Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E93

00:00:46.000 That was Mark Mothersbau of Devo.

00:00:48.000 Today's Devo Day, Devo's from Akron, Ohio, and they're not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:00:52.000 Much like Kate Bush, Tina Turner, Iron Maiden.

00:00:57.000 Who else isn't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

00:01:00.000 Did I say Tina Turner?

00:01:02.000 Yes.

00:01:03.000 Should Devo be in there?

00:01:04.000 I don't like how the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has all these people who aren't rock and roll.

00:01:08.000 The Sex Pistols, they offered the Sex Pistols.

00:01:11.000 Sex Pistols told them to fuck off.

00:01:13.000 But punk is anti-rock.

00:01:16.000 And rap is a different genre.

00:01:18.000 Go have your rap Hall of Fame.

00:01:20.000 Call it the Black Music Hall of Fame or something.

00:01:22.000 But shouldn't it be rock and roll?

00:01:25.000 Kate Bush is not rock and roll.

00:01:27.000 Keep running up that hill with no problems.

00:01:31.000 Don't want to hear, don't want to hear.

00:01:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:35.000 And Tina Turner, that's like soul.

00:01:38.000 Iron Maiden should be in.

00:01:40.000 They're heavy metal.

00:01:42.000 Although, it's amazing how successful they are with like one hit.

00:01:47.000 No, two hits.

00:01:48.000 There's 666, the number of the beast.

00:01:50.000 Then there's Run to the Hills.

00:01:54.000 For that, they get their own jet plane that Bruce Dickinson drives.

00:01:57.000 Okay.

00:01:58.000 But yeah, big day for us here at the studio.

00:02:01.000 It's Devo Day.

00:02:02.000 I'm not really that big of a Devo fan.

00:02:04.000 I like Whip It.

00:02:05.000 It's a good song.

00:02:06.000 Mark Mothersbaugh is actually an amazing musician.

00:02:08.000 You know what he did the soundtrack for?

00:02:11.000 Everything.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, he did the Rugrats theme song.

00:02:15.000 Isn't it fucking like clockwork?

00:02:18.000 Ryan's references are children references.

00:02:21.000 Oh, yeah, I know him.

00:02:22.000 I've never heard of Devo, but I know the guy who did the soundtrack to the Lego movie, and he was the guy behind Rugrats.

00:02:29.000 Didn't they do My Shirona?

00:02:34.000 My Sharona is the knack.

00:02:35.000 Oh, fuck.

00:02:37.000 But the guy is prolific.

00:02:39.000 He must be a gazillionaire.

00:02:42.000 If you look at his discography, it's basically every movie you've ever heard of.

00:02:45.000 I bet he gets paid a million bucks.

00:02:47.000 And he pounds it out in like three days.

00:02:51.000 That is my theory.

00:02:52.000 There was a fucking great jam he had.

00:02:54.000 His solo work is rare and weird.

00:02:56.000 But I couldn't find this one particular song that really, what do you say?

00:03:01.000 Pops?

00:03:02.000 Flaps?

00:03:04.000 Slaps.

00:03:06.000 Peewee's Playhouse.

00:03:07.000 Pee Wee's Playhouse.

00:03:08.000 Get the fudge out of it.

00:03:09.000 Dumb and Dumber?

00:03:12.000 Look at Ryan Learner.

00:03:13.000 Rocket Power?

00:03:14.000 Wow.

00:03:15.000 That's everything.

00:03:16.000 He did.

00:03:17.000 Well, if you have kids, you're familiar with Mark Mother's Bows.

00:03:20.000 Mark Mother Bows.

00:03:22.000 Wow, that's a tough one.

00:03:23.000 Mark Mother Bows' music.

00:03:27.000 Mother Bows?

00:03:28.000 Tiger King?

00:03:30.000 What the f?

00:03:31.000 I told you.

00:03:32.000 He's done everything.

00:03:34.000 Oh.

00:03:34.000 He's the only guy in the world.

00:03:38.000 But he did Yo Gabba Gabba, too.

00:03:40.000 He would do a little music segment on there.

00:03:43.000 So that's fun.

00:03:45.000 Do you think Iron Maiden should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

00:03:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:48.000 So Heavy Metal is rock and roll.

00:03:50.000 Yes.

00:03:51.000 It's hard rock and roll.

00:03:52.000 Right.

00:03:53.000 I don't think Prince should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:03:55.000 Yeah.

00:03:56.000 He's pop.

00:03:57.000 It's kind of debatable.

00:03:58.000 It's called the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:04:01.000 What part do you not understand?

00:04:02.000 Well, just like Rolling Stone used to be a rock magazine.

00:04:05.000 Now it's just like anybody.

00:04:07.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:04:08.000 Bad Company isn't in there.

00:04:09.000 Blue Oyster Cult isn't in there.

00:04:11.000 That stinks.

00:04:12.000 Bad Company?

00:04:13.000 Oh, wait, no.

00:04:14.000 Feel like making love, damn.

00:04:18.000 Remember when girls came out and they go, oh, these girls are all rich kids.

00:04:23.000 It's all that privilege.

00:04:25.000 And I go, what's their background?

00:04:26.000 Well, the pretty girl there with the British accent, her dad was the drummer for Bad Company.

00:04:33.000 What?

00:04:34.000 What is that?

00:04:34.000 The most privileged band in the world?

00:04:36.000 They had one hit.

00:04:38.000 I don't think she gets the red carpet everywhere.

00:04:40.000 She goes, oh my God, it's the drummer's daughter from Bad Company.

00:04:44.000 Yes, of course you can come in.

00:04:46.000 What is this all about?

00:04:47.000 BTO and then The Guess Who as one ticket.

00:04:52.000 They both had Randy Bachman.

00:04:56.000 Bachman Turner Overdrive, ring any bells?

00:04:59.000 Of course.

00:04:59.000 The clue is in the acronym, little boy.

00:05:01.000 I see.

00:05:02.000 I never knew that he was in the guess who.

00:05:04.000 Yeah, he quit at their peak in 1970.

00:05:08.000 We discussed this on a show called Get Off My Lawn.

00:05:10.000 That I do remember.

00:05:11.000 Like a week ago.

00:05:12.000 Yes.

00:05:13.000 Foreigners suck.

00:05:14.000 Grand Funk Railroad can lick my dick.

00:05:16.000 Mott the Hoop will snooze.

00:05:17.000 Jethro Tull don't care.

00:05:19.000 Don't care.

00:05:20.000 Joe Walsh, maybe.

00:05:22.000 Yeah.

00:05:22.000 John Mayle.

00:05:23.000 Judas Priest should be in there for sure.

00:05:25.000 I thought they were.

00:05:25.000 They have a ton of hits.

00:05:27.000 Freewheel Burning.

00:05:28.000 Breaking the Law.

00:05:29.000 Breaking the Law.

00:05:31.000 Meatloaf should be in there.

00:05:32.000 Pat Benatar, no, that's pop.

00:05:35.000 Peter Frampton, maybe.

00:05:36.000 Phil Collins, possibly.

00:05:38.000 Scorpions.

00:05:38.000 Cool Haram, no.

00:05:40.000 Scorpions for sure.

00:05:41.000 Rio Speedwagon, maybe.

00:05:42.000 Dismiss, they're pop.

00:05:44.000 Soundgarden, hell yeah.

00:05:45.000 I don't like Soundgard, but there's an argument there.

00:05:46.000 Yeah, because if you're going to put in the bands that they've put adjacent to that band, then why not?

00:05:50.000 I never liked grunge.

00:05:51.000 Do they have a limit?

00:05:52.000 It's like shitty rock.

00:05:53.000 Do they have a limit of bands that they could put in?

00:05:55.000 Or what's the reason for that getting in?

00:05:57.000 Have you ever been there?

00:05:59.000 Of course not.

00:05:59.000 You've never been anywhere.

00:06:00.000 It's a finite building.

00:06:02.000 It's a pretty big museum, but not very big.

00:06:05.000 It's not the Met.

00:06:06.000 It's not the Natural History Museum.

00:06:08.000 It's just like two floors, I think.

00:06:10.000 And both of them are the size of like a Chuck E. Cheese.

00:06:13.000 And it's so gay.

00:06:14.000 It just has like prince's pants.

00:06:18.000 It's the same as the lobby of the Hard Rock Cafe.

00:06:21.000 Here's a guitar pick that Finn Lizzie used.

00:06:24.000 Okay.

00:06:25.000 So garbage, in other words.

00:06:27.000 This is their garbage.

00:06:29.000 Used pants And an old plastic pick.

00:06:32.000 Like, how about the losers who pay big money for that kind of shit?

00:06:36.000 I have Joe Walsh's bass.

00:06:38.000 He played bass, you know.

00:06:40.000 Okay.

00:06:41.000 I have Paul McCartney.

00:06:43.000 He bought a SG, a Gibson SG, and he signed it.

00:06:47.000 And it's framed on my wall.

00:06:50.000 What?

00:06:51.000 No.

00:06:52.000 I disagree with you.

00:06:53.000 There's a whole punk section, too, in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:06:56.000 The only problem is it's in a place called Cleveland, which I'm sorry to our Cleveland viewers, but your town is hard to love.

00:07:06.000 Biggie Smalls.

00:07:07.000 Biggie Smalls?

00:07:09.000 One of the 2020 inductees.

00:07:10.000 Little Richard should be there.

00:07:12.000 He was a progenitor of rock and roll by all means.

00:07:14.000 True rock and roll.

00:07:15.000 Yeah, he also sort of invented showmanship in many ways.

00:07:19.000 I mean, you wouldn't have Mick Jagger prancing around if it wasn't for Little Richard.

00:07:22.000 But fucking Biggie Smalls, that's a different type of music.

00:07:27.000 America is obsessed with appeasing blacks.

00:07:29.000 We're going to get into this later, where they are more concerned with hurt feelings of blacks than they are with raped kids.

00:07:36.000 It's very near and dear to the black American's heart, who is in, if they're their representation in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:07:44.000 So this could have prevented protests and outrage.

00:07:46.000 So I think it kind of makes sense.

00:07:48.000 So what?

00:07:48.000 Let them protest.

00:07:50.000 I am banned because a rumor started that I might be racist.

00:07:53.000 I'm totally canceled.

00:07:54.000 Pedophiles, that's not an issue.

00:07:56.000 They do drag queen story hour.

00:07:58.000 They keep getting caught fucking kids, these drag queen story hour types, several times, different ones.

00:08:04.000 And they're like, well, it's not that bad.

00:08:06.000 At least there's no angry Negroes.

00:08:09.000 I'm not even exaggerating.

00:08:13.000 Let's get to today's book, When Harry Became Sally by Ryan T. Anderson.

00:08:20.000 Are you supposed to say T every time you say his name?

00:08:24.000 That ticks me off.

00:08:26.000 Am I supposed to do that?

00:08:27.000 I'm just saying Ryan Anderson.

00:08:29.000 I understand you want to be able, you want to be Google-able, but as far as talking about your book, I'm not saying Ryan T. Anderson.

00:08:36.000 Ryan K. Rivera.

00:08:37.000 That's fucking lame.

00:08:38.000 Kermit T. Frog here.

00:08:40.000 Paul Joseph Watson.

00:08:42.000 Somehow I gave him a pass.

00:08:44.000 I don't know why.

00:08:45.000 Maybe because I have a crush on him.

00:08:47.000 But Jordan B. Peterson, he used to prefer that, right?

00:08:50.000 Yeah, he gave that up.

00:08:51.000 Emma McInnis.

00:08:52.000 That doesn't roll off the tongue.

00:08:56.000 Speaking of faggots, this book is about the trans movement.

00:09:00.000 And Ryan T. Anderson is a fucking genius.

00:09:02.000 I just used to T. He's high T, high IQ.

00:09:05.000 He's a Catholic intellectual.

00:09:07.000 And this book, it's not the way I would write, because I just say they're mentally ill faggots.

00:09:13.000 Anyway, next.

00:09:15.000 But this is a very sober and calm, everyone who's pro-trans should read this book.

00:09:22.000 And if your sister is talking her bullshit and you guys still have a semblance of a friendship, a relationship, I would pay her $100 to read this.

00:09:30.000 You can never, the old days of giving liberals books and saying, okay, read this and get back to me, those days are gone.

00:09:35.000 So you've got to pay them.

00:09:37.000 I offered one of the guys who co-founded, what was it, Vox?

00:09:44.000 I offered him $1,000 to read any Ann Coulter book because he was calling her the worst cunt of all, of humankind.

00:09:53.000 I was like, just read one of her books, please.

00:09:55.000 I'll pay you.

00:09:56.000 So offer your sister $100 to read this.

00:09:58.000 And it's very metered and comic.

00:10:00.000 It kind of reads like a smart priest wrote it.

00:10:02.000 And he just goes through all the things like, I get what you're saying.

00:10:06.000 You don't feel comfortable in your body.

00:10:08.000 But it's kind of radical in the sense that he sort of implies, be a fucking freak.

00:10:13.000 Like back when I was young, if you felt weird in your body, you had blue cone spikes and a jacket covered in studs and 14 hole Dr. Martins and like paint all over your fucking face.

00:10:23.000 Like you could be a weirdo.

00:10:26.000 You don't have to do anything biological to yourself.

00:10:28.000 Get a tattoo.

00:10:30.000 Get a nose piercing.

00:10:31.000 You can be a total and utter freak.

00:10:33.000 But hey, don't chop your tits off.

00:10:35.000 I can't believe this is radical.

00:10:37.000 I'm canceled for my radical beliefs like don't cut your tits off lesbians.

00:10:41.000 Just eat pussy.

00:10:43.000 You think you might be a woman as a young boy?

00:10:46.000 Tell you what, when you turn 18, get some red leather short shorts and dance around the West Village for a year, sucking everything that moves.

00:10:53.000 Then get back to me.

00:10:54.000 So in this, he talks about hormone blockers, the permanent damage they do.

00:10:58.000 And he also has a whole chapter devoted to people who sort of fell into this brainwashing, did the operation, and regret it.

00:11:06.000 And they don't just like want to turn back.

00:11:08.000 The thing they really regret is they thought it would solve all their problems.

00:11:12.000 I mean, you've heard this million times.

00:11:13.000 This is why their suicide rate is so high.

00:11:15.000 They feel suicidal.

00:11:16.000 They feel depressed.

00:11:17.000 They go, it must be because I have a dick and I'm born a woman because I'm gay.

00:11:20.000 Cut the dick off.

00:11:21.000 I'm still depressed.

00:11:22.000 What the fuck?

00:11:23.000 And now I have this stinky hole that grows internal hairs and gets hairballs wedged up my vagina.

00:11:32.000 So he's a very pro-straight guy.

00:11:34.000 He's not pro-gay.

00:11:37.000 His first book was in defense of straight marriage and how marriage is made for heterosexuals.

00:11:41.000 So that is his bag.

00:11:42.000 But one angle I got from this book is like, be a fag.

00:11:46.000 Go nuts.

00:11:47.000 You're not a woman.

00:11:48.000 You're a homo.

00:11:54.000 That was the working title for the book.

00:11:56.000 Be a fag, go nuts.

00:11:58.000 But he didn't like how it matched a G with a G. Be a fag, go like duck tail.

00:12:03.000 Yeah.

00:12:03.000 So he changed it to when Harry became Sally.

00:12:06.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.

00:12:09.000 On a human level.

00:12:11.000 Ryan has some exciting news.

00:12:13.000 He gave a model an STD.

00:12:16.000 I believe he gave her, what was it, herpes?

00:12:19.000 No, this was Louis C.K. Oh, I'm sorry.

00:12:23.000 Close.

00:12:23.000 I'm constantly confusing you guys because you're both so smart and funny.

00:12:27.000 I do like to do a Louis C.K. embrace.

00:12:29.000 I've always been, I hate his politics.

00:12:32.000 Oh, speaking of politics, all gas, no breaks, fired.

00:12:36.000 We hate him now.

00:12:37.000 He's with Tim Heidecker.

00:12:39.000 The Proud Boy shit is going to be used against them.

00:12:42.000 He's a cunt.

00:12:43.000 He's a pussy.

00:12:44.000 Shitty politics.

00:12:45.000 Fuck you.

00:12:46.000 And he's probably going to have Vic Berger edit all the Proud Boys interviews that Andrew did.

00:12:51.000 He joined the dark side.

00:12:52.000 He joined the pussy side.

00:12:54.000 Sorry, he don't like you anymore.

00:12:55.000 I'm burning my shirt.

00:13:02.000 Any his.

00:13:03.000 It's sad to see that guy go.

00:13:05.000 But yeah, sorry, back to politics.

00:13:07.000 I know I wouldn't like Louis C.K.'s politics.

00:13:10.000 Eric Warheim is a fucking perv.

00:13:13.000 Look at these fucking seedy, schmarthy fuckers.

00:13:16.000 Everyone's worried about me.

00:13:17.000 I like Eric Warheim, but his sexual proclivities make Matt Goetz' accusations look quaint.

00:13:27.000 But anyway, back to politics.

00:13:28.000 So Louis C.K., we obviously hate his politics, whatever.

00:13:30.000 He's not dogmatic about it, though, most of the time.

00:13:34.000 But as far as his crimes go, I feel nothing.

00:13:38.000 You ask someone if you could beat off, I think that's weird.

00:13:40.000 I don't get it, but it's sex.

00:13:42.000 Sex is weird.

00:13:44.000 It's elusive.

00:13:46.000 If that turns you on, then it's none of my fucking beeswax.

00:13:49.000 The fact that he lost $30 million because of that, and we've got losers like Penis C.K. doing shit is unfair.

00:13:58.000 And giving someone STDs?

00:14:00.000 That's not a crime.

00:14:02.000 I'm sure I've done it a million times.

00:14:03.000 I've definitely had every STD on earth back in my Montreal days.

00:14:06.000 Emails reveal Louis C.K. may have given Sarma.

00:14:09.000 I don't know who that is.

00:14:11.000 She's very hot, though.

00:14:13.000 That's crazy hot.

00:14:14.000 What would you say she is?

00:14:16.000 She's just like a typical hottie.

00:14:18.000 She's like a 7.6.

00:14:21.000 7.5.

00:14:24.000 But he definitely...

00:14:24.000 She's a model.

00:14:25.000 He definitely went fucked upwards in that exchange.

00:14:28.000 Although he does look pretty good in that picture.

00:14:30.000 I think so.

00:14:31.000 Yeah.

00:14:31.000 Not this one.

00:14:33.000 That's not good.

00:14:36.000 He looks like that water bear.

00:14:39.000 Water bear.

00:14:40.000 He looks like that microbe.

00:14:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:45.000 Tardigrade.

00:14:46.000 Yeah.

00:14:46.000 Oh, my God.

00:14:47.000 He looks like something under your bed.

00:14:49.000 He looks like he could survive in space.

00:14:50.000 He looks like he's from that area where you can't get your broom to.

00:14:55.000 He's all lint.

00:14:57.000 He looks like the broom when you finally could get to it.

00:15:02.000 What does this say?

00:15:02.000 Hey, I understand you're pissed off.

00:15:05.000 Why would you put that in an email?

00:15:07.000 But zoom out.

00:15:08.000 I can't read shit.

00:15:09.000 Okay, down here.

00:15:10.000 There we go.

00:15:11.000 I understand you're upset.

00:15:12.000 This kind of shit is tough.

00:15:14.000 I never told you I was clean.

00:15:15.000 I told you I may or may not have given this to you.

00:15:17.000 I'm sorry.

00:15:17.000 He knows all this is going to be public one day.

00:15:19.000 You can tell by the way it's written.

00:15:21.000 We all share the current human bloodstream, which includes this kind of stuff.

00:15:25.000 I should have worn a condom.

00:15:26.000 You should have made me.

00:15:27.000 We should have a lot of things.

00:15:29.000 We are human.

00:15:30.000 Our generation has this stuff.

00:15:32.000 So what was it?

00:15:34.000 I don't know.

00:15:35.000 I feel like it's something permanent.

00:15:36.000 If it was syphilis, it wouldn't be an army.

00:15:38.000 Syphilis is nothing.

00:15:40.000 This is why I'm so anti-condom.

00:15:41.000 Syphilis is nothing.

00:15:43.000 Gonorrhea is nothing.

00:15:44.000 Crabs are nothing.

00:15:45.000 Chlamydia is nothing.

00:15:47.000 Those are all either shampoo or fucking antibiotics.

00:15:50.000 The only bad one is herpes.

00:15:51.000 And herpes, you get a bad outbreak, then you get another bad one six months later.

00:15:56.000 And then the time between them keeps doubling.

00:15:59.000 So you have one one year, then you have another one two years, then you have another one four years, and then you get them like every 10 years.

00:16:05.000 Now, you get a little cold sore here when you're really stressed out.

00:16:08.000 They'll suck, but they're not as bad as a hemorrhoid or a canker or other shitty stuff in your life.

00:16:15.000 So condom shmanams, just pull out and jizz on her butt.

00:16:20.000 And don't tell me that you can't do that.

00:16:22.000 And don't talk to me about pre-come.

00:16:24.000 You take it out and you jerk it for a bit, and then you just pearl necklace her.

00:16:28.000 Yes.

00:16:28.000 That's what you do.

00:16:30.000 And well, I don't want to get STDs.

00:16:32.000 Yeah, don't fuck skanks.

00:16:34.000 That's how he got this STD.

00:16:35.000 He fucked skanks.

00:16:37.000 And when I was in Montreal, I was fucking skanks.

00:16:39.000 And I have herpes.

00:16:41.000 I haven't had an outbreak in years, but I've had herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, venereal warts.

00:16:47.000 I had venereal warts, but we would blast them with liquid nitrogen.

00:16:54.000 I'm fine.

00:16:57.000 They're gone.

00:16:58.000 You've offended Italians.

00:16:59.000 They're all curable.

00:17:00.000 That's the thing.

00:17:00.000 Herpes is the only incurable one.

00:17:03.000 That and babies.

00:17:05.000 But I want to see what STD it is.

00:17:07.000 I know.

00:17:10.000 Oh, the next grenade will be inoculated.

00:17:12.000 I know there's a cure for venereal warts.

00:17:15.000 I bet he gave her venereal warts.

00:17:18.000 For our chemistry in exchange.

00:17:20.000 And wonders if anyone is clean.

00:17:21.000 I've been told the same thing that there's no good tests for guys and even that condoms don't stop shit.

00:17:25.000 That's true.

00:17:26.000 Because if she has venereal warts.

00:17:29.000 You're on her labia, right?

00:17:30.000 When you go in, there's always that space where the condom doesn't go right to the base.

00:17:34.000 So it goes around the bottom, especially if you're well-hung like me.

00:17:38.000 The lips go around the bottom and they touch the actual dinkle-doodle.

00:17:41.000 Chillo, you've got a bass.

00:17:47.000 I think you're right, though.

00:17:49.000 It's the worts.

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:51.000 He's writing a PR release, by the way, when he's emailing her.

00:17:54.000 Yeah, isn't that weird?

00:17:54.000 That's a phenomenon that's happening right now, that people are talking through the people they're talking to and speaking to the world.

00:18:00.000 Yeah.

00:18:01.000 We were just watching a sovereign citizen.

00:18:03.000 His hands were 10 and 2 on the thing, and he was like, my name is Mibe.

00:18:07.000 I am a sovereign citizen.

00:18:08.000 I am just traveling.

00:18:10.000 And then we thought how funny it would be if Mitch Hedberg was a sovereign citizen.

00:18:13.000 I am just traveling.

00:18:14.000 I'm a citizen.

00:18:16.000 What nationality are you?

00:18:17.000 A U.S. citizen cannot enforce laws.

00:18:22.000 But you could tell the cop who was talking to him was well aware he was being recorded, and he was well aware other sovereign citizens are going to see this.

00:18:29.000 So he was like doing a PSA for his district and for cops in general through this guy, through his fucking phone, and into our ears.

00:18:38.000 So a lot of the times when you're hearing shit these days, it's PSAs.

00:18:42.000 When I text and stuff, I'm well aware the feds are checking my phone.

00:18:46.000 So I say things to them.

00:18:48.000 Same with emails.

00:18:50.000 Thank you very much for your message.

00:18:51.000 I strongly disagree.

00:18:53.000 However, I understand that you...

00:18:55.000 Roger Stone is not like that.

00:18:57.000 Roger Stone's just like, go fuck yourself.

00:18:59.000 I will kill your dog.

00:19:02.000 You're a faggot.

00:19:05.000 Still, even after all these court cases.

00:19:07.000 Dude, it makes a really fun court.

00:19:09.000 Oh, my God.

00:19:09.000 We were in court listening to like, I mean, then Mr. Stone said, and it was some bonkers shit, and I was like, this is awesome.

00:19:15.000 You'll be like, I don't know about this woman.

00:19:16.000 I think she's not trustworthy.

00:19:18.000 She's a fucking whore.

00:19:19.000 She needs her kids' tits cut off and thrown on the road.

00:19:24.000 Okay, so you're not a fan.

00:19:27.000 I'm leaving you guys' rights on camera.

00:19:30.000 That's 2000.

00:19:32.000 And it will be on eight or nine cameras at this point.

00:19:35.000 Okay?

00:19:36.000 So I know that you're a rational guy.

00:19:39.000 You want to be able to present your case.

00:19:41.000 I've already informed you that this is not the proper venue to make that case, right?

00:19:48.000 We have the laws that we function by.

00:19:50.000 You wish to change these things or you wish to subscribe to your own based on your beliefs, but those are not things that get argued.

00:19:56.000 He burps.

00:19:57.000 See, that's the PSA.

00:19:59.000 The cop was talking to us.

00:20:00.000 He was not relevant.

00:20:01.000 So we don't know what SCD he has?

00:20:04.000 I haven't really tried to dig for it.

00:20:06.000 Go to the top.

00:20:07.000 Say here.

00:20:10.000 Let's see.

00:20:11.000 Vaginas.

00:20:13.000 Top of vaginas.

00:20:13.000 Topity top.

00:20:14.000 Topity.

00:20:14.000 No, not the top.

00:20:15.000 This is one article.

00:20:16.000 Yeah, I know them.

00:20:17.000 And then this is the other one.

00:20:17.000 Okay, I'm looking for the opening paragraph of the one where he looks hot.

00:20:21.000 I don't think the article exists.

00:20:23.000 Series of emails.

00:20:24.000 Emails are part of a trove of documents, blah, blah, blah.

00:20:27.000 Sexual text messages.

00:20:28.000 Ooh.

00:20:29.000 Whoa, we fell under fraudster restaurant tour.

00:20:32.000 So she's kind of a polarized, polarizing figure, too, huh?

00:20:37.000 Oh, okay.

00:20:38.000 That's nice.

00:20:39.000 I didn't know that.

00:20:39.000 I couldn't care less.

00:20:40.000 I just want to know what the STD is.

00:20:43.000 An STD.

00:20:45.000 Yeah.

00:20:46.000 Ah, fuck.

00:20:48.000 Let's see the sex messages.

00:20:52.000 Did you say you could read one and you felt bad?

00:20:54.000 No, that email thing that I felt weird reading it.

00:20:57.000 Because it was like...

00:20:59.000 I want to hear how Louis C.K. Talks Dirty.

00:21:01.000 We all seriously.

00:21:02.000 I can't really imagine it.

00:21:05.000 The one flirt is this one.

00:21:06.000 My brain has thoughts about you in it.

00:21:08.000 Somewhere between 27 and 93 and a half.

00:21:11.000 And that's kind of cringe.

00:21:12.000 Or it's cute.

00:21:13.000 Yeah.

00:21:13.000 I think it's cringe, but it's okay.

00:21:16.000 No, I want like, I want to eat your ass.

00:21:20.000 Your ass is very edible.

00:21:21.000 I was listening to Jodi Arias.

00:21:23.000 You know, the woman who stabbed her boyfriend to death?

00:21:25.000 They played her sexts in the courtroom.

00:21:29.000 And he's like, you're listening to a dead man have phone sex in the courtroom.

00:21:35.000 And he's like, I'm not really a toss your salad kind of guy, but your ass is just like so perfect.

00:21:44.000 You're the ultimate slut in bed.

00:21:47.000 They played out the messages.

00:21:49.000 You could hear them.

00:21:49.000 And then they play them masturbating in the courtroom.

00:21:52.000 And you hear her like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:21:57.000 And the families are there.

00:21:58.000 They're all just kind of going, what the f- That is so creepy.

00:22:03.000 Yeah, it's bizarre.

00:22:04.000 Whoa, confused.

00:22:06.000 Aries cannot offer explanation as to why Alexander wanted her to wear boys' Spider-Man underwear while they had sex.

00:22:12.000 Okay.

00:22:13.000 It all comes out in the wash.

00:22:15.000 My God, how uncomfortable.

00:22:16.000 And then they finally showed the body cam footage of George Floyd in the Chauvin trial.

00:22:21.000 I just saw something about that.

00:22:23.000 On Shizmobbin, actually.

00:22:24.000 Yeah, that's on my notes.

00:22:25.000 Don't worry.

00:22:25.000 We got a lot to do.

00:22:26.000 A lot to do.

00:22:28.000 All right, just before we say in this message, you are the ultimate flood of that.

00:22:39.000 I want to blow enormous loads.

00:22:41.000 Is there some history behind that?

00:22:43.000 Is there some history behind that?

00:22:46.000 Yeah.

00:22:46.000 I would imagine she's blown him in the past.

00:22:49.000 Sometimes he would call me that when we were having sex.

00:22:53.000 What is their nationality?

00:22:55.000 Jewish, Mexican, or something?

00:22:56.000 Is that one of those things that made you feel special or how did you feel when I'm talking about audio?

00:23:05.000 Anyway, let's start the show, dude.

00:23:07.000 Before we abandon Ryan T. Anderson, when I was looking at that book, when I was reading it, I was like, this is it's got everything in it.

00:23:17.000 This is all the facts.

00:23:18.000 This could end this whole stupid trans thing for the world.

00:23:22.000 They would all wake up.

00:23:24.000 It's two and two is four right there for you.

00:23:27.000 And that's never going to happen.

00:23:29.000 And it just gets frustrating.

00:23:31.000 Like George Floyd, we know what happened.

00:23:34.000 We know he OD'd.

00:23:35.000 America, 99% of the left and a lot of the right thinks that he was asphyxiated.

00:23:41.000 They closed his throat with their knee.

00:23:44.000 He couldn't breathe.

00:23:45.000 He died.

00:23:45.000 There shouldn't even be a trial, as Chelsea Handler said.

00:23:48.000 And if he gets innocent, found innocent, riots in the streets.

00:23:55.000 You know what they should do as a judge?

00:23:57.000 Come up with something like, guilty, guilty of manslaughter, guilty, 10 years.

00:24:03.000 And then have some little caveat like, but could be released in nine and a half.

00:24:08.000 Fine print.

00:24:10.000 Yeah.

00:24:10.000 For good behavior, could get out in 9.9 years.

00:24:13.000 Yeah.

00:24:15.000 And then once the media's died down, he'd like tiptoes out the back door.

00:24:18.000 I got out 9.9.

00:24:20.000 The people that would write would not stick around for those sorts of whispered details, too.

00:24:24.000 They'd be like, headline.

00:24:26.000 But then they'd see him on the streets.

00:24:28.000 Aren't you Derek Chauvin?

00:24:31.000 All right, so that's all we got for Louie.

00:24:34.000 But yeah, look at this tweet from Padmar Lakshmi.

00:24:37.000 She's the one who would, on Top Chef, she'd talk about you can win a subscription to Food and Wine magazine.

00:24:43.000 She ran a food show, and she pronounced the word food, food.

00:24:47.000 It was so irritating.

00:24:49.000 Food and wine, what's food?

00:24:52.000 If you can't accept your child for who they're telling you they are, then you have no business being a parent.

00:24:57.000 All right, my son is going to be in the MLB, according to him.

00:25:01.000 What's your plan B?

00:25:03.000 He goes, there is no plan B. I'm going to be in the MLB.

00:25:06.000 I'm going to be in the Mets.

00:25:08.000 Okay.

00:25:09.000 So I might as well take him out of school and just work on his arm, hope he doesn't get Tommy John, you know, develop his strengths, just do drills, move to Arizona, right?

00:25:21.000 That's what he said.

00:25:23.000 My other boy, my youngest boy, said he's going to be a gamer.

00:25:26.000 Okay, well, let's get him focused on gaming then and start his adult life as a gamer.

00:25:32.000 My daughter, I think she wants to be a fashion designer or an artist or something.

00:25:35.000 Okay.

00:25:36.000 Let's get you to fucking, what's that fashion school in New York by Cumia Studio?

00:25:42.000 F-Tech or F-I-T?

00:25:44.000 Sounds like FIT, right?

00:25:46.000 Yeah.

00:25:47.000 Go back, go back.

00:25:51.000 PSA.

00:25:52.000 Gender used to describe characteristics that are socially constructed.

00:25:56.000 Encompasses a range of identities.

00:25:58.000 Sex, a label Initially assigned by a doctor at birth, sexual orientation, emotional, romantic, or what are you doing?

00:26:07.000 You cut me off, or sexual attraction to other people.

00:26:12.000 Okay, we know what those are, but you're wrong about gender.

00:26:16.000 Go up.

00:26:17.000 Maybe this is just the core of the mistake.

00:26:19.000 Gender used to describe characteristics that are socially constructed.

00:26:23.000 That's just wrong.

00:26:25.000 That's really what we're disagreeing on.

00:26:28.000 You say that gender is separate from sex and we don't.

00:26:32.000 Gender expression, sure, you can make up that word.

00:26:35.000 I'm fine with that.

00:26:36.000 Non-binary.

00:26:37.000 Yeah, yeah, sure.

00:26:38.000 Have your fucking gay terms.

00:26:39.000 You're literally gay terms.

00:26:43.000 Keep going.

00:26:45.000 Folks taking her point to extreme absurdity are just contributing to transphobia.

00:26:50.000 What's the matter with transphobia?

00:26:52.000 Remember how much trouble I got in for saying it's perfectly natural?

00:26:55.000 It freaks me out.

00:26:56.000 The operation gives me nightmares.

00:26:59.000 And if my dad showed up as Jemiah, I would be very fucking scared.

00:27:08.000 In fact, when my mom has hen nights, the Scots call them, my dad comes downstairs dressed as a woman.

00:27:15.000 And the women laugh so fucking hard that their mascara stains our carpets.

00:27:21.000 So it's weird and it's funny.

00:27:23.000 All right.

00:27:24.000 My friend recorded this gender dysphoria video, this PSA that they're sending around, and it's pretty bananas.

00:27:30.000 Maybe to do a green screen about it or something, but here's a little sneak peek.

00:27:34.000 What is gender?

00:27:36.000 Now, you will watch a video about gender.

00:27:39.000 The video is audio described for people who are blind.

00:27:42.000 This is so annoying, too.

00:27:43.000 It throws balloons for the blind people.

00:27:45.000 You're going to take two minutes to talk about gender.

00:27:48.000 Oh, this has nothing to do with me.

00:27:49.000 Well, actually, gender does not be.

00:27:51.000 Look at that monster in the front.

00:27:53.000 Look at that thing.

00:27:55.000 It's never a feminine man, too.

00:27:57.000 It's always a linebacker.

00:28:00.000 Outside of maybe Blair White, somehow the conservative ones seem to be the most feminine.

00:28:04.000 But look at that beast.

00:28:06.000 Like, I don't care how out of shape he is.

00:28:08.000 If I heard that he was coming to fight me, I'd be like, okay, I cannot be hungover today.

00:28:13.000 I got to be in good shape.

00:28:15.000 I got to wake up, have a good breakfast, do some jumping jacks.

00:28:20.000 This is it.

00:28:21.000 Come on.

00:28:21.000 You got this.

00:28:22.000 Don't blackout.

00:28:24.000 Not to me.

00:28:25.000 Hold on.

00:28:26.000 Everyone has a relationship with gender.

00:28:28.000 Whether you've thought about gender a little or a lot, it has impacted you.

00:28:32.000 She looks like a cute bear.

00:28:34.000 She looks like the Charmin bear.

00:28:36.000 You know the toilet paper bears?

00:28:38.000 Yes, you know.

00:28:38.000 She makes me want to wipe my ass.

00:28:40.000 You are named.

00:28:42.000 What clothes you wear?

00:28:43.000 That guy looks like electricity.

00:28:47.000 Oh my.

00:28:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:48.000 Well, I was going to reference Spider-Man, but jobs you can do.

00:28:53.000 And you get the point.

00:28:55.000 Yep, every single person watching this video has been taught about gender from the very beginning.

00:29:00.000 So stop.

00:29:01.000 You understand the implication there that women make better nurses and men make better construction workers.

00:29:06.000 That's probably because women make better nurses and men make better construction workers.

00:29:11.000 You should have seen the fucking thing at my gym.

00:29:13.000 They were loading in.

00:29:14.000 They were loading in.

00:29:15.000 It looked like septic tanks, but it wasn't.

00:29:17.000 It was the Con Ed boxes.

00:29:20.000 40,000 pounds.

00:29:22.000 Like as big as the studio, cement.

00:29:24.000 And they're lifting it off of a truck.

00:29:25.000 I don't know how the truck's tires can handle that.

00:29:28.000 It was as big as the studio.

00:29:30.000 It was the foundation of a very, very small home.

00:29:34.000 And they were lifting it up, putting it in this hole they had dug for it.

00:29:39.000 That's man's work.

00:29:43.000 The time-lapse of the German highway repair that we saw.

00:29:47.000 That was one of the first shows.

00:29:48.000 Do you know how shitty she'd be at construction?

00:29:50.000 Stick to toilet paper, Charmin.

00:29:52.000 She looks like she could do some good destruction.

00:29:58.000 Brainwashed into thinking that men make better green berets and women are better caregivers.

00:30:04.000 This turn really bothers.

00:30:05.000 From birth.

00:30:06.000 This CeeLo Green style turn she does, it bothers me.

00:30:09.000 From birth.

00:30:10.000 We like to define people, right?

00:30:12.000 So when people are born, society defines them by blacks overact.

00:30:17.000 It's just a thing.

00:30:18.000 Listen to the vision of men.

00:30:20.000 Wait, I have to see that turn again.

00:30:21.000 It's the most overacted turn that's ever been done in the world.

00:30:26.000 In history.

00:30:29.000 In the very beginning, from birth.

00:30:32.000 We like to define people, right?

00:30:34.000 So when people are born, the moon walk away to looking at their reproductive organs and labels them male or female.

00:30:43.000 It's a girl.

00:30:44.000 Well, actually, it's more complicated than that.

00:30:47.000 No.

00:30:47.000 Gender can be broken down into the world.

00:30:49.000 It might be a lesbian one day.

00:30:52.000 Odds are one in a hundred it becomes a lesbian.

00:30:55.000 The majority of people in our world identify as cisgender, sometimes without us even knowing it.

00:31:01.000 Cis means I identify with the gender I was assigned at birth.

00:31:04.000 When I was born, hate that I know that.

00:31:07.000 It's a girl.

00:31:08.000 And I still identify that.

00:31:08.000 Hate that I'm familiar with this fucking horse shit.

00:31:12.000 It's like being astrology.

00:31:15.000 If someone said to me, yeah, well, that's the thing about Aquariuses, they're obsessed with order, and you knew that, I'd be so mad at your brain.

00:31:21.000 You're like, how do you know such shit?

00:31:25.000 Hi, I'm Tamara.

00:31:26.000 Hi, you're a fag.

00:31:27.000 So when I was a baby, man holds a blue blanket.

00:31:31.000 It's a boy.

00:31:33.000 It is a boy.

00:31:34.000 Away the blanket.

00:31:35.000 It's a gay boy.

00:31:37.000 Man holds a blue blanket.

00:31:38.000 Careful, you're going to shock that baby, Electricity.

00:31:41.000 Aww, it's a boy.

00:31:44.000 Tamara pulls away the blanket, revealing a pink one now.

00:31:48.000 That doesn't infuriate you.

00:31:49.000 It infuriates me.

00:31:50.000 Okay, go ahead.

00:31:51.000 Takes away the blue blanket to show a pink one.

00:31:53.000 I'm a trans woman.

00:31:54.000 For the blind, for the two blind people.

00:31:56.000 You're not even a weird gay.

00:31:58.000 You're like the most normal gay.

00:31:59.000 I don't know what's going on with your tits, but you're just a normal gay.

00:32:03.000 And by the way, if we're talking about weirdos, why are they including normal people?

00:32:07.000 Hi, I'm a white male who was born cis, and I'm not trans or gay.

00:32:11.000 Okay.

00:32:12.000 Bye.

00:32:15.000 You're not confusing anybody.

00:32:16.000 Well, you don't know if they're straight yet.

00:32:17.000 I actually did learn something from this, so that's the gender, but the sexuality.

00:32:22.000 So this is the cis man.

00:32:23.000 I've discussed this eight seconds ago with Padmar Lakshmi, Ryan.

00:32:25.000 But he's not straight.

00:32:28.000 You assumed that.

00:32:30.000 So you can't assume sexuality.

00:32:32.000 I'm gay.

00:32:33.000 Hi, I'm Bailey.

00:32:35.000 People surround Bailey with pink.

00:32:37.000 And I'm also a man, even though I was assigned female at birth.

00:32:40.000 People tear away pink to reveal blue.

00:32:44.000 No, you're not.

00:32:44.000 You're a woman who took so many fucking drugs that hairs came out of your chin.

00:32:50.000 Oh my god, look at the deranged homosexual in the background with the ribbon on his head.

00:32:54.000 Oh, wow.

00:32:54.000 Oh, that thing.

00:32:55.000 Oh my god.

00:32:56.000 That's coming up.

00:32:57.000 Fred Armison will be speaking soon.

00:32:58.000 Imagine you hire a babysitter or a new nanny and that shows up.

00:33:02.000 Hi, I'm here to take care of your children.

00:33:06.000 We actually, our dinner reservations got canceled.

00:33:10.000 The restaurant exploded.

00:33:11.000 So go back to that lesbian freak.

00:33:13.000 That thing's name is C. What the fuck have you done to yourself?

00:33:16.000 Her poor parents.

00:33:18.000 She cut her tits off, too.

00:33:19.000 I'll tear away pink to reveal a trans man.

00:33:22.000 Hi, I'm C. Okay, now these two, this is common.

00:33:26.000 This is probably 90% of the trans movement.

00:33:28.000 And it is boring normies who have nothing to offer, no color.

00:33:34.000 And instead of accepting that, maybe trying to inject their own color, they just assume a new identity.

00:33:39.000 I'm not boring.

00:33:40.000 I'm a freak.

00:33:42.000 I'm like a new kind of gender.

00:33:45.000 Now all of a sudden I'm interesting.

00:33:46.000 No, you got to earn your interestingness.

00:33:49.000 You got to have a shitty job.

00:33:51.000 You got to work in sanitation.

00:33:53.000 You got to travel.

00:33:54.000 You have to have suffered.

00:33:56.000 It's grit that makes you interesting.

00:33:58.000 It's experience that makes you interesting.

00:34:01.000 Go do a cop ride along.

00:34:03.000 Go work on the railroads.

00:34:04.000 Go fucking hitchhike in Afghanistan.

00:34:07.000 Actually, I'd love it if you would hitchhike in Taliban-occupied territory.

00:34:11.000 Maybe you can teach them about trends while you're there.

00:34:13.000 But go experience life.

00:34:15.000 You can't just go, I'm interesting because I fucking shaved my head.

00:34:18.000 Do a trust fall in Syria.

00:34:20.000 I made up some terms.

00:34:21.000 You don't even know how to make spaghetti.

00:34:24.000 You haven't lived.

00:34:26.000 I don't know what happened with my voice there.

00:34:28.000 You haven't?

00:34:28.000 Look at that freak.

00:34:30.000 I'm C. That's the linebacker I was talking about.

00:34:32.000 Look at this weird, chubby lesbian.

00:34:34.000 How come they're never normal men?

00:34:36.000 These look like trailer park pedophiles.

00:34:39.000 Fucking trailer park pedophiles.

00:34:41.000 Trans man.

00:34:42.000 Hi, I'm C. Hi, I'm C. See, if that guy with the beard was your buddy, he'd be known in the group as the most ladylike dude in the history of dudes.

00:34:51.000 You'd probably call him Lady.

00:34:53.000 That would be his nickname.

00:34:54.000 Yeah, we're going to go to the driver's lady's going to be there.

00:34:56.000 A bunch of guys.

00:34:58.000 Female at first.

00:34:59.000 Hi, I'm a normal dude.

00:35:00.000 I like motorcycles, and if you fart and you don't say safety, I'll beat the shit out of you until you can name five breakfast cereals.

00:35:07.000 I love looking at chicks, and I love fingering them.

00:35:10.000 I used to say smelling the ass is a poor man's Viagra because you get so disgusted with yourself for getting a bone.

00:35:15.000 Well, I don't get a boner.

00:35:16.000 I have a vagina.

00:35:16.000 But besides that, I'm a total dude.

00:35:19.000 I'm C. Hi, I'm Lindsay.

00:35:21.000 Hi, I'm Bill Maher.

00:35:23.000 And you're non-binary.

00:35:24.000 Hey, new rule.

00:35:25.000 Gender.

00:35:26.000 For me, that means I don't identify as either a woman or a man.

00:35:31.000 I'm just a boring chick.

00:35:32.000 I'm a gay.

00:35:33.000 You're a gay.

00:35:34.000 There's already a category for you.

00:35:36.000 And for me, that means I don't identify with a gender at all.

00:35:39.000 Lindsay tossed me.

00:35:39.000 You're a chick.

00:35:41.000 You're a boring chick who has no life experience, zero grit, zero to offer.

00:35:47.000 You're just a girl.

00:35:48.000 Your tattoo doesn't make you interesting, and lying doesn't make you interesting.

00:35:51.000 And hey, gay nerd that doesn't get invited to any fun gay parties, you're just a boring faggot.

00:35:59.000 Lindsay tosses balloons.

00:36:01.000 Okay, but I'm confused.

00:36:02.000 I mean, what should be gender and sexuality?

00:36:05.000 So is everybody in this video?

00:36:06.000 Sexuality.

00:36:07.000 Oh, I know.

00:36:08.000 Sexuality is about who you're attracted to.

00:36:11.000 Yes.

00:36:12.000 So are you gay?

00:36:13.000 Nope.

00:36:14.000 Gender and sexuality are both part of our identities, but they're kind of...

00:36:17.000 I love that they're such experts, too.

00:36:19.000 You see the way that guy said, yep.

00:36:21.000 All right, that's enough of that video.

00:36:22.000 I've had enough.

00:36:24.000 Yep.

00:36:25.000 You're getting it now.

00:36:26.000 You're getting our made-up science that we just pulled out of our asses.

00:36:29.000 All right, fun.

00:36:29.000 It's about time.

00:36:30.000 It's now taught in schools.

00:36:33.000 Feud.

00:36:35.000 Barstool was just defending themselves against Michael Rappaport because he tried to sue them for defamation.

00:36:43.000 Defamation.

00:36:43.000 Now, let me tell you about Michael Rappaport.

00:36:45.000 He moved to L.A. when he was 19.

00:36:49.000 He lived in New York for 20 years.

00:36:51.000 I've lived in New York for 21 years.

00:36:53.000 I am more of a New Yorker than him.

00:36:55.000 He is a fucking poser.

00:36:57.000 Also, when you move somewhere when you're 19 and you're now whatever the fuck he is, 50, your accent doesn't follow you for 30 years, especially at that young age.

00:37:07.000 So his tough guy, Brooklyn, Beastie Boys accent with his Yankees hat on.

00:37:13.000 It's all an affectation.

00:37:15.000 It's like Shane McGowan's Irish accent.

00:37:17.000 It's fake.

00:37:18.000 You're an LA dude.

00:37:19.000 Your daddy bought you a career.

00:37:21.000 He ran a comedy club.

00:37:22.000 He put you on stage.

00:37:24.000 He got you gigs.

00:37:25.000 He got you movies.

00:37:27.000 And now you play this tough guy New Yorker who handles conflict the way everyone in LA does.

00:37:32.000 They just call their lawyers.

00:37:34.000 You sick your Jews on them.

00:37:37.000 So you're a fucking LA cheeseball through and through.

00:37:42.000 Anyway, he was having a back and forth with Dave Rapp with Dave Portnoy.

00:37:46.000 And Dave Portnoy ate the lawyers alive in the, what do you call these things again?

00:37:52.000 Deposition?

00:37:53.000 Deposition.

00:37:54.000 Ate them alive.

00:37:55.000 Look, he's not even wearing a suit.

00:37:57.000 This reminds me, by the way, of our appeal thing, which we should make free on the site, where the judges got Max and John confused.

00:38:05.000 These guys didn't even understand the timeline.

00:38:07.000 They're like, wait a minute, you made a shirt of Michael Rappaport being a douche.

00:38:12.000 You should probably look up the shirt.

00:38:13.000 I don't know what the shirt looked like.

00:38:15.000 Looked like.

00:38:18.000 But what was it again?

00:38:20.000 Michael Rappaport.

00:38:21.000 The guy we've been talking about?

00:38:23.000 His shirt?

00:38:23.000 Shirt barstool.

00:38:30.000 So I guess his lawyers thought that the shirt came out of nowhere?

00:38:34.000 Yeah, that was it.

00:38:36.000 He's a clown.

00:38:37.000 Oh, and he had a big herpetic sore in his chin once.

00:38:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:40.000 So they exaggerate that.

00:38:43.000 Yeah, why are you going out getting photographed with a herpetic sore bleeding out of his chest?

00:38:46.000 That looks like the most unwell man.

00:38:49.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:38:51.000 I don't know, dude.

00:38:53.000 He just yells, right?

00:38:54.000 Fucking slime ball piece of shit, fucking mook.

00:38:58.000 He's one of these loudest, funny guys.

00:39:00.000 He's got his rocky hat with his sweatshirt.

00:39:02.000 That's such like a 90s New York thing.

00:39:04.000 The sweatshirt with the blazer.

00:39:07.000 He's such a fucking flake poser pussy.

00:39:11.000 He's like Robert De Niro.

00:39:12.000 Hey, I'm a tough guy.

00:39:14.000 You know, my dad was a gay poet and I went to drama school my whole life and hung out with artists.

00:39:19.000 You know, like all the tough guys.

00:39:20.000 I'm a wise guy.

00:39:22.000 No, you played one on TV.

00:39:25.000 The people in general hospital are not doctors.

00:39:28.000 So go to the, well, first there's the judge tossing it, right?

00:39:32.000 Tossing the salad.

00:39:34.000 Like Jodi Arris's butthole.

00:39:37.000 Call me pussy repaports.

00:39:38.000 No, that's not it.

00:39:39.000 That's not it.

00:39:39.000 It says, judge tosses it 1-1.

00:39:44.000 Yep, that is the link.

00:39:46.000 Judge tosses Michael Rappaport's defamation suit against Barstool Sports.

00:39:50.000 And then you can watch when it happened exactly at the deposition where Porter had to explain to Rappaport's lawyers, no, the clown face was a reaction to him constantly attacking us and defaming me.

00:40:03.000 How are you going to talk about defamation when I'm just fighting back?

00:40:09.000 Call me pussy repeatedly and then made pictures of himself having sex with me from behind.

00:40:14.000 That's when I put the shirt on sale.

00:40:15.000 So it's the exact opposite of what you insinuated.

00:40:18.000 I see what you're saying.

00:40:19.000 Okay.

00:40:21.000 That went well.

00:40:23.000 I love that guy.

00:40:25.000 Call me pussy repeatedly.

00:40:26.000 He keeps getting better.

00:40:27.000 And I love how he's so unapologetic about everything.

00:40:29.000 That's why people hate Barstool Sports.

00:40:33.000 Look at Rap's lawyer.

00:40:39.000 Barstool Sports is just dudes.

00:40:41.000 Saturdays are for the bros.

00:40:44.000 And people don't like the bros.

00:40:47.000 That's why Proud Boys got in so much trouble because they dared be pro-bro.

00:40:52.000 And I was raised that way too.

00:40:54.000 In the 80s, it was very like Square Pegs was a big show.

00:40:57.000 And you're supposed to be the underdog, the nerd ducky from 16 Candles, played by the two and a half men dude.

00:41:04.000 It was all the jocks suck and school spirits lame and cheerleaders are dumb bitches.

00:41:09.000 And we were raised to think that way.

00:41:11.000 And then I got to meet mainstream dudes and they're fucking great guys.

00:41:16.000 They're just like my old punk friends, but without mohawks.

00:41:20.000 Here's a great example of this.

00:41:21.000 Check out this montage of barstool bros golfing.

00:41:25.000 And ladies, this is what you're missing when you extinguish masculinity.

00:41:29.000 This is all we're trying to do.

00:41:35.000 Welcome, everyone.

00:41:36.000 Ray Whitney, my long-lost cousin, and Mike Commodore.

00:41:39.000 And let me tell you right now, we're five and one.

00:41:41.000 We're looking to make it six and one.

00:41:42.000 Let's go.

00:41:44.000 Horse looks amazing.

00:41:46.000 My clap wasn't lagging.

00:41:48.000 I could watch it.

00:41:49.000 This hole sucks, fucking joke.

00:41:53.000 You missed me.

00:41:55.000 Yes.

00:41:56.000 Fuck yourself, Ryan.

00:41:57.000 Matrix, Matrix.

00:42:00.000 I'm alive.

00:42:01.000 I'm alive.

00:42:03.000 I know he ain't fucking making it.

00:42:05.000 It's insulting.

00:42:05.000 Insulting?

00:42:06.000 A thousand points.

00:42:07.000 You'd think they'd be giving that one up.

00:42:08.000 Can you hold the branch?

00:42:09.000 No, it's illegal.

00:42:10.000 Hey, if that's okay, Biz, I'm just going to get somebody to chop this tree down before I get it.

00:42:15.000 You got a Canadian.

00:42:17.000 No, I didn't touch it.

00:42:18.000 Anytime, anytime.

00:42:20.000 Wow.

00:42:22.000 Look at that shot.

00:42:25.000 Oh, Margo.

00:42:26.000 That's funny.

00:42:31.000 That gives me a boner.

00:42:32.000 I'm gay for men minus the sex.

00:42:37.000 There's this cool app you can get.

00:42:38.000 I think it's like 500 bucks, though.

00:42:39.000 Some guy at the driving range told me about it, or I asked him what he had on his thing.

00:42:43.000 And it's a little thing that you put your phone in and you hit the ball and it traces the ball just like that thing we just saw with the neon.

00:42:52.000 It traces your ball.

00:42:53.000 It tells you exactly how fast your ball was going and exactly how far it went.

00:42:58.000 500 bucks seems a little rich, though.

00:43:01.000 Yeah, damn.

00:43:02.000 Damn.

00:43:03.000 That's stupid money.

00:43:06.000 Remember when Rapper Paul got bitched out by that dude?

00:43:10.000 He tried to interview him and then he was like, no, shut up.

00:43:14.000 He was like, oh, he just told me to.

00:43:17.000 Oh, yeah, no, he put his arm around a basketball player.

00:43:20.000 And he's like, yo, what would you do if I told you that this was bullshitting with the flat threads, yo?

00:43:26.000 Yeah.

00:43:26.000 And he was like, fuck off.

00:43:28.000 Yeah.

00:43:28.000 Faggot.

00:43:29.000 Oh, I'll throw them hands.

00:43:29.000 He's like, he just said he would throw hands.

00:43:32.000 He's this guy.

00:43:34.000 He loves to joke around.

00:43:35.000 He's basically the office guy.

00:43:38.000 Michael Michael Scott?

00:43:41.000 Michael Scott.

00:43:42.000 He thinks that people like him.

00:43:45.000 Kevin Durant DM'd him, calling him a bitch and a faggot or something.

00:43:50.000 And then Rappaport puts that out and tattles on him to get him in trouble.

00:43:56.000 He's like, look at these DMs.

00:43:57.000 You're fucking...

00:43:59.000 Well, let me see what he said.

00:44:03.000 Let's see.

00:44:05.000 This really kills the momentum.

00:44:07.000 Loading, loading.

00:44:08.000 No, I don't care about DMs, Ryan.

00:44:10.000 I want to see the video.

00:44:11.000 Oh, that's a separate thing.

00:44:13.000 Now he's doing this.

00:44:14.000 So that was the old one where he would put his arm over him and he was like, I don't like you.

00:44:18.000 And now, you know, KD, one of the best, Kevin Durant, one of the best players out there right now, he told him he's a pasty, cum guzzling bitch.

00:44:29.000 And yada yada.

00:44:31.000 Uses some language, but it's a DM.

00:44:33.000 Cocksucker, yada yada.

00:44:36.000 He's fussy to go and make that.

00:44:37.000 And he fucking tattles on it.

00:44:39.000 Oh, now he wants to sue him.

00:44:42.000 Oh, you couldn't talk porn.

00:44:43.000 No, defamation of character.

00:44:45.000 All right.

00:44:47.000 Yeah.

00:44:47.000 But I want to see the video.

00:44:49.000 Find it now.

00:44:50.000 And while you find it, I will talk about Matt Getz.

00:44:54.000 So the allegation is that he was fucking a 17-year-old.

00:44:59.000 I think he's telling the truth when he says that's not true.

00:45:04.000 And the FBI came to me and came to my father and said, give me 25 million or I'm going to make this public.

00:45:13.000 Now, the thing I don't get about that kind of extortion is, am I stupid?

00:45:17.000 How do you get 25 million?

00:45:20.000 I know my bank would just say no.

00:45:22.000 And then my accountants would go, where's the 20, not that I have 25 million or maybe I do.

00:45:27.000 But the accounts are going to go, where's the 25 Million.

00:45:30.000 Oh, I had to pay an extortionist.

00:45:33.000 Well, how do we write that off?

00:45:35.000 Like, I don't understand.

00:45:37.000 I understand that you could scrape, go to your bank and maybe get 10K, but how do you get 25 million?

00:45:42.000 A wire transfer?

00:45:44.000 How does it work?

00:45:47.000 Anyway, you haven't fucking found it yet?

00:45:49.000 What are you doing?

00:45:50.000 Because I don't know the basketball player's name.

00:45:53.000 So you're looking in your email?

00:45:55.000 Yeah, because we would definitely have that specific link in our email.

00:45:58.000 So here's how you do your job, Ryan.

00:46:00.000 You go Rapaport Awkward Basketball in videos.

00:46:10.000 Going through old emails, that's embarrassing.

00:46:13.000 This is what has come up.

00:46:15.000 Wait.

00:46:17.000 Did you spell Rapaport correctly?

00:46:19.000 Correct.

00:46:21.000 Okay.

00:46:22.000 So maybe Rapaport Awkward.

00:46:28.000 Throw hands.

00:46:30.000 Yeah, I'm thinking there's a lot of things that I could do to try to get it, but I also thought the quickest way would be to go to our emails where we've shown it before.

00:46:37.000 And we've only covered Rapaport about three times, so I figured that was the smartest.

00:46:41.000 I don't know if we've shown it before.

00:46:42.000 Yeah.

00:46:43.000 Oh, yes.

00:46:44.000 Oh, yes.

00:46:45.000 All right.

00:46:45.000 So anyway, back to Getz.

00:46:47.000 So he, so they call the FBI immediately after this.

00:46:53.000 And the FBI says, well, wire up and get more details.

00:46:57.000 Get him to say how you're going to get him to 25 million, make a meeting spot, talk to him.

00:47:01.000 And he said, okay, and he wore a wire.

00:47:03.000 And then the left, especially Amy Siskin, that fucking see you next Tuesday, says, oh, your daddy says it's fine.

00:47:13.000 Well, no, that's not what he's saying.

00:47:14.000 He's saying this is an FBI investigation.

00:47:17.000 It's extortion.

00:47:18.000 And my dad is part of it.

00:47:20.000 He wore a wire.

00:47:22.000 No, you're lying.

00:47:24.000 I mean, Hunter Biden, nothing.

00:47:26.000 Did you get it in the email?

00:47:29.000 No, no, no.

00:47:33.000 I don't think we've covered this before.

00:47:36.000 I remember doing, yeah, yeah.

00:47:37.000 With the basketball.

00:47:38.000 Absolutely.

00:47:39.000 You don't remember episodes that you're in, like, from that day.

00:47:43.000 But I do remember you just started defining gender and sex after fucking Padma had just done it like eight minutes earlier.

00:47:53.000 Rappapore.

00:47:55.000 Rapapore basketball game?

00:47:57.000 It was at a basketball game, right?

00:48:00.000 Throw hands.

00:48:04.000 Maybe he got his lawyers to shut it all down.

00:48:08.000 It really was a brutally awkward moment.

00:48:10.000 It was severely awkward.

00:48:12.000 I'll keep looking for it.

00:48:13.000 But this Getz guy, Gates, I think it's pronounced.

00:48:17.000 I think it's Getz.

00:48:21.000 You don't watch the news.

00:48:22.000 Why would you know more about a pronunciation than me?

00:48:25.000 I don't know.

00:48:26.000 It's Matt Goetz.

00:48:27.000 Don't correct things on the show when you're wrong.

00:48:29.000 I've heard it both ways, but Gates, I've heard more.

00:48:32.000 On what?

00:48:34.000 Tim Poole, other shows.

00:48:37.000 Anyway, let's get the sh momentum going here.

00:48:39.000 I'm getting annoyed.

00:48:42.000 1-4.

00:48:43.000 The left has made up their minds.

00:48:46.000 Great, now I'm in a bad mood.

00:48:49.000 Gates, under fire tonight and on the defensive as the Department of Justice investigates his conduct with a 17-year-old girl.

00:48:57.000 It is a horrible allegation and it is a lie.

00:49:00.000 Gates 38 has not been true, but investigators have been scrutinizing him.

00:49:05.000 He paid for the girl's travel over state lines or provided anything of value in exchange for sex.

00:49:11.000 Potential violations of federal sex trafficking laws.

00:49:15.000 The person doesn't exist.

00:49:16.000 I have not had a relationship with a 17-year-old.

00:49:18.000 That is totally false.

00:49:20.000 Gates said allegations of impropriety were an attempt to criminalize his, quote, generosity to ex-girlfriends.

00:49:26.000 He also claims the accusations are part of a multi-million dollar extortion scheme.

00:49:32.000 Matt Gates is a great man, a great gentleman, in the future he has.

00:49:36.000 I don't know about Gates, a staunch conservative, is among former President Trump's most vocal and visible defenders.

00:49:42.000 Who are the left's biggest enemies right now?

00:49:45.000 Matt Gates and Ron DeSantis.

00:49:48.000 Who are commonly discussed as the most eligible next presidents after the Biden debacle, besides Kamala?

00:49:56.000 Gates and DeSantis.

00:49:58.000 So they become the targets.

00:50:00.000 You see, this is never about truth.

00:50:01.000 It's all about political strategy.

00:50:05.000 Hims of widespread voter fraud and defending him after the January 6th Capitol riot.

00:50:10.000 President Trump explicitly called for demonstrations and protests to be peaceful.

00:50:17.000 Gates is also linked to Joel Greenberg, seen here along with Trump ally Roger Stone.

00:50:22.000 Greenberg was indicted last summer for sex trafficking.

00:50:25.000 Today, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said Gates could lose his position on the Judiciary Committee if the allegations prove true.

00:50:33.000 Mr. Gates denies the story, but I look forward to talking to Mr. Gates.

00:50:36.000 I haven't heard anything from him.

00:50:38.000 No, not in this day and age.

00:50:39.000 It's guilty till proven innocent, which brings us to Chauvin, who's guilty.

00:50:44.000 Oh, by the way, we didn't talk about the post yet.

00:50:45.000 They didn't even call.

00:50:46.000 Remember that Asian girl who got beat up by that guy?

00:50:48.000 Right.

00:50:50.000 They didn't even call 911.

00:50:52.000 And the guy who did it killed his own mom.

00:50:56.000 He just got out of jail for killing his own mom.

00:50:59.000 What?

00:51:00.000 I found this cringey thing here.

00:51:02.000 I don't know what the hell.

00:51:03.000 Oh, there it is.

00:51:03.000 Coutinho mobile.

00:51:05.000 But it was just funny as fuck the food.

00:51:07.000 Please show the clip, my man.

00:51:12.000 Fuck.

00:51:13.000 You know what?

00:51:13.000 I'm sorry.

00:51:14.000 His stupidity.

00:51:16.000 I thought a person that would cover this would at least show the clip.

00:51:20.000 But people go to see videos of a guy.

00:51:22.000 I think his lawyer has gone nuts erasing the clip.

00:51:26.000 Here's an interesting article, Sound of Silence.

00:51:30.000 Lara Trump interviewed Donald Trump, and they cut it from Facebook and Instagram.

00:51:37.000 He's banned.

00:51:38.000 And interviewing him is banned.

00:51:39.000 It's the same with me, by the way.

00:51:41.000 AOC says that to talk about a border surge is white supremacist terminology.

00:51:47.000 And then more on our buddy, the kung fu guy.

00:51:50.000 See, Melissa Chen wrote it.

00:51:52.000 So because it's an Asian, they can actually show the guy.

00:51:54.000 And she's like, that Captain Underpants dude was helping them be warriors.

00:51:59.000 He was cool.

00:52:00.000 No, that's irrelevant.

00:52:02.000 And then the new Floyd vid, where the clerk at the store, where he bought a banana, said he seemed wasted.

00:52:10.000 Why did George Floyd buy a banana?

00:52:14.000 Potassium.

00:52:15.000 Nope.

00:52:16.000 Why?

00:52:17.000 I'll tell you why, because he was cleaning his dirty 20s, and the cheapest thing in a store is always a banana.

00:52:23.000 Oh, shit.

00:52:25.000 Yeah.

00:52:25.000 I had a really unfortunate moment with that where I was having my shoes shined at Chicago Airport.

00:52:32.000 And I went to give the guy, I think it was 10 bucks.

00:52:36.000 And I went to give him 20.

00:52:38.000 And I wanted to give him like a $5 tip, not a $10 tip.

00:52:41.000 And he goes, I don't have change.

00:52:43.000 I guess he was hoping for a $10 tip.

00:52:44.000 And I go, oh, shit.

00:52:46.000 Well, so I go, there's a little store next door.

00:52:49.000 We're right by the gate.

00:52:50.000 I go, can I get change for this $20?

00:52:52.000 They go, no, you have to buy something.

00:52:54.000 So I buy a banana that I don't want.

00:52:57.000 And I get my change.

00:52:58.000 And then I go and give him $15.

00:53:00.000 And then I think, I don't want a banana.

00:53:02.000 And then I go, oh, my God.

00:53:03.000 And I was like, do you?

00:53:08.000 You just shined my shoes, boy.

00:53:10.000 Here's a banana.

00:53:13.000 So I was like, no, what time is it?

00:53:17.000 I love these.

00:53:20.000 It's like at the gym when I said to Larry, if we fight, it's going to be like Godzilla versus King Kong.

00:53:26.000 But I'm King Kong.

00:53:27.000 I'll be King Kong.

00:53:28.000 Right.

00:53:30.000 Wow.

00:53:30.000 These are great saves.

00:53:33.000 Oh, that's scary.

00:53:34.000 That makes my adrenaline go up, my face get hot.

00:53:37.000 I was even thinking of making those mistakes.

00:53:39.000 That makes my care not budge an iota.

00:53:42.000 There's the most mustache-less person in America.

00:53:45.000 I saw people yelling and screaming.

00:53:49.000 Christopher Martin of Cole play?

00:53:50.000 He looks like shit these days.

00:53:51.000 Derek with his knee on George's neck.

00:53:55.000 Floyd was there.

00:53:56.000 I just wanted to see Neck Nuts.

00:53:58.000 So they're not showing him acting nuts on normal news.

00:54:01.000 I've seen pictures of him dancing around.

00:54:03.000 Yeah, they've cut out that part.

00:54:05.000 What's wrong with you?

00:54:06.000 Go to 1-6.

00:54:08.000 That's the body cam coming up.

00:54:09.000 Oh, yeah, this was a good series of tweets from this dude, Will Chamberlain.

00:54:15.000 You know what?

00:54:15.000 I was told to stay away from Will Chamberlain.

00:54:18.000 I was like, he seems like a spy.

00:54:19.000 I've seen him hang around with liberals.

00:54:21.000 And I've learned in my old age, when people say shit like that, go meet the person and just smell them.

00:54:29.000 We have pheromones.

00:54:30.000 Suss them out.

00:54:32.000 As someone who's been constantly lied about and misunderstood, I've learned to judge people on my own.

00:54:37.000 Thank you.

00:54:38.000 So I might hear bad things about him.

00:54:39.000 If I hear things like he raped a chick, then I'll go, Will, is it true you raped a chick?

00:54:43.000 I would get that out of the way.

00:54:44.000 But as far as like, eh, he's a bad dude, I'm not trusting your instincts.

00:54:48.000 I'll trust my own, thank you.

00:54:50.000 True.

00:54:52.000 And I got a really weird vibe off him.

00:54:54.000 No, I'm just kidding.

00:54:56.000 I had him on the show once.

00:54:57.000 I think he might be the guy.

00:54:58.000 It was either him or Scott Greer, where I was in the bathroom at CRTV.

00:55:02.000 And I said, I was frustrated that we didn't get along on the panel.

00:55:06.000 It's usually best to get a beer with a guest before or after you do a show with them.

00:55:11.000 And I said, you want to do a little toot and Magoot?

00:55:13.000 I happen to have some hanging around.

00:55:14.000 And he goes, sure, yeah.

00:55:18.000 And then I come back into the production studio.

00:55:22.000 And the producer is bawling her eyes up.

00:55:26.000 And I go, are you okay?

00:55:28.000 And she goes, your fucking microson, you imbecile.

00:55:32.000 She goes, I don't want this show to get canceled.

00:55:34.000 I don't want you to get fired.

00:55:36.000 Why do you do stupid shit like that?

00:55:39.000 It's like, don't cry.

00:55:40.000 I go, I'm getting fired inevitably.

00:55:42.000 It's only a question of when.

00:55:44.000 And then sure enough, about six months later, I was let go.

00:55:49.000 But go back to his tweets there.

00:55:51.000 That's a good take on the normal recording artist.

00:55:53.000 He's got a way deeper voice than I thought he would.

00:55:56.000 He sounds like John Hamm from that.

00:55:58.000 He's a massive cultural victory in and of itself.

00:56:00.000 Also, it's just awesome to see the left get annoyed by that.

00:56:03.000 It's just awesome to see the left get jarring to someone.

00:56:08.000 Gavin isn't here right now.

00:56:10.000 Watching the Chauvin trial and they're showing the police body cam footage, I've never watched it before.

00:56:14.000 After watching it, I don't know how you could rule out the idea that Floyd just simply died of an overdose.

00:56:19.000 And that's crucial.

00:56:20.000 Rule out the idea beyond a reasonable doubt.

00:56:24.000 So the only way you can prosecute Chauvin is if you are positive that he murdered the man.

00:56:30.000 If there's any doubt, it's out.

00:56:32.000 The glove don't fit.

00:56:33.000 You must acquit.

00:56:34.000 From the moment police approached Floyd in his car, he was freaking out, looking like he was having a panic attack.

00:56:39.000 He was resisting arrest, constantly jerking around, refusing to get in the squad car.

00:56:44.000 Then when he's in the squad car, Ryan, if you look at your preview, you can see what I can see.

00:56:52.000 Without anyone constraining his chest or neck, you can hear him saying, I can't breathe.

00:56:55.000 And it just looked like he was in a world of pain from the moment he was handcuffed.

00:56:58.000 You don't have to spend any time justifying Chauvin's actions to realize that the state is going to have a really hard time proving causation beyond a reasonable doubt.

00:57:07.000 Pretty sure the cops called an ambulance.

00:57:09.000 That should have ruled out murder.

00:57:14.000 And here's a fun game.

00:57:17.000 In the War on Truth, the New York Times has begun doxing the jurors of this trial.

00:57:25.000 That's pretty bad.

00:57:27.000 The 12 jury members and two alternates in the Derek Schoman trial remain anonymous, and their faces can't be shown on camera.

00:57:35.000 Here's what we do know about them.

00:57:39.000 Okay, let's look up the writer of this.

00:57:42.000 Click on that.

00:57:44.000 I wonder if it's...

00:57:45.000 That's our screenshot.

00:57:46.000 Okay, I'll have to look that up.

00:57:48.000 I wonder if it's, it wouldn't be our Alan Foyer.

00:57:50.000 No, he's focused on Proud Boys now.

00:57:52.000 I think Alan Foyer is coming to terms with the fact that he's been pursuing a dead end for the past five years.

00:58:00.000 He's been on a Proud Boys wild goose chase.

00:58:03.000 And now he's contacting me about documents, still clinging to the possibility that I orchestrated the whole thing.

00:58:09.000 They said they spoke to a Proud Boys leader about tactics.

00:58:13.000 Was that you?

00:58:14.000 No, dude.

00:58:16.000 You wasted.

00:58:17.000 You thought...

00:58:18.000 This is Al Capone's tomb, Geraldo.

00:58:20.000 You fucked up.

00:58:22.000 But Rufio, Ethan Nordine, he ordered a walkie-talkie.

00:58:25.000 He had flash bombs at the house.

00:58:28.000 Okay.

00:58:29.000 It didn't come up?

00:58:31.000 Did you put the headline in quotes?

00:58:35.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

00:58:37.000 What did you type in?

00:58:38.000 Jurors and jury.

00:58:40.000 No, Ryan, you had the headline in the screen grab.

00:58:43.000 So you just type out that headline in quotes and it will come up.

00:58:50.000 That's not the headline.

00:58:52.000 Go down.

00:58:54.000 Wow.

00:58:55.000 Who are the jurors in the Derek Chauvin trial?

00:58:58.000 You put that question in quotes and the article will come up.

00:59:03.000 This is welcome to Ryan's on-the-job training.

00:59:08.000 Learning how to do his job day by day, slowly but surely.

00:59:12.000 Torturing us all.

00:59:19.000 Try it without quotes, put a question mark at the end, and then put NYT.

00:59:25.000 So completely different thing from what you said that would work?

00:59:27.000 Yeah, completely different.

00:59:29.000 Wildly different.

00:59:30.000 With wildly different results.

00:59:31.000 Miles away.

00:59:32.000 If it has wildly different results, I think it's completely different.

00:59:38.000 Oh, what do you know?

00:59:39.000 We got there with a minor tweak.

00:59:42.000 But I want to see who wrote this.

00:59:44.000 It's always, look at that.

00:59:46.000 It's always more than one person.

00:59:47.000 Let's look up Shila Dewan.

00:59:49.000 I'm guessing that she is of black ethnicity.

00:59:53.000 I bet they both are.

00:59:55.000 So she clearly has a fucking agenda.

00:59:57.000 And that is to browbeat the jurors into finding a guilty plea.

01:00:03.000 Oh, no.

01:00:05.000 She's Indian, East Indian.

01:00:08.000 Not hideous.

01:00:10.000 She obviously doesn't care about how she looks, but if she tried, she could be something.

01:00:15.000 And then who's the other one?

01:00:17.000 She's one of these Indian aristocrats who grew up rich and wants to be a woman of the people now.

01:00:26.000 Always one of these pussies.

01:00:29.000 Huh.

01:00:32.000 Sad, isn't it?

01:00:33.000 That's not what I would have predicted.

01:00:35.000 Anyway, 1-8, you can see the jurors also, sorry, the witnesses are also trying to influence the trial by totally hamming it up in the most embarrassing possible way.

01:00:50.000 Look at this pussy bawling his eyes out.

01:00:54.000 Blacking.

01:00:55.000 Mr. McGunn, take a minute.

01:01:02.000 Was he your dad?

01:01:04.000 Were you fucking George Floyd at the time?

01:01:08.000 Nice glasses, weirdo.

01:01:26.000 This is common, by the way.

01:01:27.000 I've seen many witnesses bawl their eyes up.

01:01:30.000 I'm not sure if there's water as well.

01:01:34.000 If you need a stretcher, let me know and we can take a break.

01:01:37.000 Do you want an IV drip?

01:01:39.000 This broke me.

01:01:44.000 May I approach, Your Honor?

01:01:53.000 Is he getting a colonoscopy without being put under?

01:01:58.000 Thank you.

01:01:59.000 Thank you.

01:02:00.000 Why do you need water when you're crying?

01:02:01.000 Are you dehydrated from all the tears that came out?

01:02:04.000 You gotta recharge.

01:02:05.000 Did that water bottle represent the volume of tears that he's lost?

01:02:09.000 And do you really need to replenish them that fast?

01:02:14.000 Speaking of blackding, I thought this was a fun clip.

01:02:18.000 And I have a crazy theory that is going to make you want to cancel your subscription to the show because you're going to think I'm mentally ill.

01:02:31.000 She's falling.

01:02:32.000 She's falling.

01:02:36.000 What the fuck?

01:02:38.000 What the fuck is that?

01:02:41.000 What the fuck are you doing, dude?

01:02:44.000 Let her go.

01:02:45.000 Let her go, dude.

01:02:47.000 How can you cuff her?

01:02:48.000 Like, no, like physically.

01:02:49.000 Fuck.

01:02:50.000 Yeah, put cuffs on her.

01:02:53.000 I thought she was a dude, because when she was swimming, they called her Bob.

01:02:59.000 Get it?

01:02:59.000 Yes.

01:03:01.000 Look at this.

01:03:01.000 Whoa, help!

01:03:02.000 I'm falling!

01:03:03.000 Oh!

01:03:05.000 The amount of flailing and the lack of limbs is like really...

01:03:09.000 Yeah, it's disproportionate.

01:03:11.000 It's what did they say?

01:03:12.000 It's inversely proportional.

01:03:14.000 Sure is.

01:03:14.000 Her ability to flail is inversely proportional to her abilities to have limbs.

01:03:19.000 Anyway, you want to hear my crazy theory?

01:03:21.000 Yes.

01:03:22.000 You ready for this one?

01:03:24.000 I think that might be Satan.

01:03:28.000 I thought you were going to say animatronic.

01:03:29.000 If you're going to come here, you want to torture us, you would take the most oppressed conceivable person, and you can't get much more oppressed than a brutally handicapped black woman, right?

01:03:40.000 I mean, unless she's a lesbian, but she's not.

01:03:43.000 And when I just saw this, I thought, oh, she's some weird gimp ham.

01:03:48.000 But, meaning hamming it up.

01:03:50.000 But then I go, wait a minute.

01:03:52.000 I've been in this game so long, I'm starting to recognize people.

01:03:56.000 Guess who that is?

01:03:59.000 Who?

01:03:59.000 2-0.

01:04:03.000 Armed protester shot dead helping quadruple amputee girlfriend.

01:04:10.000 This girl got in there.

01:04:12.000 This is also Texas.

01:04:13.000 Now, I remember this.

01:04:15.000 Yeah.

01:04:16.000 Everything you've seen is in Texas.

01:04:18.000 So she's this Texas kid.

01:04:20.000 And this car drives in.

01:04:23.000 She, I don't know what she did.

01:04:25.000 Did she ham it up?

01:04:26.000 Did she say, go get him?

01:04:27.000 He almost killed me.

01:04:28.000 Are you just going to sit there?

01:04:30.000 So he runs at the guy in the truck with his armed rifle.

01:04:33.000 Armed rifle.

01:04:34.000 Right.

01:04:34.000 Armed with a rifle.

01:04:37.000 And someone comes up to your car pointing a gun at you.

01:04:40.000 You got to shoot him.

01:04:41.000 So he shot him dead.

01:04:43.000 And remember when this came up, we were like, that's your fiancé?

01:04:47.000 Dude, I don't know how ugly you are or how small your dick is, but trust me, you can do better than a quadruple amputee.

01:04:56.000 Everyone can.

01:04:57.000 Why can't my friends find dates when a quadruple amputee has no problem getting them?

01:05:03.000 fairly handsome guy.

01:05:05.000 So he died.

01:05:07.000 She was there.

01:05:08.000 Now, I don't have proof, but I'm guessing she egged him on.

01:05:13.000 She pushed him there.

01:05:14.000 And then here she is, still protesting, wriggling around out of her chair, hamming it up.

01:05:22.000 Okay, maybe she's not Satan.

01:05:26.000 Police violently dumped her.

01:05:29.000 I think if he's hiding anywhere, I think that would be a good vessel.

01:05:34.000 And I think it would be smart to make someone fall in love with you and then have them kill themselves by attacking an armed.

01:05:41.000 Like, you don't run up to trucks in Texas.

01:05:45.000 Anyway, we'll see.

01:05:47.000 I might be.

01:05:49.000 Right?

01:05:50.000 It's got to be her.

01:05:51.000 How many black quadruple amputees are there in Texas?

01:05:55.000 She got it from Sepsis.

01:05:57.000 Who are Satan.

01:05:58.000 Right.

01:05:59.000 Yeah, no, that is her.

01:06:00.000 Of Dallas.

01:06:02.000 Set from Sepsis.

01:06:03.000 Lost four of her.

01:06:05.000 Sepsis?

01:06:06.000 Isn't that just a really bad infection?

01:06:08.000 Sounds like a pirate disease, I thought.

01:06:10.000 From poop.

01:06:11.000 I remember it has to do something with poop.

01:06:13.000 I found the rapper pour, by the way.

01:06:14.000 Oh, good.

01:06:15.000 Bye to buy.

01:06:20.000 Unprecedented access with Katino Mobley, who I know wishes he was on the court, despite not playing.

01:06:28.000 I mean, my man is looking custom suit sharp.

01:06:32.000 Katino, this is a tough game.

01:06:34.000 Killer Threes are not playing around.

01:06:35.000 What do you have to say about this game?

01:06:39.000 Yo, you're going to be able to get the sounds like you want to put hands on me.

01:06:42.000 Please, please, man, before I put hands on you.

01:06:53.000 Did you know Moby just told me he would put hands on me on live TV?

01:06:57.000 CBS books, biggest.

01:07:00.000 If it happens, it happens.

01:07:02.000 Make sure you click that videotape from my lawyers.

01:07:05.000 Mom, dad, it was great.

01:07:06.000 Great run when we had it.

01:07:07.000 It's probably not the first time somebody's told you they want to put hands on.

01:07:11.000 Did you hear that?

01:07:12.000 Yes.

01:07:12.000 Probably not the first time somebody told you they want to put their hands on.

01:07:14.000 So that's the theme.

01:07:15.000 He talked about the lawyer, and he was like, he just told me the snitching and the lawyer.

01:07:19.000 Anything.

01:07:19.000 If you threaten someone in LA, they go, yeah, well, you better clip the video from my lawyers.

01:07:24.000 New Yorkers fight.

01:07:25.000 He's not a New Yorker.

01:07:29.000 Let's do some Antifa BLM here.

01:07:32.000 It's already passed an hour.

01:07:36.000 You're fucking a white man!

01:07:38.000 You've never experienced that body by your leader!

01:07:48.000 Fuck you, Dad.

01:07:52.000 I'd like to call this next clip, what have we done to our women?

01:07:56.000 Oh my god, this hollering banshee.

01:08:00.000 So they're having a Black Lives Matter in Austin now in Texas.

01:08:04.000 It's not going well.

01:08:07.000 Texans don't like this kind of shit.

01:08:09.000 Although Austin is very left-wing, even the local Austinites have had enough.

01:08:14.000 And some guys, his motorcycle's broken down, probably out of gas.

01:08:18.000 So he's walking it in neutral.

01:08:19.000 And this hysterical fucking coyote, and she must be five feet tall, is just attacking him with impunity.

01:08:28.000 This is what we've done.

01:08:29.000 We've liberated women from the kitchen and turned them into men.

01:08:32.000 They don't know what to do with their new role as men.

01:08:35.000 So they're just fighting like a deranged puppy.

01:08:50.000 What do we want?

01:08:53.000 He's sitting there back there going, shut the fuck up.

01:08:56.000 What do we want?

01:08:58.000 What do we want?

01:09:00.000 Two more cops get a vacation or pension?

01:09:02.000 That's fucks.

01:09:03.000 Look, she's had enough.

01:09:06.000 So she just starts wailing on him.

01:09:09.000 Throwing her water bottle at him.

01:09:11.000 And then this guy's got a steel pipe.

01:09:14.000 It's never cold enough to wear that much clothes in Austin.

01:09:17.000 I don't understand.

01:09:18.000 And look, he's whacking all the plastic off the back of his bike.

01:09:21.000 And she will not let up.

01:09:24.000 She just keeps shoving him.

01:09:25.000 She pours her water on him.

01:09:26.000 And he can't do anything, right?

01:09:28.000 He realizes if he fights back, then he's going to be in jail and sued.

01:09:33.000 So he shoves the other guy with the pole, and she just will not fucking stop.

01:09:37.000 Now he's hitting him with the pole, with the pipe.

01:09:40.000 So he's like, maybe I'll just try to scoot, pushing it along.

01:09:43.000 Yeah, you push it along out of range, park it, and then come back.

01:09:49.000 And then look, she's killing him.

01:09:50.000 This is the clincher here.

01:09:52.000 She just can't get enough of him.

01:09:54.000 So he leaves.

01:09:54.000 He's in the parking lot.

01:09:55.000 She's like, nah, fuck that.

01:09:56.000 I'm going to get him.

01:09:57.000 There, that's why I played this video.

01:09:59.000 That one part there where she runs and starts punching him.

01:10:03.000 She must weigh 90 pounds.

01:10:08.000 And look at her.

01:10:08.000 I'm not taking any shit.

01:10:12.000 What have we done to our women?

01:10:14.000 I would be happy if you ripped them from the kitchen and this feminist stuff made their lives a million percent better and they were happy and not trying to fight people that they can't take.

01:10:29.000 Wait, he made it back up there?

01:10:32.000 How did that happen?

01:10:33.000 Is that someone else?

01:10:45.000 I haven't watched this stuff.

01:10:49.000 And they blast them with smoke.

01:10:52.000 Oh, shh, nice.

01:10:56.000 All right, that's boring.

01:10:59.000 Here's another example of a liberated woman who doesn't want kids or a home to shape.

01:11:08.000 And unfortunately, when you do that much smack on the subway, you have soft skin inside your mouth that's easily detached.

01:11:16.000 And rats love it.

01:11:19.000 Rats love the protein you get from that skin.

01:11:22.000 So she's going to wake up.

01:11:23.000 There he is, just munching away on her inner lip, getting some of the pus from her cold sores, And just chomping away at the meat on the inside of her mouth.

01:11:33.000 Isn't it great we got them out of the kitchen?

01:11:37.000 Isn't it a female empowerment fun?

01:11:39.000 She likes the Wu-Tang clan, yo.

01:11:41.000 Wu-Tang clan ain't nothing to fuck with.

01:11:43.000 She loves rap.

01:11:49.000 In Black Lives Matter news, we have similar reactions from the populace, including blacks, where they've had enough of this shit.

01:11:56.000 It's been a year.

01:11:58.000 Everyone gets a year.

01:12:00.000 Every movement can have a year.

01:12:02.000 And we wait to see if life improves or if you're satisfied with any of the changes.

01:12:06.000 Black Lives Matter has raised hundreds of millions of dollars.

01:12:10.000 They didn't send it to anything but themselves, embezzling, making more dumb groups, having more rallies.

01:12:15.000 Just like the SPLC spends most of their money raising more money, you spent most of your money having more rallies, demanding more money.

01:12:22.000 And we've had enough.

01:12:23.000 We'd like to get to work.

01:12:28.000 So this guy gets out of his truck, the guy in the red, and he's like, I got to get to work.

01:12:33.000 Get the fuck out of my way.

01:12:34.000 This doesn't have anything to do with me.

01:12:40.000 You see, some of them are doing peace policing.

01:12:43.000 We learned about that.

01:12:50.000 Oh, that guy's black.

01:12:54.000 He doesn't fit the name.

01:13:13.000 Anyway, you get the idea.

01:13:15.000 It's a fucking joke.

01:13:16.000 All right, let's jump to the mailbag.

01:13:27.000 Let's turn the break together's mailbag.

01:13:32.000 Let me touch it.

01:13:34.000 This show started out good.

01:13:36.000 It's not good now.

01:13:37.000 What happened?

01:13:38.000 I don't know.

01:13:41.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm continuing to listen and watch the Derek Shauvent trial every day.

01:13:44.000 I just wanted to bring up something real quick that I didn't know before.

01:13:46.000 Courtney Ross, George Floyd's drug buddy girlfriend, was in George Floyd's phone as mama.

01:13:51.000 People say George was calling out for his mother before he died, but was he really calling out for Courtney?

01:13:56.000 Heather.

01:13:58.000 That's Heather is the woman who wrote the letter.

01:14:00.000 That's interesting.

01:14:01.000 And look up Courtney Ross.

01:14:03.000 She's white.

01:14:05.000 So while they had the baby mama crying like they were one big happy family, oh, she's like a bulldykey kind of chick.

01:14:18.000 Fiancé.

01:14:20.000 Dude, I bet you anything that's a lie.

01:14:24.000 Really?

01:14:25.000 I bet it's his girlfriend, and then she's still a junkie, and she saw the $27 million, and she went, I'm not his girlfriend, I'm his fiancé.

01:14:34.000 He had proposed.

01:14:35.000 And then she went and bought a ring with her own money.

01:14:40.000 There's no way to like.

01:14:42.000 How do you prove someone didn't propose?

01:14:44.000 Right.

01:14:45.000 Yeah, because, well, then that would be George taking the knee for once.

01:14:52.000 You also didn't see.

01:14:53.000 I read that somewhere.

01:14:55.000 Just kidding.

01:14:56.000 I just don't know how much I want to be accountable for.

01:14:59.000 Biden's teleprompter.

01:15:00.000 Oh, someone put in something that they speak better Biden than me.

01:15:05.000 And they're right.

01:15:06.000 We had a letter.

01:15:07.000 I can't find it right now, but the guy goes, no, no, dummy, you got his quote wrong.

01:15:10.000 Remember when he said, something near and dear to your heart?

01:15:14.000 Well, we're going to get a lot done.

01:15:16.000 You know what he was saying?

01:15:18.000 I was wrong.

01:15:18.000 The reader was viewer was right.

01:15:20.000 He said, when something's near and dear to your heart, you'll do anything to make it happen.

01:15:25.000 You'll bribe, you'll break some legs, you'll make sure it gets done.

01:15:29.000 And then he realized, oh shit, I can't say that.

01:15:32.000 So when he said, when something's near and dear to your heart, well, we're going to get it done.

01:15:38.000 Much better translation.

01:15:40.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:15:40.000 I stabilized the image to our senior citizen-in-chief's head in this clip, and it makes what we all know even more painfully obvious.

01:15:47.000 This man needs mental crutches just as much as he needs a walking stick.

01:15:51.000 P.S. Ryan needs a solid video editing rig for those long exports and should build a PC.

01:15:56.000 Way better cost to benefit ratio than Mac, and it's upgradable.

01:15:59.000 Here's a good build.

01:16:01.000 And then he sends a system builder.

01:16:03.000 I'll check out that build.

01:16:06.000 Well, a tech guy will handle that.

01:16:08.000 You know, as we work to vaccinate the nation, bring our economy back from the brink, let's hold that lesson close to our hearts.

01:16:17.000 And we can close the seder by adapting a familiar refrain.

01:16:21.000 Not only next year in Jerusalem, but next year in person.

01:16:26.000 Next year together.

01:16:28.000 Spooky.

01:16:29.000 I don't really get what that means, but it is spooky.

01:16:33.000 Arbella.

01:16:35.000 So, any avid listener of the Gavman knows that he always mentions how ex-junkies usually OD because they think their tolerance level is as high as it was when they were using.

01:16:43.000 I've been watching the chauvin trial live, and in the state's opening statement, they said that the level of fentanyl found in the system was not enough to kill someone who used drugs as frequently as Floyd.

01:16:53.000 The defense lawyer just questioned Floyd's junkie girlfriend, and she confirmed that, after his recent OD about a month and a half prior to his death, he was clean.

01:17:03.000 So he was clean for a little over a month and then started using again two weeks before his deadly overdose.

01:17:09.000 So his tolerance definitely could have dropped in that time, throwing the state's argument out the window.

01:17:14.000 Correct.

01:17:14.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.

01:17:17.000 Also, she said those pills felt just like the pills they took when he overdosed a month and a half before.

01:17:26.000 Is our country really this fucking retarded?

01:17:28.000 I'm officially giving up on us.

01:17:29.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:17:30.000 Wait, did they say not enough fentanyl to overdose?

01:17:33.000 But meanwhile, there's a bunch of other drugs there, too.

01:17:36.000 There's that too.

01:17:36.000 Yeah, he had the speed.

01:17:38.000 It's not enough on its own, but combined with meth and other bullshit.

01:17:44.000 Someone here is accusing someone of trying to come for your job.

01:17:49.000 King.

01:17:52.000 Dave Chappelle, 50 Cent Terrence, Howard, and Jay-Z want you to come to keep your distance.

01:17:59.000 All Right?

01:18:00.000 What's taking you so long?

01:18:05.000 Come to keep your distance, baby.

01:18:07.000 You don't want to miss this thing.

01:18:09.000 It's going to be crazy.

01:18:10.000 Ah!

01:18:12.000 Barack Obama wants you to come to keep your distance.

01:18:14.000 That's right.

01:18:15.000 I want you to let America know that you are not afraid and that you can still laugh and have a good time.

01:18:23.000 50 Cent wants you to come to keep your distance.

01:18:25.000 Yeah, I just really want everybody to have a good time and just be safe.

01:18:30.000 That's the honorable thing to do.

01:18:33.000 I just feel like that's, you know.

01:18:35.000 Hey, because, you know, a lot of people, they just want to get outside.

01:18:39.000 Terrence Howard wants you to come to keep your distance, man.

01:18:43.000 I feel like if we all were to come together and support a black man, you know, I feel like we could just totally be on another molecular plane field mentally because, you know, it is hard out here,

01:18:59.000 but it's not the size of the dog in the fight.

01:19:03.000 It's the size of the fight in the dog.

01:19:06.000 Jay-Z wants you to come and keep your distance.

01:19:09.000 Well, you know, well, let's say you have, you know, you got 40 million people watching at one time, you know, and you're selling your tickets for how much?

01:19:20.000 $15 or $15.

01:19:21.000 Like $15.

01:19:22.000 A little $15.

01:19:23.000 It's like the title of comedy.

01:19:25.000 It's like the title, you know, so it's the rock.

01:19:30.000 So, you know, just make sure that, you know, we want to build.

01:19:34.000 Yeah, that's like Obama was creepy good.

01:19:40.000 Oh, someone got us on Shizmobbin.

01:19:44.000 Yes.

01:19:46.000 Hey, Kweef Squad, I know you're not much of an MMA fan, but watch how fucked up Woodley gets.

01:19:51.000 Dude literally couldn't bend his legs.

01:19:54.000 I don't really like seeing MMA guys destroy someone's legs.

01:19:59.000 I like a knockout.

01:20:00.000 I just can't seem to get into MMA.

01:20:02.000 I don't know what it is.

01:20:05.000 But kicking legs, it's not exciting.

01:20:11.000 Still dropped him.

01:20:13.000 Luke does a great job.

01:20:15.000 Oh, he's the bad.

01:20:26.000 That guy's concussed.

01:20:28.000 Stop the fight.

01:20:29.000 Stop the fight.

01:20:30.000 Luke is in much better shape than this.

01:20:33.000 And he's throwing straight.

01:20:43.000 This is crazy.

01:20:44.000 Oh, my goodness.

01:20:45.000 These guys are just throwing.

01:20:46.000 We lost it.

01:20:49.000 This is crazy.

01:20:50.000 Oh, my goodness, these guys are just throwing.

01:20:52.000 But Luke is in much better shape.

01:20:54.000 Yes.

01:20:55.000 And he's throwing straight, right?

01:20:56.000 Tyranny's Lupin.

01:20:57.000 Yes.

01:20:57.000 Nice leader's body by Luke.

01:20:59.000 And he hit him with the lift.

01:21:00.000 Knocking him up in the back of the head.

01:21:01.000 Darsh joke.

01:21:02.000 Yep, he's going dark.

01:21:03.000 Boring.

01:21:04.000 He's got a Darsh joke.

01:21:07.000 Your I Drink Your Milk impression yesterday was shockingly good.

01:21:10.000 I think it's your best.

01:21:11.000 Pursue that vein.

01:21:12.000 Thank you, sirs.

01:21:13.000 In the past few months in Australia, the anti-male hysteria has hit fever pitch.

01:21:16.000 That's sad because Australia is the last bastion of masculinity.

01:21:20.000 And if Australia loses its masculinity, there's no hope for the rest of us.

01:21:24.000 That's our Israel.

01:21:25.000 Australia is Israel for men.

01:21:28.000 It's the promised men's promised land.

01:21:30.000 Yeah, it's Menberg.

01:21:34.000 The past few months, blah, blah, blah, there's been multiple parliamentarians accused of sexual harassment and assault.

01:21:40.000 Due to media pressure, RPM has cucked himself and removed multiple of these people from their ministerial duties, including our attorney general, granting the insatiable left another victory.

01:21:49.000 With no trial, of course.

01:21:50.000 Judge, jury, executioner is the mob.

01:21:52.000 Were you aware of this?

01:21:53.000 I was not aware of this, but we didn't get to this today, but check out 2-2.

01:21:58.000 This is Germany's top politicians.

01:22:00.000 The country's run by bulldykes.

01:22:04.000 Look at this.

01:22:05.000 Holy shit.

01:22:06.000 Do they even have pussies?

01:22:09.000 Angela Merkel is the most feminine one there.

01:22:13.000 Like, if you had to fuck one of them.

01:22:16.000 Right.

01:22:17.000 I would like...

01:22:19.000 That's a calculus question.

01:22:22.000 I'm hiding the one in the bottom right.

01:22:24.000 Just for science, I would just go...

01:22:26.000 I would do all of them.

01:22:28.000 No, come on.

01:22:29.000 There's a gun to your head.

01:22:30.000 You have to fuck one of them or your whole family dies.

01:22:33.000 I only get to fuck one.

01:22:34.000 That's sad.

01:22:35.000 Let's see.

01:22:37.000 I mean, go left one in the top left just because she's youngest and her kids might still have hope.

01:22:43.000 Super top left.

01:22:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:22:45.000 I'm going to go bottom right left.

01:22:46.000 You mean super top left?

01:22:48.000 What other top lefts are there?

01:22:49.000 Right.

01:22:50.000 I was going to go top left, second from the left.

01:22:53.000 Red blazer?

01:22:54.000 Yeah, but red blazer?

01:22:55.000 I changed my mind.

01:22:55.000 I'm going to go down with the bottom right, second to last, green.

01:22:58.000 The background?

01:22:59.000 Man?

01:23:00.000 Green background.

01:23:02.000 Man.

01:23:02.000 Yeah, that might be.

01:23:03.000 Yeah, that's.

01:23:04.000 That's like a Sinead O'Connor-ish type of.

01:23:06.000 For some reason, I'm really optimistic about the top left's tits.

01:23:13.000 She might have triangle floppers.

01:23:14.000 Scott.

01:23:16.000 Okay, this is long.

01:23:18.000 That's what she's going to say.

01:23:20.000 Triangle tits.

01:23:21.000 Hey, Gavin, the fag found a bit of infighting from the leftist movement that you might find interesting.

01:23:24.000 Here's a video of the so-called philosopher-poet Derek Jenkins of the Deep Green Resistance being protested by the LGBTQ LMNLP community in Eugene, Oregon.

01:23:34.000 His cardinal sin is recognizing the difference between homosexuality and queer theory, which he plainly shows has deep roots in the 70s child sex abuse movement.

01:23:46.000 I'm sorry, I don't care.

01:23:48.000 Okay, so actually, actually.

01:23:49.000 Oh, I know this guy.

01:23:50.000 Yeah.

01:23:51.000 That's a whole...

01:23:52.000 We'll do a segment on that.

01:23:52.000 I just marked it blue.

01:23:54.000 There's a London podcast called Trigger Nometry, which is currently doing good stuff.

01:23:59.000 I think you featured one of the guys in the past in a story.

01:24:01.000 He was faced with a don't list for a comedy show in London.

01:24:06.000 Oh, this isn't that guy that everyone keeps sending me, is it?

01:24:10.000 Nope.

01:24:12.000 Okay, that's good to know.

01:24:14.000 Thank you for that.

01:24:14.000 Trigger Nometry.

01:24:16.000 Hmm.

01:24:17.000 Brian, FYI, this book, like Gavin's, has been pulled from the library system.

01:24:22.000 I didn't know mine was pulled from the library system.

01:24:26.000 There is only one copy on eBay for the low price of $189.77.

01:24:32.000 Huh.

01:24:32.000 Whoa.

01:24:35.000 Wait, my book's been pulled from the library?

01:24:39.000 Amazon.com, Death of Cool.

01:24:45.000 There it is.

01:24:46.000 Death of Cool.

01:24:48.000 Audiobook is there.

01:24:50.000 One credit.

01:24:52.000 How about the not audiobook?

01:24:55.000 I'm seeing it right here.

01:24:57.000 Is that paperback?

01:24:59.000 Paperback $14.99, 23 User.

01:25:02.000 So what library am I pulled from?

01:25:03.000 Amazon's more important than the library.

01:25:05.000 I don't even know what the fuck.

01:25:06.000 Why do libraries even exist anymore?

01:25:08.000 They're pretty buildings.

01:25:10.000 That's about it.

01:25:12.000 That's funny that Goldberg is totally metered and kind and measured.

01:25:18.000 And he just says a lot of this critical theory is bullshit.

01:25:20.000 Here's why.

01:25:21.000 And academics can't take it.

01:25:23.000 In fact, that was also in my notes.

01:25:25.000 We could just jump to that.

01:25:29.000 Go to 2-3.

01:25:34.000 Academic bullies claim the mantle of free speech.

01:25:39.000 So here's what really happened here.

01:25:41.000 This woman wrote, sorry, two academics went through critical theory and they said, there's major problems here.

01:25:48.000 This doesn't add up.

01:25:49.000 And so she then, her comeback to this is, I'm being cyberbullied.

01:25:55.000 Just by having my work analyzed and critiqued, it's cyberbullying.

01:25:59.000 So either ban it like you did with Stephen Goldberg's book or just whine about it and say, this is harassment.

01:26:06.000 You're harassing me if you question me.

01:26:10.000 What did he say?

01:26:12.000 In 2.4, he responds.

01:26:15.000 So then he responds to her freak out, say, I'm not bullying you, bitch.

01:26:20.000 He says, by claiming that criticism of published ideas and pedagogical models is harassment, and by creating institutional mechanisms that erect barriers to wholly appropriate critique, entire lines of scholarship become exempt from scrutiny.

01:26:34.000 Correct?

01:26:36.000 The academic process depends on having the freedom not only to state ideas, but also to criticize other ideas.

01:26:42.000 Limiting criticism in academia is tantamount to telling potters they can make all the clay pots they want so long as they never use clay.

01:26:49.000 This is particularly disturbing because the claims in question, almost always about race, gender, and sexual orientation, are presented as knowledge and then used to influence public policy.

01:27:02.000 Too true.

01:27:03.000 Did you see this, Amy?

01:27:05.000 Amy Chandler, now Amy Knight.

01:27:08.000 Wait a minute.

01:27:08.000 Green Party co-leader Jonathan Bartley on the right.

01:27:12.000 LGBTQIQA way, you do spokesperson.

01:27:14.000 Wait, are you?

01:27:17.000 This was 2-4.

01:27:19.000 No, I didn't ask you to go to 2-4, fuckhead.

01:27:23.000 You did.

01:27:23.000 I did?

01:27:24.000 Yes.

01:27:25.000 This is the response.

01:27:27.000 Do you have a response?

01:27:28.000 2-2-3.

01:27:29.000 Okay.

01:27:32.000 Here she is whining.

01:27:33.000 And who, what's her name?

01:27:35.000 Jennifer Ruth.

01:27:37.000 Jennifer Ruth, right.

01:27:39.000 And then 2-3.

01:27:41.000 What's 2-2?

01:27:43.000 2-2.

01:27:44.000 Okay.

01:27:45.000 Let's see.

01:27:46.000 Germany's run by Dykes.

01:27:49.000 Okay.

01:27:49.000 So 2-3 is her whining about bullying.

01:27:52.000 Then 2-4 is Dude's response.

01:27:55.000 Reddit fires Amy Knight as controversial hires 100 subreddits going.

01:27:58.000 No, that's 2-6 and 2-5.

01:28:05.000 Yeah, that's a whole other subject, my friend.

01:28:07.000 I'm sorry.

01:28:09.000 Jesus Christ.

01:28:12.000 You gave me a panic attack.

01:28:14.000 I was like, I know who Amy Knight is.

01:28:16.000 That's a whole other thing I want to talk about on another show.

01:28:20.000 Why is it coming up now?

01:28:21.000 Yes, that is the correct link.

01:28:23.000 This is a bad Lyme day for you, my friend.

01:28:26.000 Blame it on the Lymes.

01:28:28.000 Lyme.

01:28:29.000 It's not Lymes.

01:28:31.000 Oh.

01:28:32.000 It's Lyme disease.

01:28:36.000 Know the diseases that you have.

01:28:39.000 Hey, this is that crazy guy that emailed you a few months ago.

01:28:42.000 G-Dog, I want a job.

01:28:43.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

01:28:45.000 Not really appropriate for the show.

01:28:49.000 I found some sprinkles here.

01:28:50.000 I don't know about her other TikToks.

01:28:52.000 Yeah, sometimes you'll find sprinkles.

01:28:57.000 And, oh yeah, I've seen this one.

01:28:59.000 It's pretty good.

01:29:02.000 I'm built different.

01:29:06.000 Well, that joke was ruined by the leg, as is most things on this show.

01:29:11.000 Oh, shit.

01:29:15.000 Good comic timing, that's for sure.

01:29:17.000 Dear Gavin and Straight Guy Who Gets Laid a Light.

01:29:23.000 Lil Yummy Sandifer, an 11-year-old Chicago kid who was murdered by his own gang after he brought too much attention to them after he murdered his 14-year-old neighbor.

01:29:30.000 I mean, National News spawned a bunch of documentaries and kids in Chicago would wear masks of his face.

01:29:35.000 Here's a good clip of Denzel Washington explaining how his murder started Lil Yummies in Chicago.

01:29:52.000 I think it's more important to make headway in our own house.

01:29:55.000 By the time the system comes into play, the damage is done.

01:29:58.000 Great point.

01:29:59.000 Of seven-year-olds.

01:30:01.000 Yeah.

01:30:02.000 You know, I was in Chicago a couple of three, four weeks ago, and we saw these little kids on bikes with masks on the side of their head.

01:30:11.000 Like five or six of them.

01:30:13.000 And the driver said, yeah, they're little yummies.

01:30:15.000 I said, who?

01:30:16.000 He said, little yummies.

01:30:17.000 Look up.

01:30:18.000 Google Lil Yummy.

01:30:19.000 Lil Yummy was an 11-year-old murderer.

01:30:22.000 Wow.

01:30:23.000 And you look at his picture, you'll see the headshot of him, and he's like this.

01:30:26.000 And he got murdered at 11 by a 14-year-old.

01:30:30.000 Wow.

01:30:30.000 Who's doing life now and a 16-year-old?

01:30:33.000 That makes no sense.

01:30:34.000 You blame the system.

01:30:36.000 Where was his father?

01:30:38.000 It starts in the house.

01:30:39.000 It starts in the house.

01:30:40.000 Stop, stop.

01:30:42.000 Well, my father got locked up.

01:30:43.000 Well, where was his father?

01:30:45.000 Yeah.

01:30:46.000 You know, like I did talk about my three closest friends, and they did, you know, 15 to 25.

01:30:52.000 One did 28, this and that.

01:30:54.000 I was the only one of the three that had a father in my life, even though my parents were together.

01:31:00.000 But I still had a father who was a gentleman and a good example.

01:31:04.000 And they didn't.

01:31:06.000 We can blame the system if we want, but they didn't lock any of us up at seven.

01:31:12.000 We were all doing enough to get locked up.

01:31:15.000 At 13, my parents sent me in another direction.

01:31:18.000 They didn't have anybody to help them.

01:31:20.000 And they kept doing what they was doing.

01:31:22.000 And the system got them.

01:31:24.000 Let me put this on a pot.

01:31:25.000 The system is rigged, but all the more reason not to help it.

01:31:30.000 Speaking of fatherhood, Olivia, Malcolm.

01:31:33.000 You know what's happened just then?

01:31:34.000 He walked out on his kids and hasn't seen his three-year-old in two years.

01:31:39.000 Anyway, another subject.

01:31:41.000 Let's move on.

01:31:42.000 There's so much we need to talk about.

01:31:43.000 And you're playing funny word.

01:31:45.000 Playing the blame game seems kind of superficial at this point.

01:31:49.000 I'm not going to judge another man's life.

01:31:53.000 Let's go to the final video.

01:32:13.000 Make babies.

01:32:15.000 Get married first, of course.

01:32:18.000 And then the second you're married, throw out the birth control, throw out the condoms, start plunging.

01:32:23.000 By the way, sex when you're trying to make a baby is three times better than normal sex.

01:32:28.000 I don't know why.

01:32:29.000 It's just fucking amazing.

01:32:31.000 Ryan, why'd you pull up the video before I asked?

01:32:37.000 I mean, in the past, it's worked the other way, where you're like, why aren't you showing the video?

01:32:40.000 It's like, because you didn't reveal it yet.

01:32:42.000 You're like, well, you can reveal it.

01:32:43.000 Maybe I'm a grump.

01:32:44.000 That's a possibility.

01:32:45.000 I wanted to do a whole diatribe, and then that was going to be my slam dunk at the end.

01:32:49.000 Gotcha.

01:32:49.000 I figured since you said baby, the mystery had been popped.

01:32:54.000 Right.

01:32:56.000 And I got to tell you, when you have these little things, like, yes, the sleeping sucks for the first seven weeks.

01:33:02.000 I'll give you that.

01:33:03.000 But, God, smelling their breath, when they fall asleep on your chest and you smell the top of their hair, they grip your little thumbs and they pull up and they're so happy to see you all the time.

01:33:15.000 They smell, and cleaning their diapers, the shit is like chocolate.

01:33:18.000 I don't know.

01:33:18.000 It's not, maybe it's because it's my kids.

01:33:20.000 But God, I miss having babies.

01:33:22.000 It really is the best.

01:33:23.000 And then when they start walking, their weird little drunk walk where they're just balancing their heads like you were carrying 600 pounds on your shoulders, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:33:34.000 Then they start, that's like one.

01:33:35.000 Then at two, they start saying cute stuff.

01:33:38.000 I mean, it just keeps going and going and going.

01:33:40.000 They keep getting better and better and better.

01:33:41.000 And then you go, oh, well, then the cute faces open and they're little petulant brats.

01:33:46.000 No, not if you treat them right.

01:33:48.000 Not if you give them attention.

01:33:49.000 All you have to do, and this goes for babies, toddlers, and teens, is just invest.

01:33:54.000 You put in an hour, you get back an hour.

01:33:57.000 You watch one of your daughter's favorite stupid shows, you get respect.

01:34:01.000 And when you're mad at her, she cares because your word means something, right?

01:34:05.000 If you're not around, you don't give a shit about her, you don't communicate with her, then when you're mad, it's like, who gives a fuck?

01:34:10.000 Some stranger's mad at me.

01:34:11.000 But I believe my daughter would be crestfallen if she found out I was disappointed in her.

01:34:16.000 And that's currency in a sense, that I don't want her to make any mistakes.

01:34:20.000 So I'm like, don't do that.

01:34:21.000 Don't go past curfew.

01:34:23.000 Don't do all these other things.

01:34:24.000 And with a baby, you put in like two hours of tending to it and stuff, and it recognizes you, feels safer around you, and then it gives you back more love.

01:34:34.000 It's a symbiotic relationship that just keeps getting better and better.

01:34:38.000 And I'm telling you, 100% of parents my age, they always say the same thing.

01:34:43.000 I wish I had more.

01:34:44.000 I wish I did it sooner.

01:34:46.000 So assuming you're married, start churning them out.

01:34:50.000 They are the reason we're here.

01:34:53.000 That's why God made us.

01:34:55.000 That's what nature is all about, the propagation of the species and the rewards you get with endorphins and sheer love.

01:35:02.000 I mean, it made me give up atheism.

01:35:05.000 I didn't believe in God before I had my daughter.

01:35:08.000 Now I'm all about it.

01:35:10.000 And I'd like to present you with some proof.

01:35:12.000 Hit it!

01:35:13.000 I love you, baby.

01:35:16.000 And it's quite all right.

01:35:18.000 I need you, baby.

01:35:20.000 So on these lonely nights, I love you, baby.

01:35:26.000 So there's that.

01:35:36.000 This girl is so clingy.

01:35:39.000 She want to make me babe.

01:35:43.000 How old is that baby?

01:35:45.000 She's probably short.

01:35:47.000 You know what I mean?

01:35:48.000 Not that babies, if you can't stand, I don't think you're short, but she's probably petite, and she's probably six months.

01:35:54.000 That looks so advanced for six for it's like, I don't know, the facial.

01:35:59.000 They do all that stuff when they're within a year old?

01:36:02.000 Sure.

01:36:03.000 My gosh.

01:36:04.000 They do a lot of shit.

01:36:06.000 You should check it out.

01:36:07.000 You should also get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 01, 2021

S03E93 - DEVO DAY

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