This week, the boys talk about The Alabama Shakes, Victoria Secret, and the fact that women don t like to dress up for their men anymore. Also, we talk about a new kind of hottie named Allie Tate Cutler.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:05:57.000It's strange how you just, am I the only one who just cannot stop thinking about sex when you look at her?
00:06:02.000Yeah, she's like if she was a doctor and she was the nurse and she goes, okay, well, you got the test results in on that little boy and it's not looking good.
00:06:10.000I would just think, oh yeah, you're looking good.
00:06:31.000I kind of like that when the skin has an impression of stuff, almost like silly putty.
00:06:36.000Like, if a girl's been her legs have been sitting on those, you know, the train benches that they have, that they always put like a little impression on your skin.
00:06:43.000And they get up, and then they got this red grill pattern.
00:10:05.000And there's this working class bar near my house that if I get it like at 8 o'clock on a weird night like a Tuesday, then it's just other blue-collar types.
00:10:18.000Then I have a happy hour place where if I'm out of there before 5 p.m. and I just grab a beer after like 3.30 to 4.30, then that's all blue collars.
00:10:30.000So I just like, I'm like a truffle pig sniffing out blue collars because they're all cool.
00:10:37.000And even when they're left, they're like, yeah, whatever.
00:12:14.000The purse strap and the face is what women get when they're not just drunk, but drunk and ready to give someone a little who's who and what's what.
00:12:26.000And they hold onto their purse like this, and they have this kind of a face like, and they don't know they're drunk as they sit there.
00:12:33.000Sometimes their eyes are closed for just like a second too long, like, and then I just think, oh, fuck.
00:12:44.000And obviously I'm not scared of a five-foot-tall woman, but I'm scared of a five-foot-tall woman.
00:12:50.000I'd much rather just go outside and fight someone who has a problem.
00:12:52.000In fact, at the DC free speech thing, there was this journalist, and he's like, his first question is, so there was Proud Boys at Charlottesville.
00:13:00.000And I go, we're going that route, are we?
00:13:02.000And then I just, and he said, was there not?
00:13:16.000So rather than sort of circumvent the problem or flank it or have some passive aggressive article where you try to hurt me through that, let's just fight.
00:13:27.000We can go right over there and the problem is solved.
00:13:30.000And I think he got a little scared and ended the interview shortly after.
00:13:33.000But at least that's something tangible.
00:13:35.000A woman, obviously there's no violence that can possibly happen.
00:13:44.000I might be able to find on my phone of a fight with Muslims in Manchester where this kid just shows up and starts knifing one of the women in the brawl and then running away.
00:13:54.000And I'm like, I'm watching a snuff film.
00:13:58.000But anyway, so she has that face and she goes, are you Gavin?
00:15:06.000Be kind to assholes who antagonize me?
00:15:08.000Should I have been kind to that Charlottesville shithead who was fucking with me?
00:15:12.000Trying to hurt my reputation and by proxy, my children's reputation with some fucking blown-up story about three guys who were then booted from the club for daring to go.
00:16:04.000So she starts talking to me like I'm Tony Soprano.
00:16:06.000And I didn't say this, but I should have said, if I really am this El Chapo Tony Soprano guy, and I'm going to get to that in a second, why would you have the balls to talk to me?
00:16:15.000Like if it's the 80s and you're in Hell's Kitchen and there's the head of the Westies there, there's, what's his name?
00:16:20.000Not Mickey Spillane, but the next guy.
00:16:23.000You avoid him like the fucking plague or you're dead.
00:18:23.000I just said, now we're starting to do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:18:27.000And I go, oh, now I'm switching, right?
00:18:30.000From the apology, oh, well, let's, you're right, let's be kind, whatever the fuck that means.
00:18:36.000And I go, well, I think that men can tell rude jokes when they're drinking late night at a bar.
00:18:44.000If we can't do that, what do we got left?
00:18:47.000And it's not like, let's say the N-word is boo-boos.
00:18:53.000It's not like you're sitting at a bar going, I'll tell you what, if another fucking boo-boo walks in here, he's going to have some trouble.
00:20:11.000Like she's talking about how guys just want to fuck her and then dump her and how that's the way guys are.
00:20:16.000And as Joe Rogan said when she was on Joe Rogan's show, he goes, she goes, men have this cave thing where after they come, they want to go inseminate others.
00:20:41.000Could be the fact that you have the ugliest feet in the world.
00:20:44.000Could be the fact that you just admitted in your stand-up special that you have about two ounces of extra labia hanging down there that looks exactly like roast beef.
00:20:57.000The sad part is about halfway through, I'm just an old man hearing about this young lady and how lonely she is and how she's getting old and how she's never going to have kids.
00:21:06.000And you're just like, way to go, feminism.
00:21:09.000And she's just like, yeah, sometimes I let a guy fuck my face.
00:21:11.000I mean, at least it means he'll stick around.
00:22:44.000So then she goes, now I'm getting annoyed that, and she goes, it's actually kind of offensive because a lot of these trans people are getting murdered.
00:22:59.000So now a joke I don't remember from weeks ago that I said privately amongst my friends is now I'm now having to get a lecture about it in the day when I'm drinking a beer talking to my favorite bartender.
00:23:14.000And I go, I guess they are getting murdered, sure, but they're also mentally ill.
00:23:19.000A lot of them tend to be drug addicts.
00:23:20.000They're involved in shaky drug deals and hanging around other drug addicts.
00:23:40.000Like if you're around boomers and you let out a huge fart, they won't laugh.
00:23:43.000They'll just go and pretend nothing's happening.
00:23:47.000So the CVS confrontation, everyone was just like this the whole time.
00:23:50.000It was busy there, including the cashier, just going.
00:23:54.000And then at this, at this time, everyone was just drinking their beer like this, looking straight ahead, almost like a couple were having a fight.
00:24:00.000Going, I don't know if I love you anymore.
00:25:54.000So that's the kind of thing that gangsters do, but they don't have their guy.
00:25:57.000Anyway, the local car dealership that's like a mile down the road had this Jeep, whatever it's called, Buccaneer, some name like that, right?
00:26:18.000So they, instead of going up and down the highway with stop lights, stop signs everywhere, traffic lights everywhere, they turn away from the dealership and they go down by the park and they look at the water.
00:26:30.000Then they drive up and they go slow because they're new to the car and they're checking out the dials.
00:26:39.000I went to the dealership and I saw the car, this secret Proud Boy car with the fucking license plate in the front windshield and nothing on the back.
00:26:48.000And that's what the cops explained to me.
00:26:51.000So this is the only allegation she's come up with where I can even recognize it.
00:28:47.000And then you went to the cops because you thought the seven Canadians were going to follow you home, just like that spooky Rubicon that plagues the neighborhood?
00:28:58.000It's people with money and too much time on their hands.
00:29:08.000I want to talk about the war on comedy today, but I got sidetracked by her.
00:29:16.000And I said to her, too, another thing I said is, and this is probably regrettable, but because everyone could hear me, I said, the murders you're talking about with those trannies are guys, mostly blacks and Hispanics, that are killing them or beating them to death because they didn't know they were going home with a dude.
00:29:33.000And when they see the penis, they have a lot more stigma in their communities about homosexuality.
00:30:23.000Oh, this is one where she washes off her makeup and then puts on a baseball hat because she was looking at pictures of herself when she was a boy.
00:30:34.000And she has a penis still, by the way.
00:32:09.000But she's one of those lesbians that just looks like a weird boy.
00:32:13.000And then Gigi Gorgeous looks like a weird boy.
00:32:16.000So there's these two weird boys that are in a lesbian relationship wherein Gigi's penis, I assume, becomes erect and goes into Nat Getty's Vagina.
00:32:31.000And they have like the kind of sex a lesbian would have with a strap on, only the parts are real.
00:32:36.000So they're a straight couple masquerading as lesbians.
00:34:24.000So I'm like sitting looking at Nats and we're like kind of smiling at each other.
00:34:27.000But like, you know, when you're in school and like you're scared to talk because you're scared the teacher is gonna like get mad at you and tell you to be quiet.
00:34:33.000So we're literally just like holding hands underneath the desk, like looking at each other like, whoop, whoop, hook, like, when do I say?
00:35:39.000It's sort of like eating a hot dog sideways, or if you want to eat a hot dog, but you don't like that, you just cut a hole in your stomach and stick it in.
00:35:48.000Yeah, how to eat out a non-op trans woman.
00:35:57.000This is the clown world that they create for themselves, and then they run into the little roadblocks like they basically need teriology to get out of and say one times one equals two.
00:37:10.000That's how I felt even before I came out as transgender.
00:37:13.000That reminds me of that letter we got.
00:37:14.000Remember that British woman who said there's a weird animosity towards women where they're like, hey, and they showed that RuPaul or whatever it was, that video where they're like, you better get it together, girl.
00:37:30.000Like, remember that weirdo tranny kid in Vancouver who's suing all those people?
00:37:36.000And he got a chick kicked off of Twitter, Jordan Peterson's friend, co-worker, because he was like, yeah, you got your big fucking loose pussy from giving birth.
00:38:45.000Yeah, Jessica Suiette of Rebel did a really good piece on them.
00:38:51.000Yaneve, I keep saying she, but I mean Yanive, whatever, went in to go get, they said that they wouldn't serve, like a McDonald's wouldn't serve her French fries because she was trans.
00:40:04.000It's like getting a hair off a shower wall.
00:40:05.000Either it's on your person or the wall.
00:40:08.000So I don't know what's going on with these people's genitalia, but if she can give a sperm sample, and I think I also read, I think I also read that they were trying.
00:42:04.000So I thought that picture was important to show.
00:42:06.000But what they're both doing is going up to people with hidden cameras.
00:42:12.000And I actually suggested this to James O'Keefe a long time ago, where instead of, or not exclusive, instead of exclusively exposing political fraud and lies and crime and corruption, what about comedy, Project Veritas, where you just, you're annoying.
00:44:33.000And this is Zazon's first ever where she pretends she's taking a call on the train, even though she has no earpiece or anything, and then says, my friend's coming.
00:47:31.000Anyway, I want to do, just to just to re-solidify the fact that there is a war on humor and fun in this country, I want to give you 10 examples of the war on comedy and why Mark Maron is totally wrong.
00:48:01.000No, it's just we don't want you saying retard to someone with Down syndrome or yelling the N-word at a black family who are at the zoo, even though that gives you immense pleasure and everyone loves it because that's the culture we live in, a racist, bigoted, horrible hellhole.
00:48:18.000And if that is the thing that's holding you back, then you were a shitty comedian.
00:48:23.000Oh, oh, and all the other fat, ugly lesbians and loser nerd, weird trans people who are now pushed to the front with affirmative action, they belong there.
00:48:34.000And all the other people complaining, they're just whiny bitches.
00:50:00.000If you'd like to write a line, you can still write a line.
00:50:01.000If you want to take chances, you can still take chances.
00:50:03.000Really, the only thing that's off the table culturally at this juncture, and not even entirely, is shamelessly punching down for the sheer joy of hurting people, for the sheer excitement and laughter that some people get from causing people pain.
00:50:49.000As I've said before, if you're too intimidated to try to do comedy like that, you just weren't good or you're maybe just insensitive, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:56.000This is the old trope with PC culture.
00:51:12.000So I just want to acknowledge, I just want to show you 10 examples that prove unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there is a war on comedy.
00:51:21.000I think the only controversy left is, is it ruined?
00:54:50.000I heard the facial recognition software there is having some trouble.
00:54:55.000Anyway, they spend the rest of the episode, basically, talking about that joke and should they leave it in and the controversy it would cause.
00:55:03.000And they both agree that in today's culture, you can't make stupid throwaway jokes without being pilloried, without being crucified.
00:55:11.000So that's Ricky Gervais agreeing that PC culture is out of control.
00:56:04.000I don't know if you recall this, but Berkeley canceled his talk.
00:56:10.000I can't remember if it went through, but there was massive protests trying to prevent him from talking at Berkeley because of Islamophobia.
00:56:18.000Bill Maher, the liberal, is too intolerant.
00:56:22.000And you know what the horrible thing that Bill Maher said?
00:56:25.000After there was a bomb attack, he said, turns out the attacker was, oh, no, no, sorry.
00:56:29.000This was the attack in Ottawa, Canada, where a Muslim stabbed, shot a man.
00:56:34.000Remember the guy, Nathos, Corporal Cirrillo, I think his name was?
00:56:38.000And he was guarding the tomb of the unknown soldier in a kilt, and a Muslim came up and shot him dead.
00:56:45.000And Bill Maher said, turns out the attacker was Islamic.
00:58:30.000Yeah, you shouldn't watch his special.
00:58:32.000You can definitely skip Chappelle's new Netflix special, which I watched, and I would argue it's politically correct, meaning in the most literal sense of the word, it's politically safe.
00:58:43.000But he says things like, I can't stop making fun of Trannies.
00:58:48.000And then at the end, there's a QA, and he talks about a white woman that left one of his practice sets for the special at the Punchline Comedy Club in San Francisco.
00:58:57.000And she says, as she's walking out, he goes, what's the problem?
01:00:15.000Well, there's Robert Downey Jr., but before that, that was Billy Crystal in Blackface.
01:00:19.000But even more than the Billy Crystal in Blackface, when Sarah was wearing that, she was doing a parody of a totally ignorant bitch.
01:00:29.000She couldn't have been more clearly mocking racism.
01:00:33.000It was a sketch where she wanted to experience what black people go through, so she put on the most clownish makeup possible, and her character assumed that made her black.
01:00:47.000The fact that a joke that simple has to be explained should show shitheads like Mark Maron that there is a war on comedy, and it's not saying just don't kick paraplegics in the head.
01:01:10.000Is there a better example of the war on comedy than a comedian having to pay $42,000 for a joke?
01:01:19.000The joke, by the way, was there was this kid, a Make a Wish Foundation, and he thought that that, isn't that, this is a joke, isn't that a thing you do right before you die?
01:01:27.000It's like, my last wish before I die is I want to become Batman.
01:02:08.000Yeah, we're not having a good, or it's like when someone gets married, you have a huge wedding, then they get divorced and a year later they have a new wedding in like Hawaii to the new girl and you go, yeah, I'm not going.
01:02:21.000Number 10, and this is very relevant, number 10, because I've only been doing super duper famous people up until now that are reiterating the unavoidable truth that there is a war on comedy.
01:02:34.000But that's just to make my point to the people like Marin.
01:02:37.000What I'm not including or I haven't included up to now is all the people you haven't heard of.
01:02:42.000The thousands of comics and people in funny land who have been shat on and kicked out and rejected for trivial matters.
01:02:53.000For example, you've never heard of Guy Earle?
01:02:57.000He just paid $15,000 for a tirade of ugly words.
01:03:01.000The National Post is a very PC paper, which is why they're talking like, did I just say peeper?
01:04:02.000When he said, yeah, he said, is there a school around here in Japan during the horrible tsunami where buildings were floating down the street?
01:04:10.000And he goes, no, there isn't, but if you stick around, there'll be one soon.
01:04:57.000This is, so earlier, someone was complaining About woke culture ruining comedy.
01:05:03.000And this woman said, trans woman, by the way, so a dude, a fat, ugly, stupid nerd with giant tits, said, no, no, no, there's nothing wrong.
01:05:12.000In fact, I win all these awards every year for my amazing comedy.
01:05:16.000Now, when I heard that, I thought, really?
01:05:18.000I thought that all comedy these days is just Trump sucks, Trump sucks, Trump sucks.
01:05:23.000Let's go check out this trans person who used affirmative action to get on stage and see if she belongs there.
01:06:14.000That's what the war on comedy has wrought.
01:06:17.000We've pushed the funny people out of the way and let fat, trans, ugly, lesbian nerds, whatever the fuck that thing was, take over the show and say Trump is a bigot.
01:06:27.000He's a robot that randomly generates bigotry.
01:06:31.000To end this discussion and this point, I would like to present Exhibit Numero Uno.
01:06:38.000Here is bona fide truth that comedy is dead in America.
01:08:10.000You know, my daughter was kind of bummed this weekend because her friend was having a sleepover, but she didn't invite her.
01:08:16.000And the reason was the friend hadn't seen this friend she grew up with in like a year or a long time, and they wanted just to be alone and have a sleepover together to rebond or something.
01:08:30.000And so, you know, my wife was saying to my daughter, that's perfectly normal.
01:08:55.000So if you're pissed off, that's valid.
01:09:00.000Like say your husband has to go away on a business trip and he's gone for 10 days and it's going to make you guys tons of money and it's good for his job, but you're stuck with the kids for 10 days.
01:11:17.000I know I'm doing what the left does to Obama, but I scrap that analogy.
01:11:22.000Of course he wasn't like Jesus Christ.
01:11:24.000But there's some people, and it's very rare, very rare, and celebrities, nah, where you're around them and you're just like, this feels special.
01:11:35.000like, when you're with a baby and their breath smells so good, and the top of their head smells so good, and you just think, This thing is magical.
01:11:43.000And when you're with Andrew Breitbart, there's no like it's trivializing to say it's never boring, but that's all I can think of.
01:11:53.000You just felt like I'm with a tour de force.
01:12:19.000Oh, it's a touch-sensitive keyboard, so just very lightly touch and then off to the races.
01:12:26.000How important it is to fight this fight and win this fight and not let them destroy comedy, not let them destroy art, not let them destroy free speech, not let them destroy all of our freedoms, not let them destroy our country.
01:12:39.000So when someone provokes you like that and says, I'm going to cancel you, the solution is not to cower.
01:12:45.000The solution is to pick up your sword and to run into battle.
01:12:49.000And sometimes it takes a legend like Andrew to remind you of that.
01:12:55.000All the people that have gone out there against the mainstream media and said, you're going to call us racist, you're going to call us potential Timothy McVeighs.
01:13:22.000All the people that have gone out there against the mainstream media and said, you're going to call us racist, you're going to call us potential Timothy McVays.
01:14:06.000Fun, stupidity, hilarity, Rotten Danger Field in Caddy Shack, junk food, being an asshole, being a douche, being ridiculous, being offensive, being dangerous.
01:14:21.000They're going against all of those things in the name of being sensitive and not oppressing, not punching down.