Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E49 - JOE ROGAN'S EXPERIENCE [2020-12-08 - S03E49

00:00:57.000 That was the body snatchers with the smash hit ruder than you.

00:01:02.000 Fantastic band and a fantastic example of assimilation.

00:01:07.000 That's not a good link.

00:01:08.000 That's just some chick who made a shitty QuickTime video of the song with a bunch of rude girls in it.

00:01:14.000 Modern rude girls.

00:01:15.000 But the rude girls thing was in the 70s.

00:01:19.000 And it was Jamaicans who kicked the British out in 1969, tried it for a few years and went, this sucks.

00:01:26.000 Can you come back?

00:01:27.000 And Britain went, no.

00:01:29.000 And they went, can I come over there?

00:01:30.000 And they went, I guess.

00:01:32.000 So they had a massive influx of what they called yardies.

00:01:36.000 And it was a lot of Jamaicans coming in.

00:01:38.000 And they assimilated quite well.

00:01:40.000 They already drank Guinness.

00:01:41.000 They already loved football.

00:01:42.000 And they did, I mean, there was riots and stuff for like a couple days.

00:01:47.000 Nothing close to what we've experienced the past six months.

00:01:52.000 And they made this fantastic ska music that was mostly Jamaican and had, oh shit, I got my stupid mask thing on.

00:01:59.000 Oh, well, who cares?

00:02:01.000 You know, I don't wear this as a general rule.

00:02:04.000 In fact, me and my buddy Ron, our new thing is giving people shit.

00:02:08.000 Like, excuse me, why are you wearing a mask?

00:02:11.000 Give people shit for wearing masks.

00:02:13.000 However, if you're going to the boxing gym or a pub where they require it, you don't want the guy to lose his license.

00:02:18.000 That's like going to someone's house.

00:02:20.000 And if they have that rule, I'll follow it.

00:02:23.000 But as far as walking down the street, fuck you.

00:02:26.000 Fuck you and fuck your fucking gay shit, fucker.

00:02:32.000 But yeah, check out the next one after that link.

00:02:36.000 So that song was Ruder Than You about being a rude girl.

00:02:39.000 And I wanted to use it for Katie Hopkins' new show, but I can't afford it.

00:02:45.000 So I have my guy, Bry, do a song inspired by it.

00:02:50.000 You can barely tell the difference.

00:02:51.000 For Larry's fights, that's not Eye of the Tiger.

00:02:54.000 That's like Nose of the Tiger.

00:03:05.000 That's free.

00:03:08.000 Well, I give Brian a membership.

00:03:10.000 But I didn't realize they were an all-girl band.

00:03:12.000 What a perfect song for Rude Britannia.

00:03:16.000 An all-girl band.

00:03:17.000 Can we see that?

00:03:18.000 What are you doing?

00:03:21.000 That's actually the selector that you see at the beginning.

00:03:23.000 And that's the specials with Terry.

00:03:27.000 And that's just random mods.

00:03:32.000 And that's just Black SNM.

00:03:35.000 Very happy with that.

00:03:36.000 Good work, Ryan.

00:03:37.000 That was all Ryan Katsu Rivera, Monty Python-inspired.

00:03:41.000 I tried to follow your vision as best as I could.

00:03:45.000 I threatened to kill his family this morning, so he's going to be very well-behaved.

00:03:49.000 Today's book, Jonah Goldberg, The Tyranny of Clichés.

00:03:55.000 His first book was Liberal Fascism.

00:03:58.000 I once made him do a spit take at Fox News in the green room.

00:04:03.000 Snakes on a Plane had just come out.

00:04:05.000 And it was on TV in the green room, some commercial for it.

00:04:09.000 And I go, oh, phew, I'm really glad they didn't go with their working title.

00:04:13.000 And he goes, what was that?

00:04:14.000 Niggers are scared of snakes.

00:04:21.000 See, they say there's no time where the N-word you can use it as a white person.

00:04:25.000 That was one of the times.

00:04:26.000 That was pretty good.

00:04:29.000 And then in 2012, he put out this book, The Tyranny of Clichés.

00:04:33.000 And it's a very interesting book to read now because we are now under the tyranny of lies.

00:04:42.000 Now it's just lies.

00:04:44.000 Now it's like Trump said that everyone in the military is a loser and they suck shit.

00:04:51.000 That's not a controversial opinion.

00:04:52.000 That's just a lie.

00:04:54.000 Or they go, he'll say they're sending a disproportionate number of rapists.

00:04:58.000 And they go, so all Mexicans are rapists?

00:05:00.000 No, I didn't say that.

00:05:01.000 I just saw when we were, the reason I played the body snatchers is because we're working on a commercial for Katie Hopkins.

00:05:06.000 And I just saw, we're looking at clips of Katie on news shows.

00:05:09.000 And there was one where she said that Muslims in Britain are disproportionately represented in the crime stats.

00:05:14.000 And then the interviewer turns to me and says, Katie, you can't really believe that, that all immigrants are criminals.

00:05:20.000 That's the exact same lie.

00:05:22.000 She didn't say that.

00:05:24.000 So we're just sitting here defending the opposite of the truth.

00:05:28.000 That's not really a cliché.

00:05:29.000 Like in this book, he's talking about clichés like one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, which isn't true.

00:05:38.000 But now it's like bin Laden is a freedom fighter.

00:05:56.000 Katie, surely you must agree with that in some sense.

00:05:58.000 You can't believe that all immigrants are criminals and rapists.

00:06:01.000 They're no worse than anybody else, surely.

00:06:03.000 I think there's no way, there's no chance I'll ever agree with a single word that comes out of Mo's little face.

00:06:10.000 You know, ultimately, what he loves to do is sling a label around xenophobe, far-right, Islamophobe.

00:06:16.000 Get ready for it because he loves to label people.

00:06:20.000 Okay, are we ready to start the show?

00:06:22.000 Front page of the post today.

00:06:24.000 Fury Road.

00:06:25.000 Our man Danny running over cops, breaking their legs.

00:06:30.000 That's a lie.

00:06:31.000 First of all, why did he get out with no bail if he ran over a cop and broke his legs?

00:06:37.000 That's a felony.

00:06:38.000 He'd be looking at half a million bucks.

00:06:41.000 What happened was they yelled his name.

00:06:44.000 What's his name?

00:06:44.000 Presty.

00:06:45.000 Hey, Presty!

00:06:46.000 Presty!

00:06:48.000 And they start charging at him, not in front of the bar, but two blocks away.

00:06:52.000 So he goes, oh, fuck, someone's trying to shake me down.

00:06:55.000 Are these some lunatics trying to kill me?

00:06:57.000 So he gets in his car and drives away.

00:06:59.000 They jump on the car as it drives away.

00:07:01.000 They were coming at him, Danny Prest, like it was like Roger Stone.

00:07:08.000 And why is that?

00:07:09.000 Because that bar is so dangerous?

00:07:11.000 Because the bar is a super spreader?

00:07:12.000 No, because Cuomo has, the dictator has made a dictum.

00:07:16.000 And that is that Danny Presti must be shut down.

00:07:20.000 And Cuomo did his stupid fucking Queens thing that he does.

00:07:24.000 He did it to me.

00:07:25.000 Oh, tough guy, eh?

00:07:26.000 I'm from Queens.

00:07:27.000 I'd like to see you come out here.

00:07:28.000 And then for this thing, he goes, oh, a tough guy, huh?

00:07:30.000 Running over cops with a car.

00:07:32.000 Yeah, you're a coward.

00:07:33.000 Not a tough guy.

00:07:33.000 I'm a tough guy.

00:07:35.000 Dude, you have nipple rings, and you don't fuck your wife.

00:07:38.000 She dumped you for not being interested because you like to get pegged.

00:07:42.000 Sex is like not a big deal.

00:07:46.000 I couldn't hear that.

00:07:47.000 Sex is like not a big deal.

00:07:50.000 You're right, Ryan.

00:07:52.000 It's not a big deal.

00:07:52.000 And I don't really care if some guy has gay proclivities.

00:07:55.000 But, and I'm assuming, just word out to the lawyers, I saw what looks like nipple rings.

00:08:02.000 And there's no way, as far as I'm concerned, someone with nipple rings doesn't get fucked up the ass by their wife.

00:08:06.000 And women don't like that.

00:08:08.000 You know, like these guys that like women to sit on their face?

00:08:11.000 Like not just sit on their face, but like sit on their face.

00:08:14.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:15.000 Not just like lick my pussy from this particular angle.

00:08:17.000 Dominate.

00:08:18.000 Suffocate me.

00:08:19.000 Women don't like that.

00:08:20.000 They're not turned on by dominating dudes.

00:08:22.000 They'll do it.

00:08:24.000 There's a market for everything.

00:08:26.000 But a marriage can't last if the man is not the dominant sexual partner.

00:08:30.000 And it seems to me that Mario Cuomo was not the dominant sexual partner.

00:08:35.000 Both of those guys seem like bullshit pussies.

00:08:37.000 And Chris Cuomo, with his 100-pound weight behind his head.

00:08:42.000 Have you ever tried to lift one of those things?

00:08:44.000 Yep.

00:08:44.000 The 50 pounds are pretty rough.

00:08:46.000 The 50 pounds are a nightmare.

00:08:49.000 100 pounds?

00:08:50.000 I know I'm not a bodybuilder, but talk to a bodybuilder.

00:08:52.000 Talk to someone who's fucking ripped.

00:08:54.000 Talk to the rock and say, hey, The Rock.

00:08:58.000 Can you hold this and then go like this, like you're jerking off the back of your head?

00:09:02.000 And he'll go.

00:09:02.000 Like you're saying, like you're saying, that's true.

00:09:09.000 That's true.

00:09:10.000 This is a lie.

00:09:11.000 Again, lies.

00:09:12.000 The tyranny of lies.

00:09:14.000 So this book from 2012, eight years ago, is quaint compared to where we are now.

00:09:22.000 Okay?

00:09:25.000 So I'm trying to get a shirt made by this guy, by the way, where the neck ends here.

00:09:31.000 So you're me.

00:09:33.000 Brian John Spencer.

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:35.000 My body is here, but I have no head because my head is your head.

00:09:39.000 And we're wondering how to incorporate Ryan.

00:09:41.000 I'm like, could he be wrapped around my leg or peeking out from behind me?

00:09:44.000 Because if he's this height and you have no head, I don't know.

00:09:48.000 It's going to look like he's blowing me.

00:09:52.000 That's their only guy.

00:09:54.000 There is.

00:09:55.000 Are you saying you want to fuck me?

00:09:57.000 No, my dad, I guess he doesn't care about me that much.

00:09:59.000 Where he's like, you can go be a fag.

00:10:02.000 That's really not caring.

00:10:08.000 Let's bring that word.

00:10:10.000 I think that word's coming back, and I'm glad.

00:10:12.000 Nigger, that can stay locked up.

00:10:16.000 But the double G's in Faggot, and the T at the end.

00:10:19.000 Otherwise, your joke wouldn't have been that funny.

00:10:22.000 If it wasn't locked up.

00:10:24.000 Yeah.

00:10:24.000 Exactly.

00:10:25.000 It was like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

00:10:27.000 Like, I unleashed that word and Jonah Goldberg's face melted.

00:10:30.000 What are you looking at?

00:10:32.000 I lost internet for sure.

00:10:34.000 Really?

00:10:35.000 Yeah.

00:10:35.000 Have I lost it?

00:10:36.000 I got it.

00:10:37.000 You got it?

00:10:37.000 Yeah.

00:10:40.000 Switch around here.

00:10:42.000 This is a funny thing going around.

00:10:44.000 Some chick in Canada is holding up a $5 bill and a $50 bill, and she's pissed that we keep talking about debts and we don't have money.

00:10:52.000 Here's money.

00:10:53.000 And the only difference between a $5 bill and a $50 bill is that nothing.

00:10:58.000 So why not just make everyone a millionaire?

00:11:02.000 And when she said that, I realized, wait a minute, that's an idiocracy.

00:11:07.000 That's the part where Dwayne Macho Camancho Mountain Dew comes out.

00:11:13.000 He's shooting his assault rifle.

00:11:15.000 Just kidding.

00:11:17.000 Shooting a machine gun at the sky.

00:11:19.000 And he goes, and everyone gets a million dollars.

00:11:22.000 She doesn't understand this basic premise.

00:11:26.000 Hey, so you know what I don't fucking understand?

00:11:29.000 This is what I don't understand.

00:11:31.000 See this?

00:11:32.000 See this?

00:11:33.000 Inflation.

00:11:35.000 This is worth $50?

00:11:38.000 This is worth $5?

00:11:40.000 This is the exact same piece of fucking plastic.

00:11:44.000 This is the same thing.

00:11:45.000 We made up these arbitrary numbers and then we said we can't bring more or else it'll be worthless.

00:11:54.000 How about just don't let it be worthless?

00:11:56.000 How about just don't tell anybody?

00:11:57.000 Let's cancel that.

00:12:00.000 Why charge rent?

00:12:02.000 If no one pays rent, then we're all good, right?

00:12:04.000 Just don't let it inflate.

00:12:06.000 Just don't.

00:12:07.000 Like people, I get it.

00:12:08.000 I get it inflate, but I don't.

00:12:10.000 Like, just don't let it talk.

00:12:12.000 You let this happen.

00:12:13.000 You don't tell meth heads talk.

00:12:15.000 How about you just let everything happen?

00:12:16.000 I wonder if she's on Adderall.

00:12:19.000 Maybe.

00:12:20.000 Deflated.

00:12:20.000 Because Adderall makes women think they can do math.

00:12:24.000 Meth makes you think you can do math.

00:12:26.000 There was a meth head.

00:12:28.000 Remember this?

00:12:28.000 You'll never find it, but it was like early 2000s.

00:12:31.000 She looked kind of Native American.

00:12:33.000 She had no eyebrows, and she was nude.

00:12:36.000 And it was, what's it called?

00:12:38.000 Intervention?

00:12:39.000 Yeah.

00:12:40.000 And she was a fucking smokeshow.

00:12:43.000 She's naked in her garage and she's trying to figure out complex algebra just like on her own.

00:12:50.000 So she's like, like one times one, how can one.

00:12:52.000 She was actually doing some Terryisms.

00:12:55.000 What's his name?

00:12:56.000 The Otis symbol.

00:12:57.000 Terence Howard.

00:12:59.000 Terrence Howard Math.

00:13:00.000 What does he call it again?

00:13:01.000 Terenceology?

00:13:02.000 Teriology.

00:13:03.000 Teriology.

00:13:04.000 She was doing Teriology.

00:13:07.000 But yeah, lady, you need to do less speed, and you need a father in the house to explain to you that all currencies are contingent on limitations.

00:13:16.000 Even when we were cave people and we exchanged little rocks, it was based on the uniqueness of the rock.

00:13:23.000 If the rock isn't unique anymore, it has no value.

00:13:26.000 And we've seen this happen a billion times.

00:13:29.000 But my favorite example, of course, is my favorite dictator Mugabe and Zimbabwe, where he was as dumb as that girl.

00:13:37.000 So he just kept printing money until a hamburger was $14 million.

00:13:43.000 Yeah, this is, it's not in this clip, but this is the, this is the guy.

00:13:49.000 I like that they made him black.

00:13:50.000 That was pretty great.

00:13:56.000 I bet he didn't set this far enough into, I mean, I bet he set this too far in the future.

00:14:01.000 This is going to be like 2030.

00:14:04.000 This is Kanye.

00:14:05.000 This is us in 10 years.

00:14:06.000 This is President Kanye.

00:14:14.000 Shit.

00:14:17.000 I know she's barren.

00:14:18.000 With all that starving bullshit.

00:14:21.000 And the dust storms.

00:14:22.000 And we're running out of French fries and burrito cover movies.

00:14:26.000 No one can figure out why.

00:14:28.000 That's what you said last time, Dimsh.

00:14:38.000 Yeah?

00:14:40.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:14:43.000 Yeah, so the Zimbabwean dollar became so worthless that a cheeseburger was $14 million, and so was a long-distance phone call.

00:14:53.000 They would bring wheelbarrows of money shopping.

00:14:56.000 And eventually they just gave up.

00:14:58.000 I heard once that Pierre Trudeau, sorry, Justin Trudeau's brother, stepbrother, his goal was to invent a global currency.

00:15:05.000 He started a GoFundMe for it.

00:15:08.000 And shit, I might have it on my phone.

00:15:10.000 I can send you.

00:15:11.000 This is the Prime Minister of Canada's brother.

00:15:13.000 He set it up on his phone.

00:15:15.000 I mean, sorry, he had a GoFundMe for it.

00:15:18.000 And he wanted like $200 million.

00:15:20.000 And what he wanted to do was create a global currency.

00:15:24.000 All one, he's a globalist, right?

00:15:27.000 A global currency.

00:15:29.000 And what's amazing about that is there is one.

00:15:34.000 It's called, oh, here it is, the social wallet.

00:15:38.000 It's called the American dollar.

00:15:39.000 You go to Cuba.

00:15:41.000 I'm sending it to you now.

00:15:42.000 You go to Cuba and people are begging on the street.

00:15:45.000 You buy shit with American dollars there because their dollar sucks.

00:15:49.000 You go to Zimbabwe, you use American dollars.

00:15:51.000 The American dollar is a global currency.

00:15:55.000 But check this out.

00:15:56.000 What a numskull.

00:15:58.000 This is the same IQ, the same DNA that is running Canada.

00:16:03.000 So he wants, is that 21 billion?

00:16:09.000 Only 21 million.

00:16:10.000 $21 million.

00:16:11.000 $21 million.

00:16:13.000 Flexible gold.

00:16:14.000 That's actually pretty cheap to change the currency for every country in the world.

00:16:17.000 So even the money he wants is retarded.

00:16:20.000 But he's only raised $1,500.

00:16:23.000 Got a ways to go.

00:16:26.000 And he's had this open for this is a wallet.

00:16:29.000 This is a social wallet.

00:16:32.000 This wallet is a place to store money and identity physically.

00:16:37.000 This wallet is a place to store money and identity digitally.

00:16:41.000 This wallet is different.

00:16:43.000 It uses a new type of money called Bitcoin.

00:16:46.000 Wait.

00:16:46.000 Bitcoin is global internet money that isn't controlled by corporations and governments.

00:16:51.000 So he's trying to invent Bitcoin?

00:16:53.000 Digital money based on math and cryptography.

00:16:56.000 It is the future of money, but to use it, you need a digital wallet.

00:17:00.000 The social wallet charges no fees, ever.

00:17:06.000 The first version of the social wallet is an iPhone app that can be downloaded for free right now.

00:17:11.000 Wait, I think I got this wrong.

00:17:13.000 You don't need a bank.

00:17:15.000 It has no minimums, no maximums.

00:17:17.000 It's secure, but most importantly.

00:17:20.000 So it's just a way to store your Bitcoin.

00:17:22.000 So what's in it for me?

00:17:24.000 Yeah.

00:17:24.000 To be frank.

00:17:25.000 This is my job interview.

00:17:27.000 I want to work for you, and I need your support.

00:17:30.000 Is it right that we pay money to move money?

00:17:34.000 We don't think so.

00:17:36.000 This is a movement, and not a for-profit corporation.

00:17:40.000 Wikipedia digitized the encyclopedia.

00:17:43.000 We are digitizing the wallet.

00:17:45.000 Like Wikipedia, we are raising money through donations.

00:17:48.000 Using the generosity platform by Indy.

00:17:50.000 Okay, so it's a place to store Bitcoin, and he's going to do it for free and live off donations.

00:17:56.000 What a socialist.

00:17:57.000 What a fucking moron.

00:17:59.000 Jesus Christ.

00:17:59.000 That just killed the energy of the show.

00:18:01.000 Let's try to bring things back up from zero.

00:18:04.000 This isn't the method, right?

00:18:06.000 No?

00:18:06.000 Okay.

00:18:07.000 Believe me, and I am always right.

00:18:10.000 I mean, it could have been speed.

00:18:12.000 I don't know what they call it.

00:18:14.000 Blonde, naked, no eyebrows.

00:18:18.000 I would look at General Google first.

00:18:23.000 I'm going to just type it here and then copy paste.

00:18:27.000 I kind of want to see.

00:18:28.000 Was that on Gavin McKinnon show?

00:18:31.000 No, no, no, I don't think so.

00:18:34.000 Everyone was obsessed with her in the early aughts.

00:18:37.000 Oh, man.

00:18:38.000 All right, well, I'll keep looking in between if I can.

00:18:42.000 Yeah, intervention, crazy chick, meth head, no eyebrows.

00:18:47.000 Yeah, that's a better one.

00:18:48.000 Crazy chick, meth head, no eyebrows.

00:18:52.000 Sorry, folks.

00:18:53.000 I'm tempted to restart the show.

00:18:54.000 We've had me misinterpreting a retard's idea.

00:18:59.000 No.

00:19:01.000 Christy from Intervention Update.

00:19:03.000 Wait a second.

00:19:04.000 That's it.

00:19:09.000 An insane amount.

00:19:10.000 That's why you like this.

00:19:12.000 I like how Adam Corolla calls his podcast a pirate ship.

00:19:15.000 This is a pirate ship, and we were just, we were adrift.

00:19:18.000 We were drifting towards the shore.

00:19:20.000 And then we caught a wind, and now we're back.

00:19:22.000 This is awesome.

00:19:23.000 Uh-oh, she's an Indian, so she didn't age very well.

00:19:26.000 Christie's perfect day.

00:19:27.000 Let's try that.

00:19:29.000 This is my type.

00:19:31.000 What I would do is take it, take a couple of shots, two throughout the whole time listening to music.

00:19:40.000 Oh, yeah, but that's everyone's favorite part.

00:19:41.000 Oh, my God, this is taking me back.

00:19:44.000 That's only 2014?

00:19:46.000 No, that must be when they loaded it up.

00:19:47.000 But she goes, take some hits, drop some masks.

00:19:50.000 The whole time listening to music.

00:19:53.000 But the part where she's trying to explain math.

00:19:57.000 Her eyebrows are just beautiful, aren't they?

00:19:59.000 Oh my god, that's awesome, dude.

00:20:01.000 They want you to go.

00:20:04.000 I also want a big pie.

00:20:06.000 They're just so good.

00:20:07.000 Bye, bye.

00:20:08.000 You don't call it cool.

00:20:09.000 Why do we have some music up in this mother?

00:20:11.000 She loves me.

00:20:12.000 The thing is, everybody, I'm just on a permanent good one that none of you guys will ever get to experience.

00:20:20.000 I'm so sorry for you.

00:20:21.000 I really am.

00:20:22.000 Okay?

00:20:25.000 Can we have some more of her?

00:20:26.000 Yes.

00:20:27.000 Yes.

00:20:28.000 I wish she had the garage scene where she's explaining mathematics.

00:20:31.000 Oh, that looks like it, actually.

00:20:32.000 Go up?

00:20:32.000 This one?

00:20:33.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:20:34.000 Mathematics.

00:20:34.000 How'd you skip over that?

00:20:36.000 It just looked so bad quality.

00:20:37.000 It has to be a better one.

00:20:40.000 To me, I am really a god in my eyes because I am truthfully a god.

00:20:49.000 At times, she's the sister of Jesus Christ.

00:20:54.000 Why are you vaping?

00:20:58.000 I told you not to vape in the studio.

00:21:00.000 I'm not, no, I was just doing this.

00:21:01.000 No, you were vaping.

00:21:03.000 No.

00:21:04.000 Dude, don't now I can smell it.

00:21:06.000 I don't like that fucking burnt cherry smell.

00:21:10.000 God, you're such a fucking drug addict.

00:21:12.000 This is you.

00:21:14.000 I was being possessed by the devil or whatever.

00:21:17.000 I love it.

00:21:20.000 God, Jesus name.

00:21:24.000 See, we can do math right now.

00:21:26.000 There we go.

00:21:31.000 Plus a negative equals, I don't know.

00:21:36.000 If I just do one positive plus.

00:21:39.000 She's like a letter.

00:21:40.000 One negative.

00:21:42.000 Yeah, so that brings back to what the is a positive plus a negative.

00:21:47.000 This thing that's in this body, this shell of her now, I don't know who this is.

00:21:55.000 Right now, I'm in like lla.

00:21:59.000 Kind of makes you want to get wasted, doesn't it?

00:22:01.000 Every time I see an intervention, I'm like, I'm going to go get do some shots.

00:22:04.000 It has the opposite effect, I guess, it's supposed to have.

00:22:06.000 Anyway, there's an update on her.

00:22:09.000 Yeah, there was that critical here.

00:22:13.000 Sometimes, Misty, that's my Christie from Intervention.

00:22:18.000 She's not really my type, but I remembered loving her more.

00:22:22.000 Okay, let's just...

00:22:24.000 Brian, you saw, Mr. Fucking Vape Pants.

00:22:26.000 You just saw, when we were looking on earlier, an update on YouTube.

00:22:30.000 Christy, update intervention.

00:22:33.000 Why do I have to dictate your job to you?

00:22:38.000 Oh, no, that looks different one.

00:22:39.000 No, that's not.

00:22:41.000 That's her?

00:22:41.000 Yes.

00:22:42.000 Brunette now with eyebrows.

00:22:44.000 Oh, that doesn't make sense.

00:22:46.000 It was what?

00:22:48.000 20 years ago and she's grown eyebrows?

00:22:50.000 Oh my goodness.

00:22:51.000 I have about two hours to three hours of homework a night.

00:22:55.000 I'm usually up, and I'm a procrastinator, so I'm usually up till one in the morning doing homework.

00:23:00.000 I've been sober and clean now for just a little over six months.

00:23:04.000 I took my six-month chip on the 22nd of September.

00:23:08.000 My life today is 100% better.

00:23:12.000 That's not hurt.

00:23:13.000 I'm healthy.

00:23:13.000 This is intervention campus.

00:23:14.000 This was healed.

00:23:15.000 I have purpose today.

00:23:17.000 You know, getting up every day, going to school, taking care of Austin, you know, keeping in touch with Alex.

00:23:24.000 And my relationship with my family is just phenomenal today.

00:23:28.000 I think the biggest change is my decision to stay out in Kamloops because going back to Windsor for me was not a good idea.

00:23:35.000 Way too many triggers.

00:23:36.000 So being out here has given me the opportunity to grow and do the work for myself.

00:23:39.000 Thank you.

00:23:40.000 We righted the ship and now we fucking crash it again.

00:23:42.000 Let's get back to the news.

00:23:43.000 In today's me news.

00:23:46.000 Nobody can do that like me.

00:23:49.000 He says a me.

00:23:50.000 It's inaccurate.

00:23:50.000 It's shocking.

00:23:51.000 This thing is a fucking Ouija board.

00:23:56.000 This fucking guy stole my thing.

00:23:58.000 One, two.

00:24:00.000 Hot new shirt came out with the tits cut out.

00:24:04.000 Burberry.

00:24:05.000 It's only $289.97.

00:24:08.000 If you think $290 is too much, this is a shirt for you.

00:24:11.000 And you get to show off.

00:24:13.000 Well, in this case, it's PEX.

00:24:14.000 So it seems to be a man, a man's shirt.

00:24:19.000 But this is from my sketch.

00:24:21.000 I invented that shirt, but it's for women.

00:24:24.000 And it was in a thing that's been purged from the media, from YouTube now, from the internet, called If Dudes Ran Fashion.

00:24:33.000 What are you doing?

00:24:34.000 Whoa!

00:24:35.000 Look at you!

00:24:36.000 Alexander Wang.

00:24:38.000 I'm just wearing all my wife's stuff.

00:24:40.000 Obviously, a...

00:24:42.000 You can't tell.

00:24:43.000 Hermes.

00:24:44.000 Hermes, dumbass.

00:24:46.000 She was a really cool actor.

00:24:47.000 I wonder what ever happened to her.

00:24:48.000 Now I'm obsessed with updates.

00:24:51.000 What do you want?

00:24:51.000 You don't even care.

00:24:53.000 I do care.

00:24:54.000 I think you did a wonderful job.

00:24:55.000 You got a bunch of stuff.

00:24:56.000 Guys don't care about fashion.

00:24:58.000 We do.

00:24:58.000 We wanna, we love.

00:25:00.000 It's not like, I don't know a lot about art, but I know what I like and I love the Mimas.

00:25:04.000 I can't even imagine what I'd be wearing if dudes ran the fashion world.

00:25:11.000 That would actually be kind of awesome.

00:25:17.000 But watch the watch.

00:25:19.000 He doesn't.

00:25:22.000 That's a Ryan McGinley picture of Dash Snow that I fucking lost.

00:25:25.000 It's probably worth $5,000.

00:25:27.000 Or maybe it was stolen.

00:25:30.000 That dude's alive.

00:25:31.000 Great guy.

00:25:31.000 The other dude died.

00:25:33.000 That's on a George President.

00:25:35.000 That guy with the beer on his chest.

00:25:36.000 He's dead.

00:25:37.000 That's our old office at Ooster in Dumbo.

00:25:41.000 That's not a hit.

00:25:42.000 That's not a hit.

00:25:43.000 That is not a hit.

00:25:44.000 That's called a fight, dude.

00:25:45.000 Not a punch.

00:25:46.000 That's a fight.

00:25:46.000 When you deliver a Percot, it's not here.

00:25:52.000 So he had some weird disease.

00:25:53.000 He never told anyone about it.

00:25:54.000 Instead of having a GoFundMe and crying about it, he just kept it to himself.

00:25:58.000 And one day, zippity-doodah.

00:26:00.000 He's diddly dead.

00:26:02.000 There's the same piranha.

00:26:04.000 He's not here.

00:26:05.000 You're out of your mind.

00:26:11.000 Guys, it's a closed fizz body blow.

00:26:14.000 Okay.

00:26:15.000 It is almost midnight, and you have no designs for me.

00:26:17.000 Nothing at all.

00:26:18.000 Fashion week starts tomorrow.

00:26:21.000 I'm gonna need some designs by tonight, or we're gonna go bankrupt.

00:26:25.000 I wrote this.

00:26:27.000 Hey, Gavin, how do you design a clothing line and it's ready for fashion week the next day?

00:26:33.000 How do the clothes get manufactured?

00:26:36.000 Did you ever fuck a black guy?

00:26:38.000 I am serious!

00:26:40.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:26:41.000 Okay.

00:26:43.000 God, I hate my job.

00:26:45.000 She's right though, guys.

00:26:46.000 Seriously.

00:26:47.000 We gotta get going.

00:26:48.000 Let's start making some clothes.

00:26:54.000 All right.

00:26:56.000 Let's start with the perfect design, okay?

00:26:59.000 An undershirt.

00:27:00.000 High-heel shoes.

00:27:01.000 High-heel shoes.

00:27:02.000 Okay, okay, that's good.

00:27:03.000 Draw Shulchik first.

00:27:05.000 I can't picture it.

00:27:06.000 That's a soldier.

00:27:06.000 Okay, nice big lips.

00:27:07.000 And then the hair.

00:27:09.000 Big long hair like that.

00:27:13.000 What about holes in the shirt where the titties are?

00:27:18.000 Oh, I like that.

00:27:19.000 Okay.

00:27:20.000 Because she's the guy who made the commercial where she is today.

00:27:23.000 Oh.

00:27:23.000 Yeah, like mean girls.

00:27:25.000 Okay, what about bottoms?

00:27:27.000 Do we want to do a skirt?

00:27:29.000 Do you want to do jeans?

00:27:30.000 Do you want to do...

00:27:30.000 What about ripped up jeans?

00:27:32.000 What about no pants?

00:27:38.000 That's it.

00:27:39.000 Nailed it.

00:27:45.000 So it's a t-shirt with some tit holes and onion tits.

00:27:50.000 It's the perfect outfit.

00:27:51.000 Okay, in TV?

00:27:54.000 Where the world was normal, I'd be writing comedy speakers.

00:27:56.000 Yes.

00:27:56.000 This is quality.

00:27:58.000 So she's nude from the waist down.

00:28:00.000 She's a little nude, but if she has a long one, she could go below her area.

00:28:04.000 That's her colour.

00:28:04.000 Well, okay, so colors, sizes, textiles.

00:28:07.000 Huge variety, okay?

00:28:08.000 I'm glad you asked.

00:28:09.000 For the top, we want from very skinny to super fat, and a huge variety of sizes with the shoes.

00:28:15.000 The top is made out of, I don't know, fucking t-shirt or whatever.

00:28:19.000 And the shoes are leather, I mean, shiny, not too shiny, just your basic high-heel shoes.

00:28:24.000 Right, okay.

00:28:24.000 Well, you don't want any patterns.

00:28:27.000 I'm just kidding, by the way.

00:28:30.000 In my single days, I used to do that, cut the holes out of girls' shirts that I was horsing around with.

00:28:35.000 Wow.

00:28:36.000 Just because it turned me on, because it looked weird.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, it's kind of cool.

00:28:39.000 A little bit of clothes, a little fun.

00:28:41.000 Yeah.

00:28:41.000 I've got a surprise for you after this, guys.

00:28:43.000 Oh.

00:28:44.000 T-shirt.

00:28:44.000 It's normal cloth that people have on.

00:28:47.000 Just use a t-shirt.

00:28:47.000 Yeah.

00:28:48.000 Okay.

00:28:49.000 Let's just use your t-shirt then.

00:28:50.000 Yeah.

00:28:52.000 Crap tattoo.

00:28:53.000 Whoa.

00:28:55.000 I'm so lonely, broke.

00:29:00.000 That blonde chick, the bigger one.

00:29:03.000 She was staying at my buddy's house in his pool house in LA, and her pit rescue pit mauled the maid within an inch of her life.

00:29:11.000 Wow.

00:29:12.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:29:15.000 My heart wanna lonely, bro.

00:29:19.000 Rude in the sack.

00:29:20.000 Hi, I'm here for the casting.

00:29:21.000 Hey, kid, you play basketball?

00:29:23.000 I'm a professional model.

00:29:25.000 And with IMG.

00:29:26.000 What?

00:29:26.000 I thought you were like a teenager.

00:29:28.000 I'm like, this kid's going to make a lot of money one day, right?

00:29:30.000 I thought it was a boy with a high voice.

00:29:32.000 What the fuck is IMG?

00:29:33.000 Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

00:29:35.000 What the fuck is that?

00:29:35.000 That's a good one.

00:29:36.000 He was cute.

00:29:37.000 What the fuck?

00:29:40.000 Warn you that these are not professional models.

00:29:41.000 I don't think they've done runway, so.

00:29:43.000 What about a runway?

00:29:44.000 What are they going to land a fucking plane?

00:29:45.000 They're just hot chicks.

00:29:47.000 Okay, how do you guys feel about hair?

00:29:48.000 What do you guys want?

00:29:49.000 Definitely long, never in a top bun, no buns.

00:29:53.000 Yeah.

00:29:54.000 And makeup?

00:29:55.000 She wears a bun.

00:29:56.000 Don't care.

00:29:57.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:29:58.000 For the makeup, we want a lot of that eyeshadow shit around their eyes.

00:30:04.000 And then for the lips, lipstick.

00:30:07.000 Sure.

00:30:08.000 Red.

00:30:09.000 Yeah.

00:30:10.000 Okay.

00:30:11.000 Don't go crazy with it, though.

00:30:12.000 Not like when it's pancaked on like a fucking clown.

00:30:14.000 No, I like the clown.

00:30:15.000 Yeah, maybe that is good.

00:30:17.000 You guys have a really, this is very helpful.

00:30:19.000 In other words, we don't really know what we want.

00:30:22.000 We just like it when you try.

00:30:24.000 Find a bounce.

00:30:25.000 And if you don't, we can work with that too.

00:30:27.000 Got the makers.

00:30:28.000 Cankeles?

00:30:30.000 No problem.

00:30:30.000 Just thinning hair and pancake tits.

00:30:32.000 Pizza slices.

00:30:33.000 That's about it.

00:30:34.000 Those are the only deal breakers.

00:30:36.000 And not insanely obese, like where your gunt sort of hangs down over your belt like that.

00:30:44.000 That has to be fixed.

00:30:45.000 But we're not kicking you out of bed.

00:30:47.000 No.

00:30:48.000 Just change where the belt is.

00:30:49.000 Put the belt up on her.

00:30:50.000 Put on some spanks.

00:30:54.000 So the two white girls are wearing real, have their real tits out, and the black girl didn't want to, so I found a bikini top online that has nipples on it.

00:31:03.000 So it looks exactly like black tits.

00:31:08.000 You want some fries?

00:31:10.000 You want some dyes?

00:31:11.000 Why not?

00:31:11.000 What are you on?

00:31:12.000 A fucking juice cleanse?

00:31:13.000 Sorry, that was fucking.

00:31:14.000 Oh, shit.

00:31:15.000 No.

00:31:16.000 I can tell her frozen.

00:31:17.000 I don't eat that shit.

00:31:18.000 Terrible actor.

00:31:19.000 You know, everything we did back then had a highly disproportionate number of black people in it because we could only afford like 100 a day for extras.

00:31:28.000 And most white people were like, I make that waitress sing no, no.

00:31:31.000 But black people were usually on welfare.

00:31:33.000 Sorry.

00:31:34.000 But a disproportionate number were.

00:31:36.000 So they beat half that 100 is just gravy.

00:31:38.000 So almost every sketch, my whole movie that got shelved, it looks like it was filmed in Africa.

00:31:45.000 I only eat handcuffed fries.

00:31:47.000 Shoe, I love this chick.

00:31:49.000 What about you?

00:31:51.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:31:53.000 Yo, I love this chick, too.

00:31:54.000 So like, I don't give a shit.

00:31:56.000 Fucking dig in, huh?

00:31:59.000 This is so fucking good.

00:32:01.000 Is this from In N Out?

00:32:02.000 In N Out.

00:32:03.000 I like this sound.

00:32:14.000 This is what I designed as heaven.

00:32:26.000 I've got to hand it to Brian Gaynor and Chad Harbald, who probably don't want to be associated with me anymore, but they would take my ideas and turn it, improve them vastly.

00:32:34.000 Like, I never thought, I don't think I thought of this opera idea.

00:32:53.000 Takes off.

00:32:54.000 As we can see, it did.

00:32:56.000 I predicted it.

00:33:04.000 Nice, racially segregated.

00:33:08.000 This girl was super pretty, but she looks like shit in this clip.

00:33:11.000 I think she'd been up all night party.

00:33:16.000 That's my bike.

00:33:17.000 I still have that bike.

00:33:23.000 I guess I've always had wrinkly eyes.

00:33:30.000 Are you crying?

00:33:34.000 Okay, can I get a blackberry margarita, please?

00:33:37.000 And a water.

00:33:39.000 God.

00:33:41.000 Hey, guys, thanks for checking out our video.

00:33:43.000 Oh, I really hurt them in this.

00:33:45.000 Make sure to check out our feature film, How do you have on Amazon and iTunes?

00:33:49.000 And fucking shut up, boy.

00:33:53.000 Oh, they didn't show it up.

00:33:54.000 Oh, and you pushed them off?

00:33:55.000 Threw him down out of the office and down the stairs.

00:33:58.000 Holy shit.

00:33:59.000 Not really down the stairs, but down a couple steps.

00:34:00.000 I've seen you knock Beckles.

00:34:02.000 There's this one clip.

00:34:03.000 You just like pushed them off the world, basically.

00:34:06.000 I was like, wow.

00:34:07.000 Shoving it.

00:34:08.000 I did not see that coming.

00:34:11.000 Here's those girls without their...

00:34:13.000 I know you're watching that going, I wish I could see those tits without the blur.

00:34:16.000 Well, here it is.

00:34:19.000 You saw it here first, folks.

00:34:21.000 That was the day we were shooting, and I just dug that up.

00:34:24.000 Fantastic tits.

00:34:26.000 Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

00:34:28.000 Wow.

00:34:31.000 Not safe for work, by the way.

00:34:32.000 NFFW, in retrospect.

00:34:34.000 Beth Hoyt was the name of the girl in that.

00:34:37.000 I wonder how her career is doing.

00:34:43.000 Let's see.

00:34:46.000 Comedian?

00:34:47.000 See, all these people that I had a great relationship with, if I were to text her right now, I would bet you $1 million.

00:34:54.000 Even if I said, hey, Beth, I found $100 that you left at my house.

00:34:58.000 She would never respond.

00:35:00.000 I married the wrong guy.

00:35:02.000 Uh-oh.

00:35:02.000 2019.

00:35:04.000 We're at this time of year again.

00:35:06.000 Here we are about 150,000 views.

00:35:10.000 That's great.

00:35:11.000 That's a successful young lady.

00:35:14.000 Let's all on the count of three.

00:35:16.000 Let's all say our favorite past voice winner.

00:35:20.000 Three, two.

00:35:23.000 I have in my apartment, I have a blue, headless, armless mannequin.

00:35:31.000 Who else?

00:35:35.000 And I got her, I bought her to Flea Market because she was really...

00:35:38.000 Such a good scout.

00:35:40.000 And such a good scout.

00:35:42.000 I saw her, whatever, 15 years ago, and I just went, I got a good feeling about this chick.

00:35:48.000 She's different.

00:35:48.000 She's quality.

00:35:50.000 We're a sexist show.

00:35:51.000 All we do is shit on female comedians.

00:35:53.000 And her, I'm watching, and I'm like, she's got the magic.

00:35:55.000 I could spot the magic.

00:35:58.000 Like Jimmy Kimmel says, you have it.

00:36:00.000 I don't know what it is, but you have it.

00:36:02.000 And you're getting good at it, if you will.

00:36:04.000 Dang it.

00:36:05.000 And I have friends over, and she doesn't even have a phone, you know?

00:36:11.000 But I do wonder, like, do I have a personality disorder, you know, that I care so much what Vanessa thinks about me?

00:36:21.000 But she told me I don't.

00:36:24.000 And I trust her.

00:36:27.000 I don't trust her.

00:36:29.000 She's kind of acting.

00:36:30.000 Sometimes.

00:36:31.000 Yeah, you know what I mean?

00:36:31.000 It's a new kind of comedy.

00:36:32.000 It's a character.

00:36:34.000 Seems super comfy.

00:36:36.000 That's not exactly new.

00:36:38.000 She's acting on stage.

00:36:40.000 She's about to smash a watermelon with a giant mallet.

00:36:43.000 She's never been done.

00:36:44.000 But I want to find out if she's married or not.

00:36:46.000 I care about her ovaries.

00:36:47.000 Let's see.

00:36:48.000 Because she's too old to breed by.

00:36:50.000 No, no, but that...

00:36:51.000 Stop.

00:36:52.000 That thing is called I Married the Wrong Guy.

00:36:54.000 Oh, okay.

00:36:55.000 Don't leave it, but jump ahead.

00:36:56.000 And I like to.

00:36:58.000 Because is she divorced?

00:36:59.000 So I got an Uber, and I think about them a lot, but sure by now that they're going to get away with it.

00:37:08.000 And you have to be the one to ruin their day and be like, can I...

00:37:11.000 And then they hate you, and you hate yourself.

00:37:13.000 You suck.

00:37:14.000 You see boarding group.

00:37:16.000 And then like the Stewardess Club.

00:37:18.000 And that's about a plan.

00:37:19.000 Plan.

00:37:19.000 So that I could have a kid without having to have a kid, you know?

00:37:22.000 And also makeup.

00:37:25.000 So, I figure that out.

00:37:30.000 I do want to have kids.

00:37:32.000 I do want to have a kid.

00:37:33.000 I got married, and I'm always meant to marry a guy who had a kid.

00:37:37.000 That was always the plan.

00:37:38.000 So that I could have a kid without having to have a kid, you know?

00:37:41.000 And also then there's less pressure to get along with the kid.

00:37:44.000 I'm very worried I'm going to have a baby and I'm going to be like, I don't like him.

00:37:51.000 And then if you have a stepkid, there's just no pressure.

00:37:53.000 You get to be like, his daughter, she hates me, you know?

00:37:57.000 And then at some point you get to have the moment where you're like, go to your room, Jesse.

00:38:02.000 And then she's like, you're not my mom.

00:38:04.000 And I'll laugh and I'll pour her some wine.

00:38:06.000 I don't care if she drinks.

00:38:06.000 She's not my kid, you know?

00:38:09.000 No, but maybe in my next marriage, I'll get one of those.

00:38:13.000 I'm awkward around kids because I feel like until you have them.

00:38:16.000 So she doesn't have a kid.

00:38:17.000 She wants a kid.

00:38:18.000 She's married the wrong guy.

00:38:19.000 We get it.

00:38:19.000 It's a genuflect.

00:38:21.000 It's a misdirect.

00:38:22.000 Like my 10 things I hate about the Jews that everyone took literally because they want Nazis so bad.

00:38:28.000 How to fight a baby didn't piss anyone off.

00:38:31.000 No one assumed I wanted to fight a baby.

00:38:32.000 But he must hate the Jews because he said so in a title of a video I've never seen.

00:38:38.000 But she must have been like 32 when we did that sketch, which I believe was in 2010, which means she's 42 now.

00:38:48.000 4,000 followers.

00:38:50.000 I mean, if you're married and he's the breadwinner, we're pretty good.

00:38:55.000 What are those radio clips?

00:38:56.000 I don't know.

00:38:57.000 I was looking for politics here.

00:38:58.000 Let's see.

00:38:59.000 Can you Tell me how climate change has affected you.

00:39:03.000 Oh, wow.

00:39:04.000 Obviously, I want to help you reduce your carbon footprint in any way that I can.

00:39:09.000 I think that's like a friend.

00:39:10.000 I don't know.

00:39:11.000 Is she in there?

00:39:11.000 Well, I would start by giving you a long eco-friendly foot rub.

00:39:19.000 Politics.

00:39:20.000 Anyway, I think we're losing them again.

00:39:22.000 This ship is...

00:39:23.000 This is a very strange show we're having.

00:39:26.000 It's a long, strange journey.

00:39:29.000 Also in me news, you know, remember I told you my favorite thing to do, especially to working-class dudes born and raised in Brooklyn, is you end the phone call with love you, and they always go, as you're hanging up, you're, what the fuck?

00:39:43.000 Brooklyn guys don't do gay jokes.

00:39:45.000 And I've noticed cops, maybe this is true of your friends, but cops keep sending me these videos that start out with a super hot chick, and she's just like, about to show you her tits, and then it cuts to like a guy fisting a guy up his butt with like Crisco oil everywhere.

00:40:04.000 An ass and fist of color.

00:40:05.000 Or another one, it was a woman.

00:40:08.000 What was it now?

00:40:10.000 Oh yeah, this was a car crash.

00:40:11.000 And it was a car in a jewelry store.

00:40:13.000 And then the car's pulling out and you see glass everywhere.

00:40:16.000 And you're like, oh, shit.

00:40:17.000 And then boom, it cuts to a guy covered in his own feces masturbating.

00:40:21.000 And he's covered.

00:40:22.000 Like, he looks like he's in blackface.

00:40:23.000 He's brown.

00:40:24.000 He's in shit face.

00:40:25.000 He's shit faced.

00:40:27.000 Uh-oh.

00:40:27.000 This is Beth, by the way.

00:40:28.000 Update.

00:40:29.000 Tell them Ruth sent you.

00:40:30.000 That's not good.

00:40:31.000 And that weird, that means I love abortions, by the way.

00:40:35.000 That's what that little cloth means.

00:40:36.000 Pro-abortion.

00:40:37.000 I fuck guys when I'm drunk and make mistakes.

00:40:40.000 I don't think feminists realize that.

00:40:42.000 Yeah, of course.

00:40:43.000 Look, we're not.

00:40:44.000 I don't look at that and go, oh, well, I don't like her anymore.

00:40:46.000 No, I know.

00:40:47.000 I mean, it's a girl.

00:40:48.000 Just to confirm.

00:40:49.000 Yeah.

00:40:50.000 Even with if I had people I liked that were actors or musicians, I would, of course it's going to be Black Lives Matter and shit.

00:40:56.000 They're not known for their nuance, these people.

00:41:00.000 But I show them, so I take those cop ones and then I'll send them to like Tommy Baggs, who's so fucking Italian.

00:41:06.000 I was talking about this lawsuit that costs a buddy of mine $10,000 just to say this is a ridiculous lawsuit.

00:41:13.000 But even that costs that much money.

00:41:15.000 Frivolous lawsuits.

00:41:16.000 They infuriate me.

00:41:17.000 And he goes, and I go, that's like, that's him taking his kids away to Jamaica for a vacation, you know?

00:41:22.000 And Tommy Baggs is like, Gavin, you know, they always say your name.

00:41:25.000 Gavin, for me, that's like, that's a Burberry tracksuit.

00:41:30.000 That's like two nice Gucci tracksuits.

00:41:32.000 You know?

00:41:35.000 Nice guy.

00:41:36.000 I won't be throwing any money at you when I win the lottery there, Tommy B. It doesn't look like it gets well invested.

00:41:42.000 Unless I want to see you wear goofy shit.

00:41:44.000 Then yes, I will.

00:41:45.000 Where's this dude?

00:41:46.000 That's him all dressed up.

00:41:48.000 Anyway, sorry, long story, but I'll send him these cop things, which bikers always send me too.

00:41:53.000 Bikers and cops, if you looked at my phone, you wouldn't be able to tell who's a biker and who's a cop.

00:41:57.000 But anyway, I send them to him.

00:41:58.000 He's like, dude, what the fuck?

00:42:02.000 Why did you do that?

00:42:03.000 And then the next day I see him at the gym, he's like, like he walks over to me as I walk into the gym.

00:42:08.000 Hey, why did you send that to me?

00:42:10.000 Where the fuck did you get that?

00:42:12.000 Was that real?

00:42:14.000 There's something wrong with you, Gavin.

00:42:16.000 Something.

00:42:17.000 You're ill.

00:42:18.000 You're sick in the head.

00:42:20.000 Don't ever do that again.

00:42:21.000 Which of course means, please, which of course means I'm going to be doing it on a regular basis.

00:42:26.000 Now I'm combing through gay porn sites trying to find the perfect scene.

00:42:30.000 They're throwing themselves into the road gladly.

00:42:36.000 So anyway, this guy stole my fucking...

00:42:38.000 I love you, bit.

00:42:40.000 Hit my line after work, though.

00:42:42.000 What?

00:42:42.000 Have a going.

00:42:44.000 Hey, get your bitch ass out and stop playing.

00:42:46.000 Come on, yo.

00:42:46.000 Chill, yo.

00:42:47.000 Have a going.

00:42:48.000 You cute, though.

00:42:49.000 What the fuck type of gay ass shit leave you home, man.

00:42:51.000 What do you mean, bro?

00:42:52.000 I said, have a good day.

00:42:53.000 Y'all weird as hell in this gay.

00:42:55.000 I'm weird.

00:42:56.000 Aye, sweetie pie.

00:42:57.000 Stop playing me with your goofy ass.

00:42:59.000 What do you mean, bro?

00:43:01.000 That's the thing I understood.

00:43:02.000 I didn't understand the first one.

00:43:05.000 First one he said, hit my line.

00:43:07.000 What does that mean?

00:43:08.000 Fuck me?

00:43:08.000 No, call me.

00:43:10.000 Hit my line.

00:43:10.000 I get you.

00:43:12.000 Alright, finance.

00:43:14.000 Finance.

00:43:17.000 What you mean, bro?

00:43:20.000 Honey bun.

00:43:21.000 Say what, man?

00:43:22.000 It's a honey bun.

00:43:23.000 What the fuck do you mean, honey bun?

00:43:24.000 I like a honey bun of you, man.

00:43:27.000 Alright, cutie tootie.

00:43:29.000 Stop the lamb before I fuck you up, bro.

00:43:31.000 Fuck me up?

00:43:32.000 For what?

00:43:32.000 Stop a laughing, boy.

00:43:33.000 Said, have a good day.

00:43:35.000 Hit my line after work, though.

00:43:38.000 They got so pissed.

00:43:40.000 So quick.

00:43:41.000 That's what good humor is.

00:43:43.000 Good humor is when it really pisses someone off for not a good reason.

00:43:46.000 I don't like prank calls.

00:43:48.000 Every time they're on Howard Stern, I switch the channel.

00:43:50.000 I don't like people wasting someone else's time.

00:43:52.000 But if the guy's an asshole and loses his temper, like an angry Scottish or Irish guy, then they're kind of funny because the guy's overreacting.

00:44:01.000 Like I heard one, Sal is this, Sal Governati is this retarded Italian guy.

00:44:06.000 His dad's even stupider than him, which is hard to believe.

00:44:08.000 And his dad, like, just fucked a bunch of people around the world, not around the world, around Brooklyn, and got them pregnant.

00:44:14.000 So he has his family, but he's got a bunch of kids.

00:44:17.000 So Sal Governati has a bunch of half-brothers and sisters.

00:44:23.000 So his dad from his gumas.

00:44:26.000 But his dad got in a lot of trouble when they first started coming out of the woodwork, but now the mother's like, whatever.

00:44:31.000 Fuck, I don't want to hear about it.

00:44:33.000 So Sal calls up his dad and goes, Dad, some Swedish chick from Sweden is here.

00:44:38.000 And she says that you're her kid.

00:44:41.000 And it's the, how dare you girl.

00:44:46.000 He's look up Sal's dad.

00:44:48.000 How dare you, maybe?

00:44:50.000 And the guy, he's like, oh, matsing gulf fungmagan.

00:44:53.000 And he goes, who's this?

00:44:56.000 And she goes, you've stolen my childhood.

00:44:59.000 And he's like, and then she repeats, how dare you?

00:45:02.000 He goes, dare you?

00:45:03.000 I fucking dare you.

00:45:03.000 Shut your mouth.

00:45:04.000 Look, where's your mother at?

00:45:05.000 That's your problem.

00:45:06.000 And then the wife gets on the phone.

00:45:07.000 She's like, leave him alone.

00:45:10.000 Anyway, you fucked it up.

00:45:11.000 You didn't find it in time.

00:45:12.000 Wait till I get to Sal's story.

00:45:14.000 Oh, boy.

00:45:14.000 Wait till you see all the story.

00:45:16.000 Wait.

00:45:21.000 Yeah, that's how they imitate Sal's story.

00:45:23.000 Oh, my God.

00:45:24.000 That's pretty cool looking.

00:45:27.000 Tony's not here.

00:45:28.000 My name is Amarque.

00:45:31.000 Okay, anyway.

00:45:34.000 Sabo sent me something last night.

00:45:38.000 A long time ago, he put the head of Gavin Newsome, which he's turned into a reptilian mask, on top of this giant clown structure.

00:45:47.000 And I said, How the fuck did you do that?

00:45:49.000 Did you climb up there?

00:45:50.000 That makes my ball.

00:45:51.000 Do your balls sometimes retract when you're on the edge of a tall building?

00:45:54.000 Or even when you see someone on the edge of a tall building, your balls go like that?

00:45:57.000 Like, I think your balls are trying to protect you, but that's not going to help, dude.

00:46:02.000 And I go, please don't tell me you climbed up there or my balls will go up into my neck.

00:46:06.000 And he goes, no, it was a drone.

00:46:08.000 And I said, let me see.

00:46:10.000 And it took him like three months, but he finally sent me the footage.

00:46:15.000 To shut down Southern California beaches on the 4th of July.

00:46:19.000 Then to have the balls to try and dictate how many friends and family members you can have over for Thanksgiving.

00:46:26.000 You should work on your sable dictatorship.

00:46:28.000 How many did Thanksgiving cancel Christmas?

00:46:32.000 You only see that in the movies.

00:46:34.000 You only see that in the movies.

00:46:35.000 Damn it.

00:46:37.000 I had to come up with a way to hang this crappy individual's head in effigy.

00:46:44.000 The question was, how?

00:46:50.000 This is our last shot, buddy.

00:46:52.000 Wow.

00:46:55.000 So cool.

00:46:56.000 So the drone takes the wire and puts it over the thumb.

00:47:00.000 What?

00:47:01.000 Use it as a pulley system?

00:47:03.000 Yeah, and then comes back.

00:47:07.000 Breaks it.

00:47:08.000 Just like you broke your dad's drone.

00:47:10.000 That's $300.

00:47:13.000 So now it's the relatively easy part.

00:47:17.000 This is for Christmas.

00:47:20.000 This is for Thanksgiving.

00:47:24.000 During China's Cultural Revolution, Red Garden is the first time.

00:47:26.000 It's the best.

00:47:27.000 Wow.

00:47:28.000 This is so much more effective than anything.

00:47:32.000 Maybe Charlie Kirk going to schools and de-brainwashing kids.

00:47:35.000 That's a major impact too.

00:47:37.000 Nick Fuentes and Alex Jones and Allie going all these places to stop the steal.

00:47:42.000 That's huge too.

00:47:42.000 But this is the same level of effectiveness, I would say.

00:47:46.000 Now, how do they get that rope out of there so that way?

00:47:48.000 So I think what he does, now he gets it, and he just has to tie it to one of those lights or something.

00:47:53.000 At least he doesn't have to go as high as the hand.

00:47:55.000 There's a million places he could get that.

00:47:57.000 He could tie it to a rock and then throw the rock up over the ledge so they have to get up on that ledge to get it down.

00:48:03.000 Right.

00:48:05.000 He used to do away with their four olds.

00:48:07.000 Old ideas, old cultures, old habits, old customs.

00:48:11.000 That's why they're doing away with our holidays.

00:48:13.000 That's why they're shutting down our businesses, taking down our statues, poisoning our pastimes like football and basketball.

00:48:21.000 This has nothing to do with your health.

00:48:22.000 Suck if that guy's bucket touched a power line and he died taking it down.

00:48:30.000 He blew his whole face off.

00:48:31.000 Gavin Newsome.

00:48:33.000 Gavin Newsome.

00:48:36.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:48:37.000 See that guy to have his face blasted off?

00:48:40.000 His name is Dallas Wayans, W-E-I-N-S.

00:48:47.000 And he was just painting a building in Fort Worth, Texas.

00:48:50.000 And then the bucket, just like that bucket he was on, drifted over.

00:48:53.000 And he's like, what the hell?

00:48:55.000 This is kind of a...

00:48:58.000 Power lines zap his face off.

00:49:00.000 Oh, it's gone.

00:49:02.000 There he is.

00:49:03.000 Face off.

00:49:06.000 Face is gone.

00:49:10.000 He used to just be a puppet.

00:49:16.000 That's not his face.

00:49:17.000 That's nothing like what he looks like.

00:49:18.000 That's the after, yeah.

00:49:19.000 That's the guy who died.

00:49:20.000 Isn't that incredible they can do that?

00:49:22.000 They're way better now.

00:49:24.000 Now they're like, hello, how are you today?

00:49:26.000 So this is my new faith, and I'm pretty happy with everything.

00:49:30.000 I can't really smell very well, but I want to see his face before.

00:49:34.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:49:36.000 It's the thumbnail.

00:49:39.000 The link here.

00:49:41.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:49:43.000 Wow.

00:49:44.000 That could have been Sabo's buddy.

00:49:46.000 And now he's doing great.

00:49:48.000 He can't see.

00:49:48.000 You'll never, obviously, never see again.

00:49:50.000 Yeah, it's really not that bad.

00:49:52.000 The hair and everything?

00:49:54.000 Yeah.

00:49:55.000 He looks like Mark Ruffalo in Man in Black.

00:49:58.000 No, no, there wasn't Mark Ruffalo.

00:49:59.000 Vincent D'Anofrio.

00:50:00.000 Vincent Denofrio.

00:50:01.000 We just watched that.

00:50:01.000 Yeah, that's great.

00:50:03.000 You want me to put my hands on my head?

00:50:06.000 Like this?

00:50:07.000 Okay, jump to one five.

00:50:10.000 Well, no, maybe just do the next one.

00:50:11.000 So Sabo just did these pictures of Reverend Warnock.

00:50:16.000 He preaches at the same church that Martin Luther King used to preach at.

00:50:19.000 And that's a statue that's out front.

00:50:21.000 It's Martin Luther King with a baby.

00:50:23.000 I presume it's about Martin Luther King, and he knows children are the future.

00:50:28.000 And that's him holding up a beautiful black man, holding up a beautiful black child, and making sure black children and black people have a future in this country.

00:50:36.000 Nice statue.

00:50:36.000 Very nice.

00:50:38.000 So Sabo noticed that Reverend Warnock is pro-choice.

00:50:42.000 He's pro-abortion.

00:50:45.000 So now the statue changes its meaning with Reverend Warnock there.

00:50:49.000 And now it's offering up babies to the fucking parenthood, Planned Parenthood gods, to the abortion gods, to further your political career.

00:51:01.000 So he's putting those around.

00:51:03.000 That's great.

00:51:04.000 Also, speaking...

00:51:05.000 Oh, he did a funny fleshlight too, but we'll get to that in a second.

00:51:09.000 Not only does Reverend Warnock say that it's okay to kill babies, but he also thinks Jesus was Muslim.

00:51:19.000 He calls him a Palestinian prophet because he was born in Bethlehem, and Bethlehem today is technically in Palestine.

00:51:25.000 It sucks, dude.

00:51:26.000 I've been there.

00:51:27.000 The birthplace of Jesus is surrounded by people wailing and praying.

00:51:31.000 There's an iron fence where the Christian church is, where Jesus was born, but it's surrounded with mobs and mobs and mobs of fucking Muslims.

00:51:42.000 Just leave.

00:51:43.000 Just go somewhere else.

00:51:45.000 Faith Goldie and I joked about her coming back and taking over Bethlehem and her breeding until there were so many Christians that they outpopulated Bethlehem and started spreading it.

00:51:59.000 And there'd be statues of Her with like a dart in her mouth, that's what Canadians call cigarettes, and a baby on her hip, and a Molson Canadian hat on, but like in stone.

00:52:07.000 They're not even close to Virgin Goldie.

00:52:12.000 No, we call the Virgin Goldie, but Virgin will be quote.

00:52:19.000 And I love this Pope.

00:52:21.000 He said, well, I'm not a Marxist, but I know a few Marxists, and they're pretty good people.

00:52:26.000 Abortion, Marxism.

00:52:30.000 Keep going.

00:52:31.000 So hard to discover and to hear an authentic vision and voice of authentic spirituality that gives voice to the least of these.

00:52:40.000 And when it shows up, people describe it as some strange ideology rather than the vision of that poor Palestinian prophet who said that the spirit of the Lord is upon me because God has anointed me to preach good news to the people.

00:52:56.000 So he was not a Jew.

00:52:58.000 He was a Muslim.

00:53:00.000 And then Saba also made this awesome fleshlight that I'm a big fan of.

00:53:11.000 That was State Assembly Speaker Willie Brown.

00:53:14.000 Shortly after she blew him, she was appointed to the California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board.

00:53:21.000 And then he also appointed her to the Medical Assistance Commission.

00:53:24.000 And she is about to become the president of the United States from a blowjob.

00:53:30.000 I think it's worth it.

00:53:32.000 People are going to be angry that you said that.

00:53:35.000 Because they think Trump's going to win.

00:53:37.000 I still have faith.

00:53:39.000 Goldie.

00:53:42.000 The left can't meme, and they've just explained why they can't meme.

00:53:46.000 This is why they're not funny.

00:53:48.000 You see, right-wing memes are short and sweet because you're not supposed to say sweet when you're criticizing something.

00:53:53.000 Because they ask you to appeal to knee-jerk assumptions which have already been deeply coded into your mind by social propaganda.

00:53:59.000 By contrast, leftist memes are tasked with breaking your social brainwashing, which requires complexity and nuance.

00:54:06.000 No, dude, you guys are the king of brainwashing.

00:54:09.000 You think Ahmed Aubrey was going for a jog.

00:54:12.000 You think Breonna Taylor was saying, help, help after a game of Uno.

00:54:16.000 So you are the ones who have to be deprogrammed.

00:54:20.000 And brevity is wit.

00:54:22.000 It's as simple as that.

00:54:23.000 Click on him.

00:54:24.000 Who is this fucking clown?

00:54:26.000 I just thought of a meme for this.

00:54:27.000 It's like you just, you know how sometimes it's in a different language?

00:54:30.000 You click translate?

00:54:31.000 Uh-huh.

00:54:31.000 And then, so it's a little thing where you click translate and it's just like, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay a bunch of times.

00:54:36.000 That could be funny.

00:54:38.000 Ooh, he's eating a snake.

00:54:41.000 That's him looking at himself in the mirror and then taking a picture of it.

00:54:45.000 Anarchist.

00:54:47.000 Anarchist building the new in the shell of the old.

00:54:51.000 I run the YouTube channel Anarch.

00:54:54.000 Well, now we have to see that in this silly wandering episode.

00:54:58.000 Obedience is not a virtue.

00:55:01.000 Obedience is not a virtue.

00:55:05.000 Q ⁇ A stream.

00:55:08.000 Why are you such a faggot?

00:55:10.000 Every time somebody asks this, I'll just start saying it more shortly.

00:55:13.000 An anarchist program by Malatesta.

00:55:16.000 Anarchy by Malatesta.

00:55:18.000 Anarchism and the Black Revolution by Irvin.

00:55:21.000 The ABCs of Anarchism by Berkman.

00:55:24.000 And what was the one I said?

00:55:26.000 Why does it look like The Punisher's Friend in The Punisher?

00:55:30.000 The one with his mouth all by Rudolph Rock.

00:55:32.000 Excellent introductions.

00:55:33.000 I don't know who you're talking about.

00:55:36.000 But I want to hear more of him.

00:55:37.000 So there he's giving book recommendations because your ridiculous theories can only exist as fictional literature and not in real life.

00:55:48.000 What do I think of my conversation with Sock Dunleft?

00:55:53.000 Yeah, I've heard all of his questions before.

00:55:55.000 That's not any offense intended to him.

00:55:57.000 It's just that I have debated a lot on Twitter.

00:56:02.000 I've debated a lot on Twitter.

00:56:04.000 You've been around the block.

00:56:06.000 Look at his videos and go to most popular.

00:56:09.000 Let's see this guy at his very best.

00:56:12.000 Sort by the best.

00:56:15.000 What's that guy?

00:56:16.000 8,000?

00:56:17.000 Oh, wow, yeah.

00:56:18.000 8,000.

00:56:19.000 So this is him.

00:56:20.000 Perfect.

00:56:22.000 Today's video will be focused upon a very important topic in leftist theory.

00:56:28.000 Namely, the role and nature of the state in the revolutionary punisher guy.

00:56:34.000 We've already seen who you're talking about.

00:56:35.000 It would be an understatement to say that this has been a point of contention for a variety of committed socialists.

00:56:42.000 Indeed, it represents the most significant early theory of the world.

00:56:48.000 One which has endured until this day.

00:57:00.000 And we shouldn't be shocked that this cognitive bias occurs enough to have earned such a reputation.

00:57:06.000 Humans have an inherent desire to solve the problems that lie in front of them.

00:57:11.000 And given a single tool to solve that problem, they'll have a tendency to attempt and discover every way that that particular tool could conceivably overcome that particular problem.

00:57:23.000 Every challenge he raises.

00:57:25.000 Ryan Long's got a new one out.

00:57:27.000 Vice is a joke.

00:57:28.000 It looks awesome.

00:57:31.000 I mean, it is awesome.

00:57:45.000 This is a trailer for it.

00:57:47.000 Well, let's just watch it first.

00:57:48.000 So it's my job as a therapist to help them get in touch with the person they once were.

00:57:52.000 Kind of interesting, the whole place is full of woo!

00:57:54.000 Okay, you know what?

00:57:55.000 Let's sit you back down.

00:57:56.000 Let's get you back down.

00:57:57.000 I keep having this recurring nightmare where they need my help, but I can't help them without my vice job.

00:58:02.000 Who needs your help, Daniel?

00:58:03.000 The Latinxes.

00:58:05.000 Without blogging, I lost my sense of purpose.

00:58:07.000 You don't work there anymore!

00:58:09.000 I'm on a deadline!

00:58:11.000 I see a white devil, an appropriator.

00:58:13.000 This is your mother.

00:58:14.000 Try to look past gender and race.

00:58:17.000 I need breaks!

00:58:18.000 It's so weird that I started that company to get away from all of this shit, and then it just became everything we were fighting against.

00:58:24.000 You know, we were banned.

00:58:25.000 We had a...

00:58:27.000 At my old school, Carlton University in Ottawa, we were banned Because we had an ad that had the picture, it was a skateboard company, and they had the picture of the maid from Brady Bunch.

00:58:39.000 Brady Bunch, and it just said dyke.

00:58:42.000 And they banned us for that.

00:58:44.000 Man, that was the thing.

00:58:47.000 Vice, the word, it means offensive.

00:58:50.000 In the list of definitions in the dictionary, one of them is offensive.

00:58:57.000 So we're gonna do a little roleplay, and I want you to interact with me.

00:59:00.000 I'm so sorry.

00:59:02.000 No, just act normal.

00:59:04.000 Hi, would you like a beer?

00:59:06.000 See, isn't that family norms being shoved down my throat?

00:59:10.000 It's not enough.

00:59:11.000 Without looking for problems.

00:59:13.000 What, someone just has to stay at home?

00:59:14.000 As a cisgendered white male, it looks like it's gonna rain.

00:59:17.000 Okay, now I want you to try it again, but without the first part.

00:59:20.000 It might rain?

00:59:21.000 Sino, wasn't that better?

00:59:22.000 I don't know.

00:59:23.000 I see a man who held a position only because of a rigged system.

00:59:26.000 I need to tweet one thing.

00:59:27.000 No tweeting.

00:59:28.000 I have to.

00:59:28.000 I have to lose some of the things.

00:59:29.000 Let's shut this down.

00:59:30.000 Let's shut it down.

00:59:31.000 I have two vice rings.

00:59:32.000 How many do you have?

00:59:33.000 None, and that's okay.

00:59:34.000 Because cold turkey can be a little too traumatic, it's important to...

00:59:39.000 I invented the vice ring.

00:59:41.000 It's like a thing you got after a while.

00:59:43.000 We should- Oh, can we have GOML rings?

00:59:46.000 No.

00:59:47.000 Come on.

00:59:48.000 That's gay.

00:59:49.000 Okay, let's watch one more joke.

00:59:53.000 Okay, I think you've had your ration for today.

00:59:55.000 We're gonna let you scold again after dinner.

00:59:57.000 I want you to look yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see.

01:00:00.000 A colonizer?

01:00:01.000 I see the problem.

01:00:03.000 Daniel, go deeper.

01:00:05.000 I see.

01:00:08.000 Me.

01:00:10.000 How doesn't that feel better?

01:00:22.000 I don't like crying in jokes.

01:00:24.000 Hey, Mom.

01:00:26.000 You cried in your last sketch.

01:00:28.000 Well, I had tears on my face.

01:00:29.000 Oh, I see, I said.

01:00:31.000 Just want to let you know, I'm sorry I called you a Nazi at Passover.

01:00:37.000 All right.

01:00:38.000 Now, this you probably have already heard about, but it is Golden, Golden Brown.

01:00:44.000 Check this out.

01:00:46.000 It's not a joke.

01:00:50.000 It's created by Kentucky Fried Chicken.

01:00:54.000 They are the sponsors.

01:00:55.000 They are the money behind it.

01:00:57.000 So they see it as a way to do a cheap commercial.

01:01:00.000 And it's the story of Colonel Sanders while using absolutely nothing from the story of Colonel Sanders.

01:01:06.000 Colonel Sanders was a family man, hard-working man.

01:01:09.000 The great thing about him was he took his recipe so seriously that even after he became big and he started franchising, he would go to the person's house, sleep on their couch, and for a week, show them how to make the chicken and make sure they got it perfect.

01:01:22.000 And then after five days, everything looks like it's running smoothly.

01:01:25.000 Okay.

01:01:26.000 And then he'd go to the next one.

01:01:27.000 He was an amazing man.

01:01:30.000 He was not a chef at a rich person's house who fucked everyone.

01:01:36.000 What the hell are you doing?

01:01:38.000 A lifetime original mini-movie.

01:01:40.000 You don't answer my proposal, and now you're not answering my call.

01:01:44.000 I think I'm falling for the new chef.

01:01:47.000 Jessica is falling for Harley.

01:01:49.000 Have you seen me here?

01:01:50.000 Nope.

01:01:51.000 Leave Jessica.

01:01:52.000 This Sunday at noon.

01:01:53.000 Please don't call me this Sunday at noon.

01:01:55.000 I'm busy.

01:01:56.000 It's not April 1st, next Sunday at noon.

01:01:59.000 That's Mario Lopez as Colonel Sanders, and it's sponsored and created by Colonel fucking Sanders by KFC.

01:02:07.000 Imagine he could come back from the grave and see this fucking bullshit.

01:02:10.000 Are you kidding me?

01:02:12.000 Who's that?

01:02:12.000 What is that, a Mexican or a Chinaman?

01:02:14.000 Clubmasters.

01:02:15.000 What the fuck?

01:02:17.000 I didn't go to no rich person's house.

01:02:19.000 Rich people wouldn't have me.

01:02:21.000 Fuck, what do they know about chicken?

01:02:23.000 Good recipe that's gonna change the world.

01:02:25.000 Harlan claims to have some secret recipe.

01:02:28.000 Why is there a colored in the house?

01:02:29.000 What kind of fucking movie is this?

01:02:32.000 It's a weird-looking kitchen.

01:02:34.000 If you marry my daughter, I promise there'll be more long weekends.

01:02:42.000 Oh, now they got the Chinaman making out with the kid?

01:02:45.000 I'll take care of this.

01:02:46.000 He should be working on the railroads where he belongs.

01:02:50.000 You think they'd tie me up, that little rich faggot, I would slit his throat.

01:02:55.000 How come I'm a Mexican in this?

01:02:57.000 What's a Lopez?

01:03:03.000 Colonel Sanders in a recipe.

01:03:05.000 I think his name is Harlan Sanders.

01:03:08.000 Sounds kind of like Colonel.

01:03:10.000 Is this going to make you want to buy chicken?

01:03:13.000 You know what?

01:03:14.000 This is the blackification, the Hispanification of everything.

01:03:19.000 They have everything.

01:03:20.000 Even the new Batman, the fucking commissioner's the black guy now.

01:03:24.000 No more fucking awesome little guy who was Gary Oldman.

01:03:28.000 Am I swearing too much on this show?

01:03:29.000 Awesome little guy.

01:03:30.000 I feel like I might be saying the F word a little too much.

01:03:33.000 They've been known to have like weird merch and stuff like that.

01:03:38.000 And it's...

01:03:40.000 I think it's supposed to be kind of jokey.

01:03:42.000 We might be missing.

01:03:43.000 Oh, shit.

01:03:45.000 Because they have like weird everything.

01:03:47.000 You know, it's always...

01:03:48.000 I'm embarrassed now.

01:03:49.000 Like, their store is like, you can buy a tent, like a heated tent.

01:03:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:55.000 And they have track suits that are KFC top and bottom.

01:03:58.000 The earrings.

01:03:59.000 And they've had all every funny comedian has been Colonel Sanders, including one very unfunny comedian, that fucking loser who wears suits all the time.

01:04:07.000 Oh, Paul F. Tompkins?

01:04:08.000 Yeah, Paul F. Tompkins.

01:04:10.000 He's a stink F stinker.

01:04:14.000 Okay, we're running out of time here.

01:04:17.000 We did so much wandering, I barely got to the news.

01:04:20.000 But that's fun to try sometimes.

01:04:22.000 Not every show has to be news.

01:04:27.000 But we should get to this.

01:04:29.000 Pearl Harbor was barely discussed by anyone yesterday.

01:04:32.000 It was hard to find on Twitter or the news.

01:04:34.000 And it was especially hard to find on our show.

01:04:37.000 And I apologize for that.

01:04:40.000 That's embarrassing.

01:04:41.000 And more importantly, Ryan, as a Japanese person, I'd like you to look into the camera and apologize to America for what your ancestors did.

01:04:53.000 We were born so innocent.

01:04:59.000 Sorry.

01:05:02.000 This isn't what you want.

01:05:05.000 And I'm sorry.

01:05:10.000 My son's ancestors murdered thousands of Americans and started a World War.

01:05:15.000 Didn't start a World War II.

01:05:17.000 I like the magazine.

01:05:18.000 Joe Biggs goes, Whatever it was, 72 years ago today, the Japanese ordered two of the hottest, spiciest meatballs you can find.

01:05:28.000 Something like that.

01:05:28.000 I'm not doing it justice.

01:05:31.000 What the hell?

01:05:32.000 That's funny.

01:05:32.000 Japanese people are really sensitive about Pearl Harbor.

01:05:34.000 Yeah?

01:05:35.000 Yeah, like I brought, I pretended I was mad at this Japanese guy at Max Fish once, and I was like, sitting there drinking your beer like Pearl Harbor never happened.

01:05:42.000 And he's like, it's like Nazis with Germany.

01:05:47.000 And he goes, can you think of another country that was brave enough to stand up to America and have an attack like that?

01:05:54.000 Whoa.

01:05:55.000 Dude, I'm just kidding.

01:05:56.000 That's a weird spin.

01:05:58.000 I guess we know where you stand.

01:05:59.000 But look at 2.4.

01:06:00.000 They fact-checked Trump saying this was Pearl Harbor, and it was bad.

01:06:10.000 So Instagram put a warning factor in the middle.

01:06:11.000 So he just said, like, wait, go down a bit?

01:06:14.000 Yeah.

01:06:14.000 Remembering Pearl Harbor and the date, the president, the first lady, and a vet who was there, and the names.

01:06:22.000 Well, actually, Mr. Trump.

01:06:25.000 Oh, it says President Donald J. Trump.

01:06:28.000 And then it goes, Joe Biden is the projected winner of the 2020 U.S. presidential election.

01:06:32.000 What?

01:06:33.000 You know he's still president, right?

01:06:35.000 No matter how much cheating went on.

01:06:38.000 Even if there was zero cheating, the president is the president until he's not.

01:06:43.000 What is it, January 20th?

01:06:45.000 I think so.

01:06:46.000 So now President Trump can't even call himself President Trump.

01:06:51.000 Here was a shocking video.

01:06:54.000 Santa told a kid that he can't have a fucking Nerf toy.

01:07:05.000 Oh, okay.

01:07:06.000 Oh.

01:07:07.000 22.

01:07:08.000 Yeah, I should have told you.

01:07:09.000 Should we have a Santa bumper?

01:07:11.000 Do we have a Santa bumper?

01:07:12.000 We don't, but we should.

01:07:13.000 Yeah, we should.

01:07:14.000 Well, I want Jews for Santa.

01:07:16.000 Oh, yeah, that's right.

01:07:17.000 Can you make us a Jews for Santa bumper and a graphic with...

01:07:21.000 You don't have to be very Jewish.

01:07:22.000 Like, don't do something like give him a hook nose or have a star of David.

01:07:25.000 Just Jews for Santa.

01:07:27.000 What do you want for Christmas?

01:07:30.000 You can do something.

01:07:31.000 Is that a woman?

01:07:37.000 Oh no.

01:07:46.000 Nope.

01:07:48.000 Nope.

01:07:48.000 Not even the buttons.

01:07:51.000 Nope.

01:07:53.000 If your cat wants to get it for you, that's fine, but I can't bring it to you.

01:07:58.000 That's not the point.

01:07:59.000 Light boats.

01:08:01.000 Bicycles.

01:08:03.000 Trucks.

01:08:04.000 What do you think?

01:08:07.000 Why didn't you knock him out?

01:08:10.000 You can do more damage with a truck than a gun.

01:08:13.000 Sometimes.

01:08:14.000 What do you think?

01:08:18.000 It's okay, we're dead.

01:08:23.000 It is a guy.

01:08:28.000 I would lose control.

01:08:29.000 I would choke him out.

01:08:31.000 You didn't just make him cry once.

01:08:32.000 You just ruined Santa forever.

01:08:34.000 And as I've said, as a parent, what is your job?

01:08:37.000 Well, now it's getting the kids off screens.

01:08:39.000 But as far as info goes, delaying what sex is for the longest time, delaying what race is for the longest time, delaying 9-11, not telling them what that was for the longest time, and extending Santa for the longest possible time.

01:08:50.000 Those four.

01:08:52.000 And it's really sad when they become sexual or when they don't believe in Santa anymore or when they realize that a plane could smash into their building at any given time.

01:09:02.000 Or that that guy's called black and blacks are a thing.

01:09:07.000 You know, my son once said, it's funny how so many of my friends have black skin.

01:09:11.000 And I was like, perfect.

01:09:13.000 You don't even know the fucking term.

01:09:16.000 But can you imagine it?

01:09:18.000 Why is she so calm?

01:09:21.000 She doesn't want to ruin Santa more.

01:09:26.000 I would put the kid in the stroller and then take it down.

01:09:31.000 I assume there's a little hill there thing.

01:09:33.000 And I would hug him.

01:09:34.000 Yeah, let's hug him and stuff.

01:09:35.000 Do that.

01:09:36.000 That's the mom's job.

01:09:38.000 But then come back up and go, let's motherfucker.

01:09:43.000 Get him a nerf gun.

01:09:44.000 I think I'd have to choke him, right?

01:09:46.000 How could you not choke him?

01:09:50.000 She's going to get him a nerf gun that day.

01:09:53.000 Before they leave the game.

01:09:54.000 Oh, you know what would be cool?

01:09:54.000 You get a Nerf gun.

01:09:56.000 Ah.

01:09:56.000 And then you come back and you just shoot him.

01:09:58.000 That's great.

01:09:59.000 That is fucking hilarious.

01:10:01.000 Get what you fucking deserve!

01:10:04.000 Isn't there like a Nerf gun?

01:10:06.000 I saw this.

01:10:07.000 I discovered this new guy on Instagram who's super funny.

01:10:10.000 And he just, sometimes he's not him.

01:10:11.000 He's quoting someone else.

01:10:13.000 But this guy brought up a good point about Santa.

01:10:16.000 2-3.

01:10:17.000 In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door.

01:10:19.000 He always gets in his sleigh and fucks off like 20 miles east.

01:10:24.000 That's so true.

01:10:26.000 Is he already done?

01:10:27.000 Are we always seeing him on the last house on that particular block?

01:10:29.000 And if it is, yeah, Santa would very rarely be doing that takeoff thing.

01:10:36.000 He'd be methodically going through blop, plop, plop, plop, plop.

01:10:41.000 He could probably park the sled and then walk some of the times.

01:10:45.000 Okay.

01:10:48.000 Oh, this we got to get to.

01:10:50.000 China.

01:10:51.000 Uh-oh.

01:10:52.000 It's not COVID.

01:10:53.000 We don't have a bumper for it.

01:10:54.000 Oh, frick.

01:10:55.000 A viewer sent this email in, this video in, and I ignored it, which I deeply regret.

01:11:06.000 Wait, they can't read it because I'm in the way.

01:11:07.000 Trump waged a war with China.

01:11:09.000 Why couldn't we handle him?

01:11:12.000 So this was sent to me by a reader, and I just was like, yeah, whatever.

01:11:18.000 And then I watched Tucker, and he thought it was so big, he had two Chinese guys double-check the translation, and it's been removed from the internet.

01:11:28.000 But it's too Late, it's been duplicated too many times.

01:11:31.000 The original is gone, I mean, and he's just basically this guy admitting that Chinese operatives and spies have people in very high-up places.

01:13:03.000 They no longer had people.

01:13:05.000 The reason this is relevant is because our biggest criticism of Biden, besides the fact that he's dead mentally, is that he's a Chinese asset.

01:13:16.000 And this guy is confirming that.

01:13:18.000 He never mentions Biden per se, but he talks about all the different spies that they have.

01:13:24.000 And then it comes out 3.6 today.

01:13:27.000 The biggest story today is that Eric Swalwell, you remember that fucking cuck?

01:13:31.000 The fart man.

01:13:33.000 Well, he's known as the fart man.

01:13:35.000 Believe it or not, I don't think farts are the hugest deal.

01:13:37.000 When Juliani farted, I didn't have a heart attack.

01:13:39.000 This guy's allowed to fart.

01:13:41.000 You're allowed to fart.

01:13:42.000 Almost everything farts, but not everything.

01:13:48.000 But Swalwell, go to 3-7.

01:13:50.000 You remember him when he said white males have to take a step back or something?

01:13:59.000 Yeah, click on that video.

01:14:00.000 I don't think anyone's identity should hold them back, but I think the next president should see all races, all identities, but recognize where you can't speak for someone's experience and pass the mic to someone who can.

01:14:12.000 I've pledged that I would ask a woman to serve as vice president.

01:14:15.000 I would put forward a diverse candidate for.

01:14:17.000 Speaking of like the tyranny of lies and not just clichés, I don't even know what that means.

01:14:23.000 Is he saying, say there's a policy on abortion or something, then he can't handle it.

01:14:29.000 He can't touch it.

01:14:30.000 It has to be done by a woman.

01:14:33.000 Why?

01:14:34.000 Why can't a male have a view on abortion, a woman's body?

01:14:40.000 It's not really an ethical thing.

01:14:43.000 It's like, when is a human a human?

01:14:45.000 So if you think a human a human is at conception, then everything after that is murder.

01:14:52.000 If you think that it's never a human until it comes out and says hi, then none of that is murder.

01:14:58.000 Those are ethical decisions.

01:15:00.000 So why would a woman handle all the fucking abortion talk?

01:15:04.000 What if she's a moron?

01:15:06.000 I don't want her handling that.

01:15:07.000 Why can't we handle, like, do you have to have been in a war to be a historian?

01:15:12.000 Do you have to have played basketball to do sports commentary?

01:15:16.000 No, often those are the worst at sports commentary.

01:15:19.000 You don't have to be directly, intimately involved in the thing to try to help problems or solve issues within the thing.

01:15:27.000 So much of the left's dogma is based on theories that are so fucking flimsy, like the see it to be it.

01:15:34.000 We got to make Superman black so black kids know they can fly too.

01:15:38.000 Bullshit.

01:15:40.000 Pussies that would make sure that inherent bias that exists or discrimination that exists in communities would be eliminated and that we would make sure everyone everywhere has opportunity.

01:15:52.000 I don't think anyone.

01:15:53.000 So when you're that much of a cuck and a pussy, you are easy prey for ugly spies named Fang Fang.

01:16:00.000 How Fang Fang, the Chinese spy, slept with two U.S. mayors and targeted politicians, including one of the youngest members of the House, before slipping out of the U.S. when the FBI came and knocking.

01:16:09.000 Fang Fang or Christine Fang.

01:16:13.000 One time my neighbor had an au pair who was Chinese, and I said, what's your name?

01:16:20.000 And she goes, well, my name is Hard.

01:16:22.000 My name is Hatosei in English, so people just call me Ping Ping.

01:16:26.000 I'm like, okay.

01:16:27.000 And then one time they had a piano in their front room, and I was coming home and I went by their house, like walked by their house, and I could see her at the piano just going, dong, dong, dong, dong, ding.

01:16:39.000 Not playing a song, like doing it the way a little kid would do.

01:16:44.000 And I said to my neighbor, hey, dude, I think ping ping might be a ding-dong.

01:16:52.000 Did he laugh?

01:16:52.000 He didn't laugh.

01:16:53.000 What?

01:16:53.000 He's like, why?

01:16:54.000 Why do you say that?

01:16:55.000 And I had to tell him the piano thing like that was remotely relevant.

01:16:58.000 What's that sound?

01:17:00.000 I don't know.

01:17:01.000 Okay, so I think I do Fang Fang.

01:17:03.000 On the headphone, though.

01:17:04.000 So Fang Fang, fuck a cockman.

01:17:08.000 And then she get caught, but she fuck a lot of guys.

01:17:13.000 Long time or regular?

01:17:14.000 She fuck a lot of guys in a house.

01:17:17.000 And a man who's almost present in the United States, maybe she blow Biden.

01:17:20.000 Or maybe for Biden, she just let him sniff her.

01:17:23.000 And that's enough to blackmail him.

01:17:26.000 She smashed French.

01:17:27.000 Hey, China, can you send some hot spies, please?

01:17:30.000 What's with the threes?

01:17:32.000 I guess her vagina spins when you put it in.

01:17:35.000 Like, there is a spy.

01:17:36.000 I wouldn't be able to resist.

01:17:38.000 If she begged to blow me right now, I would start crying and run.

01:17:46.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

01:17:47.000 You're showing us all this shit.

01:17:48.000 It's like a link to our pictures.

01:17:50.000 Oh, these are the pictures all in the thing.

01:17:53.000 And Cerno had this scoop.

01:17:54.000 3-8.

01:17:57.000 Scoop.

01:18:00.000 What did he say?

01:18:01.000 I was tipped off in 2018 that Swalwell had been compromised by a sex scandal and never could confirm details, but source was always good to go.

01:18:07.000 And it just broke.

01:18:09.000 The spy planted an intern with Swalwell.

01:18:12.000 Oh, so wait, he didn't fuck Fang Fang?

01:18:14.000 He fucked a girl that was with Fang Fang?

01:18:16.000 Oh, like a Fang Fang.

01:18:17.000 Fang Fang Fen?

01:18:21.000 Are you friends with Ping Ping?

01:18:25.000 More like a Bang Bang.

01:18:26.000 Hello.

01:18:27.000 Did you Bang Fang?

01:18:29.000 Be honest.

01:18:32.000 So they got Biden.

01:18:33.000 They got their guy.

01:18:34.000 They got the big guy.

01:18:35.000 But they had backup plans.

01:18:37.000 They had Swalwell run.

01:18:42.000 Look at Mike Wallace's bratty son.

01:18:46.000 By the way, Biden called him Chris, remember?

01:18:48.000 No, no, sorry.

01:18:49.000 Biden called him Chuck or something else.

01:18:51.000 But look at him correct this guy for calling the president the president.

01:19:01.000 This is voluntary.

01:19:03.000 A vice president.

01:19:04.000 I don't think I would be aware of that.

01:19:07.000 If President Trump had worn a mask then and urged everyone to wear a mask then, back in April, the way Joe Biden is right now, wouldn't we be in much better shape?

01:19:20.000 Well, Chris, I welcome Vice President Biden to the club since the middle of April.

01:19:24.000 The president's guidelines for reopening have called the select sir.

01:19:28.000 The president has called the gax.

01:19:33.000 What channel is this?

01:19:35.000 Crazy.

01:19:36.000 Every one of his top advisors, we are out there saying, wear your masks.

01:19:40.000 We talk about the data.

01:19:41.000 You know, Chris, at one meter, if two people wear the masks, it can reduce viral transmission by 72%, protecting both the source and the recipient.

01:19:50.000 We've got the data.

01:19:52.000 Mass work.

01:19:52.000 We encourage people.

01:19:54.000 Please wear your mask.

01:19:54.000 He's not the president-elect.

01:19:55.000 That's not a thing.

01:19:56.000 Stop saying that.

01:19:58.000 He'll become the president when he becomes the president.

01:20:00.000 Until then, he's the alleged next president.

01:20:05.000 He's a suspect.

01:20:06.000 He's a suspect.

01:20:07.000 He's our top suspect.

01:20:08.000 40.

01:20:09.000 I told you I hated this guy.

01:20:10.000 Remember the other show?

01:20:13.000 Gabriel Sterling is his name.

01:20:17.000 And he's a never-Trumper, which somehow are worse than liberals.

01:20:22.000 Tomorrow's an important day here in Georgia.

01:20:24.000 Remind you, again, regardless of whoever your candidate is, to stop Trump.

01:20:27.000 You need to vote for Marco Rubio.

01:20:29.000 He's the closest to Trump in the polls here.

01:20:31.000 This must be about stopping Trump.

01:20:34.000 And then he has his lawn sign that has nope for Trump, but noper for Hillary.

01:20:41.000 I'm telling you, man, I have a sixth sense.

01:20:43.000 I see dead people, and that guy's dead to me.

01:20:45.000 I can just see when someone is a shitty dude.

01:20:48.000 Maybe it's because I have X-ray high school vision, and I can see your high school self.

01:20:52.000 And that guy in high school was a dork.

01:20:55.000 You want to talk about woke?

01:20:57.000 I'm woke.

01:21:00.000 Oh, check your email.

01:21:03.000 Oh, you just got in that Steven Crowder interviewed that kid, but he dressed up as me for some reason.

01:21:11.000 I don't understand why.

01:21:12.000 The kid?

01:21:13.000 No, Crowder dressed up as me.

01:21:15.000 Oh, that is.

01:21:16.000 And called the kid.

01:21:17.000 Got the glasses wrong.

01:21:18.000 Yeah, my glasses are much bigger than that.

01:21:22.000 Nope, no guns.

01:21:23.000 Nerf guns.

01:21:24.000 Nope, not even a nerf gun.

01:21:26.000 Okay, here, Dan.

01:21:33.000 Oh, oh, there's little Michael.

01:21:36.000 Oh, he's doing me doing Santa.

01:21:38.000 Do you know who this is making a call just for you?

01:21:43.000 Who is that?

01:21:44.000 Santa.

01:21:45.000 This is Santa.

01:21:47.000 That's right.

01:21:48.000 And I understand that you're a fan of me, Santa, and you had a little bit of a run-in with one of those helpers at the mall who hadn't been vetted properly yesterday.

01:21:58.000 Is that right?

01:22:00.000 What do you call him?

01:22:01.000 Um, Bad Santa.

01:22:04.000 That's right, Bad Santa, who didn't pass the chemical test beforehand, but we've taken care of that.

01:22:13.000 Another reason that that fucker, sorry for my horrible language, that that bad Santa is bad news is now the kids start going, wait a minute, so the people in the mall are not Santa?

01:22:24.000 Okay, so Santa's in the North Pole.

01:22:27.000 So why do I bother going to malls and sitting on laps if they're actors?

01:22:32.000 I'm only interested in sitting on Santa's lap, thanks.

01:22:35.000 As the real Santa, I understand that you know the rules of engagement here, that you've been a very...

01:22:42.000 Have you been a good boy this year?

01:22:46.000 Okay.

01:22:47.000 Now I know that you're a fan of this year.

01:22:54.000 Depends how you define good.

01:22:57.000 Okay.

01:22:57.000 Now I know that you're a fan of boxing, just like old Santa here.

01:23:04.000 You like boxing and you're a big fan of Rocky Balboa.

01:23:08.000 Do I have that right?

01:23:12.000 Oh, maybe that's another little Michael.

01:23:14.000 Maybe I have that wrong.

01:23:15.000 You're not the boxer?

01:23:18.000 That's me.

01:23:19.000 That's you.

01:23:20.000 Let me see those.

01:23:21.000 Let me see those fists there, young Michael.

01:23:24.000 Let me see.

01:23:24.000 Put up your dukes.

01:23:26.000 Is that a big fist for a kid?

01:23:28.000 Oh, look at that.

01:23:29.000 I think that's going to be a heavyweight.

01:23:31.000 That's peekaboo style.

01:23:33.000 That's Mike Tyson's invention.

01:23:36.000 Now, look at that training.

01:23:37.000 He's going to swing on Santa.

01:23:43.000 He's got eight minutes long, but he pulls out a gun.

01:23:50.000 That might be before your time.

01:23:54.000 He's what your parents are.

01:23:55.000 Up north, sometimes we get bears or we get something, you know, that could hurt Santa's reindeer.

01:24:00.000 So, Santa, old Saint Nick packs a heater.

01:24:04.000 Would you like to undo more of this?

01:24:05.000 Tell me about the time that my peace saved my reindeer.

01:24:09.000 I'm going to text Crowder and pretend to be pissed off.

01:24:11.000 Why are you fucking dressing up as me?

01:24:14.000 Oh, wait, go back.

01:24:15.000 He eventually gets it out.

01:24:23.000 Or maybe he doesn't.

01:24:23.000 That's a microphone in front of him.

01:24:24.000 Oh, he talks about how a bear almost attacked a Donner and Blitzen and he had to chase the bear away with saved the deer's life.

01:24:31.000 Yeah, it seems like he didn't brandish it.

01:24:34.000 Entirely, but He did.

01:24:37.000 That was probably a smart move.

01:24:38.000 Yeah.

01:24:39.000 Waving a gun.

01:24:40.000 Exactly.

01:24:40.000 I wonder if that's illegal to brandish a weapon over like FaceTime.

01:24:44.000 Wait, did we show the footage of this?

01:24:46.000 I meant to show that at the beginning of the show.

01:24:48.000 No.

01:24:49.000 What a strange show this has been.

01:24:51.000 I kind of like it, though.

01:24:53.000 It's been very free-flowing, very freestyle.

01:24:56.000 Like a freestyle.

01:24:58.000 Yeah, it's like what Fang Fang would do.

01:25:00.000 It feels like...

01:25:01.000 We don't give a damn.

01:25:04.000 Hey, I hear you fucked a Chinese four.

01:25:07.000 What?

01:25:07.000 I don't know.

01:25:08.000 What?

01:25:10.000 She was a spy.

01:25:11.000 And she blackmailed you?

01:25:13.000 Oh, that Chinese four.

01:25:14.000 You mean Fang Fang?

01:25:16.000 Yeah.

01:25:17.000 China is asshole.

01:25:21.000 They drug me?

01:25:22.000 How'd you get it up?

01:25:25.000 They drugged me with Cialis?

01:25:27.000 Yeah, it was a cocktail.

01:25:31.000 Go to 4-1.

01:25:32.000 Okay, the full one.

01:25:35.000 Okay, now we're going to be talking Chinese the whole time.

01:25:37.000 Is this COVID?

01:25:39.000 Yeah.

01:25:42.000 It's only one wires that will be brushed to right.

01:25:44.000 Your language sucks.

01:25:46.000 Your language is stupid.

01:25:48.000 Fucking Chinese.

01:25:50.000 Chinese vibrants comes from China.

01:25:52.000 Turn on his asshole!

01:25:54.000 Just keep your hands off my dog.

01:25:56.000 It's funny how a lefty would see that whole thing as incredibly racist, but Chinese people do eat dogs.

01:26:02.000 Yeah.

01:26:03.000 How about those losers who rescue dogs from China?

01:26:07.000 We talked about this already, right?

01:26:08.000 They saved like eight dogs from the Chinese food fair.

01:26:11.000 Thousands of dogs get eaten in China every day.

01:26:15.000 I hate pet rescue.

01:26:16.000 It's such a dumb, emotional, non-mathematical thing.

01:26:21.000 You didn't do anything to the dog population.

01:26:24.000 You just encouraged more people to get rid of their fucking pets.

01:26:27.000 So what are you doing?

01:26:28.000 It doesn't mean anything.

01:26:29.000 Do you go to the beach and clean one grain of sand?

01:26:33.000 You're mathematically irrelevant.

01:26:36.000 You're not helping anyone.

01:26:37.000 It's a rescue.

01:26:38.000 I saved the day.

01:26:39.000 Okay, so the million-dollar question here is, do you see them wearing uniforms or not?

01:26:48.000 Because if they don't have uniforms, this guy's a great case.

01:26:55.000 So that's Danny.

01:26:57.000 That looks like a hat.

01:26:59.000 I think I see a badge on the sleeve.

01:27:09.000 Ooh, that looked kind of badgy.

01:27:12.000 So now his argument has to be, I couldn't see that they were cops.

01:27:18.000 But it's kind of hard to not see that if that policeman's hat's very distinct.

01:27:22.000 I believe that's why it's so distinct.

01:27:24.000 I don't know if I see a hat.

01:27:24.000 Wait, that looks kind of like a baseball hat on the other one.

01:27:26.000 Yeah, I don't know if I see a hat.

01:27:28.000 Can't really tell.

01:27:30.000 Can't really tell on the cover of the post either.

01:27:33.000 He definitely has a hat on.

01:27:34.000 Oh, we can't see what it was.

01:27:36.000 All right.

01:27:37.000 Wow.

01:27:37.000 A lot of chatting has gone on.

01:27:40.000 We're boop boop boop boop boop.

01:27:44.000 We got some timeless things we can do another time.

01:27:47.000 And I think it's time we jump over to the mailbag.

01:27:51.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.

01:27:56.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:28:02.000 Let me touch it.

01:28:04.000 Okay, in the interest of not ignoring the subscribers who send me interesting stuff, I am paying more attention to the mailbag and not poo-pooing your letters.

01:28:14.000 This one is actually in the notes.

01:28:16.000 Gab, you should listen to the Joe Rogan podcast with Maddie Iglesias.

01:28:20.000 Throughout the entire conversation, this guy Iglesias does the most annoying voice inflection where it gets ear-piercingly high, like Jiminy Glick.

01:28:29.000 Mike.

01:28:31.000 Now, if you remember, Maddie Iglesias was the guy at Vox who had to leave because he wasn't radical enough.

01:28:39.000 And he's a fucking liberal lunatic.

01:28:41.000 He has a book called, I think it's called A Billion.

01:28:43.000 And it's about how we need to open our borders more until we triple our population to one billion.

01:28:50.000 I guess he thinks they'll all go to Nevada and the desert and the mountains, and they won't just crunch in to New York and LA and Chicago.

01:29:00.000 That's where immigrants go.

01:29:01.000 They don't go to some abandoned farm.

01:29:06.000 But yeah, he had to quit Vox because he doesn't like the term Latinx enough.

01:29:10.000 He doesn't think we should totally defund the police and eradicate the police force.

01:29:15.000 These have become...

01:29:16.000 See, this is why I'm so glad we chose this book today.

01:29:19.000 Because what's radical now is what's unacceptably mainstream too, is not wanting to end the police.

01:29:27.000 Well, that means you're a fucking right-wing Nazi then.

01:29:30.000 Fuck you, pig.

01:29:32.000 And what was the other one he had?

01:29:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:34.000 He didn't sufficiently worship AOC enough.

01:29:37.000 But it's weird that it says Vox on his shirt.

01:29:41.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:41.000 Is he back at Vox?

01:29:43.000 Because this is new, isn't it?

01:29:44.000 December 3rd.

01:29:45.000 That's December 3rd.

01:29:46.000 And what was that article at the Atlantic?

01:29:51.000 November 13th.

01:29:52.000 Maybe they recorded it before.

01:29:56.000 Oh, okay, yeah.

01:29:57.000 Maybe.

01:29:57.000 I don't know.

01:29:59.000 Is that like a slam show where it's like Vox?

01:30:01.000 Soft.

01:30:01.000 But wait a minute.

01:30:02.000 That would be then they would have had to record it in like November 1st.

01:30:07.000 And it's his new studio.

01:30:09.000 Has he had this new studio for that long?

01:30:11.000 Yeah, I think since November 1st.

01:30:13.000 He's got his space pod.

01:30:15.000 Right.

01:30:16.000 Like nothing.

01:30:16.000 They're not, though, in some cases.

01:30:19.000 You can blind yourself.

01:30:21.000 No, no, no.

01:30:21.000 That's not what I mean.

01:30:22.000 I mean, one of the reasons why people have this perception that it's a good idea to not go on someone's platform and not talk to people.

01:30:29.000 Good save.

01:30:30.000 Bob Kelly is on Rogan, finally.

01:30:32.000 Is because some people have been deplatformed.

01:30:35.000 People like Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McGinnis and Alex Jones.

01:30:39.000 I just dropped the needle on this, Ben.

01:30:41.000 Deplatformed by you.

01:30:47.000 Wait, what a coinky dink.

01:30:48.000 What?

01:30:48.000 That is a crazy Koinky dink.

01:30:50.000 Wait, what?

01:30:50.000 But this is a three-hour episode.

01:30:52.000 That is nuts.

01:30:54.000 That's beyond weird.

01:30:55.000 Can we hit the button?

01:30:56.000 Let's see what the Ouija button has to say.

01:30:58.000 Oh, no.

01:30:58.000 Huge, huge mistake.

01:31:00.000 Oh, I guess.

01:31:00.000 Okay, okay.

01:31:02.000 D-platform.

01:31:03.000 People like Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McGinnis and Alex Jones.

01:31:07.000 There's people that have been removed from these significant portals, whether it's YouTube or Twitter.

01:31:12.000 What about the Joe Rogan show?

01:31:13.000 Have they been removed from that?

01:31:16.000 That's crazy.

01:31:19.000 Are we going to post it on censored?

01:31:20.000 Because I have the Eps.

01:31:22.000 No, we're not.

01:31:23.000 Okay.

01:31:26.000 Go back.

01:31:27.000 People, they understand that that's effective, and now they want to expand that.

01:31:31.000 And once they learn how to do that, then they want to do it to other...

01:31:33.000 I mean, I've seen people argue for people being deplatformed for just having dumb ideas.

01:31:38.000 Joe, you deplatformed me.

01:31:39.000 I've literally seen that.

01:31:40.000 You removed me and Milo's episodes.

01:31:43.000 That's not how to handle things.

01:31:45.000 You're supposed to have debates.

01:31:46.000 You're supposed to have discussions.

01:31:48.000 And I think because we've accepted this idea of censorship and deplatforming as a viable alternative to listening to things that upset you, just get rid of them.

01:31:58.000 Shut them off.

01:32:01.000 And also, that reinforces the echo chamber.

01:32:03.000 It's people with limited understanding of history in terms of what happens when you do that to people.

01:32:10.000 And also a very limited understanding of...

01:32:13.000 You've got to hear the Joe Rogan experience 1573 at about, how far in are we?

01:32:19.000 It's 38, about 30.

01:32:21.000 27 minutes.

01:32:22.000 There's this bald dude who's like an MMA guy named you that you really got to listen to.

01:32:27.000 He's going to blow your mind.

01:32:29.000 You're going to blow your mind.

01:32:32.000 Wait, keep going, though.

01:32:35.000 To get people to listen to your point of view is to express it eloquently and accurately and in a way that resonates.

01:32:43.000 Wow.

01:32:44.000 You say something.

01:32:45.000 How could you be so oblivious?

01:32:48.000 Et too, Roger?

01:32:51.000 No, Joe is better.

01:32:53.000 Et too, Joe.

01:32:54.000 Uh-huh.

01:32:56.000 Joey.

01:32:58.000 Joey.

01:32:59.000 Oh, we have Joker face, don't we?

01:33:02.000 We have a Joker face?

01:33:03.000 We have a couple.

01:33:04.000 I was watching them come in.

01:33:05.000 We've got Bush.

01:33:09.000 All right.

01:33:10.000 Coffee table.

01:33:12.000 Even in Fox, this is a coffee table I made by cutting ancient driftwood.

01:33:16.000 This is my idea.

01:33:18.000 You son of a bitch.

01:33:20.000 Why does everyone keep ripping me off?

01:33:24.000 I say this because I'm a white-collar buddy.

01:33:26.000 All my tennis friends are Indian.

01:33:27.000 Your bloody fucking podcast is amazing.

01:33:30.000 Indian droker face is going to make you a fucking billion, you fuck fucking buddy.

01:33:34.000 Don't you understand the Indian government?

01:33:36.000 Because all Indians that aren't dirty monsters understand a VPN.

01:33:41.000 Don't worry about the Indian government.

01:33:42.000 You fuck bloody and your sunglasses are retarded.

01:33:44.000 This is kind of my idea.

01:33:45.000 My idea was, you know when you see a tree that's been knocked over, right?

01:33:50.000 And you see the root mass?

01:33:52.000 Yes.

01:33:53.000 So you take one, you chop it like say a foot and a half, two feet into the trunk, right?

01:34:04.000 Then with some crazy power washers, you just clean it 1 million percent.

01:34:08.000 You get off every little piece.

01:34:09.000 And that's not going to be an easy job.

01:34:10.000 That mud is packed on there.

01:34:12.000 So you clean it, so now it's just 100% piece of wood.

01:34:14.000 And now you somehow, with like a giant buzzsaw, slice all of those roots.

01:34:24.000 So now, when you plunk it down upside down, right, the base is the trunk, and you could add a little bit if that's not wide enough.

01:34:33.000 And then you put down a big circle of glass.

01:34:35.000 You also cut it in a circle shape.

01:34:36.000 So now you're looking down at these cut roots.

01:34:40.000 Wouldn't that like cool?

01:34:42.000 That'd be cool.

01:34:43.000 Hello, you've got a base.

01:34:46.000 Your table has a base.

01:34:50.000 So he didn't really steal my idea.

01:34:52.000 Hey, Gavin and Rye guy.

01:34:54.000 I feel like this is right up your street.

01:34:55.000 Old school London geezers.

01:34:57.000 Oh, I heard there's a new show called London Gangs, Gangs of London.

01:35:03.000 London geezers turn their hand to grime and smash it out in the park with hilarious humor and great rhymes.

01:35:07.000 All the best from this side of the pond.

01:35:09.000 Harry Fletcher.

01:35:10.000 Okay, so we're being sent music here.

01:35:13.000 Okay, I'm just clicking it now.

01:35:17.000 Here we go.

01:35:36.000 Nah.

01:35:38.000 I hate the I'm not your average rapper.

01:35:41.000 I'm a white guy.

01:35:43.000 How many times has that been done?

01:35:46.000 Stephen Colbert or something.

01:35:48.000 I get up early and I go to work and I'm a fucking rapper.

01:35:52.000 We've got some jokers.

01:35:54.000 Okay, I'll sprinkle them throughout.

01:35:56.000 They've gone out there against the mainstream media and said, you're going to call us racist.

01:36:02.000 You're going to call us potential Timothy McVays.

01:36:05.000 Fuck you.

01:36:13.000 That's terrible.

01:36:15.000 Just smiling.

01:36:18.000 Oh, God, I was raping this girl the other day.

01:36:20.000 And I held a gun to her, I mean, a knife to her face.

01:36:24.000 And because she was crying and screaming.

01:36:26.000 And I said, smile, bitch.

01:36:28.000 Fucking smile.

01:36:30.000 And she kind of stopped crying.

01:36:31.000 And she goes, I'm smiling.

01:36:33.000 See?

01:36:34.000 I'm smiling.

01:36:34.000 Dude, it was the fakest smile you've ever seen in your life.

01:36:39.000 Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?

01:36:42.000 Gangs of London.

01:36:44.000 Action.

01:36:47.000 I think that's the show I was hearing about at the gym today.

01:36:50.000 Tells a story of London being torn apart by the turbulent power struggles of international gangs, and a sudden power vacuum is created when the head of London's most powerful crime family is assassinated.

01:37:00.000 Ryan, how can you be so fucking slow?

01:37:03.000 Which one?

01:37:03.000 No, it's not a letter.

01:37:05.000 It's popped into my head.

01:37:07.000 Oh, okay, gotcha.

01:37:08.000 I'm around looking around, like, what the hell?

01:37:10.000 Gangs of London?

01:37:11.000 Yeah, smash the subscribe.

01:37:13.000 So how do we see it?

01:37:15.000 Like a hot fire?

01:37:21.000 We're born into a certain world.

01:37:28.000 It's chosen for us.

01:37:32.000 Some might think it's brutal.

01:37:40.000 I say it's glorious.

01:37:41.000 Excuse me.

01:37:44.000 Someone chose to kill Finn Wallace.

01:37:48.000 Today we mourn the loss of a great man.

01:37:51.000 But tomorrow it will be business.

01:37:54.000 I might be good.

01:37:55.000 I thought it was going to be real.

01:37:57.000 Like the real soccer hooligans and stuff.

01:37:59.000 Everything stops.

01:38:01.000 We'll check it out.

01:38:02.000 Until I find a checker.

01:38:05.000 Um, Oi.

01:38:07.000 This is from Angelique.

01:38:08.000 Oi, Gav.

01:38:09.000 My name is Angel, and I'm emailing in because I heard about a man who grew up without a dad, much like Ryan.

01:38:14.000 And he made a YouTube channel for other boys who also grew up without dads, so they don't end up like Ryan.

01:38:19.000 He has videos like this one that teaches you how to fix most running toilets and others, such as how to change a tire, how to jump side a car, how to tie a tie.

01:38:25.000 The one I linked is the shortest one I saw.

01:38:28.000 P.S. Ryan, you're legit the best, even though my boyfriend calls you a loser.

01:38:32.000 Oh, well, fuck all.

01:38:34.000 You might have wondered about me.

01:38:35.000 So, anyway, so I'm going to show you how to fix a running toilet.

01:38:38.000 That just means that the water just is trying to fill back up and it doesn't have a good seal.

01:38:43.000 And so you'll need what's called a flapper.

01:38:46.000 And all that is, is the flapper flips up when you flush the toilet and then it flips back down and tries to seal the toilet so that the tank can fill back up.

01:38:57.000 And if the seal isn't good, then...

01:38:58.000 What if I want my fake dad to have his bathroom designed by his wife clearly?

01:39:05.000 Of course your wife designs your bathroom, you fucking faggot.

01:39:08.000 You think you do?

01:39:09.000 Hey, I'm not a pussy.

01:39:10.000 My bathroom has a motorhead mirror on the wall.

01:39:13.000 It's not an androgynous, it's a female bathroom.

01:39:16.000 Yeah.

01:39:16.000 Bathrooms are female.

01:39:18.000 Keep trying to fill.

01:39:20.000 Okay, that's enough.

01:39:20.000 Well, you show the people his name.

01:39:22.000 I guess, you childless hordes.

01:39:24.000 Dad, how do I?

01:39:25.000 Dad, how do I?

01:39:27.000 Okay.

01:39:28.000 Asheville, someone sent us this.

01:39:32.000 A plus, plus, plus video drop.

01:39:34.000 Hilarious.

01:39:35.000 Six second.

01:39:37.000 I had that guy on my show once.

01:39:38.000 Really?

01:39:39.000 Oh, wow.

01:39:40.000 Tell these faggots.

01:39:42.000 Either they get out of town or a flame of fire is going to come out that butthole.

01:39:48.000 That's a good idea.

01:39:49.000 You should write that down.

01:39:50.000 I'm going to download it immediately.

01:39:52.000 Yeah, he said, I had him on my old show, the Gavin McKinnon show.

01:39:56.000 He said, Obama created AIDS to kill off the black man.

01:40:02.000 I don't know how, I guess he had to also make black men gay.

01:40:07.000 I think maybe he made black men gay.

01:40:10.000 Or no, I think he had like gay robots that were seducing straight black men and then giving them AIDS.

01:40:17.000 It was a really complicated theory.

01:40:19.000 What's his name again?

01:40:21.000 Dan the Oracle?

01:40:22.000 No.

01:40:23.000 Dan the Oracle?

01:40:24.000 You think a black guy, that guy's named Dan?

01:40:28.000 Probably not.

01:40:29.000 He's like the Reverend blah, blah, blah.

01:40:33.000 Where the new banners go?

01:40:35.000 I love that feature.

01:40:36.000 Please bring back.

01:40:37.000 We got him.

01:40:38.000 Relax.

01:40:39.000 Hi, dog, G-Dog, and Homo.

01:40:45.000 I look more like a naked mole rat in this video, but anyway, this is my Indian Joker versus War.

01:40:50.000 Oh, did we already show you?

01:40:51.000 Yep.

01:40:52.000 Okay.

01:40:54.000 Hey, Gavin, what happened to Tom Christensen?

01:40:56.000 Why is he no longer included in the end card?

01:40:58.000 End card.

01:41:00.000 Things I wish I had for 200?

01:41:03.000 I can't tell you why he's no longer in the end card, I'm afraid.

01:41:06.000 He's gotten too much stuff.

01:41:08.000 He's a great guy.

01:41:10.000 Let's just say they've moved him.

01:41:12.000 And we still love him very much, and we talk to him.

01:41:15.000 But that's all we can do.

01:41:16.000 And it's nothing bad.

01:41:17.000 It's nothing bad.

01:41:18.000 Thumbs up.

01:41:18.000 Awesome.

01:41:19.000 But nothing great either.

01:41:21.000 Sorry, I forgot to mention, did you hear or see what happened at the Millwall football match over the weekend?

01:41:26.000 The players all, yes, I did see this.

01:41:27.000 They took the need to support.

01:41:28.000 I was just thinking about this today.

01:41:30.000 Probably because of the Gangs of London thing that was brought up at the gym, and then we started talking about soccer hooligans.

01:41:34.000 That was it.

01:41:35.000 The players all took the knee to show support for BLM.

01:41:37.000 The fans, returning to the stands for the first time after months away, started booing them.

01:41:42.000 Millwall has always had a thug reputation.

01:41:44.000 Of course, the media there have not shut up about it since and are smearing Millwall fans as racist shitbags.

01:41:49.000 Yeah, if you don't, if you're not on board 100%, you're a racist shitbag.

01:41:53.000 I saw this thing where they, it was in Austria or somewhere, where they built a big giant Black Lives Matter statue.

01:42:01.000 And these kids with red hats, they showed up and they put these boards around the statue and had the faces of white women who had been murdered, raped to death by Muslim immigrants.

01:42:15.000 And so they covered the Black Lives Matter with that.

01:42:17.000 And the headline was, white supremacists deface or destroy BLM statue.

01:42:26.000 And you're like, so wait a minute.

01:42:28.000 You're now a white supremacist if you basically do the Breonna Taylor say her name, but for a white victim?

01:42:36.000 That's white supremacy to acknowledge that white women are being murdered by these Muslim rape gangs.

01:42:42.000 It was in Austria.

01:42:44.000 BLM statue.

01:42:45.000 Go to Austria first.

01:42:46.000 That's the first actor, you fucking dirt.

01:42:56.000 Anyway.

01:42:58.000 Now we have to find it.

01:43:00.000 Watch how fast I do it.

01:43:01.000 Europe BLM statue covered victims rape.

01:43:14.000 I jump to images.

01:43:17.000 And...

01:43:18.000 Are we sure about Austria?

01:43:19.000 Okay, Austria.

01:43:20.000 Activists cover up BLM statue memorial with victims for terror attacks.

01:43:25.000 Oh, it's terror attacks.

01:43:27.000 They weren't raped today.

01:43:28.000 That's a rape.

01:43:28.000 Throw it off.

01:43:29.000 Okay, let's see it.

01:43:42.000 Better boy, um...

01:43:44.000 What's his name?

01:43:45.000 Britney Pettiborn's husband?

01:43:48.000 Martin.

01:43:59.000 Yeah, Martin Selmer?

01:44:00.000 Martin Selmner, if I do it all.

01:44:03.000 So that's, is that really white supremacy?

01:44:05.000 That's not like go back to Africa or anything.

01:44:08.000 That's showing the victims of terror attacks.

01:44:11.000 White Lives Matter.

01:44:13.000 It's now white supremacists to say white lives matter.

01:44:16.000 It's not black supremacists to say black lives matter because we're living in fucking clown world.

01:44:21.000 You want to throw a joker in here?

01:44:24.000 Oh, wait.

01:44:25.000 It's not an original one, though.

01:44:46.000 I think I was okay.

01:44:49.000 My favorite thing about the main guy is he thinks that he's blowing minds.

01:44:54.000 Milwaule has had a thug reputation.

01:44:56.000 The common people are not taking this shit anymore, and there'll be a lot more of this to come.

01:44:59.000 Sorry for the two messages, big uppercels.

01:45:01.000 No, that's the same message.

01:45:04.000 Yeah, I went to see a Luton game with Tommy Robinson in Luton.

01:45:09.000 And there was, Luton is over a 50% Muslim.

01:45:13.000 There was not one Muslim in the stands.

01:45:15.000 Not one.

01:45:18.000 And at the end of the game, the goalie came out and he handed Tommy Robinson's son his goalie gloves.

01:45:24.000 So that's what's really going on with football fans.

01:45:27.000 The players with their stumbles matter patches.

01:45:31.000 Black Lives Matter?

01:45:32.000 Black Lives Matter is about slavery in America and police violence.

01:45:38.000 British cops don't even have fucking guns.

01:45:41.000 What are you talking about?

01:45:42.000 How many black people are killed by cops in Britain?

01:45:46.000 None o'clock.

01:45:51.000 There's a bunch of these jokers.

01:45:55.000 We want you guys to send your joker faces.

01:45:58.000 Let's see.

01:46:00.000 Three, two, one.

01:46:09.000 Why the hell is sending us this shit?

01:46:11.000 We want to see your joker faces.

01:46:13.000 Don't show things to me that you haven't seen yet.

01:46:22.000 Okay, let's go to the end of the show.

01:46:27.000 Didn't mean this to be such a long show.

01:46:29.000 Final episode.

01:46:30.000 Or a final.

01:46:48.000 Now the lady we had on yesterday, this one screaming from her car, has just been canceled.

01:46:55.000 Let me just play the tiniest violin.

01:46:57.000 Fuck you.

01:46:59.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

01:47:01.000 God damn it.

01:47:02.000 This is how many windows I have open.

01:47:07.000 A teacher placed on leave.

01:47:08.000 Can you not do that?

01:47:11.000 Teacher placed on leave after unhinged rant.

01:47:14.000 I can't read it now because anti-locked.

01:47:17.000 Teacher placed on leave after unhinged rant towards peaceful anti-lockdown protesters.

01:47:22.000 So click on it.

01:47:24.000 Now, you know how I feel with free speech and yelling and screaming.

01:47:29.000 I love both of those things.

01:47:32.000 And I think cancel culture is retarded.

01:47:34.000 She's allowed to have her opinion and you're allowed to scream your opinions.

01:47:37.000 And you know, my belief is I've noticed over the years, the person yelling is always right.

01:47:44.000 That's been my experience.

01:47:45.000 The person yelling is always right.

01:47:47.000 Now, she's wrong in this case.

01:47:50.000 But her point is that, and from her perspective, everyone is dying and this teacher's dying and everyone's, this is all dangerous.

01:47:58.000 And okay, that's the perspective.

01:47:59.000 So I want her to have that.

01:48:01.000 But you started this cancel culture bullshit.

01:48:04.000 You started deplatforming everyone.

01:48:07.000 So yeah, I want you to suffer.

01:48:11.000 What?

01:48:15.000 What the f ⁇ ?

01:48:16.000 Okay, this is getting creepy.

01:48:19.000 Dude, I don't understand.

01:48:21.000 Talk about Spooky.

01:48:23.000 This whole episode has been like haunted or something.

01:48:39.000 That's enough.

01:48:39.000 We already watched this yesterday.

01:48:41.000 But what exactly happened to her?

01:48:43.000 She's on leave?

01:48:44.000 What does that mean?

01:48:45.000 We have substitute teachers.

01:48:48.000 In school, did you torture substitute teachers?

01:48:51.000 Yeah.

01:48:51.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:48:52.000 There was this one Indian one that she sent me that, yeah, it was like I yelled.

01:48:56.000 I don't know.

01:48:57.000 I was on a power trip.

01:48:58.000 That was like a really.

01:49:00.000 We tried to get them to cry.

01:49:01.000 It was unnecessary.

01:49:01.000 That was our goal.

01:49:02.000 I got Miss Detroit to cry, my actual teacher.

01:49:04.000 Nice.

01:49:05.000 And Miss Aaron, too.

01:49:07.000 Later on, my mom ran into her and she was like, yeah, he was the only student that made me cry.

01:49:11.000 And I remember what I did.

01:49:14.000 I was in a special class at DiAubre Moody Junior High, and I was such a fucking dick to Mr. Hamlin that he quit the profession and stopped being a teacher.

01:49:26.000 Wow.

01:49:27.000 And at the end, I've told this story before, but at the end of the year, he had a big bowl, a salad bowl of Mars bars, and it was like we're having a party, pizza party, and everything's cool and everything's fun.

01:49:37.000 And we had been at each other quite a bit because I was always fucking with him.

01:49:41.000 Like we had a thing we're going to do, the future.

01:49:44.000 So you have to, the challenge was every classroom has to decorate itself up like the future.

01:49:49.000 And so everyone was spacey and there was like digital doodle radio shack parts I wear.

01:49:53.000 And I was like, what about a dystopian future, Mr. Hamlin, where the place is destroyed and there's graffiti on the walls and stuff.

01:50:01.000 He goes, well, we can't graffiti, he was French Canadian, we can't graffiti on the walls.

01:50:05.000 No, we'll put a paper moron and then we'll strape it on the paper and stuff.

01:50:10.000 And here's another thing.

01:50:11.000 Maybe in the future, the teachers will be students and the teacher will just be like tied up in the corner of the room.

01:50:18.000 Like we can tie you up and put tape over your face.

01:50:22.000 I bullied him and I was 13.

01:50:25.000 So anyway, at the end of the year, he goes, hey, Gavin, I'd like to talk to you outside for a second, and I go, Why?

01:50:34.000 And so we go outside, and he goes, Look, we've had our ups and downs, and we I think at the end of the day, I recognize that you bubble with energy, and so I want you to know that I think we can still be friends.

01:50:53.000 And he holds out a Mars bar, but there's and I just looked at him and I sort of went, I look down at the Mars bar and I go, there's a whole bowl of them inside.

01:51:03.000 Oh, that's heartbreaking.

01:51:06.000 He's stuck there with the Mars bar.

01:51:07.000 Like, what the fuck?

01:51:09.000 What a prick.

01:51:11.000 That's sad.

01:51:12.000 Fuck you, Mr. Hamlin, you stupid pepper.

01:51:15.000 I don't regret it one bit.

01:51:17.000 I was a bad boy.

01:51:21.000 So what was I talking about?

01:51:23.000 So she's on leave.

01:51:23.000 We didn't really look into the details.

01:51:25.000 Let's see this.

01:51:26.000 Okay, look.

01:51:27.000 I've been to jail once for four hours.

01:51:30.000 I don't know what I would be like in prison.

01:51:32.000 I'd like to think that I wouldn't take any shit.

01:51:35.000 Oh, I emailed an ex-con about this video.

01:51:37.000 I wonder if he got back to me.

01:51:39.000 Lazy.

01:51:40.000 Lazie.

01:51:41.000 Lazie, lazy, lazy.

01:51:46.000 Uh-oh.

01:51:48.000 Getting distracted here.

01:51:49.000 In the meantime, we do have an original Joker.

01:51:56.000 Whoa, that guy's good.

01:51:57.000 That's really good.

01:51:58.000 Is he infested?

01:52:00.000 Yes.

01:52:01.000 Yeah, that's what we want, guys.

01:52:02.000 I'm a little upset.

01:52:03.000 Yeah, that's the Indian shit.

01:52:05.000 Come on.

01:52:05.000 Pretty easy.

01:52:07.000 We can look up Indian shit.

01:52:08.000 He didn't get back to me.

01:52:09.000 Oh, here's another one.

01:52:10.000 I'm texting him at noon.

01:52:13.000 What is he?

01:52:13.000 Some kind of jerk?

01:52:15.000 Not a joke.

01:52:16.000 He's like a total joke.

01:52:19.000 Huh.

01:52:20.000 Fucking dick.

01:52:21.000 Anyway, this is what I said to him.

01:52:23.000 Now, I'm not one to judge, and I've never been to prison, but I'd like to think I wouldn't take this from anyone under any circumstances.

01:52:35.000 So check out this video.

01:52:43.000 Talk to him.

01:52:44.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:52:45.000 Say, talk to him.

01:52:46.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:52:47.000 Talk to him.

01:52:50.000 Okay, okay.

01:52:51.000 Listen to me.

01:52:52.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:52:53.000 Say this.

01:52:53.000 Say Black Lives Matter.

01:52:55.000 Say it.

01:52:56.000 Black Lives Matter.

01:52:57.000 White Lives Shatter.

01:52:58.000 White Lives Shadow.

01:52:59.000 Now get the fuck out.

01:53:02.000 I want to know the story behind that.

01:53:03.000 But don't you think you wouldn't take that shit?

01:53:07.000 No.

01:53:08.000 It's easy to talk big.

01:53:10.000 All right, guys, cool.

01:53:11.000 I know.

01:53:12.000 I would fuck him up.

01:53:13.000 I'd rather die.

01:53:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:53:15.000 Yeah, whatever bad's going to happen anyway.

01:53:17.000 That's the worst case scenario.

01:53:19.000 You don't know until you're there with your feet on the ground.

01:53:21.000 You could be locked up.

01:53:22.000 You don't have to die inside.

01:53:24.000 Right.

01:53:25.000 Yeah, fuck that.

01:53:26.000 Maybe that happens once a year and then everyone leaves you alone for the rest of the year.

01:53:29.000 Maybe you were going to get stabbed.

01:53:30.000 Maybe there was a knife there.

01:53:31.000 Maybe they know your wife and your kids.

01:53:33.000 I don't know.

01:53:34.000 That's all right.

01:53:34.000 Maybe that's it.

01:53:36.000 But I really feel like I would just come out there guns ablazing and not take any shit.

01:53:44.000 I mean, when people, like, I told you that story when I was driving to work one day, some guy goes, ugh, because I didn't stop the car and let him cross.

01:53:53.000 But he was about 15 feet from the crosswalk.

01:53:56.000 And I just instinctually jumped out of the car and said, ran up to him and said, what?

01:54:00.000 What's the issue here?

01:54:01.000 Like, I think Scots, they don't even let you start with that.

01:54:07.000 But I was going to pick up.

01:54:09.000 What?

01:54:10.000 I was going to do a sound drop.

01:54:11.000 What happened?

01:54:12.000 I can't find it.

01:54:13.000 We'll get a better system then.

01:54:18.000 I don't like the buttshake.

01:54:20.000 That wasn't it.

01:54:21.000 You're useless.

01:54:23.000 All right, let's end on a fun note.

01:54:26.000 This guy did his Christmas decorations up real mass.

01:54:30.000 Real mass.

01:54:36.000 Emma Faso.

01:54:39.000 Oh, my God.

01:54:39.000 You better kill it.

01:54:41.000 You better kill it.

01:54:44.000 Show me something.

01:54:53.000 Nailed it.

01:54:54.000 Emma Faso.

01:54:55.000 I love it when a plan comes together.

01:54:57.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 08, 2020

S03E49 - JOE ROGAN'S EXPERIENCE [2020-12-08 - S03E49 - JOE ROGAN'S EXPERIENCE]

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