Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E08

00:00:03.000 I like big dick and I cannot lie.

00:00:06.000 But the dick must be the right size.

00:00:09.000 I want 20 inch from top to the end.

00:00:18.000 With Devin McGinnis, baby, it's like a shit.

00:00:22.000 However, you prefer to call the dick that you.

00:00:29.000 And when he comes, he tells me that he loves me.

00:00:31.000 I'm the one.

00:00:32.000 His thumb is white like Bob Whitzky's bum.

00:00:36.000 White like Donald Trump before he turned Orland.

00:00:39.000 White like Rachel Dozo when she wakes up in the morning.

00:00:42.000 Gotta throw it in a circle, then look back.

00:00:48.000 That's some African chick.

00:00:49.000 I don't know who the hell it was.

00:00:51.000 That was a reader's submission.

00:00:52.000 I like big dick.

00:00:53.000 I like big dicks.

00:00:55.000 I love big dicks.

00:00:58.000 Not in a sexual way.

00:01:00.000 I'm just a fan of them.

00:01:02.000 You know, like if you go to the aquarium, some people will go to their thing they like, like a jellyfish.

00:01:08.000 I like jellyfish.

00:01:09.000 I'll be over there.

00:01:10.000 I like sea otters.

00:01:11.000 I remember David Cross was really into otters, and we'd go to the aquarium, and he'd be off at the sea otter section for like half an hour.

00:01:19.000 I suspect a lot of people say they like that thing just because you're that guy.

00:01:24.000 It makes you sound kind of like special.

00:01:27.000 If you're like people go, oh, that's Gavin.

00:01:30.000 He's really into jellyfish.

00:01:35.000 It's a jellyfish.

00:01:38.000 She says, in that song, she says, I like big dicks like a shit brick.

00:01:43.000 Yeah, I thought that's what she said.

00:01:46.000 I thought she said like a shit grid at first.

00:01:49.000 It's not great either.

00:01:50.000 But I don't, you know, because she's not really.

00:01:52.000 Imagine you're a black dude.

00:01:54.000 Some girl grabs your penis and she goes, oh, it's so beautiful.

00:01:56.000 It looks like a giant piece of shit.

00:02:00.000 Thanks.

00:02:01.000 One time when we were tree planting, we were talking about poo and I was with my friend Derek Beckles, who I got him the job there, and he's half Canadian American, African Canadian, I guess they're called.

00:02:15.000 And I was like, oh, I just have explosive diarrhea every day, whatever.

00:02:18.000 My shit sucks.

00:02:19.000 I have a terrible diet.

00:02:20.000 And she goes, my poo is like nice brown.

00:02:25.000 It's like Derek Brown.

00:02:27.000 And she points to him.

00:02:29.000 I'm like, Megan, I don't think it's really appropriate for you to use human beings to describe your shit.

00:02:36.000 It's not really done.

00:02:39.000 Well, what's her name?

00:02:41.000 Princess Vita?

00:02:43.000 Kabir Merchant.

00:02:44.000 No, no, no.

00:02:45.000 At the very end of the video, the guy who...

00:02:49.000 There we go.

00:02:50.000 Princess Vitara.

00:02:51.000 Vitara.

00:02:52.000 Let's look up Princess Vitara.

00:02:54.000 I want to know.

00:02:54.000 I want to start knowing African countries and hating some and liking some.

00:02:59.000 Just like the aquarium guy.

00:03:01.000 I want to be like, oh, don't talk to Gavin about the Congo.

00:03:04.000 He's a total Kenya nigga.

00:03:06.000 You know?

00:03:08.000 I want to be like, I only like the Ivory Coast.

00:03:11.000 Princess Vitara.

00:03:13.000 I want to see more videos from her.

00:03:17.000 She literally does like to eat the poo-poo because she likes steaks to look like shit, right?

00:03:22.000 Yes.

00:03:22.000 This isn't a very family-friendly episode.

00:03:24.000 I have an Instagram with five posts.

00:03:28.000 I deleted all my old music.

00:03:30.000 I am rebanding myself.

00:03:31.000 I don't have to hyper-sexualize myself in order to be excessive.

00:03:35.000 This is the exact same thing that happened with I Wanna Fuck You With My Heels On You.

00:03:42.000 She was like, I'm disgusted with myself.

00:03:44.000 Yeah, she became a born-again Christian.

00:03:46.000 What's this song about?

00:03:47.000 Popcorn?

00:03:52.000 Oh, now she's...

00:03:53.000 Open your Bible!

00:03:54.000 Yes, it's very on the nose.

00:03:56.000 Wow.

00:03:57.000 Instead of on the pussy.

00:04:00.000 What happens?

00:04:01.000 They're really all or nothing, right?

00:04:04.000 I like big Bible and I like to read about Psalms.

00:04:08.000 I like a Bible as big as a pile of shit.

00:04:13.000 That'd be funny if she doesn't quite get her rebranding well.

00:04:16.000 I want to fuck Jesus Christ in the S. I love God and all the things.

00:04:21.000 I want God to eat my pussy in a pile of shit.

00:04:27.000 Like, wow, this is worse than before.

00:04:29.000 I prefer, just go back to the big dick stuff.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:33.000 We don't want you, Christians say.

00:04:35.000 At least that was procreation.

00:04:37.000 Your analogies are disturbing.

00:04:39.000 What's this?

00:04:39.000 The mantis shrimp.

00:04:41.000 That is a mantis?

00:04:43.000 Why?

00:04:43.000 We're not progressing very well with that.

00:04:45.000 I have to look up how to keep it good.

00:04:48.000 Also, when I was upstate, I wanted to steal a bunch of salamandas, red Fs, which is illegal.

00:04:56.000 It is illegal to domesticate wild animals.

00:04:59.000 I don't know why.

00:05:00.000 Who gives a shit about a fucking lizard on the ground?

00:05:04.000 But I wanted to build a terrarium.

00:05:06.000 But once we were up there, we were high in the mountains.

00:05:10.000 It was too dry for the lizard.

00:05:12.000 And to go on a lizard trip, I fucked up and I said no.

00:05:15.000 Plus, I had to get back here and entertain you guys.

00:05:18.000 A lizard trip.

00:05:20.000 Are these things venomous?

00:05:23.000 He was just showing this red.

00:05:24.000 There we go.

00:05:25.000 This guy, right?

00:05:26.000 Red F?

00:05:27.000 Yeah, no, they're not remotely lizard.

00:05:36.000 Okay, well, we're not going to eat them.

00:05:37.000 Oh, I guess they are toxic.

00:05:39.000 At one point, I had 14 of those features in a terrarium.

00:05:44.000 They keep really well.

00:05:45.000 You'd only have to feed them once every couple weeks, once a week at the most.

00:05:48.000 Buy some crickets from the pet store.

00:05:50.000 They're awesome.

00:05:51.000 When was this?

00:05:52.000 When we lived upstate, I would just pick up a rock.

00:05:55.000 It's so rocky down there in the Catskills near the Delaware.

00:05:58.000 They've never had any arable land.

00:06:00.000 They never had an industry.

00:06:01.000 They never had lumber.

00:06:02.000 Pennsylvania had lumber, but the New York side never did.

00:06:04.000 Sometimes Pennsylvania would throw as a bone.

00:06:06.000 This is where my neighbors were Mark Ruffalo and Albert Hammond Jr.

00:06:11.000 Mark Ruffalo was seminal in banning fracking in the neighborhood, making sure no local kids, young men, could have jobs, and they got to go to Afghanistan, have the time of their lives.

00:06:25.000 Thanks, Mark.

00:06:26.000 Cares more about his precious home's drinking water than the lives of the locals.

00:06:32.000 But yeah, if you were going to plant a tree, you would bring a pickaxe.

00:06:38.000 That's how rocky it was.

00:06:39.000 You didn't need to bring a shovel.

00:06:41.000 You just lift out the rocks and the little bit of dirt that was there, you could take out with your hands.

00:06:46.000 And anyway, every time I picked up a rock, there was a little red F. They start aquatic, they start as newts, and then they become land dwellers, then they go back to the river to die, back to the pond.

00:07:03.000 I don't know if that's true of all salamanders, but it's cool.

00:07:08.000 So we should do both of that.

00:07:09.000 I want to have a terrarium with salamanders, red Fs.

00:07:15.000 That is awesome.

00:07:15.000 That's cool because it's illegal.

00:07:18.000 Hell yeah.

00:07:19.000 And then I also want to have a mantis shrimp.

00:07:23.000 And I also like the idea of going to the pet store to buy food.

00:07:28.000 Like you buy little guppies or something for the mantis shrimp, and then you buy a bunch of crickets for the salamanders.

00:07:33.000 Yeah.

00:07:34.000 It seems very Bond villain.

00:07:36.000 Hello, Mr. Bond.

00:07:38.000 I'm just killing crickets and tiny fish.

00:07:44.000 You're making a thing eat other things?

00:07:45.000 Yeah, it's awesome.

00:07:46.000 Live bait.

00:07:47.000 Why do you have...

00:07:48.000 I understand why you have one cord going through your window for the bar cam, although we should fix that.

00:07:53.000 But why is the other cord going through your window?

00:07:56.000 Oh, that was to mic up Maddie.

00:07:59.000 We had to...

00:08:00.000 Mike up Maddie?

00:08:01.000 We had to use a directional mic for him.

00:08:03.000 Oh, but we're going to go through.

00:08:05.000 Both of those can go through the hole.

00:08:06.000 And it was a different direction.

00:08:09.000 So it was going out to that second speaker, and then I had to flip that male piece inside, and then that piece out to the mic.

00:08:18.000 So I had to do a flip.

00:08:21.000 That sounds dumb and wrong.

00:08:22.000 No.

00:08:23.000 At some point, it's plugged into the board.

00:08:24.000 So make that point go through the hole into the board.

00:08:27.000 So there is a female clip.

00:08:30.000 The female clip goes into the.

00:08:35.000 It takes the mic.

00:08:36.000 Right.

00:08:37.000 Whatever's plugged into your thing can be unplugged, then put through the hole and replugged.

00:08:43.000 No, because that was an output.

00:08:45.000 So it was going from the board to the speaker.

00:08:47.000 Yeah, that doesn't matter, though.

00:08:48.000 It does.

00:08:49.000 Just whatever's plugged into the board, unplug it, put it through the hole and re-plug it.

00:08:53.000 It was not going through the hole.

00:08:55.000 Even the cord itself.

00:08:55.000 I know, but it can now.

00:08:57.000 It doesn't have enough space to go through.

00:09:00.000 It's got plenty of space.

00:09:01.000 Even pulling...

00:09:01.000 Try to pull on that cord.

00:09:03.000 Even just the cord part was not going through.

00:09:05.000 I had to rip it out.

00:09:08.000 You mean from the camera now?

00:09:09.000 The head would not come out.

00:09:10.000 Like, this is the head part that's thicker than the cord part, and this part was not going through easy.

00:09:16.000 So this part would not go through at all.

00:09:18.000 That sounds suspicious.

00:09:20.000 I mean, why don't you explain what happened last night?

00:09:24.000 We didn't get up till 3 in the morning?

00:09:25.000 Yeah, the encoder said that the audio bit rate changed an hour into the video.

00:09:31.000 I don't know, which isn't true.

00:09:33.000 So I just re-exported it.

00:09:36.000 Twice I tried to upload it, like make a new show, and then the third time I just re-exported it and then uploaded it.

00:09:42.000 People complain about all that stuff.

00:09:43.000 Guys, it's a live show.

00:09:44.000 You want to watch the show on Thursdays?

00:09:46.000 Then tune in from 9 to 11.

00:09:48.000 You get the show.

00:09:49.000 Also, we're figuring out a way to just repost the stream in the meantime.

00:09:52.000 We're just going to do that.

00:09:53.000 And it's slightly lower quality.

00:09:55.000 Yeah.

00:09:55.000 My bubble burst.

00:09:57.000 My internet.com boom burst.

00:10:01.000 Amazon is not worth 250 times anim anymore.

00:10:05.000 Curtis said, because he's a chef, he's like, wait till it, you think it's painful now?

00:10:09.000 Wait till it bursts.

00:10:10.000 Zero pain.

00:10:12.000 Absolutely nothing at all.

00:10:14.000 So I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

00:10:16.000 If the skin tears off, that hurts.

00:10:19.000 You know, like, but the bursting doesn't hurt.

00:10:21.000 I was going to tell you that before, but I was like, maybe you know something that I don't.

00:10:24.000 But if you reveal the skin under it, that hurts.

00:10:27.000 So is this guy peeling the skin off?

00:10:29.000 That's a totally different thing.

00:10:30.000 Totally different thing.

00:10:32.000 That's like someone says stubbing your toe really, really hurts.

00:10:35.000 And you go, no, it doesn't, but chopping your foot off hurts.

00:10:38.000 Yeah, he's like, but the stubbing happens first.

00:10:45.000 Ryan found the crybaby.

00:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:48.000 So let's do a new segment called yesterday's news.

00:10:51.000 Inevitably, when we talk about something, we're going to find the clip later, or people are going to send in shit going, you should have mentioned this guy.

00:10:58.000 So new segment starting now, yesterday's news.

00:11:02.000 And as we were wrapping up last night and the show was over, Ryan dug up the crybaby from the end of yesterday's show.

00:11:11.000 By the way, look at my shirts are all perfect now, Nita Fashions.

00:11:15.000 One great thing about the South Bronx, besides the mysterious knock, knock on the window, which has me freaked out, because the more you think about it, the more it's like, we're here, we know you're here.

00:11:26.000 And then he leaves.

00:11:28.000 It's not like, hey, guys.

00:11:30.000 It's not friendly.

00:11:32.000 It's foreboding.

00:11:33.000 But anyway, I get my shirts, and I had like eight shirts, right?

00:11:40.000 And she goes, I should have known something was going to be going well because you walk in and it's sweltering.

00:11:46.000 There's zero AC.

00:11:47.000 It's 95 degrees.

00:11:49.000 And she's just sweating like a pig, doesn't care, which is good because it shows that she's not greedy.

00:11:56.000 And she goes, that'll be $16, please.

00:11:58.000 It's $2 each.

00:12:00.000 That's crazy.

00:12:02.000 Or you go down, what's that big street that has all the, where you get your car fixed?

00:12:07.000 Jerome, which we're not far from.

00:12:10.000 Jerome Boulevard.

00:12:11.000 I could blindfold you, put you on a plane, make the plane sound like it was going up, like make it land again.

00:12:20.000 We could have just gone in circles.

00:12:21.000 Drive to Jerome and go, well, what do you think of Africa?

00:12:25.000 And you go, wow, it's almost like America.

00:12:28.000 I can see the roads are in.

00:12:29.000 There's no rhyme or reason to the roads.

00:12:31.000 If you rode a skateboard on the roads of Jerome, you would die.

00:12:34.000 A bicycle couldn't handle it.

00:12:35.000 A mountain bike, maybe.

00:12:37.000 Cars, you're just going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:12:40.000 You have to go one mile an hour.

00:12:42.000 But they'll fix your tire for 50 bucks.

00:12:44.000 Boom.

00:12:45.000 Replace it, I mean.

00:12:46.000 I don't mean like patch it.

00:12:47.000 Totally replace your tire for 50 bucks.

00:12:49.000 We don't know where they got the tires from.

00:12:52.000 I think they're from the garbage.

00:12:54.000 I think they're just tires that shouldn't be on the road.

00:12:58.000 But still, that's the South Bronx, the Boogie Down Bronx.

00:13:01.000 We're blending right in.

00:13:05.000 But yeah, perfect shirt.

00:13:07.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:13:09.000 Let's see this crybaby.

00:13:10.000 It's a great way to start a fun weekend.

00:13:12.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.

00:13:15.000 And yes, I was wrong.

00:13:16.000 Ryan was right.

00:13:17.000 It wasn't that he was raped.

00:13:20.000 It's that he was beaten.

00:13:21.000 She hit him.

00:13:22.000 And he goes, domestic violence has no gender.

00:13:24.000 Dude, I've watched Ryan get beaten by a previous girl.

00:13:29.000 Yeah.

00:13:30.000 I have it on video.

00:13:31.000 He won't let me show it.

00:13:33.000 No.

00:13:33.000 What?

00:13:34.000 No.

00:13:35.000 But not only are you not a man if you complain about being hit by a woman, you're not a man if you remember it.

00:13:44.000 Like, remember I told you about my buddy who got in a fight with that black dude?

00:13:47.000 Because the black guy said to him, move your car, nigga.

00:13:54.000 When I reminded him about it a few days later, he goes, what?

00:13:57.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.

00:13:59.000 That was some bullshit.

00:14:00.000 He was talking fucking trash.

00:14:01.000 And I went to fight him.

00:14:02.000 And he kept doing that backup thing.

00:14:03.000 And then a bunch of other guys came out and the bouncer took me back into the bar.

00:14:06.000 Police had to take me to my car.

00:14:09.000 I forgot about that.

00:14:11.000 That was much more consequential.

00:14:13.000 And he forgot about that.

00:14:14.000 So he's more of a man than you and I. But to remember a girl losing her shit.

00:14:21.000 Why are we even talking to her?

00:14:23.000 Fuck you.

00:14:23.000 I hate you.

00:14:24.000 And you like hold her wrist.

00:14:25.000 You go, calm down, calm down.

00:14:28.000 That was my mother I was talking to.

00:14:30.000 I kissed her because I was kissing her goodbye.

00:14:32.000 It was Mother's Day.

00:14:34.000 Well, you brought her flowers.

00:14:35.000 You want to fuck her?

00:14:36.000 No, I don't want to fuck my mother.

00:14:38.000 Calm down.

00:14:40.000 You know what my mom will do sometimes?

00:14:42.000 She's had a few sips.

00:14:44.000 She'll give my brother's girlfriend a brooch or something, right?

00:14:50.000 And then...

00:14:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:52.000 Have I told you this before?

00:14:53.000 The girlfriend, he'll be going to visit my parents, and he'll say to the girlfriend, can you wear that stupid, hideous brooch from a Salvation Army?

00:15:00.000 Because my mom will shop at the Salvation Army.

00:15:03.000 That's her, like, Macy's.

00:15:04.000 So she'll go in, buy garbage.

00:15:07.000 The Salvation Army is a...

00:15:09.000 It's indistinguishable from the dump.

00:15:12.000 It looks exactly the same.

00:15:14.000 It's fucking garbage.

00:15:15.000 They don't even try.

00:15:17.000 Like, you can't tell what is the do not enter back room and what is the front room.

00:15:22.000 Just shit everywhere.

00:15:24.000 So she'll go into that shit shack and she'll just buy like some brooch or some fake costume jewelry or like, I don't know, a little boot, ceramic boot that you could put a dandelion in.

00:15:35.000 Like shit nobody wants.

00:15:36.000 That's why it's at the Salvation Army.

00:15:38.000 She'll give it to her and then my brother will say, can you wear that while we visit her?

00:15:41.000 It mean a lot to her.

00:15:42.000 And then my mother will see it, forget she gave it to her, and assume that not only did this woman rob her of her incredibly valuable $1.80 brooch, but that the woman is fucking gloating.

00:15:55.000 Or she forgot she stole it.

00:15:58.000 Emal, you're the one who forgot.

00:16:01.000 Okay, that's not your typical Sally Ann.

00:16:05.000 Like, that guy cares.

00:16:06.000 That's rare.

00:16:09.000 The ones in the Bronx have to be seen to be believed.

00:16:11.000 I was just there waiting for money to pick me up, which took longer than it would have taken for me to walk to the studio.

00:16:16.000 But anyway, that's cool.

00:16:19.000 From where I was.

00:16:21.000 And then she says to my brother, like, come here.

00:16:24.000 Your girlfriend was just caught red-handed.

00:16:28.000 And it'll be a huge dramatic thing.

00:16:31.000 Or she had this little guy.

00:16:33.000 It was on a piece of, like, iron ore, and it was a little gold man.

00:16:36.000 And when I say little, I mean like the size of an eyeball, this big.

00:16:40.000 And she goes, your friends stole my wee fool's gold piece.

00:16:46.000 And he goes, hey, I found this in the basement.

00:16:48.000 Is this what you're talking about?

00:16:49.000 And she goes, oh, all right.

00:16:51.000 Well, the wee gold man is gone.

00:16:53.000 And that's pure gold.

00:16:55.000 Meanwhile, that means it's worth like, I don't know, $45.

00:16:58.000 It's minuscule.

00:17:00.000 I could swallow it and my stomach would be fine.

00:17:02.000 I could hide it up my nose for a year.

00:17:05.000 If it was a dick, Lady Vitara would not be happy.

00:17:08.000 She would not be interested.

00:17:10.000 If it was a dick, people would go, oh no, someone cut Ryan's dick off.

00:17:14.000 And they turned it into gold.

00:17:18.000 So I tell my wife this story and my wife goes, I think she gave me that once.

00:17:23.000 And like a year later, she's going through a junk drawer and she sends me a picture and there is the little iron or I mean little gold man.

00:17:35.000 Anyway, I don't know how I got there, but being hit by a woman is literally nothing.

00:17:43.000 The salvation.

00:17:46.000 She forgets.

00:17:47.000 That was the whole thing.

00:17:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:48.000 You shouldn't remember it, right?

00:17:50.000 You definitely shouldn't report it.

00:17:52.000 Crying about it?

00:17:54.000 Well, I mean.

00:17:57.000 I don't think you're an earthling.

00:17:59.000 You don't belong on earth.

00:18:02.000 You can talk about that shit right now.

00:18:03.000 But I feel like I need to.

00:18:05.000 Okay.

00:18:05.000 Because.

00:18:08.000 Sorry.

00:18:09.000 Say sorry to me, man.

00:18:10.000 Say sorry to camera.

00:18:11.000 This is the only place we could find a list of ghetto commentary, which is.

00:18:15.000 Believe it or not, he deleted it.

00:18:18.000 One expects dead lover to be a monster, but that shit happened all the time.

00:18:21.000 His mom should have deleted it when she was pregnant with him.

00:18:25.000 To be honest, I didn't think I was going to get emotional at all.

00:18:27.000 I thought that.

00:18:29.000 I thought that I'm tough now.

00:18:30.000 I have dealt with this.

00:18:31.000 It's...

00:18:32.000 What's looking at the snot?

00:18:34.000 What do you want to see there?

00:18:35.000 That's him being tough.

00:18:36.000 He goes, the little gold man you stuck up there a year ago?

00:18:39.000 Why are you looking at your thumb?

00:18:41.000 No at all.

00:18:41.000 I thought that.

00:18:43.000 I thought that I'm tough now.

00:18:44.000 I have dealt with this.

00:18:45.000 It's...

00:18:46.000 I thought it's something that...

00:18:48.000 Please look at your hand.

00:18:49.000 Yes.

00:18:51.000 You did it.

00:18:52.000 We covered this years ago when it first came out.

00:18:53.000 Toronto has zero testosterone in it at all.

00:18:57.000 It's all gone.

00:18:59.000 It has the weakest men in the world.

00:19:04.000 Okay, get your mascara.

00:19:06.000 What?

00:19:07.000 And then he looks at it.

00:19:08.000 That is bizarre.

00:19:09.000 He looks at his mascara.

00:19:12.000 Dude, you're not wearing mascara.

00:19:14.000 You're mimicking a woman crying.

00:19:17.000 This is sort of like gays when they're like, hi, girl.

00:19:21.000 And you go, you're mimicking woman, but I don't know any woman who act like that.

00:19:25.000 So this is weird.

00:19:26.000 Now, hold on a second.

00:19:27.000 Nicole Arbor.

00:19:29.000 Yes.

00:19:29.000 She remade That entire This Is America video from Childish Gambino.

00:19:33.000 Correct.

00:19:34.000 Childish Gambino is a man.

00:19:36.000 Yes.

00:19:36.000 But she embodied him.

00:19:38.000 Is it possible Nicole Arbor has some technology where she dresses up like man, and this is actually a female her pretending to be him?

00:19:49.000 That's a great theory.

00:19:50.000 In the future, can you just speak all your theories directly into the garbage?

00:19:54.000 Yeah, yes.

00:19:55.000 Save the middleman being my ears.

00:19:58.000 Okay.

00:19:59.000 I spoke to Nicole after this, and she was very wary of me because she knows I'm a blabber mouth, and I'll be saying it on a microphone, on a television many times.

00:20:07.000 But she was like, yeah, it was shockingly embarrassing.

00:20:11.000 And it's not like she took him out.

00:20:13.000 This was like a, god damn it.

00:20:17.000 And then he probably, oh my God, what would you pay to see the actual hit?

00:20:21.000 And his reaction is he went, oh, am I bleeding?

00:20:26.000 Do I call the police, right?

00:20:27.000 I mean, what do I do?

00:20:29.000 I don't want you to go to jail, Nicole.

00:20:32.000 But what do you expect me to do?

00:20:34.000 You just committed a crime.

00:20:37.000 Wait till my mother hears about this.

00:20:39.000 I'm buried deep in what I would never talk about again.

00:20:43.000 Okay, now we'll do it.

00:20:44.000 But I feel compelled to because.

00:20:46.000 Man, I'm fucking waiting, man.

00:20:50.000 I was in an abusive relationship.

00:20:52.000 Oh, shit.

00:20:52.000 Here we go.

00:20:53.000 I was in a relationship with an individual who...

00:20:57.000 When I first got with them, everything was everything was better than you could ever imagine.

00:21:04.000 Oh, that's how they get chilled.

00:21:05.000 That's the point insulting to my imagination.

00:21:08.000 Man, you gotta tell me this is age, man.

00:21:10.000 I was made to feel sexy.

00:21:13.000 Ah, you sexy now.

00:21:14.000 You know, I don't let them lie to you now.

00:21:16.000 And that that person was all that I ever needed.

00:21:20.000 All right, that's enough.

00:21:21.000 I don't think we get more crying.

00:21:24.000 By the way, Nicole Arbor's off frame there.

00:21:30.000 There's a little more crying.

00:21:31.000 And by the way, I think that he hit big with this video, so he replicated this, like this formula.

00:21:36.000 And check this out.

00:21:38.000 Just, you know, while trying to look for this video, I found some other ones.

00:21:42.000 Everything I own was stolen.

00:21:44.000 So I'm guessing that was the most viral he's ever been, right?

00:21:47.000 So now he's Cry Guy.

00:21:49.000 This one's I Lost a Friend Today.

00:21:52.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:54.000 He used to not do these just bitching and crying things.

00:21:57.000 He used to do like goofy vlogs.

00:21:58.000 Like, hey guys, I just went shopping.

00:22:00.000 About spooky things, like top 10 drone footage things found in the woods.

00:22:05.000 Or whatever.

00:22:05.000 And now it's Cry Guy.

00:22:07.000 I'm going to try to get through this video.

00:22:08.000 That's a real pet peeve of mine is the ring around your neck.

00:22:13.000 First off, what is that?

00:22:15.000 You don't have fingers?

00:22:17.000 Why don't you have a sock around your neck, too?

00:22:19.000 Or some earrings?

00:22:22.000 I can't.

00:22:23.000 And I just got a phone call from them saying that the trailer that was holding all of my stuff has been stolen.

00:22:36.000 That doesn't happen.

00:22:38.000 You're lying.

00:22:39.000 It doesn't say that.

00:22:40.000 You're lying.

00:22:43.000 It doesn't say that.

00:22:44.000 You're a liar.

00:22:46.000 Although I will say, as a thief, that's at least something decent to steal.

00:22:50.000 I hate people stealing one Amazon package.

00:22:52.000 What's going to be like kids' monopoly?

00:22:54.000 But you steal an entire trailer, odds are you're going to have a pretty good setup.

00:23:01.000 This one's he lost a friend.

00:23:05.000 This is not the way I wanted to start my week.

00:23:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:23:09.000 Every time he does one of these two, he's so, he can't believe he has to do this.

00:23:13.000 I have to.

00:23:14.000 It's like I didn't think I was going to be doing this.

00:23:16.000 I don't usually do vlogs where I cry, except every single day.

00:23:21.000 And it always wanted the best for them.

00:23:26.000 And I know now that they know the full level of my gratitude for their friendship and early in my career.

00:23:34.000 And to be honest, this individual largely was responsible for giving me my shot.

00:23:42.000 This is also a very gay woman thing to say this individual and this person, it's like go on a hunt, try to find.

00:23:51.000 I am married to a certain person who hit me for reasons that I won't mention.

00:23:58.000 Yeah.

00:23:59.000 Like, like, what's her name?

00:24:01.000 Kale's girl, who says, this is what it's like to be in an abusive relationship and shows her legs all bruised up.

00:24:07.000 People obviously go back and see that she was dating Kale Hartman and his life was flushed down the toilet.

00:24:11.000 Was that Heather or something?

00:24:12.000 I didn't do anything.

00:24:15.000 Heather something, wasn't it?

00:24:16.000 I forget her name.

00:24:18.000 All right, let's move on.

00:24:19.000 The gay chorus from yesterday.

00:24:23.000 So we said, look, we're not scared of gays, but we don't like you shoving, and this is an unfortunate analogy, shoving your sexuality, your proclivities, your perversions, your kink down our children's throats, like Drag Queen Story Hour, that woman who said, kink belongs,

00:24:38.000 your kids should know about the kink at the parade.

00:24:43.000 And then we also said, but you do tend to be disproportionately represented in inappropriate sexual behavior.

00:24:52.000 And now it turns out that, according to 4chan, a lot of the guys in that video who are members of that chorus are sex offenders.

00:25:03.000 There's Keith Aaron Pepper.

00:25:06.000 What was his?

00:25:06.000 Lewed or lascivious acts with a child under 14?

00:25:11.000 That's not good.

00:25:12.000 It's not good for you to be singing, we're coming for your children.

00:25:16.000 What's this guy got?

00:25:20.000 Move the offenses over.

00:25:21.000 They're behind my head.

00:25:24.000 Oh, the same exact charge.

00:25:26.000 Yeah.

00:25:27.000 These are the guys singing away about, we're coming for your children.

00:25:31.000 We're going to convert them.

00:25:34.000 This is gay privilege.

00:25:38.000 Like, if a mega person swears, jaywalks, farts on a Thursday, they never hear the end of it.

00:25:46.000 No, like I said choke a tranny once.

00:25:48.000 It was in reaction to guys calling themselves trannies and spitting in people's faces.

00:25:52.000 That will follow me and my children for the rest of my life.

00:25:55.000 These guys fuck kids and then get on a video where They mock us for being wary of them and say, Yeah, we are going to attack your children.

00:26:08.000 We're going to attack their negative attitudes and make them positive people.

00:26:11.000 No, no, it turns out you're literally going to attack our children and sexually assault them.

00:26:18.000 Raymond Mark Gonzalez.

00:26:21.000 And here's the elephant in the room, too, with this gay thing.

00:26:23.000 If you have a room of 100 gays, you're going to have a lot more sex offenders than if you have a room of 100 straights.

00:26:31.000 That's just a hate fact.

00:26:32.000 I'm sorry.

00:26:36.000 Second tenor.

00:26:39.000 Anyway, I thought this is not really related, but it is related.

00:26:43.000 Chelsea Clinton, of all people.

00:26:45.000 She's my mentor.

00:26:46.000 I want to be like her one day.

00:26:48.000 Chelsea 2024.

00:26:50.000 Wouldn't that be funny if she ran and won and was amazing?

00:26:55.000 She was Ron Reagan, Maggie Thatcher combined, and just dismantled the government, privatized everything.

00:27:00.000 Please don't comment on kids' appearances.

00:27:03.000 Please don't invade kids' privacy.

00:27:04.000 Please don't, quote-unquote, joke about kids.

00:27:07.000 Please leave kids alone and let kids be kids.

00:27:09.000 Now, that would be very brave if it was about this gay choir or any of this gay shit.

00:27:20.000 And then lastly, in the kids thing, this doesn't really belong in this subject, but I can't not mention this big story about this guy who kidnapped a girl, picked her up, we're hearing about it because he's white, picked her up off her bike, she's six years old, throws her in the car and drives off.

00:27:38.000 Should a six-year-old be riding her bike alone?

00:27:41.000 She was in front of the house.

00:27:43.000 Depends on the neighborhood.

00:27:44.000 The neighborhood looked all right.

00:27:47.000 I guess not these days.

00:27:49.000 Well, the good news is there was some guy in his porch.

00:27:51.000 So actually, it was safe in a sense because she was being monitored.

00:27:56.000 They call the cops.

00:27:57.000 They don't go and beat him.

00:27:59.000 I mean, I would just say just ram into the car.

00:28:02.000 Ram into the front of the car and get her out of there.

00:28:04.000 But they were more prudent.

00:28:06.000 They called the police.

00:28:06.000 They followed her.

00:28:08.000 And then the cops got him.

00:28:11.000 He's an ugly little creep.

00:28:13.000 You know what sucks too, right?

00:28:14.000 Let's say you're trying to save an endangered kid.

00:28:18.000 They're lost or something.

00:28:19.000 You're like, oh, I'll give you a ride back home.

00:28:20.000 You can't do that anymore because these ruin it for people.

00:28:23.000 Because now there are so many pedophiles.

00:28:25.000 But that used to be a thing.

00:28:26.000 No, no, no, Brian.

00:28:27.000 You can do that.

00:28:29.000 What you can't do is grab a kid off her bike, throw her in the car, and then say, I was taking her home because she was at home.

00:28:34.000 But if you see a kid in trouble.

00:28:37.000 You don't think you'd be a little more...

00:28:39.000 Oh, everyone's wary of kids today because of all this fucking pedophilia, everything.

00:28:44.000 Like Bill Burr was like, dude, I can't be near a kid.

00:28:46.000 Yeah.

00:28:47.000 I don't want to be like in five feet of a kid.

00:28:49.000 No, that's the way it is.

00:28:50.000 Everyone's scared of them now.

00:28:52.000 But if I see a kid in trouble, I'm going to risk going to jail to get that kid home and safe.

00:28:56.000 True.

00:28:56.000 But in that whole thing, remember what Anthony said when compound censored?

00:28:59.000 He's like, if I see a guy beating up a chick and then I start intervening, she's going to start hitting me and be like, get the fuck out of here.

00:29:05.000 He's like, fuck that.

00:29:07.000 I'm done being a hero.

00:29:08.000 Yeah, we differ on that.

00:29:10.000 It's funny.

00:29:10.000 I love it when someone you share everything on and they go, no, I don't like that.

00:29:15.000 But he made a valid point about that.

00:29:17.000 Yeah, well, Howard Stern is like that too.

00:29:19.000 If Howard Stern sees anything outside his limousine, like an 18-year-old girl getting beaten by a seven-year-old boy, he's still like, no, thanks.

00:29:29.000 Actually, I would that too.

00:29:31.000 But you know what I mean?

00:29:32.000 Like, no matter how easy it would be to handle the situation, he's just like, not for me.

00:29:35.000 But that's because he's a pussy, though.

00:29:36.000 Like, Anthony, I think, came around.

00:29:38.000 He was like, yeah, I used to think that way, but now it's like, fuck it.

00:29:41.000 Yeah, well, Anthony's obviously not coming from a pussy place.

00:29:44.000 He's coming from a fuck them place.

00:29:46.000 Yeah.

00:29:47.000 You fucked up.

00:29:47.000 You shouldn't have been there.

00:29:49.000 Yeah, don't date him.

00:29:51.000 Okay, so now in yesterday's news, we have Avenati, which obviously we're not going to get 100% of the things.

00:29:58.000 Great memes coming out, especially from Carpe Donktum, our very own Carpe.

00:30:04.000 You know the guy who hung out with the president?

00:30:07.000 Why is it everyone else kissed to hang out with the president?

00:30:09.000 It makes me very upset.

00:30:10.000 If you were never canceled, you'd be on Fox News every night.

00:30:12.000 You'd be at the White House.

00:30:13.000 I'd go with you.

00:30:14.000 Actually, I probably would never hang out with you.

00:30:15.000 I was on Fox News every night.

00:30:16.000 It's boring.

00:30:17.000 Yeah, but you'd stay on there.

00:30:18.000 It takes six hours out of your day for like five minutes of content at the most.

00:30:28.000 And by the way, I was thinking of that when we were getting ready for the show today.

00:30:31.000 It's so top heavy, these big shows.

00:30:34.000 Like with Red Eye, all the guests contribute their feelings on the topics.

00:30:38.000 Before you get to the topics, like four researchers all pitch 15 news items.

00:30:46.000 So that's 60 news items.

00:30:48.000 There's room for like 15.

00:30:50.000 And then the host, he has like 15 of his own.

00:30:53.000 We get 75 plus the guests, and you have to whittle that down to 15.

00:30:57.000 It's idiotic.

00:30:59.000 It's like caterers making enough food for a wedding, and then one man, like Mugabe, sits there with all his different food items and has a little bite of each.

00:31:10.000 I've heard that from comics delete.

00:31:11.000 They try to write for it, and they're like, they don't even hit any of the topics you wrote for.

00:31:15.000 Really?

00:31:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:17.000 Like Nick Mullen was like, he used to be on Red Eye with Dave Smith.

00:31:22.000 You can't write for Red Eye.

00:31:24.000 Well, they give you topics like an hour before or so.

00:31:26.000 Yeah, those are the questions.

00:31:28.000 And then you prepare for it, and he's like, sometimes you don't even get to half the things.

00:31:32.000 Yeah, whatever.

00:31:32.000 Anyway, this is a good meme.

00:31:44.000 Last night, Tucker was saying you shouldn't gloat.

00:31:46.000 It's not right to gloat about someone going to prison.

00:31:48.000 Ah, I'm gloating.

00:31:50.000 I'm gloating it up.

00:32:00.000 Avenatti said Trump is going to president.

00:32:03.000 Sorry, Trump is going to prison.

00:32:05.000 No one looked him up.

00:32:06.000 They just said that guy found someone that Trump fucked, probably.

00:32:11.000 And that's good enough for us.

00:32:13.000 Because it's horrible for a billionaire New Yorker who's been famous almost his entire life to have fucked a slut.

00:32:23.000 That's their smoking gun.

00:32:25.000 I'm old enough to remember when Michael Avenatti said Trump was going to prison.

00:32:29.000 Next.

00:32:31.000 Next picture.

00:32:33.000 Remember when CNN and the liberals wanted him to run for president?

00:32:36.000 Guess he really was the perfect scumbag for them.

00:32:38.000 President Michael Avenatti, never say never.

00:32:41.000 Meanwhile, this guy's doing so much coke that when you tell him that kind of shit, he's like, yes, I am going to be the next president.

00:32:50.000 And then Tucker's show had a great montage.

00:32:54.000 It starts at 15 seconds in.

00:32:56.000 This is 1-7 of how I forgot how far up their ass, how far up Avenatti's ass the left was.

00:33:07.000 Turn it up.

00:33:10.000 They called him a future president.

00:33:12.000 That's value most.

00:33:13.000 If they decide they value a fighter most, people would be foolish to underestimate Michael Avenatti.

00:33:19.000 Existential threat to the Trump presidency.

00:33:21.000 Please welcome attorney Michael Avenatti.

00:33:26.000 No one has talked tougher directly to Donald Trump on TV than Michael Avenatti.

00:33:32.000 And Donald Trump is afraid to mention his name.

00:33:35.000 Michael Avenatti is a beast.

00:33:36.000 Okay, that's true.

00:33:38.000 He's a beast.

00:33:39.000 And he keeps popping Donald Trump and all of his folks in the mouth repeatedly.

00:33:44.000 He's a beast.

00:33:45.000 And so John Meacham says he may be the savior of the Republic.

00:33:48.000 I owe Michael Avenatti an apology.

00:33:51.000 For the last couple of weeks, I've been saying enough for Reading, Michael.

00:33:53.000 I've seen you everywhere.

00:33:54.000 What do you have left to say?

00:33:56.000 I was wrong, brother.

00:33:59.000 Those are not cable news clips.

00:34:00.000 That was a good one.

00:34:00.000 I was wrong, brother.

00:34:02.000 They showed Eddie Gowd there.

00:34:03.000 Remember Eddie Gowd?

00:34:04.000 Go to the second link in 27e.

00:34:06.000 I think he might be my favorite black dir in the world.

00:34:09.000 He's got that, think I know why.

00:34:12.000 That I want to start doing the show like this.

00:34:15.000 Welcome back again to get off my alarm.

00:34:19.000 We are here figuratively, digitally, but I think we're together.

00:34:28.000 We're together in a struggle, a struggle not to define ourselves, but to define one another in a context of history that is about recognizing the past and how we got here.

00:34:47.000 But more importantly, moving forward and defining ourselves not by our past, which we recognize and are not absolved from, but moving forward into our future.

00:35:01.000 That is the America I know and love.

00:35:06.000 It's not here today, and it's not great, but it's out there.

00:35:14.000 And is it up to these leaders, these pundits, these politicians?

00:35:18.000 Is it up to them to choose it, to define it, to make it real?

00:35:24.000 No.

00:35:25.000 It's up to you.

00:35:28.000 And just as much, it's up to me.

00:35:30.000 Just as much.

00:35:32.000 There is no justice.

00:35:34.000 It is just us.

00:35:36.000 And we are going to form a conspiracy not for evil, but we are conspiring for good.

00:35:46.000 And I think I know why.

00:35:50.000 Did you find the Eddie Gowd?

00:35:52.000 No, not that one.

00:35:53.000 The second one, I said.

00:35:55.000 27E.

00:35:57.000 That's Chris Ruffo, which is also good.

00:35:59.000 Look at his hands and his face.

00:36:00.000 His mannerisms are so self-absorbed.

00:36:04.000 It's like he's doing it on a TikTok in a bathroom mirror.

00:36:08.000 Ugh, stupid glasses.

00:36:10.000 Does his glasses always match his tie?

00:36:12.000 That's embarrassing, if so.

00:36:14.000 Princeton University?

00:36:16.000 Remember Ivy Leagues when you'd go, ooh, Harvard, Princeton?

00:36:20.000 Let me guess, this guy has a PhD in oppression.

00:36:24.000 You know, America's not unique in its sins as a country.

00:36:29.000 We're not unique in our evils, to be honest with you.

00:36:32.000 Thanks for laying it out.

00:36:33.000 I think where we may be singular is our refusal to acknowledge them and the legends and myths we hear about our past.

00:36:43.000 Refusal to acknowledge them?

00:36:45.000 What's critical race theory?

00:36:46.000 What is half the country screaming about?

00:36:49.000 As a day gone by where you haven't heard about the sins of our past and how we stole our land, your children are hearing it right now at fucking camp.

00:36:58.000 They're hearing it at baseball practice.

00:37:01.000 Don't steal third, the way that our ancestors stole land from the Indians.

00:37:07.000 Our refusal to recognize it, I wish.

00:37:10.000 Keep going.

00:37:13.000 You know, goodness to hide and cover and conceal.

00:37:17.000 Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything.

00:37:19.000 That protects our innocence.

00:37:21.000 See, the thing is that when the Tea Party was happening, we were saying pundits, oh, it's just about economic populism.

00:37:28.000 It's not about our answers.

00:37:29.000 People knew.

00:37:30.000 People knew social scientists were already writing that what was driving the Tea Party were anxieties about demographic shifts.

00:37:37.000 Right, right.

00:37:39.000 We were seeing these babies.

00:37:42.000 Tea Party had nothing to do with racism, you fucking loser.

00:37:52.000 Don't say anything, don't say anything.

00:37:53.000 From the top of their lungs, you know, this is not just simple economic populism.

00:37:58.000 This is the ugly underbelly of the country.

00:38:02.000 See, the thing is, is this, and I'll say this, and I'll take the hit on it.

00:38:06.000 The communities that have had to bear the brunt of America confronting, white Americans confronting the danger of their innocence.

00:38:14.000 And it happens every day.

00:38:15.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:38:16.000 That's enough.

00:38:17.000 I do love it.

00:38:18.000 And we've played that clip many times.

00:38:20.000 It's also arduous.

00:38:23.000 And it starts to chip away at you.

00:38:26.000 You know what I mean?

00:38:27.000 It's like...

00:38:28.000 Holy shit.

00:38:29.000 It's like shizmobbin or war movies.

00:38:32.000 After you've seen like 10 jihadists get their head blown off, you sort of go, all right, all right, all right.

00:38:36.000 But yeah, so his point there was, I told you that the Tea Party was all about racism.

00:38:42.000 You didn't believe me.

00:38:42.000 And now look, we have January 6th that was pure racism.

00:38:46.000 I warned you, and you're like, you haven't proven shit.

00:38:49.000 Go back and prove the Tea Party theory first.

00:38:51.000 Now prove Trump is all about race.

00:38:53.000 Now prove January 6th, the meandering was about race.

00:38:56.000 But what they do is their proof that They were right about America being racist, is that people don't want to be bombarded with critical race theory.

00:39:06.000 What?

00:39:07.000 So, the reason your theory's right is: I don't like you hammering your theory into my kids' heads.

00:39:13.000 So, I must be racist.

00:39:15.000 That's the worst logic I've ever heard.

00:39:17.000 And here is Eddie Gowd with that sanctimonious smirk.

00:39:21.000 I don't think I've seen this clip yet, but look how tired he is of Chris Ruffo's bullshit.

00:39:28.000 This is someone who's actually here to prove that America is being divided with Eddie Gowd's rhetoric.

00:39:37.000 I'm deeply concerned about the substance, but what I'm concerned about and what millions of parents are really concerned about is things that are happening in hundreds of public schools in Illinois and Chicago, where they're teaching kindergarten, children as young as kindergarten, that whiteness is the devil and attempts to lure people into it with the promise of stolen land and stolen riches.

00:39:58.000 That's a book that's being used in hundreds of schools, and people don't think that's right.

00:40:03.000 People want to know where it comes from.

00:40:04.000 People want to know what ideologies inform it.

00:40:07.000 I'm deeply concerned about the substance, but what I'm concerned about is that replaying this thread.

00:40:15.000 Maybe there's more.

00:40:17.000 Yeah, I could.

00:40:18.000 So he doesn't respond.

00:40:19.000 It's more just that face.

00:40:20.000 Like, he's rolling his eyes at Rufo's accusation that it's in schools.

00:40:24.000 Rufo's not making this up.

00:40:26.000 In fact, on his own Twitter thread, he listed all the reasons why, which is a courtesy that you get if you're on Twitter.

00:40:33.000 This is why I'm entering Trump's court case, because people make up shit about me, and I'm unable to defend myself, and then others link it as a fact.

00:40:44.000 There is no debate over critical race theory.

00:40:47.000 So that was a bit of a tangent.

00:40:49.000 But that kind of brings us to the meandering.

00:40:50.000 We're talking about the meandering.

00:40:52.000 Some kind of, it's mainstream.

00:40:55.000 One of our viewers sent this in.

00:40:57.000 January 6th meandering.

00:40:59.000 Cut to the background of them.

00:41:00.000 We have meandering footage, don't we?

00:41:03.000 By the way, have you been seeing all the submissions?

00:41:05.000 Yeah, there's been a lot coming through.

00:41:07.000 Are you getting them, though?

00:41:08.000 Have we declared a winner?

00:41:09.000 Do you read the mailbag?

00:41:10.000 I've gotten a good amount, but it seems like we kind of settled on the Jose panel.

00:41:14.000 No, no, no, Ryan.

00:41:15.000 Don't give me excuses for having not checked them out.

00:41:18.000 You literally, you swiped them away.

00:41:20.000 I said it's looking like it's going to be that guy.

00:41:21.000 That doesn't mean you ignore all the other submissions.

00:41:24.000 I remember bringing it up two or three shows ago, maybe two, three live shows ago.

00:41:28.000 Yeah, but you understand there's certain expressions like, who are we kidding?

00:41:31.000 It's going to be that guy that wins.

00:41:32.000 That doesn't literally mean it's definitely going to be that guy that wins.

00:41:39.000 You amassed all the submissions, then you put them in folders.

00:41:43.000 You got to learn that word.

00:41:45.000 Folders.

00:41:45.000 So you have a feminism folder.

00:41:48.000 And then that all goes in a folder that's called like backgrounds.

00:41:52.000 Okay.

00:41:53.000 I mean, should I say the conversation that we had?

00:41:57.000 Sure.

00:41:57.000 Okay.

00:41:58.000 I was like, are we going to keep checking out submissions?

00:42:00.000 Like, honestly, I think we've got to go with that Jose guy because they're all like similar.

00:42:04.000 So don't even bother.

00:42:05.000 No, I did not.

00:42:07.000 Definitely did not say don't even bother.

00:42:10.000 I never say that.

00:42:11.000 Do less work.

00:42:12.000 Don't make the show better.

00:42:14.000 Don't have more stuff.

00:42:16.000 Don't accrue more footage.

00:42:18.000 I don't say that.

00:42:20.000 I have loaded new ones in here and we never.

00:42:23.000 That's irrelevant to the conversation.

00:42:25.000 I mean, I had them in there.

00:42:26.000 I was like, should we show those?

00:42:27.000 And you're like, nah, don't.

00:42:29.000 Nah, don't.

00:42:30.000 You said, should we show those?

00:42:31.000 I said, nah, do not.

00:42:33.000 Not verbatim.

00:42:33.000 Do not have variety on this show.

00:42:35.000 I know how I feel, Ryan, and how I feel is maximum content, maximum variety.

00:42:41.000 Okay.

00:42:41.000 Well, I'm just...

00:42:43.000 The great thing about this contest is we have 9 million feminism things now.

00:42:48.000 All the submissions we still have.

00:42:50.000 And then there's the guy that's the winner.

00:42:51.000 Now, if I said, who are we kidding?

00:42:53.000 That main guy's going to be the winner.

00:42:55.000 That's an expression that means it's likely true.

00:42:58.000 98%.

00:42:59.000 You still have to allow for the 2%.

00:43:01.000 Yeah, no, I like it.

00:43:02.000 Anyway, are you getting all these submissions and organizing them into...

00:43:05.000 Write this down right now on your little notepad.

00:43:07.000 Organize submissions into folders.

00:43:12.000 Here's some other unseen ones that we never use here.

00:43:15.000 This one's really cool.

00:43:15.000 Oh, that one's awesome.

00:43:21.000 Then there's a new LGBT one.

00:43:23.000 I think I've mixed this one in.

00:43:25.000 Well, let me see a meandering one.

00:43:26.000 We got annoyed at the other one.

00:43:28.000 The meandering?

00:43:29.000 We'll look at those later.

00:43:30.000 Is this?

00:43:31.000 Let's make that on our to-do list for today to have a big judge.

00:43:34.000 I think the submission...

00:43:35.000 Well, I was still getting submissions today.

00:43:36.000 Maybe on Monday, we'll go through all the submissions and define the winner.

00:43:40.000 It's looking like this guy.

00:43:42.000 Looking like it.

00:43:43.000 Anyway, January 6th meandering.

00:43:45.000 Kind of a lefty news source.

00:43:47.000 It's one of these like Tim Pool things that, or maybe not Tim Poole.

00:43:51.000 He's more slightly right of center.

00:43:54.000 But they bring up this thing.

00:43:56.000 FBI undercover employee to Capitol Defendant.

00:43:58.000 Hey, brother, you were masked up in the Capitol, right?

00:44:00.000 Capital Defendant.

00:44:01.000 Yeah, why?

00:44:02.000 FBI undercover employee to Capitol Defendant.

00:44:08.000 I keep hearing about good people getting hunted down for this shit, just paranoid.

00:44:12.000 So they did have undercover, they did have feds involved in the January 6th meandering.

00:44:19.000 But you go, okay, so the right sees that and says, this is evidence that they started it and they got people riled up.

00:44:28.000 But the left has to at least concede that the FBI were involved and that makes them partly responsible, including for Ashley Babbitt's death.

00:44:39.000 If you knew there was going to be people going into the Capitol and someone died and you could have prevented it, aren't you responsible for the death, especially when that's your job as the Federal Bureau of Investigation?

00:44:53.000 I thought this was unusual.

00:44:54.000 26B.

00:44:55.000 Remember Gwen Berry?

00:44:57.000 The chick who went from like holding the American flag, loving America?

00:45:01.000 We've also discovered racist tweets of hers, by the way.

00:45:04.000 But in 26B, she goes, I wish I was at the White House right now.

00:45:08.000 I'd be helping all my folks out.

00:45:12.000 Does that mean the black cops, maybe?

00:45:15.000 But like BLM people aren't into any cops.

00:45:20.000 I'm lost.

00:45:22.000 I'm usually good at figuring out weird shit.

00:45:25.000 What was happening at 5?

00:45:28.000 Was that the cleanup portion?

00:45:30.000 Was that at the head of the meandering?

00:45:33.000 I don't think anything was going on.

00:45:38.000 And she's probably on island time.

00:45:40.000 She was probably talking about three hours earlier.

00:45:44.000 I don't know.

00:45:46.000 Weird.

00:45:48.000 I guess she means anyone who was fighting back against the meanderers, but no one was.

00:45:55.000 So who were her folks?

00:45:57.000 You know what happened?

00:45:58.000 She probably saw like three Antifa on her little anal Twitter feed that's all her very tight-knit activist groups.

00:46:08.000 And she said, I'd be with my BLM Antifa people fighting these guys.

00:46:13.000 Yeah, I think that's it.

00:46:14.000 And she doesn't realize that there wasn't really anyone fighting these guys.

00:46:19.000 Because Antifa are pussies.

00:46:20.000 The only Antifa there were starting fights.

00:46:28.000 Gary Coleman sums it up.

00:46:30.000 That's a t-shirt I want to make.

00:46:32.000 Gary Coleman was murdered.

00:46:35.000 Yeah.

00:46:37.000 That'd be a fun crusade for us.

00:46:39.000 Wouldn't it?

00:46:41.000 Does his wife make the shirt?

00:46:44.000 Because she's something to look at.

00:46:46.000 She's a...

00:46:47.000 Like, the picture of them together, it's like really creepy.

00:46:50.000 Like, she's going to murder him and eat him, maybe.

00:46:52.000 Yeah, this looks like a horror movie picture.

00:46:55.000 Poor little guy.

00:46:58.000 And they were together for zero time.

00:47:02.000 How much money did she get?

00:47:03.000 He wasn't rich.

00:47:07.000 He didn't look rich.

00:47:08.000 He was into trains.

00:47:10.000 He kind of had the vibe of $100,000 a year in royalties.

00:47:16.000 I mean, I guess that's very wealthy, especially if you're white trash.

00:47:21.000 But what does she get?

00:47:22.000 50?

00:47:24.000 Anyway.

00:47:27.000 We're done with yesterday's news.

00:47:29.000 We did a lot of tangents there.

00:47:32.000 Let's jump into some feminism.

00:47:45.000 Feminism.

00:47:47.000 That font has got to go.

00:47:48.000 Who in their right mind uses that font?

00:47:50.000 And why is the meandering still behind me?

00:47:54.000 You got to get a little quicker than that on the draw, dude.

00:47:57.000 1, 1,000, 2, 1,000.

00:48:01.000 Okay, remember this yesterday, I guess this still is a little bit yesterday's news.

00:48:06.000 I was talking about punchable faces.

00:48:08.000 We had a caller talking about punchable faces, and they brought up a few.

00:48:11.000 And then we had a letter today where someone goes, you want to see a punchable face?

00:48:15.000 Check out this guy.

00:48:16.000 So jump down to 20, 20.

00:48:21.000 And this guy makes useless inventions.

00:48:23.000 And I saw his face, and I was like, yeah, I can see the punchability there.

00:48:28.000 But then I got lost looking at what he does, and he makes unnecessary inventions, which the Japanese have always called Chindagu.

00:48:37.000 Oh, look, he put himself as one of the other people watching this.

00:48:40.000 This is an oscillating TV stand, so you don't have to worry about where you're sitting.

00:48:44.000 Everyone gets a good view of what's going on.

00:48:48.000 And what struck me about all of these inventions is the incredible quality.

00:48:53.000 Like, I was always a fan of the Japanese version, Chindagu, which means useless machine.

00:48:57.000 That's 2-1.

00:48:58.000 I had like a little coffee table book of them.

00:49:01.000 They're really funny.

00:49:02.000 And they're really good.

00:49:04.000 Like, look at the quality there.

00:49:06.000 That guy's capturing rainwater.

00:49:08.000 That guy's tie as an umbrella.

00:49:10.000 That woman can constantly blow her nose.

00:49:13.000 But nothing looks cheap, you know?

00:49:15.000 Like those eye drop holder things.

00:49:18.000 You don't see the glue.

00:49:21.000 And then you go to the bigotry of low expectations.

00:49:24.000 And remember that girl, Simone Gertz, who has 2.5 million subscribers.

00:49:29.000 And she goes, I'm kind of like that.

00:49:31.000 I do the useless inventions.

00:49:33.000 And I'm really good at it.

00:49:35.000 I make my own robots.

00:49:37.000 And you go, no, you don't.

00:49:40.000 You suck.

00:49:42.000 Turn it up.

00:49:43.000 And I've done things like cutting hair with drones.

00:49:54.000 Look at that gross sheet with stains on it.

00:49:57.000 Is that a period piss stain?

00:50:04.000 It's symmetrical, so the sheet was folded.

00:50:06.000 It was folded, and then it bled through.

00:50:08.000 Dude, that might be jizz.

00:50:10.000 Yeah, chick jizz or...

00:50:12.000 Like sex stain.

00:50:13.000 It's a sex stain.

00:50:14.000 That's in Confederacy of Dunces when Ignatius J. Riley gives his fellow protesters a sign for the strike they're doing at the factory, and they don't want to touch the sign because there's weird stains on the sheet.

00:50:27.000 It's one of the only times I laughed out loud reading a book.

00:50:30.000 And there it is in real life.

00:50:31.000 She's Ignatius J. Riley.

00:50:33.000 And in Clown World, clowns like Ignatius get 2.5 million subs.

00:50:40.000 Well, that's Nick Offerman as him?

00:50:42.000 Yeah.

00:50:43.000 They've been trying to make that movie for 100 years.

00:50:47.000 To a machine that helps me wake up in the morning.

00:50:51.000 Okay, stop, stop, stop.

00:50:53.000 Look at the quality of that.

00:50:57.000 That went viral.

00:50:59.000 She's on talk shows.

00:51:00.000 What a brilliant girl she is.

00:51:02.000 You know that the alarm clock does not, has nothing to do with the wrist.

00:51:08.000 And the cotton thing.

00:51:10.000 And it's, they laugh because she got her hair caught in it.

00:51:14.000 And that's supposed to be part of the joke.

00:51:16.000 But the only thing exceptional about this is a stupid accident.

00:51:19.000 So then you go back to Punchable Face and you go, this is what useless inventions look like in a meritocracy.

00:51:28.000 Like, look at all of these.

00:51:31.000 Well, that one's just easy to make fake, right?

00:51:34.000 Actually, I don't know if it is.

00:51:38.000 But look at the butter hand.

00:51:40.000 So that's for putting butter on your corn in the cob.

00:51:43.000 Funny joke, right?

00:51:44.000 But fuck the joke.

00:51:46.000 Look at the quality of all the seams and everything in the holder.

00:51:49.000 And then look at the butter holder.

00:51:52.000 The opening for the butter holder.

00:51:54.000 It's perfect.

00:51:56.000 Like there's zero flaws.

00:51:57.000 It looks like something you bought, which of course Makes the joke 80% better.

00:52:14.000 It's funny, it doesn't make his face punchable anymore.

00:52:16.000 Can someone explain to me what's going on here?

00:52:18.000 Like, go back up, go back up a bit.

00:52:20.000 Stop.

00:52:20.000 See the thing he's holding in his hand with his sweatshirt and the string?

00:52:24.000 Is that a no?

00:52:27.000 This sweatshirt and the string.

00:52:29.000 Is that a 3D printer he has?

00:52:44.000 Slide your hoodie strings into it and pull up.

00:52:47.000 And now the strings on your hoodie will always be the same exact length.

00:52:51.000 Does anybody else hate when their hoodie strings?

00:52:54.000 Like, what's going on?

00:52:55.000 If you're going to make a prototype, I think you have to make 1500 of it.

00:53:00.000 So to make these cool plastic things, he must have a 3D printer and then he beautifully sands.

00:53:05.000 Here, go to the one where he's driving and he gets fresh air.

00:53:09.000 Like that thing is beautiful.

00:53:12.000 And it gives the joke the vehicle it needs.

00:53:15.000 Whoa, what's happening to the screen now?

00:53:16.000 Yeah, that thing.

00:53:18.000 Look at that.

00:53:20.000 The different colors and everything.

00:53:26.000 I kind of want that.

00:53:28.000 Sometimes these are so good that they're good.

00:53:31.000 They sell them.

00:53:32.000 They have a bunch of them for sale.

00:53:35.000 Oh, really?

00:53:36.000 Yeah.

00:53:37.000 So that explains the 1500 thing.

00:53:40.000 Because he is making 1500 of them.

00:53:44.000 And then it becomes like a fun joke present.

00:53:48.000 Oh, that explains it all.

00:53:50.000 Like, if the oscillating TV thing is for sale, it's probably like 60 bucks.

00:53:57.000 Go to his site.

00:53:58.000 Has he got like a thing to sell them?

00:54:00.000 Because in that case, everything makes sense now.

00:54:02.000 Now he's sending drawings to China.

00:54:05.000 They're sending back a prototype and he's saying yes.

00:54:07.000 Merch.

00:54:08.000 It would be under merch.

00:54:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:10.000 Sold out.

00:54:12.000 Jigsaw puzzle coffee table.

00:54:14.000 Cool.

00:54:15.000 It's a cute corner.

00:54:16.000 It's already sold out.

00:54:19.000 The snack mingo, of course.

00:54:21.000 You have a floating snack bag.

00:54:23.000 Oh, this is okay.

00:54:25.000 We finally figured it out live on the show.

00:54:27.000 Flipping mittens.

00:54:29.000 Pizza holder, of course.

00:54:30.000 A zucker rug.

00:54:32.000 The baguette pack.

00:54:37.000 Oh, vote from home booth.

00:54:39.000 That's cool.

00:54:42.000 The unnecessary.

00:54:43.000 It's 3D printed.

00:54:44.000 For sure.

00:54:45.000 The other things, like, you can't 3D print that, so, like, some work went into that.

00:54:51.000 Yeah.

00:54:51.000 Okay, we get it now.

00:54:53.000 Fun stuff.

00:54:54.000 This is going to piss you off.

00:54:55.000 You ever be gaming and you have some snacks, but you don't want to get your hands all dirty?

00:55:01.000 Yeah, all the time.

00:55:06.000 There's this thing that attaches to your fingers.

00:55:10.000 It's called snackdiv.

00:55:12.000 Well, you do that.

00:55:12.000 You lay out your snacks on like a napkin.

00:55:15.000 I like that.

00:55:18.000 This is real.

00:55:19.000 This is not a useless invention.

00:55:26.000 So you never get your stuff greasy.

00:55:30.000 What a world we're living in.

00:55:31.000 Are you happy about that?

00:55:32.000 No.

00:55:34.000 You know what else I'm not happy about?

00:55:36.000 Everywhere I look now in the burbs, it's kids on battery-powered things.

00:55:40.000 Bicycles, battery-powered bicycles, battery-powered skateboards.

00:55:45.000 You see way more battery-powered skateboards than actual skateboards.

00:55:49.000 The idea of someone pushing, you don't really see that anymore.

00:55:58.000 Or those wheels.

00:56:00.000 It's just a wheel with the thing on either side.

00:56:01.000 They're always riding those around, and they're always on their fucking phones.

00:56:05.000 Riding their electric bikes on their phones.

00:56:10.000 That's not a childhood.

00:56:11.000 It's pathetic.

00:56:14.000 I'm a biker.

00:56:18.000 Globalist talking points.

00:56:21.000 I'm getting bombarded with these.

00:56:22.000 Let's go back now.

00:56:23.000 Paul Joseph Watson talks about this all the time.

00:56:26.000 Eat bugs, right?

00:56:28.000 This is what it started with.

00:56:29.000 Why eating insects to combat climate change is inevitable.

00:56:33.000 We want you to eat bugs.

00:56:35.000 Okay?

00:56:36.000 That's the first one.

00:56:37.000 Scroll down.

00:56:39.000 There's all kinds of delicious ways to fry cockroaches.

00:56:45.000 I don't think birds like eating bugs.

00:56:48.000 I don't think they're happy about it.

00:56:49.000 Every time they get near bread, they shit their pants with excitement.

00:56:53.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:56:55.000 I think it's possible animals are as disgusted by bugs as we are.

00:57:00.000 They just don't want to die.

00:57:03.000 That's why I say animals are losers.

00:57:05.000 Their lives are basically us in prison.

00:57:09.000 So that's the top one.

00:57:10.000 And then there's Live in a Pod, which is big.

00:57:14.000 This pod life involves zero privacy.

00:57:18.000 Everyone hearing is shit.

00:57:20.000 And they're not that cheap.

00:57:22.000 And you're just, it looks like a very beautiful Auschwitz.

00:57:28.000 Doesn't it?

00:57:29.000 The great Auschwitz.

00:57:30.000 Yeah.

00:57:31.000 It's like if Auschwitz did an episode of Home Improvement and they have all the prisoners and they just do a big reveal as the 18-wheeler drives by and all the prisoners are going, oh my God, I love it.

00:57:45.000 Future of housing is Podshare.

00:57:47.000 Podshare is a co-living, co-working community across multiple addresses in the city of Los Angeles.

00:57:53.000 Am I going to get canceled for that joke?

00:57:56.000 By the way, do you have any idea how canceled Nick Fuentes is?

00:57:59.000 He's not possibly on a no-fly list.

00:58:01.000 He's definitely on a no-fly list.

00:58:03.000 He's tried different airports, different airlines.

00:58:05.000 He may not fly.

00:58:05.000 His crime was making a Holocaust joke about Cookie Monster, right?

00:58:10.000 And then being America first pro-Trump.

00:58:12.000 He's anti-Zionist.

00:58:14.000 Who cares?

00:58:16.000 Why can you not fly in a plane if you don't believe Israel should be supported?

00:58:22.000 How weak of a society have we become?

00:58:24.000 How tyrannical have we become where someone's views affect their transportation?

00:58:29.000 And I think he's Debanked.

00:58:32.000 I don't think he can use a bank because of his ideas.

00:58:38.000 So, we want to live in a world where every single person on the plane has the same views about World War II and the Holocaust.

00:58:47.000 Now, I'm a Zionist.

00:58:48.000 I know the Holocaust happened.

00:58:50.000 I believe they were gassed, all of that normal stuff.

00:58:53.000 But I don't care what the guy next to me thinks.

00:58:56.000 The guy next to me could hate me.

00:59:00.000 Couldn't care less.

00:59:02.000 It's eerie what they've done to his life.

00:59:04.000 I mean, I know that was brief, but we really want to get to.

00:59:07.000 I know people really want to get to that.

00:59:08.000 This is a threat.

00:59:09.000 This little guy is a threat to America.

00:59:11.000 He must be stopped.

00:59:12.000 Now, I understand if all you talk about is like how to arm people, like that not fucking around anymore guy.

00:59:18.000 Okay, talk about black privilege.

00:59:20.000 That guy said, we're going to arm ourselves.

00:59:22.000 He marched all over the place with a heavily armed militia.

00:59:28.000 And then people associated with him were just arrested in Massachusetts, running from the police into the woods.

00:59:35.000 So if you were to ban him, I'm still against it, by the way, but at least I understand.

00:59:41.000 I'm not saying I would have killed him, but I understand.

00:59:44.000 Because there's a rationale there.

00:59:46.000 This guy's a threat to the safety of this country.

00:59:49.000 He talks about arming people.

00:59:51.000 He has walked around the streets with guns.

00:59:54.000 We're all going to die unless we...

00:59:55.000 Again, that's his right.

00:59:57.000 That's within the Constitution.

00:59:59.000 But if he were to be censored, at least I get the logic.

01:00:02.000 With Fuentes, there's no logic.

01:00:04.000 He doesn't call for a revolution.

01:00:06.000 He doesn't say we should fight in the streets.

01:00:08.000 Yet he's banned.

01:00:10.000 Now, in my case, I said we should fight Antifa in the streets, and they just cut out the Antifa part and made it look like I wanted to beat up random individuals for no reason.

01:00:22.000 So everything they say about white privilege is true about everyone but white people.

01:00:28.000 The title for this is A Time for Modern Warfare in parentheses, A Call of Duty.

01:00:34.000 So that's a way around...

01:00:35.000 You know people make threats and they're like in Minecraft to separate themselves from any incrimination.

01:00:40.000 It's not about the game, Ryan.

01:00:42.000 No, I know it's to separate yourself from incrimination.

01:00:44.000 You're like, go kill yourself in Minecraft.

01:00:47.000 So technically, I didn't tell you to kill yourself.

01:00:48.000 No, but he's.

01:00:49.000 You think that Call of Duty, he's referencing the video games?

01:00:52.000 No, it's a way to get away with saying a time for modern warfare because Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

01:00:57.000 So in parentheses, that's the title there.

01:00:59.000 Oh, I see.

01:01:00.000 So he's going to pretend he just meant the video game.

01:01:02.000 Yeah, a Call of Duty.

01:01:08.000 Don't have kids is another big globalist talking point, 2-4.

01:01:13.000 Because it's bad for climate change.

01:01:16.000 So basically, strip yourself of your rights.

01:01:18.000 Strip yourself of property.

01:01:20.000 Strip yourself of family.

01:01:21.000 Strip yourself of independence.

01:01:23.000 Make sure you're just living off of someone else.

01:01:26.000 When you're renting, you live off someone else.

01:01:28.000 Don't have kids, says AOC.

01:01:31.000 The only good news about all this bullshit propaganda is they end up being victims of it themselves.

01:01:36.000 AOC won't have kids.

01:01:38.000 You can click on the video now.

01:01:43.000 Now.

01:01:44.000 Our planet is going to make disaster if we don't turn this ship around.

01:01:50.000 And so it's basically like there's scientific consensus that the lives of children are going to be very difficult.

01:01:56.000 And it does lead, I think, young people to have a legitimate question.

01:02:02.000 You know, should is it okay to still have children?

01:02:07.000 And I mean, not just financially, because people are graduating with $20,000, $30,000, $100,000 worth of student loan cap.

01:02:17.000 And so they can't even afford to have kids in the house.

01:02:21.000 Just made a bunch of sweet potato fries and shoveled them into the garbage.

01:02:24.000 What do we do?

01:02:25.000 And even if you don't have kids, there are still children here in the world.

01:02:30.000 And we have a moral obligation to them to leave a better world for them.

01:02:35.000 And this idea that if we just, you know, I've been working on this for X amount of years.

01:02:42.000 Jump your thing.

01:02:43.000 It's like not good enough.

01:02:44.000 Like, we need a universal sense of urgency.

01:02:48.000 And people are trying to introduce watered down proposals that are frankly going to kill us.

01:02:54.000 Oh, shut up.

01:02:55.000 A lack of urgency is going on.

01:02:57.000 My God.

01:03:00.000 Live in the pod and eat bugs.

01:03:02.000 I will not eat pods.

01:03:04.000 And live in a bug.

01:03:05.000 I will not live in a bug.

01:03:08.000 And then people are so eager to be led that when they get told not to have kids, not to have a family, not to have a community, not to grow, not to have a legacy.

01:03:19.000 I mean, to live alone and not have kids and not do anything, you're a nothing.

01:03:25.000 You don't exist.

01:03:26.000 When you die, you're ashes and you haven't contributed to the world.

01:03:29.000 To have a family is to be immortal.

01:03:32.000 It's true freedom.

01:03:34.000 And I say that to my childless friends and they think I'm jealous.

01:03:37.000 That's why Bill Schultz and I are no longer friends.

01:03:39.000 He goes, Gavin always wants people to get married because he is stuck in a marriage and he's become famous very recently and he wishes he could get more pussy.

01:03:50.000 I'm like, no, dude.

01:03:53.000 I'm good for pussy and I'm trying to help you.

01:03:56.000 I want you to feel generally fulfilled.

01:03:59.000 Like they say, people who have kids aren't happy and they have all these studies, but they don't understand that your definition of happiness totally changes.

01:04:07.000 Like you might as well say most MLB players are disappointed in their performance.

01:04:13.000 Yeah.

01:04:13.000 I bet Jacob deGrom is mad at himself for the Brewers game the other day.

01:04:18.000 He's the greatest pitcher in the history of baseball.

01:04:21.000 But because his standards of joy are so high now that you could technically say he's miserable.

01:04:28.000 He considers himself a failure.

01:04:31.000 Well, yeah, most parents go, I could be doing a way better job.

01:04:35.000 I'm really worried about it.

01:04:36.000 That's because you become almost a perfectionist.

01:04:39.000 You develop these higher standards.

01:04:41.000 If your kids aren't constantly running around, laughing, getting good grades, feeling safe, creating art, not looking at a screen, you're like, I'm failing.

01:04:49.000 Is that misery?

01:04:51.000 No.

01:04:52.000 It's higher standards.

01:04:55.000 Anyway, when you have higher standards, when you have community, you have independence.

01:04:58.000 And that's what the globalists hate More than anything, independence.

01:05:04.000 That's why they want to cancel Independence Day.

01:05:07.000 Falls to her death from Second Story after telling friends she was lonely and wanted to start a family.

01:05:13.000 Yeah.

01:05:13.000 You know what?

01:05:15.000 Kumia sent me a.

01:05:16.000 Every time I say Kumia, I think of my daughter who, when she was young, she couldn't say Cookie Monster, so she called him Queena.

01:05:29.000 But listen to this post.

01:05:31.000 It's got a bunch of syringes, fertility drugs at the top of it.

01:05:37.000 Two rounds of IVS, over 50 injections, 30 appointments, two surgeries.

01:05:42.000 I'm upset that I wasn't taught the importance of freezing eggs before 30.

01:05:46.000 I'm also upset it costs so much because even if I wanted to freeze my eggs in my 20s, I didn't have the $20,000 it costs to do it.

01:05:54.000 All of this makes me feel inadequate.

01:05:57.000 That's so fucking funny.

01:05:59.000 So true.

01:06:01.000 I'm a woman.

01:06:01.000 I'm supposed to carry a child.

01:06:03.000 Why is it so difficult for me?

01:06:05.000 Why do I even want to bring a child into this world?

01:06:08.000 I hate that fucking argument.

01:06:09.000 That's what AOC was just saying.

01:06:12.000 It's quality, not quantity.

01:06:16.000 It's even stupid with rescue dogs.

01:06:18.000 Why'd you get a breeder dog when there's rescue dogs that need help?

01:06:22.000 Because the rescue dog machine is infinite.

01:06:24.000 We're talking about rats here.

01:06:26.000 It's not like if more people adopt dogs, the problem's done.

01:06:29.000 In fact, you're facilitating more rescue dogs by adopting them.

01:06:34.000 Should you rescue rats?

01:06:36.000 Should you rescue mice?

01:06:38.000 Should you rescue bugs?

01:06:40.000 What about an injured seagull?

01:06:41.000 How is it different?

01:06:46.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed.

01:06:48.000 I'm going to adopt all the kids in the world who need adopted.

01:06:53.000 Also, I'm going to, you know what?

01:06:54.000 I want to help out.

01:06:55.000 I'm going to go to the beach.

01:06:56.000 I'm going to wash two grains of sand, and then I'm going to leave and say, I helped clean up the beach today.

01:07:01.000 Yeah, I guess mathematically you did help, but it's statistically irrelevant.

01:07:06.000 Statistically irrelevant.

01:07:08.000 Statistically irrelevant.

01:07:12.000 You turn around and walk away.

01:07:15.000 Part of me wants to see what a different version of myself would be, but with more opportunities and supportive parents, a do-over of my life.

01:07:22.000 Yeah, that's just one of the amazing things about having kids.

01:07:25.000 Just one.

01:07:26.000 Having the cutest, funniest person in the world in the house is pretty good too.

01:07:32.000 Like my wife slept in last week and my youngest boy wanted breakfast and he goes, hey, I'm hungry.

01:07:40.000 She's like, oh yeah.

01:07:41.000 And he goes, you're sleeping on the job.

01:07:49.000 That's great.

01:07:51.000 But a part of me really loves sleeping and watching TV with no distractions.

01:07:55.000 Yeah.

01:07:56.000 That's a good reason to die alone.

01:07:58.000 Netflix.

01:08:00.000 Anyway, shout out to all the women who have gone through this.

01:08:02.000 It's fucking intense and emotional.

01:08:04.000 Women should be paid just to be alive.

01:08:05.000 Shut the fuck up.

01:08:07.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

01:08:09.000 You do get that.

01:08:09.000 You are paid to be alive when you're a housewife.

01:08:13.000 That's how happy we are to have you.

01:08:17.000 Like this idea that a woman in a house is a slave.

01:08:19.000 No, the woman in the home is the queen.

01:08:22.000 We're the worker ants.

01:08:24.000 We're like the monsters in tomorrow war, where if you get near the female, we start going nuts.

01:08:29.000 Happy?

01:08:30.000 You know what they mean when they say happy wife, happy life?

01:08:32.000 That's like ants saying happy queen, happy anthill, or whatever you, ant colony.

01:08:38.000 Happy queen, happy colony.

01:08:40.000 You're revered.

01:08:41.000 No one says, get me a fucking sandwich, bitch.

01:08:44.000 That's a feminist myth.

01:08:46.000 You go, wow, a sandwich is delicious.

01:08:47.000 Thank you.

01:08:48.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.

01:08:50.000 If she makes the shittiest meal on earth, you know what you say?

01:08:53.000 Nothing.

01:08:54.000 If she makes a great meal, you go, this is amazing.

01:08:58.000 I want to be a woman.

01:09:01.000 So 24, after 24, not only should you permanently make yourself infertile, is that the right word?

01:09:09.000 Unable to come properly, you should celebrate it.

01:09:14.000 So let's have vasectomy parties.

01:09:16.000 This is disturbing to me.

01:09:18.000 Hey, I'm no longer a viable, and it's at fatherly.com.

01:09:22.000 I remember meeting these guys when they started this site, by the way.

01:09:25.000 I wrote for them, I believe.

01:09:27.000 And now they're celebrating not fathers at fatherly.com.

01:09:31.000 That's not how it goes, guys.

01:09:33.000 So you can get some underwear that says you're shooting blanks.

01:09:36.000 Yeah, that's something to be proud of.

01:09:39.000 What else should you be proud of?

01:09:40.000 100% juice, no seeds.

01:09:44.000 Hi, I have no seeds.

01:09:46.000 If my life needs a reboot, something happens to my wife, I'm a widower, I fall in love again, she wants to have a kid.

01:09:53.000 Nope.

01:09:55.000 And you know what disturbs me, by the way?

01:09:57.000 When I was 20, I went to my college, my university nurse's doctor's office, and I said, I want to get my tubes tied.

01:10:03.000 The world's overpopulated.

01:10:05.000 I believed this shit.

01:10:07.000 And thank God it wasn't a PC clown world where I could sue him because he just went, what?

01:10:12.000 No, we're not doing that.

01:10:14.000 Jesus Christ, shut up.

01:10:16.000 I didn't have it done.

01:10:18.000 But three beautiful kids wouldn't have existed if anyone listened to me when I was 20 years old.

01:10:25.000 Now, 20-year-olds are in the White House.

01:10:29.000 AOC has the IQ of a fucking 16-year-old, and she's in there.

01:10:34.000 But I brought up all these globalist talking points because I saw on Daily Mail today this disturbing article that's sort of portrayed in a comical way with the graphic.

01:10:43.000 This is 2.5.

01:10:45.000 But it's disturbing.

01:10:48.000 Castration could help men to live longer.

01:10:51.000 Removing the testes of male sheep lets them live up to 60% longer by delaying the aging of DNA.

01:10:58.000 And the same principles could apply to humans too, study claims.

01:11:02.000 Isn't that fun?

01:11:04.000 The sheep part is so.

01:11:08.000 You want to be the best possible sheep you can be?

01:11:11.000 Let us castrate you.

01:11:12.000 Scroll down.

01:11:16.000 Oh, would you make that trade-off?

01:11:19.000 Male sheep who have been castrated might live as much as 60% longer than their intact counterparts.

01:11:24.000 I remember Gawker.com had an article about a guy who cut his balls and his dick off.

01:11:31.000 There's a name for it, I forget, and they showed a picture of it.

01:11:34.000 So he just has a little butthole.

01:11:36.000 He didn't have a pussy made, he just cut everything off.

01:11:39.000 He said his dick hurt.

01:11:41.000 So now he has an asshole for Pooh and an asshole for pee.

01:11:47.000 By the way, you know what I just remembered in that gay thing?

01:11:49.000 Nullo.

01:11:50.000 Is that it?

01:11:50.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:11:51.000 That's the article.

01:11:52.000 Ah, let's look at the picture.

01:11:54.000 Warning if you're eating.

01:11:55.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:11:56.000 Oh, you're going to see it.

01:11:57.000 Warning if you're eating.

01:11:58.000 Warning if you're eating.

01:12:00.000 Here we go.

01:12:01.000 I'm clicking.

01:12:01.000 Click away.

01:12:02.000 I'm clicking.

01:12:03.000 Click it up.

01:12:04.000 I'm clicking.

01:12:05.000 Oh, it's not doing it.

01:12:06.000 It's a little click, yeah.

01:12:07.000 It's a little T-click.

01:12:08.000 I could look up Nullo.

01:12:10.000 I'm clicking, bud.

01:12:12.000 All right.

01:12:13.000 We'll have to search that on our own.

01:12:14.000 Jeez.

01:12:16.000 That's what we look forward to when we Google search this, huh?

01:12:20.000 I just remembered that in the gay male choir, I thought I put this in the notes.

01:12:26.000 What is it?

01:12:29.000 Was it 13?

01:12:32.000 Maybe not.

01:12:33.000 One of them did a musical about that thing, I forget it's called, like Ali Baba or Baba Buli or Baba Booi.

01:12:41.000 And it's the Arabic practice of, scroll down, fucking young boys.

01:12:47.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:12:48.000 Bachabazi.

01:12:50.000 Go down.

01:12:51.000 Oh, wow.

01:12:52.000 One guy even made a musical about Bachabazi, the Afghan art of fucking boys.

01:12:56.000 They call it the boy who danced on air.

01:12:58.000 A new musical explores the clandestine world of Bachabazi in Afghanistan.

01:13:04.000 And he's singing, we're coming for your children.

01:13:10.000 Yuck.

01:13:11.000 He made, talk about non-white privilege, non-straight privilege.

01:13:15.000 He made a musical about fucking boys.

01:13:19.000 Oh my God, look.

01:13:21.000 It's the main singer.

01:13:26.000 Isn't that the main guy?

01:13:27.000 On the left, right?

01:13:28.000 Yeah.

01:13:28.000 Yeah, it sure does look like him.

01:13:30.000 So he's singing about what are you so afraid of?

01:13:33.000 We don't want to fuck kids.

01:13:34.000 And then he played a kid who was fucked by a gay or whatever they are over there.

01:13:43.000 Wow.

01:13:45.000 This is too much stuff to know.

01:13:47.000 Like the burden of knowing the truth stinks.

01:13:50.000 Like my grandparents have no idea what they vote for when they vote Democrat.

01:13:54.000 And to try to start informing them on the sinister demonic things going on in the world.

01:13:59.000 Well, that's why you have an idea.

01:14:01.000 A red pill or a blue pill.

01:14:04.000 Some people would be much happier not knowing all this shit.

01:14:07.000 By the way, speaking of yesterday's news, go to 3.8.

01:14:11.000 I found that tweet from Ezra where he is.

01:14:20.000 They know who's vandalizing the churches.

01:14:22.000 It's middle-class white people who are in Antifa.

01:14:26.000 But yeah, Amy Siskin, let's make Proud Boys a terrorist organization.

01:14:30.000 This is who it is.

01:14:31.000 Look at them.

01:14:31.000 Go big on it.

01:14:34.000 You can just...

01:14:35.000 It's funny how you can tell by the way a woman moves what class she is.

01:14:43.000 You know what I mean?

01:14:44.000 Like, this is not trailer trash.

01:14:47.000 Oh, yeah.

01:14:49.000 This is middle class, upper middle class.

01:14:52.000 I can't explain why.

01:14:54.000 There's a...

01:14:55.000 The intention behind her paces and her steps, the way she puts things down.

01:14:59.000 You can also tell they're kind of Marxist.

01:15:01.000 I don't know, the knees closer together, sort of timid.

01:15:06.000 Like they've never been in conflicts.

01:15:08.000 Someone from the hood would have more of a strong gait because she's learned to comport herself in such a way where she's not a victim.

01:15:14.000 These girls can afford to maintain their victim walk because they've never been in any kind of confrontation.

01:15:19.000 Yeah, there's a grace in everything they do.

01:15:20.000 They can still walk like, you know, toddlers because they essentially live the life of toddlers.

01:15:26.000 They're just veal.

01:15:27.000 Just human veal.

01:15:29.000 They've never been a box.

01:15:31.000 A veal box.

01:15:34.000 I couldn't find my son the other day.

01:15:36.000 I was like, do you know where Jay is?

01:15:38.000 And my wife goes, he's in his veal box.

01:15:41.000 And then I find him in the living room.

01:15:43.000 He's in a cardboard box.

01:15:45.000 And he's set it up with a pillow and a blanket and stuff and his stuffy.

01:15:48.000 And he's on his iPad inside of a cardboard box, his veal box.

01:15:54.000 All right, I think we're ready for the mailbag.

01:16:17.000 You know, when I fire you, you should do a lawsuit about all the abuse that you went through.

01:16:23.000 Worksuits are for pussies.

01:16:26.000 Because even just that theme song, if that ever ended up in a courtroom, the jury would just go.

01:16:34.000 And then if you cried in the courtroom.

01:16:37.000 I'd be the most boring ex-employee ever.

01:16:40.000 I'd be like, you know, it was fantastic working for him.

01:16:43.000 You did so much for me, you know, behind the scenes.

01:16:45.000 You really helped my life.

01:16:46.000 And I couldn't imagine not crossing paths with that.

01:16:49.000 Kind of like an angel.

01:16:51.000 I'd also drag it out for thousands of years because I could afford to.

01:16:55.000 Oh, the litigation?

01:16:57.000 Yeah, it would be very difficult to litigate.

01:16:59.000 I just told you I wouldn't litigate.

01:17:00.000 I'd do a podcast and just be very grateful for the time spent.

01:17:04.000 All right, so, Ryan, I've been trying to go through all of this shit, and there's just so much good stuff.

01:17:14.000 Remember, you have to go through it all and look for all the contests.

01:17:17.000 I'll allow you to only search subject contests because I did tell them to do that, and if they're too stupid to do it, they can be punished.

01:17:25.000 I can do a lot of digging.

01:17:27.000 Dig for a time.

01:17:28.000 Remember, we need your folders.

01:17:29.000 So this is not, I'm not starting with the newest one.

01:17:32.000 The newest one is from like an hour ago.

01:17:35.000 I'm starting with Orson Welles' Paul Masson wine update, which is way down from when I was looking at them this morning.

01:17:44.000 This is from three months ago.

01:17:46.000 My apologies if you already covered it.

01:17:47.000 There's confirmation.

01:17:49.000 Very difficult confirmation.

01:17:51.000 There's confirmation from the production manager, FirstAD, of the commercials that Wells was on sleeping pills.

01:17:57.000 I don't believe that.

01:17:58.000 I think that's the excuse to use.

01:18:00.000 And attempted to say he doesn't do anything, asking if the other actor is supposed to start the scene.

01:18:05.000 I was also surprised to find out after a few hours of sleep, Wells woke up and did a professional job, and the commercial ended up fine.

01:18:13.000 Yeah, that's called sleeping it off.

01:18:17.000 You're not going to tell me a guy's doing a wine commercial and he appears wasted and it was not booze?

01:18:26.000 I like to cast a party the way I cast a play with very special people, and the champagne must be equally special.

01:18:32.000 Parma Son, premium California champagne.

01:18:36.000 An impeccable taste.

01:18:38.000 Parma San wines taste so good because they're made with such care.

01:18:42.000 Old Palma San himself said it nearly a century ago.

01:18:46.000 We will sell no wine before its time.

01:18:52.000 I always make fun of actors, but he's pretty darn good.

01:18:58.000 Ah, so there's the original.

01:19:00.000 I never knew he nailed it.

01:19:08.000 Just do anything?

01:19:09.000 No, it's a sorry cut.

01:19:11.000 Wait, again?

01:19:16.000 Action awesome, please.

01:19:18.000 Just do anything?

01:19:19.000 No, it's a sorry cut.

01:19:21.000 Oh, I can believe it.

01:19:22.000 This is like that thing we had last week where you can hear the same thing and it can be ten different versions.

01:19:28.000 Champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence.

01:19:35.000 Champagne by Paul Masson.

01:19:38.000 Inspired.

01:19:39.000 Okay, now, Ryan, I'm going way deep down into yesterday, which is literally 100 emails ago.

01:19:46.000 We've got to figure this out, man.

01:19:48.000 Maybe, you know what we could do?

01:19:49.000 I have to take some time off in August.

01:19:51.000 Maybe we'll record a bunch of...

01:19:54.000 Here's what we should do for the summer vacation.

01:20:00.000 We'll do a bunch of sit-downs in the different studios, and then we'll also run a bunch of mailbag apps.

01:20:08.000 Because I just, I'm not comfortable with having zero content up there like Crowder and Camille.

01:20:16.000 I'm not confident enough that I, if I had a restaurant, I wouldn't close it for a week because I don't want you to fall out of the habit of coming here.

01:20:23.000 I'm too insecure.

01:20:30.000 I also have some good news I'd like to announce.

01:20:33.000 We will be rewarding Ryan $5,000 bonus.

01:20:37.000 Whoa.

01:20:38.000 Just because he's having a baby.

01:20:40.000 That's a great and generous bonus.

01:20:43.000 That's that.

01:20:43.000 My God, thank you.

01:20:45.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 I'm very grateful.

01:20:47.000 And you're also getting a raise.

01:20:49.000 I am?

01:20:50.000 Yeah.

01:20:51.000 Even though you're blurry right now because you're incompetent.

01:20:54.000 Well.

01:20:56.000 I'm going to do a Matthew Santoro cry thing.

01:20:58.000 Should I cry now?

01:20:59.000 Is that what people with emotions do that aren't associopaths?

01:21:03.000 They should cry, right?

01:21:04.000 And be like, oh my God, thank you.

01:21:06.000 Like, this should be emotional.

01:21:07.000 I think even a pussy would need a little more of a speech before.

01:21:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe you're right.

01:21:11.000 Okay, so this is under contest backgrounds.

01:21:14.000 Here's one more I just finished for fake news.

01:21:17.000 So we're still getting these in.

01:21:18.000 I don't think we should close the contest quite yet.

01:21:22.000 Oh, great.

01:21:23.000 Google Drive sign in.

01:21:26.000 Oh, I got it.

01:21:27.000 All right, let's see it.

01:21:30.000 Okay, some volume would be nice.

01:21:32.000 Oh, okay.

01:21:32.000 This is just a background, so no volume.

01:21:34.000 Yeah, no volume.

01:21:35.000 Very cool.

01:21:36.000 We could even put this up and test it out on the old Wallaroo.

01:21:43.000 Oh, the French.

01:21:45.000 Oh, the French champagne.

01:21:47.000 Food with the finest excellence.

01:21:50.000 You know, you don't really mind flashing and stuff if it's the logo, like InfoWars.

01:21:59.000 The jury's still out on if this is a distraction or not.

01:22:04.000 Yeah.

01:22:05.000 Maybe a good tip is slower motion.

01:22:07.000 Something.

01:22:08.000 Slower motion.

01:22:09.000 Like a little hypnotic.

01:22:11.000 Here's another one under the topic of bonus background submission, and it's called Roadhouse Rivera.

01:22:17.000 You'll like this.

01:22:18.000 This is up your alley as a megalomaniac.

01:22:24.000 Gotcha.

01:22:26.000 Here we go.

01:22:27.000 Here we go.

01:22:28.000 Okay, you can pull that up.

01:22:30.000 Oh, shit.

01:22:32.000 It's my face.

01:22:34.000 It's your stupid face.

01:22:35.000 It's my awesome face.

01:22:37.000 That's so hot and sexy.

01:22:39.000 With my great chin.

01:22:42.000 And my hair.

01:22:44.000 That is not gay, actually.

01:22:47.000 And my glasses.

01:22:49.000 Is it a Roadhouse?

01:22:50.000 Look, I've never seen that movie.

01:22:52.000 Well, that's not good, Ryan.

01:22:53.000 You have to have seen Roadhouse, Animal House.

01:22:55.000 Like, come on.

01:22:56.000 I've seen Animal House.

01:22:57.000 With you.

01:22:58.000 I made you.

01:22:59.000 We should do another movie thing.

01:23:01.000 Yeah, we could do that.

01:23:02.000 Fucking do it right here on the front desk, fuck.

01:23:07.000 Well, you know what we could do?

01:23:09.000 We could be sitting at the bar and then it could be like on the tele TriCaster.

01:23:19.000 We have a monitor in there.

01:23:20.000 We could watch it on that monitor.

01:23:21.000 Well, like I could be sitting in Maddie's seat and then you show the movie in real time as opposed to.

01:23:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:30.000 Like crisp.

01:23:31.000 Nice and crisp.

01:23:32.000 Although then you're worried about litigation and stuff.

01:23:34.000 Very difficult litigation.

01:23:36.000 Maybe if we flip it, people get away with that.

01:23:39.000 Yeah.

01:23:40.000 I think as long as I'm always in the frame, you're okay.

01:23:44.000 Okay, this is a video someone sent called Absolutely Fucking Brutal.

01:23:50.000 Actually, let's...

01:23:51.000 No, I don't want this to be the final video.

01:23:52.000 This is a guy who caught someone.

01:23:56.000 He cashed me outside, and it was a guy who beat his sister badly.

01:24:01.000 So when you beat my sister, you make her cry, I make you cry.

01:24:05.000 Now, if you're eating or something, turn away.

01:24:08.000 You're going to be distracted by the monitor next to them.

01:24:10.000 That's got nothing to do with anything.

01:24:12.000 That's some loop about the justice system.

01:24:14.000 I don't know what it is.

01:24:15.000 But he beats this guy unconscious and then breaks his arms.

01:24:18.000 Oh!

01:24:20.000 So let's see if we can handle this.

01:24:22.000 There's no volume.

01:24:27.000 Looks like there's a weird word there, Spoljna.

01:24:29.000 So this must be Russians.

01:24:31.000 Russians are wicked.

01:24:32.000 I think he's out.

01:24:34.000 Right?

01:24:35.000 The bodily reactions are some sort of like, so then someone comes up and you're going to kill him.

01:24:42.000 And he goes, I'll kill you if you get in the way.

01:24:44.000 I've barely begun.

01:24:47.000 Get the fuck away from me.

01:24:52.000 Again, guys, if you're going to beat someone, please break some ribs.

01:24:56.000 Don't do that.

01:24:58.000 Oh.

01:25:00.000 Don't do it.

01:25:01.000 Yeah, you don't want to see this.

01:25:02.000 Oh, don't do it.

01:25:03.000 You don't want to see this.

01:25:04.000 Look at this.

01:25:05.000 Oh, my God.

01:25:07.000 Oh, my God.

01:25:09.000 Oh, oh.

01:25:10.000 This show is terrible.

01:25:11.000 Oh.

01:25:12.000 I don't like the show anymore.

01:25:13.000 Oh, and then he goes, I got to get the other arm.

01:25:16.000 What the fuck?

01:25:16.000 Gets his knees behind the elbow.

01:25:18.000 I don't think I could ever do that.

01:25:20.000 Oh!

01:25:20.000 I don't think I could receive her.

01:25:21.000 Here's a snap, and then he's like, all right, we're done here.

01:25:26.000 And then another video someone sent in.

01:25:28.000 What is this girl on?

01:25:29.000 It's like her brain keeps turning on and off again.

01:25:31.000 Again, this is Russia.

01:25:33.000 This subject is, what is she on?

01:25:35.000 It's from the same guy right before that.

01:25:38.000 Got it.

01:25:40.000 And it really is like a light switch in her head.

01:25:43.000 Maybe she's...

01:25:43.000 You know what I think it is?

01:25:44.000 She's on some sort of like meth, and she's been up for six days.

01:25:50.000 So her body is just trying to put her to sleep, but she has to talk to a cop.

01:26:03.000 She's got holes in her knees because she's obviously fell forward a bunch of times.

01:26:15.000 Oh, he's having her do a driving test.

01:26:17.000 Like to see if you're drunk.

01:26:24.000 This should become a dance.

01:26:31.000 I've got a little light switch here.

01:26:33.000 Doop, doop.

01:26:34.000 Turn it off, turn it on.

01:26:38.000 Off, on.

01:26:41.000 Off, on.

01:26:44.000 Off, on.

01:26:47.000 Oh, a guy named Mike the Cop sent something in, and he said, can I change your masturbating is gay thing?

01:26:52.000 It is gay to watch a man fuck some meth head in the pussy.

01:26:56.000 It's sad and disgusting.

01:26:57.000 But what if you beat off the porn of you and your wife?

01:27:00.000 Now you're helping the reaction.

01:27:02.000 That's better, but no.

01:27:05.000 Here is a fun thing, though, I just discovered.

01:27:07.000 You're lying in bed, you can't sleep, and your wife's not around or whatever, or she doesn't want to be woken up.

01:27:16.000 Think of the shit you're going to do to her next time you guys both have the house to yourselves.

01:27:21.000 And get real elaborate with the plan.

01:27:23.000 You know what she likes.

01:27:24.000 You could take your time.

01:27:26.000 This can go there.

01:27:28.000 She doesn't like this, so I'll counteract it with that.

01:27:31.000 And just come up with a play in your head.

01:27:33.000 And it's very pleasant to come up with because it's exciting.

01:27:36.000 It's like planning for a Christmas party or Christmas.

01:27:41.000 And then I'm going to open my small presents first and then my big present.

01:27:46.000 It's a fun game.

01:27:47.000 There's almost no way to like fail, too, because even if it doesn't go according to plan, it's like, all right, she's not going to like not see me anymore.

01:27:54.000 She's going to be like, all right, nice try.

01:27:56.000 Try again.

01:27:57.000 Well, if it's fantasy that's really important to you and she knows you've been working on it in your head, she'll be down.

01:28:03.000 True.

01:28:05.000 This one's called Contest Background Submissions.

01:28:08.000 Sup, boys.

01:28:10.000 GOML LGBT Final MP4.

01:28:13.000 I'm clicking on that.

01:28:14.000 Oh, no, that one we've already done.

01:28:16.000 Sorry, I don't know how I ended up here.

01:28:18.000 Oh, he's resending them because he doesn't know that we've already gotten them.

01:28:23.000 Okay.

01:28:26.000 Don't even deny that this woman has the sprinkles, he says.

01:28:30.000 And it is good comedy, but every time someone sends me these, I'm like, yeah, that's just fairly good quality.

01:28:38.000 It's not the sprinkles.

01:28:40.000 It's not magic.

01:28:42.000 So you can pull this up any fucking time you want.

01:28:45.000 I am not seeing it.

01:28:46.000 Don't even deny.

01:28:48.000 We got it yesterday.

01:28:49.000 It's 6.14 p.m.

01:28:50.000 Don't even deny.

01:28:52.000 Maybe you're spelling right.

01:28:54.000 He's got it, folks.

01:28:56.000 Play something.

01:28:57.000 I'm giving up on you.

01:28:59.000 I hate this guy.

01:29:05.000 So she sees how popular he is.

01:29:12.000 You said forever now I drive alone past your street so I can forget the sight of you I'm taking my things and you can suck at night How much trouble she started off kind of brown so evening gents link to background for the final video segment.

01:29:40.000 I want to suck you with my Crocs on Kieran Is that a boy or a girl?

01:29:50.000 Oh shit, it's a Dropbox, but you should be able to play it.

01:29:54.000 Dropbox should give you a preview, yeah.

01:29:57.000 Oh this one's really cool.

01:30:00.000 Anytime you want to pull it up is fine with me.

01:30:03.000 What is it again?

01:30:04.000 It says contest dash final video background, as I clearly stated.

01:30:09.000 It is next to the previous email.

01:30:12.000 It was received yesterday at 5.56 p.m.

01:30:17.000 So you could just pull that up.

01:30:19.000 By Kieran.

01:30:21.000 Kieran, K-I-E-R-A-N, that's the name.

01:30:25.000 I've given you the time, the subject, the name.

01:30:27.000 It's next to the previous one.

01:30:29.000 Contest dash final video.

01:30:31.000 Get your fucking shit together, Ryan.

01:30:36.000 We've got Orson Welles in there.

01:30:39.000 Mr. Sprinkles, Louis C.K. It looks great.

01:30:49.000 Anyone ever noticed this one's called Ilhan Olmar Sounds Like Christopher Walken.

01:30:54.000 Hey guys, anyone ever noticed that Ilhan Olmar speaks in a Christopher Walken type cadence?

01:30:59.000 Especially between the 20, 30 second mark and the attached clip.

01:31:02.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:31:04.000 Do you regret these people?

01:31:05.000 Addressing this are of the ICC.

01:31:09.000 ICC has been investigating.

01:31:11.000 I know that some of my colleagues don't lend legitimacy to the ICC, but I tend to think that people around the world who have experienced injustice need to be able to have a place where they can go.

01:31:27.000 And as a country that found the ICC and supported it, I think that it is really important for us to...

01:31:36.000 For 10 years, I had this lousy turban on my head.

01:31:42.000 And no clit.

01:31:43.000 To be clear, Elhan Omar does not have a clit.

01:31:47.000 In order for her to sexually satisfy herself, I knew a guy who dated a Muslim who had no clit.

01:31:52.000 After they fucked, he would lie on his stomach.

01:31:55.000 She would put her pussy on his tailbone and then push up and slam herself down.

01:32:01.000 Push up, slam herself down.

01:32:03.000 In order to get a buzz.

01:32:06.000 This next one is called, Is This Guy Ancient Chinknees?

01:32:11.000 I'm not familiar with that word.

01:32:13.000 Ancient Chinkneys Secret.

01:32:16.000 And it appears to be someone with actual sprinkles.

01:32:23.000 Although doing bad interviews is not really rocket science, but.

01:32:29.000 You could say something to him, and he would listen.

01:32:31.000 And like, you know, like, you could fucking say whatever you want.

01:32:35.000 You know, tell me, put in the microphone.

01:32:38.000 Love you.

01:32:39.000 We are fighting for you.

01:32:41.000 Hold on.

01:32:41.000 Okay, sorry.

01:32:42.000 Yeah, it's fine.

01:32:43.000 What do you say right now if you want to?

01:32:45.000 Like, what would you say to Trump, what would you say?

01:32:49.000 I would say, we love you.

01:32:50.000 We're fighting for you.

01:32:52.000 All right.

01:32:52.000 We're fighting for you.

01:32:53.000 Thank you so much.

01:32:55.000 And if you could give a message to Donald Trump, pretty good.

01:33:06.000 What's this one?

01:33:07.000 Okay, wait a minute.

01:33:08.000 Wait a minute.

01:33:09.000 Children dying from COVID in NZ, New Zealand.

01:33:14.000 I'm making sure I say it very clearly so Ryan can find it.

01:33:18.000 Dear Gavin, Supreme Daimyo of the Cocksaka dynasty, you probably haven't heard, but in New Zealand we are facing unreasonably high levels of RSV, a respiratory illness that affects mostly the very young.

01:33:31.000 It has about a 1% fatality rate in infants.

01:33:34.000 Currently, our hospitals are full of infants on breathing tubes, and my local doctor said she has never seen a flu season this bad.

01:33:42.000 The reason?

01:33:43.000 Due to last year's lockdowns, our children were isolated and didn't build up the normal antibodies to fight these things off naturally, so they have been spreading faster than a feminist at college.

01:33:55.000 Basically, we have sacrificed our adults' livelihoods slash businesses, our children's socialization, and now even their lives in the battle against COVID, an illness that mostly just gives a gentle nudge to people who are not already on death's door.

01:34:12.000 It's very similar, oh sorry, an illness that mostly just gives a gentle nudge to people already on death's door.

01:34:19.000 It's very similar to when those morons interfere with the economy.

01:34:22.000 They create distortions and ripple effects that are often many times worse than the original problem they were trying to solve.

01:34:29.000 Fucking losers.

01:34:32.000 Yours sincerely, Blake, please.

01:34:33.000 P.S. Sorry for the clickbait title.

01:34:36.000 And then we have these, those vaccines are deadly.

01:34:41.000 Please use your platform to let other people know.

01:34:45.000 Hi, Ryan and Gavin.

01:34:46.000 There's a ton of suppressed info out there that these shots are deadly and whoever takes it could be dead within two to three years.

01:34:51.000 On Rumble, more can be found by searching for videos by Dr. Tenpenny, Stu Peters, Dr. Judy Mikovitz, etc.

01:35:01.000 Even famous Provax doctors and scientists are ringing the bell on this.

01:35:04.000 And every step of the way, these scientists and doctors are being silenced and deplatformed.

01:35:09.000 Please, I urge all of your listeners, do not get these shots.

01:35:12.000 Don't get the second shot.

01:35:14.000 Don't get boosters.

01:35:14.000 And don't get the flu shot.

01:35:16.000 I'll be eternally grateful if you read this on air.

01:35:20.000 I did.

01:35:22.000 Let's jump now to Photoshops of Ryan.

01:35:27.000 That'll be a fun way to wind things down.

01:35:32.000 These are lots of Photoshops of you.

01:35:34.000 It seems to be done by the Roadhouse guy.

01:35:37.000 Hey, this is Chris.

01:35:38.000 Chinger Bell.

01:35:40.000 Okay.

01:35:41.000 What the fuck?

01:35:42.000 What's that?

01:35:43.000 Oh, that's just me looking younger, I think.

01:35:46.000 Okay.

01:35:47.000 That's me looking younger also.

01:35:50.000 Alright.

01:35:51.000 That's my sister.

01:35:54.000 Gross.

01:35:55.000 Yeah, right?

01:35:55.000 She's totally hot.

01:35:58.000 Okay, we get it.

01:35:59.000 The Noodle House.

01:36:00.000 That's what he calls my live stream guitar.

01:36:02.000 It looks like Crowder.

01:36:04.000 Yeah.

01:36:04.000 Crowder's an Asian face.

01:36:07.000 Oh, shit.

01:36:08.000 That's dope.

01:36:11.000 That's pretty cool, too.

01:36:12.000 That is pretty cool, actually.

01:36:15.000 Hey, Gavin, this is called Maybe a 10 Question Mark Question Mark.

01:36:19.000 Hey, Gavin, the other guy, just watched your old 25 hottest chicks from a few years ago.

01:36:24.000 That's already years ago.

01:36:25.000 Wow.

01:36:26.000 And happened to come across this chick from a barstool podcast called Shacker Sunday.

01:36:31.000 Very jewy vibe.

01:36:32.000 Nose and mouth.

01:36:34.000 Quality.

01:36:34.000 Anyway, what do you think?

01:36:36.000 Let's see her.

01:36:38.000 It's kind of dark on the monitor.

01:36:40.000 Yeah, that's a quality seven.

01:36:46.000 Um, boopy doopa doo, but boobity bap.

01:36:52.000 All right, I think we're running out of time here.

01:36:55.000 Let's jump to the final video.

01:37:17.000 There's one letter that I had printed out separately, so I didn't find it there.

01:37:21.000 And this might be bullshit.

01:37:22.000 This guy might be trying to murder me, or this might be one of the greatest discoveries of all time, and the entire medical industry in America Is a lie that's good to get the information out there.

01:37:33.000 That's what's great about free speech.

01:37:35.000 You don't have to, they tell you to jump off a cliff.

01:37:38.000 If they tell you jumping off a cliff can make you fly, you don't have to do it.

01:37:42.000 But if it is true, it's good that it's out there.

01:37:46.000 Maybe try it over a body of water and then see if it works.

01:37:49.000 Anyway, Gavin, it's just a personal email for you with regards to your burn, which is healing up wonderfully.

01:37:56.000 It's not infected.

01:37:58.000 Antibiotics helped.

01:38:00.000 I don't need bandages anymore.

01:38:01.000 It's all callous.

01:38:02.000 And you know what's a wonderful blessing about this?

01:38:03.000 One of my biggest insecurities was I would shake men's hands, blue-collar dudes, and they would feel this little woman's baby's bottom because I haven't done hard labor in a very long time.

01:38:15.000 Now I'm going to have calluses, at least for a while, and it won't feel like a total pussy handshake.

01:38:21.000 So this turned out to be a good move.

01:38:26.000 I'm not going to do this, but it's cool to...

01:38:30.000 I might ask a doctor about it, actually.

01:38:32.000 Order a chlorine dioxide kit with the HCI activator option available here.

01:38:39.000 Order the DMSO here.

01:38:41.000 They will ship you the stuff fast.

01:38:43.000 Anyway, here's how it works.

01:38:44.000 Chlorine dioxide is one of the most powerful antibacterial, antimicrobial substance on the planet.

01:38:50.000 It's made by combining a drop of sodium chloride, chlorite, and a drop of acid activator.

01:38:57.000 Hydrogen chloride in this case, HCI.

01:38:59.000 The same HCI that is in your stomach acid.

01:39:02.000 Once you combine the two, it is activated and it stays activated for about one to two hours, after which it breaks down to water and NICL.

01:39:10.000 N-A-C-L, table salt.

01:39:12.000 After you activate the drops in a clean, dry glass cup, it's interesting that this guy's grammar is perfect.

01:39:17.000 Implies he's intelligent.

01:39:19.000 Simply add water to the cup, eight ounces or whatever the amount, and the water will capture the gas that is released.

01:39:25.000 You'll be able to smell the chlorine when you activate it, and it is stabilized and captured in the water.

01:39:30.000 For the record, this could be Antifa sending me a bomb where I put it together and my face burns off.

01:39:36.000 So I'm not saying you should try this at home.

01:39:39.000 You should look into it, have a professional tell you if this is bullshit or not, but it's worth getting out there.

01:39:46.000 DMSO is a transporter.

01:39:49.000 It will transport anything you combine with it deep within your tissue.

01:39:53.000 Thus, if you add a drop of DMSO to chlorine dioxide, it will drive it deep into your burn-infected area.

01:40:00.000 It will drive out in the air.

01:40:02.000 If you ever have a tooth abscess, 10 drops of chlorine dioxide and 10 drops of DMSO in a shot glass, add a bit of water, swish around your mouth.

01:40:09.000 In 30 seconds, the pain from the abscesses will stop and you will have stopped the root cause, which is the infection.

01:40:17.000 Since the DMSO makes it so chlorine dioxide is able to penetrate deep in the tissue and kill the infection.

01:40:22.000 DMSO is powerful stuff.

01:40:26.000 If you're wearing a blue shirt and drop a drop of DMSO on the shirt, it will take the dye in the shirt and transport it into your tissue.

01:40:34.000 So be careful.

01:40:36.000 I've included a detailed instruction guide on how to use this.

01:40:38.000 A full 21 documentary on it is here.

01:40:43.000 Brighteon.com and here, theuniversalantidote.com.

01:40:50.000 By the way, chlorine dioxide is the most verboten substance on the planet.

01:40:55.000 It is more banned than you and Alex Jones and or anything else.

01:40:59.000 It is a simple, cheap, effective cure to 97% of the health issues on the planet, and it is the biggest threat to big pharma since it would restore self-reliance in the sphere of health to the world.

01:41:11.000 That's why I insist on reading that, because that seems to be a theme on this episode.

01:41:15.000 The war on self-reliance.

01:41:19.000 Actually, that's a good name for this episode.

01:41:21.000 The war on independence.

01:41:26.000 This stuff was demonized by the FDA, CDC, and all the alphabet organizations, yet it is used in all meat packing, sanitizing water bottles before filling them with water, vegetable distribution, etc.

01:41:36.000 I like you more than a friend, and I wish your kin 100 years of good health.

01:41:42.000 All right.

01:41:43.000 Final video.

01:41:45.000 Look at these fucking mayflies at a gas station.

01:41:49.000 Holy Sam hell.

01:41:51.000 Biblical proportions.

01:41:53.000 Wouldn't you just close your store?

01:41:58.000 Your gas station that day?

01:42:01.000 I mean, aren't they going to ruin the inside?

01:42:04.000 With people coming in?

01:42:06.000 Look at that.

01:42:08.000 That's horror movie levels.

01:42:12.000 They're just mayflies.

01:42:13.000 I think they live for like a day or an hour or something.

01:42:16.000 Remember that locust thing like a couple years ago, the Vegas locust invasion?

01:42:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:22.000 That was gross, too.

01:42:23.000 Cicadas were out in D.C. when I was at that wedding.

01:42:26.000 How long do mayflies live?

01:42:28.000 How long do mayflies live?

01:42:32.000 Question mark.

01:42:34.000 And the answer is less than five minutes.

01:42:38.000 What?

01:42:38.000 The female lives less than five minutes, but the males can live for a whopping two days.

01:42:46.000 Wow.

01:42:47.000 And then the final, final video.

01:42:50.000 I have a great idea for you and your neighbors.

01:42:52.000 I think it would be a good weekend for you and your neighbors to have a foursome where you trade wives and you see your friend's penis, you see your friend's girlfriend's tits.

01:43:05.000 You bring your relationship to the edge of the cliff and hope that it doesn't fall off.

01:43:11.000 And I think the best way to institute a forsom with your other couple friend would be with a Wii game.

01:43:19.000 So send your best couple friend this commercial.

01:43:23.000 It's a fun game.

01:43:25.000 Here you get one, you get one.

01:43:26.000 There you go.

01:43:28.000 It's an adult video game.

01:43:31.000 Here you eat an apple together.

01:43:34.000 I think this is like the guy and his friend's girlfriend doing that.

01:43:41.000 Oh, and then the ladies get up to their mischief.

01:43:46.000 And here's one where you fly together.

01:43:49.000 And the way that you get through these hoops is he spanks your bum.

01:43:54.000 Although in the video, he's just tapping her waist.

01:44:01.000 Did this go any Did anyone use this once ever?

01:44:09.000 This is the gayest heterosexual sex has ever been.

01:44:25.000 Ugh.

01:44:26.000 Gross.

01:44:29.000 Anyway, that's our show for today.

01:44:31.000 Introducing the weekend.

01:44:34.000 Let's have some fun, catch up on some to-do lists, try to stay off our phones, try to spend time with our families and our loved ones, do some home repairs, find out something about your kids.

01:44:44.000 You know what I've noticed with your kids too is you're like, oh shit, I don't want to go play miniature golf.

01:44:48.000 I just want to sit at the bar or look at my phone or sit on my ass or watch the game.

01:44:53.000 And then you start playing with your kid.

01:44:54.000 And the great thing about parenting is you get out what you put in.

01:44:59.000 So you put in two hours with your kid and then you guys are closer.

01:45:05.000 And now it's a more fulfilling relationship.

01:45:08.000 If you were to only see your kid, and I feel sorry for divorced dads, like every week for an hour, you don't have much to go for and you don't get much out of it.

01:45:16.000 But if you like watch a movie with your daughter or something and you talk the whole time or you watch, you know, some junky TLC show like 90 Day Fiancé, and now you're closer with your daughter and now it's more fun to spend time with her.

01:45:28.000 The less time you spend with your kids, the less fun it is to spend time with your kids.

01:45:33.000 The more time you spend with your kids, the more fun it is to spend time with your kids.

01:45:37.000 So let's do that this weekend.

01:45:40.000 Commit to it.

01:45:41.000 And if you have a bunch of kids, I think it's important to isolate them.

01:45:44.000 Like even walking the dog with one of them.

01:45:46.000 What's going on?

01:45:46.000 Who's your crew at camp?

01:45:49.000 What music are you listening to these days?

01:45:51.000 Are you still getting along with Jen?

01:45:54.000 That's why it's really important to always have dinner with your family together.

01:45:57.000 All kinds of studies have shown that, especially with young girls, they turn out a lot better when they constantly have that check-in of dinner with the family, no screens sitting there.

01:46:06.000 I assume that's a given, right?

01:46:07.000 None of you are allowing screens at the dinner table.

01:46:09.000 I don't have to say that, right?

01:46:11.000 Anyway, the globalists, they don't want us to have independence.

01:46:14.000 They don't want us to have community.

01:46:16.000 They don't want us to have a legacy.

01:46:17.000 They want us to be serfs, to be slaves to the global machine.

01:46:21.000 And we refuse to do that.

01:46:23.000 So they torment us.

01:46:24.000 They cancel us.

01:46:24.000 They ridicule us.

01:46:26.000 They make up fake rumors about us.

01:46:28.000 They look at our emails.

01:46:30.000 They spy on us.

01:46:31.000 And they threaten our jobs.

01:46:32.000 And to that we say, get fired.

01:46:35.000 Get in trouble.

01:46:36.000 Be brave.

01:46:37.000 And never stop fighting.

01:46:52.000 Drop it low, to the float.

01:46:53.000 Twist on it and blow.

01:46:55.000 Twist on it, bloat, bloat.

01:46:56.000 Drop a nipple like a pro.

01:46:58.000 Suck it flow, suck me no.

01:47:00.000 Can't say no.

01:47:01.000 Suck it more.

01:47:01.000 Drop it low.

01:47:02.000 Bounce it, bounce it, bounce it.

01:47:04.000 Yeah, off blow.

01:47:05.000 For breakfast, dick for lunch.

01:47:08.000 Dick for dinner.

01:47:09.000 Dick is all I want.

01:47:11.000 Dick all I care.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 09, 2021

S04E08 - THE WAR ON INDEPENDENCE

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