Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E99

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.

00:00:20.000 The Hallsmith Bells of Hot Leaf.

00:00:25.000 It is the season.

00:00:31.000 Can you imagine liking that?

00:00:35.000 Why would you listen to a cappella if you're not stranded on a desert island with nothing else to do?

00:00:41.000 Like, why would you not want instruments?

00:00:44.000 It's sort of like when they play live music in bars and some guy gets out there with his guitar and he starts doing Simon and Garfunkel.

00:00:50.000 What are you doing?

00:00:51.000 Why not just play it and hear the actual guy?

00:00:54.000 What's so amazing about a guitar?

00:00:57.000 What is this?

00:00:57.000 1680?

00:01:00.000 Ooh, live music.

00:01:02.000 I love live music.

00:01:03.000 Why?

00:01:04.000 Why do you like loud sounds coming from right behind you?

00:01:08.000 We're in a tiny bar.

00:01:09.000 Why'd you bring a fucking amp?

00:01:11.000 An acoustic guitar is an amp.

00:01:14.000 The music shoots out that hole.

00:01:17.000 No, I got to plug it in.

00:01:19.000 Little ditty about Jack and Diane.

00:01:22.000 Two American.

00:01:23.000 Fuck off.

00:01:27.000 If I want to hear Jack and Diane, I'll listen to Jack and Diane.

00:01:30.000 And if I want to hear a drum, I'll go find a drum.

00:01:34.000 I won't have someone going, it's fucking cave music.

00:01:44.000 It's so unbelievably gay.

00:01:48.000 Go back to that video.

00:01:51.000 Like, people go to these concerts.

00:02:02.000 That's why you listen to a capella music right there.

00:02:05.000 So the Mexican guy with the little mustache, the little midget, is in a sexual relationship with the blonde guy.

00:02:10.000 And as I've said many times, I don't think the blonde guy's gay.

00:02:14.000 I think he's so politically correct that he allows that Mexican man to...

00:02:23.000 Fuck him up the ass.

00:02:24.000 Sorry, kids.

00:02:27.000 Why would we need to see that?

00:02:29.000 Because they do it all with their lips.

00:02:31.000 Look at Freddy Butt Hercury.

00:02:35.000 Oh my God.

00:02:37.000 He's too happy.

00:02:39.000 To gays.

00:02:40.000 I think gays are becoming spoiled brats.

00:02:43.000 Like at Whitewall or whatever it was, Stonewall, you know, we had gay bashing and they had a rough time of it for a while.

00:02:51.000 But I think the pendulum might have swung over to spoiled brat now.

00:02:54.000 He gets to ream some straight dude up the buns.

00:02:59.000 The buns.

00:03:02.000 That guy might be the gayest person in the world because he unifies every possible version of the word gay.

00:03:10.000 Yeah, it's super gay.

00:03:13.000 He's effective.

00:03:14.000 He's a midget, too.

00:03:17.000 This little guy?

00:03:18.000 Yeah.

00:03:20.000 Wait a minute.

00:03:21.000 Are we missing someone?

00:03:23.000 Yeah, where's the dude with the beard?

00:03:27.000 I didn't know there was a guy with a dude with a beard.

00:03:28.000 There used to be a hipster.

00:03:30.000 Oh my gosh, there's a new black guy.

00:03:32.000 I guess I need more bass.

00:03:33.000 Oh, oh, oh.

00:03:35.000 Oh, la, la, la, la.

00:03:37.000 Oh, psh.

00:03:38.000 Oh, psh.

00:03:40.000 Psh.

00:03:41.000 Oh, oh, oh.

00:03:44.000 What are you doing that for?

00:03:45.000 Even when there's no instruments, black people are still playing the bass.

00:03:49.000 That's amazing.

00:03:49.000 La, la, la, la, la, la.

00:03:55.000 She's pretty hot, isn't she?

00:03:56.000 That Latina?

00:03:58.000 I thought she was a Asian.

00:03:59.000 You know what just someone just sent me?

00:04:01.000 I won't show it on the show.

00:04:03.000 A whole nude leak of Demi Lovato.

00:04:07.000 And she is what you think she is.

00:04:09.000 Wow.

00:04:10.000 Although her breasts are very wide.

00:04:13.000 Wide.

00:04:14.000 Wide.

00:04:15.000 Wide are you, geek.

00:04:17.000 Wide are you, boobs.

00:04:21.000 So there's that.

00:04:23.000 That's the intro to the show.

00:04:24.000 Find another Pentatonix one.

00:04:26.000 He has like a...

00:04:30.000 He's got one of those floppy Smurf hats that hipsters wear.

00:04:33.000 *singing*

00:04:42.000 Oh, is that him?

00:04:43.000 There he is.

00:04:44.000 Yeah.

00:04:44.000 To the left?

00:04:45.000 Or the bottom.

00:04:45.000 Oh, my God.

00:04:46.000 Look, that's the midget.

00:04:48.000 Where's the midget?

00:04:49.000 The loser weirdo, Freddy Butt Hercury used to be a nerd.

00:04:53.000 A nerdy.

00:04:55.000 Wait, what?

00:04:58.000 That doesn't look like it.

00:05:00.000 It is him.

00:05:01.000 Oh, it is him.

00:05:01.000 Yeah, I can see it by his teeth.

00:05:02.000 He's got gay teeth.

00:05:03.000 Is that true?

00:05:04.000 Is that weird?

00:05:05.000 Yeah.

00:05:06.000 The jiz changes their molecular structure.

00:05:09.000 So what happened to him?

00:05:12.000 We've got to find out.

00:05:13.000 Wait.

00:05:14.000 Bearded guy out at Pentatonics.

00:05:16.000 No, no, I mean the guy with the hat on.

00:05:19.000 Oh.

00:05:20.000 He likes me.

00:05:21.000 He just looked up at me.

00:05:22.000 Yeah, well, it's kind of the camera.

00:05:24.000 Whoever is looking at the screen.

00:05:26.000 Imagine you met a guy, and he seemed like a cool dude at the bar.

00:05:30.000 You're hanging out with him.

00:05:31.000 He's super funny.

00:05:32.000 And then he goes, I got to go on tour.

00:05:34.000 Oh, you're in a band.

00:05:36.000 Yeah.

00:05:37.000 What kind of music do you guys play?

00:05:37.000 Oh, cool.

00:05:40.000 We fill stadiums, so very, very popular band.

00:05:43.000 Like, we get paid a lot of money.

00:05:45.000 We're very successful.

00:05:46.000 Oh, I didn't ask that.

00:05:48.000 What kind of music I was saying?

00:05:50.000 Oh, I mean, it's everything.

00:05:52.000 It's mostly covers, but we have a Christmas album.

00:05:55.000 Oh, so you play like country speed metal?

00:05:58.000 Well, no, there's no guitars.

00:06:00.000 I'm sorry?

00:06:01.000 Oh, is it like that band Lithium?

00:06:03.000 Or what's that band called?

00:06:04.000 Morphine?

00:06:05.000 Or it's just a saxophone?

00:06:08.000 Is that it?

00:06:08.000 Is that your leading it?

00:06:09.000 Because now I'm getting pissed off because I know where this is going.

00:06:13.000 No, it's a cappella.

00:06:18.000 Get the fuck out of my sight.

00:06:21.000 You piece of shit.

00:06:22.000 That's like when you'd meet super cool dudes that were funny and then you'd find out that they're in an improv troupe.

00:06:29.000 Like Fubar.

00:06:30.000 You know the movie Fubar?

00:06:32.000 Best guys in the world.

00:06:33.000 I hung out with them there at my wedding.

00:06:36.000 But they would do improv, like sitting in a chair with a fake steering wheel.

00:06:41.000 are we almost there?

00:06:42.000 I'm just like, what the fuck?

00:06:44.000 You guys do improv classes?

00:06:48.000 No, you may not.

00:06:51.000 You've never heard of Fubar?

00:06:53.000 I think from you, yeah.

00:06:54.000 It's like these two guys that...

00:06:58.000 It's like one of the best movies ever had next.

00:07:00.000 Yeah.

00:07:01.000 First one.

00:07:02.000 The second one ain't so hot.

00:07:04.000 Fubar too.

00:07:06.000 But you have to find out what happened to the bearded guy.

00:07:08.000 Yeah, so I'm guessing his name is...

00:07:15.000 They all say to present.

00:07:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:17.000 Former members, Avi Kaplan.

00:07:19.000 There we go.

00:07:20.000 There he is.

00:07:21.000 What happened, Avi?

00:07:22.000 Avriel Benjamin.

00:07:24.000 We just lost him.

00:07:25.000 Well, not just.

00:07:26.000 Known for his deep bass voice.

00:07:28.000 What happened to Avi?

00:07:30.000 Is that a Jewish name?

00:07:31.000 Gabe Kaplan.

00:07:31.000 Yeah.

00:07:32.000 And he was leaving following.

00:07:34.000 Okay, you're not going to find gossip on Wikipedia, Mr. King of the Research.

00:07:37.000 Okay.

00:07:38.000 So remember this last week?

00:07:40.000 Hate spree?

00:07:44.000 He's talking to a dude who watches this show.

00:07:47.000 He brought up something that I'm kind of embarrassed I never thought of before.

00:07:52.000 Why the fuck would a mass shooting start out in a cemetery?

00:07:59.000 I'm a black Hebrew Israelite.

00:08:00.000 Here's my gun.

00:08:01.000 I'm going to go kill Jews.

00:08:03.000 I hate Jews.

00:08:04.000 Okay?

00:08:07.000 Oh, there it is.

00:08:08.000 There's the kosher deli.

00:08:10.000 Here I go.

00:08:11.000 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

00:08:15.000 A detective was investigating a homicide at a cemetery.

00:08:18.000 And look, this black Hebrew Israelite thing fits my narrative.

00:08:22.000 So I'm not going to be running to the presses with this.

00:08:26.000 If some bullshit helps my cause, then fine.

00:08:29.000 If it helps show America that there isn't this looming threat of Nazis hiding around every corner and you need Reem, racial and ethnically motivated extremism.

00:08:43.000 You want to make Reem the thing and Adam Woffin?

00:08:46.000 I swear to God, all weekend, I would remember that Proud Boys were listed in the same subhead as Adam Woffin, and I would physically just go, unfucking believable.

00:08:56.000 This journalist, who is really just a colostomy bag for her sources, come, just barfs out this story and puts Adam Woffen in the same name as a group with visible minorities, gays, blah, blah, blah.

00:09:10.000 And the New York Times is like, yep.

00:09:13.000 Let her go.

00:09:16.000 What happened to Avi?

00:09:18.000 Well, he spent a lot of time away from his family.

00:09:21.000 He was getting all sad.

00:09:22.000 I remember this now.

00:09:23.000 His tearful goodbye?

00:09:24.000 I remember this now.

00:09:25.000 He's just a pussy.

00:09:27.000 Look at this little fuck.

00:09:28.000 He quit because it was too hard to tour.

00:09:31.000 They're probably making a million bucks a year each.

00:09:34.000 And he's like, yeah, but I miss my kids.

00:09:36.000 Dude, people in the military are gone for a year and a half.

00:09:40.000 They bring home like 60 grand.

00:09:42.000 You can't fucking take a hit for a million bucks.

00:09:46.000 And you know, there'd be two week, three week spaces in there where you can fly back.

00:09:50.000 What a fucking loser.

00:09:51.000 Wait, maybe that's what he said.

00:09:52.000 And he was like, you know, ever since the nerd turned into a fag, I have to go.

00:09:57.000 I'm just weirded out that my buddy here has become gay.

00:10:01.000 But he's not.

00:10:02.000 Look, all the way to the right.

00:10:05.000 Anyway.

00:10:05.000 Look at the black guy.

00:10:06.000 He's like, I don't know what this motherfucker is thinking.

00:10:10.000 Million bucks isn't enough?

00:10:11.000 Okay.

00:10:12.000 Shoot.

00:10:13.000 Okay, let's hear.

00:10:14.000 ...is because I have an announcement to make.

00:10:20.000 This decision is something that I've been struggling with a lot.

00:10:24.000 And I just found out how people feel about a cappella music.

00:10:29.000 I had no idea.

00:10:29.000 Oh.

00:10:30.000 No, this is what he's going to say.

00:10:32.000 Oh.

00:10:33.000 I just thought we were in kind of a cool band, but I met a guy named Gavin McInnes at a bar in Midtown called Jimmy's Corner.

00:10:39.000 And he pointed to the door and said, get the fuck out.

00:10:42.000 And I thought, I am going to get the fuck out.

00:10:45.000 Out of this stupid band.

00:10:47.000 Been one of these.

00:10:48.000 Gavin, if you're watching, I apologize.

00:10:50.000 In my entire life.

00:10:55.000 Where are the tears?

00:10:56.000 These past six years have been a little bit coaster.

00:11:00.000 It's been so gay and retarded.

00:11:02.000 Oh, there it is.

00:11:03.000 There we go.

00:11:04.000 Oh, boy.

00:11:06.000 And the people that we've touched that music.

00:11:13.000 Look at that.

00:11:15.000 And the people who judge me that music.

00:11:18.000 Touch that music.

00:11:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:11:20.000 That might have to become a video clip.

00:11:23.000 That touch that music.

00:11:25.000 We can play it after every opening song.

00:11:32.000 Look at the black guy.

00:11:34.000 Fuck this shit.

00:11:36.000 They are paying me a lot.

00:11:38.000 And the Mexican is the same way.

00:11:41.000 She's like, I should have painted my design.

00:11:42.000 No, not her.

00:11:44.000 She's on board.

00:11:45.000 The two guys on either end, they chose to sit there, and they're just like, this is so fucking retarded.

00:11:50.000 But yeah, let's do the announcement.

00:11:52.000 Look at this.

00:11:53.000 Let's do the announcement.

00:11:54.000 This evil, heartless queb.

00:11:56.000 Oh my God, I would love to get this black guy.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, that guy's crying.

00:12:00.000 I'm raping a straight guy every fucking night.

00:12:02.000 No, the black guy.

00:12:03.000 Imagine the black guy's stories about Avi on tour and what a fucking puss he is and how he brings his pillow from home to every hotel and how he always gets room service, but it's never booze.

00:12:16.000 It's French onion soup and green tea and how much he hates him and how much he caught him once not doing shots.

00:12:24.000 So the black guy would buy shots for everyone, but he would see Avigo and throw it behind his head and he actually got it in some chick's eyes.

00:12:31.000 His shoulders was wet.

00:12:32.000 Oh, ow!

00:12:34.000 And he was laughing about it.

00:12:36.000 No, he denied it.

00:12:38.000 Yeah, but he was also, I saw him giggling.

00:12:40.000 Why are you making this black guy so black?

00:12:42.000 I don't know.

00:12:42.000 Yo, I saw her giggling there.

00:12:45.000 He's like, Bernie Mac.

00:12:46.000 I saw her giggling.

00:12:48.000 I said, she giggling back there.

00:12:51.000 I ain't afraid of you, motherfucker.

00:12:52.000 I ain't afraid of you.

00:12:53.000 That's my Bernie Mac.

00:12:54.000 I didn't know I had one.

00:12:55.000 Yeah.

00:12:56.000 He sounds like some kids are jumping up and down on his stomach.

00:12:59.000 Yeah, fuck them.

00:13:00.000 I don't know how to fake shit.

00:13:02.000 My stomach ate a jumpbeline.

00:13:03.000 I knew a woman out there.

00:13:06.000 You need to suck Dick Moe.

00:13:09.000 I love that punchline.

00:13:10.000 You need to suck Dick Moe.

00:13:12.000 That is.

00:13:13.000 Actually, if you look at 1.6.

00:13:15.000 Oh.

00:13:15.000 That's how he talks.

00:13:17.000 But don't leave this.

00:13:18.000 I mean, leave it.

00:13:20.000 Dear black guy, if you can please tell me, he's never going to tell me the gossip.

00:13:24.000 It would cost him millions and millions of dollars.

00:13:26.000 But I want to stalk him, find out what bar he drinks in, and just sort of saddle up.

00:13:32.000 Hey, anyone sitting here?

00:13:33.000 What?

00:13:34.000 No, no.

00:13:36.000 Oh, man.

00:13:37.000 I worked with this total pussy who really got on my nerves, and then the fucker quit.

00:13:41.000 I was like, what a loser.

00:13:43.000 Anyway, that's my personal story.

00:13:46.000 Want a shot?

00:13:48.000 You mean one that I'm not going to throw over my shoulder?

00:13:51.000 Over your shoulder?

00:13:53.000 Why would anyone throw a shot over their shoulder?

00:13:55.000 That sounds so kooky.

00:13:58.000 Bartender, we're going to need a couple rounds.

00:14:00.000 Bartender, lock the front doors.

00:14:04.000 When he farts, it smells like rotten eggs.

00:14:06.000 It's a real bummer.

00:14:07.000 I once saw this guy cry his fucking eyes out at Adora the Explorer cartoon.

00:14:14.000 Okay, so go to 1-6.

00:14:19.000 Let's see here.

00:14:20.000 I didn't get a chance to style my do, so it's getting kind of Scottish Jufro-y.

00:14:25.000 Scottish Jufroy.

00:14:26.000 Scottish Jufroy.

00:14:28.000 Scottish Jufroy!

00:14:28.000 Go!

00:14:29.000 That's what you call an Italian Scottish guy, or a Scottish guy who wishes that he was Italian.

00:14:36.000 Scottish Guffroy.

00:14:38.000 Okay, today.

00:14:40.000 Ha ha!

00:14:40.000 This is him!

00:14:41.000 King's a conatour!

00:14:43.000 Ha ha!

00:14:44.000 Talking about sex!

00:14:46.000 What are you doing?

00:14:46.000 I don't know.

00:14:49.000 Facebook led me to a place.

00:14:53.000 You must have touched something else.

00:14:54.000 Why are you showing everyone this blank screen?

00:14:59.000 And why is your internet so slow?

00:15:01.000 Are you exporting something?

00:15:02.000 No.

00:15:03.000 My internet's fine.

00:15:04.000 I know.

00:15:05.000 And my computer's right next to yours.

00:15:07.000 I think it's because I've done something to deserve this, and I'm not in God's good graces any longer.

00:15:15.000 I've had a string of bad luckities.

00:15:17.000 And that's okay.

00:15:18.000 See if you can understand Bernie Mac.

00:15:23.000 Stop telling the truth.

00:15:25.000 I'm saying what you scared to say.

00:15:26.000 Ain't nothing wrong with you.

00:15:30.000 God see you do it.

00:15:31.000 Everybody in this room crazy some bitches.

00:15:34.000 Everybody in this room eat pussy.

00:15:35.000 But to me, women on, y'all got a problem.

00:15:37.000 We're going to talk about it.

00:15:38.000 Talk about it.

00:15:39.000 I take this shit.

00:15:40.000 You won't take it.

00:15:42.000 See, I'm telling like a tweet out of here.

00:15:43.000 I'm saying what you're scared to say.

00:15:48.000 No problem.

00:15:49.000 But speak y'all don't like something on dick.

00:15:50.000 I'm sick of this shit.

00:15:53.000 We're going to talk about it here tonight.

00:15:55.000 We're going to talk about it.

00:15:56.000 Imagine Bernie Mac was your dad.

00:16:00.000 You know, y'all act like it's a union or no dick took calls or something.

00:16:06.000 Especially black women.

00:16:07.000 Women.

00:16:08.000 Sorry, folks.

00:16:10.000 But yeah, sorry, to get back to this hate spree, a few other things in the news.

00:16:19.000 The cemetery thing is pretty big.

00:16:22.000 Now, you could say, well, there happened to be a shootout.

00:16:25.000 Bang, bang, bang, shot the detective.

00:16:28.000 Then they're running and they go, hey, we're anti-Semites.

00:16:31.000 We're running down the street from these cops.

00:16:33.000 Let's choose the kosher grocer to duck into.

00:16:38.000 I mean, it fits, it obfuscates the liberal narrative, so I'm not going to spend too much time on it.

00:16:45.000 But does that really make sense to you?

00:16:47.000 Am I calling the shooting a false flag?

00:16:49.000 I hope not.

00:16:51.000 Because that's for weird people to say.

00:16:54.000 But when you're running from cops for your life and you just killed the cop, the religion of the venue isn't huge on your priority.

00:17:02.000 It's, does it have a back door?

00:17:04.000 Well, is there a fence I can jump over?

00:17:06.000 Can I escape?

00:17:08.000 Is it possible that anti-Semites can go on a accidental spree and accidentally?

00:17:15.000 Well, that's kind of where we're ending up.

00:17:17.000 Where they were like, hey, why don't we kill some Jews?

00:17:17.000 Right.

00:17:20.000 Right.

00:17:21.000 But you're running for your life with your guns.

00:17:24.000 And you're like, you know what?

00:17:25.000 On my to-do list, I'm going to kill some Jews.

00:17:28.000 Right, right.

00:17:29.000 Now, the theory that I got from this dude was, you know the way New York cops fire like Amadou Diallo.

00:17:37.000 He had like 15 shots in the bottom of his feet after he was knocked down because they just sort of go, and so all of those Amadou shots were in the span of maybe five seconds.

00:17:50.000 So it's possible that they were running in there and the cops were just like, and they killed the two Jewish people and the shooters.

00:18:00.000 Because when I was reading, it always said, they targeted the Jewish store.

00:18:08.000 Noah says they were killed.

00:18:10.000 Duo killed a cop and then three innocent bystanders were.

00:18:15.000 The duo killed a cop and then three innocent bystanders were slain in the store.

00:18:21.000 By who?

00:18:23.000 By cops?

00:18:26.000 I mean, just sit there and do the math yourself.

00:18:30.000 I had a shoot at a cemetery on my way to an anti-Semitic mass shooting.

00:18:35.000 Yeah, what is there to do there?

00:18:37.000 You show up at your mass shooting.

00:18:39.000 That's the only thing you do that day.

00:18:41.000 They were late to their mass shooting.

00:18:43.000 They were late.

00:18:43.000 They got a little tied up assassinating detectives.

00:18:48.000 Anyway, I'll drop it after that.

00:18:50.000 Speaking of black people, Zenoa was in town this weekend with her kids.

00:18:53.000 That's John Kinsman's black wife and her unbelievably adorable little kids.

00:18:59.000 Not the baby, but the other two.

00:19:01.000 They're about four and three.

00:19:05.000 It's ironic that there's a lot of four and three.

00:19:07.000 They're black because it's Irish twins.

00:19:10.000 But she's really strict about screens and stuff.

00:19:12.000 Can you flip my monitor here?

00:19:14.000 She's really strict about screens and phones and iPads, and it just makes better kids.

00:19:20.000 Like we had this little nativity scene in our living room made of wood, cheap thing from Target, whatever, Christmas decoration.

00:19:28.000 And she played with that, making her own little sounds.

00:19:31.000 Oh, she's so hard to sound.

00:19:34.000 For, I'm going to say two hours non-stop, having a great time.

00:19:41.000 And when she showed up to meet John at the prison, the COs were stunned because they're seeing a black woman go to meet the leader of a hate group.

00:19:51.000 So even the COs are brainwashed by this shit.

00:19:55.000 It's good seeing her.

00:19:55.000 I've heard now they're targeting like Max's girlfriend's family.

00:20:01.000 Antifa is.

00:20:04.000 They're really, you know what they are, Antifa?

00:20:06.000 They're anti-family because they don't have families.

00:20:09.000 So this is not about white supremacy.

00:20:11.000 They'd be obsessed with the black Hebrew Israelites if they were concerned about anti-Semitism and bigotry.

00:20:16.000 They just don't like you having a family.

00:20:18.000 They want to sabotage your family.

00:20:21.000 Fucking losers.

00:20:22.000 Also in the news, some chick was wearing two left shoes.

00:20:26.000 I said this to you as a picture.

00:20:28.000 I said this to you.

00:20:29.000 As a picture.

00:20:30.000 I said this to you as a picture.

00:20:32.000 I say things that you don't want to say.

00:20:34.000 Now you may not want to hear, but I don't want him to say it.

00:20:37.000 Hackney Abbott, clearly not a morning person, not only wearing two different shoes, but two left-footed shoes.

00:20:44.000 This lady could be in charge of the nation's security.

00:20:47.000 She can't even dress herself properly.

00:20:49.000 Next time, how about shoes that match?

00:20:53.000 This is a major British political figure.

00:20:57.000 Nothing to say about that scarf, though?

00:21:00.000 It's big.

00:21:01.000 It's a comforter.

00:21:02.000 It's big.

00:21:04.000 Imagine being so stupid, you leave the house with a left shoe.

00:21:10.000 No, two left shoes.

00:21:13.000 She has two left shoes on.

00:21:17.000 In kindergarten, you were taught a song that prevents that from happening.

00:21:20.000 Yeah.

00:21:21.000 What a stupid, useless piece of garbage.

00:21:27.000 Little kids do that.

00:21:29.000 Maybe, but around five, they start going, ah, this feels uncomfortable.

00:21:34.000 I don't like this.

00:21:35.000 There's got to be a story there.

00:21:37.000 Also, also important news item, a picture of a gigantic fat chick.

00:21:43.000 I love this site, Fat People Hate.

00:21:47.000 And I was just looking at the one in the mirror.

00:21:52.000 Like, do you know when these people defecate, how complicated it is?

00:21:56.000 They can't go on the toilet.

00:21:59.000 What's happening there?

00:22:01.000 I mean, this is, God gave us these bodies, right?

00:22:06.000 How is this not blasphemy?

00:22:08.000 God gave you the gift of life.

00:22:11.000 Thank you so much.

00:22:11.000 Thank you.

00:22:13.000 And then you use it just to, what, eat chicken?

00:22:16.000 You look at those, how unnatural all those rolls are.

00:22:19.000 Your arm is part of your back now.

00:22:21.000 Why'd you do this?

00:22:22.000 What are you lying?

00:22:23.000 You don't even really have an arm.

00:22:25.000 It's like an upside-down boob.

00:22:28.000 It's like a batwing, but it's nothing.

00:22:30.000 Yeah, it's like, you look like a skeleton wearing a giant skin costume.

00:22:36.000 It's fun to sort of imagine where the skeleton is, the poor bastard.

00:22:41.000 And the muscles.

00:22:42.000 Like, imagine how tired she is.

00:22:44.000 I don't think you'll have to wait long to figure that out.

00:22:46.000 Anyway, that's all very important.

00:22:47.000 I haven't done your laundry either.

00:22:49.000 We are going to be...

00:22:56.000 So there's going to be a lot of fun stuff happening and a lot of new shows on the horizon.

00:23:01.000 New content.

00:23:03.000 Even a possible merger with another company.

00:23:07.000 Big shit happening.

00:23:08.000 Lots of wheeling and dealing.

00:23:10.000 Don't worry.

00:23:11.000 Your price won't go up.

00:23:12.000 I was just kidding.

00:23:17.000 Here's something that's been bugging me this weekend.

00:23:20.000 Women.

00:23:23.000 I was at my kids' basketball game on Sunday, and just the way they yell at the ref and stuff, it's sort of like talking shit to cops.

00:23:33.000 Like, if I see a ref give a bad call, I just go, Jesus.

00:23:38.000 But they sit there and they scream, really?

00:23:41.000 Really?

00:23:42.000 You're kidding me?

00:23:44.000 Like, where do they get this hubris from?

00:23:46.000 This is a new thing that I've noticed amongst the female community.

00:23:49.000 This incredible arrogance.

00:23:51.000 And it's just like I was saying about the pentatonics gay guy, the pendulum, the pentatonic pendulum swinging to the point where gays are just like, fuck hell.

00:24:00.000 I think we've gone from women being kind of annoying.

00:24:04.000 I mean, sorry.

00:24:06.000 Women being hidden in the kitchen where they're not allowed to do or think or say, to just shut the fuck up.

00:24:13.000 You're the boss of the world now.

00:24:18.000 There was a, I was talking to one of the basketball coaches at the bar after, and we brought the kids there for some wings.

00:24:25.000 And he told me about a game the previous week that we weren't at.

00:24:31.000 Our team wasn't at, I mean.

00:24:32.000 And this kid called another kid a fucking dick.

00:24:37.000 Hey, you're a dick.

00:24:40.000 Fucking dick.

00:24:41.000 And then walked away.

00:24:44.000 And the mother finds out about this.

00:24:46.000 Oh, and this is again what I'm talking about.

00:24:48.000 This like, I ain't having it.

00:24:49.000 And she grabs him and marches him over to the father.

00:24:53.000 She says, show me who said that.

00:24:54.000 He's like, poor bastard.

00:24:56.000 Now he's totally castrated.

00:24:57.000 He can't fight his own battles.

00:24:58.000 Got to have his mommy.

00:24:59.000 And he sort of points and she goes, get him, come here.

00:25:03.000 Yanking him over.

00:25:04.000 And she goes, your son just called my son.

00:25:08.000 She said the D word.

00:25:10.000 Now it's the D word.

00:25:11.000 There's no D word.

00:25:13.000 It makes you think of like, what, dong?

00:25:16.000 Droopers?

00:25:18.000 What is it?

00:25:19.000 Dick isn't even a bad word, is it?

00:25:22.000 Can you say dick on TV?

00:25:23.000 That guy's a total dick.

00:25:25.000 Richard, dick.

00:25:26.000 I've heard shit on TV.

00:25:28.000 Let me see.

00:25:30.000 So the father just stands there staring at her, and he looks at the son, and guess what the kid did?

00:25:37.000 What?

00:25:38.000 He goes, no, he is a dick.

00:25:41.000 Because she's, sorry, I ruined the fucking story.

00:25:43.000 She demanded he apologize.

00:25:45.000 She goes, you're going to apologize to him right now.

00:25:47.000 And the kid, who's about 11 years old, by the way, says, no.

00:25:51.000 What?

00:25:51.000 Why not?

00:25:52.000 He is a dick.

00:25:54.000 And then she looks at the father and he goes, and she didn't know what to do.

00:25:58.000 So then she gasps And she drags him and goes back to her husband and says, You handle this now.

00:26:06.000 Handle this?

00:26:07.000 Like, you see what I'm getting at here?

00:26:10.000 They're such busy bodies.

00:26:12.000 I'm not saying they just hellipist.

00:26:16.000 I'm not saying we need them hiding in the kitchen making the spaghetti sauce, but this like constantly taking, I'll handle this, Karen.

00:26:25.000 Constantly calling the manager.

00:26:28.000 Like the other day, I'm just remembering this now.

00:26:30.000 I was in my neighborhood, right?

00:26:32.000 And we had some warm weather a couple weeks ago.

00:26:34.000 Remember, I had the motorcycle helmet on.

00:26:36.000 So the guy that I want to ride with, he's never been to my house before.

00:26:40.000 And so he can't find it.

00:26:41.000 And he's, he, for some reason, I don't know why he did this, but he's an ex-cop.

00:26:45.000 And he says, hey, you know a guy named Gavin McInnis live around here?

00:26:48.000 Big mustache?

00:26:49.000 And these old ladies go, yeah, I think that's his house there, right there, right behind you.

00:26:54.000 So then I come out.

00:26:55.000 I'm like, hey, dude.

00:26:57.000 And she's like, oh, yeah, so you found him.

00:26:59.000 Okay, right?

00:27:00.000 Yeah, cool.

00:27:01.000 Thank you.

00:27:01.000 All right.

00:27:02.000 And then I have a bunch of pins on my jacket, right?

00:27:05.000 And she goes, so what have we got here?

00:27:07.000 What's all this now?

00:27:10.000 None of your fucking business, hag.

00:27:12.000 Is this up to code?

00:27:14.000 So what is this?

00:27:14.000 Is this a swastika?

00:27:16.000 No, it's a little enamel pin that looks like a Bible, but when you read the title, it says, people to kill.

00:27:24.000 And this says, fucker and the pussy.

00:27:27.000 And this is Dennis the Menace from the British Scottish comic Beano.

00:27:30.000 What?

00:27:32.000 Or that dikey chick who demanded that I don't go to my local bar and harass the bartender and the owner.

00:27:39.000 And then his wife, I just found out on the weekend.

00:27:43.000 This woman was harassing the wife because she owns the building.

00:27:46.000 Can you believe that?

00:27:47.000 Bitch, are you for real?

00:27:54.000 And then there's a woman in Grand Central giving us a lecture because she didn't like the fact that your joke, which by the way, wasn't funny.

00:28:00.000 I want to give her a Hannibal lecture.

00:28:02.000 Where I eat parts of her face.

00:28:04.000 The Feckless Sow.

00:28:05.000 The Feckless Sow.

00:28:06.000 All right, so anyway, all of this is to show you this video where this woman has decided that another woman, and I know I'm coming across as very sexist here.

00:28:15.000 I can live with that.

00:28:17.000 Has her music on her headphones too loud?

00:28:20.000 Now you think of dudes.

00:28:22.000 A dude.

00:28:23.000 If I was to call you a dude, you'd say, there's crazy Gavin being a dude running around in a pond.

00:28:32.000 Oh, I love it.

00:28:34.000 Dude.

00:28:35.000 Say you were listening on your headphones and it was like blaring, which is hard to imagine, but let's just say it's getting to the point where I'm annoyed.

00:28:42.000 I would just maybe look at him and be like, dude, can you?

00:28:44.000 And then he would probably be like, oh.

00:28:47.000 Or maybe just go, yeah.

00:28:48.000 And that would be the end of that.

00:28:50.000 But look at these two getting into it.

00:28:54.000 And getting good at it, if you will.

00:28:56.000 Did you attack me?

00:28:57.000 Yes.

00:28:57.000 Okay.

00:28:57.000 So I've asked you.

00:29:00.000 And what did you say to me?

00:29:01.000 I said, oh, you're psyched.

00:29:02.000 Hang on.

00:29:02.000 And what did you say?

00:29:03.000 Can I turn down my music?

00:29:04.000 I've asked you many times.

00:29:05.000 Didn't even like you.

00:29:06.000 So?

00:29:07.000 So what?

00:29:07.000 You just mean you want me to say no.

00:29:09.000 Doesn't this sound like two chickens?

00:29:16.000 Is it in my ear?

00:29:17.000 Do you know what?

00:29:18.000 How about?

00:29:19.000 It sounds like chipmunks, like sped up.

00:29:22.000 It sounds like you're rewinding a reel to reel.

00:29:24.000 What are you going to do?

00:29:25.000 Play it now.

00:29:26.000 Do you want me to do that then?

00:29:27.000 Yes, would you like me to do that?

00:29:28.000 You're so stupid.

00:29:28.000 I would.

00:29:29.000 I beg you.

00:29:30.000 You're so rude.

00:29:31.000 I beg you do just read your newspaper because you're actually high-rating me.

00:29:34.000 And I swear.

00:29:35.000 You're irritating me.

00:29:36.000 The words not irating is irritating.

00:29:38.000 I don't care.

00:29:39.000 I don't care.

00:29:40.000 This is like where you're aware.

00:29:41.000 What was she saying?

00:29:42.000 The word's not irating.

00:29:43.000 It's irritating.

00:29:44.000 And I swear.

00:29:46.000 She's correcting her grammar now.

00:29:47.000 I beg you do just read your newspaper because you're actually high-rating me.

00:29:50.000 And I'm swearing.

00:29:51.000 You know what?

00:29:51.000 Irritating men.

00:29:52.000 The word's not irating is irritating.

00:29:54.000 I don't care.

00:29:56.000 Ah, she said you're irating me.

00:30:00.000 I really don't care.

00:30:02.000 I gave you an i-rating.

00:30:03.000 You're a three.

00:30:04.000 Now fuck off.

00:30:05.000 Quiet.

00:30:06.000 I'm asking you to be quiet.

00:30:07.000 I'll just read my paper and piece of paper.

00:30:09.000 Are you not in school?

00:30:10.000 You're an actor.

00:30:10.000 No, but you're behaving like a pupil.

00:30:12.000 How will you?

00:30:13.000 I'm not a school teacher.

00:30:14.000 No.

00:30:14.000 But I would not like to teach you.

00:30:16.000 One moment, get real.

00:30:17.000 Now they're just knee-deep in an analogy that they've created.

00:30:20.000 No, because if this were school, you'd be a pupil.

00:30:22.000 And you'd be a bad one.

00:30:23.000 And I'm your teacher.

00:30:24.000 That's what they do.

00:30:25.000 This whole thing is like three hours long.

00:30:25.000 This is terrible.

00:30:27.000 And they keep getting lost in analogies.

00:30:30.000 I'm going to jump ahead shortly, not yet.

00:30:32.000 To they start talking about her race and how she's kind of attractive.

00:30:38.000 Like, this is just thrown in the middle.

00:30:38.000 Wow.

00:30:40.000 You can get rid of and you get rid of.

00:30:41.000 I've got more things to say to you.

00:30:43.000 I think you're an absolute fucking nightmare.

00:30:44.000 You're very rude, but you have good bone structure.

00:30:47.000 My chicken bones, beast-tung lips.

00:30:49.000 Very nice complexion.

00:30:51.000 Were you mocha-coloured?

00:30:53.000 You know what?

00:30:55.000 If there wasn't other people on his train, I wouldn't wait out there.

00:30:59.000 Come on, I dare you.

00:31:00.000 You dare me.

00:31:00.000 Go on.

00:31:01.000 I dare you, dare you.

00:31:04.000 How dare you that really made her mother?

00:31:06.000 Who are you?

00:31:07.000 I just said.

00:31:07.000 You dare me.

00:31:08.000 You dare me to do what?

00:31:08.000 Yes.

00:31:09.000 Please, Miss.

00:31:10.000 Sorry, no offense, but she's got a point.

00:31:12.000 She's got a point about what?

00:31:15.000 Listen, Russian gangster haircut.

00:31:17.000 Look, she is kind of red.

00:31:18.000 You are being annoying, chocolate lady.

00:31:22.000 Mate, I've got my headphones in.

00:31:23.000 If she don't like it, she can move out of my telling me to move.

00:31:26.000 She's tapping me.

00:31:27.000 I was not touching you.

00:31:28.000 Oh, Lana Me.

00:31:29.000 I requested you to touch me down politely.

00:31:31.000 A little move, a little dance.

00:31:33.000 It's a thriller.

00:31:35.000 I'm going to show you a little thrill.

00:31:37.000 If I want to listen to Michael Jackson, any song, thriller, you name it.

00:31:40.000 Yeah, that was the part.

00:31:42.000 If I want to be a zombie at the beginning of Thriller, that's my prerogative.

00:31:46.000 If I want to listen to my prerogative by Bobby Brown, I will.

00:31:50.000 I'll listen to Whitney Houston when she's gurgling in the bathtub, dying.

00:31:54.000 If she don't like it, she can move out.

00:31:56.000 No, then she's telling me to move.

00:31:57.000 She's tapping it off.

00:31:58.000 I was not trying to kill you.

00:32:01.000 You tried to cream it.

00:32:02.000 And I've got nothing but carbon abuse.

00:32:04.000 Woman, you can't be my friend.

00:32:06.000 Do.

00:32:07.000 Came in my face.

00:32:08.000 I missed that part.

00:32:08.000 This is that.

00:32:09.000 Do don't.

00:32:10.000 I'm a dirty dog.

00:32:11.000 Feral all over again.

00:32:13.000 I dare a motherfucker to come in my face.

00:32:16.000 Okay.

00:32:17.000 Dare not accept it.

00:32:18.000 I will not.

00:32:20.000 Dare accept it.

00:32:20.000 I have a feeling you're not going to like this very much.

00:32:23.000 I've got nothing but permanent abuse.

00:32:25.000 You came in my face.

00:32:27.000 I spoke to you politely.

00:32:28.000 You didn't, and you wouldn't have put my headphones in your face.

00:32:30.000 How long can this go on for?

00:32:35.000 I'm not scared of you, young lady.

00:32:37.000 You shouldn't mean.

00:32:38.000 You shouldn't mean.

00:32:38.000 Why should you be scared of what you're doing?

00:32:39.000 Because you're just abusive.

00:32:44.000 Do not touch me.

00:32:45.000 Uh-oh.

00:32:46.000 Touching.

00:32:48.000 By the way, just pause.

00:32:49.000 Here's the other thing that bothers me.

00:32:50.000 Ladies, you have to understand that there's psychos out there.

00:32:54.000 You don't know this woman.

00:32:55.000 She's young and fit.

00:32:57.000 If that was my mom in the fedora, I wouldn't say that's my mom standing up for herself.

00:33:01.000 I'd say, mom, please don't put yourself in danger like that.

00:33:04.000 One punch from that young, strong 25-year-old into that old 65-year-old's face.

00:33:10.000 She's shattered her eye socket.

00:33:12.000 Could be doing so much damage.

00:33:14.000 Like pointing your finger at these people.

00:33:16.000 When I say these people, I don't mean blacks.

00:33:18.000 I mean strangers.

00:33:20.000 The strange.

00:33:21.000 Like, you don't know what you're getting into.

00:33:23.000 This is why I love New York because everyone is so polite here because they don't know who is the crackhead with the fork that's about to go in your eyes.

00:33:30.000 Oh, sorry.

00:33:31.000 It's just not worth being right.

00:33:33.000 Even if you're right, doesn't mean you have to enforce it.

00:33:36.000 And get good at enforcing it, if you will.

00:33:39.000 But like, yeah, if your dog's shitting on the street and you're not picking it up, you might say something.

00:33:42.000 If some woman or a kid is in danger, sure, you got to get involved.

00:33:46.000 But all right, keep going.

00:33:49.000 You know what's funny?

00:33:50.000 I just thought of this.

00:33:52.000 If you, this is a weird way to address something.

00:33:52.000 What's it called?

00:33:56.000 You're like, hey, did you hear what she just said?

00:33:58.000 They're like, what?

00:33:58.000 She was telling you, she was yelling at you, saying you should pick up your dog shit.

00:34:01.000 Like, I'm like, mind your own business.

00:34:03.000 But yeah, she said that.

00:34:05.000 Oh, that's.

00:34:05.000 And then get some other old lady beaten up.

00:34:07.000 That's a good idea.

00:34:07.000 What if she's gone already?

00:34:08.000 By the way, have we talked about Ryan's look?

00:34:10.000 Why don't you cut to the wide and just stand up and show what Coke dealers look like in 1980?

00:34:16.000 I gotta.

00:34:18.000 You gotta do a little pluggy?

00:34:20.000 Oh, you didn't plug in the camera?

00:34:24.000 Another mistake by Rye Guy.

00:34:26.000 Another mistake by Rye.

00:34:31.000 Buy RyeGuy was my name when I was experimenting.

00:34:35.000 There, don't you think that bug looks a lot better, by the way, now that you've moved the C up and gave them hard edges?

00:34:40.000 But look, if you want to get in a time machine and buy Coke in high school in 1987, this is your man.

00:34:49.000 He has your stuff.

00:34:50.000 I look like a guy who has way too many karate DVDs.

00:34:54.000 And why did you choose that outfit?

00:34:55.000 Is this your new look?

00:34:56.000 Are you the Coke dealer without Coke?

00:34:58.000 Everybody's been saying I look like The Rock.

00:35:00.000 This is his look.

00:35:01.000 Oh, one of the fanny pack?

00:35:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:05.000 Is that a meme or something?

00:35:07.000 Oh, okay, gotcha.

00:35:08.000 Because everybody, like, four people said that.

00:35:11.000 Yeah.

00:35:11.000 It's one of the most common memes on earth.

00:35:15.000 It's the most commonest meme in the world.

00:35:19.000 All right, so sorry to keep dragging this out, but I'm like, look at where it gets raised.

00:35:25.000 Well, let it play for a little bit more.

00:35:27.000 Did you not call me my face?

00:35:28.000 I said, Tony, touch me.

00:35:30.000 How many times did you talk to me?

00:35:31.000 I did not touch you, though.

00:35:34.000 Did you actually hand tap me?

00:35:35.000 Yes, she tapped to me.

00:35:36.000 How many times did you talk to me?

00:35:38.000 Other people are getting involved too.

00:35:38.000 So you didn't touch me.

00:35:40.000 Y'all know she did touch you, yeah.

00:35:42.000 She tapped you.

00:35:44.000 And it was during the school analogy where you were saying that you'd be a pupil and she was a teacher.

00:35:49.000 Technically, a teacher can touch a pupil as long as lifey.

00:35:52.000 If we're staying within the analogy, you would probably get a detention at this point.

00:35:58.000 And so if you're detained at Texas, I mean, if you would be willing to accept new members in your analogy, I'd be happy to play the role of the principal.

00:36:07.000 Maybe you could come into my office and I'd be like, don't do that.

00:36:10.000 Maybe confiscate your phone.

00:36:12.000 I'll give it back.

00:36:13.000 I mean, it's just for the analogy.

00:36:14.000 And are you chewing gum?

00:36:16.000 Oh, you're not meant to chew gum in class.

00:36:19.000 She doesn't touch me when you touch me.

00:36:20.000 Don't tell me she was meant to be.

00:36:22.000 The woman's starting on me.

00:36:27.000 Come over there.

00:36:28.000 Come over there.

00:36:30.000 No.

00:36:31.000 No, no.

00:36:32.000 You're very rude.

00:36:33.000 You're very, very, very rude.

00:36:35.000 Very, very, very rude.

00:36:39.000 You annoy me.

00:36:40.000 Are you going to tell me to sit up with my nose?

00:36:42.000 You can tell her mother's Jamaican, right?

00:36:43.000 You piss me off.

00:36:46.000 You vex me so blood club.

00:36:48.000 All right, so jump ahead to the time stamp I sent, which is 1-4.

00:36:53.000 And they get into a weird racial thing where the white woman compliments her.

00:36:58.000 Which is kind of the joke we were doing when we got in trouble at Grand Central.

00:37:01.000 Oh, wow.

00:37:02.000 We're like, get out of here with your beast-dung lips and your maha cheekbones, pretty boy.

00:37:06.000 It's a full circle there.

00:37:07.000 Hey, nice ass.

00:37:09.000 Hey, perfect thighs.

00:37:09.000 I'm talking to you.

00:37:11.000 Get the fuck off my property.

00:37:13.000 With your fucking sinewy muscular legs that look like Superman's.

00:37:16.000 I hate that fucking tight-body bastard.

00:37:18.000 Hey, Mr. Square Jaw, Mr. Superchin.

00:37:21.000 Let's go.

00:37:22.000 I love your full head of hair.

00:37:22.000 Let's go.

00:37:23.000 Yada, yada, yada.

00:37:25.000 Wow, nice muscles.

00:37:26.000 Fuck off.

00:37:27.000 Listen, blessed by God himself.

00:37:28.000 Oh, thank us.

00:37:30.000 Thank you for gracing us with your presence, Mr. I Assume a Male Model.

00:37:34.000 Beat it.

00:37:35.000 What are you late for a perfect face convention?

00:37:39.000 Hey, David Beckham with the Washboard Abs.

00:37:41.000 Move along, please.

00:37:46.000 Wait, go back.

00:37:47.000 I queued it up wrong.

00:37:50.000 I would not like to be your mother for all the tea in China.

00:37:53.000 I would not like to be your mother for all the tea in China.

00:37:55.000 I'm weak.

00:37:57.000 That is ridiculous.

00:37:58.000 Okay, here's the option.

00:38:00.000 It's either 6 billion pounds of tea worth a billion dollars, by the by, or you be this bitch's mom.

00:38:10.000 Which you're already acting like her mom.

00:38:12.000 No, actually.

00:38:13.000 Wait, it's not an either or.

00:38:14.000 If you will become her mother, we'll give you over 1 billion.

00:38:17.000 Well, you'll be running a major industry.

00:38:19.000 I assume what's the tea industry in China worth?

00:38:25.000 I'm going to guess it's got to be in the billions, right?

00:38:28.000 I would assume.

00:38:29.000 Tea industry in China.

00:38:33.000 According to DuckDuckGo, because we don't use Google anymore, this woman would not be that woman's billion-dollar industry, I'm going to say.

00:38:52.000 It amounts to $1.45 billion in total.

00:38:55.000 So she wouldn't be your mom for $1.45 billion?

00:38:58.000 You could just farm out most of the jobs to the nanny and the au pair and the maid.

00:39:04.000 you're a billionaire now, you silly cow.

00:39:07.000 You could have a nanny take care of her.

00:39:09.000 So I wouldn't be your mom for $1.45 billion.

00:39:12.000 It would just be paperwork.

00:39:13.000 You don't have to take care of this woman.

00:39:14.000 Yeah, she's like 30.

00:39:16.000 I don't think she even lives at home.

00:39:17.000 She'd fly the coop, give her some money, she'd live somewhere else.

00:39:19.000 I guess it's retroactive, though.

00:39:21.000 You have to have raised her.

00:39:22.000 Ah.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, that's kind of weird.

00:39:24.000 Still, 1.45 B's.

00:39:26.000 Woman, number one, I wouldn't want you to be my mother.

00:39:29.000 And number two, you're white.

00:39:30.000 I'm black.

00:39:31.000 So you can't be my mother's house.

00:39:33.000 They're really deep in Samantha.

00:39:34.000 No, no, it gets deeper.

00:39:36.000 This is crazy.

00:39:37.000 You leave anything with a black father.

00:39:39.000 Mate, I'm not mixed race.

00:39:40.000 I'm full black.

00:39:42.000 And I like to be that way.

00:39:43.000 What are you very nice?

00:39:46.000 Fine.

00:39:47.000 You look very attractive, but you just aren't white.

00:39:52.000 Don't play mom, mate.

00:39:53.000 You're so understanding.

00:39:56.000 Yeah, were you afraid to play down mix?

00:39:58.000 Did you just catch that?

00:39:59.000 Yeah.

00:40:00.000 First of all, you couldn't be my mother because you're white.

00:40:02.000 Well, the father could be black.

00:40:03.000 Well, I'm not mixed.

00:40:04.000 I'm black.

00:40:05.000 And I like it that way.

00:40:06.000 Well, you're very lovely.

00:40:09.000 And then she flips out unnecessarily.

00:40:11.000 Now she's a lesbian, I guess.

00:40:13.000 Right.

00:40:13.000 Maybe she is a lesbian.

00:40:14.000 Hmm.

00:40:15.000 Fedora.

00:40:16.000 It is kind of a Leslie hat.

00:40:21.000 Fine.

00:40:21.000 You look very attractive, but you don't.

00:40:24.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:40:26.000 Don't play your arm, Madame.

00:40:28.000 You're so understanding this year.

00:40:30.000 Is a lesbian getting horny now?

00:40:32.000 You just went back.

00:40:35.000 I will not back down.

00:40:39.000 She's kind of concerned.

00:40:40.000 She's like, I think I lost it.

00:40:41.000 How much time is there left?

00:40:42.000 Because this is amazing.

00:40:45.000 About a minute.

00:40:47.000 20 minutes.

00:40:48.000 A minute, 20 seconds.

00:40:49.000 Holy shit.

00:40:50.000 What is it?

00:40:50.000 Like a seven-minute video?

00:40:52.000 Imagine having a seven-minute argument about headphones.

00:40:55.000 Only brads.

00:40:56.000 The only way this could be more ridiculous and irritating, and I don't mean irating, is if they were Cantonese.

00:41:02.000 There's nothing harder on the ears than a Cantonese argument.

00:41:06.000 Yeah, well, you just were rude to me, and I said, I asked you nicely, and you frankly ignored me.

00:41:10.000 I'm only going to say, sorry, love, I'm sorry.

00:41:12.000 But you think you're so high and nice, you can do whatever you want.

00:41:15.000 You cannot.

00:41:16.000 There are rules in this country.

00:41:17.000 I can still hear your music.

00:41:19.000 In this country, it's all right to spin into it.

00:41:24.000 Hi, welcome to Britain.

00:41:25.000 First, you should know the rules.

00:41:27.000 And besides not murdering, stealing, or raping, don't have your headphones on too loud where other people can hear.

00:41:33.000 It's very, very, very vrood.

00:41:36.000 Spelled V-R-U-D-E.

00:41:38.000 Vrood.

00:41:38.000 You're vrood.

00:41:42.000 She's upset she doesn't have her attention.

00:41:44.000 You know, that reminds me, when I was down for Tommy Robinson's trial, I'm talking to Ezra Levant and this woman has her phone this close to my face.

00:41:54.000 And she's a conservative.

00:41:56.000 And I go, can you get your phone out of my face, please?

00:41:58.000 And she goes, you are very rude.

00:42:01.000 I drove all the way from wherever the fuck, Birmingham for this.

00:42:05.000 I don't give a shit if you came from Mars.

00:42:06.000 I said that to her, too.

00:42:08.000 She's like, that's so rude.

00:42:09.000 And then she went back to filming me like right up to my gorilla like this.

00:42:14.000 It's like, I own the rights to video Earth.

00:42:17.000 Yeah, wasn't that on tape?

00:42:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:21.000 Wow, you're fast.

00:42:23.000 Yeah, that's her.

00:42:25.000 That's the woman I'm talking about.

00:42:27.000 Look at that phone.

00:42:32.000 What are they doing?

00:42:34.000 Where's that video going to live?

00:42:36.000 That's the bitch I was just talking about.

00:42:38.000 And I'm pleased to say that a fellow Rebel alumnus, Gavin Ross.

00:42:42.000 And you're seeing a HD camera in front of it.

00:42:44.000 Like, they're doing a better job than what you're doing.

00:42:46.000 What are you doing?

00:42:47.000 This is already being recorded, kids.

00:42:49.000 Look at this paparazzi.

00:42:51.000 Great to see you.

00:42:51.000 Great to see you, Ezra.

00:42:53.000 It's great to see you, but we are here for an unhappy reason.

00:42:55.000 Our friend Tommy Robinson is in court for, what, the fourth time now, just for doing what in America or Canada would be called citizen journalism.

00:43:04.000 Yeah, he's doing his trial twice.

00:43:06.000 Just pause.

00:43:07.000 They're commiserating each other because I just balled them both out.

00:43:11.000 And she's like, he's rude.

00:43:12.000 Oh, that happened right before that?

00:43:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:14.000 I just balled her out.

00:43:15.000 Oh.

00:43:16.000 They delayed it.

00:43:16.000 He's rude.

00:43:18.000 Yeah, he's doing his trial twice now for contempt of court.

00:43:22.000 He's rude.

00:43:23.000 He's so fucking rude.

00:43:25.000 So are we getting back to these cackling hens?

00:43:28.000 Yeah.

00:43:28.000 Oh, we should catch up on the news, too.

00:43:30.000 There's some things we can't bother mentioning tomorrow.

00:43:32.000 So Boris Johnson is in London.

00:43:35.000 He's the Prime Minister of Britain now.

00:43:37.000 It's just like Trump.

00:43:38.000 When he was the mayor of London, wasn't he mayor of London?

00:43:41.000 I'm pretty sure he was.

00:43:42.000 Everyone adored him.

00:43:44.000 But now, because of Brexit and everything, he's a Nazi and they hate his guts and he's the worst prime minister ever.

00:43:53.000 Scotland, I'm a little disappointed with my Scottish brethren.

00:43:56.000 They're bleeding on about separatism again and protesting this.

00:44:01.000 They're such pedantic underdog lovers.

00:44:04.000 Everyone, anytime anyone seems to be the underdog, they go for it.

00:44:08.000 Even if it's Muslim refugees raping women, they're like, well, they're not the mainstream.

00:44:12.000 So I'm on that team.

00:44:13.000 Fucking, fucking.

00:44:18.000 Celtics, the Glaswegian soccer team, hold up Palestinian flags at their matches.

00:44:24.000 What?

00:44:26.000 What?

00:44:27.000 Because it's underdogs.

00:44:30.000 People don't like them just like they don't like us.

00:44:34.000 And Israel's mucking about with them just like the English does.

00:44:38.000 So that's my team.

00:44:40.000 I like the team that's getting shot on.

00:44:43.000 Even if they're fucking terrible.

00:44:45.000 Look at that.

00:44:46.000 Free Palestine?

00:44:47.000 You're in Glasgow, Scotland.

00:44:51.000 Fucking mad.

00:44:52.000 But anyway, it was Antifa got to the streets, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace to protest a democratic election.

00:45:05.000 And my favorite part about it, I haven't actually watched this clip, but I saw a ton of clips.

00:45:09.000 And one chant they kept repeating, they got from us, was, this is what democracy looks like.

00:45:15.000 That's it.

00:45:16.000 They just repeat it and repeat it and repeat it because they're brainless, Maoist commies.

00:45:22.000 Democracy looks like Boris Johnson getting democratically elected, you noobs.

00:45:30.000 In just the last couple of minutes, we've watched these demonstrations turn rowdy.

00:45:34.000 The issue is that Conservative Prime Minister Boris Johnson won a big victory last night ahead of Brexit.

00:45:41.000 Now, police are fighting back against protesters using batons to smack down some of them.

00:45:46.000 We've seen a couple of protesters on the ground, their faces bloody, but here in the United States, President Trump is praising the Prime Minister for his win and saying it might be a sign of things to come in the States.

00:45:59.000 I want to congratulate Boris Johnson on a terrific victory.

00:46:02.000 Here is, not that.

00:46:04.000 Boris Johnson's hair is distracting, isn't it?

00:46:06.000 All right, that's enough.

00:46:06.000 Maybe you could find some better footage.

00:46:08.000 I guess I shouldn't send you links without looking at them.

00:46:12.000 There was just so many of them.

00:46:13.000 Just look up Antifa Boris Johnson London protests.

00:46:17.000 That might even be on Andy No's Twitter.

00:46:19.000 Andy Knows Twitter is just a feel-good place to be, I find.

00:46:23.000 If I'm depressed or something or I'm in a mood, I'll go to Andy Knows Twitter and it'll feel like we're winning.

00:46:33.000 Antifa Boris Johnson.

00:46:38.000 I saw this one, too.

00:46:39.000 This is just a mom pushing.

00:46:44.000 Hold the lane!

00:46:46.000 Hold the lane!

00:46:49.000 Look, what do you want?

00:46:50.000 You want to vandalize these shops?

00:46:53.000 What are they chanting?

00:46:54.000 Who do you protect?

00:46:55.000 Who do you serve?

00:46:55.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:56.000 They kept repeating that.

00:46:57.000 Screaming that in cops' faces.

00:47:01.000 Stand up to racism?

00:47:02.000 Another thing they wouldn't shut up about was the NHS.

00:47:05.000 Boris Johnson's going to take away health care?

00:47:08.000 What?

00:47:11.000 You got to see these fat losers, though, that were on the front lines.

00:47:15.000 Just hideous, pathetic human beings.

00:47:19.000 That might be it.

00:47:20.000 I see some fatties here.

00:47:22.000 Up here.

00:47:23.000 Wow, this is kind of a long video here.

00:47:28.000 No other racism.

00:47:29.000 It is strange how all the signs are the same, right?

00:47:35.000 Not a very organic protest, is it?

00:47:39.000 Didn't I send you a picture of what's his name?

00:47:41.000 Owen Jones.

00:47:42.000 He was their big guy.

00:47:43.000 The big guys with labor are Jeremy Corbin, of course, was the pro-Hamas, pro-terrorist, pro-Sharia.

00:47:50.000 Basically, he was Yasser Arafat.

00:47:53.000 And did not appear to like Jews very much, and that didn't go down very well for him.

00:47:59.000 But I think I sent you this as an email, separate email.

00:48:04.000 Okay, gotcha.

00:48:05.000 Not security guard meme.

00:48:08.000 No, that's not it.

00:48:11.000 That's the only one I got there.

00:48:17.000 Well, anyway, this guy, Owen Jones, was in tears.

00:48:21.000 Actually, I don't know if he was literally in tears, but he was very verklempt about the loss.

00:48:25.000 And he had...

00:48:27.000 I was sure I said...

00:48:28.000 Oh, maybe I...

00:48:36.000 When they were so sure they were going to win.

00:48:38.000 Here, I'll send it to you now.

00:48:40.000 Owen Jones, Living Perfect.

00:48:41.000 Take down a Boris Johnson.

00:48:43.000 No.

00:48:45.000 Did you change your name on your email to Ryan Rivera?

00:48:50.000 No, I don't think so.

00:48:51.000 Well, on my phone, it says update your contact with a new picture.

00:48:56.000 Oh, I think you just got the new update or something.

00:48:58.000 Yeah, but I did, and then now it says Ryan Rivera.

00:49:01.000 Are you ashamed of Katsu?

00:49:03.000 No.

00:49:06.000 No.

00:49:07.000 It's just the way it is.

00:49:10.000 Owen Jones, correct?

00:49:11.000 Yeah, that's the guy.

00:49:12.000 But I just sent you a picture.

00:49:16.000 It's fun watching them suffer, isn't it?

00:49:19.000 Look at this bizarre...

00:49:26.000 Will suck dick for socialism.

00:49:29.000 This is before they lost.

00:49:31.000 Wow.

00:49:32.000 Doesn't that kind of sum it up?

00:49:34.000 The whole pro-choice thing is really just about being a slut.

00:49:37.000 And the whole socialism thing is really about sluts having all their bills paid.

00:49:41.000 It's horror culture.

00:49:43.000 Like the woman who poured water on us.

00:49:45.000 She sells nudes online.

00:49:49.000 Yeah.

00:49:49.000 What's this now?

00:49:50.000 Is this post?

00:49:52.000 Sad night for you because you're not best pleased.

00:49:55.000 No.

00:49:56.000 I mean, even your newspaper admits the problem.

00:49:59.000 Of course.

00:50:00.000 I mean, you can't get away from it.

00:50:01.000 Yeah, I'm devastated.

00:50:02.000 I'm not devastated for myself.

00:50:04.000 You know, I'll be all right.

00:50:06.000 I worry about low-paid workers.

00:50:08.000 You know, I travel around the country meeting people who've suffered.

00:50:11.000 Their wages have fallen.

00:50:12.000 I meet disabled people, have their benefits stripped away.

00:50:15.000 I meet people who can't get an affordable house.

00:50:17.000 I meet nurses who are struggling in an NHS.

00:50:21.000 If you knew how socialist it was, you'd be mortified right now.

00:50:23.000 And they're such slaves here.

00:50:24.000 Remember when I started making money, I said to my gran in Glasgow, I'll send you up some money.

00:50:27.000 I could buy an apartment.

00:50:28.000 No, no, no, don't do that.

00:50:30.000 The council will take away my benefits if they see I'm making money.

00:50:34.000 Or even if I have a nice TV.

00:50:36.000 All right.

00:50:39.000 You remain a slave.

00:50:40.000 Okay, here's another story I have to squeeze in before we get to the main bag.

00:50:42.000 He doesn't cry?

00:50:43.000 Who's been hammered for the last few years and whose life is really difficult?

00:50:49.000 Twat.

00:50:51.000 So Seattle is also very socialist, and they want to cure their homeless problem.

00:50:56.000 So what they do is they have a seminar.

00:50:59.000 And at this seminar, they all get together and they have speakers come up and they talk about all the money they need and how the taxpayers should pony up more.

00:51:07.000 This, by the way, is one two.

00:51:13.000 And this includes entertainment.

00:51:15.000 After the talks, let's have some entertainment.

00:51:18.000 So scroll down, go to the video.

00:51:21.000 This is the entertainment they get while discussing the homeless problems in Seattle.

00:51:30.000 Lizzo.

00:51:34.000 You can hire Lizzo?

00:51:35.000 Hizzzo.

00:51:36.000 Oh, yeah, that's so then they start putting money in this mentally ill gay's gigantic fat bathing suit to cure homelessness.

00:51:50.000 This is where our tax dollars go.

00:51:55.000 You know what's crazy, though?

00:51:57.000 If I was at a homeless seminar as a bureaucrat, This is about as interesting as the entertainment could get, and I'd be.

00:52:05.000 I know this goes against the thrust of this whole piece, but you'd be like, Well, that's not boring.

00:52:11.000 That's right, that's true.

00:52:12.000 Like, I didn't know that their tits could get that big and floppy.

00:52:17.000 This has been the most interesting seminar I've ever been to.

00:52:20.000 And maybe, I can't believe I'm defending it now.

00:52:22.000 Maybe if the first, you know, 80% of the whole thing was very informative and they learned a lot, and then they had a trans stripper, I don't know.

00:52:30.000 This is why I can't get down with America first.

00:52:34.000 I'm kind of a hedonist.

00:52:37.000 All right, let's, I don't know why I've had these papers here.

00:52:40.000 Harvey Weinstein had an argument with the missus about him today.

00:52:43.000 If you sucked his dick and got a movie role, you're an expensive prostitute and you have no right to complain.

00:52:50.000 If you refused and you didn't report him, you were complicit in future sexual harassments.

00:52:58.000 So your third option is reporting it, and so you lose your career.

00:53:02.000 Big fucking deal.

00:53:03.000 620,000 men lost their lives in the Civil War.

00:53:06.000 You can be uncomfortable to prevent women getting raped.

00:53:11.000 But I don't know.

00:53:12.000 We coddle women so much that no one is saying about this whole thing.

00:53:18.000 No one's talking about the woman who performed sex acts to get into movies.

00:53:22.000 You're condoning that behavior.

00:53:24.000 Chelsea Handler.

00:53:25.000 Did Chelsea Handler do that?

00:53:26.000 She admitted doing that, yeah.

00:53:29.000 She was bragging about it.

00:53:30.000 I'm not bragging.

00:53:32.000 I'm not bragging.

00:53:33.000 And then she does a hell of white privilege thing on there.

00:53:35.000 And then some new news on this.

00:53:36.000 This is a park in Harlem where this girl was stabbed to death.

00:53:39.000 She was probably buying pot.

00:53:41.000 I'm not blaming her for her death.

00:53:43.000 I'm not victim blaming.

00:53:44.000 I'm just saying that we need to instill in our women some fucking instincts.

00:53:49.000 Don't go to parks in Harlem where there's a crime and a mugging every day.

00:53:54.000 And it's all these, not just fatherless black teens, but they just say teens in the New York Post, by the way.

00:54:01.000 Teens.

00:54:02.000 Those damn teens.

00:54:04.000 It's parentless adolescents.

00:54:06.000 Like you look at who's showing up to court and it's the aunt and the uncle.

00:54:09.000 The mom isn't even around.

00:54:11.000 The mom had them when she was 15.

00:54:13.000 She's a baby herself.

00:54:16.000 So she got stabbed and I just think, God, I got to make it clear to my daughter.

00:54:19.000 There's no go zones in New York.

00:54:22.000 Don't just, and looking for pot.

00:54:24.000 If you're buying pot, you should just have a guy.

00:54:27.000 You don't walk around going, hi, pot?

00:54:30.000 No?

00:54:30.000 Okay.

00:54:31.000 Do you have any mery want?

00:54:31.000 What about you?

00:54:32.000 Oh, you're a Rastafarian.

00:54:34.000 You guys smoke pot.

00:54:34.000 Do you have any pot?

00:54:36.000 That's what Milo did when we were going to DC.

00:54:39.000 He saw some drug-dealing looking and he goes, hello, do you have any drugs?

00:54:43.000 And he goes, yeah, man, I'm selling pills.

00:54:46.000 How much?

00:54:47.000 I can give you this, $250.

00:54:49.000 And Milo just assumes that it's going to be Adderall, Xanax.

00:54:54.000 It's like cough medicine and aspirin.

00:54:56.000 It's just a bunch of pills he got from his medicine cabinet.

00:54:59.000 Speaking of Milo, by the way, we haven't covered that.

00:55:02.000 I was a little inebriated on Friday.

00:55:06.000 When?

00:55:06.000 What do you mean?

00:55:07.000 I do not recall any of this.

00:55:09.000 Any of what?

00:55:11.000 Doing Milo's show.

00:55:13.000 Oh, that?

00:55:14.000 You were drunk for that?

00:55:15.000 A little bit.

00:55:16.000 Really?

00:55:17.000 Well, it's your fault.

00:55:19.000 Because you said you'd be on the 5.30, so I went to the train station.

00:55:23.000 You weren't there at 5.30.

00:55:25.000 So I had to kill time, wait for the next train in a bar.

00:55:28.000 That started the whole thing.

00:55:30.000 Dang it.

00:55:31.000 Then they gave me a to-go beer.

00:55:32.000 Here's a tweet from a typical leftist in the UK.

00:55:37.000 Wait, go back to the G. I think you were at your drunkest best during this interview.

00:55:47.000 That's exactly my dad.

00:55:49.000 Am I falling asleep there?

00:55:52.000 I zoomed in on your face at one point.

00:55:55.000 Oh my god, I'm asleep.

00:56:00.000 That's not very professional.

00:56:01.000 You actually don't remember it.

00:56:02.000 You can't remember things that you're not conscious for.

00:56:05.000 It's not your fault.

00:56:06.000 That's really going to sell.

00:56:08.000 Scene of the crime, you don't know what it is.

00:56:09.000 Dude, why are you filming through a tree?

00:56:11.000 He tries to move the...

00:56:15.000 Is he talking about me?

00:56:16.000 No.

00:56:17.000 The guy tries to move the tree, Daniel.

00:56:19.000 And then Milo puts it back, and then Daniel's like, no, dude, it's in my way.

00:56:22.000 It's in my face.

00:56:23.000 And then he moves it again, then they throw the tree and effectively smash it to bits.

00:56:28.000 Look at that.

00:56:29.000 Just completely asleep.

00:56:30.000 Yeah, I zoomed in on the other side.

00:56:34.000 Is asparten.

00:56:35.000 I'm not sure, though.

00:56:36.000 But I'm sorry to hear it.

00:56:37.000 But, but, but, thanks.

00:56:41.000 It's actually a congenital defect.

00:56:43.000 He thinks they laughed at that.

00:56:43.000 Sorry.

00:56:45.000 Yeah, no, they're not laughing at you going blind, my boy.

00:56:49.000 I'm glad you found it amusing.

00:56:50.000 It's actually a congenital defect.

00:56:52.000 It's like, no, the sleeping Irishman, a Scotsman on your couch.

00:56:56.000 Do you have any of me saying anything?

00:56:57.000 I mean, that China does not automatically.

00:57:01.000 This isn't that interesting to the viewer.

00:57:03.000 I'm sorry, folks, to waste your time if you've already seen this.

00:57:05.000 I haven't seen it yet.

00:57:06.000 I don't remember being.

00:57:07.000 Because there was a kid's Hasidic school next to the shooting.

00:57:11.000 I'm going to go to a cemetery first.

00:57:14.000 Oh, my God.

00:57:14.000 I'm talking about the theory I just spoke about.

00:57:17.000 By the way, congratulations with Port Johnson.

00:57:20.000 Oh, well, thank you.

00:57:22.000 We're about to get onto that, actually.

00:57:23.000 I'm so glad you said so.

00:57:25.000 The British election.

00:57:26.000 There was an election yesterday in the UK, and I have to tell you, the left is taking it so well.

00:57:33.000 Oh, great.

00:57:34.000 No, they are.

00:57:35.000 They are.

00:57:36.000 They are treating you with the goodness that you would expect from them.

00:57:40.000 I'm a good drunk.

00:57:41.000 Yeah.

00:57:42.000 Now, one final thing.

00:57:42.000 Yeah, you are.

00:57:45.000 You actually get nicer when you get drunk.

00:57:45.000 I'm an expert.

00:57:47.000 But not like uncomfortably nice.

00:57:49.000 Slightly take a moment.

00:57:51.000 Here it is.

00:57:51.000 Isn't that a pink floor?

00:57:53.000 Someone says, thank you, Britton.

00:57:54.000 Okay.

00:57:55.000 That's enough for that.

00:57:56.000 You got to see them watch.

00:57:57.000 It's a good episode.

00:57:57.000 Okay, I'll check it out.

00:57:58.000 But speaking of tweets, I've noticed this real virulent racism towards white people, and it's from black women on Twitter.

00:58:08.000 They really do not like the whites, especially the light-skinned ones like that woman that was on the bus, who's full black.

00:58:14.000 I'm proud of it.

00:58:16.000 If you will.

00:58:17.000 But check out this tweet.

00:58:22.000 444.

00:58:24.000 Yeah.

00:58:25.000 This little girl just said, thank you for your service to mall security.

00:58:30.000 I fucking hate white people.

00:58:32.000 What race is the woman who said that?

00:58:34.000 I can't really see the icons.

00:58:35.000 I see some darkness.

00:58:36.000 E Swervo.

00:58:38.000 I'm sorry that a five-year-old mistook a security guard's uniform for a military uniform.

00:58:43.000 It's a pretty easy mistake to make.

00:58:45.000 Yeah, very for white people, maybe.

00:58:47.000 Why are white people?

00:58:49.000 They're more inclined to thank people who aren't in the ranks.

00:58:49.000 It's not such a thing.

00:58:52.000 Imagine someone, a white person said that about a black child.

00:58:55.000 You'd go, dude, dude.

00:58:56.000 Yeah.

00:58:57.000 Chill out.

00:58:59.000 The hell's the matter with you?

00:59:02.000 Is this her?

00:59:05.000 Yeah.

00:59:06.000 Okay, so she fucking hates white people.

00:59:10.000 How old is this little thing?

00:59:12.000 Yeah, she looks like she's maybe 12 or 13.

00:59:15.000 I can't tell, though, but I don't care.

00:59:17.000 All right, so that's one.

00:59:18.000 And then look at this one.

00:59:19.000 White people in the rain.

00:59:22.000 L-O-R.

00:59:24.000 These are all pics sent separately.

00:59:31.000 Okay, this is a different one, but we can do this one.

00:59:32.000 Fat Rebel.

00:59:34.000 Casual fucking reminder.

00:59:36.000 She's so mad that white race scientists, whatever the hell that is, does she mean white scientists?

00:59:43.000 Invented fat phobia and the concept of obesity.

00:59:47.000 If you are ever fat phobic or are on some, oh, well, fat is unhealthy bullshit.

00:59:52.000 I hope you fucking know that someone's white ancestor is smiling in their grave.

00:59:56.000 By the way, why is that so horrible?

00:59:59.000 For someone to be, you know, happy and dead.

01:00:02.000 You know what I mean?

01:00:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:00:03.000 Like, you're probably making old white people happy now.

01:00:06.000 They're the worst people in the world.

01:00:08.000 Dead presidents.

01:00:10.000 Dead white people.

01:00:11.000 They always say that all the time, too.

01:00:12.000 Like, I went to class, it was a bunch of old, dead white men.

01:00:17.000 What's she saying?

01:00:19.000 I'm always shocked at white people's ability to nonchalantly walk in the rain like it's not raining.

01:00:24.000 But I guess when you've bathed in bloodshed for centuries, a little water doesn't really change.

01:00:31.000 You have to be proud of stuff like that.

01:00:33.000 You know that when we were bathing in slaves' blood, it wasn't cold and falling from the sky.

01:00:39.000 That's the difference.

01:00:41.000 What?

01:00:41.000 And also, that never happened.

01:00:43.000 Nobody bathes in blood.

01:00:45.000 That all brings me to this.

01:00:47.000 Someone went onto a campus with a sign that said, it's okay to be white, which was just a suicidal thing to do.

01:00:53.000 What were you thinking?

01:00:55.000 People can be racist against white people.

01:00:57.000 I just don't think because I feel like since there is just such racism within white people and people who are whites are racist, just that internal, just like, I'm better than you because I'm white.

01:01:10.000 I mean, like.

01:01:11.000 Yeah, I get that all the time.

01:01:13.000 How many times you go into a bar and there's just a bunch of white guys going, we're better than everyone because we're white.

01:01:18.000 Yeah.

01:01:20.000 It's those people all the time here.

01:01:22.000 So Richard Spencer is a cunt.

01:01:24.000 Hey, what does that sign say?

01:01:27.000 Small penis, Nazis sympathizer, have inferiority complex in common with Trump.

01:01:32.000 That's a lot to say.

01:01:35.000 What an interesting sign.

01:01:36.000 So it takes a lot of time.

01:01:37.000 Small penis, right?

01:01:38.000 So I'm black.

01:01:39.000 What is that thing?

01:01:41.000 That's a woman who was pretty and ruined herself with feminism.

01:01:45.000 You know that black people have...

01:01:49.000 I'm kidding.

01:01:50.000 I'm kidding.

01:01:52.000 So why do you think we're small penis?

01:01:53.000 Did you just assume my gender?

01:01:55.000 People have been treated incriminated because of the color of their skin.

01:01:58.000 People have been incriminated because of the color of their skin.

01:02:01.000 That's true.

01:02:05.000 And it gets them to like this victim mentality that makes them feel like they can never achieve anything.

01:02:11.000 I identify as a woman.

01:02:12.000 Okay, excellent.

01:02:13.000 We accept you here.

01:02:15.000 And that's just all we're trying to do.

01:02:18.000 I love it.

01:02:18.000 Nice.

01:02:19.000 You don't think the straight- it's easy to be white?

01:02:22.000 Because your skin has never.

01:02:25.000 Your skin has never been a crime.

01:02:27.000 Or acrim.

01:02:28.000 Acrimy?

01:02:29.000 Acram.

01:02:30.000 Acramy.

01:02:30.000 Your skin's never been an acramy.

01:02:32.000 I guess that's when it's ashy and you have to put cocoa butter on it.

01:02:35.000 And also acrony involved, I think.

01:02:39.000 Okay, watch one later.

01:02:40.000 You don't think the straight male white identity is under attack?

01:02:46.000 I hate that smug college laugh.

01:02:48.000 Yeah.

01:02:52.000 It's so phony.

01:02:54.000 That guy's 50 years old and he just went to college just to get laid, you think?

01:02:58.000 Ugh.

01:02:59.000 No!

01:02:59.000 Uh, familiar with the...

01:03:03.000 Yeah, he's a comedian.

01:03:04.000 I'm not familiar with the word.

01:03:05.000 Why don't you tell us why?

01:03:06.000 Why do you want us to get the fuck off campus?

01:03:09.000 Tell me again.

01:03:10.000 You said you want us to get the fuck off campus, so tell me again.

01:03:13.000 Yeah?

01:03:14.000 Nothing to say now?

01:03:16.000 Y'all.

01:03:17.000 Tell me I'm a white supremacist person.

01:03:18.000 Y'all are facing this.

01:03:22.000 I'm not talking to you.

01:03:23.000 I'm talking to this guy with this side.

01:03:24.000 I don't know who you are.

01:03:25.000 Control yourself, sir.

01:03:26.000 You're not going to get your ass beat by the people recording the video.

01:03:29.000 White supremacist, please.

01:03:30.000 I'm not talking to you.

01:03:31.000 I'm talking to this guy with this side.

01:03:32.000 I don't know who you are.

01:03:33.000 Yeah, that's fine.

01:03:35.000 That's great.

01:03:36.000 That's great.

01:03:36.000 I just really don't like your hat.

01:03:40.000 Serial killer energy.

01:03:42.000 Yeah.

01:03:42.000 Anyway.

01:03:43.000 I can't even production.

01:03:44.000 Keep back so people can see the.

01:03:46.000 I think.

01:03:50.000 Millennium has kind of made something better than TV.

01:03:53.000 You go on YouTube, and the things that are suggested are so much more interesting.

01:03:57.000 If I was channel flipping, and the things that come up with my algorithms on YouTube were on TV, I'd go, what is this?

01:04:03.000 The best night of TV I've ever seen?

01:04:07.000 Let's go to the mailbag.

01:04:08.000 Oh.

01:04:13.000 That's the bag of mail that we hit on when there's topics and yeah, it's the bag of mail that we hit on when there's topics.

01:04:24.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:04:29.000 Let me touch it.

01:04:33.000 Okay.

01:04:37.000 Uh-oh.

01:04:38.000 This is a support request.

01:04:40.000 Just says, you suck.

01:04:41.000 Just wanted to let you know that I find you to be boring.

01:04:45.000 I have given you ample opportunity to show me something fun, but no, you would rather trash what I do for a living.

01:04:51.000 I am canceling my hard-eared membership.

01:04:55.000 What is that?

01:04:56.000 I don't know.

01:04:57.000 I guess he has a subscription to hard ears.

01:05:00.000 Hard ears.

01:05:01.000 I wonder what's your profession, dude?

01:05:04.000 Male nurse?

01:05:05.000 Flight attendant?

01:05:07.000 Oh, well, that was a useless letter.

01:05:10.000 This one's from Mark.

01:05:11.000 Ever hear Into the Night by Benny Mardones?

01:05:14.000 It starts out: she's just 16 years old.

01:05:17.000 Leave her alone, they say.

01:05:18.000 Well, the video is just as nuts.

01:05:20.000 The guy basically sneaks into some 16-year-old girl's room, gets her on a magic carpet, and flies off into the night and makes out with her.

01:05:26.000 Give it a peek.

01:05:28.000 Let me see what the age of consent is in America.

01:05:34.000 in that time?

01:05:34.000 Didn't statutory rape just like The age limit thing?

01:05:42.000 The age of consent?

01:05:43.000 Didn't that start in like 70?

01:05:44.000 Didn't it 16?

01:05:47.000 Didn't that start in the 70s?

01:05:48.000 I just heard that recently.

01:05:48.000 Somebody?

01:05:51.000 Oh, I like the song though.

01:05:56.000 Holy shit, she's a fucking child.

01:06:00.000 I'll tell you a love like you've never seen, ever seen.

01:06:08.000 Boy.

01:06:09.000 You're lucky that dad didn't walk by the window when you were doing that.

01:06:12.000 I know somebody that really likes the granny pedophile.

01:06:16.000 I got a friend that really likes the song.

01:06:18.000 I got a friend that really cares.

01:06:20.000 Age of Consent, America, 1980s.

01:06:26.000 Do you see the Age of Consent was 14?

01:06:28.000 Oh, but that was in Ocean.

01:06:31.000 The good old days?

01:06:36.000 Watching it for us.

01:06:44.000 All right, that's enough of that.

01:06:46.000 Did you know it's 12 in Mexico?

01:06:48.000 You.

01:06:49.000 12.

01:06:50.000 That's crazy.

01:06:52.000 Next time you hear that a girl is 12, have a look.

01:06:56.000 You'll be stunned at what a child she is.

01:06:58.000 You guys probably don't have kids, but like my daughter's 13.

01:07:01.000 I remember last year when she'd have a sleepover.

01:07:04.000 Those were infants.

01:07:05.000 Those were little tiny people.

01:07:07.000 The idea of a relationship?

01:07:09.000 Jesus Christ, fucking disgusting.

01:07:11.000 What's this?

01:07:13.000 This is just from Daryl, and it appears to be a video of a plump woman in a bathing suit.

01:07:19.000 Do you want to pull that up?

01:07:21.000 Daryl D-A-R-Y-L?

01:07:25.000 No?

01:07:26.000 D-A-R-R-E-L.

01:07:29.000 We got this 1230.

01:07:32.000 Fatty Lizzo.

01:07:33.000 Is it actually Lizzo?

01:07:34.000 I don't think so.

01:07:37.000 This is not really downloading.

01:07:40.000 The virus?

01:07:42.000 Uh oh.

01:07:54.000 Why would she do that?

01:07:55.000 What?

01:07:56.000 Why would she do that?

01:07:57.000 What did you think was going to happen?

01:08:04.000 She just did the Dudley Boys.

01:08:06.000 Like, that's on purpose.

01:08:08.000 Next, coming from Kyle, listening to your live episode last Thursday, you brought up that you didn't know the meaning of Kevefe.

01:08:14.000 I learned while watching a video making fun of Brian Stelter and his groundbreaking reporting on Trump's misspelled tweets, Trump tweeted, despite the constant negative press, Kevefe.

01:08:25.000 You can Google it and find the whole story or just ask the people paying you to advertise coffee.

01:08:29.000 Yes, dude, I'm very familiar with the Trump tweet, but the story is that that wasn't a typo and it really is a word.

01:08:38.000 Jesus, how half-assed do you think we are on this show?

01:08:41.000 So I looked it up.

01:08:42.000 Snope says, no, it's not a word.

01:08:44.000 But other sites say, yes, it's an Arab word and it was already an acronym that was being used and it was about to come into law.

01:08:52.000 Yeah, he knew about it that it was going to be passed.

01:08:54.000 This is such a millennial thing to do.

01:08:56.000 They always explain shit to me without understanding what I was doing or what my real question was.

01:09:01.000 Piash, let's hear your thoughts on Sasquatch.

01:09:04.000 Out of left field, I know, but as a Canadian tree planter, it had to have been brought up at some point.

01:09:09.000 I try to keep an open mind with stuff like this.

01:09:11.000 Jesus, you're a retard.

01:09:13.000 But how could there be a giant undiscovered monkey in the woods?

01:09:16.000 How do you explain all these people seeing, hearing it?

01:09:19.000 Went down a YouTube rabbit hole and figured out an interesting take on the subject.

01:09:22.000 Good stuff.

01:09:24.000 It's called a bear walking on its hind legs, which they often do.

01:09:30.000 When we see them, they're near garbage or something that they're skulking around.

01:09:34.000 Or they're going from A to B. But it's not uncommon for a bear, black bear, brown bears, to walk on their hind legs.

01:09:40.000 That's what these people saw.

01:09:42.000 No, there's no such thing as Sasquatch.

01:09:46.000 I think we hit on this on the Milo show, too.

01:09:47.000 That was one of the funny moments.

01:09:49.000 Really?

01:09:50.000 Yeah, he said he's like, UFOs.

01:09:52.000 You're like, fags.

01:09:54.000 He's like, Sasquatch, homosexual.

01:09:58.000 Wow, sounds like I was real witty.

01:10:00.000 Yeah.

01:10:01.000 Okay, last letter.

01:10:01.000 Gavin, this is a dumb request that will almost certainly be ignored.

01:10:04.000 Allow me to state my case.

01:10:05.000 I'm a red-blooded, die-hard conservative.

01:10:07.000 I have three kids and a wife.

01:10:08.000 I'm 36.

01:10:09.000 My neighbor is some kind of Havzi that he hasn't decided quite yet, but he's got one kid, a wife, and he's in his late 40s.

01:10:16.000 He loves his guns, and we agree on most freedom issues, but I'm a Christian.

01:10:19.000 He's basically an agnostic liberal.

01:10:21.000 He's maybe turned libertarian since I've talked to him.

01:10:23.000 Anyway, despite this madness, we make a fire almost every Friday night and discuss the state of politics, religion, all matters of science until we are so drunk we can't speak.

01:10:30.000 Then we part ways and move on with our lives.

01:10:32.000 And of course, we habitually repeat this process weekly.

01:10:35.000 That's awesome.

01:10:36.000 That's America in a nutshell.

01:10:38.000 That's what I was trying to do with this network.

01:10:41.000 So here is my brilliant suggestion.

01:10:43.000 Come hang out with a couple of everyday losers from North Canton, Ohio at a fire.

01:10:50.000 Let's all drink and shoot the shit for night.

01:10:51.000 Pretty simple, right?

01:10:52.000 Shrilling to pay to get here, but we are the cheapest guests you'll ever have.

01:10:56.000 Hell, you can record it for the show.

01:10:57.000 I don't care.

01:10:58.000 My neighbor might be a little tricky, though, because so you haven't even confirmed this with your neighbor.

01:11:03.000 I'll send you the address, blah, blah, blah.

01:11:06.000 No, dude.

01:11:07.000 You don't get to hang out with me.

01:11:08.000 We're not friends.

01:11:10.000 Do I get to just email people when I see them on a show and go, hey, can you do that, but at my house?

01:11:15.000 I'll give you a beer.

01:11:16.000 It's the same as guys who want to fight me.

01:11:18.000 They think they can just like get people.

01:11:20.000 This might be the problem with social media where everyone is so attainable that you just think, hey, Van Halen, come to my house.

01:11:27.000 I know I'm not Van Halen, but you get my point.

01:11:30.000 That's a dumb letter.

01:11:31.000 All right, let's wrap up the show, but before we go, let's say hi to one punch man punch me.

01:11:40.000 I don't know, scared of one punch man.

01:11:42.000 I punch you in the face 50 times.

01:11:45.000 I'm seven punch man.

01:11:46.000 Sucker.

01:11:47.000 That looks like me, kinda.

01:11:50.000 You guys all look at this.

01:11:52.000 Boom.

01:11:53.000 Oh, whoa.

01:11:54.000 Boom.

01:11:55.000 Hey!

01:11:56.000 Hey!

01:11:57.000 He's missing the pass too.

01:12:00.000 He's punching me in the back of the head.

01:12:03.000 Oh, that was good.

01:12:08.000 What are they saying, Ryan?

01:12:10.000 Are you okay?

01:12:11.000 I'm sorry about that.

01:12:12.000 But you've punched me many times and now I had to retaliate.

01:12:15.000 And see what happens now.

01:12:17.000 But wait, I'll wait for you to wake up because you're clearly sleeping, so you were not going to get the lesson that I'm trying to teach you.

01:12:21.000 Mandarin is efficient.

01:12:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:24.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:12:28.000 We'll be right back.

01:12:40.000 Troll the ancient I can't go.

01:12:42.000 Fall out.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 16, 2019

S02E99 - DECK THE HALLS

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