In this episode of Dad's Day Off, the boys are back from their trip to Washington, D.C., and the boys talk about their favorite Christmas gifts they got. Plus, a new book by Jeffrey Brown and an interview with a man who thinks he might be a ventriloquist.
Transcript
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00:01:03.000Anyway, we played band in DC because we were just back from DC and we're obviously banned.
00:01:09.000You'll notice that a desk is replete with souvenirs, including the Millennia mug and some sort of bald eagle, snow globe that's a glitter globe, Secret Service truck.
00:01:22.000I got this for my son, and he played with it for about one minute.
00:02:26.000Today's book is a graphic novel by Jeffrey Brown.
00:02:29.000Jeffrey Brown was a kid who went to Chicago art school and he was kind of a hoity-toity rich kid, upper middle class, doing classic paintings and landscapes and very fancy.
00:02:42.000And then he goes, I think I like comic books.
00:02:45.000Now he does children's comic books because he has a kid.
00:02:49.000And it's sort of like when actors have kids, they want to be in kids' movies.
00:02:54.000I'm actually reading this book to my kid right now.
00:02:58.000Oh, no, it's a different Lucy and Andy Neanderthal.
00:03:00.000But it's weird because he has this autobio background where he talks about losing his virginity and doing drugs and naked chicks and whatever.
00:03:09.000In a very low-key beta male cartoonist way.
00:03:12.000These guys, I was a cartoonist when I was a young man.
00:03:15.000And I was the only one to do stories about like banging abroad and doing Coke and then falling, get in a fight.
00:03:20.000They're all like, I listened to the music.
00:06:24.000But the mayor, the head of the public schools, they're both fuckhead socialist morons who are obsessed with affirmative action and race and punishing everyone else.
00:09:04.000Anyway, we're feeding him beers and stuff, and we were drinking Presidente, and he's like, so I get in there, I'm freaking out, and I hand him a beer, and he's like, yo, Presidente, Dominican beer, never been.
00:09:15.000Ever since that day, we always, every time we talk about a place we haven't seen, we say, never been.
00:09:20.000Anyway, that's a fucking boring tangent.
00:12:46.000And I bet I could listen to a conversation with Louis C.K. And it would be funnier than this Mark Norman bit that he worked on and worked on and polished and spent like probably a year getting down to just his best jokes.
00:13:52.000But you guys, we're not going to play the whole thing, but you guys got to look this up on your own.
00:13:55.000It's just the highest quality radio I've ever heard.
00:13:58.000And there's still those people out there that think Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney are actually lizards who, I mean, literally, there's people that think they're lizards from outer space.
00:14:54.000But the catch-22 is, so you either chip away at your base or you are now responsible for everything a proud boy has ever said or anyone who might have been perceived as a proud boy, like Jason Kessler, who infiltrated the group and was immediately booted out after lying,
00:16:27.000There's two major highlights from the censored.tv presents.
00:16:30.000One, while I was at Walter Reed Hospital for Trump, I was just goofing around and I said, I invented Proud Boys, trying to get people to notice me.
00:16:40.000And this woman finds out and she's hysterical.
00:17:24.000So we were joking around pretending, well, we actually thought it would be really funny to do a tour of DC for free for locals and film it and just make up facts about, that's the world's first bank.
00:17:38.000For 10 minutes before we started recording, too.
00:17:41.000Yeah, and then doubled over the line and goes, why are we wasting this bit?
00:17:44.000So then we started recording and kept doing a tour.
00:17:49.000And then the Syrian Goomba, which was a demographic I was not familiar with, comes up and starts going, why do they fucking want to talk to you, make you look like a bad guy?
00:29:17.000The anti-Semitic threats targeting our Jewish community and community centers are horrible and are painful and a very sad reminder of the work that still must be done with hate and prejudice and evil.
00:29:38.000About the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists, because they should be condemned totally.
00:29:44.000We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry, and violence.
00:30:11.000Including the Fake Fake Day, neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans.
00:30:23.000Those who spread violence in the name of bigotry strike at the very core of America.
00:30:30.000Love for America requires love for all of its people.
00:30:36.000When we open our hearts to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice, no place for bigotry, and no tolerance for hate.
00:30:49.000We have it in our power, should we so choose, to lift millions from poverty, to help our citizens realize their dreams, and to ensure that new generations of children are raised free from violence, hatred,
00:34:49.000Like, the turnouts are a huge deal because in 2016, we heard he was a loser and no one likes him and no one comes to his rallies and Hillary's kicking ass.
00:38:48.000But because they're for justice and they were hit by a truck, they make it into this thing about how he's a Trump supporter and we're here for Black Lives Matter.
00:38:59.000But it wasn't obvious they were for Black Lives Matter.
00:39:01.000It's just a huge mob of people on bikes.
00:39:04.000So it could have been a black dude in a truck getting mad.
00:39:07.000At the same time, wait, go back to my wrong link there.
00:39:53.000So they frame it as it was a Trump supporter.
00:39:57.000But then around the same time, well, actually that night, so, oh, sorry, very early that morning, like 6 a.m. or something, there was an Asian woman riding her bicycle.
00:41:03.000We see that all over New York City, Harlem, Brooklyn.
00:41:12.000So with the Asian girl, they know they can't do the Trump thing, so they say, it's about bicycle safety.
00:41:19.000That's what we need more bicycle safety.
00:41:21.000Bicycle safety, you can't go more than 15 miles an hour in New York unless you're on the sidewalk or ripping through someplace at 6 a.m. on an ATV.
00:41:31.000Legally, if you follow the rules, just like legal guns, you can't really do anything in New York.
00:41:38.000At four in the morning, you can go from the financial district, World Trade Center, bottom of New York, out the top through Harlem in maybe 25 minutes.
00:41:50.000Any other time, sorry, 5 in the morning.
00:41:53.000Any other time, it's a two-hour journey.
00:41:56.000So cyclists are doing great in New York.
00:41:59.000I just brought that up to talk about the false narrative.
00:42:22.000Number one topic in the country still.
00:42:27.000Basically, when something comes along that helps Trump, whether it's Twitter and him going like that or an animal house men's club that is having a gay old time, they have to make it evil.
00:42:40.000Now, the ways you make things evil are pedophilia, Nazi, or gay.
00:42:45.000The pedophilia and the gay thing seems to work with really uptight rednecks.
00:42:49.000It obviously doesn't work with the left.
00:44:49.000Just not to hear his voice for a single goddamn second.
00:44:57.000So these tourists that are excited to be in New York City from the Midwest and get to see SNL live, and they're like, yeah, we voted for him.
00:47:19.000Gay men have taken over the Proud Boys hashtag.
00:47:22.000And the beauty of Allah Al-Assar, who's a Muslim, by the way, why don't you do an article on how your cousins feel about gays?
00:47:30.000And focus on exactly what building they want to throw them off of.
00:47:35.000Because I have a feeling you're not quite as damning when it comes to your family's opinion or your neighbor's opinion or your home country's opinion on gays.
00:50:13.000It's like, let's ruin Proud Boys by saying they're friends with blacks.
00:50:17.000It's like that dude Brandon I told you about, who I used to hang out with Jay Johnson, what was his name, Jerry Minor, and his buddy Brandon every time I went to LA.
00:50:27.000And then when all this shit hit the fan the first time, I guess this is 2016, he contacted me.
00:50:33.000Maybe I was still on Facebook them, DM me or something.
00:51:00.000And he goes, I'm going to show all your fucking white supremacists, proud boys, you, me, and Jerry hanging out.
00:51:08.000Maybe don't take advantage, like, don't assume that this ridiculous narrative is true before you start fighting for it.
00:51:14.000It's like that dude, Tail, who tried to blackmail me for a picture of a dick in my mouth, and he didn't have the picture because it doesn't exist.
00:52:39.000About a month later, a bunch of gays started kissing each other in their own living rooms with their own boyfriends to say, fuck you, Pulse.
00:55:11.000And judging by this attack, I'm starting to think that the LGBT has an IQ problem.
00:55:21.000Like the Paul shooting when Work for Peace, this is a Jewish gentleman who wears tiny shorts, there he is, and Robin Williams suspenders and a woman's bathing suit.
00:55:32.000He saw the dead bodies in Orlando and said, that's it.
00:57:10.000What if gays, gay guys took pictures of themselves making out with each other doing very gay things, then tagged themselves with Proud Boys?
01:01:20.000And he's determined, his entire career is determined to show that he has feck and he is not feckless.
01:01:28.000Proud Boys are dangerous white supremacist groups, says, say, U.S. agencies.
01:01:32.000So he's going back to that file that was in like 2016, 17 in Vancouver, Washington, where they wanted to get rid of this chick who was a Proud Boys girl cop.
01:01:46.000And in the private local documents, the guy said, yeah, I got rid of her, not because she's a nightmare, because he didn't want to get sued.
01:01:56.000So he said, because she's part of an extremist group as labeled by the FBI.
01:02:00.000And then that went public by the Freedom of Information Act.
01:02:03.000And then the FBI said, that's not true.
01:02:06.000I don't know what the fuck that old cop who didn't want to get sued is talking about.
01:02:10.000But losers like Jason Wilson hold on to that story and repeat it, not because they care about the truth and not because they don't know that the FBI said that never happened.
01:02:37.000It's a blonde kid in a suit in a convertible who shows up at Jeff's roofing job at 8 a.m. and then goes by his house and starts harassing his family.
01:12:18.000You make someone else the least bit uncomfortable and lose your job.
01:12:20.000By the way, speaking of homosexuals, living in New York City, working with gays all the time, especially in advertising and media, there was constant like, oh my God, I love a piss of that.
01:14:27.000But you're not dying in a battleground with like shrapnel in your knee and trench foot and slowly succumbing to dysentery and an infection.
01:14:57.000And they have me kissing Milo with Trump supporters everywhere at the site of the pulse nightclub shooting and then military gaze trying to blow our minds.
01:17:04.000Yeah, a bunch of skinheads wore them in the 80s.
01:17:07.000They represent maybe 1% of everyone who's ever worn a Fred Perry.
01:17:12.000But because in this, we're living in the fucking Salem witch trials, anyone who said the word witch once might be burned at the stake.
01:17:23.000I'm preaching to the converted on this show.
01:17:25.000It's a funny thing that we're so separated, you know, as a nation, because I say things to you guys like, just because you wear a Fred Berry doesn't mean you're a Nazi skinned.
01:17:33.000And you go, yeah, thanks for the heads up there, Gav.
01:17:37.000And then if you say that outside of our world, they go, that's not true, actually.
01:18:00.000She then paraphrased Vox, HuffPo, Faggoty Hipster Murder podcast, and I had the civic duty of telling her, their readers, listeners, that Prowd Boys is evil Nazis.
01:18:10.000She even gave an example of some faux access type who used to like the Proud Boys when it was funny, but now they've gone too far.
01:18:18.000I retorted by showing her the tenants.
01:18:32.000A tenant with an A. The one thing that drives me fucking mental about this club is that not one prowboy seems to understand the difference.
01:18:43.000Pictures of Enrico Tario spelled wrong and other things.
01:18:46.000All she could say to me was, Tomato, Tomato, you have your opinions, I have mine.
01:21:58.000This is Andy, another 900-mile-along letter.
01:22:04.000Hey, Gavin and Rye, First of Machine Zone would please point out that if our great and servant president said, oh, I love the Proud Boys, they might be the best group of patriots ever, possibly the best of all time.
01:22:12.000Every single Proud Boy that is known to man would have been doxxed at the very least.
01:22:16.000And we know some of the more prominent fellows, including you, even though you're technically no longer, would have been a bigger target on you guys than you already have.
01:22:26.000I thought that was also why he said in Charlottesville, he's like, there was good people on both sides.
01:22:29.000He was, or else anyone who went to Charlottesville, including the people who went there because they thought statues shouldn't be taken down, would have been fucking murdered.
01:22:39.000So it gets to the point where the left gets a B in their bonnet and you say, well, should I make this the hill to die on?
01:22:47.000I'm contradicting myself on this show because I'm saying Trump was right to stab us in the back and I'm saying cops shouldn't join Proud Boys or they'll get fired.
01:22:56.000At the same time, I'm saying always say the truth and get fired.
01:30:12.000If you're tenacious enough, you deserve to be in.
01:30:14.000Part of the initiation is being able to track them down.
01:30:17.000Hey, Rice Balls, we had a birthday party for my daughter on Saturday, and they spontaneously started chanting, burn the mask, burn the masks.
01:30:59.000Somebody tweeted it and it said, Baron Trump is ready to lead this fucking badass raptor and the huge titted Amazonian spear hunting woman.