Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 24, 2021


S04E33 - BLACK MURDER SYNDROME


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 41 minutes

Words per Minute

142.45544

Word Count

14,388

Sentence Count

1,476

Misogynist Sentences

98

Hate Speech Sentences

106


Summary

In this episode of Get Off My Lawn, Gav talks about his new music video, how he would like to be put in a medically induced coma, and why he thinks white people are racist because they're not black.


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Please put me in a medically induced coma.
00:00:09.000 Don't make me live awake.
00:00:12.000 I'm tired.
00:00:14.000 Live from New York.
00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
00:00:21.000 Bars and flowers on my album cover.
00:00:25.000 You don't play.
00:00:27.000 You make me worthless.
00:00:30.000 What if I just threw you away?
00:00:34.000 My clothes don't fit and I can feel my spine.
00:00:39.000 I can't give up the drugs, so I give up all life.
00:00:46.000 Please put me in a medically induced comedy.
00:01:05.000 That was and is Carol's daughter.
00:01:08.000 All one word with an E. And she'd like to be put into a mentally induced coma.
00:01:14.000 She's an emo Malgoth who has a ton of fucking piercings in her face.
00:01:20.000 Does anyone find that attractive?
00:01:23.000 Young men today like making out with girls with facial piercings?
00:01:28.000 It's not a great message to send to people, is it?
00:01:32.000 As a young lady.
00:01:33.000 It kind of means I'm garbage.
00:01:35.000 Jizz on me.
00:01:43.000 I was going to play.
00:01:46.000 Oh, wait a minute.
00:01:46.000 I sent that as a separate email, right?
00:01:48.000 I was going to play.
00:01:49.000 These are all baby monster submissions, by the way.
00:01:52.000 I was going to play this black homo who I've been meaning to play for a long time.
00:01:57.000 It's a really funny video because it's about like, hey, girl, you think I'm not one of the girls just because I'm a big fat, gay black dude?
00:02:04.000 Well, watch this.
00:02:06.000 And then proceeds to do nothing.
00:02:08.000 Because he's lazy.
00:02:09.000 That's why he's fat.
00:02:11.000 Santana is a lazy, fat, useless piece of shit.
00:02:16.000 There he is.
00:02:20.000 I tired of this.
00:02:25.000 Okay, so stop.
00:02:26.000 So this is how this should work.
00:02:29.000 They're like the freak homos of the school.
00:02:32.000 And the in-crowd, I guess, in this magical world, are white.
00:02:35.000 Of course, in reality, the freaks, the homos, would be the in-crowd.
00:02:40.000 And the white girls would be getting told that they're racist pieces of shit and probably be, I don't know, have the shit beaten out of them for daring to be white.
00:02:52.000 But if you're going to have this crazy world where black gays are treated like shit, which would only really happen at black schools, maybe Hispanic schools, but not white schools.
00:03:01.000 But anyway, let's pretend that's a universe.
00:03:04.000 Then these people had better be doing some amazing flips and Ollie McTwists and fucking hand springs.
00:03:15.000 Like, I better go, what the hell was that?
00:03:18.000 How dare I underestimate you?
00:03:21.000 The in crowd has just been showing what time it is.
00:03:25.000 Well, let's see what they do.
00:03:29.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:03:30.000 Y'all always just trying to steal our grooves.
00:03:33.000 Steal our emotions.
00:03:33.000 You ain't gonna notice.
00:03:35.000 Guess what?
00:03:36.000 I got something for y'all bitches.
00:03:38.000 Meet us in the gym and we're gonna show you how I got.
00:03:41.000 Bye.
00:03:42.000 Bye, Felicia.
00:03:43.000 Bye, bitch.
00:03:45.000 Talk to the hand because you ain't got no man.
00:03:50.000 Okay, Saucy.
00:03:51.000 So here's my advice.
00:03:52.000 Work with like a choreographer for three months.
00:03:56.000 Stop.
00:03:57.000 Bob Onenkirk's movie, Nobody, he did MMA on a daily basis for two years, non-stop, all day, practicing training.
00:04:05.000 He didn't have to.
00:04:06.000 There's stunt men for that.
00:04:07.000 But he really wanted to shine in his action debut.
00:04:13.000 Okay, Saucy Santana, you just talked about how awesome you are.
00:04:16.000 You have a beard and long hair and those stupid eyelashes, which, by the way, are no longer just a black thing.
00:04:24.000 They have drifted into not just white culture, but middle-class, middle-aged women, white culture.
00:04:30.000 I see women at the airport who are normal with fucking ridiculous palm fronds.
00:04:38.000 It's not possible to look not ridiculous with those eyelashes.
00:04:44.000 I am a woman.
00:04:45.000 I am black.
00:04:47.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:04:56.000 Dazzle me.
00:05:04.000 Here we go.
00:05:04.000 Here we go.
00:05:05.000 Here we go.
00:05:05.000 Here we go.
00:05:06.000 Okay, here we go.
00:05:07.000 I got you.
00:05:08.000 We're getting into the groove.
00:05:10.000 We're warming up.
00:05:11.000 Nintendo dazzle.
00:05:23.000 So far, Jim McInnis could match you note for note.
00:05:27.000 Move for move.
00:05:31.000 What?
00:05:31.000 That wasn't even a good twerk.
00:05:36.000 What are you showing up?
00:05:37.000 I don't get it.
00:05:38.000 You're supposed to be showing off.
00:05:41.000 You're meeting in the gym.
00:05:43.000 This is like a breakdown, breakdance.
00:05:46.000 Badass showdown.
00:05:50.000 They're so fucking lazy.
00:05:53.000 Look at this.
00:05:56.000 So you know what happened here?
00:05:58.000 They didn't practice or anything.
00:06:00.000 They just said, and then I'm going to get like my hair and my nails did.
00:06:03.000 And then you just film us.
00:06:04.000 And we'll just be like dancing and working out and showing everyone how good we is.
00:06:09.000 You suck.
00:06:11.000 Look at this.
00:06:14.000 Get a stuntman.
00:06:16.000 Get some super fancy dancer to wear that big dumbass wig and go like spin around on her head.
00:06:25.000 Look at that.
00:06:25.000 The splits.
00:06:26.000 That's kind of hard.
00:06:27.000 I can't do the splits.
00:06:29.000 So that's been the only hard thing so far.
00:06:32.000 That was too much of indecence.
00:06:37.000 We fucking all night.
00:06:44.000 Anyway, that was really impressive.
00:06:46.000 And then finally, of course, let's cleanse the palette with the chat's testament to ACDC, which once again, Australia's hitting it out of the park with high-quality entertainment.
00:06:58.000 ACDC, who they call the second best band in the world.
00:07:01.000 Dude, this glare is new.
00:07:03.000 What's going on here?
00:07:05.000 That's an old glare.
00:07:07.000 Well, it's old glare and then you've had it for a while now.
00:07:10.000 Is that that light?
00:07:11.000 It's the, no, no, your key light right in front of you to the front left.
00:07:15.000 Okay, that's new.
00:07:20.000 We worked hard to have no glare.
00:07:21.000 We always had a little bit of glare, but that's more than ush.
00:07:26.000 Fix it.
00:07:27.000 Alright.
00:07:29.000 Now?
00:07:29.000 Yeah.
00:07:31.000 Okay.
00:07:33.000 I asked you about this a long time ago.
00:07:35.000 I said, doesn't a thumbnail having a glare bother you?
00:07:39.000 Things should bother you about the site.
00:07:43.000 Like our t-shirts page should make you go, oh shit.
00:07:48.000 Can't it go higher?
00:07:50.000 You're positive it's at maximum height.
00:07:55.000 You're positive that stand is at maximum height.
00:07:59.000 I don't believe you.
00:08:17.000 Now it's got a reboot.
00:08:19.000 Well, that's 4% better.
00:08:25.000 I don't know.
00:08:28.000 Abysmal failure.
00:08:30.000 Yeah, let's get to the chats.
00:08:33.000 This is a great jam.
00:08:34.000 It's ancient Chinese secret by now.
00:08:38.000 What a fucking awesome man.
00:08:48.000 Although, meeting the Catholic Church is a little horn-based.
00:09:26.000 Speaking of rock and jams, someone sent me a TikTok today of a woman listening to what appears to be a remix of Yours Truly telling her the truth.
00:09:39.000 And she's outraged at how sexist it is.
00:09:41.000 And I want to see if you notice something about this video.
00:09:45.000 This audio.
00:09:46.000 Women do earn less in America because they choose to.
00:09:50.000 They would rather go to their daughter's piano recital than stay all night at work working on a proposal.
00:09:58.000 So they end up earning less.
00:09:59.000 They're less ambitious.
00:10:00.000 And I think this is sort of God's way.
00:10:02.000 This is nature's way of saying women should be at home with the kids.
00:10:05.000 They're happier there.
00:10:07.000 Women are happier at home.
00:10:12.000 Women do earn less.
00:10:13.000 So I guess that's in a song?
00:10:16.000 Or someone else on TikTok remixed it?
00:10:19.000 Here's what's great about that.
00:10:20.000 She's happy and she's at home.
00:10:23.000 She's got her fur babies to appease her maternal instinct because she's too young to have kids, but genetically she wants to nurture.
00:10:31.000 And she's so happy at home, by the way, at her house, that they've labeled the porch like it's a restaurant.
00:10:39.000 That's how much they love being at home.
00:10:42.000 Why'd you leave it?
00:10:44.000 I want a boyfriend.
00:10:47.000 Just looking at her loneliness here.
00:10:49.000 Yeah, she got dumped recently.
00:10:50.000 I checked her out.
00:10:52.000 But yeah, maybe she's being sarcastic.
00:10:55.000 I don't think so.
00:10:55.000 But this woman is happy at home, spending lots of time at home, alone, and lamenting the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend, which really is, you know, your genetics yearning for a family.
00:11:09.000 If a young girl wants a boyfriend, a generation or two ago, she would have been married with a kid by now.
00:11:17.000 I mean, God did design us to have families much younger than we do.
00:11:22.000 The reason you see these 13, 14-year-olds busting ass at baseball is because they have testosterone coursing through their veins.
00:11:29.000 And what's testosterone for?
00:11:31.000 It's for breeding, hunting, warring.
00:11:35.000 Now, luckily, we're advanced now, and we don't have to kill for our supper and maim a nearby tribe, but that's a very recent development.
00:11:45.000 And now I sound like I'm sexualizing young teens.
00:11:48.000 That's not a good look.
00:11:50.000 Also on the TikTok news, Bobby Kelly.
00:11:53.000 I don't know if you saw the entire show on Wednesday before I showed up, but Bobby Kelly sat down in the chair and the little footrest just went kung and broke off.
00:12:04.000 And he just goes, these fucking garbage chairs, these cheap bullshit chairs, which I think is what fat people do when they break a chair.
00:12:11.000 They bitch about how stupid and cheap the chair is.
00:12:13.000 Now, Anthony's had Big A over at his house quite a bit and has lost $4,000 of chairs.
00:12:20.000 And he's not a fan of fat people wrecking his chairs.
00:12:23.000 In fact, I heard him say about Big A, he goes, how is that different than a junkie borrowing my car and wrecking it?
00:12:30.000 He's addicted to food and he wrecked my beautiful chair.
00:12:33.000 And Anthony's a zip.
00:12:35.000 So he's got like these ornate chairs with all the floral wood and the red velvet.
00:12:41.000 Everything looks like a king's throne.
00:12:43.000 Even the thing you have a burrito on.
00:12:47.000 So Bobby Kelly came and broke.
00:12:49.000 He just said the chairs suck.
00:12:50.000 And Anthony goes, really?
00:12:51.000 I mean, we've had them for seven years.
00:12:54.000 They've sucked all this time.
00:12:55.000 And he goes, yeah, exactly.
00:12:57.000 Seven years.
00:12:57.000 They're old.
00:12:58.000 They're garbage.
00:12:59.000 How about an apology?
00:13:00.000 I'm so fat that I broke a chair.
00:13:02.000 Anyway, Bobby Kelly made this video the day after breaking Anthony's chair where he actually blames the chair.
00:13:12.000 Yes, chairs.
00:13:14.000 Let's talk about chairs.
00:13:16.000 Full pun intended chairs are the biggest fucking issue in the fat community.
00:13:23.000 The amount of public spaces like doctor's offices, malls, what the fuck ever.
00:13:28.000 Places that have seating, restaurants, etc., never, ever have accessible seating.
00:13:35.000 Some places just have stools or some places just have armed, small, dinky-looking chairs.
00:13:43.000 As a fat person, if you have never ever done the following things.
00:13:50.000 Hold on.
00:13:50.000 Hold on.
00:13:51.000 If you have not.
00:13:53.000 You chose to be fat.
00:13:54.000 This is the elephant in the room when it comes to gigantic fat pigs.
00:14:00.000 You're in blackface and you're complaining about racism.
00:14:03.000 I'm a drunk.
00:14:05.000 If I was going somewhere, I would have to inquire to see if they had booze.
00:14:10.000 If they don't, I'll bring my own bottle or if the booze is prohibitively expensive, like it was on vacation this summer, $22 a maker's.
00:14:20.000 I'll bring my own makers.
00:14:22.000 I'll buy it at duty free.
00:14:24.000 I can't complain about that.
00:14:27.000 That's my self-indulgence.
00:14:30.000 The fact that you can turn your obesity into some sort of genetic curse and then get mad at everyone for not acquiescing into your obesity, that's, well, it's the kind of thing that lazy fat pigs do.
00:14:43.000 I mean, obviously you're self-indulgent.
00:14:45.000 We have eyeballs.
00:14:47.000 Ever looked at a picture of a restaurant on Google Maps to try and figure out if the seating would be accessible to your size?
00:14:56.000 If you've never broken a chair in a public space in the middle of the map.
00:14:59.000 I've never broken a chair.
00:15:01.000 Have you, Ryan?
00:15:02.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:15:04.000 But not due to fatness, I don't think.
00:15:07.000 To second guess whether or not it was okay to sit down in the chairs provided to you.
00:15:13.000 If you've never had a fucking panic attack at school because you couldn't fit into the goddamn chair desk situation, then you don't deal with fat phobia at the same level that the rest of us do.
00:15:25.000 Okay.
00:15:26.000 And this is just one example.
00:15:27.000 There are a plus.
00:15:29.000 I officially don't deal with fat phobia at the same level the rest of you do.
00:15:35.000 Correct.
00:15:36.000 Correct.
00:15:37.000 Next.
00:15:38.000 You know who else has to deal with struggling things with their body?
00:15:42.000 What?
00:15:45.000 You don't understand the benefits of being a normal person until you look at someone like me who, you know, can't buy clothes off the shelf.
00:15:54.000 Well, this is exactly the same.
00:15:55.000 They have the same problem.
00:15:56.000 Normal places too.
00:15:58.000 Can't ride in certain size cars, can't ride in certain size airplane seats, going to hotels, overseas, staying in small beds, trying to fit in small shoes.
00:16:06.000 You purposely made yourself way bigger than everyone else in both cases.
00:16:10.000 290 pounds.
00:16:11.000 Look at his face freaking out like he's going into a pile of broken glass.
00:16:15.000 It's called water, dude.
00:16:18.000 Oh, here we go.
00:16:21.000 Like he's superhuman about to jump on fluorescent light bulbs.
00:16:24.000 Huh?
00:16:27.000 I'm about to get water all over my face.
00:16:29.000 Oh, yeah, jugglets.
00:16:32.000 What did you say?
00:16:33.000 Fuck this shit.
00:16:34.000 And then he does it.
00:16:35.000 Juggle loosen jugglets.
00:16:37.000 Yeah.
00:16:41.000 Speaking of funny, Gazzikadzo is still fucking shit up.
00:16:46.000 So he's now, he's a giant troll, whether he knows it or not.
00:16:50.000 This is the guy, he's the reason we say, Uhuru, he is the soundbite, Uhuru.
00:16:57.000 We saw him on a viral video, god damn it, seven years ago now, where he was making white people talk about how they're going to give reparations, Doe.
00:17:09.000 What is it, dead ass?
00:17:11.000 Deadass going to give reparations to blacks.
00:17:13.000 And we thought that was funny that the whites were cucking themselves so much before him.
00:17:17.000 Then he was booted out of Black Lives Matter for being a homo.
00:17:20.000 Then he went on the run.
00:17:22.000 Then he built some fucking giant African community center.
00:17:28.000 Hammer City.
00:17:30.000 And then, no, that's before that.
00:17:32.000 Then Hammer City came along.
00:17:34.000 Then they got land in Arizona, which I don't think they can have.
00:17:40.000 So I think they've since been evicted from this random clump of land they said they were starting a new society on, if we all recall that.
00:17:47.000 And the most recent development is that he is supporting Nikki Minaj in her war on vaxxers, which is awesome.
00:17:59.000 And now he's inviting Trump people to come with him.
00:18:02.000 Group that protested CDC in support of Nicki Minaj invites Trump supporters to join them for demonstration this Friday at CDC headquarters.
00:18:08.000 Says CDC employees threw things at them.
00:18:13.000 He's awesome.
00:18:14.000 Yeah, he's, I mean, a cultural icon.
00:18:18.000 And people keep, he's kind of like Forrest Gump in that he keeps popping up and people don't realize that's the guy from the previous thing.
00:18:26.000 They're just like, there's a weird black activist out there.
00:18:29.000 Is there a video of him telling Trump supporters that they're invited?
00:18:34.000 He was recently the Joker, too.
00:18:35.000 He was like, yeah, yeah, but in that link.
00:18:39.000 Unfortunately.
00:18:41.000 Oh, God, Gateway.
00:18:42.000 Do this post on Instagram.
00:18:45.000 There's some...
00:18:47.000 Oh, okay.
00:18:48.000 It's going to take a day to load.
00:18:49.000 Let me look him up myself.
00:18:51.000 Gatsy.
00:18:51.000 Commander Gatsy on Instagram, if you're interested.
00:18:56.000 No.
00:18:57.000 Some anti-mask stuff.
00:19:00.000 On his Instagram?
00:19:03.000 Oh, what's his take on this?
00:19:07.000 I remember y'all saying we have to vote Trump out to get kids out of cages at the border.
00:19:10.000 Well, now Biden is whipping our people at the border, B-O-A-R, and there are more kids in cages he and Obama built.
00:19:17.000 What happened to all that harm reduction y'all spoke of?
00:19:20.000 Voting is for sheep.
00:19:23.000 So, speaking of which, by the way, the COVID thing, jump to 2-2.
00:19:26.000 Didn't I call this a million years ago?
00:19:28.000 I said, if you have To get on your $5,000 computer and then use your hashtag and your UPC thing to log in and get on the database and then show your iPhone, your $1,000 iPhone.
00:19:43.000 You're going to have lots of organized white liberals who are willing to be part of the movement, and you're going to have a lot of 72-year-old Dominican dudes who barely have a flip phone.
00:19:54.000 And when that happens at an event and all the white people come in and the black and the browns have to stay there, you're going to have a racist law and you're going to shit your pants.
00:20:02.000 Now, Oregon came across this and their solution, which didn't last long because it's a violation of the 1962 Civil Rights Act, was people of color are exempt.
00:20:13.000 That didn't work, thank God, because that was a hole in my theory.
00:20:16.000 But here we have Black Lives Matter of Greater New York blasting the vaccine mandates as racist and disrespectful.
00:20:25.000 That's a funny word in black culture because it means so much to them.
00:20:29.000 And as Jim Goad put it, why do you care who respects you?
00:20:33.000 Don't be disrespectful to people or not respectful people.
00:20:36.000 Disrespectful, I think, is not actually a word.
00:20:42.000 How piquant.
00:20:46.000 Don Lamon.
00:20:48.000 Greg Gutfeld and Tucker Carlson just had a debate on who's stupid or Don Lamon or Chris Cuomo.
00:20:55.000 And Tucker chose Chris Cuomo.
00:20:58.000 Whoa.
00:21:00.000 I think Chris Cuomo is mentally ill.
00:21:04.000 Don Lamon is.
00:21:05.000 I mean, it's a good debate because I go back and forth in my head, but Don Lamon's definitely dumber.
00:21:10.000 Yeah.
00:21:10.000 I mean, he doesn't know anything.
00:21:12.000 But zips are kind of like inherently dense.
00:21:15.000 Right.
00:21:16.000 You know?
00:21:16.000 I think a fun test would just be a bunch of times tables with them.
00:21:22.000 And don't you feel like Laman would turf it six times seven?
00:21:28.000 I'll tell you what Don Laman would do.
00:21:30.000 He'd do the, what?
00:21:32.000 Six times seven?
00:21:33.000 Oh, you're asking me?
00:21:35.000 Oh.
00:21:35.000 Oh, yeah, that's 42.
00:21:37.000 Right.
00:21:38.000 He'd buy himself some time.
00:21:41.000 Chris Como, I feel it would say 42 pretty quick.
00:21:46.000 All right, we're still not starting the show.
00:21:47.000 We're still in the fun zone.
00:21:49.000 Speaking of fun, I sent you this update email after I sent you all this, shiznit, about some stuff.
00:21:59.000 Kyle Dunnegan has a new show out.
00:22:01.000 And you know what I realized watching, pull up his latest live stream.
00:22:05.000 I'm watching Tom Furayo.
00:22:08.000 I'm watching Sil Stone, which is the proper way to abbreviate Sylvester.
00:22:14.000 And I'm realizing that this is Joe Tonelli.
00:22:18.000 Kyle Dunagan Sly Stone is Joe Tonelli.
00:22:22.000 And by the way, we've had some baby monsters sending us warnings from the Arizona government that he is on an imposter's list for nurses.
00:22:33.000 Yes, we're very familiar with his fraudulent past pretending to be a nurse.
00:22:38.000 Welcome to this show.
00:22:40.000 My goodness, if we pull off this one, it will be a miracle.
00:22:45.000 My gosh, we got some pick-me-ups.
00:22:48.000 We got these two pussies that are going to be here, too, that I hate.
00:22:53.000 But we got to bring them in here.
00:22:55.000 I don't like those characters.
00:22:56.000 Just so we don't get kids, so we got to bring those pussies.
00:22:58.000 I hate those fucking pussies.
00:23:00.000 I do too, Kirk.
00:23:02.000 But you be nice.
00:23:02.000 We give them five minutes, and there'll be no trouble.
00:23:06.000 It's like a shakedown.
00:23:08.000 It is like a shakedown.
00:23:10.000 You're right.
00:23:11.000 But anyway, you got to play the game.
00:23:13.000 Now, Ryan, I'm so fucking mad at you, which is nothing new.
00:23:17.000 But, like, why don't you have a bunch of these celebrity faces?
00:23:21.000 It could be a major part of this show.
00:23:24.000 Our show could be as funny as this show.
00:23:26.000 And you could be Bill Burr.
00:23:28.000 You could be Jake Taffer.
00:23:29.000 What's his name?
00:23:30.000 John Taffer?
00:23:31.000 John Taffer, yeah.
00:23:33.000 You could be all these guys, but you just go home and noodle on your guitar.
00:23:38.000 Shouldn't you just be in a band?
00:23:40.000 Shouldn't you quit this job and be in a band?
00:23:42.000 This is not your passion.
00:23:44.000 That is not true.
00:23:46.000 This is not true.
00:23:47.000 I love my job.
00:23:50.000 Okay, so you...
00:23:51.000 What's this now?
00:23:52.000 See what's Trump.
00:23:54.000 I just downloaded this video.
00:23:55.000 Frankly, big things going on.
00:23:58.000 My lips are not really moving.
00:24:00.000 They're not really moving.
00:24:03.000 But we're doing Trump.
00:24:04.000 I'm not the best at Trump, frankly.
00:24:09.000 Everything woke turns to shit.
00:24:11.000 Not sure why my lips are blue.
00:24:13.000 Spent a little too much time in the pool, frankly.
00:24:16.000 Very cold.
00:24:17.000 Very cold.
00:24:18.000 It's a cold pool.
00:24:20.000 Cold pool.
00:24:21.000 Cold world.
00:24:25.000 Okay, so you've done that for me.
00:24:27.000 Why don't you have 500, even just Trump?
00:24:30.000 Say we could say, what does Trump think about this?
00:24:33.000 Oh, yeah.
00:24:34.000 I'd happy.
00:24:35.000 Yeah, I just.
00:24:36.000 Sounds good.
00:24:37.000 I love that idea that you brought up six months ago.
00:24:40.000 I don't love the idea of me just chiming in because I don't know if that would be a welcomed thing.
00:24:46.000 But now that you're telling me it is, then I will chime in with some impressions.
00:24:50.000 What?
00:24:52.000 You're learning for the first time that we enjoy your only talent?
00:24:56.000 Yes.
00:24:56.000 But well, I mean, if you're just talking about something and I'm like, what would Jordan Peterson have to say about this?
00:25:02.000 No, you don't add that.
00:25:04.000 You just go, clean your room.
00:25:06.000 Just like a video drop.
00:25:07.000 Right.
00:25:08.000 Like when rooms come up or something.
00:25:12.000 I could do it more.
00:25:14.000 But I'm talking about the faces, dude.
00:25:16.000 Yeah, no, I. You failed at this so many times and then you always have your stupid bullshit excuse where you're like, yeah, yeah, no, the app only has like one face and you have to do it this way.
00:25:25.000 That's not true.
00:25:26.000 The phone app was a paid app.
00:25:28.000 Yeah, but you didn't look up the right thing, like this dude, Jeff Daniels.
00:25:32.000 Why is Jeff Daniels able to accomplish this thing?
00:25:36.000 So I think they're both using the same thing I'm using right now, which is Snap Camera.
00:25:42.000 Okay.
00:25:43.000 The problem is, okay, see how that camera's on you there?
00:25:48.000 No, that does not look like Kyle Dunnegan's slystone.
00:25:51.000 It does not look like Jeff Daniels characters.
00:25:54.000 That's because that is Donald Trump.
00:25:57.000 Thanks, Ryan, you fucking boob.
00:25:59.000 I'm talking about the way it wraps around the face.
00:26:02.000 no, this is a different mask.
00:26:04.000 This is a different style.
00:26:05.000 So now, if you do this, now that's what you're, you know, that's on your face.
00:26:11.000 That one's shitty.
00:26:12.000 What about this one?
00:26:13.000 This one's better.
00:26:16.000 Sort of.
00:26:17.000 My problem is now getting my face, feeding my camera into.
00:26:24.000 Anyway, we don't want to bore the baby monsters with Minusha, but you work way too little.
00:26:30.000 This has to change.
00:26:32.000 You're here for fucking five hours a day, Max.
00:26:35.000 You're getting paid 40 hours a week.
00:26:37.000 You're putting in two-thirds of that.
00:26:40.000 You need to start doing your job.
00:26:42.000 And part of that is getting this set up.
00:26:44.000 It's been months and months.
00:26:45.000 I've been begging you to figure it out.
00:26:48.000 And everyone else.
00:26:48.000 Let's show some Jeff Daniels videos.
00:26:51.000 This is a guy.
00:26:52.000 He was a writer at SNL.
00:26:54.000 Every comedian knows and loves him.
00:26:56.000 No one's heard of him, including me.
00:26:58.000 His stand-up career is a complete failure.
00:27:00.000 Even at SNL, the only character he managed really to get on screen was Weekend Update's Drunk Girl, which was popular for a while in the Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon days.
00:27:11.000 Anyway, as Ryan showed me, I didn't know this, but last night he showed me this guy has been doing celebrity interviews where he's got the cool digital face that I wish Ryan could figure out.
00:27:23.000 And then he's talking to a real celebrity, or sometimes he's talking to himself.
00:27:27.000 And the quality of these fucking videos, like look at that, look at the Dustin Hoffman one.
00:27:33.000 Surrey is not on prescription medication.
00:27:35.000 I try to, you know, try to teach my kids to mirror away from that very negative pathway.
00:27:43.000 I take blood thinners.
00:27:45.000 Oh, of course.
00:27:46.000 It does.
00:27:48.000 I take metamucil sometimes, but that's not in the same category.
00:27:51.000 It's not prescription.
00:27:53.000 No, not prescription.
00:27:54.000 So I read Wikipedia.
00:27:55.000 I was reading your Wikipedia.
00:27:57.000 I was reading my Wikipedia.
00:27:59.000 Wikipedia.
00:28:01.000 My Wikipedia says.
00:28:03.000 My Wikipedia says that I'm 5'6, and your Wikipedia says that you're 5'7.
00:28:10.000 Somebody's lying.
00:28:11.000 Right.
00:28:12.000 Someone's lying.
00:28:13.000 Well, you know.
00:28:14.000 I take it with a truckload of salt, these Wikipedia people, whoever's behind it in the space.
00:28:18.000 So he's doing Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman there.
00:28:22.000 No, no, no, no, no, that's a different guy.
00:28:23.000 Oh, it's a different person.
00:28:24.000 Remember that guy that went viral for being Tom Cruise?
00:28:27.000 Yeah, that's him.
00:28:28.000 So this is a collaboration.
00:28:30.000 Oh, and that guy doesn't look like Tom Cruise.
00:28:34.000 He might look a little like Tom Cruise, but there's a Tom Cruise filter on that guy's face.
00:28:38.000 I see.
00:28:38.000 Yeah.
00:28:38.000 See, why can't you have a face that good, Ryan?
00:28:41.000 Why is this so much to ask?
00:28:43.000 Like the Dustin Hoffman one.
00:28:44.000 I was about to explain it to you.
00:28:46.000 Okay.
00:28:47.000 So see my camera here?
00:28:49.000 I'd have to directly feed this into the camera.
00:28:51.000 Okay, then pre-recorded or some shit.
00:28:53.000 That's what we were saying before, and then we were looking for the app.
00:28:55.000 But you've never done that.
00:28:56.000 We're looking for the app.
00:28:57.000 You're too busy noodling.
00:28:58.000 I literally showed you the app.
00:29:01.000 So how come he can do it?
00:29:03.000 So can I explain the thing?
00:29:05.000 So this camera is feeding into a computer.
00:29:08.000 He's using a computer.
00:29:09.000 It's this, you can use, probably, there's different ones, but this one's very effective, Snap camera.
00:29:15.000 So the camera that feeds into the computer.
00:29:17.000 But just do it on your desktop.
00:29:19.000 Hold on a second.
00:29:22.000 It can't...
00:29:23.000 I'm not picking up from the tracking.
00:29:24.000 But you record it on your laptop.
00:29:26.000 So now we're pre-recording things.
00:29:27.000 So now I just recorded it.
00:29:28.000 Yeah, that's rocket science.
00:29:30.000 Never heard of that before.
00:29:31.000 So it's not going to be the chime in riff with whatever's going on.
00:29:34.000 Well, not if that's not possible.
00:29:37.000 Figure out a way.
00:29:38.000 See, this is the way you operate.
00:29:40.000 I go, Ryan, go do this thing.
00:29:41.000 You go, and then you hit a wall and you go, oh, can't do it.
00:29:45.000 The end.
00:29:46.000 And then I check in like seven months later and you're like, oh, I bumped into a wall.
00:29:50.000 Not like, okay, can't do it on this computer.
00:29:52.000 I'll do it on a different computer.
00:29:53.000 I'll have to pre-record it.
00:29:55.000 We could pre-record it.
00:29:56.000 Figure out a way.
00:29:57.000 We could pre-record it.
00:29:59.000 But, you know, it transforms from your original idea where I'm chiming in during the show.
00:30:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:03.000 It's called figuring out a solution.
00:30:07.000 You're not a fucking robot.
00:30:09.000 Actually, robots are better.
00:30:11.000 You have a Rhomba.
00:30:12.000 It bumps into something.
00:30:13.000 It moves around.
00:30:14.000 You're like a broken Rhomba who just goes bong, bong, bong, bong.
00:30:20.000 And then people go, why isn't that thing vacuuming?
00:30:22.000 And he goes, well, its assignment was to go that way and it wasn't able to figure out anything else.
00:30:28.000 So you'd like me to bring videos to the show?
00:30:30.000 I can do that.
00:30:32.000 Like, you think I'm going to say no?
00:30:34.000 No.
00:30:35.000 Do not bring cool shit to the show.
00:30:38.000 I hate that.
00:30:39.000 I'll bring cool shit to the show.
00:30:41.000 Yeah.
00:30:43.000 Maybe solve a problem for once in your life.
00:30:47.000 Let's see more, Jeff Daniels.
00:30:50.000 Richardson.
00:30:51.000 Richardson.
00:30:52.000 Not that one.
00:30:55.000 Wait, where are they all?
00:30:59.000 The George Lucas one is fair enough.
00:31:04.000 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
00:31:05.000 I'm Dave, Dave Letterman, and this is the Jeff Richards show.
00:31:10.000 I'm filling in for Jeff.
00:31:11.000 I don't know what camera is.
00:31:13.000 I don't know if he's okay.
00:31:16.000 Be that as it may, we have to get on with the show.
00:31:19.000 And I'm happy to have one of my most favorite entertainers of all time, 1995 to 2009.
00:31:27.000 It's a little Midwest.
00:31:31.000 Hey, how's it going?
00:31:33.000 A little too Canadian, but it's fucking amazing.
00:31:36.000 He's done over 107.
00:31:38.000 And it's confusing because half the time the guy he's talking to is the guy.
00:31:41.000 Like when he's talking to Tracy Morgan and Bill Burr and Daryl Hammond, it is those guys.
00:31:46.000 But when he's talking to George Lucas, it isn't.
00:31:50.000 He does Robert Danny Jr.
00:31:55.000 Dude.
00:31:57.000 Jamie, how you doing, buddy?
00:31:59.000 What's up, man?
00:32:01.000 This is Robert Downey Jr.
00:32:03.000 I don't know if you were told, but Jeff's not going to be here today, and we're supposed to take over the interview.
00:32:09.000 So I don't know if that's cool with you.
00:32:11.000 I could go away or whatever.
00:32:13.000 Dude, I love you, man.
00:32:14.000 Are you kidding me?
00:32:16.000 This is great.
00:32:17.000 This is fantastic.
00:32:19.000 Okay, so here's the deal.
00:32:20.000 I wrote some questions.
00:32:21.000 Some other people wrote some questions.
00:32:23.000 We could do the questions.
00:32:24.000 We could riff maybe a little bit of both.
00:32:26.000 Okay.
00:32:28.000 Do you remember we worked together?
00:32:31.000 We did?
00:32:32.000 Yeah.
00:32:34.000 I remember.
00:32:35.000 What was it?
00:32:36.000 It was in Bofinger.
00:32:38.000 All right, that's enough.
00:32:39.000 Anyway, check him out.
00:32:40.000 Quality entertainment, hours of fun is Louis, not Louis C.K., but Louis or Louis Anderson is fantastic.
00:32:48.000 With Bill Burr on that one.
00:32:50.000 Also, I'm fascinated by this incredibly pretty and dainty-looking Asian woman named Nina Lin, who lives in Chinatown, and she lives near African Americans.
00:33:04.000 And if you grow up with blacks in China, I mean, sorry, in New York City, you become trash.
00:33:11.000 So wait, before you show that, maybe show a different one.
00:33:14.000 I think I had a link after that.
00:33:18.000 Look, look, she talks like Cardi B. She's begging for a Pygmalion situation where Professor Higgins comes in and shows her how to enunciate and how to be a lady because she's fucking trash.
00:33:30.000 Like if your friends saw you with her, they go, oh shit, you hooked up with a hot Asian girl.
00:33:34.000 Then she opens her mouth.
00:33:35.000 I remember this, Biach.
00:33:37.000 Yeah, wasn't she on the back of a garbage truck?
00:33:39.000 Yeah, during a BLM ride or some shit.
00:33:41.000 And she's like, motherfucker, yo.
00:33:44.000 I swear I ain't got no fucking COVID, but like, girl, have you ever had those fucking coughs?
00:33:49.000 Well, like, you...
00:33:53.000 Well, like, you cough?
00:33:54.000 And bitch, you pee yourself like dead ass.
00:33:57.000 It'd be like that.
00:33:59.000 I swear I ain't got no fucking COVID.
00:34:01.000 When you cough, you like, pee yourself, dead ass.
00:34:04.000 Anyway, she snuck into the Met Gala, which is funny.
00:34:12.000 Bitch.
00:34:13.000 The button fucker, man.
00:34:14.000 I'm inside.
00:34:16.000 Wait, is that the beginning?
00:34:19.000 No, go to the beginning.
00:34:20.000 Where she buys, she puts on a suit.
00:34:25.000 Met, bitch.
00:34:26.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:34:26.000 I'm not invited.
00:34:28.000 But it's okay.
00:34:30.000 Because I bought a $300 suit and we finished it.
00:34:33.000 That's not an expensive suit.
00:34:34.000 And dirt, hold up.
00:34:36.000 Peep this hobo fit.
00:34:38.000 Peep this hobo fit.
00:34:39.000 Y'all about to see me get lady, bitch.
00:34:42.000 Stop playing.
00:34:42.000 Don't worry, though.
00:34:43.000 Right after I'm returning, so you gotta worry about that.
00:34:45.000 Pup.
00:34:46.000 She, stop playing with me.
00:34:47.000 When was the last time I wore a motherfucking suit?
00:34:50.000 Motherfucking.
00:34:54.000 She a lawyer.
00:34:56.000 Must go.
00:34:57.000 Shit.
00:34:58.000 Please the fifth, bitch, hurt.
00:35:01.000 Last time I wore a mother.
00:35:04.000 Guys, put the little idea here.
00:35:06.000 We legit.
00:35:08.000 Oh, we legit.
00:35:10.000 Let's go.
00:35:10.000 Don't get me started on the fake ice.
00:35:12.000 Ah, this shit real though.
00:35:14.000 Don't be afraid.
00:35:14.000 Okay, then jump ahead.
00:35:17.000 These ones are left.
00:35:18.000 Way ahead.
00:35:20.000 So I guess she sort of went by the hedge and just sort of oozed in.
00:35:26.000 I was like, my energy patch, I had to send her a lens.
00:35:28.000 Let's take care of the ocean.
00:35:32.000 Wow, she's actually in.
00:35:34.000 Never mind.
00:35:34.000 I'm not sweating Volcex anymore.
00:35:45.000 GQ and Instagram, I ain't sorry for screaming your videos because bitch.
00:35:49.000 I'm not the med every damn day.
00:35:51.000 Fuck.
00:35:52.000 Who is she?
00:35:53.000 Who are they?
00:36:03.000 Hey.
00:36:05.000 You're cool.
00:36:07.000 Does she leave her highlight around like that?
00:36:09.000 I don't know what's going on.
00:36:10.000 It's like glare.
00:36:12.000 It goes away at certain angles.
00:36:14.000 It's contouring.
00:36:15.000 Is it like silver?
00:36:16.000 I think it's silver makeup.
00:36:18.000 Could be silver makeup, but I know bitches be contouring their face like that, too.
00:36:21.000 Yes, we're aware of contouring.
00:36:22.000 But she didn't blend in her highlights.
00:36:26.000 No, I don't think it's that simple.
00:36:28.000 It's some sort of glare.
00:36:33.000 So at some point, she has to get past the hedges.
00:36:39.000 He's a runner.
00:36:40.000 He's a textbook.
00:36:46.000 She made a YouTube video.
00:36:47.000 She's a TikToker.
00:36:48.000 She made a YouTube video just for this.
00:36:55.000 Okay, that's her sneaking in, I think.
00:37:02.000 All right, that's enough.
00:37:07.000 Let's start the show.
00:37:08.000 Enough fluff.
00:37:11.000 Insanity on college campus.
00:37:13.000 This is a viral video going around.
00:37:15.000 A guy has a Police Lives Matter sign on his laptop, which is racist.
00:37:22.000 And they say, you're invading our space.
00:37:25.000 This is white culture doesn't belong here.
00:37:27.000 There's no such thing as white culture.
00:37:29.000 Universities are white culture.
00:37:31.000 I'm sorry.
00:37:33.000 Yes, the Indians used to have secondary education.
00:37:36.000 That doesn't really follow the university structure that we still mimic today.
00:37:41.000 That goes back to, obviously, Europe.
00:37:44.000 After the fall of the Roman Empire, the Catholic Church had to rebuild society, and with that became a bunch of rules and laws, and they needed experts to run the society.
00:37:56.000 So they set up universities.
00:37:59.000 There was Paris, there was Oxford, there was Bologna.
00:38:05.000 Bologna, I believe it's pronounced.
00:38:08.000 And there was, of course, Glasgow University, which was the first to say, thank you, church, for setting these up, but we're on our own now.
00:38:15.000 We want to separate church and state, which is really the fundamentals of Western society, which is why Arthur Herman says that the Scots invented the modern world because they were the first to separate church and state.
00:38:27.000 Anyway, that's what they sh well, hold on.
00:38:32.000 I was going to say, that's what they should have said, but should they have said this?
00:38:35.000 They know they're going viral, right?
00:38:37.000 They know these women are going to come across as assholes.
00:38:40.000 Maybe it is smarter to play dumb and just be like, what?
00:38:43.000 What?
00:38:44.000 And let them hang themselves.
00:38:46.000 Because now the school is getting harassed by normal people saying, why are you harassing?
00:38:51.000 Why is it okay to harass these kids?
00:38:53.000 So maybe playing possum was kind of a good move here.
00:39:01.000 What did I do wrong?
00:39:02.000 You have a bad.
00:39:03.000 You're offensive.
00:39:05.000 Police Lives Matter?
00:39:07.000 You have the same sticker.
00:39:08.000 We're just trying to do school.
00:39:10.000 What?
00:39:10.000 You guys have the same sticker of the other.
00:39:13.000 But this is our space.
00:39:15.000 We've got a police lives matter sticker and we're getting kicked out.
00:39:18.000 Can't do school.
00:39:19.000 Nobody's kicking school.
00:39:21.000 You just said we have to leave.
00:39:22.000 No, I said you're making the space uncomfortable.
00:39:26.000 But you're white.
00:39:27.000 Do you understand what a multicultural space?
00:39:30.000 It means you're not being centered.
00:39:31.000 It's not a culture.
00:39:32.000 No.
00:39:32.000 Stop.
00:39:35.000 So they're both uncomfortable.
00:39:37.000 He said, you're making me uncomfortable.
00:39:39.000 But you're white.
00:39:41.000 So whites cannot feel uncomfortable, meaning they're not capable.
00:39:46.000 It's not a relevant emotion.
00:39:48.000 But if blacks feel uncomfortable anywhere, people of color, so it could be Lebanese, Polynesian, some fucking Polynesian aristocrat who had her ass wiped her whole life.
00:39:59.000 If she shows up and sees like a guy who likes cops.
00:40:05.000 You're in a white institution.
00:40:07.000 She just said there's no such thing as white culture.
00:40:10.000 Your phone was made by white men.
00:40:12.000 You're in a European institution.
00:40:15.000 You're speaking a European language.
00:40:18.000 You're welcome.
00:40:21.000 White is not a culture.
00:40:22.000 Say it again to the camera.
00:40:24.000 You think whiteness is a culture?
00:40:26.000 This is insane.
00:40:27.000 So anyways, this is the violence that ASU does, and this is the type of people that they protect.
00:40:32.000 Okay?
00:40:33.000 This white man thinks he can take up our space and this is why we need a multicultural space because they think they can get away with this shit.
00:40:40.000 I'm going to sit here the whole time and you can find somebody to keep it down.
00:40:43.000 That's cool.
00:40:44.000 We will.
00:40:45.000 We're asking you to leave if you have any consideration for people of color and emotionalization.
00:40:52.000 Yeah.
00:40:53.000 The whole rest of the campus.
00:40:55.000 The second floor, the first floor, the whole MU.
00:40:58.000 Every single part of the campus centers you.
00:41:00.000 This is the only space that you're not centered and you're still trying to center yourself, which is peak white cis male bullshit.
00:41:07.000 What is that section?
00:41:11.000 You are racist.
00:41:11.000 Your sticker is racist because police, that's a job.
00:41:15.000 You can choose to be a police.
00:41:17.000 I don't choose to be black.
00:41:20.000 Wait, wait, stop.
00:41:21.000 Help me out here.
00:41:23.000 I didn't choose to be black.
00:41:26.000 So it's a given that blacks are killed by cops.
00:41:30.000 And she's also saying, yes, I know cops get killed, but cops signed up for that.
00:41:36.000 So they're not allowed to complain.
00:41:38.000 Because cops entered, it's sort of like signing up for a war.
00:41:42.000 So soldiers die in war, but that's just the way it is.
00:41:47.000 Innocent Cambodian civilians getting firebombed, they didn't sign up.
00:41:52.000 I mean, I'm just trying to understand her logic here.
00:41:54.000 I think that's what she's going for.
00:41:56.000 But the problem is that blacks are not being killed by cops.
00:42:01.000 And cops are getting killed by blacks.
00:42:04.000 And no, you don't sign up to die when you sign up to be a cop.
00:42:09.000 No one signs up to die.
00:42:11.000 Fucking Green Berets, they don't want to die.
00:42:14.000 The only people who sign up to die are jihadists.
00:42:18.000 Wrong culture, lady.
00:42:20.000 So it's at this point where I kind of wished, and this is naive of me, I kind of wished he had said, who do you think invented your phone, this table, this backpack, this shirt?
00:42:30.000 Who do you think developed your hair products?
00:42:33.000 Who do you think designed your shoes?
00:42:35.000 Do you want to go through it all?
00:42:36.000 Do you want to go through the architecture of this building?
00:42:39.000 The carpeting?
00:42:40.000 The fibers?
00:42:41.000 Do you want to talk about who developed the fibers for this carpet?
00:42:44.000 The vacuums that clean it?
00:42:45.000 The steam cleaner that cleans it?
00:42:47.000 Steam cleaning in general?
00:42:49.000 Should we go through all of this right now?
00:42:51.000 If they did that, that would be racist.
00:42:54.000 Oh my God, Ryan did his job for once.
00:42:57.000 Hey.
00:42:58.000 Kirp.
00:43:00.000 It's got to work out.
00:43:03.000 Why is Kirp in the show now?
00:43:04.000 I don't know.
00:43:06.000 Oh, my God.
00:43:07.000 Ryan's accomplished something, folks.
00:43:10.000 This is our Juneteenth.
00:43:12.000 This is a special Juneteenth.
00:43:14.000 What is this?
00:43:15.000 It's September 24th.
00:43:17.000 This is our Septorth.
00:43:19.000 The day of our Lord.
00:43:21.000 Septorth, the day Ryan accomplished something.
00:43:24.000 Hey.
00:43:25.000 Let me get an O. O. Is that what he does?
00:43:29.000 No, time for a yo.
00:43:31.000 Time for a yo.
00:43:35.000 Okay.
00:43:35.000 Thank you for doing it.
00:43:38.000 But didn't you just spend the first part of this entire show explaining why that's impossible?
00:43:42.000 What I did was I figured it out in my bed.
00:43:44.000 I was like, how do I get this camera?
00:43:45.000 I'm Skyping myself.
00:43:46.000 I'm Skyping the other computer.
00:43:48.000 So it's not sustainable, but it's not.
00:43:51.000 It's not sustainable.
00:43:52.000 Why?
00:43:52.000 What's going to happen?
00:43:54.000 Oh, never mind.
00:43:56.000 I'm just worried about the audio.
00:44:00.000 The audio.
00:44:00.000 It's feeding.
00:44:01.000 The audio is going to die?
00:44:03.000 I got them both muted, but...
00:44:04.000 Yeah, I think everything's sustained.
00:44:06.000 But it's not sustainable?
00:44:07.000 I don't think it's sustainable.
00:44:08.000 Why don't you and Ryan from 10 minutes ago argue amongst yourselves?
00:44:13.000 Because it's getting a little pedantic constantly explaining shit to you.
00:44:18.000 I think there's a better way, is what I'm saying.
00:44:21.000 You always need the last word, and it's always stupid.
00:44:25.000 Go ahead.
00:44:26.000 No, you can choose to be a cop.
00:44:28.000 You can choose to kill people with a badge, and you're protecting that shit, which means that you're racist.
00:44:39.000 I know, I know, but this offends us automatically because these people kill people like me and like us, right?
00:44:45.000 So you're promoting our murderers.
00:44:46.000 So please just don't.
00:44:47.000 You're promoting our murderers.
00:44:49.000 To say Police Lives Matter...
00:44:51.000 Wait, wait, go back, go back.
00:44:52.000 I want to hear this.
00:44:53.000 So to say Police Lives Matter promotes those two girls' murders.
00:44:58.000 Can I see what you two ladies are taking in class, please?
00:45:01.000 Can I read your last essay?
00:45:03.000 And if I remove every essay in every class where it's not you whining about white hegemony and oppression, is there anything left?
00:45:12.000 Is there any of your education that's not bitching?
00:45:15.000 I don't think so.
00:45:17.000 I don't think there's one like geography class where you're learning about Central America and the difference between Honduras and Guatemala.
00:45:27.000 There's none of that.
00:45:28.000 There's no, not One minute of valid education in her entire academic career, is my guess.
00:45:35.000 Not a minute.
00:45:36.000 She's not learning one salient thing her entire $250,000 career.
00:45:42.000 But I think that guy might be speaking up for them.
00:45:45.000 Asian guy, yeah, yeah.
00:45:47.000 He's going to say something controversial like police don't deserve to die.
00:45:51.000 People are murderers.
00:45:52.000 So please just learn.
00:45:56.000 People are murderers.
00:45:58.000 So please just don't use that sticker.
00:45:59.000 Bethany negative.
00:46:02.000 Thank you.
00:46:02.000 Thank you.
00:46:03.000 So why should that bother you?
00:46:05.000 Because do you understand that Police Lives Matter was in response to Black Lives Matter?
00:46:14.000 Yeah, that's fine.
00:46:15.000 And you have everywhere.
00:46:17.000 I'm working 60 hours a week while going to school because my parents don't just give me money.
00:46:21.000 It doesn't matter.
00:46:22.000 Okay, it doesn't matter.
00:46:23.000 What's that got to do with anything?
00:46:25.000 Because they think he's entitled or some shit.
00:46:27.000 Probably.
00:46:28.000 Oh, I think.
00:46:28.000 They assume a racist assumption.
00:46:30.000 But what I don't like is that he finally got the courage to stand up after the Asian guy came up.
00:46:37.000 If you're alone, you can still stand up for yourself.
00:46:40.000 I mean, yo.
00:46:43.000 See how well this is working out?
00:46:45.000 Don't you feel stupid for making shitty, retarded excuses for the first 10 minutes of the show?
00:46:50.000 I'm happy that I figured it out.
00:46:52.000 Yes.
00:46:53.000 The man can't learn.
00:46:54.000 He's never wrong.
00:46:56.000 Do this.
00:46:56.000 It can't be done.
00:46:57.000 It does it.
00:46:58.000 I'm happy I figured it out.
00:47:00.000 I did say I just got it and I have to figure this out.
00:47:03.000 Oh, you very.
00:47:05.000 All right.
00:47:06.000 I think that's going to bring us to the green screen.
00:47:12.000 Because the big topic with me and Kangaroo this week has been the whole missing white woman.
00:47:18.000 And I think it's time we showed you guys that there's a missing murdered woman.
00:47:26.000 And the media never talks about it.
00:47:28.000 And I think I know why.
00:47:49.000 So the hypothesis of the Joyanne Reeds of the world is that we see black, missing black women and we go, eh, yuck, they probably deserve to die.
00:48:02.000 And then we see a white woman and we go, oh no.
00:48:04.000 Dude, you're not paying attention to the cases.
00:48:07.000 Lacey Peterson was a very intense case.
00:48:10.000 If you had a normal, functioning, happy black family wherein the black woman was pregnant and she was about to give birth and then on Christmas Eve, her black middle-class husband went fishing as she vanished.
00:48:32.000 And then we were wondering if she was chopped up in Tupperware in the bay.
00:48:38.000 That would be a huge fucking story.
00:48:41.000 And if a black couple were vlogging their travels and the black girl vanished, it would probably be bigger than Gabby Petito because people love that kind of shit.
00:48:53.000 Joy Reed, of course, disagrees and says that we ignore dead blacks all the time, which got me thinking, we ignore dead whites all the time and have been doing so since the early 90s.
00:49:06.000 No, since before that.
00:49:08.000 They're doing some construction next door.
00:49:10.000 I hope you don't have to hear it.
00:49:12.000 It's very annoying and loud.
00:49:16.000 So I want to give you about how many women do I have here, people?
00:49:20.000 I've got 15.
00:49:22.000 15 brutal murders of whites that didn't garner any kind of rioting, didn't garner any George Floydness.
00:49:29.000 The first one that's not on this list, just to get things rolling, is, and I want you to notice when I'm doing this, how unfamiliar the names are.
00:49:39.000 Who's Trisha Melly?
00:49:42.000 Trisha Melly was the woman who I kind of want to put her on a murdered list because it is an absolute biblical miracle that she survived.
00:49:56.000 She was gang raped by five men.
00:49:58.000 Plenty of evidence.
00:49:59.000 The only evidence that it didn't happen is some asshole said, no, I did it.
00:50:04.000 Who was already, I think, on death row, an absolute fucking lunatic Hispanic guy, who may well have also raped her.
00:50:11.000 This was a free-for-all, while and out, kids were doing all the time.
00:50:14.000 Of course, in the Netflix show, The Way They See Us, or whatever it's called, they are wearing sweater vests and little polos, and they're, I think they're on their way to violin lessons.
00:50:27.000 Where is Trisha Melly, the Central Park jogger, now?
00:50:30.000 So I mentioned this earlier.
00:50:34.000 She does seminars on surviving brain injuries, and it must fucking murder her again to turn on MSNBC and see these assholes who have made millions of dollars in wrongful conviction suits.
00:50:52.000 What?
00:50:54.000 Be called the exonerated five.
00:50:58.000 But that's not the link I put, is it, Ryan?
00:51:02.000 Yeah, Distractify.
00:51:04.000 Pull her up.
00:51:06.000 What are you doing?
00:51:06.000 Why did you find a different article?
00:51:09.000 Vox?
00:51:09.000 We don't use Vox.
00:51:11.000 There she is, beautiful woman, very intelligent, and now she does medical seminars to talk about her fucking mashed in brains and how she managed to get them working again.
00:51:25.000 She's a living test subject.
00:51:27.000 She's a medical miracle to this day.
00:51:30.000 Now, this happened back in the 80s.
00:51:32.000 How come no one ever talks about her?
00:51:34.000 When they talk about the exonerated five, they always ignore her.
00:51:36.000 It's like the 9-11 Truthers.
00:51:38.000 Their Achilles heel is a family of some of the victims.
00:51:41.000 That's when they get all nervous.
00:51:47.000 Okay, so let's start with this couple.
00:51:50.000 And you should always bring up this couple when people talk about white privilege and crime and how white victims are the ultimate victims and they get All this attention when black victims never get anything.
00:52:03.000 One and two, Channon Christensen and Christopher Newsom.
00:52:08.000 This is out in Kansas City, I believe.
00:52:10.000 Maybe it was Knoxville, Tennessee, somewhere down south.
00:52:14.000 These two were hunted for sport.
00:52:17.000 They were seen as perfect victims.
00:52:19.000 Now, the way the media and BLM, whatever, those two girls we just saw in the college, the way they would portray this is a crime.
00:52:26.000 There was a crime, two people were attacked.
00:52:28.000 No.
00:52:28.000 This was a hate crime.
00:52:30.000 They went out hunting for white people.
00:52:32.000 They saw this beautiful young couple and they said, let's steal them.
00:52:38.000 Just like a safari hunt.
00:52:40.000 And they stole them.
00:52:42.000 They took them back to the place they were staying at.
00:52:45.000 There was about five black people.
00:52:47.000 I think there was two females and three males.
00:52:51.000 Maybe dig that up, Brian.
00:52:53.000 And they proceeded to torture them for days.
00:52:57.000 Kick the shit out of them.
00:52:59.000 Rape them.
00:53:00.000 They raped the woman to death.
00:53:03.000 And then they also raped the man.
00:53:05.000 They raped him after robbing him.
00:53:07.000 And they were laughing and drinking and doing crack and having a gay old time.
00:53:12.000 And just torturing them.
00:53:13.000 Like, you know how I criticize Arabs and I say they'll cut off a dog's ears and then watch the dog whimper and then laugh at it?
00:53:21.000 This is the way they were treating that couple.
00:53:23.000 Kicking them, shoving them, stabbing them, cutting them, torturing them.
00:53:29.000 Sub-animal.
00:53:30.000 This is lower than animals.
00:53:32.000 You don't see animals treating other animals like this.
00:53:35.000 Animals tend to just sort of eat.
00:53:36.000 If it's prey, they get the food, whatever, and then they leave.
00:53:40.000 This was days of torture.
00:53:42.000 So what they did with him is they sodomized him with a pole, ripped his anus to shreds.
00:53:48.000 He's got internal bleeding, right?
00:53:50.000 They beat him more.
00:53:51.000 They shoot him several times.
00:53:53.000 They shoot him.
00:53:54.000 They drag him out to the train tracks and they shoot him in the back of the head.
00:53:59.000 Now with her, they keep her alive and they keep raping her.
00:54:07.000 They torture her.
00:54:08.000 They got a white woman here.
00:54:09.000 They're laughing.
00:54:10.000 They're enjoying it.
00:54:10.000 In all the cases that I'm showing you today, these people were laughing and talking about how we caught a white.
00:54:16.000 We caught a white woman.
00:54:17.000 And in most cases, they went out planning to go and get whites and get good at getting whites, if you will.
00:54:25.000 This was the plan.
00:54:26.000 This is not a robbery gone wrong.
00:54:28.000 This is not a drug deal where someone accidentally shot someone.
00:54:33.000 This is a planned racial attack that the media ignored.
00:54:39.000 And spoiler alert, the given, I think, with most people who look this up is that they didn't want to expose this because the crimes are so horrific that it would lead to racial strife and racial tension and black murder and stuff like that.
00:54:53.000 I even have a dad later on begging people to calm down, Missy McLaughlin's father.
00:54:59.000 But I don't think it's that.
00:55:01.000 I believe the reason the media ignores this is much simpler.
00:55:06.000 I believe they ignore it because it's too graphic, it's too disgusting, it's too scary.
00:55:13.000 And they know that couples and families are watching the news sometimes at dinner time, and they don't want to make people puke.
00:55:20.000 So my personal theory is the reason you don't hear about the sadism, the fucking cruelty, the mind-blowing evil behind black-on-white hate crimes is that whites simply can't stomach it.
00:55:37.000 Well, we can stomach it.
00:55:38.000 So let's get stomaching.
00:55:40.000 Anyway, they put Shannon, she's got a strange spelling, it's like Shannon with the C. They put Shannon in the shower, they forced her, she's still alive, to scrub herself, wash her vagina with bleach.
00:55:50.000 They're trying to get all their DNA off of her.
00:55:52.000 They make her put bleach up her vagina.
00:55:55.000 Then they take her out, they pour bleach down her throat, they light her on fire, and she burns alive.
00:56:04.000 Then they try to get a hold of the bodies, and they're not successful.
00:56:08.000 They are caught.
00:56:10.000 Here's another one that's very recent.
00:56:14.000 Justine Damond.
00:56:15.000 We talked about her the other day.
00:56:17.000 Why have we not heard anything about Justine Damond?
00:56:20.000 George Floyd's perpetrator, the man who is blamed for killing him, again, George had fatal doses of fentanyl.
00:56:31.000 George was a career criminal.
00:56:33.000 The cop who was there when he OD'd and had his knee on his back, what, is in prison for 20 years.
00:56:41.000 You know, he has to represent himself in his appeal because no lawyer will go near him.
00:56:46.000 Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gine, Charles Manson, they all had lawyers.
00:56:52.000 Derek Chauvin cannot even get a public defender to take the case.
00:56:57.000 That's got to be illegal, isn't it?
00:56:59.000 So he's representing himself in his appeal, and he should appeal.
00:57:03.000 20 years in prison is fucking insane for that.
00:57:06.000 And you know he's going to get attacked in prison.
00:57:09.000 Anyway, Somalian affirmative action hire shows up in Minnesota.
00:57:12.000 She calls the police.
00:57:14.000 She hears something scary going on.
00:57:16.000 She shows up.
00:57:16.000 Oh, thank God she's Australian.
00:57:18.000 Thank God you hear.
00:57:21.000 Shoots her, I believe from his car, because he was so scared of a person showing up.
00:57:27.000 She's dead.
00:57:28.000 That's murder.
00:57:30.000 That's a level of incompetence that equals murder.
00:57:37.000 Here's another case that brings us to 4, 5, 6, and 7.
00:57:43.000 Eight.
00:57:47.000 This was the Long Island Railroad.
00:57:49.000 Victim's family still mourning 20 years after the Long Island Railroad massacre.
00:57:52.000 Did that appear on your radar?
00:57:54.000 Do you remember this?
00:57:56.000 Have you ever heard of any of these names?
00:57:58.000 Amy Federici, James Gorkik, Gori, Goricki, James Goricki, Maria Teresa Tumagon Magato, that sounds kind of Filipina.
00:58:12.000 Dennis McCarthy, oh, you've got all their names.
00:58:17.000 Richard Nettleton.
00:58:20.000 And then Mai Kyung Kim.
00:58:22.000 So this guy hates whites.
00:58:25.000 He went out on the Long Island Railroad and started shooting everyone in the car, murdering them All execution style, one by one.
00:58:31.000 He made it very clear he was going out to kill whites.
00:58:34.000 Now, Asians are part of this for some reason.
00:58:37.000 If you hate whites, you hate Asians too.
00:58:40.000 I don't quite understand the logic, but that's the way it works.
00:58:43.000 All of these people were murdered because they were white.
00:58:46.000 This man, this Jamaican man, what's his name?
00:58:51.000 Pick up his name right?
00:58:52.000 It should be in the...
00:58:53.000 Tolin Ferguson?
00:58:54.000 Tom Ferguson.
00:58:55.000 Colin, yeah, that's it.
00:58:56.000 Colin Ferguson clearly said, I hate white people.
00:59:00.000 I've been watching, I don't know, videos about Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
00:59:05.000 I want revenge.
00:59:06.000 And he went out and he got revenge on white people.
00:59:09.000 No riots, no parades, no memories, no t-shirts, no statues, no nothing.
00:59:16.000 Just a bunch of people murdered for their skin color.
00:59:20.000 One of them murdered because she's sitting near whites.
00:59:23.000 Actually, two of them, I guess two Asian women, were murdered because they were near whites and white people deserved to die.
00:59:31.000 No, that's a different woman, Ryan.
00:59:36.000 Okay, we're up to nine now.
00:59:38.000 And this is, again, a random sampling.
00:59:40.000 If you want me to get into the real numbers, it's hundreds of thousands.
00:59:44.000 But here's nine I've chose you that are way more worthy of any attention than George Floyd and got maybe a hundredth, a fraction of one percent of the attention.
00:59:55.000 Missy McLaughlin is one of the most disturbing ones.
00:59:59.000 So she gets in a fight with her boyfriend.
01:00:01.000 She's walking home.
01:00:03.000 A bunch of guys pick her up.
01:00:05.000 Black dudes pick her up in the car.
01:00:06.000 Now these black dudes, it was male and female, right?
01:00:10.000 And they've been partying all day and watching a lot of porn, watching a lot of black guys fuck white women.
01:00:17.000 And they're like, I fuck, the women are like, I fucking hate white women.
01:00:21.000 They make me sick.
01:00:21.000 And the blacks are like, I hate them too, but I want to fuck one.
01:00:24.000 And they go, why don't we fuck one and then kill it?
01:00:27.000 Okay.
01:00:28.000 So they're driving around late at night.
01:00:30.000 They find her walking home.
01:00:31.000 And by the way, the moral of the story here is if you get in a fight with your girlfriend when she's drunk, do not let her walk home alone.
01:00:37.000 No matter how bad the fight is.
01:00:40.000 So they pick her up.
01:00:44.000 They gang raped and tortured her.
01:00:46.000 Then they invited two more black males to join in the gang rape, telling them, we captured a white woman.
01:00:52.000 Two of the rapists' black girlfriends even watched and cheered them on.
01:00:58.000 Her body was found on the side of the highway, shot five times.
01:01:02.000 A note containing anti-white racial slurs was attached to the body, just so there's no doubts about why this woman was raped and beaten to death.
01:01:13.000 Four of the black men were quickly arrested, and they told the police the savage crime was payback for racial oppression.
01:01:22.000 They claimed ringleader Gardner told them, my New Year's resolution is to kill a white bitch.
01:01:30.000 They shot her in the face five fucking times so she wouldn't be recognized.
01:01:36.000 And she lived.
01:01:38.000 Can you imagine the gargling mess that was her face when she was discovered?
01:01:43.000 The person who discovered her called an ambulance.
01:01:45.000 By the time the ambulance got there, which wasn't long, she had bled out.
01:01:48.000 She was dead.
01:01:50.000 Face ripped to shreds, five point-blank bullet shots to the head.
01:01:57.000 And the father, of course, urged racial calm.
01:02:00.000 Please don't get revenge.
01:02:03.000 Do you have that link right after the bottom there?
01:02:06.000 Please don't start riots.
01:02:10.000 Father of victim urges racial calm.
01:02:12.000 Now that's the obvious takeaway is that we hide these stories because we don't want racial tension.
01:02:17.000 I don't think it is.
01:02:19.000 I think it's too disgusting.
01:02:21.000 I mean, aren't you uncomfortable right now picturing that woman's gargling face with five bullet wounds in it?
01:02:27.000 I am.
01:02:28.000 I don't feel like going out and punching a black kid in the face, but I am disgusted.
01:02:32.000 And I'm disgusted by Joy Reed and all this bullshit about how we live in a racist society where a sticker on a kid's laptop makes people feel unsafe.
01:02:42.000 This makes people feel unsafe because they are.
01:02:47.000 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, Brad Heike, Heather Mueller, Aaron Sander, Jason Bieford, and a woman who I think was below, she wasn't of age, so she's just called Holly G. And this is,
01:03:03.000 of course, the Wichita Massacre, pretty similar to the Shannon Christian and Christopher Newsom thing, where they kidnapped two couples, sorry, five people.
01:03:17.000 So three men and two women.
01:03:21.000 They kidnapped them and they raped these women over the course of several hours while the men were tied up and held at gunpoint.
01:03:32.000 Actually, I think they were free to go after a while, like not tied up.
01:03:36.000 So one wonders why.
01:03:37.000 Oh, it was three guys and one woman, sorry.
01:03:40.000 So they repeatedly raped this.
01:03:42.000 There was one more not shown.
01:03:44.000 Oh, yeah, sorry, that's it.
01:03:45.000 Holly G, I believe.
01:03:46.000 Holly G isn't shown.
01:03:48.000 So the two women were raped repeatedly while these guys were held at gunpoint.
01:03:52.000 Like, I don't want to criticize the dead.
01:03:54.000 I wasn't there, but could you not have bum-rushed the show?
01:03:57.000 Even if one of you died?
01:03:59.000 So they attacked...
01:04:00.000 Wait, is this the guy?
01:04:02.000 No, this is where you got a drop of the position.
01:04:04.000 Oh.
01:04:06.000 So the Carr brothers had made it very clear they hate white people and wanted to punish them.
01:04:10.000 And they found these people.
01:04:12.000 They raped the women repeatedly.
01:04:14.000 And then at gunpoint, they took all five of them around to various ATMs to empty their bank accounts.
01:04:21.000 They got their money and then they murdered them because they were white.
01:04:26.000 The Carr brothers talked about their plan to kidnap, torture, and rob and rape white people.
01:04:32.000 They accomplished this goal.
01:04:35.000 Why don't we ever hear about the Carr brothers?
01:04:37.000 Why has no one, including me, ever seen these names before?
01:04:42.000 All right, number 15, Tessa Majors.
01:04:46.000 Where's the riots?
01:04:47.000 She's here in New York City going to Columbia.
01:04:50.000 She goes to buy weed, which is dumb.
01:04:54.000 She doesn't have much street smarts.
01:04:56.000 I wish her parents had instilled in her the dangers of going to a Random park.
01:05:00.000 This park in New York is famous for street crime and gangs and rape.
01:05:05.000 And she went in there and she was shot dead while trying to buy weed.
01:05:12.000 She will have no future.
01:05:14.000 There's no riots for her, no statues, no laws.
01:05:18.000 I can't remember what's happening to the perps, but it's no 20 years in prison like Derek Chauvin.
01:05:25.000 So anyway, we could go on and on for hours at this, but the point is that this missing white woman bullshit is incredibly insulting because the white-controlled media purposely throws stories like this under the rug because we can't stomach the brutal sadism of black-on-white hate crimes.
01:05:56.000 I mean, it's ironic that I'm talking about how this isn't reported because it's a bummer, and now I feel bad reporting it because it's a bummer.
01:06:03.000 But suffice to say, the next time someone talks about how hard it is for black people, you should go, the level of sadism in black-on-white hate crimes is so harsh that you don't know about most of those cases because the news is too scared to make you puke reporting on it.
01:06:24.000 And then I think if they say, give me an example, the best one is always Channel Christian and Christopher Newsom.
01:06:31.000 I think they call it like the Tennessee massacre or something.
01:06:37.000 Pull that up.
01:06:39.000 Because we have to learn something from this and there has to be a trick.
01:06:43.000 I mean, Cernovich has that clip in his movie.
01:06:48.000 I forget the name of the movie.
01:06:49.000 Was it called Censored?
01:06:51.000 No.
01:06:53.000 And he shows on his phone that massacre that happened where the black guy shot up the white church and no one had heard of it.
01:07:05.000 Yeah, this is the guy trying to put it on everyone else.
01:07:08.000 But look up those two names, Channon and Christopher Newsom, and see if there's a name for that particular massacre like on Wikipedia or something.
01:07:17.000 It's one of the most wildly underreported cases in American history, and it's also one of the most disgusting.
01:07:24.000 If a group of fucking rednecks kidnapped a cute young black couple, I mean, it's unfathomable.
01:07:34.000 Beat them and rape them and laughing, say, we caught some niggers.
01:07:37.000 We're raping them right now.
01:07:39.000 Shot them, murdered the boy execution style.
01:07:42.000 Can you imagine?
01:07:45.000 Dude, it would be like a National Day of Reckoning.
01:07:50.000 The Knoxville horror, I guess.
01:07:53.000 Torture slings is another one.
01:07:56.000 The most common one, murders of Channon Christian and Christopher.
01:08:00.000 And then people go, you said it's not reported on.
01:08:02.000 I looked it up.
01:08:02.000 It's everywhere.
01:08:03.000 Oh, really?
01:08:04.000 Those are all Knoxville local news stations.
01:08:10.000 All right.
01:08:11.000 That's kind of intense and heavy.
01:08:14.000 And negative Nelly.
01:08:16.000 Let's try to lighten things up a little bit, shall we?
01:08:20.000 Yes.
01:08:21.000 Here's a fun thing.
01:08:25.000 Did you know that at the border, they're tossing all their ID away?
01:08:29.000 They throw away...
01:08:30.000 The reason Haitian migrants discard their Chilean and Brazilian ID cards over here on the Mexico side is to obscure from asylum viewers, reviewers, that they were already safely and prosperously situated for years and years before coming in for the American upgrade.
01:08:48.000 It's all a scam.
01:08:51.000 What a joke.
01:08:56.000 All right, I want to talk about how much I hate pit bulls, but we always lose subscribers when I bitch about dogs.
01:09:03.000 And we have a lot of pit bull owners who say there's no bad dogs.
01:09:09.000 It's just the owners.
01:09:11.000 Maybe we won't do this today.
01:09:13.000 Yeah, let's save that for Monday.
01:09:16.000 I've had enough negative talk.
01:09:18.000 Let's see if the letters page can cheer us up.
01:09:20.000 As long as you don't talk about tigers.
01:09:23.000 I'm the tiger tape.
01:09:26.000 Yeah, well, tigers are probably a stupid pet to have also.
01:09:29.000 No, they're not stupid.
01:09:30.000 They're exotic.
01:09:31.000 They're sexy.
01:09:32.000 When you get near a tiger, like some feeling is sexy.
01:09:36.000 Tigers are sexy?
01:09:37.000 Yeah.
01:09:38.000 Doesn't sexy imply sex?
01:09:40.000 Do you fuck tigers?
01:09:41.000 No, but you lay next to them, you feed them, you pit him, and you fuck Carol goddamn Baskins.
01:09:48.000 Oh, not Carol Baskins again, dude.
01:09:50.000 He's literally the worst, you know?
01:09:52.000 I'm rotting in jail.
01:09:54.000 She's over there.
01:09:54.000 What do you think she's doing?
01:09:55.000 Crocheting?
01:09:57.000 She's not about this life.
01:09:59.000 The tiger life.
01:10:01.000 If she was, she'd be the tiger queen.
01:10:04.000 We could make love.
01:10:05.000 She is the tiger queen, isn't she?
01:10:06.000 No.
01:10:10.000 He doesn't have time for that.
01:10:11.000 The tiger king.
01:10:14.000 Neilbeck?
01:10:15.000 Yeah.
01:10:16.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
01:10:21.000 Let's turn the grace against me.
01:10:27.000 Let me touch it.
01:10:32.000 I don't have anything since yesterday.
01:10:37.000 What?
01:10:39.000 What's going on, dude?
01:10:41.000 Wait, that's crazy.
01:10:44.000 What?
01:10:44.000 That's crazy.
01:10:46.000 Oh, I got one from 301.
01:10:47.000 Oh, you might have to do a little.
01:10:49.000 I think my McPuter needs to update.
01:10:54.000 My kids called it a McPuter, which is why I do such a thing.
01:10:57.000 You know what I was talking about at the gym today with the guy, working-class dude, fireman?
01:11:02.000 I'm upper-middle-class, so we have different, we live in different areas, but we're the same guy.
01:11:10.000 But he has a kid.
01:11:12.000 His kids are my kids' ages exactly.
01:11:13.000 And I go, once my youngest boy turned 12, well, both my older kids, when they turned 12, they started to suss out their own social lives.
01:11:21.000 By adolescence, they're doing it.
01:11:24.000 And I don't tell them what to do.
01:11:26.000 They ask me if I can pick them up or drop them off and stuff, but they handle their own social life.
01:11:30.000 But with my eight-year-old, I got to set up play dates.
01:11:35.000 And it's not easy because I'm a Nazi.
01:11:37.000 But he has trouble too because he's a single dad.
01:11:40.000 And it's weird to call up a woman and be like, hello, can my son come over to your house?
01:11:46.000 Like, what if the dad answers and you're the single dad going, hello, can I have a play date?
01:11:51.000 It's not really a man's job.
01:11:52.000 It's creepy, really, to call a married woman and say, can I come over with my kid?
01:11:58.000 And then we were like, well, when did we start tooling around?
01:12:02.000 And I'm going to say in the 70s in the suburbs.
01:12:07.000 Seven?
01:12:10.000 Eight?
01:12:11.000 Seven or eight.
01:12:12.000 What about you and your shithole disgusting projects in the Bronx?
01:12:16.000 Frankly, we would go out to play as young as five, maybe six, seven, and you would run around with your friends, and frankly, you'd hang out.
01:12:27.000 Your nose is kind of weird.
01:12:29.000 It is.
01:12:30.000 It's kind of longer.
01:12:33.000 There's a different one that's a little better, but there's no hair.
01:12:38.000 You know.
01:12:39.000 Very weird.
01:12:41.000 No hair.
01:12:43.000 Okay.
01:12:45.000 You know, Mr. Trump, I work with a guy named Ryan Katsu Rivera.
01:12:49.000 Great guy.
01:12:50.000 Who says this is an impossible thing to do, and though I asked him almost a year ago to figure it out, he assured me that it was impossible.
01:12:58.000 It's not impossible, but it's using an entire computer.
01:13:02.000 And usually my workflow here kind of depends on me having two computers.
01:13:06.000 We're going to think of a better way.
01:13:09.000 Go.
01:13:10.000 But the big picture is that Ryan was not wrong.
01:13:12.000 Again.
01:13:13.000 Not wrong.
01:13:13.000 I mean, he wasn't quite right, but that doesn't mean he's wrong.
01:13:18.000 Interesting twist.
01:13:20.000 Okay.
01:13:21.000 King of the twist.
01:13:24.000 My shit still hasn't updated, bro.
01:13:27.000 Oh, here we go.
01:13:28.000 Finally.
01:13:33.000 This is from Tim.
01:13:36.000 I cannot believe.
01:13:36.000 I'll never get over the fact that our readers are scared that I'll use their names.
01:13:41.000 You know what?
01:13:42.000 Why'd you lose your job?
01:13:43.000 I wrote a letter to a show, and the show is rude.
01:13:46.000 You know what I saw?
01:13:47.000 I was watching Talking Sopranos with the two guys from the Sopranos, and they had fans come on the show, and the guy was like, I'm a professor.
01:13:54.000 And I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
01:13:57.000 Why would you tell people?
01:13:59.000 It's so confusing of a notion that people would reveal what they do, what the fuck they do.
01:14:03.000 Because you have PTSD from this show.
01:14:05.000 I'm like, what are you doing?
01:14:07.000 Yeah, I feel that way when I see MSNBC people with, here's me and my kids.
01:14:13.000 Like, don't show your kids' face.
01:14:14.000 Oh, yeah, you're on the evil side.
01:14:16.000 Nobody's going to fire.
01:14:18.000 No one's going to threaten your children.
01:14:21.000 I want to put my daughter in boarding school.
01:14:24.000 I don't think she, I don't want her to leave New York.
01:14:26.000 She likes it too much.
01:14:27.000 So when we move down south, I want to put her in boarding school.
01:14:30.000 And then my wife pointed out, you can't get into any boarding schools.
01:14:34.000 If anyone knows any New York boarding schools that would accept a Nazi's daughter, please let me know in the comments.
01:14:42.000 She'll be 16, so it'll just be maybe a year or two.
01:14:45.000 Hey, Gavin Rye, gay.
01:14:47.000 Ouch.
01:14:48.000 On Thursday's show, you read out Joe Tonelli's Down Syndrome-esque ramblings disguised as a resume.
01:14:54.000 And I just could not sit there and let this cat CPR story just fly by without actually checking its authenticity.
01:15:00.000 Now, I was fully aware that he's probably New York's top bullshit artist, so I braced myself for disappointment.
01:15:05.000 But I started to look into back issues of the daily item.
01:15:09.000 Amazingly, on November 9th, 1981, there is indeed a front-page story of a certain Joseph Tonelli giving mouth to mouth on a fucking cat.
01:15:25.000 What?
01:15:25.000 That's a double damn.
01:15:28.000 What?
01:15:31.000 No.
01:15:32.000 No, this has got to be some online fucking.
01:15:35.000 Joe's stupidest lie is the only thing he's ever said that's truthful.
01:15:40.000 Meowed thanks.
01:15:42.000 Prince Kim 2 is resting comfortably and in stable condition today thanks to quick action by Rai volunteer firefighter Joe Tonelli.
01:15:50.000 Okay, no, it's still bullshit.
01:15:52.000 No, it's not.
01:15:53.000 No, stable.
01:15:54.000 It was critical but stable condition.
01:15:56.000 This just says stable.
01:15:58.000 And the 16-year-old Siamese cat, Bala Tonelli, after responding to a house fire at 21 Walker Avenue, found the cat upstairs.
01:16:03.000 That's true.
01:16:04.000 Well, that goes with his story.
01:16:06.000 Passed out and suffering from smoke inhalation.
01:16:09.000 He performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation to save its life.
01:16:13.000 Prince's owner touched Smith.
01:16:14.000 And nothing but praise for the department and Tanelli.
01:16:18.000 I can't say enough about how the fire department handled the situation.
01:16:22.000 I cannot fucking believe this.
01:16:23.000 Wait, no, no, no.
01:16:24.000 What?
01:16:25.000 Schmidt said yesterday they handled it superbly, but not just with the fire, but also with my wife and I. Tonelli did something beyond the Call of Duty.
01:16:35.000 It's not a joke.
01:16:36.000 Tonelli and Fire Chief Wayne Elmore were unavailable.
01:16:40.000 Yeah, because they're too brave.
01:16:42.000 They don't stick around.
01:16:43.000 Thank you, Masked Man.
01:16:46.000 He did not think Tonelli used...
01:16:47.000 Oh, but volunteer Chris Foster said he did not think Tonelli used mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
01:16:53.000 We have an oxygen tank that fits over the person's mouth and nose, and I guess that's what they use to revive it, he said.
01:16:59.000 Schmidt's wife, Barbara, arrived home and saw the smoke, blah, blah, blah.
01:17:03.000 Two other cats were down.
01:17:05.000 Humans performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on animals is not that abnormal, he said.
01:17:10.000 We don't get many cases, but it definitely can be done, veterinarian Gary Yarnell said.
01:17:17.000 Wow.
01:17:18.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.
01:17:20.000 Sometimes the falseness will be complaints.
01:17:25.000 Sometimes the Jo Tonelli stories will be true.
01:17:28.000 They're so fake, they're real.
01:17:31.000 Wow.
01:17:32.000 They loop back around into reality.
01:17:34.000 That is going to the pub, folks.
01:17:37.000 Wow.
01:17:38.000 Holy shit.
01:17:40.000 Wow.
01:17:40.000 Maybe his compulsive lying is relatively new.
01:17:45.000 Another COVID observation.
01:17:46.000 My mother-in-law, who lives in Florida, pointed this out.
01:17:49.000 But if there was such a huge increase in deaths from the Chinese lab virus, then why do we not see funeral processions all the time blocking the roadways?
01:17:57.000 Yeah.
01:17:58.000 Well, we had that Milton Keynes guy come up.
01:18:01.000 Got a lot of shit from British people, by the way, telling us Milton Keynes sucks.
01:18:05.000 Pretty sure that's where I went to meet Tommy Robinson at a beautiful pub on a cobblestone street.
01:18:10.000 So maybe it mostly sucks, but it's got some nice areas.
01:18:17.000 But yeah, that funeral home operator in Britain said nothing's changed.
01:18:21.000 It's been the same number of bodies he's picked up forever.
01:18:25.000 It's just these ones all get called COVID.
01:18:29.000 I'm sure someone else has pointed this out, but a centrifuge does not test for COVID, aka the Chinese lab virus.
01:18:34.000 PCR testing involves amplification of the DNA sample to look for certain base pairs of DNA that we have identified as coming from the virus.
01:18:43.000 The polymerase chain reaction was discovered in the early 80s and can take a very minute sample of DNA and amplify to the extent we can see it using electrophoresis.
01:18:56.000 What centrifuge does is separate different molecules based on their mass.
01:19:00.000 Take a sample of blood and spin it really fast and the cells because they weigh more will be at the bottom of the tube and the serum and the other proteins at the top or in more detail at different layers and you can suck out with a pipette.
01:19:12.000 It's just gravity doing the work.
01:19:14.000 When they talk about cycles they mean each blah blah this is pretty boring dude.
01:19:19.000 You could have a couple of viruses in your nose or even a dead virus not as much needed to have illness but if you amplify that enough you could test positive.
01:19:27.000 Yeah so six of one has half a dozen the other this is fucking you're being pedantic sir new video drop from Andy Brown.
01:19:37.000 Oops I just said his name this is ancient Chinese secret please stop sending me this I get it once a fucking day guys when you send me a video drop you may want to check the date and the views 2.5 million views from the spring means I've probably come across it before wait why can't you load it dumbass because democracy basically means government by the people
01:24:14.000 elevator ride to about 1600 feet and for that it's all about climbing how high am i oh a million of course you have to bring All your tools with you.
01:24:32.000 That's the red bag hanging below.
01:24:35.000 It weighs about 30 pounds, and you pull it up behind you all the way to the top.
01:24:42.000 It's a lot like a spacewalk, where you have to remember to bring everything you're going to do.
01:24:46.000 Who cleans up all the shit that streams up the deck when you're climbing it?
01:24:50.000 Yeah, he's got no harness, and I have no balls.
01:24:53.000 My scrutal sack is condensed right now.
01:24:55.000 It's like contracting.
01:25:04.000 Don't look down.
01:25:06.000 I'd be worried about getting so scared I faint.
01:25:09.000 This is the pole that the antenna is mounted on top of.
01:25:12.000 Itches there for extra height.
01:25:14.000 Oh, cool.
01:25:15.000 Yeah, that's what you need up there.
01:25:17.000 Yeah, it gives you a little extra.
01:25:18.000 My balls are being eaten by an alligator right now.
01:25:21.000 Do you feel any sensation in your nuts?
01:25:23.000 I don't have any nuts right now.
01:25:25.000 I'm not kidding.
01:25:26.000 Does your testicles...
01:25:27.000 Do they feel anything?
01:25:28.000 I'm numb to this one now.
01:25:30.000 I don't know why.
01:25:30.000 This used to really bother me.
01:25:32.000 And it's not a hard time.
01:25:32.000 Oh, good.
01:25:35.000 While you rest.
01:25:36.000 You clip it while you rest.
01:25:37.000 Free climbing is more dangerous, of course.
01:25:40.000 Oh.
01:25:40.000 But OSHA rules do allow for it.
01:25:44.000 Attaching, climbing, attaching, and removing safety lines every few minutes.
01:25:48.000 It's weird.
01:25:49.000 We went on these rope bridge tours in Costa Rica.
01:25:52.000 And my eldest boy, I said, do your balls feel weird?
01:25:56.000 And as I was saying that, my youngest boy comes up and he goes, do your balls feel weird?
01:26:00.000 So my eldest boy felt nothing.
01:26:02.000 His balls are normal.
01:26:02.000 And then me and my youngest boy, our balls were like all tied up.
01:26:08.000 It's the baby ball thing.
01:26:12.000 What's the problem up there that you got to fix?
01:26:15.000 Something broke?
01:26:16.000 Look at it.
01:26:19.000 What are you going to do?
01:26:20.000 Weld it?
01:26:24.000 What if you get zapped?
01:26:27.000 What if a thunderstorm breaks out and lightning starts going?
01:26:29.000 You're going to be the first to go.
01:26:32.000 Yeah, I'd say they checked the weather beforehand, but it looks pretty cloudy to me.
01:26:35.000 Yeah.
01:26:42.000 They have things to deter birds from landing, but birds can't get up that high.
01:26:48.000 Birds start shitting their pants.
01:26:50.000 That thing that they used to deter birds from going up there is the height, which it is.
01:26:56.000 This helps to dissipate the charges before they build up to create a lightning strike.
01:27:02.000 God, yeah, I'd just be thinking, what if I faint?
01:27:13.000 Now we've reached the base of the antenna.
01:27:16.000 From here, it's just another 60 feet to the top.
01:27:19.000 Oh, is that all?
01:27:20.000 Sheesh.
01:27:21.000 60 more feet, and we're good to go, boys.
01:27:26.000 That doesn't look very climb-friendly.
01:27:28.000 No, it doesn't.
01:27:29.000 It looks like it wasn't meant to be.
01:27:31.000 I like the cage before.
01:27:32.000 That I could have worked with.
01:27:34.000 This is just like, I don't know, figure it out.
01:27:39.000 My nuts are being clenched right now.
01:27:43.000 Between molars.
01:27:49.000 Wait, how did they get all that shit there in the first place?
01:27:52.000 Just cranes, I guess.
01:27:56.000 Wait, what?
01:27:56.000 No, a crane would not go that high.
01:27:59.000 Wait, how do they do that?
01:28:00.000 Well, yeah, it must be cranes.
01:28:02.000 Huh.
01:28:07.000 They build it on its side and then just tip it up?
01:28:09.000 Oh, no.
01:28:10.000 That's a funny, but maybe, who knows, way.
01:28:14.000 Okay, you're at the top of the universe now.
01:28:18.000 It is here where you can talk to God himself.
01:28:21.000 It is here where you start floating because there's no gravitational pull.
01:28:25.000 It's here where you are now a space object.
01:28:28.000 It's here where they picked up Luke Skywalker after he had his hand cash.
01:28:36.000 Still plugging going, huh?
01:28:38.000 Time for another break.
01:28:41.000 Seeing storm clouds, he checks on the lightning conditions.
01:28:46.000 If a storm's blowing through, there's no quick way down.
01:28:53.000 Give this homie a parachute, dog.
01:28:56.000 Because then that would be fun to jump off a parachute.
01:28:58.000 What does he make an hour?
01:28:59.000 A billion dollars?
01:29:02.000 Just anything you want.
01:29:04.000 My feet are sweating right now.
01:29:05.000 Oh, my feet actually are sweating.
01:29:08.000 But that could just be because of my shoes.
01:29:10.000 I'm telling you, this used to bother me way more.
01:29:12.000 I'm thinking maybe I watched that pre-skydiving, and then afterwards, you're just like...
01:29:17.000 Yeah, that seems like a kind of an efficient way to get down.
01:29:20.000 Just have a parachute.
01:29:21.000 Yeah.
01:29:21.000 And time for another break.
01:29:23.000 Oh, repels?
01:29:24.000 He just said there's no quick way down.
01:29:25.000 It's not like they've invented a thing where if you jump off, you pull a lever and all of a sudden you're lowered to the ground.
01:29:31.000 You can see 55 miles to the horizon.
01:29:36.000 You know what?
01:29:37.000 You got to be on the spectrum.
01:29:38.000 My hands are drenched with sweat.
01:29:41.000 They're shiny.
01:29:42.000 Would you ever skydive?
01:29:44.000 No.
01:29:45.000 Nope.
01:29:47.000 I can't wait to do that again.
01:29:48.000 His partner below him wears a helmet to deflect the shit.
01:29:53.000 I wasn't scared of heights before, but now I am.
01:29:56.000 Maybe it's being a dad.
01:29:59.000 Someone else noticed that Joe's not lying?
01:30:05.000 Oh, well, yeah.
01:30:06.000 Sure enough.
01:30:08.000 These are different.
01:30:09.000 From a lady who says, Gavin, is there any way to still donate to Justice for Liberty?
01:30:12.000 Is that done forever?
01:30:13.000 So we had a problem with our payment processors.
01:30:16.000 They were canceled, and some said that it was because we were involved in auctions, and banks hate auctions because they're rife with fraud.
01:30:23.000 But we have a new payment processor now.
01:30:25.000 I think I can bring the doodle auction back, especially if we don't put it on the site.
01:30:31.000 So that'll be coming up shortly.
01:30:33.000 So that may be revived.
01:30:34.000 Did you ever find John's drawings, Ryan?
01:30:36.000 No, I found a couple of his letters, but no drawings.
01:30:39.000 And in the folder I gave you, there was no John drawings.
01:30:42.000 True.
01:30:42.000 Correct.
01:30:45.000 If I find those on that ledge.
01:30:47.000 I know, I know.
01:30:48.000 I'm going to shoot your friends, baby.
01:30:51.000 Oh, that's fine.
01:30:53.000 My eyes are blue.
01:30:57.000 I think I'm blurry.
01:31:01.000 You think you're fired?
01:31:02.000 And you're blurry.
01:31:04.000 There we go.
01:31:07.000 Blue eyes.
01:31:10.000 Good to know.
01:31:12.000 Um, hey, but boys, I'm a 20-year professional audio engineer.
01:31:19.000 Those Road Lab mics you use are not meant for broadcasts.
01:31:22.000 They are for amateurs shooting video on iPhones.
01:31:25.000 Make Ryan walk his ass down to B ⁇ H and get some real SHUR or Sennheiser RF system with true diversity antennas.
01:31:34.000 And I suggest encryption capabilities so no one can fuck with your transmissions.
01:31:38.000 As a fellow Scotsman, I understand you're cheap, G-Dog, but this is the answer to your never-ending microphone malfeasance.
01:31:44.000 Sounds good.
01:31:45.000 More than a friend.
01:31:48.000 But we didn't have any trouble with the microphones yesterday, did we?
01:31:51.000 No.
01:31:52.000 You know what we were actually using?
01:31:53.000 The regular mics.
01:31:55.000 Oh, my.
01:31:56.000 So they were hearing all the audio that was coming through that we play through the computer, so it's an upgrade in many ways from the Skype thing.
01:32:06.000 The left can't meme.
01:32:08.000 Please check out this Instagram account, Reductress.
01:32:11.000 I first came across it.
01:32:12.000 My friend reposted the below screenshot.
01:32:14.000 My boyfriend and I don't understand or see the humor.
01:32:16.000 Do you get this?
01:32:17.000 What is happening?
01:32:18.000 Reductress.
01:32:18.000 Study finds nothing more threatening than entirely blonde family.
01:32:22.000 Reductress, I fell for this before this week because someone sent it in and I got soundly ridiculed for falling for an onion type of parody site.
01:32:32.000 So I told her, I saved her the embarrassment and I said, they're mocking the left, calm down.
01:32:39.000 And then she pulls Orion and cannot learn from her mistakes and she says, I don't think they're mocking the left.
01:32:46.000 I think they are the left.
01:32:48.000 All my old ultra-liberal college friends are liking and reposting unironically.
01:32:53.000 Yeah, that doesn't mean they're not kidding.
01:32:56.000 Reductress is a clear parody site.
01:32:58.000 Wow.
01:32:59.000 When this woman couldn't afford her insulin, her whole town tripped in for her funeral.
01:33:04.000 How can you think that serious?
01:33:07.000 It has a picture.
01:33:09.000 How could it be fake?
01:33:11.000 And then finally, we're living in a society.
01:33:16.000 Yes, I'm aware of the George Costanza society bid.
01:33:20.000 It's likely where I got it from.
01:33:22.000 Please stop sending me the Seinfeld clip.
01:33:26.000 But I'll just play it here once, so hopefully you'll stop doing this.
01:33:32.000 It's George Costanza's waiting in line to use a payphone, and someone buds in front of him.
01:33:38.000 Let's just get this over with.
01:33:40.000 The Joker also said we're living in a society, and he was right.
01:33:43.000 Did he?
01:33:44.000 Yep.
01:33:44.000 The new one?
01:33:45.000 Well, no, that's actually the meme about it.
01:33:46.000 I don't know if he actually says it, but it's the Joker's face, and it's like, we live in a society.
01:33:50.000 Very popular amongst the internet people.
01:33:55.000 Stalling.
01:33:57.000 Okay, let's let your 46k modem load.
01:34:01.000 Mine's going nuts here.
01:34:02.000 I've already...
01:34:05.000 AHHHHHH!
01:34:09.000 Once again, what Ryan does is garbage.
01:34:15.000 AHHHHHH!
01:34:16.000 I was waiting.
01:34:17.000 I'm going to close this Skype out.
01:34:20.000 It's not Skype.
01:34:21.000 I think it is, because even on the...
01:34:23.000 It's blurry.
01:34:25.000 There we go.
01:34:26.000 I didn't see you.
01:34:27.000 I've been standing here for the last 10 minutes.
01:34:29.000 I won't be long.
01:34:31.000 Um, that's not the point.
01:34:32.000 The point is, I was here first.
01:34:35.000 Well, if you were here first, you'd be holding the phone.
01:34:46.000 You know, we're living in a society.
01:34:50.000 We're supposed to act in a civilized way.
01:34:58.000 Does she care?
01:35:00.000 Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems?
01:35:04.000 Isn't it weirdo?
01:35:05.000 That's a gay, pussy, liberal actor playing Larry David.
01:35:13.000 Who's a grumpy old alpha male Jew named a Mexican?
01:35:19.000 Yeah.
01:35:20.000 Wow, that's true.
01:35:21.000 One of the odds.
01:35:21.000 All right, let's jump to the final video.
01:35:23.000 Short F, folks.
01:35:42.000 Can you believe Derek Chauvin has to represent himself because he can't even get a public defender?
01:35:48.000 We've gone backwards.
01:35:49.000 Maybe it's better because they'd be afraid to actually go hard in the defense and say strong things.
01:35:57.000 And maybe he could do a better job.
01:35:59.000 This is a new thing.
01:36:00.000 I mean, Tommy Robinson had to struggle to find a lawyer.
01:36:05.000 Ezra ended up finding a guy who represented war criminals, like Milosevic.
01:36:11.000 That's how he got it.
01:36:12.000 By the way, a little side note, folks.
01:36:15.000 I cannot say enough about these shoes.
01:36:17.000 They're J. Crew brogues.
01:36:19.000 I know they have that stupid hipster white soul.
01:36:22.000 I find it works for me.
01:36:24.000 These shoes are so fucking comfortable, you will not believe it.
01:36:30.000 They're more comfortable than sneakers.
01:36:32.000 They're light as air.
01:36:35.000 I got them on sale.
01:36:36.000 They look beautiful.
01:36:41.000 And each step is like walking on a hundred clouds made of virgin pubes.
01:36:48.000 You know how women have been fucked a lot, their pubes are all gross and wilted and caked with who knows what.
01:36:56.000 I only like virgin pubes.
01:36:57.000 That's true.
01:36:58.000 For my blankets and pillows and down jackets.
01:37:00.000 Yeah.
01:37:06.000 We don't usually do international videos, but this particular one made me just go, do you know what a gun is?
01:37:16.000 Even hiding behind a car door is stupid.
01:37:19.000 If there's a shootout on the street, I would try to get under the car, but the wheel well is the only place you can even hope that a bullet will deflect.
01:37:28.000 Otherwise, it's going right through, Right into you.
01:37:32.000 Hiding behind a wall.
01:37:33.000 So, this was at an Indian trial in shithole India Stan, and a rival gang showed up pretending to be lawyers, and then they shot the bad guy, and then they got into a shootout with police.
01:37:47.000 Now, it's India, so everything's made of fucking pita bread.
01:37:52.000 And the fact that people are just sort of meandering like it's January 6th blows my mind.
01:37:57.000 I was watching this, just yelling at my computer, going, run!
01:38:01.000 Run!
01:38:03.000 What if I do?
01:38:04.000 What if I...
01:38:08.000 Look, what's going on in there?
01:38:12.000 Look at her on the right.
01:38:17.000 I guess I'll just hide by this wall that's made of plutonium and lead.
01:38:25.000 Like, what do you...
01:38:26.000 Do you think the wall means anything?
01:38:32.000 And everyone watching that is just like, what, are guns going off?
01:38:39.000 You see the same thing in the States, too.
01:38:40.000 This is not unique to India.
01:38:41.000 Look at them just...
01:38:48.000 That wasn't a very good final video.
01:38:50.000 Ladies and gentlemen, it's the weekend.
01:38:53.000 Time for some fun.
01:38:54.000 Time to enjoy ourselves.
01:38:56.000 Time to spend time with our children.
01:39:00.000 Go bring your kids to the driving range.
01:39:02.000 Go play golf with your boys.
01:39:04.000 Go race dirt bikes with your boys.
01:39:06.000 Go hunting.
01:39:07.000 Go for a five-hour hike with your kids.
01:39:12.000 They'll hate it at first, but then they'll get into it.
01:39:14.000 And the conversations you have, you climb up old trees, felled trees, you walk along them like this.
01:39:21.000 There's nothing better than a nature hike with your kids.
01:39:24.000 It totally recalibrates not just your relationship with them, but it recalibrates the individuals.
01:39:31.000 And you just feel more at one with nature, more at one with society.
01:39:35.000 You know, a lot of these, the most successful rehabs involve people going into the woods for 40 days, 50 days, 60 days.
01:39:44.000 Kids that are having trouble at school or starting to get in with the wrong crowd, they'll send them to these nature retreats and they come out reborn.
01:39:53.000 We were meant to be around nature and the fact that we're stuck in these concrete prisons shows that we're separating ourselves from what makes us great and what makes us who we are.
01:40:02.000 So even if it's just some local suburban wooded trail, let's get our kids naturified this weekend and reconnect with the trees around us because the city sucks and we're losing ourselves.
01:40:18.000 And as far as your future, you don't have to worry about it this weekend, but on Monday, I would highly recommend you get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
01:40:34.000 Distance is a problem that I know how to solve.
01:40:40.000 My life would be better if I wasn't involved.
01:40:46.000 I know it sounds crazy, but lately, oh baby, I wish someone would know how to save me, please save me so please.