JustPearlyThings - A REALITY Check for Modern Women Disguising As Traditional Women

00:00:00.000 restaurant and um and we were at the restaurant and the way the way he was treating the waiter

00:00:06.080 is like bring me this and why are you not bringing me this and i was like because he to to him he was

00:00:12.080 he was the alpha male wherever he was or wherever he went and because he had businesses and and good

00:00:17.360 status or whatever he he carried himself like that and that's why i say he was so misogynistic that

00:00:24.480 i i don't agree with you he might just think to himself you know what i'm paying for service and

00:00:31.280 i want the service right exactly yeah but he did it in like the wrong way he wasn't i mean he could

00:00:36.080 he could be he could be rude yeah what is what is misogynistic to you okay my understanding is some

00:00:45.600 masculine in its overbearing masculine no that's what she actually thinks though like

00:00:50.960 that i think people people modern feminists that's what they actually think they think

00:00:54.720 misogyny is just being a man it's masculinity that they think that's the problem um but it's

00:01:00.240 a disdain for women so misogyny is kind of like judging someone purely based on their gender and

00:01:04.400 kind of an oppressive way i think like saying things like you you can't it's the hatred of women yeah

00:01:09.440 but the action of misogyny is is kind of like you can't you can't have this job because you're a woman

00:01:14.560 you know xyz that's how it you know it shows itself it's not being rude to a waiter or saying

00:01:19.760 uh my wife she cooks i pay for the bills that's not my subject that's just being you know a man

00:01:23.760 who believes in roles maybe overbearing at times but do you know i was just thinking her dad sounds

00:01:28.320 like a older version of andrew tate yeah 100 percent i mean that's what i'm trying to say

00:01:35.920 everyone's but it's not misogyny is it he's just alpha male he he didn't have a big mouth like tate does

00:01:42.000 but he was he was very in his actions very that's the woman's role and this is the man's role

00:01:48.800 and there ain't no in between and that's fair enough you have a right to define roles in your

00:01:52.720 relationship is consensual right if if if i say you have to do this and i do this yeah but you know

00:01:57.680 something right even though she looks in it as if it's something negative it worked for her parents

00:02:04.880 and it works for them and notice they like aspects of it so no one complains that like you know my dad

00:02:10.800 was paying too much of the bills and taking care of too much stuff and really kind of protect us too much

00:02:14.720 it's only like random small things then it's like misogyny and you know the thing is the older

00:02:19.760 they get the more they realize you know what i i want to be like my parents that they didn't have

00:02:24.800 it so bad because the older you get you're going to realize that all these roles that they had works

00:02:30.480 it works and everybody's going towards traditional and they're looking at their parents and thinking

00:02:35.360 nah they were too traditional but when you think about it look at the longevity of your parents

00:02:41.040 relationship compared to the longevity of the relationships now where people decide they

00:02:46.400 want to mix modern with traditional which don't work it never works auntie would you describe yourself

00:02:51.680 as a modern woman no would you how would you describe yourself because you've said you're not

00:02:56.400 traditional so i would say i'm a traditionalist okay what does that mean that means that i'm not a virgin

00:03:03.120 okay and i'm having those to say it and i still know my place but i would say that if i was a virgin

00:03:14.320 and i was the same person and i was married i'm traditional i'm not i'm just an old bird with

00:03:19.840 traditional values how how do you feel do you feel like over a certain age modern women cannot have

00:03:26.480 traditional outcomes anymore i had the same conversation today with him indoors and

00:03:33.120 he just he it was just like they get to this age after being so modern and they hit like the 35s and

00:03:42.560 they think you know what it's not working for me i want to be traditional but then

00:03:47.760 the men that are out there that are one traditional they don't want them because the women are coming

00:03:52.880 with this modern values trying to be traditional and you know what you've got it or you ain't and you

00:03:58.160 can't mix the two you cannot mix the two and women are out there they're too busy trying to be

00:04:03.520 modern but traditional but no they're not even trying to be like a normal woman with traditional

00:04:08.560 values they want to be modern and traditional and they're gonna clash they're gonna clash because the

00:04:14.320 two can't work together no matter what they say it can't work i'm telling you it cannot work you cannot be

00:04:21.760 modern and traditional at the same time modern is all about look up at the dictionary modern is all

00:04:29.200 about me me me me me traditional is about us the village raising everybody together so you can't

00:04:36.800 turn around and say oh i'm going to be modern it's all about me and i'm going to do traditional because

00:04:41.440 it does not work it's impossible you're fooling yourself if you think you could be modern with

00:04:47.040 traditional values if i turned around and i said oh i'm a traditionalist and i'm going to be modern

00:04:52.080 i'm going to go out i want to get my nails done i'm going to wear miniskirt i'm going to get my hair

00:04:56.480 done i want to get makeup they're thinking you're kidding yourself look at her old woman do you know

00:05:01.680 what i mean or mutton dressed as lamb they're not going to accept it from a traditional old person like

00:05:06.640 me trying to be modern so why do they think it's going to work the other way around it don't yeah how how do

00:05:12.000 you feel like we can return do you do you think there is any returning to traditionalism for modern

00:05:17.440 women like is there any way they can do it now forget about modern minimum i want to start my

00:05:22.000 grandchildren's age and the children because there's no hope for them the only thing i can do is all the

00:05:25.760 modern women you try and sort yourself out for your children and raise the next generation because

00:05:31.280 these people now they're lost they're lost they're fighting against themselves they're fighting to

00:05:37.920 they're fighting to hold on to something that is not good for them that is it's proven that it's

00:05:44.000 not good for you so all this modern nest that they want it's not working there's nothing wrong with

00:05:51.760 being traditional and the thing is it only hits them when they get to a certain age and they think

00:05:55.920 you know what i've got this i want this i want this and where's the man oh can i do you do you think

00:06:01.920 most men are traditional yeah i think deep down they are deep down in the backbones of the men they

00:06:10.080 are but it's finding a woman that would work with them and the men are too busy trying to bend to this

00:06:16.080 modern woman rather than dash them and leave them do you think from all cultures or specific all cultures

00:06:22.240 all cultures before you can say it's them you can say like it's the the people and it's spreading it's

00:06:27.520 like the plague it's like a modern plague where even places where you think it's not going to happen

00:06:32.800 all of a sudden they've got people on instagram and they live in a village where they live in a

00:06:39.040 village back wherever it is and you can see them and then and they're doing the dances and everybody

00:06:43.440 wants no no no no no it's leaking into society and if we don't stop it now it's gonna you're gonna end

00:06:49.520 up with it's gonna end up with a mess really because sooner or later there's gonna be no children being

00:06:55.440 born they're gonna be cutting down there gonna be no children being born because the modern women

00:07:00.320 are gonna be too old to breed and then the old the the people that they want don't want them and men

00:07:06.720 quite happily after a certain age they're gonna think you know what i've got to the age where i

00:07:10.480 don't want no crying kids in my head i'd rather just chill have my own place live off my own wealth

00:07:16.960 and forget about it so i think now we need to work on the the children that are in school now

00:07:22.480 because what we're showing them now is wrong and the thing is the modern woman knows it's wrong

00:07:27.920 and rather than turn around like me i have messed up my whole life i have messed up my whole life

00:07:34.160 i'm not going to turn around and say oh yes i've had a perfect relationship oh yes i've had a perfect

00:07:38.960 life but you know what if i can avoid somebody else going through the crap that i have i'm going to try

00:07:45.120 my hardest but too many people are out there and rather than say you know what i've learned this i'm

00:07:50.320 going to pass it down they're not passing it down they're making it look as if it's all right and i

00:07:54.640 don't understand that because if it's not working for you why not pass it on to the next generation

00:07:59.600 so they can see that it's not working but you know what just to say quickly the solution is not

00:08:05.600 really going back to traditionalism the solution is instilling people with self-love so that they

00:08:10.560 they can value themselves and find the right people for them modern women are obsessed with

00:08:17.120 themselves look at instagram but that's there's a difference there's a difference there's obsession

00:08:22.880 and there's like seriously true um installation of confidence and self-love and what i mean by that

00:08:27.840 self-love is no no no no i'll tell you what it means you want me to tell you what it means okay okay

00:08:33.680 tell me what it means okay two sentences self-love means that you are able to understand what you're

00:08:38.960 good at or you're bad at what is ugly about you which means that when you go for somebody you're

00:08:43.280 not going to let somebody make you feel less than and you're not going to go for somebody that is way

00:08:46.960 more than you so you go stand in your lane but modern modern women loves themselves so much that they

00:08:52.000 think they deserve this because they know modern women stop stop modern women love themselves so much

00:08:56.880 that they think they deserve the men that they sleep with even though those men do not commit to them

00:09:01.360 do you think and then they come back and scream trauma do you think that the women that are

00:09:05.360 showing off on social media doing a lot of these things they think that's self-love or is that

00:09:08.480 actually a lot of insecurity i think it's narcissism i think most modern women are very narcissistic

00:09:12.800 they're usually obsessed with themselves they think that they're tense they think that they're

00:09:16.080 special and narcissism when you're literally average narcissism comes from insecurities no i would

00:09:21.440 disagree no the narcissist is an extremely insecure person who feels rejected i think this is like i

00:09:28.560 think this is modern women babble where they try to psychoanalyze everybody boys check out what

00:09:33.200 narcissism stop stop stop they think that they think that they're they they psychoanalyze everybody

00:09:37.920 and they think that they're a therapist and they think that they're a psychologist and they can just

00:09:41.280 psychoanalyze narcissists literally think they're better than everyone they think they're perfect

00:09:45.120 you could they can't do no wrong it's a front thank you it's not it's a psychological condition

00:09:50.720 there's literature on this you're just making stuff up right now everybody read freud for narcissism it is not

00:09:56.400 insecure baby that person is very knows who they are no they know do you know do you know the

00:10:01.520 definition of a narcissist it's literally a clinical condition i did i do like you're like in my

00:10:07.920 through the definition i think it's insecurity because that would mean you're right i think it's

00:10:12.800 need to be right right now excuse me okay a narcissist a person who has an excessive interest or admiration

00:10:19.440 of themselves it is not insecure where does it stem from okay okay okay okay okay i went deep into

00:10:27.040 research about narcissism because i was okay okay but like this like right here this this is a

00:10:31.680 narcissistic trait like this this interaction because you think you know the definition better

00:10:36.640 than the actual definition you're like rewrite writing words so you can be right well no i'm not

00:10:42.480 go search for it and go for all the psychology journals you tell them the the narcissist it starts from

00:10:48.400 youth where actually they're going through so many so many i don't even know what to tell which one

00:10:53.760 when i was going through my abuse just google just google um how narcissists just put like how

00:10:58.960 narcissists like spiritual just like that just like that and go check and actually narcissism actually

00:11:05.040 stems from the fact that the child either was ignored when they were young and so they did everything

00:11:09.280 to come to come from attention okay okay literally okay this is this is this is from mayo clinic do we do we

00:11:16.480 agree mayo clinic yes or no how do we feel about mayo clinic i don't think so i'm a scientist i will

00:11:24.560 take you with a pinch of salt i can pick a different one though there's no peer reviews that was just the

00:11:30.000 first one symptoms have an exaggerated self exaggerated sense of self-importance have a sense of entitlement

00:11:37.840 and require constant excessive admiration oh actually go through this i want you to think of if these

00:11:43.440 describe modern women okay as i as i go through these expect to be recognized as superior even without

00:11:50.800 achievements that warrant it exaggerate achievements and talents be preoccupied with fantasies about

00:11:57.360 success power brilliance beauty or the perfect mate believe that they are superior and can only associate

00:12:04.960 with equally special people monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as

00:12:11.280 inferior expect special special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations take advantage

00:12:18.800 of others to get what they want have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings

00:12:24.480 of others be envious of others and believe others envy them behave in an arrogant or haughty manner

00:12:32.080 coming from a conceited boastful and pretentious insist on having the best of everything for instance the

00:12:38.080 best car office etc did that describe modern women yep that sounded like um like that like she said

00:12:44.480 that sounds like somebody really insecure exactly exactly

00:12:49.120 a little bit but no a little bit but no a little bit but no all i wanted to say is that

00:12:55.680 gotcha

00:12:57.680 y'all need to also also also also also um causes environment genetics neurobiology

00:13:07.360 um environment mismatches in parent-child relationships either with an excessive adoration

00:13:12.640 or excessive criticism that is poorly attuned to the child experience genetics inherited

00:13:18.640 characteristics neurobiology the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking

00:13:24.320 risk factors narcissistic personality affects more males than females doubt it no no no no i was

00:13:30.240 about to say that i'm so sorry i wanted to say is that it sounds like the modern woman but it

00:13:34.880 sounds like the mother woman who's trying to catch up with the man oh that's what it sounds to me

00:13:39.840 do you understand because that's meant for you men that run companies whatever have their lift

00:13:44.640 a finger male privilege white privilege you understand like you think men that run companies

00:13:49.360 don't have to lift a finger no no i'm just crazy well well well i don't they may not work as hard

00:13:54.880 as well i said may i said may i said may oh girl may as it may it depends have you have you

00:14:00.720 no we have not now have to look at the companies okay i'm i'm talking let's say the man of say 50 60

00:14:07.680 years ago the modern woman of today is trying to catch up with that man 50 60 years ago yeah the

00:14:13.280 one that was very pompous stuff like full of himself like the characteristics you read what i see is

00:14:19.520 not current men because also what's funny is that we started this conversation say what's wrong with

00:14:23.520 the man and then we now look at the woman and what's faulty with her and that's what's funny here

00:14:28.080 that's what i'm trying to say so it's like the woman is faulty but who's the woman trying to emily

00:14:33.520 she's trying to catch up with the man so really the women just need to know their place now they're

00:14:38.240 women they're not men and they can't catch up with men and they need to as they said hold their own

00:14:42.560 lane and be women and allow the men to be men yeah but when we say be in their lane people should not

00:14:48.480 get offended by your lane does not mean in the kitchen you understand your lane doesn't mean in

00:14:53.760 the house in your lane could be like okay if you know that engineering is not for a female field

00:15:00.480 leave it for the man go find your field that is the lane that's like find what you prosper in

00:15:06.960 no no but what i'm saying stay in your lane she's saying like understand understand your

00:15:10.160 position don't overplay your position and that is valid for everybody in life not just male or female

00:15:14.960 i get i think i think when a unique time period of time where i think because of you know everyone

00:15:20.560 being able to work i think we really need to like readdress how we relate to each other as men and

00:15:24.560 women so i wouldn't i wouldn't as much say like you know people should stay in their roles and

00:15:29.280 etc but i really think there needs to be like a really conscious effort to kind of re rebalance

00:15:34.800 that that that relationship because it's not the 1960s anymore so the rebalance means still

00:15:39.840 restructuring those roles so you know your position you're on a level yes the only difference is is that

00:15:45.760 years ago everybody was happy as they are no no listen listen you weren't born years ago i was

00:15:52.800 no i don't know right well can i finish you went you went out there you weren't born yeah but i don't

00:15:57.600 buy it you weren't born you wouldn't be here you weren't even selling it let her finish you weren't born

00:16:02.080 okay years ago the one wage would have kept a whole house that's what people fear to realize one wage

00:16:12.080 would have kept a whole house so the men went out and worked and the women stayed home done their side

00:16:17.840 hustles and the women ran the house then all of a sudden they wanted bigger houses they wanted bigger

00:16:23.760 so then it took two people to go and work the difference is that two people can work and still

00:16:31.120 have those same roles and when people think about men having their roles and women have their roles

00:16:37.680 i worked my other half worked i would say like we have pink jobs and blue jobs but he cooks better

00:16:46.000 than me if he comes home first he's gonna cook it doesn't diminish his role as a man and it's all

00:16:52.560 about cooperation and that's the only difference between then and now is that one wage could have

00:16:59.760 kept a whole household now the way things are changing the way things are moving you need two wages but

00:17:05.920 because now you need two wages it doesn't mean that you're equal somebody still has to lead but the

00:17:12.400 women are thinking oh i earn my own money now and he owns his own money so all these rules are outdated no

00:17:20.640 i don't think they're outdated i just think that you still need to work together and you can still have

00:17:26.160 those roles there's people out there that have got married that have still got traditional values they're

00:17:30.960 bringing in two wages and they make it work because they each know their roles and because they are

00:17:36.560 traditional like from the start not like oh i'm gonna be a modern woman then all of a sudden i'm

00:17:40.320 gonna forget that i'm not a virgin and get married and i'm traditional i'm talking about the ones that

00:17:44.480 are traditional from the start like get married and work and i know i know a few young people like that

00:17:49.360 like your age and a bit older that are married with children and they both work but they still have

00:17:54.800 traditional roles they still have traditional roles can i say what if some women are waiting to

00:18:01.120 find the men with traditional rules are they traditional women you have to adapt to society

00:18:09.360 you can't you can't want a traditional man and you're not traditional traditional women are

00:18:13.760 suffering bare i've been seeing a lot of videos of virgins coming out and i say we also need to be

00:18:18.240 recognized my view is that if you're not a virgin like you're a virgin you get married that's the

00:18:30.000 way it was back then that is traditional you can be a traditionalist if you're not a virgin you are

00:18:35.280 not traditional in my view you are a traditionalist can i say something that's kind of strange that i

00:18:40.800 actually noticed because i've been watching a lot of like time periods of movies

00:18:44.000 the purity that we talk about in virgins the tradition that has come from like centuries

00:18:51.120 realistically there's like pervy old men that were kind of like trying to buy children from like

00:18:56.160 other families i'm not gonna lie listen right my grandmother my granddad like 14 listen right that's

00:19:01.440 rubbish my grandmother my granddad they got married and my grandma my grandmother died at 100 and odd

00:19:06.320 years old my granddad weren't pervy and they were both virgins i'm not talking about your granddad

00:19:10.880 i'm trying to say that you can't say a whole generation that because it was traditional then

00:19:14.960 that was old men and pervy that they were perving on young people well okay i'll i'll put it in

00:19:20.640 another way don't generalize don't generalize i'll just put into another way i'm not you're picking

00:19:25.120 like a nice you know a nice example that is beautiful well stop picking the bad ones i'll give you

00:19:29.440 another example i'm giving it up that's great that's fantastic another example like child marriage

00:19:34.640 it happens all over the world it's just because and these are the more traditional places in the world

00:19:40.000 in the western world child marriages in the western world i'm just explaining i'm just explaining yeah

00:19:46.000 that the more traditional places in the world this happens so if we in the western world we're trying

00:19:50.320 to go back into more traditional values where does it happen africa asia you don't know about child

00:19:57.120 marriage no my love you can't take extreme examples no no no no because even nigeria even africa is

00:20:03.920 westernized i see people that in africa that speak speak like nathan and they've never been to america

00:20:10.560 you understand yeah so you can't say in africa okay you can't take extreme examples to explain what

00:20:16.880 you're trying to say child marriage is a whole different from miami no no no i'm saying that they

00:20:22.400 speak like american no no no i'm saying that there's people in nigeria that speak like they're american

00:20:31.040 and they've never been anywhere she's saying africa africa is not what don't paint africa like one

00:20:36.480 backwards country now for you my sister i'm african too i'm angolan i know what i'm talking about what i'm

00:20:42.480 mentioning is i mentioned africa mentioned asia i mentioned certain parts in the world i'm watching

00:20:46.880 talk about what you know about i'm talking about what i know about angola listen listen listen angola

00:20:52.240 okay i'll go to angola if you go even even like literally is one of the most this is quite normal

00:20:58.080 i don't know how people don't understand this like how underage girls yeah that shouldn't even be having

00:21:02.000 sex with grown men they're doing it because their families are arranging this with it with other

00:21:06.560 families because of financial gain whatever and this has been the tradition from back in the day

00:21:11.520 kings and queens days and that's where the idea of purity being what is favored that's where it

00:21:15.760 comes from realistically if we really stop to think about it and some of the most traditional

00:21:20.320 like the ones that have not been tainted by western by western um by western ideals the majority of

00:21:26.400 marriages in angola are not child marriage oh by the way don't listen to the stats this is a communist

00:21:30.720 country actually don't come and i'm not gonna lie don't actually don't actually come and do that

00:21:38.160 because it's not fair like don't like it it doesn't happen in angola it like child marriage does

00:21:44.880 happen okay it does happen it's something that it's a problem minority even even genital um yes

00:21:51.760 yeah mutilation those are things but now you see we're in a society where we recognize this as

00:21:56.400 it is not meant to be like this right so this is why these issues are addressed but what we're talking

00:22:01.360 about is about more than um more than even in nigeria there's no more even i'm ibo do you know how

00:22:06.560 to say i'm traditional that tradition is still not there you're not it's traditionalist like you said but

00:22:11.760 it's not as tradition what's the difference between culture and tradition just just the legal age for

00:22:16.960 marriage for both men and women in angola is 18 years old you are right it's more prevalent it's

00:22:22.960 more it's more prevalent than it is here but you you you speak as if it's it's oppressing like right

00:22:30.720 why are you speaking on something you don't know i'll tell i'll tell you because i do know one and then

00:22:34.960 i'll tell you i'll use another example i'm just all i'm trying to do is expose the fascist no no no

00:22:41.680 because it's interesting because what i like to do yeah is i like people to explore their different

00:22:46.480 ideas for example you're telling go back to the most traditional thing eg boko haram yeah this is just

00:22:51.680 an example it's extreme but just to explain what traditionalism actually no but wait boko haram what

00:22:56.480 they stand for is basically against western culture because western culture in their eyes tainted the

00:23:02.000 tradition what is meant to be there and what should be there what do they do they take

00:23:05.920 girls and they marry them all over the world all over all over like the place they kidnapped them

00:23:11.120 in fact and they married children and all i'm saying is that actually the traditional idea the traditional

00:23:16.240 view of purity is not stemming from a woman why does a woman have to be visual why does she have

00:23:21.600 that traditional okay depending on the culture no because no no no no no because that is not traditional

00:23:28.080 throughout the whole western world that what you're talking about is tradition that is for that

00:23:34.320 culture the western world modernized and that's why that culture for that culture it is not all over the

00:23:40.960 western world and things are changing so that is it if you look if you look at how many child marriages

00:23:49.120 happen over the whole western world and look at the percentages it's gonna be minute what so you can't stand here and make it

00:23:56.080 so you can't stand here and make it like it's a majority because it's not so traditional traditional

00:24:03.600 doesn't mean child marriages by pervy old men is what you're saying that's not what i'm saying that is

00:24:09.600 what you said what i'm saying is for you to understand i am using you i don't want to understand

00:24:14.800 nothing you're saying i don't want to understand you said that tradition means that pervy old men are

00:24:20.480 going to go and sleep with underage two do you know what the way you took the example and then

00:24:26.880 put it into the context that's why i said that you can't use that example to explain what we're talking

00:24:31.040 about and the one thing you're taking i'm just questioning where you think the purity idea comes

00:24:35.040 the one thing the one thing you're taking out of context from a historical perspective is people did

00:24:39.920 not live as long it was not because the men were pervs it was because people had to get started a lot

00:24:45.600 quicker in order to reproduce it was a reproductive strategy the reason that men like pure women is

00:24:53.200 because they had to ensure paternity if you were sleeping around screwing the whole town they didn't

00:24:58.560 know if that kid was theirs it's not it's not that they're pervy that makes sense okay it was what is

00:25:04.240 the difference between a 17 and an 18 year old okay then i'll ask another question can i ask your question

00:25:09.680 then yeah another example cool uh quickly if that is the case if that is the case then again i'll just

00:25:16.640 say kings and queens all these times they married young girls and they were not the same age yeah young

00:25:23.440 young virginal women are have yes okay and they were all the men culture no but life expectancy back

00:25:29.440 then wasn't even 35 as the asian romans it wasn't even 35 and the girls married younger yeah people got

00:25:36.160 married younger because they did not live as long yeah okay that was normal back then right that was

00:25:42.080 normal back then and what i'm trying to explain this idea this idea of purity and youth is coming from

00:25:47.760 an outdated context i think that's a cope because you don't have it anymore do you know i don't mind

00:25:52.880 women that sleep around that are not virgins they will say that women that have lots of sex that will

00:25:58.000 turn around because they want to find men they need a man that's what they're going to turn around and say

00:26:03.040 purity don't matter because it can't matter where you've lost it because that's one thing you can't

00:26:06.880 get back that you've given away your virginity so that's why you have to say that you have to say

00:26:11.040 it don't matter so that you can get a man you know you can get operations now just say all right oh go

00:26:15.600 then go go and become a made again virgin auntie what i was saying before was like i really don't i

00:26:20.800 really don't buy this idea i think this is like one of these weird things that where like traditionalists

00:26:25.840 pretend that like the past was some great place and everyone was super happy all the time

00:26:29.840 everyone made these decisions monogamy was the perfect for everyone everyone was really happy

00:26:34.320 in their marriage and i think it's a bit more nuanced than that i've seen a lot of examples

00:26:38.960 um enough for me to question that narrative that like maybe maybe the first or second guy you got

00:26:44.240 with a married wasn't the best fit maybe you know do you know something right in the back in those days

00:26:49.760 you made your bed you lie in it yeah yeah you made your bed you lie in it and once you line it you make

00:26:54.800 it work it wasn't about happiness is about johnny the difference is we do we took away consequences

00:26:59.600 now so now now women have no consequence for any decision they pick i'm sure i'm sure women back

00:27:04.800 then there were ones that wanted to leave and probably could if there wasn't a consequence yeah

00:27:08.800 something right years ago if i had sex and i got pregnant i'm stuck there think about it and if that

00:27:14.400 was if that was a consequence now and women knew that every time they sit with a man they can get pregnant

00:27:20.160 you think they'd be messing about and sleeping around so much so you can't say that you know

00:27:24.640 things have changed now that that was back in the day that they won't happen because they made it work

00:27:30.640 and the thing is everybody all the modern people now they think that i'm gonna get with a man and

00:27:35.680 it's gonna be more rosy you know i mean 32 years is bloody hard work i've been through some and it's

00:27:42.000 hard work you make it work if that was the case it's too easy to turn around and say you know what it

00:27:47.120 don't work for me i'm gonna leave you never had that back in the day because if you turned around

00:27:51.440 and you had sex with a man and you got pregnant and you didn't make it work you were a failure

00:27:56.800 i like the way i like the way how you dropped that i love that but thank you i love that

00:28:02.000 but surely surely there are cases so so i get that in the past relationships had you know they had to

00:28:07.600 just deal with it and they had to be pragmatic and and stoic and and that has its benefits right

00:28:12.160 but surely that's not what fits for every situation surely there are situations where

00:28:16.320 women having the freedom to choose another path albeit you know maybe a path that in the in the

00:28:21.200 end would lead her to be a single cat lady surely there's situations where you could say all right

00:28:26.640 that wasn't a good marriage and maybe this is not one of them this is where societies let women down

00:28:32.800 i'm the last of them when i had my son and i was a single parent it wasn't like now i'd shame on the

00:28:38.240 family so it wasn't a matter of fact of saying oh i'm gonna go out there and i'm gonna have a child and

00:28:43.840 then it don't work for me it's not a fit because if you didn't if you went out there years ago and

00:28:48.880 you had a child it didn't fit you know what you didn't fit in society you did not fit everybody's

00:28:54.240 talking about the modern women everybody's talking about the leftover women do you know what they're

00:28:57.280 not talking about spinsters and you know what that's what you don't know what a spinster is someone

00:29:02.560 who pretends to be no google it so that i don't get it wrong and that is what no no no that is what the

00:29:09.760 modern women nowadays are going to end up to be a good old-fashioned it's an old-fashioned word

00:29:15.040 believe you me a spinster and years ago you did not want to be a spinster just as nowadays you

00:29:21.120 shouldn't want to be a leftover woman what's a spinster pearl um an unmarried woman typically

00:29:26.320 an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage oh what age what age okay what age was considered a

00:29:33.680 spinster spinster the word spinster was used to refer to a single woman between the ages of 23 to 26

00:29:41.680 while thornback is reserved for those 26 and above nowadays people are getting insulted with the word

00:29:47.760 leftover years ago you'd get insulted and feel shame if you were called a spinster that's the only

00:29:52.960 difference exactly it's the same thing but for me now i didn't know nothing about this modern woman

00:29:58.320 i knew that to be a cat woman or a dog lady you were a spinster okay i i i do get where you're

00:30:04.960 coming from i i would say i differ in the fact that i i think we let women down in society down

00:30:10.720 by promoting the wrong we we don't promote like the right values now i think we encourage women

00:30:15.600 to be masculine and we tell men to be weak and you to be emotional and everyone should have their

00:30:20.400 their space in the victory you know something i don't think i think that's what i think that we're not

00:30:24.560 us but yeah the big people at the top who want us you have the message thank you i think i think

00:30:28.960 that's that's the real issue in it because if you were promoting the virtues of being a woman

00:30:33.120 of being agreeable of being pleasant of being someone who can coexist who adds value and synergy to

00:30:38.160 a man if you're promoting resilience in men and saying listen life happens you've got to be stronger

00:30:42.960 hit the gym work on yourself be someone strong a strong man will naturally settle down in it because

00:30:47.120 we don't have time to mess around all folks but you know something back in the day the men were hot

00:30:50.960 sexy and muscular and they never had no gym and the women never had no flabby arms you know why

00:30:56.320 because they never had no gym they didn't have no microwave they didn't have no washing machine they

00:31:00.720 didn't have no rice cooker they didn't they had to go and wash by hand and you see what nowadays i've

00:31:06.480 seen people like doing um i can't correct if i get it wrong like gary and foofy they're doing it in

00:31:11.280 a blender in a microwave years ago you had to get it there and that's why you got rid of all of this you

00:31:16.640 know i mean you got rid of all of that so you didn't have to go to no gym you didn't have to go

00:31:20.880 to and the men didn't have to go to no gym the men were naturally toned and good because they have

00:31:26.320 to work with their hands and modernization has caused people to be lazy yeah my point is that it's

00:31:33.040 it's not giving women more freedom i think that that's i don't think that's where we've gone wrong

00:31:37.680 i think we've given them more freedom and then promoted the wrong paths so it's like nah i feel like

00:31:45.120 we should get rid of freedom for women and no i feel like i feel like i feel like first with the

00:31:49.200 vote we could wait then if we if we're just the villain if we remove freedom for women let's remove

00:31:53.920 options there's too many options these days as well everyone thinks that everyone is replaceable

00:31:58.240 like before you said every you make your bed you lie in it yeah that's your thing you take it you

00:32:02.880 picked it you choose it you take it go okay what would happen if divorce was illegal divorce is not

00:32:10.240 illegal is having a 50 percent self and you know what would happen yeah what would happen if divorce

00:32:14.240 was illegal uh it used to be you see that you you make better choices what what would happen if you

00:32:22.400 you were legally married to anyone you had a child with oh wait say that again what would happen you

00:32:27.200 would have legally married to anyone you had a child with condom sales will go and divorce was illegal

00:32:31.840 yeah you would you would make better choices i really believe in the main marriages you do i

00:32:37.600 believe in the old-fashioned arranged marriages where the cultures i don't care what culture it is

00:32:42.960 where you get the the mummies and the daddies and the aunties and they come together and and then a lot

00:32:48.400 of people i've i've got a lot of engine i call them in my children some of them i have love marriages

00:32:54.240 some of them had the range marriages and a lot of people think the main marriage is like

00:32:58.560 that's the man that's you you're gonna go together but there's a lot of work that goes into it and

00:33:02.640 i've seen it in africa and i've seen my african friends as well where they all get together and

00:33:06.800 they decide you know what if this is the man you like let's check out his family let's check out his

00:33:10.720 background let's come together and talk and the weird thing is i was in barbados and my nephew

00:33:18.480 was having a baby with a girl and my sister my late sister was oh i'm going to meet the family i'm like

00:33:24.080 what do you mean oh well he's having a baby we need to go and meet the family my first view is

00:33:27.840 hang on a minute they never called you when they were having sex how come now they're pregnant you're

00:33:30.640 going to go and meet the family but apparently it was their thing that you got my daughter pregnant

00:33:36.400 or my daughter allows you to get her pregnant and all the family they come together and they sit down

00:33:41.600 and they discuss what's going to happen and i'm talking not like 50 years ago i'm talking this is

00:33:48.160 happening like five ten years ago and it still goes on in certain societies where you get pregnant

00:33:54.000 or you get together we're going to get together and talk and i think there needs to be a village

00:33:58.720 it can be that village that that village needs to be there that village and that's what's missing

00:34:03.120 because everybody's doing their own thing and saying that this is right and that is not wrong but

00:34:07.520 if they have the old village together to get together and help them make decisions because i even know

00:34:12.400 like um i had african people and when they were having a problem in their relationships

00:34:16.400 before all this social media i'm like where you go oh i'm going to see my uncle i have to speak to

00:34:21.200 the elders we have problems i have to go i don't know what do you mean or left the girl gets pregnant

00:34:26.480 where are you going i'm going my mother is coming i'm i'm having a baby i'm like what do you mean

00:34:30.880 nope it's tradition you go and you take either the mother come i thought it was weird but it works

00:34:36.160 out and i understand it now i had african friends and when they have a baby the mother-in-law moves in

00:34:41.520 yeah for three months at least oh you see what i mean and and that was fantastic because

00:34:45.520 she would show her how to cope how to cook you can do all of this and all of that while she's having

00:34:50.400 the children the the mother-in-law and she helps and teaches her why she's having a baby and nowadays

00:34:56.880 it's like i'm gonna have a baby and i'm gonna have this where your parents where is that and i'm not

00:35:01.200 talking about years ago because i saw this happening like 20 years ago yeah and it works to me it works

00:35:08.560 especially with the african societies but now you get these new modern african people and they don't want

00:35:13.920 to go to their elders it'd be great if you've got a problem rather than go on social media and talk

00:35:18.480 about it go to your elders that is what is that is what is good about some of the tradition is that

00:35:24.240 they're there for your backup and i'm so used to like my african friends going and talking to their

00:35:29.200 elders or i used to find it really weird like you and your husband having problems and you're having

00:35:33.120 this meeting you go in the house it's like the whole room is full of all these old people and you're

00:35:37.360 sitting there discussing your problems and it works because the ultimate foundation of society

00:35:42.480 is family and family family structures are lacking these days unfortunately because me as well till

00:35:49.520 today there's a problem my dad would be like i'm calling your uncle i'm calling your aunt yeah like

00:35:53.760 and i'm like oh god but because society has now made us very self-absorbed my feelings my

00:35:58.880 feelings my feelings we don't want other people to you know intrude and the thing is because you know

00:36:04.640 that all your whole family is getting involved don't that change your behavior absolutely shim

00:36:09.360 thank you so there's certain things that you won't do or there's certain things you won't let them know

00:36:13.680 about you can't you can't bring like the the come up like rapper back to your dad and say like oh no

00:36:19.920 no no my own is straight up if you're coming into my house anybody who meets my dad be ready to marry

00:36:24.080 me no that's that's what i'm saying like because girls will go for like the bad guys that they're

00:36:27.920 20. but i'm saying i'm saying like that wouldn't that wouldn't happen you know so i just used like

00:36:32.720 rapper as an architect yeah but for me some some of them are good and juicy sorry years ago when you

00:36:38.240 took your let's say like if you went and you said oh this is my partner what are your intentions towards

00:36:44.880 my daughter yes can i see your bank account which is your job what are you and all of that yeah and

00:36:50.160 i remember going to like weddings where i always thought it was indian people that had diaries and i

00:36:55.520 remember having african friend he had all this suitcase for the new clothes and presents here and

00:36:59.840 jewelry there and i'm like what are you doing i have to show the family that i can support her yes

00:37:04.240 and it's like a whole ceremony of like showing them what you can give her showing the family and

00:37:09.040 that's what i mean nowadays it's too easy for people to go and get married to show the family that they

00:37:13.200 can look after that the problem is the women nowadays aren't worth it like why would a guy do all that

00:37:19.040 when she's out here in the street why are you clapping so hard why would a guy do that for a

00:37:25.760 31 year old wife you can't even say because i've ever experienced this recently and you know obviously

00:37:31.360 i don't have these traditionalist views right so you know some of these guys are out here counting

00:37:34.560 body counts for me it's more like in the way they act like i i i messed around with like an older

00:37:40.160 woman like a few months ago 42 only ever been with one guy you know like and i can just when i'm around

00:37:46.320 her it's just like she's from a different age there was no no she's you know she's gorgeous so

00:37:51.040 i'm not running but she's from a different age like just the way she behaves the way she cries

00:37:55.280 herself the way she talks very soft very pleasant not too opinionated it's just like it's just like

00:38:01.120 but she sounds like a real woman that's what i realized that being with her i was like yo there's

00:38:06.320 no one in my generation that can like being around someone like that was like you know what i'm a

00:38:10.480 bachelor i'm probably going to be a bachelor for the next five six seven years but hanging out with

00:38:14.080 that i was like you know i actually get why people like get married why was she on her own

00:38:19.520 why is she 42 and single fussy it's not your business i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be saying

00:38:23.440 that okay i always say that's their story that's their story be like there's modern modern you know

00:38:28.480 problems have modern solutions but there's a lot of stuff going on here in london but still i'm not

00:38:32.640 gonna lie oh do you want children uh ideally yeah oh what shame what's stopping you when you're saying

00:38:39.920 ideally that's a bunch of things meeting the right person the reason i was asking because that woman

00:38:45.360 sound like she's captured a bit of him but she's old you know what i mean so i ain't see no children

00:38:49.280 no one can capture me but i think i think i always tell her like i always tell her like if you were

00:38:53.760 like 25 20 years younger that's why i asked about children it would have been the end because you

00:38:59.200 sounded like if she could breathe and be healthy i would have her i'm not i'm not missing out yeah i was just

00:39:05.120 like yeah yeah if you were like 20 years younger yeah i'll be getting some factory job i'll be like

00:39:12.240 did you have something you wanted to add i forgot no you said you're not gonna lie oh yeah yeah i ain't

00:39:18.960 gonna lie um don't lie i'm scared to get married why because um the generation now compared to back in

00:39:26.400 the days i'm talking before we were born it was different like back in the days when when they meet

00:39:31.600 each other they get married and they just stay together you know what i'm saying but a generation

00:39:36.160 now it's like it's bad it's toxic when i mean by that it's like everybody's just breathing each

00:39:41.600 other everybody's having babies and then they're never with that same person so you get what i'm

00:39:47.120 trying to say and it's scary i mean i've seen it so many times with a lot of people and it affects me

00:39:52.320 the reason why i say it affects me because it's not feeling a child and it scares me to imagine that you

00:39:56.800 want to get married now you know what i'm saying i've always said like let's say first time for me i have a son

00:40:02.400 i tried so hard obviously to make the relation work yeah i'm not saying i'm perfect you know what i'm

00:40:07.280 saying but i was never acquitted i see as like if you've made a family just but like you can't

00:40:12.880 stick together for life do you know what i mean but our generation i think i blame the social media

00:40:16.960 i feel like it's that it's a distraction that's just my honest opinion technology yeah it's the

00:40:21.680 technology so that's why i'm scared to get mad i'm scared like if i get married after three years

00:40:25.280 hold up wait a minute oh she gonna want to take my money or she want to take my house

00:40:28.880 can i ask your question when was the last time you had sex you're asking me yeah he's jamaican

00:40:35.600 auntie maybe like that got nothing to do but i got jamaican back i got just two hours ago no no no

00:40:41.280 about three two days three days ago oh are you serious about that person no no because i'm asking

00:40:49.440 that because the way he's describing i'm tired of people saying oh this is what i want and it's

00:40:55.280 things of change and they're contributing towards we have to be that what we have to be accountability

00:41:01.360 you can't turn around and say this is what i want but what are you doing to make that happen

00:41:06.640 to make that happen because the change don't come from out there the change comes from you within

00:41:13.280 and if you want to see a change then it's down to each individual to start making the change

00:41:18.800 you can't turn around and say this is what i want i don't want to be paddling in a muddy pool

00:41:24.480 when you're helping make the pool muddy because at the end of the day what have you got to choose from

00:41:31.520 the that you've really crept in that's why i said self-love i hear that auntie but then but you

00:41:36.880 get to ever have don't agree with the same thing even though even though you still love that person

00:41:43.440 you need to be more fussy more selective and treasure your dick self-love i'm not gonna lie

00:41:51.680 i'm not i value yourself they don't deserve it as far as i'm concerned if you want somebody good

00:41:59.840 don't be dipping your dick in somebody bad i see i hear what you're saying but for us men yeah and

00:42:05.600 i'm talking for us it's hard as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on

00:42:15.280 a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below

00:42:22.560 every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - November 13, 2023

A REALITY Check for Modern Women Disguising As Traditional Women

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