S02E87 - OFF THE CUFF MONDAY
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 15 minutes
Words per Minute
171.56209
Summary
In this episode, the boys talk about their weekends, a woman who almost died from a balding problem, and the weirdest thing they've ever heard. They also talk about a new segment called "Gavin's Mailbag" where they answer listener mail questions.
Transcript
00:00:40.000
you fix the monitor and the thingamadoodle here?
00:00:43.000
That was Ings she's from Seattle She plays sweet licks and everyone loves them.
00:00:50.000
I listen to KEXP a lot, Hipster Station that's out of Seattle.
00:00:54.000
So I end up with a disproportionate interest, knowledge of Seattle rock.
00:01:03.000
I was stretching in bed the other night, and I went, and my hand sort of touched my hair, and four hairs got stuck between my hand and the headboard.
00:01:17.000
As I pulled away, I heard them go, and I said to my father, oh, no, I just lost four crucial hairs in an area where I don't want to be losing them.
00:01:35.000
And she goes, well, I mean, I go, do you not want me to go bald?
00:01:46.000
It's through thick and through thin, life and death, bald and hair.
00:02:02.000
But then she sensed that I was kind of weirded out.
00:02:05.000
And then she goes, well, do you want me to go bald?
00:02:26.000
um we're gonna try a new thing today folks we have no agenda no notes no nothing this is going to be more like the podcast our old podcast that the fans are complaining that the new the podcast has just become a way to sell free speech.tv yeah I'm sorry your free shit isn't coming at you the way you want it to I'm sorry this free benefit concert isn't up your alley you guys pay so if we're going to have a fun off-the-cuff hang sesh it should be with you guys not a bunch
00:02:58.000
I woke up with a bad feeling that I'm going to get sued.
00:03:02.000
Which is one of the reasons I'm so cheap, by the way.
00:03:07.000
I like to have a buffer, a nest egg, for emergencies.
00:03:22.000
If I did use that epithet, I would have used it with an A. Not a hardy R. Hardy R. Hardy R. And being good at it, if you will.
00:03:45.000
But some German guy goes, yeah, you didn't invent the video drops.
00:03:48.000
That was in a popular German show I used to watch as a kid.
00:03:51.000
And then he showed me this thing that was just the Jesse Waters thing where you're showing a normal show and then you jump in with all these edited things.
00:03:58.000
He's doing Fred drops like on Howard Stern where it's just like when we're talking about farts.
00:04:31.000
So let's begin the show with just rapping about our weekend, bro.
00:04:38.000
So Robin here is likely incapable of competing with Batman.
00:04:52.000
I used to hate her, but I listen to Howard Stern in the car every day, and she really glues the show together.
00:05:07.000
Her dad married her mom, said she's the ugliest woman I ever met.
00:05:14.000
But the weird thing is her black radicalization.
00:05:19.000
She claims it was because she had this friend, and then she was at a party, and the friend acted like she didn't know her, a white friend.
00:05:31.000
Ooh, I should put that little mouse next to Pee Wee.
00:05:51.000
I saw a really good show speaking of Farrakhan.
00:05:55.000
Farrakhan's a prophet that I think you ought to listen to.
00:06:00.000
Imagine you had a white country song going, Richard Spencer is a guy that I think you ought to listen to.
00:06:08.000
Professor Griff, of Public Enemy, has the same politics as Richard Spencer.
00:06:14.000
He doesn't want it government sanctified, but he wants blacks to have their own...
00:06:19.000
Actually, Richard Spencer wants blacks out of the country entirely.
00:06:21.000
But Professor Griff says, all right, that's not going to happen, but let's do like...
00:06:29.000
North Carolina South Carolina like he wants to choose about six states that's how they move too how does that work with the mulattoes and the mixed race couples?
00:06:43.000
I don't know, but what's going on with your camera?
00:06:48.000
I haven't said anything like I haven't said enough for me to warrant.
00:06:52.000
The framing of your camera is taking up, is showing too much of my self.
00:07:10.000
But I had a cigar yesterday at the local place, and they were watching this show, and I thought it was a movie.
00:07:17.000
All the guys from all the gangster movies are in it.
00:07:20.000
It's called Godfather of Harlem, and it's really good.
00:07:52.000
We were talking about this right before the Nesh thing.
00:07:59.000
How you have to go from TV stuff to just all these different subscriptions.
00:08:05.000
Well, you have your, it's almost like your bands.
00:08:07.000
Like you have your, you should probably have like three or four.
00:08:14.000
That's why I like to keep the show down to an hour because you shouldn't be watching more than an hour of the G a day.
00:08:19.000
Yeah, you got to go out there and do something.
00:08:23.000
That's what I've been trying to get away from my phone.
00:08:49.000
Dude, now I have to get a bullet out of that pig if I'm going to have a selling.
00:09:00.000
Just because you come from Sugar Hill, think you can play me.
00:09:09.000
More heroin comes out of these Project Towers than any other place in Harlem.
00:09:19.000
That is, it's so good that you're watching it going, I looked over my wife and I went, this is awesome.
00:09:29.000
It's about these contractors who are pissed that the new president isn't hiring them to go overseas.
00:09:38.000
It's basically Blackwater pissed at the president.
00:10:08.000
Isn't it funny how black actors can be disfigured and still famous?
00:10:22.000
If you were his doctor and he was in there going, how is it, Doc?
00:10:26.000
And the doctor would have to say, you're never going to act again.
00:10:32.000
And he's like, no, I think I'll have my own show about being a gangster in Harlem.
00:10:36.000
And then I was watching this movie, looking at fucking Morgan Spurlock's face, Morgan Freeman, and he...
00:10:53.000
He's been shot in the face with raisin buckshot.
00:11:08.000
And there's a scene at the end where he's like...
00:11:15.000
Okay, I won't say it the context, but there's a scene towards the end where you see his face super close up and you're like, Jesus Christ.
00:11:22.000
Is there Land Rover from Mars about to walk over that fucking thing?
00:11:32.000
It's hard to tell without resolution, but it seems normal.
00:11:34.000
Dude, he's got a handful of raisins glued to his face.
00:11:42.000
Yeah, there's a couple raisins on there starting.
00:11:51.000
You can tell how long the winter's going to be.
00:11:53.000
Two scoops of raisins in the package of Morgan Freeman's face.
00:11:56.000
Based on the shadow of his moles, you can tell if we're going to get another month of winter or not.
00:12:01.000
You can tell if we're going to get another boring movie.
00:12:04.000
His eyes just turned blue, or does he have blue eyes?
00:12:19.000
Who married his granddaughter as her granddaughter's friend?
00:12:26.000
Part of a cult thing, some sort of seance or something.
00:12:33.000
See, that's what happens when the show is just an amorphous blob.
00:12:52.000
So these guys that he's up against are the best in the world.
00:12:55.000
They're ex-Green Berets, ex-Marines, ex-military.
00:13:18.000
He stumped in, ran, and jumped off a trampoline.
00:13:29.000
And it's not like there's this one crazy climax.
00:13:37.000
It's kind of a great idea because this is the hook.
00:13:41.000
You're like, yeah, you're going to see the rest.
00:13:45.000
You're going to wash these fucking raisins off your face.
00:13:57.000
Of course, Jada Pinkett Smith, the small black woman, is the genius who solves everything.
00:14:02.000
Now, you're going to be mad, but I bought another video game.
00:14:09.000
I can't even hear the word it without seeing Gary Cole.
00:14:16.000
Like, well, if the capital gains tax is 20%, then maybe we should put the rest in real estate, and that will really do it.
00:14:33.000
I want to take a solding iron or some liquid nitrogen and just like, zap him off.
00:14:50.000
Lawrence Fishburne, but the guy we just saw, Forrest Whitaker.
00:15:11.000
We always joke because Nick Nolty's such a drunk that he doesn't know he's in a movie.
00:15:16.000
And when the bad guy is punching him, he's like, the guy who was at the catering truck just punched me really hard.
00:15:24.000
He was super nice to me at lunch, and then he grabbed me and threw me down.
00:15:34.000
The area of Tropic Thunder when they were shooting.
00:15:40.000
Nick Nolte was in his trailer, and he was so fucking wasted that he shit his pants.
00:15:57.000
So when the PA went to get him for a scene, he was there with duct tape and a garbage bag making pants.
00:16:09.000
He had Force Whitaker eyes worth of pant legs with duct tape and a contractor bag as he was fashioning what could have been kind of sexy, almost black leather pants to wear because his had shit all over them.
00:16:24.000
He's probably done it so often he's good at making garbage pants.
00:16:27.000
Yeah, well, that's the role he played too in the movie.
00:16:29.000
I don't think he knew when they were rolling and when they were not.
00:16:39.000
You don't just show the picture and not play anything.
00:16:42.000
Couldn't find a Dixie coon skin with a high hooker holding your prick and showing you the way.
00:17:04.000
It's like a Cougar, but for men who like Steve Coogan.
00:17:18.000
I felt kind of bad because it was so heavily marketing and not just shooting the shit.
00:17:26.000
We do a show that is from the desk like this, meant for YouTube, and it's pre-produced.
00:17:36.000
And then we just put it to YouTube instead of putting the live show.
00:17:41.000
Yeah, your idea involves me doing an extra 25% work.
00:17:46.000
going to be mostly just cutting the clips perfectly.
00:17:48.000
And so it's going to be you just kind of Any is so Friday was Milo's show.
00:18:08.000
My son, there's a thing with kids that are like 10 or 11, actually all kids, but it gets better at 10 or 11.
00:18:14.000
It still exists at 6 and it still exists in the teens where they don't want to wear a jacket.
00:18:19.000
No one tells you what you're signing up for when you become a parent.
00:18:22.000
I assumed the trouble would be like fights, bullies, I don't know, grades.
00:18:34.000
50% of your job as a father is getting the screens away and monitoring screen time and making sure that there's no porn.
00:18:41.000
Everything is parent protected on all the devices.
00:18:47.000
They're playing Minecraft if they are in their allotted screen time.
00:18:52.000
And then another huge part of it is pushing jackets like you're a fucking crack dealer.
00:19:05.000
I'd catch him sneaking out in his shorts in the winter.
00:19:09.000
And I just said last week, I went, you know what?
00:19:16.000
I read that book, That Which Does Not Kill Us, about Wynn Hoff and cold training.
00:19:22.000
And if you can get it, look how fat I am these days.
00:19:28.000
If you can produce more brown Fat and learn to breathe in the cold.
00:19:33.000
So I thought, best case scenario, you learn how to survive the cold better than others.
00:19:44.000
I do this thing called Kids' Day, where you do whatever the fuck you want, eat whatever you want.
00:19:50.000
And they would always just watch TV, stay up till four.
00:19:53.000
They'd watch TV for like 20 of the 24 hours, eat junk food, get super sick, and the next day they were just devastated.
00:20:03.000
So with my middle kid, I just said, fine, go nuts, buddy.
00:20:08.000
And he went out in 30-degree weather with just shorts on and a sweatshirt.
00:20:28.000
And then today I hear him, and he's in the car and he's about to puke.
00:20:35.000
And I go, I go over to his bed this morning and he's going, oh, it's a rash on his face because your body's cooking the virus, right?
00:20:49.000
And the virus will have side effects, like little bumps all over your face.
00:20:53.000
So I go, I hate to tell you, dude, but this was the setup.
00:21:21.000
So now the rule is, if it's below 40, then you have to wear...
00:21:44.000
And then, um, but why do people say you can get a cold from the temperature being low?
00:21:49.000
Everybody tells me it's a myth, but I think you get a cold when you're in the cold.
00:21:58.000
And by the way, hanging out with you so much was giving me this thirst for knowledge because I felt like I was playing golf with a toddler.
00:22:06.000
And I realized that I had an IQ deficit hanging out with you.
00:22:11.000
And so last night I started reading all these intellectual books and it refurbished my IQ.
00:22:17.000
And it reminded me of when my wife was pregnant, she'd have a craving.
00:22:22.000
And she would just go, I don't know why, but and I would say, follow the craving, follow the craving.
00:22:31.000
Like I could barely lift the garbage bag with the grapefruit husks.
00:22:35.000
And we researched later and discovered that our daughter in her was going through the part of the development that was the brain.
00:22:48.000
So the body sent out a craving and said, get citric acid.
00:22:53.000
When I hang out with Detective Shitty, the brain says, you have an IQ deficit.
00:22:59.000
Go read Gulag Archipelago and Google Archipelago.
00:23:05.000
So Gulag Archipelago is by this Russian author, Shenzitsyn or something, and it's sort of like...
00:23:16.000
And it's just him, first-hand accounts of being on the Russian Gulag in the re-education camps.
00:23:22.000
And then Michael Rechtenwald is that anti-NYC, anti-PC NYU professor who was fired for being an anti-PC NYU professor, even though the guy was basically a communist, but he was a rational leftist, and that's not good enough for academia these days.
00:23:46.000
First of all, if you're reading fiction, fiction is for fags, you have to follow the arc of the stories.
00:24:00.000
If the chapter's boring, like he's got this chapter, Google Marxism.
00:24:06.000
And I wanted to jump up to people who have been deplatformed.
00:24:27.000
I think school really fucked us when it comes to reading books.
00:24:32.000
Because, yeah, I always shame myself to go back.
00:24:43.000
You don't have to become an expert on everything you read.
00:24:50.000
I think the secret to getting you back into books is to treat them as records.
00:24:54.000
If you're not liking that, put that away and go put on a new album.
00:25:00.000
Next to my desk downstairs, I've got like 50 books.
00:25:06.000
In my living room, I have about four books at all times.
00:25:13.000
Sometimes I'll have a book that I barely dip into.
00:25:18.000
Some books I never really finish because by the time I'm near the end, I forgot that other part.
00:25:23.000
I'm looking up all the books that I've read before.
00:25:28.000
The Elegant Universe is a theoretical physics book by Brian Greene.
00:25:31.000
The pig that wants to be eaten is a, All right, that's enough, Ryan.
00:25:40.000
This is like when you showed us what music you like for 20 minutes.
00:25:47.000
It's called Natural History of the Senses, all about...
00:25:59.000
Speaking of leaping all over the place, that will lead me to Sunday, where we had Dinesh D'Souza and Arthur D'Souza Michael Shermer gave me his book.
00:26:10.000
He's an atheist, and it's all about how science has.
00:26:17.000
Before you go too far, the cold weather thing is.
00:26:24.000
Your problem is that you're thinking of cold, the disease, and cold, the temperature.
00:26:33.000
When you get cold, your immune system is worse at its job because you're vulnerable.
00:26:40.000
You're busy taking care of trying to warm up your body.
00:26:49.000
You're more likely to get a cold from lack of sleep.
00:26:52.000
Anything that or hungover, anything that leaves you vulnerable leaves you prey to bacteria, and that includes getting cold.
00:27:01.000
You catch a cold from having a distracted immune system.
00:27:06.000
And also, the viruses that cause cold spread more easily in lower temperatures.
00:27:14.000
Maybe they spread more easily because more people have them because their immune systems suck.
00:27:38.000
But while him and Dinesh were having this debate, and we just covered all the basics, I kind of regret not going with my gut instinct, which was, was it?
00:27:54.000
You sit down, you had a beer, and you're just like, all right, I'm just going to chill.
00:27:58.000
And basically, your brain wants you to read People Magazine and look at their outfits.
00:28:03.000
And then you pick up the moral arc, and you're like, Jesus, what's the subhead say?
00:28:10.000
How science and reason led humanity towards truth, justice, and freedom.
00:28:17.000
Dinesh disagreed with him on that, by the way, and said it was God.
00:28:22.000
But my first instinct was to say, what conspiracy theories are real?
00:28:30.000
And you go, Gavin, why don't you go with your first instinct?
00:28:34.000
With Gina Belafonte and Ann Coulter, I realized after the talk that I should have said, let's talk about sex.
00:28:40.000
Because Anne has some great theories about how Me Too and all this sort of fear of being a predator makes sex and dating worse.
00:28:48.000
And Gina Belafonte has a 23-year-old daughter who's going through this right now.
00:28:54.000
And then with Cornell West and Candace Owens, I said, I'm not making that same mistake.
00:28:59.000
Hey, we have a black activist and a black philosopher, I guess I'd call you, Candace.
00:29:07.000
And, you know, slavery comes up a lot with you two when you're discussing things, segregation.
00:29:11.000
So I think the first question is going to be what everyone thinks it'll be is, what about sex?
00:29:17.000
And I thought that would be a funny way to introduce the show.
00:29:26.000
It led into a very good discussion about consent.
00:29:31.000
It was a great yesterday's episode or whenever it was.
00:29:46.000
All I could do is look at my audio levels, and I can't look at what's going on, and I was loving it.
00:29:55.000
I just thought we said gay marriage, we said abortion, we said trans, and each side had the answer you'd think they'd have.
00:30:02.000
Well, I just thought they were just so articulate with what they were saying.
00:30:06.000
You could hear the same thing being said with a less economy of words and a poorer economy of words, and it kind of doesn't have the same impact.
00:30:15.000
I also felt for a bit there, I felt like Robin Big, Rob Drydeck, who pays a big black guy to be his friend.
00:30:22.000
I was like, I paid money to hang out with intellectuals.
00:30:26.000
So now it's three intellectuals, Dinesh, Michael, and me.
00:30:39.000
Good thing I was behind the bar in an apron, so I didn't act like it was the three amigos.
00:30:47.000
One thing that kind of bothered me is when I Michael Shermer, it's not even that hard.
00:31:00.000
I think of Arthur Herman, who's the guy who wrote How the Scots Invented the Modern World.
00:31:05.000
But anyway, he was talking about society and what its basic needs should be.
00:31:13.000
And we said, what about Michael brought up, you know, the poor black kid who grew up without a father, born to a drug-addicted mother in the hood, no prospects.
00:31:25.000
He's not going to pull himself up by his boot shops.
00:31:29.000
And then later I was saying, well, yeah, that's the beauty of a strong border.
00:31:35.000
Now there's burger flipping jobs in California for that black boy that you just talked about.
00:31:41.000
Now there's all kinds of retail and fast food shit for that kid to get started, to work his way up, to get his own independence, to give him self-esteem.
00:31:52.000
And he said, oh, I think we're pretty good on immigration.
00:31:56.000
We're sort of in between, you know, we're not as strict as Japan, but we're not as open as.
00:32:04.000
And I think that was a mistake on his part because there's no one with more open borders than America.
00:32:09.000
There's no one more, come on in, than America, to a fault.
00:32:14.000
Could you imagine Mexicans being replaced with another mass immigration and then their jobs are being taken for even less money?
00:32:32.000
Mexico has a huge problem with illegal immigrants from the worst Central American countries.
00:32:42.000
American Mexicans get taken over by Guatemalan?
00:32:46.000
But in Mexico, they have a major problem with illegal immigration, and what they do is they throw all their illegals into a bus and they take them back over the border.
00:32:54.000
The Caribbean, you turn on public access TV in the Caribbean, Jamaica, all these countries, Barbados, and all they're talking about is illegals from the other islands coming in.
00:33:06.000
We're the only ones who aren't allowed to discuss it.
00:33:10.000
Any his, let me go back now, leaping all over the place.
00:33:28.000
So Enrique Tario from the chairman of Proud Boys was supposed to be there, but he, Roger Stone got all his verdict and everything too late.
00:33:36.000
Oh, we haven't even talked about Roger Stone, right?
00:33:52.000
I remember the new because we wanted to get it out before.
00:33:56.000
Oh, that's another video we got to put up is your commercial.
00:34:05.000
I want to record a bunch of stuff for Christmas, too.
00:34:20.000
One, I want to is to have Milo and I go to a mechanic's garage.
00:34:25.000
I know of a guy in Maryland who's on a lot of car shows.
00:34:30.000
And he could show Milo and I, and I act like the big tough alpha male, but I'm a pussy too.
00:34:43.000
No, we'll have a competition to see who can change a tire fastest.
00:34:46.000
And then the other competition, or not, not the other competition.
00:34:51.000
Then we'll learn what, like if your car just goes, off some quick fixes you can have, something you should always bring.
00:35:02.000
Then maybe we could do, I want to do four shows.
00:35:07.000
You know, like for example, you know that glue you can get when you get a flat tire and you put it in the car and you go pss, and then the glue seals the hole and then the aerosol from the can fills up the tire again.
00:35:20.000
But no, now you just glued your tire to your rim and it's a fucking bitch to get off.
00:35:29.000
I'm also a big proponent of driving on the rims.
00:35:32.000
You get a flat, you're in New York City, you're probably going to be near a garage.
00:35:46.000
We should probably also watch a Christmas show.
00:35:49.000
If we watch a Christmas movie and we pause it and comment on it, it could take up a few episodes.
00:36:06.000
So yeah, so Friday we recorded the Roger Stone thing.
00:36:08.000
I sent it to Roger right away without thinking.
00:36:15.000
So I'll say things like, my dog's a retard in front of someone with Down syndrome.
00:36:23.000
He got caught cheating on his wife like a fucking idiot.
00:36:26.000
And then there'll be a guy who just got back with his wife after being caught cheating.
00:36:30.000
And I will have said that right in front of him.
00:36:35.000
So you sent him the video where you said he's going to die in prison.
00:36:38.000
Thank you for knowing where I'm going with that.
00:36:41.000
Yeah, I sent him a video and I was like, he's not going to survive.
00:36:44.000
Meanwhile, he just got the news hours ago that he's been found guilty.
00:36:49.000
And then I sent him a video, hey, dude, you're going to fucking die.
00:36:56.000
At least I got my friends to make me feel better.
00:37:02.000
And they'll tell me, you're not going to die, dude.
00:37:26.000
He gets three years, but it doesn't start until what would be January, February, March.
00:37:42.000
When you get the sentence, but then you go to jail afterwards.
00:37:45.000
There's some time between when you go to jail and sentence.
00:37:59.000
And, of course, this is still hundreds of thousands of dollars.
00:38:02.000
So sometimes you're like, can I just go to fucking prison?
00:38:09.000
So May he goes and he gets Pensacola is one of the few prisons that's still minimum security.
00:38:20.000
They tend to be all maximum security these days, but there are still a smattering of the ones where there's no gate.
00:38:32.000
You'll be in big shit because you escaped from prison.
00:38:34.000
It's the same as if you scaled a fence, but there's no fence.
00:39:00.000
And then, so that's May, June, July, August, September, October, November.
00:39:04.000
Seven months, Trump pardons him in December a year from now.
00:39:13.000
That's the best case scenario, I say, which isn't great.
00:39:31.000
She had a falling out with Megan McCain, but she just wrote a book about things that men want to say to women but can't.
00:39:50.000
Look at my face, or while I'm talking about the book, why aren't you pulling up the book?
00:40:00.000
Don't worry about finding the visuals when you're talking.
00:40:02.000
You can't scratch your belly and scratch your head at the same time.
00:40:06.000
But sometimes, sometimes you want to not see my face and see that, well, why are we looking at your face when you want to?
00:40:13.000
Anyway, so she had a falling out with Megan McCain.
00:40:14.000
She wrote a book about how men should be men and women should be women, correct?
00:40:17.000
Yeah, she went to Megan McCain's wedding and then she said some stuff.
00:40:20.000
And Megan McCain was like, you were at my wedding.
00:40:29.000
A lot of, you know, colorful convo, a lot of shots.
00:40:38.000
He poured the moonshine shot into the champagne, and Joe's like, anybody want to take this?
00:41:14.000
Fully, the high-res version, not the live stream.
00:41:24.000
And then Saturday, I had nothing to do with this.
00:41:26.000
Latinos for Trump had a press conference for Max and John, the proud boys who were in prison for four years, who I believe are filing an appeal as we speak.
00:41:40.000
Now, the next events I'm about to tell you could hurt the appeal or could help the appeal.
00:41:48.000
I get nervous about all this kind of stuff, but whatever.
00:41:52.000
So they had a rally in front of Trump Tower that was more just to talk to the press and to get press about Max and John.
00:42:00.000
Because I think a lot of judges like Mark Dwyer and the prosecutor Steinglass, they like to just sort of flex their muscles, show off to Cuomo, put men in cages, and then disappear.
00:42:30.000
I think the post is sometimes less sympathetic than the daily news.
00:42:35.000
The post before, the picture before was women, Enrique Tario, a big Trump flag, and it said Latinos for Trump.
00:42:48.000
You'll notice when you see a lot of these articles, you look up the author, and it's a child.
00:43:03.000
So they probably said, yeah, can you change the image?
00:43:07.000
We shouldn't give Latinas for Trump a platform.
00:43:15.000
We have babysitters telling us what's happening in New York City in the post.
00:43:19.000
So basically, like they went there to do a thing, and then the Antifa came out.
00:43:23.000
They were like, you look up their resume, and it's like, graduated in 2018 from NYU.
00:43:43.000
What was that picture of him and that guy with a baby?
00:43:56.000
I graduated from NYU in 2018, got married in 2019, and then adopted a baby.
00:44:01.000
I'm one year out of college and I have a husband and a baby.
00:44:09.000
It was a cool picture before, too, because it had the big-breasted Latina, Latinas for Trump.
00:44:14.000
And they did it for publicity, and they got it.
00:44:38.000
Although, showing Antifa and that other thing is still millennial bias.
00:44:45.000
The New York Post is supposed to be the blue-collar paper.
00:44:48.000
That's like what plumbers and construction guys read.
00:44:56.000
That's a big guy with a sombrero on her red t-shirt with her huge tits.
00:45:01.000
And there's Enrique Tario, and they're talking about political persecution.
00:45:05.000
So Enrique set up that rally for that picture, for this article.
00:45:11.000
Then that night, somebody could have conceivably been Antifa, but somebody put up banners all over the city.
00:45:31.000
Like one of them had Max Hare smirking, and it said smirking in the face of tyranny.
00:45:42.000
Yeah, no surrender, no retreat, which the press is listing as Nazi slogans.
00:45:58.000
That's the coolest one, though, that one you just showed.
00:46:00.000
It has Max Hare in court, and it says smirking in the face of tyranny.
00:46:08.000
Yeah, is the judge going to go, fuck you, when he sees all these flyers?
00:46:11.000
Or is he going to go, shit, this is not happening in a vacuum?
00:46:16.000
I better be fair or I'll be known as a corrupt judge.
00:46:19.000
Now, the most controversial one, Andrew Colminko's Frito.
00:46:28.000
It was one in a Jewish neighborhood, the Hasidic Jews.
00:46:32.000
They keep calling it an Orthodox Jew neighborhood.
00:46:37.000
And it said, Mark Dwyer, pedophiles, X, Proud Patriots, check mark.
00:46:46.000
And it was lampooning the judge, Mark Dwyer, for giving a pedophile three months.
00:46:54.000
There was this serial pedophile rabbi who was molesting eight-year-old boys.
00:47:07.000
And there was some problem with the evidence or some, they got great lawyers to point out a flaw in the trial.
00:47:12.000
And he ended up, he'd already been in jail for nine months.
00:47:19.000
Meaning, with time served, he only had three more months.
00:48:04.000
Oh, I just found another Prowboy is going to three years in prison.
00:48:08.000
Tommy Trigger Tommy, who pulled a knife on those Antifa, who had him cornered.
00:48:24.000
Well, you can't huff and puff after you just suggested me to find something.
00:48:31.000
At least give me a second to either get it right or fuck it up.
00:48:36.000
Now, you'll notice that there's a slight bias with...
00:48:43.000
So they've added their three arrows, which was the paramilitary wing of the Communist Party, Socialist Party.
00:48:53.000
But I think it's funny that they use that symbol because they are the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
00:48:58.000
Anyway, this, so it says Mark Dwyer, pedophiles Czech, Patriots X. This was portrayed by the left as anti-Semitic because it's in a Hasidic neighborhood.
00:49:10.000
The pedophile priest lives in that neighborhood.
00:49:14.000
So if it was a pedophile Catholic priest that Mark Dwyer got rid of, they'd put it near the Catholic church that the pedophile was associated with.
00:49:25.000
You can't criticize Jews even if they're serial rapists.
00:49:30.000
So yeah, they said that the Proud Boys were perpetuating a stereotype.
00:49:34.000
Now, I've heard people conjecture that it was Antifa who did that to try to make Proud Boys look bad and fuck up their appeal.
00:49:42.000
I don't think it was New York City because they didn't go to the rally and they went to visit Max.
00:49:59.000
While we were holding signs in DC, the Shortel Steakout King signs, I felt such like a loser.
00:50:16.000
0.01% of the population disagrees with you, dude.
00:50:25.000
And he's like, sorry, can't play with the kids today.
00:50:28.000
I have to carry a sign that says I'm not a racist.
00:50:32.000
The short tail sign's very cool, but still the idea of holding a sign, like, look at this.
00:50:40.000
Anyway, so my story is, I'm sitting around Saturday, and I figure I'm going to go to Sacred, the Church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, which is a church in Hell's Kitchen, which is near where my Knights of Columbus chapter is.
00:51:06.000
And the Westies, the gangsters in the 80s, they would go there.
00:51:12.000
There'd be no, it was a place where they would come together.
00:51:15.000
And there was no violence at Church of the Sacred Heart.
00:51:17.000
And then Mickey Spillane, the seminal Westies gangster who basically started the Irish Mafia, or at least put it on the map, he married some chick there.
00:51:29.000
And she was the daughter of a prominent New York politician, basically Andrew Cuomo's daughter.
00:51:36.000
And they merged together the criminal world and the political world.
00:51:51.000
There was some Puerto Rican woman who was her 50th birthday.
00:52:07.000
And so they were all going to a birthday party, and I saw the sermon.
00:52:10.000
The priest was pretty good, Puerto Rican guy, thick accent, but he did a good job.
00:52:16.000
Before we abandon these banners, De Blasio and Cuomo had a heart attack.
00:52:27.000
So Cuomo released a statement about the banners.
00:52:41.000
I mean, and it's funny that he's all about equality.
00:52:50.000
He ran against Ed Koch, and his motto was vote for Cuomo, not the homo.
00:52:54.000
And now Andrew Cuomo's Twitter page is him with like some gag dude in a rainbow flag from the Pride March, which was, what, five months ago?
00:53:04.000
So Cuomo put out a statement and it said, we're not impressed bigot boys skulking around in the dead of night.
00:53:18.000
Andrew Cuomo is responding to acts of vandalism, apparently at the hands of neo-fascist groups.
00:53:25.000
Posters and banners with the Proud Boys website were found on New York City bridges and tunnels this morning.
00:53:30.000
The banners included what the governor described as anti-Italian American stereotypes and extremist right-wing propaganda.
00:53:37.000
Governor Cuomo said, quote, New York is not intimidated or threatened by neo-fascists.
00:53:43.000
Just last month, two members of the Proud Boys group were sentenced to prison for violence in Manhattan.
00:53:59.000
I have a message for the bigot boys who skulk around like cowards in the dead of night.
00:54:03.000
When you preach hate and division, New York answers with love and unity.
00:54:10.000
He says we answer with love, and then a few words later, he goes, crawl back into your hole.
00:54:17.000
I think they should file a cease and desist against Cuomo, saying stop using that term.
00:54:22.000
And then De Blasio, the pothead that he is, tuned in like five hours later.
00:54:41.000
Imagine calling yourselves proud boys when you're a fucking disgrace to humanity, man.
00:54:47.000
You ought to just fucking keep going through the Holland Tunnel and just get out of New York, man.
00:55:01.000
He called the right-wing group an embarrassment to humanity.
00:55:09.000
They also said, next time you're on the highway, do us a favor and drive the hell out of town.
00:55:14.000
Your pathetic, hateful stunts have no place in the city.
00:55:35.000
I'd love to meet you face to face in an alleyway, fuck nuts.
00:55:39.000
When it says like, hey, man, when you're on the highway, keep driving, dude.
00:55:45.000
He's such a soggy, like a, like a cinnamon stick that is stale cinnamon stick.
00:56:10.000
And you look at pictures of him in his yearbook.
00:56:22.000
And then he got a job interning for David Dinkins because he's a cool black dude.
00:56:34.000
I'll just grab them and hand them to you, dude.
00:56:37.000
And David Dinkins goes, okay, thanks very much, young man.
00:57:03.000
What if you tried to make an elephant look hot?
00:57:05.000
Like you gave him leather pants and like blonde hair that was like slick bag and like fingerless gloves, even though he doesn't have fingers.
00:57:14.000
And you like, I don't know, drew like a six pack on his belly even though you couldn't see it.
00:57:57.000
Meaning, as a subject, I had nothing to do with it.
00:58:00.000
But I went to Church of the Sacred Heart, sat through the sermon.
00:58:03.000
It was nice because I was like 10 minutes late and ended it at 10 minutes before.
00:58:10.000
I have so much trouble concentrating in church and I can't stop thinking about sex.
00:58:18.000
If there's couples there, I think about the best sex they ever had.
00:58:21.000
I wonder what, like, I just want to have a crystal ball and say, what was the best sexual experience of your life?
00:58:35.000
When you said you wanted to ask Gina Belafonte and Ann Coulter about sex, I was like, I wonder if Ann Coulter's ever kissed a girl.
00:59:10.000
I had lunch with him on Sunday before we did the talk.
00:59:31.000
But he said, wow, Mr. President, you must have thick skin, constantly getting bashed.
00:59:56.000
Also, you got to understand, Trump has been a rock star since I was 10 years old.
01:00:04.000
I was watching him on Sally Jesse Raphael in 1985.
01:00:32.000
This brings us to something that I want to talk about before I finish my Church of the Sacred Heart story.
01:00:54.000
I don't like admitting I listen to his show because he's the competition and I don't want you to leave here and go there.
01:00:58.000
However, his audio of Donald Trump saying fuck.
01:01:10.000
The way he says fucking is the way Ryan and I say fucking when we're talking about tits.
01:01:22.000
He's a New Yorker through and through, and it's ridonculous.
01:01:26.000
So he's got this guy, Anthony has this guy, Hayden Christians.
01:02:01.000
Charge, we've been good to your magazine with The Apprentice.
01:02:11.000
They said it's the biggest show they've had since friends.
01:02:22.000
And by the way, based on a picture, I would never take her.
01:02:44.000
I walk in there and I was fucking, what are you guys doing?
01:03:12.000
Do you think I'm going to go out with a Penthouse pet?
01:03:26.000
And that's the only reason I recognize the name.
01:03:35.000
Like, tell you, you listened to this 3,000 times.
01:03:47.000
That literally sounds like my great-grandfather.
01:03:57.000
She wanted to he And it's because he wanted her to be a model for something.
01:04:11.000
He used to do a magazine Stepping Out, and he was the local gossip columnist.
01:04:15.000
and the premise was big, and this girl was saying that Donald Trump wanted her to advertise something.
01:04:31.000
We're all caught up now with all the news, right?
01:04:44.000
It's like 6 o'clock, and I realize, by the time I get home, it'll be like 7.38.
01:04:57.000
When I moved here in the 90s, Hell's Kitchen, you did not go there.
01:05:03.000
So as I'm walking home, I see Mickey Spillanes.
01:05:07.000
Now there's a Mickey Spillanes up in Westchester that I watch boxing matches at.
01:05:14.000
I went to Mickey Spillanese Church where he got married.
01:05:22.000
So, I walk in, and the bartender goes, hey, can I help you?
01:05:35.000
And I'm like, I'll just get a bud, Bud Light, whatever.
01:05:50.000
Watch, you know that movie with the little elf that could, that Christmas movie?
01:06:02.000
It'll take like two hours, and then we could split that up and make that Christmas episodes.
01:06:09.000
Hey, you're an embarrassment to humanity, dude.
01:06:20.000
Anyway, so he goes, then I see this guy looking at me down the bar.
01:06:25.000
And thanks to the media's false allegations and the SPLC's accusations, I have to keep my wits about me.
01:06:34.000
Even at the platform near my house, I see this millennial staring at me.
01:06:42.000
And he's reading a book called Fascist Capitalism.
01:06:52.000
Meanwhile, he's 35 and he's staring at me sort of like, and I hate those passive-aggressive attacks because what are you going to do?
01:07:04.000
Or you just ignore it and you're letting him get away with it.
01:07:12.000
But just as like, and then you can tell people later, I wasn't putting up with his shit for one second.
01:07:31.000
Now I can dox you, and then Antifil will come and beat you up and do the dirty work.
01:07:52.000
And then he comes over and he goes, I like your new sunglasses.
01:08:07.000
It's in a plastic cup, which should have shown me something fishy was going on.
01:08:13.000
I don't really like beer in a plastic cup, but whatever.
01:08:15.000
And he goes, hey, man, I called into the show once.
01:08:21.000
And he goes, no, my girlfriend's at work, and I thought I'm just wandering around.
01:08:25.000
We're both on self-dates, I realize, which is the thing the New York Post is talking about.
01:08:37.000
And then it had a picture of this woman who had bought herself flowers.
01:08:42.000
Feminism and gang rapists are about the same as far as the devastation they've done to women's lives.
01:08:50.000
This poor woman is sitting there with a delicious cocktail and a thing of roses on the bar with her, just like, I'm so happy.
01:09:08.000
You know, I might get one of these self-weddings later on and just marry myself, which is also a thing, folks.
01:09:24.000
So anyway, we're on self-dates and I go, sit down.
01:09:28.000
And he goes, yeah, I'm kind of surprised to see you here.
01:09:42.000
Mickey Spillane, if only he knew what his legacy had become.
01:09:51.000
And because we're both straight men, we saw that said beer, $4 and we saw sliders and we went, that seems affordable.
01:10:01.000
And as we were walking in, we ignored a gigantic rainbow flag, like as big as this, as big as this building.
01:10:22.000
By the way, I didn't say this before because it would erect the punchline.
01:10:25.000
Hell's Kitchen is way gayer than Chelsea, way gayer than the West Village.
01:10:39.000
Like, we gave you the West Village and said, go butt fuck each other blind.
01:10:50.000
I'll get a $4 slider and then a man comes greasing his buns.
01:10:56.000
Well, it was funny, too, because the barmaid was kind of pokritudinous.
01:11:00.000
She had quite a pair of cans, and we were like, we could just grab those.
01:11:12.000
And then you just sort of like, yeah, that, see, Michael, this is what I was talking about.
01:11:20.000
And then you blow your cover because you do like a tight butt fart.
01:11:25.000
Almost like in a Glorious Bastard when he had two fingers apart.
01:11:28.000
It didn't sound like your asshole is a baby yawning.
01:11:38.000
I want to see if your butthole is as tight as my boyfriend's because I feel like his could be a lot tighter.
01:12:06.000
If you ever have to change the URL for this site, that would be a, is that domain available?
01:12:16.000
And this is the, when you get to the homepage, this is sort of on a GIF that's just streaming.
01:12:32.000
So yeah, we had a bunch of beers there with the gays and hung out, had a meatball sub and walked home.
01:13:00.000
So yeah, I had a nice chat with him and then went back home.
01:13:03.000
And the next morning, I went out and did the Dinesh Michael Shermer thing.
01:13:16.000
But Saturday, there's no content, so it's almost kind of a good thing to drop it on Saturday so it doesn't go under the radar.
01:13:27.000
That gives you a lot of room to sit on your ass playing video games.
01:13:35.000
Maybe we should make this a Monday's regular thing.
01:13:36.000
You just show up in your normal civilian clothes, no notes, talk about the weekend.
01:13:49.000
Well, maybe the gay male couple should stop doing this all the time.
01:13:55.000
Maybe that gay male couple should have his fucking sandwich ready once in a while.
01:14:05.000
I know five guys who have had their lives flushed down the toilet for it.
01:14:09.000
All of them were innocent, which is why I once tweeted out every instance of domestic abuse I've heard of has been some cunt trying to ruin a guy's life.
01:14:16.000
I got in a lot of trouble for that, but it's just my personal experience.
01:14:26.000
But everyone I talk to has never known or known of, we're not talking about the 50s and 60s, a guy who was just like, where the fuck's my dinner, bitch?
01:14:38.000
Like a guy who beats the shit out of his wife or girlfriend, and she's got like the sunglasses on.
01:14:47.000
I see it in Cassavetti's movies, but I've never come across it.
01:14:51.000
And if I did, like if Anthony Cumia beat the shit out of his girlfriend, like outside of beating him up or calling the cops, I would just never speak to him again.
01:15:02.000
Like the idea that men just hang around going, whoa, she's in big trouble.
01:15:07.000
Looks like she should have had his sandwich ready.
01:15:15.000
And I've met thousands of people from all walks of life, all races, everything.
01:15:20.000
I have heard of very abusive relationships in lesbian couples.
01:15:36.000
I like you more than a friend, guys, and I need you to be brave.
01:15:51.000
To get them out of jail because we're never going to give up.