Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 22, 2021


S03E88 - AMERICAN RAGE


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 31 minutes

Words per Minute

159.43745

Word Count

24,091

Sentence Count

2,688

Misogynist Sentences

127

Hate Speech Sentences

184


Summary

On this week's episode of Get Off My Lawn, the boys discuss Lil Mama's new music video for her new album, "Lil Mama" and much, much more. Also, Ryan's computer is still lagging, and the boys talk about why it's time to get a new one.


Transcript

00:00:31.000 That was Lil Mama and Avril Levine remix.
00:00:38.000 One of the cornier videos ever made.
00:00:45.000 Lil Mama was everywhere for a while.
00:00:48.000 She had the hit lip gloss in 2007.
00:00:51.000 Look at that.
00:00:51.000 She does graffiti, but it's like previously on the wall.
00:00:55.000 So when she's going like that, it's just, yeah.
00:00:58.000 Is it done in Photoshop?
00:01:01.000 Maybe they're going.
00:01:01.000 Are they going for that and I'm just dumb?
00:01:14.000 She looks 40.
00:01:15.000 Yeah, she's only 30 something.
00:01:20.000 And in that video, she's probably 20.
00:01:24.000 She's an old jam.
00:01:34.000 Yeah, lip gloss was her big hit.
00:01:36.000 That was 2007 when she was 18.
00:01:39.000 And it's a jam, too.
00:01:41.000 I assume she's called Lil Mama because she has a kid as a teen, which is she should be called normal mama if she's from East New York.
00:01:52.000 Old Mama.
00:01:54.000 Just mama.
00:01:56.000 I have something here for you.
00:01:58.000 Oh, you had a kid at 18?
00:02:00.000 It worked for me.
00:02:01.000 So did everyone.
00:02:06.000 We should start wearing lip gloss.
00:02:08.000 I was thinking about that.
00:02:09.000 I was like, why don't guys get to wear lip gloss?
00:02:11.000 No, like really thick lip gloss, really shiny.
00:02:21.000 So she was a teenager there, but doesn't she look old as hell?
00:02:24.000 Yeah, she looks like a 40-year-old.
00:02:26.000 Damn, black crack.
00:02:28.000 They say black don't crack.
00:02:29.000 Look like a crack to me.
00:02:36.000 And you know another weird thing with this video is the dancing is very mediocre.
00:02:40.000 Yeah, there's nothing exceptional about what she's offering here.
00:02:44.000 Yeah.
00:02:45.000 Like, I could do this.
00:02:46.000 She's not stunning.
00:02:47.000 The dancing stinks.
00:02:48.000 Look at this guy, the nerd.
00:02:49.000 So they have this subplot here where the nerd's getting bullied and he's a nobody, and then he busts.
00:02:55.000 That's all he does.
00:02:56.000 Yeah.
00:02:57.000 What?
00:02:57.000 Wait, that's it?
00:02:58.000 That's it.
00:02:58.000 Go back, go back.
00:03:00.000 Oh, wait, he does some swirly whirlies there.
00:03:03.000 Why, and I can jump.
00:03:06.000 Should work.
00:03:11.000 And so we stopped beating him up for that?
00:03:13.000 I would think the beatings would increase.
00:03:15.000 Yeah, it's time to really beat his ass.
00:03:17.000 It's still lagging, Ryan.
00:03:18.000 You must have worked all weekend to fix the lagging, right?
00:03:21.000 Yeah, I upgraded our systems.
00:03:23.000 Did you really?
00:03:24.000 No.
00:03:25.000 I updated this last week and it's been shitty ever since.
00:03:29.000 So you didn't do anything since we last spoke to fix the lagging.
00:03:32.000 I could order a new computer, but I'd like to do that together.
00:03:34.000 So that way.
00:03:35.000 But just answer the question.
00:03:37.000 No.
00:03:41.000 The reason I brought up Lil Mama is because she wants to start a straights rights organization.
00:03:48.000 We seem to be overlapping with black America here on Get Off My Lawn, where we agree that what started as a cool concept, equality for the gays, has evolved into attacking heterosexuals, making them bake cakes for gay weddings.
00:04:05.000 What does she say there?
00:04:08.000 Can you move it over?
00:04:10.000 The screen's still broken.
00:04:11.000 And my glasses are broken.
00:04:12.000 Yeah, we need a new TV.
00:04:19.000 Yeah.
00:04:19.000 Y'all fights are to be respected, and some of you, not all, get a kick out of bullying people for having an option, how they dress, how their hair or makeup looks, how much money they have.
00:04:29.000 I don't have to prove myself by reminding people, blah, blah, blah.
00:04:32.000 So like everything she says about this is just apologies.
00:04:35.000 What is your thing?
00:04:36.000 Is it like a coalition?
00:04:40.000 So what is it, though?
00:04:41.000 I don't think she's thought past, I'm about to start this.
00:04:44.000 About to start a heterosexual rights room.
00:04:46.000 Anti-LGBTQ boy.
00:04:48.000 Comic Sans?
00:04:49.000 Really?
00:04:49.000 Yeah, that's tough.
00:04:51.000 Keep going, though.
00:04:56.000 Keep going.
00:04:59.000 Yeah, so she's just going to start it.
00:05:01.000 It's just starting.
00:05:03.000 That's all.
00:05:04.000 What it is and getting good at it means nothing.
00:05:08.000 Front page of the New York Post, back to Cuomo.
00:05:11.000 We had Biden.
00:05:13.000 Everyone saw him falling up the stairs, right?
00:05:14.000 It was embarrassing, but wow.
00:05:16.000 It gobbled up my feed for a long ass time.
00:05:21.000 I think the best meme I saw, I didn't put it in the notes, was a Donkey Kong one where there's barrels rolling down the stairs and they keep hitting him and then the Donkey Kong is at the top of the thing.
00:05:32.000 I didn't realize Mario or Mario, however you're supposed to say it over here, is from Donkey Kong.
00:05:38.000 That's the guy doing the jumps.
00:05:39.000 Yep.
00:05:40.000 What was his name again?
00:05:41.000 It was like he's a spin-off.
00:05:42.000 Mario and Donkey Kong.
00:05:45.000 And yeah, it was a spin-off.
00:05:47.000 Yeah.
00:05:47.000 Technically.
00:05:49.000 Benny Johnson had a spin-off.
00:05:50.000 I was just listening to Howard Stern in the car, and he was talking about Cuomo, and he was saying that.
00:06:00.000 You just went to Benny Johnson's because you figured he'd have the most?
00:06:02.000 He's got a couple.
00:06:03.000 Yeah, the Golf Swing one, you saw that.
00:06:05.000 Find the Donkey Kong one.
00:06:06.000 It's the best one.
00:06:07.000 I don't think Benny Johnson put it up.
00:06:09.000 Yeah, Kumi did.
00:06:10.000 Oh, wait, I just saw it so good.
00:06:12.000 There we go.
00:06:15.000 This is the winner.
00:06:16.000 We don't have to waste your time with all the others.
00:06:26.000 This sounds cute.
00:06:28.000 But the one I saw at Donkey Kong at the top At the end.
00:06:30.000 That I didn't see.
00:06:32.000 The golf one is the animation's off.
00:06:35.000 It doesn't rebound off his head, right?
00:06:38.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:39.000 It gets hidden by the sound effect.
00:06:41.000 The timing of the first one's really good.
00:06:48.000 But let me get to this.
00:06:49.000 So he goes, Yeah, I don't know.
00:06:51.000 And he's talking about Rand Paul, how Rand Paul used to be reasonable.
00:06:54.000 And now he's criticizing Dr. Fauci, who's given his wife to wife, who's given his life to public service.
00:07:01.000 Stern loves to talk about public service, like we don't all hate bureaucrats.
00:07:05.000 It's a devotion.
00:07:07.000 I hereby devote my life to public.
00:07:09.000 It's not a fucking monastery, Howie.
00:07:12.000 It's where parasites go to die.
00:07:14.000 It's an elephant's graveyard for my bank account.
00:07:17.000 Fuck bureaucrats.
00:07:19.000 Public service, my ass.
00:07:21.000 Fuck them all.
00:07:22.000 Except cops environment.
00:07:25.000 So he's all mad at Rand Paul for daring to criticize Dr. Fauci.
00:07:29.000 And then he goes, and Cuomo, a lot of people ask me about Cuomo.
00:07:31.000 I like Cuomo.
00:07:32.000 I think he's done a great job.
00:07:33.000 And, you know, I'm concerned about some of these allegations, but they'll be investigated and we'll figure it out.
00:07:39.000 You know, that's all.
00:07:41.000 Which I'm sure he was saying the same thing about Trump and Stormy Daniels and all of Trump's allegations.
00:07:46.000 And then he goes, then Stern says, I was in the car like this.
00:07:51.000 Then Stern says, but I wish they would focus on, you know, the incredible job he did with COVID.
00:07:57.000 And even Robin has to go, well, a lot of people are saying that, you know, that was botched.
00:08:03.000 What with the...
00:08:04.000 And then he goes, oh, yeah, the nursing homes.
00:08:08.000 That little detail.
00:08:09.000 That little detail where double the deaths happened that were reported.
00:08:14.000 Not 7,000, 16,000.
00:08:18.000 That's pretty bad.
00:08:19.000 That's 7,000 corpses floating around in the abyss of your dishonesty.
00:08:27.000 What's this now?
00:08:28.000 I don't know.
00:08:28.000 It's going to suck.
00:08:29.000 I can just tell.
00:08:30.000 I can tell.
00:08:30.000 New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo has been doing these press conferences.
00:08:34.000 Robin, they're unbelievable.
00:08:36.000 I've been living for them.
00:08:38.000 Andrew Cuomo is literally leading the country, okay, in this chart.
00:08:43.000 It's this awful pandemic right now.
00:08:45.000 Every time.
00:08:47.000 Pandemic right now.
00:08:47.000 He's not Italian.
00:08:48.000 Slips in that he's newly single.
00:08:51.000 His girlfriend, Sandra Lee, Beth knows I love her.
00:08:55.000 She and him broke up.
00:08:56.000 She's mad.
00:08:57.000 Shut up.
00:08:57.000 This is so boring.
00:08:58.000 Why'd you go to it?
00:09:02.000 Today's book, this is kind of exciting.
00:09:04.000 Ryan has managed to pick up a book.
00:09:08.000 Oh, yeah.
00:09:10.000 Here it is.
00:09:15.000 I haven't seen you read a book since I knew you.
00:09:17.000 I tried to make you read a book.
00:09:18.000 You read about a quarter of it and gave up.
00:09:21.000 True.
00:09:23.000 That's in four years.
00:09:24.000 Maybe more.
00:09:26.000 I just asked some advice from a friend, like, how do you read a book?
00:09:30.000 Like, I know how to read, but how do you stay comfortable?
00:09:33.000 And they're like, well, you lay down or you hold it like that.
00:09:38.000 That was part of the problem with me, is like being comfortable.
00:09:40.000 But you read most of that on the train.
00:09:42.000 Those are plastic hard seats.
00:09:44.000 Yeah, but...
00:09:45.000 So where does that argument?
00:09:46.000 The posture.
00:09:47.000 Now I feel like you're a Yabo and I'm a British aristocrat.
00:09:50.000 Your neck doesn't do that.
00:09:52.000 You gotta hold it like this.
00:09:54.000 And yeah, I breezed through a lot of it.
00:09:55.000 It's a little history of the world.
00:09:58.000 And what does that mean?
00:10:00.000 Well, in 1936, this German guy read this book about the world history and he was like, this sucks.
00:10:07.000 And they were like, well, why don't you make one in six weeks?
00:10:10.000 And he made one in six weeks and it's been translated into like 18 different languages.
00:10:13.000 And finally, recently, like before he died, he died when he was 92 recently, he made an English version.
00:10:20.000 So this is it.
00:10:21.000 It's got a lot of history.
00:10:22.000 Pre-biblical times to 2021?
00:10:27.000 Yeah, like about 2500 BC to now.
00:10:31.000 I'm like 50 pages in.
00:10:32.000 It's really good.
00:10:33.000 A biblical figure.
00:10:34.000 So you must still, are you up to Jesus yet?
00:10:36.000 Has he showed up?
00:10:37.000 No, still BC.
00:10:39.000 It's pretty exciting.
00:10:40.000 So you're looking forward to see?
00:10:42.000 Yes.
00:10:42.000 It'll be fun.
00:10:44.000 I had a fun weekend.
00:10:46.000 I saw the movie The Doorman by myself, and it is an accomplishment.
00:10:53.000 It is the shittiest movie I think I may have ever seen.
00:10:58.000 It's so shitty that I'm bringing it up on the show.
00:11:00.000 I recommend you watch it with friends.
00:11:02.000 You don't want to watch a good movie with friends because, I don't know, you can't talk.
00:11:08.000 This movie, talk away.
00:11:10.000 And one of the weirdest things about it is they have all these British people and foreigners playing New Yorkers.
00:11:17.000 So like the main bad guy is from Norway, but he's pretending to be from New York.
00:11:22.000 Then they have, what's his name, the French dude from the professional.
00:11:24.000 He's pretty good, but whatever.
00:11:26.000 He better be.
00:11:26.000 He's been doing this for half a century.
00:11:28.000 Like that dude.
00:11:30.000 That's the dude from The Bill.
00:11:32.000 That British police soap opera.
00:11:35.000 Should probably take the garbage out.
00:11:36.000 There's flies in the fucking studio.
00:11:39.000 That guy.
00:11:40.000 So he's British, but he has a New York accent.
00:11:43.000 What?
00:11:44.000 Why?
00:11:44.000 There's not enough old New Yorkers around?
00:11:46.000 Old theater rats?
00:11:48.000 Whatever you call people who are believing that shit?
00:11:51.000 Acting?
00:11:58.000 That sounds like a bunch of different things that aren't.
00:12:00.000 That's a British guy trying to do a New York accent.
00:12:04.000 Which I'd understand if we're in Beijing and you've got to try.
00:12:08.000 Remember that SNL sketch where it was all Norwegians being New Yorkers?
00:12:16.000 And they're like, you're really pissing me off, man.
00:12:18.000 I'm about to punch a hole in the wall.
00:12:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:22.000 Was that Fred Armison?
00:12:23.000 Fred Armison is definitely his idea.
00:12:25.000 Oh, yeah.
00:12:25.000 Norwegians played.
00:12:26.000 You could just tell when he was there, the sketches were better.
00:12:29.000 Replicate the style of American drama.
00:12:32.000 So, you better tell us, mister.
00:12:36.000 Did you do a crime of making graffiti?
00:12:39.000 We found a spray paint in the bin.
00:12:42.000 Of course, I did not.
00:12:43.000 Don't make me cross.
00:12:47.000 I haven't drank my coffee from the donut store yet.
00:12:52.000 Well, I suppose you better keep drinking because I have not made any wrong doing that.
00:12:56.000 Look how fucked up the New York logo is.
00:12:58.000 It's kind of crumpled.
00:13:00.000 Oh, copy.
00:13:01.000 I was in Britain once, and a guy was wearing that hat.
00:13:03.000 And it was actually a dial house at the Crass Farm.
00:13:05.000 And I go, dude, you know, where I live in New York, you wear that hat in a Mets area, you'll die.
00:13:11.000 And he took it off.
00:13:14.000 But we're not there.
00:13:16.000 Am I going to kill you?
00:13:17.000 But I guess in Britain, like in Glasgow, if you walk into a green bar, that means that there are Celtics fans.
00:13:22.000 And if you're wearing blue, you will die.
00:13:24.000 Wow.
00:13:25.000 So I was jokingly translating that to New York.
00:13:29.000 Although, you will get fucking tuned up if you wear a Yankees hat in Boston.
00:13:34.000 Anymore?
00:13:34.000 I don't know.
00:13:35.000 Yes.
00:13:36.000 Dude, you'll get tuned up if you exist in Boston.
00:13:39.000 I told you about that time.
00:13:40.000 I was at a strip club, and I looked through this woman's legs.
00:13:43.000 I'm dressed normal, nothing kooky about me.
00:13:46.000 I think I have on like a Brooks Brothers shirt and tattoos, whatever.
00:13:50.000 And I'm looking through a woman's legs.
00:13:51.000 It was a round bar.
00:13:54.000 We were actually outside of Boston in, I forget what it's called, but it's just, you know, a suburb of Boston.
00:14:00.000 Wooster or some crap.
00:14:02.000 Something like that.
00:14:03.000 And I'm looking through this woman's legs, totally calm, not drinking a fruity drink or anything.
00:14:07.000 And there's a guy looking back at me like, like, you want to go?
00:14:11.000 White Knighting from across the bar?
00:14:13.000 White Knighting?
00:14:15.000 Yeah.
00:14:16.000 White Knighting?
00:14:17.000 Oh, he wasn't mad that you were looking at the chick?
00:14:19.000 He thought you were looking at him?
00:14:21.000 Oh, it didn't even occur to me that he would be defending her honor.
00:14:24.000 She's naked on a bar at a strip club.
00:14:27.000 Yeah, that's a detective shitty strikes again.
00:14:29.000 Can you bring up the detective shitty thing?
00:14:32.000 Hey, you looking at this girl?
00:14:34.000 Hey, stop ogling her.
00:14:37.000 Wow.
00:14:39.000 You're stunned?
00:14:40.000 I'm just taken aback.
00:14:45.000 Was he maybe mad that you were looking at the girl at the strip club?
00:14:48.000 That's my stripper.
00:14:49.000 He didn't want guys looking at her?
00:14:51.000 That's my girlfriend, asshole.
00:14:53.000 And he was ready to throw down.
00:14:54.000 And I'm just like, wow, you guys sure love to brawl.
00:14:57.000 I don't know if I could muster up any anger right now.
00:15:00.000 But politically, there's such fruits.
00:15:02.000 There's such liberal fruits, but they're violent sports fans.
00:15:06.000 I don't get it.
00:15:06.000 It's so weird.
00:15:08.000 I don't get it.
00:15:12.000 But yeah, go back to that SNL sketch.
00:15:15.000 It's Detective Joe Smith.
00:15:17.000 Memorize this name.
00:15:19.000 I'm starting to become very cross with you.
00:15:23.000 Joe, do you want me to strike him with a knuckle sandwich?
00:15:27.000 Mud John.
00:15:28.000 I'll just read this newspaper of Le Bell and Using Wade.
00:15:32.000 Give me my Marlboro cigarettes, will ya?
00:15:37.000 I didn't make a graffiti.
00:15:40.000 You'll notice that the writers have painstakingly recreated American dialogue since the moment.
00:15:44.000 So go back to the doorman.
00:15:47.000 It's that fucking bad.
00:15:50.000 That sounds just fine.
00:15:54.000 No, go back a little more.
00:15:56.000 So once you get back to New York, about a week.
00:16:00.000 There's an opening.
00:16:02.000 At the apartment building where I'm working.
00:16:03.000 Not quite as exciting.
00:16:05.000 What is that?
00:16:06.000 What is that?
00:16:08.000 Holy shit.
00:16:09.000 At the apartment building where I'm working.
00:16:11.000 That sounds like a bad thing.
00:16:12.000 Are you working in an apartment building?
00:16:14.000 That's more in Boston.
00:16:15.000 It's Irish Boston, not parking.
00:16:17.000 Are you going to park your car?
00:16:19.000 You're going to take your dog for a walk?
00:16:22.000 At the apartment building where I'm working.
00:16:25.000 There's an opening at the apartment building where I'm working.
00:16:29.000 What is that?
00:16:30.000 I had to go to fucking IMDB and look up Uncle Pat to see where he was from because I had no idea.
00:16:42.000 That sounds just fine.
00:16:45.000 We use the next two days to get you acclimated, get the weekend off, and come back to work on Monday.
00:16:52.000 Did you hear that?
00:16:55.000 That made it to the trailer?
00:16:57.000 I would do some post, whatever they call that, editing, right?
00:17:01.000 Overdubbing, yeah.
00:17:01.000 Overdub with someone from Yonkers or some shit.
00:17:05.000 Hey, you're going to be here, one of the new guys.
00:17:07.000 You think you're going to handle that?
00:17:09.000 I hope so, because I love it in New York where I was born.
00:17:12.000 Man, after 9-1-1, it was really tough.
00:17:17.000 I really miss seeing the King Kong on top of the Twin Towers.
00:17:21.000 That's gone now.
00:17:23.000 Also, Spider-Man is not in the movie with the Twin Towers because they were knocked down by planes on 9-1-1.
00:17:29.000 Wow, you got a lot taller, like 200 meters taller than Statue of Liberty.
00:17:35.000 Okay, you think you can handle that?
00:17:38.000 Go back.
00:17:39.000 I'm sorry.
00:17:40.000 I have to hear that again.
00:17:42.000 That guy.
00:17:42.000 I looked him up too.
00:17:43.000 Huge Norwegian actor.
00:17:45.000 Like, most successful guy in Norway.
00:17:48.000 You know what this must be?
00:17:50.000 I got it.
00:17:51.000 This must be shot in fucking Stuttenflat.
00:17:55.000 And they get those benefits of shots.
00:17:57.000 So they get those crazy Euro grants.
00:18:00.000 But you have to use European actors.
00:18:02.000 That's it.
00:18:03.000 And Uncle Pat, Britain counts as Europe.
00:18:05.000 Norway is obviously European.
00:18:07.000 They shot it in Schloopenpluppen.
00:18:10.000 And so you get a bit of B-roll, right?
00:18:13.000 You get a yellow cab.
00:18:15.000 You get the Empire World Chrysler building.
00:18:21.000 And then you do the rest in this big fancy Budapest Pilsen Prague Czechoslovakian apartment.
00:18:28.000 That's definitely what fucking happened.
00:18:30.000 What was that one in the warehouse where it all took place there?
00:18:33.000 Oh, that piece of shit with Bruce Willis.
00:18:35.000 Yeah, so same thing, right?
00:18:37.000 Yeah, where he goes, I served in Prague, in Czechoslovakia, in Chechnya.
00:18:42.000 And you're like, wait, Prague is in Czechoslovakia.
00:18:44.000 What are you talking about?
00:18:45.000 30% discretionary cash rebate.
00:18:48.000 That's a lot.
00:18:49.000 Yeah.
00:18:50.000 Wait, you spend 10 million.
00:18:51.000 A lot of them, you spend 10 million, they'll put in 10 million.
00:18:53.000 Now you got a $20 million movie.
00:18:54.000 So as an investor, you go, yeah, I'm in.
00:18:56.000 Because my money doubles the second I write the check.
00:19:03.000 That sounds just like we got to hear the other doorman again.
00:19:06.000 We'll use the next two days to get you acclimated, get the weekend off, and come back to work on Monday.
00:19:12.000 Monday?
00:19:14.000 You got to work on Monday?
00:19:15.000 You think you can handle that?
00:19:18.000 And then the bad guys, of course, show up with their blonde mohawks as one.
00:19:24.000 Oh, that guy.
00:19:29.000 Hey, what's going on?
00:19:30.000 Hey, Who are you?
00:19:31.000 I promise our visit would be as brief as humanly possible.
00:19:37.000 Yeah, so they got like $10 million of paintings hidden in the wall, and they have to find it and they lock the apartment up.
00:19:42.000 But then she is a doorman because Uncle Pat got her the job and she thwarts their attack using lots of roundhouse kicks and fucking jumping and shooting all over that European building.
00:19:55.000 It's just a home alone reboot.
00:19:57.000 It's a really shitty Bruce Willis movie about Bruce Willis.
00:20:01.000 What's a decorated soldier doing here as a doorman?
00:20:06.000 Decorated.
00:20:07.000 What's she decorated with?
00:20:08.000 All name brands?
00:20:11.000 Prada outfit?
00:20:13.000 Yves St. Laurent.
00:20:14.000 Jean-Renault.
00:20:20.000 This is the whole movie, by the way.
00:20:21.000 You've just seen it.
00:20:24.000 You know what?
00:20:24.000 When you were saying, like, why don't we come up with a really shitty idea for a movie and just hire nobodies to do it?
00:20:30.000 Yeah.
00:20:30.000 It's like kind of like that.
00:20:32.000 Like, it's...
00:20:33.000 I like seeing corny stuff.
00:20:34.000 I did a script with Derek Beckles where it would have revolutionized film.
00:20:39.000 We had the funding too.
00:20:40.000 He moved too slowly on it and they gave up.
00:20:44.000 We were like a third of the way into this film.
00:20:47.000 And it was called.
00:20:50.000 It was called like The Boys or something or Harlem PD.
00:20:55.000 So it takes place in Harlem with the Harlem Police Department, HPD.
00:20:59.000 Maybe that was in the name, HPD, which of course there is none.
00:21:02.000 It's all NYPD.
00:21:04.000 And it's about two grizzled old cops who are almost at retirement, me and him.
00:21:09.000 And we've grown up in Harlem, but we, no, we get transferred to Harlem, that's it, from the city.
00:21:15.000 And the first thing we notice is corruption, but the cops don't want us rocking the boat.
00:21:19.000 So now we're against the corrupt gangs and the other HPD who don't want us stopping this money train.
00:21:26.000 So it's kind of like Serpico meets falling down without the falling down guy.
00:21:31.000 And we just want to retire.
00:21:33.000 But we got to solve this problem before we can relax.
00:21:36.000 Okay, so it's a pretty classic movie, but we shoot it in Pakistan.
00:21:43.000 Yeah, I like this.
00:21:44.000 So, and we don't tell them that we're trying to make it shitty.
00:21:49.000 We go, do your best.
00:21:50.000 So we have like a yellow cab and we have, and there's stupid scenes like a dog getting shot in the head, but by accident.
00:21:57.000 And it's really graphic because it's like, and we wouldn't tell anyone.
00:22:04.000 I would fucking fight anyone who spilled the beans to any of our staff.
00:22:08.000 So they would just be trying their best.
00:22:09.000 And we'd have the scene, just like in that SNL scene.
00:22:12.000 In fact, I thought of this before the SNL scene.
00:22:14.000 And we would have a scene like that where they'd have Afro wigs.
00:22:20.000 They'd all be blacks.
00:22:22.000 And like, yo, man, you ain't messing with my gravy.
00:22:24.000 No.
00:22:25.000 Yo, man, you ain't messing with my gravy train, fucking motherfuckers.
00:22:29.000 Yeah.
00:22:30.000 What are you bugging out right now?
00:22:32.000 So this comedy, if you read the script, it wouldn't be a comedy.
00:22:36.000 Yeah.
00:22:36.000 I was putting the comedy 100% in India, in Pakistan.
00:22:42.000 If we can get one of like the guys from the bar to just do British, like it's a British thing, can I show him?
00:22:50.000 Sure.
00:22:51.000 We showed this before, but just him trying his best British accent.
00:22:55.000 British.
00:22:56.000 And like he's the main character?
00:22:57.000 Oh my god, I would die to see that.
00:23:03.000 That would be so.
00:23:04.000 Oh, what?
00:23:04.000 Are you serious?
00:23:05.000 You kidding me?
00:23:05.000 Oh, oh, you're filming me now?
00:23:07.000 Oh.
00:23:08.000 That's Joe the Doofus.
00:23:10.000 Hey, man, listen.
00:23:11.000 Oh, what?
00:23:12.000 You're serious now?
00:23:12.000 Oh, what?
00:23:13.000 We're doing this?
00:23:14.000 Yeah.
00:23:14.000 He's the least funny person I've ever met.
00:23:16.000 When I wear a Hawaiian shirt, he goes, oh, check it out.
00:23:18.000 Gavin's got his shower curtain on again.
00:23:20.000 You can't make this stuff up.
00:23:22.000 Only here.
00:23:25.000 Yeah, you can make up that someone wore a Hawaiian shirt.
00:23:27.000 You ever think about just lying to him?
00:23:29.000 Like upping the lie, Auntie?
00:23:31.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.
00:23:32.000 That's fun.
00:23:33.000 By the way, speaking of Fred Armison, check out this Portlandia sketch, 5-1.
00:23:38.000 This is how prescient Fred is.
00:23:40.000 By the way, you know what race Fred Armison is?
00:23:44.000 Everything.
00:23:46.000 He's every race but black.
00:23:49.000 No, no, that's not what I wanted to show.
00:23:52.000 52, 5'2.
00:24:00.000 Isn't it funny how Portland is literally a joke?
00:24:03.000 And the mayor is a joke?
00:24:04.000 And then Ted Wheeler's on TV saying, I got punched in the face.
00:24:07.000 I don't like Antifa anymore.
00:24:08.000 And we go, yeah, you're a joke.
00:24:11.000 You're played by the guy from that show.
00:24:13.000 Kyle, what's his name?
00:24:16.000 Twinwood Peaks, whatever it was called.
00:24:18.000 Twin Peaks?
00:24:19.000 Twin Peaks.
00:24:28.000 Bicycle rights to go right!
00:24:30.000 Bicycle ride!
00:24:31.000 Bicycle!
00:24:32.000 I'm on a bike!
00:24:32.000 I'm on a bike!
00:24:33.000 I am on a bike.
00:24:33.000 You're gonna turn, gonna tell me!
00:24:35.000 Watch out, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike!
00:24:38.000 Cars, man, why?
00:24:40.000 I don't have a driver's license.
00:24:42.000 No dear.
00:24:42.000 There's a bike lane here.
00:24:43.000 Hey, I get this whole lane.
00:24:44.000 10 feet wool.
00:24:45.000 Oregon State Law at 10 feet.
00:24:47.000 Hey, birds, guys have little bikes.
00:24:50.000 What are you looking at?
00:24:51.000 How big that drive will look?
00:24:53.000 There's a joke.
00:24:54.000 Ted Wheeler, the joke.
00:24:57.000 I hope I get a sunburn.
00:25:01.000 Hold up.
00:25:02.000 I'm stopping.
00:25:03.000 I'm stopped.
00:25:05.000 That means I'm stopped.
00:25:06.000 Hold your middle.
00:25:07.000 Okay, now go to 5-1.
00:25:11.000 He's sort of like Daniel Klowes, the cartoonist, where he's so good at mocking people, he just becomes a documentarian.
00:25:17.000 Now, this is even funnier, and it's real here in New York City.
00:25:29.000 Brutal lagging.
00:25:38.000 He's got a loudspeaker.
00:25:41.000 Oh, there's a kid.
00:25:43.000 Sorry, kids, no running here.
00:25:45.000 Tourists who don't have bike lanes in their countries.
00:25:48.000 In case you don't know, sidewalks around your right.
00:25:52.000 I gave her the one-finger salute.
00:25:56.000 Scaring the shit out of old Chinese ladies, that's fun, especially in this day and age.
00:26:03.000 Oh, she just vanished.
00:26:07.000 I shouldn't have to yell at these people.
00:26:10.000 It's not very smart.
00:26:11.000 Not very smart.
00:26:13.000 He puts a little trophy on her head.
00:26:17.000 Hello, hello.
00:26:18.000 You are so fucking smart.
00:26:19.000 It's unbelievable.
00:26:20.000 It's unbelievable.
00:26:21.000 That's when you realize he's Puerto Rican.
00:26:23.000 He is, huh?
00:26:24.000 Or Dominican.
00:26:25.000 Yeah.
00:26:26.000 You're so smart.
00:26:27.000 It's unbelievable.
00:26:28.000 Yo, why are you so smart?
00:26:35.000 Oh, yeah.
00:26:35.000 Someone sent me a letter that I got to send you.
00:26:40.000 But you can jump ahead to 1-4.
00:26:49.000 She's running for something.
00:26:51.000 Yeah, there she is.
00:26:53.000 Catalina Lauffe.
00:26:55.000 So this guy sent me this letter, and he goes, Gavin, I have a perfect 10 for you.
00:27:00.000 You're going to freak.
00:27:01.000 I just emailed it to you.
00:27:02.000 And I looked at it and I went, sorry.
00:27:05.000 Too pretty.
00:27:07.000 That seven we had, the trashy waitress last week with the fishnets and the little bit of a gunt, that's perfection.
00:27:14.000 Seven is a 10.
00:27:15.000 Tens are sevens.
00:27:17.000 Tens are hack.
00:27:18.000 Tens are, I don't want her.
00:27:20.000 Look at her fucking teeth.
00:27:22.000 She's a drawing.
00:27:23.000 It's like Ashley St. Clair.
00:27:25.000 Too pretty.
00:27:26.000 Sorry.
00:27:27.000 Not interested.
00:27:28.000 This is, she calls herself the anti-ALC.
00:27:30.000 She's running against Rhino Adam Kinzinger in Illinois.
00:27:34.000 She's a solid nine.
00:27:34.000 If you don't think so, you probably need to go to the fag doctor and get the gay removed from you.
00:27:37.000 I know in the picture I'm attaching, she looks a little young, but as a two-for-one shot, I'll drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her piss in a tin cup over the phone.
00:27:46.000 That's a good one.
00:27:48.000 I like the one where they go, I would kill my entire family on Christmas morning just to eat her ass.
00:27:55.000 But this is my problem with beautiful standard beauty ladies.
00:28:00.000 They just look like handsome men.
00:28:01.000 Yeah.
00:28:02.000 Like that big chin.
00:28:05.000 You shave them, you put a tuxedo on them, you cut their hair short.
00:28:09.000 They're just gorgeous hunks.
00:28:10.000 That one's a stretch.
00:28:12.000 Well, it's a computer doing it, Detective Shitty.
00:28:15.000 What do you mean a stretch?
00:28:17.000 This isn't some artist coming up with someone who looks similar.
00:28:23.000 Or are these guys a little feminine, too?
00:28:25.000 I mean, they kind of are.
00:28:26.000 It's like they're meeting in the middle somewhere.
00:28:28.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:28:29.000 That's no fun.
00:28:31.000 Plus, I was raised on Barbie Benton in Playboy, so I was raised like girls with little button noses.
00:28:37.000 Not like a strong chin and a big, strong nose.
00:28:40.000 Like...
00:28:41.000 Well, that's obviously her today.
00:28:43.000 But what's her name?
00:28:45.000 Giselle Bunchin.
00:28:49.000 She had quite a wide nose.
00:28:50.000 It's much wider than I remember.
00:28:52.000 Giselle Bunchin, by the way, who has no ass.
00:28:54.000 Also, Gal Godot.
00:28:57.000 I was watching her in Justice League on the weekend because I put in a different movie and my fucking hack box brought up some other thing.
00:29:05.000 But look at that guy.
00:29:07.000 Imagine him in a three-piece suit, Tom Ford, and he's got a briefcase.
00:29:11.000 You're like, wow, I bet you get a lot of pussy.
00:29:14.000 That's the first thing I'd think when I saw him.
00:29:17.000 You should cut your hair, dude.
00:29:18.000 You look like a fag.
00:29:21.000 Actually, he doesn't even look like a fag.
00:29:23.000 That is duty.
00:29:24.000 He just looks like he's got really long hair.
00:29:26.000 He looks like a surfer.
00:29:27.000 Like a Fabio.
00:29:28.000 He's a cool surf, dude.
00:29:29.000 Did you know Fabio's red-pilled?
00:29:31.000 Nice.
00:29:32.000 That's good.
00:29:33.000 We got Hercules.
00:29:34.000 We got Fabio.
00:29:35.000 We got a lot of people.
00:29:36.000 We got people I can't say.
00:29:38.000 Frankly.
00:29:39.000 Frankly?
00:29:43.000 Okay, let's start the show.
00:29:45.000 Are we ready to rock?
00:29:47.000 Let's start with Biden.
00:29:50.000 Pet Biden?
00:29:52.000 My pet Biden.
00:29:58.000 Biden.
00:29:59.000 On him I can depend.
00:30:02.000 My pet.
00:30:03.000 Biden.
00:30:04.000 A monster of the present.
00:30:05.000 Lagging.
00:30:06.000 He's big and foolish.
00:30:07.000 Sleepy.
00:30:08.000 But a friendly monster too.
00:30:11.000 My pet.
00:30:12.000 Biden.
00:30:12.000 Wait, what?
00:30:12.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:30:17.000 Dude, so you think the only solution to lagging is a new computer?
00:30:21.000 Yeah.
00:30:22.000 Which I said, go ahead and buy.
00:30:24.000 And don't go through me.
00:30:25.000 Go through our tech guy.
00:30:26.000 He'll tell you what to buy.
00:30:27.000 I don't fucking know.
00:30:28.000 True.
00:30:33.000 Here's a gaff reel someone sent in.
00:30:36.000 These are getting old.
00:30:38.000 I don't mean they're getting old.
00:30:39.000 Sorry, let me rephrase that.
00:30:40.000 We're getting gaff reels of old shit.
00:30:42.000 There's so much good stuff with my pet Biden that if you have him doing a funny trick, I want it to be new 1.2 billion.
00:30:54.000 So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at a store in a supermarket.
00:30:58.000 You control the guy or the woman who runs the, runs, brings out the carts on a forklift.
00:31:05.000 What happened?
00:31:06.000 And Representative Shirley Jackson.
00:31:10.000 We already covered this.
00:31:11.000 He forgets his Secretary of State.
00:31:14.000 Affirmative action hire.
00:31:16.000 Excuse me.
00:31:18.000 Pinnell and I'm going to be able to get a lot of here.
00:31:21.000 I'm going to lose track here.
00:31:24.000 I'll lead an effective strategy to mobilize true international depression.
00:31:28.000 Brock and I think it's a right for people to have bad at Calif Care.
00:31:34.000 I just want to thank you both, and I want to thank the former general.
00:31:39.000 I keep calling him general.
00:31:41.000 Yeah, that's the one.
00:31:42.000 The guy who runs that outfit over there.
00:31:45.000 Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.
00:31:49.000 I sit on the stand and they get hot.
00:31:52.000 I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.
00:32:00.000 The only way to spare more pain and more loss, the only way these millstones no longer mark our national morning.
00:32:10.000 These milestones, I should say, no longer mark our national mourning.
00:32:14.000 That's one of the worst ones.
00:32:16.000 Wait, can you scroll?
00:32:17.000 Yeah.
00:32:18.000 That one hurt.
00:32:20.000 That might be our winner.
00:32:21.000 He completely abandons his original point 100%.
00:32:25.000 The only way to spare more pain and more loss, the only way.
00:32:29.000 Is what?
00:32:31.000 These millstones no longer mark our national mourning.
00:32:34.000 These milestones, I should say, no longer mark our national mourning.
00:32:40.000 Brains does not work.
00:32:42.000 Again, we are calling The Hague and we are charging America with a human rights violation.
00:32:49.000 They made a dying man, my pet Biden, the president.
00:32:54.000 That's sick and depraved.
00:32:57.000 What if I toured the country with the circus and I had a little pet that was an old man with Alzheimer's and dementia, a senile old man, and I had him run around, jump through hoops and say, hello and do little tricks.
00:33:09.000 And I would bounce jelly beans off his forehead as he tried to eat them.
00:33:13.000 I would be arrested.
00:33:16.000 Someone needs to be arrested for this.
00:33:19.000 It's morally wrong.
00:33:21.000 Who do we arrest?
00:33:22.000 That's true.
00:33:22.000 I don't know.
00:33:23.000 America.
00:33:24.000 America, you're under arrest.
00:33:27.000 The military, prison, industrial complex just quadruplified.
00:33:31.000 All men and women are created by the, go, you know the, you know the thing.
00:33:35.000 That's a t-shirt.
00:33:36.000 I keep forgetting how bad that one is.
00:33:38.000 That's a t-shirt.
00:33:39.000 We're selling that shirt.
00:33:40.000 Please go to censored.tv.
00:33:42.000 We don't promote our shirts enough.
00:33:44.000 I hear the Hodge twins make seven figures off their shirts, and we don't because we don't wear them.
00:33:48.000 But I don't like wearing a t-shirt on the show.
00:33:50.000 It seems disrespectful.
00:33:51.000 But as you can see, we have that Biden shirt.
00:33:53.000 Click on it.
00:33:57.000 Now, I made those in Photoshop because we hadn't made them yet.
00:34:00.000 But there's that one.
00:34:02.000 And there it is.
00:34:03.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident.
00:34:06.000 Men and women created by you know, you know the thing.
00:34:09.000 It's not wobbly like that.
00:34:11.000 I should update it with a better picture.
00:34:13.000 But we've got them right over there.
00:34:17.000 Go ahead, Joe.
00:34:18.000 Oh, men and women created.
00:34:21.000 By the, go, you know, you know the thing.
00:34:24.000 I want to be clear.
00:34:26.000 I've kept going nuts.
00:34:27.000 I'm not sure whether it's in medical school or where the hell I spoke, but it was on a campus.
00:34:31.000 Apology enough, Mr. Vice President.
00:34:34.000 Why are you texting?
00:34:35.000 Why, why, why, why, why, why, why are you?
00:34:37.000 You're getting nervous, man.
00:34:38.000 Calm down.
00:34:39.000 It's okay.
00:34:40.000 Tomorrow's Superstar, Tuesday.
00:34:42.000 And I want to thank you all.
00:34:45.000 I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?
00:34:47.000 And the kids used to come up and reach into the pool and rub my leg down.
00:34:51.000 So enough of it.
00:34:54.000 That's nothing.
00:34:56.000 Remember, we thought it couldn't get worse than that?
00:34:57.000 That's nothing, man.
00:34:59.000 You're a damn liar, man.
00:35:00.000 That's not true.
00:35:01.000 And no one has ever said that.
00:35:03.000 No one has done that.
00:35:05.000 Look, Fat.
00:35:05.000 Look, here's the deal.
00:35:06.000 Look, Fat to like about Vermont in terms of the beauty of it.
00:35:10.000 And what a neat town.
00:35:12.000 I mean, this is sort of a.
00:35:13.000 Because what you do here in Iowa, what they do in Iowa, what you do here in a primary in New Hampshire.
00:35:19.000 For example, if you are in the state of Ohio, which is the state of Ohio, like they're trying to do in the state of Ohio.
00:35:26.000 3,900 of them right here in the state of North South Carolina.
00:35:32.000 Of your South Carolina.
00:35:34.000 Cancer, Alzheimer's, and as well as diabetes.
00:35:40.000 Ladies and gentlemen, give me a break.
00:35:44.000 Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace can learn how to program, for God's sake.
00:35:49.000 The president thinks my friend from Vermont thinks that.
00:35:54.000 Remember, that's when his eye was bleeding.
00:35:56.000 That's my little sister, Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband.
00:35:59.000 Oh, no, listen.
00:36:00.000 Oh, you switched on me.
00:36:01.000 This is my wife.
00:36:02.000 This is my sister.
00:36:03.000 They switched on me.
00:36:05.000 Yeah, okay.
00:36:05.000 No, you haven't.
00:36:06.000 You're a lion dog-faced pony soldier.
00:36:08.000 You said you were, but now you got to be honest.
00:36:11.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
00:36:13.000 We got to stop a building and replacing Fight Point.
00:36:15.000 You have to go vote for someone.
00:36:17.000 What did he say there?
00:36:19.000 Go vote for someone else?
00:36:20.000 Yeah.
00:36:22.000 We got to stop a building and replacing Fight Point.
00:36:24.000 You have to go vote for someone.
00:36:26.000 Three former chairs of the Black Caucus, the only African-American woman that had ever been elected to the United States Senate.
00:36:33.000 A whole range of people.
00:36:35.000 My point is...
00:36:37.000 The other one is true.
00:36:41.000 I'm getting defensive of him.
00:36:42.000 I said that.
00:36:43.000 Stop laughing at him.
00:36:44.000 Don't laugh at him.
00:36:45.000 That's hard by him.
00:36:46.000 I like how he defends himself.
00:36:47.000 Stop laughing.
00:36:48.000 I said the first.
00:36:50.000 Okay, I think you mean like the eighth.
00:36:54.000 I wonder what number Kamala Harris is as far as African-American women elected this.
00:36:59.000 It's probably quite a bit.
00:37:02.000 That's true.
00:37:06.000 It's back when the left could laugh at him.
00:37:08.000 First African woman to the left.
00:37:11.000 First, African.
00:37:12.000 So my point is.
00:37:15.000 I'm looking forward to appointing the first African-American woman to the United States Senate.
00:37:20.000 Don't say you're a little late.
00:37:23.000 150 million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability.
00:37:32.000 My name's Joe Biden.
00:37:33.000 I'm a Democrat.
00:37:35.000 A candidate for the United States Senate.
00:37:37.000 Look me over.
00:37:38.000 If you like what you see, help out.
00:37:39.000 If not both, the other by give me a look, though, okay?
00:37:42.000 But that was hard.
00:37:44.000 That was hard.
00:37:45.000 Guess what?
00:37:45.000 If you elect me, I'm not going to have your, your taxes are going to be raised, not cut, if you benefit from that.
00:37:51.000 Now we need to stand behind Jamie Harrison, the next busy night, next city.
00:37:57.000 South Carolina.
00:37:58.000 He keeps calling people the president of the United States, like President Harris.
00:38:02.000 You know why?
00:38:03.000 Because his subconscious is saying, I don't want to do this.
00:38:06.000 Maybe them.
00:38:07.000 It's a subconscious cry for help.
00:38:10.000 Help.
00:38:11.000 Joe, I'd love to help you.
00:38:13.000 I want to rescue my pet Biden.
00:38:15.000 I want to take him to a golf course.
00:38:17.000 I want to take him to Mar-a-Lago.
00:38:19.000 Just sit there and relax, dude.
00:38:21.000 We'll bring your grandchildren by.
00:38:22.000 You can call them a lion dogface pony and we'll giggle when you get their names wrong.
00:38:27.000 That's what he deserves.
00:38:28.000 He should have a drink with a little orange slice in it.
00:38:31.000 Yeah.
00:38:31.000 Fucking leave him alone, you meanies.
00:38:34.000 I really did feel defensive when Corey Booker and Kamala were laughing at him.
00:38:37.000 It's like, hey, hey.
00:38:38.000 Hey, hey, hey, don't make fun of my great-grandpa.
00:38:42.000 I mean, we can, but.
00:38:44.000 All right, Chuck.
00:38:45.000 Thank you very much.
00:38:47.000 All right.
00:38:48.000 It's Chris, but anyway.
00:38:49.000 I just did Chris.
00:38:51.000 No, no, I just did Chuck.
00:38:53.000 I'm actually the son of the guy from 60 Minutes, so kind of famous.
00:38:58.000 Back to back.
00:38:59.000 Anyway.
00:39:00.000 No, it's up to you.
00:39:00.000 You do it early in the morning, too.
00:39:02.000 You said they would have to buy.
00:39:04.000 They would have to buy in.
00:39:04.000 If you qualify for the children's.
00:39:06.000 Are you forgetting what you said Maddie could be in?
00:39:08.000 Yes.
00:39:09.000 Are you forgetting already what you said just two minutes ago?
00:39:12.000 I'm beginning to see why your wife left you.
00:39:15.000 1.2 billion.
00:39:16.000 So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at the same time.
00:39:19.000 So this is the beginning again.
00:39:21.000 Okay, so my pet Biden is so adorable that he's taken all the illegal Mexicans and dressed them up as burritos and put them in large giant fridges where they will keep.
00:39:36.000 See, this is what happens when you elect someone's pet as the president.
00:39:41.000 He makes Mexicans into burritos.
00:39:43.000 I'm not kidding.
00:39:46.000 There they are.
00:39:47.000 Photographs of what it actually looks like inside this facility.
00:39:52.000 Shocking images showing people wrapped up in what looks like metal foil, laying on the ground, their faces covered.
00:40:01.000 Why won't the administration be honest about this?
00:40:03.000 I'm going to show you these images.
00:40:05.000 I'm on the ground in Donna, Texas.
00:40:07.000 You want to take a look at this facility right here.
00:40:08.000 It's a little bit of a one-year-old.
00:40:09.000 Just a month ago.
00:40:11.000 Sad.
00:40:11.000 I mean, I don't really laugh at stuff like that.
00:40:13.000 Oh, my God.
00:40:13.000 Was this a Mexican gun?
00:40:14.000 That's a horrific one.
00:40:15.000 Yep.
00:40:16.000 That's what they look like on the inside.
00:40:17.000 They sure do.
00:40:18.000 They look delicious.
00:40:20.000 Hey, we bleed red and green.
00:40:24.000 Maybe we're not eating burritos.
00:40:25.000 Maybe we've been eating Mexicans this whole time.
00:40:28.000 Soil and green is people.
00:40:31.000 Border Patrol agents completed the construction of that facility.
00:40:34.000 It's 165,000 square foot facility.
00:40:36.000 And we have never seen images inside this facility before.
00:40:41.000 They won't even allow it.
00:40:42.000 Take that on your own.
00:40:42.000 I was not kidding.
00:40:43.000 In Biden's America, we took the kids out of cages and we put them in burrito wrappers in the fridge to later eat them.
00:40:51.000 That's what's going on with this hunger crisis, this food shortage in America.
00:40:54.000 We're eating Mexicans.
00:40:56.000 And I know you think, but I'm eating it burrito with onions and beans.
00:41:00.000 That's what the inside of Mexicans look like, dummy.
00:41:03.000 I would not be surprised.
00:41:05.000 I've been in this business so long that when I see a controversy, I start going, wait a minute, that's the chick from the thing.
00:41:11.000 That's the guy from the stuff.
00:41:13.000 So remember the deputy press secretary, it was Biden's guy.
00:41:19.000 Not Jen Saki, but right below her, the deputy press secretary, was this little kid named T.J. Ducklow.
00:41:27.000 And if you go to 1-8, you can see how much of a little kid he is.
00:41:31.000 He looks like a rich kid's son.
00:41:34.000 And it's one of those faces that's never been punched.
00:41:37.000 But you can tell he's got a lot of attitude.
00:41:41.000 He's the sassiest intern on the block.
00:41:45.000 But that face has never received a punch.
00:41:47.000 Never delivered a punch either.
00:41:49.000 So he's not a man.
00:41:50.000 He's a child.
00:41:52.000 And people who haven't been punched or people who haven't experienced real conflict, they talk a big game.
00:41:58.000 So when someone threatened to expose an affair he's having with a journalist from Axios, he said, I will destroy you.
00:42:07.000 Remember that?
00:42:08.000 That was 1-7?
00:42:13.000 What does it say at the top?
00:42:16.000 He resigns.
00:42:17.000 Yeah, sorry.
00:42:18.000 He resigned after using abhorrent and unacceptable language.
00:42:21.000 Abhorrent.
00:42:22.000 That's like that fucking word atrocious.
00:42:25.000 I abhor both abhorrent and I think the word atrocious is atrocious.
00:42:32.000 Why are you trying to sound like a Victorian school marm?
00:42:36.000 But anyway, the chick that he was boinking, where he said, I will destroy you, is that Axios chick.
00:42:47.000 The one, sorry, that Teen Vogue editor who was fired for saying, is this 1.9?
00:42:55.000 Who was fired for saying for her anti-Asian tweets.
00:42:58.000 Oh, wait, now we're getting really deep into it.
00:43:01.000 So go back to 1.9, the National Post.
00:43:03.000 Ducklow32 warned a female political reporter against publishing a story about his relationship with Alexi McCammond of Axios, who'd cover the Biden campaign, according to a Vanity Affair report.
00:43:13.000 Alexi McCammond, that's the chick who had those anti-Asian tweets.
00:43:19.000 And the tweets, by the way, were pretty innocent.
00:43:21.000 To be clear here on the show, we love seeing people censored.
00:43:26.000 It's fucking funny.
00:43:27.000 So I am crying.
00:43:29.000 No tears for Alexi McCammond.
00:43:31.000 And as Milo points out, that's what we need.
00:43:34.000 We need normies to start getting censored so people know what it's like.
00:43:39.000 So far, it's just the freaks.
00:43:41.000 When it happens to the normies and the left, the left gets to taste their own medicine.
00:43:45.000 That's the only way they can learn how bad it is.
00:43:47.000 Just like people who've never been punched in the face.
00:43:50.000 So yeah, outdone by an Asian, that's not insulting.
00:43:53.000 Now Googling how to not wake up with swollen Asian eyes, that doesn't seem that insulting to me.
00:43:58.000 No, they've been using chink eyes for so long.
00:44:01.000 Well, yeah.
00:44:02.000 But I woke up, I looked Asian.
00:44:04.000 She wants to say Asian.
00:44:04.000 And I don't want to look Asian.
00:44:05.000 That doesn't mean you don't like Asians.
00:44:06.000 No one wants to look like a race they're not.
00:44:10.000 Like, if you're black and you wake up and you have food poisoning, you wake up, you're so pale you look white.
00:44:15.000 You'd go, I want to change this.
00:44:16.000 He wouldn't go, awesome, I get to be white.
00:44:18.000 So that one's not mean.
00:44:20.000 Give me a two out of 10 on my chem problem.
00:44:21.000 Cross out all my work and explain what I did wrong.
00:44:23.000 Thanks a lot, stupid Asian TV TA.
00:44:26.000 You're great.
00:44:27.000 What's the matter with that?
00:44:29.000 I don't...
00:44:31.000 I mean, there's definitely some malice in there, but not a lot.
00:44:37.000 And then what's this?
00:44:38.000 Last one?
00:44:39.000 I'm covering it up.
00:44:39.000 She was like an old Asian woman.
00:44:41.000 What's the matter with that?
00:44:43.000 So we only have one, and you could argue it's just a qualifier, just describing the person.
00:44:48.000 But anyway, I don't give a shit.
00:44:49.000 Good.
00:44:50.000 Fuck her.
00:44:50.000 I'm glad that she got caught fucking that dude.
00:44:53.000 I'm glad that he got caught saying I will destroy you and he had to resign.
00:44:56.000 I love it all.
00:44:57.000 But get this.
00:44:58.000 It gets better.
00:45:00.000 Some hideous Pilipina who...
00:45:05.000 That's her looking amazing, by the way.
00:45:08.000 Check out 2-1.
00:45:10.000 This is what she looks like.
00:45:12.000 She's Irish and Filipina.
00:45:13.000 Whoa.
00:45:14.000 Which apparently God is not a fan of.
00:45:18.000 Race mixing often works out great.
00:45:20.000 But in the case of Ryan Katsu Rivera and this, God does not approve.
00:45:27.000 Look at her fucking hideous tattoos.
00:45:29.000 Good times, man.
00:45:31.000 We had some good times over there.
00:45:37.000 That is a two?
00:45:42.000 I'm going to say a two.
00:45:44.000 That's being nice.
00:45:45.000 I want to leave room at one for you know people who just had their faces blown off in a car bomb accident.
00:45:51.000 It's it's this is tough because I want to say she's a one, but I know she's like actively competing to be like number one, number one.
00:45:58.000 Like she's in a look the most like a one contest, and I don't want to give her the credit.
00:46:03.000 Anyway, go back to 2-0.
00:46:05.000 So this chick was really happy about Alexi McCammon being fired for anti-Asian tweets because she's so Asian.
00:46:15.000 Meanwhile, look, if you have to tell people that you're a race, then you can't really jump on the victim train.
00:46:22.000 And so she gets caught saying the N-word.
00:46:27.000 And now she's in shit.
00:46:30.000 Isn't this great?
00:46:31.000 Yep.
00:46:32.000 And I'm sure, by the way, that teen Vogue chick, Alexi, I'm sure she was pro-cancel culture before it bit her in the ass.
00:46:38.000 I'm guessing, but I'm sure she was.
00:46:41.000 As well as TJ Ducklow.
00:46:43.000 So TJ Ducklow, Alexi McCammond, and this hideous bitch, what's her name?
00:46:49.000 Christine Davitt.
00:46:51.000 They've all been hoisted on their own retard.
00:46:55.000 And stop emailing me with the correction of that, you fucking morons.
00:46:58.000 But what did she say?
00:46:59.000 And even hers weren't so bad.
00:47:01.000 She's just using rap slang.
00:47:04.000 I love the contradictory nature of the phrase white nigger.
00:47:08.000 It's probably A with an A to it, right?
00:47:10.000 White nigger?
00:47:12.000 No, maybe.
00:47:14.000 Yeah.
00:47:14.000 Yeah, this white nigga racist.
00:47:16.000 Oh, right.
00:47:16.000 Because there's white nigger, which is like Lester Bangs would call himself that.
00:47:20.000 And he had a book, The Last of the White Niggers.
00:47:22.000 But she's probably too young to know any of that context.
00:47:24.000 So now it's like when black dudes are describing someone.
00:47:28.000 Like, yeah, I was with him.
00:47:29.000 He's a white nigga.
00:47:30.000 Yep.
00:47:30.000 I had a very black Sunday.
00:47:33.000 Did you?
00:47:33.000 Yeah.
00:47:34.000 Would you...
00:47:36.000 Never mind.
00:47:38.000 I was at church in a blue-collar neighborhood because I hate my local church, and that was mostly black.
00:47:46.000 And then I went to the bar.
00:47:49.000 My local bar had a wing competition with an Asian dude and a white guy.
00:47:53.000 But for some reason, half the bar was black.
00:47:56.000 They lost wings.
00:47:57.000 We also went, I took the kids to practice baseball because my youngest boy's getting into it.
00:48:02.000 And my older boy wanted to bond with him, I guess, because he got caught playing Nikki Nindor, so he's grounded.
00:48:07.000 So he has no screens.
00:48:09.000 So all of a sudden, he's like, I'll play with my brother.
00:48:10.000 You're secretly proud, though.
00:48:11.000 I got nothing else going on.
00:48:12.000 No, I wasn't proud of this one.
00:48:14.000 It was too rough, the Nikki Nindor.
00:48:17.000 You're supposed to go ding-dong and run, not bang-bang.
00:48:20.000 But he's got no screens for a week.
00:48:23.000 Which is funny to do that to kids, because you know what they do?
00:48:27.000 You go, well, now they're going to read or do other stuff.
00:48:29.000 You know what they do, at least for the first two days?
00:48:31.000 Just sit there and go, and then sometimes fall asleep.
00:48:38.000 Yeah, it's like a withdrawal.
00:48:39.000 Just fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day.
00:48:42.000 In other words, I'd rather not live when I don't have Fortnite.
00:48:47.000 What else was black about it?
00:48:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:48:49.000 So then we go.
00:48:50.000 So the only baseball diamonds that are available are in the projects.
00:48:54.000 I don't know why.
00:48:55.000 So we go down there and we're in the black part of town.
00:48:59.000 God damn it, these girls, I get the feeling they're all starting their day around 4 p.m.
00:49:04.000 And it makes sense, right?
00:49:05.000 You go to bed at 4 a.m.
00:49:06.000 You probably wake up at noon.
00:49:10.000 And that's eight hours, maybe one.
00:49:12.000 Then you lays around, you watch a show, you have breakfast, you get dressed, you have a shower, whatever.
00:49:17.000 So you're probably like ready to rock.
00:49:19.000 You've met all your friends at 4 p.m., which means in the winter, they must not see the sun for weeks at a time.
00:49:24.000 But they have this speaker.
00:49:26.000 The hot thing with the youths today in New York and the surrounding suburbs is to carry a speaker around.
00:49:33.000 So we're back to the boombox days.
00:49:35.000 But it's a speaker that goes on your backpack or something and it's fucking loud.
00:49:39.000 This one was the size of a printer.
00:49:43.000 It was this big.
00:49:45.000 And it was so big it was on wheels.
00:49:47.000 And she's blaring, she's walking by, she's with her six or seven friends.
00:49:52.000 And she's walking by the baseball dime we were at was next to a kid's play yard.
00:49:57.000 So there's a bunch of four-year-olds, mostly illegal Mexicans.
00:50:00.000 And she's walking by them with, motherfucked you, Adam.
00:50:03.000 Remember when I fucked you on the couch?
00:50:05.000 Motherfuckers, fuck this shit, nigga.
00:50:08.000 Yo, nigga.
00:50:10.000 Like really clear N-words.
00:50:13.000 I said, what, nigga?
00:50:14.000 Like the music stops.
00:50:16.000 I said, what, nigga?
00:50:19.000 So definitely learning that word if you're four.
00:50:23.000 My youngest boy gets like, dad, it's so loud.
00:50:25.000 And they're swearing and there's kids there.
00:50:27.000 Yep.
00:50:27.000 I go, they're well aware, my dear.
00:50:29.000 They're well aware of what they're up to.
00:50:32.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:33.000 It's called, fuck everyone but me.
00:50:36.000 You know what I wound up doing?
00:50:37.000 And you can imagine how loud a speaker is that's the size of a printer.
00:50:41.000 Oh, and here's the other annoying thing.
00:50:43.000 Her Bluetooth connection was off.
00:50:46.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:46.000 So it was like it was designed by Ryan Katsu Rivera.
00:50:52.000 It would skip and come in and out occasionally.
00:50:54.000 Oh, no.
00:50:55.000 And you never got more than like 13 seconds of perfect music.
00:51:00.000 That's one of my biggest problems in the world right now.
00:51:03.000 Or sometimes when I take the train, they play their, just from their phone, just like, I'm on a flock.
00:51:10.000 Oh, yeah, that's annoying, too.
00:51:12.000 And I'm just, I sit there and I'm next to my girlfriend.
00:51:14.000 I'm just like, like, it must take a lot of balls to just play your music out there like that.
00:51:18.000 And I'm just, you know, play their music with on speakerphone, but also make calls.
00:51:24.000 Then with Gee, talk to you and be like, who was that?
00:51:26.000 Was that white nigga there?
00:51:27.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:51:28.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:51:28.000 Okay.
00:51:29.000 Yeah.
00:51:29.000 And you can hear this super fucking loud.
00:51:32.000 And then there's a commercial.
00:51:34.000 Where it's like, if you want to join Freshly today, and it's just like, skip it.
00:51:37.000 At least get conversations.
00:51:38.000 You're talking about music.
00:51:39.000 We got the conversation.
00:51:40.000 I got it all.
00:51:40.000 You don't get commercials in conversations.
00:51:42.000 I get the conversations.
00:51:43.000 Yeah.
00:51:44.000 But it's the music because I don't know.
00:51:47.000 Because there's usually more sex involved.
00:51:49.000 And there are kids around.
00:51:50.000 So the Alexei McCammon thing is going still.
00:51:54.000 It's still going.
00:51:55.000 So now we have this dude who says she deserved to be fired, right?
00:52:00.000 Stephen Thrasher.
00:52:02.000 He's a successful gay black professor who people have to listen to, and he's an absolute retard.
00:52:11.000 Like a child.
00:52:15.000 Here, move this over.
00:52:16.000 I can't read it.
00:52:17.000 Dr. Stephen Thrasher.
00:52:20.000 Yeah, not Thrasher.
00:52:21.000 Welp.
00:52:22.000 Everything about this hire was wrong.
00:52:24.000 So they're saying they never should have hired her in the first place.
00:52:27.000 And he is a democratic socialist.
00:52:29.000 So he puts everything through a Marxist lens.
00:52:33.000 She was way too close to the White House.
00:52:35.000 She had never been an editor before.
00:52:36.000 She had poor racial analysis.
00:52:40.000 What does that mean?
00:52:41.000 And then this professor who teaches kids said she had anti-Asian writing.
00:52:46.000 When she was a teen, she said, my Asian TA.
00:52:50.000 And staff didn't want her.
00:52:52.000 Well, we saw the kind of staff that said they didn't want her.
00:52:55.000 A bunch of racist ones.
00:52:58.000 And then this is her talking about why she quit, but keep going down.
00:53:03.000 They seem to be going for representational optics over substance.
00:53:09.000 There is no shortage of black women, people of color.
00:53:12.000 QTPOC, queer trans people of color.
00:53:15.000 Wow, I'm learning their language.
00:53:18.000 Who could have done this?
00:53:19.000 Really?
00:53:20.000 There's a lot of trans women of color with experience as editors and no offensive tweets?
00:53:28.000 I don't believe you, Thresher.
00:53:31.000 But yeah, isn't it funny how, so this guy teaches kids and he says that she had anti-Asian writings.
00:53:38.000 Meanwhile, she said, was my fucking Asian TA didn't help me with my work.
00:53:43.000 She is very hot, isn't she?
00:53:45.000 Maybe that's the beef here.
00:53:47.000 I'm in a real solving mood today.
00:53:49.000 I'm Detective Gavi.
00:53:51.000 You're Detective Shitty.
00:53:52.000 That's the beef.
00:53:54.000 She's too pretty, too acceptable.
00:53:58.000 Like it was sort of like when the Cosby show came out, a lot of black power people were pissed off that they were all mochaccino.
00:54:06.000 They were too light-skinned.
00:54:08.000 They were too acceptable to the mainstream.
00:54:11.000 So that's why they don't like her.
00:54:12.000 And all the ugly chicks teamed up and said, fuck her, she's a racist.
00:54:17.000 Because they can't say, fuck her, she's pretty.
00:54:19.000 Meanwhile, this guy, Michael Thrasher, is in shit.
00:54:24.000 Look at his fucking face.
00:54:26.000 Can you imagine how annoying he is?
00:54:29.000 And he probably has a lisp, too.
00:54:31.000 You think so?
00:54:32.000 I think this is the one.
00:54:34.000 Imagine talking to him about Trump and intersectionality.
00:54:37.000 So he's calling Israel an apartheid state.
00:54:40.000 And he supports that boycott Israel thing.
00:54:45.000 You know why?
00:54:45.000 Basically, because Israelis are white to him.
00:54:48.000 They're the ultimate whites, and he's a racist.
00:54:51.000 That's a lot of Israel hatred is just like, I hate the super whites.
00:54:56.000 I hate the winners of the white race.
00:55:00.000 And I hate white people.
00:55:01.000 So if you get the best whites, the most successful whites, with their own state, I hate it.
00:55:06.000 Go to journalist Stephen Smasher.
00:55:10.000 Why has so little changed, you think, in terms of community relations over the past 20 or 10 years?
00:55:16.000 Doesn't he look like there's something up his ass?
00:55:18.000 Thank you for having me on your program.
00:55:20.000 Structural racism has been happening in the United States of America since before our nation was a nation.
00:55:26.000 And so things are not about to change very quickly in just a number of days or even a number of years.
00:55:31.000 Listen to his logic.
00:55:35.000 Things have been going on for 400 years.
00:55:38.000 Therefore, nothing's going to change.
00:55:40.000 What does that mean?
00:55:42.000 Like, we used to cook over a fire in the Wild West.
00:55:47.000 So there's no, that's not going to change anytime soon.
00:55:50.000 Yeah, actually, there's buildings in the Wild West now.
00:55:53.000 There's ovens everywhere.
00:55:54.000 Obviously, it changed.
00:55:56.000 Just because something existed a long time ago is not proof that nothing's going to change.
00:56:01.000 What?
00:56:02.000 I'm in California, near Los Angeles.
00:56:04.000 And of course, you have seen some changes over the decades since the events you were just describing in your last segment.
00:56:10.000 But there are large historical and sociological trends that structure racism into the nature of the law, into the fabric of our country, and that's not going to disappear just in a short amount of time.
00:56:20.000 Why not?
00:56:21.000 Is it though?
00:56:22.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:56:22.000 That's enough.
00:56:24.000 Actually, that's a good segue into racism.
00:56:29.000 Let's talk about racism.
00:56:32.000 Let's talk about racism that was racist, guys.
00:56:42.000 All right, speaking of British talk show hosts, I saw this on the World Wide Web recently.
00:56:47.000 It was some football ooligan talking and defending Trump and then just getting lambasted by a fucking asshole.
00:56:55.000 I just thought I have to take this apart in the green screen room.
00:57:03.000 The only thing worse than some fucking posh cunt bullying some geez, some yob, some lad, is when it works.
00:57:10.000 That's what fucking really pisses me off.
00:57:12.000 So this cunt, James O'Brien, is fucking an asshole.
00:57:17.000 LBC, I thought that was relatively right wing.
00:57:21.000 But anyway, this guy is a never-Trumper, and some geezer calls in.
00:57:26.000 And working class Brits are intimidated by posh people.
00:57:32.000 I don't know why.
00:57:33.000 They hate them.
00:57:34.000 Well, you want to be middle class.
00:57:36.000 But they also, when they go toe-to-toe, they don't know what to do.
00:57:40.000 They get intimidated.
00:57:40.000 They think they're so educated.
00:57:42.000 And it makes them flustered.
00:57:43.000 And it drives me fucking crazy.
00:57:46.000 Because I know these cunts.
00:57:48.000 And they're cunts.
00:57:49.000 All right.
00:57:50.000 So let's start this off.
00:57:51.000 It's self-explanatory.
00:57:52.000 I just want to say I'm actually a fan of Trump.
00:57:55.000 Nothing.
00:57:55.000 There's a lot of stuff in the media which are lies.
00:57:58.000 Stop.
00:57:59.000 Go on.
00:58:02.000 Did you get crazy glue?
00:58:03.000 My glasses are still broken.
00:58:05.000 It wasn't in the end.
00:58:06.000 Don't worry about it.
00:58:07.000 Okay.
00:58:09.000 So, yeah, he likes Trump.
00:58:10.000 He likes Trump probably because of the populism.
00:58:12.000 You know, that's a popular thing.
00:58:14.000 And I would argue that working-class Brits, they're pub culture people.
00:58:18.000 They're conversationalist by nature.
00:58:20.000 And they're also much more honest.
00:58:22.000 These aristocrats, these academics, the British academics, they like to play devil's advocate.
00:58:28.000 And for them, conversation is a joust where you take different arguments just to debate as you learned in public school, which is private school over there.
00:58:38.000 But with jobs, it's more like, What are you doing?
00:58:40.000 Are you mad?
00:58:40.000 What's going on?
00:58:41.000 I'm not mad.
00:58:42.000 Oh, right.
00:58:43.000 Whereas maybe I am angry.
00:58:45.000 Oh, what is anger anyway?
00:58:47.000 That's the sort of upper middle class, upper class way of talking.
00:58:51.000 So the working class guy's sort of taken aback by this because he's used to more direct conversation.
00:58:59.000 I know yourself, you're obviously anti-Trump.
00:59:03.000 No, go on.
00:59:03.000 What are the lies that you're unhappy about?
00:59:05.000 See, notice that you're obviously anti-Trump, just saying it like it is.
00:59:08.000 And then he's like, go on, go on.
00:59:10.000 What are the lies?
00:59:10.000 What are the lies?
00:59:12.000 Well, no, I just think you even said this morning, you said it's okay for him.
00:59:16.000 What is it, the quote you used?
00:59:17.000 It's okay to be racist again?
00:59:19.000 Yeah.
00:59:20.000 When, when, okay, so how do you draw that conclusion?
00:59:24.000 He accused Barack Obama of not having been born in America and lying about his birth certificate.
00:59:28.000 Stop.
00:59:30.000 That's racist.
00:59:32.000 What?
00:59:33.000 Against what?
00:59:34.000 Hawaiians?
00:59:34.000 And by the way, being a birther is considered being a flat earther.
00:59:39.000 I'm officially open-minded about that.
00:59:42.000 I've talked to some people who have seen the birth certificate.
00:59:46.000 They say that it looks unlike other Hawaiian birth certificates.
00:59:50.000 Charles Johnson pursued this for a long time and seems convinced it's a lie.
00:59:56.000 So, I mean, I don't know.
00:59:59.000 But I'm open to it.
01:00:00.000 And the last thing I think is racism when you say Barack Obama wasn't born here.
01:00:07.000 His dad's African.
01:00:12.000 Ted Cruz got accused of that.
01:00:14.000 Remember?
01:00:14.000 And I think it's true.
01:00:16.000 Ted Cruz's argument, I guess, is that it's an American military base, so it's technically America.
01:00:22.000 But it's something that comes up.
01:00:24.000 Anyway, go ahead.
01:00:25.000 So how's that racist?
01:00:27.000 Birtherism is racist because Barack Obama is...
01:00:30.000 Well, you can't.
01:00:31.000 I mean, you can talk over me if you want, Stephen, but there are previous presidents that have actually been white that have also not been accused of being born in America.
01:00:39.000 So was that also racist?
01:00:40.000 No, of course it wouldn't be racist.
01:00:42.000 Who was that, by the way?
01:00:44.000 Okay, so he's fucked up.
01:00:45.000 He didn't have all his ducks in a row, as James O'Brien's about to say.
01:00:49.000 But make it hypothetical then, if you can't think of who it is.
01:00:53.000 Is it racist to accuse a white president of not being born there, being born in Canada or something?
01:00:58.000 Wasn't there something weird with John McCain?
01:01:01.000 Wasn't he born on like an American naval base or some shit?
01:01:05.000 But anyway, then he goes on to say, James O'Brien says, no, it's not racist if you accuse a white guy of not being born in America, but it's racist if you accuse a black guy.
01:01:17.000 What?
01:01:19.000 I mean, Barack Obama's dad was a foreigner.
01:01:22.000 I think there's plenty of reason to debate if anyone with a foreigner dad was born in this country or the foreign guy's country.
01:01:34.000 McCain does not qualify as a natural-born citizen.
01:01:36.000 He was born in Panama.
01:01:37.000 See, it comes up.
01:01:39.000 So this is a presidential...
01:01:41.000 Two presidential candidates have had their birtherness questioned.
01:01:47.000 I think a president from 1880...
01:01:51.000 No, come on, you're on national radio.
01:01:52.000 You've got your ducks in a row.
01:01:53.000 Tell me about the last time an American president was accused of not being born in America.
01:01:56.000 I've got other names, but it is.
01:01:57.000 Oh, don't be silly.
01:01:58.000 Don't tease me.
01:01:59.000 Of course you haven't fought.
01:02:00.000 Don't be silly.
01:02:00.000 Don't tease me.
01:02:02.000 So this is like a private school thing in a debate where you'd have a formal debate and you'd be scoring points back and forth.
01:02:09.000 That's great for debate.
01:02:11.000 And I'm not against that in an academic setting.
01:02:13.000 It's good practice.
01:02:14.000 But here in reality, when it's two human beings talking face to face, trying to get through the truth, it's not a competition, mate.
01:02:22.000 So there's no need to fry him.
01:02:24.000 Oh, there.
01:02:25.000 So he forgot Chester Arthur's name.
01:02:27.000 And we're going to dwell on that to demean the guy so he feels like shit and doesn't want to talk to James anymore.
01:02:33.000 And then James can call that a victory.
01:02:35.000 Because that's what this is.
01:02:36.000 It's a silly joust.
01:02:38.000 It's a jousting match.
01:02:39.000 It's not a conversation.
01:02:41.000 You wouldn't come on the radio and say something and then immediately fall apart in response to the first question you ask.
01:02:48.000 It's not falling apart.
01:02:49.000 Okay, so let's go back to the lies that have been told about Donald Trump.
01:02:52.000 Which one would you reach for first?
01:02:55.000 That he's anti-Semitic, that he's, I think, the racist is a great one.
01:02:58.000 It's America's number one obsession, and it's totally invalid with Donald Trump.
01:03:03.000 He was not called a racist before he was president.
01:03:06.000 He was known as the cool, black-friendly guy.
01:03:08.000 In fact, the snobs always hated that about him, that his country clubs were open to anyone with the money.
01:03:15.000 And he was the opposite of an elitist.
01:03:17.000 And that pisses people off.
01:03:18.000 He's a populist.
01:03:19.000 You want to ask me what I love about him?
01:03:21.000 I love his fans.
01:03:22.000 That's the best thing about Trump, is Trump's supporters.
01:03:25.000 Real, died-in-the-wool Americans.
01:03:28.000 You just said it's okay for the racists to come out.
01:03:32.000 Well, we've just demonstrated.
01:03:34.000 He's very popular with racists, Stephen.
01:03:35.000 I think we can all agree on that.
01:03:38.000 Okay, first of all, he's very popular.
01:03:41.000 And secondly, we've gone through this a thousand times.
01:03:44.000 It's guilt by association.
01:03:46.000 Chocolate ice cream is very popular with racists.
01:03:49.000 It doesn't mean that you're racist if racists like you.
01:03:52.000 It means that there is a Venn diagram and there is some overlap with the bad guys.
01:04:00.000 A lot of what fucking Louis Farrakhan says is popular with racists when it comes to Israel and anti-Semitism.
01:04:08.000 Does that make Louis Farrakhan a white nationalist?
01:04:12.000 Help me out here.
01:04:16.000 Racists.
01:04:18.000 So it wasn't white nationalists that invaded the capital last week then?
01:04:22.000 See, look at how he phrases this question.
01:04:25.000 It's just a fact that white nationalists invaded the capital.
01:04:29.000 No, white nationalists did.
01:04:31.000 There was an idiot with a Camp Auschwitz shirt on.
01:04:38.000 There was a guy with a Confederate flag.
01:04:41.000 And if you think Confederate flags are racist, you obviously haven't been to America.
01:04:44.000 You don't understand the nuance with that flag.
01:04:49.000 It means a million different things in different parts of the country.
01:04:51.000 In upstate New York, it means I hate New York City, but I love New York State.
01:04:55.000 That's what the Confederate flag means, upstate New York.
01:04:58.000 But anyway, because one or two white nationalists were among the mob who invaded the Capitol, does that mean quote-unquote white nationalists invaded the Capitol?
01:05:09.000 If one of them surfed, do we now say surfers invade the Capitol?
01:05:14.000 Fuck you.
01:05:15.000 Shit logic.
01:05:17.000 And you're saying it.
01:05:17.000 Look at his little condescending wrinkles on his fucking forehead.
01:05:22.000 Don't you just want to pound him right there?
01:05:24.000 I know it's not an effective place to punch.
01:05:26.000 I know we'd be better off knocking him out here on the button.
01:05:29.000 I still want to punch those wrinkles.
01:05:31.000 I don't care if I break my fist.
01:05:36.000 Steve Bannon, his key advisor.
01:05:37.000 Steve Bannon, his key advisor during the presidential campaign, who's now been pardoned for ripping off Trump supporters.
01:05:43.000 Stop.
01:05:44.000 So the controversy there was Steve Bannon was funding, was using Trump supporters' money to help build a wall, and that apparently was a bad allocation of funds.
01:05:55.000 Hey, if I'm giving the Trump administration money, please do spend it on a wall.
01:06:00.000 So ripping off is a strong term, hence the pardon.
01:06:05.000 But where are you going with this, James?
01:06:07.000 Didn't say you should wear the accusation of racism like a badge of honor.
01:06:10.000 Stop.
01:06:11.000 See, this is the tone here.
01:06:12.000 So white nationalists did not invade the capital.
01:06:15.000 So it's just accepted as a fact when you state it like it.
01:06:18.000 So two and two is not full.
01:06:19.000 What is two and two?
01:06:20.000 Is it five?
01:06:22.000 You're sort of stuck there.
01:06:23.000 And if you're not used to being condescended, because in working class Britain, this would mean a fight.
01:06:29.000 So if someone's talking to you, they're ready to brawl.
01:06:32.000 And when someone's ready to brawl, you go, oh shit, this guy really has the courage of his convictions.
01:06:36.000 No, caller.
01:06:36.000 James O'Brien's not ready to brawl.
01:06:39.000 He's not used to being punched in the face.
01:06:41.000 He's used to being a shithead, playing devil's advocate like it's a silly game, fucking over people, lying, and then making you look like the asshole.
01:06:49.000 It frustrates me that you're not used to this.
01:06:53.000 Maybe I'm too ambidextrous.
01:06:55.000 I hang out with the right and the left, the rich and the poor.
01:07:00.000 But I can see this bullshit for what it is.
01:07:02.000 Well, that's his cry.
01:07:03.000 I mean, if that's what he's saying.
01:07:05.000 See, now stop.
01:07:07.000 Steve Bennett did say wear racism as a badge of honor.
01:07:10.000 And what he meant was, we're all being called racist.
01:07:13.000 Don't dance away from it.
01:07:15.000 Don't get scared.
01:07:16.000 You're a racist now if you shit.
01:07:19.000 You're a racist if you question Barack Obama's birth certificate.
01:07:22.000 So, all right, fine, I'm a racist.
01:07:23.000 Bennett's point was to stop hiding from that word and don't let them use it as a weapon against you and just go, throw up your hands and go, yeah, yeah, you got me.
01:07:31.000 Ooh, you got me.
01:07:33.000 That's his point.
01:07:34.000 Stop living in fear of that word because it's thrown at everyone.
01:07:37.000 And when everyone is racist, no one is racist.
01:07:41.000 That's what the caller should have said to this dickweed.
01:07:44.000 The fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the Capitol is racist.
01:07:48.000 I didn't.
01:07:48.000 I said they were white nationalists.
01:07:50.000 What?
01:07:52.000 What's the difference now?
01:07:54.000 And look at his face.
01:07:56.000 Oh, I didn't.
01:07:56.000 I said there was white nationalist.
01:07:58.000 Yeah, you haven't got me there.
01:08:00.000 What?
01:08:01.000 Whatever.
01:08:01.000 White nationalists, white supremacists, racist.
01:08:04.000 You know they're all meant as the same thing.
01:08:06.000 Go back, look at his fucking face.
01:08:09.000 Well, that's his cry, I mean, if that's what he's saying.
01:08:12.000 But the fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the capital is racist.
01:08:16.000 I didn't.
01:08:16.000 I said they were white nationalist.
01:08:23.000 Well, that's his cry, I mean, if that's what he's saying.
01:08:26.000 But the fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the capital is racist.
01:08:30.000 I didn't.
01:08:30.000 I said they were white nationalists.
01:08:34.000 It's a really irritating, like, intellectual thing.
01:08:37.000 What are you doing here?
01:08:39.000 Is this your second brain?
01:08:40.000 You're like that dinosaur with the brain in his ass?
01:08:43.000 You're also portraying that.
01:08:45.000 So let's go back to the lies.
01:08:46.000 Let's go back to the lies that the mainstream media in America has told about Donald Trump.
01:08:53.000 Well, I've just told you the fact that he's racist.
01:08:56.000 But we've just proved that he is.
01:08:58.000 You have not.
01:08:59.000 See, that's what pisses me off.
01:09:01.000 You draw this line in the sand, and then you say, this is a real boundary.
01:09:04.000 This is a real perimeter.
01:09:06.000 We've established that.
01:09:07.000 You haven't established shit.
01:09:09.000 And all they do is lie about Trump.
01:09:11.000 They say he incites violence.
01:09:13.000 They say that he said all Mexicans are rapists.
01:09:15.000 They said that he called Nazis very fine people.
01:09:18.000 These are all lies.
01:09:23.000 But because he's questioned someone's birth certificate, that makes him rape.
01:09:26.000 No, because he questioned a black man's birth certificate.
01:09:29.000 Shouldn't you be embarrassed?
01:09:31.000 As Sebastian Maniscalco says, aren't you embarrassed?
01:09:36.000 Like, aren't you embarrassed?
01:09:38.000 No, if you criticize a black man, that's racism.
01:09:40.000 Really?
01:09:42.000 Okay, then I'm going to be a racist and I'm going to wear it as a badge of honor because I'm going to criticize someone or question someone no matter what race they are.
01:09:50.000 You fucking dick.
01:09:53.000 Isn't that racist?
01:09:54.000 To give blacks a special place where you cannot criticize them?
01:10:00.000 Untrue.
01:10:01.000 So that would be called a racist lie, which is encouraged to make people who are uncomfortable with Barack Obama's skin color believe something that's not...
01:10:10.000 So if you criticize him, that would be a racist lie.
01:10:13.000 I love how he's just saying this like it's a fact.
01:10:15.000 You can see how he got his job.
01:10:16.000 He just talks to everyone like they're retarded and they go, well, you must know what you're doing.
01:10:20.000 Here, here's a show.
01:10:22.000 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
01:10:23.000 You're on the air.
01:10:24.000 We believe you.
01:10:26.000 True.
01:10:27.000 You know what you're saying.
01:10:28.000 It's a racist lie.
01:10:30.000 And then he goes on to say, because people are scared of Barack, we'll cling to that.
01:10:34.000 Yeah, that's not my problem.
01:10:36.000 Two and two is four.
01:10:38.000 If that makes racists happy, I don't give a fuck.
01:10:41.000 It's just a fact.
01:10:42.000 And we're not even talking about a fact.
01:10:44.000 He questioned it.
01:10:45.000 And wait a minute.
01:10:46.000 Didn't Donald Trump end the whole controversy of birtherism because he offered like a hundred grand for anyone who can prove it?
01:10:54.000 That ends the whole controversy right there.
01:10:56.000 You could argue he's anti-birther because he's put a stop to it by offering that gigantic reward about him because it then undermines the legitimacy of his presidency.
01:11:07.000 So briefly, because I mean, it's not going great, but I'd like you to stick around for a little bit longer.
01:11:13.000 What is it you liked about him, Stephen?
01:11:16.000 I think that he came out and spoke a lot of the truth on stuff.
01:11:18.000 Yeah, what stuff?
01:11:20.000 And then the guy just goes, this is relentless quizzing.
01:11:26.000 I'm being interrogated.
01:11:28.000 I'm not having a conversation.
01:11:30.000 I've had enough of this.
01:11:30.000 And you know what this guy is going to do?
01:11:32.000 He's going to avoid the middle class from now on.
01:11:35.000 And maybe he should.
01:11:42.000 Stephen's hung up.
01:11:44.000 Yeah, because you're a prick.
01:11:58.000 Whatever happened to her?
01:12:02.000 Stephen has hung up the phone.
01:12:05.000 Stephen's stupid.
01:12:06.000 Stephen's human garbage.
01:12:08.000 And he's hung up the phone.
01:12:09.000 Stephen's gay.
01:12:11.000 I wiped him out.
01:12:13.000 And I proved to him that Trump is racist because he criticized someone who was black.
01:12:23.000 Speaking of criticizing someone who was black, I thought this was interesting.
01:12:26.000 We have gone so far down the rabbit hole.
01:12:29.000 The pendulum has swung so far into anti-whiteness from just equality that Martin Luther King is a bad guy now.
01:12:38.000 Martin Luther King, who said, I just want people to be judged by the content of their character.
01:12:42.000 Or when Tucker Carlson said, you know, when I was a kid, you were just your name.
01:12:47.000 You weren't judged by your ethnicity or your background.
01:12:49.000 And I was like, yeah, like when someone was Jewish when I was young, you didn't really know.
01:12:55.000 They just, when they had the yamuka on, you go, oh, you're wearing your hat thing?
01:12:59.000 Oh, you're going, oh, you go to church on Saturdays instead of Sundays?
01:13:02.000 Huh.
01:13:03.000 It didn't, if you, we all wanted to ask some questions.
01:13:05.000 I remember really being like, so what's with the weird candle thing?
01:13:09.000 Oh, it's a celebration of light?
01:13:10.000 Oh, okay.
01:13:12.000 Nothing.
01:13:13.000 No comment.
01:13:14.000 Like, black people, you might go like, so your hair, why is sometimes straightened?
01:13:18.000 Oh, you have it straightened.
01:13:19.000 Oh, and that's called a perm.
01:13:21.000 Oh, weird, because when we curl our hair, we call it a perm.
01:13:25.000 Dropped.
01:13:25.000 And then John Oliver gets all pissed at him and says, how dare you be so racist and not notice race?
01:13:33.000 So now race is everything.
01:13:37.000 And I love black people so much that I hate white people.
01:13:41.000 And now it's inspiring and empowering to just say white people are evil.
01:13:47.000 And if you were to reverse the races, can you imagine if the races were reversed?
01:13:53.000 If you were to read any article and make black into white and white into black, you'd be reading the most racist shit you've ever read in your life.
01:14:04.000 So I wanted to try this with an article that was in the root called Whiteness is a pandemic.
01:14:10.000 By the way, what this, so these guys call themselves like the black renaissance messiahs of super geniuses, Damon King, some other dude.
01:14:18.000 They're part of like the blackness is an empire, some stupid name like that.
01:14:23.000 And look at how half-assed this is.
01:14:25.000 Scroll down.
01:14:28.000 Keep going.
01:14:30.000 That's it.
01:14:31.000 Oh.
01:14:34.000 Now, I ran a magazine for many years.
01:14:35.000 This is how you write about, say there was a mitten.
01:14:39.000 I remember actually writing about this.
01:14:40.000 Some guy invented a mitten that had a hole in the middle, and you could put your cigarette in it and smoke like that and keep your mittens on on a cold day.
01:14:48.000 That's about the blurb you do.
01:14:51.000 This is a little bit longer than that.
01:14:52.000 Maybe a new CD is out.
01:14:54.000 Oh, Billy Idol's back.
01:14:56.000 Yeah, that.
01:14:58.000 Or Billy Idol's back with a new album.
01:15:01.000 It's taken him in, this last album was, you know, 13 years ago, and this is a big deal.
01:15:05.000 And we're all, actually, it was more like 20 years ago.
01:15:08.000 But here he is, Billy Idol, blah, blah, blah.
01:15:12.000 So this is him writing about an entire race of people that goes back hundreds of thousands of years and how they're all evil.
01:15:20.000 Right?
01:15:21.000 So let's take a random paragraph from that.
01:15:24.000 What does he say?
01:15:26.000 Not many to choose from.
01:15:28.000 Yeah.
01:15:29.000 Okay, go to that paragraph.
01:15:32.000 Move it over.
01:15:32.000 I can't read it.
01:15:34.000 It's behind the broken part of the screen.
01:15:36.000 There's a line connecting this act of terror, and he's talking about the white supremacists who shut up the Asian spa.
01:15:42.000 Now, I might be in a bubble, but correct me if I'm wrong.
01:15:45.000 I don't think that narrative stuck.
01:15:47.000 I think it came out that he was a sex addict.
01:15:50.000 He liked Asian women too much.
01:15:52.000 He was addicted to porn and getting handies.
01:15:54.000 So he went and shot up a bunch of hand job places, which must suck for the families because their mom's face is everywhere.
01:16:03.000 They're like, yeah, my mom was a professional hand jobber.
01:16:08.000 But he shot them because of his addiction.
01:16:10.000 He wanted to take away the temptation.
01:16:13.000 So, but are people really going, is the white supremacist thing, because the cover of the post said sex addict.
01:16:20.000 So the white supremacist thing can't be sticking.
01:16:22.000 But anyway, there's a line connecting this act of terror to the 11 people killed at the Tree of Life Synagogue in 2018 and the nine people killed at the Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in 2015, of course.
01:16:32.000 But also to gentrification, to redlining, to racial profiling.
01:16:35.000 Look at this.
01:16:36.000 He adds a comma after every two, and then he stops doing it.
01:16:41.000 To gerrymandering, to voter oppression, to mass incarceration, to the war on drugs, to the subprime, to the vast disparities in both COVID deaths and who receives COVID vaccinations, to how the men and women who stormed the Capitol just went home and had dinner with their families afterward.
01:16:55.000 While we were still processing and recovering from what we witnessed, they were already back on their couches watching criminal mines.
01:17:02.000 Okay, so I took that article and I just changed black to white.
01:17:06.000 Right?
01:17:06.000 Do you want to hear it?
01:17:07.000 Yeah.
01:17:09.000 This is from...
01:17:10.000 Wait, should I...
01:17:11.000 Yeah, you can hold it up.
01:17:12.000 Overlay something so that way this doesn't get taken out of context.
01:17:16.000 Shit.
01:17:16.000 Well, you should keep it up there.
01:17:18.000 Like, scroll to the top.
01:17:21.000 No, not the very top.
01:17:22.000 The first sentence, right?
01:17:24.000 I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.
01:17:26.000 You shouldn't show tooth 23C or 23D while I read this.
01:17:33.000 Gotcha.
01:17:36.000 I don't have much to add here today that ain't already been said.
01:17:40.000 Blackness is a public health crisis.
01:17:44.000 It shortens life expectancies.
01:17:45.000 It pollutes air.
01:17:46.000 It constricts equilibrium.
01:17:48.000 It devastates neighborhoods.
01:17:50.000 This is Philly right here, for example.
01:17:53.000 It increases debt.
01:17:54.000 It sparks and funds crime.
01:17:56.000 It flattens dialects.
01:17:57.000 It infests consciousness.
01:17:59.000 And it kills People, white people, and people who are not white, my mom included.
01:18:04.000 There will be people who die in 2050 because of black supremacy-induced decisions stuck in 1850.
01:18:11.000 A line can and should be drawn from the actions of the black supremacist who walked into a Nashville church and killed 10 white people.
01:18:19.000 That guy's name, by the way, was Emmanuel something?
01:18:26.000 Emmanuel Sampson.
01:18:28.000 He went to the church explicitly to kill white people.
01:18:32.000 He killed 10.
01:18:33.000 No one ever talks about it.
01:18:34.000 But anyway, to the relentless anti-white rhetoric pollinating national discourse over the past year, the media and the DNC can and should be blamed for this and the sudden increase of racist violence against Asian Americans.
01:18:45.000 The line don't stop there, though.
01:18:47.000 It extends back 400 years and has tentacles clawing everywhere.
01:18:50.000 Blacks exist here in America, which is everywhere.
01:18:53.000 Sorry.
01:18:55.000 Tentacles clawing everywhere.
01:18:56.000 Blacks exist here in America, which is everywhere.
01:19:00.000 See, his writing is so bad that I get caught up trying to read all the weird commas that have been inserted.
01:19:05.000 There is a line connecting this act of terror to the 15 people shot in Chicago and the six people killed at the Jewish deli in 2019, of course, but also to the gentrification paranoia, to redlining, to racial profiling myths, to gerrymandering, to vote oppression, to mass incarceration, to the war on drugs,
01:19:20.000 to the subprime mortgage crisis, lack of fathers, to welfare, to how the men and women who storm the Capitol are facing death sentences.
01:19:29.000 While we were still processing and recovering from what we witnessed, they were already back on their couches, dreading their imminent trials.
01:19:37.000 Black supremacy is a virus that, like other viruses, will not die until there are no bodies left for it to infect.
01:19:43.000 Which means the only way to stop it is to locate it, isolate it, extract it, and kill it.
01:19:49.000 I guess a vaccine would work, but we've had 400 years to develop one, so I ain't holding my breath.
01:19:56.000 Pretty shocking.
01:19:57.000 Damn.
01:19:58.000 That last part is really...
01:20:00.000 It's weird how that's...
01:20:01.000 What's a vaccination for whiteness?
01:20:04.000 I don't know.
01:20:04.000 I guess I'm desensitized to their anti-right racism because with the first time it's red against whites, it doesn't sound that bad.
01:20:14.000 So it works.
01:20:16.000 Well, yeah, I did an article once after Kumia got fired about all these other radio stars.
01:20:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:20:26.000 I did it about Anthony Kumia, but I pretended he was black.
01:20:30.000 And I said, why is he fired?
01:20:32.000 This black radio guy did this.
01:20:34.000 This black radio guy did that.
01:20:35.000 This black radio guy did the other thing.
01:20:36.000 And I listed all these black radio guys doing horrible shit and saying terrible shit about Jews and whites and all kinds of stuff.
01:20:45.000 And then at the very end, I went, oh, wait, I know why.
01:20:50.000 Sorry.
01:20:50.000 I got the races reversed.
01:20:52.000 Kumia's white.
01:20:54.000 And all those other guys are black.
01:20:55.000 Oh, sorry.
01:20:55.000 Fuck.
01:20:56.000 I fucked it up.
01:20:57.000 In the article, I said, why is this poor guy fired, this black guy, when all these white people get away with this?
01:21:03.000 And then I had all these white DJs doing horrible things.
01:21:06.000 But then at the end, I conceded that I had switched the races.
01:21:09.000 And the black guy was Anthony Kumia, and the evil white guys were all black.
01:21:13.000 Yeah, that's what I did.
01:21:15.000 One time I did an article called Tackling Asian Privilege, and I just completely stole a white privilege article and just did a switch find and changed white to Asian.
01:21:27.000 And it worked perfectly.
01:21:28.000 And I got so much shit from the Asian community.
01:21:32.000 We'll get to that in a second here.
01:21:35.000 I like the picture there.
01:21:36.000 We are lucky we're Asian.
01:21:38.000 He got in shit.
01:21:39.000 That was my intern at the time.
01:21:41.000 Asian face guy?
01:21:42.000 Yeah, and he got in shit for posing for this picture.
01:21:44.000 Because he's an Uncle Chong.
01:21:46.000 Yeah, is that what it's called?
01:21:47.000 I like that.
01:21:47.000 I just made it up.
01:21:49.000 I'm sure that somebody said that before.
01:21:51.000 Lucky to be the what?
01:21:53.000 Amnesty.
01:21:55.000 Lucky to be.
01:21:56.000 Ancestry.
01:21:56.000 Minority.
01:21:57.000 Lucky to be the model minority.
01:21:59.000 Educated, privileged, rich.
01:22:04.000 Okay, Miami Vice.
01:22:06.000 I had to cover this today.
01:22:07.000 Miami is.
01:22:12.000 We're officially in the area that's going to be shut down at 8 p.m.
01:22:15.000 So for those of you who live in South Beach, most of Ocean Drive is restaurants, hotels, bars.
01:22:20.000 They make up the bulk of the businesses here.
01:22:22.000 There's also like a CBS.
01:22:23.000 This is Lumas Park.
01:22:25.000 Down the other side of those trees over there is the beach.
01:22:30.000 So far I haven't seen police yet.
01:22:31.000 I saw police tape, but I need to see what's going on.
01:22:33.000 Scroll forward.
01:22:34.000 This is boring.
01:22:35.000 It kind of compresses things.
01:22:40.000 It's all black.
01:22:41.000 It's all chaos.
01:22:42.000 And the mayor's contention is I had to put it in a state of emergency because of COVID.
01:22:48.000 Okay.
01:22:49.000 I agree.
01:22:50.000 I promise you.
01:22:52.000 Yeah.
01:22:52.000 Maybe we need a vaccine.
01:22:54.000 It's been 400 years.
01:22:58.000 I have some downtime right now because there's about 22 minutes till curfew.
01:23:04.000 The curfew, by the way, means nothing.
01:23:07.000 They've just gone out farther into the suburbs to terrorize those areas.
01:23:10.000 What is everybody?
01:23:11.000 Working, fighting, smashing shit.
01:23:14.000 Looks like everybody's getting along so far.
01:23:16.000 With the biggest eyelashes you've ever seen in your life.
01:23:23.000 Oh yeah, they also just throw money in the air.
01:23:30.000 I would not want to be there.
01:23:34.000 Well, the restaurants are staying open.
01:23:36.000 And then they're chasing down...
01:23:38.000 Here, I have footage.
01:23:41.000 The waiters are physically attacking people who don't pay, which the NAACP has said is racist.
01:23:49.000 And they called the crackdown, the legal crackdown, excessive.
01:23:54.000 But look at this.
01:23:55.000 Look at the crowd of twerkers, right?
01:23:57.000 So those are the waiters chasing the guy.
01:24:01.000 They did a good job.
01:24:03.000 Took him to the ground.
01:24:07.000 Look at that.
01:24:08.000 That guy's getting pretty good.
01:24:09.000 He's an athletic.
01:24:10.000 This is a very athletic dining dash.
01:24:13.000 They must be football players.
01:24:21.000 Get his money there.
01:24:23.000 Like, why are they taking...
01:24:24.000 Oh, I guess they want to bring him to the cops.
01:24:26.000 God, the cops must be busy as bees.
01:24:29.000 It's funny, too, because You're like, yeah, I got dope threads on.
01:24:32.000 I'm a baller.
01:24:33.000 I'm a gangster.
01:24:34.000 But I can't afford lunch.
01:24:35.000 I can't pay $8 for eggs.
01:24:40.000 They had to tackle him twice.
01:24:41.000 And look, the twerking just increases exponentially.
01:24:46.000 It does.
01:24:47.000 He's got cheerleaders.
01:24:51.000 Wow.
01:24:52.000 We're different.
01:24:54.000 So this dude, Mr. Commodity, had a, he lives in Miami Beach.
01:24:59.000 I've never heard of him before, but his tweets are the most accurate.
01:25:03.000 The national media will tell you the Miami Beach issued a state of emergency because of COVID.
01:25:09.000 That's not true.
01:25:10.000 That's only half the story.
01:25:11.000 Here are some videos of what's really going on.
01:25:13.000 This happened twice at the same restaurant.
01:25:16.000 And that's just turn up the volume.
01:25:26.000 I mean, why open your restaurant?
01:25:30.000 You got people major brawls.
01:25:33.000 Like, you just lost all your profits right there.
01:25:35.000 All your cutlery.
01:25:36.000 I mean, all your silverware, all your plates, all your glasses.
01:25:41.000 There's two separate fights.
01:25:45.000 There's two separate fights.
01:25:47.000 Can you get me a water?
01:25:48.000 Sure.
01:25:48.000 It's affecting my speech.
01:25:55.000 Sure.
01:25:59.000 I never had a LaCroix because I'm not a woman.
01:26:03.000 Try it out.
01:26:04.000 It's pretty tasty.
01:26:11.000 Very bitter.
01:26:15.000 Alright, let's see another one.
01:26:16.000 This hasn't been a good idea.
01:26:17.000 Wait, wait, wait, his feed.
01:26:18.000 So his feed's got tons of stuff.
01:26:19.000 Keep going on that same thread.
01:26:22.000 Because it just keeps going and going.
01:26:26.000 The energizer battery.
01:26:29.000 Bunny.
01:26:30.000 Wait, is this no volume?
01:26:32.000 I guess not.
01:26:33.000 That's not very interesting.
01:26:34.000 No, it's just the aftermath.
01:26:37.000 Okay, I don't care.
01:26:37.000 Keep going.
01:26:39.000 Well, that's the one we just saw.
01:26:40.000 Keep going.
01:26:43.000 Oh!
01:26:44.000 Oh, Wiltstone!
01:26:49.000 Dear African American ladies, if you are going to go out brawling, wear shoes that have laces on them.
01:26:59.000 And also, wear a bald cap.
01:27:00.000 Wear a bathing cap.
01:27:02.000 Because 90% of the fighting seems to involve hair pulling.
01:27:06.000 Airport.
01:27:07.000 They carry on to the airport.
01:27:08.000 They're fighting at the airport.
01:27:27.000 Oh my God.
01:27:28.000 They got kicked off the plane, and then they got in a fight with people who were mad at them for slowing down the flight.
01:27:34.000 Why did that white cop make that happen?
01:27:37.000 Yeah, what a racist.
01:27:38.000 We need a vaccination against whiteness.
01:27:40.000 He's like doing a man's hair.
01:27:43.000 Oh, no, that's his shirt.
01:27:45.000 Oh, that's a whole pile of cotton candy.
01:27:48.000 It's hard to tell.
01:27:49.000 Did you hear him?
01:27:51.000 He's using all of his strength to separate them.
01:27:57.000 You know, when you're lifting something crazy where you're kind of worried that you're going to get a hernia or something?
01:28:02.000 You're like, I got to get this bike tire out from under this steel drum, but I might do some damage to myself.
01:28:09.000 And you go, yeah, it works.
01:28:12.000 I had that at the gym this morning.
01:28:14.000 I was lifting not a lot of money, not a lot of weight, like 45 pounds doing these curls.
01:28:19.000 And towards the end, I was going, ah!
01:28:21.000 And then I thought, do other people do this or should I be embarrassed right now?
01:28:25.000 It helps.
01:28:25.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
01:28:26.000 Do you scream at the gym?
01:28:28.000 No, rarely, but the less, sometimes you go, you go.
01:28:33.000 No.
01:28:34.000 No, I go.
01:28:35.000 I go, ah!
01:28:39.000 I see people laughing their fucking head back.
01:28:41.000 That's good theatrics.
01:28:42.000 I don't think I've gotten there, though.
01:28:44.000 Dude, it makes a huge difference.
01:28:45.000 Scream like a bitch.
01:28:46.000 You know, when you're doing the body bags and guys are punching you and you have that thing on, I'll go, yeah, with every punch.
01:28:53.000 And the other guy's often crying laughing.
01:28:56.000 And then when I hit him, he's like, he was fucking dead the next day.
01:29:03.000 Destroyed.
01:29:03.000 Not cracked ribs, but just beaten up.
01:29:05.000 I was 100 bucks.
01:29:08.000 You make yourself into a whoopee kushi.
01:29:10.000 Yes.
01:29:10.000 And then when they hit you, it goes, boo.
01:29:13.000 So you're not getting hit.
01:29:14.000 You build up this force and they go, yeah.
01:29:18.000 So A, it makes them laugh and that makes them less strong.
01:29:20.000 And B, I put this in the boxing instructional video.
01:29:23.000 You get your yeahs out.
01:29:27.000 Another night, restaurant completely trashed.
01:29:29.000 This man decides to use a woman's head as a basketball.
01:29:31.000 Oh, sorry.
01:29:32.000 But at this point, I'm just, I don't get the restaurants.
01:29:36.000 Well, most of our money is spring break.
01:29:38.000 All right.
01:29:38.000 Is this a dog whistle?
01:29:40.000 This had zero to do with COVID lockdowns and 100% to do with this type of nightly and all caps behavior.
01:29:46.000 No.
01:29:47.000 No, detective shitty.
01:29:48.000 Well, we should.
01:29:49.000 Can we co-opt that?
01:29:50.000 This is very nightly behavior.
01:29:53.000 But it's in broad daylight.
01:29:54.000 Yeah, well.
01:30:03.000 By the way.
01:30:04.000 What's that?
01:30:06.000 They just beat the shit out of women all the time over there.
01:30:09.000 In nightly land.
01:30:13.000 You're not going to get him to stop.
01:30:14.000 He said nightly because he wants to emphasize that this is going on every single fucking night.
01:30:21.000 Is that a white girl?
01:30:22.000 No, it's a light skin.
01:30:23.000 In comparison, you're like, yeah, that's...
01:30:25.000 Look, and then he gets in with some big, serious punches.
01:30:29.000 Boy, he loves Metallica.
01:30:32.000 To quote Metallica, you think you're so tough.
01:30:35.000 Why don't you fight me?
01:30:39.000 Maybe, is it possible that black men are okay with hitting women because their moms, like the dad isn't around, so the mom's like, can you whip your sister's ass for me?
01:30:48.000 Because she's not the disciplinarian?
01:30:50.000 I'm going to get your brother whip your ass.
01:30:51.000 Maybe they're fighting their sisters all the time at home, and there's no dad to say.
01:30:55.000 Viral videos of spring breaker show racist policing in South Beach.
01:31:00.000 I mean, the jails must be fucking full.
01:31:02.000 We've seen.
01:31:03.000 How many crimes have we seen in the past 30 seconds?
01:31:06.000 Keep going.
01:31:07.000 Any more videos?
01:31:09.000 What's 4-0?
01:31:11.000 Have we already done that one?
01:31:14.000 I mean, we could go on for days.
01:31:16.000 Does this do anything?
01:31:17.000 Does this do anything?
01:31:19.000 I hate seeing this, by the way.
01:31:21.000 That your car's fucked now.
01:31:25.000 It's not easy just to pop out those dents.
01:31:27.000 It's not anybody else's car that matters.
01:31:30.000 That could be, I don't know, 10 grand.
01:31:33.000 That's worth more than the car.
01:31:35.000 Your car's fucked now.
01:31:36.000 You might be able to get those little, like, you know, plungers to pop them out, but I doubt it.
01:31:41.000 The Ding Kings?
01:31:42.000 Yeah.
01:31:44.000 You better go to fucking Ding Castle.
01:31:54.000 Shortly followed by exhausted police.
01:31:57.000 What's...
01:31:58.000 Oh, yeah, 4-2, they had the SWAT team coming in.
01:32:03.000 And I thought this was funny.
01:32:05.000 SWAT teams move into Clear Spring Breakers after Miami.
01:32:08.000 Here's the thing I was thinking when I looked at that.
01:32:10.000 What would you do, Detective Shitty, if you're the mayor of Miami Beach?
01:32:16.000 There's no nuclear option available, so, oh, I don't know.
01:32:20.000 Oh, like toxic gas.
01:32:22.000 Okay, well, that's enough of you.
01:32:26.000 And to answer the question seriously, I would have all the business.
01:32:29.000 I assume the businesses would just board themselves up naturally.
01:32:32.000 I mean, you don't make any profit when your shit is totaled every night.
01:32:36.000 So I would ask the president for the National Guard.
01:32:42.000 Maybe I would stay open if I could have armed guards at every door.
01:32:46.000 And then the restaurants, I would say, just take your money first.
01:32:49.000 So you go to the, the waitress goes up to the person, I'll take the eggs, blah, blah, blah.
01:32:52.000 And then the waitress says, that'll be $8.41, please.
01:32:56.000 And then you take the money, then you bring the food.
01:33:00.000 But yeah, this is a...
01:33:02.000 You take their ID.
01:33:03.000 You've got to turn this into a police state.
01:33:04.000 And then the NAACP will say that's excessive.
01:33:06.000 And you go, okay.
01:33:08.000 But you need 1,000 cops in military there.
01:33:15.000 Yeah, but that's not even going to.
01:33:18.000 Anyway, I remember this.
01:33:19.000 I was on Hannity many years ago, and he was bitching about spring break in Panama City.
01:33:25.000 And everyone was laughing at him.
01:33:27.000 And Jon Stewart was saying, aha ha, Hannity's such a pussy that he can't handle kids partying.
01:33:33.000 And I was on his show quite a bit, and I said, I did a very controversial thing where I said, if my sons want to go to spring break when they're older, I'm not nuts about it, but all right.
01:33:44.000 If my daughter wants to go there, no fucking way.
01:33:48.000 I will lock her in a cell.
01:33:51.000 And that was considered totally sexist, even though every parent agreed with me 100%.
01:33:56.000 And then Sank Uger said, if we listened to McInnes' plan, then spring break would be a sausage fest.
01:34:03.000 It'd just be dudes.
01:34:05.000 And that's such a communist way of thinking, where all of a sudden I'm Mao, and when I make a rule about my family, that applies to everyone in the world.
01:34:13.000 He was accidentally sexist there, too.
01:34:16.000 Why?
01:34:18.000 There should be some pussy there.
01:34:20.000 Basically, is what he said.
01:34:23.000 Okay.
01:34:26.000 So, yes, that's what he said.
01:34:28.000 That's not sexist.
01:34:29.000 He was saying young people should fornicate.
01:34:30.000 But what he doesn't understand, what Jon Stewart didn't understand, is Panama City had Lil Wayne come and do a show one year, and that opened up the Knightly contingent.
01:34:42.000 And ever since then, there have been major troubles.
01:34:45.000 And I talked to a cop in Panama City, and he said, one of the problems here is that the girls are getting raped and they don't mind.
01:34:55.000 And I said, pardon es moi?
01:34:57.000 And he goes, they take Xanax and they're on the beach or they take these opioids.
01:35:03.000 They pass out on the beach or they're half conscious.
01:35:06.000 These black guys are lining up in a line of 20, surrounded by people who are watching this girl, have a train run on her.
01:35:14.000 And he goes, we show up there, you know, late.
01:35:17.000 They've already had five of the guys.
01:35:19.000 Everyone disperses.
01:35:21.000 We talk to people.
01:35:22.000 We have witnesses.
01:35:23.000 We say, we can arrest these guys.
01:35:25.000 We know we can track down the five guys who just raped you as you lay there going, semi-conscious.
01:35:33.000 Strangers are just banging them.
01:35:34.000 And then they go, nah, don't worry about it.
01:35:37.000 I don't want to.
01:35:38.000 And women are, in fact, demented.
01:35:42.000 So he couldn't pursue rape charges on rapists.
01:35:46.000 And then shortly after Jon Stewart mocked Hannity for bitching about Panama City because he's so uptight and he can't handle when young people party, there was a mass shooting at a party and three kids were killed.
01:35:59.000 And then all the rape started coming to, I was going to say fruition, all the rape started coming to the forefront and then they realized how bad it was.
01:36:06.000 And of course, you know, in a perfect world, Jon Stewart would go, holy shit, Hannity was right.
01:36:11.000 I thought he was just being a prude.
01:36:13.000 Meanwhile, Hannity knew this because he had reporters go down there.
01:36:18.000 Something Comedy Central was not doing.
01:36:20.000 He had reporters go down there and they saw the fucking gun violence and the drugs and the rioting.
01:36:26.000 It's not just Dinondash and someone smooching on the beach.
01:36:29.000 It's gang rape.
01:36:33.000 What are you looking up?
01:36:35.000 Springbreak rape.
01:36:37.000 Anyway, 4-3 was just, that was just reminding me of.
01:36:41.000 And Hennedy didn't have enough balls to really roast Jon Stewart on that.
01:36:46.000 Stewart demolishes Sean Hennedy's insane spring break coverage.
01:36:50.000 Aha ha, what a loser.
01:36:52.000 Who wrote that?
01:36:52.000 I bet they don't have a job anymore.
01:36:54.000 Jack Merkinson.
01:36:56.000 Well, that's a fake name, but look him up.
01:36:59.000 I bet he is no longer a writer.
01:37:01.000 A lot of these people who write for these shit posting blogs, like Gawker and Daily Beast and HuffPo, they don't realize that they will not have any other job ever.
01:37:15.000 Yes.
01:37:15.000 Senior media editor.
01:37:18.000 Haven't seen you in a while there, buddy.
01:37:20.000 What do we got?
01:37:21.000 2014?
01:37:22.000 Look him up, though, news.
01:37:24.000 Put his name in quotes and then click news.
01:37:26.000 That's how you do your job.
01:37:33.000 What's he got there?
01:37:34.000 Forbes, Joy Behar.
01:37:36.000 He's writing with Joy Behar for Forbes?
01:37:39.000 This is all that popped up in news.
01:37:41.000 Yeah, four years ago.
01:37:43.000 Apparently, she was supposed to be leaving the view.
01:37:47.000 So he was writing about.
01:37:48.000 He still had a job four years ago.
01:37:50.000 That's 2016.
01:37:51.000 A couple months ago?
01:37:53.000 No, this is March.
01:37:55.000 Peterson.
01:37:56.000 That's not him writing it, though.
01:37:57.000 So what does he write?
01:37:58.000 Discourse blog.
01:38:00.000 I work at Discourse Blog.
01:38:05.000 Really?
01:38:07.000 What's that?
01:38:08.000 Your own blog?
01:38:09.000 Look at that.
01:38:11.000 Guys, when you write for these bitchy, snarky little sites like HuffPo, you're going to get fired.
01:38:16.000 There's mass layoffs there every day.
01:38:18.000 I think they shut down their entire Canadian division.
01:38:21.000 And then no one's going to want to go near you because you're not a journalist.
01:38:25.000 You're a snitch.
01:38:26.000 And that's not funny.
01:38:27.000 And you're terrible at your job because you come from a place that has no standards whatsoever.
01:38:32.000 If they laugh at Hannity without looking up, are girls really being raped?
01:38:36.000 They're not a real news source.
01:38:38.000 And these girls are being raped.
01:38:40.000 They need the help of the readers.
01:38:42.000 Oh, really?
01:38:42.000 Please, I beg of you.
01:38:43.000 Tell me who your state equivalents of Chiproy, Ted Cruz, and Art Esavito are.
01:38:47.000 That's how he writes now.
01:38:49.000 He just begs for free research.
01:38:50.000 Help.
01:38:51.000 Okay, let's do a little thing, a little update on.
01:38:53.000 Wait, look, can you fill out this Google form?
01:38:57.000 Ugh.
01:38:58.000 I'm sorry.
01:39:00.000 And how many followers does he have?
01:39:02.000 It was 14,000 on the Discourse thing.
01:39:05.000 His actual personal has 8,000.
01:39:09.000 So me and him have the same amount of followers.
01:39:11.000 Okay, that's what I mean.
01:39:11.000 He's shitty and useless and irrelevant.
01:39:16.000 Yes.
01:39:17.000 Did you see a super racist video that's going around that looks exactly like you?
01:39:22.000 No.
01:39:23.000 Milo sent it to me.
01:39:24.000 Oh, yeah, it's Markiplier.
01:39:26.000 It's who?
01:39:27.000 He's an internet man.
01:39:29.000 An internet man?
01:39:31.000 Yes, he's a man of the internet.
01:39:33.000 Well, Milo sent it to me and he goes, can you stop, tell Ryan to stop doing this?
01:39:38.000 It's really fucking racist.
01:39:39.000 Yeah, I told him that.
01:39:40.000 I told him that was from a long time ago, and then I've gotten way worse since.
01:39:45.000 So he's still on YouTube and he hates race mixers?
01:39:48.000 No, that had to have been just a blank green screen.
01:39:51.000 Oh.
01:39:52.000 Yeah.
01:39:53.000 Markiplier.
01:39:56.000 Yeah.
01:39:57.000 This LaCroix is kind of growing on me.
01:39:59.000 It's not bad.
01:40:01.000 Yeah, no, he's not a racist.
01:40:02.000 He's just a fight.
01:40:03.000 He's a YouTuber.
01:40:04.000 Oh, he's a gamer guy.
01:40:05.000 Boring.
01:40:06.000 That's right.
01:40:07.000 Let's do some update on some black on Asian violence while we're discussing racism.
01:40:16.000 Oh, yeah.
01:40:16.000 So this is an idea I had.
01:40:18.000 There's a group that is...
01:40:21.000 I don't think this is as simple as just Asian violence.
01:40:24.000 I think what's really happening here is we have a mental crisis going on in the country, and it includes you and me, and even Detective Shitty, although he's pretty good at doing nothing all day.
01:40:36.000 So he's probably the least mentally affected by the pandemic.
01:40:40.000 But the rest of us have rage issues.
01:40:44.000 Someone smashed some glass right away.
01:40:48.000 And we're mad.
01:40:49.000 And now I get to go to the boxing gym every day and hit a heavy bag for not a normal number of times.
01:40:55.000 Like I was thinking, we used to do nine rounds on a bag day, right?
01:40:58.000 At least.
01:40:59.000 That's three minutes of going bonk, bonk, bonk.
01:41:01.000 How many punches is that?
01:41:04.000 Three, six, so nine, 27 minutes.
01:41:06.000 It's 30 minutes of punching this much.
01:41:10.000 That's a lot.
01:41:12.000 Anyway, other people don't have that release and they're going crazy.
01:41:15.000 So why are you seeing black on Asian crime?
01:41:17.000 Well, in the violent crime stats, blacks are disproportionately represented.
01:41:22.000 Why is that?
01:41:23.000 There's a million reasons, right?
01:41:26.000 I blame fatherlessness, idle hands, welfare, a million things.
01:41:32.000 But conversely, in the victim department, they tend to be disproportionately Asian, especially elderly, maybe because they're the easiest prey.
01:41:45.000 So we have predators and prey here.
01:41:48.000 And what we're seeing is an increase in national rage.
01:41:52.000 So you're going to get more black on Asian crime.
01:41:55.000 It's not really that premeditated.
01:41:58.000 It's not like a black guy wakes up that morning and goes, I'm going to go punch an Asian old lady.
01:42:01.000 I think we have an increase in violent attacks.
01:42:04.000 And then within the world of violent attacks, they are the predators tend to be disproportionately black males and the prey tend to be disproportionately geriatric Asian females.
01:42:15.000 You know what I mean?
01:42:16.000 So say we were living in a very horny time.
01:42:19.000 I'm sure the people who use prostitutes are disproportionately ugly fat white guys.
01:42:25.000 And I'm sure the women in prostitution are disproportionately black and Latina.
01:42:29.000 So you'd say, oh, there's a huge fat white guys fucking blacks and Hispanics craze going on.
01:42:36.000 And you try to get into the politics of that.
01:42:38.000 And maybe it's linked to the Dominican Republic and the Spanish-American War and all this.
01:42:42.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:42:44.000 It's rage that's increasing in this country.
01:42:47.000 The black on Asian thing is just a natural statistical inevitability when there's more violence and more attacks.
01:42:58.000 But the narrative has to be white supremacy, so everyone is pushing this, God, I wish it was whites.
01:43:04.000 That's why they were so happy, and I'm not exaggerating when I say, happy about the spa shooter.
01:43:09.000 And that's why they were so frustrated, especially Andy Campbell at the Huffington Post.
01:43:13.000 That's why they were so frustrated when it ended up being about sex.
01:43:18.000 Fuck.
01:43:19.000 Now it's criticizing sex work.
01:43:21.000 That's part of my team's shit.
01:43:28.000 So yeah, that first article on the Globe and Mail, which is hard to get to because Canadians aren't good at business and they expect you to pay money.
01:43:34.000 But it's causing breakdowns.
01:43:35.000 Ignoring the problem and blaming the pandemic is no longer an option.
01:43:40.000 That's what's really going on here.
01:43:42.000 And I'm not trying to empathize with the person doing the violence.
01:43:46.000 I'm just saying that there's a pressure cooker happening.
01:43:50.000 And, you know, the CDC started telling us that there's a, what was it?
01:43:55.000 Like it was a 34% chance or 3 to 5%.
01:43:58.000 Yeah, 3% to 5% chance of dying when you get COVID.
01:44:03.000 And now we discover later, same CDC tells us, oh, it's not 3% to 5%, sorry, it's 0.02%.
01:44:12.000 Oh, really?
01:44:12.000 Well, you just destroyed the Western world.
01:44:14.000 It's a big difference.
01:44:16.000 With your typo.
01:44:17.000 Or as Tucker pointed out, the six feet apart comes from some weird German scientist in like 1700 who had a shitty experiment where he went at six feet.
01:44:27.000 And then they checked his numbers and redid his data and redid his experiment.
01:44:31.000 And they discovered that there's zero difference between six feet and three feet as far as transmission goes.
01:44:36.000 Yet everywhere you go, go to the post office, there's the stickers that are six feet apart.
01:44:44.000 I saw this story, and it was actually in today's post.
01:44:49.000 Look at this.
01:44:50.000 So, witness, this is on the side here.
01:44:54.000 Subway assault was bias.
01:44:56.000 Victim, Narayanga Bodhi, sits bloody on one.
01:45:00.000 And he said, you fucking you motherfucking Asian.
01:45:03.000 And he punched him.
01:45:04.000 So what did this guy look like?
01:45:07.000 Well, the suspect, identified by cops as 36-year-old Mark Mathieu of the Bronx, was arrested on Sunday.
01:45:15.000 And they said he was a fedora-wearing man.
01:45:19.000 Okay, I'll be on the lookout for people in fedoras.
01:45:22.000 Thanks, media.
01:45:23.000 Thanks, news.
01:45:25.000 Now, luckily, the New York Post's online version is a little braver, and they show us what's underneath the fedora.
01:45:32.000 And what do we see?
01:45:33.000 4-6?
01:45:35.000 We see a pattern.
01:45:37.000 What a fucking ridiculous clown outfit.
01:45:40.000 You know what's weird is I didn't picture a black man when they said fedora.
01:45:44.000 It's weird.
01:45:44.000 Hmm.
01:45:45.000 How convenient.
01:45:46.000 Huh.
01:45:47.000 Maybe it was a white supremacist in a fedora.
01:45:50.000 Maybe he was dressed like Dick Tracy, and he had a fedora and a three-piece suit on and a trench coat with a briefcase.
01:45:56.000 Actually, I said, what a fucking idiotic look that is.
01:45:59.000 And then I realized that's something I could totally see you wearing.
01:46:02.000 Not with the fedora.
01:46:04.000 You do have that big, stupid cowboy hoodie jacket.
01:46:06.000 I don't do the whole hoodie leather jacket thing, but it's a look.
01:46:09.000 You have a pink sweatshirt, I believe.
01:46:12.000 With a hood.
01:46:13.000 Maybe.
01:46:14.000 Not that I. And then you have powder blue jeans, although I guess those are sweatpants.
01:46:20.000 I could pull it.
01:46:21.000 Has he got on a do-rag underneath his fedora?
01:46:25.000 It looks like it.
01:46:28.000 At least he's got white hair.
01:46:31.000 Yeah, this was interesting, though.
01:46:32.000 So I started this by saying, don't try to look to logic.
01:46:36.000 Well, here's something that would help my argument.
01:46:38.000 If black on Hasidic attacks are up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, then I'm right.
01:46:44.000 And you're overthinking this, and it's just predator prey.
01:46:48.000 And everyone who's easy prey is getting attacked more than usual these days.
01:46:51.000 But this guy, this guy had a bunch of data to back up.
01:46:56.000 So this is the exception to the rule.
01:46:58.000 This is not the pattern.
01:46:59.000 But this guy's mad about how China treats their Uyghurs.
01:47:37.000 This fucking idiot doesn't get that religion is illegal in China.
01:47:42.000 Chinese are not Buddhists in China.
01:47:45.000 Maybe in Taiwan, but you're punished for practicing any religion in China, including Muslim.
01:47:51.000 That's why.
01:47:51.000 And is there a group that has less in common with American blacks than Chinese Muslims?
01:47:56.000 Why don't you go hang out with some Uyghurs for an afternoon and see where your Venn diagram is?
01:48:01.000 It doesn't exist.
01:48:02.000 There's a circle here and a circle there.
01:48:04.000 It's the same Venn diagram as a Mickey Mouse hat.
01:48:07.000 You're not even close.
01:48:09.000 But the other annoying thing about that guy's argument is, yeah, China does suck.
01:48:13.000 They do have concentration camps.
01:48:15.000 Every Chinese American knows that China sucks.
01:48:18.000 That's why they're here.
01:48:20.000 So if you fucking hate China and you see a Chinese person in America, you give them the thumbs up and you go, congratulations.
01:48:27.000 You got out of that communist shithole.
01:48:30.000 We should high five.
01:48:32.000 That should be your...
01:48:32.000 What just happened there?
01:48:35.000 It was a glitch.
01:48:36.000 Oh, cool for a second.
01:48:38.000 This one is much less rational and more typical here.
01:48:42.000 He's just yelling at this guy, telling the Asian man, who's about 5'2 ⁇ , that he is a small dick, and the black man is a larger dick than him.
01:48:51.000 Which I've been thinking about this recently.
01:48:53.000 As someone who has a dick that is so big that when I go to the zoo, I see BOA constrictors eyeing my crotch.
01:49:02.000 When I go to the zoo on pants, people hide their peanuts.
01:49:06.000 My dick is so big that when I go for a piss at the airport, people start lining up next to it with their bags trying to get in.
01:49:15.000 If I wrote Boeing on the side, I could just leave it at an airplane hangar and you wouldn't be able to tell which one isn't a plane.
01:49:25.000 My dick is so big that guys who work on submarines will come up and start standing on it trying to find the top.
01:49:32.000 I've seen it.
01:49:33.000 I've seen that happen.
01:49:35.000 And it's been a hindrance.
01:49:37.000 I mean, anal is pretty much out of the question.
01:49:40.000 I used to date this girl who would put her hands on her ass like that so I couldn't go all the way in.
01:49:47.000 And it's not a thing women crave.
01:49:49.000 They like normal-sized dicks.
01:49:52.000 Smaller than mine.
01:49:53.000 Mine's so big, I just consider women disposable.
01:49:56.000 It's like a one-time thing.
01:49:57.000 My dick is so big that I don't wear a condom.
01:50:00.000 The woman I'm fucking is a condom.
01:50:04.000 My dick is so big that when I come in a girl, I get it all over my face.
01:50:08.000 How?
01:50:08.000 What does that work?
01:50:09.000 Comes out her mouth.
01:50:10.000 Oh, I see.
01:50:15.000 But you know who does like Bigcocks, I will admit, is porn stars on mess.
01:50:18.000 Probably feels better for them.
01:50:20.000 So you're trying to appease a porn star on mess.
01:50:23.000 Wow, I had this whole LaCroix.
01:50:26.000 I had this whole LaCare.
01:50:48.000 Did you catch that?
01:50:48.000 Where he's like, Omari, whatever the fuck his name was.
01:50:50.000 Yeah, he forgot his name.
01:50:52.000 You must be really worried about it.
01:50:53.000 Say his name.
01:50:54.000 I would, but remember her name.
01:50:56.000 Don't they really say that?
01:50:57.000 Do you remember this name?
01:50:58.000 Don't forget.
01:50:59.000 Never forget.
01:51:00.000 Say her name.
01:51:01.000 I would, but I do not remember it.
01:51:09.000 Hit the fake laugh.
01:51:11.000 Someone wants to kill you.
01:51:20.000 You got the smallest dick on the floor.
01:51:21.000 We got the biggest dick.
01:51:23.000 You got the smallest dick on the floor.
01:51:30.000 I think Indians actually beat Asians in small dicks.
01:51:37.000 Take your hair up.
01:51:38.000 Take your hair up.
01:51:39.000 You got the boss bottle.
01:51:44.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:51:44.000 Nigga, try to be smooth.
01:51:45.000 Nigga, just watch it.
01:51:48.000 I'm going to beat the shit out you too, Chinese man.
01:51:56.000 George Floyd is up there.
01:51:57.000 Do you see that?
01:51:59.000 Look at that building behind the loud laugh factory.
01:52:01.000 Black Lives Matter on the banner.
01:52:03.000 And then on the top, George Floyd.
01:52:05.000 Yada yada.
01:52:06.000 Wait, that's the laugh factory?
01:52:07.000 Yeah.
01:52:08.000 Oh, I know that place.
01:52:10.000 That's right in Hollywood Boulevard.
01:52:12.000 Boulevard.
01:52:12.000 Right.
01:52:13.000 It's a close up.
01:52:15.000 Don't give me some shirt for our rice, nigga.
01:52:17.000 Don't make my shirt for our rice, nigga.
01:52:19.000 You see, this is more like...
01:52:22.000 There's no rhyme or reason to this.
01:52:24.000 Stop trying to...
01:52:25.000 First of all, you look like a fucking moron trying to make it about white supremacy, but it's not even about black supremacy.
01:52:30.000 It's just about I'm mad, America's mad, and I happen to be a violent criminal, and that guy happens to be what's perceived as easy prey.
01:52:43.000 Which is self-control.
01:52:45.000 Proving my argument, too, is the way he's talking to the police, telling them he'll kick their fucking ass.
01:52:50.000 Everyone's mad.
01:52:52.000 And the demographic that tends to express their anger more, you're going to see more anger within that demographic.
01:52:59.000 Disproportionately, I'm not saying all.
01:53:02.000 Just saying I noticed a pattern.
01:53:04.000 Which is self-control and you delayed gratification-ass bitch.
01:53:18.000 You know what I hate about LA?
01:53:19.000 There's no pride in there anything.
01:53:22.000 It's a sunny day out.
01:53:23.000 Why don't you paint that cinder block wall?
01:53:25.000 I get that you regret.
01:53:26.000 Stop.
01:53:27.000 I get that you regret making that open to the public because people were just driving in and hitting those barriers.
01:53:32.000 So you put up a giant wall so people would have to go around.
01:53:36.000 Okay, whatever.
01:53:37.000 But now get some thick industrial paint.
01:53:39.000 It's cheap.
01:53:40.000 And paint it.
01:53:42.000 And get good at it, if you will.
01:53:44.000 You go to like a carpet store in LA and it's a nice store.
01:53:48.000 It's expensive.
01:53:49.000 But the outside has paint peeling everywhere.
01:53:51.000 They don't give a shit about their surroundings.
01:53:54.000 I guess because they don't walk around very much, so they don't really see it for more than a split second.
01:53:59.000 But there's a little pride.
01:54:01.000 Not in people's homes.
01:54:02.000 They do seem to care about those.
01:54:04.000 But in the buildings.
01:54:06.000 Fucking justice, nigga.
01:54:07.000 On my mama, we need justice, nigga.
01:54:09.000 Or we're going to keep on robbing shit, nigga.
01:54:11.000 We ain't stopping shit, nigga.
01:54:12.000 On my mama, we looting everything.
01:54:15.000 On my mama, we need justice.
01:54:17.000 We looting everything because of Breonna Taylor.
01:54:20.000 Okay, if that's true, then whoever is spreading lies about George Floyd and Breonna Taylor is directly responsible for the looting.
01:54:27.000 So the media has sinned.
01:54:29.000 Is that video basically over anyway?
01:54:31.000 Basically.
01:54:32.000 There might have been something right at the end.
01:54:36.000 What's going on with your shitty computer machine?
01:54:38.000 I have an ignorance blocker and an ad blocker as well.
01:54:42.000 Just stopped.
01:54:44.000 Have a good day.
01:54:47.000 I guess that's technically passive-aggressive, right?
01:54:50.000 But that's all they could say?
01:54:58.000 I hate that.
01:54:59.000 He's like, I want to say something, but all I could say is have a good day, so I'm going to say, have a good day.
01:55:03.000 Well, that's also a fuck you.
01:55:04.000 Yeah.
01:55:05.000 You put me in a situation where I can't argue with you.
01:55:07.000 So I'm just going to say have a good day because you changed the rules.
01:55:10.000 If I get filmed coming back at you, we're fucked.
01:55:13.000 But I didn't hear his final diatribe.
01:55:17.000 Oh, my mama, we need justice, nigga.
01:55:26.000 That's a very annoying connection.
01:55:28.000 Puto Chicago.
01:55:30.000 What's Puerto Chicago doing in L.A.?
01:55:32.000 Pure Chicago, baby.
01:55:34.000 All right, I'm out of patience.
01:55:37.000 Don't do the whole Proud Boys thing.
01:55:40.000 But my family's very upset about this.
01:55:46.000 Proud Boys are looking at sedition now.
01:55:49.000 So the running narrative for the left seems to be, oh, the white nationalists who stormed the Capitol get to go home and, as they said in that book, watch criminal minds on their TVs and eat their TV dinners because there's no punishment for them.
01:56:04.000 The crime scale goes from 0 to 42, 0 being jaywalking.
01:56:09.000 42 being worse than rape and murder, it's sedition.
01:56:13.000 It's a capital offense in this country.
01:56:16.000 So how many things do we, what do we kill people for?
01:56:18.000 We kill them for like repeated murders and then a mass murder.
01:56:23.000 Now they never do this, but remember that guy, Taliban John, where they found him fighting against American troops?
01:56:30.000 And he's like, don't kill me.
01:56:32.000 You go, wow, your English is really good.
01:56:34.000 Yeah, I'm from Colorado.
01:56:36.000 John Walker Lind.
01:56:38.000 Is he still in jail?
01:56:42.000 That guy should have been in the electric chair.
01:56:44.000 He joined a jihadist army.
01:56:45.000 Released from prison three years early.
01:56:48.000 Oh.
01:56:48.000 Oh, cool.
01:56:49.000 So how long was his total sentence?
01:56:52.000 After serving 17 years.
01:56:54.000 That was 17 years ago?
01:56:56.000 I have a 20-year sentence.
01:56:57.000 Holy shit, I'm old.
01:57:00.000 Holy shit, that seems like yesterday.
01:57:04.000 I've only known my wife for 21 years.
01:57:09.000 Weird.
01:57:10.000 Anyway.
01:57:12.000 Amy Siskind, our favorite political activist, the Pied Piper of Board Housewives.
01:57:20.000 She seems pretty happy about this.
01:57:22.000 Wait, have you got the right one?
01:57:24.000 5-0?
01:57:31.000 Maybe it's...
01:57:32.000 You got a scroll?
01:57:33.000 Ah, fuck.
01:57:36.000 Okay, so the first tweet, she says, the evidence is trending toward that and probably meets the requirements.
01:57:48.000 Evidence in capital attack, most likely, supports sedition charges.
01:57:52.000 The worst charges in America.
01:57:55.000 17 years that guy got.
01:57:58.000 That's what Ethan Nordine and Joe Biggs are facing.
01:58:00.000 And I just thought it was funny that, not funny, but macabre, disturbing, that Amy was really focused on that.
01:58:07.000 In other words, she wants those men to die.
01:58:12.000 The left didn't care when the Kavanaugh protesters stormed the Capitol.
01:58:16.000 When the Black Panthers took over the Capitol with guns, it was cool.
01:58:20.000 It was badass.
01:58:22.000 But when a couple of frustrated patriots do it, and we don't support it, it was a dumb move.
01:58:27.000 But Amy's quite thrilled that they're facing sedition charges.
01:58:32.000 And anyone who's rational and normal sees that.
01:58:35.000 And I think we all have the same reaction mostly, right?
01:58:38.000 Probably 80% of the...
01:58:40.000 No, I shouldn't say that.
01:58:42.000 80% of non-liberals see that and go, well, that was fucking stupid, but I understand.
01:58:49.000 And then they saw them smiling as they walked out with a podium.
01:58:52.000 Hello.
01:58:53.000 And they saw them sitting at the desk.
01:58:55.000 And they saw them walk in with the buffalo ears and go, hey, you guys, what's going on?
01:58:59.000 And the cop going, can you leave now?
01:59:02.000 I think if you were there, you would have gone.
01:59:04.000 Gone in?
01:59:05.000 Yeah.
01:59:08.000 Instead of your life over.
01:59:10.000 You know, because the other thing I would be filming, right?
01:59:13.000 I wouldn't just go.
01:59:14.000 But we had the idea to go, and then I was like, it doesn't feel right.
01:59:18.000 And then I heard from on this show and then also Noblebeard.
01:59:22.000 He was like, I'm not going to go.
01:59:23.000 It's going to be sketchy.
01:59:24.000 I spoke with him.
01:59:25.000 And I had gotten body armor because it looks cool.
01:59:29.000 A lot of people have it when you go out to a thing.
01:59:30.000 So I got body armor for Christmas.
01:59:35.000 And I was like, yeah, this doesn't feel right if I have to go to the bottom.
01:59:39.000 Well, we knew it was a setup when we heard that the government was giving gun permits.
01:59:44.000 Right, yeah.
01:59:45.000 There were so many weird things about it.
01:59:46.000 So when you hear that, you go, well, obviously the DC government is the most left-wing ever.
01:59:51.000 It's the most left-wing city ever, 2% of the population.
01:59:54.000 So if they're handing out gun permits, they're not going to be giving it to patriots.
01:59:58.000 And now it's like licensed to kill.
02:00:00.000 I thought there was going to be an Antifa shooting or some shit.
02:00:02.000 You'd already seen Proud Boy stabbed a million times and got away with it.
02:00:04.000 So anyway, these guys are royally fucked.
02:00:06.000 So your whole narrative about, oh, when black people riot, they get away with it.
02:00:11.000 When white people attack the capital, they get a high five.
02:00:13.000 It's not looking like a high five anymore.
02:00:15.000 So you're going to have to switch that up.
02:00:18.000 All right, let's hit the mailbag.
02:00:24.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a debt.
02:00:29.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
02:00:35.000 Let me touch it.
02:00:38.000 Zoop, itly doop, itly boop, biddly boop.
02:00:41.000 Yeah, that Catalina Lauf is a Catalina looker.
02:00:45.000 Oh, she's kind of fat and has zits.
02:00:48.000 Go to, put her in Google image, Catalina Lauf.
02:00:53.000 And yeah, a lot of the dead-ons, she's a nine.
02:00:56.000 But then you see some sideways, and you see she's a bit of a porker.
02:00:59.000 Whoa.
02:01:00.000 Which is good, I'm saying.
02:01:02.000 That makes her more appealing now.
02:01:04.000 And then if you look at the new NW Herald one there, she's got some zits.
02:01:12.000 Isn't it funny how you see a girl and you're like, too pretty, no thanks.
02:01:15.000 And then you see her looking fat with zits and you go, I just fell in love.
02:01:23.000 What a fucking smoke show.
02:01:25.000 She just became a bona fide 10 with those zits.
02:01:28.000 That's a strong chin, though.
02:01:30.000 It is.
02:01:31.000 The teeth in the chin are too strong.
02:01:35.000 Bold.
02:01:36.000 Oh my God, she's got huge tits, dude.
02:01:41.000 This is not fair.
02:01:42.000 Who gets her?
02:01:43.000 Probably like a star athlete or a doctor.
02:01:47.000 Right?
02:01:48.000 Maybe like a thin Jewish nerd also.
02:01:51.000 Like, I could see that.
02:01:52.000 Detective shitty strikes again.
02:01:54.000 Well, I've seen couples.
02:01:55.000 Boy, you're good.
02:01:56.000 You get a voluptuous lady and then you get a...
02:01:58.000 Voluptuous.
02:01:58.000 Voluptuous.
02:02:00.000 All right.
02:02:02.000 Then you get like a hi.
02:02:03.000 I'm her boyfriend.
02:02:05.000 David Cross was wronger than you said.
02:02:07.000 Good analysis of America Bad.
02:02:09.000 Everything that David Cross did, but there's one part I wish you looked at further.
02:02:12.000 The video describes GoFundMes that support people's health care needs as a bad thing.
02:02:17.000 But this seems antithetical to the left's supposed aim of helping the poor by helping thy neighbor.
02:02:22.000 They would rather some giant bureaucratic monopoly, the government, take money from someone else than people help themselves.
02:02:29.000 If they are the compassionate, generous ones, then why don't they contribute out of their own pockets rather than the pockets of people richer than them?
02:02:36.000 It's just a different mindset for people on the right who will gladly give money to their local church, their local community members who have fallen in hard times, local families, blah, blah, blah.
02:02:44.000 But these rightists don't want to be forced or even have others be forced to pay for things against their will.
02:02:49.000 They contribute voluntarily, blah, blah, blah.
02:02:51.000 Yeah, that's not what they were saying, though, dude.
02:02:53.000 That David is one of the most generous givers to charity I've ever met in my life.
02:02:59.000 He's saying they shouldn't have to do that.
02:03:02.000 He's not against GoFundMes, but he sees them as his argument is they're the only way to get proper health care is to beg for charity.
02:03:10.000 That doesn't mean you're anti-charity.
02:03:13.000 So once again, person criticizing me is wrong.
02:03:19.000 Daily Puke, what's up, homies?
02:03:21.000 Coming at you from Carp.
02:03:23.000 Here is gay conversion therapy in one super quick clip.
02:03:26.000 Got he's like going to jump on in like one minute.
02:03:29.000 I know.
02:03:29.000 He's almost allowed him to enter.
02:03:34.000 It's weird.
02:03:34.000 I'm going to be smiling because I'm just excited to see him.
02:03:37.000 Some nervous energy.
02:03:38.000 He's a busy man.
02:03:41.000 We were 45 minutes early.
02:03:47.000 Here we go.
02:03:51.000 Hey, hey, hi, hi guys.
02:03:53.000 How you doing?
02:03:54.000 Hi, Nerfald.
02:04:12.000 Please tell me they're gay.
02:04:15.000 Please be gay.
02:04:17.000 Is that the try guys that did the beta testing?
02:04:21.000 They did the testosterone test.
02:04:24.000 Please be gay.
02:04:25.000 Please be gay.
02:04:26.000 Please be gay.
02:04:27.000 Please be gay.
02:04:29.000 Please be gay.
02:04:30.000 Please be gay.
02:04:31.000 Try guys, multi-award-winning American online thing for YouTube.
02:04:34.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:04:35.000 They have the testosterone.
02:04:36.000 They're working for BuzzFeed.
02:04:38.000 Of old men.
02:04:39.000 I don't see any mention of LGBTQ.
02:04:43.000 Holy shit, they're fucking straight.
02:04:47.000 Oh, my God.
02:04:49.000 They have the T levels of a typical 85-year-old.
02:04:52.000 Yeah.
02:04:54.000 Wow.
02:04:57.000 That was one of the most...
02:04:58.000 That's why we started the Proud Boys.
02:04:59.000 And I think the Asian had the highest T, which is not a good sign.
02:05:04.000 Oh, my God.
02:05:07.000 That was fucking...
02:05:08.000 I have to watch that again.
02:05:09.000 I'm sorry.
02:05:11.000 That was so painful.
02:05:14.000 Holy shit.
02:05:15.000 Oh, yeah, Eugene had the highest.
02:05:16.000 He's gay.
02:05:18.000 He's gay?
02:05:18.000 Yeah.
02:05:19.000 It says, because it says Eugene boyfriend.
02:05:22.000 He's the toughest guy on that team, and he sucks dicks.
02:05:25.000 Yeah, like chemically, he is the most masculine man.
02:05:31.000 So that's why I always say I don't like using the word faggot as an insult anymore because most faggots are cool.
02:05:36.000 You're sub-fag.
02:05:38.000 They're literally sub-fag.
02:05:41.000 Gotcha going to jump on in like one.
02:05:43.000 I know.
02:05:44.000 He's almost here.
02:05:45.000 I have the participant window open and I get to the hand.
02:05:48.000 That's why I assumed when we got this letter, I assumed that they were gay.
02:05:56.000 I have the participant.
02:05:58.000 Okay, ready?
02:06:00.000 I'm emitting him right now.
02:06:01.000 Here we go.
02:06:06.000 Hey, hey, hi, guys.
02:06:07.000 How you doing?
02:06:08.000 Hi, Dr. Fouchy.
02:06:12.000 That's like, take my balls away.
02:06:15.000 I have no problem with that.
02:06:16.000 Remember, you saw those couples that had to bow to black people?
02:06:19.000 Black Hebrew Israelites do it all the time.
02:06:22.000 Like, I'm sorry, what's slavery and stuff?
02:06:23.000 And it's just like handing someone your balls, your masculinity, your soul.
02:06:28.000 Take away my personality.
02:06:30.000 Walk all over me.
02:06:31.000 It's like the Waynesworld, not worthy, not worthy thing, but serious.
02:06:35.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 Whoa.
02:06:41.000 Louisiana Priest, two dominatresses.
02:06:45.000 I didn't know that.
02:06:46.000 You had a C when you pluralized, Dominatrix?
02:06:50.000 Charged with vandalism after Alter Threesome.
02:06:54.000 Wow.
02:06:55.000 That must have been pretty awesome.
02:06:58.000 Melissa Chang, so she's a half-breed.
02:07:00.000 And Mindy Dixon, who's a real vixen, were charged with vandalism.
02:07:05.000 Sex toys and stage lights were recovered.
02:07:08.000 Wow, he really went for it.
02:07:10.000 At least they're not young boys.
02:07:13.000 But yeah, don't do that.
02:07:14.000 That's bad.
02:07:17.000 Chris.
02:07:19.000 I just realized that Gob Bluth and Biden's catchphrase is the same.
02:07:23.000 Come on.
02:07:24.000 Especially since he dropped the man at the end.
02:07:26.000 And also the stuttering.
02:07:28.000 Very beginning of the video, Gob says, I'm the president now.
02:07:31.000 105, he stutters.
02:07:33.000 Very beginning.
02:07:34.000 What dad says?
02:07:35.000 I'm the president now.
02:07:36.000 Filling dad's shoes, literally.
02:07:39.000 Except his shoes don't f ⁇ .
02:07:51.000 I party with that guy one day.
02:07:55.000 Hey, need a hand with that?
02:07:57.000 Interesting.
02:07:58.000 We terrorized this blackjack dealer because he was such a dick and we were losing money in Vegas.
02:08:03.000 I said, can I ask you something?
02:08:04.000 How did you get the nickname Mr. Grump?
02:08:09.000 That was the same trip where David Cross asked a black man, Jerry Minor, if he has any sunscreen.
02:08:15.000 And Jerry had to explain that black people don't wear sunblock.
02:08:18.000 He did not know that.
02:08:21.000 Oh, this guy.
02:08:22.000 Yeah.
02:08:25.000 His buddy threatened to blackmail me.
02:08:27.000 I told you that story branded.
02:08:28.000 Where he goes, I'm going to show your white supremacist friends pictures of us hanging out.
02:08:36.000 Is that reverse blackmail?
02:08:37.000 Framewatch.
02:08:38.000 Can I pay you to do that?
02:08:40.000 Yeah, fuck.
02:08:41.000 Sure.
02:08:42.000 Listening to Soph's latest show made me think about the latest trends these days.
02:08:45.000 I keep hearing about parents concerned about their children being pansexual or trans.
02:08:48.000 When asked if they think their child is mentally ill, the answer is usually no.
02:08:52.000 This is because they see it as a trendy phase, in other words, fashion, as you usually say, and they hope it will pass.
02:08:58.000 The parents are scared about possibly overreacting to their kids' trends and causing their kids to get mad.
02:09:04.000 The kids take their anger towards their parents and decide to take it to extreme permanently, aka the fuck your parents mentality.
02:09:11.000 I disagree with these parents.
02:09:13.000 I am a parent, and I wouldn't walk on eggshells to be afraid to tell my kids what I think.
02:09:16.000 If my kids get mad and decide to take their trend to permanent status, then they are mental for fucking up their life permanently.
02:09:22.000 How far can this fashion trend go?
02:09:24.000 If parents are going to be weak, will it hit cult status or serial killer status?
02:09:29.000 Heather from California, not LA.
02:09:33.000 Well, here's the problem, Heather.
02:09:35.000 The state.
02:09:38.000 What about the state getting involved and it's not up to you anymore?
02:09:40.000 So your kid is 10, says, I want hormone blockers.
02:09:44.000 You say no.
02:09:45.000 And they go, I'm a female.
02:09:47.000 I just saw a kid.
02:09:49.000 A man was arrested for not calling his son she or for calling his daughter she.
02:09:57.000 We didn't get to it today, but I think it was in Canada, the father misgendered his child and was arrested for it.
02:10:07.000 Here, I got it here.
02:10:09.000 Okay, there we go.
02:10:10.000 Canadian father arrested this week violating a court order barring him from publicly discussing his child's gender transition.
02:10:17.000 Oh, I see.
02:10:18.000 So it was a contempt of court.
02:10:19.000 It was a court order that he couldn't refer to her as anything, I guess.
02:10:24.000 So he called his daughter she, and they took him away.
02:10:28.000 So you can be as rational as you want, but when the state gets involved, and how many times have we seen them talk about the state deserving to get involved?
02:10:35.000 Like that teacher who said, I gotta face, we gotta face it.
02:10:38.000 Sometimes parents don't know what's best for their kids.
02:10:41.000 Society has to raise kids.
02:10:45.000 Hi, Gavin and Ryan.
02:10:46.000 If you guys are still wondering where to final the QAnon post, the website is QAnon.pub.
02:10:51.000 My sister, aunt, and mom are big QAnon fans.
02:10:53.000 I don't understand it or care that much about it.
02:10:55.000 If I'm being honest, most of it sounds like bullshit.
02:10:57.000 Huge fan.
02:10:58.000 Okay, here's the first time we've seen the website.
02:11:05.000 Almost looks like a bunch of tweets.
02:11:08.000 Number 195.
02:11:11.000 So you click on one of the things, and it goes to like what looks like a...
02:11:16.000 Oh, this is just one of their many links.
02:11:18.000 Welcome to UK Research.
02:11:21.000 See, I'm lazy.
02:11:22.000 This looks like too much to fucking parse through.
02:11:25.000 Nothing can stop what is coming.
02:11:27.000 Nothing.
02:11:28.000 Trust the plan.
02:11:30.000 Shall we play a game?
02:11:32.000 Nothing can stop what is coming.
02:11:34.000 NCSWIC.
02:11:38.000 And then that acronym is the Department of Homeland Security has the same acronym.
02:11:46.000 NC.
02:11:47.000 See, yeah, like, I don't give a fuck about all this.
02:11:53.000 So that's proof that Patton is fucking kids because he ate a comic ping-pong pizza?
02:12:03.000 I'm sorry, I don't have time for that kind of shit.
02:12:08.000 But it's so funny that the left, this is a website that very few people know of, and the left just refers to you, me, Ryan.
02:12:15.000 We're all QAnon white nationalists.
02:12:19.000 This is the first time where I'm seeing this cue here.
02:12:26.000 Too hard for me to read.
02:12:27.000 I feel like when I look at TikTok or something, I'm like, I don't get this.
02:12:31.000 Or that thing you sign me up for that I haven't used once.
02:12:34.000 Club only.
02:12:34.000 Oh, clubhouse, yeah.
02:12:35.000 Clubhouse?
02:12:36.000 I'm not going to sit and talk to fucking strangers who are going to call me racist.
02:12:42.000 Richard Taverner.
02:12:46.000 Admittedly, this is Ancient Chinese Secret, but just in case, thought this would be of interest to you.
02:12:51.000 Some what would you do's are gold and deserve a green screen?
02:12:55.000 Your waiter will be with you short.
02:12:57.000 Thank you.
02:13:02.000 Do you mind if I ask why you're wearing that jacket?
02:13:04.000 I'm getting old.
02:13:05.000 Didn't want to get sick.
02:13:06.000 I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't clear enough.
02:13:09.000 Why are you wearing that jacket with that on the jacket?
02:13:12.000 The Civil War ended more than 150 years ago.
02:13:16.000 Isn't that such a shitty art department Confederate flag that you'd never see anywhere in the world?
02:13:23.000 It's an iron on made to look old.
02:13:25.000 Are they about to say people still aren't over it?
02:13:28.000 As in, like, well, slavery preceded that by a couple of years, so like, with that logic, people aren't over slavery.
02:13:34.000 What are you talking about, Detective Shitty?
02:13:36.000 They're going to get into an argument.
02:13:37.000 Yeah, yeah, but someone's going to say, leave them alone.
02:13:39.000 No, the narrative was just like, the Confederate Army was beaten 150 years ago.
02:13:45.000 More than 150 years ago.
02:13:47.000 But today, the Confederate battle flag continues to divide Americans.
02:13:54.000 Sort of.
02:13:55.000 The recent protests against racial injustice have jumped to the juice.
02:14:03.000 I can't even believe that you made that.
02:14:05.000 Do you think that's okay to go out with that in public site?
02:14:07.000 Well, I'm from the state of Mississippi.
02:14:09.000 Yeah, I'm just paying homage to my heritage.
02:14:11.000 This customer wastes no time questioning that same heritage.
02:14:19.000 He'll ask them, where are you all from?
02:14:21.000 Where are y'all from?
02:14:22.000 Michigan.
02:14:22.000 Michigan?
02:14:23.000 In Oregon.
02:14:24.000 Yeah, I mean, they're not from the South, so you really wouldn't understand.
02:14:28.000 But that doesn't stop these Northerners from having an opinion.
02:14:32.000 It doesn't represent people in the South.
02:14:38.000 If it bothers you, you can just look the other way.
02:14:43.000 How dare you?
02:14:44.000 How dare you tell you me to mind my own?
02:14:46.000 Maybe I'm because I'm Canadian.
02:14:47.000 I get so much shit for saying this.
02:14:49.000 I don't get the Confederate flag problem.
02:14:51.000 They were traitors.
02:14:53.000 Okay.
02:14:54.000 You know, when I was young, it was everywhere.
02:14:57.000 Billy Idol had it on his guitar.
02:14:59.000 At my wedding, we had a Confederate flag at the reception with an Indian on it.
02:15:03.000 Indians love the Confederate flag.
02:15:06.000 Wow.
02:15:07.000 It means rebel.
02:15:08.000 I'm not bothering anybody else.
02:15:09.000 Hence, Billy Idol with Rebel Yell.
02:15:13.000 It wasn't offensive in the 80s.
02:15:16.000 It wasn't offensive in the early aughts.
02:15:20.000 My heritage, my family, my state.
02:15:23.000 With Phil unmoved, this Oregon native makes one final attempt to drive the point home.
02:15:31.000 My family's German and I don't wear swatsing.
02:15:33.000 Oh, you idiot.
02:15:35.000 My family wasn't Nazis.
02:15:36.000 Great analogy.
02:15:39.000 I don't recognize that as part of my competition.
02:15:42.000 I can't even believe that you made that comparison.
02:15:44.000 That's where Phil draws the line.
02:15:47.000 My family is not Nazis.
02:15:48.000 That is a comparison.
02:15:50.000 And both customers watch as he leaves, upset.
02:15:54.000 I don't feel comfortable around this.
02:15:59.000 I don't feel comfortable with your jacket.
02:16:01.000 Yeah, your jacket sucks.
02:16:03.000 What is it, like a five-year-old swim short design?
02:16:07.000 Just think.
02:16:08.000 I was at a bar in South Carolina once where there was a Confederate flag on the wall, and I was with a black dude who lived there.
02:16:15.000 This is in Abbeville.
02:16:16.000 And he goes, I go, how do you feel about that?
02:16:18.000 And he goes, I fucking hate it.
02:16:19.000 I can't believe it's on that wall.
02:16:22.000 Ideally, the kind of stories I like is when he goes, I get it.
02:16:25.000 You know, we had a Civil War.
02:16:26.000 Fuck the North.
02:16:27.000 That's what I would like the story to be.
02:16:29.000 Your ancestors fought for what they believed in.
02:16:31.000 That was the flag in which they held when they did it.
02:16:33.000 Yeah.
02:16:34.000 He was the guy who, him and his brother-in-law were raising the kid.
02:16:40.000 They weren't gay.
02:16:41.000 The mother, black mother, was a crackhead.
02:16:45.000 No, sorry, the white mother was a crackhead.
02:16:47.000 And the white guy was raising his daughter as a single dad, his white daughter.
02:16:50.000 But he was so black, like black acting, he was white, that he wasn't into rap.
02:16:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:16:57.000 I told you about him, right?
02:16:58.000 Like, he doesn't like all the cursing and rap.
02:17:00.000 It's bad for our community.
02:17:01.000 He's like Morgan Freeman black.
02:17:02.000 Yeah, he was like a pull your pants up kind of wigger.
02:17:05.000 You're making our race look bad.
02:17:07.000 That ain't ours.
02:17:08.000 Making the brothers look bad.
02:17:11.000 And his daughter was named Neveya, like Heaven Backwards, which is a common black girl name.
02:17:17.000 Gavin and Ryan have been...
02:17:18.000 Oh, yeah.
02:17:21.000 I was on that show.
02:17:22.000 What would you do?
02:17:23.000 You were?
02:17:24.000 Yeah.
02:17:24.000 I never showed you that?
02:17:25.000 No.
02:17:26.000 Pretty sure I did.
02:17:27.000 Let's see.
02:17:28.000 What would you do?
02:17:30.000 And they have you coming in and being a retard, and they see if the guy, your boss, fires you?
02:17:35.000 No, that's stupid.
02:17:38.000 No, I was just...
02:17:38.000 I was in the background.
02:17:39.000 I had to catch a train, so I didn't sign the waiver, so I didn't talk to them, but I'm clearly there with my red hoodie.
02:17:44.000 And I was one of the first people that...
02:17:47.000 So you're blurred?
02:17:49.000 No, I'm not blurred.
02:17:51.000 But I knew it was a fucking act.
02:17:53.000 I saw the earpiece in the guy's ear next to me.
02:17:55.000 So these guys came up next to me ordering food.
02:17:59.000 And I guess I'm in this group here.
02:18:02.000 This last group.
02:18:04.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this group.
02:18:05.000 I'm here with my red hoodie.
02:18:10.000 There I am.
02:18:13.000 My red hoodie with my hair.
02:18:15.000 Wow, Ryan.
02:18:16.000 Thanks for making that part of the show.
02:18:18.000 Well, it's a small world, you know?
02:18:19.000 That was amazing.
02:18:20.000 And also, wow, you really were on that show.
02:18:23.000 No problem.
02:18:25.000 You were on that show, all right?
02:18:26.000 They cut me out, and I spoke to them first.
02:18:28.000 I was like, shouldn't you help them?
02:18:30.000 Like, we're on break, and he took a bite of his thing.
02:18:32.000 And I was like, this is a show.
02:18:34.000 They're actor people.
02:18:34.000 And I've seen that guy before in something.
02:18:36.000 He's like some actor.
02:18:38.000 Anyway, I've noticed lately that apologies do absolutely nothing to fend off the woke mom back in the day.
02:18:42.000 A person could apologize sometimes and get their job back.
02:18:44.000 But today, people just lose their jobs and look weak for apologizing.
02:18:48.000 Too true.
02:18:49.000 I would argue they haven't worked for a while.
02:18:52.000 Although there was that woman who said her co-worker looked like a gorilla.
02:18:57.000 They were a news team.
02:18:59.000 It was a black guy and a white woman.
02:19:01.000 And some gorilla did some cute thing.
02:19:03.000 And they cut back to them and they go, he's adorable.
02:19:05.000 And then she goes, he looks like you.
02:19:10.000 And then she had this bawling apology, crying her eyes out.
02:19:14.000 And I think it worked.
02:19:17.000 But that girl, that Teen Vogue girl, she apologized.
02:19:20.000 That didn't work.
02:19:22.000 You want to support Roland Martin?
02:19:23.000 I'm Biltrick.
02:19:24.000 Oh, Roland Martin.
02:19:25.000 We've had him on the show.
02:19:27.000 Oh, yeah.
02:19:29.000 So, of course, he thinks it's hard.
02:19:31.000 Nice footage.
02:19:35.000 Well, that's her apology.
02:19:37.000 I said something yesterday.
02:19:39.000 Don't take considerate.
02:19:41.000 Don't inappropriate.
02:19:42.000 And I hurt people.
02:19:43.000 Wouldn't it be funny if the gorilla was wearing a suit with a purple tie and a white shirt?
02:19:48.000 Exactly like that.
02:19:49.000 In the watch.
02:19:50.000 Fuck it, yeah.
02:19:50.000 But not that the gorilla is going to look like him, but can we see the gorilla?
02:19:54.000 Yeah.
02:19:55.000 Crazy-ass white people.
02:19:57.000 What in the hail?
02:19:58.000 What the hell?
02:19:58.000 Hail.
02:20:03.000 Pretty bad, lady.
02:20:05.000 I usually like to take the side of the person with free speech and all that, but he doesn't have a suit and tie on.
02:20:12.000 He's close up.
02:20:14.000 That looks like you.
02:20:17.000 Oh.
02:20:18.000 He didn't say yeah.
02:20:19.000 Yeah.
02:20:20.000 Wait, is it because he's always fascinated with the camera?
02:20:23.000 There's no, there's nothing to defend her.
02:20:25.000 Maybe if the guy was peering into the camera, they might have something.
02:20:30.000 But wait, she's.
02:20:31.000 She's wrong.
02:20:32.000 She's wrong.
02:20:33.000 But also, he said, yeah.
02:20:35.000 Right after she said it.
02:20:37.000 Yeah.
02:20:39.000 Uh-oh.
02:20:40.000 All right.
02:20:42.000 Uh-oh.
02:20:42.000 Anyway, I think she held on to her job.
02:20:44.000 Wow.
02:20:45.000 Well, because she looks weird, too.
02:20:47.000 She's blubbering.
02:20:51.000 Chris Harrison from The Bachelor is the best example of this.
02:20:53.000 He gave this totally lame statement about how he's listening to people of color, and they still kicked him off the show.
02:20:59.000 Sir, it's worse than that.
02:21:01.000 He took classes.
02:21:04.000 The guy is still being re-educated.
02:21:06.000 He's in a re-education camp.
02:21:08.000 We've got to get into that, man.
02:21:12.000 Couldn't he have...
02:21:13.000 They would be so freaked out when I walked in.
02:21:15.000 Hi, I'm the leader of the Proud Boys.
02:21:21.000 That is weird.
02:21:22.000 We're not sure our powers are strong enough.
02:21:24.000 It's like the end of Ghostbusters.
02:21:26.000 That would be like Zog.
02:21:28.000 You have to cross streams to defeat you.
02:21:30.000 Couldn't he have not the Zionist occupational government, but the monster.
02:21:36.000 Couldn't he have done that with Gina Coreno?
02:21:38.000 Didn't spin this into a career move?
02:21:39.000 Get involved with the right wing, who would be more than happy to host a canceled celebrity.
02:21:43.000 I thought a great bit for your network would be censored.tv presents how to get canceled, as told by the most canceled man in America.
02:21:49.000 You could make a guide as to how someone could navigate their cancellation, keep their dignity, and go on to start a new and prosperous career.
02:21:55.000 I think a lot of celebrities out there don't know what they're doing and could really use your advice.
02:21:59.000 Yeah, I mean, you just got to fucking...
02:22:01.000 It's like getting dumped.
02:22:03.000 The stupidest thing you can do when it girls over you is call back and go, this is getting harder and harder for me as I process it.
02:22:09.000 I made you a mixtape.
02:22:11.000 Yeah, make Twitter a mixtape.
02:22:12.000 Yeah, just...
02:22:15.000 And Twitter's like, why?
02:22:16.000 Don't fear the Reaper on here.
02:22:18.000 That's not romantic.
02:22:19.000 Looks like the official Doors account is trying to say something.
02:22:22.000 The Doors on Instagram.
02:22:24.000 Whoever controls the media controls the mind.
02:22:27.000 Jim Morrison.
02:22:30.000 Are you assuming that's anti-Semitic?
02:22:34.000 From Larry.
02:22:36.000 I may have found the perfect girl.
02:22:37.000 Let me know what you two retards think.
02:22:40.000 Okay.
02:22:41.000 Opening.
02:22:43.000 Post your oversized fit, and then what's underneath.
02:22:50.000 She's very attractive, but again, a little too.
02:22:59.000 That's pretty amazing.
02:23:02.000 Wow.
02:23:04.000 I did something else.
02:23:05.000 But I like him a little fatter.
02:23:07.000 But I understand that if you young men, you love like perfect bodies, flat stomachs, perfect perky tits.
02:23:14.000 We actually like a bit of meat on the bones.
02:23:17.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:23:18.000 Here's a guy from London who sent us this like 900-word email.
02:23:27.000 Just do this.
02:23:59.000 Before those words lost all meaning, I worked at MTV.
02:24:03.000 So this guy's telling me that it takes up far too much of the day, and then he goes on to take up far too much of our time.
02:24:11.000 No one was the least bit politically mainstream or cautious.
02:24:14.000 It was fashionable.
02:24:15.000 Yeah, that's when, you know, the late 90s, early aughts was when MTV discovered jackass.
02:24:20.000 Best era ever.
02:24:21.000 Then around 2010, something changed.
02:24:23.000 The industry started filling up with marketing people, legions of idiots, blah, blah, blah.
02:24:27.000 So the long march toward blandness began.
02:24:28.000 I sure you know what I'm talking about.
02:24:30.000 As things became slicker and blander, speaking asked by minimum management, where's all the award-winning stuff?
02:24:34.000 I had to tell them that everything was now designed by committee to be broadly appealing.
02:24:38.000 It was vanilla soup.
02:24:40.000 I finally decided to get out after a four-hour discussion of the personality of a biscuit ended up with me being accused of being sexist.
02:24:46.000 You know what I remember about advertising too?
02:24:48.000 You'd come up with a hilarious concept, and then they'd inevitably end the meeting with, how are we doing for diversity?
02:24:54.000 And then you go, I guess like the guy who gets the pizza could be black.
02:24:58.000 There's some diversity.
02:24:59.000 Then they go, well, now it looks like he's, all the white people are successful and he's just delivering pizza.
02:25:05.000 Oh yeah, okay.
02:25:07.000 I guess the homeowner is black.
02:25:10.000 Oh, so he's black with a white wife.
02:25:11.000 And then you just, you keep changing all these contexts by making it so racial.
02:25:18.000 And now, what are commercials?
02:25:19.000 We still got to do that.
02:25:20.000 Sit and watch commercials all night.
02:25:25.000 In a fit of frustration and anger at the torture of this ordeal, I suggested maybe he should be at home doing the washing up and ironing to subvert patriarchal normativity.
02:25:34.000 This resulted in me being summoned to HR.
02:25:37.000 I'm about to get fired and canceled.
02:25:40.000 The worst thing about the far left is they forcibly move centrist lefty types like myself to the right.
02:25:45.000 I couldn't be happier.
02:25:46.000 I now run a successful business, have a beautiful family, never look back.
02:25:49.000 As you say, get fired.
02:25:51.000 So this guy just starts the letter with, your show's too long, and then proceeds to just give me his life story with no point.
02:26:00.000 On a final note, the media business is full of women who thought that sacrificing a family and kids would be worth their career.
02:26:05.000 They're now childless, unhappy, and hate on all the young women in the office.
02:26:08.000 I was thinking that the old ones with dried up ovaries might warn the young women, but it's not worth it.
02:26:12.000 They actively want everyone to be as unhappy as they are.
02:26:20.000 Guy who always writes in saying we should do a Spotify playlist of all the songs.
02:26:24.000 Okay.
02:26:26.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan.
02:26:27.000 I remember you mentioned a book on the show about a dude who has some sort of captain or pirate.
02:26:30.000 Yeah, I almost brought that in today.
02:26:31.000 It's called Shackleford.
02:26:34.000 Shackenford?
02:26:36.000 He developed a few techniques on how to run an effective ship, and then they use it to run a business.
02:26:40.000 Please, it's Shackleford's.
02:26:42.000 Shackleford's Rules?
02:26:52.000 What is it again?
02:26:55.000 Boat Captain Forbes rules boat captain business rules Ford anyway.
02:27:18.000 We'll dig that up later.
02:27:19.000 I'll put it in the write-up.
02:27:20.000 How's that?
02:27:23.000 Boo-ba-doo-ba-doo.
02:27:25.000 This guy recommends the art of war.
02:27:26.000 Go fuck yourself.
02:27:27.000 That's so boring and pedestrian and lame.
02:27:30.000 Why don't you tell me to check out the sex pistols while you're at it?
02:27:33.000 Why the fuck is everyone just letting them get away with using this phony baloney term, systemic racism?
02:27:38.000 That's not what systemic means.
02:27:40.000 They argue that unequal outcomes...
02:27:42.000 Actually, wait, they don't argue this.
02:27:43.000 They proclaim as fact from the Ivory Tower that unequal outcomes among racial groups is a result of a system, and the system that causes racial inequality is therefore systemically racist.
02:27:55.000 That's not what systemic means.
02:27:56.000 Systemic means throughout the system.
02:27:59.000 And they know it.
02:27:59.000 Systemic cancer doesn't mean you have a body that occasionally produces a cancer.
02:28:03.000 It means you have cancer throughout your entire system.
02:28:06.000 Yeah, that's what they mean.
02:28:07.000 When they say systemic racism, they mean it's everything.
02:28:10.000 Like where your fridge is, the quality of your fridge, the food you buy, this pen, the manufacturing of this pen.
02:28:18.000 White people got more money from the manufacturing of this pen than blacks.
02:28:22.000 Therefore, this pen is racist.
02:28:26.000 Side note, highest suicide groups are Native Americans and white people.
02:28:29.000 Wonder if there's anything to do with killing the whiteness in the child?
02:28:32.000 With killing the whiteness in the child?
02:28:35.000 What's that got to do with Indians?
02:28:41.000 Hey, G. Doggin Rice guy.
02:28:42.000 I was curious if you ever followed up on that chick from the infamous Gav vs.
02:28:45.000 Feminist video.
02:28:46.000 You seemed to crush her arguments.
02:28:47.000 Yeah, I thought she would just retire after that.
02:28:49.000 But I saw her appear with like a flag that had a Klansman on it saying Trump and the Klan go hand in hand or something at some rally like during the Trump era.
02:29:01.000 So these people are not phased by logic.
02:29:06.000 All right, let's hit the fucking final video.
02:29:29.000 I found someone with the sprinkles.
02:29:33.000 My wife watches TikTok and she'll occasionally send me someone who's magic.
02:29:36.000 That's how I found out about that gay dude.
02:29:39.000 And this guy is fucking hilarious too.
02:29:42.000 Ladies, this buds for you.
02:29:44.000 Animals that I just want to hold for like three seconds, but due to the nature of the animal, they will not let me.
02:29:50.000 Little baby ducks, I understand that you're just a soft little baby bird and that I look like a big scary monster with sharp teeth, but that is not the case.
02:29:56.000 I just want to kiss your little forehead.
02:29:58.000 If I just plucked one of you out of the row, out of the row of all the little baby ducks, your mom won't even notice.
02:30:02.000 It's gonna be fine.
02:30:03.000 I will care for you like a goose.
02:30:05.000 Wild rabbits are the temptresses of the feral animal world.
02:30:08.000 For some reason, their defense mechanism starts with them standing still for about 20 seconds before bolting into the woods, which happens to be exactly enough time to make me think they're gonna give me a chance, but they never do.
02:30:18.000 I know if I scratched your little head, you would just love it.
02:30:20.000 You're living in ignorance.
02:30:21.000 Tiny little baby bears.
02:30:23.000 I think me and the baby bear would both have a great time, but sadly, Mama Bear would be hurtling at me at 35 miles per hour going straight for the juggler, but it may be worth it.
02:30:30.000 I might fucking do it.
02:30:31.000 Our baby seal's gonna look like this and then wriggle out of my arms at the first sign of affection.
02:30:35.000 Forehead is perfectly shaped for sweet little kisses, and I know it's gonna be right in the nose.
02:30:39.000 I don't care.
02:30:42.000 Get fired.
02:30:42.000 Get in trouble.
02:30:43.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.
02:31:01.000 In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger.
02:31:04.000 Cause I can, cause I can do it better.