Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E28

00:00:11.000 With my chin up hot.

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.

00:00:22.000 Party till I die.

00:00:23.000 With my chin up hot, fuck emote, fuck embark.

00:00:30.000 Let that dollar make her work.

00:00:32.000 Work people always hate me, but the more they hate, the more I work.

00:00:36.000 Everybody say they live, but all they do is showing shit.

00:00:38.000 In my street, like the slaves, bitches always kiss my feet.

00:00:41.000 Stay out of my way, you bitch.

00:00:43.000 I can deal with you.

00:00:44.000 Fake at me.

00:00:44.000 They thought that I had stopped.

00:00:46.000 It was over.

00:00:47.000 I had dropped.

00:00:47.000 Bitch, I had my plans out here.

00:00:49.000 I'm only just...

00:00:52.000 Okay, I played it.

00:00:54.000 Can you stop sending me this now?

00:00:56.000 Jesus H. Christ on a Crutch.

00:01:00.000 I've been getting this every four hours since it came out.

00:01:04.000 I was wondering actually what this was because Mob Shizzen posted it, but they never tell you what the video is.

00:01:11.000 She's got interesting gestures.

00:01:12.000 She's kind of got the gestures of Amel and the Sniffers.

00:01:18.000 And she's kind of got the gestures of Yoshi Linda, whatever her name is, from Yolanda Visser.

00:01:24.000 Yolanda Visser.

00:01:27.000 Kind of hoppy.

00:01:29.000 It's just a shitty rap song.

00:01:30.000 Why did you rape me into playing this?

00:01:34.000 My God.

00:01:39.000 Here's a better opening song.

00:01:42.000 Try not to cry at this softball game.

00:01:51.000 There's a technical difficulties and we will not be playing the national anthem.

00:01:54.000 Let's play ball.

00:02:02.000 Technical difficulties?

00:02:09.000 This is a teacher.

00:03:04.000 Isn't that awesome?

00:03:05.000 Yeah.

00:03:05.000 Did you tear up?

00:03:07.000 I did not, but the first time I saw it, I might have.

00:03:10.000 Oh, you've seen that before?

00:03:11.000 I have.

00:03:12.000 I tear up for happy things.

00:03:17.000 We were in Vegas all weekend, and we've got a lot of stories for that.

00:03:22.000 It's going to dominate the whole show, I think.

00:03:24.000 But before we get to that, I have to cover all the things that we can't discuss tomorrow because there'll be ancient Chinese secret by then.

00:03:32.000 A lot of sports stuff going on.

00:03:34.000 I missed the greatest Mets game of the season, apparently.

00:03:37.000 There was a fight or an almost fight with Lindore.

00:03:40.000 There was three home runs in one game.

00:03:44.000 Is this all correct?

00:03:54.000 He's new to us.

00:03:59.000 See, whenever you see other commentators, is that the right word, commentator?

00:04:03.000 I think so, yeah.

00:04:05.000 I'm asking Ryan.

00:04:06.000 You realize how lucky we are to have Gary Keith and Ron.

00:04:09.000 These other guys suck.

00:04:10.000 And if you're checking out the Mets for the first time, make sure you watch a Mets game that is on SNY with Gary Keith and Ron, because they are really what makes being a Mets fan great.

00:04:23.000 They just go off at tangents rambling.

00:04:26.000 Is one of those guys Baldman?

00:04:28.000 Yep.

00:04:28.000 Batman's Arch Nemesis.

00:04:32.000 I don't get it.

00:04:33.000 We were saying he was a Batman villain.

00:04:36.000 Oh, one of the guys looks like a Batman villain?

00:04:38.000 Because he's so bald.

00:04:39.000 He's like, what are you, Baldman?

00:04:41.000 Remember?

00:04:42.000 We're laughing at him?

00:04:42.000 I don't remember that, no.

00:04:44.000 So they destroyed the Yankees.

00:04:46.000 Is this the whole game or just highlights?

00:04:48.000 These are highlights.

00:04:49.000 It's an eight-minute reel.

00:04:50.000 That's a lot of highlights, too.

00:04:52.000 I guess the whole game was like highlights.

00:04:55.000 Isn't there a thing?

00:04:57.000 Where they break down.

00:04:58.000 This is not an interesting introduction to a show for people.

00:05:01.000 It's Glaber Day.

00:05:03.000 Glaber Torres.

00:05:04.000 That's one for the Yanks.

00:05:05.000 Run away center field.

00:05:10.000 Stan doubled in a run.

00:05:11.000 Sinson has struck out.

00:05:13.000 Into deep left center field, and this game is tied.

00:05:18.000 What a game.

00:05:20.000 Farts McGillicuddy.

00:05:22.000 Poo-poo.

00:05:26.000 Poo-poo.

00:05:26.000 We were on a plane.

00:05:27.000 We almost got in a fight last night.

00:05:29.000 Yeah.

00:05:30.000 We can jump to that story.

00:05:32.000 So Ryan and I are the Butt Boys.

00:05:35.000 And what the Butt Boys do is, it's a very misleading title.

00:05:39.000 I'm not happy about the name.

00:05:41.000 But we police people who butt in line.

00:05:44.000 It's a dangerous job, but someone's got to do it.

00:05:46.000 And I am at a 50% butt arguments fight with flights now.

00:05:54.000 I had a racist hunch when we arrived in Vegas that the black guy, kiddie corner behind me, or as Ryan says, Caddy Corner.

00:06:03.000 I swear I thought it was.

00:06:06.000 He was going to bud.

00:06:06.000 So I watched him like a hawk.

00:06:08.000 I was in the shitty middle seat because I'm too cheap to get first class.

00:06:11.000 So the guy here gets up.

00:06:12.000 And how do I establish dominance as someone in the middle seat, a row above the dude?

00:06:18.000 Well, you get up and you put your knee on your seat like this.

00:06:22.000 You've got to duck your head under the cabbage, the cabbage, the baggage claim, whatever, stop, overstock stuff.

00:06:31.000 What am I fucking talking about?

00:06:33.000 And so you show you're ready to pounce, right?

00:06:36.000 So this is how you establish dominance if you're not on the aisle seat.

00:06:39.000 If you're in the aisle seat, it's easy to just get up and stand there.

00:06:42.000 So I'm like this, watching the black guy.

00:06:44.000 He had no intentions of butting.

00:06:45.000 Calm down, butt boy.

00:06:47.000 And that was fine.

00:06:50.000 On the way back, however, this wigger from Jersey with a big cannabis BK shirt on and slides.

00:07:00.000 Quite big, 6'2, I'd say.

00:07:03.000 And he's got sunglasses on.

00:07:05.000 It's 11 p.m., dude.

00:07:06.000 And flip-flops.

00:07:07.000 I just said slides, shit for brains.

00:07:09.000 Watch the show.

00:07:10.000 You should watch the show.

00:07:13.000 He buds in line.

00:07:16.000 Now, he hasn't butted to my row, but Ryan allowed him to butt into his row.

00:07:21.000 No, no, no.

00:07:22.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:07:23.000 He got up way before a man's supposed to get, anybody gets up.

00:07:26.000 Nobody was getting up.

00:07:27.000 He rushed from way behind before anybody was.

00:07:30.000 Like, the first two rows were just about getting up, and he positioned himself way behind.

00:07:34.000 The second that the seatbelt comes on, you have to get to that kneeling position I just showed.

00:07:39.000 The second.

00:07:42.000 So anyway, he's now there, and I'm like, and Ryan is the first to go, buddy, buddy, what's going on here?

00:07:48.000 We got to get out one by one.

00:07:49.000 And then I jump in and go, it's pretty basic logic.

00:07:52.000 First row probably gets out first, don't you think?

00:07:55.000 And he's like, yo, I'm impatient.

00:07:58.000 And I said, well, I'm impatient too.

00:07:59.000 I don't have patience for what you're doing.

00:08:00.000 I was like, is this your first time flying?

00:08:02.000 I was a little heated because I had pictured an argument in my brain already.

00:08:06.000 So I was like, you think you could back up so maybe I can get out?

00:08:09.000 He's like, whoa, whoa.

00:08:10.000 I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, they get out first, then we go, and then you jumped in.

00:08:15.000 You were like, this is my favorite argument.

00:08:17.000 Then you turn around.

00:08:18.000 I tried the, it's called a society.

00:08:21.000 Didn't work as well as it does with black butters.

00:08:24.000 Also, we learned a new word, egg corn.

00:08:26.000 Yes.

00:08:27.000 Which is, we couldn't, we weren't sure, is it budding or butting, but it is both.

00:08:32.000 Butting has been bastardized by butting.

00:08:34.000 I'd rather be the Bud Boys.

00:08:36.000 That sounds cool.

00:08:37.000 Sounds cool.

00:08:38.000 Sounds like Budweiser.

00:08:39.000 But if you want to be grammatically correct, we're the Butt Boys.

00:08:42.000 So we keep going and going, and I eventually get up because everyone is just, some like ladies, as usual, some ladies are like, that's the way it goes.

00:08:51.000 Yeah.

00:08:52.000 Guy on my row, too, is like, it's the rules.

00:08:54.000 It's the rules.

00:08:55.000 But no one really had our backs because he was a violent dude.

00:08:59.000 So I stand up and I go, you got to get back.

00:09:01.000 These rows need to be done.

00:09:02.000 He goes, don't put your fucking hands on me.

00:09:04.000 You're going to regret it.

00:09:05.000 And I go, well, then get back because you're ahead of these rows.

00:09:09.000 And then he's standing like this, like, I fucking dare you.

00:09:12.000 So I gently, with my arm, push him back and I sort of grab Ryan and pull him like this.

00:09:18.000 And then he's like, save my life.

00:09:20.000 What the fuck do you think?

00:09:22.000 He goes, now he's really mad.

00:09:24.000 He's like, move, go, go.

00:09:26.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because it takes us a second because there's an old lady.

00:09:28.000 You're like, I'm waiting for the flight.

00:09:29.000 Well, no, that's before that.

00:09:30.000 So we're getting people out.

00:09:31.000 And then this old lady with a cane is like, I'm trying to get out.

00:09:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:35.000 He goes, move, move.

00:09:36.000 I go, I'm waiting for an old lady with a cane.

00:09:39.000 And she's like, and then the flight attendants grab her and take her aside, like, you don't want to be part of this.

00:09:45.000 So now we're out.

00:09:46.000 It's 11 p.m. at Newark, and the airport's empty.

00:09:51.000 So he's got some hubris.

00:09:53.000 And he's like, you a bitch, motherfucker.

00:09:56.000 And then he keeps saying the same thing.

00:09:58.000 He keeps going, I just want to know, who the fuck are you to put your hands on me?

00:10:03.000 Like, is this your wise guy voice?

00:10:05.000 What are you doing?

00:10:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:07.000 And then Ryan said, you know, if this goes down, I'm going to get involved.

00:10:11.000 And last time this happened, I put a guy out for a week.

00:10:13.000 And I looked at you and you looked at me.

00:10:15.000 Yeah, we laughed.

00:10:16.000 And I was like, he was like, your size.

00:10:18.000 And I was like, and I'm in shape and you don't look like you're in shape.

00:10:22.000 That's the first diss.

00:10:23.000 Second diss was, he's like, and you smoke weed.

00:10:25.000 He's got like a cannabis shirt.

00:10:26.000 And I forget the other one.

00:10:29.000 I said I knocked out a guy his size.

00:10:30.000 You're fat and you wear a gay shirt and you smoke weed.

00:10:33.000 After that, still, he's like, you know, him, I get it.

00:10:38.000 I get where he's coming from to me.

00:10:40.000 I just dissed you three times in a row.

00:10:42.000 So that's why he got where you're coming from, especially after you mentioned the Bronx.

00:10:46.000 He was scared.

00:10:46.000 Yeah, I was like, you seem like a West Coaster.

00:10:48.000 Where are you from?

00:10:48.000 You're not from New York.

00:10:49.000 He's like, I'm from the Bronx.

00:10:50.000 I was like, so am I. Now what?

00:10:52.000 He's not from the Bronx.

00:10:53.000 I don't think so.

00:10:54.000 His friends had jersey plates.

00:10:57.000 Anyway, this keeps going.

00:11:00.000 I'm going to fuck you up.

00:11:00.000 Where are we headed?

00:11:01.000 Where are we headed?

00:11:02.000 And he's right in our grill.

00:11:03.000 Like, he's touching us.

00:11:05.000 I'm going, get the fuck away from me.

00:11:07.000 Don't touch me.

00:11:08.000 Don't touch me.

00:11:08.000 He's big on touching.

00:11:10.000 And I go, we're going to go outside.

00:11:11.000 We're going to get in a fight.

00:11:12.000 We're going to go to jail.

00:11:13.000 It's going to be our whole night fucked up because you're an asshole because you don't understand how society works.

00:11:18.000 He's like, you'll faggot.

00:11:20.000 This guy probably fucked you in your ass.

00:11:21.000 I'm like, what does homosexuality got to do with budding in line?

00:11:26.000 Like, maybe I am gay.

00:11:28.000 What the fuck's that got to do with your inability to understand how planes work?

00:11:32.000 Deboarding a plane.

00:11:34.000 And he's got his guys on the phone.

00:11:36.000 Like, he's calling.

00:11:37.000 And then he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm about to go outside.

00:11:39.000 I got to fuck with you.

00:11:41.000 He's with this bro.

00:11:42.000 They're going to throw down.

00:11:43.000 I want you guys to jump in.

00:11:44.000 He's setting up a gang fight.

00:11:47.000 Right.

00:11:48.000 So I was like, well, I don't know what these guys look like.

00:11:50.000 This thing.

00:11:50.000 I know what this guy looks like.

00:11:51.000 So then we finally step outside, and he's still not doing anything.

00:11:55.000 I thought, well, you can't wait till we get outside.

00:11:57.000 He did walk up to me.

00:11:58.000 He was like, so what, you want to hit me?

00:11:59.000 I was like, I never wanted to hit you.

00:12:01.000 I mean, I don't know where this is coming from you, actually, but yeah.

00:12:05.000 So then we get there, and then he's got these three Armenian dudes, and they're all surrounding their car like a Michael Jackson video.

00:12:13.000 Like one's leaning up against the car with his leg up, the other's standing with a cigarette, the other standing like this.

00:12:18.000 Oh!

00:12:21.000 One of them had three bottles on their hands and they're clinking them together.

00:12:25.000 And then he steps on the back of my shoe.

00:12:26.000 I'm like, butt poise.

00:12:28.000 You want to play?

00:12:31.000 He's fucking taunting.

00:12:32.000 Then he steps on the back of my shoe.

00:12:34.000 Oh, really?

00:12:35.000 I didn't see that.

00:12:36.000 Yeah, the cops are there.

00:12:37.000 He goes, how would you feel if I went like this?

00:12:39.000 And then he put his hands on me.

00:12:40.000 And then you backed into him, too.

00:12:42.000 You almost like backed right into him.

00:12:44.000 Remember that?

00:12:45.000 And he just didn't have the balls to throw the first punch, which is what we need to stay out of jail.

00:12:50.000 Right.

00:12:51.000 Then he's doing this kind of thing.

00:12:52.000 Yeah, and then you almost like cocked back and hit him.

00:12:54.000 And I was like, whoa, don't do that.

00:12:56.000 We got cameras.

00:12:57.000 We got cops.

00:12:58.000 I mean, don't hit him first.

00:12:59.000 I remember saying That to you.

00:13:00.000 Then his friend takes off his backpack.

00:13:03.000 And then he goes, just apologize.

00:13:05.000 We can forget this.

00:13:06.000 And then I'm like, no.

00:13:07.000 And then you said, we got to de-escalate this, or we're going to be in jail all night.

00:13:12.000 Yeah, I said, I was like, hey, dude, nobody should have touched anybody.

00:13:15.000 I'm sorry about that.

00:13:16.000 He's like, I want to hear from him.

00:13:19.000 And he goes, at one point, he goes, your man's is even telling you to say sorry.

00:13:23.000 Your man's?

00:13:24.000 I don't have a man's.

00:13:25.000 I have a butt buddy.

00:13:26.000 Thank you.

00:13:26.000 Yeah.

00:13:27.000 That's gay.

00:13:28.000 Yeah.

00:13:28.000 Your man's.

00:13:29.000 We're called butt boys.

00:13:31.000 That's so true.

00:13:33.000 And so then I did something that I was tossing and turning, thinking about all night.

00:13:37.000 I know you were.

00:13:38.000 Deep in regret.

00:13:39.000 I went.

00:13:40.000 Sorry, pal.

00:13:41.000 Yeah, you touched it.

00:13:41.000 No, you touched him.

00:13:42.000 He's like, sorry for touching you.

00:13:43.000 And then you put your hand on his shoulder, which is almost like, fuck you.

00:13:47.000 And then he turns around and sits all angry in his car and his friends peel out.

00:13:52.000 Yeah, he didn't shake my hand too.

00:13:53.000 So I was like, you know, it's good that, you know, we squashed that because we just landed.

00:13:58.000 It was going to be a whole fucking thing.

00:14:00.000 He's like, yeah, you're right, you're right.

00:14:01.000 And I put out my hand to shake it.

00:14:02.000 I don't know why.

00:14:03.000 Shake his hand.

00:14:04.000 He's like, no.

00:14:05.000 And I was like, you're right.

00:14:06.000 I was like, touching each other is what got us here in the first place.

00:14:08.000 I chuckled to myself.

00:14:09.000 Stop touching each other.

00:14:10.000 Yeah.

00:14:11.000 Anyway, that was tense.

00:14:13.000 There was a few other confrontations that week, weekend.

00:14:18.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:19.000 We got Chick-fil-A guy.

00:14:21.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:23.000 So it's WestFest, but it's two things.

00:14:26.000 There's Compound Media had a thing, which I think we should do next year.

00:14:30.000 Censored, should have a censored weekend.

00:14:32.000 We'll have Atheism is Unstoppable, Josh Denny, me, I'll do stand-up.

00:14:37.000 We'll do a live podcast.

00:14:40.000 Charge people a nominal ticket price.

00:14:44.000 And then a selfie moment.

00:14:47.000 Or a moment to do a selfie.

00:14:48.000 Yeah.

00:14:49.000 People are coming up to me after the compound thing going, can we do selfies?

00:14:53.000 And I know you hate them.

00:14:55.000 And then I'm with Proud Boys, like a dozen of them.

00:14:57.000 And they go, oh, this is his thing.

00:14:59.000 He really hates it.

00:15:00.000 100 selfies later, they're starting to see why I hate them.

00:15:05.000 And they're gone.

00:15:06.000 So I lost my buddies.

00:15:08.000 Because they're not going to stand around for half an hour.

00:15:10.000 And it's like after another, after another.

00:15:12.000 Hey, man, I hate to bother you.

00:15:13.000 Can I just get a selfie?

00:15:14.000 Just one.

00:15:15.000 And then they take out their phone.

00:15:17.000 And a lot of them are boomers.

00:15:19.000 So they're sort of sitting there like, okay, here.

00:15:23.000 And then they give it to their wife and she can't figure it out.

00:15:25.000 And I'm sitting there going, what the fuck?

00:15:32.000 So if we do this, we're just going to have to delegate like a selfie moment after my show or something, which Joe Rogan does, which I always thought was lame.

00:15:40.000 But now I realize it's like the best to just get it over with.

00:15:44.000 It's like pulling teeth.

00:15:45.000 I mean, Trump does it.

00:15:46.000 Trump will have a whole day where he's just like for hours and hours and hours.

00:15:54.000 And he must do it a lot because pretty much everyone I know has a picture of them and Trump.

00:15:59.000 True.

00:16:02.000 We don't.

00:16:03.000 I know.

00:16:06.000 So that was annoying.

00:16:07.000 But speaking of Trump, he I don't like this word commentated.

00:16:13.000 It's like when blacks say conversate.

00:16:16.000 That can't be the right term.

00:16:18.000 Narrating?

00:16:19.000 Commenting on?

00:16:20.000 I don't know.

00:16:21.000 So he did the Hollyfield.

00:16:23.000 Who is the other guy?

00:16:26.000 I guess Hollyfield got his ass kicked.

00:16:29.000 Let's see.

00:16:32.000 That was a fantastic job by a really great young man.

00:16:36.000 He's got a big future.

00:16:41.000 Thank you.

00:16:52.000 So for this fight, there's two options.

00:16:54.000 You could get the one with Trump on it, or you could watch the fight with totally different commentary.

00:17:02.000 And I would kill to see the numbers on who chose what.

00:17:05.000 I think it's 85, Trump, 15, didn't want.

00:17:09.000 And it's hard to think of people who would like boxing and hate Trump, and I'm thinking maybe some Mexicans.

00:17:14.000 All Mexicans love boxing.

00:17:16.000 Not all Mexicans love Trump.

00:17:23.000 Jorge, it's great, Junior.

00:17:26.000 It's great to be with you guys and champions.

00:17:28.000 We love you, man.

00:17:29.000 Special people.

00:17:31.000 Special warriors.

00:17:37.000 You know what I thought just as he was talking there?

00:17:39.000 It's like he does a really good trump.

00:17:42.000 That guy's trump is fucking perfect.

00:17:43.000 That guy's trump is almost perfect.

00:17:45.000 I've seen better.

00:17:46.000 Yeah.

00:17:46.000 I've heard better.

00:17:48.000 He's almost like, wow.

00:17:49.000 Wow.

00:17:50.000 He couldn't stop fucking doing that.

00:17:51.000 He says wow, better than he says fucking.

00:17:53.000 Fucking.

00:17:54.000 Wow.

00:17:55.000 Wow.

00:17:57.000 It starts out with a wow.

00:17:59.000 This is funny.

00:18:00.000 He says, these are like, I don't know which way this leans, but they're like pointing at kind of like some goofy things that he said.

00:18:07.000 Anderson Silver.

00:18:08.000 And they're like, who's Anderson Silver?

00:18:10.000 They're like, what's Donald Trump doing at a boxing event?

00:18:12.000 Well, I've known every one of these fighters for a long time, and they're great.

00:18:16.000 Anderson Silver and...

00:18:18.000 Anderson Silver.

00:18:21.000 Yeah.

00:18:23.000 This one, I don't know.

00:18:23.000 And then another one, he says Tyson Fury is basically out of shape.

00:18:28.000 It was funny.

00:18:29.000 Well, he had a great win.

00:18:30.000 He was given no chance.

00:18:32.000 And body type.

00:18:32.000 You talk about body type.

00:18:34.000 That's not a body type for a fighter, it doesn't seem.

00:18:37.000 But he was so loose.

00:18:38.000 You know, he's really a good fighter.

00:18:41.000 He's right, though.

00:18:41.000 He's right.

00:18:42.000 Tyson Fury looks like this.

00:18:44.000 Compounds fans are an unusual bunch.

00:18:48.000 And I met one.

00:18:49.000 I was bored, so I sat with him and had a beer at his behest.

00:18:53.000 And he was like six foot two, normal.

00:18:55.000 He's a nurse for psychos.

00:18:58.000 Normal body.

00:18:59.000 And then he has this huge woman's ass.

00:19:02.000 You know those kind of guys?

00:19:03.000 I do.

00:19:04.000 It's a badass.

00:19:05.000 It's a nurse's build.

00:19:07.000 And I was like, yeah, these prowboys, woof, they do a lot of coke.

00:19:10.000 I can't keep up with them.

00:19:11.000 And he goes, well, I have human-grade ketamine up in the room if you want to do some.

00:19:16.000 No, thank you.

00:19:18.000 I'm not big on doing ketamine with giant-assed strangers.

00:19:24.000 Who, by the way, is covered in satanic tattoos, Baphomet and all this stuff.

00:19:28.000 And I go, your patients must not be huge fans of that.

00:19:31.000 I think I'd be pretty uncomfortable if some Satanist was helping me live.

00:19:37.000 They're not big on life.

00:19:38.000 He's like, no, I put sleeves on at work because the psycho, he had some clinical term about how the psychosis of my patients is derailed.

00:19:52.000 Okay.

00:19:55.000 Anthony came out, Anthony Kumia came out and did stand-up and was fucking amazing.

00:19:59.000 It was hilarious, yeah.

00:20:00.000 They have these, what do you call those things?

00:20:06.000 Ziplines.

00:20:07.000 Zip lines.

00:20:07.000 They have these zip lines, but instead of being like this, you're like this and you can Superman it and you do the whole street.

00:20:13.000 What's that street called?

00:20:14.000 Fullerton?

00:20:14.000 Fremont.

00:20:15.000 Fremont.

00:20:16.000 So we weren't in the nice Vegas.

00:20:18.000 We're in the gross Vegas, which is grosser than anything you can imagine.

00:20:24.000 It's San Francisco.

00:20:26.000 Las Vegas, downtown Vegas, is the elephant's graveyard for methods.

00:20:31.000 It's where people go to pursue meth in a professional way.

00:20:35.000 Like, you know how Margaritaville is where swinging boomers who just love getting drunk on tequila, they all go and the women all have gunts and the men are all bald with flip-flops.

00:20:45.000 And that's where they go to really pursue boomer alcoholism.

00:20:49.000 And Vegas is the same, but meth.

00:20:53.000 Holy shit.

00:20:57.000 The dregs of humanity, just filthy.

00:21:00.000 And when all the casinos are, well, the casinos don't shut down, but when things get really late and most people are asleep, it's Night of the Living Dead.

00:21:08.000 It's World Star Hip Hop, the place.

00:21:12.000 World Star Hip Hop Avenue.

00:21:14.000 Holy shit.

00:21:17.000 And here's the thing.

00:21:18.000 I'm kind of jumping into WestFest here, but Ryan invites his nerdy music club.

00:21:26.000 I don't know if you're low on testosterone, but all your friends are pussies.

00:21:30.000 They're all great.

00:21:31.000 He brings his nerdy friends.

00:21:33.000 One of them insists he meet us at the airport on the way there.

00:21:36.000 Dan.

00:21:37.000 Our buddy Hollowed.

00:21:38.000 Hey, hey, man.

00:21:39.000 How's it going?

00:21:40.000 What are you doing here?

00:21:41.000 I just wanted to be on your flight.

00:21:43.000 Why?

00:21:45.000 Like, we're not sitting together.

00:21:47.000 I don't know.

00:21:49.000 Hey, and then he's asking people questions.

00:21:52.000 He's from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

00:21:55.000 He's the fish guy who just landed here.

00:21:59.000 And he's like going up to during that in the Night of the Living Dead scene when we were in Vegas.

00:22:05.000 All these methods are like, hey, man, do you know how I can get some straws?

00:22:11.000 It's like, oh, where are you from?

00:22:13.000 Like, engaging them.

00:22:15.000 I like your tattoo.

00:22:16.000 Are you Catholic?

00:22:18.000 Me and my buddy Tony had to be mom and dad for Serge and Dan.

00:22:24.000 I don't know if it's a tipsy thing, but I just felt that they were going to talk to people that they ought not to.

00:22:29.000 I was like, if you say something wrong to these people and they attack you, our whole night's going to be different.

00:22:34.000 So please just don't talk to anybody.

00:22:36.000 Because we were at the roulette table and Dan has a full-blown conversation with the dealer.

00:22:40.000 Everybody's waiting for the action to happen.

00:22:42.000 And he's like, oh, it's cool.

00:22:43.000 You're like Catholic or like Orthodox.

00:22:45.000 And I was like, Dan, people have to anime.

00:22:48.000 Talking to people about anime.

00:22:50.000 And he's a target, too, because he's clearly, well, I wanted to say beta male, but he's not a tough guy.

00:22:56.000 He's a nerd with big schnaz and lying.

00:22:58.000 Hey, what's going on?

00:23:00.000 Like, he comes, and he's also got autism.

00:23:03.000 Why did you invite the nerdiest people I've ever met to a working class fighting conference?

00:23:12.000 Well, I said we're going to Vegas for WestFest.

00:23:15.000 It's going to be a big party.

00:23:16.000 Don't do that ever again.

00:23:17.000 Don't invite people to things that are a particular event.

00:23:24.000 There's also the compound event.

00:23:25.000 They knew of this, so it's...

00:23:27.000 And they were there for the...

00:23:28.000 They didn't have tickets for compound.

00:23:29.000 They didn't go to any of the compounds yet.

00:23:30.000 They sure did.

00:23:31.000 And Dan saw the whole thing.

00:23:33.000 Dan had compound tickets.

00:23:35.000 Yeah.

00:23:36.000 So he must have been for the late show.

00:23:37.000 He was for the late show.

00:23:40.000 And then the other guys were just doing their thing.

00:23:42.000 Every time I had to leave, I was like, we got to go do some work or we got to just go to the Proud Boys.

00:23:46.000 You should have seen these two Mexicans.

00:23:47.000 One of them dresses like, they look like they work at a Halloween store.

00:23:50.000 One of them is dressed glam like in a joke video for glam with the hair and the leather jacket that's brand new and chains and stuff.

00:23:59.000 He looks honestly like he's glam for Halloween.

00:24:01.000 And then the other Mexican, he's wearing like colored shades, a fedora, and a suit.

00:24:08.000 And he's like, hey, Gavin, am I a do?

00:24:11.000 Oh, there they are.

00:24:13.000 So the guy with the leather jacket, the nerd in the leather jacket, he also, he was the guy in the suit.

00:24:20.000 Then there's that Tony dude is okay.

00:24:21.000 The tall guy never said one word the entire time.

00:24:24.000 In other words, a dud.

00:24:25.000 And then there's the Glam guy at the end.

00:24:28.000 Like, what the fuck have you done?

00:24:30.000 Glam guy spent 500 bucks at an event that we were supposed to go to, the midget wrestling.

00:24:35.000 Oh, yeah, there was midget wrestling at Larry Flint's Hustler Club.

00:24:39.000 And I go, I don't think Prowboys want to spend like $100 per person.

00:24:44.000 So it's canceled.

00:24:44.000 It's off.

00:24:45.000 Glam guy goes, I already had that in my head.

00:24:47.000 This is how, this is Ryan's friends.

00:24:50.000 I already had that in my head.

00:24:51.000 So I went alone.

00:24:55.000 He really wanted to see tits.

00:24:57.000 So he went to a strip club alone.

00:24:58.000 It's all like toothless Mexicans.

00:25:00.000 And he watches Mexican midgets fight for $500.

00:25:07.000 That's a good investment.

00:25:08.000 There was one proud boy there from, it was a weird scene because everyone's in jail.

00:25:14.000 So there was only two guys from New York, one guy from this chapter, one guy from that chapter.

00:25:18.000 Enrique's in jail, Ethan Nordine, Joe Biggs, and other guys are on bail facing jail.

00:25:24.000 Like the guy who was next to Jay Danielson, Jay Bishop, who I think was on, no, I don't think he was shot.

00:25:30.000 I think they shot at him, but it didn't hit him.

00:25:34.000 He's looking at 50 years.

00:25:35.000 So he's there.

00:25:36.000 He's not exactly in party mode.

00:25:38.000 He's just hanging.

00:25:41.000 But one of the guys from the Arab, and Arizona is only a few hours away, so it's easy for them to go.

00:25:46.000 There's a lot of Ohio dudes, too.

00:25:49.000 Yeah, Ohio always comes out strong.

00:25:51.000 They got cool merch and stuff.

00:25:53.000 Yeah, Arizona's the most organized.

00:25:55.000 They've got like big, big documents, like all these bylaws and shit on what happens if this guy does that and Prospects and how long they last.

00:26:02.000 But one of the fucking idiots, I don't know how you don't have street smarts.

00:26:07.000 It's one or two in the morning, and some black chicks have taken a real liking to him.

00:26:15.000 You know how women are, how horny they are when you're walking down the street.

00:26:18.000 You're always getting ogled, especially when you're a short, fat pig, and they're always like grabbing your ass and stuff.

00:26:24.000 You know how it is.

00:26:25.000 So he succumbed to their insatiable lust and invites them back up to the room.

00:26:30.000 Now, this must have been much later because I was up there too.

00:26:33.000 So maybe let's say five, right?

00:26:36.000 So half the guys are asleep.

00:26:39.000 And he's smooching one of them while the other runs everyone's pockets.

00:26:43.000 Now, she only gets money out of most pockets, but for him, I guess his pants were like at his ankles, and she grabs his phone and everything.

00:26:52.000 And then they go, oh, we got to go before they have to do any sexual favors.

00:26:56.000 And they run out the room, and then he's chasing them down the hallway in his underwear.

00:26:59.000 He lost, so they stole 500 bucks from one dude's wallet, and then like 600 bucks from his with all his ID and his phone.

00:27:10.000 And he can't check into his room now.

00:27:14.000 And he was like, oh man, I feel so stupid.

00:27:16.000 And I go, you are.

00:27:18.000 You should feel bad.

00:27:19.000 He goes, I don't know if I'm in the club anymore.

00:27:21.000 I go, you shouldn't be.

00:27:22.000 And then I just, I couldn't sit with him.

00:27:24.000 I couldn't look at him.

00:27:26.000 I was so disgusted in him.

00:27:28.000 What a fucking imbecile.

00:27:31.000 We took him out for lunch.

00:27:32.000 We felt bad.

00:27:33.000 See, that's another problem with you.

00:27:35.000 Well, you got to look out for your brothers.

00:27:36.000 You're a woman.

00:27:37.000 You have to look out for your brothers.

00:27:38.000 No, that's why he's in trouble because he didn't look out for his brothers.

00:27:42.000 And he jeopardized his brother's safety and got them robbed.

00:27:45.000 His brother was in it, too.

00:27:46.000 He wanted some whatever type of.

00:27:49.000 No, the guy who got robbed was fast asleep.

00:27:52.000 Oh, he said he made it seem like they were both in on.

00:27:55.000 The bodybuilding guy?

00:27:56.000 He was totally asleep.

00:27:58.000 That's a bad move.

00:28:00.000 Yeah, if you don't reward that, Ryan.

00:28:04.000 You're such a chick.

00:28:06.000 But we're getting into Vegas too much.

00:28:09.000 Other news we have to cover is this trans fighter who was a bodybuilder.

00:28:14.000 Totally fucking ripped dude like, I don't know, a year ago.

00:28:18.000 And now he's in MMA.

00:28:20.000 And we just realized what these men in MMA do is they throw the first round.

00:28:26.000 And I noticed on Twitter too, she kept saying, hey, you're trivializing blah, blah, blah's incredible fight.

00:28:33.000 She definitely won the first round.

00:28:36.000 Yeah, so that's him before.

00:28:38.000 I've seen pictures of him with a beard where he's even more ripped than that.

00:28:43.000 So he takes some estrogen.

00:28:44.000 He gets slightly smaller arms.

00:28:46.000 But as Joe Rogan points out, you're still training with your normal man arms your whole life.

00:28:52.000 So you've practiced power.

00:28:53.000 You've been working with power your whole life.

00:28:56.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:28:59.000 That guy knows how to deliver a punch.

00:29:01.000 And then he gets slightly smaller muscles, shaves his beard, dyes his hair pink, and becomes not just trans, but a trans activist.

00:29:09.000 Throws the first round, and then he can really turn it on.

00:29:14.000 What's that?

00:29:15.000 I hate that filter.

00:29:21.000 What is this?

00:29:21.000 The highlights?

00:29:28.000 Very appreciative for Provost to take this fight.

00:29:30.000 I know how appreciative it's.

00:29:33.000 She hasn't used the Provost.

00:29:36.000 Did not find it.

00:29:37.000 Protection there from Provost.

00:29:39.000 See, that stopped.

00:29:40.000 That's awesome.

00:29:42.000 She has never been hit like that before.

00:29:44.000 She just got hit with a man's punch, and she literally says, ow!

00:29:50.000 What was that?

00:29:51.000 What the fuck?

00:29:52.000 She does that multiple times.

00:29:54.000 Do the car just plow into me?

00:29:57.000 Whoa.

00:29:58.000 Right there.

00:29:58.000 What the fuck?

00:30:05.000 This is the left's utopia.

00:30:07.000 This is their idea of equality.

00:30:09.000 Women getting the shit beaten out of them.

00:30:11.000 This is what life is like without the patriarchy.

00:30:13.000 He's pretending to struggle, by the way.

00:30:15.000 Smash the patriarchy?

00:30:16.000 Okay.

00:30:17.000 Smash the patriarchy and women get smashed in the face.

00:30:28.000 There's a lot of fake struggle there.

00:30:30.000 Fake weak punches.

00:30:32.000 It's so obvious.

00:30:34.000 You can tell her jab is just like a...

00:30:38.000 Yeah, look.

00:30:39.000 Look at that.

00:30:39.000 Fake.

00:30:40.000 So fake.

00:30:41.000 Oh.

00:30:41.000 That one too.

00:30:42.000 Oh, that's some short patches.

00:30:44.000 That jab that barely got me really rocked my world.

00:30:48.000 And then he can finally fucking.

00:30:51.000 You know what?

00:30:51.000 Maybe there's some deep-seated resentment.

00:30:55.000 Because I've always sensed gays have this weird kind of evil misogyny in them.

00:31:01.000 Like when we're misogynists, we're just kidding.

00:31:03.000 Like, it's nice to get away from broads, huh?

00:31:05.000 Hey, go make me a sandwich.

00:31:06.000 There's no hatred there, obviously.

00:31:07.000 We worship them.

00:31:08.000 They're magic.

00:31:10.000 They give us children.

00:31:11.000 So we're like, you're stupid.

00:31:13.000 Same way I think Yankees fans are stupid.

00:31:15.000 But with them, I want to be a woman.

00:31:19.000 I want to be a woman.

00:31:21.000 And I can never be a woman.

00:31:23.000 And it's so hard for me.

00:31:24.000 I got to take all these pills.

00:31:25.000 It's so hard for me to get just that little bit of femininity.

00:31:29.000 And I look at you, you fucking bitch.

00:31:32.000 And you do it so easily.

00:31:34.000 It's so effortless for you.

00:31:36.000 You fucking whore.

00:31:38.000 You fucking bitch.

00:31:39.000 He's so mad that she gets it all.

00:31:42.000 It's like it's jealousy, basically.

00:31:45.000 So in these fights, I just made this up, but I think it's a good theory.

00:31:49.000 These men with tits are punching the shit out of the woman they can never be.

00:31:54.000 There's something even darker there, too, because they don't need them for any reason.

00:31:58.000 Men need women, straight men, and gay men don't.

00:32:02.000 They have no use for them.

00:32:03.000 I would say drag queens are an attack on women.

00:32:06.000 Drag queens are a minstrel show.

00:32:08.000 You're mocking women.

00:32:09.000 Now, maybe you're mocking the fact that you feel this way, and it's self-mockery, and you're mocking the fact that you'll never be female.

00:32:17.000 That's conceivable.

00:32:19.000 But I think it's also everything bad they say about blackface.

00:32:22.000 You're lampooning them, and you're doing it because you hate them.

00:32:26.000 They eat the lamp poo-poo.

00:32:29.000 I love lamp poo-poo.

00:32:32.000 This has also been...

00:32:35.000 This has been going around.

00:32:36.000 We can't talk about it tomorrow.

00:32:38.000 It's amazing how many letters we got yesterday about September 11th.

00:32:41.000 Do you think I'm going to do a September 11th show today?

00:32:44.000 Would that be current?

00:32:46.000 Guys, I told you on Thursday night to send me all your September 11th letters.

00:32:52.000 I got like 100 yesterday.

00:32:56.000 It's a news show, folks.

00:32:58.000 You got to be a little quicker.

00:33:01.000 Look at this fuckhead, though.

00:33:02.000 So there was a memorial.

00:33:03.000 They're all over the states.

00:33:05.000 They put up 2,977 American flags.

00:33:08.000 This guy takes them down because if you're going to put those up, you have to include the fact that America invaded the Middle East after.

00:33:18.000 Remember, Enrique Tario was in jail for burning a flag.

00:33:27.000 Hi.

00:33:27.000 Who are you?

00:33:32.000 Beat him up.

00:33:33.000 Okay.

00:33:37.000 Kind of weird when some random person just walks up and photographs you.

00:33:42.000 Sorry to offend you.

00:33:49.000 He feels uncomfortable.

00:33:50.000 But there's more in that thread.

00:33:55.000 When asked, wait, go up.

00:33:57.000 When asked why he vandalized the display, Fidel Ali Calini told Young Americans for Freedom, I did not violate any university or legal policy.

00:34:06.000 Now go away.

00:34:09.000 Keep going.

00:34:15.000 Oh, he's deleted all his posts.

00:34:19.000 Let's, like, no, click on that link.

00:34:25.000 Yeah, see, he's removed all his shit.

00:34:28.000 He's probably getting death threats.

00:34:31.000 Imagine, I mean, these aren't just, like, people who killed Muslims.

00:34:35.000 These are people who were killed by Muslims.

00:34:37.000 You're not allowed to recognize that?

00:34:40.000 We condemn the blah, blah, blah.

00:34:42.000 Yeah, okay.

00:34:45.000 Another thing that can't wait till tomorrow is this viral video going around where this black guy is fucking with some innocent old man.

00:34:53.000 And what's amazing to me about it is that he wouldn't think there'd be a problem with that.

00:34:58.000 It's the same as the teachers, the libs of TikTok teachers, the way they so shamelessly put up their videos.

00:35:08.000 So it's not that this guy was caught doing something shitty to an old person.

00:35:12.000 It's that he recorded it and put it out there.

00:35:15.000 That's really the takeaway from this, is how totally fucking shameless it is.

00:35:19.000 In other words, we haven't taught our young people that this is a shitty way to be.

00:35:26.000 In fact, we've taught him the opposite.

00:35:28.000 We've taught him that he grew up in a racist society and that old white man made all his money off of cotton picking while your dad was a slave.

00:35:36.000 This is the result of woke Marxism in schools.

00:35:40.000 It's blacks getting revenge on old whites.

00:35:48.000 Oh, you're hungry.

00:35:57.000 I'd advise you to go in the kitchen and fix yourself something to eat.

00:36:01.000 I said I advise you to go in the kitchen and fix yourself something to eat.

00:36:07.000 I'm so hard of hearing.

00:36:11.000 By the way, he's not hard of hearing.

00:36:14.000 You can't speak English.

00:36:15.000 You're hunk.

00:36:17.000 You's hungry.

00:36:18.000 You is?

00:36:22.000 How does this guy have a job there?

00:36:23.000 Is this the chick from that Tyler Perry movie?

00:36:26.000 From the bathtub scene?

00:36:32.000 The one where she rolls him into the wheelchair in the hot tub.

00:36:37.000 This also can't wait till tomorrow.

00:36:39.000 These kids trolled Biden.

00:36:41.000 I assume CNN's going to be doxing them any second now.

00:36:44.000 President Joe Biden was pictured Saturday with kids wearing MAGA hats.

00:36:47.000 Some praised the photo.

00:36:48.000 Founder of a conservative nonprofit praised the picture.

00:36:50.000 Phone producer Errol tweeted Joe Biden got punked by Trump kids.

00:36:54.000 Is he so oblivious that he didn't notice their hats?

00:36:57.000 You'll see the picture in a second.

00:36:58.000 Or did they sort of snake him on at the last second?

00:37:02.000 Let's see the picture.

00:37:04.000 It's pretty great.

00:37:06.000 Wait, did the hold on a second.

00:37:09.000 It said the fire department apology, post an apology if people were offended by the 9-11 post, including images of Biden.

00:37:20.000 Thanks, Ryan.

00:37:21.000 But what am I not getting here?

00:37:22.000 That Biden was in the picture?

00:37:23.000 Sorry if that offended people?

00:37:26.000 No, that would be included.

00:37:28.000 He said including.

00:37:31.000 So they're just covering their asses.

00:37:34.000 But look at that.

00:37:35.000 Go back up.

00:37:37.000 So I understand missing the shirts.

00:37:39.000 You can't be looking at every single person's shirt you take a picture with.

00:37:43.000 But Trump, red Trump hat is pretty fucking big.

00:37:47.000 So did you think she had that on?

00:37:48.000 I think she had that on, and he's so oblivious he didn't notice.

00:37:53.000 I mean, that's really the takeaway for this thing, is that Biden is so blind he can't see Trump hats in his face.

00:38:04.000 So that was fun.

00:38:06.000 And then finally, Pam Keith, a former Democratic candidate for Congress, said that January 6th, she thought September 11th was the worst thing that ever happened to America, but now it's January 6th.

00:38:23.000 Nothing comes close.

00:38:27.000 On 1-6, 2021, and then new sentence, 9-11 ceased being the worst thing that happened to America in my lifetime.

00:38:38.000 It's really weird and painful to process and say that, but it's the truth.

00:38:42.000 And quite frankly, it's not even close.

00:38:46.000 So the meandering that really got one person killed, and it was an innocent white woman by an angry black man, the meandering was worse than 3,000 people getting killed when two planes smashed in to the World Trade Center.

00:39:04.000 What the fuck?

00:39:06.000 So she got trolled for that, but it wasn't that unusual of a sentiment.

00:39:11.000 Look, the sun.

00:39:13.000 I forgot to number these.

00:39:14.000 She's the bookshelf shower curtain lady.

00:39:17.000 Go to the last link there.

00:39:20.000 Yeah.

00:39:21.000 I saw a few people saying this, though.

00:39:23.000 And that really shows you where their brains are at.

00:39:27.000 3,000 people is as bad as one.

00:39:33.000 I told you the guy at my fucking bar, blue-collar mechanic, said, every one of those guys you went there should get 10 years.

00:39:41.000 What?

00:39:45.000 All right, do you have any footage from our fun trip?

00:39:48.000 There was that one you sent me the Apple News separately?

00:39:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:54.000 See, that's what I mean by it wasn't that rare of a concept.

00:39:57.000 Go back.

00:39:58.000 So Apple News, I don't get those alerts.

00:40:01.000 It's weird how many of my friends will read Apple News and Yahoo News and stuff.

00:40:06.000 How the 9-11 attacks ushered in an era of fear and mistrust in the U.S. and set the stage for the January 6th insurrection.

00:40:16.000 That's such a weird angle.

00:40:19.000 Isn't it?

00:40:22.000 So are you saying that it made us paranoid?

00:40:28.000 I think we have a right to be paranoid after Muslims crash into the World Trade Center.

00:40:33.000 But the implication there is that the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, radical Islam, is the same as the Capitol building.

00:40:45.000 I mean, flesh out your hypothesis here, folks, at Apple News.

00:40:49.000 What are you saying?

00:40:51.000 Are you saying that the people who invaded the Capitol are Islamophobes who were traumatized by 9-11 and that's why they stormed the Capitol?

00:40:59.000 No.

00:41:01.000 The insurrection was 100% anger at a stolen election.

00:41:08.000 Now, within that, there was anger at how the media covers Trump and the election and the way they're treated in the media.

00:41:15.000 That was definitely part of it.

00:41:17.000 But 9-11 had fuck all to do with January 6th.

00:41:23.000 Obviously, you fucking retards.

00:41:31.000 Covered all that.

00:41:33.000 Do you have any footage?

00:41:34.000 I think I already spilled the beans on them.

00:41:42.000 What, you made a little video?

00:41:44.000 I'm just playing this in the background.

00:41:46.000 This is just B-roll behind some Vegas talk.

00:41:50.000 Like, I want to have a censored meetup there.

00:41:56.000 It could coincide with Westfest.

00:41:58.000 But, um...

00:41:59.000 I don't know.

00:42:00.000 It's like, Vegas is so depressing.

00:42:03.000 It is.

00:42:04.000 But I kind of like it.

00:42:05.000 And maybe we should avoid downtown next time and do the main strip.

00:42:09.000 That might be a little cheerier.

00:42:10.000 New Vegas, yeah.

00:42:12.000 Like that, that seeing those meth heads was just disgusting.

00:42:20.000 We got some of that post-apocalyptic Vegas stuff here.

00:42:29.000 And not only is it depressing and gross, right, when you're walking around downtown, it's 110 degrees and gross.

00:42:35.000 At least Seattle and Portland, you're comfortable as you throw up looking at vomit on the street.

00:42:42.000 It's such a ghost town in these areas that it looks like they built stuff for a world that doesn't exist anymore.

00:42:49.000 Like houses that don't exist.

00:42:51.000 Yeah, it looks like there was a nuclear war 50 years ago.

00:42:57.000 Just about right.

00:42:58.000 And we're slowly rebuilding society.

00:43:00.000 Of course, with the radiation, it's very hot out.

00:43:04.000 But every time I got an Uber, I just felt like saying, what are you doing here?

00:43:09.000 How can you live here?

00:43:10.000 Even that cool house Proud Boys rented, look at that guy.

00:43:13.000 He takes, I don't know, cornstalk leaves and he makes little flowers out of them.

00:43:18.000 And then girls stripping on the bar are not hot.

00:43:20.000 The guy playing drums on the buckets is okay.

00:43:27.000 Yeah, the entertainment stuff types, it tends to like, you get Tom Brady.

00:43:32.000 You're used to it, and then you're like, okay, this is just.

00:43:37.000 I saw some old lady with giant tits that hung down to her knees, and she was wearing an old lady mask on her old lady face.

00:43:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:43:44.000 And it said, broke as shit, need money.

00:43:48.000 Okay, careful not to dox anyone here.

00:43:50.000 No, I check this.

00:43:51.000 It's just the back of heads.

00:43:57.000 I got in a fight with one of the proud boys where he's like, yeah, I got a great relationship with my son.

00:44:00.000 You know, at 19, he came back in my life and he told me he's gay.

00:44:03.000 And I was like, well, let's go to a gay bar.

00:44:06.000 I can't go in the past.

00:44:08.000 And the kid goes, I hated you growing up because mom remarried this black dude who used to beat the shit out of me and her.

00:44:14.000 And I'm like, he's right.

00:44:16.000 You did fuck up.

00:44:18.000 Well, she moved the kid out of town.

00:44:19.000 Yeah, you follow the kid.

00:44:20.000 First of all, it's illegal to move more than 50 miles.

00:44:23.000 But say it was legal.

00:44:24.000 You follow the kid the 50 miles.

00:44:27.000 You move in next door.

00:44:29.000 You don't let your kid get taken away.

00:44:31.000 Go take a cub away from a bear.

00:44:34.000 Tell me how that works for you.

00:44:35.000 Go take a duckling away from a duck.

00:44:37.000 Look at these gross, sad glam rockers doing covers.

00:44:42.000 And go back, go back.

00:44:43.000 I don't know if you can see this, but their shoes, their shoes are all like dirty and warped.

00:44:50.000 They have like old black Reeboks that handicapped people wear.

00:44:58.000 Oh yeah.

00:44:59.000 Ew, they're all worn out and the tongues are like sideways.

00:45:03.000 You know when someone has a cripple and they have a weird walk?

00:45:07.000 Yes.

00:45:07.000 And their shoes age weird sideways because that's how they stand with their right foot?

00:45:12.000 That's what their shoes looked like.

00:45:14.000 They're not bringing their best out there.

00:45:18.000 Ugh.

00:45:19.000 That casino was nice.

00:45:20.000 Yeah, that was.

00:45:21.000 The circa.

00:45:22.000 That's where we're hanging out with the compound guys afterwards.

00:45:25.000 Anthony.

00:45:26.000 That was very fun.

00:45:26.000 That was very cool.

00:45:27.000 And here's the guy who started the Chick-fil-A fight.

00:45:32.000 Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one.

00:45:34.000 So, Dan is a beta male.

00:45:36.000 All Ryan's friends are.

00:45:37.000 That's what he attracts.

00:45:38.000 He must have low tea or something, Ryan.

00:45:42.000 And he's at the counter.

00:45:44.000 That guy right there with the 20.

00:45:47.000 So they're at the counter picking up their meal.

00:45:49.000 And Dan goes, Hey, can I get a bit of milk in my coffee?

00:45:53.000 Not too much, though.

00:45:54.000 Do you have any cream?

00:45:55.000 I'd prefer cream.

00:45:57.000 And the guy goes, Hey, maybe if you're so particular about your coffee, you can be particular about your mask and put it over your nose.

00:46:03.000 And then what did you guys say?

00:46:05.000 He kind of said it to me, though.

00:46:07.000 So I was weird out by that.

00:46:10.000 I was like, what's that?

00:46:11.000 And I leaned forward towards him.

00:46:13.000 I didn't have the mask on.

00:46:14.000 He's like, put your mask on your face.

00:46:17.000 If you're that particular about, he thinks this is an awesome line, so he repeats it.

00:46:20.000 He's like, if you're so particular about the food, why aren't you particular about the mask?

00:46:26.000 Meanwhile, the line is full of guys with their nose peeking out over there.

00:46:30.000 That's what I said right afterwards.

00:46:31.000 Yeah, I was like, all right, well, maybe if you asked me nicely, I'd put it on.

00:46:35.000 I put it down for a second, but you're rude.

00:46:37.000 You're rude.

00:46:38.000 And he was kind of taken aback.

00:46:40.000 He thought maybe I was just like one of these Asians.

00:46:42.000 Like, sorry.

00:46:44.000 But anyway, so I was like, what about those guys?

00:46:46.000 Those guys, they're big guys.

00:46:48.000 They have no mask on.

00:46:49.000 I was like, those guys got no masks.

00:46:50.000 You want to tell them?

00:46:51.000 I was like, guys, this guy's got something to say about your mask.

00:46:53.000 And they're like, what's that?

00:46:54.000 He's like, well, just that if you're so particular.

00:46:58.000 No, I can't use that.

00:46:59.000 He's just nervous.

00:47:01.000 And then now this other kid, like this total hillbilly kid, is sitting there drinking a neon blue cup.

00:47:07.000 And he's like, why?

00:47:09.000 Don't spoil it yet.

00:47:10.000 So he's like, the guy keeps yelling.

00:47:13.000 He's like, it's science.

00:47:14.000 It's science.

00:47:15.000 Yeah, he's screaming.

00:47:16.000 It's science.

00:47:17.000 His wife is like, honey, please stop.

00:47:19.000 And the redneck kid's like, what the fuck's he talking about?

00:47:22.000 I was like, he's Joe Biden voter.

00:47:24.000 He's pissed about the masks.

00:47:26.000 He's like, oh, dude, fuck the masks.

00:47:27.000 Fuck Joe Biden.

00:47:29.000 I was like, what are you drinking?

00:47:30.000 He was like, oh, it's Plight and Tequila.

00:47:33.000 So if you're hungover, you can get drunk and restore your electrolytes.

00:47:36.000 I was like, that's good plan.

00:47:37.000 Now that's science.

00:47:38.000 That's science.

00:47:41.000 And then the whole line started just hating this man.

00:47:44.000 And then his wife, poor wife, was just like, yikes.

00:47:47.000 Well, the crazy thing about it is he's saying it's science.

00:47:50.000 It's science.

00:47:51.000 To wear your mask in the line.

00:47:53.000 Surrounding us are people sitting down with no mask, as is the rule.

00:47:58.000 So is that science?

00:48:01.000 He doesn't care.

00:48:02.000 The other thing I didn't get is, so you got your Chick-fil-A now.

00:48:06.000 Where are you going?

00:48:08.000 Are you going back to your room to eat it?

00:48:10.000 Or are you going to sit down at a table?

00:48:12.000 Are you going to take your mask off?

00:48:14.000 What's your plan?

00:48:16.000 Why are you in Vegas?

00:48:20.000 Why are you in Vegas?

00:48:22.000 It's a right-wing place, generally.

00:48:25.000 And I apologize for itching my nose so much.

00:48:29.000 I got whiskers going up into it and tickling me.

00:48:32.000 It's a right-wing place.

00:48:34.000 And everyone's sitting down.

00:48:36.000 You're in a crowded area.

00:48:40.000 You're in a crowded area.

00:48:46.000 We met people that had a pigeon.

00:48:49.000 That was their pet pigeon.

00:48:50.000 You would have loved them.

00:48:52.000 They're from California.

00:48:53.000 It's a family mom, dad, kid, and pigeon.

00:48:56.000 They bring him all over the place.

00:48:58.000 He's got a cage, like a bubble boy cage, and they have a little cooling pack so that way he doesn't get hot.

00:49:07.000 And that's what he does.

00:49:08.000 They try to pet him, and he kind of just doesn't like it, and he just bobs his head around.

00:49:12.000 What's he eating there?

00:49:13.000 That's his little toy.

00:49:15.000 He likes that toy?

00:49:17.000 He loves that toy.

00:49:18.000 As much as a pigeon could love anything.

00:49:22.000 Someone needs to break it to these pet owners that pets have no feelings and they're not people.

00:49:37.000 What did we just watch?

00:49:39.000 I'm having some kind of a sinus breakdown.

00:49:42.000 Was that a yawn or the whole audience was waiting for a sneeze and then you yawned?

00:49:47.000 It was both.

00:49:48.000 It was like a sneeze that got killed by a yawn.

00:49:51.000 All my instincts in my face are going sideways.

00:49:54.000 I haven't seen anything like that before.

00:49:56.000 That was funny.

00:49:57.000 Is that it for the B-roll?

00:49:59.000 There's a Pat Dixon thing, right?

00:50:00.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 There's a little interview.

00:50:01.000 We could tag it on the end of the app or we could watch it now.

00:50:04.000 It's about a couple minutes.

00:50:06.000 Let's watch it and then go to a green screen.

00:50:08.000 I've had enough talking about Vegas.

00:50:10.000 All right.

00:50:11.000 Then we will hit the Pat interview after this quick bumperoo.

00:50:19.000 If you only knew.

00:50:44.000 Hey, kind of nervous here.

00:50:46.000 We're backstage.

00:50:48.000 It's in Las Vegas.

00:50:50.000 Las Vegas.

00:50:52.000 Las Vegas.

00:50:53.000 What a thing.

00:50:55.000 We're downtown.

00:50:57.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:50:58.000 Stop.

00:50:59.000 That's unlistenable.

00:51:03.000 Ryan, you gotta work out your audio skills here.

00:51:09.000 I assumed this was working.

00:51:11.000 You can't hear shit.

00:51:12.000 It's not usable footage.

00:51:14.000 You should tell me before we put something up that it's not usable.

00:51:20.000 Anyway.

00:51:22.000 New subject.

00:51:23.000 Let's reboot the show.

00:51:25.000 Amber Ruffin.

00:51:26.000 She's from Nebraska.

00:51:28.000 It's Omaha, Nebraska.

00:51:30.000 I think Omaha is about 12% black, but Nebraska is only about 5%.

00:51:34.000 It's a white state.

00:51:35.000 It's white culture.

00:51:36.000 It's like Washington and other Midwestern Rust Belt kind of places.

00:51:41.000 Wonderful place.

00:51:42.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:51:43.000 I love Nebraska.

00:51:44.000 But to come from there and devote your whole life to racism and being black is just blackface, really.

00:51:52.000 She's a wigger.

00:51:55.000 She is a spoiled brat.

00:51:58.000 She got a degree in improv, but is terrible on stage, so she just became a writer, comedy writer, and her parents would send her places.

00:52:08.000 Her mother would, I assume her dad isn't around.

00:52:10.000 And she spent some time living in Amsterdam doing improv.

00:52:15.000 What does that mean?

00:52:15.000 English improv?

00:52:17.000 Anyway, she met a white man there because if you go to Europe and you're black, you can get way out of your league.

00:52:22.000 Sort of like that sleeping giants chick, Mandini, Mangini, Manini.

00:52:27.000 So she comes back with him, they're married, and then she starts giving him the black business because she's from Nebraska, the hood.

00:52:34.000 And she goes, look, you've got to understand, when we, because he was yelling at someone for doing something bad, he might be a butt boy for all we know.

00:52:41.000 And she said, look, you can't do that.

00:52:45.000 You can do it if you're alone, but if I'm with you, you can't because the police will come and then I'll go to jail because I'm black.

00:52:52.000 Which he probably likes.

00:52:54.000 That's probably why he married her.

00:52:56.000 He wanted some of the cachet of being with the oppressed.

00:52:59.000 She's not oppressed.

00:53:00.000 Yet, she's anyone's dog for a bone.

00:53:03.000 So her story was she decides just to live on her blackness in this business.

00:53:09.000 And back when, remember this controversy?

00:53:14.000 I've repeated it a few times, but the problem was that there weren't enough black women on SNL.

00:53:20.000 And the fat black dude, what's his name again?

00:53:23.000 Keenan Wayans or something?

00:53:25.000 He goes, yeah, I go to auditions with Lorne.

00:53:28.000 And unfortunately, a lot of these women, black women, aren't ready.

00:53:32.000 I mean, I'd love to have them, but that's just, it's the auditions.

00:53:36.000 So it's not us, so he's defending himself and his company saying, it's not like we're seeing all these awesome black women and saying, no.

00:53:43.000 We're just seeing them when they're not ready.

00:53:44.000 I wish there was more.

00:53:45.000 I want more.

00:53:46.000 We're not racist.

00:53:47.000 It's sort of like they go, blacks keep getting pulled over on traffic stops.

00:53:53.000 Yeah, because they commit more traffic crimes.

00:53:55.000 Sorry, it's possible that the blacks are responsible for these things, is all he said.

00:54:00.000 Anyway, that blew up and became SNL is racist.

00:54:03.000 So she auditioned for a role on it.

00:54:07.000 And the bar was low.

00:54:09.000 They were about to take anyone.

00:54:11.000 So they took Leslie Jones, who was terrible.

00:54:14.000 She was a failed comic who had given up on comedy.

00:54:18.000 And I guess she wanted to go back to her roots, which was helping her brother deal crack.

00:54:22.000 She came on.

00:54:24.000 The NAACP hated her.

00:54:25.000 They said she was racist because she did slave jokes.

00:54:27.000 I'm not even fucking kidding.

00:54:29.000 Anyway, Seth Meyers, who's a lackey over there.

00:54:32.000 He's a company man who's not funny, but if you have your nose to the grindstone over there in that industry, they eventually set you up.

00:54:39.000 And she knew that.

00:54:41.000 So she goes, I'm a hard worker.

00:54:43.000 I'm black.

00:54:44.000 Fuck talent.

00:54:45.000 I'll just work hard.

00:54:47.000 And Seth Meyer maybe recognized her as a fellow talentless hack.

00:54:51.000 So he hired her for his show.

00:54:54.000 And she does his show regularly.

00:54:56.000 And she also works with the government to help promote their agenda using comedy.

00:55:01.000 Now, they obviously have a massive budget to help black people get vaccinated because it's the Achilles heel with COVID.

00:55:08.000 The problem with COVID is blacks aren't into it.

00:55:12.000 And that's really bad because they need to get to 100%.

00:55:15.000 And if the only ones that aren't getting it are black, now it's a racist thing.

00:55:20.000 And all their eggs are in the race basket.

00:55:22.000 And the Dems have a good track record on controlling black people.

00:55:26.000 You know, what did LBGs say?

00:55:28.000 We'll have these niggers voting for us for 100 years.

00:55:30.000 But for some reason, it's not working out with vaccine.

00:55:34.000 So this talentless comedian is focused on promoting the vaccine.

00:55:38.000 Not only does she put it on her show, which I'm sure she gets a little side check for, but she actually glaringly, obviously, very openly works for the CDC.

00:55:48.000 So here's some examples.

00:55:50.000 This whole idea for this green screen was sent in by a baby monster.

00:55:53.000 So thanks for doing our research.

00:55:55.000 I wouldn't have come across this normally.

00:55:57.000 I don't pay attention to Seth Myers.

00:56:00.000 Does anyone?

00:56:01.000 All right, so here she is with some other dude I'm supposed to recognize covering poison, but telling you the vaccine's not poison.

00:56:09.000 The FDA recently approved Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine, which is freaking great news.

00:56:16.000 Now, a lot of people felt skeptical because the emergency rollout didn't give enough time to thoroughly vet it.

00:56:24.000 Well, now they have.

00:56:26.000 And you can relax knowing that there is no poison in the vaccine.

00:56:32.000 Isn't that right, James?

00:56:33.000 It sure is, Amber.

00:56:40.000 Poison.

00:56:41.000 In fact, we have a song for all those who may still be on the fence about getting vaccinated.

00:56:51.000 Fighter vaccine in full effect.

00:56:53.000 Are you ready, James?

00:56:54.000 I'm ready.

00:56:55.000 You ready, Amber?

00:56:56.000 Yeah, I'm ready.

00:56:57.000 Hold on a second.

00:56:58.000 Have you noticed, by the way, that they keep choosing these really, really out-of-date rap songs?

00:57:04.000 Bel Biv DeVoe.

00:57:05.000 The other one was the guy from Run DMC.

00:57:08.000 I don't think you're changing a lot of post-Generation X minds with Bel Biv DeVoe.

00:57:15.000 Are you?

00:57:16.000 Have you even heard of this song, Ryan?

00:57:19.000 Okay.

00:57:20.000 Poison's kind of a hit.

00:57:23.000 Girl, I must warn you.

00:57:26.000 I sense that you're causing lots of harm.

00:57:31.000 The situation is serious.

00:57:35.000 Let's cure it with two shots in the arm.

00:57:39.000 It kind of has a minstrel vibe, doesn't it?

00:57:56.000 Oh, this is weird.

00:57:57.000 So she's written this.

00:58:00.000 Her whole business is anti-white stuff.

00:58:02.000 And of course she's married to a white man.

00:58:05.000 But so this is the people who are not getting the vaccine are me, the horse D-Wormer people, Joe Rogan.

00:58:12.000 We watch too much Fox News.

00:58:13.000 We're stupid conservatives.

00:58:15.000 Yet, this is a rap song and it's meant to appeal to black people.

00:58:20.000 What the fuck is going on?

00:58:21.000 Do these two realize what percentage of the black population is refusing the vaccine?

00:58:27.000 I mean, it's the majority of anti-vaxxers.

00:58:36.000 Wow, yay!

00:58:37.000 You're doing a circle thing.

00:58:42.000 How did you learn to dance black in Nebraska and the Netherlands?

00:58:47.000 Information.

00:58:48.000 Now, some of them did.

00:58:49.000 There is no poison.

00:58:51.000 Woo!

00:58:56.000 FDA of Computer Sky Narrative.

00:58:58.000 This is comedy.

00:58:59.000 This is on Seth Meyer.

00:59:01.000 So you tune in to be amused after a hard day's work.

00:59:04.000 You're up late and you're treated to dancing propaganda.

00:59:12.000 Facebook.

00:59:26.000 Is that it?

00:59:29.000 It ends there, Ryan?

00:59:33.000 So the woman is devoid of talent.

00:59:35.000 I assume she wrote that.

00:59:36.000 I hope she wrote that.

00:59:37.000 And it's fucking terrible.

00:59:38.000 What's this?

00:59:40.000 She's pregnant?

00:59:42.000 She doesn't take her husband's last name because it's too weird.

00:59:47.000 Enjoys a lunch.

00:59:48.000 Why are you showing me this?

00:59:50.000 Yeah, we know.

00:59:52.000 He's from the Netherlands.

00:59:53.000 What did you think he was going to look like?

00:59:55.000 I didn't even have to show people.

00:59:56.000 All right, so what's the next video the baby monster sent?

01:00:01.000 The Texas Heartbeat Bill has become six weeks or later.

01:00:07.000 Here to talk about it is Amber Ruffin with Amber's Minute of Fury.

01:00:15.000 Nice font choice.

01:00:17.000 Every politician in Texas wants to be in charge of my body so bad.

01:00:22.000 Well, if you're going to be in charge of my body, really do it then.

01:00:25.000 Be in charge of my whole body, fro to toes.

01:00:29.000 Make it all your problem.

01:00:30.000 I'm lactose intolerant and I love ice cream.

01:00:33.000 So every time I want to have Dairy Queen, tackle me.

01:00:37.000 And you better be strong too because I love a peanut butter parfait.

01:00:40.000 Tell form.

01:00:42.000 First of all, why do they all scream like Mike Michelle Wolf?

01:00:45.000 Is that the new thing in comedy?

01:00:46.000 Secondly, that's a super corny joke.

01:00:49.000 Tackle me every time I go to Dairy Queen.

01:00:51.000 And thirdly, that's ancient news.

01:00:53.000 That's been done a million times.

01:00:55.000 I think most notably the one that male Kurt Metzger wrote for Amy, what's her name?

01:01:03.000 What's her name?

01:01:04.000 Schumer, where this guy is paid to come and whack Twinkies out of her hand at work so she doesn't get fat.

01:01:10.000 So the only mildly amusing joke, this entire green screen was stolen and it's not amusing.

01:01:16.000 She actually wrecked it.

01:01:18.000 Smashing a Twinkie into someone's hand when they're sort of stunned and then the guy disappearing, that's funny.

01:01:23.000 But verbally saying, you should tackle me so I don't have too much milk products.

01:01:29.000 Rita's in amber that she can't have a fit.

01:01:32.000 Try and reason with her.

01:01:34.000 I dare you.

01:01:35.000 If you want to be in charge, be in charge.

01:01:37.000 Manage my calorie intake.

01:01:39.000 Throw out my candy.

01:01:40.000 Good luck finding the candy I have hidden from my husband.

01:01:43.000 He can't find it.

01:01:44.000 And he knows me.

01:01:46.000 And if I have the poops, that's on you.

01:01:49.000 You should have made sure I didn't eat that food I knew damn well was too old.

01:01:53.000 Wait, wait.

01:01:55.000 That's the same as the lactose intolerant joke.

01:01:57.000 So she went lactose intolerant.

01:01:58.000 Then she said, I eat tons of candy, which I don't believe.

01:02:01.000 And then she went back to milk gives me the poops.

01:02:05.000 Like, at least get her an editor or something to go over the notes.

01:02:08.000 Are they too scared of black women to tell them when they're not funny?

01:02:11.000 In charge of one part of my body.

01:02:14.000 What kind of sense does that make?

01:02:15.000 Be in charge of my nappy head of hair.

01:02:18.000 Find my curl pattern.

01:02:20.000 You want us to monitor your whole body.

01:02:23.000 One part of your body makes living beings.

01:02:26.000 And we don't want you to kill that living being.

01:02:29.000 We gave you a window, which pro-lifers are not happy about.

01:02:32.000 It just shows you that they don't want compromise.

01:02:34.000 They're like Palestinians.

01:02:36.000 They want all of Israel.

01:02:37.000 They don't want a deal, a two-state solution.

01:02:40.000 So I want all my body, nine months I get to have an abortion.

01:02:44.000 Otherwise, fuck your six weeks is what she's saying.

01:02:46.000 And it's not the same as me falling the curls of your hair.

01:02:50.000 What kind of logic is that?

01:02:52.000 It's that kind of logic.

01:02:53.000 A living being is more important than your fro.

01:02:57.000 Way to make it all about you, by the way.

01:02:59.000 Notice that with female comedians?

01:03:01.000 It's always me, me, me, my fro, my lactose intolerance, my weight, my beauty.

01:03:08.000 Shh.

01:03:09.000 Fuck me into or out of getting dreads every six months.

01:03:13.000 I honestly don't know what to do.

01:03:15.000 Should I?

01:03:16.000 I can't.

01:03:17.000 I should.

01:03:18.000 I can't.

01:03:19.000 And find my goddamn bonnet.

01:03:22.000 All I'm saying is, if you're in charge of one region of my body, what sense does that make?

01:03:27.000 Just the uterus?

01:03:28.000 Find my goddamn bonnet?

01:03:30.000 Is that those big stupid hats?

01:03:32.000 Shower cap hats.

01:03:34.000 That's the shower cap hats?

01:03:35.000 So she loses that?

01:03:36.000 Is that my job?

01:03:37.000 This is so unbelievably terrible.

01:03:40.000 I'm bad.

01:03:41.000 I'm bad.

01:03:41.000 I'm happy.

01:03:42.000 I'm bad.

01:03:44.000 We know it.

01:03:44.000 I'm happy because I thought the show was starting off a little lackluster.

01:03:47.000 WestFest was, the Vegas talk was a little too family vacation photos, but this is good.

01:03:54.000 I've never seen writing this bad on mainstream television before.

01:03:58.000 At least take the whole bottom half.

01:04:00.000 I want a federally funded pedicure.

01:04:03.000 You can even pick the color.

01:04:04.000 I can never decide anyway.

01:04:06.000 Should it be a French pedicure?

01:04:08.000 I can't.

01:04:09.000 I should.

01:04:10.000 I can't.

01:04:11.000 So just make them so I can wear sandals without feeling sad.

01:04:16.000 Can you do that?

01:04:17.000 Of course you can't, you dumb.

01:04:20.000 So don't take charge of the biggest disorder.

01:04:28.000 Silent.

01:04:28.000 Dead silent.

01:04:29.000 And these are people that are dying to laugh.

01:04:31.000 You got to understand, too, when you go see Seth Meyers, you got a babysitter, you got the night out.

01:04:36.000 You are almost like sucking laughs out of your own face just to get him going.

01:04:40.000 Come on, come on.

01:04:41.000 Be funny.

01:04:42.000 You'll take anything.

01:04:44.000 And still, she's got nothing to give.

01:04:46.000 I'll ever make in my whole life when you can't even get me a goddamn pedicure.

01:04:51.000 This has been Amber's Minute of Fury.

01:04:56.000 So insincere.

01:04:58.000 So unfunny.

01:04:59.000 So painful.

01:05:01.000 By the way, Amber, wait, what's that?

01:05:07.000 That's the wrong thing, dummy.

01:05:08.000 That's not Amber Ruffin.

01:05:10.000 That's the final video.

01:05:14.000 But, man, you fucking threw me off, you dickweed.

01:05:18.000 She doesn't have kids.

01:05:19.000 She's 42.

01:05:20.000 She waited too long.

01:05:20.000 She was too busy indulging herself in her improv career, which has finally made it somewhere.

01:05:25.000 But she's childless.

01:05:27.000 And you'll notice a lot of these liberals who are really angry about children don't have any because they fucked up.

01:05:34.000 So congratulations on using abortion as birth control.

01:05:37.000 It's left you childless and pointless, where you're a workaholic totally devoted to your job that you suck at.

01:05:44.000 So your whole life is a total and utter waste.

01:05:48.000 Your existence is a joke and it's not funny.

01:05:52.000 So there should be another one there, Ryan.

01:05:53.000 She got hired by the CDC.

01:05:55.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:05:56.000 She got hired by the CDC to do more medical propaganda comedy, which is a new genre of comedy I don't think should exist.

01:06:07.000 And this is to deal with people who, women, sorry, well, no, we see people now, right?

01:06:11.000 It could be men with vaginas.

01:06:14.000 People who are scared to go to the gynecologist.

01:06:17.000 Is that a thing?

01:06:18.000 Are we so pampered you're scared to go to the fucking doctor?

01:06:20.000 Maybe when you're 13.

01:06:22.000 Who the fuck is scared to go to the gynecologist?

01:06:25.000 I had my urologist, I had to beat off next to my urologist when I had Peironi's disease.

01:06:31.000 You can show someone your cunt.

01:06:33.000 Make sure it's not broken.

01:06:35.000 Under the Paper Gown with Amber Ruffin and her sister.

01:06:38.000 And she did a book with her sister.

01:06:41.000 I think her sister's name's Lacey or something.

01:06:43.000 And the book's called What Happened to Lacey.

01:06:45.000 And the book is all about all the racist shit that she had to go through.

01:06:49.000 And you know, I haven't read it, but you know what it is, right?

01:06:51.000 It's like someone said the N-word when she was 11 in school or someone touched her hair and all these other stupid things that like punks go through.

01:07:00.000 Like punk rockers have the same stories as blacks in Nebraska on how horrible their lives were.

01:07:06.000 We used to get the shit beaten out of us for being punk.

01:07:09.000 And you had someone say a rude word.

01:07:10.000 Like my buddy the other day was going, no, anti-Semitism is real.

01:07:13.000 They called my kids Jew boys.

01:07:15.000 And I'm like, yeah, they call someone with a mole on their nose shit nose.

01:07:19.000 That's how people talk.

01:07:20.000 That's how kids talk.

01:07:22.000 Was there a job that you were qualified for that you couldn't get?

01:07:25.000 Because you're at a job now that you're not qualified for that you got.

01:07:28.000 So your very existence disproves this myth of racism.

01:07:33.000 You have a sympathy job.

01:07:34.000 Everyone is sitting there going, hey, I really liked your lactose intolerance bit.

01:07:40.000 So let's check her out with her sister, who she got a job.

01:07:47.000 Amber, what are you doing?

01:07:50.000 I'm trying to familiarize myself with robes.

01:07:53.000 What?

01:07:53.000 Why?

01:07:54.000 Because I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I'm never sure which way the robe is supposed to go.

01:08:00.000 Like, is it like this?

01:08:03.000 Eh?

01:08:04.000 Or is it supposed to go on like this?

01:08:07.000 Stop.

01:08:08.000 How is this the meat of a bit?

01:08:12.000 Everyone knows that your bathroom robe goes on backwards.

01:08:15.000 There's a million jokes about them being able to see your butt cheeks through the back of the robe.

01:08:20.000 I mean, how long have bathroom robes been around?

01:08:24.000 Who doesn't know this?

01:08:25.000 Is this for 11-year-olds?

01:08:27.000 Is there something I don't know?

01:08:28.000 Maybe there's a demographic cultural thing I'm not aware of.

01:08:31.000 Are blacks scared of gynecologists?

01:08:33.000 Is that a thing?

01:08:34.000 Well, as you can see, everything in this bit is very black culture, so I don't blame you for not getting it.

01:08:39.000 Yeah.

01:08:39.000 This is really.

01:08:40.000 Classic black kitchen with the, what are those hexagons?

01:08:43.000 One, two, three, four, five, six.

01:08:45.000 Hexagon shelving things with chia seeds.

01:08:49.000 You know how it is with black kitchens.

01:08:51.000 They love apples.

01:08:52.000 There's always a big bowl of apples at a black woman's house.

01:08:56.000 It feels like you're overthinking.

01:08:58.000 It feels like you're underhelping.

01:09:00.000 You know what?

01:09:01.000 I'm just not going to go.

01:09:02.000 Okay, what is this really about?

01:09:05.000 I don't want to go to the gynecologist.

01:09:08.000 It's always so awkward.

01:09:09.000 It's not that bad.

01:09:11.000 Yes, it is.

01:09:12.000 The doctor's hands are always icicles.

01:09:14.000 They always ask, when was your last period?

01:09:16.000 And I'm like, I don't know, March 37th?

01:09:18.000 That's not a date.

01:09:20.000 Exactly.

01:09:21.000 And then they always say that one phrase over and over again, scoot down a little more.

01:09:25.000 Scoot down a little more.

01:09:26.000 Scoot down a little more.

01:09:27.000 Could you scoot down a little more?

01:09:29.000 Look, going to the gynecologist isn't...

01:09:32.000 Has there been a semblance of a joke?

01:09:35.000 I mean, I guess when she put on the robe and she went, huh?

01:09:39.000 And then put it on the other way and went, huh?

01:09:41.000 That's kind of a joke.

01:09:42.000 And then the other things are noticing patterns at the gynecologist.

01:09:47.000 Yeah, their hands are probably too cold.

01:09:49.000 Especially on a pussy.

01:09:51.000 I mean, what's your body temperature supposed to be, like 90 degrees?

01:09:54.000 Oh, wait, hands are also a part of the body.

01:09:57.000 But I guess when he watched them, they got a little cooler.

01:09:59.000 Anyway, sorry, what the fuck?

01:10:00.000 Her sister is even shittier than her.

01:10:03.000 Isn't anyone's idea of a stress-free afternoon?

01:10:06.000 But you have to go at some point, right?

01:10:08.000 Might as well be tomorrow.

01:10:10.000 Well, what if I say something weird and then the doctor judges me?

01:10:14.000 What could you possibly say that the doctor hasn't heard before?

01:10:17.000 I was going to ask why my vagina changes color with my mood.

01:10:20.000 That's oddly specific.

01:10:22.000 My point is, she's your gynecologist.

01:10:24.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:10:26.000 That's oddly specific.

01:10:28.000 It's not oddly specific.

01:10:29.000 It's odd.

01:10:30.000 And your vagina doesn't change color with your mood.

01:10:33.000 And look at her face after that.

01:10:34.000 She goes...

01:10:37.000 She's getting by on her charm.

01:10:39.000 Yeah, what charm?

01:10:41.000 Dude, that's oddly specific.

01:10:44.000 My point is, she's your gynecologist.

01:10:46.000 It's her whole job not to judge you.

01:10:49.000 Okay.

01:10:49.000 Just for kids.

01:10:50.000 I'll go.

01:10:51.000 Now will you help untangle me?

01:10:54.000 No.

01:10:57.000 Wait, what?

01:10:58.000 How is she tangled?

01:11:00.000 She's wearing a robe.

01:11:01.000 Wait, at the beginning of the thing, she was putting it on forwards and backwards like it ain't no thing.

01:11:05.000 And now she's like, help untangle me?

01:11:07.000 And she has her phone ready to go for the picture of...

01:11:10.000 How tangled up is she?

01:11:12.000 How is that tangled?

01:11:14.000 Look.

01:11:17.000 The level of incompetence is shocking.

01:11:20.000 Jesus.

01:11:32.000 gotta stop taking the Lord's name in vain.

01:11:34.000 I'm sorry, fellow Catholics.

01:11:35.000 That's rude.

01:11:37.000 It's just such a great bad word.

01:11:40.000 Uh wow, she sucks.

01:11:42.000 Yes.

01:11:44.000 Really, really bad.

01:11:46.000 I feel like she's copying somebody, like that cutesiness that, like, I don't know.

01:11:50.000 Maybe Michelle Wolf.

01:11:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:52.000 Little Sarah Silverman, little Michelle Wolf with the cutesiness.

01:11:57.000 I kind of want to rewrite her bits.

01:12:00.000 Like, okay, you want to control my body?

01:12:02.000 So do I. Why do I lust Liam Neeson?

01:12:06.000 I don't know.

01:12:08.000 The problem with jokes about abortion is you're talking about a dead baby.

01:12:12.000 So no matter where you are on the subject, it's not really comedy time.

01:12:18.000 It's not really your body either.

01:12:20.000 There's another body in you with different DNA that's not yours.

01:12:24.000 Yeah.

01:12:26.000 I mean, the two points they use is that, you know, you're making me have a baby and that's some sort of rape and I'm going to just do it anyway and I'll die.

01:12:33.000 And then the other one is these kids grow up sad and lonely and it's kind of got anti-black overtones.

01:12:39.000 You'll notice a lot of bona fide racists are pro-abortion because they know that tens of thousands of black abortions are everywhere.

01:12:46.000 You know who's like that?

01:12:47.000 Howard Stern.

01:12:49.000 He's always, he says that, and you can hear Robin getting slightly uncomfortable, but he'll say, yeah, do we really want some poor kid going to end up as a crackhead living on the streets just because the mother didn't have reproductive rights?

01:13:03.000 Oh, so blacks?

01:13:05.000 You know, a massive number of abortions are married women who already have a kid and then don't feel like they're ready for another kid.

01:13:13.000 In other words, kids that would have been just fine.

01:13:16.000 Amber Tamblin had an abortion as she was engaged to David Cross and then had a baby like, I don't know, a year later.

01:13:25.000 So she murdered a baby because he was a little early.

01:13:30.000 That's a massive number of abortions is women just finding it inconvenient.

01:13:36.000 Not, I live on the streets and I don't want to make another crackhead.

01:13:42.000 But yeah, I can't think of a way you could possibly do a good abortion bit.

01:13:47.000 And I can't think of a possible way Amber Ruffin could do anything remotely funny.

01:13:52.000 Why does she have a career?

01:13:54.000 Because she's black.

01:13:56.000 Am I right or am I right?

01:13:58.000 You're right.

01:13:59.000 And also, isn't she kind of admitting that that's good if she were to not eat ice cream and fuck herself up and have the poops and stuff?

01:14:08.000 Well, it's got a weird pro-communist thing.

01:14:10.000 Right.

01:14:10.000 Where if the state controlled every part of my body, I'd be happier.

01:14:13.000 That'd be great.

01:14:14.000 There, that's your angle.

01:14:17.000 I thought you guys were capitalists.

01:14:19.000 But the problem is, too, that there's a lot of black people involved.

01:14:23.000 They always ignore demographics for this.

01:14:26.000 So with the gynecologist thing, maybe I'm naive.

01:14:29.000 I don't know any woman that's ever been remotely...

01:14:31.000 I mean, they don't love it.

01:14:32.000 They talk about the clamps being cold.

01:14:34.000 But have you ever met a woman who's like, oh, I ain't going to no gynecologist?

01:14:38.000 They're voodoo doctors.

01:14:39.000 Have you ever heard of that?

01:14:40.000 No.

01:14:41.000 Maybe it's a black thing.

01:14:42.000 I've always asked too, I'm like, isn't that weird?

01:14:44.000 You got to like just show your box?

01:14:46.000 And they're like, no.

01:14:48.000 Whether it's a man, like an old Chinese guy or a woman or whatever.

01:14:53.000 I would want a woman if I was a woman.

01:14:55.000 Yeah, true.

01:14:55.000 I don't like dudes finger up my twat.

01:14:58.000 Get your hands off my twat.

01:15:00.000 Yeah.

01:15:01.000 I feel like we're being too sexist, though, and I want some to clear the palate with some good female comedy.

01:15:10.000 What have you got?

01:15:11.000 Remember that girl you said that all the real asshole dudes are saying, ah, she's not bad.

01:15:17.000 Yeah.

01:15:19.000 I think it's like, I want to say Pepper Pots or something.

01:15:22.000 I found it the other day.

01:15:23.000 I also want to look up...

01:15:24.000 Remember Kale Hartman?

01:15:26.000 Yeah, of course.

01:15:27.000 So he was framed.

01:15:30.000 He was Me Too'd into oblivion.

01:15:32.000 No hope of ever having a career.

01:15:33.000 No hope of getting a date.

01:15:34.000 Because when you Google him, the first thing you see is rapist, rapist, rapist.

01:15:40.000 And I believe a big part of her doing that was to get attention for herself.

01:15:43.000 She had a comedy album going out, coming out.

01:15:45.000 And as Pat Dixon showed, and I could hear him when he said this, unlike today's show, it was like interest in her was like this.

01:15:53.000 And then with the Me Too thing, it went through the roof right as her comedy CD came out.

01:15:58.000 But I don't think she has any talent, exactly like Amber Ruffin.

01:16:02.000 So it'd be interesting to see where she is today.

01:16:05.000 So that's two live research things we have to do on the show now.

01:16:08.000 Her name was, I think, Beth Stelling.

01:16:11.000 Yes, I think it was Beth Stelling.

01:16:12.000 This is Rosebud Baker.

01:16:14.000 So this is the new chick who's good?

01:16:15.000 Yes.

01:16:16.000 Everybody's saying, all the good comedians are saying she's actually good.

01:16:19.000 All right, let's cleanse our palate with some female talent, folks.

01:16:25.000 I like their outfit.

01:16:26.000 It's weird.

01:16:28.000 Oh, my goodness.

01:16:35.000 Oh, my God, my nipples got hard.

01:16:36.000 Wow.

01:16:39.000 I'm really hoping I can keep my fucking thoughts together.

01:16:42.000 I started intermittent fasting this week.

01:16:46.000 I like to call it white Ramadan.

01:16:49.000 That's what I like to call it.

01:16:52.000 I'm going to say one thing about COVID, and then that's it.

01:16:55.000 All right?

01:16:56.000 Because I've been in New York for a year.

01:16:59.000 And in New York, we would get on our rooftop every night at 7 p.m. at the beginning of the pandemic, and we would clap for the healthcare heroes.

01:17:09.000 That's what we would do.

01:17:10.000 Okay?

01:17:10.000 Just jump up on our fucking fire escapes and this will fix it, you know?

01:17:17.000 It was a nice thing.

01:17:18.000 It was for a month.

01:17:21.000 And then another month went by.

01:17:23.000 And then another month went by.

01:17:24.000 And then everybody was dead.

01:17:26.000 And we were still clapping.

01:17:32.000 I was like, this is starting to feel like we're cheering for the losing team, folks.

01:17:38.000 Don't get me wrong, I think it's a very sweet gesture if you don't have COVID.

01:17:45.000 But if I had COVID and I'm sitting in a hospital bed surrounded by people who can't cure me and every night I'm listening to them get a fucking applause break, I'd start to take it a little personally.

01:18:00.000 See?

01:18:01.000 Great comedy.

01:18:02.000 New angle.

01:18:03.000 That's what good art is.

01:18:04.000 It takes something that's right in front of you, it puts it in a different lens, and it gives you a fun, new take on it.

01:18:09.000 Schwink.

01:18:10.000 Schlink.

01:18:11.000 And it's like, she's got a nice point of view, and it's not like a character, but it's a person who's got a point of view, right?

01:18:18.000 Established right off the bat.

01:18:20.000 You know, a lot of it, too, is sincerity.

01:18:22.000 You can tell she's being herself.

01:18:24.000 And Amber Ruffin is so nervous and talentless and not in the right world.

01:18:31.000 Most women would be happier at home.

01:18:33.000 This is a clear example of a woman who should have bred with that Dutch nerd and made some kids.

01:18:40.000 And instead, she chose to stay up with Seth Meyers all night writing jokes about milk giving her diarrhea.

01:18:48.000 So that's the chick that ruined Kale Hartman's life.

01:18:51.000 Is that a new special?

01:18:52.000 This is from a month ago.

01:18:53.000 Oh, shit.

01:18:54.000 So she's on Comedy Central.

01:18:56.000 It's her divorce.

01:18:57.000 Did I say that?

01:18:57.000 Or is that obvious?

01:18:58.000 Oh, she's doing the character thing.

01:19:00.000 At Christmastime, my mother gave me the ring that my dad gave her.

01:19:06.000 And I was just like, this is haunted.

01:19:12.000 Now, my mother did remarry.

01:19:15.000 She accidentally married the local church organist.

01:19:19.000 And they got married on my ninth birthday.

01:19:25.000 Not a gift.

01:19:27.000 And I did not smile in a single wedding photo, which I feel great about to this day.

01:19:36.000 Still feel really good about it.

01:19:38.000 And my mother is gorgeous.

01:19:40.000 I mean.

01:19:42.000 And he was extraordinarily ugly.

01:19:47.000 I don't know what you have to do to earn your chin in the womb, but he didn't do it.

01:19:54.000 Your chin in the wind?

01:19:55.000 Chin in the womb.

01:19:56.000 I don't get it.

01:19:57.000 And he had this face.

01:19:58.000 Oh, I see when you're a baby.

01:19:59.000 Cover up his ugly face.

01:20:01.000 And we had one bathroom for all of us, all of us, me and my mom, my sisters, and him.

01:20:09.000 And he would clip his beard over the sink, and it would inevitably, the beard bristles would get into our toothbrushes.

01:20:16.000 Right?

01:20:16.000 We hate him.

01:20:17.000 Everybody hates him.

01:20:22.000 Can you imagine a black guys can get away with this?

01:20:24.000 Can you imagine a white male talking about how ugly his stepmother is and how gross she was?

01:20:29.000 Would not happen.

01:20:30.000 People would be uncomfortable.

01:20:32.000 She looks comfortable.

01:20:32.000 I'm not laughing, though.

01:20:34.000 Yeah.

01:20:35.000 This broad's funny because she's just like a New York chip.

01:20:38.000 This is like a little clip.

01:20:40.000 And she's talking about her husband.

01:20:42.000 My husband's like anal neat.

01:20:43.000 Like he really runs a tight ship around the house.

01:20:46.000 And I'll wake up and I know I'm in trouble, but I don't really know like what for yet.

01:20:50.000 Oh, wow.

01:20:50.000 That sounds like a little role reversal here.

01:20:52.000 Yes.

01:20:53.000 Like night two of the pandemic, I walk into the kitchen.

01:20:56.000 He goes, why are there three open seltzers?

01:21:00.000 Like he's backed up.

01:21:02.000 Yeah, he's talking about why there are three open seltzers.

01:21:05.000 And I'm like, isn't the bigger mystery who could give a fuck why there are three open seltzers?

01:21:10.000 Like, what happened?

01:21:11.000 They're like 49 cents each, dude.

01:21:12.000 It's okay.

01:21:13.000 Who gives a ship?

01:21:14.000 He'll walk me around and like show me my message.

01:21:16.000 I'll be like, what happened here?

01:21:17.000 Just talk to me about this.

01:21:19.000 It's just weird.

01:21:20.000 Three open seltzers.

01:21:21.000 I love him.

01:21:21.000 There's never going to be a good story behind that.

01:21:23.000 It's not like.

01:21:24.000 Because you're lazy and you don't find your other stuff.

01:21:26.000 My wife does that too.

01:21:27.000 The house is littered with LaCroix.

01:21:30.000 And they're all like one sip.

01:21:32.000 That's terrible.

01:21:33.000 So I'm just going bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bubbly, watching my own money go down the drain.

01:21:38.000 And she has, she's married, she's got a baby, she's got her shit and checked this room.

01:21:41.000 She looks familiar.

01:21:42.000 Rachel Feinstein, wait, I know her.

01:21:46.000 She was wrapped up in some controversy.

01:21:48.000 I think Amy might have stolen one of her jokes, or she claimed that she did.

01:21:52.000 Remember that?

01:21:52.000 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 She was one of the three girls that were left.

01:21:55.000 Yeah.

01:21:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:57.000 I think I had her on my show.

01:21:59.000 Maybe you did.

01:22:00.000 Actually.

01:22:01.000 I remember that.

01:22:01.000 She was one of the chicks that got robbed.

01:22:03.000 There was the one girl who wanted to talk about it a lot that I had on a bunch of times.

01:22:08.000 We got along great.

01:22:09.000 And then that woman was more reluctant to talk about it more than once.

01:22:12.000 You know, we missed that on a really big cultural event while we were in Westfest.

01:22:18.000 It's called Virgin Fest.

01:22:19.000 Have you heard of this?

01:22:20.000 Yes.

01:22:21.000 It's like Zoomers who are angry and red-pilled.

01:22:24.000 They're in cells, and I think they're proud of it.

01:22:26.000 But they're very...

01:22:27.000 So your crew?

01:22:29.000 No.

01:22:29.000 Your pals.

01:22:30.000 My guys fuck.

01:22:31.000 Maybe not.

01:22:32.000 Really?

01:22:32.000 How do you do that?

01:22:32.000 Why is Dan does fuck?

01:22:34.000 What does he fuck?

01:22:35.000 A love doll?

01:22:37.000 It doesn't matter.

01:22:38.000 Love is love.

01:22:39.000 You know what I remembered about one of the West Fests?

01:22:43.000 It was at a brothel.

01:22:45.000 And there was no prostitutes there at that time.

01:22:47.000 And it was just his mom, the guy's mom, he's a proud boy.

01:22:50.000 His mom owned it, the brothel.

01:22:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:52.000 So there's a boxing ring out back.

01:22:55.000 And we were fighting, which I don't, almost every West Fest has involved a boxing ring.

01:22:59.000 Boxing, when you've been drinking all day, it's knockout juice.

01:23:04.000 I mean, how many videos have you seen where some drunk guy's like, I don't need you?

01:23:08.000 And someone just goes, boop, and he's out like a light.

01:23:11.000 Yeah.

01:23:12.000 I don't get it.

01:23:13.000 I never do it.

01:23:16.000 They give them a transgender fight first round punch.

01:23:20.000 Well, there was a the Prowboys saw the schedule on the wall.

01:23:25.000 It was Tranny Tuesdays.

01:23:26.000 Wow.

01:23:27.000 It was a thing.

01:23:28.000 It was actually a brothels are illegal, I think, in that area.

01:23:31.000 So it's a swingers club.

01:23:33.000 And then they got busted years later for being a sex doll brothel.

01:23:39.000 Weird.

01:23:42.000 And they argued, no, no, no, no.

01:23:46.000 It's just a try before you buy thing.

01:23:50.000 So we're just, there's samples here.

01:23:52.000 We sell them.

01:23:52.000 It's legal to sell them.

01:23:54.000 I don't think sex doll brothels should be illegal.

01:23:57.000 I don't want one in my neighborhood.

01:24:00.000 I want to know somebody who closed to one.

01:24:02.000 Like the concept, but you're not hurting anyone.

01:24:05.000 We got these pics of these tattoos.

01:24:08.000 Did you want to show those?

01:24:09.000 Sure.

01:24:11.000 That's a good one.

01:24:12.000 Good.

01:24:13.000 Nice pipes.

01:24:14.000 Yeah, that's a good pipe.

01:24:16.000 That guy's 69, and I was always making 69 jokes.

01:24:20.000 Dude, I told you to cover their fucking faces.

01:24:22.000 I said, especially the black one.

01:24:24.000 I can cover them in post.

01:24:26.000 But also, how many black guys in a wheelchair?

01:24:29.000 Are they out there, really?

01:24:31.000 It's hard to not be noticed as that guy.

01:24:34.000 Proud Boy Space Force chapter.

01:24:37.000 Let's get high.

01:24:38.000 Wow, I want that shirt.

01:24:41.000 Oh, a lot of coke.

01:24:43.000 It's a pool table that's no one's playing pool on.

01:24:48.000 I think they they must have sanded onto the the cue ball.

01:24:51.000 How did you forget to cover the black guy's face when I was so specific?

01:24:54.000 I did, but when I added all the pictures in preview, and then um and then uh so that one there's the edited one and the original in there.

01:25:07.000 And what?

01:25:07.000 That one's edited though.

01:25:09.000 But your explanation's pathetic.

01:25:11.000 So you blacked out all their eyes and then you pulled up the wrong things and put them in preview.

01:25:17.000 Yeah, I put them all in there instead of the select ones.

01:25:20.000 This one I actually deleted the original, but the other one I suppose I did not do that.

01:25:25.000 You suppose?

01:25:26.000 Yeah, that's possible.

01:25:28.000 Yeah, the other one's not here.

01:25:30.000 And that's the best tattoo so far.

01:25:33.000 This one's okay.

01:25:35.000 What one's okay?

01:25:38.000 Could you suck anymore?

01:25:40.000 That one's just good because the pipe is so good.

01:25:43.000 Oh, it's about the pipe.

01:25:44.000 Yeah.

01:25:45.000 The guys you brought didn't have pipes.

01:25:48.000 Tony's got a little bit of a pipe.

01:25:49.000 Who does?

01:25:50.000 Tony.

01:25:51.000 I'm a little bit of a.

01:25:52.000 I'm a pipe.

01:25:53.000 I'm the pipe guy out of us.

01:25:54.000 I was getting some compliments with a shame.

01:25:56.000 Maybe that's why you like hanging out with those guys because you're like the tough dude in the crew.

01:26:00.000 We're musicians.

01:26:01.000 That's my music group.

01:26:02.000 Musicians are all kind of.

01:26:04.000 Well, don't invite your nerdy music group to a Proud Boys convention again.

01:26:08.000 They were just going to Vegas.

01:26:09.000 There was a compound media.

01:26:10.000 No, they were following us around like weird anteaters, making terrible jokes, showing up when we're having breakfast, showing up everywhere until I had to scream at them and tell them to fuck off.

01:26:19.000 They invited us to breakfast, and we had some great pizza.

01:26:23.000 No, you lied to me and said, hey, there's a great pizza place.

01:26:26.000 And I go, my phone says it's closed.

01:26:28.000 Let's just go to Denny's.

01:26:29.000 And you go, but they kicked us out.

01:26:32.000 That's not right to give them their money.

01:26:33.000 But you didn't mean that.

01:26:34.000 You were doing what you always do, which is lying.

01:26:36.000 And you had friends planning to go to the other place.

01:26:39.000 So you're pretending that you had a different reason to not want to go to Denny's.

01:26:42.000 I wanted to go to Pizza Rock.

01:26:44.000 But I didn't know about Pizza Rock.

01:26:46.000 You tried to bullshit me and I caught you.

01:26:47.000 But it was good pizza and good company.

01:26:50.000 That's not the point.

01:26:51.000 That's not the fucking point.

01:26:53.000 This is like I put my card in the machine to get our tickets on the way there.

01:26:57.000 And then I'm showing the guy my boarding pass.

01:27:01.000 And I realize, holy shit, my credit card's gone.

01:27:02.000 I must have left the machine.

01:27:03.000 And Ryan's like, no problem.

01:27:04.000 I got this.

01:27:05.000 So he goes, I'll put our luggage here and I'll run.

01:27:07.000 I'm really fast.

01:27:08.000 I am fast.

01:27:09.000 He literally said that.

01:27:11.000 I'm really, I bet I could outrun you.

01:27:13.000 Hell no.

01:27:14.000 You couldn't guarantee.

01:27:16.000 I could definitely outrun you.

01:27:17.000 We're going to have a race.

01:27:19.000 And so he runs there in his gay little run.

01:27:22.000 Awesome run.

01:27:23.000 And then he calls me, goes, it's gone.

01:27:26.000 Sorry, boss.

01:27:27.000 I go, it's like a minute ago.

01:27:29.000 How could it be gone?

01:27:30.000 I'm talking to people here.

01:27:31.000 They haven't seen it.

01:27:33.000 So I go, oh, Jesus.

01:27:35.000 So I just grab his stupid backpack, which weighs hundreds of pounds.

01:27:38.000 I don't know what you brought, lead?

01:27:41.000 For a strong man, it doesn't weigh much.

01:27:43.000 And I have my normal bag of a normal amount of clothes.

01:27:45.000 We're there for three days.

01:27:47.000 So I get there, and then one of the guys who works there, he reaches into the machine and he pulls it out.

01:27:52.000 And I go, oh, yeah, that's what I figured.

01:27:54.000 And Ryan goes, I didn't know it goes in that deep.

01:27:58.000 That's correct.

01:27:59.000 It literally looked invisible.

01:28:01.000 It was invisible.

01:28:03.000 It was invisible.

01:28:04.000 Yes.

01:28:06.000 Have you ever put your card into a machine where you get your boarding pass?

01:28:09.000 And every time I've done it, I've taken it back out and I put it back in my wallet.

01:28:13.000 Yeah, that's not what we're talking about.

01:28:14.000 So checking the machine, I didn't check it.

01:28:15.000 That was a mistake, much like leaving a card inside of a machine was a mistake.

01:28:19.000 That's how Ryan's brain works.

01:28:20.000 You notice, this is why he's so dumb.

01:28:22.000 He has a force field.

01:28:23.000 So every time there's like, I caught you lying about this, you fucked up on that, he's like, well, people fuck up too, and there's other things, and life is life, and nothing gets in.

01:28:30.000 About the pizza, I told you that Tony told me about the pizza.

01:28:33.000 And I was like, no, that was way after.

01:28:35.000 That was when we were there on the street, up in the hotel room.

01:28:38.000 You're like, oh, Denny's, well, they kicked out that proud boy, so we shouldn't give them money.

01:28:42.000 They did.

01:28:42.000 And I said, Tony told me about this pizza place with big slices.

01:28:46.000 Because I didn't know about the big slices.

01:28:48.000 Yes, you pretended, though, that it was just us going there.

01:28:52.000 And we're just going to check out this big slice place.

01:28:54.000 And then when I get there, all these losers start pouring in.

01:28:57.000 That you had a great time with.

01:29:00.000 Because I had fucking four drinks.

01:29:02.000 I didn't know that.

01:29:03.000 You didn't know that.

01:29:04.000 Did you not see my hand holding a glass?

01:29:07.000 Look at your drink hand.

01:29:09.000 That's invasive.

01:29:10.000 I'm trying to give you your privacy.

01:29:12.000 So anyway, this is a guy named School Shooter.

01:29:14.000 He had to change his name.

01:29:16.000 But I guess he was the main event of this whole thing.

01:29:19.000 The cops went there and they thought that they were going to break up the joint.

01:29:23.000 And they didn't.

01:29:24.000 They hung in there and they chilled with them.

01:29:25.000 But they were playing acoustic guitar in the woods because Antifa doxed and convinced the tattoo shop the show was supposed to happen to not host them.

01:29:37.000 So it was a whole thing.

01:29:38.000 But this was a pretty big cultural little event because you got all these Zoomer kids that are definitely red-pilled.

01:29:44.000 They're pretty racist and pretty cool.

01:29:46.000 Pretty racist and pretty cool?

01:29:48.000 Yeah, they're a little too far for my taste politically, but I think they're great.

01:29:54.000 Pretty racist and pretty cool.

01:29:56.000 Is that what we should call this episode?

01:29:58.000 Yeah.

01:29:59.000 Why are you promoting a racist group?

01:30:01.000 They're not racist.

01:30:02.000 They're just edgy.

01:30:03.000 I'm sorry, I thought they were racist when you said they're pretty racist.

01:30:05.000 Well, they're not racist by my metrics, but the world would probably consider them racist.

01:30:11.000 They do a little bit of statistic stuff.

01:30:15.000 It's just pretty much stuff that Zoomer.

01:30:18.000 What is it?

01:30:18.000 The Groipers.

01:30:19.000 It's like Groiper level, but they're musicians and they're inside.

01:30:24.000 Do you have any footage of their fun gathering?

01:30:26.000 Yeah.

01:30:26.000 So there's a couple, like Egg White is a rapper there.

01:30:31.000 And then there's that school shooter guy, Negative XP, Virgin Fest.

01:30:38.000 And I think you'd think it was pretty cool.

01:30:40.000 It's like kind of punk.

01:30:41.000 And they are hated by Antifa.

01:30:45.000 Isn't it funny how Antifa is all about anarchy?

01:30:47.000 Yet they don't let people have things.

01:30:50.000 Like, we don't go to their things, they go to our things, and they go to everyone else's things.

01:30:53.000 They go to everyone else's things, yeah.

01:30:55.000 And then Vice was there reporting, and they were making fun of Vice.

01:30:58.000 They're like, oh, that's really cool that Vice is here.

01:31:00.000 Fags.

01:31:01.000 They're making fun of Vice for being there.

01:31:06.000 So there's that.

01:31:06.000 And then early on, there was some of this shit.

01:31:13.000 And I don't know how different it would have been at the tattoo place, but this is what they did to make do.

01:31:20.000 I don't know if they were going to be plugged in or what.

01:31:23.000 They were just, I don't know if they had alcohol there.

01:31:26.000 They were not allowed to have alcohol in a public park, maybe.

01:31:29.000 So I think it was.

01:31:29.000 Is it Virgin Fest because they're like saving themselves for marriage?

01:31:33.000 It's just like a tongue-in-cheek incel thing.

01:31:35.000 Like a lot of them are not virgins, you know, but my buddy went to this, my buddy Neat Dreams.

01:31:42.000 And it looked fucking cool.

01:31:44.000 And this was happening as well as the VMAs, another cultural thing in music while we were at Westfest, but that apparently sucked.

01:31:54.000 I didn't mention the VMAs because it's totally irrelevant.

01:31:57.000 But this is the real musical event.

01:32:00.000 And where'd this go down?

01:32:01.000 Georgia.

01:32:02.000 Not too far from the Georgia Guidestones.

01:32:05.000 Maybe that was intentional.

01:32:08.000 But it's a very DIY, weirdo, right-winger get-together.

01:32:15.000 Hmm.

01:32:16.000 They got a guy with Joker makeup, of course, right there.

01:32:20.000 Okay, that's you earning your keep.

01:32:22.000 You got to tell us what the youngsters are up to.

01:32:25.000 Let's jump over to the mail B. Let me touch it.

01:32:42.000 Let me touch it.

01:32:45.000 Boopity.

01:32:50.000 3.20 p.m.

01:32:51.000 Oh, we already got new ones.

01:32:56.000 G-Dog and Asian nerd.

01:32:58.000 This might be screwing you up, Ryan, because my computer takes a while to load.

01:33:03.000 Ask Cali viewers to get off their ass and vote yes on recall and check Larry Elder for governor.

01:33:08.000 This state is fucked, but it would be nice to have one year of sanity before the next governor election.

01:33:14.000 My bar JDs in San Clemente will have a $1 beer night if the recall goes through.

01:33:20.000 Cheers.

01:33:20.000 Justin from Shithole, California.

01:33:34.000 Hey, Gavin, I about died laughing on this video.

01:33:36.000 Is it just me?

01:33:37.000 Or is she a little more than just dumb?

01:33:40.000 And then he's got the video there.

01:33:44.000 I'm not like them, but I can pretend.

01:33:48.000 The sun is on, but I have light.

01:33:53.000 Nothing is done.

01:33:55.000 But I'm having fun.

01:33:57.000 And I think I'm dumb.

01:33:59.000 Maybe just happy.

01:34:03.000 I think I'm just happy.

01:34:07.000 I think I'm just happy.

01:34:12.000 I think I'm just happy.

01:34:15.000 Wow.

01:34:18.000 And I think my dumbass.

01:34:19.000 Do her supporters like that laugh?

01:34:21.000 Are they not annoyed by that?

01:34:26.000 Sometimes I think they vote them in and they don't keep up with them at all.

01:34:30.000 Yeah.

01:34:30.000 Well, that's like our ADT guy who was like, I haven't watched.

01:34:33.000 No, no, our carpenter dude.

01:34:36.000 He's like, as soon as I got rid of Trump, I stopped watching the news because I was so happy we got rid of him.

01:34:42.000 Gav, running about the California recall, I got curious about the recent swing in the quote-unquote polls and took a glance at the underlying data.

01:34:48.000 Check this out.

01:34:50.000 In one month, women's votes swing 17 points in favor of Newsom, a politician whose party has had one of the most politically disastrous months in memory.

01:35:02.000 While over the same period, men's votes are effectively unchanged within the margin of error.

01:35:07.000 Is there any explanation for this beyond inherent and disproportionate susceptibility to manipulation by propaganda?

01:35:15.000 So the first thing is the recall election poll, August 4th.

01:35:19.000 The second one is the recall election poll, September 9th.

01:35:24.000 Very, very interesting.

01:35:25.000 Yeah, women are agreeable.

01:35:28.000 End of story.

01:35:31.000 So they are more susceptible to political manipulation.

01:35:35.000 Very difficult manipulation.

01:35:40.000 Gravel and Ryson, I was listening to an old podcast of GOML, and it was called A Segregation Racist.

01:35:45.000 In this, you talk about Corey Booker and Kamal Harris being black in skin, but not in personality, and you would have some questions for them.

01:35:51.000 Can you guys make a black quiz for people like them?

01:35:54.000 Yes.

01:35:55.000 That's a great idea.

01:35:58.000 Let's talk to our most ghetto black friends.

01:36:01.000 I'll ask at the gym.

01:36:02.000 Although they don't really get concepts like that.

01:36:05.000 Like, I'm doing a thing to quiz people about black people.

01:36:09.000 What do you guys, what is special about you?

01:36:13.000 But that's how I got that one I use about how you get chicken in the bodega that has salt, pepper, and ketchup.

01:36:18.000 Do you know any?

01:36:20.000 Black things?

01:36:22.000 Nah.

01:36:23.000 Besides, like, my first black girlfriend, my first girlfriend, black collard greens.

01:36:28.000 But everybody knows that.

01:36:29.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:29.000 I did this years ago.

01:36:31.000 They think Discovery Channel is like going to school.

01:36:35.000 It's really, why would you watch that?

01:36:37.000 Like, why would you, it's like doing taxes.

01:36:39.000 No one watches Discovery Channel.

01:36:40.000 It's like reading a textbook.

01:36:41.000 Getting ready is six or seven hours.

01:36:44.000 They also said with the women, it's really hard to get them.

01:36:49.000 They're like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

01:36:50.000 And then when you finally get them, they'll get a tattoo of your name on their neck.

01:36:53.000 Yeah.

01:36:53.000 They're down for life.

01:36:56.000 But I like, it has to be ones like the chicken ones.

01:37:00.000 What about this?

01:37:00.000 When their hair itches, their weave itches, they slap it.

01:37:03.000 They slap their head to itch it.

01:37:07.000 Maybe some products?

01:37:08.000 Like, what's Razak?

01:37:10.000 That's, yeah.

01:37:11.000 Things that only black women and you use.

01:37:14.000 I get people sending me the sprinkles, speaking of funny, on an hourly basis.

01:37:20.000 And they always say the same thing.

01:37:21.000 They say, if you don't think that this guy has the sprinkles, then I want to fight you.

01:37:26.000 Because they're so sure.

01:37:27.000 And the guy's always mildly funny.

01:37:28.000 But I haven't seen this yet.

01:37:29.000 Let's check it out.

01:37:32.000 What are you building?

01:37:34.000 I'm building a barrier around my yard.

01:37:37.000 Oh, like a wall?

01:37:39.000 No offense.

01:37:48.000 Is this gonna get good?

01:37:49.000 No offense, what?

01:37:52.000 No, I'm gonna use a fence.

01:37:55.000 But you just said you didn't mean a fence.

01:37:58.000 When?

01:38:00.000 I don't know, you never finished.

01:38:02.000 I haven't even started.

01:38:05.000 Wait, what?

01:38:06.000 I haven't started my project?

01:38:09.000 I'm building a fence?

01:38:11.000 With me?

01:38:12.000 No, I'm just confused.

01:38:14.000 About what?

01:38:16.000 You're a fence.

01:38:18.000 No, I'm not.

01:38:19.000 I'm building one.

01:38:26.000 Had potential.

01:38:29.000 What are you building?

01:38:30.000 Pretty good.

01:38:31.000 Yeah.

01:38:32.000 His dead face.

01:38:33.000 Yeah.

01:38:33.000 The ending sucked.

01:38:35.000 Let's see this guy.

01:38:36.000 Same guy, I think?

01:38:38.000 Yeah, just pull up right over there.

01:38:41.000 Hey, there's a ship in the way.

01:38:43.000 Ring, ring.

01:38:45.000 Ring, ring.

01:38:47.000 Hello?

01:38:49.000 Hey.

01:38:49.000 Is this Russia?

01:38:52.000 Yeah.

01:38:54.000 Oh, this is America.

01:38:56.000 Is that your ship?

01:38:59.000 Yeah.

01:39:00.000 Well, can you move it?

01:39:03.000 I don't want those freaking missiles in Cuba.

01:39:06.000 Alright, enough.

01:39:08.000 What?

01:39:08.000 Annoying.

01:39:11.000 Pooey Wigger in St. Louis.

01:39:12.000 Hello, suckers.

01:39:13.000 My wife watched the mailbag episode where you stated why you thought St. Louis is full of wiggers.

01:39:17.000 She said that you are correct and that I am wrong.

01:39:20.000 She said that I hang out in the suburbs too much and I have cognitive bias.

01:39:24.000 She said that whenever she goes to events downtown, that she also sees way too many wiggers.

01:39:29.000 He spells this W-H-I-G-G-E-R-S.

01:39:32.000 I don't think there's an H. I am now ashamed of myself and the face that my city puts on.

01:39:38.000 PS such thing as a cool wigger, maybe Diant word.

01:39:40.000 Or are they just freaks that don't give a shit?

01:39:42.000 They're freaks that don't give a shit.

01:39:44.000 Yeah, I'm always right, guys.

01:39:46.000 I remember someone, these millennials and the Zoomers are so arrogant when they think they're right.

01:39:50.000 Like I said the other day that we used to think that you needed light for life.

01:39:55.000 And then we realized, no, you can, we found organisms living in rocks and we realized you don't.

01:39:59.000 And then this guy goes, what a fucking stupid take.

01:40:02.000 What is he talking about?

01:40:03.000 The Middle Ages?

01:40:04.000 We've known you don't need light for life forever.

01:40:08.000 No, it was around 1977 that we discovered these life forms that don't need light.

01:40:13.000 So pretty recent.

01:40:15.000 Pretty recent.

01:40:17.000 Remember, I steal all my info from smart guys.

01:40:21.000 Hello, Mr. McInnes.

01:40:22.000 I'm 17 and want to be a journalist after my father refused to sign my enlistment papers after Afghanistan.

01:40:27.000 Wrote a response to Robert Reich and was curious on your input.

01:40:33.000 Hello, Mr. McInnes.

01:40:34.000 I'm 17 and want to be a journalist after my father refused to sign my enlistment papers after Afghanistan.

01:40:42.000 No punctuation at all.

01:40:44.000 Wrote a response to Robert Reich.

01:40:46.000 What?

01:40:47.000 And was curious on your input.

01:40:49.000 And I do apologize.

01:40:50.000 I wrote like a woman.

01:40:51.000 Below, I linked his article and my response.

01:40:54.000 No, we're not looking at that, fuckhead.

01:40:56.000 You don't fucking speak English.

01:40:59.000 If you don't work that hard on an email, we know that everything else that you do is going to suck.

01:41:05.000 Oh, and then he's got his whole opinion on Robert Reich.

01:41:07.000 Robert Reich's that little midget, right?

01:41:14.000 Okay, someone's sending me pictures.

01:41:15.000 I don't know how she got my email.

01:41:18.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 What up, Dumbies?

01:41:22.000 No.

01:41:23.000 What up, my niggs?

01:41:27.000 I've attached a pic I grabbed to this gigantic piece of shit.

01:41:30.000 It was begging for money outside my favorite breakfast spot in Chicago on Sunday morning.

01:41:33.000 Homeboy is rocking $180 Jordans.

01:41:36.000 I was astonished by the audacity of this fag.

01:41:38.000 Look at the fucking glare in his asshole eyes as I made it painfully obvious that I would be posting this pic.

01:41:44.000 Walt.

01:41:46.000 Yeah, he's real mad that he's going to be identified.

01:41:48.000 Also, why are you worried about COVID when you live on the street and you're obese?

01:41:52.000 Oh, I guess that does make sense after all.

01:41:55.000 Hey, Gavin Rye.

01:41:56.000 I'm a Canadian boy from the Toronto area.

01:41:58.000 I never listened to country music growing up, but I don't know where I went down a rabbit hole this weekend.

01:42:01.000 A lot of the songs are so deep and profound.

01:42:02.000 They have great stories.

01:42:03.000 This guy's discovered country music.

01:42:05.000 Thank you.

01:42:06.000 Okay, those are all new ones from today, but here's ones that I have looked up and researched on my own.

01:42:13.000 This is interesting.

01:42:15.000 The, hey, you're cool.

01:42:16.000 Broad is a singer.

01:42:19.000 And she does political activism songs with her weird, bloated body and her balding hairline about rape.

01:42:27.000 So if you scroll forward, you'll see a cool rape jam.

01:42:30.000 Opportunity at least one.

01:42:33.000 Hey, go back.

01:42:40.000 Miko.

01:42:41.000 Hey, Miko.

01:42:46.000 Look at all the people that believe you.

01:42:48.000 Of course, some of them are being repeated.

01:42:50.000 Hey.

01:43:24.000 Should I stand still?

01:43:25.000 When you have people singing or should I dance?

01:43:29.000 You're cool.

01:43:39.000 You're cool.

01:43:45.000 I know.

01:43:48.000 That's I got in trouble for saying on Twitter.

01:43:50.000 I know of about five domestic abuse cases within my circle of friends.

01:43:54.000 Every time it was someone, some bitch, trying to fuck over a guy who was not hitting her.

01:43:59.000 Including Kale Hartman.

01:44:01.000 Dude.

01:44:02.000 What?

01:44:03.000 Do you know who this is?

01:44:05.000 Wait, not that guy.

01:44:07.000 Do you know who that is?

01:44:08.000 Her, right there?

01:44:09.000 Yes.

01:44:09.000 No?

01:44:10.000 She is in Sam Hyde's famous sketch.

01:44:13.000 Probably one of the best sketches.

01:44:14.000 Moms.

01:44:16.000 Remember the sketch?

01:44:17.000 They hired women to play their moms, but then they broke character and then just started insulting them.

01:44:22.000 That's the same woman.

01:44:23.000 Oh, no.

01:44:24.000 She's deaf.

01:44:26.000 Oh, no.

01:44:28.000 Oh, my, that's awesome.

01:44:30.000 Thank you for sending this in, whoever the fuck you are.

01:44:33.000 Hey, you're from Sam Hyde's Clip.

01:44:38.000 Wow.

01:44:41.000 Dear Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie, I offer an anecdote that begs a larger question.

01:44:45.000 When I was younger, I was having a conversation with a black woman who was a few years older than me and thought that the white race was responsible for some of the most evil acts in the world, and she would never trust a white person.

01:44:56.000 Now, my approach would most likely change, but I spoke to the tune of what I knew so far and responded with, well, black people are very tribal and tend to stick with their own and only trust one another.

01:45:08.000 So I would beg the question, if she had gotten this information that whites are all evil from a white person, she got defensive.

01:45:14.000 Pretty much, sorry, dude, you can't speak English.

01:45:17.000 I don't know why I okayed that.

01:45:19.000 Like, you got to read your letters.

01:45:21.000 And I did read the letter.

01:45:22.000 I don't know why that made it through my cuts.

01:45:26.000 Cringe TikTok video.

01:45:27.000 I'm a cringe snob, and this thoroughly satisfied me.

01:45:30.000 Reminds me of Gav's impression of that Euro dude partying at the disco, man.

01:45:42.000 Fire again.

01:45:43.000 Oh, we need somebody to lean on.

01:45:46.000 Working, fire again.

01:45:48.000 Oh, we need someone to lean on.

01:45:50.000 Working, fire again.

01:45:52.000 Oh, we needed somebody to lean on.

01:46:05.000 And here's the hood handicap modeling that you showed randomly earlier.

01:46:10.000 Oh, yeah.

01:46:13.000 We've seen this guy before, but I've never seen him on the runway before.

01:46:16.000 You'd think if you're going to do this, you'd want the most smooth marble runway imaginable, like perfect.

01:46:35.000 Can you see his foot?

01:46:37.000 Wait, go back, go back.

01:46:38.000 Kill me.

01:46:42.000 It doesn't fit in the shoe.

01:46:44.000 No, that's it.

01:46:44.000 That's it.

01:46:44.000 Don't go back.

01:46:46.000 Around there.

01:46:46.000 Yeah, there.

01:46:49.000 It doesn't fit.

01:46:51.000 If the shoe don't fit, you must quit modeling.

01:46:56.000 Aren't models supposed to be you looking your very best?

01:47:00.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:01.000 That's racist to think that way.

01:47:03.000 Like when you look at a runway, you're like, I want to look very beautiful in this outfit.

01:47:07.000 Let's see the best I could possibly look.

01:47:09.000 Now, you're not going to look as good as the model when you put it on, but it's like you're imagining you just really shining.

01:47:16.000 It's sort of like they get mad at women who are photoshopped in magazines.

01:47:19.000 And you go, no, this is how a man sees a woman when he's in love.

01:47:23.000 His brain photoshops out the zits.

01:47:26.000 So we can do that in magazines.

01:47:27.000 This is the opposite.

01:47:29.000 No one wants to look like that.

01:47:32.000 In fact, if you did that to a prisoner, like a criminal, and his punishment was to be crippled in a wheelchair, he could sue because that's a cruel and unusual punishment.

01:47:41.000 You're not different.

01:47:42.000 You're worse.

01:47:45.000 Okay, last one.

01:47:46.000 Indigenous Canadians get $150,000 in reparations.

01:47:49.000 A family member just got $150,000 Canadian dollars in reparations.

01:47:54.000 He bought a $92,000 car and then finds out the headlights are $4,000 and now he wants to sell it.

01:48:02.000 Another friend got the same amount and bought a camper.

01:48:06.000 The election is coming up and no one around me, I mean no one is talking about these instant success checks.

01:48:12.000 Instead, the Green Party leader says all Canadians are racist as an example.

01:48:16.000 Be careful who you tell.

01:48:17.000 The media in this country is bought and controlled by the Liberals.

01:48:19.000 Ask Ezra.

01:48:21.000 Food for thought.

01:48:22.000 I didn't hear about this.

01:48:23.000 You got that picture?

01:48:24.000 Yeah, I showed it.

01:48:25.000 While you're reading it.

01:48:26.000 $2 billion in reparations to Aboriginal survivors.

01:48:31.000 I'm sure that'll be...

01:48:32.000 You know what you should do if you're an Indian and you get that kind of money?

01:48:36.000 Buy a tow truck because every other Indian is going to spend it on a Chevy S10 blazer and they're going to wrap it around a telephone pole and it's going to need to get towed.

01:48:45.000 You're going to feel like you've been towed.

01:48:49.000 In defense of Ryan, Kevin, you keep asking Ryan to Google things using quote marks and then you get upset when it does not work out properly.

01:48:57.000 Google has changed it with their algorithm where even if you quote something, it will not come up anymore as the algorithm has changed to push up authoritative in brackets censored sources slash results.

01:49:09.000 You're spot on about the microphones though, but I do think it is people fucking with you with the audio levels.

01:49:14.000 I think it'd be great if you got and maybe paid a couple testers to mock call in to test with the equipment.

01:49:19.000 Yeah, Ryan, let's make sure that you spend a massive part of this week making sure we don't have fuck-ups Thursday night.

01:49:28.000 Gotcha.

01:49:29.000 Because if the microphones do not work absolutely perfectly, I am going to fucking fine you.

01:49:36.000 We still have to take into consideration Skype restarts and stuff like that.

01:49:41.000 Things that are...

01:49:42.000 That hasn't happened in a while.

01:49:44.000 But we should also be willing to abandon Skype if it's not working.

01:49:48.000 Hmm.

01:49:49.000 I'll look around.

01:49:50.000 It has to work.

01:49:51.000 I don't care if we have to hire an audio guy to come in here and fix these problems.

01:49:55.000 I don't care what the process is to fix it.

01:49:57.000 It just has to be fixed.

01:49:59.000 True.

01:50:02.000 All right, let's go to the final video.

01:50:18.000 This is a video of an African-American man having some Chick-fil-A.

01:50:24.000 We're, of course, traumatized by Chick-fil-A because last time we were there, we were yelled at.

01:50:29.000 Or Ryan's Friend was.

01:50:32.000 He looks like he's about to spit it out.

01:50:41.000 Dude, finish chewing what's in your mouth.

01:50:52.000 All right, that's enough.

01:50:55.000 So yeah, funny broads, funny weekend.

01:50:57.000 Tomorrow, we'll catch up with more deep thinking.

01:51:00.000 I just wanted to get out the news that we hadn't covered in the past two days and tell you about our stupid trip, which was a lot less interesting than I thought it would be.

01:51:08.000 But luckily, we saved the day with the discussion of funny broads, which never gets old.

01:51:13.000 I love talking about funny broads and wondering if they're funny or not.

01:51:17.000 And the truth is, yes, when we use meritocracy, the women we see on the screen are funny.

01:51:23.000 When we're trying to compensate for some sort of mythical bias, the women we see on the screen are not funny.

01:51:29.000 Amber Ruffin is not funny.

01:51:32.000 The chick who said Kale raped her is not funny.

01:51:35.000 The bitch who said don't cheer for the other side is fucking funny.

01:51:40.000 What's the matter with meritocracy?

01:51:43.000 There's not a lot of whites in the NBA.

01:51:45.000 You don't see me complaining.

01:51:46.000 What is it, 80% black?

01:51:48.000 Fine.

01:51:49.000 Whoever is best at basketball should play basketball.

01:51:52.000 Whoever's best at funny should be funny.

01:51:54.000 Are these revolutionary ideas?

01:51:55.000 Am I so crazy?

01:51:57.000 No, I'm not.

01:51:58.000 So I'm going to say it anytime I'm asked.

01:52:01.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:52:25.000 Let that dollar make a work work.

01:52:27.000 I ain't scared of death, but I fear them as dead as breath.

01:52:30.000 All the drugs in your veins, I am blessed with the smartest brain.

01:52:33.000 I remember your laugh when I was at my worst.

01:52:36.000 Let me tell you, piece of scum, I'm supported from above.

01:52:39.000 Your many mighty M's while you're talking shit behind my back.

01:52:42.000 All the shit you said made you look like a little bitch that had your opinion, bitch, fuck that.

01:52:46.000 What do I think of you?

01:52:48.000 How I laugh in your face, bitch, if you only knew.

01:52:51.000 Ha ha, ha ha, ha.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 13, 2021

S04E28 - FUNNY BROADS

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