Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E91

00:00:51.000 Am I getting weaker or is that ghetto blaster getting heavier?

00:00:55.000 I put extra batteries inside of it.

00:00:58.000 Did you?

00:00:59.000 No.

00:01:00.000 That was X-Hex from Washington, D.C., and their song was, I don't want to lose your love.

00:01:06.000 It's in the heart.

00:01:07.000 It's just a question of.

00:01:09.000 Really fucking good band.

00:01:10.000 And as a sexist, I assumed that some dude was writing all their songs because they're just too good.

00:01:16.000 They're too catchy.

00:01:18.000 But then I saw that they're fives and I thought, well, fives can be talented.

00:01:22.000 They don't get invited to parties.

00:01:26.000 Squeeze me.

00:01:27.000 It's empty.

00:01:31.000 So they had a really sort of a hollow 60s Sonics bare bones rock sound on the first album, which that's from.

00:01:38.000 But the new album is called Let's Rule.

00:01:42.000 I forgot to get my notes.

00:01:43.000 XX.

00:01:44.000 Let's rule.

00:01:46.000 No, no, it's in the notes, shithead.

00:01:48.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:01:51.000 And it's got more of a journey big fuller sound.

00:01:55.000 But boy, can she rock out on the old guitar.

00:02:04.000 So she's gone from like the 60s to the 80s.

00:02:16.000 Did you see these mugs?

00:02:18.000 Yeah, people want those mugs.

00:02:19.000 Are they on the site yet?

00:02:21.000 I don't think so.

00:02:23.000 You had it for a second there.

00:02:30.000 There we go.

00:02:31.000 Gavin is showing the mug for those audio listeners out there.

00:02:35.000 Great work by Brian J. Spencer.

00:02:38.000 This rat is very exact.

00:02:42.000 Isn't he?

00:02:43.000 Oh yeah.

00:02:46.000 We're sort of off to a slow start today, aren't we, folks?

00:02:48.000 I'll be quite honest with you.

00:02:50.000 I brought my motorcycle into the city because it's such a beautiful day.

00:02:55.000 And it sucks.

00:02:59.000 Because traffic is traffic.

00:03:01.000 It doesn't matter if you're in a car or a motorbike.

00:03:02.000 Yeah, you can go in between the cars.

00:03:04.000 Not really.

00:03:04.000 You get a ticket for that.

00:03:06.000 And I love cops, but I fucking hate the way they talk to me when I get a ticket.

00:03:10.000 You mind telling me why you're going in between cars?

00:03:13.000 Yeah, because I'm on a fucking motorcycle and I want to get somewhere faster.

00:03:18.000 I hate that you mind telling me.

00:03:19.000 Hey, cops, you're great guys.

00:03:21.000 We appreciate you.

00:03:22.000 But stop saying you mind telling me.

00:03:25.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:28.000 It's so patronizing.

00:03:30.000 It's condescending a little bit.

00:03:32.000 What am I supposed to say to that?

00:03:33.000 Because I'm an idiot?

00:03:35.000 Because I suck and I deserve.

00:03:36.000 Just give me the fucking ticket.

00:03:39.000 Shithead.

00:03:40.000 But I don't do that.

00:03:41.000 I just seethe.

00:03:43.000 Hey, working-class black America, when you get pulled over, seethe.

00:03:50.000 Can't fight the seether.

00:03:52.000 Sether.

00:03:53.000 Can't fight the seether.

00:03:55.000 I can't see her when she's foaming at.

00:03:58.000 I love Chick Rock, don't I?

00:04:00.000 Can't fight the seether without a spark.

00:04:02.000 Did you send me a picture of a cop punching out a guy?

00:04:06.000 Yeah, he got punched and sicked his dog on the guy.

00:04:10.000 Well, show me.

00:04:11.000 I got it.

00:04:12.000 Coming up.

00:04:13.000 Because I have a whole montage.

00:04:16.000 I'm trying to get back on my motorbike, get out of the city, and go ripping around Hutchinson Parkway.

00:04:22.000 So I just want to go through letters today.

00:04:22.000 Ripping around.

00:04:24.000 I have a little bit of news, and then I want to look at people getting knocked out.

00:04:28.000 And then I want to get, then I want to hit the road, hit the highway.

00:04:33.000 What are you doing?

00:04:34.000 Oh, shit.

00:04:35.000 He fucking punched him.

00:04:37.000 Just punched a cop in the face?

00:04:39.000 How is that going to go down?

00:04:41.000 I'll tell you how.

00:04:42.000 Oh, yo, what the fuck?

00:04:44.000 This nigga punched.

00:04:46.000 That dog wants him so bad.

00:04:48.000 You just punched my friend, sir.

00:04:50.000 Your arm is no more.

00:04:52.000 By the way, dude, you're lucky you didn't get shot.

00:04:54.000 Yeah, for real, dude.

00:04:55.000 He didn't even take his gun out.

00:04:56.000 Those bites are gifts from the local PD.

00:05:00.000 Each bite is a gift.

00:05:02.000 He should be saying thank you to each little tooth.

00:05:04.000 Thanks, dog.

00:05:06.000 Thank you so much.

00:05:07.000 Who the?

00:05:08.000 Well, he's obviously mentally ill.

00:05:09.000 Maybe.

00:05:10.000 That dog does not stop, and the cop does not stop him, if you will.

00:05:14.000 Don't.

00:05:16.000 So, yeah, we're going to check out a montage of dudes getting punched in the face.

00:05:19.000 Oh, you know what I heard at the bar last night?

00:05:22.000 What's up?

00:05:23.000 There's this coach in New Rochelle, Coach D, they call him, because he has a perfect cock.

00:05:29.000 Don't just kidding.

00:05:31.000 I thought you were serious.

00:05:34.000 All the moms have to refer to him as Coach D, and they hate it.

00:05:37.000 Hey, Coach D. Yeah, what do you want to ask?

00:05:42.000 I just want to ask to bring my son over for practice.

00:05:46.000 And who do you want to ask that to?

00:05:48.000 And what's my name again?

00:05:48.000 You.

00:05:52.000 Coach D. Coach D. It's Coach D. You fucking bet your bottom dollar it is, bitch.

00:05:58.000 You try to say coach?

00:05:59.000 Hey, Coach.

00:06:01.000 I don't hear when people say coach.

00:06:03.000 Now, there's a lot of coaches in the world.

00:06:05.000 I hear Coach D. Talking about Coach Bag.

00:06:07.000 Prick up your ears.

00:06:08.000 Prick up my D. So yeah, this guy, Coach D, and he's named that because it's an abbreviation of a D name.

00:06:20.000 He's not in the notes, so you'll have to dig it up on your own.

00:06:24.000 So you get this story.

00:06:25.000 Is that it?

00:06:26.000 Coach Lou Dorenzo.

00:06:29.000 This fucking guy, he goes to school and he sees his 13-year-old niece is wasted, right?

00:06:38.000 You do dumb stuff when you're a teenager.

00:06:38.000 It happens.

00:06:40.000 13 is pretty young, though.

00:06:42.000 But 14 is normal.

00:06:43.000 Remember Jungle Juice?

00:06:44.000 Did you have that and you're in the Bronx?

00:06:45.000 I remember Jungle Juice, it's a bunch of everything.

00:06:48.000 Yeah, you take a jar and you pour a little bit of each drink into your jar.

00:06:52.000 God, it tastes like Satan's foreskin.

00:06:54.000 And there's never a top for the jar.

00:06:56.000 So it's always like saran wrap with 50 rubber bands.

00:06:59.000 And then you have to, oh, sometimes you plug your nose.

00:07:02.000 In my high school at the Earl of March in Kanata, Ontario, we would be fucking pissed if you didn't barf.

00:07:09.000 Like we would put in a pact to drink till we barf and we all agreed, barf.

00:07:14.000 And then we see some guy not chugging jungle juice and not puking.

00:07:18.000 And it was like he hurt our family.

00:07:20.000 I remember being so fucking mad at Rick Lowe.

00:07:23.000 You didn't barf at all last night?

00:07:25.000 No, I didn't get wasted enough to barf.

00:07:28.000 We had a pact.

00:07:30.000 We had a deal, Rick.

00:07:32.000 Anyway, so she shows up to school.

00:07:36.000 She's got a buzz on.

00:07:37.000 Someone fucked up.

00:07:39.000 And so the coach goes, oh, for crying out loud.

00:07:41.000 And he calls, I guess it's his sister, his niece's mom.

00:07:45.000 I don't know what side of the family this uncle is on.

00:07:48.000 But he calls his sister, we'll say, his family member, to come get the girl.

00:07:53.000 Guess what the school did?

00:07:56.000 Fired him.

00:07:57.000 No way.

00:07:58.000 You have to go through proper school channels.

00:08:02.000 Remember when I was telling you the other day that my son was told if he sees someone beating his sister, he has to go and get a teacher?

00:08:08.000 And I said, ah, no.

00:08:09.000 You jump on that person and get them off your sister.

00:08:11.000 Fuck the school.

00:08:13.000 Well, this is it.

00:08:14.000 The state handles your children.

00:08:16.000 The state decides what to do if a girl is drunk.

00:08:20.000 Not you.

00:08:21.000 You don't handle your own children.

00:08:23.000 Isn't that fucking disgusting?

00:08:25.000 This should be a national story.

00:08:29.000 That's like government getting involved in family, basically.

00:08:32.000 Well, that's what they want to do.

00:08:34.000 The state wants to take over your life.

00:08:37.000 They want to take over parenting.

00:08:39.000 This is why you have de Blasio fighting charter schools, even though they're great for kids in New York, especially poor black kids.

00:08:47.000 You see him fighting those.

00:08:48.000 He doesn't want charter schools.

00:08:49.000 He wants to, I'll handle it, my public schools.

00:08:52.000 And at the same time, they're pushing school to go to 6.30 p.m.

00:08:56.000 That's crazy.

00:08:57.000 A fucking child.

00:08:58.000 Look, school used to be good.

00:09:01.000 Then it became a glorified daycare.

00:09:03.000 Now it's child abuse.

00:09:05.000 A little boy.

00:09:06.000 You know how much fucking energy they have?

00:09:08.000 I take my six-year-old and his friend boxing on Thursdays.

00:09:12.000 We go to McDonald's after.

00:09:13.000 They are playing in that play area until sweat is pouring off of them.

00:09:18.000 These are guys who have just been doing push-ups, sit-ups, hitting the heavy bag for an hour, and they can't wait to rip through the plaything.

00:09:25.000 So that's like two hours of non-stop freaking oot because they don't get any exercise at school.

00:09:31.000 Recess at some of these schools is like 20 minutes.

00:09:35.000 Forest kindergarten should be all school.

00:09:39.000 I am, people give me shit, call me a Nazi, whatever.

00:09:42.000 I am a radical when it comes to education.

00:09:45.000 If you think that I'm too controversial, you're right.

00:09:49.000 I am against school.

00:09:51.000 Fuck school, fuck school, fuck my iSchool.

00:09:53.000 It's a fucking catastrophe.

00:09:55.000 This is a direct attack on the family unit.

00:09:59.000 Yeah.

00:10:00.000 So what it's imagine being such a cuck that you see your wasted niece and you go, oh, I better go talk to a teacher.

00:10:08.000 Your niece is like, where are you going, Uncle D?

00:10:11.000 What's going on?

00:10:12.000 Just stay right there.

00:10:14.000 I have to go get an authority figure.

00:10:16.000 I can't handle this.

00:10:17.000 There's something North Korean about that.

00:10:19.000 Yeah.

00:10:20.000 Is that a forest kindergarten?

00:10:22.000 Yep.

00:10:26.000 I thought you said forest kindergarten.

00:10:28.000 Foreskinned kindergarten.

00:10:30.000 Only for kids with foreskins, which I'm also very for.

00:10:34.000 These kids just play all day.

00:10:37.000 Adventuring and learning.

00:10:38.000 If it's raining, if it's snowing, they're outside all day.

00:10:42.000 And when they end up in a normal school, they adjust perfectly.

00:10:45.000 This is where kids should be.

00:10:47.000 Kids should not be sitting confined in a chair.

00:10:50.000 God, we're such a barbaric society.

00:10:52.000 We have, what, 3 million men in cages right now, in little cells where they can touch either side.

00:10:58.000 Men in cages.

00:11:00.000 Children in little desks being preached to at the age of six years old.

00:11:04.000 The fuck are we doing?

00:11:06.000 When did we become such barbarians?

00:11:10.000 God, the hippies were right.

00:11:12.000 It's like robots.

00:11:13.000 Drop out.

00:11:14.000 Tune in, turn on, drop out.

00:11:16.000 I'm a hippie.

00:11:18.000 Anyway, this construction is going to drive me insane.

00:11:25.000 It is a disaster.

00:11:30.000 Let's power through, man.

00:11:32.000 You know.

00:11:33.000 All right.

00:11:34.000 Here's an interesting thing.

00:11:37.000 Remember when Ivanka Trump got a white dog?

00:11:41.000 No.

00:11:42.000 See if you can pull it up.

00:11:44.000 Oh, that was fast.

00:11:46.000 there's a Yeah, so, how, darling?

00:11:50.000 I see you skipped a rescue and went straight to Aryan Breeder.

00:11:52.000 Does it sit in Zeke Heil yet?

00:11:54.000 That's Nancy Lee Grant.

00:11:55.000 I believe she's a soap star.

00:11:57.000 Certified soap star.

00:11:59.000 Is she like a part black or something?

00:12:02.000 God, the only thing more annoying and stupid than an actress is a daytime soap actress.

00:12:09.000 Anyway, first of all, guys, when you get a rescue dog, you're not helping anyone.

00:12:14.000 You're not helping the environment.

00:12:16.000 It's not more ethical.

00:12:17.000 It's just a fucking dog.

00:12:19.000 There's always going to be strays.

00:12:20.000 There's always going to be fucking rescues.

00:12:22.000 You got to wonder why it's available to adopt, too.

00:12:26.000 Probably bit a kid.

00:12:28.000 It's probably one of Mike Vick's pit bulls.

00:12:31.000 He would be a felon right now if it were after Trump signed what he signed yesterday.

00:12:37.000 Oh, he signed some animal rights thing?

00:12:38.000 The first in history.

00:12:39.000 I'm so bored by animal rights.

00:12:41.000 It's so like you sit there eating a chicken sandwich and you eat meat and then you're like, but this dog has big eyes and I rescued him.

00:12:50.000 How is it different?

00:12:51.000 Yes, the Chinese eat dogs.

00:12:53.000 So?

00:12:54.000 You eat cows and chickens and pigs.

00:12:56.000 What the fuck does it matter?

00:12:58.000 No, dogs are different.

00:13:00.000 No, they're not.

00:13:01.000 They're stupid.

00:13:03.000 You want to see how smart a dog is?

00:13:06.000 Have a piece of food there, okay?

00:13:08.000 Like a little doggy treat.

00:13:09.000 Then take a solo cup, put it on top of the doggy treat.

00:13:12.000 He will be too retarded to move the cup and get the food.

00:13:15.000 He'll just go, oh shit.

00:13:17.000 Oh, it's locked.

00:13:18.000 It's locked away in a little plastic solo safe that I have no access to because I don't understand how anything works because I'm a fucking dog.

00:13:26.000 Oh, he's sitting.

00:13:27.000 You know what he's saying?

00:13:28.000 He's saying, what are you doing in my chair?

00:13:31.000 No, he's not.

00:13:32.000 He's saying, food, food, sex, territory, territory.

00:13:34.000 Food, food, food, sex.

00:13:35.000 Food, food, food.

00:13:36.000 Food, food, food, territory, territory.

00:13:37.000 Food, food, food.

00:13:38.000 Food, food, food.

00:13:40.000 Look, there we go.

00:13:46.000 Can't get it.

00:13:47.000 It's gone.

00:13:51.000 Anyway.

00:13:53.000 I don't care about that one dog.

00:13:55.000 I'm so sick of, too, Howard Stern.

00:13:57.000 They have this, like, North Shore animal rescue thing.

00:14:02.000 Oh, real men love cats.

00:14:02.000 There it is.

00:14:05.000 Look, she clearly, it's so glaringly obvious.

00:14:08.000 She clearly feels she needs to fill a void because she never had kids.

00:14:12.000 So she has fur babies.

00:14:15.000 And look at Howard Stern.

00:14:16.000 He's so vain and insecure at the same time.

00:14:21.000 And she thinks she's helping by taking in a bunch of kittens.

00:14:23.000 They're just going to breed more.

00:14:24.000 You might as well take in a bunch of fucking spider crickets or rats.

00:14:28.000 Like, why?

00:14:29.000 Because they're cute and furry.

00:14:30.000 It's somehow more ethical to save them.

00:14:32.000 Why not save snakes?

00:14:34.000 The snake population is totally endangered in China.

00:14:36.000 If you love animals, why don't you go to China on a save the snakes rampage?

00:14:40.000 Oh, they have small eyes and they're not cute.

00:14:43.000 You like baby seals because they have big eyes.

00:14:45.000 So really, all you care about is the same thing a fucking six-year-old cares about.

00:14:49.000 What's cutest?

00:14:51.000 What a total and utter waste of time.

00:14:53.000 Total.

00:14:54.000 You know how much money Howard Stern makes?

00:14:56.000 He makes about 90 million a year.

00:14:58.000 Like, go buy every dog in the world and give it a million dollars.

00:15:02.000 Right.

00:15:02.000 I mean, what?

00:15:03.000 I don't understand what you're trying to do.

00:15:05.000 You think you're helping by taking in like two stray dogs?

00:15:09.000 Is there a more irrelevant gesture imaginable?

00:15:12.000 Ugh.

00:15:14.000 I hate people with dogs.

00:15:16.000 Like, I have a dog.

00:15:17.000 It's a good little alarm thing if someone is skulking around the property.

00:15:21.000 I appreciate that.

00:15:22.000 And I can see it.

00:15:23.000 It's fun to have a German shepherd.

00:15:24.000 You come home and you wrestle with it and stuff.

00:15:26.000 But when people are, like, really into their dogs, bumper sticker levels, and they talk about it all the time and they're spending like 30 grand at the vet because he has to have his gallbladder removed.

00:15:37.000 Just shoot them.

00:15:38.000 Get another one.

00:15:39.000 It's a fucking dog.

00:15:42.000 It's God's accident.

00:15:45.000 They're losers.

00:15:46.000 Animals are losers.

00:15:47.000 I've said it a million times.

00:15:49.000 A hammerhead shark is a fucking joke.

00:15:55.000 They're so majestic, though.

00:15:56.000 When God sees a hammerhead shark, you know what he does?

00:15:59.000 He goes, oh, shit.

00:16:02.000 It cracks him up.

00:16:04.000 Animals crack him up.

00:16:04.000 No.

00:16:06.000 He was going for this.

00:16:08.000 He was going for a human.

00:16:10.000 And he just splogged all over Earth.

00:16:14.000 And his magic intensity that made this also got on some other shit and made like trees and some fucking weird moss and other stuff.

00:16:25.000 And it went into the ocean and made some stuff.

00:16:28.000 All of God's plan was about making us in his own image.

00:16:32.000 We are the perfect thing.

00:16:34.000 All this other stuff is just like God's jizz getting stuck on a fucking little cell in the ocean.

00:16:40.000 That's a loser.

00:16:41.000 How can you not see that?

00:16:42.000 That's a giant loser.

00:16:44.000 Look at his face.

00:16:45.000 He's such a dumb waste of space.

00:16:48.000 Hey, I'm all teeth.

00:16:50.000 Chomp, chomp.

00:16:51.000 I can't ever stop swimming or I die.

00:16:54.000 That's how badly designed I am.

00:16:56.000 Oh, that's true.

00:16:57.000 What a fucking retard.

00:16:59.000 How is this okay that they're doing that?

00:17:03.000 Don't they take little bites?

00:17:05.000 Well, it might be one of those great whites that thinks it's a toad.

00:17:09.000 Ah, they're not a threat.

00:17:11.000 You know, we were cutting clips because we got the clip coming out, shareable on YouTube with a bunch of clips.

00:17:16.000 And we rewatched the Toad part.

00:17:18.000 And it delivers...

00:17:20.000 You know how when you thought that...

00:17:23.000 Or people are just hearing you talk and looking at a man in a corny Ivisu blazer from the late 90s.

00:17:29.000 at Dode.

00:17:32.000 When you thought, I'm working on it.

00:17:33.000 When you thought it was like, oh, he's a fat.

00:17:35.000 And it was actually...

00:17:38.000 Yeah.

00:17:39.000 And when we do Tony Soprano and it's like, but really he goes, Yeah, someone was talking to me about that.

00:17:47.000 Yeah.

00:17:48.000 This is the only time that it's better than our impression where we go, it's a dude.

00:17:53.000 We watch the Dinesh thing and it's better to pull it up.

00:17:56.000 Okay.

00:17:58.000 Do you know what's cool?

00:18:00.000 The guys at my gym and my bartenders, I'm such a fucking barfly that they get to know me and then they end up, just because I'm talking about my work sometimes, they end up subscribing to the show.

00:18:11.000 And then I'll have my bartender, the fucking ex-Hell's Angel, being like, yeah, well, I guess if you think you're a doad.

00:18:18.000 No.

00:18:19.000 That's so.

00:18:19.000 Yes.

00:18:21.000 All these inside jokes are now out into the cosmos.

00:18:23.000 In fact, one of the guys at my gym came up to me, this guy Tommy, came up to me today and he goes, dude, I'm listening to the audiobook of Death the Cool.

00:18:30.000 That fucking quote about today's bitch is tomorrow's dead man.

00:18:35.000 You learned that as a tree planter.

00:18:36.000 I'm like, I have no recollection of saying that.

00:18:38.000 That sounds really cool.

00:18:40.000 Today's bitch is tomorrow's dead man.

00:18:42.000 That's awesome.

00:18:43.000 That would be a good t-shirt, wouldn't it?

00:18:45.000 Yes.

00:18:45.000 Today's bitch is tomorrow's dead.

00:18:48.000 Today's bitch is tomorrow's dead man.

00:18:53.000 Don't you think?

00:18:54.000 Yeah, I do.

00:18:55.000 All right.

00:18:55.000 While you try to find that doad, the reason I brought up that dog is because people are now so obsessed with race that they think the actual color is relevant to a discussion on race.

00:19:10.000 This is a white, a mostly white mug, okay?

00:19:14.000 I'm known as a white person.

00:19:17.000 I'm not actually white, though.

00:19:19.000 I'm more of like a peach hue of pink.

00:19:22.000 It's just a word that people use.

00:19:25.000 Like when you catch a cold, you didn't literally grab some cold Air and keep it in the palm of your hand.

00:19:32.000 It's a euphemism.

00:19:33.000 It's just a word.

00:19:34.000 But we become so fucking mental that when a rich woman like Ivanka Trump gets a white dog, it's somehow a statement about white people.

00:19:46.000 What it gets crazier.

00:19:50.000 You ready for this?

00:19:52.000 This is 1.6.

00:19:53.000 Actually, I'll just let the video play out and you can see for yourself because they're so proud of themselves in this video.

00:20:00.000 They're really sticking it to the man.

00:20:02.000 The racists are just sitting watching this going, why you?

00:20:05.000 I used to like that thing that you just changed.

00:20:08.000 And now I'm mad because I can't enjoy the fact that this thing used to be a rule in chess and you switched it around, thereby gaining equality for all.

00:20:18.000 We broke a rule in chess today.

00:20:21.000 Could change minds tomorrow.

00:20:23.000 You're fucking nerds.

00:20:27.000 These guys will never experience a threesome till the day they die.

00:20:32.000 They have no idea what cocaine feels like.

00:20:35.000 We broke a rule in the middle.

00:20:37.000 Is that the whole thing?

00:20:38.000 Could change minds tomorrow.

00:20:39.000 What's tomorrow?

00:20:40.000 Yeah, 17 seconds.

00:20:42.000 What?

00:20:43.000 I've been wanting to show this all week.

00:20:45.000 Are you serious?

00:20:46.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 You don't remember that it was just that?

00:20:49.000 Well, you got to find it now.

00:20:51.000 Okay.

00:20:51.000 Look up Anish Geary.

00:20:52.000 Do you know what it is?

00:20:54.000 No.

00:20:55.000 Oh, I have to give it away now.

00:20:56.000 Okay.

00:20:57.000 In chess, the white pawn always goes first.

00:21:02.000 And then it's the black pawn.

00:21:03.000 God.

00:21:04.000 Or whatever.

00:21:05.000 The first move is always one of the plastic pieces.

00:21:09.000 Do you think it's literally a knight?

00:21:11.000 Do you think that the castle is really a castle that someone lives in?

00:21:15.000 It's a plastic little piece of shit.

00:21:18.000 It's a strategy game that uses garbage.

00:21:21.000 I love chess.

00:21:22.000 I'm impressed by it, of course.

00:21:25.000 But the fact that you made this racial?

00:21:30.000 What?

00:21:32.000 So these dumb losers think that they're political activists because they broke a rule in chess today.

00:21:39.000 This is the full video.

00:21:40.000 I've been playing chess since I was six years old, and every time I played, White Star.

00:21:45.000 You're such a fucking loser.

00:21:48.000 This guy's a bigger loser than Jack Ma.

00:21:58.000 What?

00:21:59.000 How are they related?

00:22:01.000 They're not related.

00:22:04.000 You're not helping any race.

00:22:06.000 You're helping a plastic.

00:22:07.000 Piece of plastic.

00:22:08.000 Yo, I really appreciate how...

00:22:15.000 Imagine anybody caring about this that was of color.

00:22:19.000 I worked in a celebration of the NAACP.

00:22:22.000 I traded in all of our china, all of our white plates.

00:22:25.000 I smashed them.

00:22:27.000 And we got black plates.

00:22:29.000 And it was just our way, my family's way of making a gesture towards the black community.

00:22:34.000 And when they come over, I would be remiss if I didn't say, hey, excuse me, come here.

00:22:39.000 And I bring black people.

00:22:41.000 The few times they come to my home, I bring them to the kitchen and I show them my black plates.

00:22:44.000 I go, what do you think?

00:22:46.000 No white plates.

00:22:48.000 You know where the white plates are?

00:22:50.000 In the fucking garbage.

00:22:51.000 I smash them all.

00:22:52.000 And you know what they always say?

00:22:53.000 What?

00:22:54.000 Thank you.

00:22:56.000 They go, every little bit counts.

00:22:58.000 And the more black products you buy, the better it is for us because we own the color black and we get dividends.

00:23:06.000 That would be cool.

00:23:08.000 What the fuck is going on with the world?

00:23:10.000 A white dog has nothing to do with white people.

00:23:14.000 A black piece of plastic has absolutely zero to do with black people.

00:23:19.000 They're not literally black.

00:23:21.000 And even if they were, they don't work with pieces of plastic.

00:23:24.000 It's a separate thing.

00:23:25.000 Did you not know that that's not a black person?

00:23:28.000 What the fuck?

00:23:29.000 How did we get here?

00:23:30.000 Yeah, you're laughing now.

00:23:31.000 We're going to have two kings on the board.

00:23:34.000 Why does it have to be a king and a queen?

00:23:36.000 We're getting rid of the kings, actually.

00:23:37.000 It's two queens.

00:23:38.000 It's two queens to celebrate women.

00:23:40.000 It makes the game kind of confusing.

00:23:43.000 We have to relearn the rules.

00:23:44.000 Move for equality.

00:23:46.000 I bet?

00:23:46.000 Okay, you know what?

00:23:47.000 I'll bet you anything that move for equality is a Soros or DNC-funded bullshit thing, and it purports to be about fighting racism.

00:23:56.000 But when you actually check their work, it is all about immigration.

00:24:01.000 And it's all about immigration because the DNC wants Hispanic votes.

00:24:05.000 You know that guy that was shut down?

00:24:07.000 The cop who was being investigated for being a proud boy?

00:24:11.000 It was by a law firm in D.C. We talked about this on the show.

00:24:14.000 And I looked them up, and 99% of the stuff they fought for was amnesty and sanctuary cities and all this other shit.

00:24:23.000 Nothing to do with equality, everything to do with Mexicans.

00:24:30.000 You know, this is all a lie.

00:24:31.000 So I was thinking about the Kaepernick thing, too.

00:24:33.000 He's told by the news that like everybody hates cops.

00:24:36.000 So he's just doing what he thought everybody would like.

00:24:38.000 He didn't know that people would be like, dude, fuck.

00:24:41.000 Oh, I've said that a million times.

00:24:42.000 A lot of immigrants that seem like immigrates and are shitting on America, like that black guy who was crapping on the Proud Boys in Halifax.

00:24:52.000 And he said, why are you gay?

00:24:55.000 I'm sorry, I'm getting into my African.

00:24:57.000 He said, dig down that flag.

00:24:58.000 That is a flag of genocide.

00:25:01.000 Your flag did.

00:25:02.000 He was talking about the original Canadian flag, which has a Union jack on it.

00:25:05.000 He was saying it's a flag of genocide.

00:25:07.000 Judging by his accent, he's been in the country for about a year.

00:25:10.000 So what is he doing?

00:25:11.000 Why does he hate Canada?

00:25:12.000 Because that's what he was taught.

00:25:15.000 It's like the Sarnev brothers.

00:25:16.000 They weren't radical when they were young.

00:25:18.000 They were radicalized by us, by teachers, by Marxists.

00:25:24.000 We're responsible for these fucking nuts.

00:25:27.000 Now I hear fucking Dinesh's accent every time I open my mouth.

00:25:31.000 We are responsible for these fucking nuts.

00:25:34.000 It's hard.

00:25:35.000 I don't think I've ever heard him swear.

00:25:37.000 Did you find the toad yet?

00:25:39.000 Yeah, for some reason the video is not loading at the same time.

00:25:41.000 I think I have a problem with my quick play, quick type.

00:25:45.000 Speaking of Proud Boys and letters, I want to get catch up in a lot of letters today, but I got this dude.

00:25:51.000 Where is he here?

00:25:53.000 Who was just fired from the Department of Home Security.

00:25:58.000 Good morning, Gavin.

00:25:59.000 Today I was officially Fired from the Department of Homeland Security for my association with Proud Boys.

00:26:04.000 After being questioned by both a criminal investigation agent and a Secret Service agent, I learned that a DHS computer scan revealed that back in May, I Google searched Proud Boys after learning about the organization from my former girlfriend, who was an original Proud Boys girl.

00:26:20.000 So he was fired for Googling Proud Boys.

00:26:23.000 This goes back to the chess piece.

00:26:25.000 It also makes me question, like I know we're living in a deranged time and it's basically the Salem witch trials and there's they don't actually have a witch.

00:26:33.000 Like if there was Nazis and they were hunting them and they got some and some got caught in the crossfire and were collateral damage, you go, okay, well that's still kind of noble.

00:26:40.000 They're not looking for Nazis.

00:26:40.000 But they're not.

00:26:42.000 Why do all these groups that are furiously doxing Proud Boys or throwing Roger Stone in jail or throwing Proud Boys in prison, all of these fucking nuts that talk about racism all the time, why don't they ever talk about the Aryan nations or any of the bona fide white power gangs, biker gangs in this country?

00:26:59.000 Because they don't really give a shit about racism.

00:27:02.000 What they give a shit about is using that as a blanket term to throw over their enemies so we can't see anymore and we're made to non-exist.

00:27:11.000 But when I get emails like this, I think, I'm not a witch.

00:27:16.000 It is the witch trials, but am I helping?

00:27:20.000 Like, what if I was never born?

00:27:21.000 Would the world be better off or worse off?

00:27:24.000 That's the 36th proud boy I know of to be fired.

00:27:28.000 Should I have started this organization?

00:27:29.000 I mean, I get a lot of emails saying, hey, man, finally settled down.

00:27:32.000 I had a kid.

00:27:34.000 I got my life in order.

00:27:35.000 I stopped doing drugs, whatever.

00:27:37.000 I get a lot of those.

00:27:38.000 But does that outweigh the 36 guys fired?

00:27:41.000 I know they weren't fired for a good reason, but they're still fired.

00:27:45.000 Anyway, he goes, I email him back.

00:27:49.000 I go, that's fucking insane.

00:27:51.000 And he goes, yeah, brother, it's a big shock coming this close to Christmas.

00:27:54.000 I'm a 15-year veteran of the U.S. Army and a single father of three young kids.

00:27:59.000 I've been a firefighter, reserve sheriff's deputy, and soldier in my life, and have never been treated so poorly and actually questioned about, and he puts this in quote, Nazi ties, just because I expressed interest in a pro-America group.

00:28:15.000 I just wanted you guys to know this ridiculousness is still alive and well in all aspects of our government.

00:28:20.000 Say hi to Ryan for me.

00:28:22.000 Hey.

00:28:23.000 My girl and I met him at Harry's Bar in D.C. after the July 6th free speech rally.

00:28:26.000 Oh, very cool.

00:28:27.000 We had group sex, and his penis was a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

00:28:32.000 She misses him, and I'm still weirded out.

00:28:35.000 Our relationship is actually kind of on the rocks now.

00:28:38.000 What's this?

00:28:39.000 I caught her diddling her bean to your sh- diddling her bean?

00:28:43.000 That means masturbating.

00:28:45.000 Oh, okay.

00:28:46.000 Diddling her bean to pictures of Ryan that she had taped to our ceiling.

00:28:50.000 What?

00:28:51.000 Are you for real?

00:28:53.000 No, I'm not for real.

00:28:54.000 I made up that last part.

00:28:55.000 He ended it with say hi to Ryan.

00:28:58.000 That is terrible, man.

00:28:59.000 Isn't that fucked up?

00:29:00.000 It's terrible.

00:29:01.000 Where else could we move?

00:29:03.000 Let's say when Trump's out of here, I think we're all going to be, all of our Google searches are going to be like incriminating to some degree and we're doomed.

00:29:12.000 Let's go extreme.

00:29:13.000 What if he was a member of an actual Nazi group?

00:29:17.000 I know your first instinct is, well, fire him.

00:29:20.000 But the pretense is if you are in, like, what if he's a Satanist?

00:29:26.000 That's probably easier for liberals to digest.

00:29:28.000 Should he, can he not be a cop?

00:29:30.000 Because the implications are interrupting.

00:29:31.000 But the implication is if he's a Satanist and then he sees some priest dying, he's going to just go die, bitch.

00:29:37.000 Or not going to want to work on a case that's pro-Christian.

00:29:40.000 So the argument with the Nazi thing is if you're a firefighter, you won't go save a black family's, you'll let a black family's home burn.

00:29:48.000 I don't believe that to be true.

00:29:50.000 And good thing is it's not a one-man job.

00:29:52.000 You have your peers around.

00:29:54.000 Well, Marty can't come.

00:29:55.000 He's racist.

00:29:56.000 So it's a black part of town.

00:29:57.000 So let's get John on.

00:29:59.000 Yeah, I'll catch you on the way back.

00:30:00.000 I'll put on some burgers.

00:30:03.000 Even that totally extreme scenario, which isn't the case here, is still dumb.

00:30:08.000 Like there was an EMT who got fired for being a proud boy.

00:30:11.000 And they were honestly saying that he wouldn't service people of color.

00:30:16.000 That's the Shane Gillis.

00:30:17.000 The Shane Gillis.

00:30:17.000 And let them die.

00:30:18.000 I'll tell you what.

00:30:19.000 Sketch all of them.

00:30:20.000 These Hasidic Jewish EMTs.

00:30:23.000 I have seen them with my own eyes do that.

00:30:25.000 I saw them go up to an accident where a Hasidic guy and a black guy were in a car accident, and the black guy was messed up, and they walked past him to the Jewish guy.

00:30:36.000 So they shouldn't be allowed to do EMT.

00:30:36.000 Wow.

00:30:39.000 They clearly have ethnic preferences.

00:30:43.000 But you don't really see it outside of a really solid group like Hasidic Jews or Amish or black Hebrew Israelites.

00:30:51.000 Really cut off cultural.

00:30:53.000 The Proud Boys is just the water buffaloes that Fred and Barney are in.

00:30:57.000 Yes, they get into fights when people attack them.

00:31:00.000 They saved Ann Coulter's life last week.

00:31:03.000 There is so little to try to attach onto the Proud Boys to do anything, doing anything wrong that that's why they hit our guys so hard because they just got nothing.

00:31:13.000 They knew that another thing like this was not going to happen.

00:31:16.000 So they're like, well, even though this isn't bad, let's try to make it something.

00:31:20.000 Yeah.

00:31:20.000 Well, look at Roger Stone.

00:31:23.000 You know what I want to do?

00:31:24.000 I want to put together a video on how to red pill liberals.

00:31:26.000 There you go.

00:31:27.000 Because there's a few things you can do.

00:31:29.000 They're like magic pills.

00:31:30.000 Here's just off the top of my dome.

00:31:32.000 One, you explain to them that illegal immigration only benefits rich white people in both countries.

00:31:39.000 The Vincente Foxes and the Carlos Slims of Mexico.

00:31:43.000 I think Carlos is Lebanese.

00:31:45.000 And the rich white CEOs of America.

00:31:49.000 It hurts the poor.

00:31:50.000 So that gets the race shit out of their heads.

00:31:53.000 Another magic button, David Shortel.

00:31:57.000 Just throw that name out.

00:31:59.000 How was he at Roger Stones?

00:32:01.000 We talked about this yesterday.

00:32:02.000 That's the Aaron thread that unravels the whole sweater.

00:32:04.000 How did CNN know the FBI was going to be there within 15 minutes?

00:32:08.000 15 minutes.

00:32:10.000 Oh, that's a stupid inside joke with myself.

00:32:12.000 Yeah, what is that?

00:32:13.000 It's so dumb.

00:32:14.000 You looked at me like I should know.

00:32:16.000 I had an air hockey table in my house.

00:32:19.000 And when you start a game, it says, game set, 15 minutes.

00:32:25.000 You're supposed to know what my air hockey table says.

00:32:27.000 And then the third one, did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself?

00:32:32.000 Those all come across as apolitical, and it's a good way to just get them sort of at least skeptical of authority.

00:32:39.000 That's my real beef here.

00:32:41.000 That's really the purpose of this show: to encourage people to question authority.

00:32:46.000 If you see your niece drunk at school, handle it.

00:32:49.000 Don't go to an administrator.

00:32:51.000 What the fuck?

00:32:52.000 Oh, and you know what else I heard about that?

00:32:54.000 The administrator was some affirmative action hire, some chick who had been on the job for a week.

00:33:01.000 Wait, one more time.

00:33:02.000 I'm sorry.

00:33:02.000 You're looking up air hockey tables.

00:33:04.000 Don't.

00:33:05.000 Okay.

00:33:07.000 The woman who fired him had been on the job for a week.

00:33:10.000 Oh, another minor detail.

00:33:12.000 And this isn't that important, but it is to the community.

00:33:14.000 He's brought that high school to the state championships like 12 times in a row.

00:33:19.000 So they're a legendary football team.

00:33:23.000 Probably because they're all black.

00:33:25.000 That's true.

00:33:27.000 Okay.

00:33:30.000 So before, I wanted to catch up on some mail today.

00:33:32.000 How are we doing for time?

00:33:33.000 We got plenty of time, right?

00:33:34.000 How are we doing for Dod?

00:33:35.000 How are we doing for Dode?

00:33:37.000 Very good.

00:33:38.000 Meaning of the word normal.

00:33:39.000 Yeah.

00:33:40.000 Right?

00:33:41.000 Traditionally, nature imposes boundaries on us.

00:33:44.000 If I were to say, hey, you know what?

00:33:46.000 I'm going to, I feel like I'm a doad.

00:33:49.000 And I start jumping around.

00:33:52.000 Well, normal.

00:33:52.000 It's better than I remembered it.

00:33:54.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:33:54.000 It's just, it's never like that.

00:33:56.000 Dod.

00:33:57.000 It's like, how would you spell that?

00:33:58.000 T-C-H-O-D-E.

00:34:02.000 No, T-C-H-O-D-T-E.

00:34:05.000 Doad.

00:34:05.000 Dod, doad.

00:34:06.000 Doad, doad.

00:34:08.000 Play it again.

00:34:09.000 Okay.

00:34:09.000 Let's make it a soundbite.

00:34:11.000 Yes.

00:34:14.000 Oh, man.

00:34:14.000 He says it a few times, doesn't he?

00:34:16.000 Twice.

00:34:17.000 Traditionally, nature imposes boundaries on us.

00:34:20.000 If I were to say, hey, you know what?

00:34:21.000 I'm going to, I feel like I'm a toad.

00:34:28.000 Now, what if I were to tell you that I'm a road?

00:34:30.000 Folks at home, if you're trying to do a Dinesh toad and you don't like that crazy spelling I just did, just do D-O-D-E.

00:34:37.000 Dode.

00:34:38.000 Doad.

00:34:38.000 Right?

00:34:38.000 Doad.

00:34:39.000 And I start jumping around in a pond.

00:34:41.000 Well, most of you will think, that is crazy Dinesh thinks he's a toad.

00:34:46.000 We have to, I want to riff on that somewhat like things that rhyme where he's like, crazy Dinesh thinks he's a doad.

00:34:52.000 Imagine I was a road and I was lying around on the ground and cars were driving over me and I had yellow paint on me.

00:34:58.000 You would say, oh, that's crazy Dinesh lying on the road getting mauled by vehicles.

00:35:02.000 Now, whatever.

00:35:03.000 We just got to keep riffing on toad or that thing.

00:35:07.000 You didn't like that, did you?

00:35:08.000 Well, you reminded me that Abbos are so useless that they have to have commercials in Australia telling them not to sleep on the road.

00:35:15.000 Kidding me.

00:35:15.000 Wow.

00:35:16.000 Did you not know this?

00:35:17.000 No.

00:35:17.000 So ABBOs, I think, is their N-word.

00:35:19.000 You're not supposed to say that, but Australian Aboriginal people.

00:35:23.000 Why can't you say ABBOS?

00:35:25.000 It's just an abbreviation of Aboriginals.

00:35:27.000 Or Japs.

00:35:27.000 There's way too many syllables in Aboriginals.

00:35:30.000 Yeah, Japs.

00:35:32.000 Japs.

00:35:32.000 In the army, they call Pakistanis the PACs.

00:35:35.000 That's not PAKIS.

00:35:36.000 Packy doesn't seem that bad to me.

00:35:39.000 How about Nazi?

00:35:40.000 Calling someone a Nazi, I think that is arguably as bad as, if you will, the N-word.

00:35:48.000 I mean, it ruins your career.

00:35:49.000 It gets you fired from your entire career.

00:35:51.000 I think he's done with law enforcement.

00:35:53.000 And it trivializes the Holocaust.

00:35:55.000 Yeah.

00:35:55.000 And actual Nazis who actually killed folks.

00:35:58.000 Yeah.

00:35:59.000 Weird.

00:35:59.000 Terrible.

00:36:00.000 And trivializes the victims.

00:36:02.000 Boy, you're not.

00:36:03.000 Americans have trouble with words like trivializing.

00:36:05.000 Trivialize.

00:36:07.000 Tribalized.

00:36:08.000 What are you trying to find right now?

00:36:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:09.000 Aboriginal sleeping.

00:36:12.000 I didn't know.

00:36:13.000 Hey, guys, don't sleep on the road.

00:36:14.000 It's dangerous.

00:36:16.000 I don't have to tell my six-year-old.

00:36:19.000 We need to keep ourselves and our countrymen safe.

00:36:22.000 You never know when a car is going to come along.

00:36:25.000 Actually, you sleep on the road.

00:36:26.000 Not for sleeping, for playing around.

00:36:29.000 Why would you sleep on the road?

00:36:30.000 Never sleep on the road, it says.

00:36:32.000 Because Darwinism.

00:36:35.000 Is it because there's less bugs or something?

00:36:37.000 There's more of a breeze?

00:36:39.000 Maybe it retains warmth.

00:36:41.000 Sleep on the road?

00:36:42.000 Let's get road safety right.

00:36:44.000 Authorized by the Northern Territory Government.

00:36:46.000 Yeah, there's tons of those.

00:36:47.000 Wow.

00:36:47.000 That's usually how you can tell that a culture is in trouble.

00:36:51.000 When they have commercials that say, don't sleep on the road, or in India, please don't shit all over the place.

00:36:55.000 Now, if you have a TV and you're still sleeping on the road, like that commercial shouldn't point out.

00:37:01.000 Do they watch the commercial?

00:37:04.000 Do they, I don't know, that's too much.

00:37:07.000 I don't want a West.

00:37:08.000 The West is the best.

00:37:10.000 By the way, speaking of the West is the best, some student sent me a video and he's arguing in his class about Proud Boys and Western chauvinism.

00:37:18.000 And I don't think the teacher knows what chauvinism means.

00:37:20.000 It doesn't mean sexism.

00:37:21.000 It means extreme patriotism, nationalism, extreme fervor, passion.

00:37:28.000 So you can be a donut chauvinist and it just means you're obsessed with donuts.

00:37:31.000 We are Western chauvinists in that we think the West is the best.

00:37:34.000 So he said, the teacher said, yeah, but Western means mostly European.

00:37:40.000 And I'd argue that, by the way.

00:37:43.000 And that's mostly white.

00:37:44.000 So if you're a Western chauvinist, you're a white supremacist.

00:37:47.000 And I thought, well, first of all, I don't take that for, I think the West includes Israel, Australia, the ABCs of South America, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, a lot of different countries, Canada, and of course America.

00:38:01.000 And America is the best in the West.

00:38:03.000 And America is only, what, 75% white?

00:38:06.000 But anyway, that's the Nazi glasses, Nazi glasses, where everything is racial to you.

00:38:13.000 And the reason this is a logical fallacy is simple.

00:38:17.000 We don't choose the West based on race.

00:38:20.000 We choose it because, especially America, it's based on self-determination, liberty, freedom, grit, busting your ass, working hard.

00:38:31.000 The beauty of America is you can be a fucking retard, but if you bust your ass, you're going to be making $100,000 a year.

00:38:39.000 Now, it'll take maybe 10 years, but I don't care if you're sweeping a bodega, if you work your ass off and get above 60 hours a week, in 10 years you'll be making 100 grand.

00:38:50.000 Cops, firemen, get in a union, plumber, electrician, start out with a trade.

00:38:55.000 That dude who we had on the show, the black guy, who's cleaning medical equipment, I guarantee after 10 years, he'll be making 100 grand a year.

00:39:02.000 That's another reason why welfare just handicaps people.

00:39:05.000 It's like if you're just rolling around in a scooter all your life, never using your legs.

00:39:09.000 You're no farther.

00:39:10.000 If you sweep a bodega for three days, your boss goes, Wow, that guy's a hard worker.

00:39:15.000 Maybe I'll give him some sweat equity on the new bodega I'm opening, and he can be like 10% owner if he opens and closes it, and I don't have to worry about it.

00:39:23.000 So you're farther ahead with those three days of sweeping.

00:39:26.000 There's welfare, it's just groundhog day.

00:39:28.000 You're always back to zero, always back to zero.

00:39:31.000 Always got to be pumped for your job.

00:39:32.000 And you're a fucking loser.

00:39:34.000 People that work in Duncan, like, I don't know what happens where there's something where they get the job, they tell their mother, you know, they're about like a 17-year-old inner city kid.

00:39:42.000 They don't really want to work there, but they're excited they got the job.

00:39:45.000 When they get the paycheck, they're happy.

00:39:46.000 And then somewhere down the line, they're just like, fuck this.

00:39:49.000 And then they just treat you like shit.

00:39:51.000 They don't work really well.

00:39:52.000 It's just like, I go to, you know, in Harlem, that stop on Harlem 125th, that Wendy's is just, it's like the Congo.

00:40:00.000 It's just fucking, people are throwing shit in the back and like, did that sound racist?

00:40:04.000 Because it had Congress?

00:40:04.000 Yeah, that did sound really racist.

00:40:06.000 But I'm not done with my analogy.

00:40:07.000 The point I was making is, say you love chess, and people go, well, you're clearly a Russian supremacist.

00:40:13.000 And you go, what?

00:40:14.000 How?

00:40:15.000 Well, most professional chess players are Russian.

00:40:18.000 So if you like chess, then you're a Russian supremacist.

00:40:21.000 But no, I like the game.

00:40:23.000 I never even thought about who are the majority of good players.

00:40:27.000 Well, too bad.

00:40:29.000 You think Russians are better than other people.

00:40:31.000 You know what I think of that?

00:40:39.000 By the way, the person that should not be mentioned anymore, QT, are his initials?

00:40:44.000 We said we'll never talk about again.

00:40:46.000 He was on the Tyra Bank show because he likes feet so much.

00:40:49.000 And Tyra had this whole foot thing, and he farts in that video.

00:40:53.000 So it's kind of like a merging of the worlds.

00:40:55.000 Good to know.

00:40:56.000 Yep.

00:40:57.000 All right, should we go over some mail?

00:40:59.000 We're way behind.

00:40:59.000 We shall.

00:41:04.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.

00:41:10.000 Let me touch it.

00:41:14.000 Good afternoon, Gavin and the retard.

00:41:17.000 Me.

00:41:17.000 That would be you, I guess.

00:41:19.000 Holy shit, is college a waste of time and money.

00:41:22.000 I went to community college for two years in order to figure out a major and save money.

00:41:24.000 I mistakenly decided to go into finance in order to impress some girl and transferred to Boston College, mistake number one, as an econ major, mistake number two, and was recruited to run track, mistake number three.

00:41:35.000 Thanks to Title IX, the men's track team did not get scholarships, but the women's team did.

00:41:41.000 You know what Title IX is, right?

00:41:42.000 Where it's purported to be a thing where women should have the right to be part of sports.

00:41:48.000 But that's the premise they start out with.

00:41:50.000 But what it really is, is affirmative action socialism, forcing women's sports to be as popular as men's sports.

00:41:56.000 And it's just not.

00:41:57.000 Women aren't as good at sports.

00:41:59.000 Look at women's basketball versus men's basketball.

00:41:59.000 Sorry.

00:42:02.000 Now imagine the government forced women's basketball to be as big as men's basketball.

00:42:07.000 Like, what do you do?

00:42:08.000 Pay people to go watch it?

00:42:12.000 So I had to foot the bill.

00:42:14.000 Here at the prestigious institution, I essentially took out a mortgage to pay $160,000 for two and a half years of education.

00:42:21.000 $160,000.

00:42:24.000 Like $80,000 a year is a very good salary.

00:42:26.000 You can live in Manhattan on that and be like a guy who goes to restaurants and is never short of cash.

00:42:34.000 Where I learned queer theology.

00:42:37.000 Apparently, Jesus was in fact transgender.

00:42:39.000 Male athletes are rapists.

00:42:40.000 I refused to go to any consent classes that were mandatory for male athletes.

00:42:44.000 And was taught theoretical economics by professors who read off PowerPoint slides and had never actually worked in the field in which they taught.

00:42:51.000 Yeah, I'd imagine finance is one of those things where that whole, if you can't do, teach, is in overdrive.

00:42:58.000 Because if you're good at finance, you're just being less.

00:43:00.000 I'm being good at it, if you will.

00:43:02.000 I will.

00:43:03.000 The Sutton Body was also repugnant, composed of rich kids, had no worldview or were guilty about their white privilege, while minorities on campus, minus the rather wealthy Asians, felt compelled to shout out their oppression.

00:43:14.000 I cannot remonstrate.

00:43:16.000 I don't know that word.

00:43:18.000 I'll Google it.

00:43:19.000 No, I'll look it up because you're the retard, according to this.

00:43:23.000 Remonstrate.

00:43:24.000 Make a forcefully reproachful protest.

00:43:27.000 Huh.

00:43:28.000 So how is it different from demonstrate?

00:43:31.000 Because it's in protest.

00:43:32.000 And demonstrate is, I guess, to show somebody, and then remonstrate is to.

00:43:36.000 What is the difference between demonstrate and remonstrate?

00:43:40.000 Despite all the protests you hear from big tech, there's simple privacy, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:43:44.000 Sorry.

00:43:44.000 They are unrelated, so the difference is everything.

00:43:46.000 Demonstrate means to explain something by showing or exhibiting.

00:43:49.000 Remonstrate means to forcefully protest about something.

00:43:53.000 So a demonstration is a bunch of people remonstrating.

00:43:58.000 Okay, sorry.

00:43:59.000 I'm sorry I'm such a toad.

00:44:02.000 I agree with you that college is meant for those who want to go into STEM or perhaps a savant who wants to go into something else.

00:44:07.000 May this be a warning to all.

00:44:09.000 Yeah, I hate school.

00:44:12.000 You know what?

00:44:13.000 I took English.

00:44:15.000 I could have just got a syllabus on Amazon or anywhere on the internet and bought like Dickens and all the classics.

00:44:21.000 I'm reading fucking books from fiction like Wuthering Heights and then discussing it at infinitum.

00:44:27.000 What the fuck am I doing?

00:44:29.000 Dickens was considered like a soap opera guy and Americans in New York would wait on the pier for the next chapter to come so they could see what happened to Sally or Heathcliff.

00:44:41.000 It was like it was soap opera.

00:44:43.000 So I was just, I have a degree in soap operas from the turn of the century.

00:44:47.000 Good work, school.

00:44:48.000 Luckily, it was in Canada and there was no, I had no debt.

00:44:52.000 My tuition was $1,400 a year and I worked as a janitor at the college.

00:44:57.000 So I paid off my tuition as it came in.

00:45:00.000 Anyway, so he goes on and on.

00:45:02.000 You know, this reminds me, too.

00:45:03.000 Not only is...

00:45:07.000 What?

00:45:08.000 Being a janitor.

00:45:10.000 Did you happen to be able to pay that off?

00:45:12.000 Is that one of many people that was able to do that?

00:45:13.000 It was just a job and I was already at school, No, there's no program.

00:45:17.000 I got a job.

00:45:18.000 Oh, okay.

00:45:19.000 But you know what he did?

00:45:20.000 He hated us because we were middle class and he thought we didn't work hard enough.

00:45:24.000 He was a brutal alcoholic.

00:45:26.000 One time I lost all of the keys for the whole school.

00:45:30.000 You know, that giant ring that has like 700 keys on it.

00:45:32.000 I just lost it.

00:45:33.000 Wow.

00:45:34.000 And he couldn't deal with it.

00:45:35.000 So he drank a bottle of booze and stayed in the office all night.

00:45:39.000 So when we came in at five in the morning, ready to, I don't know, try to find out how to open any of the doors, he's just like, Do you mind telling me how you lose every single key in the school?

00:45:51.000 And then he went and hugged the secretary after yelling at me, and he crushed her ribs.

00:45:58.000 So he was put on temporary leave.

00:46:01.000 Wow.

00:46:02.000 Yeah.

00:46:03.000 And then they signed a petition to get him back, but the petition was started by the bar on campus and all the local bar flies who go to that bar.

00:46:11.000 So it didn't make him look very good.

00:46:13.000 All the alcohol salesmen want him back.

00:46:16.000 It is a disaster.

00:46:17.000 You know what he did?

00:46:19.000 He thought, I'm going to fucking get third world Negroes next year.

00:46:24.000 I'm firing all these fucking white assholes, these middle-class kids, and I'm going to get all just like third world hard workers.

00:46:32.000 So anytime he saw an African-looking name or kind of any kind of Hispanic or weird name, he signed them up.

00:46:38.000 But if you're from another country and you're going to college in America or Canada, you're paying full price, like 60 grand.

00:46:45.000 So they're all aristocrats.

00:46:47.000 Yes, they're from Africa.

00:46:48.000 They're from the United Nations.

00:46:50.000 So they'd have ascots and suits on and smoke a pipe.

00:46:53.000 And they were black, but they also spoke like, hell, how are you?

00:46:57.000 So I understand you want us sweeping.

00:46:59.000 What do we use?

00:47:00.000 What is this broom you speak of?

00:47:04.000 Anyway.

00:47:05.000 And I like, they act like royalty, basically, because they might be.

00:47:09.000 When I worked at that hostel.

00:47:10.000 They is!

00:47:11.000 They is royalty!

00:47:13.000 Like, you will have my bugs and bring them to my room.

00:47:16.000 You ever see?

00:47:17.000 I'm not doing that.

00:47:18.000 It's not part of my job, if you will.

00:47:21.000 You ever see Mugabe's kids on Instagram?

00:47:24.000 Zimbabwe is gone.

00:47:26.000 It was Rhodesia.

00:47:27.000 They killed all the farmers, as they're doing in South Africa.

00:47:30.000 Ran out of food.

00:47:31.000 Everyone died.

00:47:32.000 Total fucking chaos.

00:47:34.000 Their dollar bill was, I think it was $14 million in Zimbabwe for a cheeseburger.

00:47:40.000 Meanwhile, the kids of Zimbabwe are running around the world with fucking diamond Rolexes.

00:47:50.000 Yep.

00:47:51.000 Socialism works for the children of the leaders.

00:47:54.000 You know who else is like this is the head of Venezuela's...

00:48:01.000 Robert Mugabe Jr.'s Batmobile.

00:48:06.000 These pigs.

00:48:11.000 Yeah, Villichez, Herve Villichez's daughter is worth, I think, $3.5 billion.

00:48:17.000 And people are eating cats.

00:48:19.000 Yet you go to school and everyone is a fucking socialist.

00:48:23.000 But sorry, that guy with the college letter reminded me of these feckless conservatives.

00:48:28.000 So I'm always accused of condoning violence when I say fight back.

00:48:31.000 We are living in such a time of fear.

00:48:37.000 We're so scared of confrontation that we don't behave like normal human beings.

00:48:40.000 Maybe it's because there's cameras on us at all times.

00:48:43.000 But I just see these college conservatives.

00:48:45.000 Remember the guy we were making fun of yesterday who she grabs his paper that says all lives matter, hits it at him, and then he puts his hands in his pockets and he goes, call the police.

00:48:55.000 Which even he thinks that's brave.

00:48:57.000 Like, I'm going to actually file charges.

00:48:59.000 I'm a badass.

00:49:00.000 But I've noticed this with college conservatives.

00:49:04.000 They're all pussies.

00:49:06.000 If you have a table out, this is 1.7.

00:49:08.000 If you have a table out and you've got all your things and they're not racist, it's not a bunch of swastika patches and how to lynch, a little handbook.

00:49:17.000 It's just like American flags and things about liberty and the trouble with socialism, which we just saw with our own two eyes, the trouble with socialism, right?

00:49:26.000 These billionaire heirs to the corrupt dictators.

00:49:31.000 That's all he's trying.

00:49:32.000 He's actually trying to help them.

00:49:33.000 He's trying to educate them.

00:49:35.000 And if you were smart and you were a socialist and you didn't like that, you could argue with him.

00:49:39.000 But this is how they treat college conservatives.

00:49:42.000 And I'm mad at the conservatives in this video.

00:49:44.000 You're a press man.

00:49:45.000 You have common sense.

00:49:46.000 You got into the school, but obviously you're dumb as fuck.

00:49:49.000 I got to know if you can talk to me.

00:49:53.000 You want to win on a time menu?

00:49:54.000 Look, they're taking her table down.

00:49:56.000 And because she's never had a real job, she doesn't know how those tables work.

00:50:00.000 Like, she's never done anything with her legs.

00:50:03.000 Look, she can't quite figure it out.

00:50:05.000 What do you just kick at it?

00:50:06.000 Is that how it works?

00:50:07.000 See that little ring that's preventing the hinge?

00:50:09.000 Yeah, you move that.

00:50:10.000 It's just basic physics.

00:50:11.000 Right.

00:50:12.000 Maybe you should take a course in folding tables at your college.

00:50:16.000 Go.

00:50:16.000 Got that one down.

00:50:17.000 Oh, it's not going all the way.

00:50:19.000 Huh.

00:50:19.000 She just helps her?

00:50:20.000 She's like, you know, I can't watch this.

00:50:21.000 It's a two-person job.

00:50:25.000 It's weird, too, seeing the Asians jump in on this.

00:50:27.000 Like, we're sick of your racism, too.

00:50:29.000 We're not here just to build the railroads.

00:50:32.000 Like, you're the most successful ethnic group in the country.

00:50:36.000 You're like seven places above whites as far as successful ethnicities.

00:50:41.000 And you're like, I'm sick of this oppression.

00:50:43.000 I'm sick of our average income being twice the average American salary.

00:50:48.000 Look, they just give up.

00:50:49.000 Ah, well, I can't fold it.

00:50:50.000 And they walk away.

00:50:52.000 But look, she's just taking all this shit.

00:50:56.000 Now, here's the question, folks at home.

00:50:58.000 What do you do?

00:50:59.000 Keep showing it.

00:51:01.000 What do you do?

00:51:03.000 I would take my phone off the table, first of all.

00:51:06.000 Off the taboo?

00:51:07.000 Off the taboo.

00:51:08.000 That's a bad symbo.

00:51:10.000 Look, she's just taking all this shit and throwing it.

00:51:12.000 Now, she's not stealing it.

00:51:14.000 She's throwing it in the box.

00:51:15.000 So what do you do when someone's doing that?

00:51:17.000 Obviously, I know people at home are like, fucking punch her in the face.

00:51:20.000 Well, you're going to get an assault charge, blah, blah, blah.

00:51:23.000 But I would say the thing that you should do is go around to the other side of the table and say, stop, stop.

00:51:30.000 And if she keeps reaching for it, shove her.

00:51:32.000 Don't you think?

00:51:33.000 Or you could just make her shove you by creating a human barrier like this.

00:51:37.000 They keep going.

00:51:38.000 Look, they're screaming.

00:51:42.000 That woman wants to be black so bad.

00:51:43.000 She's like the whitest.

00:51:45.000 What is this?

00:51:49.000 Let's hear what she has to say.

00:51:51.000 I want to say that the fact that y'all are comfortable to even do this means that we're not doing enough.

00:51:57.000 Every single shot is not even right to begin.

00:52:01.000 Just pause.

00:52:02.000 Did you hear that?

00:52:03.000 The fact that you're even comfortable doing this, he's not having a Klan rally.

00:52:08.000 Yeah.

00:52:08.000 Shows that we have a lot of work to do.

00:52:10.000 And every time these people do this, we need to just pack it up.

00:52:13.000 What if somebody said that to Martin Luther King?

00:52:15.000 They said, you know, the fact that you're even comfortable with holding a march for freedom?

00:52:18.000 Look at his Mercedes-Benz jacket.

00:52:26.000 Look at her.

00:52:26.000 Pack it up.

00:52:27.000 That tall chick.

00:52:28.000 She's ready to throw down.

00:52:30.000 Look at that pussy with the hood.

00:52:34.000 Get them out of your face.

00:52:38.000 You know what else you should do in this kind of scenario?

00:52:41.000 Is be loud.

00:52:42.000 Bark at them.

00:52:44.000 Like, get the fuck out of my face.

00:52:46.000 Get back.

00:52:47.000 You have to establish authority.

00:52:49.000 When you're sitting there sheepishly looking down and just filming passively, they're going to overpower you.

00:52:54.000 This is not a safe situation, by the way.

00:53:00.000 I don't know what I would do.

00:53:02.000 I don't think anybody's reasonable.

00:53:03.000 I don't know.

00:53:04.000 Nothing is not the answer.

00:53:05.000 Look, it's always nothing.

00:53:06.000 They're always doing nothing.

00:53:07.000 I wouldn't be there in the first place.

00:53:08.000 People can't, it's just, He probably has to clear it with the school.

00:53:16.000 He did.

00:53:18.000 Look at her.

00:53:20.000 Yeah, why are you shaking?

00:53:23.000 Bob's shaking.

00:53:24.000 You're fucking pussy.

00:53:25.000 You're not black just because you braided your hair.

00:53:28.000 If she was to just comb her hair straight, no one would know she's black.

00:53:32.000 She's not.

00:53:33.000 She's like Dominican or something.

00:53:36.000 Okay, this is it.

00:53:37.000 This is what I...

00:53:38.000 No peace.

00:53:39.000 No racist.

00:53:40.000 Police.

00:53:41.000 No justice.

00:53:44.000 You catching this?

00:53:45.000 The police are racist for protecting him.

00:53:48.000 So he's racist for being Republican, and then the police are racist for not arresting him, for being a Republican.

00:53:56.000 I mean, the country's 50% right-wing, is it not?

00:53:59.000 You know what I would say?

00:54:00.000 I'd say I will leave right now if you tell me who the Prime Minister of Canada is.

00:54:06.000 I'm happy to leave.

00:54:07.000 Just tell me what capital gains tax is.

00:54:09.000 Right.

00:54:10.000 Or what it is in America or the state of whatever state they're in.

00:54:14.000 Yes.

00:54:16.000 Tell me the difference between the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and I'm gone.

00:54:20.000 What is the last amendment of the Constitution?

00:54:22.000 Name any amendment besides the first two.

00:54:27.000 The right to kiss my ass.

00:54:29.000 That's what you'll hear.

00:54:30.000 No racist, no police, no justice, no police.

00:54:35.000 Are you standing here to watch?

00:54:36.000 We got coffee for people.

00:54:37.000 Hey, you have some coffee?

00:54:38.000 Talk to us.

00:54:39.000 Look, this is it.

00:54:40.000 They just played it.

00:54:41.000 Go back.

00:54:42.000 No justice to me.

00:54:45.000 They just shut down.

00:54:45.000 You're actively morning against me.

00:54:48.000 You want me to protect it?

00:54:49.000 Because you shut down it from the vet.

00:54:53.000 You don't even know me.

00:54:54.000 You know nothing about me.

00:54:59.000 I didn't know he was white.

00:55:00.000 That's the money shot.

00:55:01.000 Great point.

00:55:03.000 You're white.

00:55:03.000 End of discussion.

00:55:04.000 I mean, does that sum it up or what?

00:55:07.000 We're arguing with retards.

00:55:09.000 There's no need to waste the wisdom.

00:55:12.000 We're arguing with racists.

00:55:15.000 That's the irony of all this.

00:55:16.000 The reason they don't like him is because he's a white male.

00:55:18.000 They are racist and sexist.

00:55:21.000 That's the irony of all this.

00:55:22.000 I'm sitting here pushing for equality and freedom, and they don't want it.

00:55:27.000 These kids are socialists.

00:55:28.000 They want to be oppressed.

00:55:30.000 They want tyranny.

00:55:31.000 They want Zimbabwe.

00:55:32.000 They want Venezuela.

00:55:34.000 You know, my little red pill trick is that I'm saying, let's say everything that white people have ever done, black people did.

00:55:40.000 You know, slavery and all that, everything was reversed.

00:55:42.000 Should we take, should we stop any sort of, should we be racist?

00:55:47.000 Should we treat white people the way we treat black people?

00:55:49.000 Should we flip that around, you know?

00:55:52.000 I've talked to them about that.

00:55:52.000 They say yes all the time.

00:55:54.000 What they want, they don't want equality.

00:55:56.000 They want revenge.

00:55:57.000 Right.

00:55:57.000 So it's sort of like the Indians and that girl, Lexi Page.

00:56:02.000 Remember that story?

00:56:03.000 Oh, geez.

00:56:04.000 So she was removed from her family.

00:56:06.000 I can't watch this without waterworks.

00:56:09.000 She was removed from her family because she's like a 25th American Indian and they found a family that has another, they're not Indians, but one of the kids they adopted is also like a 25th.

00:56:21.000 So let's put her in this home and now we have a 12.5th Indian.

00:56:27.000 It's like the repatriation, bringing Indians together.

00:56:30.000 No one wanted this, but the state did it.

00:56:33.000 And she was torn from her family who loved her, including the family's real kids.

00:56:38.000 They saw Lexi as her sister.

00:56:40.000 Oh, and when Lexi arrived, she had a black eye when she was two.

00:56:44.000 They took her in, raised her for like six years, I think.

00:56:50.000 And then the state took her away because she's Indian.

00:56:52.000 Oh, they're.

00:56:54.000 This is a tough one to watch, man.

00:56:58.000 To all our supporters, you are true angels on earth.

00:57:01.000 I can't watch this.

00:57:02.000 Yeah, that's bad.

00:57:03.000 The worst is seeing the kids cry.

00:57:06.000 That's pretty bad.

00:57:08.000 And I don't, I was going to say they don't understand.

00:57:09.000 I don't understand.

00:57:12.000 But the reason I brought that up is because I was reaching out because I think she's Cherokee or something.

00:57:17.000 And the lawyer, I had the lawyer on my old show who was representing them.

00:57:21.000 I said to the lawyer, how do you not just ball your eyes out?

00:57:23.000 That's right.

00:57:24.000 Yeah, I remember that interview.

00:57:25.000 And they were appealing to the tribe because if the tribe said, we don't give a shit about this, why are you doing this?

00:57:30.000 That would be, that would have a lot of gravitas.

00:57:33.000 And the tribe said that we're not interested.

00:57:36.000 Basically, the subtext I got from the tribe, I forget what tribe it is, but the subtext was, fuck you.

00:57:41.000 Choctaw.

00:57:42.000 Choctaw, that's it.

00:57:43.000 You fucked us.

00:57:45.000 500 years ago, now we're fucking you.

00:57:47.000 How does that feel, bitch?

00:57:50.000 Really bad.

00:57:51.000 Yeah.

00:57:51.000 Well, we were torn from our families.

00:57:53.000 Yeah, I know.

00:57:54.000 That was bad too, though.

00:57:55.000 What are you doing?

00:57:56.000 Is this some eye for an eye bullshit?

00:57:59.000 400 years apart?

00:58:00.000 And by the way, you know who's suffering more than any of these people?

00:58:03.000 Is Lexi Page?

00:58:04.000 The fucking eight-year-old.

00:58:06.000 Lost the six-year-old girl they had raised as their daughter for more than four years.

00:58:12.000 That's crooked.

00:58:13.000 Revenge.

00:58:14.000 Anyway, I have another college thing, 1-9.

00:58:20.000 Where college conservatives are getting abused and just taking it.

00:58:24.000 Like, get fired.

00:58:25.000 Get in trouble.

00:58:25.000 Be brave.

00:58:27.000 Why are you throwing away our stuff?

00:58:29.000 What's your name?

00:58:30.000 What's your name?

00:58:30.000 Why are you throwing away our stuff?

00:58:32.000 What's your name?

00:58:33.000 Why are you throwing away our stuff?

00:58:35.000 So he has a poster up that says college conservatives, whatever, and at Penn State.

00:58:41.000 They tore down the posters, threw them in the garbage, and his revenge is: What's your name?

00:58:46.000 Why are you throwing away our stuff on the loop?

00:58:48.000 Keep playing it?

00:58:49.000 Why are you throwing away our stuff?

00:58:50.000 You don't believe we should have a right to free expression?

00:58:52.000 To advertise for our own events?

00:58:55.000 Then why are you throwing our stuff away?

00:58:57.000 That's vandalism, you know.

00:58:58.000 It's destruction of property.

00:59:00.000 It's actually even theft.

00:59:01.000 You stole our stuff.

00:59:02.000 What's your name?

00:59:03.000 What's your guys' names?

00:59:05.000 I thought you were here to technically stop this.

00:59:09.000 Come on.

00:59:10.000 I'm not afraid of him.

00:59:11.000 What's your name?

00:59:12.000 I'm not afraid of him, clearly.

00:59:14.000 Well, maybe you should be.

00:59:15.000 Maybe you should be.

00:59:16.000 I'm obviously not advocating for violence or punching you in the face, but don't let her take your poster.

00:59:21.000 Get in the way of these people.

00:59:23.000 We've lost our...

00:59:26.000 Ooh, what are you going to do?

00:59:27.000 Shame her?

00:59:27.000 That's such a pussy move.

00:59:29.000 That's such a liberal pussy move.

00:59:31.000 I have an idea.

00:59:32.000 You say, you know, no, listen, I'm mic'd up right now.

00:59:34.000 There's a hidden camera.

00:59:35.000 I'm working for ABC.

00:59:37.000 The what would you do?

00:59:38.000 So it would look really bad if you just are attacking a Trump supporter thing.

00:59:42.000 Yeah, Ryan, that's really brave.

00:59:44.000 No, it's not brave, but it's you're just treating stupid people like stupid people.

00:59:51.000 It's like telling the kid there's a tooth fairy.

00:59:54.000 Yep.

00:59:55.000 So that's enough of that college one.

00:59:57.000 Boy, we're not exactly tearing through these letters, are we?

01:00:00.000 I got a good one about herpes.

01:00:01.000 The guy asked me not to read this on the air.

01:00:03.000 I won't use his name.

01:00:05.000 Ready?

01:00:06.000 Yes.

01:00:06.000 How are we doing for time?

01:00:08.000 Good.

01:00:09.000 How long have we been talking for?

01:00:11.000 We're over.

01:00:12.000 Yeah, we're about 10, 15 minutes over.

01:00:14.000 We've read one letter.

01:00:16.000 Yes.

01:00:16.000 This was supposed to be the letters show.

01:00:17.000 That's correct.

01:00:20.000 My girlfriend was diagnosed visually today with genital herpes.

01:00:24.000 As someone who has this issue, I have a few questions.

01:00:27.000 I had many, many, many, many, many, many sexual partners in my 15 years of meth use.

01:00:33.000 Probably about 415 total partners.

01:00:36.000 I am almost 38 and have never had an outbreak or anything that would have alarmed me to the fact that I have herpes.

01:00:43.000 He's talking about something I shouldn't say.

01:00:45.000 I'm just curious if, A, it's possible to have and carry herpes without ever seeing symptoms.

01:00:52.000 And B, if it's possible to have a long and happy relationship with children if I do actually have it.

01:00:56.000 Don't ignore this.

01:00:57.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:00:59.000 All right.

01:01:02.000 I have herpes.

01:01:05.000 You can make that a gif.

01:01:08.000 I think I got it from a girl I was dating who was a stripper, and she had been a sex worker.

01:01:13.000 And I think I got genital herpes from her.

01:01:16.000 But she denies it because she tested negative.

01:01:19.000 She did porn.

01:01:21.000 I know I really know how to pick them, don't I?

01:01:23.000 She did porn, and you have to get tested regularly, and she was always negative for herpes.

01:01:29.000 This is a crazy theory I have, but I think she was carrying it and didn't have it.

01:01:35.000 Now, there's these prostitutes they had in Africa who were immune to HIV.

01:01:41.000 And the way they got HIV was by stopping prostitution and going back to their little villages where it was allowed to fester.

01:01:49.000 But the constant exposure to HIV actually made them immune, just like having a shot.

01:01:53.000 So I bet they could be having the HIV, but they didn't have it.

01:01:58.000 That's actually not a good example of the prostitutes.

01:02:00.000 That's a different phenomenon.

01:02:02.000 But here's the good news, sir.

01:02:04.000 Herpes is no big deal.

01:02:06.000 I've had every STD under the sun, gonorrhea, chlamydia.

01:02:10.000 I haven't had Crabs, venereal warts.

01:02:13.000 None of them are a big deal.

01:02:15.000 Most of them are antibiotics.

01:02:16.000 Venerea warts, you could just get sprayed with liquid nitrogen.

01:02:21.000 Although there's now a pill you can take where you're immune to papillomavirus.

01:02:26.000 HPV.

01:02:28.000 So herpes is the worst one.

01:02:30.000 You have an outbreak.

01:02:31.000 It's really uncomfortable.

01:02:33.000 And then you have another outbreak like six months later.

01:02:37.000 But your number of outbreaks keeps doubling in time.

01:02:41.000 Your break keeps doubling.

01:02:42.000 So first you get it every six months, then you get it every year.

01:02:45.000 Then you get it every two years.

01:02:47.000 Soon you're getting it every 10 years.

01:02:49.000 Like I had a genital outbreak.

01:02:51.000 I probably had three in my life and they were pretty close together.

01:02:54.000 Now it's nothing.

01:02:55.000 I'll get a cold sore on my mouth if I'm stressed out, but that's only 10 days.

01:02:59.000 And that shit they have at the store, at the CVS, really takes the pain off.

01:03:05.000 It's just embarrassing to have a cold sore on your face.

01:03:07.000 So don't worry about it, dude.

01:03:08.000 Weird.

01:03:08.000 Sounds like you really dodged a bullet being a mess head and only having herpes, not AIDS.

01:03:14.000 I don't think I've ever had one SGD in my whole dang life.

01:03:18.000 Then you're a loser.

01:03:20.000 You haven't lived.

01:03:21.000 I've slept with a chick or two where I was like, that was a bad one.

01:03:25.000 You know what?

01:03:26.000 A black guy once told me, he said, make sure you wash your dick.

01:03:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:30.000 Right before.

01:03:31.000 And always right after with a chick.

01:03:34.000 I know that sounds retarded.

01:03:35.000 I think it works.

01:03:36.000 I always do.

01:03:37.000 I mean, but.

01:03:37.000 I think it works.

01:03:38.000 Yeah, you don't want those little flakes on the side.

01:03:40.000 I'm not sure you should be coming to me for relationship advice.

01:03:43.000 All right, so maybe we'll do another show.

01:03:45.000 Should be the mailbag, but let's catch up on these knockouts.

01:03:48.000 Okay.

01:03:49.000 This is how we're going to end the show today, just watching people get knocked the fuck out.

01:03:53.000 Yeah.

01:03:54.000 Oh, this is a good one.

01:03:55.000 This is in a hot day in Harlem.

01:03:59.000 I think it's Harlem.

01:04:00.000 It's definitely Manhattan.

01:04:03.000 This guy seems like a fun dude.

01:04:05.000 By the way, just pause.

01:04:07.000 We're about to watch a lot of knockouts.

01:04:10.000 The guy in the white shirt's about to knock out the black guy.

01:04:13.000 Watch his hips.

01:04:15.000 This is one thing I'm learning about boxing.

01:04:16.000 You see this?

01:04:17.000 This is just the messenger.

01:04:19.000 This is nothing.

01:04:21.000 This is where you punch.

01:04:23.000 That's why boxers twist their ankle when they do a right cross because it's all about this thrust.

01:04:30.000 It's all in the hips.

01:04:31.000 This guy is just the postman.

01:04:33.000 The letter is written here.

01:04:36.000 All right, watch what I'm talking about.

01:04:44.000 You see that?

01:04:45.000 Did you see the swivel he had?

01:04:46.000 That's it, bro.

01:04:53.000 Video in slow motion a couple times?

01:04:56.000 No.

01:04:57.000 Look at him.

01:04:57.000 He is out.

01:04:58.000 Dude, just stay there.

01:04:59.000 Stay down.

01:05:00.000 Stay down.

01:05:02.000 I would love to knock someone out.

01:05:04.000 It must feel so cool when someone else starts to fight.

01:05:07.000 He's like, dude, calm down, calm down, calm down.

01:05:09.000 You're making a big mistake.

01:05:10.000 Like Tommy Robinson, when he's saying that guy, Mike, take it easy.

01:05:13.000 It's going to be two hits.

01:05:14.000 Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.

01:05:16.000 And then he just goes, and then you just walk away.

01:05:19.000 That's the coolest thing to do in the world.

01:05:22.000 I like how the title of it is Dude KO'd on a hot day outside of McDonald's in New York City.

01:05:27.000 Perfect description.

01:05:28.000 Like, you could look that up.

01:05:29.000 Yeah, I don't have to watch the video now.

01:05:32.000 You know, some movies that you're talking about.

01:05:33.000 Hey, you want to watch a video?

01:05:34.000 Close your eyes.

01:05:35.000 Dude knocked out in New York City in front of McDonald's on a hot day.

01:05:39.000 You know, it'd be funny if it's like those movies that say the name of the movie in the movie.

01:05:43.000 Where it's like, dude, you just got knocked out on a hot day outside of McDonald's in New York City.

01:05:46.000 Motherfucker's about to get knocked out on a hot day in New York City in front of McDonald's.

01:05:50.000 Breaks the fourth wall.

01:05:51.000 Like, oh, that was really unfortunate.

01:05:53.000 Okay, now you're never going to guess who gets knocked out in this one.

01:05:55.000 Let's see.

01:05:59.000 Let's go full screen on this one.

01:06:00.000 Coming up.

01:06:01.000 coming up.

01:06:01.000 Oh, is he hearing it?

01:06:04.000 Yeah.

01:06:05.000 Wait, is he So he's in a chokehold.

01:06:08.000 I think...

01:06:09.000 I think the guy on the ground...

01:06:17.000 I think the guy on the ground is unconscious after that chokehold.

01:06:21.000 So that chick is pissed in the taupe slacks.

01:06:28.000 And they don't like this security guard.

01:06:30.000 She's had enough of his bullshit with her little Reeboks on and her denim coat.

01:06:36.000 Look, the guy's out.

01:06:37.000 Is he out or is he just lying there passive?

01:06:39.000 I think he's out.

01:06:40.000 So the security guard is saying, lady, someone get her away from me.

01:06:43.000 Calm her down.

01:06:44.000 Bam.

01:06:45.000 Wow, don't do that.

01:06:46.000 Look.

01:06:47.000 He's out.

01:06:49.000 Wait, what?

01:06:50.000 Yes.

01:06:52.000 Oh, no.

01:06:52.000 What?

01:06:53.000 It's just the perfect kick.

01:06:54.000 Holy komoly.

01:06:56.000 Yeah.

01:06:56.000 And he's obviously got a glass jaw.

01:06:58.000 Boom.

01:06:59.000 Wait, let me see it again.

01:07:00.000 God.

01:07:01.000 Let me see it again.

01:07:02.000 Maybe the guy's laying there passive because he disappears after this.

01:07:07.000 Look at this.

01:07:10.000 It's not even a forward kick.

01:07:12.000 It's like a stop.

01:07:14.000 And he's out.

01:07:15.000 And then the green shirt gets up.

01:07:17.000 He's like, no, thanks.

01:07:18.000 I'm out of here.

01:07:19.000 That's the end of that.

01:07:20.000 It's like a relay race.

01:07:21.000 You're in.

01:07:23.000 You can see them lying in bed the next morning going, that was fucking crazy last night.

01:07:28.000 Like the time my wife and I drank AIDS blood.

01:07:31.000 Oh, yeah.

01:07:32.000 I told you that story, right?

01:07:33.000 Yeah.

01:07:33.000 You just went up to a homeless man.

01:07:34.000 It's the stupidest thing I've ever done.

01:07:36.000 It's empathy.

01:07:36.000 We're in New York City in Halloween.

01:07:38.000 We're in the West Village.

01:07:39.000 It's all gay.

01:07:40.000 And they're getting wasted, as gays are wont to do.

01:07:43.000 And I see some guy dressed as a zombie and he's going, help me, help me.

01:07:47.000 And I can't tell if the lesion on his head is part of his costume because he had blood all over him and he was a zombie or if he really did cut his head.

01:07:54.000 So I'm like, I'm not going to call 911 on a wasted guy with zombies.

01:07:58.000 Corn syrup in his hair.

01:07:59.000 So how do I tell if it's corn syrup or actual blood?

01:08:02.000 I know.

01:08:04.000 What a bad decision.

01:08:06.000 I fucking drank his blood.

01:08:08.000 You could never yell at me for any decision ever again.

01:08:10.000 Then my wife did the same thing.

01:08:11.000 She's like, is it corn syrup?

01:08:13.000 We're sitting there feasting on a gay guy.

01:08:15.000 Like actual zombies.

01:08:17.000 We're like cannibals.

01:08:18.000 We're like actual zombies.

01:08:19.000 Yeah, we're drinking blood in the gay part of New York City.

01:08:24.000 We woke up the next morning and I go, we drank AIDS blood last night and my wife had a fucking panic attack.

01:08:29.000 Yeah, no shit.

01:08:31.000 We should have seen your brother.

01:08:33.000 Nah, never mind.

01:08:34.000 We went and got checked.

01:08:35.000 You know, my brother, we have spider crickets in the house and I paid him $100 to eat one.

01:08:40.000 And he crunched it, ate it.

01:08:42.000 They're big spider crickets.

01:08:43.000 And we went to the bar later and I go, oh shit, I'm broke.

01:08:47.000 I didn't bring any money.

01:08:48.000 He goes, don't worry about it, dude.

01:08:49.000 I got $100 of cricket money.

01:08:52.000 He had his cricket money.

01:08:54.000 No, other sane people would think he plays cricket and won a bet.

01:08:58.000 Not that he ate a fucking cricket.

01:09:00.000 Look at another knockout.

01:09:01.000 Ooh, spider crickets are gross.

01:09:04.000 The beauty of being a tree planter is I feel nothing when it comes to bugs.

01:09:08.000 You can put a millipede up my ass.

01:09:12.000 They don't freak me out in the middle.

01:09:13.000 I'll pick you up on that.

01:09:16.000 I'm fucking my wife on the wallpaper.

01:09:18.000 So the black guy fucked the bald guy's wife.

01:09:21.000 Can you zoom out a bit?

01:09:22.000 Interesting.

01:09:23.000 Yes.

01:09:24.000 Well, it's a square, so that's literally all there is to see.

01:09:27.000 Good.

01:09:27.000 I'd rather do that.

01:09:28.000 And see the border?

01:09:29.000 Okay.

01:09:30.000 Okay.

01:09:37.000 He took his jacket off.

01:09:41.000 Ooh, I hate those.

01:09:42.000 Those are unnecessary.

01:09:43.000 Oh, that's enough of those.

01:09:46.000 He did fuck his wife.

01:09:47.000 That's true.

01:09:47.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:48.000 Look at this weird move.

01:09:50.000 You don't deserve shoes.

01:09:52.000 don't want your shoes, but you don't deserve shoes.

01:09:54.000 Anyway, I got to...

01:10:02.000 Owie.

01:10:04.000 You know what was smart about that too?

01:10:07.000 I'll get a Big Mac, please.

01:10:10.000 Get out of there, dude.

01:10:11.000 You might have murdered a man.

01:10:13.000 I beat a dude down.

01:10:14.000 I didn't eat.

01:10:15.000 I'm still hungry.

01:10:16.000 You're still hungry?

01:10:17.000 The smart thing about that one, though, is he just fucking...

01:10:17.000 More hungry.

01:10:20.000 He didn't sit there with the...

01:10:23.000 Let's just get it over with.

01:10:25.000 It's definitely going down.

01:10:26.000 I'm hungry.

01:10:26.000 All right.

01:10:27.000 I got to get a Big Mac.

01:10:28.000 I need nuggets.

01:10:30.000 This is a soccer fight.

01:10:33.000 Who do you think is going to knock out Boom?

01:10:37.000 Yes.

01:10:38.000 I hate the word Boom.

01:10:40.000 Pause.

01:10:40.000 Stop.

01:10:41.000 Pause.

01:10:42.000 Bet DSI.

01:10:47.000 Well, I'll bet you'll buck.

01:10:49.000 Y'all take whoever you don't want.

01:10:52.000 And you haven't seen this?

01:10:54.000 I have seen this.

01:10:54.000 Oh, so okay, let me see.

01:10:56.000 So I think the guy on the right with the darker is that blue instead of the green.

01:11:03.000 Yeah.

01:11:05.000 Do we put the dollar up?

01:11:07.000 Okay, go.

01:11:08.000 Alright.

01:11:09.000 It's time to do it.

01:11:13.000 It's time to do it.

01:11:14.000 You only dollar, by the way.

01:11:16.000 No.

01:11:17.000 Pay me now.

01:11:20.000 Oh, man.

01:11:20.000 Did you see the way his head went back like a dead duck?

01:11:26.000 Okay, give me a dollar.

01:11:27.000 All right, hold on.

01:11:28.000 Watching.

01:11:28.000 Just to make sure.

01:11:30.000 Oh, yeah, okay, you did.

01:11:31.000 Just to make sure.

01:11:32.000 Yeah.

01:11:33.000 So if he's not going to get up and you dropped him like a dude at my local bar, there was a liberal bartender, even though I only hang out at dive bars.

01:11:45.000 It's all blue-collar dudes, all pro-Trump.

01:11:45.000 It was weird.

01:11:48.000 Oh my God, I just remembered the other day.

01:11:50.000 Remember that chick who gave me shit?

01:11:53.000 That's right.

01:11:54.000 She came into the bar again, and she was carrying a Margaret Atwood book.

01:11:59.000 And it's all dudes, old dudes, Archie Bunkers, and like white beards and shit.

01:12:05.000 Like, what are you doing here?

01:12:06.000 And she walks in, like it's her bar.

01:12:08.000 And they go, hey, Chrissy, her name's Chrissy.

01:12:11.000 They go, hey, Chrissy.

01:12:12.000 And she goes, why is everyone so quiet in here?

01:12:14.000 And then I go, hey, Chrissy, come on in, sit down, sweetie.

01:12:18.000 And she goes, oh, and she looks like she's seen a ghost.

01:12:20.000 And then she does a zombie point.

01:12:22.000 And she goes, that's a white supremacist.

01:12:26.000 And then all these old men are looking at her.

01:12:28.000 And she goes, do you know you're with a white supremacist?

01:12:32.000 And then I go, have a seat.

01:12:33.000 And then as she's, and then she goes, oh, and then she starts leaving.

01:12:36.000 She's shaking.

01:12:38.000 And I go, Margaret Atwood wrote that book about Iran.

01:12:41.000 The Handmaid's Tale is about Iran.

01:12:43.000 It's about Muslims.

01:12:44.000 They just switched it to Christians recently, but she was writing it about Muslims.

01:12:48.000 True.

01:12:48.000 Wow.

01:12:49.000 And she storms out.

01:12:50.000 And then the guy next to me goes, what was that about?

01:12:53.000 And then one of the guys goes, I think she was talking to me.

01:12:56.000 Was she talking about me?

01:12:58.000 Basically saying he is a white spirit.

01:13:01.000 How the hell did she know?

01:13:05.000 Well, time to move again.

01:13:06.000 Anyway, at that same bar, I made a bet with the bartender about Trump.

01:13:10.000 And he said, Hillary's going to win.

01:13:12.000 It's going to be a landslide.

01:13:13.000 I'll bet you a beer.

01:13:14.000 And after Trump won, I went in there to collect my beer.

01:13:18.000 And he was kind of hesitant to give me it.

01:13:21.000 And I got to tell you, as a dude, like, I don't care if I lose $400 here or there.

01:13:26.000 And money's not a big thing for me.

01:13:28.000 But if he hadn't given me that beer, I would have burned the bar down.

01:13:32.000 Because it's not righteous.

01:13:33.000 Like, I just can't explain how fucking angry I would have been.

01:13:38.000 Because a man is all about his word.

01:13:40.000 And we had a deal.

01:13:41.000 And to violate that, it sort of goes back to what we were saying about Amy Schumer yesterday, where a man's worst fear is to be ridiculed.

01:13:48.000 Not going through with a bet like that.

01:13:51.000 And it also goes back to the fact that men have a job to do to maintain order.

01:13:55.000 And you would have let order and justice slip away if you didn't punish that.

01:13:59.000 Larry David would say that it's the beginning of chaos.

01:14:02.000 Right.

01:14:03.000 It's chaos.

01:14:05.000 Very pretty, pretty.

01:14:07.000 It's chaos.

01:14:08.000 Yeah.

01:14:09.000 Okay, I'll give you a chance to win your dollar back.

01:14:11.000 All right.

01:14:12.000 That's a fart.

01:14:13.000 That's a thought.

01:14:15.000 That's true.

01:14:16.000 Let's go to the next one.

01:14:18.000 Okay.

01:14:21.000 All right.

01:14:22.000 Who are our contestants?

01:14:22.000 So what do we got here?

01:14:24.000 We've got a shirtless dude and a guy in a plaid shirt.

01:14:28.000 Okay, so those are our two men.

01:14:29.000 Yep.

01:14:29.000 Don't try to cheat by going forward.

01:14:31.000 I'm not.

01:14:32.000 Press play.

01:14:34.000 Well, who do I take?

01:14:35.000 Who do you take?

01:14:35.000 Oh.

01:14:37.000 You know what?

01:14:38.000 I'm taking shirt.

01:14:39.000 No, you know what?

01:14:40.000 I'm taking no shirt.

01:14:41.000 Taking no shirt.

01:14:42.000 Yeah.

01:14:42.000 Okay.

01:14:42.000 Let's go.

01:14:54.000 I should have gone with shirt.

01:14:56.000 Too late.

01:14:59.000 Is it though the wheel's still in spin?

01:15:05.000 I would be nervous if I was fighting that guy.

01:15:07.000 He looks pretty ripped, and I would probably go...

01:15:13.000 Oh my God.

01:15:16.000 Wait, I've seen this before.

01:15:18.000 Unless there's more double knockouts, that's bananas.

01:15:22.000 Look, he's unconscious, and they're fucking throwing him around.

01:15:25.000 That's fucking poor for him.

01:15:27.000 Go back.

01:15:30.000 A double knockout.

01:15:31.000 How often do those happen?

01:15:33.000 I bet there's been like 30 in all of human history.

01:15:36.000 More hole-in-ons than double knockouts, for sure.

01:15:39.000 Wow.

01:15:41.000 It looks so funny, don't you?

01:15:42.000 This is like the straight version of the gay choreographed dance.

01:15:45.000 But when I spar, we hit each other's face at the same time all the time.

01:15:50.000 Because we've both been sort of feeling each other out, and then we both see an opening.

01:15:54.000 And when you go like this, you're obviously open.

01:15:57.000 So it's always.

01:16:00.000 But knockout, that's something else.

01:16:01.000 do you win a dollar?

01:16:02.000 You said that the I lose a dollar because I picked one instead of both.

01:16:10.000 The outcome I said was wrong.

01:16:12.000 So I pay you a dollar.

01:16:13.000 Well, you said the guy without the shirt would knock out the other guy, and he did.

01:16:18.000 But the Simon was going to choose one.

01:16:21.000 Yeah.

01:16:21.000 Okay, let's see this.

01:16:22.000 Is that a wash?

01:16:24.000 Yeah, I'm keeping your dollar.

01:16:25.000 Okay.

01:16:26.000 There's compilations of double knockouts.

01:16:28.000 I know, I don't care.

01:16:29.000 I will concede or whatever.

01:16:31.000 I went through like a thousand knockouts to bring you these.

01:16:34.000 Oh, dude, I should have looked at the link.

01:16:36.000 It said double knockout.

01:16:37.000 Whoopsie doopsies.

01:16:41.000 *Pişt*

01:16:46.000 Short guys should scare you.

01:16:48.000 Guys who take their shirts off should scare you.

01:16:50.000 No, but then sometimes they're always getting their ass kicked, these shirtless dudes.

01:16:54.000 It's like bluffing.

01:16:56.000 Look, he's ready.

01:16:57.000 The way he hiked his shirt up right there, he's ready to rock.

01:17:00.000 And this skinny guy just keeps shoving him.

01:17:03.000 Don't you know to be scared of short dudes?

01:17:06.000 A short dude will kick your fucking ass.

01:17:10.000 Their center of gravity is better, so pushing him is not going to work as good.

01:17:14.000 You have to do like a trip push.

01:17:17.000 I got to say, though, I wish there was more fighting in the world.

01:17:21.000 No, I just wish I saw a really healthy way to resolve problems.

01:17:25.000 Not stabbing, not shooting.

01:17:27.000 Definitely not calling the cops all the time.

01:17:29.000 And not just sitting there letting everyone just take your shit and then filming them.

01:17:33.000 Ooh.

01:17:34.000 It's just a normal 1980s fight.

01:17:37.000 For fights, there shouldn't be police involved.

01:17:39.000 should be refs and there should be rules that know if you hit Wait, stop, stop, stop.

01:17:48.000 All right, who knocks out who?

01:17:52.000 Sleeveless guy or shirtless guy?

01:17:54.000 Who does the knocking out?

01:17:55.000 Well, you've been hyping up the shirtless guy, so I'm going to say shirt guy.

01:17:58.000 Okay.

01:17:59.000 Even though he's a little scrawny and he's mostly been aggressive, but the other guy's kind of been.

01:18:03.000 Shirt guy.

01:18:08.000 I thought it was black shirt.

01:18:10.000 Oh!

01:18:11.000 Uh-oh!

01:18:15.000 His head hit the pavement.

01:18:18.000 He keeps doing that move, that picking up move.

01:18:22.000 You duck and then you go down and you.

01:18:23.000 That's very UFC of him.

01:18:26.000 Uh-oh.

01:18:28.000 Yeah, he does keep doing that.

01:18:29.000 Ducking is...

01:18:32.000 I learned that from Larry Barnes.

01:18:34.000 He literally has the consistency of like when you're playing a wrestling video game and you do the same move over and over again.

01:18:40.000 You know what Larry Barnes did, though?

01:18:42.000 Oh, Aoi.

01:18:43.000 He comes up to me and he goes, hey, man, this is my last week.

01:18:46.000 I'm training Ortiz.

01:18:48.000 I go, holy shit, he just...

01:18:51.000 Yeah.

01:18:52.000 Kind of a big deal.

01:18:53.000 So I'm not going to be around.

01:18:54.000 It was a pleasure working with you, my man.

01:18:56.000 Go, fuck, man.

01:18:57.000 That's a great gig.

01:18:58.000 You're moving up.

01:18:59.000 Holy shit.

01:19:00.000 Well, I hope I see you again.

01:19:02.000 And I'm going to miss you, buddy.

01:19:03.000 He goes, yep.

01:19:04.000 All right.

01:19:04.000 See you around.

01:19:06.000 And then later on, I go, so when are you starting with Ortiz?

01:19:10.000 And he goes, what?

01:19:10.000 I was just fucking with you, dumbass.

01:19:12.000 You just lied.

01:19:14.000 He does that every now and then.

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:16.000 He also told me he's working with the feds.

01:19:19.000 When he got a call from like his son, he was like, hang on a second, Agent Shields.

01:19:25.000 He just likes to practice lying.

01:19:27.000 Like, what's a joke and what's a lie?

01:19:29.000 Anyway, sorry.

01:19:29.000 Let's see the next one.

01:19:30.000 That's a lie that you're not invested in.

01:19:33.000 Okay, this one is amazing because the guy's soul flies away.

01:19:37.000 Oh, by the way, did you get a dollar?

01:19:40.000 No.

01:19:40.000 No, you owe me another dollar, dude.

01:19:42.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:19:43.000 I gotta read it.

01:19:45.000 I thought that one was a wash.

01:19:46.000 Oh, and I lost because the shirt guy got knocked out.

01:19:49.000 Yes, you're right.

01:19:51.000 All right, last one.

01:19:52.000 By the way, just cause you can play this at home, folks.

01:19:57.000 You get some knockout videos, and one of you will have to have seen it.

01:20:01.000 That's how you put these together.

01:20:03.000 And you bet on the guys.

01:20:05.000 We just invented a new game.

01:20:07.000 What do you think?

01:20:08.000 What do you think about my referee thing?

01:20:10.000 What's your referee thing?

01:20:11.000 Where police do not get involved in a fight.

01:20:15.000 There are kind of just referees just around.

01:20:18.000 Or you just fight.

01:20:19.000 That's the way it was in the 80s.

01:20:20.000 But wait, it was so cool.

01:20:22.000 Cops used to take off their belts.

01:20:24.000 Now they lose their pension for this.

01:20:25.000 They take off their belt, they put it down, they take off their badge, and they say, let's fucking fight.

01:20:29.000 And if you win, I guarantee I will not press charges.

01:20:32.000 You know what that used to do?

01:20:33.000 That used to give that cop in that community credibility.

01:20:36.000 Right.

01:20:37.000 They'd be like, he's a real nigga, that motherfucker.

01:20:39.000 He's a real deal nigga.

01:20:41.000 He's not just relying on the power that he has.

01:20:43.000 He's over you.

01:20:44.000 And I won.

01:20:44.000 I beat his ass, and he just picked up his gun.

01:20:46.000 He put his shit back on.

01:20:47.000 It was cool.

01:20:48.000 I like that guy.

01:20:49.000 Now they're more likely to tell him, like, yeah, that dude is, he's a junkie, man.

01:20:54.000 He's getting into some shit this week that's going to be real bad for the community.

01:20:59.000 But the cops get involved if you punch them when they're knocked out already.

01:21:03.000 The job is done, folks.

01:21:04.000 The job is done.

01:21:05.000 Okay, that's our last knockout video.

01:21:08.000 Ryan's going to choose double or nothing.

01:21:11.000 I'll give you $2.

01:21:12.000 White shirt.

01:21:13.000 White shirt's going to win?

01:21:14.000 Yes.

01:21:15.000 Okay.

01:21:16.000 Okay, that's money.

01:21:18.000 There's no volume for this.

01:21:20.000 Oh, that sucks.

01:21:21.000 Yep.

01:21:22.000 Look, his soul flew away.

01:21:23.000 Oh, he did a magic trick.

01:21:27.000 Yeah, look.

01:21:27.000 You David Blaine.

01:21:31.000 He just instantly reincarnated and then he walked away.

01:21:33.000 That's the best.

01:21:34.000 Now, if I were to get bunched into a bird.

01:21:38.000 That's kind of a good trick.

01:21:39.000 If you feel like you're going to die, just take your soul and put it into a bird's soul, like in Game of Thrones, and just fly away.

01:21:45.000 Oh, man.

01:21:46.000 All right, Ryan.

01:21:46.000 You win your money back.

01:21:47.000 Good boy.

01:21:47.000 Boy, cool.

01:21:48.000 Here.

01:21:50.000 Get fired.

01:21:51.000 Get in trouble.

01:21:52.000 Be brave.

01:21:53.000 Uh-huh.

01:21:54.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 26, 2019

S02E91 - DOUBLE KNOCKOUT

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