Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E105

00:00:47.000 For those I love, Irish dude who lost his friend in a car accident, I believe.

00:00:53.000 So he's got kind of a punky background that was sent to us from a viewer.

00:00:57.000 Music suggestion.

00:00:58.000 Pretty good.

00:00:59.000 A lot of the music suggestions are shit.

00:01:01.000 It'll be like tool or something.

00:01:04.000 How do people like tool?

00:01:06.000 You probably like tool.

00:01:07.000 I do not.

00:01:08.000 My wife likes tool.

00:01:09.000 Everyone I know likes fucking tool.

00:01:12.000 I was never exposed to them.

00:01:14.000 What does that mean?

00:01:15.000 Like, I could like them.

00:01:18.000 Anyway, that guy sort of combines Dublin street poetry with techno, and it sounds really cool.

00:01:27.000 You know, that's all I ask for out of music these days is for it to be something I haven't heard before.

00:01:32.000 Something original.

00:01:45.000 And then check out this other jam.

00:01:47.000 One, two.

00:01:49.000 For those I love.

00:01:50.000 For those I love.

00:01:59.000 Kind of got a street vibe, huh?

00:02:13.000 I was stepping in that same field beside me gaff, kicking through the leaves and the grass until two guard a rock up backpongs in hand and meet you crying for your mouth.

00:02:22.000 It's a really cool art form, that weird 3D.

00:02:24.000 This is no tales of Nike's escape.

00:02:26.000 You spend your whole life being brave and you hope that things will change.

00:02:30.000 So don't fucking ask me why I don't want to age.

00:02:33.000 It just marks the time and things staying the same.

00:02:37.000 Today's book is a coffee table book called Punk.

00:02:42.000 And it's by Jonah Kugelberg.

00:02:47.000 And this guy, John Savage, the guy who did England's Dreaming, which is sort of the definitive history of punk.

00:02:52.000 It's a little too definitive.

00:02:54.000 Like we get into Malcolm McLaren's grandparents and stuff.

00:02:56.000 It should be a third of the size.

00:02:58.000 And this is...

00:02:59.000 Jonah Kugelberg and I are not friends.

00:03:02.000 He's not a fan of me.

00:03:03.000 I'm not a fan of him.

00:03:05.000 He's a punk snob.

00:03:07.000 And I'm not good enough.

00:03:08.000 Apparently, I don't know enough about punk for him.

00:03:10.000 Meanwhile, this guy wasn't there.

00:03:13.000 Like, he wasn't in a band.

00:03:15.000 He wasn't at shows.

00:03:16.000 He's an onlooker.

00:03:17.000 He's just a rich kid whose wife that he has since abandoned for a trophy wife.

00:03:23.000 I think she's a makeup heiress or something.

00:03:26.000 He just would shop and buy stuff.

00:03:28.000 So he has the largest collection of punk memorabilia, I would say, on earth.

00:03:34.000 And this is a lot of it.

00:03:36.000 This is Jon Savage doing the writing.

00:03:38.000 G. Vaucher, our old crass artist, is also showing some of her collection.

00:03:45.000 We've got some punk seven inches.

00:03:50.000 And so it's fun if you're into punk and you're sitting around waiting for your girlfriend to get ready to go out.

00:03:56.000 You can just flip through it and it triggers all these memories of these old bands and Mad Magazine punk issue and stuff like that.

00:04:05.000 So you get to see his amazing collection that he spent his wife's money on.

00:04:10.000 But outside of that, just like random eye candy, it's garbage.

00:04:20.000 Uh-oh.

00:04:21.000 It's hard to squeeze it in here.

00:04:25.000 Today's, so that's the book of the day, the song of the day.

00:04:29.000 I mean, I don't want to toot my own horn here, but this show is very fulfilling, is it not?

00:04:35.000 Ten seconds in, and you have a new book you never heard of, and a new band you never heard of.

00:04:42.000 They don't really do that on other shows.

00:04:44.000 Like Jimmy Kimmel might have, you know, some band that you've heard of do a song at the end.

00:04:49.000 I don't know.

00:04:50.000 Anyway, front page of the post, Billie Eilish.

00:04:55.000 My wife was disappointed in this because we don't want our daughter to be a slut.

00:04:58.000 And Billie Eilish was always wearing baggy clothes.

00:05:01.000 But I have a defense for this woman.

00:05:03.000 She's 19.

00:05:04.000 She kind of got doxxed by the paps.

00:05:07.000 And we didn't know she had gigantic tits, big fucking tits.

00:05:13.000 Until she was caught, you know, going to get a coffee, an iced coffee, as they do in LA.

00:05:18.000 This seems to be the only thing people do is they get in the car and they drive to a coffee.

00:05:25.000 And she looked like shit in those photos.

00:05:27.000 So I understand a 19-year-old woman, one of the most successful artists alive today, she doesn't want to be known as the fat getting the coffee chick.

00:05:36.000 So she goes to the very best and Vogue hooks her up and makes good use of her gigantic tits.

00:05:44.000 So I support this.

00:05:45.000 I'm fine with this.

00:05:47.000 Whatever.

00:05:48.000 They did a bar rescue with her body?

00:05:51.000 Yeah.

00:05:51.000 You know, those tits are very big, right?

00:05:54.000 Shut it down.

00:05:55.000 But the thighs are too big.

00:05:57.000 We're going to trim it down.

00:06:00.000 Also in the post, the chick from...

00:06:04.000 This is actually in my notes.

00:06:08.000 Oh, I didn't number.

00:06:09.000 Oh, yeah, this is 17.

00:06:11.000 The chick from Game of Thrones, the ugly little girl, she's 23 now, 24.

00:06:17.000 And she's playing that broad from the Sex Pistols days.

00:06:21.000 I forget her name.

00:06:22.000 It was like Polly or something.

00:06:23.000 And all she did was, her only contribution to the punk movement was to have eye makeup like that And her hair up high.

00:06:31.000 Okay.

00:06:33.000 Thanks for coming out.

00:06:34.000 I think she was part of the Bromley contingent.

00:06:36.000 Bromley was like the Westchester of London, a middle-class, affluent suburb.

00:06:41.000 But a lot of punks came from there: Billy Idol, Susie Sue.

00:06:46.000 Most of the people you see behind the sex pistols on that famous Bill Grundy interview were from Bromley.

00:06:52.000 And guess who else is from Bromley now?

00:06:54.000 The shoe bomber, Richard Reed.

00:06:56.000 This is how Teenage Rebellion has progressed in Britain over the years.

00:07:00.000 Used to be you'd wear a kooky outfit.

00:07:01.000 Now you try to take a plane down.

00:07:03.000 Yeah, that's the chick.

00:07:04.000 You just showed her.

00:07:06.000 That's the woman I was talking about, who she's dressed up as.

00:07:08.000 By the way, you'll notice that my suit is reacting.

00:07:11.000 You know what I'm dressed as?

00:07:13.000 No.

00:07:14.000 A black guy on sports TV.

00:07:16.000 Wow.

00:07:17.000 Pretty good.

00:07:17.000 They always have these suits that feed back because no one told them what a moire is.

00:07:23.000 And so I thought I would do that.

00:07:24.000 They also wear sneakers with their suits, I've noticed on sports TV.

00:07:28.000 And their blazers are never darker than their slacks, which is retarded.

00:07:31.000 It should always be the other way around.

00:07:32.000 Some of the worst dressed people are sports hosts.

00:07:35.000 By the way, speaking of sports, what a night last night.

00:07:39.000 Holy Toledo.

00:07:40.000 It was like, what was it, like six, two or something for the Mets?

00:07:49.000 And then the bases were loaded with the Phillies.

00:07:52.000 They hit the ball in the air.

00:07:53.000 It's out of the park.

00:07:55.000 So with bases loaded, we're now losing.

00:07:58.000 But dong, it bounces off the rail.

00:08:01.000 So they all run home.

00:08:04.000 Wee, wee, wee.

00:08:05.000 They all ran home.

00:08:06.000 All the little piggies.

00:08:08.000 And then the umps put on their things and they go, no, it hit the rail.

00:08:10.000 So it's not a home run.

00:08:11.000 You got to go back to where you were.

00:08:13.000 Yes.

00:08:15.000 Damn!

00:08:17.000 My son's not speaking to me because I made him go to bed and miss all that.

00:08:20.000 Oh.

00:08:20.000 But shit, dude, that happened at 11.

00:08:23.000 You're a little kid.

00:08:25.000 Speaking of little kids, a lot of segues here.

00:08:28.000 So my son is 12, going on 13.

00:08:32.000 Puberty's beginning, and a lot of his teammates are 13.

00:08:35.000 So their baseball is indistinguishable from the MLB.

00:08:39.000 I mean, the balls come in.

00:08:40.000 I don't think I could hit the balls they pitch at.

00:08:42.000 They're coming in at 60, 70 miles an hour.

00:08:46.000 So terrible MLB, but still, if they hit it, if you hit it to the fence, you'd be lucky to get a double out of that.

00:08:52.000 Someone would have to screw up.

00:08:53.000 And that's assuming no one catches it.

00:08:55.000 So it's high quality baseball.

00:08:58.000 Then I have my eight-year-old boy.

00:09:01.000 Wow.

00:09:02.000 He's pretty good, but the rest of his team sucks so bad that it takes all of my willpower not to go, you suck!

00:09:12.000 Get off the field.

00:09:14.000 Oh my, I spent half the game going like this.

00:09:19.000 Like pitchers, eight-year-olds throw grounders as a pitch regularly.

00:09:25.000 They walk, the bases are always loaded from walking.

00:09:28.000 They'll throw the ball four feet above the batter's head.

00:09:32.000 Like it'll almost go over the fucking thing.

00:09:36.000 Or this is typical, okay?

00:09:37.000 This is watching eight-year-olds play baseball.

00:09:40.000 Pitcher throws a terrible, terrible pitch, like a grounder.

00:09:45.000 The batter swings, and it's the worst swing you've ever seen.

00:09:47.000 He sort of pushes it.

00:09:49.000 And then the catcher finally finds the ball, which takes him a while.

00:09:53.000 Then he throws it to the pitcher, who doesn't know how to catch.

00:09:55.000 And every time a kid misses a ball, I can't help but sort of look over at the dad.

00:10:01.000 Would it kill you to play catch with your son once in a while?

00:10:05.000 Similarly, my son, my elder boy, hit it out of the park this weekend.

00:10:09.000 And everyone turns around and looks at you the same.

00:10:11.000 The reverse way, the converse, where they go, well, you must be proud.

00:10:15.000 And I pointed to my dick.

00:10:17.000 I said, I made that.

00:10:20.000 That's me.

00:10:21.000 Which my wife wasn't happy about.

00:10:24.000 There's a pub near the field, and I've been going to get to-go cups, and I may be getting a little saucy and sauced at these games.

00:10:31.000 Because there's this one kid, they did a sweeping tag.

00:10:34.000 You know what a sweeping tag is, right?

00:10:35.000 You grab it.

00:10:36.000 They hit him like this hard on the chin.

00:10:39.000 And I've noticed there's these thing little kids do when they're going to cry where they have this like, oh, not again, fuck.

00:10:46.000 Like, say I put bamboo shoots between your toenail and your skin three times a day, right?

00:10:52.000 And I was coming for the third time.

00:10:54.000 It's at 6 p.m.

00:10:55.000 And I go, time for the bamboo shoots, the incredibly painful thing.

00:10:58.000 You could imagine the person going, oh, fuck, not again with those.

00:11:04.000 So he does the sweeping tag, hits his chin like, dude, you can hit my newborn that hard in the face.

00:11:10.000 Fine.

00:11:10.000 I'm not remotely mad.

00:11:12.000 You can, I'll peel my foreskin back, and you can take a hammer and hit the head of my dick that hard.

00:11:18.000 I probably won't even notice.

00:11:20.000 You can flick me in the, you know what?

00:11:22.000 I'll lie on my back with my legs in the air.

00:11:24.000 You hit me in the balls with a sweeping tag like that, right in the jigglies.

00:11:28.000 Yeah.

00:11:29.000 And I won't even feel nauseous.

00:11:33.000 So this guy gets the sweeping tag in the chin.

00:11:35.000 He goes, oh.

00:11:37.000 And then he has his face down like this.

00:11:40.000 Like.

00:11:45.000 And then I see this.

00:11:51.000 His shoulders are jouncing.

00:11:54.000 He's jounced his shoulders.

00:11:55.000 You're coming across as a bitch.

00:11:58.000 No.

00:11:59.000 So I said to the two moms I was with, or my wife and her mom friends, I lean over and I go, you know, that can be particularly painful when the person getting it is a complete pussy.

00:12:10.000 And my wife's like, Kevin, stop.

00:12:13.000 Jesus.

00:12:14.000 I guess I said it louder than I thought I said it.

00:12:17.000 But then he's up and at him and ready to steal bases two seconds later.

00:12:21.000 So if I was hurt so bad I was crying, then if you check in an hour later, I'm still going to be going, oh.

00:12:31.000 I'm not like, oh yeah.

00:12:32.000 Oh, the crying thing?

00:12:33.000 Oh, that was 10 seconds ago.

00:12:34.000 I'm fine now.

00:12:35.000 I had a good show.

00:12:38.000 Yeah.

00:12:41.000 And I think I know why.

00:12:45.000 He needs to go back to the Muppet show where he belongs.

00:12:49.000 Also in important news, I have become a woman and I've been watching oxygen.

00:12:56.000 I don't know, man.

00:12:57.000 It's like, if you really want to get out of your head, you can get drunk.

00:13:01.000 You go to the pub.

00:13:02.000 You can get into arguments.

00:13:04.000 Oh, my God.

00:13:04.000 Wait a minute.

00:13:05.000 The pub.

00:13:06.000 My local.

00:13:08.000 So, you know, Joe?

00:13:09.000 Hey, the guy who fell asleep.

00:13:10.000 Oh, whoa, we're doing this now?

00:13:12.000 What?

00:13:12.000 See, he has a shitting problem.

00:13:13.000 We figured out Crohn's disease.

00:13:15.000 He's been leaving shit everywhere.

00:13:16.000 I think he puts toilet paper up his ass, and then he either leaves it on the floor or puts it sometimes.

00:13:21.000 It's behind the seat in a big Nutella wedge.

00:13:23.000 And the urinal was blocked last week.

00:13:26.000 Despite having a chlorine puck with a grade over it, I think he took his shit in there.

00:13:30.000 I think he has a shit psychosis.

00:13:33.000 Anyway, this is how dumb he is.

00:13:34.000 He goes up to this guy, Ranger Tommy, we know, who is a Ranger, and he's in cybersecurity now.

00:13:39.000 He's like, yo, Tommy, can I talk to you for a sec?

00:13:42.000 And Tommy has this kind of like evil voice.

00:13:46.000 He goes, yeah, what's up?

00:13:48.000 And he goes, come here, come here, which is a weird thing to do.

00:13:51.000 Of course, everyone has started going, what the fuck?

00:13:53.000 And he goes, does this look legit to you?

00:13:56.000 And I hear him go, no, man, look, there's a lot of red flags when people talk about, and I forget what the red flags were, but we don't need to know red flags with cyber scams, right?

00:14:08.000 We've all just, they don't even register.

00:14:10.000 Like, hi, there's a problem with your Amazon account.

00:14:13.000 It's been compromised.

00:14:14.000 Please contact me.

00:14:15.000 You're just like, fuck off.

00:14:16.000 Anyone with a semblance of a brain just ignores those.

00:14:19.000 I'm sure Ryan doesn't, but everyone else does.

00:14:24.000 So Tommy tells him it's a scam.

00:14:29.000 And I don't know what it is or how to get good at it, if you will.

00:14:32.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:14:34.000 So the next day, I see this other guy, James, British guy, going, oy, check this out.

00:14:41.000 So Joe's expecting a large shipment tomorrow.

00:14:44.000 And I'm like, wait, was this what he was asking about yesterday?

00:14:47.000 Yeah, so what's happening is someone is in Afghanistan and they have $1.6 million and they need to ship it to someone in America.

00:14:58.000 Now, the good news for Joe is he gets a commission of $160,000.

00:15:04.000 So he showed me the receipt for the shipping company.

00:15:09.000 It's coming in today, I guess.

00:15:10.000 It might be there now.

00:15:13.000 And we're like, Joe, first of all, you're not getting any money.

00:15:17.000 But if you were, that's a felony.

00:15:21.000 Taking in illegal goods, like accepting stolen property.

00:15:25.000 If someone asks you to store 60 grams of Coke, you're in trouble.

00:15:30.000 But the good news is that's not happening.

00:15:33.000 What's going to happen is they're going to say, it arrived, and you're going to say, no, it didn't, because it didn't.

00:15:38.000 They're going to say, you're lying.

00:15:39.000 And they're going to say, well, you need to pay us.

00:15:41.000 And then they're going to extort you and get your banking info.

00:15:44.000 And you're going to end up emptying your bank account.

00:15:46.000 They're going to say, well, we could do, say you had 80 grand in the bank.

00:15:49.000 We could do 80 grand because we have an insurance policy and that will pay for the deductible.

00:15:54.000 You fucking idiot.

00:15:57.000 So if he's not shitting the bed, shitting the toilet, he's shitting up his life by listening to Nigerian scammers who pretend to be from Kabul.

00:16:07.000 Like, imagine, I literally can't imagine thinking you were going to get money from a scam like that.

00:16:14.000 I cannot fit it in my head.

00:16:15.000 In fact, I've been making a list of things I just don't get, and I'm putting that on the list.

00:16:22.000 Don't worry.

00:16:22.000 I am disabled.

00:16:24.000 I'll do a green screen of it.

00:16:26.000 Holding hands is another one.

00:16:28.000 I saw this couple holding hands.

00:16:29.000 They were like 60 walking down the street holding hands.

00:16:32.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:16:34.000 If you're feeling the need to be with each other, you could stop and maybe hug, get your yayas out, but holding hands.

00:16:40.000 But anyway, falling for Nigerian scams.

00:16:44.000 I mean, what it really is, it's obviously low IQ, but I think more importantly, it's greed.

00:16:51.000 Like I saw a guy in 60 Minutes who fell for this one where you're washing money.

00:16:56.000 We have millions of dollars, but it's been covered in this black paint.

00:16:59.000 And the solvent to wash the paint off is very, very expensive because it doesn't damage the money.

00:17:06.000 And we need you to help us buy that solvent.

00:17:08.000 And it was a doctor who had spent like $150,000 on that fucking scam.

00:17:14.000 They are retarded in some ways.

00:17:17.000 They're geniuses.

00:17:19.000 That's true.

00:17:21.000 Anyway, yeah.

00:17:22.000 It's fun being a chick.

00:17:24.000 Why didn't you ladies tell me what you were watching on TV?

00:17:26.000 It's such a perfect escape.

00:17:28.000 Like you don't, you know, I watch Tucker and it's my job.

00:17:32.000 So I'm like, oh, I got to talk about that.

00:17:34.000 That's a good one.

00:17:34.000 Oh, I got to look that up.

00:17:35.000 So I'm still at work.

00:17:37.000 The news, even on Twitter, social media.

00:17:40.000 I'm still looking shit up.

00:17:41.000 But when it's like a 15-year-old murder, actually, I did end up bringing it up on the show.

00:17:48.000 Here we are.

00:17:51.000 But yeah, you ever see the Netflix show, The Staircase?

00:17:55.000 You saw it before Netflix redid it.

00:17:57.000 It's so good because at the beginning you go, this guy was framed.

00:18:01.000 The fuck?

00:18:02.000 And then as you keep watching, you go, this guy's a fucking murderer.

00:18:07.000 And this one was very similar where his wife tried to kill him and in self-defense, he stabbed her.

00:18:15.000 And then you're watching it and going, wait a minute.

00:18:18.000 Your previous wife died too?

00:18:20.000 In a truck accident?

00:18:23.000 Where she was thrown from the vehicle and beat to shit and knocked unconscious and then it burst into flames and you were perfectly fine.

00:18:31.000 And you're wearing like 10 layers of clothing and a fucking puffy hat.

00:18:35.000 You clearly put on your seatbelt and drove off the edge of the mountain or hill, I should say.

00:18:40.000 And then lit her on fire to make sure she's dead.

00:18:42.000 By the way, whenever I see these things, I know I'm not the first person to say this, but can you just divorce her?

00:18:49.000 What's with the killing the wife all the time?

00:18:51.000 Like Scott Peterson?

00:18:53.000 Ooh, they say there's new evidence exonerating Scott Peterson.

00:18:57.000 Good luck.

00:18:59.000 My wife and I were obsessed with that case.

00:19:03.000 They have footage of him.

00:19:04.000 They hid cameras in his house and pretended he wasn't a suspect.

00:19:09.000 And he'd be watching the news, eating ice cream, and they'd be like, well, looking in this bay that's miles from where Scott buried the body.

00:19:16.000 They didn't quite say that.

00:19:17.000 And he would laugh.

00:19:18.000 He'd be like, like, not even close.

00:19:23.000 And we have evidence of him buying cement for the same paint.

00:19:29.000 He put cement in paint cans to make weights, and then he put them in the Tupperware that he sank her body in.

00:19:35.000 Is that a coincidence?

00:19:37.000 That's who you killed your wife for?

00:19:40.000 Dude, I could get her with a bag of Coke and three glasses of wine.

00:19:44.000 What a waste.

00:19:45.000 What a boob.

00:19:46.000 Look at his.

00:19:47.000 You know how there's gay face?

00:19:49.000 There's also stupid idiot face.

00:19:52.000 Look how dumb he is.

00:19:53.000 Stupid idiot face.

00:19:57.000 I've been thinking of a fart.

00:20:01.000 I'm brilliant.

00:20:02.000 We're going to show you some CIA footage.

00:20:05.000 His job was to sell shit.

00:20:08.000 It's a fertilizer salesman.

00:20:10.000 Oh, yes.

00:20:11.000 Lacey Peterson is so beautiful and wonderful.

00:20:16.000 And you could just...

00:20:17.000 Look at her.

00:20:17.000 What a joy.

00:20:19.000 Always smiling.

00:20:20.000 What a perfect little chubby Modesto Californian.

00:20:26.000 What a joy she was.

00:20:31.000 Got any other pictures of her?

00:20:34.000 Not since she was killed.

00:20:35.000 We don't want to see those.

00:20:36.000 Okay, gotcha.

00:20:37.000 But just her smile would just light up a room, wouldn't it?

00:20:41.000 What a wonderful little sweet angel.

00:20:43.000 That's her pregnant.

00:20:44.000 Look at those dimples.

00:20:46.000 What a beautiful woman.

00:20:49.000 Yeah, she is.

00:20:50.000 Not too pretty.

00:20:52.000 Not overwhelming.

00:20:53.000 Oh, yeah, this is a really sweet one.

00:20:55.000 Yeah, you can tell she's just like a sweet angel.

00:20:57.000 Smiley little chipmunk.

00:20:58.000 That's my type of chick.

00:20:59.000 Smiley chipmunks.

00:21:00.000 Smiley chipmunks.

00:21:02.000 Look at that one right above me.

00:21:03.000 Which one?

00:21:04.000 No, no.

00:21:04.000 Right higher up?

00:21:05.000 No, no, no.

00:21:06.000 That one there, yeah.

00:21:08.000 Look at that.

00:21:10.000 What a smile.

00:21:11.000 Yeah, that's like a smile that feels like home.

00:21:14.000 Just lights up the day.

00:21:15.000 She makes some comfort food, some mac and cheese.

00:21:18.000 Probably too much parmesan on top.

00:21:20.000 Oh, my.

00:21:21.000 You put the game on.

00:21:22.000 She puts breadcrumbs on it so it's crunchy.

00:21:24.000 Yeah, that's what I do.

00:21:24.000 I do have breadcrumbs.

00:21:25.000 Damn.

00:21:26.000 This is good.

00:21:27.000 And then this freaking creepo kills her.

00:21:31.000 Have fun in hell, Scott.

00:21:34.000 So as I'm watching this, I discovered a new simp girl we can simp on.

00:21:39.000 So she's the prosecution who caught that guy and pointed out that no, it wasn't self-defense.

00:21:44.000 She murdered.

00:21:45.000 He murdered his wife.

00:21:47.000 Her name is Lisette Souter.

00:21:50.000 S-U-D-E-R-1-5.

00:21:52.000 She dresses like a whore with five-inch heels.

00:21:57.000 She has huge tits and a gigantic fucking tits.

00:22:01.000 That's not her.

00:22:01.000 And a big fat ass.

00:22:04.000 And her face is perfect age.

00:22:08.000 She's like 38, 40 with some laugh lines and some crow's feet.

00:22:13.000 There she is.

00:22:14.000 And she's a fucking genius prosecutor who catches sex offenders mostly.

00:22:20.000 Perverts.

00:22:21.000 Pedophiles.

00:22:24.000 No, that's not her.

00:22:26.000 I mean, can you beat that?

00:22:28.000 Oh, look at that one you just passed.

00:22:30.000 There, they're right above me.

00:22:31.000 Right there.

00:22:32.000 Oh, that's very small.

00:22:34.000 That's very small.

00:22:37.000 What a fucking smoker, huh?

00:22:40.000 Pull her up on video.

00:22:42.000 It's best to see women in video.

00:22:45.000 Now, I don't count this as simping.

00:22:48.000 Simping would be me crying in my beer because I want to fuck her so bad.

00:22:51.000 I don't want to fuck her.

00:22:52.000 I'm married.

00:22:52.000 I want you to fuck someone like that.

00:22:54.000 And I want to develop your, I don't know, libido.

00:22:58.000 I find these young men, they're not horny.

00:23:02.000 That's why I talk about all these chicks and big fucking dits and stuff, because I want guys to get their libido back.

00:23:09.000 These young men don't seem to care.

00:23:12.000 We are gearing up towards anticipating trial beginning on May 3rd, so we're just starting to go through all the legal proceedings that we have to do to get it ready to go.

00:23:21.000 Culver and Witt are accused of murdering Witt's mother, Joanne, by stabbing her to death at their home in Elder Outside.

00:23:27.000 They did.

00:23:28.000 Your Honor, evidence A, their hairdo.

00:23:32.000 Yeah, wow.

00:23:34.000 Exhibit A. Yeah, yeah, move it, David.

00:23:43.000 By Nick.

00:23:44.000 Yeah, by Nick.

00:23:46.000 Bye, by Nick.

00:23:47.000 Vector Speaker.

00:23:47.000 Bye, bye, Nick.

00:23:54.000 That's up there.

00:23:55.000 She's a big woman, too.

00:23:56.000 I don't mean big, like 6'5, but like, this is not petite.

00:24:00.000 Like, you better have had your Weitabix that morning if you're going to fuck her.

00:24:05.000 Or you better do a good job.

00:24:06.000 Best to get a hotel room and sort of write off the next 36 hours.

00:24:11.000 She's got that button nose.

00:24:14.000 It does take a long time.

00:24:15.000 She's a swoopy little fairy nose.

00:24:16.000 Bouncy hair there.

00:24:19.000 It's very difficult.

00:24:20.000 You should see the rest of her body.

00:24:22.000 You know what?

00:24:22.000 Shocking.

00:24:23.000 Maybe it is, too, about when you phone over older women and you're like, that's hotter than a younger woman, is because all of their laugh lines or whatever would happen is already kind of happening.

00:24:34.000 So you don't have to guess, be like, I don't know how you're going to look like shit when you get older.

00:24:38.000 But she is older.

00:24:39.000 So you're like, all right, I see the wrinkles.

00:24:41.000 You're 30 years old.

00:24:42.000 But it's like, I see the wrinkles and I see it.

00:24:43.000 I know, but it's okay.

00:24:45.000 When you're my age, you're not worried about how are you going to look.

00:24:49.000 You want someone that you can talk to after you come.

00:24:52.000 Wait, she does look cool.

00:24:54.000 Like, she's fun to go on a trip with.

00:24:58.000 I'd be a good woman to have an affair with.

00:25:01.000 You tell your wife that you have to go do a week audit in the tombs of the IRS.

00:25:08.000 And you go to Puerto Vallarta.

00:25:10.000 You come back and she goes, why do you have boderic hair?

00:25:13.000 Why do you have cornrows in a tan?

00:25:16.000 Because I had to go undercover as Nuka Zeus.

00:25:24.000 It is very prevalent.

00:25:25.000 And there are a lot of people that are stuck in routines and being trafficked.

00:25:31.000 Don't have ways to get out.

00:25:33.000 Just days ago, the district attorney and sheriff's office rescuing a 17-year-old human trafficking victim, arresting and signing others.

00:25:43.000 The third human trafficking sting this year.

00:25:47.000 Has no one put a ring on this bitch?

00:25:49.000 I bet you wouldn't mind being bumper to bumper in her human trafficking.

00:25:54.000 There's nothing on her, though, like with social media.

00:25:57.000 Oh, really?

00:25:58.000 Is that her again?

00:26:09.000 Don't have weeks to get out.

00:26:12.000 That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

00:26:20.000 Somebody with a human.

00:26:22.000 Suspect is walking down the street with a human.

00:26:29.000 This story has no segue.

00:26:31.000 It couldn't be more out of the blue.

00:26:33.000 But you got to get it.

00:26:34.000 We're going to kill the news thing on the site.

00:26:37.000 I thought it would lead to more money.

00:26:38.000 It didn't, and it's very expensive, so it's gone.

00:26:41.000 But I'm going to make that a blog.

00:26:43.000 I think that was Ryan's idea.

00:26:46.000 Or was that Josh Lacash's idea?

00:26:49.000 No, put the blog.

00:26:50.000 It was kind of a compound of like what you wanted, a compilation?

00:26:56.000 It was a something.

00:26:57.000 But I just thought it would be good for news flashes and announcements.

00:27:02.000 It's a compound.

00:27:03.000 It would be good for news flashes.

00:27:05.000 I'm taught this fucking nip English.

00:27:07.000 It feels like I have a gun to my head when I talk.

00:27:10.000 Yeah.

00:27:10.000 Because I know it's going to be stupid.

00:27:12.000 It was a compound of news flashes.

00:27:16.000 Yeah.

00:27:18.000 So we'll put the show notes there, too, from now on.

00:27:21.000 Oh, cool.

00:27:22.000 But this story, you can check out and read on your own time.

00:27:25.000 1-8, it's one of the most craziest stories I've ever read.

00:27:31.000 So there's some Syrian dude who's working on a ship that's owned by some rich Arab sheikh and they're in Egypt.

00:27:39.000 And they pull in to drop off some shit.

00:27:41.000 He's just bored working there, like Ryan, kind of a job, just like doing his shit.

00:27:46.000 And they go, Mister, Mister, you owe $22,000 for anchor you bought here.

00:27:53.000 You no pay your bill.

00:27:54.000 We confiscate tanker.

00:27:56.000 He goes, okay, that sucks.

00:27:58.000 Can I get out of here?

00:27:59.000 No, you sign, sign here, sign here.

00:28:02.000 Okay, fine.

00:28:03.000 So he signs.

00:28:04.000 You declared ownership of boat.

00:28:06.000 Your responsibility.

00:28:08.000 You raise money.

00:28:09.000 Or you pay for anchor.

00:28:11.000 Four years, he's stuck on this boat, eating rations.

00:28:16.000 The boat is covered in rats and insects because whatever the produce is on it has been compromised.

00:28:24.000 So sometimes he was allowed to leave and sneak onto the shore and get something to eat, but he would often be arrested.

00:28:32.000 And then the authorities would bring him back to that fucking boat for four years.

00:28:39.000 There he is, trying to escape.

00:28:41.000 And he kept trying to escape.

00:28:42.000 And then they get him, but he wasn't doing anything illegal.

00:28:46.000 So they wouldn't, he was trying to get arrested.

00:28:48.000 He would have loved to go to prison.

00:28:50.000 That would be great.

00:28:51.000 No rats or less rats.

00:28:56.000 Can you believe this story?

00:28:58.000 The fucking ineptitude.

00:28:59.000 Like, you think we have a bureaucracy problem, but bureau is a French word for office.

00:29:06.000 As soon as you get outside of North America, the bureaucracy going on, like in Europe is grim.

00:29:12.000 But in Africa, in Egypt, can you imagine?

00:29:16.000 Look at this guy.

00:29:18.000 He's alone on that fucking giant.

00:29:21.000 That's a movie, don't you think?

00:29:22.000 That would be a good movie.

00:29:25.000 Oh, and he could see it too.

00:29:27.000 Oh, geez.

00:29:28.000 That's torture.

00:29:29.000 You're so close, but so far away.

00:29:32.000 Please help.

00:29:35.000 Wait, how did he do that video?

00:29:37.000 He swam there to charge the phone and then came back.

00:29:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:40.000 So he charges his phone and gets food every three days by swimming.

00:29:44.000 That guy is not exactly the guy that face for television.

00:29:48.000 I'm not saying I'm a male model, but I'm at least the base videogenic to not make you sick.

00:29:54.000 Look at his hair.

00:29:55.000 Looks like a fucking pineapple's thumb.

00:30:02.000 Dry-ass lips.

00:30:03.000 Look at this.

00:30:03.000 Kim Jong-un here.

00:30:04.000 Life like if you're stuck in soliditary prison, you can see some rodents sometimes.

00:30:14.000 Slides and mosquitoes.

00:30:17.000 The night is like a grave.

00:30:18.000 You can't see anything, you can't hear anything.

00:30:26.000 The Bahraini flag MV Amman was detained by the Egyptian port state authorities due to expired safety equipment and certificates.

00:30:35.000 In all that time, it appears no action has been done by the ship's owner.

00:30:38.000 No, he owed money on an anchor deficiencies, which led to the prolonged detention.

00:30:44.000 Two years ago, and she's never going to see me again because of this damn discursed ship.

00:30:53.000 All I want is to go back home to my family.

00:30:57.000 The ship's owner.

00:30:58.000 Oh, I know how I can make this more relevant to the show.

00:31:01.000 This is what Max and John got.

00:31:03.000 Four years.

00:31:05.000 Similarly, Antifa BLM, I sent you a picture.

00:31:10.000 So that's four years, which is typical of a shithole bureaucracy.

00:31:14.000 But look at this guy.

00:31:16.000 Burn down a police station.

00:31:18.000 Minnesota man gets four years for torching police station after George Floyd's death.

00:31:21.000 Four years.

00:31:22.000 Same as Max and John.

00:31:23.000 So in other words, in American justice, daring to fight the DNC's paramilitary wing, Antifa, is equally as bad as burning a police station down.

00:31:37.000 What are you doing?

00:31:39.000 I just got a little alert, and I just wanted to know what it was.

00:31:42.000 Why are you getting alerts?

00:31:44.000 What do you mean?

00:31:45.000 Well, turn your alerts off.

00:31:47.000 You're at work.

00:31:47.000 We're doing a show.

00:31:48.000 Can you imagine Andy, what's his name on Conan O'Brien started checking his Apple Watch?

00:31:54.000 He's on camera.

00:31:55.000 I'm listening to you.

00:31:56.000 What's your alert?

00:31:57.000 I just went like this.

00:32:00.000 What's your alert?

00:32:01.000 You get a little buzz when you get a text.

00:32:02.000 I got a text from my girlfriend.

00:32:03.000 I just looked at it.

00:32:05.000 I'm not going to answer it.

00:32:07.000 Okay, turn off all alerts.

00:32:12.000 Yeah, the magical four years.

00:32:14.000 All right, let's just end this intro section with a little bit more sports talk.

00:32:18.000 The Ruiz fight yesterday.

00:32:21.000 Or sorry, Saturday.

00:32:24.000 I actually got so drunk that I passed out the second I got home and I missed The whole fight.

00:32:30.000 So I've only seen highlights and tweets and stuff.

00:32:33.000 You know how I got so wasted?

00:32:34.000 And please, folks at home, answer me this.

00:32:36.000 So we're at the bar, and you know, there's all the bottles that you see here, but then there's the bottom section behind the bar, right?

00:32:44.000 And that's usually just cheap vodka, all the same.

00:32:46.000 But then behind those, there's always weird shit like from the 90s.

00:32:51.000 So I go, give me some of that.

00:32:53.000 And they go, what are you talking about?

00:32:55.000 I go, not the vodka there, but behind that, it's basically underneath the back of the bar.

00:33:00.000 And they go, they hadn't even seen it before.

00:33:02.000 And they're like, all right, what's this?

00:33:04.000 Apricot brandy.

00:33:05.000 I'd like a shot of that, please.

00:33:07.000 So that was like fucking gasoline.

00:33:11.000 And then I had some whiskey called Wild Cherry.

00:33:14.000 This shit was so old that the dust didn't dust off.

00:33:19.000 Like the dust was stuck on.

00:33:21.000 It had been glued on.

00:33:22.000 You'd have to really scrub to get the dust off.

00:33:24.000 The dust had been solidified.

00:33:26.000 So I had about three different shots of lost and forgotten drinks.

00:33:30.000 And I got fucking obliterated.

00:33:33.000 And this guy Bill, I call him $3 Bill because he's queer.

00:33:39.000 He says that it keeps fermenting.

00:33:41.000 So because I was drinking stuff that was from like the 90s, it was like 300 proof.

00:33:48.000 I don't know if I believe that.

00:33:50.000 Is that true, folks at home?

00:33:51.000 Does an ancient bottle of booze keep getting more alcoholic over time?

00:33:56.000 I mean, it pickles itself, doesn't it?

00:33:59.000 There's no...

00:34:00.000 For a fermenting process to happen, you need sort of organic gases and stuff coming in.

00:34:06.000 The air that's in that bottle is...

00:34:09.000 No, not quite that.

00:34:12.000 Anyway, so my take on the Ruiz fight is going to be a little ancillary, if that's a word.

00:34:19.000 What the fuck is this guy wearing?

00:34:25.000 What is he doing?

00:34:29.000 Are you cold?

00:34:32.000 What?

00:34:33.000 Help me out here.

00:34:34.000 He lost a bet.

00:34:36.000 That's actually more reasonable than he's cold.

00:34:40.000 And who's cold in a suit?

00:34:42.000 He's got a tweed top on, a blazer?

00:34:45.000 Like in the winter here in New York City where it never gets that cold.

00:34:49.000 I just wear, if I wear my wool suits, I don't wear a jacket.

00:34:53.000 I'm toasty.

00:34:54.000 I've never been cold wearing a suit in New York City in January, February.

00:35:00.000 Never.

00:35:01.000 You got this all bundled up?

00:35:03.000 I mean, your ears could hurt a little bit, maybe if it's really windy, but who, where do you get the blanket?

00:35:10.000 There's blankets at these matches?

00:35:12.000 Where?

00:35:13.000 In the broom closet?

00:35:15.000 Did he just...

00:35:16.000 Is that a shock blanket?

00:35:17.000 Did he go through some sort of trauma?

00:35:21.000 Or is it a thing that he's trying to bring in, like male shawls?

00:35:24.000 In fact, that was a sketch that I wrote years ago about a line of men's shawls.

00:35:30.000 Like, sick of stupid, wimpy, bitchy shawls for broads.

00:35:34.000 It's time that shawls...

00:35:36.000 You're not going to find it.

00:35:37.000 I didn't do it.

00:35:38.000 But it was like cool dude shawls.

00:35:41.000 And there was a denim one and a leather one with it said Harley Davidson on the bottom and had studs.

00:35:48.000 Badass shawls for badass balls.

00:35:53.000 Look at these primitive cultures and their fucking blankets.

00:35:57.000 Scots were doing that probably 800 years ago.

00:36:04.000 But if you scroll down to that blanket one, you can see the Mexicans fighting in the stands.

00:36:10.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 I assumed every Hispanic in the Northeast was Puerto Rican or Dominican.

00:36:18.000 There's tons of Mexicans at my gym.

00:36:20.000 Maybe because the rich people spend a lot of money on lawn care.

00:36:23.000 But like the neighboring town is all Mexicans.

00:36:26.000 And at my gym, when it's sparring night, it's mostly Mexicans.

00:36:31.000 And they are totally different.

00:36:34.000 They don't pivot when they do like a left hook.

00:36:37.000 They keep their feet planted.

00:36:39.000 And they don't have defense.

00:36:41.000 They just take the punches to the head.

00:36:47.000 Yeah, they can scrap.

00:36:52.000 Should I show you two guys at my gym?

00:36:53.000 I know how they could afford it.

00:36:55.000 They're really good at saving money, in my experience.

00:36:57.000 Really?

00:36:58.000 They just send it back home.

00:36:59.000 Yeah, because I think, you know, all the things that we buy on impulse, they're not tempted by because it's like foreign shit.

00:37:05.000 Yeah.

00:37:06.000 Like, they want a mango with some spicy shit on it.

00:37:09.000 And that's like 38 cents.

00:37:11.000 Yeah, right.

00:37:12.000 Like, when we see something...

00:37:13.000 Oh, it's a Bionic Man replica from Happy Days.

00:37:18.000 And it has a Brady Bunch logo on the side.

00:37:20.000 Like, I don't know what the fuck.

00:37:21.000 I could use an Oreo, a pack of Oreos.

00:37:23.000 I don't know what stupid stuff.

00:37:25.000 Should I show you these little talking Mexican men?

00:37:28.000 How do I send you a...

00:37:30.000 Let's try Airdrop.

00:37:31.000 Let's try Airdrop.

00:37:32.000 Okay, this never works.

00:37:34.000 Correct.

00:37:35.000 Airdrop.

00:37:36.000 Bluetooth off.

00:37:37.000 Turn on Bluetooth.

00:37:39.000 There was no one nearby to share with.

00:37:41.000 Then there's Gavin's Mac.

00:37:42.000 Yeah.

00:37:43.000 So it says waiting.

00:37:45.000 It says converting.

00:37:47.000 Waiting is the hardest part.

00:37:48.000 The waiting is the hardest part.

00:37:54.000 Exactly.

00:37:55.000 Part.

00:37:56.000 Yeah.

00:37:58.000 Waiting.

00:37:59.000 We were in the bar the other day and they were playing Come Sail Away with Me, Sail Away by Styx.

00:38:04.000 And the guy's, this really cool dude showed up from Poughkeepsie.

00:38:08.000 And he's like, he sees Ranger Tommy.

00:38:11.000 He recognized me.

00:38:12.000 And then there was this funny dude, Donnie, who was drunk.

00:38:15.000 And he goes, we got a hero, a patriot, and a retard.

00:38:19.000 Get them all a drink.

00:38:21.000 That's good.

00:38:22.000 Did it show up?

00:38:24.000 No.

00:38:25.000 It says scent here.

00:38:27.000 Oh, okay.

00:38:28.000 Yeah, I got to.

00:38:29.000 Okay, this guy, the guy in the red shoes, I have his name somewhere.

00:38:33.000 I'll get it for you in a second.

00:38:34.000 But he has this like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

00:38:37.000 He moves like a robot that's malfunctioned.

00:38:40.000 Like, he's never not jiggling.

00:38:42.000 When they played Come Sail Away, did you do the lad part?

00:38:44.000 Oh, that's sorry.

00:38:44.000 I wrecked that story.

00:38:45.000 So he goes, I fucking hate this song.

00:38:46.000 And then I leaned over and I hadn't spoken to me.

00:38:48.000 And I go, but do you like the lad, right?

00:38:53.000 Everybody.

00:38:54.000 You know what I mean?

00:38:55.000 Like switching up the garnishes, like, we will rock you, lad.

00:39:00.000 Or what would the inverse be that?

00:39:04.000 Come sail away with me, everybody.

00:39:07.000 Yeah, they work.

00:39:09.000 Okay, this is the most stuttery video I've seen in my entire career.

00:39:14.000 What's his name?

00:39:17.000 That's unbelievable.

00:39:18.000 Yeah.

00:39:19.000 That's a world record.

00:39:21.000 This used to be the good one, and now the other one's the good one.

00:39:24.000 Our shit's I don't even know what's happening anymore.

00:39:28.000 I'm trying to find the name of these guys, which is a waste of time.

00:39:31.000 You know what I'll do?

00:39:32.000 I could send it to myself on a flash drive.

00:39:35.000 That sounds like a huge pain in the ass.

00:39:37.000 This is not going to be worth it.

00:39:40.000 But yeah, these Mexicans will go at each other so fucking hard.

00:39:44.000 And when you see them box, they've been going since they were like five or six years old.

00:39:49.000 So they're not scared.

00:39:50.000 They don't get tired.

00:39:52.000 I have a theory that boxers like Canelo are used to training in Mexico where it's 120 degrees.

00:39:58.000 So they come to Madison Square Garden and they're like, I'm in a fridge.

00:40:02.000 This is easy.

00:40:03.000 And they don't overheat.

00:40:05.000 Whereas if I'm fighting under anything that's not Alaska with snow piled up to my knees, I fucking start overheating and panicking.

00:40:16.000 While Ryan tries to solve this problem, so Ruiz won by decision.

00:40:22.000 He's a big fat pig.

00:40:25.000 But the guy he was up against, Areola, had the weirdest send-off when they interviewed him after the fight.

00:40:33.000 He calls the judges Butterface, or he calls the match Butterface or something.

00:40:38.000 And then he says it can all suck his dick.

00:40:40.000 This is, I think, 2-0.

00:40:43.000 Yeah, check out this on TV.

00:40:45.000 Absolutely, man.

00:40:45.000 You know what?

00:40:46.000 I respect the judges, but today I always say that.

00:40:58.000 Fuck it.

00:40:59.000 But don't tell me you only need to give me 2-3 rounds.

00:41:02.000 Fuck that.

00:41:03.000 I'm going to be the fucking game.

00:41:05.000 I'm going to respect my motherfucking dick.

00:41:10.000 I don't understand you.

00:41:13.000 What does that mean?

00:41:14.000 The judges are pretty except for their face?

00:41:17.000 I guess he's saying his fight was pretty except for the face where he lost.

00:41:22.000 What?

00:41:23.000 And then who sucks your dick?

00:41:25.000 The judges or all of us?

00:41:26.000 Do I have to suck your dick?

00:41:27.000 The whole world, Brad.

00:41:28.000 The whole world sucking your dick?

00:41:30.000 It's a lot of mouths.

00:41:31.000 It's quite a dick.

00:41:33.000 You got a lot of time on your dick if you can get that accomplished.

00:41:37.000 Dude, it's going to have the skin ripped off.

00:41:39.000 It's going to look like Freddy's face.

00:41:40.000 You get 7 billion blowjobs?

00:41:42.000 That really reminded me of Biden's thing where he planned out saying something about, get my wife back, man.

00:41:47.000 I want her to come back.

00:41:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:49.000 And then it just fucking falls apart.

00:41:51.000 Dude, look at gray pants.

00:42:09.000 See, Buxon isn't very videogenic.

00:42:11.000 This doesn't look like a big deal.

00:42:13.000 These punches were brutal.

00:42:14.000 These guys are both world champs.

00:42:18.000 The guy in the shorts just lost his featherweight championship belt.

00:42:26.000 Show the other video?

00:42:30.000 Can you rebooting some?

00:42:31.000 See if it'll work with the videos better.

00:42:34.000 What does his shirt say?

00:42:35.000 Dikes?

00:42:36.000 Does it?

00:42:37.000 It sure does.

00:42:39.000 15 dikes.

00:42:40.000 That's what you get when you're a Mexican jihadist.

00:42:43.000 15 dikes when you go to heaven.

00:42:44.000 Yes.

00:42:48.000 Look how fast he is.

00:42:53.000 Boing, boing, boing.

00:42:56.000 Let's have some spice here.

00:43:01.000 What was that little move?

00:43:03.000 Anyway, that wasn't worth the wait.

00:43:07.000 Let's jump into Antifa BLM.

00:43:22.000 Fuck you, Dad.

00:43:24.000 Those that work forces.

00:43:26.000 There's no way that's me saying fuck you, dad.

00:43:29.000 Fuck you, dad.

00:43:30.000 Why is the screen black?

00:43:33.000 The video ended.

00:43:35.000 Okay.

00:43:38.000 Look at these fucking...

00:43:41.000 Actually, before you do anything, look up Suburbia.

00:43:45.000 The movie Suburbia.

00:43:46.000 It's a punk movie.

00:43:48.000 And I remember being, starting to get into punk as a little kid, like 13.

00:43:51.000 I looked out the window and I saw these punks walking down the street and they're Canadian.

00:43:55.000 So they had lumberjack jackets on and like cone spikes and 14 hole docks and a 2-4 fucking beer.

00:44:01.000 And I remember looking at the window just of the bus just going, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

00:44:07.000 I want to be part of that group so bad.

00:44:09.000 And then in Suburbia, in the trailer, I guess.

00:44:13.000 Wait, you got the whole movie?

00:44:14.000 Looks like it.

00:44:16.000 They're walking down the street.

00:44:18.000 I hope it's at the beginning.

00:44:18.000 No, they kill a dog at the beginning.

00:44:22.000 Yeah, get the trailer, dude.

00:44:24.000 Gotcha.

00:44:26.000 When I asked for a movie, it's best not to get the entire movie.

00:44:29.000 We don't have an hour and a half to flush down the toilet.

00:44:34.000 I mean, wish movies were an hour and a half again.

00:44:36.000 I don't have two and a half hours to give.

00:44:41.000 Okay.

00:44:42.000 Castle Rock, yep.

00:44:45.000 Okay.

00:44:45.000 There's a scene where they're all walking together.

00:44:49.000 Wait, no, that's not the right one.

00:44:51.000 What is it, remake?

00:44:53.000 No, they named another movie Suburbia.

00:44:55.000 Oh.

00:44:56.000 Here we go.

00:44:57.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:45:00.000 That's it.

00:45:01.000 That's it.

00:45:01.000 Perfect.

00:45:03.000 Okay, go back to that walking part.

00:45:06.000 The flea is in this movie, by the way, from the Chili Peppers.

00:45:09.000 I think the.

00:45:11.000 Yeah, I can't remember which one of those guys he is.

00:45:13.000 But when you see that, you just go, that's so fucking badass.

00:45:17.000 Wow, there's a crew.

00:45:20.000 And they all hang out together and they don't take no shit from nobody.

00:45:25.000 What a fucking homemade army.

00:45:29.000 That's fucking awesome.

00:45:31.000 And then you cut to Antifa's version 2-2.

00:45:35.000 Compare that, what you just saw, to this.

00:45:40.000 It really.

00:45:42.000 What?

00:45:42.000 what are you doing?

00:45:46.000 Oh, wow, what are you doing now?

00:45:50.000 I've watched this 350 times, so stop.

00:45:53.000 See if you can zoom in.

00:45:55.000 First of all, there's the chick behind the loser in the wheelchair.

00:45:58.000 Look at her eyelashes.

00:46:01.000 They're palm fronds.

00:46:04.000 They're about an inch long, which is a, you know what that is?

00:46:07.000 That's a crystal.

00:46:08.000 They're all on meth.

00:46:09.000 Looks like she got cast and couched.

00:46:11.000 Yeah, they're on meth.

00:46:13.000 What the f?

00:46:14.000 Look at this guy.

00:46:16.000 And just hold on a second.

00:46:18.000 So first you go, what is...

00:46:19.000 You're distracted by his ridiculous death stare, which is definitely drugs.

00:46:23.000 But then you go, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:46:25.000 What are you wearing?

00:46:26.000 I get the combat pants.

00:46:27.000 I get the flak jacket.

00:46:29.000 I guess that's a medical kit.

00:46:31.000 And then what's the jacket?

00:46:32.000 Is that like a brown leather like bomber jacket?

00:46:36.000 Or is that like a windbreaker with a big white collar?

00:46:39.000 Who dressed you?

00:46:42.000 And then you got Toothy Grin there with the dog and the two beta nerds behind them ready to blog about this and get some things for their fucking It's Going Down Twitter account Her face is identical to Gary Oldman's in Fifth Element.

00:46:58.000 You know that character.

00:47:01.000 Wow.

00:47:02.000 What?

00:47:02.000 I think that's a chick.

00:47:03.000 Cavalcade of cunts.

00:47:07.000 Is that something in her mouth?

00:47:08.000 Yeah, I think it's a stogue.

00:47:11.000 Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.

00:47:12.000 I thought that was her teeth.

00:47:16.000 I'm not ashamed.

00:47:18.000 Look at badass.

00:47:19.000 So if you go back to that tweet.

00:47:21.000 Is she skitching off the dog?

00:47:24.000 Like the dog's actually charioting her?

00:47:27.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:47:28.000 He's a juggalo.

00:47:30.000 There he is.

00:47:31.000 A juggalo who has been arrested many times for stabbing people, all kinds of violent acts.

00:47:38.000 And so they're taking over Seattle.

00:47:40.000 And if you look at 2-3, they shut down the roads.

00:47:44.000 So that's Portland you just saw.

00:47:46.000 This is Seattle, where they tried to shut down the roads, and it didn't work.

00:47:51.000 So they just jumped on cars.

00:47:52.000 Look at this guy.

00:47:53.000 He jumps on a car.

00:48:05.000 Abolish ice?

00:48:06.000 Is that what his umbrella says?

00:48:08.000 What are you abolishing?

00:48:10.000 Maybe it just says abolish.

00:48:13.000 Yeah, it does.

00:48:13.000 It just says abolish.

00:48:14.000 Just abolish.

00:48:16.000 Just go out on an abolishing tear.

00:48:18.000 Abolish everything.

00:48:21.000 Look at that.

00:48:21.000 That's a grown man.

00:48:22.000 He's my age.

00:48:24.000 Abolish physics.

00:48:25.000 Abolish aging.

00:48:29.000 Abolish gout.

00:48:33.000 I talked to a guy who lives there and I said, how are you surviving?

00:48:36.000 And he goes, we're all out, dude.

00:48:38.000 We're all going across the bridge to Washington State.

00:48:41.000 There's a mass exodus.

00:48:44.000 Oh, our new studio is coming along quite well.

00:48:46.000 I want to have a wall of TVs behind me.

00:48:47.000 And when I'm talking, this might be distracting, but we could show a movie like Suburbia just behind me.

00:48:52.000 That's kind of cool.

00:48:53.000 Just like a mood.

00:48:54.000 Yeah.

00:48:55.000 Have a bunch of like B-roll.

00:48:57.000 Hell yeah.

00:48:58.000 We'll see.

00:48:58.000 It's pretty cool.

00:48:59.000 You could even make obscure it a little bit.

00:49:01.000 The last thing.

00:49:02.000 Oh, no, sorry.

00:49:03.000 I wanted to show you this.

00:49:05.000 I know you didn't think this exists, but did you know there's a such thing as a vegan butcher shop?

00:49:15.000 Wait, was that?

00:49:16.000 Yeah, 2-4.

00:49:19.000 What do you do?

00:49:21.000 Who, who, who are you, and what do you do?

00:49:24.000 Please help me out here.

00:49:27.000 What do they do?

00:49:27.000 Chop tofu?

00:49:29.000 You don't need an apron for tofu, dude.

00:49:32.000 Of course it's leather.

00:49:34.000 How fucking embarrassing is that?

00:49:36.000 A vegan butcher shop.

00:49:40.000 I mean, half of the left are just playing house.

00:49:43.000 They're playing capitalism.

00:49:44.000 They're playing butcher.

00:49:45.000 They're playing society.

00:49:46.000 It's all a game.

00:49:48.000 Look at those brand new, sparkling, clean aprons.

00:49:52.000 Yeah.

00:49:53.000 Like this chiropractor at my bar who wears OR scrubs.

00:49:56.000 And I'm like, Terry, those are for discharge, vomit, blood, when you accidentally cut the femoral artery and it's spraying all over you.

00:50:05.000 You crack backs.

00:50:07.000 He's like, my wife's worried about COVID.

00:50:09.000 I have to have something I can take off and put by the front door when I get home.

00:50:12.000 Like your balls?

00:50:16.000 Meanwhile, cops are dropping like flies, murdered all over the place.

00:50:20.000 Nariamenshin, say his name, Christopher Farrar, 25.

00:50:27.000 He was just murdered by someone who stole a car.

00:50:30.000 And it's one thing to deny these people parades and t-shirts and media attention and days of the month devoted to them and murals.

00:50:44.000 We're not begging for murals here.

00:50:46.000 We're begging for any kind of attention, any kind of...

00:50:50.000 Like, would you have heard about this if I hadn't brought it up?

00:50:53.000 This one actually, I saw it and liked because somebody follow retweeted.

00:50:56.000 But there's definitely no news about it.

00:50:59.000 This is coming from all over this country and no one is going near it.

00:51:04.000 Read that one out or move it over so I can read it.

00:51:08.000 With heavy hearts, we announced the passing of Chandler Police.

00:51:12.000 Christopher Farrar, Officer Farrar, was struck and killed by a suspect driving a stolen vehicle early this evening.

00:51:18.000 He was an 18-year veteran of the Chandler Police Department.

00:51:24.000 And that's his daughter saying, rest in peace, Daddy, I love you.

00:51:29.000 And then, of course, let's not forget last week's Anastasios Takos, who saw an accident late at night.

00:51:37.000 And he pulled over and made sure that everyone was safe.

00:51:40.000 And this fucking disgusting piece of garbage, no, not Ben Shapiro, who had just ended her podcast with fuck the police and a shot, charged into him.

00:51:50.000 Now, the cops I know say that she's not going to get much.

00:51:53.000 She might get 15 years, but it's going to be a misdemeanor.

00:51:57.000 In fact, one of the cops said, if you ever want to kill someone, just get in the car and fucking run them over.

00:52:02.000 Then you just get away with a misdemeanor.

00:52:05.000 Handy tip.

00:52:06.000 They do something similar, like you said in China, right?

00:52:09.000 Instead of dealing with shit, they'll just kill the person that they hit?

00:52:12.000 No, they're totally different.

00:52:13.000 In China, you are responsible for your victim's hospital bills.

00:52:17.000 Right.

00:52:18.000 unless they die.

00:52:19.000 So if you hit someone and you knock off their arm and they're going to have to have like a $150,000 prosthetic arm, you just reverse over the body and then drive over them and reverse over the body and drive over them until they're deed.

00:52:34.000 All right, I want to get into racism, but speaking of law enforcement, you got to see this thing that the CIA just put out, where a woman...

00:52:49.000 You are just kids.

00:52:50.000 Remember when Queen Latifah said she's going to shut down the CIA if anyone fucks with her?

00:52:55.000 That was in the equalizer we watched with Josh Denny.

00:52:58.000 Well, this is Queef Latina, and she's one of the people that will be shut down if the equalizer gets pissed off.

00:53:03.000 This is just some random fucking Hispanic chick who works at the CIA.

00:53:08.000 Okay.

00:53:08.000 I figured you're what?

00:53:10.000 20% of the population?

00:53:12.000 Hispanic people?

00:53:13.000 I figured there'd be some of you at the CIA.

00:53:15.000 No, no, this is a huge deal.

00:53:18.000 She is a Latina, and she works at a CIA.

00:53:22.000 What the fuck?

00:53:23.000 Wait till you see this.

00:53:24.000 This makes no sense.

00:53:25.000 Okay, so first of all, she's walking down the hallway.

00:53:29.000 Don't even press play yet.

00:53:30.000 But what is this?

00:53:32.000 Like leadership, agency before unit, mission before self.

00:53:36.000 Some big dumb inspiration board.

00:53:38.000 I guarantee you it was a woman who came up with this idea where we should have messages of inspiration on the walls.

00:53:46.000 Anyway, this woman's name is Misha.

00:53:48.000 Mia.

00:53:49.000 Mia.

00:53:50.000 Mia.

00:53:51.000 And she has her name on her fucking shirt.

00:53:54.000 Imagine I was walking through the CIA because I worked there and I had a shirt that said Gavin.

00:53:59.000 And I was just like, I'm me and I work here and I can do it.

00:54:03.000 People would assume I had Down syndrome.

00:54:06.000 I think Vin Diesel would cringe at that.

00:54:08.000 Cringe diesel.

00:54:11.000 Okay, let's see it.

00:54:14.000 Wait, what are you doing?

00:54:15.000 Syndrome.

00:54:16.000 But at 36, I used to struggle with imposter syndrome.

00:54:20.000 But at 36, I refused to.

00:54:22.000 Stop, stop.

00:54:24.000 So, her shirt, not just, it doesn't just say her name.

00:54:29.000 It has a woman's symbol with a fist.

00:54:32.000 So just her existence is a feminist statement.

00:54:34.000 The fact that I'm Hispanic and I work at the CIA is a feminist statement.

00:54:37.000 My uncle is Mexican.

00:54:40.000 He worked at the CIA fucking half a century ago.

00:54:44.000 No one gave a shit.

00:54:45.000 This is not some incredible accomplishment.

00:54:47.000 This is called normal.

00:54:49.000 What do you think?

00:54:50.000 Like the implication here is that everywhere is racist, systemic racism.

00:54:54.000 So everywhere along the way, on her way to the CIA, people are going, you're not good enough.

00:54:58.000 You're not a white male.

00:55:00.000 So you can't be in the CIA because it's only white males.

00:55:02.000 Because that's how the CIA works.

00:55:04.000 So for her to be there, I guess it gave her imposter syndrome.

00:55:08.000 She was posing as a white male and now she's realizing, no, the fact that I'm a Hispanic woman is enough.

00:55:13.000 We belong here too, you know.

00:55:16.000 No one's.

00:55:17.000 What are you rebelling against?

00:55:21.000 I refuse to internalize.

00:55:22.000 Internalize misguided, patriarchal ideas of what is happening.

00:55:25.000 That's the worst lagging I've ever seen.

00:55:27.000 How long have we had this lagging issue, Ryan?

00:55:31.000 This computer never had the lagging.

00:55:34.000 Oh, so it's getting worse.

00:55:35.000 So that's good news.

00:55:36.000 That's confusing too.

00:55:37.000 Oh, good.

00:55:37.000 Thanks.

00:55:38.000 Let's try this one.

00:55:41.000 Did we order the new TriCaster yet?

00:55:44.000 I believe we did.

00:55:47.000 I used to struggle with imposter syndrome, but at 36, I refused to internalize it.

00:55:54.000 Change is a comment or something?

00:55:57.000 Mia, be that.

00:55:59.000 You are worth it.

00:56:00.000 You are worth it.

00:56:01.000 And just her name, like, Gavin, you can do it with like a male symbol and a fist.

00:56:08.000 How embarrassing would that be?

00:56:11.000 Ryan, you got this.

00:56:14.000 The text is upside down so she could read it when she looks down.

00:56:19.000 You are worth it.

00:56:20.000 What are you talking about?

00:56:22.000 What?

00:56:25.000 But at 36, I refuse to internalize misguided patriarchal ideas of what a woman can or should be.

00:56:32.000 Stop.

00:56:33.000 So wait, you're 36 and you've just now accepted that it's okay for you to have a job at the CIA.

00:56:39.000 Grow the fuck up.

00:56:41.000 And the whole patriarchal thing?

00:56:45.000 No.

00:56:46.000 No.

00:56:48.000 Tired of feeling like I'm supposed to apologize for the space I occupy rather than intoxicate people with my effort, my brilliance.

00:56:57.000 That's why I chose to do a green screen on this.

00:57:00.000 So intoxicate people.

00:57:04.000 So she's so awesome that when you're in her presence, you get drunk.

00:57:10.000 You get a contact high from her amazingness, her effort.

00:57:16.000 Just her trying something.

00:57:18.000 Hello?

00:57:20.000 Can I help you?

00:57:21.000 What's the matter with you, dude?

00:57:22.000 You're drunk at work?

00:57:23.000 No, I didn't drink alcohol.

00:57:25.000 I was speaking to Mizia and her effort, she was trying to solve a crime and get some intelligence on some jihadists.

00:57:35.000 And it was intoxicating.

00:57:38.000 I remember seeing a porn once where, what's her name?

00:57:41.000 Asia Akira.

00:57:43.000 She'd just been drilled for like an hour and she said, oh my God, I'm dick drunk after being plowed for 20 minutes.

00:57:48.000 That's what it's like to hang out with Misa.

00:57:52.000 You get pussy drunk from her incredible femininity.

00:57:56.000 It's intoxicating.

00:57:57.000 You know what this reminds me of?

00:57:58.000 You know the black guy from Ghostbusters?

00:58:01.000 He was a guest on Compound once.

00:58:04.000 And my son was very young at the time.

00:58:06.000 My middle boy was like maybe five or six and he was obsessed with Ghostbusters.

00:58:11.000 And I went up to him and I said, hey man, I'm sorry to bother you.

00:58:14.000 I'm sure you get this a hundred times.

00:58:15.000 But if you could just on my phone, while I record you video, could you just say who you're going to call?

00:58:21.000 And he goes, okay.

00:58:22.000 So he does it.

00:58:23.000 Who you're going to call?

00:58:25.000 And then a black friend was there and he said, can you just Say Ghostbusters, he stole my idea basically for his kid.

00:58:33.000 And you know what the dude said for his kid?

00:58:35.000 The black guy's kid?

00:58:36.000 He looks into the camera and he goes, You are a god.

00:58:43.000 What?

00:58:44.000 No, you're not.

00:58:45.000 You're a five-year-old black kid.

00:58:47.000 You're not a god.

00:58:49.000 Chill the out.

00:58:51.000 And all of this, like I intoxicate people with my efforts.

00:58:56.000 All of this stupid, you're a god talk, it sounds like the bigotry of low expectations.

00:59:00.000 It sounds like saying, you're not human garbage.

00:59:03.000 You're not a waste of space.

00:59:04.000 You're a somebody.

00:59:05.000 Like, I would be insulted if someone came up to me and said, you know what?

00:59:09.000 You're a person and you matter.

00:59:10.000 I go, yeah, I know.

00:59:11.000 What the fuck?

00:59:12.000 Where'd you get this from?

00:59:14.000 Of course I matter, shithead.

00:59:18.000 Go ahead.

00:59:19.000 Go back a bit.

00:59:20.000 I want to hear that.

00:59:21.000 What was before intoxicating?

00:59:24.000 Effort.

00:59:25.000 Like, I'm supposed to apologize for the space I occupy.

00:59:28.000 Stop rather than intoxicate.

00:59:32.000 No one asked you to apologize for the space you occupy.

00:59:35.000 And what's with all of this stupid college jargon leaking into the Central Intelligence Agency?

00:59:41.000 Can you focus on sex trafficking and jihadists, please?

00:59:46.000 Just do anything.

00:59:49.000 I occupy rather than intoxicate people with my effort, my brilliance.

00:59:54.000 I am proud of me.

00:59:55.000 Full stop.

00:59:56.000 Stop my proud.

00:59:57.000 Stop.

00:59:58.000 My brilliance.

01:00:00.000 I am proud of me.

01:00:00.000 I'm going to duplicate this exactly with a shirt that says, Gavin, you can do it.

01:00:05.000 And you'll just, you'll assume I'm in the Special Olympics.

01:00:08.000 This sounds like the Special Olympics.

01:00:11.000 I am proud of me.

01:00:12.000 She's 36 years old.

01:00:15.000 And she's saying, I'm proud of me.

01:00:17.000 I'm number one.

01:00:18.000 We used to, in order to get to sit together with my ad agency, I would pretend that I was special at the check-in gate.

01:00:24.000 And my buddy would say, hey, I should be with my stepbrother here because he has needs.

01:00:30.000 And they'd be like, oh, sure, certainly, sir.

01:00:32.000 And they'd make sure we were always together near the front.

01:00:34.000 We always had great seats.

01:00:35.000 I'm not proud of it.

01:00:36.000 It was unethical.

01:00:38.000 But I really got into it after a while.

01:00:43.000 And then I was getting on the plane and I gave her my ticket.

01:00:47.000 And then she's like, thank you.

01:00:49.000 And I go, I'm number one.

01:00:52.000 And she goes, yes, you are.

01:00:55.000 That's what we're dealing with here.

01:00:56.000 She just said, I'm proud of me.

01:00:59.000 People get drunk when they see how hard I try.

01:01:04.000 Go ahead, Mija.

01:01:06.000 You're my friend.

01:01:08.000 I want to be your friend, Mija.

01:01:10.000 You have a t-shirt that says you on it.

01:01:13.000 I want a Mi-shirt.

01:01:15.000 That's not a t-shirt.

01:01:16.000 It's a Mi-shirt.

01:01:17.000 I want a Mi-shirt.

01:01:20.000 My brilliance.

01:01:22.000 I am proud of me.

01:01:23.000 Full stop.

01:01:24.000 My parents left everything they knew and loved to expose me to opportunities they Yes, so did mine.

01:01:31.000 So did everybody's.

01:01:33.000 So did Ryan's shitty dad.

01:01:35.000 He came from Japan.

01:01:36.000 My parents came from Scotland and England.

01:01:38.000 I came here.

01:01:40.000 I left everything I knew from Quebec to come to New York City.

01:01:44.000 It's not a big deal.

01:01:46.000 In fact, we all started in Africa, so emigrating to a new place is what people do.

01:01:53.000 In fact, these two look like a mix of Aztecs and Spanish conquistadors.

01:01:58.000 So their background is conquering and moving and immigrating.

01:02:02.000 And that's fucking life, you silly cow.

01:02:05.000 I am sober as a judge by your efforts.

01:02:10.000 Full stop.

01:02:11.000 My parents left everything they knew and loved to expose me to opportunities they never had.

01:02:19.000 Pretty good.

01:02:19.000 He's wearing a tuxedo.

01:02:21.000 This guy is not exactly in lawn care.

01:02:24.000 How brave.

01:02:25.000 Of them, I stand here today a proud first-generation Latina and officer at CIA.

01:02:35.000 What an absolute shit show clown loser retard Mija is.

01:02:52.000 James O'Keefe just sent me something.

01:02:58.000 I'll email it to you.

01:03:03.000 I think it's like a rock video he made called Oligarchy starring the breathtakingly gorgeous Isabelle O'Reilly, who is actually too pretty.

01:03:19.000 She's burned victim pretty.

01:03:21.000 Where you'd be embarrassed to take her to a party because everyone would stop talking and go, what the fuck?

01:03:31.000 Is this what I think it is?

01:03:35.000 It bleeds and leads.

01:03:36.000 I think that's an obvious thing.

01:03:37.000 Twitter permanently suspended his account after he exposed hypocrisy and fraud at CNN.

01:03:53.000 Coordinated disinformation.

01:03:54.000 The New York Times were definitely a major victory in that case.

01:04:02.000 That would tell them to go to hell.

01:04:29.000 Can James be weirder, please?

01:04:31.000 This is fucking awesome.

01:04:32.000 Like, how does he pull it off?

01:04:33.000 Like, this is the recipe for cringe.

01:04:36.000 But it is awesome.

01:04:38.000 Maybe because he's got like a Bueller vibe.

01:04:42.000 Yeah, he's he bulled out of he Bueller out of the uncanny uncringy valley.

01:04:49.000 That's a great fucking album name.

01:04:52.000 Buellering out of the uncanny valley.

01:05:02.000 People are going to isolate that and make that a Zile for sure.

01:05:06.000 Yeah.

01:05:07.000 You got to hand it to him.

01:05:09.000 I was saying to him the other day, when Sean Hannity is saying to Donald Trump, did you see the Project Very test footage?

01:05:17.000 CNN admitting that they were just doing this for propaganda?

01:05:19.000 He goes, Oh, yes, of course.

01:05:21.000 Like, everything now, James, is just gravy.

01:05:24.000 That's probably why he's doing silly shit like this.

01:05:26.000 Because it's all just icing.

01:05:30.000 Once the president is discussing you, like Proud Boys, for example, you're good.

01:05:35.000 You've made an impact.

01:05:37.000 Yeah, they don't do enough victory laps, you know, so this seems very warranted.

01:05:43.000 Because they got some bombshells they'd be dropping.

01:05:46.000 Well, I think the secret for James is to stop getting defensive.

01:05:49.000 Not that he was.

01:05:50.000 Well, he hasn't been recently, but many years ago, he'd always be like, no, I didn't re-edit it.

01:05:54.000 No, that is true.

01:05:55.000 No, this is what actually happened.

01:05:58.000 And now he just has to go suck my dick, just like the Ariello.

01:06:02.000 You could all suck my motherfucking dick.

01:06:06.000 Yeah.

01:06:06.000 All right, let's drift into racism.

01:06:12.000 Let's talk about racism that was racist, guys.

01:06:23.000 We have a new song.

01:06:26.000 Someone has remixed Can You Imagine If the Races Were Reversed?

01:06:30.000 And it's a fucking jam.

01:06:33.000 And it's relevant to this first story.

01:06:39.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:06:43.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:06:48.000 You didn't show that on.

01:06:56.000 No, no, I took the video of a different one, but that was just audio.

01:07:00.000 Right.

01:07:01.000 So it was a mashup.

01:07:02.000 So Kristen Clark, Biden's nominee to head the civil rights at DOJ, used to edit this black nationalist newsletter that is pretty fucking insane.

01:07:17.000 Now, if it was a white nationalist newsletter, it would be the most racist newsletter you've ever fucking heard of or even imagined in your life.

01:07:27.000 And so she would promote various essays, edit various essays, come up with headlines.

01:07:34.000 And so by proxy, she was agreeing with this.

01:07:37.000 This was her thing.

01:07:39.000 And she swore under oath that she didn't work for any radical newsletters or magazines or anything.

01:07:45.000 So she's perjured herself before she's even begun as the head of the Department of Justice Civil Rights Division.

01:07:52.000 So first, she personally said that black people are superior to white people and that human mental processes in the brain have chemicals that imbue one race, the black race, with superior physical and mental abilities and spiritual abilities.

01:08:09.000 Mmm.

01:08:10.000 That's like what Nick Cannon was talking about where the melanin, because they're sun people, the sun goes into them and they're more in touch with the planets than we are.

01:08:18.000 Yeah, 20 times a day, blacks are sending other blacks to the spirit realm.

01:08:24.000 By the way, not that I want to get into that topic with you, but if white people are paler, that means they're more susceptible to the sun.

01:08:34.000 Like, that's why we get a sunburn, because we're very sensitive to the vitamin D from the sun.

01:08:39.000 Blacks eschew the sun, and it doesn't make them much darker.

01:08:43.000 Yeah, your skin's wearing sunglasses.

01:08:44.000 You're more in touch with the sun?

01:08:45.000 You have shades on.

01:08:46.000 Yeah.

01:08:47.000 Yeah, you are shades.

01:08:50.000 We're just bare eyeballs.

01:08:53.000 And then she talks about, or sorry, her magazine would talk about this radical revolutionary that they kept quoting and having as a contributor.

01:09:04.000 So there's Professor Tony Martin, who I looked up, very radical, anti-Semite.

01:09:08.000 He talks about how the Jews stole all the African inventions.

01:09:13.000 And that's why they're so rich, because they stole African knowledge, which I don't understand that.

01:09:18.000 Can't you just come up with more knowledge?

01:09:21.000 Unless it's a lobotomy, a genetic lobotomy, just you steal my plans for a plane, I'll probably reinvent a new plane.

01:09:29.000 Like say we burned everything the Wright brothers did, stole it, and then copyrighted it and said you can't make any more of these wood planes.

01:09:37.000 I have a feeling they'd have a different plane pretty soon after.

01:09:42.000 For example, if you jump down to the end and you go to 41, this is an engineer who had his knowledge stolen and he was left with nothing but a rubber band.

01:09:53.000 And his goal was, I'm going to make one of these rubber band planes fly as slowly as humanly possible.

01:10:13.000 Wow.

01:10:22.000 So, like, his knowledge can't be stolen.

01:10:26.000 I don't understand what you're talking about, Professor.

01:10:29.000 What the?

01:10:31.000 Does it stop, or I'm just not seeing it?

01:10:33.000 It's doing like perfect circle.

01:10:35.000 Wait, how's it doing that?

01:10:37.000 No, I think sometimes you just can't see the propeller spinning because of the lighting.

01:10:40.000 Right, but it's not hooked up to anything that makes it spin in a perfect circle.

01:10:44.000 No, he's got one of the wings is slightly different than the other.

01:10:48.000 Wow.

01:10:49.000 To make a circle.

01:10:49.000 That rules.

01:10:51.000 Can't steal that knowledge.

01:10:55.000 But yeah, sorry, to get back to that guy.

01:10:56.000 So another one of the authors that they featured on their site was a poet.

01:11:02.000 And he had this poem, which I'm sure my enemies are going to take out of context.

01:11:06.000 I got the extermination blues, Jew boys.

01:11:08.000 I got the Hitler syndrome figured.

01:11:11.000 So come for the rent, Jew boys, or come ask me for a book, or sit in the courts handing down your judgment.

01:11:16.000 Still, I got something for you.

01:11:18.000 Gonna give it to my brothers so they'll know what your whole story is.

01:11:21.000 Then one day, Jew boys, we all, even my wig-wearing mother, gonna put it on you all at once.

01:11:30.000 That doesn't sound good for anyone involved.

01:11:33.000 I'm not looking forward to that.

01:11:35.000 And then, of course, this poet also wrote: this poet's name is Amira Baraka, Amiri Baraka, who was a regular at her paper, and she was a big fan.

01:11:47.000 And he ended one of his poems with: We are all beautiful, except white people.

01:11:54.000 They're full of and made of shit.

01:11:58.000 Come up, black dadda.

01:12:01.000 Nihil Smus, Nihilism.

01:12:04.000 Rape the white girls, rape their fathers, cut their mothers' throats.

01:12:10.000 Now, say I worked at a newspaper that said that about black people, right?

01:12:18.000 What black people are full of made of shit.

01:12:20.000 And then I said, rape the black girls, rape their fathers.

01:12:24.000 And then I also published, like, say Vice published things like, I got the extermination blues, Jew boys, right?

01:12:29.000 And talked about how whites have chemicals that imbue them with superior physical and mental abilities.

01:12:35.000 Say I did all that.

01:12:37.000 And then you found out I was going to be nominated the head of civil rights at Trump's Department of Justice.

01:12:46.000 Doesn't fit.

01:12:48.000 You can't imagine it.

01:12:50.000 Not possible.

01:12:52.000 But in the bigotry of low expectations, we say, yes, you're brilliant.

01:12:57.000 Wear a t-shirt of you with a fist.

01:12:59.000 You can do it, Maija.

01:13:02.000 Yes, you can have your...

01:13:03.000 Because if you think less of blacks, then when blacks say, I'm superior to you, you go, yes, you are.

01:13:09.000 You're number one.

01:13:11.000 That's what they're doing.

01:13:13.000 By letting one group get away with this kind of shit, you're calling them retards.

01:13:19.000 And you're saying, yes, I know.

01:13:21.000 I suck.

01:13:22.000 I don't have enough melanin.

01:13:24.000 Yeah, you do.

01:13:25.000 Hey, look, you're the head of the Civil Rights Commission.

01:13:28.000 You go, girl.

01:13:30.000 Look, we made a t-shirt with your name on it.

01:13:33.000 And we made a little video of you saying that you're brilliant and you intoxicate people with your efforts.

01:13:40.000 Good little retard.

01:13:44.000 Here's some good news.

01:13:45.000 Critical race theory dies in Texas.

01:13:47.000 They had two seats on the board in Dallas.

01:13:51.000 And the anti-woke, this is 2.8, the anti-woke candidates won 70% of the votes.

01:13:58.000 Wow.

01:13:59.000 And they were running on fuck this diversity shit, this woke shit.

01:14:04.000 I do think critical race theory should be taught in schools.

01:14:08.000 But it's a theory.

01:14:09.000 So you should say, some people believe this.

01:14:12.000 You should also say Holocaust deniers believe this.

01:14:16.000 You should know about theories, no matter how crazy they are.

01:14:20.000 But my problem with the way it's being constructed now is it's being taught as fact.

01:14:25.000 The 69 Project teaches children that this land was stolen from the Indians and built by slavery and is built, the bricks of this country are built on racism, which is a ridiculous theory.

01:14:38.000 It's a flat earth theory.

01:14:40.000 I think you should hear what the flat earthers say.

01:14:42.000 I think a teacher should have a flat earther come to class.

01:14:46.000 Sure.

01:14:48.000 Holocaust deniers a little more contentious, but a critical race theorist?

01:14:52.000 Yes, come on in.

01:14:54.000 But you're just a guest here on our Kukamami Theories, Kakamami Theories Day.

01:15:01.000 And I think I know why.

01:15:03.000 And I think I know why.

01:15:06.000 2-9.

01:15:12.000 This is, it's still clinging to colleges.

01:15:15.000 And I want you to take a special note at the patronizing and cunty tone this woman has.

01:15:22.000 I just got worried, dude.

01:15:23.000 What?

01:15:24.000 About our new neighbors at our new studio.

01:15:26.000 Oh, you just me saying Hitler and Jew boys and Kanti.

01:15:31.000 Well, these ones deal with it just fine, unless they secretly hate us.

01:15:34.000 They're Chinese, dude.

01:15:35.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:15:37.000 You never know what they're capable of.

01:15:39.000 So you brought up the police in your speech a few times.

01:15:43.000 So what is your, like, what is your main concern?

01:15:48.000 Since, I mean, honestly, the whole reason police, I mean, it is systemic.

01:15:54.000 The issue is systemic because the whole reason we have police departments in the first place, we're just talking about...

01:16:00.000 It's got a Rachel Maddow tick.

01:16:02.000 Rachel Maddow does that too, where she's like, so people are going to be talking and, you know, thinking they're doing something good for the world when they're actually doing something really bad.

01:16:13.000 And no, you're not dreaming.

01:16:15.000 You don't have to pinch yourself.

01:16:17.000 We are living in Nazi Germany.

01:16:20.000 And the Gestapo are the police force.

01:16:27.000 Police departments in the first place.

01:16:28.000 Where did it stem from?

01:16:29.000 What's our history?

01:16:30.000 Going back to what Jeremy was talking about, what does it stem from?

01:16:34.000 It stems from people in the South wanting to capture runaway slaves.

01:16:40.000 Stop.

01:16:41.000 Wow.

01:16:42.000 Could you have a more parochial view of the world?

01:16:47.000 Did you know that America is not the only country in the world?

01:16:51.000 Did you know that?

01:16:52.000 So there might be a case to be made that some police are rooted in slave catchers in some parts of America.

01:17:00.000 Have you ever heard of the world?

01:17:03.000 What?

01:17:05.000 Are the police in Malaysia rooted in slavery?

01:17:09.000 Are the police in Taipei rooted in slavery?

01:17:14.000 What about Stuttgart, Germany?

01:17:17.000 I suppose they're rooted in Nazis, but they were around before the Nazis.

01:17:20.000 So why is it that because you found some early southern police linked to slave catching, now all police in America come from slavery?

01:17:32.000 And how could you be so blind as to take that as a fact and ignore police in Canada, Ireland?

01:17:40.000 You know what country doesn't have police?

01:17:44.000 Nowhere, Zeville.

01:17:46.000 Every fucking country in the world, every society has law enforcement.

01:17:52.000 You stupid bitch.

01:17:57.000 This is who's teaching our kids.

01:17:59.000 And you know what's really adding insult to injury for these poor bastards?

01:18:02.000 They're going a quarter of a million dollars into debt to get patronized by a cunt.

01:18:08.000 What kind of S and M relationship is this?

01:18:11.000 You know, those money dominatrixes where they don't just stand on your balls, you give them like all your savings and you say, yes, mass, mistress, or whatever she's called.

01:18:22.000 That's what this is.

01:18:24.000 This is a sexual perversion.

01:18:26.000 College is a fetish now where you go millions of dollars in debt to get abused by a cunt dominatrix.

01:18:34.000 That's what it is.

01:18:36.000 So if you send your children to college, you're a pervert.

01:18:41.000 Maybe they shouldn't be heroes.

01:18:42.000 Maybe they don't belong on a kid's show.

01:18:46.000 So I disagree with the...

01:18:47.000 Wait a minute.

01:18:48.000 I got to hear that.

01:18:49.000 So he's against Paw Patrol because of George Floyd?

01:18:53.000 Maybe they shouldn't be heroes.

01:18:54.000 No, no, go back.

01:18:55.000 People in the South wanting to capture runaway slaves.

01:19:00.000 Maybe they shouldn't be heroes.

01:19:02.000 Maybe they don't belong on a kid's show.

01:19:05.000 So I disagree with the...

01:19:07.000 So we can't have that dog on Paw Patrol who's a cop, right?

01:19:14.000 I think they've canceled Paw Patrol.

01:19:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:17.000 So you can't have Paw Patrol because around 400 years ago, there were people who caught runaway slaves.

01:19:24.000 And by the way, slavery was ubiquitous.

01:19:28.000 And they had people catching runaway slaves in Africa, in Brazil, which got 3 million slaves.

01:19:35.000 10 times the slaves we got.

01:19:37.000 Wait, is it even more than that?

01:19:38.000 We got like 320,000.

01:19:40.000 They got 3.2 million.

01:19:44.000 I'm so fucking stupid.

01:19:45.000 My dad would kill me if he saw this.

01:19:46.000 320,000, right?

01:19:49.000 320,000.

01:19:52.000 And then they got 3.2 million.

01:19:54.000 So 3.2, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.

01:19:57.000 3.

01:19:58.000 So that's 3.

01:20:00.000 3.200.

01:20:03.000 This is taking so long.

01:20:04.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 0s.

01:20:05.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 0.

01:20:07.000 10 times.

01:20:08.000 They got 10 times the slaves we got.

01:20:12.000 They had slave catchers.

01:20:13.000 Are their police a lie too?

01:20:15.000 What about African police?

01:20:17.000 See, this is the lack of rigor in modern education.

01:20:21.000 You have some silly cow, some barista patronizing you because she read one stupid little fact about the slave catchers.

01:20:28.000 And she notice how she delivers it like it's a fucking slam dunk.

01:20:33.000 Suck on that, Mr. I Love Slavs about it because I think I disagree with what Jeremy said about it because I think cops are heroes and they have to have a difficult job, but we have to have not,

01:20:51.000 I mean, I'd say a good majority of them.

01:20:53.000 You have bad people in every business and every part.

01:20:57.000 Well, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:20:59.000 Police officers have committed atrocious crimes and have gotten away with it and have never been convicted.

01:21:03.000 Name one, name one, name one.

01:21:05.000 Stop.

01:21:05.000 Please, assistant professor who's raping my bank account right now.

01:21:10.000 Can you name one?

01:21:12.000 Abner Luima got a broom pole shoved up his ass.

01:21:15.000 What happened to Justin Volpe?

01:21:17.000 Oh, he's still in prison right now.

01:21:19.000 Please tell me about a cop who murdered an innocent black man who was not trying to kill said cop and got away scot-free.

01:21:27.000 Please.

01:21:27.000 I can tell you cops who deserve to be innocent who were penalized, like the cops involved in the Rodney King fight or Derek Chauvin, I don't believe was guilty.

01:21:38.000 He didn't get away with it, but please tell me about all these cops literally getting away with murder.

01:21:44.000 Please list them.

01:21:45.000 And then please list all the cops who are murdered every year.

01:21:48.000 Let's compare those numbers.

01:21:50.000 Let me just tell you something, you fucking sour-faced chiselhead.

01:21:56.000 Your average police force has about 40% of the people who are, they just want to get through the day.

01:22:04.000 They want to make it to their pension.

01:22:07.000 They don't want to rock the boat.

01:22:09.000 They're not particularly ambitious.

01:22:11.000 They're happy to pencil push.

01:22:12.000 They'd like a desk job, to be honest.

01:22:14.000 That's 40%.

01:22:15.000 20% are cowboys.

01:22:18.000 And they want to go out there, yeehaw.

01:22:20.000 They want to save the day.

01:22:21.000 They want to catch the bad guys in the act.

01:22:23.000 They risk their lives on a daily basis.

01:22:25.000 They're wild men.

01:22:26.000 And they're heroes, superheroes, I would even say.

01:22:28.000 I'd give the first 40% hero.

01:22:30.000 I'd give this 20% superhero status, right?

01:22:34.000 Now we're up to 60%.

01:22:36.000 About another 35% are somewhere in between the two.

01:22:40.000 They're ambitious.

01:22:40.000 They go there.

01:22:41.000 They risk their life, but they're not going to do anything stupid.

01:22:43.000 Like, not that it's stupid to run into a burning building, but there's firemen who go beyond the Call of Duty and go in there and risk their lives.

01:22:50.000 Those are the cowboys.

01:22:51.000 But then there's the slightly ambitious ones.

01:22:52.000 That's like 35%.

01:22:53.000 Now we're at 95%, right?

01:22:55.000 5% are fucking assholes.

01:22:57.000 They're dicks.

01:22:58.000 They're going to make you, they're going to bust your ass for a joint or something.

01:23:03.000 They're going to give you a fine for a broken taillight.

01:23:06.000 They're jerks.

01:23:07.000 They were dicks their whole lives.

01:23:08.000 They chose the police force to be assholes.

01:23:10.000 That's 5%.

01:23:11.000 That 5% are not going to blow their pension by doing something illegal, by murdering someone, by roughing you up.

01:23:22.000 They're just within the law being dicks about it and not cutting you any slack.

01:23:28.000 That's about the same as dentists and people with internet TV shows.

01:23:35.000 So calm the fuck down.

01:23:36.000 What's this cop you have?

01:23:38.000 I wake up every morning and kiss my family.

01:23:42.000 That's a given.

01:23:43.000 Goodbye.

01:23:44.000 Me too.

01:23:45.000 Dead men tell no tales.

01:23:47.000 I don't.

01:23:51.000 Every morning and kiss my family goodbye.

01:23:56.000 Knowing that there's a possibility I won't come home.

01:24:00.000 I am tired of every time I wake up in the morning that someone else polarizes the fact that maybe law enforcement is just not a good thing.

01:24:10.000 All of us are not bad.

01:24:12.000 I am not as they are.

01:24:14.000 Most of us are not.

01:24:15.000 There are bad people in every career.

01:24:18.000 I'm so goddamn tired.

01:24:20.000 Tired.

01:24:21.000 Tired.

01:24:24.000 Black things.

01:24:34.000 You get to a level of emotion where you're actually hurting the cause, you know?

01:24:39.000 You know that dude who called LeBron James for advice?

01:24:42.000 Yes, I've been following that.

01:24:43.000 Because I wouldn't be surprised if that chief, whoever that guy's boss is, throws him under the bus and reprimands him or even fires him for that, which was totally reasonable.

01:24:51.000 A little dramatic, but totally reasonable.

01:24:53.000 But the guy who called LeBron James to ask for advice, I think he was, if not fired, suspended.

01:25:00.000 So there's a GoFundMe for him.

01:25:02.000 Suspended without pay card.

01:25:04.000 You know what drives me nuts about that is the cops are doing jokes or ranting about something that bothers them.

01:25:09.000 That humanizes them.

01:25:10.000 The biggest problem with the way they're portrayed in the media is it's dehumanizing.

01:25:14.000 It makes them easier to kill.

01:25:16.000 And when we try to fix that by giving them a soul and saying, here, do a joke about LeBron.

01:25:21.000 No.

01:25:22.000 You have to stay a dark figure in the corner so I can kill you easier.

01:25:27.000 I thought I heard something about the GoFundMe being suspended.

01:25:31.000 Probably is.

01:25:32.000 If Paw Patrol can't get out.

01:25:35.000 What's that Chelsea Handler tweet you showed me?

01:25:38.000 Oh, yes, yes, yes.

01:25:41.000 This is your exact argument.

01:25:43.000 Oh, no.

01:25:44.000 Here he goes.

01:25:45.000 Why would any person of color ever comply with a police officer when there's a 50-50 shot of getting accidentally shot?

01:25:52.000 You probably should use the word chance there.

01:25:54.000 Don't double your words, Smith.

01:25:57.000 Which is what we keep screaming on the show.

01:25:59.000 When you push this lie that there's a 50-50 chance you're going to die, you make young black teenagers go, what the fuck, bitch, fuck this.

01:26:10.000 I ain't going hell like that.

01:26:12.000 And the next thing you know, they put everyone's life in jeopardy, the cop and themselves, because of bullshit like what Chelsea Handler's saying.

01:26:19.000 You know, it's weird is like, she's kind of been like, she's so liberal.

01:26:22.000 She's like circling around to saying things that you say.

01:26:25.000 Here's another one.

01:26:30.000 Aside from my cleanly, I don't like to interact with minorities.

01:26:32.000 I'm around them and it shows.

01:26:34.000 Shit.

01:26:35.000 There's this one.

01:26:35.000 I'm lonely and miserable because my ovaries are dried up, but I've spent my life as a colastomy bag for guys come.

01:26:40.000 Wait a minute.

01:26:42.000 I'm gay for men.

01:26:43.000 These are sounding like a lot of my talking points.

01:26:45.000 This one's kind of a stretch.

01:26:47.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:26:50.000 Chelsea, it's all one sentence, okay?

01:26:52.000 Come on, lady.

01:26:54.000 Whose fault it is that that's worded that way.

01:26:58.000 All right, we're having, we're running out of time here.

01:27:01.000 We don't want to.

01:27:02.000 We're done with this, right?

01:27:03.000 Well, let's see a little bit more.

01:27:05.000 Who are police officers?

01:27:06.000 And I say it's like a person who has family members.

01:27:10.000 Who are police officers?

01:27:12.000 Yes, I understand.

01:27:16.000 And this is what I believe.

01:27:17.000 This is my opinion.

01:27:18.000 And this is, you know, not popular to say, but I do support our police.

01:27:22.000 And we have bad people.

01:27:23.000 And the people that do bad things should be brought to justice.

01:27:26.000 I agree with that.

01:27:27.000 But I think that I'm saying it again.

01:27:31.000 They haven't.

01:27:32.000 Well, I agree with you on that point of they should, right?

01:27:37.000 Who?

01:27:37.000 This is school.

01:27:38.000 Like, you're supposed to have specific examples.

01:27:41.000 You have to do your homework in school.

01:27:44.000 Do you see the energy?

01:27:45.000 Tell me their names.

01:27:45.000 Tell me the cases.

01:27:46.000 Tell me the compare it to the number of interactions.

01:27:49.000 So I always forget this number.

01:27:51.000 We've got to write it on the fucking.

01:27:52.000 It's like a billion kajillion.

01:27:54.000 They have a billion kajillion run-ins, confrontations, interactions with the public every year.

01:28:00.000 So that has to be factored in, too.

01:28:02.000 Let's see you have a kabillion interactions with the public and not have any kind of trouble.

01:28:09.000 No one died.

01:28:09.000 Everything was cool.

01:28:10.000 I mean, it's the roll of the dice.

01:28:13.000 If you pet a kajillion dogs, you're probably going to get your hand bit once.

01:28:17.000 Yeah, and they make news out of every single police shooting with a black person, whether it's sketchy or just completely by the books anyway.

01:28:25.000 So we'd be hearing about every single one.

01:28:27.000 And right now, somebody's getting stopped who's black by a white cop.

01:28:30.000 Right now, news from rap songs is the problem here.

01:28:33.000 Do you get the energy here that she's like a defiant kid and he's like a calm parent?

01:28:37.000 He's like, honey, I know what you're saying.

01:28:39.000 That's what school is today.

01:28:40.000 That's how you have to talk to women because they've been so heavily bitchified.

01:28:43.000 Like he's making a point and then she's like, yeah, but what about this?

01:28:47.000 Like the way you talk to women now, especially in academia, is the way you talk to a child in the middle of a tantrum.

01:28:52.000 Like, I understand, but your friends have to go now because it's bedtime.

01:28:56.000 Okay?

01:28:56.000 But this isn't fair.

01:28:58.000 Actually, I wouldn't say that.

01:28:59.000 I'd say, calm down, stop the whining, change your attitude.

01:29:03.000 Okay?

01:29:03.000 This is not happening.

01:29:05.000 Get the fuck upstairs, you arrogant little prick.

01:29:07.000 That's how he should talk to her.

01:29:10.000 He should be like, you're just making up shit.

01:29:12.000 You're getting your facts from a rap song.

01:29:14.000 Give me cops.

01:29:15.000 Tell me names of guys who have shot people and not been punished for it.

01:29:19.000 Show me the list and show me how that compares to the general crime stats because it better be a disproportional number.

01:29:26.000 Do you know that word, you stupid cunt?

01:29:29.000 That'd be so good.

01:29:31.000 He'd get an F and he should.

01:29:33.000 Get fired.

01:29:34.000 Get in trouble.

01:29:35.000 Show's over.

01:29:36.000 Yeah.

01:29:38.000 And this is what I believe.

01:29:39.000 This is my opinion.

01:29:40.000 And this is, you know, not popular to say, but I do support our police.

01:29:45.000 We have bad people.

01:29:45.000 And the people that do bad things should be brought to justice.

01:29:48.000 I agree with that.

01:29:49.000 But I think that they haven't.

01:29:55.000 Well, I agree with you.

01:29:56.000 That's a pessimist.

01:29:57.000 They should, right?

01:29:58.000 So what is your bottom line point?

01:29:59.000 You're saying police officers should be revered, viewed as heroes.

01:30:03.000 Yes.

01:30:03.000 They go on on TV shows with children.

01:30:06.000 I think they are heroes in a sense because they come to your need and they come and help you and they have a problem just like every other business, but we should fix that.

01:30:15.000 But I think that they're heroes.

01:30:17.000 Semantics.

01:30:18.000 Well, that's not a business.

01:30:19.000 That's the problem is that you call it a business.

01:30:21.000 Yeah, you're just...

01:30:22.000 Oh, shut up.

01:30:23.000 My God.

01:30:24.000 Sorry, any other endeavor.

01:30:26.000 Unbelievable.

01:30:27.000 You know, I wonder she's so concerned about children and the purity of the...

01:30:30.000 Like, what's her view on the trans drag queen story time hour?

01:30:36.000 I'm sure she's pro for it.

01:30:37.000 Only some of the drag queens who do the story hour end up being sexual predators and pedophiles.

01:30:43.000 Right.

01:30:44.000 There's bad people in every business.

01:30:47.000 So true.

01:30:48.000 All right, let's jump over to the male B. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:30:56.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's male beauty since the last time.

01:31:09.000 A lot of males.

01:31:14.000 Wife's Reality Show Garbage.

01:31:16.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I'm recently married, and your advice to watch your wife's stupid reality show garbage to increase intimacy works.

01:31:22.000 I stole that from my old literary agent, Bird Levil, who said, you get a bottle of wine, you watch their show, and you comment on it.

01:31:34.000 I'd be like, Sandra's a bitch.

01:31:37.000 Boom.

01:31:39.000 The most recent show we watch is Indian Matchmaker, and it takes every ounce of my being not to turn the show off when girls like Aparna are opening their retarded mouths.

01:31:48.000 Girls like this remind me why I love being married, and that it is great not to have to go on dates with girls who are so feminist, independent, that it's just off-putting and revolting.

01:31:56.000 Cheers, Ben.

01:32:06.000 People care about sense of humor.

01:32:09.000 No wonder they're lively, jolly.

01:32:12.000 I don't have to be the funniest guy in the room.

01:32:14.000 I don't need that.

01:32:15.000 There's many a man I've rejected that hasn't fit what I want in my life partner.

01:32:20.000 Let's let's both stay where they like love football.

01:32:22.000 Oh my goodness.

01:32:23.000 You do you boo.

01:32:24.000 I'm never gonna watch a football game with you.

01:32:27.000 But in a way it was relieved because I was like, during the fall, I don't have to see you every Saturday or whatever day they play this Sunday.

01:32:35.000 Oh, that's her whole thing, huh?

01:32:38.000 Almost.

01:32:38.000 I feel like I've been there.

01:32:40.000 Yeah, you know what she is?

01:32:41.000 I've seen these a million times.

01:32:42.000 She's one of these perpetual dumpies who's constantly getting dumped and turfed.

01:32:47.000 And so they change it to the, they either say, I'm really picky, is one of their dumb lies.

01:32:52.000 And the other is, men are intimidated by me because I'm empowered and I'm intelligent and stuff.

01:32:56.000 Yeah, sure.

01:32:57.000 I don't even like chicks.

01:32:58.000 Chicks suck.

01:32:59.000 Yeah.

01:33:00.000 That's why we all had a coconut smashing boner when we were introduced to that prosecutor who is a successful lawyer and a nine.

01:33:09.000 Sudan or Suda.

01:33:11.000 Sudan?

01:33:12.000 I hate beaches.

01:33:13.000 Well, I hate bitches, so we've got a lot in common.

01:33:15.000 I haven't made me lay out a beach for more than like three hours.

01:33:19.000 Maybe three days.

01:33:20.000 This would be like a relaxing 10 days for you.

01:33:23.000 What would you do for 10 days?

01:33:24.000 I'm concerned if you have to relax for 10 days.

01:33:26.000 You know what I mean?

01:33:28.000 I'm like, what's wrong with you?

01:33:29.000 I've always, always wanted to go to Dubai.

01:33:31.000 Really?

01:33:32.000 Strange place to want to go?

01:33:34.000 Really?

01:33:34.000 Like, it seems like so developed and so.

01:33:36.000 Why are Indians dating?

01:33:39.000 What do you mean?

01:33:39.000 Isn't that kind of raw?

01:33:40.000 Oh, yeah, that's right.

01:33:42.000 Like, why are you isolating one race?

01:33:45.000 What if...

01:33:46.000 Can we watch the white dating show?

01:33:48.000 Is that on next?

01:33:49.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:33:52.000 Hi, it's called Whites Only, and it's a show where white people date whites and make sure that no other races show up on their fucking dates because they think the other races are gross.

01:34:04.000 It's strange because we kind of do live in a racist America, but it's not the kind of racism they claim.

01:34:08.000 Whoa, look at those big fucking dates.

01:34:12.000 Fucking dirt.

01:34:14.000 Did he ever tell you off-air what that is?

01:34:16.000 Not to ask you what it is, but did he ever tell you?

01:34:19.000 No?

01:34:19.000 Okay.

01:34:20.000 I'll never tell.

01:34:21.000 It's a secret.

01:34:22.000 Apparently, this is a picture of the head of the World Economic Forum.

01:34:26.000 This is from the Daily Anus.

01:34:28.000 Uh, I don't believe you.

01:34:30.000 Neither do I. Let's...

01:34:34.000 Surely you could include a link?

01:34:37.000 Not save for work question mark.

01:34:39.000 Klaus Schwab.

01:34:42.000 So now let's go Klaus Schwab.

01:34:48.000 Schwab beach lingerie, what'd you call that?

01:34:56.000 Uh, nothing.

01:34:58.000 So, thanks for wasting our time.

01:35:00.000 Wait, what was this?

01:35:05.000 Let me make sure it's not gross.

01:35:09.000 Close 12 goes to the beach.

01:35:11.000 There's a reason this sub is NSFW.

01:35:15.000 Yeah, that's.

01:35:16.000 We don't know.

01:35:17.000 This is not evidence.

01:35:19.000 Um, lads, I thought these would make some cool.

01:35:22.000 Oh, no, sorry, we already did that one.

01:35:24.000 Uh, dear Ryan, please check this out.

01:35:29.000 This video is three minutes, so for the sake of showing, no, no, no, this is a guy who claims he was raped by a bear.

01:35:33.000 It's the oldest fucking viral video ever.

01:35:36.000 Oh, my God, yes, sir.

01:35:37.000 Uh, President Biden is loosely based on Steve Bruhl.

01:35:40.000 It's a four-year segment, this kind of shit.

01:35:42.000 We're familiar with Steve Bruhl.

01:35:43.000 Thanks for all the introducing us to all this cool shit we never heard of.

01:35:47.000 Yeah.

01:35:48.000 Like Steve Bruhl.

01:35:49.000 This guacamole.

01:35:51.000 Found a new sponsor for your show, says this guy.

01:35:55.000 And it is a John Deere car.

01:36:01.000 Well, that's pretty fucking great.

01:36:07.000 That's just, I guess, the best guy in the world.

01:36:16.000 Hello, Marca.

01:36:17.000 Y'all check out my new lawnmower.

01:36:19.000 Now, this ain't no regular lawnmower, okay?

01:36:21.000 This is a Ron Bear.

01:36:23.000 And you know what they say?

01:36:24.000 Nothing runs through you like a beer.

01:36:27.000 Well, how do you wear him?

01:36:28.000 He's literally a redneck.

01:36:30.000 And I got tired of having to swamp butt every time I cut the grass.

01:36:33.000 I wanted something more luxurious.

01:36:35.000 So I went and got me a Ron Bear.

01:36:41.000 Now I know y'all probably curious about what kind of power plant I got in this luxurious cutting machine.

01:36:46.000 This is a Briggs and Stratton 600cc motor.

01:36:50.000 This guy's blood type is WWF.

01:36:52.000 I'm telling you right now, if I was to turn this motor up full, probably all right.

01:37:02.000 So we genetically modified wolves, he says, not wolves, okay, to be hilarious furballs so that my daughter can try to ride it like a pony and not worry about her getting her face torn off.

01:37:12.000 Human ingenuity at its finest, if you ask me, plus to lick peanut butter off your nuts when the wife is away without you having to worry your nuts torn off.

01:37:18.000 Why you got to be such a killjoy about dogs?

01:37:20.000 I don't know.

01:37:21.000 They're stupid.

01:37:24.000 Gavin, it's pronounced Wah-Gu.

01:37:27.000 Wagu.

01:37:28.000 Dude, every time you say it wrong, my ears bleed.

01:37:30.000 Tokyo Joe.

01:37:31.000 Wagyu?

01:37:32.000 Wah-wah?

01:37:33.000 Yeah, like wah.

01:37:34.000 But he says W-A-H.

01:37:37.000 That could be wah or wah.

01:37:38.000 It could be wah, actually, yeah.

01:37:40.000 Wagyu.

01:37:41.000 Wagyu.

01:37:44.000 At the very least, the sprinkle relative relative to his industry competition.

01:37:56.000 Hey, put this motherfucker in park.

01:37:58.000 Hey, who needs an eating when you got an Audi?

01:38:00.000 Check out this bad motherfucker.

01:38:02.000 19 Model Q8, 19,000 miles, all-wheel drive.

01:38:06.000 I don't know if it's got one turbo, too.

01:38:08.000 Quite frankly, I don't give a flying fuck.

01:38:10.000 You talk about a show-stopping pussy-popping dick-driving son of a bitch who you go right here.

01:38:14.000 You look inside there.

01:38:16.000 It's got so much technological fancy shit.

01:38:18.000 I don't even know what's what.

01:38:20.000 Backup camera, front camera.

01:38:22.000 This whole fucking shit right here is a scream.

01:38:24.000 I'll be honest with you, I was gonna price it, but you know what?

01:38:27.000 I think old daddy's gonna keep this one.

01:38:29.000 Suck my ass.

01:38:29.000 1625 South Main Street.

01:38:31.000 Give us a call.

01:38:31.000 8772896.

01:38:33.000 Damn it, Slipper.

01:38:35.000 So he owns a fucking...

01:38:37.000 That's his promo.

01:38:38.000 Quality.

01:38:39.000 Speaking of sprinkles, check out I'm Afraid of My Own Scream.

01:38:44.000 It's pretty old news, but I just saw it the other day and I thought, this is insanely high-quality humor.

01:38:53.000 I just ruined it by being so clinical.

01:38:55.000 I'm Cornelius.

01:38:56.000 I live in North Carolina, and I'm afraid of my own scream.

01:39:07.000 That's good.

01:39:08.000 That's sprinkles.

01:39:13.000 Probably an ancient Chinese secret, but curious about your opinion on the Trump reference in this vid.

01:39:17.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.

01:39:19.000 Yeah.

01:39:21.000 Yeah.

01:39:22.000 I got to watch the whole vid now?

01:39:25.000 Let me guess.

01:39:26.000 His head blows up.

01:39:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:37.000 We're playing Wall Street, okay.

01:39:44.000 So, what are you doing?

01:39:46.000 Are you anti-Wall Street?

01:39:53.000 That'd be funny if the cops went to arrest them and then they just started going.

01:39:56.000 It's actually pretty good.

01:40:05.000 Lagtown.

01:40:09.000 I love how Rage Against the Machine are exactly on par with Nike, Best Buy, maybe not Walmart, but most major corporations and Rage Against the Machine have aligned.

01:40:22.000 So you can't Rage Against the Machine because the machine is screaming Black Lives Matter and wokeness and trans and all your stupid shit.

01:40:31.000 So now you're just stuck hating Wall Street.

01:40:34.000 What does that mean?

01:40:35.000 So Wall Street is a place where businesses that have gone public say, hey, Censore.tv is, we're selling a certain percentage of our shares.

01:40:44.000 Can you invest in us?

01:40:45.000 And then when we make more profit, we'll pay you back.

01:40:47.000 That's how economies work.

01:40:49.000 Sounds good.

01:40:50.000 No!

01:40:51.000 Okay.

01:40:52.000 How do I get invest?

01:40:53.000 Can I get investors?

01:40:54.000 I just won't do it on Wall Street.

01:40:56.000 Can I go to Indiana and ask to try to sell equity to censored.tv?

01:41:01.000 Is that allowed?

01:41:03.000 You don't even know what you want.

01:41:04.000 You're just like, money, greed.

01:41:06.000 Yeah, it's bad.

01:41:10.000 Money's bad.

01:41:11.000 Meanwhile, fuckface was born and raised in the nicest, richest suburb Chicago has to offer.

01:41:18.000 Hey, G-Mang and Barack O'Rion.

01:41:20.000 Firstly, thanks for being the only consistent thing since the lockdown started.

01:41:23.000 I always look forward to your show, so thank you for that.

01:41:26.000 By the way, we had some people complaining that they're getting an hour less of G-O-M-L now that we're doing Wednesdays with Anthony.

01:41:32.000 Fuck you.

01:41:35.000 And when you signed up for this, you were getting like an hour, 45 minutes to an hour of Get Off My Lawn.

01:41:40.000 Now they're getting closer to two hours.

01:41:42.000 Yeah, wait, that's not true.

01:41:43.000 Yeah, the math doesn't add up there.

01:41:44.000 So you're still ahead.

01:41:45.000 Because it's like two, four, six, seven hours a week.

01:41:49.000 And it used to be five.

01:41:52.000 A typical show is around an hour 20, so they're missing 20 minutes if you were to break it down like that.

01:41:57.000 Because the live show is still two hours.

01:41:59.000 No, our typical shows these days have been two hours.

01:42:02.000 Yeah, yeah, but the shortest it'll ever be is like 120.

01:42:04.000 All right, let's not talk about this anymore.

01:42:06.000 Let me fuck you with my Essex.

01:42:07.000 Plus we do extra stuff.

01:42:08.000 Plus we have 900 million other shows.

01:42:11.000 And you can complain that you don't watch Wayne Dupree or Copper Cab, but I gave you a lot to choose from, and there's more coming.

01:42:19.000 So no complaining allowed.

01:42:20.000 Thanks.

01:42:22.000 Secondly, one of your best videos, in my opinion, was for Rebel when you were chirping Lindsay Lowen for being so hungover she turned Muslim.

01:42:28.000 What a great video that was.

01:42:29.000 I can't seem to find anymore on YouTube.

01:42:30.000 That was always my go-to video when I was looking for a laugh.

01:42:33.000 Anyways, gents, take care and all the best.

01:42:36.000 P.S. Mets looking decent this year.

01:42:38.000 Might be a dark horse.

01:42:40.000 Sorry, horse of color.

01:42:41.000 For the World Series.

01:42:43.000 I like to hear that.

01:42:44.000 And this was sent yesterday at 9.08 p.m. before they turned around that game with the Phillies.

01:42:52.000 You know something spooky?

01:42:54.000 Speaking?

01:42:55.000 The previous game, Conforto got a home run that won the game.

01:42:58.000 And I was calling my dad to tell him about my son's home run and sitting at the bar watching the game.

01:43:04.000 As I was describing my son's home run, Confordo hit his home run.

01:43:08.000 Speaking.

01:43:15.000 You never know.

01:43:25.000 And this one is eating the poop all over the place.

01:43:31.000 I'm gonna come.

01:43:36.000 He looks like a fucking hooker.

01:43:44.000 I hate this fucking shit.

01:43:47.000 I thought I was gonna make it crack with one of those.

01:43:50.000 Fuck.

01:43:50.000 Are you crazy, motherfucker?

01:43:52.000 I ain't cracked for sheet.

01:43:53.000 Hey, G-Dog, what was it?

01:43:55.000 Hey, G-Dog, when was the last time you actually pissed in public?

01:43:58.000 Have you come up with any new methods?

01:44:00.000 Uh, Sort of.

01:44:02.000 I pissed in public at my kids' baseball game several times over the weekend.

01:44:06.000 My life is baseball, baseball, baseball.

01:44:09.000 I'm not even that much of a jock.

01:44:11.000 But what you do is you have your dick.

01:44:16.000 I'll use my finger for my dick.

01:44:20.000 So your dick is sticking out here, right?

01:44:22.000 Now you want to go piss.

01:44:25.000 You want to go piss, but there is a chance that some kid could be coming up over the hill or something and see you and see your penis.

01:44:32.000 Now you're already on the phone.

01:44:33.000 You want to be on the phone when you're pissing because that keeps the eyes up here.

01:44:36.000 So one hand is on the phone and the other hand holds the dick like this and then shoots it out.

01:44:46.000 That was too much of indecence.

01:44:48.000 So you see there the penis, that's the penis.

01:44:50.000 So even if someone were to walk up right up to you, they wouldn't see the dick because it's being held like a fist like this.

01:44:56.000 Yes, I've done that.

01:44:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:44:59.000 So that wasn't in my video.

01:45:01.000 That's a more recent technique.

01:45:03.000 Dakota, isn't that a girl's name?

01:45:07.000 Why would a woman be asking me about my peeing habits?

01:45:12.000 Gavin, oh, you're a connoisseur of fart humor.

01:45:13.000 This video made me laugh for a few minutes.

01:45:15.000 Hope you and Rai enjoy.

01:45:17.000 Let's see some farting.

01:45:18.000 This was featured on Josh LaCash's new show, Wrong Opinion Live.

01:45:25.000 So we've already seen this on the La Cash show.

01:45:28.000 Yeah.

01:45:29.000 Should we pause it?

01:45:31.000 So it's a teaser.

01:45:32.000 Oh, that's a good idea, yeah.

01:45:33.000 You can check out that video on Josh LaCash's new hit, Wrong Opinions.

01:45:37.000 Every time I see that name, I think of that Jane's Addiction song, Everybody Has Their Own Opinion.

01:45:43.000 Not bad.

01:45:44.000 All right, last one.

01:45:47.000 Oh, wait.

01:45:49.000 From a guy named Steve, Straight Fire.

01:45:51.000 Holy Shittolla, that is a great get.

01:45:52.000 Sent from iPhone.

01:45:54.000 Hmm.

01:45:55.000 Huh.

01:45:56.000 Pretty cool.

01:45:58.000 By the way, Josh's take on this was pretty cool.

01:46:02.000 Same thing.

01:46:03.000 And it is.

01:46:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:46:05.000 The being there.

01:46:08.000 So that's a good reference, not like the Steve Broll one.

01:46:12.000 Right.

01:46:12.000 Well, we did a whole episode on being there, if you recall.

01:46:15.000 Hell yeah.

01:46:16.000 Hey, Gav and Grinder Aficionado.

01:46:19.000 I'm thinking about moving to a gentrifying neighborhood.

01:46:21.000 Yesterday afternoon, I was walking around showing my mom the area via FaceTime.

01:46:24.000 Out of nowhere, this black guy runs up behind me and accuses me of recording women.

01:46:29.000 He's yelling loudly, demanding that I delete the videos and threatening to take me out.

01:46:33.000 Frankly, I thought he was going to snatch my phone, so I put it down to my side.

01:46:36.000 Luckily, a few bystanders who were watching helped defuse the situation.

01:46:39.000 I'm a gay, by the way, and don't deal with that kind of confrontation.

01:46:42.000 So I pretty much froze and just tried to explain the truth to him, but it's hard to calm him down.

01:46:47.000 Well, gay man, I'm afraid the best scenario, the best way to deal with scenarios like this is to scream.

01:46:56.000 Not like, ah, help it.

01:46:57.000 What are you talking about?

01:46:58.000 Get back.

01:46:59.000 Don't touch me.

01:47:00.000 Don't fucking touch me.

01:47:02.000 Get back.

01:47:03.000 Get back.

01:47:03.000 What's your problem?

01:47:04.000 I wasn't filming shit, idiot.

01:47:06.000 I'm filming this neighborhood.

01:47:08.000 You need to calm down.

01:47:09.000 You gotta fight aggression with aggression.

01:47:11.000 Because if you just start going, then the wolf smells fear and that makes him snarl harder and come closer.

01:47:18.000 Like with aggressive people, they're like dogs.

01:47:20.000 You gotta bark them back.

01:47:22.000 Get back.

01:47:24.000 Hot shit.

01:47:26.000 He didn't seem necessarily crazy, just highly aggressive and irrational.

01:47:30.000 It was like a clash of cultures.

01:47:32.000 Passive and apologetic white guy walking down the street talking to his mom versus domineering and belligerent black man irrationally accusing someone of recording women.

01:47:39.000 That probably sounds racist, but I just want to be proven wrong about certain patterns of their behavior.

01:47:43.000 I really do.

01:47:44.000 I've definitely learned my lesson not to use FaceTime in public anymore.

01:47:47.000 I guess it quote unquote upsets them.

01:47:50.000 Sounds like he's talking about dinosaurs or something.

01:47:52.000 A few weeks ago, I saw a similar situation between a black woman on a street corner who was screaming at a white guy holding a phone.

01:47:58.000 Any advice on how to deal with their behavior?

01:48:00.000 And yeah, I just covered that.

01:48:02.000 Fight fire with fire.

01:48:03.000 Don't take any shit from anyone.

01:48:07.000 It's like he wasn't listening.

01:48:13.000 Brody Dale, what do you think of Brody Dale?

01:48:15.000 I don't think of Brody Dale.

01:48:18.000 What's...

01:48:24.000 Am I supposed to?

01:48:26.000 Oh, okay, that's...

01:48:27.000 What's taking you so long?

01:48:39.000 Roaring Rock.

01:48:41.000 Who is that?

01:48:41.000 You don't know who that is, dude.

01:48:42.000 Yeah, she was in the...

01:48:43.000 She's a punky chick.

01:48:44.000 She was in the...

01:48:46.000 Whatchamacalls?

01:48:47.000 She used to have Cone Spikes.

01:48:48.000 She dated Tim Armstrong for Manced.

01:48:50.000 What were they called again?

01:48:51.000 Divinyls, Disorder.

01:48:53.000 The fucking...

01:48:55.000 Fuggin.

01:48:57.000 What were they called?

01:48:58.000 That's my name.

01:49:00.000 Distillers.

01:49:01.000 Distillers, that's it.

01:49:02.000 I know one of their songs.

01:49:04.000 A Fellas Found a Possible New Audio Drop.

01:49:07.000 All right, this will be our last letter.

01:49:08.000 This better be good.

01:49:12.000 Women aren't funny.

01:49:16.000 Dude, why are you watching children's cartoons?

01:49:20.000 Like, how did you come across that?

01:49:22.000 Oh, that's not a children's cartoon.

01:49:23.000 There's blood and violence in there.

01:49:25.000 That's got to be for adults, you see.

01:49:29.000 There's no such thing as superhero comics for adults.

01:49:34.000 I hate superhero comics.

01:49:35.000 I hate that people are looking at muscles.

01:49:39.000 So much of it is just muscles, muscles, muscles.

01:49:42.000 And the artists are sitting there drawing muscles all day and getting the abs just perfect.

01:49:48.000 It's not even gay.

01:49:50.000 I wish it was gay.

01:49:55.000 All right, let's get to the final video.

01:49:58.000 Yeah.

01:50:13.000 Homeboys get my like.

01:50:14.000 Get it.

01:50:16.000 Did you do that on purpose?

01:50:18.000 Let's do 4-3.

01:50:19.000 So casting agents are often gay and they often require sexual favors.

01:50:27.000 And I think a lot of people, especially when they're Handsome young men, you will find that they have to do sexual favors.

01:50:34.000 Even Scary Perry of Windy City Heat, he allowed a casting agent, I think his name was Callahan, Randy Callahan, something like that.

01:50:43.000 He allowed the casting agent to blow him in order to get a role as an extra in a movie.

01:50:50.000 And that sucks.

01:50:51.000 It's prostitution.

01:50:52.000 It's not cool when it happens to women, and it's not cool when it happens to men.

01:50:56.000 But what is cool is when a woman on a British talk show is open and honest about this sexual assault that men receive and how much gay sex they're forced to perform to get a role.

01:51:09.000 And she's open and honest about it on a talk show.

01:51:14.000 This is you as an all-American and a big opportunity for you in Hollywood.

01:51:20.000 You must have had to beat off a lot of American men to get this part.

01:51:27.000 Why does that make you giggle?

01:51:29.000 Did you not have to beat them off?

01:51:32.000 To get the role, there was imagine there was quite a few men up for the role as well.

01:51:36.000 There were?

01:51:36.000 There were.

01:51:40.000 And compose yourself.

01:51:43.000 This is you as normal American.

01:51:46.000 It's great to see some honesty, is it not?

01:51:51.000 Why can't he say anything?

01:51:52.000 I don't know.

01:51:53.000 Why can't he go?

01:51:54.000 That means masturbating.

01:51:56.000 You're not familiar with American vernacular, so you just said something incredibly silly.

01:52:00.000 Katie Hopkins could say something.

01:52:02.000 She comes from a different era, though.

01:52:04.000 That's ultimately my goal here with free speeches.

01:52:06.000 I'm just being selfish.

01:52:08.000 I just want laughs again.

01:52:09.000 I just want to be able to be honest with people and say, what's that on your nose?

01:52:13.000 Like, even if, you know, you meet someone who's got like a weird hand where it's not a hand.

01:52:19.000 It's just like a little noodle.

01:52:20.000 And you should be able to go, I know you get this a lot.

01:52:23.000 What's going on with your hand there?

01:52:25.000 Now, you don't overdo it.

01:52:26.000 Like, don't go up to tall people and ask them how fucking tall they are.

01:52:29.000 And if they play basketball.

01:52:30.000 Okay.

01:52:31.000 And anyone who's remotely ethnically ambiguous, don't say where you're from, what's your ethnic heritage.

01:52:36.000 That's boring.

01:52:37.000 But if it's been a couple times and someone has a fucked up, you know, stub or a lobster claw, you should be able to say, was that thalidomide?

01:52:45.000 Do you mind if I ask?

01:52:46.000 You know, get it out of the way.

01:52:48.000 If you're talking to someone who's topless or has huge tits, you should say, Jesus, you have huge tits.

01:52:54.000 That's a joke I like to do too with someone with huge tits.

01:52:56.000 Like, let's get this out of the way.

01:52:57.000 I'm going to have a quick look and then we can move on.

01:52:59.000 Whoa.

01:53:00.000 Or this is another good joke you do where you go, okay, so can I get another Budweiser?

01:53:05.000 And you pretend you're, you know, hiding the tits.

01:53:06.000 You know, you want to be able to joke around.

01:53:08.000 That's the beauty of American freedom.

01:53:10.000 I used to work, ironically, at a Canadian company called Rebel, and they had no HR at the time.

01:53:16.000 So you could pinch a girl's ass.

01:53:17.000 You know what we did with that freedom?

01:53:19.000 You know how badly we abused it?

01:53:21.000 I did this joke where I pretended my belt didn't work and I would walk down and my pants would fall down.

01:53:25.000 I'd go, oh, god damn it, pretend I was embarrassed.

01:53:27.000 Always got a laugh 100% of the time because I was very Chris Farley slapstick about it.

01:53:32.000 That's what people do with freedom.

01:53:35.000 That's what Westerners do with freedom.

01:53:36.000 We don't abuse it.

01:53:38.000 We enjoy it.

01:53:39.000 And that's why we fought so hard to get this freedom because we know we're safe with it.

01:53:44.000 And the fact that you're taking it away is sending us back in time to an era when we couldn't be trusted, where we would burn witches at the stake or kill gays.

01:53:55.000 You're making us into Arabs, basically.

01:53:57.000 And that's not who we are.

01:53:58.000 We're freedom-loving people.

01:54:00.000 We love to call it as it is, call it like we see it and be honest because being honest is not just fun, it's funny.

01:54:09.000 So stop telling us what to do.

01:54:11.000 Stop trying to make us woke.

01:54:12.000 Stop lying to us with fake statistics about how awful this country is because we're in it.

01:54:17.000 We walk outside and we see it and we love it.

01:54:20.000 And we want to be free.

01:54:22.000 We want to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by the man.

01:54:26.000 And we want to get loaded.

01:54:28.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 03, 2021

S03E105 - INTOXICATED EFFORT

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript