

00:35:35.000 11002.

00:35:37.000 Yeah, that's 1985 at the top.

00:35:39.000 And then this one is 1986.

00:35:41.000 Now, I was around.

00:35:42.000 I was 15 in 85, 16 in 86.

00:35:45.000 Do the math.

00:35:46.000 And no one dressed like that.

00:35:49.000 No one wore pirate shirts with weird temporary purple hair.

00:35:55.000 No one looked like that.

00:35:57.000 And there's that shirt that stylists always make you wear.

00:35:59.000 That's talking about.

00:36:02.000 Too much sun.

00:36:03.000 He was a chauffeur, so that one doesn't really count.

00:36:05.000 And then shortcuts.

00:36:06.000 Look at that.

00:36:07.000 What the hell?

00:36:09.000 What's this?

00:36:09.000 Home for the holidays?

00:36:10.000 I don't remember that one.

00:36:13.000 What's he wearing there?

00:36:14.000 Henley.

00:36:16.000 Button Henley.

00:36:18.000 That's not so bad, considering the time.

00:36:20.000 Yeah.

00:36:20.000 But show some of the videos I got.

00:36:25.000 We should go through the Iron Man movies.

00:36:27.000 Have we got time?

00:36:28.000 Of course we have time.

00:36:29.000 Jarvis, make more time.

00:36:33.000 Check it out.

00:36:34.000 Check it out.

00:36:35.000 Look at what he's wearing.

00:36:37.000 He looks like a lost member of the cure.

00:36:41.000 Hi, Buck.

00:36:43.000 Go forward to the next one.

00:36:45.000 We're just talking about outfits, not scenes.

00:36:47.000 That scene in that movie, he has on gigantic yellow socks.

00:36:53.000 Yeah, stop right there.

00:36:54.000 You see those bare legs in the background?

00:36:56.000 Yeah.

00:36:57.000 With the yellow socks?

00:36:58.000 That's him.

00:36:59.000 And he's got weird safari shorts on with like hiking boots.

00:37:03.000 Look at him.

00:37:04.000 And he's three feet tall.

00:37:09.000 Here we come.

00:37:11.000 Look at this little outfit.

00:37:14.000 Sorry.

00:37:15.000 We're sorry.

00:37:17.000 This is a weird scene.

00:37:18.000 Look, women don't have peripheral vision.

00:37:22.000 How could you not see them doing that?

00:37:28.000 That's his style.

00:37:30.000 That's so weird.

00:37:31.000 Like back in the 80s, that was like a thing where like two guys, they're equally wacky.

00:37:35.000 Oh, here's Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield.

00:37:37.000 Bio Dome.

00:37:38.000 Just like his beard is a don't in Iron Man, his hair is a don't in Back to School.

00:37:48.000 Nice look.

00:37:49.000 Were you going for the heavy disassociated artist thing or the ongoing blind thing?

00:37:55.000 Huh?

00:37:57.000 Oh, that thing.

00:38:00.000 Make this cheer you up.

00:38:01.000 Oh, Joey.

00:38:03.000 Talented actor.

00:38:05.000 Yeah, agree, Rodney Dangerfield.

00:38:07.000 All right, so my thesis is, and we're 90% sure why, we believe it's because he decides what he wants to wear in movies.

00:38:15.000 Oh, by the way, sorry, to get back to homosexuals.

00:38:17.000 The movie Jaws, if you look at the outfits in that movie, they're all perfect.

00:38:22.000 They're not all brand new.

00:38:23.000 Rob Schneider's got his little shorts with his jacket on.

00:38:26.000 The mayor has that cool blazer that Anthony Kumia has with the anchors on it.

00:38:32.000 The guy who wants to fight the sharks.

00:38:35.000 I think I did an article about this on Street Carnage about 10 years ago.

00:38:40.000 I looked up that stylist.

00:38:41.000 He was a raging gay.

00:38:43.000 And I think men are better at everything.

00:38:45.000 And if we have a female job, like choosing outfits, I think we're still better than that.

00:38:49.000 We just use our gays.

00:38:52.000 Look at these guys.

00:38:54.000 They look fantastic.

00:38:55.000 Look up Street Carnage Jaws outfits.

00:38:58.000 That's Richard Dreyfus.

00:38:59.000 He's got a Perfectly beaten up sweatshirt.

00:39:01.000 He also wears a jean jacket with jeans in it and a little cute hat and some red wings.

00:39:08.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:39:09.000 I've discussed this subject before.

00:39:12.000 Great outfits.

00:39:13.000 Look at that.

00:39:14.000 Nicely broken in.

00:39:15.000 Keep scrolling down.

00:39:18.000 Fantastic.

00:39:19.000 Note it's not brand new.

00:39:22.000 Ladies, you're not good at getting dressed.

00:39:25.000 I'm sorry.

00:39:26.000 In fact, you look at these runway costumes.

00:39:29.000 They look ridiculous.

00:39:30.000 Look, now that is a man styling.

00:39:33.000 We're fine for fashion.

00:39:34.000 We'll just use our gaze.

00:39:36.000 You just stay at home, please.

00:39:39.000 Look at that.

00:39:40.000 Even when he's watching a kid die, he looks fantastic.

00:39:43.000 Great shirt.

00:39:44.000 I actually tried dressing like this for a while.

00:39:46.000 It's really hard to pull off.

00:39:49.000 And look at that nice old hat.

00:39:50.000 That would be brand new from Walmart if it was a chick doing this movie.

00:39:57.000 Let's go through Iron Man and have a look at some Tony Stark's outfits because...

00:39:57.000 You know what?

00:40:06.000 What is this one?

00:40:08.000 No, that's boring.

00:40:11.000 I haven't seen that suit guy.

00:40:13.000 Let's look at him for a second.

00:40:15.000 He's a styled kind of dude, guru, YouTuber.

00:40:19.000 But in a classic conservative style.

00:40:22.000 Now let's talk about Tony Stark, who seems to be the opposite of Bruce Wayne.

00:40:25.000 He's comparing Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark's.

00:40:27.000 K-Pod.

00:40:28.000 Look at that stupid, stupid, stupid snowboard jacket.

00:40:33.000 Snowboarding was cool in the 90s, and he's stuck in the 90s.

00:40:38.000 I was around in the 90s, and it was all about rave and EDM, dance music, and going to clubs, and big platform shoes and zippers on everything.

00:40:49.000 Everyone was in the future in the 90s.

00:40:52.000 And then we went, this is stupid, and stopped.

00:40:54.000 He's still there.

00:40:55.000 Look at that coat.

00:40:56.000 Now, there's fans, usually in LA, usually fat, usually a third Hispanic, who like this shit.

00:41:06.000 Like this guy.

00:41:15.000 Awesome.

00:41:16.000 That's a man.

00:41:17.000 Geeks Worldwide, what's going on?

00:41:19.000 Darth Sparrow back here with another awesome.

00:41:21.000 He made his facial hair like his, too.

00:41:23.000 If you guys have ever seen me on my show, The Geekside Plus.

00:41:26.000 Iron Man is a superhero movie for little kids, my friend.

00:41:31.000 You're dressed up as Dora the Explorer right now.

00:41:35.000 You're wearing a kid's show.

00:41:36.000 Not only with a brand new suit, but of course he brought the Stark style up another notch, like he always does in every movie that he's in.

00:41:43.000 And of course, one of the coolest things that he's doing.

00:41:45.000 So this is the only person who doesn't think that Tony Stark is the worst-dressed superhero in the world.

00:41:50.000 And he's a dork.

00:41:52.000 All right, go back to the whatever we were looking at.

00:41:55.000 Oh, yeah, the suit guy, the suit guru.

00:41:58.000 The Gutsuru.

00:42:01.000 Puzzle.

00:42:02.000 This is a good little montage.

00:42:04.000 Can you imagine being on Earth and wearing a ripped long sleeve underneath the t-shirt?

00:42:13.000 You just be going, what am I doing?

00:42:15.000 Like, that's a holdover from Grunge, but even Grunge didn't do that.

00:42:19.000 Whose idea was that?

00:42:21.000 I got to look up Robert Denny Jr. stylist.

00:42:28.000 Bruce Wayne.

00:42:29.000 He's not classic and conservative.

00:42:31.000 No, he is flashy.

00:42:32.000 He's in your face.

00:42:33.000 He understands the rules, but he decides to break them.

00:42:36.000 So he's going to wear a dark-colored suit, but he's going to mix it up with a bright red dress shirt.

00:42:41.000 He's going to bring in accessories, change small details, bring in colors which clearly send the message: hey, I understand what you want, what the dress code is, but I'm going to set my own dress code.

00:42:51.000 He's not afraid to ruffle some feathers.

00:42:53.000 He wants to be the center of attention.

00:42:56.000 All right, so who won round one?

00:42:57.000 Really, it depends on your personal taste.

00:42:59.000 If you like classic conservative, you're going to love Bruce Wayne.

00:43:02.000 If you want more flamboyant, more in your face, Tony Stark is your man.

00:43:06.000 So for this one, I'm calling it a draw.

00:43:08.000 Okay, I may have found the bitch responsible.

00:43:11.000 What's her name?

00:43:12.000 Her name is Giann Yang.

00:43:15.000 God bless you.

00:43:18.000 Giann Yang.

00:43:18.000 She's the one making this mess.

00:43:22.000 And she's not gay or anything.

00:43:24.000 There's no catch.

00:43:27.000 How are you so useless at your job, Giann?

00:43:30.000 Giann.

00:43:32.000 Her name was Ann, but people kept saying G-Ann, so she changed it.

00:43:36.000 There she is.

00:43:37.000 Yeah.

00:43:38.000 She's the bitch who has ruined all Tony Stark, all Iron Man movies with her terrible pants and her stupid snowboarding gear.

00:43:48.000 What a dork you are, Giann Yang.

00:43:51.000 Are you fucking Robert Downing Jr.?

00:43:53.000 You better be.

00:43:54.000 Because if you're just doing this for your sheer expertise, then you suck.

00:44:00.000 There, that's better.

00:44:02.000 All right, put on Iron Man 1.

00:44:04.000 Because I love that movie.

00:44:05.000 And I don't watch superhero movies.

00:44:08.000 I love that movie as far as having to take my kids to see superhero movies.

00:44:13.000 It was the most tolerable experience I've had out of all of those experiences.

00:44:20.000 I bet you every single outfit in this movie is annoying.

00:44:22.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:44:23.000 Is that a non-annoying suit?

00:44:25.000 Wait.

00:44:26.000 I would have to say no.

00:44:28.000 There's got to be some little zipper where it's not supposed to be or something.

00:44:31.000 Or he'll have like a fish in the front pocket.

00:44:36.000 Well, first of all, Agent Coulson.

00:44:39.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:40.000 The guy from the Strategic Home.

00:44:43.000 Stop the presses.

00:44:44.000 That shirt fits.

00:44:46.000 The top button's done.

00:44:47.000 He's got a bow tie.

00:44:49.000 He's not annoying.

00:44:52.000 You need a new name for that?

00:44:53.000 Yeah, I hear that a lot.

00:44:56.000 Listen, I know this must be a trying time for you, but we need to keep going.

00:45:00.000 Let's scroll to the next ensemble.

00:45:03.000 You don't think that there's some anomaly there?

00:45:05.000 No.

00:45:06.000 Huh.

00:45:07.000 Oh, God.

00:45:07.000 Gwyneth Paltrow in that last end of the world thing where she's an Iron Man?

00:45:12.000 Yeah.

00:45:13.000 Why are you halfway through the movie?

00:45:16.000 It's peeking.

00:45:18.000 No, we're starting at the beginning, you fuckhead.

00:45:20.000 Oh.

00:45:21.000 Why wouldn't you start at the beginning?

00:45:23.000 It was just there.

00:45:24.000 I guess it must have been playing or something.

00:45:26.000 Okay, pause.

00:45:27.000 Look at this.

00:45:28.000 So you go, oh, Good, he's wearing a suit.

00:45:31.000 All right, look at that.

00:45:32.000 Is that the top two buttons undone?

00:45:34.000 Why are you doing that?

00:45:36.000 Is that supposed to look casual?

00:45:37.000 The guy from the Libertines can pull that off, but don't, guys.

00:45:41.000 Let me just explain something to you: do not have your top button undone.

00:45:46.000 You look like a fucking amateur, you look like someone who is going for their first job interview.

00:45:53.000 It's embarrassing.

00:45:54.000 You're wearing a shirt that doesn't fit you, so you don't know how to buy shirts.

00:45:57.000 It makes it look terrible to your prospective employer.

00:46:01.000 You look dumb to your boss.

00:46:03.000 To other dudes, you look like you're dressed up for work.

00:46:06.000 You shouldn't look like you're dressed up for work.

00:46:08.000 You shouldn't look like the second you get home, you change into those stupid basketball shorts that look like a dress and some wife beater, and then you've got your little stupid sockets, your little ankle socks with your sliders, your shower shoes.

00:46:21.000 And then you go to the bodega and you get a fucking Arizona iced tea and watch a football game.

00:46:27.000 Fuck you.

00:46:29.000 Excellent bone structure there.

00:46:30.000 I'm kind of having a hard time not looking at you now.

00:46:33.000 Is that weird?

00:46:34.000 Come on, it's okay.

00:46:35.000 Laugh.

00:46:36.000 Hey!

00:46:36.000 Sir, I have a question now.

00:46:38.000 So that's enough.

00:46:39.000 That's one outfit.

00:46:40.000 Let's scroll to the next one.

00:46:43.000 He blows up.

00:46:44.000 He gets kidnapped.

00:46:46.000 He builds an Iron Man suit in jail.

00:46:47.000 Like, no, go back to that montage.

00:46:52.000 At least the terrorists were Muslim in that movie.

00:46:54.000 That was cool.

00:46:56.000 And not some French white nationalist like in diehard.

00:47:01.000 Okay, that's not bad.

00:47:02.000 That's bad.

00:47:05.000 70s suit for some stupid reason.

00:47:09.000 His dad looks awesome.

00:47:10.000 John Stark, whatever his name is.

00:47:15.000 Photoshopping these things always sucks, doesn't it?

00:47:19.000 That one's bad.

00:47:20.000 They're always bad.

00:47:21.000 I had a whole collection on Instagram until I was banned for exposing the truth about shitty Photoshop in movies.

00:47:37.000 Again, with the top button undone.

00:47:40.000 I'm going to play by your rules, okay?

00:47:42.000 Tony ushers in a new era for his father's legacy.

00:47:45.000 Look at that.

00:47:47.000 But the tie was sideways.

00:47:48.000 The tie knot, yeah.

00:47:49.000 It's always like he just loosened it.

00:47:50.000 Is that Jian Yang's idea?

00:47:54.000 Tony is a man of the world.

00:47:55.000 It wouldn't be funny if we got on the show and just berated her.

00:47:58.000 Like the way Tucker shits on some Antifa dude.

00:48:00.000 We were the same way.

00:48:01.000 But Jan, what have you done?

00:48:03.000 What have you done?

00:48:05.000 You've ruined a character and you've shown young people how not to dress.

00:48:10.000 What's with the snowboard shit?

00:48:13.000 Is that all right?

00:48:14.000 That's not terrible, I guess.

00:48:15.000 A 70s tie, though?

00:48:17.000 Gucci's really into 70s.

00:48:18.000 I don't, it makes me think of B.O. O. Teriology.

00:48:22.000 This is the tree of life.

00:48:24.000 Wait, just pause.

00:48:24.000 Let's just take a tangent now.

00:48:27.000 Look up Terrence Howard interview Emmys.

00:48:32.000 I saw it the other day, and he said he's retiring because of the flower of life.

00:48:38.000 He's discovered that one times one is two, and instead of acting, what does he say?

00:48:44.000 Acting like I can walk on water?

00:48:46.000 Simbo.

00:48:47.000 He is going to follow these Simbos.

00:48:50.000 Sambos.

00:48:51.000 Sambo.

00:48:53.000 I'm gone from Sambo to Simbo.

00:48:55.000 I'm done pretending.

00:48:57.000 Whoa.

00:48:58.000 Gianna Yang again?

00:49:00.000 What's it like working on the last few shows?

00:49:03.000 I mean, it's sort of training into PTSD because you know with the schedule that Fox put together for Empire, it's a lot of high drama, a lot of overall drama.

00:49:17.000 So there's a lot of emotional baggage that they're going to cram into this one year to make sure they get all of their storylines.

00:49:24.000 So we've got a bunch of therapists lined up so that we'll be able to walk through that place and maybe come out together.

00:49:33.000 So when you found out that this season would be the last, how did you find out and what was your initial reaction?

00:49:38.000 Lee Daniels called me and he said, how many more do you want to do?

00:49:42.000 I said, none.

00:49:44.000 He said, okay, good, because we're thinking about this being the final one.

00:49:47.000 I was like, thank God.

00:49:49.000 Thank God.

00:49:50.000 Well, you know, my character has never had a good day.

00:49:53.000 The side of her face is really nice to look at.

00:49:57.000 Had a good day and as actor.

00:49:58.000 My camera's blocking.

00:49:59.000 Look at that nose.

00:50:00.000 Oh, you don't see that?

00:50:02.000 Oh, she is insanely attractive.

00:50:04.000 That's ridiculous.

00:50:05.000 What a smoker.

00:50:07.000 That's got to be, you need a little bit of Spanish in you.

00:50:10.000 And the lip, look at the lip just jutting out like me.

00:50:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:12.000 Perfect.

00:50:14.000 She's literally perfect.

00:50:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:15.000 I'm not seeing anything wrong here.

00:50:17.000 You want to know the most attractive a woman's ever been?

00:50:19.000 Wake up.

00:50:21.000 Lily Allen dressed as a sailor.

00:50:24.000 Look up Lily Allen's sailor suit.

00:50:26.000 It's just dictionary boner.

00:50:29.000 If you want to find out if your son's gay, don't wait.

00:50:32.000 Don't start too young.

00:50:33.000 But like around 13 or 14, go, is this insane?

00:50:36.000 Is this stuck in your head for the rest of your life?

00:50:38.000 Oh, that's pretty sick.

00:50:39.000 And if he goes, hey, dad, that Lily Allen picture you showed me, I can't stop thinking about it.

00:50:45.000 He looks like Rihanna, but like better.

00:50:47.000 But you know what else is great about it?

00:50:48.000 Look at when she gets out of the...

00:50:51.000 There you go.

00:50:52.000 I saw a nip.

00:50:53.000 She's kind of frail.

00:50:55.000 You know, like women, when women walk like a deer, go back to her getting out of the car.

00:50:59.000 She has this sort of like ladiness about her, like, oops, I'm getting out of a car.

00:51:04.000 Better be careful.

00:51:04.000 Black leather.

00:51:05.000 The crossed legs is what does that.

00:51:07.000 Oh, my God.

00:51:07.000 Look at her face.

00:51:08.000 She's kind of slutty.

00:51:09.000 Go to that one.

00:51:10.000 No, go to that one.

00:51:12.000 No.

00:51:13.000 Yeah, that one.

00:51:14.000 Look at her eyes.

00:51:15.000 Oh, and look at the way her shoulders are up in the second one.

00:51:19.000 Oh, go, be careful.

00:51:20.000 I'm in very high heels.

00:51:21.000 Oh, she's British?

00:51:22.000 She's a Britishy?

00:51:23.000 Yes, Ryan.

00:51:24.000 Lily Allen is.

00:51:25.000 I don't know that fudge.

00:51:28.000 I mean, that's just it.

00:51:30.000 This Lily Allen in a sailor costume, it might be tacky, ladies, I know.

00:51:35.000 But we don't care.

00:51:36.000 We're not big on high-end fashion.

00:51:38.000 Nope, stop showing that.

00:51:40.000 Just show sailor suit.

00:51:41.000 Okay.

00:51:42.000 You want to see what her underarms look like?

00:51:46.000 It doesn't get prettier than that.

00:51:48.000 You should be here for Halloween if you're not a hideous fat pig.

00:51:53.000 Look at that.

00:51:54.000 Holy S-H-I-T.

00:51:57.000 All right, we're off at a 10.

00:51:58.000 Oh, my God.

00:51:59.000 That was a good one.

00:51:59.000 Go back.

00:52:01.000 Oh, my God.

00:52:01.000 The way they go boom and then boom.

00:52:03.000 Yeah, the double boom.

00:52:06.000 Who?

00:52:08.000 That's pretty sick.

00:52:09.000 Wow.

00:52:10.000 All right.

00:52:10.000 Well, anyway, back to work.

00:52:12.000 Ruined my day.

00:52:13.000 No, she's fat and ugly and stupid now and a real annoying refugee bitch who talks about how we need to take in more refugees.

00:52:22.000 Oh, nobody said I'd listen to her.

00:52:25.000 But you could see if you got her now, that she's 40 or whatever, and said, can you put on the sailor suit?

00:52:29.000 And she goes, ta-da!

00:52:30.000 And you go, oh, I sold my soul to the devil for this.

00:52:37.000 And so you, I think I heard you say that you were done with acting after this.

00:52:42.000 Is that true?

00:52:42.000 Or is that a big old line?

00:52:44.000 I can find yourself.

00:52:45.000 I've been spent 37 years pretending to be people.

00:52:49.000 Peepo.

00:52:50.000 Peepo.

00:52:51.000 No, I've spent 37 years pretending to be people so people can watch me pretend.

00:52:58.000 And I think it's time just to be Terry for a while.

00:53:02.000 I think I've served, like I talked to Sidney 48 years ago, and I said, aren't you going to come back and do one more thing?

00:53:09.000 And he said, I think I've done my best.

00:53:12.000 And I don't want to do an impersonation of myself.

00:53:15.000 And as you know, I've got my book, One Times One Equals Two.

00:53:19.000 And I want to go and promote and teach the new geometry.

00:53:23.000 Imagine he took that laugh seriously.

00:53:25.000 He was like, who the fuck laughing at me?

00:53:26.000 This is my Sim Baus.

00:53:28.000 As you know, I'm sure as everyone's familiar with my book, One Times One Equals Two.

00:53:33.000 I mean, it's redundant.

00:53:35.000 It's like J.D. Salinger talking about Catcher in the Rye.

00:53:37.000 Duh.

00:53:38.000 My book you've all read.

00:53:39.000 I don't want to be redundant here.

00:53:41.000 You know what's weird?

00:53:42.000 I think I have to read that.

00:53:44.000 You're going to order that book?

00:53:46.000 Yeah.

00:53:46.000 Just look at your mic control if you want to.

00:53:48.000 One times one equals two.

00:53:52.000 Terrence D. Howard.

00:53:53.000 One times one equals two.

00:53:54.000 Proof.

00:53:56.000 Oh, look at this.

00:53:56.000 He's proved it.

00:54:00.000 So mathematicians everywhere are scratching their head.

00:54:04.000 I don't see the book, though.

00:54:07.000 Well, I don't know what you mean by serious.

00:54:11.000 Do you think that there's legitimate, like, scientists are actually baffled?

00:54:14.000 Oh, my God, Ryan.

00:54:16.000 No.

00:54:17.000 I don't think that mathematicians are baffled by teriology.

00:54:21.000 Teriology rules.

00:54:23.000 Professional people in the academics of mathematics do not believe that Terrence Howard has rewritten geometry and math.

00:54:33.000 Dang it.

00:54:36.000 Wow.

00:54:38.000 You really, you never seem to amaze me.

00:54:42.000 As P. Diddy once said.

00:54:44.000 One times one equals two.

00:54:46.000 Book.

00:54:48.000 I don't see it.

00:54:49.000 Pepo.

00:54:50.000 Pepo.

00:54:52.000 Yeah, there's no book on Amazon that he's written.

00:54:54.000 This is pretty good.

00:55:00.000 Terrence Howard, Hustle and Flow.

00:55:02.000 There's a bunch of stuff here.

00:55:03.000 There's no one times one.

00:55:05.000 So how would she have read the book if you can't buy it?

00:55:10.000 Yeah, there's nothing here.

00:55:13.000 There's a book about Empire that he's on the cover of.

00:55:17.000 There's an issue of Playgirl that he's in.

00:55:20.000 There's no one times one he goes due.

00:55:23.000 Wow.

00:55:25.000 He's got a Terrence Howard quiz book where you can ask Terrence Howard questions.

00:55:31.000 All right, go back to his Emmy speech because we're missing the best part.

00:55:34.000 And turn it up.

00:55:35.000 I can't hear shit.

00:55:39.000 And I want to go and promote and teach the new geometry.

00:55:44.000 So are you thinking of working on things behind the scenes or is it?

00:55:48.000 I'm teaching new geometry, lady.

00:55:50.000 No, no, the entertainment, we're the only creatures in the universe that spend our day watching each other with all of our brain potential.

00:55:58.000 I put 37 years into that, you know, and I think I would like...

00:56:05.000 I don't know, but geez.

00:56:06.000 I think it's easier to come up with to find animals that don't constantly stare at each other.

00:56:12.000 Monkeys, bird calls are all about defining your territory and where you're at.

00:56:17.000 Dogs are always looking at each other.

00:56:18.000 They're obsessed with each other and each other's assholes.

00:56:21.000 Who doesn't look at each other all the time?

00:56:23.000 We're also the only animals that do a lot of things.

00:56:27.000 Worms don't stare at each other?

00:56:28.000 No, they wouldn't.

00:56:30.000 Bats?

00:56:30.000 I want to be more like a worm and have, you know, the symbo of a worm is just a line, right?

00:56:37.000 Which is a one lying on its side.

00:56:39.000 If you pick up a one and you multiply it by one, you get two.

00:56:43.000 Because one, one is two.

00:56:44.000 Think about it.

00:56:45.000 One, one is either two or eleven or two worms.

00:56:49.000 You can't show me a lie.

00:56:51.000 A lot of people don't understand those symbos.

00:56:55.000 Peepo.

00:56:55.000 I'd like to spend the rest of my life, you know, doing something better for humanity or utilizing my brain for something other than memorizing and saying someone's lines.

00:57:05.000 So what were you thinking?

00:57:06.000 I mean, are you going to get Go ahead.

00:57:09.000 More into philanthropy or activism?

00:57:12.000 Well, the activism is more than anything.

00:57:14.000 So what I want is the truth to be told.

00:57:18.000 The truth about lying.

00:57:20.000 Can you just pause it here?

00:57:22.000 Can you fucking believe this?

00:57:24.000 That a man, a world-famous man, is on mainstream television discussing the lie that one times one is one.

00:57:35.000 That one, one is just one.

00:57:39.000 Terrence, this is one pair of glasses.

00:57:42.000 I know it's deceiving because I said pair.

00:57:45.000 This is one pair of glasses.

00:57:48.000 One times one is one.

00:57:50.000 Now, this is two pairs of glasses, okay?

00:57:53.000 So it's one pair of glasses, but there's two of them.

00:57:56.000 So one times two is one, two.

00:58:00.000 That's not a lie, my friend.

00:58:02.000 I'm telling you the truth.

00:58:04.000 All right, let's get back to Iron Man 1.

00:58:06.000 Because he's not doing so bad.

00:58:09.000 No.

00:58:09.000 Oh, and Terrence Howard is in Iron Man.

00:58:11.000 Yeah, that's why we went on that spiral.

00:58:13.000 yeah.

00:58:13.000 Right back to the...

00:58:18.000 I don't care about symbos or people.

00:58:20.000 Well, they're about to do that.

00:58:23.000 This is one of those movies where you know the nice guy is going to be the bad guy.

00:58:27.000 What is all this shit up here?

00:58:28.000 Oh, there we go.

00:58:29.000 Go back.

00:58:29.000 Wait, What's he got on there?

00:58:30.000 Is that a maroon ascot?

00:58:34.000 Wait a minute.

00:58:34.000 What the fuck is he wearing?

00:58:35.000 I can't see it.

00:58:36.000 Just a black suit with a red, like a burgundy shirt.

00:58:40.000 Yeah.

00:58:41.000 That's not hell on earth.

00:58:43.000 Colored sunglasses.

00:58:44.000 Maybe I'm going to be disproved here.

00:58:47.000 No, no, the colored sunglasses is totally unacceptable.

00:58:50.000 What grown man wears colored sunglasses to an event that happens at night?

00:59:00.000 When I watch him and I look at all the symbos on his shirt, it makes me hate people.

00:59:05.000 What's he got on now?

00:59:05.000 Just a regular.

00:59:07.000 Oh, I remember this scene.

00:59:09.000 And I remember this is where I started hating him and his fucking dumb outfits.

00:59:16.000 But your screen seems kind of dark, dude.

00:59:18.000 Was that just the movie?

00:59:21.000 That's normal.

00:59:24.000 Let's see what symbios he's got here.

00:59:27.000 So he's got an inside-out long underwear shirt on.

00:59:31.000 There's that people.

00:59:32.000 Tawin's Hallowed.

00:59:33.000 Let me know, and I'll get you a bottle, okay?

00:59:35.000 Hey.

00:59:36.000 Look at those glasses.

00:59:38.000 You know who wears glasses like that?

00:59:39.000 It's really irritating.

00:59:40.000 Who?

00:59:41.000 Geraldo.

00:59:46.000 Damn, he's in this cave for a long time.

00:59:48.000 He's still wearing his inside-out shirt?

00:59:50.000 Let's see some cave fashion.

00:59:52.000 I don't care about cave fashion.

00:59:54.000 You can't really criticize someone when they're being held captive in a cave.

00:59:58.000 Yeah, I guess so.

01:00:01.000 Okay, here we go.

01:00:02.000 There's something.

01:00:04.000 What is that?

01:00:05.000 A sling.

01:00:08.000 Oh, he heard his arm escaping from the cave.

01:00:09.000 So that's very basic, also, sure.

01:00:12.000 This isn't so bad.

01:00:13.000 I thought this would be a major coup.

01:00:15.000 I even rented sunglasses for it.

01:00:17.000 Well, this is before he's Iron Man.

01:00:20.000 Post-Iron Man, he's like, I'm a target.

01:00:22.000 Hey, go back, go back.

01:00:23.000 You had him in a leather jacket thing.

01:00:25.000 I'm not doing a good enough job.

01:00:26.000 We can do better.

01:00:30.000 Again, brand new, Genie Yang.

01:00:32.000 Brand new layers.

01:00:35.000 What you need is time to get your mind right.

01:00:40.000 Serious.

01:00:45.000 It's nice seeing you, Tom.

01:00:47.000 Thanks.

01:00:49.000 Thanks.

01:00:50.000 All right, this is getting tedious.

01:00:52.000 I think we're done.

01:00:53.000 My thought is that he becomes Iron Man and then he starts wearing goofy shit.

01:01:00.000 Because he's like...

01:01:03.000 I had sunglasses on.

01:01:04.000 Jesus.

01:01:07.000 The screen's much brighter now that I don't have fucking dark glasses on my eyeballs.

01:01:11.000 You times the glasses by one.

01:01:14.000 This was at the beginning.

01:01:15.000 That's not bad.

01:01:16.000 So far, he's like 50% terrible.

01:01:20.000 This was not the coup I expected.

01:01:22.000 This was the first one, though.

01:01:24.000 To be fair.

01:01:25.000 Okay, now here he is in his office.

01:01:28.000 I bet his top button is undone yet.

01:01:30.000 Yeah, and his tie is off to the side.

01:01:31.000 Look at this.

01:01:32.000 I had these shirts tailor-made.

01:01:33.000 You know how uncomfortable it is to wear the top button done up?

01:01:37.000 Zero.

01:01:38.000 Look at my neck.

01:01:39.000 Is it hanging over the edge?

01:01:41.000 It is not.

01:01:41.000 No, look, I can get a whole finger in there.

01:01:43.000 I'm perfectly comfortable.

01:01:46.000 By the way, old dudes, when you get that Ronald Reagan turkey thing hanging down, grow a beard.

01:01:53.000 You look like a sad turtle.

01:01:57.000 This is now Iron Man 2.

01:01:59.000 You're into Iron Man 2 now?

01:02:00.000 Yes.

01:02:01.000 Wait, what happened to Iron Man 1?

01:02:03.000 You skipped all through it.

01:02:04.000 Yep.

01:02:04.000 A lot of him in a cave.

01:02:06.000 So this has cost me eight bucks so far.

01:02:09.000 Yeah.

01:02:09.000 Right?

01:02:10.000 $3.99 twice.

01:02:11.000 Is this okay what he's wearing there?

01:02:12.000 That's perfectly fine.

01:02:13.000 He looks great.

01:02:14.000 Tuxedo?

01:02:15.000 Jesus.

01:02:16.000 You're watching someone.

01:02:17.000 This is the trouble with the left.

01:02:20.000 They'll have a thesis like Tony Starks looks like shit.

01:02:23.000 They'll do their research.

01:02:24.000 They'll find that only 50% of the time he looks like shit.

01:02:27.000 And they'll say, Iron Man misrepresents Tony Stark's fashion and tries to portray him as sometimes dressing well using lies and trickery.

01:02:36.000 It's fine what he's wearing right there, too.

01:02:39.000 Sure, a little 70s, but whatever.

01:02:40.000 We're still doing pretty good for Tone.

01:02:43.000 This is a dumb episode of Get Off My Lawn.

01:02:48.000 I thought of this last night, by the way, and I was like, you know what we should start doing, man?

01:02:51.000 I texted you.

01:02:52.000 Let's start thinking outside the box and do a whole Tony Starks episode.

01:02:56.000 Yeah, but this, I know what you're talking about.

01:02:59.000 Like, the snowboard jackets, the weird shit.

01:03:02.000 I've seen it.

01:03:03.000 Is this the one with the wrestler guy?

01:03:05.000 Yeah.

01:03:06.000 I thought that was Iron Man 3.

01:03:09.000 What's he got on there?

01:03:12.000 Regular shit?

01:03:13.000 No, that's a dumbass shirt, and he's got snowboard pants on.

01:03:17.000 Not to mention how irritating his goatee is.

01:03:19.000 This is the one that Justin Thoreau wrote.

01:03:22.000 I watched it with my kids, and I was just like, I don't give a fuck about any of these characters.

01:03:26.000 You can kill Iron Man.

01:03:28.000 You can kill the wrestler guy.

01:03:29.000 You can kill Gary Shandling.

01:03:31.000 Don't care.

01:03:32.000 Kill all the people.

01:03:34.000 The people.

01:03:36.000 Terrence Howard's been the best part of this whole show.

01:03:39.000 Yeah.

01:03:40.000 You got another outfit for us?

01:03:41.000 You can show yourself scrolling, by the way.

01:03:46.000 Unfortunately, that looks...

01:03:51.000 That's okay.

01:03:53.000 I am trying.

01:03:53.000 370s kind of a look, but I keep saying that.

01:03:58.000 Let me see.

01:03:59.000 I'm almost ready to blow another $4 on not Endgame, but what was before that?

01:04:05.000 Infinity Wars?

01:04:06.000 Infinity Wars?

01:04:10.000 Can you teach me to do Robert Downey Jr.?

01:04:12.000 Yeah, just...

01:04:13.000 Yeah, just...

01:04:14.000 You're going to want to put a lot of...

01:04:17.000 Just keep the air pretty much in your mouth.

01:04:21.000 The words are coming out weird.

01:04:22.000 It's coming out weird.

01:04:25.000 Is he bleeding?

01:04:27.000 Yep.

01:04:28.000 It's movie blood.

01:04:29.000 Yep.

01:04:31.000 It's movie blood.

01:04:34.000 That's pretty good.

01:04:36.000 Hey, Thor, love the whole hammer thing.

01:04:39.000 That's really cool.

01:04:40.000 Can we just push that meeting back about five, six minutes?

01:04:44.000 All right.

01:04:45.000 I have to save myself.

01:04:47.000 I put all my money on this.

01:04:48.000 I went to betdsi.com and used the promo code Gavin.

01:04:52.000 And I bet that Tony Stark is the worst dressed superhero in the history of superheroes.

01:04:56.000 I'm willing to spend another $3.99 if you were to go to Infinity Wars.

01:05:00.000 Well, I don't know if we have to go that far.

01:05:02.000 We already bought Iron Man 3.

01:05:04.000 Jesus Christ, I'm $12 in the hole now.

01:05:06.000 That's right here.

01:05:07.000 Okay, so here he is.

01:05:09.000 Donning a thing.

01:05:11.000 Alright, that's a party hat.

01:05:12.000 We'll let it go.

01:05:15.000 Is his shirt on button super low?

01:05:17.000 That's dorky.

01:05:19.000 This is where things start to ramp up.

01:05:22.000 As far as bad looks go, what was Iron Man 3?

01:05:26.000 I don't remember.

01:05:27.000 Oh, this is the one with Age of Ultron, I believe.

01:05:29.000 I'm not sure.

01:05:32.000 What's Age of Ultron again?

01:05:33.000 Oh, that's the guy with the funny.

01:05:35.000 Oh, wait, no, that's an Avengers movie.

01:05:36.000 I don't know what the hell this one is.

01:05:38.000 You can tell he's evil.

01:05:39.000 Right out of the gate.

01:05:40.000 Yeah.

01:05:41.000 It's like a Scooby-Doo episode.

01:05:42.000 You're a handsome guy dressed as a nerd.

01:05:44.000 You're obviously evil and you're going to kill everyone.

01:05:49.000 Alright, here's him trying out some robotics.

01:05:53.000 He's wearing Iron Man shit.

01:05:57.000 Oh, he's got a dumb shirt on.

01:06:02.000 Are you enjoying this folks at home watching us watch TV?

01:06:06.000 Oh, here we go.

01:06:10.000 Yeah.

01:06:11.000 Oh, few.

01:06:12.000 What kind of t-shirt is that?

01:06:14.000 It's all Olympic snowboarding gear.

01:06:18.000 Like, what is that thing?

01:06:20.000 I don't know.

01:06:20.000 You go to bed.

01:06:21.000 I come down here.

01:06:22.000 I do want to know.

01:06:24.000 Eh.

01:06:25.000 It's a skin-tight Under Armour shirt.

01:06:27.000 And then you'll have baggy pants on and, like, pumas or something.

01:06:30.000 I can't move it out.

01:06:31.000 Like a scuba diver guy.

01:06:33.000 Yeah.

01:06:33.000 Scuba diver guy.

01:06:35.000 Keep scrolling.

01:06:36.000 Okay, scrolling through.

01:06:37.000 What's the name of his butler?

01:06:39.000 Jarvis?

01:06:40.000 Jarvis?

01:06:41.000 You're my Jarvis.

01:06:43.000 Jarvis?

01:06:43.000 Um.

01:06:45.000 Can you just skip through real quick, Jarvis?

01:06:49.000 It reminds me of my Tommy Lee Jones impression.

01:06:51.000 Let's hear Tommy Lee Jones.

01:06:52.000 I'm Tommy Lee Jones.

01:06:55.000 It's like there's an active volcano.

01:06:59.000 You're not part of the Man in Black.

01:07:03.000 What do you think?

01:07:04.000 I'm kind of...

01:07:05.000 I got to be honest, I'm kind of freaking out.

01:07:06.000 That this is...

01:07:14.000 Tune in to Get Off My Lawn on Monday, where we will prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that Tony Starks is the worst dressed superhero ever.

01:07:22.000 And people go, oh, awesome.

01:07:23.000 I can't wait to tune in.

01:07:24.000 What is this shit?

01:07:27.000 Yeah.

01:07:28.000 Yeah.

01:07:29.000 You know, but his regular, you know, walking around stuff in real life looks like kapoops.

01:07:36.000 Dude, I don't remember this at all.

01:07:37.000 I might not have seen this.

01:07:38.000 I don't remember it either.

01:07:40.000 Was there a notable bad guy?

01:07:42.000 No, I remember it.

01:07:42.000 That nerd guy.

01:07:44.000 I know I sounded prescient when I predicted he was a bad guy, but I've seen the movie before.

01:07:48.000 There he is.

01:07:50.000 And he's jealous or something.

01:07:51.000 And it was sort of like in the Incredibles where we could have been a team.

01:07:55.000 You didn't have my back.

01:07:56.000 And now I have superpowers and I hurt people.

01:07:58.000 And it was glowing and shit.

01:08:00.000 I do not remember this.

01:08:01.000 Look, look at that shirt.

01:08:07.000 Aim, the American Indian movement.

01:08:08.000 Okay, this is it.

01:08:09.000 Spend another $4 and get Infinity Wars.

01:08:13.000 Infinity Wars isn't the most recent one, right?

01:08:16.000 No, that's endgame.

01:08:18.000 Okay.

01:08:18.000 So do Infinity Wars, and it's double or nothing.

01:08:22.000 We're putting all our chips on black.

01:08:25.000 James Bond seen in the movie.

01:08:27.000 I'm pushing all my chips over here.

01:08:29.000 If my point isn't made by Infinity War, I'm fucked.

01:08:34.000 You're not buying these, are you?

01:08:35.000 No, renting.

01:08:36.000 $3.99, not $10.99.

01:08:38.000 Absolutely.

01:08:39.000 100%.

01:08:40.000 I am parsimonious, as you may have noticed.

01:08:43.000 And when people don't understand that, I say, check out Scrooge McDuck.

01:08:47.000 If you see Mick in someone's name, they're cheap.

01:08:50.000 Okay, we got Starks.

01:08:53.000 Or is it just Stark?

01:08:54.000 And I'm doing what black people do.

01:08:57.000 Pluralizing names.

01:08:58.000 You're totally rambling.

01:08:59.000 No, I'm not.

01:08:59.000 You've lost me.

01:09:00.000 Look, you know how you're having a dream.

01:09:02.000 You're having a dream, right?

01:09:03.000 Oh, yes.

01:09:04.000 And then you're like, oh, my God.

01:09:05.000 Yeah.

01:09:08.000 He's got a weird sweater in July wrapped around his shape.

01:09:13.000 Wrapped around him like a shawl.

01:09:17.000 And some skin-tight orthopedic scuba suit.

01:09:22.000 It looks like something like track runners would train in.

01:09:24.000 Yeah, it's like Lululemon.

01:09:29.000 Which I think athletes wear that stuff in order to stay warm.

01:09:33.000 Like baseball players will wear it in the fall so their arm doesn't get too cold.

01:09:37.000 They want to keep the blood flowing.

01:09:39.000 You don't need it on a day-to-day basis in the summer.

01:09:42.000 That collar.

01:09:42.000 Look at that.

01:09:43.000 Wait, what happened to his shirt?

01:09:45.000 Wasn't that tied up around his neck a second ago?

01:09:47.000 She just unplugged it or whatever the hell.

01:09:48.000 She undid it.

01:09:50.000 Oh, that's the jacket that that guy got in the mail.

01:09:52.000 Yes.

01:09:53.000 now it's tied up again.

01:09:54.000 Hey, we just found a, oh, I'm sorry.

01:09:59.000 Continuity error.

01:10:00.000 Yeah.

01:10:02.000 Yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow, by the way, is going to save the world by wearing an Iron Man suit.

01:10:07.000 Hi, I'm Benedict Cumberbatch.

01:10:10.000 Hi, I'm Mark Ruffalo.

01:10:11.000 Say goodbye to your patriarchy.

01:10:13.000 Yeah, them pants are baggy, man.

01:10:16.000 Yeah, baggy pants and skin-tight tops is his trademark, which makes you look like a bell.

01:10:21.000 This is what you look like when you wear skin-tight pants and big...

01:10:28.000 Yeah, that's a bad look.

01:10:30.000 All right, keep going.

01:10:30.000 I need to be proven right.

01:10:32.000 Okay.

01:10:33.000 And this is his jacket in all its glory.

01:10:38.000 Why aren't you showing it, shithead?

01:10:40.000 Oh.

01:10:43.000 He's just watching a movie by himself.

01:10:45.000 Look at those stupid glasses.

01:10:47.000 I'm back.

01:10:48.000 I made it.

01:10:50.000 You see, you got to persevere, guys.

01:10:52.000 Trust your instincts.

01:10:54.000 Admit you're wrong when you're wrong, but make sure you're wrong.

01:10:58.000 I was not wrong.

01:11:00.000 I was almost wrong.

01:11:02.000 Now I'm feeling greedy, but I want to keep going.

01:11:05.000 Not this scene, obviously.

01:11:06.000 The Iron Man costume.

01:11:08.000 By the way, I can't remember who pointed this out, but why does the Iron Man costume have abs?

01:11:13.000 I think Howard Stern pointed that out.

01:11:15.000 Why do they have abs, Robin?

01:11:17.000 Of all people.

01:11:18.000 But it is retarded.

01:11:20.000 You have a muscular suit on?

01:11:22.000 Now I think they're just in space the rest of the movie.

01:11:24.000 It's the same as Batman's vest.

01:11:25.000 Why does Batman have abs now?

01:11:29.000 They're in space the rest of the movie?

01:11:30.000 Yeah, or some other crap.

01:11:32.000 Yeah, there's not a lot of places where he's dressed normal.

01:11:34.000 Maybe at the end when there's some sort of resolution.

01:11:36.000 Isn't this the one where there's a computer virus?

01:11:39.000 No, this is the one where there's the big purple man.

01:11:43.000 I know his name, but Thanos?

01:11:45.000 Thanos?

01:11:46.000 That's the end.

01:11:46.000 That's the most recent one.

01:11:47.000 No, he's also in Infinity War.

01:11:49.000 Because there's the one where...

01:11:53.000 Oh, I remember that part.

01:11:54.000 There's the one where he allows a computer virus to get into the mainframe and destroy Earth because it'll be best for everyone.

01:12:00.000 There's a bunch of aliens in it and stuff.

01:12:02.000 Anyway, I'm not spending any more money to make my point.

01:12:04.000 Folks, we're out of time.

01:12:05.000 Oh, wait, wait, wait.

01:12:07.000 Tony Stark Homecoming.

01:12:12.000 Okay, he's got a case of the Justin Trudeau's in Homecoming, where he dresses like Indigenous People.

01:12:22.000 Oh, really?

01:12:23.000 Yeah.

01:12:24.000 I don't understand that kind of symboism.

01:12:29.000 Oh, so he's every different race in Spider-Man.

01:12:33.000 Oh, good.

01:12:34.000 Yeah, he does this.

01:12:34.000 Wow, this was looking really bad for a while there.

01:12:39.000 There's that.

01:12:39.000 I mean, you can eat.

01:12:40.000 Oh, yeah, that's awesome.

01:12:42.000 You're only getting the shoulders and the neck, and it's still really crazy looking.

01:12:46.000 You see that, folks?

01:12:47.000 I persevered, and I won.

01:12:50.000 I was right.

01:12:50.000 I was scared.

01:12:51.000 It's sort of like running a business.

01:12:52.000 The first two years, you're not going to make any money, but you have to keep trying.

01:12:57.000 You have to believe in yourself.

01:12:59.000 You have to get fired.

01:13:00.000 You have to be brave.

01:13:03.000 You have to get fired.

01:13:06.000 Get in trouble.

01:13:07.000 You have to get fired.

01:13:08.000 You have to get in trouble.

01:13:09.000 You have to be brave.

01:13:10.000 And you have to never stop fighting.

01:13:13.000 Jarvis, take us out.

01:13:15.000 I'm cool.

01:13:15.000 I just can't take people to shop.

01:13:18.000 Like, what you screaming about?

01:13:20.000 You holding high.

01:13:21.000 Do you need to be locked?

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 30, 2019

S02E65 - TONY STARK DRESSES FUNNY

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript