Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E114

00:00:42.000 That is such a Black Sabbath rip-off.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, even the tone.

00:00:46.000 What's the Black Sabbath song I'm thinking of, though?

00:00:48.000 Down, down, now.

00:00:49.000 Danny, down, down.

00:00:51.000 Snowblood.

00:00:52.000 Snowblood?

00:00:56.000 The guitars are exactly the same.

00:01:00.000 Now that's Rush's epitome debut.

00:01:05.000 Rush, obviously, that's what epitomis means.

00:01:07.000 Self-titled.

00:01:09.000 And Black Sabbath's epitomous debut, I think, was 69?

00:01:14.000 69!

00:01:16.000 So, yeah, Volume 4 was like their fifth album, I believe.

00:01:21.000 That would be like 1973.

00:01:24.000 All these bands you love, all their hits were in the first five years.

00:01:27.000 Like the Rolling Stones, Satisfaction, all those great jams.

00:01:31.000 That was all like day one.

00:01:36.000 Yes.

00:01:48.000 It's close.

00:01:49.000 It's fucking close.

00:01:50.000 The tone is really surprisingly close.

00:01:54.000 Whatever, though.

00:01:55.000 It's an homage.

00:01:57.000 You were in Canada.

00:01:58.000 They were in Britain, 3,000 miles away.

00:02:01.000 We didn't have the same kind of availability to music that we have now.

00:02:05.000 Like, they say that about Led Zeppelin ripping off Burt Janch, that it was more like, oh, I can play that same song Burt Janch can play.

00:02:13.000 Almost like a sample.

00:02:16.000 Because most people just played covers back in the 50s and even the 60s.

00:02:21.000 The Beatles, the only reason the Beatles started writing songs was because everyone else was playing covers, and so they'd get on stage, and the opening band had already played all their songs.

00:02:31.000 And they thought, well, that's gay.

00:02:34.000 So they changed it.

00:02:37.000 I was considering playing this song.

00:02:39.000 It's the biggest song in Peru right now.

00:02:42.000 In fact, there's special dances dedicated to it.

00:02:45.000 It is a cover of Hotel California by a popular singer there from, who's never not been popular in Peru named Tongo.

00:02:54.000 He's a very unattractive abo.

00:02:56.000 There he is.

00:03:06.000 Hit it.

00:03:07.000 Oh, wait.

00:03:09.000 He's not kidding.

00:03:14.000 I love the shitty camera work.

00:03:16.000 An iPhone would do a better job.

00:03:18.000 Just use your iPhone.

00:03:22.000 Oh, he's in New York City because his song is about New York City.

00:03:27.000 The quintessential American place to go.

00:03:45.000 That's your top saying for half a century.

00:03:50.000 No more.

00:04:13.000 Anyway, he's a popular kind of activist.

00:04:15.000 It seems like in every Central American, South American country, there's just two groups.

00:04:20.000 There's the conquistadors who are the whites, and then there's the Aztecs who are the little midgets.

00:04:25.000 And we don't really differentiate here in America.

00:04:28.000 We're just like, oh, that's someone Gonzalez.

00:04:31.000 So he's Hispanic.

00:04:33.000 Meanwhile, he could be from Spain and he had nannies wiping his ass his whole life.

00:04:38.000 But they differentiate like crazy.

00:04:40.000 And they say, we're the underclass and you abuse us.

00:04:45.000 And we need rights.

00:04:46.000 So that was his big claim to fame is that he was pro, you know, little guy.

00:04:51.000 Underdog.

00:04:52.000 Tiny man.

00:04:55.000 I went to a Puerto Rican barbecue yesterday.

00:04:58.000 How was that?

00:04:59.000 It was interesting because there was some, there was probably about 10 white people and 30 Puerto Ricans.

00:05:05.000 And there was obviously mingling back and forth.

00:05:07.000 But eventually, just like French and English people in Montreal at a party, you segregate.

00:05:14.000 You separate.

00:05:15.000 Different jokes, different languages, different culture.

00:05:18.000 All the women got up and did a dance.

00:05:21.000 Weird little dance.

00:05:24.000 That was attractive.

00:05:25.000 We all enjoyed it.

00:05:26.000 It's not like people were going, oh, there they go doing the dance.

00:05:29.000 All the kids played together, which was interesting, right?

00:05:31.000 They were all as one playing wiffle ball.

00:05:36.000 But yeah, inevitably, different jokes, different cultures.

00:05:40.000 You're all there together as a group, but you're not really...

00:05:44.000 It's like New York City, right?

00:05:46.000 The whole myth of like, we all get together on the subway, as the beastie boys said.

00:05:50.000 No, not really.

00:05:51.000 Businessmen hang out with businessmen.

00:05:52.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 It's not like we're all, yo, what's up, Rico?

00:05:53.000 Saters hanging out.

00:05:57.000 I mean, do you know that many Puerto Ricans?

00:06:00.000 No, my family, but that's it, really.

00:06:00.000 No, really.

00:06:02.000 Right, because your family moved from the Bronx, and then there's not that many Puerto Ricans upstate.

00:06:07.000 No, not really.

00:06:09.000 Not a lot of Puerto Rican Japanese either.

00:06:12.000 But then again, a lot of people from the city move upstate to where I was living because that's like far from the city, but it's like moving up, like moving up too much.

00:06:12.000 No, no, no.

00:06:21.000 Well, it's also affordable.

00:06:23.000 It's a far upstream.

00:06:24.000 Like where Alexandra Oquez-Cortez go.

00:06:27.000 Well, she was in Westchester, right?

00:06:28.000 Yeah, I see.

00:06:29.000 Right, right, right.

00:06:30.000 But yeah, there's different areas.

00:06:32.000 Even upstate, there's like segregated areas.

00:06:34.000 There's black neighborhoods.

00:06:35.000 Yeah, Oh, yeah.

00:06:36.000 Isn't Newberg black?

00:06:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:39.000 Real.

00:06:39.000 You know, a good white hack.

00:06:42.000 You go to the antique shops in Newberg, and the blacks don't care about mid-century modern furniture, so you get way better deals.

00:06:48.000 It's a great problem.

00:06:48.000 And there's no fags there.

00:06:50.000 Fags will empty out any antique store within seconds.

00:06:53.000 They're locusts.

00:06:56.000 They will devour all the deals.

00:06:58.000 Same with black Americana.

00:07:00.000 I wanted to start collecting like little jigaboo cookie jars.

00:07:07.000 But people like Spike Lee and Whoopi Goldberg have just devoured that market, and you're not getting anything for under $1,000.

00:07:16.000 Can't collect it.

00:07:17.000 Rich Blacks ruined it.

00:07:18.000 What would you call that type of stuff?

00:07:20.000 Black Americana, it's called.

00:07:22.000 Black Americana.

00:07:22.000 And it is pricey price soprana.

00:07:27.000 New York Post today, I really just bring you this to show you that these shows are live.

00:07:33.000 City Squeegees are back.

00:07:34.000 There's some other stories, but as I promised last time, I'll just incorporate them into the thing.

00:07:39.000 We've got a green screen on Cuck Buddies today.

00:07:44.000 And we've got Ryan's trip to North Carolina.

00:07:48.000 We'll get to that in a second, but I've got to do the book.

00:07:52.000 Here's a fun book, very well researched.

00:07:54.000 Michael Booth went all over Scandinavia to investigate the almost nearly perfect people.

00:08:00.000 And he's really debunking the mythical claims that Northern Europe's better than us and everything they do is awesome and the Danes are way happier than us.

00:08:09.000 Well, sort of.

00:08:10.000 You asked them when they're drunk.

00:08:12.000 They have a different definition of happiness and they've just come out of generations of hell.

00:08:18.000 So sure, they're happier.

00:08:20.000 And how successful socialism is when it's really just spending their parents' money.

00:08:26.000 Their credit card debts are through the roof.

00:08:28.000 Their bills are insane.

00:08:30.000 The cost of living is mental.

00:08:32.000 So basically, this is a book you need to read.

00:08:37.000 So when people brag about socialism and you say, well, Cuba sucks and China sucks and the Soviet Union sucks.

00:08:43.000 And they go, no, no, no.

00:08:44.000 I'm talking about Northern Europe.

00:08:45.000 Not the top 1%.

00:08:48.000 When they get Bernie Bros on you.

00:08:49.000 This book is Bernie Bro kryptonite.

00:08:52.000 And it basically explains that things are not as rosy as they seem.

00:08:55.000 Is there a fun little YouTube video for it?

00:08:59.000 You should do that.

00:09:00.000 If you're writing a book, you've got to make a trailer.

00:09:03.000 They don't do that anymore, do they?

00:09:04.000 I don't think I even did that.

00:09:06.000 I made a movie for How to Piss in Public where I pretended it gave women orgasms.

00:09:10.000 And I was going up to women on Bryant Park in Midtown and having them read a paragraph, and then they would come.

00:09:17.000 It got taken down.

00:09:18.000 There's a book review.

00:09:19.000 There's a summary.

00:09:20.000 Let's see a summary.

00:09:23.000 Oh, there's one by Michael Booth.

00:09:24.000 I just saw it too.

00:09:25.000 Summary of The Almost Nearly Perfect People by Michael Booth.

00:09:30.000 Written by Alyssa Burnett and Quick Read.

00:09:32.000 Narrated by Alex Smith.

00:09:37.000 Introduction.

00:09:38.000 Terrible.

00:09:39.000 Scandinavia has been considered Frager U graphics.

00:09:46.000 I traveled, as I said, repeatedly to all five countries.

00:09:48.000 Sorry, I'm trying to entertain people.

00:09:49.000 We can't bore them with that kind of shit.

00:09:51.000 Bad move, Booth.

00:09:53.000 You should have had a fun little quirky boop boop boop.

00:09:57.000 This was the thing that you saw there, though, this is some problems that they have.

00:10:01.000 High taxes, high personal debt.

00:10:03.000 Did I tell you I made a bet about these Puerto Ricans?

00:10:06.000 One of the girls, she's my friend's daughter, and she's about 30, 28, and she's dating a guy who's 60.

00:10:15.000 At least.

00:10:16.000 He's bald.

00:10:18.000 Bruh.

00:10:20.000 Wow, great video drop, Ryan.

00:10:22.000 Bruh.

00:10:23.000 Is that what you were trying to do?

00:10:25.000 The kids know what that is.

00:10:26.000 Bruh.

00:10:28.000 What?

00:10:28.000 It's like a meme.

00:10:33.000 Okay, that's a kid thing.

00:10:34.000 I'm too old to understand.

00:10:35.000 That's why we hire young people on the show so they can.

00:10:37.000 I'm also too old for that.

00:10:38.000 The cool kid stuff.

00:10:42.000 But I go, yeah, she's there with her grandfather.

00:10:45.000 And my buddy Rob goes, that's not her grandfather.

00:10:48.000 And I go, it clearly is.

00:10:49.000 And I've been calling him Papi.

00:10:52.000 And he smokes a cigar.

00:10:53.000 And every time I call him Pappy, he'd be like.

00:10:56.000 And I thought, have I got your culture wrong?

00:10:59.000 I'm pretty sure the grandfather, the patriarch of the entire family is Pappy.

00:11:06.000 And kids are Papi, too.

00:11:07.000 Like when her son's playing baseball, that's how we know them through baseball.

00:11:10.000 They're clapping, come on, Papi.

00:11:13.000 Yep.

00:11:15.000 But he would give me this weird look.

00:11:18.000 And basically, in this context, it's the equivalent of Gramps.

00:11:21.000 Thanks, Gramps.

00:11:24.000 And I should have known that something was up because it's not her grandfather, it's her boyfriend, which I told you at the beginning, right?

00:11:31.000 The bird, which is the bald eagle.

00:11:34.000 And so I go, okay, you win.

00:11:36.000 I think I bet him 20 bucks.

00:11:37.000 He goes, I don't want money.

00:11:39.000 And I go, okay, what do you want?

00:11:40.000 And he goes, when I say now, you have to walk over to your wife, could be in 10 minutes, could be in a year, and you have to lick her entire face and then walk away.

00:11:52.000 And you can't tell her why you did it.

00:11:54.000 And I said, okay, deal.

00:11:56.000 So I'm now living under the sword of Nowacles.

00:11:59.000 Still hasn't happened.

00:12:00.000 Still hasn't happened.

00:12:01.000 No, that story is very, very old.

00:12:04.000 But he was there that night.

00:12:06.000 And they were playing basketball.

00:12:08.000 We were all outside, of course.

00:12:09.000 And he must have got hit in the head with the basketball like 20 times.

00:12:12.000 It knocked his cigar out of his face.

00:12:14.000 Because the basketball hoop was near where we were sitting.

00:12:17.000 But we were agile enough to go, whoa, that was close.

00:12:20.000 But he was just bonk, boom.

00:12:29.000 Well, how was the food?

00:12:31.000 Amazing.

00:12:32.000 Rice, chicken.

00:12:32.000 Right?

00:12:34.000 How about that pork?

00:12:35.000 Did they have that pork?

00:12:35.000 They had pork in the rice, little squares of pork.

00:12:37.000 Is that what you're supposed to do?

00:12:38.000 That was good.

00:12:39.000 Yeah, that was good.

00:12:40.000 Then lots of dessert.

00:12:43.000 I think one of the guys was stoned.

00:12:44.000 He was my age.

00:12:45.000 I think he was smoking weed.

00:12:46.000 And I saw him just take some whipped cream.

00:12:51.000 And I saw him just sort of go, oh.

00:12:55.000 Like my age.

00:12:56.000 Yeah.

00:12:57.000 I don't know.

00:12:58.000 What's that?

00:12:59.000 You can't do that.

00:13:00.000 But the Old ladies look hot too.

00:13:03.000 Like the grandmother was the grandmother, but the woman my age, all like tanned, dressed up.

00:13:09.000 They didn't have high heels on, but they had wedges and stuff, dancing sexy.

00:13:14.000 Puerto Ricans, Italians, actually, all Central Americans, really, they keep trying.

00:13:20.000 They don't get that fucking white soccer mom bob and throw in the towel.

00:13:26.000 Look at J-Lo.

00:13:27.000 Anyway, fun times to be had.

00:13:28.000 One time, one of the guys, he was actually Spanish, so he has a Hispanic last name, but he grew up wealthy and he runs a restaurant.

00:13:37.000 And we were talking about the local cops.

00:13:39.000 And he said, yeah, I was beating the shit out of this guy.

00:13:41.000 And the cops showed up and they shine this.

00:13:44.000 We're outside in the driveway and they shine the spotlight on me, the headlights.

00:13:48.000 They go, what the fuck are you doing?

00:13:49.000 And I knew them, right?

00:13:50.000 I bring them food and stuff.

00:13:51.000 He had a restaurant in town.

00:13:52.000 This is back in the 90s.

00:13:53.000 And they go, this guy grabbed my pussy.

00:13:55.000 I mean, sorry.

00:13:57.000 Comedy and storytelling are so unforgiving.

00:14:01.000 One blooper and you've ruined everything.

00:14:05.000 This guy grabbed my wife's pussy.

00:14:08.000 Just a big honk.

00:14:10.000 She was the waitress at the restaurant, you know?

00:14:13.000 And he fucking, he was drunk.

00:14:14.000 They asked him to leave.

00:14:15.000 He wouldn't leave.

00:14:17.000 This is the Donald Trump thing.

00:14:18.000 But can you imagine literally grabbing a pussy?

00:14:21.000 The Donald Trump context was when you're famous and the groupies are there and they let you because they're horny.

00:14:26.000 It's not a random waitress.

00:14:28.000 Hey, honk.

00:14:29.000 Which is what he was accused of saying.

00:14:31.000 And the irony is, we can't even imagine that.

00:14:35.000 We cannot imagine going up to a waitress and being like, hey, how's it going?

00:14:38.000 Whoop.

00:14:40.000 And not expecting a fork in your neck.

00:14:43.000 So anyway, he's pounding the guy, sitting on him, sitting on his chest, and he's a big man, probably 6'2 ⁇ .

00:14:48.000 Just pounding the guy's face to a pulp.

00:14:50.000 And the cops go, to the other cop.

00:14:54.000 And they turn off the lights and reverse out the driveway.

00:14:58.000 That was 95.

00:14:58.000 Good old days.

00:15:03.000 Also in stupid news, before we get to your trip, I saw Army of the Dead over the weekend.

00:15:08.000 I started watching that.

00:15:10.000 So I'm excited.

00:15:12.000 Wife's asleep.

00:15:13.000 I'm bored.

00:15:14.000 I got some brews.

00:15:15.000 Got a pretty good buzz.

00:15:17.000 I just want to veg out, not think about politics and the state of the union, and just watch people shoot zombies, which are great things to shoot because there's no race or gender.

00:15:28.000 It's just they're zombies.

00:15:29.000 That's why they're at a shooting range because it's totally apolitical.

00:15:33.000 Shoot a zombie.

00:15:34.000 Good.

00:15:35.000 Dude, it's fucking woke.

00:15:38.000 First of all, the hero is Pilipino.

00:15:41.000 It's that guy from Guardians of the Galaxy.

00:15:43.000 And you can tell, like, I don't know, I feel like the Northeast is more used to Pilipinos than the Southwest.

00:15:51.000 They seem freaked out by his eyes.

00:15:54.000 So the first movie he was in, Guardians of the Galaxy, they covered him in makeup, right?

00:15:59.000 So his weird eyes were, he was an alien.

00:16:02.000 And then he was in a movie, a detective movie, where he had bad allergies and he got like sprayed in the eyes with something.

00:16:10.000 Oh, I think he had LASIK surgery.

00:16:12.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:16:13.000 He has LASIK surgery in the movie.

00:16:15.000 So he's like this the whole movie.

00:16:17.000 Like, ah, I can't see.

00:16:18.000 Ah, ah.

00:16:20.000 And then in this movie, they give him classes.

00:16:22.000 Yeah.

00:16:23.000 Hey, Hollywood, I'm okay with half-Asian eyes.

00:16:26.000 I hang out with it every day.

00:16:29.000 It's not hard to get used to.

00:16:35.000 And he's trying to, he's really holding onto that hair.

00:16:38.000 And it's not working out for him.

00:16:40.000 No.

00:16:40.000 It's strange.

00:16:42.000 Yeah, he's really clinging.

00:16:45.000 He's got to go full Hulk Hogan.

00:16:47.000 So let me tell you about all the fucking tropes.

00:16:49.000 They have a holding area outside of Vegas for people who are from Vegas and they can't get out.

00:16:55.000 And it's supposed to be the women and children in cages, right?

00:16:59.000 Wait, stop where you are there.

00:17:00.000 And what happens to women in cages?

00:17:03.000 Same thing that happens at the border.

00:17:04.000 They get raped every day by ICE guys.

00:17:07.000 What?

00:17:08.000 Fucking...

00:17:10.000 You know who rapes?

00:17:11.000 Yes, illegal aliens get raped like crazy.

00:17:13.000 They take birth control pills before they cross the border because they get used like fuckbags.

00:17:18.000 Oh, look at that guy.

00:17:19.000 That's the bad guy from that Netflix show with the black dude.

00:17:24.000 He was also in Sons of Anarchy.

00:17:25.000 Oh, yeah?

00:17:26.000 He's the rapist.

00:17:28.000 He rapes all these bitches, slaps them around.

00:17:31.000 So we know when illegal aliens get raped, when they finally get to America and get to the cages, they stop getting raped because we separate them from the men.

00:17:40.000 And our ICE guys do not rape them, right?

00:17:43.000 But they come from what's basically a rape festival.

00:17:46.000 It's a three-day rape tour of the border.

00:17:49.000 But in this narrative, no, it's the fucking evil cop.

00:17:52.000 So that guy you just saw, he dies twice in it.

00:17:55.000 First, they throw him to the zombies because he's a pig, rapist cop, shithead.

00:18:00.000 And then when he's a zombie, he gets killed again.

00:18:03.000 And he's one of three white guys.

00:18:05.000 So that's one white guy.

00:18:07.000 He's a disgusting rapist pig.

00:18:09.000 Then there's that guy, Deidre Dieter.

00:18:11.000 He's German, the biggest pussy in the world.

00:18:14.000 He shoots like this.

00:18:17.000 The black dude has to grab the gun from him and show him how to shoot.

00:18:20.000 The black guy is so bored of him.

00:18:21.000 Oh, God.

00:18:22.000 What a fucking loser-white piece of shit.

00:18:25.000 And then the third white guy, that's the black guy who's sick of him.

00:18:28.000 Then the third white guy is this evil monster who's about to stab them all in the back.

00:18:33.000 So the only man with any kind of redeeming features who's not black or a visible minority, I should say the only white man in the movie with any kind of nuts and likability is Tignataro.

00:18:47.000 Who's got a cigar in her mouth?

00:18:49.000 Oh my God, she stinks.

00:18:51.000 Riding a helicopter.

00:18:53.000 There she is.

00:18:54.000 All right, what do we got here, boys?

00:18:57.000 She thinks she's Clint Eastwood.

00:18:59.000 I know.

00:18:59.000 It's embarrassing.

00:19:01.000 It was a very cringeworthy performance.

00:19:03.000 When she first...

00:19:04.000 I'll try to find when she first gets.

00:19:06.000 She's a helicopter pilot.

00:19:07.000 Do you want to do this mission?

00:19:08.000 I sure do.

00:19:09.000 I got to get out of this fucking shithole.

00:19:11.000 You don't even know what the mission is.

00:19:13.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:19:18.000 Oh, God.

00:19:19.000 There she is.

00:19:22.000 The crew is half hot chicks.

00:19:24.000 Now, I would argue going into a city of zombies.

00:19:31.000 All of Vegas has been walled off and zombified.

00:19:33.000 Wait, turn it up.

00:19:35.000 Holy shit.

00:19:39.000 What the hell brings you here?

00:19:42.000 How's the job?

00:19:43.000 Sucks ass.

00:19:44.000 What are you guys doing here?

00:19:47.000 We are putting together a crew for a job.

00:19:49.000 Yeah, what does it pay?

00:19:51.000 It pans out.

00:19:53.000 We make $2 million for one day's work.

00:19:55.000 $2 million.

00:19:57.000 That's my share.

00:19:58.000 That's just for me.

00:19:59.000 $2 million if it pans out.

00:20:03.000 100%.

00:20:05.000 I meant.

00:20:05.000 Yeah.

00:20:06.000 You don't want to know the risks or...

00:20:08.000 Why would I want to know the risks?

00:20:10.000 $2 million?

00:20:11.000 It's a lot of cash.

00:20:12.000 Listen, I hate my life so deeply.

00:20:16.000 If I had $2 million, my life would change drastically.

00:20:21.000 Yeah.

00:20:22.000 Who ruined that?

00:20:23.000 Yes.

00:20:24.000 Her?

00:20:24.000 I'm sure you don't want to know.

00:20:26.000 I bet it had something to do with the helicopter.

00:20:29.000 Yeah.

00:20:29.000 I'm the helicopter guy?

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:31.000 Good guy.

00:20:32.000 I'm the helicopter guy.

00:20:34.000 I puzzled off a guy about three times in the movie, too.

00:20:36.000 By the way, a little side note.

00:20:38.000 Everyone thinks money is going to change their life.

00:20:40.000 It's the exact same as sex changes.

00:20:43.000 You put all your problems into this one area.

00:20:45.000 It's the fact that I'm born a woman and I have a penis.

00:20:49.000 And that's all your eggs are in that basket.

00:20:50.000 Then you chop it off.

00:20:52.000 And then you go, what the fuck happened?

00:20:54.000 I'm still miserable.

00:20:55.000 And then you kill yourself.

00:20:56.000 Same with money.

00:20:58.000 I need money.

00:20:58.000 I need to win the lottery.

00:20:59.000 I just, if I could get, I talk to people, I told you this at my gym, and I'm like, every time I talk to someone about the lottery, I'm like, what would you do if you won 10 million?

00:21:06.000 And they inevitably break down their own life, but make it better.

00:21:10.000 Like, I'd probably still work in a bar, but it'd be a nice bar.

00:21:14.000 Would you still drive to work?

00:21:15.000 Yeah, but in a Cadillac.

00:21:17.000 Okay, so you're in a Honda Civic now, so it'd be a nicer chair.

00:21:23.000 You don't need the 2 million TIG.

00:21:26.000 Anyway, yeah, that was really disappointing that they managed to fucking wokeify a zombie movie.

00:21:31.000 I mean, what do I expect when I'm watching Netflix, right?

00:21:35.000 Spoiler alert, everyone dies except her, the cool young girl.

00:21:41.000 Oh, she's the leader of the thing.

00:21:43.000 Oh, that's what I was going to say earlier before I interrupted myself.

00:21:46.000 Going into a zombie city and getting zombies, I would argue it's the same as breaking someone out of a jail when it's legal to kill prison guards.

00:21:56.000 So imagine the apocalypse, and you're going to save someone, and there's no law enforcement to save you from killing prison guards.

00:22:03.000 You still could not get in.

00:22:07.000 But tons of hot chicks are involved.

00:22:09.000 Look at them all.

00:22:10.000 One, two, it's half hot chicks.

00:22:14.000 That guy's evil, of course.

00:22:16.000 Of course.

00:22:16.000 Well, what's it to you?

00:22:18.000 Well, maybe a lot.

00:22:20.000 How much do you know about how these things operate?

00:22:23.000 Everything there is.

00:22:25.000 Lots of Europeans, too.

00:22:27.000 Everything there is.

00:22:28.000 She's from France.

00:22:30.000 And then the loser white guys from Germany.

00:22:33.000 Is that a thing where you get grants?

00:22:35.000 If you showcase a German?

00:22:37.000 Maybe you get grants from like the German Actors Guild.

00:22:43.000 Gag.

00:22:46.000 That black guy.

00:22:47.000 That's another thing they do with movies.

00:22:48.000 They make black guys so cool that they have no personality and you don't care if they die.

00:22:54.000 Turn it up.

00:22:56.000 My name is Titer, and I'm going to open what cannot be opened.

00:23:00.000 Are you kidding me?

00:23:01.000 No.

00:23:02.000 We need to get to open the safe.

00:23:04.000 It's rude.

00:23:06.000 But he's white.

00:23:12.000 Another spoiler.

00:23:14.000 He's not really sending them there to get money.

00:23:15.000 He's sending them there to get a zombie head so he can make more zombies and he can start a zombie army and use it as a military weapon.

00:23:24.000 Which doesn't sound very smart to him.

00:23:31.000 Did you see that?

00:23:32.000 Chelsea boots.

00:23:33.000 What a piece of shit.

00:23:34.000 I fucking hate his boots.

00:23:34.000 Yeah.

00:23:37.000 He's obsessed.

00:23:39.000 It might be a closet queer.

00:23:42.000 He's like, his boots are so stupid.

00:23:46.000 They turn him into such a cool guy that you're like, I don't know who you are.

00:23:49.000 I don't know what your personality is.

00:23:50.000 I know you hate boots.

00:23:51.000 He's obsessed with certain types of boots.

00:23:53.000 So when he dies, you're just like, okay, bye.

00:23:56.000 I should say, if he dies.

00:23:59.000 All right, we've got enough of that out of the way.

00:24:02.000 My nose is so fucking itchy.

00:24:08.000 Yeah, let's fucking hear about your gay trip.

00:24:12.000 Now, I'm warning you.

00:24:14.000 Yes.

00:24:15.000 The second this starts getting boring, we're shutting it down.

00:24:19.000 That is fine.

00:24:21.000 But because we're considering moving to North Carolina, we want to hear what it's like, right?

00:24:24.000 And yeah, let me start out with that.

00:24:26.000 Okay, so we looked at this house.

00:24:28.000 Well, the weather's good.

00:24:30.000 You know what?

00:24:31.000 Not that hot.

00:24:33.000 I mean, it's not really into the summer.

00:24:36.000 Spring?

00:24:36.000 Not that hot.

00:24:38.000 That's a stupid fucking house to buy unless you have three families splitting in a polygamous relationship.

00:24:44.000 That's a retarded McMansion.

00:24:46.000 It can go suck my dick.

00:24:47.000 It's on the lake.

00:24:49.000 Okay, even stupider.

00:24:52.000 All right, so besides like looking at property.

00:24:54.000 Why were you looking at those houses?

00:24:56.000 For you.

00:24:57.000 Oh.

00:24:57.000 Because you said look at some houses.

00:24:59.000 Okay.

00:25:00.000 So did you look up like a real estate thing?

00:25:02.000 How much were those?

00:25:03.000 Oh, no, I don't know.

00:25:05.000 They just looked like you could afford them and big and nice.

00:25:08.000 I don't want a big house.

00:25:09.000 Look at the lake.

00:25:10.000 We were talking about that.

00:25:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:11.000 Right there.

00:25:12.000 Great view of the lake.

00:25:14.000 It'd be cool to be able to jump out your backyard and onto a boat.

00:25:17.000 Dude, that's what I'm talking about.

00:25:20.000 So that's Lake Norman.

00:25:21.000 We were near Lake Norman.

00:25:23.000 Lake Norman.

00:25:24.000 A lot of ladies.

00:25:28.000 By the way, I want to explain these.

00:25:30.000 I know this is bothering you.

00:25:32.000 I just got these shirts from Nita Fashions, info at NitaFashions.com, and they come FedExed.

00:25:38.000 So they're folded up into a little package.

00:25:40.000 Now, rather than go have them dry cleaned, I have my own steamer, so I steam them.

00:25:45.000 And that makes them 99% normal, except for the cuffs.

00:25:48.000 And the cuffs still have the fold they have in the package.

00:25:51.000 Now, obviously, after my first dry clean, this will be back to normal.

00:25:54.000 But I apologize.

00:25:55.000 You're going to see a lot of, I just got a new shipment of shirts, so the next few days you're going to see a lot of creases in my cuffs.

00:26:01.000 And I apologize.

00:26:02.000 That's not who I am.

00:26:04.000 That's not what this network represents.

00:26:07.000 And it will not happen again more than six times.

00:26:09.000 Creases, cuffs, creases, cuffs.

00:26:13.000 There's a meme going around about that, too.

00:26:15.000 I am hearing young stuff now because my girlfriend's younger than I am.

00:26:19.000 She's telling me all these things.

00:26:19.000 Oh, okay.

00:26:20.000 So Creases cuffs.

00:26:22.000 You'll have to explain your youngster memes.

00:26:23.000 So, Reese's Puffs is like a TikTok.

00:26:26.000 So, that's a big boring building.

00:26:27.000 Thank you for that.

00:26:28.000 Yeah, we went to a college called Davidson, and the town was very nice.

00:26:32.000 This is a thing that there's a lot of...

00:26:34.000 See, here's what I was bummed out about.

00:26:36.000 So she went there, and I thought that there would be like cool.

00:26:39.000 The ghost of this guy haunts this area because it's old from the 1800s.

00:26:44.000 The famous poem was written here or something, but there was no like cool tales of the campus.

00:26:50.000 So you're saying.

00:26:50.000 Besides this.

00:26:52.000 So people kiss here, and if they kiss here, you're only allowed to go in there after you graduate.

00:26:58.000 Then they will be destined to be married.

00:27:01.000 Pretty interesting.

00:27:02.000 So that's kind of...

00:27:03.000 Pretty gay.

00:27:04.000 Definitely gay.

00:27:06.000 And then I noticed there's a bunch of commie, weird, like satanic art all over the campus.

00:27:12.000 So here's the one satanic bullshit thing.

00:27:16.000 That's where you go to have anal.

00:27:18.000 Yeah, devil anal.

00:27:20.000 And here's some other creepy.

00:27:22.000 Like, the new art is all...

00:27:24.000 Is it not satanic and hateful towards the human form?

00:27:29.000 That makes me think of like some horrific fire.

00:27:32.000 Right.

00:27:33.000 Where everyone died.

00:27:35.000 True.

00:27:36.000 And so this is the explanation to it.

00:27:38.000 It's very similar to Marina Abramovic.

00:27:41.000 It's Magdalena Abakanowicz.

00:27:44.000 Abakanowicz.

00:27:46.000 Abakanowicz.

00:27:47.000 I was like, yet another.

00:27:48.000 But wait, that's just the name.

00:27:49.000 What's the definition?

00:27:51.000 There's no explanation.

00:27:52.000 You have to scan a QR code to learn about it.

00:27:55.000 No.

00:27:56.000 I don't want to learn about her satanic.

00:27:58.000 Then there was...

00:27:58.000 Yeah, why learn about things when you're putting together a presentation on where you went?

00:28:02.000 It's probably about...

00:28:03.000 I'll show you the Black Lives Matter stuff.

00:28:05.000 For being North Carolina and a very nice...

00:28:08.000 Why are you spending so much time at a college?

00:28:11.000 Just to see some nice stuff.

00:28:12.000 Ready for your kids to go there in 18 years?

00:28:15.000 Dedicated.

00:28:16.000 This is some research.

00:28:17.000 This is dedicated to the soldiers and stuff.

00:28:20.000 That's me talking about how I went to the college there.

00:28:20.000 Okay.

00:28:22.000 That's not true.

00:28:23.000 And this is the town.

00:28:24.000 So this is the town that you'd be near if you were to.

00:28:26.000 Wait, what are you doing there?

00:28:27.000 That's just a picture of you?

00:28:29.000 No, it was a video of me explaining how I went to the college and I was making stuff up.

00:28:33.000 But that's not funny.

00:28:34.000 Let's see it.

00:28:34.000 Let's see if it's funny.

00:28:36.000 All right.

00:28:37.000 I don't think it is.

00:28:38.000 Okay.

00:28:39.000 Let's check it out here.

00:28:42.000 College.

00:28:44.000 Yeah, close it up.

00:28:46.000 I went there, college.

00:28:47.000 Here we go.

00:28:48.000 Okay, let's see if we get some laughs.

00:28:50.000 Go.

00:28:51.000 Nice hair.

00:28:52.000 This is where I went to college.

00:28:54.000 These are all my memories.

00:28:56.000 Alvarez Court, I mean College Union, was special to me.

00:29:02.000 After my studies, I would ride that swing in the park.

00:29:06.000 After football practice, I would go on that little balcony up there.

00:29:10.000 And it's kind of weird, but it's like Willy Wonka, where when you go up there, you turn small.

00:29:15.000 So that, although the railings look small, you shrink.

00:29:20.000 So obviously there's a physics building.

00:29:22.000 And those bushes.

00:29:25.000 Oh my god, those bushes.

00:29:28.000 There used to be this game called Hide and Go Bush.

00:29:33.000 And I would win a lot.

00:29:33.000 Yeah.

00:29:35.000 But when you lose, you bleed.

00:29:38.000 You bleed.

00:29:40.000 She told me to say something.

00:29:41.000 I was like, I don't have anything to say.

00:29:42.000 I'll make stuff.

00:29:43.000 You clearly don't have anything to say.

00:29:45.000 Wow.

00:29:46.000 Standards are lower when you're in your honeymoon phase, I guess.

00:29:49.000 I tried to save you.

00:29:51.000 I tried to save you from that.

00:29:52.000 That was brutal.

00:29:54.000 That might be worse than, I can't give you my love if I can't take your word.

00:29:59.000 What's up is down.

00:30:00.000 What's down is heard.

00:30:01.000 You're pretending you don't know the lyrics now?

00:30:05.000 Okay, so that's a boring little...

00:30:07.000 It's a nice town.

00:30:08.000 Now it's boring, dude.

00:30:10.000 It's not without its problems.

00:30:12.000 Okay, a nice Memorial Day vigil.

00:30:14.000 Black Lives Matter, not nice.

00:30:16.000 Big old Black Lives Matter thing.

00:30:18.000 Brainwashing our youth.

00:30:19.000 There's the...

00:30:20.000 What's a bird?

00:30:22.000 Glasgow Street, don't you know?

00:30:24.000 All right, thank you.

00:30:25.000 Lots of Black Lives Matter.

00:30:25.000 Figured you'd like that.

00:30:27.000 What town were you in?

00:30:28.000 Davidson.

00:30:29.000 Lots of black history.

00:30:31.000 It's like a paradise, but minus that.

00:30:35.000 You know, people in dive bars?

00:30:37.000 No, no, I didn't drink once when I was down there.

00:30:40.000 During a vacation, you drove down to North Carolina and thought it'd be a great opportunity to not party.

00:30:40.000 Ben and John.

00:30:48.000 I partied.

00:30:49.000 I had a cigar with my buddy.

00:30:50.000 They have the cat in the hat there.

00:30:52.000 That's still going.

00:30:53.000 Two baby raccoons were found.

00:30:55.000 Okay.

00:30:56.000 We are about to shut this down.

00:30:58.000 That's fair.

00:30:59.000 I'm done.

00:31:00.000 So first time going to country warehouse or whatever it is.

00:31:02.000 What is it, Cracker Barrel?

00:31:03.000 Cracker Barrel.

00:31:04.000 Yeah.

00:31:04.000 It's fantastic.

00:31:06.000 And then the videos are these here that are dumb.

00:31:09.000 Here's the lake that I want you to move to.

00:31:12.000 This is where your property would be on.

00:31:13.000 What's it called?

00:31:14.000 Lake Norman.

00:31:15.000 I don't want to move to Black Lives Matter Central.

00:31:17.000 Well, no, that's Davidson.

00:31:18.000 That's 20 minutes from here.

00:31:20.000 Oh, here's that.

00:31:22.000 What's the lake called?

00:31:23.000 Lake Norman.

00:31:24.000 Okay, let's look that up.

00:31:26.000 And then this is some badass stuff here.

00:31:28.000 And this is the...

00:31:31.000 Is it Cracker Barrel?

00:31:32.000 Cracker Barrel, yeah.

00:31:33.000 We've been to Cracker Barrel.

00:31:35.000 They're all the same.

00:31:36.000 I've never been.

00:31:38.000 So she asked me if I want a mimosa, and I said, not even close-up.

00:31:46.000 What happened?

00:31:47.000 What's the matter?

00:31:48.000 I feel like I was sparring with someone who has the arms of a normal person's legs.

00:31:55.000 This was pretty cool.

00:31:56.000 This is blindsided.

00:31:57.000 On Memorial Day.

00:31:58.000 I have pugilistic dementia from the blows that this is giving me because it fucking blows.

00:32:06.000 This guy had the original 13 flag on the top of the freeway there.

00:32:09.000 Right on the back.

00:32:10.000 Before he's committed suicide.

00:32:10.000 And we beat.

00:32:11.000 Correct.

00:32:12.000 We heard a splat.

00:32:13.000 After moving forward a little bit.

00:32:15.000 We heard a splat.

00:32:17.000 If you will, yes.

00:32:19.000 And then people erected cranes just to hang flags to be patriotic.

00:32:23.000 There was cranes there, and they saw it.

00:32:25.000 While the cranes there might as well have a flag on it.

00:32:28.000 That's true, too.

00:32:29.000 So there's a big mountain that you'll see commuting from the home, the lake home to the studio.

00:32:33.000 I was driving for 11 hours.

00:32:35.000 Fun.

00:32:36.000 Surprisingly fun.

00:32:38.000 Surprisingly fun.

00:32:39.000 And then my dad was there too.

00:32:41.000 Basically, we are going to dina time.

00:32:43.000 We have to treat my friends to the dinner because they have been very hospital to us.

00:32:49.000 And then we are going to help the baby sit the kids because they can go out because they always hang in with the kids.

00:32:58.000 But now we are going to treat them to dinner.

00:33:02.000 You have to do something nice to people that have you as a home.

00:33:07.000 Alright, well, at least that was sort of funny.

00:33:10.000 Yeah.

00:33:11.000 Then they got, you know, that's the college that I'll go to when I'm old enough.

00:33:16.000 And, oh, this was weird.

00:33:17.000 A steam factory.

00:33:19.000 They just make.

00:33:19.000 So they make steam?

00:33:20.000 Yeah.

00:33:21.000 Huh.

00:33:23.000 That might be...

00:33:24.000 Isn't that what they do with nuclear power?

00:33:26.000 That might be a nuclear power plant.

00:33:27.000 No, we looked at it and it said it's steam energy.

00:33:30.000 Oh.

00:33:31.000 And I wanted to tour that.

00:33:32.000 See, that's the type of shit that I want to do.

00:33:34.000 I wanted to tour some caverns and hit some nature.

00:33:34.000 I wanted to tour that.

00:33:38.000 But we were spending a lot of time with my friend Jared and his family.

00:33:41.000 Very, very nice.

00:33:42.000 And we just had a nice, relaxing time.

00:33:46.000 Great story, dude.

00:33:47.000 Thank you.

00:33:48.000 All right, let's start the show.

00:33:50.000 We've been talking for an hour now?

00:33:52.000 No.

00:33:53.000 A half hour.

00:33:54.000 Half hour.

00:33:55.000 Oh, then, maybe we can do some more stupid news then.

00:33:57.000 Stupid news.

00:34:00.000 Check out this first link.

00:34:01.000 I forgot to number.

00:34:02.000 It's between 12 and 13.

00:34:04.000 Where this guy, he became famous, he's from Kazakhstan, right?

00:34:08.000 The worst shithole in the world.

00:34:11.000 Why does the dictator allow him to do this?

00:34:14.000 He wed a sex doll.

00:34:16.000 Oh, he wed two sex dolls.

00:34:17.000 Look at him.

00:34:19.000 Is he fucking with us?

00:34:24.000 Can you imagine watching him fuck that?

00:34:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:30.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:30.000 Does he make out with it?

00:34:32.000 Imagine him washing it.

00:34:33.000 Does the jaw open?

00:34:34.000 It must, right?

00:34:34.000 To put the penis in?

00:34:36.000 I wonder if he makes out with her.

00:34:38.000 Because he doesn't.

00:34:39.000 What if he makes out with her and it tastes like dick?

00:34:41.000 His dick.

00:34:42.000 That is a conundrum that we fix.

00:34:44.000 Gross.

00:34:45.000 You whore.

00:34:46.000 Slap.

00:34:47.000 What if he beats her?

00:34:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:50.000 I bet he does.

00:34:50.000 I bet he comes home and he slaps her around.

00:34:53.000 And then she's lying like with her arm askew.

00:34:58.000 He's like, what have I done, my angel?

00:35:00.000 And then he picks her up and starts crying.

00:35:02.000 Is she breathing?

00:35:03.000 She's not breathing.

00:35:04.000 Yeah.

00:35:05.000 And then he holds her and he's on top of her on the kitchen floor, crying into the nape of her neck, and then he falls asleep.

00:35:13.000 He cries himself to sleep on top of her.

00:35:15.000 She looks alarmingly young, sir.

00:35:18.000 Go back to the one above that.

00:35:20.000 What the fuck?

00:35:21.000 How is that an adult?

00:35:24.000 Yeah.

00:35:26.000 Maybe this is a guy.

00:35:27.000 Wait, is he hover-handering?

00:35:29.000 He's hover-handing her.

00:35:31.000 Wow.

00:35:32.000 Dramatically.

00:35:33.000 Same with the other arm.

00:35:34.000 The other hand isn't really touching her normally either.

00:35:38.000 He's nervous.

00:35:39.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:35:40.000 You don't want to invade her privacy?

00:35:46.000 What an absolute fucking freak.

00:35:48.000 Anyway, he wants to get polygamous and get a man into it.

00:35:54.000 I want to do a wedding of a male doll and Luna, and at the same time, I want to do the ceremony of life and freedom with me.

00:36:00.000 It's similar to wedding, but not wedding.

00:36:02.000 He wants to bring a male into the...

00:36:04.000 She'll have a male and two women and then have orgies.

00:36:08.000 Orgies.

00:36:09.000 Now, orgies are hard enough with living beings.

00:36:11.000 There's a leg over there.

00:36:13.000 I mean, I've had threesomes.

00:36:14.000 I never had an orgy, but even with threesomes, you feel like you're running a little party with a clipboard.

00:36:18.000 Is everyone okay over here?

00:36:19.000 You're trying to help everyone.

00:36:21.000 I would imagine just dead legs.

00:36:24.000 Six dead legs, right?

00:36:25.000 Two, four, six dead legs.

00:36:27.000 Just lying around.

00:36:28.000 You're picking her up, dragging her over.

00:36:31.000 I guess you prop two of them up on a chair and they watch you.

00:36:37.000 Maybe he puts the hand on the boner of the guy and then he takes the other girl who's in the chair like a cadaver and he puts her finger in her pussy.

00:36:48.000 So they're masturbating to you and then you have sex with that girl who's just nothing wrong with that.

00:36:57.000 And then I don't know, you're done or you maybe you run over and you jizz on like the guy on his foam penis.

00:37:05.000 Hopefully not, but yeah, probably.

00:37:07.000 And then you wash him.

00:37:08.000 We've really reached levels of depravity.

00:37:12.000 I identify her as a massive chicken.

00:37:14.000 The gym shark described, adding that his inflatable lover's navel has depth and can be used as a vagina and a penis inserted into it.

00:37:21.000 What is that you got to do with chickens?

00:37:23.000 Do you fuck chickens, sir?

00:37:26.000 Here's a chicken, Greg.

00:37:27.000 Do you fuck it?

00:37:28.000 I got nipples too, Greg.

00:37:29.000 Do you want to fuck me?

00:37:32.000 Remember that guy with the chicken noodle farts that liked you?

00:37:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:35.000 Wow, that was an old thing.

00:37:37.000 Yeah, that was a thing.

00:37:41.000 Two Jews I thought we should check in on.

00:37:43.000 Timothy Speed Levich.

00:37:45.000 I think Speed comes from an addiction to amphetamines.

00:37:49.000 I have to be careful not to put libel myself.

00:37:49.000 I'm not sure.

00:37:51.000 But he had a great documentary about New York a long time ago that we were all obsessed with.

00:37:56.000 Very funny, weird dude.

00:37:58.000 And here he is describing friends.

00:38:02.000 He's back.

00:38:03.000 I haven't seen this guy in 20 years.

00:38:06.000 Do the first video.

00:38:08.000 So, Central Perk to the Sitcom Friends.

00:38:11.000 And when you think about it, what we're probably talking about with the international friends fans across the street taking a photo, it is a kind of a mechanic.

00:38:19.000 Pilgrimages from all over the world coming to an end on an average day on this.

00:38:24.000 The morning itself is a living art installation.

00:38:42.000 As people learn English all over the world by watching Friends.

00:38:48.000 There is kind of an analogous Western Wall here where the Friends stands right on it.

00:38:55.000 And this is the analogous Western Wall.

00:38:57.000 I can watch that guy forever.

00:38:59.000 Back when he was allegedly addicted to speed, that first doc, I think he's talking about the Twin Towers.

00:39:05.000 Maybe they were still around at the time, or it was two other towers.

00:39:08.000 And he's like, there they are, magnanimous and brave, dominating me.

00:39:13.000 But there's no victory in their subjugation.

00:39:17.000 So they proudly dominate you, but they're not assholes about it.

00:39:21.000 They don't brag.

00:39:24.000 Oh, wait, he's in.

00:39:25.000 I knew I recognized him.

00:39:26.000 He's from...

00:39:27.000 He's in this movie Waking Life that Joy.

00:39:29.000 Of course, you would know the shitty part of Timothy Robert.

00:39:33.000 Now isn't.

00:39:35.000 But didn't I mention the ongoing wow is happening right now.

00:39:41.000 I hate that movie.

00:39:42.000 You just traced a movie.

00:39:44.000 But find an older picture of him?

00:39:46.000 Yeah, that second one.

00:39:47.000 Oh, I guess that one will do.

00:39:49.000 Maybe that's what I was just talking about.

00:39:54.000 And when he was 95 years old, Les Radley said to me, I don't like New York City, but it's my favorite place to get lost in.

00:40:04.000 If you take out the words New York City from Radley's comment and put instead the word consciousness, Radley's statement still makes perfect sense.

00:40:15.000 In my own study of New York City, I would say that I get more lost.

00:40:20.000 And being lost is a really beautiful feeling here in New York City.

00:40:24.000 Because to be lost in the big city is to actually be quite precise about your place in the universe.

00:40:32.000 My cousin Bruce watched September 11th occur with his own eyes on a rooftop on Avenue B in the East Village.

00:40:39.000 So did I. He said that when the towers collapsed, he realized most of all that the vastness of the sky had been that much more exposed and that the towers had re-emerged, reunited with the infinitude that is the sky above us every day.

00:40:56.000 The World Trade Centers did not die.

00:40:59.000 They created more space.

00:41:02.000 And we may be lost, but that's because we went on walking tours with him.

00:41:08.000 John Joseph's walking tours are back.

00:41:10.000 I highly recommend those.

00:41:11.000 The guy from the Cro-Mags.

00:41:12.000 I heard about that.

00:41:13.000 He goes through New York City and talks about the history of punk.

00:41:18.000 But you can hate punk.

00:41:20.000 It's more like what New York was like in the 70s and 80s, being a street kid and a hustler and a homeless orphan.

00:41:26.000 It's fascinating.

00:41:28.000 Make sure you fucking tip him at the end.

00:41:30.000 That's the thing about walking tours.

00:41:31.000 No one realizes this.

00:41:32.000 You got to tip the guy at the end.

00:41:34.000 And then once you throw him like 10 bucks, everyone else does and it doubles his income.

00:41:39.000 So it's free?

00:41:40.000 No, it's not free.

00:41:41.000 It's like 15 bucks, but...

00:41:42.000 That's pretty cheap.

00:41:43.000 I don't know exactly how much it is.

00:41:45.000 You can do that.

00:41:45.000 See, art, crime, drugs, and punk rock.

00:41:48.000 I went on that with my wife, too.

00:41:51.000 There was a lot of German punkophiles.

00:41:53.000 You know, Europeans who were in their 50s.

00:41:57.000 Maybe you can find a link for that, though.

00:42:00.000 John Joseph Walking Tour.

00:42:05.000 Holy shit, you're slow.

00:42:16.000 Maybe John Joseph has a website?

00:42:19.000 John Joseph Pro-Mag or something?

00:42:23.000 The momentum of the show is coming to a close.

00:42:32.000 Okay, now scroll down there.

00:42:34.000 There should be a link.

00:42:35.000 Find more information here.

00:42:38.000 Click on that.

00:42:39.000 Okay.

00:42:41.000 Anyway, you'll have to look that up on your own time.

00:42:43.000 It's ruining our show.

00:42:44.000 Second Jew story was my buddy in Australia, Av Yamini.

00:42:48.000 I thought this was fascinating.

00:42:49.000 So it's got anything to do with his Judaism.

00:42:52.000 Stupid link.

00:42:52.000 But he's reporting on some demonstration in Melbourne.

00:42:59.000 And the cops say, you have to take your mask off.

00:43:02.000 And he says, no, I'm allowed to have my mask down when I have my microphone in front of my face.

00:43:08.000 And they go, no, not unless, only if you're an accredited journalist.

00:43:12.000 And he goes, okay, first of all, the whole accredited journalist thing, you guys abandoned.

00:43:17.000 Weeks ago, you stopped that as a rule.

00:43:20.000 Secondly, that's insane that the police define who is a journalist or not.

00:43:32.000 So can I just get that apology on camera?

00:43:34.000 Well, all I'm saying is...

00:43:36.000 Can I get that apology?

00:43:37.000 Because what you just did to me and a direction.

00:43:41.000 And can you say sorry?

00:43:42.000 Say one word.

00:43:43.000 Say sorry.

00:43:47.000 So we're just going to head up to the protest upstairs.

00:43:50.000 But before we get there, I want to make sure you know what's happening because on Tuesday, YouTube, you may not know this, they're changing their terms of services, which means that Rebel news may be pulled off by then.

00:44:01.000 So to ensure that you can always get our reports and they can't stop you from seeing the other side of the story, head over to your mini report.com right now.

00:44:10.000 Give me your name and email address.

00:44:13.000 That way, even if on Tuesday they do shut down our channel, I can send you the reports.

00:44:18.000 YaminiReport.com.

00:44:23.000 How you going?

00:44:26.000 Alright, so come here.

00:44:28.000 Yep, mask.

00:44:28.000 Yep, yep.

00:44:29.000 There you go.

00:44:30.000 While we're talking on this, you don't have to.

00:44:31.000 Put it on, please.

00:44:32.000 The rule with...

00:44:33.000 Put it on, please.

00:44:34.000 So, hold on, can I just clarify the rule for months?

00:44:37.000 You're aware of the rules, put your mask on.

00:44:38.000 No, no, but the rule, the rule is talking on the microphone.

00:44:42.000 I'm doing this, Bard.

00:44:45.000 And you need to clarify the rule.

00:44:48.000 Like yours.

00:44:48.000 Your nose and your mouth.

00:44:49.000 There we are, thank you.

00:44:50.000 Like his?

00:44:51.000 Like his one?

00:44:54.000 Can you hold it for you?

00:44:55.000 Nah.

00:44:56.000 Okay.

00:44:57.000 The virus, I'm worried.

00:44:58.000 Thank you.

00:44:59.000 So hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:45:02.000 No, no, the rules here.

00:45:03.000 So let's just clarify.

00:45:04.000 The rule here for media is while you're talking on the microphone, you don't actually...

00:45:10.000 Okay.

00:45:12.000 Sorry?

00:45:12.000 You are not accredited media.

00:45:14.000 That's the point.

00:45:16.000 You're saying I'm not accredited media.

00:45:18.000 Your accredited media pass issued by Victoria Police.

00:45:22.000 Victoria Police actually told us that they've cancelled.

00:45:24.000 Your accredited media pass issued by Victoria Police.

00:45:29.000 So Victoria Police told us...

00:45:31.000 What a waste of time.

00:45:32.000 No, no, no.

00:45:32.000 So wait, so you're saying that's the case?

00:45:34.000 this fucking COVID thing has really separated the wheat from the chaff and showed us who likes socialism.

00:45:39.000 And I'm not shitting on those cops, I'm shitting on the dictum that they received where they have to enforce bullshit laws.

00:45:46.000 Anyway, I just thought that was interesting.

00:45:48.000 I want to jump into a bunch of fake news before we start the show.

00:45:57.000 And we have a new bumper, Chaco Chip Media, one of our finest drops.

00:46:03.000 Just arrived from a viewer who's a fan.

00:46:06.000 No, I can't believe I just said that word.

00:46:08.000 A viewer who subscribes to the show.

00:46:11.000 And they...

00:46:12.000 This is better.

00:46:13.000 Let's just make this our fake news drop.

00:46:21.000 Chocolate chocolate chip.

00:46:23.000 Oh, yeah, I know those.

00:46:24.000 It's extra chocolate chips.

00:46:27.000 Nose is so good.

00:46:31.000 Let's see it again.

00:46:32.000 Chocolate chocolate chip.

00:46:34.000 Oh, yeah, I know those.

00:46:35.000 It's extra chocolate chips.

00:46:39.000 Nose is so good.

00:46:42.000 I think he even added a part of my sh jacket there at the end.

00:46:46.000 Because it cuts off with the microphone.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:46:48.000 You have to add that.

00:46:51.000 Well, that was really good.

00:46:52.000 Before we get to this, though.

00:46:55.000 No, no, we'll get to that.

00:46:57.000 I just, I wanted to mention this isn't fake news.

00:46:59.000 This isn't Choco Chip Media.

00:47:00.000 But DeSantis, day one, it's Pride Week where you're proud to be gay, which, again, totally redundant in 2021.

00:47:08.000 But DeSantis signed the, it's not in the notes, the no trans in women's sports law.

00:47:15.000 You noticed no one is complaining about trans men.

00:47:20.000 Wait, yeah, trans men in men's sports.

00:47:24.000 So a woman competing in male wrestling or male bodybuilding or male weightlifting.

00:47:30.000 That hasn't come up.

00:47:31.000 I wonder why.

00:47:32.000 That's kind of the Achilles heel of the whole thing, isn't it?

00:47:38.000 Yeah, so today, our first day of Pride Month.

00:47:41.000 You know what I think is the deal with him?

00:47:43.000 And maybe I shouldn't be saying this.

00:47:44.000 I think he has Asperger's in a good way.

00:47:49.000 So he doesn't really have normal feelings.

00:47:52.000 So when people go, you can't do that.

00:47:54.000 Everyone's going to hate you.

00:47:55.000 He goes, I don't give a shit.

00:47:59.000 But you'll be unpopular.

00:48:01.000 Uh-huh.

00:48:02.000 I don't care about unpopular.

00:48:04.000 It is an irrelevant feeling.

00:48:06.000 It is an emotion of the weak.

00:48:10.000 Perfect politician.

00:48:12.000 It's like when they said Ted Cruz, David Crossroom was saying, Ted Cruz doesn't care about you.

00:48:17.000 He doesn't care about your feelings.

00:48:18.000 And I was like, that's the goal.

00:48:20.000 I don't want him to know who I am.

00:48:22.000 I don't want the government to care about me.

00:48:25.000 If I'm on the government's radar, we have a problem.

00:48:29.000 Sorry, what were we going to show there?

00:48:31.000 He looks like he's smiley, dude.

00:48:33.000 Asburgers people not smile as much?

00:48:35.000 Well, they can be trained to smile.

00:48:36.000 Well, not only that, Tucker, but lost in this is we vaccinated now 3.5 million senior citizens.

00:48:43.000 We were the first state to say we're doing seniors first.

00:48:46.000 We're not going to follow the CDC's recommendation.

00:48:49.000 And what we have done has worked.

00:48:52.000 And they didn't want to discuss.

00:48:54.000 I like how they spun that?

00:48:57.000 They said the vaccinations are only for the rich and the white because elderly people in Florida tend to be wealthier than average because you've been saving money your whole life and white because, I don't know, I guess it's a predominantly white state.

00:49:13.000 Three minutes ago, some bitch just said she was going to run against him.

00:49:17.000 I'm Nikki Freed.

00:49:18.000 The only statewide elected Democrat in Florida.

00:49:21.000 It's corrupt.

00:49:22.000 It's anti-Democratic.

00:49:23.000 And it's time for something new.

00:49:25.000 Like many of you, she's not hot.

00:49:29.000 I mean, I would say good luck.

00:49:31.000 I'd be a little nervous about Ron DeSantis not winning the presidency.

00:49:36.000 That's not a guarantee.

00:49:37.000 So I'll sweat a few drops for that.

00:49:40.000 But Ron DeSantis not winning Florida?

00:49:42.000 Are you out of your mind?

00:49:44.000 Unless you provide free motorboats to every viewer, and I'm talking about your tits, there's no way you're going to win, my dear.

00:49:52.000 Kicking out the NRA.

00:49:54.000 Yeah, that'll go great with Floridians.

00:49:57.000 Fighting racism, thank you.

00:49:59.000 Fighting racism.

00:50:01.000 All right, let's do some Choco Choco Chip Media.

00:50:06.000 Oh, here's an interesting thing.

00:50:07.000 So I'm very lucky in that I'm close with Matt Palumbo, who is now Dan Bongino's top researcher.

00:50:14.000 So every time I see bullshit, I just go, is this true?

00:50:17.000 And then he sends me a bunch of charts.

00:50:19.000 And it's never true.

00:50:21.000 The thing that makes me go, oh shit, that looks pretty bad, is never true.

00:50:25.000 But anyway, let's start with 1.5.

00:50:30.000 So there's this dude, Tay Anderson, whose trademark is a backwards baseball cap, even when he has a suit on.

00:50:36.000 So he goes, I'd love to see where Black Lives Matter as an organization called on folks to riot and burn down cities.

00:50:43.000 Pigs in a blanket, fry them like bacon.

00:50:46.000 What do we want?

00:50:46.000 Dead cops.

00:50:47.000 When do we want them now?

00:50:48.000 Do you mean like a press release that said, please burn down a city?

00:50:53.000 I can show you infinite, like last show on Friday, no, yesterday, I believe it was, we had that one with the bullhorn saying that she can't wait for cops to pull over someone because they're going to get fucking shot in the head.

00:51:07.000 So all of the rhetoric with the burning down is prevalent.

00:51:10.000 I'm sorry if it's not laminated on a piece of paper that you got from BLM.

00:51:15.000 But anyway, go back to him.

00:51:19.000 I'd also love to know about the mythical organization of Antifa.

00:51:23.000 Last time I checked, that organization doesn't exist.

00:51:29.000 Not that it's not organized, it's that it doesn't exist.

00:51:31.000 And then who's saying this?

00:51:32.000 Who wants to normalize Antifa?

00:51:35.000 Oh, a Denver school board member who has apparently been raping kids.

00:51:40.000 Mostly dreamers.

00:51:42.000 Not the cops, not the ICE police, but the activists, the thought police.

00:51:50.000 Brooks Fleming told the committee 62 people had come to her for help regarding single individual, regarding a single individual, but it was Tay.

00:52:03.000 Their experiences ranged from unwanted touching to violent acts of rape, she said.

00:52:09.000 61 of them lacked documentation or recipients of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program.

00:52:16.000 And the youngest was 14.

00:52:18.000 When it says lacks documentation, it means at first glance you might think of the rape.

00:52:22.000 No, they mean they weren't citizens.

00:52:24.000 So this fucking pig that was trying to normalize Antifa and BLM and political activism and say white males are the problem with America and the patriarchy and systemic racism, et cetera, is a serial child rapist who preys on the weak, the illegals.

00:52:41.000 Are you seeing a pattern here?

00:52:43.000 So anyway, I'm checking in those tweets and then someone responds with, go back to that tweet.

00:52:50.000 If you scroll down, they're like, where's the outrage?

00:52:56.000 Per the Bureau of Justice statistics, white men are just 30% of the population of America, but they comprise a whopping 72% of all child rapists.

00:53:06.000 And then they show that a white man who raped an infant daughter, which is obviously so unthinkable it makes you dizzy.

00:53:11.000 So I just send that to Matt Palombo.

00:53:12.000 I go, that looks pretty bad.

00:53:14.000 30%, 74%?

00:53:19.000 So as per the stats he sent you, whites are about 63% of the population and are perpetrators in just under half, about 49% of child sex abuse cases, right?

00:53:30.000 Blacks make up 13% and account for 21%.

00:53:34.000 Hispanics account for about 20%.

00:53:37.000 So men tend to commit nearly all crimes, so you're not really making a point.

00:53:42.000 Even if you revise the argument to more accurate, white men make up 30% of the population and commit 50%, not 74%, of the child sexual assaults, it would also apply to every other race.

00:53:55.000 Black men, for example, represent 6.5% of the population and they commit 21% of the child to sex assaults.

00:54:03.000 So it always seems to be like 1.4 more, right?

00:54:09.000 So if you're 10% of the population, you're representing fucking 24% of the rapes.

00:54:20.000 Now, so it's not a racial thing.

00:54:22.000 In fact, it's disproportionately more with blacks and Hispanics than it is with whites.

00:54:26.000 And it always seems to be about one and a half times your representation in the population.

00:54:31.000 But what the stat I'd like to see, asshole, is the gays.

00:54:35.000 Of the men that are committing child sexual assault, black, white, and Hispanic, what percent are gay?

00:54:43.000 And with gays being 1% of the population, I think we're going to be very surprised to see how many of them are gay.

00:54:50.000 It's definitely true with priests.

00:54:54.000 Here's another one, another fake news bit.

00:54:58.000 And when I say fake news, I don't just mean the media lying.

00:55:01.000 I mean a lot of us are getting our news from social media and memes and shit.

00:55:05.000 You're getting your news from jokes and lies.

00:55:09.000 Oh, this was from a while ago.

00:55:11.000 This guy, Wilfred Riley, I like him, but he does this thing where I don't know if people on Twitter realize that when you like something, it appears in your feed and we see it.

00:55:22.000 And a lot of these older dudes will like some like 20-year-old hot chick going, haven't been this horny in weeks.

00:55:30.000 Or like, what do you think of my new heels?

00:55:33.000 Or like, this I like to call my cleavage shirt.

00:55:38.000 And I guess they're liking it so they can have it in some sort of spank bank, but you're showing me that you're a perv, dude.

00:55:44.000 I remember we did this and there was...

00:55:46.000 Maybe he heard you.

00:55:48.000 Yeah.

00:55:50.000 So anyway, go back to his thing.

00:55:52.000 So this is a conservative who says, hey, man, you know, I'm like you, but it's important to distinguish between edgy, heterodox information that mainstream media won't report and racist crap that's not true.

00:56:04.000 And so, okay, I'm almost interested in stuff like this because I want to be debunked.

00:56:08.000 If white men are out there raping kids like crazy, I want to hear about it.

00:56:13.000 They say 13% of the population commits 80% of the crime.

00:56:16.000 That's not even close to true.

00:56:19.000 Wait, did we cover this already?

00:56:21.000 I don't remember this.

00:56:23.000 The black rate of index violence crimes, which is a problem, is max 2.2 to 2.4 times the white rate before any age or income adjustments.

00:56:33.000 Keep going.

00:56:34.000 Show this thread.

00:56:37.000 And then he says, for anyone saying I'm exaggerating this trend, President Trump posted the meme attached meality.

00:56:42.000 Of course, 85% of white murder victims are killed by white guys.

00:56:45.000 Yeah, but there's not that many white murder victims, Wilfred.

00:56:48.000 Don't let MSN dishonesty drive you into fringe.

00:56:51.000 So then, oh, that's the thing you showed earlier, Ryan.

00:56:54.000 You showed the chart too soon.

00:56:56.000 You should have known when the chart says murder by race, not child sexual assault.

00:57:01.000 Oh, I saw Age of Victim, so I thought that that had something to do with that.

00:57:05.000 Yeah, well, murder by race is at the top.

00:57:07.000 So when you want to see what a chart is, you usually start with the headline.

00:57:10.000 That's true.

00:57:10.000 That's why they call it a title.

00:57:12.000 Okay.

00:57:14.000 I figured that, I don't know.

00:57:15.000 I thought you would have said something.

00:57:16.000 Ryan, don't say I figured that.

00:57:18.000 I'm busy here trying to do a show.

00:57:19.000 You're pulling up the wrong chart.

00:57:21.000 I dared to assume you knew what the fuck you were doing.

00:57:26.000 Please stop with the constant excuses all the time.

00:57:29.000 Every time you fuck up, you fucked up.

00:57:34.000 The doc he linked to is of victim data, not perpetrator.

00:57:41.000 But from it, even if you compare blacks and whites of the same age for murder victimization, and the perpetrator is usually the same race, the ratio is as high as 10 to 1 for those aged 18 to 21.

00:57:54.000 Matt's got to do a book of all these and just debunk them all one by one.

00:57:58.000 So no, the meme that Trump tweeted is not misleading.

00:58:06.000 And go back, actually, because I think other people debunk them.

00:58:08.000 Because he says 13% doing 80% of the violence.

00:58:11.000 Yeah, it's way less than 13%.

00:58:13.000 Black women, black men over 40 commit next to no murders.

00:58:16.000 Black men aged 14 to 35, probably 2% of the population, do about 50% of the murders.

00:58:23.000 Tragic.

00:58:24.000 Averting our eyes won't help.

00:58:26.000 What you report is factually correct.

00:58:28.000 It's about 2% to 3% of the U.S. population.

00:58:29.000 So anyone, yeah, everyone takes him apart.

00:58:31.000 Oh, Steve Saylor will be good.

00:58:33.000 In 2019, FBI statistics, blacks at 30% of the population, were 55.9% of the known murder offenders.

00:58:40.000 Per capita, blacks were 8.2 times as likely as non-blacks to be known murder offenders.

00:58:45.000 And again, they always say blacks, and we include old ladies and fucking babies.

00:58:51.000 It's 14 to 30, and that's a fraction.

00:58:55.000 Anyway, we all know these stats.

00:58:57.000 But here's something.

00:58:59.000 Speaking of stats, so Black Lives Matter, everyone's evil, right?

00:59:02.000 We live in a racist society.

00:59:04.000 We live in such a racist society that if I'm nice to a black person and give them a lollipop, I make a movie of it and put it on social media to show them a cuck buddy.

00:59:12.000 Or actually, I'm calling them cuck buddies.

00:59:17.000 Cop shot over the weekend.

00:59:19.000 California Sheriff's Deputy has died after being shot following a pursuit of a motorcyclist who failed to pull over the San Bernardino where Mercedes is.

00:59:25.000 We've got a letter from her from the mailbag today.

00:59:28.000 Office announced just before midnight local time on Monday that 43-year-old Sergeant Dominic Vaca, a 17-year veteran of the force, so three years out, had succumbed to his injuries.

00:59:38.000 The gunshot wound he sustained earlier today was too severe for him to overcome.

00:59:44.000 Sheriff John McMahon announced in a video shared on Twitter, our prayers are with him and his family.

00:59:49.000 We all mourn this difficult time.

00:59:51.000 Go to link in our bio for more.

00:59:53.000 Jesus H. Christ.

00:59:54.000 That's brutal.

00:59:56.000 You won't see that in the mainstream media, in the Choco Chip media.

01:00:00.000 Also, I saw this in the newspaper, the New York Post, one of the few people.

01:00:05.000 No, don't jump ahead, please, Ryan.

01:00:09.000 This isn't in the notes, but I saw this in the newspaper, and it's not reported.

01:00:14.000 Like, the New York Post is very pro-cop.

01:00:19.000 Cops home shot up.

01:00:21.000 This woman in Long Island, Natalie Iglesias, Natalie Iglesias, had her home shot up by gangsters who just laced into her house.

01:00:35.000 How we doing there, Ryan?

01:00:37.000 N-A-T-H-A-L-Y Gomez Iglesias, an off-duty city cop was grazed in the head by a bullet Monday when her home was sprayed with more than 30 rounds.

01:00:49.000 Wait a minute.

01:00:50.000 Apparently intended for her sister's alleged gangbanger boyfriend, police and sources said.

01:00:56.000 Way to go, sis.

01:00:58.000 Way to get them involved.

01:01:00.000 Have you got it yet, buddy?

01:01:03.000 Having trouble over there, are we?

01:01:04.000 Yes, sir.

01:01:05.000 Try the author, Joe Marino.

01:01:07.000 Sometimes that helps.

01:01:10.000 Why don't you let me type in the search now?

01:01:12.000 I'll just show you, since we can't do it.

01:01:16.000 Cop's home shot up.

01:01:17.000 Very attractive lady.

01:01:23.000 So no luck there from Ry Gai on the article.

01:01:26.000 No.

01:01:27.000 You could show that homeless man hit the dude.

01:01:31.000 Not homeless man, sorry, black man.

01:01:33.000 Punched an Asian lady in the face.

01:01:34.000 Right in front of Wohop.

01:01:37.000 I just ate there.

01:01:38.000 Oh, so you do contribute to the show.

01:01:40.000 I'm sorry.

01:01:41.000 I never said I did.

01:01:48.000 Look, what's he doing there?

01:01:49.000 Calm down, everyone.

01:01:50.000 I just hit a bitch in the head.

01:01:55.000 Look, he sticks around.

01:01:56.000 Why isn't anyone beating him up?

01:02:05.000 Like, at least jump him and hold him down there for the cops.

01:02:10.000 She hit me.

01:02:12.000 Sheesh.

01:02:13.000 Did you have knives downstairs?

01:02:15.000 Didn't I send...

01:02:16.000 I sent you the John Joseph link.

01:02:17.000 Can you at least pull that up?

01:02:18.000 That took me 10 seconds.

01:02:21.000 One minute and 17 seconds I counted.

01:02:23.000 It was on the video.

01:02:25.000 But yes.

01:02:29.000 Wait, what are you doing, dude?

01:02:31.000 I'm in the emails.

01:02:33.000 And it didn't show up yet?

01:02:36.000 I got it.

01:02:38.000 Folks, are you going as nuts as me?

01:02:41.000 So this website is johnjosephdiscipline.com.

01:02:46.000 When you go to John Joseph Discipline, he does a lot of like self-help stuff, you know, training and shit like that, getting your diet in order and stuff.

01:02:53.000 He's a big vegan guy.

01:02:55.000 But when you click on walking tours, they come.

01:02:59.000 Highly recommend it.

01:03:00.000 And he's a down-to-earth dude.

01:03:01.000 You can shoot the shit with him and ask him questions and stuff.

01:03:05.000 He'll tell you who killed Sid and Nancy.

01:03:08.000 The 35 now.

01:03:10.000 The 35 now.

01:03:10.000 What?

01:03:11.000 35.

01:03:12.000 Still worth it.

01:03:13.000 Yeah, give him a $5 tip.

01:03:15.000 I would do it.

01:03:19.000 Mass shooting in Miami.

01:03:21.000 That's the 1-8 I was trying to get to before.

01:03:24.000 Not on the news.

01:03:25.000 Not on the news.

01:03:30.000 Look, even the way they describe it, they don't...

01:03:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:34.000 At least this video of mass shooter suspects.

01:03:38.000 1, 2, 3.

01:03:40.000 Scroll down.

01:03:42.000 Do you have any info?

01:03:43.000 How many died?

01:03:44.000 Oh, two are dead.

01:03:45.000 23 shot in all.

01:03:48.000 Ages ranging from 17 to 32.

01:03:51.000 Hello?

01:03:52.000 Can we get that on the news, please?

01:03:55.000 Can we get that on the Choco Chip news?

01:03:57.000 And again, the news isn't doing it because the narrative is that we live in a horrible racist society where white men like Dylan Roof are shooting up everything and we have to fight racism, Black Lives Matter, Black Lives, saying Black Lives Matter is a big deal.

01:04:12.000 I mean, you see politicians running with programs that say, I'm running for Black Lives.

01:04:17.000 Like, Black Lives is a thing that they're running for.

01:04:20.000 To make them equal.

01:04:21.000 And you're going, I have eyeballs and ear holes.

01:04:24.000 I go outside every day.

01:04:26.000 The black people that are in trouble are most, for the most part, trouble themselves.

01:04:31.000 That's why they're so badly overrepresented in the crime stats, because they're up to mischief.

01:04:35.000 And I blame the Dems with their endless stupid welfare programs.

01:04:39.000 Jesus H. Look, you can see by the smoke, the shooting's still going.

01:04:53.000 Oh, you know what?

01:04:54.000 Remember we said Freddie Gray was one of the O's?

01:04:59.000 I was talking to A cop this weekend, and he told me about a dude.

01:05:03.000 He told me about a phenomenon where people will jump in front of cars.

01:05:09.000 Key Styles is his name.

01:05:12.000 And what they do is they jump in front of cars and fuck themselves up.

01:05:23.000 Key Styles.

01:05:24.000 And then they sue the insurance company.

01:05:28.000 So his contention is that Freddie Gray was trying to fuck himself up.

01:05:33.000 And he'd, yeah, that was it.

01:05:35.000 He'd broken his neck the previous week, I think, or month, being one of these guys who jumps in front of a car at like 20 miles an hour.

01:05:42.000 You don't want to jump in at 80 miles an hour.

01:05:44.000 But when it's local traffic, you jump in front of the car and then you sue the insurance company and you'll get like 10 to 40 grand.

01:05:51.000 I used to live with this black woman who jumped in front of the train.

01:05:55.000 And she was living in a very nice building that I was in the penthouse suite of.

01:06:00.000 And she was like, really, and I think she was already that retarded.

01:06:04.000 And she would jump in front of a train when it was going nice and slow and then get the money.

01:06:08.000 In fact, she did it again when we were there and ended up in the Bellevue.

01:06:12.000 And I was like, I told the Bellevue nurse, I don't want her coming back.

01:06:15.000 She's a danger to herself.

01:06:16.000 She almost burnt down her building because she was doing crack.

01:06:19.000 And she lit the carpet on fire.

01:06:22.000 And then she put a lighter underneath the water thing so it would put out the fire.

01:06:27.000 But it flooded all the apartments.

01:06:28.000 Anyway, so it sounds like even the Freddie Gray one wasn't.

01:06:33.000 And my new rule is everything starts with Martin Luther King, okay?

01:06:38.000 If you want to go back in history, we can do the potato famine, we can do white slavery, we can do the Scots being tortured by the English for 700 years, we can do little children covered in coal in the coal mines during the Industrial Revolution.

01:06:51.000 We all got a lot of shit before 1969.

01:06:55.000 We all had it real rough.

01:06:58.000 Remember that woman who was talking about, my grandfather had no shoes on his feet and he fought with the Tuskegee airman.

01:07:04.000 And you're like, yeah, all grandfathers had no shoes on their feet.

01:07:07.000 How many of you have a grandfather who was driving around in a fucking convertible smoking a cigar?

01:07:14.000 Every time you talk to someone, they're usually dead now, but most people like my grandparents age, my grandmother had dirt floors.

01:07:23.000 I was perfectly normal back then in rural Scotland.

01:07:29.000 So we're starting with 1970 from now on.

01:07:32.000 And in that last sheet, I may have to update that because I had four O's, right?

01:07:37.000 Two of them were horrific KKK things that the guys were executed for, but they were back in the 50s.

01:07:43.000 So I think I should delete those two O's.

01:07:45.000 And that leaves the other two O's.

01:07:47.000 There was Freddie Gray.

01:07:48.000 I can't remember what the other one was.

01:07:51.000 But if Freddie Gray had a previous spinal injury and was fucking himself up so he could become the next martyr, you lose your O, dude.

01:08:02.000 Tanya Anderson, that was the other one?

01:08:04.000 Emmett Till was one of them.

01:08:06.000 Emmett Till, yeah.

01:08:07.000 Emmett Till and the little girl in the church.

01:08:11.000 I don't know if we should count those.

01:08:13.000 No, I didn't start with that caveat.

01:08:16.000 I think we're going to have 1-0.

01:08:19.000 Tanina Anderson, Freddie Carlos.

01:08:21.000 So we'll maybe do an update and re-upload that.

01:08:24.000 But 1-0 out of 50 years doesn't sound like it's a problem to me.

01:08:32.000 But we keep treating it like that, and then we pose with black people and go, I'm breaking the mold.

01:08:37.000 I'm not murdering black people.

01:08:38.000 I'm actually their friend.

01:08:39.000 I'm buying lemonade from them.

01:08:40.000 I'm posing with them at a game.

01:08:42.000 I'm buying them lunch.

01:08:45.000 That's gay and boring and insulting to me because you're implying that I have a problem with that and you're blowing my mind.

01:08:54.000 Let me show you what I mean by cuck buddies.

01:09:04.000 America is a racist shithole where black people are abused, shot by the cops, and just generally ignored, treated like crap.

01:09:13.000 I am going to reverse that one step at a time.

01:09:16.000 I went up to one of them and I gave him some licorice.

01:09:20.000 Isn't that sweet of me?

01:09:22.000 No, it's not.

01:09:23.000 Blacks are not.

01:09:24.000 Again, we're starting with 1969.

01:09:27.000 From that day forward, blacks are not human garbage.

01:09:30.000 So stop blowing our minds by being nice to them.

01:09:34.000 Your fucking cock buddy is not your friend.

01:09:38.000 It's embarrassing.

01:09:38.000 Remember I told you the other day when I was getting off the plane coming back from Florida?

01:09:42.000 And that able-bodied young white man sees a black dude who's the same as him.

01:09:47.000 Same opportunities.

01:09:49.000 He's the fucking same.

01:09:50.000 Stop it in 2021.

01:09:52.000 And he isolates him out and he goes, hey man, is this your bag?

01:09:55.000 You want to help with you?

01:09:56.000 What are you doing?

01:09:57.000 He'll get his own bag.

01:09:59.000 Go give it to an old lady or something.

01:10:01.000 Now, if there's some poor black dude who's been walking five miles to work every day and you all pitch in and get him a car, that's nice.

01:10:11.000 But don't post it.

01:10:12.000 We don't need to see that, okay?

01:10:13.000 You're just being a decent human being who did a nice thing that cost you each like a thousand bucks.

01:10:18.000 That's great.

01:10:19.000 Now shut the fuck up.

01:10:20.000 Stop virtue signaling because when it's cuck buddy based, you're accepting that we live in a racist America and what you're doing is somehow magnanimous.

01:10:30.000 And that insults me because I'm in the country that you're calling racist.

01:10:35.000 So let's start with the king of cuckbuddies, the guy who, very difficult dude to read.

01:10:41.000 I can't tell if he's kidding or not.

01:10:42.000 We watch some more of his TikToks.

01:10:45.000 He's all over the map politically.

01:10:46.000 He'll say a bunch of facts and he'll say, so what should we do?

01:10:49.000 I don't fucking know.

01:10:51.000 So basically he's a clueless retard.

01:10:53.000 But I think this is real.

01:10:55.000 Anyway, this is like the quintessential cuck buddy.

01:10:58.000 This is the Jesus Christ, the final prophet of cuckbuddiness.

01:11:04.000 You've seen this, obviously.

01:11:05.000 What's up, white people and the rest of you motherfuckers?

01:11:09.000 I'm starting a trend.

01:11:11.000 Look what I got.

01:11:13.000 One, two.

01:11:16.000 Oh.

01:11:17.000 Show them the bag.

01:11:19.000 Let me see the bag.

01:11:20.000 What is that?

01:11:21.000 Seven bucks?

01:11:21.000 Hashtag apology lunch.

01:11:24.000 Go find yourself a black person and buy them some fucking food.

01:11:29.000 Hashtag bag apology lunch.

01:11:32.000 Yeah, I got it.

01:11:33.000 I got it.

01:11:35.000 So, how much is Burger King?

01:11:37.000 Even if you're greedy?

01:11:38.000 Like seven bucks?

01:11:40.000 That's you getting like a lot of shit, too.

01:11:43.000 Maybe extra onion rings.

01:11:44.000 So that's two lunches.

01:11:45.000 So he spent $14.

01:11:47.000 You know what?

01:11:47.000 If that's reparations, I got that on me, as Jackie Rogers Jr. would say.

01:11:52.000 So the assumption here, too, is that like we're rich eating all this great lunch.

01:11:57.000 We don't deserve it.

01:11:58.000 They're poor and that's not fair.

01:12:01.000 Sorry.

01:12:02.000 If you're poor in 2021, you fucked up.

01:12:06.000 It's your problem.

01:12:08.000 Buckle down, get a job at Burger King, and you can eat all the Burger King you want.

01:12:11.000 All right, so that gets us started.

01:12:13.000 Here's the first one.

01:12:15.000 So that's all right.

01:12:15.000 That's the first one.

01:12:16.000 And I love the line, look what I got.

01:12:19.000 Number two, this one really pissed me off for some reason.

01:12:25.000 Meet a new, okay, you have to translate for it.

01:12:28.000 I can't read it.

01:12:29.000 Met a new friend, T.I. Met him at Speedway getting gas, and I loved his challenger.

01:12:36.000 Now that's his car.

01:12:37.000 Apparently, this man works hard to pay off his car payments.

01:12:41.000 He's got a challenger, and he works hard to pay it off.

01:12:44.000 Okay.

01:12:46.000 Every day in a lumber mill.

01:12:48.000 Oh, no.

01:12:49.000 You work in a lumber mill, you poor thing.

01:12:51.000 What the fuck?

01:12:52.000 Is that the new mines?

01:12:55.000 To pay for it, so I invited him to the group.

01:12:58.000 So I don't know what the group is.

01:12:59.000 Some chat, some group chat, some Reddit thing.

01:13:03.000 But why is this being televised?

01:13:05.000 Why is this in my life?

01:13:08.000 Which one is the challenger?

01:13:10.000 Is that it?

01:13:12.000 I can't really tell because these new muscle cars are like the old ones souped up.

01:13:16.000 Yeah, the one on the right looks like, doesn't it look like one of the new GTOs?

01:13:19.000 Yeah.

01:13:21.000 Oh, so I guess they're in a car group.

01:13:24.000 And he wants everyone to know.

01:13:25.000 And somehow this gets out.

01:13:27.000 Look, if you're in a car group, I sneeze on you officially.

01:13:33.000 And then just like motor along.

01:13:35.000 You found a new guy.

01:13:36.000 He's got a challenger.

01:13:37.000 What do you call them?

01:13:38.000 Mopros?

01:13:39.000 Mopars?

01:13:40.000 You got a Mopar?

01:13:41.000 Now you guys are talking shit about it.

01:13:43.000 That's great.

01:13:44.000 It's not a win.

01:13:44.000 You didn't accomplish something by being Dr. Doolittle who can talk to the animals.

01:13:50.000 We're not impressed.

01:13:53.000 Every time I see it, I just think, fuck off, because the assumption is that it's pre-MLK.

01:14:00.000 Number three.

01:14:02.000 Okay, this one kind of has an excuse because it's a pro ball player's dad, Jay Morant.

01:14:07.000 I guess he's with the...

01:14:10.000 Who is he with?

01:14:12.000 Oh, I forgot who he's with.

01:14:13.000 He's with some weird team like the fucking Montana Rockies or something.

01:14:19.000 The Jazz and Grizzlies game?

01:14:20.000 That's the game that they're.

01:14:21.000 Oh, yeah, so he's with the Grizzlies.

01:14:23.000 His son is, right?

01:14:25.000 But, okay, so, hey, we're lucky.

01:14:27.000 I guess Ja Morant doesn't have a lot of connections and he's in shitty seats.

01:14:30.000 His dad's in shitty seats.

01:14:32.000 But we're lucky we got to meet one of the players' dads and we drank beer with him.

01:14:36.000 Okay.

01:14:36.000 But would you have televised this and put it on social media if it was a white dude?

01:14:41.000 Just look at the tone here.

01:14:43.000 It's so, I don't know.

01:14:46.000 It's so like African conqueror.

01:14:48.000 Like, hey, I've met one of the Aboriginals.

01:14:51.000 We bought him some beverages.

01:14:53.000 He'd never heard of the beverage.

01:14:54.000 I had to tell him what it's called.

01:15:13.000 Is that one as annoying?

01:15:14.000 It's not as annoying, right?

01:15:16.000 A little bit, because it's a celebrity dad.

01:15:18.000 But like, look at the picture at the end.

01:15:22.000 The way they pose with their catch.

01:15:24.000 Look what I got.

01:15:26.000 Look what I got.

01:15:28.000 All right, we might let that one fly.

01:15:30.000 Four.

01:15:32.000 This one really pissed me off.

01:15:34.000 And I know I shouldn't be pissed off about kids selling lemonade, but Snoop Dogg posted this.

01:15:40.000 Entire procession of bikers stop at lemonade stand in Indiana.

01:15:44.000 So the moral here is that America is a horrible racist country.

01:15:48.000 Bikers hate little black kids.

01:15:50.000 I mean, there are some biker gangs that are white.

01:15:52.000 There's black biker gangs.

01:15:53.000 There's the Chingalings here.

01:15:55.000 They're Puerto Rican and black Dominican or black Puerto Rican, I should say.

01:15:59.000 Then there's the Hells Angels are a white gang.

01:16:02.000 They don't hate black people, but they're a white gang.

01:16:06.000 You may have found one black dude.

01:16:07.000 Okay, go nuts, but generally they're white.

01:16:10.000 But bikers in general, they're not racist.

01:16:13.000 That's not a thing.

01:16:15.000 And the idea that we're blowing minds here by buying...

01:16:18.000 Can you turn it up?

01:16:19.000 What are they doing there?

01:16:23.000 Isn't this...

01:16:24.000 I don't know.

01:16:25.000 The meaning?

01:16:28.000 It's so insincere.

01:16:29.000 You gotta get it on tape.

01:16:31.000 Hey there.

01:16:32.000 I love it.

01:16:33.000 Let's make sure we catch all this.

01:16:35.000 We post it.

01:16:35.000 The one in the blue shirt.

01:16:37.000 I'm not racist.

01:16:38.000 I'm not racist.

01:16:38.000 Look, I'm buying lemonade.

01:16:41.000 Prince.

01:16:44.000 Oh, what's that?

01:16:44.000 Another $100 tip?

01:16:47.000 What the fuck are they doing?

01:16:48.000 Stop it.

01:16:49.000 Go fuck yourself.

01:16:50.000 I don't like this.

01:16:51.000 It's virtue signaling.

01:16:53.000 It's depressing.

01:16:54.000 It's irritating.

01:16:55.000 It makes assumptions about you and I, too.

01:16:57.000 That we thought bikers were a bunch of Nazis who would never buy lemonade from a kid.

01:17:02.000 And now you're blowing my mind.

01:17:03.000 Stop blowing my mind with the obvious.

01:17:07.000 Skinny person eats huge fat hamburger.

01:17:11.000 Fat guy has a Diet Coke.

01:17:13.000 Whoa.

01:17:16.000 This is the perfect example, though, this last one.

01:17:19.000 And it really got, this is what inspired me to do cuck buddies.

01:17:22.000 This is the first, the quintessential cuck buddy.

01:17:24.000 I started texting these to a friend just going, oh, fuck off.

01:17:27.000 But click on this one.

01:17:30.000 North Carolina breaking news.

01:17:32.000 We got some breaking news, guy.

01:17:33.000 Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

01:17:35.000 Is it the mass shooting in Miami?

01:17:36.000 No, no, no.

01:17:38.000 It's this.

01:17:39.000 If anyone recognizes this man in the orange shirt, you walk up to him and you shake his hand.

01:17:44.000 It doesn't seem like the bragging type, so I'll brag for him.

01:17:48.000 I love that, too.

01:17:50.000 See what I got?

01:17:50.000 I brag for them.

01:17:52.000 While working out at Planet Fitness in Durham, North Carolina, a special needs man constantly approached him about 10 different times in a 45-minute time span with handshakes, hugs, questions, and interactions.

01:18:06.000 Not only did this man smile, laugh, give him workout advice multiple times, and joke back with him while getting in his own workout, but he didn't care who was watching while doing it.

01:18:20.000 Just to be clear here, a retard came up to a Negro and he didn't even hurt him.

01:18:26.000 Isn't that fantastic?

01:18:28.000 And he didn't even care that he was being seen with a retard.

01:18:32.000 Oh my God.

01:18:34.000 How brave.

01:18:35.000 Because we know that if other people saw him, they go, ill, that black guy's talking to a special needs guy?

01:18:40.000 Disgusting.

01:18:43.000 He didn't care who was watching.

01:18:46.000 So this is this guy being super brave by saying, I'm going to brag for him.

01:18:51.000 Like, he didn't care who was watching while doing it.

01:18:54.000 So he was nice to the guy and like, hey, yeah, okay, I'll show you.

01:18:57.000 Hey, everyone.

01:18:57.000 Everyone see that?

01:18:59.000 I just showed him how to lift a weight.

01:19:02.000 So I hope you saw that we're not all rapists and murderers.

01:19:07.000 His patience, compassion, and friendliness was next level admirable.

01:19:15.000 Next level admirable.

01:19:17.000 That's worse than the fucking apology lunch.

01:19:22.000 Towards the end of the workout, the special needs man approached me and pointed to the man in the orange shirt and said, that's my friend, with a huge smile on his face.

01:19:31.000 Yeah.

01:19:31.000 We've been around special needs people.

01:19:33.000 That's how they talk.

01:19:34.000 And when someone's nice to them, they like it.

01:19:46.000 The pics aren't the best, but they were the best creeper pics I could take at the time.

01:19:51.000 I was creeping around.

01:19:53.000 And this guy deserves recognition.

01:19:55.000 No, he does not.

01:19:57.000 The world needs more people like this man in the orange shirt.

01:20:00.000 Okay, let's do a test.

01:20:02.000 Let's take a special needs person to every gym in America.

01:20:05.000 We'll have to spread them out.

01:20:06.000 Take every special needs person.

01:20:08.000 I don't know how many there are.

01:20:10.000 Thanks to liberals and abortion, there's a hell of a lot less than when I was young.

01:20:13.000 Let's say there's 40,000.

01:20:15.000 Let's take them all to gyms and they go, hi, can you show me something?

01:20:15.000 Okay?

01:20:19.000 You're my friend.

01:20:20.000 Hug, hug.

01:20:21.000 I'm guessing about one in a million people will be like, fuck off.

01:20:24.000 I don't have time for you.

01:20:26.000 One in a million.

01:20:27.000 And that's being mean.

01:20:28.000 Every other person's going to, okay, man.

01:20:31.000 No, you want to kneel down.

01:20:31.000 Yeah.

01:20:32.000 Yeah.

01:20:33.000 And then you want to get your back into it.

01:20:34.000 And slowly and then wrote, yeah.

01:20:36.000 Oh, you got it.

01:20:37.000 That's it.

01:20:38.000 Okay.

01:20:38.000 Bye.

01:20:41.000 Like a black guy acts like a human being and all these white people have to virtue signal on his behalf because, and this is why I fucking hate this shit.

01:20:49.000 The assumption is that I think that the black guy is some fucking animal who's just going to beat up a special needs kid for no fucking reason.

01:20:57.000 No, I don't think that.

01:20:58.000 I've noticed a pattern where black males seem disproportionately represented in crime.

01:21:03.000 That's not good.

01:21:04.000 But I'm not a racist.

01:21:05.000 So I don't look at that guy and assume he's a violent cocksucker at first glance.

01:21:12.000 And I'm not surprised when he acts like a decent human being.

01:21:14.000 And by you acting like I would be surprised, you're implying that I don't see people, strangers, as decent human beings.

01:21:22.000 Well, fuck you for saying that.

01:21:24.000 Fuck you, cuck buddy.

01:21:34.000 At least Geddy Lee's voice is unique.

01:21:37.000 Right?

01:21:41.000 Um.

01:21:44.000 Okay, I'm bored of talking about racism.

01:21:46.000 Antifa.

01:21:49.000 Let's do an Antifa segment, yo.

01:22:01.000 Look at these fucking horrible, weak users.

01:22:05.000 Fuck yo, dad.

01:22:09.000 I was talking to a tech guy and he goes, good news, we're up to 26k viewers, subscribers.

01:22:15.000 But what's better news is, in total, since day one, we've had 44,000.

01:22:20.000 He goes, that's, imagine you're the Rolling Stones, man.

01:22:23.000 Imagine you played a stadium and there's 44,000 people there.

01:22:27.000 And I go, so 23,000 left or 13,000 left?

01:22:34.000 23, 33, 40, 10.

01:22:36.000 Yeah, 20,000 left.

01:22:38.000 So imagine it's time to go on and you look out and you're like, well, it seems like it's half as full as when the opening band came on.

01:22:45.000 And they go, yeah, half the stadium left.

01:22:48.000 It's not quite so flattering.

01:22:50.000 Was any of that to do with the payment process or where we lost?

01:22:54.000 There's also the normal turnaround.

01:22:56.000 Talk to any one of these people who have these things.

01:22:58.000 People's credit cards expire, they go broke, they change their mind, whatever.

01:23:03.000 It's not like there's a mass exodus.

01:23:05.000 It's like every month you gain five and lose two.

01:23:11.000 Anyway, I like to look at the dark side of things.

01:23:16.000 I thought this was interesting, 3-1.

01:23:18.000 The United Nations has decided that proud boys cannot be restricted because they have the right to free speech and the right to...

01:23:27.000 Oh, no, wait, I got it wrong.

01:23:28.000 It's Antifa.

01:23:30.000 Human rights experts expressed profound concern over a recent statement by the U.S. Attorney General that described Antifa as domestic terrorists.

01:23:38.000 They say it undermines the rights to freedom of expression and of peaceful assembly in the country.

01:23:45.000 Like, who's had less peaceful demonstrations, Proud Boys or Antifa?

01:23:50.000 Yet, Proud Boys are the ones in prison right now.

01:23:52.000 And by the way, folks, please write Joe Biggs, Max and John, and Mercedes.

01:23:59.000 Max and John are in a shithole prison that sucks.

01:24:02.000 Their life is horrible.

01:24:04.000 Their appeal wasn't even considered.

01:24:05.000 We saw the appeal.

01:24:06.000 We made a movie of it here.

01:24:07.000 It was three black women basically determined to change their minds.

01:24:11.000 I mean, sorry, determined not to change their minds.

01:24:14.000 And then Joe Biggs has been in solitary confinement now for about four months.

01:24:21.000 He can't move.

01:24:23.000 Like, you want to talk about torture?

01:24:26.000 Lock someone in a room.

01:24:27.000 Human contact is how we define our sanity.

01:24:30.000 But if you really want to torture someone, lock them in a room, deny them human contact, slide them food through their door once a day, twice a day, with no chance at, you know, talking to people.

01:24:46.000 Wait, we can't see it because of that stupid thing.

01:24:50.000 Yeah.

01:24:51.000 So that's been double-checked, right?

01:24:56.000 I should double-check that.

01:24:58.000 I talk to his lawyer sometimes.

01:25:00.000 I'm worried that's old.

01:25:03.000 And then, so yeah, that guy needs someone to talk to.

01:25:07.000 He needs correspondence.

01:25:09.000 And then there's Mercedes, who I've been reading her letters over the weekend, and I'm just convinced she's innocent, and this is political.

01:25:18.000 I mean, she was vocally MAGA.

01:25:20.000 All of these people, Joe Biggs, Mercedes, John Max, all vocally MAGA people, proud to be American, loved Trump.

01:25:31.000 And they're all locked behind bars.

01:25:35.000 Actually, let's look at Mercedes here.

01:25:36.000 I'm just going to jump ahead out of the mailbag just for a second here.

01:25:42.000 No, I'm not.

01:25:42.000 I changed my mind.

01:25:43.000 We'll do that in the mailbag.

01:25:47.000 Also in Antifa News.

01:25:49.000 Antifa were not there.

01:25:51.000 This is 3-2.

01:25:53.000 The accepted narrative is that Antifa being there was a lie.

01:25:56.000 They were not there.

01:25:58.000 And that guy, John Sullivan, doesn't exist.

01:26:01.000 Look, he's clearly on Adderall.

01:26:02.000 This is a known Antifa member who has paid $70,000 for his Capitol Riot video.

01:26:06.000 And I've double confirmed these.

01:26:07.000 The FBI says they have no proof Antifa members dressed up as Trump supporters.

01:26:13.000 I think he got Ashley Babbitt killed.

01:26:16.000 By the way, that cop I was within the weekend.

01:26:18.000 He also said Ashley Babbitt deserved to die.

01:26:21.000 He said, let's not bullshit here.

01:26:24.000 You're guarding the vice president.

01:26:25.000 You hear a window smash and someone jumps through it.

01:26:29.000 Phew.

01:26:32.000 It's your job.

01:26:34.000 I see his point.

01:26:36.000 But yeah, the John Sullivan thing isn't some weird Alex Jones thing where a few freaks think about it and there's no proof.

01:26:44.000 I sound like I'm disparaging Alex Jones.

01:26:46.000 The way he's perceived is like on the fringe and has crazy theories.

01:26:51.000 But John Sullivan himself was very vocal.

01:26:53.000 He was on Anderson Cooper talking about his footage.

01:26:57.000 And you can hear him say, let's do this.

01:26:59.000 Let's pushing Ashley Babbitt.

01:27:01.000 Not physically, but verbally saying, let's go, let's go.

01:27:07.000 He convinced the cops to go away, too.

01:27:09.000 He's like, I want you guys to go home.

01:27:10.000 So just step away, walk away.

01:27:13.000 There's tons and tons of footage of John Sullivan egging on people at the Capitol.

01:27:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:27:25.000 That thing is getting fishier by the day.

01:27:27.000 More and more shit's coming out about the National Guard being told to stand down, people being invited in.

01:27:33.000 Look, they're staying in between the ropes.

01:27:36.000 And while trying to break into the House chamber, he even volunteers a knife to help break down doors.

01:27:46.000 But then curiously, at each police line he meets, he claims to be press.

01:27:54.000 Then Sullivan does something really odd.

01:27:56.000 He pleads with the Capitol Police to make a pact and let them into the House chamber.

01:28:04.000 Moments later, the police step aside and Sullivan again incites the mob to more violence.

01:28:09.000 Let's go!

01:28:10.000 Let's go!

01:28:13.000 Pretty big.

01:28:16.000 This trial, though, is going to be going so slowly as Joe Big fucking rots in prison away from his daughter.

01:28:23.000 Where's his poor daughter?

01:28:24.000 Rufio, too.

01:28:26.000 And Ethan Nordine, yeah.

01:28:27.000 The exact same story.

01:28:30.000 Oh, we should get Ethan Nordine's info to write him.

01:28:38.000 Here's something that's going on.

01:28:39.000 Where the fuck's Andy No?

01:28:41.000 This guy posts about every two, three hours.

01:28:44.000 He hasn't posted in three days.

01:28:46.000 And this is his last post.

01:28:49.000 I can't find anything in the news about him.

01:28:50.000 Every time you look him up, you just see people saying, where'd he go?

01:28:53.000 Is he okay?

01:28:57.000 Weird, huh?

01:28:59.000 All right, let's go to the mailbag.

01:29:00.000 I got to take my daughter to boxing.

01:29:06.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dance.

01:29:11.000 Let's turn our fries together's mailbag.

01:29:16.000 Let me touch it.

01:29:20.000 Okay, letters from Mercedes.

01:29:21.000 Unauthorized items form.

01:29:23.000 Some woman named Erica.

01:29:25.000 I'll call you Erica N. You sent greeting cards.

01:29:29.000 They are not accepted.

01:29:32.000 Not accepted by the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

01:29:36.000 Also, folks, unauthorized stained paper envelope.

01:29:42.000 So this is from a guy named Mark B. I don't believe Mercedes doesn't believe it was stained, but you know that you can't.

01:29:49.000 I used to send them my kids' drawings sometimes, but they get sent back because they're worried that the markers have LSD or something in them.

01:29:56.000 So you can really just send normal white paper with black ink.

01:30:01.000 Any kind of color they think is something.

01:30:07.000 Gavin, it's so good to speak with you, albeit briefly the other evening.

01:30:10.000 So she means the, I think she means the call where we had it on.

01:30:13.000 She goes, my pub sounds like a great place.

01:30:16.000 I'm glad you've spoken with Randaza lately, Mark Randaza.

01:30:20.000 He's been more accessible to me, for which I am grateful.

01:30:23.000 It's evident to more and more people these days I'm more political prisoner than child abuser.

01:30:30.000 Yes, and that's true of me.

01:30:32.000 I let doubt creep in last week, but then you go over it all and you realize she's a political prisoner just like all my other friends.

01:30:40.000 John, Max, Ethan, Joe.

01:30:47.000 I have four friends in prison.

01:30:48.000 Four political prisoners.

01:30:53.000 But they really tried their best to dismirch me in this Godforsaken place.

01:30:59.000 I've had to wage a Mini war just to be treated fairly.

01:31:02.000 Oh, yeah, because she's known as a child molester in the prison.

01:31:06.000 So you go to this special area so you don't get stabbed.

01:31:09.000 And then the people there who work there hate your guts because they assume you're guilty.

01:31:16.000 There are laundry room serfs, convicts.

01:31:20.000 The people who work there are convicts, the one who treat them like shit.

01:31:24.000 But when you're in productive custody, you're treated really badly.

01:31:26.000 As it is, I still have a blanket that belongs in a hazmat dumpster.

01:31:30.000 It's got bloodstains all over it from some disgusting woman's menstrual blood.

01:31:34.000 And my socks have a huge hole in them.

01:31:36.000 That's right, I have huge holes in them.

01:31:37.000 These are the conditions I'm forced to live in.

01:31:40.000 Jail is much worse in prison, especially San Bernardino County Jail.

01:31:44.000 That's where that cop was shot.

01:31:46.000 Did I mention we only get one set of clothes a week?

01:31:49.000 But we can't buy them, and we only get one blanket and can only exchange it once monthly.

01:31:53.000 They're so broke, this is why they make bail inaccessible.

01:31:56.000 They don't want anyone to leave.

01:32:00.000 And then she talks about the letters that got sent back.

01:32:03.000 She calls bullshit that the letter got stained in transit somehow.

01:32:10.000 My dear friend John, who watches your show, was telling me you show the difference between Russian versus military recruitment ads.

01:32:18.000 I really am so disheartened, but I have to say after this Chauvin verdict, the police should be concerned as their immunity is now removed.

01:32:27.000 They're now culpable for murder for every dumb drug addict that dies on their watch.

01:32:32.000 I'd be finding another profession stat.

01:32:36.000 She writes very fancy, so it's hard to hear.

01:32:38.000 Which reminds me that I got a letter from John recently.

01:32:42.000 I don't know if I can read.

01:32:48.000 Where are we here?

01:32:50.000 Sorry.

01:32:52.000 This JPEG is constantly logging me off and rejecting my credit cards and demanding location accuracy and loading and loading.

01:33:02.000 I'm not a fan, but it's a great way to send them money and to send them letters.

01:33:05.000 Once you get their DIN number, you can just fill up their books with a few clicks and send them a letter.

01:33:14.000 This is from John.

01:33:15.000 Hey, Gavin, I would ask how things are going, but it sounds like that islander with the overwhelming perfume is kind of ruining your good time.

01:33:23.000 You know me, I like to send people messages in prison that are stupid.

01:33:27.000 Like with Tommy Robinson, I talk about fries.

01:33:29.000 And then with my friend with John here, I talk about how at my local, there's this woman from Trinidad.

01:33:35.000 Dude, something is up with my bar these days.

01:33:37.000 I think there's feds all over it.

01:33:40.000 Because this woman comes in from Trinidad.

01:33:42.000 She dresses like she's going to the Academy Awards.

01:33:45.000 She's got her hair up, jewels in her hair, stilettos.

01:33:49.000 Attractive lady.

01:33:50.000 Won't see the body.

01:33:51.000 Bit of a butterface.

01:33:53.000 And she's very uptight.

01:33:55.000 Like she chastised me once for saying fag.

01:33:57.000 I told you that, right?

01:33:58.000 When I'm like, it's illegal to be gay in Trinidad.

01:34:01.000 So I take it easy on the homophobia policing.

01:34:06.000 And she's very like sort of buttoned up, right?

01:34:09.000 It's all disgusting men telling gross jokes.

01:34:09.000 And it's a dive bar.

01:34:11.000 I don't know what the fuck she's doing there.

01:34:12.000 Everyone treats her very well, by the way.

01:34:14.000 So she's doing an expose on a racist bar.

01:34:16.000 It's not going to happen.

01:34:18.000 And the problem with her is her fucking perfume reeks up the entire bar.

01:34:25.000 Like you have to hide in the corner.

01:34:27.000 I hate perfume.

01:34:29.000 All perfume.

01:34:30.000 Despise it.

01:34:31.000 There's no such thing as good perfume.

01:34:34.000 I'm actually getting mad talking about it.

01:34:38.000 So she's coming in and she's coming from Yonkers.

01:34:41.000 So it's like $30 there, $30 back.

01:34:44.000 So $60 to hang out with old men in a dive bar.

01:34:48.000 There's no chance of meeting Mr. Wright.

01:34:51.000 We're all retired and ugly or married.

01:34:54.000 And then there's this other dude who comes in, muscular dude, really friendly, wants to talk, knows who I am, right?

01:34:59.000 Muscular with no tattoos, which is kind of weird in this day and age, don't you think?

01:35:07.000 Like, I know guys that aren't muscular that don't have tattoos, they have low T. But when you have tattoos, when you're big and you don't have tattoos, and you're not like...

01:35:16.000 Cop, Marine.

01:35:18.000 Even Marines get tattoos.

01:35:19.000 Marines get tattoos.

01:35:21.000 It just seems very copy.

01:35:22.000 C-I-A-E.

01:35:24.000 Anyway, he's like this dude who comes in and he doesn't seem to know about a lot of stuff.

01:35:29.000 You know, he's not like an eager beaver who's like, oh yeah, I know that band.

01:35:32.000 That's their third album.

01:35:33.000 You know, people who don't know about stuff, like they don't even know that the font says AE.

01:35:38.000 Okay.

01:35:39.000 And then anytime crime comes up, the guy's a fucking raging expert.

01:35:44.000 So I'm talking to this biker and I go, what are the top four clubs now again?

01:35:48.000 And he's like, I forget what it is.

01:35:50.000 Maybe you could look it up.

01:35:51.000 It's like the Pagans, the Hell's Angels.

01:35:53.000 I think the Banditos.

01:35:55.000 I don't want to disparage anyone here.

01:35:58.000 You know what?

01:35:58.000 I don't think the Banditos are in.

01:36:01.000 Anyway, there's four.

01:36:04.000 And then I go, why not the Banditos?

01:36:06.000 I thought they were a big deal.

01:36:07.000 The Mongols, I think, are one.

01:36:09.000 And he goes, then this guy, Muscle Man with the no tattoos, jumps in.

01:36:15.000 And he's like, oh, yeah, well, the Banditos had that fight with Hell's Angels, and then they got subsumed.

01:36:19.000 They got taken in by the pagans, and then the blah, blah, blah.

01:36:22.000 And you're like, the biker I was talking to, who spent 15 years in the club, knew that.

01:36:29.000 But who the fuck else knows why someone is in the top four if you're not a biker?

01:36:34.000 Is there a non-biker in the entire country who knows who the top four is and why they're in the top four and why someone didn't make the cuts?

01:36:45.000 Doesn't that seem weird?

01:36:47.000 But it gets weirder.

01:36:49.000 So another time we're at the bar and I'm talking with an ex-con who's an older guy.

01:36:53.000 And he goes, yeah, I was in the slammer with this guy.

01:36:57.000 And his name, I had to write it down because I knew I was going to forget.

01:37:01.000 Did I tell you this already?

01:37:02.000 Ricky Ticks?

01:37:03.000 Oh.

01:37:05.000 Maybe I texted it to myself.

01:37:07.000 Shit.

01:37:08.000 I got to get better note-taking.

01:37:13.000 He's called Ticks because he takes a lick at it and keeps on ticking.

01:37:18.000 He's been like shot at.

01:37:21.000 But he was, I forget his name, but it's something, Eric Ticks, Ricky Ticks.

01:37:27.000 Fuck.

01:37:28.000 Sorry about this, guys.

01:37:28.000 This isn't very.

01:37:30.000 Key Styles.

01:37:31.000 We got Key Styles.

01:37:33.000 Christy Tickfernari.

01:37:36.000 So he's in there with Christy Tick Fernari.

01:37:38.000 Dude, Christy Tickfernari was born in 1920.

01:37:41.000 He was like there for prohibition, basically.

01:37:46.000 No one's heard of Christy Tick Fanari.

01:37:49.000 Look at him.

01:37:52.000 When the guy I was talking to was in with him, the guy was in his 90s.

01:37:56.000 And again, Mr. Tattoolist is like, oh yeah, Christy Tick Fanari takes a look and keeps on ticking, huh?

01:38:02.000 What?

01:38:03.000 How do you know who this guy is?

01:38:06.000 Look at all these pictures of him.

01:38:07.000 They're from the fucking 60s.

01:38:10.000 And he's old in them.

01:38:11.000 That's the end of his career.

01:38:14.000 And then it also came out that he was with some other guy named Spanish Carmine.

01:38:19.000 And again, the dude knew who Spanish Carmine is.

01:38:22.000 Whoa.

01:38:23.000 He's a spook.

01:38:24.000 Have you ever heard of the name Spanish?

01:38:25.000 Look up Spanish Carmine.

01:38:27.000 The only person I know who knows any of these people are is named Google.

01:38:32.000 My friend Google's familiar with all these.

01:38:35.000 So now, the thing I keep saying about it is, okay, so say you're a crime nut.

01:38:40.000 Galante.

01:38:41.000 That's who you would be.

01:38:43.000 Like it would come out with other things.

01:38:45.000 Like you'd be talking about the Mets and they go, well, that's a thing.

01:38:48.000 It's like the Gambino family.

01:38:49.000 You know, you got to keep trying and trying.

01:38:51.000 The next thing you know, you're a Scarvesi and then you're as big as like, say, Spanish Carmine.

01:38:56.000 Like it would infiltrate the rest of your conversation, but no.

01:38:59.000 No crime, no crime until we're talking about crime.

01:39:02.000 And then he jumps in with a Google brain.

01:39:07.000 Fishy stuff.

01:39:09.000 And it'll be even fishier if he stops coming to the bar immediately after this episode.

01:39:15.000 Anyway, I'm talking to this buddy of mine about the spooks at the bar.

01:39:20.000 And I realized I'm talking to someone who had the feds chase him down for nine years.

01:39:24.000 And eventually he did a total of 10 years.

01:39:27.000 And it was all thanks to the feds.

01:39:28.000 And they terrorized his fiancé and said, we're going to keep doing this for the rest of your life if you guys get married.

01:39:33.000 We're never going to let it go.

01:39:34.000 So she dumped him.

01:39:36.000 I'm like, maybe I shouldn't be complaining about strange hunches at a bar that have cost me nothing so far when they threw you in prison for bullshit drug charges.

01:39:48.000 So yeah, we want to find out what's going on with Andy No.

01:39:50.000 He's...

01:39:51.000 Wait, what am I talking about?

01:39:52.000 There's this stuff.

01:39:53.000 Oh, you said, you know.

01:39:55.000 So he went to a thing.

01:39:57.000 Yeah, that's a left-wing opinion.

01:39:59.000 I think what might have happened is he got, he was at some Antifa thing.

01:40:05.000 They beat the living shit out of him.

01:40:07.000 His mother had a panic attack and was hospitalized.

01:40:10.000 And his parents have begged him to stop doing this because it's killing them.

01:40:15.000 This is my theory.

01:40:16.000 I just made it up.

01:40:17.000 It's pretty good.

01:40:20.000 Okay.

01:40:21.000 It sounds like that Islander with the overwhelming...

01:40:23.000 This is John Kinsman talking.

01:40:25.000 Ruining your good time.

01:40:26.000 The perfume isn't even good either.

01:40:28.000 It smells like pesticide?

01:40:29.000 It does.

01:40:30.000 It smells like off.

01:40:31.000 And again, sorry to go off at a wild tangent.

01:40:34.000 I like to keep it light.

01:40:35.000 So I talk to Tommy about fries.

01:40:37.000 I talk to this about perfume.

01:40:38.000 The story I just told you, I don't think I would even tell because it's too crime-laden and it might get censored.

01:40:43.000 I just talk about stupid shit.

01:40:45.000 Like I got some fucking vintage Air Jordans and they hurt my feet.

01:40:49.000 I stopped wearing them.

01:40:51.000 Next time she comes in the bar with that bullshit, you can do what I do.

01:40:55.000 Dig your finger all up your ass, then pick your nose.

01:40:57.000 It works every time.

01:40:59.000 Good to know.

01:41:00.000 So this inmate walks into his cube and since he doesn't have a belt, his pants fell down, underwear included.

01:41:05.000 Then he bends over to pick up his pants, but he slipped and fell on his bed.

01:41:10.000 I guess somebody balanced a 24-ounce bottle on his bed standing upside down and he accidentally fell on it, asshole first.

01:41:18.000 It went up his ass all the way, fat end first, and got stuck.

01:41:24.000 He figured he would shit it out later, but when it didn't come out, he decided to go to the infirmary and have it removed.

01:41:31.000 That's the official story.

01:41:34.000 Another inmate got a visit from his wife.

01:41:37.000 When done, he had to get searched on the way out.

01:41:39.000 It involves getting butt-naked, spreading your fingers and toes, yanking open your mouth, picking up your balls, separating the testicles from the shaft, and spreading your butt cheeks while the CEO looks really closely.

01:41:49.000 Well, when this inmate spread his butt cheeks, the CEO sees a hemorrhoid.

01:41:53.000 He thinks it's drugs.

01:41:58.000 So he tackles the guy, calls in other CEOs, and tells them to hold the inmate down and open his ass.

01:42:03.000 Now the CEO, oh God, is digging around up his inmate's asshole, trying to get a good grip on this hemorrhoid.

01:42:11.000 And this inmate is kicking and screaming, crying, ah, please stop.

01:42:14.000 That's all me.

01:42:15.000 Anyone who hasn't had a hemorrhoid before can sympathize with this story.

01:42:20.000 Dude, it is the Vietnam of butt disease.

01:42:24.000 Like, I'll be laughing and someone will be like, I had a hemorrhoid, and I'll just stop and sort of go, thank you for your service.

01:42:30.000 Sorry, bad timing to be making your army jokes.

01:42:33.000 But dude, it's heavy shit.

01:42:36.000 Literally.

01:42:37.000 It fucking, have you ever had hemorrhoids?

01:42:40.000 I don't know.

01:42:41.000 Oh, you know.

01:42:41.000 I don't think so.

01:42:42.000 I would know.

01:42:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:44.000 The best it feels is there's a bug about this big up your ass 24 hours a day.

01:42:50.000 Jesus.

01:42:51.000 Kind of moving a little bit.

01:42:52.000 That's the best.

01:42:53.000 Oh, that's terrible.

01:42:54.000 When you shit, it feels like it's being torn out.

01:42:57.000 When you sit certain ways.

01:42:59.000 God.

01:42:59.000 It just kills.

01:43:00.000 When a bug in your anal lips is the best of your day, it lasts forever.

01:43:08.000 Tickles at best.

01:43:10.000 Tickles at, but a blunt sort of...

01:43:13.000 Wow.

01:43:13.000 It's not a tickle.

01:43:14.000 That sucks.

01:43:15.000 It's an invasion.

01:43:18.000 The CEO has a grip and he's just tugging and tugging, yelling, release, release.

01:43:23.000 Then finally, oh, God, he just gives a full forearm, bicep, shoulder, chest, back yank with all his might and rips the...

01:43:34.000 Rips the inmate's hemorrhoid out.

01:43:37.000 Which actually might be good.

01:43:39.000 Right.

01:43:40.000 He just did him a favor.

01:43:41.000 So the moral of the story is that if you have hemorrhoids that you need removed, the Bear Hill COs will help you with that.

01:43:48.000 Hopefully you laughed as hard as I did.

01:43:50.000 That's enough, mail.

01:43:50.000 All right.

01:43:51.000 We got to wrap it up here.

01:43:52.000 Let's go to the final video.

01:44:11.000 Final videos.

01:44:12.000 I'm going to give you three today.

01:44:14.000 Let's start with the problem with dining outside.

01:44:16.000 And as my friend Anthony Cumia pointed out, this guy already has crutches leaning up against his chair.

01:44:24.000 So he's already in pain.

01:44:26.000 Hear some noise and ceases to be.

01:44:32.000 So is that the yeah, that's a tire from a car?

01:44:40.000 Yeah, it sure is.

01:44:46.000 Whoosh.

01:44:49.000 What's the stick there?

01:44:55.000 Why are you laughing?

01:44:57.000 Because the sonic sounds are really on point.

01:45:00.000 Oh, I didn't hear that.

01:45:00.000 It's from a video game Sonic, yeah.

01:45:11.000 God hates that guy.

01:45:13.000 Yeah, he must have done something bad.

01:45:14.000 Probably Chop Melester.

01:45:16.000 True.

01:45:17.000 Also, in the news, moose are fucking huge.

01:45:19.000 I remember tree planting, and I always had my head down, and I look up and I thought, I don't know what the fuck that is.

01:45:27.000 It didn't have its horns.

01:45:29.000 I don't know how big I thought a moose was, but this was not it.

01:45:32.000 Look at that fucking beast.

01:45:34.000 Is this real?

01:45:35.000 Yes.

01:45:36.000 What the fuck?

01:45:38.000 No, they go out in the middle of the road because they need the wind because the black flies are eating them alive.

01:45:44.000 And they just need one, just give me one break with some wind.

01:45:51.000 Have you seen one that big before?

01:45:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:53.000 So imagine that without its horns, and it's as close to me as that camera.

01:45:57.000 So I'm down like this, down like this, and I just go, what?

01:46:02.000 And I was just like, this is clearly an alien.

01:46:04.000 I mean, the head, the head is like the size of a toddler.

01:46:08.000 What the?

01:46:09.000 The entire head.

01:46:10.000 And then without the horns, there's no contacts.

01:46:13.000 So I just see this huge long head and I go, holy fucking shit.

01:46:17.000 Aliens have made contact.

01:46:19.000 Wow.

01:46:20.000 Is everybody on this planet a tree planter?

01:46:23.000 Those who have read Death of Kool know that what I'm talking about.

01:46:27.000 Oh, the shedding is rough, but the mating season is really rough where they're fighting other males for ladies' attention.

01:46:35.000 And they're happy to kill you if you want to get in the way.

01:46:41.000 You don't want to mess with the moves, I guess.

01:46:43.000 You'd like to leave them alone and treat them right, correctly.

01:46:43.000 Nope.

01:46:47.000 Good, good.

01:46:48.000 You learned your lesson.

01:46:48.000 Yes.

01:46:49.000 And lastly, Elliot Page is a boy now.

01:46:54.000 So she's joining our troop, right, guys?

01:46:56.000 So she should get used to boy culture.

01:46:58.000 Oh, sorry.

01:46:58.000 Elliot.

01:46:59.000 Yeah, Elliot, right?

01:47:01.000 What's her male name?

01:47:02.000 Ellen.

01:47:03.000 Elliot?

01:47:03.000 Elliot's the male.

01:47:04.000 Ellen Page.

01:47:05.000 Ellen Page was her name.

01:47:06.000 Now that she's Elliot, if you're watching, this is what guys do.

01:47:10.000 This is who we are.

01:47:11.000 This defines us.

01:47:12.000 So get ready to join ours as we whip eggs at a guy sleeping.

01:47:19.000 They got him first try.

01:47:23.000 They got him right in the ear that time.

01:47:26.000 That's a really good throw.

01:47:30.000 You know it's their first try because if they missed him before, he would have woken up.

01:47:34.000 Right, right.

01:47:35.000 And dude, get in the water.

01:47:37.000 I've watched this 752,000 times.

01:47:42.000 How many times?

01:47:43.000 752,000.

01:47:45.000 700 billion and a trillion 300 million billion.

01:47:49.000 That's a perfect summary.

01:47:51.000 Folks, thanks for tuning in.

01:47:52.000 Same time tomorrow.

01:47:53.000 We shall be here and we shall be queer.

01:47:56.000 I want to get into interable relationships.

01:47:58.000 I think that's a really fun pursuit for tomorrow.

01:48:01.000 And until then, please remember to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:48:29.000 The bird witches the ballkeepers.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 01, 2021

S03E114 - CUCKBUDDIES

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